#i myself am a fan of harrison ford

[annieqattheperipheral]

Just watched saving sakic with lunch. I hadn't been clamoring to see it and only just sat down to do so bc my sis-in-law and i were watching trailers on prime video last night (why watch anything when you can just scroll thru listings and chitchat shittalk n comment💕) and she actually mocked me for calling myself an avs fan and not having seen it. Well then.

It is pretty interesting to watch sitting in 2024. Would the 2001 and 2022 cups have even happened without their star player turned vp then gm then president? Likely not. Pre-salary cap it would've destroyed colorado sports rep with this happening so soon after the nuggets collapse after losing their own star player (the doc explains this). Other star players (1996 cup winners) might've followed out. 2001 avs would've been in a rebuilding stage with five 1st round draft picks (received by nyr if avs hadn't matched the offer sheet) instead of being playoff contenders.

My biggest upset of the doc (beyond having to watch and listen to a bunch of old men at 1x speed) is not👏 enough👏 natemac👏 Truly upsetting. Every avs 2022 cup winning montage it was mostly EJ?? I mean yes ty ty🙏 we miss our horsegirl bring her home (was this a hint by the editor???) Nice nate shot at the parade, but that was at the end! puh.

One dude that was great to listen to was the mayor of denver (sry no not LOC) at the time this big huge beloved guy mayor webb, first black mayor of denver. Love that he understood what needed to be done but refused to be pushed around by the corporate men clamouring for a new arena and was like bish do the taxpayers even want to invest in you? Prove it.

It's not a spectacularly put together doc, has a very film studies student doc project vibe with stock image/ funny movie/reaction gif inserts. Also the worst thing is that they don't give much details on how much they raised from the revenue streams mentioned, so the resolution comes very fast once they mention where they got the money, and it's like what? i was just getting revved up for the climax and offer sheet deadline countdown, how did the climax just pass me by, i am so unsatisfied.

But that's all done on purpose bc that's not the climax at all!!!!!! Which is pretty neat! but like woof. Not as captivating as they might've hoped.

So am i glad i watched it? Yes

Would i watch again? No but i am inspired to watch the avs cup parade again!!

Should you watch it? Strong avs fan-- yes. Hockey doc lover-- yea why not. Casual hockey/entertainment/pop culture fan-- yea it's actually a cool case study of how entertainment/ pop culture/ business reputation works.

Also i want to know if avs players watched it, did they have a movie night at gabe's??

The big shocking spoiler reveal at the end:

if you're gonna watch it, idk treat yo'self, don't mess it up for yourself

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harrison ford himself saved joe sakic and I'm not even kidding.

Yes the movie air force one was the big mover n shaker, but it wouldn't have even had a chance if it weren't for harrison speaking his mind to the studio head to change the release date which led off the domino effect

[vanhelsingapologist]

I am submitting my formal request for folk music ~opinions~ ❤️

Folk music is another one of those genres that’s hard to pinpoint. It’s basically been merging with country and Americana for years. Further, are people asking for traditional folk? Folk metal? Indie folk? Baroque folk? But it’s all folk! Folk, folk, folk. I’ve written it so many times that it doesn’t look like a word. Anyway, I went contemporary/indie/roots folk for this. Started with more woodsy stuff, too.

• Empty Northern Hemisphere by Gregory Alan Isakov. Gregory Alan Isakov is one of those artists I adore and I think he pretty consistently nails it when it comes to folksy themes and instrumentation. His Weatherman album is pretty fantastic. He’s probably considered indie folk, if I had to put a finger on it.

• My Gal, My Guy by Darlingside. The first song I ever heard by them was called Harrison Ford, which is also pretty good, but there’s just something about this song! Also indie folk.

• Oats In The Water by Ben Howard. He has another great one called In Dreams. His earlier music sort of feels like standing in a dead forest. I can’t really explain it beyond that. His newer stuff is a bit more atmospheric, but it’s good.

• Bavarian Porcelain by Sea Wolf. His song Dear Fellow Traveller got some fandom airtime, but his whole discography is pretty good and soaked with forest imagery. My favorite album is probably White Water, White Bloom, but Cedarsmoke is very kind to me.

• Let This Remain by Alana Henderson. Henderson keeps making her way into my playlists. She sort of reminds me of Enya, sort of reminds me of something reminiscent of the Dresdon Dolls, but it’s just enough that she’s got this incredible unique sound.

• Francis by Haley Heynderickx and Max García Conover. This is another one that I have to physically restrain myself from looping. Their voices blend really well, and I’d also consider it my official endorsement of both their music. Heynderickx’s No Face and Show You A Body kill me and Conover’s collaboration on the everything in winter album is worth a listen.

• Deep Green by Marika Hackman. I feel like we can call Marika Hackman folk. Her voice is haunting, her lyrics stick, and she does really neat stuff instrumentally, and she had the folk sound. Not coffeehouse music, so I had to look to see what she’s categorized as. Alternative, it was. Her new album is less folksy, but We Slept At Last definitely is.

• Darlin Corey by Amythyst Kiah. If you haven’t heard any of her work, go listen as soon as possible. She’s got this deep, beautiful sound and writes about isolation in a way that really resonates. It’s hard to find artists who make folk that sounds a hundred years old, but she nails it every single time.

• Love Me Like You Used To by Lord Huron. Lord Huron is an old favorite, and I do think their Long Lost album is my favorite, despite Strange Trails being so well-known. Nothing makes you wanna awoo the way these guys do.

• Traveling On by The Decemberists. I’m a Decemberists fan first, person second. Sometimes I go about my day and “street side smokers, holy rollers” pops into my head at random. Hopefully, you will share my plight.

• Ofelia by Kiltro. Kiltro plays a mixture of shoegaze and Chilean folk. If that doesn’t sound like the best fucking time ever get AWAY from me. Creatures of Habit bumped all year before I graduated.

• The Weight by Amigo the Devil. Darker folk. I think he’s on a playlist called Murderfolk, which just about sums it up. I might put Amigo the Devil in the same camp as AJJ in terms of sound. Slightly different in lyricism.

• Northern Wind by Liza Anne. Their new stuff isn’t folk, but their old stuff is definitely indie folk. I sometimes describe them as drinking cold water, and I think that definitely sticks with their Two album.

As always, I have no idea what I’m talking about. Hope this is good!

[jbkrasinski]

@huntyfamz ...kind of a random introduction, but I saw you were filming the next installment of Blade Runner and I had to reach out and say how excited I am for that. Huge fan of the saga, I remember watching the original growing up and wishing I was Harrison Ford. Now that I've aged myself considerably, congrats on all of the success! I'm dying to watch Kinds of Kindness, too, so that's two of your filmography on my to-watch list.

[moonstruckwytch]

okay but i totally thought it was a weasley too in the finally drew this robe post u rbd

it is apparently hux from star wars (which i am also a massive fan of i will admit) but i was legitimately like…. ron???

AND THEN i was like “no ron wouldn’t wear something like that” … chaRLIE????

and then i checked the tags and felt very silly

[shannendoherty-fans]

In Touch, 2nd February 2015

I'm 43 and More Confident Than Ever

Hollywood's original bad girl on her former co-stars, kids and plastic surgery

Shannen Doherty was 19 when she burst onto the scene in the '90s TV phenomenon Beverly Hills, 90210 – and she quickly developed a "wild child" reputation, thanks to her turbulent love life and party girl ways. At 43, however, Shannen has settled down: She's been happily married to photographer Kurt Iswarienko for three years and tours the country with best pal and fellow Charmed alum Holly Marie Combs in the road trip series Off the Map With Shannen & Holly. She's also in the best shape of her life. "I feel amazing," Shannen tells In Touch's Rick Egusquiza. "I think in your 40s there's a confidence. You've done it, you've been there and you know what you want in a calm, peaceful way."

You're 43 and look amazing. How have you managed that?

SD: I was the girl who said, "I don't work out. I eat what I want." Then I turned 40 and my metabolism slowed down. Plus, after my father passed away [in 2010], I got depressed and didn't take care of myself. But now I embrace exercise.

What's your workout routine?

SD: My trainer, Kevan Watson, owns a gym called Box'N Burn. We do boxing and cardio, four times a week. And I'm trying not to eat such bad food. I've definitely become a healthier Shannen.

Now that you're in your 40s, have you considered plastic surgery?

SD: I haven't done anything yet. [Laughs] But I never say never.

In June, you told us you were considering adoption. How's that progressing?

SD: I can't even believe that I put that out there! Doing interviews on red carpets are tricky, man – they put this spotlight on you, you're like a deer in the headlights.

You travel around the U.S. in Off the Map; is itfun road-tripping with Holly, or has ittested your friendship?

SD: Actually, we've traveled a lot together over the years. We have small arguments about going here or there. But we work it out.

Have you also remained pals with some of your 90210 castmates?

SD: Yes, I ended up making some very good friends – Jennie Garth, Ian Ziering, Brian Austin Green.

What about Tori Spelling?

SD: Well, we have the same publicist, but I'm more social with Jennie.

Any regrets from those days?

SD: It was so long ago. I just look back and think, Wow, that was an amazing experience.

Are you open to a 90210 reunion?

SD: Possibly. But doing the new version [it ran from 2008 to 2013], I think I've already given some closure to fans who loved the show.

--

ON A LIGHTER NOTE... Shannen answers our silliest questions!

What's your porn star name (childhood dog + childhood street)?

Curious George McVay.

What's your go-to karaole song?

"Sweet Home Alabama" by Lynyrd Skynyrd.

What's your guilty pleasure?

