#i much prefer when artists have more interesting an conceptual things to say

[bowlofmie]

Need to share:

Went to an artist talk yesterday. People have been talking about it quite a bit around the art building because he’s so famous. Guy was egotistical and kept name dropping. Oh well.

Talks about painting dinosaurs! Okay! I’ll note that for a question I can ask at the end. I’m really anxious but I try to ask at least one question at lectures I go to. I ask about James Gurney and if he had ever worked with him or come across him, because I really look up to him as a creative, and he makes some of the most interesting dinosaur paintings I’ve seen. I’ve also learned so much from his YouTube channel and it’s a really lovely space he’s created there.

Before I can get the whole question out, dude calls him lame, tells me other artists he likes more, and tells me to do my research when I don’t recognize them. No recognition whatsoever of his skill and expertise to at least cushion the insult. Ouch.

That’s all. Anyways, James Gurney is a delight and his work is much more interesting and technically impressive, and that’s on top of him being a kinder person

[nyanbinary-perineum]

Hypnosis for the kink game

REALLY not for me | No | Not really | Unsure | Neutral | Can be fun | Yes | FUCK YES | Literally one of my favorite things

I'd say it's a solid "yeah" range for me conceptually, and somewhere around No / Not really in practice.

Sometimes I'm really interested in reading or seeing some creative piece around hypnosis (I say that like it's rare lol) but it's not one of my big button kinks.

For instance I don't really have any interest in 'doing' it.

Hypno roleplay through text or in person feels difficult for me to participate in as hypnosis is a lot of trusting the power of suggestion, and willing yourself to follow instructions, and a lot of acting, and generally a theme that makes me feel like I'm channeling a scam artist or shady government official abusing psychedelics- I don't vibe and that's a me thing.

The reality of hypno in kink is pretty much just fun themed RP and sometimes training triggers for play, but I find it difficult to interact with or perform under.

I find acting it out to not be particularly enjoyable and the various 'payoffs' of the play not really for me. Like having a dazed partner following my orders is somehow LESS exciting when hypno is involved- so clearly it's not entirely My Thing, I much prefer feeling like I earn such reactions more directly I suppose?

For a story or other piece of art? 10/10, I'm a fan. In fiction I rather enjoy it. I've had my fun around hypnohub or exploring various artists works on it for sure~

Participating in the kink directly? Not for me. I do think it's a cute kink though :3

[vergess]

sorry if this is an odd ask to send out of nowhere but i thought your mlp post was really interesting! could you go further into detail about what you think the show does wrong in later seasons? you don't have to, i'm just curious since i really like the show and it's been one of my hyperfixations for a very long time & you have really interesting takes/meta on things in general

thank you for your time!! :3

It very much gets "less about girls" as it progresses. People's background friends/family are suddenly almost always male, for example, with Fluttershy getting a brother, Rainbow Dash's other school friends being male, her dad being more prominently played than her mom, things like that.

This isn't even a bad thing!

While I would argue, and have before, that a show almost exclusively about women is an important thing for the media landscape compared to the glut of All About Men shows?

The reality is that any artistic lens that focuses exclusively on a single gender is going to be worse for it, if for no reason other than where are the trans people.

A truly "gender neutral gaze" would be the ideal, but to be honest I don't even know what that might look like. I can at least conceptualize the female gaze out from existing, limited examples of female led production for a female audience.

But in terms of, IDK, a trans-led production for a genderqueer/neutral audience, I don't even know it that kind of thing exists. It must, because well, trans people are everywhere in the indie arts, but I have never seen it.

Certainly I've never seen it around a kid's show. And one of the things that makes kid media so easy to analyze is, the "allowed" topics are fairly limited. When sex is off the table, you can devote that time to deepening friendships. When men are off the table, you can spend that time deepening female characterization. etc etc.

So anyway, while I would say a female gaze is preferable to a male one in this male dominated society, both have their deep shortcomings. The way MLP handled male characters in S1 by either not having them, or having them be kind of the butt of the joke (Spike) isn't actually a good thing, just a very different one than is common. And there are plenty of ways that the show mistreated Spike particularly for Being A Boy that would make me hesitate to suggest season 1 to, say, trans masc viewers.

But then there are some ways that I can safely say later seasons are just worse.

The fat jokes, for example, were Not A Thing in S1 and as a fat viewer that was a huge relief at first, which became a sharp slap in the face as characters began making fun of heavy eating or using obese background ponies as gross out gags, etc.

On the other hand, the racism very much was present from the beginning, as evidenced by Over A Barrel's portrayal of native americans as literally another species. And that's before we get into the sheer racism of pony colonialism in the first place. Also Zecora the Zebra's... situation. Which was okay as a one off bit in S1, trying if not succeeding at the message of "different=/=bad."

But, like many of these early flaws, the later seasons magnify the problem, especially when the show tries to approach real world issues. Just off the top:

Zecora becomes the magical negro whose mystic knowledge transcends that of the pony gods.

Gryphons become antisemitic stereotypes, obsessed with cash hoarding and isolationism.

Yaks live in technologically inferior wastelands of Yakyakistan, where they are loud, rowdy, and even dangerous.

Dragons are... just... really fucking bad, like by nature, with rare "good ones" going to live among ponies to become civilized.

The fucking saddle arabians apparently just Not Having Perfomance Art and needing to be taught by Trixie.

The kirin being very literally silent to show how zen they are, needing Westerners to give them back their voices.

The sheer audacity to bring Little Strongheart back in the fucking finale and "assign" her as Applejack's token buffalo friend (not even RD???) after AJ and her family nearly wiped the buffalo out and fully never fucking apologized

There's definitely more. Basically every single non-pony species shown to be sapient ends up some kind of a racist mess. At least cows are just like... white people from wisconsin so there's less racism inherent to their depiction but even then...

There are also ways in which the attempts to cater to a male audience weaken the show's overall presentation. Ponies with adult men's human meme images as cutie marks started popping up, for example, which is again not a bad thing, but weakens the overall fantastical world building.

Likewise, the attempts to modernize the setting are... um. Let's go with uneven.

In S1 technology is firmly pre-industrial Euro-Fantasy. I'd put it around 1770-1800 in the human western world.

By S2 there is an electrical grid even in "small" towns like ponyville, something which in the human world didn't take place until about150 years later, with another 50 years to roll out things like video games, which also start appearing.

But only for ponies.

Never for the other species.

I get why they did that. It's a "have your cake and eat it too" scenario where they can keep the pre-industrial fantasy tech level sometimes, but use a modern tech level at other times. It opens up more storytelling options. And it's not like the magical horse universe needs to obey our physics and timelines.

But then why only ponies.

All that does is deepen the racial division between ponies and other species. Which the later seasons LOVe to do. Deepen racial divieds.

After all, in S1 most other species (cows, gryphons, etc) were shown to live in equestria too. But in later seasons, are revealed to live in cloistered ethnostates nominally self ruling but in practical terms subservient to the equestrian state if they want basic rights like the fucking sun.

Which acts to retcon Spike's hatching and adoption from something very heartwarming into something very horrific.

Honestly, the "male gaze" is not the issue I have with late seasons of MLPFIM. It very much comes down to "this show got SO fucking racist SO fucking fast what the FUCK."

And that probably would have happened with all female writers and directors, too, if they were mostly white.

This all makes me sound like I hate MLP, but I promise you, all of this criticism comes from a place of utmost love. This show is really, REALLY good. It is charming, beautifully animated, excellently directed, with passion poured into every aspect of the visuals, the audio, the stories, the characters...

That's what makes these constant missteps so painful to encounter.

Because the highs are so high!

I mean, the movie easily constitutes the best 2D animation out of the western world in DECADES and every track on the album is a banger, and that's just the movie. Cartoon movies aren't exactly noted for their stunning quality, but MLPFIM sure as fuck stuns.

And when the highs are that high, oh man, the lows look lower by comparison.

[diorgirl444]

Heya! May I request a male ship for Narnia? I can ship you in return (but chosen fandoms will be a surprise) Thank you so much!

𝗦𝗘𝗫𝗨𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬/𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗡𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗦: Biromantic Pansexual and Genderfluid; He/They (though I'm biologically woman irl)

𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘: 21 years old, 5'1.5", Southeast Asian (Filipino). Chubby with messy shoulder length brunette hair, chocolate brown eyes, and a small beauty mark on my forehead. Feminine Tomboy or Soft Vintage (like Malia Tate's style from Teen Wolf) but loves to wear Korean makeup style

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬: Libra-Scorpio cusp, Slytherin with patronous spirit of Hummingbird, INFJ, my enneagram is 4w5 and Neutral Good. I may have a slight introverted tendencies and awkward/anxious nature, I describe myself as fiery, swears like a sailor, confident, jokester, and, passionate. Religious, super talkative, sometimes hyper (because of excitement), giggly (I always laugh/snort for stupid reasons), nerdy, also sweet and nice though I can be aloof, intimidating, and scary when I get so angry. I tend to become really fiesty, stands boldly on what I believe (claiming myself as a realist though some of my views doesn't makes sense), unbothered to be myself, stubborn, young-at-heart, clumsy unfortunate and inattentive. Would don't give af towards the people that I hate, sarcasam and savagery is my main language. But on the other side, I overthink a lot and cry over small things many times which I sound like a drama queen, and a perfectionist that provokes even more, yet recognizes a soft spot for dumb jokes, cheesy pickup lines and prefer people with a good sense of humour who see myself as equal. Chill in academics, but very competitive that manages to the top even for my dreams---I'm very dedicated on what I want for my life, and I display modesty and gracefulness towards some people that deserves respect. One notable feature about her is her multi-potentiality due to being naturally gifted in artistic fields (this includes singing).

𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦/𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗦: Arts, choir, poetry, karaoke, literature, history, makeup, beauty pageants, fun/deep/dumb conversations, expanding my knowledge in Christianity, documentaries (about saints), reading interesting stuffs, talking about social issues, and creative writing, chilling both indoors and outdoors

𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦: Stereotyping, obligation (without a logical reason), getting excluded, being interrupted, invalidating my feelings, judgemental people, telenovelas, hypocrites, dirty bathrooms, blackout, lightning, firecrackers, toads, snakes, cockroaches, toxic masculinity, misogyny, fake woke individuals, colonial mentality, and absurdly girly things

𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦: Drawing, singing, dancing when nobody's around (I'm very bad at it), sharing nerdy or opinionated thoughts, walking like a model (if I ever feel so confident), sleeping, listening to music (2000s, rock, kpop, and EDM), chatting or browsing on social media, watching videos on YouTube, making terrible jokes/puns, watching cartoons, writing, cooking, reading interesting things, and conceptualizing my artworks. I also used to study Italian language a bit

your perfect matchup is 𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐞 💌

𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 <𝟑

𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝟐 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 <𝟑

i can definitely see you meeting peter after the events second of the second movie. 

like you’re on the train on the way to school just minding your business, probably writing in a notebook, and then you hear noise.

some boy is bickering with his siblings about something, they keep subtly gesturing to you so you’re safe to say very confused.

because like what have you got to do with him, absolutely nothing! yet…..

eventually the boy sighs and goes to sit in the empty space next to you.

you’re understandably a little bit offended because it feels like he didn’t want to sit next to you.

till he turns to you and says “did you see all that over there?” you nod looking slightly irritated by him but he quickly says “before you come to the idea that i didn’t want to sit next to you i wanted to clarify that it wasn’t that at all. you see in fact i think you’re so pretty and i was worried that i’d do something stupid in front of you.” he looks incredibly apologetic and you say that he hasn’t done anything stupid at all!!! however if he does want to make it up to you he could always go out for a meal with you.

he instantly agrees and it’s safe to say that from now on every journey you took, be it on train, plane, bus or just life itself, you took it together.

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 <𝟑

i feel that you and peter are that couple that everyone knows is gonna tie the knot one day. 

like to the other pevensie’s your already part of the family so they’re just waiting for the day you and peter make it official. 

till then though let’s discuss what you’re like simply in the dating stage.

ok can i just say you and peter are always and i mean always saying dumb pick-up lines it makes the two of you equally entertained and flustered and you always try to catch the other one out.

in contrast he also loves having long deep chats about topics such as christianity or social issues with you. he just finds you such an interesting person. 

he loves your singing voice he thinks it the most gorgeous sound in the world so he’ll always get you to sing to him.

he’ll also love slow dancing with you at home, just imagine him softly wrapping his arms around you and humming some old love song whisking you around your kitchen.

oh how lucky you are.

i can assure if there’s any animal that you dislike around you peter, hero complex, pevensie will get rid of it for you. 

another thing that you two often do together is watching a documentary. peter’s ideal day is sat in front of an interesting documentary snuggling with you.

basically like the other pevensie’s i’m wondering when the two of you are gonna get married because you two are cute as can be!!!

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐚𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 <

hugs and kisses, flo

[0poole]

I LOVE No Straight Roads

Honestly it’s hard to keep me away from a game with great visuals and even greater character design. I knew from the INSTANT I saw these characters that I was going to love it. I just finished it because it’s (unfortunately) pretty short, and even though I cheesed the final boss through it’s very lenient death mechanics (Instant respawn at the cost of a good rank) I actually appreciated that it wasn’t a pure cake walk. I’ve yet to rematch all of the bosses, but since I had genuine trouble with the later ones I’ll hold off on that.

But who cares about gameplay, am I right? I sure as hell don’t. I would’ve bought the game no matter what the hell it was. I wanted the characters (and the music, although I realized that second) and that was it. 

First of all, I love any world that is super fantastical but cheesy in its concept, ala a city powered by music, and battles between artists using music. Ideas like this only spawn from a mind that wants to create a fun atmosphere, if nothing else, and it was sure as hell fun. I genuinely love when someone goes so far into a crazy idea and doesn’t waste your time explaining it with real world logic. Wanna know how a city can be powered by music? Shut up and look at the cute virtual mermaid. Lord knows I did. Every once in a while, it does you good to just let the player/reader/viewer just revel in the idea without having to go out of your way to make things seem realistic. It’s not about “turning your brain off” or whatever, it’s picking your battles.

Also, I can seriously love a world with great background characters to it. Any game with the right situation to insert the random nobodies you find onto the streets into the art in the credits really played into the greatness of the world’s less important characters, and that’s always a good thing. It’s technically world building. But, since I always love to pick favorites, I’d have to say my favorite background character is easily Mia, the NSR infodesk assistant. It’s funny, because you can literally search “nsr characters” into Google and she’s the third image result. I love how jumpy she is when you first interact with her, since NSR probably spread the word about B2J suggesting they’re rock thugs who’d beat up anyone, so for all she knows she could die right then and there with a guitar lodged in her skull. She’s probably just some intern trying to pay for college. She don’t want trouble.

Also, I just realized that 90% of the characters in this game have the same body structure that I always love, that being having arms/legs that sort of fan out in width into relatively large hands/feet. It’s a kind of limb structure I fall into so much because it just really hits me right for some reason. I really can’t explain why.

Anyways, I gotta talk about the big boys individually:

Mayday and Zuke are an amazing duo. I’m always a sucker for a cute and crazy girl, but honestly Zuke hit so many of the right notes too. I will say it’s weird to pair the martian Zuke with the humanly-skinned Mayday, but honestly it doesn’t even matter because he looks so cool on his own. I love his weird blocky blue dreadlocks, and his weirdly shaped shirt which bares his chest in the weirdest way... And, oh my god, Mayday’s weird Spongebob background flower eyes? It’s little tidbits like that that really make me jealous. How could I have ever thought of that? It looks so perfect, and I don’t know why. And her little booty jig she does in her idle animation? Adorable. I played as her as much as was reasonable not only because I’m a filthy button masher with little strategy but also because she’s so damn cute. I can also appreciate how she has a tough-as-nails persona while still keeping a semi-girly attitude, like with her falling for 1010 and Sayu. Characters are so much better when they’re a perfect blend of characteristics, instead of being all one-note, like how Zuke is the quiet one but gets heated against DK West, and all. 

Honestly the voice acting for every character is great, but I love when Mayday’s VA’s accent shows through. It’s a perfect twang to accent (consider this the only acknowledgement of a pun in this post) her snarkiness. 

DJ Subatomic Supernova was going to be an easy favorite since he’s all space-themed. Also, I don’t know why I always end up liking the egotistic characters. Not in the sense that I like their egotistic-ness, but in the sense that I like everything else about them and they just so happen to also be egotistic. The same applied with Empoleon (maybe like my 2nd favorite Pokemon) and Rarity from MLP, probably among others. Either way, I’ll never not love space themes. Not to mention he’s got a funky disco theme, and I’m slowly starting to realize that I am in extreme love with techno-funk styles of music. The instant I heard his music he cemented his place into my playlists. 

As for design, I still have no idea what the fuck he is. Clearly AI is at human levels in this world, but if he’s a robot why does he still have hairy legs? But, if he’s a human, is that weird orb his head? Is it just some sort of puppet which he controls from inside his giant jacket? I know I dissed explaining things realistically but I actually want to know with this guy. Even the wiki doesn’t say. Either way, he’s clearly the logical extreme of “being at the center of your own universe.” Even his jacket depicts a solar system, with his hood being the sun. Didn’t see that until I tried to draw him. I really wish this guy wasn’t so tied to his DJ stand so I could reasonably draw him without it. I don’t want to draw his hairy ass legs. It is a great touch for his design though (although I prefer his beta look with pants and long boots, another design trait I tend to gravitate to) since DJs could reasonably not wear pants, since they’re always behind a table.

Sayu is my favorite. It’s so plainly obvious. It’s weird to say that sometimes, because some characters like Sayu are so clearly engineered to be as adorable as possible, to the point where they’re basically a parody of whatever they’re supposed to be emulating, but then they do that so well that they are still likable for what they’re trying to parody. Also, even though I’ve never looked into any vocaloid superstars myself, the fact that they exist and are loved in real life is absolutely perfect to be used as a character design in a world like this. It’s so weird conceptually, but we all know it’s normal and realistic. But yeah, she’s a giga-cutie whom I’ve already drawn and I’ve listened to her theme on loop on many different occasions. Favorite character, favorite track, favorite weapon of choice (What did I say about Empoleon?), which, and I wouldn’t have noticed this myself, looks like the USB symbol you see above USB ports on computers. How crazy perfect is that?

