#i miss them in a way thats so hard to explain
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
mosquitinho · 1 year ago
Text
my cats arent here anymore!!!!!!! They really realy arent !!!! What the fuck!!!!!!!!
4 notes · View notes
icewindandboringhorror · 4 months ago
Text
Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)
Tumblr media
#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper#Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed#with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi#all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement#english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS#where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to#like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect#score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol#I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret#meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you#get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized#speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea#ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different#ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one#liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate#in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since#I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small#character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility#question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju#t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually#is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so#is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i#2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have#SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and#talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem#harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically#just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl#in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for#Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol
7 notes · View notes
lazaruspiss · 7 months ago
Text
not sure how i manage to be bad at making a self insert lmao, i always end up developing them into an entire OC in the end
3 notes · View notes
the-kipsabian · 1 year ago
Text
.
#feeling really weird in my body tonight so im going back to bed#idk just.. have had gender and identity issues today. its just. a lot#like being ngc and not out of the closet cause i dont wanna talk about it is so exhausting and im just. yeah#not to mention the whole aroace thing#just been thinking a lot today. idk. i know im not faking any of it but bringing it out to ppl is just. so much sometimes#i have two irl friends who know. one thats thankfully very careful about it around other friends cause he knows im not out yet#but its still exhausting. especially when the conversation goes on those rails while undermining specifically my identities#without these ppl knowing about it. and i dont wanna talk about it cause technically its irrelevant but like..#idk. im just afraid of being left alone. being called awkward and weird and faking it and that its just a phase and... yeah idk#idk where this is going im just complaining now. i would just like to exist as myself without having to explain shit#cause these are terms and things i would have to explain. oh whats an agender? then why do you still look feminine and not enby(???)#how do you know youre ace if youve never dated? or aro?? as if these things dont work the other way around#im just already tired of it but i feel like eventually i should break it out. these ppl are my friends. we have a trans person in this grou#and ppl understand him and his perspective. i guess part of that is the thing im afraid about tbh. that they think im following a trend#or an example. that i havent been dealing with this for at least like five or six years before they came out as enby and later trans to us#but.. idk. its just hard. these identities are so hit and miss with ppl and them understanding and being hurtful later on#aaaand now im crying. this is so stupid im going to bed good night#night is an absolute mess on main#(tho be clear tho ive known im ace for over half of my lifetime now. the five to six years was about being agender/enby. fyi)
2 notes · View notes
thebigqueer · 3 months ago
Note
Your breakup really really reminds me of my first (and only) wlw relationship/breakup everything you're saying hits home a lot. You will get through it but tbh it's so hard to heal and it still grinds my gears when I think about her and how we broke up. Idk if that helps but I understand what you're going though
YEAH MAN ITS TOUGH OUT HERE FR!!! its not my first queer relationship but like something about this is genuilnely the most world-shattering romantic experience ive had cuz we went into this soooo head over heels for each other like we were literally moving SO fast. and at the time i was like is it ok for us to even be moving this fast (probs tmi but we were literally making out shirtless by like 2nd time we even made out) (probs not a big deal to most people but i experienced a LOT of new things with her that id never experienced befoer & the fact that i was so WILLING to do it so fast was what surprised me the most) but then i was like okk whateverrr i really like how fast we're moving. and i was like 'damn if were moving this fast & if im feeling so good it has to end soon right like theres no way life is going to let me just be happy w this' and then i was like 'no elts not think about it' and then what do you know 5 months later she brekas up w me. and neither of us did anything wrong but it was so random??? like i dont understand how one moment shes telling me how excited she is to spend the entire semester with me and then literally 36 hours later tell me shes not feeling an emotional connection but wont even give us the chance to work it out. i know she also broke it off for personal reasons but its like... this was something we could have TRIED to work out you know!!! maybe it wouldnt have worked in the end but literally nothing felt off to me at all & if id known she was feeling this way i wouldve done my best to make things better. the entire breakup was so sudden and honestly im really not mad at her because i know how nerve-wracking it is to be in your first relationship. i think its just that im really dispapointed she gave up on us so easily you know??? didnt even give us a chance to figure it out
#sorry you didnt ask for a rant but man im not even going to lie the main reason i even rant about this on tumblr is cuz its so much easier#than talking to my friends#not cuz theyre not kind & underestanding and stuff. i mean just generally ive always been better at saying things by writing anonymously#like i never cry on my friends but this was the first time ive ever done that and even then#every time i tell someone i broke up with her i generally dont feel anything i feel like im just retelling a story#other than that one time i cried on my firend#like its just so much easier ranting on tumblr than telling my friends. also if eel really bad ranting to my friends#cuz i know they care abou tme but also like how much of 'i want her back' are they going to take yk??#every time i get tipsy i start complaining about how much i miss her and these past few weeknds my friends have heard an earful of tipsy me#like i jstu dont wnat to burden them like that#but yeah anyway. i feel you anon this shit is so hard#and i feel like the other thing is when its a hetero-presenting relationship friends find it easier to be like 'fuck him / her!!'#and obviously thats not always going to make the person feel better cuz EVERYONE is complex but in a way its nice feeling that support from#friends. but my dating experiences have always been queer and i feel so guilty any time someone says 'fuck them! youre out of their league'#because like the thing about queer dating is i feel so much more understood and it all feels so much more intimate#and when you cant even get a 'fuck them' from your friends it just feels so alienating in a way#idk how to explain it#obviuosly if the ex is a cheater then its valid to be 'fuck them' but in my case none of them have cheated & theyre both very copmlex peopl#weve all done probelmatic things to each other yk#i think its just like. how am i suposed to get over her when our relationship doesnt feel like it should have ended at all#like it was NOT our time!!! NOTHING felt off or wrong or anything!! i thought we were really happy!!#i think she broke it off in part because she was afraid of the moment things went wrong but man this hurts much worse#cuz at least if things started going wrong it would make SENSE to break it off. but BEFORE things go wrong? this pain just feels unnecessar#anyway heres to hoping my insta stories trying to look hot convince her that she messed up and she should totally date me again#and well live happily ever after for at least a few more months#anon tag#asks
0 notes
reidmania · 2 months ago
Text
cinema seven | s.reid
summary; spencer goes to see a movie in cinema with derek, when cinema seven breaks down, he offers to help the pretty — all too stressed manger (who he has been too nervous to ask out) fix the projectors.
warnings; guys this fic is actually just for me. cinema manger reader, fem reader, they lowkey break rules but we don’t talk about that, probably boy band haired reid and ooc spencer bc they flirt or banter idk, fluff!! So much fluff!!spencer has been pinning for a while
an; i am a cinema manger 😐 cinema seven is making me want to die because of the bloody projectors breaking constantly. this is probably soo ooc, and also like uncorrectly timed bc it based off how cinema’s are now, not how they were. Whoops. this has been in my drafts for weeks and i hate it.
Tumblr media
Dimly low lights lit the theatre room, couples, families and other guests filling the space of the soft red velvet chairs set aligned, finding their seats as the advertisement’s played over the big screen in front of them, the stairs lit with small red lights to ensure everyone knew where they were going, and to ensure nobody missed a step under the dim lit lights.
The room smelt strongly of sweet buttered popcorn, and whatever antiseptic spray had been used to wipe down the cupholders of the seats when being cleaned in between movie sessions, the smell sent a small wave of reassurance over Spencer.
Spencer had never been a massive fan of cinemas, he preferred watching his documentaries or show’s from his couch at home, curled up in blankets, in an area he knew was completely sanity, away from the public and in his own space. However, lately Derek had been inviting him to the cinema more and more after he agreed the first time.
He didn’t necessarily mind, and he knew why Derek had continued to invite him — which was the reason he didn’t mind so much. The first time they had come to the cinema apparently they had picked a bad time, since it was absolutely packed the minute they arrived.
Thats when Spencer had seen you, working on one of the till’s. He had been to the cinema before, but he had never seen you before. As they got closer and the queue shortened, he was able to read the small ‘manger’ badge that hug off the lanyard around your neck.
Explained why he hadn’t seen you at the front before.
