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gaykarstaagforever · 2 months ago

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Heathers (1989)

"If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you?"

"...Probably."

[TRIGGER WARNING: The movie is about murder, suicide, depression, anxiety and bullying, and it's a Rated-R movie from 1989, so SA is going to keep coming up. I'm going to be referencing all of that in this review. Also I'm a gay man and will be teasing people who have made this movie their personality, so tap out now if you and your cool vinyl collection can't deal with that.]

The movie starts as a fun black comedic take-down of saccharine 80s John Hughes teen romance movies. New-kid-in-school badboy edgelord JD, and repentant former wannabe cool girl Veronica, hook up and decide to live out the ultimate bullied nerd fantasy by getting revenge on Heather, Veronica's frenemy and leader of the Heathers, the most popular clique in school.

But when things go darker than Veronica planned, the comedic satire becomes a Shakespearean melodrama, as Veronica is suddenly confronted by the surreal consequences of what she's done, including realizing that the simplest solution to a problem may in fact make everything a hell of a lot worse.

I'm not going to spoil it for the 5 of you who haven't seen this yet. Everyone else (including me now) has seen it, as it is probably one of the most universally-popular Internet-culture movies there is. You've seen at least one meme from it.

Probably this one.

While a flop in 1989, it quickly became a cult movie on home media, even by the late 90s being one of those movies your older brother and his friends introduced you to to let you know they didn't think you were a lame stupid baby anymore. And it seems now with streaming it is still kind of in that spot, the older brothers with tapes being replaced by Gen X / Millennials posting about how cool it is in front of teenaged lurkers.

So how did I miss it? I WAS the older brother growing up, and I was 7 when it came out. And when I did go back and get into all the 80s movies I missed out on by being a toddler when they were new, I stumbled into the Hughes stuff, notably Pretty in Pink, which is fundamentally the movie Heathers is mocking. As cynical and jaded as I am, I'm also a fruitcake, so I love me some sappy sunny crap (if it's to a greater artistic point, which the Hughes movies are). What I knew of Heathers had me thinking it was merely a demonstration of pretentious anti "popular media" whining from the sort of people who wear outdated hats and are insufferable about punk music.

...And it totally is. But also, it's more than that. It's actually really good and smart and occasionally insightful, when it restrains itself from all the emo "I can be your devil or your angle" posturing. Which, to be fair, it also makes fun of. Before that was even a thing.

Christian Slater and Wynonna Rider have fantastic chemistry, and there's never enough of the two of them just enjoying each other's company. Even when they're arguing, it feels like a real couple going through something they'll almost certainly get over in a few hours (until they very much can't, and then they'll literally try to kill each other). Passion, is the word for it. Sardonic and low-key most of the time, but still passion. And that's always delightful.

It's well-shot and well-directed, with good uses of lighting and dynamic camera angles. There is a lot of scenes that are just two people talking, and it's never boring. Impressive for filmmakers who were, at the time, fresh-faced and working with a small budget. The style ends up being like if John Waters (no relation to Dan Waters, who wrote it) had directed Corman's Rock and Roll High School: goofy and surreal and sarcastic, but also willing to get dark and push boundaries to make a point.

All the characters - even joke side ones - are thoughtfully drawn, given emotional depth and realistic motivations, even when they're doing something stagey and broad in this highly stylized, Tim Burton-esque dark fairytale world. Wynonna Rider fought for the role against all advice, and it is perfectly in-line with the characters she played and the movies she played them in of this era, Beetlejuice and Edward Scissorhands. Maybe even Bram Stoker's Dracula, if we're talking surreal melodramatic action-horror with disco lighting.

It is a movie with lots of big ideas (probably too many), but it manages to get those across effectively. What starts as a simple teenager revenge fantasy morphs into an armchair analysis of what America does to its children - instead of nurturing them and preparing them for the adult world, it points at them and gawks, and cashes in on their fear and self-loathing and predictable self-destruction. Everyone in the cruel high school world of Heathers is both a perpetrator and a victim, desperately fighting for survival by both submitting to abuse, and then immediately turning around and heaping it on someone "beneath" them. Death here isn't genuinely mourned or reflected upon; everyone simply starts plotting how they're going to exploit this new gap in the line. And whether the victims kill themselves or are murdered only matters as far as someone can spin that into self-promotion. Even the priest at the funeral (the late great Glenn Shadix, Beetlejuice again!) uses the supposed suicide of a child as an opportunity to make a ham-fisted youth-oriented alter call.

By the end of the movie, Veronica has triumphantly decided to rise up - not merely against the popular kids and exploitative / apathetic adults - but against the entire system of unending cruelty she didn't even know she was still playing a part in when she was actively attacking it. This finally sets her at odds with JD, who is too consumed by hatred to realize that the violence he thinks is a solution is fundamentally part of the problem.

And yet, as they come to blows, Veronica is also replaying the very same game that led her to become one of the Heathers in the first place, and then turn on them: use people to secure power, they use and hurt you, so you attack them. She knows the whole system is bad and broken and wants out, and seems to acknowledge the only way out is through earnest friendships and "growing out" of being shallow and petty. But by the end of the movie, despite her rebuke of JD...has she managed it? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe the system is inescapable, and all you can hope to do is find a way to force it to work for you. And choose then to make it less cruel. Maybe.

It's not a good or happy ending, it's just an ending. But a thought-provoking one, and the movie does it well.

...Mostly. The dialogue is trying very hard to be distinctively witty, but mostly comes across like a worse version of Clueless-ese, with more gratuitous vulgarities and no kitschy charm. A writer being very proud of how smart they are, without noticing that real people don't talk like this because it's awkward and obnoxious. Everyone's dialogue is basically interchangeable, including between the kids and adults (JD and his lunatic father have a fun distinctive thing they do, but that's about it). Now, lines being awkward and obnoxious doesn't mean they aren't eminently meme-able. In fact, that usually means they are. And they certainly are here. Nearly every scene has a memorable bon mot that can be endlessly parroted by people doing that so you won't notice their off-putting personality. ...I wouldn't call that a win for anyone, but it is certainly a thing.

Remember: just because someone said it in a movie, doesn't mean it's inherently funny or profound or relevant to the conversation you've currently having. And you're not suddenly smart because you found a movie quote that you think expresses your exceptional hot take. In fact, that might be a sign that your are NOT in fact smart or insightful. Just putting that out there.

Also the "mineral water is for fags" thing is only funny because it's stupid. It was stupid then. That's the point of that being in the movie, to show how stupid these podunk morons in Ohio are. Stop repeating that 'joke.' It isn't funny out of context.

Gen X. Looking at you on this one. It's just you trying to give yourselves permission to still call people "fags." Doesn't work that way.

Christian Slater claims he was "channeling Jack Nicholson for this film." Yeah, okay, dude. And for the rest of your life, all the time. He's still a good actor and very charming here, but if that "Christian Slater" thing he does annoys you, it's at 11 here.

The pacing and tone get pretty muddled after the initial black revenge comedy stuff stops, as the movie uneasily transitions to its second major focus. It stops being funny entirely for awhile, until near the end when it suddenly remembers that was supposed to be a part of this, then sitcomy stuff elbows its way in. And JD's plans post-breakup with Veronica are left vague until they suddenly aren't, and I feel like I missed something. I didn't, and there's a point to them doing it this way, but it is handled kind of confusingly.

The movie is a scaled-down version of whatever epic Greek tragicomedy the writer originally dreamed up, and the studio demanded the pitch-black orginal ending be changed. And you can kind of feel that throughout. As an R-rated movie it is a lot tamer than it feels like it should be, and I for one wish the kills were gorier and more over-the-top. That more fits the tone. Maybe that was never the original intention, but you don't do Titus Andronicus without getting gross with it, you know?

Any SA stuff is handled tactfully, and there isn't much of it, and it serves a narrative purpose. But that still feels like something that is only in here because it's 1989 and R-rated movies have to go there. And I don't feel like they really give those incidents the kind of emotional impact they should have on the victims. But again, this is a surreal world of unending cruelty, so maybe people shrug that off here. It's more my personal preference, if you're going to be gross to women in a movie (probably stop that, unless that's what the movie is about. Rape and molestation are not screenplay spices.)

The good far outweighs the bad, though. And Heathers is good, and is deservedly a timeless cult-classic for growing boys and girls, given what it deals with and how well it deals with it. It's entertaining and it makes you think, which is what good movies do. And it's endlessly meme-able, and that's okay, even if the people who meme it the most are silently warning you that they're pretentious and annoying about music. And that's only sort-of the movie's fault.

Also all the women in this movie have 9 lbs of dry fly-away hair that is just...painful. I realize this "unkempt Barbie hair" style was the best we could do at the time, but... I feel like I can hear it crunching every time they move.

Oh, and shoulder pads for days, shoulder pads FOREVER. I will never understand why the hell the 80s thought women weren't boxy enough. It was a thing.

#heathers #movie review #1980s #heathers 1989

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slytherwrites · 1 year ago

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"hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone // engage with the pain as a motive"

Title is from "Achilles Come Down" by Gang of Youths

Info: Theo Putnam & Trans!Reader, to pronouns for reader other than you, pre/during season one, before Theo comes out to his friends, the reader is critical of religion in their narration so if that's a trigger, skip this please!

Note: For the first part of this fic, the reader uses they/them pronouns for Theo, not certain what pronouns they'd prefer.

Summary: You couldn't give two fucks about the shitty kids at Baxter High, but you can tell that you being out is giving someone more confidence in themselves. And that's why you deal with these shitheads.

Upstate New York wasn't what you imagined with your parents said that your dad was moving to New York for work. You could be forgiven if you thought that you'd be in the Big Apple, where people with some actually decent worldviews and basic fucking respect existed.

But, you couldn't have been that lucky, could you? Because the small town of Greendale needed a new doctor and your father could open up his own private practice with a whole town of new customers.

Honestly, how this town had a prominent mortuary, but not a doctor freaked you out, but you wouldn't say anything about it, because who knows what those Spellmans are up to.

But, you settled in decently. Classes weren't difficult and getting around was easy, with everything practically being within either walking or biking distance—something you'd taken up getting around your old town, as public transit was abysmal and here it's nonexistent.

Assholes were assholes and cliques were formed, but not like stereotypical high school television would proclaim. There wasn't a bitchy female at the top, ruling everything. Everything seemed to span from the ire of the misogynistic, football team and their backwards, Judeo-Christian values.

Honestly, you couldn't understand it. The fucking egos on these guys were astounding, truly.

But, you noticed something in between the constant jabs and minor pushing around from the guys bigger than you. That the kid from your English class with the curly hair kept staring at you.

You didn't think it was malicious, but it was persistent. They sat a bit behind you, next to two girls: one of which was the preacher's daughter and the other came from the mortuary family you were going to stay away from.

But, they looked harmless. Curious, in fact. Like they'd never seen someone like you, like them. Like they'd never seen someone who's undeniably trans.

You weren't certain they were trans, but if gaydar was a real thing, yours would be on full alert.

And so, when you were able to catch them staring all by their lonesome, you slipped away from the meatheads and their closemindedness towards them.

"Hey, you're in my English class, aren't you?" You appear in front of them in a blink of an eye, "With Ms. Wardwell, right?"

"Oh, uh... yeah. I am." They stammer, "You find it alright."

"It's not that difficult. Similar stuff I was doing at my old school."

"Where are you from?"

You tell them, trying to hide the disgust of this place and the fact that you really miss home.

"I can't for the life of me remember your name and I'm so sorry about that! Can you tell me?" Even if your reasoning was different, you truly couldn't remember their name, as Ms. Wardwell tends to take silent attendance.

They sigh, "Susie. Susie Putnam."

"You sure about that?" They choke on the air caught in their throat and you continue, "I mean, Y/N wasn't always my name. My parents helped it get it changed. So... are you sure that's your name."

"I don't know what I want to change it to." They admit, "but Susie hurts to hear."

"I get it." You put a hand on their shoulder, "Sometimes you gotta grin and bare it, but hey, when you pick one out, tell me."

"You get it?" They said, "You understand what I'm going through?"

"Oh yeah." You offer a laugh to break the tension, "These people are assholes, but your friends seem to be decent enough. And if they fucking suck like these dickheads, then you can hang with me, alright."

"And if my friends don't suck?" They ask, "Can I still hand out with you?"

You fish out a spare piece of paper and write your number down with a smirk, "I think that's fine as well."

#theo putnam x reader #theo putnam #caos

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lovemesomesurveys · 2 years ago

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1. What is something in your life that you feel hopeful about right now? Well, I finally tried edibles to see if it helps my anxiety at all, as well as my insomnia, appetite, and pain. I’ve had horrible anxiety, more so than ever, this past year and the medications my doctor would allow weren’t working. I was feeling really hopeless and scared. The only thing that did seem to help was my pain med, which of course isn’t its intended purpose but I was taking it for that as well, which wasn’t good. I finally decided to give edibles a try with the hope of course of it actually helping me and to also take less pills.

2. What was the last thing you worried about that turned out better than expected? Well, I’ve been trying this new regimen for the past week now and figuring out the right dosages and how many a day and so far it is working. I have definitely cut back on the pills, which is really good.

3. Name somewhere you are planning on visiting in the near future? I sadly have no travel plans. I’m hoping perhaps my new “medication” will help me feel motivated and have the desire to want to get up out of bed more and perhaps at least take a drive to the beach and park as close as we can so I can enjoy it from the car. I’d take that over nothing right now. I really miss the beach. :( Like I said, though, I’m still playing around with the correct amount and what type I take for what. I need a mood lifter kind. While it has helped some of my issues, it also makes me really tired and have zero energy which is not helpful if I want to go somewhere.

4. How often do you go grocery shopping and how much food do you usually get in one go? My mom goes twice a month for our big grocery trips. We get a lot of stuff.

5. What is a meal you eat extremely often? Or do your meals & food choices vary a lot? I have cream of wheat for breakfast, Taco Bell at least 4-5 times a week, and I have a sandwich for lunch just about everyday. I have pizza fairly often, too. It’s so wild how my appetite has changed since being home from the hospital because prior to I ate a lot of chicken, particularly chicken wings. I had that all the time before and now it’s rare for me to get chicken wings or chicken strips. I don’t know why.