Even apart from my unbridled love for cute monster robot(?) girls, her boss fight is probably the 2nd greatest of them all, at least conceptually. She’s just a hologram, so you can’t touch her, but you CAN disconnect the artists which control her in order to defeat her. It’s the kind of concept for a boss fight that could only work for this type of character. I’m a sucker for the cute girl that provides her voice, but I love how the animator (video editor? the yellow one) actually attacks you with a mouse and lowers the brightness of the setting once he appears. Also, the mocap guy being the deeply-voiced type but still providing the adorable movements of her body. It’s such a great combo of characters, and their little extra art in the credits makes me like them even more. I just wish we could interact with them individually.

DK West was probably one of the most interesting characters visually, especially since I knew of every other NSR member long before the game came out, but I only just heard of him closer to the release. I wasn’t sure where he was placed, but I definitely assumed his gig was the weird shadow demon we saw in the trailers. When I finally saw him in game, I was shocked to hear him speak an entirely different language most of the time, which was really cool. Also, finding out he was tied to Zuke and wasn’t strictly an NSR artist really made him more interesting. You know, if his fucking shadow clone magic didn’t make him crazy cool enough. Even though I suck at his game and am not especially fond of his raps, the visual of him rapping with this giant monster behind him and dozens of weird shadow wingmen by his side hyping him up was probably one of the coolest in the entire game. The dark way they were hyping him up too gave such a bizarre atmosphere, especially since it parallels his seemingly chill and smiley demeanor. 

I definitely hope they’ll introduce new bosses as DLC in the future, and make them sort of in the same vein as DK West, where they aren’t the biggest artists ever, but they want to pick a fight with B2J. I’d kill for any extra content this game can provide.

Yinu is obviously special since she was the subject of the demo they put out for the game. Even though I knew all her bells and whistles, she and her mom still beat me a few times in the full game. Considering she’s semi-tied to story-ish spoilers I kinda want to go more into her in a separate section. It is worth considering playing the game first since it’s not hard (with the easy going deaths) and it’s short length.

1010 seriously grew on me as I learned more about them and interacted with them. I got their shtick when I first looked at them, but after seeing that animation of them touring the city on Youtube I was kinda falling for them. Then, I learned that they’re apparently repurposed navy war robots? I mean, maybe not them specifically, but it seems to heavily point in that direction, with the warship cars and “attention!”s and all. It took me a bit to get into their music too, but once I actually fought them and put their actions to the music I fell in love with it. I swear, Neon J’s weird dancing can has some of the smoothest moves in all of gaming. I don’t know whether they mocapped out those movements or got one of the greatest animators ever, but it looks so impossibly clean his part of the song gets me like 30x more hype than it would normally. 

Also, their little art piece of them looking at fan mail in the credits is probably one of the most adorable things ever. Even if they’re just Neon J’s puppets, that piece of art really makes it seem like they love every one of their fans. I’m not gonna lie, I might swoon a bit too if they picked me out and gave me some special attention.

Oh yeah, and the fact that Mayday was super sad in her showstopper against them was adorable and hilarious at the same time. The little tweaks they made to the showstopper for each fight were great.

Eve just has to be Lady Gaga, right? Like, an even crazier Lady Gaga. DJSS is Daft Punk (or any artist with a helmet persona, you know what I’m talking about), Sayu is Hatsune Miku, DK West is Kanye West, Yinu is a generic child protege, 1010 is a KPop boyband (just pick one) and Eve is Lady Gaga. That’s just how things are. But, again, this is the kind of boss fight that only this type of character could provide. It’s not just surreal imagery, it’s ARTISTIC surreal imagery. The fight is so mesmerizing in every way, especially by how it starts off so slow and calm and progresses to insanity, as well as the increased emotional investment in the fight making you feel so much more into it than just “That’s the boy band. Let’s fight.” Not only does it get you more invested, but it makes her artistic persona go deeper than just “she looks weird.” She is genuinely conflicted about her relationship with Zuke, and naturally that leads her to literally split him and Mayday apart. That mechanic specifically was the coolest, although I do wish they made it more obvious when you needed to switch over to a different side. I was getting pulverized by her fight too, since there were so many things to pay attention to. Her fight was definitely the best one. 

Tatiana and Spoilers:

Let’s be real with ourselves, the twist was so obvious. I do also think, though, that obvious twists aren’t bad if they’re just good reveals. At some point, a person just has experienced so many stories that “only pretty good” twists are easy to spot. It doesn’t mean that the twists are bad, it just means you yourself experienced.

I feel like her transition from rock to EDM was pretty understandable, even as a non-musician. She was so caught up in what she assumed was popular that it basically consumed her. It’s easy as an artist to want to forgo what you truly want to make in favor of what makes you popular, and clearly since her transition to EDM made her the CEO of the biggest company in the city (world?) that probably made her think she truly needed to change her outlook. Then, when she saw B2J try to bring it back, she sort of coined them as being as misguided as she was and knocked them down a peg. Plus, they were kinda being jerks about it.

It’s kinda like the Trolls sequel, where everyone pegs rock music fanatics as being too stuck up in their own heads to appreciate other types of music, which honestly seems more like the case than the alternative. When I first heard of the story of the game, I was seriously hoping they did put an asterisk on B2J’s ambitions because they were a bit sketchy from the start. 

That’s kinda where I want to talk about Yinu, because she was the true turning point in what they were doing. She’s literally 9 and yet she’s getting dragged into all this BS. When she said “I hate you all” at the end of her fight, and played a somber tune on her broken piano after the fight destroyed it, you kinda got a kick in the face to realize you’re kinda being an asshole to some of them. Sure, they fight back, but they wouldn’t fight in the first place if they didn’t have to. They are just people who play music under a joint name that B2J just so happened to get in hot water with. 

Then, of course, there’s Kliff, who also reeked of surprise villain, and who’s basically the embodiment of the bad side of B2J, where he just wanted to destroy for his own sake and not for the actual greater good. Once B2J realized their mistake, they backed off, but Kliff was so hard pressed to do what he planned on in the first place he wouldn’t stop. I kinda wish he got a bigger fight to his own since he’s clearly a big enough tech genius to divert a whole satellite into one specific building. Maybe the Elliecopter chase bit was his thing, but I do kind of wish he was there to fight against them too.

Even though Tatiana did kind of reform a bit quick, It’s still not too crazy to assume she could see that B2J was just misguided and the fact that they worked to revert their wrongdoings for her sake would make a pretty strong impressions. They clearly can hold their own, so it’s not like she wouldn’t want them to join NSR too. 

Oh yeah, and her boss fight was clock/time themed. If there’s a theme under space that I love, it’s clocks/time. 

And If I am to be respected by the internet, I must provide a negative opinion to balance out my positive one. I will say that the character model physics (like Mayday’s braids, DK West’s vest thing, Neon J’s fluffy neck thing, etc) got kinda funky at times. Especially DK West’s vest, which was completely messed up for every scene he was in... Also, even though the voices are mostly great, some lines felt a bit off. Just a bit. That good enough? Good.

But yeah anyway that’s another favorite game to add to the pile. Eventually I’m gonna have to compile a true list of my all-time favorite games/movies because I do kind of want to have a solid idea of what my all-time favorites are.

[camilliar]

recs for someone new to omgcp

[February 2021.]

Reading, or not reading, OMGCP fics has come up in a couple of conversations I’ve had recently with artists newish to the fandom (ie. @jovishark; @decafffff), who are making OMGCP art (!!!) but haven’t started exploring fic -- but maybe want to? Which of course reminded me that I’ve never bothered to make an actual, concrete recs list for this fandom. So, I mean. Here is one.

The approach is, what do I think about when I think about OMGCP fanfic? What comes to mind, what stands out to me? I have excluded some very popular fics. Some of these I just don’t think are very good, and others I do think are good, and/or I enjoy them, but I don’t see why you’d need me, specifically, to recommend them. I am thinking of a story like maybe i’m waking up, which I discuss below because I link to a podfic of it. It has a lot of merits, to be sure, but it’s the second-most-read fic in this fandom by hits, and it’s got thousands of comments, and it’s by an author whose work is relatively widely praised and circulated. I am not sure what telling you more about this fic will add to the conversation; if you want to find and read it, you inevitably will. I’m happy to, say, answer asks about these kinds of fics, or talk more generally about them via DM or whatever. Feel free.

Also, I don’t think there’s a point to pretending to be objective about fanfic; this list has a perspective and that perspective is mine. In this fandom I largely read stories that navigate the tension around Jack, Bitty, and Parse, in various permutations. This is not to say that I’ve never read fic about the frogs, or that I have no interest at all in other pairings, but I am by no means an expert on Dex/Nursey and can really only speak to the one fic about them that sticks out to me because it goes beyond being merely Dex/Nursey and does something else. This is just to say that I am sure there are great and interesting fics about other things and ideas--but I’m not the person to hear about those from.

Likewise, I’m not super interested in stories that really reproduce that which is already in OMGCP. I like Zimbits--albeit maybe not in the ways or for the reasons most fans would--but I do not really need to see endless iterations of the same story about them falling in love and being cute together. I don’t think these stories are bad or they shouldn’t exist or that they have no merit by default. Still, I don’t need fanfic to give me more OMGCP. I need fanfic to complicate, to comment on, and to transform OMGCP. Many people don’t work like this! Totally okay! But I can’t rec you fics that do that.

What I have noticed, however, is that over time there appears to have been a shift in how people do write fic for this fandom. (Other than, you know, increases and decreases in activity pending the status of the comic, pairings going in and out of vogue, and so on.) Early on, say during Y1 and Y2, the comic was about the group of friends having a cool time at college together; about whether the burgeoning attraction between Jack and Bitty would manifest and, if so, how; and, especially, Jack’s past coming into fuller view for Bitty and how it would have to be dealt with in order for a relationship between them to work. YMMV on how great the comic executed there, but as Y3 went on these themes increasingly disappeared from the story. I think this means a lot of fic written over 2015-2016 or 2017 has one kind of tone, and was written mostly around these questions; after that, it feels like a new crop of writers and a new crop of ideas started circulating, that is, either embracing Jack and Bitty’s canon relationship and accepting its relative straightforwardness in text--or deconstructing it, imagining what readers aren’t seeing, or how problems not dealt with in the comic would manifest later. People who have read my fic know which of these I’m mainly interested in exploring.

All of which is to say, looking at what I’m reccing here, when the fics were posted or when I first read them probably has a lot to do with why they stick out to me so much. Because there’s no real culture of fanfic criticism--and I mean that in the positivist sense of broad evaluation not explicitly for fault and merit but rather, for context--I think it’s really hard to keep this in mind. But I’m obnoxious and I can’t just be easy about things.

Fic recs

In alphabetical order, somewhat unsorted; if a stand-alone fic has a summary I’ve included it, but in other cases I’ve recced a couple of conceptually related fics or series, which I’ve tried to just describe or explain as opposed to copying the summary off AO3.

There are so many more fanfics I think are great and worth reading! In an ideal world I’d come back and add more later, or create a secondary list that’s more along the lines of “if you like this, read these,” or whatever. But, being realistic, this is a starter kit. I’m open to talking about fanfic.

- - - - - - - - - - -

7-0-2 by Idday; Friends in Low Places and Sorry for the Blood in Your Mouth; I Wish it was Mine by blue_rocket_frost | I’m not sure it would be correct to say that I don’t like Parse/Tater, or that I’m not interested in Parse/Tater. I’m not interested in Patater a priori; I think it could be interesting, with teeth. These fics stick out to me when I think about this pairing, because they feel different. Accusations of a preference for just linking any two white men who happen to be hanging around have validity, but because of what hockey is and how it works and who’s hanging around it, it’s not exactly a leap to imagine what kind of gritty spark the friction between two closeted NHL players would create. A little violence in your sex? A little sex in your violence.

A Sight Worth Seeing by sadtomato | A four-fic Jack/Bitty/Shitty/Lardo explicit BDSM series. Either you want that or you don’t. It’s nothing hardcore, and not properly a four-way, really; more properly a kind of voyeuristic round-robin. There’s a more open and egalitarian view of sex here than I really get from the characters in the back end of the comic. It’s an expansive, propulsive view of sex and relationships that’s really nice to see. I love Lardo's detached coolness, and Bitty as a smooth operator; if you’re looking for some kind of Dom/sub dynamics world, this really isn’t it, but it’s a lively exploration into the sexual dynamics in a group of friends that’s super close to the good-times vibe you get from Haus scenes in the first couple years of extras.

call me son (one more time) by Summerfrost, Verbyna, and blithelybonny | This is a series, incomplete, and you will love it or be massively put off by it. I mean that as a compliment. I love it. The premise is, Bob Zimmermann and Kent Parson have been having sex since Kent was, like, 19. Everyone in this story has been chewed up: by themselves, by each other, by hockey. Plainly, this is a pretty bleak view of what OMGCP, as a story, is supposedly offering. If you want fic that is dark and glamorous, treading the toxic melange of substance abuse, sex-as-sublimation, and so much money you can’t possibly throw all of it away without trying, this series has that sick-inducing shimmer to it. But, again, its strength is its examination of Kent Parson, textually and meta-textually, as someone to be projected onto. Bob, Alicia, Jack, and Bitty all impute certain feelings of their own onto him, displacing their own issues to a character who’s centralized in every fic but defies neat or total comprehension. Some critiques I’ve read of this series feel it’s too dark, and I’ve also seen it argued on FFA that an overwhelming amount of praise heaped onto these stories has made it tough for other writers to make headway in writing Bob/Kent fic. But I’m also not sure you could engage with Bob/Kent fic without going down this road at some point? I’m sure there are ways to scale it back, but ultimately it’s a story about how hockey’s violent, homophobic, old-guard gatekeeping has continued to set the terms for a younger and ostensibly less toxic culture. I fully embrace PWP fics that tread on the power dynamic without fully excavating it, but buried within any PWP is the fact that a 53-year-old man is ensnaring a 19-year-old, no matter how much the latter is, realistically, into it, and legally empowered to consent. Not to mention the dynamics of it being a 53-year-old man who is the father of the 19-year-old’s ex-boyfriend, and a 53-year-old man who is an eminence grise in the field the 19-year-old is trying to make a career in  The sexual element--the vaguely incestuous nature of it--is making textual the subtext of how hockey works, actually: objectification of teenage bodies as older men’s capital.

Coach Z by thistidalwave | Just before the 2009 NHL Entry Draft, tp prospect Jack Zimmermann overdoses on his anxiety medication and is admitted to rehab. His future turns from a clear-cut road to the top into an uncertain path filled with therapy appointments, ignored text messages, a group of boys who aren't there to teach him a lesson about himself, and, of course, hockey. | I keep reccing this fic because it has 360 comments on AO3 but nobody, as far as I can tell, has ever read it; it never appears on rec lists. This isn’t the kind of fanfic I usually go in for, but I can’t help being charmed by it. This is a character study in the truest sense, a kind of Mighty Ducks-but-better view on what Jack’s time coaching peewee hockey might have been like. I have no interest in kids and my own aesthetic is maybe a little darker than this, but I admire this story because it injects vibrancy into a period of Jack’s life that OMGCP has left largely unexplored, and so has the fandom. We know nothing about what made Jack want to go to college, nothing about how he spent his days in between juniors and Samwell. It posits a very sympathetic and patient Jack/Parse dynamic, showcasing the exact kind of ragged teenage push-and-pull that would have led to the circumstances we see in Parse I-III. The outside perspective Jack needs is largely present in an OFC who’s not a love interest. Super unique, somehow both engrossing and low-key.

#dirtbags by angularmomentum | A series that is a Kent Parson/Claude Giroux fuckfest with feelings. I’ve long suspected that Parse is popular in part because he is the character who most easily elides OMGCP with the actual NHL, or rather, NHL fandom; I think he made it appealing to write OMGCP fics where the NHL is a factor. Case in point, this series, which is basically “what if Kent Parson was a real hockey player and therefore part of NHL RPS”? I have only read some NHL RPS, so I’m not the person to assess accuracy, but what I do know is superstar IRL hockey players take turns here as the caricature fanfic versions of themselves, and since Kent Parson is already that, it’s great how seamlessly he integrates into their social fabric. Rambunctious energy peppered with regret and loss, but ultimately this series is farcical, and it doesn’t take its sentimental ending too seriously--which, good.

fated to pretend by nighimpossible | 5 Jack/Kent fics that Ransom and Holster dramatically reenact for the Haus + the truth. | As a fic format, 5+1 doesn’t usually work for me, but this one isn’t just front-loaded with five too-knowing vignettes; it then wraps up by using its +1 better than you might expect. Sometimes I talk about economy of fic, and this one exemplifies it. A zero-waste fic.

go ahead and move along by originally | "Leave, Parse," Jack says. Again. Or: Kent finds himself stuck in a time loop. | Kent Parson is trapped in a Groundhog Day scenario on the day of Epikegster. I’m sure you can imagine, just from that, what happens. And yet I think this fic is super entertaining, reserving some key surprises. What this story is doing is something a lot, and perhaps even the majority, of great Jack/Parse fic wants to do: digging into the question of just why this can’t work in comic canon. Most often this is approached from the past, by writing teenage Jack/Parse deep-dives that examine their lives mid-juniors, or by writing AUs where enough circumstances are shifted that it does work, or via future fics that posit enough growth has happened, and enough things have changed. But this fic makes Parse live the same bad day again and again, testing multiple theories about just how dependent on circumstance and incident real life actually is. Another day, another tone, 10 minutes sooner, not at all--you just can’t know why it didn’t work until you exhaust every possible variable. I worry that this rec has sucked the life out of the story, though--it’s so fun!