His palms had grown clammy as the line grew shorter, whatever Derek had been talking about was completely lost on Spencer, his gaze was locked on your pretty face smiling at a young kid who — spencer assumed — was blabbering about something, hardly coherent over the noise of the people around, but you smiled and nodded none the less as you handed the parents boxes of popcorn.
That was the first time he went to the cinema’s with Derek. Derek had watched the boy stumble over his words as he spoke to you when you served them, cheeks flushing and his gaze never meeting yours for two long. You had laughed and told him to take his time as you wiped down the benches, listening intently. He had taken note of the way you juggled tasks all at once, making popcorn, serving, cleaning.
He had been three times since, the second time wasn’t with Derek, and he honestly didn’t really want to see a movie, he just wanted to see you, unfortunately you weren’t working and he was left seeing a movie he didn’t actually want to watch.
Derek teased the boy endlessly, about his cinema crush. Which was why him and Derek were here now. Again, a movie Spencer had no interest in, but it was busy enough that you would have to be working tills. That was enough to justify seeing a boring film to Spencer.
He had seen you, you had served them and when you smiled widely with recognition of their faces Spencer felt like he was about to pass out with how hard his head was beating. Now he was sitting in the cinema, next to Derek who was shovelling handfuls of popcorn into his mouth before the movie had actually even started.
It was only about five minutes into the actual film when the sound had dropped out.
It was another five minutes before people started talking, before someone had stood up to leave the cinema. Then another two minutes before a worker — not you, a different one, came in and looked over the screen before talking into a hand held radio.
People were growing frustrated, annoyed and restless in waiting. Fair enough, no one really wanted to see a film with no sound. However what made Spencer pinch his eyebrows together with a frown is when you did walk in, and there was someone else standing, obviously taking their frustration out on you.
Spencer looked at Derek, who looked at him at the same time, obviously noticing the interaction before the guy had returned to his seat in a frustrated huff. Then your voice rang out throughout the cinema as you stood to the side, Spencer watched from his seat as your hands toyed with the lanyard around your neck.
“Im really sorry about this guys— We’ve been having issues all day. Just give me a couple of minutes to try to fix the projector then I’ll put it back to before the sound went off, so you don’t miss anything.” You sounded stressed, clearly apologetic as you spoke. There were mumbling that went around the cinema. Spencer’s eyebrows furrowed as you ran your hand through your hair before turning to walk out.
Spencer— didn’t know what was going through his mind when he stood up and made his way down the stairs, ignoring the confused splutter from Derek. Spencer made his way out of the cinema, looking around at the foyer area, it didn’t take long to see you.
Standing there, you were talking to another customer, clearly stressed and in a rush but still respectful. He waited patiently before the customer thanked you and walked away. His feet worked quicker than his mind could when he walked up to you.
“Hi” he said gently. Your eyes lifted to his before you looked towards a doorway, you smiled softly. He stood in front of you, your hands continued to fidget, he noticed that, he noticed the way your cheeks were slightly flushed and a few baby hairs stuck to your forehead from sweat.
You wiped your cheek, “Hi- Cinema seven right? I promise I’m getting there — Im so sorry.” You apologised, his heart both warmed and ached for different reasons, one because you remembered what movie he had gone to see, and because you sounded so insanely overwhelmed. There was a slight shake in your tone, he noticed.
He nodded, “yeah- But uh- I just- What’s the issue?” He asked, he wanted to slap himself in the face for the way he stuttered over his words. He was embarrassing himself, and wasting your time and he knew he should probably just turn around and walk back to his seat but he couldn’t.
A sigh left your lips, “I honestly have no idea — all day the sound has just been going out, it works for a bit but it’s just — so annoying. I’ve tried restarting it like ten times — i can’t seen any obvious issue, I really am so sorry.” You continue to apologise, he hated that you were apologising for an issue that was out of your control, its not like you went and broke the projector.
“No- Its okay. I just — I could look at it — if you want? If thats okay? I just, uh.. know quite a bit about them..” He offered, because you looked so stressed and so overwhelmed and he just wanted to help in any way he possibly could. This was something he knew he could do, he was smart enough to figure it out.
You sighed and smiled gently at him, “Thats really nice and I would totally say yes — like i genuinely would but we can’t uh— have customers going up there.” You mumbled out, almost as if you were genuinely disappointed by the fact.
He nodded in understanding because it made sense, of course you couldn’t. Projectors weren’t cheap by any means and if you just let customers go up there then chances are they would all be broken within minutes.
“Im not- I work for the FBI, I-I can show you my badge.” He mumbled, hand already reaching out for his pocket to pull out his badge and flick it open. Now, Spencer didn’t use his job as a personal weapon often; however this was different. This was you, and you were oh so pretty.
He watched as your eyes trailed down his hands to his badge, reading over the information before your eyes flickered back up to his — you were considering it, he could basically see the mental debate you were having with yourself. He hoped you said yes, because if not then he had wasted an incredible amount of your time and was actually just stopping your from doing your job.
Then you huffed out a small breath of air, “You know what you’re doing?” You asked.
He nodded instantly, “If it helps I have an IQ of 187 and have three pHD’s?” He offered the information, not to impress but to provide some sort of comfort to the clear worry over your features.
Yours eyes met his and you just looked at him for a minute — trying to find any hint of dishonesty in his features, but when you didn’t you huffed out a small ‘okay.��� Before turning around, Spencer followed you.
His mind was spinning. If he thought he was flustered before now was something else. His skin felt so hot he wanted to dive into a pool of pure ice, despite knowing that it wouldn’t actually be nearly as enjoyable as it sounded right now.
“Please don’t make me regret this. And please— for the love of everything above, don’t break anything, i do not need to loose my job right now” you had mumbled as he followed you up the stairs after you unlocked the door. He smiled gently at your words and the trust you were putting in him, maybe it was naive and stupid if it was someone else who had bad intentions, but you took your chances with him.
Spencer steps up to the controls, eyeing the mess with a focused look, his fingers tracing over the switches and buttons like he’s reading a puzzle. “Wow,” he says after a beat. “This is… pretty old-school.”
You let out a short laugh, leaning against the doorway. “Yeah, tell me about it. I’m honestly surprised we haven’t had more breakdowns.”
He glances over at you, his expression softening. “You’ve been keeping this place running pretty well, considering.”
The compliment catches you off guard, and for a moment, you feel your face flush. You quickly shake it off and nod toward the panel. “So, you think you can fix it?”
Spencer nods confidently, already getting to work. He’s methodical as he checks the wires and makes adjustments, explaining the technicalities as he goes. You pretend to understand most of it, but really, you’re just watching him, impressed by how he seems to know exactly what to do.
After a few minutes of working in silence, he glances at you again. “You know,” he says with a small grin, “this isn’t the first time I’ve saved a situation with some quick rewiring.” He grows more comfortable under your gaze as time goes on, the nerves still fluttering through his body, he tries to keep his hands as steady as possible — because you were trusting him.
“Oh?” You raise an eyebrow, intrigued despite yourself.
“Yeah. One time, I had to disarm a bomb using only a circuit board and a pair of wire cutters.” He pauses, eyes sparkling with that same quiet confidence. “This is a little less stressful.”
You laugh, shaking your head. “I should hope so.”
The conversation continues like that—light, easy, playful. and the tension you’ve been feeling all evening starts to melt away. There’s something about his calm demeanor that puts you at ease, like you can trust him to handle things, not just here, but in general. It’s a strange feeling, but a good one.
Finally, he steps back from the panel, brushing his hands together. “That should do it.”
You blink, glancing at the screen where the sound has suddenly returned, loud and clear. “You fixed it?”
“Looks like it,” he says, his voice soft but full of satisfaction.
A wave of relief washes over you. You hadn’t realized just how tightly wound you’d been until now. You smile, unable to hold back your gratitude. “Thank you. Seriously, you have no idea how much this helps.”
Spencer shrugs, looking a little bashful. “It’s nothing, really.”
But it’s not nothing. You can feel that. He’s helped you out, more than just with the projector, and the gratitude in your chest grows warmer.
You glance at him, hesitating. He can see it in your gaze, your eyes are on his, a warm smile on your face. He has to stop his mind from drifting away.
