#i miss when i slept so early i couldnt even have any thoughts and woke up at 5 to a beautifully pale blue dawn and took walks

[ableedingpromise]

Panicking

[arthurflecksgirl]

Imagine giving Arthur a clown soft toy🥺

Plushie clowns and happy tears 

was a Headcanon I wrote a while back. It was one of my first I think.

I`ll copy it in here:

* When Arthur was still a little boy he had no toys at all. Penny didnt have much money and she wouldnt try to get him at least even one single toy. He knew that toys existed, though. He saw other kids on tv playing with teddy bears and plastic cars. Little Artie always looked at them with a heavy heart. He wished so much for  just one toy.

*When he would ask Penny if he could have one, she would always say that she is poor and can`t afford such unnecessary stuff. That he didnt needed toys anyway, because he was already such a happy boy.

*Arthur wasnt happy. And watching the kids in the movies playing in their bedrooms made him even sadder. He didnt had his ow bedroom eighter. He slept on a matress in the corner of the living room, right beside the radiator. He always thought it would help him a lot to have something to cuddle with while lying there. Stuffed animals were his faves. No one ever hugged him, so at least he would have something to hug and cling on.

* Sometimes he wished for a present from his mum on his birthday.  But it never happened. No one ever mentioned his birthday. Some years he even forgot his birthday himself. It was like it doesnt even existed. It was like HE doesnt even existed. He just wished Pennys boyfriend also thought he didnt existed. But he did.

*One day, when he got hurt by Pennys partner again, little Artie would run away from home. Running down the streets in Gotham city. He didnt knew where to go to. He wished he had a friend, but he was all alone in the world.He thought that  If he had a friend right now, he could go there and maybe he or she would have some toys to play with together. Maybe even a teddy bear.

*Gotham was a very ignorant city. They didnt even noticed the little kid running around without his parents. Arthur sat down on a bench. He wanted to cry but he couldn`t.  He felt the urge to cry so many times, but it was difficult for him to make the tears come. So it was just a feeling of being chocked. No one could see how he felt inside. That he was getting short of air.

* After the air came back again he would walk down the streets and find a junk market. He saw one of those markets before when Penny neeeded a new jacket. It was people seeling their old stuff for a cheap prize. Arthur walked through the pretty crowded place. Many clothes and books. Sometimes he watched people buying stuff and looked at the differents things with curiousity. But he never dared to touch or ask for something.

*After fiveteen minutes of pushing himself through the crowds he would see the most colorful tables of them all. It had stuffed animals, plastic cars, puzzles, games and other  toys all over. Arties couldnt belive his eyes. It was so beautiful. He made a stop right there, staring at the teddy bears.

*The old woman sitting behind the table looked at him and asked him if he lost his parents. He didnt answered. All his attention was focused on green hair sticking out between the different teddy bears. It chatched his attention right away.

*“I see you are looking at something?” the woman asked. Arthur pointed at it “Does that one teddy bear have green hair?”. The lady smiled “Oh no, thats not a bear.” Her hand was reaching out for it and she pulled out a small plushy clown with yellow vest over  a checkered jacket. Arthur loved the huge, curly, green hair and his painted face.

*The old lady showed him the plushy “He`s got one big, smile,huh? He was always my fave but I am getting old. I dont need him anymore.”

*Arthur kept in staring at the small clown. There was something about this toy that made him feel less sad when he was looking at it. The woman asked him one more time if he was all alone here. And Arthur told her that he ran away from home, which alarmed the woman right away. She told him that he cannot walk around Gotham all alone. That its a dangerous city for a small kid like him.

*The old lady touched the hair of the plushy clown. “Would you promise me to go back home if I give you Mr. Clown?”. Arthur nodded sadly “But I dont have any money”. “Thats okay, little boy. Just please go back to your parants,okay?” Arthur nodded one more time as she handed him the clown.

*He felt something that must have been joy when he held the clown in his hands. He touched the fabric of the clowns clothes and looked at his big smile. He looked up to the seller “My mum always tells me that I should put on a happy face”.

*“See?” the lady said “I am sure your mum is already worried about you. Hurry up!” And as litte Artie said thank you for the present and turned around to leave the place, the old lady ran after him and told him “Hey, little boy, just to let you know. His name is carnival”.

*30 years later

*Arthur was having nightmares again. He woke you up in the middle of the night, just like you told him he should if the nightmares wouldnt leave him alone. And it would happen a lot.

*You told him that its okay and turned on the lights. He was covered in sweat, his brown culs hanging heavy upon his forehead, dark bags under his eyes. He was even having trouble breathing a bit.

*You wrapped his arms around him tight as he was kneeing on the bed. Usually there were no words needed. Hugging him was enough. He just needed human connection. Something he never experienced in his childhood.

* He told you that it was memories of his childhood again. He wasnt sure which part of his nightmares were based on true memories and which ones were just stuff his mind made up while sleeping. He always had this one dream about his only toy being taken away from him. A small, plushy clown he found at a junk marked after running away from home. He didnt even remembered who it was that took th plushy away from him, but the pain of losing his one and only toy was unbearable for little kid Artie. It wouldnt even leave him alone 30 years later.

*After you managed to calm him down , he would crawl back under the sheets again, pressing the pillow against his face to build a shelter.

*The next few days you thought about his memories a lot and wondered how you could help him with that. You might not be able to change the memories but maybe there was a way to comfort him. And suddenly soemthing came to your mind. What if YOU would make him his own clown plushy all by yourself? He told you so many times how his old one looked like and you were really good in  knitting. So maybe you should give it a try?

*You started to knit a small clown the next day. You had everything you needed for it. There was just some meterial missing that you needed for his clothes,so you bought some fabric to make sure it would look like the plushy he discribed. It took you some days and you were hiding your work in the wardrobe between your sweaters to make sure he wouldnt find it before its finished.

*You were really excited about the thought that you might make him happy with the clown plushy. Knitting it for him made you happy,too. You put all your love in it. Thinking about kid Artie always made you sad but now he wasnt alone anymore. He wouldnt be alone ever again. You loved him with all your heart and you would never leave him alone ever again. He knew that.

*As the clown was finished you looked at it and felt satisfied with the result. His smile was big and bright red. You even managed to make the green hair look real puffy and curly. The jacket looked a bit big on him but you thought this would be just right.

*Early in the morning after you made some coffee, when Arthur was still asleep you tip toed back to the bed and placed the plushy right beside his pillow, so he would see him right after he wakes.

*You sat beside him on the bed, sipping your coffe, reading a book and twenty minutes later he started moving, mumbling something you couldnt understand, before he opened his sleepy eyes.

*You touched his messy bed hair “Hey, my love. Good morning”. Arthur immediately saw that there was something lying beside his head. He asked you what it is and reached out for it.

*You could never forget his face when he saw what it was. He wanted to ask you where it came from right away, but he couldnt say anything. He just looked at the small clown. And at you. And back at the plushy. His eyes watering, tears of happiness running down his cheeks, as he pressed the plushy close to his naked chest.

*You crawled up to him, laying your loving arms around his fragile shoulders “I hope it just looks like the clown from your childhood, Artie. I knitted this one for you myself. I thought you need your little friend again”.

*Arthur pressed the clown even closer to him, he was crying so hard. “I don`t know what to say” he whimpered. “This makes me so happy. YOU make me so happy. I don`t deserve it.” He smiled between the tears “Look at his big SMILE!”. He gave you a sloppy kiss on the lips. His face wet from crying.

* You kissed his salty tears away. One by one. A taste of his happiness. The happiness he deserved so much.

*Arthur took a close look to every detail of the plushy. “He is holding a sign with his name on it!” he said.

*Yes Artie, he does. Remember you told me the name of your childhood plushy? I didnt forgot.

*Arthur`s smile grew even wider than the clown`s smile. His eyes lighted up as a single tear fell on the plushy´s sign which said “MY NAME IS CARNIVAL”.

------

So yeah....

Oh my god, Arthur would be the cutest when receiving a clown soft toy or a plushie. He would be so moved. Artie is a little boy at heart and he deserves to get all the things he never got when he was a kid.

He would be in tears. Happy tears. I often imagined this. I think he would hug it all night long when you wouldnt be home.

I would definitely give him one!

[artificialqueens]

Pulling Leaves Off Trees, Chapter 1: Been Through the Wringer a Couple Times (Multi) - Sportkuras

Summary:

c’est bon: damnnn

c’est bon: wait. jan isnt your apartment near shea’s

human girl: @jansport spill

Jan could feel her stomach drop as she looked at the message.

“Oh, goddamn it.”

—

Or: The girls try to survive college, and everything else that comes with almost being an adult.

A/N: my first fic here on artificialqueens! i noticed that arent many college au’s and group chat fics of the s12 cast so i let myself be self-indulgent for once!! its unbeta’d so apologies lmao but you can talk to me here and you can find the ao3 link here! comment if you’d like!

***

Jan started her morning like almost every college student in their third year would: to be woken up by their alarm after a night of heavy drinking. She woke up with a start and groaned as Chromatica II started blaring from her phone, blindly reaching for it on her nightstand and peering at the time.

Damn. One in the afternoon, huh?

“Thank god I don’t have class today.” The blonde muttered as she checked her notifications: 7 from Twitter, 3 from Insta, and 1 from their group chat. She sat up from her bed and scrolled through the chat, trying to quell her pounding headache.

