#i miss being more active here but college is out to kill me

[seijismyrival]

Lil sketch I did of them instead of studying 😭

[xndrexcruz]

I beg pls make more Marc Bernal fanfics 🛐

Starting to Slowly See You

✮- pairing: marc bernal x barca staff fem!reader

✮- summary: as you navigate your position at fc barcelona, marc’s thoughtful gestures and quiet support slowly make you question if there’s more to your friendship than you realized. though his feelings remain unspoken, subtle hints leave you wondering if you’ve been missing something all along.

✮- warnings: slow burn and kinda oblivious reader

✮- author’s note: thank you sm for the request! i hope you like it, also sorry for not being active and not updating in a while i just started my college classes and i feel like they’re tryna kill us already. ALSOOO thank you sm for 200 followers love you guys

✮- chapter’s: {current!} next ⤏

Working at FC Barcelona is more than just a job-it was a dream come true. But the early mornings, late nights, and constant work could get exhausting. If there’s one thing that made things easier, it was Marc Bernal. He’s always around, in subtle ways that sometimes would make you wonder if all of it was just a coincidence.

You would often cross paths during his breaks from training with the rest of the team. He’d sometimes walk into your office, sweaty and tired, yet he always made time to say hi or talk to you even if it was for a few minutes. You often found him leaning against your desk, a charming smile on his face as he asks about how your day was or offering to help you on whatever you were working on at the time. You appreciated the company, even though you didn’t quite understand why he always seemed to go out of his way for you.

One day, after an exhausting session, Marc came in with a bottle of water and a berry parfait, setting them on your desk with a small grin. “I thought you might need a pick-me-up,” he said casually, though his eyes lingered on you for a moment longer than usual.

“Thank you, Marc,” you replied, flashing him a grateful smile before getting back to your work. You had never really noticed the way he watched you, a soft expression always on his face, as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the right words.

As the days continue to pass, these small but sweet gestures started to become more frequent. He brings you coffee when you had long meetings, waits for you after work just to walk you to your car, or would show up with your favorite snack when he knows you’ve been stressed out. You always excused his behavior as him being a good friend-after all, that’s what friends did, right?

One evening, after most of the staff had left to go to their families, you stayed behind at your desk, trying to finish up on a report you had due the next morning. The office is quiet, the only noice was the faint hum of the air conditioning in the building. You’re so focused on your report you didn’t notice Marc slowly enter the until he was right next to you.

“You’re still here?” he asks, startling you. “You work way too hard, Y/n, you should get home.”

You look up at him and smile, trying to ignore the flutter in your chest at the sound of his voice. “I’m just trying to get this done before tomorrow morning, I’ll go home once i’m done. What about you? Shouldn’t you be at home resting?”

He shrugs, leaning against your desk like he would every time he came into your office. “I thought I’d check on you before I left. See if you needed me to get you anything.”

You couldn’t help but laugh lightly at his words. “You’re always constantly checking on me, Marc. You worry too much.”

“Maybe I do,” he says softly, his chestnut-brown eyes holding yours off a second too long. There’s something in his gaze, something that makes your heart skip a beat, but before you can try figuring it out, he straightens up and throws you a smile. “But someone has to look out for you.”

You shake your head at his words, amused by his protectiveness. “I’m okay, really. But thanks for being so thoughtful. It means a lot to me.”

“Anytime,” he replies, his smile softening. “I’ll come see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow,” you say, watching him as he walks out of your office. You can’t help but feel a wave of warmth spread through you, but you just brushed it off as just Marc being the sweet guy he always was.

As the weeks pass by, you start noticing other small things too. Like how he’d always linger just a bit longer when he says goodbye, or how his touches-whether it was a hand on your shoulder or a brief brush past your fingers-seem to carry more weight than it did before. He was always there, throughout your day, quietly always supporting you in ways that were both comforting yet confusing.

It wasn’t until one particular day, after a long and challenging day, that you had finally started to piece things together. You’re packing up to leave for the day when Marc appeared at your side, like usual.

“You did real,y great today,” he spoke, his voice filled with genuine admiration. “Everyone was impressed, especially with how you handled that crisis.”

You smile tiredly at him. “Thank you, I’m just glad it’s over now.”

“How about I take you out for dinner tonight to celebrate?” he asks, a hopeful look in his eyes.

You hesitated, a familiar flutter in your chest. “Dinner? I don’t know Marc…”

“We can keep it simple,” he suggests, his tone light. “Just a quick bite, it’s nothing fancy. I just… I thought it would be nice.”

There was something in the way he said it that made you pause. For the first time, you wonder if there was more to his constant attention towards you, his thoughtful gestures, than you finally realized it. Was there something he wasn’t saying? Something you had been to blind to see?

“Okay,” you agreed softly, watching as his face lit up with a smile. “Dinner with you would be nice.”

As you sat across from him in the cozy restaurant he has chosen, you find yourself focusing on him more closely than you ever have before. The way he seemed to always know exactly what you need, the way he would look at you like you’re the only person in the room, the way he never pressured you but was always present, waiting, hoping.

You couldn’t be,o but wonder if there was something deeper behind all of it-something he’s been trying to tell you without actually having to say it. But even as the thoughts consumed your mind, you pushed it aside. Marc is your colleague, your friend, someone you can always count on. It was probably nothing more than that… right?

As the night went on, Marc’s laughter and easy conversation made you forget all your worries, and by the time ge walks you towards your car, your smiling ear to ear. But just as you’re about to say goodnight, he does something that makes your heart skip a beat.

He reaches out and gently tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering a moment longer than necessary. “Goodnight, Y/n,” he spoke softly, his voice low yet husky filled with something you couldn’t quite place.

“Goodnight, Marc,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. As you drove home, his touch lingered against your skin, you couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to it. Maybe, just maybe, there was more to Marc Bernal than meets the eye. But in the meantime, you decide to leave it as it is, happy to keep things as they are for now, even if your heard would beat faster whenever he was near.

[gilf-connoisseur]

please … tell me more about your au! it sounds so good.

I didn't think about this AU for long enough for it to be detailed. I usually come up with fun stories ideas, but I don't have enough dedication to develop them. But there is something I didn't mention. Please bear in mind I don't own any Gravity Falls related books. Everything I know about the multiverse is an amalgamation of tv show, official comics and my own imagination.

Stanley is drinking cheap booze in some interdimensional bar. It's hard to comprehend how time flows in there, but he is pretty sure it's his 15 years anniversary being in the multiverse. He is frustrated. Why hasn't his brother gotten him out of there yet? Is this complicated because of some scientific mumbo jumbo? Maybe to activate the portal again he has to wait for several years of cooldown? Or. Or he's not even going to try. He might left him to rot there. Stanley shudders at the thought. They were inseparable as children. But it's been so long. He is no longer capable to understand what his twin was thinking. Especially when he met him in his 30s. The poor guy was out of his mind. Who knows what was going on in his head? Stanley closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. One idea comes to his mind. If he doesn't return to his dimension or settle down somewhere he can call home after five more years he is going to kill himself. He doesn't get any younger. An old fuck doesn't have much of a chance to survive in these harsh conditions. His train of thought stops after he noticed someone sitting down on a bar stool next to him. Some guy in his 20s. He couldn't care less but then the guy speaks to the bartender and fuck Stanley missed that voice. It's Stanford. Stanley did came across other versions of Ford in the multiverse. But this one is in his college years. How? What the hell happened to him to end up here? This Ford looks so panicked and confused. He is probably just got here. Stanford bombards the bartender with questions and the latter is very unhappy with that. And can you blame them? They are not some kind of guide. They are here to serve drinks. So Stan distracts the twin to himself. He learns that his brother just got here and has little understanding of how the multiverse works. Stanley let his original twin down. Many times. But maybe he can help this one.

[shawtythatluvsurgut]

gunna have a video of me feeding my feedee up on my onlyfans soon. i’m thinking about starting it back up while i take a break from college because it was kind of empowering to get to own my kink in such a way. I also enjoy sharing that side of myself with all of you. subscription price will be between $8-$10/mo since my feedee is going to be collaborating with me on certain pieces of content. i will maybe begin gaining again once i get my health back in check, we’ll see. i want my muscle mommy build back, and to get that back i’ll have to pack on some weight. so we’ll see what happens with that. ;)

in the meantime and between-time, stay safe. especially on the internet. all of my old rules still apply for messaging me, but i will gradually get back to making regular content and posts. now that i am taking a break from school, i’m working more, but I also have free time on my hands when i’m not working. it feels really nice to get back into the swing of things. I’ve missed you all and I’ve missed the positive aspects of this community.

going forward, i’m just going to block people who talk shit to me or delete their comments (unless it’s of actual importance to discuss). i’m just done engaging with that shit. idk, i’m on new medication that seem to be actually working and i feel stable, so i feel ready to re-embrace this community with open arms.

a special thank you to everyone who continued engaging with me and communicating with me during my break. i appreciate all of your kind words more than you know, and if i didn’t respond to you it was because i didn’t want the answer to “hey how are you?” to be “i’m miserable. how are you?”. but I saw all of you - each and every message, comment, text, etc. - and i just want to say thank you. the people who still proceeded to message me with positivity are the reason I have decided I want to come back.