I Saw a Life and Strange Lovers by @bluegrasshole | Most AUs in this fandom seem to retell the story in a new setting or with some big detail change, following OMGCP’s rhythm beat-for-beat. I think of this as, “It’s the plot of Check, Please, but” -- they’re doing high school football? They’re acrobats? They’re a/b/o? They’re in a DIY punk band? And so on. These two stories are not that! They’re both 1950s AUs, each deeply felt, and yet hugely different from each other. I Saw a Life is about displacement and fragmentation, two sides of a similar but incongruent social critique; Strange Lovers is a finely wrought social drama about coal mining in Nova Scotia in the 1950s, centered around historical events. I suppose a theme on this rec list is something like, “I don’t even like this, but” -- yes, okay, I don’t even like Dex/Nursey, but--! This fic is so overwhelmingly complete, the AU laid out so carefully that the story breathes with all the background details informing the writing that aren’t actually, in the story; you just know they’re below the surface. (With the exception of one investigation of Jack’s character in a short, separate fic.) I Saw a Life, meanwhile, really tests the limits of the notion that Jack and Bitty are soulmates--not by calling it into question but by asking, rather innovatively, how the setting and place of the comic itself activates that.

Les Hivers de mon enfance by staranise | What do you do when hockey is the language of prayer for your soul, and also the toxic thing that almost killed you? 2009: Jack Zimmermann takes a mental health year. God knows he needs it. | Here’s a fic by someone who’s no longer around so much, but she felt ubiquitous in 2016-2019 OMGCP fandom. Before any of that, though, she wrote this one lovely fic about Jack’s pre-Samwell recovery. The author is Canadian and really irritated by hockey culture, and I think this fic benefits greatly because she is clear-eyed about Jack’s being caught in an exploitative system; it’s hockey he’s in recovery for, in a way. There’s an epistolary element that works for me, too. I read this early on in my time in OMGCP fandom and it really stuck with me.

Lysistrata? I Hardly Know Her! (by which I mean everything) by @tomatowrites | It feels somehow like cheating to recommend OMGCP fanfics by my OMGCP BFF with whom I make an OMGCP podcast where we talk about OMGCP. You know the fics I really want to rec, like truly the ones that speak to some kind of shared depravity, are the ones where Jack is miserably mpreg for the second time and accidentally lets his kid see Kent Parson’s Long John Silver’s shrimp scampi promo spot, which obviously would get twisted into a self-hating three-way. How many times do I have to rec this fic? As many as I need to, is my feeling. If you don’t know, Long John Silver’s is an American fast-food chain that sells, like, fried pollock sandwiches; it is nautical-themed; I have never eaten there; I don’t know where there is one; I don’t eat fried fish. (Shrimp, on the other hand?) All of which is to say that it takes a real genius to investigate a premise that far out. And while a lot of people almost certainly will start reading this humanity’s depths-themed sex scene and back the fuck out, readers with refined taste will note that Kent, the point-of-view character, is right there with you, despairing that he can’t help himself. And so long as you’re in that story collection, honestly, you’ll love petite gems like Jack is transmasc, Jack and Shitty play hockey in 18th-century England, and oh, right, he’s from Georgia. Tomato holds the distinction of being probably the gamest author I know in this fandom, just really like fearless in her pursuit of any range of concept she’s pushed to. (I can push her to?) See, for example, a sublime bandom AU; Bitty is cancelled for buying a maybe-unethically exported Roman fragment of a youth’s torso; or, god, the masterwork that is this future fic series where Jack keeps relapsing and Bitty exiles him to their guesthouse. Do I think you need to read a fic where Bitty is snide about the teen prostitute whose baby they’re adopting? Yes, I mean, he would be snide, don’t tell me he wouldn’t. I could go on, but my main thing here is, if I have to pick just one, I’m going to pick this Lysistrata fic. The premise, literally, is that Bitty reads the Lysistrata and it gives him ideas. Like most of Tomato’s OMGCP fic, it’s a stripping away of the comic’s polite fiction that Jack and Bitty could possibly attain the ideal it reaches in the comic without some kind of messy, efflusive breakdown. Life is like that, you see! Tricky. Like a lot of people, although it’s tough to say precisely how many, I have always intuited that maybe Bitty is kind of a natural top? But obviously when you meet him, as a literal virgin, it’s hard to see how he’d go from zero to self-actualization so neatly. This fic floats a theory, and it has a fun little side plot for Whiskey, something I never thought about or needed before Tomato built it out herein. In conclusion, BONUS: Dex’s gay lobster novel.

only fools rush in and the light of all lights by decinq | This person wrote of the nature of the wound, one of the early, formative Jack/Bitty fics that was oft-recced when I was getting into the fandom in 2016. It forms part of a larger series that deals deeply with how Jack has been shaped by his struggles (? I hate this word) with homophobia and his own mental health. It’s a picture of the character as you might have imagined him much earlier in the comic’s run. The formatting is atrocious and he author’s flair is what Tomato would call “AO3 house style.” It’s a voice that works great for her writing. I think it’s at its best in these shorter fics; the former is about Parse and Shitty stumbling into a relationship almost accidentally; the latter, an eerie PBJ vampire fic. I had begun writing a fic where Parse is a vampire early on in this fandom, only to read this and immediately quit, because you only need one, and this one’s all I need. The Parse/Shitty rare pair fic shares its exuberance with hockey RPS when it’s good: here’s how fun it can be when you’re young, rich, and jocular. And I don’t even like accidental marriage AUs, they’re usually boring, so that says a lot. By all means, read the wound fic; read the entire series. But these are highly unusual.

OVERDOSE and Oomph and a little spin-o-rama by jedusaur | None of these are long, or plotty, and they’re all a little experimental. OVERDOSE is an AU set in a world where you know how you’ll die, but no details; Oomph, a little fic where Jack hears hockey pucks talking to him. This is the kind of stuff I used to think I’d find in fandom forever, coming out of Lotrips lurking in the 2000s: short, zany bursts of energy that surprise and delight. a little spin-o-rama peers at Kent’s character through the grim reality of being the hypertalented superstar stuck on a dead-last team. All three are sparse and stylish in a way that’s really smart, practically economical.

Sowing Season by @agrossunderstatement | Parse and Zimms, Zimms and Parse. Kent Parson's life, from the Q, through his early years with the Aces, to Jack's senior year. Canon divergent. A story of love, loss, moving on, regressing, hockey, and found families of all kinds. | Effectively a novel, digging into Kent’s personal history, mostly concerning his life in juniors but expanding into his present, overlapping with the plot of OMGCP. I think there is room enough for endless speculations on what went down pre-canon; this one offers a fuller life for Kent than nearly any others, digging into him as a whole person rather than as a satellite to Jack or the plot of the comic. Which isn’t to say that the Kent/Jack stuff isn’t dealt with here; it explicitly is. But the fact of Kent Parson’s life, if we can begin to imagine it beyond mere text, would exist before, after, and alongside Jack; he gets to juniors without Jack, presumably, and he is the captain of a hockey team without Jack, and Pinkerton lays the foundation of Parse’s character within a junior hockey that Jack also inhabits, more so that Parse existing for Jack, so to speak. And I’m not implying this latter tactic is wrong; I have certainly employed it, and others have employed it to great impact and effect. But, still, the title of this series tells you what you ought to know: Kent and his story are the potentiality of OMGCP, up to a point; seeds being planted. Young hockey players, similarly. The question implied there is, what will be reaped? And the answer to the latter, in a sense, that reaping is a sort of violence. Which makes this series sound pretty heavy, but it’s not -- more like, realistic.

(tell everyone) you were a good wife by @queerofcups | The biggest problem with pretending that he doesn’t know that Kent Parson is fucking his husband is that Jack can’t tell Kent how grateful he is. | The ne plus ultra of PBJ triangulation; I’ve been squealing to the writer about how good it is since August, begging for behind-the-scenes insights, and I’d only do that if I really meant it. The precarious social fabric stretched across these three chapters is fraying before the reader’s eyes. The details are delicious, and I don’t want to spoil them, but they sing in chorus with the plot. My favorite OMGCP fics, honestly, remove the romance narrative guardrails that keep things in the comic itself humming along. I think Dann’s take is to ask who in this comic has power and what they would end up doing with it. (Or not doing, from another angle.) At one point, early on in its telling, OMGCP looked like it was going to be a story dealing with the compounded traumas of hockey’s discontents. Then, of course, it wasn’t. This is a fic that steps back and asks what the fallout of that oversight would be. But that’s just the moldering core of this fanfic; it’s actually embroidered, like I said, with glittering detail. The color of the suit Bitty wears to his wedding is burned into my brain. The gray manicure of a woman Jack knows. The ingredients in a cake. This is one of those fics I still haven’t reviewed because the thought of stacking everything I could say about it into mere AO3 comments is inadequate.

when you’re ready by megancrtr | The Aces’ director of communications gets the call at 3:13 a.m. Jack Zimmermann has withdrawn from the draft. | “What happened at the draft” is so mythological it gets asked in the comic proper, and I’ve never counted how many fics attempt to answer this question--from Kent’s point of view, even--but it’s gotta be, oh, hundreds. This story replays the situation from the perspective of an Aces staffer who just wants to do her job, and gets at the jarring discordance between the plot of OMGCP in its quest for social justice and the business of actual hockey. Important context is that this story was written around the time the comic was playing out the end of Y3 and start of Y4, and Bitty pointedly asked Jack the question, “why can’t we?” This story reframes the question as literal, rather than rhetorical. A sterling example of fanfic being a gloss on its source.

BONUS, podfics

hockeyed up | There are many things on Jack's mind. Namely: hockey, hockey, Bitty, hockey, anxiety, hockey, hockey, anxiety, Bitty, hockey, hockey, anxiety, and hockey. | A fic read aloud by its French-Canadian author. Also a relatively early OMGCP fanfic; composed while the first semester of Y2 was posting, the story suggests a version of OMGCP that was in some ways more and in other ways less complex than what it would turn into not long after. The real power of this podfic, however, is that it’s read by the writer, so you can hear the intended emphasis in every line. Also, because she’s French-Canadian, Sophie’s intonation is what I picture when I read or write dialogue for Jack.

maybe i’m waking up | It’s almost funny. All he ever wanted was to play hockey, to play in the NHL, to win the Cup. This—Samwell, the team, the Haus—was supposed to be just a detour, but now it feels more like a destination he failed to realize he’s already reached.(Or: Jack signs with the Falconers, graduates, and leaves. It's the hardest thing he's ever done. What comes after is even harder.) | Don’t get too excited; this isn’t finished. A podfic of probably the best-known, most-recced fic in OMGCP fandom. Striking for its use of metatext woven into the story, this is one of several early longform Jack/Bitty fics that posits that maybe Jack has a lot more development to undergo before he can really, truly, be okay--or be okay enough to be with Bitty? To be honest, this story strikes me now as too long, but the parts in it that work are effective beyond that which fanfic demands. Meanwhile, this audio version only covers six chapters, but it’s so slick, so well-realized, so true to the story. Podfic as art.

my own dear friends | Ever since the day he met Jack Zimmermann, Shitty has seen it as his solemn duty to aggressively love him. (He just didn't know how aggressive the love Jack needed would be.) | There’s previous little Jack/Shitty in this fandom and a lot less quality BDSM,

the city’s ours until the fall | Kent has been, historically, good at this—forgetting about things until suddenly he doesn’t, and then it’s like the scar has never been there in the first place, just the wound. (Or: Kent Parson lets himself be happy, after all this time.) | I’ve never read this fic and I never will. I cannot imagine how, no matter how good it is, it could compare to the version that lives in my head, with Kent’s voice so totally realized. Vocal fry and pathos, a languid energy that I still think about when I think about Parse.

the model home | It’s going to be better, and that’s great, but sometimes Jack thinks, why can’t it be good right now? | j/k j/k, this is a self-reminder to finally one day review this.

[script-a-world]

hi, any advice on timeline and era etc stuff? I have dyscalculia so numbers and measurements are meaningless to me and it’s really difficult to figure out how much time should lapse (on a large scale; time periods, millennia, eras, etc, not stuff like in one persons lifespan) between eras and events, especially in regards to political n social n technological etc changes

Feral: That depends. There isn’t one answer. You’re asking for longer time periods than a generation or a lifetime, but for scale, take what’s happening now. How many calamities, major political events, social trends, and changes in technology (and how we interact with it) have happened in the year 2020? Since the year 2016? Since 2008? Since 2001? How are they grouped together or spaced apart? And these are all working on each other. In the USA where I live, the 9/11 attacks absolutely have a direct causal effect with the politics that led to the 2016 election (actually before that a Supreme Court decision in the 2000 election also had an impact on that result), and the results of the 2016 election impacted how COVID has been handled this year. That’s 20 years, so when we’re looking at longer timeframes, we scale up. We see gaps and groupings and there just isn’t a specific ���oh every decade/score/century, these types of events happen.”

To quote a particularly relevant introduction on Wikipedia:

This results in descriptive abstractions that provide convenient terms for periods of time with relatively stable characteristics. However, determining the precise beginning and ending to any ‘period’ is often arbitrary, since it has changed over time over the course of history.

To the extent that history is continuous and not generalized, all systems of periodization are more or less arbitrary. Yet without named periods, however clumsy or imprecise, past time would be nothing more than scattered events without a framework to help us understand them.

Eras, of the non-geological or -cosmological sort, or time periods are culturally determined, completely variable in length, and often overlap. For example, the beginning of the Victorian Era, 64 years, (defined by Victoria’s rule of England) of the Anglo-influenced world overlapped with the Antebellum Era, 78 years, (defined by political and social tensions in the lead up to the American Civil War) of the United States, which is also part of the Anglo-influenced world, and then following the end of the Antebellum Era, was the American Civil War, 4 years, and then the Reconstruction Era, 14 years (the first 2 of which are within the Civil War), which are both fully contained within the Victorian Era. Typically, when you are trying to think about eras, think about political rulership, wars, and large scale trends like artistic styles. It may also be helpful to familiarize yourself with the Three-Age System, which can be applied individually on cultures, rather describing trends for the whole world.

What it really comes down to when we think of eras and time periods is almost like a type of pareidolia. People see groupings of like things happening and put this grouping into a bubble of time, which kinda doesn’t actually exist in objective reality and is more or less a group hallucination on a massive scale. It calls to mind what Zeno’s arrow might have actually been trying to describe - not to say that this paradox is infallible, but it’s an interesting thought exercise, especially once you get into the quantum Zeno effect.

Now that I have fully diverged from the question at hand, we’ll get back to it. Let’s look at one technology type and how much time elapses between developments as well as some tie-in technological, social, and political forces that may be acting on the developments or that the developments might be acting on. I’ll also note how this technology traverses the eras of history as I find that looking at one discrete set over time is easier than just trying to look at the big picture. Let’s look at the history of printing.

(With hopes that it will be easier for you to conceptualize, I will use simplified (aka rounded up/down) timeframes written numerically rather than spelled out or via terms like decade or century so at the very least you can compare length of numbers. I’m also going to link as many Wikipedia articles as I can - I like Wikipedia for this because of its incredible cross-indexing and how it strings relevant articles together into a series, often chronologically. If the numbers are still challenging for you, I will summarize without at the end.)

5,520 years ago, the very first form of printing we know about is done with cylinders rolled over wet clay in Sumer in 3500 BCE, the beginning of the Early Bronze Age.

3,700 years later, woodblock printing is developed in China somewhere around 200 CE/AD, just after the end of the Pax Romana in Europe.

700 years later, the next development of printing is movable type, which is developed in China in 1040. 26 years later, on the other side of the world, in 1066 is the Battle of Hastings and the establishment of the Norman Era of rulership in England, in another 20 years, in 1086, the Domesday Book is hand written in 2 volumes: 1 is 764 8”x15” pages, the other 900 8”x11” pages.

400 years later gives us the Gutenburg printing press that is developed in Germany (at the time in the Holy Roman Empire) in 1440. This is during the Renaissance Era; it’s also the Era of Humanism, and often called the Early Modern Period. Martin Luther will write the 95 Theses less than 80 years later and start the Protestant Reformation, largely thanks to the ability for the theses to be easily copied by the printing press and spread quickly.

75 years later we have etching in 1515. 90 years later, the first weekly “true” newspaper, the Relation, begins printing in 1604.

130 years later we have mezzotint in 1642, which is the start of the First English Civil War, which will last for 4 years. Depending on your preference, the Age of Enlightenment either began 5 years before or 40 years later (unless you’re French).

130 years later we have aquatint in 1772. That is right at the beginning of the American Revolution: 2 years after the Boston Massacre; 1 year before the Boston Tea Party; 2 years before the Intolerable Acts and the First Continental Congress; 3 years before Patrick Henry’s “Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death” Speech (which is printed and shared across the colonies), Paul Revere’s Ride, and the Battle of Lexington & Concord; and finally 4 years before Thomas Paine’s Common Sense is published, the signing of the Declaration of Independence (which is printed and shared across the colonies), Nathan Hale’s execution for treason against the Crown, and Washington’s Crossing of the Delaware.

25 years later lithography is developed in 1796; the year prior Napoleon overthrows le Directoire.

40 years later we have chromolithography in 1837, the year Victoria ascends and the first electric/battery powered locomotive is invented.

5 years later is the rotary press in 1843. The First Industrial Revolution is over.

15 years later is the hectograph in 1860. 1 year later, the American Civil War begins.

15 years later is offset printing in 1875. 1 year before, the first commercial typewriter becomes available. 1 year later is Bell and Watson’s first phone call in 1876.

10 years later is hotmetal typing in 1884.

1 year later is the mimeograph in 1885. 2 years later is Black Monday. 5-10 years later the radio is invented.

20 years later is the photostat and rectigraph in 1907.

4 years later is screen printing in 1911. 3 years later WWI begins in 1914.

10 years later is the spirit duplicator in 1923. The Roaring Twenties.

2 years later is dot matrix printing in 1925. 4 years later is the Great Crash.

10 years later is xerography in 1938, the same year as the first digital computer. 1 year later WWII begins in 1939.

2 years later is spark printing in 1940. 1 year later is the Attack on Pearl Harbor.

9 years later is phototypesetting in 1949. The USSR detonates their first atomic bomb.

1 year later is inkjet printing in 1950. Truman orders the development of the hydrogen bomb. Apartheid becomes law in South Africa.

