#i mostly just did that because i don't want to make you feel like you have to but it'd definitely be welcomed and i'd love to get the-

[zarla-s]

i need to know more about your feelings of tf2 comic 7 because youre the heavymedic expert

I liked it! Satisfying happy conclusion for (almost) everyone, especially since I was a little worried they were going to kill everyone off, haha. Not a lot of Heavymedic stuff in there but I wasn't expecting much, and really it was about the Administrator and her story, so it makes sense the mercs wouldn't really take top billing for it.

There were a few cute things though! I know "standing next to each other" is like the most graspingest of straws but you know what, it made me smile each time so I don't care.

The big thing of course being Heavy grabbing his boob, which to me reads like him stopping Medic from trying to help the Admin, which I think is sweet in his own way. Medic has his healing instincts!

Medic also puts his hand on his back as they walk away, which I also think is sweet. It looks like he's comforting him.

I really loved the ending sequence where everyone gets together for that dinner party. It's just such a great bookend to how the comics started - initially when their team disbanded, everyone split off and did their own thing. Some of them didn't even keep track of where the others were! A few kept in contact, but mostly all of them just left the others and they didn't seem particularly concerned or interested in each other.

Compare that to them at the end of the comic! Seven years after everything that happened, they're all meeting up together for dinner! Voluntarily! They're introducing their families to each other! They don't have any contracts or jobs forcing them to spend time together. They WANT to have dinner together. SPY TAKES OFF HIS MASK AND IS FINE WITH IT! I just love that so much. They care about and trust each other after everything that's happened, all the years that have gone by. Team as family was CANON AFTER ALL

I think this whole sequence also sheds a nice light on Medic! Medic's been perceived as probably the most uncaring of the group, given that he did sign up with another team for the money and said he wouldn't mind fighting them again (although not too soon after that he ended up saving all their lives against direct orders). A lot of people interpreted that as him not really caring about the others or anything at all, but that's not the case!

Medic kept and raised his baboon baby! He didn't abandon it or use it for parts or anything, he kept and raised it for seven years! Responsibility!

Not only that, Medic hasn't abandoned his friends, signed up with a new team, forgotten them or tossed them aside. He's with them at the dinner! He comes with his baboon baby! He wants to be with them too! He cares about them, genuinely. And of course, the final shot is with him by Heavy's side, both of them just so happy to be there with everyone else.

Love that Medic's smile still looks unhinged too lol. Would I have loved Heavy holding onto Medic's waist? The two of them wearing matching rings? Of course! But them so close to each other and an obvious irrefutable confirmation that Medic loves and cares about his team and wants to be with them is really lovely. Makes me feel fuzzy, haha.

There's speculation too that Medic came with Heavy's family as that person in the back there but who can say for sure. |D

[noisyghost]

(I started sketching this design nearly immediately after season 2 ended but just now had some time to clean it up so. Excuse me rambling out loud here)

TLDR; I actually really liked the initial design + direction for Warwick-Vander (I <3 human faced werewolves)! But the show design kinda felt like a transitory state between Vander and Warwick to me, so I wanted to try my hand at blending his Arcane design with his in game design. Like a "what would he look like if the transformation kept going" kinda thing. There's a few things I'm not fully settled on, but Im mostly satisfied :)

(rambling under the readmore, its 3 am as i type this lol)

When season 2 first started, I sort of had it in my head that the narrative would have Vander "die" for Warwick to finish the transformation into his final form, forcing Vi and Jinx to finally say goodbye together. Well! That didn't happen lol. I mean. Vander did "die", but whatever was left behind isn't really Warwick. I'm not quite sure what they were going for, either with him or with how Jinx "dies", its all just a little messy when i feel like there was a more obvious narrative conclusion.

Visually i think the final design in the show is cool removed from context, but it doesn't really make sense to me in regards to the story. Like. Warwicks whole thing is that he curbs his violent impulses by killing "bad guys" in the undercity. League lore is a hot fucking mess and I don't even go there so I get that they (the writers) were playing fast and loose but I can see why so many Warwick fans were less than pleased with where the show leaves him, because it doesn't really feel like the same character outside of his initial experimentation.

In my own idea palace, Jinx fakes her death and leaves Warwick to be Zaun's new mascot. Having this literal monster that eats bad guys and saves innocent people in the process become a new symbol for Zaun feels like a no brainer to me. Imagine the iconography they'd make for this thing! And it brings Vanders whole schtick back around; he still "dies" but the Literal Memory of him lives on in Zaun, still protecting the people he cared about most. You get the bittersweet ending of Vi and Jinx having to move on because hes not really their dad anymore, but their memory is what keeps Warwick "human", still with Zaun even if Vi is doing Piltover shit and Jinx is off exploring the world.

Idk! I know the implication that Jinx faked her death is there, but whatever happens to Warwick seems to be like they didnt really have the time to fully explore the ideas they were going for, so a couple characters just got kinda left floating at the end there. If Ekko and Jinx werent going to run away together, I wanted to see Ekko befriending Warwick so they could fight to make Zaun a better place.

I have more coherent ideas than this but it's 3 am when im typing this so sorry if im not eloquent enough to properly explain what im thinking. Ekko and his weird dog that used to be his uncle. Imagine.

[patricia-taxxon]

I want to set the record straight regarding a certain OST for a short film that should be coming out later this year, because one of its directors is making false and hurtful claims about me and my business ethic. After he made a prominent appearance on a drama stream about me & wrote a section of my callout doc, I told him that I wasn't interested in dragging him publicly, but that has felt more impossible as time goes on and I realize the extent of his misrepresentation. I had a vision of this film being able to release quietly in spite of everything, but I don't think that can happen, and I fully expect him to try and hurt my chances at further work.

In 2023, between techdogs 4 and 5, I worked on music for a then good friend's student film. It is by far the most technically difficult job I've ever had, and I did it for free. Now, before you get mad, this is partially (mostly) my fault. I never negotiated a price beforehand, and when I found out partway through that I was working for free, I let it slide for fear of being disruptive. If I was asked to quote a price today, it would have been approximately 900 USD. The work was a hellish and grueling experience, technical in ways I'd never been prepared for, and I sorely regret not putting my foot down, because I was hollowed out by the end of it.

A big portion of his callout against me is concerned with, bafflingly, my decision not to contribute my own money to the film, which at that point would have been a negative paycheck. I didn't pay the thirty dollars that I would've had to pitch in for the film to be screened, and I considered that a fine payment for the nine hundred dollars of work they got from me. He goes on to write that I'm rich anyways, I pay hundreds of dollars on album art (business expenses that I know I'll make back when the music is released) and "furry porn," because apparently if I am occasionally willing to drop a pretty penny on a pleasure purchase then I should simply be compelled to pay them randomly for things I hold no stake in and that I signed no contract for. He also mentions that I paid them later for the DCP file at another screening, of course by that point I had gotten the vibe that they were wanting for me to drop money on their project, so I did, giving the post-hoc justification that "i guess in this case I also care about the film sounding good." He writes "well I guess that was something she deemed worthy" without realizing the implication would then be that he did not see my own work as worthy.

