#i miss being on break... i had so much time for silly fanart... still i must try and prevail
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hiiiiiiii
#my art#danganronpa#danganronpa 1#trigger happy havoc#danganronpa thh#celestia ludenberg#when i played dr i missed how much she slayed bc i was sad taka died. on reflection while watching my brother play . love her shes so funny#i miss being on break... i had so much time for silly fanart... still i must try and prevail
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Late night thoughts vol. 1
It's 4 am and I cannot sleep so I'm just gonna splooge some random thoughts that I have (some positive, some negative, and some that's probably just nonsense.)
Uhh, I like to get negatives out of the way first so I guess I can start with that.
- Does anyone else miss when art/animation communities felt more niche but open? I'm particularily talking about the animation meme community here cause that's a community I've more or less lurked in for a long time. I remember a time when there was the big three of animation memes a lot of people and myself were inspired by. It feels silly to say that what got me into art were a bunch of independent artists animating anime cats fighting eachother, but that's exactly what happened. I loved these creators (still do) and I looked forward to seeing what else these creators had to offer. As time went on, more creators came in the fray with a lot of cool talent and craftmanship and it was honestly very cool seeing what everyone had to offer. That's something I loved most about AMC, that so many were able to feel free to create whatever they wanted and how wonderful it paid off to see that creativity put into so many special masterpieces of independent art and animation, and that's something I'll always admire. So it breaks my heart to see what the AMC has became. Don't get me wrong, there's still a ton of great artists out there and y'all are fantastic, but I cannot help but feel like the environment in that community especially had gotten a lot more vile than what it started off as. To be fair, that's pretty much any community these days, I'm well aware of that. But I have never seen so much drama, so much infighting, and so much people being deplorable to eachother in my life that it's honestly sickening! I've always wanted to make my own animation memes and I still do, I have a TON of ideas I'd love to get to eventually, but if I ever decide to post them, don't expect me to engage much with the rest of the community. IMO, the best communities you can have are the small close ones you have with your best pals.
- For the past few years, I've been distancing myself from big social media branches and fandoms because of how toxic the environments can be for some of these spaces especially, and it's honestly helped a lot with my mental health (Deleting my Twitter and moving here has honestly been one of the best things I've done last year). It's partially why I've stopped posting so frequently, because really the only people I truly care about pleasing are me and all my close friend groups and found families I've built. I don't really care about statistics and platform building, if people like my stuff, then that's cool. I can look at a post I made with bigger numbers than usual and go "huh, that's pretty neat" and then move on talking about a crossover AU I've been cooking up with my boyfriend. That's not to say I don't appreciate my followers or people who like my content, I do. But know that what I make isn't catered to what'll get me the most attention, it's what'll make me and my family happy. And if people like that, then that's cool. Maybe every now and then I'll ask my followers what they'd like to see, maybe a fanart raffle or sketch request event, I think that'd be nice. But for the most part, this page is very, and I mean VERY self indulgent.
- Uhh I've been doing okay for the most part, personal issues I don't wanna get to aside. I've mainly been working on plushies, commissions and other self indulgent projects. I mentioned before that I got into the latest Cookie Run game, and that's pretty cool. I've mostly focused on making art for that and mine and my boyfriend's OC/AU projects. I'll post more about it when I get there, but for now uhh... gay people.
You'll learn who these guys are soon enough, for now you'll only get name drops
The big gruff fellow is a lava rock golem named Vulcan and the pretty boy is named Jack Frosting.
- And I think that's mostly it for tonight? This post took me a full hour to write so it's actually 5 now as I'm finishing up oops..
My sleep schedule's fucked.
Uhh any final words before I pass out? Hmm..
Gender dysphoria sucks okay BYYYEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
#vanna talks#Screaming into a void of nothingness#late night thoughts#I tried getting some sleep earlier but my body refused to rest#it feels muggy in here sometimes I hate itt#can the best season just come already I'm tired of summer
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i actually listened to (most of, never caught up w the last few episodes) homestuck made this world and i found it very insightful in terms of fandom history and finding out what was going on on the mspa forums and the something awful forums at the time the comic was updating, but other than that i found the hosts’ opinions to be pretty infuriating a lot of the time.
i mean don’t get me wrong, there was a lot of insightful commentary and things they said that made me appreciate and enjoy the comic more, (lots of cool comparisons to other pieces of literature that i found incredibly fascinating and genuinely expanded my view of the comic for the better!) but sometimes i would have to take a break from listening because i got so mad at how ridiculous some of the things they said were.
rant about it under the cut lol (btw not trying to argue with u or anything, just wanna say this as kind of a warning for ppl who might take ur suggestion. i’m not saying you Shouldn’t listen to it lol)
for example one of them thought that liv tyler (the robot bunny) being the “secret thing in jade’s birthday package to john” was “the most idiotic narrative decision in homestuck” and every time it showed up thereafter, he’d go on a little angry rant about how much he hates it. which is ridiculous to me, because that is so easy to predict. all of the birthday packages thus far had contained bunnies. why would this be any different? it is WILD how MAD he gets about this silly little robot bunny.
and just in general i found them to be kind of snobbish academic types. sort of an attitude of “well in my training they tell you to tell stories this way, and homestuck does it wrong” and it is like man who cares. it’s an unconventional story why should it follow conventional storytelling rules? they also don’t seem to care as much about some of the female characters. vriska and terezis dynamic barely got any discussion, when it is literally “the axis around which homestuck revolves” (hussies words, paraphrased) they are very much cis men with cis men views and it gets tiring to listen to sometimes because there is just sooooo much they aren’t taking into account because they have such limited perspectives.
there was also no tumblr perspective, which, imo, was a HUGE and very important part of the homestuck fandom. maybe i’m biased since that’s where i experienced the homestuck fandom. but like. the entirety of the dancestors are based off tumblr, and because those guys were never on tumblr they didn’t really have that firsthand perspective of what the characters were actually parodying/satirizing, and thus their commentary on it was very narrow. just in general there is a HUGE chunk of fandom history missing by virtue of them not covering tumblr homestuck fandom very much.
ALSO???? one of the hosts HATES cosplay and cosplayers so much in a way that genuinely like. concerns me. i remember his words being “i don’t like it when people dress up and pretend to be something they’re not” or something VERY along those lines. literally had to pause and go UHHHHHH HELLO DO YOU HEAR WHAT YOURE SAYING RIGHT NOW DUDE???? jesus christ. (at the very least he SEEMED to maybe recognize it as something he needs to work on internally. still sucks to hear as a cosplayer lmao)
the main host who read the comic as it was updating, michael, says he “used to be anti-fandom and never participated in fandom but now has an appreciation for what fandom can be (from the perspective of an outsider)” and the other host who was reading it for the first time, cameron, seems to find fandom as a whole distasteful and cringe. like oh god you can tell how cringe he thinks it is the whole time and it is really fucking grating how little whimsy this guy can tolerate. he’s always like “i’m not saying i hate it and i’m not trying to stop anyone from having fun” n shit like that but that sentiment only goes so far for me when you can just tell how off-put he is by the concept of fandom and fanart and cosplay and fanfic as a whole. as someone who participates in all of that, who has made literally all of my current irl friends through the homestuck fandom, i found his commentary on the matter incredibly annoying and i often had to step away and remind myself he does not know what he’s talking about and that i shouldn’t take his opinions to heart. it was rough to get through sometimes.
(like, i try not to take it personally or whatever, but it’s just REALLY hard hearing people be ignorant as fuck about something you know a lot about and not being able to do anything about it. you just have to keep sitting there and listening. or turn it off, but then you miss out on some of the actual good stuff)
in a way, it’s a lot like hussies book commentary lmao! there’s a lot of good insightful stuff in there, but you have to trudge through a lot of bullshit. you have to remember that while they seem smart with their phd’s and their knowledge on literature and storytelling, their perspectives are still incredibly limited in a lot of ways.
i know ive basically said this already lol but a lot of ppl have been like "oh man i should reread homestuck with the commentary!" and i do want to warn yall it is an extremely mixed bag of genuine insightful stuff and good writing advice and then just like. terrible writing advice, and weird off-kilter bad-taste jokes. i've just been posting the stuff i think is good and interesting or particularly funny, but it's not all top tier commentary lmao
if ur doing a reread with book commentary get ready to be annoyed. and put on ur critical thinking helmet lol because you have to parse through so much of hussies bullshit. u have to ask urself CONSTANTLY "are they serious, or are they being satirical right now?" and i genuinely do not know the answer for some of the shit they say.
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Shower
ONESHOT} You and Stephen end up taking a shower together.
PAIRING} Stephen Strange x Female!Reader
WARNINGS} SMUT!18+, angst, fluff, lots of filth, fingering, blowjob, unprotected sex, PRAISE
WORD COUNT} 4,888
-}This fanart (credit to OWNER!!!) inspired THIS absolute filth, which this could have gone a lot of ways but you will see how it is soon.
-} This piece is dedicated to Strange Cult. this picture has lit this amazing, funny, extremely horny, chaotic chat up more times than can be counted at this point. I sincerely hope this itches some brains the right way. Enjoy you horny bitches.
It was late, and you were just tired of it all. You were exhausted because of all the people you’d been around lately. There were so many fake smiles, “How are you, hon?”’s, and glared exchanges. It’s not unusual, it’s not even rare for it to happen in your guys’ line of work, but it has been getting to be a lot lately. It was even worse when you tried to talk to Stephen about it because it felt like he didn’t exactly understand it. He was used to people, especially people he had to be around and didn’t exactly like. You understood why he has that power; he used to be a surgeon. He had to do his due diligence and be the best, knowing those people wouldn’t think of him much past a signature on a document. It felt like he just wanted you to have tougher skin, when really, you just wanted to talk to the one person in this world you could trust. You just wanted him to listen.
“Are you okay?” His voice rang in your ear as you sat in the passenger's seat with your head laid on the window, hand covering your forehead so the lights on the street wouldn’t give you a headache, another pain to have for the night. You turned to him and saw a concerned look, but he was trying to keep his eyes on the road. He seemed worried about looking over at you at all.
“I’ll be fine. It’s just been a long night. I just want to go home and go to bed.” You barely spoke. He still heard you, judging by the way his face softens when you start speaking.
“That bad today?” He tried to poke at your brain. His left hand was on the wheel, his right elbow leaning on the center console and his hand rested comfortably on the shifter. “I can see that you’re tired, and I’m tired, too. I’m sorry, but we still have a 15 minute drive left. Humor me, YN.” He moved his right hand to rest on your thigh. It makes you close your eyes for a second as you feel the warmth of his hand settle into it. His hands and movements seem so genuine, but his words seem harsh.
“The party seemed like it was a bit much for a week filled with meetings and strategies, and fighting involved.” You muttered. This past week really has worn you down. Tonight’s party was not in the least bit relaxing, either. About 30 minutes into the party, you were already begging Stephen to bring you back home.
“You know how they like to celebrate that they didn’t die. They like you! They wanted you there! You’re a part of the team. Plus, I'm a little bit guilty of the same need for celebration.” He looks at you for a split second to see what your face reads. He sees your smile. You gave a silly chuckle, and it prompted him to laugh with one of the goofiest laughs you’d ever heard out of him. It was very nice to hear that side of him.
“Yeah okay, I guess you’re right. It is pretty good you came back.” You said with a little more energy. His company is all you missed. You were excited to be home and alone with him.
“It’s good you came back, too. I’m glad we’re both safe and not fighting anything for the time being.”
“With our jobs, Stephen? I don’t think our break will last very long.”
“So, I'm hearing you would like to spend whatever amount of time we have until our vacation gets cut short to just have fun? No expectations?” He asked. His grip on your thigh tightened, ever so slightly, and you could see his eyes widen as he looked at the road. His stupid smile formed, as you could imagine in his head he was trying to hold it at bay. It really was a sweet gesture, but you also know that you guys haven't been on the smoothest of roads lately. The stupid fights you would have, the big fights that would happen at the most inconvenient times. It angers and saddens you, the waves of it sinking your heart into your stomach as you remember it all. It sucked but it happens. We do have high-stress occupancies. It’s not that you two don’t like each other. You guys are just humans with tendencies to bottle things up, which leads to both of your guys’ explosive moods.
You honestly didn’t take kindly to his suggestion. It wasn’t because he was trying to be suave and avoid talking about anything, it just hurts you when he doesn’t listen to you. You weren’t trying to take it personally, but it was late, and the wonders that being tired does to your reflexes is a little bit unfair. You scoffed lightly and turned your head to the window for a second, and then back. “There are never any expectations with you, Stephen.” The seat warmer makes you melt a little lower.
“What is that supposed to mean? ” His demeanor changes. He looks a little angry. It looks as though he’s going to take his hand away. His sweet, warm, soft hand. You don’t want him to move his fingers from their position. Not even an inch. It’s been a very long week.
“Nothing, I'm sorry. Please, let’s just get home.” You placed your palm on top of his delicately placed hand. His posture shifts, as if he doesn’t know or fully understand what has just happened. He relaxes his hand under yours on your thigh and turns down the final street. “Are you sure, YN?” He asked in a monotone voice. You can tell he’s upset. His driving slows down, as he pulls up to your driveway. “Yes, it’s fine. I’m just really tired.” You replied. He started to rub your thigh as he turned off the car. You can’t seem to stop focusing on his hands.
Warm, cloud-like fingers. Sweet and delicate shapes being drawn. The heat of his body being absorbed by your cold skin.
The feeling warms your stomach up in a way you haven’t felt in a while. You and Stephen were just so busy this week, there was barely time for you guys. It feels like a phantom feeling inside of you.
“You do realize I could have used my ring to portal us here, right?” He asks, trying to break the tension in the air. It works.
“Yes, I will never forget that you can. On the other hand, you still do know that I prefer we do things normally rather than just take shortcuts. It’s good for us.” You say sweetly. A faint smile grows as your sleepiness hits harder.
“A fair point, my darling. Now come on, sleepyhead. Let’s go get ready for bed.” He lifted his right hand up from your thigh, and lightly caressed your chin. He carefully placed a kiss on your cheek. You notice that he sounds ready to get out of the car.
“That doesn’t sound like a bad plan.” You say weakly, the exhaustion seeps in. You manage to crawl out of the car and get to the door with Stephen, he unlocks the door and leads you in by holding the small of your back. You revel in the feeling.
“Would you like me to make you a snack?” He asks. “No, thank you. I just want a bath and some sleep. In our own bed.” You whined sweetly. He smiles and pulls you in for a hug. His scent floods your senses. You missed him so much. You started to tear up. He hears a sniffle on his shirt and he immediately starts asking what happened.
“I’m just really tired and I want to go to bed already.” You said, and this time he doesn’t believe it.
“YN, What is wrong?” He pulls you away from his chest to see your puffy eyes. “What’s really going on?” He finished.
“I’m frustrated.” You said as a few tears fell down your cheeks.
“About what?” He begs for more. His eyes are concerned, and squinted. His stare makes you blank for a moment.
“About you.” You confessed. Tonight was not going how you wanted it to. “I’m also upset that I've been undercut and dismissed lately. I just don’t want to fight about this right now. Can we just get ready for bed?” You pulled away from him and started walking to the bedroom.
“What? No, we should talk about this.” He followed. You exhaled, obviously just wanting to slip into the bedsheets and reset.
“Stephen, just drop it, please. I'm just moody and tired. Getting some sleep-” You walked up to the dresser and opened a drawer to pull out some pj’s.
“No! You don’t get to walk away! YN, please. Let me help.” He pleads. You were getting heated up.
“There’s nothing that we can do about it right now. Stephen, please. Forget about it.” You finished. You wished you’d never said anything. You wished you guys could go back to being cuddly and sweet.
“Yes, there is! I can help you, I can make you comfortable-”
“No! You can’t just make me comfortable! You can’t just go get my favorite things and come back after we fight! You can’t just draw my baths or prep anything for me, Stephen. It’s not about comfortability! You just don’t listen sometimes! I just want you to listen to my issues, even if it goes away in 30 minutes. Please! Please, hon.” You stopped to take a few breaths. “I just wanted to go to bed. I didn’t want to do this tonight.” You walked towards the bathroom.
“YN…” He whispers as he reaches for your shoulder. His touch reverberates throughout your body, and it makes you stop in your tracks. “I’m sorry.” He utters.
“No, we don’t-” He ends your sentence by just bringing his tall frame against your back. “We do. What don’t I listen to, my love?” His right hand trails down your upper arm, and finds its place in your hand. He rubs your back with his other hand as he feels you breathe. He can tell you’re still tense. You hesitate for a moment, but decide to speak about it so it isn’t something he can pester you for hours about, because you know he will.
“About the people. And our appearances, and egos the size of Texas, and not to mention yours in that mixture. It’s a lot. It was a lot for me. I don’t take kindly to the fake sh*t. You know that. I don’t have grievances. I tried to talk to you about this multiple times this week and you just told me that I need to calm down, that they’re just a day of my life and I won’t have to worry about them ever again in a few days.” You told him, finally. As you spoke, his hands would continue to rub you, trying to make you feel better. “I knew I would feel better in a few days because we’d be here. But I just wanted you to listen to me about it.” There's silence before he replied to your confession.
“Egos the size of Texas?” He asked in your ear. It made you a little mad again.
“Stephen Strange-” He could hear the seething in your voice.
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I was just trying to make you laugh. I’m sorry I didn’t listen this week. I really am.” He spinned you around to make you face him. “I am sorry, and I'm sorry that egos the size of Texas were a part of it. Including making you straddle mine, as well. I can sympathize with you for not liking it. It wasn’t just a skill I magically had, and it was a skill I had to learn, and sharpen. So I'm extremely sorry I couldn’t be sympathetic before, when you needed me to be.” He apologized and cupped your face. You leaned into it. His touch is all that’s holding you together right now.
“Thank you, baby, I really appreciate it.” You playfully sighed. “Now can I get ready for bed?” He gave you a kiss and you went to get ready for a soak in the bathroom. He followed behind you.
“We’re just good now?” He asked. He felt like he should walk on eggshells.
“Yes, that’s how this works, we talk, someone apologizes and we move on. We’re fine, my darling. Thank you.” You say softly with a smile as you try to prepare yourself for a plunge into the tub.
“Really? Everything is okay? You're really okay?” He probed one last time to make sure.
“Yes, my love. That’s all I wanted. Plus, you 're wrong about one thing. I do like to straddle you.” You start to slowly take off your jacket and shorts, leaving you in your shirt and some underwear.
“No.” He says bluntly. You look at him, brows furrowed, wondering why he answered his own question, and his smile makes you chuckle. “No? What is there to ‘No.’ about, darling?” You wondered as you sat on the side of the tub and turned the faucet on.
“I meant, ‘No’,. But not about you straddling me, I believe you’re telling the truth. I just don’t think our time would be best spent taking a bath, my love.” He says as he moves to quickly turn off the faucet you’d just turned on.
You had become annoyed with him, now. “Stephen, I’ve been waiting all week to get home and take a ba-” He grabbed your face once more as he stood in front of your body.
He kissed you. Fiercely, intensely, passionately. You relax, no longer annoyed at him. Your body melted underneath his as he continued to allow his tongue to sloppily slip into your mouth at any given chance he’d get. His mouth was warm and wet, persuading you to not care about whatever he’d just done to piss you off.
You didn’t know where it came from. He lifted you up so that you were standing again. He manages to undress himself and remove the clothes you had left on your body with a quickness. He could feel your lack of strength to keep yourself upright anymore and he wrapped your arms around his neck. All you could do was keep kissing him until you both couldn’t breathe.