7 years later is dye-sublimation in 1957. 6 years later, Martin Luther King, Jr. gives his “I Have a Dream” Speech.

12 years later is laser printing in 1969, the summer of which is known for very Very.

3 years later is thermal printing in 1972. The break-in at the Watergate Office Building is this same year and 2 years later Nixon resigns.

14 years later is 3D printing in 1986, the year Pixar Animation is founded and the year after the beginning of the Iran-Contra Affair.

1 year later is solid ink printing in 1987. 2 years later is the invention of the World Wide Web, and the internet as we know it.

4 years later is digital printing in 1991, the same year the USSR dissolved. 2 years before, the Berlin Wall fell.

There have been no significant developments in the history of printing since 1991.

So, let’s look at some averages to help us consume this data. Printing has a history of 5,520 years. It took 3,700 years for another development to occur, and then another 700 years after that - in other words, in the first 4,400 years of printing, there were 3 developments, equalling to an average of 1 every 1,470 years. In the 400 years between 1440 and 1843,  there were 7 developments (average of 1 every 57 years). In the next 100 years between 1860 and 1957, there were 14 developments (average of 1 every 7 years but with 1 year having 2 developments simultaneously). In the next 22 years between 1969 and 1991, there were 5 developments (average of 1 every 4 years).

While the general trend is that the more a technology develops, the faster it develops, a trend is not the whole picture. Consider: in the 90 years of 1796-1885, there were 6 developments, making the average 1 every 15 years. In the 85 years of 1907-1991, there were 15 developments, making the average 1 every 6 years. There has not been a development in the past 30 years! There hasn’t been this large of a gap since 1837, 180 years ago.

In general, without numbers, what I think we can see here is that sometimes a certain development, like the printing press, can usher in a new era, and sometimes reactions to what else is happening in the world can pressure someone into developing something new, but often times, most times, when you look at just one thing under microscope over time, why that thing is produced in this era but not that era has nothing to do with the eras in question. When we create time periods, we’re generally doing it after the fact. No one living under the rule of the Roman Empire in 100 CE was thinking to themselves, “ah yes, the Pax Romana, when we have peace for 200 years!”

So applying all of this to worldbuilding, I see two methods that you can use together, to create a timeline that makes sense and is useful to your storytelling.

Method the first, arbitrarily create time bubbles of various lengths - I recommend the use of index cards for this. Index card A is 7 years; card B is 150 years; card C is 47 years and so on. Then take big ideas and put those onto your cards; use inspiration from real history. “I want the War of the Roses but condensed into 7 years.” “A Mongolian Empire type expansion happens over 150 years.” “There’s a 47 year Renaissance of fascination with Ancient History.” Then take those cards, lay them out into roughly the order in which you want them to occur, maybe overlap them a little, especially if they are happening in different parts of your world. Remember that time is not actually linear and things do not happen in a linear, narrative manner in the real world, so there can be wild leaps; there can be regressions; and you don’t have to follow real world history here - though you may want to the first time as a helpful exercise. It’s also very unlikely that you will ever have to know exactly how many years are between the eras or what the interstitial eras are.

Method the second, list all the major historical events, inventions, etc that you want/need to have happened. Start with what directly impacts your main characters and plot. “MC’s great-grandfather is humiliatingly defeated in battle, casting a pall of embarrassment across the generations following and ultimately putting the MC in the position that she starts in.” “The first great wizard codifies the 10 Laws of the Important Magical Order that the MC is trying to earn her place in.” Put these in an order that makes sense to you, keeping in mind that it’s not going to be a perfect progression. Again, you don’t need to know how many years there are between each event, but if great-grandpa was the last in a very long line of family members allowed to be in the Important Magical Order, then that IMO had to be founded first, and there would probably be some events between these two.

Then, when you have your two timelines, one of era/time periods and one of events, graft them together. You may have to shift some things to make it work, but consider the “feeling” or theme of the eras and what events make sense in relation to those feelings. Additionally would this event be more suited to happening when the era is new and is finding itself or when the era is solidly on course or is it an event that would completely shatter the illusion of the era and usher in a new one? Does it make sense for your great wizard to be codifying her laws in the expansion of an empire, or during a period of relative peace and prosperity in an established empire, or before empires were a thing in this world and few traveled far from home?

Tex: I’ve found that historically important events are caused for roughly two reasons - one, an invention that others capitalize on for an exponential growth into other inventions/social uses, and two, someone got sick of someone else’s crap and did something about it. Natural disasters will happen with enough frequency to be noted (see: the Little Ice Age, the Black Death, and the 1883 eruption of Krakatoa), although there’s little prediction for them because of the lack of observable build up in activity.

To pull from Feral’s timeline of examples, writing is popularly attributed to being invented in Sumer, 5,520 years ago - it’s our oldest found example, at any rate, though I’ve learned to never say never on archaeological discoveries.

What prompted this invention? Things rarely occur out of the blue, and rarely without interaction from other domains - where could writing have come from? Maybe art? What about from the creation of a tool, a reuse of certain skill sets? Something else we haven’t thought of yet?

So that’s one half of the question. But what about the other half - what did people around the inventor (multiple inventors?) think of this new thing? Deliberately associating a particular sound with a particular object - even a 2D object like pressing shapes into a piece of clay - and then standardizing it, is no mean feat. How did this agreement even happen? Were there arguments about how to do these graphemes, how best to shape them? What about which phoneme to each?

I doubt Sumerian cuneiform was created in a day, and likewise I doubt that language popped into existence on a whim. To keep pulling from this example, language composition has a strong effect on how we interact with our environment (University of Missouri-St Louis Libraries), but it conversely is also deeply affected by the environment its users create (Nature).

Because of this, I think it’s easier to work from a different angle - figure out what your major events are, and what eras you’re covering. If these major events also define an era, that’s even better! Working out how long everything each thing takes is ultimately a bunch of minor details, so it’s up to you how much your plot actively needs them, rather than decoration to your story meant to amuse you more than your audience.

[writing-for-the-gays]

Hi! Can I have a Supernatural fluff matchup with male preference?

𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘: 20 years old, 5'1", Southeast Asian. Chubby with brunette bob cut hair, chocolate brown eyes, and a small beauty mark on my forehead. My style is in between soft grunge and soft punk but loves to wear Korean makeup style

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬: Muggleborn Ravenclaw with a patronous spirit of Hummingbird, an INFJ (last time I checked at MBTI test), my enneagram is 4w5 and my moral alignment is Neutral Good. I may have a slight introverted tendencies and awkward nature, I describe myself as fiery, swears like a sailor, confident, jokester, and, passionate. Religious, super talkative, sometimes hyper (because of excitement), giggly (I always laugh for stupid reasons), nerdy, actually sweet and nice though I can be aloof, intimidating, and scary when I get so angry. I tend to become really fiesty, stands boldly on what I believe (claiming myself as a realist though some of my views doesn't makes sense), and unbothered to be true to myself, clumsy, stubborn, childish, unfortunate and inattentive. I have "no bulls*** attitude" towards the people that I hate, sarcasam and savagery is my main language. But on the other side, I overthink a lot and cry over small things many times, small mistakes leads me to provoke me even more that sounds like a drama queen, yet recognizes a soft spot for dumb jokes, cheesy pickup lines and prefer people with a good sense of humour who see myself as equal. Chill in academics, but very competitive that manages to the top even for my dreams---I'm very dedicated on what I want for my life, and have modesty towards some people that deserves respect. One notable feature about her is her multi-potentiality due to being naturally gifted in artistic fields (this includes singing).

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗦: Arts, choir, poetry, karaoke, literature, history, makeup, beauty pageants, fun/deep/dumb conversations, expanding my knowledge in Christianity, documentaries (about saints), reading interesting stuffs, talking about social issues, and creative writing, chilling both indoors and outdoors.

𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦: Drawing, singing, dancing when nobody's around, walking like a model (if I ever feel so confident), sleeping, listening to music (from rock to kpop),chatting or browsing on social media, watching videos on YouTube, making terrible jokes/puns, watching cartoons, writing, reading interesting things, and conceptualizing my artworks. I also used to study Italian language a bit

I match you with!

Sam Winchester!

- he’d be reminded of his brother at first making it kind of a rocky relationship at first! 

- but as he got to know you he’d fall in love with you!  He adores you and your interests!

- he’ll let you practice makeup on him if/when you wanna try new styles. he sees it as good bonding!

-you share a room in the bunker, and he lets you decorate it, if you want to put cultural based things in there he wont stop you, hell, he’ll encourage it, if you want to put art on the walls, he’ll swoon and compliment it all the time, and i mean ALL. THE. TIME.  Anything you make is great, even if you cant see the good, he can. also heavily encourages crosses and Christianity based object. Man’s met an angel, has been to the garden of eden (pardon my spelling, i am very stupid, and very jewish) and if i remember correctly, HAS MET GOD. So its not a problem.

-If you have won awards from beauty pageants he’ll try to make a shelf to display them, which might annoy dean a bit, but you’e already basically a sister in law, so he’s not gonna say much about it.

- Sam can and will beat up racist's, he lives above the law being a hunter so its not like he’s gonna get caught. 

-   learns lyrics to songs you like to sing with you.

- sam almost 1000000% did choir as a kid, so you and him chat or talk about your times in choir, and if you’re part of a church choir, he will crash weddings to watch you sing. hell even if you’re part of non church choir, he’ll watch you sing, expect him to show up to everything you do.

This is so short im so sorry, i am very tired and have very long nails on so typing is a pain in the ass! please send me a msg if you need any revisions or things edited

[oneboxofmatches]

Hi!!! May I request a HP romantic and friendship matchup on both eras? (Preferably male), thanks in advance! 💞

𝗕𝗔𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗦 + 𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘

19, Libra, Neutral Good, enneagram is 4w5, Ravenclaw, and my patronus spirit is swan. Bi Pan Genderfluid girl using pronouns of She/Her or He/Him. A friend of mine told me that I (kinda) look like Marinette from 𝗠𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗟𝗮𝗱𝘆𝗯𝘂𝗴, Musa from 𝗪𝗶𝗻𝘅 𝗖𝗹𝘂𝗯, and Alexandra Trese from 𝗧𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲 (a Netflix animated series), but the exception is I'm short (5'1.2") plus sized Southeast Asian woman with Spanish descent that has messy/wavy brunette medium hair, chocolate brown eyes, oriental skin and a small beauty mark on the forehead. My sense of fashion is in between emo and boyish plus korean glam.

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬

Distant and shy at first cause' I dunno how to initiate a conversation, but a total opposite if I open up---friendly, ambivert, witty, laughing loudly on a daily basis, talkative, awkward, daydreamer (I got embarrassed from knocking at the door even I'm inside the classroom 😂), EXTREMELY clumsy, secretly likes affection, easily overwhelmed, prone to melt over any wholesomeness, flusters on compliments, lightly blushes on cheesy banters, sarcastic person with a lowkey crackhead energy citing meme references, and talented girl who can be your no. 1 supporter and unashamed to be true to myself. In terms of leadership, I only educate and guide than being a prefect (I might take the role seriously), and will lift my group when there's lacking/incompleteness. About doing projects in school, I become too extra and prepared for efforts, but I'll forget the process in the end.

People thought I'm a demure self-effacing woman that looks "idealistic" or "one of a kind," (due to my protective parents, a reason why I've never been in a relationship) but the truth is, I'm eloquent, warm-hearted, willig to help, kind, intelligent, supportive, nice, creative, enthusiastic, determined, tough, competitive, and feisty outside, but a real softie that can be childish and dramatic crybaby filled with doubts, frustrations, and insecurities with fear of failure that pushes off the limits to to please everyone, yet I still managed to be stronger than ever, even it's a slow burn process. I can be intimidating, sassy, and a douchebag if I receive ends. Immature, headstrong, perfectionist, demanding, hesitant, jumpy, very indecisive, overthinker, quick-tempered, sensitive, and anxious (no joke, my nervousness makes me think worse scenario will arrive or I might break a belonging due to my carelessness). Though can be procrastinator and arrogant, I raised as a religious 𝖺𝗇𝖽 diplomatic person, willing to fight what I believe (including my dreams) 𝖺𝗇𝖽 what is right. In addition, I have a habit of staying up late and doing sign of the cross to ease nervousness.

Blunt but the loudest idiotic feeling-brokenhearted and bitter friend in the group who fangirl a lot, swears like sailor, will act like a silent backstabber on people that we loathe, will crack up over your stupid antics before helping, and bring gossips, but a hopeless romantic who tends to banter with sarcasms or pick up lines as an endearment (but gets grumpy if I received sappy or offensive one), still generous and concerned in a subtle way.

𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦

My hobbies are singing, drawing, roleplaying, listening to music, chatting/browsing on social media, conceptualizing, writing, and reading some stuffs. 𝖨'𝗅𝗅 ���𝗇𝖼𝗅𝗎𝖽𝖾 making corniest jokes/puns, 𝗌𝗅𝖾𝖾𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗀, and dancing when nobody's around or walking like a model if I feel so bold (even I'm terrible at both xD).

𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Loves kittens, eating a lot, cartoons, watching YouTube videos (mostly pageants, ASMR, edit audios, and mukbangs), also enjoys playing games on my sister's PSP. Sucker for arts, choir, night sky, makeup, fun/deep/dumb conversations, Christianity, documentaries (about saints, real crime stories, and inspirational people), reading interesting stuffs, talking about social issues, and writings, chilling both indoors and outdoors. Beside that, my music taste are like late 90s-2000s songs (mostly rock, pop, and country) sometimes kpop and ppop, chocoholic, and a sweetooth as well.

𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Things that I hate are stereotyping, HUGE creepy crawlies (spiders, toads, snakes, and cockroaches), firecracker sounds, being left out, loneliness, heart break, blackout, and judgemental people. One random fact about me is, I 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 vent out EVERYTHING I despise in my entire existence---from bad soap operas to toxicity and worse scenarios in real life, because it's a big deal for me, and I consider forcing me to do what I'm not into and manipulating me as my major pet peeves.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗚𝗘𝗥𝗦

In terms of triggers...I only have two which are ta𝖨king about divorce/annullment/separation because I came from a generational broken family and religion/beliefs discrimination, cause' there are reasonings that doesn't makes sense because some are too hypocritical.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗩𝗜𝗔

My best assets are smile, eyes, personality, singing voice, artistic skills, writings, intelligence, and oratorical skills...so I can consider myself as a singer, artist, orator, and a top student who's a former active campus ministry member with three roles (choir leader, psalm singer, and reader). Currently an incoming college freshman, learning how to cook and have so many interests, to the point I don't know what I'm into because of my dreams to become a popular Filipino YouTuber, a novelist, and being part of a successful chorale competing internationally...I also consider joining pageants at school too once the pandemic ends, but maybe.

Thank you so, so much for requesting! I had a lot of fun with this one (as you can tell by some of the really long answers lol) and I hope you enjoy!!

In the Golden Trio era, I romantically pair you with…

CEDRIC DIGGORY

One of the most beautiful things about Cedric is that although he may show some introverted tendencies, he still manages to have a natural gift for connecting to others and allowing them to feel comfortable enough to open up. Really, your initial distance and shyness don't last nearly as long towards Cedric as they would with most other people.

Hearing your laughter brings the widest, cheesiest grin to Cedric’s face. Not only does he adore seeing you happy, but he also recognizes that your anxiety, insecurities, and strong emotions can sometimes cloud up your demeanor. Therefore, it brings him comfort knowing that (for the moment) you’re finding joy. He thrives when you thrive!

However, as much as he loves seeing your more energetic and happier self, it goes without saying that he’s the best comfort for when you’re not having the best day.

Cedric is an excellent listener, so he’ll most likely let you talk without interruption for as long as you need before even saying a word. He wants to make sure he truly understands your current state before acting. He may take a few seconds to process everything after you finish speaking, but then he’ll help you tackle whatever problems you’re facing. He’s especially talented at giving words of affirmation.

Cedric’s listening also comes in handy whenever you talk about your interests! He genuinely loves hearing about the things you’re interested in solely for the fact that you’re interested in them. Side note: you can count on him to be at any music performances, pageants, etc. you may have -- this guy is truly your #1 supporter.

Cedric’s a very good student (though I suspect he’s somewhat of a procrastinator himself), so I can also see you two supporting each other through schoolwork and celebrating each other’s successes.

Like you, Cedric has a strong urge to do the right thing. Talking to him about social issues stirs up a need to help, and I could see you two doing volunteer work together in your spare time.

I like to believe one of Cedric’s biggest love languages is quality time. Don’t get me wrong, this guy loves staying involved and busy. But taking a couple hours to be with you in small ways (even if that means just being in the same room while you scroll through social media) gives him a nice balance.

Overall, this kind boy will be there unwaveringly through the bad times and will laugh just as loud as you through the good!

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

LUNA LOVEGOOD

You wanna talk about the best conversations, relentless support, and overall the most wholesome friendship you could ask for? Luna’s your girl.

Being unashamed to be true to yourself is one of the biggest reasons why Luna is so drawn to you. While she’s very friendly and insightful towards everyone she meets, it can get a bit repetitive for her to constantly interact with people who try to shelter their unique characteristics from the world. In her mind, these unique characteristics are what make people so fascinating! Why should anyone hide who they are?

Luna’s creativity is endless, and I can see it blending well with yours. Collaborating on a personal project outside of school (ex: novel, blog, etc.) together is definitely something I could see you two doing.

Speaking of creativity, finding creative solutions to everyday problems (both in school and in life) is your specialty as friends.

Admittedly, Luna isn’t usually drawn to louder individuals. However, the complexity behind your personality makes it easier for her to know you are much more than what meets the eye.

Speaking of, Luna has a difficult time standing up for herself -- whether it’s because she doesn’t feel a need to or she just doesn’t recognize the meaning behind certain phrases. She NEEDS a friend like you to stand up for her sometimes, and I know you wouldn’t hesitate!

Ranting to Luna is therapeutic to say the least. While her aloofness at times may make it seem as if she isn’t fully paying attention, that couldn’t be further from the truth. She’s actually catching every word, and once you’re done she’ll leave you with a philosophical solution that may seem borderline insane/irrelevant when you first hear it, but it strangely makes sense.

