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ryqoshay · 2 years

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How to Handle a Nico - Side Story: Audible Archery

Primary Pairing: KotoUmi Rating: G Words: 626 Fandom: Love Live Parent Fic: How to Handle a Nico Time Frame: Sometime after the two are married (?) Event: Promptober 2022 Event Source: Idol Fanfic Heaven channel on Discord Prompt: Ghost

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Author’s Note: Bonus 4th entry for Oct 4th

Summary: Honoka recommends an audio book about archery to Kotori

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Kotori hummed happily to herself as she scrolled through the audiobook collection. Ah, there it was, the one Honoka had recommended to her. She quickly read the synopsis. Odd. While the book wasn’t something she would immediately dismiss as disinteresting, it wasn’t exactly something she would normally go out of her way to listen to either.

It was, however, something she believed Umi might enjoy, as it pertained to archery. Well, perhaps she could, in turn, recommend it to her later.

Kotori pressed play and couldn’t help smiling at the voice that came through her earbuds. The woman sounded a lot like Honoka, although significantly less energetic. Perhaps that was the reason Honoka had suggested it?

This was turning out to be the perfect entertainment for some mindless sewing.

Wait, what was that? Kotori thought, a few minutes into listening. That sounded like a turn of phrase that Umi might use. Kotori backed up a few seconds to relisten. No, that was actually something Umi had said before. Verbatim.

Kotori shook her head. Surely, it must be something archers say. Kotori was slightly ashamed to admit that her main interest in archery was the fact that Umi continued it as a hobby, rather than the activity itself. As such, she had only learned enough to know what was going on in tournaments Umi occasioned to attend. She knew some of the lexicon, but there was bound to be much she didn’t know.

Kotori was about to brush off the incident when the reader began to speak about a tournament she remembered Umi winning. And while Umi herself was not named, the book was clearly referring to her.

Once was happenstance. Twice was coincidence…

Kotori kept listening.

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“Umi-chan.”

“Yes, Kotori?”

“Did you write a book about archery?”

Umi looked up from her paperwork. “I beg your pardon?”

“Did you write a book.” Kotori repeated. “About archery.”

As Umi held Kotori’s gaze, pink began to spread on her cheeks, before darkening to red. “I… You… How did you find out?”

“Honoka-chan suggested it to me.”

“B-But I ghostwrote it!” Umi insisted. “It’s under the name of a famous sports author, not even a pseudonym either of you two could figure out.”

“But we know your style.” Kotori smiled. “It doesn’t matter if you’re writing idol songs, financial reports, or books. Umi-chan is still Umi-chan.”

Umi deflated a bit.

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Because… it’s… embarrassing.” Umi averted her gaze toward the floor. “You know I do not enjoy bragging about myself.”

Kotori giggled. “Yes, I know. But you could have still said something. Having a book professionally published, even if ghostwritten, is a big deal. We should celebrate. Tonight.” She decided. “I’m going to head out to pick up ingredients for some of your favorites.”

She was about to turn to leave when…

“Thank you.” Umi said softly. “And… sorry for not saying anything sooner. You know I don’t like keeping secrets either, especially not from you. But the whole situation honestly caught me off-guard. I knew of the author, but I had no idea she was a fan of mine as an archer, nor that she would approach me with such a request.”

Kotori turned back and moved over to her wife. Umi realized her intent and slid her desk chair back to allow her to slide down into her lap. Kotori then wrapped her arms around Umi’s neck and pulled herself up to peck a quick kiss on her cheek.

“I think it’s wonderful that Umi-chan is an author.” She said. “Perhaps maybe I can convince Umi-chan to write a novel about how she and I came together as a couple.”

“No.” Umi stated flatly.

Kotori laughed lightly and pulled in for another kiss.

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Author’s Note Continued: I was having fun coming up with ways to write a story using a prompt for Ghost that wasn’t actually about ghosts. I mean yeah, sure, I wrote about Shizuku, a phantom in PoH, but that just fit so easily with my self-challenge of trying to include last year’s prompts as well. But after that, I wanted to see what else I could come up with... and manage to both write and post on my breaks at work.

The idea of having one of the girls ghostwrite a book came to mind, so I took a little while to decide who among the cast might do so. And while I came up with several possibilities, Umi ended up winning out.

Also, I put a (?) in the Time Frame entry as I really only used wife as it is shorter than girlfriend in an event that limits characters. When I get around to working this into HtHaN proper, I may change their relationship status, based on where I think it fits best in the overall timeline.