He takes hold of your thighs once he takes a deep breath, and picks you up. Your legs instinctively wrap around his waist, and your arms tighten around his neck . You’re now being held by Stephen with your forehead connected to his as he walks to the shower to turn it on. He lays you against the cold, marbled wall, and kisses you again. His lips envelop yours in another exceptional, face numbing kiss.
The water very quickly starts to run hotter and hotter over you two. It doesn’t bother you, if anything it makes you want him more. The steam that starts to build, the feeling of his body holding you up against a wall so you could do absolutely nothing but whatever he wanted. It sends a shock to your stomach in anticipation of what’s next. You couldn’t help yourself, your left hand traveled from being held behind his head, to resting against his chest as he started to nibble down the right side of your jaw. The sounds he could evoke out of you were music to his ears, and he wasn’t even inside of you yet. You grew needier to feel him.
“You’re breathing heavy, my love.” He whispered into your ear as you moaned out to his nibbles.
“Stephen-” You pleaded weakly. He just wanted to tease you. He wanted to drive you crazy.
“God, YN, your skin is perfect.” He continued to kiss you down your neck. He bit your neck harshly and it made you groan out loud. “What, baby?” He beams with a cocky smile.
“I… I want you.” You said breathlessly.
“What? I couldn’t hear you. What did you say, my love?” The smile that took over his face was dangerous.
“I want you.” You said as sternly as you could, given that your body had the same characteristics of a puddle right now, that wasn’t saying much. Stephen could understand you, though. You could feel it because his eyes had grown darker, his breathing had gotten deeper but sharper, his face had turned more animalistic. He wanted to make you feel good. Every nip, kiss and touch makes you jump and gasp.
Soon, Stephen’s lips had made their way down to your nipple, and with one of his hands he began to massage your breast. As he works his magic on you, Stephen began to think of everything he could do to you tonight, and he had to take a moment to think about what he would like to do with you first.
But you couldn’t think about the thoughts he might be having anymore. All you could think about was the immense pleasure you’d felt of his tongue warming your chest up. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t think about him just placing his fingertips on your most sensitive area. At this point, he knows that that is exactly what you were waiting for. He let go of your nipples and focused on your face.
“Why’d you stop?” You whined. He was far from over. He just wanted to look at your face as he dipped his hand down below to feel the slippery mess he’d gotten a head start at making the moment that he started kissing you over the tub. You looked shocked as his hand began to work. This was even more intense. You were like the main dish on the menu, and he was just tasting everything on his plate. He connected his forehead to yours as he moved his fingers along your folds and to tease the sensitive bundle of nerves above your entrance. Every time he moved his fingers, it made you groan or plead out loud in pleasure.
“Does it feel good, my love?” He asks. He’s leaving pecks on your cheeks as he draws a line to your gorgeous, panting mouth, and he can’t resist kissing you as you yelp and whine in pleasure. His eyes were wide as he watched you drown yourself in him, and he found it to be the perfect time to force his tongue into your mouth to keep your throat from going hoarse at the unexpected dip of his fingers into your core.
“Y-Yes…” You stuttered. Your face turned warm as the realization set in about what just happened, your voice became nothing but a bit of a squeak. Your face changed from relaxed and foggy to begging and pleading. The sensation of his thumb on your clit, and your g-spot being stimulated every time he flexes his middle and ring finger against the most sensitive part of your walls. It shook your entire body against the wall.
“Please! Please, Stephen!” You screamed out. He knew what you wanted, and he took his time before he gave it to you.
“No. You’ll wait.” The message sends shivers up your spine, his tone jolted something awake in you, and you feel fluttering in your lower abdomen. Something started to build. There’s a knot that you have to break. You pant hard. Your throat becomes too tired to try coherent words anymore, instead your moans, groans, yelps and squeaks turn into a jumble of sounds and catches in your throat.
“Such pretty noises, my sweet girl.” His fingers try to feel even deeper inside of you as he listens to your sinful, delightful noises. Your body gives up and shakes while a guttural wail escapes your lungs. You felt a complete wave of pleasure and vibration wash over your entire body.
He pulled his digits out of you. You cried out in protest as he brought the hand he used on you to the wall next to your head. His head began to hang lowly between his shoulder blades as he stared you down. “Why?” You pleaded for an answer.
“I didn’t tell you that you could cum, did I? You didn’t even ask, my love.” He growls. Your cheeks felt even hotter than the water that ran from the showerhead.
He let you down slowly, making sure your feet hit the ground before he let go of you completely.
“Only good girls get rewarded with pleasure.” He said into your ear. It sends a jolt like lighting up your spine. You shudder under his gaze as you prepare yourself for whatever else he has planned. He grabbed your shoulders, and he repositioned you both so that you were in opposite positions now.
“Stephen, please I-” He cupped his hand delicately on your face and shut you up with another kiss. The feeling of the water continues to ignite the wants you ached for in your core.
“Bad girls don’t get to speak unless spoken to.” He said as he pulled away from the kiss, seeing the airhead look you made when you begin to lose yourself under his touch. You kept your mouth shut by biting your lower lip. He looked at your lips and quickly scanned your body up and down with his heavy hand rested on your waist. “Get on your knees, my love.” He demands. You happily obliged, hoping this punishment would reward you with more.
“Yes, my darling.” You replied.
It wasn’t that he couldn’t fuck you up against the wall. In fact, he was more than advanced at it. He intentionally lifted you higher above his waist so he could tease you. All you could’ve felt at this point was the faint pokes of his member under your ass, otherwise, you would’ve sheathed his cock immediately as he settled you into his touch. He planned this. He planned to make you a writhing, frustrated mess.
You settled onto your knees, a platter served right in front of Stephen. You looked at his member, and then up at him. You waited for instructions.
“Are you waiting for an invitation, YN?” He questioned as he brought a hand to rest on your head. You gasp slightly, his words more than enough motivation for you.
Starting slowly, you enveloped the tip of his cock. He groans at the action. You swirl your tongue along the slit to collect the precum that had been slowly leaking out. It’s delicious. Then, you start to slide more of him into your mouth. He hissed as you tried to take as much of him as you could in your throat. “Fuck” He huffed. You couldn’t bottom out yet. He sat in your mouth without moving for a few seconds.
“Open your eyes, my angel.” He ordered, and you slowly bat them open, trying not to let any water in.
You couldn't describe the feeling of being so powerless beneath him. He loved the way you looked right now, mouth expanded with his cock, the water that falls on you both as you continue to try and take more of him in. You gagged a bit, and it creates a mess of saliva at his base.
After you got used to the feeling of him in your throat, you bobbed your head on him. He moaned loudly and leaned his head back, and then his entire body against the wall. You felt proud knowing you were the only person that could touch him and make him feel this way, so you laid a hand on his happy trail and closed your eyes. You continued to bob your head for him as his moans and grunts flooded the echoey bathroom.
“Your mouth is so good, YN. So… warm…” Stephen mutters through groans.
This went on for quite a while before he took a hold of your hair and pulled you off of his now glistening cock.
You marvel at the sight of it. It made you exhale and your chest began to tighten with excitement.
Stephen pulled you up into his embrace.
“You can’t be too tired, already, my love. I haven’t even gotten to paint your insides with my dick.”
You gasped and your knees buckled beneath you to his words faster than you could beg him to. He caught you by hooking his arm around your waist and pulling your chest into his.
“It’s okay, sweet girl. You don’t need to do anything, just let me.” He finished, breathing heavy, you could see the lust in his eyes, too tired to even mention it before he picked you back up. This time, he lined his cock up with your entrance, so when you instinctively wrap your legs around him, you inadvertently cause his thickness to glide in a little too quickly. It causes you to yelp in ecstasy. Stephen heard this sinful sound escape your lips and turned while walking with you perched on his dick to lay your upper back against the wall to his right. You were just a bundle of arms and legs that moved as he moved in this moment. His length began to move inside of you and you took your hands and cupped his face in pure bliss.
“Stephen, I missed you…” You breathed out against his lips. He groans at your words, and his pace quickens. You leaned your head in towards him to give him a kiss, and he accepted it greedily, biting your lip. You moaned at the gesture, and it made Stephen buck his hips harshly into your core. It makes you gasp and cry out, knowing that he is not about to slow down on any account.
“YN, You look so amazing like this. Wet, desperate, heaving. You’re doing such a good job taking it, my love. You feel so good around me.” He praises you. And with that, you start to unravel. You can feel yourself within reach of orgasm again. His hips snapped with every inhuman thrust. You could feel yourself clench around his member, not wanting him to stop.
You began to yelp and scream uncontrollably in Stephen’s grasp. His cock was pounding you at such an intense rate, you could barely hold yourself together.
“Good girl, holding it for me.” He whispered.
“Fuck.” You groaned. “Please. Please, just let me.” You begged.
He chuckled lightly as he beams at the sight of your impending closeness.
“I’m sorry, my love. I can’t understand you. Let you do what?”
“Let me cum! Please! Please!” Your eyes
“Cum, my love.” He allowed it. Your orgasm immediately washed over you. A string of Stephen’s name and a few curse words escape your lips as you clench hard around his member, and come undone between him and the wall, leaving you a limp mess. Stephen continues to chase his high, and as his thrusts became sloppy right before you reached yours, you suspected him to be close as well. You watched him use your cunt as a way to relieve himself. It was a gorgeous sight. His eyes were closed shut, his mouth was parted open slightly, and his grunts and moans are an absolute melody to your ears.
You can see and feel the moment where he reached his high. His eyes widened, showing the shock on his face as his seed fills you up. You kissed him once again, and revelled in the feeling of being full of his cum. You two sat there for a minute, and he slowly pulled out of you, a sight he drools at as his seed flows out. He then brought you slowly back to your feet.
“I could watch that happen over and over again, my love. Now come here, let me wash you up.” He breathed heavily as he pulled your short stature into his chest for a hug. You take short breaths as his hands explore and wash your body. You both washed up the best you could in your tired states, the definition of taking a shower meant something completely different to the both of you now.
“I want to go to sleep,” You sighed. “Let’s go lay our heads on our pillows, please.” You suggested.
“I don’t think I could come up with a better idea.” He smiles. His soft lips find yours once again.
He picked you up bridal style, and walked out of the bathroom to place you on the bed comfortably. Your body sinks into the mattress, the softness of the covers hits your skin and you relax. Stephen makes his way around the bed to climb in with you. He invites you to nestle up to his right side with his arm around you. Your legs intertwined together as you both settled for sleep.
“Goodnight, my love. Sweet dreams.” He whispers into the apex of your head and gives it a kiss. His fingers traced more shapes and lines into your skin to help lull you to sleep.
“Goodnight, my darling. I’ll see you in the morning.”
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖
🥰🥰🥰 ahhhh thank you em!!
far from the world that I made, my affectionately nick-named "Rebels S5". Sabine and Eli have to team up to go find Ezra and Thrawn -- it's not so much a "search for Ezra" fic as it is a story about two people learning how to heal when they've never been given the proper chance to realize the capacity of their wounds.
The Phoenix Suite, holds a special place because it is the first Star Wars fic that I wrote, and the first that I wrote that got turned into a podfic. Kallus gets stuck in a time-loop at the conclusion of Rebels S3, and has to relive the events of "Zero Hour" until he figures out how to break the loop. Also, Kallus can have little a force sensitivity, as a treat.
inside every open eye, might be cheating, because it's a series, but I love every fic within it very much. Fantasy AU for The Magnus Archives, in which Jon goes missing in an attempt to perform a ritual for the Beholding, and so Sasha has to return to the Archives and take over his role in order to hold everything together. Fics within are "watching the waiting" (a Georgie/Melanie side-story about how they get involved), "tiny cracks of light" (the main fic), "when your seams have come unknitted" (Jon rescuing Martin from the Lonely), and "hollow me out" (Gerry prequel, in which he realizes there is a prophecy about him in the archives)
it's only forever, which was an incredibly silly conceit in which Kaite and I were talking about "what if Gerry Keay in tight pants" but then it turned into a Labyrinth AU for The Magnus Archives. I wrote it in two weeks in an absolute whirlwind and I had a lot of fun doing it, and it was also me finally learning how to say "fuck it I don't have to explain everything in minute detail I'm allowed to handwave things" which, like, was a relief. Anyway, this one goes out to the JonGerryMartin nation, who all kept reblogging my post of "what if Gerry in tight pants" and not actually interacting with my fic when I posted it. This one is for you stop interacting with that post.
My Place to Land, my absolute beloved, in which I wrote a novel for the rare-pair I made up for "Twilight Mirage" season of Friends at the Table. Echo is arrested while on a job, and is given the choice to serve a term in the guard, or to become the last remaining Excerpt's bodyguard. They thought being a bodyguard would be easy, but lmao politics, and also, Love? I was full up on my bullshit, and I still love this fic with my whole heart. Also my friends were very kind and drew me a lot of fanart for it that fills me with joy.
Honorable mention, since it's not finished, is my "regency magical spies" au for Ace Attorney. I've written 1/3 of it (49k) before I had to stop because I got really burned out. But now I'm getting back into it and think I might be able to pick it back up later this year. I absolutely LOVE the fic and the plot and just, everything about it. I have written a sequel fic for Klapollo Minibang which can be read without the main fic, but I am very eager to actually finish the main fic eventually.
Just also a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who has read my fics and continues to do so! It means a lot to me, and I'm so happy that I can write things that you enjoy!
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Cross Your Heart Chapter 17 live blog/initial thoughts
@karkalicious769 I've been so excited for this chapter I went out and bought snacks to really make it a special reading experience. I can't believe we're finally gonna figure out what's going on!!!
I'm tired of tumblr's image limit, so instead of screenshots I'll just copy-paste whatever quotes I'm reacting to. And I'm on mobile, so I can't do line-breaks only paragraph breaks RIP
Anyways without further ado...
The image of Rook in Max's old 70s clothes is delightful and I need fanart stat! at least in my mind it's 70s, don't ruin this for me dfghgdd
"a tiny part of Rook was thrilled by his lack of respect today." THAT’S MY BOY!!! He's really grown as a character during this fic and it shines through in little things like this<3
"Even his eyes were the wrong shade of green." Yes yes we get it Blonko, you're madly in love with Ben and have memorized every detail of his face xD
"Rook certainly could think of worse ways to spend eternity. He was glad that he was sharing it with Ben, even if only one of them would get to remember."
"When Ben made no move to take the origami rose, Rook leaned forward a few inches more to tuck it behind his ear. Without his armor and gloves on, he could feel Ben's hair against his fur and had to resist the urge to stroke his jaw." When I tell you I had to stop myself from squeeing here. Oh man.
"Ben turned pink, eyes widening at the gesture as Rook's intentions sank in. His lips formed a silent "oh" HE HAD AN 'OH' MOMENT AAAAA!!! Good or bad, is there anything more satisfying than Oh Moments? no. no there is not
"Rook took a step back, even though he wanted to be closer." Excuse me miss?? How do you make the simple act of moving out of the way give me feels????
Paradox's dialogue is on point, I am 100% reading it in his voice!! And by that I don't mean the rest of the dialogue is not on point ofc, it's all great, sfjjhfdk
"though Rook doubted that the man actually had a doctorate" get his ass
""At first, I wasn't planning to speak to anyone at all," Paradox admitted. "I was simply going to end this timeline and move on. But you're close to Ben— closer than you should be, even— and I must confess to a certain level of, well… personal curiosity." For all the meta talk about how Rook isn't cosmically significant and how this timeloop has nothing to with him... it's oddly satisfying to know he's the reason the loop hasn't been ended yet. Even if the reason is less "your existence matters" and more "your existence is curious". Also, Paradox being able to just erase entire timelines is terrifying and I love him existing as some kind of eldritch being who views people as ants.
NO WATCH BEN CAMEO AAAA
"To demonstrate, Paradox snapped off the end of one branch. Everything that came before still existed, but there was nothing in the future, and there never would be again. Rook tried to imagine time just stopping and couldn't." This makes so much sense!! I feel silly for not catching on earlier, but then again it's been a while since I watched those episodes :3 But god, this is a really good explanation and suddenly the Eternity ending (or what I assume it revolves around) seems disturbingly likely o.o
""No, Ben can't be dead. He isn't supposed to die. Why—?"" THE CONTRACTION, I'M-
"Rook stared into Paradox's eyes and saw the endless march into infinity. He saw nothing at all." For some reason this really drives home how... idk, I keep repeating myself, but I really have no better word for it. Paradox is a terrifying eldritch creature. I imagine his eyes, matte and empty like shark eyes now. Dreadful.
"He was seconds away from launching himself forward and decking Paradox in the face." He should've :/
I always get a little bit of second hand embarassment when a character bares their soul like this, but it is a really good speech. However much I may dunk on Ben, Rook is right, he really is just a good person who does good things. And who can live up to something as simple as that?
And then the ending. If you hadn't been generous enough to share the date for tge next chapter I might drive myself mad with that "we need to talk" xD
Gah, I loved this chapter!!! So satisfying in so many ways :DDD
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Title: Zombie Note Author: @izaori For: @llawlietofficial Pairings/Characters: Light Yagami, Ryuk, L, Matsuda, mentions of other characters Rating/Warnings: Teen, nongraphic violence, potentially unsettling descriptions of zombies (the effects of death on the human body are interesting, right? Now make that corpse jiggle) Prompt: Light didn’t read the fine print on the death note and now everyone he killed using it has turned into a zombie Author’s notes: Interesting idea! I wanted to explore Japanese folklore in either the fanart you requested or fanfic but I quickly discovered that these ideas are popular because they are specifically western. That being said, I tried to incorporate a couple cultural things since Death Note is so Japanese culture heavy, and I figured it would make sense if something like a “zombie note” happened would have something related, too. Then I got wrapped up in the details… I hope you like reading. It’s much more than 750 words. Thanks for the fun idea! It was a great last prompt to go out on! I wanted to do the fanart but it just wasn’t coming out right. Bonus sketch at the bottom based on those requests, though. Mods feel free to ditch that if you want just the fanfic.
—————————–
There’s a saying that life doesn’t always go as planned. Light Yagami, top student in the country and owner of a death note, knows this very well. He’s quickly learned that sometimes death doesn’t go as planned, either.
With someone more average, less motivated, maybe even scared and cowardly, there could have been minimal damage. An incident or two at most, enough to be written off as something silly like someone eating bath salts. Unfortunately for Light, and for people around the world, the young man had written names of hundreds if not thousands of criminals in the span of a week, along with scheduling many more to die that he cannot reverse. Death cannot be erased.
News of the first revival popped up in Japan, of course. Light had tried to space out the deaths enough that authorities could keep up with the stream of dead bodies, but there was bound to be a build up at first as society gets adjusted to a new, less crime ridden world. In a morgue somewhere, apparently one of the first criminals he had killed as a test subject got up from the table. The previously dead man scared the undertaker out of his mind, reaching out for him, clearly wanting to take a bite–!
It really was a stroke of luck that the undertaker had already sewn the corpse’s mouth shut using wire. After getting a quick yet confused grasp on the situation, the undertaker took the nearby fire extinguisher and made the corpse still once more.
News got out fast across the world. Dead bodies coming back to life. Unfortunately, not many people were nearly as lucky as the undertaker. Those killed by the zombies were turned into zombies themselves so long as they were salvageable. The very smallest relief is that the zombies seemed to ignore small children.
Light paces around his room, death note on his desk, untouched. It was obvious to him from the first occurrence but even the news is broadcasting what everyone is thinking now. Kira has created zombies. Any of the praise he had previously is gone, replaced with fear and disgust. Only a select few loons are absurd enough to support someone turning criminals into zombies! A few minutes pass, and Ryuk laughs, breaking the tense silence.
