#i missed that one <3 yay this is the circles i put myself in yay

[thedolldoctor]

Baby Doll part 2:

I still don’t have all my paint supplies, so I will be showing some of the clothing progress in this post. (If you missed it, part one is up before this)

I started with socks. I didn’t have white knit fabric, so I used an old tank top I had lying around (yay recycling)

I used the bottom half and discarded the top. I folded it in half and cut two rectangles, using the hem as the top of the socks

I sewed down the open sides, turned the sewn edge towards the middle, and pinned, stitched a rounded the toes

I then put them on the doll

Next I had to decide whether to give her bloomers, or a cloth diaper. I chose the latter, as many baby dolls from the era had cloth diapers fastened with large safety pins or straight pins. I chose to incorporate buttons and buttonholes instead to save myself from potentially being stabbed.

I created a pattern based on the dolls measurements (which I forgot to take pictures of, oops)

And cut two of each piece (this is important if you don’t want to hem something that is all curves)

I then sewed all the way around, leaving the crotch area open to turn it right side out, I then turned the pieces and zigzagged around the edges to keep the seams flat and nice looking.

I stitched the pieces together along the crotch seam, and placed buttonholes into the ends of the long back piece. Then I cut open the buttonholes and sewed the buttons to the front piece where the sides overlapped while it was on the doll. This is how it turned out. Not bad.

I then started on the slip, which will go underneath the dress to help it puff out, I also forgot to take pictures of this, so I will try to explain the best I can. I cut four strips of 6” tall 17” long white fabric (all I had was scrap) and sewed two each together to make two long strips of fabric. I hemmed one long edge of both, and sewed 2” wide lace trim to the bottom edges. I then sewed the other edge closed, making two circles of fabric, I put them together along the top, making two layers, and then gathered them to fit the dolls waist. I finished the top with a waistband and put it on the doll. Here it is finished.

The slip reaches about to her finger tips, as the dress will also be that length when finished. That’s all for now. Stay tuned for part 3!

[andsheneverstopstalking]

A Saturday Off

May 6, 2023

I started my day early and excited to go get Rush tickets for Dancing'. One of my dance friends Stephanie said she'd go with me. So on my way out the door I realize I can't take the N or W as there was none. Not knowing about the shuttle buses I marched my self down to the R train, which was a 20 minute walk or 5 minutes till the bus! Woah! I am running on down. keeping my spirits up as I made the bus right not time.

.04 miles. I am so thankful because I just realized I wore my vans.

Miss the train by 5 second maybe, because I didn't get off the right stop.

45 minutes later I find myself in line right before the box office opened upset I was not one of the first people in line. I was delighted to see that there was like maybe 10 people in line and I had hope!

20 minutes later we find ourselves with our $40 rush tickets to see Dancin' at 8 pm, walking on down to brunch in Chelsea.

25 minutes and 1.5 miles. We are putting our names in for a table for two at Citizens of Chelsea and watching Lu's live battles in Spain. My legs hurt but my stomach hurts more.

10 quick minutes later we are sitting at the window- literally facing another table and the outdoors, ordering some food. I ate some bacon today. It was wild.

An hour later we are heading down to 14th street to take Vive's dance class.

3o minutes and 2.2 miles. A class filled with spirals and lightness. I felt weightless in class. I was thankful for New York City and it being my home. We ended class in a circle and I enjoy my clean space in the corners. I'm going to miss taking dance class with Stephanie! Vive's class is such a challenge but it is everything.

1.5 hours - plus 15 minutes buffer after changing - we start walking towards Washington square park for lemonade after Vive switched his mind from coffee ( coffee-less weekend for me. yay) Feet. Are. Super. Aching.

7 minutes later, we see a protest and turn left immediately. Found ourselves at Thai Terminal. A mango mimosa and scallion pancake cubes later and we are out the door heading to the train.

Stephanie and I head to 14th Street Union Square and stumble upon the Cannabis Rally. People getting high and just talking about freeing the people incarcerated for weed. It was busy, smelled good and was a cool & raw experience.

10 minutes later and we are on the train heading home. I was so thankful to find the shuttle that time. Home- Change- Head to the city again.

Ya girl made one mistake. I worn heels.

20 minutes and .8 miles. I walk now down to the R. WHY !? I could have worn flats!!!!! Had I known that after the musical I would have taken the bus the wrong way and walked an additional 20 minutes I WOULD Have WORN FLATS!

1 hour and hundreds of tourists later and we are sittin' 3 row mezzanine on the right side. It was a magnificent show. It was an incredible experience. I am glad I walked all over town today and am glad I am a dancer and my body is able to. I am blessed to be able to take a day off and enjoy it in full leisure.

I love living in New York City. I don't know when I will ever be over it.

[queirdfiction]

Reflecting

This summer marks the year anniversary of my huge-to-me reading slump. For the past several years, I’ve read at a much higher rate than the second half of 2023 and first half of 2024—an average of 7 books per month in the first half of 2023, 8 1/2 books per month in 2022, 11 books per month in 2021, and 7 books per month in 2020. For the past year, I’ve been reading around 3 books a month, if that, including some stretches where I read like a fiend for a week or two (like my week of vacation at the beginning of January, when I read the first 10 Percy Jackson books with an intense hyperfixation, and then immediately failed to finish another book for weeks after I decided, okay, that’s enough Percy Jackson, let’s try reading a different book).

3 books a month isn’t shabby; I know it’s a lot more than a lot of people are able to read. I don’t mean to share the amount I was reading before in order to brag, but to illustrate how, even though 3 books a month is still a good, solid amount of reading, it suddenly felt to me as if I was barely reading at all. I used to read 3-5 books every month just for various book clubs, and now it feels like I barely make it to book club. I like to tag the books I think will be on my favorites of the year list, and the last time I read a book I felt that passionately about was January. How can I go from having to make tough choices just to make a Top 10 list to having one, maybe two books so far this year that I really loved?

I think part of the reason this reading “slump”—perhaps more accurately described as “period of reading a relatively normal amount for a working adult, though comparatively less than the frenetic amount of the past”—is that for a long time, being a big reader was a part of my identity. Horror and weird fiction was my special interest; I read widely, and I talked about it extensively on the internet in places other than this blog (I made this blog about a year ago or so, when I was trying to regain my footing in this interest). Since 2019, I had thrown myself into this interest, and perhaps most importantly, other people with the same interest formed most of my social circle.

And then, first in 2022 and then again with a different incident in 2023, that social circle started fracturing. A lot of friends pulled back, and left the place we had built together, and then in 2023 abuse allegations arose concerning a prominent member. And that’s life; not everyone you meet and befriend will turn out to be a good person, and it’s inevitable that friend groups will break apart and move on with their lives. But for me, I lost all motivation to read or engage, which contrasted sharply with the fact that I had been taking on more responsibilities and didn’t feel able to step back from them since everyone else had already stepped away from theirs.

The loss of a special interest is difficult to describe. @emhahee on TikTok spoke about it at some point with regard to Harry Potter, I think, though I can’t find the video now. I was in a highly depressive state for most of last summer, until around August when I decided to read One Piece. And now, yay, new special interest to add to the mix—! but at the same time, I miss horror and weird fiction. So now I feel like I’m just trying to get back to it, and to reading in general, in a sustainable way. Some way that doesn’t put so many demands on me that I burn out.

To that end, I made myself a reading Bingo board for the summer, to hearken back to the Summer Reading Challenges of yore. I really enjoyed it, and I’m going to do it again for fall—it was nice to have my short term goals listed out, and small rewards on the way. I would like to talk about books a bit on this blog, but not in any really serious capacity; no ARCs or regular posting or anything like that. Just pure yapping.

Will I ever get back to how much I read before? Perhaps, perhaps not. Am I really at peace with the reading “slump”? No, not particularly. But it is time, at least, to move forward.

[onejellyfishplease]

Question:

Are you taking your role as family therapist too seriously when you literally walk away from a heated interaction, make notes, then come back and talk them through an emotionally harrowing talk, during which F*CKING DIVORCE IS BROUGHT UP AND ONE OF YOUR PARENTAL UNITS CRYS MULTIPLE TIMES-

Further context, during the coronation, my dad sat us all down, me, my mom and younger siblings to watch the coronation in its entirety. Naturally my younger brother starts to fidget (ADHA solidarity I get it), loudly (our phones had been taken away in the first 5 mins) and my dad tells him to stop, he does for a bit then moves on to another loud stim. My mom then comes in and -quietly- asks him to stim quietly, he doesn’t

Note- it is unclear to me wether my brother was doing this to be a prick or note, maybe it started off genuine idk.

My dad gets increasingly pissed, and eventually my brother loose electronics (context: he has a bit of a gaming addiction) which sends him into a bit of a strop and that’s the end of that. So it seems.

Later, after the coronation, my brother wants to game on the computer, obviously my dad says no. Then my brother asks again. And again. And again.

My dad had 3 missed called from him after he left the house to run an errand.

Eventually, my dad snaps, and it devolves into yelling. I wasn’t here for this part but I know that it wasn’t fun. My mom was there but she didn’t do much, an observer.

So later, my brother is in the living room, with me, and my parents are in the next room over, arguing. Because my mom thinks that my dad was too harsh.

So after trying to calm down my brother and getting a lot of self pity and insults thrown my way, I make my way into the other room and insert myself into the conversation. It goes… alright?? Pretty badly actually.

The gist of it is that my mom thinks my dad was too tough on my brother, while my dad was saying that he felt isolated and hurt that she wasn’t backing him up. Which my mom didn’t feel like she could do because she did not approve of how he was dealing with the issue.

The convo ended there, because of extended family returning with food for the family dinner. So we collectively put on our *we’re not at all emotionally devastated* faces, which were concerningly good, and went to have dinner.

After which I had written up my interpretation of the events which transpired, I will include them here. No I will not fix the spelling.

Dad is Naturally assertive

Quick to point out problems that go against presumed order

Assumes mum backs him up

Mum takes a more constructive approach, which doesn’t directly acnolage to problem at hand, often talks directly to the person, not dad

Dad feels left out of process without vocal affermation from mum

Dad feels alone as the only one vocally pointing out issues, and is usually the only one pointing out the main issue while mum is trying to fix the issue while being as nice as possible

So dad is viewed as main aggressor and feels like bad guy, so gets louder due to built up frustration

Mum doesn’t know how to insert herself into the situation which is already heated, doesn’t want to match the energy

Mum panics due to decreasing vibes

Mum doesn’t know how to deescalte

Dad doesn’t know how to deescalate

Vibes decrase

Yep. So I talk. They talk honestly it goes well, there is a little bump when my dad talks about ‘if I didn’t care about this family I would’ve left long ago’ which I get isn’t like openly talking about divorce or even remotely suggesting it as an idea. But it’s just that’s the first time one of them has ever brought it up. Ever. Sooooo

Yay

Anyway we go in circles for a bit, but I think I helped fix the miscommunication? I hope? My mum cried quite a bit which is never fun.

Basically my mom didn’t really feel comfortable voicing eing her honest opinion around my dad because he often steamrolls her ideas, and he felt alone because she never really supports his ideas and never speaks up. So the self sabotage was REAL. Like damn. (There is like so much more but this thing is already too long)

Miscommunication is never as fun as they make it seem in books.

Anyway I don’t think I had an original point, this was mostly me just ranting.

I know it’s not healthy for me to feel somewhat responsible for my parents relationship but it’s hard not to do anything when I can so clearly see the cracks and the god awful communication.

[musingsoflys]

A Vent, caregiver fatigue

Lately I've been feeling like I live in a care facility, and I'm the only employee. This is my primary job despite the fact that I'm the one with *the* job that pays the bills and requires me to put time into it, during regular business hours, I can't just do my work whenever. I wish I could. The patients are capable of minimal self care; one gets left out a lot b/c the other two need so much in-person attention, but that attention can't be shared with anyone else at the same time. Clingy. Last night I had to sit in my older child's room, so she could focus on her homework that was due in 2 hours. (3 assignments. It got done. Yay!) Every time I leave her room with an armload of dirty dishes and have to use my foot to pull her door closed behind me, I remember that scene in Disney's Cinderella when she does the same thing, only I'm human and tired of it. In the middle of that, my younger child needed to get things ready for school tomorrow but is apparently constantly on the verge of having a breakdown. The prospect of trying to plan anything for the next day nearly caused her to curl up into a ball like an armadillo. She is very behind on the majority of her schoolwork, and it's only getting worse, which, of course, only adds to the stress. Vicious circle. And my husband is lonely and getting depressed again. He and his therapist keep missing each other or having to reschedule. He finally called his endocrinologist for more T (he's been out for months) and an appointment. Guess when the next available appointment was? March. March 2023. Fortunately he doesn't have to wait that long for meds. Even just now, I'm supposed to be teleworking. I had just sat down to do this little dump when he called me from upstairs to go scratch his back b/c he's in so much pain that he can't sleep. No one knows why he has so much pain; it seems to be nerves. He's got strong pain relievers and has had multiple nerve ablating procedures. I think he should give a pain psychologist a shot. It would make sense to me that, over time, his nervous system has learned this pain behavior and needs to relearn that there's no need for all this pain. There's no life threat. His neck and shoulders are also ridiculously tight; regular, frequent massage and learning how to relax those muscles would be helpful, no doubt. And I'm trying to figure out my personal development/journey (faith, sexuality, re-finding myself, discovering me, discovering god). Lately I've been stagnant. It's so easy to get busy with ... anything: dishes, laundry, TV, Facebook & Instagram. I would like to get out of my church weeknight youth commitment, but the other leaders keep leaving (for extremely valid reasons), but I don't want to put the girls through a sudden complete leadership change. It's hard to keep my foot in the door that way while also feeling rather icky about church as a whole. We have a good congregation, and sometimes I miss it, and it feels awkward being there. Very liminal. That's the word, still, yes. Liminal, like a hallway, not in any of the rooms, not having a place, just hanging out in the hallway. And I'm 50 now. It's very weird. Especially as once again I'm around significantly younger peers (same grade/responsibility level). I'm glad I had my last boss who loved being in her 50s, was proud of it, but it's weird and challenging for me.

[boxofbadaddiction]

A Reason to Smile

Fred Weasley x Reader

This Story is inspired from a request of my Movie Lines Prompt List.

Prompts: 4, 10 & 16

"Let's put a smile on that face."/"Go ahead, make my day."/"Yippee ki yay, Motherfucker."

Warnings: Swearing. Umbridge.

Y/n woke up in a foul mood. With less than 3 hours sleep after having spent the whole night in detention with Umbridge and just can't seem to find a reason to smile. Even the thought of spending the day with her best friends, Fred and George, fills her with somewhat dread.

She doesn't want to see anyone. Do anything. Or go anywhere. Which is totally unideal for a Saturday. If things were to go her way she'd just roll over and stay in bed.

But she's starving so there's just no avoiding the inevitable.

Begrudgingly she pulls herself from her bedsheets and readies for breakfast.

As she arrives in the Great Hall she keeps her eyes trained to the floor, bee-lining for a place far enough away from the other students in her House to simply eat in peace before disappearing back to her dorm for the day.

But of course, with Fred and George as your best friends, how could she have possibly expected that to go to plan?

"Hey, y/n/n!" One of the Twins shout as they made their way over to her House table for breakfast. Their typical peppy demeanour mocked her, as it seemed impossible to draw herself from her current bad mood. Unable to even muster a fake, courteous smile for the sake of conversation.

"What happened to you last night?" spoke George as they sat either side of their dishevelled appearing friend. "Popped out to hand in some homework and we never saw you again. What'd you get lost?" He teased, nudging her shoulder in the process while his brother chuckled at the remark.

"I'm sorry I disappeared but please guys not today. I'm not in the mood."

"Woah, what's with the tone, love? And not in the mood? Please! You're always in the mood for us" Fred goaded pulling y/n into his side by her waist. A guesture which would usually have her leaning into his touch but not today.

She shook herself from his hold with a huff, leaning onto the table she propped her head up by the palm of her hand.

Neither Twin knew how to react, she'd never been so put off by them before. "Y/n...are you okay?" Fred asked sincerely. Both boys were eyeing her concernedly.

Y/n avoided eye contact, staring fixedly at her, now cold, bowl of porridge as she stabbed at it with her spoon. That's when Fred noticed it. The pink discolouration on the back of her hand. His heart dropped at the sight. She'd obviously been with Umbridge last night.

"Y/n-" his voice was firm as he spoke, drawing her and Georges attention immediately, his eyes flicked briefly to hers before focusing solely on the forming scar. "Your hand."

"It's nothing." Y/n straightened herself tucking her hand into her lap with a slight wince as the fabric of her clothes caught the still tender surface of her wound. Her other hand came to grip at its forearm to distract herself from the dull throbbing pain which now coursed through her hand.

"It's not nothing!" Fred snapped harshly, but as a whisper so not to draw too much unwanted attention.

George delicately reached across her lap lifting her injured hand into the light, his own eyes near shaking as they searched desperately between hers and his brothers expressions before inspecting the words she'd been forced to carve into her own flesh all night.

"I will obey the rules" he read the words aloud, the very phrase causing a sick bile to rise in each boys throat.

"I was busted on my way back. She told me I need to 'be more aware of the company I keep' less something like this happen again" y/n mumbled with distaste, her eyes locked determinedly onto the tables edge.

There was a moments silence between the three, all seemingly afraid to speak, before George stood abruptly, storming from the hall. An action which caused y/n to close her eyes tightly, drawing a sharp breath in, attempting to distract from the tightness that'd formed in her chest in knowing the effect her words had on the pair.

She never intended on telling them about the detention. They'd surely blame themselves for her being out past curfew as it was their idea to meet up in the first place. But it's not like she didn't understand the risk of what she was doing when she did it.

They knew those few words all too well. Umbridge had spoken them to her before, countless times by this point.

The first time, the Twins had been pestering y/n in the courtyard when she approached. They were lounged about one of the concrete benches under the courtyards largest tree. Freds head was in Y/ns lap, as she read, poking her cheek in an attempt to gain her full attention whilst George sat on her otherside, all his weight pressing against her as he sighed boredly.

Umbridge had deemed their behaviour 'not school appropriate' and 'not in compliance' with Educational Decree Number 31; as Boys and Girls are not permitted to be within 8 inches of each other.

The Brothers had laughed at her, a poorly timed 'you're kidding' thrown her way as Fred swung his legs off the bench now sitting upright. A few more cheekily placed comments landed the pair in detention for the night.

She highly disapproved of y/ns relationship with the Twins and had no issue voicing the fact and so before parting she'd issued that very same warning to y/n, stating matter-of-factly; "You should be more cautious of the company which you keep. Such a promising young witch, it'd be a shame to see your talents go to waste or future be tarnished for that matter by the carelessness of others whom are less gifted." She'd uttered the words with sharp glares thrown down her nose to the two Weasleys.

From that moment it'd become somewhat of a catch phrase for her everytime the threesome caught her attention.

Y/ns head dropped, mumbling a soft "I'm sorry, Fred."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, love." He rubbed small comforting circles on the lower of her back before pulling her waist as he had done so earlier. Inching closer so their legs were pushed flush together as he rest his chin atop her shoulder nestling into her neck. A touch which, this time, she did not shy away from - rather craning her head back to rest against his.

"I just don't think I'm someone you'll want to be around today." She admitted sadly, "I can't bring myself to enjoy anything."

"Well that just won't do" Fred pulled his head back to look into her eyes with a cheeky knowing expression. But even that wasn't enough to bring a rise to her saddened features. "Come on," he nudged her shoulder, "let's put a smile on that face." He spoke with a smirk.

"Reckon you can?"

"Of course!" Fred nodded with a tone of absolutely certainty.

"Well go ahead, make my day." Y/n challenged, which brought an excited smile to Freds face. He jumped from his place at the table holding an expectant hand out for her to take which she accepted a little hesitantly.

"Should we go find George? See if he's okay?"

"Nah, he'll be fine. Besides, this way I get you all to myself." Fred squeezed her hand a little tighter as he all but dragged his friend from the Hall.

A few hours had past and Fred were still relentlessly determined to make today one of the best days possible for y/n. Surprisingly he'd started off small with a just few well timed jokes and casual strolls around the Castle simply trying to keep her occupied on anything other than those toxic thoughts that kept her from enjoying the day.

As lunch approached he'd upped his game. Grabbing a few snacks from the kitchens and taking her down to her favourite place by the Lake where they spent the time talking together; sharing various stories while Fred told countless jokes to make her laugh and spoke of their newest inventions for the joke shop.

Y/n was sure she hadn't stopped smiling since the moment they'd left the Hall. Fred just had that effect on her but with every small guesture and tender smile thrown her way there was just no stopping the butterflies that erupt in her chest or the warmth that spread to her cheeks from his flirty comments and kind words.

By this point she'd nearly forgotten the whole reason he were so determined to make today so memorable.

But Georges absence and the light stinging in her hand was a nagging little reminder at the back of her mind which stopped her from falling wholly into the moment.

"Alright, Miss." Fred shot up from his place on the grass, dusting his hands on his jeans as he did so. "Onto grander things!" He held his hands out for her to take, pulling her giggling figure from the ground. "What could you possibly have planned now?" "Oh just a little mischief." He grinned as his tongue grazed his bottom lip before threading itself between his teeth, eyeing her closely. Y/ns eyes narrowed at his words untrusting of whatever plan his brain had suddenly cooked up. There were no time to question however as she were promptly being pulled to the Castle as the Sun fell below the horizon.

"You dragged me back to the Castle like a man possessed for dinner!?" Y/n questioned as they entered the Great Hall alongside countless of the other Hogwarts residents.

"Well yes and no. Yes; because you need to have a proper meal today aside from a couple sad mouthfuls of porridge and a dozen sweets. No; because for my next trick we will in fact be needing our beloved Georgie." "Do you think he's okay?" "One way to find out isn't there? OI! George!" Fred pushed through the dawdling individuals in the aisles between the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables, pulling y/n along behind him to where his Twin were currently seated for dinner.

"Hey Georgie" y/n began in a sad tone as she sat beside him. "Are you okay?" She stroked his arm reassuringly as she spoke. "Yeah I'm fine. Sorry I took off this morning I-" "ah-ah!" Fred piped from her otherside, "no morning talk. Look you're ruining all my good work!" He commented pointing to the concerned frown which were now upon y/ns features. "What?" "Dear Freddie here has been spending the day trying to get my mind off things." "Right right...Ginny mentioned something about Fred dragging you around the school all day." "Yes, and until now it'd been working so just...perk up. Which shouldn't be hard once I tell you my plan" Fred rubbed his hands together in anticipation.

"Plan?" "Know that thing we've been dying to try but haven't had the occasion?" he stated vaguely which had concern growing in the pit of y/ns stomach. Concern which only worsened as she watched how Georges features shifted swiftly from one of slight disinterest to immediate excitement. "Really? You wanna do that tonight?" His smile was wicked and a little frightening in y/ns opinion as he questioned his brother who merely hummed in response. "Reckon I can name a few select members of a certain 'club' who would make excellent guinea pigs." Continued George in a whisper over top of y/n "You've read my mind." Fred took a sip from a drink y/n had just poured, for herself mind you.

