#i miss them but i still don't have the motivation or energy to draw them like i used to ;_;

[tiredsurvivoronmain]

Got lucky and met a masquerade Ghostface with the cat mask

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

I admire your patience with those readers who need you to spoon feed them the story. Everything is in the comics but they still manage to go pass it. I can't help but feel a bit sad for them? Do they not understand what they read? Are they not attentive when reading it? I'm legitimately concerned because I function so differently I can't fathom this. If you like a story, isn't it normal to make your best to grasp it's essence and reflect on it? I know I project a lot about this, everyone works and registers things differentely of course but sometimes it's very frustrating to see people consume any media and just completely miss all the important messages in it, or even just fail to get the scenario sometimes, and it feels like it's very common now... Idk I just wanted maybe to have your perspective on this? Sorry for the long post (Been here for a few years now and your a true inspiration to me. All my luv to you! ❤️)

You know, I'm gonna be honest. I used to stress out about this... a LOT.

As a story-brained person, this is definitely something that comes naturally to me, and perhaps to you, and to many other people who are wired similarly. To us, following the path of a story in an analytic, highly detail-motivated manner and unwrapping the themes can be as exciting as lifting up a rock to see the bugs underneath. It's an exciting mental activity that's stimulating and feels effortless.

And yes, as an author who spends literally 60% of my day thinking about this comic and how to draw it, panel it, script it, make it better (I script and panel in my head constantly)........ I have trouble realizing/dealing with the fact that some people are just here to CASUALLY enjoy the story that I am lowkey obsessed with.

But I've come to realize that... that's NORMAL! And healthy.

People have different attention spans for different things.

People have varied ways to read a story and engage with it.

People have unique interests.

People don't have the same amounts of energy to devote to reading!

Maybe someone missed a detail I lovingly and painstakingly put into the dialogue because they're reading the update late at night after a long shift at work. And maybe someone scrolled past the dialogue completely and just got the gist from looking at the art, because they're in a hurry to get to practice at their favorite sportsball.

And maybe someone just had a really bad day with a really bad encounter, and they're reading the update in a terrible mood and instead of seeing MY grey-morality narrative, they're focusing on all the negative points and misread the vibes because of their own biases that stem from places of hurt.

The thing is, I have to be okay with that as an author, because I will NEVER be able to get into my audience's heads and read this comic 'correctly' for my own sake.

They will always have a slightly different interpretation of things, and they will always misunderstand details and miss clues. And sometimes, they will be wrong about the way they read a character's motivations... and sometimes maybe they won't be! That's just a part of communication. That's a part of telling a story.

An imperfect delivery, and an imperfect reception should, in my opinion, be a natural and accepted part of storytelling. We're human, and we all have a different lived experience, and we will ALL have different takes on a comic, even if it's so close that we THINK we are both getting the exact same thing. That small human interpretation variation is a home-made touch that makes it feel more organic.

In short.... Not all light particles make it here from the sun, but damn the result is stunning anyway.

[queerponcho]

Transfixed | part 1

collage made by me with pictures from pinterest

moonknight!system x female!reader

a/n: been writing this fic for about a year now so it's nerve-wrecking to finally post the first chapter. I hope you'll like it!! (pls be gentle...)

thanks to the lovely @nexusnyx for motivating me a few weeks ago, would've never considered posting without having our convo the other day!! Thank you so much<33

Warnings: no use of Y/N, fluff, NOT beta read, gushing about the moonboys, flustered awkward dorks, plot-twists, (eventual smut, the chapters will be marked individually), inaccurate depictions of DID, egyptian mythology and religion (although I did extensive research I took liberty in changing some things to adhere to my plot...), if I missed anything or made any spelling mistakes pls don't hesitate to tell me!

Summary: You're a woman who as been visiting the same library for all your life. One day a handsome new face comes walking in. That's the moment when the ball starts rolling and your entire life changes. Will you accept the new challanges coming your way...?

2,200 words

You have been visiting the same library all your life. While you were in school you  would go there to have a quiet place to study. Since at home you always had a lot of family and busy energy around, you needed the library as sort of an...escape from all the noise. Later when you got into university, the library had become kind of a safe space for you. So you would rather sit in the bus for half an hour to and back to study there instead of the grimy and packed library on campus.

Even now that you work and have enough books at home to basically open your own library, you still can't part from your little paradise. Everyone knows you here and a few months ago the owners of the library even adopted a cat that seemed to really like you. So chances of moving on from here had definitely been ruined.

You loved reading all kinds of story based books, but spending so much time here made you curious, so you also picked up a few skill based ones. you had read a few gardening and science books but the ones you would actually start applying were the books that had to-do with art. Autobiographies of different artists and painters, different studies and research on colour and brushes. You became almost a bit obsessed at some point. So you started sketching and drawing things around you based on the knowledge you'd gathered from your extensive research. you would draw people around the library after work or before meeting friends in the nearby café. You'd never claim to be an artist but you were proud of your drawings nonetheless. for the past few weeks you had started to draw one very specific person. You saw them for the first time a bit over a month ago…

It was a rainy day and you'd just finished lunch with a friend. You said goodbye and you decided to head to the library to continue on with your sketches of the cute ginger kitten. After saying hello to the owners and giving the kitten a treat, you made your way to your usual corner in the back. Since the library wasn't very big you had a good view of the entrance and a few tables. you'd been sitting and drawing for about ten minutes when you noticed the kitten smelling your coat pocket in search of more treats. You smiled down at her 'hiiii kitty!' you picked her up and placed her on your little round table. 'you want another treat huh?' She looked back with big shiny eyes 'alright alright...there you go'. She happily chewed on the fish-shaped cookie while you continued drawing her. 

The familiar noise of the door opening caught your attention....a man came in, he was wearing a brown flat-cap which was obscuring your vision of his face. He reached to take it off with a gloved hand and pushed his black curls back to reveal the face, of what you could only describe, a Greek god. He had strong and angular features, a sharp jawline and a beautiful slightly crooked nose which you felt the need to trace over with your finger. He had crows feet decorating his eyes, you'd assume he had them from laughing but seeing his resting facial expression, smiling almost seemed to be a foreign task to him. He brushed the remaining rain off his shoulders and made his way to the history section. When he disappeared behind a shelf you were brought back from your trance and took the first breath in what seemed like minutes. 

You wondered what he would be looking for in the history section of this old library. You were in London, a place with alot of people, then again this library was old and in a secluded part of town so it was usually the same people walking in and out. You would definitely remember his face if you had seen it before. Whatever it was that he was looking for he had apparently found since he was making his way to the register with a thick leather bound book in his glove covered hand. You had a bit of a thing for hands and you knew you'd be sketching hands for the next few hours because of this stranger. He hastily left the library and was gone as fast and suddenly as he appeared. After that day you couldn't stop drawing that pretty stranger, you'd given him multiple names during this time. His name had been Jack, Edward, Steve, Malcom and many more. you'd started just drawing his gloved hands and his forearms but quickly you would switch to drawing his intense gaze and soft curls. The amount of times you fantasised about running your fingers through them and tugging slightly had you embarrassed. It had been weeks since you'd seen him and you wouldn't stop imagining him in your apartment just sitting next to you, sometimes you would also imagine him a bit closer and wearing a little less clothing…

A month had passed since you'd seen him and you finally managed to stop drawing him and went back to drawing people around the library. Though you still looked up when the door opened and a new customer came in hoping for your handsome stranger to come in and maybe stay a little this time so you could find out more about him and his movements, for drawing references of course...nothing else. It seemed the universe wanted to help you out, because the next time the bell chimed and a customer walked in, the familiar brown flat-cap wearing stranger entered. This time it was warm and sunny outside so he wasn't wearing any gloves and wore a white fitted polo. His muscles were visibly moving underneath the fabric of his sleeves when he reached up to take off his hat and ruffle through his hair with the same intention as last time. He was also holding the same thick leather bound book from his last visit to the library.

 According to the owners he couldn't buy that one since it was rare literature, so he got to borrow it for a month...you knew this because you may have asked about him and his purchase after he left. This was also when you found out that the book he borrowed was about an Egyptian god. During your time in this library you have read books on Egyptian history and it did peak your interest. All this time you’d never even noticed that book before? Recently, you’d been spending a lot more time studying in that part of the library, so overseeing such a unique looking book was very strange of you.

You see him talking to the owners, it was quiet enough to make out parts of the conversation. It was 10am on a Tuesday so you were pretty much the only customer here. He had a pretty strong Latin accent and you were pretty sure he was from mexico. part of your family is from south America so you grew up learning Spanish and you remember hearing them speak English with that exact same accent. 

