#i miss berlin right now

[ist-das-kunst-oder-kann-das-weg]

[faaun]

ok let's catch up quickly

[pablitogavii]

Stormy nights sin papà

Pablo was on his way back from Berlin and you were at home with your son Matteo who because of school couldn’t travel with his papà this time.

You were very strict when it came to his education and even if he got angry at you from time to time, you knew it was your job as a parent.

“Hola amor, donde está mi chaval?” Pablo as on the phone with you the moment he landed and Matteo moved closer so his face was on the phone.

“Hola chaval, do you miss papá?” Pablo asked and Matteo just nodded shyly seeing his friends around saying hello as well.

“Did you protect mamá for papi like you promised huh?” He said and now you got shy as well when the little boy hugged you and nodded.

“ When should we expect you home amor?” You ask

“We just need to go to the camp for pictures and I’ll be on my way home, preciosa..unless you need me sooner?” He said and you shook your head telling him to finish all his responsibilities.

“Bueno. Te amo!” Pablo waved

“Tell papi te amo Mat..” you waved too and Matteo babbled shyly

“Te amo papi” he whispered before you hung up the phone finishing the dinner and helping Matteo with the rest of his homework.

As it got late and you finished all his schoolwork, it was time to get ready for bed. Pablo texted that he will be home soon but you wanted Matteo to go to bed on time since he has a quiz in the morning.

“Mamá..I can’t sleep” he said walking into your master room and you helped him climb into your bed.

“Que pasa chaval? No te gusta thunderstorms huh? Mi también..” you admit that being one big fear Pablo helped you with always.

“Donde está papá?” He asked the same questions I had..where was Pablo now!?

Another loud thunder made both me and the little boy hug fearfully. You reached for your phone calling Pablo who quickly answered.

“Hola mi amor. Traffic is crazy with the storm, I’m almost home. Como estas preciosa I know you hate storms” he said on video call and you showed him Matteo glued to your side.

“We are both scared of storms..si chaval?” You say

“Si, mamá and I want you here papi” he added making you blush and Pablo smile wide. He loved feeling needed like this.

“Aii mis amores you want papi to tell you the story he always tell mamá when she is scared while I’m driving home huh?” He said seeing your blushing face as you both nodded. The boy might be a mini version of Gavi but his eyes were scared just lie yours right now.

Pablo spoke softly and every time there was a loud thunder he would tell you how much he loves both of you..and you would say it back forgetting about loud sounds. Until he was finally home..

“Someone said they needed papi?” He walked in still holding his phone and both of you rushed to hug him. He held you with one hand and Matteo in other kissing you all over your cute faces.

“Welcome home Pablito, congrats on the victory” you say and he kissed your lips. Taking off his jacket and back pack.

“Thank you mi amor..it was hard being away from the two of your for two night..I miss my little family.” He said and you smile seeing how excited Matteo was that his papi is finally home.

“Then how about we all sleep together tonight, sounds good Mat?” You say and the boy was overjoyed kissing your cheek

“And to give papi besitos chaval?” He said jealous and Matteo jumped in his arms kissing his cheek while Pablo smiled looking towards you with heart eyes.

Another thunder made you jump.

“Let’s protect mamá chaval!” Pablos aid as they both joined you in bed and Pablo pulled you against his strong chest with you little boy between you two.

“Te amo muchísimo “ you say and he leaned down to kiss your lips while Matteo was peacefully asleep on his chest.

“Yo te amo mi reina..and our little chaval. You are both so cute for being scared of thunderstorms” Pablo said and you smiled.

“Hmm papi is always there to protect us” you say with a smile and Pablo nods proudly kissing the top of Matteo’s head and your lips.

“Siempre.” He said as you both cuddled up close to your son and fell asleep happy together.

[damiansgoodgirll]

hi, I wanted to ask you since it’s my birthday coming up could you please make a short with reader that never celebrate her birthday? And so Damian put a surprise party together for her and she gets emotional thank you so much if you do that❤️❤️❤️

damian priest x reader

taking this time to wish you happy birthday and taking this opportunity to say that today is my birthday too!🩷

‼️soft damian, mention of past family issues, i love damian with all of my heart ‼️

special gift

you weren’t expecting no parties or surprises, knowing that you never celebrated your birthday, you were used to stay at home and buy yourself a small cupcake with blowing a candle just to make a wish.

so when your boyfriend damian asked what you wanted to do for your birthday, you didn’t know what to say. he offered you cinema, shopping spree, dinner date out. whatever you wanted but you couldn’t find a proper answer “i don’t know…” you told him truthfully because you really didn’t know what to do and you definitely didn’t expect him to remember it was your birthday.

“what you mean mariposa?” he was kinda confused. he always celebrated his birthday, his siblings too. he didn’t grow up rich so he never had big parties until he made his own money but his family never missed to celebrate his birthday.

your family on other hand, never really cared, saying that birthday parties were a waste of time and money. you never got presents or cakes so when he asked you what gift you wanted you were speechless, again, for the second time.

“damian really, it’s fine…we could stay here and watch a movie, it’s fine for me” you smiled, a little sad because in all of these years you’ve never got to experience a birthday party but at the same time grateful because damian thought of you.

“are you sure?” he asked, not understanding why you didn’t want to celebrate “what about we go out just me and you? we go to that nice italian restaurant you like? we don’t have to go somewhere else, we can just have a nice dinner together and then celebrate at home…” he suggested. you lied if you said that you didn’t like the idea, you just didn’t want to be a bother for him, especially since your family made you always feel like it.

“you sure? i don’t wanna take too much time from you, especially since bash in berlin is coming up soon…” you were afraid, he could tell, he just couldn’t understand why because you never spoke to him about your personal life. he knew it was an unpleasant conversation for you so he always tried to avoid it because he knew it would make you uncomfortable.

“trust me…it’s going to be fine…plus it’s gonna be just me and you” you knew you couldn’t say no when he begged so nicely. so you agreed, of course.

a couple of hours later you were dressed in a pretty black dress, matching damian’s outfit as he was wearing all black too.

“you look so good amor…i can’t believe you’re all mine” he smiled against your lips, making you chuckle.

“you don’t look bad either señor priest” you whispered leaving soft pecks on his lips.

“we better get going or it will take two seconds for me to remove this pretty dress you are wearing and take you back upstairs” he said, his lips never leaving yours.

“i really hope you can do that after dinner cause i’m starving right now” you teased, making him chuckle.

“i’ll see what i can do mariposa” he gave you one last kiss before taking you out to the car and opening the door for you.

during the whole car drive his hand was on your thigh, making you shiver from time to time.

once at the restaurant you both took your time reading the menu and asking the waiter for more information about the dishes. it was the first time that someone did something nice for your birthday and you wanted to enjoy it. so you took your time eating, talking about the silliest things with him, laughing and chatting. when the delicious piece of cake you both ordered arrived, you saw damian taking out a little box from his pocket. it was tiffany blue box, and before you could say anything damian gave it to you “this is a little present from me…” and now you were completely speechless.

“damian…the dinner is enough, you didn’t have to get me anything…”

“i wanted to” he couldn’t explain how much he loved you “you’re the most important person in my life, i don’t know what i’ll do without you, meeting you eight months ago was the best thing that happened to me in years…i can’t explain it but you brought a light into my life that i thought it was lost” he was getting emotional, you were too.

so you kindly accepted his gift and your heart missed a beat when you saw a beautiful diamond heart shaped necklace inside of the small velvet box “damian…” you were at loss of words “it’s so beautiful”

“it reminded me of you” a tear fell from his eye but he was quick to wiped it away.

“i love it…do you mind?” you asked him, signing that you wanted to wear it immediately. he stood up and he gently placed the necklace around your neck “i love it damian…thank you so much”

“i’m glad you like it” he was genuine.

“thank you for all of this…this is the first time someone does something nice for my birthday” you confessed, you weren’t used to talk about your past and damian never pressure you to talk about it so he was grateful that you were opening up to him “my family never celebrated my birthday…or theirs, they always said that birthdays are a waste of money, so i grew up watching my friends getting spoiled on their special day and lying to them when they asked about my special day…i’ve always said that my parents were the best at making birthday parties, that they always took me out of town when in reality i spent all of my birthdays crying in bed…your necklace is the first birthday present i’ve ever received” he couldn’t believe your words. how can some parents be so mean to their kids? he never had big parties but his parents never missed one of his birthday, even now that he was older, his mom and dad would always come to his parties.

“i’m so sorry love…no kids should be ever treated like that, i know parties can be expensive…you know, my mom used to bake every birthday cake for me and my siblings since we got eighteen, and somehow she still does it, like a personal gift for us” he smiled remembering the old times. your heart ached for that. you couldn’t imagine growing up like that but you were glad someone was able to live their special day at its best “but i promise you y/n that from this day on you’ll never feel like that ever again, we’ll celebrate every single birthday from today and on, you’re safe with me” he said promising it to you.

“okay…” you smiled, thanking him for the amazing night he just spent with you.

“oh but the night it’s not over yet…if i remember i made a promise before leaving the house” he smirked, watching you blush under his gaze. he asked for the bill and left a generous tip for the waiter who assisted you.

you both ended up making out in his car “even if having you naked in the backseat sounds tempting to me, tonight is all about you love, let me take care of you…let’s go home” he whispered against your lips, leaving one last kiss over your cheek before driving back home.

you couldn’t explain how much you loved damian either, it was like you were made for each other and you were both aware of that.

[alizayildiz]

Announcement: I don’t know who sent me a request bc it was anonymous but girl if you see this I misse posting too. But my exams are over and I’m back on posting regularly. I have to write a few requests on Wattpad and I’ll upload them on tumblr too!

This one is especially made for you!

Summary: Kenan’s thinks you can’t come to watch his important football game due to both of y’all’s schedules. However you manage to surprise him.

„Miss Yildiz, what a beautiful surprise that you showed up" Coach Montella spoke as he pulled me into a hug.

I don't know since when but it's gotten into a habit that everyone calls me by Kenan's last name. Not that I mind it, I quite enjoy it and to be honest Kenan does too.

Yildiz.

"Well, I try my best to support you guys" I speak as Coach Montella and I walk towards the VIP Lounge of the Allianz Stadium in Berlin.

After the Turkish National Team won 3:1 against Georgia they now play against Czechia. Normally they would play against Portugal but something came up with them and now it's Turkey vs. Czechia.

And normally I would be in New York City right now having a photos shoot for Victoria's Secret. A massive brand with a good name.

But I decided to reschedule the photo shoot. It costed me many nerves and phone calls to reschedule it but in the end I managed to do so.

I wanted to support Kenan through this entire European championship and that didn't work from the beginning on.

Because I missed the opening match against Georgia, he even scored a goal. So now I try my best to make up for it.

Kenan has always been my biggest supporter at everything you do in life. So it's only fair that I'm his biggest supporter too.

As Coach Montella talks me through the details of  today's match I can't get my mind of the fact that Kenan's ex girlfriend Karlotta will be here too.

I absolutely despise that girl not only for what she has done to Kenan but also for that she has done to me.