6. When was the last time you felt unable or unwilling to speak your mind to someone? That’s kinda just how I am for the most part. I’d like to speak up to a couple people, but I just want to cause any drama or hurt anyone’s feelings. I just imagine the conversation going completely wrong and everything getting twisted. I won’t be able to say what I want to say in the right way. I’m getting hurt, too, but it’s best I just don’t say anything.

7. What was the last thing you changed your mind about? I don’t recall.

8. Who was the last friend you saw, and what did you do together? I don’t have any friends.

9. Who tends to show up in your dreams? Do you ever wonder if you appear in anyone else's dreams? I always have random people pop up in my dreams for some reason. Like people I know, but I’m talking like for example this kid I went to elementary and middle school with. We weren’t friends, but acquaintances. I didn’t have a crush on him or anything either. Sooo, I really have no idea why he’s the one to pop up on my dreams randomly.

10. What is something you wish you could say to someone who is no longer in your life, or something you wish they could know? I sometimes wish I could talk to Ty again and tell him some things, but I guess at this point it really doesn’t matter.

11. Instead of flat earth, what do you think of the simulated earth theory, that we're basically all just a giant computer program or virtual reality? Nah.

12. What worries you most about your future? I’m truly afraid of getting worse or never getting much better. I’m afraid of living a life mainly stuck in bed or at home. I’m afraid I won’t be able to travel again or go places. My future terrifies me.

13. What is something you do to feel better when you're scared? I have to just try to distract myself somehow. 14. Who do you feel you can count on the most in life? Is there anyone you wish you could count on more? My mom, 100%. I know I always can.

15. What makes you trust someone? When was the last time someone broke your trust? It’s usually just unless I have a reason or feeling that I shouldn’t. You just kind of vibe with someone and gauge how comfortable you feel and how much you want to share.

16. When was the last time you shared a secret with someone, and how did they react? I don’t recall.

17. Are you more likely to give advice or to ask for it? I used to be the one friends came to for advice all the time, but I’m certainly in no place to be giving advice to anyone right now. I also don’t ask for it generally. Very rarely. I keep a lot of shit to myself.

18. When was the last time you felt totally lost, figuratively speaking? How about literally? >> I constantly feel lost, figuratively speaking. I almost never feel lost, literally speaking. <<<

19. In what ways are you emotionally strong? In what ways are you emotionally weak? I feel extremely weak emotionally. And physically.

20. What is the strangest book you have ever read? How did you find out about it? One of them that randomly came to mind is “The Giver.”

21. Do you prefer to watch movies or tv alone or with other people? Is there anything you refuse to watch alone? I much prefer watching with others. My mom, brother, and I have several shows we watch together. I find it fun to have someone to react and obsess with.

22. What was the last thing you broke? How about fixed? I don’t recall.

23. Is there a sign or symbol that means a lot to you for whatever reason (eg. seeing certain animals or birds, 11:11 or other repeating numbers, syncs, butterflies, hearts in nature, etc)? My favorite number since I was a kid has been 8. That number comes up a lot in my life, too. The number 9 does as well. I don’t know what it means, if anything, but it’s interesting.

24. Do you have any personal ghost stories or paranormal experiences? No.

25. What do you get complimented on the most? Ha, nothing anymore. I’m a mess.

26. What is something unusual that you find attractive? I find hands attractive, but I think that’s not so unusual or uncommon. I can’t think of anything that would be “unusual.”

27. What time do you tend to eat your first meal of the day? And your last? I tend to eat around 11 or 12PM and my last meal around 8.

28. What was the subject of the last video you watched? I’m watching a YouTuber that does a lot of videos on abandoned places and companies that went bankrupt and/or closed down. The one I’m watching now is about Bed, Bath, & Beyond.

29. When was the last time you traveled out of town, and where to? Over a year ago to the beach.

30. How would you describe your overall aesthetic? I don’t know, man.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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captain-kit-adventuress · 6 months ago

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I really struggled with whether or not I was going to even post this, because it's embarrassing and I still have a lot of baggage surrounding it, but in the interest of helping people who have debilitating ADHD, I'm going to.

When I was in my early twenties, I worked at a library. This was back when I thought I was going to have a career in library services, and though customer service is still customer service, I loved working in libraries and truly wanted to spend my working life dedicated to them. So this was definitely not a motivation issue or something I wasn't interested in.

Unsurprisingly, many of the people who work in libraries really, really love books and reading. Doesn't matter what format, they just love it. And many of the other services that libraries offer, but books is kinda the baseline. So we tend to check out a lot of books, too, and it was no different for me with this job.

I will say that this was a major branch in the local system of a mid-sized American city, and maybe a lot of other libraries aren't like this, but this was just before the sort of 'cool librarian renaissance' we seem to be experiencing now. This library ran itself very nearly like a business (which is a whole other issue for another time), and it was Serious when it came to books not being returned, by staff and patrons alike.

I knew the rough idea of what would happen, that the system capped fines at $50 (per item) and after that, the matter would be referred to collections. Yes, at an actual collections agency. There were even rumours that sometimes a police officer would be deployed to recover items, but that may only have been in particularly egregious cases where there was a strong possibility of regular theft.

Not that they treated a single item missing as anything less than theft, to be fair. I still loved working in the library, but I will say that branch was the most difficult place I ever worked at, and it really discouraged our patrons from engaging properly with our services. It was a challenging job, but still, I was doing what I loved.

Only...I was also in my early 20s, in college, feeling super overwhelmed, I was depressed, broke, failing out of school, and no idea why any of it was happening. I was about 15 years away from an actual ADHD diagnosis, so I was genuinely convinced that I was a stupid, shit person, and let me tell you, feeling thoroughly ashamed of every part of who you are does not do wonders for executive function.

My roommate and I were very lucky to get a cool apartment not far from campus and there was a tiny windowseat just inside the door. As was usually the case, that's where I tended to dump my stuff when I got home, at least initially, and there was often a book or two I'd brought from work. That book that broke the camel's back sat on that window seat for weeks, and I never read it. And then it became overdue, and I would often forget to put it in my bag so I could return it. More and more time passed, and I forgot. Literally every single time before I walked out the door, and then I'd remember halfway into my shift and would be embarrassed with myself and angry and spend way too much mental energy punishing myself for that rather than just...putting the book in my bag at some other point when I was able before I went to work. Eventually, for a lot of ADHDers, if that happens for long enough, the book becomes part of the landscape. You can't even actually see it anymore, it is just part of the shape of the room. So days overdue became weeks, and weeks overdue became months.

And sometimes? Sometimes I would manage to see that book sitting on the windowseat, and I would get so embarrassed I couldn't even look at it. It was just a reminder, a very visible reminder, of how viscerally I was failing at everything. It became the symbol of everything that was wrong with me, and I couldn't go near it. My body wouldn't even let me physically pick it up.

I don't know how many of you have ever experienced executive dysfunction, but it's not really what you'd expect. It's like being paralysed, knowing you're paralysed, knowing you're powerless to just...do the thing, even if you need to, even if you want to, even if you're desperate to do the thing. The more desperate you get, the worse it is. And when I say paralysed, I mean that very physically, like if I wanted to pick up the book, it was as though the signal from my brain could not reach my arms. I could not in any way have physically touched that book, much less put it in my bag or taken it back to work with me.

So one day, I went in and got ready to start my shift, and my boss took me back to our little communal area, and it was her and another woman from our central branch, and they looked Very Serious. I don't remember a lot of the conversation, only that I didn't really have answers to their questions about why I hadn't returned the book despite working there regularly multiple days per week for months while I had it in my possession, and they just became more and more grave as the conversation went on. At the end, my boss gave me a talking-to about how she couldn't understand why I had done this and how had it come to that, and how angry and at a loss she was, and then they fired me. The whole thing had taken maybe ten minutes, and I was out the door again almost as soon as I had gotten there. The rest of the staff was openly confused, and I could hear, before I even left, my boss starting a speech about why I would no longer be working there.

All because I just couldn't. Pick up. A. Book.

It was not the first time I had been fired, and it would not be the last. Most of the time, it was for making errors, or what my superiors deemed lapses in judgment because I didn't understand how to give them what they wanted from me. I have been written up for insubordination more than once because I just...couldn't stop making mistakes that I didn't catch before they became problems.

ADHD is not just a fun, quirky little offbeat brain thing. It is truly a disability, and I think it's really interesting that the ADA is super non-specific about what actually constitutes a disibility, but the language of the law does actually list ADHD as an example. It's horrible, and even though I now know that I have this condition, and I'm properly medicated for it and things are better, the damage it's done to my life and to me are permanent. Unlucky for me, mine got worse over time and now I am completely unable to work in a traditional job, or even drive safely. And that's with appropriate medication. So, yeah, we absolutely should make jokes about it to cope, but never forget that it truly is a disability, and some people are more debilitated by it than others.

And no, I can't keep my house clean, either.

Like I know we all love making ADHD seem cool but like, don't forget it's actually a disability? My ADHD is bad enough I've nearly been evicted for forgetting to mail the rent check to the property manager, I've forgotten to pay the utility bills and had my water or power get turned off or had to pay fines bcs I missed a credit card payment. Once I was supposed to cat sit for a friend and I lost the house key she gave me but didn't realize until she was already out of town, and she had to call the apartment office to get someone to give me the spare so her cats would have food for the week. When I'm unmedicated I can't even get myself to shower half the time, forget eating or cleaning. Before I started living with my fiance I'd just like, not eat for days because I didn't have anyone to remind me to eat or go buy me food. I've forgotten to turn the stove off so many times and ruined kettles and tbh been DAMN fucking lucky the house didn't burn down. I've done stupid, impulsive shit that's nearly gotten me KILLED. I can't remember to close the shower curtain reliably even through my fiance points out every single time I forget, and he's almost out of soap rn bcs for the last MONTH neither of us have been able to remember to order more once we get out of the shower.

I've had such bad memory my entire life that to this day someone suggesting I forgot something because I simply didn't care enough is a legitimate trigger that, in the worst cases, makes me have a breakdown.

I get that for some of you this is just something that makes studying hard or you forget to take a pee break when you're playing Minecraft or whatever, that's still a valid struggle and you do deserve help and understanding, but like, ADHD is a disability. It's disabling. It's not impossible to improve and learn coping skills, meds help a lot, there are great accommodations out there(LIKE CLEANING SERVICES), but not every case of ADHD is the same, and a lot of them are pretty ugly ngl, and just because you managed to do something doesn't mean someone else is gonna be able to manage it too, or that they're being lazy for struggling. And that obviously doesn't mean ADHD people have a free pass to never work on themselves and make everyone cater to their every need or whatever, but we do deserve some understanding when we explain that our disability is actually disabling in ways that aren't palatable to you. So like, idk, maybe don't immediately recoil in horror when you find out that someone with ADHD can't keep their house clean. And for fucks sake don't ridicule them for it.

#actually adhd #i wish it was just a fun quirky little thing that had no real impact on my life except for positive things #but that is not usually the case for most people #long post #the lady speaks

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spacesapphi · 20 days ago

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🧠❤️

for ur guys!! whichever you want, or all of 'em!

also

🍎 for amelia !!

HEHE ok, I'm gonna focus on 4 of em, being Möhle, Mona, Jason and Amelia, but I might do more later if I can think of stuff. Ty for asking pip :]

These got LONG so all the answers are under the cut!

More questions here if anyone's interested :3

🧠

Möhle... I like that they're kind to ALL animals and has a huge respect for the world and ecosystems, I feel like that's something more people should strive to be like

For Jason, I like that he never let his circumstances make him bitter. He had a difficult home life growing up, and he's gone through a lot. But he chose joy, and he chose to help others feel joy in dark times too

With Amelia, I really love her confidence and her motivation to excel. She's super smart and has the mindset of "I can do anything as long as I try", which is something I find admirable

I love Mona's selflessness. Though she was selfless to a fault, she wanted so badly for her family to be happy. She didn't expect any praise for it either. Mona just took joy in seeing her loved ones have success, and it made it worth it to her, even though it led to her struggling

♥️

Möhle's favorite memories are all family related. They include things like Hannah being born, Jas' graduation, and all the little family vacations they went on. But their favorite of all is their wedding day. It was almost entirely perfect, and they treasure the moment they said "I do" more than anything

Jason's favorite memory is from his first date with Amelia. He acted so confident when flirting, but when it came time to actually go on a date he was all shy and flustered. He wanted to impress her so badly, and decided nothing would be cooler than getting a motorbike and taking her for a drive. They took a scenic backroads route, and it was so perfect. Driving through the mountains and looking out at the stars, Amelia leaning on him the entire ride, all of it was so perfect to him

Amelia's favorite memory is when she got proposed to. Jason had Shane help him plan it and they went *really* over the top. They were still in college at the time and taking film classes, so Jay involved that. He wrote a script that was fantasy based with a knight and princess, and splurged hundreds on the perfect costumes for him and Amelia. She was excited to do the film, but didn't expect Jason to flip the script and propose in the final scene. It was everything she could have ever dreamed of, and she felt like she fell in love with him all over again

Mona's favorite is from the last Winter Star she ever had. She was spending it with Marnie and Shane, who was around 3 years old at the time. It was a classic and cute little family holiday straight out of a postcard. The best part of the night was when they were all baking together and goofing off in the kitchen. Everyone was laughing and carrying on, just having the best time. Her sister and her son meant the absolute world to her, and that day was so important to her. Mona was really struggling, and having that moment helped her forget her troubles, even for just a little bit

🍎

So Amelia was raised mostly by her Aunt Serena, being taken in when she was in middle school. Her parents passed when she was young, but she remembers having wonderful memories of them. They were fairly well off, and went on so many family trips that the three of them had so much fun on! Most of all though, she remembers just how much they loved each other. Amelia didn't know a day where she wasn't adored by her parents, and she misses them dearly. Her mother gave Amelia her love of fantasy, and the two watched so many movies together with those elements. Her dad taught her how to cook, and she has good memories of them making meals together

Serena was wonderful too though, and tried her best to make sure Amelia still felt that love as she grew up. Serena was someone Amelia looked up to a LOT. She was very successful and smart, putting a lot of emphasis on trying your best. It's where she got the "I can do anything" mindset from! Serena was a huge inspiration to her, and they were so very close.