Y/ns focus was shifting worriedly between the two brothers who sat on her either side sharing an unspoken understanding.

"Stop doing that you're freaking me out!" She snapped which caused the boys to laugh, George mumbling a simple "You're in for a treat" as he turned his attention back to his dinner with a sly grin.

Y/n looked back to Fred hoping for some kind of hint or reassurance but he just smiled, wrapping his arm round her waist and pulling her into his side as he began to eat.

"You really think you're going to get away with this?" Y/ns voice rang throughout the empty corridor. "Only one way to find out" Fred wiggled his eyebrows at her.

The pair were currently hiding around the corner of the 7th floor main corridor. It were past curfew as the Twins plan fell into play.

"Explain to me again what exactly these things are?" Y/n asked as she fiddled with a small cylindrical canister. "Paint bombs." Fred answered excitedly. "Similar to Dungbombs just-" "with paint?" "Pretty much, yeah. You pull this little tab, then you have about 7 seconds before it goes off. This one in particular is my favourite so far." "And whys that?" "You'll see" Fred smiled brightly down at her before the sound of approaching footsteps put an end to their conversation.

George barrelled down the hallway, throwing himself into the pair very much out of breath but with a smile as wide as Fred's had been moments ago.

"All set?" "Yeah. They should be coming through any minute now." The three craned their necks around the walls edge, waiting for their unsuspecting victims. It didnt take long before the sound of several pairs of agitated feet came stomping through the corridor.

Filch followed by a handful of the Inquisitorial Squad were huddled together in shared annoyance by the antics of George which were leading them directly into their trap. Various curses and angry grumbles could only faintly be heard over the distance between them.

"Right" Fred whispered as the three ducked back behind the wall, he gave George and y/n a quick nod before tearing the small tab from it's place. "Yippe Ki Yay, Motherfucker." He spoke dramatically as he stepped out, throwing the Paint Bomb like a grenade towards the befuddled group of Slytherins and accompanying Caretaker.

Quickly shooting himself back behind the wall where all three waited with baited breaths and backs pressed flush to the cold stone wall.

"Not a day goes by that I don't regret showing you Die Hard." Y/n mumbled, a comment which brought a wide smile to Freds face as he looked down to her. A few more seconds past before a loud crack and angry shouts echoed through the Castle.

Y/n looked in amazement to see the Hall covered in multicoloured, sparkling, paint as well as orange and gold confetti. There was something beautiful about it she thought. All the vibrant pinks, blues and purples caught the eye like a giant canvas painting. Aside from the ugly squabbling creature, that had once been the Inquisitorial Squad, at the pieces centre of course.

She was in tears from laughing at the sight when Fred leant down to speak in her ear "whataya think?" "I think it's brilliant!" She smiled up at him, "that's the messiest one we've got." He nodded in the direction of the chaos currently unfolding before them.

The group were slipping over themselves and wiping hands down their faces in disgust over the thick liquid which coated them all, as well as the ceiling and walls.

"It was also the only one." George scowled though clearly very amused. "Worth it though wouldn't you say?" "Absolutely."

Freds eyes turned back to y/n, admiring her laughing figure beside him.

"We'll count that one a success heya, Freddie?" George nudged but his brothers trance was not so easily broken. "Definitely" he smiled not turning away from her.

"Shit!" Y/n exclaimed suddenly. "Yeah, I'd say it's time to go." George stated as he watched the very colourful and very angry group now charging after them.

George took off in a sprint but it weren't till y/n began running, taking a hold of Freds hand as she did so that he fully registered what was going on and started to run too.

Fred and Y/n had ended up in her common room after losing George. Luckily it were late enough that not many people were still hanging about so the two pretty much had the place to themselves. Spending a few more moments just being together and reliving the day by the fire, it weren't till the clock struck 12am that Fred admit he should be getting back to his dormitory. Not that he wanted to but y/n needed to sleep after her restless night prior, he hadn't meant to keep her up this late to begin with.

Pulling her from the couch he walked her to the bottom of her dorm rooms staircase where she stood a couple stairs from the bottom to match his height.

It'd slipped the pairs notice that they were still holding one anothers hand until their joined laughter faltered and the warmth in their palms caused realisation to strike. Fred dropped the hold clearing his throat as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Thank you for today, Freddie." Y/n smiled warmly. "Pretty memorable, aye? Told you I'd get you smiling." He rocked confidently on the balls of his feet. Y/n shook her head slightly as she absent-mindedly stroked his arm. "Don't know what I'd do without you." "Probably nag George" he joked.

"As much as I love Georgie, it wouldn't be the same" Freds eyes studied her face the whole time she spoke. He could feel his heart begin to race inside his chest. If only she knew how much he wished he could hear her say she loved him.

"Goodnight, Freddie" y/n placed a light kiss to his cheek, grip tightening ever-so-slightly on his bicep before turning slowly to leave.

His heart was thundering now. Breaths rapid as his body urges him to speak. To tell her everything.

How he's in love with her and he's sure she feels the same way.

How she's the first thing on his mind of a morning and the last thing at night. How his whole family has been pushing him to just pluck up the courage and ask her out already. How nothing makes him happier than seeing her smile. How he never wanted to go to the Ball as 'just friends'. How he smells her perfume in Amortentia. That the sight of her at breakfast this morning, so down and distraught, broke his heart. How for the last few hours it's taken near all his strength to stop himself kissing her with as much love and passion as he can to show her how much she means to him.

But how do you convey all that to someone who has been your best friend for the past 5 years? No clue. But he has to try and he knows he'll never get this kind of opportunity again.

"Y/n, wait-" he grabs her arm, taking a step towards her he pulls her into his chest. Before he can process it his hand is cupping her cheek and he's kissing her with such intensity y/n can feel the air leave her lungs as she melts into him. Her arms snaking over his body. A hand running itself along his shoulder, fingers entangling themselves in the locks of hair at the base of his neck, whilst the other wraps tightly around his torso.

When they finally break apart Fred's on cloud nine. Nothing had ever felt so good or so right. But at the same time, he's panicking. God, he hopes she truly does feel the same way and he didn't just completely misread everything about their relationship. Their foreheads are pressed together as y/ns lips form a wide smile.

"If you wanted to give me a reason to smile today...you could have just started with that."

[link4eva]

Kiro’s Victory and Defeat Date Translation [CN]

Hi, y’all! I just have a couple notes just before you begin reading. I don’t actually know any Chinese so this translation was done through the power of Google Translate. Also, thanks to @cheesy09 and @keliosyfan​ for looking it over! ありがとう！💛

The translation below contains spoilers for a date that hasn’t been released in the ENG server yet so please don’t look below the cut if you don’t want to be spoiled.

You can read the call that comes with this date here!

Hope you enjoy!~

*Spoilers for future content below!*

On a rare sunny day, I opened all the windows in the house for some fresh air.

The wind gently fluttered the curtains, bringing in a hint of the coolness of spring.

Looking at the two tickets sitting on the table, I walked over and put them in my wallet one by one.

Just recently, Kiro and I learned that an expert street dancer from abroad was coming to Loveland City to have a “strength exchange” in an underground workshop.

The moment our eyes met, Kiro and I smiled in harmony and immediately booked two tickets.

Suddenly, there was a familiar-sounding knock on the door that interrupted my thoughts.

Before the answer was completely formed in my heart, I had already made up my mind.

As soon as I opened the door, a dazzling golden colour appeared before my eyes.

Kiro: Miss Chips!  

The person standing in front of me flashed me a bright and brilliant smile which made me laugh to myself.

MC: Why did you come so early? Didn’t you say that I will see you at night? 

Kiro pouted his lips, pretending to be dissatisfied, and patted my face quickly.

Kiro: Well, that’s a simple question to answer.

Kiro: Of course it was because I missed you. So, I showed up in advance. 

That bright, smiling face made me lose my train of thought for a moment.

Suddenly, his eyes glanced behind me, showing an unexpected expression.

Kiro: But, behind you, Miss Chips….

Before he finished speaking, I seemed to remember something and hurriedly rushed to the living room to put away the game controllers scattered on the floor.

MC: It’s nothing. You didn’t see anything! 

Kiro: I clearly saw everything!

Kiro: The messy living room, the controllers on the floor, and the dark circles under Miss Chips’ eyes….

Kiro pushed up his non-existent glasses with a serious face, analyzing every “clue” in front of him.

Kiro: So, according to my speculation, the truth is that--

Kiro: Miss Chips pulled an all-nighter last night playing games. 

Hearing Kiro figure out the answer, I couldn’t help but whisper to myself.

MC: I didn’t mean to stay up that late but this game was kicking my butt.

Seeing Kiro’s confused face, I sighed and decided to confess the truth.

MC: Actually, last night, I was practising the fighting game we played together last time.

MC: Last time, I hadn’t played much and the experience wasn’t the best.

MC: So, I thought about practicing in secret. I thought it would be a lot more interesting when we played together next time.

Kiro’s eyes were surprised. He stared at the controller on the ground.

Kiro: Practicing by yourself isn’t as effective as playing with another person.

As soon as he stopped talking, he stepped forward, holding my gaze firmly in his.

Kiro: So, let me join in. 

Kiro: My cute and hard-working Miss Chips~ 

[Second Part]

As soon as I brought over the fully charged controller, Kiro sat down on the couch with me in his arms.

MC: Eh, do you want to play like this?

I turned my head to meet Kiro’s eyes but didn’t expect to be held even tighter.

Kiro: Don’t we always play like this? 

Kiro: Is Miss Chips still not used to it?

MC: But we are playing as opponents in this fighting game….

MC: It’s too hard to play this close!

Kiro: Is this too close? 

Kiro: What about this? 

As he asked this, he nuzzled his head lightly into my neck, his face pressed against mine.

When he became even closer, the tips of my ears began to burn uncontrollably.

MC: This is even closer than before!

The next second, he leaned back contentedly on the couch with a satisfied smile, his arms still encircling me.

Kiro: Are you ready?

Kiro: Remember, I don’t show mercy to my subordinates!

After Kiro pressed the start button, the TV entered the countdown phase.

3, 2, 1--

The living room was silent for a bit aside from the sounds of the game from the TV and the mashing of buttons.

Although I couldn’t see Kiro’s expression behind me, his state seemed to match those of the characters on screen.

The perfectly-executed combo and roundhouse kick instantly reduced my health bar by a lot.

I couldn’t help but hold my breath, hold the controller tightly and get more serious.

Although I may be at a disadvantage, probably because of all the practice the past few days, I didn’t panic.

At the same time, the combo moves that I had been waiting to use also swiftly responded at the same time.

Soon, our health bars were equal. The drawn-out battle made me want to win even more.

MC: Look at me!

Kiro: Miss Chips, be careful~ 

Suddenly, Kiro’s character shot up into the sky, a precursor to an even bigger move.

I immediately sounded the alarm in my head and quickly hid the moment his character fell.

Kiro: Nice! 

Although I enjoyed hearing his praise, I didn’t dare take it lightly.

I held my breath and walked towards Kiro’s character, like a cheetah lurking quietly before hunting.

Suddenly, Kiro’s moves finally showed a small opening, and I quickly followed the moves that I had practiced hard over the past few days. 

After triggering a series of critical strikes, his character instantly fell to the ground. A big “WIN” flashed on the screen.

I raised my hands happily but Kiro turned my body to face him and pitched my cheeks lightly. His eyes were full of joy.

MC: Yay!!! 

Kiro: Miss Chips is amazing!

MC: Phew, if it weren’t for all those “make-up classes” every day recently, I’m afraid today would be another miserable defeat~

Kiro: MC’s desire to win is very strong!

MC: So is yours! You are on so many leaderboards for so many games! 

Kiro held his chin pretentiously and blinked. 

Kiro: This can’t be compared with the desire to win!

Kiro: As for me, I was just adhering to the principle of “perfect clearance”. So naturally, I ranked first.

MC: What you said just now….Makes me wonder if you just let me win.

I squinted my eyes and slowly approached him. He waved his hand quickly.

Kiro: I didn’t. If you lose, you lose, but….

Kiro: If I only lose to you, I will be willing. 

He looked straight at me, his blue eyes gleaming.

And in such gleaming eyes, only me is reflected in them at this moment.

I nestled my body in his arms again and shook the controller.

MC: Well, should we play another round?

Kiro: Yeah, let’s play some more before we go out!

I pressed the start button excitedly and we both sat up slightly, looking at the game screen with full concentration.

When night fell, we reluctantly put down our controllers, took the tickets and prepared to go out.

(Cut to the warehouse)

After nearly an hour’s drive, we came to a warehouse in a remote suburb.

I looked back at Kiro, who was already wearing a baseball cap and helped him to lower the brim of his hat with worry.

Kiro: Don’t worry, I won’t be recognized.

Kiro: Let’s go in. 

[Third Part]

Unexpectedly, there are some warehouse buildings outside. But, there is something special when you walk in.

The graffiti all over the wall shows the unique atmosphere here. The young people’s swaying to the rhythm synced perfectly with the beat.

Looking around, dozens of circles surrounded by people are scattered in various places of the warehouse. Cheers and chants also oscillated in it.

Looking around, I saw a passerby who was about to bump into me….

Kiro quickly stretched out his hand in front of me and blocked me. The passerby paused after bumping into Kiro’s arm and then walked past us.

MC: There are a lot of people here, and it seems that the expert street dancer isn’t here yet….

Kiro: Then let’s go to the side and wait for a while, alright?

I nodded and followed him to a place with fewer people.

After sitting for a bit, I didn’t expect to see several young women looking at Kiro.

I was shocked. No one would recognize Kiro, right?

Seeing the gazes of the young women continuously cast towards Kiro, I silently stepped forward and blocked his figure.

While I was thinking about countermeasures quickly, one of the men with dreadlocks had already walked in front of Kiro.

Man with dreadlocks: Hey, buddy. Seeing you up closer, is this your first time coming?

The brim of the hat blocked most of Kiro’s face, his blue eyes were also hidden in the darkness.

The brief silence made the man with dreadlocks frown. He twisted his neck and it cracked.

Man with dreadlocks: There are a lot of people who bought tickets just to have fun here. It’s really unpleasant.

Man with dreadlocks: If I’m wrong, you’re welcome to use your strength to let a few of our brothers have fun.

As the man with dreadlocks said this, his companions quietly surrounded us in a circle.

Just when I thought I was ready to stay silent again, Kiro raised his chin and said,

Kiro: These words don’t sound very inviting. 

I don’t know if he was deliberately concealing his identity but Kiro’s voice was much deeper than usual.

Man with dreadlocks: Oh, I have seen people like you a lot, you are just afraid of losing~

Man with dreadlocks: After all, your girlfriend is watching. Wouldn’t your image in her heart be greatly damaged if you lose?

MC: You….

I couldn’t help but prepare to fight back and Kiro gave out a soft laugh beside me. 

Kiro: It seems you didn’t understand what I said.

Man with dreadlocks: What?

Kiro’s lips raised up to make a shallow arc and slowly walked in front of the man.

Kiro: In this case, I also have my own rules.

Kiro: If you really want to “communicate”, should we place a bet?

The flickering neon lights made Kiro’s face light up. He gave off a dangerous aura.

I don’t know if they noticed Kiro’s faint provocation. The faces of the group of people became a little timid.

Man with dreadlocks: Hmph, that’s crazy!

Before he could finish speaking, one of them leaned close towards his ear while looking at Kiro at the same time.

Man: Brother, why do I feel like the more I look at this person’s face, the more he looks like Kiro?

As soon as he asked, the man with dreadlocks suddenly raised his head and laughed.

Man with dreadlocks: Him? You should go to the hospital to see the eye doctor.

Man: ….

Man with dreadlocks: Besides, even if it is, how strong can a star be? All that praise is for nothing.

Those harsh words kept echoing in my ears. My worries were gradually replaced with anger.

I can’t help but think back to the way Kiro was immersed in practice and creation for countless days and nights. 

The work is polished over and over again. He only wants to show the best side of himself to everyone.

Thinking of this, I took a deep breath and couldn’t help refuting it.

MC: Do you think you can wipe out all their efforts with just one sentence? 

I had been silent this whole time. I couldn’t help but stun the people around me.

MC: They will never be defeated by prejudice.

The man with dreadlocks suddenly laughed and shook his head helplessly.

Man with dreadlocks: Another girl who’s been brainwashed by celebrities….

He wanted to say something more when a cold voice sounded in the air.

Kiro: Enough nonsense.  

I followed the voice and found that Kiro had reached the center of the open space. He raised his chin and ignored the person in front of him.

Kiro: What are you waiting for? 

[Fourth Part]

The rules for the dance battle are simpler than I imagined. There are no restrictions for either party. The people around the scene will be the “judges”, and the side with the louder voices wins the game.

Man with dreadlocks: Brother, it’s not too late to admit defeat, you know?

Kiro shrugged indifferently as if he didn’t care about the mockery of the other party.

Kiro: Before we start, let’s decide on the “trophies” for both sides.

Man with dreadlocks: Raise the stakes all you want, you can’t win anyway.

Kiro: In that case….

Kiro stopped in the middle of speaking as if thinking of some interesting idea. He slightly raised the corners of his mouth.

Kiro: After I get the CALL, you’re gonna have to admit really loudly that you love Kiro so that everyone in the building can hear you. How about it?

The man with dreadlocks was stunned as if he hadn’t expected it. I quickly smirked and asked,

MC: Isn’t that a little much? 

Man with dreadlocks: How can I do that! I don’t know how to CALL. We need to change one thing. 

Kiro ignored his opponent, lowered his head, and leaned towards me.

Kiro: Could I ask Miss Chips to do a demonstration of CALL?

Kiro: It’s also considered cheering for me.

His voice is as soft as a feather, slowly brushing my ears.

My body temperature rose uncontrollably and I blushed as I met his gaze.

There was a little bit of starlight hidden in those blue eyes and the corners of his lips rose slightly to form a little devilish smile.

Kiro winked, my mind trembled, and I nodded subconsciously. 

MC: The friend who doesn’t know how to CALL, let me teach you.

I glanced at the man with dreadlocks, took a deep breath, shaped my hands into a horn, and shouted out loudly.

MC: Kiro, I will love you my whole life! And I will not regret it!!  

My heart beats like a drum with every word.

Those shouts that had been hidden in my heart for a long time had finally poured out at this moment.

This is what I’ve always wanted to do. But, I rarely seem to be able to do it in public….

My voice caused many people to look sideways. I gradually recovered and hid behind Kiro.

Kiro: Thank you, Miss Chips. I can hear you clearly.

Kiro’s words floated past my ears and were soon drowned out by the surrounding music.

The man with dreadlocks walked to the center and made a provocative gesture to the sky to indicate the beginning of the dance battle.

He immediately began to move, and after a series of smooth waves, he drew a lot of voices from the surrounding crowd.

The rhythm became faster and faster and he finally landed on the ground with a somersault, raising his eyebrows at us with disdain.

Kiro glanced disapprovingly and then turned to face me.

Kiro: Look after this hat for me.

Before I could respond, he pulled up his sweater and hat and walked towards the center stage step-by-step, with an unclear look.

The surrounding lights are still flickering and dimming, adding a little mystery to the atmosphere at this moment.

Kiro stood in the middle of the crowd with his head down. He raised his head when the music in the background dropped the bass.

In the next second, Kiro fell straight to one side and just when I thought he was about to lose his center of gravity….

He steadily caught himself with one hand on the ground. He took advantage of the momentum to lift his feet in the air to cross and freeze, his flying necklace also crossing a beautiful parabola.

I couldn’t help holding my breath, my eyes swept across the smooth body lines and messy golden hair subconsciously. 

In the end, I couldn’t look away from those azure blue eyes. They were a very determined pair of eyes.

He, at this moment, is completely different from when I was nestled in his arms that morning, making it hard to concentrate.

Suddenly, the music seemed to make things difficult for Kiro on purpose, and the rhythm suddenly became crazy and rapid.

He didn’t look the slightest bit worried. He followed the variation of the beat to improvise one brilliant move after another.

Every movement is sonorous and powerful but light at the same time. There was no sense of heaviness.

The atmosphere on the scene became more and more intense. The force of the crowd kept pushing me out until I was gradually pushed out altogether.

As I tried to squeeze back in, cheers sounded around me.

I jumped up anxiously, vaguely seeing a familiar pair of arms raised high.

The result of the dance battle seems to be obvious and I can’t help but want to eagerly witness the moment of his victory.

MC: Let me in!

My voice was instantly overwhelmed and there were many voices in my ears that wanted to compete with Kiro.

Just when I was getting a little anxious, someone held my hand tightly and the noise around me stopped instantly.

Kiro: It’s okay to compete with me, one by one.

Kiro: But, my person should have the best viewing position, right?

A cold voice sounded in the crowd. At the same time, my vision gradually widened.

Kiro: Miss Chips, keep looking at me. 

MC: OK!

Even though I was a little shy to be watched by everyone, I stood not far away from him, a warm feeling filling my heart.

People who wanted to compete came up one after another and then slipped away amidst the sounds of the crowd.

Until the end, no one dared to step up, only the undulating admiration remained.

As time passed, the crowd didn’t seem to be as crowded as before. They were quietly spreading out.

Seeing that Kiro’s hair was stuck to his forehead because of sweat, I took out a tissue and wiped it.

MC: Obviously you are a person with a strong desire to win, But this morning, you pretended to be a pig and eat a tiger in front of me.*

*So I had to google this phrase here and it’s an idiom. It’s basically saying that Kiro acted weaker than he actually is in order for his opponent to lower their defense against him.   

Kiro: Because the situation is different.

Although Kiro tried his best to cover it, he was still slightly out of breath.

MC: Different?

Kiro: Well, because in front of MC, I don’t need to strive for perfection in everything.

Kiro: Being with you makes me happy and helps me relax.

Kiro: But just now, everyone was looking at us. I had only one thought at that time.

Kiro looked at me seriously, his eyes brighter than ever.

Kiro: In front of the person I like, I don’t want to lose. 

Kiro: I can’t lose.

As soon as his voice fell, my heart skipped a beat, my hand that was gradually moving stopped.

The sweetness and emotion in my heart were repeatedly intertwined. I looked at him and couldn’t speak for a moment.

Kiro leaned over, his line of sight aimed right towards my lips.

Kiro: Since I won, will I be rewarded by Miss Chips?

Kiro: Such as….

Without waiting for him to finish, I quickly gave him a peck on the lips, blushed and “escaped from the scene”.

Kiro: Wait, just that? Is that it?

Kiro’s voice came from behind. I snickered and continued to run forward.

I didn’t tell him, in fact, that I didn’t care about winning or losing.

Because in my heart, Kiro will always be the best and irreplaceable person.

But seeing him win the game for me, I secretly smiled in my heart and just let him have this moment.

He’s always handsome no matter what. *Phrasing was a little weird here so I hope I interpreted this right lol* 

[End]

[toomanyfandoms02]

Sing For Me // Spencer Reid x Reader

Blurb request for @stinkyelf and @criminalcow ! This one was FUNNNN TO MAKE.

Summary - Reader convinces Spencer to go to a bar with her and jealousy ensues. We have Protective! Spencer.

