#i miss this shit so fucking much dude. it's sad that orchestra is my Entire fucking social life at this point i guess

[supercantaloupe]

hanging out in a room with a handful of other musicians is the most healing experience in the fucking world to me

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[number5theboy]

The notes I took while reading the comics are under the cut. These are not my ordered thoughts, just thoughts I had while reading. I’ll write something more coherent a bit later, once my thoughts are sorted better than these

APOCALYPSE SUITE

Diego repeatedly stabbed a Caravaggio, which just personally offends me. Also @ Reginald the fact that you left a Caravaggio in reach of your KIDS, who have KNIVES, is just as insulting. Someone save that Caravaggio since anything and anyone else is beyond saving

“Inexplicable resemblance to an Ingmar Bergmann extra” askjdsgbkdsbhsd Gerard sir that is so oddly specific. Is Reginald an Ingmar Bergman fan. Is that what you’re trying to tell us. Or is Klaus just a silent movie type

Right off the bat, the comics universe is so much more interesting than the show universe. They have boxers who beat up squids like??? Give us an adaptation with the comic world, preferably animated

The kiddos were all born to “mostly single women” dsbksdgbksdgbdsg??? Did the magical alien thingamajig check their relationship status first?

“Inventor of The Televator, The Levitator, The Mobile Umbrella Communicator, and Clever Crisp Cereal” dgdsghsgdhjsdkjhg Reginald names his inventions like Dr. Doofenschmirtz from Phineas and Ferb

Also the page that reveals/introduces Reginald is SO good, just the panelling and the action tells you so much. There’s dead bodies and excavations and masks in addition to text. It’s great.

“The Day The Eiffel Tower Went Berserk” is an EXCELLENT hook to a story

“It’s your Eiffel Tower, it’s gone insane and must be stopped at all costs.” Dksgdhjbkgsdhjbdsghjb the show could never

This comic keeps disrespecting cool art. Why is it doing that to me. Don’t let the musée d’orsay get robbed

Okay, luther came through for me on that

Dsdhlsdghlgsdhldsh the siblings arguing while the Eiffel Tower is falling apart around them had me cackling

“WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE” dsbdgsbgsdbdgsbklsd okay diego

“And just as I suspected – ZOMBIE-ROBOT GUSTAVE EIFFEL!” hello I need at least three comics of back lore on this. Why does luther have that hunch. Why is Gustave Eiffel a zombie-robot. How did we get here. Please I want answers

The missing line on the ‘e’ of ‘touché’ makes that dramatic moment way less dramatic and more funny ngl

Oh but you can be bothered to put the accent aigu on ‘séquence’

“And while you lost the Eiffel Tower, you saved Paris.” I am laughing too hard by this point. How dare this be a barely brushed upon adventure. Please I need to know more about zombie-robot Gustave Eiffel

Te Ben-robot makes me emotional and “Only my father calls me Number One”? ouch.

Also for the record, I love Luther’s design SO much

“Hello your father is dead. Please audition for my orchestra for revenge. Many thank. Bye.” Okay Conductor, whatever floats your boat, I guess

“and something worse is coming” dbhsdghbjgshbjsgbjhkgf okay Five, whatever floats your boat I guess

Allison immediately coming in with the ‘I know everyone blames you for Ben’s death, Luther, but honestly, who the fuck knows?’ dsbgbhdgshbsgdhkbj

Klaus has such an entrance and I honestly didn’t know that Claire was a comic character

The introduction to the apocalypse comes SO the fuck out of nowhere, but grumpy little Five with the ‘I knew I shouldn’t have run away from home’ speech bubble? Awesome

Also just genuinely interesting that Five truly hated Reginald and was aware of these feelings

The apocalypse introductions in the show and the comic are going for different feelings but they are both equally devastating, which is a nice touch

Also someone give show! Five a sword

Comic Diego is a fuckboy, and that’s obvious from a hundred paces

Apparently Grace makes me sad in any incarnation

Okay but the backdoor of the Icarus in the show is lifted straight out of the comics

I love the Conductor’s design so much, and his introduction is so good

Oh my god someone get a language checker, The Orchestra Verdammten doesn’t even make grammatical sense

I love the Conductor, he is so extra and just the concept of a piece of music that destroys the world…….it fucks so hard

This comic just throws wild shit at you and expects you to keep up

Just read the instructions Dr. Terminal gave his bots. Is he okay.

Why does Dr. Terminal want to eat Finland. Please I need to know what’s going on in that head of his

Gabriel Ba has excellent comedic timing

Five is a bitch and I love him

Diego hiding in a haunted house…….what a drama queen

Klaus is so fucking funny oh my god

Diego is so hilariously bitter towards Vanya. No need to destroy her like that, asshole

Love how Diego single-handedly brought about the apocalypse. What an idiot.

Dr. Pogo deserves the world

The Vanya reveal of powers is a bit. Uh. Underwhelming. Love the Frankenstein set-up tho

The art, man……..it’s so good

Comic Luther is SO savage holy shit

I love you Mister Conductor, but please stop butchering languages I know, thanks

I knew he was gonna die, but I am still hurt. Please bring him back, he’s the best character in this

“I don’t know where to begin…But I suppose I should start with the Kennedy assassination.” Okay five you drama queen

Allison is a bitch, and I mean that as a compliment

Honestly these Five and Vanya are made to be enemies, it’s great

HELL YEAH YOU GO KLAUS

This wraps up a little too nicely. Where did the moon boulder go

DALLAS

Sagfdghjasfkjghdsfjhksfhkj it opens with a ‘by the way, I’m still dead’ from Pogo

I can’t believe TUA directly inspired Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian

No seriously, I knew about sentient monument Abraham Lincoln but this entire scene FUCKS

Dsbksgdbhsgbhksgdhbkj Celebrity Surgery, the big popular reality TV show, I’m laughing

Luther and Klaus are both such messes jeesus, even if Klaus is coping better

Allison immediately kidnaps Vanya and exposes her to all the horrible shit she caused?? Dbgbhjdgkjhbgdhkj I love these versions of the characters

While Show!Diego is Walmart Batman, Comic!Diego is Walmart Rorschach

I thought I got the gazelle speech but now I’m just confused

It literally is an epiphany AND WHAT GOT HAZEL AND CHA-CHA SENT ON HIS ASS I’M

CACKLING

Also that one wordless Hazel and Cha-Cha panel……..so good

Five is a communist lmao Diego

Luther and Diego arguments are tedious in both versions

I hate the Marilyn Monroe ape scene. With a passion. It is so cursed

Also show Hazel and Cha-Cha were partners that grew apart. I think comics Hazel and Cha-Cha are in love

I am every killer ever. That is one cute puppy.

Also Klaus and God is great in every universe

Dsjfghjdhjdgjhbdgbjhkdbkjhgb Five’s face when he is outfoxed

Why do dream!Luther and Allison have am ape cyclops daughter

I love the Luther&Klaus dynamic

This is just a remix of Watchmen

I have no idea why they suddenly know what Five is up to, from the corpse of a Commission agent. What.

Wait now they can use corpses as time travel devices. What.

Okay, Klaus accidentally blew up the world. Cool?

I am so confused

Now Diego Klaus and Luther are fighting vampires in Vietnam and hurling mummies through the bush. Okay.

So Pogo always knew what kind of disasters they’d turn into? Dskbgdsbkhsdgbkgsdkh

THE WHOLE JFK ASSASSINATION ARC IS AMAZING

HOTEL OBLIVION

Hotel Oblivion really just presents a cockroach on a plate to you, huh

Reginald’s aesthetic is seriously so much cooler than he deserves

EVIL IS THE NAME OF THE FIRST PART OF HOTEL OBLIVION?!? I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE MR. AIDAN GALLAGHER

Five is a hired gun now?!? Man, that dude cannot catch a break ever

“TV is a healthy alternative to dying” esjkdsgbkgskbhdsgkbes

Who is Luther’s Japanese bro?!?

Also I just kind of really like the Luther&Diego dynamic in the comics

The show robbed us of Allison helping Vanya recover. It robbed us of Vanya getting injured in the first place, so what recovery, but still. This is incredibly sweet

God, all the villains in this universe are so intriguing. Except for Knock-Off-Adrian-Veidt, I keep forgetting that Perseus exists

“I’m a haunted house.” Is so metal as a self-descriptor

What the FLYING FUCK is Klaus doing there

Giant chicken?

The Enterprise???

“What are you doing?” “A report. I’m really interested in capitalism.” Djhsgjgskjvsevksevjesvjsefjv maybe Diego is right and Five is indeed a communist

“I know what it feels like to be unloved. I was born an object, and never treated as anything but.” It really was that bad, wasn’t it?” “For the both of us, yes.” B R U H

Evil Grace is fun

I love Allison and Five and their relationship so much

Five is interested in the stock market??

I am way too emotionally invested in whether Murder Magician and his baby make it out of there

Oh I CANNOT believe their romantic loves for their SISTERS is what unites them. I hate this.

What on earth is going on with Perseus and the flying head of Medusa

Alive Ben 😊☹

I am an idiot for not making the Perseus-Medusa connection sooner.

The Eiffel Tower now looks like the love child of the actual Eiffel Tower and the Atomium.

And now the Dr. Manhattan knock-off is here

God I love Allison so much

What the fuck is Pereus on about

Terminal eats a zoo

Scientific Man borders on plagiarism I’m sdhbgshsvjhksfvjksdjhkdsj

No no no no no not the Murder Magician

This whole baby arc makes me so soft

HELL YEAH LUTHER

Well this ended on a cliffhanger

[aforrestofstuff]

Okay! I have a burning question for you, my dude. Music is my life, and I wanna know what kind of music the OPM casts listen to. Thanks, my guy!

I had a feeling this would be inevitable lol. I don’t really know a whole lot about music or genres or anything like that so I’m just gonna give you a rundown of each character individually and some song recs along with that just to smooth things out a little. Thanks for your ask, by the way! ❤️ Now my playlists will be put to good use.

A Brief Rundown of the Major OPM Characters’ Music Tastes:

Blast: hc that he doesn’t even have ears since he never fucking LISTENS

Terrible Tornado: Stuff that makes her feel powerful. Loud vocals and good instrumentals. Also, she’s a little angsty since she’s saltier than the gotdamn Pacific almost all of the time. (Recs: Florence and the Machine - How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful, Susanne Sundfør - Delirious, Florence and the Machine - What Kind of Man, Kali Uchis - Dead to Me, Let’s Eat Grandma - Falling Into Me)

Fubuki: some of that real classy shit. Slow songs that are nice to just have a cup of tea with. Nothing too meaty or fast-paced, she enjoys taking a moment to breathe every once and a while since life gets pretty hectic when you’re managing a gang of some 30 hooligans. (Recs: Wes - Midnight Low, any song from Lana Del Rey’s entire discography lol, Florence and the Machine - Grace, The Marìas - I Don’t Know You, Yellow House - Ain’t Gonna Call, Feng Suave - Toking, Dozing)

Silverfang: Stuff from his time. I hc that he was a bit of a party animal back in his prime so he’s gotta have those grooves. Disco to the extremo. Also, another hc: Garou absolutely hates his music. He would play it during training and Garou would contemplate homicide. (Recs: Frankie Valli - Grease, The Edgar Winter Group - Free Ride, KC and the Sunshine Band - I’m Your Boogie Man, Matthew Wilder - Break My Stride, The Main Ingredient - Everybody Plays the Fool, Andrea True Connection - More, More, More)

Bomb: save as Silverfang, although I hc that Bomb was a little more of a nerd growing up. Still, he never missed out on a good party. (Additional Recs: KC and the Sunshine Band - Get Down Tonight, The Trammps - Disco Inferno, Tierra - Together, Cornelius Bros and Sister Rose - Too Late to Turn Back Now)

Atomic Samurai: Old shit. Shit older than Silverfang. He’s really not that old, but his soul is fucking ancient and he’s got that classic “grrr music these days sucks” kind of shithead attitude. (Recs: Jim Croce - Time in a Bottle, Dion - Runaround Sue, The Carpenters - The End of the World, The Band - The Weight)

Child Emperor: Upbeat synth. Stuff to listen to while he’s working on his machines and whatnot. Probably has meaty beats to keep him in tune with what he’s doing, like working around a clock. Probably some groovy citypop in there too. (Recs: Taeko Ohnuki - 4:00 AM, Junko Ohashi - Telephone Number, Tatsuro Yamashita - Magic Ways, Hiroyuki Sawano - NEXUS, Superfly - Kakusei, Mariya Takeuchi - Plastic Love)

Metal Knight: Intrumentals that Disney villains listen to. Deep, dark shit that makes you feel sad. He probably feeds off of negative emotion. What a toolbag. (Recs: Lucas King - Sociopath, Abel Korzeniowski- Table for Two, Max Richter - Never Goodbye, Max Richter - She Remembers, Evelyn Stein - Quiet Resource, Mac Quayle - Adagio in G Minor)

King: video game soundtracks, obviously. Might be some electro funk in there too, as a treat. (Recs: Metal Gear Solid 3 OST - Snake Eater, Mick Gordon - Rip and Tear, Xenoblade Chronicles OST - Main Theme, Persona 5 OST - Last Surprise, Daft Punk - Verdis Quo, Toby Fox - Hopes and Dreams, Disasterpeace - Prologue, iamthekidyouknowwhatimean - Run, Darren Korb - Old Friends)

Zombieman: Dad Music. Old rock that makes you wanna rail some lines of white thunder and dance on top of a car. He’d be reluctant to try out new stuff but does so nevertheless. Just a little bit of weird alternative here and there. (Recs: Poison - Unskinny Bop, Mötley Crüe - Dr. Feelgood, Black Sabbath - War Pigs, Def Leppard - Animal, CRX - Walls, MGMT - Little Dark Age, Pink Floyd - Money, Queens of the Stone Age - Villains of Circumstance)

Drive Knight: Dark synth, obviously. Need I say more? (Recs: El Tigr3 - She Swallowed Burning Coals, Trevor Something - Enjoy the Silence, Greg Drombrowski - Devour, GUNSHIP - Woken Furies, GUNSHIP - Thrasher, Carpenter Brut - Invasion A.D., Kavinsky - Nightcall)

Pig God: this guy probably just listens to ASMR of people eating food lol.