#TY PIPPP #moon oc talk #i rarely talk ab mona and i need to change that tbh #i have so many thoughts ab my ocs

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raincandyy2 · 8 months ago

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Motivation

Hewwo~! :3

Reporting from in my bed while I definitely should be up if I don't wanna miss bus #1 for school.

You know these days (like.. almost every day) when you just can't get up, then go on social media, look at useless stuff and call yourself lazy because of that while you know you're not actually lazy? — or maybe you don't know.

Yeah, that's my mood right now. Thankfully I can just take bus #2 because this week is "Projektwoche" as we say in German (something along the lines of "project week"? We do different things that have nothing to do with school, like theater, cooking and different sports?) and that means school starts 50 minutes later.

The only issue with bus #2 is that it's so packed, I'm not even sure if I'm gonna be able to get inside. Eh. If I don't I'll have to ask my mother to drive me (as if she's gonna do that) or just stay home all day, cuz the next bus comes at a time where school is already close to being over.

Anyyywayyy, thanks for reading this absolutely useless post, have an amazing day/night/whatever, take care, stay safe...

Bless! ~

#school #no motivation #motivation doesn't exist #lazy or depressed? dunno #this is useless #why are you reading the tags?#if you are #wish you the best #take care <3 #love you nerd #bless!#raincandyy2

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percontaion-points · 10 months ago

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Delicious Monsters chapters 21 & 22

Today's review might be difficult for some; reader discretion is advised

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Click here for the rest of the series!

Chapter 21

I slammed her door shut and rushed to get ready. There was no premade lunch waiting in the fridge, which wasn’t surprising. It was always like this. There would be promises to make life different, and then something would shift, something I couldn’t see that she could, and suddenly it would be over.

This literally lasted a day.

And you wonder why it is that Daisy is so messed up.

Instead, I found the goat.

There wasn’t much else to do but stare. It was quiet. No more bleating. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and texted Mom to not let the guests into the greenhouse.

[...]

I had zero desire to discuss the goat.

I mean, you can guess what happened.

But actually telling the readers what happened is for fucking squares, I guess.

I wished that I had Megan’s version of a bad day. A colder-than-usual shower and messy hair. That would be nice.

Chapter 21 summary: Daisy wakes up the next morning to the sound of the goat screaming, and the sound of the birds flapping their wings really hard. The sound of the birds is really triggering to her, because of what happened a week earlier. She finds that the window blind is open, despite the fact that she closed it last night. And her headphones are out, which she’d never do. But she isn’t too worried about the dead, since they’re all attracted to whatever’s in the main house.

She tries to get Grace to take her across the lake again, but her mum’s motivation to be a good parent has already ended. Daisy is disappointed but not surprised; how can she when it’s like this every couple of months for the two of them?

As she starts to walk over to where King lives, she sees that there’s already frost on the greenhouse glass, so she goes inside to turn the heater on. Instead, she finds the goat with its throat slashed (the fact of which we don’t discover until the end of the chapter).

King meets her outside, and they walk over to his house. After Daisy gets into the car, King’s mum comes over and tells Daisy that she’s welcome at their house anytime. Daisy is pretty sure that she won’t take them up on their offer.

Her school day is glossed over. After school, King has to do grocery shopping for his family, so Daisy decides that if Grace has stopped being a parent, then she’s going to need stuff for lunch every day. As she’s walking around, she runs into one of her classmates, the most bubbly girl that Daisy could find. This was because the happy classmates keep the ghosts away; not because Daisy wanted to be friends. After chatting with Mackenzie a bit, Daisy continues on and sees Katie. She thinks about how different lives that Katie and Grace ended up leaving… But randomly paints Katie as a loser simply because she chose a different path than Grace did. (Yet Katie is the one with the stable job, in a stable marriage, probably not moving from home to home every few months.)

As they go to check out, Daisy asks King for his phone, and uses it to stalk Noah’s new girlfriend. He immediately identifies Noah as her ex, and then goes on to say that he can get reads on people. But for some reason, not Daisy or Grace. He picked up a bit of info when she was thrashing around in the thornbush, but that’s about it. Daisy tells him to stop being so fucking creepy, and to mind his own goddamned business. Which is kind of fair, NGL.

Chapter 22

I thought about bringing it up with Mom but didn’t. It would just go down like mentioning the worm had.

Pretty sure Daisy could wake up missing an entire arm and Grace would say “It’s all in your head.”

I got the distinct feeling that little by little, day by day, Mom’s plan was falling apart.

I can’t even pretend to be surprised about this. It’s like she was expecting easy money, and instead, she’s probably pulling back whatever sort of TRAUMA the house caused her 17 years ago.

“Why did we buy a goat?” I asked.

Mom’s expression deflated. “Can you just stay on topic and celebrate with me?”

I pressed my lips into a line.

“Goat’s milk is good for you.” Mom got her information from a variety of sources, none of which she could accurately cite.

There is literally no way that the ownership and maintenance of a goat (plus the cost of properly pasturing the milk so that you don’t get sick) is somehow less than the cost of going and getting a jug of goat milk from the store.

But I’m going to file this under “suspicious shit Grace will not stop doing” and move on.

There was no way the dead in that house wouldn’t eventually create problems. Not to mention, the house must be drawing them in for a reason, and I didn’t think I was wrong to assume that it wasn’t something innocent.

Daisy has already told us that the dead are drawn to misery. Something terrible happened in that house… And judging by Brittany’s chapters, the worst is yet to come.

She pushed her sunglasses onto the top of her head. “Here we go.”

Chapter 22 summary: Helga and Joe came over and butchered the goat for them. Later, when Daisy tries to ask Grace why she even got a goat, her mom is like “Goat milk is good for you!” without further explanation. I said what I said. Grace is more focused on how popular that the Airbnb is getting than over literally anything else.

However, as her mum goes to leave, Daisy has a sinking feeling that things aren’t half as good as Grace is making them seem. She knows that no matter what happens, Grace is going to blame her for all of this.

After Grace leaves for her MYSTERY ERRANDS, Daisy meets up with King and Ivy so that they can go into the main house. In there, Daisy has to move away to avoid being touched by a ghost, and King asks her about it. He also asks about his great aunt who died nearby. But Daisy says that only those unsatisfied in life would linger for so long. But even those would eventually pass over.

King explains to her that the house, when working correctly, is supposed to attract, trap, and release all of the nearby spirits. His great aunt was drawn to the area, and made a blood pact with the land in order to help keep this running. However, they need the homeowner’s permission to do a “factory reset” on the house. Which they really need to do, since the house is currently only trapping the dead, but not sending them on to the afterlife.

The three of them start to look around the house after that. King refuses to split up, calling it, and I quote, “White people bullshit.” He’s not wrong.

#delicious monsters #book review #bookblr

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starrwulfe · 1 year ago

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Last Week Today! S2024E7

🤦‍♂️ OK, I skipped out on hella posts for this category. I know, I know… I’ll backfill them later, but I really hadn’t done much of anything noteworthy I guess so there wasn’t the motivation to post one of these… Which is not the point of course, so I’ll just shut up and get on with this installment. Just watch out for the backfills if you’re keeping up with this on the socials or RSS or email or whatever.

🩺 I had my yearly physical exam, and it went well except for the one note under intensive fasting glucose being 101mg/dL which to make a long story short, prompted my doctor to admonish me about getting enough exercise or else worry about diabetes being a thing. Other than that, I’m just as healthy as ever.

🏋️ It’s no secret that since returning Stateside from Japan, I haven’t really been getting enough exercise, walks, runs, all that jazz and have low-key been stressed and a bit depressed. I have zero motivation to go to a gym; I don’t like doing routines so much to begin with, but I really don’t like being in a room with total strangers trying to figure out how to make my body do stuff to burn fat. It literally makes me even more stressed out than just jogging/riding a bike by myself. SuperWife and I had been going to the gym together at first, but her job changed, and our schedules fell out of alignment for that; I lost my motivation about a year later and here we are. I tried going to the little gym in my area, but my job no longer subsidizes gym membership, and probably more influential, the guy that runs it keeps asking me to join a “boot camp” class. I don’t want to join shit, I don’t want to be around people, leave me the fsck alone, I’m already anxious as hell just being there. So I stopped going.

🚲️ Excuses aside, I’m just gonna go and buy myself a bike and do what I used to do overseas that kept me fit in the first place. I used to cycle all over the place. I can’t walk or take trains like I did there but I’m going to try to at least bike around here and get out more. Did you know I once went almost a whole week without leaving my house a few months ago? (Working from home has its downsides too!) I miss Japan for my social life and urban living more than anything; it kept me on the “life gym” plan where my mind and body constantly got a workout every day without effort. Just living my daily JapanLife kept me fit. Now I actually have to actively work on it. I appreciate any tips on keeping motivated and healthy from y’all out there reading this please.

🚸 Moving on, the kids are doing well. I just realized we’ll have 0 mini-mes that will be in elementary school after this school year. Little Monkey will be a middle schooler. When dafuq did my cute little simian who learned to climb up my back like a ladder and sit on my shoulders get to be on the precipice of teenagedom?

🚗 At the other end of the scale, The Big One just passed her written Drivers Exam and is now permitted. I really wasn’t ready for this one. It’s not like she’s chomping at the bit to drive (kinda opposite actually – she frequently takes our fledgling bus system around here) but it’s always good to have another driver in the family in case something happens. I wish I had the cheddar to get a hoopty for her and Boy-Type (he’ll be at a permittable age this time next year 😨) to drive… But even if I did, we can’t afford the insurance on a 16 year old right now I’m sure.

🎨 Speaking of Boy-Type, his drawing skills are getting very good. Fingers crossed for him to be the next Akira Toriyama or Hayao Miyazaki. I’ll settle for him just being that guy that paints to cool murals in trendy shopping plazas and shops like his uncle does back in Tokyo. Getting paid to do what you like to do is the shit. One of the classes at the arts high school he’ll need to pay attention in is Creative Business Management. I hope he soaks it all up when the time comes.

🦸‍♀️ SuperWife is out here doing her thing and will attend a intensive technical training bootcamp style class this summer since she’ll have more time for that while the school district is on summer break. I think she’d make a great tech support technician or level 1 project lead; her time management is better than mine and that’s always been half the job for me. I can’t wait to have crazy “vim vs emacs” type discussions with her. LOL

🏁 Lastly, I’m looking forward to spring, warmer temps, and getting back out in the RV. We’re set to head down to Jacksonville, Florida for a few days during the first week of April and I can’t wait. I love being on the road with the tribe and I feel we’re at our best together out in the world exploring like this. We’ve hit daylight savings already and 25ºC/80ºF was hit for the first time last week too. Just gotta hang on a bit longer to shake these winter doldrums!

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pinkpantherjam · 1 year ago

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A Recap of Jam's Year (2023 Ver)

January- I left my job and returned in Laguna with mama and my siblings. I reorganized my body clock from strenuous graveyard shift to normal and became the instant eldest doing ate's roles because she just decided to ghost all of us. I had so much regrets because i didn't have a backup plan or any savings left from my former job. I could have had something to use for myself. It made me realize that resigning never felt rewarding after all because i no longer receive bi-weekly pay plus i'm back with major household chores which i think was so tiring compared to my routine of living alone series as a working girlie in Manila-Makati. Mom made me leave the job because they offered to support me in my studies and all around expense so i took the opportunity because somehow that was what my body needed. But from that experience i learned financial independence. I learned it the hard way that a good way to invest for your future is through starting small steps of saving. Aside from the fact that my ego can't ask stuff to my parents as i was used to buying all the things i need and want on my own, nothing is more rewarding when you wallet is full. I should've opened a bank account and took an effort to spare for something that will eventually grow in the future back when i had the opportunity. January made me realize that saving was actually as serious thing to help yourself out in the future:))

February- Second semester , 1st year in Adu and from those few days of schooling i got tired of life. An exchange of parental support is an effort to comply and cater the most dysfunctional person in the family. What Step Father wants, is what we follow. On the other hand, Mom told me she cared about my health and physical well being so she had to watch over my eating habits and that is why i can't stay in a dorm. But mom never cared about the fact that i study kilometers away which takes 2-3 hrs , a total of four rides before i get there and ironically speaking, that would mean her daughter will go home late everyday tired and drained from school and commute. But i continued and chose to stick around. I was so strong that i managed my own sanity while adjusting to my circumstance. I kept on manifesting that by second year i'll get to rent a dorm in Ermita and i no longer needed to travel 6 hrs a day.

March- I took the opportunity to speak my mind more through speech & writing competitions and joining academic organizations. Not because i was motivated but because I have lived my daily life with guilt seeing and knowing that somebody is making a living along with funding my studies so i have to not just study hard but also excel. That became my reason until i lose sight of everything in me. I've always reminded myself that if i am tired, so are they. Until i forgot its purpose and became drained. I also think it was the month where i get to have more bonding with friends and i get to widen my circle. I had this thing where i thought "the more, the merrier". I was such an extroverted person.

April to May- all i know is that i was fighting. i never gave up from the fact that i'm few days away of making it through the semester and eventually I will be a sophomore sooner or later. I numbed myself from all the insult i received from my own parents because i valued gratitude even more. They gave me a thought that i owe them because they offered me shelter, food, and education. I had plans of working or looking for a job by summer because i had nothing to do and i wanted to save up too. I missed treating myself out also:<< At the back of my head i was already guessing mama would disapprove.

June to August- I was fully vacant with nothing to do at home so i applied for a job in Laguna without mama knowing. When i announced i was hired she disapproved. She kept on telling me she wanted my body to rest but i know on the other hand that once one of us gets a job, that would lessen their power and authority. Our dependence towards them is what will boost it and the same thing will also be their card against us. So i was jobless the entire summer rethinking about what life could have been if i never resigned, if i never left my dormitory, or in general if i could live an authentic life where i can decide for myself and the things i want to do. I was also heartbroken during last weeks of august because i never made it to the list of scholars despite of my high GWA, it turns out that i actually had one subject close to 2.00 and just like that, for a couple of months i did dwell myself on the thought that i was a failure, something i should've not. It was hard to accept because I was almost there, but it seems to be as if everything i did was not enough. It felt as if I was so ahead of the curve, until the curve became a sphere. I kept trying still.