“This is funny to you, Ryuk?” Light asks, tone sharp. He stops in his tracks, glare icy.
Ryuk stares at him, unblinking. Can a shinigami even blink? “Very,” Ryuk states, “since I thought you read all the rules.”
“None of the rules say anything about zombies!”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Light.” Ryuk floats over, snickering to himself, and flips open the death note. He points to a seemingly blank page on the back. Upon closer inspection, in a different more similarly colored ink, there is a rule that clearly states that humans written in the death note by another human that have died will come back as zombies after 72 hours from their time of death, provided their body is intact enough to be reanimated. Not only that, but a second rule states that these reanimated humans are able to do the same to other humans with the same restrictions.
Light can’t help but gawk at the hard to notice rules. He had been so careful to read over the rules before, but had missed this. Shameful trickery. Ryuk laughs again, watching the gears turn in Light’s head. These people are already dead, the death note can’t kill them again. Even if it could, they’d simply be zombies another time over.
~
Meanwhile, government officials that had already been pointing fingers about conspiracies on the deaths of criminals across the globe are now making much more serious accusations. This has now escalated from planned death to some kind of biowarfare, involving what is assumed to be a state of not actual death followed by this zombified state. There are arguments, with some people insisting that these are genuine zombies, not flukes. These people would be right.
L sits in solitude, listening through his computer to the chaos in Interpol. This Kira person, was this their intention all along? It’s not the feeling L had first gotten from them, but it had also only been a week since the Kira murders started. For all he knew, Kira could have planned this from the beginning. L feels rather confident that this was not, in fact, Kira’s goal, for if he was Kira and wanted to bring around the death of many people to become zombies, he wouldn’t have picked criminals. There would have been some overlap with criminals for sure, but just criminals? Not a chance.
Watari brings in L over the conference call, and L lays down the law. To prevent as much further tragedy as possible, no more reporting crime as much as possible. In fact, try to keep everything on paper. On the possibility that these aren’t genuine zombies, a cure for this zombified state should be researched. Furthermore, the finger pointing needs to stop. No country would have willingly inflicted this upon themselves along with the rest of the world. It goes on similarly with L heading to Japan.
~
Just how many criminals did Light already sentence to death? Pages upon pages, names and names, all over the world criminals continue to die. All over the world, corpses begin to reanimate. In more fortunate, more savvy places, people have already begun cremating all the corpses to circumvent the problem. It’s hard for a zombie to happen if it’s a pile of ash. Some places, however, are already under total lockdown. Mass zombie infestations turning people left and right.
Light pours over ideas, drilling Ryuk for answers, but Ryuk doesn’t give. He laughs, giving vague responses and going on about how interesting humans can be in a crisis. Light has had to completely halt his plans in cleansing the earth of criminals. By the sound of it, he won’t be able to continue his plans at all. The death note was just a farce, a false hope. Something designed to be dangled in front of his face like bait that he took like a starving fish.
“If I’m the one who created these zombies, shouldn’t I be able to control them? Since I’m able to control the actions of people before their death, to an extent.”
“No,” Ryuk laughs, “You can’t control a thing. This isn’t about you, Light. The power isn’t yours. You’re just using it.”
Of course. To a shinigami, to Ryuk, this is all just a funny game. Light feels burned by something he didn’t fully understand the scope of to begin with. It truly wasn’t his power, but he felt it was given to him with purpose. Bestowed upon him by some divine intervention because he is able to sway fate with a written name.
~
Zombies. Walking the streets, drudging, semi-intelligent despite being functionally brain dead. Varying degrees of rotted bodies. It’s funny and unfortunate, really, because one would think that a lockdown because of an actual zombie outbreak would mean people would stay inside as much as possible. That’s not the case.
“The government can’t take away my freedom!”
“The zombies are misunderstood!”
“There are no zombies!”
An actual zombie apocalypse could be in the works and there are people denying the existence of the zombies. Some people believe the zombies are real but straight up don’t care whatsoever. Then there are the people who think of the zombies in almost an animalistic sense, thinking that since they were once human they shouldn’t be killed again even though they are actively trying to eat at and therefore turn more humans.
It’s impressive. It makes Light want to double down and get rid of criminals more, give people a reason to think more clearly, but the more he tries to create that ideal world the more damage he’ll do.
L’s solution is simple, after an autopsy. Or vivisection, depending on how one would argue the inspection. The zombies are just animated corpses. It isn’t a disease. It isn’t a mass case of doctors and undertakers around the world collectively thinking all these bodies are corpses. Something impossibly otherworldly must be happening right here, right now. A force beyond their mortal comprehension is making these corpses come back.
“Kill them again,” L says bluntly, “Destroy them. If it’s a zombie, it’s already dead.”
“Ryuzaki, what about their families! Surely they wouldn’t want their loved ones being destroyed!” Somebody argues with L, of course. “What would you do if Watari became a zombie?!”
L puts a finger on his lip, dragging it down. His eyes go to the ceiling. “Unfortunately, I’d have to kill Watari. If the situation was reversed, he would need to do the same. Regardless, there is no saving them. The zombies exist only to destroy, so we must destroy them.”
Watari doesn’t respond, but what L said is true. He doesn’t want to think about it since he considers L to be his son, but if something were to happen that led L to become a zombie, he would want to be the one to put L down. He’d be much more upset if someone else did it.
~
Gun shots. Bats. Sledgehammers. People running over zombies with their cars. Some people have taken this as an excuse to let out their violent urges. Light sees this on the news and feels his blood boil. Something he wanted to prevent, senseless violence, has sprung up even more because of this damned note. Telling Ryuk to take it back is pointless. The damage is done. What would happen, though, if Light held onto it without using it? Would Ryuk kill him?
Light glares at the shinigami. “You said I was the first human you’ve seen write this many names so fast. That implies other humans have had a death note. Wouldn’t somebody have noticed a zombie before?”
“Who knows?” Ryuk floats over to the window, looking out at the abnormally empty street. “Maybe it’s been forgotten.”
There’s nothing Light can do to reverse the chaos, nothing he can do to end it. Fine, then. The worst have the worst have already been written, many other well-known and otherwise publicly known criminals have already been written. More zombies are bound to appear, but this is it. On a regular piece of notebook paper, Light writes himself a note explaining the situation, knowing he won’t necessarily believe it when he reads it.
“The death note is worthless to me now. If this is its purpose, I don’t want it. Take it back!”
“I’ve had a lot more fun than I expected already.” Ryuk laughs, grabbing the death note away from Light. “Too bad. I wanted to eat more of your apples. They’re so… juicy.”
“Leave already.”
~
Having excellent marksmanship, Matsuda is part of the force assigned to patrol. It’s not his favorite thing in the world, in fact, he’s a little scared of the zombies. Too bad for him his skills are simply too much to pass up on in a time like this. He’s got not just one, but two guns locked and loaded, ready to go. It’s unusual for him to have even one on him most of the time, but the circumstances are grim.
Think on the bright side, Matsuda. According to sources around the world, the only new zombies popping up are ones being turned by already existing zombies, which are dwindling. He’s already taken down a couple. It’s unnerving. Most of them look almost like they could be okay if they put on a little weight, got a little color. Initially, Matsuda was surprised that rigor mortis let them move at all, but was quickly informed by an irritated Aizawa that at most rigor mortis lasts up to 84 hours. Then Matsuda felt grossed out by the idea that the zombies might be overly squishy. That idea was quickly stamped out, as the zombies are probably not squishy at all due to dehydration. Would they even really have blood? Probably, right? The one he shot had some blood.
What disturbed Matsuda even more was that when he went to check the body, taking hold of the hand, the skin came clean off like a glove. Admittedly, it made him sick. None of the sighted zombies have looked particularly bloated, though, which is a positive for him. Matsuda wasn’t sure what he would do if they smelled any worse than this.
Smelled. Can they smell? Matsuda was lost in thought, wondering how the zombies managed to find their way around, when he was interrupted by his earpiece.
“Focus, Matsuda.”
“Sorry, Ryuzaki!”
He taps something on a device that lets a cleanup team know the location of the zombie before moving along, wondering again about a zombie’s senses. Depending on how they died, their eyes might be all dried up, so surely, they couldn’t rely on vision. Maybe hearing is the way to go unless they died already deaf. Then Matsuda remembered that these zombies aren’t actually a result of an ailment. Not the original ones at least. The ones turned after the fact were declared uncurable as well, and Matsuda had his doubts, but the human body can only take so much decay before it’s irreversible.
Another shot rings out. Matsuda means business.
~
Light sits at the dinner table with his family, discussing the zombie topic. Light now has no memories of ever having owned or used the death note, and his brain has filled in the gaps for him. His dad insists that they all continue to remain in lockdown, that he can make the runs himself if they absolutely need anything from the market. Light encourages his dad and offers assistance. Why wouldn’t he?
Sayu and Sahicko have a brief argument that ends with Soichiro telling Sayu to respect her mother. Light smiles. For some reason, he was beginning to miss this.
~
By the time the zombies are cleared up, L is unsatisfied. He was never able to pinpoint who or what exactly caused this out break. Many people try to tell him it was a freak accident, but he knows better. Even if it was an accident, it was no accident. L wanted to know so badly who the face behind the operation was. He clenches his fist and bangs it on the table.
“Kira…” Yes, whoever Kira was, if they’re still out there, might have been killed by their own creation. What a twist of fate. L decides for his own sanity that Kira is still alive, but he doesn’t press the subject. How could he? Kira is seemingly no longer active, and the zombie situation has been solved. If something like this ever happens again, L will be ready to track down and find Kira.
~
#fanfiction#death note#submission#light yagami#l lawliet#touta matsuda#ryuk#shinigami#ratings: teen#izaori#llawlietofficial#Near's Bday Finale 2k21
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2020 has been a weird fucking year, to put it mildly. There have been a lot of ups and downs, and with New Year’s Eve and the start of 2021 upon us, focusing on the ~positive~ seemed like a better way to end the year, and hopefully start 2021 feeling inspired and proud for overcoming this horrendous year.
For many people, it was difficult--even impossible--to get anything done this year (myself included), and that’s okay! But if you were able to make progress on writing projects, even if it was just one or even if it was just part of one, you should celebrate that! I wish I’d thought of this sooner and organized it better, but regardless I wanted to celebrate my own accomplishments with regards to my writing, and encourage others to do the same! I was going to tag people, but I’m not sure with it being 2 hours til midnight for me if that would feel like putting too much pressure on others, so if you want to do this too please do!
This wrap up is honestly just a self-indulgent look back on the works I’ve made and what I learned/gained from each, maybe what I don’t like about them, some totaling on what I did, and some resolutions for the next year. It’s silly, but I think it’s kinda fun and if you missed any of the things I have posted this year, you’ll find them here!
2020 Fic Wrap Up:
Kado: Parts II+III (COMPLETED)
Kado was started in September of 2019 for the @puregaalee summer event. This was a last minute thing that I started the day the prompt was due and managed to write the first part in about 6 hours while sitting in a cafe--remember that? Sitting in cafes? Man, I miss that. I hadn’t anticipated working on Kado, but I decided that I was going to finish it this year, and I’m honestly amazed that I did. This fic is sweet and fun, and surprisingly popular, though it isn’t my favorite of my works. However, it is a light, fluffy little romcom modern AU, and I learned a lot with it because despite my struggles with modern AUs and their horrible lack of political intrigue, this fic forced me to work within set parameters. I was only writing a 3 part story, and each part could only be 9 scenes long. For those unfamiliar, kado is another term for Ikebana, and in Ikebana there are specific elements to follow. Certain styles will only use three branches, some will use nine. So my goal was for the structural elements of the fic to mimic Ikebana. In doing this, I was able to do something I don’t usually do, which is keep this story more concise.
I’m still not sure how I personally feel about the ending, but I think endings are always a struggle, especially with something like this.
Gate of Dreaming (COMPLETED)
This is a fic that I started last year, then left to sit untouched with only 2k words. Getting back into it was a bit difficult because I was writing something very different from my usual: stream of consciousness. This fic was very experimental for me not only because of the stream of consciousness, but also because of the changing tenses. This was another exercise--unexpected though it was--in brevity. With this particular story, it couldn’t be dragged on and on, because--despite the 100 year time span--the events take place within the Infinite Tsukuyomi. This was also the first time I’d worked from Lee’s PoV in quite some time, so that was fun because I do enjoy writing him, but usually write from Gaara’s PoV. This is definitely one of my favorites from this year, and since it had been sitting on the back burner for so long, I’m so excited that I could finally get it done.
Another one where the ending really wasn’t easy to achieve, but I did end up liking it more than I expected, and I think the best thing is that it’s open-ended which leaves room for others to guess at what the future holds.
It Eats Your Heart (WIP)
This was an unexpected fic for me in every way imaginable. Starting another fic? Making another modern AU? Tackling the horror genre? None of those were things I’d planned to do this year, but lo and behold, that’s just what I did. I really enjoy a good bit of horror, but it is NOT an easy genre to work within, and this fic has definitely been a push for me. But with it being such a push, the payoff is far more. Stepping out of my comfort zone is something I like doing, but I think this is the biggest step outside of that and I am so incredibly proud of how that first chapter turned out because of it. I was really able to surprise myself with this fic, and I am hoping to update the next chapter early on in the year.
Absolution (WIP)
This fic is probably the second oldest idea/longest unpublished fic I currently have up. Formerly a much longer title, the idea for this fic came to me in May of 2017 when a friend, @brianadoesotherjunk / @brianadoesart, posted a piece of GaaLee fanart that sparked inspiration. The fic took off, morphed into something much bigger than the one scene depicted by the art, and now 3 years later, the first part is up. Initially, this was meant to be a long shot, but after sitting with this for so long, I realized that I needed to split it up into 9 parts, which allowed me to use this for GaaLee bingo and finally publish it. Much of the first part was already written before this year, but I’d been quite stuck on it until now. This is actually probably one of my favorite GaaLee concepts to date. I remember back in the day, there weren’t a lot of different takes on getting Lee to Suna so he and Gaara could fall in love, so (at the risk of sounding cocky) I think that Lee as a nanny is rather inspired. I think with this fic, I pushed myself the hardest to get past the hurdle of writer’s block and accepted that publishing is probably the best way to motivate myself to keep going. The feedback for this fic has been really motivating, so I think I’m probably right about that.
I do think there are some parts in the middle or towards the end that could maybe use some tightening up, but I’m just happy to finally have this fic out in the world.
The Art of Love: Chapter 11 (WIP)
TAoL is such a ridiculous labor of love. The chapters for this fic are novellas in and of themselves, so each time I update it takes a lot of work to get them out. This fic is one of those like magnum opus type fics. I have put so much into it, and I’m honestly amazed that it’s only been up for 3 years because I’m approaching the halfway mark on it, and I don’t think I expected to be there by now. Despite being able to churn out 30k chapters, I have a hard time focusing on one thing and I often struggle with mental health related writer’s block, so big works are always sort of sporadic in their updates.
This particular update of TAoL was definitely one of my favorites though. Initially, I didn’t plan to go the sort of dark fantasy rout that I did with Shikamaru, but I actually really love what I’ve done with him, though I worry others won’t be as into it or that the execution isn’t quite there. One thing I would like to work on with future chapters of TAoL, however, is maybe pairing things down a bit--though I’m not sure that’ll always be possible. The next chapter is a Naruto PoV chapter, though, so I expect that one to be a MUCH shorter chapter than the last three and should be able to get it out sometime next year.
Before I could publish this chapter, however, I did go through and make some big changes, which is something I often struggle with because of such long breaks in between working on certain projects. I will say, though, that TAoL continues to push me to greater heights as a writer, and I look forward to actually finishing this fic someday.
Thirteen Strokes: 1 + 2 (WIP)
Another unexpected fic this year, however, this one was actually an idea for about a year, unlike IEYH. This fic has really given me a lot of perspective on my own writing and world building, and has inspired me to sit down and really start committing the things I’ve developed to paper to create a cohesive view of Suna, Wind, and the shinobi world. This fic is meant to be a Romance. Like just full on Romance. I write a lot of tragedy and focus on a lot of darker themes in my writing, so while I don’t think of this as stepping outside of my comfort zone, it is very different from my usual, and a really nice change of pace. I think, in all honesty, it is one of my best works, and I do hope I can continue to deliver on the remaining 11 parts of this story.
if this were the last i felt you breathing (COMPLETED)
Ugh. This fic has been my enemy for 2 long years. I signed up for a Secret Santa exchange, and of course, I regretted doing it when I found that I was not motivated and, after the month of October where I was churning out fic after fic for GaaLee Bingo, that I was massively burned out. I wasn’t able to think past writer’s block, and so I ended up settling on dusting off an old, unfinished piece for my giftee, and I hope they can forgive me for not coming up with something brand new for them.
This fic was a struggle. Working so closely with the canon--following the Rescue Kazekage Arc as closely as I did for this fic--made this a much bigger challenge and this fic sat and sat and sat for two years, untouched and incomplete. I’m still not sure how I feel about it. I know it’s not my best work, but I am glad that this fic isn’t hanging over my head and that I was able to deliver something to my secret santa giftee.
My goal with this fic was to rewrite this particular arc from Lee’s PoV to give more depth to the arc and shift the emotional core of it away from Naruto. Naruto as a character has a lot of flaws that never get addressed, and one of the things that is consistently frustrating for me is the way the emotional core of the series rests on him in unrealistic and often superficial ways. Naruto hasn’t spoken to Gaara in three years, but I’m supposed to believe he’s this affected by Gaara’s kidnapping? Temari and Kankuro are right there! Lee is right there! I wanted to see that, so that’s what I set out to do, and ultimately I don’t think I fully succeeded, but I tried. I guess not everything can be a resounding success
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This year I managed to do a lot more than I realized. New works, updates, and COMPLETED pieces?! I never would have thought, but staying home gave me more free time, and when I was too broke to work on costumes, writing fanfiction was something free I could do.
Total new works: 5 Total updates: 9 Total completed works: 3 Total words this year: 143,587
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I have a lot of goals for the coming year, and I know I won’t make all of them, but that won’t stop me from trying.
2021 Writing Resolutions:
Reach 1million words (+238,073 words)
Finish IEYH
Finish Pearl-Filled Lungs
Update TAoL (Chapter 12 and 13)
Update Absolution
Update 13S
Update Find Me (Chapter 6)
Start the Ballad of the Dragon and the Phoenix
Start editing Alliance
Return to working on Honor Bound
Return to working on We Need Not Be Yellow Tulips
#naruto fanfiction#gaalee#naruto#shippuden#gaara#rock lee#fanfiction 2020 wrap up#fanfic year in review
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The Case of the Heart in Armor: Part Four
{I apologize again that this story keeps taking longer than I anticipate to update. This particular segment keep growing, and my inspiration and ideas for how to end this one keep ebbing and flowing unpredictably. Anyway, I’ll let you get to it rather than continuing to ramble. Enjoy!}
{This fic was eventually begun as part of the first @csrolereversal event back in the fall, and inspired by this lovely fanart by @courtorderedcake.}
Summary: Killian “Holmes” Jones is rarely surprised or shocked anymore, but that all changes when he meets one very stubborn - and very beautiful - pickpocket, and trouble brews in the distance, hidden by the London fog…
Previous Chapters: Part One Part Two Part Three
“The Case of the Heart in Armor”
by: @snowbellewells
Part Four
It didn’t take long for Killian Jones and Emma Nolan to make their way back through the darkly clouded London streets to reach her home again. Not much was said, and Killian felt this perplexing young woman stealing glances over at him, anxious, ill at ease, and almost embarrassed, if he had to guess - though he couldn’t fathom why. True, they did not know each other well, but they were on the same side. If the older sibling whom she clearly looked up to trusted him, surely she knew she was safe with him, even on this strangely deserted nighttime street unchaperoned. For a second, Jones almost chuckled to himself at the mental image of how she might react to the idea of needing a chaperone at all.