„So five minutes before the game ends security will walke up with you to the pitch, is that alright ?" Montella speaks looking at me for an answer.

„Absolutely, yes, thank you" I speak smiling at Kenan's coach before the man leaves.

As I walk around the VIP lounge I make myself comfortable, one hour until the game stars and two hours till the game ends.

My outfit was simple but yet elegant, knowing that Kenan prefers if I walk around more elegantly than slutty.

After plugging my phone into the charger I open my Spotify playlist, good thing that these VIP boxes are sound proof.

Not so sound proof when Kenan fucks me in here though...

Opening the refrigerator I pull out a redbull and wash myself some fruits like strawberries and cranberries.

After placing them nicely on a plate I walk to the couch and let myself fall on it.

Gosh, sitting feels good.

I grab my iPad from my handbag and start to work online.

~

As planned I got done with everything I had on my to do list for today.

As I stood up I looked down at the pitch, the Turkish National team singing their national anthem.

Kenan was the tallest player in the team, he was also starting in the first eleven lineup. After finishing singing they positioned them for team pictures.

In the first one Kenan had the post serious face ever, probably because he thinks I'm in New York and not here at his game.

The second picture turned out more motivated, still his smile dropped instantly as the cameras got away from his face.

The Czech people took their time with their national anthem as well as with taking pictures.

While Kenan positioned himself on the pitch the Czech players waved as fans.

Kenan made a quick prayer and so did Arda and Hakan.

All three of them praying for good luck on the match.

During their prayers the commentators of the match called up the line up from both teams. First Czechia then Turkey.

I looked at the big screen and let a a high pitched yell as I saw Kenan's name on it. The stadium loosing it too as soon as they saw him.

Kenan looked up to the VIP box where I was sitting every few minutes, before and during the match.

It's like he knows I'm here. I know that he possibly can't even see me from down there but my gut feeling tells me he does.

Kenan has this gift to spot me whenever I am, he just feels my presence.

As the referee whistled the first half of the game started. Clearly Turkey had more dominance.

In minute 25 Bariș Alper Yilmaz scored.

Two minutes later Kenan scored.

The stadium went loud fans jumped up and down yelling his name. Kenan held up both his hand and then placed on his heart. Dedicating his goal to the Turkish fans.

Clapping both of my hands together I smile down at the football field.

With that Kenan breaks Cristiano Ronaldo his record. What a great success he achieved for his career.

I pull out my phone making photos of the remarkable moment.

Then seven minutes after Kenan scored Arda scores.

3:0 it stands.

Turkish fans are going wild while Czech fans are watching their team loose.

Coach Montella jumps up exited and kisses each of the three guys on their heads, hugging each of them.

Fifteen more minutes pass and then the first half ends. 3:0 for Turkey.

~

"Miss Yildiz, it's time to head to the field" the security guard spoke as he pulled me out of my thoughts.

I sept half break arguing with Karlotta and how she should just leave me and Kenan alone because she and he are in the PAST.

But what if they aren't, and he just lies to me ?

I gather myself following the security guard.

4:0 for Turkey, Hakan scored a goal in the second half which is about to end in exactly five minutes.

As we passed trough different VIP boxes and different hallways I finally was on the pitch.

Behind the barrier but close enough.

And like always it didn't even took Kenan more than thirty seconds to spot me.

He was on the other end of the field and immediately came up running towards me.

The referee had whistled a minute ago so the match was over.

As the cameras focussed on Kenan running towards you fans and commentators applauded at the two of you.

Kenan was not wearing his jersey anymore he pulled it off himself as a form of celebration, so did the rest of the Turkish national team.

Jumping over the barrier he pulled you into his arms giving you thousands of kisses on your forehead.

"Kenan" I chuckled between laughs.

"Did you watch the whole match ?" He asks out of breath.

"Yes Baby, and I'm beyond proud of you" with that Kenan pulls you into a kiss.

I didn't care if he tastes like sweat or even smells like it I just wanted to feels his lips against mine.

The fans going crazy loud even congratulating Kenan on pulling such a beautiful girl like you.

Kenan he let go of you.

"I love you, that's the best surprise you could ever do for me" not even letting me time to respond he crashed his lips on mine again, depending the kiss.

One of his hands had a firm grip on my jaw while his other hand travelled down to my lower back.

Totally worth rescheduling my photoshoot.

Fans were busy taking photos of the two of you and so were you and Kenan.

He's the biggest golden retriever boyfriend ever so he absolutely adores posing for pictures with you.

As he gave you a kiss on your forehead you closed your eyes enjoying the moment.

What a luck that your camera went off in that exact minute. The most wholesome picture ever of the two of you just got made by your phone.

A jealous Karlotta standing in the crowd, eyeing the two of you.

[chheolie]

ready get set go get it go ♪ (part 1) part 2 here

the members were scattered around the dance studio, lounging on the sofas, warming up with relaxed steps, or exchanging jokes. the rehearsal for lollapalooza berlin was about to begin, but the atmosphere was light, filled with the low sound of music playing in the background and the laughter that echoed as mingyu teased seungkwan about a move he kept messing up.

suddenly, the door burst open, and seokmin entered the studio with an explosive energy that made everyone look up at once. he had his phone in one hand, his breath quickened, and his eyes shining like never before. a huge smile dominated his face, and he could barely contain his excitement, practically bouncing with joy.

seungcheol furrowed his brow, both concerned and curious. "what's going on? did you win the lottery, seokmin?"

seokmin shook his head frantically, his breath still heavy, and clutched the phone to his chest as if it were the greatest treasure in the world. "you won't believe it... you... you know who just sent me a message?"

the other members exchanged confused looks, but curiosity was growing. "who, man?" vernon asked, watching closely as minghao approached, intrigued.

seokmin dropped to his knees on the floor, the sparkle in his eyes almost radiating. "y/n! y/n herself!" he repeated your name with a mix of disbelief and pure joy, as if he needed to confirm that it was really happening.

the members' eyes widened in visible surprise. jeonghan, who was closest, widened his eyes and let out a low whistle. "are you serious? y/n, the singer you talk about all day long? her?"

"yes!" seokmin nearly shouted, laughing in shock as he struggled to contain his excitement. "she reached out because she wants me to perform with her! at lollapalooza! she wants me to sing with her!" he threw himself back on the floor dramatically.

"this is amazing, seokmin!" wonwoo shouted, smiling genuinely. "man, you're going to sing with y/n! this is huge!"

seokmin nodded, still in disbelief, and sat down on the floor. "i can't believe she knows who i am! that she wants me to be there with her! she even mentioned she likes our songs!" he waved his phone as proof, and the smile on his face was the widest anyone had ever seen. "you have no idea how much this means to me... it's y/n, guys!"

the excitement was palpable, and the members didn't miss the chance to tease their friend. "i told you all that fanboying was going to pay off," seungkwan teased, pushing seokmin's shoulder with a broad grin. "it's going to be incredible, hyung! you're going to kill it, and she's going to love singing with you!"

seokmin laughed, his heart still racing, and took a deep breath, trying to process the surreal moment. "i still can't believe it..."

"and if you get nervous up there, just remember that you're dk, seventeen's vocalist, and now also y/n's partner," jeonghan said with an encouraging smile, patting his back. "she couldn't have picked a better person."

seungcheol, with a big smile on his face, asked, "so, what did you say to her? you accepted, right?"

seokmin hesitated, biting his lower lip. he looked around, taking in the friends who had always been with him during the most important moments of his career. "actually... i haven't replied yet." the studio fell momentarily silent, and seokmin laughed nervously, scratching the back of his neck. "i wanted to check with you guys first. like... i don't know, if you think it's okay for me to accept, if it won't mess anything up. you guys always help me with the big decisions, so i didn't want to do this without hearing what you think."

the other members looked at him for a second, and then seungkwan shook his head with an amused smile. "are you serious, seokmin? we're talking about y/n asking you to perform at lollapalooza! of course, it's okay! go and show her why you're the best vocalist around."

minghao patted seokmin's back. "this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. we'll be here supporting you all the way, so don't even think twice. just say yes!"

jeonghan nodded with a gentle smile. "this is going to be amazing for you and for us too, seeing you accomplish something so big. don't worry, we're all proud of you."

seokmin's eyes filled with emotion, and he nodded, deeply grateful. "you guys are the best. really, thanks for this." with an excited sigh and his heart pounding, he unlocked his phone, opening y/n's message. he typed with slightly trembling fingers, trying to contain his excitement as each word was carefully chosen.

seokmin: hi, y/n! this is dokyeom. seokmin: i’m so happy about your invitation! seokmin: first, i need to say that i’m a huge fan of your work, and getting this message from you is surreal for me. seokmin: i’d love to be part of your performance at lollapalooza and share this special moment with you. count on me to make something amazing on stage!

he took a deep breath before hitting the send button, and the members gathered around, curious and excited. when he finally hit send, everyone jumped on him in celebration. laughter and cheers filled the room, everyone thrilled that seokmin was fulfilling a fan’s dream. it didn’t take long for the phone to vibrate, and seokmin’s eyes widened as he started shouting, "she replied, she replied!"

you: hi, seokmin! i’m so glad you agreed! you: i love your talent, and i’m sure that together we’ll create an unforgettable performance! you: let’s schedule our first rehearsal tomorrow afternoon at the studio, at 3 pm, if that works for you. you: i can’t wait to get started! see you then! 😊

seokmin read the message with a smile that seemed to light up the studio. "she scheduled the first rehearsal for tomorrow! at 3 pm! she said it’s going to be unforgettable!"

the members burst into more celebrations, showering seokmin with hugs and words of encouragement. the group’s rehearsal was important, but at that moment, everyone knew that seokmin’s next step would be something extraordinary. he was about to live one of the biggest dreams of his career, and the thought of sharing the stage with you made his heart race like never before.

the day of the first rehearsal arrived faster than seokmin had imagined. anxious and determined to make a good impression, he arrived at the studio early, well before the scheduled time. his hands were slightly sweaty, and his heart was racing, but he felt ready to face that surreal moment. he sat on one of the benches in the hallway outside the recording studio, trying to calm his nerves while repeatedly checking the clock.

the anticipation grew with each passing minute, and he could hardly believe he was there, about to rehearse with you, the artist he admired so much. he took a deep breath, listening to calm music through his headphones, trying to relax, but his thoughts were running wild, imagining how your first interaction would be. so he rehearsed mentally what to say and how to act.

a few minutes later, you appeared in the hallway, carrying two takeaway coffee cups and a warm smile that lit up the space. seokmin quickly stood up, almost tripping over his own feet but managing to compose himself just in time.