He was thanking them for the book and asking if he could take a look around the library again. The owners kindly told him to go ahead and that he didn't even need to ask. He briefly nodded his head mumbling a quick 'gracias' and went over to the history section. You watched intently and spontaneously decided to head in the same direction. You felt a bit creepy lurking on this man but you were sure you wouldn't get caught since you were rarely a very visible person. it's not that you didn't have a strong presence but you know how to blend in really well and when to use that to your advantage. You hid behind the shelf of the history section facing his profile. He really was a pretty man, his eyes were squinting and his bold eyebrows furrowed. There was a stray curl hanging over them and you badly wanted to brush it back and feel his thick hair between your fingers...you couldn't of course, since you were too preoccupied drawing him at the moment. The window was creating beautiful shadows beneath his hooded eyes and high cheekbones. His jaw looked sharper than ever and his neck extremely kissable. His lips needed an honourable mention, they were like two squishy pillows that were begging to be bitten. You've been paying special interest to them and trying to get the details just right, so you didn't notice that he had moved from his previous spot. 

You couldn't see him anywhere and were actually kind of disappointed to think he probably left. you were about to turn around and go back to your discarded belongings when you accidentally bumped into someone while moving backwards. 'ohssshit! i- i am so so sorry um- i didn't mean to wal-'

you had managed to pick up your pencil, sketchbook, and hopefully all of the scattered pages- when you finally looked up just to be faced with the god-like looking man you had been fawning over for a month now. he was practically towering over you and… was that a smirk? If you weren't already kneeling on the floor right now you would've probably lost your balance. 'hola~ I don't mind this view but do you need help standing up, muñeca?' This is when you realised that you were on your knees in front of the most attractive man you have ever seen and you quickly scrambled to your feet 'nono um thank you-' 

'Jake, my name's Jake' he stuck out his hand and you introduced yourself after thanking him again. So his name was jake...huh pretty basic for a man like him. You were kind of joking when you temporarily gave him very basic names but you guess his parents weren't much more creative than you are. 

You realised you were staring when he raised his left eyebrow and started grinning.

 'So...why were you spying on me?' He asked cockily and it had you word-vomiting all over the place 'what? i wasn't-? I-I was just…drawing-?' pretty hard to sound convincing when finishing every statement with a question mark... 'yeah I know-' he looked you up and down and coming a bit closer 'I saw you get lost in your notebook and I just had to come see what you are drawing that garnered all of your precious attention, hermosa' 

The nicknames were really starting to get to you, making you feel all sweaty and nervous. you were clenching the book to your chest accidentally pushing up your breasts and making your cleavage much more noticeable. you saw him glancing down, taking his time in bringing his eyes back up your neck and finally to your face. This entire time you were basically pressed into his chest, you were leaning on the shelf and he didn't seem like he wanted to move anytime soon 'h-how long were you looking over my shoulder exactly?'

 'Long enough to see what had you so...como se dice...transfixed' Your breath hitched and he answered with a toothy grin. 

'I am flattered, preciosa. I really am, didn't think someone as pretty as you would follow me around the library just to draw my hands and ass' 

You push him back- 'I did NOT draw your ass! I-' You were interrupted by his chuckle and him moving closer again and grabbing your chin between his fingers and caging you in with his other arm. 'I know muñeca , I just like seeing you flustered...toda nerviosilla...it's cute.' At this point you’ve decided it's best if you just don't speak. '...maybe next time you can draw me shirtless? I would love to see you solely focused on my abs for half an hour.' He flashes you a toothy grin. Oh he’s getting too cocky…somehow you manage to move away from the bookshelf, momentarily getting even closer to him. After seeing his eyes flicker with surprise you move to the side, backing away from him. Turn around finally being able to take a breath of normal air that wasn't deliciously tinted with his aftershave. 

'Sure, next time you can waltz into the library without a shirt on and we will see how far you get before being kicked out' you say while looking over your shoulder. 

 'Seeing your reaction would be worth it, nena' he called after you, not even registering your feet carrying you back to your corner. you took a deep breath replaying what just happened. He should not have this effect on you, it's almost embarrassing how easily he got so close to you. You are a grown woman, damnit! How did you not shove him away and get mad at his advances? You should be creeped out but you notice how you’re wishing to bump into him again soon...you hear the doorbell ring and see him walk out. He takes one look back and holds up a piece of paper. ‘Oh fuck me’ you feel your feet glued to the floor when you see what it is…its a drawing you made of him. It was a closeup of his torso upwards. You had drawn him from above and he was laying in your bed with heavy lidded eyes and parted lips. you were absolutely mortified- he was grinning like an idiot and winked at you before storing the drawing in his back pocket, crossing the street and vanishing from your eye-line. leaving you in the library, plagued by his stupid masculine scent and his dumb pretty face.

a/n: I really hope you enjoyed the first chapter, I've got a few already locked and loaded sooo the next one should be posted soon. Pls like and reblog if you liked it<3 it would mean the world!

part two

[strongheartneteyam]

Realize where you belong.

Pairing: neteyam sully x female!human!reader/female!dreamwalker!reader

Chapter 7

CW: a good amount of angst, reader finally is letting neteyam in and realizing how she does truly love him too, physical contact, neteyam suffering while holding back from mating w/ reader, mentions of sex, yearning, sexual language, reader and neteyam acting like a cute couple, playful flirting, reader is more vulnerable with neteyam, a lot of fluff, reader feels guilty about the way she's been treating neteyam. Tell me if I'm missing something important!

Sorry for taking long to update, my angels 🥺🤍 unfortunately I'm going through a tough path in my personal life rn and bc of that I fell on a horrible depressive episode that I'm still on. So, my motivation to do stuff is very low at the moment and as I have to deal with my adult responsibilities that I can't run from bc nobody can, rn the best I'm able to do is focus the tiny bit of energy I have onto getting them done. I won't be able to update my fanfics as fast as I used to for some time. Can't say how long, it's not under my control currently, sorry :( But I LOVE writing, it's a great escape for me, from life problems and stuff, so, I really do not plan on stop writing fanfiction. I promise! Don't worry too much. Some of the upcoming chapters of this fanfiction, for example, are already saved on my Google Docs. I'll take longer but I won't stop updating. Anyway, I'm a tiny bit (ok maybe much more than that lol) insecure about this chapter but I hope y'all like it. Seeing your comments about the fic would make me incredibly happy. I'm needing some serotonin right now 🥲 Thanks for reading my writings ♡

Not proofread. Sorry if some parts are a bit messed up. I'll proofread it as soon as I can <3

Chapter 6

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You gave me roses and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowin' my pride

Standin' in front of you sayin' I'm sorry for that night

(...)

It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you

Back to December (Taylor Swift)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You inclined yourself slowly and sheepishly in Neteyam's direction, still feeling guilty for the way you had been treating him before. Neteyam sensed your self doubt and quickly swept you off your feet, taking you inside his arms, so he could finally get the hug he had been dying for, so he could finally feel your small body against his bigger one. His big hands were now under your thighs, securing you in place against his warm body. That closeness, his touch… it all felt incredibly good. You cursed yourself for pushing him away and postponing that moment. To think you could have felt that before and you didn't… "Stupid girl" you thought.

You were now really far from the ground but you felt safe. Now you knew Neteyam would always protect you. He would not let you fall and get hurt. He was not and had never been a threat to you. There was not and there never was any reason for you to be afraid of him.

"Oeyä yawne…" (my beloved) "You feel so soft and tiny… Eywa… Nga yawne lu oer" (I love you) His voice was choked with emotion as he held back tears of joy while he hugged you as tight as he was able to - without hurting you - and you rested your head upon his shoulder. Your nose was hovering over his neck and you sniffed his skin, smelling his natural, cozy scent. It was intoxicating, drawing you in, making you wanna stay like that forever. 

You breathed in deep and relaxed inside his huge arms that held you for the first time but still strangely felt like home, like you had felt them around you a thousand times already. If you believed in past lives - which you didn't - you'd explain this odd but amazing feeling as you having found your soulmate again, in this current life. There was no fear of Neteyam inside of you anymore. You only yearned for more and more of him, only a burning affection kept your whole being warm, just like his massive body did too.

"There's still something I need to ask of you, if this is gonna work out between us." You said, breaking the hug for a while to look him in the eye

"Say it, yawne."