#KotoUmi #Sonoda Umi #Minami Kotori #How to Handle a Nico #Love Live #Promptober 2022 #fanfic

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artisafeelingg · 7 months

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AUTHENTICITY:

I always talk to people and get the “you’re so different than I imagined” talk. While I know this is meant to be a compliment, and hearing it gives me great solace in knowing that someone has finally uncovered the real Lucia without letting their judgements of who I am from my social media, etc. hinder that, I cannot help but feel slightly sad. What about all of the individuals that never see the real me? Or all of the people who allow an Instagram post or a passing glance to write my narrative of who I am as an individual? This blog post is dedicated to starting my journey of authenticity and sharing ME on social media. From a young age I’ve been passionate about writing. In my eyes, the beauty of the written word surpasses all other forms of communication. Writing was my first love, and we had a tumultuous affair from writing articles for The Indianapolis Star to publishing my poetry in an anthology on Amazon and other international print magazines. Like all first loves, I put a tremendous amount of pressure on my love for writing and considered even making it my major. Eventually, we went our separate ways but my passion and knack for it has never ceased to exist, even many years later. I’m writing this first post as a toast to authenticity, and to using my social media to express who Lucia Ponader really is. She rather sentimental (queue the weekly cry sesh!) She is an avid lover of words and will constantly use large words which shocks people (girls can be hot and smart too. It’s called elevated diction. Godspeed on your journey of literacy). She is messy, passionate, unorganized (just ask her friends) and a whirlwind of emotion and intensity. She is a lover of ALL Asian cuisine and with absolutely zero apprehension would eat any form of Asian cuisine every day for the rest of her life. She is a self proclaimed dumpling connesuir. She absolutely cannot function without her trusted Aquaphor. She MUST sleep with multiple fans blasting on full speed directly onto her face (to the average overnight guest one would believe that they were at sea on a particularly windy day trying to fall asleep in her room). She might quite possibly be a hoarder because of her emotional attachment to literally anything. She enjoys sunshine beaming down, with a kombucha in tow and her favorite book. Or watercoloring outdoors with a great friend. She lived in Italy for 8 months and LOVES to travel. She conquered Hawaii next. Her absolute favorite movie of all time is the Great Gatsby directed by Baz Luhrmann, one of her favorite directors of all time. She hates driving, those sporadic “can I talk to you” texts, and picky eaters. She aspires to be a food critic, travel to every country in the world, and make her own Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (P.S. Anthony Bourdain is my answer to the who would you have dinner with dead or alive question). She hates small talk and would rather engage in an enthralling discussion about something more abstract. Her favorite question to argue: do you believe in the idea of truth as it is literally defined? (in my opinion the correct answer is no, truth is merely a construct that is completely subjective and therefore is inherently unable to exist according to the definition of “truth”). She is creative and thinks outside the box; rules do not apply to her. She is an internationally published poet. She once ghostwrote music for her SoundCloud rapping ex. Favorite artist? Monet or musically it would have to be Cigarettes After Sex. She has been coined the “jester” of her friend group, as it’s her job to entertain and make people laugh. She does not believe that love is enough or that it exists for her (absolutely feel free to prove me wrong at any point). She loves a good laugh. She has flaws too, like all of us, but perhaps we will dive into those in another post. She exists differently in every single persons mind, but it’s time she takes control of that narrative, just a little. Here’s my take on authenticity, perfectly imperfect. Stop taking Instagram so seriously.

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bernardineshen · 2 years

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Her Journal

POEMS FOR HIM: The After Poems (Robbing a Thief) Entry#7

I found a journal saying all the things I wanted to say to you. For a second, I thought it was mine but it was another’s and I thought, I wasn’t the only one feeling what I used to felt. I could have ghostwrote this in my sleep after the times I cried. She entitled it, “watch me fall out of love through my journal entries,” and I wonder if I am falling out of it too—even after you did it first and even after we ended it already. If I was only brave enough, I could have said all that too, you know? But I guess love outweighs bravery and love covers the pain. But people, they can only handle so much. And God knows how much we tried for forever—writing journal entries and poems only to convince ourselves that we can still stay. And when I read her last words, I smiled. I must not know why but I know for sure that she found her worth. I guess I did too. The old version of myself could have hated the writer because how can you fucking fall out of love?—That was unfair. But also, how can you not fall out of love when he gives you all the reasons to fall out of it, too? Now, I fucking understand. Maturity is knowing better. Growth is agreeing with every single word. People are temporary. Love is a fantasy. Falling out of it is a universal feeling. Writing is therapeutic. Healing will come. And I, I will keep writing may it be about you or not anymore.