“hi, dokyeom!” you greeted him with a friendly smile, extending one of the cups toward him. “i hope you like coffee. i brought one for you.”

he blinked, surprised and touched by the simple but thoughtful gesture. “oh, yes, i love it! thank you!” he carefully took the cup as if it were a precious gift. he was truly moved that you had thought of him on your way. his heart raced even faster, but he managed to maintain his composure, internally grateful that he hadn’t let his emotions show too much.

as you walked together down the hallway toward the studio, you started chatting casually, lightening the mood. “you know, i love seventeen. the energy you all bring to the stage is incredible, and your voice always impresses me. it’s powerful and full of emotion at the same time.”

seokmin felt his face heat up, trying to hide the blush that was surely appearing. “really? thank you! that means a lot, coming from you. i... i’ve always admired your work. your songs have a unique sensitivity, and being able to sing with you is just amazing.”

you smiled, appreciating the sincere compliment. when you reached the studio door, you paused before opening it, turning to him with a gentle look. “this studio is one of my favorite places to rehearse. i like to keep it quiet; i know you’re used to having a lot of people at rehearsals, but i hope you don’t mind it being just the two of us today.”

seokmin almost laughed in relief and surprise. “mind? not at all! actually, this is perfect. i was a bit nervous, but now... it feels like i’m exactly where i’m supposed to be.”

you opened the studio door, revealing a cozy space with soft lighting and a decor that exuded creativity and comfort. the environment was comforting, with instruments neatly arranged and some personal touches that showed how much that place meant to you. and he walked in, observing everything with great care.

“i’m glad you feel that way,” you said as you both entered the studio. “i’m really excited to create something with you."

seokmin smiled, finally allowing himself to relax. the warm atmosphere and your calm presence made him feel that he was about to experience something truly special. and he was ready to give his best, for you, for himself, and for the fans who were about to witness something unforgettable.

after you entered the studio, the first thing you did was take off your jacket, revealing a comfortable t-shirt that perfectly matched the relaxed vibe of the studio. you casually hung it on the chair next to you, showing a familiarity and ease that left seokmin impressed. there was something about the way you moved, confident and natural, that made him feel more at ease too.

you turned to him with a warm smile, crossing your arms in a relaxed manner. "there’s a specific song i’d really love to sing with you at the festival," you began, and seokmin felt his heart leap. "ever since i first heard it, i’ve been completely hooked on it. it’s from the soundtrack of twenty-five, twenty-one..." you laughed shyly as you revealed your current favorite song.

seokmin stood still for a moment, his eyes wide with surprise. he couldn’t believe what he had just heard. "you... you know i’m the one who sings 'go!'?" he asked, still a bit stunned.

you giggled, nodding affirmatively. "of course i know! your voice is unmistakable. from the first time i heard it, i couldn’t stop listening. the energy, the emotion... it’s incredible. and i think it would be perfect for us to sing together."

seokmin felt a wave of pride and happiness wash over him. not only did you, the artist he admired so much, know the song, but you wanted to sing it with him. he could barely contain the smile spreading across his face. "i... of course, i’m in! it would be an honor to sing 'go!' with you. actually, it’s one of my favorite songs to sing."

your eyes sparkled with enthusiasm. "great! it’s going to be amazing. i was hoping you’d say that." you approached the soundboard and began preparing the space for rehearsal. "shall we start then? i want to see how our voices blend in this song."

seokmin felt his heart race even faster with your excitement. he had been nervous before, but now it was a different kind of nervousness—one that came from anticipation and the joy of being about to create something really special. he knew this rehearsal would be unforgettable, not just for what it meant to him, but for the connection he already felt beginning to form between you through the music.

as you prepared everything, seokmin approached the microphone, adjusting it to his height. he still couldn’t believe his luck at being there, sharing the studio with you. when you finally positioned yourself next to him, ready to start, he took a deep breath, feeling the energy in the air. he took a deep breath. "let’s do this," he said, with a smile that mixed emotion and determination.

and when the first notes of 'go!' began to play, seokmin knew that this would be one of the most memorable moments of his career.

during the rehearsal, without realizing it, seokmin had a natural talent for making you laugh. every time he spoke, he made you smile in a genuine and carefree way. whether it was a spontaneous joke or a funny gesture, he was always creating a light and fun atmosphere, unaware of the impact he had.

you were enchanted. the connection you felt with seokmin during the rehearsal was something that transcended the music. you were so involved that laughter came easily, and the small interactions between you were creating a natural harmony. seokmin, in turn, was amazed that he was actually making someone as talented and admired as you laugh that way.

when the rehearsal finally ended, you looked at seokmin with a sincere smile, satisfaction written all over your face. “i want you to know that it was a huge pleasure meeting you in person. you have such a light and happy energy; it’s contagious. i really hope our contact doesn’t end after the festival performance. i’d love to build a friendship with you.”

seokmin was visibly moved, his eyes shining with gratitude. “i also really enjoyed meeting you, y/n. it was an amazing experience, and i really hope we can keep in touch. this rehearsal was one of the best experiences of my career.”

you said goodbye with a shy hug, laughing just as shyly, and seokmin left the studio with a sense of fulfillment and joy. the way home felt lighter and brighter, and he couldn’t wait to share what happened with the members.

when he got home, seokmin immediately grabbed his phone and sent a message to the members.

with a smile on his face and his heart still racing from the wonderful day, he typed:

seokmin: guys, you won’t believe how amazing today’s rehearsal was! seokmin: i met y/n, and she’s even more wonderful than i imagined. and even more beautiful!!!! seokmin: we rehearsed "go!" together, and it was an experience i’ll never forget. CAN YOU BELIEVE SHE LOVES THIS SONG? seokmin: she’s super fun, and her energy is simply contagious. we got along so well, and she even said she hopes we keep in touch after the festival. seokmin: i don’t think i’ll be able to sleep tonight.

[blythsholland]

No More Secrets!

Pairing: Tom Blyth x Actress!reader

Warnings: None.

Summary: You join the cast of TBOSAS, sparks fly between you and Tom, and fans are quick to notice some things.

AN: For the sake of this social media au, let’s pretend spiderman: no way home was being filmed as well!

part 2

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

thehungergames posted a photo

liked by youruser, variety, tomblyth, zendaya and others.

thehungergames Rising Star @ youruser has joined the cast for the upcoming Hunger Games prequel: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, lead by Tom Blyth and Rachel Zegler. Character details still unknown. (📸 Getty)

View all 2,345K comments

youruser I’m so happy and excited to join such wonderful cast! 🤍🤍🤍

tomblyth Welcome to the hunger games! 🐍🕊️

↪️ youruser Can’t wait to work with you! 🫶🏻

↪️ user The hands heart emoji… oh I ship it already!

rachelzegler Fans aren’t ready! 👀

userfan If I have to guess, I’d say she’s playing someone from the academy. Maybe even have a relationship with Coryo.

comment liked by youruser

↪️ youruser You just have to wait and see!🤫

user1 AHHHH IM SO HAPPY. I just know she’s going to be amazing in this!

youruser posted a photo

Liked by tomblyth, tomholland2013, jacobbatalon, zendaya and others.

youruser That’s a wrap on No Way Home! 🎬 Grateful for this amazing opportunity! Catch me in the FoS crew!!! Iykyk 🕸️🕷️

View all 2,123k comments

zendaya I’m going to miss youuuu 🥺

↪️ youruser I’m gonna miss you too :(

jacobbatalon FoS crew let’s goooooo!! 🤙🏽

tomholland2013 now why would you post that pic of me giving the finger 😂

↪️ youruser your beautiful girlfriend told me to post and I follow orders!

↪️ zendaya you bet I did! sorry love @ tomholland2013 😂🩷

userfan1 FoS?!?!? What does that mean???

user @ userfan1 It means friends of spiderman. If you saw FFH they mention this towards the end!

blythloverrrr This is like the 4th consecutive post Tom has liked of youruser 👀

↪️ youruserfans1 right 👀 apparently he also liked one or two edits of her not too long ago.

↪️ blythloverrrr that’s interesting ✍🏼

youruserupdates_

liked by user1, blythloverrrr, userfan22, and others.

youruserupdates_ @ youruser posted on her story this morning on her way to Berlin . And surprise, a fan spotted Tom Blyth picking her up at the airport. The two of them shared a hug that looked very cozy. 👀

View all 125 comments

blythloverrrr that’s a cozy hug indeed. ✍🏼

userfan2 relax guys, they’re just friends!

user1 @ userfan2 who’s saying they aren’t?

youruserfans okay but can we acknowledge the fact that he went to pick her up? that’s so sweet!

user23 I ship them idc!!!

user3 him liking almost all her posts, liking some of her edits and now he’s picking her up??? Something is happening idk. 🫢

blythfan can a guy and girl be just friends? let them be!

youruser posted a photo

liked by tomblyth, tomholland2013, zendaya, rachelzegler and others.

tagged: tomholland2013, zendaya, rachelzegler, tomblyth

youruser Life lately 🤍

View all 4,589K comments

tomholland2013 gonna tell Sony to make that pic of me the official poster for nwh 😂

↪️ youruser you’re so unserious 😭

hunterschafer I’m going to meet you as soon as I get on set next week!

↪️ youruser YES PLEASE! 🥹

rachelzegler 🩷🩷🩷 that pic tho, tom can’t never be serious.

lionsgate Coriolanus snow, part time model!

user1 that pic of Tom belongs on an art museum!

blythloverrrr okay but the last pic??? Is everyone seeing this??? 👁️

user123 IS THAT TOM ON THE LAST PIC?? THE HAND HOLD??? THE ROSE???

user Yeah they’re definitely dating, I have no proof but I also have no doubts 👀

tomblyth 🤍🤍🤍

comment liked by youruser

↪️ youruser 🥰

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

part 2? 👀

If you want to be tagged let me know!!

[obessedwithfictionalmen]

Princess and the fool

John Egan X Pilot! Reader

Summary: Y/n and Bucky's time in the camp...

Warning: Swearing/ historical inaccuracies/ sexism/ mention of rape (but not the actual thing)/ mention of getting shot/

Word count: 2.07k

The siren went off 5 minutes ago, they were all talking about where the Americans were attacking. ‘’Berlin? It sounds like Berlin’’ Y/n suggested. The guys agreed as the sound of explosion was the only thing they were hearing. ‘’Ah, good fucking Monday Adolf’’ Bucky chuckled. ‘’You think the 100th is with them?’’ Crank asked. ‘’They gotta be’’ Bucky replied. ‘’First daylight raid on Germany’s most precious town, it must me a rough one’’ Buck said. As the guys and Y/n were chuckling, screams echoed, before they knew it, the sounds of 3-gun shots came to the men’s ears. ‘’That’s a lot closer’’ Crank stated. The sound of someone shouting for help made Y/n flinch. ‘’The hell was that?’’ Bucky asked as he got up from his chair.

Buck, Bucky and Y/n ran outside with other POW, 3 guys came from behind the bungalow, holding a very injured Harry. ‘’Shit, Harry’s shot! What the hell happened?’’ Buck exclaimed. Y/n helped the guys holding Harry and quickly looked at his injury. ‘’They shot him for no reason!’’ one of them exclaimed. German soldiers walked up to see what the commotion was about, they came from behind the building, which meant that they shot him.

