#i must have seen it in a movie or something

[stripe-conlon]

To add to this, it’s a very…Lancastrian Christian view to see “god commanded me to love you” and following through with it as a good thing. I won’t say it’s American fundamentalism as a whole (although continued ticket sales at Sight & Sound, their expansion to Branson, MO, and their recent foray into actual movies instead of filmed stage shows speaks for itself) but it’s definitely very Lancaster County.

can’t remember what particular flavour of Christian fundamentalism the owners of Sight & Sound are, but they did grow up and found their theatre in a heavily Mennonite and Amish area. It’s a very heavy Mennonite and Amish area and those views, twisted with fundamentalism, are obvious in every Sight & Sound production, even their lighthearted “history of Christmas music and celebration” style show. Doing the will of God, in the eyes of the owners and their creative teams, must always be presented positively and as if you do personally like doing it.

In Esther and…I think also in Ruth (or maybe Moses?) there are times when one of the Hebrew characters talks about not liking God’s will but it’s always played for laughs. It’s something I’ve always fundamentally disagreed with and felt uncomfortable seeing in their productions. And thanks to my uncle working there, I’ve seen a lot of the shows. Esther, I think, was the first time I’d seen a character express fear over their situation and that was a massive development over how they previously wrote their protagonists as firm, resolute, and confident in doing God’s will. But even her fear felt inhumanly confident compared to, for example, Thor’s clear moment of doubt, looking at his hammer, in the Avengers after he fell from the Helicarier. Sight & Sound’s biblical heroes, frankly, aren’t human and aren’t relatable, unlike the people they’re meant to represent. And that is an intentional choice by Sight & Sound, fueled by Christian Fundamentalism.

I know in another post you mentioned how the actor made that line sound like hatred, I can tell you with confidence that it was the actor’s choice and he would have gotten a note about not doing it again after the show.

Drew a scene from the Daniel musical but added a more angsty tone. This moment in the musical is meant to be seen as: 'Aww, look! God is making Daniel love the king despite everything he’s done to him, and he even cares about the king! Isn’t this wholesome?'

But I’m sitting here thinking: 'THAT'S NOT CUTE AT ALL!'

Also, this is not King Darius, it’s the first king that Daniel served, King Nebuchadnezzar (they kinda look the same at the moment).

[newtkelly]

Not to word vomit on you but I can't stop thinking about Oliver wanting a love story like Tarlos and how it all accidentally lined up.

Knowing that Carlos and TK were about to move in, and then Carlos made that romantic gesture and TK got scared because it was, "too good to be true."

Carlos is left, confused, puzzled and nursing a broken-heart but still just as in love. What do you mean that TK and Carlos saw a future together, one got scared at that prospect and left before Carlos was the one to leave??

What do you mean that happened after Oliver said he wanted Bucktommy to have a love story like Tarlos; where it was always going to be them?

Then you consider Oliver saying that we might see Tommy and Buck interact during a call and it'll be awkward and who can't help but think of TK and Carlos running into the furniture store and seeing each other for the first time in weeks.

Anyways, sorry to be delusional in your ask box. I'm deep within the Tarlos trenches so this is all starting to look eerily familiar lmao (it could also be Tim is out of ideas, which is most likely the case)

Please feel free to word vomit on me always, I live for it.

Receiving this ask has actually prompted me to share some thoughts that I’ve held back from sharing, just because I wasn’t sure if it was worth it to throw more speculation into the void. But this message is so lovely, and I agree with it so much and so… okay I will share some of my mixed bag of thoughts about this whole situation.

Firstly, I adore Tarlos and LS (even if I don’t post about either much), TK is my baby, and the interesting thing about them for me is that I wound up caring for them more AFTER they broke up and got back together. If Buck and Tommy’s story is formatted as a rom-com, TK and Carlos are a tragicomedy. TK, the heartbroken recovering addict thrust into an entirely new city, a new career, who doesn’t want to let himself get too close to something good because he is misery incarnate. Carlos, the hopeful hopeless romantic who sees TK and doesn’t see something that needs fixing, but someone who his love could help heal. It’s such a gorgeous story, and the symmetry of both characters shockingly losing a parent in a tragic way is painfully beautiful. I LOVE their love story.

That brings me to Oliver and Tim’s comments. Throughout the Buck and Tommy relationship, my belief that this would be Buck’s final relationship only ever wavered twice. The first time was in the immediate aftermath of their first date (I spent the whole episode thinking that Tommy was actually reintroduced to kick off the bi awakening plotline and Buck was not acquiring a boyfriend) and the second time was towards the tail end of the summer hiatus when I legitimately began to doubt Lou would want to come back given everything that transpired. Other than that, I had full faith that this was it, this was Buck getting off the “hamster wheel”—Tim’s words, not mine.

I had confidence for a few reasons. 1 – the story was always handled with care onscreen and gave us no reason to think they weren’t going to work out. 2 – the chemistry was insane, and I knew it couldn’t just be me because an entire fandom was born. Tim and tptb must have seen what we saw. 3 – the supplementary information funneled to us through articles and Tim’s social media, literally up until post-8x06 never seemed to indicate that their relationship was headed in this direction. A big part of that was the comparison to Tarlos.