Overall, the lack of judgment from either of you is what draws you together. As a result, you build a unique bond that couldn’t be broken even if either of you wanted it to.

In the Marauders era, I romantically pair you with…

REMUS LUPIN

Let’s be honest, it would take you two so long to ask each other out. You were probably already really close friends, but the insecurities and “what if?” questions from both of you delayed an actual relationship.

When you finally started dating, you were both so relieved. You still share a laugh at how almost nothing changed in the way you interacted with each other.

While with mutual friends, Remus sometimes likes to sit back and just watch you, especially when you get really talkative because this is when you become the most expressive. He has the softest smile when you’re actively cracking jokes, discussing something you’re passionate about, or even calling someone out. Sometimes you may be too distracted to notice, but other times you’ll catch him.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing.” (While that same soft smile never leaves his face.)

You both hold really high standards for yourself in terms of school, so expect late-night study/work sessions to be your best bet for quality time.

Though the occasional instance of walking through/lying on the grounds becomes a favorite for both of you.

Remus listens when you’re particularly struggling through anxiety or strong emotions, but he has to consciously stop himself from interrupting because he can’t stand how he feels knowing you’re going through a tough time.

All he wants to do is soothe you during these moments. If you’re comfortable, he’ll hold you while speaking to you in a soft voice. Remus, the intellectual that he is, is also your best chance at finding a reasonable solution. So if you're not in the mood for calming words, he's also a great person to turn to for answers.

As for your ambitions, no matter what you choose to pursue, you already know Remus is going to be your biggest source of support every step of the way. He’s more than happy to help in any way he can!

Overall, Remus appreciates you, and he’s always going to make sure you know it.

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

LILY EVANS

Lily especially connects to you because you manage to be determined, competitive, and intelligent without sacrificing your kindness, which is something she can relate to.

You and Lily are the C.E.O.s of doing the right thing. Neither of you hesitates to back the other up when it comes to confronting someone because you know it’s justified.

As perceptive as Lily is, you never need to tell her when something is bothering you. All it takes is a quick glance before she puts whatever she’s doing on hold to check in with you.

The reverse works as well. Typically, Lily really doesn’t internally struggle too much, and when she does she tries to hide it. You’re one of the only people who can see right through whatever she tries to pull.

The constant banter between you two is unmatched, but you both know it's because you really care about each other.

Overall, you and Lily have each other’s backs through anything, even when the other isn’t actively asking for help.

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

Could you possibly do an analysis of the Byers Family as a whole?

I’m honestly surprised it took this long for this to be requested. The Byers family is really at the heart of the entire story. I’m going to try and limit this analysis to the on-screen portrayal of the family. If you want more of a deep-dive that includes predictions and suppositions that draw on the writers’ background material and references, I would point you to @kaypeace21. There’s some real next level stuff going on with her work, but I’m going to try and stick to what I know best. I will not be including El in this, though she may come up in passing, as we have yet to see any significant portrayal of her as a member of the family. The Byers are a family of unexpected strength and love. There’s a lot there that would suggest a family in shambles, but outward appearances can be misleading. I intend here to go through the family one-by-one and then go into some conceptualizations of the family dynamic based on my understanding of psychological theory and human development. My memory on some of the details of the show may be off, so feel free to correct any errors I may stumble into. Lonnie I’ll start with Lonnie, though it’s difficult to really refer to him as a part of the family. Still, for at least a portion of this family’s development, he was there and active in the others’ lives to some extent.There is much we simply don’t know about the family dynamic when he was still an active member of it. What we do know, however, is that he was involved in Jonathan’s life until he was at least 10, due to the story of Lonnie taking him hunting on his birthday, but that he was out of the house prior to the start of Stranger Things. Jonathan would have turned 10 around 1977, so the Lonnie would have left his family for up to 5 years prior to the first season.  Lonnie’s actions, as portrayed in the first season, depict him as a selfish and callous man with very rigid ideas of masculinity. He would routinely try to force his sons to conform to these ideals. We can see this through the aforementioned hunting trip, which brought Jonathan to tears, and through his overall treatment of Will. The fact that a man would call his own prepubescent son a “queer” or “fag” is harsh even by 80s standards. He would also attempt to get Will to enjoy baseball, though even then it’s implied that he often fails to deliver on his promises to spend time with his youngest.  Lonnie showed up in the first season upon learning of Will’s apparent death. He would seem to be a concerned father at first, but Joyce would later learn that Lonnie was prepared to file a wrongful death case against the owner of the quarry that Will was believed to have drowned in. Money has seemingly always been a concern for the family, but Lonnie is the only one who even considers financial compensation. All of this says a lot about where his priorities lie and what his values are.  Joyce Joyce Byers is, by all on-screen depictions, a loving mother and open-minded, friendly woman. It is curious as to what she would have seen in Lonnie (we will not assume Murray’s theories to be accurate), but conservative, small-town culture at the time certainly would have led many a woman to see a macho guy as ideal. Joyce has been portrayed in making many sacrifices for her loved ones, and she has a fiery temper that has come out whenever someone would seemingly try to get in the way of her taking care of said loved ones. By the time we are introduced to Joyce, her priorities seem to be her children. She works as a clerk at a local general store, presumably not making much money. It is assumed that after Lonnie left she had no significant romantic relationships until Bob Newby in 1984. While Joyce seems to love both of her sons a great deal, it is suggested in season 1 that she felt closer to Will. Despite this, there was no apparent favoritism. Joyce did however, albeit unintentionally, trigger some issues with Jonathan during the events of Will’s disappearance in 1983. Despite the lack of financial resources (we do not know if Lonnie pays any financial support), Joyce tries her best to support her children. She even managed to get an Atari 2600 for Will, which, even after the video game crash of the early 80s, would have cost her the equivalent of over $100 of today’s money. At first, Joyce welcomes Lonnie back into her life when he showed up after learning of Will’s “death.” She seemed exhausted and initially leaned on him for support. This changed when Joyce learned of his planned lawsuit against the owners of the quarry. She proceeded to lash out at him angrily, accusing him of never caring about his sons, perhaps giving us a look into what ultimately led to their separation (were they ever actually said to be divorced?). When Lonnie couldn’t even come up with what college Jonathan wanted to go to, Joyce viciously spat out that he has wanted to go to NYU since he was a child. To Joyce, not knowing something like that about your own child is reprehensible. When she brings up to Chief Hopper that Lonnie would refer to Will with gay slurs, the discomfort it brings to her is clearly visible. It’s purely speculation, but not out of the question based on what we know about her, that Joyce isn’t so much disturbed by the idea, but rather that she ostensibly allowed Lonnie to say such things. As the series moves on, Joyce is shown seeking out stability and security for herself and her family. Her relationship with Bob was an attempt to rebuild a sense of normality. Bob took a genuine interest in the boys and clearly loved her a great deal. His traumatic loss affects her greatly. She develops an understandable sense of paranoia about Hawkins and the agency behind the lab which ultimately leads to her deciding to uproot her family and leave town to parts yet known. While her decision to do so is certainly understandable and well-intentioned, it could have unintended adverse consequences that I intend to explore further below. Jonathan When we meet him, Jonathan Byers is an intelligent young man and a talented photographer. On the other hand, he is also well aware of the family’s struggles, perhaps more so than Will, and is somewhat parentified. Jonathan is not social, and is shown to be something of an outcast at school. We do not know how far back this goes, but it is possibly a result of Jonathan needing to go to work to help support the family. Jonathan is more like his mother than his father, as seen in his unconditional support for Will and his generally sensitive and protective nature. While in many cases a parentified child is a cause for concern, in Jonathan’s case it may well have given him a sense of purpose that allowed him to weather the rough family life he’s experienced.  Indeed, Jonathan initially seems to derive little satisfaction in life outside of photograph and his family. He apparently had already resigned himself to a life of sacrifice, at least until he can try to make a life for himself through photography. While he would go on to develop a relationship with Nancy Wheeler, he never lost his fraternal/borderline paternal bond with his little brother. He literally fought monsters to save and protect Will on multiple occasions. It is quite possible that Jonathan fosters a continuing sense of guilt, as the only reason he was not home the night Will vanished was because he took an extra work shift.  With Joyce, Jonathan seems to almost see himself as a co-parent rather than a son. While he clearly loves his mother, he is not above calling her out and butting heads with her as seen in the first season. When Jonathan sees what he thinks is Joyce losing her mind, his reaction is an angry outburst. While there is not enough evidence, this could be a result of abandonment issues as a result of his father leaving.Despite his maturity, Jonathan is still just a teenager at this point, and one who is already blaming himself for his brother vanishing. He needs his mother but sees her as abandoning him. Joyce is going around and publicly making herself seem crazy. While the viewers know that Joyce is right, Jonathan reacts like any of us may. He comes around once he realizes the truth, but it is clear that he is holding in a lot of his own pain and he may hold some resentment towards Joyce, even if he is unaware of it himself. Jonathan was older than Will when Lonnie left, so he would presumably have been more aware of what was going on. He also would have been old enough to potentially blame Joyce for failing to protect him and Will. This last part is all speculation, however. Jonathan’s relationship with Will is perhaps the strongest in the family. Jonathan helped Will build Castle Byers in response to Lonnie’s departure. He stayed until it was finished despite a rainstorm and (a presumably very young) Will’s lack of skill at actually helping. He would go on to support Will in all of his endeavors, blatantly encouraging him to dare to be different. He clearly doesn’t want to see Will succumb to the pressure of conformity. He makes it very clear that he supports Will completely and unconditionally. There is a suggestion here that Jonathan fears that Will may have a lingering desire to please their father at the expense of his own preferences. Will Will is smart, sensitive, artistic, and caring in a way that was discouraged in adolescent boys in a town like his. Will is heading towards the latter years of middle school as the series starts. Lonnie is already gone, but his influence is still there. Joyce dotes on him as much as possible, but time and resources are scarce. Jonathan takes on a hybrid father figure/big brother role to help keep Will happy. Oddly enough, given the circumstances of the plot, Will actually seems to come out the best. I will go further into detail below, but compared to his mom and older brother, Will actually has the most going for him. I’ve already covered Will’s role in the family above, but there is a bit more to explore from his perspective. Will is the much-loved son and brother to Joyce and Jonathan, and the bane of his father. Joyce wanted Will to be happy, and made every attempt to bond with him. Will did indeed seem to have a good relationship with his mother, as shown in his excitement to see Poltergeist with her and his risking his life to warn his mother of the Demogorgon. We also see many scenes of him bonding with Jonathan over music, but their relationship goes deeper. Jonathan is someone who Will confides in his relationship with his father. Will also worries about Jonathan’s hand injury despite the fact that he himself is in a hospital bed, having just woken up after being in the Upside Down for a week. Despite how good his relationships are with his mother and brother, Will is shown craving his father’s love. We do not know if Lonnie ever directly called Will a “queer” or “fag” or if he only referred to him as such to others, but Will does seem aware of his dad’s lack of support. Even though Will does not like baseball, he makes a pretense of it in an attempt to gain his father’s love, and he takes it hard when his dad does not deliver. It’s quite possible that Will harbors guilt as to what happened to his family, blaming himself for his dad leaving. Much like with Jonathan, this is speculative, but it wouldn’t be an unusual reaction for a young child whose parents split.  Development and Outlook

I will try to be short and sweet here. When one looks at the family as a whole, the many moving parts of the family and their environment quite frankly make sense. The family is portrayed in a reasonably realistic fashion. Lonnie’s displeasure with his family life, along with what is quite possibly dissatisfaction with his life in general, result in him leaving. These same factors left their mark on his wife and children. The Byers receive little support from the community, and are indeed seen as outcasts, resulting in reactions that range from indifference to scorn. This would lead to the Byers relying even more on each other and seeming even more like outcasts. The cycle is harsh. Even as you go outward towards more indirect influences, the Byers do not conform to conservative 80s norms, which sets them at odds with society as a whole. They are basically an island in a stormy sea. This is where Will’s bright spot comes in. Will has what the others in his family lack, at least before the events of the series: friends. Will is not an outcast in the same sense of the others. While he is still scorned by the larger school population, his relationship with the Party serve as a protective factor. In other words, he’s better able to deal with the bad aspects of his life because he has his friends to fall back on. Joyce and Jonathan, on the other hand, only have each other. Mike in particular is a source of strength for Will, which is what makes the rockiness of their relationship in season 3 so hard for him. Joyce and Jonathan would both form relationships outside of the family that make them better able to cope. Jonathan and Nancy have a mostly healthy relationship, and Joyce almost looks like a teenager in how carefree she is with Bob (before the plot hits high gear anyway). Joyce and Hopper aren’t quite as healthy, but there are signs that it could head that way before Hopper is presumably killed.  This is where Joyce makes a decision that she may come to regret. While her own attempts to develop a better ecoysystem seem cursed, Jonathan finally seems to have someone outside the family (indeed from a well-off family) that not only doesn’t scorn him, but loves him. Will has a group of friends that, despite some trials, is actually growing. Joyce, however, decides to separate them from these relationships in a well-meant attempt to save them from the town, the lab, and the Upside Down. It is hard to blame her for this, but the decision is nonetheless curious. She seems to be coming around to the idea of staying due to a burgeoning relationship with Hopper, which runs contrary to her tendency to put her kids first. One could excuse her for being clouded by grief, and we don’t see how she broke the news to Jonathan and Will (and El) or the aftermath. They all seem to have made peace with the idea, but the goodbyes are emotional, and Joyce herself looks upset and perhaps guilty, but this puts the family back to relying solely on each other, at least in the short term. Will they become stronger and be able to regain normalcy away from Hawkins? Will they end up resenting Joyce for it? How will El fit into this family? Can Will cope without his friends? Can Jonathan and Nancy’s relationship survive at a distance? How is Joyce going to be able to support a now-larger family? How will Lonnie fit into this? That all remains to be seen, but would be realistic elements to include in the next season.

[millennialzadr]

WHY I LOVE ZADR!!!

HEY GUYS WHASSUP? LMAO

So this is a whole ass giant long post of me absolutely spewing my feelings of love for ZADR, it was the very first thing I wrote when I made this blog and I think it’s a nice, positive thing for my fellow shippers to inhale and enjoy 👌👌

it was originally a reply to mitarashiart’s post about why HE loves ZADR (link in replies) but I decided to delete that and make my own post since MY WHOLE ENTIRE TEXT WALL WAS SHOWN IN THE REPLIES and drowned out anyone else who was trying to talk (thanks tumblr mobile u fuckin idiot)

I had also posted a summary of an AU that I’m working on in the original post, but decided to remove it since it just about doubled the length (I’m thinking about posting it separately along with the wips I’ve been putting together, we’ll see 👀)

But ANYWAY, here is about a million reasons why I think ZADR is the fucking best, so if you like reading gushy gay ship feelings, please enjoy ❤️❤️❤️

[Posted June 2019][WARNING, LONG ASS THOUGHT BARF]

SOOO, holy hell y’all my journey back into this fandom has been a wild and unique experience for me, i went from adding invader zim to my bookmarks on kisscartoon, rewatching the series, finding out theres a movie coming out, finding out there was a shitload of content i’d never seen before (commentaries, lost episode scripts and audios, panels, the COMIC, episodes i’d never seen because the dvd i used to watch was scratched!! and a FUCKLOAD of quality modern fan art like oh my GOD) and finally curiously googling ‘zadr’ (which i was way into when i was maybeee 13/14) to see if there was any interesting new art, and holy hell, mita (the artist above) singlehandedly THREW me down the hole into modern zadr hell, first with his absolutely stunning IZ art (all his art is dope tho check him out yo), then reading the above explanation put the final nail in the coffin like, 100%

so i wanted to add onto his post here on why this ship got me so fucked up, both for anyone who might be wondering why on earth i’m shipping two characters from a kid’s show (i’m very aware how weird that is at first glance trust me) and also so i can get some ideas down for possible future reference (will i ever draw them? maybe)

(first of all, a disclaimer, and this is not pleasant to write but it’s important to address for clarity’s sake: I have no interest in romantic or sexual relationships between minors, and do not ship zim and dib as they are presented canonically in the show (as children). what i’m interested in is the conceptualized relationship they may have as modern adults, and i view zadr more as taking the concepts of existing characters and experimenting with them with different interpretations, which i personally think is a constructive and fun creative outlet, especially if these characters hold personal significance for you (childhood faves of course). growing up together is an important facet of their relationship, and certainly they were important to each other even as children (see: mopiness of doom) but as an adult i’m personally curious about what kind of adults they might’ve become, and that’s the focus of my interest. i’ll still be reblogging regular IZ art because it’s dope but if you see shippy looking art of them as tiny lil beans its either friendship or chibis (and i personally headcanon zim as getting taller with dib but some people stick with his canonical height when drawing them as adults, which is super short. it still doesn’t mean he’s a kid). aaand i wish i didnt have to write this and it would just be obvious but we live in a sick sad world and it is sourced from a children’s cartoon so i feel its necessary. end of disclaimer)

NOW THAT THAT’S OUT OF THE WAY

- ok, first reason’s a bit obvious - the nostalgia. holy hell, the feeling of rediscovering a ship that was popular when i was a preteen during the mid 2000s and discovering a totally new perspective on it as an adult comes with an almost totally overwhelming sense of nostalgia and comfort, as well as inspiration!! the kind of art that seems so common for zadr, these sketch pages of scenes and expressions and visual gags where artists would just scribble every idea they had and LOVE doing it, this was exactly the kind of art that made me so passionate about drawing as a kid, and it still sparks such a powerful feeling of love and admiration for me to this day. fan content of iz and zadr is simultaneously achingly familiar and totally new and fascinating, and it just makes me SO damn happy to consume, it is most definitely my new comfort content. and just, GOD. THE ART!! SO GOOD. FUCK

- now for the characters themselves: for some reason i just really love the thought of a mid twenties, modern Dib?? lanky goth dork, disaster bi, depressed as shit, uses bad sweaters and memes to cope?? when i was a kid i didn’t even LIKE Dib, but now i totally sympathize with him! he’s just a hyper obsessive nerd wishing there was more to life than the situation he got stuck with, how wildly relatable. he was a pretty big asshole as a kid (even to people besides zim) but he was also totally isolated and constantly bullied, so there’s a lot of room for growth. i feel there’s a lot of juicy character development potential for that boy, and there’s always been a special place in my heart for characters who are totally sad and screwed and hopeless, but there’s one thing, or person, that means the world to them and could possibly save them…

- aliens. Zim. i love nonhuman characters, i love monsters, i love aliens, i love characters that don’t understand human shit (and thus have much less room for shame or fear bc theyre just totally oblivious the negatives of modern society) and need guidance (bonding!!) from their human. i also love morally grey characters and characters with skewed logic, they’re always really interesting, and Zim himself just has such a unique personality and set of mannerisms, he contradicts himself a lot and you can never quite expect how he’ll behave, and i love that in a character, it makes them super versatile and fun, especially since there’s so many different possibilities for their development. Also, Zim is a gremlin, a little shit, and a disaster. I also love those traits in a character. And don’t even get me started on his character design?? big sparkly eyes? expressive antennae? monster teeth? complimenting colors? he’s adorable.

