#i missed u shadow anon hope ur doing well

[iliyad]

a shadow circls ovrhead, a fake god steels ur bread, watch out 4 a false freind, the halo of gold revels all in th end

never thought i'd be part of a prophecy but here i am

[ultrvmonogamy]

who is milk carton girl? and how do i become her?

sadly she is no one, but the tag relates to the fact that pictures of missing persons used to be put on the backs of milk cartons. idk when i started using it but it's just kind of an abstraction in my mind related to abduction/captivity/caretaker kink type stuff. i've tried to elaborate on it several times when asked, but unfortunately all of the old asks have been nuked along w the termed blogs they belonged to.

why would u wanna become someone if u didn't even know who they r, hmm? but srsly i'm too beat down on the romantic (or wtv) front (super appealing in itself, right?) to give u a v inspired answer at this point, but i can rattle off a few things that r important to me.

let's see: be an adult w a well-developed frontal lobe (this should be obvious but i have to say it first anyway bc if i don't then for some reason its absence is interpreted to mean i want the opposite, probably by the same sorts who call ppl antisemitic for daring to think that palestinian children on fire is an atrocity etc).

be respectful. love animals. value nature. embrace diversity. judge ppl by their merits and intent if reality finds u in a position where it makes sense for u to judge them at all. have an actual intrinsic need to address ur internal conditions. desire to forge something healthier than what u've known w all the unintegrated n jagged n broken bits of urself and to do so within a partnership built upon a foundation of honesty, loyalty, transparency, commitment, devotion n similar.

be perfectly okay w chill n boring (i'm a lot of that and will move swiftly away from overstimulation unless i have strong motivation to endure or participate in it, e.g. a concert i want to go to or an emergency like if ppl require assistance in a catastrophic event that i find myself in the middle of). on the other side of that coin, be someone who does not seek novelty in lieu of building something meaningful. be someone who does not need attention, affection, n validation from multiple external sources to the detriment of individual relationships. highly value shared solitude.

be someone who is not motivated by a desire to live a lavish lifestyle and even rather finds material excess oppressive on a personal level without even having first to consider the oppression of those suffering n dying in the shadows due to the exploitation required to make such things available to those who would indulge in them at any cost they do not personally have to pay.

be a good match for my sexual idiosyncrasies. be patient w intimacy. there's undoubtedly plenty more here n beyond, but i'm out of steam for the moment.

right now what i'd value n probably need most from someone if they're going to be a presence in my life is for them to be generally nice and to contribute to our shared reality as in a partnership. oh, and also for them to not want things from me that i cannot offer.

i'm not even rly sure if that's quite what u were asking, but it's definitely relevant.

also, n this is important here: get off anon asap if ur serious. i have come to the conclusion that the diagonal parasocial nature of one-side-anonymous discourse is such that essentially any rapport built under these conditions ends up amounting to damage that would need to be undone in order to move forward as two ppl who can see each other on the same terms.

i appreciate ur interest, n i hope ur having a nice saturday/sunday 🫶

[ahqkas]

HIHI AGAIN!! hruu? I hope you’re doing well, please take care of yourself always! I haven’t been messaging a lot lately (IM SO SORRY 😭😭), i’ve been feeling lethargic lately like. huh. !! but anw, i hope ur eating well and such!! ALSO I LOVE THE NEW THEMEE <33 IT MATCHES UR VIBE SM

im glad to have given you a fic idea HAHAH,, talking about mattheo’s bg and his arcs are such a cool topic anyways! I AGREE WITH WHAT YOU SAID !! i imagine that once his fear takes into the form of his father, he’d gulp and hesitate and all— shaking as he casts the ridikkulus spell,, he probably left right after doing so— away from people and such.

I KNOWW!! most likely I think Mattheo is trying to like make letters and place them in probably all of the mailboxes known in the UK 😭😭 he genuinely just wants to know why his parents left him— deprived him, abandoned him and shape him to something much worse?

OOH!! do share abt ur hcs and thoughts about that topic 👀 but for me, i like to think that once he looks in the mirror, he’d be surrounded by his friends (his found family), and the dark mark gone. tricky questionn, but im also thinking abt it!!

i missed u too 🥹 I haven’t had a lot of free time lately!! but i’ll try to interact more <33 ALSO!! ur flight is going near! good luck and stay safe, you’ll do great! ^^ TAKE CARE OF URSELF ALWAYS!! - c: anon

HII ML , i’m doing good wbu?? i hope you’re taking care of yourself ☹️🫶🏻 THANK YOUU i appreciate u sm ily <33

HEAR ME OUT ; the boggart’s sudden appearance sent chills down mattheo’s spine as the sight of voldemort triggered the deep anxiety inside the boy’s system. his heart raced, and he felt a cold sweat break out on his forehead. his throat was dry all of sudden and his palms clammy. the boggart in the form of his father towered over mattheo menacingly, and his thoughts repeated the same memories again and again, almost like in a circle. the orphanage, the deprived love of his mother. oh, how he missed the feeling he’d never felt before.

the fear quickly shifted into something deeper. a spark of anger ignited within him as mattheo clenched his fists, his jaw tightened to the point he wasn’t sure if he made the sounds or if it came from the students behind him, whispering of the situation playing before them. the boggart, his own father, was silent, only judging his heir with the cold look in his eyes.

mattheo recalled the countless times he has struggled to prove himself not just to the other kids but to himself, carving his identity from the depths of his father’s shadows. he thought of his friends and the life he wanted to live, free from the suffocating grip of his past.

“riddikulus!”

NOOO STOP he’s my baby i swear ☹️☹️ our hcs are canon now❕hmm i’ll surprise u with my hcs for the mirror of erised once i post a fic about the scenario 😋😋

[x-gon-give-it]

Okay sorry anon again reading ur invisible man series AND ITS SO GOOD IM IN THE EDGE OF MY SEAT EVERY CHAPTER and I just wanted to ask do you have any tips or things u learned from writing horror? And are u usually into psychological horror? Again this is such a good story

Don’t apologize anon! Your asks are making me thrive.

I absolutely LOVE psychological horror. It’s gotta be my favorite of the horrors. I love playing with a characters mind and pushing them beyond their mental limits.

Hmmm, tips and tricks 🤔 well, here are a few things that have worked for me:

1) you’ll find the scariest things in the mundane. It’s when the reader/character notice the little things that get them on edge. Like, your character coming home and finding one of their items slightly to the left, their closet door barely ajar when they’d closed it that morning, or their window unlocked when it’s supposed to be locked. Something small, but so horribly wrong, that it gives you chills and makes your brain wonder. Get your audience just as paranoid as your character, it draws them into the story that much more.

2) giving your character small victories before taking them away. Get the audience just invested in the success/safety of the character; you give the character little wins, like they manage to outsmart the antagonist, they get away, they think they’re safe, only for their success to turn into failure and they find themselves in a worse, more helpless situation then before. There’s nothing more terrifying than trying with all your might to succeed, only to fail so drastically and completely.

3) the scariest thing is experiences/situations that can happen in real life. Sure it’s fun to think about the wild and unrealistic, but if you really want to give your audience chills, write about something that could very well happen to them. Being followed down the street late at night or being watched/stalked or kidnapped.

Or write about situations that may not happen often, but still make you anxious to think about: finding out someone has been secretly hiding/roaming in your house, the creak of floorboard behind you at night like something is following you, a dark figure slowly creeping up towards you in a shadowed stairway. Personally, something I find TERRIFYING is something trying to pass off as human, but there’s something barely wrong with it that gives it away; it’s smile is a tad too wide, it’s eyes are just a bit too big, it’s limbs just a little too long, and it’s a bit TOO eager to get you to come with them.

4) peel back the extent of the horror bit by bit. Start out small and expand on it. Don’t begin the horror with someone climbing in through the characters window; build up to it. Start with the small things, like feeling a presence watching your character when they’re alone, noticing misplaced items but brushing it off as the character being forgetful, the character getting home from a long day at work only to find their bed strangely warm. Add to the experience but by bit until even the reader is biting their nails and feeling on edge; and make the payoff worth it.

5) dangle success and hope in front of your character like a carrot.

Hmmm, that’s all I can think of right now, though I’m sure I’m missing a few. Hehe I’m happy your enjoying “Invisible Man/Hide N’ Seek.” Psychological horror really is my favorite and it makes me giddy when people enjoy it in my writing ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[awanderingmuse-fandom]

hi i just wanted to say i LOVEEEEE ur fic “christmas parties, confessions and cozy death traps”. honestly, I’ve read it too many times to count. i was also wondering if u know anything about likegallow’s fic “where the shadows meet the sea”, i miss it so much and have basically been checking it back every few months; has it been abandoned or is the author just on a long hiatus?? obviously, u do not have to answer but i’m only asking because ik that u guys correspond sometimes :)

Hi Anon! 

Omg! Thank you so much for this wonderful ask! I am so glad you enjoyed Christmas Parties, Confessions, and Cozy Death Traps. We had a lot of fun writing it!

I passed this on to likegallows and BobInTheComments and they both say thank you as well.

As far as Where the Shadows Meet the Sea goes, likegallows said that: “ I’ve actually been thinking about it a lot recently, soooooo I may dive back into that pond, if I can make my scattery brain do it’s thinnnnng.”��

It’s hard as a reader to have to wait for an update. I have several fics from as late as 2012 that I’m still hoping miiiiight update, maybe, if I just wait a liiiiittle longer. Maybe they will, maybe they wont. It sure won’t stop me from reading what is there till the end of time. And dreaming about what could come next.

From a writers perspective writing is kind of about the journey and not the destination. Especially for fanfiction, where we’re doing it for fun. It’s about getting to think about the characters and write them in funny, exciting, or terribly angsty scenarios for our own amusement.

I’ve tried writing just to put out content and found that I for one burn out super fast in that mindset. It’s a lot better for the writer if we write when we can as we can on what our brains currently want to work on. Especially if it’s fanfiction that often gets written nestled in the background of a busy life. 