Let me make this clear, this is like if a voice actor worked on my video game for free as a favor with no expectations of royalties, and then I asked them to help me pay to get the game on steam. This is presented along reheated second, third, fourthhand accounts of sexual misconduct.

And before we move on, to the claim that one album artist had to wait for years before receiving payment, this is true. I did forget to pay one artist, and only found out after their assistant contacted me years later, where I then paid six times the asking price as a late fee. I was commissioning over ten album arts every year, and as of now, this is the only time I have made this mistake.

It is impossible for me to refute his claims about the personal time we spent together in Omaha, as it would just be my word against his. I will just say that he should know the omitted reasons that I have grown to feel I was disposed, discarded, and taken for granted by him, and how he has nothing to do with why I hold those memories at that film festival so highly. He also does the classic thing where he positions allowing me to pick the movie in the evening as this favor he did, making me unknowingly rack up debt for a bargain I never consented to.

During all this, he has expressed an existential fear of being harassed for going public about me, and for this reason I want to say that I still hope that this film can be released without a fuss, but his continued participation in a harassment campaign against me has done far more to tarnish his reputation than I ever could. If you really cared about your image, pressure Crim to re-record that drama stream without your embarrassing petty grievances in it & delete your testimony from the callout doc. Thanks.

[tactical-jellyfish]

The Mistakes That Have Been Made

Part Three <3 The fluff before the storm

Warnings!: Angst, angst, and more angst. Reader will be MAD sad for most of this. Poorly-practiced, unhealthy polyamory. Reader will experience a LOT of gender and body dysphoria over the course of this (though I will do my best to keep it gender-neutral throughout, bear with me), but there WILL be comfort over that.

Training with Gary was a good idea, no matter how much you hate to admit it.

He forced you to take it easy, as much as you griped at him for it. You could do more. You knew you could do more. But the both of you knew damn well that you shouldn't be doing any more, either.

It was a simple hour. He did the exercises with you, mostly simple stretches and the like.

As infuriating as it was, you felt much calmer after. Maybe that was because you'd managed to avoid your team up until now. You hadn't had to look at any of them today.

That was oddly relieving, but the way he was looking at you wasn't. Gary was scanning you like he was trying to figure something out, between friendly jokes and quiet banter. It wigged you out a little, but when you tried to go to the showers, as usual, he stopped you with a hand on your hoodie-clad shoulder.

"You know you're not supposed to wet the dressings, right?"

His soft voice is right next to your ear, the muffled heat of his breath thankfully not making you shiver as it usually would, thanks to the mask.

"But I've still gotta shower, y-"

Gary chuckles gently, and pulls you (gently, he gives you more than enough leeway to wriggle free if you really want to) into the smallest bathroom attached to the gym.

You've never been in here before, but you don't stop him when he turns you around, and starts to sign again.

You didn't read the articles I sent, did you?

You sigh, and give him a slightly sheepish glance as you sign back (much more clumsily, to be sure, and slower.

Doing other things, bug.

Do you know the sign for "Roach"? No. It doesn't stop you from hearing Gary's little gasp, and watching the way his cheeks round with a bright smile as he slips his mask down, revealing maybe the brightest grin you've ever seen.

Before you're fully aware of it, you've been engulfed in a firm hug, and you're being squeezed tightly by the gentle man before you, an ungloved hand splayed over the small of your back.

"I was right about you."

His voice is still raspy, almost whispered, and you frown just a little at the way he's straining to talk, even if you want to smile at the words.

"You've done a lot for me, luv, I practically owed it to you. Don't strain yourself."

The silent bounces of laughter rock your chest as Gary gently rests his face on your shoulder for just a moment, seemingly fond of the way this feels.

What makes you pull back is the way you feel a warm, scared hand under your hoodie (and over your undershirt, thank goodness) right after leather hits the floor.

Gary seems to sense your unease, and gives you a reassuring smile.

You can't wet your dressings, so I brought wet wipes for you. Figured you could use the help.

He uses more complete sign than before, only bothering to finger-spell the harder words to gleam in the sentence. You pick it up well, but still squirm a little when you see yourself in the mirror.

Gary knows it, because you pointedly look away from the wall behind him. The confirmation makes his smile fade a little, but his hope skyrocket.

You're more like him than you think. Even if you don't know it yet.

He clicks his tongue, and turns so you're facing the wall, pulling the small pack of sanitary wipes from his bag and handing them to you.

"Do you want me to help?"

You can't reach every part of your body just yet, but Gary still offers to let you do it yourself. He lets you choose. It makes you a little weak.

When you nod, he gets to work.

It's maybe the best thing you've ever felt. His hands are cloaked by the wipes, smoothing over your skin, wicking away the thin layer of sweat that clings to it. Soothing you in a way no one has every bothered to before.

Your phone pings somewhere in your gym bag. You ignore it, opting to lean into a gentle swipe over the broadest part of your back.

"You're good to me, Gary."

He nods. It makes you sigh.

"I really want to be with you more."

He nods again. This time, he gently hooks his chin over your shoulder, pulling your hoodie up just enough to clean around the small bandages you changed just this morning. When you tense, he scoots his head a little closer to your neck, to comfort you. It works well.

It's a hard balance to strike, but he's pulling it off. You feel seen, but somehow just as much you feel like he's not really looking. It takes that ugly, twisting feeling away, and puts it to bed.

Your body may be wrong, but right now, it doesn't matter. Gary doesn't care. That makes you feel... good. Maybe not good. It makes you feel understood, for the first time.

"Why are you so good at this?"

You feel him smile, and gently take hold of your hand, before leading you to feel a scar that stretches beneath his chest.

Huh.

Oh. Oh, shit.

"Gary-"

He interrupts you when he releases your hand, and signs once more.

I'm like you.

"I... Fuck, luv, I'm not- I mean, I- I-"

Let me help you. I want to.

You're in deeeeeeep shit.

"Alright. Yeah, as long as you stay."