Shaking his head, Killian refocused and stole a quick glance of his own. Though the still-obscuring fog made it hard to see clearly, Ms. Nolan was indeed blushing and fidgeting, wringing her hands together, even as she kept brisk pace with him easily. What had her so abashed? There was no need for her to feel foolish in the slightest; she had thought she was being pursued in a city where a violent killer was on the loose. That was enough to shake even the stoutest of constitutions. She was not made of stone - nor did he expect her to be.
“This is me,” Emma interrupted his inner musings abruptly. She had stopped at a set of steps up into a sturdy brick apartment building, gesturing to indicate they had reached her dwelling.
“Brilliant, Lass,” Jones nodded, acknowledging her words and turning to face her on the sidewalk.
As uncomfortable as she had appeared on their journey, he had fully expected her to blurt out a goodbye and flee up the stairs to the door, but instead Emma shuffled her feet as if reluctant to leave. As fractious as their previous encounters had been, sparking into fire that poked and prodded at his own hard exterior, mocking, infuriating, and then stirring his blood, Killian didn’t know what to expect from her hesitation, but found he wanted her to stay as well.
Finally, she raised those bright green eyes up to face him, piercing him with the strength of her gaze, and spoke seriously. “There was something out there - before I ran into you, Mr. Jones. I gather you didn’t see it, but I was not imagining things. Nor was it some silly, flighty little fancy or whatever you might be assuming.” She squared her shoulders as she drew a quick breath, but she jutted her chin out with determination and pressed on before he could speak in reply. “You wouldn’t be the first to try to dismiss me as some irrational female, but I am not backing down. S-something was out there, and I - “
There Killian had to break in, reaching out to catch her forearm gently as she began to wave her hands wildly with her emphatic speech. “Wait, wait… hold on a second,” he tried, pulling back his hand once again when he realized after stilling her swinging gesticulations that though her voice was fierce and her stance undaunted, he could feel her slight frame trembling when he touched her. She’d had quite a fright and been plowing ahead ever since, trying not to appear as shaken as she must have been. “I didn’t doubt you at all. True, I did not see anything, but the fog was dense and I was coming from another direction, for one thing. For another, one does not work in unraveling mysteries for as long I have without realizing that things are not always as they appear.”
Emma didn’t back down, didn’t blink, yet she seemed to relax somehow. A measure of the tension between them released as she seemed to exhale at last - the tiniest bit of her guard retreating. “You...you believe me?” she finally asked, her voice much softer, almost dazed by his assertion; a definite shift from the sharp antagonism in her voice not long ago.
He nodded slightly, holding her gaze in an effort to broadcast his sincerity. “I promise you, Miss Nolan. I am not trying to discredit you.”
She gave a brief, curt nod, her adorably pert little chin bobbing sharply as she accepted his word without further argument. A tiny part of him wanted to celebrate - even laugh aloud - at the measuring way her eyes sparked, even narrowed in concentration as they were, but he held his reaction in, knowing that would undo whatever truce he had managed to reach with her. “Fine. I’ll choose to take you at your word,” she managed, holding out a hand to shake his before turning to climb the first step up to the door of her building. Then she swung around to face him again abruptly. “Oh, and Jones?” she added, with much less force. “Thank you… for showing up when you did.”
At that, Killian did have to let one corner of his mouth tick up into a pleased half-smile. Simply and definitely, he replied, “Anytime, Lass. Anytime.”
Once up the stairs and at the door in her own apartment, Emma swiftly crossed her small living room to peer out the window and down into the London street below. She didn’t want to admit why she was doing so, but it was dark and no one was going to know about it, so she let a smile of her own stretch across her lips as she got one last quick look at Killian ‘Holmes’ Jones’ lean, graceful figure before he disappeared around a corner and out of her sight. Shaking her head, Emma continued to gaze down on the foggy grey landscape below, the streetlamp lights with hazy halos around them drawing her eye once the antagonistic but attractive detective had left her field of vision. It wasn’t something she was ready to admit out loud, or to anyone else, but she had misread the maddening man. Judging from their first encounter when - yes, admittedly, she had picked his pocket; he just wasn’t meant to notice it - and their second when he’d deliberately provoked and accused her in David’s office, she had been sure he would mock her for seeing things and jumping at shadows.
Instead, he had shown up in the very moment she’d been sure she was about to be caught by some monstrous creature, steadying her, seeing her safely home, and even professing to believe her. It was pleasantly unexpected, and she wasn’t used to people surprising her positively, exceeding her expectations and first impressions. The enigmatic, dark and clever gentleman had stirred something warm and unfamiliar loose in her chest, and she had to admit as she finally closed her blinds and turned to ready herself for bed, that it was more than a little bit thrilling.
The previous fear and unease had almost evaporated from her thoughts after their conversation - and now that she was home and had some distance from the chase and panic she’d experienced. Letting her hair down and shimmying out of her skirt and blouse into her more comfortable silky shift, Emma sat on her bed to remove her buttoned and high-heeled ankle boots, letting out a deep breath to be free of her constricting clothes and the pins jabbing her scalp as they held her updo in place. Running a hand through the loosened waves of her hair, she already felt her eyelids growing heavy; sleep tugging at her after all that had gone on that day and her adrenaline flagging.
She was sleepy enough that she failed see creeping wisps of that same threatening fog slipping beneath the doorframe and around the cracks of the windowpane. Soundless, unnoticed, and gathering without her knowledge as Emma lay down, eyes still closed and lights turned out, leaving her surrounded and yet completely unaware. The smoky fingers slid across the floor, up the bedposts and nearer to her unguarded form as if possessing human purpose. The strange fog silently covered her and slid into her mouth and nose, assuring that her sleep was preternaturally sound. And lost to whatever else might sneak into the room with her, sinister intentions unimpeded.
~~~~~~~~~~***
Not knowing what to do with himself after he left the plucky waif who equally consternated and beguiled him, Killian had been too unsettled to simply head back to his own home and bed. He was troubled by the fact that he hadn’t seen whatever horror had been after Emma Nolan, and he didn’t understand how that could be possible when he staked his name on seeing what most others missed. Yet, he didn’t make the mistake of thinking she had dreamed up some pretend monster in an attention-seeking imagination or a nervous temperament. Clearly, she had been dismissed more than enough times to assume that was what he would do, but he already had enough of an impression of her character to know that Miss Nolan was sharp, brassy, and largely undaunted - unless what she faced was a genuine cause for concern.
He had delved in the darker crevices and corners of the city long enough in his job to know that not all things which did happen could be rationally explained. He was far too logical to claim magic, witches and fairies ran wild in the streets of London; yet, he had seen enough to know that there was not a solution to every cause which suited the laws of science and nature for a proper understanding. People did dabble in the occult at the risk of their own souls and others’ safety, and perhaps not all spirits retired peaceably from this world to the beyond immediately upon their physical passing. Whatever the case, as the great Bard himself had once written, “there were more things in Heaven and Earth”, and at the moment, one of those lesser known entities seemed more probable than dismissing out of hand the determined pickpocket for whom he had gained a grudging admiration.
Why he didn’t know, but it seemed his mind had arrived at the resolution without his conscious consent. Therefore, perhaps it would be best to return to the Chief Inspector’s offices and make sure there was no hint of the more ethereal nature in any of those troubling crime scene photos or notes. If the older Nolan, or Graham, were still working at this hour, they might even have reports from the newest victim’s scene for him to study. Mind made up, he strode off in that direction, step brisk and swift. His conscience pricked that Miss Nolan’s brother could also well wish to know of the strange encounter she had weathered this evening, even as some other corner of his being shied away from revealing what he knew instinctively she would not wish to have shared, particularly with one as concerned and protective as an elder sibling. Shaking his head in a brief moment of amused understanding, he remembered Liam’s exasperation at many of his own scrapes and close calls as they were growing up. His elder brother had not meant to coddle him of course, but he had certainly hoped to instill more caution and decorum than a younger Killian had used on his own.
Of course, those thoughts led to the rash actions and wrenching loss that had taught him the deliberation, care, and control that he now had more than enough of to last him the rest of his days. If he had listened to Liam’s cautions to slow down, to think… If he had only taken a bit more time to learn who Milah had been and what she had been fleeing… she might still…
Thankfully, before that train of grim thought could derail much further, his steps led him to the imposing stone structure and tall surrounding fence of Scotland Yard. Without further adieu, Jones made his way across the front walk, through the cavernous entry hall, and back the rather dim hallway leading to the inspector’s office. Nolan wasn’t a man who stood on excessive ceremony, more concerned with doing his job and the necessary results than etiquette and protocol. He doubted the other man would begrudge his unexpected arrival to peruse any new findings and ensure his adopted sister’s safety and well-being.
Sure enough, upon nearing the correct door, Jones rapped on the wooden frame twice and was immediately welcomed forward with a curt “Come in!” in the inspector’s brusquely resonant voice. Entering, he found Nolan standing, leaning over his desk where stark photographs and notes were spread, hands braced on the edges of the sturdy surface - clearly still trying to make sense of the clues they possessed as well. The sleeves of his crisp dress shirt were rolled up nearly to his elbows, and his stumped frustration was clear in the way the muscles of his bared forearms flexed spasmodically. The furrow between his wide, usually clear and calm eyes was deep, his suit jacket discarded in the chair behind him, and Killian could tell he had been at this for hours - with nothing new to show for it.
“Ah, Holmes,” he greeted, a wry, half-smile gracing his face and making the man look much more his usual self. “Just the pair of fresh eyes I need! Come have a look at this.”
“Did the results come back from your most recent victim?” Killian asked as he moved around the desk to where Nolan already stood. Once at the Inspector’s side, he looked down at the scattered gathering strewn across the flat surface. Though they had already noted the troubling savagery and seeming needlessness of each previous murder, the scene now added to the collection seemed almost sedate. There was still more blood than anyone should be comfortable with, but there were far fewer slices and cuts, less outward carnage on display. In fact, the only truly large enough injury to account for the wash of blood beneath the body, the dark puddle in every crime scene photo, was the gaping hole in the chest cavity, open and empty with ripped and cut off valves and arteries - and only those - where the victim’s heart should have been. It looked as though someone - or some thing - had reached in and pulled the heart from the victim’s body.
Leaning in to squint at the image more closely, trying to understand the necessity of getting one’s hand quite so dirty, to commit that amount of overkill, Jones tried to look deeper. What were they missing? What could the killer need with an actual human heart?
“Have all of the bodies been missing the heart?” Killian asked, stunned that this hadn’t been obvious to him sooner. He had studied all the previous site information as carefully as always, but none had seemed so blatantly about obtaining the single, necessary organ.
David shook his head soberly, mouth a thin, compressed line across his weary face. Scrubbing a hand down his features before answering. “No. The first two were missing numerous major internal organs. Then, as the kills continued, the number of organs missing lessened. At first, I hoped that meant the killer was getting sloppy, careless, closer to our capturing him. Then, as no other leads were forthcoming, and this sick hunt continued...well…” He shrugged helplessly, reminding Killian with a sharp twinge of guilt and conscience that this was where he was meant to come in, with his ability to see and deduce things that mere dedication and simple, straightforward policing might miss. “I thought he’d possibly lost his lair, or been interrupted and had to hurry. It never struck me that this could be about a single organ in particular. And even if it is….our suspect must have several hearts by now. So why is he still butchering people right and left?”
Inspector Nolan’s frustration was palpable, and Jones couldn’t blame him for it in the slightest. It was baffling, and more than a bit depraved. The ‘why’ of this all suddenly seemed infinitely more important than the when, where and how - even if that was the way his factual, logical mind tended to process most cases. Letting out his own huff of thwarted tension, Holmes leaned over the pictures again, so close that the edges of the separate scenes began to blur together. Then, a detail struck him that had escaped notice until that moment. For the newest set of crime scene images, out of the gaping darkness of the victim’s empty chest, it seemed something even lighter than the grey hue of the broken skin surrounding the opening stood out. Yes! Maybe... he blinked, trying to sharpen his focus once again. There was an edge of something just peeking out from the wound.
With a sharp indrawn breath, Killian pointed the barest sliver of true white out to the inspector, hardly daring to hope that his eyes were not playing trick on him. “Do you see that, Nolan? Is that… paper?”
A touch of urgency in his voice, Nolan already in motion, confirmed that he did see it and gestured impatiently for Jones to follow him. Their quick footsteps were out of the office, across the hive of the bullpen, and down the dark stairwell to the morgue in short order. “I hadn’t noticed that until you pointed it out, but the body should still be down here. We need to see just what it is.”
They barrelled around the corner at a near jog, Nolan rapping loudly on the door into the medical examiner’s domain, and nearly charging forward before the faint offer of admittance sounded from within. Jones stood slightly back, letting the man with authority and credentials make their request of his colleague. In fact, he found himself offering a half-hearted look of apology to the startled man when Nolan practically snarled that they needed to see the newest body once more and commanded they be shown to the shelf where the corpse had been stored.
Jones cannot be terribly perturbed by the results Nolan’s abruptnes grants them however, when not five minutes later they are looking down at the same view they’d had in the photograph upstairs. And sure enough, barely visible because he knows where to look, is the white edge of what can only be a thick sheet of parchment. The M.E. is still hovering nervously nearby, and at the detective’s motion, moves in with gloved hand and proper instrument to extract the indicated item. In seconds, they have it, though much the worse for wear and thoroughly stained with dried blood. Still, once the parchment had been laid on the table surface, and he and Nolan had donned gloves as well, Holmes found he could unfold the crinkled note and discern the words written in cramped, intense handwriting.
David Nolan still sported a dark scowl as his eyes scanned the strange missive and unusual text upon it. “Another dead end?!” He slammed his large hands down on the surface with a force that made the table rattle. “Why would he plant a paper full of gibberish in the body? Just to taunt us?”
“Whoa, whoa,” Killian cautioned. “It’s not gibberish. It’s Latin.” He could just make out the message showing through the vermillion stain: ‘Not just any heart will do. The only one to use is the heart in armor.’
“You speak Latin, Holmes?” the inspector asked disbelievingly.
Killian couldn’t help but smirk at the other man, waggling his eyebrow at bit despite the somber situation. “You’d be surprised what they teach you in the Royal Navy, mate.”
The inspector’s brow furrowed, looking both piqued and confused at Killian’s statement. Jones meanwhile found himself glad for the other man’s distraction. As the cryptic message began to truly sink in, he was overwhelmed by self-blame. His playful deflection had worked, Nolan had taken his knowledge at face value, and was now moving away to smooth things over with the flustered medical examiner. Thankful for the small mercy that he wasn’t having to explain just why he had closed himself off, why he never mentioned his naval service, and indeed why his own hard heart had felt cold and inadequate for so long, Killian could merely try to steady himself after the disturbing conclusion thrust upon him. Though the how and why were still largely a mystery, he could not overlook the fact that this monster had seemingly butchered all too many people in search of a heart like his.
Tagging a few who have been interested before: @courtorderedcake @kmomof4 @jennjenn615 @tiganasummertree @hollyethecurious @cocohook38 @resident-of-storybrooke @laschatzi @drowned-dreamer @thislassishooked @therooksshiningknight @thisonesatellite @teamhook @revanmeetra87 @darkcolinodonorgasm @stahlop @lfh1226-linda @winterbaby89 @gingerchangeling @searchingwardrobes @whimsicallyenchantedrose
#cs ff#cs Victorian au#cs role reversal#cs fanfic for fanart#The Case of the Heart in Armor#part four#Killian 'Holmes' Jones
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ACNH HC
PPG edition
so me and my friends on a server were discussing about how the powerpuff girls and rowdyruff boys would play the game, and i took it upon myself to write it all down. This isnt every single one and all of these were created in a mixture of mine, @empress-lulu-of-mischief and @toxicovee minds (possibly other so if i left you out im sorry!!!) Just something fun and silly to think about.
its long so ill break it up. Let me know if you have any others :)
Blossom: She had played New Leaf and loved being the mayor so only being a resident was a low blow for her. In that case her island is always 5 star because she would have nothing less. When it comes to how her island looks, it's perfect. It's symmetrical and her villagers have a cute little town that looks oddly like Townsville. She prefers the natural looking stone compared to Bubbles bright pathways. Her favorite thing is the museum and she will donate everything one by one so that Blathers will tell her everything, it's kind of insane. She does this with Celeste too and has little information signs everywhere. She doesn’t really like doing the custom designs for clothes but will occasionally.
When it comes to the flowers, she only likes the red, pink and white ones. She only plants those and if any colorful ones come up, she gives them to Bubbles or has giveaways on her island. She has giveaways on her island where up to five people can come and ask her questions like a little meet and greet.
She doesn’t time skip too often but she did go back in April for the cherry blossom DIYs which her entire house is pink and cute. When it comes to her outfits, she wears the red bow and Bubbles made their old school dresses so she usually has on her pink dress. Her villagers are all pink and she likes having the snooty ones best. She won’t hesitate to complain to Isabell and she will take a net to them.
Game Name: Blossom Island Name: The Good Place (Was Townsville but Bubbles told her no) Fav Characters: Blathers, Celeste and Tom Nook Fav Villagers: Flora, Merengue, Pinky, Whitney, Audie, Raymond Fruit: Cherry Flag: Her iconic red bow with a pink background Tune: The ppg theme song (it's actually mine too)
Bubbles: The queen of custom design and the hybrid hoarder. Her custom kiosk is constantly being used as everyone wears and uses her designs. Her island is filled with pastel blue pathways and the cutest decor ever. She mostly has small parks and cafes and is still trying to get past her 4 star ranking for KK Slider. She loves the hamster and small villagers and refuses to hit them with nets (except for the monkey who was mean but that's ok). She revolves around her flower gardens and she will yell at you if you try to steal her golden roses. No time skipping for her because she likes the slow pace of the game.
Every morning she goes to every villager and talks with them and sends them gifts. The Able Sisters is her favorite place and she mostly buys things for her villagers. Her musem isn’t even close to being complete because she is scared of the bugs except for the butterflies. The fish she is okay with but the moment she saw the tarantula she closed her game. If one of the girls or boys is on her island, they will catch everything for themselves. Her terraforming skills are off the charts since she likes design so much and everywhere you turn there is a waterfall covered with flowers but absolutely no weeds.
She loves having people come to her island. She sends out Dodo Codes for flower watering and trading. Everyone brings her gifts and it's now a running gag to bring blue flowers. Her player is always changing styles and hair colors but she always has custom heart cheeks.
Game Name: Bubbs Island Name: Sugar Shore Fav Characters: Leif, All the Able Sisters Fav Villagers: Bunnie, Cookie, Merry, Bubbles because duh Fruit: Apples Flag: Intricate bubble pattern with flowers Tune: She changes it from one disney song to the next
Buttercup: She wasn’t too thrilled about the game as she never played the other ones before. However she does start to like it as it's relaxing and helps with her anxiety. She's a grinder and always has money. She designed her island to have different areas based on her favorite movies and sport areas. She likes the jock and lazy villagers and will not hesitate to smack them with her nets. She hates how long dialogue takes and smashes the buttons violently.
