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recurring-polynya · 4 years ago

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Do I mind if I ask how you approach writing longer fic? I've always struggled to write anything more than maybe two chapters long and I'm curious if you have a particular method to how you approach such stories.

Thank you so much for this ask! I absolutely love it when people ask me for writing advice because it makes me feel like a Smart Person Who Knows Things.

Before we start, here is one grain of salt to take all of this with: I have a naturally long-form brain. It is very hard for me to write something less than 1k. Short fiction is great, and there is nothing wrong with sticking to short things if that's what your brain likes to do.

So. You have decided to write a story. This is going to focus on "stories". Some people write fic that's more freeform or whatever, I am not going to cover that. What I mean by a story is this:

It starts

Some stuff happens

It ends

It is highly probable that your story contains a change of state, which could be that a villain is defeated, or a goal is reached, but it could also be that character falls in love with another, or someone learns to like broccoli.

I like to start out by completing the sentence, "This is a story where _______". This is basically like coming up with a summary for an ao3 post, except that it doesn't need to be catchy. Lots of different kinds of things could go in that blank! It could literally be what happens: This is a story where Ichigo goes back in time and punches young Aizen in the nose. It could be about what you want to explore: This is a story where Hitsugaya gets a better understanding of his zanpakutou. It could be about the vibe you want to achieve: This is an AU where everyone is in a punk rock band and has cool hair and outfits. The idea of this is to clearly define what you, the author, is interested in writing. Make sure it feels right! Maybe you pick the first one, but when you say it out loud, you say, "You know, I really just want Ichigo to go back in time so he can horse around with young Renji and Rukia and punching Aizen in the nose is just an excuse for that." That may sound dumb, but it's fine, actually! Most people don't read stories strictly for the plot, they read stories for the implications of those plots! Will my favorite two characters kiss? Will there be funny interactions between these two groups of characters? Will there be sick fights? Stories are excuses to have scenes. Sometimes, you will have a story where the interesting sequence of events is the draw, but the point is to know what you're about.

Once you feel happy with your "mission statement", you need to decide the bounds of your story: where it starts and where it ends. It may be easier to start with the end. In some cases, it may be obvious from your mission statement: everyone gets home, a villain is defeated, Kenpachi realizes the meaning of friendship. On the other hand, let's look at that punk rock AU. You've picked a vibe, but you don't really have a natural story arc. It has to have a destination, though, otherwise, it's not really a story, it's a recipe for 3 chapters of an abandoned fanfic. So brainstorm a little: Maybe they get a record deal? Maybe they win a Battle of the Bands? Maybe Byakuya accepts that the band is actually good and tells Rukia he is proud of her. Do not settle for a plot just because it works. Pick something that makes you excited! You're the one who is gonna have to write it!

I said that we needed to pick a beginning point, too, but I'm actually going to skip that for now. The next thing I do is think of all the Big Scenes I want to write, the ones you are hype to write, the ones that pop in your head as you think about the premise. Make a bullet list. They don't need to be in order. The descriptions don't need to be super detailed, but write down anything about it that is important to you. If there's a mood or a snippet of dialogue or a joke you want to make, go ahead and jot that down so you don't forget it later. What you're doing now is putting broad blotches of color on a canvas, filling in space and leaving the detail for later.

Once you are pretty happy with what you have down, try to arrange it in chronological order. Put your end at the end (if it wasn't one of your big scenes, add it now). The next task is figuring out how to traverse your scenes. You've already picked out where you want to spend the majority of your energy. The rest, I regret to tell you, is your slog writing. Now, it often happens that you will find joy in some of these scenes and your best writing may occur there, but that's serendipity. These are the scenes that you are gonna have to make yourself sit down and write, so you honestly want to limit them to just the ones you need.

So how do we do this? Look at the first thing on the list. Can you start there? If so, congrats, that's your beginning. If you can't, what needs to happen to get to there? Where can you start so that you can get to your first fun scene as soon as possible? There. That’s it. You’ve picked your beginning, good job! Now, go through the rest of your list, and add in things that must happen, even if you don’t particularly look forward to writing them. The characters need to travel from geographic point A to point B. Shuuhei needs to say something that Izuru hears and misinterprets. The Central 46 makes a new law. If you have a good idea of how these things happen, go ahead and write them down, but it’s okay if you don’t know yet. Fill in all the blanks so that if you think of each bullet list as a scene, you could read it as a story, start to end. Once you get writing, you might add more scenes, or move things around or whatever, but you should have a thing that functions as a story.