Superalloy Darkshine: Upbeat stuff that’s good for exercise; loving those new jams along with some of the old. He’s got a pretty groovy style. (Diane Ross - Ain’t No Mountain High Enough, Saint Motel - Puzzle Pieces, CRUISR - All Over, Barry White - Never, Never Gonna Give Ya Up, Sade - Kiss of Life)

Watchdog Man: 10 hour loop of wolves howling on a summer night.

Flashy Flash: classical. Some nice instrumentals to listen to while training. Stuff that preferably doesn’t have any or very little lyrics so it’s not too busy on his ears while he’s fantasizing about killing someone. (Recs: Vaughn Williams - The Lark Ascending, Debussy - Rêverie, Grieg - Peace of the Woods, André Laplante - Une Barque sur L’Ocean)

Metal Bat: Modern alternative. A little bit harder than say, Mumen and Kama, but not as hard as Zombieman or Death Gatling. He’s that middle ground where he’s still got some real bangers, but Zenko can listen as well. He’ll play this stuff loudly as he’s doing chores and working out, no headphones ever. It gets pretty annoying. (Recs: Foals - Exits, The Blue Stones - Black Holes, Solid Ground, CRX - Broken Bones, Jungle - Happy Man, The Strokes - Reptilia, We Are Trees - Girlfriend)

Genos: synth. But not just any synth, some heavy, fast-paced synth that’s just like him: speedy, relentless, and powerful. He listens to shit that’ll make you wanna get up and start killing Terminators. Probably. There’s some other synths in the mix too because we love a three-dimensional king. (Recs: Carpenter Brut - Division Ruine, The Protomen - I Still Believe, Carpenter Brut - Leather Teeth, Gunship - Tech Noir, TWRP - Phantom Racer, Le Castle Vania - Red Circle)

Tanktop Master: Dad music but the type of dad music that makes you think your dad was a sappy nerd back in the day. Long tracks that are good for workouts. (Tears for Fears - Woman in Chains, Pink Floyd - Us and Them, Duran Duran - Ordinary World, Billy Idol - Eyes without a Face, A Flock of Seagulls - I Ran, The Alan Parsons Project - Eye in the Sky, Tears for Fears - Sowing the Seeds of Love)

Puri-Puri Prisoner: Pop. Dance music. He doesn’t really get to listen to a lot of music in prison, so he holds on to whatever he can and savors every second of it. (Coldplay - Talk, Bruno Mars - Runaway Baby, Lady Gaga - Bad Romance, Flo Milli - Beef Flomix, Doja Cat - Say So)

Mumen Rider: Hes a lighthearted, soft boy. Likes some fluffy indie tunes. It helps to motivate him when working out or doing hero stuff. He might need to cry every once in a while though, so there’s some sad songs in the mix too. (Recs: Varsity - The Dogs Only Listen to Him, The The - This is the Day, Amarante - Don’t Look Back, Alvvays - Saved by a Waif, The Monkees - As We Go Along, Acid Ghost - Hide my Face, Mogwai - Take Me Somewhere Nice)

Sonic: same as Flash. He’s a little more hip with the times however, so he’s got some more groovy, electronic instrumentals to listen to in addition to some elegant stuff and isn’t opposed to having a little bit of lyrics sprinkled in there as well. In fact, he’s not opposed to uppity pop either. He thinks dancing is frivolous but he secretly does it when he thinks nobody is looking. (Additional Recs: Odesza - Bloom, Pretty Lights - One Day They’ll Know [Odesza Remix], BØRNS - Electric Love, Hembree - Culture, The Cinematic Orchestra - Arrival of the Birds)

Garou: same as Metal Bat. Bang let him have a little MP3 player during his time at the dojo and has since collected a few songs on there. They’re very near and dear to his heart since it’s one of the few good things that came from his absolute disaster of a childhood. (Additional Recs: Foals - Inhaler, CRX - Slow Down, Deep Sea Arcade - Close to Me, Gorillaz - Empire Ants, The Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger, Glass Animals - Take A Slice)

Death Gatling: Shit your old Vietnam-vet grandpa would blast on the back of his F150. He gives me self-righteous asshole vibes, if I’m honest. Like, don’t get me wrong, I like Death Gatling, but he seems like the type of trailer park-dwelling sewer rat to carry a revolver into a Walmart for “self defense” and that’s probably the type of music he listens to, too. (Recs: Megadeth - Trust, Megadeth - Angry Again, Creedence Clearwater Revival - Fortunate Son, Glen Campbell - Southern Nights, Mötley Crüe - Kickstart My Heart, Quiet Riot - Cum on Feel the Noize)

One-Shotter: I hard hc that he had an emo phase he never quite grew out of. He doesn’t quite listen to emo anymore but he’s still into that alternative shit. Homeboy also likes some slow tunes every once and a while because he’s an emotional dude who’s not afraid of a good cry. (Recs: Anything from Blink-182, Arctic Monkeys - Do I Wanna Know?, MGMT - When You Die, Mazzy Star - Fade Into You, Cigarettes After Sex - Dreaming of You, Yon Ort - Other Matter)

Lightning Max: Same as Genos but without the terminator-killing. Fast-paced stuff because he’s a fast lightning dude. A little more upbeat because he’s not as much as an edgelord as Genos, however. (Additional Recs: Carpenter Brut - Hang’em All, The Flaming Lips - Do You Realize, Worn Tin - Sensitivity, B.E.R. - The Night Begins to Shine, Martin Hall - Different Kind of Love)

Stinger: he’s all about that FUNK! Stuff that gets him moving! Stuff that makes him wanna dance! (Recs: Daft Punk - Doin’ it Right, TWRP - Body Image, Wild Cherry - Play that Funky Music, Chemise - She Can’t Love You, Saga - Wind Him Up, Saga - On the Loose, TWRP - All Night Forever)

Okamaitachi: they give me electro vibes! New, modern shit that’s good to dance to or to just sit down and have a listen! Also, some shit that’ll probably play in a coming-of-age teen movie or something. They don’t really vibe with heavy music and that’s alright, babey! Keeping it light and bouncy. (Recs: Tei Shi - Bassically, Varsity - Must Be Nice, Class Actress - Weekend, CHVRCHES - Richard Pryor, Alvvays - Marry Me, Archie, Sobs - Telltale Signs, Goth Babe - Sometimes, ALASKALASKA - Meateater)

Iaian: Nice, low tunes that are good for meditation and to be used for background noise during training sessions. He never really sits down to listen to music, it’s always in the background of something else he’s doing so he prefers to have some soft beats that don’t really interfere with his senses. Tunes so quiet, he sometimes uses them as lullabies; especially since the trauma of losing his arm has since made it hard to sleep. (Recs: Boy Scouts - Saddest Boy, Susanne Sundfør - Mantra, Vashiti Bunyan - If I Were the Same but Different, Starman Jr. - Blue Fairy, Patrick Watson - Je te Laisserai des Mots, Sibylle Baier - I Lost Something in the Hills)

Bushidrill: same as Atomic Samurai just without the shitty attitude. He’s happy to listen to some newer stuff, he just doesn’t like it and that’s okay, baby! Probably some classy shit your wise old grandpa would listen to. (Recs: Dean Martin - Volare, Dion - The Wanderer, Peppino Gagliardi - Che Vuole Questra Musica Stasera, anything from Luis Miguel lol, Franco Micalizzi - Sadness Theme)

Amai Mask: probably just listens to his own music like a putz. If not, he’s listening to the sound equivalent of glittering diamonds. He’s probably got this shit playing at the end of a long day while he’s chilling in a hot bath or something. (Recs: Fergie - Glamorous, Rita Ora - Hot Right Now, Lana Del Rey - Freak, Lana Del Rey - Art Deco, Tame Impala - Feels Like We Only Go Backwards)

Saitama: He doesn’t listen to music much anymore, sadly. He did, however, have a killer motivational mix to get him through his vigorous training prior to becoming a hero. (Recs: Paul Engemann - Push it to the Limit, Journey - Don’t Stop Believin’, College & Electric Youth - A Real Hero, Joe Esposito - You’re the Best Around, Survivor - Eye of the Tiger, The Bee Gees - Nights on Broadway)

Here’s the playlist with all of these songs in order (mostly):

It’s on YouTube because I’m allergic to Spotify. I’ve got a doctor’s note. Also, all of my other playlists are on my little profile thingy so if you want to listen to my pile then go right ahead.

Thanks for your ask, my dude! ❤️ this took up ALL of my energy lol but it was fun.

[klutzdeluxe]

My Second Ritual - Omaha 11/6/2018

Okay. Finally, my second ritual. So it was over a month ago at this point, and I cannot believe I never put up my notes about it! It was amazeballs. Just as good as my first one in Kansas City! I met up with some super cool fans from a Facebook group beforehand and we got some supper. Some of us were VIP/photo op, so after we ate, we waited in line together. They helped me keep my sanity because I was absolutely FREAKING OUT about meeting the Cardinal. Thanks, guys! I’ve never met any sort of celebrity before. EVER.

~The moment I stepped through that curtain, I was a goner. I briefly made eye contact, felt my soul leave my body, and couldn’t look him in the face again. I shook his hand and he said, “Oh that’s quite the tight grip you’ve got!” or something along those lines. My brain short-circuits and I think I’m hurting him or some shit. I yelp, “I’m sorry!” and practically drop his hand. He wraps an arm around me and helps guide me to the photo spot because all I can do is mumble about never having done a photo op before and look at my feet. He holds me and we take the photo. I get my wits together enough to tell him, “Take care of yourself on the road!” and the Cardinal says he will and thanks me. I was so starstruck that I forgot to give my name, ask for a hug, or tell him basically anything I wanted to, so I was upset about it for a few days.

~In the end, the picture turned out decent, which is rare because I’m unphotogenic af. Plus I wrote him a card (with a cat on the front) with everything I wanted to say in it and was able to get it to another fan to give to him at their photo op. In that, I had some closure.

~We chatted with a few security guards before the show, and they really didn’t know anything about Ghost but seemed eager to learn about them. Later on, I saw the same guards bobbing their heads during the performance and taking a million pictures on their phones. It was great to see.

~To the ritual! I was third row in the orchestra pit, to my left, in which the seating was a bunch of folding chairs that would definitely not be staying in place. BOOM. Ended up right in Aether’s line of view this time. Eye contact immediately when the curtain went up during “Ashes.” Persisted throughout the whole night.

~For the record, if you’re toward the front during any show, it’s really not that hard to snag the attention of the band members. Especially if you’re a jumpy, bouncy bitch who sings along to everything like me. I was at it with my hands up the entire way through. INSTANTLY this was different than the Kansas City show. They sounded so fresh and ALIVE. You could tell they had the day off before.

~Periodically throughout the show, Aether would be jumping in time with my bunny-hopping, looking at me. It made me so freaking happy. What a goof!

~The Cardinal was annoyed about it being a Tuesday, so he made us pretend it was a Friday night instead.

~I think I got to hear him say, “For shits and giggles” at one point. I’ve never felt so blessed.

~I was one of the few belting out “Lord of silence/Desolated one/Vengeance is his” during the bridge of “Idolatrine.” Copia stared at me, gestured at me, and conducted my screechy singing.

~Waving my hands around, conducting the ghouls while they played “Devil Church” and getting various head tilts and “wtf” stares from them.

~At this point, I had been interacting with Aether from my spot quite a bit, so I cheered him on as loudly as I could during the pre-Cirice duel with Dewdrop. This time, he lost on trying to pick out A-ha’s “Take on Me.” For some stupid ass reason, my brain couldn’t figure out what the song was until I saw a video of it the next day.

~THE LITTLE GIRL GETTING CIRICED. I DIED. IT WAS SO PRECIOUS. We were all clapping so loudly for her. Also props to her for having the coolest dad in the world. I believe she did the photo op too.

~As “Cirice” ended, Aether pointed at me and attempted to throw me a guitar pick. He whiffed it, as it ended up in the hands of a man in front and to the right of me instead. Now, I missed his pick in Kansas City due to a similar circumstance, so I kind of just shrugged and pouted at him, and Aether shakes his head and throws his hands up in an apologetic gesture. I’m a bit sour about missing yet ANOTHER pick from him.