She breeds the black flowers and her house is surrounded by them. She likes to catch the fish and every night she goes to as many islands as possible for taratuna hunting. She only allows her best friends to come to her island because the log screens are a pain. Her island is nice and cool and she time skips like crazy and likes the turnip stock market. Other than that she's not too obsessed with it and her villagers get upset when she leaves them for days at a time. The only custom thing she makes is movie posters and band album covers. Hidden around the island are magical summoning circles and fake blood, Bubbles hates it.
She likes CJ’s fish challenges and half her island is covered in bugs for Flick. Her player has the bandages and custom fake blood as well as spooky outfits that she gets from other people's codes.
Every time she catches a snail, she sends it to Butch with a message “its you” attached.
Name: BC Island Name: Spice Shack Favorite Villagers: Kid Cat, Bam, Phil, Bruce Fav Character: Cj and Flick Fruit: Orange Flag: Green skull with a black background (bubbles made it) Tune: Opening to “Welcome to the Black Parade)
Brick: Stock Market King, Mr. Richie Rich, Snob. After Boomer told him to play and gave it to him, he became obsessed with the stock market. Every Sunday is turnip day and he spends the week finding the highest selling price, usually his twitter followers will invite him and he will leave them a bunch of Nook Tickets. He time skips like crazy, cheats and he wears the crown without hesitation. His island is 5 star spotless and shows off the rarest items. If you wanna come to his island then you must pay up. He is the person who you hate because you wanna be him. He has only the top tier villagers and will call you poor. He doesn’t bother with custom designs and if he wants something then Bubbles is the one to go too. He used an island planner beforehand to make sure everything was in place. The moment something new comes out, he's on top of it. He doesn’t really care if a villager is ugly or cute, if they are highly wanted, he gets them.
If you happen to be dating him, you must wear the matching crown to prove that you are the best because it's what you deserve.
Name: Lord Brick Island Name: Bricktopia Favorite Villagers: Audie, Marshall, Raymond, Bob Fav Character: Redd, Daisy Mae (He is her bitch and sets his alarm) Fruit: Peaches Flag: Red flag with a crown on it (made by bubbs of course) Tune: He doesn't know and he doesn’t care because he plays on mute.
Butch: Disater. His island is always messy and he doesn't care too much about the atmosphere but he does like the bugs and is a simp for Isabell. He saves all the snails BC gives him and puts them in his snail room or the army room. He becomes serious about the game a little later and sooner follows Brick with all the cheats. They dominate the stock market like bosses
He doesn't talk that much with the villagers but spends time hitting them with nets if they are ugly. He keeps Butch without a doubt and moves his house next to his cause they are bros but all of his villagers are cats only for the reason to make jokes. (pussy island)
His island is like a living meme as he has random images in the sand. His house is simple but a punk rock domain and he wont tell anyone that he spent hours making the green day album covers for his wall. He doesn't have too many flowers but prefers the bamboo look more. His favorite item to wear is the hockey mask and he put fake blood face paint on. His island is like a horror game instead and Bubbles refuses to come to his island because it's scary. He also likes to make mazes out of hedges.
After a while he restarts his island and son time travels and has the island buffets where people pay to come get materials and objects. He becomes an AC king in no time and likes that he can make money. (the only people allowed on his island without payment is the girls, his brothers and his friends, other than that, pay up)
Name: Butch Island Name: Butch Pad Fav Villagers: Butch, Bob, Olivia, Stinky, Tom (litrally just cats and Butch) Fav Character: Cj and Kicks Fruit: Pears Island flag: A snail with a skull on its shell Island tune: Mr. Brightside opening
Boomer: This boi right here is the AC King. He's played every single game since he was little (always made fun of by his brothers but look at you Brick). He knows all the AC lore and will go into detail about Tom Nook and Redds past plus he is the biggest shipper of Flick and Cj. His island is terraformed perfectly and he has literally everything you could want. He time skipped for a little bit but never cheats.
He is a twitch streamer and everyone tunes in the moment Boomer is on. He allows for five people to come on his island a day to play games and get DIYs that he already has. He's a humble player who knows his way around everything. He doesn’t care too much about which villagers come and go but Audi is his favorite as the back story suggests. He just wants to complete it all except he will never be able to catch wasps, he sucks at it. However he rarely misses a fish and also has piles for Flick and CJ.
He is an avid hybrid flower person and any extras, he gladly gives away. Bubbles gets the first pick. He is surprisingly good at custom designs and makes everything himself. His island has little cafes and band areas as well as a perfect view of KK Slider because he is a 5 star island for sure.
He owns AC Merch and buys fanart from other people because he is obsessed. He got Brick Daisy Mae socks and he catches him wearing them every Sunday for good luck.
His player looks like him but also wears the crown (he got it first anyways). His house has all the instruments and has a nod to all his past houses.
Name: Boomer Island Name: Big Blue Fav Villagers: Boomer, Bubbles, Audi, Tad Fav Character: Isabell, Timmy and Tommy, Cj he loves them all. KK SLIDER Fruit: Cherry Flag: His flag changes weekly as his subscribers have flag comps each week and he uses the winner as his flag Tune: He is an Og and didn’t change the song.
Ships and how they play:
Reds: Museum dates. They love walking through the museum while talking on the phone and wandering around. Brick brings her a pink rose each visit and Blossom places them around her house. Usually when they are on each other's islands they are facetiming or talking and they just kinda run around and don't do much before getting off and focusing on each other. Blossom brings him gold flowers because he is a snob but he secretly appreciates it. Blossom has to take off the bow and wear the crown because only the best can be on his island. She makes him wear a red hat when he comes onto her island. Sometimes they have fishing competitions and whoever wins gets to brag on the bulletin board.
Blues: Dates!! When they visit the other islands, they go back and forth all day, exchanging hybrid flowers and catching butterflies. Bubbles talks to every villager he has and they each made a secret picnic spot on their islands for them. If he is streaming, she is mostly likely watching and or playing with him. They can spend hours just talking and running around and they just craft and decorate together. She helps him fix his house up and “I love bubbles Is written in the sand that can clearly be seen from the plane loading screen. They always give things and write love notes on their boards. Together they host games on their island and it's always on a certain day. There's at least a queue of 100 people each time.
Greens: They hit each other with nets and axes for five minutes before switching to a fighter game and hopping on with the boys. But if they manage to stay on longer, Butch and Buttercup just cuss consatntly and leave eachother gross notes on the bultin boards. The play hide and seak and Butch likes to dig up her flowers and make a mess of her island before she does the same to his.
COLOR CRACK:
Brick x Bubbles: He constantly is paying off her debut because she doesnt time skip or grind for her money. She never asks him to but she opens her mailbox to find bags of money and rare items. She makes his red sweater and when he goes to her island that's the only time he removes his expensive outfits. In the back of his island he grows hybrid flowers for her. She makes his custom designs and shows him how to boost his flower production and villager points.
Brick x Buttercup: He likes calling her poor. He is insulted by her island being boring and gives her gifts but she sells them to piss him off. They are the most competitive pair when it comes to fishing and she likes to dig in random places and drop items to make him mad. He’ll walk around and find thirty sticks everywhere and call her. It's about teasing with them and good fun. They are also the turnip couple overlords and constantly are looking for the best princes.
Boomer x Blossom: Boomer knows everything about AC and Blossom loves learning about the stories. He gives her tours of the museum and everytime she has a new villager, he explains their past. He gifts her pink flowers and she helps him complete his museum with fossils. He will have people come to his island and she even has meet and greets with people. It's simple and fun.
Boomer x Buttercup: Boomer gets BC addicted to the game. No other person can make her care so much about these animals than her soft boyfriend. He shows her all the secrets and how to make her island amazing. She becomes obsessed and is soon rivaling Brick for best island, Blossom knows hers is better. Buttercup likes to grind and travel for materials and anytime Boomer says he needs to find some more wood, she has it sent to his island in no time.
Butch x Blossom: Sir is a simp for Pinky. He enjoyed listening to her talk about the fossils in the museum and when she flew to his island “Blossom is Hot” was written on the ground. Even though her island is thriving , he constantly sends her gifts and things. His favorite thing to do is to run on her island and leave a random heart patch for her to find. She doesn’t exactly approve of his methods of making people pay money to get stuff but him allowing her to get whatever she wants, she turned the other cheek because if people want to spend money so be it.
Butch x Bubbles: He hits her villagers and she yells at him. He also likes to take her flowers one by one and replace them with normal one. He tried taking her golden rose but she cried and he called her to make sure she was ok. Now he doesn't mess with her but finds himself growing her flowers. She doesn’t come to his island because it's spooky but he made a little spot on the beach and “Bubble Safe Zones”. She tends to have the best items for sale so whenever he visits he shops a lot. They like to fish together and she shows him how to plant flowers and make his island nice. After he decides to restart and make his island a shopping paradise, Bubbles gets anything she wants especially since she doesn’t time skip. If there's something rare that he only has one of, she gets it.
Bonus: (doesn’t matter which ship)
-Blossom once had turnips for 800 bells and did not let Brick come on her island because he said something about the bow being dumb. He instantly regretted and called her and begged, the man begged over the phone for her to open the gates. She did at the last second.
-Butch once stole Bubbles gold rose and the entire city heard her sonic scream. He put it back and waters it daily. (She screamed cause she saw a spider on the wall but it got him to but the rose back)
-Boomer and Blossom know about the AC lore and often have long discussion on his stream about different
-Nintendo contacted the girls and for a new event they made the powerpuff girls as villagers you could have. Blossom is a preppy wolf named Blossom, Bubbles is a sisterly duck named Bubbles and Buttercup is a jock cat named Butters. Each of them are themed to their signature color and each offers a special diy. (they sent the girls amiibos and codes to get their own) Big Bow Bookshelf (Bow shaped bookshelf with blossoms signature), Heroes Bedtime(replica of the childhood bed), Hotline Phone, Heavenly Hearts Rug (the heart ending screen rug), Bubbly vanity (three giant blue bubbles that look like a mirror with bubbles signature), BC Bean Bag (bean bag that is green with Buttercups signature). Crime Fighters wallpaper (wallpaper that has the famous pink, blue and green streaks), Pink Poster, Green poster, and Blue poster, PPG Poster (has all three girls on it)
-Each girl has a special memorial on their island for Bunny. It is just a patch of Purple roses and all of them are near their house.
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ya didnt have to call me out like that man- GSHSGSJKJGJ but uh all 50 for goober :> (beatrice-santello)
@beatrice-santello @of-saints-and-demons oh god here comes Goober
1. Does your F/O have a birthmark? (or any type of freckles or beauty marks?)
None that are visible! She might have some on her body under the clothes, but none that we know about in canon. I headcanon that she has a couple of moles on her torso.
2. Is your F/O the type to volunteer to their community?
Judging by her past, which she spent fighting to protect her community, she does in her own way. She’d probably keep doing it as well, were she not trapped as an AI in the Corporation.
3. Does your F/O the type to be giving or to take?
Ignoring what I thought this question meant as first she’s more selfless than you’d think. There’s a reason she’s kind of a hero figure in the Back Streets. Even now, her anger is over the dangerousness of the anomalies and her inability to protect people. I’d say she’s more of a giving person.
4. Does your F/O have any battle scars?
There’s a couple very visible on her face. Most likely there’s some on her body as well that you just can’t see because of the bodysuit.
5. Does your F/O wear make up? (Do you think they would be open to wearing makeup if they don’t wear it daily?)
I don’t think she does, mostly because she sees it as a waste of time. The fact that she’d look great is beside the point.
6. Has your F/O ever dye their hair or worn a wig?
She hasn’t. She probably sees that as a waste of time too, but her natural hair is gorgeous either way.
7. What is your F/O fashion taste?
Sleek and maybe a bit edgy, with lots of black and red. Especially considering her signature longcoat.
8. How tall is your F/O?
Taaaall. She’s taller than every other sephirah in the game. If she’s not six feet tall, she’s pretty close.
9. What is your F/O’s blood type?
In her present form, she doesn’t have blood. Which is a really ominous statement out of context. Even when she did, I have no idea what her blood type would be.
10. When is your F/O birthday?
She doesn’t have a canon birthday, but I think sometime in late October to early November. She’s probably a Scorpio.
11. Does your F/O know how to cook? If so are they good at it?
She’s an okay cook, I think. She’s not amazing at it, but she can get by.
12. What is your F/O favorite flavor? (sweet, sour, bitter, salty and umami (savory))
It isn’t listed here, but she probably prefers spicy food over anything else, and I mean very spicy. If she’s not in actual pain, it’s not enough.
13. If your F/O could be a fan of any video game what do you think it would be?
For some reason I like the idea of her just being unfairly good at Smash. She can and will crush you. Her main is probably Ganon or something similar, heavy on offense.
14. What type of aesthetic does you F/O have?
Reeeeed. She has a clear theming color, and I feel like her aesthetic involves it a lot. Red and slightly edgy.
15. What color is your F/O eyes?
They’re a golden color. Sometimes in fanart she’s portrayed as heterochromatic because of her damaged eye.
16. Does your F/O have any tattoos? If not do they like or hate the concept of tattoos?
She doesn’t have any in canon, but I feel like she could get behind the idea. She’d probably get something in memory of her fallen comrades, as a reminder of what she’s here for and what’s at stake.
17. If you could matching tattoos what would it be?
Hmm, some kind of matching symbol to remind of us everything we’ve been through. Potentially one another’s weapons?
18. Does your F/O have any piercings?
I don’t think she does. She doesn’t hate the aesthetic, but depending on where they are they might be risky in battle, so she might not get any.
19. Is your F/O a cake or pie person?
Oooh, hard. I don’t think she’s crazy about sweets, but she’d prefer pie.
20. Is your F/O a morning or night person?
More of a night owl, I’d say. She’s just used to getting most of her work done at night, and it’s a hard habit to break.
21. Is your F/O a coffee or tea person?
Definitely a coffee person. It’s more readily available at the Corporation, and she prefers the taste. She takes hers black.
22. Is your F/O half empty or half full type of person?
She’s more of a pessimist and can maybe be a bit bitter at times. Hard to blame her, considering everything she’s gone through.
23. Does your F/O have a pet? If not in canon what do you think they would have if given the chance?
I don’t think she has one in canon, due to the peculiarities of working for the Corporation. In a AU I could see her going for a big dog, or maybe a cat.
24. Is your F/O the type to want to live in the city or live out in the country?
She’s lived in the city all her life and is used to it, but I don’t think she’d mind the space when it comes to living in the country.
25. Does your F/O like to swim?
I’m not sure she ever has, but (assuming she’s not in robot form) I could see her enjoying it. Helps keep her strong and all.
26. What harry potter house would your F/O be in? (Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin)
She’s a pretty clear shoe in for Gryffindor, especially considering her past.
27. If your F/O was in “avatar: the last air bender” what type of bender would they be? (air, water, earth, and fire)
Honestly if her design didn’t already scream firebender, the fiery personality sure does.
28. Is your F/O LGBT+?
It seems to be a pretty popular idea in the fandom that she’s some kind of wlw. I personally like to see her as bi like me.
29. Does your F/O have any artistic hobbies? (Knitting, drawing, painting, etc)
I don’t think she’s ever tried any, and she’d probably say something about just not being meant for that. Still, I wonder if she’d enjoy it if she ever did get the chance to try. Maybe just as stress relief.
30. What’s a piece of clothing your F/O is never seen without? (glasses, a necklace, hat, etc)
Her design changed as a sephirah, but that long coat she wore before was so iconic. When it comes to accessories though, she tends to keep things light.
31. What type of scent does your F/O remind you of?
Maybe some kind of warm, smokey scent. I mean I know she’s portrayed smoking a lot but maybe some kind of nice bonfire smell?
32. What’s something you see often that has little to no relation to your F/O but always reminds you of them?
She’s never used one in canon, but I could see her appreciating a good knife. Just like swords, which I absolutely do associate with her.
33. Do you have any silly nicknames or pet names for your F/O?
Goober. She probably hates that one. I’m also pretty generous with pet names, which embarrass her if they’re done in front of others, but she kinda likes them when it’s just us.
34. What does your F/O house/apartment look like? (or what do you think it looks like)
I think she’s just fine with a smaller space, just a small apartment is fine. She keeps it pretty organized, not minimalist by any means but she keeps it nice and clean.
35. What season reminds you of your F/O? (winter, spring, summer, fall)
Honestly, fall. Not just because of the colors, but I could see her liking it best.
36. Have you ever had a dream with your F/O in it?
Recently she has started appearing in my dreams. Confusingly Binah (who I’m not considering at all) was also there?
37. Does your F/O play any musical instruments?
I honestly doubt she’s ever had the chance to try, so she has no idea how. Her learning to play a saxophone though, hmm...
38. What’s a song that reminds you of your F/O when you hear?
For her as a character and not in a romantic way, Firestarter by the Prodigy. It definitely has the right heavy feel, and the fire imagery is always good for her.
Also, low key, Together Again by Janet Jackson came on earlier today, and it had me thinking about my ship with her.
39. What is your relationship like with your F/O?
Actually, really close. I’m one of the few people she feels like she can trust, and really she needs me around. I’m the only one she can lean on, and while she knows sometimes she doesn’t know how to handle emotional things, she’ll repay the debt by doing everything she can to protect me.
40. How long have you been with your F/O? (or at least been interested in them?)
I only just added her to the list in the past few days, but I’ve been thinking about her for slightly longer. Still, it hasn’t been very long.
41. Where is your F/O from? (as in born)
She’s from the Back Streets, which is a slum kind of area which is apparently pretty dangerous to live in. I’m also not sure what the city from Lobotomy Corporation is called, but it’s some kind of metropolitan area.
42. Is your F/O the type to read reviews, or just go with their gut
She definitely goes with her gut, just as a general rule. After all, her gut is all she has.
43. What does your F/O’s Saturdays usually look like?
God, a much needed break. Get some coffee, maybe get a workout in, not have to deal with the bullshit from the Corporation. Maybe have some time with me. (This is, of course, unless she just has to work on Saturdays anyway, but god I want her to have a break.)
44. What is your F/O’s most valuable possession?
It’s probably a memento from her time in the Back Streets. Something small, but she’s still pretty fiercely protective of it. In some ways, it’s a reminder of what she’s lost.
45. What’s a fad you can see your F/O taking part of?
Honestly the thought of her taking part in any fad is really funny. The closest thing I can think of is her trying crossfit or something along those lines (and even then, something tells me she wouldn’t be impressed).
46. does your F/O prefer to work alone or with a team?
You know, I feel like it’s really easy to assume she prefers to work alone, especially with how she acts in game, but I think she misses having a team of people she could really trust. I feel like she likes to work with a team, but it has to be the right team.
47. How well does your F/O know tech? (such as computers, smart phones)
She has some exposure to tech, but mostly in a Corporation setting. So some things she’s pretty used to handling, but others she has no idea what to do with.
48. What’s some advice your F/O would tell you?
My first thought was she would tell me to hold on to what I believe in. I think in many ways she’s ashamed of not being able to protect others and the situation she’s currently in, so that’s what she wants to say the most.
49. What animal reminds you of your F/O?
I know she’s been compared to various kinds of big cats before, but maybe a bear? Like for both the vicious reputation and the protectiveness.
50. What color reminds you of your F/O?
Well, considering how strong the color theming is, it feels wrong to say anything but red.
51. What’s the most interesting fact you know about your F/O?
So we’re limited in how much we know about her in canon, so my fact might be kind of lame. But while she’s usually depicted wielding Mimicry (Nothing There’s weapon), she uses many more than that in her Sephirah Meltdown. They include, from what I remember, weapons from Spider Bud, Burrowing Heaven, Silent Orchestra, Apocalypse Bird, One Sin and Hundreds of Good Deeds, Mountain of Smiling Bodies, King of Greed, and Judgment Bird. In fact, I’m pretty sure she touches on most of the aleph-class weapons. Of those, my favorite one that she wields is Twilight (from Apocalypse Bird).