Bucky walked up to one of the Kraut soldiers and tried to keep his cool. ‘’Why would you shoot him?’’ he raised his voice. The commotion got the attention of the other POW as they got out of their barracks. ‘’He was out of the blocks’’ one of the Germans justified. ‘’We need a doctor, get Glemnitz!’’ Buck ordered. It was pure chaos as the men were trying to help Harry, German soldiers were yelling at everyone to get back inside, and guard dogs were barking. It went so fast, next thing Y/n knew, one of the guards let loose a dog. ‘’Woah, woah! Get that dog!’’ Bucky yelled.

The dog ran past her and chose its pray, the guy right next to her, she didn’t know him. Bucky pulled her by the shoulder to protect her from the German Shepherd. Y/n had his blood on her leg. ‘’Get that dog off him!’’ one of the guys yelled. She was in shock; it could’ve been her. The dog could’ve chosen her. ‘’Everyone gets back inside, now!’’ the German officer ordered. Egan led Y/n back inside, he became protective of her when they found out what the Germans did to female P.O.W. ‘’They’re going to kill us one at the fucking time, Buck’’ he breathed out as they made their way back inside.

Y/n sat down on a chair, watching the blood on her foot. ‘’Hey, you okay?’’ Buck asked the woman. She slowly looked at them. ‘’It could’ve been me’’ she said, her voice not getting louder than a whisper. ‘’You’re okay, don’t let them break you’’ Crank said. Something shifted in her brain, she was getting out of here alive, whatever it took she was getting out of this god forsaken place. ‘’Fuck those fucking Germans’’ she mumbled. Bucky chuckled lightly as he heard her swearing.

‘’Mail call!’’ the guys were waiting for this. Y/n had no one to write to her, since her W.A.S.P status wasn’t recognized by the military, her mother didn’t even know that she was in the army. The letters were passed, none for Bucky and Y/n, they looked at each other as the guys opened their envelope. ‘’Who’s yours from, Buck?’’ Gale was smelling his letter; it was clearly Marge. ‘’Marge’’ he said, smiling. ‘’Marge’’ Bucky mimicked, making Y/n laugh. She got up from her seat and went beside Bucky. ‘’My dear Buck, I love you, and miss you.’’ She finished her imitation with kissing sound, making the soldiers laugh. She even earned a smile from Buck. Bucky got up and followed her into her joke. ‘’My dear Marge, I love you, Bucky is annoying me, but he’s my best friend, I miss you, bla bla bla, I love you’’ he did the same as Y/n, making kissing sound. Everyone was giggling and looking at the pair acted out the letters. ‘’Alright you too’’ Buck chuckled. Bucky and Y/n looked at each other, laughing before they got back to their seat.

They didn’t know what time it was, but the 3 of them couldn’t sleep. ‘’In my last letter, I popped the question, and she said yes’’ Buck smiled. Y/n smiled back to him; she laid on top of Bucky’s back, since she lost a lot of weight from eating only potatoes, she wasn’t heavy. ‘’That’s good, I’m happy for you, Buck’’ Y/n whispered. ‘’I was thinking that you could be my best-man’’ he said, looking at Bucky. ‘’I will be your best-man, Buck’’ he replied. ‘’Of course, you’ll get an invitation, Y/n’’ Buck smiled. ‘’I will gladly attend your wedding. And I have to meet her, she seems lovely.’’

March, raids were more often, and the prisoners were growing tired of this place. Y/n had just fallen asleep before commotion outside woke everyone up. German soldiers were running outside, near the fence. ‘’What the fuck is going on?’’ she yawned. Bucky was looking outside the window to try and get an answer. ‘’I don’t know, but they’re rushing like crazy.’’

‘’3 tunnels, how the fuck did they do that?’’ Bucky exclaimed as Colonel Clark explained what happened in the night. Brits tried to escape via tunnels that they dug, they didn’t know how much got out, but the Germans didn’t look happy. ‘’They’ve been digging for over a year’’ Clark explains. Y/n looked at Buck, then Bucky, they’ve been talking about an escape plan for a while now. When Clark left the room, they all looked at each other. ‘’When the weather gets better, we’re getting out of here.’’ Bucky stated. ‘’Yeah, in a coffin’’ Y/n scoffed. ‘’The odds are against us; you might want to find a plan that would actually work.’’ Buck explained. ‘’When I do, you’re both coming with me’’ Bucky promised.

By summertime, she was slowly starting to lose her mind, this place was sucking her soul and her spirit. On a happy note, the prisoner got new uniforms, suited for summer. Hers was a grey tank top with forest green pants that were too big for her, she used a shoelace as a belt, the Germans were kind enough to give her a bra, she didn’t know where they get it, and to be honest, she didn’t want to know. She got a leather jacket, for the colder nights, and if she was too cold, the boys were nice enough to let her borrow a shirt with long sleeve. Buck wanted to take a stomp out of the ground to use its wood for fire, Y/n didn’t want to do that all day, so she used her body as a motivation for the soldiers, when the were pulling the stomp, she was sitting on the group, topless, only in her black bra. She wanted to tan, but if she could help to motivate the troops, she was happy to help. Plus, the guys had other thing to worry about than try to rape her. Bucky was the one they were more worried about, he was really going crazy, talking to himself, playing baseball with himself, laughing alone and other things, he was going crazy.

‘’Hey! Any of you want to play some ball?’’ he asked Murph, but he was busy pushing the stomp. ‘’C’mon, I can even let you win!’’ Bucky pleaded. Y/n looked at Bucky, putting her shirt back on as she got up. ‘’Either pitch in or knock it off’’ Murph said, sightly pushing Bucky on the soldier. ‘’Why don’t you shut the hell up?’’ Bucky pushed Murph back. ‘’What the hell is wrong with you?’’ Buck asked as he pushed Bucky on the ground. ‘’You’re going to help or stay out of the way’’ Buck says as Y/n watched Bucky put his hands behind his head, making himself comfortable on the ground. Bucky had a teasing flame burning in his eyes. ‘’You’re the new king of the camp, and I’m just in the way?’’ he teased, putting one of his legs over the other. Y/n got closer to Bucky, who kept taunting Buck about the fact that he just wanted to work. ‘’Bucky, c’mon get up’’ she tried to reason with him, no success. ‘’I’m sorry, come on, get up, you fool'' Buck said, offering his hand. ‘’King Stump, stumpity, stump, get to work’’ Bucky taunted, kicking Buck’s hand with his foot. Then, the guys started to fight on the ground, until Buck punched Bucky in the face. It was like the punch he got helped him to get out of his craziness at the moment. ‘’HEY that’s enough!’’ Colonel Clark yelled. Y/n helped Buck get up. ‘’You’re going to fight me too?’’ she asked Bucky as she offered her hand. He took it, without saying anything and got up.

German officer started to run around, a message in German got broadcasted on the camp’s speaker. Buck looked around. ‘’They landed, didn’t they’’ he stated. Bucky scoffed and looked at his friend. ‘’Y’a think’’ he said, sarcastically. ‘’Quit being a smartass, Bucky. We’re all tired here, yet you don’t hear us yapping about it’’ she said, while exhaling. ‘’Sorry princess’’ he said. She was too tired to argue with him, so she rolled her eyes and got back in her barracks.

Fresh meat was coming in, that’s how Y/n liked to call the new P.O.W coming in the camp, but this time, people were talking more, Red Tails pilot were walking in the camp. Y/n had a lot of respect for them, she got the chance to fly with them once, she could safely say that they were one the best pilots she ever flew with. ‘’They look nice’’ she said, looking at them.

They were all very into their game of card when the door opened. It was 2 Red Tails pilot. ‘’Second Lieutenant Alexender Jefferson, 332nd Fighter Group’’ one of the two introduced himself. ‘’Second Lieutenant Richard D. Macon, 332nd.’’ The other said. Y/n smiled to them; other boys didn’t say anything. ‘’Gentleman, welcome to paradise!’’ she said, sarcastically. There was a little bit of tension in the room, but Y/n looked at Richard, he injured his neck and couldn’t climb up a bunk. ‘’Here, take mine’’ she offered the man, who thanked her with a small nod. The next day, Buck, Bucky and she were seated in the stairs in front of their barracks. ‘’You trust ‘em?’’ Buck asked. ‘’Yeah, I do’’ Y/n said. ‘’Think we should too’’ Bucky added as Y/n nodded. That same night, she watched as Alexender was drawing the girl of his dream, Richard was teasing him. Like every other night, she couldn’t sleep. ‘’Girl of my dream’’ Alexender said, showing his drawing to his friend. She seated on her bed. ‘’Can I see her?’’ she asked him, the two men were surprised that she was talking to them. ‘’What?’’ Alexender asked, a little bit confused. She jumped down from her bunk and seated at the chair in the middle of the room. ‘’Can I see the girl of your dreams?’’ she asked again. He turned his book and showed the woman his drawing. ‘’She’s beautiful, you’re an artist?’’ she asked. He shook his head. ‘’What’s your name?’’ Richard asked her. ‘’Major Y/n Y/l/n, W.A.S.P division. But you can call me Y/n.’’ she smiled to the two men in front of her. ‘’Why are you nice to us, Y/n?’’ Richard whispered. ‘’Because you guys saved my life once, and I think that the Red Tails are the best pilots in the hole U.S army.’’ She looked at Richard in the eyes.

Buck was seated at the table, listening to the radio when some German officer yelled. ‘’Quick hide it’’ Murph said. He hid the radio just in time as the officer entered the room. Y/n looked at the officer before looking at Buck. ‘’Evening, sir’’ she said, getting his attention. ‘’Lights out!’’ he said, turning off the lights as he left the room. ‘’They’re close’’ Buck said. Y/n opened a candle, so that people could see a little bit. ‘’Really close’’ Y/n finished his sentence. ‘’We’re going home’’ Bucky smiled.

[justenjoythegossip]

CHRIS & ABBA’S LATEST PR STUNT & THE VISIBLE ENDGAME OF THE PR STRATEGY or… “WILL YOU JUST GET OVER IT ALREADY? IT HAS BEEN TWO FREAKING YEARS”…

Recap of recent events: 

Yesterday was the premiere of Red One in Berlin. Go Germany. Chris didn’t walk the red carpet before Dwayne as he was supposed to, arrived late with his wife, walked the carpet (after almost missing it) without her, played with the precious very ostentatiously for the cameras, she and Chris shared a moment together as they hugged and she gave him a look of... disgust(?). Then they were filmed sitting together for the movie and Chris seemed angry/pissed(?) at her as he gestures, seemingly does a nervous tick by pressing on his glasses and she rolls her head… #couplegoals LOL

Side note: kudos to the PR agent sitting next to Abba for her clapping as it seemingly helped indicate to her she was supposed to applaud her loving husband and also served as miraculous blocking from this angle, to show us only what they want us to see. 

She was always going to be there…

I have been asked many times if I thought Abba would show up at the premiere. And I always answered that I was 50/50 on the matter. When we learned that it was actually Justin who arranged that podcast for her, I was leaning towards no. Because why would she feel the need to go on a podcast no one asked for, if she was going to get the exposure of a big Hollywood premiere soon, right? Then we got the Avengers’ PR stunt where they endorsed Kamala Harris and Chris was flashing his ringless hand so ostentatiously. And then I immediately thought, of course she will be there. Her saying her marriage year was terrible coupled with his non wearing his wedding ring was meant to manipulate his fans into thinking the end was near and like always to add shock value to their next PR stunt. 