If you struggle with this, an alternative is a story with a very strong structure that is going to guide you though what you have to write.Here are two examples from my own stories Hold On, Hold On (which is only one chapter, but the principle is the same) is structured around the 5 stages of grief. Not Broken, Just Bent takes place over roughly a week, and I just decided what happened every day of the week. See You on the Other Side takes place in the middle of a bunch of canon events, which worked at mile markers.

Congratulations. You’ve just made a rough outline!

Special note for avoiding burnout!: I am a slogger. I will drag myself through the broken glass of an interminable plot to get to a single thirsty scene. That's why, at this stage, I try to look at the ratio of what I want to write to what I must write. It's gonna vary for everyone, but this is a hobby, and if looking at this proto-outline makes you feel deeply tired, maybe this isn't a good story to be devoting your time to! Can you carve it down? Can you chuck two scenes you really want to write and get rid of 80% of the slog? Or maybe you can't! In that case, just write that thirsty scene as a standalone drabble! Or just go work on something else! Maybe in the future, this one will come back to you and you’ll have a fresh idea or a renewed enthusiasm for it.

Another thing I sometimes like to do at this point is to write out some notes about my characters and their motivations and moods. Character A is homesick. Character B is so determined to defeat the enemy that they are having a hard time being sympathetic to Character A. Character C cares for both A and B and is trying to support them both. This is sort of background info that you want to keep in your head as you are writing. Depending on the type of story you are writing, this might actually be the main plot, or it might be happening subtly, but adding to the emotional impact of the story. It’s very easy for me to write these sorts of emotional arcs, but if you struggle with that, you may wish to go ahead and made a more detailed outline for that, too.

Now, it’s time to start writing! I am great at beginnings-- it is very often the case for me that the opening scene was one of my Big Tentpole Scenes. (Before you hate me too much, I make up for this by being double horrible at endings; just let me have this) Usually, I will start at the beginning and write linearly for as long as I can until I get stuck. Then, I will look forward on my outline and do the next chronological scene that I feel like writing. In general, if I sit down to write and there is something I have an urge to write, that trumps everything else. Inspiration is a precious commodity, and you should embrace it when it hits! You can slog any day. I will occasionally hold off writing a scene that I really want to, because I am saving it, like a prize for myself for getting that far. This is a very personal process of figuring out what motivates your brain and then giving your brain what it needs to be its most productive.

Eventually, you will run out of things you are excited to write, but the good news is, you’ve got a bunch of story now! Odds are that what’s left is going to be a lot of those connective tissue scenes, and you’re just going to have to do them, except that now, because you’re connecting two concrete points instead of two abstract points, it will be a lot easier. You can continue running jokes you’ve started. Maybe you invented a cafe in an earlier scene where your characters hang out and you can have them return there. Try to think of ways to make these scenes more fun, both for yourself to write and for your reader to read.

Around this time, I like to start refining that rough strokes outline into what I will call an “as-built” outline. (This is an engineering term where you update your plans or models for something to reflect any changes that had to be made along the way). This is a great activity to do at times when you feel like you have writers block. I write down every scene I have written as a 2-3 word blurb, in order. I break the scenes into what I think makes logical chapters, and I will do a word count on those prospective chapters and write it down. As you do this, you will realize that maybe you can move a scene from here to there, which will make it 1000% easier to write. Things may be happening too much, or you’ve got the characters eating three times in the same chapter. If you have subplots and dangling threads, this is where you make sure they get closure. I know this sounds very headache-y, but you are so far along in the story at this point that it’s really not-- it’s a way to look at the problems you have left. Use some sort of formatting (I like to bold things I haven’t done and sometimes I put them in red) and it gives you a very visual to-do list.