Truffle fries.

What did you have for breakfast this morning?

Coffee.

Who's your biggest celebrity crush?

Martin Scorsese. He's a director more than a celebrity but I love him.

What's one fact about you that would surprise us?

I am very sensitive.

Biggest splurge purchase ever?

My house,and then my house again since I'm redoing it from the studs up.

Which celebrity hasmade you most starstruck?

Harrison Ford.

What was your childhood nickname?

"Sugarplum" – but only my dad could call me that!

[thevibraniumveterans]

YOU’RE INVITED TO HAN AND LEIA’S WEDDING IN STAR WARS: THE PRINCESS AND THE SCOUNDREL – EXCLUSIVE REVEAL

WE HOPE YOU CAN ATTEND WHEN THE NEW BOOK BY BETH REVIS ARRIVES THIS SUMMER.

By Kristin Baver, Feb 14, 2022

We’ve seen the courtship of Princess Leia unfold on screen. Now, a new book cordially invites fans to attend the wedding of Leia Organa and Han Solo.

This Valentine’s Day, StarWars.com is thrilled to reveal Star Wars: The Princess and the Scoundrel, a new novel from author Beth Revis arriving this summer. Set just after the events of Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, the story begins on the forest moon of Endor, where Han proposes in the elation of the rebel victory against the Empire. After a ceremony at the site of the victory celebration at the end of the film, the newlyweds depart for a honeymoon aboard the Halcyon starcruiser, the luxury vessel at the heart of the new Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser experience at Disney World Resort. In their most desperate hour, with the war still raging but the Empire nearing its last gasp, the couple must outwit the Imperial remnants clinging to power.

StarWars.com recently sat down with Revis to talk about her love for Leia, how her husband helped refine the dialogue for Han Solo, and the power of love amid the chaos of a galaxy at war.

StarWars.com: First things first: congratulations on your new book! You’ve written some amazing Star Wars heroines including Padmé, Ahsoka, and Jyn. What was your reaction to learning you would get to write Leia — and fresh off the rebel victory at Endor no less?

Beth Revis: I have often said that my two favorite Star Wars movies are Return of the Jedi and Rogue One. Getting to write Jyn Erso was a dream come true, and my first journey into writing for Star Wars. But Leia has been my hero for as long as I remember — I grew my hair long to be like her, and I even had a brother named Luke! She was my princess when I was a child, and she became my general when I became an adult. I can only hope that I’ve done her justice in this story.

StarWars.com: How did you approach this story?

Beth Revis: The first thing I did was watch all three of the original movies again (how am I lucky enough that this is my job?!). My initial instinct was to focus on Return of the Jedi since this book picks up right after it, but as I dug into the story, I found myself watching The Empire Strikes Back on repeat. The emotional beats of Han and Leia’s relationship start to spin out in Empire — it’s not just the famous “I know,” line, but it’s the way Leia relates how she doesn’t trust Lando and Han responds with seriousness, the way their trust builds, all the moments that lead up to their confession of love. By the time Return of the Jedi picks up the story, Leia’s been left with that confession long enough to get comfortable with the idea of it. It’s one reason why the relationship between the two works — Leia was always going to be someone who had to think about something like love, and Han was always going to be someone who just followed his gut. The time lapse between those two movies helped them both evolve so that they’re on the same page by the time Han is unfrozen.

I took pages and pages of notes on their dialogue, their mannerisms, the subtle ways they interacted. Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford are simply brilliant actors, and they gave me a lot to work with! I wanted this to be a story where the past was still present, but they were moving forward into new territory. It’s an emotional journey — the aftermath of war always is, but so is the new foundling steps of love.

StarWars.com: Of course, there’s plenty of time to explore my favorite scruffy-looking nerf herder. What did you find most challenging about writing Han and Leia as individuals and as a couple?

Beth Revis: I tested every single line of banter out loud as I wrote it! Thankfully, I married my own scruffy-looking nerf herder, so I’d corner him while I was writing and we’d go back and forth with the dialogue to make sure it sounded correct. Bickering is Han and Leia’s love language, after all! I can happily blow up ships in space, but finding the right balance between funny and romantic in their dialogue was perhaps the most difficult thing of the whole book.

For Han, I wanted to make sure the emotion was still true behind his bravado. No one has ever accused Han of being in touch with his feelings, but he’s a smart guy with strong instincts, and he knows what he’s doing, whether that’s kissing a girl or shooting a blaster. So he is aware that his relationship with Leia can never truly be uncomplicated, but he still has enough confidence to think that it’s worth the try.

On the flip side, I needed to ensure that Leia’s leap of faith in her personal life rang true. I’ve always seen her as someone who can lead troops better than her own heart, someone who’s compartmentalized herself for her own survival. Unwinding that became crucial, and I found the most helpful resources for those feelings in the comics, particularly the Star Wars comics that bridged The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, but also in [Marvel’s comic book series] Shattered Empire.

Han had to learn how to build some walls, and Leia had to learn how to tear some down.

StarWars.com: Hope was an important undercurrent in your book Rebel Rising, which explored Jyn Erso’s life before the main events in Rogue One. What are some of the recurring themes readers can expect in this tale?

Beth Revis: One thing that I love about the new movies is that Leia and Han don’t actually end up in the idyllic perfect family life that we like to think of as a “happily ever after.” Instead, they have to work — for decades — to remain in love, and they consistently choose to make that happen. Even if they’re apart, they’re still in love, not because of fate, but because they choose to be. And that’s stunning. That was what I wanted to show about them as a couple — that they had a choice to make, and they chose each other.

It’s a variation of hope, in a way, which is the founding principle of all things Star Wars. The idea that every day, we have a choice. And we just have to continue to choose love and hope. At any point, we can walk away when things get hard. But choosing not to — that’s what real love is about.

StarWars.com: We’ve already seen Han and Leia cleaned up for the Medal of Yavin ceremony. What can you tell us about their wedding as you’ve envisioned it?

Beth Revis: I don’t want to spoil anything as the wedding is possibly my favorite scene of the whole book, but I will say that when Ewoks are involved, nothing ever goes to plan!

In all seriousness, though, what makes the wedding scene my favorite is the ring ceremony. The rings become an important symbol throughout the book — I’m being vague on purpose so I don’t spoil anything, but I think it’s true of all societies, whether they be on Earth or in a galaxy far, far away, that ceremonies become a necessary component of culture. We ascribe value to specific moments, and we bring up importance to symbols from those moments, including wedding rings. A wedding is like a bright star in a person’s life — a fixed point of light. And that’s true for Han and Leia as well.

Star Wars: The Princess and the Scoundrel arrives August 16 and is available for pre-order now.

[bonesgadh]

The problem of using original characters as bait for a sequel and why I think that, so far, Yashahime is not doing it right.

When you are planning a sequel I understand the need to use the original characters to get people interested in the new story, especially if the original is very popular and close to a lot of people’s hearts. Inuyasha is very special to me because I have been a fan since I was five years old and it has helped me through many difficult moments in my life, and I know it is special to a lot of people as well. 

 From the moment Yashahime got announced they stated the story would be about the three girls. However, the reason why virtually every single fan I saw on social media were asking themselves: “okay, but where are the originals?” was because of a very simple reason: they wanted you to wonder where they were literally from day one. Moroha’s bio straight-out said she was Inuyasha and Kagome’s daughter but that she didn’t remember them because she had grown up alone. 

I’m gonna use two examples I’m familiar with to try to explain myself: Harry Potter and Star Wars.

Let’s imagine The Cursed Child never existed and that they do a movie sequel to Harry Potter instead. If they don’t show Harry, Ron and Hermione in the trailer, the obvious question among the fans would be: “where are they?” It wouldn’t matter if they already stated that the story will have new protagonists and a new plot, you only care about seeing them again because they are the characters you are familiar with. Also if they hint that their kids grew up alone and that they don’t remember their parents, you would immediately ask yourself what happened to them. It is narrative 1.0.

Even though I hated The Cursed Child, Rowling knew the Harry Potter fandom very well. There’s no doubt whatsoever that Albus and Scorpius were the main characters in Cursed Child, but we still got the golden trio in a supporting role aiding the new protagonists without stealing the spotlight. 

Now, moving on to Star Wars: one of the main reasons why the sequel trilogy crashed and burned was because they failed to give a proper closure to the original characters. Luke was too OOC, Han was in The Force Awakens only because they begged Harrison Ford to appear, and Carrie’s unexpected death got in the way of giving Leia closure. Also fans will never forgive them for not giving us at least one moment of the original three together. My guess is people in charge of the sequels hoped the new characters would be strong enough to carry the story on their own, which kinda failed because their stories weren’t consistent through the trilogy and the shadow of the original trio was too powerful.

If I had to guess, I would say the people in charge of Yashahime made the same mistake. They hoped fans would fall in love with the three girls and that they would be strong enough to carry the sequel to a story as famous as Inuyasha. Don’t get my wrong, I really like the girls, but I don’t love them the same way I loved the Inugang. And I know it is not a competition, but let’s be honest: you can’t help but compare every single detail, from the music to the characters. I don’t know if it’s a script issue, but if every single episode your fans end up asking themselves: “cool, but where is the original group?” you are not doing a good job at writing strong characters than can carry the weight of a sequel on their backs.

Three weeks ago we were fucking baited with that teaser of Miroku because they knew we would go batshit crazy, and they only gave us like two seconds without proper context. That same episode we got a brief mention of Sango and a flashback to an episode of Final Act. Since then, silence. Shippo hasn’t been seen or mentioned at all, and neither have Kin’u and Gyokuto. Now, if there’s nothing wrong with them and it turns out they are just chillin’ by the beach, then why the need of teasing us? They clearly wanted us to go crazy because of all the mystery and that is just mean.