~Conducting the ghouls again during “Miasma” and just absolutely losing myself dancing to it, as you do. Aether was watching me dance. At this point, the chairs have really been moved around, in and out of the rows.

~Copia telling us to clap on the 2 and 4 of “Jigolo Har Megiddo.” The dude next to me sassed him saying, “So, 1 and 3?” very loudly. Copia stopped short and said, “NO! No, that’s stupid!”

~Copia conducting us during the vocalizing at the end of “Pro Memoria.” There’s nothing like it. It’s one of my favorite bits. Cue my screechy singing again in order to be loud.

~Dew didn’t come over to our side of the stage much but he did at some point and gave me a head tilt. I doubt he remembered me from KC. I’m kind of plain-looking.

~Swiss noticed me and started copying my dance moves during “Witch Image.” Just different ways of swaying and small hops.

~So it’s “Life Eternal” again and I’m crying. No meaningful interactions with the ghouls this time, BUT I got the smug satisfaction of seeing Dewdrop NOT interact with anyone during the song like he did with me in Kansas City. I’m horrible, sorryyyy. Chatted with some wonderful people around me during intermission.

~”Spirit” and “From the Pinnacle to the Pit” go by, and I’m getting real antsy about not still having a pick from Aether. I noticed that there is a wide open space (due to chairs being shifted and people not coming back from intermission) right in front of the stage, directly in front of Aether. “Majesty” starts up and I see that a few people have already jumped rows. I debated for a bit, looked security (who weren’t giving a rat’s ass), and climbed over seats to the open spot at the front. All of us in the VIP section paid the same price to be there, after all. Aether cocked his head at me, seeming surprised to see that I moved, and then just nodded.

~OMAHA, I’M SO PROUD OF YOU. We sang that chorus loud and proud during “Satan Prayer.” Copia was SO satisfied with us! Also his cape didn’t fasten properly so it was undone for most of the song; I nearly imploded. Also, several pairs of panties and maybe a bra were tossed onstage during this song. Copia picked up one pair and cracked a joke about, “Someone in the audience standing there bare-assed.” The other undergarments sat up there sadly, to be carried off by an unfortunate stage crewman when the song ended.

~Have I mentioned that ”Faith” is such a jam? I threw my neck out again. During the live performances, the Cardinal adds a growl during the intro that I can feel in my ass. Also Copia acts like he’s waving away a fart behind him during the “A fecal trail across the land” line. I died because it looked like he was sneaking away from cropdusting someone.

~Poor Dewdrop was so sick. During “He Is,” (I think), I saw him lift his mask a little and wipe his dripping snot on his sleeve. He went about it in a “Ewwww” kind of way.

~At the end of that one, Aether ONCE MORE points at me and tosses me a pick. It hits my fingers and falls to the floor. I drop to my knees IMMEDIATELY and scramble to find it. I do fairly quickly, stand up, and kiss it, elatedly holding it above my head in victory. Aether pumps his fist in the air when he sees me waving it around. I tuck it into my bra because “Mummy Dust” is about to start and we’re going fucking crazy. Sadly, very few bills were dropped. I did have Copia thrusting like five feet from my face though. I am eternally grateful for that experience.

~After Aether was introduced during the break in “If You Have Ghosts,” I blew him a kiss, and he caught it and clapped his hand to the side of his face, acting all bashful and cute about it. HE’S SUCH A SWEETHEART.

~For some reason, I was thinking that this was the last song, despite having been to the KC ritual. So when they played “Dance Macabre,” I was thrilled there was still more to the show and boogied around like the idiot I am. That song makes me so happy. Again, Swiss starts imitating my dance movements, adding a little more shimmying around this time. All right. Boi’s got my attention now.

~I’m trying to get good photos of Swiss now, but Aether is pouting and keeps photobombing them whenever I point my phone in that direction, pointing at himself to redirect my focus back to him. I stuck my tongue out at him. Brat.

~Have I ever said how much I love “Square Hammer” live? FUCK. THE ENERGY. Due to it being the “last song,” I blow a kiss to Swiss when it’s all over and get one from him in return. I have perished and am very distracted for the rest of the evening.

~Copia changing his mind about pretending it’s a Friday and telling us, “It’s Tuesday. Go home!” And we boo.

~During his speech before “Monstrance Clock,” he again takes note of the little girl he sang to during Cirice and asks her how her evening was. He also substituted the word “organism” for “orgasm,” for her. Such a soft father.

~I am fully watching Swiss now and his “Monstrance Clock” hips now and GODDAMN HIM. He put me in heat with those moves, I swear. I was instantly a hot mess. I was transfixed and soooo mad that I hadn’t paid more attention to him sooner.

~There was a cute lil’ stuffed dragon sitting at the front of the stage during the song. I’m not sure if it got picked up or not.

~That moment when the lights come on at the end of “Monstrance Clock” and the stage is completely empty as the song fades out is the most HORRIBLE feeling. Because it’s over and the absence of the band members is so profound. “Monstrance Clock” still occasionally makes me sad.

~A few of us waited outside by the buses for the band to come out. IT WAS FREEZING OUT. I hate the Midwest. We didn’t see Tobias (I think they snuck him out the back to their hotel across the street) BUT we did see both Ghoulettes (THEY’RE SO BEAUTIFUL. QUEENS!) and Dewdrop (Per) walk out, along with another member I wasn’t too familiar with at the time, so that was pretty rad.

I know my summaries might come off as a little self-indulgent, but it’s how it happened in my mind. Plus everyone else’s are too. And honestly, my rituals are something I want to remember. Major kudos to the Omaha crowd. Best crowd I’ve seen at a show in a while.

[yo-namine]

Last KH3 playthrough post! Endgame spoilers are below the cut.

Just a warning: This post is REALLY long and contains, um… opinions.

I’m glad the final battle trailer scenes happen right off the bat. I had no idea what would come next, and it made the experience that much more interesting.

Why do none of these keyslingers know how to block? First Aqua tries to shield Ven with her own body, then Sora does the same for Kairi. Just hit square, guys.

ZETTAFLARE DONALD ILU SO MUCH

The way Riku and Aqua stepped up to Sora’s side made me think they were going to be party members in another demon tide battle, but nope. Boo.

I’m surprised that Aqua just… let the demon tide take her? What the hell?

Sora loses Kairi, Donald, and Goofy and just… crumbles. He completely gives up and says it’s all over. Riku almost starts to try to soothe him, but instead, he gets up, tells Sora that he knows that’s bullshit, and then faces off against the demon tide (which was polite enough to wait for Sora and Riku to finish their conversation before attacking, by the way). It’s like a moment of tough love, and it’s actually what I was expecting Roxas to do back when I assumed he would be the one to show up in the Graveyard and pull Sora back on his feet. I wasn’t expecting a bunch of reassurances like “no, you’re not worthless, we can still do this, everything will be okay” but rather, “Get up, we’re not finished here.”

So Riku confronts the heartless and Sora just… watches in horror as they take him, too. And he doesn’t even fight back when they turn and come for him. And then the screen cuts to black and shows the final line of the prophecy, and… That was a really effective way to end that scene. Damn.

Yeah, I don’t know how to play chess, but I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to just conjure extra pieces from thin air, Eraqus. That was a nice line from him, though, about light from the past. Like, “The light doesn’t need time travel bullshit to kick your ass because HEARTS.”

Sora fucking died. Sora actually, literally fucking died. He goes to the Final World because he died. Holy shit.

The Final World is beautiful, and the music is lovely, too. The first thing I did after getting control again was take some selfies of dead Sora, ngl.

Sora’s been to the Final World before in his sleep, and Chirithy just let him pass through lmao.

Who is the first star that Sora talks to here? At first I thought it was Xion, but she says a “somebody” sent her to the Final World, so… Strelitzia? Ava? Skuld? lol I like that Sora just sits down next to her like this conversation’s the most normal thing ever. He’s dead and talking to another dead person, and he just rolls with it. I love this kid.

Some of the optional star conversations really got to me. One of them says that their friends replaced them after they died (“That was my seat. That was my place at the table.”). There’s also one that was apparently a child looking for their father, and that one actually made me tear up.

I’m not sure who the one who talked about being “identical” was. I think a third talks about their mentor, and perhaps that was a past keyblade apprentice? Another says that people teased them and a friend about being an item, and they pulled away from the relationship, and the other person never closed the distance. All of their little stories are just… sad. Jesus.

Naminé has a star! I missed her star on my first playthrough, but I replayed this part just for her scene. I wish I’d gotten it the first time, though. She clarifies that Kairi’s the one keeping Sora tethered to the world of the living. And god, Naminé’s words are so sad. She truly doesn’t think anyone really misses her or that she matters at all. But Sora says that he and the others (including “someone else special,” who I think may’ve been Xion?) miss her and want her back. AND she mentions her conversation with Terra from the orchestra! Holy shit, WHY was this conversation optional? That was important story stuff that explained why Lingering Will shows up when we rehash the fight in the Graveyard. Naminé came through for everyone in a pretty major way, and if you don’t talk to her star (which is VERY easy to miss), you’d never know it. Though… I guess that’s kind of fitting in a meta way. Naminé helping people from behind the scenes and not expecting any credit, I mean. Still, I wish I hadn’t missed this on my first playthrough. Anyway, Naminé’s “Let’s just say I’ve got your back?” was really cute. And then Sora thanks her and gets all flustered. “That’s not the official thank-you!”

I’m… still not clear on what exactly the power of waking is or how it differs from restoring someone’s heart the old-fashioned way (i.e. taking a Keblade of Heart to the chest), but okay.

JIMINY SURVIVED ALL OF THAT JFSKLFFJL

I liked going through the different worlds to save all of Sora’s friends. It was a nice callback to KH1, when you visit different worlds in End of the World, and when you get to Realm of Chaos and have to rescue Donald and Goofy from Ansem SoD’s heartless… ship… thing. It was really annoying fighting the same boss over and over again, though. It wasn’t difficult (save for one instance where the lich spammed aeroga and pinned me against the ceiling. I only survived because it triggered rage form.), and I get that it was just a series of symbolic battles, but I dunno, maybe just giving him less HP for me to have to mow down would’ve made it less tedious.

So the power of waking is “traversing hearts to reach worlds.” So I guess that’s what Sora was doing while falling through the different Stations of Awakening and then arriving in different worlds.

“There’s no saving you.” Fuck, okay, after finishing the game, this line in the sleeping San Fransokyo hits a lot harder. You think Kid Xehanort knows that Team Nort is planning to snatch Kairi and use Sora’s desire to save her to ultimately destroy him? Because if so… ugh.

Sora and Kairi’s little spin when they reunite is so cute.

“I feel strong with you, Kairi.” Awww but also UGHHHHHHHH because I know what’s coming. And then Sora has flashbacks to Eugene and Anna sacrificing themselves for someone they love, and I’m not 100% sure why. Is it just foreshadowing his sacrifice for Kairi? Is he afraid that her rescuing him will cost her her own life? Whatever it is, Kairi seems to read Sora’s mind and says that he’s safe with her. And again, that’s really sweet, and I like that her PoH powers are FINALLY being explored in some way, but fuck, knowing how this all ends makes watching this scene so painful the second time around.

I was so confused when Sora was revived and we started replaying that confrontation scene in the Graveyard. The first time I played it, I was very seriously considering skipping the cutscene and reloading my save because I thought I’d gone the wrong way or something, but then Lingering Will showed up and the scene changed. Phew. I guess we went in a little time loop there. But wait, if everyone’s aware that Sora revived them, then they must remember how they were taken in the first place, right? If that’s the case, why the hell did Ven run up to Terra a second time? Why didn’t anyone stop him? Why did Aqua have to look “Terra” in the eye a second time to know it wasn’t him? Am I to assume that if Naminé hadn’t summoned Lingering Will, these dingdongs would’ve all lost their hearts AGAIN?

I’m so over demon tide boss fights, but damn if that battle theme doesn’t kick ass.

EPHEMERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT, OF ALL THE THINGS I NEVER SAW COMING. He helps Sora use the keyblades of all the fallen wielders from the first war to fight off the heartless, and you use the names of all those KHUX users who won that KH3 contest as attacks. Oh my gosh, what a sweet tribute. I like thinking that Larkey’s keyblade helped, too. <3

Oh god, when KH1 Riku showed up and Forze Del Male started playing, my entire life flashed before my eyes. I DID NOT want a rehash of that fight. I was relieved that I didn’t have to, but I was also just a little disappointed because that Xehanort shadow that emerges from him looked like a cool potential boss. I feel like there are actually a lot of scenes that happened in the Graveyard that would’ve worked better as actual battles or gameplay, tbh.

Also, that Forze De Male remix was hot as hell.

R.I.P. to all of fandom’s “Yen Sid is useless” jokes. What a way to go.

“You’re a whole pint by yourself, Sora.” I LOVE THIS DUCK SO MUCH.

