#i missed it so gd much so i feel this
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reading this chapter i felt a light enter back into my body.. it was some kind of spiritual experience I MISSED JANE SO MUCH !!!! yes matt too BUT JANE😩😩😩😩❤️❤️❤️❤️ im so glad everythings been much better for you recently and hopefully even better in the future❤️❤️❤️❤️
THIS IS SO SWEET OH MY GOD, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I MISSED THEM TOO😭
I feel the same though. Being able to return to Jane writing-wise (cause she's now kinda always in my head wandering around) has been so amazing. I've missed Matt too, don't get me wrong (Especially TRT!Matt just because that's how I see him), but I can also at least get some Matt in Daredevil even if it's not TRT. I can't get Jane anywhere but in these stories. And it was one reason I continued thinking about it even when I had all that chaos going on. I'm just as much a fan of this world as anyone else, of Jane and all of these characters. I wasn't in a good place, and I absolutely had no brain power for it, but I still missed it so gd bad. I'm absolutely delighted to be back writing TRT again and that things are going better now. 🥰
#i missed it so gd much so i feel this#getting to crawl back inside Jane's narrative skin (and matt's too!) felt RIGHT#like#i've spent SO LONG with her and Matt and all of you have spent just as long reading TRT!#and i was so worried i'd try to dive back in and wouldn't connect but like#they were just like 'oh you're back cool let's do this' and off we went#they waited and so did we and now it's going againnnnn <3
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ENDLESS LOVE (1981) COCAINE: ONE MAN'S SEDUCTION (1983) THE FAMILY TREE (1983) A KILLER IN THE FAMILY (1983) THE NEW KIDS (1985) TUFF TURF (1985) LESS THAN ZERO (1987) JACK'S BACK (1988) SEX, LIES, AND VIDEOTAPE (1989) WHITE PALACE (1990) BAD INFLUENCE (1990) DREAM LOVER (1993) CRASH (1996) DRIFTWOOD (1997) SUPERNOVA (2000) THE STICKUP (2002) SECRETARY (2002) BOSTON LEGAL (2006) THE OFFICE (2012)
#um. just an assortment of favorite shots no correlation#I miss him taking his clothes off SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!#james spader#body#*#do I really feel like tagging all of these.#the office#boston legal#secretary#crash 1996#the stickup#supernova#driftwood#dream lover#bad influence#white palace#sex lies and videotape#jack’s back#less than zero#tuff turf#the new kids#a killer in the family#the family tree#cocaine#endless love#a gd-sent original the man of my dreams 🙏
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ok executive dysfunction is kind of ruining my life actually
#i have an incredibly time-consuming project i NEED to finish and i genuinely don’t know if i can#i’ve started which is good but i’m horrifically behind where i need to be and i’m just so overwhelmed#i technically have enough time to finish it i think? but it’s my final project so i literally cannot miss this deadline#my professor is really cool + likes me but it’s already been so long w/out me bringing it up#and wtf am i supposed to say? yeah. i WANTED to work on it. i just chose not to????? like wtf#it’s just so humiliating and i’m so behind i don’t know wtf i’m gonna do#it’s worse bc it’s an animation and it’s gg related and i really really wanted this to be good and i wanted things to be different this time#kind of funny bc i’m actually mid getting an adhd diagnosis rn but it’s just so fucking awful because i do this constantly#it fucking sucks so much i feel so helpless and i don’t know wtf is wrong with me. i’m so tired of letting everyone down constantly#it’s so bad rn i literally cannot do anything. it’s humiliating like WHY can’t i just be a functional normal person#it fucking SUCKS because i KNOW if i had any self control or work ethic whatsoever i could be really fucking successful but i don’t.#so i won’t be i guess.#and i KNOW it’s tied into a bunch of different stuff too but like gd i DO NOT care i just want to be functional#worst case scenario i have an A in the class so if i completely blow it i’ll at least pass? hopefully?#i might be able to talk my prof into an extended deadline but it’s so embarrassing bc i didn’t need one in the first place.#i have literally no excuses#it just makes me so upset because i just keep doing this over and over and i don’t know how to stop it or how to get better#and LOL sorry for posting this here i just feel weird talking to anyone personally about this (+ currently avoiding responding to messages!)#it’s just like. man if i can’t get a fucking grip i will literally waste my entire life. Oh Well! LOL
