#i miss it so much like 😭😭😭 i genuinely don’t feel as alive as i used to……….

[meimei-archives]

I feel like you would do justice on this request the “I’ll be watching you trend” with rafe and y/n he’s always watching her even when there at the same party and she’s dancing her heart off and Rafe just watches her while other girls try to get his attention or his gf

Btw him and y/n broke up years ago because he was immature and needed help at the time so they didn’t work out and rafe let her go but she was always there for him

Or which ever story line you decided I don’t mind 💗

I’LL BE WATCHING:: Rafe Cameron

WARNING:: drinking & drug use, enemies to lovers, rough sex, begging, friends to enemies, make up sex, choking, arguing, mentions of overdosing, kook!reader.

SUMMARY:: after being broken up for almost two years it seems that Rafe is always at every public gathering and party and it’s really pissing you off.

A/N:: thank you so much for sending this request, and thank you for trusting in me to write this for you😭!

You were sick of the reoccurring bit you and Rafe had been putting on at every party on figure 8 for the past two years. Every party that you run into him always leaves you with a sinking pit of frustration in your stomach as the two of you got under each others skin. Always leaving early as you can feel his looming presence around you every time you enjoy yourself.

You don’t know what you hated more; the fact that he always had his eyes latched on you, or the fact that he thinks that you don’t notice it. The house that all the kids on figure 8 picked to trash for the night was Topper’s, an advent party thrower, and just so happened to be your ex’s friend.

Though you have had mutual friends before you and Rafe broke up and still without a doubt you both run into each other. And as the days past it seems like you can never stop running into him. And tonight was just another one of those run ins. The beach house was big and comfy, decorated like a hotel resort as the music echoed and vibrated the walls.

The dull smell of coke, weed, and alcohol made the air thick, the room was almost crowded wall to wall where the stereo was located, you and a couple of friends surround yourselves as the music plays you and your friends swaying and dancing against each other.

You were lost in the warm air, and the sheen of sweat that sticks to your skin, your brain was in a heavy haze due to you and couple friends hotboxing a bathroom you all found within the many rooms. You had exchanged glances with Rafe across the room plenty of times tonight, and it seemed like whatever girl was sitting on his arm tonight was getting absolutely no play.

“Rafe? Are you listening?” she tugged at his arm as she watches him snap his head towards her “what?” It came out snappy and it made the girl retract slightly “I was talking to you about that trip Kelce invited me to, are you coming?” She asks and if Rafe genuinely cared he would’ve looked in her eyes and seen the sparkle behind them as she waits for his answer.

But Rafe doesn’t care. He didn’t even know her name, he wasn’t drunk enough to deal with her at that. His eyes fighting to get another glance in of you but he couldn’t see you as the room shuffled with people moving around. “Yeah…I guess I’m going” he shrugs her off as he can distantly hear her little squeal of happiness.

The nasty feeling in the pit of Rafe’s stomach only growing bigger as the seconds go by not being able to find you within the crowd, he urned to see that smile on your face and the way you moved without a care in the world. He missed you. And he hated that it had been years since the two of you talked. He regretted the last thing he ever said to you, high out of his mind, rambling and crying as your patience had grown thin with his addiction.

The words ‘I hate you’ butter on his tongue when he spat them, and the second they fell out of his mouth was the moment he lost you, and he had never felt so empty, falling into a deeper pit of addiction before realizing that you wanted him alive and well, that you would rather be without him and urge him to do better rather than be together and find him one day laid out half alive in a puddle of his own vomit.

And Rafe took it as his sign to get help. He went away, he got off the island for a few months during the fall and cleaned himself up hoping that he’d come back and you’d be there and be proud of him. He needed you there, and when you weren’t he started sitting in every party he had heard you’d be in attendance for even going as far to ask Barry to keep a look out on you when he wasn’t around. Even in the same room Rafe could feel the tightening in his chest at the temporary hole that was in his heart when he couldn’t see you. Standing up on his own two feet feeling a surge of being purely sober he carried himself through the crowd.

If someone told you two years ago that you and Rafe were no longer on speaking terms and the sight of him could make your blood boil in all the wrong ways; you’d think they were lying. But the second you had turned away from your friends with a cup full of a mix your friend had made it splashed your skin sticking to your clothes as you crashed into someone else, a big wall of muscle as the persons large hand steady’s your body. You open your mouth to apologize but the second you meet the icy blue eyes of Rafe it dies down in the back of your throat making your eyebrows pinch together. “Great” you roll your eyes.

Rafe had spilled his drink all over your white top. You could see your bra through it by now and you were beyond pissed. "You're getting me a new one. And by getting me a new one I mean you're buying it" you snap as you set your drink on one of the coffee tables that had scattered beer bottles and ash trays.

Scoffing at your tone Rafe opens his mouth to speak "all of a sudden you can't ask your rich ass parents to buy you a new one? Daddy cut you off or something?" He says with full confidence and the intention to piss you off. "No, but since you're so invested in my life, why don't you invest in some good eyesight and find me a new shirt bastard" you snap.

Rafe had it up to this point, your smart mouth, your attitude, and simply the way you mouth off to him in-front of everyone to embarrass him. Snatching you by your arm he tugs you through the crowd of screaming and laughing people as they dance and sing along to whatever is playing. Dragging you upstairs and tugging you through the dimly lit hallways. You felt lost, your shirt was practically sticking to your skin and most likely staining it a deep shade of red as you can feel the liquid seeping through your bra. Rafe opens a bedroom door and pushes you through making you stumble over your shoes. Leaving the party behind without a care in the world. The loud slam of the door behind him makes you jump in shock.

Rafe drags himself to open one of the drawers of the dressers in the bedroom. "Are you seriously gonna steal someone else's shirt to opt out of buying me a new one?" You snark. "No, this is my room for the night, my shirt. If you want a new shirt so bad I'll buy you one" he grovels as he shovels through the folded clothes finding a random t-shirt he hadn't worn in a while and simply had forgotten about at the bottom of the pile. Tossing it without even looking at you, hitting you in the face earning a yelp from you.

Ripping the shirt out of your view and tossing it to the bed "you are so fucking intolerable I swear. It's been 2 years and you still have the nerve to act like I did something to you" your voice ripples through the room. "You did, 2 years of dirty looks and pissy comments yet you're acting like time hasn’t passed" he was heated beyond belief at this point. And the words almost give you whiplash.

“I beg your pardon? Time doesn’t erase how you treated me, Rafe. It doesn’t take back what you said and did. What the fuck did you think was going to happen when we eventually ran into each other?” You were riled up at this point, sure maybe here and there you made snappy comments about Rafe when you would see him, and maybe you did purposely say it loud enough for him to hear if he was around, but, that’s besides the point.

He was getting under your skin as much as you tried to get under his and it was really pissing you off. “I don’t know, maybe not like a spoiled fuck brat” he griped making your glare deepen with pure hatred. “I’m a spoiled fucking brat? Me? Says ‘king kook’ himself. By the way, how's that going for you? I heard you’ve been all wrapped up in that Pogue and kook beef…actually; you ran the whole operation” you snapped you were going right for the head, you wanted to hurt Rafe’s feelings more than he hurt yours at any cost.

And Rafe scoffs, not wanting to give you satisfaction “I’m clean y’know, I’m not…like that anymore” he mumbles and it makes your face soften immediately. “Why are you telling me that?” You straighten up, it was a weak spot in the armor you had built up over time, Rafe’s addiction was what drove you apart initially, but there were many more cracks in your relationship that weren’t a big priority. “Because I don’t want you to think that’s who you’re talking to right now. I got help.” He speaks feeling more sure in his words. “Cool…” and the second you say it so weakly it makes Rafe’s brows scrunch together and he looks at you, looking your most vulnerable and Rafe didn’t know the nasty feeling in his stomach clench.

“Cool…? That’s it? Two years and that’s it?” Rafe was flabbergasted, he did this for you, and you say it’s just..cool? Not gonna happen. “What do you want me to say Rafe? Do you want me to jump with joy, cry happy tears? What Rafe?” Your skin was burning, and you could feel the tremble in your lips as you stare at him.

“I did this for you! I got clean for you. That’s what you wanted and all you have to say is cool? You asked for this and I gave it to you y/n does that really mean nothing?” His tone is sharp enough to cut through you and loud enough to make your throat go dry, your words like a sword fight, the back and forth becoming more intense by the word. “It’s a bit late for that, no? We’re not together. You hate me, and you want nothing to do with me, does that ring any bells Rafe?”

You felt like the bile in your stomach would burn the back of your throat as you spoke the venomous words. And Rafe only shakes his head as he steps cautiously closer to you “that was stupid, and I know that. But does this really count for nothing?” His voice cracks as he gets on his knees as he looks up at you with those glassy ocean eyes that you used to love so much. His fist clenched as he lays them on both sides of your thighs and it makes your face flare in heat as tears cloud your eyes.

“Should it, Rafe? I don’t know a single thing about you anymore, the last thing you said to me was that you hated me, and that you never wanted to see me. What am I supposed to do? You hurt me, and pushed me away when all I wanted was for you to be healthy. Does that count for nothing? Just because you shaved your head and got clean doesn’t mean you’re all of a sudden in my good graces” you sigh heavily and Rafe can hear the tremble in your breath and he hates it.

“I’m sorry” he says just above a whisper and you catch it and it makes you shake your head “for what? Rafe? What are you sorry for? The way you left things, or thinking that I’d just run into your arms? Maybe it’s the way you watch me every time we’re conveniently near each other, maybe the way you didn’t notice, or all the times you’d get high on coke and let me see you like that. Which one? Tell me.” You urge as you let your tears fall and cool off the heated skin on your cheeks.

The salty tears immediately are wiped away as you watch him in frustration. “Tell me” your voice is weaker and it’s nothing like what you wanted. You didn’t want to be vulnerable and brought to tears over him, after months of you being apart and you hiding away on figure 8 in the confinements of your bedroom locked away from the world. Away from him. And Rafe knew that there was a shopping list of things to apologize for. “All of it, everything, I was the worst person back then, and I knew it and I was so caught up in everything else I didn’t even realize what I was doing and how much it affected you until it was too late…and I’m sorry” he let his tears of built of emotion slip through him.

“You chose drugs over us. And I put up with it until I saw you at rock bottom, I didn’t know if you would ever be who I loved again, but I had to save myself” you mumbled as you wiped away all the tears that continued to fall. “When you left, I fell deeper. And then I saw you again and it looked like you had moved on, happier without me, and I knew I wanted to get my shit together. You helped me get my shit together” he clutched the sheets and it made your eyes shut as you sigh and place your hand on the back of his head gently and take a deep breath.

“I’m glad you’re clean” whispers “even if we aren’t together” and the words sound sour when they reach the thick air of the room and it makes Rafe cup your wrist. “I watch you…because I was scared” the words are curt and it makes you stiffen “scared? Of what?” You were confused, If Rafe had worried for you then why had he not said a word. “I don’t even remember…I was always high, and I would watch you but eventually I got clean and it became a habit to just sit and watch you. Just to make sure you were safe, or just okay” his words made your brain melt, as you looked into his eyes, read from tears and his pupils are perfectly fine, nothing out of the ordinary.

“Even though I said I hate you, I’ve never meant it. I was hurt that you left when I needed you; but eventually I realized you were doing it for a good reason. And in a weird way I watched over you to make sure nothing ever happened to you” he mumbled as he leaned into your touch. The familiar feeling of your nails against his scalp made him relax as the feelings twisting him up would ease up. “To this day?” You ask and Rafe opens his mouth with hesitation before he finally speaks up “I still care about you, and I know it doesn’t look like it right now, but I will never stop caring about you” and that does it for you.

There was always a looming presence in your heart, a small space that had been lumped around in your chest, locked away in the depths that you had never acknowledged, the fact that there was still a part of Rafe that you cared for. You hated to admit it, to anyone no matter how close you were. But looking down at the buzzed blonde you felt that heavy lump in your chest breaking the locks and filling up with nothing but thoughts of Rafe,Rafe, Rafe.

No longer just a crack in your armor it was now a gaping hole, torn open and each time you heard his voice each piece falling apart. “I can’t just take your word for it. Saying it doesn’t prove it, words are just words until proven as a fact. How do I know I can trust what you say?” The lump in the back of your throat becomes more evident. “Let me prove it. Please? I waited two years, and I can spend the next a hundred years trying to get my point across. I don’t just want you to believe what I say, I need you to” his words like a match to the skin.

“Prove it. Show me I can trust you, and we can figure out what happens next” your voice is hesitant, and low but it gives Rafe a sense of relief. He pulls you in by your waist holding you tight with his head to your chest, as he’s reminded of the drink that spilled making him pull away. A sheen of wetness on his cheeks as they flared red with color he stands up and it makes you giggle as he makes a disgusted face wiping the alcohol from his face.

You grip the hem of your shirt pulling it off without a second thought, and you pause for a moment as you sit on the bed, in your bra, in front of your ex after having an intense conversation. Your hand just a hair away from his shirt; the two of you staring at one another before Rafe breaks into a smirk. Stepping to the edge of the bed “if you missed me so bad you could’ve said so-” the words getting cut off the second he tries to sit on the edge of the bed he falls missing the bed almost entirely which earns a laugh from you, the sharp pain shooting through his ass be damned because; Rafe missed hearing your laugh, the way it bubbled from your chest or the way your lips curl into a smile and eyes fall shut as your long eyelashes tickle against your cheek.

He watches intently as he stands once more watching as you curl over in laughter before opening your eyes and seeing how close he is, making your smile fall into a grin. “I missed that” he says confidently and it makes your head feel as you look up at him with curious eyes. And he stands between your legs and it surfaces something familiar, fuzzy, and a distant throb between your thighs that makes your head spin. “I missed your laugh” his words make you feel warm.

The warmth of his roughy palm cupping your cheek makes you lean into it, the skin to skin contact leaves a wave of nostalgia that it had craved and it makes your eyes glaze over “I missed this” his words the final nail in the coffin, he leans over you to press his lips to yours, a taste of soda and a little bit of liquor and it made Rafe feel weak in the knees. Your glossy lips kissing back, the way your hands find his hair running through the short locks and it makes him groan into your mouth. His thumb parting your lips as his tongue swirls against yours, and his scent fills your senses.

The way your lip gloss stains his lips, as your tongues and teeth clash, this desperate and searing kiss becoming intense as you grip his short hair tightly, nothing like how you used to, missing his longer hair that would always brush against your face any time you would kiss, but this was different; he was different. He was finally growing up, and moving onto better things. “Prove it” you mumbled against his mouth and it makes Rafe pull away from your kiss swilling lips with a string of saliva breaking from the space of your lips.

He trails wet kisses from your cheek to your chin, not acknowledging your words and steadily shows you with his mouth as your head tilts back to press harsh kisses across your throat as his lips nip and suck on a spot he remembers riling you up. You pull away before his soft lips touch your chest “off. Take your shirt off” you blurt and it makes Rafe grin. He didn’t know how far this was going but he’d do whatever you asked in a heartbeat if it meant moving onto the next step with you.

He pulls the white polo by the back of the collar over his head dropping it to the floor on top of yours. Your eyes greedily look over him to see he had grown his muscles, once scrawny and a bit scrappy, he not only had grown emotionally even if it was just a bit, he definitely grew as a man…a lot. His tanned skin covered in freckles from being under the sun, the happy trail that traveled past his jeans. It made you want to discover him all over again. This new version of Rafe, what makes him tick, what buttons you could press, if the same spots you scratched and kissed were still the same, if he had any new scars that you had yet to discover. It made you oh too eager.

Your finger hook onto his belt loops and pull him closer to you, looking up at him with lust filled as you pressed heated kisses to his chest, leaving behind hickeys in your wake down to his lower stomach nipping at his skin biting gently, and it makes him groan at the feeling of your teeth sinking into his skin “fuck, sweetheart” his hand finds your jaw as your nose presses against him finding a spot he knows all too well; his hip with a tiny brown freckle that was sensitive, the warmth of your tongue licking a small stripe against it before pressing your lips to it.

It makes Rafe shutter as it overwhelms him, the euphoric sensation clouds over him, he shuffles to pull you to your feet before taking the spot you once took up and urging you into straddling his lap, cradling the side of your face and kissing you roughly. His hands trailing your body as if this was the first time you had ever been together, like he wanted to memorize every inch he had missed over time. It felt like a haze, every trail of his jagged fingertips tips against your skin felt like your own personal heaven, mentally kicking yourself for depriving yourself of the feeling for so long.