In order to protect myself (should I name the list of shows, movies, couples that I’ve fixated on that wound up playing out in dissatisfying ways?), I am awfully pessimistic. The post-episode interviews, articles, + hearing a bit from LFJ and OS has me wondering if this was some mass hallucination. Did we truly cling to something good and blow it up, run with it? Was this always the plan? I’ve wondered if because S7 was so short and S8 required that other characters get the spotlight first/other stories needed to be told and wrapped, and if because of production and scheduling and whatever external reasons, did their relationship wind up having a longer life than was ever intended. Were they ever supposed to make it to six months? Were they ever supposed to make it past the fucking wedding? I have been asking myself this stuff a lot. Alternatively, did something happen that made them want to or have to part ways with LFJ? So many questions, and I’m not sure we’ll ever know.

But… then there’s the delusional side of me, and the reason I haven’t totally abandoned hope is because when I was watching 8x06 live, EVERYTHING in me told me that this is a necessary section of the rom-com formula. Even the call-backs throughout the episode made me feel like the writers are so painfully aware, and that the narrative wants these characters to be together (Miceli’s, Abby, basketball, going to the movies, calling an uber, the loft kitchen, “you’re not ready”)—the motifs were absolutely popping off. I did not think it was the end when the episode ended. I wondered when and how they would find their way back to each other to fulfill the rom-com genre, but what I did NOT expect was to open social media and see articles framing this as the end. I wasn’t surprised when I found out who wrote the articles, and listen—if they bait one side of the fandom, can’t they bait the other? I still have some hope, because at the end of the day, anything can happen with network television. Maybe this is all part of the plan, and the interviews should be taken with a grain of salt. I just don’t know.

Interviews with Tim and Oliver from day one positioned the Buck and Tommy relationship as a queer love story devoid of trauma. Okay, well… huh. From where I was sitting, there was A TON of explicitly queer trauma exposed in 8x06. Their “hurdle” is tied utterly and completely to queerness. Tommy runs because he is a gay man who doesn’t trust that his bisexual boyfriend should “settle” for him, and who would rather be alone than heartbroken, and if that truly is the last of Tommy, it has to be one of the coldest and cruelest exits we’ve ever seen on this show. Do they simply not realize how deeply traumatized both characters come off in that episode, or is it all part of the plan? If the interviews positioning this as the permanent end of bucktommy should be taken at face value, shouldn’t the other interviews that position them as a rom-com (with the formulaic third act breakup, boils and all) be taken as the truth as well? If there was some misinterpretation, why hasn’t Tim said anything—he clearly knows a lot of fans were hurt by what they watched. He must have seen the outrage—why radio silence? Did we truly blow this out of proportion? Are the wheels coming off behind the scenes? I need a tell-all at this point lol

Thank you for the lovely ask, I’ve been sitting with these thoughts all week so this was a good excuse to finally articulate them. <3

[emjayewrites]

turkey day • jules koundé one shot

SYNOPSIS: Jules experiences his first American Thanksgiving.

WARNINGS: cursing, family stuff, and abundance of thanksgiving food, fluff, boyfriend!jules

PAIRINGS: Jules Koundé x Maya Richardson (fc @/Ebonee Davis)

TAGLIST: @hopefulromantic1 @lettersofgold @sinflowersugar @mauvecherie-writes @queenshikongo3 @perfecttrashface @alika-4466 @peyiswriting @leilaxaliel @serpenttines-library @certifiedlesbianbaddie @niahxo @julescpu @jack0357 @chaoticcoffeequeen @greedyjudge2 @yeea-nah @saturnville @taytropicana @trentswrld @cranberryjulce @vile-harlot @2serenity0 @elyseesarchive @peaceiswonderful

A/N: I will be gone/offline on Thanksgiving so I figured to write something for y’all for Jules. Also thank you for 2,500 followers!!! This is insane 💕

Jules Koundé checked his watch for the third time in as many minutes, his carry-on Rimowa suitcase beside him as he waited in the private terminal of Barcelona-El Prat Airport. The early morning November air was crisp, and his mind wandered between the upcoming match against Las Palmas and the whirlwind journey he was about to embark on. Forty-eight hours in Atlanta – just enough time to experience his first American Thanksgiving with his girlfriend Maya's family before rushing back for the game.

"You know you don't have to come," Maya had said when he first suggested the trip. "My family will understand." But Jules had insisted. After dating for a year and a half, mostly long-distance while she finished her PhD in International Relations at Oxford, he wanted to meet the family she spoke about with such warmth and humor in their late-night FaceTime calls.

The private jet, arranged by the club, would make the tight schedule possible. As he settled into his seat, Jules pulled out his phone to reread Maya's latest text: "Daddy's already planning to show you 'real' football 😂 Just smile and nod, baby. Just smile and nod."

The flight passed in a blur of sleep, movies, and light training exercises in the cabin. When they touched down at Hartsfield-Jackson, Maya was waiting in a private lounge, wrapped in a cream-colored pullover that complemented her dark skin perfectly. Her braids were styled differently than when he'd last seen her three weeks ago in Barcelona, now arranged in an elegant updo.

"Bienvenue à Atlanta," she said with an exaggerated French accent that made him laugh as he pulled her into an embrace then kiss to her temple.

"Your accent is terrible," he murmured into her hair, breathing in the familiar scent of her Shea Moisture hair products.

"Yeah, well, your English was terrible when we first met, so we're even," she teased, leading him toward the parking garage where her car waited.

The drive to her parents' house in the affluent suburb of Cascade Heights took them through Atlanta's ever-changing landscape. Maya pointed out landmarks from her childhood – her old high school, the church where her grandfather had preached for forty years before retiring, the soul food restaurant where her family gathered after every major event.

"Now remember," she said as they turned onto a tree-lined street of impressive homes, "my Daddy's gonna try to intimidate you because that's just what he does. Mama will try to feed you until you burst. And my brothers..."