Neteyam was still so utterly happy that he did not even seem to be shaken by that, which he could have been

"You know why I pushed you away. First of all, finding out an alien double your size has been stalking you is freaking unnerving." You still gazed into his eyes, wanting him to pay attention to your words "Second, you acted like a creep. At least compared to the way human guys act around girls they're interested in. I don't really have any experience dating na'vi boys, you know?" You choked a little as you were trying hard to hold back laughter

"Ouch…" Neteyam playfully pretended to be extremely hurt by your previous statements. He chuckled "In my defense, I'd say my instincts are to blame, not me, exactly." You gave him a death stare, but in a playful manner too "When I saw you, I knew you would be the perfect mate for me and I had to make you mine. Everything about you rubbed me just the right way."

You smiled. He was being silly and so sweet. You just could not resist it.

"By the way, when did you see me for the first time?" 

Neteyam seemed to get shy after that question. You wondered why.

"I fell in love with you while you were in your Avatar body, yawntu. That's when I first saw you." Neteyam looked up at you again, smiling but showing no teeth

"You what?" You questioned him, a bit shocked but you could not bring yourself to be mad at him, though. Imagining him hiding behind trees and up in branches to watch you silently seemed adorable in your eyes, now. 

And yes, you knew it sounded crazy, to find someone who used to literally stalk you adorable, but nobody said that anything that was happening to you right now made any sense. Not even you would try to.

"How did I never notice you were around?" You shook your head in disapproval of your distraction back in the forest.

What if it had been a na'vi who did not trust you a single bit to even let you Dreamwalk freely, without grabbing you by the arm and taking you to the Olo'eyktan and the Tsahìk? Some na'vi hated humans to that point. And, as you always said and always would say, you had a great empathy towards them and could imagine yourself feeling the same way if you were na'vi. You could never bring yourself to judge them as harshly as way too many humans did. You knew they were not the villains of the story. But still, what if that na'vi tried to hurt you? You felt tense at the thought.

Neteyam noticed your uneasiness and tried to calm you.

"Don't worry, yawne. I'm a great warrior. A big part of being a good warrior is being really focused on one's mission and knowing how to get by as unnoticed as possible. So many other humans in their Avatars and even many, many na'vi wouldn't notice me, either."

Neteyam still wanted to call those other humans "demons in false bodies" but he was not going to. He knew it would hurt you and make you feel like he was talking about you too. But he was not. Whenever he had called you "demon", it never meant the same thing as it would mean if he was talking about any other human. But he knew it would be hard for you to understand. So he promised himself that he would never call you "demon" again. After that eclipse night when the both of you were talking in front of your bedroom window, he realized how much it hurt you when he called you that. He hated himself for bringing you pain. And his heart hurt so badly when he thought about the possibility of you pushing him away again. It made him want to hold onto your small, frail body tightly and say "Please, don't leave me! I can't be without you again… Please…"

"If you say so… I still think I should've been more careful, though." You say, still feeling a little nervous and thinking that maybe you had not been the best student when attending to your classes about na'vi behavior and that maybe you didn't pay enough attention to warnings they may have given about being mindful of your surroundings when Dreamwalking 

"I promise it's okay. It was not your fault, yawntu. I'm just good at what I do." His smile clearly showed he was proud of being a good warrior

"Ok, then." You smiled back at him and the both of you laughed a bit.

Suddenly, he stopped smiling and his gaze dropped to your lips, that were not that far from his own lips, if it wasn't for that damn oxygen mask. You felt like he wanted to kiss you. The moment was awkward but in a good way. He could not kiss you with the mask on, so, instead, he smiled at you once again and looked down at the floor, bashful.

You touched his huge, gorgeous face and he looked up at you again "So, about what we were talking about before… Just try to be a little less… upfront about what you feel for me. I mean… sexually. I love that you want me this much because I want you too, Neteyam. A lot, actually. You're… really freaking hot." He smiled, blissful, and his cat-like eyes sparkled as he heard that, his ears perking up. "But you're a bit too much, at times. If you could just tone it down a bit…" Neteyam looked a little ashamed and insecure, so, you rubbed your thumb on his soft skin, to reassure him you still longed for him too "At least while I get used to your na'vi nature, it would be great. Please, try to understand me… It's a whole new world I'm just now discovering. But it doesn't mean I don't love you and don't want you and it doesn't mean you should feel insecure." You smiled gently, showing no teeth. 

Neteyam looked a bit sad again after you finished your sentence and you totally understood why. In his na'vi mind, you were practically rejecting him. That was who he truly was, animalistic and a bit too much to your human standards. He must feel like who he is was not enough or good in your eyes.

"Hey" You cupped his face again "I wanna do something. Just let me take this mask off, first." You wanted to reassure Neteyam of your feelings for him by giving him a kiss.

"Yawne, no! You can't breathe without it. You could die really fast! I'm not gonna let you do it."

"So you don't want a kiss, Neteyam Suli? I thought you'd want it, judging by the way you have been stalking me and by our interaction that night, outside my bedroom's window." You teased him and his face lit up

Neteyam gave you an excited smile. The way his full lips curled up as he quickly pondered about the pros and cons of your offer was so beautiful, almost hypnotizing.

God, you really were in love with that na'vi boy, weren't you? There's no going back now. He's holding your heart in his big, weird but cute, alien hands.

"I guess if we make it quick-"

"Shut up, Neteyam." You interrupted, chuckling playfully "I know you're dying to feel my lips on yours. Just help me take this mask off already." It was a bit hard for you to take the mask off while holding onto his shoulders. You knew he would not let you fall but still you wanted to still feel a bit of control and keep holding onto him too.

Neteyam got surprised by your boldness, since he did not see it coming, and he could only think about how freaking amazing it would feel to finally taste your lips, so, he did as you asked - leaving the mask hanging on your neck by the strap it had - and you rapidly held his big pretty, blue face, brought your lips to his and placed the most tender of kisses there, pressing your mouth against his mouth softly but with so much care, trying to let him feel how much you desired him too. His lips were velvety, warm and so incredibly good to kiss. God, you did not care that you were risking dying from lack of oxygen. You wanted that alien boy so badly.

Neteyam's still tense demeanor soon turned into a calmer one as he kissed you back. His hold on you got tighter as he felt your sweet soft lips on his. He felt so incredibly hungry for you. How could he not be? Your kiss was the most delicious thing he had ever felt in his whole life. You both shared saliva and wet each other's lips with each time your lips parted only slightly and came together again. Your soft skin made him want to squeeze you and never let you go again. Neteyam wanted to cuddle with you, wanted to wrap his tail around your small body in a possessive way to let you know you're his and that he would take care of you, hunt food to feed you and protect you from anything that could ever hurt you.

It was getting harder and harder for him not to lay you on the ground and press his body against your tiny one and make love to you right there but he knew that, thinking rationally, that was not a good idea at all, as the both of you were just outside a laboratory full of humans and you two could easily get caught and be in danger.

Even though Neteyam craved your body insanely, now even more than before, as he was finally feeling you close and tasting your lips, he was trying to take it as slow and gentle as he could because he wanted to respect your limits instead of scaring you away again. He understood you were human and your race acted in a very different way when it came to relationships. He still thought it to be a dumb way to lead things but it was you who was asking him to act differently and he loved you with his whole being. He could not bring himself to say "no" to that request. He knew it would be temporary and you soon would give into the na'vi that lives inside of you when it came to mating too. For you, Neteyam could wait. He knew things would soon change for the better. You were now in his arms, as the two of you kissed. You were no longer afraid of him. That was everything he needed at that moment. Things were already so much better.

Neteyam noticed you were having more and more trouble breathing, so he got worried and quickly put your oxygen mask back on.

You gasped for air and breathed in so much oxygen once you had your mask on that it might have been funny to watch, though Neteyam did not laugh. On the contrary, he seemed way too serious, way too worried about your safety. You wanted him to relax a bit.

"See how much I love you? I risked dying just to give you a kiss." You tried to speak normally but what came out of your mouth was a hoarse whisper instead, as your lungs were still in need of more air. A weak smile was adorning your lips as you struggled but still managed to let out a frail chuckle

"Don't say that, oeyä tawtute, please." Neteyam told you, trying to stay serious but still letting out a chuckle as well

"See the sacrifices I make for you, Neteyam?" You tried to seem mad at him at the beginning, only to start laughing shortly after, now that you finally had enough oxygen in your system to be able to let out an actual laugh, even if it still sounded weaker than your laughing would sound in another situation

He smiled big and teased you "Skxawng." (moron)

"But you love me." You closed your eyes while smiling, full of yourself

"I do." You opened your eyes to look at his face "More than you think, yawntu."

Your heartbeat accelerated intensely and you blushed. Neteyam found your blushed cheeks adorable. He looked at you so intensely, like he was holding the most precious thing in the world in his arms.