Your hands grip at whatever you can to pull him closer to you, his rough palms sliding from your waist to your ass, he grips the soft skin over your shorts and it makes your skin shiver with anticipation. Grinding against his lap, feeling the bulge growing under his shorts. You feel your panties sodden with your juices making you arch into his chest you moan into his mouth, the sound makes Rafe grind his hips back into yours wanting no separation.

”fuck i missed seeing you like this” he groaned his hands guiding your hips dragging you back and forth as small whimpers fall past your lip as he whispers dirty words into your ear; you could hear your own pulse in your ears as the pleasure of friction drives you grind harder before you stop out of frustration and wanting to feel his skin against your. “I can’t do this…too many clothes in the way, need them off” you whine as if you had clothes on any longer you’d melt. And that makes you pull yourself off of him as you fumble with your buttons and zipper, and Rafe does the same.

Stripping down to almost being fully naked, it made you vulnerable, your arms cover yourself, because as eager as you were to let your bodies collide for the first time in years, things had changed, the sweet nothing Rafe would whisper to you about how beautiful you were and how he worshipped your body like a piece of art had been a distant memory, and with the disappearance of Rafe in your life as a constant nobody was there to tell you how much of a goddess you really were inside and out.

Rafe’s face scrunches as he watches you shy away from showing your skin makes him shake his head “don’t hide from me, don’t do that” he mumbled, it sounded all too familiar; the first time you ever laid in bed with each other with the intent to have sex. The way you were insecure of your body, how you were worried that the second Rafe saw you bare was the day he would never be attracted to you again.

“Come here, baby.” His voice gentle as you moved to take your spot in his lap once more the fabric of both of your underwear stuck to each other from the way your juices soak through your panties leaving a wet splotch on his boxers. “I don’t know what went on when i was gone, but I know that your and this beautiful body…” he presses kisses to your cheek and down your neck “are perfect, and i want to see every inch. Let me see all of you baby. Please?” His voice is gentle yet you know he means them and isn’t just saying it to comfort you.

and you nod as your lips catch his in a searing kiss, the sound of your lips against each other mixed with heavy breathing a moan makes your head spin in all the right ways. Eventually you find yourself back entangled in the sheets as Rafe travels your body leaving behind heated kisses and love bites until he hooks his fingers onto your panties pulling them down slowly until they hang from your ankle, you kick them off to join the rest of your clothes.

His hands guide the back of your thighs up and your knees to your chest, leaving you put on display “so fuckin’ pretty, baby” he mumbles almost as if he’s talking to your pussy,and your eyes snap shut the second you feel his tongue slowly lick a thick stripe up and down your pussy, masking you moan as your head falls back in pure pleasure.

it felt like he was making out with your pussy, drunk on the feeling and sight of you quivering as he practically eats you alive. Your thighs shake as the pressure builds in the pit of your stomach. His thumb presses against your clit, rubbing harsh circles that makes you clench around nothing. Gripping at the sheets of the bed for a sense of grounding yourself, but the way Rafe ate you out like you were his last meal makes your eyes roll back and your hand falls into his short hair.

”harder baby, pull it harder’ he groaned into you as your fingers tighten around his blonde locks. “That’s it’’ he coo’s at you before you feel his finger rub against your entrance before slowly pushing it in and it makes him groan as you tighten round his digit. “She missed me so bad” he groans as he licks up every bit of your juices that run down you. Like a sweet essence like your taste on his tongue was life changing.

Your hips grind against his fingers as your thighs tighten up around his head, the heat formed “give it to me” he was eager to feel you finish; just for him, around his fingers. He pushes in another finger and pushes you closer to the edge, your eyes sticking to the way Rafe drops a thick pearl of spit on your pussy before his mouth is latched against your clit making all thoughts of keeping quiet slip past your mind. The deep pressure was becoming too much, his fingers reaching a spot nobody else could.

the feeling of your soaked gummy walls clenching on his fingers so tightly makes him moan as your thighs quiver around his head, finally letting your orgasm wash over you. “So good, That’s it” he talks you through it as that white hot feeling rolls over your body. He slowly releases you wishing the tight grasp of his hands as you relax into the sheets and it makes Rafe grin in satisfaction “you’re not giving out on me already are you?” His tone is condescending and it lights the heat under your skin that you had associated with Rafe the past few years.

”fuck off” you groan as you sit up, pulling his boxers off his hips, you could see that he was fully hard, and just as big as you remember. It makes your smirk; knowing that you could make Rafe’s body react this much even if it had been years. You push him back against the pillows of the bed and toss the last few pieces of clothing that had covered your bodies. You straddle his lap, your hands intimate and soft rub over his chest and settle on his lower stomach before you bring a hand to your mouth, licking across your palm before you spread your thighs and take his cock within your grasp jerking him off slightly as the glisten of your spit shines on his cock and it makes his eyes flutter shut.

Letting you sink down on him slowly as you lean into each other with your mixed euphoria like a fever dream just waiting to end. You were soaked and it made Rafe's mouth fall open slightly at the feeling, loving the way you were so tight and warm around him, how this feeling of sharing passionate moments with you was once distant now wrecking his body. Slowly building a pace as the soft pattering of your thighs meeting his hands rest on his chest to give you stability your hips stop and slow down to grind against him. “How’s this for giving out?” You ask teasingly, feeling the way his fingers pitch and rub against the skin of your ass and thighs, and it makes the most neediest whimper fall past your mouth.

You could feel Rafe’s hips weakly fucking up into you and it makes your head fall back momentarily in bliss before you build up a faster pace, as much as you wanted to cum, that feeling was easily bought out at the idea of making Rafe feel as good as he makes you. You pull at the back of his head gripping his hair tight within your grasp as you ride him harder. The sight of the glossy sheen your pussy makes on his cock as your ass bounces in his lap with loud smacking sounds resound in the air making him groan in pure pleasure. Closing his eyes tightly holding back the moan building up in the back of his throat. “Look at it” you grip his hair tighter and it makes his eyes shoot open looking down between your thighs and watches as you grind on him harshly his jaw slacks.

“I know you missed me” you giggle as you continue to pick up the same rhythm of riding him as moans fall out your throat ringing out as the headboard cracks against the drywall with a dull thumping sound that matches the of your hips. You felt like your mind was melting and that everything else around you was a blur, your needy moans clog Rafe’s brain and it eggs him on to pull you into his chest as one hand rests on your hip and the other grips around your hair tight in his fist as he pounds into you.

the sound of skin on skin smacking was like an endless loop, but with each thrust and the thrill shooting through your limbs as adrenaline rushes through your veins your grip onto his shoulder digging your nails into his skin which earns a guttural moan and smack to the ass that leaves a red hot pain behind on your skin that you’d rather not admit to enjoying deeper than face value. “You’re so deep inside” you moan as you thrash the overwhelming sensation between your thighs and the white ring that froths at the base of his cock your foreheads pressed together as the both of you look between your bodies and the nonstop movements of your entangled limbs with strings of your essence and his precum stick to your thighs, the wet sounds was like music to Rafe’s ears, each moan falling from the back of your throat and rumbling against his chest makes Rafe become more harsh and precise.

”fuck you’re gonna me cum” he moaned, his pupils blown out as his hip press deeper into you leaving you completely caged in his arms “I’m so close” you whisper into his ears, you were more desperate to see him finish your lips close to his ear as you urged him- no begged him to cum inside you. And it leaves Rafe a mess, as his moans and breathing become jagged he slows down and captures you in a kiss as the two of you finish grinding against each other with bated breath and unspoken words.

the two of you coming down from your highs pull apart reluctantly as the sound of muffled music becomes more apparent that the party was still going on downstairs, Rafe gets up to use the bathroom attached to the room coming back with a warm rag to clean you up, pressing kisses to your thighs and the scratches you hadn’t even known he ad left on you before you both lay in the bed in just your underwear.

”So about that shirt…”

[mandukkul]

Weird Boyfriend — ot7

synopsis: things your Enhypen boyfriend does

tags: bf!ot7 x f!reader, crack/ humour

warning: none

word count: n/a

likes + comments appreciated

author's note: Thank you for 1k followers! i know i don't actively post on here because its a hobby account but i seriously am so grateful for for all the support!!

#°❀⋆manny's 1k celebration event .ೃ࿔*:･

희승 | heeseung

- has toxic league humour running in his veins

- don’t let his cool sexy hot guy persona fool you

- one time you caught him on YOUR twitter account OLBITERATING his own haters

- lich got you banned on twitter for saying kys your mums a hoe!

- thank god he doesn’t know how to dox or else he’d abuse that shit out of that ability

제이 | jay

- actually tends to drown you out on instinct now

- NOT BECAUSE HE DOESNT LOVE YOU

- but you seriously talk so much and about so many different things

- your ability to switch from one topic to another is uncanny so he’s bound to miss a few things

- plus he can’t waste good memory storage on the 100 reasons why superheroes are just grown adults with accepted fursonas

데잌크 | jake

- is so smart and yet lowk so dumb

- like his brain just turns off around you and you don’t know if you feel happy that he feels comfortable around you or sad that he makes you do all the thinking

- playing fire boy and water girl would suck! because you’re yelling at him to wait for you because he can’t jump over the green liquid but bro is nawt listening and thinks he can raw dog it (he doesn’t)

- makes you rage quit!

- also the type to say “babe i just found this awesome new underground artist i think you’d love them”

- and it’s like rex orange county or soemthing 😭

성훈 | sunghoon

- leaves a message that only appears when the mirror fogs up

- something like “you’re stunning”

- also leaves cute messages around the for you to find.

- “you got this!” “you’re the best!” “you’re so handsome” “you are so strong and buff!”

- okay that was a bit weird but you love sunghoon regardless

- you bring it up with him and he laughs like it’s the smartest idea in the world

- only, his laugh seems a bit too genuine

- turns out he’s been leaving those messages around for himself.

- #can’tgoadaywithoutmydailyaffirmations!

선우 | sunoo

- lowk a diva

- gets mad when you don’t want to go and get a sweet treat with him

“im just too full, get one without me”

- fuck off. and he sulks until you cave in.

- when you bring him around on shopping days with your friends, he ends up gossiping with them and shopping and you’re just standing there like YOUR the bf being forced to walk around and follow them

- at least he ends up getting ALL the tea and you debrief at home

정윈 | jungwon

- lowk judgemental but loves you so much so don’t take it to heart

- like you bite his bicep and he gives you a look that’s akin to killing all his future hypothetical bloodline

- or pull on his teeth

- or pick his nose

- like stop being a weirdo (affectionate)

- but then he says outrageous shit

“okay but like what if we fuse, i would totally be satisfied with life if i lived under your skin” “wonnie… you aren’t going to skin me alive… right?“what? no i just want to crawl under your skin, i think it’d be warm, and snuggly”

- you may do weird shit but he says weird shit

- “i just want you to stop saying odd shit”

- but don’t be fooled, he still judges you with a loving look

니키 | niki

- fake ass emo!

- spends at least 20 minutes posing to take a good selfie for you and sends it to you and actively checks if you seen it

- and when you do see it, acts like he “just took it randomly” LIKE WE KNOW YOU VOGUED THAT SHIT RELAX

- tries to act nonchalant when you give him a dry ass reply:

“okay, riks, whatever you say”

- JUST BELIEVE HIM FOR YOUR OWN SAKE

- one time on call, he caught himself using his higher register

- so next sentence he drops like 2 octaves and acts like it’s his normal voice

“and so i totally think big chill is the hottest alien out of ben’s arsenal” “yeah 👹” “????”

- gaslights you to thinking that’s what he sounded like the whole time

- also, would give you a thousand yard stare if you take a photo of his left side

[milk459]

Some thoughts have been simmering in my mind and my Twitter is a bit much to be saying all of this so I thought I’d share it here :3

For a while I was a bit iffy on more bad things happening to Green just because they were not in a state at all to fight back or be silly and evil and it was just all memory loss and depression 😭. But now that we’re back on our feet I’m so down for the back and forth starting again. We need more silly stupid pranks, and cartoon villain shinanigans. And I’m not just talking about from Green Faction, I think Yellow and Blue and even Orange should get in on this as well :3c ! I Miss stuff like the honey incident and the bridge war, we need a lot more of that. I love the more serious conflict too, but I think the more light hearted side of things is good for the health of the vibes on the server and the fandom as a whole tbh. I saw some one posting about how they were frustrated irl about the Yellow Castle being greifed with sand and I was a little surprised ngl because I thought it was just all silly vibes but if you feel a bit frustrated that’s fine! My suggestion however, is why dosent yellow take this as an opportunity to grief Green Castle👀? Like come on it would be so funny and tons of them have Nirvana they could get it done real quick and it would be a fun faction bonding activity :) . Genuinely After the Blender explosion and this with yellow castle I’m so serious when I say I think it’s about time that Yellow gets to be silly back. PLEASEEEE, start scheming!! Place snow all over the Cathedral! Take a Green faction member to Court over Damages! Place signs all over the spirit Halloween! Get Revenge for the blender explosion >:)

I just want more silly conflict on the server, and I hate to see green / yellow faction beef amongst fans. I may be a strong green faction main but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love Ros, Pili and Zams POVs. I think the varying perspectives is what makes the server so fun to watch. I know the long length of vods makes watching multiple POVs near impossible at times but I do genuinely encourage ppl to watch an opposing sides pov when you get the chance, it adds more depth to the story and makes things a lot more fun to watch in my opinion.

( And also just as a general reminder don’t get to concerned about stuff outside of rp, if there’s a genuine issue on the server between CCs they can talk it out and handle it themselves👍🏾✨)

But yeah more silly shenanigans and pranks and dumb arcs now that everyone is alive and … somewhat well 😭🙏🏾, plz and thank you 🙂‍↕️. Also I heard somewhere that tr!Beky had make a court house 👀, I’m so serious when I say that I want a Court Case arc, plz it would be so funny, I need to see tr!Lukey become Green Factions Lawyer while tr!Pangi and tr!Bad make defending their cases absolutely impossible. And I know tr!Zam would give a FIRE and hilarious speech in Court, not to mention all the objections and Witness testimony’s. With tr!Beky as the unbiased judge, god it would be so perfect 🙏🏾✨😭. I need it BAD.

Ok that’s all! I just needed to get that off my chest, I hope some one understands what I’m talking about😭, but if you disagree that’s completely fine too, it’s all pixels at the end of the day :) 👍🏾✨

Time to work on assignments all night LOL.

Byeeeeee

[newluvrs]

PARTY 4 U [PT. 3]

Sungchan ₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎  mdni!! 18+ currently listening to: PARTY 4 U - CHARLI XCX word count: 9.7k bb note: im not even gonna lie I think like half of this is smut 😭😭... lets just call it an early birthday gift 2 myself 🙂‍↕️

“What are you thinking about?” 

The room is bathed in a soft light from your bedside lamp, your eyes heavy with sleep.  A glance at the digital clock in your room tells you it’s a little past 3 a.m..  You’re in no mood to leave the current comfort of your bed, and even if you were in the mood, you still wouldn’t.  Not when the person you’re resting against is Sungchan, not when he feels so warm and safe.  This is probably too intimate of a position granted you’re supposed to just be friends with benefits, but sometime between leaving a party with the intention of fucking and actually getting into bed with him, you both changed your minds and settled for the comfort of the other.  It’s the middle of the night, and you’re not in the mood to face the complications of your relationship right now, so you don’t. 

“I’m getting so old.”  

He doesn’t try and conceal his laugh, making it clear that he finds your statement ridiculous.  

“If you’re old then that means I am too.”  

“You’re right my bad.  We’re getting old.”  

That makes him laugh harder, the sound of it making you smile, heart warming. 

“Since when have you been concerned with age.”  

You can hear the sincerity in his voice, his genuine curiosity for something he’s never heard you mention before.  As you lay with your head on his shoulder, he brings a hand to play with your fingers, before settling for intertwining them.  He’s testing his boundaries right now, seeing how affectionate you’ll let him be before you eventually pull away, and he’s grateful when it seems like tonight you don’t feel like making him leave.  

“’m not concerned with age..”  

You trail off and he stays quiet, recognizing that you’re trying to find the right way to word this for him.  You love that he doesn’t rush you, that he waits until you find what it is you want to say.  

“I’m concerned that I’ve made it this far, but that I know so little.”  