Bon Voy

Members: jaidaessencehall, heidininacloset, jansport, jackiecox, gigigoode, crystalmethyd, britafilter, dahliasin, nickydoll, aidenzhane, and widowvondu

lebron essence ball: okay so

lebron essence ball: me and shea are at the library rn and she’s complaining to me abt how she couldnt sleep right

lebron essence ball: and chile….it was bc someone was getting RAILED last night lmaooo

lebron essence ball: she said, and i quote, “the bitch had such a good time even I’M jealous”

c’est bon: damnnn

c’est bon:wait. jan isnt your apartment near shea’s

human girl: @jansport spill

human girl: also

human girl: feels weird that we didn’t start this day with a good morning announcement from jan

c’est bon: the vibes were off 😞

Jan could feel her stomach drop as she looked at the message, “Oh, goddamn it.” She’s now acutely aware of their apartment door opening and Rock’s footsteps padding from outside her room, most likely just coming home from her class. She suddenly remembered exactly what happened last night; most especially memories of what happened between her and her roommate . Memories of them being drunk as hell, coming back to their apartment from god knows how many bars, going to Jan’s room giggling like teenagers on a sleepover and well. You know.

Jan checked her phone again.

lebron essence ball: jannette….would you happen to know who was the lucky gal? 👀

backpack backpack: good morning to you too gigi 🙄

human girl: *Afternoon, actually

human girl: Now spill! I know you know almost everyone on that floor.

She pinched the bridge of her nose. How in the hell was she gonna say that her and Rock got drunk and hooked up as casually as possible? She could lie, but Jaida, Brita and Widow could smell bullshit coming from a mile away, and she’s a horrible liar. They’d know she was bluffing.

Might as well get it over it. She let out a sigh as she typed out a message, hoping that it was only Jaida, Nicky and Gigi who were online.

backpack backpack: haha yeah so um

backpack backpack: that was me & rock actually

Even though no one could see her, Jan hid her face behind her hands, bracing for the worst. Several dings!  had come from her phone as soon as she sent the message. Of course it wasn’t only Jaida, Nicky and Gigi who were online.

cox destroyers: Oh my god.

Jan’s eyes widened when she saw Jackie reply, although she’s not quite sure why she was panicking about Jackie knowing about her hook up with Rock in the first place. All she knows is that she’s gonna have to face Jackie (and everyone else, for that matter,) later.

sin city: ohhh bitch—

c’est bon: you and ROCK???

dom top: !!!

dom top: idk who Rock is but get it sister

backpack backpack: Thank you! Thank you, Heidi. It’s like you’re the only one who’s not acting weird right now.

c’est bon: lmao heidi

c’est bon: she’s jans roommate

human girl: Janice Elizabeth Sport.

von du for two: not this shit again i swear to god

tap water: Jan.

tap water: You know that I love you

tap water: BUT WILL YOU PLEASE STOP SLEEPING WITH YOUR ROOMMATES

Jan rolled her eyes at the messages, wanting the ‘news’ to be over as soon as possible. “And they say I’m the dramatic one.” She huffed as she quickly typed on her phone again.

backpack backpack: okay can y’all chill 🙄

backpack backpack: we just got drunk and slept together, that’s all.

backpack backpack: tell shea im sorry though xxxx @jaidaessencehall

lebron essence ball: bitch you know it ain’t about having a drunk hookup with someone

lebron essence ball: its about the fact that you banged your roommate AGAIN

backpack backpack: oh COME ON

backpack backpack: this was just the second time!!

backpack backpack: and lemon’s with priyanka now!!!

von du for two: girl you & lemon were fucking almost every week i can’t with u

von du for two: going at it like rabbits while we were outside your apartment getting ready to watch glee :/

tap water: and, frankly, i don’t want to come up to your apartment to run lines with you if i have to hear y’all fooling around. my good, christian ears have heard enough.

She felt her face heat up in embarrassment.

backpack backpack: oh my god can you guys please shut up!!!!

backpack backpack: it’s not gonna happen again bc it was a one time thing

backpack backpack: i promise

human girl: [dwayne the rock johnson voice] are you sure about that?

backpack backpack: yes georgina goode i am 100% sure

Jan bit her lip as she looked up at the door to her room. Okay, she’s not 100% sure, but not because she regretted it or anything. As much as her brain was allowing her to remember, last night was good. Great, even. But between auditions, college, and working in the café, her love life (or lack thereof) is on pause for now. Besides, it’s not like anyone has been actively pursuing her, or vice versa.

But it wouldn’t hurt to ask Rock, right?

Sighing in defeat, Jan quickly got up from her bed with her phone still in her hand (as much as her hangover allowed her), left her room and knocked on her roommates door, hoping that she wasn’t busy. She heard a faint “come in!” from the other side and opened the door softly.

“Hey, roomie.” She joked.

Rock looked up from her drawing tablet and slipped off the headphones from her ears. “Glad to see you’re finally awake, and here I thought you were a morning person.” Rock’s room was a mess of color and paraphernalia; while Jan’s was strictly purple, pop culture, and musical theater, hers was an array of figurines and albums on the shelves, kpop & anime posters tacked on the wall behind her bed reaching up to the ceiling, and a somewhat decent gaming setup in the corner of her room. Crystal and Nicky would be proud.

Jan rolled her eyes, “Yeah, well, last night was something,” She slightly cleared her throat at the mention of last night. “Also, about last night…”

Rock raised her brow, “Go on?”

“It was a one time thing, right?” Jan furrowed her brows in question, “I mean, last night was amazing , as much my brain is allowing me to remember. And you’re hot, so, I’m not complaining. Really dig the anime e-girl vibe, and I’m sure anyone would tap that ass! I mean, I did, but I’m just—”

“—Not looking for anything right now?” Rock cut her off, saving Jan from turning into a hungover, rambling mess.

She let out a sigh of relief, sitting on her roommates bed and putting her phone down, “Yeah, doll. Just been really busy right now, y’know? 3rd year isn’t a joke.”

The pink-haired girl let out a snort, “Oh, I know the feeling. And don’t worry, I wasn’t looking for anything either, and while last night was fun,” She looked at her pointedly, and Jan was calm enough to actually smirk at the incident between the two, “I’d much rather have you as my friend than as my fuck buddy, because you are loud , girl!”

Jan shrieked at that, “Oh my god, shut up!” She threw a pillow at Rock’s head while the girl let out a cackle, “My friends were on my ass about that too, some friends they are.”

“Wait, you told your friends about that? Aren’t you friends with Nicky?”

Jan huffed, “Mama, more like I was forced to tell them. Jaida’s friend, Shea—whose apartment is next to ours, by the way—was complaining to her about how she couldn’t sleep last night because of, um, my tendency to be vocal.”

“You’re welcome, by the way.”

“Rotted bitch!” Jan threw another pillow at Rock, this time missing because the girl was doubled over in laughter, “I can’t believe you! The disrespect, really. I shouldn’t be taking this from you, I still have a shift to do at 3.”

“But you took it from me real good last night, so,” this time Rock shielded her face as Jan threw pillow after pillow at her, trying to speak through her laughter, “Okay, okay! I give, I give! I’m sorry, mom!”

“Bitch! I can be a top if I want to!” Jan exclaimed in mock offense. As their laughter subsided, the blonde suddenly had an idea, “Oh! What if I invite you over for dinner?”

Rock smirked, “One: we’re roommates. It’s not really inviting me to dinner if we eat in the same room. And two: I thought you said you weren’t looking for anything?”

“I mean dinner with my friends, gorg. All 11 of us eat together at least once a week, this time we’re gonna crash at Heidi, Jaida and Brita’s. Maybe you wanna come and meet them? I know you and Nicky know each other somehow, so it wouldn’t be too awkward, right?”

“Introducing me to the family already? Ain’t that a bit too early for you, Ms. Sport?”

“More like introducing you to a bunch of kindergartners,” Jan muttered as she checked her phone for any new notifications, “But yeah, I want them to know you as my roommate and friend , not as my roommate who I slept with.”

Bon Voy

dom top: okay so jans sex life aside

dom top: y’all are still coming over tonight?

sin city: yes girl!! college sucks ass sm i need to eat my feelings

c’est bon: wouldn’t miss it for the world mon ami xoxo

cox destroyer: I’m gonna be a little late! I just have to return and borrow some stuff in the library.

human girl: can we please order pizza hut <3

lebron essence hall: no <3

von du for two: we are going to order dominoes like civilized people

human girl: ugh fine, all of you have 0 taste

human girl: crys said yes btw she just has class right now

tap water: aiden said she’s gonna come too, she just can’t message the chat bc she’s still in her shift

Jan grinned at Brita’s message, finally getting the chance to steer the conversation away from her.

backpack backpack: So if she can’t message the chat because of her shift, why’s she messaging you, miss brittany filter?? 👀

Jan can feel Brita’s eye roll from miles away.

tap water: She speaks!

tap water: And don’t act like this conversation isn’t over, Miss Janice Sport. You have a lot of explaining to do.

“So, are ya gonna introduce me as your forbidden, but passionate lover? Whose romance was short-lived, yet wild, fiery and unforgettable?”

Now it was Jan’s turn to let out a cackle as she left Rock’s room, “More like my chaotic mess of a roommate who farted herself awake!”

This time it was Rock’s turn to gasp in offense, “That was one time and you fucking know it! And my answer is yes, by the way!”