“I don’t know how to thank you,” you say, your voice softer now, more personal. “Is there anything I can do— Free tickets, do you need more popcorn?— That doesn’t do it justice. If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, please let me know” You rambled and his heart fluttered.
There’s a pause, just long enough for you to wonder what he’s thinking. Then, he meets your eyes, his expression a mix of uncertainty and hope. “How about a date?”
The question hangs in the air, and your heart skips a beat.
It takes a moment to process what he’s asking, but when you do, you feel a smile tugging at your lips. “You’re asking me out?”
He nods, looking more nervous than you’ve ever seen him. “If you’re free. I’d really like to take you out sometime.”
You furrow your eyebrows slightly, hands coming back up to fumble with the lanyard on your neck — for maybe the hundredth time. You look over his face as id you don’t believe him for a moment before you let out a breathy laugh, and for a moment his heart dropped with the idea of rejection.
“Yeah- Yeah. I’d like that.” You said. And he felt like the wind had been knocked out of him.
Spencer liked the cinema’s a lot more now.
495 notes · View notes
kroosluvr · 8 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
aftermath
ERMMM this takes place after long winter au third semester.... it could honestly vary but i think sometime btwn 5-10 yrs. sumire is abroad, akira moved back to tokyo after finishing hs/college, goro is. around
SORRY ITS 5am again so ill make this quick . again
QUICK DISCLAIMER this is kinda like a lot of me projecting LMFAOSDOGKJSDHFK@#)40 so like dont read into this tooooo much bc idk royaltrio cld be insnanely ooc here but. YEA.
started thinking abt akira constantly calling up goro and sumire even after 1) goro dies (so they think) and 2) sumire distances herself post-third sem. i elaborate on this on my shusumi fic........ sorry subtle shilling
^ tldr i think these 3 kinda drift apart after the snowglobe world crumbles, that false reality that ironically brought them so close together..... back in reality, things feel Different (but this is Our reality right? why does it feel so strange now?) and so. well its just not the same, no amtter what
the. the “the love was there. it didnt change anything. it didnt save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that the love was there” tumblr post
even though they loved each other and knew it too, there was also some sort of looming feeling that it won't last - but it does, still. it exists, in some meaningful sense-
akira sees and thinks about sumire and goro in everything he does, his day to day life, worries about them, wants to tell them about all he's doing, wants to hear about what they're up to. so he does so by leaving voicemails (although in this case sumire changed her number LMFAO. he does it anyway)
in the same vein, sumire thinks about all the things she'd like to tell goro, but with no address to send it to, it's useless. but she writes them anyway - more and more as a solace to herself, conversing with the memory of goro in her head, making him live on in that sense. and with akira i think it's a little more subtle. here she's trying to find a coffee shop that measures up to lebalnc, and of course she doesn't. there's only one leblanc and only one akira. but yeah like in sumire's case she kinda goes these "roundabout" ways in her Missing Them. theres also the added thing of her wanting to be more independent (from goro and akira and kasumi and tokyo and etc etc etc. also elaborated on in said fic)
goro! i think there's smth so poignant about visiting your own grave (i wrote sumire doing htis in another fic. thats an aside) hair cut, mask on, no gloves, he's a different sort of goro akechi but not really in any meaningful sense either. he's just different. sumire leaves the scarf (i think w sumire, she learns from goro like. omg im blanking on the word. LIKE reliability..? thinking realistically? smth like that.) so shes subconsciously thinks oh ill get him something useful like a scarf to keep warm (and a lil more subtle on the love aspect). akira gets him a lovely bouquet, straightforward and honest w his love/adoration, never afraid to spell it out. smth abt goro needing to live a new life now but also he keeps looking back - but this time, there's love when he looks back. there's still love
a kind of "youll always have home with me" sentiment btwn these 3. even if we never return there, youll still have a place in my heart
like "i dont think ill ever have that kind of love again. but i had it once. and even if i couldnt keep it, its still important." THIS IS HARD TO EXPLAIN
anyway tldr theres just some sentiment w royaltrio w Wanting to move on but also holding onto your past, and learning how to reconcile with the horrible parts but also the tender and lovely parts. sometimes there's stuff you gotta leave behind and grow past, grow around, even if it's good. even if it's good, you still have to push forward. <- a lesson that i'm trying to teach myself currently so thats why this is very. projecting. LMFAODSJKHJKSDKW sorry im crnge goodnight
these notes are horrible dont read these.
299 notes · View notes
ifimdreaming · 1 year ago
Text
come over?
luke hughes x reader
summary: you and luke have a secret/not so secret relationship
a/n: no warnings really, this is cute i think and very cringey fluff tbh. not proofread.
word count: 1.3k
Tumblr media
-
Keeping your relationship with Luke a secret from your friends was a hard enough task as it is, but having to keep it a complete secret from your family was proving to be an even more difficult task. It has been over 6 months of you and Luke being together now and everyday you just want to shout from the rooftops just how much you love him.
Although you knew being in the spotlight was 100% not what you wanted, it was so much harder than you thought to have to sneak around and pretend to be single around some of your very closest friends. And Luke knew how much it meant to the public for you to be known solely as ‘Luke Hughes’ Girlfriend’ so you had both agreed on the whole keeping-things-a-secret thing until further notice.
Because of this, It had been almost 2 weeks since you had last seen your boyfriend. Both you and him being respectively busy, and also having absolutely nowhere to spend time together as your two roommates had not been out of the house for any extended periods of time lately. And in the midst of that, Luke and Jack had a guest staying at their condo since the beginning of the month, making it nearly impossible for you to spend any time there at all.
This had you up late at night thinking about Luke for what felt like the millionth night in a row. wishing he was beside you instead of just your childhood stuffed animals. Wishing he was rubbing your back, soothing you to sleep, kissing your neck gently, tracing shapes on your skin - there were so many little ways he showed you his love and you missed every single one of them. And as much as you hated what was at risk with you sneaking him over - laying in bed dreaming about it caused absolutely no harm at all.
Pulling you out of your daydream, you hear buzzing begin to come from your phone that is left charging on your nightstand as you are trying desperately to fall asleep. You look over to see that it is Luke calling you, at almost 1:00 in the morning. You wonder if he had been up thinking about you too.
You reach over and grab your phone to answer him, “hi baby” you whisper into the phone, not wanting to wake up anyone else in your apartment.
“baby I cant sleep. I miss you so much” he says with a tired rasp in his voice. He lets out a sigh on the other end of the phone and its almost like he is right beside you. You can hear the longing in his voice and can just sense how frustrated he is with the single sigh.
“I miss you too lukey. I literally cant sleep either - ive just been up thinking about you” you say honestly. 
You have always been super honest with him about everything. Weather it be you telling him every single detail about how horrible your period is that week, how you absolutely dread doing the dishes and let them pile up for days before getting to them, how you refuse to go out past 5pm by yourself because you are terrified of being kidnapped, or explaining to him word for word why you love the movie ‘love rosie’ so much and how much it means to you when he agrees to watch it with you. Luke knew you so well and you knew him just the same. Because you always communicated with each other. about everything. No matter what. 
Thats why what he said next came as such a shock to you.
“Ive been thinking too..’’ he trails off, his tone quieter than before
You stay quiet on the other end of the phone, curious about what Luke is about to say and suddenly extremely aware of the fact that it is so late at night and he decided to call you without warning. After your silent thinking, you hum a quiet ‘mhm’ in response, urging him to continue.
“Ive just been thinking.. maybe I regret keeping things, with us, a secret for so long. I know I- We agreed to hold off, especially because of how it would affect your life and everything. And I know thats a really big deal. I dont want you to think im being selfish..” he begins, but waits for you to chime in with your thoughts.
Things have worked well this way for so long, that it surprised you he felt this way. Especially because Luke is a very private person in general, you assumed this is how he wanted things. It broke your heart if you made him feel like this was all your idea in the first place. You just thought it would be best for the both of you.
“Luke I dont know what to say. Honestly i thought we were on the same page so I didnt offer to change anything…” 
“How long have you felt like this?” you add, trying to speak loud enough but still with your voice in a whisper.
“I mean. I dont really know?” he says almost as a question
“Luke…” you urge him, hoping he will answer your question honestly.