He hums in acknowledgement, turning your words over in his head.  He knows that you have a lot on your mind, having talked with you like this many times before.  Admittedly in a less intimate context, but he’s familiar with you enough to know that you need to let everything out before you want to hear from anyone.  You curl into him a little more, moving your head from his shoulder to rest on his chest now.  From this position you can hear his heartbeat, making your eyes feel heavier and causing you to feel more tender.  Something about it makes you want to bare your heart to him, but you guess that’s just what it feels like to be with Sungchan.  

“At what age are you supposed to stop fucking up.” 

It’s mumbled into his chest, and if he wasn’t hanging onto your every word then he might’ve missed it.  His kneejerk reaction is to deny your words, tell you that you’re not a fuckup and that he wishes you saw yourself the way he did, but he knows it’s not what you need.  He presses the urge down, pursing his lips as he hums so that way you know that he heard you.

It’s quiet like that for a few more minutes, and you’re starting to give in to sleep.  His heartbeat is soothing, lulling your eyes closed.  Just feeling and hearing how he’s alive is enough for you to find comfort in.  You wonder if he knows how much it is that he helps you, maybe one day you’ll tell him.  You’re just about to fall asleep when he speaks again.  

“Remember how my car got hit last semester.”  

He thinks you might have fallen asleep when he doesn’t see you move, and secretly he hopes you did so he can stay with you like this a little bit longer.  

“In the H-mart parking lot right?”  

You do remember, you remember because although you felt bad for him, the story was hilarious.  He had just pulled into H-mart towards the back of the lot with the spaces on either side of him completely open.  You’re not sure why he didn’t immediately get out of his car, but you remember that he lingered a little bit before going into the store.  While he was waiting, the car in the space behind him managed to reverse directly into his car.  When Sungchan had left his car to get the other person’s information, all the person did was give him a hug, which he accepted, before they got back into their car and drove away.  When he told your friend group, all of you laughed until you had tears in your eyes.  

“My mom was so pissed at me for not getting their information, and everyone laughed at me for it, especially since it’s considered like the one thing you’re supposed to make sure to do in that situation.” 

You nodded your head, wondering where this was going but eager to hear him speak.  

“Initially I was so mad when it happened, I was already having a bad day and then that.  But when they got out of their car, it was a little old lady.  She was so apologetic.. how was I supposed to make her pay for that?”  

As he recounts the story, he sounds like he’s truly reliving the moment.  All you can picture is Sungchan, already upset after a long day, attitude immediately doing a 180 when he saw how upset the old woman was.  You picture how maybe he saw his own grandma in her, how he would never be able to bring himself to inconvenience someone that way.  It makes you think of how much shit he must have gotten from his parents and his friends, even when he did a good deed.  

“My point is, without context, my actions seem pretty foolish.  To most people, that was me fucking up, but I don’t feel that way..”  

He can feel the way your lips curl into a smile, the feeling making his heart beat a little faster.  You feel like Sungchan always knew what to say to make you feel better.  He knew that you didn’t need to be lectured, but he also knew that you weren’t one to accept mindless compliments.  Instead, he did his best to make sure that you knew that he was always right there with you, through whatever it is you were feeling, finding the middle ground where he could.  You nuzzle into him further, wrapping your arms around him as you close your eyes, ready for sleep.  

“Goodnight, Sungchan.”  

Things might look different in the morning, but you’re okay with what they look like right now.  You feel him pull up the duvet to cover the both of you, he tries not to move too much so as to not disturb you.  You can feel his eyes on you as you drift off, and right before you give into sleep, you feel his lips gently press against the top of your head. 

“Goodnight, y/n.”

-

That memory stings your heart now as you lay here in your bed staring at the ceiling, running moments through your head again and again.  All the warmth has left your room, and what’s left is you, curled up alone in the middle of your bed.  The signs of him that still linger only serve to mock you further, making you come face to face with the memory of what you said.  In the week that has passed you’ve been a shell of a person.  Only able to keep up appearances for work, and even then if someone looked too closely your puffy eyes and morose cadence would give you away.  But if anyone noticed they didn’t mention it, and you’re grateful for at least that.  

You confided in Shotaro 2 days after that night, it had been a tough day with everything going wrong.  Your last straw was your car refusing to start in the middle of the rain, so in your driver’s seat you skipped the scream of frustration and broke down in a mess of tears.  As you pulled up your contact list, your finger lingered a little too long over Sungchan’s contact.  Your mind filled with thoughts of him blocking you, why would he want to talk to you right now, what if you just hurt him more.  You shook the thoughts from your head as you scrolled past his contact and dialed the other person you knew you could trust.  You listened to the hum of each ring, Shotaro picking up on the 3rd one.  

“Y/n? Is everything okay?” 

On the other end of the line you sniffle, staring blankly through your windshield as you let the numbness of heartbreak consume you. 

“My car won’t start.”  

You note the confusion in his voice, and it’s evident in the pause that follows.  You picture him pulling the phone away from his ear to double check that it’s you who called.  On the other end of the line Shotaro wants so badly to ask why you didn’t just call Sungchan, but he can tell by your tone of voice that somethings not right.  When he hears your sniffles he stands to get ready to leave his apartment, gathering his things.

“Send me your location.”  

-

It took him about 5 minutes to get to you, and upon seeing you and the state you were in, Shotaro declared that he would just take you home, making promises to find a way to get your car back to you.  You sit in his passenger seat staring out the window, watching the lights of the buildings go by.  You don’t notice but every 2 seconds Shotaro takes a concerned glance at you through the rearview mirror.  When he notices you shivering he makes sure to turn the heat on in his car, quietly mumbling how summer rain can get cold.  You don’t respond, you just cast your eyes down to pick at your wet clothes.  You wonder if this is how Sungchan felt.  

When he pulls into the parking lot of your apartments, instead of just dropping you off, he parks and shuts off his car.  A beat of silence passes, and you know that he’s waiting for you to start.  You swallow the lump in your throat, letting a new wave of tears fall, accepting that there’s not a whole lot you can do to stop them in this situation.  

“I fucked up.”   

He nods to himself, taking in your words, debating what it is to say next.  He doesn’t think beating around the bush will do you any good, but he wants to be delicate given the state you’re in so he chooses to speak softly.  

“Is this about Sungchan?”  

When he watches the way you clench your eyes closed in an effort to fight the tears, he knows he’s hit the mark.  He reaches a hand out to rub your back, trying to be of comfort as you try and quiet the sounds you make as you cry.  In the passenger seat of his car, you look uncharacteristically fragile.  When you get your voice to feel a semblance of strong enough, you speak.  

“I tried to set him up with Karina because she said he liked him.”  

When Shotaro hears this he cringes, thinking about how it would make him feel, but he knows you better than to think that you would ever do something without a justification in your head.  

“I really thought I was helping him.. I thought maybe I was holding him back from finding the love it is he deserves.. something that he wasn’t finding with me.”

The pain in your voice bleeds through in your final sentence, all your vulnerabilities finally exposed.  From next to you he sighs, and you know he doesn’t do it to mock you.  He’s sympathizing with you, while simultaneously betting to himself that you didn’t convey that pain to Sungchan.  

“He showed up at my door in the rain and confronted me about it.  Somewhere in the middle of our argument he told me he liked me, and I thought he was just saying that to make me feel better.  I panicked and told him I couldn’t do it anymore..”

You hesitate before saying the next part, shutting your eyes in shame.  Like maybe if you close them hard enough you’ll be able to erase the feeling.  

“I told him I never should have let myself believe that we could be together.”  

You cry harder now, guilt overtaking you and making it hard to breathe.  All you can do is shake your head recalling your own recklessness.  

“Shotaro you should’ve seen the look on his face.  He’s gonna hate me forever.”  

You’re no longer trying to stop your sobbing, letting the pain and heartache course through you.  In the worst case scenario in your brain, Sungchan never speaks to you again.  And it’s only been 2 days but you don’t think you can do this forever.  But you’re trying really hard to be patient and wait until he wants to speak to you.  

Next to you Shotaro resists the urge to close his eyes and sighs to himself at his friends’ inability to just be completely honest with the other.  How can 2 people who clearly want each other so bad, be the only 2 people who can’t see it.  He thinks back to how he felt like this was a bad idea, both of you are too vulnerable, keeping things casual not in your vernacular, but he thought you would figure it out.  Even now he knows this can’t be the end of it, but you’re hurting right now, and judging from how he hasn’t seen Sungchan in a few days, he’s hurting too.  

“Sungchan could never hate you, he just needs time.” 

He’s still rubbing your back as you sob, it makes him sad to see his friend this way.  Especially when he feels like all of this could have been avoided easily.

“I know you don’t need me to tell you that both of you messed up because you already know it.  It’s not just you, you might not feel that way, but it took 2 to end up here.”  

It was your slip up that ended the argument, but he knows that Sungchan holds fault in this too.  You both should have just told the other how you feel.  You nod your head at his words, not quite believing them yet as you’re still feeling immense guilt, but you hope one day they’ll click.  He waits until you calm down enough to say his next words, wanting them to stick with you in hope that they comfort you and that you listen to him.  

“I know he’ll come around, and when he does, just be honest with him.”  

-

You hold Shotaro’s words close to your heart in the days following your conversation.  It feels like an impossible task to wait patiently for Sungchan to reach out, but you would wait forever if it meant in the end he would forgive you.  Which is why you do your best not to be heartbroken when Shotaro tells you that after Sungchan’s last exam, he made a trip back home which is where he’s at now.  You recall how he had been homesick towards the end of the semester, so you’re happy as your mind fills with thoughts of Sungchan receiving the love he deserves.  You hope that he’s happy at home, and that despite everything he’s able to have a good time and cherish the moments spent with his family.  

You’re now a full week out from the last time you saw him, and you wake up with hope in your heart for the first time since everything happened.  As the birthday messages roll in in the morning, you’re hoping to see his name pop up in your phone.  But it doesn’t come.  You do your best to stomach the bitter sting as you go throughout your day.  In an effort to soothe it you think about how he’s with his family, and how you don’t want him to think of you if it means ruining that.  But you can’t help but recall the calendar reminder he had proudly displayed to you 2 weeks prior.  

It lingers in your mind as you get ready for your day.  It lingers as you fulfill birthday plans with friends during the afternoon.  It lingers as you decorate your apartment for your party that night.  It lingers so much that by the time it reaches the evening, it feels like it’s eating you alive.  You do your best to remember Shotaro’s words of ‘he’ll come around.’  It’s just so hard.  

You’ve picked up a habit of bouncing your leg these last few days, a manifestation of your anxiety.  You’re doing it now as you sit and watch the clock on your living room wall.  Your last hope is that he shows for your party.  If he doesn’t do that, you’re not sure that there will be any coming back from this.  It’s still an hour out from the designated start time, but the longer you sit here, the more the decorations on your walls start to feel out of place.  The dress your wearing feels more like a costume and less like something you excitedly picked out a month ago in anticipation.  The frilly black fabric shifting with every bounce of your knee.  You fight every urge to get up and go change, instead doing your best to join in on the conversation with the friends who came over early to help set up.  

When people start to trickle in you feel nerves settle in your stomach, unintentionally holding your breath each time the door opens.  Every birthday wish from other people goes in one ear and out the other.  You’re grateful of course, but you can’t help that right now your mind is just elsewhere.  Your friends encourage you to participate in the parties activities, pushing drinks towards you that for the most part go unfinished.  Drinks will only lead to tears.  Through each conversation you smile and laugh, always keeping an eye on the door under the guise of wanting to be a good host.  You catch Shotaro’s eye and he smiles at you sympathetically, the only person here who knows why you’re keeping watch.  

As the night goes on, each minute that passes feels like a lifetime.  Your floors are starting to get sticky with the occasional drink spillage.  The music that plays feels just a tad too loud for your sensitive ears, and someone has definitely thrown up in your guest bathroom by now.  You pray to god that your neighbors forgive you for all the noise.  The mood is starting to shift for you into something a little more somber.  Sungchan deserves time and space, and you know that, but it breaks your heart the more time passes that he’s not here.  When the clock reads 11 p.m., you feel like it’s time to give up hope now.  If he was going to show he would have done so by now right?  

Tears are starting to sting your eyes, and somewhere in the back of your mind you tell yourself that you don’t want to be known as the girl who cried at her own birthday party.  Growing up is supposed to be fun, or at least that’s what has been pushed to you your whole life.  But everything is so awkward and hard.  Like now, you’re aware that you have so many people who care about you, some of which are in the room with you right now.  Yet, all you can think of is the one person who you want to be here right now who isn’t.  You take a glance at the cake that sits on your kitchen counter, counting the amount of candles as you sigh.  Maybe this year you won’t fuck up as bad, maybe this year it’ll be easier.  

When you look up from being lost in thought, you notice how everyone is immersed in their own conversation.  In the back of your head the thought of quietly slipping away finds it’s way into your mind.  You just want to step away and catch a breath, so you can calm down enough and get back to trying to have a good time.  So when the door opens again, you grab your keys and leave, praying that no one follows you.  As you look over your shoulder before shutting the door Shotaro catches your eye again.  You figure it’s good at least 1 person knows of your whereabouts so as you make your way down your building’s stairs you send him a courtesy message.  

You:  Too many sounds and smells, need a min brb :P  

When he doesn’t question it or try and force himself to join you and just responds with a thumbs up, you’re grateful to have such an understanding friend.  Truthfully you don’t really know where you’re going right now, you just wanted to step away for some air.  You contemplated walking to the corner store but that’s probably not the safest idea at this time of night.  As you make the small trek to your car, you’re so lost in thought of where you should go that you don’t notice the headlights coming from behind you.  It’s not until the car rolls to a stop next to you that you’re aware, an all too familiar voice shaking you from your thoughts. 

“y/n?” 

You turn at the sound of your name on instinct, all the feeling in your body leaving you.  

“Sungchan?”

The first thing you notice is that is definitely not his car, the sleek and shiny look a far cry from his beat-up Honda Civic. The second thing you notice is his appearance; you can’t see much but you can see that he’s dressed nicely, shedding his usual street style with something slightly dressier.  Dark tones of the clothing contrasting with his typical muted palette.  It dawns on you with an ache in your chest: you’re matching.  It’s subtle but it’s there, your color scheme looks like it was picked from the same shades.  You notice the present that sits in his passenger seat, glittery white tissue paper sticking out from the baby-blue gift bag.  He clears his throat awkwardly when he notices you staring.

“Were you going somewhere?”

You totally forgot the entire reason you were even out here, your car keys still intertwined in your fingers.  You don’t say anything, just motioning behind you like that explains everything, still in shock at seeing him.  But Sungchan doesn’t care, instead he seizes the opportunity in front of him.  

“Do you want a ride?” 

You don’t even think before you’re nodding your head, shaky legs carrying you over to his passenger side.  He moves the gift to his backseat so you’re able to sit.  When the door closes you try and sneak glances over at him.  Still unable to look him in the eyes, but trying to take in his proximity to you right now.  You’re bouncing your knee again and Sungchan notices, taking in the way the black fabric of your dresses moves with you.  There’s still an awkward air in the car, like there’s so much to say but neither of you know how to say it.  Instead, Sungchan puts the car in drive, taking you away from your apartment.  

“Where did you want to go?”  

You turn the question over in your head, still trying to work up the courage to look at him.  

“Somewhere we can talk.”  

When you look over at him to gauge his reaction you see a small smile make it’s way onto his lips.  Seeing it makes you feel like a fire has erupted in your chest, hope making it’s way back into your heart again.  As the city lights pass the two of you sit in silence, but it’s a comfortable one.  You both know that the other is waiting until you’re able to be in one place to say what you want to say.  The closer you get to your destination, the more you’re starting to recognize the sights of your drive.  He’s taking you to his place.  You think back to all the times you’ve made this drive and the feelings you felt then.  You can’t quite name how it is you’re feeling right now, but you know that this is definitely different from all of those times.  

In the quiet of your own thoughts, you don’t notice how Sungchan is sneaking glances at you.  Doing his best to resist the urge to reach out and touch you just to prove to himself that you’re close to him again.  He white knuckles the wheel the entire drive to his place, feeling relieved when the two of you finally pull into the parking garage of his complex.  You on the other hand feel a wave of nerves come over you as he pulls into his designated spot.  When he turns off the car and settles into the driver’s seat, you try and rack your brain for a place to start.  You spare a glance at the clock on your phone, noting the time:  11:32.  

“It’s late.” 

You say it without any vitriol behind it, simply just looking for something to say to fill the quiet space.  Sungchan knows this, but he still internally cringes at the time, recalling the events of his day.  

“I wanted to be here earlier I really did.  My piece of shit car wouldn’t start.. this is actually my moms.”