I know that “it’s been on my mind” probably isn’t the answer you’re looking for, but it’s often the most true answer on a story like this. I myself have several PJO stories that are “on my mind”. And I have every intention of finishing them. But much like those stories written by other authors from 2012...who knows if they’ll ever be completed. Certainly not me!

I do hope that helps. We’re all super hyped that you’ve enjoyed Christmas Parties, Confessions and Cozy Death Traps. And who knows, your kind comment may be the happy juice one of us needs to get a few more words down on...something. 

Thanks again for the ask! I really appreciate it. 

[wandaswifeyforlifey]

Heyyy

Could u do a Nat x reader fic for day 3 Christmas fics pls? Maybe if nat loved to ice skate but the reader hated it and after she begged reader for ages they finally gave in and loved it?

Thank uuuuu and I love ur work sm!!!

A/n: Hello Anon! This request was such a good idea and thank you for sending it in, I hope you like it! Sorry it's late, I've had a busy few days but hopefully, I can make up for it by posting my overdue fics soon. I hope you're all well and I wish you all good holidays my dears!

Ship: Natasha x Reader

Warnings: Insecurity (sort of)

Summary: Natasha had been fond of skating since she left the Red Room and had been asking you to go with her since you got together. Each time you'd said no until you felt guilty for not even giving it a chance. You ask her to go to the rink in the town square and it becomes one of the best dates of your life.

Navigation / Masterlist / Taglist / 25 Days of Christmas Fics

➳ ➳ ➳ ➳ ➳ ➳ Natasha had been skating ever since she left the Red Room. It was the perfect way to put her ballet skills to good use and get some exercise while at it. Since it had officially become winter in New York, the ice rink had been set up in the centre of the city and Nat had been begging you to go with her. The thing was, you hated ice skating. You’d never had good balance or posture and your clumsiness seemed to triple while on the ice.

Natasha had been asking you for days and days to go down to the rink this year but every time your answer had stayed the same: no. Although, it was starting to make you feel a little bit guilty. She seemed pretty down every time she heard your response. She seemed to get more and more bored before she even asked, then the question stopped. You seemed to miss it somehow. And there was only one way to fix that.

“Hey…Nat?” you asked as you walked into your living room. She was curled up under a thick mustard yellow blanket watching New Girl on TV.

“Yeah, what’s up?” she replied without even taking her eyes off of the screen.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go out?” you began to lose faith in what you were about to do. What if she got angry that now you wanted to go out despite all the times she’d asked you?

“Uh, yeah sure! Where were you thinking?” her eyes remained on the TV.

“How about the ice rink?”

As she faced you her eyes lit up and the biggest grin you’d ever seen her wear appeared on her face. You smiled wide in return. That was all the answer you needed.

Walking down the streets of New York while it’s dark and cold outside but kept warm with thick coats, scarves, gloves and bobble hats made it feel like you were living in a movie. The ice rink seemed to illuminate its surroundings, casting a shadow across your girlfriends face.

“I’m so happy you asked to do this, really. And I think you’ll like it even if you’ve got it in your head that you won’t. Ready?” Natasha asked you while you finished putting your skates on.

“Mhm,” you proceeded to follow her onto the ice. You were bombarded with skilled skaters sliding past you and couples holding hands while they glided together. It was all rather intimidating but all you needed to do to feel comfort again was look into the adoring eyes of Nat.

After ice skating for about half an hour, you began to get the hang of things. In no time you were doing small spins and had no need to focus solely on your movements, you could enjoy yourself too. The music was blasting and the lights were flashing blues, purples and reds while Natasha looked angelic. She had such delicate, smooth motions that it was as if she was underwater. Stopping to admire her, she laughed in response.

“You look stupid just gawking at me,” she threw her head back and laughed. You loved it when she did that. Her hair would fall gently behind her shoulders and down her back, her teeth sparkled and her face scrunched up in delight. This night had gone much better than you’d ever expected and was most definitely one of the best dates you had ever been on.

Taglist:@alotofpockets - @catasha - @avery-romanoff - @madamevirgo - @marie45019 - @evilcr0ne

[thequibblah]

hi so i'm looking for some new music to listen to and i thought you could help because you have great taste!

if this helps, i'll tell you what i normally listen to, which is very basic & basically the same few artists over and over lol

- mostly just taylor swift, she makes up 70+% of my listening probably haha and if i had to pick a favorite genre of hers it would be the folkmore style

- some other pop, like olivia rodrigo and conan gray and lorde & some doja cat but i'm not a huge fan of doja's lyrics

- lyrics are really big for me, so is having a pretty voice and nice melodies

- i love your playlists but the old songs are usually not my style (there's been some though that i really like, ty for that !! <3)

- ceremonials is my favorite florence album

- liability is my favorite lorde song

no problem if u don't want to!

OH i basically recommend things for a living so why not music, eh?

so. what i'm getting from this is that you have three big listening buckets: soft acoustic and indie pop and just plain old pop. so i will divide my recs by those broad genres! i too prefer singable music so i will try to lay off on especially dissonant artists, or mark them as such so you can be prepared (LOL)

acoustic/folksy (i'll admit i am a big indie pop girl so this stuff will be a bit sparser)

phoebe bridgers — admittedly she is more alt-rocky, but see garden song, savior complex, moon song, graceland too, prayer in open D

waxahatchee — can't do much (GOD THIS SONG), lilacs, st. cloud

lucy dacus — also more alt-rocky, but here r some softer jams: hot & heavy, christine, green eyes, red face (a jily song)

anything by first aid kit! start with stay gold and the lion's roar

hozier — i feel like most people on the internet have listened to SOME hozier but check out wasteland, baby! (i tried to pick individual songs and ended up listing most of the album LOL)

kacey musgraves — another artist you've probably listened to already, but try golden hour

brittany howard — stay high must be the sweetest song in existence, and basically all of her album jaime

arlo parks — the whole album but especially caroline, hurt, and black dog

lake street dive — i can change, good kisser (a mary song if i've ever heard one), and i adore their hall & oates cover!

anya marina — this whole album has had me by the throat since like 2013

lucius — just the whole album wildewoman, h/t @figg-anon for putting me onto this!

idk what tf genre fiona apple is but try her out as well!

artists i listen to less of but are in this vein: the lumineers, bon iver, vance joy

u know i had to rec some old people shit (LOLLLL), so in this vein, joni mitchell, heart, judee sills, emmylou harris, joan baez, vashti bunyan

one-off songs you might like: hold you now by vampire weekend, big wheel by samia, i eat boys by chloe moriondo, strawberry blond by mitski (i worship at the altar of mitski but she might not be your speed haha), like i used to (acoustic) by sharon van etten & angel olsen, body by julia jacklin, jackie onassis by sammy rae and the friends, cowgirl bebop by HANA

indie pop BELOVED

maggie rogers — ok i cannot recommend this higher like if u like lorde and conan gray drop everything now and mainline maggie's brilliant debut album

HAIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! — they've got poppier songs like want you back and more mellow songs like summer girl, but honestly i would just recommend a deep dive because they have a pretty surprising breadth within their own alt-rock/pop niche

caroline polachek — can sometimes get way out n weird in the pop sense but so hot you're hurting my feelings is a very listenable pop standard (also it's so funny she's such a clever lyricist also this is irrelevant here but she sounds amazing live), also love look at me now and her cover of breathless

charli xcx is more experimental pop but would rec trying out warm (FT HAIM!!!), blame it on your love (FT LIZZO!!), and official

rina sawayama — technically her album is all sorts of genres but especially XS, comme des garcons, paradisin', bad friend, and tokyo love hotel

orla gartland is a lil softer and i love more like you, oh GOD, and did it to myself

king princess — especially cheap queen, 1950, holy, but basically all of cheap queen

more one-offs: kansas by ashe, comeback by CRJ (full paean in her honour to come in the pop section), i am a big fan of other people covering the bleachers (LOL) especially rollercoaster by charli xcx and i wanna get better by tinashe (full tinashe praise to come too), saturdays by twin shadow (FT HAIM!!!), the kiss of venus and 3 nights by dominic fike (also his interlude on halsey's album), aute cuture and milionària by rosalía, young lover by st. vincent (i love her but again might not be for u haha), good days by sza, backyard boy by claire rosinkranz, slow dancing by aly & aj, hot sugar by glass animals

if ur down to try out something weird witchy and cool, kate bush is like the originator of 9 billion pop and rock genres and hounds of love is a masterpiece

pure pop (we can split hairs on what makes pure pop LOL but basically everything here is based on ur enjoyment of doja)

carly rae jepsen — ok if u haven't listened to her non-radio-hits u may be like "what?? call me maybe lady???" to which i say YES, especially window, stay away, no drug like me, and too much

victoria monet — this may or may not be a selling point to you, but victoria is a frequent ariana grande collaborator and you can absolutely hear it in her music (see also: the mattress spring background noises in dive JUST like they are in positions...), and i love experience, go there with you, and we might even be falling in love, and why not throw in her ariana grande collab monopoly

magdalena bay — how to get physical which i am destined, nay, contractually bound, to put in a jily modern AU someday, killshot, stop & go

tinashe — basically ALL of her new album!!! SO good. i also love rascal (superstar), esther, and old jams like company (and i JUST found out she has a chaka khan cover!)

chloe x halle have the most angelic vocals in the world

this might sound actually demented because WHO hasn't heard love on the brain but rly... go give ANTI a re-listen...

tove lo — especially are u gonna tell her, mateo, and jacques

WAIT I FORGOT TO SAY ROBYN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERY ROBYN SONG!!!!!!!

for that throwback poppy sound u may as well go real throwback KJAHKJA and check out donna summer!

one-offs: right to it by louis the child n ashe, serial lover by kehlani (also more by her but im getting lazy now kdjfhgk), missed calls by max n hayley kiyoko, peppers and onions by tierra whack, idk who hasnt heard this song but circles by meg, todo de ti by rauw alejandro (the way i wanted this to be song of the summer so bad ;___;)

hope you enjoy and pls come back and tell me if you really liked any of these!!!! xoxo

[bunni-bino]

hi!! i love ur writing could i request for #12 with Luffy? i lov how you write luffy. u could come up with anything! like reader is insecure or etc, it’s all up to you!! no matter what i know i will love it!!