And of course she was going to be there, this is actually a big part of why he did this PR stunt in the first place. He wanted the world to know he was a married man and there is no better platform than a Hollywood event to push a narrative… even when you push it as discreetly as you can so that you don’t offend your fandom and the general public any further…

Why did we get a remake of what happened at the Ghosted premiere and what does this mean?

If people remember the Ghosted Premiere, they did not walk together as they infamously made their red carpet debut for the Vanity Fair party. At the time, I theorized that the reason they didn’t was because they wanted to ease his fans in as they knew there was quite a lot of backlash from his fans but also from the general public. I still think that was the case but it’s even more obvious after today’s stunt, as this was a win-win for Chris. He gets to sell the married man brand he is craving so desperately while putting his kinda wife in a corner.  Go Berlin! She gets to come but has to make sure she is not seen too much as her presence could offend his fans and a part of the general public and more importantly have an impact on his movie’s box office and his career more generally speaking. And look how his “fans” take this as a victory… 

But it’s not, it’s just more manipulation and gaslighting on Chris and his team’s part. 

Because clearly all the content of the 2 of them was not meant for the general public but destined to his fandom. And as you can see they didn’t make it to the Just Jared article this time. But they did get to sell the “we are real and private/we are just PR” narrative. Badly like always because it’s the point. 

https://www.justjared.com/2024/11/03/dwayne-johnson-lucy-liu-chris-evans-more-premiere-new-holiday-movie-red-one-in-berlin/

But now we finally get a clearer sense of why Abba felt the need to go on a podcast no one cared about for the first edition of a small festival that got little to no media coverage! She is basically reduced to a prop that has basically no voice or agency but is taken out for minimal lowkey PR stunts when it’s absolutely necessary. But since she a Nazi sex worker, I am guessing we should all be ok with this. But more on that later. 

The latest appearance of the precious ring and its use from a PR standpoint… 

I have already discussed the ring profusely and even recently when he went to the walk of fame for Kevin Feige. Here are a couple of posts where I give my 2 cents about it.

Before I dive into the latest shenanigans with the precious, it’s important to note that playing with wedding rings is very “in” right now. And so what Chris did last night was textbook CAA. Just look at what Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck recently did with theirs or even more ridiculously how Dakota flashed her engagement ring during an arranged papwalk. 

Here you can see a video of Chris with the very purposefully loose ring:

As people have pointed out, the ring is way too big, isn’t it? And clearly that’s the whole point since it feeds the “it’s only PR” narrative, isn’t it? But that’s not even the most interesting part about this little clip. Look at where the fans are on this video, then pay closer attention to the camera placement. Can you see how much emphasis the person who is filming (not a fan) is putting on the loose ring and how CURATED this all is?

And now look at Chris playing with his ring so naturally and organically (sarcasm) as the photographers are taking his picture. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Chris Evans Army (@cevans_army)

They want you to see it, they are showing it to you, as ostentatiously as it gets. Even when Chris plays the game of “hide the ring”, it is to draw more attention to it while trying to gain sympathy from fans who are so desperate to see a glimmer of regret in his demeanor. 

The programmed obsolescence of Team Real/Team PR and the endgame of the PR strategy 

I have discussed months ago, how this strategy of “divide and conquer” which was symbolized by the discourse and fighting between Team Real and Team PR was just a starting point. A PR strategy can only be understood and appreciated when it can be analyzed in the long run. Those 2 trolling teams were the loud extremist voices that were obnoxious and repulsive enough (in their tone or rhetoric) to drive fans away from them and the narratives they were selling, paving the way for the more reasoned and rational Team Middle. I wrote a post about it if you want to check it out. 

As Team PR and team Real have become completely redundant, all that is left is the narrative Team Middle are pushing. Notice how they purposefully keep blurring the line to disorient (classic manipulation tactics by the way) and make people accept what they are selling. And today they might distract you with the loose ring, the presence of her relatives, the not walking the red carpet together or taking pictures together (but just you wait for the NY premiere as it is just around the corner), their bad body language around each other, the awkwardness and coolness of their exchanges, her cheap outfit while he is dressed in designer clothes by his scientologist and rapist apologist stylist, or they will point out how over the top and fake he was in his reactions at the premiere and I could go on and on… All of this is true BUT it is all a distraction and misdirection. 

As they have pointed out repeatedly, it has been two years, so you should just accept it or move on. The fandom no longer needs your services if you are not capable of enjoying the content they “so kindly�� provide for you. They will feed you the crumbs showing how fake it is to appease you and to distract from Chris’ complicity and manipulation as long as you behave. 

The seemingly counterintuitive promoting of this girl by plants, their vicious trolling and what purposes it serves..

So many plants allegedly hate Abba but talk about her constantly. The amount of attention she is getting from them seems incommensurable. Like posting her numbers religiously or obsessing about what she is wearing and so forth.

If it weren’t for them we would hear very little about her. For example, we would have known she was going to do a podcast in her home country only after she posted about it and not a long time before hand. It's also important to note that most of the time she is mentioned, it is in a very negative way as they usually make fun of her and humiliate her. As you know, “there is no such thing as bad publicity”. But in this instance, it’s interesting to ask ourselves why and also what purposes it serves more specifically.

Well, I have just mentioned that bad publicity is still publicly, but another key rule is: know your audience. And obviously Chris’ fandom dislikes her so intensely that talking about her in a negative way, showing animosity towards her is the smart approach to gain the trust of his fans you want to manipulate. The goal here is to paint her as an absolute villain. I am not defending her by the way as she is an awful person but she has 0 power in this story but she makes for a hell of a scapegoat in this shitshow. And indeed, people can easily project all of their disappointment, anger and negative emotions onto her in order to soothe their frustration. 

You see the industry makes you do things you don’t want to do if you let it, talent agencies are as unethical as it gets and will play an awful game if you let them, the PR wife that you selected (or agreed on) might be a POS… but at the end of the day, it’s all a reflection of your own choices and of who you are… 

NB: special thanks to friends and mods who provided me with content and shared with me their smart observations. If I don’t thank you by name it’s to protect you from being blocked LOL

[itsagrimm]

Dollhouse

Simon Riley X you

CN angst, patriarchy and effects on those who can have children, family planning (this is not a euphemism you dogs)

700 words

The idea came to me in a dream. Little short note so i won't forget.

Cover als always made by me. it's from Abhörstation, Berlin.

You woke up with an ache in your heart.

As always when your boyfriend went on deployment he had to leave early.

As always you got up to make coffee and chat as he packed his bags.

Did you get the socks from the laundry? No idea where your aftershave is. Take the green shirt. It suits you.

Sharing one last cup over breakfast together had become your tradition just like getting up together before his trips. Then that last kiss came before he left through the door.

Stay safe Simon. I miss you already. Come back quickly. I love you too.

The click of the lock closing behind him with painful finality.

Nothing ever prepared you for that part of your relationship when you were alone. You browsed through forums and group chats among military spouses, feeling empty and cheated that no one prepared you for the solitude of it. Or are you the only one not cut out for the waiting? About how much time of your life you spent on standby, waiting for Simon to get back and do all those tiny things and big plans with you? Are you doing this correctly?

Maybe I am not cut out for this – you mused as you looked over the space you shared with Simon; his seat now empty. The book he read yesterday right next to pots of plants you bought together on the windowsill. Photos of you and him in frames over the couch he lounged on last night. Memories frozen in time. Memories in waiting. Like you, sitting here waiting for him to come back and pick up where he left.

You never doubted him. Whatever happened while he was away never left you unloved, forgotten, replaced. But love is not the only thing that you needed. Him catching you in a searing kiss when he returned, carrying you back to the bedroom and feeding your lonely skin until it was plump and satisfied from caresses was never the problem. Simon was never the problem.

It was you. No amount of perfect love and devotion, of passion and desire could make up for you being alone despite your relationship. Standing alone at parties and nursing that one white wine spritzer. Going to family events. Dealing with life on your own and talking to yourself every evening about the day that you had.

Simon is away. Yes, I worry but he will be back soon. I am sure it will be alright.

Sometimes the guilt ate at you. His job was dangerous. He could get hurt. He could die. And yet here you were thinking about how hard your life was. How his life was spent in visible excitement with his buddies sharing a beer after a mission, his captain giving him a pat on the back, people asking him if he was fine. And you were kept in a state of continuous invisible anticipation for him to return to you, hopefully in one piece.

Besides, how many out there would love to live the life you had? Being a perfect little wife one day and dolling up for Simon with that military check paying for that shared life. Keeping a perfect little doll home for him to return to and play civil life for a bit. Being a perfect little single mum to the Riley-kids he would father with you only to never be around for them because of his job.

The thought made you gasp out in worry for the unborn children you weren’t even sure you wanted. Children with dark brown eyes. Children that would leave your fingers trembling from the tiring task of loving and worrying about them. Children that made you wonder where they were and if they would return to you in one piece as if that was not a concerning thought. Was this normal? Or another thing you were failing at?

God, you feared yet wished for that family so much. Hoping for Simon to return right now and asking him how he felt about starting on having kids this exact moment. But your rabbit heart new better and you froze as you reached for your phone, opting to send him “safe travels” instead.

Maybe one day you would grow brave enough to tell him all that. And hopefully he would be brave enough to listen.

[svt-luna]

ᡴꪫ ⋆ INSTAGRAM UPDATE ࣪ ! ˓ ౨ৎ ࣪˖ ─── 240910: Berlin

╰ ౨ৎ LUNA-VERSE MASTERLIST ╰ ౨ৎ luna’s instagram

Liked by jeonghaniyoo_n, xuminghao_o, dk_is_dokyeom, and 2,653,282 others

lunabae berlin you’ll always be my yes, you have my heart always and forevermore, now more than ever 💎🤍

View all comments

jijijiyeoniennie BITCH YOU KILLED IT YESTERDAY!!

lunalover Jiyeonie you are an angel on this earth 😩

ddadduuu girl– I am begging you, hide Jeonghan right the fuck now 🥲

lunaattire MOMMYYYY 🥵

jeongnadaily she’s really posting this acting like nothing happened, as if carats didn’t fucking spot her and Jeonghan holding hands in the streets of Berlin 🙃

↳ nananunu holding hands. swaying them back and forth. interlocked fingers. not once letting go… they don’t care no more 😩

↳ jxjforever I am convinced they are dating and this is their last date before Hannie’s enlistment…

↳ napipopeta thank you for reminding me he’s going to be bald soon 🥰

emilycarat17 LUNA I LOVE YOU 💕💕💕

caratforever17 I love you but y’all forgot to perform Ash and Shadow 🥲

hanniehaeee I can’t be the only one over analyzing that caption— like… am I insane!?