Word count - 1.5k (ahaha, suppose to be a blurb OOPS)

Prompts - "Touch her again and I'll break your wrist." -- "But I wanna hear you sing!" -- "Wait a second, were you jealous?"

"No, Y/n, please. You know it's not my kind of thing." Spencer dramatically threw his head back as I tugged his sleeve.

"Please?! Everyone wants to go home and I wanna drink! You're not gonna let me go to the bar all by myself? In the pretty dress that I have in my car?" He glared at me a bit, rolling his eyes.

"Are you really convincing me to go with you so no man harasses you?"

"That's exactly what I'm doing. Please?" I furrowed my eyebrows, sticking my lip out and giving him sad eyes. The full puppy dog look.

"Fine! Alright."

"Yay! Thank you Spencey." I skipped towards the exit.

"Please don't call me that." He whined quietly, trailing behind me.

I hopped into the driver's seat, starting it up as he took the passengers. He slid the seat back significantly farther than it's original placement, which practically had his knees up to him in the fetal position.

"Off we go!" I cheered, pulling out of my parking spot.

-

"Beamers?" Spencer's eyes squinted at the neon sign that hung above the wooden doors.

"It's a good bar." My shoulders shrugged. "Okay, turn around." I gestured my finger in a circle. "I'm changing into a dress in my car." He snickered, shaking his head and turning around.

"You know you look fine right?" His arms were crossed against his chest.

"I know. But I don't look bar ready." I unbuttoned the last button on my blouse, letting it fall from my shoulders. The black flowy dress slipped over me and I climbed from the car. "I'm decent." I chuckled. He turned to see me shimmying my tight skirt out from under the dress and throwing it in the back window. His face flushed a bit with the smallest smirk. "What?"

"Nothing." Spencer pushed his hair from his face and turned on his heel towards the bar.

"No no!" My hand grasped the hem of his sweater vest. "You are not wearing the in there. Take it off."

"Come on." He groaned, quickly pulling it over his head and throwing it at my face. "Better?" Spencer now sported a button down with a tie, dress pants and black converse. I reached up and loosened his tie a bit.

"Much better."

The bar smelled of people and Alchohol, to be expected. Spencer's nose scrunched noticeably.

"Let's get us a drink!" Grabbing the cuff of his shirt, I dragged him to the bar. Ignoring his noises of protest the whole way.

"You know someone has to drive right?" The side eye he was giving me told me that he was calling me irresponsible.

"We aren't gonna get drunk, don't worry, just have fun." I slipped the bartender a note.

*Give this stressed ass man the strongest you can give him.*

I was just gonna get *Spencer* drunk.

-

Spencer was about 3 *strong* drinks in, wobbling a bit on the stool he had set himself in not too long ago. His eyelids drooped as he watched people on the small stage doing karaoke.

"You should get up there and do something." I nudged his side lightly, I felt as if a small breeze could knock him from his sitting position.

"Absolutely not!" He half slurred, looking at me like I was crazy.

"But I wanna hear you sing!" The only fluids I had drank at this bar was 2 glasses of water, and I was crystal clear.

I was gonna get that man on the stage.

Maybe it would just take *one* more shot, so I ordered another.

"Y/n, you don't understand." He clumsily pointed his finger at me. "I cannot sing, and I will not sing."

"Well, fine. If you won't sing, you just drink one last shot." I slid the drink towards him. He downed it without hesitation.

-

It takes exactly 4 drinks to get Spencer to sing.

I had convinced him mere moments ago to go up on stage and sing. It still took a few minutes to get him there, but after 4 minutes of bickering, he agreed to do it.

I watched as he leaned to the karaoke machine operator. He must have said some weird ass song because the operator gave him quite the strange look. That's when I heard the music start.

Put Your Head On My Shoulder.

Of course the man would choose a song that come out in 1959, there's no surprise there. The real surprise was his voice.

I had pretty low expectations for 2 reasons.

1. Spencer just didn't seem like the singing type.

2. He was kind of plastered right now.

But as soon as he began I was in a trance. I could not keep the smile off of my face. He started the second verse, coming closer to the edge of the stage, then pointing to me.

"Put your lips next to mine, dear!" He belted, keeping his eyes on me. My eyes shot open wide with raised eyebrows.

*Is this actually happening right now?*

It was quite the scene to watch, and be a part of. The song was nearing the end, just as he was saying the last line, a man wrapped his arm around my waist. I was looking at Spencer long enough before the strange man to see he had an angry look smeared onto his features.

"Do you need something?" I inquired, attempting to peel his arm from my hips.

"Is that your boyfriend up there? Or do you make goo goo eyes at everyone like that." I glared into his ice blue eyes, proving him wrong. "I would love for you to look at me like that baby." His grip around my hip tightened.

"Can you fuck off?" I pushed at him but he was relentless. But that didn't matter as he was jerked away from me.

"Touch her again, and I'll break your wrist." Spencer was looking a lot more sober than he was before. I could see the fire burning behind his eyes, I hadn't seen him so angry before.

"What are you gonna do about it twig?" It was no doubt that the harassing man was larger then Spencer, and I wasn't about to let him get hurt. I grabbed the mans arm, swinging him around and slapping him in the face, then quickly bringing my shin to his privates. He collapsed onto the ground with a small cry.

My hand intertwined with Spencer's to drag him from the bar and to my car.

He sat down with a huff and a cross of his arms in the passengers seat.

"What a fucking douchebag!" Spencer flailed his arms wildly. I hadn't heard him speak so fouly before.

"It's okay, I'm alright."

"He shouldn't have touched you at all! Don't any men have decency? I hated seeing his arm around you. I've never gone from so drunk to so sober before." He sunk into my leather seats, looking grumpier.

"Wait a second, were you jealous?" His head whipped my way, not saying anything. His mouth opened and closed but nothing came out, he looked like a fish out of water.

"Maybe." I didn't think it was *possible* for him to sink even further into the seat. But he did.

"Is that why you sang that song?" I leaned closer to him.

"I don't know why I did that." He grumbled, placing his palms over his face. "It was a bad decision. A pretty bad way to confess that you like someone, when your drunk." His head shook back and forth under his hands.

"I thought it was romantic." My shoulders shrugged. "And you have an amazing voice, where did that come from?" He stared at me incredulously.

"You thought it was romantic?"

"Well yeah. Did you *not* see how I was looking at you on that stage? If that guy wouldn't have started dumb shit I probably would have kissed you right when you came down the stairs." I chuckled nervously.

"Can you kiss me now?" He looked pained in the face, clearly afraid I would reject him.

"This is sober you talking right? Not drunk incoherent you?"

"Totally sober and coherent. I've wanted to kiss you while coherant many times." He looked away, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "That sounded-"

I rolled my eyes and grabbed his tie, turning him towards me and smashing our lips together. He reciprocated immediately, pushing himself over the center console as much as he could. We pulled apart and set our foreheads against eachother.

"Put your lips next to mine, dear." He sang.

"Hold me in your arms, baby." I sang back, grabbing the back of his neck and kissing his nose. "Aren't you glad you came to the bar now?"

"I wouldn't have missed it anyway, especially with you."

[gwentoryfics]

Hot for Teacher, Part 10.

GENRE | College Student x College Professor Smut AU

PAIRING | Reader x Hongseok x Hyunggu (Kino) x Wooseok

WORDS | 11.3k

SUMMARY | You never realized how much one drunken night could color the rest of your college experience until you discover that the handsome stranger from your cousin’s wedding is also the new professor at your university.

WARNINGS | Swearing. Phone sex. Video sex. Masturbation (male and female). Pillow humping.

PARTS | 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 5.5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 • 10 • More Coming Soon

NOTE | The smut MAY have gotten a little out of hand this time... NO REGERTS. Also sorry that it took me so long to finally finish & post this. Anxiety, depression, and long work weeks really suck.

TAGS | @astralsweetness, @bearboyunho, @day6grams, @heyheydee7, @hhhongseok, @honeyutoda, @kkxn0, @precious-seungwooya, @seraplantery, @smilechannie​, @the-deviant-world, @yeosang-ponytail​

“Jinho?”

You’re completely frozen in place as you stare at your brother, as bright eyed as he’s ever been, standing just across the lobby. He stands on his tiptoes to wave as people pass between you both, and then he’s walking towards you.

Jinho, your big brother, is here. He’s right here.

You finally break out of your shock, vision growing blurry with tears as you rush towards him, abandoning your grip on your suitcase as soon as he pulls you into a hug.

“_____, I missed you!” Jinho squeezes you tightly, and you notice his body is much more solid than it used to be.

“Jinho…” You weakly whimper his name as the tears begin to fall, still in utter disbelief that after so long you finally get the chance to see him again. You haven’t heard a word from him since the day he disappeared. 

“Come on, _____, don’t cry.” He pats your back but doesn’t make any attempt to let you go. 

Even with your arms securely wrapped around him, you still can't comprehend the fact that he's here and he's alive and he's here.

Jinho waits until you finally release him, giving you all the time you need to hold him close. He gives you the warmest smile, and as much as it soothes you, it also makes you suddenly, incredibly angry.

"Where did you go?" You ask, frustration thick in your voice. "Why did you leave? Why haven't I heard anything from you?"

Jinho's smile fades, but he seems understanding of your pain. "Let's talk about it in the car, okay?"

You nod, overwhelmed by all of the emotions flooding you. Jinho grabs the handle of your bag and leads you out into the parking lot. You tightly grasp the sleeve of his coat as you walk together, afraid that he could slip away from you at any moment.

Once you’re finally on the road and headed home, he speaks up. “You know how mom and dad wanted you to be a secretary? Or a housewife? They’ve been telling you basically since you could walk that they already decided what you should do with your life and that their plan was the best plan. Right?”

You hum quietly in agreement. They had always been vocal about what they wanted for you.

“They did that to me, too, I’m sure you remember.”

“Yeah, I lost count of the number of times I heard them telling family and neighbors about how you were going to take over the farm one day.”

“It’s suffocating. It felt like I had no control over my life, like I couldn’t actually do what I wanted to do.”

“What did you want to do?”

Jinho sighs, shifting in his seat as you coast down the street, headed for the country. “I didn’t really know what I wanted to do. I still don’t. All I knew was that I wanted to make my own decision. So I joined the Army.”

Your eyes widen and you sit up a little straighter, surprised. “What?”

Jinho lets out a short laugh at your response. “Yeah, it just seemed like the right way to go. I didn’t have a plan for university or for a career, so I thought joining the Army would let me get away from home for a while, let me meet some new people.”

“Jinho, how does that make any sense? You left home because you had no freedom, so you joined the Army, where you also have no freedom?”

“I never said it was a good idea, or even the right one. But it’s the choice I made. I got to make that decision,” Jinho responds bitterly. A little softer, he says, “I didn’t have the balls you have to uproot your whole life in pursuit of a passion, to tell mom and dad that you won’t do as they say. So I just had to leave, had to disappear.”

You chew on your lip, processing everything he’s shared with you, but one question remains: “Why did you have to abandon me, too?”

“It felt like the only way. It felt like I needed full separation from my life here, and you were unfortunately part of that. I feel awful about it and I never should have removed myself from your life like that. You’re my little sister,” He looks over at you fondly, but it’s bittersweet. “And I’m your big brother. I’m supposed to be there for you but I was selfish and left you to fend for yourself. I am so, so sorry for that.”

You hate to admit it, but you understand where he’s coming from. It makes sense. You just hate that it made you feel so shitty and like you didn’t mean anything to him. But you’ve always loved your big brother, and honestly you’re so happy to have him back that it’s feeling more and more difficult to continue being upset with him. Still, you put on a pout. “Maybe if you buy me some ice cream before we get home, I’ll think about forgiving you.”

“You’ve got it. One large chocolate cone for my favorite baby sister, comin’ right up.” He heartily agrees to it, and you smile.

“How long are you home for?”

“It’s indefinite. I’m done with the Army.”

“Really? What are you going to do now?”

Jinho laughs. “No idea. But that’s kind of freeing. Like I can just decide to do anything now.”

“That’s true,” you laugh with him. “And no matter what you end up choosing, I’m proud of you for figuring it out your own way.”

With a fond smile, he says, “Thanks, _____. And I’m proud of you for following your heart and doing what you love, despite whatever bullshit mom and dad try to shove down our throats.”

Oh, if only he knew just how much you’ve been following your heart… But you’re not ready to tell him all of that right now, if at all. The two of you used to be really close growing up, but him leaving obviously drove a pretty big wedge between you. It doesn’t feel right to tell him exactly what you’ve been up to at school.

Besides, it feels really nice to just let yourself get away from the drama, to just relax in the car with your brother on your way home, with the promise of ice cream in the very near future. You want to enjoy this just a little while longer before you’re forced back into contemplating your predicament.

All of the boys in your life can wait. The only one that matters right now is Jinho.

When you finally pull into the driveway, it feels like a weight lifts up off of your shoulders. It’s so good to be home; you love the excitement of the city, but there’s something so peaceful about the small farm town where you grew up.

Your parents are both thrilled to have you home, of course, and the four of you stay up a little too late just to enjoy being a full family again. Regardless of the circumstances of Jinho’s disappearance, it doesn’t seem like your parents are holding any grudges. You’re really thankful for that.

The next day, the Thanksgiving festivities kick off with a trip to your grandparents’ house where your dad’s large family crowds around the tables in the living room, dining room, and kitchen. The food is incredible, the relatives are loud, and everything just feels right… Although you can’t help but be excited about moving on to the next house for dinner.

After a few hours of eating and visiting with your relatives, your family piles back into the car and heads to your mom’s brother’s place--more specifically, Minseo’s childhood home.

As expected, Minseo tackles you as soon as you walk in the door, smothering you with a hug and squealing about how much she missed you.

You squeeze her as tight as you can, twirling in circles with her in your arms. “I missed you too! We have so much to catch up on!”

“Oh my God, you have no idea.” Minseo puts her mouth right up against your ear and whispers, “I’ve got a boyfriend.”

“What?” You practically squeak, partially from the surprise of her announcement and partially from the tickle of her breath. You release her from the hug and grip her arms. “Who? Since when? What happened?”

“I can’t get into it now because the whole family’s here and honestly my parents are not thrilled that I’ve even been hanging out with this guy. But what do you think about a good old fashioned sleepover at your place tonight?”

“Of course!” You nod excitedly. 

“Yay! Okay cool.” She plants a kiss on your cheek and gives you one last hug. “I’m gonna go say hi to Jinho, since I haven’t seen him yet since he’s been back.”

You remember that she was supposed to pick you up from the train station. “When did you find out that he was home? I can’t even begin to tell you how shocked I was to see him at the train station instead of you.”

“Only a few days before you got here. He got my number from your mom and asked if he could pick you up instead. I told him yes, of course, but only if he bought me ice cream to make up for the fact that he was keeping you away from me for an additional day. I still need to cash in on that.”

With a giggle, you admit, “I made him buy me ice cream too, as an apology for disappearing in the first place.” 

“What else is he good for if he isn’t supplying us with snacks?” Minseo laughs heartily. “Anyway, I love you, and I’m excited to chat more tonight.”

“Love you, too.” You give her a smile as she walks off to greet your brother.

More family members arrive, and eventually you all get settled for dinner. The food is delicious, as it always is, and you mingle with some of your aunts after the meal.

As you scan your eyes across the living room, you catch Jiyoo's gaze for what must be the fifth time already. Honestly, you're starting to wonder why she hasn't just come over to say hello yet. You excuse yourself from the conversation your aunts are having, which you weren't really a part of anyway, and slip through the room to finally greet your cousin.

"Hey, Jiyoo!" You walk right up and give her a hug. "How's the married life?"

She lightly hugs you back, but she seems a little stiff. "Oh, you know, it's going well. Hey, um, can I talk to you for a sec?"

You let go, immediately sensing that something must be wrong by the way she just dismisses . "Yeah, of course. What is it?"

"Maybe let's…" She nods her head towards the back door. "Maybe some fresh air?"

"Sure, okay." You agree, deciding to just follow her lead on this one.

The cold night air instantly hits you as soon as you step foot outside, but it's actually kind of refreshing. The house was getting a little stuffy because of all of your relatives, anyway.

Jiyoo takes a seat in one of the lawn chairs sitting out there and gestures for you to sit in the one next to her. You oblige. "Is everything okay?"

She finally confronts you, asking, “Did you really sleep with Hongseok?”

Panic strikes deep into the core of your bones. How could she know? “Sorry, what?”

“He told Hwitaek and I overheard and I just… I thought we should talk about it.”

“He? He told… Hwitaek?” You’re absolutely flabbergasted. Why would he do that? Was he just bothered by the way you ran out and needed to talk to a friend? That wouldn’t be entirely unfair of him, but you had both agreed to keep it a secret originally and you assumed that still rang true for your most recent tryst.

“Hey, it’s okay, just… just be honest. If he’s just talking shit about you, you can let me know and I’ll set the record straight.” Jiyoo searches your face for a sign of the truth, concern lining her delicate features.

You try to swallow the lump that’s formed in your throat. This is certainly not something you wanted to tackle tonight, but you suppose you don’t have much choice if she already knows about it. “...And if he’s telling the truth?”

Jiyoo’s lips press into a thin line. “Then I guess I just need to accept that my baby cousin isn’t that much of a baby anymore.”

With a frown, you apologize. “I’m really sorry… I know it was a bad idea but I just…”

“You couldn’t help it. I get it.” Jiyoo lets out a deep sigh. “Honestly, that’s how I was when I met Hwitaek.”

You look to her expectantly. “I’ve never actually heard the story.”

Jiyoo hums and crosses her legs, settling back into her chair. “We were both bio chem majors, so I saw him around quite a lot. He has sort of a distinct face, one that’s really memorable. And he used to always wear these big headphones everywhere he went. I always wondered what he would listen to.” She smiles as she fondly reminisces. “I used to work at the computer lab in the science building part-time, and one day he passed by. And just as I turned around in my chair to tell my coworker about the cute Headphones Guy, he walked right up to the desk.”

You smile, enraptured by her storytelling. “Did he ask you out?”

“Don’t rush the story!” Jiyoo chides. “No, that’s actually not why he came back. He asked me if I knew what time the building closed, and I said I wasn’t sure. And then he gave me this weird look and laughed, saying, ‘What do you mean? You work here. How do you not know what time the building closes?’ I felt like an idiot, but I just told him that I knew when the lab closed, but that I didn’t know if the building closed at the same time. I didn’t think it was that crazy, but he did, apparently.”

“Wow, that’s very romantic,” you sarcastically comment with a chuckle.

“Yeah, it might not have been a great start, but the thing is, he stayed right there at my desk and talked to me for an hour and a half until my shift was over. And then he walked me to my dorm building. And then he came upstairs, and I’m sure you can guess where this is headed.” She smiles at you deviously.

With a laugh, you respond, “Really? You gave it up that quickly? I wouldn’t have expected that from you.”

“_____, you’ve seen him. I took one look at him and I was enamored. Add his dorky personality on top of that and I was practically telling him I loved him that night.” Even in the darkness of the backyard, you’re positive that she’s blushing. “And now look at us. He’s the love of my life and I wouldn’t give him up for the world. So all of this to say, I absolutely understand how there are certain people that you just can’t resist.”

You just nod. “It’s definitely difficult.”

“So how have you been handling the semester?”

“I mean, I tried to keep things between us as normal as possible but obviously that didn’t really work out, as you’re apparently aware,” you laugh. But when you look over at her, she just looks at you quizzically.

“What do you mean?”

And that’s when it dawns on you that this whole time she’s just been talking about your original hookup with Hongseok. She doesn’t know about the one that happened literally two nights ago. “Oh! Oh… oh no.”

You can’t cover for yourself in time. Jiyoo’s eyes grow wide and her mouth hangs open as she realizes exactly where the misunderstanding came from. “Did you sleep with him again?”

“I thought that’s what you were talking about!”

“_____!” Even though Jiyoo is shocked, she keeps her volume low, well aware that the entire rest of your family is packed inside. “He’s your professor!”

“You think I don’t know that?” Frustration blossoms in your chest. “And what about everything you just said? I thought you understood!”

“This is different! It’s one thing to be swept off your feet by a handsome stranger, and it’s entirely another to screw your professor!”

“Are you seriously mad about this right now?”

Jiyoo just shakes her head in disbelief. “_____… What have you done?” She falls silent, and somehow that is the worst thing that you could have received from her. She takes a deep breath and then instructs you to stay put as she disappears inside. When she returns a few moments later, Hwitaek and Minseo are in tow.

She literally brought in recruits. You immediately throw up your walls, feeling the need to defend yourself. “What’s this all about?”

Jiyoo looks at you like the concerned mother hen that she’s always been whenever you’re involved. “I think we all need to talk about how you’re handling yourself.”

Minseo’s brow furrows with confusion as she looks to Jiyoo. “What happened?”

“She slept with Hongseok again.”

Both Hwitaek and Minseo are visibly shocked by the news, but more importantly, you’re shocked by the gall that Jiyoo has to spread your personal life around like that.

Minseo’s expression melts to something that looks kind of like sadness. Before she can say anything to you, though, you shoot daggers at Jiyoo. “Why don’t we all just quit being such a gossipy family and instead just mind our own business?”

“_____-” Jiyoo tries to reach out to you, but you turn and storm off, heading towards the barn just to get a second away from everyone so that you can breathe.

You slip inside the large barn, slowing your pace as you walk past the tractors and other equipment stored there. You head directly to the back of the barn and plop down onto the floor. 

There’s something weirdly comforting about being in the barn. It reminds you of growing up, back when things were a little more simple. Your life working on the family farm hadn’t been particularly easy--it’s very challenging work--but at least back then you didn’t make such shitty decisions for how to live your life.

You barely get more than a minute of solitude before the barn door creaks open, and Hwitaek pops his head in. “_____?” He looks around for a second before he spots you. “Can I come in?”

“You’re not here to lecture me, are you?”

“Not going to lecture you. I promise.”

You chew your bottom lip. “Come in.”

Hwitaek closes the door behind him and makes the long walk over to where you’re seated. He joins you on the floor, and sits quietly for longer than you expected. Maybe he just doesn’t really know what to say. It’s not like the two of you have ever spent time together before. You chatted for, like, a second at the wedding, and that’s it.

Eventually he gets some words together. “I’m not going to apologize because it’s not my place to, but I’m sure you know that Jiyoo likes to make everything her business.”

“Not sure if you’ve seen any trends yet, but that’s kind of just how our family is.”

“I’ve noticed.” He chuckles. “Minseo has been spending a lot of time at our place recently and oh my God those two never run out of tea to spill.”

You have to laugh too because you know how true that is. “Yeah, they can be a lot. I’m sure it’s at least partially a small-town mindset. Everyone here is always in everyone else’s business and I’m just kind of over it. That’s half the reason why I wanted to get away and go to university.”

Hwitaek nods. “I can understand that. I’ve never lived in any major cities but it definitely seems like a change of pace compared to here.”

“It is. But I like it.”

Another silence falls between you, and you absentmindedly fiddle with your shoelaces as the cold starts to set in. It’s a bit awkward, but you just stew in it until he speaks up again.

Eventually he says, “Hongseok has talked to me about you. I know it’s not any of my business though so we don’t have to talk about him if you don’t want to.”

“Jiyoo said he told you about… the wedding.”