Same goes for Sessrin shippers. I don’t ship that pair by any means; however, even I am annoyed by all the hints and teasing that screams at you that Rin is the mother but the people in charge didn’t have the balls to confirm it from the start. I hate when they tease fans and use us to get high ratings in order to make a reveal that IS SO DAMN OBVIOUS. I mean, SHE IS THE ONE INSIDE THAT DAMN TREE!!!

I kept telling myself “don’t freak out, we are only 2/3/4/5/6/7 episodes in.” Also Yashahime will have 24 episodes and if they are following the classic structure it means we already saw the first third of the story, a.k.a the set-up. BUT this is also a red flag for them. The fans are pissed off and even those of us who were like “guys, chill out. There’s no way they will reveal something important so soon” are getting impatient and mad af. 

In conclusion I like the show and I will continue to watch it, but I sincerely hope the second third of the story improves and they stop rushing shit for the sake of it. Also that they make these girls a bit vulnerable, I’m tired of them being so damn strong (I already ranted about this last week).

[brkfstgrrrls]

@2187s LEFT A NIGHTMARE AFTER THE TONE: 🥝🥝🥝🥝🥝 !!!

@rapturcd - Where to start to describe a friend? Nox is a close online friend whom I’ve had the pleasure of following for the last few years now. We’ve been able to keep up with each other from blog to blog, and continued to do so when she revived this blog right here, a Bioshock oc. I’ll admit that when I saw her move here, I had no clue what the hell Bioshock was other than some video game. I’ve been graced with so many exciting details, passion has been poured into every message and post she makes upon the dash, it instantly made me a fan of this little franchise. Though the Bioshock rpc is small, Nox has found a way to make it her own. Her blog is filled with so much helpful information, and one look at her extremely well thought out, and detailed OC page will tell you all you need to know about this vast universe. With every OC she makes, it’s done with love and care, but something about Nicholas is truly special. Aside from being from one of the most interesting and unique fandoms, Nicholas was crafted with more detail than the gods could give any living being. Nox is also a plot driven writer, I know I am too so if that’s your thing, you’ll be glad to know not only is she a peach but she’s very fun to bounce ideas with! She helped me learn so much about Bioshock, it made plotting feel effortless and an overall thrill. If you don’t follow her, not only are you missing out, but I’ll personally be offended on her behalf.

@segadore - It’s been a few years now, and I have not been able to get Fawn off of my tail, damn you— I’M KIDDING, no but really, Fawn and I have been buddies for the last few years, and I started following her on her Steve Harrington blog. I’ve already gushed in the past about how much I love her Steve, so in the same way she’s so kindly embraced my OCs, I’d like to do the same with hers. Let’s start off with this: Fawn is the one person I see constantly and without a second thought embracing all writers, you could write an oc, canon muse from a different fandom, female oc, doesn’t matter– she will love them like her own. You speak with Fawn ooc, and you’ll feel at home, you’re never a bore nor bother. They’re one of the few people in this RPC I feel so genuinely safe around, and they make me feel like a valued writer even when I’m being ignored by others on the dash, I feel important, and it’s thanks to them. Fawn writes a very amazing muse named Mykah, from what can only be described as a non-existent fandom. I learned about Dead Like Me through her, and I’ve since been completely hooked on this concept and universe. Mykah is a very special, and well-thought out muse. He’s a soul collecting reaper from California, and he’s got so much wit, charm, and attitude, how could you not love the guy? He’s got a tough exterior, but he’s so funny as well, you can tell when you’re reading something Fawn wrote, they have such a unique tone, your eyes will be glued to the screen instantly as soon as you see a reply in your inbox. From the bottom of my heart, I hope we continue to write for years to come. If you want some fresh content you’ve never seen before, and perhaps one of the kindest friends, with the most goddamn creative mindset, please, go look at Fawn’s content. For the love of GOD go look.

@wyntered​ - You know how when your favorite musician or celebrity makes a post on Instagram or twitter, you go “Ah! There’s _____ again, classic ol’ _____, love them.” and you get all giddy in your seat, overwhelmed just by their presence even if it isn’t for you? That’s how I feel everytime I read each and everyone of Chantelle’s posts. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t get to read all of my rp partners replies to other folks, sometimes I’m too busy, or honestly? I don’t feel like it. But the amount of effort and research they’ve put into this, how could I not? I love reading both her replies to myself and other people, I love reading her meta posts and headcanons, because I know it’ll not only be helpful but just wonderful. It’s also so nice to see how much care she’s put into writing such a complicated man like Bucky Barnes, her portrayal is uniquely her own, and she’s truly made sure to set a realistic example for others. I’ve learned so much, and it’s thanks to her. They’ve also been so gracious in writing with my own Marvel OC, Alice, and never act annoyed or bothered. That’s not something you often find with people who write popular canon muses, but it’s something I’ve been lucky enough to find with Chantelle. Do yourself a favor, buckle up, and get excited. Go and give her a follow, because I just know in my heart she’ll be more than happy to embrace you with open arms. Thanks for giving me the most iconic and kickass friendship for my daughter! It’s probably obvious to y’all by now that I love Chantelle’s work, so you know this message is genuine.

@capnsolo - I found out a few weeks ago that Kayla and I have been mutuals for years, and neither of us knew it. We’ll ignore that for now. I know Kayla as the most fantabulous Han Solo mun on the block, no really, she’s amazing. We found each other again because I writer princess Leia ( over on @/hopescorned ) and well… SCOUNDRESS! Together, we’ve managed to create our own little version of canon to their storyline, and we continue to develop it each time we speak. I’m not very good at articulating my thoughts, but my point is, Kayla is a very skilled, and creative woman. She’s smart, she knows how to use canon as a crutch, but doesn’t rely on it. She let’s her brain do the talking, and she knows how to collaborate well with others, and happens to be very open minded and flexible to other people’s muses. No matter how outlandish the idea might be for a story, Kayla will find a way to work with it. I’ve never seen someone capture Han’s tone so well, each time I read one of her replies, I can truly see and hear Harrison Ford acting each of the stories we create, out in my head. She has a way with her words, and she’s a true talent. Please, even if Star Wars isn’t your think, at least give her work a chance, it’ll be a pleasant surprise.

@nostlgic - Ash & I have been writing together since February, and the day we started speaking, they were one of the kindest souls I’ve been graced with speaking to. A passionate writer, you’ll be pleasured to see that their muse list is rather long, and diverse. Ash is the kind of writer that is always up for the challenge. You have an OC no one is interested? Cool, Ash is now interested in writing with them. You have a crazy rp idea you want to pursue? Ash is the first in line to give it a try. Whenever I write with Ash, I know it’s going to be a new and exciting adventure, each story is different from the next, and with each muse, they shift tones effortlessly; Stephen King would envy them. I made a post probably a month or two ago about how I wanted to write with an Edward Scissorhands, and within approximately 10 seconds, they volunteered to add him to her muse roster, and a mutual friend of ours even went to comment “I was going to tag Ash but it seems she’s already here” and why is that? That’s just the kind of person Ash is, and I truly love it. Go and peep her profile, because I can guarantee there’s at least one muse you’ll want to write with.

            ･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡♡  SEND A 🥝 FOR A BLOG RECCOMENDATION

[myevilmouse]

Hi, how long have you been in the SW fandom? How did you get into it?

Thank you so much for this ask anon!  I love asks, even those that reveal that I am a fandom ancient, like this one.

Although I was unable to see Star Wars at the movies in 1977, my entire family was pretty obsessed when it came out.  My brother had all the action figures and comics, and my mother was the world’s biggest Han Solo fan. 

We played with blasters and Kenner playsets and invented all kinds of great adventures for Luke and the gang.  So I was a fan of Star Wars even before I saw the movie!  I had the long-playing storybook record and the picture books, a couple action figures of my own, promotional tie in items from fast food chains, whatever I could get.  

And then…Empire came out and that solidified my love of the franchise and characters.  We went as a family to see Empire in the theatre…which you can read about here.  And then Return of the Jedi was released, which just was the perfect ending to a perfect fairy tale for me.  And I think Luke Skywalker’s legs kickstarted my puberty, too. 

Luke was always my favorite—although my mom claiming Harrison Ford as her own may have influenced the choice, I’m pretty sure I would have picked the Jedi regardless.  I’ve always been a sucker for blond boys in black.

So anyway, Star Wars was a real Thing in my family, growing up.  Going back at least to 1980, for me personally.  When VHS became a thing, we got those movies and it was a Thanksgiving weekend tradition to watch them all.  We were all crazy fans, quoting lines and devouring the EU/Legends books when they started coming out.  I was just saying to some friends today that my mom read Heir To The Empire before I did—she had dibs and then the kids could read.

I stuck with the EU novels for a long time…but lost interest as the adventures got weirder and less focused on my man…but everything Star Wars imparted joy for me.

TL;DR my love of Star Wars has basically been with me my entire life.  In college, I wallpapered my dorm room with printed out copies of the scripts.  Star Wars was my comfort food, something I could turn to when whatever else I was currently obsessing over lost its appeal. 

So to your question re: fandom...I wasn’t really active in “fandom” because fandom as we know it today wasn’t a thing…people were waiting 10 minutes for one picture to load Netscape and reading fic on usenet back in those days.  There weren’t the same outlets as there are now…

Fast forward past the Special Edition rereleases (I disapprove of every single change, for the record), the prequels (yes I was at every single midnight release), the Disney purchase and subsequent annulment of the EU, and then the sequels (only TFA midnight for me that time), although I saw them all in the cinema.  And learned the true meaning of this wonderful gif by @jadedjo

So...