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hanging out in a room with a handful of other musicians is the most healing experience in the fucking world to me
#sasha speaks#i swear to gd it's the only group of people i know how to interact with and feel relaxed around. i know how to talk to these people!!!#and we can talk about things like the structural form of rachmaninoff 2 and performance technique in such and such concerto#and they get it!! and enjoy talking about it!! and are actually interested!! oh my gd it's the best#i miss this shit so fucking much dude. it's sad that orchestra is my Entire fucking social life at this point i guess#but i can't even be that upset about it because being around other orchestra people makes me so happy !!#it's like being at home
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#does a bear blog in the woods#just phantom period stuff fuckingbw my brain chem i think is whats going on this week !#i knew the new tfb would rip emotions outta me but im messed uppppp .#ive been single the longest ive been in a Long Time now ...#theres good and bad . theres so much cooking in my head from these few months#dealint with grief . bad job . good job now#and still working on getting my life and health togethwr#and im really trying to craft and make shit again . its So necessary for your soul and ive been neglecting#tabletop has helped so much and roleplay will too qhen i get into it#in the mean time though . im LONELY !! im in a mood where being by myself is Torrrtureeee . butnive also been overstimmed !#i was very somber earlier cuz i jusf did Not have rhe energy to be up and do shit ..wjich is why i called out#but was just thinking the thing i miss most abt a relationship is always having some1 to hang out w or be around#especially physical side cause i am very physically affectionate !!! and tryin to get back to it .#its been hard cus of well ...trauma and also the pandemic . overthinking . itd help if i cried i think#i coulsve put this all ina read more ..too late now LOL !#i just want to word vomit . been stuck in a bad nasty rude to myself feedback loop abt NOT venting and NEEDING to reach out directly#but good gd its difficult when we are All exhausted . and when i judt Need the vocal speak vs typing#if u read all this mess thank you LOL . ill be okay . ive got to let myself feel this
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finally reclaimed my old username again 😌
jimmy-jazzhands-wilson -> staarchild
#replies#i've missed being staarchild so gd much#i finally feel safe enough to use it again#that and i'm actually hosting again fdhg;fhsfg;shfd
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Tw bodycheks
Found this pic n omg
Was only a few month bk 😭💀
This was the last good pic I took of my body. I look like actual trash rn. lmao I gen look like a sad potato atm.
Can feel myself regressing bk to old habits n ngl I rly wanna go with it. I can't stand my body atm it looks soooo different
I feel like I look like a middle aged woman n I'm not even in my 30s yet
( i know it seems funny lol but when you've spent the majority of ur adult life small enough tht ppl still mistake u as a teen n u get used to tht s normal; it shakes u up when u look like an average human it's sooo fking weird my dude)
#a pic from april when id last been light started eating like an absolute pig basically#i think i’m hilarious#i rly tried being healthy n lately it just been impossible to maintain#i kept gaining lately but ive already been fasting again n all my restrict habits are coming bk#but yh i have to remind ms i looked gd at a healthy weight here#i love the dress in this pic but i cant wear it rn i litterally look all bloaty n pregnant (im not im just fat)#i feel so much shame n been letting myself stop caring about everything tht i usually do n its made ne aimless#i miss my pre recovered body sm even tho i looked all crackheady it was me n idk whos body im in rn but it doesnt feel like my own anymore#i look so different rn
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.