With all that being said, I hope you will all accept me back. I understand that some of you were upset that I left and didn’t understand my reasonings, but I hope we can reconcile our differences and i can gain your trust again. I’m not the angry person that I became when responding to hate messages, and that also influenced my time away. I could see that my demeanor on this hellsite was changing and I was getting more upset, angry and, honestly, afraid of going on here (let alone posting myself on here). However, that has changed. I’ve been working on being more optimistic and caring less about the negative opinions of others. Frankly, if someone doesn’t like me or my content they should just be an adult about it and either reach out to discuss that or ignore me. If they can’t do that, I believe they are childish and need to get a grip. There are some key things I’ve learned in life that I want to share with people who are as I described above:

- your comfort is not someone else’s responsibility. if it makes you uncomfortable, then don’t engage. It’s as simple as that.

- no one has to cater to your interests. everyone lives on their own agenda. your wants and desires do not take priority over the wants and desires of others. sure, there are some people who will cater to your every wish, but i’m definitely not one of them.

- similarly to above, your desires do not take priority over someone’s health. that includes both mental health and physical health. (death feedism is a thing if you are interested in someone wanting to gain while not caring about their health. this is not a death feedism page and i suggest you go search in the tags for that if it is what you are looking for. I do not want to kill my feedee, nor do I want him or I to gain enough weight to become immobile or at risk in any way. As hot as the idea is to me at times, we are both too active and work in active careers for that to be a realistic possibility for us. maybe someday i’ll get a stay at home job and get really big, or maybe someday he will. only time can tell. sorry for the length, i’m high. i’ll stfu now.

- people don’t care. no stranger online owes it to you to care that you don’t like their body, or that you don’t like this or that. it doesn’t matter because that person does not know you. there’s no point in wasting time caring about your negative comment unless it’s actually useful and constructive commentary.

So anyways, i’m back in business again. gonna post some FA art soon + start uploading to my OF again. I thank any of you who read this far and again I hope you can accept me back into the community.

Thanks,

Nico

[bluginkgo]

Quick announcement (before the diarrhea of information):

I'm gonna go on a semi-hiatus for a week or so. I'll still be around, just not posting any drawings. Need to replenish my energy and drawing reserves cause I'm dead >_<

Sleep behind scenes!

So... Ginkgo why the hell did this take you so long? Sorry, sorry 😅 Here's what happened. I got burned out after like 10 pages (specifically the manor backgrounds killed me, plus having the full gang in the story) and then got sick and was not feeling all that great. Working through the burn out, sick, AND college work on top was quite hard not gonna lie though, but I wanted to finish it ^^

Alright, now as for little unnecessary Easter eggs, I added as nods to the show and my other interests. ^_^

1. Undertale save point. Undertale had me sucked in for a good long while, and for some odd reason decided to re-emerge in a form of the star save. Made it purple for Uzi's effect over N. She made him more rebellious, so he started to question why is it his memories and dreams are strange/corrupted/missing instead of just going with the flow.

2. Ep3 nod. V and N have history, history that I wish we get to see. V was nicer, kinder, in my opinion, prior to the absolute solver going rampage. So it makes sense for them to have some sort of friendship at the VERY least. So I decides to give it a small spin to it too. A direct quote from ep3 ^_^

3. Ep 2 + 5 nod. I kinda pulled the moment when James dismissed N from ep2 together with events that follow after N leaves library in ep5. Chronologically, these events don't fit together, seeing as ep2 is when N first meets Cyn and ep5 is when she's already set up the massacre. But this is exactly what I was going for. N's memories are jumbled at best, so I took liberty in mixing, matching, and editing his memories just as the admin program would probably.

4. Absolute Solver symbols nod. My chats with @absolute-solver (sorry for annoying you with tag 😅) made me realize that the absolute solver ought to have more presence now. It's activated and running systems in the background for Uzi. Whiiiiich means that drawing absolute solver should start now. BUT, it's rudimentary at best. Symbols don't really make sense and are not completed for most of the time. Not until Uzi at least sees the error message in ep2, when she truly starts questioning what that weird symbol on her visor is. I headcanon that N does know or at least feel that the absolute solver symbol is familiar, hence the little comment.

5. Absolute Solver Nori. Why is there so many absolute solver Nori around? I'm certain she went back to normal, just like in pictures Khan showed us in ep4 post core collapse. But I connected the solvers together here. Uzi's absolute solver string is up and running, and because the solver is a hivemind, it'd connect the memories and warp them a little. So that's why Uzi's doodle of her and Nori at the end (and during memory recall) was so full of absolute solver. It's slowly taking root, whether she wants it to or not.

Personal touches/added/cut ideas:

N's tail wrapping around Uzi like a hug. Originally, Uzi was supposed to look more nervous, but not for the reasons you might think. I cut the nervous look to a more upset look so it wouldn't be confused for fear. Uzi's never scared of N (yes, I don't count ep2 either, that was a lot of events at once and very little time to process them). The nervous look was more of a "Why are you butting in?" type, you know? Being a loner makes you cautious, so when N prods at feelings, I figured Uzi would be a bit defensive.

Cyn is fully rendered and yet I glitched her so much I felt bad. So here's full absolute solver Cyn eldrich monster thingy. ^_^

I pulled a Hazbin hotel moment. Did you see it? Abracadabra GONE! All the scraps from first couple pages with NUzi chatting POOFED out of the existence. Did I get lazy and tired? Yes, that was the tell tale sign of burn out, when I stopped keeping track of background details and just kept the pod.

These progress shots show pretty well how the story boarding goes and how I change my mind too easily. 😅 storyboard is still as much of a mess as ever, sketch shows you I was gonna keep Uzi's hat, but decided against it in final product. I figured this. Nori gave Uzi the jacket whenever Uzi got a bigger body + hair. These are the same jacket and hair Uzi has in canon. Uzi's body is just upgraded again and her hair gets shorter in that regard. The jacket would be big on her, and cover her hands, but what's up with the fluff if I draw canon jacket more spiky? And where's the death battery drawing? I headcanon Uzi drew those on once she got into the angsty teenager stage. The jacket is more spiky from wear and tear.

Fun fact! You can sorta tell who's gonna show up in the comic by what memes I post prior. Here's some examples ^_^ Cyn showed up, and that was first practice with maid outfits and Cyn's eldrich form. Closely followed by manor gang, the second/final form of maid and butler outfits and prime practice for those scenes. This example is a bit spoiler for a meme I'm working on right now! I've never drawn Nori before, so I quickly sketched out the idea and continued on with the comic (otherwise, I'd lose my steam and procrastinate on it again). Memes are filler for you guys while I work on the actual projects (comics), and along the way, they give me practice and change in drawing style ^_^

Is it a coincidence that this comic is called Sleep with the release of a certain horror game? Actually, yeah pure coincidence 😅 I had this drafted allll the way back in November, and didn't take particular interest in poppy playtime until I saw lanky boi, which was actually during a stream I watched on release day of the chapter.