↳ svt-luna NO CAUSE SAME!! Ik she’s talking about how much she’s enjoyed her time there performing and everything but… there is something not being said 🫠

↳ woowonwoo “always be my yes” “always and forevermore, now more than ever” Call me insane but she’s either in love or those are song lyrics 🤔🤷

↳ moonlightbae I don’t like overthinking much about such things and clearly it’s just Luna voicing her gratitude for carats in Berlin but… “always and forevermore, now more than ever” is throwing me tf off fr.

jeongnaupdates the my melody leaves 😩😩

gyugyugyu10 girl– you’re not slick, we all know that’s Jeonghan on the last pic

babymoon Jiyeon you just might as well have captioned this “I love being in love in Berlin” and we would have called it a day 🤭

angeltwins how was the date, miss thing? You can’t fool us and say it was friendly— because there is absolutely no way you and Jeonghan be holding hands, hugging, smiling and shit in public like that for it to be “friendly” 🫥

luuuunaaanie girl just confirm it already, we won’t tell 🤐

missbitch Jiyeon I saw you and Jeonghan yesterday at the park but didn’t want to disturb you two!! I wanted to tell you how much I love you guys and how you’re my bias 😩🥺🩵

liked by creator

↳ lunabae thank you for being so respectful, we would have loved to meet you, love. And I love you too, so much! Hannie says he love you too 🩷

↳ missbitch WATDAFECEJDHUEHEUEGEHEHEHBE LUNA l love you wtf?!?

↳ kwanienie YOU JUST WON THE GAME OF MOTHERFUCKING LIFE RIGHT THERE !!!

↳ thelunanova are you telling me you just saw Han and Luna IN PERSON on their “friendly” date and now THE Bae Jiyeon herself not only replied to you but she also told you she loved you… but not only that THE Yoon Jeonghan did too!?? GOODBYE I—

↳ svtrighthere17 she also called her “love” GOD HAS FAVORITES 😭 happy for you tho

↳ lunadaily SEE!!! THIS IS WHAT BEING MINDFUL AND RESPECTFUL OF THEIR SPACE GETS YOU!! ALL YOU WEIRDOS SHOULD LEARN THE SAME!!

↳ dinothedinosaur ^^^^^ THIS! ^^^^^

hannniee let’s all act surprised once they do confirm their relationship 🤠

jeongnashipper are you telling me we won’t get Jeongna for about two motherfucking years?! NOOOOOOOOOO

cutiesexylovely everybody jokingly saying that they’ll be in their military wife era but do you guys know who the literal military wife is?… Bae Jiyeon🥲

ೃ⁀➷ comment or message me to be added to the tag list :)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ SUBMIT A REQUEST AND ASK ME ANYTHING!

: ̗̀➛ requests are always open ♡ - lunaఌ

Taglist: @yeoberryx @minminghao @angie-x3 @jennwonwoo @k13endall @heeseungthel0ml @chisskaa @megumi2020 @yoonzzziino @lllucere @smh-anon @yveclipse @randomworker @bunnystrm @iamawkwardandshy @gratefulbunny1 @bmo-bri @syren-ash @megseungmin @multiplums @unlikelysublimekryptonite @night-storm7 @cookiearmy @seokqt

[buckyegans]

Bucky insisting on serenading his date

⭑ YEAHH this is so good i’m so sick over this man. thank you for requesting!

⭑ no warnings except language and alcohol + drunk bucky but what’s new?? gender neutral.

 The atmosphere was relaxed—smooth jazz played ahead of you. You tapped your foot to the beat of Irving Berlin’s ‘Blue Skies’, sipping at your drink. It wasn’t often you got to relax through your busy schedule—so, you laid back and enjoyed yourself for once. Most officers danced in time to the song, girls at their arms. Others sat and smoked, making hushed conversation. Then, there was Bucky Egan.

 He was next to you, struggling to sit still. He’d already had a couple of glasses of whiskey, but he’d been mostly tolerable for the majority of the night. Beside him sat Buck Cleven, whose fingers wrapped around the neck of the bottle of Coke, enjoying the music just as much as you were. Bucky looked around, eyes meeting yours for a split money while he grinned. His brows shot up as he flashed his teeth, before he was leaning back towards his best friend, head practically resting on the blond’s shoulder.

 “Hey—you know what this is missing?” asks Bucky, taking a big sip of his third whiskey.

 Buck’s eyes flickered to him, a hint of annoyance apparent. “Nothing?” Bucky responds, brows knitting together as he turned back to watch.

 “Vocals!” Bucky exclaimed.

 Buck shook his head. “No, John—”

 “I’m gonna sing!” Bucky said, sitting up. Buck was quick to push him back, not even batting an eye. Bucky huffed, straightening his uniform. He looked around, leaning forward around Buck to one of his friends. “Should I sing?” he asked.

 “No.” he was quick to say.

 Bucky looked defeated for a moment, but that didn’t deter him. He leaned over you, to another man. “Hey! Should I sing?” he whisper yelled.

 “No?”

 Bucky’s eyes flashed to yours. He repeated the question, practically leaning into you. Your eyes widened with amusement, and you could see Buck shaking his head slowly from over Bucky’s head. You sighed. “No, Bucky. I don’t think so.” you said, patting his shoulder.

 Bucky leaned back into his seat, and sighed. “Yeah. Alright. Okay. You’re right.” he said aloud, relaxing back into his chair. Then, his hand met the armrest of his chair, meeting the beat of the song. He looked like he was holding back belting into song right there—then, he was yelping something out, pushing himself out of his chair.

 Bucky stood in front of you, dancing backwards, eyes on you. “It’s my song, guys!” he exclaimed, shuffling backwards with a grin on his face. Buck watched in horror, jaw dropped. You cringed for a moment, watching as Bucky snatched the mic, hunching over to get close to it.

 Then, he was singing. Loud and out of tune, Bucky Egan’s voice boomed throughout the hall. All you could do was sit there and watch, and somehow pretend you didn’t know him. Then, Bucky was pointing to you, singing in your direction.

 Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me, you thought. “Nothin’ but blue skiiiiies, from now on!” Bucky sang out, hand outstretched to you. Your brows shot up, face pink with embarrassment. You turned to look at Buck, who was already looking at you, hand over his mouth.

 “Are you kidding?” you whisper yelled. “Go get your friend!” you exclaimed, trying to hide.

 Buck shook his head. “No way. He’s singing to you. In front of everyone.” Buck stated, laughing to himself. “Well, I guess you gotta go up there.”

 Seriously? you thought. Without a reluctant huff, you pushed yourself out of your chair, downing your drink in one go. This man was going to be the death of you—you knew that much.

[narcjsistx]

𝐔𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃 | kaiser x reader

— part three

plot: kaiser comforted you after a bad and slow breakup, but what will happen now considering what you two shared? is everything still unexpected or is there something you both simply have yet to realize?. fluff shit 'cause yeah!!

words: 2.9k (2951)

extra: it will probably become a multi part story, tell me if you're interested in a part four!

𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ; take a look, trust me!

The airport, at night, had always seemed like an extremely quiet place to you; often your flights, just like this one in the end, arrived at their destination when it was already dark outside, and going down the steps of the plane in the cold night had always been a pleasant sensation for you. But not this time, when everything seemed out of place while your head still hurt from the fight with Gabriele

Even if at least 3 hours had passed and you were completely in another country, Gabriel's shadow always seemed to be a few steps behind you, looking for the right moment to attack you and suck every last drop of blood from you

The flight had been quick, barely two hours. Berlin had welcomed you with its usual beauty, which fascinated you every time. Your phone had run out of battery just before entering the Milan airport, leaving you with no news from Kaiser. You didn't know if he had read the message, if he was at home, if he was first of all still convinced of his proposal: everything still seemed to be understood, and not having the situation under control was strange for someone like you

During the flight you often thought about Kaiser, but it's often a nice and reductive way of saying always: the thought of seeing him again, of hugging him, of living under his roof again were all sensations that you had terribly missed. His touch was something you craved after so many hands that had touched you only to hurt you

You simply needed Michael

The moment you plugged in the charger at the airport and your phone came back to life, your phone's notifications were flooded with nothing but Kaiser: you had received a few calls, a few messages and even an email. You find yourself smiling almost unconsciously, opening the chat

mihya ♡

— are you serious? — 17:59

— tell me you're not joking and you actually accepted — 18:00

— y/n?? — 18:13

— your phone shows disconnected, maybe you're on a plane — 18:29

— call me — 18:32

— call me as soon as you get off, I'll stay outside until I see the plane land — 18:41

— you don't know how happy it makes me to know that you are here with me again — 18:57

Reread the last message more than a few times, and the smile on your face doesn't seem to want to fade; Kaiser never dares to say such sweet things, but the fact that he did it with you makes you extremely happy. Suddenly, to yourself, you wondered why you hadn't moved back there before. You would have suffered much less

mihya ♡

you — I'm at the gate — 19:47

— I saw you. I'm coming to you — 19:47

You write the message and look up, looking for him among the sea of ​​people walking in their own hurry. Knowing that he responded right away and was waiting for you warms your heart. Noticing blonde and blue hair should be simple, yet where is he? why don't you see anyone approaching?

"Damn" you whisper to yourself, standing on tiptoe to look for him, but you feel as if Gabriel's shadow disappears to make room for another, more reassuring one. You whip around and a pair of cerulean big eyes stare back at you, the usual smirk on his pale, smooth face "Found"

For just a second, the world seems to stop; you look at each other, one's eyes on the other's figure, and for a fraction of time that seems to last too short, you find yourself thinking about what it would be like to kiss him again. Kiss him out of love, not driven by the moment as had happened to you that night in the hotel. Simply knowing what his lips would taste like for a kiss given on the fly, just like that. But the feeling doesn't last long, replaced by one of strangeness for even having imagined such a thing

“Hey” you say, waving at him with your free hand, the other holding the suitcase. But it's not long before he pulls you into a hug, his hands resting on the small of your back. Sweet shivers run down your spine, and you wonder why you all suddenly you seem like a whore for his touch. You just really hope he doesn't notice, because it would be extremely difficult to explain. He stays like that for a few seconds, before you place your free hand against his back, returning the hug. Kaiser lets out a satisfied sigh before pulling away, picking up your suitcase without even asking your permission "I can carry it" you say trying to take the handle again, but he shakes his head "Don't you dare. Are you tired?" he asks

You would like to answer him simply, tell him that at the moment tiredness is eating you alive and the stress of the last fight with Gabriel is still corroding your veins. But now, with him, everything seems a little lighter

"A little, but because of the flight. A good sleep and I'll be better" you say walking next to him as you head towards the airport exit. He watches you, but doesn't seem completely convinced by your words "Is that all?" he asks raising an eyebrow, and you know very well that sooner or later you will have to explain the situation to him in full “For what you need to know now, yes"

You exit the building, your suitcase in the back seat and you and him sitting comfortably in the front seats. The car leaves, walking a road you already know: when you lived with Kaiser, you were often the one who came to pick him up when he returned from another country, and you walked along the exact same road that led, and continues to lead, to his house