Prompt #12 With Luffy

A/N : ah, this is also a lyric prompt from Locked Away. Hope you enjoy this! :) 🥰🤍 thank you, Luffy is kind of a spontaneous character so he’s really random and unique to do, so thank you for the compliment.

Prompt #12 : “would you still love me the same?..”

Summary : When Luffy finds you alone, with your hidden scars and marks exposed. Luffy reminds you of his love for you and your self.

Note : if you ever feel insecure about anything and having some sad times, let’s talk. I understand how you feel because I feel the same often. Everything will be okay though. :)

-

“I haven’t seen [Name] in a while.”

Luffy pouts and grumbles a bit, when he didn’t receive the answer he was looking for, having asked his crew members where you’ve been.

He hadn’t seen you all day, and last night, you didn’t even come into the room to cuddle and sleep with him like usual.

He was feeling pretty grumpy today because of that.

“[Naaaameee]!” He calls, looking around and exhaled. He knows the crew didn’t forget you on the island they just got off of, so where could you be?

You didn’t attend breakfast and you didn’t immediately come out to Luffy’s side to spend the day with either. He was growing irritated.

“[Naaameeee]! I order you to come out now, as your captain!” He demands, crossing his arms childishly and looks around.

He stood in the center of the ship on the main deck, waiting patiently for your arrival into his arms.

“Luffy, did you even look for them?” Usopp sighs at Luffy’s immaturity of just sitting with his arms crossed.

“Of course I did! I looked in the kitchen, in the room and all over the ship!” Luffy argues, groaning out with impatience when you’ve yet to come into his side.

He starts to pout and wonder if you’re missing. You wouldn’t just disappear or avoid him without a good reason, right?

“Luffy, what are you going on about now?” Nami sighs, having enough of Luffy’s yells and finally emerged from her personal navigation room.

She stares pointedly at Luffy with narrowed eyes and sees him standing in the center of the deck, looking around.

“I can’t find [Name]!” Luffy whines to Nami, making her furrow her brows. “[Name]? You’ve looked everywhere?”

Luffy nods silently and sits down with his arms and legs crossed. “Are they avoiding me?” He frowns a bit.

Usually, you would be out with him and playing games with each other and just sharing laughs.

But recently, you’ve been gone and haven’t been around him as much.

Nami exhales and looks around as well. “If they’re not anywhere on the ship.. have you tried looking in the bathroom?”

Luffy hums and tilts his head confusedly. “Bathroom? Why would they be in there?” Nami shrugs. “Worth a look.”

Luffy grumbles a bit at Nami as he sighs and scratches his head. He looks around with a frown once more before standing up and dusting his clothes.

Securing his hat onto his head, he began making his way over to the bathroom, waiting to go ask you why you’re avoiding him.

What he wouldn’t expect to see, is you on the ground, in front of a mirror with your shirt raised and your back and abdomen exposed.

Much less, with you in tears. You, his special significant other, someone he would sacrifice himself for, crying with your face covered.

“[Name]..”

You gasp and snap your head up when you heard a voice. “L-Luffy!”

Instinctively, you turned away from the mirror to face Luffy, letting your back be shown in the mirror which caused Luffy’s own eyes to widen at the sight.

He was so focused on your form in the mirror and the fact that you were crying, that he completely missed the vast amount of scars and marks that ran across your skin.

“H-Hey.. are those..”

Your breath hitched as you quickly pulled down your shirt and stood up, shaking your head. “It’s nothing, Luffy. What are you doing here?”

Luffy didn’t say anything as he stares at your form, you wiping your tears away.

He takes a step towards you, you slowly taking a step back which made him frown. “.. is this where you’ve been these past couple days? Were you avoiding me?”

You smile weakly and shake your head. “Of course not, Luffy. Why would I avoid you?” You went to walk to the exit. “Come on, Luffy-“

Luffy looks down and let a shadow cast over his eyes. “.. were those scars?..” he asks quietly and slowly.

Pausing, you felt a few tears brimming your eyes at his question. ‘He saw them.. he.. saw.. them..’ you thought, biting your lip hard and clenched your fists.

“I have.. no idea what you’re talking about..”

Luffy didn’t respond as he turns to face you behind him.

“Show them to me, [Name].”

Reluctance and fear washed over you.

You felt shame, embarrassment, humiliation and more all running through out your mind and body.

“...Would you still love me the same?..”

Hearing your question, to say Luffy was shocked might’ve been an understatement, but he still didn’t respond, nor did he express his shock.

Hesitantly, you look away to hide your shame as you slowly pulled up the back of your shirt, exposing all of misery and humiliation.

Luffy stares intently at your scars, observing your back and all your marks silently.

Finally, after what felt like hours, you pull down your shirt again and gripped the hem of it tightly.

“...well?” You felt so much shame and embarrassment that you couldn’t help the small teardrops dripping down your cheeks.

Instead of answering, Luffy reacted in his own way.

He stretched out his arms and wrapped it around your torso tightly, and within seconds, had you curled into his chest, back against his.

Your eyes widen at this, startled. “L-Luff-“

“Of course I still love you the same.”

That shut you up immediately.

“..I always have, and I always will.” Luffy firmly states, hugging you tighter into his hold and sat down so you sat on his lap.

“I will never think of you different. I will never not love you. You’re mine, [Name]. I don’t care what you look like, what marks you have, or any other insecurities you’re ashamed of.” Luffy says into your ear, his voice softening at the end.

“I love you, [Name].”

Speechless. You didn’t know what to say. So many emotions were thrown at you but all you could feel was your tears streaming down your cheeks faster at his words.

You reach your hands up to cover your face as you cried silently, leaning into him. “I.. I’m so ashamed of them, Luffy..”

“.. we all have scars on our bodies, [Name]. It’s normal.” He mumbles, frowning as he leans his forehead into the back of your head, taking in the scent of your hair.

He gently grabs your hand and brings up to let your fingers touch against his scar under his eye and then turned you to face him.

He pulls your hand down to his own chest and let your fingers touch his scar on his chest from Akainu. “I have scars too, [Name].. it shows we’re strong and human.”

He then smiled softly and gently kissed your head.

“Your scars don’t define you. It doesn’t matter if you have them or not, you’re still you. That’s all that matters.”

Luffy then plasters on a small close-eyed grin.

“So don’t cry anymore, okay? Don’t be ashamed of your marks. I love them, and I love you. I don’t care what you look like so you shouldn’t either!” He chuckles a bit as he stands up with you still in his arms.

“Come on, I’m getting tired and I haven’t seen you all day. Let’s go cuddle!”

With that, he began carrying you out of the bathroom and to your room, holding you close towards him while planting kisses all over your face and shoulders that he could reach.

You feel a small shy smile forming on your own lips as you wipe your tears dry. “..sure.”

You were still feeling insecure of your scars but right now, you felt a bit confident with them, Luffy reminding you that you were still the same person, whether people knew of it or not.

-

A/N : okay, obviously not my best work, I kind of rushed this and I’m so sorry anon :( if you want me to re-do it, I will. I just wanted this out as quickly as possible.

I’m not feeling too good, this seasonal sickness is probably catching up with me or maybe I’m just feeling really tired and sad of Sanji in Whole Cake right now and I’m feeling too heartbroken :<

[missturtleduck]

hi i saw ur requests were open and i would love if u could do a sokka x reader :) where reader is really shy and he likes to tease her and flirt with her to see her all flustered but she denies him actually liking her bc she thinks it’s just his personality to be funny like that. but then there’s the classic oh no there’s only one bed thing? thank you!

Ooooh I loved writing this! Tropes? Love them. Fluff? So fun, so sweet. I hope you enjoy, anon, and have a very happy holiday! <3

Teasing

Sokka x shy!Reader

It was a well-known fact that Sokka was a tease.

Now, he wasn’t a tease in the common sense, more that he took some joy in being a so-called comedian. Y/N seemed to be the person in their gang that got the brunt of his teasing. Every time he came up with some sarcastic quip, she would laugh along with everyone else – though most of the time she was the only one who found him funny – but then there were the other times.

She had been sparring with Zuko, who was surprisingly adept with swords for a bender, when Sokka had come by whistling with faux innocence. As he took a seat on the floor, his eyes were trained on the fight. Feeling his blue-eyed gaze boring into her, she felt her entire body flush. Steadying her breathing, Y/N pushed down the flustered flutter bats inhabiting her stomach. A frustrated cry escaped her lips as she pinned Zuko’s blades to the floor with her own.

“Sokka,” She breathed out, hating how hot she felt. “Sokka, w-what are you doing?”

He grinned. “Just enjoying the view. You know, I always thought red was Zuko’s colour, but you are boasting a lovely shade today.”

Absently, Y/N put a palm to her face, only becoming more flustered as she realised her skin had in fact became darker. As the blood rushed faster through her body, she looked desperately at Zuko for some reprieve.

“Sokka, are you here for any reason other than being a complete clown?” Zuko said, sighing in pure exasperation even as Y/N had him pinned.

The boy ignored him completely. “Has anyone ever told just how adorable you are? Because you really are.”

“Sokka,” Zuko said again, his voice less patient. “Go away before we make you.”

“Alright, alright,” He tutted, hands in the air as if in surrender. “I’ll leave you two to your dance lessons. Call me if you fall; I’ll come and catch you.”

Waiting for him to be out of earshot, Y/N groaned, dropping her sword and freeing Zuko. Her entire face was on fire. Sure, it was a metaphor, a hyperbolic one at that, but if Zuko decided to shove his ignited palm in her face, it would not manage to be as hot as she was feeling now. It might be slightly less sweaty. Ew.