I like that the maze tries to force you to choose between helping Riku or Mickey first like it’s some tragic moral dilemma. Like oh gee, let me think: Best written character in the series, or corporate icon Ricky Rat? That said, I actually did go to Mickey first just because I couldn’t get past the moving wall puzzle lmao. I wish this area had had a few more puzzles, though. I felt like I breezed through it way too fast.

Riku is really nerfed as a party member. He was CONSTANTLY KO’d in my fight against the Norts. Like damn dude, even Kairi stayed conscious through her battle (all 5 seconds of it, but still).

Repliku tears himself away from his own vessel and leaves it. For Naminé. Fuck, I didn’t expect that at all. What a great scene, and what a better ending for a character whose story I thought ended in CoM. I loved that.

Didn’t love that Riku and Sora just left Naminé’s vessel facedown in the dirt, though. Like… at least prop it against the wall or something guys, geez.

I like that you get a sort of farewell scene between the heroes and all the main villains of the series. It may’ve been a little fanservicey, but oh well. I’m not so hot on it from a story standpoint. Like I know we’re doing the anime thing where “I defeated you in battle, now we’re cool” but it still felt… odd. But at least it’s not as obnoxious as what comes up later with Master Xehanort.

I liked Larxene’s take on this especially, how she’d rather be destroyed than be a Nort. Why she joined up in the first place is still a mystery… And her answering Sora the way she did implies that the Norts aren’t just possessed mind slaves. They do have agency, though I guess that was clear from Even and Demyx turning against them, now that I remember it.

Building on the agency thing, I liked Vanitas’s scene with Ven. Ven wanted so badly for Vanitas to come to the light, but… It really wasn’t what Vanitas wanted for himself. “We decide who we are.” “I did decide who I am.” It’s tragic, but I like that it showed that not everyone was getting a happy ending from this game, and that there are some people you just can’t save.

COME GUARDIAN WAS TERRA’S HEARTLESS AFTER ALL. FUCK YES. I love that theory and I’m so happy it turned out to be correct!!!!! 

And then we finally get a Wayfinder reunion!!!!!! 

“What final words do you have for your superior?” Okay, I know this game is rated E10, but I half expected Axel to just look up and say “Fuck you.”

Xemnas and Axel’s conversation was so meta. Axel bragging about how popular he was, Xemnas calling Axel’s keyblade a joke. Like… Damn, they really paid attention to fandom over the years, didn’t they? I just wish they’d paid this much attention to all the fans who wanted a good storyline for Kairi. Anywho, Xemnas destroys Axel’s keyblade, so we lose two Lights from this scene. I’m kind of grateful that happened, actually. Having Axel lose his spot made it a little easier to accept Kairi losing hers. But only a little. Kairi getting kidnapped AGAIN was still stupid and contrived.

Unlike the other Norts, Xion’s apparently not acting on her own free will when the fight starts. Sora telling her “You can stop now” seemed to break something within her. And then Xemnas turns to attack her, and Sora’s heart reaches out to someone, and then BOOM. Roxas shows up to sass Xemnas and save the day!!! 

I barely did anything in that Isa fight, lmao. I tried to land a few hits on him, but then I realized Roxas could handle him just fine alone, so I just hung back with Xion and cast cure here and there.

I’m disappointed that there’s almost no interaction between Roxas and Sora beyond a couple of nods, tbh. It’s kind of a weak payoff after all the fuss Sora made about wanting to save Roxas at the start of the game. That was what Sora decided to fight for “with all his heart,” and then once Roxas is back, we just keep blazing ahead with the story without a moment to appreciate the fact that he accomplished his goal (or rather, someone else accomplished it for him).

Aww, Xion looked so left out when she stood of to the side and started crying. It was almost like she was hesitant to join Axel and Roxas after she came so close to almost killing both of them. She didn’t even reach for the other two when Axel pulled them into a group hug, she just kept her hands clasped tight together and sort of curled in on herself. Aw, honey. Anyway, I’m glad these three will get to be together again.

I half expected Riku to snap “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?” when Sora tells him that Kairi’s been kidnapped.

I liked both Xemnas and Ansem SoD’s sendoffs. Kid Xehanort doesn’t give a shit that he lost, though, he just fucks off back to the past knowing damn well what’s about to happen. And to that, I again say ugh.

And then we get… that scene. What the fuck did Xehanort mean by “You need motivation.”? Motherfucker, we are already out here in the Keyblade Graveyard having this showdown. Kingdom Hearts is looming above us. Sora just got done killing all ninety-seven billion Xehanorts. This fight is happening no matter what you do. This doesn’t make any fucking sense. Having Xehanort kill off Kairi was stupid and unnecessary and pointless and lazy and truly horrible, horrible writing. And see, I can’t even give Nomura the benefit of the doubt here because he actually had Xehanort call Kairi Sora’s “motivation.” That was it. That was the only reason Xehanort killed her. Not because she was a keyblade wielder who was in the way of his goal, not because she was a Princess of Heart whose power could pose a threat. Not because of anything Kairi did or who she was as a person, but because she was a THING that was important to Sora. Fuck that. Fuck that entire scene, fuck everything about it, fuck everyone who gave that writing decision the green light. Fuck it. And knowing how this game ends (with Sora apparently sacrificing himself to save Kairi), Kairi now has more motivation than EVER to fight to get him back, but you know Nomura won’t give a shit when it comes time to write scenarios for KH4. He’s just gonna throw Kairi back on the islands and have Riku be the hero. Riku will find Sora, they’ll have adventures together and apart, they’ll continue to grow as characters, and then they’ll go home to where Kairi’s just sitting pretty, waiting to be the perfect reward for everything Sora’s accomplished. So there you go, that’s Kingdom Hearts IV. I just saved you $50 in the future (not adjusted for inflation).

Just. Jesus Christ, of all the idiotic tone-deaf bullshit… To have so much self-awareness while writing Naminé’s dialogue in the Final World and Axel’s scene with Xemnas in the Graveyard and then NONE OF THAT WHATSOEVER when it came to writing Kairi’s final scenes… That��s unreal. It’s almost unbelievable, but I really shouldn’t be surprised. Nomura’s pulled this shit before, so oop @ me for actually expecting better from him. Lesson fucking learned.

Anyway, after we get past all that stupid sexist bullshit that I actively hated, Sora gets ready to leave for the next area. I like that Donald and Goofy literally pick him up off the ground and help him stand, and that they go with him afterward. I just love the Trinity Trio in this game so much. They feel so much like a family now, and since I’m clearly never ever ever ever getting any decent Destiny Trio development, that’s a nice comfort. The other keyslingers stay behind to keep Kingdom Hearts shut, and Xion tells Sora that she can sense that Kairi will be okay, which… Yeah, alright. I just saw Xehanort slash into her back and shatter her into thousands of pieces, but no, I’m sure she’s fine. flskjdf Okay, sorry, I get what that scene with Xion was trying to do, but it just doesn’t make any sense? Xion is Sora’s replica, not Kairi’s. I could buy that she can sense Sora’s heart, but she has no real connection to Kairi’s at all, so how would she know that Kairi’s okay? Maybe she was just saying that as a way to comfort Sora, like a “she’ll always be in your heart” kind of thing, but even that feels off. Like that’s the kind of thing you say to someone a couple weeks after the funeral, not right there at the crime scene. Oh well. I guess it was sweet that she at least wanted him to hear that.

Then we get to Scala ad Caelum, which was kind of a letdown, really. I was hoping to get to explore the city, but you really just have one large area that’s ultimately just a battlefield. The boss battles weren’t much of a challenge at all, and you don’t even have to defeat them all, which was disappointing, but eh. The only tense moment was when Xehanort triggered Sora’s rage form in the final battle, but Donald and Goofy kept me healed up enough that it wasn’t much of a problem.

Xehanort uses the “one sky, one destiny” line from Kairi’s letter. Like it’s not enough that he killed her, he’s gotta plagiarize her, too. Dick.

Donald and Goofy help Sora ward off Xehanort’s final attack! Like they literally, physically help him push back against it! I love these half-pints. <3

Eraqus! He asks Terra to look after his other apprentices for him, aw.

Xehanort gives Sora the X-blade, and there’s no “sorry I killed your friend” or anything. He just goes on to be at peace with Eraqus. Seriously? This dude abuses Ven, hijacks Terra’s body, throws Aqua into the Realm of Darkness, murders Kairi, and he still gets to pass on peacefully into the next life with his bff? Come the fuck on.

Hearing “Always On My Mind” again was nice. That was always one of my favorite tracks from KH1.

Okay, after rewatching the ending cinematic, it makes a lot more sense to me. Riku suggests that they all go back to Yen Sid’s place to figure out how to save Kairi (which… why are we all acting like this is something that can just be undone? She wasn’t taken into darkness by the heartless like before; Xehanort struck her down. We didn’t see her heart leave her body or anything, she just shattered. To me, that looks like an E10-rated game’s version of death.), but Sora knows what he has to do. It wasn’t until the second time through this ending that I realized he was already planning on waking her heart at the expense of his own life. Knowing that, it’s a little odd that Riku just lets him go with a roundabout way of saying “I believe in you.” Kairi’s supposedly Riku’s friend, too, isn’t she? And he knows how to wake sleeping hearts, too, so why couldn’t he go with Sora to find her? 

I loved seeing the Wayfinder Trio laying flowers at Eraqus’s memorial. I also like that keyblades are apparently used specifically for this when the wielder has passed on. That’s a nice bit of world building. And Chirithy is reunited with Ven after all (who apparently remembers them)! Aww. I still don’t know how the hell Ven exists in this timeline, but still. Aw.

I love Xion’s new outfit, and that she and her boys got to go back to Twilight Town together. I’m not so hot on Isa being there, though, and I’m really put off by how chummy he and Roxas seem. I know these scenes are taking place after a little time has passed, so maybe there was some tension between them at first that we just don’t see because it’s not particularly relevant, but still… Anyway, a shadow passes over them for a moment, and I think it must’ve been the gummi ship arriving to pick them up and take them to a party on Destiny Islands. Nice.

When I got to the scene of Naminé waking up in Radiant Garden… I actually started sobbing. Like that’s embarrassing to admit, but that scene hit me so hard. Just watching her open her eyes, and then seeing Dilan and Aeleus lead her out to the courtyard where the ship lands. Seeing her smile when Riku holds out his hand to her… I started crying while typing this up just remembering it, haha. I loved that moment so, so much. I’m so happy she gets to be her own person, that Ansem helped restore her to finally give her a life of her own after everything he put her through. I love that Riku’s the person to welcome her onto the ship, that he’s doing this for the Replica who gave up the vessel for her, but also because she’s been his friend, too (albeit largely off-screen). And the final shot of her laying her hand so gently in his... Holy god, what a finale shot. That scene ALONE was worth the thirteen year wait for me. I am truly stunned that that was part of the ending, that Naminé—of all characters—was the final person they built up to. That was just so much more than I had ever hoped for for her.

And then the actual final scene. You have all the main characters playing on the beach. Xion and Naminé are finding seashells; Riku, Roxas, and Terra are running around doing… something; the Twilight Town kids and Goofy and Donald are making sand castles; Lea, Ven, and Isa are playing frisbee. And then everyone stops to look at Sora and Kairi on the paopu tree. Sora vanishes, and you see Kairi start to slowly curl in on herself as the scene fades to black. And… upon rewatch, I actually like this ending? I was confused the first time I watched it because I didn’t have Kid Xehanort’s words in San Fransokyo fresh on my mind at the time, but when I went back and watched all the scenes together, I understood that Sora woke up her heart, and him “abusing” that power took its toll. I’m alright with us actually not seeing him do this (or at least, I’m not bothered by that by itself. I’m really bothered that it happened like that after Kairi got fridged the way she did, but on its own, it’s fine.). I’m upset that Sora’s gone, but truthfully, I was sort of expecting it. And like I said in my tirade about Kairi’s writing a few bullet points up, you know he’ll be back. It’s just really upsetting to know that Kairi now has to live with the guilt over the fact that he gave up his life for her, and that—as far as she knows—she’ll never see him again. And you just know that Nomura will absolutely, positively not let her do anything about it come KH4, to which I can only say, again: UGH.

I don’t care about Braig being Luxu, bye.

I think I’m still too raw from the emotional highs (and lows) of this game to really analyze everything as clearly as I’d like. There’s still stuff I want to talk about, but I’ll save that for another time. I can’t deny how much I enjoyed everything that happened before Kairi got fridged, but man, that one point really sours a lot of this game for me.

But yeah, that’s all for now.

[dogmomwrites]

Hello, please share some good progressive metal bands! I'm a big fan of symphonic metal and Marko Hietala from Nightwish put out an album a year or so ago that took some inspiration from progressive music. I've been interested in it since then but have no idea where to even start.

oh my god my dude, this is the greatest genre there is. There's so much talent. The riffs! The atmospheres! The lyrics! The stories! It's so incredibly versatile that no matter what your preference or even what mood you're in, there's a band for it. I only know a fraction of the bands out there, but here are some of my favorites!

This is gonna be a long one, y'all. Don't blame me if you click the keep reading break, but! If anyone else has some progressive (or progressive-adjacent) bands they wanna share, please do! As I said, I only know so many, and I'm always happy to discover new music!