“He did. And he told me how hard it has been to be around you. It sounds like he’s really been struggling with everything he’s feeling, and I shouldn’t be surprised that he caved. I even told him not to act on his impulses because clearly that introduces a lot of risk into the situation, and I didn’t think that was a good idea. He’s usually so disciplined…”

“It’s kind of my fault,” you confess. “I have zero self discipline and I just couldn’t keep myself under control.”

“Well regardless of who takes the blame, I do trust Hongseok with my life and I think he’s got a good head on his shoulders. It’s not my job to tell you two what you should or shouldn’t do, so I’m going to take a step back. He certainly doesn’t have any ulterior motives, so I don’t think it’s truly that concerning that you’re student and teacher.” He shoots you a side eye. “As long as you’re not planning to blackmail him or anything.”

You just shake your head. “I’m not like that. What happened between us has absolutely nothing to do with me wanting some sort of personal gain or anything. It’s just… he’s just attractive, that’s all.” You feel your face heat up. It feels weird to say that to Hongseok’s best friend.

“He really is. And he’s charming, too. I get why anyone would fall for him.”

You laugh awkwardly. “Who said I was falling for him?”

“Feel free to tell me you’re not, if that’s the case.” Hwitaek looks over at you, one eyebrow raised inquisitively.

You frown. You know you’re definitely attracted to him, and you enjoyed spending time with him at the exhibit, but do you have any feelings? It’s hard to tell because of the way things ended. “I don’t know. I think we just need to talk when I get back. I kind of ran away last time I saw him so there’s a lot that’s unresolved.”

“Just be honest with him when you talk, and that’ll encourage him to open up, too. There’s no point in trying to have a discussion with him if he feels like he has to watch everything he says.”

“Yeah, I think some honesty would probably be good for us.”

“No matter what you two decide about where to go from here, it’s up to you two. Just know that there might be consequences, so be careful. And I’ll do my best to keep Jiyoo out of it.”

“Thanks, Hwitaek.” You give him a small smile. “I appreciate your support.”

“Of course. He’s my best friend and I want him to be happy. It’s risky, but I get it.” Hwitaek stands and holds out a hand to help you up. “Let’s head back now. It’s freezing out here and I’m dying to dig into that pumpkin pie.”

You and Minseo sit silently on the old couch in your basement, munching on gummy candies and popcorn as an old movie plays on the TV. It’s not one that either one of you is particularly enthusiastic about, but it’s just one of the many DVDs tucked into the entertainment center the TV stands on. 

She’s been more quiet than usual since she came back to your house with you after the family dinner had ended, and you’re positive that it has to be because of the sudden announcement of your affair with Hongseok. You’ve been dying to bring it up with her, but you had to wait until Jinho finally went to bed so the two of you could be alone. 

Now that he’s gone, it’s time for you to talk.

You’re not really sure where to start, so you just ask, “Are you mad at me?”

Minseo sighs. “We always tell each other everything. Why didn’t you tell me about Hongseok? Why did you tell Jiyoo first?”

“I was going to tell you, I swear. I was planning on telling you about it tonight. Jiyoo just accidentally figured it out first because I’m a dumbass and misunderstood what she was talking about.” You lie down across the couch, resting your head in Minseo’s lap. “I’m sorry that you didn’t get to hear about it from me first but I promise I wasn’t trying to hide anything from you. I was just saving it for a better time, kind of like how you didn’t want to talk about your boyfriend when we were at your parents’ house.”

Minseo rakes her fingers through your hair, and you close your eyes, pleased. “I get it. I’m sorry for being grumpy about it.”

“It’s okay. We all get grumpy. Do you want to hear about it now?”

“Duh,” she laughs. “I want every single detail. Spill.”

So you tell her everything. How he gave you the private tour of his exhibit, how you essentially invited yourself over to his apartment, how he made it pretty clear that he didn’t really want you to leave until he had his way with you. How you ran like the wind out of his apartment the next morning. And you even tell her about your trysts with Wooseok, and the fact that you’re supposed to be mulling over whether you want to date Kino when you get back to the city. And as you expect, she’s incredibly invested and interested in every single morsel of information you share with her.

“You’re really out there living your best life, huh?” She comments when you finally finish your stories. “What an exciting mess you’ve created.”

“It’s great, right?” By this point you’re seated upright again, and you lean heavily against the back of the couch, letting your head fall back against it. “I don’t know what I’m going to do about any of it.”

Minseo shrugs. “Just do what you’ve always done: follow your heart.”

“It’s so much more complicated than that, though.” You respond with a frown. “I can’t just do whatever I want anymore.”

“Well but you can. To an extent, at least. It’s your life, after all. And it’s up to you to make sure that you’re living in a way that makes you happy. It sounds like you enjoy spending time with all of the guys you’ve been around, but now you’re too stressed by the circumstances to keep enjoying it. Obviously hooking up with multiple guys and ignoring romantic feelings isn’t the answer anymore.”

“And my heart will tell me what to do now?”

“It’s a starting point. Take me and Hyojong, for instance. My parents don’t like him, but I do. He’s what makes me happy. So screw what other people think. Don’t worry about our family. Don’t worry about your friends back at school. This is totally your choice, and you get to decide what you want to do. If you’re just living your life based off of what other people want or expect from you, then you’re bound to have regrets.”

You have to admit that she’s right. You only get one life, and you’re the only one that gets to run it. So you can’t let yourself worry about what other people will think if you decide you’re interested in anything romantic with Hongseok, or Kino, or Wooseok… or how the three of them might feel if you choose not to pursue anything romantic with anyone. You have to choose for you. 

“I have to choose for me.” You nod. “This is my life and who cares what other people think?”

“Exactly! That’s the spirit.” Minseo smiles broadly. “You’ll figure it out. And whatever is right is what will happen.”

You return her smile, and refocus the conversation on Minseo. “So Hyojong? That’s your boy?”

Giddy, she nods excitedly. “Yeah. We’ve only been together for a few weeks, but _____, he is absolutely wonderful.” She pulls out her cell phone and shows you a photo of the two of them picking apples. You immediately recognize his heavy-lidded gaze and long hair.

“Really? The bartender from the wedding? Girl!” You nudge her playfully. “I knew you thought he was cute but I didn’t know that you were, like, into him into him.”

“I didn’t know either! But I’ve been spending a lot of time with Jiyoo and Hwitaek recently and Jiyoo kind of set us up, and he’s so weird and funny and cool. He’s perfect for me.”

A warm smile touches your lips. “I’m so happy for you, Minseo. That’s exactly the kind of love you deserve.”

“Thanks,” she nearly blushes. “Now we’ve just gotta get you on the same train.”

“I’ll let you know as soon as I get it figured out.” As your conversation comes to a close, you look back to the TV. “Can we please watch something else? I’m so over this movie.”

“Oh my God, I thought you’d never ask,” Minseo laughs. “Yes, please.”

Late Friday night, you find yourself digging through your closet in search of the sheet music you know you have for “Rhapsody in Blue”. You meant to bring it with you this year but you forgot about it when you made the move back up to your dorm. You’re certain it must be in here, but you keep getting distracted by old photo albums and yearbooks and all of the other nostalgia packed into the shelves of your closet.

One of the items that catches your attention is the keepsake box that your mother put together for you. It started out as a place for you to store all of the cards you got for your birthday or holidays, but you added other random items to the box like the friendship keychain Minseo made for you when you were younger, or the small piece of wood you found that broke off of the dance floor during your school’s prom.

Inevitably, whenever you revisit the keepsake box, you find something in there that you had forgotten about. This time is no different.

When you open the small box, your eyes immediately land on the dried up flowers sitting at the very top: Hongseok’s boutonniere.

You completely forgot that you decided to keep it--your night with him was just a pleasant memory by the time you departed for school. When you had put the flowers in this box, you had no idea just how much of a story would grow.

You pick up the small bundle of withered blooms, running a finger over the dried petals until you realize something that you should have noticed before--now that the flowers have shrunk, you can very easily see the piece of paper that’s tucked in the middle of the bunch.

Gently, you pick out the paper, the dramatic beating of your heart picking up rapidly. Did he leave you a note when he gave you the boutonniere? What secret message could he have snuck to you?

As you unfold the small note, you realize he didn’t leave you a message--he left you his phone number.

Ten digits, his name, and a stupid winky face.

Part of you wants to crumple it up and throw it out the window. Rid yourself of it forever so you can stop thinking about him all the goddamn time. 

But another (and unfortunately much stronger) part of you tells yourself that this is special. This means that you were never just a random hookup to him. Well, maybe it was random, but the phone number at least implies that he wanted to see you again.

Hongseok quite literally asked you to reach out. He gave you everything you needed to establish a connection with him. 

What would have happened if you had called? Would he have wanted to take you out on a date? Would he have asked you to get all dolled up again, just like you did that night, just so he could ruin you? 

And more importantly… what would he do if you call him now?

There’s so much that was left unsaid between you and him after you ran out. You have a million questions. And for some reason, you’re feeling stupidly brave right now. (You blame it on the dumb winky face.)

You jump onto your bed and grab your phone, your hands shaking as you pull up the dialpad. Are you really about to do this?

You punch in his number.

You press the damn green button.

You hold the phone up to your ear, pulse racing at the sound of the ringing.

And then he answers.

“Hello?” His voice alone sends something terribly wonderful shooting through your veins.

“Hi.” You answer simply, not really sure what to say.

Hongseok pauses for a moment, and then he says, “Sorry, who is this?”

Idiot. He doesn’t have your number. “Oh, right, um, it’s me. _____.” 

He pauses for a longer moment, and you worry he might hang up on you altogether. 

“Um, so I’m home right now for Thanksgiving, and I… I found the flowers. And your number.”

“I’m not sure this is appropriate.”

A bitter frown reaches your lips at his response. “Really? That’s all you have to say?”

“Well what do you want me to say, _____? What am I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know!” You’re starting to feel exasperated, but you remind yourself that your rushed exit could be the cause of his attitude. More calmly, you say, “I’m sorry that I left like that. I just panicked and I had to get out of there. I’ve felt so confused about everything.”

“I suppose I can’t blame you for that.” Hongseok sighs gently. “We sure have made things confusing, haven’t we?”

You nod, and then realize he can’t see the gesture. “Yeah. We really have.”

“Can you give me a minute? Just stay on the line.”

You hum in acknowledgement and the call goes completely silent. Your pulse is through the roof, equal parts excited to be speaking with him over the phone and fatally nervous to be speaking with him over the phone.

After a little while, his voice is back. “Still there?”

“I am.”

“Thank you for not leaving this time.”

You let out a small laugh to accompany your eye roll. “Was that all a test?”

“Not exactly.” Hongseok chuckles in tune with you. “I just needed a second to get myself a drink before having this conversation.”

“Ah. You think it’s going to be that bad?”

“For my career, probably. Or my sanity, at the very least.”

It’s pleasantly surprising to you how quickly he drops his guard this time. “I drive you that crazy, huh?”

“Yeah.” He admits. “Yeah, you do.”

Now it’s your turn to be silent. You hadn’t expected him to so openly admit that.

“I have to ask…” He starts. “I thought maybe you just lost the boutonniere or that my phone number fell out, and that’s why you didn’t call. But you kept both of those things. So… why didn’t you?”

“Hongseok, you folded the paper up so small and you tucked it so far into the flowers that I had no idea it was even in there. I just saved the flowers because… I don’t know, they had a good memory attached. I didn’t even see the paper until now because the flowers finally wilted enough to expose it.”

“Was it really that small?”

“You folded it four times,” you laugh. “Once or twice would have sufficed. And you could have just handed it to me separately. I don’t know why you were so sneaky about it.”

“I thought it would be a cute gesture!” He defends himself. “I was just trying to be romantic.”

“You had the right idea. And hey, I called you eventually.”

“Yeah, just not under the circumstances I expected.”

There’s a thick pause, the silence heavy between you. You know exactly where this conversation should go, but you’re scared to be the one to bring it all up. The longer the silence goes on, though, the more you realize you just need to suck it up and ask the questions you want answers to.

“...How do you feel? About what we did?” You try to keep your voice steady to hide your nervousness. Then you tack on, “I think now would be a good time for us to start being honest with each other.”

He exhales deeply. “I’m not sure that I’ve ever felt more conflicted about something in my life. I’ve spent the last few months preaching to you about morals, and then I brought you into my home, fully aware of the Kryptonite that you are.”

You can’t let him take all of the blame for what happened. You say, “I’m the one that suggested it.”

“Yeah, why did you do that?”

“Because I thought I had something to prove. I swear I wasn’t trying to be sneaky. I genuinely thought that I just needed to one-up your car ride suggestion to show you how okay things were between us.”

“But now here we are.” Another pause, but this one isn’t as long as he willingly confesses to you, “I hate that you left. I absolutely hated it.”

“I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have run out like that.” You apologize, but there’s more you want to say. “But… I’m not sorry about what we did."

There. You admit it. As much as you felt the need to apologize to Jiyoo about your behavior the other night, it was empty. You don’t regret it. And if you had the chance to sleep with Hongseok again, you'd do it. It might be wrong, but you honestly couldn't care less. Especially now that you're talking to him, hearing his sweet voice and remembering the way he touched you.

Quietly, he responds, "That makes things quite complicated, doesn't it?"

"How do you feel about it?" You press him, feeling like tonight is the night he’ll actually be frank with you about what he’s thinking.

"It was careless of me to let you into my home, and even more careless of me to give in to my desires. I genuinely thought I could handle being around you, but I can't. I can't be around you, _____. You're far too much of a temptation."

"You say you can't. But you want to be," you push. You're getting him to open up one way or another.

And it works.

"Yes, _____, I want to be around you. Is that what you want to hear?"

"Only if it's the truth."

"It is." Frustration is sharp in his voice. "I've been a wreck thinking about you since you left. I've been absolutely torn up trying to figure out what the hell I'm going to do now and wondering how you’ll act in class, if you’ll even show up. And now you just call me out of the blue? Do you know how badly I wanted you to call me this summer?"

You answer with your own question, keeping your voice soft. "I called you as soon as I found your number, didn't I? I swear I would have called you in a heartbeat if I had seen it sooner."

He sighs deeply. "Can you imagine how much harder this semester would have been, though? It was hard enough for us to stay apart this long, and that's after sleeping together only once this summer. We could have potentially built up a lot more… history before the semester started if things had gone differently."

"So you're saying you would have slept with me again if I had called you the next day?" A coy smile comes to your lips and you grip the comforter on your bed.

"If you called me, and that's what you wanted, then of course."

"And the day after that?"

He laughs. "As often as you wanted."

Butterflies stir deep within you. "...and what about now?"

Hongseok is quiet for what feels like a century before he responds. "What is it that you want?"

You bite your lower lip, knowing exactly what you want to say but trying to get up the courage to speak it. Eventually you just force it out. "I want to see you when I'm back from break."

"When do you get back?"

"Sunday afternoon."

"Come over then. I'll be home."

Incredible excitement pulses through you. He's done fighting it. He has given in just as much as you have.

"You'll have to text me your address," you coolly respond.

"I'll do that."

Quiet falls over the line, and you know that there's still something else you need to talk about. "What does all of this mean when it comes to class? It's too late for me to drop and honestly, you haven't done a great job of giving me unbiased grades anyway. You're too good at math for that to have been an accident every time."

"You're right about that, and I apologize again. You, on the other hand, have done a wonderful job keeping me honest."

"Why did you boost my grades, anyway?"

"Because I knew you'd come storming into my office to get it fixed."

"So what, you just wanted to see me?"

"I did."

"You know that was a terrible plan, right?"

"Yes, I'm aware."

"You've really got it bad," you joke. But there's a little bit of weight to it, just a touch of truth.

"And you don't?" He replies, and you feel the same weight in his voice.

You let yourself respond flirtatiously. "How can I not?"

Hongseok lets out a soft chuckle. "We've been screwed since the beginning, I think."

"Agreed," you murmur. "I knew the second I laid eyes on you that I was in trouble."

"It was that easy, huh?"

"It was mostly the tux," you lie. He gets a big ego far too easily.

"Mm. Then what was it the other night? Because I certainly wasn't wearing a tux."

You laugh and shamelessly divulge, "It was the glasses…"

"Really? Those old things?"

"They just looked so… you looked really handsome in them." The blatant compliment is rough on your tongue. It feels weird to so openly tell him that he's attractive.

"Mm," he hums. "I like hearing you say that."

Your already quick heartbeat picks up, but you don't know how to respond. So you just pick up your unfinished train of thought. "Wait, we're getting distracted. How are we going to finish this semester?"

"I swear on my life that I will give you a fair grade. I won't boost it in your favor just to prove my interest, and I also won't lower it if you decide you want nothing to do with me. I understand that I gravely mishandled the first part of this semester, and I just need you to trust that I'll do better this time."

You frown a little. "I want to trust you on that. It at least makes me feel a little better that you were always willing to fix my grade when I told you there was an issue."

"And if you have any further complaints about your grade, we can discuss it. That is always the truth."

"Okay. That makes me feel better." You breathe a little easier. 

"And of course, it goes without saying that this should remain between just the two of us."

You sigh heavily. "Then I'm just gonna come clean right now and let you know that Jiyoo and Hwitaek already know."

"You told them?" Hongseok sounds rigid as ever, and you hope you didn’t just ruin his pleasant attitude by telling him that.

"It was an accident! Jiyoo came up to me spouting about how she knows about everything because you blabbed before, and I thought she meant everything everything, so I accidentally said more than I should have. In my defense, I'm obviously not the first one to talk to them about it so I'd appreciate it if you weren't too harsh about this."

He takes a deep breath, and you hear the clink of ice in his glass as he takes a drink. "They really are nosey--well, Jiyoo, mostly. Hwitaek just gets sucked in."

"She's always been that way," you confide.

Hongseok actually chuckles. "That doesn't surprise me."

"It's still kind of weird to me that you know them so well. And then you ended up being my professor? What are the odds?"

"Mmm… I’d say about one in twenty-seven million, nine-hundred-sixty-seven thousand, six-hundred-thirty-two or so."

You laugh in disbelief. "Don’t tell me that you legitimately just did that math in your head.”

“I mean, I can only take partial credit for that because no, I didn’t do the exact math for our situation. I don’t even know how to start calculating that. But I do know that the average probability of winning a six-number lottery is thirteen million, nine-hundred-eighty-three thousand, eight-hundred-sixteen, and I figure our situation is probably even more rare than that, so I just doubled it. That figure is probably still too low, though.”

“Oh my God,” you just shake your head, laughing. “You’re absurd. You just know the exact probability of winning the lottery? And you just did all of that multiplication in your head? Who does that?”

“I do, _____. I’m a mathematical genius.” Hongseok sounds so serious that you can’t help but laugh a little harder, and he laughs right along with you. "It really is unreal, though. I had no idea that I would cross paths with you at the university,” he continues. “Do you feel okay with all of this?"

"Yeah, I do.” You start to regain your composure. “I feel much better now that we're talking."

"Good. I want you to feel okay, especially if we both want to… move forward with any kind of relations."

You have to roll your eyes at his choice of words. "'Relations'? That's what you went with?"

"Ah, yes. 'Rendezvous' would have been better."

"Oh my God, you're an idiot," you laugh wholeheartedly. 

He chuckles quietly. "What should I say, then? What do you think is more appropriate?"

"Maybe hook-up?" You offer. "Or… bang sesh? Fuck fest?"

That elicits deeper laughter from him. "All good options, I suppose."

"Or if you wanted something a little softer… maybe… a date?"

"I like that suggestion." His voice is warm when he responds, and then more quietly he says, "I was afraid that I ruined everything because of the way you ran out. I thought I went too far and made you regret the whole thing."

Butterflies stir deep in your belly. "You didn't ruin a thing. But I was definitely surprised when you kissed me. And… you said you couldn't stop thinking about me. I had no idea."

"I've spent more time thinking about you than I'd care to admit, if I'm being honest."

You let yourself smile broadly when he says that. It's not like he can see you grinning like a fool, anyway. "What would you think about?" You prod.

"Most of the time, it's your eyes."

"Really?"

"They're so intense, and so honest. It’s unbelievably easy to feel connected to you because of that, even when you’re mad or upset." He softly muses. "And when I'm not thinking about your eyes, I'm thinking about the way you danced with me at the wedding reception. Or the incredible music you make when you sit down at the piano. Your passion is truly amazing."

You appreciate the compliment, but that's not really the type of conversation you're trying to have right now. "And what about when you're alone? What do you think about when you think of me then?"

"Are you looking for something a little more R-rated? Is that what you want?" He teases you. 

You sink a little lower into your bed, humming quietly in agreement. 

"Those are the times when I think about the curve of your body, your clothes on the floor, you pinned under me." He confidently responds.

"Mm… Are you alone now?"

"I am." He responds darkly. "So yes, those are the thoughts currently going through my head."

A delicious flame of pleasure licks at the space between your thighs, and you drag your fingers subconsciously across your throat. "I have very similar thoughts… like thinking about your face buried between my legs." You don't allow yourself to be embarrassed by the bold statement--you're too turned on to think critically, anyway.

“Just you wait until Sunday, _____.” The mellow timbre of his voice has taken on some edge. “I have to warn you, though. I can’t guarantee that I’ll let you leave once you get here.”

“I want you to wreck me, Hongseok. Just absolutely demolish me when I get there.” Your voice becomes increasingly breathy as your hand slides up under your shirt, pushing your bra out of the way and toying with your nipples. Christ, what you wouldn’t do to replace your hand with his right now.

“If you’re going to keep talking like that, I think that can certainly be arranged.”

Pinching your nipple, you let out a soft gasp. All rational thought is very quickly going out the window as your need for release quickly takes over.

“_____, are you touching yourself?”

You know your noises aren’t quiet enough to prevent getting caught, but you’re also not at all guilty about being caught. You let your voice be sultry. “What if I am?”

“Then I just might have to join you,” Hongseok responds, fucking cool as a cucumber like always.

Your stomach twists into a delicious knot--you’d love nothing more than to masturbate with him over the phone. But before you get too carried away, there are a few things you want to take care of first. You abandon your chest, fumbling for the headphones that lie tangled up on your nightstand, knowing that you’re going to want both of your hands free for this. You also stuff a blanket along the bottom of your bedroom door to block the light coming from your room and help muffle any sound--your family should all be asleep by now, but it doesn’t hurt to be careful.

“You always get me thinking about things I shouldn’t be thinking.” His voice comes through your headphones loud and clear, and your phone buzzes in your hand with the receipt of a text message. “Check your phone.”

You quickly realize the message is from him, and as soon as you open the message, you swallow hard. Hongseok sent you a picture of himself lounging in bed, in nothing but low-slung sweatpants. At the top of the frame you can just barely make out his teeth biting into his plush lower lip, and his muscular abdomen takes up the majority of the screen. But perhaps the most important and eye-catching piece of the whole photo is the unmistakable outline of his hard cock through the fabric of his sweats, emphasized by his hand holding the base and pulling his pants tight against his erection. You have no doubt that he must have taken photos like this a thousand times before because no one is that good at taking sexy shots without some practice.