Lowering herself to the ground, she sat, stretching out her aching limbs, pouring water over her roasting head. Y/N, needless to say, was mortified by Sokka’s teasing, but when was she not? She was somewhat shyer than her female friends; Katara had this maternal instinct about her that kicked into overdrive as soon as someone seemed needy. It was honestly scarier than the Avatar State. Toph was just... Toph. The girl was at least four years younger than Y/N and utterly terrifying, approaching people and situations with no fear. Then there was Suki. Suki had a knack of getting people to like her, being the loveable, charismatic leader, she was.

And that left Y/N.

Y/N struggled being heard in many a conversation. Ask her to take a compliment? No. No. Not happening. No thank you. Her shy demeanour was labelled cute by a few different people, though they all seemed to be joking – especially Sokka.

“Do you want me to sort him out for you?”

Y/N looked up, meeting Zuko’s very serious gaze for just a moment before staring at the ground. “No, it’s okay. He’s like that with everyone.”

“What?” Zuko frowned, slumping to the ground too. “What are you on about? He doesn’t flirt with everyone!”

“That wasn’t flirting!” She insisted, feeling that bashful flush creeping in again. 

“He was just teasing, like he does with everyone!”

Zuko’s lips quirked. “He called you adorable.”

“Yesterday, he called Momo adorable.”

“He said you flushed was your colour.”

“And he said that red was yours, sunshine.”

“Oh, Y/N, I’ll catch you if you fall!”

Y/N stammered. “He could have been talking to either of us!”

There was some silence between them. Y/N didn’t usually mind sitting in silence with Zuko, who was just as awkward as her most of the time. However, the wide, toothy grin like a catgator’s was highly disconcerting.

“Zuko, I don’t know what you’re seeing, but he wasn’t flirting,” Y/N said finally, quietly commanding. “He’s just messing around like he usually does.”

The prince sighed, suppressing his mischievous grin. Raising his swords, the pair charged each other again.

                                                      ✦

In the midst of a war, there wasn’t much space for fun. With the constant movement between the Western Air Temple and many significant locations to build their defences after the Day of Black Sun, Y/N found she hardly had time for anything other than training and strategizing. Sure, she may be considered meek when compared to her peers, but her mind was sharper than her blade.

After watching Aang master firebending, Sokka masterminding a prison break, and Katara nearly murdering a man – all with Zuko’s help – she had some whiplash. She might even say that she had been somewhat blindsided by them, but she didn’t particularly mind. It was when they moved onto Ember Island, however, that Y/N found there to be an issue. In all the excitement, or terror, of being separated from Haru and the others, and possibly murdering Sparky Sparky Boom Man, the gang ended up hiding out on Ember Island.

Spirits, did Y/N love the sunshine. The sand? Not so much, nor the swimsuits. Nevertheless, she much preferred it to Aang’s beloved ancestral temple.

“Okay,” Zuko said as they all collected together in the house, “So there’s a bit of an issue.”

“Fire Nation?” Katara asked, eyes narrowing.

“Worse,” Zuko said, voice grave. “There are seven of us, and only six beds.”

The teenagers all looked between each other with varying looks of embarrassment and disgust. It was Toph who spoke first.

“Well, I for one do not want to share a room,” She scoffed, stomping her foot – a reminder of her power. “I can already hear all of you when we sleep on the ground. I am not missing out on my chance for a quiet night of sleep.”

“That seems fair,” Zuko hummed as he pulled a hat off of a dresser. “Everyone else, unless they have some reason why not, will put their name in here.”

Sokka whined, pointing his finger at the heir of the Fire Nation. “Fine! But they should get the biggest bedroom.”

Y/N swore Zuko smirked. “Done.”

Sat on the floor watching him write names, the group waited anxiously to see who would be sharing a room at least for that night. Mixing up bits of paper, he seemed to be building up some bravado, akin to a showman about to pull a jackalope out of a hat.

“Sokka.”

The boy cursed under his breath as Zuko continued on with his little show, the piece of paper disintegrating as easily as a leaf floating in a breeze.

“And Y/N!”

She met Zuko’s eye, entire body hot, sending a psychic message along the lines of sprits, no, Zuko, no, please, Zuko, don’t do this.

Despite the fact that Y/N knew Sokka was only joking with his teasing, somewhere along the line she had ended up falling for it – for him. It was sudden and violent, the way a meteor crashed through the atmosphere, roaring, brilliant, and completely obliterating anything in its path. Currently, Y/N was that metaphorical meteorite, burning up and crashing into the earth.

Since Zuko apparently couldn’t read minds, she chanced a glance at Sokka. She expected some sort of joke, a quip, anything. Instead, he was deadly silent, stony in his face, staring too at Zuko. Was he blushing, or was she making it up in her head? This question soon slipped from her brain as she those baby blue eyes were staring straight at her.

Tui and La, Agni, spirits above; he hated her.

“Cool!” She said, though it came out more like a squeak. “I’ll see you tonight, I guess.”

“Y/N, we have the entire day before- “

She cut Suki off. “Yep, busy today! Busy, busy, busy. Plenty of strategic planning to do before the big day!”

And she was gone. Even Aang, renowned creator of the air scooter, had never seen a person move so fast, and Y/N wasn’t even a bender. In her haste, she didn’t catch the sly looks, nor the disapproving one courtesy of Katara. She definitely didn’t catch the shy grin on Sokka’s face, muddled with complete embarrassment. Getting as far away from the house as possible was her current goal, and she achieved it with insane speed – and longevity.

For an entire day, Y/N managed to see none of her friends, excluding Appa and Momo. Her animal friends seemed very concerned and very interested in her noughts and crosses diagrams in the black volcanic sand of Ember Island. It was only when Yue began to rise above the horizon that she thought it would be safe to come out. With what felt like a walk of shame, she trekked back to the beach house, a sleeping Momo cradled in her arms like a baby. Even Appa, who had been occupied with all sorts of made-up games throughout the day, was beginning to sway, eyes drooping, weighed down by sleep. Settling them down in the warm sand, Y/N climbed the wooden stairs.

Being quiet used to get her everywhere unseen; it didn’t work that night. Wordless, her friends’ good night wishes falling on deaf ears, she entered the biggest bedroom, alone. Falling face first onto the bed, she muffled a frustrated scream into one of the too many decadent pillows adorning it. Heaving herself onto her back, Y/N groaned dramatically with the effort it took. This bed was so soft. She tried to think of a more comfy, luxurious bed she had ever been on – and failed. The four-poster frame was casting odd shadows across the dark room. It felt especially lonely.

She felt especially lonely.

Sitting up, a low rumble filled the silence. Her stomach was apparently rather unhappy with the distinct lack of food during the day. Y/N had forgotten about that. She weighed up the options; go out and face embarrassment, or skip dinner for the first time in her life. Fortunately, she needn’t think long.

“So, everyone’s going to bed, and I remembered you hadn’t eaten.”

Sokka.

Of course.

“Oh,” Was all she could manage, mentally kicking herself for her utter lack of articulation. “Th-thanks, Sokka.”

Flicking on the light, the shadows no longer seemed odd, nor did the room feel lonely. There, in the doorway, stood Sokka. He was pretty – something that always took Y/N by surprise even though she saw him every day. Sure, he hadn’t grown into his gangly limbs yet, but he was getting there. His shoulders had gotten broader, his arms larger from training. She couldn’t help but imagine how comfy he’d be to lie against, how warm his hold would be.

“I brought snacks?”

Opening her mouth only to close it again, Y/N felt like a fish thrown mercilessly out of water. Instead, she managed a timid pat on the bed. He was slow to react, slower to move, and she only felt more inadequate. Whatever Zuko thought he saw at the temple was wrong.

“Wow, this bed is soft,” Sokka gasped, bouncing lightly on it like a small child. “It’s like sitting on a cloud!”

Y/N couldn’t stop the giggle that passed her lips as she took a slice of fruit from the platter he had brought in. For the briefest moment, infinitesimally small, Sokka ceased with his childish antics and just looked. Brightening, he seemed to thrive – delight – in her laughter, continuing to goof about with the numerous pillows and posh looking decor.

“Whoa.”

Y/N looked up at him from her laughing, stomach aching with joy. “What?”

“I didn’t know you could get prettier,” He said, brows furrowed, eyes sparkling.

She turned mute in an instant, feeling that all too familiar flush again, only this time it was close – more intense. Silent, she took another piece of fruit, eating it in moments, anything to give her time. “You’re teasing me again, aren’t you?”

He frowned. “What? No. I’m not- “

“It’s okay if you are!” Y/N insisted, her smile plastered on and her heart aching. “I know you joke about with us all, and it’s just how you are. It’s not a bad thing, and I know you’re just joking and- “

“Y/N,” Sokka said, almost incredulous. “I’m not joking. I have never joked about that kind of thing with you.”

She stopped dead. “What?”

It wasn’t a question – well, not to Sokka at least. That one word was her address to the universe. It was astonishment, frustration, incredulity, sheer joy, so many emotions all wrapped into one simple word. The moments that passed between that word and their locked gaze spoke a thousand more words, sang a hundred more emotions.  

“You didn’t know?”

Her head was empty. “Prettier?”

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” Sokka chuckled weakly, moving the platter to the side.

“Prettier,” Y/N repeated slowly, looking up at him, “As in I was already pretty?”

“Erm, yes?”

“You think I’m pretty?”

“Tui and La, yes.”

Oh.

“Okay,” She said, testing the waters, “And you like it when I blush?”

“Yeah, you look cute,” He admitted, sheepish as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Looking down, bashful, she recalled training with Zuko. “The word you used was adorable.”

No words came in response to that, only a gentle hand on her cheek. Guiding her face up, Sokka looked at her and saw her. Y/N could see him reaching for words that danced in his mind and away from his grasp, so many more pretty, teasing words he could say. But he wasn’t teasing, not really. He certainly wasn’t when he pressed his lips to hers. It was sweet and easy to melt into; she didn’t need to be shy, not with him.