[bonedo-enthusiast]

birthday thoughts 𐂐◯𓇋

desc: a drabble about how i think the members would treat you on your birthday! includes two date ideas and a gift idea per member.

warnings: just pure fluff, legal line!bnd x gn!reader, headcannons, woonhak is not here because he's three technically almost four years younger than me & i don't feel comfortable writing a relationship x reader with him!

wc: 853

sungho 

i’m thinking a fancy dinner date for sungho’s choice of a birthday date!

i can see him buying you a specific dress that either you’ve had your eye on or that he thinks would look so lovely on you.

either that or something like a new purse, wallet, or jewelry. 

if you wore the gift on the date? big heart eyes.

oh, and he would go all out. you want an appetizer? hell yeah. two? anything for his partner.

and you can bet when he called to make the reservation, he told the staff it was your birthday.

if they end up singing to you for your birthday, he’d join in laughing and smiling at you.

another date idea i could see him coming up with would be a spa day!

he wants you to be fully relaxed and enjoy your special day, so i could see him booking an appointment in a heartbeat. 

he’d subtly ask questions throughout the previous couple of weeks to gauge where your most sore, tense places are. 

riwoo 

i think riwoo would take you on a date to the park!

he’d bring one of those cute little picnic baskets and a blanket along with all of your favorite snacks.

i can see him scoping out an area beforehand, wanting to find the optimal spot for cloud gazing or any other similar activities. 

i could also see him suggesting a gaming day for the two of you.

he can get pretty competitive, though, so he has to remind himself that it’s your birthday. 

he would probably let you win a couple of times (or that’s what he’d say anyway). 

as for a gift, i think he’d make you a cute beaded necklace or bracelet–kinda like what he did for himself and daebak. 

he’d probably make you both matching pairs, as a matter of fact! :) 

jaehyun 

i can see jaehyun choosing to take you to an amusement park!

i think he would struggle to come up with a date idea, since he usually leaves that up to you.

but he loves to have fun, you love to have fun, so that’s the first thing he thinks of.

he’d slightly regret it though when you begged him to get on a certain roller coaster with you.

he’d regret it a bit more when you expressed wanting the photo they took of you two while on it–jaehyun in the photo looking like he was watching a horror movie with the way his eyes were wide. 

on the other hand, jaehyun is a pretty romantic guy so i could see him decorating your shared place and buying a projector to have a cute movie night together. 

would probably definitely choose a romance movie, maybe even a k-drama. 

for the gift, i think again that jaehyun would struggle a bit to decide what to get you, but one thing he gives you is a beautiful bouquet for flowers.

he’d probably say something cheesy along with it, like how you’re a more beautiful flower than the entirety of the bouquet. 

taesan 

i think taesan wouldn’t plan out a birthday date on his own, instead asking you where you want to go.

however, if you can’t decide, i think he’d choose a place like an arcade!

he’d definitely be stuck at one of those claw machines trying to win you the giant stuffed teddy because you’re his partner and you have to have it, especially since it’s your birthday.

regardless of where you go, i can see him ending out the night by surprising you with a song he wrote for you!

i also could see him suggesting fun activities for the two of you to do if you’d rather stay in, mostly arts-related.

maybe you two trying to paint each other’s portraits!

he would tease your painting but immediately put it on top of the dresser or on the wall where he can see it every day. 

taesan likes making and customizing things, so he would definitely give you something like that–maybe a pair of shoes that he hand painted!

leehan 

i could definitely see him taking you on an aquarium date for your birthday!

it’s a bit self-indulgent on his part, sure, but he finds something so intimate and fascinating being at an aquarium, with the closeness of the animals and the different lighting involved. 

would definitely buy you whatever you wanted from the gift shop, even if it was like a forty dollar stingray plush. 

for another date idea, i could see leehan planning something a bit more out of the box.

so maybe he plans a scavenger hunt, with the prize ending up being something simple like a kiss, or even your birthday gift.

he would have some hints pre-chosen, knowing that you might get stuck since the clues are very obscure and weird. (it’s leehan, after all.)

as for a gift, i could see him buying you something that relates to one of your hobbies, or maybe a hobby you have expressed wanting to try!

he would love to watch as you use your gift, even taking the time to learn more about it.

a/n: by the time this posts, it will be the day after my birthday and i will be 22!! so i figured i'd write something birthday-related to commemorate another year of being alive. 🥳 also it's been a while since i've written fluff so i wanted to do that finally. :p

[peachhcs]

requesting some will samy angst where maybe one of them picks a fight on the phone or on face time while they’re doing long distance and then by the end of the call they realize that they were only doing that because they missed the other?

UGH yes in the end they'd be so 🥺 when they realize they really just miss one another. angst to fluff my fav

au masterlist

"you barely texted me all day," samy immediately said when she finally answered her boyfriend's call at almost 10pm.

"i'm sorry..things were crazy today. i got caught up," will mumbled but for some reason his apology wasn't sitting right in samy's head.

"you could've at least told me you were gonna be busy," she continued with the semi-angry tone. the blonde frowned to himself, struggling to make up for hardly answering her all day.

"i should've. 'm sorry," will really did have a long day. there was media every hour that they weren't practicing and press people wanted to kow..he hardly had time to even sit down and think before someone new came in wanting and interview and/or photos for their blogs.

it was the worser side of the job the blonde didn't really enjoy. he was there to play hockey, not sit in front of ten different cameras answering nonstop questions that were way too personal for his liking.

"what's even been up with you lately? you've felt so..i dunno..distant.." samy wasn't afraid to call it what it was anymore. after things escalated between them last summer, she knew better than to let things slide.

however, will did not take it that way, "what's that supposed to mean?"

"i get you're busy, i am too, but it feels like i've barely heard from you all week. we hardly text. we hardly talk," samy's voice faded like she hesitated saying the last part.

the hockey player's expression hardened even though she couldn't see it, "oh so now you're trying to accuse me of something?"

"no, i was never accusing you of something," the younger hughes immediately shot back.

"then what are you trying to say?"

"what are you trying to say? is there something i should be accusing you of?" now both of their tones turned sour. after a long four months of will proving to samy that he deserved her full trust, she put it all into him. she trusted him completely, but right now it wasn't really feeling that way.

"what the fuck? no? what the fuck would i even be doing that would put me in that position?" now will was just mad because it mostly hurt him how fast samy was to assume that he would turn around and hurt her like that again.

"i don't know, you tell me, will. you're the one that hasn't even been answering my texts," the girl shot back again.

"so you're just gonna assume that i did something then? not that i could just be super busy and i've had a really long day talking to a million different people with a camera in my face and i just couldn't have the time to text you?"

a deafening silence fell between them. will heard a sigh escape samy's lips and he quickly realized how harsh what he just said sounded. the guilt of being rude quickly washed over the hockey player. he knew samy's trust really could break at any moment with him and none of what he just said helped any of that.

"okay, sorry. i..i don't know why i said that. you're right. you're busy," when samy spoke again her voice was small and wavering like she was going to cry.

will instantly felt bad, "wait, fuck, no, no. i'm sorry. i shouldn't have snapped like that. i shouldn't have..i'm sorry."

god, he was so stupid sometimes.

"i'm sorry. i have been busy, but i should have texted you and told you. i'm sorry i didn't. it's just been a crazy long day and i haven't like had a second to breathe with every reporter wanted to shove a camera and mic in my face. i think i answered like a hundred questions about myself and personal life today," will admitted in a softer tone when samy didn't respond right away.

"i didn't mean to snap either. i'm sorry. i guess we both had long days. i just..i really like talking to you and i got worried when i barely heard from you all day," samy nervously thumbed her little braid.