⚠️ long post! ⚠️

⚠️ really long, guys! ⚠️

Leprous (from Norway)-- probably my personal favorite band (although I will say I have no idea what the fuck they were doing with Bilateral's cover art). I'm not really certain how best to describe their style tbh it's distinctly Leprous, yet it blends a lot of the progressive categories together. Experimental is probably the best I've got there lol

They have the single greatest singer in Einar Solberg. His range is unbelievable. His control is unbelievable. His power is unbelievable. His rough vocals are so satisfying and then he'll turn right around and blow you away with the vulnerability in his voice. He overshadows every other member of that band, which is ridiculous because they're all insanely talented. If you go to Artist Pick on their Spotify page, they have a playlist that contains their entire discography, starting with their most recent album. Singling out individual songs of theirs to recommend would end up with me including at least two whole albums, so that's what I'm suggesting for them. Their most recent album is a genuine masterpiece anyway, so it's a great place to start for them. Their style has changed a small bit over the years, but I personally think they've refined it. They've just gotten better with every album--with the exception of The Congregation; I'd rank that one above Malina

Orden Ogan (from Germany)-- progressive metal meets power metal, with a tiny dash of folk metal thrown in. Their best albums would be Easton Hope, Final Days, and Gunmen, probably in that order. From their other albums, don't miss Ravenhead, F.E.V.E.R., Sorrow is Your Tale (album: Ravenhead), To the End, The Things We Believe In, Dying Paradise (album: To the End), To New Shores of Sadness, The Lords of the Flies, ...And if You Do Right, and the folk version of We Are Pirates! (album: Vale)

Powerwolf (from Germany)-- technically not a progressive band, but most who like progressive also love them, so I'm tossing them in. Their style is more befitting the power metal category, as they're not very progressive. However, they have been releasing fantastic orchestral versions of their new songs, so they fall into the symphonic metal category as well now! If you've been looking for werewolf metal or metal-as-religion, then I gotchu. Powerwolf is just what you needed.

Attila Dorn is another fantastic vocalist. His voice is so rich and powerful and thematic, and it works so so well with their style. They have so many phenomenal songs that trying to list all of their best would basically be a top 50, so honestly just go to their Most Popular on their Spotify page and just let that shit play. If you're not interested in any of that, you're not gonna care for them in general

Diablo Swing Orchestra (from Sweden)-- just one example of the variety to be found in the progressive genre. They have a wonderful chaotic style that borders on circus metal, and I love it. Sometimes they lean towards opera, sometimes towards swing, sometimes towards disco. I'll admit to being sweet on the album Swagger and Stroll Down the Rabbit Hole because that was my introduction to them, but Balrog Boogie, Rag Doll Physics (album: The Butcher's Ballroom), Lucy Fears the Morning Star, Bedlam Sticks, Vodka Inferno (album: Singalong Songs for the Damned and Delirious), Voodoo Mon Amour, Black Box Messiah (album: Pandora's Piñata), The Age of Vulture Culture, Superhero Jagganath, and Jigsaw Hustle (album: Pacifisticuffs) are also good songs

Blind Guardian (from Germany)-- they have some symphonic metal vibes, some thrash metal vibes, but overall they're power metal and progressive metal, I'd say. I personally don't much like thrash metal, so there are a good chunk of their songs that I'm not much into. But. When they're good, they're good. And they have a whole album based on Middle-Earth! (album: Nightfall in Middle-Earth). Even if you aren't a big fan of Tolkien, Nightfall, Blood Tears, and Mirror Mirror are some great songs.

As I'm not a fan of thrash metal, I tend to stay away from their older stuff. Curse My Name and The Wheel of Time (album: At the Edge of Time) are probably the oldest of their songs that I like (outside of the Nightfall in Middle-Earth album). The Ninth Wave (album: Beyond the Red Mirror) is quite possibly their greatest song of all. Dark Cloud's Rising, Point of No Return, and Beyond the Wall (album: Legacy of the Dark Lands) can't be forgotten, either. They're actually more orchestral songs; beyond the point of symphonic, they went straight to orchestral. So if you dig that, you'll love those last three songs

Ostura (from Lebanon)-- could be considered more power metal than progressive metal, but honestly, they're so good and so unheard of that I'm adding them because I want them to be able to release another album. They have both male and female vocalists, and since they only have one album, I'm not gonna single out specific songs. Just listen to their album lol it's only an hour

Seven Spires (from America)-- more of a symphonic metal, but I consider that a branch-off of progressive metal. Not many bands can boast a female singer who nails the rough vocals, but Adrienne Cowan can scream and growl as the song needs her to. Their entire first album, Solveig, is fantastic, as are Every Crest, Unmapped Darkness, Succumb, Silvery Moon, Bury You (album: Emerald Seas), Gods of Debauchery, Ghost of Yesterday, Oceans of Time, and Fall With Me (album: Gods of Debauchery)

Soen (from Sweden)-- I'm not super familiar with the band Tool, but that's who I'm told Soen sounds most like. Tool with audible vocals lol Fraccions, Delenda, Last Light, Canvas (album: Cognitive), Monarch, Antagonist, and Modesty (album: Imperial) are their best songs by far

Evergrey (from Sweden)-- the best I know of at setting the atmosphere for their songs with just the first few notes. It's kind of ridiculous. Another band where I prefer their more recent albums-- their most recent is my favorite of them all-- yet there are some songs strewn throughout their older stuff that just can't be left out. Namely: Words Mean Nothing (album: Solitude, Dominance, Tragedy), A Touch of Blessing, More Than Ever (album: The Inner Circle), Wrong, Free (album: Glorious Collision), King of Errors, and Hymns for the Broken (album: Hymns for the Broken). Of their newer stuff, pretty much everything from their new album--A Heartless Portrait (The Orphéan Testament)--as well as Forever Outsider, Where August Mourns, and Eternal Nocturnal (album: Escape of the Phoenix), A Silent Arc, Weightless, End of Silence (album: The Atlantic), Distance, The Impossible, and My Allied Ocean (album: The Storm Within).

Yes, that's a big list of songs. They have a lot and they're unfortunately hit or miss a lot of the time :(

Borealis (from Canada)-- these guys. Okay. They're amazing. How are they not popular?? Their newest album (Illusions) was released only a few days ago and I've already listened to it a hundred times. There's not a weak song on it. The singer, Matt Marinelli, has such a majestic voice and they draw inspiration from other fantastic progressive bands (having cited Kamelot, Nightwish, Sonata Artica, Seventh Wonder, Avantasia, Symphony X, and Evergrey as a few) and they just nailed everything about this album. Before this album, they released The Offering, which is another 10/10 and it's just not right that no one knows this band. It's truly an injustice.

I recommend the entirety of Illusions and The Offering. The epics of each album, The Phantom Silence (Illusions) and Ghosts of Innocence (The Offering) are two of the greatest songs ever. Granted, that list is massive, but even if you don't listen to anything else by Borealis, listen to those two songs

Seventh Wonder (from Sweden)-- one of Borealis' inspirations! Their style is a mix of progressive metal and symphonic metal. Some of their stuff has been taken down from Spotify due to them having different labels, but (hopefully!) that will be fixed soon. As it stands, the two albums they still have up, Tiara and The Testament, are both super good all the way through, so I don't have to list specific songs. Just both albums. I will say to look up their album Mercy Falls and the song The Great Escape on Youtube and give them a listen. The Great Escape is on an album of the same name, so...actually, to avoid confusion, I'll link this one song

Kamelot (from America)-- not so much a progressive metal band as they are power metal and symphonic metal, but the lead singer of Seventh Wonder, Tommy Karevik, took over as Kamelot's lead singer. So somehow, Kamelot lost Roy Khan as their singer and managed to upgrade. Roy Khan is incredible and yet. Tommy Karevik is ??? even better?? idk too. It's like Mike Portnoy leaving Dream Theater as drummer only for them to find Mike Mangini

Another band with a lot of great songs, so recommending songs to not listen to would probably be a shorter list. I'm just going to say go to their Most Popular on Spotify and let it play. I'm trying to single out the best stuff from all the bands I'm listing, but Kamelot just has...so much

Nightwish (from Finland)-- you mentioned Marko Hietala and Nightwish, so I'm not gonna go super in-depth on this one, as I'm assuming you're at least somewhat familiar with them, but a progressive metal list isn't complete without them, so. Floor Jansen is quite possibly the best female vocalist there is in this day and age. Her range, her control, her versatility. It's just incredible.

Stargazers (album: Oceanborn), Over the Hills and Far Away, 10th Man Down (album: Over the Hills and Far Away), End of all Hope, Dead to the World (album: Century Child), Dark Chest of Wonders, Wish I Had an Angel, Nemo, Planet Hell, Ghost Love Score (album: Once), The Poet and the Pendulum, Bye Bye Beautiful, Amaranth, The Islander, their instrumental song Last of the Wilds, 7 Days to the Wolves (album: Dark Passion Play), Storytime, I Want My Tears Back, Scaretale, Turn Loose the Mermaids, The Crow the Owl and the Dove, Last Ride of the Day (album: Imaginaerum), Shudder Before the Beautiful, Élan, My Walden, The Greatest Show on Earth (album: Endless Forms Most Beautiful), Music, Noise, Shoemaker, Harvest, and How's the Heart? (album: Human :II: Nature).

I said I was gonna keep this one brief...whoops. Well, if you were, in fact, already familiar with Nightwish, now you know my favorites!

Caligula's Horse (from Australia)-- I really dig their style, which is like a contemporary progressive metal, so I wish I liked more of their songs. As is, the ones I do like, I like a lot. All from their two most recent albums. Slow Violence, Salt, Oceanrise, Valkyrie, Autumn (album: Rise Radiant), Dream the Dead, The Hands are the Hardest, and Songs for No One (album: In Contact)

Diablo Swing Orchestra (from Sweden)-- just one example of the variety to

Unleash the Archers (from Canada)-- they're kind of just metal, not super proggy, but they do have elements of it. The entirety of their album Apex is worth a listen, as are the songs Waking Dream, Abyss and Afterlife (album: Abyss). Their cover of Northwest Passage (not on an album) puts any other version of that song to shame, easily

Pyramaze (from Denmark)-- they're progressive metal with elements of symphonic metal and power metal added in. Honestly, I kind of forget that they released any albums before 2015. The songs Disciples of the Sun and Back for More (album: Disciples of the Sun) are my favorites of theirs outside of the album Epitaph, which, like Borealis' most recent two, is flawless. All of Epitaph. From beginning to end, it's a solid 10/10, and yet the last two songs, World Foregone and The Time Traveller, are somehow even better than all the rest

Oceans of Slumber (from America)-- they're melodic progressive metal with darker tones like death metal. Some of their songs straight-up sound like gothic dirges. They're fantastic. They've been compared to Opeth, a band I've never really gotten into. Definitely look up The Decay of Disregard, The Banished Heart, No Color No Light (album: The Banished Heart), A Return to the Earth Below, To the Sea (A Tolling of the Bells), their cover of Wolf Moon (album: Oceans of Slumber), The Waters Rising, The Lighthouse, and their cover of House of the Rising Sun (album: Starlight and Ash)

Haken (from the U.K.)-- they have such a distinct version of progressive metal, it's very hard to describe. There's a weirdness to it that works just right. Whenever I'm in a Haken mood, I always know it. Not much else can scratch that particular itch. Invasion, Carousel, The Strain, Canary Yellow (album: Virus), The Good Doctor, Puzzle Box (album: Vector), and Cockroach King (album: The Mountain) are their best songs by far

Thank You Scientist (from America)-- when progressive metal meets jazz, you get Thank You Scientist. Also, their lead singer, Salvatore Marrano kinda sounds like Michael Jackson at times. It's weird, but it works so well. A Salesman's Guide to Non-Existence, Feed the Horses, My Famed Disappearing Act (album: Maps of Non-Existent Places), Mr. Invisible (album: Stranger Heads Prevail), FXMLDR, and Life of Vermin (album: Terraformer) are their best songs

Shaman's Harvest (from America)-- not really considered progressive metal, but since "progressive" essentially just means "different" in this context, as it's the evolution of metal, I'm including Shaman's Harvest. They are, in lead singer Nathan Hunt's own words, really fuckin' heavy blues. Their albums Shine, Smokin' Hearts and Broken Guns, and Rebelator are solid all the way through. Sequoia (March of the Bastards), Red Hands Black Deeds (Prelude), Soul Crusher, So Long, and Tusk and Bone (album: Red Hands Black Deeds) are all really good. I generally avoid their album Synergy tbh

Avantasia (from Germany)-- technically, it's called Tobias Sammet's Avantasia, but that's just cuz he has such an ego lmao I love him tho he's so energetic. Avantasia started out as a metal opera, with the first two albums literally being called The Metal Opera and The Metal Opera Part 2, although they're more of a symphonic power metal. The opera part is from all the guest singers that he has for just about every single song he releases, and includes singers such as Hansi Kursch (Blind Guardian), Jørn Lande (Masterplan), Marko Hietala (Nightwish), Tim Owens (Judas Priest; formerly, Iced Earth), Roy Khan (Kamelot; formerly), Alice Cooper (Alice Cooper), Sharon den Adel (Within Temptation), and for the upcoming album, Floor Jansen (Nightwish)!