"Will try to determine if I'm worthy of their baby sister," Jules finished, having heard this warning before. "And your grandfather will question my profession."

"Exactly. And with all my cousins coming..." She glanced at him apologetically. "It might get a little overwhelming."

Jules reached over to squeeze her hand. "I play in front of 90,000 people at Camp Nou. I think I can handle your family."

Maya's laugh was cut short as they pulled into a circular driveway where several cars were already parked. "We'll see about that."

The door opened before they reached it, and a statuesque woman who could only be Maya's mother emerged, arms outstretched. "This must be Jules!"

Dr. Angela Richardson, a respected cardiothoracic surgeon, enveloped Jules in a warm hug before he could even attempt a formal greeting. "Come in, come in! Everyone's dying to meet you!"

By "everyone," she apparently meant the small crowd gathered in the two-story foyer. Maya's father, Miles Richardson, stepped forward first – a tall man with graying temples and an athletic build that suggested his college football days weren't too far behind him. His handshake was firm but not challenging, his smile genuine if slightly reserved.

"Welcome to our home, young man. Maya tells us you play... soccer?" The slight pause before "soccer" made Jules bite back a smile.

"Yes, sir. For Barcelona and the French national team."

"Hmm," was all Miles said, but Jules caught the slight widening of his eyes at the mention of the national team. From what Maya had told him, her father had made it to the NFL combine before a knee injury ended his career, so he at least understood the significance of representing one's country.

The introductions continued in a whirlwind: Maya's twin brothers Miles Jr. ("MJ") and Michael, both successful attorneys; their wives; a handful of young children who regarded Jules with wide-eyed curiosity; and finally, her grandparents.

Reverend Richardson, Maya's paternal grandfather, was a commanding presence despite his advanced years. "So," he said, peering at Jules over his glasses, "They call it football over there. Is that true?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, we're about to watch some real 'football'. Lions versus Bears. Traditional Thanksgiving game. You might learn something."

Maya's grandmother, Ernestine, swatted his arm. "James, leave that boy alone. He's tired from his flight." She turned to Jules with a warm smile. "You just ignore him, sugar. Now, have you eaten? You look too skinny."

Before Jules could respond, Maya intervened. "Grandma, he's a professional athlete. He has to maintain his weight."

"Professional athlete?" came a new voice as one of Maya's cousins entered the foyer. "Man, what you bench press?"

Jules exchanged an amused glance with Maya. This was going to be interesting.

The next few hours passed in a blur of activity. The women congregated in the kitchen, putting final touches on tomorrow's feast, while the men gathered in the massive family room around a television that seemed larger than some movie screens Jules had seen. The Bears-Lions game played out before them, and Jules found himself genuinely interested in the strategic elements of American football, even if the constant stops and starts felt foreign to him.

"See, now that's football," Reverend Richardson commented during a particularly impressive touchdown play. "None of that running around for ninety minutes without scoring."

"Actually, Papa," Maya's brother Michael chimed in, "I looked up some of Jules' highlights. Man's got skills." He pulled out his phone and pulled up a compilation video of some of Jules' best defensive plays and goals for Barcelona.

The room fell silent as they watched Jules execute a perfectly timed sliding tackle before launching a counterattack that led to a goal. Even Reverend Richardson leaned forward in his seat.

"Well, I'll be damned," he muttered, then quickly corrected himself. "Lord forgive my language. But son, that was impressive."

Jules ducked his head modestly. "Thank you, sir."

The evening wound down with a lighter dinner of soup and sandwiches, everyone saving room for tomorrow's feast. As they prepared for bed – Jules in the guest room, Maya down the hall in her childhood bedroom, her father's rules being what they were – Maya slipped in to say goodnight.

"You survived day one," she said, perching on the edge of his bed.

"Your family is wonderful," he replied honestly. "Loud, but wonderful."

"Just wait until tomorrow when everyone else shows up."

The next morning dawned bright and clear. Jules woke early, maintaining his training schedule with a light workout in the Richardsons' home gym, where he found Maya's father already on the treadmill.

"Early riser?" Miles asked.

"Have to be, sir. Game day or not, routine is important."

Miles nodded approvingly. They exercised in comfortable silence until Maya appeared in the doorway, still in her pajamas, looking between them with suspicious amusement.

"Y'all better get ready. Mama's already in the kitchen, and the first wave of family will be here in two hours."

Jules showered and dressed carefully in dark chinos, a teal cashmere sweater, and polished brown dress shoes. When he emerged from the guest room, he caught Maya staring.

"You clean up nice," she said, drinking in the sight of him. She'd changed into a burgundy wrap dress that made Jules momentarily forget about football, family, and everything else. "I can say the same about you, bébé."

She giggled as he pulled her in for a kiss. Her lips slanted against his, feeling pillowy soft and addictive as usual. Jules let out a satisfied groan as he felt her fingers caress his chest, but it dissolved quickly to a huff when she pulled away.

"My family, baby," was her response and she fixed his sweater. "We can’t get too carried away."

True to Maya's warning, the house soon filled with extended family. Cousins, aunts, uncles, and family friends streamed in, each carrying dishes and each wanting to meet "Maya's French soccer player." Jules lost count of the handshakes, hugs, and variations of "Boy, you really got an accent, don't you?"

The Thanksgiving meal itself was a revelation. Jules had researched American Thanksgiving traditions, but nothing had prepared him for the sheer abundance of food or the specific traditions of a Southern Black family's celebration. Before eating, everyone joined hands as Reverend Richardson said grace, a lengthy prayer that touched on everything from family bonds to the state of the world to blessing "this young man who's traveled so far to be with us today."