“Well I guess - about a month now I guess? I know i shouldve said something sooner but I just didnt want to ruin anything. I know thats kind of..shitty..” He says regretfully
Theres the honest boy you know.
“I..I didnt know” you say. Honestly you ddnt know where to go from here. You wanted to tell everyone everything about your relationship at this very moment, but werent sure if thats where Luke was going with this.
“I- What are you thinking? I understand if you want to keep things the way they are. I wanna be clear that I really dont want to force you into changing anything. I just i couldn t keep it to myself anymore” 
It was so exciting to you knowing how much Luke cared about you. The way he cares for everyone around him has always been something you admire about him. He has the biggest heart in the world and you only hoped to be at least half as caring as him. Clearly this has been on his mind for a while and he cared so mch about your feelings towards it that he didnt want to let his feelings ruin what you have.
“Luke I love you, obviously as long as you know that, thats enough for me. But i do want everyone to know that too.” you say as the lump in your throat grows and tears well in your eyes. 
You honestly didn't know why this was making you emotional. But the combination of missing him, hearing him so delicately approach you with this, and knowing this might be the moment you get to share your love for him with the world, is making it hard to get your words out right now.
“I love you so much. and I want everyone to know I do too” he says matter of factly and your heart melts completely. 
You both sit in comfortable silence over the phone for a moment as your slight sniffles fill the quiet air. 
“I dont know why im crying..” you say through quiet laughter and hear Luke share laughter in response. He was so used to you being emotional over the most random things, this not surprising him one bit.
“What can i do baby?” 
You dont even have to think twice of your next response but pretend to be contemplating anyway,
“hmmmm, come over?” you respond hopefully. It thrilled you to think he might actually say yes. Even at 1:00 in the morning.
“Absolutely,” he says with a laugh and you grin ear to ear with giddy excitement, 
“give me 20 minutes”
-
-
877 notes · View notes
ganondoodle · 27 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
(OC Lore and design time!)
(it got longer again ... sorry ... idk how to make things short, i just need to talk, but i guess if you can read the written stuff in the pic thats the barest bare bones of what i wrote here)
i was asked what new lore story stuff i had thought about that made me sad which i mentioned a bit ago, and while that is too hard to explain given all the missing context i thought i could at least talk about lore having to do with it :D
so, (Lord) Eadrya is one of my fav OCs (big blue lad, here a rough sketch in humanoid form) they are both one of if not THE most powerful demon alive and the most battle trained;
at the mid point of the story the demon world gets invaded by the celestials (the angel inspired things i talked about in the previous lore post with Xaror) and Shargon, as the king, should be their first and only frontline, but at this point his life is only being sustained by maschinery after being mortally wounded, he cannot fight (he realizes what is going on, rips himself off the maschinery to get at least his youngest child to safety, barely managing it before dying- the guardian, the demons god, takes over his body to attempt to fight against the celestials but cant keep itself alive long enough since its host is already dead) Eadrya takes the role of the frontline fighter (despite being very full of themselves and aggressive they care about their 'job' of protecting their own, also giving them the chance to show off just how strong they are); the fight was going well for them all things considered, but when the guardian activates it drains the power of all elemental lords (which Eadrya is one of, and since they have the most strength it also takes the most from them), so much so that they lose the fight and suffer deadly wounds (the worst being a spear through the chest made of a material that grows hard, root-like formations when in contact with demonic blood like a fungus but worse, also stopping any self healing processes) after the guardian falls apart it creates a huge shockwave of energy that stuns every living thing within a certain distance and possibly more-
Eadrya (in true demon form, so like a blue whale in size at least) was likely taken through an active gateway to the human world in a large tidal wave also created by the guardians fall; they wash up in the harbor of a small secluded village, the head of which is 'lady 13'; although never having seen a demon before and everyone being afraid (largely thinking its a strange hurt animal, only she suspected otherwise), they still gather all villagers to pull out the celestial spear, which is diffcult and brutal given that its already taken root, but the village lacked both knowledge and means to help any other way- doing so damaged their heart which is how they were able to collect samples of all three demonic blood types ('normal' -red like humans-, energy -essentially purely magic- and heartblood -highly concentrated energy only found within the heart of a demon and the only one to contain genetic material) (this is the start of Eadryas character arc, having to deal with the fact that their world is likely destroyed, them failing what they didnt think they could fail, having lost a battle so badly (even if not really their fault) for the first time and not knowing if literally anyone else has survived .. also being now stuck in the human world, which they dont like)
Lady 13 (placeholder name? stands for experiment 13) is a human that was tricked by demon hunters to enroll into a series of experiments trying to create hybrids of demons and humans, which they hoped would be powerful and easily controllable tools for their endeavours, though the two are inherently not compatible, they tried grafting body parts of demons on humans to make them compatible- all experiments failed except for her, more or less, though she never got to see the hybrid she carried and was then told it had died too, they threw her out believing she wouldnt survive much longer either and all such experiments were cancelled due to the high cost of human life, research material (demons are still rare) and upkeep with no successful results Lady 13 survived though (perhaps even via the pirates picking her up?) and she ended up living in said small village far away, hiding her half demonic body, though most know there soemthing 'wrong' with her (her being this tall when it doesnt fit the rest for one), only few know the full extent; she enjoys the life she has now, perhaps on the more poor side but safer and more loved than ever before; she largely lead the efforts to try and help Eadrya when they ended up in the harbor, though there wasnt that much anyone could do it was still enough- they leave immediately after waking up, but return after really having nowhere to go and struggling to deal with everything that has happened; over time (probably years) they start to open up towards the people there (though not .. very much) enough to get rather close with Lady 13 too- she actually falls madly in love but after Eadrya (extremely aro/ace) rejects all her attempts quite clearly she respects their boundaries
However, after hearing news of potential demon sightings Eadrya decides to leave in hopes of not being the last demon left after all; Lady 13 then decides to reveal her secret to them (though hearing and seeing what lengths hunters would go to for their experiments makes them absolutely seething with rage- she insists on not being out for revenge) and asks if they would be willing to donate a small amount of heartblood; shes always wanted to be a mother but is now incompatible with humans too- through things she picked up back at the experiments facillity, hers and her doctors research she is sure that is all that is needed, she dares to ask since she does not know when, if ever, she will meet another demon, much less one she could actually trust enough for this though Eadrya hesitates (why would she want to go through the same thing again that didnt work and threatened her life, if it does work, do they want to be involved with any of this? what if hunters find out it worked after all?) but after her ensuring that they would have no part in it other than giving up a little blood and would not be considered a parent in any way, nor made responsible for anything that might happen to her, but considering it all in the end they agree to it
only for her to reveal shes had a small bottle of it already, along with multiple samples of the other types, which she collected when Eadrya was bleeding out into the harbor not knowing if they will survive, though not wanting to make use of it without their consent either way (they are actuallly rather touched by this)
alot later the main group returns here and it turns out to have worked (though she is unable to walk/bedridden for a long while bc it did alot of damage to her body, which can heal since its demons parts, but only really slowly bc she does not have a full functioning system and no demonic blood of her own -she uses the other samples for the healing process-) though its a little awkward to explain, especially considering that 13.1 took alot after Eadrya xD (their theory as to why it worked so "well" that time is that even though the sample was already taken, them giving their consent for it still made it less likely to be rejected; demons dont need partners to have offspring, and all can do it, they just have to decide to- so them agreeing to it, even though its long been outside their body, still had an effect on the blood sample)
#ganondoodles#art#ocs#original art#oc lore#demons#monsters#WHY does writing things liek this take me so long#i spent two hours again on this and im falling asleep as we speak bc its almost 2 am#ANYWAY this was alot again ... sorry#but its a relatively new storyline that i have been afraid of telling#since it touches on things im afraid might come across wrong and uses themes im a lil uncomfy with#but i found it interesting ... and works well with eadrya as a character bc it challenges alot about them#yes im wrote and mean this genuinely#i would have made the cut from her human body to the demon parts more smooth ... but this hard cut is the point#so that she looks rather normal on the upper part and can hide the rest#thoguh im unsure about the color scheme and if maybe i should be more creative with the demons parts#then again its largely just legs lol#if anyone actually reads this ........ i hope it comes across correctly#i like to use darker and more mature themes but am riddled with anxiety over how it will be understood#im gonna work on zelda comic stuff again now .. sorry for all the oc spam#but if there are questions PLEASE feel free to ask im pretty sure i have answers to almosst anything?#also i havent thought of a name for her or the kid .. though im starting to like lady 13#13.1 wont do as a name though poor kid deserves a proper name after already being a weird hybrid that shouldnt exist#either way ... going to bed now GOODNIGHT q-q#(any typos are excused by me being deadly tired ok)
183 notes · View notes
signedkoko · 9 months ago
Note
(separate) lucifer and striker with an s/o who fell from the heavens headcanons!! the more closer they get, the more they realize their s/o was one of the angels on the council but didn’t condone the extermination — of which, they were casted down to hell.