#i feel fucking insane#why does my chest hurt so badly#why do i miss them so much#it takes all of my will power not to spam them with messages and photos#anything that i cam send them that might get their attention#gd i feel so needy amd obsessive and kind kf pathetic#rip me ig
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just listened to The Update Song by Allegra Rosenberg for the first time and im genuinely about to start crying over it. it reminds me so much about the earlier days of the hs fandom, and i really miss that time in my life where i was reading homestuck for the first time. its such a life changing thing in a way i cant explain
#homestuck#homestuck fandom#upd8#i might actually cry over it and that makes me feel kinda silly but gd damn#its just. a really important time in my life ill never get to experience the way i did then#the fandom was definitely Pretty Bad in a lot of ways but ive never felt that connected to people before#i miss it so much
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Deep under these layers of paint sits a very different painting. A painting I started the year my aunt passed. Fun fact, she and my uncle were the very first to ever buy a painting from me. She was also the reason I got my very first booth spot at a small craft show. That initial painting was intended to be a tribute to all that support. However, grief prevented me from being able to finish and the painting sat unfinished for 2 years by my desk.
This year has not been easy. I have undergone various life changes that have left me unable to breath and utterly broken. That unfinished painting reach out to me as if it were my aunt wishing to hug me (she gave the best hugs). I found the picture on the right on her instagram page. It was the very last photo of a flower from her garden she posted.
Each brush stroke, every line and hue shift was painted with the love my family holds for me and I for them. It may just be the most beautiful thing I have ever painted.
#grief#dealing with grief#visual arts#artwork#painting#realism#acrylic#acrylic painting#iris flower#feeling emotional#I miss her so gd much#June was her favorite month#She was big on going to pride and giving 'free mom hugs'#she was an incredible human
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#my family's cat#who was littermates w/ my cat and who i adopted w/ my cat in 2019#got hit by a car last night#so now in addition to being exhausted and stressed im also sad and grieving#i Hate how grief feels how can emotion be a physical ache#anyway im fuckin miserable!#and i will miss that cat so gd much#he was such a sweet boy he was so playful#and he had the quietest meow but the loudest lawn mower purr#when he snuggled he snuggled HARD#just was such a sweet guy..#rest easy lil dude i hope if any kind of cat afterlife exists ur getting all the churus u can put ur paws on#ive decided all cats i have now and in the future will be strictly indoor cats. i cannot deal w/ loss like that bc all the unknown just..
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GOSH. The Kokin Wakashu is a compilation of Heian Era poetry called Waka. Which was the primary means of communication amongst the upper class at that time. Gojo is specifically not into the very thing Sukuna has used to communicate for who knows how long. And I don’t think Sukuna realizes that the obsessive nature in which you are supposed to read Waka (and therefore his own words) doesn’t exist in modern times.
I’ve come to the conclusion that Sukuna and Gojo is what happens when a literature arts major courts a physics major using obscure Russian poetry.
#cactus shut up#I have to update the rant. AGAIN because Wakas are written with the expressed intent the recipent reads into every little detail.#From the paper the gd kanji is written on to the handwriting is to be picked apart for hidden meanings.#I feel like I need to read the light novels again so I don’t miss this stuff in the future.#I only know this much about Wakas because of this fic I’m writing but gosh dang.#Get it together Sukuna.#sukugo
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miguel o’hara x fem! reader shower sex
word count: 796
TW: smut, nsfw, fingering, miguel is a little cutie
A/N: happy kinktober my loves, enjoy the smut, welcome to the club;)
Miguel had been quite busy recently. And when I say quite, I mean very. You two used to have sex at least once every day, but now you’re lucky if you guys can even see each other during the week. You understood it was his duty to protect the multiverse and keep it in order, but damn you’re starting to think Lyla might be more important then you.