“F-fuck,” you mumble, completely caught off-guard by the photo. Every thought you have is some combination of you wanting to kiss or lick or bite or suck every inch of him, and you try your hardest to form a coherent sentence. “Oh my God, you’re such a tease.”

“You don’t like it?”

“No it’s fucking amazing but Christ, what am I supposed to do with this?”

“Well if you’re open to suggestions, you could maybe send something back.”

You pause for just a second, contemplating, and then respond. “Okay, hold on.”

You know that getting a good photo could easily take you twenty minutes, so you reserve yourself to the fact that you’re just going to have to settle for whatever you can get in the next sixty seconds. You quickly shimmy out of your sweatpants so you’re just in your blue cotton underwear and a graphic tee. You pull up the hem of the shirt to expose a little of your tummy, and then try to snap a picture similar to his. It’s not quite enough, though, so at the last second you decide to slip your fingers into your panties, pulling the band down with your thumb to show off some extra skin.

There. That’s the shot.

“Okay, I’m sending it,” you tell him quietly, your hand oddly shaky as you press Send. 

He hums softly in acknowledgement, and you hear him suck in a breath as soon as he opens the picture. “Fucking hell,” Hongseok groans. “You are so hot it is unbelievable.”

A devilish grin creeps onto your lips. You love that he’s just as floored by you as you are by him. “What are you gonna do about it?”

"For starters, I'll put that rotten mouth of yours to good use. And then--what was it? I'll wreck you. Ruin you. Demolish you. I'll pin you to the wall, the bed, the floor, and I'll stuff you with my cock until you can't think straight."

Jesus Christ this man knows just what to say. You haphazardly push your panties down, kicking them off onto the floor as your fingers graze over your slick pussy. "Too bad we have to wait a whole two days for that."

"I guess I'll just have to fill the time thinking of you and stroking my cock."

His words send a delicious shiver down your spine. "Maybe you'd like to think of how wet I am right now, how easily--aahh--how easily my fingers slip right inside." You glide one finger into your pussy, delighted by the way your nerves completely light up at the sensation. Your other hand returns to your chest, making sure your whole body is tended to.

"Fuck," he chuckles playfully. "You've got me so hard, _____."

"Ugh I just wanna ride you forever." You hear him moan quietly over the line. "Are you touching yourself, too?"

"Of course I am. How can I not when you paint such a lewd picture of yourself in my head?"

"I'm fingering myself and wishing you were here, Hongseok. I wanna be strewn out, completely wasted because I'm so drunk on you."

"Tell me what you're doing, _____."

"I've got one finger pumping slowly in and out of my pussy. My palm--nggh--is pressing against my clit. And my other hand is up my shirt, pinching my nipple. It feels so good, Hongseok, oh my God…" You start to get carried away in the pleasure you create for yourself, and you struggle to keep focused.

"I want you here so badly," Hongseok groans, and you know it's because of his pleasure. "I swear I have never in my life wanted anything as much as I want you right now."

Your heart flutters uncontrollably. How does he always manage to make these moments feel romantic? You desperately want to respond, I'm all yours if you want me to be, Hongseok, but it feels too heavy. Too laden with emotion. You swallow all of that down and respond with a much safer, "Tell me what you're doing right now, Hongseok."

"I'm thrusting my cock into my fist and desperately wishing it was your pussy instead, wishing I could fill my hands with your ass and occupy my lips with yours."

You whimper at his words. Imagining him fucking his hand drives you absolutely wild, especially when accompanied with such sweet words. And you can hear his hard breathing, his deep dulcet tones as he tells you exactly what you want to hear.

Hongseok continues, "My cock is throbbing in my hand, fuck, I wanna be inside of you so bad."

"I'm dying to feel your cock again," you moan quietly, careful to keep your volume low. As you slip in another finger, you feel the deep pressure that you know precedes some of your most amazing orgasms. Oh, this is gonna be good. "Fuck, Hongseok…"

He moans softly too, murmuring your name as he pleasures himself. "I want to feel your wet pussy squeezing my cock," he groans. "What do you think, _____?"

"I want it, Hongseok, I want you to…" You're cut off by the buzzing of your phone.

"Check your phone," Hongseok breathily commands.

You release your nipple and pick up your phone with one hand, the other coming to a standstill with two fingers still pressed inside you. Electric anticipation shoots through you at the thought of receiving another dirty photo from him.

But this time, it's not a photo.

Hongseok sent you a video.

With a shaky hand you press play, and you're immediately drowning in lust. The video shows his hand tightly gripping his cock as it moves up and down the shaft, slick with spit or lube or something. You hear him hum your name in the video's sound. 

"I want to feel your wet pussy squeezing my cock," he groaned, and it sounds even more filthy and amazing because he recorded it. And then the video shifts up his torso and to his stunningly handsome face. Hongseok stares right into the camera, flicks his tongue across his lower lip, and asks, "What do you think, _____?"

You watch it again, open-mouthed in shock and practically imploding. Not only is the video the single most sexy thing you've ever seen, but he was brave enough to send you his face? If you wanted to, you could use this video alone to turn him in to the school. He literally just handed you blackmail.

You would never, ever in a million years use this video for that purpose, though. It's just amazing to you that he would trust you so much to send you such incriminating content.

"Hongseok," you finally speak. "You are so unbelievably perfect."

"Hardly," he lets out a soft, low chuckle. "I'm just horny out of my mind right now."

"Me too, and fuck it feels so good."

"I want to see you, _____."

Your breath catches in your throat. You've never taken a video of yourself like that before, and it sends a dangerous thrill through you that he's asking for one. And as you pick up your phone, you see the call screen, and you notice that small little camera--the tiniest suggestion that you could change this call to a video call at any moment. 

And then you dare to press it.

The phone rings again as you wait for Hongseok to answer the video call, and you're wholly unprepared to see his face when he picks up.

He looks at his phone for a moment, just looking at you, and then the most beautiful smile breaks across his face. "Hey."

Every organ in your chest is an absolute wreck. "Hey," you echo. 

"This isn't quite what I expected when I said I wanted to see you, but I'll take it."

"It's convenient though, isn't it?" Your walls involuntarily clench around your fingers, reminding you of your need for release. "Let me… show you."

You lower the phone to skim down your body--although your top half is still covered by your t-shirt so you're really not showing much--and when you get down to the hand tucked between your legs, you lift one leg and wrap your arm around it to get a good shot of your pussy. Your fingers press deep into your slit, and you moan for Hongseok.

"Shit, _____, you look so good. I wish I could taste you."

You pull out your fingers and separate them, showing him the strings of your wetness that spread between your digits. "That's what you want?" And then you bring your hand and your phone up towards your face, putting on your best sultry eyes as you twirl your tongue around the tips of your fingers.

Hongseok groans, "Oh Christ," and then he shows you his cock, forcing you to plunge your fingers back inside your pussy out of sheer desperation.

"Hongseok, I wanna cum so bad," you whimper. You can feel it building deep within you, and you just need something to push you over the edge. And honestly, watching him work his cock might just be enough.

You feel absolutely depraved watching him stroke himself, curling your fingers into your pussy as you masturbate together. It's delightfully sinful and you're obsessed with the way it makes you feel. 

"Hong… Hongseok…" you moan his name, forcing your eyes to stay open so that you can keep your focus on his hard length. The coil in your abdomen tightens to its limit, and you're entirely aware that the dam is about to break. You struggle to keep your pussy in frame, as you push yourself over the edge. "Watch, watch! I'm coming…"

And just like that, your whole pussy convulses and you abruptly pull out your fingers, watching as you squirt all over your bed. It's nearly impossible to prevent your moaning, so you do your best to keep the volume down as you explode.

Hongseok sounds just as pleased as you thought he might be when you hear a string of expletives come over the line. But even his words are broken up with soft grunts and almost-moans. "I didn't know… you could do that."

"Sometimes," you laugh, quite out of breath from the water show. "Do you like it?"

"Of course I do," his hand picks up its pace. "I want to make you squirt next time."

"You can do that," you acknowledge. Even after your release, you notice that your clit isn't at all sensitive and you are still pretty turned on. So you keep your hand down there, absentmindedly rubbing circles into your bud.

It's not long before you feel the need to engage your hips. You start thrusting up against your fingers, but you want something more.

"I need your cock," you moan to him, partially convinced that his body is the only thing you’re missing. 

"I can't even tell you how badly I want to give it to you," he responds in a dark, sultry tone. On camera, he starts to thrust up into his hand instead of just stroking it, and you think it looks absolutely amazing. You thrust your hips in time with his, but you need more.

Less-than-gracefully, you climb up onto your hands and knees, propping your phone up against your headboard. He gets a nice tall shot of you kneeling on the bed, legs spread and strings of juices hanging from your pussy, and you hear him groan something about how he loves this view.

You grab your pillow and fold it in half for extra height before tucking it between your legs and spreading your folds so that your clit rubs directly against the pillowcase. You ruthlessly hump your pillow, eyes completely trained on your phone so you don't miss a second of Hongseok's jerking. 

"Christ, you're unbelievably sexy. That is so hot, _____," Hongseok groans. His hand twists the head of his cock before plunging back down the shaft, his arm muscles bulging as he quickly jerks off. You can see his cock rapidly twitching, pulsing extra hard as he approaches orgasm. 

“Think about me riding you, Hongseok,” you quietly moan, trying to encourage him to climax. “Think about burying your cock in my pussy and grabbing my hips and filling me up with your cum.”

“Is that what you want?” His breathing is ragged. “You want me to cum inside you?”

“Yes, I want it,” you confess, and you know it’s the truth. You’ve fantasized about letting him fuck you raw so he can feel every inch of you as he cums. You’re dying to know what that feels like.

“Fucking Christ…” Hongseok’s hand moves a little faster, strokes a little deeper, until it’s clear that he can’t hold back anymore. “_____…”

With just a few more pumps, Hongseok finally releases, his throaty moans accompanying each rope of cum that shoots up onto his chest. Between the sounds and the visual he provides, you simply cannot handle yourself.

“Hongseok,” you murmur his name. You continue to grind against your pillow, blissfully soaking it with your juices. The delicious tension in your abdomen is too much--it's coiled too tightly and it's going to snap any second now. 

Your eyes squeeze shut so you can better imagine Hongseok lying beneath you, his calloused hands grasping your waist as you rock and grind your hips. 

"_____, you're perfect. Fucking perfect. Ride me, _____." He seems to play along with the fantasy in your head, inching you closer until you finally break. 

Pure, blissful pleasure rushes through you like adrenaline as you orgasm, roughly dragging your clit over the cotton of your pillowcase. It takes everything in you to keep quiet, and your thighs tremble with each powerful wave.

And when you finally open your eyes, you see Hongseok watching you with so much adoration it makes you want to cry. 

"That was amazing," you pant, breathing hard from the exertion of your orgasm. 

"It was amazing to watch, too." Hongseok beams. "I am so attracted to you it kills me."

You collapse onto your bed, tossing your pillow aside and picking up your phone. Hongseok genuinely appears to be glowing, and you can't help but wonder if he sees you the same way. You just smile and say, "I can't wait to see you."

"Neither can I," he responds warmly. He takes a moment to wipe the cum off of his chest with a towel, and then he settles back into his bed, lying on his side and gazing sweetly at you through his phone. "I can't tell you how badly I want to kiss you right now."

"I wish you could. Man, you're such a good kisser."

“Sunday. I’ll kiss you all I want on Sunday.”

It’s weird how much you wish you could just reach through the phone and touch him, run your fingers over his cheek, brush his hair out of his eyes. Your heart pounds as your eyes skim over his face, taking in his beautiful image. He makes you feel so warm and happy. It’s undeniable that you’ve got feelings for him. And so you don’t even think twice before the words come out of your mouth: “I like you, Hongseok. I don’t care that you’re my professor. I’m done worrying about that because I just like you and I want you and that’s all there is to it.”

It’s true. One-hundred percent.

Hongseok’s smile is small and sweet, but bursting with tenderness. “I like you too, _____. I don’t care about you being my student, either. We’ll make this work for us.”

“Mhm.” The fluttering in your chest is endless, and you know this couldn’t feel more right. “We’ll make it work.”

You both stay on the line as you turn off lights and tuck into bed. Hongseok talks to you about nothing, and your mind is finally at ease as your eyelids start to become heavy with sleep. His voice is a lullaby and when you finally fall asleep, you dream of nothing but the warmth of his arms.

POST SCRIPT | Thank you for reading! Please stay tuned for Part 11, and let me know if you want to be tagged when I post it!

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED © GWENTORYFICS. NO TRANSLATIONS, REPOSTING, AND/OR MODIFYING OF THE MATERIAL IS ALLOWED WITHOUT MY DIRECT PERMISSION.

[damianwaynerocks]

Zuko & the Waynes - Chapter 3

Batfam/ATLA au

Description:  Prince Zuko, pre-finding Aang, falls into Gotham City. After being adopted by Bruce Wayne, Zuko finds himself enjoying life in this strange world. Zuko Wayne has a family who loves him unconditionally. Zuko Wayne is a hero, saving the innocents of Gotham City every night. But Zuko soon finds himself at the center of a plot that threatens to destroy not only this new world he's come to love, but also the world he's trying to leave behind.

A/N: okay, so the members of the titans and young justice team are different in this au.

Young Justice: Tim Drake (Red Robin); Cassie Sandsmark (Wondergirl); Kon/Conner Kent (Superboy); Bart Allen (Impulse)

Titans: Dick Grayson (Nightwing); Koriand'r (Starfire); Garfield Logan (Beast Boy); Rachel Roth (Raven); Jaime Reyes (Blue Beetle); M'Gann M'orris (Miss Martian)

Chapter 2 | Masterlist

Chapter 3:

"So, you remember the plan?"

"Yeah, we got it," said Cassie into her earpiece, having to raise her voice to be heard over the pouring rain outside. "Don't worry about us, we're fine."

"Good to know," Tim responded into the comlink.

It was the night of the auction. Zuko was wearing a black suit while Cassie was wearing a red dress. Both had their masks on. Kon, also known as Superboy, was sitting in the driver's seat. He was acting as their chauffeur, and was there as backup in case anything went wrong. Zuko rolled his eyes as he heard a slurping sound in his com link, presumably from Tim taking a sip of coffee.

 "That was gross," Kon sighed. "Don't do that." 

Tim ignored him. "Proud of you both. Remember, if the wrong person gets their hands on the magyntite, not even Superman will be able to stop them." He paused. "No pressure, though.”

"Wow, you're great at pep talks." Zuko adjusted the mask on his face, making sure it hid his scar. "You ready, Cassie?"

"I was born ready," Cassie responded with a grin. "Now, let's go, Henry."

"After you, Larissa." Zuko grabbed an umbrella and stepped out of the  self-driving black limousine they'd borrowed from Bruce. He went around to her side of the vehicle and opened her door for her. Cassie looped her arm through his, muttering a thank you as Zuko raised the umbrella above both of them. They walked into the casino.

 Just inside, a bouncer stepped in front of them. "How tall is the eagle's wingspan?"

"That means do magic," Tim said through the coms.

 "Uh," Zuko's mind raced as he tried to think of a spell on the spot. "Fire Dragon Iron Fist!" he finally said, and a ball of fire appeared over his closed fist. The bouncer nodded, and unhooked the red rope, allowing them to step inside.It was bright and loud and flashy, and Zuko had to stop for a moment to get his bearings.

 "You good?" Cassie whispered, placing a hand on his chest to steady him. "It's okay. Let's just go downstairs, follow me." She gently led him towards the back of this casino. Tim had told them that there was a staircase behind the bathrooms, and the basement was where the auction was taking place.They walked past the doors that said 'men' and 'woman' and opened the third door, revealing stairs going down to a concrete basement. "You okay now?" Cassie asked as they began to descend. 

 "Yeah," Zuko grunted. "I'm fine." They walked down a dark and damp hallway, a stark contrast to the bright lights and clean floors of the upper floor. The reached a huge room with a wrap around balcony overlooking the bottom floor. Many people, all wearing masks, were crowded together. 

"It's about to start, Mr. Henry," Cassie said. "Let's go sign in." The pair walked through the people until they reached the stairs leading to the bottom floor. Arms still linked, they walked down the stairs. 

"There's a ton of people here," Zuko mused. "I wonder what they all want to buy." 

Cassie shrugged. "Drugs. Artifacts. Who knows." 

They made their way to the middle of the throng of people and sat down in two of the chairs. The auction started soon after, and the words the auctioneer was saying sounded like white noise to Zuko. Finally, twenty minutes in, Tim's voice in his ear made Zuko flinch. "Magyntite is next," he said. "Be ready."

Sure enough, the man held up a silver briefcase. "Magyntite!" he yelled. "This drug is like Kobra Venom! Bulk up your muscles, lady and gentlemen. Do I hear... two million?" Zuko raised his hand and the same time another man did. The man glared at Zuko, who did the same.Back and forth this happened, Zuko and this man trying to get the magyntite. In the end, though, Zuko and Cassie got it for $45,000,000.

 "Holy crap," Cassie breathed as they walked back up the stairs. "That man wanted to kill you." 

Zuko hummed. "He isn't the only one." 

Cassie gave him an amused look."Is that so, Sir Henry?"

"Indeed it is, Lady Larissa."

Golden eyes gazed into blue for a second, both having small smiles on their faces.

  "Yo, you guys get it?"

"Uh, yeah," Cassie replied, breaking eye contact. "Yeah, we're heading back now." 

Zuko's face reddened. He hadn't felt any feeling similar to that since Mai, when he was thirteen. He shook his head to clear it. Don't be stupid, he told himself. Don't even go there. No chance of that happening.

"You good?" Cassie asked, raising an eyebrow under her mask. Zuko cleared his throat and nodded a little too quickly.

"Me? I'm great. Splendid. Never been better!" he babbled. "Oh Agni, I bet Kon is going crazy! Uh, let's go see him!" He linked his arm with Cassie's and half-led half-drug her through the club and out the door.

"And the lovely couple returns!" Kon cheered as Zuko opened the door for Cassie. "I missed you! Tim told me I couldn't listen to my podcast because I had to stay alert so I've been bored out of my mind."

"Oh, poor baby!" Cassie mocked. "Do you need a massage and a nice cup of tea?"

"I do, actually."

"Too bad, Superbrat."

 Zuko looked out the window. He missed his uncle's tea.

 Only 11 more months. 

___

The next morning, Zuko, Duke and Damian were at the table eating breakfast. Zuko was about to put a piece of bacon in his mouth when he felt eyes on him. Looking up, he frowned as he met Duke's eyes. "What?

Duke's eyebrows were furrowed in disbelief. "Dude, it's 7:00 in the morning. Why are you already dressed?" 

Zuko blinked. While the others were in their pajamas- Duke in an old t-shirt and shorts and Damian in his silk robe -Zuko was in jeans and a Ralph Lauren button-up, his hair in a topknot. He would've put shoes on, if it weren't for Alfred's no-shoes-in-the-house rule. "I'm used to getting up at dawn and getting ready. It's what I've done for three years."

Duke shook his head. "You're making me feel like a slob, Zu."

 "You will not feel that way for long," Damian spoke up. "For I hear Drake coming down the stairs." 

Sure enough, Tim walked around the corner, staggering to the table. He was in an over sized black Superman shirt and his boxers with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. His long hair was a mess, and the circles under his eyes made it look as though he had been punched in the face.  Alfred pulled out a chair beside Zuko, a cup of coffee already in his hand. Tim stumbled towards the chair, looking as though he was about to pass out. He sat down in the chair slowly, and Alfred immediately put the cup of coffee in front of him. Tim blinked slowly, before picking up the coffee and bringing it to his lips. 

"Well," Duke chuckled. "I no longer feel like a slob." 

Damian wrinkled his nose, scoffing at Tim. "You are a disgrace, Drake. Have some self respect." Tim stared at him owl-eyed in response.

 "Just give him like ten minutes," Duke said. "Anyways! So I heard you went on a mission last ni-"

"Master Duke!" Alfred interrupted him sharply. "Might I remind you the rules of breakfast?" 

Duke seemed to shrink into himself as he answered in a small voice, "No vigilante talk at the breakfast table." Alfred nodded in approval before going back into the kitchen. Duke turned back to Zuko. "Later."

Zuko hummed in response. 

--

As soon as breakfast was over, Duke ran to Zuko excitedly. "So!? How'd it go?"

"It went fine," Zuko replied. "I mean, we went in, got the stuff and got back in the car."

"That's it? No fights?"

"No fights."

"What about Cassie? Any emotions?" 

Zuko coughed, his eyes widening. "What!? No! Don't be stupid!"

Duke laughed. "Dude, you're gonna have to get better at lying if you want to join the business."

"Which could start right now, if you want." Zuko and Duke whirled around to see Bruce holding a cup of coffee. "You've been here for a month. You can fight and you're smart. You're welcome to start training today, if you want."

Zuko's jaw dropped. "Uh, yeah! That'd be great!" 

Bruce smiled."Fantastic. Go get changed into something comfortable and we'll start."

Zuko practically sprinted to his room, but before he could change, his phone chimed.

Cassie Sandsmark: good morning doofus

.Zuko grinned in spite of himself.

Zuko Wayne: good morning!

Cassie Sandsmark: how'd you sleep?

Zuko Wayne: great but i don't know if tim slept at all he's barely alive right now

Cassie Sandsmark: sounds like tim

Cassie Sandsmark: so when u joining the hero business

Zuko Wayne: right now,, I'm about to start training

Cassie Sandsmark: YAY TELL ME HOW IT GOES

Zuko Wayne: of course

__

Training, Zuko decided, was difficult. It'd been a month since he'd started, and while he was improving, he was sore and sick of computers. 

"If I have to break another one of Tim's codes, I'll kill myself," he groaned, flopping on to the couch beside Damian, who nodded. 

"Every time Drake speaks, I want to kill myself." Zuko eyed him wearily.

"That's harsh."

"Such is reality." Damian flipped to the next page of the book he was reading. "So, your first patrol is tomorrow?" 

Zuko grinned."Yeah. I'm so excited." He sat up, cracking his knuckles. "Gonna be a blast."

"Are you finally adequate at lying?" 

Zuko winced. "It took me a while but yeah, I got it."

 "Good. We cannot have you exposing our secret." He looked up from his book. "Christmas is next month. Pennyworth instructed me to inform you that he needs a list of what you wish."

Zuko groaned. "I have no idea what I want."

"Well, figure it out," Damian replied. "Because if you do not, I'll have to listen to the complaining."

__

It was the night of his first patrol. Zuko turned to the mirror. His suit was a black kevlar lined jumpsuit with an obsidian utility belt and combat boots of the same color. There was a blue bat symbol across the chest, and a demon-type stage mask of the same color on his face. He looked at the blue gauntlet on his wrist and flexed his arm.

Dick whistled lowly. "Lookin' sharp, Zu."

Zuko grunted in response, but he couldn't stop the corners of his lips from twitching upwards.

"Good to see you suited up," Bruce said as he saw his son. He turned to the Bat Computer and typed something in. "Alright. Nightwing and Robin, you take the east side. Red Hood and Black Bat, you take the west. Red Robin, you take south. Blue Spirit and I will take north."

"You got it, boss man," said Jason with a mock salute. At that, the vigilantes headed out.