You specifically mentioned multi-chapter fanfics and I admit that I don’t tend to think in chapters, I tend to think of the story as a whole and just break it up where it feels natural. The as-built outlining I described is very helpful in making sure that my chapters feel balanced. They don’t necessarily need to be the same length, but I like them to have the same amount of stuff in them. One chapter may basically contain one long scene, and other may contain many short ones. I don’t tend to, but you can certainly have a fanfic that varies between short and long chapters, that can actually be an interesting effect. But like I said, I always like to know what I am doing, and so having it mapped out, you can say “welp, this is what I’ve done, how do I feel about that?”

Polynya, you may be saying at this point, do you write the whole fanfic before you post any of it? and I regret to inform you, the answer is yes. A lot of people write as they go, and I have made one attempt at this and I didn’t like it. I don’t like locking myself in, I just need to be able write out of order and go back and change things. Here is the story of a little in love: someone gave me an AU prompt and I got mildly obsessed with it, and wrote 5 snapshots drabbles in that universe, ending with a slight cliffhanger ending. I probably should have stopped there, but I decided to keep going. I wrote out an outline of 5 acts where the first act was detailed to the degree of each chapter being specified. The chapters here were much smaller than I usually make chapters: 1-2k. I wrote act i and ii and it was actually great, and then I hit act iii which required a lot of set up for misunderstandings and a mini romance arc. I couldn’t wing it, but nor could I figure it all out with outlining. I write dialogue in almost sort of an improv “Yes, and...?” style, so until I do it, I don’t know what’s going to happen. So, what I did was treat the second half of act iii as a complete story in the process I describe above, wrote the entire rest of it, and then posted it. One might notice that the chapter lengths grew to 3-5k each. I have two more acts to go, and I haven’t decided how I am going to do them yet, but I suspect I will treat each of them as their own mini-stories.

(I will admit that in Heart is a Muscle, I tend toward chapters that are about 10k long, and this is honestly too long, someone should smack me. If you like punchy chapters, 1-2k is good. I think 3-6k is probably an ideal chapter length. Is this how long the chapters are in my latest fanfic? Absolutely not.)

Okay, so there’s one more step, which is quality control. I am habitual re-reader-- I read my fanfics-in-progress over and over and over while I am working on them. I understand that not everyone does this, but I am usually the primary audience for my own writing, and this is the actual fun part for me. Nevertheless, you should re-read your work at least once, to make sure it hangs together.

This is purely optional, but I recommend it: get a writing friend (if you don’t like re-reading your work, I recommend this even more strongly). If you can get a full-service beta reader, that’s great, but if you can’t find someone, or if receiving that level of critique stresses you out, it’s perfectly valid to just find a friend who will read your stuff and a) shower you with compliments, b) reassure you about parts you aren’t sure about (or suggest ways to help) and c) point out any huge problems you missed. When I am writing a long fanfic, it is a huge motivational factor for me to be able to send my beta chapters as I finish them. If you are already an established writer, and you have people who consistently comment on your fic, they might be overjoyed to get a sneak peak at your work.

And that’s it! That’s the way I do it, anyway! Some people are able to sit down and write a very detailed outline and the write it start-to-finish. Good for them, I say! I have tried this and it doesn’t work great for me. I will admit that some of my fics (especially my early ones) I just sat down and banged out whole-cloth like an insane person and they are generally better than the ones I actually plan out, but that’s not a reproducible process.

As one final mechanical note, I usually write in Google Docs, which I can access on multiple devices (I used to write a lot on my phone), has convenient sharing functionality, and I use the ao3 html formatting script add-in. I generally have two documents for a single story-- one is the outline, and any other notes I want to have handy. I’ll usually put a trashcan space at the bottom for scenes that got cut but I don’t want to lose. The other is the fanfic itself.

I hope this is helpful! Please feel free to follow up with other questions and good luck with your writing!

#writing advice #longform writing

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mismess · 4 years ago

Text

Jeremy went to pick up coffee.

Now Jeremy didn’t always drink coffee in the morning but this day he was asked to get some, so while he’s there he might as well indulge. He could use a boost of energy anyway.

So on his usual drive to work he took a small detour to a local coffee shop, he got two coffees, one medium roast with extra milk and sugar, one dark roast with milk and one sugar. He didn’t think to get more, he wasn’t told to get more so why would he?