The food was unlike anything Jules had experienced: deep-fried turkey ("Better than that dry oven-baked stuff," Maya's uncle insisted), collard greens, cranberry sauce, fresh homemade biscuits, mac and cheese that three different aunties claimed was their specialty, yams, and dishes whose names Jules couldn't quite catch but whose flavors exploded on his tongue.

"You got to put hot sauce on those greens," Maya's cousin Brandon advised, sliding a bottle of Crystal hot sauce his way. "Trust me."

Throughout the meal, Jules found himself fielding questions about his career, his family back in France, and his intentions toward Maya. The last topic came primarily from her brothers and male cousins, delivered with smiles that didn't quite hide their protective instincts.

"So, when you planning to make an honest woman of our Maya?" her cousin Marcus asked, causing Maya to choke on her sweet tea.

"Leave them alone," Maya's mother intervened. "They're young, they're taking their time."

But Jules caught the interested glance she threw his way and made a mental note to speak with Maya's father at his next visit. The small velvet box hidden in his home back in Barcelona suddenly felt more real.

After the meal, while the women managed the cleanup with military precision ("Don't you even think about helping, baby," Maya's grandmother shooed him away), Jules found himself in the family room surrounded by Maya's cousins. They'd shifted to sports talk, with him explaining the Champions League system to increasingly interested listeners.

"So it's like March Madness, but for a whole season?" one of Maya's cousins, Amir, asked.

"Kind of, yes," Jules nodded. "But with the best clubs from all over Europe."

"And you play for one of the best ones?"

"Barcelona is... yes, one of the best," Jules admitted modestly.

"My man!" Several of the cousins exchanged high fives and daps, apparently deciding that dating a player from one of Europe's elite clubs made Maya's choice acceptable.

"Alright, alright, you listen to music, Jules?” another one of Maya's cousins, DeAndre, leaned forward, a mischievous glint in his eye. "What rappers you listening to?"

Jules straightened up, an amused smile playing on his lips. "Probably the same as you."

This got a round of laughs, but Trey, who'd been quiet until now, smirked and said, "Well, I guess old Kanye was right – 'niggas do be in Paris.'"

The room erupted in laughter, and Jules couldn't help but join in, appreciating how quickly they'd made him feel like part of the family. Marcus then leaned forward, squinting at Jules intently.

"You know, now that I'm really looking at you... you look just like J. Cole."

MJ walked in at that moment, balancing his second helping of sweet potato pie. "Man, just because he's light skin and got dreads doesn't mean he look like J. Cole," he said, shaking his head as he settled into an armchair. "So, Jules, how you liking Atlanta so far? First time here, right?"

"Yes, but my best friend Aurélien visited before. He said he loved it." Jules nodded, shifting in his seat. "I'm enjoying it a lot," he continued, choosing his words carefully. "I really like how Black it is here. It's different from Europe. Though I'm disappointed I won't get to see Maya's alma mater, Clark Atlanta, this trip."

"Man, you gotta come to Homecoming next year!" DeAndre exclaimed. "That's when Atlanta really shows out."

Jules smiled, genuine interest crossing his face. "I'll check my schedule. The football calendar is pretty rigid, but maybe during the international break..."

"So what did your boy Aurélien think about Atlanta?" Trey asked, a knowing look in his eye. "What spots did he hit up?"

Jules scoffed, shaking his head as memories of his conversations with Aurélien from three years ago flooded back. He tried his best to censor himself, careful with his words. "He, uh... he really enjoyed the food. Especially the lemon pepper wings..."

The cousins and Maya’s brothers exchanged knowing looks, immediately catching the careful way Jules was choosing his words. Marcus started laughing first.

"Magic City’s wings, huh?" he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"The wings..." Jules maintained diplomatically, though a smile tugged at his lips. "Aurélien has a... particular appreciation for certain aspects of Atlanta culture."

"Oh, you mean big booties," Trey said plainly, causing everyone to burst out laughing again.

MJ nearly choked on his sweet potato pie. "Y'all are terrible. Don't go telling our grandparents about your friend's 'cultural appreciation.'"

Jules raised his hands in mock surrender. "Listen, I just came for Thanksgiving dinner and family time. What Aurélien did on his own time..."

"Man speaks facts," DeAndre nodded approvingly. "But for real though, when you come back for Homecoming, we're gonna show you the real Atlanta. The clean version," he added quickly as MJ shot him a look. "Can't have Maya coming for our necks."

The next morning brought another new experience: Black Friday shopping. Maya insisted it was a crucial part of the American Thanksgiving experience, though Jules suspected she just wanted to see his reaction to the chaos. They joined her mother and sisters-in-law at the crack of dawn, fighting crowds at Lenox Mall.

"This is... intense," Jules commented as they watched two women nearly come to blows over a discounted designer bag.

"Welcome to America, baby," Maya laughed.

The shopping expedition was followed by service at Reverend Richardson's old church, where Jules found himself the center of attention once again. The congregation welcomed him warmly, though more than a few elderly church ladies sent meaningful looks Maya's way when they noticed the way Jules' suit fit him.

All too soon, it was time to leave on Saturday morning. Jules had a flight to catch, a match to prepare for. As they said their goodbyes, each family member hugged him like they'd known him for years rather than days.

"You come back soon, you hear?" Maya's grandmother said, pressing a container of leftover sweet potato pie into his hands. "And don't you worry about your figure just this once."

Reverend Richardson shook his hand firmly. "Next time, we'll teach you about real football properly," he said with a wink. "But I suppose your kind of football isn't so bad either."