Avantasia has a lot of music. Most of it's great, some of it isn't. The absolute best of the best songs of all (to try and keep this list short) would be Ghost in the Moon, The Raven Child (album: Moonglow), The Scarecrow (album: The Scarecrow), Let the Storm Descend Upon You, Lucifer (album: Ghostlights), Forever is a Long Time, Runaway Train (The Wicked Symphony), The Seven Angels (The Metal Opera Part 2), Farewell, Sign of the Cross, and The Tower (The Metal Opera) almost in that order!

Dream Theater (from America)-- easily one of the most well-known names in progressive metal. Every single member is absolutely outstanding. It's genuinely ridiculous how good these guys are. John Petrucci is the greatest guitarist on the planet; John Myung is the greatest bassist on the planet, Jordan Rudess is the greatest keyboardist (and keytarist!) on the planet, Mike Mangini is the greatest drummer on the planet (although some argue that title would go to their former drummer, Mike Portnoy), and James LaBrie would be the greatest singer on the planet if people like Einar Solberg (Leprous) and Tommy Karevik (Kamelot, Seventh Wonder) didn't exist.

These guys have been releasing albums regularly since the 80s, so they have a lot of music. Trying to get into progressive metal starting with Dream Theater can be problematic, as fans recommend their personal favorites, which are sublime songs, but not the most gentle introductions to this genre. The most accessible album of theirs would probably be their second most recent one, Distance Over Time. They just have so many time signature changes that it can scare away some people lol Distance Over Time is a little more newbie-friendly.

Some of my favorite songs of theirs are Metropolis Pt 1 (album: Images and Words), Space Dye Vest (album: Awake), A Change of Seasons (album: A Change of Seasons), Trial of Tears (album: Falling into Infinity), Blind Faith (Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence), Endless Sacrifice, In the Name of God (album: Train of Thought), I Walk Beside You, Panic Attack, Octavarium (album: Octavarium), In the Presence of Enemies Pt 1, Forsaken, The Dark Eternal Night, The Ministry of Lost Souls, In the Presence of Enemies Pt 2 (album: Systematic Chaos), A Nightmare to Remember, A Rite of Passage, Wither, The Count of Tuscany (album: Black Clouds and Silver Linings), Bridges in the Sky, Outcry (album: A Dramatic Turn of Events), Untethered Angel, Barstool Warrior, At Wit's End, Pale Blue Dot (Distance Over Time), The Alien, Answering the Call, and A View from the Top of the World (A View from the Top of the World).

Yeah. That's a lot, huh? I omitted two of their albums from that list. Some of their titles are pointlessly long, so I shortened them out of laziness.

Metropolis Pt 2: Scenes from a Memory and The Astonishing are both concept albums, and while I've included songs from concept albums for previous bands in this list without pointing out that they're concept albums, Dream Theater's list was just going to be so so long that I decided to give the concept albums their own paragraph. The Astonishing has only a very small handful of songs that I'd single out, so I'm gonna stick with just one, and that's because it sounds like Dream Theater wrote a Disney villain song. Three Days is the title, and it's great. James LaBrie sounds like he enjoyed himself a lot. For Scenes from a Memory, since it's a concept album (that means it tells a story through the songs and narration), it would make more sense to listen to all the songs in order, although I will say my favorites are Scenes 5 through 9; Through Her Eyes, Home, The Dance of Eternity, One Last Time, The Spirit Carries On, and Finally Free (there's more song titles than scenes because scene 7 was split into two parts. Dance of Eternity and One Last Time are both technically the same scene)

So. That's probably...a bit more than you bargained for, and I'm gonna have to go up and include a scene break so this answer doesn't take up pages and pages of anyone's dash, but I hope it gives you a place to start learning progressive metal! I'll be honest, I've probably forgotten some bands/artists. These are all just off the top of my head, as they're some of my most listened-to progressive metal bands

[droughtofapathy]

Great Comet Experience Part Two

I had to split this up because it’s stupidly long. We’re talking like 10k words. You’ll never find a more indepth description anywhere.

Letters:

·       Act two commences with another air siren. I love this song. And got so into it when listing to the recording.

·       Everyone enters the same door which is the only time this happens. Most of them are in their regular costumes. Hélène is back in her black based with green underskirts dress, Mary has on her shapeless frock again. But Marya (while having on the same blouse as usual, and similar patterned skirt has something different. The skirt is one of those that’s really more of a wrap and it’s completely open in the front. She’s got on these tight leather pants (same Marya shoes as always), and wow.

·       Okay so, the company takes their places sitting on the stairs, and facing the audience directly. So I made direct eye contact with Alex Gibson during one show for like a full thirty seconds. And at one point I like raised my eyebrow and he mimicked me and we both just spend a good time smirking at each other. I played it cool, but during another showing when I had eye contact with Grace McLean and she looked at me seductively I’m pretty sure I was close to swooning. Gods, I’m so gay.

·       I never got a letter though and I’m so sad. Because during one point, everyone in the company gives the audience letters, and apparently one of the ensemble members (Heath if I’m not mistaken) always writes a different, innuendo laden letter.

·       Pierre is so set on killing Napoleon. Dude chill.

·       Dolokhov looks so smug when he says he composed the love letter.

·       Also while the company is singing the whole “A love letter” they’re all seated and bopping along so well. Marya takes on a lot of Hélène’s manerisms I’ve noticed. She’s so seductive, and drapes herself across the stairs much like Hélène does. Also her (really long and very leather clad) legs are everywhere.

·       So when Natasha passes her letter off to Hélène to give to Anatole they both look so excited.

·       And the whole audience participation when the letter is passed down the line til the last person gets on stage to give it to Natasha is so cute. Hélène enthusiastically directs it down, and Natasha looks to excited to receive it. During one show, a man didn’t want to get onstage, so the girl in the next row, leapt up and practically flew up stage.

·       So, Mary’s letter to Natasha is so full of affection and love. Mary is so in love with Natasha, and in the books they’re like attached at the hip and kiss and hug each other and go out together. It’s so much better than the tense dislike from before.

·       Side note: while I love the Natasha/Mary pairing, I’m a huge fan of Sonya/Mary because not only is it a nod to Ghost Quartet (where Brittain Ashford and Gelsey Bell play lovers at one point and it’s so adorably dark) but also both these characters need love and affection and this is way better than what actually happens where Sonya is left alone forever.

·       So during the whole “say yes” bit, Anatole gets down on his knee, and asks Natasha like three times, and keeps pulling her closer by her waist (which like, creepy dude), and she looks so confused and conflicted, but in the end gives in.

Sonya & Natasha: (Side note: they really love their ampersands)

·       So Natasha is asleep on the stairs and Sonya enters and snatches the letter. Reading in horror.

·       Lemme just say, Sonya is so much more sassy live than the recording leads you to believe.

·       During the entire song, Sonya is just following Natasha around rolling her eyes, and looking so exasperated by everything Natasha says.

·       Other than what the song suggests, there really aren’t any other actions that you can’t figure out from the words. But Sonya just runs off at the end when Natasha yells at her.

·       So, this is the point Sonya stops looking exasperated and looks just so heartbroken. This is her best friend, and she’s just screamed that she hates her. This is the part you start crying.

Sonya Alone:

·       So wow Brittain Ashford fuck me up. The real and raw emotions are just so mesmerizing. This is the point I wish I was at the final performance because I know this would be the most emotional of them all.

·       She starts off conflicted about what to do. Like, does she let her best friend follow her heart, or does she help?

·       And as the song goes on she gets more and more sure of what she wants to do. Yes, it is on her, and no she will not let Natasha go to ruin. This is her family, her best friend. And Sonya is completely and utterly devoted to her. She’d give up everything to make sure Natasha doesn’t go to ruin.

·       I’ve got a friend like Sonya, and it makes things so much more heartbreaking.

Preparations:

·       Mood whiplash in three, two, one.

·       Anatole enters Pierre’s office circle with a carpet bag and Pierre is dead drunk. I saw Josh Groben such a long time ago, that I just remember Dave’s performance better, but Dave does drunk word slurring so well.

·       He hands Anatole fifty rubles, but Anatole reaches over and snatches the rest of the wad of cash like an ass. Really. Then he goes to the mirror and starts to do his shaving routine.

·       So Dolokhov launches into his patter verse. And it is a bop. When he says Natasha and Sonya’s names they are lit up by spotlights. Hélène enters and hands him a cup of tea before going to Anatole. She also laces up her “Abduction vest” thing.

·       During this song, Dolokhov grabs hold of Anatole and pins him against the railing to try to talk some sense into him. Then follows him around groaning, and glaring. While Anatole is doing his part of the song, Nick Choksi is off-mic screaming “no no no” in such a done voice.

Balaga:

·       So, Balaga begins and everyone bursts onto stage. There are egg shakers and I’ve now got two and I’m so happy. Everyone is dancing, audience included and it’s such a wonderful moment.

·       There’s so much twirling. And everything.

·       Hélène starts out playing the drum on the top layer. She plays so deadpan (imitation of her total girlfriend Marya D. anyone???) and her eyebrows are quirked up in such a haughty way. Then when the beat kicks up, she hands the sticks off to Marya.

·       And Marya is having the time of her life up there. She swings the sticks down on the drum, and waves around, kicking her legs up. It’s great.

·       So Balaga is pretty much everywhere during this. He goes from the main stage to the mezzanine, to the main stage again. And I don’t even know how he gets there so fast.

·       When he does his “and I never ask for rubles” the company roars their love for him, and when they sing “and we like balaga too” they all practically lurch to him. Marya flings her arm at him and points with her drum stick.

·       The whole “woah” parts everyone just gets into position for the real fun. And my favorite part is coming up soon. Also Anatole is doing his twirly routine.

The Abduction:

·       Everyone, (and sometimes they encourage the audience to sing this part too) does the “goodbye my g*psy lovers” part and the word is actually a slur, so I’m conflicted. Dave Malloy wrote a really long explanation for why he did this, and it’s logical, but like slurs. So I sometimes like to replace G*psy with either tipsy or pretty. Sometimes I get so into it I forget though.

·       Okay so everyone raises their glasses (audience members included) and at one point Grace McLean shouts to her section that “I don’t care if your drinking or you’re not. Raise em up!” and it’s the growl again. I’m hooked. Actually though.

·       When Anatole sings goodbye to Matryosha it’s Katrina who passes by with her accordion. We all sway and shake our shakers. It’s the best.

·       Then the chaos begins. And you’ve got to see it to believe it. I notice something new every time. (Though I admit I miss most of it because I’m staring at Marya and Hélène, but can you blame a baby dyke?)

·       Everyone is screaming and dancing all over the place, there’s some organized dancing, like the circle line. Nick Choksi shoves his guitar at an audience member at one point and screams to hold it because “I gotta go dance” and they do the circle thing. I really love that because the joy of everyone is so visible.

·       Then the music gets deliberate, and Alex Gibson and another male ensemble member in the mezzanine have this dance off and they mirror each other and it’s awesome.

·       Then comes the real chaos. The music becomes jerky, and everyone just goes wild. Mary is up in the mezzanine flailing about looking so overjoyed. Sonya is backed into a corner by Pearl Rhein with her bow string as a weapon. Heath Saunders just rips his hair out of its bun and starts swinging it wildly. Pages of War and Peace rain down from the mezzanine. There’s a fist fight between Andrey and an ensemble member (Azudi Onyejekwe).

·       And of course, my favorite moment. The kiss between Marya D. and Hélène. While everyone else is running about chaotically, they just jump each other. It’s basically a contest to see who can smear their lipstick on the other’s face more. During it, Hélène hoists Marya’s leg around her hip (holy shit she’s got such long legs) and they just rut against each other. Hands are groping everywhere it’s the best And during the second to last show (the last one I saw) they were so into the kissing and grinding that they could find a balance, and they couldn’t get Marya’s leg up long enough.

·       Apparently this part of the chaos was entirely Grace and Amber’s idea and they wouldn’t take no for an answer, so I formally thank them for their existence.

·       Then, the end of the chaos comes and everyone just collapses where they stand. Ashley Perez Flanagan is seated on an audience member’s lap, Mary is down for the count. Lauren Zakrin is splayed out on the floor. And Marya and Hélène just cling to each other with lipstick everywhere. Even the orchestra just collapses back into their chairs.

·       During this point, everyone’s panting and dying, and Dave Malloy has to gasp every time before he launches into his “here’s to happiness freedom and life” part. And at that point everyone launches back up with astounding energy. There’s even more dancing and skirt flinging, and really there’s no reason for Marya and Hélène to be so into each other if they’re not actually dating so Marya/Hélène is real fite me!

·       Then balaga is like “let’s get out of here” and they all dash up the steps towards the big doors. At this point, Gelsey, Brittain, and Marya slip out to costume change. And the whole wait sit down bit is so necessary. During the shut the doors part, Balaga is off-mic saying “doors what doors? Oh wow, those are big doors” and it’s so funny.

·       Sitting in banquette seating you can see every cast member. Everyone is panting heavily and look like they’re gonna pass out. Sweat is just everywhere. And it would be gross, but it’s just so impressive. Lucas Steele sits down next to an audience member and slings his arm around them.