Thats why, on one night, Miguel finally got back after being out for 4 days. You two had barely even spoken. He looked tired, as you walked up to him, hugging him softly. ‘God you look shattered.’ You said, pointing at his eyeballs. ‘Didn’t you sleep in the spare room at HQ?’ You asked, he nodded. ‘Yeah, but you know what the beds like.’ He reminded, as you nodded. ‘yeah.. pretty bad. Cmon, lets get you cleaned up. You smell like crap’ you teased, as he chuckled softly, holding your hips as you both went into the bathroom.
this had been the first time in exactly 2 weeks and 5 days you had seen Miguel naked. And god, it was like a bottle of fresh water. His tan kissed skin, his abs and muscles flexing in just the right way, his v-line looking delicious as always. it was like he was sculpted by a god. You both got into the shower, the hot water going on both of your heads, as Miguel pulled you right on top of the shower head, as you gasped and giggled in surprise. He laughed softly, kissing you passionately.
You kissed back of course, missing this sweet side of him. Its quite uncommon to see Miguel be human for once.
Things got heated pretty quickly. He had picked you up by your thighs, pinning you onto the shower wall. your hands gripped around his thick neck, as your tongues danced together. He let go soon enough, panting. ‘We haven’t.. in so long..’ He said between pants, you nodded. ‘If you don’t want to-‘ ‘I’ve been craving you for weeks, love.’ He whispered, the water still hot on Miguels back.
He kissed you again passionately, placing a finger inside you. ‘Missed this sweet pussy..’ He growled, lacing another finger inside as you gasped in pleasure. Sure you’ve fingered yourself this week thinking about Miguel, but nothing can compare to his long, huge fingers.
‘god.. mig..’ You moaned breathlessly, as he just shut you up by kissing you once again. ‘..you ready, mi amor?’ He cooed, taking out his fingers and putting his tip just on your hole. You nodded desperately. ‘please.. you don’t understand how much I’ve needed this..’ You confess, as he plunged all 8 and a half inches inside you. You moaned out loudly, gasping as you felt the same usual heat as you always do when miguel is filling you up.
‘You okay..?’ He asked, groaning. You nodded, leaning your head on the cold shower wall. ‘y..you can move..’ You said, as he nodded.
He started thrusting into your slowly, as his pace soon sped up. You moaned in ecstasy, eyes glued onto Miguel. he was a panting mess, his hands grabbing anything of you as he could. Your waist, your thighs, your tits, your neck, your hands, everything.
‘fuck.. you feel so good, sweetheart.. could stay stuck with you like this forever..’ He whispered in your er, as your lower stomach felt hot as he thrusted deeper. harder. Your mind was foggy and clouded in lust, all you could think about was Miguel and how good he ws making you feel. ‘M..Miguel.. gd feels so good..’ You whispered, whining a little. He chuckled slowly, lifting you chin to look up at him. ‘Its okay, keep your eyes on me. i’ll always be here, okay?’ He said, kissing you sloppily. ‘Always gonna be here to fuck my girl the way she deserves.’ He said between the kiss, as you moaned softly, hands trailing up and down his abs, feeling the same familiar hot coil down your stomach.
‘g..gonna.. Miguel..’ You whined, as he nodded. ‘I know. I know..’ He whispered, as he got faster and harder with the thrusts, so hard you swore you started seeing stars. You let out a loud moan of Miguel’s name, as your eyes rolled back, cumming on his cock.
miguel kept going, biting his lower lip, grunting as he groaned loudly beside you ear, mumbling something in Spanish as he came deep inside you.
You both panted together, the sound of the shower still there. You could worry about the water bill later.
You looked up at Miguel, as he kissed you passionately.
‘We’re not done yet, my love.’ He said, his voice husky and deep. god, you knew you were in for it now.