September to October- i met a very gentle person who takes his time to get to know me. He was patient when i declined for a couple of times, i kept myself high and he did all his best to reach me. I was never an open book so never did i willingly utter stuff about me, my family, even my deepest and most sincere desires. He proved himself, he did all he could, he cares about my well being, shows me simple to big gestures of giving through things that make my heart happy and that includes all his acts of service. He constantly reminded me that he was and will always be proud of me and the things i do. He called me beautiful even during the days i didn't feel like it. He kept in track of me through written notes of the things he admired about me each day, along with sweet compliments were all the sweets he gave. There was this one rainy day and he rushed his way to where i was before his exam starts just so he could hand me white roses. He takes me to beautiful places i haven't been. He waited all along until i would open my heart fully, until i would allow myself to feel how comforting it is to have someone beside me; Ought to love and to be loved genuinely. And from that day onwards, my night rides on the bus never felt miserable, or lonely and cold because he travels with me until Laguna even though he lives in Taguig just so he could make sure that I'd get home safely without him knowing that whenever i am with him, it feels so warm as if i am already Home. Romance is indeed not dead, if you keep it just...yours.

November- to recall my last two months of the year, November has taught me so many things. It was the time of the month when my "so called" friends turned their backs on me. I felt betrayed. They made up things about me, things i wouldn't do, accused me, confronted me for things i am not even responsible in the first place and that ruined my mental health. I realized it was so much draining to have such kind of friendship and i had so many regrets. My bad for having empathy, my bad because i never chose who i surrounded myself with because i was blind. I was overly friendly that i forgot my worth. From that, i learned the art of detachment. I decided to cut off all the people who disrespected me and ruined my well being. Not just my former friends but also those who treated me badly. I was slowly leaving my people pleaser self and kept my circle smaller and smaller. I even decided to fully cut ties with those who made me feel a certain guilt for not doing them favors. Choosing peace is somewhat painful especially if you somehow shared memories with those people. But for my own sanity, i decided to let things be. That took me quite some time to finally accept that not all things taken care of actually last. I felt sorry for myself, i felt sorry for the days i haven't checked my environment. It doesn't mean i never cried about it. I just decided to continue because life goes on. Eventually, "the more the merrier" does not apply in relationships.

December- i left.

I left home. I left the environment that suffocated me for years. I left the people I thought were my people, I left the unhealthy ones, the ones who made me question myself. I left those who abused me emotionally, physically and mentally. I left the university that gave me an unforgettable memory of how I used to pity myself when the professors who knew me and sought that I was a kid with an upbringing potential saw me hopeless and crying in front of them because her own mother reported her, her step father tarnished everything she has, her own parents invalidated everything she worked hard for. I left places and avoided spaces that reminded me of where or how to end my life. I avoided the bus terminal and that vehicle I couldn't avoid to cry publicly then and now. I left my old self and started to outgrow ties, friendships, and even dreams. I left the program people think I excel at. I had to leave my sister and brother for now in the care of my mother because I cannot afford to give them a life yet. I left everything, everybody, all at once. I kept a low profile and never did I tell anyone where I am or what I'm up to. I left to the extent that people eventually forget my existence. I never celebrated Christmas, new year or my own birthday because I can't find reasons to celebrate mourning seasons. I took the risk to let go of who I once was and the things I once wanted. And now I am enduring liberty, solitude, and love— until I can think and feel that I am finally clean.

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mrfoox · 3 years ago

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Mom, who have no idea how I am on a daily basis: please go out and shovel snow off your porch!

Me, who have been avoiding going outside and people at any time the last year: (:

#miranda talking shit #Not just pandemic situations but like... Going on walks and buying food and stuff #Ive only left my house to go to the hospital and to buy food a handful of times its concerning lmao #Mom thinks ive been going outside on walks like i do during summer at home ... No mama im isolating myself and feeling like trash thats all #Im meant to come along to grocery shop with my home help but ive been sending them out alone 9/10 times since this autumn #Only time i somewhat feel motivated to go is if oliver is going but he have only had my shopping twice in the year I've had them #At least i.... Am awake at the time ? Like i could just go back to sleep and let them go but i take my meds and try to get up #I miss seeing friends.... One of my two friends from my city moved away for study this autumn so i am like well dang #Explaining all this to anyone who havent experienced severe depression is also basically impossible lol #Its eady to just say 'but just do it (:' when you genuinely have to use so much mental energy to even eat... Keep up ones hygiene ... Do #Basic chores... Its deppressing how much willpower i use to just do the minimum and it still looks like im just bein lazy #I wish i had my mental capacity as my brother so i could just play video games 12 hours per day and basically be happy with that #I love video games but i feel guilty playing them because its not productive so instead i just lay in bed and zone out #My brother is the biggest stain and liability to society and everything one shouldnt be but he actually can do it without feeling guilt #Hes probably also autistic and definitely got hdhd but my emotional intelligence and awareness of others is the biggest thing dividing us #And anxiety i guess is a problem for me and not him. Then you know he basically mentally abused me growing up because he took out all anger #On me who was 6 yrs younger than him so now im here and hes ... There #Its almost funny how the most 'failed' child of us siblings is probably the most content with their life and less likely to off themselves #My sister got a family but im fairly sure shes somewhat unhappy with being a mother. She never wanted that life #And my oldest brother is... Well i guess hes me in man form to some extent. Hes definitely deppressed and havent finished high school etc #But he's still ... Trying ? Doing work and stuff and last couple of years hes very into gardening...#And then theres me ... I guess that im the only one getting 'the help' i deserve bc i have personally basically wanted to get diagnosed (':#All us siblings are just fucked one way or another ... Wish i didnt get the deppression etc part. Mental illness really runs wild in my fam #I love my mom but damn... She really came from an deppressed/bipolar dad and schizophrenic/autistic mom ... And then mom got kids with an #Shit who probably got add and something else but of course with a ton of unresolved family trauma which he then put his own kids through #All families have their issues ... But i dont really have one in anything but name and its filled with mentally ill people who can't adjust #To this society. Some people should not have biological kids... My family is part of thay group...#Negative

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neptune-midheaven · 4 years ago

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The Third House Placements and Their Handwriting Styles ~💖🌺🐚

Welcome back babes 😁🙏✨ I’m back posting someee bit but anything nonetheless ! This was a post I wanted to do for a while, this really intrigued me💫

I’m going to be talking about third house placements and their unique to the placement writing styles. Third house rules hands, arms, fingers and writing, correct !😄🎶 There is a correlation between handwriting and third house in astrology as it literlaly rules over it, so components in your third house astrology will dictate how this will look. Use all of the possible combinations you have in your chart ! 🙂☝️

For generational planet ruled signs, use whatever works better.

🔆Sun/leo ~

May have a gift in being very dramatic and showy whenever they express their ideas or in their communication they can be very bright and charming. They’re very talented at absorbing knowledge and facts, they usually are the types of people to dish out random facts about anything whoever you’re talking to them, they have so much random knowledge kept in their minds it’s almost funny. They’re silly and a bit childlike people,

Handwriting style 🦁

Regal, nice looking. They have a confidence to their writing, if the whole class wrote on one piece of paper, theirs would stand out more, maybe a “I can trust what they write is the best there is here” is what people reading over theirs would think.

🌙Moon/cancer ~

Loves sentimental things, talking about the past and family makes them feel good and safe, attachments to the mother, most likely missed her or their family whenever they had to go to school, homesickness at school

Handwriting style 🌝

Soft, homely words. Shyer? They write with a grace and their words are poetically beautiful. It looks like something out of a movie. Nostalgic, their ink is softer and lighter, their curves are soft, their lines and o’s are soft and so sensitive. SO gentle and calm. It’s sleepy?

💫Mercury/gemini/virgo ~

The wittiest, most social people ever. They’re all definitely extroverts, I am one with my gemini in 3rd house ova here 😘, they love talking, and never stop talking and love chatting about anything and never stop chatting about anything, they love walking up to random people and never stop walking up to random people and staring a convo with them out of nowhere 😀. My friends bully me all the time for this. I understand. The one kid in school with like all the answers, they just knew the answer to things and easily got good grades. People asked them for answers all of the time since they are so smart and intelligent, they absorb what they’re being taught so quickly they don’t ever let the teacher finish talking. They’re fast and versatile.

Handwriting style 🤸‍♀️

Fast writing, so many words. They write super fast and probably have so many typos in their essays and papers. Handwriting can look like crap 🤨😐. Like there’s no rush, you’re gonna get your paper done on time! You can’t read what they write al of the time because they rush through writing everything. Their letters and words look fancy somehow, like they were written by the scholar of all scholars, they’re just unintelligible words and sentences. Teachers may need to ask what the student with this placement writes because they can’t read it. Scribbles, jumbled and mixing up things all over the page. You can tell they write fast with the jagged lines and crooked n’s and t’s ajakksks.

💕Venus/taurus/libra ~

Very sweet and charming way of talking to others, they have strong persuasive powers with their honeyed words, they can almost charm you into doing anything, they seem so innocent and sweet. These people are very kind though of course! They love giving others compliments, strangers, their friends, their family, they’re such sweet people to have in your life. They attract partners and relationships by doing their daily tasks, lovers can show up suddenly when they’re running errands or they can attract a lot of interest at their school.

Handwriting style 🍓

The most pleasant, aesthetic handwriting i have ever seen, even if their handwriting is bad it still becomes an art style somehow, i don’t really know how else to describe that. It’s like no matter how bad it could possibly look or how incoherent it is, their script still manages to look NICE.

💥Mars/aries ~

Very loud voices, a bit like sun, but it’s more like their power and strength is used whenever they talk. They could be meaner or aggressive classmates, angry talkers, I know so many people with this placement who talk so mad, so much cursing, ranting and screaming. We love it all.

Handwriting style 🥵

Very rough and fast handwriting, similar to mercury; however, it has more fervor, the messiest and most impulsive handwriting out of all of the other placements.

🐚Jupiter/sagittarius ~

Loud and expressive communicators, similar to the sun here, but they’re louder and bigger. You can hear their voices from across the room and they’re usually the know-it-all’s in the classroom. Very friendly and fun to talk to, they talk about so many exotic and interesting things. They love to crack a joke or two. Also, it’s something about these peoples voices are just FUNNY. Like how they talk is like hilarious and jolly in a good way. It make you wanna crack up and feel good. They make you feel good and BLESSED when they talk to you.

Handwriting style 🍀

Larger letters, I’ve noticed they have bigger “holes” and like to expand their letters over the pages, their words go over the lines and it could be messy usually, sort of like mars fashion but it’s just wider words on the paper.

🪐Saturn/capricorn ~

Very punctual people with perfect punctuation. They hate it whenever their thoughts are messy or unorganized, it makes it hard for them to think thoroughly like they are expected to. They’re the smarter most mature minds in the room. Very deep, daddy voices. IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT. THEY SOUND LIKE THEIR DADS. ITS CRAZY. They talk with so authority and sureness, their diction is so perfect it makes everyone mad.

Handwriting style ✏️

Perfect handwriting, they hate it when their sentences look off or unstructured on a page. The most rounded o’s, the straightest lines and perfect length for every letter they write. Correct punctuation once again, their words look like they were printed by a typewriter.

🌪Uranus/aquarius ~

Very different minds, they could feel strange or odd in school, like they were just the oddball learners, had weird interests, or was a huge nerd over so many subjects. Crazy coffee drinkers, the ones with monster drinks and twenty textbooks that are about to fall out of their open backpacks because they rushed to get to school on time. The craziest people actually, their minds are like on drugs, they can be hard to keep up with.

Handwriting style ⚡️

Weird ways they write certain styles of their letters and their words can “come out” of the page. They write SO fast this is usually why they take harder classes in school with more work just solely on the fact they can write much faster than anyone else. Maybe comic-book looking writing? They’re dynamic and crazy like harsh lines and crazy o’s, there’s something unique about the way they write.

🌊Neptune/pisces ~

Such idealistic thinkers. They want to see the good in their surroundings, they do need to be careful with this because surroundings and things can be deceiving. They can absorb such much of their surroundings, they can be quieter communicators because of this. It can be taken advantage of since they’re overwhelmed by conversations or they can be easily fooled by the wrong people. Like they believe things that aren’t even true? Or they like tell a lot of white lies when they’re talking that make people go like uhh is that even true?😀😀 But they play it off when they’re caught lying, it’s very deceptive. The quietest kids in school that either did drugs or tried to escape class by doing some illegal stuff, or they just left. Some were never seen at school.

Handwriting style 🌀

The sleepiest handwriting I’ve ever seen. It’s provably hard to read what they write. Faded words maybe? Faded words on faded paper. So poetic though, it’s pretty but not in a venus way, it like captivates you. It’s hypnotizing they way they draw out their e’s and their a’s have a dreamy tail that connects to their next letter.

🥀Pluto/scorpio ~

Obsessive minds, they want to know everything possible, they want to reach the deepest depths on information and knowledge. They are motived and driven to know as much as they can, and they always seem to succeed. They’re very smart. The kids in school who would keep to themselves or would obsess over what the teacher taught them, the way they communicate is like they’ve read the same page over and over again for days. Obsessive.

Handwriting style 🖤

Darker, hard to see words, they can have obsessive writing. It’s perfect but fast writing, maybe a bit scary that they have the ability to write so much with so much power? People can be freaked out with just how much they know already. So their words can be very persuasive, so the letters would be magnetic, you love their writing once you read one of their essays. You’re obsessed, just like they are.

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jimblejamblewritings · 3 years ago

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snakes & bets | part 4.

Summary: Social outcast suddenly makes friends? And those friends are Hogwarts’ most notorious pranksters? Despite being entirely suspicious, Y/N doesn’t question any motives. The world can’t possibly come crashing down around her…

Warnings: This whole story is angsty, hurt/comfort, smut, will end in fluff but goes through all the other stuff first.

Pairing: Marauders x black!reader, eventual Sirius Black x black!reader

Word Count: 4.0k

Previous Part | (Series Masterlist)

Sirius woke up first, followed by Peter then James. Remus always took the longest after Moony Night. The others got dressed and brushed their teeth while they waited for their friend to slowly come to life. Sirius spotted the food first. He picked up a piece of bacon.

“No one’s ever brought up food before. That’s nice.”

“Who do you think did it?” Peter asked as he grabbed some breakfast for himself.