·       Then they’re just about to get up and go when Dolokhov is all like wait a fucking minute here. And Balaga groans and is all like what now?

·       But the fur cloak routine is fantastic. So Pearl is wrapped up in it, and I only noticed in the last show I saw that the cloak also has like a gauzy salmon colored part of it in addition to just the fur. But during this part, Dolokhov steals her bow and she plays the fiddle with her fingers, while he plays her. There’s that fiddle symbol thing painted on her stomach, and its such a great detail. She delivers the cloak to Anatole who kisses her (c’mon man not the time!)

·       Then they finally head out. Everyone is so excited and ready. Anatole dashes up the stairs towards the big doors (I got hit by the flapping coat), the maidservant (Gelsey Bell you beast) does this amazing Operaesque line. And the doors open, there’s red colored smoke and everything.

·       But it’s not Natasha. It’s Marya D. and shit’s about to get real. She just glares at Anatole and the audience goes crazy. If looks could kill…

·       So sometimes she starts out with restrained anger during the “you will not enter…” and the growl comes out during “my house, scoundrel” but the last time I saw it she just scream/growls the entire thing and either way I am very turned on and very afraid at the same time.

·       Anatole sprints away with a look of terror on his face, and really that’s the only sensible thing he’s ever done.

In My House:

·       Okay so while the Prologue is my favorite song, this is the best one.

·       So Marya starts off restrained. Scoffing, and smirking with disbelief and rage. When she calls Natasha a hussy, Natasha looks shocked, and Sonya reaches for her from across stage.

·       Then she sings “now you listen to me when I speak to you,” twice the first time is calm, and then she fucking screams it and terrifies everyone.

·       During the line “do you hear what I’m saying or not” she holds out the last word so much longer live and the t ending is so sharp.

·       Sonya just sounds horrified and devastated. Like she wants nothing more than to hug Natasha and never let go.

·       Grace McLean deserves a fucking tony like jesus Christ.

·       Everything is very pantomime, but at one point when Marya calls Anatole a scoundrel and a rat she grabs Natasha’s chin and Natasha shoves her arm away. Marya stares at her arm in shock, before turning away scoffing like a mother when her kid does something really wrong. Like “oh you think you’re going to act like this, think again bitch”

·       But then Natasha screams that they all hate and despise her, and Marya looks so horrified and hurt. She knows she fucked up with how angry she was, and runs over to her. She has to rein in all this anger and shock because it’s definitely not what Natasha needs.

·       She screams “Natasha” with such desperation that my heart just snapped. She tells us what she does to comfort her goddaughter and looks just so horrified and heartbroken.

·       While Natasha sings what she does, Marya is sitting among the tables writing her letter to Pierre. She sends it off with a grandiose gesture.

A Call to Pierre:

·       The servant wakes Pierre from his drunken stupor and Dave Malloy really plays a great drunk.

·       He heads off to the Dimetrievna household, and Marya starts off restrained but quickly grows desperate. She pleaded with him and explains, with such urgency that I felt my anxiety welling up. And all that rage that she tempered down comes back with a vengeance.

·       Holy shit, so this role is usually a very low voice part, with a lot of that glorious growling. But this song has full on high belting and Grace McLean slays it every time. When she screams “Anatole Kuragin” you know that man is a dead man if Marya D. ever gets her hands on him.

·       And when Pierre reveals that Anatole is a married man (gasp! it’s mentioned earlier during the Duel but there’s so much going on that many people miss that moment), Marya is just blown away. During one performance she was like “I fucking knew something was up with this bastard” and during another she was shocked and horrified like “oh shit we are all so fucked”

·       And when she orders Pierre to find Anatole, wow. It’s basically the last thing Marya says, and Grace McLean never fails to go out with a bang.

Find Anatole:

·       The music turns urgent, and Pierre does more running around than he has ever done before. He goes to the club, and the ensemble are in the mezzanine and on the stairs just gossiping. When Pierre assures them nothing is wrong they all look so disappointed. These people love their gossip.

·       So Anatole enters the Bezukhov house stumbling in, and looking completely distraught. Hélène rushes to him, devastated.

·       Back at Marya’s house, Marya and Sonya break the news that Anatole is married, and the sheer pain, and anguish on Natasha’s face could make anyone sob. Her denial that he just can’t be married is the moment she realizes the true gravity of the situation.

·       Pierre returns home to find Anatole (and really he could have avoided all the running, if he just went home).

·       He yells at Hélène and tells her how repulsed he is by her. And holy shit. Okay so let’s dissect this for a minute. Before Hélène mostly spoke and looked at Pierre with a mocking or dismissive tone, but here she looks absolutely terrified of him. When he comes closer, she shrinks back against Anatole. I could see her visibly trembling. She rushes down the stairs and throws herself over one of the banquette booths.

·       When Pierre crosses her to get to Anatole she physically recoils and lifts her hand to shield herself from her husband. And maybe this is just a reaction to the visceral rage Pierre gives off, but you can’t tell me Pierre hasn’t or won’t in the future raise his hand to her. She just looks so terrified, and no one ever seems to notice this. And I just want to take her away from that home right now because she’s not safe. She’s not safe at all.

Pierre & Anatole:

·       So this is the big fight scene.

·       Pierre starts out like Marya. Restrained. But as Anatole gets more and more cocky, Pierre just grabs him and it’s truly glorious.

·       Anatole is practically shaking. But quickly recovers when Pierre realizes he’s gone too far. Side note: why the fuck can Pierre back down to Anatole and forgive him when he can’t even do that with his own wife, who is totally way less at fault here. Fucking misogyny that’s what it is.

·       So when he is all like “amuse yourself with women like my wife” Helene bolts up from where’s she’s been hunched over on the floor. The look she gives him, part terror, part rage, part disbelief like “how dare you say me or any other woman should have to go through this?” Hélène deserves better. Someone bring her to Marya’s house so they can kiss and make up.

·       During this, Natasha crosses to the middle of the stage with a glass of water. She holds it above her head and pours the arsenic into the cup. It’s such a devastating moment. And if you don’t know what’s going to happen you think she’s actually going to die. First she hunches over retching. Then after several beats, she shrieks in horror when she realizes what she’s just done. Somewhere in this, both Marya and Sonya spring up from where they’ve been waiting. Sonya looks devastated and disbelieving and as she runs after Natasha, she’s off-mic just saying no no no over and over. And Marya? Oh gods. Marya looks like she’s going to start sobbing. When she jumps up, she reaches out to Natasha desperately. Just her facial expression. Grace McLean Fuck me up.

·       Anatole takes off to Petersburg and the note he hits at the end. It’s truly a fascinating moment.

·       Hélène stares at him leaving and her heart is just shattered. She turns to Pierre as though pleading, but he just gives her this horrible glare, and she turns to lean over the banister, clinging to it to stay upright. Someone give this woman a tony for fuck’s sake.

Natasha Very Ill:

·       The song begins with sirens. Sonya crosses Marya’s path and for the first time there’s a moment of true affection between them. They’re united in their love for Natasha. Sonya looks at Marya with such devastation, and Marya reaches out to comfort her and assure her as best she can, but it’s not very effective when Marya looks as lost as she does.

·       Pierre enters the house, and leads Marya into a chair. Marya knows what to do, she always knows what to do, but now she just looks so small and helpless. There are tears pouring down her face, and just wow.

·       On the opposite side Hélène is seated. Hunched over and looking horrified and devastated over Natasha. I think Hélène, even if she wanted to shake things up, genuinely cares for Natasha (after all she is the goddaughter of her girlfriend).

·       When Sonya sings that Andrey is to return, the doors open, and the bright light once again illuminates the person coming out. When this happens, the entire cast shields their eyes, looking at him with such a variety of emotions. Marya is anxiously waiting for the axe to come, Hélène looks terrified, Sonya dreads everything. Only Pierre looks somewhat happy to see his best friend, even if it’s heaving mixed with sadness.

Pierre & Andrey:

·       So both Nicholas and Blaine deliver the “there’s a war going on” line differently. Nicholas says it with sorrow and exhaustion. Blaine says it angrily like “do you all know what’s happening? And I have to come back for this?”

·       He slaps the letters into Pierre’s hand.

·       So I’ve got some thoughts about the whole “but I didn’t say I could forgive” because on one hand if Andrey had asked Natasha to marry him again, they’d never be able to move past this. It would always be a sore spot in their life, and it probably would be a terrible marriage. But on the other hand, you fucking hypocrite. I understand where you’re coming from, but c’mon.

·       But the clincher is when Andrey returns home. It’s this exchange between him and his sister that condemns him forever for me. Mary is waiting for her brother in her father’s chair. And when she sees him she knows things are bad, but she’s just so happy to see her brother home from war and alive. She rushes to embrace him but he just shoves past her and slumps into his father’s chair. Mary’s face though. Frightened just like she was with her father, and you just know she knows the cycle is going to start up again. Because he is her father’s son. She’s completely defeated, and slumps back onto the floor at the foot of the chair. And you can’t help but wonder if she’s thinking it’s all her fault. Because that’s the kind of person Mary is… and if she had just been nicer, if she hadn’t driven Natasha away that first time…

Pierre & Natasha:

·       Natasha comes out in this shapeless shift, and I was just struck by how thin and helpless she looked.

·       This whole exchange between them is heartbreaking. Like when Pierre asks her if she loved that bad man, Natasha raises her voice telling him not to call Anatole bad. And people have said this before, but she’s just thinking that if he’s a bad man, what does that make her to fall for him?

·       When Natasha doubles over and starts to sob, your entire person feels her pain. In the last performance I saw, she sobbed even louder than I’d heard before. Because the show was ending tomorrow, and emotions were high. And I’m still not okay after that.

·       And when Pierre does his spoken line, the entire theater is dead quiet. No music, no nothing. (Side note: during my last show, the woman next to me – who kept snottily telling me that they’d take my phone away if I was using it or recording (and I wasn’t thank you very much) – her phone vibrated at this exact moment, and I can’t tell you how satisfied I was with that. I only regret that she didn’t see the amazing side eye I was giving her. And then during the next song she starts trying to make a call. Like fucks sake!!!)

The Great Comet of 1812:

·       So during this song I couldn’t help but think Dave Malloy looked a bit maniacal. His shoulders were hunched, and he had his head tilted into one of them. And he had this stupid little grin on his face. All in all, so Pierre.

·       Natasha is the comet, pass it on.

·       When the entire cast joins him, it crescendos into this beautiful, and devastating melody.

·       I was watching Grace (no surprise there) and she was physically struggling to hold it together. She kept wiping her nose and dabbing at her eyes with the handkerchief. And when the song ended she had to pull herself up and together to finish the bows. I know I’d be a sobbing mess, so she’s just that good!

Bows:

·       So the non-instrument playing ensemble comes to the circle around Pierre’s office, and they all take turns with their bows. Then the instrument people come and circle around. The fiddles get their spotlight, and the clarinet, and the accordions. The opera dancers get a spotlight too.

·       Then, almost in reverse order from the Prologue intros, the main cast comes out. First Balaga dances around. Mary and Andrey/Bolkonsky do their thing. Everyone is still in character because Mary is so sweet, and thankful, and when the actor for Andrey/Bolkonsky switches between roles, he turns puts on the glasses and shakes.

·       Dolokhov does this fantastic air guitar motion, and everyone cheers.

·       Then the music changes to something so joyful and upbeat with this rockesque feel. Hélène saunters around (and I forgot to mention her costume from Find Anatole to now is just this super extra dressing down, a corset, her stockings, and undergarments. It’s really something. I want one). During this Marya is just like, “ugh please” but it’s with this exasperated affection (for her girlfriend!)

·       The music changes again and Marya spins around bowing. I just really love Grace McLean.

·       She then hands it off to Sonya. And then we go to Anatole and yeah he always gets a cheer. Like Lucas Steele totally deserves it, and probably that tony as well. But like Anatole, what a fuckboy.

·       Then from the big doors, Natasha and Pierre emerge. There’s a shitton of cheering, and once they’ve acknowledged the orchestra (who all have their own costumes too!) it’s ended.

·       And we must say goodbye to our lovers once last time.

 Final Thoughts:

·       Dave Malloy is a genius who deserves better. The whole cast deserves better honestly, but they’re going on to great things.

·       Ghost Quartet is going to be coming to off-broadway for a month, and I want to go so badly.

·       Gelsey Bell isn’t real. She’s some otherworldly being with a voice of an angel.

·       Brittain Ashford is so pure, and good.

·       Denee Benton captures Natasha so well, and I’ve never seen such beauty.

·       Amber Gray? More like Amber Gay, amirite? Seriously though, I could listen to this woman all day long. Her voice could melt glaciers. And Hadestown better bring back Amber Gray because I need to hear her sing those songs.

·       If I could write an entire thing on how much I adore Grace McLean we’d be here for the rest of time. So I’ll just say that we don’t deserve this woman in our lives. She is amazing and talented, and beautiful, and is both life and wife goals.

·       But that, is all I am permitted to say.