Neteyam knew he had just fallen even harder for you now that you both had kissed. He could not wait until he could be alone with you in a safe place and get to explore your body with his hands and kiss you all over. He almost got hard just thinking about that but he tried his hardest to whoosh that away. Neteyam was scared that feeling his bulge would be too much for you at that moment, specially since he knew he was much bigger than the human males you were used to. You might feel uncomfortable because of that difference and the sudden intimate feeling of his hard big cock against you and want to get out of his arms. Neteyam did not want that to happen. He needed you there a bit more, he was not ready to let you stand on your feet yet. And he was so afraid of you not wanting him close anymore, he was so afraid of perhaps ruining what you both had now. It was far too special for him. He could not let his sexual instincts ruin that. The time would come when you would let him in completely, when you would grant him permission to be inside of you and show you how much he craved your pussy, how much you messed with his head and awakened his most intense desires. Until then, he would wait and take baby steps. For you, he was capable of waiting for ages, though he hoped so strongly it would not take long.

༊⁀➷

Taglist:

@kitsunefirewail

@tumblingdevils

@a-blog-name-2003

@xylobee

@nerdybouquetofkittens-blog

@henhouse-horrors

@lala-1516

@xylianasblog

@samistars

@crazy4books1

@explosiongamora

@lik0

@your-girl-mj

@darktyrantwinner

@sereisstuff

@yeosxxx

@die4niyahhh

@iman-lu

@manumanulau

@im-in-a-pansexual-panik

@hana-yuri

@thehoneymushroomhealer

@melllinaa

@annaibansworld

@siriuslysmoking

@avatar4eva

@ellabellabus07

@badbishsblog

@neteyamsmate4life

@c-h-i-l

@criticallybella

@celi-xxmoon

[mama-qwerty]

Thinking about Dread again.

Was going through my saved images and came across these, from the third season.

My deranged beloved has become a sad little meow meow.

So pensive. So frustrated. So defeated.

(My favorite image of him in this scene. I love that pose, it's so natural and conveys so much about his mental and emotional state.)

I still think the way they handled his 'redemption' completely missed the mark, and could have been done much better had they planted a few seeds to begin with. But the pacing of the whole series felt so odd, and I wonder if they had something different planned before Netflix (possibly) cut their time shorter.

(For the record, I think that's part of the problem with the Knuckles series. It felt like there should have been more in that, but Paramount told them they only had 6 eps to do what they wanted in 12.)

But Dread? My beloved little gremlin of a pirate? Oh, he had so much potential. He could have been this wild card, this character who continued to be him despite everything, who was so anti-Knuckles it was entertaining and fun and just a joy to watch him have so much fun being a bastard.

I get that they couldn't keep a Knuckles as an absolute asshole, but watching this delightful character go from this

To this

without seeing anything in between was jarring. The last we saw of Dread before season 3 started was him fighting with Ren as Sonic and Nine took the shards away. He was enraged to have lost his Beauty. Again. We have no idea what happened after that, but this descent into depression seemed sudden and out of character.

But considering how he behaved after his first loss of the shard (when he lost his first ship and crew), maybe this isn't that much of a stretch. He ran before, jumping nose first into denial, and tried to cover his feelings of defeat by being a party pirate. Now his Beauty is lost once again, and he's in a strange city, on another planet (in another universe!) and has made himself at odds with the people there. (With his other him.) He couldn't even contact his crew because he'd turned on them before leaving.

So here's Dread, completely out of his element, the one thing he'd lusted after his entire life gone. It would figure that he'd maybe have a bit of Ren's depressive state, and fall into a "What's the point? What I want always seems to be just out of reach. I'll never have my one true desire." mindset.

And maybe, since the shards were all gone, he's feeling some kind of mental shift. I've theorized that the shard's energy was what made Dread so batshit, and now that it's gone, maybe he's starting to think a little more clearly than he'd ever done before. Instead of that drive to "FIND HAVE KEEP" that gem, he's feeling like a failure for not being able to fulfill that quest. That duty. Because maybe to him, it didn't feel like the normal greed of pirate plunder, the urge to just take and steal and collect as much booty as possible. Maybe to him, because he's a Knuckles and they're hard wired to protect, it was something more personal.

That shard, according to his instincts, was his to protect. And now that it's gone, he's a failure and feels empty. He's coming down off that energy, the inexplicable hold the shard held over him, and is essentially going through a withdrawal of sorts, and dealing with the possibly conflicting emotions it dredged up.

There was so much potential for him. And the writers wasted it, by having him simply join in on the attack on Nine without examining his (very likely) ulterior motives. I don't like that they used that Jack character to draw Dread's selfish desires back out - those should have still been there! The whole agreement to join in should have been a plot to simply get him near his Beauty so he could pull a double cross.

This made it seem like Dread didn't even think about his Beauty during the whole battle. WHAT?? Being near it should have made him almost feral with the want to get to it. I would have loved to have seen him be another obstacle to the shard, so the heroes didn't only have to deal with Nine and his endless army of bots, but also this deranged pirate who was overcome with treasure lust.

Missed opportunity.

Ah well.

Just lookit this handsome bastard.

My beloved. Dread is possibly my absolutely favorite variant of Knuckles. I just love him.

[lady-byleth]

A thing that strikes me every time I watch Ace of Diamond is how Miyuki is both an extremely insightful and caring person but at the same time too socially awkward to make use of that

Like, yes, he's an absolute raccoon and gremlin but he plays that up so hard that most people around him think that that's all he is. Which couldn't be further from the truth.

While he's extremely bad at reading people in general and doesn't really understand emotions he is observant enough to recognise behavioral patterns and connect them to what he knows of people's personalities and experiences to draw correct conclusions. And that kind of observation and analysis is not possible if you don't care deeply

And while he will absolutely use this ability for his own amusement he typically utilises it simply to compensate for his own shortcomings in interpersonal relationships. He doesn't know how to comfort or motivate so he redirects instead.

His constant needling, annoying and insulting is his way of channeling his pitchers' nervous energy into their frustration with him and that way they focus on shutting him up instead of worrying about the situation.

But when he notices an actual problem that behaviour disappears immediately and he notifies someone else who can deal with it better.

He was the first to realise Furuya's slacking off was fatigue exacerbated by the summer heat and instantly connected it to having moved to Tokyo from Hokkaido only recently.

He was also the first to recognise Sawamura's crumbling performance as yips and instantly isolated the cause for it too.

But the next step would be seeking conversation and working on a solution, which involves addressing emotions, and that's where he freezes up every time. Because emotions and understanding them as well as seeing what's written between the lines is Kuramochi's thing, not Miyuki's. So he relegates to the coach or Chris instead.

You can also see that he always knows when his usual tactic of pissing someone off won't work and that he always tries to find another way when relegating isn't possible. But because dealing with emotions is his greatest weakness it always ends up either super awkward or straight up backfiring

Even his fight with Zono stemmed from Miyuki being too socially awkward to even remotely understand why Nabe came to him in the first place. It takes Kuramochi pointing out that someone who wanted to quit wouldn't make such an effort taking notes for him to realize he missed something again. And it's that part that makes him the most upset, not Zono arguing with him. And him being upset with himself make the fight only get worse because being as emotionally challenged as he is he doesn't know how to back down either

He's been fully aware of and bothered by this even before the start of the series so his answer was to remove his own brain to mouth filter instead...until this was no longer an option.

When he becomes captain it's suddenly not just about him and the pitchers anymore but the entire team that's looking to him for guidance and his own shortcomings end up affecting everyone

So he starts making the effort to be more open and understanding, tries to connect with the team on a different level and not always rely on his sharp tongue.