This dark roast with milk and one sugar had to do with a call, a call he got early in the morning, around 6:30 am, which is too early and it probably woke up half the house, it was Scotty calling from work, Jeremy didn’t think Scott really registered what time it was, he sounded out of it, but still profusely apologized about his request for him to pick up coffee.

This leads back to a scene from earlier in the week, the coffee pot in the break room had been broken leaving the Fazbear employee’s caffeineless, which isn’t a problem for him but Scott seemed rather upset about it, he did recall him often having a cup in hand, might explain some of his jumpiness, perhaps Scott should cut back on the caffeine actually.

Just another unhealthy habit Jeremy thought to himself

But the thing is Scott almost NEVER asks anything of anyone, even if he probably should, so of course Jeremy agreed. He can’t turn down the one time he’s asked for something, even if it fueled that habit, it was the least problematic of them anyway.

So Jeremy picked up the coffee.

As he arrived at the pizzeria and walked inside, the main entrance opened up to a large open room, to the left were tables that costumers sat to eat pizza and watch the animatronic band perform, the flooring was black and white tile while the walls had star patterned wallpaper with colorful images of the band along on some of the walls, other walls had a few drawings from past costumers put up on display. To the right of the entrance he saw Fritz in their usual spot, in the prize corner near the games, while all their jobs were rather loose in nature and you simply go where you’re needed, that was their ‘main’ job, they take tickets and exchange them for prizes, Fritz was often leaving that post however to help a kid cheat at ski ball or something.

The place had been open for just around an hour, there was a couple of older kids lingering around on the arcade games but it was far from busy. Fritz didn’t take notice that Jeremy had arrived as they were messing with the little prizes behind the counter, such as the finger traps and those rubber poppers. He liked those poppers if he was being honest, and sometimes took one for his own enjoyment.

Jeremy walked past the prize corner and towards the break room, it always felt rude to talk to someone unless they were close enough to him, -what that distance was exactly he didn’t really know himself, depended on the mood and person-, or if said person directly talked to him first, and it felt silly to walk all the way up to someone just to say hello and turn away. So he stayed quiet. This sometimes labeled him as rude either way if someone expected a greeting and he didn’t supply.

He opened the break room door to find Scotty sitting at a table, slumped forward propping his head up with his hands while rubbing his temples with his thumbs, but when he heard the door he looked up, almost in a startled fashion, but that friendly crooked smile he always has on quickly replaced his nervous face.

Jeremy liked that crooked smile, it always leaned towards the right of his face, showing off his dimple on that side.

Underneath his smile however he looked tired, and it seemed like he just got more worn down with every day that went by. Scotty’s always been an overachiever when it came to work, he took long hours and probably did the equivalent of three people's jobs at the same time, but lately it seemed like it’s taken a toll on him. Jeremy’s tried to discourage this behavior in the past but that would usually just end with Scott finding a way to weasel his way out of those conversations.

There wasn’t much to the break room, it had a couple of plain tables strewn about with mismatched chairs surrounding them, a counter against the wall to the left of the entrance with a microwave sitting on it, the coffee pot formerly sat next to it as well, with a couple of cupboards above it that didn’t house much of anything besides a few cups, and at the end of the counter a fridge.

“I’m here.” Jeremy announced, giving him a quick smile

“Oh thank God! I have such a headache-” Scotty said as he shot out of his chair and walked over to Jeremy

Jeremy held out the dark roast with milk and one sugar to Scott

Scott took it and realized he wasn’t being very polite, “OH- Sorry, uh- Hello! How ya doing?” he asked, but quickly followed it up with another question “ Oh, how much was it?”

“Um. I’m fine. And you don’t have to worry about payment.” Jeremy reassured him

“Nonsense!” Scott said, reaching into his pocket “You are NOT paying for my addictions... Ah-!”

“- That’ll do!” Scott said while handing him a crumpled-up wad of spare change, just looking at it Jeremy could tell it was way too much for one dark roast with milk and one sugar.

Before Jeremy could say anything the break room door swung open again as Fritz walked in

“Ooooh, coffee!” Fritz said as they walked by Jeremy “Didn’t get me one~?” Fritz said in a tone that seemed playful, but Jeremy couldn’t quite tell if it was. He’s never been good at picking up tones very well.