Lucifer | Striker X Reader [Romantic]
In which they know you are a fallen angel, but not the extent to which you protected hell. Reader is genderneutral.
Tumblr media
Lucifer could sense your presence quite fast
But only because you weren't an exterminator—no, you were something far stronger
It pained him to see a new angel cast down, the first since he was, bloodied and caught in the fiery pit you'd have to call home
He understood you must have been an angel that came along after him, though, because he didn't recognize you
Either way, Lucifer offered you a place to stay and let you adjust to life in hell through his lens—a safe house where demons couldn't bother you as much
Of course, he also wanted to make sure the news of your existence didn't get out
He could only imagine the kinds of people who might want to get their hands on a fresh angel
Even though he was cast down himself, Lucifer is very flattered that you know him and that you speak so highly of him
You quickly worm your way into his heart, and he loves talking to you a lot about his past and all the things he kept buried within him
Even down here, you still seemed happy, although a tad uneasy
He won't pressure you for your backstory too much, but with his knowledge of heaven he is able to gather that you were at least a mid-ranking angel on the council
Your position exactly, he wasn't sure
He only found out after he spoke about his daughter's plan with the hotel
" Thats a wonderful idea! They may cast me down for demanding an end to extermination, but I won't let them ruin your daughters redemption plans. "
You dropped it so casually that he almost missed it, swooning at how supportive of Charlie you were
Actually chokes
Please give him a moment to catch his breath because, wait, really?
That explains a lot, at least
Of course, heaven would cast down the most beautiful of angels just for being kind to even the most damned beings
That same anger within him roars back to life, both for you being shut down and for how he, too, was treated in heaven
He'd make sure your life was far better here, no matter what it took
Tumblr media
Being a fallen angel is already an extremely worrisome background for Striker, especially following his hate for royalty
Not that a fallen angel is royalty, but the power dynamic is hard for him to get over, as guilty as he feels now for holding it against you
When you first met, he saved you from another bounty hunter
Saved is the wrong word
He stole you so he could get a prize himself
But it all backfired when you were just so kind and curious, and offering you up to some terrible people didn't feel like the right move
Striker told himself he'd hold onto you until he knew the true value of an angel, but that may have just been him stalling for time
Either way, your charm worked wonders, and now he was stuck with the most attention-grabbing partner in all of hell
Oh well, he knew he could protect you
While he was curious about your life in heaven, Striker was extremely used to not asking questions about others past
But the more he knew, the more he wanted to know
Every few months, you'd tell a story that revealed a new interesting piece of information, things that made him wonder what you had to have done to be so harshly cast down
It all made sense when he puzzled it together one afternoon, when you were particularly fond of your past memories
" I hope Em isn't in trouble too. "
" Why so? "
" Well, she also thought killing demons was pretty bad... "
" Of course, hun. "
As usual he nods along with you before he freezes and jumps out of his chair
" Hol on now, what? "
Striker is able to puzzle things together fast, and he's not sure if he's more pissed at the angels above you or if he's surprised you felt that way
He'd always assumed no angels thought good of demons, but this changed things
Next extermination, he wants to have a hand at capturing one of those winged fuckers and seeing if he can force some more out of them
Tumblr media
Author's Note - DEVIL FINALLY I GOT TO UR REQ!!! More Striker content, love to see it- and ofc Lucifer, who I know is about to be eaten up by every person in this god forsaken community. Thank you for requesting 🖤
631 notes · View notes
rhysandsfavwhore · 1 month ago
Text
Sweet Dreams
Rhysand x fem!reader
content; stressed and clingy Rhys (i honestly dont know why i like writing about a stressed clingy rhys for), fluff
notes; okay ik this doesn’t completely match up with Rhys’ backstory but its okay☺️
—————————————————
Ink covers his tanned hands as they grip onto the desk, a result of days and days worth of paperwork. He was writing back to all the courts, gathering plans and information on Hybern.
However, it seems he doesn't have a responsibility of taking care of himself. The pile of uneaten food on the floor directly below his window, his sunken eyes and haunted look is all proof of that fact.
As his childhood friend, you were especially worried for him. He isn't himself. granted, he witnessed and been through much more, but looked like he had lost it.
“If you wanted to see me, you should have just asked.” Rhys sighs, attempting to straighten the mess that is his desk.
“And would you have let me? See you, that is.” You respond, crossing your arms at him. You had made her way in here after claiming his window was ‘broken.’
“I've been busy.” He offers.
“Right.” You nods, her gaze distant, understanding his pressure and mounds of work to get through.
“You know, I think your window is broken. Food always seems to be falling from it.” You says, your brows raising. “You want to explain this to me?”
“No.”
“Rhys.”
“No” He corrects coldly. He then watches her straighten, and feels a twinge of guilt. He takes a few deep breaths, closing his eyes and slowly opening them again.
"Rhys..” you try again, hoping to get anything more than one word from him.
“That will be all, Y/N”
“Rhys, wait-”
“That will be all ”
“Let me help you fix the window. Please. It doesn't have to stay broken.” You says. something in your expression tells Rhys your not just talking about the window, anymore.
“I'm afraid it's beyond repair.” he replies, barely above a whisper.
“oh Rhys” you say, walking over to him and running a hand through his hair. “nothing cannot be fixed”
He allows himself to close his eyes after you run your hand through his messy hair, and he practically melts into your touch. He’d miss this. He’d miss you. He hadn’t seen you all week.
“How can you be sure?” He counters, and it’s almost a challenge.
“because that ‘window’ is not broken, it just needs a hand, and thats what I’m here for.”
He can’t find the strength to fight you on it any longer. He’s tired, both mentally and physically. He can feel the bags under his eyes weighing him down.
He leans into you for comfort, placing his head on your chest and wrapping his arms around you. It was a move he hasn’t done since he was a young child, and the memory of his childhood days was almost enough to make him cry.
All he could manage was a weak “I’ve missed you.”
“ive missed you too Rhys” you said, your voice almost breaking. after everything you’ve seen him go through, you couldn’t understand why this hit so hard, but you didn’t want to pry.
Rhys holds you tighter, his grip desperate and needy. Your familiar warmth was almost enough to make him gasp. He’d missed you so much, being cooped up in his office all day just left him with his own thoughts, and he almost drowned in them.
He needed you, here, now.
“shh, im here” you cooed, running fingers through his hair.
The simple, yet affectionate gesture was enough to make Rhys eyes water. He wanted to speak, wanted to say anything to express how he was feeling, but he was afraid that if he even opened his mouth- he’d burst into tears.
So he stayed like that, his arms around your middle and his head pressed against you, listening to your heartbeat. The steady rhythm was like a metronome, and he found himself getting calmer with each thump. This side of him was one he was embarrassed to show, one even you and only seen on few occasions.
you pressed a kiss to the top of his head and allowed him to stay comfortably resting on you, not wanting to disturb he one moment of peace he has had in days.
Rhys felt warmth bloom in his chest as you kissed the top of his head. It was something you used to do all the time when you were kids, and the action itself was enough to bring a few tears to Rhys’ eyes.
“Thank you for checking on me,” He mumbled out the words into your shirt. “I’ve been really out of it, lately.”
“i know, i know. come on you need some rest” you said before taking him by the hand and leading him to his bedroom.
Rhys, while a bit surprised, lets you lead him over to his bed without protest. You could see the exhaustion in his weary eyes, he needed sleep, and he didn’t even realize it.