And going back from Act 2 to the start of the series you can really see what an emotional journey this all is for him and how much he grows with it. Because first he allows himself to care so much that he puts his own health at risk for the team until he learns to balance this deep caring with his responsibility as captain and becomes the reliable pillar of strength that keeps Seido going straight while Sawamura takes on the role of emotional center

Of course, he's not even close to being done growing and he still messes up but hey, he's only 17 years old by Act 2 and the growth he undergoes in just that one year we experience with him is already impressive

Anyway, this sports manga/anime has better character development than most media that claim to be "character driven" and I'm in love with it

[kafus]

OKAY i can follow up my previous platinum post now. i haven't actually fought the gym in veilstone yet nor have i done the team galactic building stuff but there's so much flavor text already from the little that is able to be explored

it's pretty fucked that galactic has been able to set up shop or whatever in so many places because of this lie about finding a new source of energy. like okay while not entirely untrue the public does have the right to be suspicious about it. especially considering uhh

the contrast of these guys saying pretty much the complete opposite of the noble New Energy message. people criticize sinnoh a lot for team galactic not making a whole lot of sense and while i don't think sinnoh is a masterclass in storytelling or anything, i don't think people give it enough credit for it using this contrast to its advantage. i don't think the difference in this dialogue is because team galactic is confused or anything, it's their public facing front vs the truth of their motives. it's very heavyhanded but it's trying to sell this concept to children, so sdfjksd

oh and this gift porygon is entirely optional and able to be missed if you don't walk into this unassuming building with a couple NPCs, but it turns out it's a runaway from team galactic. it's not like pokemon hasn't used pokemon as a storytelling device before, team rocket was literally selling these guys mass produced at the game corner in kanto, but it's a lot more subtle here. the team galactic symbol is in the slot machine reels, and someone just found a random escapee porygon presumably around veilstone city. it's definitely drawing parallels to the Evil Deeds:tm: of team rocket that came before them and implies that they're probably doing more than JUST researching new energy...

oh yes and the constant reminders that dawn (or lucas, but i always play as dawn) is a child. of course the protags in the mainline pokemon games have always been children but it's especially striking in sinnoh. sinnoh's story has some of the highest stakes out of any pokemon games, and yet the protagonist is still a little kid, confirmed by the NPCs. it's more unnerving here.

like a child putting an end to a crime syndicate or a child stopping a natural disaster by summoning a sky god is one thing, but in sinnoh dawn steps into Pokemon Hell and catches Pokemon Satan in the palm of her hands and walks back out. perhaps i'm being a bit overdramatic but as a traumatized person who used sinnoh to cope as a child it's very interesting to me that dawn is hypothetically, arguably, the most traumatized pokemon protagonist. god damn she goes through some shit. these reminders are just disconcerting to me in a way they are not in other pokemon games. though maybe that's my bias speaking a bit too loud lol

ANYWAY now i gotta decide if i wanna grind out getting spiritomb with two ds consoles (or three?? i think i have enough files for that) or if i wanna sit in the game corner for a while to grind out coins for some TMs because i feel like doing one of the two HMM

[a-s-levynn]

Also just to make sure this is clear, me tagging you in the sleep token in an arcade game post was in no way meant to put pressure on you! Just thought you might enjoy the idea :) it's a busy time but if you ever sit down in the future and have energy and motivation to draw but no inspiration maybe you'll think back on it :D

Now I gotta go to work but in any case I am very glad i was reminded of my beloved tiny token this way cause I missed so many fantastic little drawings!!!

Love them and you and your art endlessly 💜 have a fantastic day and a good weekend soon 🖤💜

Oh no, don't worry about it! It's just me and my inner need to do stuff i find fun but also the knowledge that i probably won't be able to deliver on it being an unstoppable force and an immovable object kinda scenario.

You have no idea how much i want go "YES GIMME AN HOUR" and just do it, but like i know that i'll put of a string of other stuff that would bite me in the butt later. But putting the drawing off means there is a chance i either forget it or may even loose interest in the idea. Which makes me frustrated. But all this is just an internal thing and it is not an issue or anything.

I love when ya'll bring ideas to me because duh, it means you enjoy what i do which for my sad little soul is sustenance. And i just hate to disappoint when i can't take it on or take me ages. I know that it is not fully on me, when i genuinly have thing out of my control that stop me, but still. I'm just sad i cannot draw everyone all the thing they'd like, which is already an impossible thing but you know.

Anyway i am rambling again. But don't worry, i know there was no intention of putting pressure on me. I probably phrased my answer poorly but half of it was self discipline. To stop myself from literally drop cooking in the middle of it and just sit down and draw, because that is far more interesting than cooking.

But the post is saved among my 753 drafts so one day i going to get to it i just cannot promise on when. But i also want to see it realized so i hope someone does it soon ヾ(｡✪ω✪｡)ｼ

[happiness-of-the-pursuit]

Weekend WIP Game

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more).

Thanks to @kiwiana-writes @daisymae-12 @myheartalivewrites @hgejfmw-hgejhsf for the tag!

1. WIP List: (Bolded have words, the others are just on the list)

Super Six and the Siren's Call (PJO AU)

Claremont 2008

Baby's First Pride

Daddy Issues (father storylines swapped, snippet linked)

AU of Someone's Fic (this is vague on purpose lol)

Grey's Prequel

RWRB Trans Alex Gender Rewrite

Amtrak Meet-Cute

Alex Gymnast AU

Threesgiving

F1 AU

Alex (and somewhat Henry) Experiences Quintessential Queer Things For the First Time

Honestly I feel like I'm missing some but this is a lot lol.

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest? Super Six and the Siren's Call, we have over 48,000 words written

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest? Also Super Six and the Siren's Call, it's gonna be a Book

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why? Super Six and the Siren's Call is great because co-writing really keeps me motivated and focused even when I'm starting to lose energy! I also really enjoyed writing the Alex Chapter of Daddy Issues (I only have two chapters written lol)

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why? The AU of Someone Else's Fic-I had an idea I just needed to get down but I haven't talked to that author about it yet so sometimes I add to it when inspired but it's hard to make forward progress when I don't know if it'll ever go anywhere or just live in google docs forever

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why? Same answer as above, I just feel weird even though it would be doing something different from their fic I just get nervous about stepping on toes.

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why? I mean I want a beta for all of them ideally, but for Daddy Issues it's 1) hefty and deals with MCD, and 2) I haven't written a lot/really any smut but I believe it will have some lol

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block? Baby's First Pride I'm sorry to all the fans, I promise I will get back to it. I just haven't felt inspired and don't want to half-ass it.

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them? Daddy Issues I got to create the whole Díaz side of the family which is super fun. I'm white, but I have extended family from South America who I've spent time with and I'm drawing on those experiences a lot.

10. Which WIP is the sexiest? Threesgiving even though @affectionatelyrs and I only have vague ideas

11. Which WIP is the angstiest? Daddy Issues, we're dealing with MCD, divorce, mental health issues. Also Chapter 5 of Claremont 2008 is gonna have canon MCD but it'll still be angsty, though I think less angsty than canon?

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)? I don't think any of them is much better than the others, but I do love our characterization in Super Six and the Siren's Call. I also had a lot of fun playing with younger Alex and Henry in Daddy Issues and Claremont 2008.

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)? Again probably Super Six and the Siren's Call because this is not my strength but @inexplicablymine is great at this.

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on? I mean, one is 48,000 words and the next one is 17,000. So.

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why? Not to beat a dead horse but....we have plans for Super Six and the Siren's Call. However individually either Grey's or Daddy Issues. People seem to love the snippets for the second one which is making me really excited.

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs? Once in a while? Ironically I dreamed about @inexplicablymine's WIP the other night which is hilarious to me.

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't? As of this exact moment Claremont 2008 has a lot of epistolary pieces that I really love that are not in other WIPs, and I have been using skins and html coding on texts which has been a game changed imo. Also one of my WIPs has a lot of POVs, some I've never written before.

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour? The Super Six and the Siren's Call not to toot my own horn but I feel like I've really been able to nail Rick's brand of sarcasm, @read-and-write- and @inexplicablymine too.

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process? Yes, and I wrote Nora's POV recently and it really just flowed out of me, I was super surprised by how easily writing her came to me.

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs. For the AU of Someone Else's Fic Henry and Alex meet right after Alex's bisexual awakening, and then Alex blows Henry off because he's just found out he's gonna be a father.

Here's a tag per WIP, sorry if I missed someone's that already did this (no pressure also)! @heybuddy-drabbles @affectionatelyrs @littlemisskittentoes @inexplicablymine @read-and-write- @14carrotghoul @sherryvalli @hypnostheory @mainstreamelectricalparade @suseagull04 @user-anakin @tintagel-or-cockleshells @gay-flyboys

[itsbowbi]

tagged by @penglue

Are you named after anyone?

A saint I think. Or my parents just liked the name and came up with that reason after.

When was the last time you cried?

I cry a lot I think I cried watching the new Godzilla movie because I'm easy and a sucker. Like CRIED cried? I think my birthday but it was actually a pretty great night.

Do you have kids?

Hell no.

What sports do you play?

None. Too busy and tired. Been thinking about finding a baseball league or something to play in because I miss it. I was a terrible hitter tho. I'm in better shape now and I learned about my fucked up eyeballs so maybe I'd be better.

Do you use sarcasm?

I don't think so. I have a very cynical sense of humor but sarcasm to me just comes off as being mean. Pretty sure I avoid it almost always.

What’s the first thing you notice about someone?

Looks? I mean literally first thing I notice is what they look like. And yeah I usually decide if I think they're hot right then but that doesn't change much about how I treat them. Otherwise just general vibes I guess. Sense of humor, manners, etc. Ooh I guess I really notice if someone is being at all superior or condescending. I fucking hate that immediately.