"i really like talking to you too. talking to you is the highlight of my day and i do always look forward to it. i didn't mean to worry you. i'm sorry again. if it's any consolation, i did talk about you quite a lot though," when he heard the girl giggle, he knew it was okay again.

"really?"

"god, they love asking about you, but i love talking about you so it works out. it was just little things about our relationship. i bragged about you when i could," will could picture samy blushing hearing him say that and he was right. her cheeks were bright red.

"i'm flattered. sounds intense," she hummed.

"it was, but luckily we're done with it for now. i promise that i will try to text you more and especially let you know when i'll be more busy. god, i really miss you," the hockey player admitted. there were so many days he wished samy was a half an hour drive away still so he could just lay in her arms when his day was hard.

today especially he missed her like crazy. it was probably why he seemed to talk about her in almost every interview even when he wasn't asked first because she was the only thing on his mind.

"i really miss you, too. feels like it's been forever since i saw you," the brunette sighed.

"i know. i have no idea when i'm free again," probably not until summer will guessed and that was still so long from now.

"yeah, me neither." samy and hannah were going abroad for spring break—a trip they'd been planning since literally last year after hannah saying she really wanted to go to italy, so samy didn't know when the next time she could fly to the west coast would be.

"maybe i can escape to italty with you and hannah," will joked a little.

"you should. the almafi coast is calling our name."

one day will would get there with samy and maybe even then they'd be more than just boyfriend and girlfriend. something more like husband and wife sounded right.

"i love you. i miss you. i'm sorry again," will finally said with a small smile.

"i love you a lot. i'm glad we talked. it was real good hearing from you," samy smiled too.

"i promise i'll text. if i don't just like spam me or something," the girl giggled at his words.

"i love, love, love you," they exchanged their goofy, loving goodbye and the little fight they had was far from their minds.

[daylighted]

Hii! I really love your stanford!dean drabbles, soooo may I request a stanford dean fic with a shy!reader?? (kinda like nerd x jock dynamic) in which dean is trying to pursue reader but reader isn't sure if he really means it bc of his personality (mostly bc he is really flirty) and all with a bit of angst but also a lot fluff ofc (sorry if it's a bit cliche I'm a whore for this trope😭😭😭)

Btw hbd!!!!💝💝💝

thank u for the happy bday omfg 😭 it's still two months away unfortunately. LMAOFIDKDJ BUT I AM PUTTING THIS IN MY BACK POCKET TO REMEMBER THAT DAY !!!

anyways ahem let me lock in.

it's not that dean didn't have game, it seemed to be that dean had too much game. you didn't like when he leaned against the doorframe you were in, posing in that way that girls liked; ankles crossed, arms crossed, head tilted down to look at you. you didn't like the arm stretch pose over the top of the doorframe either. if he wasn't so attuned to how your face lit up in a blush when he was around, he would have been convinced that you just hated doors or something.

but no, you could talk to your friends just fine, it was just─ him. which is a hard pill to swallow in of itself, but some truths just couldn't be changed.

he'd make effort too, you know. really, desperately, lay it on thick to play the nice guy, the boy next door you seemed to want. it was hard, since that was the role he'd worked so damn hard to break out of, but he'd do it. there was something about the chase that had him coming back to you, even though the game wasn't nearly as fun for you.

dean didn't think, really, was the main point. didn't think about how intense this must have been for you, didn't think about the possibility of you just ─ not liking him back? didn't think at all.

he's outside your dorm to walk you to class. a habit for him, and an irritation for you. you never could get yourself to argue with him about it, though, the words always lodged in your throat. how did you, politely, tell a football guy to get fucked? he'd take it some other way. you knew football guys, and specifically, knew this one.

dean snatches your backpack from your arms before you can shrug it on, carrying it in front of him like a little purse. maybe, you kept him around for that, too. schoolbooks were heavy, okay?

but it's the little twitch in his mouth that seems to break you. "can you just... find someone else already?" you've come to know that smile as his only preliminary warning before he says something that burns your cheeks red and almost makes you believe that this pursuit is genuine, and not just to get in your pants.

dangerous smile. those dimples could just about make anyone's panties drop ─ you'd know, you were a self proclaimed part of that statistic.

dean actually looks taken aback, slowing his steps, and you'd almost feel relieved if you didn't feel so sick that you'd hurt his feelings. and, he had your backpack, so now it was awkward. now you'd have to snatch it back before you could scramble away.

"find someone else?"

in his head, he was breaking down your walls. slowly, but surely. and here was this painstaking reminder that every wall he broke was just replaced by another.

you stare at him for a long few seconds, the halls of your building thankfully empty, except for the two of you and every question hanging in the balance.

"i don't want someone else, sweet girl," he says, his face contorted in a wince like he actually was hurt by the suggestion at all. you recoil, too, but you don't back down. quiet as hell but a viper when you had to be. backed into this conversational corner, you had to be. "hell, you think i've been chasin' you around this whole damn campus because i'm waitin' to get bored of it and start somewhere else?"

he acts like it's an unreasonable suggestion. boys like him didn't go for the girls in the bleachers. boys like him liked short skirts and pom poms. at least, that's what the movies taught you. what was he going to do next, take off your glasses and tell you that you really were beautiful, who would have guessed?

when you don't answer, dean seems to shrink back a little. he shrugs his shoulders to adjust his backpack on his back, and yours that, at some point in these ticking minutes, he had slipped on his front. "believe me, honey, this is torturous for me, too."

"torturous?" you shake your head, internally wincing at how, of all of what he said, that was the thing you latched onto. "so go find─"

"someone else. i heard you the first time." dean shakes his head, clicking his tongue after another strenuous break of silence. "it's torturous," he says slower now, like you're the one who needs to be talked in gentle words to, not him, who's seen more concussions than he's seen his family, "because you are a breath away, and yet you are so damned determined to keep that breath between us. because you seem so weary, and strung up, like at any moment, i'm gonna pull the rug away and tell you that this was some joke, and you're gonna fall on your ass and feel awful."

well. it's not like he was wrong. but now the embarrassment is worn so prominently in the pink of your face, and those awful feelings he brought up are right there, if only because you'd been so convinced that he was a terrible guy without having any sort of evidence to back it up.

dean takes a step forward, not like approaching a wounded animal but rather like he's approaching a feral beast determined to snap at his fingers. "all i want," he breathes, shaking his head, palms up in some miniscule effort of surrender, "is to buy you a coffee."

"coffee," you echo back to him. you can't help it. you glance at his double backpack situation and you have to press your mouth together to keep from laughing. maybe dean wasn't lying about this, or everything else. would someone really willingly make themselves look so silly just to keep up a ruse?

dean nods. "coffee," he says, and he notices, of course he notices, that dazzling smile of yours. he's a strong man, but he can be made into something so weak with nothing but a pair of lips and glimmering eyes. "coffee yes?"