"Remember," Bruce began as he and Zuko got into the Batmobile. "Code names in the field." Zuko nodded.

"I won't forget, Batman."

"Good to hear, Blue Spirit." 

After a few minutes if driving, Oracle spoke. "Croc is robbing a store on the corner of North and Order," she said. "Blue Spirit and Batman are closest."

"We're on it," Bruce said, and sped up. 

They reached the corner in five minutes, and jumped out of the car. "Croc!" Bruce yelled.

A huge reptilian humanoid turned toward the voice, and smiled. "Batman!" he chirped. "And who's this?"

"Blue Spirit," Zuko said stiffly. 

Killer Croc chuckled."New kid to destroy? I love that." 

Croc rushed him, snapping his jaws viciously. Zuko jumped into the air, doing a flip over the creature. Fire blasted out of his elbow and he punched Croc in the snout as he turned. 

Croc stumbled back. "Igniting your elbow to increase the force of your punch? Smart. Not smart enough." He ran towards Zuko again, claws outstretched, moving at inhuman speeds. Zuko ducked under his claws and gave an uppercut with the same advantage into his stomach. Croc was thrown into the air by the force. Before he could land, Zuko sent a blast of fire at him, engulfing him in flames. Croc screamed and fell to the ground, charred and smoking.

 "He's still alive," Bruce said gruffly. "Not bad. I'll call Gordon." Zuko's chest swelled with pride, but he simply nodded. 

"There's a robbery at the R&D center of Enterprises," Oracle said suddenly.

"Blue Spirit and I are going to check it out," Bruce answered.

"10-4," Dick replied. "Call if you need backup." Bruce grunted in response and, gesturing for Zuko to follow, jumped back into the Batmobile before speeding off.

"R&D?" Zuko echoed what Oracle had said earlier. "What's that?"

"It's the Research and Development Center," Bruce replied. "It's where we store Batman Inc. tech that's still in production."

"Oh."

“That's right. If anyone succeeds in getting their hands on what's in there-"

"-They'll get their hands on everything." Zuko bit the inside of his cheek. "It's fine. We can do this."

A hint of a smile ghosted across Bruce's lips, so small that Zuko wasn't sure if it'd even been there in the first place.

__

The Research and Development Center of Wayne Enterprises was primarily used to develop advancements in technology. These advancements ranged from more effective cancer treatments to new engines for vehicles.The blueprints listed the building as being eight stories. Unbeknownst to the majority of WE's employees, there was a basement. A basement hidden far below the actual building, so far below than an express elevator was needed. This basement was where the technology for Batman Inc. was developed.

Unlike the secret basement of Falcone's club, this basement was in pristine condition. It had a hospital feel to it, with white flooring, walls, and ceiling. 

Bruce and Zuko had just grappled down the elevator shaft was landed at the end of one of the basement's hallways."The only alarm that's been triggered was the entry alarm," said Bruce. "The rooms where the... merchandise are kept have separate alarm systems. Can you tell me what this means, Blue Spirit?"

"The intruder either doesn't know what exactly is down here, or they just haven't managed to get into the rooms yet." Zuko frowned. "Wait, if they figured out this place was here then that means they definitely know what's down here. So then they haven't found the location of the 'merchandise.'"

"And you believe that to be the most probable scenario?"

"Well... yeah. I mean, unless they managed to bypass the alarm system. But that's impossible, this place is un-hackable ever since that incident with Ra's al Ghul. The security system is invincible. Right?"

"Rule of thumb, Blue Spirit," Bruce grunted, raising his arm closer to his face to he could activate his gauntlet. "Nothing is invincible. Everything has a weakness. Some are harder to find than others, but the only thing that is truly invincible is God Himself. And I don't think He would have any reason to break into Wayne Enterprises."

"Okay, but they tripped the alarm when they came in," Zuko pointed out. "So they must not have been able to hack the system."

"Unless they want us here."

Zuko sucked in his teeth. "So that's what you think? This is a trap?"

"It isn't a trap if we know about it," Bruce countered. "Here, I'm pulling up the motion sensors." Sure enough, the holographic screen coming from the gauntlet showed motion in room 121.

"Is that one of the rooms?" Zuko asked. 

Bruce nodded."Yes." He and Zuko started to run in the direction of the before mentioned room. "There's very dangerous technology in there. We need to stop this intruder now." The two were sprinting, taking twists and turns through the winding hallways until Bruce stuck his arm out, signaling for Zuko to stop. In front of them was room 121, the door ajar.

"Holy crap," Zuko whispered. "They hacked us."

"They hacked us," Bruce echoed. "And now they're going to pay. Manuever 13. Be cautious." Bruce rolled a metal ball into the room, and it exploded into smoke Using the smoke as cover, Zuko and Bruce dashed into the room. 

Using the heat signatures to see through the smoke, Zuko jumped forward, swinging down his broadswords in arc. His eyes widened as they hit air; the person had disappeared."What-" he broke off as someone landed a hit to his spine. Zuko whirled around, kicking out at his attacker, yet his foot hit air as the assailant dodged again.

"A teleporter?" he muttered. A laugh hit his ears, and the assailant landed another hit to the back of his head. Zuko tried to return the hit with one of his own but, of course, he missed.So far, Zuko noticed, they were teleporting closely around him. They were staying in close proximity with him. It would be hard to deduce where exactly they would strike, unless he limited their options.

Zuko stomped on the ground, and a ring of fire flared up around him. The attacker led out a gut wrenching scream as they were caught in the flames.He caught a glimpse of a person in a black suit clutching their arm before they teleported above his head, aiming a dropkick above him.

 But Zuko had anticipated this. He grabbed their leg from above and slammed them on the ground. They landed with a crack and coughed.

"You just broke my spine, you asshole," the person wheezed. They were still now, and Zuko could see she was a girl with long brown hair in a wine-colored robe. 

Zuko gulped, forcing down the rising panic at the girl's words. "Maybe you shouldn't have tried to break my skull."

The girl shrugged. "Just following orders."

"Who are you!?" Zuko snarled. "Tell me! Who are you and what do you want with this technology!?"

"Well, if you must know," the girl said, pain evident in her voice despite her calm tone. "I am but a servant of The Lady of the Dual Skies."

"The Lady of the Dual Skies?" Zuko echoed. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing's taken," Bruce said as he crossed his arms from where he stood behind Zuko. "Nothing has even been tampered with. You clearly weren't looking for anything here. So what did you want?"

"The Lady does not permit me speaking with anybody but you." The girl was speaking directly to Zuko, not sparing Bruce a glance. "She has something she wishes you to know."

Zuko narrowed his eyes behind his mask. "And what would that be?"

The girl grinned wickedly. "She says she'll see you soon."

With that, a portal opened up under the girl and she disappeared in a flash of purple light.

[hasquetzorkukudoneanythingwrong]

Growing Bonds

Bond 1 achieved

Rex nervously went up to Quetz's door. He had an important question to ask.

Rex, knocking: hello? Can I come in?

Quetz: master? Oh sure, come right in!

After that the door opens. Rex comes into the room. Quetz was sitting on her bed in her casual clothes.

Quetz: Hola master! Is there something you needed?

Rex: actually, I wanted to ask... would you... like to go eat with me...?

Quetz: si! I'd love to master!

Rex, now beaming with happiness: thanks!

Bond 2 achieved

Rex was sitting at a chair in the rec room, watching a movie.

Quetz sneaked up behind him, then placed her hands over his eyes

Quetz: guess whoooo...

Rex: ...Quetz?

Quetz, removing her hands: si! You got it!

Rex: of course I did! I'd recognize your voice anywhere!

Quetz: that's so nice master! Actually I had a question to ask you tho

Rex: hmmm?

Quetz: would you like to go on a date with me?

Rex, shocked: you want to go out with me!?!

Quetz: si!

Rex: I-I-I'd love to! Yeah!

Quetz: gracias master!

Bond 3 achieved

Quetz knocked on Rex's door.

Rex: who is it?

Quetz: it's me master! Quetzalcoatl!

Rex: oh hey Quetz! Come in!

She enters the room

Rex: you wanted something?

Quetz: si, I wanted to ask you a very important question.

Rex: what is it?

Quetz: do you want to... be boyfriend and girlfriend?

Rex: !?!?

Rex: y-y-you want to date me!?

Quetz: si! It's clear you like me and I like you so why don't we try it!?

Rex: then yes! A thousand times yes!

Quetz: gracias master!

Bond 4 achieved

The two were cuddling in bed for the first time.

Rex: I can't believe how good this feels.

Quetz: si, I've never experienced it, but now I don't want it to end!

Rex: same here! The feeling of your arms around me and your body so close feels amazing

Quetz: oh master! You saying that makes me feel good!

Bond 5 achieved

Quetz: master, we've been dating for a bit and honestly it's been amazing. You've become such an amazing partner. I didn't think I'd be so happy with someone!

Rex, blushing: Quetz...! Thank you, that feels so good to hear! You're an amazing partner too! I'm so happy to be together with you!

Quetz: gracias mi amor! That makes me happy!

Rex: what did you call me?

Quetz: hm? Mi amor?

Rex: wow, I dunno why but you calling me that felt so good. Thanks... mi corazon!

Quetz: awww!

Bond 6 achieved

Post Solomon

Quetz, knocking on Rex's door: mi amor! Are you ok?

Rex, quietly: I'm fine...

Quetz: you've been in your room ever since we returned form the temple of time. You miss him don't you?

Rex: it's just... why did he have to sacrifice himself! Was there truly no other way!?

Quetz: Roman's sacrifice was needed to stop Goetia. And he chose to do so, so that you and the others can save humanity and live long and full lives!

Rex: I know that! But still... he was like a second father almost...

Quetz: can I come in?

Rex: yeah...

Quetz, coming in: do you want to talk about it?

Rex: not really...

Quetz: ...want to cuddle?

Rex: yeah...

The two embrace each other.

Bond 7 achieved

Post Agartha

Rex: man that pseudo-singularity sucked. But it was so satisfying kicking that dickhead columbus's ass and destroy thay stupid city!

Quetz: si! The wild goosechase to find that city lead to the suffering of my worshippers. It was so cathartic to see it go down, and that foolish man with it.

Rex: y'know what we should do? We should celebratea

Quetz: really!? That sounds amazing!

Rex: yeah, we'll have music, food, watch a movie.

Quetz: that sounds so exciting!

Rex: we can even drink tequila!

Quetz: mi amor!? You'll drink with me?!

Rex: it's a special occasion! So why not!?

Quetz: yay! Let's get this party started!

Bond 8 achieved

A little while before cosmos in lostbelt starts

Rex was sitting in his bed

Quetz: mi amor? Is everything OK?

Rex: ...not really

Quetz: what's wrong?

Rex: it's just... They're going to force me to unsummon you. I don't want to be separated.

Quetz: oh mi amor! It'll be alright!

Rex: not it won't! We may never see each other again! I don't want you to leave me

Quetz: it'll be OK mi amor, I'm sure we'll see each other again.

Rex: how can you be so sure? Did you see the future?

Quetz: no, that's just the future I choose to believe in. I can tell deep in my heart we'll be reunited!

Rex: ...I hope you're right.

Quetz: I know I am!

Bond 9 achieved

During Russia lostbelt, after defeating Ivan and separated from the others

Rex, at his summoning circle: please come back to me mi corazon! I need you here with me again!

The summoning stops and Quetz is there

Quetz: Hola! The goddess Quet- mi amor?

Rex: Hola mi corazon!

Quetz: mi amor!!!

Rex: mi corazon!

The two embrace each other after finally being reunited.

Quetz: it's so good to see you again mi amor!

Rex: and it's great to see you again too. You were right! We did get to reunite!

Quetz: I told you we would!

Bond 10 achieved

Quetz, coming into their room: mi amor? Did you call for me?

Rex: si mi corazon! I have a very important question to ask

Quetz: que?

Rex went down on one knee, and brought out a ring

Rex: will you marry me?

Quetz: !!!!

Quetz: yes! A thousand times yes!!

Quetz put on the ring and then embraced Rex

Quetz: you've made me the happiest goddess ever!

Rex: and I'm the happiest human ever!

A/M: so this was based on the bond system fgo has. I feel like it made sense for a servant and master's bond to rank up after a big moment together so I decided to write it out here! No bonds 11-15 since I still haven't reached that in game myself.

Tags

@hasishtardoneanythingwrong @hasereshdoneanythingwrong @haspaulbunyandoneanythingwrong @hasabbydoneanythingwrong @panyum @grievouslyxorvia @nureenarts

[mylifeinchapters]

Chapter 3

Woof so last night was a something. Nothing too special but it was the 2nd day of jam-packed activity and it left me very tired. After work I went back to my apartment because it is easier to do my online therapy with Jane from my apartment then from my parent’s house. I got there and started to prep dinner when I got a knock at the door and surprise. It was the landlord telling me he had not gotten to my bathroom yet. (sarcastic yay) So he told me that Thursday will be the day it will get done and again I was like “OK but the mold” which he seemed to brush off. The mold is bad, but it stopped smelling as bad, I guess. Still bad and still bad enough for me to sleep at my parents. After he left I jumped online to talk with Jane. We just went over the course of the week. It’s weird that I don’t recognize that my life is stressful until some is like “yeah I can understand your anxiety you’ve been experiencing a lot of change lately” and then I reflect on that and I go “yeah you’re right how did I miss that” I feel a bit dumb because it so obvious.

Then came the rough part Rainbow Circle. I truly don’t know what to do with this group. I want it to keep going but people keep not showing up. I also don’t have topics to really talk about. Pause for a second. Rainbow Circle is an LGBTQ+ Christian group that I facilitate. I’m not the leader I just sorta get people together but I also feel like I’m kind of the leader and it is fizzling. The only people who showed up were John and Maryann. Suzanne bailed at the last second and I was so upset because I wanted to chat with her and also because she would be some who would talk. I am not a talker. I am a reactor. I add to the conversation and add insight and quips, but I am not good at generating conversation. Thankfully John is a talker, so we mostly talked about John’s problems/questions.

Maryann is confusing. I don’t think she wants to be at Rainbow Circle. I think she feels obligated to go for some reason, but she doesn’t like a lot of the people there and I don’t think she likes me anymore and I know people don’t like her and are avoiding RC because she is there. It’s annoying to know that if I kicked out Maryann maybe 2 people who I do like would come back. But that’s not the Christian thing to do.

But the way I have been treated by Christians I don’t know if I would even consider myself a Christian anymore. I’m very burned out by Christianity and its rules that say I am not good enough because I am gay. I’ve lived with that way thinking all my life and it is bullshit! I hate it and I hate the people think less of the LGBTQ+ Christians. So why do a facilitate a Christian group. I don’t know anymore. The rules of being a good Christian that I grew up with are wrong. God has not changed, I still think God loves me as I am, a HOMOSEXUSAL!!!!  but I have grown past the teachings of my childhood, I understand more. To quote the Tilda Swinton from Doctor Strange, “You’re a man looking at the world through a keyhole. You’ve spent your whole life trying to widen that keyhole, to see more, to know more. And now, on hearing that it can be widened in ways you can’t imagine, you reject the possibility.” Unlike Benedict Cumberbatch I have not rejected the possibility that God is bigger than the doctrine I was taught and that looking at the keyhole (AKA religion or God or faith) from a different perspective has given me a bigger idea of who God is. Not being stuck in rigid teaching has shown me more about myself and God. To quote Iroh from Avatar the Last Airbender, “It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale.” (honestly there are a ton of Iroh quotes. Maybe I’ll do post on them).

Then in what still feels like blasphemy I said out loud to people that I think other religions still lead to the same God and I know the 2009 version of me would have had a heart attack and would be very concerned for the 2021 version of me’s soul. I’m OK and I don’t know if that’s where I exactly land but it doesn’t feel completely wrong either so I am sitting with it for now. What started and as a conversation about John letting his son participate in communion transformed into a theological discussion on merits of institutionalized doctrine that goes against our understanding of who God is. In hindsight it was a good conversation and presents be me with a lot to chew. Like If the church is wrong about LGBTQ+ matters what else are they wrong about? How much of the teaching I learned as kid do I keep and what do I throw away? Can I even throw away aspects of a religion? If I do, aren’t I just created a new religion?  That’s why we have some many Christian denominations right? I think this is why I am still in the group even if it was just me and John talking. It challenges me and my views of God and I still, deep down, I want to be connected to a Christina group. I still like God and I still frame myself in relationship to God…even when it’s negative thoughts. It’s ingrained in me and I don’t think that is a bad thing. I closed out the night in prayer and I rushed to the gym.

I weighed myself before the Gym and I am still 190. Yeah, I have made some poor food choices since being at my parents but in no way has it been detrimental to my diet. I’ve been to the gym every day, and I have been eating within my calorie range…probably. I don’t eat all day and then I eat a ton of food at night and when I mean a ton of food let’s take last night as an example. Dinner was asparagus and salmon, very low calorie so I upped my calories by eating pumpkin seeds, then I ate some wild rice, but the big mistake was eating a giant frosted cookie the size of a CD. It was good but I also don’t know how many calories I ate. I had 1800 calories to play with so I should be fine…right?

I went to the gym and nothing crazy happened. I did back and 1 chest exercise. I avoided the personal trainer who is “helping me lose weight” because I have a session with him the next day. But man, personal trainer sessions are a rip off. They are so dumb. I am paying someone to be my spotter. Its dumb and I have not lost any weight. But I do like how I look. I’m giving off muscle bear vibes which is a look I really like. So I’m happy with how I look, I just want to lose some of the fat. I think I just want to define the chest more and sort of smooth out the gut. If I could look like the below picture I’d be happy.  

After the gym I shopped for pumpkin seeds and grabbed popcorn and chips. Popcorn just in case I got hungry and chips for the podcast. I won’t eat the chips until Monday. Then I went to my parents. At this point it’s 9pm and my mom is curiously still up milling around. She just wanted to watch TV with me I guess but I felt weird having her watch people explain the Dragonball Fighterz update patch so I decided to test my mom. I put on ContraPoints video essay about Envy. Would mom be bothered by a socialist transwoman talking about 1 of the 7 deadly sins? Since Natalie didn’t overtly say she was trans or a socialist it wasn’t a good test, but it was a good video even if it did put mom to sleep. I think we made it halfway through before I stopped it and she went to bed. I never got her feedback on the video and I don’t think I will ask. Is it weird that I am recounting the previous day in my journal entries….hmmmmm probably.

Work is boring and I just want the day to be over. 

[blackypanther9]

Part 30 - Prices

Loki's POV....

I was shocked. She didn't lie. At first I thought she was... I am a monster... I killed my own father, who actually loved me...

Your POV....

The next memory was the war on Midgard. The Frost Giants fled back as they saw that they were too weak. I was standing in the study of Odin, he sat in his chair. He sighed.

"We will attack Jotunheim in 3 days. Laufey won't guess that we would come and take away their casket. And if Laufey behaves I will let him live and just strip him off his powers."

"Then it is decided. I will make the warriors ready.", I sighed.

I was about to walk out.

"Destiny ?", Odin said, I stopped.

"Yes ?"

"I am sorry. I know he was your best friend with Jackson, but he did a crime."

"I know Odin."

"I just wish to know why he did that."

I froze up.

"I...I..."

'Should I tell him ? I would fall into Laufey’s back if I did... I need to do something... At least for his son...'

"I have no idea, my King.", I said and walked out.

The next memory...

I sat in a room, I guess that was my own. I meditated on my bed. We all saw my vision I had.

I was in Jotunheim fighting. I needed to kill. I didn't want to, but I had to. Suddenly I had a ice spike go through my chest. I died. I saw darkness, until I saw a little Frost Giant. Laufey’s son. I saw him getting 5 years old and then die.

"NO !", I screamed and opened my eyes.

I panted and looked around my room. I was crying.

'What do I do ? I need to save him, at least the boy.'

Then my mind snapped. My eyes sparkled.

'I have an idea. I just need him out of Jotunheim. If I manipulate Odin good enough, then he will take him and raise him.'

I frowned more.

'I am so sorry you two, that I need to separate you... Now I need to prepare a letter.'

I stood up and went to a desk and chair. I took a pen and started writing...

Dear Odin,

My King, if you go deeper into the temple, you will find something special. It is little and blue. Take it with you, please. It is such an innocent little sweet thing. Take it with you and raise it like your own. But please... when it is 6 or 7 years old, tell it the truth. Tell it, it is a Jotun. This is my last living wish of you. Please don't make me sad. Do this little thing a favor and take it with you. I will miss you all, but I hope I will return one day.

~ Your beloved General

~ Destiny Andrea Dust ~

As I was finished, I folded it and hid it.

'Now I need to go to talk with Frigga... I hope she will help me. I have the feeling that he will need Frigga the most. Don't worry Dest, she will surely help you... One day... I will reunite you two. That I fucking swear. To death.'

Next memory....

I was in Frigga’s room, I waited for her.

'Calm your nerves Dust... She will help you, you can tell her the truth. She will keep the secret and help. If I tell Odin he would do things to them, I wouldn't want...'

The door opened and closed, I turned my head and saw Frigga.

"Destiny ! You scared me. Stop your Mischief, you bad woman.", she joked.

I chuckled.

"Sorry Frigga. But we need to talk. I have a problem..."

She frowned.

"Tell me child."

I took a deep breath.

"I can't tell Odin all that. Before I start, promise me that you won't tell Odin anything, okay ? He would kill me and maybe the persons too."

"I promise, Destiny."

"Okay... I know why Laufey did, what he did. He told me. That was 3 weeks and 4 days ago. He was awaiting a son. He must be 4 days old now... The realm, Jotunheim... 60% of it can't be used. Laufey said there are living monsters and beasts, which nobody of them can kill. There where they live...they are too many and the food isn't enough. The beasts and monsters are also coming closer to them. He is worried about his son. He could die after his birth of anything and everything. The most of the Jotuns starve themselves for their kids and women. His wife didn't have enough to eat and with that, the little Frost Giant, will be much smaller than he should. That is his death."

"So...he just did that for his son. He wanted to save him. He needed another planet to have more habitats. Why didn't he ask for help ?"

"He was too scared that nobody would help him in time. I would have needed 8 years to convince Odin to help and the boy will die there with the age of 5 years. But I know how to save the boy’s life. But for that, I need you very much. I need you to do me a very big favor."

"And that may be ? Talk to Odin ? Dear, for that it is too late now."

"What ? No ! I need you to be a great Mother to the boy. I beg you Frigga. My plan won't work without you."

"How should I play his Mother ? Odin will kill him."

"No he won't. I...Frigga I will die in war and that will be my last wish. That he takes the boy here. That he raises him like his own, with Thor. Frost Giants aren't heartless. I saw Laufey cry about his son. He is scared of losing him. But if we take him here, he will grow up. He will live. He has a chance to live ! I need you, for the boy."

  Frigga smiled.

"Well...If the boy comes here, I will, of course, raise him like my own. I love kids and Thor would be happy to have a brother. The most time he would be lonely anyways. Maybe they can entertain each other."

I smiled and giggled.

"Something tells me, that they will with time. At first they will and then they won't and then again they will. They would be great together. Imagine them fighting side by side some day. They would be unstoppable. Can't wait to see that.", I said.