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inkblotsandriddles · 2 years

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@howling-wizard replied to your post “My moods about Rorschach are always swinging...”:

I feel like daniel himself ghostwrote this xD

Moment of silence for Daniel because he must have been subjected to so much stupid shit during their partnership.

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into-control · 4 years

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istg some twitter gaylors (and probably tumblr gaylors too) are so annoying, they attribute the writing credit for most of taylor's friends' songs to taylor. I was just reading a twitter thread about how people think that taylor ghostwrote some camila songs like bad kind of butterflies and living proof and shameless and that "the lyrics are too good to be camila's" (but they don't even know what her lyrics are like?)

like they're legit saying that shameless and living proof "sound super gay" and "camila's a straight girl" so it must have been ghostwritten by taylor 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

whyyy do they do this. and so many of them agreed in the replies, they're all like "👀" and "I could see this being true" and "🤔🤔"

kind of embarassing for them to 1) fall for showmila and 2) not be able to tell the difference between taylor’s writing style and camila’s. to me there’s a pretty stark difference, the most obvious one to me is that taylor is extremely metaphor-heavy and camila isn’t quite as much.

and camila has been writing songs completely on her own since before she met taylor... so...

#ask #anon

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sassyfrassboss · 4 years

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"He will die on his hill. Meghan must have promised him something HUGE in return" Bold faced perjury? You don't think he'll cough up the recordings or word document proving MM ghostwrote her own biography?

Honestly I originally thought that Omid and her friends would NEVER perjure themselves but now I am not so sure.

Unless the MoS shows these people to their faces that there is proof, I think they will lie on the stand. However, I could see them lying on the stand and then MoS jumps in with proof that they are lying so they are outed on the stand.

Omid must think that the reward is worth the risk at this point. I mean we saw him being interviewed for something for Netflix so I’ll bet Meghan has promised him something.

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queenofnohr · 5 years

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The Charming Empire - Otome Review (Soshi Amazaki Route)

I was going to hold off on doing this because 1. I wanted to play more routes to have a more comprehensive look at the game and 2. I don’t really have free time yet. Promptly ignored the above logic mostly to get this out of my system.

Before we begin, a disclaimer - While I do have pretty extensive knowledge about the otome genre in both longer “proper” VNs as well as the shorter, bite sized mobile VNs, I’m able to derive enjoyment from most anything (I feel the need to point this out because I see a lot of reviews that get hung up on stuff I can easily brush off even if I do understand where they’re coming from).

This is going to be a spoiler-free review based on Soshi Amazaki’s route alone.

Firstly, I must note that this is a mobile otome game. If you’re looking for something as long and substantial as, say, Hakuouki, Alice in the Country of Hearts, Dandelion, etc. this is probably not the game for you.

Now that that’s out of the way, I’ll be rating it based on usual points with a more... comprehensive and personal look at the end (feel free to skip to that if you know our tastes align and/or just want to see me losing my mind).

Prologue - 1/10

Normally I wouldn’t separate prologue from story. However, as this game started as a mobile game, there is no general route in which one gains points toward a love interest as is standard in full-length otome games. However, even by mobile game standards this game’s prologue fails in that it you meet exactly 0 love interests. Indeed, the prologue is the bare-bones introduction of the setting. This flaw is further complicated by the fact that, because it started as a mobile game, routes are bought individually. This means that there is no way to gauge the love interests except by the game’s straightforward summary on the buy screen. Luckily for me, I was sold at “Kenjiro Tsuda voices a love interest who is both a big brother and a lord” so this wasn’t as knee-capping as it could’ve been, but normally you’d have to simply take a leap of faith because if a love interest doesn’t actually end up being your type, you’re out of luck since you’ve already paid for the route.

This is an aside, but translation for the prologue is... questionable. It isn’t unreadable, like some translations I’ve had the misfortune of reading, but it does create some confusion regarding the MC’s family situation which I can’t help but clear up here. MC is the daughter of the previous lord whose mother moved with her out to the countryside. Her mother is died of illness, and MC now lives with an elderly couple. It’s simply when I say it here, but in game the family situation isn’t actually explained until well into the route and the narration refers to the couple as the “old man” and “old woman,” while the MC calls them “Grandpa” and “Grandma” (ojii-san, obaa-san in Japanese, which is a literal translation of what someone would call any older folk with the degree of familiarity MC has with them) while they call her “princess” (literally, hime-sama). The closeness of referring to them as grandparents vs the distance of the narrative’s “old man/woman” + calling the MC princess in a literal sense (vs. a nickname) is jarring especially because, again, they do not clearly explain the MC’s family situation.