(I didn't know tumblr, or at least the phone app, had a tag limit of 30, BOY was I surprised @brookiedaaroacecookie that must have been THE tag city, sorry 😅)

Next comic is Loneliness 1 and 2

This one is split into 2 POVs from both Uzi and N side, thus its 2 separate comics. That one will be more NUzi centered, too, a slight angst and comfort spin to it. That will come... sometime. I have a few more projects I wanna finish up with prior to starting on these guys ^_^

Why are you still reading this? Omg, have a cookie 🍪 you made it. Have a nice day now ^_^

[trickstarbrave]

skyrim's MSQ has a lot of logical issues and annoying railroading but there are a couple of things that rly make no sense to me

delphine getting into the sacred tomb of jurgen windcaller and taking the horn that she knows the dragonborn will be after. i dont know how she knows the ldb will be asked to go get it by the greybeards, but i can excuse that with her being an active scholar and archaeologist which she is shown to be before that point (no i dont know why she is then dismissive of scholars later on). im really confused how she managed to get it and get out without setting off any of the puzzle traps

why she put the note there. what if i missed the note. what if the note fell off into the water and was unreadable. like it seems not very good as a plan

she gives us a passcode in the note and then tests us to see if we're "really" the ldb and not with the thalmor. i could be a dragonborn AND allied with the thalmor, it isn't impossible. the thalmor, while bad guys in the story to a cartoonish degree, are not the big bad. thats alduin. regardless of if alduin is rly gonna end the world or just try to rule it again, the thalmor would want to oppose him and control the dragons (something the ldb can do). the ldb could be a thalmor sympathizer easily.

the general assumption the ldb is going to be allied with the blades even if the game acts wishy washy about it. there is no way to refuse delphine's quest to kill paarthurnax and no way to kill her instead. in vanilla you can delay this quest and be locked out of the blades until you do, but there is no way to NOT be allied with the blades. why even give us the facade of choice here asking us existential questions about what it means to be good and acting like we have a choice to make when we absolutely do not (and bethesda will probably say paarthurnax is killed canonically for this reason)

the entire thalmor embassy section. we get some world building for the thalmor but logically it makes no sense to be in this questline in this spot. "the thalmor might be behind the dragons coming back" is such a wild leap of logic, as is "thats why we need you to infiltrate the party" like this isnt super risky, liable to get me killed, and is unlikely to have a reward. if she said we need to know more about dragons and the thalmor might have information on any surviving blades members because she doesnt think shes the only one left alive, that would make more sense

although i still hate this quest because it doesnt matter if you are a super stealthy rogue who can make your way through undetected or a warrior in heavy armor cutting your way through all of them, the results will be the same: you are caught and malborn is held hostage where he either is killed there or has his entire life ruined having to live in hiding for the rest of his days. why give us a stealth mission if there is gonna be no reward for being stealthy? "oh well not every person will play a stealth build--" im not asking for non-stealth build characters to be locked out of this quest im saying maybe stealth characters dont get fucking caught at the end if they go thru the place undetected

you have to join the college as part of the main storyline which i think is rly dumb. i know ppl hate magic in skyrim and the ppl of winterhold are paranoid but come on guys you dont offer enchanting services to normies? you wont just let me look around the fucking library after i proved im dragoborn? the magic sucks in this game anyways and the college questline is underbaked, why am i being railroaded into this one. you dont make me join the thieves guild. cmon

the thalmor just kind of become irrelevant around halfway through the story. what do you mean i was caught breaking into the embassy and now they just kinda don't care? you'd think they'd report me to the empire aligned cities' guards or order a hit put out on me.

does bethesda even know if alduin was actually gonna eat the world or just try ruling again. bc its really not clear at all and i think that is an important distinction to make

[telekineticseance]

DRIVE IN

kinktober day sixteen: public

pairing: college!trey parker x f!reader

summary: after weeks of not seeing each other, trey takes you out to a movie

genre: smut

word count: 905

cw: public sex, car sex, unprotected sex

author's note: this was gonna be posted last night but i fell asleep. ANYWAYS here y'all go trey girlies. (ignore trey being alferd packer it's like the only college gif i could find and he looks so cute i couldn't resist).

“Trey stop,” You giggled as he kissed your neck. His hand moved under the top of your shirt as he played with the strap of your bra underneath.

The two of you had been so wrapped up with midterms you rarely had time to see one another but Trey surprised you with tickets to a drive in movie to see Army of Darkness. But since the two of you had been busy that also meant no time to engage in a certain...activity.

“I’m sorry.” He sighed against your neck, he looked up at you with those pleading blue eyes of his. “I just missed you.”

“Did you miss me? Or miss having sex with me?” You asked, raising your eyebrow as you looked at him.

“Is both not a good answer?” He chuckled lightly, his fingers continuing to play with the strap of your bra from under your shirt. You looked around nervously before returning your gaze back to him, “There’s people Trey.”

“I’m sure there’s other people doing stuff.” He pouted at you, “I just know we can’t do anything back at the dorms..”

He was right. Both of your dorm mates were back for the night which was one of the reasons the two of you went out instead of staying in one of your dorms like you would do on most “date nights”.

“What if we get caught?”

His face lit up slightly, he knew you were about to give in, “Nobody will. It’s dark and we’re all the way in the back.”

“Fine. But if we get caught I will kill you.”

He gave you a small laugh before he started crawling to the backseat, tripping over himself in the process. You rolled your eyes playfully before climbing behind him, straddling his hips in the backseat.

The two of you started to kiss one another, letting the need of wanting one another take over as your hands roamed each other’s bodies.

His fingers grazed along your spine as he held you close, tugging your shirt off from over your head. You did the same, pulling his off him before letting your hands rest on his chest.

“I love you.” Trey whispered, looking into your eyes. The words pulled at your chest, being the first time he uttered them to you.

“You what?”

“I love you. I do.” He assured you, caressing your face with his hand, stroking your cheek with his thumb.

“I love you too.”

He smiled before kissing you once more, his hand started to rub circles into your clit through your panties as you gasped against his lips. You opted for wearing a skirt that night, with the honest hope that it would make easier access for Trey but you didn’t think it would be in the car.

Your hands dug into his chest as you moved your hips against his hand. Trey pulled his hand away causing you to whimper slightly before you realized he was starting to unbutton his pants, pulling them down just enough for his cock to spring out from the constraints.

He pulled your panties aside as his other hand rested underneath your thigh to help you maneuver. You lifted yourself up with your legs before lowering down on his length, letting out a small whine of relief when you did.

Trey’s hand gripped tighter onto your thigh, letting out a deep groan as he looked up at you. You started to move slowly, trying to adjust to his length and the best way to move in your position without hitting your head on the top of the car.

The windows started to fog as the two of you held one another close, allowing yourself to bounce on his cock. You let out a moan that was definitely louder than it should’ve before you felt Trey’s hand cover your mouth.

“Keep moaning like that and your fear of getting caught will be a reality.” He whispered lowly, hardly able to keep his composure as he did with his eyes occasionally closing tightly.

You gave a nod, rolling your eyes back as you moaned into his hand. The sound of the movie that played in the back was tuned out by the pornographic sounds produced by the two of you.

“O-Oh god,” The feeling of Trey rapidly hitting your sweet spot caused you to cry out into his palm.

“I-I’m close Trey.” Your words were muffled as he nodded, letting out a few soft groans. You reached your orgasm fast and hard, your bouncing slowing down as you continued riding out your high but waiting for Trey to reach his own.

He moved his hand away from your mouth, gripping onto your hips as he bucked his hips up a couple times, gasping while his eyes rolled to the back of his head and his head fell back onto the car seat.

You pulled off, using your hand to continue pumping his length. You watched the liquid spew from Trey’s tip, running down your hand onto his lap. The weeks of built up tension finally coming undone in your hand.

Trey’s chest continued to rise and fall at a heightened pace as his eyes found yours, his hand moving to pull you in for another kiss. You pulled away, letting your foreheads rest against one another as you giggled softly once the sounds of the movie started creeping into your ears once again.

[balkanradfem]

some complaining about my temporary caretaking job, not feminism related

I'm missing my garden. I miss being free outside, going out on a whim and foraging randomly. I miss going swimming in the cold water. I miss collecting and drying mushrooms for the winter, and collecting wild chestnuts for the laundry. I missed out on most of the chestnuts this time, and it was difficult to let that go.

I've had to get used to these people's routine, and I'm having a poor time standing it. It's getting up at 8, cleaning rituals, then drinking coffee, sitting around in tense silence followed with few uncomfortable words. Then waiting for lunch (these people don't eat breakfast!) and either someone is delivering it, or I'm being instructed to make something. The rest of the noon is structured around dishes, tidying, laundry, cleaning. There's an afternoon nap, then back to tense sitting around. Eventually at 8pm there's a show on the television the the woman likes to watch, and I watch it alongside her.

It's the tense sitting around that kills me, why are we doing this to ourselves? Shouldn't we all remove ourselves from this situation and do something fulfilling and happy? Don't we all have better things to do? What kind of ritual is it when you sit and feel bad? That is a nightmare. I started reading a book just to have something to do.

I'm itching to go outside and be inside of the river, or a forest, or walking barefoot around the cold grass. Yesterday I enthusiastically asked to go outside for a bit, but the woman got upset and asked me if I could do that another day. I was crestfallen, felt like a prisoner. I understood it was because she needs me to be around all day, because she can't take care of herself on her own. But I was upset. My freedom was taken away.