Jan sent a message to the chat before grabbing her towel and putting her phone away to take a shower.

backpack backpack: oh btw i’m inviting rock to hang out with us!!! I promise she’s super fun and that we’re just roommates and see y’all soon please dont kill me or make it awkward with rock xxxx

tap water: are you

tap water: kidding me.

von du for two: oh for the love of GOD

***

[pbandjesse]

Another day I went home early. I wish I could just stay home. I wish they would just put us in lockdown again. I watched the Governer's press conference and it was infuriating. Said all the things that are going bad but didnt put in any more restrictions. Its ridiculous. But besides that today wasnt a bad day at all. 

I slept alright. I woke up a few times because I keep losing all my blankets and then Im cold. But it wasnt bad sleep. Getting up was just a little hard. 

I got up and dressed and while my hair was a little bit weird today, I felt cute. I packed up my craft bag and James packed my breakfast. And off I went. 

It was drizzling a little when I left but it was a pretty day. Just very cold. But thats alright. I should have worn a scarf by I had my cashmere sweater on and that was great. I just hate that it needs to be drycleaned. 

Another day with no kids. They think everything will be back to normal for the most part tomorrow. Well see. I spent the morning cleaning and writing up a plan for activities if the kids dont have access to their work but still come. But well see. A family called today but when we told them we couldnt help with the computer and so they decided to stay home. 

So I spent the morning sewing. I finished 4 frogs. I did some typing. I made my shop posts. And then it was 1030 and I was bored!!! I was alone and I wanted to go home. 

So I talked to Clifford and he said he thought he could handle the crowds of people and that tomorrow hopefully we would be back to normal. Silly man. We actually had a really nice conversation first thing this morning. He's a really nice person and really smart. 

I headed out though. And it was cold but beautiful. And so I decided I would get five guys and take a drive. And thats what I did. 

I got my food and ate in the car. Listened to a silly podcast.  It was a nice time. 

I ended up driving to a goodwill I had never been to and it was pretty good. I got another house shelf. I would start to paint that and the other one to match the one mom got for me later tonight. I also got a book about cute mobile homes and 2 adorable winter dresses. One is grey with long sleeves and the other in like a black plaid with a keyhole chest detail. Both are so cute. 

I wandered around there for a bit though. And when I was done I decided I would go home. And was back around 1230.

Lana called me and we talked about how we had no kids. And how a lot of staff had been leaving early but apparently some sites were complaining because the contract is for us to be there all day. Even if there are no kids. Which is so batshit I wasnt even going to argue. But my site isnt one that complained so Im not to worried. Like honestly who cares. Well have kids again and then I will have purpose again. 

James was still home. And he showed me some games he bought for us. I played animal crossing for a few minutes. Its december and were getting ready for "Toy Day" on the island. I am said our dog, Bones, moved, but tomorrow my new sheep will be there and Im excited for that. 

Soon James had to leave for work though. I got myself into some work. Some cleaning. I was just in a good mood. 

I decided I was going to donate all my profits from black friday to something and found that very serendipitously and then I was on a "I Dontated Money" high. Just all cheery. I love that feeling. I dont know how rich people arent always doing it because it feels great. 

 So I was in a great mood. And I did some painting of the house shelves and was in a good mood until the stupid press conference. I just want us to all get $3000 and be put in lockdown. Its soo stupid. Its so frustrating. And then I went on twitter to see reactions and morons were just upset that the new health director said we need to make masks the new normal and they were like. NEVER!!!! Ugghhh. 

I had the other half of my sushi burrito for dinner. I made sweetP a new collar. Still cant find his ID so Im looking into ordering a new one on ebay but Im waiting for a response about an engraving question I had. I did a little organizing. I put the space heaters on and I went through my closet. I put a lot of stuff away. I tried to be pragmatic and realistic about what I want to be wearing right now. Almost all black. Mostly cropped sweaters. Cozy to the max. I also decided to buy a cheap garment rack so I can more organize things. I miss my walk in closets. But I am going to make something work for me. Having less things in the closet helps make me feel better though. My storage trunk is pretty full but its basically all stuff I still really like and Im really happy about that. Doing pretty good in that vein. 

Now though I am in bed listening to breadtube and thinking about taking a bath. I want to wash my hair and then paint my nails. Just take care of myself all nice. And then James will be home and we will go to bed and tomorrow I hope to actually have students! Well see. 

I hope you all have a nice night. Take care of eachother. Goodnight. 

[michaelreaderreblog]

My truemate pt20

Another part is finally upon us and finally being posted. I hope you all will enjoy. To catch up on the rest of the series, you can click on this link My Truemate

************************************************************

Word Count: 3,187

Chuck asked Naomi’s father for his blessing to claim her as his mate.

Chuck taught his boys the same when the right mate came along and thankfully Michael remembered that tradition.

He has always wanted to keep that alive and pass it along to his boys when he and his mate had pups together.

It didnt matter if they were Alpha or Beta. He wants to teach his future pups manners, respect and accept people for who they are and not the biology they are.

“I always thought who ever y/n's mate would be would ask Bobby that, since he is basically like a father to us and always have been there for us when we needed him. Bobby has always looked at y/n as his own along with Sam and I. But um since he isnt here yet and I am pretty sure he is going to love you, then yeah you have my blessing to claim my baby sister as your mate” Dean says looking between you and Michael with a fond smile on his face.

“I thought it would be appropriate to ask Dean since he is the older brother and older Alpha. You also have my blessing to claim our baby sister as your mate” Sam adds in while looking to you and finally to Michael.

Everyone in the house begins to tear up at the sudden pre-claiming ceremony thats in front of them.

As everyone went home one by one is when you thought it would be the perfect time to start cleaning up the kitchen and start on the dishes.

Michael sees you in the kitchen and excused himself away from your brothers, his brother and Sarah.

“Need any help with the dishes?” He asks leaning against the counter.

“Yes please. I think it would be faster if someone would help” you answer him with a smile on your face as you continue washing the dishes and placing them into the rinse water.

“About this completing the bond, we can do this another time if you want” Michael says as he puts the dishes away in their rightful places.

“No, Im more then ok with completing it tonight. If you dont mind?” you ask while adding in the pots to the wash

“Yeah we can go home after this and I can give you time to collect a few of your things before we leave from here” Michael agrees as he looks to you.

You like the idea of going home with him, finally.

“Hey Dean, the dishes are done and Im going to pack a few things” you tell Dean as he whips his head to you quickly.

“I cant believe this is it” he says in disbelief

“I know but its time” you look to him with a smile

“You need any help packing?” he asks looking to you and Cas

“No but um will need to later. I mean I cant exactly pack my whole office by myself” you chuckle while Cas does the same.

“Oh no you dont need to pack your office yet, I mean you still can work out of here with Cas and have a family business here at home. This will always be your home” he says with a nervous smile on his face.

Dean couldnt believe he is letting his baby sister go live with her mate or he couldnt believe you actually found a true mate.

“I was hoping you would say that, thanks big brother. Im gonna go pack. Castiel come help me?” you ask looking to him.

“Of course I will” he gets up from the couch as he follows you up the stairs.

“So you think tonight is going to be the night in completing the bond?” Castiel asks while getting clothes out from the closet and folding them neatly into your bag.

“Yes. Dont you find it odd that you are asking if Im going to be having sex with your brother?” you ask getting a slight chuckle from Castiel.

“A little bit but I'll be doing the same with your brother” he says a little too smugly while you chuckle as you throw one of your shirts at him.

When your clothes are packed up, Castiel helps you with your bag down the stairs and you take one look around your room one last time before going to Michaels house and basically moving in with him now.

“Come here” Dean says while pulling you into a hug

“I love you so much. I dont even want to let you go. At some point I need to let you go and be with your mate” Dean says as he has you in his arms.

“Or you and Michael can move in. I am completely fine with that” Dean adds while placing a kiss at the top of your head

You chuckled at Dean

Dean tried to get the both of you to move in but he knew its for the best to have your own space.

“Dean” Castiel says looking to his mate

“What? Its a simple suggestion” Dean says while looking to you and shaking his head no.

“I love you Dean” you say as a chuckle slips from your mouth once more.

“We will have our family weekends here. Holidays we can stay here as well, its not like Im going to keep her away from you or the house” Michael says with a smile on his face

“Yes, good idea. Since this house is practically our family house” Sam agrees looking between his mate and family

They all nod in agreement.

You accept his hug no problem. You pull away from him slowly and go towards Sam. He swallows you into his arms as well. You felt a tear fall on your face and saw that Sam is teaing up. You look to Sarah and she is also tearing up as well. Castiel releases a soft sob.

“I cant believe this day came so early and I feel I cant let you go” Sam says as he has tears in his eyes.

“I understand, its always been the three of us. Or two of us” you say while looking to Dean with tears in your eyes

Castiel and Sarah look on while they both have tears.

Dean on the other hand is trying to keep it together but cant hold the tears back anymore as they stream down his face.

As you pull away from your brother and look to the both of them is when your vision blurs.

All thanks to tears.

You look around the house once more.

You are about to give the house key to Dean but he refuses and lets you keep the key for safe keeping.

You walk out with Michael as he carries your bag.

“No turning back now” you mutter to yourself as you get in the passenger side and Michael finally gets in the truck and drives home.

Once you get to the house and seeing it from the outside is beginning to feel intimidating but once you got inside the feeling is gone.

You can smell nothing but Michael all throughout the house as he opened the door and gave you the tour of the house.

Once he showed you the master bedroom is when you were in awe struck.

The master bedroom is decorated with browns and golds that basically went with the scents from you and Michael.

“Castiel helped me with the colours, bedding and so on. I hope its alright” Michael says looking around the room.