He scratches at the back of his head as he says it, slightly embarrassed about having to take his parent’s car.  

“But you still made it.”

He looks up at you when you say it, picking up on the joy in your voice.  When he catches your gaze he can see all of the emotion that lies in it, thinking that his probably looks the same.  

“Of course I did.”  

The way he looks at you sets your nerves alight, and you have to look away to resist the urge to kiss him.  You smile down at your lap, playing with the tulle of your dress, examining the way it lies against your skin.  You pick at a loose thread as you think of a way to say the next part, knowing that you’re going to have to confront the pain it is that both of you went through.  

“I didn’t mean what I said.. you know about us not being together.”

He’s looking at you now and your heart breaks at the fear in his eyes.  The urge to skip the conversation just so you can hold him close makes itself present.  You do your best to move past the discomfort when you recall Shotaro’s words about being honest.  Something about the quietness of the parked car makes everything feel more intimate.  Each of your words holding a little more weight than usual.  

“I think being with you is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but that’s only because I spent the whole time thinking that there’s no way it could have meant anything to you outside of the sex… like it had to be too good to be true.”  

As you recall your feelings you close your eyes, trying to push down the pain.  Your own heart aches for how you felt, you pick at your nails in an effort to keep yourself here right now instead of in the past.  Sungchan can’t help but feel like you feel so far away right now, despite your close proximity.  He wants to hold your hand through every word, sit with you and walk through how it is you feel.  But he sees how much effort it’s taking you to open up and he doesn’t want to ruin it. 

“Having so much of you and none of you at all was eating me up inside.. I thought maybe I was holding you back from the love you deserve to feel and I let my own insecurities get to me.  I’m so sorry Sungchan.  I should’ve said it sooner but I knew you needed space.”  

After all of the words are out, you feel so small.  All of your feelings exposed to the one person who they centered around.  A moment passes, with your words just sitting in the air as you stare at your lap.  When he reaches a hand out to grab yours you feel like you might die.  

“The truth is, after I  left, I immediately wanted to turn back around.”

He lets out a laugh when he recalls that moment.  That was how he knew that all he was ever gonna want was you.  

“I only ever wanted things to go at your pace, which is why I went so long without saying anything.  Honestly I was fine with everything as long as I was next to you.” 

You squeeze his hand at those words, feeling overcoming you.  As you take in his words you can’t help but notice how similarly the both of you were thinking.  He stares at where your fingers are interlocked, thinking about how back then he never had the guts to just reach for your hand.  

“I think I should have been braver and just told you how I feel.”

You shake your head at his words, thinking to yourself that you should have done the same.  His thumb brushes over your knuckles, a comforting motion for the both of you.  There’s one thought that still lingers in your brain, your biggest fear in all of this.  When you speak your voice is a whisper, words hanging heavy to you in the small interior of the car.  

“I thought you were gonna hate me forever.”

“I could never hate you.” 

His response is immediate, looking at you as he says it like he needs you to at least hear that.  You stare at his face, taking him in for the first time in a week.  He looks a little tired, like his rest hasn’t been well, mirroring your own.  But he’s still the prettiest boy ever.  You can’t help yourself now, reaching a hand across the small space between you to touch his face.  The moment is delicate, an indication that all is resolved.    He sits up from the driver’s seat abruptly, like he just remembered something before reaching into his backseat.  He pulls out the gift bag from earlier, placing it in your hands excitedly.

A smile makes its way to your face as you pull apart the paper.  He watches on expectantly, as you come face to face with a small black box sitting at the bottom.  You open it to see a delicate necklace; a simple gold chain with a sun engraved pendant.  He remembers his trip to the mall with Shotaro, how he agonized over finding the perfect gift to display what it is you meant to him.  When he saw the necklace he thought about how nicely it would lay against you, silently hoping that every time you saw it you would think of him.  

As you take it from the box he silently awaits your approval, and it comes when you smile at him and place a kiss on his cheek.  You push it into his hands as you lean forward, Sungchan taking the hint immediately.  Gently, he places the necklace on you, fingers brushing the back of your neck as he messes with the clasp.  The accidental touch sends shivers down your spine, but you do your best to will it away right now.  

“Happy birthday.”

The second the words leave his lips you’re leaning forward over the console of the car to kiss him.  It’s gentle, the way you press your lips to his, Sungchan bringing a hand up to cup your face.  It reminds you of the first time you kissed and you can’t help but smile fondly against his lips at the thought.  He deepens the kiss as you place your hands against his chest to keep yourself steady.  The both of you think about how right this feels, like you were always meant to end up in this moment.  When you pull away to catch your breath, a thought pops into your head.  

“No birthday text?”

You’re just messing with him, trying to make the mood a little lighter but it’s funny to see the way he scrambles to explain himself. 

“I thought it would be too awkward.. you know given the circumstances.”

“..Are you gonna make it up to me?”

When you say those words with a bite to your lip, it has Sungchan immediately leaning in to kiss you again.  You pull away just before he’s able to reach you, a frown making it’s way onto his face at the action.  

“I love you but I’m not about to fuck you in your mom’s car.” 

“Who said we were gonna have sex?”

You roll your eyes at him, hitting his shoulder as he just laughs from beside you.  He steps out of the car, running to your side to get the door for you before you can open it yourself.  It always makes you giggle but deep down you find it extremely endearing of him.  You lead the walk up to his apartment, his proximity to you making you nervous with each step.  He keeps his hands low on your hips as he trails behind you to urge you forward and all it does is send heat between your thighs.  The short fabric of your dress bounces with every step and it drives Sungchan fucking crazy.  He’s practically vibrating from excitement when the two of you finally make it up to his, fumbling with his keys.  You would make fun of him for it, but you’re not faring much better.  

Once your finally inside he’s crowding you against his door, his large frame towering over you.  He brings a hand to cup your jaw, thumb brushing over your bottom lip in the same way he did it for the first time all those weeks ago.  You shy away from his gaze, looking down to try and settle your heart, but he’s not having any of it.  He brings his face closer to yours, lips just barely brushing against yours as he speaks.

“where’d all your boldness go?”

Self-satisfaction bleeds through his chest at the way you can’t look at him.  When the two of you are like this, it’s evident the effect he has on you.  He presses you further into the door, moving closer to you so a leg is between yours.  The lack of having him like this for 2 weeks makes everything feel just on the verge of too much.  When you don’t respond he kisses at your neck, a silent ‘hm?’ leaving him like he’s expecting a response.  He’s grateful for the bareness of your shoulders that your dress allows.  You tilt your neck to the side to allow more room for him as he places a hand on small of your back to press you closer to him.  When you feel his teeth sink into your shoulder you can’t help but whimper, grabbing his shirt in your hands to give you stability.  

Sungchan missed all your sounds, and he missed how sensitive you were.  Each reaction you have to his touch sending him to cloud 9.  The week not talking to you was hell, and although it was the last thing on his mind at the time, the two weeks of not being inside of you was also hell.  His proximity to you in this moment makes him feel like he’s high.  When he feels you shyly grind against his thigh as his lips press against your pulse, he feels like he’s gonna go crazy.  

His lips are back on yours again, the hand on the small of your back urging you to keep moving against him.  As you drag your hips against him you let out little gasps into his mouth as he kisses you through it.  You’re mostly doing the movement yourself, Sungchan’s hand on your back just a silent guide.  It makes you feel dirty as you really take in how you can feel the fabric of his pants on your cunt through your panties.  He can feel the heat radiating from you as you grind on his thigh and it makes him groan.  He pulls away from you then, watching the way you move your hips on your own, eyes closed in bliss as you give yourself over to the feeling.  The sight makes him bite his lip, an idea popping into his head.  Slowly he brings a hand to slide one of your dress straps off your shoulder, playing with the necklace that rests against you, making sure you feel the way his fingers glide against you.  He trails kisses from your shoulder up to your ear, making sure to leave an occasional bite. 

“Just feels so good, hm?”  

As he says this he presses his leg further into you, the new angle making you whine.  The sensations are overwhelming, and Sungchan is using that to his advantage.  You haven’t even made it to his bedroom and you’re practically already falling apart for him, the thought making him painfully hard.  Foreplay with you was always one of his favorite things, he revels in finding out what it takes to get you worked up.  He makes it a silent game with himself to try and see how worked up he can get you to be before he finally gives into what you want.  This is one of those times.  

When he feels your hips speed up in an effort to chase more pleasure, he abruptly pulls away from you.  Without him there to keep you up you nearly collapse against his door, his arm catching you before you give way.  When you look up at him for the first time since making it into his place, the look on his face makes him looks like he wants to swallow you whole.  It only makes you want him more as he pulls you down the hallway of his apartment into his bedroom.  Slowly, he backs you up towards his bed until the back of your knees are hitting the edge.  For a second he just stands there, admiring the way you’re practically shivering.  He brings a hand up to your jaw, tilting your face towards his.  

“What are you so shy for?”  

He smiles mockingly at you as he says it, fully aware of the way he makes you feel.  Typically when you sleep together he never says anything about having to take the lead.  But something about today makes him feel the need to play with you more.  

Instead of answering him, you sit on his mattress, spreading your legs as you do so in an attempt to tell him what you want.  And if that wasn’t enough, you push your hands up the skirt of your dress, hooking your fingers into the sides of your panties before you slowly start to drag them down.  His reaction is almost immediate, collapsing in front of you as he places his hands over yours to help you pull them down.  You would make fun of him for it if you weren’t just as desperate.  

He throws them somewhere on his bed before you feel his fingers trailing their way up the tops of your thighs; you can’t help the way you automatically try and prop your hips up for him.  You both watch the way his hand slides under your dress before disappearing under the fabric.  He looks at you when he finally makes contact with your core.  Sungchan practically moans when he discovers just how wet you are as his fingers explore you.  When he just barely brushes over your sensitive clit, your hips buck into his hand.  It’s completely unintentional and Sungchan can’t help but find it so fucking hot.  He presses his fingers harder into your clit, preening at the way you whine out his name.  

As he starts to rub in circles you fall back against his bed, the feeling just too good.  Sungchan breaks away from you briefly so he can climb on top of you.  Sitting up next to you so he can see all of you.  When you reach a hand out to grab onto the hand that’s propping him up his heart melts.  He leans down to kiss you, fingers continuing to pull you apart just by playing with your clit.  His hand is practically soaked at this point and he resists the urge to bring it to his mouth so he can taste you.  Impatience getting the best of him as he moves two of his fingers to prod at your entrance.  You feel so hot right now against his fingers and if he thinks about it too long, Sungchan thinks he may start to feel dizzy.  

“Such a messy little baby.”

It’s mumbled against your lips as he finally presses his fingers into you, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. He presses kisses all over your face as he eases his fingers in gently, shallowly thrusting to get you to open up for him.  He thinks about how much he missed this feeling and how he’s never gonna give it up again.  When he sinks in all the way to his knuckles he stays there for a minute, enjoying the way you feel wrapped around him.  

He catches you starting to try and move your hips on your own, amused at the way you’re trying to fuck yourself on him right now.  Instead of making fun of you for it, he slowly starts thrusting them in and out, making sure to press against your upper walls with each slide into you.  You bring your knees up to your chest so he can slide in at a better angle, and when you do the feeling is heavenly.  You can hear the sounds your pussy is making and it makes your cheeks burn, hands coming up to hide your face.  All Sungchan can do is coo down at you, leaning down on his elbow instead of resting on his hand so he can be closer to you.  

“My pretty birthday girl.”  

You missed his pet names so much, a possessive feeling overcoming you at the thought of how often you’ll get to hear them now.  You turn your head to the side, and when you do you see your panties.  Sungchan follows your gaze, looking at the delicate piece of fabric that lays against his sheets.  As he stares at them it makes him think of the other pairs you’ve given to him, starting with the first pair you gave him the first night you hooked up.  You never asked him what he did with them, just handing them over to him if you caught him looking at them too longingly.  Eventually they would be returned to you anyway, but as you stare at them curiosity burns through you.  It’s like Sungchan reads your mind, because as you stare at them he speaks up.  

“Do you want to know what I do with your panties?” 

The look on his face is mischievous, eyes full of lust as he spares a glance down to where his fingers are still buried deep within you.  You feel a third start to press against your opening as you nod your head.  When he gently starts working the third one into you he tells you.  

“I keep them for the nights when I’m really horny but can’t get to you..”

After his fingers are sunk all the way in he stills them again, letting you adjust to the stretch of the additional finger.  

“When I just can’t get the way you sound out of my head.. every little reaction.. the way your eyes get watery when you want to cum.. the way you take everything I give you so nicely..”

Sungchan can physically feel the way his words are affecting you, each dirty sentence that falls from his lips causing you to squeeze down around his fingers.  It only fuels the fire he has to keep going, making eye contact with you as he speaks.

“I just can’t help but touch myself to the thought of you, you make me so hard it hurts.. but sometimes it’s just not enough.” 

He shakes his head as he says this for emphasis. He’s moving his fingers now, thrusting all 3 of them into you at a steady pace, the way his knuckles rub against you feeling heavenly.  

“In those moments, I take your panties and I wrap them around me as I get off.  It’s kind of cute it’s like you’re there with me.”

He smiles sweetly as he says this, like he didn’t just confess to you that he jerks off with your panties.  

“If I need you really bad, sometimes I’ll just breathe them in.  I can always still smell you on them and it drives me crazy.”  

His dirty confession makes you feel like your whole body is on fire.  You think about Sungchan in this very room, lights dim as he jerks off with one hand holding your panties to his face.  You think about him with them wrapped around his cock.  You think about how he’s returned every pair to you after about a week, and how you’ve gone on to wear them again.  You’re starting to think perhaps he’s a little more possessive than he lets on.  When he sees the dazed look on your face as you take in what he says he feels satisfied.  He can feel you clenching around him sporadically now, making sure his palm is grinding into your clit.  When your body seizes up he’s right there next to you, kissing you through your first orgasm of the night.  It’s sweet the way he tries to ground you with gentle presses of his lips against yours as you cling to him like he’s your lifeline.  Sungchan thinks he might pass out at the way you clamp down so tightly around him, imagining how you’ll feel wrapped around him.  He’s brought back to the present when he feels you start to push on his hand, the sensitivity a little too much.  

He let’s out a sheepish ‘sorry baby’ before he gently slides his fingers out of you.  You lie there, just breathing and trying to catch your breath as Sungchan presses the occasional kiss to your face, just observing you.  

“You okay baby?” 

There’s genuine concern in his voice, and it makes you feel warm inside the way he checks up on you.  

“’m good.”  

You smile up at him, bringing a hand to his face so you can cup his cheek like you did earlier.  

“You’re so pretty, Sungchan.”

You find it amusing how he blushes at the compliment, like he didn’t just have his fingers buried in you.  You sit up from your place on the bed and he follows your lead.  He’s so hard it hurts, but if you were done for the night then he wasn’t gonna say anything.  When you reach a hand to start palming him he feels like he might combust.  He stills your hand, stopping you from touching him so he can check in on you.  

“You want more?”  

You pout your pretty lips at him, nodding like it’s the most obvious thing in the world because of course you do.  

“I need you inside me.”  

He definitely wasn’t expecting you to say those words, shock evident on his face making you smirk.  Truthfully you can only be bold when your head is completely clear, your post orgasm clarity giving you a level head enough to fuck with him right now.  He gets up from the bed to take off his clothes, finally revealing himself to you.  When he takes off his shirt, you blatantly ogle him, having been deprived of the sight for too long.  You move to stand so you can pull off your own dress but he stops you before you can.  

“Leave it on.”  

His request sends heat down your spine, making you needy again.  You watch as he makes his way to his bedside drawer to grab a condom, words falling from your mouth before he can reach for the handle.  

“Wait”

He looks up at you, confused as of to why you stopped him so suddenly.  You look away shyly, trying to find a less awkward way to say what you want to say, but you find that there isn’t one.  

“We don’t need one..”  

He stares at you like a deer in the headlights, shocking him yet again.  Don’t get him wrong the prospect is exciting and makes him feel like he might die, but he has to double check.  

“You sure?”

“Please.”

That’s all it takes before he’s finding himself back to you on his bed, sitting up against his headboard.  You make your way over to him and he helps you climb up on top of him.  When you feel the familiar touch of his strong hands helping you in place you just about lose it.  If there’s a feeling you can claim that you missed the most it’s definitely that one.  He pulls down the top of your dress to expose your tits as you’re sat back on his thighs.  He leaves kisses all over your chest, sucking marks where he can as you press your chest closer to his face.  When he's satisfied he pulls away, pulling you closer to him so your hips hover over his.  