Maya's father pulled him aside for a moment. "You take care of our girl," he said simply. "And maybe next time, stay a little longer."

In the car on the way to the airport, Maya was unusually quiet.

"Everything okay?" Jules asked.

"More than okay," she smiled. "They love you. Even Daddy, though he'll never admit it directly. And Papa actually watched some more soccer highlights after you went to bed last night."

Jules laughed. "Your family is... they're special."

"Special crazy or special good?"

"Special perfect," he said, taking her hand. "Though I might need a week to recover from all the food your grandmother insisted I eat."

"Please, I saw you getting seconds of that mac and cheese. Don't even front."

As the plane took off a few hours later, Jules thought about the whirlwind visit. He'd faced some of the world's best strikers, played in front of massive crowds, dealt with intense media scrutiny. But somehow, winning over Maya's family felt like his greatest victory yet.

His phone buzzed with a message from Maya: "Daddy just said he might come watch one of your games sometime. I think that means you're officially family now 😘"

Jules smiled, already thinking about his next visit. Maybe by then, that little velvet box wouldn't be hidden away in Barcelona anymore. But first, he had a match to win against Las Palmas. After all, he couldn't disappoint his new American family who might be watching.

[robolvrr]

galaxy girl ༚⁠˖⁠♡ 💻

lost light first contact au. mild nsfw. fem!human reader.

long way from home? you must be awfully lonely. don't worry. i can make it feel allll better. [ donations : open! ]

18+ below!

it's an accident.

ultra magnus had pretty much declared no "contraband" allowed aboard, unless it was bought ethically and consumed ethically. whatever that meant.

"it's in the guidelines", he'd said. "and we can't just abandon the rules. it's what prevents this place from caving into vicious decline."

in short? "don't have fun guys. i'm a giant pole in the mud."

so it wasn't all that surprising when that got thrown out the window. it was usually little things. some other-planetary historical junk. doo-dads and whatchamacallits. brainstorm had a terrible habit of smuggling shit that no doubt would actually blow up the place.

when swerve started suggesting smuggling entertainment, in efforts to of course make the bar a little more interesting, not many disagreed. granted he has to keep it a total secret (though we all know the ships gossip can only keep his mouth shut a cycle a time.)

from the sound of it? he's found something good.

"now listen. i paid an arm and a servo for this so i better not hear any complaints. don't ask me how i got to work - because i don't know!"

a groan cuts through his speech. whirl chitters in his seat, banging the table.

"get on with it! i don't have all night to hear you toot your own pipes."

swerve doesn't even crinkle his smile.

"oh cmon, don't be like that pal. you guys don't even know what i have!" he turns around, bent behind the bar top as he rummages through belongings.

he's gotten a mildly entertained "first viewership party" consisting of whirl, rewind, aaaaaand...

well. the others weren't too interested in one on one time, all making up great excuses to just "wait until it's ready."

a thin, screened device is plopped onto bar top.

rewind stares.

"... a geriatric electronic. swerve wow you've.. you've really outdone yourself there."

his frown turns to a pout and he moves it away before whirl has a chance to crush it.

"hey. don't say that. it's not the device, it's what's on the device. i'm talking connections outside the species. full, galactic communication. for free!"

rewind looks a little dubious. "i don't know. you've been scammed before. what if it doesn't work-"

"rewind, buddy, i love you, really, i do. but that last time doesn't count because i was totally given some very misleading information---"

whirls servos jolt forward with frustrated ease. he almost yanks the poor thing wide open.

"will ya both stop yapping my processor off! just show the damn thing! i am missing out on prime wrecker --"

the screen finally lights up. the trio quiet down, and it's funny, because they have to crowd around the smaller screen and there's some shoving and grumbling before they can actually see. it opens up to a "browser" - that's what the broker called it.

a used "laptop" but working functionally and much less sophisticated than any of the other tech they frequently used. wasn't a surprise they were so advanced compared to their spacial neighbors.

the browser had a chat pinned at the right. some of the language was understandable but most was not. either way it was moving too fast and that wasn't what was catching attention either.

it was you.

you look to be in a room. berthroom?

it's pale and pink and soft. lacking metal, or hard surfaces. it's so painfully.. soft looking. and you are too. your hair is pinned up and there's something small and cylinder strapped to the inside of your thigh. the wire is taped. your face is partially hidden under a thin mask, though your nose and lips are visible. lace and sheer mesh plaster your frame.

"bedroom", swerve corrected rewind quietly. what? he's seen enough movies.

"... is that a fragging fleshie."

swerve bites his servo. oh primus, what did he buy?!?

"uh. it appears it is."

whirl squints. his golden optic trains on the movement you provide. how your fingers trail up your waist. when you tap back to your viewers on the keyboard, giving cheeky laughs and little looks down your cleavage.

"... she's tiny. could probably squeeze her and she'd yelp like a turbo fox."

rewind shifts uncomfortable. leave it to whirl to make things weird.

"that's what you're focusing on? not the fact that swerve just smuggled on. organic porn onto the ship?!"

swerve shushes them both, loud. he feels admittedly a little hot under his visor. you're not looking at them, it's not how the camera works - you are broadcasting yourself. but it certainly feels like you've got that coquette, impish gaze all for him, sighing soft and starting to move your hips. he's not a prude.

he's seen plenty of those human movies and some of them had the species interfacing thrown in. it's all acting, though.

this feels raw. feels like he's being a little pervert voyeur.

suddenly, he has the urge to go back to his habsuite and loosen his modesty panels some. they feel tight.