I started to care less about Star Wars when it became clear that the stories that were “my sequels” wouldn’t be “real sequels” for Disney, but what yanked me into fandom as I am now was my friend who was writing Rogue One fanfiction was getting harassed and flamed by people who seemed to think it was their job to police content on AO3.  I hadn’t ever even heard of AO3 but I was pissed.  Fanfic is for fun and everyone should write what they want to write!  I don’t have to like it, but I will defend anyone’s right to write whatever crazy hijinks they want Luke to get up to!  So I decided to check out this website called AO3, defend my buddy, and then I got sucked in.  I looked at everything like...nah, there can’t really be Predator/human porn (there is and some of it is ... not awful), and omg seriously Leia/Chewbacca!??  I read Sherlock and GoT and Labyrinth and all kinds of fic, I read stories by super talented writers and ultimately was convinced to write something myself. 

I had always liked writing, and now I could just indulge.  It became my primary hobby and crowded out all else...  That was back in … 2018.  I got on tumblr in 2019 and I’m still here, hanging out, sharing the Luke smut and Thrawn lust with y’all.

Thank you so much for the ask anon!  I’m happy to be in this fandom with so many wonderful people!!!  I hope I answered that question and sorry I got a little long on ya.  Just remember...

[maine-writes]

May The Von Be With Ye

"Star Wars! Star Wars!" Vonvon chanted excitedly, giddy with anticipation.

Today was a special day for Vonvon and for Star Wars fans everywhere. It was May 4th, and not just any May 4th, but Star Wars Day.

They remember being introduced to Star Wars like it was yesterday, except it was almost a couple decades into the future. They remember their father dusting off the old collector's edition. They remember the blaring anthem of the opening crawl sequence, the thrill of battle against a giant space station, and Han Solo.

Today, they plan to watch all of Star Wars, from the prequels to the sequels. Plus Clone Wars and Rebels. They'll have to resist the temptation of telling Steven and Connie about Boba Fett.

"Who's ready for an excrutiatingly long amount of time absorbing a metric ton of storyline?" Connie asked, equally as excited as Vonvon.

"I am!" Vonvon declared.

"Then, we'll end with Rise of Skywalker." Steven said.

"Despite what people said about it," Vonvon mentioned, "I was okay with it."

"You saw it already?" Connie asked. "How? It's brand new?"

"I...uh..." Vonvon uttered, begining to sweat bullets. "Wiki'd it! That's right! Wikipedia spoilers, cuz I was curious why the early watchers hated it! H-Hey, how'd you guys get into Star Wars?

"My dad introduced it to me." Connie said. "Then I introduced it to Steven."

"There's something about Darth Vader revealing that he's Luke's father that I relate to." Steven added, consciously oblivious to the haunting parallels.

"Do the Gems watch?" Vonvon inquired curiously.

"Amethyst likes Harrison Ford." Steven replied. "Apparently met him once. Pearl used to point out how it's a poor representation of space. And Garnet, she watches, I think?"

"Peridot? Lapis?" Vonvon continued.

"Peridot has a ongoing fanfic." Connie said.

"And a comic." Steven added. "And a Discord."

"Didn't she kick you off it?" Connie asked, knowing the obvious answer.

"All I'm saying is Obi-Wan deserves his own show."

"And Lapis?" the child repeated.

"She seems alright with it." Connie said, patting Steven's head. "But I don't think she's really into it into it."

Then an old memory popped into the child's head. One that has had their curiosity for years.

"Hey Connie." they began, "I heard you've been practicing the lightsaber forms."

"You are?!" starry-eyed Steven asked, surprised by his girlfriend's secret hobby.

"W-who told you?!" Connie said, flustered. "Did Pearl say something?"

"Yeah, Pearl." The child had no real idea when Connie started learning lightsaber combat, just knew that she did. One of the problems of being from the future.

"She's been helping me learn." Connie continued, "If there's one thing she likes about Star Wars, its the lightsaber combat forms. But I'm far from calling myself a Jedi."

Vonvon jumped up and scampered off downstairs. When they returned, they were carrying their duffle bag. From it, they pulled out a few lightsabers and robes.

If there is one sound that always satisfied Vonvon, it was the iconic whir of a lightsaber extending and moving. Donning a plain brown robe, they twirled their yellow lightsaber, extending out their left arm and pointing two fingers, like a horizontal V, at Connie.

"Jedi Master Vonvon, master of Form III: Soresu." said the child.

Connie and Steven picked up a blue and green one, respectively, swinging them around for fun.

"These are awesome!" Connie said. "Where'd you get them?"

"I...uh...brought them from home." Vonvon explained, forgetting that these particular models aren't available for another few years. They desperately hoped that neither of them would notice the copyright date of 2028 etched into the pommel.

Then there was a knock at the door.

"Oh hey, the Lars and the Off Colors are here." Steven said, "Seeing how they've never seen Star Wars, I thought this would be a perfect time. I mean, space Gems, Star Wars."

When he opened the door, the first to greet him was little Padparadscha.

"Wait, Darth Vader is Luke's father!?" She yelled, to the confusion of everyone else present.

"Who's Darth Vader?" one of the Rutiles wondered.

Let me guess," Lars began, "One of you mentioned the big reveal a minute ago?"

"Steven did it." Vonvon confessed.

May the Fourth Be With You!

@artsycooky13

[shadedrose01]

La Vie en Rose

Ship: Parkner (Harley Keener/Peter Parker)

Summary: Parkner, but with The Batchelor, because I said so

Tags: Febufluff, Day 13, bouquet of roses, Roses, the bachelor - Freeform, Harley is the The Bachelor, And Peter is a contestant, Bisexual Harley Keener, I love how thats not even a real tag LMAO, Bisexual Peter Parker, Love at First Sight, First Impressions, Good first impressions, First Impressions Rose, Fluff, Why Did I Write This?, The Author Regrets Everything, Boys In Love, Happily Ever After

Day 13 of Febufluff: "Bouquet of Roses"

Author Note: I'm considering writing a Flower Shop AU as an extra fic for this day if I have time. If that's something you guys want to see, let me know! :)))

--

Harley doesnt know why he decided to do this stupid show. He huffs in annoyance as his appointed hair stylist starts playing with his hair again, like the first twenty times she had done it wasn't good enough, trying not to duck away from her hands. Because that would be considered rude, seeing as he chose to be here.

On set. Surrounded by cameras. On the Batchelor, of all shows. Really, why couldn't he have signed up for Survivor, or Big Brother, or something? Why did he have to choose the one where he had to dress up, and put on an act? Why did he have to choose the show about love?

Because he's a hopeless romantic who's been alone for way too long and is started to become extremely desperate? Because he just wants to find the one for him without going through another thousand assholes and heartbreaks? Because he's just trying so hard for people who don't even want him?

His face scrunches up as he glares at the bouquet of roses placed beside him, something he's supposed to give to someone who makes the best first impression or something, ignoring the team around him as they pick at his clothing just it's just right, perfect for the cameras, perfect for his suitors, who are going to be walking through those doors right in front of him in about 2 minutes and give him plastic smile, fake personalities just as he is going to give to them. Because they dont want the��real Harley, the nerdy, clumsy guy who stumbles over his words and rambles about the things that he likes, who's normally an introvert and adores his days staying indoors with a good book and a movie, oh no no no. These people, they want the image of Harley Keener, the rich, strong, tall, perfect man who could do no wrong, and who is always romantic, always outgoing, always on.

God, why is he doing this? Why did he decide to do this? He's never going to find anyone real on here, and he's just going to get his heartbroken again, and make a fool of himself, this time it'll just be on live television for everyone in the world to see-

The producers start to count down, and the red light starts to flicker on the cameras, so Harley's plasters on a big, handsome smile, even if he has a sinking feeling in his stomach.

The first person out is a nice woman named Macy. She's pretty, kind and soft spoken, but her smile doesnt reach her eyes, and those very same eyes flicker over Harleys body way too many times as they talk, that when she finally walks away, Barley feels a little frazzled. A little objectified. He feels like he should get used to that.

After that, there's a man named Bryan and another woman named Suzie. They were  both nice people, and both easy on the eyes, but still, there wasn't a connection to either of them, they weren't what Harley was looking for. He didnt know what he was looking for, really, but it wasn't them. At least, Harley didnt know, until another man steps out after Suzie steps away.

Harley looks up, planning to plant another painful grin on to his face until he freezes, his heart stopping in his chest. Woah. His chestnut hair is slicked back, with one stray curl falling into his chocolate brown bambi looking eyes, wide and full of glee and a trace of hope, a wide smile on his face pushing up his thinner lips and lightly freckled cheeks, shining with the faintest hint of makeup. His jaw is so chiseled, and his shoulders are broad, and holy moley Harley cant breathe. He feels weak in the knees, staring at what has to be a Greek God, ethereal in his beauty, and completely missing whatever he just said.

Harley blinks down at him (he's shorter than Harley by a few inches, just his Harley likes it, god is he perfect?), knowing hes gaping at the man who's now staring back at him with a flicker of amusement in his eye, like he knew Harley didnt hear a word he just said. "Uh, I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"

Peter's grin widens, like he confirms his suspicions, and holds out his hand again. "I said," he emphases teasingly, his gorgeous, twinkling eyes full of mirth. "my name is Peter Parker. Nice to meet you."