The boys all shrugged. They went through their list of friends, contemplating which one was nice enough to do something like that for them. James came downstairs with a bread roll still in his hand, the other marauders not far behind him. They felt pretty confident in their conclusion when they came to one. The plate of food was decorated with flowers, a lily resting on top of the bread roll mountain. They thought it was fairly obvious. James held up the little limp flower.

“Lily,” he called into the common room, making the redhead turn around. “Thanks for the breakfast.”

“Don’t thank me, thank your puppy.”

The four of them frowned for a moment. They rolled their eyes before heading to class. Not sharing most classes with you was a blessing. They only had Charms, Astronomy, and Muggle Studies. They also realized that they actually did share Transfiguration with you— it was just that you always sat at the very front in the corner so they never noticed.

But Transfiguration was second to last that day. So, they only had to see you at the end of the day for that class as well as Charms. Their day was a blissful one without you. Peter suggested eating lunch outside since the weather would soon be way too cold to do so. The other three agreed with him, grabbing their food and making their way out of the Great Hall.

You were laying down near one of the big trees, body completely hidden by it. You were waiting on a parcel from your parents with a refill of your contact lenses so you were in your glasses. The school’s garden gnomes were outlining your body with a bunch of wild flowers, occasionally stopping to hold out their little grubby hands for a piece of the bread that you were eating.

The marauders noticed you too late to turn around. You called out their name with excitement and they trudged over to you. They sat a distance away from you to the point that it almost looked like they weren’t even sitting with you. You shooed away the gnomes so you seemed less strange. The boys watched the gnomes run off wearing tiny pink hats that you clearly made for them. You sat up and scooted closer to them.

They didn’t say anything but kept eating. Sirius leaned away when you tried to stick a flower in his hair, Peter doing the same when you turned to him. You ended up picking the flowers out of your hair. Normally, you kept them in but everyone tended to point and talk about them. You didn’t really get it because flower crowns were in but apparently random flowers didn’t seem to be a trend.

“We missed the last game but my cousin said they’re playing again on Thursday.”

“What?” Peter asked.

“Last week,” you reminded him. “Our family has box seats whenever the Holyhead Harpies play at home. Mary thought we were coming to the last game but I told her something came up. She said they’re playing home again which is awesome because they didn’t have another home match scheduled for a month.”

James choked on his drink. “Box seats? Box seats at a Holyhead Harpies game?”

“Yeah, she said she needed to know now so she could write to Slughorn and McGona—”

“Oh, we’re going!” James declared.

You smiled. “Yeah? Awesome, we have to leave before lunch but we can eat with the team. Ooh, you can wear the sweatshirts!”

“Sweatsh— uh, yeah, yeah, of course.” James quickly covered his own tracks.

You reached into your bag to check your pocket watch. The marauders watched you get up quickly, saying you were going to be late to Potions. You ran off, tripping over your own two feet but managing to stay upright. They snorted as you hit the wall by accident. James turned to the group.

“What fucking sweatshirts?”

Peter shrugged. “Just say we got them dirty or something, didn’t have time to wash them.”

“Sounds good.”

That was the exact excuse they gave you when you met them at the front entrance of the school. You didn’t mind because that meant they wore your present enough to have to wash them. The marauders looked in surprise when a carriage showed up. They were used to James being the richest person they knew. You just shrugged as you ushered them inside.

The Zabini family probably had more money than the Potters even after splitting the inheritance amongst siblings. Your dad wouldn’t have even made it into the family coming from an average muggle-born background if it wasn’t for the fact that he was brilliant at Charms. But thanks to the Zabinis, your parents worked because they wanted to not because they had to.

The carriage sped away with the five of you in it. You jumped out when you got to the stadium, yelling for your cousin. Mary— along with the rest of the team— turned around. You gave her the biggest hug, having not seen her since summer. All of the Zabini cousins were extremely close and they all watched over you since you were the baby of the family.

“You made it,” Mary said, cheerfully.

You nodded like a bobblehead before running over to where the marauders awkwardly stood. Sirius and James flinched when you went to reach for their hands until they remembered that there was company. You pulled them along, Peter and Remus following, so they were standing in front of the team.

“These are my friends,” you said. “James, Peter, Remus, and Sirius.”

Mary shook everyone’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”

The team led you all to your seats. The boys were surrounded by Mary’s teammates while she walked ahead with you. Mary threw her arm around your shoulder.

“I’m glad you made friends.”

“Me too. We went to the Halloween dance together.”

“You went to a dance?”

You nodded. “I had fun.”

“Did you go to an afterparty? I remember Ravenclaw used to throw the best ones.”

“We went to their dorm.”

Mary paused and looked at you. “See, when someone says they skipped an afterparty to go to someone’s dorm that usually means…”

You nodded, making your cousin gasp. She looked behind her at the four boys and playfully shoved your shoulder.

“(Y/N)! Which one?”

“All of them,” you whispered.

Mary pulled you ahead even more to gossip before reaching your seats. You told her that you were just friends with them but she was still excited. Like with your parents, the fact that you were starting to make connections at Hogwarts was more exciting to her than you. She left the five of you after making sure everyone was comfortable.

While everyone was enjoying the game, no one was as into it as you and James. Every now and then, Sirius kept looking at you cheer for the Holyhead Harpies. You had a nice smile. He abruptly went back to looking at the game after thinking that. Sirius felt like he was going to be sick even thinking such a thing. He refused to make eye contact with you for the rest of the game and on the way back to Hogwarts.

For once, the marauders gave you a genuine thank you before leaving to head back to their dorm. You awkwardly stood at the bottom of the stairs for a moment. You kind of thought that you were going to go with them and hang out after the game but they said they were tired. The boys wanted to add to their map. They were almost completely done with it, just a few corridors left.

“Did you guys see where I put the Invisibility Cloak?” James asked, head buried in his trunk.

Remus chuckled. “Mate, I told you to fold it up and put it in your trunk.”

“Okay, well I was tired, Moony. Don’t be an ass and help me look or we can’t go.”

All four of them began searching their entire dorm. Sirius got down on the floor to look under the beds. He saw the patterned cloth under Peter’s bed, pulling it out and throwing it in James’ direction. He was about to get up when he saw a bundle of bright red fabric. Sirius grabbed it. He dropped the fabrics on his bed. Remus came over and picked one of them up.

“I guess these were the jumpers she was talking about? When did she even do this?”

Peter and James walked over to look at their own sweatshirts. They poked and prodded at them, tracing over their embroidered names.

“Your last game,” Sirius mentioned. “I guess she already finished them… they’re kind of nice.”

Peter laughed. “Well, they better be. All she does is play with yarn all damn day.”

They left the sweatshirts and began to explore the grounds. The marauders barely said hello to you at breakfast the next day. Remus had done the calculations. They earned enough money based off of the bets they did that they didn’t feel the need to go for the little stuff. Now, they were trying to get you to leave them alone. After the quidditch match and the bets, you were useless to them. Even your family being rich didn’t matter when they had the Potters. They figured if they started to ignore you, you would probably leave them by Christmas break. After the New Year, they’d be free of you.

You mimicked their quietness at breakfast. They almost didn’t notice you were there once again as you kept silent and just followed them around. None of them attempted to speak to you either. Even in Astronomy they asked other people if they needed help instead of asking you despite the fact that you were right next to them.

Your hands felt heavy holding up your telescope. This was just one of those days that you couldn’t stay up to watch the stars. Letting your eyes close, your head dropped onto Peter’s shoulder. He pushed your head off of him. You were too tired to notice, staying asleep but now on the floor of the Astronomy Tower. The professor dismissed the class with passes since Astronomy got out two hours after curfew. Everyone left. The marauders got into their beds when Remus looked around.

“Shit, I left my jacket up at the tower.”

Sirius chuckled. “Why do you even bring one if you don’t need it?”

“If I don’t, someone might figure it out.”

“Moons, no one’s going to think you’re a werewolf cause you don’t bring a jacket to Astronomy. Just go to bed, I’ll get it for you before breakfast.”

“Thanks.”

“You can thank me by doing my Charms essay.”

Remus rolled his eyes, knowing his friend was joking. Sirius slipped out before curfew ended right at the break of dawn. The house elves would start cleaning soon and he didn’t feel like tracking them all down to find Remus’ jacket. He climbed the tower steps two at a time. He tugged on his own robe, shivering as he got higher up.

Sirius stopped when he saw you curled up on the floor. He could hear your teeth chattering. Spotting Remus’ jacket, he stepped over you to grab it. Sirius looked down at you once more. He bent down and shook your shoulder, roughly. You woke up, wiping at your face as you sat up.

“How much of the lesson did I miss?” you asked in mild panic.

The raven-haired boy blinked. “Did you sleep here all night?”

“All ni— oh, it’s morning. I guess I did.” You sneezed. “And someone took my blanket.”

“Blanket?”

“Yeah, I get cold easily. The jacket isn’t enough.” You sneezed again. “I should probably go to Madame Pomfrey before I get too sick.”

You got up, shivering at the cold morning air. Sirius surprised himself by following you to the Hospital Wing. He listened to Madame Pomfrey scold you for continuing to take Astronomy when you constantly got sick in the winter from being left in the tower after class if you accidentally fell asleep.

The marauder frowned a bit. He didn’t think it was necessary for someone to steal your blanket. One day, you might actually freeze to death if it kept happening. Maybe they also could have paid enough attention to at least wake you up. He left when Madame Pomfrey kicked him out, stating that you’d be there all day.

Sirius shook his head when he left the Hospital Wing. He wasn’t even sure why he went down with you. That was a lie. He knew exactly why and it made him a mix of scared and disgusted. There was no way he was developing a crush on you. He was going to need to find Marlene like he did the last time those thoughts popped up. The other marauders looked at him as he handed Remus his jacket before sitting down for breakfast.

“What took you so long?” Peter asked.

“(Y/N) w—”

“Talked you to death about crochet in the corridor?”

“No, she was in the tower. Everyone left her.”

They all laughed except Sirius. He stabbed his fork into his eggs.

“It’s not that funny.”

“What?” James looked at his friend.

“I don’t know, I don’t think her freezing to death is funny.”

“You fuck the little freak twice and now you feel like you need to defend her?”

“I just think we could back off of her a bit.”

James blinked, realizing that Sirius wasn’t joking. He held up his hands in surrender.

“Okay, not funny… is this about her falling asleep or her in general?”

Sirius sighed, throwing his fork down. “I think I like the little freak.”

Whatever conversation that the marauders were having was abandoned. They were completely focused on Sirius, trying to figure out when he started being into you. The more they talked, the more Sirius kept finding little reasons to be into you. James huffed out a laugh.

“Well, glad we finished what we wanted to with the bet.”

Remus nodded. “I don’t think fucking Pads’ girl would end very well, you’re really territorial.”

Sirius glared at him. “She’s not my girl.”

“Please, you ask her out and she’s saying yes in a heartbeat.”

“I’m not asking her out. I don’t want to date her.”

The other three boys nodded in mock understanding. “Ah, yes, you just like her and want to shag her up and down the corridors.”

He scoffed. “She barely turns me on, this’ll go away in a minute.”

“Barely?” James asked. “That sounds like a step up from not at all, doesn’t it, Wormtail?”

“Sure does. Moony, didn’t he say last time that she didn’t get him hard at all?”

“Yep, you barely wanted to touch her. Was it because she’s weird or because you were ready to tear her clothes off?”

They laughed as their friend growled at them before getting up, tugging on Marlene’s wrist to take her with him. Sirius was determined to get over you. It worked momentarily. The minute Marlene left and you came out of the Hospital Wing, he was right back to square one.

He put himself in between you and James when it was time for Astronomy. Despite the class being only two days out of the week because of how late the class was, you only managed to stay up half the time. With a stuffy nose and a slight headache, you just couldn’t keep up this week. Sirius suddenly felt the weight of your head on his shoulder.

James, Remus, and Peter waited to see what he would do. He poked at your cheek. He poked a little harder when you didn’t stir. Sirius didn’t want to push you off of him but couldn’t take this. You woke up, eyes fluttering open. The other three marauders kept pushing each other as they tried not to laugh at the tinge of pink that suddenly appeared on Sirius’ cheeks when you looked up at him, still with your head on his shoulder.

“You fell asleep,” he said, eyes flicking down towards your lips for a moment.

“Thank you,” you said.

Sirius’ breath hitched in his throat. It was the same sleepy, whiny voice you had when they hooked up with you. He shook his head and went back to paying attention to the lesson.

Every now and then, Sirius looked over to make sure you were still awake. He was aware that he was slowly giving up. James, Peter, and Remus already came to that conclusion earlier. What the hell Padfoot saw in you? They weren’t sure. Sure, Sirius said that all those little acts of kindness worked away at him. They could understand him not finding you annoying. But nice deeds didn’t make someone hot. Did he not see you with the glasses?

When they got back to their room after class, Remus had gladly risked being punched in the face to make the joke that your pussy must have had some type of grip to make Sirius infatuated with you. Instead of punching him, Sirius chucked a pillow at his friend’s face. He fell asleep with a scowl and woke up the same way. The marauders howled in laughter when he confessed that you were in one of his dreams.

Sirius left early with James for his quidditch match so he wouldn’t have to run into you. Usually, you showed up at their dorm a few minutes before the game to walk with them. He couldn’t see you right now. If he did, he would lose all resolve completely. Part of him wanted to yell at you, make you cry so you would leave them alone and he could get over whatever weird crush he felt. He knew that he never would.

It started with the stupid sweatshirts and then the food then the Harpies’ game. You did little things for people just because you thought it would make them happy. Even when it wasn’t reciprocated. Deep down he found that kind of sweet. It was after seeing you half-frozen in the Astronomy Tower that he let his feelings come to the surface. He knew what it was like to feel abandoned by his family at a really vulnerable time in his life. It really stung him that he— and everyone else— did the same to you.

What made it worse was you still saw a good in people that he had long abandoned. He would never be so friendly with people that he didn’t know very well. But you thought you were friends with them and in a matter of days began to do little things for them.

He laughed at himself as he sat down in the stands. He liked you. He liked you and decided that there was nothing wrong with that. Sirius actively made a small space for you to sit next to him when you eventually show up with the others to the game.

You waited till after all the students started heading to the quidditch pitch to leave your room. With the quidditch game between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, you had the boys’ dorm to yourself. You were going to go support James in a minute but you wanted to do something first. Normally, you wouldn’t go behind anyone’s back but this felt sensitive in the way that Remus’ werewolf night felt sensitive. They wouldn’t notice if you nicked their map for half a day.