You look to him as tears begin to form, you didnt think it would have been this perfect or would have been this beautiful for the first time you would be spending together.

“Its gorgeous” you tell him as you wrap your arms around his neck.

You lock lips with him as he leads the both of you to the bed, he takes off his shirt as he begins to take yours off as well and begins to kiss your neck.

You smile as he kisses your neck while he licks the area he has desired to place his claiming bite.

He hovers above you as you lay on the bed.

As he worships your body making his way to your breasts and cups them with one hand.

He has your nipple in between his fingers and his mouth is sucking them gently as he slightly bites them.

He kisses his way down and stops at the top of your jeans. He unbuttons them and pulls them down

He pulls your underwear down and once they are off is when the sweet scents of caramels and bananas smack him right in the face.

He parts your legs is when his nose is burst with sweet scents and couldnt wait to devour his tongue to your core.

As you are looking down at Michael is when you bit your lower lip and noticed Michael’s eyes are dialated with pure lust as he smells your scent.

He kisses the inner part of your thighs and that just drives you nuts.

He notices how you are getting impatient but he takes his time in worshipping your body. He has waited so long for this moment and now he has you. He is going to take his time.

Finally he licks at your folds, he loves the way you moan at the feeling.

The more he licks and sucks on your bean the more you begin to grind on his face for more friction. His tongue just felt amazing against you and you couldnt get enough.

You were getting close amd he knew you were getting close.

“Not so fast” he says with a wicked smile on his face

“Claim me please” you are pleading now and need him more then ever.

He does as he is told, as he makes love to you slowly and tenderly is when you finally came.

He loved the way you moaned out his name in pure bliss, he loved how you came all around his cock. He loved everything about you.

Right before his knot begins to swell up deep inside you is when he stops and begins to sink his teeth into your neck and proceeds to thrust deep inside you.

Finally his knot begins to swell and the both of you come at the same time.

You begin to notice a difference right away, Michael feels a difference between the both of you and feels tingles all over your bodies.

You feel a warm sensation throughout your body and feel like you have found the missing piece you never thought you could ever find.

“Can you feel that?” Michael asks once he calms his panting.

“Yeah I do, its like I feel complete” you tell him with a smile on your face.

The both of you lay on your sides because his knot is swelled up inside of you and would be like that for an hour.

“My mate. My beautiful Omega mate” Michael says possessively as he spoons you.

He leaves a trail of love bites from the claiming bite and down your shoulder. He admires his work as he kisses them.

“My Alpha. My Mate” you say with a smile on your face as you feel his happiness.

Both of you slept in each others arms throughout the night, didnt stir from bad dreams and slept in sated comfort as mates.

The next day you and Michael woke up pretty late in the day is when the phone woke the both of you.

Michael reached over you to answer the phone while you snuggled closer to his chest. He smiles at the sudden closeness and presses the button to answer the call.

“Hello?” he answers while his voice is still groggy.

“Hey its Dean, are you just waking up?” he asks in disbelief

“Yeah, I am anyways. Cant say for your sister though or I should say my mate” he says with a smile he cant wipe off from his face.

“Thats great man. Congratulations” Dean says with happiness.

“How is Castiel?” Michael asks

“He is doing good, he is cooking lunch right now actually and I am on my out to the airport to pick up Bobby. I was wondering if you two will stop by in a little bit?” he asks

“Yes of course. I know y/n will love to see her uncle and I definitely would love to meet him. We will be by in a little bit, we just need to get ready and we will see you later” Michael says as he pulls himself away from you.

“Yeah I am definitely going to need a shower” you mumble as you grimace from the sudden stickiness.

While you take the much needed shower and begin to lather the shampoo to your hair is when you couldnt wipe off the smile from your face.

You touch the spot where he placed the claiming bite on your neck and felt complete happiness at the touch.

You stepped out of the bathroom to get ready for the day.

You take a look in the mirror and see the love bites Michael as left. You smile at them. You pull yourself away from the thoughts of last night and begin to get ready.

Michael comes into the room with two cups of coffee in hand, he stops at the entry way to get a good look at you getting dressed. He is feeling happy at the sight in front of him.

“You know, I havent had a hickey since highschool” you say while smiling to your mate.

“I got carried away but I dont regret them” he smiles as he replies back to you.

“I can feel that you know” you tell him as you pull over your shirt

“Yeah I know and its a good feeling” Michael says as he hands you the cup of coffee.

He gives you a quick kiss to the lips as he hands you the coffee mug.

“Oh that reminds me. Dean called, he said he will be picking up Bobby from the airport. He would like us to be at the house when he gets there. Also Castiel is cooking. Im going to shower quickly and we can make our way there” Michael says as he takes off his shirt and throws it in the laundry hamper.

“Oh so thats who it was that called” you reply while moving towards the bed

“Sure was. There is more coffee in the kitchen” Michael says as he steps into the shower

You smiled the whole time he undressed and walks into the bathroom to start the shower.

His well toned body, muscles from arms, to back, to abs, Well chisled in the right places.

You were excited for Bobby's visit and at the same time you were pretty worried how he is going to react to the whole Dick thing.

You get a better look around the house, you look at all the family pictures he has around the house. In a few of them are someone who is tall, blonde and has blue eyes.

“That must be Lucifer” you mutter to yourself as you look at other pictures.

Once you get down the stairs is when you placed your cup in the sink and sat at the table to wait for Michael to come down and head over to the house.

You couldnt wait to introduce Bobby to Michael but you were also nervous because its Bobby. You wanted to make sure who ever you would be introducing him to would be the type of person Bobby would approve of.

While you waited, you played with your hair and your fingers brushed against your claiming bit and once more brought to complete happiness. The thoughts of last night roamed in your head.

“Are you all set to go?” Michael asks once he is in the kitchen.

Which you didnt hear him walking down the stairs at all

“Sorry, yes I am ready to go” you finally reply while snapping yourself back to reality.

You and Michael walk to the closet as he takes both of your jackets and helps you with yours. You place on your boots as he does the same.

“The blonde man in the pictures, is that Lucifer?” you ask walking out of the house

Michael leads you to the truck and opens the door for you.

“Yes, thats my brother Lucifer” he replies keeping his eyes on the road

“Did Castiel tell you how he died?” he asks looking to you.

“Yeah, he told me and Im sorry for the loss” you tell him while placing your hand over his leg.

“Thank you” he replies while taking your hand into his and kisses it.

Once he drives away from the house is when the ride goes completely silent. Until he has turned on the radio for the music to flow through the truck.

“Do we need to pick up anything for them? Coffee? And so forth” you ask while breaking the beautiful silence between you two.

“We should pick up coffee from the diner before we head to the house” he replies while he makes a turn into the diners parking lot

You and Michael walk into the diner and are greeted with such happiness from everyone at the diner.

Dorothy gives Michael three thermoses full of coffee and Benny gets a batch of bagels and muffins from the back to give you.

“Y/n I will be by with Andrea later. We would like to meet your uncle Bobby” Benny says as he leads the both of you to front entrance.

“That sounds nice. I will let my brothers know that the both of you will be coming by the house later” you tell him as you walk out the door

“If I havent said it yet, congratulations on the bond. Its a beautiful thing knowing two individuals are rightfully fit for each other” Benny adds with a smile on his face, he hugs Michael and pulls away from him and hugs you also.

“I hate to ask but when is your next heat?” Michael asks as he drives out of the parking lot and drives in the direction of the family home.

May as well call it the family home now since that is where Dean is living with Castiel and he is the head Alpha.

“In a couple of weeks actually. You want to get started on extending the family?” you ask with a wide smile spread across your face

“Yes, if thats ok with you. I want to make sure that you are comfortable with everything” he replies as he turns into the drive way.

“Yes, yes, yes. I would love to get started on having pups” you reply with a smile on your face and it has never left your face from the night before.

You see Deans car in the driveway knowing that uncle Bobby is in the house. Michael follows behind you as you open the door and walk into the house.

***

This time I will add in the tags, I havent done that in a while either

Tags list

@jms-01

@animegirlgeeky

@strangerthingshargove

@freerebelmentality

@enthusedbycuriosity

@sia-del

@jacobmarkstrom25

@takethetimetowasteamoment

[grungeandrockoneshots]

Could you do an eddie one shot...where it's like the "morning after" and were both in bed and he's playing with your hair and stroking your back and it's really cute and maybe a little smutty at the end

The first sun rays made you open your eyes early in themorning. Everything around you was perfectly calm and peaceful. You carefullyturned to the other side where your boyfriend, Eddie, was sleeping. He lookedlike an angel in that white blanket he was covered with. You put your arm overhim and fell asleep on his shoulder again.

The second time you felt yourself waking up, Eddie’s armswere already holding you. You knew that he wasn’t sleeping anymore and that hiseyes were placed on you.

„Eddie,“ you murmured still half asleep, „you should stopstaring at me.“ You heard him quietly laughing: „How do you even know I waslooking at you?“

„Your gaze woke me up,“ you slowly opened your eyes and sawEd smiling down at you. He gave you a kiss on your forehead as you held himtighter.

„You’re just so beautiful that I couldn’t help myself,“ hisocean eyes lovingly watched you. You still couldn’t believe how lucky you wereto have him, he was perfect in every way possible. You’ve always been verysceptical to boys and didn’t believe in serious relationships, but the firsttime you met Eddie, suddenly everything changed. And if there was a drop ofincredulity or doubt after few weeks of dating, last night completely wiped itaway when you slept together for the first time. Eddie was full of love andwasn’t afraid to give it all to you, so there wasn’t a second when you wouldn’thave felt loved and in good hands. You were his and didn’t ever want to besomeone else’s.