"you have class in ten minutes."

a shrug. two backpacks lift and fall. "conveniently, i've forgotten for the next forty five minutes about that class. whoops."

you have to look away. his eyes are so earnest and he is so surprisingly silly when he's not spouting cheesy pickup lines and doing stupid poses in doorframes that you almost cannot handle to face the full onslaught of his expression. again, he asks, "coffee yes?"

you huff out a laugh. what did you have to lose, really? you'd been planning to drown in classwork for a while at the library. coffee would definitely be needed to survive that.

with an exaggerated sigh, you manage to stutter out a, "coffee yes," if only so you could see that smile on his mouth again. you were weak, too, in that regard.

and so you got coffee with the football boy, and again the next day, and suddenly it wasn't such a scary thought to hold the football boy's hand.

[strwbrychffoncke]

"make it last forever ,never let it go,, 1.6k words ⸺ event masterlist synopsis: xavier could spend eternity in these little nights spent with you contains: fluff! lnds xavier x mc!reader (no prns used) ,night time date ,snack run ,xavier knows a place ,silly conversation ,lots of bantering ,kissing ,cuddling ,u steal from xav ,he lays on you ,mention to his lore if u squint ,i think thats it tldr cute late night date w xavi note: (mostly edited!) finally some calm fluff after the smut fest

-

late night snack runs weren't unusual for you anymore.

after the countless times of being invited out by xavier, the man always knowing when you were awake somehow (or maybe it was just that much of a bad habit at this point?) and you could never pass up the opportunity, no matter how many sites claimed eating late was bad for you.

tonight was a little different, however. in the early evening, xavier invited you to the arcade, wanting to try out a two-player game with you, and you quickly agreed, having nothing else planned for the evening.

after spending more time than you thought you would at the arcade, you were the one who suggested going for a snack run (mostly to extend the time you had with the hunter) and while momentarily taken aback, he quickly nodded, commenting about how he did "happen to be running low on a few of his favorites thanks to a certain someone."

(at the not-so-subtle jab, you only laughed, nudging him with your arm as you claimed it couldn't have been you, and that its thanks to you both having similar tastes).

after raiding the convenience store, you both shared the sentiment of not wishing to simply return home. thats when xavier suggested taking you to a "secret hangout spot" of his that happened to be nearby with a lovely view of watching the stars.

you playfully narrowed your eyes, questioning him about his secret spot of his. he'd only said "wait till we get there," do your curious inquiries, intertwining his free hand with yours as he led you there.

the night was calm, soft breeze flowing past you both moving in sync, the walk shrouded in comfortable silence as your star and the light from the moon guided you both to a clear field, flowers blooming sporadically around the area. he led you to the center before letting you sit first, taking a seat after.

as you sifted through your bags for your snacks, conversation began to flow again.

"i still can't believe you beat me earlier," you pout, pulling out a bag of chips from your bag.

"after you were so confident, i kind of felt bad."

"you're just way too good at video games!"

"but you're good at card games. i almost never win kitty cards against you."

a little grin and giggle.

"what can i say? the kitties just love me~"

"or maybe its because a certain hunter likes to.. mess around with my kitties when im caught off guard," he shoots a pointed, teasing look your way.

you gasp dramatically, hand coming up to cover your heart.

"its called a strategy, my dear xavier. and besides, what else am i supposed to do when you doze off playing cards?"

you quickly boop his nose, retracting your hand to open the chip bag.

"though if you're bored, i could always ask someone else to—"

"no!"

your head snaps up from the bag in your hands to your lover. a sheepish expression quickly takes over his features as he looks down, popping the tab of his soda to open it.

"i mean... ill play with you whenever, even when im tired. so, don't ask anyone else."

even though his gaze is still averted, you smile fondly at him.

"sure, i only have one partner, right?"

he peeks up at you, a small satisfied grin crawling up his lips as he nods at your words.

"right. i'm your one and only partner. you can count on me for anything."

a small silence envelops the space as you pop a few chips into your mouth, feeling the comfortable breeze surrounding you both. there's a rustling from xavier's bag as he pulls out his own snack before speaking up again.

"but what you said before.. its not difficult; to love you, i mean."

his fond gaze is on you as he pops his own piece of his snack into his mouth. you tilt your head at him, smiling.

"i feel the same about you, but it seems the kitties feel differently."

you empty your hands, quickly cleaning your hands with a napkin before suddenly cupping his face in your hands, rubbing his cheeks in circles. caught off guard, his eyes are wide as they stare back into yours.

"but why? isnt this face to die for? and you were a kitty for awhile, too!"

a blush colors his cheeks as he huffs out a breath through his nose. he averts his gaze from yours, his hands wrapping around your wrists to stop your movements, but he lets your touch linger.

your eyes drift to the top of his head.

"i really do miss your kitty ears sometimes," you sigh, hands rubbing through his soft tresses.

a small giggle escapes him as his eyes slowly drift back to your pleased expression as you play with his locks.

"will you take responsibility for messing up my hair?"

"no matter how much i mess with it, it still looks fine. xavier, spill your secrets!"

you squish one cheek between your thumb and index finger while your other hand continues sifting through the soft silver.

"ow.. theres no secret. i just use regular shampoo and conditioner from the local convenience store..."

"then its natural?" you lean closer, both hands holding his face again as you inspect him closely. he nods, gaze locked with yours.

"perfect skin and perfect hair... theres no way someone's this lucky. were you blessed when you were born or something?"

a hearty laugh reverberates through his chest this time, hands coming up to cover yours and nuzzling into your touch.

"even if thats true, if we're talking about 'luck...'"

his eyes peer into yours, swirling with complete and utter fondness.

"the luckiest thing thats happened to me is meeting you," he whispers.

'again,' he wants to add, but stops himself.

even without this one little word, your eyes glimmer with joy, reflecting the stars from the sky back to him, and thats enough for him.

to be with you like this, spending his time with you, being held and being able to hold you in return—

that was enough for him.

"xavier shen, you are the best thing that's happened to me: a shining star that i can call my very own."

his ears tinge a dark red, smile bright as the lights twinkling in the sky and heart full, beat quickening in his chest.

"this star has and always will be yours."

one of his hands cups your cheek as he leans forward, eyes fluttering as he tilts his head to capture your lips in a loving kiss.

you pull back for a moment to look at him once again before peppering his face with the same affections.

he giggles again but lets you do as you please, always satisfied to grant you whatever you desire.

while he's distracted, your eyes drop down to his open snack bag sitting beside him. a mischievous idea crosses your mind and before you can think twice, you decide to go for it.

you lean forward, capturing his lips in a soft kiss again. he quickly melts into it, hands holding your sides. while he's distracted, you sneak a hand into his bag and grab the first thing your hand touches— a lollipop— and pull it back, hiding it in your sleeve before breaking the kiss and pulling back.

you sit back, satisfied at getting away with stealing when xavier pulls you back towards him, causing you to fall over his lap.

"..!?"

he raises an eyebrow, shooting you a knowing look.