Harley shakes himself out of his stupor, and shakes the man's hand firmly, confidently. "Harley Keener."

The twinkle in Peter's eye grows. "I know."

'Of course he would know, you're the batchelor, dipshit.' Harley berates himself, wincing a little externally, taking a deep breath and smiling sheepishly, trying to pull himself back together. "Sorry. I'm not normally like this, uh." 'Dont start rambling, dont start rambling,' "What are some things I should know about you?" Harley flinches again at the terrible wording of the phrase he was told to say, but Peter just laughs lightly, apparently taking it all in stride.

"Well," his voice is so soft and silky, and Harley is gone for him, oh no, this is so bad- "I'm 23," 'so we're the same age, that's good, cross that off the list,' "I have a bachelor of Biochemistry at MIT, and going for my Masters soon." 'smart, intelligence is sexy, another checkmark there,', "I'm a dog person, but I love all kinds of animals," 'I've always wanted a dog, check', "and I love going out, but I also enjoy indoor time, just relaxing and doing nothing." 'Check, check, and check, perfect, he's actually perfect, I don't understand, what the heck-'

"What about you?" Peter breaks through his box, still grinning that stunning, toothy grin of his, and normally, Harley would lie, say hes an outgoing guy that loves to go out on the town, say that he loves to go out on dates and go out to parties, anything to sweep them off their feet. But he doesnt want to do that with Peter, doesnt feel like he has to with Peter, so he blurts out the truth before he can think.

"Pretty much everything you said." He chuckles awkwardly, partially dropping his act as he rubs at the back of his neck. "I'm also 23, got a bachelor's in Engineering, work full time, I love animals too, and always wanted to have a dog." Peter's grin softens, turning into a warm smile as he listens that has Harley's heart warbling, making him relax even more. "I love movie days, and am pretty much a really big nerd."

Peter brights at that. "Me too! What's your favorite movie?"

Harley ponders on that for a second, while simultaneously wondering how he's gotten this lucky, 'this stupid show is actually working?' "Probably Indiana Jones, though Star Wars comes in a close second."

"Dude, I love Star Wars! Oh," Peter looks cheeky, his eyes wide and shining with excitement. "Harrison Ford fan?"

Harley can't help but to smile back, Peter's radiating positive energy infectious. "You bet. One of the best actors of our time. Who's your favorite character??"

They keep talking for a while, longer than he normally gets with the contestants, before the crew is ushering Peter away, needing to make time for the others in their busy schedule, and Harley looks over his shoulder, staring after him with warmth unfurling in his chest.

Later that night, everyone gathers together in a large room, cameras still surrounding them, for the Rose Ceremony. Instead of being nervous, uncomfortable and bitter like he was earlier, Harley is stood with his back straight and his head held up high, holding onto the bouquet of roses tightly, knowing exactly who he's going to give them to. Even as Harley meet more and more people, there was only one person that stuck into his mind like glue, filling his almost every thought.

Chris Harrison explains what will happen in the rose ceremony, how it works to the audience, before the cameras pan on to him, expectant and waiting.

Harley takes a deep breath, knowing hes probably going to get some shit for this, but deciding he doesnt really care all that much. "You are all amazing, wonderful people who made good impressions on me. But there was only one person that made me feel relaxed, like I could be myself, and that stuck in my mind for the rest of the night. So, Peter Parker, I give you the First Impressions Rose."

Peter's face lights up as he makes his way to the front, ignore the grumbled or disgusted looks coming from the other contestants, his eyes full of shock, like he didnt expect to get it, and so much gratitude it practically knocks Harley off his feet. Peter gently takes the flowers with a small, quiet "Thank you," his gaze giving away every emotion that his words can't.

"Of course," Harley murmurs back, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before he turns away again, grinning as he sees the crew start to panic from behind the cameras. Peter flushes so prettily, giving him one last, soft, beautiful smile before turning and walking back to his spot, joy radiating off of him in waves.

Harley just watches him gently, his entire face soft, before he wipes the expression away and goes back to the regularly scheduled program, getting ready to pass out the other roses. But even as he does, he feels Peter's gaze on him, following his every movement, and feels giddy, hopeful, finally feeling like something good is going  to come out of this.

Harley doesn't know it yet, but he ends up proposing to Peter in the finale. They get married a few months later, and go on to become the longest lasting couples in the show's history.

[mswyrr]

re: people coming by my reylo posts with their “critique“ of TROS

First, there’s nothing reasonable about hunting down my popular sexy femdom headcanons post and demanding that the person who made it--who was clearly just trying to have fun, and >2k people found it fun--needs to write a thesis defending her enjoyment of something. That’s entitled bs.

But since we’re here... I’m writing this for any followers who are interested and for all future people who come with the more “polite” boundary crossing bs. So I have a convenient link where, sure, I’ll explain myself (*once* - I am not starting a discussion here).

Literally everything about TROS was badly written. Including the handling of Ben’s redemption (though the actors did a lot to help a trash script and the moment between Harrison Ford and Adam Driver and the kiss are both well done... because there’s little to no TROS original dialogue to ruin things) and the way they chose to write some parts of the Reylo dynamic.

That isn’t the fault of shippers. We’re the first to point this shit out.

Except that it’s used as reason to tell us to fucking kill ourselves and that we deserve to be raped then, well - would *you* want to explain yourself to everyone who came to your properly tagged fun posts just to poke at you in that context?

TROS is unnecessary to canon Reylo: the romance was clear in TLJ to anyone paying attention. It’s a gorgeous movie and well done. By an Oscar nominated writer/director. Rey is clearly tempted to take his hand in the throne room scene. I don’t need TROS to have her explicitly say “I wanted to take your hand.” I knew that already. It just confirms what is *blatantly obvious*.

Rian filmed a deleted scene where Luke outright said she was tempted by Ben’s “pair of pretty eyes.” Rian called the hand touch (which, like the kiss in TROS, REY initiated!!) “the closest thing to sex” you’ll see in Star Wars. Ben is clearly framed as an object of desire--shirtless scene! Pouty lips, tearful vulnerable soft eyes, etc. She stands up for him to Luke and Snoke, tracks him down at great risk and demands he change his life and come with her.

Rey wants Ben in TLJ.

I don’t need TROS to confirm that - I have a basic sense of good writing. And a heroine having an actual temptation she turns down is good writing - as is Ben representing all her suppressed rage at authority figures, which is confirmed in Rian’s (excellent) interviews and commentaries on what he was trying to do with Jungian psychology.

A heroine of equal power in all ways to her antagonist facing challenges and temptations is interesting. The anti narrative where she’s not making any decisions for herself, manipulated the entire movie, and then fleeing from Ben “her abuser” like a Lifetime movie--and claiming the shirtless scene is “abuse” and other utterly disingenuous readings--is bloody insult imposed on TLJ by people who couldn’t stand the fact that Rian went about depicting Rey having a complex range of emotions and desires and a dark side.

It’s OOC and an insult to Rey to depict Ben as some kind of master manipulator and every decision in TLJ as his manipulations. It’s sexist and infantalizing.

Once you erase her suppressed rage at authority figures and her sexual desire for Ben you cut her apart as a character and make your reading of TLJ utterly unsuited to what the writing was actually intending.

Reylo has been canon since TLJ. The fact that antis in the hundreds collectively harassed women talking about the clear, canonical textual indications off the internet doesn’t make their analysis less true.

And since there are people saying the kiss was Rey just being “confused” and saying “thank you” - you can see that even explicit confirmation would never be recognized by some people.

The writing on TROS was crap: I’m doing what fans of practically every single ship ever have done, which is take the parts that work and leave the rest. It’s called transformative fandom. It’s what you DO when media is owned by monopolies and you have no control but enjoy parts of what they’re doing.

This is not new information.

The idea that any shipper should be held responsible for canon--instead of understood to be enjoying it in a transformative way--is nothing but an anti excuse to justify why we should be harassed for the mistakes and shitty writing choices of Disney/Lucasfilm.

Send Disney/Lucasfilm complaints via letter or email. Start a petition. Make (polite) phone calls to them. Do what you’ve gotta do. Don’t come to me as the complaint department and assume women owe you a thesis upon demand justifying in-depth our textual readings... when you’re replying to a freaking f3mdom headcanon fun post. 

[charlotteisnotthechosenone]

Star Wars Ramblings #2 - The Princess Diarist

When the book came out in 2016 it was on my radar but having never seen the Star Wars films I didn’t feel particularly compelled to pick it up then. After absolutely falling in love with the films however, this book shot straight to the top of my TBR. Reading it now, after her death, added such a different, heartbreaking perspective to this book, particularly in the final chapters.

The book is split into three sections. Both the first and last sections were written at the time of the book’s release while the middle section is a series of excerpts from a diary Carrie kept while filming A New Hope. What I particularly loved about this book was that, throughout, it had me forming thoughts/questions/opinions which would vary so greatly from one chapter to the next. It was also written with such beautiful style. It had me laughing out loud at point and tearing up at others - it really did have an emotional grip on me. 