"Me neither. ....", Frigga told.

"What is it Frigga ?"

"How should we name him then ? I can't think about a name."

"...I have such a feeling, that he will be one for Mischief and Tricks... Why don't you call him....Loki ? Loki Odinson. I think it sounds great."

Frigga looked at me. She smiled.

"Loki. That name is perfect. I love that name. He shall have this name. But why do you think he would need me the most ?"

"Odin will probably raise and treat Thor better than Loki. I mean Thor is Odins and your biological son and Loki is then just adopted. The most people and most men, mistreat adopted kids. They mostly realize it just then, when it is too late. I need you to fight for Loki. Please. Always safe him, teach him magic, be there for him. Frigga I really mean it. He will be such a sweet and innocent child, he deserves love. He deserves to live long. Please...give him this, all of it."

She smiled at me.

"You really like the boy, do you ?"

I blushed.

"I....I promised Laufey to safe his son's life. But yes, I also like the boy. I can tell Loki will be something special. I mean he will be from Jotunheim, but grows up in Asgard and learns everything about it there. Something also tells me that he will bring much good. How...I can't tell tho..."

Frigga smiled.

"I will raise him, protect him, teach him and love him, like he is my own. I promise you that. Until my death, he will be my son."

I smiled at her and let tears fall. I hugged her and she hugged me back.

"Thank you Frigga. You are the best friend I ever had."

"You are welcome."

"One more thing..."

We pulled away. Frigga looked at me.

"What ?", she asked.

"If he wants something, which belonged to me...give it to him. Loki will need it more than I did. But never tell him about me. I have a feeling that I will meet him again. I don't want him to know me. You can tell my legends but instead of telling my gender and name...put some other in the story, who is already dead."

She nodded.

"I will. I promise you."

"Thank you Frigga. I need to go. The war against Jotunheim begins any moment. Be prepared. Loki will come today...and I will be dead. We switch places. I will come back, that I swear to you."

She teared up. She hugged me once more.

"I will miss you. I will wait for you. Do you want to say goodbye to Thor too ?"

"I would love to, my Queen."

We went to another room and I saw a little sweet boy. He turned and let his toys fall. He stood up and ran to me to hug my leg.

"Destiny !", the little boy yelled happily.

I smiled, got down and lifted him up.

"Hey little fella. What were you playing Thor ?"

"Bear fighting against rabbit ! Rabbit won !"

I smiled at him and hugged him.

"You will get a little Brother Thor."

"I will ?! YAY !"

"His name will be Loki. Be nice little one, okay ? He is one year younger than you."

"I am big Brother !", he giggled.

"Yes, you are. I want you to watch out for him. Frigga my Queen, can you always remind him on that ?"

"I will.", she said smiling.

"I will miss you all."

"I will miss you too !", Thor said.

I smiled and sat him down again.

"Until next time, little fella."

"Bye !"

As we went out I turned around to look at Frigga.

"See Loki as a...prototype. A replacement of me. And it could be that I will change my name to Luciella Dusk. If you ever hear that name, it will be me. Just don't tell anyone."

"From where do you know that ?"

"I just do. Trust me Frigga. This next time...it will be a lot different. I love you very much. You are my family."

She smiled and I smiled a sad smile at her. I opened her door.

"I need to go now... Until sometime, Frigga."

"I will wait for you, Destiny."

I smiled, walked out and closed the door.

Last memory...

I was fighting in Jotunheim. I killed and saved. After some time I saw Jackson. He was surrounded by Frost Giants.

"Jackson !"

I ran to him and got into the circle. I fought and fought. I didn't even felt someone behind me, until I heard someone gasping. I turned around and saw Jackson stabbed down.

"NO !", I screamed.

I killed all Frost Giants with an energy blast. I got down and held Jackson in my arms.

"Jackson stay with me ! You hear ?!"

"I..I do... Dest...I am scared. Am I....going to....die ?"

I saw his fear. I looked around and saw a guard.

"No not today, Jackson. Hey ! You !", I yelled.

The guard turned to me and ran to me.

"Call Heimdall and bring Jackson, as fast as you can, to the healing wing. NOW !", I screamed.

He nodded, took Jackson in his arms and disappeared in the Bifrost.

'Now it will happen any moment... Okay... Put a spell on yourself to stay 3 minutes longer alive...'

After I put the spell on myself I got stabbed in the heart. I fell to the ground.

"Serves you right, Dust !", a Giant spat at me.

"No ! Destiny ! Welnem, you idiot ! I said don't kill her !", I heard Laufey scream.

I heard footsteps coming closer to me, fast. I felt arms around me.

"Dest ?! Destiny ! I am sorry ! I didn't want to kill you ! You were my best friend. Please stay by my side. Wake up... Please...", Laufey said.

"L-Laufey... It's o-okay... Fight Odin... You...can't help me anymore... We will see each other again...I swear. Just you wait..."

And with that I played dead. He shook me.

"Destiny ! No ! Stay ! Destiny I am sorry !", I felt tears falling on me.

He sniffed. I felt him letting go of me and ran to the temple after he said with a cold voice...

"I will fight Odin. And then I will kill Welnem for you as revenge. That I swear to you."

After I was sure he was away, I pulled out the letter and put it on my sword. Then everything went black.

'I am dead, again. I am sorry...Laufey, Loki, Thor, Frigga, Odin and Jackson... I am so sorry. I hope...you, Loki and Laufey, can forgive me one day... I will be back. Sooner than you think. I swear.'

End of memories...

Part 31

Masterlist with all Chapters of this Story click here !  

[unsettledink]

Back in the days of LJ, I used to try and do a post at the end of each year, looking back primarily at fandom and fic. I fell out of the habit when everything moved to tumblr, and then it seemed like I didn’t have anything to say since I wasn’t writing or really participating any. 

But I always liked the idea of it, because I love to be overly reflective on stuff. And talk about my fic. Any excuse! I shuffled around some of the topics I used back then and added a few I’ve seen around that I liked. It got… long, because I TALK, so I split into two sections. 

*

Your main fandom of the year? 

    Marvel (MCU) for sure. Primarily with characters from Spider-Man and Iron Man movies.

Your favorite film watched this year?

    The Old Guard - I saw a couple trailers and everything about it looked like catnip. ‘It’s probably going to be so dumb, but I don’t even care,’ I thought. And then it was so good. It was so much fun and so much smarter than I expected and I loved each and every character and it just made me happy in so many ways.

Your favorite book read this year?

    Red, White, and Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston - I read it twice this year actually. It’s so… cute isn’t the right world. Sweet and hopeful and soft and comforting and intense. I liked every single character which is pretty rare. I cried during the sad parts and then again at the happy ending, like straight up sobbed - both times. I already want to read it again.

Your favorite tv show watched this year?

    Schitt’s Creek - I started it on a whim and because a lot of people had said it was good. The episodes were short so it wasn’t a huge time investment. The first season was a little rough, but there were enough funny moments that I hung on, and then… I kept getting fonder and fonder of these idiots as they grew. And THEN… it kept not disappointing me? 

     You grow to expect certain scripts, twists, jokes, especially in queer story lines. To wait for the bad thing to happen, because it always does. Instead, Schitt’s Creek kept going, ‘hey, here’s the set up for that! Guess what? We’re not doing it. Here’s the happy version instead.’ The relief of having that happen again and again - the last season I’ve watched (I’m sort of saving 6) I cried a bunch but it was always because I was happy. 

Your favorite album or song to listen to this year?

    1896 - I’ve been waiting for the new Steam Powered Giraffe album so eagerly for aaaaaages. Finally getting recordings of Zero’s songs! Lying Awake remains my favorite off the album, with Eat Your Heart and Bad Days on the Horizon high up there as well. I’m loving what Zero brings to the band.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?

    I don’t know if I really did discover that much? I stuck pretty closely to old fandoms and the ones I picked up in 2019. Maybe Zodiac? It was definitely inspiring, and I want to write and read more in it. 

    Maybe the couple discords I joined? I still really dislike discord and am not on there much, and mostly lurk when I am, but having somewhere vaguely like the comms I remember makes me feel a little less isolated. It’s the potential, that maybe if I said something I might make a friend, or someone might actually want to hear what I say. 

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?

    The Watch - I mean, I knew it was going to be a disaster with every word said during pre production. I wasn’t ever going to be happy with it. And then it came out and was even worse and uglier and … disrespectful not just of the source material but of actual people connected to Terry. I’m beyond disappointed that this is what we got, and it’s probably going to be a long time before we get anything else. 

    Devil All the Time was terrible, but I didn’t have especially high hopes. It still didn’t manage to meet them. Yikes.

The most missed of your old fandoms?

    Maybe MASH? Someone I follow started talking about it and I was reminded all over again of the wonderful fics in that fandom. I went looking and a lot are gone (still on my computer, lol, but not online), but rereading was such a trip. A slightly depressing trip, but still. 

The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?

    Hmm. I’ve kind of not had the energy to invest in other fandoms at the moment? When The Witcher was having it’s big moment back in January, I had a feeling I might enjoy it enough to fall headfirst into the fandom, so I avoided watching it. Ikr? I don’t have the time or the energy to actively seek anything out. 

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?

    SO EXCITED about Winter’s Orbit. I mean, the third Spider-Man movie for sure, with worry. The second Venom movie, ugh yes. I have tentative hopes for Jungle Cruise? Jumanji was stellar and I always enjoy Dwayne. I have both hope and dread for the new Suicide Squad - I did love Birds of Prey, so if it’s along those lines, yay. The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard because it should be some fun garbage, my favorite kind. I don’t know how I feel about Dune, but, uh, I’m anticipating it. It seems highly unlikely it will actually happen, but The Wheel of Time TV series. 

I want to be excited about Black Widow but it’s hard. It’s not the story I’ve been wanting to see, and I’m angry about Natasha not getting a movie until she’s dead.

You know. If any of it is released for real.

The Good: 

I moved to a better place. I got a better paying, better benefits, better environment job that lets me work from home. The house acquired 3-7 more cats depending on the month. I was able to get some serious problems on my car fixed. I have insurance and was able to start on some health stuff. No one I know got sick or died. I wrote a LOT.

The Bad: 

Aside from the obvious? Depression hitting extra hard during the winter. Having to put two kittens to sleep. Have my car be hit three times in our parking lot. Being driven INSANE by one of the cats for months while the vets were all closed. Kidney stone. Dealing with several health problems. Stalling for months on Gotcha.

The Indifferent: 

Not leaving the house often or easily. Enjoying a new fandom but not doing great at making connections (still real awkward, bud). Raising kittens and saying goodbye. Need new tires. Reading a lot of fic but not a lot of books. Having more pay but more expenses as well (wth insurance??). 

*

2020 fic stats

Number of stories: 39

Number of fandoms: 6? Or 2, if you cluster the others under mcu

Total number of words: 152049

Average word count per story: 4kish

Longest fic: Causality (18k, P/Q)

Shortest fic: Can’t, Won’t (1k, P/Q)

Most comments received: Sieche (49, T/P)

Fandom you wrote the most of: MCU Spider-Man - I only wrote TWO fics that didn’t feature that fandom, wow. And one of those was still MCU.

Fandom you wrote the least of: Zodiac (1!)

Events you participated in: Marvel Trumps Hate, Kinktober, IornspidersGeorg Exchange, Starker Festivals Exchange, MCU Secret Santa, Spiderio Big Bang

*

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?

    SO MUCH MORE OMG. I mean, even just counting posted stuff! (I probably wrote a solid 300k of Gotcha this year.) I did not expect or plan on doing Kinktober, so that’s a whole 31 fics right there. I also wasn’t planning on doing any exchanges - I have a History - but then I did three? And beyond that, I did not expect for everything to get so LONG.

Topic you wrote that you would never have predicted in January:

    Tony/Quentin. Goddammit @the-me09 They were like hey, they could be interesting! And while I agreed, I had no ideas for them. THEN they had to go and write Just Bodies That Collide and next thing I know, I’ve got ten fics featuring them and two-six series focused on them or Peter/Quentin/Tony. What the fuck. 

Leitmotif of the year:

    Vulnerability, I think. I had a bunch of things typed up and they all circle back to vulnerability in the end; sex, being seen, being wanted, sharing trauma, asking for help, trying something new. Offering a soft spot in the hopes it won’t be hurt. 

Favorite character to write about: 

    Tony Stark, for sure. There are just a bunch of slightly different takes, and a lot of canon to work with (kind of frustrating too though). And I’m a sucker for emotionally damaged snarky traumatized characters that are viewed poorly both in universe and out. 

Favorite kind of fic to write:

    This year? Fluff and smut combined. Maybe that’s not the right term really. I keep looking for and writing, even in the angstiest fics, for those soft moments. Sure, maybe it’s a super smutty kink scene, but I want the affection to be obvious. Maybe everyone is consumed by guilt, but I want it to be based in caring too much. Maybe there’s no real love, just sex and even that’s messed up, but I want to find that tiny bit of fondness. 

    And I want happy endings. Or endings that look like they’re going to be happy, at least, even if there’s all the angst first. I don’t think I’ve killed anyone this year? Who AM I? 

Biggest disappointment:

    Not finishing the rough draft of Gotcha. I was making such good progress in 2019, from August to December. Even after the move, I basically finished part 6 in January. I fumbled around and fussed with 1 a lot, but that had already been given one draft, really, and I got through half of 4 before I slowed to a stop. I’ve barely gotten anything accomplished on it since June. Bits and pieces here and there, but nothing significant, not like I was doing. I can excuse October, due to 80k invested in Kinktober (yikes!), but aside from that… I’m sad. I’ll finish it eventually, but I really thought I could have the first draft done in a year. I’m sitting at about 480k out of what I’m almost certain will be 700k. 

Biggest surprise:

    Kinktober! It was kind of spur of the moment, decided just a week in advance. I’ve tried month long or even like, 20-25 day long challenges and I don’t think I’ve ever completed one. I thought there was a good chance I’d do so again, so I gave myself a little help and made my own list of prompts, things I knew I liked and hadn’t done much of yet. And it worked? I actually completed it, what the hell? Despite spending five days travelling near the end! Despite falling behind in getting ahead and writing a bunch of stories the day they were to be posted! Despite apparently forgetting how to do short form! 

    I, uh, could have done without the spawning of eleven series or sequels or continuations jfc WHY SELF.

Something you learned this year:

    Ideas breed ideas. I swear to god, the second I sit down to think through a current idea, I wake up the next morning with three more. 

    Words need to be restocked. I need to consume new - not rereads, not fic - content every so often to refresh my word bank. It is astonishing how quickly writing goes again after I’ve done so.

    I can write so much more than I thought I could. I can do so much more than I thought I could. Yes, I can complete challenges without dropping out early. Yes, I can do exchanges and not regret it. Yes, I can write more than 100k, more than 200k, more and more - and I can write 10k+ easily too. Though I wouldn’t mind if I could once again write less than 10k without feeling like I’ve cut off in the middle. 

    My time is shrinking, and if I want to write as much, I’m going to have to make the time. I can’t rely on three days off a week, on seven hours of uninterrupted overnight shifts, on hyper focused writing binges that leave everything else around me on fire. 

Most memorable comment: 

    So, so many! I can’t pick one. I’ve been really lucky to get a bunch of really detailed, enthusiastic, analyzing comments across all different fics. One of the types that always sticks with me are the ones like ‘I didn’t think/know I liked this ship/kink/twist, but fuck, apparently I do? You made me, what the hell?’. 

What, if anything, are you going to try to do differently in your writing in the new year?

So with writing Gotcha but not posting until it’s done, my view of what I’ve written vs anyone else’s is extremely skewed. I’m sitting here thinking, hey I’m 400k in and got another 10k done today, so much writing! While anyone looking at my AO3 account (for most of the year) is like, you’re averaging three months between fics :(

    All that to say I want to try and get something posted more frequently while I’m working on Gotcha.

    Also, writing for kinktober was really interesting - pushing myself to write every single day, often for that day’s post, forced me to get back into shorter form fic. Which used to be all I did? But it was surprisingly hard to just stop and not write more. So I’d like to challenge myself to write more fics under 10k at least. Maybe even under 5k though that might be asking a lot lol. I might get there with the many continuations of those fics I’d like to do. Does that count?

Goals:

   I want to hit 365 fics. :) I’m only 32 away!

    Aside from writing - 

    I’ve really enjoyed the reading record sideblog I started this year. I’ve let it lapse a little the past month or so, but I’d like to keep it going strong. 

    I’d like to leave a lot more comments. I want to get better about allowing imperfection - I want to write The Best Comment, but in the end? Probably 90% of fic writers are going to be happier with a comment expressing enjoyment in any way over no comment at all. 

And not just on fics, but on general posts as well. It’s hard not to feel… weird and stupid and invasive and rude leaving any sort of comment on someone’s post if I don’t know them at least a little. I have godawful rejection sensitive dysphoria and a lot of interactions that ended poorly; I’m really not good at people. But as dumb as it feels to say those things, I know I am thrilled and warmed and happier when there’s a reblog with tags or a note or a comment or an ask or just, any small interaction that shows someone out there notices and cares, at least a little. There’s no reason I can’t at least try to offer that to other people. 

    I’d like to make/run a couple challenges of my own, later in the year. I’m still figuring out what I want to do and what I could do. I’m really interested in doing something that’s not focused on creators, but the readers; some sort of comment or rec challenge maybe.

    I want to find a cheerleader for Gotcha. I’m struggling to keep up my motivation to write it when it’s already in my head, where I can ‘read’ it any time. There’s a line between depending too much on external validation and trying to generate all your validation yourself, and I’m getting to a point where I think I need to ask for help (gasp! The hardest thing EVER). 

*

(Part Two: Pick Some Fics)

[shield-sheafson]

Chapters: 3/? Fandom: Teen Titans (Comics), Teen Titans - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Raven/Tara Markov, past Tara Markov/Slade Wilson, Background Dick Grayson/Koriand'r Characters: Tara Markov, Raven (DCU), Donna Troy, Koriand'r (DCU), Slade Wilson Additional Tags: Fluff and Angst, Romance, Past Underage, Past Abuse, Flirting, Weddings, sexually charged lipstick application, Slade doesn’t show up in the present timeline he’s just in the flashbacks, Flashbacks Summary:

Even normal things feel like they’ve been ruined: it’s been years, but sometimes Tara feels like she’s still with Slade. As everybody prepares for Dick and Kory’s wedding, all kinds of miserable feelings begin bubbling up inside of her even as she tries to have fun. To add to the stress, Raven has been acting awfully cute lately…

—

“So what’s the dress situation here?” Tara asks casually.  “Donna had bridesmaid dresses picked out by this time.  Are you slacking?”  To be perfectly fair, Tara had never worn the ruffly monstrosity Donna had given her.  She’d been too busy wandering the streets as an amnesiac.

“Tamaranians usually do not have bridesmaids,” Kory says.  She’s carefully weaving together circlets of dried flowers.  She has a pile of completed ones in the middle of the dining room table.  “Everybody participates, not just a few people.  I can not pick out matching dresses for the entire Justice League.”

“Just let Gar take care of it.”

“Do you want Gar dressing you?” Kory asks, quirking an eyebrow.

“…Good call. You seem pretty calm about all this.  Donna is going crazy.”

“Donna will relax in time.  She seems to think I want an Earth wedding.  With the DJ.”

“What do you want?”

“On Tamaran, we sing, we dance, and we burn things.  That is all I want; it would be nice to have G'larbac feathers and a torba bowl, but I do not need them to be happy.  Oh, and Dick is not allowed to speak.”

“…Nice.”

Kory puts down her flowers. “It is not as if I am not participating in the human traditions myself!  He is not allowed to look at me and everybody will throw grain.  We will do the bouquet and the garter.  I respect humans!”

“It’s– I wasn’t saying you didn’t!”  Tara isn’t ready to fight.  “…Wait, who said you didn’t?”

“I know that it is selfish to want to bring Tamaran to Earth,” Kory says, looking down at the table.  “I try to be respectful of human behavior, even when it makes me a little uncomfortable.  I do not kiss on the lips to do greeting and I laugh at the sarcasm.  But my wedding is special.  Earth is my home now, but Tamaran is where I was born.  I went to weddings when I was a little girl, and I played at them with my friends.  I want to at least have a little of that here.”  She keeps her chin high and proud, but there’s a hurt look in her eyes.

Tara isn’t sure what to say.  She’s never been any good at comforting people; if anything, she usually makes things worse.  Does Kory even need comfort right now?  She just nods her head awkwardly.

“That’s fair,” she says.  “I don’t think it’s selfish to miss where you grew up. I mean, it’s not like this is someone else’s wedding, so it’s nobody’s business how you do it, right?”

“But the guests will all be human.  Dick’s father will be there.”

“He’s rich, he doesn’t care.”

“What does that have to do with…?”

“Shh.  He’s rich.”

“I met him, he seemed to think…”

Tara leans forward and puts a finger on Kory’s lips.  “Shh.  Wealthy.”

Kory seems to accept.

—

“Fast or slow?” Gar asks, resting his chin on his hands and leaning over the table.

“Both,” Donna says.  

“Song decade?”

“Well, Kory wants Tamaranian folk music, and Dick wants pop from the ‘70s, so multiple.”

“How many dances are we going to have?  Parents’ dances, bridal party dances, anniversary dances?”

“This is complicated enough without all that stuff,” Vic says.

“Aww, embarrassed?” Tara asks.  “Scared of the boogie man?”

“That’s lame,” Gar says.  “Even I think that’s lame.”

“Kory’s parents can’t make the voyage,” Donna says.  “And Dick’s father is single, so the parents’ dance might be awkward.  I’m thinking we can arrange it so that Dick and Kory dance first.  I’ll hire a choreographer.  Then the brides’ and grooms’ parties can go, and then maybe the couple that’s been together the longest, so I’ll check the guest list and–”

Tara coughs. “That’s stupid,” she says, thinking back to her earlier conversation.  “Maybe everyone can just dance.”

“She’s one of my best friends, and I want it to be perfect,” Donna says.  “She and Dick have helped me so much all these years, so I want to help them back.”

“Still sounds like too much,” Vic says.

“Come on, it sounds fun!” Gar says.  He punches Vic in the shoulder with a clanging noise.  “We can teach you if you don’t know how.”

“I know how to dance,” Vic says, but his expression says more.  He presses his lips tightly together.

“Okay,” Gar says, standing up.  “Prove yourself.”

Tara snorts.

“You too,” Donna says, joining Gar.  “If we make Vic do it, we all have to.”

Suddenly, it doesn’t seem as funny.  While the idea of Vic being a bad dancer is amazing and wonderful, Tara isn’t able to dance either.  She’s been coasting.  This is karma.

“I’ll pair off with Vic, so it’s you and Gar,” Donna says, switching on the radio on the counter.  It’s Lionel Richie.

“Is this okay?” Gar asks quietly as he takes her hand.  “I’m not being weird, right?”

Tara rolls her eyes.  “We’re not sixteen anymore.  I think you’ve got your teen horniness under control.”

“Right.”

Off to the side, Donna and Vic are swaying awkwardly.  He looks terrified.

“Okay, do you remember how to do a box step?” Gar asks, nervously resting his hand on Tara’s back.