She noticed how upset I was, and waited for the time of the day where she felt a little better, and could go around on her own. Then she told me 'you can go outside if you need to do anything', and I explained I didn't specifically have a chore to do, I just couldn't handle being inside all day, i needed to be in the sun. She nodded and told me to go. I had an hour.

First I called the plant lady and asked her if she was home, because I got an extra stick mixer the other day, which I didn't need, so I was told to 'pass it to someone', and plant lady is the someone. I handed it over, and she looked at me in surprise 'Mine had just broken! This is perfect timing.' and she told me about her daughter leaving for college for the first time. I left there happy, and then ran to my own apartment, to collect my foraged herbs. I didn't have access to any medicinal teas in the other place! I grabbed a few bags of my favourites, and then ran out, and headed to the riverbank.

I took my shoes off beside the river, and walked barefoot, letting my feet soak up the damp soil and dewy grass. I sneaked around the big walnut tree, and gathered a whole bag of walnuts. Then I stood inside the river, feeling elated by how cold and energizing it was. My feet were happy!

Then I climbed a tree, once again feeling free from all laws and obligation - after all, I'm no longer on earth, there's no policing my behaviour here. Nobody could see me either.

At this point, I still had 15 minutes of my time left, and the sun was setting. I decided to grab my bike and find an open field where I could watch the sunset properly. I whirled around houses and roads, until finally reaching the end of a street, with an open field that gave me full view of the sky. I stared, mesmerized at how brightly the clouds were glowing, thinking how it's the most fantastical, unreal sight I could possibly see from this planet.

I went back then, feeling light and happy. I think I used my hour wisely! I wouldn't usually try to do so much in that time, I needed to fit as many good activities as possible in there. I'm feeling better now.

On the other side, I have way more food here than ever at home, my appetite came back and now I'm hungry all the time, and I can also eat almost always, as these people eat only 1/3 of their meals and then doom everything else. I'm not used to throwing food away! My mind is doing some odd thinking like 'yes I'll get all that food stored in me now, and then, I won't have to eat as much this winter' and I think that is deranged but is it true? Can people plan like that? It's funny.

The woman sat me down the next day and decided we needed to discuss my pay, and we did, and I'll have enough to pay rent the next month so I'm pleased! I did not, in fact, find a roommate, so it was bothering me, but it's going to be fine. I have another month to do the search.

[haileyywrites]

Summary: Scaramouche after getting hold of the gnosis of his creator prepares to leave Snezhnaya for good, but is confronted by one of his fellow Harbingers. One who he could almost trust...

Pairings: Scaramouche/the Balladeer x Harbinger Reader!

Notes/warnings: Gender neutral reader! POC friendly! Little angsty, little fluffy! No other warnings really.

Scaramouche had never intended to stay loyal to the Fatui or the Cryo Archon, even when he was taken in by them when all others turned their backs on him. He didn't care for them or their goals, he was only seeking after his own ends and the Fatui were the easiest way to gain them. Most of all he did not care for his colleagues. Most were crazy, annoying or otherwise intolerable and insufferable - it didn't matter as long as he didn't have to interact with them much.

Betraying them wouldn't be difficult in the slightest, if anything it was a reward for enduring them f6ir as long as he did. Though he would never admit it to anyone... even himself, he did hesitate in the end - because of you.

You were annoying for sure, but nothing like the other Harbingers. You were by no means a saint or even a good person, but you were not crazy like them. In a way you were like him, he didn't interact with his fellows and you tented to keep to yourself. You did get along with everyone as well as anyone could with the likes of them... But still preferred to be on your own.

Your unexpected bond was created one snowy night, with the fake stars lighting up the sky and moon rising in the distance. You stood underneath the roof of the courtyard to avoid the snowfall and simply admired the nightly scenery. You turned your head to face the direction of approaching footsteps to see the Balladeer approaching with a scowl, which was far from uncommon. It was as if not scowling all the time would somehow kill him.

“Something wrong number 6th?” You asked halfheartedly.

“Why do you care.” He barked back.

“I don't. Just felt like the polite thing to say.” You replied with honesty.

He scoffed, “Exchanging pointless pleasantries is a waste of everyone's times.”

“I'll keep that in mind.” You leaned against the railing to look better at the sky.

“What, never seen the sky before?” He scoffed again.

“Just because I've seen it a thousand times doesn't mean it's any less beautiful to me.”

“Whatever.” He said as he walked off.

For whatever reason these nightly unplanned meetings became an almost everyday occurrence. He didn't require sleep and you were simply a night owl or just insomniac. Things progressed slowly as both of you didn't trust each other and wished to keep everyone at an arms length at all times. You both had your reason for it and for being here, but it wasn't loyalty or faith. If you weren't loyal to an Archon whose bidding you were actively acting out, then who could you be loyal to?

Though you got closer to him and made your way into his non-existent heart he never fully let you in, he just couldn't let anyone betray him and his heart. You knew he couldn't and never tried pushing him to do so, you feared it would push him away from you. So you remained a little more than strangers and colleges despite all that happened between you two.

You knew he would one day leave with the gnosis of his creator and betray the Fatui along with the Tsaritsa, but you thought it would be so much later in the future. You never gave it much thought before the very day it happened, you always thought you'd have more time and he would tell you before hand... A foolish thing to think and believe.

"Were you going to say anything?" You caught him mid packing.

"Should I have?" He asks in a monotone voice.

"I suppose not." The dissapointment in your voice is hard to miss.

He paused to say something to you, but in the end didn't. Perhaps it was for the best anyway...

"Did you... ever consider taking me with you?" You manage to ask despite your nerves.

He stops again and turns to look at you, but doesn't know what to say... There is something he wishes to say in reply, but he hesitates too long for you to take back your words.

"Forget it, it was a foolish question. I will be on my way then." You turn to leave and he doesn't stop you.

You want to stop and demand he take you with him, that he at least answerers honestly to you! But you don't. He won't let you in and he won't trust you, do there is nothing you can do...

"Goodbye, 6th." You say before walking out of his room without waiting for him to reply.

Your shoes clicked against the marble flooring as you walked away, you couldn't hear anything besides it. You remained as silent as you could - foolishly hoping to hear his door open with regret, that he would ask you to come with him like you had suggested... But you didn't. It never happened. You walked away and he left like the wind.

A/N: :'D

[upwards-descent]

I started writing a self-insert OC Venture Bros fic but idk if I'll finish it, however what I've got is too good not to share (spoilers for season 6 & 7)

"This... Is our new target. Or, I guess more like this is Venture's newest Guild mandated arch."

Henchman 21 leaned over the dining room table, shuffling the stack of papers around so he could read them better.

"Doctor Bedlam?" 21 hissed through his teeth, a sympathetic twist in his furrowed brows. "He's like. Y'know."

"What? Like what?" The Monarch demanded. He had one fist propped up on his cocked hip, the other spread flat across the table. It was still a bit funny to see him in both his cowl and a silk robe. "You chickening out on me now, huh?"

"No, no, no, no," 21 shook his head emphatically. "I just think we should exercise some uh... Extra level of caution."

"Is there something I'm missing here?" The Monarch held up their target's picture. "Are you really that afraid of this fucking... Tony Stark/Slumdog Millionaire lookin' motherfucker?"

"The only reason why Doctor Bedlam isn't a 10 is he doesn't actively kill," 21 crossed his arms, one brow quirked. "Imagine a beast like Red Death but sub the bloodlust for, like, literal clinical psychopathy. You wanna act casual about that?"

"Really?" The Monarch looked at the picture again, pursing his lips in thought. "This guy? He looks like one of those cringey pick-up artists but he only goes after yacht club college girls."

Henchman 21 simply shrugged.

"I'm only speakin' the facts, boss. Don't underestimate this guy."

"Feh," The Monarch flapped his hand and let the sheet of paper flutter back down onto the table, already distracted by an exploration of the fridge. "Nothing the mighty Blue Morpho and his trusty Kano can't handle. We'll suit up after breakfast."

🦋🦋🦋

The Monarch-- or rather, Blue Morpho whistled in appreciation once he and 'Kano' were dropped off by taxi at their location. 

"Damn, nice digs," The Monarch mumbled. "What floor is this guy on again?"

"Penthouse suite," Henchman 21 double-checked his notes before folding up the paper into a tiny square and tucking it in his pocket. "Top floor, baby. This guy's an arms dealer, he's like rich rich."

"Like Batman rich or like...?"

"I've heard rumors he's like Oprah rich."

"Daaamn."

Shockingly, the duo got into the building with no issue. Strange. The security seemed non-existent, the only visible employee being some older guy snoring at the front desk. They slipped into the elevator but when The Monarch reached for the penthouse button, 21 superceded him, obscuring it with a cupped palm.