#miguel o'hara#atsv miguel#miguel x reader#miguel o’hara smut#miguel spiderman#across the spiderverse#miguel smut#miguel spiderverse#fem reader#smut#shower scene#shower miguel#i need him so badly oh my god#miguel ohara smut
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went to bed later than i wanted. woke up way earlier than i expected (i didn't have a clock in my room tho so i just got up i didn't realize it was 7:30...)
also i had an unpleasant dream and when i tried to put my contacts in this morning they Burned Like Hell. i have no idea why that's never happened before?? i just put on my glasses instead but like. waste of a pair of contacts...what the hell
#i wanna talk about me#idk. my hands feel okay and i did wash them this morning before my usual morning routine#but maybe there's like still burn cream on them and it really hurt my eyes?#even though i don't really see how that would get on the contacts themselves or stay on my eyes much...#idk. it's not like a big deal to have to discard two (2) contacts i have more. but it is really annoying to throw away two unused ones#also my dream involved being in tech week for my stupid show again (ugh)#getting sick and developing an awful ugly rash#and multiple of my long passed previous cats being back Somehow. walker and murray i miss you so much :(#anyway. gd. it's already a weird day. i might try to go back to sleep a little on the comfy chair downstairs#i feel strange. idk. and i'm still tired.
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Round 7 of The Hottest 80s Bands Tournament
Queen
Defeated opponents: Green Day, Earth, Wind & Fire, The Psychedelic Furs, R.E.M., Duran Duran, INXS
Formed in: 1970
Genres: rock, glam-rock, hard rock, pop-rock, pop, disco
Lineup: Freddie Mercury- vocals
Brian May- guitar
John Deacon- bass
Roger Taylor- drums
Albums from the 80s:
The Game (1980)
Hot Space (1982)
Flash Gordon (1982)
The Works (1984)
A Kind Of Magic (1986)
The Miracle (1989)
Propaganda: “HAVE YOU SEEEEN THEMMMM???? these men never lost their looks as they aged. smoking hot 20 somethings to smoking hot 40 somethings. in their own words, "we was glam" and "we were all stunning". all four had impeccable style choices 99% of the time, from leather jackets and wraps to monochrome to undone blazers and ties to brightly coloured /everything/. Deacon changed his hair style every few years and even in just tshirts and booty shorts, never missed. Roger had a sleazy mullet and sunglasses for what felt like forever, hot Persian dad, did not miss. Brian forgot how to fully button shirts. bell bottoms. same hair for 50 years. no misses. even after Freddie got sick and started wearing makeup and had to grow a beard to cover up, MAN NEVER FUCKIN MISSED. he was beautiful to the day he died. and thats not even touching on the leather daddy look from the early 80s.king shit. we love wrinkles and laugh lines in this gd house. if they don't sweep I’m blowing this whole website up we was glam”
“a few years back i was obsessed with these guys and i would find it hard to not have a crush on all of them. in the 80s especially Brian was GORGEOUS.. BEAUTIFUL”
Depeche Mode
Defeated opponents: Anthrax, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, The Kinks, Wham!, Joy Division, Warrant
Formed in: 1980
Genres: Synth-pop, electronic rock, new wave, dark wave, alternative rock
Lineup: Dave Gahan - vocals
Martin Gore - guitar and keyboard
Alan Wilder - drums and keyboard
Andy Fletcher - bass
Albums from the 80s:
Speak & Spell (1981)
A Broken Frame (1982)
Construction Time Again (1983)
Some Great Reward (1984)
Black Celebration (1986)
Music for the Masses (1987)
Propaganda: The music. The LOOKS. The voice. (The sexual tension?) And they’re still going strong. My colleague saw them in the UK when they were only starting out and said they were so nervous. I find the juxtaposition of the confidence of their sound (not to mention the black leather) and that anecdote really endearing.
idk how much this counts as propaganda but I feel like it's very important to acknowledge that Depeche Mode specifically makes kinky synth for bisexual sluts. Like that's it, that's the band. They even managed to make their cover of "(Get Your Kicks On) Route 66" sound like it's about selling ass on the interstate. Slutty legends.