“I didn’t know you wanted one, I’m sorry.” Jeremy said. He should have got more coffee, for everyone.

“Nah it’s ok, Jere, I’m joking, I’m sure Scotty called before I was even here.” Fritz said leaning on Scott’s shoulder while he sipped on his dark roast with milk and one sugar

“Wait a minute-” Jeremy started as he realized what time Scott really did call at “You did call from here right? Just how early did you get here?”

But before Scott was able to answer Fritz piped in instead "Dude, he’s BEEN here since 12 last night!” they gave Scott a friendly nudge, but as Scott pulled the coffee away from his mouth he gave out this nervous chuckle

“Wait- wait- Scott, you’re working the night shift?” Jeremy asked, he suddenly felt a sense of dread at the mention of it

“Um. Uh- Yeah, heh...” Scott said awkwardly

Jeremy hadn’t realized Scott had taken over the night shift, no wonder this man seemed more exhausted than usual.

“But you’re here during the day all the time!” Jeremy stated “Ok- Just how many double shifts do you take?”

“Uh- W-Whatever I’m a- asked..?” Scott said with a nervous grin, his shoulders raised up as if to brace himself, he put his coffee down on the table

“Scott-- God the night shift-- Do you LEAVE?”

“O- Of course! I can’t live here!”

“You say that like you would if you could!” Jeremy was obviously showing frustration in his voice, he didn’t mean to but the amount of work this man did stressed Jeremy out, and the night shift stressed him out even more

“Well- I mean- I’m not doing anything else anyway-” Scott started

“Well you should! Scotty you’re already working so many hours, do you sleep?! You have to realize this isn’t healthy-!” Jeremy was cut off by the break room door opening again

William stood in the doorway, his usual calm demeanor did not seem to be about him today, his brow furrowed and shoulders hunched in a manner unlike him “... What is going on in here?” he asked

“- Brought up Scott’s poor work-life balance, now the boys are fighting.” Fritz told him

William pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed “... Ok. I don’t care- There’s currently no employees out on the floor and a birthday party in an hour, can we stop the chit-chat and get things moving.” he snapped

“Yes, you’re right, William!” Scott quickly moved past William out the door on to the floor, obviously glad to find a reason to stop the conversation. William followed.

Jeremy took a deep breath as he watched him walk away “... You think Scotty works too much too, right?” he turned to Fritz, hoping he had an ally, fearing he might be coming off a little too overprotective.

“Oh definitely,” Fritz replied “He’s stubborn when it comes to work tho, you can’t get that guy to sit down. Seeing as you didn’t know he’s on the night shift I guess you haven’t seen his schedule, you should take a look, that thing is a MESS.”

Fritz walked out the door as well, leaving Jeremy alone with his medium roast with extra milk and extra sugar. He didn’t like the mood that was left hanging in this room, he felt bad for getting upset with Scotty, his problems wouldn’t improve just cause Jeremy got fussy with him. But Scotty always pushed these things aside, insisting they could “bring it up later” or “it’s not that bad” or simply just changing the subject, he didn’t know how to talk about it with him without getting fussy at this point.

It seemed like most of their recent conversations ended in frustration. Scotty grew a lot more distant after The Bite, and didn’t tell him about anything anymore, and if asked he would brush him off, he stopped having lunch with him or Fritz and usually spent most his time working or talking with William so any time for socializing was spent elsewhere. He missed his friend.

He didn’t want to just drop it but he didn’t know what more he could do, if Scotty didn’t want his help he can’t force him to talk to him or make him take less hours.

... The night shift...

Jeremy had sworn off the night shift after his first and only week on it, he didn’t like thinking about it, but the reason it was so bad was the animatronics weren’t right, they had something wrong with them, which is why they were scrapped. Those animatronics that seemed out for his blood weren’t in use anymore, and with them the problems of the night shift were gone. At least that’s what William said, Jeremy had no intentions of seeing that for himself, just the thought gave him anxieties.

But that means at least Scott would have the 6 hours to just sit down and relax, right?