"it seems like someone was feeling a little naughty there," he muses, grabbing your wrists again.

you gasp, watching as he slips two fingers into your sleeve, pulling the lollipop from it.

"and whats this?"

"a lollipop?"

he shakes his head, an amused smile on his lips before being replaced by a faux serious one.

"shouldn't a hunter know better than anyone that stealing is wrong?"

"didn't you give an inspection before gathering evidence that i stole? now whos in the wrong?"

"you only need to gather evidence if you need to prove something, but i already knew it was you."

"but how??!"

he points at you using the lollipop.

"i heard the bag rustle beside me."

"you..!"

he giggles, amused at your expression.

"you thought you could get away, but you need to be stealthier."

"teach me, then!"

he hums in thought.

"alright," he nods.

"but not before a punishment is set in place. you did steal, after all."

"what kind of punishment?"

he hums again, feigning an expression of being deep in thought before he adjusts your positions to be half-laying down, slumping his weight against you.

"you get to act as my pillow."

"is this really a punishment?" you muse, hands automatically brushing through his silver tresses once again.

"maybe not, but..."

he nuzzles close to your heart, listening to the steady thump of it against his ear.

"i plan to sleep here tonight."

"what?? no way, i can't carry you back to your apartment like this!"

"hmm, you should have thought about that," he teases.

"so this is what happens when you steal..."

xavier's laugh rings through your ears, up into the open area surrounding just the two of you and up to the stars, watching the resting lovers continue in idle conversation as they gaze towards the sky.

despite everything the star on land had gone through to get here, he would do it all again in a heartbeat, unwilling to have it any other way, for here, with you, was where he belonged.

-

a/n: a late night date staring up at the stars sigh what a dream

-

[kulalanti]

Thinking about how there's a lot of amnesia stories where Optimus ends up reverting back to Orion Pax (because I think it canonically happened in TFP?) and I'm just thinking about that scenario but in a Shattered Glass scenario, mostly TF:One because it's the one continuity I know a lot about (sorry sksksk) and also in the actual canonical SG universes.

So like in a Shattered Glass TF:One AU, if it's SG!OP who forgets his memory then I feel kinda bad for SG!Megs. Cause while I do think OP would be less insane as Orion Pax, he definitely was already toxic even before he became a Prime. He def tries to get Megs into trouble and I feel he'd be slightly jealous and pissed that Megatron has a T-cog and he doesn't. He def figures out he has amnesia ngl and is probably very mad at Megatron for lying to him. If it's SG!Megs who gets amnesia well I'm pretty sure SG!OP is keeping him in Iacon and he is never ever leaving OP's sights. Doesn't help that D-16 held so much respect for the Primes so he'd probably look up to OP.

In the Shattered Glass FunPub version, it's a bit difficult to say cause canonically speaking I'm pretty sure that... before the war, Megatron and OP didn't actually know each other? Like it's never brought up that they knew each other, when Megatron was a mathematician and Optronix was a librarian. So yeah I don't think it would work here cause I'm pretty sure Optronix would straight up just kill an amnesiac Megatron. At best he'd help fix him because he'd just be offended that his greatest enemy wouldn't even die as the mech who had been opposing him for so long. Megatron though... he'd help reform Optronix, he's a nice guy in this continuity and to be fair this is the Shattered Glass continuity where OP genuinely does get a sorta redemption arc where he became Nova Prime.

In the Shattered Glass IDW version, this one is tasty because they do know each other. If it was OP who got amnesia, well... the problem is he was pretty power-hungry even when he was Orion Pax but I think Megatron could fix him (probably not but ya know) by appealing to whatever small friendship they did have. Also he has to really make sure OP doesn't find out he's already a dictator and got the power he wanted cause OP will be pissed once he realized Megatron lied to him. If it was Megatron who got amnesia though? OP is probably going to keep him by his side and would try to maybe get him to work with him?

Like assuming OP still has some affection for Megatron, he would keep him by his side. I like to think this if only because of Megatron's "you may have offered me a place at your side, but I never could have been on your side" and OP's "we are past nothing, Megatron, until I say we are." Like he'd probably be ecstatic to find a Megatron who doesn't exactly oppose him yet.

But yeah, just some amnesia thoughts for TF:Shattered Glass.

[starvingnarcissistmusic]

I've had this drafted forever and I'm not entirely sure why I didn't post it. Oh well, better late than never!

MAL DU PAYS (the song) fun facts:

(Like the original post, spoilers for Act 5 ((and also 2hats)))

- Originally, after finishing the game, I wanted to write a song about Loop. They're one of my favorite parts of the game and I really loved their character, but I ended up scrapping that idea very early on, as I couldn’t really find a personal tie to anchor the song to me. While I did want to write a song about the game, I didn’t want to write something that didn’t resonate with me and my musical “mythos” in some way. It's a fan song, but it's also a Starving Narcissist song, and I felt it was important to strike that balance. MAL DU PAYS (Monophobia) only got released because I felt that it was something that fit into the larger body of my works even without the context of the game. So in the end, I chose to write about Siffrin, as I found them a lot more personally relatable. The final version, lyrically, is almost like I’m using Siffrin as a vehicle to write about my own feelings. Some lyrics are his, some are mine, a few are both of us, it’s a weird sort of style I’ve never really written in before.

I do have some leftover lyrics from the scrapped Loop version, though!

“There’s a you you’ll never be, across the cosmic sea / Who has everything you wanted, now it’s everything you need; is it over yet?”

- I think originally the song had a lot more of an exhausted vibe, but with most of the stuff I write, the tempo usually gets faster the more I play it. At some point in the writing process the song channeled more of a manic energy than I had originally intended it to. Loud and shouty is kinda just my default lol.

(The first ever demo for the song, recorded September 15, 2024. Features some slightly altered lyrics!)

- The title was also subject to change! I think for a while I was going back and forth on just calling it Homesickness, mostly because I was a little nervous that my song’s name was technically a late game spoiler. Half the reason I wanted to even write the song was because I thought MAL DU PAYS would make a great song title though, so in the end I just sucked it up and went with my gut. The alternate title was also not set in stone, I think originally I was considering just calling it Mania or Paranoia, but I thought those would be a bit generic. Eventually, I settled on Monophobia, because I felt it was apt in describing the song as a whole. I write a lot about loneliness, and Siffrin is afraid of being alone, so it felt fitting to name the song after the fear of it. (And also, a bit more superficially, I thought Monophobia made a better song title.)

- The song is the only Starving Narcissist song on a nylon string guitar, and it's also the second song in a completely non-standard tuning (third if you count ITWYW?, but that's just a half step down from standard). MAL DU PAYS (Monophobia) in DADF#BD, with a capo on 1.

- THIS SONG HAD SO MANY REVISIONS. I don't think I've ever had this many versions to a song ever. It got so bad that I made a specific folder just to hold all the different variations I had for the song. They're not all too different from each other, and they're all built on the same take of the song, but I was playing around with mixing and structuring and vocal layering and its a whole mess. Honestly, the fact that it's a song about a timeloop makes it probably the funniest song this could have happened to.