You started drawing tiny circles on his bare chest whichsoon transformed into short messages to him. Meanwhile he tangled his hand toyour hair and gently reeled strands of your hair on his fingers. He played withyour hair until he recognized you were actually talking to him through theletters drawn on his chest.

„G-o-o-d-m-o-r-n-i-n-g,“he spelled out and laughed slightly. „Good morning, Y/N. Did you have a goodsleep?“

„Yeah, I’ve never slept this good. It feels so safe herewith you,“ your confession made him lay his hand on your cheek where he strokedyou with his thumb. You continued in writing on his skin.

„K-i-s-s-m-e,“ hemade out from the letters. He leaned down to you with a smile and placed a softkiss on your lips. More, you wroteand caressed his arm. Eddie lifted himself on his elbow, took a quick look atyour body which was partly uncovered and then smirked a bit. Even though youlaid naked next to him all night, now you blushed a little and pulled theblanket higher. „You know you don’t have to do this, baby,“ he pressed his lipsagainst yours for a while, „there’s nothing else I’d like to stare at more.“

„Be quiet, Eddie!“ you rolled your eyes, but were happy tohear words like these. The best thing was that you knew he was telling you thetruth. His eyes couldn’t lie.

„Why? Is there something wrong about it? God, if I could, I’dshout it out to the world! I think I’ll hide all your clothes so you’ll have towalk naked all the time,“ he chuckled and kissed you on the neck.

„Idiot,“ you laughed, took his head in your hands and madehim kiss you again, now with the difference that the kiss got much more deeperand passionate. Eddie slowly moved his body on top of yours and the warmth ofhis skin was really making you feel safe, just like last night. Soon youstarted to feel a serious sexual tension as Ed’s hands were wandering all overyour chest. You felt his hot breath everywhere on your body, there wasn’t anychance you couldn’t be trapped under his spell. You put your hands in his messyhair and let him take a good care of your body. Ke kept returning to your lipswith cute and loving whispers about how much he loves you and how much you’re tuninghim on right now. Once you slid your hand down his back and found your way tohis member, he moaned quietly. It encouraged you to start moving your hand upand down, apparently making him feel very good. He breathed heavily and italmost seemed like he had problems controlling himself. Suddenly he grabbedyour hand and pinned it to the pillow above your head. Then he slowly startedgoing down as he let a wet path from his tongue. You had goosebumps all overyour body as soon as he got between your thighs. Small but intensive movesquickly got you exactly to the state where he’d hoped you would be, you werecrushing the sheet in your fingers and breathing irregularly. He watched youwith eyes full of desire, you couldnt deny that. You thought that you’ve neverfelt this good before. And you also thought that nothing could stop you fromleading things to the end. Well, you were wrong. Just when Eddie laid on top ofyou again with an intention to slide his length into you, a phone on yourbedside table rang. It rang so annoyingly that you couldn’t ignore it.

„No, don’t pick it up, Y/N,“ Eddie pleaded you.

„What if it’s something important?“ you raised your eyebrowsand reached for the handset, even though you didn’t feel like talking to anyoneelse than Eddie. „Yes?“ you said. It was your friend from work who called and apparentlyshe’s been dealing with some problems about paperwork which sounded prettyserious. You didn’t want your small shop where you worked to get in trouble, soyou promised her you’d be there in twenty minutes.

„But I need you here, too!“ Ed protested when you told himwhat’s the problem. You gave him a long kiss instead of saying goodbye.

„I’m gonna be back soon.“

„Yeah, I’ll be waiting. We’re not done yet here.“

-

Hey, it feels good to be back again for a while! I’m sorry I haven’t posted anything in like 100 years but here’s finally something I managed to write today, because I suddenly started to miss writing so much. I’m not going to make promises like I probably made few times before that i’m going to post more, but I want you to know that I’m definitely not planning to end with this blog anytime soon. Once again, thank you for your patience, you’re the best xx

[voidselfshipp]

Where there was Fire,embers remain

Cw:injury and food ment

Ok to rb

Part 1

Its been two days since their last encounter.

Thinking a third one was going to go by without meeting with her ex again jerico went to sleep early.

Shes snoring, wings sprawled on the matress.

Someone shakes her awake, jumping on the bed sitting Straight shes met with an injured rorschach, a recurrent theme with him, looming over her with his mask lifted up to his forehead so she could see his beautiful face.

--What the fuck happened to you?!-- jerico asked running to catch him.

--goons...--he answered sitting on the matress.

She ran to the bathroom grabbing the first aid, and ran back to Stitch his injuries.

Same thing as last time happened, hes laying on the bed, hands on his chest sighing,jeri washing his clothes.

She comes back, sitting with him, he looks away and she does the same.

-- theres either two things happening here,either those goons are serious biscuit boxes or you just want an excuse to see me

He snorts looking at her-- if you think I want to see you, youre wrong, I have better things to do...

She chuckles at the obvious jokey undertone of that answer, it was just like old times.

Laying down with him, she doesnt dare to come closer, she doesnt want to repeat what happened two days ago.

So they Keep distance, rorschach is not even attempting to break the Ice and neither does she.

Jer sits up however, she doesnt leave the bed,all she does is Stretch her wings as far as she can,Walter heard the bones pop, and she let out a groan.

He chuckled under his breath, he forgot how cute she could be.

She then yawns, her sharp fangs grow target as her tongue became similar to a lizard for a quick second.

--y'know Its been a while since I flew...remember when we used to fly togheter? You on my back? The wind blowing as we passed the clouds?

He nodds trying to Keep an emotionless face-- I do

Noticing the lack of interest in his voice she stands up, putting her shoes on-- ill be right back, you stay here

As shes about to leave,already on the Fire exit stair right infront of her window he stops her.

--Wait! What if someone comes? Im in no condition to fight! You have to stay!--it was all bullshit, he didnt want her to leave.

She peeks her head through the Window and he looks away-- ill be right back, ill bring you something!

He sneered-- I dont need your pity prizes

She rolls her eyes,a bit annoyed-- Whatever-- her cold answer made him stiffen, he never heard her voice like that-- im tired of you treating me like shit even if I save your ass... youre lucky youre injured..

-- with that he heard her wings flop and she flew away.

The cold wind felt like home flying was just in her blood, it was freeing her arms stretch, and she lets out a loud roar.

She looks down at the city, and lands on a tall building,watching a couple walk hand in hand.

It reminded her of Walter and her when they were togheter.

They were smiling, laughung togheter while eating,she couldnt hear what they were saying, all she saw is that the woman was very happy and excited about something, and her boyfriend is calmly hearing her, happy for her and whatever she was saying.

Jerico stared at them,heart aching as a single lonely tear ran down her cheek.

Why? Why did they split up? They were happy just like that.

She hits the ledge she was standing on with her fist, the rock melts away dripping on the windowpane below.

While she was crying to herself,rorschach wasnt free of destinys cruel jokes.

He couldnt sleep if jerico wasnt around, so hes leaning on the Fire exit, it was like a balcony,and he was leaning on the handrail.

Below Him there was this married couple...the Man was cold but acted as if he wasnt, his girlfriend catched up to that and shared the jacket he gave her.

Awkwardly they both Walked togheter, arms around the other.

He snorts gripping the cup, jerico and him were just like that, inseparable, they had eachothers backs.

He remembers one particular time where jerico sacrificed herself taking an molotov explosion that was meant for him.

He remembers how much he chastisiced her afterwards, how scared he felt of losing her.

That same fear he was feeling now, he didnt want to admit it.

The simple thought of her slipping through his fingers made him feel scared.

He wouldnt loose her, he couldnt afford to.

He finished his coffee and left the cup on the kitchen, he washed it himself.

He lays in bed, and heard the flopping of wings, then someone coming in.

He knew her steps so well he didnt bother to Open his eyes,he knew she was with him in bed, but away from him

Both remembered what they witnessed today, the old memories of their love haunting them all over again.

And those embers lit a Fire then and there.

The Next morning jerico woke up with a nice breakfast in bed, of course Walter wasnt with her on her bed,but the gentle rustle of cluttery and the noise of the tap water running told her he didnt leave her.

She Ate comfortably,and took the tray with her to the kitchen, wich she left on the counter.

--Morning

Rorschach smiled hearing her cheery soft tone, this time he didnt hide it.

He turns around drying his hands-- morning...howd..Howd you slept?

She giggles at his awkwardness--fine,what About you?

He shrugged-- alright.. no nightmares this time

She nodds-- im glad

The silence that followed wasnt awkward or tense, just sort of there.

--im going to take a Bath--he said-- id...id appreciate it if you could help me

Walter knows he fucked up when he sees her raise an eyebrow with a smirk.

--though you didnt want me touching you~

He stomps his foot on the floor-- iTS A MATTER OF EFFICIENCY!, YOUR TOUCH IS A NECESSARY EVIL!--He blushed hard walking to the bathroom with jerico laughing following suit.

He missed her laugh.

Carefully she helped him bathe, her light touches didnt help his blush,he wanted to pull her in and kiss her hard and passionately.

But he stopped himself, just comforming to biting his Lower lip and looking away.

When they are finished she helps him put on a shirt and both sit a bit closer on the sofa.

During the afternoon jerico went to write, trying to finish the first draft of her story.

Feeling stuck she calls rorschach,who walks over and reads what she wrote.