- mutual obsession. for someone like Dib, who seems almost repulsed by how boring and slow the people around him are, Zim quite literally personifies Dib’s  escapist fantasies, both as an inhuman entity from beyond the stars, and as a person who’s knowledge, charisma and mystery far exceeds that of anyone Dib has met in his entire life. (so basically what i’m saying is that for a shunned, jaded misanthropist, an actual alien is terribly alluring, even if said alien is dangerous, stupid, and possibly insane). not to mention Zim vindicates Dib’s entire life passion, the supernatural! Even when their relationship is totally negative, there is not a single inch of room for Dib to get tired of Zim. as mita explained, they validate each other. for Zim, WHO AGAIN, IS TOTALLY SHUNNED, ISOLATED, AND HATED BY EVERYONE HE KNOWS, Dib is the only person in the universe who gives a single shit about him!! he gives Zim credit as a threat, a capable invader, which if you ask me is the sole thing Zim is after (he’s hellbent on his mission because it would win him the approval of the tallest, all he’s ever wanted is recognition from the people he thinks so highly of). He literally gets depressed when Dib isn’t around to pay attention to him, not even the tallest were enough to motivate him before Dib came back. these two have no one and nothing without each other, and while lifelong nemeses is fine and dandy, i personally prefer friendship, affection and love, cause i’m a softie like that. how could they possibly get there after years of actively trying to kill each other?? well, i think under just the right circumstances it could become a possibility after a long, long time.

- growth. i. love. me. some. good. character growth. especially for characters with trauma/mental illness, bc again, relatable. these boys have issues, and as mita mentioned, their canon stories are actually INCREDIBLY sad! but the happy thought is, they could recover! they could help each other recover, for little reason other than the two are the only source of happiness for each other. now of course this also opens the gate for angst lovers, but at the same time offers potential for comforting, uplifting content of the boys supporting and inspiring each other, maybe even to the point of becoming happy and healthy enough to create the lives they want for themselves (as in appreciating life and doing things that make them actually happy instead of the delusions of grandeur they both sought when they were younger). gimme that positive shit and let the poor beans be happy  щ(ಠ益ಠщ)

- LITTLE THINGS. LITTLE THINGS THAT ONLY COME WITH CHILDHOOD FRIENDS. WITH HUMAN/NONHUMAN. WITH THE SHOW’S WEIRD LOGIC. Zim being the person Dib knows best and vice versa. Zim having an involuntary respect/admiration for Dib because he’s tall. Learning each other’s needs, limits, and communication methods, both emotionally and biologically. Sensitive antennae. Affectionate bickering. Being less insecure bc your partner literally has no idea why you see your flaws as flaws. Laughing at the flaws they do notice because they make no sense. Zim only wanting to eat waffles and chow mein. Dib being forced to overcome his depression lethargy and stay hygienic/keep the apartment clean because Zim has a sharper sense of smell and is afraid of germs. Endless conversation about anything and everything because they’re from literally different worlds, and endless intrigue. TOUCHING. TALKING. DOING EVERYTHING LIKE ITS THE VERY FIRST TIME AND ALWAYS NEEDING THE OTHER TO GUIDE THEM. HOLY HELL THERE IS SO MUCH POSSIBILITY FOR TINY LITTLE MOMENTS THAT MEAN THE WORLD. FUCK. GOT ME FUCKED UP.

so that wraps up the why. fuck man. its just such a good ship. if you read this big ass text post, thank you for indulging me, i hope you enjoyed it! because i enjoy it very much 👀 so stick around if you’d like to for a shit load of IZ and zadr content on this blog, possibly (MAYBE) even from me!! come roll around in alien hell with me why dontcha ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ its a fun time! thanks for reading!!!

-

SO THAT’S MY MANIFESTO Y’ALL, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH YOUR OWN REASONS!! I WOULD LOVE FOR THIS POST TO JUST BECOME A BIG GIANT PILE OF LOVE AND YELLING!! GO NUTS! SCREAM ABOUT IT! INFODUMP! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! I’LL READ EVERY LAST REPLY! Y’ALL DESERVE TO ENJOY YOUR SHIP BC IT’S LITERALLY THE FUCKING BEST!!! LOVE Y’ALL!!!!!!

[doomedandstoned]

Nicolas Perrault from Rage of Samedi Taps Deep Emotion in New Solo Effort

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

By MelLie

NICOLAS "SCRIOS" PERRAULT -- some of you may have heard this name in the course of the German monster sludgers RAGE OF SAMEDI. German multi-instrumentalist, producer, live audio engineer, creative head in general, and bad-ass bassist of the aforementioned band. Often these artists are mostly referred to us in connection with the bands in which they play and we often know too little about their individual personalities and the solo projects they have to offer. Ashes on our heads!

After six years of walking the path of self-discovery and working on his authenticity as a solo artist, Nicolas has now announced the release of his first full-length album 'Shadows Cast At Dawn' (2020) on May 20th. That's why we should jump at this perfect opportunity to get a foretaste of the new album and take a closer look at Nick Perrault as "singer/songwriter" (a term that somehow doesn't entirely fit him).

With the song "Fires Within," Nick not only offers us a gloomy soul plough, but also a glance into his own soul. It is a gritty absolution punch, with abysmal soundscapes that deal with depression and anxiety. Emotional, melancholic, but in no way melodramatic -- a puristic and minimalistic-looking audio-active encounter with the emotionally frozen world and the breakout of those soul-damaging shackles. Like the Last Judgement runs Nick‘s throaty, heavy, powerful voice through the song and manifests itself like a memorial at the edge of the abyss into which the listener seems to look. This musical work is further underpinned by the impressive video-artwork, which was also created by Nick's own artistic hand.

I hope I have made you a little curious about the excursion into a border area of this heavy genre, which generally receives less attention here, and about the artistic work of Nicolas Perrault. Enjoy the ride through the abyss.

'Fires Within' music video

An Interview with Nicolas Perrault

By MelLie (Doomed & Stoned & Sunday's Heavy Tunes)

First of all, a warm "welcome", on behalf of Doomed & Stoned and our audience, Nick. It's only been a few months since you answered my questions as part of the gang of Rage Of Samedi! But this time, you are in the spotlight with your solo project! It‘s nice to have you here again!

It's an absolute honor to get to do this twice in a single year, so thanks for having me!

Nick, of course I have created my own impression of you in the process of preparing for this interview - at the latest now you still have the chance to escape! (laughs) How would you describe yourself? Who is this guy Nicolas Perrault?

I'm a multi-instrumentalist, tattooer, live audio engineer and producer and slightly sociophobic. So pretty much your average vegan straightedge dude who refuses to get a real job.

What made you decide to sell your soul to the "Devil Of Music"? In other words, how and when did you realize that you were burning with heart and soul to dedicate your life to music?

I've always played instruments, starting with the recorder, then organ and piano, bass, drums, guitar, bagpipes, and everything else. Way back when I joined my first band (a grunge/punk three-piece) and first picked up a bass, I realized I had a lot to say and music quickly became my outlet of choice. So about 18 years ago, but I didn't think of it in terms of a career yet, that only happened roughly six years ago, so I dropped out of university and started to work on my solo project.

You have left some very manifold and genre crossing footsteps on the pilgrimage through your personal music history: PTAH (doom), MOONSAIL (depressive pop-blues), and THRENODIA (black-metal) in former times are on my mind, current side projects are WILLE ZUR MACHT (avangarde) and you are the bass-riffer of Germany's blackened sludge doom monster RAGE OF SAMEDI! To what extent were these different musical influences and band experiences important for your progress as solo-artist?

I've spent a decade and a half working in bands, which would usually split up after a while, when the band became more serious and the others decided they'd rather pursue "real" jobs. So after a couple of those, I grew tired of waiting on the right people and just started working on my own. But every now and then I'd want to experiment with different genres, so I'd start a new project. The reason I'm now releasing under my actual name is that I didn't want to be stuck in one genre. I don't regret any of it, as they shaped who I am and the music I play now.

At the mention of your solo project, I could see the glint in your eyes. May 20th is the day! Let's light a sparkler for a minute! After three released EPs and six years of working as a solo artist, 'Shadows Cast At Dawn' will sail into the world as your first full-length album, which you even produced under the name of your own label Yew & Holly, right? What thoughts shoot spontaneously through your head right now?

Yup. I'm just incredibly excited to finally release this thing! It's been nearly six years and about eight different entire recordings, several changes to the track listing, heck- there are two tracks on the album that I only wrote this year! It's been a long, tedious journey and I'm glad for everything that happened along the way, because it made the final version of the album so much better!

Nick, let's turn the spotlight on the background information for your new album now. How would you describe your it to someone who has never heard your music before and which instruments play a major role?

A genre defying journey through post-modern life in a capitalist reality, focussing on depression and anxiety. Almost all of the songs are two sets of drums, a minute string section of violin and cello plus baritone guitar and vocals, that together create soundscapes so vast you might mistake them for an assassin's creed map.

Listening a little deeper into your work, one does not miss your natural fondness for philosophical thinking -- correct me if I am wrong with my assumption. Where do you get your inspirations from? And is there a message you want to convey to the listeners?

Well, I did study philosophy way back when. I tend to use naval imagery to paint a lyrical picture of depression and bipolar disorder, as a means of sharing the way I experience the world. It's likely not the most accessible thing you will ever hear, but it's a sincere expression of myself and that's really all I can offer.

"Fires Within," btw. Also one of my personal favorites of your album - is the amuse-gueule for our listeners What is the meaning behind this song and what moved you, writing the lyrics for this song?

"Fires" is all about setting boundaries and tearing down unhealthy relationships. If you have people in your life that hold you back instead of supporting you, ditch their ass! They're not worth the time and will poison any creative endeavor. Everyone knows at least a handful of these negative feckers and so did I. I spent years trying to help them get through their shit, but whenever I needed them they'd be more interested in getting drunk.

It's an unburdening from dead weight we carry, a cleansing, if you will. The chorus says "look not towards time, it brings only decay and destruction " and I think this is key to ridding yourself from negativity. Focus on your ultimate goal, that transcends trends and mood swings, that lives beyond time, and let it guide you. Don't stray too much from the path, or these negative influences will be right there waiting to cut you down.

"Fires Within"

Call upon the wind To wipe the surface clean He brings the rain and with it Absolution To carry with it the dust And bittersweet memories lost

Look not towards time To save your soul from fires It brings only decay and with it Destruction The fires burn from within Feast on the sand and it's running thin

Turn away from everything you hold dear To keep yourself safe from despair Cause all they bring is but loss All that remains is darkness when they are all gone Darkness that stretches like shadows cast from a new dawn

I would like to make a short swerve to the album cover. It is the wonderful artwork of Maryland based illustrator Luke Martin (Suburban Avenger Studios) who counts some famous musicians among his clients (Foo Fighters, Queens of the Stone Age, Arctic Monkeys, Red Hot Chili Pepper and others). How does the artwork relate to "Shadows Cast To Dawn"?

I've been a huge fan of Luke's work for years and a while ago he posted this picture to his Instagram. I was looking for something very specific to use as an album cover at the time. I needed it to evoke claustrophobia and a feeling of being safe inside whilst at the same time showing an outside, detached from the rest, just out of reach.

So imagine my jaw dropping as I saw this picture for the first time. It just struck me. So I wrote Luke, if he'd sell it. He had never sold a photograph before (plenty of awesome illustrations, though) so needless to say, I was very happy he did. He basically captured exactly what I had conceptualized -- that it's an actual photograph just makes it even better, as the concept is very much abstract but now has an actual physical representation.

The title "Shadows Cast At Dawn" was something that I had floating around in my head for ever. So when I began to work on the album that became the working title. Since I've worked on it for so long, that title has- in a way- effected everything I wrote, so it seemed to fit perfectly by the end.

Is there a special favourite place where you prefer to let your ideas mature? - a kind of soul-flyer place? I know you live in a small, rather idyllic place and not in a vibrant artists' metropolis! Whereby this way of living has advantages as well as disadvantages for an artist, right?

I love forests, oceans and mountains, so I'm pretty much alright with any surroundings, as long as I can escape civilization from time to time. Living out in the countryside allows me to focus, as you pretty much know where to find people, if you're looking for company but at the same time, you know where you are less likely to be found.

Sure, I need to travel a lot more to get anywhere and there aren't as many connections to be made face to face, but digitalization has granted us loners access to that aspect of life from the comfort of our homes, so I'd say it really depends on what you need to stay sane.

With the release of this album, you could now realize one of your dreams. Do we have another sparkler to light? What else do you have in the works? Are there any future plans that float in space? Or do you still carry around another big dream in your head?

I've already started recording for the next album, so fingers crossed that this time it won't take as long. Apart from that, I really want to tour the world, but circumstances aren't exactly ideal for that, at the moment. Apart from the music, I also tattoo and paint and hope to be doing more of that alongside music in the future. So if y'all wanna get some ink, hit me up!

Thanks a lot Nick, for giving us a deeper insight into your solo project and the things that move you! It's been very entertaining having this conversation with you here. We all will keep our eyes upon Nicolas "Scrios" Perrault in anticipation of your success!

Thank you very much, Mel, it's been my pleasure!

Leave Me To The Waves by Nicolas Perrault

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[theroseclubb]

INTERVIEW WITH MAGGIE 👼🏻

Q: What's your name?

A: My name is Maggie.

Q: What's your sign?

A: I'm a Libra (Oct. 19).

Q: What's something you wish you could shout out to the world right now?

A: STOP FOCUSING ON SUPERFICIAL THINGS AND JUDGING A PERSON’S WORTH BASED ON FIRST IMPRESSIONS.

Q: What's your biggest fear?

A: It sounds generic, but I'm super afraid of the unknown. I guess specifically big changes where I can't predict the outcome.

Q: How do you deal with vulnerability?

A: I talk to people I trust about it and sometimes they offer advice, but I actually find the process of writing down what I'm feeling and trying to explain it to someone else helps me understand myself more. If I'm feeling vulnerable because of a person, I distance myself from them.

Q: What do you believe in?

A: Empathy, growth and self care. Morning/night routines are dope.

Q: What's something considered uninteresting by friends/family that you enjoy/find intriguing?

A: My family don't really understand my (creative and visual) taste so they don't find films or music I love as interesting as I do, but it's understandable because taste is subjective. I'm glad my friends have more similar interests though.

Q: How did you know someone loved you/you loved them?

A: When I love someone I think about them a lot and wanna hang out with them and talk and just do idle things. I don't think I'd be certain someone loved me unless they told me explicitly. Perhaps I'd have a feeling or something, but I'm not sure.

Q: Where does creativity have a place your life?

A: Everywhere, it lingers. In situations where I am allowed to be more liberal such as in my art, writing and daydreaming I feel like it's more prominent.

Q: What's the scariest thing you've done that was totally worth it?

A: There was this test I had to do to get into the high school I go to and I had spent like, a year preparing for it. I'm glad I did because it gave me the opportunity to meet a lot of great people.

Q: What's something you've done in the past you definitely wouldn't do now?

A: Cut my own hair.

Q: How do you deal with your insecurities?

A: In those situations I talk to people, but I don't feel super dependent on my friends; I'm just more open with them. Sometimes I watch a bunch of like, skincare routines.

Q: What kind of music are you into?

A: I used to like indie music a LOT, and I still do, but this past year and a half my taste in music has become more vague. One of my favourite songs is Moon, 12:04am by offonoff and I like Frank Ocean a lot. R&B and indie are my favourite genres.

Q: What's a hobby/person that makes you purely happy just by the thought of it/them?

A: I really enjoy viewing/listening to other people's creations. I'm not sure if it constitutes as a hobby, but it feels very nice when I find something or someone I admire (creatively, conceptually, or in any way). I'm also into photography/film, I think it's super cool but I'm not good at it.

Q: What's something you'd like to change about your current self?

A: I wish I could communicate with people easier and express my ideas in a more clear way.

Q: What's been your greatest accomplishment to date?

A: I'd say my relationships or an amalgamation of all my other achievements. Maybe, just surviving this long.

Q: What's something you do when coping with bad feelings/loneliness?

A: It's probably not the best approach, but I just distract myself through music or reading or watching videos/film. I try to distance myself from people and think about the situation a bit more objectively, but it never works. Sometimes I just sleep on it.

Q: Who do you look up to creatively?

A: A lot of indie artists and filmmakers, as well as mainstream ones. Just everyone I admire (creatively). I also have so much respect for creators that raise awareness in their work for issues such as LGBT+ and POC representation. I think it's great to see parts of yourself reflected in the art or artist you admire and it decreases the stigma surrounding those subjects (if that makes sense).

Q: Who do you look up to for strength or confidence when needed?

A: My favourite artists and my friends.

Q: What was something someone said that you found to be so true about yourself, written, sung in a song, talked in video?

A: "You're insecure," from One Direction's What Makes You Beautiful.

Q: Who do you think is incredibly strong and amazing?