They shared more sweet kisses, laughing under the moonlight in that fancy bed they got to share. Fruit, a bed, kisses; they shared them all, drifting into an easy sleep as the moon began to slip away into daylight. Basking in the prospect of a lazy morning, they made the most of it.

They weren’t even mad when they found out Zuko rigged the entire thing.

[nighttimepixels]

Heyhey Night! I have a buncha questions after seeing all your animations and they're just so cool so! I hope this is ok!! Can u animate normally too, or only pixel? Not that that's bad, just wondering! What's ur preferred kinda animation? Do u prefer lipflaps or lipsyncs? What's the hardest part of the animation process?? What's ur favorite?? Any part u don't like? What's a thing people don't see that u put a lotta time into? Do u have a fave animation u've done? Thank u btw for all ur art!!

Oh stars, okay, yeah- I’m happy to answer all these!! I’ll break them up so it’s easier to read X) And awww geez thank you so much for your support, sweet anon! It really makes my day when people say they like anything I’ve made, and stars knows it’s all the more true with the sweet sweet time sink that is animation   (´•̥̥̥\\ヮ\\•̥̥̥` )

I’ll also put this under a cut since it gets a bit long :)

Can u animate normally too, or only pixel?

This one cracks me up a little, don’t worry about it XD I totally can! In fact I enjoy it a lot - and... gods, animation software is a nightmare and a half, to be honest. That’s the biggest hurdle.

I do just straight up love pixel art and the aesthetic I can achieve with it, but I do at times miss ‘normal’ (non pixel?) animation, heh. Especially sound-syncing! I do all my pixel art in Asesprite which imo is the best pixel art program, not to mention made by an actual pixel artist - buuuut it doesn’t have a sound file option. Which makes sense! Er, frankly, most pixel artists wouldn’t... use it to animate like I do? More for games, or for looping gifs? So I can’t complain much, it makes a lot of sense that it’s a low dev priority.

Now, when it comes to other animation programs... I’ve tried a lot. Unfortunately, the ones that are preferable for the feel I like are either way out of budget (stares at TVPaint in the distance) or... well, have too high a learning curve for my single-person workflow, really. (OpenToonz, sigh...) And a lot of the free programs are good for getting a start in animation, but once you get to a certain point you really feel the limitations (whether it’s workflow, sound import, exports, trying to make something more finished than a rough...).

Then... there’s animation programs I just don’t like, and a lot of those are angled towards bone-style animations (nothing wrong with those, they just don’t fit my style? and are too much time investment for a single artist to output more quickly...), or are, well, freakin’ Adobe Animate.

I... gods, I do not like Animate (formerly Flash). And I made a whole 2 minute+ animation in it a couple years ago! (It’s very rough and bad and doesn’t make sense, pfff, not gonna link it XD) It’s... clunky, and vector oriented, and freaking lines don’t go where I want them too, and it tries to predict too much?? It’s hard to put to words, gah. For me, my animation style would be much more... raster oriented. Flow, hand drawn inbetweens, yaddayadda. Animate’s great for... plenty of things, but not for that kind of animation. There are far better animators than I who make it work with freakin’ aplomb though! So really, it’s just my taste, haha.

.... Er, that got long! I’ll cut off more rambling about animation software and tl;dr boil it down to “I love animating period, but turnaround is something I have to keep in mind as a freelancer, as well as budget, and my current focus is pixel animations for a number of reasons.” X)

What's ur preferred kinda animation?

I’m not exactly sure what this one means! Between pixel and non-pixel? Er, they both have their pros and cons, so I couldn’t say! But if I have to break down my current animations into categories, I’d say I have cutscenes, loop environments, and the broad game-like animations...

The first would be something like this animation feat. teasing Edge, the second would be something like this one with skesgo’s Starlan and Cinnamon, and the third is... everything else! From headsprite loops to ‘small’ characters running and so on.

Honestly, they’re all a lot of fun for different reasons! Cutscenes are generally the most challenging, but they give me the chance to push my limits and try and pull off something cool, whether I’m having to conserve frames (to keep the cost of a commission down) or whether I’m going more all out (which is a pricey commission, or a fun personal project, lol).

Loop environments are their own challenge - it may not look like it, but I put a lot of thought into how to make them look as natural as possible! From timing of talking characters, to where to place a blink, to exactly how many frames it’ll take to ‘soften’ a motion (so people aren’t just snapping between major poses) and so on - it takes... a lot of time to animate even simple scenes well, so I do a lot of mental math on how I can keep things affordable when someone approaches me for a commission. And frankly, I totally undercharge;; but I do my best!

Game-like animations are just fun. They range, they’re silly, to intense (I’ve animated fight animations before for game concepts), to indulgent, and beyond! Headsprites are always a delight, especially if I get to push the expression X) and I love tiny things (I mean... I am a pixel artist...) so getting to make lil tiny babs even just walking can be fun - and also, a lot more time consuming than you might thing, esp if you wanna make it smooth, like this lil Frisk I did last month or so:

Do u prefer lipflaps or lipsyncs?

oTL

B... both??

Okay, lipsyncing basically is very time consuming. AND, I freakin’ love it. I love puzzles, and when it boils down to it, that’s what super fun & expressive lip syncing is (some Ghibli animations are the heckin’ best for this)...

and, I’m a pixel artist, without sound-syncing capabilities in her main art program oTL Yeah, I can export frames and line them up and check but... gods, it’s so time consuming. I’ve tried it out of desperation - but for even five seconds of sound (sayyyyy a lil Vine...) that’s hours upon hours of transferring back and forth just to check.

So even though I love lipsyncs, they’re too time-consuming (and ergo, if I’m being commissioned, often too expensive) to do often! Someday I’d like to get back to doing them more often, but for now, practically I stick to/’prefer’, in the loosest terms, to do lipflaps. For the layman, this is that ‘two frame’ (maybe three) open-closed style of animating mouths- however, I’m working on ways to keep that style, but make it more expressive! It depends on the project - and in commissions, I’ll pretty much always prioritize giving the client a little more body animation than mouth animation, unless it’d really fit what they’ve requested.

What's the hardest part of the animation process??

.... damn, this is a tough one! Sometimes I’d say it’s the initial concept work - but it depends on what I have to work with. Sometimes that parts a breeze - and honestly freeing, bc I can take the time to try and push what I’ll do with it!

Roughing is one of my favorite parts, tbh. It can be tricky, sure, but getting to go from keyframes to in-betweens & smears to adding the flairs of secondary motion (think hair swishing, or coats flaring, etc) is so exciting and satisfying.

From there it’s all refining, and tweaking...

Hm. Honestly, the hardest is probably the initial cleanup and lining. It’s cool to see it come together, but it feels so much slower, and it can drag - and then you find bits that actually don’t translate well from the rough stage, so you have to go back and rework, and oof it can just drag in this phase, heh. Plus, I’m always tempted to add more frames, but it’s not always realistic - I’m a perfectionist, to say the least, so I’m constantly having to leash myself back so I don’t turn a project into a half-a-year undertaking, pff.

What's ur favorite??

Probably gave myself away talking about the roughing stage X) It’s just loose and fun and free! But seeing it all come together is also damn satisfying too, so that’s not to say I don’t like the refining portions either...

Outside of that, I also really like the beginning of the color stage! .... Before having to translate shadows/highlights to each and every frame *shudders*. That gets tedious, but it’s so critical! Anyways, though, I heckin’ love colors. I always have a rough palette in mind at the start of the process, but I go ham and play with it as a little break and a true test when I get to actual slap together a full frame with full color, highlights/shadows included! It’s exciting, like a preview of the finished product, basically :D

Any part u don't like?

Heh, by the time I get to shadows/highlights, I tend to be getting impatient, I suppose. It’s not that I don’t like it - I definitely highly value it, and if it was the only thing I was working on in an animation that’d be different, but as a one-woman team I’m just raring to be done at that point; it’s very nearly the last thing I do, after all, so it’s a struggle to focus. X)

I suppose one that always gets me is more complicated backgrounds. It’s a work in progress, as I’m getting better and finding the fun in them for sure! But I’m still not where I want to be in translating ‘background concept’ to ‘finished background’ - it feels more stiff than my animations, I guess. So it’s a frustrating part... but hey, it’s part of it! And learning to embrace the challenge is a big help.

... I just always have to make sure I have a big cup of coffee and a good jam playlist going when I sit down to do ‘em, in the meantime.(=▿= ||||)

What's a thing people don't see that u put a lotta time into?

Definitely the coloring. This goes for both backgrounds and the animated characters themselves. It’s... never as simple as it looks? It’s time consuming, and while some parts of frames can be copy-pasted, I also put subtle work into the animations that mean that some pixels are off so it ends up being marginally faster to just recolor, but then there’s shadows, and working in pixels means that if I miss one then there’s a flickering pixel mid-animation, and sometimes there’s an unconnected line and then you bucket fill the whole damn thing, and gods know I’ve got colored lines so I have to be exacting with keeping the same ratios highlighted vs darker in shifting frames...

*deep breath*

... Yeah, basically the coloring is super time consuming. And balancing bg coloring with animated elements in the image itself is a whole extra challenge on top of that. For 99% of my animations, I can damn near guarantee I’ve spent at least twice as much time coloring it as I have animating it.

Do u have a fave animation u've done?

*looks at my goblin hoard of animations in horror like I’ve been asked to choose a favorite child*

... Stars above, I can’t choose! I love them all, and at this point a good portion of them are commissions- it wouldn’t feel right to choose!

*...carefully covers the hoard’s metaphorical ears*

... also, that said, I can admit a soft spot for any of them that involve humor. I tend to get to do extremely expressive faces and action there, even if I have to ration the frames, so it turns out really fun X)

And though rough and I’ve definitely done stuff I’m more proud of, I still crack up at this one I did a while back of the nonsense ‘ass’ joke between Red & Stretch... their faces were too much fun XD I’ve gotten waybetter since then though, Big Oof, I see so many things I can fix; might go back and redo it someday.