"you like that, sunshines?"

amidst the baffled bickering, your voice coyly whispers and tugs their attention, forces their heads to turn. you got closer to your camera, turning around until your knees rest on the pillow.

neither of them can even describe what they're looking at. you don't have a spike, and your valve looks nothing like any cybertronian. but it's wet and pink and messy. there's something pink plugging up the other hole too. it's got that same, soft fluff as your nightgown at the end. whirl's knee hits the table hard.

"you guys have all been so good for me. i think it's high time you get your rewards. i love when i can make you all happy. mmn.."

several dings blast the speakers. the device on your thigh buzzes. you sing the prettiest note of pleasure any of them have ever had the millions of years to experience.

your face goes into the pillow. every donation is met with whimpers and thank yous and whiny support.

"primus. oh my.. geez. frag. she's so... it's so flexible. you're recording this right? rewind, tell me you are."

"i am, swerve, shush!"

you look so cute. they can't explain why.

maybe it's because you know most of the viewers aren't your kind, but your smaller frame is still just as enticing. your skin glistens as you kick your legs, overwhelmed. stockings peel down and it's about the sexiest thing since wireplay.

"yoooo, swerve!"

the three mechs almost yell in unison. the laptop is shut hard. swerve is the first to turn around. his smile looks dopey and he sucks at lying.

"heyyyyyyy. heyyyyyy. do what do i owe the pleasure, captain? didn't ya hear? opening hours changed for today!"

rodimus quirked a brow-ridge. weird. "uh-huh. did you? sorry, didn't know." didn't remember. he probably wasn't listening. "hoo, anyways. i need you to look into hosting an event. you see, there's been some in-fighting with the crew."

"how awful!" swerves dentae grits. his smile is bordering painful. rodimus pats his shoulder and the last thing he wants is to be touched by anyone when his spike is threatening to chub.

"yeah, i know. lack of camaraderie just won't do. makes a spark hurt, you know? so, i had a brilliant idea. you are gonna host a party. a big one! one that not even ultra magnus can question, because he'll be invited. unfortunately."

"super!" by the stars above, strike him down now!

"see, i knew you were the minibot for the job. i dunno why they always complain about you."

"shucks, thanks -- wait what?"

rodimus continues. whirl has long stalked off but from the sound of crunching metal on his exit, he's just as pissed that he's gotten a bit of a spike kill. or maybe he's just mad a flesh bag has gotten him riled up. probably both.

but one thing is painfully clear. this?

best purchase of his life.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Pretty in pink

Another reason why I always knew Clairmy was never gonna be endgame.

This piece of meta has been sitting in my drafts for months. Since I watched S2 for the first time, back in January. After yesterday's teaser, I thought I just might dust it off and hang it out to dry in the sun, so here it is and actually, this is much better timing because I get to supplement it with more and newer meta I came up with later on.

So, the second I heard the first few tunes of the soundtrack I just knew.

The Bear | Pop | 02x05

Storer wasn't subtle.

I just knew that C was gonna end up with someone else, or just letting him go, and when I heard Carmy saying these words:

and they rang soooo untrue and unhinged and even forced or coaxed coming from him and in that context, so OOC, etc... I took it as all the confirmation I needed to firmly stand my anti-clairmy ground even before I got to know her.

It was obvious to me that that was not Carmen Berzatto talking, but The Bear Jr., the kid in HS who grew up isolated and under Michael's shadow.

He was coming from a place of complete and utter stuckness, a stagnant position he regressed to, the second his frustrated HS sweetheart won this battle:

He wasn't necessarily lying when he said he liked her, at least not consciously:

But the TENSE was the problem. He said "I like you so much" when it was the HS stuttery kid the one talking, the one who wished SHE talked to him more, so he didn't have to because he was too shy. He should have said liked if he was being honest with himself and her.

He should have told her something along the lines of: "I had a crush on you in HS, and when you came onto me, I choked. This is so not the right timing for me to do this because I'm tied up with the restaurant, and I just... instead of telling you all of that, I took the easy and cowardly way out and gave you the wrong number. Sorry."

BTW, that's a pattern he will have to outgrow because of Syd if he doesn't wanna lose her. He will have to start telling the woman he loves in proper timing how he feels and why and do the chasing if he must because Syd, unlike C, is NOT A CHASER, she's a walker (pattern she will have to outgrow herself too, as I mentioned → here). No more room for the shy kid, he's gonna have to man up in S4.

After delivering those lines that to me were OOC and plain blatant, he turned into Logan to fit in the party and in C's life (or make her fit into his, whatever).

So, my point is that when I heard the Pretty in Pink soundtrack I immediately drew these parallels:

Duckie is Carmy and Andy is the C person. IDGAF who was gonna play Blane, I assumed that character was gonna be introduced to us later in the series, or not at all. But Andie and Duckie do not end up together because they are not right for each other even though they grew up together. They are just not right for each other because coming from the same place doesn't determine shit in life, the choices you make do. In the movie, they didn't choose each other. PerioT. That was a hell of a musical foreshadowing and I thank the sadist for it because the second I associated that musical piece of data with ep 01x03 I was like: “OK, how much more obvious can you be, Storer? Really? Try harder, please.”

Because why would he give Molly Ringwald such important lines in S1 if Pretty in Pink was not a huge lead we needed to follow in S2 when the same plot of one of her biggest hits made a cameo on the show, right?