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Today is the 2nd birthday of my art blog! Maybe this is sort of silly, but I've been reflecting a lot lately, so I'll probably get rambly and sappy and serious and other bullshit. Under the cut!
TW: suicide ment, parental death
I remember when I was in early high school I was always kind of in awe that people could get so invested into something that they'd make fanart for it constantly. I'd see it a lot! But back then my hyperfixations would only last a couple weeks before I got tired of it and moved on to something else. There was never anything consistent enough that I'd want to draw fanart, even back when RWBY first came out it was the same thing. I'd be obsessed for a while! And then move on.
But two years ago on a whim I decided to make this art blog. I was honestly so sure that I'd start it, get tired of it within a couple weeks, and ultimately just delete it. But I actually got involved with the community! I saw so many amazing and inspiring artists! I read fun theories, fanfics, ideas, analysis, etc! Before long RWBY became a staple in my life. I related to a lot of the characters and their struggles, especially Yang. And with the hope of Bumbleby becoming a real possibility and being so well written, I was hooked. In the summer of 2018 between volumes 5 and 6, I lost my dad. He wasn't my biological father--that man left me when I was very young. I don't even remember him being much of a presence in my life aside from the very rare times he's visit for a couple hours. For a long time I wanted to have some sort of a relationship with him, but he let me down time and time again with false promises. He added me on Facebook a couple months before my dad died, and I remember just going off on him about how I felt. After so long of wanting him to, y'know, be my dad, when he came to me that time I was just done. I told him how I felt and that was that. I had a dad, you know? So when James, my dad passed it just felt really unfair. 15+ years of wanting a father figure in my life only to finally find someone and then have him taken away so unexpectedly. It's like a cruel joke.
During that time, RWBY became a distraction. Volume 6 teasers started popping up, the fandom was becoming more active again, it helped a little bit. I think the worst of it was right around when volume 6 was probably about halfway through. Grief really fucks up a lot for you. I became a really angry person, I isolated myself from friends, told everyone multiple times there was no way I'd be able to support anyone emotionally, and I left some awful friendships. Even my girlfriend at the time, who knew what this sort of grief was like, tried to hold on to me so tightly that it's ultimately what ended up pushing me away even further. A lot of things just kept going wrong. I remember being downtown by the river one night cause I wanted to get away from everything for a bit, and I just really missed my dad. I missed him a lot. The thought of "If you miss him so much, why not just join him?" ran through my head a lot, staring at the water. It was a little scary.
As stupid as this may sound, clinging so much to a show, "I want to know what happens next." was the simplest response that kept me going. Seeing a new episode every week and then coming on here to see all the new fanart, the wild theories and analysis, all the way down to the smallest things that likely didn't mean anything. (Like Blake taking One Whole step closer to Yang when they told everyone Oscar was missing.) That goofy excitement and seeing so many happy posts made a lot of the grief bearable. It was my first time having to deal with such a life changing loss, but RWBY and its community softened the blow a little, and I'm really grateful for that.
I think some people don't quite understand that. My ex got annoyed that I just wanted to watch RWBY, read stuff about it, draw for it. I tried to explain it to her a few different times like... why I wanted to focus on it so much, and she'd understand for a while. But she'd always get frustrated again a few days later. I tried to do the right thing and break it off a couple times because I just wasn't able to maintain a relationship, but it just sort of... kept dragging on before I finally put my foot down and called it quits for good.
On the other hand, others did understand why RWBY was so important to me, and still tried to chase me from the community anyways due to some issues with my platonic partners coping in unhealthy ways with trauma. (That was a looooong talk with them;; but it all turned out okay and they're doing better.) They knew all of this. I was really scared for a while. Not that I'd lose followers or that people blocked me, I didn't care about that. I was scared that I'd lose the only way I've found that's helped me cope with losing my dad.
I knew grieving was a hard process, but I never thought it'd be so difficult for others to let me grieve. And for me to let myself grieve. Maybe it's dumb to rely so much on a show to help me get through the hard days, but if it helps me that's all that really matters. Volume 7 will be here before we know it and I am beyond excited. Regardless of how much shit people have tried to throw at me and how cruel others are, a lot of good has come from it too. I've experimented more with my art and have tried to improve in areas I've always been too nervous to try cause of how bad I am at them. I've made some really awesome friends!! And I hope to talk to more people and possibly collab with artists! And! I reconnected with an old friend who is now my girlfriend by getting her into RWBY, and of course the bees. :P
I feel like this whole post is a big jumbled mess, but really I'm just so beyond thankful for this whole community. I'm thankful for the people who enjoy my art and continue to support me and I'm grateful for all the fun content people make for it, from fanart to analysis to shitposts. It's all helped me so much.
It's been a really wild 2 years and I'm stuck in this fandom for a long time. Nothing and no one will change that. ♥
#alice.txt#oh my god why do i always do this#i write sappy shit and then like a week later i'm too embarrassed to even look back at it#but i just ahhhh#rwby really just means the world to me
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The Story of How Hannigram Became Canon to Those Who Are in Doubt
This post is mostly meant for the casual viewers who I noticed have joined Hannibal Subreddit after the news about the S4 negotiations. It is great that we are growing in numbers, but there seems to be a misunderstanding in regard to Hannigram (the romantic relationship between Will and Hannibal) and people who ship this pairing.
Hannigram is not a fanon pairing. It is not ‘just in the heads’ of silly girls or overly-romantic viewers. It is a canonically acknowledged couple that is supported massively by the cast and Bryan Fuller. Furthermore, this romance is the essence of the show, because Will and Hannibal find everything in each other. No, their relationship is not based merely on romance or sexual attraction. But also no, a more explicit romance in S4, which seems very likely and has been hinted at many times, will not destroy the complexity of the relationship. It will add to it.
The first part is canon evidence of Hannigram season by season. The second part of this huge post is tweets, quotes, and photos with Bryan and cast in regard to Hannigram. (Sorry, I can't seem to break the post in parts for easier reading, the formatting links don't work here for some reason.)
THE SHOW ITSELF
Season 1 is obviously the most ambiguous one in this regard because the relationship only starts to develop. And yes, the majority of scenes can be interpreted as the blossoming friendship, because it is a friendship first and foremost. Even several rather romantic moments can be technically classified as such — but only if you ignore the looks that Will and Hannibal give each other and the later narrative. Still, this is all ambiguous at this stage.
When Hannibal offers Will to take care of Abigail, he repeatedly calls them her “fathers”. Not “uncles” or “caretakers” or any other option — fathers, and while this word by itself might not mean much, it is clearly supposed to hint at what kind of relationship is going to unite Will and Hannibal in the future. In 1.07, Will doesn’t come to the appointment and Hannibal is pining. It is a very powerful and explicit scene, with Hannibal slowly walking to his chair, checking his calendar to make sure Will had to come, touching the phone longingly, then abruptly making a decision and going to look for him. All of this is accompanied by the corresponding music. Is this scene romantic? Some may see it this way, some may disagree. But I think most will agree that such obvious pining is a common romantic trope that's often shown in media. The focus and the way the scene is presented are everything: they didn't just show that Will didn't come and that Hannibal decided to find him. No, we had a slow focus on all his hesitant actions and his longing for contact. In any way, at this stage, it is no longer a mere friendship. It goes deeper, to the point where Hannibal can’t stand not knowing where Will is and craving contact enough to drive for hours in the search for him.
Once again in 1.07, Will brings Hannibal a bottle of wine out of blue and acts awkwardly and shyly when declining the invitation to join the dinner party. We don’t know why Will did it and it is never addressed again, but I think everyone will agree that bringing a bottle of wine to another person for no reason and just for him has a rather romantic shade.
Then, in that same scene, Will claims he can’t stay because he has ‘a date with a Chesapeake Ripper’. It is a joke, of course, but once again, it’s fiction. The word choice is very deliberate, and Bryan loves to foreshadow the upcoming events.
In 1.08, Will drives an hour in the snow to tell Hannibal about the kiss with Alana and Hannibal exhibits a very controlled jealousy, making a snarky comment about the long drive and telling Will that he had been motivated not by attraction, but by the need to find a balance.
In 1.09, Hannibal calls him and Will Abigail’s fathers again and touches his shoulder. Yes, it is ambiguous, but when (especially) you know what’s coming, you can’t help but notice how this touch is too hesitant and fragile for a mere gesture of friendship and unity. I’ll just say, even my father caught up on it right away, which is saying something.
These are the most explicit things I recall from season 1. Now, season 2 is way more direct.
Many scenes of Hannibal pining, sitting with a glass of wine and staring at Will’s chair at his time of appointments is a common romantic trope. Yes, it can be interpreted in different ways — for example, Will has already become a part of Hannibal and Hannibal misses him as the person who has the power to understand him. However, I feel like I have to emphasize the fact that it cannot be the only reason. Hannibal has already met people with extreme empathy before, such as Pazzi. He has also met people who were happy to join him and who had similar mindset, as Tobias Budge. Hannibal wasn’t interested in them, but he’s interested in Will. Will is special because he is himself, and like Hannibal will say later, love either pays you a visit or it does not. It clearly did with Will.
Soon after Will is released from prison, he goes to Hannibal to start the implementation of his and Jack’s plan. What does he choose to do? He dresses up and polishes himself up, presenting himself to Hannibal in the way that we have never seen him before. The first thought that comes to mind is ‘seduction’. Consciously or unconsciously, Will makes himself look as attractive as possible.
In 2.08, Hannibal touches Will’s face and holds it, staring into his eyes. This is romantic. It is one of the most popular romantic tropes that ever existed. ‘Transcendent’ love doesn’t require this kind of very intimate touch to be displayed. More than that, things become very dangerous here because if there had been no explicit follow-up, Bryan would have been accused of queerbaiting. Fortunately, it wasn’t the case.
In 2.09, Will has a dream where Hannibal directly calls him his ‘beloved’ several times. In 2.10, Hannibal treats Will’s hands very gently and we get camera focusing on it thoroughly. It is a deliberate depiction of eroticism that's often used in romances to create and underline romantic and/or sexual tension. In the same episode, we have a beautiful sex scene, seemingly between Hannibal and Alana and Will and Margot. However, it is there to show a very intimate and all-encompassing connection that is developing between Will and Hannibal, and it is structured this way specifically. Will reaches orgasm when he sees the Wendigo, a reflection of Hannibal. The words used before, like Hannibal's words about "never touching", are said to Alana but put on the image of Will.
Alana notices the shift in this relationship and asks Will and Hannibal about it. They talk about “crossing boundaries” and the fact that they “know where we are with each other”, and Alana clearly remains suspicious. In the end of the episode, Will and Hannibal have an intimate dinner full of lingering glances.
In 2.11, the episode starts with the eating of ortolans, which has being pointed out as an allusion to blowjob by the creator) If you have missed it, just re-watch this scene again with this in mind. It is very explicit, to the point of being uncomfortable. Hannibal’s reaction to learning that Margot is pregnant from Will is to hint Mason about it, thus endangering her and her child. Granted, he seems to genuinely regret it, but the deed is done. It is a jealous and possessive reaction, which has been further confirmed by Mads. During the con, he said: "If Margot had Will’s baby, it would be very hard for Hannibal to get over it. He’d be jealous and very grumpy." In this same episode, Alana looks at the burnt ‘Shiva’ that Hannibal has left for Will and calls it a ‘courtship’. So, we get the explicit confirmation that Hannibal is courting Will. And no, he isn’t courting an emerging killer in Will because at this point, he thinks that Will has already embraced his potential by killing Randall and Freddie and eating her. To Hannibal’s mind, Will is almost ready, but he is too lovesick to stop. Can you imagine him digging up the corpse of ‘Freddie’, decorating it, and displaying like that? It’s hilariously romantic — in a dark way.
In 2.12, Will chooses Hannibal by freeing him from the trap and then not giving him up to Jack after he mutilates Mason. Hannibal draws a fanart (!) of himself and Will as Achilles and Patroclus. For those who don’t know, these two are popular examples of lovers. This isn't just friendship. The reference to Achilles and Patroclus is often used to hint at a romance, it's a popular trope as well.
In 2.13, Hannibal talks about ‘imago’, an image of a loved one, and then says that he and Will have an image of each other and offers him to run away. Two men running away together to reunite with their daughter is romantic. Will chooses Hannibal once again by calling him, but it is too late. We get a heartbreakingly tender and intimate touch between them before the stabbing. As Mads said, "Will is the light of Hannibal's life and Hannibal killed Abigail to break Will's heart the way he broke his." Just as he said that "Hannibal was blinded by love."
Season 3 is where all subtext is taken into text. Hannibal has chosen Bedelia as a substitute to Will, and note how many people believe they become lovers. So, why Will and Hannibal running away is platonic, but Hannibal doing the same with Bedelia is not? Even though when the only person he does love is Will. We see that he is dissatisfied with Bedelia and is growing restless.
In 3.01, we get a flashback to Gideon who teases/mocks Hannibal by saying, ‘If only that company could be Will Graham’. So, in the very limited interactions, even he managed to glimpse the attraction, because let’s be honest, he didn’t have time to understand all deep layers of this relationship, but his phrase has been included deliberately.
In this episode, Hannibal meets Anthony, practically a Will mirror. He looks similarly, is smart, sassy, and he is even enthusiastic about Hannibal’s crimes. Ideally, he is everything Hannibal has wanted. But what does he do? He kills Anthony and turns him into a Valentine heart for Will. Before that, he makes an example of the heart from Da Vinci’s ‘perfect man’. In 3.02, Will recognizes it as such and calls it a Valentine and a ‘broken heart’. He asks himself, “Do I still want to go with him?”, and answers, “Yes”.
In 3.03, we get the first ‘in love’ confirmation. Hannibal is shaken after seeing Will and hearing his words of forgiveness. When talking about him with Bedelia, Bedelia says, “Betrayal and forgiveness are best seen as something akin to falling in love”, and Hannibal replies, “You can’t control with respect to whom you fall in love”. The longing for Will has made Hannibal reckless, and Bedelia notices it by mentioning that he is going to get caught with this kind of behavior. In the end of the episode, Hannibal once again says that Will makes him feel love. He adds, “Love. He pays you a visit or he doesn’t.” Which love can either come to a person or not? Technically, these words could be interpreted as platonic love, but in the beginning of this very episode, we got a confirmation that the nature of this love is romantic. Will, in turn, is still reverent about Hannibal and even travels to his home to find out more about him. His attitude changes when he sees Chiyoh, who he sees as another toy abandoned by Hannibal, and it brings back the insecurities. We see it through how often Will compares himself and Chiyoh and how he is filled with anger and bitterness again (which were absent before this meeting). Chiyoh sees right through him and repeatedly states that Will is wrong to compare them, but Will persists.
In 3.04, we see that Will spends a lot of time sitting in Hannibal’s house, which is yet another romantic trope. Even Alana knows where to find him. Will admits to Jack that he “wanted to run away with Hannibal”, which also has a romantic connotation. Before that, Will was making the boat that he later uses to come and find Hannibal. This scene is intercut with his Mizumono memories, namely, with Hannibal's face that emerges every time he moves yet another part of the engine. This is a vivid demonstration of Will trying to repair what is now broken. He also literally sails after Hannibal, which is considered extremely romantic by many tropes at once. Chilton calls Will and Hannibal’s interactions a “flirtation” in this episode.
In 3.05, when discussing what to do with Hannibal, Chiyoh says, “I told you, there are means of influence other than violence” and kisses Will, thus showing him what others means exist. It is yet another direct allusion to the romantic part of Will and Hannibal’s relationship because Chiyoh basically offers him to kiss Hannibal instead of trying to kill him.
In 3.06, Hannibal says the famous, ”If I saw you every day, forever, Will, I would remember this time”. He said the same words to Clarice in the books shortly before having sex with her. It is an utterly romantic phrase that just cannot have any other meaning, especially when you count the narrative and the source material. Will adds some more romantic phrases, like “We are conjoined, I wonder if either of us can survive separation.” Such level of love is incredible, but you don’t say things like that to a person who you feel can just understand you. Nor to a simple friend or a spiritual mentor. It’s everything at once, especially when coming from Will. Things go badly after that and we get a knife and a drill. Scenes in Mason’s house are great and show that Will and Hannibal could be a great team. Hannibal saves Will and carries him home bridal-style. He changes his clothes, puts him into bed, and waits for him to wake up while writing down formulas that could change the time and erase some of the events. When Will wakes up, Hannibal admits that he has discovered Will in his Mind Palace, victorious, thus giving the power into his hands. When Will rejects him (by saying he’s not going to miss him), Hannibal gives himself up, knowing that chances are, he will never get back to freedom and he will never see Will again. Prison is the ultimate act of love because Hannibal is helpless there, completely on Will’s mercy. As Mads said during the con, "Will forgetting him was the last thing Hannibal wanted to hear, so that’s why he surrendered. The only way Will would see him again is if he’s in jail, and he would eventually visit. He was afraid he’d never see Will again otherwise."
3 years pass and we see that Will has a family. But — surprise! He is unhappy. He doesn’t even go fishing with them to have some time for himself. He hides the letter from Hannibal and goes to read it in the middle of the night. He never returns Molly’s ‘I love you’, never attempts to touch her, can’t even keep up a conversation with her, and literally sees himself falling to pieces. At the earliest opportunity, he jumps at the chance to see Hannibal. He didn’t have to do it. We are shown that he has recreated the crime scene perfectly, better than ever before, but Will lies to Jack about it and asks to see Hannibal.
In 3.09, we have a very powerful scene of Hannibal and Will reuniting, exchanging long sorrowful and heartbroken gazes. Hannibal says, “I gave you a child”, which puts him and Will in a category of parents again. He says that Will has chosen a ready-made family and Will doesn’t argue. We get a “Murder Husbands” reference from Freddie.
In 3.10, Will seeks Bedelia out. He acts catty and jealous. Bedelia calls him “Hannibal’s bride”, and calls Will out on visiting Hannibal just because he missed him, which Will doesn’t deny. He is confident and snarky at those scenes, using every opportunity to cut into Bedelia for having a relationship with Hannibal and surviving it in even better shape than he did. Bedelia says, “My relationship with Hannibal is not as passionate as yours”, and then adds: “You are here visiting old flame. Is your wife aware of how intimately you and Hannibal know each other?” They literally place Hannibal on the same level as Will’s wife. Then we have, “Your experience of Hannibal’s attention is so profoundly harmful yet so irresistible, it undermines your ability to think rationally.”
In 3.11, Hannibal sends Francis after Molly and Walter. Will doesn’t really comfort them, we see clearer than ever what a wedge exists between them. Hannibal asks, “How is the wife?”, which is another display of blatant jealousy. Will gets it, and he can’t deny the truth any longer.
In 3.12, we have the exchange that should have settled the debates about romantic part of relationship once and for all. Bedelia compares herself and Will to Hannibal/Bluebeard’s wives, and mentions how she would have preferred to be the last — the one that Will is. Will asks, “Is Hannibal in love with me?”, and Bedelia replies, “Could he daily feel a stab of hunger for you, and find nourishment at the very sight of you? Yes. But do you ache for him?” Will’s look and his silence speak volumes as everything fades to black slowly. This is it, the textually explicit confirmation. Fans didn’t come up with the idea that Will and Hannibal are in love, it was stated directly on screen, several times.
Shortly before the confession, Bedelia says, "It excites him, knowing that you marked in this particular way." Personally, I always felt some sexual subtext in this phrase, and it is confirmed when we regard the similar scene in the book. Clarice gets sperm on her face and these same words sound. Granted, the situations are very different, but it proves that the phrase does indeed have sexual connotations, and it was deliberately planned like this.