Honestly, though, I just freakin’ love animating! They all have their ups and downs andI always put a lot of love into them and find a way to have fun with it and try to push any emotion/theme (when applicable). I like to think it shows, but idk, that’s something I have to leave up to you guys X)

[scullyeffect]

i was & still am a lot like you when it comes to hangups about dating and i've realized that i am a lesbian. i still read your posts and we used to talk when i had a tumblr because we both have seizures. i had tried going out with a guy and was hoping to get sex "over with" but then couldn't go through with it. my porn tastes are weird and the only guy i can think about in that way is Fox Mulder/DD. i still haven't done anything with anyone else besides a couple of kisses but i do want a gf.

anyway i was just curious if you have pondered whether or not you might be gay?

yay twitch squad! i don’t really want to get sex “over with” but like...every time i go on a date and it like goes well??? the second he starts to message me afterward i fucking ghost. like i talked to this one guy for two weeks before we went out (usually i’d match with someone on tinder and go out with them a few days later or smth), and when we went out he was SUPER nice and a WRITER and we talked at length about writing (which i never get to do irl so it was WONDERFUL) and we saw a movie and he was so nice!!! but i literally was too spooked out by the idea of going on a second date that i just ghosted the poor guy. he was wonderful. i’m an asshole. i’d like to have sex and i’m not necessarily ‘waiting for the right person’ but like, first step is i have to probably keep going out with someone, and i always ghost.

ok short answer to your question: yes i have pondered whether or not i might be gay

conclusion: i have no idea

i know ppl are like ~u just know ur sexuality inside urself~ but i need like...i need someone, girl or guy, to just kiss me or something so i can maybe get a feel for ONE side of the spectrum. i’m not satisfied by ~feeling~ a certain orientation. i want proof and i know that isn’t a popular or very attainable thing but sorry i want it. 

my parents definitely think i’m gay and have asked me repeatedly because even as a kid i would get obsessed with authors or actresses and devour everything i could get my hands on. also because the second my sister turned 18 (literally her birthday) she slept with a guy she’d been lusting over who was 27 and married and wouldn’t have sex with her until she was 18 (FUCKED UP AND I VOICED MY DISAPPROVAL BUT DO PPL LISTEN NO), and my sister has had continual boyfriends ever since. but i went to a very small mostly-girls high school in a very small town. nobody dated. i didn’t even consider it, and then i didn’t go to college so i didn’t get the big eye opening “real world” experience / environment where there would be more dateable material. instead i moved abroad and isolated myself, then moved back home and isolated myself. 

i think a big part of a “fear” i have toward putting myself out there or dating guys is all this man hating everywhere. like yes. men are pigs. but what if i want to date one. what if i want a guy to ask me out. it puts thoughts in my head like “im a bad feminist because i think (blank) is cute and i want him to think i’m cute and i want us to go on a date and i want him to kiss me” which is so FUCKED. i shouldn’t feel bad for wanting to love someone/them to love me and it jUST HAPPEn to be a guy!!! 

also i didn’t have a dad growing up and when my mom remarried when i was 14 i hated it and so i sometimes associate men with unwelcome change etc. i did have crushes, though, which encourages the idea that i could be heterosexual. i worked in a kitchen when i was 16 and was the only girl among 6 men, and the chef loved it because he said they were so much better behaved with a girl (even a teenager) in the kitchen. they were all super nice and very encouraging and never inappropriate and there was this south african guy named Liam who was probably 25 and i ADORED him and he called me ‘chick’. god. miss that dude.

for a time i thought i was bi, but i couldn’t decide if i just liked women as in “they’re easier for me to talk to, most of my friends are girls, i feel safer with girls, girls are pretty” or if i was attracted to them sexually. i feel like there are often girls in my life who i think “god i just am so attracted to her” as in “i want to BE her! i wish i was that cool! that mysterious! that well read! that pretty! had that life!” but i’ve never really thought “god i’m in love with her” this is all very complicated i’m sorry

yeah fox mulder is my self love mind candy. but i’d also like to be swept off my feet by matthew goode and live in domestic bliss with john krasinski. every man looks the same to me, but i do know that i like a little shadow of facial hair maybe. 

also i watch too many serial killer documentaries. a man is like “can i help you carry your suitcase?” in the metro and my primary thought is “EXIT STRATEGY” before i realize i’m lugging 50kg of luggage and yes, i would like some help monsieur

honestly anon, let’s make out and see what happens because i am 100% open to trying things out and i have a healthy mix of hetero dreams and the occasional gay dream and this is equally confusing to me.

i also hate that i’m even on dating apps. it makes me so sad. but mostly because i ghost on people. i also find the idea of someone finding ME attractive very bizarre and unfathomable. i’m funny and witty, i know this, but physically i just don’t see what could possibly be the draw for either sex. i ponder this a lot. i genuinely want to know if i’m physically attractive or if my personality is the attraction and the appearance just comes with the package. because dating apps are so based on appearance. 

[thedefinitionofbts]

Error

Pairings: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Scifi, Angst, Robot Au

Words: 4.5K

Description: As requested by anon: “have u seen Vixx Error MV?? can i request a jungkook robot au based on the MV?? something along the storyline about after ur tragic death he couldnt live on without you so he made a robot that looks exactly like you and programmed all their memories they had together into the robot. but the police (well more those ppl in black from the MV lol) finds out about it and take actions. and so now you and her are trying to escape together.”

A/N: First off, I’m just going to say I love Vixx’s Error, and I’ve been wanting to write a robot au for a long time coming. I hope you don’t mind that I added my own little twist to this. Thank you for the request!

Jungkook stares at the humanoid robot positioned in front of him, tracing along every edge and curvature of the android that is an exact replica of the woman he has only able to see in his dreams since the day she left this world. Her eyes remained delicately closed, body rigid and lifeless, but her hair flowed naturally down towards her shoulders, and it reminds him of the exact way it used to flutter in the ocean breeze, the exact way it used to embody the familiar scent of her. He continues to gaze at the rendering machine, eyes flickering with ambiguity and swelling with imminent tears threatening to spill over. He is unsure of himself; uncertain of what he has done, and yet he cannot stop his heart from continuing to call out for someone his mind knows is already gone.

There is a kind of stillness in the room that makes Jungkook wholly hesitate one last time. His head throbs as the tiny voice of reason makes an attempt to crawl forward and awaken him, but he squeezes his skull with his hands, shutting it away before it can convince him to stop while he still can. Part of him knows this is not the answer, but a larger portion of him doesn’t care because he’s too close to stop now. He holds his breath, thrashing in his self-created penitentiary, shaking violently and coercing the voice to go away, and when it finally does, he’s ready to proceed without any more disruptions.

An eerie silence looms as the approaching finale instigates the slow churning rise of apprehension in his chest. He inhales and exhales, gradually calming his stiffened body and proceeds to finish off what he started.

After months of burying himself in the lab--designing, experimenting, and building—driven purely by his grief stricken heart and the determination of a madman, he was finally one step away from completion.

This was it.  

He was one step away from bringing you back.

  …

 9 Months Ago

 Whoever came up with the five stage of loss was spewing bullshit.

Jungkook has been stuck in limbo, slipping between the stratums of earth and hell for weeks, and the fact that his therapist kept telling him that time will heal the deepest of wounds was infuriating and maddening because Jungkook doesn’t buy any of it, especially not when he’s fully convinced that he has the ability to bring you back.

“Jungkook, are you sure about this? You understand that it’s illegal right?”

“No one has to find out. You won’t tell the authorities, will you?” Jungkook looks at him intently, eyes burning and desperate, nonverbally begging the older male to keep this secret, to hide it between the two of them for as long as need be. Of all the people in this world, Jungkook trusted Yoongi, and he knew for a fact that Yoongi would never rat him out.

Yoongi looks at the younger male with pitiful eyes and has no choice but to let out a defeated sigh. He knows Jungkook won’t listen to him anyways because any sort of reasoning just ends up going through one ear and out the other. Jungkook is too stubborn, too hopelessly in love with his dead girlfriend to think straight, to accept any kind of consolation offered in hopes of getting him to move on with his life because he still thinks it’s his fault.

That accident was a tragedy, and no one could’ve predicted that semi-truck would collide with his SUV that day. But he still chooses to imprison himself in guilt because he insists he could’ve prevented the unavoidable. And Yoongi can’t fucking stand to see him in pain, he can’t bear to see the kid continue to live in perpetual torment brought on by something that he had no control over, but the whole idea of creating a conscious robot did not sit well with the older male.

Yoongi looks back up at Jungkook, who was still waiting for an affirmative response. At least Jungkook wasn’t crying until his tears ran dry or showing up with sunken cheeks and bloodshot eyes from not being able to eat or sleep for days. He was maybe doing a tad bit better after the tragedy that happened three months ago, and although Yoongi doesn’t know if it’s because of this crazy idea or if he’s actually just moving to the next emotional stage of loss, he figures it’s much better to be trusted by the younger male than to be seen as an enemy so that way he can at least be of aid if worse comes to worst.

“No. I won’t tell anyone.” Yoongi murmurs, sighing once more.

Jungkook’s lips curve into the faintest of smiles, something Yoongi hasn’t seen the lights of in a long time. “Thanks.”

And then he’s gone, disappearing for the next six months.

  …

  Memory download complete.

Your eyes gently flutter open, squinting as your system adjusted to the artificial lights streaming down from the ceiling. Lost in a confused daze, you take a moment to stabilize, scanning the surrounding area to gain some sort of a footing, so at least you could process how to proceed from here. You don’t really feel anything unbearable, nothing you can’t handle with a bit of buffering from your hard-wired code, that is, until you see him.