- And that's about it! To end off this little fun fact post, here's a little something I wrote for Genius (where lyrics for this song and all my others are posted! plus annotations I write! <3) about the song. The response to MAL DU PAYS (Monophobia) has been pretty wild, and I'm glad it managed to resonate with people, even some who don't even know the game it's about.

That's all. While I guarantee this year will probably be slower for Starving Narcissist, rest assured that I am working on stuff, just very slowly. There's a very low chance I'll ever do something as flagrantly self indulgent as this song, but whatever I do end up doing, I hope you're around to see it.

In the meantime, stream the song on spotify! or buy it on bandcamp! or even just go watch the lyric video i made for it (please i spent like a week on this)!

Thanks for everything, see you later <333

Happy one year anniversary to In Stars And Time! tldr; i wrote a song about it. if you wanna skip all the gushing and just listen to it, click here. (spoilers for act 5) If not, behold this big rambly mess of a thing i wrote:

So funny story, I kind of wasn’t planning on releasing anything for the rest of the year. The album wore me out, and the only other idea I had sort of fell through, so I was content on just letting the album be the only thing of note I would make in 2024.

… and then, in September, I played a little RPG called In Stars And Time. beat the whole thing over the course of three days, then spent the next couple weeks ravenously consuming all the fan content I could get my hands on. my friends have been forced to stare at my siffrin pfp every day for two months straight at this point and frankly i think they are tired of me talking about it.

i love the art, i love the story, i love the music, i love the characters, i love the world. siffrin sort of immediately became one of my favorite protagonists like,, ever. and it definitely did not help that i am also a scrawny forgetful person who has to regularly fight off the part of my brain that convinces myself that All My Friends Secretly Hate Me.

I’ve never really been so called out by a character before. The spiraling, the deflection, and the agony of being a stranger to yourself. the yearning for something you cant even name, because how could you? you cant even find the words on your tongue. not being able to tell anyone how you feel because its just easier to live with it, easier to let it eat you from the inside out then to bother anybody else. its easier to keep the mask on, stick to your lines, let the show go on.

all that hit just a bit too close to home. so i did what I usually do When Things Hit and wrote about it.

(like i said, spoilers for Act 5; It’s pretty devoid of context but they’re spoilers nonetheless)

MAL DU PAYS (Monophobia) is a song about cyclical burnout, self-estrangement, and homesickness. It’s half about Siffrin, half about me, but mostly it’s a rumination on loneliness and the hell that is the self.

Out now wherever you listen to music.

“How can you be homesick if nowhere is home?"

[blauerhund]

Pauls contribution to the Spy Museum Berlin

See: https://rammwiki.net/wiki/Spy_Museum_Berlin_(soundtrack)

I recently visited Berlin and wanted to check out the spy museum Paul did the music for, ze Deutsches Spionagemuseum, which is located at Potsdamer Platz. It's probably the last Rammstein related spot left that I've been wanting to check out in the city and I finally came about doing so in the one day I was there. The last time they unfortunately had a fire alarm going on, so I couldn't go in, but this time I succeeded!

I really ... I can't get myself to be interested in History Museums and the like, I don't know why. Maybe it's because my dad dragged us kids through every single castle, open air farm museum and medieval market South Germany had to offer at the time, resulting in the adverse effect of me, as an adult, feeling like I need to go sit down after having taken five steps into a Natural History Museum. I guess that means I'm satiated. Sometimes I visit art exhibitions though, but even those drain me so much, I just about run through them and am in a bad mood afterward. Have you heard of Museum Fatigue, because that's a real thing! Anyhow, that's why I made it my mission to walk through the spy museum looking only for the music bits playing. I spent about 10€ at the entrance and then walked in through something resembling a personnel sluice.

At first, I thought they had removed the music as I didn't hear any sounds at all for quite some time after going in, apart from some shooting noise coming from the one corner. However, on the second floor I made out a brawarahh and pushed past info screens, a real-life Trabi and spy standees trying to find out where the sound was coming from. I wanted to try recording some of it as well.

The speakers were put up high above, and I stood there looking like a complete nut holding one arm outstretched above my head pointing my phone at the ceiling. Luckily there weren't too many people there, but what does it matter to me, I was on my mission.

Ever since I had first heard about it, I've been wondering how Paul came about doing this. I guess the most likely explanation is him having a friend involved with the spy museum, asking him if he wanted to put a small part in or something similar. I think Paul is someone who would be happy contributing to a culturally significant occasion or institution, if he sees fit. As can be seen on his Instagram, he does like to look at attractions and things alike, and I imagine him being quite enthusiastic about doing so:

https://www.instagram.com/paullanders_official/p/B1gYv3hoByc/?hl=de&img_index=1

Look at the last picture – he has a good time. I think it's often the bunch consisting of him, Olli and Schneider out and about looking at local attractions and exploring the cities they play in. Jens tagging along from time to time :^)

The Spionagemuseum has quite a few things you can get hands on with, like solving small riddles or trying out a lie detector test. Or even making your way through a laser field! I, well, I just looked at it, but I can see Paul getting in there, rolling around on the floor. It's definitely a well produced exhibition!

They also showed footage of spy movies like Jason Bourne, Mission Impossible, James Bond and so on, with music playing next to it and, you know, I'm quite confident that one wasn't done by Herr Paul Landers, but just the original score. Although there is a song in the laser room where I was sure it was a movies soundtrack as well, but on the RammWiki page there is a song called "Laser Room" so it must be from Paul! Only goes to show his versatility :) Correct me in case I'm wrong and it's a film score after all.

At first, I wanted to include my recordings in this post, then I got a bit scared of violating copyright law, so I'm not gonna share them here (unless we have a German law expert on here telling me it would be fine?), but feel free to DM me. It's mostly eerie sounds, plus that one film score-like bit.

I think I feel rebellious enough for a little snippet though, so if you want to have a taste of Pauls soundtrack composer career, have a listen:

[eddiediazismyhusband]

I agree with a lot of your rant about Eddie's move to Texas. It is refreshing to see this take. I don't think it is supposed to show Eddie as being a good father. At least I hope not. To me, it is a sign of him hitting rock bottom. Which would make sense if they are indeed paralleling S5. Because he heard Brad talk about regrets and made a knee-jerk decision that on the surface seems noble. But there is a reason why in emergencies you are supposed to put on your mask first before helping your child. He has blinders on his eyes because he again thinks he found a simple solution for very complex problems.

If Chris needed space to come to terms with big feelings, than the separation was a chance for Eddie to heal as well, and mostly to figure out who he is and what he wants outside of being a dad. But he never did. He just fell even deeper into depression and lived at the whims of his kid and his parents. And neither of them was healing.