So, anyway... I always knew these 2 were endgame:

Waayyyy before Syd said it. Actually, Syd didn't say it bc we don't know who she was talking about, it was STORER who did that in the teaser, HE IS THE ONE WHO SYNCS UP THE MUSIC WITH THE FRAMES OR SIGNS OFF ON WHAT THE EDITORS SYNC UP AS PER HIS REQUEST AND HE'S THE ONE WHO DECIDES WHO ARE ENDGAME ON HIS SHOW. So it's Storer who yesterday told us Pretty in Pink doesn't get the guy, which was pretty obvious, if you ask me :)

Bonus track: Syd is his redemption plot. Syd is his endgame, sure, but first, he has to grow up to be the man he can be as opposed to the bear he is. I always said his whole redemption arc is Kierkegaardian:

And he even looks like him, c'mon!

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[galadhir]

i think that there was a fanwriter named Nemis that wrote a lot of fics about E/C? i liked those fics!

My memory has never been good and after 20 years away it's completely unreliable, but still, that name rings a bell. I vaguely remember her being a nice person that I was aware of but never really interacted with because our areas of interest didn't quite intersect.

i hoped the show would give some spot to Celebrian … and instead. lol.

Indeed! I can just picture the show writers turning their noses up at the thought of writing Galadriel as a mother. She can't be a mother! Whoever heard of a mother being interesting? No one would think it was cool for Galadriel to be an actual queen and seasoned diplomat and seer, with a husband and a child.

Not to mention that Celebrian can't be interesting at all because she dies as a damsel in distress, so she must be a wimp all her life (ignoring the fact that everybody dies in distress.) People can't imagine that her life could have been interesting before that :( Sexism and failure of imagination again.

it would be interesting to see if anyone else had my idea … of course i have not read all the Galadriel/Celeborn fics out there so if someone has those, feel free to drop!

LOL! I'm sorry to end up dropping my own fics on you, but it sounds like you might enjoy my Oak and Willow

(Ignore all the tags, they were auto-imported from Henneth Annun when that archive backed up all its stories on Ao3 and then shut down.) And you can probably ignore chapters 1-4 if you're just in it for the C/G romance. They are world building for Doriath and setting up Celeborn's position in his home, with Thingol, Melian, Luthien and Daeron.

I originally started out intending this one to be a Sindarin history of the world, from the rising of the sun and the moon. But it rapidly became the story of C&G in the First Age. If I had known it was just going to be their love story against a backdrop of the events of the First Age, I might have left off chapter 1 at least, as that was setting up something I didn't actually write in the end.

But it is more or less what you're talking about. So if you're interested, you might like it :)

oh that's interesting, may i ask if it's still online? my beef with peter jackson started muuuuch later with the hobbit movies, but i like to see how other people reacted to the LOTR trilogy when it comes out

Yes, Battle of the Golden Wood is on Ao3 too - also imported from HASA (Henneth Annun Story Archive, which was the place to post elf fanfic back in the day.)

I agree with you about the Hobbit movies! Way too much bloat. There was the occasional nice thing in them - I enjoyed seeing Beorn's house and his bees, for example - but almost everything that PJ put in was grotesque and unfunny and unnecessary. The Hobbit would have made one great film, but there just isn't enough story in it to stretch to three.

as for what you say … i think that that's the current approach of Warner Bros, with its War of the Rohirrim stuff or whatever. i'm not enthusiast about it at all and i would probably complain about it too,

I know what you mean. I'm not enthusiastic either about a Rohirrim spin-off because it seems like they've picked the most low-effort story imaginable. Yes, you can use props from The Vikings and Game of Thrones. You can probably crib story lines from Bernard Cornwell's Anglo-Saxon stories. Have we not seen enough pseudo-early-medieval stories already?

I would have liked to see something we haven't seen before! (Which doesn't mean I won't at least check out the first season. But my hopes are not high.)

i do not want to be mean but btw i do have the feeling that a lot of rop fans are mostly migratory dark romance fans

Oh, the Reylo folks from Star Wars? That would actually make an awful lot of sense. They certainly behave like them. I managed to avoid them by being in the Kylux fandom at the time, and the Kylux fandom was numerous enough to just block them all and carry on doing our own thing regardless. Also a good time :)

it's lowkey … limitating? flattening? because neither galadriel nor sauron fit into this archetype and i do think that forcing them in this dynamic … just doesn't make them sauron and galadriel anymore? but i digress

I know exactly what you mean. I've mostly spent my fandom life in slash (m/m) fandom and there is a migratory slash fandom which is the same. If a pairing gets big enough then the msf will arrive and reduce it to a set of tropes and stereotypes, and then move on to the next big thing as soon as it arrives. In that case, you just have to wait for the next big thing and hope there is someone left still writing to pick up the fandom once they've gone.

Yeah at this point i do honestly wish that everyone can write its own retelling of lotr and publish it.

At least there is the opportunity for us to do it in Ao3, even if we're not allowed to make money on it. We can do it for love :)

Hoo, boy. I am definitely going to unfollow the Celeborn tag again, since it's full of Haladriel shippers arguing that Celeborn stans are harassing them.

I'm not getting into whether that's true. I have no interest in Rings of Power, and as far as I am concerned, Halbrand does not exist in Tolkien's world. I can't be somewhere where people mix Amazon's fanfiction with actual lore.

Also ship wars are not for me. I was a massive Celeborn defender during the release of the movies, and I wrote several novels worth of fanfic then. I think I'm spent.

Still, as a Celeborn fan I thought the Celeborn tag would be a great place to go to find stuff about Celeborn. How could I have been so foolish!

My poor lad! Not even his own tag is about him. Which is exactly what I should have expected, now I come to think about it.