When you reach the edge of the bed, he stops, and seems to hesitate before laying down. He’s still holding your hand, and makes no move to let go.
you stand, unsure weather you should pull away from his grip or not. “ill go grab you some water, get some sleep” you say, deciding leaving him to rest was your best option.
Rhys’ hand gripped yours tighter in reaction, and you could see a hint of panic in his expression. “Don’t go.” He muttered.
He really did look like a lost little kid at the moment. His hair was messy, his eyes were tired, and his clothes disheveled.
You smiled slightly at him and gave a small nod and you lay on the edge of the bed, slightly propped up against the headboard, unsure what to do.
Almost as if he were magnetized, Rhys quickly moves over to you, and lays down on the bed next to you. He doesn’t let go of your hand, instead he intertwines his fingers with yours.
He can’t bring himself to move his gaze away from you, he looks at you with the eyes of a man starved; who finally found some water. He just needed you now.
You gently ran his free had down the side of his face giving him a sweet smile.
Rhys leaned into the soft touch of your hand against the side of his face. He couldn’t help but close his eyes for a second, savoring the feeling of your fingers on his skin. Every little touch sent his heart racing.
He opened his eyes after a moment, and gave you a weak smile. “You always used to do that.” He muttered out the words just loud enough for you to hear, “Whenever I couldn’t sleep.”
“i know” you gave him a soft smile and kept your reassuring movements going.
Rhys was practically purring at the feeling of your fingers against his skin. The combination of it and his exhaustion was making his eyelids feel incredibly heavy.
He moved himself closer, until his head was rested against your chest. He could hear the rhythmic thump of your heartbeat through your shirt, and it almost made him yawn.
You were shocked at how close he got to you. a part of you relaxed knowing that you always wanted to be more than friends but scared to tell him and thought maybe, he now felt the same, but you brushed the thought aside knowing he needed his friend now, not a girl pinning over him.
He shifted on the bed, until he was resting mostly on top of you. He wrapped his arms around your midsection, his grip desperate and almost needy.
He was silently begging you to stay with him, even if he didn’t realize it. He buried his head against your chest, and let out a shaky breath.
“get some sleep Rhys” you sighed, smoothing your hands down his back.
Rhys could feel the steady rise and fall of your chest as your hands move up and down his back, the sensation was hypnotizing.
He couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer, and he found himself drifting off to sleep. He mumbled something, but it was inaudible with his face buried into your shirt.
As he drifted off, you whispered, so quite you could hardly hear yourself, “i love you Rhys” hoping he was asleep.
But he wasn’t asleep, and he’d heard.
He felt his heart flutter in his chest, and a warm feeling began to bloom in his chest. You loved him. You loved him?
He didn’t speak, and he didn’t move. He pretended that he was asleep. He wanted to hear more.
“i love you Rhys, i always have” you whispered, thinking out loud as you ran your hands through his hair, thinking this is the closest you will every get to being more than a best friend to him.
The words echoed in Rhys’ head, over and over again. You loved him. You always had.
He could’ve laughed, he certainly wanted to. Had he really been that dense?
He could feel your fingers running through his messy hair, and it was enough of a distraction to keep him from exploding with emotions right there.
“sweet dreams Rhys”
——————————————
247 notes · View notes
boscoess · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
*★,°*:.☆\TONKA NINJA FOR @dreambot's BC CHALLENGE/$:*.°★*
||NAME|| Tonka Ninja
||NICKNAME|| Tonka the Snack
||ZODIAC SIGN|| sun: pieces\moon: virgo\asc: leo
||AGE|| 24
||TRAITS|| Dance machine\Self-assured\Mean
Tumblr media
Well,miss Tonka is a very hard working woman,she has stripping background and nowdays she owns and runs a club of her own,miss mawma also has an exceptional taste of a calabasas baddie(main inspos for her warderobe were Bianca Censori and miss Leah the queen Kateb)
So when i pick traits i kind of give them an explanation of my own so here are hers:
-As for dance machine she has always been in love with dancing,she has done ballet school and a lot of other dancing courses since she was a mini tonka
-Self-assured comes from her experiencing sex work at its finest,she is very picky because she had experienced almost all kind of men and she knows what she deserves purr
-Well,i explain her ''mean'' nature as her being a baddie,she wont stand disrespect and she will get in and get u good before u even try to explain urself,also she comes from a ''tough love''background and thats the only way she can express her love
Few more facts:
+She is strictly monogamous and straight\she loves dominating the dominators and she might fall for an abuser
+She is half Japanese half Chilean
+If she wins she will get a pony
+She cannot stand the colour green and if anyone has it on she will jump them probably
+She is a huge JT fan and she wont enter the villa unless no bars is playing.
+Also i spent 6 hours dressing her and she has nearly billion outfits..
Thats it bye mwah!
218 notes · View notes
freakroth · 8 months ago
Note
Hii!! Can I req Chuuya x SH reader? Can be both angst and fluff, you don't have to tho if you don't wanna <3
Tumblr media
𝓒𝓱𝓾𝓾𝔂𝓪 𝔁 𝓖𝓝! 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is another thing i didn't expect people to request, and it brings me so much comfort when i find sh comfort fanfics:(
If you are struggling with sh please know i'm always open to talk if you want:) and i'll try to comfort you to the best of my ability! (i'm usually not on here during the day so you can ask me for my discord in dms)
I'M SO SRRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO MAKE I REALLY NEEDED A BREAK SINCE I WAS SO STRESSED FROM SCHOOL 😭
Also, English isn't my first language so please dont mind any spelling errors!!
TW: SH, gore? Talk about fresh SH cuts, Might be ooc😓 please tell me if i missed anything!
Words: 1,3k
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sometimes in life things don't go the rigth way, is what people say, they say "sometimes in life things don't go the way we want, but thats just how it is"
But right now it felt like absolutely nothing was going the right way, you felt like the whole world was against you, like you were some useless peace of garbage that could be thrown out at anytime, like there was no one in this damn world that would sit down and listen to your pityfull problems. you were at your abselut worst.
And the only thing that could help the with it was the razor in your hand, which is cutting your thigh. you move almost like a robot, you don't even feel the pain of the razor anymore. everything seems like a dream, all the blood coming out of your cuts and dripping and mixing in with the water of the bathtub, your vision being slightly blury.
You can feel your heart pounding in your chest as you bring your razor to your Radial vein. you shake slightly as you look down at your wrist debating if you should cut it or not.
As you start breathing faster you look at the suicide note you left on the chair next to the bathtub. you wondered how long it would take for chuuya to find you, would he even care if you died?
you feel tears start to run down your face and you start to sniffle uncontrollably.
As you're about to cut the vein you hear a loud knock on the door, "[name]? baby are you in there..?" your boyfriend chuuya asks in a quiet voice.
You quickly wipe your tears and panic a bit as you didn't lock the door since you weren't expectinc chuuya to come home this early, "Y-yeah.." you say trying to not sound sad, but knowing chuuya he most likely heard the saddnes in your voice.
"Darling.. is something wrong..?" He asks in a conserned voice, "i'm just.. washing my hair" you try to come up with an exuse while your whole body is shaking. "Darling, you washed your hair yestarday tho? are you really okay in there..?"
'Damn i forgot about that' you think while trying to find a place to hide the razor. While you panic you some how bump into the soaps and knock them down making a loud noise. "Baby are you okay? i'm coming in" he says and opens the door, "NO WAIT!" but before you can stop him, he has already opened the door and seen your cuts.
.....
.....
After a few moments of silence and staring at each other, chuuya finally makes a move closer to you.
"...Chuuya.. please i'm sorr-.." You try to explain but your voice starts to shake and you feel a lump in your throat. "...shh.." He quitelly walks closer to you and wipes the small tears that have started to for in your eyes.
"...I'm so sorry.. i k-know i said i'd.. try to stay clean for you.. i tried my best.. i swear.. i'm sorry.. please.. p-please don't get mad.." You sob as more and more tears start falling from your eyes. Your vision is starting to blur from all the tears, so much so that you can't even see chuuya anymore.
"....shh... darling.. i would never be mad at you.. what could ever make you think that..? i understand how hard it is to recover from something like this.." He whispers into your ear while holding you close, not even caring about the blood staining his clothes.