Story - 7/10

Soshi holds the most powerful seat in all the empire. Only trusting himself, he rejects the opinions of others as he continues his dictatorship agenda -- breeding animosity amongst the people. He’s a cold man who sees even his own sister as a political tool.

This is the official description for Soshi’s route. Unfortunately(?) for some this... doesn’t really hold true for most of the route and I find it an odd way to bill it.

The initial conflict/relationship growth in the game stems from the MC wanting to be closer to Soshi - not necessarily in a romantic sense - and his distance due to his position. If you’re expecting a more haughty/sneering/pragmatic Kenjiro Tsuda more along the lines of his role as Kazama Chikage and/or a villain archetype who treats MC as a tool (no judgment, we all got our otome types) he’s by and large not that. Things get more complicated around the 10th chapter, but that’s 2/3 of the game in.

The writing is competent. Again, if you’re looking for complex worldbuilding and something deep, you will not find it here. But, while it isn’t poetry in motion, there was at least no point where I actively cringed or asked myself why I was playing it (this is compared to my experience with Voltage Games and Playchoices).

The MC is tolerable. There’s nothing special about her, but she avoids being a literal faceless protagonist with zero presence while also not having such a strong personality as to be polarizing. She shows more competence and restraint than I expected of her (the bar was nearly floor level, but still).

The pacing is... odd. I get the distinct feeling that it’s a longer otome shoved inside a mobile otome, if that makes sense. I’ve seen other reviews call it rushed, but that isn’t necessarily the feeling I get. For a game to feel “rushed” to me, it has to show a lack of care and attention to detail; scenes are had just to have them and either don’t contribute to the overall plot/theme/feeling of the game. I feel like this game does take care, especially in it’s early bits, but some developments happen later on which don’t get the development time they necessarily need. Which leads me to-

The plot kind of goes off the rails around chapter 10 or 11. It returns to form in chapter 14ish. This... plot twist, shall we say, is predicated on hiding obfuscating knowledge from the reader that should be apparent due to being from the MC’s PoV. Whether or not this is a dealbreaker will depend largely on the person. Personally, I was loopy off resisting sleep medication while reading this part so I just sort of accepted it and the return to form/explanation in later chapters made it worth it, but your mileage will definitely vary. I have Thoughts on this, but this is all I can really say while still maintaining a spoiler free review.

Playtime if ardently listening to the voices is ~3 hours. Playtime can be cut down significantly if you’re a fast reader and don’t overly care about the voice acting.

I haven’t tried all alternate options, but there doesn’t seem like huge variations regarding the choices. The 16th chapter, however, will change based on whether you get the Normal or Happy End.

Art - 7/10

The art isn’t anything special nor is it terrible. It’s much less stiff and has more style to it that most mobile otome’s I’ve played, but is lacking when compared to, again, full length otome games.

The MC has a face, which gets points from me (I dislike faceless MCs a lot especially when included in CGs). The fact no one but love interests even get sprites is somewhat jarring.

As far as CGs go, they’re standard fare and about the number you’d expect for the length of a route. The game isn’t raunchy like... at all so don’t expect anything too scandalous.

Voice Acting - 10/10

What can I say? It’s Kenjiro Tsuda.

To elaborate, however-

Kenjiro Tsuda does an excellent job. I’m not sure if I’d call it his best work, but even if it is voiced, I think there’s some expectation for a mobile otome’s voicework to be phoned in. This is not the case and Tsuda’s acting gives a lot of life to the character and scenarios. I’ll, uh, save my gushing for my line-by-line dissertation, and leave it at that.

What was unexpected was, despite not having sprites, minor characters do get voices! They also have some rather nice performances, and there was no VA I disliked listening to or whose performance was noticeably lacking compared to the others (the actual sound quality was consistent overall as well).

Overall - 8/10

Aside from the prologue, this is a solid performance from a mobile otome game. Compared to full-length otome games it’s lacking, but it’s still one of the better mobile otomes I’ve played. For the $6 you can get individual routes for on the mobile app, it’s a fun, quick romp that was perhaps not necessarily what was advertised (regarding the actual summary), but instead met the expectations I dared to dream of. While I can’t vouch for the game in its entirety, I can, at the very least, vouch for this route.

Comprehensive Overlook + Personal Rating - 10/10

Okay, I’ve been objective as possible despite this being a very subjective topic and now it’s time for me to shill my little heart out.