A: So many people! A lot of them are included inhttps://www.newstatesman.com/politics/politics/2014/04/heroes-our-time-top-50 so I'll link it instead of rambling on and on.

Q: When's the last time you purely smiled?

A: Someone wrote me a birthday card a few days ago and it was the best one I've ever received.

Q: When's the last time you cried?

A: Emotionally, around January.

Q: If you are, what message are you personally trying to send to others on social media/irl? And if not, what positive movements/groups/accounts do you support/agree with?

A: My friend actually recommended this TED talk (I Was Almost A School Shooter | Aaron Stark | TEDxBoulder) and her favourite quote was "Love the ones you feel deserve it the least because they need it the most," which I agree with.

Q: What's a question you wish people asked you more? And what's a question you wish you could answer more truthfully?

A: I wish people would ask me how I feel more often. Not just my emotions, but like my interests and preferences. Coincidentally those questions are also the ones I wish I could answer with more honesty.

Q: What's something most people don't know about you?

A: I talk a lot, but I actually don't really like talking that much. I prefer it when someone else carries the conversation and I just have to react because it makes me feel more comfortable.

Q: If you could be able to do something you aren't able to do now, what would it be?

A: I'd like to move into an apartment in the city.

Q: What do you wish for your future self?

A: I just hope that I'm happy.

Q: As a girl/boy/genderqueer individual what's something you wish you didn't have to stress about?

A: What people think of me.

Q: What's something you wish someone you know, knew?

A: I wish my parents knew how much I love them and appreciate them because my family's not really into that sorta thing.

Q: What do you think is overrated?

A: I think people overrate some celebrities, but I also understand it because celebrities are idolised.

Q: When you're on your phone, what app/website do you find yourself on the most? Does this bother you?

A: Instagram, and it definitely bothers me.

[nadziejastar]

KH3 Plot Holes and Analyzing the Weapon Names of Organization XIII (Part 1)

After beating KH3, I was immensely disappointed. All I could think of was how poor the story was, how many plot holes there were, how many questions I had that should have been answered, how unsatisfying so many character arcs felt, and how little closure we got on so many topics Nomura previously promised answers to. Almost all the issues that felt unsatisfying or poorly explained are now being tied to the next game, when by all rights they should have been resolved in this one. And most of these subplots are now being tied to Union X, when they had no foreshadowing that they involved that game’s lore or original characters ever before.

One of the main topics I felt NO closure on was Ansem’s six apprentices, as well as Lea and Isa’s connection to them. We know Nomura originally intended 0.2 A Fragmentary Passage to be a full-volume game, and that it would have made the characters “more complicated”. Given the scenes chosen in Blank Points, it seems we would have learned much more about the apprentices and their fall to darkness. Here are the things Nomura said in interviews that indicate how much more we were supposed to learn about the original Organization XIII:

What sort of people were Organization members 3-8 as humans?

We know now that they had ordinary lives in Radiant Garden. In BbS we’ve seen one part of Xigbar’s past, as well as members 3-8. 3-6 were apprentices under Ansem the Wise and did things like act as guardsmen, but Axel and Saïx were just young boys who were friends.

What happened to Ansem the Wise?

He is left wandering in the Realm of Darkness. Ansem the Wise, who had been banished to the Realm of Nothingness by his six apprentices, in KHII, wanted to release the Kingdom Hearts made from people’s hearts that the Nobodies of his apprentices had made. The machine that he used for that ended up exploding, taking him with it. It looked as though he died, but we know from the secret event in BbS that he was sent into the Realm of Darkness. Ansem tried to encode the heart’s form into data with his machine, but it didn’t go as planned and the machine went berserk. Ansem the Wise was thrust into the Realm of Darkness, forgetting all of his memories except those concerning Sora.

Did Apprentice Xehanort really lose his memories? Master Xehanort commandeered Terra’s body, and became Ansem the Wise’s apprentice. According to Secret Ansem Report 1 From KHII, the young man asked to become a test subject for Ansem’s research so he could get his memories back. After that they began the study of darkness, but did he really lose his memories? And are those memories Terra’s or Master Xehanort’s?

Why is Xemnas searching for The Chamber of Waking?

To find Ventus. The Chamber of Waking is the room where Aqua leaves Ventus sleeping in Last Episode, and is a part of Castle Oblivion. As you can see from Xemnas calling Aqua’s armor his “friend”, it seems Xemnas has Terra’s memories and he is searching for Ventus, making the other Organization members look for the Chamber of Waking. The only one who can solve the mysteries of Castle Oblivion is Aqua, though, so the Organization was never able to find it.

What are the details of Ansem’s apprentices fall into darkness? Most of what had happened with Ansem’s apprentices before their fall into darkness is unknown, aside from what was touched upon in Secret Ansem Reports. And the mystery of “the plan that was decided on after Axel and Saix entered the Organization” that was talked about in the Secret Reports in Days still remains. According to Nomura there is still much about the Organization’s humans that has yet to be said.

Where is Master Xehanort’s keyblade? As was stated in Secret Ansem Report 13 in KHII, while studying darkness the young Xehanort opened the door to the heart of Radiant Garden. This would have been possible if he had a keyblade, but according to the Ansem Reports 4-8 in KH, he did not yet know about the keyblade at the time. In Last Episode Master Xehanort used his keyblade up until going to the world of darkness, but what happened to it after that...? 

Roxas, the "Sora + Ventus" Nobody, was able to use a Keyblade. In contrast Xemnas, the "Terra + Master Xehanort" Nobody, wasn't able to use a Keyblade. Why is this?

I'd rather that point remain a mystery. It's possible that he intentionally wasn't using one.

The King seems to come in contact with Kairi, the heroine from Kingdom Hearts I.

Because the story takes place before Kingdom Hearts I, the part about Kairi couldn’t be ignored. However, the cause for her going to Destiny Island and her detailed history are not revealed. It draws on the mysterious special existence.

Why did Kairi end up with Sora and Riku?

It has to do with Aqua’s “magic”. Nine years before KH, Kairi was thrust into the outside world, and found herself on Sora and Riku’s world. Ansem Seeker of Darkness thought that she had been able to search for a keyblade wielder, but what actually saved her was the magic spell Aqua had put on her.

Lea and Isa also lived in Radiant Garden apart from the Organization members up to No.6.

That’s right, however they are merely residents at this time. They’re just innocent Frisbee playing boys.

Where did the Organization’s coat and mark come from?

Xemnas remembering his human years. One year after BbS, Xehanort as well as five other apprentices toss aside their hearts. Then the Nobody Xemnas was born, and the Organization which he creates takes a lot of things from his memories as a human. But as Xemnas had two people who he was, Terra and Master Xehanort, he takes from both of their memories.

In KH BbS, Master Xehanort's goal behind opening Kingdom Hearts was to "create a new world." But in this game, he says it is to "reset the world." Why the difference? What was revealed in this game was another piece of the truth: his goal was "this world is no longer any good, and we have to recreate it from scratch."

We are interested in why Xehanort would come to such a conclusion. At first, I did want to use a next game to dig down into how Xehanort went from that simple boy playing the chess-like game to an admirer of the darkness. But, if I do that, then the Dark Seeker Chronicle wouldn't have ended with KH3 after all (laughs.) Some ideas had solidified to a degree, but it's shelved for now.

The Dark Seeker arc has concluded, but since when have you been thinking about the conclusion?

The Dark Seeker arc has been a concept ever since KH2. In those days, I just kind of threw together and decided an outline. I was often told by the manga artist that they felt "the characters come alive however they want", and some parts did change from their original conceptualization, but in the grand scheme of things not much changed.

Emphasis mine on the mention of things changing from their original conceptualization. There are many details I suspect were changed, while keeping the overall grand scheme the same. I believe there was supposed to be way more backstory to the Organization than what we actually got. So I decided to look for possible clues in the story. 358/2 Days revolves around Organization XIII and I noticed that the names of their weapons are very unique and interesting. They may very well shed light on what the members’ backstories could have been.

In Days, the weapons are sorted into specific Gear types. The are three types that are the most interesting and most defining for the character. The first is Pandora Gear, “a formidable weapon with exceptional capabilities.” For Organization members, this Gear grants them two of their most powerful weapons; the color scheme is the same for all of the Organization's weapons provided by the Pandora's Gear, consisting of black, gold, and blue or red. 

The second is Zero Gear, “a powerful weapon that draws forth its wielder's true worth.” The Zero Gear is emblazoned with the Nobody insignia, signifying that for the Organization members, as well as others who wear the Black Coat, this gear produces that character's signature weapon. 

And finally, perhaps the MOST interesting is Mystery Gear “a weapon that draws forth its wielder's personality.” When equipped, it transforms the user's weapon into one that "draws forth its wielder's true personality.” Were these weapons a hint at the mysteries of Organization XIII’s true personalities? I will analyze all of Organization XIII’s weapons, but not necessarily in order.

No. IX -  Demyx (Melodious Nocturne)

Prefers to kick back with his sitar, and leave the dirty work to the water under his command.

Not all the Organization members have weapon names that are super interesting, possibly indicating a fleshed out backstory was not thought of for all of them during the creation of 358/2 Days.

Most of Demyx’s Sitars are named after musical or rock and roll terms. Basic Model, Tune-Up, Quartet, Overture, Old Hand, Da Capo, Power Chord, Fermata, Interlude, Serenade, Songbird, Rise to Fame, Rock Star, Eight-Finger, Concerto, Harmonics, Million Bucks, Fortissimo, Up to Eleven, Arpeggio, and Prince of Awesome (joke weapon). The joke weapon is a tennis racket and its name is a reference to the "Prince" brand of rackets, which have the general shape of Demyx's sitar. It may also refer to the anime and manga series, The Prince of Tennis.

Demyx’s Pandora Gear is Sanctuary, a reference to the English version of Utada Hikaru’s opening song. His Zero Gear is Arpeggio; musically, an arpeggio is the playing of notes from a single chord in rapid succession. Dance water, dance! His Mystery Gear is After School, a broom. It is probably a reference to after-school clean-up of a classroom, which is common in Japanese schools. For some, this assignment may have been given as punishment for getting caught sleeping in class. Because it brings out Demyx's true personality, it may be a reference to his tendency to "sweep things under the rug" or evidence that he was a rather ordinary person compared to the rest of the Organization.

No. XII - Larxene  (The Savage Nymph)

Wields sharp knives and a sharper tongue. Her lightning strikes as quick as her temper.

All of Larxene’s knives have French names relating to storms and heavenly bodies. Her weapon names translate to Sharp Edge, Thunderstorm, Whirlwind, Tempest, Carmine, Meteor, Star, Irregular, Dissonance, Eruption, Setting Sun, Indigo, Wave, Flood, Squall, Typhoon, Eradicate, Southern Cross, Luminous, Moonlight, and Damselfly (joke weapon).

Some of her weapon names seem like a reference to Final Fantasy games. Squall, Lightning, Typhoon (summon) and Luminous (the engine). Other than that, they seem to describe a stormy femme fatale personality. The Tempest is a play that was written by William Shakespeare in the early 1600s. When the play begins, Prospero, the deposed Duke of Milan, and his teenage daughter, Miranda, live on a remote island where they have been stranded for the past twelve years. Unbeknownst to them, the storm is the work of Prospero, who aims to shipwreck them on his island. It is a tale of magic, deception, revenge, and marriage. The main political theme of the play is gaining power and control over others. A reference to her role in Castle Oblivion? 

Her Pandora Gear is Vol de Nuit or Night Flight in English. Vol de Nuit is the name of a book from the French author Antoine de Saint Exupéry, in which a pilot is trapped in a storm. A major theme of the novel is whether doing what is necessary to meet a long-term goal is more important than an individual's life. Her Zero Gear is Lightning. Her Mystery Gear is Light Bulb. The light bulb is the symbol of invention, intelligence, and a great idea. Perhaps Larxene was a lot more complex and intelligent than we have gotten a chance to see.

No. XI - Marluxia (Graceful Assassin)

In the arc of his scythe, flowers grow and all else perishes. His pretty face hides ugly motives.

All of Marluxia’s weapons are named after flowers along with a typically negative adjective. The only exception is the Stirring Ladle, one of his joke weapons. His weapons allude to some tragic backstory, as well as his inner resolve.

The rest of his weapons are Fickle Erica, Jilted Anemone, Proud Amaryllis, Mad Safflower, Poor Melissa, Tragic Allium, Mournful Cineraria, Pseudo Silene, Faithless Digitalis, Grim Muscari, Docile Vallota, Quiet Belladonna, Parting Ipheion, Lofty Gerbera, Gallant Achillea, Noble Peony, Fearsome Anise, Vindictive Thistle, Fair Helianthus, and Solemn Magnolia. 

His Pandora Gear is Hallowed Lotus.The lotus flower is regarded in many different cultures, especially in eastern religions, as a symbol of purity, enlightenment, self-regeneration and rebirth. His Zero Gear is Graceful Dahlia. The dahlia is known to represent one who stands strong in his/her sacred values. His Mystery Gear is Dainty Bellflowers or Dainty Liliies-of-the Valley in Japanese. Bellflowers symbolize unwavering love. The Lily of the valley means "return to happiness" and most often symbolizes chastity, purity, happiness, luck and humility. It does apparently indicate that Marluxia was not conceived as an evil character, even as early as 358/2 Days’ writing.

No. X - Luxord (Gambler of Fate)

Life, to him, is just a game to be won...and he has all the time in the world to do it.

Nearly all of Luxord’s weapons are named after tarot cards, with the exception of his joke weapon. His joke weapon is Finest Fantasy 13, which takes the appearance of many compact discs; an obvious reference to how the PS1 Final Fantasy games came on multiple discs. 

The rest of his cards are named after the Major Arcana of the Tarot. The Fool, The Magician, The Star, The Moon, Justice, The Hierophant, The World, Temperance, The High Priestess, The Tower, The Hanged Man, Death, The Hermit, Strength, The Lovers, The Chariot, The Sun, The Devil, The Empress, and The Emperor.

His Zero Gear is Fair Game, his main weapon from Kingdom Hearts II and not related to the Tarot. His Mystery Gear is High Roller’s Secret. Instead of being related to the Tarot, its name and design is drawn from the superstition that four-leaf clovers are blessed with good luck. His Pandora’s Gear is The Joker. The Joker is often compared to The Fool in the Tarot deck. They share many similarities both in appearance and play function. 

Nomura said that the “Wild Card” that Luxord gave Sora while he was fading away will come into play later and that perhaps it holds the key to Sora's revival. The Fool Arcana is often also called the Wild Card in Tarot decks. The Fool represents new beginnings, having faith in the future, being inexperienced, not knowing what to expect, having beginner's luck, improvisation and believing in the universe.

Luxord wrote a report in 358/2 Days indicating he admires children for some reason:

“I find myself envying the children. Perhaps some fundamental difference exists between those who become Nobodies as adults and otherwise. The longer you have lived, the more you are positioned to lose with such a gamble. But a child can look forward, unafraid even in the face of immeasurable odds. I doubt they even see life as a gamble the way we do.”

[lalka-laski]

1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? Both 

2. What is home to you? Anywhere with my loved ones 

3. What was the last lie you told? Definitely something minor, I just can’t remember it. 

4. Does everyone deserve the truth? That’s a good question. I guess if an individual seeks/demands the truth then they deserve it. 

5. What is the creepiest toy ever made? FUCKING FURBY

6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. Where do I even begin? 

7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) Getting out of bed in the morning is actually much easier than I make it out to be. Yet I lay there for ages beforehand agonizing and dreading it. The same goes for working out and going to the gym. It’s all the lead-up that’s worse than the activity itself. 

8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? Several months ago I was doing some intensive therapy and EMDR to detach myself from traumatic memories. 

9. How many all nighters have you pulled? I’ve never counted, but not many. I love sleep too much. 

10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? Hand gestures maybe? Clapping? Jumping up and down? 

11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? Again, I’ve never counted. I will say I’ve had far more “flings” than actual relationships though. 

12. What is your paradise? Laying in bed next to my honey, a breeze from an open window chills the room but we’re cozy under the comforter. Our favorite candle is lit (Winter White Woods), and we’re silently reading our books, setting them down only to occasionally sneak a kiss. It’s my personal heaven. 

13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) Certainly NEITHER one of those, as they both drive me crazy. I like consistent white noise from a fan or AC or something.

14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? Beats me. 

15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? I don’t understand the question 

16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? Because they’re wealthier and more attractive than any average person could ever hope to be, and as a society, we prize those qualities. I also think many of us find it to fun to fantasize or live vicariously through beautiful, rich people. And to answer the second part of the question, I do care about celebrities but I try not to conceptualize them and remind myself that they’re still people. 

17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? Walk slowly in front of me in a store/other public place. 

18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? I sure do, but I’m working on it. I can be dramatic at times... The pros of this are that situations that worry me are never as bad as I envision them to be. But alternatively, that means things I hype up in my head aren’t as great as I imagine either. 

19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? Well I think every child in American public schools is forced to learn the recorder at some point. After that, I played the clarinet for a few years. Then as a teenager, I took “guitar lessons” with a friend of mine but we never did much guitar playing.... 

20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? I do! I prefer them to any other type of photo because I can control how I look in a selfie. 

21. List 3 things you like about yourself? My friendliness, my empathy, my neatness/organization. 

22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? I’ve been given lots of great advice over the years. I’m just bad at thinking on the spot... 

23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? I feel that I do. I have a very strong maternal nature, I love babies/children and I have a lot of experience caring for them. Of course, I know *raising* a child is much different than simply feeding/changing/playing, but I believe much of that is a “learn as you go” type of deal. 

24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? Cleaning helps me relax and feel better about my life. I also love taking hot baths, journaling, reading, vegging out in front of the TV or enjoying a glass of wine or two. 

25. When was the last time you felt awkward? The day I was born and I haven’t stopped since 

26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? I’m introverted in the sense that I value quiet and solitude, and I feel most at peace when I’m alone. But I have good social skills and (I think) I’m better at interacting with other people than most self-professed introverts. 

27. What constitutes a good friend? Loyalty, honesty, established trust. Similar interests and sense of humor are important too, IMO. 