Will devises a complicated and deadly plan after this. He sets up Chilton, which can be seen as courting gift to Hannibal, and in 3.13, he lies to everyone to break Hannibal out of prison. Bedelia calls him out on it once again, saying, "Can't live with him. Can't live without him." Will doesn't deny it - he confirms it. When Hannibal says he'll agree to the plan if Will says 'please', Will does it - in an obviously flirting way. Hannibal calls him a 'cunning boy', which is once again obvious flirting, especially considering the way he says it. His plan results in the deaths of numerous officers, but Hannibal is free. We have another romantic trope where Hannibal pretends that Will is a hitchhiker and asks if he’s going his way. In the house, they have another loaded conversation where Will admits that he doesn’t think he can save itself, and that it’s fine.
Predictably, Will can’t handle seeing Hannibal killed, so he reaches for his gun. We know the rest. At the cliff, Will finally accepts the truth, and he gives the fate a chance to stop both of them or to set them free. They fall into the ocean under the Love Crime song, and since the water symbolizes reborn, we can guess what happens after that.
Post-credits scene indicates that Will and Hannibal have paid a visit to Bedelia and are in the process of eating her while she’s hiding the fork to stab one of them as he approaches. The deleted epilogue to the series shows that they are in perfect harmony now.")
Who's too lazy to read all of that, you can just check the quotes below and watch some fan videos where direct lines from canon are presented. My two favorites:
Reciprocity
Crazy in love
QUOTES
Initially, during S1, Bryan said he wanted to explore the idea of “heterosexual male friendship”. However, he later admitted that he was worried about negative homosexual stereotypes surrounding the imbalance in power in the relationship between Will and Hannibal, and in the podcast due to the beginning of American Gods, he confessed that he “wanted to approach “Hannibal” from the angle that no one has explored before — the angle of romance”.
During the airing of S2-S3, and beyond, Bryan was the one who pointed out romantic and even sexual subtext, and promoted Hannigram further. The cliff scene is officially labeled as "Kiss_alts".
Their love is queer
A collection
Canon. Original tweet is deleted, so only Bryan's is left. The person asked him to say whether Hannigram is canon.
Falling
Last wife
They Flip
Always
Will and Hannibal survived the Fall
Mere teasing, but it shows that Bryan does acknowledge sexual tension between Will and Hannibal: They did change clothes as well as Their lips were busy (to the question of what Will and Hannibal were doing in the car in TWOTL).
Bryan's favorite quote from the show: Is Hannibal in love with me?
Finally, the shirt Bryan wore at one of the latest meetings
Hugh on why it took Will so long to realize Hannibal is in love with him
Hugh on Will's reaction to Bedelia's answer about Hannibal being in love with him: ‘Oh crap, maybe this thing I’m feeling is love’
Hugh: Relief from loneliness
Hugh: It's romance
Mads: It was love at the first sight
You know better than to breed
Will Graham is covered in Hannibal’s body fluids
Bryan: I feel one is omnisexual and one is heterosexual and there's a lot of influence going back and forth, who knows with a six pack of beer what would happen: http://uproxx.com/sepinwall/hannibal-creator-i-wanted-to-be-sure-we-had-an-ending-for-the-story/
To the question of whether explicit Hannigram was a part of the initial plan, Bryan Fuller stated: "No, it naturally evolved because I guess I was absorbing so much of Mads and Hugh's performance, which felt like it was growing in intimacy, and it would have been inauthentic not to address it. Because all of these characters, and particularly Bedelia, was able to call out what she had witnessed [between Hannibal and Will], it seemed like a natural conclusion. I remember when I turned in the rewrite pages where Will asks Bedelia if Hannibal is in love with him, I got a note from Don Mancini, one of our writers who was always pushing for more homosexual text – not just context or subtext but text, text, text – and he was like, "I'm so glad you put that in there! They said it! They said it!" http://www.digitalspy.com/tv/hannibal/interviews/a667077/hannibal-bryan-fuller-talks-season-4-sexual-fluidity-and-how-will-became-clarice-starling/
Discussing what motivated him to verbally acknowledge the romance between Will and Hannibal, Fuller mentioned: "It felt like we had to s–t or get off the pot, ultimately, because there had been so much going on between these two men that when Will asks, "Is Hannibal Lecter in love with me?" it is very much about death and the romance between these two men. There is a quality to connections that go above and beyond sexuality. You can have this intimate connection with somebody that then causes you to wonder where the lines of your own sexuality are. And we didn't quite broach the sexuality. It was certainly suggested, but the love is absolutely on the table." http://tvline.com/2015/08/29/hannibal-series-finale-will-lecter-cliff-bryan-fuller-interview-season-4/
Remembering how the song for the finale of the series was created, Fuller said: "It was interesting. She [Siouxsie Sioux] was like, "I want to write this song, and what are the things I should really be thinking about?" And I was like, "this is a love story. A love story between a full-fledged psychopath and someone who has nascent psychopathic abilities." Actually, Hannibal Lecter is not a psychopath; he's something else entirely. But it's a love relationship between two men: one of them is a cannibal, and one of them understands those cannibalistic instincts all too well." http://uproxx.com/sepinwall/hannibal-creator-i-wanted-to-be-sure-we-had-an-ending-for-the-story/
Bryan Fuller: "Clarice never, until the end of Hannibal, submitted to that romance, whereas Will seemed to be on a slippery slope right from the beginning, so there's a contrast to be drawn between them." http://www.digitalspy.com/tv/hannibal/interviews/a667077/hannibal-bryan-fuller-talks-season-4-sexual-fluidity-and-how-will-became-clarice-starling/
Bryan in the commentary: "“After killing Francis Dolarhyde with Hannibal Lecter, he realizes this is exactly what Hannibal Lecter has wanted all along. He has wanted a partner in crime - a murder husband, as it were - and the sad truth of it all is that Hannibal was right. Will did enjoy it. Will thought it was a beautiful, powerful thing." https://omnisexualhanniballecter.tumblr.com/post/134099645797/after-killing-francis-dolarhyde-with-hannibal
Hugh during PaleyFest 2014 (prior to S3): "They are in love or they love each other, that's unquestionable. I think it's a platonic love... but it's rich in... (audience and cast laughs) Ok, we've done two seasons so far... so platonic love and they recognize each other as unique in the world, they reflect each other in a way, it's like profound recognition and relief that comes with it. And they are good looking guys." Mads agrees: "Exactly. Losing him or what Hannibal did with him in the two seasons is probably the closest he has ever been to loving anyone. And what love means in his universe we have to see later on. But it's heartbreaking everything that happens to poor Will is also heartbreaking for Hannibal."
Hugh: You could say that during the second half [of season three]-I mean, obviously we’re jumping ahead here, but Will comes back to Hannibal. He’s now got this family, and Will, independently and pretty quickly, starts coming to the conclusion that it’s not sustainable for him to have that family. Like, he’s not the guy. He’s not the right person to be able to look after them, to live with them. It’s not compatible with who he really is. And you could argue that Hannibal is just driving him more quickly to come to that realization. So in that sense, it is kind of brutal, tough love. His love is saying, “Know thyself.” Mads: As Hugh is saying, it’s unavoidable. It’s going to happen sooner or later. Might as well happen sooner, before he’s stuck. [Interview http://oh-dr-lecter.tumblr.com/post/129331180920/theyll-say-were-in-love-fangoria-august-2015]
Mads Mikkelsen on ‘Which scene has been the defining moment?'
"Probably one of the moments early on, maybe mid first season, where I spend some quality time in therapy session with Hugh and he’s flying away thinking about something and I have the chance, Hannibal has the chance, to watch him. And he becomes very warm watching him. He sees not only this brilliant person but he sees something he loves. I think that is the definition of Hannibal." [https://twitter.com/noforts/status/1071952333221888000]
Bryan and Hugh discussing Will's motivation in TWOTL at the cliff and beyond (in the commentary to S3):
Hugh: The point was that it wasn't the horror that drove Will to do this, the horror was secondary, it was a horror in reaction to how much he loved what happened between him and Hannibal. We have seen so many moments of Will is covered in blood and shaking and horrified and this moment he suddenly realizes it is his true self.
Bryan: I remember the day you shot the closeups, you both came running to me and I remember Mads was particularly giddy, giddy as a schoolgirl, he said we really went for it, we really went for the love story, we almost kissed and it's all there and you can use it.
Hugh: We had to push in that direction so that there is no point pretending otherwise.
About Bedelia's leg:
Bryan: The false interpretation is she cut her leg which is a crazier version of Bedelia than I understand. Of course the intention is they survived and there are three place settings."
Hugh, answering the question what is happening to Will and Hannibal now: "Let's just say they're on a beach somewhere. [Interviewer] Just chilling on a beach? [Dancy] Yeah, just chilling on a beach. Drinking something out of a coconut."
Also, the reports from people who visited one of the cons mentioned the following."Today at Red Dragon Con it was announced by Mads that Hannibal and Will are now married, have dogs which he calls “the ugly carpets” of the relationship, and live in seclusion for 4 years before hunting together." Regardless of whether it is going to come to fruition or not, this is how Mads imagines Will and Hannibal's life Post Fall.
Mads in May 2018:
"“I think that Hannibal and Will… they’re not really alive without each other. They are a piece of the puzzle for the other one’s soul.”
A great video where Mads talks about Hannibal and his feelings in S2 final.
Question: Was Hannibal suspicious of Will before he smelled Freddie Lounds or was he completely clueless about it at that point?
Mads: Hannibal doesn't have a masterplan. He's living from day to day and he's seeing possibilities and opportunities, and one of them is Will Graham, who he is obviously in love with, in a certain way - that way. But I think at that time, Hannibal has been blinded by Will Graham. He believes truly that he will walk down the path with the light, hand in hand, with Will - and Abigail. That's his dream, that's what he wants, and I think it does surprise him and it does break his heart. It is a turning point for Hannibal when he becomes the cleaning man instead of the man who loves. Until then, he'd been a man full of love, and after that, I think he is... slightly angry. It was a surprise for him. He was tricked.He got blinded by love.
Interesting interview bit:
IGN: Reba’s final scene was another where you got to really pull direct quotes from the book. But here, I was reading it as Will can also be projecting about himself, as he talks about what it might be like to have a serial killer in love with you. Was that in your mind too, given you had these great quotes from the book but that it could definitely be maybe be a bit more of an echo here, given the situation.?
Fuller: Oh, absolutely. It was a great synchronicity of events where everything that Will was saying to Reba in the novel actually applies to Will Graham in the television series. So there was the want of seeing that scene because I haven’t seen it in any of the adaptations where we get to see Reba, post all of this, and have a quiet moment between the two people who were in love with serial killers.
Bryan: "My ship is canon" (https://twitter.com/BryanFuller/status/1072599788581998593)
Bryan about Will and Hannibal's relationship: "Will accepts who Hannibal is. It’s also narcissistic, in the way that we fall in love with people who make us feel better about ourselves and who make us feel like we’re a better version of ourselves. That makes us feel more secure in our bodies, in the dysmorphia of who you are on the inside versus who you project on the outside. That disconnect narrows dramatically when somebody sees you, understands you, accepts you and loves you. It’s transcendent." (http://collider.com/bryan-fuller-hannibal-silence-of-the-lambs-interview/)
Bryan about Will's reasons for jumping, surviving, and attacking Bedelia with Hannibal: "I think one of the reasons it seemed so organic for Will to go over the cliff with Hannibal at the end was that, in his mind, as he understood the universe in his world, he had peaked. It’s also stopping a monster and stopping himself from becoming a monster, but I think part of him was thinking, “That was beautiful. I don’t think I can do that again and feel as high as I do now.” Everything overwhelmed him and he went over that cliff because there was an apex to his experience, in a way that was poetic and dramatic. ... The kind of suicide where somebody jumps off a bridge, part of them hopes they survive and part of them wants to be over. I think a lot of people are hoping for some percentage of survival that may change them because they’re looking for change within themselves. So, I think there was some bit of that. For the ending with Gillian [Anderson], there are two place settings for a reason." (http://collider.com/bryan-fuller-hannibal-silence-of-the-lambs-interview/)
Bryan about Will and Hannibal's relationship in S1: The relationship between Will and Hannibal in this first season is the seduction. It is Hannibal Lecter recognizing in Will Graham for the first time in anyone that he has ever encountered in his life the opportunity for a friendship, a real friendship, because he sees something in Will Graham that he also sees in himself. They are both unique in their crazy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzU7O7Q0R5U)
Hugh about the start of Will and Hannibal's relationship: "It’s an instant love between them, it is as if Will met not the best chess player in the world, but the only absolute, the only person he can play with, that enters in the room - or rather, in his life - with a chessboard in hand, and this provokes in him a pleasure and an incredible relief. When we find Will at the beginning of the second season, he was betrayed and thrown in jail, so he is not in a really enviable situation, but the connection he had with Hannibal has remained unchanged, it is something which he can not get rid of. This time, however, he manipulates their connection because Hannibal still needs him and their friendship, but beyond the practical utility must be said that the bond with Hannibal is, even for Will, a source of uncontrolled, involuntary pleasure.”
Mads about the start of relationship: "Hannibal sees an opportunity in this young man. And so he can hopefully, one day, walk hand in hand down the road of life." https://k-s-morgan.tumblr.com/post/187266698258/hannibal-sees-an-opportunity-in-this-young-man
Mads during S1: "When he sees Will, he recognizes himself to a degree. [Hannibal] has empathy, but [he] uses it as a tool; Will has empathy, but he doesn’t know what to do with it. Lecter sees an opportunity to open this man’s eyes and see his full potential realized. And he also sees the opportunity for a friend, which is probably not what he’s had too many of. Even though Hannibal is the puppeteer, he really loves Will." https://screencrush.com/hannibal-lunch-preview/?utm_source=tsmclip&utm_medium=referral
Bryan: "The tricky thing with this show is that it is a story about two men and their relationship. But if it were just about male point of views, it wouldn’t be interesting. I feel like we haven’t done as good of a job, in Season 2, of representing the female characters and their point of view of the world. I think there’s a greater opportunity in Season 3 to do that, and do more of that. In Season 2, we knew the story was about these two guys, and everybody else around them were pawns. Jack Crawford was a pawn. Alana Bloom was a pawn. It was all about what was between Hannibal and Will Graham." https://collider.com/hannibal-season-3-details-filming-europe/
Bryan about S4: I'm still hoping for more Murder Husband adventures!
source: https://www.reddit.com/r/HannibalTV/comments/72bk89/the_story_of_how_hannigram_became_canon_to_those/
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THOUGHTS ON D3
(some of these may be points about stuff we already knew going into it but like now that weve gotten to see it all together its easier to discuss)
- i like what they did with audrey’s plot. her and mal’s relationship did feel pretty unresolved after d1 so im glad they went this route. not to mention being able to bring her back after her being absent in the second. also i like the message that it gave off about being able to be good or bad regardless of where you come from
- i loved hades! he was so fun and i loved how things ended up with him. and DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO WAS AWESOME probably my fav song. but i cant say im a huge fan of him being mal’s dad. like i loved the way their relationship played out but while the descendants fan in me is happy the disney stickler thinks its a bit too much creative license for them to make a kid the child of two disney characters from two different movies. it also kinda like...almost invalidates her character of “maleficent’s daughter” now shes the daughter of two villains and it?? feels different?? if that makes sense?? could the other VKs possibly have another villain as their other parent?? who knows. also i wish they hadn’t made it so obvious so early like people guessed this A YEAR AND A HALF AGO WHEN THE TEASER CAME OUT. maybe had it just been a few months it wouldnt have been as bad but yeesh. it made the shock factor...well, almost non-existant.
- continuing on their relationship, i thought tackling the idea of an absentee dad was a bold move for a movie like this and i applaud it. not to mention with an upbeat musical number? they really did that
- i loved celia too!! i was afraid she was gonna be more bad news than she was but she was super cute and sweet. loved her friendship with dizzy. and loved getting to see more of dizzy! and even though dr facilier wasnt in it much he was fun. i thought it was sweet that he and celia seemed to have a good relationship. im also glad we got to see lady tremaine! but wheres drizella lol
- also in regards to hades and celia, i liked that they brought in two more movies into the universe that hadnt yet been acknowledged (not counting wicked world or the books). i love both hercules and princess and the frog and while i wouldnt call them underrated theyre not quite as mainstream as some of the other movies in the descendants universe so im happy with that.
- on the other hand, i dont really like it when they get more kids from movies that they already have kids from. in this case, squeaky and squirmy. gil seemed out of place to me when i first watched d2, especially cuz like why would gastons son be a pirate, but since he had some funny lines with ben (in this movie too!) it was worth it. but squeaky and squirmy had no lines with harry? THEY ALMOST DIDNT HAVE ANY LINES AT ALL??? so why couldnt they have had them be kids from a movie they hadnt used yet? the more the merrier imo. idk.
- mal and uma repairing their relationship was like the highlight for me ugh it was so good. i think we all had a feeling that would happen (not just from speculation but from set pics and whatnot) but it felt satisfying regardless. uma saying “im right here mal you got this”? love that
- WE LOVE MORE DRAGON MAL. EVEN MORE THAN IN D2. WE LOVE THAT A LOT.
- WE ALSO LOVE MORE DUDE. OK SO MAYBE THATS JUST ME BUT SCREW IT I LOVE TALKING DOGS SO IM GLAD HE STILL TALKED. DOVE CAMERON AND A TALKING DOG IN THE SAME MOVIE IS BASICALLY PANDERING TO ME OK
- WE ALSO LOVE MALVIE CONTENT!!! love that evie was the only one who knew hades was her dad AND LOVE THAT THEY SAID I LOVE YOU TO EACH OTHER LIKE DAMN. AND DURING MY ONCE UPON A TIME WHEN MAL LIKE CARESSES HER FACE??? LIKE HER INTERACTION WITH HER WAS MORE INTENSE THAN WITH ANYONE ELSE EVEN BEN??? GOOD SHIT
- OK I KNEW ABOUT THE DID I MENTION REPRISE AS OF A FEW DAYS AGO BUT IM A SLUT FOR PARALLELS SO THAT STILL KILLED ME
- any parallels killed me. especially, ofc, ending with “cuz were rotten...to the core” (tho i was hoping the rotten remix thats on the soundtrack would be in the movie)
- loved getting more harry and gil content. gil is so blissfully stupid and precious and i love him and harry is so chaotic and i love him too
- and just...love the sea three bonding with the core four. also it felt well paced. wasnt rushed, had its moments to slowly get us there (mal+uma, jay+gil+harry) it felt like it went just the way it was supposed to.