All you can do is cry and cry, you cant even manage to answer his question, all that came out if your mouth were pityfull sobs and 'i'm so sorry'. Chuuyas shoulder was becoming wet form all the tears but he didn't mind, he would do anything just so that you could feel better.
After some time of Chuuya trying to comfort you and trying to get you to tell what happened, did you finally calm down slightly, just enough for you to able to answer his questions.
....
Chuuya starts washing your cuts gently, you both sit there in silence with the only sound beinf your small sniffles and some small choked sobs.
After a few seconds chuuya decides to break the slience, "..Darling, please.. what happened that made you relapce..?" he asks with a gentle tone while holding your shaking hands in his. For a moment you stay slient, wiping your tears. "...i... i-i've...", you say in a shaky voice trying to break out into a crying mess again. Right at this moment you didn't know what to say, you really didn't know how to say what made you do it.
"...take your time..", Chuuya's soft voice snaps you out of your trance, you feel his thumbs rubbing on top of your hands in a comforting way.
"...its hard to say.... i-i don't know how to put it into words..", you whisper, hoping chuuya wouldn't be mad. You're scared he'll be mad at your answer, scared he'll force you to talk, force you like your mother would always do. You remember the first time you relapsed she got mad and forced you to talk, even when you were crying.
"..thats fine.. its not always easy to put something like this into words.." Chuuya caressed your back in a comforting way, making you want to just cry, cry so hard and let everything out, everything that has been bothering you, all your worries and troubles. You felt so comfortable in his arms, like you were safe. "would writing it help?", he asks and runs his fingers through your hair.
You burry your face in his neck and nod, feeling him pick you up and carry you over to your bedroom. He gently puts you on the bed and you slightly whine from the stinging pain that came from your cuts, holding back your tears. '..i'm sucha an idiot..' you think while watching chuuya leave the room to go get paper.
....
Chuuya comes back after some time with a piece of paper and a pen. He gives you the stuff and sits down next to you while waiting for you to write on the paper.
You sit there for a second before starting to write about how you've been feeling really insecure about yourself and thinking that you arent enough for him and that he should be with someone else. Once you're done writing you hesitate to give the paper back to chuuya for a bit, but you decide to just do it.
Once its in Chuuyas hands, you look away embaressed about the thngs you wrote, hoping he wouldn't judge you for it.
After a bit of silence, chuuya finally says something, "Darling.. why didn't you tell me..? i could've helped you feel better.." He says quietly and you just look down ashamed feeling like everything is your fult. You knew you should have told him, maybe then you wouldn't be in so much pain at the moment.
You felt like you were about to cry again, you felt weak. You just wanted to lay down and forget about the world around you.
"...i was scared.. i'i was so scared you'd be mad at me..." Your voice breaks as you try to explain everything to him. Chuuya sit there with you in his arms listening to you with a worried look on his face.
"...darling i would never hate you.. you're the most important person in my life, i would never be mad at you for relapcing.." He says while stroking your hair and rocking back and forth slowly. you hug him tight, like your scared he'll be gonne once you let go of him.
For the rest of the night chuuya keeps you in his arms while he comforts you and tells you how much he loves you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Grr the end was rushed 😓😓
Anyways, pleae give me some feedback, it really helps me when people tell me what i should try to be better at.
Do not repost this on any other website without asking me first and giving me credit!!
Requests: Closed for now
384 notes · View notes
ay-chuu · 3 months ago
Text
Thank you, next? (Ex!)
Obey me boys (brothers + dateables <except simeon>) past lovers hcs and thoughts about why mc is different from them. <AKA why they fell for you> (By the way i didnt specify any gender in ex's because i talk about all genders!!) Mc is gn too!
(Warning: kinda suggestive. Talking about one night stands and pls, pls spare my grammer mistakes eng. Is not my first language 😔🤙🏾)
Notes: idk why but i couldn't write for my fav, simeon. Maybe i will add him to this post in future
Tumblr media
Lucifer
I dont think his pride let him date someone ever. He stayed in the line of courting and flirting. Like really a lot. He just wanted to see if they were going to gain his affection or not. The persons im actually talking about is always... prideful like him. He never gave a chance to people like Diavolo. (So diavolo was his first in this category AHEM!) Loyals to noble, citizen to high society. It didnt matter to him. He flirted everyone who catched his attention (which is really hard...) and when it happened it just ended with some one night stands. He never felt love. He just liked them for fun, passion or just to... experience. Witches, sorcerers, demons, angels... it really didnt matter to him.
Personas like Mc was out of his lines naturally. His pride didnt even make him thought about it. But as his brothers started to be fond of you, he realised what he misses. The real sincerity he wants, the real experience he aches... that was the first realization of his love for you.
Mammon
He dated people that mostly like him. careless, luxury-loving, praise-loving and boastful... you know the starboys, stargirls, star people like 'amazing' as him. Models, actresses, actors, singers, idols... and even though he never dated a witch he had some one night stands. Sorry for bad example but until meeting mc, dating for him was like leanardo di'caprios love life 👋🏼😭 (HE DOESN'T HAVE THE AGE PROBLEM PLS)
The reason he fell hard was how he actually felt some really careness from mc unlike some fake praises or just you know... unnecessary exaggerated sentences. But with mc, he really felt like being listened. Being cared, being not put the role of some jerk.
Leviathan
None. Except you count his 3 months virtual lover lolol?? He was just jealous of his brothers and wanted to experience it but he just really felt like doing some lovers rp in that time. Even his brothers doesn't know this too.
Does he really have to explain? You always acted him nice. Never saw him as a key of something. You really loved to listen his yapping. And never judged him for a something that he actually screwed. Yoy accepted him as a friend, and he did too. But as some time passes... he realised he was in love with his true friend.
Satan
Dating? No. Courting? No. Flirting? For some fun and lust, yes. Just these. Except that he loved to be unique socialite. He loved to feel the 'i want to be with you' eyes on him. He never admits this too. But like a cat, he just loved to gain it. His social connections are everwhere so from witches to sorcerers, models to artists, lower demons to nobles he always got the attention he wanted. But like i said it was just some fun. A passion that lasts as long match. Thats all.
You accepted the challenge of peeling his barriers. And the first time you did... he was really angry. (The moment you declined his pact offer) he really didnt like to fail his achieves. But you didnt like it either. He loved that. But all aside, you found his existential crisis a solve. And you just did it because it became right to you. Not because you wanted to impress him... or lucifer. He felt this in his long life for first.
Asmodeus
... do you really need me to explain? All people. He tried every kind, sort, type, every! As long as he felt like a new kind of challenge, a new kind of lust and being worshiped. When i say everyone i mean it. From the devildom to human world. Even when he was an angel. He was just a bit more careful and less playful then.
Not being able to charm you? Challenge accepted. Being x2 times AND emotionally charmed by you? Take it back. TAKE IT BACK! He always loved to being attached not to attached to someone! But as he knows you more, he realize this is also a new kind of feeling! He always thought live long loves were going to make him so bored and prisoned at some point. And he was right about being prisoned. But did he care? Not anymore.
Beelzebub
Nahh even he did tried to date [he was just curious] it backfired. Whenever the person asked for some alone time or date he always declined because of some kind of planned event with his brothers. And with some time this caused the relationships end naturally. His family was always first for him.
And thats the reason. His family is always FIRST for him. And you, who saved his brother and made his family all happy and together again also were a family member. You were just new in it. You did what he couldnt. He was so grateful to have you... and his admiration for you turned to love. Because he realized how perfect you personality was. Because he realized how his family was healed with you.
Belphegor
He probably always made fun of this topic like an emo boy 🥲 whenever he felt some urges like lust he just had some one night stands. He was so focused on his self hatred side and that made him always look down on love.
And now he also hates about himself for this too. He always felt guilt how this way of thinking made him hurt you. How someone like you, just a human, free him from lucifer and... his own prison. He killed your trust. He literally strangled it with his hand. But still, you found a way to find a new trust again and show to him. He really believed he really didn't deserve you. And when he realized that, he knew what he was feeling.