"This sudden decision?" the guy says, switching gears "Don't get me wrong, but you still had some doubts on the call. You told me to wait before you hung up on me, and I don't know why" he says, and you understand what he means. You look through the window, Berlin slowly returning to your memory with all its particularities

"Gabriel is back" you say, and notice how his expression changes radically "He acted crazy, and still being there made me realize that there would probably be bad consequences. So I accepted, removing any doubts" you say, your hands calm on your lap. Kaiser nods, but his grip on the steering wheel remains tighter than necessary

"I should have asked you before, but I thought it was one of your usual things where you argue and two days later everything is normal. I'm glad that this time you've really opened your eyes, at least on this topic" he says almost in a sarcastic tone, which however you don't understand all of a sudden "At least in this topic?" you ask, and Micheal turns to look at you for a few seconds before looking back at the road ahead, leaving you with no answer. You glare at him for a few seconds, then sigh; you look back out the window, and suddenly the silence seems to weigh heavy between you

The road passes quietly under your and his gaze, and even before you realize it, you arrive at the iron gate that opens onto Micheal's house. The car passes him and stops in the cobblestone driveway, before it shuts down completely. Kaiser gets out and consequently you too, heading to get your suitcase, but again he is the one who picks it up and carries it into the house.When you enter the house, an old feeling of familiarity enters your veins, reminding you of many beautiful memories: the dinners at midnight when he returned from training, the sports themed evenings where he forced you to pass the ball to him inside the house, the days where you simply stayed lying on the sofa together was the only solution. There is a reason, after all, that you consider the years here to be your happiest

And knowing that for now this will be your new home makes you calm, much more than you were in Milano, always suspicious and sad

"The house also missed you" the boy says ironically, placing the suitcase at the entrance; you giggle, rolling your eyes as you take off your coat “And I missed the house” you say feeling more confident. Kaiser lets out a laugh as he motions for you to follow him into the kitchen, which you do. As you walk, nothing seems to have changed except just the color of the walls, which have now gone from light white to grey

“You didn't have dinner, right?” he asks going towards the fridge "No. I didn't have the chance" you admit, but in fact you weren't really hungry, still with an upset stomach after the fight "I suspected. Sit down, I'll make you something" he says taking some eggs, but you shake your head before approaching and taking the food in your hand "Don't worry, it's not a big problem. Have you eaten?" you ask, and he glares at you, almost hurt "Don't worry about that, I'll eat something later. Sit down" he says moving his head, and you're about to reply when he shushes you again "This is your home again, you don't have to well done" he says, and a smile tugs at your lips before you sigh, finally sitting down

Kaiser starts preparing something, and you watch as he moves around the kitchen. You were used to seeing him cook, but seeing him do it at his house with the knowledge that it was yours again had a different flavor. You wanted to ask him so many things, but above all if he really wasn't often at home or had only told you to convince you. The company, appreciated above all, would not have hurt you like someone else “Mihya” you call to him, and he turns around “Hm?” he murmurs, returning to his work "Are you really not home often?" you ask, thinking about it "I know you guys are playing some kind of league right now, so you're busy. I also saw that you had a game today, but in Berlin" you say, hiding the fact that you had this afternoon's game against PxG seen in full “When are you leaving next?” you ask

Kaiser places a plate of eggs and vegetables in front of you, before sitting down on the chair in front of yours "I'm often not at home because of the championship, yes. Today it was a coincidence that I was playing in Berlin, but in general I go to hotels with the rest of the team. The next game should be in Cologne tomorrow afternoon, so I should leave tonight, but-" he says, and you interrupt him almost immediately "You should get ready if you have to leave, then" you say worriedly, but he shakes his head "-But, since you have arrived, I will leave alone and ask to come back first. You are here, and I don't like leaving you alone no matter how much you want it. The team will leave tonight and I will join them by train tomorrow morning" he says, putting down his head on the table on his folded arms

The carrot you were eating gets stuck in your throat, and a sense of embarrassment spreads around you. You look at Kaiser, who gave up something so important just for you, who looks at you with an attention he has never paid to anyone since you've known him. The gaze is returned, and a strange sense of tension stops between you

You want to let win your intrusive thoughts that tell you to kiss him and ask him why you had sex win, but you resist for the shred of dignity you have left. But, in your eyes at least, he also seems to be fighting the urge to do something

"You shouldn't have. But thank you, Mihya" you say trying to get everything back to normal, but his damned look doesn't seem to give in even as the words return to compensate for the silence

You eat in silence, glancing at each other as you finish your meal. Without really noticing it, it's later than you expected: you both enter the room you used a few years ago, and everything is left as you left it, only some of his prizes have taken their places on the shelves "I'll take them out as soon as I have a few minutes" he says, placing the suitcase on the floor "Don't worry, I like them. They're shiny, they reflect you" you say sitting on the floor, opening the suitcase which contains few stuff for a stay. Kaiser notices this immediately "You didn't bring much stuff" he says, sitting down on the bed, his knees a few centimeters from your face "I know. I'll buy something here or have the rest shipped to me somehow from Milano" you say, sticking out a underwear vest, which you decided on the spot that you will use as pajamas. Micheal nods almost immediately as he watches you place some of your things in the room. You missed these four walls, you missed everything and especially Kaiser

Right now, the situation you're in is even more confusing: even though you know he'll be out of town a lot, sooner or later the topic of that night will come up. And probably, knowing both yourself and him, other topics will come up in the heat of the moment. Your goal is to put this situation off for as long as possible, because adding this to your already stressed state would be fatal for you. At the same time though, you need so many answers that you can't count them on the fingers of your hands. However, you also need answers from yourself, because after a fresh breakup you already find yourself having such strange thoughts with the last person in the world you should have them about, your best friend

Best friend. Kaiser has been your best friend for a long time, but what are you actually to him? His best friend, he would tell you, the girl who is closest to him at the moment. But how can you still consider someone you slept with as your best friend and with whom you have always sought physical contact ever since, even as simple as holding hands?. The way you loved each other that night wasn't best friends, not even fuck buddies because otherwise you wouldn't have given it any weight once it happened. That gesture was dictated by love, and it scared you

Love had reduced you to something insignificant, and above all, loving Kaiser wasn't possible: he was your best friend, or at least that was the label you felt like saying. Loving him meant going back to that time many years ago where you had desperately loved him but never done anything to call him yours. You were a little girl at the time, now you were a woman and, above all, in the midst of a world class scandal. Everything indicated that there was no possibility, even remote, of being able to love him again. Then, you didn't really know what he thought about it, and on the one hand you preferred to stay in the dark so as not to face other problems

You were confused, maybe he was seriously having fewer problems than you were having everything. Maybe it really was all in your head

“Y/n” Micheal says, snapping you out of your thoughts that were seriously going to the worst “Sorry I got distracted, tell me” you say folding some sweatshirts, putting them in your new closet “I'm seriously happy to see you here again. I'd rather you be alone but well than with that crazy guy" Kaiser says, getting up from the bed as he approaches you. You watch him, his hands pulling you into a hug again, slower this time, as if he's taking his time: his arms slide along your sides, practically ending up on the outer part of your lower back, his head resting on your shoulder

You would like to say that his words don't have as much effect on you, that it's not a problem like all the others already on the list, but you would be lying. It's doing exactly what makes you even more confused, making your brain feel like goo

"Mihya, I-" you say embarrassed, not knowing how to respond to such an important sentence like his "You don't need to tell me anything. Let me stay like this for a few more minutes before I go to bed" he says against your neck, and now even that little bit of brain you had is now officially gone. You sigh perplexedly, now placing your arms around his neck as you let yourself be lulled by the beautiful sensation

“I'm glad to be back here. I missed all this” you say, caught up in the moment. You didn't tell a lie, because actually the first months away here were extremely complex, and still remained so after years. You fiercely loved the feeling of living with Kaiser, but for a long time you had had to hide it from Gabriel, thus minimizing trips to Germany and especially to the blond and blue boy's house

"I missed you instead" he says almost in a whisper, but it reaches your ears straight like a blow, an electric shock, straight to your heart

Maybe the situation was even more complicated than you imagined until a little while ago

[queenslimeball]

The Coffee or The Man

Steve Harrington x male!reader

contents; fluff

Summary; steve finds out that his crush on his best friend was much more obvious than he thought

The clock ticks again, and again, and again. It had been ten minutes since M/n left to get a coffee for Steve, yet he can't stop staring out the window and glancing at the time. No matter how long Steve stares, nothing seems to change, so he instead appears rather desperate. The VHS tape in his hand still hasn't been placed on the shelf. He's a statue now, helpless and longing...

"Steve!" The familiar voice shakes Steve out of his trance. His head whips around to look at Robin, who's giving him a rather suspicious look. "Are you seriously that desperate for M/n to get back?" She teases, leaning against the shelf with a knowing smirk. Steve just scoffs, moving his arm forward. He tries to put the VHS on the shelf but misses and has to look to put it on properly.

"I don't know what you're implying, but I just really want that coffee." Steve replies, not looking back at Robin. Robin puts down her tapes and moves closer to Steve, trying to get his full attention. "You didn't want M/n to leave when he offered." She retorts.

"Look– I–" Steve cuts himself off, jaw hung low as he tries to think of some kind of excuse. He looks at Robin and huffs. "He's my best friend. I just wanted his company."

"Right, right. But are you aware of the way you look at M/n?" Robin tilts her head as if trying to get her point across. Steve is fully aware.

It all started not that long ago when M/n and Steve were trapped in the Russian basement together. M/n had sacrificed himself to protect Steve from any harm while he got tortured for answers. Steve was grateful, very grateful. But he also felt love for M/n in that moment. He tried to push it away. To convince himself that he's not the sort of guy that likes men. But he couldn't seem to change himself. He still can't.

Several months later, Steve is even deeper in love with M/n. He doesn't want to admit that to himself, talk about to Robin. It's all so confusing. Why has Steve suddenly started liking guys? And why his best friend of all people?

"I look at him how I look at anyone." Steve denies, grabbing a tape and continuing to stock the shelf. He wants to move on from the conversation. But he knows Robin will persist. "No, you don't! You love him, don't you? Just be honest with me." She continues to pry.

"Robin! I'm not gay. Just drop it. We talked about this. I like boobies or whatever." Steve argues, clearly getting more frustrated in his tone. "Just because you like women doesn't mean you can't like men. Specifically, M/n." She explains.

Steve doesn't quite know what to say now. He's been caught, and there's no denying it anymore. He can barely admit this to himself, talk about one of his closest friends. He can't quite force any words from his lips that agree to Robin's accusations. If Robin finds out, that means other people would eventually find out, including M/n. But also including Steve's parents. They'd kill him.

"I just want him to get back with my coffee. That's it." Steve says, finally able to get words out of his mouth, despite the devastating crack in his voice.

"Is it the coffee or the man that you want?" Robin asks, barely even considered a question. They both know the answer.

Ding!