- the whole series of events felt well paced and well ordered
- tbh i think its hilarious how chad’s douche baggery never dies down. i mean points for consistency i guess
- (did anyone catch the sign on the isle that mentioned monstro? good easter egg)
- (im really going out of order ik)
- one kiss was fun and cute, but i never felt like doug and evie were like...behind in their relationship? if anything i thought as of d2 their relationship was more stable than that of mal and ben
- night falls was a little silly and felt a little too similar to its goin down to me but it served a purpose and it was still fun
- and ofc it was so bittersweet to watch cam. the dedications were heart-wrenching but beautiful.
overall it really could not have been better! great new characters, great development on the characters we love, great soundtrack, and, most importantly, a story that perfectly wraps up the franchise. its hard to get a trilogy right. i love a lot of trilogies but a lot of them have some major flaws. with like say the kung fu panda movies, the 2nd and 3rd feel like theyre about very different things than the first. it doesnt feel like its telling one cohesive story. some have a second that feels unimportant to be between the 1st and 3rd. this just felt like perfectly coming full circle. everything from the beginning of the first movie to the end of the third felt necessary to tell the story. no useless filler, all essential to the plot, adding more as we go and resolving more, but having a hell of a lot of fun the entire time. i remember d2 being one of the most, if not the most, satisfying sequels ive ever seen. maybe part of that has to do with descendants being such a main fandom of mine when it came out, but sometimes, even new additions to my main fandoms can disappoint. these sequels really haven’t. part of that may just have to do with my love for the franchise regardless of the direction it goes in, but i know that it also has to do with just a great job in storytelling. continuing the story and wrapping it up just right. when the first one came out, we didn’t know it would be a trilogy. it works great as a standalone movie, but when you see the third one, you would think it was intended this way from the beginning, which honestly gives it even more power.
it breaks my heart to let this franchise go, but ofc in mal’s words “this is not the end.” with it just coming out, that means its just the beginning of discussions, gifs, memes, fanart, and all that fun stuff. so lets jump right in!
and, as always, every bit of love in my heart goes to cam tonight. we still miss you endlessly and we always will.
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Yugioh S3 Ep 36-37: Local Mom-Friend’s Weird Trick, Doctors Hate Him
Hey y’all it’s a surprise midweek post because I’m in Canada this weekend woo. Surprised I even got this post done, TBH, I finally get some time where I’m not commuting around to and from San Francisco or corralling small children and I can just sit at my computer and focus and have some peace and quiet and I got--a mysterious sickness from all those kids! *yay* So, since I can’t really focus on anything, I’ll type in here and see if any of my words make any sense at all and hopefully I won’t go on some weird ass tangent like I tend to do like every other post.
So Yugi is still dueling Kaiba, much like he has for the past like...it feels like 4 years. I know I’ve only seen 3 seasons but this is...this is a really long duel. Maybe because there was a month-long break for me in the middle, (during which I watched the entirety of Evangelion, 2 Seasons of Gotham, Stranger Things S3, and the disappointing season of One Punch Man so like...I’ve had some time away from Yugioh) or maybe...maybe it’s because they’re actually playing card mechanics that go more in depth...
But yeah, despite everything, they’re still dueling.
And honestly, I’m looking at that episode number above me and it’s like...so there’s this Kaiba and Yugi Duel and then...only one more duel, right? Is it going to be a ten episode duel? Like unless Rebecca comes back for a weird cameo like...how...?
Whatever, we’ll get there when we get there.
Anyways, everyone who’s been avoiding this duel like the plague is down with the plague victims in the hospital. That’s where Tristan gets a bright idea and it’s one of his dumber ones, believe it or not.
Man, I forgot that comatose Joey Wheeler is still wearing that duel disk Pharaoh slapped on him during all this too, haha.
Also, why does he have to have all these pectoral suction cups while they just kinda...gave up on Mai? I mean I know they can’t show boobies on a Y7 show but like...it really feels like the doctor just kinda shrugged at Mai and was like “I only have one set of boob suction cups, I really didn’t think I’d need more than that, if at all.”
(read more under the cut)
And so Tristan decides that if Joey is at the window which is like...600 ft below Yugi Muto’s duel, a duel you can’t...really see from the ground...then Joey Wheeler will arise.
I mean, it’s gonna work, it’s just also kind of laughable that Joey wasn’t able to hear any of this nonsense from the bed that is two feet away from the window.
But wtv, it’s very dramatic and Tristan gets to cry some more and feel useful I guess.
The haunted underwear mannequin plot-thread was dumped between that episode and this one, and I’m kinda bummed out that more things haven’t turned into haunted underwear mannequins.
Instead of horrific underwear mannequins, Joey’s dream has gone back to the standard fare of Joey picking on middle schoolers and wearing a much better outfit than he has for most of this show.
I will super miss Joey in a fitted suit. Like, soak it allll in horny preteens, because pretty soon, Joey Wheeler will be back in that scruffy oversized T-shirt just like...well, just like how a teenager would be. I mean there’s some REASONS Mai can’t date Joey, but the fact he has a fitted suit he refuses to ever wear is one of the top reasons right under, youknow, the fact he’d need a fake ID to ever go out with her.
It’s kind of amazing actually, how my whole life I kinda just figured this was a show of insane character designs, only to find out when I actually watch the show that there is like a ... REALLY horny line just going all the way through it.
Honestly, me trying to figure out how and when this kid’s show got so damn horny has been a very big mystery I’ve been trying to solve in the background this entire time. Like, I was told “yeah the Yugioh boys get very attractive.” and I was like “ehhhhhhhh I don’t even know what you’re talking about” but, little by little over the past 3 seasons, these animators are starting to draw these boys just waaaaaaay older than these kids actually are. I’m starting to see what people are saying. It’s still not my thing, personally, but uh yeah I can see how this spawned all that fanart now.
Anyways, speaking of, the other day a friend of mine’s sister was talking about how she, as a millennial, has been wired to love very tall skinny boys in skinny pants and very long coats with popped collars and I immediately was like “Lol are you admitting to Seto Kaiba?”
And she meant Cumberbatch Sherlock, LOLOLOLOL.
And so, back on the duel field we got Seto Kaiba, who’s a lot like Sherlock except a Sherlock who is suffering from both short term and long term memory loss. And, who does cards instead of heroin.
They probably both play violin.
Kaiba, despite having arc after arc where his little brother is his main motivation, has decided to just ditch Mokuba and it’s like...either he’s psyching Yugi out or Seto Kaiba forgot he had a brother for a little bit. He might...he might have forgotten. Mokuba is standing behind him, after all.
And so, because Joey is facing Yugi at just the right moment and at just the right time, somehow he can do his little force ability again and just do this:
Thanks, hallucination!Joey.
And out he goes, drawn like a romance anime character lol.
Anyways, he’s back to being a slob so...welcome back, wrinkle shirt, it’s been a while.
And then Joey looks around and actually said this:
“Did someone get hurt?” He asks, after being burned, electrocuted AND drowned just yesterday.
I was kinda very much hoping Tristan would deck him out.
Glad that, as predicted, the moment Mai doesn’t need to be Joey’s main motivation anymore, the moment he puts the cards away, she may as well not even exist. This show and the way they write straight romances.
Please admire the matching lace up boots on the Kaiba Corp’s Emergency Squad. This would be the most obscure Cosplay on earth but maybe the most wearable Yugioh cosplay outside of Bandit Keith because you wouldn’t need a 400 dollar wig.
And then for some reason Tea just loses her mind and has a complete breakdown. She’s been kind of a mess since Yugi walked out like 2 episodes ago, which seems kind of...I dunno, both out of character but very much in character at the same time. I mean we’re assuming they “have” a relationship it’s just never actually say that they do, so her acting like her man is dead is kinda like...it still feels like it comes out of freakin nowhere.
Anyways, Tea who is strong enough to lift this entire plane and who is, in fact, possessed by at least 2 powerful ghosts (remember Shadi did spends some time there and he did NOT like it), is now a seeping crying mess that refuses to lose any more of her hospital-prone boys.
I mean they were going to go anyway, but they let Tea pretend she had any control over that and kind of glazed over this.
Back in this game that no one else is really watching anymore, Seto Kaiba is still monologuing about his entire life story that he’s never gotten any therapy for, except for that time his evil step brother accidentally gave him therapy.
Quite upset we never see the color of Mokuba’s little tuxedo.
Course...didn’t...Noah wear a little tuxedo in that same exact shape? I mean it’s a silly headcanon but youknow...it could be a yellow tuxedo they just happened to find in the back of the closet.
And it’s at this point that Mokuba just lost his lid. I’m so used to Mokuba unconditionally supporting his crazy brother that this would have been the biggest anime betrayal of the whole series, if Mokuba had said any of this outloud (which he wisely did not).
It was like...damn Mokuba. He actually said something along the lines of “I liked you better when you were poor” and it was like. Holy cow, Mokuba. Damn.
Anyway, a bunch of card stuff happens, and Pharaoh has decided that Seto has too much anger in his heart, and that’s why he will lose. Then, Pharaoh played the card proof for how angry Seto is, and if I actually payed any attention to cards, it would have been very meaningful.
But anyways, kudos to Pharaoh on not mind-wiping Seto Kaiba this time or launching him directly off this very tall tower like he attempted to do last time. They actually played a game start to finish with eachother and nothing exploded except for every television in Domino. Progress.
and then Mokuba started crying and initially I thought...wouldn’t he have WANTED his brother to lose but then I kind of remembered oh yeah now Mokuba has to deal with this oncoming aftermath.
RIP Mokuba, I guess.
Anyway, I’m out of town for the rest of the weekend, escaping to the far North to get away from the weather. I should be back next weekend, but if I’m not, I was probably eaten by a bear. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Anyway, if you just got here, this is a link to my Yugioh recaps in Chrono order from the beginning.
#ygo#yugioh#episode recap#photo recap#yugioh recap#S3 Ep36#S3 Ep37#Mokuba#Seto Kaiba#Yugi Muto#the return of the orphanage that shows up every three episodes because Seto just can't#He has to tell his life story every 3 episodes or he himself will forget#so I guess the rest of the cast just has to deal with it#Tea Gardner#Joey Wheeler#Is No longer in a Coma congrats welcome to hell#Tristan Taylor#A couple of confused Doctors#some of which are in hard hats#Mai Valentine#Who is still in the refridgerator RIP#Serenity Wheeler#Guest Appearance by Grandpa
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In 280 Characters or Less
sheith, 2.2k, g, rptron
Inspired by the Voltron rp accounts on Twitter [read on ao3]
“Just… leave me here. Don't come any closer.”
Shiro can't help the startled bark of nervous laughter that leaves him as he stares at Keith's prone form on the floor of the room — their room (and that's still weird to say). His eyes drift to the discarded datapad beside him and Shiro's cheeks flame again. It's honestly a miracle Keith didn't break this one too, or put a hole in the roof when he had thrown it in the air in horrified alarm. It would have been Shiro's fault, he's willing to admit, but he truly hadn't meant to startle him. It's just… how else was he supposed to react to an image like that on Keith's screen? The likeness had been uncanny, Shiro would give the artist that, even if it had been a bit unsettling to see his own face staring lovingly back at him. But he isn't so sure that Steve Rogers would approve of that kind of take on his signature Captain America outfit. If nothing else it seemed a little... impractical for any kind of real combat. He certainly wouldn't go anywhere particularly cold in a uniform like that, lest hypothermia were the mission. Undoubtedly, being the Garrison’s golden boy comes with a lot of perks - bigger rooms, special considerations, interesting missions... Gratuitous fanart isn't exactly one Shiro would count among those.
“It's… it's really not that bad,” he tries to assure, but Keith’s answering groan into the carpet lets him know he's missed the mark.
He hovers for a moment before he decides to leave Keith to wallow in his misery, shedding his jacket and stepping over him to search for leftovers in the kitchenette. By the time he sits down in front of twice reheated curry, his datapad pings in his pocket, and he snorts into the bowl when he checks the notification.
peith
just let me die
It erases his lingering embarrassment immediately. He's still not quite too sure what it is about Twitter that makes Keith so dramatic, but his followers are hardly ones to complain. The remark already has dozens of likes and replies, and Shiro decides to add his own, amused.
You're not dying. It's just a misunderstanding.
… Why is everyone telling you F?
His datapad pings again while he's putting away his dishes, and he pauses in the space between the kitchen and bathroom to stare at where Keith hasn't moved, suppressing a laugh.
peith
stab me
Shiro knows it's a little silly, standing only a few feet away and talking like this, but he types a response anyway.
..... You really just want to lay face down on the floor like that?
Shiro doesn't bother to hold back his laughter when Keith's head pops up at the sound of his datapad buzzing on the ground beside him.
peith replying to @tshiro01
yes
The replies from Keith's other followers go unnoticed.
I'll lay on you if you keep that up.
“I'm having a shower,” he announces out loud. Keith grunts a response, but seems willing to keep up the act, still on the ground when Shiro closes the door. He's down to his underwear in the bathroom when his datapad pings again, and compulsively, he checks it as his prosthetic floats to the shower taps.
peith replying to @tshiro01
suffocate me
Shiro is sure he'll be able to hear him laughing from the other side of the door.
You're terrible.
I'm not going to do that.
The device pings again but he ignores it. At this rate he'll never get in the damn shower. He knows the app is teetering on the edge of addition, and he'll have to take care to make sure it doesn't impact his work. It's already impacted his personal life, in the most earth shattering of ways, thanks to just a few innocent tweets. Even here, in the bathroom, he can see the little ways Keith has now wormed his way into his private space. His soap in the dish, his hairbands on the floor, his toothbrush next to his by the basin. A welcome invasion. Shiro is only all to willing to let Keith conquer to his heart's content. And really that's how they found themselves in this little arrangement in the first place. He rushes the shower maybe a little more than he should to see what Keith has written back, pulling on his boxers and a shirt while he juggles his datapad.
peith replying to @tshiro01
wow
you said you would
Shiro almost trips and drops the device, choking on nothing. Without the benefit of verbal tone, Shiro knows he's reading too much into it. But sometimes Keith seems so bold, and he can't help but wonder if there's a little more to his teasing words. He fights down the heat in his cheeks, and tries to channel a little of that boldness for himself. Keith is still on the floor in his display of shame when he opens the door, and Shiro uses it to his advantage when he doesn't do much as shift to acknowledge his return. With purpose, he strides over to him, datapad still in hand. Keith only belatedly realises his intent when he plants his feet either side of his hips, and Shiro catches a flash of surprise thrown over his shoulder before he crashes down on top of him. The squeak Keith makes is hardly dignified, but neither is Shiro’s landing, copping an elbow to the belly for his troubles. He commits to the bit though, settling his weight as Keith wriggles in protest beneath him, and propping his chin on the top of his head so he can keep working through his reports on his datapad.
“You asked for this,” he reminds him gleefully, and Keith groans, resting his head on his forearm.
“Yeah kinda,” he concedes with a sigh, opening up the little blue application on his screen again. Shiro can see him flicking through his feed absently from his position, and he makes the conscious decision to try not to use that to his advantage to spy. Instead, he tries to address one of the many elephants in the room.
“So… about your… art…”
“Nope,” Keith cuts in loudly, and that's the end of that. Shiro hides a grin in his hair as he flicks through Atlas' latest flight stats. They lay in silence, and he's just starting to find a rhythm with his reports when a notification appears at the top of his screen.
peith
this is good
Shiro hopes Keith doesn't feel his heart sputter against his spine. He lets the notification hide itself, trying to stay focused. And he succeeds for the most part. But occasionally he feels Keith take in a deeper breath that makes him feel lightheaded, or he shifts his hips under him and Shiro has to clamp down on the threat of heat in his belly. The latter starts happening at more frequent intervals until Shiro thinks he might have to spring away, but then another notification flashes up on the top of his screen.
peith
switch I can't breathe
Shiro bursts into laughter, waiting until he has hit out an adequate response from his emoji keyboard before rolling off of him. He's not even surprised when Keith rolls with him to sprawl across his chest, and his prosthetic rests at his back to secure him without missing a beat. Shiro isn't sure how it happened, but somehow this has become their new normal. Keith settles into the crook of his neck with a huff and Shiro draws absent patterns over the bumps of his spine while he reads.
No more notifications come after that. It takes Shiro at least three reports and far too much procrastination on his own Twitter feed before he realises Keith has barely moved at all.
“Keith?”
Shiro turns his head when he doesn't respond and is met with a vision of peace. It's cliché, but Keith is an angel when he sleeps he has learned these past few days, and right now the sight before him is simply Holy. The way his lashes fan delicately across his cheek, the inky fringe tussled haphazardly across his face, and the quiet breath that whispers between parted, chapped lips.
He could kiss those lips soft, he thinks for a fleeting moment. But he scolds himself the next. It would be terrible to take advantage. Unnoble. Not at all like the image Keith has of him. He opens up a new tweet to try to distract himself; maybe another #paladinpositivity gem of wisdom to calm him down.
What is happening?
It feels a bit like Twitter is mocking him. What is happening? In the span of just a few days, he's gone from focused Captain to absolute disaster. Where he once lived in closed quarters, he now shares with his best friend, the man he cares for most in the world, the one he loves all alone, and his life feels like it's been thrown into a spin. Feelings that were once allowed to be kept dormant have sprung to the surface with vengence, and Shiro doesn't know how long he can suppress them and keep them hidden until they erupt and devastate everything in their path. His philosophical words flee him, and instead he sees his bare thoughts compose themselves in front of him.
Must've tired himself out.
There are two beds, but he's asleep on me... on the floor.
He smiles at some of the responses. It is all a bit ridiculous really, and he can appreciate the humour in that. But then his thoughts drift a little more.
Ah.
Ah. Yes... He remembers now the fleeting brush of lips against his the night before. But that's not the same. Keith had asked. Maybe Shiro hadn't understood the question, teetering on the precipice of dreams, but permission was requested and granted nonetheless. It had almost been enough to shock him back from the grip of sleep. Weariness won out then though, and so instead it followed him into his slumber with images of azure eyes and warm skin and smiles that Shiro likes to fool himself are only his.
When Pidge's handle shows up in his notifications, his replies become a little more absent. A kiss like that doesn't mean the same to Keith, Shiro knows. His Keith has always been curious, and it seems Shiro can simply chalk his behaviour up to nothing more than that. In the dawn of the morning after, they had woke together, went their separate ways for the day and Keith had never breathed a single word of what he had stolen from Shiro at all. He had started to think that maybe he had imagined it all. But lying here, now, makes it feel all too familiar. Keith had kissed him, and now Shiro wants to balance the ledger, unaligned intentions and meanings be damned.
Keith's trust is a precious thing though, a rare gift offered to few. Shiro knows he's not overestimating himself when he thinks maybe he has the grand prize. Keith would never let his guard down like this with anybody else, maybe save Krolia. And trust doesn't automatically equate to… to the feelings he has. To violate that trust would truly be his greatest sin.
He is so close though, so very close. He can feel his heartbeat drum slow and assertive against his ribs while they lie chest to chest, feel the warmth of his body seep into cotton of his shirt. The tips of his fingers twitch restlessly for a moment before they grip the material beneath them, and it's almost as if Keith squeezes firm at his very heart.
Just one, Shiro tells himself, staring at the split in the middle of his lip. Just one, and I'll apologise in the morning.
It's not an easy thing, and maybe that should be enough to dissuade him. Lying supine hardly gives him the purchase he needs to lean forward into the angle he needs. But Shiro is far from a stranger to calculated risk. He runs featherlight fingers under the sharp line of his jaw, pausing under his chin. He holds his breath so he won't tremble, and then carefully - ever so carefully - he tips his face up to him.
He stills, staring at him a moment, both to ensure he doesn't wake and to take in his heavenly face. His guardian angel who had clawed his way through hell to save him again and again and again. When Keith doesn't even shiver at his touch, Shiro steels his nerves and stretches up just that tiny bit to bridge the gap between them. With the tenderness he deserves, he captures his bottom lip softly between his. It's only a heartbeat, but it feels like a lifetime more, and Shiro suddenly realises his mistake.
Just one… He will never be satisfied with just one.
He pulls back with a start, but Keith doesn't stir. Shiro isn't sure whether the sigh that leaves him is one of relief or disappointment.
“I love you,” he murmurs softly into the silence, because his heart might just burst with words unsaid.
Long after he pushes away the datapad and closes his eyes, Shiro dreams of the words whispered back to him, and of windburnt kisses returned in the dark.
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