He still didn’t think it was good, and Scott definitely should be taking more time off, but maybe Jeremy’s reaction was a bit unwarranted. He would apologize for his harsh tone when he got the chance.

Jeremy took both his medium roast with extra milk and sugar and the half-drunken dark roast with milk and one sugar and put them in the break room’s fridge, maybe they could drink them at lunch together later he thought.

and he got to work.

#What prompted this? idk. just wanted to write SOMETHING suddenly #jeremy fitzgerald #phone guy #fritz smith #fnaf #writing #can't even tell if i like this but I've put hours in it now so lmao HEEERRE <3 #scotty guy

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writingsbychlo · 5 years ago

Text

put her together again (05)

word count; 6603

summary; mitch takes you out on a little excursion upon your request, before making a not so pleasant discovery upon return to your home.

notes; just cute. that’s it. enjoy that, before it all goes shit.

warnings; none!

Despite Irene’s warnings to stay away, and her instructions to let you develop in your own home, Mitch just couldn't find it within himself to stay away.

He missed you, he missed having company, and he’d ended up spending more than half of his time with you, or at least, that was how it seemed, as he became quickly familiar with how it felt to sleep on your couch, which was surprisingly more comfortable than his own. He wasn’t blind to the fact that you had been given an apartment that very purposefully didn’t have a guest room, discouraging him from wanting to stay, but he was used to tough-living on assignments, and as long as he wasn’t sleeping on the floor, a couch seemed like a dream.

A blanket and a pillow from the storage cupboard had found a new home with permanent placement on the shelf under the coffee table, so on every night that he chose to stay over, there was easy access to what he needed. You had out sorted the clothing the had gifted to you into a new drawer, so that he always knew how to get to it when he needed a change of clothes the following morning, and he hadn't missed the level of trust that had been rolled out to him about being given access to your bedroom to get to it.

That was your private space, that was somewhere that only the people that were most important to you should be allowed to enter, those whom you trusted with your life, and you’d granted that to him, and while you hadn't said the words, he didn’t miss their meaning.

Mitch had also put a great effort into encouraging you to go out in public, and learn where you were. While not being as fond of the idea of you wandering around on your own while everything was still a risk, he was aware that it was a witness protection area, and that you were still going to be safe going out and about here, and it did bring him a little reassurance when he was at his own home, and thinking about what you might be up to.

You now had a gym membership, no longer having to work out at home, and you’d never been exposed to such equipment and that kind of environment, and the look of pure joyous shock that had been on your face had lived in the front of his mind for over a week, a smile on his face anytime he thought about yours. Occasionally, he ventured out to the spot with you, he wasn’t much of a fan of traditional workouts, or of doing it in front of other people, but you were thriving in that environment, and he was willing to make the sacrifice just to spend time with you.

As much as he ever hated to admit that Irene was right about something, she hadn't been wrong in her conclusion here.

Her claims that putting you alone and letting you flourish as your own being, developing your ideas and your personality, you really were breaking out of your shell. For as much progress as you’d made living with him, you were reaping that in tenfold here. You had a favourite spot in the little coffee shop, and the servers called you a regular, knowing your order by heart anytime you came through the door, the little bell overhead jingling. You had ventured as far as the row of old-style looking buildings on a little corner off of the high street, and he had noticed that sometimes your fingers had paint stains on and smears across your clothes when he arrived without warning, catching the canvases of all shapes and sizes stacked in your closet and the corners of your rooms.

They reflected your moods, that much he could tell. Some were bright explosions of colours, yellows and greens and pale blue, everything joyous and fun and he liked those ones the most, always on bigger canvases as you illustrated your feelings.

Some were darker, swirls of navy and purples, slightly wonky, done in the morning light after you woke up from nightmares on the days he wasn’t just a few metres away to hold you and soothe you through the anxiety until the sun finished rising and took it all away.

He didn’t like the others, the ones that were blacks and greys, mixed with splatters of reds, and he didn’t know what prompted them, he didn’t know when you painted those ones or why, but when he looked closely enough he could see the circular stains on the canvases from dropped tears that distorted the paints. There were no shapes on those ones, just drags of brushes in frantic and erratic directions, nothing that gave you any reassurance or made sense, it was a mess that you just splayed over the surface until the white material was replaced with layers of dark oil paints to express your pain.