--Its good-- he said leaning in-- but thats not how that works -- he knew a bit about what she was writing so he helped her, once she corrected it she thanks him and he presses a kiss to the top of her head-- dont mention it doll...

Her heart skips a beat.

Not for the kiss.

But the nickname...

He uses to call her doll when they were dating. She forgot how nice it sounded when he said it.

She smiled,blushing and kept writing.

At night rorschach rested way closer to her than before.

Walter looks at the ceiling-- y'know...lately ive..ive remembered some things...I got reminded of how much...--he made a pause-- of how much I love you...

When we met, I thought you were just like any other woman, I was so wrong.

With you everything I felt repulsed by, love, intimacy...they all felt right with you -- he licked his lips and he sat up, so did she-- I was such a fool to leave you...im so sorry...

Jers hand pressed itself against walters cheek, he looks at her.

--i too got reminded of our golden days, you had me eating out of the Palm of your hand rory, Man, you had me crazy for you, a single look would make my knees weak...

Id put myself in danger just for you,and I did several times

He snorted-- yeah you did

--I still remember how angry youd come to me,stomping and yelling about how stupid I was for sacrificing myself for you...I miss those days...i miss you..

Rorschach licked his lips-- would you ever consider of taking me back?

Jers eyes fill with tears--are you kidding me?! Id take you back right here right now!

He also starts to cry taking her hands in his-- would you do it now?

She nodds cupping his cheeks and kissing him

He kisses her back with passion, both fall on the bed, the heated kiss ends with laughter and happy tears.

--im never leaving you again--walter said cupping her cheeks-- I promise

She hugs his hips looming over him-- im never letting you go, im staying through good, bad and worse rory

--Walter...

-- im staying through good, bad and worse Walter..

He chuckles and kisses her again as tears stream down their faces.

Both end up laying in bed, cozying up to their Newly lit Fire.

A Fire that would never be put out.

After all, where there was Fire...embers remain

[udon-udon]

So I went out of town for the weekend, for 2 1/2 days and 2 nights! I was at Pemberton, B.C, it was roughly a 5 hour drive.

TL;DR: 

1st day: 5 Hour ish drive, went past our airbnb and had to turn back lol, an uninvited mouse got in, i barely slept a wink.

2nd day: Hike at Joffre Lake (with my mosquito bitten foot that ached), McDonalds for wifi, had a home made feast, late night jokes and talks

3rd day: Woke up an hour later than expected due to the highway being blocked by a triathlon, had to explore around with my DEAD ASS FOOT swollen af, got home at around 9PM

First day: 

Got ready, got into the car, and we picked up people, and traded the current car with our friend’s boyfriend’s car. Because without it, we wouldn’t have been able to survive that long ride tbh LOLOL, bless my friend’s boyfriend.

Anyway, the drive was pretty self-explanatory. We stopped by Shannon Falls part way through cause we could, we had time. Walked a bit around and went back onto the road. 

We were driving and looking for our AirBNB in which our host told us “its right after a blank green diamond, you’ll see a purple smiley face on your left” so we tried, but we never saw it???? (maybe cause friend was driving too fast lmfao) My navigating friend said no way, it’s been way too far, so we turned back to find it. Turns out the smiley face was inset this little trail in which we failed to see. rip

We opened the heavy gate but we see this steep trail which leads to the cabin and we’re like “Will the car even make it up” Thankfully, it did bless. The cabin was secluded so barely any phone service and no wifi at all (hence no posts from me lately)

First dinner of the trip was some Mi Goreng and a giant pizza (which we got on sale for $5 so worth it). Then we decided to walk around a bit in which we all died cause mosquitoes everywhere. I got a little injury on my foot where i thought it was a sandal burn but turns out it was a mosquito bite :\. I cleaned the dishes and then we all showered etc. We tried watching the movies that they had there, but they all sucked or the discs were missing. So we just played UNO like we always do LOL. The next day was our hike, so we kind of went to bed early? 12 ish? But guess what, I literally couldn’t sleep AT ALL cause it was hella hot and idk i couldnt fall asleep. 

Also a mouse came in and scared the shit out of us, but we kinda got used to it, it was pretty cute too so.

Second day: 

Woke up at 7AM (or was it 8?) and chef Chan and chef Wong made scrambled eggs, sausage, and bacon yum yum in my tum tum. We then packed, sprayed bug repellent and shit, and HIKE TIME. We went to hike at Joffre Lake!! Where I hiked with my mosquito bite and ow really fuckin suckeD. And I’m very bad at hiking so I lagged my friends behind A LOT LOL WHOOPS I felt so bad but yolO. I was dying tbh. Got back, all showered, and then we hit the road to a nearby-ish McDonalds for wifi LMFAOOOOO. Came back for dinner. Chef Iris and Mandy cooked up a FEAST!!!! We had pasta, more sausages, cream of mushroom, spring mix salad, broccoli, mashed potatoes, CHICKEN WINGS. It was really good despite not having any salt in the cabin LOL And then the usual, we played UNO again, we played BANG!, IN WHICH I LOST BEFORE I EVEN GOT A TURN??? LIKE WTF????? bullshit LOL. And I kept losing to chains of +2′s at UNO rip serena.... 

Since we had to wake up early the next day, we decided to sleep earlier, but no one was able to sleep cause it was early. So we just played music and have them listen to me sing really badly. I managed to sleep like a log that night though thank god.

Third day:

We set our alarm to 8AM, but our friend’s phone died so the alarm never went off lmaoooo. We woke up at 9AM instead and ate the leftover pasta and sausages and bacon. Packed, and left. 

we hit town center-ish, but turns out there was a triathlon going on, so the highway back home was blocked until 4:30 ish. We stopped at a public library and chilled there for an hour or so. Free wifi so hey why not. Then dropped by McDonalds for a bit, played some uno there and then  walked to a nearby lake called One Mile Lake. .....We walked around the lake with my dead ass foot and I of course died hahahahahahahahaha..... 

The highway was opened when we came back so vroom vroom we going home.

Carpool Karaoke with Serena lololol.

And now we home.

[effervescentmind]

Entry 18: 07/10/19 @ 3:42 p.m.

I’m at work on the patio. 

So I have a lot of crappy news to talk about. These last few days havent been very great. Last Tuesday I woke up with some strange sharp pain on my right collarbone but the pain would only come if I inhaled. I dismissed it, thinking maybe that I had slept weird and it would pass. Wednesday, it moved to my left collarbone and I knew it was too much of a coincendence to be a strain but I still ignored it. Thursday I felt no pain until the evening when my waist started feeling a bit sore. It wasnt a sharp pain but more like the soreness you get from working out. I’m a server and work at least 40 hours a week so I figured my body just felt tired like usual. Friday I woke up around 3 a.m. in sooo much pain. It felt like someone stabbed my ribs, I could barely move without screaming. I eventually fell back asleep and then called out of work when I got up. When I explained to the manager that I was going to the hospital for unexplainable pain, he told me he had my morning covered but he fully expected me to be there that night for dinner shift. I hung up and was very upset at the lack of concern he had for my well-being. I didn’t have any money to get a lyft to the hospital and texted my mom and best friends’ mom for ten bucks. My best friends mom didnt get back to me that day but my mom was able to cash app me. I called my job and spoke with another manager, updating him on my situation and that I would keep him posted. When I got there, I was seen right away because there was no line. The doctor immediately knew I had Pleurisy.

 From what I understand its a viral infection that inflames the protective lining of your lungs. The lining is suposed to protect your lungs and make sure they expand smoothly against your ribcage. When the lung gets inflammed, it creates friction. That friction was what I was feeling everytime I inhaled. The doctor gave me a 800mg ibeprofen and kept me there for an hour to see if it helped. It worked very slightly but I was still in pain and breathing shallow. He perscribed me the ibeprofen and instructed me to stay home that night and the next day. I called my job and a third manager picked up. I updated him and let him know that I had to stay home. He was very upset about it and then we hung up. 

Saturday morning, I get a text from my bestfriends’ mom. It was her husband telling me that she was in the hospital and thats why I didnt get a call back but that he would still send me the money if I needed it. He was concerned about me as well. I told him what happened and that I was ok and didnt need the money. Then I asked him if mom (I call her mom because she took me in and is eveything to me) was ok and he said he didnt know. That she had tried to overdose on Xanax. I was in shock and told him I was so sorry and that I wanted to come see her. I asked for her number and expressed my convern for him and my little sister. He said she was fine and that they told her that mom just needed help feeling happy and that she would be home soon. My heart was heavy and I cried for hours. I ended up talking to my best friend and we got high on the phone and cried together. Neither of us had talked to mom because we didnt want to upset her with our emotions.

Sunday morning, I was still in pain but not as much as the day before. When I got to work, I realized that I wasnt ready for it. I couldnt walk very fast or I would get winded because of all my shallow breathing. Talking was very short and limited or very strained and exhausting. My coworkers kept asking me if I was ok and wondering why I was so quiet. I felt like shit and the more I worked the worse the pain would get until I had to stop every two minutes to catch my breath. I started talking to coworkers and asking if anyone wanted to pick up my shift. No one could because they were all doubles so I went to my boss and told her I couldnt breath. She immediately told me that I had to go home and stopped me from trying to find people to cover my shift. She told me I was fine. 