Jeon Jungkook

The flood of emotions that washes over you the moment you recognize him instantly is overwhelming, to the point where it’s almost too overpowering to fully comprehend, too much for your system to logically handle, which shouldn’t actually be possible but somehow is. He’s looking at you with anticipation, eyes glittering with the tears he’s trying so hard to hold in.

“Jungkook” You voice, stepping forward and throwing yourself into his arms.

He welcomes your embrace immediately, enveloping you in his arms as securely as he can. Caressing your head as you bury your face into the crook of his neck, like he was afraid you would vanish if he didn’t hold you tightly enough. And it feels familiar; the same way it has felt when he hugged you on multiple occasions in the past, only now, it’s even more desperate, and he’s even more unwilling to let go.

“Y/N” He breathes out in relief and rapture as his tears finally tumble over, streaming down his cheeks and onto your exposed shoulders, and you can feel their warmth, the anguish they carry with them, and you can sense his pain in the most undiluted way. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too, Jungkook.” You whisper back despite not being able to understand the precise reason for your response, but seeing him quelled a deeply rooted longing that you are just now becoming hyper aware of. You can fully grasp the cause for his unbearable yearning, the origin of why every inch of his body was conveying elation at the sight of you. However, simultaneously, you felt that there was something important missing, something you didn’t have the means to obtain the link for or find a way to trace it back to the source data. 

“You remember me, right?” He pulls away slowly, holding you by the shoulders and searching within your synthetic eyes for that indisputable glint of recognition, the confirmation that his experiment was a success, and he had indeed brought you back. His features are laced with expectancy, and you can tell he’s grappling with the fear that you don’t remember him, and he failed.  

You nod your head deliberately, flashing him an endearing smile. “Of course.”

At the sound of your words, he returns the gesture fondly and exhales deeply. “I can’t believe you’re back.” He breathes out, leading you over to the bench and sitting you down beside him. “How do you feel?”

The question catches you off guard, you don’t know why there’s such an opposing mixture of emotions playing inside of you. “Happy to see you.” You blurt out, despite knowing it was a white lie. It hurts, but for some reason you don’t want to tell him that it does.

He smiles again, and the pain within you subsides momentarily. “Me too.”

“I’m sorry I left” The words come out before you’ve made a prediction about the response they would elicit. You aren’t sure if it will work, but you wanted to get one fact straight right away.  

A shadow hovers over his irises, and the aching inside of you swells once more. “It was my fault. I should’ve reacted faster.” He lowers his gaze even more. “I wish it was me instead of you.”

You close your eyes, replaying that moment of seeing the girl drenched in blood, lying unconscious in a totaled vehicle, and you understand. You know that you are supposed to be the girl he is longing to see. “No, Jungkook. It’s not your fault. It was an accident, no one could’ve predicted those events to happen that day. And please stop wishing you could’ve taken my place.”

He takes your hand in his, rubbing the back with his thumb in the way you’ve always loved most. “You’re right.” He agrees. “But it doesn’t matter now, you’re here and that’s all that matters.” 

His words do not provide you the unadulterated comfort that he intends. They are sincere, but they’re only pieces of the whole that is still broken, and you know it’s only a band aid covering a wound that has not been disinfected. “You’ve been through too much.” You squeeze his hand firmly, leaning your head against his chest just like the way you used.

“Anything for you.” Jungkook doesn’t pay attention to the strange sensation of persuading himself he’s brought you back from the dead. He’s completely fine with allowing his brain to continue tricking himself into thinking you are no different from the girl he lost in that car accident a year ago. 

But you on the other hand, are unable to ignore what you perceive to be a miscalculation.

  …

  “Do you like it?” Jungkook says, walking you into your new bedroom connected to his lab.

You look around at the spacious replica of the old room you shared with him back before you had died, complete with cream colored walls decorated with paintings and photos of the two of you in your happiest moments, a dresser for both of your clothes, your vanity lined with cosmetics and your favorite stuffed animals, his shelf of action figures and comic books, and finally a king-sized bed with white sheets placed directly in the center. It resembled the bedroom from your memories down to the very last detail, and you can’t ignore the bittersweet taste in your heart as you stood there, staring at the visual evidence of Jungkook’s attempt to restore that which cannot be repaired.  “You have a very good memory.” You comment.

He laughs for the first time in 12 months, the sound saturating the room strangely foreign to his own ears, but nevertheless completely genuine. “I scanned it and used 3-D printing technology. Piece of cake.”

You throw him a playful grin. “Boastful now, are we?”

“It’s not bragging if it’s the truth.”

“Never heard of that one.” You cock a brow.

Jungkook scratches the back of his neck, realizing it’s been a year since he’s cracked a joke. “It’s been too long, I’ve lost my touch.”

“Well, let’s bring it back then.” You nudge him in the shoulder, and he responds by reaching over and tickling you until you are both squirming on the floor giggling like the good old days.

When the two of you calm down for your laughing fit, you continue to lie on the floor together as Jungkook takes you in his arms once more. And it’s not that you didn’t enjoy being like this with him more than anything else, but the glaring fault line is there again, and it’s cutting into you like shards of glass gripped in the palms of your hands.  

“And to think I almost listened when they told me to let you go.” He tilts his head down to look at you, expression unreadable, but you can sense his grip on that shard of glass, and you know he thinks ignoring the blood oozing out of his hand will make the stinging go away because that’s what your system wants you to think as well.

But it’s a lie because the wound is growing deeper.

“It would’ve been less painful.” You tell him, almost wanting to be more adamant about the statement.

He shakes his head. “I’ll never be able to.” He whispers.

The look in his eyes is exactly how you feel when he voices those words. A mixture of emotions that are indescribable except through the endless stories built by all the memories the two of you have shared, and the reality of having a future of infinite possibilities taken away, stolen abruptly so that you are only left with fading pages of a lost life.

You scoot in closer to him and hug him snugly. Taking in every piece of sensory information you are provided in that intimate position. You are listening to every vibration of his body, the sound of his heartbeat, and his calming whispers, and in that instant you can feel yourself inching that much closer to the missing source despite knowing you’ll never reach it.

  …

  Over the next few weeks, the error that had made itself known since the moment you opened your eyes for the first time is kept at bay through your interactions with Jungkook. From the moment you wake in the morning until the day comes to its inevitable end, he is with you. He is always with you, and the fact that you would never want to have it any other way, makes you feel selfish because you were fully aware that his love for you is more than you deserve. He’s beautiful just like this world he has gifted you the ability to experience, and everything about the days you are allowed to spend with him leaves you breathless even if those ephemeral emotions are artificial. He’s covering your shared wounds with his undying affection until the surface heals while the infection below is allowed to resume spreading beneath the scars, and even though the pain is reduced to a dull throbbing, it never vanishes completely.

But he does it because he can’t let go of you.  

And it’s not that Jungkook was very good at hiding his own pain or deceiving himself into trusting that everything was perfect. It was the fact that he had literally become immune to his actions, unable to focus on treating the problem rather than the symptoms. But you completely understand him because he made you feel like your life with him was authentic, existent, and tangible. In his embrace, you are able to set your worries aside temporarily. While listening to his voice you can’t help but believe in his words. Seeing his smile you are gifted the hope that everything can potentially work out. But it wasn’t long before the superficiality of the life you have forced yourself to consider valid is actually counterfeit, and you can never run away from such a fundamental issue.

“Y/N, I have good news!”

“What is it Jungkook?” You turn around to face him as he wraps you in his arms in excitement.

“I’ve figured out how to turn myself into a cyborg.” He announces in an utterly delighted tone that sends your system directly into panic mode.

“What?!” You pull away from him, shaking your head and trying to register his words. “No, why would you do that?”

His smile drops when he realizes your reaction was not the one he had expected to witness. “So we can be together. Isn’t that great?” He peers at you hopefully, waiting for a different response.

Together. For some reason, the word hits you suddenly like a harsh gust of wind that snaps a thick branch off of a tree because you are reminded in that instant of realization that being with him was not right. It was never right to begin with, and no matter how expertly you try to hide your mistake, it always comes back to bite. It is then that the cause of the missing source finally revealed itself, and it only took one decision from him for you to locate the reason for why all of this felt so wrong.

You were not who he assumes you to be, and you do not belong with him in such circumstances.

“Yes, it is” Your voice is detached as you force yourself to agree with him, but Jungkook is too enthusiastic to notice your change in demeanor to read in between the lines. “When will you start?” You inquire, hiding the true motive behind your words.

“Tomorrow” He grins, eyes disappearing only to be replaced by smile lines and a pair of bunny teeth that makes your metal ribcage feel warm, even though it’s not and never will be.

  …

  There’s an urgent pounding at the door of Jungkook’s lab the next day, right as he is about to render the machine to undergo the transformation.  

“Who’s that?” He says to no one in particular, thinking that it was maybe Yoongi coming to check up on him.

You stay silent, watching him closely as he walks towards the door. The trepidation sowing within you is beginning to sprout, but all you can do is wait passively.

“Who-“ Jungkook is cut off as the group of men in black suits forcefully barge in unwelcomed. “Hey!” He shouts as they head straight towards you. “What are you-”

“Grab her!” One of them orders as another man behind him walks up to you and binds both of your arms behind your back.

You scream, but Jungkook is quick to react, sprinting over to your side within a matter of seconds and ripping the suited man off of you.

“We need to get out of here!” He urges, intertwining his hand with yours and making a run for it. You follow as he tugs on your arm, running after him as he keeps your hand gipped firmly within his, and you almost wish you could stay like that forever, that nothing else mattered as long as he was with you.

The two of you run outside, and it’s the first time you feel the warm rays of the sun hit your artificial skin directly. It’s so warm and comforting, a sensation supposedly foreign but so familiar because it’s a physical reminder of all the sunlit days you’ve spent with Jungkook in the past, those from the memories he has gifted you, and it prompts you to momentarily forget that you are running from people who are going to take you away and lock you up because that lovely feeling swelling inside of you is melting everything else away. 

“Where are we going?” You shout, keeping your legs moving at the same pace as Jungkook’s.