Visual propaganda for Queen:
Visual propaganda for Depeche Mode:
#Round 7#queen#queen band#depeche mode#freddie mercury#brian may#john deacon#roger taylor#dave gahan#martin gore#alan wilder#andy fletcher#the hottest 80s band tournament#the hottest 80s band tourney
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i know you've been talking about jason lately so i'll ask about smth different... robin jason (sorry)
idk idk lately i've been wanting to take a peek at his robin comics for the sake of writing fic (ofc...) but i'd like to hear what u think before that, a summary of sorts if u may (i also wanna contrast what u say with what i get out of it so yeah)
i feel like his robin days are so muddled by his identity as red hood later on, and even before that it was his death. u had people constantly blaming jason for dying in text (or else they'd have to admit bruce can make mistakes and everyone in dc is allergic to doing that) and painting him like someone reckless and violent (classist editorial u need to DIE), and then people in fanon painting him like a sweet fella who would do nothing wrong and as well as being bruce's Only Actual Son etc etc for the sake of making the situation around him all the more sadder (yeah yeah pathetic meow meow we've all seen it)
and i'm just curious bc i rlly wonder what the actual comics say about him, most likely something in the middle of this? exams are killing me but my god i'll come back to life after im done just to read jason robin's days... have a good day !!!
the difficulty with reading about jason as robin is that there are three primary periods that all differ fairly dramatically from each other — pre-crisis jason todd is a strawberry blond acrobat who’s almost adopted by dick grayson before becoming robin; post-crisis jason todd is a kid from crime alley who steals the wheels off the batmobile before becoming robin; and post-crisis, post-utrh jason todd is a very angry, very violent kid who becomes a cautionary tale after he gets himself killed (something he is often blamed for).
we can walk the line here. pre-crisis jason isn’t particularly relevant because so much of robin!jason’s stories depend on his reinvention after the reboot. all the crucial factors leading up to death in the family — growing up in the alley, both his mothers, his relationship with the robin mantle, his developing relationship with dick grayson, his slow schism from bruce, his relative isolation from other superheroes — are all crucial to who he is, especially after his death.
fanon about jason is annoying because there are valid criticisms that can be made about how he’s written with regressive, classist stereotypes, but as always it pivots way too far in one direction. jason wasn’t the “happy” or “angry” robin in the same way that dick wasn’t the happy or angry robin — they’re both characters that possess more than a single emotion. it’s true that jason was later written to be more explicitly violent (to contrast him with dick) but also like… they’re both pretty similar characters that differ in interesting ways. dick created robin to be a symbol of hope and joy. jason carried that on when he took up the mantle. they can both be angry at stuff without the world falling apart. it’s not that serious.
the dialogue about dick being a child soldier but jason being the true son makes me want to tear my hair out. jason became robin because bruce missed dick and was afraid of being alone. they’re both his gd kids. acting as though bruce wayne doesn’t love dick grayson so much that extra-dimensional beings can clock it is so fucking stupid. it once again ties into fanon’s obsession with each character only getting to be “one” thing. tim is smart, which means he’s the smartest. jason said robin made him magic, which means he’s happy all the time. dick chased after zucco in a grief spiral, which means he’s the violently angry one, with no other character traits. dick can’t have been nice to jason because he’s nice to tim, etc. seems a little silly, no?
i think i’ve only read jason’s brief run as robin once, though ive gone through a death in the family + a lonely place of dying a bunch of times, so ig my advice for reading him is to keep in mind the context in which he was created. dc comics was reeling from losing dick grayson as robin, and were really throwing anything at the wall to get something to stick. many, many negative tropes are baked into his introduction, and thanks to writers like jeph loeb and scott lobdell they have compounded over time. jason’s updated backstory is, with actual critical intent by the writer, a really good examination of how poverty and class will affect how someone views the world. his death was not his fault — and removing sheila haywood from that warehouse purposely makes his story less tragic. he was a good kid! and he was angry for a good reason. if jason had lived, i believe he would’ve carried on the robin tradition and left bruce behind once their differences became insurmountable.
#jason as robin: baby. jason as red hood: really really annoying#jason todd#red hood#batman#bruce wayne#dc comics#the ask and the answer
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