“Yeah,” she says, even though she’s not sure what a box step is.  She carefully mirrors his feet.

“You don’t remember,” Gar says.  “Okay, put your right foot back.”

Which foot is the right foot?  Tara makes a wild guess.  Gar shakes his head sadly.

“Hey, Raven!” Donna calls.  Tara looks over Gar’s shoulder and sees Raven shuffling sleepily into the kitchenette with messy hair and her blanket dragging behind her.

Raven looks up groggily.  “What are you doing?” she asks.

“Dancing,” Gar says.  “Vic’s low self-esteem is getting in the way of his social skills.  Tara, you aren’t supposed–”

“Hey!” Vic interjects.  “My self-esteem is fine!”

“Join the party!” Donna says.  “I think we need to switch up anyway.”

Raven squints at her, takes the kettle off the stove, and pours some hot water into a mug.

“I’m going with Gar next,” Vic says, letting go of Donna and stepping off to the side.  “Tara’s gonna be unpartnered.”

“But I’m right–” Donna begins.

“Unpartnered,” Vic repeats, looking meaningfully at Raven.  Raven presses her lips together and looks away.  

“This is stupid,” she says.  “I’m not playing.”  Tara feels a twinge of sympathy. She’s not entirely sure what’s going on, but Raven is embarrassed and Vic’s making it worse.

“Donna knows how to lead, right?” Tara asks.  “Because I only know how to… The thing that isn’t leading.”

“I’d better know,” Donna says.  “If I don’t know how to lead, then Kory’s going to be in trouble, because we’ve been practicing for weeks.”

Weird.  Kory always struck Tara as the type who would lead in a dance.  Maybe it’s just because she’s tall.

“Wait,” Raven says.  “I’ll try.”

“Man, talk about wishy-washy,” Tara says, but Raven, with unprecedented confidence, steps up to her and grabs her hand.

“You’re wishy-washy,” Raven mumbles, resting her hand on Tara’s back (electricity shoots up her spine).  

The music changes– something poppy and banal.  Raven swallows and moves carefully, and Tara, somehow impressed by her determination, follows as well as she can.

It feels very different from dancing with Gar– when she was younger, Gar excited a kind of nervousness in her that he doesn’t now (even though it wasn’t really a good feeling, it was a tangible one).  Being close to Raven is a whole new experience.  From the slender fingers that clutch Tara’s hand to the light sway of Raven’s dark hair to the smell of bitter black tea that lingers over her, Tara is oddly entranced.

Step in one direction, reverse, reverse again.  It should be so boring.  Tara can feel her heart pounding against the inside of her chest, either faster or slower than it should be.  She’s sure her hand is sweating.

“We’re going to turn in a circle now,” Raven says stiffly.

“Taking charge, I see.  Yay,” Tara says, bracing herself to either step on Raven’s foot or be stepped on.

“You’re doing a good job!”  Donna says.  Vic shoots her a look just as Tara loses focus and stomps Raven’s slipper, throwing her off balance.  They let go of each other, falling backwards a little.  

Raven takes a deep breath and turns around.  “Sorry!” she says, scurrying away before anybody else can interrupt.

After a few seconds of silence, Gar offers his opinion.  “That was kinda weird.”

“Freaky,” Tara says, still catching her breath.

—

“Fashion, fashion,” Gar chants.  He has one arm around Raven’s shoulder and one arm around Tara’s.

“It looks like you have a broken leg and we’re carrying you off the battlefield,” Raven says.

“He will have a broken leg if he doesn’t let go,” Tara says.

Gar lets go. “Can I still dress you up?”

“I’m not sure I could forgive you for doing something like that,” Raven says.  “You can dress Tara.”

“Hey!”

The consignment store is a small brick building in a strip mall alongside a drugstore and a Vietnamese restaurant.  It’s got a worn exterior and a variety of outdated clothes displayed in its streaky front window.

“Chic!” Announces the light-up sign by the glass door.  A bell rings as they open it and the sleepy clerk looks up from her counter.

“Welco– oh!” Her droopy eyes widen when she sees Gar.  “You’re one of the Titans, right?”

“Guilty as charged,” Gar says.  “Any heroes’ discounts available?”

“No,” Raven says before the clerk can answer.  “Let’s look at the books.”

“But you don’t even–”

Raven gently steers him away.  Tara follows.  She gives the clerk a little wave.

Gar stands around inattentively while Raven looks at something thick with a dusty cover.

“Wanna play the romance novel game?” Tara asks.  “You look at the ones on display and you count how many man-nipples you can spot.”

“Cowboy,” Gar says, pointing. “Upper-left corner.  Two nipples.”

“Kilt guy, bottom middle.  One nipple– maybe one and a half.”

“What are you doing?” Raven asks.

“Nothing wrong,” Tara says.  “Let’s go to the hats.”

They’re probably going to get lice, honestly.  If they just let anybody try on all these cloches, then chances are somebody covered in bugs has tried them on at some point.

“Hey, Gar,” she says.

“Mm?” He looks up from below the brim of a rhinestone-encrusted cowboy hat.

“Do you get lice, or do you get fleas?”

Just as Raven opens her mouth to deliver a scolding, Gar says, “Both.”

“Let’s go somewhere else,” Raven says, gingerly lifting the hat from Gar’s head.

Tara and Gar feel their way through the menswear section (they pet the faux-fur lining of a large and intimidating coat).  Gar’s eyes widen in excitement and he pulls out a shabby pink jacket with patches on the elbows.  He ducks down and begins covertly putting it on.

“There are dressing rooms,” Raven says.

“I look like a professor,” Gar says, standing.  His wrists poke out for a few inches and its bottom is well above his hips.

“Professor of being a bastard,” Tara says.

“It doesn’t fit,” Raven says.  “Also, Tara, stop being awful.”  Tara shrugs.

“I think it fits.”  Gar stretches his arms, pushing his wrists out further. “I’m gonna buy it.”

“I can’t control you,” Raven says.

“You know, that’s a really healthy way to approach your relationships with others,” Gar says thoughtfully as he takes the jacket off.  “Time to dress up Tara!”  He slaps a hand on her shoulder.

“I never agreed to this!  Ask Kory, she knows!”  Tara looks pleadingly at Raven, who just blinks at her like a cat.

They make their death march to the women’s section, Gar in high spirits, Tara in poor spirits, and Raven in some sort of spirits.  Tara drags behind, carefully examining every pointless thing she spots.

“Let’s get the Teen Bible,” she says.  “I really want that plush dragon.  Hey, we should…”

A silly, stupid thing.  There’s a pair of high-heeled slippers in the discount shoe bin.  The puffy feathers on the upper are clumped and ragged, and the color on the insole is worn down.

Tara stops dragging and walks a little faster.

—

A pair of pink mules with puffy faux feathers on the upper.  Tara bought them for ten bucks at the costume store (she’d also kind of wanted a Reagan mask, but she had no excuse).  She had an awkward, mincing walk when she tried them on. There was no strap around the back, so they were always on the verge of falling off.

They were another part of her grown-up costume.  She practiced walking in them in circles around her room for two hours, and hid them carefully when Gar knocked on her door looking for his rubber lizard.  She was determined to come off as mature that night.

“What do you think?” she’d asked, pointing to them proudly.

“You look cheap,” Slade said bluntly.  

Her stomach plummeted.

“It suits you,” he said.

She laughed.

—

Gar is in the dressing room.  He found a blouse, immediately labeled it as “bisexual” and scampered off.  Tara is staring at a pair of overalls, twisting the buttons of the left strap again and again. She wants it to come loose, even though Raven will probably make her take responsibility and buy the whole thing.

“What are you doing?” Raven asks from behind her.  Tara jumps.

“I’m ruining these overalls,” Tara says, turning to face her.  “I’ve almost got the thread worn down, see?”

“No,” Raven says, taking them from her.  “You suddenly got quiet and you’re making that face.”

“What face?”

“I know you, Tara.”

—

“I know you better than anyone. Don’t lie to me.”  He cradled her face gently as he said it, but all she could think of was how close his hands were to her neck.

—

“No, you don’t,” Tara says, reaching to take the overalls back.  “Stop acting like you can read my mind.”

Raven steps back, clutching them to her chest.  “You’re upset,” she says.

“I’m not.” Tara’s voice cracks a little.  “And even if I am, aren’t I allowed to be?”

Raven opens her mouth as if to say something, but she closes it again.  She looks down at the overalls.  The button is hanging down awkwardly.  “You’re allowed to be upset,” she says.  “But I hate it.”

Tara stretches her face into a sarcastic grin.  “All better!” she says.

Raven hands back the overalls without making eye contact.

“Come in and have a look!” Gar calls.

[lyz-fics]

Kageyama X FEM! Reader | CH1

CHAPTER 1

Hey Guys! Lyz Here!

Okay so no one asked for this but I’ve been writing this for a long time and I think I’ll post it now. 

Word Count:  3,143 Words

things to know:

(P/N) = Pet Name

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

—===✨🎇🎆💀🎆🎇✨===—

The ball came straight to him. Kageyama was standing at the front of the net when the ball was dug to him.

“Tobio!” you called out.

Kageyama took a deep breath, closed his eyes and set the ball behind him. When he opened his eyes he saw you, mid-air ready to slam the ball over the net right where he had planned. Your hand made a giant ‘slap’ as it hit the ball and it was sent flying to the other side of the court. The opposition’s libero dived for the ball but fell only a few centimeters short from stopping it from plummeting just inside the court line.

The referee blew his whistle and announced that the West State Warriors had won yet another preliminary final, thus sending them all to the semi-finals to enter what they hoped would be their third year at the Interstate Nationals. The team ran up to you for a hug and they all cheered as you hugged them back. The referee blew his whistle and signaled for the two teams to shake hands. Kageyama lined up at the front as he was the team’s captain and you next in line as the rest of the team insisted because you won the winning point.

“You did great today,” Kageyama complimented you as he walked past.

“We almost didn’t win,” you sighed “if I had missed that shot the point would have gone to the other team and we wouldn’t be going to Interstate.”

“It’s not about winning,” he started.

“It’s about having the most fun!” You finished. “You really are the same Kageyama from the first time I saw you.”

‘Say it! Say it, idiot!’ You thought to yourself.

“K-Kageyama I-“ you tried to say.

“Hey, (N/N),” Nishinoya interrupted “can you and Kageyama come over to the gym tomorrow morning to train for a bit? I want Kageyama to help me with my quick attacks and see if you can help me with my jump height.”

“Of course!” Kageyama said with his usual cheery smile. “Do you need a ride (N/N)?”

You started to turn red and stutter “Yeah, I- ummm I booked a hotel room but if you could give me a ride then-“

“Wait?” Kageyama stopped you “Did you book a hotel room all by yourself?”

“Yeah?” You were confused by why he was asking.

“Just come stay in my room. Daichi was meant to be here for support but bailed on me last minute so I didn’t have time to change the room bookings.” he exclaimed, “My room is right across from Nishinoya and Hinata’s because we booked at the same time so it’s going to be easier to train tomorrow.”

“Plus Yamaguchi and Tsukishima just booked their room in the same hotel so we all might be in the same flat,” Nishinoya said as he turned his attention back to you.

“Cool!” You said trying not to stutter “That means I’ll only need a lift to the hotel.”

“Awesome!” Nishinoya smiled as he ran off to join Hinata who was practicing with the others.

‘Phew,’ You thought ‘wait a minute!!! I’m staying in the same room as my little raven? Will we be in the same bed?’

“(Y/N)?” Kageyama asks looking concerned “Did you want to tell me something?”

“Ohh!” You exclaimed, ”Don’t worry, it was nothing important.”

“I’ll see you tonight then,” he said as he walked off.

‘Heh! So cute!’ Kageyama giggled to himself ‘My (P/N) stutters. God, what did I do to deserve this beautiful girl?’

The rest of the team were passing the ball around in a circle and you were about to join them when you heard your stomach rumble. You reached into the bag that you had with you and pulled out $20. You caught Yamaguchi’s eye as you were walking out and raised the money to ask if you wanted to come to have lunch. Yamaguchi shook his head politely so you took your phone as well so you had someone to talk to while you ate. You went into the reception where the diner was and ordered a salad and an energy drink and took it outside and sat against a wall as you ate.

As you ate you sets up a three-way call with (B/F/N1) and (B/F/N2). You caught them up on where they are on the ladder and who they’ll be versing tomorrow. As the chat continues it gets onto the topic of relationships.

“Any big news from either of you guys?” You asked eagerly.

“When are you guys coming back for a break?” (B/F/N2) whined, ”I miss my Nishinoya!”

(B/F/N2) and Nishinoya had been dating for the past 2 years and more often than not (B/F/N2) made it to every important game that Nishinoya played. Or even the games where Nishinoya just asked her to show up for emotional support. They both loved each other very much but this time (B/F/N2) wasn’t able to come. The Interstate Nationals were held by the schools at the end of the year and for (B/F/N2), this was during a hard time because she was trying to finish school with a good grade so she might make it into a better college. Nishinoya completely understood and was willing to put their relationship on hold for the time being so things don’t get so stressful but (B/F/N2) persisted that she would be fine as long as they came back for a visit whenever they had a free day.

“I think we have a free day tomorrow,” You said confused “they need to play the next two games of preliminary finals to see who we will verse in the semis.”

“Yay!” (B/F/N2) beamed.

“Anything happening with you, (B/F/N1)?” You asked.

“I do have some very exciting news that you might like.” (B/F/N1) teased.

“No way!” You gasped.

“Spill the tea!” (B/F/N2) screamed with excitement.

“Daichi and I are officially dating,” she said proudly.

“Yay!” (B/F/N2) cheered.

“Holy Shiz!! (B/F/N1) that’s amazing!” You encouraged “I’m so happy for you two!”

“That’s why he wasn’t able to come and be there for Kageyama.” she informed you “He chose to stay for me.”

“Awww” You cried.

“That’s so cute,” (B/F/N2) chimed in “shoot guys I have to go to dinner with my family tonight. I’ve got to go but fill me in over text when you’re done with the call.”

You hung up and now it was only (B/F/N1) and You talking. You were so interested in (B/F/N1) and Daichi now you asked all the questions you wanted answers to in one go and (B/F/N1) tried your best to answer every one of them.

“We actually started dating a few weeks back but only made it official now.” (B/F/N1) explained “He said that he likes me and of course you know that I liked him back so I said I liked him too. The next day he asked if I would like to ‘meet up’ after classes and maybe go do something. It started out a one-day thing but then we started seeing each other over the weekends. By the second week, it became Monday, Thursday and the weekends and we just made it official this week.” she told you.

“That is so amazing (B/F/N1).” You told her. “I wish Kageyama was like that”

“No way!” (B/F/N1) interrupted “Kageyama was made special for you! Whenever you play volleyball with him he brings out your confident side. He makes you the player that you want to be and you make him proud every single day. Daichi told me he talks a lot about how much he sees  Kageyama strive to be the person you want him to be.”

“(B/F/N1),” You sighed. Tears welled in your eyes as you realized that (B/F/N1) was right. Asking someone to change because you want them to be someone else is selfish. Especially if that person has already changed enough for you.

“You guys are meant for each other.” she said once again “some people find love instantly and others find it but they’re so afraid of ruining something they already have that they don’t say anything and lose everything that they have.”

“Thanks, (B/F/N1),” You said, “you’re completely right.”

“I have to go now hon but I expect to see you in person tomorrow.” You joked.

“Okay,” You giggled “baii!”

You spent the next few minutes leaning against the wall and chewing the food in your mouth. You closed your eyes and imaged Kageyama. You couldn’t help yourself, his natural body shape made him so tall and incredibly thin but he had toned muscles at the same time. He pictured his face and how his hair fell just over his eyes and his signature smile where he would face his head down and look up at the top of his eyes and give you a small grin. You heard the soft footsteps of someone walking past and thought it would just be another player from a different team or one of the referees. You opened your eyes and saw Kageyama leaning against the wall next to you. You swallowed your food and just stared down at your feet for a few minutes.

“Do you want to watch the next game with me?” Kageyama asked softly “just to see who we might be versing in the semis.”

“Sure,” You said with a smile “it would be nice to analyze the teams for strengths and weaknesses to get the advantage tomorrow.”

‘Why are you so strategical?’ Kageyama thought to himself. As much as he said just have fun he also enjoyed the times where he would just sit with You and strategize to get the upper hand. ‘You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now’

“That would be nice.” He sighed just imagining sitting next to you and just enjoying each other’s presence.

“Hey, (N/N)?” Kageyama said softly “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course,” You chirped back

‘I love you’ He screamed inside his mind ‘I have ever since we started playing volleyball together. I love how kind and encouraging you are and you don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to just pull you close to me. I want to keep you safe and I want you all to myself. I love you!’

“I...” as hard as he tried Kageyama just couldn’t get the words out of his mind. “I want to try and practice more often together.”

“Sure,” You said, “I mean we’ll be practicing with Nishinoya tomorrow so we can-“

“No!” He said a little louder. “I mean-“ he choked on his words.

‘Just say it!’ Kageyama screamed ‘it’s not that hard. You’re such an idiot!’

“Tobio?” You asked with concern “What’s wrong?”

You turned to face him and leaned in close to him. Kageyama wanted to close the distance between them so badly. He leaned forward but realized what he was doing and pulled back really fast. He pulled back so fast he knocked his head on the wall that was behind him. “Crap!” He yelled.

“Ahh! Kageyama!” you yelled. “Are you okay?”

Kageyama winced at the pain and he felt soft small hands wrap around the back of his head and face. He opened his eyes and saw you inches from his face with your arms wrapped around his head.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” He said flustered “just, hurting”

“Here put this on it,” you said as you grabbed your energy drink and gently placed it on the back of his head “it will help because it’s cold.”

Kageyama reached back and placed his hand over the can of soda and his other hand over yours. He pried the hand from his face and brought it close to his mouth. He almost kissed it but you pulled your hand out of his as you heard someone walking towards them.

“There you guys are,” Hinata exclaimed,  “Nishinoya, they’re over here!”

“Where were you guys?” Nishinoya asked “The next game has already started. (N/N), we need your help analyzing the players”

“Ohh,” You stuttered “yeah sure. I-I’m going now.”

You quickly grabbed your phone and what was left from the $20 and jumped up and quickly walked off. Kageyama just sat there stunned for a minute then he gave an angry glare at Nishinoya and Hinata.

“Did you guys kiss?”Nishinoya asked blatantly.

“Yes!” Kageyama said sarcastically

“Really?” Hinata and Nishinoya exclaimed at the same time.

“No!” He yelled at them.

Kageyama walked back into the complex giving Nishinoya a salty look as he passed him. He went into where the courts were located and went to stand next to you.

“Where are we at?” Kageyama asked with a serious tone.

“It’s the second set, Eagles won the first set and are up by a few points now.” You said as you started delving into all the strategical stuff. “Their frontcourt is strong and they play a lot of tips instead of spikes. They’ll run parallel to the net when they are going to tip it so that’s a dead giveaway. Their backcourt is a bit weaker as they tend to shuffle forwards but number 5 is really fast and she can get it most of the time. They tend to spike towards the middle of the court but numbers 4 and 6 are backcourt spikers.”

“Looks like they’re going to be tough,” Kageyama said worriedly.

“If we organize the team as usual with you and Tsukishima as the rotating setters them me and Nishinoya can play back and frontcourt spiking and Yamaguchi and Hinata can help with the receiving.” You said softly so the teams wouldn’t hear.

‘God, I love you!’ Kageyama sighed ‘why is my (P/N) always so adorable?’

“If you want to continue watching I’ll go tell the team what the plan is for the semis” Kageyama replied.

“No,” You said, “I already know who’s  going to win anyway.”

They walked past to the rest of the team and Kageyama explained how they would set everything up according to your analysis. After tossing the ball around a couple of times they heard the siren buzz to signal the end of the preliminary finals for the day. They all started gathering their stuff and heading outside so the managers could close the complex.

“I was looking at bus schedules and I found a bus that we can take to get to the hotel,” Hinata said. ”The stop is two blocks down from here and then it’s an hours ride to the hotels. Inclusive of stopping for passengers.”

The team all walked together to the bus stop and got on the bus like planned. They rode the bus all the way to the hotel and all checked in at the same time. As they all rode up the elevator they all beamed when they realized that they were on the same floor as each other. Nishinoya and Hinata ran halfway down the hall and stopped when they saw their door. Hinata practically shoved the key into the door and burst into his room. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi shared a room at the end of the hall and as Kageyama and You were walking to their room they stopped diagonally across from Nishinoya and Hinata.

“I guess this is us,” Kageyama said with a smile.

He pushed the keys to the lock and opened the door to reveal a medium-sized hotel room with a lounge room with a table surrounded by a circle of couches and an island of kitchen benches off in the background. You walked past the couches and into the next room. Inside there was a double bed and a bathroom connected to the bedroom off to the side.

You turn around and blushed as you looked at Kageyama. “Guess we'll just have to share a bed.” Kageyama blushed and turned his attention down towards his feet and just smiles.

‘Perfect’ he thought.

Kageyama looked at the clock next to the wall and saw that it was already 9:00 so he placed his backpack and small suitcase next to his side of the bed.

“It’s late,” he said “I’m going to get an early night,”

You nodded in agreement and placed your bag and suitcase on the other side of the bed and opened it to get out some clothes and go into the bathroom to change. You went into the bathroom and changed into a spaghetti strap top and some comfy short shorts. When you walked out of the bathroom you caught the last glimpses of Kageyama pulling his shirt over his head. He was wearing a white tank top and a pair of boxer-briefs. He looked up from his chest and met eyes with You. He blushed and he stared at your shorts and your thighs and hips as they come out and then dip back in to give your a slim thick figure. You blushed back as you stared at his chest and broad shoulders that give him fine, strong appearance.

Your mind screamed ‘Yes please!!’

Kageyama’s mind screamed back. ‘I want you and only you. I wish I could just play this moment on repeat forever!’

As if trying not to trip over, You walked from the bathroom to your side of the bed and climbed in. Kageyama was at a loss for words but simply just joined you in bed. Neither of them dared to turn around or even move because they knew that they wouldn’t be able to hold themselves back. As Kageyama heard your breath start to even out he gently turned himself around to face you. He leaned over and placed a soft kiss on the back of your shoulder and another one on the side of your neck. You let out a small moan his soft lips pressed against your smooth skin

“Goodnight Beautiful,” Kageyama whispered in your ear “I love you.”

You never ended up hearing what Kageyama said but he didn’t care. He moved closer to you and wrapped a hand around your waist to cuddle you. Letting out a little sigh You turned around in your sleep and nuzzled into Kageyama’s chest. Kageyama slipped a little bit of his hand up your shirt and held your back. You lifted your hands to hold the hem of his top and Kageyama heard you breathe in.

‘What the heck!! Is she smelling me??!’ Kageyama thought.

At that moment Kageyama got a whiff of your hair. The smell of boiling water and berries filled his nose and he couldn’t help but let out a muffled moan.

‘Oh shoot! You smell good too? I swear I’m going to marry this woman someday.’ He said within his mind.

He laid his head down above yours and all through the night he was dreaming of just walking through a field of flowers and berries with you. He loved every minute of it. 

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