The guy that picked me up drove like a fucking maniac and added to the horrish pain I would eventually feel when I got home. It felt like he was tossing me around in the back seat with a thousand knives around me and I was too winded to speak up. Then when I got home, I dropped everything on the floor and tried to sit on the couch but couldnt even sit. It was too painful to move. I literally had to keep my torso perfectly straight and spread my legs to lower myself onto the couch. I could not use my abs AT ALL or I would trigger a sharp pain and scream. I eventually took a shower and stayed on the couch for the remainder of the evening. Going to bed was a thirty minute process. Just finding the right angle to lower myself and figuring out what movements I had to make for the least painful experience was exhausting. My sleep was rough and uncomfortable. 

I had monday off (thankfully) and still had a considerable amount of pain but felt much better. Spent the day relaxing and catering to myself and body. 

Tuesday (yesterday) I felt GREAT. Hardly any pain and no laborous talking. I went in to work and people were happy to see me and happy that I was back…I realized that I was happy too. Not because of my job but because holy shit I finally felt close to normal again. Everything was going great, we had a slight pop and I was in my groove. Then the mid-manager comes in (the one that was upset about me not coming in over the weekend) and askes me how I was feeling and without letting me answer comments, disappointedly, on how I called out again on Sunday. I looked at him and said that I had to, I couldnt breathe and he scoffed at me. I then told him that I did come Sunday and tried but left early and he just walked away and didnt say anything. I continued to take care of my tables but his comments were in the front of my mind, They were really bothering me! So as soon as I found a monet to talk, I pulled him aside to speak in private. I told him that I didnt appreciate his comment earlier, that it was insensitive. I tried my best and still came in despite my condition. I missed out on at least 300 dollars over the weekend and noe had a 200 dollar hospital bill to pay without insurance. He somewhat sympathized and agreed that he was maybe a little insensitive. I said it was alright and he proceeded to tell me about one of my coworkers and how they have been working for two weeks with rib pain. Then I told him that he had nothing to do withme and that it my pain was different. It was my lung and I explained what the doctor told me about Pleurisy. He listened and acknowleged that he might have been insensitive but then told me about how he was at work for a whole week once with kidney stones. Again, I told him that his stones have nothing to do with my long and that he was downplaying my situation. He then someowhat agreed with me and we ened the conversation. i thought we were good and it was over but he follwed me to the bar and told me that earlier he was just asking me a question and he wasnt being rude. I reiterated what he said and how and told him that he was expressing disappointment. He then denied it and reitarated a version of his “question” with the same words and nicer tone. I told him that yes he did say that but not in the form of a question and not nicely. He continued to go back and forth with me and I stopped him saying that I wasnt trying to argue with him. He wouldnt let it go so I told him he was being defensive and he told me he wasnt and started trying to fight with me about being defensive. I told him that this was dumb and that I wasnt going to argue. He cut me off and said it was dumb and it was dumb for me to bring it up in the first place. Then (yelling) told me that I had the resturant in a disarray for no reason. He said this while walking away from me and by guests, making sure he was heard. I yelled back “I’m so sorry Jason that you had a hole in your floor for three days because I was in the hospital, you asshole!”. He then went to our boss and started talking shit and then immediately after went up to the hostesses telling them that he didnt care that I felt like he was being insensitive. I couldnt believe that this MANAGER was acting like a stupid like fucking child and causing a scene. 

The worst part of this all is that my boss was on his side and basically told me that I was being emotional and that Jason didnt mean anything by it. Hes just a very black and white person and thats what got him the job in the first place. UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!!!!!! I didnt even argue back because I’m so done witht his place. I’m offically fucking numb. I’m just going to work on getting my car and then line up a better job so that I cant quit. I’m not even going to tell them, I’ll just not call and block them. Fuck these bitches.

[loveismyreligionom]

Entry 18: 07/10/19 @ 3:42 p.m.

I’m at work on the patio. 

So I have a lot of crappy news to talk about. These last few days havent been very great. Last Tuesday I woke up with some strange sharp pain on my right collarbone but the pain would only come if I inhaled. I dismissed it, thinking maybe that I had slept weird and it would pass. Wednesday, it moved to my left collarbone and I knew it was too much of a coincendence to be a strain but I still ignored it. Thursday I felt no pain until the evening when my waist started feeling a bit sore. It wasnt a sharp pain but more like the soreness you get from working out. I’m a server and work at least 40 hours a week so I figured my body just felt tired like usual. Friday I woke up around 3 a.m. in sooo much pain. It felt like someone stabbed my ribs, I could barely move without screaming. I eventually fell back asleep and then called out of work when I got up. When I explained to the manager that I was going to the hospital for unexplainable pain, he told me he had my morning covered but he fully expected me to be there that night for dinner shift. I hung up and was very upset at the lack of concern he had for my well-being. I didn’t have any money to get a lyft to the hospital and texted my mom and best friends’ mom for ten bucks. My best friends mom didnt get back to me that day but my mom was able to cash app me. I called my job and spoke with another manager, updating him on my situation and that I would keep him posted. When I got there, I was seen right away because there was no line. The doctor immediately knew I had Pleurisy.

 From what I understand its a viral infection that inflames the protective lining of your lungs. The lining is suposed to protect your lungs and make sure they expand smoothly against your ribcage. When the lung gets inflammed, it creates friction. That friction was what I was feeling everytime I inhaled. The doctor gave me a 800mg ibeprofen and kept me there for an hour to see if it helped. It worked very slightly but I was still in pain and breathing shallow. He perscribed me the ibeprofen and instructed me to stay home that night and the next day. I called my job and a third manager picked up. I updated him and let him know that I had to stay home. He was very upset about it and then we hung up. 

Saturday morning, I get a text from my bestfriends’ mom. It was her husband telling me that she was in the hospital and thats why I didnt get a call back but that he would still send me the money if I needed it. He was concerned about me as well. I told him what happened and that I was ok and didnt need the money. Then I asked him if mom (I call her mom because she took me in and is eveything to me) was ok and he said he didnt know. That she had tried to overdose on Xanax. I was in shock and told him I was so sorry and that I wanted to come see her. I asked for her number and expressed my convern for him and my little sister. He said she was fine and that they told her that mom just needed help feeling happy and that she would be home soon. My heart was heavy and I cried for hours. I ended up talking to my best friend and we got high on the phone and cried together. Neither of us had talked to mom because we didnt want to upset her with our emotions.

Sunday morning, I was still in pain but not as much as the day before. When I got to work, I realized that I wasnt ready for it. I couldnt walk very fast or I would get winded because of all my shallow breathing. Talking was very short and limited or very strained and exhausting. My coworkers kept asking me if I was ok and wondering why I was so quiet. I felt like shit and the more I worked the worse the pain would get until I had to stop every two minutes to catch my breath. I started talking to coworkers and asking if anyone wanted to pick up my shift. No one could because they were all doubles so I went to my boss and told her I couldnt breath. She immediately told me that I had to go home and stopped me from trying to find people to cover my shift. She told me I was fine. 

The guy that picked me up drove like a fucking maniac and added to the horrish pain I would eventually feel when I got home. It felt like he was tossing me around in the back seat with a thousand knives around me and I was too winded to speak up. Then when I got home, I dropped everything on the floor and tried to sit on the couch but couldnt even sit. It was too painful to move. I literally had to keep my torso perfectly straight and spread my legs to lower myself onto the couch. I could not use my abs AT ALL or I would trigger a sharp pain and scream. I eventually took a shower and stayed on the couch for the remainder of the evening. Going to bed was a thirty minute process. Just finding the right angle to lower myself and figuring out what movements I had to make for the least painful experience was exhausting. My sleep was rough and uncomfortable. 

I had monday off (thankfully) and still had a considerable amount of pain but felt much better. Spent the day relaxing and catering to myself and body. 

Tuesday (yesterday) I felt GREAT. Hardly any pain and no laborous talking. I went in to work and people were happy to see me and happy that I was back...I realized that I was happy too. Not because of my job but because holy shit I finally felt close to normal again. Everything was going great, we had a slight pop and I was in my groove. Then the mid-manager comes in (the one that was upset about me not coming in over the weekend) and askes me how I was feeling and without letting me answer comments, disappointedly, on how I called out again on Sunday. I looked at him and said that I had to, I couldnt breathe and he scoffed at me. I then told him that I did come Sunday and tried but left early and he just walked away and didnt say anything. I continued to take care of my tables but his comments were in the front of my mind, They were really bothering me! So as soon as I found a monet to talk, I pulled him aside to speak in private. I told him that I didnt appreciate his comment earlier, that it was insensitive. I tried my best and still came in despite my condition. I missed out on at least 300 dollars over the weekend and noe had a 200 dollar hospital bill to pay without insurance. He somewhat sympathized and agreed that he was maybe a little insensitive. I said it was alright and he proceeded to tell me about one of my coworkers and how they have been working for two weeks with rib pain. Then I told him that he had nothing to do withme and that it my pain was different. It was my lung and I explained what the doctor told me about Pleurisy. He listened and acknowleged that he might have been insensitive but then told me about how he was at work for a whole week once with kidney stones. Again, I told him that his stones have nothing to do with my long and that he was downplaying my situation. He then someowhat agreed with me and we ened the conversation. i thought we were good and it was over but he follwed me to the bar and told me that earlier he was just asking me a question and he wasnt being rude. I reiterated what he said and how and told him that he was expressing disappointment. He then denied it and reitarated a version of his “question” with the same words and nicer tone. I told him that yes he did say that but not in the form of a question and not nicely. He continued to go back and forth with me and I stopped him saying that I wasnt trying to argue with him. He wouldnt let it go so I told him he was being defensive and he told me he wasnt and started trying to fight with me about being defensive. I told him that this was dumb and that I wasnt going to argue. He cut me off and said it was dumba nd it was dumb for me to bring it up in the first place. Then (yelling) told me that I had the resturant in a disarray for no reason. He said this while walking away from me and by guests, making sure he was heard. I yelled back “I’m so sorry Jason that you had a hole in your floor for three days because I was in the hospital, you asshole!”. He then went to our boss and started talking shit and then immediately after went up to the hostesses telling them that he didnt care that I felt like he was being insensitive. I couldnt believe that this MANAGER was acting like a stupid like fucking child and causing a scene. 