"We'll take the floor below then climb the stairs to the roof," He encouraged, thumbing the 29th floor instead. "Who knows what kinda shit he's got waiting for us at the door."

"I still think you're overreacting," The Monarch rolled his eyes but didn't fight back, leaning against the wall as the elevator ascended. "Why the hell would the Guild assign such a supposed level 11 badass to a shmuck like Venture?"

"No clue," 21 frowned for a moment. "It's not like Dr. Venture goes out and does superhero work, he's kind of a shut-in."

"Yeah," The Monarch snickered. "He doesn't save cats in trees or kiss babies or whatever. Sometimes he's almost as much a villain as I am. Did you know he powered one of his inventions with a fucking dead orphan kid once?"

"Fucked up but also hardcore."

The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. Just across the hall was the emergency exit and, once again, the pair slipped out and up with no issues whatsoever. After a brief climb, they were on the roof and overlooking the rest of New York City from a bird's eye view.

"Alright, here's a vent we can enter through," 21 grunted with effort as one of his knives popped open the grate. "This should hopefully take us to the living room but we'll take it nice and slow."

"Move over," The Monarch barked, easily tucking both long legs into the vent, using a swift rush of momentum to zoom in like a slide. "And have more confidence in your leader!"

Crawling on hands and knees, they managed to move rather quietly, pausing over every subsequent grate to peek down and do some reconnaissance. There were exits into a master bathroom, the living room, the kitchen, and what looked like a study. It was too dark to tell but that seemed advantageous so 21 silently lifted the grate and the pair soundlessly hit the floor on two feet.

[pancake-breakfast]

Trigun Book Club! Trigun Book Club! (@trigunbookclub)

Way back in the mid-2000's, a young Pancake Ray was working their first job out of college at a local Giant Chain Bookstore and discovered that no one else working the store cared if they spent their breaks sitting on the floor in front of our rather impressive two and a half bays of manga we had and just... read them right there. Much manga was read, and among the titles read were both Trigun and what was available at that time of Trigun Maximum.

I remember very little from that initial read aside from 1) confusing fight scenes, and 2) enough deviation from the anime (which I had recently watched) that I didn't really have a place for at that time. The anime had wormed itself into a very special place in my heart, so between the differences and just not being in a good place spiritually to handle some of its more religious themes, I wasn't really sure what to do with it. It probably didn't help that, back then, the manga was nowhere near finished.

I still read every volume we had, because gods, I read anything that looked even remotely interesting on the manga shelves at that time.

Now, an older and (debatably) wiser Ray is going to be reading these along with the rest of the Trigun Book Club Denizens. But first, I want to start of with a quote from the notes in The New Oxford Annotated Bible (3rd Ed.) in their prelude to I Kings, which is what I'm currently studying:

There is, on the other hand, no neat correlation between sin and judgment in Kings, largely because of the compassionate character of the Judge who accepts the repentant sinner, who does not desire final judgment to fall upon his creatures, and who is always ready to find cause why such judgment should be delayed or mitigated.

It just seemed like something to keep in mind when thinking about the character of Vash... but YMMV.

Onward!

Stream-of consciousness thoughts for Trigun Vol. 1, Chapters 1-3 below. (More detailed thoughts will be their own posts.)

Trigun Volume 1 Covers

Ok, first off... I love the alternate covers Nightow did. The stark contrast between the serious cleanliness of the covers and the crazy tongue-in-cheek alternate version really sets the tone.

LOL, "Deep Space Planet Future Gun Action!!" Yep, that's it. That's all it is.

How have I never seen Meryl as Luke Skywalker before??

Chapter 1: The $$60,000,000,000 Man

This poster says "Appearance: Unclear," but it also has a picture of him. I'm not sure what to make of that.

Vash's face is so goofy. It's like if his world isn't ACTIVELY ON FIRE, he doesn't know how to be serious. I do like the belts. When watching S1 of Stampede, I missed the belts. I hope S2 has more belts. Something something fetish gear.

I love that there's actually a tally of all this on a wall somewhere. SEVENTY FREAKING TWO MURDER CASES.

Kid: "Mom, I want a gun." Mom: "You already have a gun at home." The Gun At Home: *only shoots toy darts when you, a child no older than 8, are living in the Space Wild Wild West and think you need real bullets*

I love how quickly Vash goes from "OMG FOOD" face to SERIOUS EATING FACE.

And it's immediately followed by this CLOSE-UP ASS SHOT. WHYYYYYY???

I don't know who this cloaked guy who's cocking his shotgun by shaking it vertically is, but I love his stupid hair.

Yeah, you don't get to kill the protagonist THAT fast....

WW isn't even here yet and Nightow's already filling panels with man-tiddies...

LOL, he counted ALL the bullets in that page that was... just... it was just bullet fire. Somehow he counted them all. For every gun. And now everyone else has to leave stripped down to their boxers.

I love that someone, somewhere decided they needed to have a pinball machine all the way out here in nowheresville.

Ah there are the girls. Milly looks so worried about the catcalls, but Meryl? Meryl looks bored.

Chapter 2: Looney Tunes

Ok, first off, this chapter title just makes me think of ep 12 of Stampede when So-and-So starfishes his way out a window before floundering in the air for a second of hangtime and then falling.

Exposition! Huzzah!

Population decline slowing = humans adapting to the new environment. Resilient little buggers.... I know someone who probably HATES that statistic.

So, basically... before July, Vash was small beans. Or going by another name.

Aaaand straight into his goofy poses. This man is made of rubber, I swear.

LOL, why is he talking in French?! I guess a guy's gotta have his hobbies....

But Meryl... I'm with Milly here. Is it really that dangerous??

Ah, yes. The ol' "they'll understand me better if I just speak louder" trick. A favorite of Americans traveling in non-English-speaking countries when said American hasn't bothered to learn even the tiniest bit of the local language.

Current favorite Vash Chaos Pose:

LOL, "MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES FOR INTERRUPTING THIS CONFUSION." This feels like such a Japanese thing to say. It's like, "I know you're all engaged in frantic chaos right now, and because you're engaged in it, it must be very important to you, so I, the intruder, must offer my sincere regret for interrupting it."

I wonder how this version of Milly will merge with a Milly who was crazy enough to volunteer for the position of Meryl's partner in Stampede.

This Vash is definitely not so keen on being caught, even in the face of suffering women and children.

But here he is, protecting the very people who had guns in his face a second ago.

Chapter 3: Hard Puncher

Current favorite Vash Serious Pose:

Ok, I have thoughts here.

Sooooo many shonen speed lines....

Current favorite Vash Action Pose (That intense side eye is *chef's kiss*.)

Man, poor Gosef. But Vash standing over his prone form looks badass.

LOL, the Insurance Girls finally have everyone's attention, and.. they look like they don't want it anymore.

Hahahahaha, there goes the bounty. Can't put a bounty on a natural disaster. The federal government has officially labeled him "not human." *pats Vash*

Actually, he looks kinda happy about this. I guess not having a bounty on your head anymore might do that.

He can still have the head-pats.

The difference in his expression when greeting Meryl versus greeting Milly....

For as terrible as Mr. Nebraska himself is, I always appreciated how much he seems to genuinely care about his son in his own weird way.

Gods, I'm glad every other version got rid of his gun legs, though. That's... a Thing, and I don't like this Thing.

And just like that, Vash goes from "concerned about these girls constantly being around him" to "mildly intimidated by them." Beautiful.

(Thanks to @trigun-manga-overhaul for their translations and making this series accessible!)

[warriorend-2]

ok ok since i can't be stupid and gay all the time (<- college student)

putting this shit under a cut bc while it's mostly just me rambling it's. spoiler heavy. & also wound up being 1600 words. sorry

1: possibly the most glaring thing, which makes me doubt the Phantom being a lot of otherwise-possible candidates, is that they would have to be very good at infiltration

-I presume Roxana didn't put the medal in her computer herself, which means whoever did put it there had to get in after she left, get into the computer without waking up Robutler, modify it to put it there, & put everything back (mostly) the way it was & leave a combination. granted maybe they just gave the medal to Roxana to put in there, but like. why

-getting it into that spot in the mines wouldn't have been too hard i don't think, just. knowing where the mine is and then sneaking in during off-duty hours (...assuming those happen)

-tbh the one in blind spot is probably the easiest to place given that it's just behind a license plate, & cars do have to stop sometimes even if it's not often

-i'm. not sure how they got the medal into hot water though. i'm guessing they snuck it in among the materials? (the other option here is that Zor had a hand in getting it there, which opens up a whole other can of worms so i'm not gonna. think about that one too hard)

-the one in cold shoulder is also not too hard to see it getting there. i would laugh if they had to make a mold of that little compartment & then make a block of ice for it though.