Writing a standard fare review for this game was really really hard for me because against all odds, logic, and my own taste preferring shit like Hakuouki, I’m in love with this game. Obsessed with it. Half the reason why I’m doing this is because it is a totally unremarkable (though, again, fun) otome game so of course it doesn’t have, like, a community, but I need to fucking gush about it somewhere.

Why?

Because Soshi Amazaki literally hits every single husband trait I so dearly love. This route is the equivalent of if someone took my taste buds and analyzed each and every one of them, then cooked a meal precisely on my most loved things. It isn’t necessarily fine dining, but it feels like it was scientifically engineered to appeal directly to me. It’s like I was possessed and ghostwrote it. It’s like someone peered into my heart and teased out the essence of everything I’ve ever wanted, then told me to eat shit because the shell it’s rammed into is that of a bite sized otome game. I have never had such a feast before me. I’ve never been served such an exquisite palette of flavors. I have never been so thoroughly outraged that this is the form my heart takes.

And yet, I’m... pretty much satisfied, despite its flaws and shortness, with my only real outrage stemming from the fact there is literally nobody I can talk about this with (the morning after I binged the entire route I made my boyfriend play it just so I could rave like a lunatic to someone about it) as well as my shame for being so enamored with what is essentially a mediocre otome game.

I talked about how the story kind of went off the rails 2/3rds of the way through, but honestly? I didn’t care because the payoff was incredible. Was I scared the game wasn’t going to end up where I wanted it to while it was happening? Was I prepared to be immensely disappointed because I felt, briefly, like I was baited and that of course nothing would never let me have my cake and eat it too? Yep. But you know what? I don’t know or care if it’s because I set the bar so low or what, but my expectations were thoroughly blown out of the water.

I’m still committed to making even this part of the review spoiler free, so I won’t be going into depth about what I loved (I’ll save that for another post because this is long enough as it is), but I’ll add this apart from just character archetype and themes being what I loved.

That is, shockingly enough and even considering the pacing and, ahem, weirdness - this is a route where everything seems to serve a function. Again, the story isn’t necessarily deep, and while perhaps I would’ve gone about certain things a different way (and had there been space allotted for greater development), there are many, many, many things that are called back to or that seem insignificant, but serve as thematic backbone and create delicious implications.

As a big brother connoisseur, I give this route 3 Michelin Stars.

If you followed me for/like Fire Emblem’s Marx/Xander, I highly recommend this route.

#long post #the charming empire #soshi amazaki #otome game review #otome game

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the1959project · 5 years

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July 17, 1959

Billie Holiday dies at New York’s Metropolitan Hospital (97th Street and First Avenue) of complications from cirrhosis. She was 44.

youtube

Below I’ve embedded a three-part series by William Duffy, who ghostwrote her autobiography, that ran in the Chicago Defender immediately after she passed. A lot of the facts he includes about her life have since been disputed, but he was, at least, there in her hospital room.

The most important writing on Holiday’s death, I think, is James Baldwin’s piece “On Catfish Row,” which Commentary has unhelpfully locked on its site.

There is also Frank O’Hara’s famous, excellent poem “The Day Lady Died” (thanks to Mark Stryker for the reminder!).

Any fan of Billie Holiday, and frankly, of American music, must read Farah Jasmine Griffin’s If You Can't be Free, be a Mystery: In Search of Billie Holiday.

#1959 #the1959project #billie holiday #jazz

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easyrevenge · 5 years

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The world needs more rimming fics. Or at least .. I need it lol

i must have ghostwrote this. to myself.

sort of....spoilers? but there’s a significant rimming scene coming up in a chapter of one of my fics, so. 🙃 sooon.

#asks

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nicosmh · 5 years

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╰ * ✧ ˖ SHE WAS LOVELY. THEN THINGS CHANGED. ‖ have you seen NICO HAMADA at the beach recently? i remember them being so PASSIONATE, but they seemed a little HESITANT today. it must be tough going through such hard times at only TWENTY-THREE. even then, they still remind me of PERMANENTLY EXHAUSTED FEATURES, MUSIC SHEETS SCATTERED ALL OVER THE ROOM, ODDLY SHAPED CLOUDS, and BALLS OF FLUFFY, PASTEL YARN.

i’m dee, and i never sleep. let’s get it started -- shall we ??

tl;dr and headcanons --- big family, big money and even bigger pressure. a whole ass cutie. true personification of an exclamation mark at times. memes, memes, memes. says and writes things that sometimes make one wish they were jared, nineteen. will steal your dog, cat or literally any animal, ever. a toss up between the mom friend and the wine aunt. most likely to befriend everyone’s parents ( probably because she can’t stand her own ). a terrible cook, -5/10 would not trust her in the kitchen. will refuse to get out of the car because her favourite song is playing on the radio. puns. yoda jumped out. many would say she’s a trust fund baby on the lowkey, and they would be two hundred percent right... unfortunately.