You’re sat on top of his lap, dress now hiked up around your waist as you cling to his shoulders.  Nails pressed into his skin, you shook with the effort to hold yourself up as he slid his cock through your folds, gathering your wetness.  Each slide against your clit had you gasping, doing your best to stay still as he prepped himself.  When his tip caught on your hole you couldn’t help but whine, composure slipping slightly as you pressed yourself down, nearly fitting the head in before you felt his strong grip on your waist, pulling you back up. 

“Let me take my time.”

You shiver at the display of strength and authority, clenching around nothing as he goes back to sliding his cock between your folds.  Sungchan was always patient with you, doing whatever it is that you wanted when the two of you fucked. Seeing him take what it is that he wanted instead of giving into you immediately only made you more turned on.  So you sat there as he toyed with you, his satisfaction growing at seeing you be so desperate for him, taking what he gives you without complaint even if it’s just minor touches to your clit.  When your head starts to droop, he leans forward, mouth next to your ear as he speaks.  

“You want it baby?”  

When you feel him prodding at your entrance again you let out an embarrassingly loud whimper.  

“Please Sungchan”

He slides through your folds again and you nearly wail, impatience growing within you.  

“But I dunno if it’s gonna fit baby.. it’s been two weeks..”  

He pouts at you in faux sympathy, withholding himself from you to make you frustrated.  When you feel him bite your earlobe as he teases your entrance again before sliding away you finally break.  

“Sungchan it hurts, you’re being so mean..” 

Your voice is so whiny when it comes out you barely recognize it.  He pulls away from your ear at the sound to look at you and the sight nearly makes him lose all of his self-control.  Your eyes are hazy with lust, a frown worn on your pretty face, your kiss-swollen bottom lip quivering, birthday dress completely disheveled; he really has pulled you apart.  

“Please make it better, just need you to make it all better it’s been so long.”

Hearing you beg for him, it takes all his strength and then some to not push into you without warning.  But it’s been too long and he doesn’t want to hurt you, no matter how mean he’s being right now.  

“Am I being mean to my sweet girl?”

He laughs to himself when you nod your head.

“Want me to kiss it better, hm?”

“What I really want is for you to fuck me.”

He senses the snark starting to creep into your words with your growing impatience and in an effort to show you where the power really lies right now he rests the head at your entrance.  It takes his everything not to laugh in your face when immediately your demeanor changes, eyes going soft and jaw going slack.  He would do this all night to you if you let him, but his resolve crumbles the next time you speak.

“Sungchan please.. ‘s still my birthday.  Want to be spoiled by my boyfriend..”  

You know you’ve got him when you hear the way his breath stutters in his chest, hand on your waist tightening.  It’s like he’s in a trance the way he leans forward to kiss you, it’s messy and when he pulls away he’s leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck.  Finally, finally, he’s pushing in, giving in to what you want and what he’s been making you wait for.  It’s so agonizingly slow, you know it’s for your own good but even then you’re just so impatient.  When you feel the head slide past that tight ring, you feel the air get knocked out of you, it’s just been too long.  Sungchan’s not faring much better, teeth grit with his hands on your waist, trying to remind himself that he needs to take his time for you, no matter how wet and hot you feel on his bare cock.  You’re just so tight, and with each bit he pushes in further it’s like you just get tighter.  

“Let me in baby.”

“’m trying.”

The way you’re clenching around him is almost too much to handle, but you can’t help it.  In the two weeks the two of you have spent apart you’ve managed to forget just how full he makes you feel.  You’re shaking like a leaf with each inch he slides in, the stretch just bordering on too much.  When you finally feel your hips touch his you try and relax against him but you’re just so sensitive.  You press your face into the crook of his neck as you try and even out your breathing. 

“Still with me?”  

You don’t trust your voice right now so you just nod, keeping your face hidden.  Sungchan lets you take your time, waiting for you to make the first move.  He can feel the way you’re clenching around him as you try and adjust to the size, fingers digging into your sides at the feeling.  When you experimentally rock your hips he lets out a groan, nearly crying when you motion for him to start helping you.  

He helps guide you up, taking it slow as you sink down.  The first thrust stealing all the air from your lungs.  In this position he’s just so deep, it feels like you can feel him everywhere.  You continue with your slow pace, Sungchan being patient as you try and get used to the feeling.  He presses a kiss to your temple, waiting for you to let him guide the pace. You sit up and all you have to do is pout at him, Sungchan immediately taking the hint.  

His grip on your sides gets tighter, and you revel in the thought of there being marks left on you again after so long.  When he starts controlling the pace, helping you rock up and down, you bite at his shoulder.  The sounds you make only fuel him to start bringing his hips up to meet yours.  When he does he feels you cling onto him tighter, scratching at the tops of his shoulders.  

He knows he’s fucking you good, and it strokes his ego so much, knowing that only he can have you this way.  He looks down at where your connected, bunching the skirt of your dress up so he can see it fully.  The sight of him sinking in and out of you fills him with a sense of possessiveness, but also with a sense of pride.  Because now he knows that its him that you want.  

“Sungchan.”

You moan his name so sweetly he wants to hear that sound for the rest of his life.  He pulls you away from the crook of his neck to really look at you.  You’re so disheveled, looking the epitome of fucked out.  He knows that he’s not gonna last very long, and judging by the way you’re squeezing around him he can tell you aren’t either.  He puts all of his effort into fucking you as good as he can, each thrust hitting you just right.  You hear him whine as he’s getting close, his movements growing sloppy.  When you finally cum it triggers his own release, his head falling into the crook of your neck as he thrusts up into you.  He shivers as he fucks himself through it, the feeling of filling you up at the forefront of his mind.  Like clockwork he asks what he always asks, but it means something different this time.  

“mine?”

“all yours.”

He collapses against the headboard when he finishes riding out his high, holding you in his arms.  You’re both a mess of sweat and sex, but it doesn’t bother either of you.  You know that the cleanup has to eventually come, but you’d rather sit in this moment a little longer.  When his fingers trace along your back, he feels nervous at the question lingering on his lips. 

“Want to go on a date tomorrow?”  

He feels the way you hold him a little tighter, pressing a kiss to his shoulder before looking at him.  

“Of course.”

[queenpiranhadon]

A/N: AHHH ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT ARE YOU CRYING YET?? IK I AM 😭😭 Thank you @cashmoneyyysstuff for supporting me throughout everything. Here’s the masterlist!!!

Warning(s): Cursing, reader is the daughter of Aizawa, Shinso and Eri are biological siblings, reader is 20 years old, Reader uses "Cattus" as her alias, reader's nicknames are Cactus, Cattus and Cat, war, reader gets hurt and burned alive (a lot), reader runs away again, Kirishima’s just the best, character death, gore and blood, bad war descriptions lol what do you expect from me, reader is AFAB and female, ANGST, someone breaks into reader's house, Eri sleeps with reader bc she's traumatized, PTSD, mentions of burns

Pairing(s): Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴇɪɢʜᴛ: Retreat

When you wake up, you’re in Chiyo’s home - in the same bed you found your father in all those months ago. 

Your head feels like cotton, even blinking makes the world around you dizzying. Everything hurts, so much you feel nothing, pain so intense it’s numb. 

The last thing you remember was being burned alive. You mentally laugh at your predicament, feeling so out of it that you couldn’t bring yourself to physically do so. Why couldn’t you die?

Immediately, everything rushes back to you, but yet the answers brought forth bring too many questions for you to process. 

Was your family okay? Where’s Ejiro? Seriously, how are you not dead?

Just then, the door opens revealing your family rushing to your side, each with looks of either worry or relief on their faces. You smile weakly, but it lacks warmth. You’re too exhausted to show any form of genuinity. 

Eri takes your hand, sniffling softly, your heart breaking as you can do nothing but watch as your younger sister cries, in too much pain to really do anything. Hitoshi and your father stand there in silence comforting the young girl. 

Entering right behind them is Ejiro, who bursts in, with tears streaming down his face. 

“Cactus, you idiot.” he scolds, but you know he doesn’t mean it, choking on his own tears, enveloping you in his arms. You don’t realize you were crying until the rough pads of his fingers swipe across your face, callused skin felt scarily soft in comparison to your own charred flesh. 

“I missed you, Y/N.” he says, you want to respond, but your vocal chords were too damaged to create any noise. Your heart throbs, and more tears slip from your eyes. You were so glad Ejiro’s okay, but damn your head hurts, your body hurts, your heart hurts, it hurts to function at this point. 

Chiyo enters the room, shooing Ejiro and your family out, insisting that you need rest. You made a mental note to thank her later. You loved your family and Ejiro, but right now, you just wanted space to process everything. 

When they leave, you cry. Your life… it was gone, with these darn burns that covered your body, muscles weak and unusable- would you never be able to walk, run, fight anymore? The thought only makes you cry harder, heart aching from everything that’s happened, wishing that maybe, just maybe in another life, you could be happy. 

Maybe Bakugou would like you, maybe you never went to war and you could’ve happily with your father and siblings - you could’ve been Maid of Honor at Ochako and Izuku’s wedding, or judgmentally sit on the couch with your father and brother as Eri brings home her first boyfriend. 

You just wanted a chance to enjoy the mundane things in live, realizing with a sinking heart that you would never be able to - the chance gone before it was even presented to you.

Sleep overtook you soon enough, thanks to the sedatives Chiyo gave you, and you drifted off, finding solace in your subconscious. 

Why me?

***

It’s the dead of night when you wake again, with a pounding headache- a noise from somewhere in the room startling you awake. 

In the moonlight, you see two carmine eyes staring back at you. Immediately you think of Bakugou, body tensing up before you catch a glimpse of silver hair, realizing it’s your younger sister. 

She steps up to you, tears forming in her eyes again as she takes in your state, your skin black and pink at the same time- even a small gust on wind is enough to make you wince. 

“Hey Cattus.” she whispers, the old nickname turned new name startles you- given how much work you had put in to forget the name entirely, along with the memories that went with it. 

Eri gingerly brings her hand up to stroke your forehead, more tears slipping from her eyes. “I’m scared, Y/N. It’s just so terrifying seeing you like this, you always work so hard for us, I…hate that I never realized I took you for granted.”

Your eyes widened by a fraction, wishing you could talk and console her, telling her none of that was true, and that you owed it to her as her older sister - but you remained infuriatingly silent, frustrated by your lack of ability to do anything. 

Eri wipes her tears hastily and lets out a watery laugh. “Look at the irony- I’m taking care of you this time.” she takes your hand. “I’ve been working on something…before you woke up, I went to the markets and I found this mage…I got this vial from her. Well technically, I got two, but I wanted to make sure it worked before I gave it to you but anyways-”

Your sister cuts herself off, and looks at you, holding your gaze with determination. “While you were gone for those seven months, your garden died out, but I poured one of the vials over the roots- It grew back Y/N! Overnight! The only problem is they returned to their normal state after around two weeks, which was the night before you woke up. But the mage will be in town all month, so I can stock up and you can keep taking it until your body takes over naturally! I think… I think it’ll work.”

Your stare at her in disbelief. You were out for two weeks?! You couldn't believe it. You want to cry, you want to sing, you want to hug her, but you can’t. 

“I’ll make you better Y/N, I promise. It’s the least I can do.”

Eri gives you the vial that night, tilting your head back and tipping the concoction into your mouth, the liquid tasting strangely sour, but bitter as well. 

As soon as you swallow, you start to feel drowsy, falling asleep as Eri strokes your hair soothingly. 

***

When you wake up, your burns are gone. The hair that has been burnt off has grown to its normal length, and it doesn’t hurt to swallow anymore. 

Eri’s there by your side, curled up against you, asleep. 

“Morning ‘nana” you croak, tucking a strand of her hand behind her ear, unable to keep the smile out of your voice. It…worked?!

Eri’s red eyes blink open sleepily, disoriented before she realizes that you were speaking. 

“Y/N! It worked, oh thank the gods…” she whispers, holding you tight. 

You wrap your arms around her, and stare at the ceiling. The gods had given you another chance, even if only for a little over a week - but why? 

***

You spent the next few days relearning everything- from how to eat, walk, and eventually fight. Everything you knew was muscle memory, but with new muscles itself, you needed to adjust. 

Thankfully, Ejiro was there. That morning, after Eri left, your red headed friend had come in to stop by, already informed of the vial- and you explained everything. To say he was shocked was an understatement. 

After he got over it though, he did tease you the slightest bit about your crush, but left it alone for the most part, knowing that physical ailment and heartbreak were both terrible by themselves, but together they were terrible to deal with. According to him, the man named Dabi had escaped, but he and his men had fled after you had passed out- seeing Ejiro, Tenko, and the rest of his troop return, with the orders to protect the village after intercepting a message that was coincidentally meant for the troop that you had fought all the way back in the Chira Forest. Just the thought makes you think about Katsuki. 

First, he helped you walk, guiding you slowly around the room until you finally got the hang of it, laughing and jumping, and crying all at once as you slowly regained your life back. You’d never been more grateful for your best friend, helping you as he always had after your mother died, always being your rock. 

For once, you had hope. 

Slowly, you moved on from the mashed fruits and liquids, making your way to solid foods, starting with bread, to vegetables, and eventually you got used to using your jaws again too. It was funny you thought, getting so emotional over a loaf of bread, but the feeling of digesting solid food was so…liberating? At this point, you’d been healing your broken body for 9 days, feeling more like yourself each second. By the fifth day, Chiyo had decided to let you return home, the contents of the vial speeding up your recovery fairly quickly. 

And so, you started to train again. 

You found some more of the bladed stars your father had given you in your room, deciding that you should refresh on your aim. 

It didn’t go as you planned. You ended up impaling it in a nearby tree, one managed to get stuck on your roof, and another almost ended up killing your brother when he came outside to bring you a glass of water. 

But you couldn’t stop. 

By some miracle, your skills slowly improved throughout the day, your body remembering what to do- from stance to the smallest tensions your muscles needed to create.

It was sunset now, and you dropped your sword, falling into the soft grass below you and soaking in the coolness it provided, allowing yourself to let your body rest, sinking into the ground. 

But you couldn’t shake off the feeling that there was something you needed to do, something that you were missing. 

***

You invite Kirishima, Ochako, and Izuku over for dinner that night, and it’s almost like you’re taken back in time, to the night before your life changed. 

Your two childhood friends greet you with crushing hugs, a tearful reunion as they fret over you, checking for injuries. 

Ushering them all to the table, Hitoshi serves the food, bowls of salads, assorted fruits, and a plate of chicken - Kirishima’s favorite. 

You can’t bring yourself to eat though, picking at your food with a fork, and deciding that there was no point in sitting at the table and not doing anything. 

Excusing yourself from the table, you stand up and place a bowl over your food- intending to eat later. 

“I’m going to go over to Chiyo’s and ask for some pain medication.” you lie, smiling as you leave the dining room, a chorus of “Bye!”s heard from the table. Putting your boots on, you leave your home, sighing as fresh air fills your lungs. 

What’s wrong with me?! You think, as you walk down the cobbled stone path that leads to the center of town. You should be happy, you have your life back- what was happening? Why wasn’t everything back to normal- why couldn’t you go back to being who you were?!

When you reach the town square, you see a small boy huddle next to his sister, both most likely around Eri’s age, with tears streaming down both of their cheeks. Your older sister instincts kick in, and you rush to their side immediately. Their names come back to you, remembering how Chiyo used to babysit them, eventually ended up living with the Midoriyas after their father left to go work for King Nezu in the capital. 

“Katsuma, Mahero, is everything alright? Where’s In- Mrs. Midoriya?” you asked worriedly - before noticing the paper in their hands.

“Papa…he’s going to go fight the bad guys in the capital because all the troops are being sent there…but Papa can’t fight!” Mahero trembles, the worry evident in her voice. 

“I’m scared…” is all Katsuma says, barely a whisper.

Bad guys…in the capital?! How did Inimicus manage to infiltrate Vitoris?! Anxiety gnaws at you from the inside, but you push it down, knowing that your own worry would only agitate the children more. 

“I promise everything will be alright. Our army is strong- and your papa will come home safe. Now, let’s go find Inko.”

***

After returning the kids back to their parents, you finally assess the situation. Bakugou, Denki, Hanta, Genken, hell- even Fern Bat, they’d all be in the capital soon - with no way to know what they’re getting into. Dabi…he’d burn everything to ashes. You feel sick to your stomach at the thought. Your friends…dead? Bakugou may have broken your heart, sure - but you didn’t hate him enough to wish death upon him. 