Yes the book does have a heavy focus on the affair between Carrie and her co-star Harrison Ford. I had read reviews online before picking this book up where people weren’t super happy with the way in which this book took this direction however this was naturally a significant event for a her and what 19 year old doesn’t spend time musing about the guy she has a crush on? Before picking up the book I knew absolutely next to nothing about the situation/circumstances surrounding their affair. My brain was constantly at war with itself over how I felt about it. I think I speak for a lot of fans of movies/TV shows when I say that you always wish that there was more for your favourite on-screen couples, other than what the audience are shown, but writing such as this does require you to try and remove that vision from your mind. I think it is the way in which Carrie writes about the affair that caused my opinon to flip and flop so much. Carrie’s writing style is extraordinary. When writing in 2016, the pages are full of such wit and charm and there were passages that did make me very much smile in an odd sort of way. The humour that was laced into the descriptions of their time together played right into the hands of any Star Wars fan with references to ‘cinematic snogs’ and the making of sequels ‘with her future cinematic husband’. There are also brief insights into their interractions on set where she describes ‘ducking down’ her ’bun-encased head’ or ‘grazing a powdered forehead to his smuggler’s jacket’ which are likely to warm the hearts of many who view Han and Leia as their one true pairing. 

The charm with which she writes however in no way detracts from the situation at hand. This book is filled with such brutal truth and honesty and this is particularly evident when reading the diary excerpts in the middle of the book. At times these defintely made for uncomfortable reading. Any way in which your heart might have been lifted slightly in previous sections through her comparisons to Han and Leia are totally shattered here. These passages are both so raw and painful in parts. Knowing the difficulty she faced in trying to escape her own thoughts and mind and knowing that the pages of this diary were the only outpouring for this made you really feel for her. She was a young girl who, through age and inexperience, had gotten in over her head. It is incredibly difficult not to resent Harrison, in this section, for not reciprocating these feelings she had developed for him. If I had read only this section of the book I would have definitely settled upon a very negative view of their affair. 

The unsettling nature of this book however did not end there. What caused a lot of my emotional attachment was the opening few chapters. Here she described a number of uncomfortable situations she had found herself in, within the film industry, prior to the filming of Star Wars. This made me absolutely loathe what I knew would be coming later in the book re the affair. I was honestly livid at the thought of the potential situations that would play out later in the book between herself and Harrison but what I had to stop and tell myself was that we were being offered an insight into her past that he may have potentially not been afforded. I instead decided to try and reserve all judgement on the situation until I had amassed all of the facts. How can you blame someone for being unaware of situations they potentially knew very little about? 

I am unfortunately aware that off-screen affairs were much more prevalent at this time. This is highlighted particularly in an extremely uncomfortable anecdote in which Carrie describes being at a party held for director, George Lucas, in which a number of male members of the film crew attempt to take advantage of her after supplying her with alcohol. They are not however the only ones that appear to have their sights set on her. Aware of the situation, Harrison steps in, only to make his own move on her very soon after in the back of a taxi. It is this move which kickstarted their months long affair. 

Bringing you back into the present however Carrie does an excellent job of putting the entire situation into perspective. It was in the section, entitled ’40 years on’ that put to rest the two waring sides of my brain. Carrie describes their affair as ‘a brief thrilling liaison that I would eventually camly walk away from smiling and sophisticated’. This quote was one that comforted me most to read. Of course, there are few hard feelings between them now but this quote was also incredibly reassuring to know that, yes, this affair happened but it by no means completely destroyed any friendships/relationships that had been built up between the pair. 

This may be controversial but I believe that their affair may have served to enhance their portrayal of their characters on screen. Not only in the physical sense but in the emotional sense too. At the start of the book Harrison is described as being rather quiet and withdrawn towards Carrie until he is involved in ‘saving her’ from the situation at the party. By this later section he is described as being incredibly decent. This memoir isn’t one, I believe of good and bad guys. Although heavily focused on the affair I think it is told in a way that almost makes it feel like a story. It far from feels like it is being told in a way that resembled whispered gossip, trying to inflict blame on one party or another. Carrie certainly doesn’t resent Harrison over what happened and even asks readers to try and feel sorry for him. 

I do believe that the story of their relationship is a little tragic and we will all be left to wonder if this had happened in a different place, time and under different circumstances would something have come of it? Or maybe would it have not counted ‘all that much’ she writes ‘because of how short I am’. 

[m-oana-archive]

tagged by the lovely, hilarious bri @czynchs

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? 2

describe yourself in a hashtag? #taylorswiftwasright

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? this question is inappropriate young Harrison Ford

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? sorry for the country music 

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? most people aren’t aware that I struggle from social anxiety 

what’s your wake up ritual? let out my doggie, shower (sometimes), get ready, make breakfast & coffee, and go to class 

what’s your go to bed ritual? shower if I hadn’t, go on TikTok/Tumblr or read, set an alarm, remember embarrassing things that happened a long time ago, almost fall asleep but then get anxious about my alarm not working, check my alarm, go to bed

what’s your favorite time of day? I LOVE mornings, like 10 AM, delicious  

your go to for having a good laugh? John Mulaney specials :) 

dream country to visit? England or Greece 

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? getting tickets to Taylor’s Red tour for my birthday 

heels or flats/sneakers? sneakers babey 

vintage or new? vintage!

who do you want to write your obituary? someone who knows absolutely nothing about me for a good surprise factor

style icon? honestly every girl in the English and Dance departments at my school, they’re thriving 

what are three things you cannot live without? music, books, something to write with 

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? pepper (I KNOW it’s not a *spice* but I do be loving pepper)

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? Taylor Swift, Toni Morrison, Maggie Steifvater 

what’s your biggest fear in life? never being loved

window or aisle seat? window!!!  always window 

what’s your current tv obsession? Merlin! (which is the biggest queerbait I’ve ever seen, Merlin and Arthur are in love I will NOT be taking critiques at the moment) 

favorite app? Tumblr, tho it is a shitshow

secret talent? I can make up random facts on the spot and say them convincingly enough people believe me

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? go to school out of state 

how would you define yourself in three words? positive, empathetic, liberal

favorite piece of clothing you own? this yellow/pink/grey floral sundress I have that has POCKETS 

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? comfy shoes that are also stylish 

a superpower you would want? being able to never stub my toes again 

what’s inspiring you in life right now? rereading old books 

best piece of advice you’ve received? you can’t just write your feelings into a journal, you have to talk to people, too 

best advice you’d give your teenage self? it’s going to be okay!!!

a book everyone should read? Beloved by Toni Morrison 

what would you like to be remembered for? dismantling the system 

how do you define beauty? intelligence, passion, empathy and any guy with curly brown hair and glasses that plays the guitar 

what do you love most about your body? it works!!!!  Which I am so so so grateful for!!!!  I also have always liked my collarbones 

best way to take a rest/decompress? a sweet treat while watching a comedy special 

favorite place to view art? I’m a fan of bookstores 

if your life was a song, what would the title be? She Wants To Be In Love (Again) 

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? guitar 

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? a solar system down my back a solar system down my back a solar system down my back a solar system down

dolphins or koalas? dolphins but only because I love whales and they’re closer to whales than koalas

what’s an animal that represents you? golden retriever 

best gift you’ve ever received? fucking friendship my dude.  That shit is good

best gift you’ve given? I gave my sister an avocado once 

what’s your favorite board game? SO MANY!!!!  But mainly Avalon and Villainous 

what’s your favorite color? pink, baby blue, yellow

least favorite color? I’m not a big fan of green 

diamond or pearls? diamonds (but not clear) 

drugstore makeup or designer? it depends on the product 

pilates or yoga? yoga

coffee or tea? coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee!!!!!! 

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? any words that are janus’ (words that mean their own opposite) 

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? dark, 60% or above pls 

stairs or elevators? stairs for less than 3 floors, elevators for all else

summer or winter? winter

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? pasta 

a dessert you don’t like? flan 

a skill you’re working on mastering? loving myself the same way I love other people 

best thing to happen to you today? I took a three hour nap that really really slapped, also I might be able to use my TA position to waive a requirement for my minor which is great 

worst thing to happen to you today? my inability to fall asleep until 3 AM this morning 

best compliment you’ve ever received? that I made someone want to be a better version of themself

favorite smell? pink sands from Yankee Candle, freshly baked bread, freshly brewed coffee, old books

hugs or kisses? HUGSSSS!!!!!  

if you made a documentary, would it be about? poetry 

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? my reread of RWRB 

lipstick or lipgloss? lipgloss

sweet or savory? sweet 

girl crush? Taylor Swift 

how do you know you’re in love? when I make excuses for the person because I want everyone to see them as good 

a song you can listen to on repeat? "There’s Still A Light in the House” by Valley 

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? Matthew Gray Gubler (I WANT THAT KIMONO COLLECTION) 

what are you most excited for/about this time in your life? to get the results on getting into my major and to see if I got the job I applied for 

tagging @siriuslyimmoony @beskarjedi @finnofamerica @carolinesbookworld @swellwriting @woakiees @theboywhocriedlupin

[kindredsoulsoftimesofold]

Incoming TROS rant

yes, there will be spoilers as I will be breaking down everything I saw tonight. If I manage to type choking on my tears well after the movie finished.

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FINAL WARNING IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILERS

Let’s start with a few opening words, this rant will indeed be a long one.

ALL THE LEAKS ARE TRUE. And I mean ALL of them. To a T. As soon as I saw the first half was exactly as I’d read, I was crushed. As I knew what was coming. On that note, i was probably the only person in the theatre who was crying like 15-20 minutes before we were supposed to, I’ll get to that in a bit. I’m saving the WORST for last. Let’s break this shit down.

1. The plot is a mess. An actual mess. I feel like every five minutes I was shaking my head and mumbling ‘what kind of nonsense is this’. The breaking of lore or COMMON SENSE really is substantial. But that is definitely not what I cared about, as I already KNEW this even without the leaks. When you can’t get your two directors to FUCKING WORK TOGETHER TO MAKE A COHESIVE STORYLINE it is bound to grasp for straws and make shit up. IT AIN’T NOTHING NEW.