nico mei hamada was born to a pretty affluent and strict family that moved to the states when she was just five years old. she may have not experienced the so-called ‘culture shock’ too much, seeing as she was tiny, but she still kind of feels out of place to this day ( not that she would ever have the guts to admit it, though ).

with her mother being a composer, herself, nico’s parents decided to sign her up for piano classes. safe to say, she didn’t particularly enjoy being told what to do from day one, and she didn’t know what she disliked more -- the pressure to do something she didn’t want, or the classes themselves.

but... later, she grew to appreciate the fact that they’ve decided to put her through something like that. nico had found new hobby, her new passion -- something that she could possibly consider her one true love. she fell in love with the technique, the music and everything else that entailed the magical world of instruments. she could go ahead and admit that this was the only thing that was making her truly happy.

as the time went on, she had picked up guitar and violin, having been focused on piano nonetheless. she didn’t necessarily wanted to overwhelm herself with the amount of instruments she had to keep up with. but, was it really hard for her? not really. it was her hobby, something she genuinely enjoyed doing. she was convinced that if she ended up doing what she liked, she would never have to struggle with it.

juggling between attending private high school and music school didn’t exactly belong to the easiest of tasks, but she managed to find the perfect balance. she could admit that having one or two friends and that’s it was pretty helpful. if she wanted to be the best of the best in her craft, she had to make some sacrifices and nico was aware of it.

after years, upon years of hard work ( majoring in music production in college and so on ), nico joined the ranks of an orchestra and she finally felt like she’d accomplished something that could make her family proud. they weren’t necessarily as vocal about it as she’d wished them to be, so maybe this thing would change it? and it did. if one could only imagine her mother’s face when nico told her the good news...

unfortunately, having found it too stiff and boring ( her words, not mine ) for such a charismatic being she was, she decided to leave. no hard feelings. nothing. it was just that. even her parents expressed that they weren’t exactly that surprised about her decision. apparently, they knew her daughter all too well, and it showed. they were still, however, disappointed... which wasn’t a new thing to her. nico was grateful for their calm reaction, no matter what -- she wouldn’t know what to do if they reacted in a different way, really.

her decision made her father think that she was thinking about taking over his business -- he couldn’t be any more wrong, though. it’s not that nico wouldn’t want to help her parents out with anything, it’s just that she clearly had no interest in anything business-related. and that made mr. hamada change from a supporting father to someone who was giving her an ultimatum. all or nothing, so to speak. she was supposed to either take up necessary classes and learn about everything that has to do with owning a tech company, or at least make sure to help them out when they needed it the most.

how could she do that when there was no prior motivation, nor reason for her to be there? why did they put her through music school and everything else if they wanted her to become a businesswoman? it made no sense to nico. when she explained her point of view to her father, he lashed out, deciding to end all the forms of contact with her -- not without telling the girl how disappointed in her he was, of course.

nico’s mom tries her best to keep in touch with her, but every single conversation they have just ends with an argument. that doesn’t necessarily stop her from allowing nico spend their money, though. she thinks this might be something that will persuade her to change her mind. little did she know... it won’t do anything. she wants nothing to do with it.

now, without that much to do, nico is considering having a little bit of a break to experience everything she didn’t have the chance to do when she was growing up -- whether it be parties, getting a first tattoo... chopping a huge chunk of her hair off, things like that. she figured, that having a social life will be so much easier now that she has the time to actually indulge in all of these things. she’s got a whole new world to explore, and she won’t stray from throwing her parents’ money around.

once she decides that her time off moment is over, she wants to find a job that she will actually feel satisfied with. she sells the songs that she’s composed and written the lyrics for, but she also wants to start recording demos for herself, and maybe even do some odd jobs on the side. but... that is something she definitely needs to take her sweet time with -- nico had found herself enjoying the lavish lifestyle she secretly craved ever since she was a teenager.

it’s more than safe to say that her closet and most shelves are filled with notebooks containing unfinished songs and random thoughts that were too precious to her to throw away. lyrics about falling in love, heartbreak -- anything one could expect from someone who went through it in such a short amount of time.

during summer vacation, three years ago, nico met elise. the two quickly hit it off and became each other’s first everythings. the pair was inseparable for the time being -- with elise choosing to pursue her degree in politics, the girl had to move a couple of states away. they swore to each other that it would never let it affect their relationship. at first, everything was going swimmingly well, as it should, but then... things started to get messier and messier. obviously...