You just wanted to use it to see if there was a way to sneak to Hogsmeade without Filch noticing. If anyone knew, it would be the marauders. You would simply take the map, go to Hogsmeade as a trial while everyone was distracted, come back and return it. No one had to know you borrowed the map and you never had to worry about Filch catching you attempting to leave campus in the middle of the week again. All the good threads were always gone when the weekend came and new shipments came in on Wednesday.

You carefully crept into the boys’ room in case they were still there. Finding it empty, you strolled in. Last time you saw the map you were pretty sure it was in James’ trunk. You found a lot of things that weren’t the map. Moving on, you closed James’ trunk and went to another one. Four trunks later and the map was nowhere to be found. You pursed your lips in thought. Maybe they were doing something with it earlier? It was probably in someone’s bag.

You sat next to Sirius’ bag on his bed and went through it as gently as possible. You finally found some folded up parchment. Opening it up, you got comfortable so you could memorize the map. You frowned when a bunch of words greeted you instead of a diagram of the castle grounds. Your name caught your eye before you were about to fold up the parchment and put it back.

“Talk to (Y/N) for ten minutes,” you read. “One sickle.”

Your stomach twisted when you saw a little check mark and your roommates’ names next to the task. Half of your brain screamed at you to put the paper back while another half said to keep reading. Your eyes glazed over as you read the list. A lot of different names were on there, along with prices.

You felt stupid as you kept reading. You didn’t suddenly make friends like you and McGonagall talked about. You were a game. For some reason this year they decided to make a spectacle of you for their twisted entertainment. The marauders’ names were written down more than once. You sniffled as you shoved the list back where you found it.

It was beyond humiliating that they were all in on the joke but you. You didn’t know who made it and didn’t really care. They could have left you alone. You would have preferred that rather than being turned into a bet. You weren’t even sure why they would do such a thing. Would they even give you a reason when you asked? You weren’t sure if you wanted a reason. Not if it was going to make you feel worse than you already did.

There was nothing that killed self esteem more than learning that your friends only slept with you because it earned them five galleons. More technically but you didn’t want to add up the money on each individual act. Your feet began to move towards the quidditch pitch even though you wanted to go hide in your room. You had friends. Your heart kept screaming at you that you had friends. Even if they were fake, they were friends and you didn’t want them to leave you because you knew the truth. So you were going to go to the quidditch game and support James like you planned.

You sat down next to Sirius. He immediately split his pumpkin pasty in half and offered you some. He told himself that whatever he felt like doing with you, he was going to. When you shook your head, he gave the other half to Peter. He looked at you again to see some tear stains on your face. Without a second thought, his thumb traced gently over your cheek as he wondered if you were late to the game because you were crying.

“What happened?”

“Nothing.” You shook your head. “My… my mom just wrote to tell me one of our garden gnomes died.”

“Oh.” Sirius nodded even though he had no clue why that was upsetting but he was trying to understand you better. “Well I’m sure he lived a good life that… pesky gnome…yeah.”

“Mmm hmm,” you muttered and turned to the game.

(Part 5)

#marauders x reader #sirius black x reader #sirius black x black!reader

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1kook · 5 years ago

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kissanime & foreplay

this is part of my netflix & chill collection !

summary; You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans. warnings; mentions of hentai yes u read right, kook leads most of it, cunnilingus, masturbation (f), oral (f), use of a sex toy, fingering, nipple play, face sitting/fucking/riding idk (f), praise kink, hints of dumbification, cum eating, jk is like passive aggressive in this one, 4 (f) orgasms, this is the kicker: sub kook at the end😳, like 2 sec of dom yn lol, & u get 0.002 sec of adams apple kink misc; more dumb story lines, made up sex stores bc my creativity knows no bounds, Jungkook plays nice but is actually mean for the majority of it, once again doyeon plays a pivotal role in the furthering of women empowerment, internal love monologues about jk best boy<3 wc; 8.2k

notes; back when kissanime was offed I remember looking at this fic in the drafts like what the hell we gone do now.. n almost deleting it but I was like yknow what this isn’t a 1kook fic unless there’s smthn weird going on so here we are. also yes I know ohshc is on Netflix shut up!!!!!

HAPPY BDAY MY LOVE AND MUSE JEON JUNGKOOK !!!! 🥺💜

—

The good thing about getting your own apartment is that you finally have a place to call your own. There’s no limit on how many potted plants you can squeeze into a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment, and if there was one, you’re twelve in and no one has said anything to you yet. You don’t have to share the shower space with anyone, label all your products with a hastily scribbled name. There’s a bathtub—something you haven’t had the pleasure of using during college—and a fairly open living space. There’s so many empty spots to fill with useless decorations and family heirlooms and that ugly plastic rooster Jungkook won you at the summer kick-off fair last month.

The bad thing about having your own place is that the entire world and their mothers seem to know now. Despite graduating from college, you still keep in touch with your trusted graduate mentor Kim Namjoon, who is still very much in school, and has made it his mission to bring you a new plant every week, hence your growing collection. Your childhood friend comes over every Saturday morning to lounge around after her Friday nights out. Jungkook, although the only one who is ever actually invited, runs through your strawberry scented body wash like a madman.

And of course, Doyeon.

Your beloved college roommate of four years, Kim Doyeon, has been the bane of your apartment experience so far. Unlike you, who had slaved away for four years, saving every penny you made during college for this moment, Doyeon was a big spender. She blew every dollar she ever came across, which is why she’s going to be stuck living at her parent’s house for at least a couple more years.

Nothing wrong with that, of course, if she wasn’t the most maniac online shopper in existence. It hadn’t been a problem in college because she was always good old pals with the students who worked the mailroom. If they saw something questionable, they’d let it slide as long as it was under Miss Kim Doyeon, Room 229.

The reason it became an issue for her now is because it’s poor Mrs. Kim who signs over the package from Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! one Tuesday afternoon as it is delivered to their suburban home.

So now she’s taken to ordering all her freaky stuff to your new apartment, where the small cabinet by the door has quickly become home to her impulsive shopping habits. Truthfully, you don’t mind accepting Doyeon’s weird packages, and have long since grown used to the uncomfortable looks the mail carrier gives you.

Jungkook’s supposed to come over today and you really hope he doesn’t ask about the state of your hall cabinet. Now that you work at a small company outside of your degree to make ends meet, time with Jungkook has been significantly decreased. You weren’t in college anymore, so you didn’t have the luxury of dropping by his house whenever you wanted to in between classes. Of course, it’s mostly your schedule that conflicts with your planned hangouts, because Jungkook is still working his dream job from home.

However, because Jungkook is quite possibly the most amazing person on this planet, he’s started coming over every Saturday night to make sure you’re still alive and not dying. And so weekly media binges are a thing, and it’s currently week four.

He gave up on showing you the Marvel movie franchise last week, after you had asked where Wonder Woman was three times in a row. Since the Barbie Movie Debacle of last month, you’ve found a nice medium between who picks when. Jungkook picks most of the time, because most of the time you don’t really care. It’s become a running joke between the two of you that movie binges are usually just terribly masked excuses to go to town on each other, so you don’t mind missing an entire 15th Century French Revolution documentary if it means Jungkook is deep in your guts by the time King Louis XIV gets beheaded or whatever they did to him. Is it too obvious you didn’t watch the documentary?

Occasionally, there are instances where one of you genuinely does want to watch something, in which case you have an intense match of rock-paper-scissors to decide who’s picking that night. Most of the time, Jungkook wins. But for every match Jungkook wins, he promises you’ll pick the next one so you’ve long since stopped trying to actually beat him.

Long story short, last weekend you sat through a two part Ancient Aliens episode on the connection between aliens and American presidents.

It was the most god-awful conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of, but Jungkook ate up every minute of it. By the time the two hosts announced their conclusion you were just about ready to rip your own ears off and single-handedly fist fight every producer on the channel for allowing the production of such an atrocious show.

Anyway, because you had so bravely sat through the entire evening without complaints— well, no complaints towards Jungkook’s terrible taste; the show, however, was not safe from your wicked tongue —Jungkook has so graciously allowed you to pick the media for this weekend.

You’ve been telling him for the longest time that you were going to hook him on anime. It was one of the few interests you always believed Jungkook should possess, being a weeb and all, because it was only fair that he had one questionable trait to balance out the rest of his perfection. Liking anime isn’t bad— if a hottie like you enjoyed it, then it obviously had its perks. However, you know a lot of other people are turned off by anime-enthusiasts due to preconceived notions of the genre and the viewer-base.

Now, it was a widely known fact that you always had ulterior motives. So maybe turning Jungkook into a weeb was just a ploy to turn other women off from him and keep your jealousy at bay. Sue you, your boyfriend was a walking wet dream, and you’d do anything to keep him to yourself.

After long deliberation, you’ve decided on introducing Jungkook to anime with a classic: Ouran High School Host Club, a god among anime, a true Beyonce among shoujos. The only problem was that you absolutely refused to pay Crunchyroll or Funimation when you could so easily find the entire show on KissAnime.com, home to only the finest of hentai ads and Are You a Robot? questions.

He sends you a text when he’s outside your building, and five minutes later there’s a rap against your door.

“Hi,” you smile up at him, heart fluttering in that same trademark way it did whenever Jungkook was within a five foot radius. He smiles back softly, leaning down to peck your lips as you step aside for him to enter. He’s got on those cotton sweats that you love, the ones that send your brain into a censored frenzy. But he’s also got that soft curl to his hair that lets you know he came here straight out of the shower in his hurry to see you. How you managed to bag a dream boyfriend like him was beyond you.

You bask in the overwhelming feeling of unannounced love for all of ten seconds before Jungkook is lifting up a square package you hadn’t seen at his hip. “Mailman gave me this,” he says, waving around the signature bright pink packaging of Sexuality Unleashed. Jungkook, for all his politeness and respect, seemed to falter in those categories when it came to you. He turns the box over, reading the big fat name of the company on the side. “Since when did you start buying sex toys?” he asks rather loudly in the hallway.

You yank him inside, hurriedly slamming the door shut before any of your neighbors can come out into the hallway and get a peek of this avid sex toy consumer. “They’re not mine!” you hiss, standing still when he uses you to balance himself as he tugs off his shoes. You snatch the box out of his hands, turning it around to make sure it is actually addressed to your home. Sure enough, it’s for you. Couldn’t there have been some other sex toy fanatic on this floor?

With his shoes off, Jungkook wastes no time enveloping you in a hug, the Sexuality Unleashed box tumbling to the ground. “It’s okay, baby, no need to be embarrassed.”

You groan, leaning your forehead against his shoulder as he continues to pat your back like you’re actually embarrassed to be caught buying toys— you’re not. You’re embarrassed he caught you with a sex toy you simply can’t put to use. “Whatever,” you sigh, “your gross popcorn is in my bedroom and it’s probably stale.”

He releases you, not before pulling you into a slow and languid kiss that has you clutching tightly at the front of his shirt. He pulls away with a soft smooch, right eye falling into a wink. “Bring the box, gorgeous,” he teases, before sauntering off in the direction of your bedroom.

You groan loudly. “It’s not mine!” you repeat, but for some reason do as he says.

Not only do you have no idea what’s in this package, but you’re frankly not too keen on finding out. You’re more interested in Jungkook’s reaction to one of your favorite animes of all time. The package is tossed onto the end of the bed, where Jungkook has already stripped himself of his socks and cuddled beneath your covers.

Your laptop has gone dark from inactivity so you slam down on the space bar to bring it back to life. Your first mistake was pressing anything at all. It flickers back on alright, but you forget that you are working with a minefield of ads ready to explode. You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans.

“What the hell is this?” he asks in a tone that screams he has never had to fight viruses off his computer just to watch something at two in the morning.

You ignore him, cuddling into his side as you hurriedly type in the title of the anime before another annoying ad can intercept you. “KissAnime,” you answer for now, accidentally clicking down on the mousepad with the heel of your palm. Another tab opens up to some sketchy credit site. You huff.

“Baby, I swear I just saw like twelve viruses,” he says. “And what even are these?” he scoffs, jabbing a finger at one of the many ads that lines the perimeter of the website. “Animated teacher porn?”

By the grace of god, you somehow manage to get onto the episode selection screen without having another tab open on you. You smile in relief, turning the power of your excitement onto Jungkook… only to find his eyes narrowed in on the square advertisement for some hentai website. “What? You wanna watch hentai now?” you snort, placing the laptop on his legs as you cuddle into his side.

Jungkook sputters, cheeks tinting red at the mere insinuation he would ever consume such media. “No,” he glares, releasing the arm around your shoulders to huffily cross them over his chest. “I am not going to watch anatomically incorrect illustrations of a woman teacher relieving herself, ___,” he says rather matter-of-factly.

You snort, repeating, “a woman teacher,” mockingly and in a high pitched voice that, honestly, doesn't sound anything like him. You click play on the video box that appears after only about twenty more pop-up ads. “Silence, you nymphomaniac, the episode is starting.” Jungkook pulls you close with a displeased expression, finally quieting down when you put it on full screen and the ads disappear from his view.

You’re beginning to wonder if Jungkook really is the script and plot dissector he claims to be, or if he just lives to get under your skin. He doesn’t make it three minutes without finding something to critique. First it’s the quality of the frames, and then it’s the characterization of the lead character. He nitpicks everything about the best anime in existence, and by the end of the first episode you’re considering breaking up with him.

“Oh my god,” you groan, tearing yourself away from him. He’s all laid up against your mountain of pillows, tongue prodding at the insides of his mouth in that ridiculously attractive habit of his. Usually, you’d be tripping over yourself to kiss him, but you’re about two seconds from ripping his head off. “I mean this in the nicest way possible, baby,” you sigh, picking up his hand in yours. “You gotta shut up.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I have to shut up?” he asks in a scandalized tone. “You sang through the entire intro, off tune may I add.”

At this rate you’re getting nowhere, so you just snatch the laptop back up before you actually hurt his feelings. You escape the full screen, met with those hentai ads that are slowly becoming the bane of Jungkook’s existence.

“Who actually watches those anyway?” he mumbles, covering the sidebar full of naked cartoon ladies with his palm for you, a real gentleman if you ever saw one. “Really?” he says, knocking his pointer finger against a particularly raunchy ad with the caption Be a Good Boy and Let her Play beneath it.