Diavolo
He did it for learning duty. As the prince of devildom he must know how to court a lady, gentleman or anybody. So he really courted lots of person. He was really kind to them. Even though he was forced to do so with some of them (ahem politic reasons) he never dropped his perfect act. But problem was here. It was all act. He never felt like saying the things he actually said. Or when he spent the night away with them he always felt so weird after with it. Still knowing he was going to marry a demon someday and going to do that anyways, he did not think so much on it.
But never he did think he would fallen love with a human that he invited. At first he really tried to deny and reason himself. Like even though he did break all the 3 barriers and connected them, this didn't gave a permission to have you. Still, he didnt care. He always acted like a good prince and he still does. Doesn't he deserves some really sincerity. Doesn't he deserves your kind actions. Even if its a little bit, doesn't he deserves you?
Barbatos
This mf... bro is the kind of parent that did all kind of things but never let his son doing it. I mean it. When he was using his power freely he did lots of sins about love. Breaking hearts, seducing someone taken to have it himself, then leave them to start a new adventure... man was the owner of the song: heartless. But since he started to serve as diavolo's butler, he changed all of his personas about this. Even his one night stands was so rare. And he is acting like a such a parent about this too. Like when diavolo starts to say about his new courtship bro is yapping like "may i meet them first my lord?" . If there was a thing that didn't changed about him, this was how slowly he would give himself to someone.
And this happened with you too. When he sensed your interest, he hid himself pretty well. But the trouble was, Barbatos realized that your interest was more of a pure curiosity than the curiosity he had experienced in the past. In fact, many people had approached him like this in the past. The difference was that now he had really changed. Goodness, did many year let him forget what was exciting about this... but no. This was so much better. Because for a first time, he wanted to give in really. For a first time he wanted to last it long. Yes he changed a lot. And he wished he did it sooner.
Solomon
I do not think in game he had 700 wives and 300 concubine BUT i think he dated some people for benefits. Like more power, knowledge, etc. Also he had a loong life as human so im sure he had sone interests. But he never felt... the one for him. He just felt nice, giggly, also got the things he wanted. Thats all. "It was nice while it lasted" is the quote for him.
At first he was amused how every brother started to fall for you one by one. This got him curious. He actually thought you were like him and always found a way to charm someone to make them do the things you wanted. But he didn't expect you to be REALLY get attached to brothers because you love them. And it was this easy for you. He was all alone in his thoughts and goals almost in every inch of his life. But you came, didn't question him, just wanted to help him with his loneliness like you did the brothers. You didn't even asked more from him but he wanted to give you more. So he ofdered you to be his apprentice. For him, you were a diamond he had been searching in underground for decades.
210 notes · View notes
moronic-validity · 2 months ago
Text
Okay, okay
2:26, not 3 am yet
Mdni, 18+, again, not a big blog, I can and will check.
This is me being thirsty for Fiddleford and Ford and is mainly just self serving smut (sorry folks, nothing super graphic) thats a bit ooc!
Fidds x Ford x reader
Okay but can you imagine being a second research assistant? Maybe still a student, or another graduate that was a friend of Fidds? It's not hard to convince you to join, hell, you're happy to work on a project that actually has funding. Moving out to Gravity Falls to meet Ford for the first time, reconnecting with your friend, and realizing pretty quickly that the two are absolutely, definitely fucking.
How could you not notice? The way they look at each other, the way they occasionally sneak off together while you're focused on your work, hell, Ford didn't have the cabin sound proofed, even if you had missed everything else, the moans and whimpers were unmistakable.
But no one talked about it.
Fidds had an alibi, a loving wife and a kid back in Palo Alto.
Ford had something resembling an alibi, ever married to his work, with no time for relationships of any kind.
And you? You had a lot of pent up sexual frustration of your own, stuck in the woods with two men that had each other to satisfy their baser needs; meanwhile, you had your hand and no time to get more intimately familiar with it.
The shift was gradual, the changes easily explainable.
Fidds was always physically affectionate, so it wasn't odd when he began to drape himself over your shoulders to watch you work, asking questions and proposing small adjustments. It wasn't even all that odd when he'd convince you to come to bed and cuddle you through the night when Ford couldn't be convinced to leave the lab.
Ford was always prone to impulsive moments of affection, or at least thats what Fiddleford had told you, so it wasn't the strangest thing in the world when he pulled you into an excited kiss when you came back from a walk with one of Moth Man's moths in a jar. It didn't strike you as odd when he pulled you into a breath-taking, bruising kiss when you finally figured out amd fixed a minor error with one of his prototypes.
Nothing struck you as out of the ordinary until you were pressed between them, a tangle of sweaty limbs, your heartbeat in your ears, drowning out the panting moans. Even then, your only confusion was why Ford was still wearing his socks.
132 notes · View notes
24kmar · 6 months ago
Text
𝐖𝐇𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎 (P. Zweig)
Apart of my fic "Born Stunna"
Tumblr media Tumblr media
𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Patrick Zweig x fem! Reader
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: 18+ MDNI, Smut, language, cheating, brat! Reader, manipulative! Reader (wolf in sheeps clothing)
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: when tashi and art start going to hard y/n with tennis, she decides to take a break from them. Confiding in none other than patrick. 🎀apart of my fic "Born Stunna". Enjoy!!
Idea from @doll-0f-flesh
𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒍𝒊𝒆, 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒆𝒓 𝒄𝒐𝒐𝒍. 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒂 𝒄𝒓𝒖𝒔𝒉 𝒐𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒍
Karma takes form in Y/N L/N. It had been a rough week for her. Art and tashi getting on her ass and her nerves. Sure she had been slacking with tennis, but could you blame her?
So much stress and hard work was bound to get to her. So, she looked for a stress reliever. That stress reliever taking form in patrick zweig. She saw the way he looked at her. His eyes following her wherever she went.
𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝑰 𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒆𝒔, 𝑰 𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒂𝒔𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒆𝒔
So, why not play it to her advantage? She told art and tashi she was going for a late night drive to clear her head. What she didnt tell them was that the passanger was none other than patrick.
"You sure about this?" He asks nervously, not wanting to get in the middle of her, art, and tashi.
"Yes pat, dont act like you dont want this as much as i do" she smirks, carressing his thigh softly.
𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒆𝒇𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒚 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇, 𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍 𝑰'𝒎 𝒔𝒐 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒇𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝑻𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐.
Tumblr media
"God- fuck" she gasped out as patrick bounced her on his cock in the driver seat of her car. Rain pouring down. Background noise to the sound of skin slapping skin.
"Shit" patrick moaned, bruising grip on her hips. Sure to leave marks she'd have to find a way to explain to tashi and art. "Fuck you feel like heaven" patrick groaned, eyes screwing shut and jaw falling slack. "Y'see that princess" he chuckled, looking down to see the bulge off his dick in her stomach "im in your guts." He giggled, pressing on the bulge.
Making her let out a mewl. His cock reaching places she didnt even know existed. The sting of the stretch bringing pleasure and pain. Leaning down to put her head in the crook of his neck, she started leaving open mouth kisses on it.
Making him moan, cock twitching as she lets out a particular moan. He knows that moan, thats how he knows shes close. This isnt the first time theyve done this.
"You close princess?" He speaks, grabbing the back of her neck making her look at him. "Huh?"
She nods, going to put her face back in the crook of his neck. "Nuh uh princess" he tuts, making her look at him again "want you to look at me when y'cum. Can you do that?" Nodding, she lets out a silent scream, cumming. "Atta girl" he smiles moving to kiss her neck. "Mm no marks" she whispers, earning an eyeroll from him. "Wonder what art and tashi would say if they saw you be such a slut for me" he smirked
The feeling of her cunt spasming around him getting him close also. "Fuck, m'gonna cum" he pants. "Where do you want it baby?" He asks. "Want y'to cum in me"she replied, gasping at the overstimulation. Just those words pushed him to the edge. Groaning as he came in her.
Tumblr media
After getting redressed, they get to talking. Giggling like idiots, her phone buzzes. Rolling her eyes opening to see a texts from tashi and 3 missed calls from art.
"Oh shit" she spit out
"What? Whats up?" Patrick furrows his eyesbrows from the sudden change of atmosphere.
Looking over to see a message that reads
'Y/N'
'Where are you?'
'Y/nnn'
'Answer your phone'
'Are you with patrick?'
oh fuck.
315 notes · View notes