2. Here’s the kicker. THE DIALOGUE WAS SO BAD, it makes Anakin’s AOTC speech seem like a hymn, or poetry or whatever. They CONSTANTLY say what they’re doing, they’re literally reciting the exposition to each other and it comes off as extremely annoying and makes you feel like a toddler. No hate against toddlers, but I’d rather not be one right now. It feels unnatural, forced and STUPID to the point where I would start WISHING for 3PO to come back on screen because Anthony Daniels somehow managed to snag some actually decent lines for once? I love the man, but the droid usually really annoys the crap outta me. He was literally the highlight of the film. Don’t get me started on the stupidity of all of Lando’s lines, poor Billy. Daisy has to stare angrily most of the time so I don’t really care to recall her lines. Adam, my dear Adam, he tries SO HARD to make do with what he was given but even his lines 90% of the time come off as stupid and out of place. Or the worst type in this movie, EXPOSITIONYY. Don’t get me started on Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford. Boys looked like they didn’t sign up for this shit and were literally force choked to be there. I feel you guys, I feel you. ALSO FOR THE LOVE OF THE FORCE THE TIMES THEY REPEATED WORD FOR WORD LINES FROM OTHER MOVIES I WANTED TO SCREAM. Once is too much, THIS MANY TIMES IT IS A FELONY. And it needs to be punished somehow.

3. Let’s get the positives out of the way because there were FEW. The two scenes I actually REALLY enjoyed watching, for different reasons were:

Ben and Palps meeting. The scene was much longer than the clip and SUPER badass. Sheev’s voice echoes, Ben looks fucking cool and the whole scene is GORGEOUS.

The other is when Ben fights as a Jedi in the end. I’ll get to Ben later BELIEVE ME but without overexplaining, he fights with Anakin’s lightsabre, he’s really speedy and is doing all the Jedi spins and whatnot. I fucking ATE THAT UP. Replay that scene forever please CAUSE I LOVED IT. But I was already crying here so we’ll touch more on that later.

To conclude this segment, the visuals were SUPERB, the sound was AMAZING and (some) of the fights were jaw droppingly cool. But that about concludes the positives!

4. I will comment, as I know a lot of people will care even if I don’t particularily. Finn, Poe, Rose and the merry gang aside from our Jedi are reduced to EH this movie. If you thought you’d never miss Rose boy were you wrong. They introduce new characters and expect you to care about them when they SIDELINED the ones they’d hoped you’d care about BEFORE. And it made me care about NO ONE. Not to mention that, sadly, they are ALWAYS reduced to the boring side plot that really isn’t interested or key to much of ANYTHING. Sure they roused the people and all but would’ve been TOAST if Rey didn’t go all Jesus on the fleet. So at the end of the day, you MAY find some enjoyment with the side characters but their lines were some of the worst, you WILL be force fed new people and you might not really enjoy your previous faves here because even I found myself being completely indifferent this time. (I actually really ENJOYED Finn since TFA. He had a compelling storyline and John Boyega was alright. Couldn’t give two wits about him in this movie. Not a single one. But again, I may not be the perfect person to ask if you really,really like any of these characters.

5. Finally, we have arrived to the main event. THE REYLO.

The backbone of this clusterfuck of a new trilogy. The last Skywalker and Palpatine, coming together instead of apart. The arguably BEST actors (legacies aside) Disney managed to get. Now, I will start this off that I didn’t HATE Rey before this movie. I loved her in TFA, enjoyed her less in TLJ but the novelization fixed that. I was BACK ON BOARD to be her number one stan. In this movie, I couldn’t STAND her. Her lines are basically the director walking you through things, her plotline was obviously made last minute so almost none of it makes sense,  I literally wanted to curl up and DIE from cringing so hard every time someone said ‘you’re a Palpatine’. I thought I was looking at a very expensive rendition of terrible fan fiction. (Not to diss fan fiction in any way, you guys will be my heroes after this catastrophe.) ‘Empress Palpatine’, COME THE FUCK ON AND GET OUT WITH THIS SHIT. Bring back crusty old Snoke for crying out loud! Or even HUX! Who got killed off in a second and had three lines of dialogue, not important I guess? Like a great many things I guess, JJ. But, EVEN Palpatine aside, it was great seeing him again and every scene he was in I got chills, who cares that it makes zero sense at this point. Back to reylo.

Ben. Ben Solo Organa Skywalker. The last hope. The final remnant of something I have loved FOREVER. I grew up with Star Wars, like many others just in a different, post prequel era and they are still my favourites. This might sound ridiculous but Star Wars was part of my heart, my happiness. It brought me joy to watch it, read it, fantasize about it and have it in my life when times were dark or miserable. It MEANT something to me, as I am sure many of you will agree. And Ben was part of that. He was part of something that MEANT something to all of us. He was the last line of the characters we all grew up with and loved. The GRANDSON of Anakin, my favourite character of all time. This was their chance to stop the trend that Loki’s death in IW and Daenerys’ death and turn and many others started and STOP killing people who did wrongs. PEOPLE can change, they can grow and they can learn. Hell, to not stray to far from this franchise REY has killed A LOT of people in this movie alone. She DECIMATES the room full of Palpatine’s followers and never blinks an eye. SHE NEARLY KILLS CHEWIE, DOES KILL BEN (for a minute) and SHE DOESN’T NEED TO DIE. Of course she doesn’t but BEN DOESN’T EITHER. After all that YOU JJ, YES YOU, show me that the LAST SKYWALKER has gone through, suffered, alone and frightened. I would’ve ENDED you if you’d suggested killing him off to me, EVER. He was your chance to do a reverse Vader, AS YOU CLAIMED YOU WOULD. To show a character can come back to the light and be worthy of it WITHOUT DYING. You even set it up as such, which is my next and CRUCIAL POINT.

I’ve been a reylo since 2015. Their dynamic has always been fascinating to me and beautiful. I LOVED all the moments in TLJ, LOVED THEM. In this one, every time they force bond (terrible dialogue aside, again) I was happy. I had a hope that she would bring him back from the darkness and he will keep her balanced. WELL, JJ, guess fuck me huh? And anyone with common sense and human decency. JUST WHEN you shove Ben’s turn in my face, you make him talk to Han, you make him strut in to fight alongside Rey in full Ben Solo Jedi mode, hair blown and casually dressed. It was when he runs onto Exegol that I started weeping. Because knowing that he dies as I did, it broke my heart how it was done. You give me the scene where he fights and you give me hope of what his future could’ve been if only you’d listened to reason and done what was supposed to be done. He is chucked into the pit, WHICH MIGHT I ADD WOULD’VE MADE ME MAD IF THAT WAS HIS END BUT WOULD’VE BEEN SOOOO MUCH BETTER THAN WHAT WE GOT, comes back. And now comes the scene that cemented this as the ABSOLUTE WORST insult to me as a fan, possible. Ben is heartbroken that Rey is dead, the moment is sad and he cradles her dead body and hugs her desperately. Which would’ve been a beautiful and GOOD DIFFERENT type of ending. Or rather not having her die at all and being NEAR her death and him saving her and both living happily ever after BUT NO. JJ AFTER THAT has her come back, smile happily when she sees it’s him, her love her hope and the other half of her SOUL literally (the diad or whatever it’s called is so rare that Palpatine was thrilled they’d formed such a bond, basically space soulmates), he has them kiss, then hold each other and smile at each other with genuine feeling of joy and belonging both of them had sought all their life AND THEN YANKS IT FROM UNDER YOU. The scene where Ben falls flat onto his back is quite comical and I couldn’t help but laugh in my misery and sobbing. Rey doesn’t even cry, we don’t even LINGER on his body or mourn him afterwards or even mention it or EVEN SEE her, THE PERSON WHO LITERALLY FOUND HER SOULMATE AND WAS SO HAPPY WHEN SHE KISSED HIM AND WAS LITERALLY SAVED BY HIM, but no guess that doesn’t require a scene, sure, fuck it LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE. The cheery music that plays up until the moment of his fall, YES THE FALL OF SKYWALKER MIND YOU NOT A FUCKING RISE, was an insult to every fan everyhwere, lifelong or recent or otherwise, it was a punch to the gut, a slap in the face and after this happened I no longer paid attention to the movie. I’d been crying for some time leading up to the moment, I knew what was coming and the execution only made it worse and a more desperate cry rather than only sad, I was hoping it wouldn’t happen somehow. I choked back tears until I finally got home and cried. One of the things which MEANT so much to me, was dead. I no longer have any doubts, that this was intentional. Look at Game of thrones, that was this year. It seemed intentional to make series stop, right? Everyone agrees. They wanted to finally bury the Skywalkers so they could make something unrelated? They kill off all the Skywalkers. Well guess what disney? YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO BRING THEM BACK IN THE FIRST PLACE, YOU MONEY HUNGRY PIECE OF SHIT. No one would have minded a new trilogy, with new characters doing NEW things. Why even drag the Skywalkers and the leagies into this if YOU DON’T WANT THEM HERE? All you got was millions of lifelong fans of the old movies who have already felt or are only now beginning to feel BETRAYED. I swear it disney, I don’t want to feel this misery again. You won’t take Star Wars away from me and the joy it brought me. I will without a care in the world dismiss this new trilogy as something completely separate from canon. You’ve killed your own fanbase. You could’ve had us but you LOST us. You dangled something we wanted in front of us for our money and then you ripped it apart.