-the one in kboom is where i'm like. OK this facility is presumably not super new but it's also not super old given its current purpose. it may have been repurposed but still. how did they get the medal where it is and then also tag the bucket. the volcano doesn't look like it's horribly far away from shore (in the ending credits) but (also i'm aware the medal shouldn't even be able to be where it is but. yknow.)

and odds are that it doesn't matter that much, i'm just. they had a little safe set up in the control point already, they had access to the pneumatic tubes, etc. if the locations have any bearing and aren't just "here's somewhere to stick this puzzle that would be hard to figure out", then that implies some Shit about the phantom (& possibly also their allies. if they have any. if they do I highly doubt they're Agency-related.). given where the phantom gets to i am somewhat leaning towards the idea it may be V. Vitti (also the. insignia), given that we've seen the sort of places Agent Phoenix gets into (...seat of power) & so

2: Zor's goals feel a lot more on a personal bent this game, not just irt destroying the Agency but also. destroying the kinesium & anything that uses it. so whatever their reason, it seems to be a lot more personal (+ they actively Address the player more often, which could be Phoenix's infamy but also in the other games they were barely present, both in terms of voicelines & actual like. Story Push. they were a very passive supervillain in the other games, is what i'm saying)

which leads me up to like. we all know characters can lie, & in this series it's kinda expected, but. idk. i keep circling back to the shield generator. & the lava generators being accessible from Phoenix's cabin, but not the one Roxana was in. & Phoenix's cabin seemingly having all this shit that the others didn't have, & it could have been a tactical choice on Phoenix's part, but.

i mean. Zor does definitely say they want you dead, but they don't say it directly a whole lot (iirc they say "kill you and Prism" but otherwise they don't directly address the player in death threats, it's usually just. agents, plural. or "whatever end you meet" which is also a threat but is vague)

which just. why is Agent Phoenix still alive? Game design aside, of course. It wouldn't be much of a game if the villain kills you in the first level, after all.

But it feels, to me, like the weaknesses are far too glaring to be just missed over, especially in 3, because. if they want you dead that badly, why. why leave things so safe?

Hot Water is one i wind up on a lot, because you could chalk things up to being deathtraps, but Ollie knew about the gas and the grenade trap, & seemed completely unfazed by them (& kinda implied that's just How It Is for new folks), so they're not necessarily targeted, it's just standard practice. Putting aside the fact that even if they were intended to be deathtraps, they're so. Mild. to put it bluntly. Zor knows Phoenix by this point, knows the shit they've pulled & survived, a gas trap & a grenade in a vending machine feel very. yknow. that's like throwing a rock at the back of someone's head, comparatively

and then the KBOOM demo & the shield generator, both explicitly left for you to see. & it's a pretty 1-to-1 comparison for how the actual KBOOM mission goes, except for the telekinesis save at the end. the squid gets involved, but for the most part, considering it's a lab Zor loosely implies they were at, the security is very. lax. & everything is accessible to the "new hire", popsicle-ID necessity aside. (also apparently Ollie has been down there a while, given he doesn't seem to. know about the whole "world domination" thing. which is Eerie because if that's the case then how long exactly has the whole Kinesium thing been a plan?)

to me. & it has felt like this since the end of the second game. When Zor says they want you dead, there's a whole host of unstated conditions to that, which they would be good at given the whole CEO thing.

"I want you dead if you aren't good enough at your job to survive" sort of deal. which also lines in nicely with how they seem to be as an Actual Boss. of course, they never say the second part out loud, but. short of them just being Really Smart in a lot of cases (failsafe in Juniper's mask, leading Roxana along long enough to get her research & then trying to kill her, etc) but Really Dumb in others (leaving the shield generator, making the squid the only real danger to Phoenix down there, not having any failsafes to make sure the missiles launch at the end of 2 even if the briefcase is compromised (or just not using them), etc), it's like. the ways their plans get foiled at the end of 2 & 3 feels intentional.

plus you could make the argument that Roxana was also being used to lead Phoenix along until they were where Zor wanted them, at which point both of what they were using her for (Kinesium research, kite Phoenix around until they're in position, even if that second one wasn't in the deal) was done & they could get rid of her without feeling bad.

would stopping KBOOM have been possible without Roxana's help? Dunno. Not the way it's presented in-game, because in-game she was also instrumental to stopping it.

i'm also going to briefly play semantics for a second. i'm not sure i consider "even the great Agent Phoenix will eventually burn out" to be a threat because. that's what phoenixes do. They burn, and then they come back. Sometimes it takes a while, but. if i'm not just thinking about semantics Way Too Hard, the wording of "burn out" suggests something far different than "die". combining that with Zor talking about the Agency like That, & the Phantom (at least vaguely) implying prior experience with the Agency, & realizing that their involvement would cost them their life, makes me think. maybe "burn out" isn't a threat of death, but a threat of something about Phoenix changing soon. Maybe as a result of almost dying. "burn out" is also used for like. becoming exhausted, stopping trying, & maybe that too. who knows. i don't, i'm not on the dev team, i'm just some 21 year old chewing on semantics.

at the end of the day, my current standing on Theories is. hard to sum up but i will do my best. o7

-The phantom is probably one of a very small handful of candidates, & I'm leaning towards it being V. Vitti or maybe possibly Zor in a funny hat.

-Zor is trying to kill Phoenix, but not inescapably. maybe they're testing Phoenix, maybe they're just trying to almost-kill Phoenix enough times they get tired of the Agency and fuck off so Zor can do the whole "world domination" thing (which i am not. wholly convinced they actually are after.)

-summing those two up made me think of something else. perhaps the Phantom was also testing Phoenix in a roundabout way, by seeing if they could survive everything else, because they only show up in the third game. Their note opening with "it seems you're as good as they say" indicates they are at least familiar with Phoenix & their reputation, albeit maybe not directly (if it is Vitti, i doubt she would have access to Agency knowledge, but post-Rising Phoenix, once the rumors started getting out...)

-this is a silly theory i like to throw around in my head, but i'm very fond of it, so: the "death room" you go to after dying in a mission may not necessarily always indicate Actual Death. in some cases, yes, but in other cases. idk. i've always gotten more the vibe of having been captured as opposed to outright killed (although being able to respawn does throw a wrench in there, but oh well. game has to be a game & all)

[kitkatt0430]

For your salty ask questions : 7, 20 and 22 love your options on things

7.) Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

So the show Eureka. The fandom itself had issues while I was a part of it, though I did a pretty good job of steering clear of the worst of it until towards the end of the show's run.

Eureka was a SyFy channel show that aired while I was in college and for the most part I really liked it. But... one of the main characters, Allison, had an autistic child whose treatment by the show made me very uncomfortable for reasons I didn't really understand at the time because, well... I was pretty ignorant about autism at the time.

They basically treated this kid as a plot device. The mom didn't seem interested in figuring out how to communicate in ways the kid was comfortable with but instead being devastated that the only time he communicated in ways she was comfortable with was when he was semi-possessed by some science-magic-thing. That was killing him. The kid eventually creates an Einstein-Rosen bridge (wormhole) to facilitate his mom and some others to time travel in order to butterfly effect the future just enough that he's not autistic. Like, it's heavily implied that the kid did that. on purpose. after which he finally became a real character and not a plot device and his mom sabotaged the other characters attempts to fix the timeline because she liked this version of her son better.

... yeah...

And usually this is where I'd go looking for fix fics and I did look for some because even with not knowing much about autism at the time even I knew that last part with the kid erasing himself from history to replace himself with a not-autistic and not-really-him version of himself was really bad writing. If you have to replace your autistic character with a non-autistic version in order to make him an active character in your show, you're a shitty show runner and/or writer.

But honestly I just wasn't finding any at the time. Maybe there are some now, maybe I wasn't looking in the right places. But I was starting to run more and more into misogynistic or racist treatments of Allison as I became less and less interested in fics that included her directly. At which point the show was over, I wasn't really enamored with either it or the fandom anymore, and it was time to move on.

To some degree I do miss it. It started while I was in high school and it was something I continued to watch on weekends with my parents during college (along with Doctor Who and a few other shows). It had a lot of really fun things going and I had a good fandom friend for Eureka and FF8 who I've since lost touch with. But in retrospect, and having since learned more about autism and why the quest to 'cure' it is basically eugenics... it's really hard to look back on the show without being appalled by how ableist it really was. So though I might miss it, I sincerely doubt I'll ever rewatch it or return to the fandom.