nico couldn’t possibly put the blame on the girl, at first. after all, she was busy, right? well... as the time went on, elise started to avoid any means of contact with her, chalking it up to being buried under the books and working on essays and whatnot. seemed believable enough. again, nico couldn’t really question it, because she knew that her major was one of the toughest ones out there. it wasn’t quite right, still.

after a long month filled with nothing but waiting and sleepless nights, nico decided to officially end the relationship only to find out that her now ex had found someone new, someone who goes to the same university as her. safe to say, it drove nico mad. how could she even think she was good enough for someone like elise? it made her wonder whether she was just a temporary place in the other’s bed, and even if her feelings for her were real. at this point, it could literally be anything.

it’s already been a year since it all happened, and while she might not act like she’s been affected by her ex-girlfriend ghosting on her without giving her a reason and finding someone new, nico is definitely FEELING it all. she’s just... not vocal about it, because why should she be? apparently, that’s what happens when you trust someone so much, and let them lead you on for so long. nico was convinced that having a long distance relationship with someone would be a piece of cake, but boi, was she dead wrong...

nico decided not to look for any kind of consolation from people. she is just... there, aimlessly going through the day, making a complete fool out of herself, probably as a defense mechanism. despite not seeking help for herself, she’s always down to talk about everything with just about anyone, because she’s That kind of person, really. don’t let that fool you, though! she’s grown a backbone over the years of acting like a doormat, and she truly won’t hesitate to voice her opinion if something is bothering her. she is a nice person and that will truly never change, though.

more headcanons:

she is, and i cannot stress this enough, baby

but you know, she’s a baby that can snap

( yes, that’s a thing, fight me )

a pretty good dancer ( duh ), doesn’t do anything about it, though

a gym rat -- eats healthy most of the time, works out four times a week

music-wise, nico’s songs are a mix of nina ne/sbitt, king pr/incess and to/ve lo

ghostwrote a couple of songs for famous and semi-famous artists

and with that come the royalties, obviously......

...royalties that can cover up the cost of everything she needs, but you know... she’s saving that up and still uses the family’s money -- very Smart™ of her, lbr

( still under an nda, so... she can’t talk about it... yet )

huuuuuuge paramore fan

doesn’t drink much, prefers to smoke a bowl... or five

has to wear glasses most of the time -- does not do that

fluent in three languages -- japanese, english and french

sarcasm is up in there, as well, but i am convinced that it doesn’t count

knits a LOT

connection ideas ( not limited to only that, of course !! ):

fellow musicians ;; you know these people that fire off the creativity fuse ?? jam sessions until the early hours of the morning ?? staying on the phone for hours on end ?? friendly banter on social media ?? things like that. and who knows ?? there might be a few collaborations on projects, too ?? ( open ;; 1/?? )

saltmates ;; honestly, their entire relationship is based around the two of them being bitter together. whenever one of them is pissed, they just let the other know and they get together, pour a glass of wine or juice or what-have-you, and hash it out. ( open ;; 1/?? )

bad timing ;; for some reason or another, something always gets in the way of whatever they have. maybe they’re just not ready to commit at the time when the other is, or one’s in a relationship with someone else when the other was finally available. ( open to f ;; 0/?? )

unrequited feelings ;; is it just friendly, or is there a lot of sexual tension? either way, this can be plotted whether nico is the one to have feelings, or vice versa. they’re not entirely deep where one person is madly in love with the other, but enough to the point where tension is sparked. ( open to f ;; 0/1 )

unlikely friend ;; someone nico thought she would never be friends with but finds herself being friends with regardless. she definitely admires them for being who they are and genuinely has a great time whenever she hangs out with them, despite all their differences. ( open ;; 0/?? )

acquaintance ;; if you asked nico about that person, she would probably say they just “know” each other. she doesn’t ask them any questions, they don’t talk or meet up as much, but they still somewhat do care about one another. they just trust each other like that. they seem to be passing each other by a lot. ( open ;; 0/?? )

#tsunamintro #// okay .. it's unnecessarily long but.. y'all should know i never shut up fkdjfkjaskdk

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benperorsolo · 6 years

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What frustrates me about some Reylo interpretations of Kylo is how they characterise Kylo as having a natural affinity to the dark, like using it is easier for him. And I don’t think “started beating on his own would as self-harm/to generate enough Dark side fuel to get through a duel” Ben Solo has any affinity for the dark: I think it’s more interesting if he’s pushing himself to the dark, no matter how painful and difficult it is, if he’s doing that to himself kicking and screaming.