“The mountains” He replies between raged breaths. “We can hide up there until I figure out a plan.”

You ignore the feeling of guilt that is beginning to nag at you. You hate yourself for putting him through all of this, for continuing to allow him to believe in what the two of you had even though you knew it was wrong. You had known all along. His misjudgment was understandable, but yours wasn't, because your mind was always clear and you’ve always had the power to make things right. You sensed the error in the beginning, and yet you still chose to live in the lie that continues to eat away at Jungkook.  

“Don’t worry, Y/N. Everything will be ok. I won’t let them take you away.” His reassuring words hit you like a bucket of ice water and the faint smile tugging at his lips as he turns to glance at you with glassy doe-eyes is a bloodstained dagger jabbing into your chest cavity. And that’s when you realized how much you truly loved him and how unconditionally grateful you were to receive his love despite the circumstances for why he loved you and how flawed everything was, and in that moment you make a promise to yourself that you will end everything and put him out of his misery.

The trail up the mountain is steep, but Jungkook is strong and determined to make it to the top. You watch the trees fly by as the two of you raced though the forest, the sent of musky wood and wild grasses filling your senses and throwing you back to when you and Jungkook had gone camping for the very first time, how happy he was on that day and how that memory seems to only cause him pain now. The contrast only strengthens your resolve, and it wasn’t long before the two of you reach the clearing on the edge of the cliff.

“How could they have found out?” Jungkook shakes his head, covering his face with his hands as he stops to catch his breath. It was impossible, he never let any of the information he was using leak out, and the only other person he told about you was Yoongi. It couldn’t have been him could it?

“I contacted them through my system.” You mumur softly, causing him to freeze in place and his eyes to lift up, meeting yours with growing misunderstanding.

“What?” It comes out as a muted whisper. “You did what?” He takes a step closer and you take one back. “Y/N, why? Why would you tell them?” He rushes up and grips you by the shoulders, examining your body to see if any discernible malfunctions were obvious and he had just been stupid enough to miss it.

You shake your head, fighting your internal system that was trying to convince you what you did was a mistake because it wasn’t, and you knew deep down that you had to do it. “I can’t sit back and watch you ruin yourself any longer.” There are dry tears where real ones should belong in your eyes, and although they don’t stream down your cheek the way they are supposed to, the invisible substance is still able to convey the excruciating agony that has planted itself in the core of your metallic heart. You lift an arm to caress his warm cheek, moistened by his own freshly produced human tears, and he feels so familiar and so endearing that you almost feel alive like her, the missing source that you could never be, and in that infinitesimal second you’re almost able to persuade yourself that despite not being her, you are still real and you have the power to release Jungkook from his self made prison.

So you step back. 

Further and further, and it takes all the strength you have to not stop.

“Y/N! NO!!!” He’s screaming, but the world is being drowned out by his desperation. He’s rooted in place, unable to move his numb limbs that are starting to give way. “What are you doing!?” He croaks.

You smile at him one last time before taking the last step towards the edge of the cliff.

 “I’m setting you free.”

  …

  “Listen, Jungkook, I know it’s hard.” Yoongi begins, walking over and settling down on the couch of his apartment next to Jungkook. It had been two weeks since your self-destruction, and Jungkook was finally beginning to wake up.

“I keep making errors” Jungkook shakes his head, balling his hands into fists.

“You’ve only made one error thus far.” The younger male looks up, confused. “Turning her into a robot and thinking that was the equivalent of bringing her back.”

“I thought it worked.” Jungkook’s voice is hollow and empty because he’s not even confident in his own statement.

“I know you programmed her to be identical to Y/N, but she wasn’t Y/N.” Yoongi scoots over quietly and places a tender arm around Jungkook’s shoulder, rubbing his arm calmingly. “You put your memories of her into her, but that’s a completely different standpoint of how Y/N perceived you when she was alive.”

“W-what do you mean? They were memories of us. She knew us. She recognized me.” Jungkook stares off into space, eyebrows furrowing, and head throbbing once more.

“There are two halves of a relationship, two different perspectives that make up the whole.” Yoongi explains. “Those two halves are the same story from opposite points of view. I’m sure she sensed it somewhere along the way, and that’s what made her ultimately destroy herself. She must’ve understood the immense amount of pain you were in and used her artificial intelligence to calculate how to save you.”

“So it would’ve worked if I had somehow used Y/N’s memories instead?”

Yoongi shakes his head sadly. “No matter what you could’ve done, that robot could not have been Y/N. There is only one Y/N in this universe, just like there is only one version of each of us.” Yoongi sighs, pausing to come up with an easier way of looking at the concept. “Look, I don’t want to go into all these theories of what makes us who we are, but I’d like to think there’s much more to us than just flesh, blood, atoms, particles, and even memories. Wouldn’t you also like to think that Y/N was much more than what could be described by ordinary things?”

“Yeah, she was breathtaking and unbelievable in so many ways.” 

Jungkook closes his eyes, picturing the last time you smiled at him in the passenger’s seat, how the appearance of your dimples and sparkling eyes made his heart feel so full and warm, like the rays of sunlight that cascade over flowery meadows in the summer and the diamond-like crystals of dazzling snowflakes in the winter. Then his mind drifts over to the you he created with those same memories, the way your artificial features mimicked almost the exact same gesture, making those emotions manifest into tentative form, close enough to feel under the tips of his fingers. And even though it wasn’t the you he had intended to create, he still loved you almost just as much, in almost the exact same way.

“Do you think she loved me?” He asks after a long moment of silence.

 “I’m certain they both did.” Yoongi answers.

...

[knightofameris]

ANYWAYSBSJS (i cant stop thinking abt the minor detail of the mutual pining and driving everyone insane bc of it THATS SO ME IIII- and then semi putting an arm around- hhhhh AND THEN US INTERACTING AAAA we’re so chaotic pls THATS SO US- HDBAJbsshsbsj)

goodmorning!! i hope today treats you well! 💝💕💓 i just took my AP gov midterm exam and it was surprisingly easy? im not confident in the written portion but ITS FINE I HAVE AN A IN THAT CLASS ITS FINE- three exams down,,, five to go HDJSJ-

and yeah i totally get what ur saying about being social!! i miss seeing ppl too,, but im kinda glad? i had a beeeeeg friend group before quarantine and now i barely talk to ppl from school (that friend group was toxic LMAO) but i’m way more confident? like i know how to stand my ground now and be more of who i am rather than a shadow of who i am- idek my brain is on government rn still 🤡🤡 AND AAAAAA take ur time!! i usually study tutorials and look at other ppl’s art and if i see smth i like, i take it and make it my own w a twist!! AND YEAH?? colors are so hard to do!!??!!? my palettes are yikes... if u ever wanna see my art lmk bc i will just link my instagram HAHSBS-

NOOO PLS IM SO TALL >:( i am the tallest person here istg. fear me. i love hugging ppl bc they usually place their chins on my head or on my shoulder and it just makes me :D NDJSJDDK YOU TACKLING SUGA OUT OF NO W H E R E that’s such a funny mental image for me HDJSKDK and no. no u

OOOOO that sounds so interesting?? a natural born leader to me tbh. you could be a producer and help people’s dreams come true!! >:O that sounds to me like it would suit you well tbh,,, a teacher and a producer. :O and im actually taking comp sci this year! i like it,, it’s honestly pretty fun — i just wish my teacher wasn’t so confusing? she’s nice but doesn’t explain v well, i think it would be better to learn from her in person. but w the pharmacy thing i already know i don’t wanna go into that bc i’m struggling a lot w chem already :// and u really thought i had the braincell? im honored but also.. no BDJSNS -🧸

<33333 IM GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT THO ;-; HEHEH i had fun heh

ur so cute, good morning to you too!!! and OOF, I did not take ap gov in hs whoops. I’M GLAD YOU FOUND IT EASY THO. and it’s okay!!! you got this I believe in you <3 

OOO no I totally get that, i’m assuming you’re a senior in high school and this is just based off of my experiences and a lot of others and i’m sure pandemic really nailed it in, but by my junior and senior year in hs that was when I found my more, uh, reliable friends? but I also broke off from my group once I hit college and that’s when you really find the people you can rely on! i have a smol lil group now but it’s all really tight knit and I talk to each person at least like once a week, some more than others but that’s just how the other person works too yk? SO i’m really happy you parted from the toxicity!! don’t need that!!! and i’m glad you’re more confident too!! that’s really good. YOU’LL FIND MORE PEOPLE YOU VIBE WITH AND WORTH YOUR TIME SOON ENOUGH. there will be moments you feel alone and if you do, just remember you got me and the other lovely anons <3 

side note but omg if you are a senior in high school that means when I was a senior, you were a freshman and I was friends with a few back in high school since I was in band and a lot of them latched onto me alsdjflajsdf. i still talk to a few of them here and there and they also reach out to me occasionally so like owo

HNNG i follow a lot of artists on Instagram that i’m like wow, I love that art style and that art style and that art sty- BUT OMG I would love to see your Instagram,,, 

SURE WHATEVER YOU SAY ASDKFHASKDJF. i love it when people place their head on top of mine AHHH. that’s what I do to my shorter friends too and i’m like, wow I understand what it’s like to be tall and to hug people shorter than me. 

DSAJFDASFJ ITS funny cus I feel like I'm so LAZY LMAO. i always describe myself as “ah well if no one else will I guess I will” unless it’s something i’m really passionate about (like i loved band so I went for that section leader position ADSFJAD). but it’s also cus I like fucking around but i’ll get my shit together if I need to aSDFJDASKJF 

OOOO COMP SCI?? is it one of the AP classes? i’m glad that’s becoming more popular across schools,,, i think what saved me when I took CS in high school was just,,, lots of googling. also I guess kinda codeacademy??? 

IT’S OKAY. you’ll fine a way to forge your own path I believe in you!!! 

YOU NEED THE BRAINCELLS THO FOR YOUR TESTS SADLFJASDFJ