The worst part of this all is that my boss was on his side and basically told me that I was being emotional and that Jason didnt mean anything by it. Hes just a very black and white person and thats what got him the job in the first place. UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!!!!!! I didnt even argue back because I��m so done witht his place. I’m offically fucking numb. I’m just going to work on getting my car and then line up a better job so that I cant quit. I’m not even going to tell them, I’ll just not call and block them. Fuck these bitches.

[kyandice]

CANDICE EDIT THIS UGLY SHIT WHEN U HAVE THE FUCKING TIME

this is an ugly unedited one it has been in my drafts for like 2 months already. so whatever i just posting it. ill edit it if i have the time. thins is is i actually edited half way and MY FUCKING COMPUTER FUCKING CRASHED SO I GAVE UP  and yeahhh ill just post this ugly unedited one and ill edit it again WITH PROPER ENGLISH WHEN I HAVE THE TIME. idk i just cqnt see stuff in my drafts i just havre to post it and yewah wtf.

this unedu=ited stuff is just me writing key poiunts about my day and not like urghhhhhhh i hate this commmmmm. normally i would describe more but i dont want it in my drafts anymore so ill edit it when im free OKAYYYY.

1/3 

Hahahahahah lmao this was the date when i got tgt with K 3 years ago.(omg i still rmb, but tbh its nth special i just rmb useless stuff pretty well)  Never wanted to date a guy again even i with crushes back in sec sch. but anyways, today i went to Sentosa w/ B and he seemed to really like the artificial fiels alot but it was like in the afternoon so it was still kinda hot and yeahhhh. Like it would be much nicer at night. There will be like alot of stars and fireworks too and it will be more windy and cooling idk but it will be nicer at night and i want to spend the night w/ B there again. Oh yeah anyways ystd B bought me the batgirl lego keychain and B told me that batgirl had sex with batman and im shoooked.

2/3 and like today we planned to go to his house anddd then go to parkway parade to some lego secret chambers shop. i went out early cuz my junior wanted to pass me her lego characs but she couldnt make it so i was alr at bishan so i just went to tpy and wait for bryan o wake and meet me so i called him at 11am but he woke up and shouted at me so i just like nvmmmm so i went to the library and went window shopping around tpy and i also went popular 1pm i didnt want to call him up but i was like ugh nvm and called him.. and yay he finaally woke up wna read tuesday with morrie, all the fifty shades of grey and in grey's pov n miss peregrine's home for peculiar children but we still went to parkway parade anyays and he asked me to watch letters from iwo jima so i watched it at night and bryan wanted to watch the breakup list on toggle but it kept playing ads and it just wouldnt play the video so b got alittle pissed 3/3 logan, training (our 8th movie)

4/3 finishing crocheting my first thinggg the bear thing shoud i give it to bryan would he want it so today b was vvvv kinda excited this video thing with ck and cez and im like vvv happy for him cuz he can do smthing he rlly likes with cool n funny ffriends. also he said that he didnt want us to go public at first cuz he was afraid that ppl might tease us he said he was afraid i might be ffrustrated but tbh i was hella frustaratred i dont see the point of hiding our rship but im glad werre like opene now and so at night i went to ikea and b messaged me but i was busyt walking and i didnt recieve his msg but i didnt like lock my phone so it was read. but like it was in my pockets and like my mom doesnt allow me to play my phine whenever im walking but yeah anyways b was angry hat i didnt reply him. we sorta quarreled awhile but we were kinda okay after that i guess. wtf sia today midnight i have to distribute stuff to the homeless ppl in bugis and i was wearing a short paanyts and my mom tied this weird looking scarf i swear i look like some carzy hobo youngster wtf.

5&6/3 sneaked out of house, slept over at his house and after that i went to tpy first while he showers, ate and went home early to pack for camp stuff wna stay over at his house again it was fun we tried to watch moanna but was kinda sleepy

7/3 day 1 of camp. slept with b outised tgt

8/3 day 2 of camp (-met javier and sihui -every camps i go i get very angry -shoulder, water balloon) larn cpr and aed the skit thing worst grp ever

9/3 day 3 of camp water activities we won

10/3 tkd training

11/3

-wtf nxt week go msia (wanted to go work) -quarreled with bteh. cuz i cant go out but he wants me to go out -yyour suffering defines you without it yore a void -japan and korea with bryan -my parents -i want more lego charac -money - i cant wait for tmr for ilighhtsss i want to take like alooot pictures tgt with bryannnn styled hair -nicole choo idk why im still so insecure like i know pretty clearly that im decent looking. decent looking enough to make friends, have a job and not get ostracised in society. and well if you arent good looking enough you'll be made fun off/ostracised in society and thats how humans work. and now everywhere you see are pretty girls and how can any girls feel not insecure. Okay, i have a flat and fat nose. i want to have a sharper and thinner nose like michelle. i have pretty small boobs and i want boobs like naomi. my shoulders are too wide from playing softball, i want a smaller width shoulders like grace. my tummy isnt flat i want a flat tummy. and thing is those are pretty famous girls in like sg and im not even talking abt kim kard or emma wats or like jennifer lawr. omg i dont even know where im going with this im just literally typing all my thoughts down. okay and the boys here???? they all follow those people and im pretty sure they compare them over the normal girls in sch. omg what am i even talking abt. i feel silly even typing this out. but okay if your beauty standards doesnt reach like the norm in society you srsly wouldnt have friends. unless youre realllll rich or your sense of humor is rlly rlly great.

12/3 didnt quarrel but we  were obv upset with each other it was a fun day tho when to see i lights took alot pictures ate llaollao no money

20/3 best s ever went home after it bteh gg aunts house today

his flight will be tmr 21/22 job interview got the job bryaan in flight abt cosplay how i dont have frinds

25/03 bryan found my private twitter accnt                                    bteh tole me abt a girl he liked when he was in korea idk if anyone realised but ive got a really really really bad habit. its weird really. but its a thing ive been doing since young and i never talked to anyone about it before. so actually, when im nervous, or stressed out, or just couldnt take my mind off smthing, i would like start peeling or plucking my nails. okay many people do this but, i ahve a weirder one andddd omg i think i will regret saying this. So actually, i pluck i my hair when im nervous, stressed out or just thinking abt smthing i cant ignore. so back in primary 4 i was doing this math practice paper and i couldnt do any those 6marks big problem sums and i was fking stressed out. and well my habit of plucking my own hair started really really young. and at P4 my mom saw me crying

26 toc competition firdst fight win second fight lose how i dont wna fight nationals cuz my weight cat all got national player lose my chance to win gold cant even get silver r came today

29/ power rangers

30 wanted to go coney island with rapheal and jill and bryan but it rained so we went to lan and gamed without jill bryan pushed me and i banged into someone in the end see museums some forest thing the ligths vvv pretyy

28/hotel

31/ hotel went to work after that talk about work made bryan that key chain clp diner and dance

1/4 learn bst bts for club crawl played boomberang didnt workkk aot is out!!!!!!

2/4 today i need to go mountbatten cc to practice my poomsae my poomsae lousy i dont think i can pass at first try anyways president of stf is milan quey idk if i spelt his name properly but yeah. before that ate yellow sub with B will nvr eat there again portion is small yet expensive and food isint so nice at all but since i get to eat with b im vvvv gladdd

3/4 today i went early to B's house. after that met up with madeline and shirlyn to watch boss baby and the movie was quite nice i thought i wouldnt like it and then we ate pepper lunch and omg osaka is a vvv small place like shirlyn went evrywhere i visited like a a year ago

4/4 AND I WOKE UP WITH BTEH lose his doibok and he couldnt find it my maid threathened to take a mail for my mom cuz she lazy walk and she wants me to do it but i was late

5/4 there was demo training we played table tennis for awhile and bteh is good at it, ok maybe its just that i suck at it but yea theres was fmo so we slacked at tg until demo tng started so at night he said hes tired but idk that he wanted to sleep soon and he was like stop it and i was like stop wat but he ttly just shut me off and then i got pissed cuz i would nvr do that to him

6/4 i had to meet herman but like after meeting him timetable i realised i forget to bring my wallet somethimes im torn in beteen like just not gg out with bteh cuz i have no money to eat or spend his money again he keeps saying its okay but its really not okay im just not comfortable like someone spending so much on me i owe money so he told me his specs broke ttly

One of the things dreams do for us is prepare us for worse case scenario. The dream that is closest to reality about a loved one leaving us prepares the mind for the pain that can be inflicted upon us. It creates a probability. That means it could happen, it means it’s a fear you have, and being such your mind protects your psyche in a way to allow you to feel the emotions of the event, even though the event never occurred.

13 reasons why felt like  th main charac like back in sec sch all i wanted was just to finish my olevels and go to poly so i can be a whole new person. someone who i wanted to be withouht anyone laughing at me

1au away from sol 1au measurement unit like light or smthing sol is latin from sun porbbaly it