[dreamscript]

HEY IT ME AGAIN-- LITERALLY SAME I GOT SICK AND LIKE IM STILL COUGHING AND I WANT IT TO STOP. LIKE. RIGHT. NOW. I hope you feel better soon! I can only imagine how bad you're suffering! Make sure to get lots of rest and binge watch Naruto hehehehe// I got sick around Christmas so it's kinda just here// But yeah lol just excuse me late responses (; 7 ; ) and yas girl just embrace you're inner otaku its okay xD (i wanna re-read Naruto actually//) OMG YES PLZ I LOVE YOUR FICS AND-

{CONT} YO HOW DARE YOU WRITE THAT JUNGKOOK FIC IM SHOOKED JKSDFNKJD// LMAO IF THAT AINT ME IN ANY MATH CLASS FUKFFKFKKFKF BUT ITS OKAY YOU CAN DO IT I BELIEVE IN YOU! There was freezing rain here a day or so ago. That was fun . u . (sobs) IF YOU COULD TWEEK MY BLOG OMG ID LOVE THAT. But the theme isn’t originally mine and I’d assume the original owner wouldn’t want the original code changed?

{CONT} IDK I wanted to change my theme for a while now // Something not endless scroll but just boxes for previews? Also I wanted a minimalistic theme based with pastel colours and black and white hehe/ ANYWAY NO NO WORRIES SOMETIMES IM JUST HERE WONDERING IF YOONGI SUED BIGHIT FOR DYING HIS HAIR TOO FREQUENTLY AND NOW HE BALD (LOL) BUT YEAH APPARENTLY THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO HAVE A COMEBACK IN FEBRUARY AND MY WALLET IS UPSET. I ALSO WANT THE NEW ARMY STICK FOR NO GOOD REASON AT ALL LOL

{CONT 3 xD} I’ve only read Naruto Manga so if you wanna screech with me about that lets do it ahaha/ HECK YES I WILL READ THEIR FIC- I WILL NOT STUDY JAHAJSDSDKJF Shout out to Cat and Fae too like i seriously love their fics- your Christmas series had me shooked!! Anyways I have so much work to do and so i will bother you later :) - Sakura !

IM HEALED AND BETTER NOW THANK YOU I HOPE YOU’RE FINE NOW TOO??!?! but i remember my doctor telling me once that if you’re still coughing like a month later you should get it checked out or something D:

and oh. my. god.

naruto.

LISTEN I LITERALLY CRY EVERYTIME IT MAKES ME SO EMO. I WATCHED NARUTO THE ROAD TO NINJA MOVIE LIKE TWO NIGHTS AGO AND I CRIED LIKE A BABY WATCHING HIM INTERACT WITH HIS PARENTS AND ALL LIKE D’:: highkey still hated on sasuke though

but yeah no it’s okay! i have super late responses as of late…. and it’s really only because i’ve been too emotionally spent by the end of the day or tired or busy or just “not feeling it”

idk, but i hope to get back into being more active. i miss this place. i miss interacting with others, as little of it i seem to be doing right now (guh _ _)

LOL I HAVE SO MANY SEX SCENES ALREADY PREWRITTEN OUT FOR HTE JUNGKOOK FIC AND SO NOW THAT I’VE GOT THE HARDEST PARTS DONE, IT’S JUST DOWN TO FILLING IN THE PLOT AND SUCH. aaaand that’s kinda hard too, but i think i’ll manage. hopefully.

(help)

dude it was rainy and windy and cold today and i had to go outside and the entire time i was walking/running/dying to class i was thinking a) why b) this was a Mistake

ah well in regards to your theme, usually the theme makers are okay with minor changes (sometimes major ones too) as long as you keep the credit and the changes are for personal use (as opposed to commercial use/redistribution, etc). just to be sure, you can just check their rules. they usually have that whole page/pop up or will simply include it in their theme code.

hmm what do you mean by boxes for previews? i don’t think i’ve ever seen such as thing. it sounds interesting, though. are they previews for like posts or…?

YEAH OMG I’M REALLY EXCITED BECAUSE FEBRUARY IS BOTH MINE AND ALSO @taesthetes​‘ BIRTHDAY MONTH SO ITS LIKE A BIRTHDAY PRESENT WOOHOO

thank you for loving our collaboration! i’m still amazed on how quickly we got things put together and everything… honestly… cat and @zephyoongist​ are so talented i don’t know what i’m doing here :’) (or where i would be without them)

and now finally…

(for the maaaain event)…

okaY OKAY I WILL SCREECH WITH YOU ABOUT NARUTO. RIGHT HERE. RIGHT NOW. just under the cut because spoilers:

I’M SUCH AN EMOTIONAL WRECK OVER NARUTO THE ONLY BEST WAY I CAN TRULY EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AT THE MOMENT IS JUST THROUGH BULLET POINTS SO:

i love kakashi

i also love gaara. i can’t choose between the two, but lately i’ve been more biased towards kakashi. i blame it on my sister because she’s always had a thing for him

(i still love you gaara its okay my sand child)

kakashi’s backstory had me in tears… like… with obito died and he’s telling kakashi he’ll give him his sharingan (the sharingan that he’d always been talking about that would get him to hokage) to be his eye to see the future…

i just..

fucking broke down man like dude… stop… you’re killing me here… and then how kakashi really changes afterwards

(okay but listen child kakashi was savage as fuck though and it was hilarious)

(also i know it’s a filler but that one episode in which it showed guy and kakashi comparing dick sizes as kids….,,..,.

….,,..i wasn’t expecting that at all but i don’t mind the info heheheheh heh /dies)

OKAY BUT THEN RIN DIES WHY

literally if she hadn’t died a lot of the issues in naruto wouldn’t have occurred but they fucking did

no i’m not blaming her she died for a noble reason okay it just makes me really sad i’m sorry

AND FINALLY MINATO DIES TOO AND KAKASHI IS THE LAST OF HIS TEAM IM EMO

on a side note minato and kushina were cute as fuck

ANYWAYS GAARA OH MY OH MY GOD MY POOR BABY as a kid he was so cute and just wanted some friends and was out helping all those villagers and such but then his damned dad just had to go and screw those things up like STOP IT HE;S MY CHILD

even though i love those two, my favorites are actually the akatsuki

like. they hate each other but istg they secretly love each other like have you seen kakuzu and hidan’s interactions??? they tease and insult and threaten (and have killed) each other but kakuzu is actually patient with hidan’s rituals and such, and hidan will still accompany kakuzu to the collection centers

also, when he sees asuma’s guardian shinobi thing the first thing that comes to mind is kakuzu and how he’d want him for the money and he’s like u gh but like !!!

and AND when hidan at first thinks he’s accidentally killed kakuzu in his fight with shikamaru & co., he has that look of panic ooooh my god I JUST GASHUDFJSDIJASD

also hidan is just hilarious. like when they go to recruit him he’s like “who are you guys, all wearing the same clothes?? are you guys an orchestra or band or something?”

/points at kakuzu/ bet you play the bass

/points at konan/ bet the girl does vocals and keyboards

/points at itachi/ …or do you do vocals…?

and then the first thing hidan and kakuzu do to each other is kill each other

the look of utter disbelief on both of their faces

“what the–why aren’t you dead?”

“bitch that hurt–wait. why aren’t you dead?”

but anyways we can’t forget about itachi and kisame either, now can we?? like. they are actually like the only partner group that openly got along with each other, and they were sad oh my god they were sad upon realizing each other’s death’s

and idk just the way kisame says “itachi-san” does something to me

 i t a c h i

oh boy i have so much to say about this kid

but before i move on i must! address! the others!!

okay so like deidara is actually op as fuck and sometimes idk i feel like he doesnt get enough credit?? idk.

BUT LIKE LISTEN OKAY HE GOES THREE DAYS AND THREE NIGHTS TO SEAL THE ICHIBI AKA SHUKAKU AKA GAARA’S TAILED BEAST and then immediately after decides to take on naruto (and kakashi)

AND HE ONLY HAD ONE ARM AT THE TIME HAVING JUST LOST ONE IN HIS FIGHT WITH GAARA LIKE WHAT IS THIS STAMINA AND HOW DOES HE NOT BLEED OUT THIS KID IS FUCKING AMAZING WHAT THE HELL

and he’s 19 like lol what bye

but anyways, after his “fight” he loses his other arm because kakashi and now he’s armless BUT THIS KID STILL HOLDS HIS OWN though completely on the defense AGAINST TEAM GAI LIKE WHAT THE FUCK HE’S AMAZING and then he manages to create a bomb without using any sort of handseals and fools them all into thinking he’s dead

like

i love this boy give him a metal why did he have to die so early why (yet another reason why i dislike sasuke lmfao)

black zetsu scares the fuck out of me (esp when i learned of his true past and intentions) but white zetsu!! he’s such a sweetie holy shit

I JUST REALLY LIKED THAT TIME WHEN HE BURSTS INTO THE 5 KAGE SUMMIT AND HE’S LIKE “HALLLLOOO!!!!!!” WITH THE ARMS AND EVERYTHING DAW OMG

and also unlike so many others he actually likes everyone and when he saves deidara he’s like “you’re a fun guy to be around” and then and then later when he’s talking to tobi he reveals that he’s sad that so many of the akatsuki members died like D::

let’s not forget when black zetsu called him weak (they had split in two at the time) and white zetsu just kind of D: and wilts a little like ooHH NO oo baby it’s okay it’s okay

ahem

konan is so strong… holy crap… like… her ultimate attack? with the bajillion paper explosive tags disguised as a lake?? that go off for 10 minutes? holy fuck.

yahiko’s pretty damn hot if you ask me (yes i know he’s a cadaver in the main time period but listen)

idk my favorite arc of the entire thing was pain’s invasion of konoha… like from the moment jiraiya’s message arrived to when everyone got revived…. and then kakashi almost became hokage…

it was fantastic

i think it’s mainly because it was a mystery, race against time, battle thing all in one and it was so neat i guess

also you could see everyone in the village working together, fighting their hardest, showing their potentials for like, the first time ever

um um um okay sasori mentally scarred me as a child, and now whenever i hear the rattling puppet noises i immediately think of these scary nightmares i had after watching his fight with sakura… yeah, puppets scare me a lot now

orochimaru is a creep ‘nuff said moving on

tobi! i love this alternate ego of obito/”madara” like idk he’s so jumpy and honestly it’s fucking hilarious watching him because he’s so secretly op certain people underestimate him at first (and then others overestimate him because of his association with akatsuki)

like. when he was warding off konoha from itachi vs sasuke’s fight (which i am still emo about) he was just like playing whack-a-mole with them and then he’s like lemme use this ability! frill-necked lizard!

and they all kinda stand and stare at him intensely execting something legit

but in reality that’s it. the extent of htat ability is just him hanging upside down with the cloack falling behind him to look like a frill-necked lizard

and it’s fucking hilarious

i also thought it was fucking adorable when he and deidara first confront sasuke

and the little bitch goes ahead and slices through him

literally through him

and HE MAKES THE MOST ADORABLE NOISE BEFORE FALLING FLAT ON HIS FACE GAH

but sasuke thinks that he actually killed him and sasuke’s all like “one down”

and deidara just kinda

ugh this kid

and tobi gets up and brushes himself off like wow that was rly fast!!! and sasuke just >:/

URM OKAY ENOUGH ABOUT THE AKATSUKI MEMBERS

sorry i thought i should make this clear but i lowkey highkey have this vendetta thing against sasuke like this little shit

i mean ofc i know the reason for his disillusionment really isn’t all his fault like @ itachi really?

like really when he goes back to konoha and sasuke tries to kill him… he goes and easily breaks his wrist

and he kinda just considers him for a moment like

…hm

how about i….. make his situation even worse…?

and then traps him in a genjutsu that forces him to relive their parents death for 24 hours like why the fuck this is literally all your fault

and also on a side note, fuck danzo. why the fuck did the 3rd not kill him when he was supposed to. why. all the wrong people lived for far too long.

anyways

but yeah no idk i just really don’t like sasuke after he defected and became a Vengeful Teen

AND ITACHI’S STORY MAKES ME CRY EVERY TIME HOLY SHIT IT MAKES ME SO SAD WHY DID THIS BOY HAVE TO SUFFER SO MUCH and then mess up his little brother’s psyche to the point in which he starts killing like everyone wtf

AHEM

another favorite moment arc of mine is the very beginning

like the first 15ish episodes

IRUKA SENSEI

he’s such a blessing. he’s literally one of those crucially important side characters and i appreciate him and i love him and it would’ve been nice to see more of him, but hey, that’s okay too.

(his part in the naruto road to ninja movie had me in tears. like at the end. fucking tears.)

like naruto and kakashi may be super close and stuff, but when he needs someone as a guardian, naruto turns to iruka and idk i feel that says a lot about their relationship and it makes me cry all the fucking time

um anyways yes i also love zabuza

he’s so strong and empowered

AND THAT WHOLE ARC MADE ME CRY A LOT TOO AND THE FACT THAT IT BECOMES SUCH AN IMPORTANT PART OF THE STORY MAKES ME SO FUCKING HAPPY

i have a lot more the say probably but it’s getting late and i need to take a shower and sleep and get up early in the morning to make food so i’ll just leave it at that

(i wrote a lot i know i’m sorry)

(hope i didn’t blow you away with any spoilers D:)