Steve and Robin look over at who's entered the store. M/n walks in, back pressed into the door as both of his hands are holding a cup of coffee. Steve completely blocks out whatever M/n is saying, too distracted by his own feelings at just seeing the boy enter. Exchanging a glance, Steve and Robin make a telepathic agreement to be quiet about this, nodding their heads once.

M/n doesn't need to know. Not yet.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Tabs give me superpowers

Berliners: Otherland has added a second date (Jan 28) for my book-talk after the first one sold out - book now!

"Lifehacking" is in pretty bad odor these days, and with good reason: a once-useful catch-all for describing how to make things easier has become a pit of productivity porn, grifter hustling, and anodyne advice wreathed in superlatives and transformed into SEO-compliant listicles.

But I was there when lifehacking was born, and I'm here to tell you, it wasn't always thus. Lifehacking attained liftoff exactly 19 years and 348 days ago, on Feb 11, 2004, when Danny O'Brien presented "Life Hacks: Tech Secrets of Overprolific Alpha Geeks" at the 0'Reilly Emerging Technology Conference (aka ETCON). I was there, and I took notes:

https://craphound.com/lifehacksetcon04.txt

O'Brien's inspiration was his social circle, in which people he knew to be no smarter or better or motivated than anyone else in that group were somehow able to do much more than their peers, in some specific domain. O'Brien delved deeply into these peoples' lives and discovered that each of them had merely ("merely!") gotten very good at using one or two tools to automate things that would otherwise take up a lot of their time.

These "hacks" freed up their practitioners to focus on things that mattered more to them. They accomplished the goal set out in David Allen's Getting Things Done: to make a conscious choice about which things you are going to fail to do today, rather than defaulting to doing the things that are easy and trivial, at the expense of the things that matter, but are more complicated:

https://gettingthingsdone.com/what-is-gtd/

One trait all those lifehacks shared: everyone who created a little hack was faintly embarrassed by it, and assumed that others who learned about their tricks would find them trivial or foolish. O'Brien changed the world by showing that other people were, in fact, delighted and excited to learn about their peers' cool little tricks.

(Unfortunately, this eventually opened the floodgates of overheated posts about some miraculous hack that turned out to indeed be silly and trivial or even actively bad, but that wasn't O'Brien's fault!)

I'm one of those people whom others perceive as very "productive." There are some objective metrics on which this is true: I wrote nine books during lockdown, for example. Like the lifehackers O'Brien documented in 2004, I have lots of little hacks that aren't merely a way of getting more done – they're a way to make sure that I get the stuff that matters to me (taking care of my family and my health, and writing books) done.

A lot of these lifehacks boil down to making your life easier. There's a spot on our kitchen counter where I put e-waste. Whenever I go out to the car, I carry any e-waste out and put it in a bag in the trunk. Any time I'm near our city dump, I stop and throw the bag into their e-waste bin. This is now a habit, and habits are things you get for free: I spend zero time thinking about e-waste, which means I have more time to think about things that matter (and our e-waste still ends up in the right place).

There's other ways I use habits to make my life easier: after many years, I learned how to write every day:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/22/walking-the-plank/

For longer-form works like novels, I "leave myself a rough edge," finishing the day's work in the middle of a sentence. That way I get a few words for free the next day, meaning I never start the day's work wondering which words I'll type:

https://locusmag.com/2014/01/cory-doctorow-cheap-writing-tricks/

One of the most powerful habits I've cultivated is to have a group of daily tabs that I open in a new browser every morning. The meat of this tab group is websites I want to check in with every day, either because they don't have RSS feeds, or because I want to make sure I never miss an update.

This tab-group habit started before RSS was widespread, when most of the websites I wanted to check in on every day didn't have feeds yet, and for many years, this group was just a set of daily reads. But over the years, I started throwing things in the tab-group that I needed to stay on top of.

My daily tabs are in a folder called "unfucked rota" (they were originally in a folder called "rota," which got corrupted and had to be reconstructed in a folder I called "fucked rota," until I finally took a couple hours off and got it in good running order, hence "unfucked rota"). As I type this, "unfucked rota" contains more than a hundred websites I visit every morning, but it also contains:

The edit-history pages for four Wikipedia entries I'm watching;

Chronological feeds of my books on Amazon and Audible, to catch counterfeits as they are posted;

The parent notification portal for my kid's school;

The mileage history for the airline I flew on yesterday (I'll delete this once the flight is posted);

The credit card history for a card I reported a fraudulent charge on (I'll delete this once the refund is posted);

The sell-pages for three products that are out of stock (I'll delete these once the products are in stock and ordered);

A bookmarked newest-first Ebay search for a shirt I like that has been discontinued by the manufacturer;

The new-survey-completed pages for my last two Kickstarters;

The courier tracking page for an item being shipped sea-freight to me from Asia.

The tail end of this unfucked rota changes all the time, but as you can tell, it's got a lot of stuff that would be time-consuming to build a whole new system to track, but which has a web-page that can be easily added to a daily, habitual check-in and then removed when it's not relevant anymore.

Some of these things have email notifiers or RSS feeds, but those are too easy to lose in the noise. I generally delete email from ecommerce sites unread, since 99.99% of the messages they send me are unsolicited marketing nonsense, not the "notify me when this is back in stock" message I do want to see (same goes for my kid's school, which sends me fifty unimportant messages for every message that I must reply to).

Most of the internet is still on the web, which means it can be bookmarked, which means that it takes me one second to add it to the group of things I'm staying on top of, and one second to remove from that group. I get up in the morning, middle-click the "unfucked rota" item in my bookmarks pane, make a cup of coffee, and then sit down and race through those tabs, close-close-close.

It takes less than a second to scan a tab to see if it's changed (and if I close a tab too quickly, the ctrl-shift-T "unclose" shortcut is there in muscle-memory, another habit). The whole process takes between one and 15 minutes (depending on whether there's anything useful and new in one of those tabs).

Tabs, like lifehacks, are also in bad odor. Everyone stresses about how many tabs they have open. It's even inspired Rusty Foster's excellent newsletter, Today In Tabs:

https://www.todayintabs.com/

But this is a very different way to think about tabs. Rather than opening a window full of tabs that need your detailed, once-off attention later, this method is about using groups of tabs so that you can pay cursory, frequent attention to them.

In a world full of administrative burdens, where firms and institutions play the "sure, we'll do that, but you're going to have to track our progress" game to get out of living up to their obligations, this method is a powerful countermeasure:

https://memex.craphound.com/2015/02/02/david-graebers-the-utopia-of-rules-on-technology-stupidity-and-the-secret-joys-of-bureaucracy/

My little tab habit is so incredibly useful, such a powerful way to seize back time and power from powerful actors who impose burdens on me, that I sometimes forget how, for other people, tabs are a symptom of a life that's spiraling out of control. For me, a couple hundred tabs are a symbol of a couple hundred tasks that I'm totally on top of, a symbol of control wrestled back from others who are hostile to my interests.

This isn't how tabs were "meant" to be used, of course. It's an example of the kind of "innovation" that comes from users repurposing things in ways their designers didn't necessarily anticipate or intend.

This is what Jonathan Zittrain meant by "generative" technology back in 2008, when he published his incredibly prescient The Future of the Internet: And How To Stop It:

https://memex.craphound.com/2008/07/22/zittrains-the-future-of-the-internet-how-to-save-the-internet-from-the-internet/

For Zittrain, "generativity" was the property of some technologies that let its users generate new, useful tools and solutions for themselves (this is very different from "generative AI!")

Zittrain described how "curated" computing systems, like mobile devices that relied on apps that couldn't be adapted by their users, were dead ends for generativity. 15 years later, the dismal world of apps has proven him right:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/24/everything-not-mandatory/#is-prohibited

To the extent that "lifehacking" is about doing more, rather than being more deliberate about what you accomplish, it can be harmful. I am not immune to the failure modes of lifehacking:

https://locusmag.com/2017/11/cory-doctorow-how-to-do-everything-lifehacking-considered-harmful/

But overall, using tabs as something I close, rather than something I open, is a source of comfort and calm for me. For one thing, ripping through a group of tabs every morning means that I don't have to worry about missing something if I go too fast. I'll get another chance tomorrow:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/27/probably/

Decades ago, Dori Smith dubbed her pioneering blog her "#Backup Brain":

https://web.archive.org/web/20020120231027/http://www.backupbrain.com/

At their best, our systems – be they physical, like a spot on the counter where the e-waste goes, or digital, like a tab-group – are "congitive prostheses." They allow us to move important things from the highly contested, busy and precious space between our ears and out there into the world:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/09/the-memex-method/

Like those lifehackers that O'Brien studied for his presentation in 2004, I confess to feeling a little silly about telling you all about this. For me, this habit of decades is so ingrained that it feels trivial and obvious. And yet, when I look at people in my life struggling to stay on top of a million nagging administrative tasks that could be easily watched through a morning's flick through a tab-group, I can't help but think that maybe some of you will find a useful idea or two in my unfucked rota.

I'm Kickstarting the audiobook for The Bezzle, the sequel to Red Team Blues, narrated by @wilwheaton! You can pre-order the audiobook and ebook, DRM free, as well as the hardcover, signed or unsigned. There's also bundles with Red Team Blues in ebook, audio or paperback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/25/today-in-tabs/#unfucked-rota

[hannahssimblr]

Beginning // Prev // Next

Transcript

Gabija: Where are you going?

Jude: I'm meeting a friend at the park.

Gabija: Can I come?

Jude: He's a friend from Ireland. I don't know if you'd-

Gabija: That's exciting! I'd love to meet your Irish friend!

Jude: ...

Gabija: [yammers]

Jude: I'm glad the flight was alright and all that. Where are you staying?

Shane: In some pile of shit hostel there somewhere off in that direction. I didn't have a thing to do with the planning, and one of the lads from college booked it. We're stuck with it now, like.

Jude: Well, you'll hardly be in it, I'd say. Just to sleep and shower.

Shane: Knowing this crowd, we might not sleep at all.

Jude: Well, you came to the right city for that.

Shane: You like it here, then?

Jude: Yeah, I've started to settle.

Gabija: Berlin is amazing. I'm also having a super fantastic time.

Shane: [clears throat] And, ehm, Gabija, is it? You're not from Berlin then, are you?

Gabija: No, I come from Lithuania.

Shane: Ah, right, yeah.

Jude: So you're liking college?

Shane: Yeah, it's alright, lots of lectures and labs and shit, but it's nice to have a place of my own now.

Jude: You don't miss Tullamore, no?

Gabija: What is that place? Is it the town you come from?

Shane: That's right, yeah. It's, like, a town in the centre of Ireland. Boring enough, but like, my girlfriend lives there, so. I miss it and I don't at the same time. You know what I mean?

Jude: Yeah, totally.

Gabija: Look! There's a guy over there playing music. We should listen to him.

Jude: Gabija... It's okay. I'm not really that interested in hearing-

Gabija: Come on! He's playing Oasis. I love Oasis.

Jude: [mutters] I think Oasis are shit.

Gabija: Do you have change?

Jude: Yeah, here.

Shane: So, er, Gabija. You're studying in the same college as Jude, is it?

Gabija: [yammers]