If you are anything like me, anything like me at all and have loved SW for however long. if it MEANS ANYTHING TO YOU, I beg you not to see this movie or at the very least, pay for it. You WILL feel betrayed, insulted, heartbroken, devastated and miserable, as I am feeling right now. I was supposed to go see this movie another two times but i cannot and will not spend another CENT on a company that chooses to alienate me. Fine, have it your way. I’m done.

This concludes my rant as I am tired and upset. If I missed out on anything and you are interested in anything else, please do DM me or leave a comment :) We’re all in this together now, the reylos the antis the new fans and the old. We’re all in the same heartbreaking boat, I love you all. And I will love Star Wars. The REAL Star Wars forever. I wasn’t even sad the ‘FRANCHISE’ was ending because it wasn’t. It had ended a long, long time ago.

[benisasoftboi]

In Which I Explain The Entirety of Star Wars, Despite Being Very Much Unqualified To Do So

I have only seen one Star Wars movie - it was The Last Jedi. I saw it, with no context, two years ago in theatres when it first came out. I was very surprised to find out that it made a lot of people very angry, because I quite liked it, as did the friends I saw it with. I can’t say I remember much though.

All the rest of my Star Wars knowledge comes from its generally inescapable nature in the pop cultural zeitgeist. I might have seen a bit of Episode 6, which I don’t know the name of, when I was round a friend’s house once, but I was very tired, and it was about a decade ago anyway.

That’s just some context for my lack of qualifications to do this. My friend said I should still do it anyway. I will not be looking anything up as I write this, so all spelling mistakes and other general errors are mine. 

So anyway - The Entirety of Star Wars:

Original Trilogy 

There is a guy called Luke. He is played by Mark Hamill and he is George Lucas’s self insert. He lives on a planet where there is only sand, because in this universe all planets have only one terrain, I think. He drinks milk. The milk might be blue.

A guy played by Liam Neeson finds Luke. I think this guy’s name is probably Obi Wan Kenobi, but I might have that wrong. At some point he will die tragically and it will be formative for Luke, but then he will also come back as a ghost. Ghosts exist in this universe. 

Possibly Luke has known this guy for a long time or possibly he is a stranger, I am not sure. Somehow they end up on a spaceship.

Luke needs to learn how to use magic powers called the Force, which seems to be mostly telekinesis, and also lets him use a really fancy but probably impractical sword called a lightsaber that shoots blue or sometimes green or sometimes red light. This is called Jedi training. Jedi Knight is a religion. You can claim to be one on the census in the real world. They seem to be really serious people despite having a silly name.

Everyone also has guns that go ‘pew pew pew’ and nerds get really mad when you make fun of that.

Luke will meet many colourful and interesting people on his journey. These include:

A woman played by Carrie Fisher who is also his twin sister but he doesn’t know that until after they kiss. Her name is Leia or maybe Laia. She has silly hair. At one point she wears a slave bikini because she’s enslaved to a gelatinous blob because that’s just how it goes when you’re the woman in a 70s sci-fi movie

A guy called Han Solo because he is Edgy and Does Things Solo. He and Leia have a romance and it’s Drama. He also has a spaceship that people will build very impressive lego replicas of. He dresses like a cowboy. I’m 90% that he is played by Harrison Ford

A bunch of walking teddy bears called Ewoks who can kill you and live in a jungle

A guy called Lando Calrissian who I think wears fancy clothes and that’s all I know about him, he might actually be a villain I’m not sure. He might die?

A little blue robot who hid behind some rocks one time and then in the re-release he hid behind more rocks than before and the fans got Mad

A big gold robot who is nervous and gay and might be gay for the little blue robot, like they might be married but that also might be a meme I’m not certain

A weird green goblin thing called Yoda who makes Luke carry him around and speaks in broken English that annoying people have spent the last thirty years imitating. He dies, but then is a ghost so it doesn’t matter really

A guy called Boba Fett who is a bounty hunter. I genuinely have no clue how he fits in to all of this. He might not actually be from Star Wars, maybe I’m mixing him up with something else. 

Luke is also trying to fight the Evil Darth Vader who works for an Evil CGI Emperor of the Evil Empire. They live on a big spaceship called the Death Star and it looks like a moon but isn’t and people think it’s funny when you point that out for some reason. They are the Dark Side, which makes them easy to root against because they’re just cartoonishly evil I guess. I think they are also bureaucrats. They have Stormtroopers, who might be brainwashed people or might just be robots, or might even be clones. They all wear identical white armour with helmets so people don’t care when they get shot. Kinda like fencers.

Darth Vader is actually Luke’s father and this is a twist except not anymore. This means he is also Leia’s father, I’m not sure if she knew. Also Luke loses his arm. Darth Vader gets redeemed and then dies but also takes down the Evil CGI Emperor with him.

I don’t know what happens in any of the movies, but I know that the first one ends with them getting plans for or from Leia, not sure, the second one has the dad twist, and the third one has ghosts. Also they blow up the Death Star by shooting a garbage chute really hard. 

Prequels

These movies are widely disliked. The first one has too much bureaucracy. They are about Darth Vader’s backstory. He used to be a guy called Anakin. He will Become Evil. He will also meet many colourful characters. They include:

His love interest, who is called Padme. She wears a silly hat and dies of a combination of Childbirth and Sadness. I saw this bit happen one time when I was a kid and I was stuck round my mum’s friend’s house and her son was playing through this part in the LEGO game. It was sad

A guy with a red face whose name might be Maul and has robot legs? 

A guy called Jar Jar Binks who everyone seems to simultaneously hate and feel a desperate need to make sex jokes about 

Angry Jedi People

Probably some robots

Anakin hates sand and is pretty but grumpy. His hatred of sand is what will prevent him from finding Luke in the original movies. He falls in a volcano and gets turned into a robot man and it’s very dramatic. He has an angry red lightsaber. He murders a bunch of children by executing Order 66. Or maybe that was in the first set of movies I don’t know. I’m not sure how they made three of these movies, there doesn’t seem to be much to them.

Also there is something called ‘mitoclorians’ and I don’t know what they are but they make nerds Very Mad.

Expanded Universe

There was an expanded universe, but Disney said it wasn’t canon when they bought the rights, so now it isn’t. If I were a Star Wars fan, I would not take this lying down, because what right does Disney have to say what’s canon? Why is it up to the copyright holders? They are a corporation, not a writer. Expanded universes are always really fun and full of wacky nonsense that would never get put in the mainline stuff. I don’t like it when people try to dismiss them. 

Stand Alone Movies

When the new trilogy started, they also made some stand alone films. They were called Rogue One and Solo. Rogue One is about a woman named Gin or Jinn or Jin or Ginne or - I wish I hadn’t restricted myself to not looking anything up - Urso. The spelling doesn’t matter because she dies. So does everyone else. Then Darth Vader shows up.

Solo is about Han Solo and his friends and they have an adventure and there’s a robot who wants robot rights but she dies so no one has to address the slavery thing. Also apparently it was going to be a comedy but got reshot as a drama. I hope I never watch it because that sounds terrible, even as much as I like Donald Glover who I think is in it probably. I think his character might have been in love with the dead robot.

Sequel Trilogy

These movies are about a girl called Rey. She makes nerds mad by existing and being the protagonist. She is Space British. She is a scavenger and is friends with a really cute little orange robot. Somehow she ends up in space. She starts hanging out with Older Leia’s crew, which include a pilot named Poe Dameron and a guy called Finn, but I don’t know why he’s there. People ship them with each other, and also with Rey. 

The other person people ship Rey with is Kylo Ren, who I call Space Zuko because when I saw The Last Jedi, he showed up and I was like ‘oh, it’s Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender but in space’, because he has bad hair and is angry about his Daddy Issues. I hope in the next movie he gets better hair and fewer Daddy Issues like Real Zuko did. A lot of people get really angry about Rey and Space Zuko being shipped together, but they’re still the most popular ship on AO3. So no matter what happens in the next one, nerds are going to be mad about it, and I am not looking forward to it.

Kylo Ren killed his dad, Han Solo, because he was radicalised to be evil for reasons I don’t know. The guy who runs the New Evil Group, which is called the First Order, is an ugly CGI guy called Snoke. It was apparently a Big Twist that Kylo kills him Last Jedi, and it made nerds really mad. I don’t understand why people were surprised, because when I saw the movie, I saw that guy and was like ‘oh he’s gonna get killed by Space Zuko because that would be Drama and also from a production standpoint having a guy who needs lots of special effects is much more difficult than just having Adam Driver wear a scary mask’ and then I was right so maybe I’m smarter than all the nerds. 

There is also a guy called Hux and he is a ginger. I think he is evil.

The other thing people got really mad about was that Rey’s parents were not established characters. People wanted her dad to be Luke, I think, who is in Last Jedi. I was happy about this because I like Mark Hamill. He spent the movie teaching her about the force while they hang out on an island with a race of merchandising opportunities called Porgs. He dies at the end but he might be in the next one as a ghost anyway. 

Also there was a girl called Rose and people decided that not liking the character meant they could be mean to the actress, which is not true and everyone who was mean to her should be ashamed. There was another woman as well, but I don’t remember her name, she had purple hair and was serious and I have no idea if she was good or evil. 

Kylo Ren’s real name is Ben which is not very sci-fi. Maybe that’s why he changed it.

Though come to think, Luke isn’t a very sci-fi name either. 

Anyway, that’s everything I know about Star Wars.

Feel free to ask me questions about Star Wars and have me try to answer.

Do not, under any circumstances, try to actually explain Star Wars to me. I’m much happier as is, thank you very much