Moving to El Paso, instead of just going there temporarily to actually talk with Chris and put down some rules about their healing, individually and together, is borderline self-harm. But I don't think he is realizing it because he is basking in the hope of seeing his kid face to face. But it will have to hit him at some point soon that by leaving, he is not only breaking his promise to Chris - that he will be able to come home at any point. He is leaving his only support system and essentially his whole life he built there behind. Of which Buck is a huge part. And when it hits him, it won't be pretty.

If the show doesn't do this justice, some writers definitely will.

Frankly, the only thing worse that Eddie moving back to El Paso being seen as good parenting, is Buck moving with Eddie being seen as romantic.

IM SO SORRY FOR LETTING THIS SIT FOR SO LONG BUT I ONLY JUST NOW HAD THE CHANCE TO SIT DOWN AND WRITE OUT MY THOUGHTS BUT I AM DOING IT NOW

(i’m gonna kinda go down the list of things you mentioned and respond to each thing just for my own sake so i don’t completely derail and go off-focus)

first of all- i half agree half disagree about this being an intentionally bad decision; like i wish i had enough trust ij the writers to think that, but looking at the mindset of a lot of the fandom right now, and how they’ve played off bad behavior/choices as being completely normal/acceptable before keeps me from completely trusting that this is supposed to intentionally be eddie making the wrong choice- i feel like it’s going to be played off as yet another example of “it’s hard, but it’s what you need to do” which is…. not true, but i digress

i think i am in the minority when i say i’m getting tired of the constant “paralleling” of previous seasons… when we keep seeing the same beats and arcs played over and over again, the show just feels stagnant and repetitive, and unfortunately since s7 started that’s all it’s been for me- like how many times does eddie have to hit rock bottom before they finally start actually moving him forward? maybe that’s this plot, maybe it’s not, but i don’t have any hope that it is since every time eddie’s hit rock bottom in the past he’s never actually grown from it.

And the whole listening to Brad thing, who he had literally met like 5 seconds before… i’m not even gonna get started on all that bc i could write an entire 10 page thesis on why i hate brad and why s8 felt like the biggest wast of time because of him.

But anyway…

i agree that 8a should have been the time to show eddie healing- yk, like they said he was going to before they completely scrapped his arc and turned it into a lackluster seven minute catholicism propaganda moment… but instead we had to focus on brad and also focus on further retconning racists (tommy into this “good boyfriend” that we still never saw any evidence of, and gerrard into just a grumpy old guy). The way they are constantly pushing eddie’s storylines to the side and scrapping/rewriting them to be boring, nonexistent, or self-destructive is just getting old, and i am tired of him being the narrative punching bag

it’s literally gotten to the point where s8 has made me really start to dislike eddie bc it’s like… that’s not the character i fell in love with, and it’s not in a “he’s acting ooc bc he’s depressed”

i’m hoping that he does suffer s little bit- both for completely disregarding his son’s feelings on it all, and disregarding the only people who ever truly supported him in his life. like i get wanting to give chris space, but it’s been 3 months- telling him it’s time to come home is not “strong-arming” him; teaching him that it’s okay to just leave when things get hard is a worse parenting tactic than eddie bringing him back to LA even if he doesn’t want to go.

and then the buck of it all- i really hope it is what gets him to actually realize how important buck is (since buck dying apparently wasn’t enough but i digress), but i somehow still seriously doubt that it will amount to anything more than the post-lawsuit “i already forgave you, but just don’t do it again 🤪” thing from s3 which is not only a disservice to the fans, but a disservice to the story and to the characters.

the fact that people expect buck to just be ready and waiting for eddie to just come back and for him to automatically forgive him tells me that a lot of people don’t actually know what it’s like to have their trust broken like that… when someone you care about is so completely unaware of your feelings onna situation after knowing you for 6 years, and that person actively chooses to ignore that there are other options other than just completely tossing the frienship aside- it cuts like a knife.

ik some people say “they can be long distance friends” but very rarely do long distance friendships last and remain as strongly connected as they are… it would be perfectly natural for eddie to move on while he’s back in texas, and if that were to happen, buck has every right to need time and space

now don’t get me wrong, i don’t want another divorce era when the time frame of buddie realistically going canon is quickly closing, but i feel like not having buck be completely hurt and unable to trust eddie is disingenuous to him as a character, and also undermines the real human emotions that go along with being left behind like that

unfortunately- i just don’t think the writers are talented enough to do something as nuanced as that which means we are left w three options:

a) it ends in buck and eddie reuniting and its angst for one day before they’re just back to being best bros like nothing ever happened which is lackluster and disappointing

b) it ends with a long drawn-out angst plot that by the end of it, tim will have changed his mind about buddie canon and it will just be a lackluster best bros thing again

or

c) it ends in automatic buddie canon but completely disregards buck’s abandonment issues, as well as the choices eddie made that explicitly hurt buck, providing the most anticlimactic moment in their relationship trajectory because it doesn’t feel at all earned

unfortunately, i feel like the first two are the most-likely routes just based on how the show has gone before

anyway, sorry for the long response but i never have anyone who ever agrees with me/wanted to have an open conversation about these kind of takes, so it’s refreshing to have someone willing to talk about them! thank you for the ask, friend <3

[royalarchivist]

This is what it feels like every time a new SMP has streamers I like

[loichte]

This was the hardest one for me. Sherlock sleeping at Liam's bed for god knows how often did things to me. It's so goddamn cheesy. Only thing missing was some background hospital drama between Dr. Sexy and some trainees. I bet Liam would appreciate if he'd ever learn about his exhausted boyfriend at his bed. But the recounting finally won. I already explained that Sherliam don't give a single fuck about everyone around. They call each other Sherly and Liam and something inside Louis prevented him from having a stroke about it.

Now for the retelling. Sherlock is narrating. We need this because he was the one awake the whole time. before they even sit down we have some first glances at domestic husbands:

"Sorry I was late, Louis. here are fruits. You can have an apple, the rest is for Liam."

You're not that deep, Mr. Holmes.

Then he starts talking. Meanwhile he's making this face:

Sherlock is someone showing visibly how he feels. There are no polite smiles (like Liam mostly uses) or some kind of mask. We have some expressions in this chapter from him when he's talking about William.

Like this one.

*coughs* Do I need to point it out?

↑

Finishing each other's sentences.

We then have the "We need curtains" conversation, the Vermissa arc and finally their wedding vows. Since Sherlock is the narrator (with William doing his part when it comes to NY Helena) I can only imagine him sitting there: "And then Liam put his hand on his chest like so and he said that he wants us tolivetogetherandthenIsaid-"

Oh and don't forget this little gem:

All the ex-soldiers mourning over Good Night and then we have Sherly, who just told everyone he married his boyfriend in the middle of nowhere:

To end this, Billy fifth wheeling:

[somnimagus]

did some vesperia chibis, i always forget how happy i get drawing these guys. i love them dearly

[id in alt text]

[vaguely-concerned]

walking through lucanis' mind prison. the tam lin of it all