Eye colour?

Baby blues.

Scary movies or happy endings?

I like both, but I definitely watch horror movies more often. I think it's funny when movies get the super happy ending like Wayne's World, which seems to be happening more and more often in the movies I watch. I do think I've been avoiding dramas because they can be draining to watch and I don't feel like putting myself through that sitting here alone in my room. And bad horror movies are easily the best thing to watch with friends.

Any talents?

I'm very good at guessing people's middle name. Also I have insane memory when it comes to movies. You can name like one small detail about a movie you can't quite remember and I can probably name it. Good at trivia too.

Where were you born?

Bay Area. Zero memory of California since we left when I was a baby.

Hobbies?

Uuggghhh this is where I really start to feel like a nolife degen. Video games mostly. I'm decent at overwatch. Have a quitar but haven't had the energy or motivation to practice in a while. I really want to pick it up again. Just got an iPad with the stylus so that's been fun getting back into art. People say I can draw good so that's cool. Also I technically got my first commission since my buddy gave me $10 to recreate a doodle I made for him at work in a full piece because he loves it so much. Gotta get around to that soon.

Any pets?

My leopard gecko Heybaby! I love her. Also my mom has 2 cats that I still consider mine and I love visiting them. Yoyo and Mimi.

Height?

6'

Favourite school subject?

I guess history. I think history has better stories in it than any fiction so I love reading about it and listening to audiobooks and podcasts. Chose that as my major in college since I didn't know what to do with my life and it was the one subject I was able to tolerate. That was a very bad decision and I honestly should've never gone to college or just gone to a community college while I figured out what to actually do. Still waiting on that last part.

Dream job?

I really don't have a realistic one. I have hated every job I've ever had and any work that was assigned to me in school or therapy or whatever instantly made me hate it. I have crazy fantasies about what I could still do with my life but most of them involve doing little to no actual work. Like being a streamer. But I guess I'll go with what I would've said 20 years ago and say baseball player or rock star.

GET TAGGED @conkedcrete @spylarman (or don't sorry to bother u)

[alltheotherblogs]

So, Regular Show.

Apparently it's getting some kind of pseudo-reboot. A new series tacked onto the ending of the last with some returns from previously featured characters. This is not necessarily bad news! But, the reasons for fans being skeptical are obvious.

One of the most important examples of a good idea gone sour is... Adventure Time. It doesn't take a genius writer to see that they blatantly disrespected the themes they started with. I had a chance to analyze, and criticize the series from a new and fresh perspective. And so as I jumped into it for the last time, I quickly used an analytical eye to spot the things I had missed as a child. One of these things was Princess Bubblegum. Coming from an abusive background, I can spot abusive behaviors the moment I see them. And P.B. is textbook. The various ways she manipulates the Candy people, the main cast, and Finn himself... It's scary familiar to a lot of the controlling tactics used by abusive parents. I don't have any specific examples and if I'm gonna be honest I don't desire to find any. But one thing that always comes to mind is how she attempts to manipulate the Flame people using these same tactics, and it fails... This is where an inconsistency pops up in the writing, Flame Princess and Marceline have similar father figures with similar motivations for how they operate and their family dynamic. The main difference I want to call attention to here is that Flame Princess didn't just overcome it but decided to rise to the occasion and take over the Kingdom. Marceline distanced herself from her origins as much as possible... I think you can see where I am going here. Where Marceline comes to accept her father, it only happens after he changes. I don't really think Flame Princess ever accepted her father. And so when Flame Princess sees P.B. blatantly stealing, and attempting to trick her and her subjects, she gets pretty reasonably angry. A manipulative woman pulls up into your abode under false pretenses and tricks you and everyone else so that she can get her sticky grubby fingers onto some SERIOUS ancient tech. Acting like someone as tyrannical as P.B. is anymore trust worthy with it than anyone else is delusional.

From here it's not very hard to draw a comparison to real world behavior. For once you have a character that is reacting reasonably to something instead of being absurd. And then you have the last episode where Marceline just magically, for no reason and with very little buildup, just falls into P.B's arms like some sick individual with a different KIND of authority issue. Marceline has an issue with authority not an issue without it. Even in the very first episode, this is how P.B. is setup. An authoritarian with a very skewed moral compass. The fact that she is completely different by the end of the series yet lacks any real character development and still commits the same sins she did at the beginning, it isn't some clever subversion or smart multilayered writing... It's just bad writing. That is why I get so mad whenever people say "oh you are just bigoted that's why you don't like it." If you are one of those people who unironically thought THAT was the reason the ending didn't go over well, you are more stupid than your teachers and parents thought. It wasn't hard to notice that they just inserted a relationship between two incompatible characters right at the moment the rest of the shows writing began to suffer.

Haven't finished J.G. Quintel's other show, "Close Enough" but I'm working on it. And it has good parts, which makes me confident this new show will have a good energy and a positive impact on the series as a whole. Since it'll serve as a sequel rather than a reboot, we have a lot to look forward too in terms of new characters and unique dynamics.

Regardless, the history of this kind of thing cannot be ignored. In recent cinema everything is getting a crappy reboot. It's gonna take a few times before they learn, what made the old thing work was not that it was the old thing, but how it was the old thing. You get what I mean?

People don't like same shit different wrapping. They like same wrapping different shit. They want to see skillful talented writing. They don't want cringey politically motivated garbage and marvel-quality one-liners. They want actual comedy, they want in-world belief systems to help the characters play off each other. They want creativity and a well built world. Not Helluva Boss, not Hazbin Hotel, neither of those cringey politically driven shows with TERRIBLE writing. People want the first five seasons of Adventure Time! They want Golden Era KOTH! they want good comedy delivered without pretentious snark... While it isn't HARD to do this, with studios breathing down peoples necks, and the people who give orders being corrupt scumbags with what I like to call "Wrong Beliefs" it is super difficult to actually make something good. But, Smiling Friends did it, Adult Swim continues to produce quality, Newgrounds continues to let loose incredible people, and talent always rises to the top regardless of what corruption is going on in the western media. It takes some time for these mega corporations to fall, but sure enough, hollywood is failing as everyone predicted. The games industry is failing, as everyone predicted. What happens when Hollywood and the Games industry fail? Indie creators come up to bat. Not all of them are going to hit it out of the park, but strike while the irons hot, and you just might see sparks.

What I'm trying to say is, just don't fuck it up J.G.

[torialefay]

Your reading about Chan is something extraordinary! Even knowing that the birth time is still missing, it all makes so much sense that it's incredible. But honestly, the sequel about his first time with a girlfriend left me a little suffocated - he's so intense that I felt breathless and, I guess, a little scared, afraid. I don't know much about the zodiac, but the little I do know, should I blame this feeling on my Venus in Aquarius? I was very curious about how our compatibility would be, especially because he is my bias... Which leads me to ask you:

Could you check the compatibility of our charts? I have a Pisces sun, Leo rising and Sagittarius moon. As I said before, my Venus is in Aquarius and if I'm not mistaken, my Mars is in Aries (when I read about his Mars being a fire sign I already realized that a fight between us would be very ugly). I share my birthday with Hyunjin, actually (3/20/98... a little old, I know).

Anyway, I would like to thank you very much for sharing your knowledge on the subject.

I hope you have a great day! 🤍🤎✨

hello there little pisces baby (me too hehe): first of all, you are not old 😭 literally not even a year older than me. also you are literally the cutest

i used this first inbox instead of the second one you sent me bc i think your name was in the other one! didn’t want to put it out there just in case <3

alright, let’s do this thang :)

Leo Ascendant (1st house):

Your Leo ascendant is a great match for Chan! Having a Leo ascendant, it is likely that living in authenticity is important to you. You are good at making other people feel special. Even if you can’t see it yourself, you have a natural talent for making others like you. This can either manifest in a way of being extroverted or introverted. If extroverted, people are usually naturally drawn to you. If introverted, people are still more than likely drawn to you in a way that they are more curious of you than anything. Sometimes Leo ascendants can get a bad rep for valuing attention, but I don’t necessarily think that way. Leo risings like the feeling of being valued and understood more than anything- this usually just manifests as receiving attention in who they are as a person. This is almost always reciprocated by the Leo Ascendant, always looking for the things that make individuals unique and playing that up to make them feel loved. Leo Ascendants usually believe that each person has a special calling in life, and their goal is always to find their own and let that shine.

With Chan’s Gemini ascendant, this is a great combo! It’s a combo that initially draws a lot of attention to one another. You can both play off of each other’s interests in people and quickly get to know a lot about one another. The way I see this manifesting in your relationship is coming off as the couple who is friends with literally everyone. Even if you didn’t have a picture perfect relationship, this is how it would seem on the outside.