You snort. “You are such a baby,” you tease, pinching his cheek much to his annoyance. “What? Can’t handle seeing some anime titties?”

Jungkook shoves your hand away, leaning back to become one with the pillows as you continue onto the next episode. “They’re just weird,” he admits. “And make unrealistic faces.”

“Unrealistic,” you repeat, finally giving one of the ads the time of day. There’s an adorably drawn character making the most perverted expression, knees hiked up to her chest. Her face is twisted up, drooling like a dog and with her eyes crossed in ecstasy. You shrug. “Just because you can’t get those faces out of me doesn’t mean they’re unreal.”

The second the words leave your mouth Jungkook is letting out a scandalized scoff, sitting up to level you with another glare. “First of all, I can get you like that,” he defends, tapping his finger against the ad on screen. “In fact, I can get you like that without even trying, so let’s not say anything too drastic now, okay?”

His sudden bout of defensiveness makes something playful in you switch on, laying back down beside him with a smirk. “Oh, you can make me all stupid like this?”

Jungkook scoffs. “Yes.”

“Uh huh,” you drawl, tracing a finger up his chest teasingly; Jungkook knocks your knuckles away, obviously still butt hurt about your comment. That’s fine, because a slightly riled up Jungkook was always the best Jungkook. You sit up and lean in close, letting your hand slip beneath his hoodie, palm running over his bare shoulder and around the top of his back. You give his nape a light squeeze, lips pressed against the shell of his ear. “Why don’t you prove it to me, Jungkookie?” you purr, before pulling away.

His jaw twitches at the nickname, one shapely brow unconsciously arching as he regards you with a calculative expression.

The thing about Jungkook was that, after almost a year of dating, you know just how to push his buttons. He has a rather calm and collected exterior to him, the same one he’s had since the day you met him, but beneath it all was a childish competitiveness that raged with the heat of ten suns. He disliked being taunted like you were doing now, especially when his credibility was at stake.

Honestly speaking, you don’t doubt Jungkook can make you look as goofy and messy as those hentai ads. In fact you’re rather confident he can. Either way, him being right or you being right, you would still get some fun out of it.

“Hm?” you add, tracing your hand up to dance over the skin of his cheek, pads of your fingers running over that stiff jaw. “Are you scared I’m right and you’re wrong?”

A hand snaps up to catch your wrist, fingers tight around your skin until you’re shivering against him. “Oh baby, I can make you cum until you cry,” he murmurs, his usual sweet and lilting tone dropping to a low vibration that makes your pussy throb beneath your panties. Your heart leaps in your chest, lips falling open when he ducks down to brush them against yours. It’s too light, just a simple touch that makes you follow his mouth when he pulls back.

With one firm shove, the laptop is tumbling off the bed, thudding loudly against your bedside rug. Jungkook leans over you, his usual trademark doe eyes zeroed in on you with the focus of a laser. “Have a little faith in me,” he teases, and when he presses close you can feel his fattening cock flush against your thigh. Your body is begging to be touched, every brush of his fingers against your skin searing trails in their wake.

Suddenly, he’s drawing back. “Kook?” you frown, barely biting down on a childish whimper when he snuggles back into your mountain of pillows, one arm stretched behind his head.

He flashes you a smile. “Go on,” he says, arms behind his head. “Show me how to get you like that.”

“By myself?” you ask, shifting onto your knees anyway. Jungkook nods, a soft jut of his chin as he gives you another one of those easy going smiles of his. His goal seems a little unclear, but you had a ridiculous amount of trust in your boyfriend that whatever he had planned was certain to be good. With one final skeptical glance his way, you sink down onto your bum, knees spreading and giving him a clear view of your little pink boy shorts, elastic band hugging your waist.

The material of your t-shirt is guided away, held to your chest by the hand currently not traversing the length of your stomach, gliding across soft skin, over your belly button and past that band until it slips beneath. You chance another look Jungkook’s way, only to find his eyes wonderfully downcast in the direction of your core. That smile is gone now, replaced with a somber look as he watches your hand move mysteriously beneath the fabric of your undergarments.

The first brush of your forefinger against your swollen button makes you twitch, back arching at the sensation that is magnified by his watchful gaze. “Mmh,” you bite down, hand twisting in the material of your shirt. Jungkook’s eyes glare a molten path across your skin, from the comfy bra that peeks out from beneath your rumpled shirt to the wrist slowly working beneath your panties.

A hand falls over your thigh, tattooed fingers giving the skin a light squeeze as you get to work swirling your bud around. The sight of his inked skin on yours makes something warm blossom in your lower abdomen, your eyes following the inky swirls up, up, up. They lead you to the face of your very handsome boyfriend, long lashes fanning across his cheekbones as he watches you play with yourself. “Wanna take these off for me?” he says, the tip of his pointer finger wiggling beneath the fabric of your shorts.

You nod hurriedly, wiggling around on the bed until you’re on your back, legs bent in front of you. The shorts come down your legs; the simplest press of your thighs makes something quiver in your abdomen. You toss them off to the side, and just as you go to sit back up, Jungkook places a hand on your knee. “Stay like this for me,” he says, sitting up from his mountain of pillows to glance down at you. You melt into the plush mattress beneath you, staring down at him between your legs. He’s got that adoring look in his eyes, the one that makes you feel so warm and in love, it’s only natural your hand slips down to play with your bare clit again. “That’s my girl,” he smiles, rubbing a hand down the outside of your thigh, urging your legs to fall open.

There’s this overflowing vat of arousal that builds up inside of you everytime Jungkook is around, like the moment your eyes land on him you’re reminded of every position he’s ever had you in. You remember the soft brush of his hands on your body, the way his lips feel on yours, the soft tickle of his hair when he gets too close. It makes your heart lurch in your chest, like if you don’t grab onto him tightly this feeling will slip through your fingers and out of your life. So you were crazily in love with your boyfriend— now what?

A puckered set of lips meets the inside of your thigh, the action ripping you from your overly gooey, overly soft inner rambling. Your hand trails down your quivering pussy lips, collecting your dripping wetness as you go. At the same time, Jungkook kisses down the inside of your thigh, soft smacks of his lips against your skin filling the air with an emotion that makes you bite down a whimper. Your hole puckers at the brush of your fingers, anticipating an entrance that you yearn to give into soon.

His mouth is on you before your finger can go deeper than a centimeter in. But Jungkook doesn’t brush your hand off, doesn’t shove you away to prove his mouth was undoubtedly better. He places a kiss over your knuckles, before swallowing up your significantly smaller hand with his, that of which he clasps together over your navel.

You groan, head rolling from side to side. “Don’t be so soft with me,” you whine, leg twitching when he presses a kiss against your engorged bundle of nerves. “Push me around like that one time, you know I like it.”

Jungkook grins, mouthing over your clit with practiced ease that has you releasing all kinds of whimpers and sighs. He’s got his other hand wrapped around your thigh, strong arm pulling you closer to that devious mouth and tongue that lavished attention on your clit. “Need me to be mean to you, baby?” he purrs, curling his tongue in such a way that it makes your entire body tense up, muscles pulled tight. “Want me to push you around like the stupid little girl you are?” You moan, head bobbing up and down at the ideas he stuffs in your mind. As he moves down the length of your cunt, that round nose you love brushes against your bud, and the cheeky shit takes an obnoxiously loud sniff of it, a soft groan breathed against your lower lips. “But isn’t this better?” he hums, languidly molding his lips against your lower ones, much in the same way he does with the ones on your face; he moves slowly, slips his tongue in every few seconds before eventually diving in head on. “Slow... and so easy.”

“Kook,” you mewl, getting this overwhelming urge to cover your face with your hands. But you can’t, because he’s knotted one hand with yours and his fingers only tighten when you try to yank them apart. Instead you’re left pressing one knuckle against your mouth, brows pinching as he begins slowly fucking his tongue into your cunt. “F-Faster,” you beg. He, of course, ignores your plea.

The wet mass moves past the clenched muscles around your hole, nose brushing against your lips with every intrusion. Every few cycles he stops to press a kiss against your pussy, so hard and wet that it hurts when he pulls off. You’re left writhing and moaning, your heel knocking against his shoulder when he pushes your leg up closer to your chest. “It’s enough,” you cry, your entire body shivering.

Jungkook pulls off with a loud pop, lips glistening with your arousal. He’s got this glint on his eyes, like he’s thoroughly entertained by your reactions. He shuffles around to get comfortable, finally releasing that grip on your hand. Immediately, your newly freed hand jumps forward to tangle in the hair above his ear, tracing down the delicate curve of his cheekbone. Jungkook turns his head, pressing a soft peck against your open palm that makes your heartbeat thunder in your ears.

As he moves around, his leg bumps against something that has both of you pausing. It sounds out of place next to your shallow breaths, and both of you glance down only to catch sight of that stupid package from Sexuality Unleashed teetering on the edge of the bed.

The moment you see it, it’s like you’re transported into an omnipresent view of the scene, the next few hours flashing before your eyes as Jungkook snorts. You know he’s going to reach for it in two seconds, and you know he’s going to tear the hot pink packaging apart with his bare hands. He does so with a scary amount of power, the industrial tape not standing a chance against him. A box roughly the same size as the package falls out, and before you can kick it away and save yourself from suffering beneath Jungkook’s teasing antics, he’s snatching up the box.

“The Bullet Bestie,” he reads aloud, dark eyes flying across the text with lightning speed before that box is also being ripped open. (Briefly, there’s a voice in your head that thinks of Doyeon, but you’re not sure why.) Out tumbles a little pink bullet with a strap on one end that bounces against your thigh and an even smaller remote.

“Baby,” you rush out, the sight of the tiny toy making your heart thunder in your chest. “We can look at it another time,” you try, hands coming up to brush against his face again. “Why don’t you finish off here?” you ask, a sickeningly sweet politeness dripping off your tongue as the knot in your tummy fades into the background of his attention.

Jungkook ignores you, picking up the remote with a wondrous look in his eyes. Before you can try to persuade him back between your legs, a quiet click cuts you off and the little bullet whirls to life. You yelp at the sudden vibrations against the inside of your thigh, so close to your throbbing core. The jump of your thighs has it falling onto the mattress below you, wide eyes snapping back to the smirk that grows on his face.

“No,” you say slowly, sitting back up, “no, no,” you try, your usual assertiveness melting into a whiny cry as you try to wiggle away from him and the nefarious ideas infesting his lust-addled mind. You’re barely turning, ready to make a run for it and hand him his victory by forfeit, when Jungkook is catching you by the waist. Your hips get pulled up, arms clawing uselessly at the sheets beneath you as he drags you close to him. He’s fast, already having moved onto his knees behind you, and when he yanks you up, you can feel every hot plane of his body aligned with your backside. “Kook, please just make me cum,” you gasp.

There’s a smile pressed against your shoulder, lips still wet from before, kissing along the side of your neck. “Look at my girl,” he murmurs, and you nearly jump out of your skin when something smooth is traced along your thigh. One hand slips beneath the material of your shirt, soothingly rubbing circled against your skin. This hand also holds the tiny remote between two fingers, and every nerve in your body is on edge waiting for it to be used. “Where’s that smartmouth now?”

“Jungkook,” you try to warn. But there’s no bite to your words, only an anticipation that grows the closer he moves that damned toy between your thighs. “Baby, we-we can play another time, okay? Just please—“

A soft click, and suddenly your spine is giving out on you, upper body flopping forward as Jungkook runs the vibrations over your clit. Of course Jungkook follows, never letting you slip far from his reach. A loud moan spills from your lips, lower lip wobbling at the unreal amounts of pleasure he bestows upon you with such a small toy. “W-Wait,” you sob, the coil from before suddenly magnified tenfold. It makes your orgasm loom over you bigger than ever, a wave that threatens to spill over and drown you in one go. “No-please.”

His mouth presses against your ear, hot breaths fanning against the skin there. “Hey pretty girl, does it feel good?” he husks out, kissing just below your ear. “Aw fuck,” he groans, something stiff pressing against the cleft between your cheeks, “can’t even see if you’re making that stupid face right now.”

You are, but you don’t even have the words to tell him that. The moment the vibrator had made contact with your already ravished clit, your eyes had rolled into the back of your head. You don’t doubt you look like those silly ads you’d laughed at earlier, mouth opening and closing every few seconds as he circles the toy around your bud. You settle on a high-pitched whimper that has Jungkook laughing meanly against your ear.

It ends too soon, the stimulation from Jungkook eating you out for a few minutes combining with the bullet to form a powerful duo that swallows you whole. An embarrassingly loud moan rips itself from your throat, hands twisting in the sheets beneath you as it washes over you. It’s so powerful, it blinds you, pussy spasming. Jungkook’s name is repeated about a thousand times in between, your body eventually melting back into the mattress as the final shocks run through you.

The vibrator clicks off just as quietly as it turned on, your harsh breaths filling the room in its place. “Good girl,” Jungkook praises, raining down a parade of kisses against your shoulder. You mewl in appreciation, still awkwardly shoving your face into the mattress, and your hips in the air. From the corner of your eyes, you watch him set the glistening toy off to the side, and you’re just about ready to thank the heavens for such an experience with your boyfriend, when said boyfriend hits you with a curveball.

The gentle pecks against yours shoulder dissolve into harsh kisses, rough hands trailing up your waist. The t-shirt gathers around his knuckles, pushed and pushed until he’s got those same hands cupping your breasts. “Did you like that?” he asks, biting down against your shoulder; the sensation is dulled by your shirt being in the way but it still makes you whine. You moan softly, nodding against the mattress as he gets to kneading your breasts over your bra. “Mm,” Jungkook sighs, “my pretty girl was so good for me, wasn’t she?”

Those deft fingers run back down, crawl beneath the elastic of your lounge bra and push it away until your breasts are bouncing out of their cage. “Kook,” you sigh, eyes fluttering shut as he traces circles around your nipples. “W-Wait,” you whimper, suddenly reminded of the swollen cock pressed against your backside when he leans closer.

“Shhh,” he soothes, tweaking your nipples. “Relax for me, sweetheart,” he coos, flicking your hardened nipples with his fingers. You can’t relax, not with your body still so sensitive and him playing with you. Still, the low intonation makes something soft and warm settle in your chest, the kisses against your jaw making your eyes fall shut. “That’s it,” he says, giving one nipple a playful twist that draws a high-pitched moan from you.