Shit.

You knew what you had to do.

***

You really hated lying to your family - considering the first time you left without warning it didn’t end so well. 

How ironic is it, that for the second time in a row the night after having dinner with your friends and family, you decide to run to fight for your kingdom?

You get back home late that night, packing a small bag with a week’s worth of food - bread and some dried meat - slipping into your brother’s clothes and putting your hair into the same knot you did when you first left- the experience felt almost like a hallucination, as if you were sent back in time, relieving such a pivotal moment of your life. Except this time, you were prepared. You knew what you were getting yourself into. You had your sword, and your stars, and you knew what was coming.

It felt unreal- all the progress you made, finally coming home, getting your life back, only to go back to square one. 

You sighed. This better work.

***

Sneaking out of the house, you make your way down the cobbled path again, heading to the fields where you knew the horse you had rode here on all those months ago would be - having seen the steed galavanting around happily. You felt guilty, taking it away from its new home so soon, but you had to go, soon. 

However, you couldn’t find him, his distinctive white coat should’ve been a stark contrast to the darkness of the night, and yet he was nowhere to be seen.

In the midst of your anxious searching, you don’t realize the figure approaching you. 

“Where are you going?” 

You might as well have been scared shitless, hand on your sword- whirling around to meet a troubled pair of red eyes. 

“E-Ejiro…” you ask in disbelief. “How…”

“Y/N, you’re not that discreet.” He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “You’re going to the capital, aren’t you?”

He phrased it like a statement, not a question. Were you really that easy to read? Or was it just because he knew you so well?

You can’t bring yourself to look at him, staring downwards. “Ejiro, I have to do this- they’re not going to stand a chance! You know what Dabi’s capable of, the whole future of Bellorant is in danger here!”

“Well what about you?!” Ejiro snaps, his voice low in order to not wake up the entire village, but it was deafening all the same. “What about your life, about your safety?! You were burned alive, Y/N- you’ve almost died, twice! You’ve only had a week to recover, you need rest!” 

You can only stare at him blankly, feeling your heart snap in two. “I need to do this, Ejiro. What’s the point of staying safe if this will eat away at me for the rest of my life?! I can’t do nothing- yes I’ve almost died twice, but I’m still alive right? That has to mean something.”

Ejiro sighs, and you can see the conflict in his eyes. Running his hand through his hair again he looks at you with a sad smile. “I can’t stop you, can I?”

You shake your head, returning your gaze to the ground. 

“Then I’m coming with you.”

Your head snaps up at that, opening your mouth to retaliate, but Ejiro beats you to it.

“You’re not the only one who's had to fight before. So if I can’t stop you, at least let me protect you.”

You feel the tears build up in your throat as you wrap your arms around your best friend, hoping the action is enough to convey your gratitude. You’d both come home safe, you promised to yourself, for Ejiro’s sake.

***

Due to last minute changes, you ended up buying some more food at the next village, letting your horse rest before continuing on your journey to the capital, using the map Bakugou had gave you when you made your way home seven months ago. 

“Hey…are you scared?” you ask, breaking the comfortable silence that settled between the two of you.

Ejiro looks at you, weighing his words before sighing. “Yeah.” he admits “I don’ t think I’ll ever not be.”

You appreciate his honesty, and yet - you can’t help but feel the knot in your stomach twist with uncertainty, subconsciously rubbing your index finger against your thumb.

Retreat. 

***

It’s been five days now, the sun sinking below the horizon as you approach the gates of Vitoris, dismounting your horse (that Ejiro now has affectionately named Samantha, even though your horse was a male) and setting him free, Ejiro following suit as you realize with a sinking heart that the gates are demolished, charred holes burnt through the once durable metal and the gated entrance blown wide open.

Shit.

Running past the gates, you see masses of soldiers, Inimicans and Bellorans alike. It’s a massacre, you see familiar faces from your own troop dead- and it’s horrifying. 

Drawing your sword, and Ejiro doing the same, you charge, fending off the black clad soldiers as best you can.

You try to formulate a plan, attempt to find out the easiest way to figure out how to end this quickly, but your mind is filled with thrust, parry, dodge, and so on, your mind trying to keep up with your body. Striking the last of them down, you spot a flash of bright yellow hair in your periphery. 

Denki! He was alone, fending off at least five men, and was bleeding from his torso. Shit!

You bolt for the blonde, leaving poor Ejiro to catch up with you, catching the five Inimicans by surprise as you slash at his back. 

One down. 

Four to go. You and Ejiro each take on one, while Denki takes on another, a deadly dance and a challenge too. Luckily, you knew this dance. 

You bring the butt of your sword crashing down onto the top of your opponent’s head - the impact strong enough to cause him to stumble back, giving you the opportunity to kick him in the chest, sending him flat on his back. He’s unconscious, the impact of the stoned pathways knocking him out. 

Wait. There were four soldiers you had to fight. Not three. 

Whirling around, you realize with a pounding heart that it’s too late - watching just as the fourth soldier impales Denki in the abdomen from behind. 

“DENKI!”

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[natalie-goodmn]

Next to Normal round 3 thoughts:

there’s a lot of things I noticed this time that I didn’t before but that’s just bc as a Natalie stan I must be looking at her the whole time

- I never noticed Gabe throwing Dan’s keys in Just Another Day before that’s SO funny

- I also finally saw Diana kiss Henry, she really WENT FOR IT

- is it just me or does the Wyndhams need to turn up their mics?? Maybe it’s just that I need it In My Ear Canal but I’ve noticed the singing is a bit quiet (I also didn’t notice this in Oklahoma)

- I love Gabe holding the microphones to Natalie and Dan during their I’m Alive dialogue. He might be a demon with the spirit of a dead two year old but he’s sooo silly :D

(this is getting long so more under the cut)

- something something Natalie playing her fake keyboard with the band’s piano behind her, something acting and pretending like she’s a normal person with a normal family

- I just realised that Gabe AND Natalie licks up Diana’s leg. Diversity win

- the parallels of Gabe and Diana reaching out to each other in Im Alive vs Natalie reaching down to her in Wish I Were Here (and maybe Catch Me I’m Falling) i feel sick,,,

- Gabe holding Diana in I Am the One like Henry’s holding Natalie, welcome back Freudian Gabe

- also the head kiss parallel with Gabe in Just Another Day and before he’s about to leave in I Dreamed a Dance

- the blood is so visceral but a part of me misses the bway staging too where they just walk off slowly and as dr madden talks abt Diana’s attempt. It’s basically the same thing but the reveal felt slower idk

- also man every time I miss the donmar staging of the one tiny bit where Dan’s going “Is this helping or? Di?” as Diana just walks off and back to the therapy chair. Idk it just felt like dissociation better to me, but I do like Ominous Circle Of Thinking

- I also love love love how they play the “I love you as much as I can” in this. They play it like a failed charm roll, and you really get everyone’s frustration and that she’s trying hard

- and then in Maybe when you see that Diana actually knows Natalie deeply bc she’s like her,,, hold on. Similarly, I love how the first person Natalie hugs in act two (I think?) is Diana instead of Henry. Me when the real story is between a mother and daughter (mamma Mia who)

- Diana rolling her eyes and mouthing ‘oh my fucking-‘ to Dan going “can you tell me what it is you’re afraid of” is maybe the best representation of anxiety and I’m not even kidding, MOOD Diana

- god I know it’s been in all the productions but I love how much agency Diana has, you rarely see it with mentally ill characters but she’s so funny and knows what she wants and I love her

- everyone’s said it, everyone knows it but JACK WOLFE god he’s amazing every time

- I’ve thought this both times, is it just me or when Gabe is silhouetted (I think with the music box) is his neck like inhumanly thin??? Like genuinely asking, I don’t think that’s Jack’s neck?? Is it?? Am I just misunderstanding human anatomy when someone wears a hoodie

- I’ve said it before but I Am the One reprise is one of the best scenes in musical theatre and it should end there. I’m a Light hater SORRY, I like the message a lot but it’s always felt like a studio note or something where they’ve been told that it has to be uplifting at the end or it’ll do badly and make everyone sad

- natalie,,, covering her ears and her big headphones. Autism. Also really love Eleanor’s portrayal of her anxiety. Instead of Jen’s anger, she has a hamster like anxiety quality to her (complimentary)

- also I swear I see no one talk about it WHEN GABE TOUCHED NATALIE’S HAND??? AND SHE NOTICES SOMETHING??? That’s new for this production right?? Theories???

- Natalie starting to tidy up Gabe’s toys,,, she’s breaking the cycle,, she’s the hope. And playing with them with Henry and showing him the bunny toy 😭

- I’ll say it. The “you’re like number one on my list of problems” doesn’t work that well if you don’t have Jen and Adam’s sarcasm. Too earnest. Banned.

- I’ve said a lot abt this Henry but I actually like this act 2! He plays him v desperate and anxious which I don’t think Adam does, it shows the stakes for act two. Also his arc UGH. From being a Dan parallel where he’s saying he’ll be perfect for her and that he wants who he knew and that he’ll stay anyway because he made a promise to,,, the dance and saying that he’ll stay bc he loves her and he doesn’t care if she goes crazy

- Also I think Natalie mouths ‘help me’ as she stops Henry from walking off in A Promise owwww

- also Henry apologising to the pianist after the recital (I think?) and picking up Natalie’s bag from the club 😭

[ww2yaoi]

if web had gotten wounded in the patrol how do you think joe would've reacted? cause we all know (= like to think) he was worried about web in that one scene with the whistler, but idk how he would've acted on his worries had they come true🤔 would it depend on how serious the wound was? would he feel even more resentment cause web just got back and got hurt again and was once again to rest while they all have to keep working? if that was the case would the relief that he didn't die like jackson overshadow this resentment? idk i feel like i don’t know him well enough like you do to imagine this😭

first of all, I'm very amused that you think I'm some sort of joe liebgott whisperer. like we watched the same show don't doubt yourself and your interpretations </3 but yeah I guess I have been studying the blade for a while

okay. is it too much of a cop out to say yes literally all of that is going on inside of joe at once? but yeah, it would depend on the kind of wound web got because that would probably change the scenario. I guess I'll give you two answers then:

scenario 1: the wound is another clean, superficial million dollar wound like the one web got in holland

I think joe is more likely to be resentful and angry in this scenario. like you said, web hasn't been on the line as much compared to the other guys. they haven't had a proper break in months. while obviously getting wounded isn't fun, web had been lucky to miss out on bastogne. I think part of joe is constantly wrestling with his deep bitterness over web not being there to help them out and experience the misery he experienced and his relief that web wasn't there. because let's face it, he wouldn't wish that kind of shit on anyone. the way I characterize joe is he's in a constant push and pull with his very real firy resentment and his good heart. he has a lot of internal conflict because he's so angry (and traumatized) that it causes him to lash out. but later I think he regrets it because he's a kind person with a gentleness and generosity that's innate to his character

so, on the surface, yes, he would be very angry that web is getting out of it yet again. but I think another part of him would be glad because maybe this means web gets out of the war, if not unscathed, then at least alive. after all, web did get joe out of the patrol, and he was trying to prove himself in part because of how joe treated him. who knows, maybe if web hadn't stuck out his neck joe could've been the one who had gotten hit or killed. joe knows this. obviously, he would be pissed that web was leaving yet again (and I could talk about joseph "abandonment issues" liebgott all day) but I think his anger would burn bright and hot and quick and eventually his feelings of guilt and sadness would probably overtake it. I think joe and web would work things out eventually there would just be some hurt feelings as per usual with them... they don't communicate for shit or say what they mean because they're both scared and out of their depth and trying to uphold their facades because they care so much what the other thinks of them but they can't know it blah blah blah

scenario 2: the wound is serious, life-threatening, web might not die but he's in bad shape

I think joe is less likely to be angry or resentful in a scenario where web is hurt badly and genuinely in danger. I think he'd be pretty upset honestly and feel guilty over how he'd been treating web those past couple days. I think he'd also be afraid that his behaviour pushed web towards proving himself on the patrol and might've been the reason why web got hurt. however, I think joe would rather chew glass than express any of this to anyone, let alone web, which would cause him to be very touchy and stressed out and he'd probably still lash out in some ways.

I had a convo about this scenario with tierney/@kbsd and we talked about how joe would probably do other things to show he cares because he's such an actions over words kind of guy. he can't admit his feelings whatsoever. anyways, we thought it'd be a funny scenario if joe was always hovering around the hospital (say they're back in mourmelon and web is being treated there) and he keeps pissing off the nurses with his presence because he's checking up on web and bringing him the newspaper and like pestering the doctors about when web's bandages were last changed when web is asleep and can't hear it and just being a jerk and a nuissance and they're like can you please go away jesus fucking christ

anyways, I kind of lost the plot did this even answer your question at all

[crazylittlejester]

A warriors…meets…cia again fic???

hold up lemme just—-

😎

😳🕶️🤏

he is only ten years old jes. Devastating. (*adds it to my future a03 bedtime stories to-read later*)

it was like a four word prompt sent in by an anon that’s grown into a huge multi chapter thing because I didn’t expect it to get as long as it has and now I’m realizing I have to break it up into chapters 😭 I’ve literally been working on it for like… five months, poor Mandarin Wars Anon has had to deal with my dumb ass getting too carried away with things and I’m so grateful for their patience 😭 It’s been scrapped and completely rewritten at MINIMUM like six times now, the plot has been COMPLETELY changed, it’s been a wild ride 😭 I’m sticking it in my ‘You’re A Part Of Me’ series which has been a bit fun because i get to drag little elements from past fics in that series into this one. small enough things that someone who hasn’t read the series won’t feel like theyre missing something but people who HAVE might recognize the reference

the plot has sort of turned into a murder mystery almost… im losing my mind, genuinely, i’ve put so much time into this fic

it’s also something i’ve been struggling with the rating on for months, because while I do not write explicit things (because that is my personal preference), the themes are a bit heavy, and because of that I decided I’ll be raising the rating to M. Which has also just allowed me to add in other things unrelated to the initial reason I was worrying over the rating and not worry about thinking “is this too violent-“. A while ago I considered writing two versions of the fic because I know a lot of people who’d been following me back when I got that prompt in the first place were really really excited about it, but that’s a lot of editing and I’m not sure how many people are still that into it 😭 So i’ll probably do a poll or make a post or SOMETHING to see if people would want a T rated version, if enough people do I’ll edit the fic

to be so so clear tho: the main reason this fic is going to be rated M is because of heavy themes, heavy discussions, and trauma related to a past event, i just wanted to play it safe. since deciding i was going to rate it higher, ive allowed myself to throw in more detailed descriptions of violence and nightmares and shit like that. and the main part of the fic that made me first think i should bump the rating up is going to have like *** in the text before and after it so people can just skip that if they want, cos if I’m gonna write a fic about trauma, then i’m gonna write a fic about trauma. and this is my free therapy so 🕺🕺🕺

anyways, i don’t wanna say it because i feel like then it’s just not gonna happen, but I’m hoping and PRAYING i can post the first chapter when Mandarin Wars Anon gets back 😭 fingers fuckin crossed. AND THE FIC ACTUALLY HAS A NAME NOW, WHICH IS FUCKING CRAZY AFTER FIVE MONTHS OF JUST CALLING IT “Mandarin Wars Anon’s Fic”

also i’ve been debating letting Time just go absolutely batshit towards the end of this fic because he kinda deserves it, as a little treat, yknow?

i really hope it lives up to the expectations🧍‍♂️ ive felt a lot of pressure while working on this cos so many people have gotten excited for it and im a BIT worried its just going to absolutely suck, so if i drop it and disappear off the face of the earth for a bit its because the anxiety ate me alive

[lecl3rcw]

𝒜𝓁𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝓎𝑜𝓊 | Prologue

Authors note: Hi guys! This is a mini series and my first one at that so I’m a lil scared😀 but I really hope you like this story because I’ve been planning it out for a while now😭 but yes this story will contain angst, and like a lot of fluff:) but yeah I hope everyone will like it💕

This is a prologue!!! A lil chapter on the sister’s dynamic and the exposition!!

____________________________________________

The Parisian sky roared as gentle raindrops started to fall against her apartment window. The girl was in her painting studio, where she spends most of her time anyways. Her headphones blasting her favorite song as her shaky hand outlined the last of her painting. As she was about to finish, the ringing of the bell startled her, she groaned as she took her headphones off and went to open the door. When she did tho, she was met with her two older sisters, one carrying the bags of groceries and the other carrying a toddler.