Sun in Pisces in 8th house:

Your Sun in Pisces in the 8th house is such a powerful placement!

With your Sun in Pisces, it is likely that your friends would describe you as someone who is truly caring of others, is a peacemaker, and someone who can get lost in their own world from time to time. This can sometimes manifest in negative ways though, forgetting to reply to messages or emails, or even having trouble with procrastination. HOWEVER, being in the 8th house is an awesome combo with Pisces! The 8th house rules rebirth and transformation. Bringing a Piscean, watery, dreamy energy into that is super motivational for change. It is likely that you have a lot of big ideas and are deeply aware of who you are at your core. You are deeeeply empathetic. You could be focused on things such as self-improvement, the arts, music as an emotional outlet, and more alternative mediums like astrology, tarot, wicca, etc. You probably have some form of femininity about you, which can manifest in either dreamy-ish elements OR alternative/quirky elements. You love different forms of self expression.

This is a good match with Chan’s Sun in Libra. You would encourage him to find himself for who he truly is and he would support you in all of your big ideas. He could also help some of these ideas come to life. You would most definitely bring out a softer side to him that would make him feel well-rounded and loved. There would definitely be a subtle sweetness as an overtone to your relationship.

Moon in Sagittarius in 5th house:

I think this matches the rest of your chart well. Moon in Sag in 5th house means you have a DEEP need on an emotional level to experience self-expression and creativity with complete freedom. You value that for others as well. You probably dream of traveling or going on large scale adventures. You feel best when you have freedom to explore all of your interests. You value hearing others’ opinions and are super open-minded, liking to be challenged to think about things in other perspectives.

I think this is a pretty good match for Chan’s Moon in Libra. You would be very encouraging, yet again, of him to find himself and what HE truly wants. Not what he thinks other people want for him. You are able to give him freedom to develop who he needs to be. I could see this as a very spiritually-healing relationship for him. He would help you feel valued in everyday life and always support your dreams.

Mercury and Mars in Aries in the 9th house:

Although you have a Pisces Sun, your Mercury and Mars indicate to me that you can be very honest in what you want or what you want to say. However, with the Piscean personality trait, I feel like you’ve found a way to channel honesty into a way that it won’t really hurt other people. Again, there IS a gentle nature to you, so I see it very unlikely that you would just explode on someone right off the bat. It is a lot more likely that when in an argument, it would take a lot of repetition or a large buildup of things that go against your values to make you boil over. When you get mad, you can definitely get mad. With that Mercury in Aries as well, it’s likely that you could also say some harsh things that you’ve been thinking (now without a filter) when in a fight. I’m not gonna lie, fights with Chan would get way way explosive. May even end up in needing time apart if you’re not careful. These fights would typically stem from differences in beliefs or philosophy… I DO think though that since both of your sun signs are passive, you could eventually be able to understand the other person and need to reconcile deeply with each other to feel comfortable to return back to the relationship. It would take time though.

Aquarius in Venus in the 7th house:

The 7th house is the ruler of romantic and platonic relationships. Venus is also the ruler of the 7th house, so this will be a prominent part of your life! Aquarius in Venus tends to act on love from a level that is more cerebral- they need to know that the relationship they would be entering makes sense. This manifests in the fact that many Aq in Venus will want to be FRIENDS first, before considering a romantic relationship. They need to know that their partner will be intelligent and funny, someone who can mentally stimulate them and be unique. So Aquarius relationships can definitely be a slowww burn. They can also be nontraditional a lot of times in the sense of maybe not necessarily feeling the need to get married or other social “taboos” (which are changing tho so that’s good). In the bedroom, Aqs HAVE TO find someone who they feel is truly their match to feel comfortable with sexually. Like I’ve said, Aquarians are unique- they like what they like. This isn’t to say that they aren’t adventurous in the bedroom, but rather that they have certain interests that they just do or do not want to try. One big problem that could happen with Chan’s Venus in Scorpio is how possessive/obsessive he could tend to feel over you. Many Aqs in Venus do not want to feel like they are being told what to do or that they don’t have the freedom to do as they please. It can feel almost suffocating in a way. It can honestly cause them to shut down sometimes, getting too overwhelmed with something they never asked for. If there was a relationship with Chan, sexual boundaries would need to be established early on. If not, you could each find yourself in a relationship where you were super into each other in all other aspects than this one. You would definitely have to reach a level of compromise. I could see you having slightly the upper hand in this, Aq being a cardinal sign. Chan would still need the super deep, emotional aspects involved in your love life, but I do think there are ways around how he could obtain it and how often it would be integrated into the bedroom.

[sumire-no-nikki]

Halfway Through August

Summer is in full swing and I am ready for it to be over. It has been a weird couple of weeks with the temperature dipping to 15C before soaring right back up to 30C. I feel the heat sap my energy. I move so sluggishly these days.

What has made the past couple of weeks bearable is great coffee. This month’s beans are from 19grams which I had tried before but I was still quite new to taking coffee seriously then and perhaps had not done it justice. So this time, equipped with a better grinder and coffee making skills, I found the beans quite a treat. Spring Bloom, the filter blend, is quite an understated flavour profile but very refreshing. I have brewed it via V60, Aeropress and a french press and I think I like it best as a cup of V60. Blends are quite a hit or miss for me but this one was alright. The single origin espresso beans though was incredible. Don Martin is a burst of cherry in my mouth. I'm really enjoying it. I also recently tried extracting my espresso over a frozen ball for the first time referred to as "compound chilling." It is a technique employed by World Barista competitor, Hugh Kelly a couple of years ago. And I know, I know! As if rdt, wdt, and a puck screen aren't enough complications, I have now added another superfluous step to my morning coffee. I know it's excessive but hear me out! It does have a significant impact on the espresso and far from being just a gimmick, there's a science to it. Apparently the sudden and drastic change in temperature locks the flavor compounds in the espresso, leaving the espresso sweeter than it would have been if extracted normally. I tested this myself and I can confirm that the result is a lot sweeter, almost milky. I couldn't exactly pinpoint it at first but after a couple of cups I think this is because it completely eradicates acidity. Ah, it is always fun discovering new ways to appreciate coffee!

In other news, I have been spending considerable time getting as much preparation work done. I have a list of goals this month that require some trial-and-error, some testing. I must admit that not a small part of the motivation behind the necessity of a "preparation stage" is hinging on my persistent perfectionism. I cannot stand to see the end product of my efforts to be “ugly,” whatever arbitrary standard that might be. And if I'm really being honest, if the result is less than perfect, then I struggle to really find the point in doing it at all. In my defence, this is because I am very much a "prevention is better than cure" type of person. If I can prevent issues, quirks, flaws, then why not optimise the process to produce the best possible end? I suppose it's a balancing act. I must make sure not to get caught up in my pursuit of efficiency that I fail to complete anything at all. But I should also lean on my planning expertise to ensure that I am encouraged and motivated by the path ahead. 

Whenever I am able to take breaks from work and individual projects, I spend my time organising. This week in particular, I went through my small vinyl collection and sifted out the records I don't regularly play. I had recently ordered a handful of new records and I needed to make room for them. So I plucked out around ten records and listened to all of them, keeping the music that still spoke to me and set aside the ones that no longer draw me in. The one in the photo is a stunning copy of girl in red's first album, a UO exclusive pressing. Side A is black on white and side B is white on black. It reminds me of a spider web somehow. I never really got around to listening to the music but I liked girl in red's first two EPs so I purchased it last year. I was actually fully ready to set it aside for selling but when I put it on I really enjoyed it. So, luckily for this record, it made its way back to the shelf. About eight records did not. I'll be taking those to my usual vinyl store sometime later this month. It is a relief to have my collection trimmed down. I'm the type of person who likes to throw things away. I suppose it’s kind of the opposite of hoarding. I like to feel that I am making the most out of my stuff. So if I'm not really using something anymore, even if the product is still mostly full or unused, I'm constantly tempted to just chuck it all out.

Now, I shall leave a song here that I enjoyed the past week to end today's entry. (Shall I make this a regular segment? It would be nice to look back and see which song caught my attention at a certain point in time.) I haven't been able to stop spinning this record (pictured above, in all of its orange glory). What a blessing YouTube recommendations are! I was suggested this live performance of Anna B Savage like two? three? months ago and now I've got a new favourite artist!