Just as you’re beginning to fall into the rhythm of Jungkook’s caresses and voice, he releases one breast to traverse his hand down and over your tummy, to your sensitive pussy. You gasp, biting down on your lip as he teasingly flicks your clit with his fingers. “Bet you could come again now,” he murmurs, taking the tip of your earlobe into his mouth and nibbling softly. You groan, shoving your face into the sheets as if that will save you from your doom. “Bet your pretty little pussy can cream itself just like this, isn’t that right, sweet girl?”

You whimper, hips bucking back against him when he begins nudging your bud, lewd sounds reaching your ears. His other hand remains on your breast, no longer toying with your nipple but simply holding it almost comfortingly. There’s a smirk pressed against your skin, that pearly white smile you usually adore so much teasing you as he circles your nub.

“Come on,” he encourages quietly, kissing up the column of your neck again. You moan, thighs quivering as he strokes a second orgasm out of you with no struggle. Your eyes and throat burn at the heat that washes over you, and you release a hoarse scream into the mattress— Jungkook chuckles at the sound, egging you on with that low voice until your muscles go limp a second time.

When he rolls you onto your stomach again, you try desperately to cover the tears that blur your vision, turning away from him like a child when he tries to look. “Crybaby, crybaby,” he sings teasingly, prying your hands away to capture your mouth with his for the first time that night. “Lemme see those tears, baby,” he purrs.

He tastes like you, tongue dripping with that sweet tang of your pussy, and he smells like you too. It strokes the flames of you ego, arms eventually wrapping around his shoulders as he settles above you. He pulls off with a curl of his tongue against your swollen lips, brown eyes lazily staring down at you. It’s embarrassing how well kept he still was compared to your half-nude state of dress. His skin is all glowy and pretty, not a single tear track in sight, and his grin is still too relaxed for your liking.

Jungkook’s body feels so warm and comforting against yours, muscles keeping the heat trapped between your bodies. You go to brush a hand through his hair, needing to feel the familiarity of those silky locks, before he’s suddenly leaning away. He shuffles onto his knees again, glancing down at your thoroughly abused cunt with a quirk in his brows.

“God,” you groan, knocking your foot against his side. “Just fuck me already,” you huff despite your earlier fatigue. You could only go so long without feeling Jungkook’s fat demon cock inside of you.

He snorts at your snappy tone, cutely tilting his head to the side to move his hair out of his face. His jaw looks sharp from this angle, facial features covered in shadows the lamplight behind him can’t touch. “Can’t,” he announces, and you could pull your hair out from all this unnecessary build up.

Truth to be told, you and Jungkook were both equally as unrestrained when it came to each other. Most of the time, the lead up to actual, penetrative, key-in-lock sex included a couple minutes of heavy petting from his end, and maybe a half assed handjob from you. Sometimes if you felt extra attentive, he’d eat you out and you'd him off. But for the most part, the two of you jumped straight into it after an orgasm, like horny teenagers despite the two of you being twenty-three now.

The most adventurous you’d ever gotten up until the point was maybe two orgasms bestowed upon you by a crazed Jungkook. And, well. You had hit two orgasms now. You were ready for his monster cock.

“Kook,” you whine childishly.

Jungkook shakes you off, placing a palm on both your knees. Slowly, he spreads your thighs apart again, eyes zeroed in on the glossy folds that come into view, the sparkling pearly cum that leaks out of your hole. “I can’t, baby,” he says, almost pained. “I gotta clean you up first,” he insists, and before you can tell him how counterproductive it is to lick you clean of your arousal before fucking you, he’s diving face first into your cunt.

But the biggest surprise doesn’t come from Jungkook going in for thirds, but from the hands he clasps around your thighs, the sheer strength he uses to roll you over (ignoring the shriek you let out) to sit you on his face. “No, no,” you yelp immediately, “I-I‘ll break you,” you cry, trying to escape from his hold.

From beneath your thighs, dark eyes peering up at you daringly, you can see the clear warning on Jungkook’s face. It’s a look that loudly says don’t you dare fucking move, shapely brows sending a jolt of genuine fear down your spine for a moment. “Jungkook,” you fret, trying to ignore the arousal that only continues to blossom as his tongue laps against your folds for the second time that night. “I’m, I’m,” you stammer, hands burying themselves in his hair as he ignores your cries. “I’ll break you,” you try again, spine arching when he slurps your clit into his mouth. “I-I’ll—“

He pulls off with a pop. “Fuck my face, baby,” he says, as if he hadn’t heard a single of your concerns at all. His nose nudges against your clit, a whimper catching in your throat. Briefly, his hand disappears from around your thigh, and when it returns, that tiny bullet vibrator from earlier is pressed against your thigh. “You got that?”

You nod, internally torn apart by your fear of crushing him and your need to drag your cunt all over your boyfriend’s handsome face. You glance down at him, watch him slip that vibrator into his mouth for just a second and lewdly coat it in his saliva, before he’s reaching around to shove it past your pussy lips. They’re still swollen and puffy, but have long since relaxed enough for him to slip it in. “B-But what if—“

“You won’t,” he cuts off, readjusting himself closer to your cunt again, “come on, pretty girl.”

The reason you think you and Jungkook click so well was because he was able to bring that vulnerable side out of you every now and then. He knew you liked to parade around with that huge superiority complex, and he loved it. But he also knew there were things you liked and disliked, and sometimes it took a little pushing for you to reveal them.

For a second, that horny cloud over his irises lifts, and he gives you one of those cute, sloppy winks as he taps your thigh gently. “Fuck my face, sweetheart,” he whispers, “drag that pretty cunt all over me until I can’t breathe.” A gasp catches in your throat, hands unconsciously curling against his scalp. He notices, and flashes you a lazy smirk. “You can do that, can’t you?”

Something akin to adoration blooms in your chest, and before you can blurt out something embarrassing—like I love you—there’s a soft click that has The Bullet Bestie revving up inside of you. You gasp, the sudden vibrations deep inside your pussy making your hips snap forward, clit rubbing against Jungkook’s nose.

“O-Oh,” you cry, and that’s all it takes for you to lose it. Your hips start off slow, at first just savoring the wet drag of his tongue against your lips, his nose against your clit. He sticks his tongue out for you, and part of you wants to tell him he’s a good boy, that corny hentai ad flashing in your mind, but you doubt you’ll survive the aftermath of that. Once you find that perfect pace, your hands are practically yanking at his hair, pushing him further into the mattress as you ride his face like he’s nothing but a toy. “Kook, Jungkook,” you pant, grinding your lower lips against his all too eager mouth.

It feels oddly weird being over him like this, using him like this. You like to think you and Jungkook have equal power in the bedroom, but you will admit that more often than not, he assumes control by default. You’re not particularly bothered by that, because you doubt you’d ever come up with the crazy ideas Jungkook did when he was horny (okay, a lie, because you definitely have thought of crazy sex schemes before).

But, this moment…

The power was quickly going to your head. “Fuck,” you sob, roughly dragging the length of your pussy over and over his face. The hands around your thighs are pressing against your skin with a strength that would hurt were you not blinded by arousal. His eyes are shut, lids fluttering open every now and then as he watches you buck wildly over his face like he was a pillow in high school and your parents were gone for the weekend.

It doesn’t help that the rhythmic pulses of the vibrator inside of you are doing their job well, the tongue that slips into your pussy joining together to form a powerful combination. It’s ultimately what has you halting your manic thrusts, instead falling into a slow grind over him. Your hips circle, eyes squeezed shut as you lose yourself in the lapping of his tongue against your dripping hole. “Mmmf,” you mewl, biting down on your lower lip as the wet muscle prods against a delicate spot within you. You hear feels light, view of the gorgeous man beneath you obstructed by the eyelids that can't seem to stay open. “N-No,” you cry, pulling his hair more roughly than you intended to in order to redirect him. “There, there,” you whimper, holding him tight against your pussy.

Beneath you, Jungkook exhales harshly against your lips, hands moving frantically over your thighs as he works his tongue inside of you alongside the bullet vibrator. If you weren’t so caught up in your own pleasure, all kinds of sounds spilling from your lips, you would have heard the quiet moans that fall from his. Alas.

It takes a few more pulses from the toy and a few more licks from Jungkook until you’re coming for the third time that night, features twisting up as your pussy clenches around his tongue before spilling down his mouth. Your back arches, a defeated moan escaping you as you release the same mess he’d claimed to clean up onto his lovely face. You can barely breathe afterwards, mouth dry and head dizzy when Jungkook finally pops back out from between your thighs. You barely have enough time to lift yourself up, pussy lightly brushing across his Adam’s apple as you stop yourself from crushing his windpipe. It makes you twitch.

“Good girl,” Jungkook praises with a cheeky smile that distracts you from the bullet toy he retrieves from your quivering cunt. His face is absolutely glistening from your arousal, skin warm and flush. He’s looking up at you like you’re some mythical goddess and he’s but a humble villager coming to pay his respects at the temple that is your body. Fuck, were you okay? You don’t think you’ve ever felt this good in your entire life, and Jungkook’s mushy gaze was doing things to your heart.

He presses a kiss against the inside of your thigh before helping you off of him, laughing meanly when you flop limply down beside him. He’s still fully clothed, a fact that irks you when he leans over to kiss you with that glossy face of his. “D’you like it?” he mumbles, kissing softly down your face. You nod, legs twitching from the aftermath of that wild ride. “I saw it, y’know,” he says suddenly.

“Saw what?” you mumble, mindlessly rolling your head to the side and exposing more skin when he begins kissing along your neck.

Jungkook says nothing, just rolls over you. Part of you thinks he’s crazy, but you’re suddenly hit with the realization that while Jungkook’s drawn three orgasms out of you in the course of an hour, you hadn’t done anything for him. Before you can dive head first into swallowing his cock, he’s kissing you softly. “That stupid face,” he smirks, slotting his mouth against yours. “That weird, now realistic face,” he tacks on.

You huff out a laugh, throwing your leg around his waist comfortably. Jungkook smiles, kisses you one last time before settling in your arms, face cutely pressed in between your boobs. “Hey,” you call, “don't you wanna cum too?”

He shakes his head, a soft sigh filling the air. “Nah,” he says, cuddles closer into you. “Rest now, baby.”

You roll your eyes. “I can feel your dick against my thigh,” you point out, wiggling your pelvis upward to brush against his throbbing erection. Jungkook holds you down in an effort to stop you. “Fuck me.”

He groans against your collarbone. “No, you’re tired,” he tries to convince you, but his skin is warm and flushed in the way it always gets when he’s riled up. “Sleep.”

With the leg around his hip, you pull him closer. “Fuck me, Jungkookie,” you purr, using the hands in his hair to turn his face up towards yours. His dark eyes are drawn down cutely, pouty lips too. “Use my body,” you suggest, “I’m yours anyway.”

His eyes flutter shut, a quiet whimper falling from his lips. “Don’t say that,” he sighs, “makes me wanna do very mean things to you.”

You smile. “You can do whatever you want to me, don’t you know that?” Another groan, his head falling forward until he’s hiding in your neck. Still, there’s movement from below, he sweats slipping down at his hips until that throbbing cock is pressed into the tiny crease where your thigh meets your pelvis. There’s a moment of hesitation, and you wonder if this is what he felt like earlier when he’d managed to get you to sit on his face. “Inside, Jungkookie,” you murmur, reaching down to line him up with your sensitive entrance. He whines softly, arms wrapping around you as he pulls you close. “Good boy.”

Despite your earlier belief that you’d never survive an encounter with Jungkook after using such a term on him, the result is much different from what you had anticipated. He visibly melts into your arms, cock slipping past your folds easily. “No,” he says, his voice feathery and whiny against your ear. “I can’t.”

You soothe a hand down his back, eyes fluttering shut as he begins slowly rutting against your swollen lips. “That’s it,” you encourage, tugging softly at his wavy hair. Jungkook moans wantonly against your neck, rolling his hips harshly against you until his arms are the only things keeping you from jostling out of his hold. “Do you like this pussy?” you ask, purposefully clenching around him, tummy tightening at the stimulation you keep packing on.

Jungkook shudders, pace growing slipping inside of you. “Yes,” he pants, “s-so wet… creamy.”

“Yeah?” you huff, pressing a smiley kiss against his forehead. “It’s yours.”

“Ffffuck,” Jungkook chokes, picking up his pace as his well-deserved orgasm reaches its peak. He’s breathing harshly now, and it’s taking everything in you to keep your pussy tight around him. But after the night he’d given you, the sounds and faces he pulled from you, it’s the least you can do. Besides, your body, after being so thoroughly pleased, still rears up for one final orgasm with him. “Mine,” he growls, bucking his hips into you. “You’re mine, baby, mine,” he seethes, ending his little tryst with a piston of his hips that makes you gasp, body almost unconsciously spasming around him. It’s painful, but so, so delicious how he manages to pull this last orgasm from you as he finally busts inside of you.

He comes with a stuttering garble of words, none of which you catch as he collapses into your hold for the final time that night. “Fuck,” he pants afterwards, leaning into your touch when he finally registers the soft combing of fingers through his hair. “That was evil.”

You laugh, pulling him closer. “As evil as you making me suffer through three orgasms before putting your dick in me?” you tease. Jungkook slips out of you, and you know it’ll be a hassle to clean your sheets tomorrow but it’s worth it.

“It’s called building the scene,” he weakly defends, blindly tugging the puffy blanket over the two of you. “I was gonna rhyme it with that horrible website you made me use but I already forgot it’s name.”

“Rude,” you snap, “it’s called KissAnime.”

“And fore-play,” he suddenly says, and you almost yank his eyeballs out of their sockets for doing that stupid thing again.

—

epilogue

Two weeks later, your favorite website and home to hentai ads is shut down after years of piracy. Jungkook laughs at your demise, sits and actually cackles at your heartbreak, until he eventually comforts you with his flaming demon cock and a subscription to both Crunchyroll and Funimation. Doyeon spends weeks tracking down a missing package, apparently some freebie she’d gotten for being such an avid customer on Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! before eventually finding it in your drawer. And because her and Jungkook have some awkward life-long rivalry for your attention, he doesn’t pay for that.

—

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