“Oh sorry guys, how long were you out here” she says feeling a little bad. “Don’t worry Y/N, not for long” Her oldest sister Adriana says placing the toddler on the ground as she gives her sister a soft smile, to which she reciprocates.

“What were you doing anyway?” Her middle sister, Julianna asks, “I was just finishing up the last of my painting before my flight tomorrow” she says as she bends down to the toddler’s level, squeezing her in a tight hug as her heart warms at the giggle her niece lets out.

“How are you feeling? I mean leaving so abruptly” Adriana asks putting last of the groceries away, “I feel good, I just need a change of scenery, I don’t think I can live here after everything that has happened” Y/N replies, standing up and going back into her studio. An uncomfortable silence fell upon the two older siblings.

“Julie, I’m really worried about her, she’s not processing anything correctly, she’s refusing to go the therapist, and now she’s moving to a whole new country, where she knows no one, I really don’t think we should let her go” Adriana mumbles anxiously.

“Ada listen, I don’t want her to go either but she’s not a baby anymore, she’s 19 and she’s very responsible, and it’s not like she’s going on vacation, she’s going to study and holding her back from her passion isn’t helping, plus i can go visit her when the Spanish grandprix happens, we have to trust her, she wants to move on with the whole situation with mom and we have to respect that” Julie says rubbing her sister’s shoulder.

The three girls had lost their father at a pretty young age, however the loss of their mother was still very recent. Almost like the ghost of her still haunts them three, everything about her, they miss it all. They stood there silently, uneasy and clenching their heavy hearts.

Once Y/N finished her painting, a genuine smile came across her face. Painting was a passion that she picked up from her mother, that’s how Y/N wanted to keep her memory alive.

y/n.hirose

liked by julie_hirose, adriann.a, alexandrasaintmleux and 48,000 others

y/n.hirose a recent painting dump 🫶🏻

Comments

julie_hirose Si talentueux💕 (so talented)

^y/n.hirose 😚💕

elainejohansen ugh my best friend is too perfect😔

^y/n.hirose I miss you Lainey🥲💕

alexandrasaintmleux je l'aime tellement😍 (i love it so much)

^y/n.hirose merci mon amour😘 (Thankyou my love)

julieslefttoe her hiatus has ended y’all🤭

charlessssluvrrrr her and Alexandra interacting is genuinely my favorite thing ever🥰

y/nhiroseswardrobe Y/N please post more pics with your incredible outfits🥹

adrianstoofine she’s such a W

Scrolling through her Instagram comments made her feel a litttle happy, with Julianna being so famous, it wasn’t odd to see all her fans being so nice to her. Her peace got interrupted by Julie calling her name.

“You called my name?” Y/N says stepping out of the room, “Well, since you’re leaving, we’d thought that maybe we could make something together and just watch a movie” Adriana speaks, a smile adorning her face, “Princess and the Pauper!!” Adriana’s toddler, Suzette speaks up excitedly clapping her hands, “Well if Suzu wants to watch Barbie, then Barbie it is” Julianna says lifting the little girl up causing her to let out a squeal.

adriann.a posted a story

seen by charles_leclerc, y.n.hirose, julie_hirose , and 70,000 others

The rest of the night was spent well, jokes were traded, all the food Y/N had made was conquered. Adriana had gone to sleep as Suzu had started to get cranky, leaving just Julie and Y/N. As the two girls were tyding up, Julie said what had been on her mind.

“Y/N listen, I just wanted to say that I’m so proud of the person that you have become you’re so grown and independent and I could never be more proud to call you my younger sister. I just want to say that no matter where you are in the world, me or Adriana? I’m only one call away and don’t be afraid because this is a big step in your life and we’re here to support you through it no matter how much it hurts us and I know that it’s gonna be hard but mom would’ve been so proud of you. We all are.” Julie says cleaning the kitchen counter.

“Julie!? Did my food poisoning you? because why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden” Y/N says dramatically checking Julie’s temperatire warning her a shove. “ this is the last time I’m being supportive of you that one time I decide to be nice and you take advantage of that, so is the last time so live in the moment” she says rolling her eyes, “Thankyou Julie, I love you” Y/N says hugging the taller girl tightly, “I love you too sis, now you have a flight at the crack of dawn tomorrow, so don’t worry about cleaning I got it, just go get some sleep alright?” Julie says pushing Y/N into her room, “Goodnight Julie” she mutters, earning her response.

Once she was done with her skincare, she slipped on her silk pajama as she laid in bed overthinking her decision, is this the right decision, am I doing the right thing, what is this is a mistake?

She groans into her pillow as sleep overtakes her body, with many things she wasn’t sure about, there was one thing she was sure about and that was “Madrid, here I come” she says before sleep finally overtakes her body.

[campbyler]

mmm what the fuck?

how am i supposed to live like a normal functioning person after experiencing the full range of human and Inhuman emotions?

thea i love u i promise but i also want to kill u in the most cruel way possible.

i was trying to read 32k words one hour before the work and failed Miserably 😭 i only get through driving lesson part. can u believe i had to do actual work the entire day instead of reading my gay fanfiction? 💔heartbreaking misogynistic And homophobic if u ask me.

anyway. i know im going to forget something. it always happens and then im too shy to send other asks so let hope it doesn’t happen this time.

driving lesson.

don’t worry about ur manual transmission description. i’ve changed three instructors in the span of year and a half and all three of them told me different things. i didn’t notice any Big Serious issues that would be at odds with driving mechanic.

to the other news. will sucks 😭😭 not his fault Obviously. he’s naturally anxious and tbh mike didn’t give him any hints about how to feel when the car is ready to go. not mikes fault too. i bet he doesn’t even think about this little thing anymore (and cause u don’t know about them either. which is ok don’t worry about it. u probably just need to experience it ti fully understand). i was so happy when will finally manage to get the car going 😭😭 i probably called him baby too.

and then i literally passed out when i saw the mike called Him baby?? first will’s brain in denial made me questioning was it really for him or for the car. cause mike Loves that car i wouldn’t be surprised if he really call it baby from time to time. but then i remembered that we know how mike feels thanks god and i became like 85% sure that it was for will. (i also Run to check playlist right after this line. yeah i found “king of my heart” there. u make the impossible possible cause why am i listening to two of my least favorite reputation songs and genuinely enjoy them?)

i mentally add the keychains to the list of things we need to know more about. but i think it’s cute that they both not only save them but also use them almost daily. and they both choose car keys to hang the keychains on. dare i say soulmates.

*two weeks later*

also i think it’s funny they consider each other hot while driving.

and of course mike is obsessed with old expensive cars!!

are the malls in the us exactly dying? my office building is near the mall and i can guarantee u that in my country they r super alive.

ok i might be wrong but i think that the deleted scene is from bookstore part idk.

i think it’s cute that they trust each other enough to allow to choose as significant item as journals concerning that they really picky about them.

and i loved that mike blushed over a simple kiss 🫶🏻🫶🏻

(i feel like i want to catch up on everything and it’s killing me cause i write down one thing and immediately remember the other 😭)

THEY WERE SO BOYFRIENDS IN DINER!!! i don’t think i will ever recover from how cute they r and how much they actually like each other (and how single i am. as the classic said “when someone will prey on my neurodivergency….” and so on and so forth). i love that everyone can see it and im obsessed that boys don’t even want to deny it. i think a lot about the fact that mike said that they middle school sweethearts like he regrets about the missed opportunities (but also he doesn’t regret cause the thing they have now (at this exact moment. cause i still have bad feeling) is like that Because of years of semi-friendship and rivalry and unsaid confessions).

and i think even more about the fact that mike didn’t want to talk about his pretentious ivy league college. squinting so hard and taking a lot of notes (in fact writing paragraphs of analysis to my friends who has no idea what acswy).

the photobooth scene!!! omg i can’t believe u almost deleted it all??? suni is our hero! lots of hugs and kisses and thanks to them!!

i can’t believe mike talked about showing pictures to their friends in one minute and literally kissing will on them in the other. i love them they r so silly and in love and can’t get enough of each other. u can feel how close they become and that the air is thick with the newfound (and rediscovered) feelings. and they can’t live without touching and the hold hands constantly!!! all day long!!! and it’s not enough!!! and oh. i think it wasn’t the last time we saw pictures (squinting even harder).

the way max immediately cut the bullshit and asked about swearshirt. i need to know what lucas wrote to mike.

he likes him!!!

i love the difference between mikes “i know i like him but i won’t do anything about it” and wills “i need to kiss him to death right now!”

and the kiss on the backseat of mikes stupid mustang!! we were all waiting for it!

i think i reread and memorized the last part and in still shaking whenever i think about “nervous” part. mike makes will nervous!! and he makes him shake and do stupid stuff like kissing and blushing and thinking to add heart next to his name and call him his boyfriend!!! omg!!

“I’ve got you, baby” WHO WILL GET ME??? im the one who is going insane??? it’s so tender. my boys 💔💔💔

(the second time. my eyes r hurting from squinting that much. and i feel like we’ll have “el’s not stupid” kind of scene in the flashbacks)

this character hits so hard!! i’ve never doubted any of u but i can see why this one is one of ur favorite thea!

thank u so much for ur hard work. if i could draw i would to the whole ass animation of this chapter (and any other too).

love u. thank u for reading all this rambling

mmm what the fuck is RIGHT alya bc this is how i feel every time i read one of ur lovely essay comments. bc whaqt the fuck. why do u want me to CRY ALL THE TIME. (i guess it's fair considering we are making u cry with the fic itself but still . Rude)

you are so real for trying to read 32k in one hour and also so me . rly fucked up and cruel that you would have to work (even tho u threatened to murder me)...i hope you are freed from these perils Soon. don't ever be too shy to send more asks tho every ask from you is a BLESSING and a TREAT!!! EVEN WHENTHEY ARE LACED W THREATS!!!!!!!!!!!! and also tysm for validating my manual driving lesson description bc fr every video i watched was different and i was so stressed but it's FINE. ALYA SIGNED OFF ON IT SO NO ONE ELSE MATTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEAL W IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! will Does suck and that's one thing we can all agree on 💗💗💗 i was going to include a bit about likee what the engine Sounds like bc i know it sounds different when you're ready to switch gears but honest tbhly the driving scene alone is like 12k and i was super losing steam by the time i thought of it so i didn't <3 he is def a baby and mike def refers to his car as baby so he is right to be confused. but it WAS for him!! we actually aren't 100% sure of mike's feelings Yet (ch08 is meant to be the precipice of a realization, not an actual one) but obviously . we do have a pretty good idea of how he does feel. teehee. also i am glad you are enjoying komh now bc wtf......how is it one of your least faves................i support you but i am also judging u a little alya .

i think keychains will be included in one of the companions :o) also OBVIOUSLY they find each other hot while driving. they're both annoying and down bad 🙄🙄

malls here are super dying!! i think the only ones that aren't are ones in Major Cities (there's two nearby me that are pretty popular, but the other ones are mostly closed, and it's definitely been a phenomenon in the us over the last few years thanks to online shopping)!! the deleted scene is actually from the driving scene, but the bookstore scene Feels shorter bc i was truly at the point where i had nothing left to give when writing it (it was the last part of ch09 to be written), so it definitely suffered from that. if we ever do Huge post-mortem edits once acswy is over, i might go back and add to it, or write a deleted-scene-type companion, but tht's the tea w the bookstore scene <3

the diner scene was SOOOO fun to write and it had me blushing frfr. i answered this in another ask but the middle school sweethearts comment was Definitely the most insane thing that i thought of for this chapter and to me it was for sure the nail in the coffin for will of like damn. ok. he's Serious abt this. bc i think with their #history that will has trouble admitting even to himself that he likes mike, and so he'd need to feel pretty certain of how mike feels first, and after processing the middle school sweethearts comment later in the car that's what made him realize like oh damn. i Do like him. SO MUCH. and we all nodded and patted his back and said yeah baby we know. but what you described mike thinking is absolutely exactly how he feels 💗 very reminiscent and wistful, even.

LOL LITERALLY THIS HAS BEEN A UNANIMOUS COMMENT ACROSS THE BOARD OF "THANK GOD FOR SUNI" (INCLUDING MYSELF). to Explain the way i was feeling about it -- i did not initially mean to have that be a Spicy make out moment! it was supposed to read more along the lines of the thrift store scene, or even the kiss after will finished driving the mustang, so very sweet and soft and Romantic. it just didn't come out that way once i was actually writing it, and so i was nervous that i was toeing the line too heavily, or tht it was out of place with the rest of the vibe i had constructed for the chapter. a combination of suni (and abby, who got early access and acted as our second beta) being adamant that it Did fit and worked well, and me being too pressed for time/not having enough energy to rewrite that saved it from the deleted scene graveyard <3 thank god fr. they are both so fucking stupid.

the entiiiiire realization scene up from will realizing he likes mike to the very end of the chapter is my favorite thing that i have ever written i think 💗 i am just so happy with the way it turned out, especially with it being at the point in the fic that it's at!! it felt rly right for will :') also mike calling him baby!!! that was such a last minute decision but i'm so glad i went for it!! the original line was "i've got you, yeah?" but baby hit So much harder so shout out to editing thea for making that change 🤸 will wants to add a heart next to mike's name in his phone SOOOO BAD!!! WHEN WILL HE GET TO!!!!!!!!!!!

your second ask SO TRUE SO REAL. TEEHEE AND MWAHA AND SO ON AND SO FORTH. also you're so right jonathan is so fucked up for stealing steve from will like that 🙄

tytyty as always for your novel length comment alya 💗 really and genuinely and truthfully the thought of getting to read ur reactions is one of the most exciting parts of uploading a chapter!! i eagerly await all of ur other reactions <3333

[everythingwasnormalhere]

hi thanks for the headcannons! I really enjoy them ⭐️⭐️

just for background information that I realized I left out,

in my headcannon Craig has Macular degeneration, so the headcannons we accurate imo 👍

so feel free to add to this LMAOO (not needed) ((also don’t apologize for the long headcannons it’s what I wanted)) ((( also the star one made me so sad oh my god him not seeing the stars and just breaking down crying due to it 🙁💔)))

looked it up and macular degeneration is a bitch fr... one of the first symptoms to show up "trouble with seeing in low lightning" (cue the guy who's obsessed with space) my son 😭

craig with the 'tism already having trouble with faces since before, now he cant really remember what anyone's face looks like<3 you're welcome

i aint sure how he'd feel abt going on disability tbh- internalized ableism + if he finds a job he likes + too much effort = no going on disability ever. on the other hand though, he qualifies and it would genuinely benefit him, so idk. if he does work, astronomy related stuff, like hell he's giving up on that (and again, he has all the stars memorized, so he already has an advantage lol)

the thing abt becoming disabled is having to mourn your life before it, the life you could have; but you also need to keep yourself alive and not fall into negativity. it sucks ass, it looks like there's no hope, but life goes on so you prevail. i wanted to give that feeling to the other post. it sucks, he will mourn, there are things he might miss forever. but he will survive, find joy, find a future worth living<3

i guess thats why i like this type of headcanons, too

[ahappydnp]

okay i'm gonna make seperate posts for the highlights but here are my raw thoughts from my notes app as i watched

dnp 10/19/15

“hello everybody welcome to the show hello everybody welcome to the show” nostalgicccc wahhhh

all these 2015 younow top fans feel like distant relatives at a family reunion 

this is their one day off between shows and they’re doing a liveshow (2015 work schedules at it again but also those younow contracts really made them go live ANYWHERE)

them talking about what they do during their shows and they’ve retired the drawing game and guess the crime rip

if this were current times phil would have just drank out of dan’s bottle without a second thought but i still love that he snatched it so naturally asdsafsgjk

dan asks them how they’re feeling and phil is “interested” in the words

“imagine being ecstatic right now” PHIL ILYSM

“happy 6 year friendaversary” and 6 years of dinof (phil remembered but not dan). they reallyyyy moved past that to focus on dinof lmao

they’re anti spoiler policy and don’t want to talk about it all the time (which is so interesting because you can tell they’ve kept that thinking except promo is important these days, especially for dan during WAD some promo would have massively helped)

dan split his pants and phil bonked his noggin on stage (it’s still them <33) phil has a steel head 😭

phil wants to put a camera in a penny and just see where it goes (he’s so beautiful i love him dearly). do you think you’ve ever used a coin benedict cumberbatch 😭

DAN DO YOU KNOW WHAT YAOI IS

love phil just taking over the liveshow and telling dan they’re going to try and think of a better name when dan just wanted to move past it

pretty odd opinions (phil singing nine in the afternoon changed my brain chemistry jfc)