One last thing--I would be remiss if I don’t mention that I’m posting this on a completely new blog!! God, it’s such a relief, honestly. To have my own space again, to no longer feel like there are prying eyes on me--I am happy. So incredibly happy. It's always a hassle to get things set up the way I want it be and I've got to work on curating this new space but I am truly relieved. I can post whatever I want again without unsolicited opinions or intrusive questions from people who I've never even interacted with, or aren't brave enough to ask their questions directly. I'm following only old mutuals here that I really love seeing on my dashboard and I’m as invisible as I want to be. I can breathe again. That old blog was a fun experiment while it lasted but it only really confirmed something I've come to understand: people, on the whole, can really be terribly selfish, malicious and inconsiderate. There are lovely individuals out there of course and that's all the more reason to be as specific when deciding who to have around. And I don't need much at all, just sincere individuals. I don't want community. I want peace.

So, cheers to new beginnings!

Anyway, I’m off to put stuff on my face and then bedtime. The weekend plan is simple: read. I've been on a terrible reading slump for weeks and it's time to cure it. I'm going to read the Villains Duology by V.E. Schwab. Not my type of book but I do want to branch out and give it a chance. I found Addie LaRue to be okay so I hope I won't entirely hate this duology.

I look forward to my slow weekend.

Until next time.

[delusionaid]

@yuelun sent: (for Thoma) 💭 + Itto :)

Send 💭 + a topic to receive a headcanon about said topic.

LISTEN.

Itto is a source of energy for the already high-energy Thoma. He is fun: his silly humor makes him laugh, he's always up for games and they're both the right level of competitive to be a good match. He is spontaneous and easy to motivate for activities and going out (except when he is sleepy), and Thoma actually gets him to go, despite any reservations there might be due to the expectation of not being welcome for his Oni-heritage. Thoma really wants him to feel accepted and welcome and wanted - and since he can't make all of Inazuma let go of their prejudice, at the very least he can do his utmost to make sure Itto knows he's always happy to have him at his side. This ties into Thoma's altruistic side, too - he enjoys taking care of things and looking after people and for long stretches in Itto's life he's not had that kind of care, so Thoma is more than motivated to provide it; be it by making food for him, offering quality time, sewing his clothes or entertaining his rebranding ideas for the Arataki Gang.

He's also courageous, proud but honorable, someone to rely on - even if his help sometimes seems to make a situation worse. His willingness to keep going and fighting is contagious, even if he sometimes misses the forest for the trees. It's not the outcome of his deeds that draws Thoma in but his attitude towards an issue.

On a less happier note: as much as Thoma is settled in Inazuma and feels that he's found his purpose, he still has aspects of feeling and being a little out of place. He is an outsider. No matter how long he is in Inazuma and no matter how well connected he is in their society, he will never be Inazuman. Even if they were to fully consider him so, his past and part of his heart would always long for Mondstadt. He misses that home and that connection to the land and the people (perhaps even the archon) he will never regain, and Itto understands not being a "normal" member of society to an extent better than anyone else in Thoma's life. It's simply easier - possible - to share these thoughts with him, whereas Thoma is hesitant to burden Ayaka or Ayato with it. It's easy to confide in Itto because he doesn't judge him, but more importantly because he doesn't treat him differently for it. He always remains his loud, upbeat Oni who looks at the world one beetle at a time.

Also nice chest, I mean. Look at them-- it. Look at it. Don't you just wanna rest your head on that and take a good long nap?

And he sounds hella sexy in French.

[littlecarnet]

Man, I'd love to make zines again. I used to make them starting around 7 years old, before I even knew the term. I'd draw little comics about things like "What would cats do if they had hands like us?", and then just make a bunch of drawings about cats with hands. Or there was one I did in school based on a field trip to a tidepool and everything I learned. My teacher loved it so much, he made copies for the class.

When I got older, I made fanzines with my friends, mainly about games. At the time, games and game mags didn't focus on girls, so in a way, we were pretty ahead of our time. Just girls just talking about favorite games, tips, and glitches we found. One girl would write, I would draw, and another would take photos of the TV screen to paste into the zine. Then we'd take the mastercopy to Riteaid or the library to make copies. There was a comic shop that hosted local zines, and we'd be part of their weekly rotation.

I stopped when I graduated. I got too busy for creative stuff, and I lost some of my motivation when friends drifted apart due to moving and going to college. Sure I could've made a few on my own, but it wasn't the same. I missed the creative energy of a bunch of us together in the art room or at someone's house, the sound of paper, staplers, scissors, music and laughter as we brainstormed ideas, and eating pizza.

One of my favorite things was buying a blank page book, around 20 pages at least. We used it as a huge art collab book aka an Art Jam. Every week, we'd switch the book back and forth between us, drawing, writing slam poetry, pasting photos, writing down memories between us, and after it was filled up, we'd pitch in to scan it. We all got a copy. We all signed those copies. I have them still. They're treasures to me. They're like time capsules of one of the many eras I missed.

I can't recreate that mood anymore, but I have been wanting to create something again. I just don't know what exactly. I have some vague ideas though:

- I'd love to make a zine about wild foraging in my local area. Like this region specifically. I've never seen a zine, let alone a professional magazine tackle that topic. There's a few herb shops in my area that might appreciate those!

- Or I can make a mini comic! I like to think my art has gotten better since I was seven, so it couldn't hurt to do a little zine based on one of my fics, or something completely original. It could be in a style I've never tried before or medium I've yet to use.

- I could even make one about my camping trip with Lucky! How to introduce a cat to hiking and safety tips. That's the beauty about zines, they can be about ANYTHING!

I'll probably come up with other ideas during my mini vacation. But for now, those ideas feel more vivid in my mind. I have an idea of what I want them to look like, if they'll be in color, or how many I want to make.

[salicarus]

so this is gonna be a different kind of post but it's a bit personal and i kinda just wanna get it off my chest, but i just realized i have basically forgotten about all my ocs (other than my self-sona). i've been hit with a pang of sadness realizing this because i genuinely love my ocs so much and i have no idea how i forgot about them for over a year. i think part of the reason is because i had to switch to drawing with a mouse on aseprite as opposed to drawing with a stylus on clip studio paint (for personal reasons, i don't wanna get into this), and because i'm drawing with a mouse, i feel less comfortable to draw generally. i really miss my ocs so i want to dedicate this post to talk about them a bit.

my comfort ocs: serena, sally, denise and saria are some of the first ocs i've created that i still think about and love so much, the reason they're my comfort ocs is because they're so personal to me and i love them so much i can't bear to put them in any type of story where i could see them get hurt (lol). they're just like this group of gals who love each other so much. serena and sally are dating, and so are denise and saria. they've gone through so many changes over the years and honeslty i'm happy with where serena is, but i need to redesign the rest. it's been like a year since i last drew serena, and gosh i miss her so much. i really would love to take the time to make some redesigns adjustments to them, but idk i don't feel comfortable drawing with a mouse agshdkjhegwbfh </3.

tabby: taby and feli are like anthropomorphized-ish ocs that are inspired from sonic the hedgehog. originally, tabby was inspired by a shape that i saw in a chair and i thought to myself i could make that a character. so i did agshdkjhwebifk. i always want to draw tabby lookin cool and stuff just like how i always see sonic. feli is supposed to be tabby's guardian, and is just like ten years-ish older than tabby. i wanted to make the world of tabby into a bigger thing, but i decided to work on something smaller for the time being (i won't mention it later in this post because that's also a personal thing sorry </3).

pop: originally deigned to be pop stars, these set of characters are kinda super hero-ish. bora won, mania and romeo valentine are all themed after the colors purple, orange and pink respectivley. bora won is supposed to be like a modern witch who fights kinda bayonetta style with superhuman abilities, and also does summoning and brewery. mania is crazy and all about explosives. she loves to blow things up and can pull out any kind of explosives out of thin air. her deal was supposed to be like an anti-hero, but i kinda decided she should be a hero just really unhinged. romeo valentine is probs what you expect him to be lol. he fights with his charm by flexing his muscles and releasing energy beams that way. he's also a hopeless romantic on purpose.

terra belle: my most unhinged oc who loves to murder men <3. originally she was just a cool oc that i had that loved knives, but after watching arcane, i got a surge of inspiration and fleshed her out a bit more, giving her a backstory and some ideas on how she likes to act and fight. terra is def superhuman and can bend the law of physics to her will to play with her victim. she loves getting gory and torturous with her methods.

squiggle and poof: a simple scribble designs that turned into ocs!!! they're very easy to draw and that's what i really like about them. i don't really have anything else fleshed out about them, other than they're both besties and love to hang out and think about butts.

talking about my ocs made me feel a bit better (so thank you if you read all this agshdkjlhwbeif), but also i noticed while typing all this down that i forgot so much about my ocs. it's been a really long time since i thought about them so i guess that's natural. i really hope that i get the motivation and confidence to draw them once again <3