OKAY I MUST HAVE SENT THIS MESSAGE TO MYSELF BECAUSE I GHOSTWROTE THIS

I cannot even articulate in words how upset this take makes me and how annoyed I am by how pervasive it is. It just makes me aihjsdlkfjg;sj because it’s blatantly non-textual and yet it won’t go away.

For one, no Force user who has to beg Darth Vader’s melted helmet to be forgiven for feeling the Light, and then beg for Darth Vader to show him the power of darkness is someone secured in their Dark powers. Ben has been on the Dark side for six years, during which we know he’s hurt and killed many people. And yet, after six years, he still feels the pull to the Light— again. This is not an isolated incident, but rather something that happens to Ben repeatedly. How often did this level of acute, articulated agony over the Light happen to Anakin after his fall? And this scene occurs before we ever see Ben’s face, or know his true name. All we know of this character is that he massacred a village and tortured a man. And then the film goes out of its way to show us that this same person, whom we had thought so unrepentantly evil, is actually deeply repentant. Is so repentant that he must beg for forgiveness for his sin of having a conscience that won’t go away. This is deep characterization. I’d argue that it’s the scene that most defines Ben’s character.

Moreover, not even after killing his own father does Ben fall permanently or completely to the Dark side. The entire reason Ben murders Han is because he believes it will make him stronger in the Dark— because he is killing what he loves; cutting ties to the things that bind him to the Light. He kills Han, point blank, in cold blood, and then— feels immediate regret and horror. You can see his face blossom with shock. The script itself says that Ben is ‘himself horrified.’ Not even for a single second is Ben empowered by his father’s murder, and then, in TLJ, Snoke literally tells Ben that his act of patricide split his spirit to the bone. Not even literal patricide gives Ben over to the Dark. His eyes never turn yellow. He never surges with power. In fact, he’s so traumatized from shock and blood loss that he ends his fight on the ground left for dead.

And what does Ben say, when Snoke mocks him for his pain after murdering Han? “I gave everything to you. To the Dark Side.”

Those aren’t the words of someone who thinks the Dark Side comes easy. Those aren’t the words of someone whom the Dark Side has been good to. Those are the words of someone who is crying out that he gave the Dark Side everything —his name, his innocence, his family, his father— and he has been given nothing in return. He has sacrificed everything. And sacrifice costs. It hurts. It does not come easily. And now, he has nothing. Absolutely nothing. Because that’s what the Dark Side does. It takes and it takes and it takes and it takes. And in the end you are left hollow.

And I quote this TLJ novelization passage all the time, but that’s only because it so perfectly encapsulates this:

“He called himself Kylo Ren, but as with so much else about him, that was more wish fulfillment than reality. He had never escaped being Ben Solo, or learned to resist the pull of the weak and pathetic light, or had the strength to exercise the sentimental streak that had destroyed his legendary grandfather.”

Snoke himself, aka Ben’s abuser and Dark master, the person whom Luke and Leia both blame for poisoning Ben’s mind to the Dark side, says that Ben has never escaped being drawn to the Light. He’s never escaped feeling sentiment— that is, being compassionate. After six years as Kylo Ren, Ben has never even managed to be that successfully. At the end of the day even Snoke, who kowtows to Ben’s ego and his fears of belonging by touting him as Vader’s heir, knows that he isn’t. That Ben is a naturally sentimental person drawn inexorably to the Light is 100% canon.

In the movies, Ben is never shown as being empowered by the dark side. His every attempt to harness it only brings him misery. He kills his father, and the act splits his spirit to the bone; as Luke says, Han will always be with Ben now, haunting him. He tries to fight Rey on Starkiller, and he is left scarred and bleeding in the snow. He takes over the First Order and tries to kill his uncle, only to have his uncle be an empty projection, leaving him looking only like a fool to his men. He storms Crait as the Supreme Leader of the First Order, and he’s left, bereft, empty and without peace, on his knees. Alone. Ben isn’t empowered by the Dark. He doesn’t feel at home there. It doesn’t come more easily for him. Ben is not torn apart because he has both light and dark inside of him and he can’t give up the Dark Side else he won’t be whole. He’s torn apart because Ben is naturally called to the Light; it’s where, as LST says, he comes from, and it’s where he belongs. It is the Dark that is tearing Ben apart, because Ben is a good man. Or rather, he ought to be one. He should be one. And he’s trying so hard to ignore his destiny— trying so hard to ignore what he’s meant to be.

#this is long because you've hit on anna's 1 pet peeve!!#nonnie #asks

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