A level geography + phan 4eva

dan got an A in case you forgot

WAIT WAIT WAIT for the us tour (dnp doing everything themselves is still insane)

“i’m guessing one of you as probably uploaded the video of this already and thank you for doing a service” dan used to be Such an advocate for fan reuploads for accessibility and i genuinely love him for it 

phil likes being remembered :3 the 1975 remembers them 

they like touring <33 try new things!!!!!!!!! “five people die” and you don’t wanna know who adsfdgsfgkj phil stopped the whole bus for a fish and chip shops HE’S SO VALID ILYSM KING 

a fun fact about them seeing derren brown in 2012 is they accidentally left their tickets at home and then had to go all the way back in a taxi to go get them 

OMGGGG DANS NOSE TOUCHED HIS SLEEVE!!!1!

martyn shoutout (remember when IRL was good 😭)

dan coughing in his face is sooooo current dan like that is dan on the gaming channel in 2024 

your enemies didn’t get a good morning (funniest man alive)

bbc breakfast show is like a plain yogurt but nana watches it. the infamous squirrel bite story <33333 phiw

GET OVER IT HE ENJOYS A THEMED DRINK GET OVER IT

dans loubs are on akinator (the time on the internet when you quite literally could not escape dnp was so special)

miss dan’s tv show rants soooo bad waahhhhh pls come back and yell about shit 😭

THE BEST MOMENT IN ANY LIVESHOW EVER phiiiillll 

dan’s face talking about the 3D movies…i fear i love him too much :((( let him watch the movie

them writing that dan’s chair is hiding a huge secret….

genuinely it’s so so incredible how much they loved the book and how much care and effort they put into something they could have very easily just slapped their name on 

dan thinks an apocalypse is going to happen..he was pregnant with WAD here

my favorite thing is the MINUTE they hit that hour mark phil gets “”hungry””” without fail like yes kings get that minimum and dip <33

[uvachic1991]

I should be asleep, but I’m still thinking about the latest episode of The Witch from Mercury. I’m not sure how the finale will go (or if it will be a season finale or a series finale). But something I’m deeply curious about is what will happen between Suletta and Prospera. So here are some sleepy thoughts and theories about Suletta, Prospera, Eri and how their story will end: 

There is a slight possibility that Eri is alive in some capacity after the end of episode 23. But I think Eri as we knew her is completely gone (which 😭😭😭). So what will happen to Eri’s mother and younger sister? Will they really be able to move on as a family like Miorine offered? Will Prospera even want Suletta now that Eri is [most likely] gone? 

For most of the show, Prospera has shown a smug confidence that clearly unnerves everyone who interacts with her. Delling was always wary of her. Miorine didn’t trust her or her intentions with Suletta. Belmaria was afraid of her and what she was capable of. The only person oblivious to Propera’s true nature was Suletta for obvious reasons. Prospera had a carefully crafted plan and was confident she would succeed no matter what. She adjusted on the fly when something didn’t work out exactly like she wanted it to.

So for much of the show Prospera was a woman who didn’t let anything get too deep under her skin. If there was a problem, she would handle it and get things back on track.

Yet the only instances where that confidence falters or isn’t present is in the most recent episode.  I’ve only watched the series once, so I may have missed a moment or two). 

First, there’s a notable lack of reaction when Suletta lays out her feelings while fighting Eri/Aerial. I don’t remember the exact wording, but Suletta says she wants to be the one to comfort Prospera when she’s crying and the camera pans to Prospera who, interestingly doesn’t much of a reaction. Her head piece covers her eyes which often reveal so much emotion in humans. I’d like to think Prospera was genuinely touched by Suletta’s words or maybe she felt some deeper connection to her other daughter. Maybe it was a flicker of that love that Prospera says she has for Suletta that’s been nonexistent for much of the show (at least to me). Whatever her emotional reaction was in that moment, Prospera felt something towards her other daughter and hid it as best she could.

(This moment is also interesting because it suggests Suletta has likely witness Prospera crying and has either been rejected when trying to comfort her mother or knew not to interfere. Or it could be a callback to the visions Eri passed Suletta in episode 19 or 20, I can’t recall). 

Then when Eri shields everyone from the super secret, deadly space laser, Prospera cries out for Eri to stop and appears frightened for what would come next. This is the strongest reaction we ever see from Prospera and it feels the most genuine out of everything we see. I don’t even think that was Prospera that we saw in that moment. It was Elnora Samaya who once again had to confront the possibility of losing her daughter. If Eri is truly gone, then what sort of emotional state will Prospera/Elnora be in when the next episode begins? Will she sink into a depression? Apathy? Shut herself off? Her driving force has been to create a world for Eri to live in, no matter the costs. And now, regardless of if Eri is still alive or not, that future is forever closed. 

Now Eri is gone and what does Prospera have left? Suletta? The daughter she loves, but has also abandoned multiple times? The child that she fed to the wolves? Will she really want Suletta when she will always be a remainder of Eri, the child that she lost TWICE? Can she even be a parent to Suletta when so much of their relationship has been exploitative and harmful? 

For Suletta’s sake, I hope Prospera and Suletta can build something together. I think Suletta is strong enough where she can survive without Prospera. (She has Miorine, Earth House and others in her corner. She’s better connected to her school too.). But she loves her mother and sister and I’m sure she’ll always want them to be with her. 

But I also imagine an ending where Prospera rejects Suletta. Miorine calls Prospera out for failing to love her daughters equally and Prospera counters that people won’t understand. I think at this point, Prospera is still so deep in her grief and longing for a better future, that she likely can’t accept what she currently has (i.e. Suletta). What even is a world without Eri? Will Prospera want to live in such a reality? She spent two decades planning to reunite with Eri and now she’ll have to find a new way forward. Will Prospera want that for herself?

[Miorine calling out Prospera is so fascinating because Miorine is operating from a place of once having a mother who clearly cherished and loved her daughter. And Prospera is both similar to and yet so different from Notrette]

I think most likely the Mercurys ending will be a combination of the two potentials: Prospera, once again grieving the loss of Eri, acknowledges she can’t be a mother to Suletta, but Suletta, being the kind-hearted and compassionate person that she is, keeps the door open for communication and a connection later down the road. It’s not a happy ending, but it’s not gut-wrenching either. And it’s probably the most narratively satisfying ending for them. Because the parents in this show are far from perfect. They may love their children, but they’ve also caused significant harm to all their kids and that tainted how their children showed up in the world. Prospera and Suletta have far too much baggage that they can ignore. And again, there is a big question as to if Prospera will even want something with Suletta now that Eri is gone. So the best we can hope for is an ending that’s not overly positive, but not totally negative either. 

[im-out-of-it]

part 3A of throwback to season one and special edition of season 2, episode 10 “by the light of dawn” and then I’ll return to part 3 starting tomorrow (I’m sorry I’m so tired 😭)

season one has so many moments of Alec’s development and it’s very important to point out because Alec gets left behind in the books. I can count so many moments where I’ve read or watched any person in the lgbtq+ community who gets left behind, has ridiculous tiring tropes pushed on them, and who gets every single problem put on them. and while there are things I disagree what the show did, we should hand it to them for what they gave us.

Alec doesn’t matter in the books because CC made it that way. she wanted to kill Alec off after the first book, alec continuously gets mistreated by jace, and their parabatai bond doesn’t mean shit until jace needs something, and CC did not care about Malec until it made her money. I’m sorry but I don’t believe her excuses of “we were afraid we couldn’t print this material” like if you’re going to treat the gay couple like utter shit, I would rather (and this is just me) leave them out. it breaks my heart and makes me sad when I see the gay man constantly being treated like shit and being treated as if he doesn’t matter. book Alec deserves better and I’m sorry, but I don’t like book Alec, Malec, or Magnus. no our Alec isn’t biphobic and no our magnus communicates healthy and they aren’t full of drama because one is a bisexual and the other is gay. whoever wrote show Malec alec and Magnus, that’s who I would want to write those books. because book Malec didn’t deserve the treatment they got

this moment in episode 12 of season one “Malec” is so important because it’s the final time Magnus pushes Alec and Alec is stuck between not knowing what he wants and not thinking he can have what he wants. I shared in part 2A from season 2, episode 6 where Alec says he didn’t think he could have what he wanted until he met Magnus. and I think those feelings are extremely real in the episode above. and I love love love that the show decided to give Alec more opportunities and screen time. you know, instead of shoving him to the side and ignoring him

and here’s the other ones I missed

I always find the gifs when I don’t necessarily need them. I want to point this one out because Alec did ask Izzy how she was and noticed something was off: (and I get why Izzy said what she did but come on, if anyone cares about Isabelle the most, it’s Alexander Gideon Lightwood, her brother)

(but it’s also important to remember that Izzy is far into her addiction. she’s not thinking rationally but thinking of when she can have blood again because that’s how her addiction started. the yin fein which I believe makes her feel alive, great, how she can accomplish anything. it makes Izzy feel like she’s on top of the world- or that’s what I would imagine. so as much as it’s easy to be like what the actual fuck Izzy, she’s not thinking clearly at the moment.)

I’ll never get over how Alec thinks for a few seconds that Magnus could be dead AND HE DIDNT TELL MAGNUS HOW HE FELT

these gifs are so beautiful (HARRY IS SO BLOODY FUCKING TALENTED like he’s just good at expressing subtle emotions and not always saying a lot but you can see his pain, sadness, love, fearlessness, just every emotion you can imagine)

anyone: I love you

Alexander Gideon Lightwood:

I love how this scene itself is so beautiful but can pull at your heartstrings at the same time

THE GENUINE FEAR IN ALECS EYES

that is it for the three main special edition parts. I really didn’t think it would be this long but to be fair, I never do. I have so much love for show Malec, show Magnus, show Alec, show Izzy, show Raphael, show Maia, show Simon because the actors and actresses took the shitty parts of their characters that were put into the books and made them twenty times better. like you can hate on the show all you want and say it’s so cringe, it didn’t follow the books- LOOK I DONT GIVE A BLOODY FUCK!!!!!!! it’s so much better than the books and all of the people listed gave us so much more. so yeah I’ll always post my love for show Malec because they gave us EVERYTHING

I’ll return for part 3 tomorrow. I wanted to do more tonight but I’m feeling more sick and weak and need some time to recover but I’ll see y’all soon (IM SORRY)

[star-girl69]

DUDEEEEEE. She calls me baby youuuuu ate that harrrrrrrd. Like I had to go back in for seconds and thirds and fourths fr fr. Cause are we even surprised or are we just grateful that you give us mortals a second of your time and talent????

Babe you are so incredibly talented. The way you write is sooooooo amazing its like you just know how to manipulate your words into something that will and has had me in tears in like 2 seconds. Don't even get me started on how you write your characters. Like I don't know how I can fully and most genuinely express the astonishment you leave me in all the time.

I believe that you are one of a kind and a treasure to be cherished. I know that doubting is inevitable but I hope that you know that I'm always gonna be in the obsessed with addie corner no matter what. Like I meant it when I said that there won't be a time when you have no fans. Ever. You will forever be my favourite gorgeous goddess❤️❤️❤️.

-❤️

(I'm sorry I've been so absent school has been actually eating me alive)

(I think about you everyday though and it makes life just that much better)

(I hope you don't think I'm exaggerating😭😭😭😭All of this that I've been feeling without releasing had to be sent in a long ask my bad)

(I missed your little bonuses though, I hope you're doing okay)

(I'm always here for anything you may need, even if its literally just to tell you how amazing you are)

(love you ❤️)

#jealousclarissesupremacy

I WAS WONDERING WHERE YOU WERE I WAS SO WORRIED I SMILED SO HARD WHEN I GOT THIS ASK 🤭🤭

I CANT THAT WHOLE SECOND PARAGRAPH LIKE I CANT LIKE WOWWWW YOU THINK THAT???? ABOUT MEEE??!!!!??!?!?!?!!

TREASURE IS INSANE BTW 🤭 anyways omg. i’m so grateful wtf like i’m sorry i cant come up w something more poetic like you i just love these asks so much i get so happy and idk how to express that other than ilysm and i’m just so happy and so so grateful

also gorgeous goddess… i giggled 🤭🤭🤭

(ITS OKAYYYYY IM GLAD YOUR BACK SCHOOL HAS BEEN COOKING ME TOO 💔💔)

(EVERYDAY??!?!?!?! i think about you everyday too tho….. thinking about that one day you were so active and i got like 5 asks from you… BEST DAY OF MY LIFEEE) (also pls don’t take this as me pressuring you TRUST i am grateful for whatever you give me 🙏🙏)

(STOP. I. LOVE. LONG. ASKS. DONT ANNOY ME BY DOUBTING MY LOVE FOR YOU!!!!!!!)

(idk i’m okay i’ve just been really feeling pressured to write stuff bc the fandom is dying down (guys pls come back) and i am now firmly addicted to the praise and number of notifs i get…. lol. the bonuses have always been weird bc sometimes they come so easily to me like the first one i did was so it goes and i didn’t even have to think about it and then someone said they liked it so i went back and did it to my other fics and started doing it and idk yeah basically what i’m saying is sometimes they’re so easy and other times i have to force myself to come up w something which sucks but people like them so i’m happy to do it!!!!)

(tbh i’ll probably go back and add a bonus to she calls me baby bc i have just a little teeny bit of ocd and it will bother me but also i’m trying to let the little things go but idk we’ll see how strong i am 😭😭)

(sorry i will stop ranting now) (shoutout to anyone who actually reads that incoherent ramble)

(i need to be told how amazing i am 24/7 so that will be hard 😔) (BUT I APPRECIATE YOU SAYING THAT)

(LOVE YOU TOOOOO 💋💋💋)

#iagreesobad

[normalgirlatron]

AUBY THOUGHTS💥🎉‼️

how i feel about this character

this is so evil of this to be a question. if i could cremate my heart id do that and thats how much i love aubrey ok. i am sick… she is so misunderstood. nobody gets it. like oh my god. she’s perfect. also she’s a lesbian. and she has bpd. and she’s better than you. and she’s actually a really kind person beneath her mean girl front so it doesn’t make sense when people dumb her down to an insensitive, cruel person… she’s not that at all!!! she’s genuinely kind and wants peace! she wouldn’t just be angry and cruel??

all the people i ship romantically with this character

kim and honestly i’m a heavy monoshipper on that… genuinely don’t think omori’s a game for shipping whatsoever EXCEPT for kim and aubrey because that’s the only one that really makes sense? like of course aubrey would wanna date somebody… and kim’s her best friend and the only one she really Trusts like that… it just makes sense 😭 however for sunny and basil they’re not in the proper mental space for that and then like. kel’s gay idk and who’s he gonna date if not sunny 💀 who. isn’t ready to date. and also kim just seems to understand aubrey in a way that is meaningful to a girl who has been abandoned and abused/neglected her whole life!!! and of course that’d turn into something more. it’s real to me

my non-romantic otp for this character

MARI. even when mari dies she’s still there for aubrey, much better than everyone else tried to be, and aubrey loves her so much and still makes time to see her… it’s just a really sweet gesture to me and shows how much she really misses mari and valued her friendship while mari was alive you know! like fawk. that was her older sister figure!!! aubrey didn’t really have a family growing up so mari was able to be that for her and it made it so special and 🥹 augh. best friends. i can’t talk about them for too long without getting emotional… but they were best friends. they’ll always be best friends even though mari will forever be 15 and aubrey will keep growing up 💔 mari’s still her best friend

my unpopular opinion about this character

was she a bully to basil? YES. i won’t deny that. but is she a bad person, or even really a mean person? fuck no! and i DO excuse her bullying basil!!! what she was mad about he didn’t do but when you really think about it he’s kind of terrible 😭 yes maybe he was 12 but when i was 12 i didn’t think hey lemme fake this girl’s suicide instead of calling for help… and then he proceeded to keep it a secret + have sunny keep it a secret too and like😭😭😭 it’s all basil’s fault dude it’s crazy… id bully him too bye. also aubrey apologized as best she could for the later stuff, people always talk about forgiving basil for his arguably more shitty actions than being a high school bully but they’re so quick to condemn aubrey for ?? mishandling the pain she’s been battling her whole life (that basil made 10x worse mind you)… and you want me to forgive basil and defend him from her… get serious like she’s 16 hdhfhdhdj this isn’t even everything i could say but i need to CALM DOWN

one thing i wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

she beat the shit out of basil in 4k hyper realistic animation