[despazito]

When I was little and the power went out my parents would get out this antique looking kerosene lamp so I would get my inkwell and quill pen to draw and I remember specifically pretending I was Benjamin Franklin

[r0semultiverse]

BUNGOU STRAY DOGS 119 SPOILERS WITHOUT CONTEXT

[goodhickey]

don't ever look at popular social media personalities opinions on or check the tags related to a movie explicitly about the queer experience Worst mistake of my life. every single time a queer movie has gotten popular cishet people come out in droves to posit that Actually, my interpretation of the film where instead of being weird faggots everyone is normal is Just as valid as your stupid gay interpretation . and I'm meant to be like yeah okay

[gerardway-is-my-babygirl]

hey! i see you’re a fan of renfield— i read the original bram stoker version of dracula a few years back and was wondering how similar the depiction of him is to the source material…?

First of all thank you for the ask!!

There's a LOTTT of differences between book renfield and 2023 renfield, the only similarities they share Is the bug eating, serving dracula and being pathetic and frail.

Personality wise 2023 renfield Is VERY chill, like the complete opposite of book renny to the point where they could be completely separate people. He's very nervous and submissive around dracula, though he's a lot more competent and capable of doing normal things.

I'd recommend the movie If you'd like to see this kind of renfield, he's still a bit of a freak but he's definitely a lot more mentally stable and aware?? Idk If that's the right word but he's quite normal In comparison to his book counterpart. He's been molded completely by dracula over the 90 years they've spent together, so he's a lot more nervous and wary of stepping a toe out of line.

He's also definitely a bit more action hero coded In the later parts of the film, but I'd recommend It If you want to see my darling wife robert montague renfield

[marklikely]

not going to lie them making the protagonist of anatomy of a fall bisexual was inspired

[yoojinluv]

[junkie-virus]

the ranfe of my... feelings for things i really really like is . either it makes me so happy that i feell genuinely sick. or in times pf great distress i call upon it. “[insert media] would never treat me like this.” (or inserting current blorbo into my situation) umm i dont know something about sickness in here.... one that invokes sickness v the one that cures/combats sickness or whatever

[here-there-were-dragons]

all modern writing advice is optimized towards creating the most digestible and marketable mass-appeal piece possible, which everyone has decided is The Only Way To Do Art Right for some reason. i hate it, i fucking hate it so much, i had to stop listening to movie and art concrit videos because it became infuriatingly clear that literally no one has opinions of their own, they're just parroting from a list of How To Make The Most Marketable Thing that they heard from other criticisms, taken as gospel of The One And Only Way To Be Right, and have put no real actual thought into it themselves.

literally all of them now just boil down to "here's how this did/didn't follow the Standard Marketability Checklist to the exact letter. also at least a third of this essay is me randomly interjecting about how much i want to suck off puss in boots 2"

Every 21st century piece of writing advice: Make us CARE about the character from page 1! Make us empathize with them! Make them interesting and different but still relatable and likable!

Every piece of classic literature: Hi. It's me. The bland everyman whose only purpose is to tell you this story. I have no actual personality. Here's the story of the time I encountered the worst people I ever met in my life. But first, ten pages of description about the place in which I met them.

[billyboyblue]

Weird thing I've thought my whole life for some reason: I always wanted to be in a life or death situation and the person choking me (there's a person on top of me choking me in this scenario) has me on the ground and the gun or knife or whatever is centimeters from my fingertips and I'm reaching and they're squeezing and it's so perilous and super scary but then at the last second my hand grasps the hilt of the super cool knife and then clunk, right in the noggin. What does that mean?

[inkskinned]

they will need to whipstitch the wound closed, but embroidery is a "woman's" task. they will need to eat and clean and mend clothes, but why learn basic things when you can have a woman measure out your life in beads. he will be the "head" of your house, but if you want him to act accordingly, you must assign him a list of all applicable activities. you will be otherwise constantly in charge of almost-everything; so he will lead the house he is absent from.

in movies and books, the "cool" girl will be more-like-a-man. she will be "less boring," more "fun". she will have masculine ideas and masculine talents, which means a man doesn't have to change in order to find her fascinating. she will disdain of something as simple as stitching. how boring!

she will kick open the door of a car and quip what, girls can't drive? and flip her long hair down one side. she will grill and shoot a gun and skydive. be a guy. she will be sexualized.

somewhere, working on computers becomes a masculine task, and now on tv a gen-z disney character throws her hands up in the air. i can't be a computer science nerd, i'm a girl! in the real life, she will be unable to sit through some of her classes, shivering when she realizes she is the only woman present in several of them.

how many times have you read this book and seen this show and watched this movie. the singular woman is allowed 5 lines because she's not just smart! she's also pretty! she is surrounded by 20 average men, but she is stunning. she is the exception to the bland, pale lives of women-at-home, who will never be shown. she likes dirt and motorbikes and blood and shows up in a tiny dress during the final scene, rolling her eyes at our male lead's incredulity - just because i like motorcross doesn't mean anything. i'm still a woman, okay? i actually like shopping.

it is almost never reversed, and you think about that often. it is vanishingly rare to have a single man in a cast of women. the male love interest does not show up at a feminist march and sardonically squint at our leading lady - what? you thought only women care about human rights? he does not know how to balance a checkbook or kickbox because i grew up with three sisters.

when he cooks he is a chef, which is sexy. when he cleans, he's being kind, genteel. when he nurtures his family, confetti rains from the ceiling. when she does these things: it is her duty and her identity. what do you mean she has other passions and hobbies? isn't her hobby and passion homemaking?

the other day a friend embroidered a seam closed on your jacket into the shape of ivy. every time you touch it, you think of her.

something about women's hobbies and art and skills. something about women's work.