28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? Just one best friend 

29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? Donald Trump, or anything related to him. 

30. What is your dream job? Writer 

31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? I like this question! There are success stories from both ends of the spectrum. The optimist in me wants to believe that hard work and grit will take you further than any natural talent will, and in many cases, this is true. However, I also believe in a “work smarter, not harder” approach. Sometimes cutting corners and accomplishing tasks in a more “lazy” way is more innovative. 

32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe? I’m not an animal person at all. I think because I’m a vegetarian and because I just have a sensitive, compassionate nature, people assume I’m an animal lover. In truth, I’d like most animals to keep their distance from me. 

33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? E v e r y t h i n g. 

34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? Wonderland 

35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. No thank you. Not worth the time. 

36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? That depends entirely on whose body I get. 

37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? Sell it. I’m poor. 

38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? The most formative class I can remember was 10th grade Advanced English. Prior to that, I was a bookworm and always excelled at reading comprehension in school. But it wasn’t until this class that I learned to deeply and critically analyze texts. To recognize the significance of a single word. To appreciate the power of just one detail of a scene or a story. It was in this class that I realized no element of a text is insignificant.  39. Name the last book you read. Currently reading “The Favorite Daughter” by Patti Callahan Henry 

40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? I’m an exceptionally emotional person so everything about my life would change. Everything!

41. When was the last time you made the first move? Almost never. It’s just not my style. 

42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? It’s not my taste 

43. What was the last movie you watched? I truly can’t remember 

44. Do you like and appreciate your life? I do! 

45. Do you like and appreciate yourself? Again, I do! 

46. When was the last time you cried? Couple days ago 

47. What are you scared of? Almost everything 

48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? I’m not going there... 

49. What are some of your hobbies? Reading, writing, crafting 

50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make? I mess up pronouns in conversation a lot. If I’m talking about 2 or more people, I might mistakenly interchange their pronouns. 

51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? I like to think so. Sometimes I’m maybe more distant than I should be and I’m usually not the person to arrange plans. But still, I’m reliable and loyal and I’m always available to lend an ear. 

52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? NOPE ha ha ha. 

53. What have you learned the hard way? Most lessons

54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? Love. Whether it’s from family, friends or a SO. I need to know I’m loved, appreciated and supported. 

55. Which medium do you use for expressing your artistic emotions? (Singing, writing, etc.) I’m a writer, so the written word is my preferred and most used medium. But I like to dabble in other art forms too: painting, drawing, crafts. And I sing A LOT, which could arguable be a form of emotional expression. 

56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? Creative 

57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done? Enroll in therapy 

58. What is your ideal meal? Mexican or Mediterranean 

59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? Tell me he voted for Trump or really anything of that nature. 

60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? A very select few. I love rabbits, deer, goats, cats. That might be it... 

61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? Those hidden fees when buying concert tickets online 

62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? Fast food. Really any kind of cheap, junk food that’s void of any nutritional value but tastes so fucking good I can’t resist. 

63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? Road work ahead? Uh yeah, I sure hope it does. 

64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? No, I was never into them. 

65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? I’m very happy to see beauty ideals (slowly) expanding to be more inclusive. But we still have a long ways to go

66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? Well 3/5 days of my work week require me to be up at 5:30 am. I usually cry and cringe when my alarm goes off, and sometimes continue to cry and cringe through my entire morning routine. But I often feel better once I get to work, and I like the idea of having the whole day ahead of me. Sometimes it’s nice being awake before most of the world. 

67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? Anyone who knows me knows I’m all about Sleeping Beauty/Princess Aurora. I actually love all Princess movies. Oh, and Toy Story. I live for Toy Story. 

68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? The city, I like the convenience of walking anywhere I need to go and/or using public transport. As a non-driver, it’s pretty crucial for me. 

69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? The ocean, I suppose. Though neither of those options really speak to me. 

70. What are the best things about winter? COZINESS. I’m talking fireplaces, fuzzy slippers, cozy jammies, lots and lots of blankets! 

71. What scares you most about the future? The uncertainty of it. 

72. What makes you feel old? Modern slang. I have no idea what “kids these days” are saying, and I feel like such a loser when I try to use trendy lingo in conversation. 

73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? Majority of my day 

74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? I don’t make them 

75. What is your life story in 6 words? Making it up as I go. 

76. Describe yourself in one word. Emotional 

77. What bad habits do you do? Worrying, over-thinking, obsessing 

78. What genre of music do you listen to? A variety. But most of my favorites could be categorized somewhere in the realm of rock/alternative/pop rock/soft rock. 

79. Most prominent childhood memory? My earliest memory was the birth of my sister, one day before my third birthday. And I would say it’s one of, if not the most, important memory of mine, considering her significance in my life and the bond we share. 

80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? I only have sisters, so my life would be VASTLY different if I had a brother. I learned a great deal from my older sister, none of which would’ve been possible if she were a boy. 

81. Spirit animal? Deer

82. Do you believe in horoscopes? To an extent. I think they’re entertaining more than anything, and I do believe they can be used as a tool for self-reflection, goal setting, inspiration etc. 

83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given? Hmm... 

84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. I’m gonna say “my babies:” Hannah, Aubrie and Samantha. 

85. Favorite memory of your family. Oh there are too many to list! It’s never a dull moment when we’re together... 

86. What do you look for in a relationship? Passion 

87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? Several 

88. What is your opinion on social media? I’m a fan, but I try to limit my usage or at least be mindful of what I’m consuming. 

89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Realist? 

90. List some things that you think are overpriced? Medications of all kinds, feminine products or anything marketed specifically to women, vegetarian foods...  

91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? I don’t wanna go there 

92. What superpower would ruin the world? Mind-reading would cause a lot of issues I’m sure. 

93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? I can’t really think of anything 

95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? Poland or Iceland 

96. How do you approach people? That depends on the situation and environment but usually with a “hello” and a smile. 

97. What is your opinion on first impressions? I don’t believe they’re always correct. We all have off days. 

98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? I did a lot more outdoor activities as a kid than I do now.

99. What languages can you speak? English, a little Polish. 

100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? I’d like to say I can’t imagine it much worse than it is now but I’m not gonna tempt fate 

101. What do you do on your lazy days? Sleep late, stay in bed most of the day, sloth around. 

102. What ended your last relationship? He ended it, although I should have. We had too many differences that made a healthy relationship nearly impossible. And he was emotionally abusive, insulting and manipulative. 

103. Favorite food? Mexican or Mediterranean. I feel like I already answered this, no?

104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? ..... 

105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? I don’t get angry often. I get sad and upset, but not necessarily mad. 

106. What was the last friendship you broke? I can’t recall 

107. Do you have any pet peeves? Several 

108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? A client this morning 

109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? I’m easily stressed  so, every day. 

110. What part of your personality do you want to change? My anxiety 

111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? My friends and boyfriend are all equally influential 

112. What is your biggest motivation? Making my family proud

113. What did you want to be when you were little? An author/illustrator 

114. What are some things that you are good at? Writing 

115. What is one thing you want to be good at? Singing. I’m not bad, but I’d like to be *good* 

116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? THESE 

117. How important is privacy to you? Quite important. Nothing bothers me more than invasive, prying people. 

118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? Kindness 

119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? Uh... probably some ridiculous story I made up while drunk 

120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? I don’t have a “go-to” 

122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone? Nothing comes to mind 

123. What is your morning routine? It depends on the day. Ideally, I get up and have a nice cup of tea and ease into my day. But more often than not, I hit snooze a hundred times and then end up rushing out the door with my hair unbrushed and my shoes barely on. 

124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering? It’s all worth remembering 

125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? Help. I think... 

126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" It’s not my game 

127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? Honesty is great, but sometimes it can mean hurt feelings. But it’s possible to be truthful while still polite. 

128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? Making plans with no follow-through, flirting with no actual intentions of taking things further (with the knowledge that the other party *would* like that). I don’t know though, I think often men accuse women of “leading them on” when they’re really not. 

129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? I don’t believe in the friend zone

130. What do you admire most about your friends? Their loyalty to me and refusal to give up on me

131. What do you admire most about your family? See above

132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" It’s not my forte 

133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? A healthy combination of both

134. When is it time to end a friendship? When it’s no longer serving you or providing anything positive to your life 

135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? I’d have to think about that

136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? I’m pleased with all the course I took 

137. What are your favorite baby names? Aurora Michelle for a girl. Levi Joseph for a boy. 

138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? Yesterday 

139. What instantly ruins a conversation? An uninterested participant, someone who only talks but refuses to listen 

140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs. I feel I’ve already answered this

141. Biggest disappointment. Uh

142. Do you have any self-restraint? Hardly 

143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? Moved into an apartment 

144. Prized possession(s)? My claddagh, a bracelet from Nora, my journal collection, many photographs 

145. What is your opinion on second chances? We all deserve them 

146. Text or call? TEXT TEXT TEXT 

147. What do you like about the 21st century? The internet is pretty great. I couldn’t imagine life without it.

148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? Focus more on school and less on partying 

149. How organized are you? Quite organized 

150. Favorite mode of transportation. Train

[past-perfect-future-tense]

The Elements of Chance (Part 2 of 1)

Here’s part two of part one of my book. As always ask me anything about the book or if you’d like to be tagged. More teasing and banter between our protagonist and antagonist.

My feet had not failed me. In fact they had taken me to the next exhibit across the way from the Rothko one. As I began touring this part of the 4th floor, I found I was beginning to calm down and gain my composure. It was all I could not to think about him and what had occurred.

Why must I be that woman? The one who lacks grace, agility, and charm as those traits were so foreign to me; much like this country, this continent and it’s in habitants.

 Cildo Meirelos, a Brazilian artist who used different types of medium to convey his visions. I began to walk from room to room admiring his insights on life. Dare I say this? I was enjoying this exhibit much more than the other. A conceptual challenge; yes, that was what he presented and I felt compelled to be drawn in and captured by the nuances he has created.

 As I began to view the 4th room, there, in all of its bright wonder was the Red Shift. The Red Shift was a room completely composed of red objects, sans the walls, which were a bright, crisp white which in contrast to the walls made the various shades of red much brighter and vivid. I felt this room. I felt this color, the loudness, the brashness, the brightness, the boldness. The depth of it was a comfort, as if it was there for me to thrive in. I could never feel this way about any other color. This hue is warm, inviting, attention grabbing, in your face type of thing that with an addition of white makes the shade it becomes all of those opposite qualities. I feel all of that from inside of me, as they too change, and yet retain that which makes them wild and amazing.

 I could feel someone from behind, standing very close; close enough to make me aware that I was not alone. This reminded me of the incident from before so I was in a heightened state of awareness as to not hurt some other poor soul from the museum today.

“You look like you just got up off of that sofa and walked out of the exhibit.”

I heard that familiar voice, as from before it would be forever etched into memory like a shape on stained glass from a window that somehow looked in and opened up into my soul. As I turned around ever so careful as to not fall into him again, I was able to look at him but this time with a bit more clarity and calmer demeanor. “A creation of a Latin artist, I should have known when I saw you in the other exhibit. You should get back in there, before I steal from the museum and never return you.”

 I smiled at him, because I wasn’t sure of what else to do. Then I decided I should speak. How could I ever match a comment like that? “You see that guy over there, the one in the black jacket at the next room, well, we could blame him. We could say he stole me instead of you. He could be our scapegoat. No one would ever now, who would believe him over us?” He smiled again as I returned his coyness with some of my own.

As I had leaned into him to converse, I couldn’t help but realize how close I was to him. Much closer than before, close enough to capture his scent. It was intoxicating, the deepness to the musk, almost as sweet as the depth. It was a dangerous combination. I felt like was going to fall into him and all I wanted was to lay my face in his neck, not to really even kiss him just to rest my lips on his warm skin.

“Yes, I believe he could be the guy to blame. Look at his shifty eyes, see, he’s looking at us like we know what he is up too.” He said as I moved my head slightly away from him to see his facial expression. His eyes, they were so full of life and joy. The blue, I will never get over that blue.

“Wait, but you are the bad guy remember not him. You’re the thief.” I said to him with conviction. It wasn’t a lie; he did take something from me the minute I laid my eyes on him. He took a part of my soul and I wasn’t sure that I wanted it back.

“Yeah, but everyone is guilty of something.” He said to me as I looked up at him only to find that he was searching again. Did I seem to hide something? In all honesty I was. How could he know though? His words were like a sword, bright, shiny, and polished to provide a painful yet elegant way to dissolve my secrets from me. Not just yet will I divulge what is hiding inside of me, I wasn’t ready to succeed. I needed to keep them for me. What would happen if I did give in? What would he give me in return? I knew I wasn’t ready to risk that much on something as fragile as this would turn out to be.

“That maybe true, but tell me, is it guilt that keeps secrets or is it something more? Guilt leads to something sinister, what if the reason isn’t sinister? What if it is innocence?” I questioned him; maybe he was hiding something too.

“Why would innocence hide anything? How would it know anything was bad? Innocence is purity.” He quickly added more fuel to the fire that somehow was started between us.

“What if something was innocent, then it would not even know it was hiding anything in all of its’ naivety?”  

“Naivety” He smirked “Hmmm, I can see why you wear the color red.”

“Am I being facetious?” I taunted him and he was quite responsive which I found irresistible.

“Yes, I like that though. A quality not many people possess.” He was sincere and that was a rare quality that I found in him. I was going to have to keep my wits about me with this one.

 I began to walk forward to the next room. Out of my peripheral vision I could see that he was walking behind me. Why would he be trying to befriend me? Did I look that desperate? Was it my look of longing I gave him that somehow triggered a response within him? So many questions I had and would I have the courage to ask him for the answers, that was the real question. I stopped in front of the next room. It was the other room that intrigued me from this exhibit.

Radios, I could think of many ways this piece could evoke curiosity. The placement of them, what they ushered in so many years ago and will they be a dinosaur in the future? I suspect they may and when that happens I know I will feel like an ancient race of living creatures that have somehow seen their demise. He was standing next to me, taking the collection in.

“You know, they say video killed the radio star.” I nodded my head in his direction and then to that of the transistors.

“Ouch, that hurt!” He said with alarm, rubbing his chest like I had shot an arrow into to his heart. “So what are you trying to say?” He began to smile wryly.

“Nothing that hasn’t been said before, I’m afraid.” As I grinned back at him, he laughed at the thought of me teasing him about his age.

“You don’t watch television?” He continued to look at me as he waited for my answer.

“Well, no, not really. I prefer to read and use my imagination. What about you?”

“I love to read and I too don’t watch it that much myself. Books are far more inspiring, words in general. To me, a book that I can pick a phrase out and it inspires me to paint or write something myself, then that is truly special. If I can’t find anything like that in the book, then I feel the book is a waste.” He was explaining his view of inspiration; it was not so different from my own. I maybe a little less critical of others work though, but then again don’t make me repeat that in front of a firing squad.

“So why do you like the radio so much?” he asked me.

“Well, for instance, the element of surprise. I like turning it on and when a song that I love comes on and is playing, the spontaneity, it just feels more special. It is in its own spotlight and nothing can take it away. I feel even more this way when I’m in the car driving or as a passenger. I feel it is something I will never get over I’m afraid. Not that I want to, either.” He was looking at me intently as I explained my silly childhood appreciation.

 He had turned around and was looking toward the door, taking a few steps in that general direction. Then turned back to me and motioned me to come toward him. “Come with me. There are others things to see. I think what is ahead of us will interest you more.” He was standing there waiting for me to follow him. “Please, do I have to beg?” He eyes were big and he made a face of succession.

“No, you don’t have to beg.”

“Do you trust me?” What kind of question was that? He desired my trust?

“No.” I lied. The truth should be known I did trust him, far more than I should. I was a bit afraid, not of him but of myself. That made me uneasy; uneasy in my own skin and that was something I didn’t like.  

He reached out his hand for me to take. It was at this point that I began to notice the other patrons were watching us and our strange dance we trying to find a rhythm for.

Was I blowing this way out of proportion? As I looked at the other patron’s faces, there in their eyes was my answer. So I walked towards him and he gave me his arm, like a gentleman from another place and time. He was being so careful, not wanting to hurt or frighten me in anyway. With that we walked to the elevator and took it down to the third level, the level of Poetry and Dreams.

 We walked the floor in silence, arm in arm. No one seemed to notice who he was or that we were even there. I felt oddly comfortable on his arm and very nervous at the same time. Could he see how I felt or feel my shaking when we stopped? I prayed that he didn’t. In viewing such works by renowned Salvador Dali, Paul Klee, Francis Bacon, and Pablo Picasso, I felt a sudden urge to question, question everything. I could tell you the way art makes me feel. It evokes emotions, which brought us to our silent communication. When we entered the 3rd room aptly named Elements of Chance, we looked at each other and said nothing, yet from looking into his eyes, I knew he felt the way that I did. Nothing was left to chance, everything happens for a reason. During the rest of this surrealists dream we would look at one another ever so often, almost as if to check that the other one was seeing what you were seeing and feeling the same set emotions. In our silence I knew we did.

 I continued to follow him out of the rooms and into the elevator, never questioning him or his direction. Not until I realized that we were leaving the museum. “Wait! Where are we going? I haven’t seen it all yet.” I pleaded with him as we were about to walk out the front door.

“Don’t worry I’ll bring you back again. Let’s not spend the day in doors. It’s too beautiful to waste inside.” He tried to assure me and he was doing a good job of it too.

“I wanted to buy some books and” but before I could finish he interrupted me.

“I will buy them and send them to you.” He looked at me and I tried to look upset. I was upset, and I found with him there I couldn’t stay that way at him. “I promise, I will come back and buy them for you.” We continued arm and arm as we left the museum. We walked toward the street and I wondered where we were going that was so important we had to leave. “Is there somewhere you need to go?” He asked me before he got a cab.

“Yes, I need to go somewhere. I have something that needs to be taken care of.” A cab pulled over and we when got in the backseat, he looked at me and smiled. I gazed at him defiantly and told the driver the address.

 tags @melodramaticfanatic

@michelehansel I know you’ve read this before so just bear with me while I repost the beginning and get to part two.