#Hes probably also autistic and definitely got hdhd but my emotional intelligence and awareness of others is the biggest thing dividing us
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Mom, who have no idea how I am on a daily basis: please go out and shovel snow off your porch!
Me, who have been avoiding going outside and people at any time the last year: (:
#miranda talking shit#Not just pandemic situations but like... Going on walks and buying food and stuff#Ive only left my house to go to the hospital and to buy food a handful of times its concerning lmao#Mom thinks ive been going outside on walks like i do during summer at home ... No mama im isolating myself and feeling like trash thats all#Im meant to come along to grocery shop with my home help but ive been sending them out alone 9/10 times since this autumn#Only time i somewhat feel motivated to go is if oliver is going but he have only had my shopping twice in the year I've had them#At least i.... Am awake at the time ? Like i could just go back to sleep and let them go but i take my meds and try to get up#I miss seeing friends.... One of my two friends from my city moved away for study this autumn so i am like well dang#Explaining all this to anyone who havent experienced severe depression is also basically impossible lol#Its eady to just say 'but just do it (:' when you genuinely have to use so much mental energy to even eat... Keep up ones hygiene ... Do#Basic chores... Its deppressing how much willpower i use to just do the minimum and it still looks like im just bein lazy#I wish i had my mental capacity as my brother so i could just play video games 12 hours per day and basically be happy with that#I love video games but i feel guilty playing them because its not productive so instead i just lay in bed and zone out#My brother is the biggest stain and liability to society and everything one shouldnt be but he actually can do it without feeling guilt#Hes probably also autistic and definitely got hdhd but my emotional intelligence and awareness of others is the biggest thing dividing us#And anxiety i guess is a problem for me and not him. Then you know he basically mentally abused me growing up because he took out all anger#On me who was 6 yrs younger than him so now im here and hes ... There#Its almost funny how the most 'failed' child of us siblings is probably the most content with their life and less likely to off themselves#My sister got a family but im fairly sure shes somewhat unhappy with being a mother. She never wanted that life#And my oldest brother is... Well i guess hes me in man form to some extent. Hes definitely deppressed and havent finished high school etc#But he's still ... Trying ? Doing work and stuff and last couple of years hes very into gardening...#And then theres me ... I guess that im the only one getting 'the help' i deserve bc i have personally basically wanted to get diagnosed (':#All us siblings are just fucked one way or another ... Wish i didnt get the deppression etc part. Mental illness really runs wild in my fam#I love my mom but damn... She really came from an deppressed/bipolar dad and schizophrenic/autistic mom ... And then mom got kids with an#Shit who probably got add and something else but of course with a ton of unresolved family trauma which he then put his own kids through#All families have their issues ... But i dont really have one in anything but name and its filled with mentally ill people who can't adjust#To this society. Some people should not have biological kids... My family is part of thay group...#Negative
19 notes
·
View notes