20.) What is the purest ship in the fandom?

Yeah I have no idea. I think 'purest ship' is kind of a silly metric because nothing is every going to be perfect or 'pure'. And with the rise of purity culture here on tumblr over the last several years, even though I would be just joking around to name a ship as the purest... it still feels like I'd be invoking the idea of moral superiority for shipping the pure ships. So honestly, the question makes me a little uncomfortable for how it's phrased.

If I were to rephrase it as the ship with the least baggage attached, then maybe Barrisco, Westhawne, or Snowest for the Flash. The characters still have to work out problems that arise between them over the course of the show, but these three have what feels like - to me anyway - the least amount of baggage weighing them down in their interactions together and canon relationships be they platonic or romantic. But I wouldn't call them pure ships because I really just don't think there's any such thing.

22.) Popular character you hate?

It's hard to think of one because even villains I tend to hate in a love to hate way. At the characters I don't hate in the love to hate way - like Mark Blaine - are more often than not fandom unfavorites anyway.

I don't hate Felicity, but I don't like her the way I used to either. Characterization marches on and all that.

I'll still pop in on the Supernatural fandom sometimes despite the show eventually making all the main characters kind of unlikable (or maybe it was the trauma conga line getting forever darker that made it feel hard to like anything while watching it anymore...) but the fanon versions of the characters are still enjoyable to me.

I don't hate Steve from the MCU but by the time he was written out of the franchise he was... very much not my Captain America anymore. Largely because they made him too much of a self centered hypocrite with never my fault/consequences avoidant tendencies that are at odds with what I like about the character from the comics I've read. (Admittedly not a lot of comics, as I prefer other marvel comics characters over Captain America like Miles Morales and Gwen Stacy as Ghost-Spider and Jane's run as Thor...) But honestly... what else could I expect when the movies were taken over by people who were on the record as hating all the characters? I may not like this version of Steve anymore, but I find it hard to hate a character I know was being deliberately written badly.

Gwen from Torchwood mind raped her fiance/future husband to avoid him leaving her for cheating on him and... I really don't like her for that but given all the shit the other Torchwood characters get up to it feels a little strong to say I hate her for it. I hate the way the narrative treated her as a morality pet but she was, in many ways, just another victim of the way working for Torchwood - even Jack's Torchwood - eventually eroded a person's sense of ethics. And the show runners trying a bit too hard to be edgy. (Though admittedly, sometimes I do hate her for it, usually when I'm rewatching that part of the show in the wrong mood.)

[shelbyshoe]

Mobile Master List ⋆｡°✩

💜 Here is a collection of all the writing I have posted to this blog. Everything with links will be on this blog, FFN, and AO3. I’ll add to this list as I update.💜

I do not consent to reposting, copying, translating, or using my work for AI character bots without my permission.

Resident Evil

RE Multi-Chapter₊˚⊹☆

~When the World Falls Apart (Aeon)

Leon S. Kennedy is the luckiest unlucky man Ada has ever met. Unlucky that he's gone missing, but lucky she's willing to go into a secret facility that the government refuses to touch in order to find him.

Now, she's wandering around a labyrinth with her voice stolen and a gun that doesn't belong to her. Leon's Red9 is the key to finding him and escaping this hellish prison.

Too bad that all Ada has to go on is his voice emanating from his weapon, and there's something he's not telling her.

Rated: E

Status: Complete

AO3

RE One-Shots ₊˚⊹☆

~Take a Walk With Me (Aeon)

Leon and Ada retire to a charming harbor town. He has a day off from his job at the docks and takes advantage of the time he has with Ada, far away from the rest of the world, where they can finally grow old together and live in peace.

Rated: M

Aeon Fluff Week 2024

AO3

~Friendly Skies (Aeon)

When Ada shows up unannounced on Leon's flight to DC after a job, he is surprised, to say the least. Especially since he's flying a private government jet on his way to the White House. It seems she's more interested in finishing where they left off than getting caught by the crew on board.

Rated: E

AO3

~Las Plagas (Aeon)

Searching for a way to remove her plaga, Ada stumbles upon an infected Leon. She finds as they step closer her fever does anything but temper, and the voices in her head remind her of her deepest desires.

Rated: E

AO3

RE Drabbles/Ficlettes₊˚⊹☆

~Please, Don't Go (Aeon)

The death of Ada Wong

~Thirst Trap (Aeon)

Ada finds Leon thirst traps on tiktok.

~I See You Everywhere (Aeon)

Leon is never surprised to see Ada when he sees her in everything.

~Draw Me Naked (Aeon)

Leon is in a college art class and Ada has volunteered to be the live drawing model.

~Selfish With You (Aeon)

Leon confronts Ada about her motivations for helping him without taking credit for it.

~Sweet Rivalry (Claireada)

Claire has to confront Ada, the leader of her rival girl gang.

~Stay With Me (Claireada)

Claire and Ada had a fight where Ada feels it's best to leave.

~Don't I Know You? (Aeon)

In a universe where Leon and Ada never went to RC. He feels like something is missing, that he was destined to meet her. And then he does.

~There Was Only One Coffin (Claireada)

Claire and Ada are vampires. There was only one bed- I mean, coffin.

~Toxic Work Environment (Aeon)

The one where Ada is a secret Britney Spears fan.

~Lucky (Aeon)

Aeon dancing in the kitchen together after mission.

~Gentle Gods (Aeon)

Hades!Ada x Persephone!Leon

~A Little Entertainment (Aeon) 🔞

Ada wants to have a little fun with Leon while he's at a meeting.

~A Tall Cup of Coffee (Carleon)

Domestic Carlos x Leon where they plan out their next date while Leon orders coffee.

~Doubt (Aeon)

Ada is being interrogated and will soon be killed if Leon doesn't get to them first.

~Sweet Indulgence (Claireada)

Ada spends a warm summer day with Claire. She realizes her home will always be with Claire.

~Agent Eagle (Ashley Graham)

Ashley works in FBI, specializing in cult activity, always proving herself as a reliable agent. She reminisces on what inspired her to pursue her dreams.

~Real People (Aeon)

Ada and Leon have a break between missions to drink and chat, taking comfort in each other.

~Raspberries (Leon Kennedy)

Leon finds himself at the bar attempting to recall a memory of his childhood. Helena finds him and reminds him of the good people in his life.

Fairy Tail

FT Drabbles/Ficlettes₊˚⊹☆

~Gray VS END (NaLu + Gruvia)

Gray vs Natsu END fight

Rated: T

Status: Complete

~Meeting the Goddess (NaLu)

Nalu as Hades and Persephone

Rated: G

Status: Complete

FT One Shots₊˚⊹☆

~The End (NaLu/ENDLu)

Natsu has defeated Zeref, but at the cost of his humanity. In this path in life, he has chosen the demon seed to defeat his greatest enemy and has taken Lucy with him.

Rated: T

Status: Complete

FFN

~The Beginning (NaLu)

Dragon slayers are shunned after the battle with Zeref. Natsu had chosen the dragon seed to defeat him, but at a price. Dragon transformations are more frequent, and one day they will be permanent. Each, in pairs, are out to find the cure along with Natsu and Lucy.

Rated: T

Status: Complete

FFN

~Divine Touch ( NaLu + Gruvia)

Lucy is a renowned artist for the nobility longing for a man, well a muse, that she can't stop painting. Natsu is a god of creativity who craves freedom from Lucy's studio. Their desire for each other mount, but they fear the one golden rule. With just one touch their contract is dissolved, destroying everything they've built and keeping them apart forever.

Rated: E

Status: Complete

FFN

AO3

~Garden and Lace (NaLu)

By the end of their mission, Levy is over Natsu and Lucy's arguing. She decides to take matters into her own hands. To finally have some peace and quiet, she traps them in her little glass bottle that houses her secret garden. With lots of time to kill, Natsu and Lucy must make up, but Lucy has other sensual plans of revenge.

Rated: E

Status: Complete

FFN

AO3

~Tell Her You Love Her (NaLu)

Every night Natsu wakes in a cold sweat. Clearly, the cough is waking him, not his dreams of her. It isn't the flowers that tumble from his lips that scare him. It's telling Lucy he loves her. (Hanahaki)

Rated: E

Status: Complete

FFN

AO3

~Looks Like Rent Is Due (NaLu)

Lucy is fired, again. Saving the day with psychic abilities isn't as rewarding as you think it is. Down on her luck, and with only half rent, she strikes a deal with her landlord's brother, a vampire named Natsu. Free rent for free blood. At least it's a trial run, and he's incredibly hot.

Rated: E

Status: Complete

FFN

AO3

~A Smutty ENDing

Lucy wakes up from the most thrilling wet dream she's ever had. In her delirium, she writes it down. But not in the book she thought. Natsu isn't going to be happy that she wrote smut in the book of E.N.D. Well, maybe he is.

Rated: E

Status: Complete

FFN

AO3

FT Multi-chapter₊˚⊹☆

~Drained (NaLu)

After Lucy and Natsu are poisoned by a mysterious wanted criminal, they begin to share strange and emotional dreams. As they find themselves drawn closer together by their intimate interactions while asleep, something dangerous is happening to their bodies while awake. To find a cure they must go on a treacherous journey to recapture the escaped criminal.

Rated: E

Status: Ongoing (Planning on remastering and adding final chapter plus epilogue.)

FFN

~Desire in Strawberries (NaLu)

Natsu and Lucy are swept away by a festival held by their wealthy client, Lady Nakahara. There is more than mystery and the scent of strawberries in the air as they find themselves intimately closer to one another. What they thought was a friendly feast turns into something more as the puzzling night goes on.

Rated: E

Status: Ongoing (Replotting)

FFN

~Fairies After Dark (NaLu)

Natsu, a Horde vampire, desires nothing more than to find his father and leave his brother behind. Lucy, an immortal Valkyrie, needs to get this Horde bounty off her head. Doesn't help the assassin after her is a gorgeous vampire with cherry pink hair.

Rated: E

Status: Ongoing (Priority Fic)

FFN

AO3

NaLu lovefest 2017₊˚⊹☆

~Day 1: Lust (Fruit and Fantasy)

Look but don't touch. Natsu and Lucy volunteered to help for the Fairy Tail fresh market. Keeping their hands to themselves, and fantasies at bay seem to be harder for them than they thought

Rated: E

Status: Complete

FFN

~Day 3: Hickey (Shiver)

Natsu and Lucy take a job that sends them on a hike into the mountains. It's a cold winter day and steamy night before they make it to their destination.

Rated: E

Status: Complete

FFN

AO3

~Day 5: Chains (Chains)

Lucy is rewarded a virtual reality headset by a client. It was fun to create new places with one of her best friends. It isn't until Natsu turns up, with sexy intentions, that she finds herself way over her head.

Rated: E

Status: Complete (3 ch. 16k words)

FFN

AO3

One Piece

One Piece One Shots₊˚⊹☆

~Comfort Me (Zoyori/ Zoro x Hiyori)

After a vicious attack by ninja in the region of Hakumai in Wano, Zoro and Hiyori stop to rest at Enma shrine. Their curiosity in each other bubble to the surface as she confesses her drive to take vengeance into her own hands. Feeling powerless, they find comfort in each other, even for the moment of reprieve they so longed for.

Rated: E

Status: Complete

FFN 

AO3

Diamond No Ace

DNA Drabbles₊˚⊹☆

~Winter (MiyuSawa)

Romance, Slice of Life

Status: Complete

Requests

~END!Lucy (NaLu)

Angst

Status: Complete

[thestarsofpines]

okay depression time. rant and possibly triggering stuff ahead

i see all this amazing art of hijack and vld and all i think of is how i feel my art has stagnated over the years, especially after graduation from college. i try hard to turn that jealousy into inspiration but fuck it’s hard. especially seeing how young some of these amazing artists are and it just makes me feel…like ive missed my time, i guess. im so proud of these artists, but jealousy is a bitch and i wish i could fully eradicate it from my being

jealousy makes me feel gross.

i know i need to just, keep drawing but it’s hard too, i guess i’m in an art block because very few of my sketches i even want to try and finish. and those that i do i don’t like the end product, so it feels like a waste but i know it’s not!! i know it’s productive to keep drawing and practicing but…i don’t know. i don’t know what to do to make myself happy with my art. practice yes obviously but i feel like i want to draw in so many different ways and do different things and try stuff way above my skill level

i’m just tired, man. like, of life in general. job searching is hell, student loans start up soon and without a source of income outside of unemployment im so stressed about that. i’m switching doctors for my mental health stuff because i’m on six different meds and none are really helping enough to the point that i don’t want to not exist. like, i don’t actively want to kill myself, but i also don’t want to be here, existing as i am. and that scares me to admit, obviously. i’ve stopped cutting but i still scratch and hit myself when i get overwhelmed with emotion, and don’t even get me started on my perception of myself. i hate how much weight i’ve gained and how little i’m motivated to change my habits to combat it. i want to be healthy but i don’t have the energy to put in the work to make my lifestyle better.

this got way off topic and honestly made me upset but i guess it’s better than bottling it up. my dad is here for one more day before he flies back to ohio and part of me wants him to stay because he helps me keep on track with job searching and eating regular meals and not sleeping all morning. but i know he needs to go back home to my mom and that i need to be a damn adult and do this shit on my own. i’m 26 for fucks sake. but here i am back on tumblr like i was when i was 16.

…at least now i can drive. i got over that fear out of pure necessity by making myself move multiple states away for a job i wasn’t even in love with. so like, i know i can overcome shit, i don’t know how looking back to be honest. i feel like i need a kick like that again but i don’t think i’m mentally stable enough for that.

fuck this just made me feel worse. mostly. ugh.

[asexual-means-no-attraction]

sorry if this is a random question but I think I need some advice (ramblings ahead)

I've been thinking hard about trying to go to college this year, mainly for social interaction since I'm very deprived of that. but at the same time, I'm pre-t, have no idea when I'll be able to start t and pass about 5% of the time.

I'd rather have my arms and legs cut off than girlmode, and I'm not sure if it's a good idea to lie about having some chromosome disorder or being intersex. I don't care about passing as the manliest macho man ever I just prefer not to have people think I'm just a "tr*nny", a lesbian or a delusional chick or whatever. my country is also not... the biggest fan of trans people (we have the leading numbers in lgbt people murdered, hooray!!) so safety is also a concern.

did you have a similar experience of trying to be stealth pre t, and how was it? is lying a bit about yourself/your past okay if it is for your safety? I really want to go to college because social isolation is killing me, but at the same time I hate the thought of interacting with other people because so many of them will just think of me as a girl pretending to be a guy and i've had shitty experiences with people from school/work knowing I was trans in the past. but being a social recluse probably doesn't help, does it.

(sorry for this being so long and rambly and thank you in advance for taking time to read this)

Oof. That sounds very stressful. I definitely understand the worry. I'm going to try and make sure I tackle everything but feel free to follow up if I miss anything.

College is a great place for social interaction. Classes give you something talk about and let you see people regularly. It also gives you something to focus on besides just talking to people. But it's also not the only place. I don't know if you have them, but there are clubs and meetups for adults that might also be helpful. I'm in a hiking group for example.

Many community centers and libraries will have activities and classes you can take for free or cheap. Nice thing about these is they are short term. I always found myself worried a lot less about passing if I'm not going to see the people around me again. A club would be long term, but you'd see the people less which might be helpful for stress/safety/anxiety. All of them have low commitments too so you can quit or leave easily.

I have a post here that has times lower on for passing when you are pre everything. It's not perfect, but it might be useful for you. I swore I had another but I can't find it.

I'd be careful lying about being intersex. The last thing you want is to be caught up in it and run into issues. If safety is an issue, as unfortunately and terrible as it is, your best bet would be to stay in the closet. I know how much it sucks, trust me I do. But it's safer to let people think you're a women than trans when push comes to shove. I did that a few times before I really started passing. You do what you have to.

That said, lying is always ok for your safety. You need to be careful with it. But it's better to lie then to die.

If possible, it's always good to find a college that's more accepting. People there will be more likely to see you as you are. Not sure if going abroad or anything is possible. But definitely don't throw out your options right away. Research and see what you can actually do and what you're willing to do. Cuz I totally get not wanting to go far from home.

Are there any LGBT centers or communities around you?? Those are a great place to go and actually feel like yourself. If it's not safe to do that, then definitely prioritize what's best for you.

The hardest part is just putting yourself out there and going for it. It's ok to fail. There's always other chances and other people to befriend. It's scary and there will always be that worry. But putting it off just makes things harder in the long run. Sometimes you really do just have to try and hope it goes ok. I really do think a library or community club would help better though. It's less commitment and often cheaper. You'll also meet more varied age ranges. I find groups with lots of different ages are often more accepting because of all the different experiences and people being more willing to sit and explain/listen to things.

Good luck 🤞🤞🤞