Painting was the best way you knew how to get out the feelings you had inside that you didn’t know how to process, something he’d learned had been introduced to you by your therapist, expanding on the simple drawings he’d had you doing while living with him.

You were making friends, sometimes you came home with a receipt from the coffee shop with two drinks, someone at the gym who you’d been spotting on the weights and going for a drink afterwards, or befriending the older lady who worked on putting books back in the library. You’d met a couple in your therapy waiting room, two men who were there for marriage counselling, and they had begun to go for lunch with you every Saturday at the local café after your sessions.

He was happy for you, he truly was, listening to you talk to him about how people at the gym had begun to ask you for advice on their workouts, and the manager had even offered you a job as a personal trainer - one that you’d refused, not quite ready for that yet - but you were still happy just to be having other people to talk to. People who didn’t want anything from you, people had had no ulterior motives in being with you other than friendship, and that was definitely something that you deserved from the world, after everything you had been put through.

That was exactly how Mitch had found himself here, stirring his coffee slowly as he watched you buzz around your kitchen, teaspoon clinking against the edge of the mug as steam curled up into the air. You were making breakfast, sleep still crawling at your features, but you were now making double the quantities you had been planning on, his arrival unexpected but you never turned him away when he knocked at your door.

There was bacon and eggs, he could smell it on the air, his stomach rumbling happily, and he was sure that he looked just as sleep-mussed as you did, he’d barely pulled on his shoes, not even bothering to change out of his pyjamas when he’d woken this morning, just wanting to get on the road and on his way to visit you.

You were spinning the tale to him all about the group therapy session you’d had, giggling as you spoke about Edith, who had an incredible dark-humour, anger issues and a God complex, and always made you laugh when you saw her. Mitch was grinning as he raised his brows a little, bringing the edge of his cup to his lips to hide his expression.

“Are you sure you should be telling me all these juicy details about your friends?”

You shrugged, turning to grin at him over your shoulder as you plated up the breakfast foods, and he almost groaned at the sights of it, stomach clenching angrily with hunger, before you were passing it over to him. Eggs, bacon, pancakes; he felt like he was in heaven, loving getting to know another person in this kind of intimate way, missing having someone to share the lazy mornings with before exhaustions had fully left his mind and he was still a little hazy in his post-sleep state. “Who else am I supposed to tell it to?”

“Fair point.” He sighed, taking the plate with a mumbled ‘thank you’ before he was grabbing for his cutlery, watching as you took the seat across from him and dug into your own food.

“Besides, Mary from the library is lovely but she can't keep a secret for anything, and Elliot and Greg love to gossip, it’s how I find out half of my gossip, and the gym is where I find out pretty much all of the other half, so I can’t tell them, because they’re who I’m gossiping about!” You grinned, dragging a piece of bacon and pancake from your fork with your teeth, and chewing happily, and Mitch simply rolled his eyes in response, but couldn't stop the curl of his lips into a smile.

“So, I’m just your Pandora’s Box of therapy tales and gym gossip about your friends?”

“Yes.” You smirked, watching as he gasped in fake offence, and he didn’t even both to cut any of his bacon, trying to force the entire strip into his mouth at once, and a droplet of grease gathered at the corner of his mouth, prompting him to lick it away as you scowled at his gross behaviour. “Despite that undignified display, you’re also my best friend. For whatever reason.”

“Does that mean you don’t gossip about me, then?”

“I would never!” It was your turn to mock him, and he grinned cheesily, repeating the action with the next piece of meat, and you groaned, tearing your eyes away from him and fixing them on your plate as you made a show of neatly cutting your food into pieces to eat. “So, are you busy today?”

“That depends on what you have planned. I’m not going to look at curtains with you again, I can still feel that old lady’s fingers on my ass.”

You snorted, almost choking on your food as you remembered the day he’d had his ass pinched by a rambunctious old woman in the curtains store, and he glanced across the room, looking at the hanging drapes he’d helped install, the entire memory tainted with that of the startling encounter. You were still snickering into your meal, smiling with every bite you took, and sipping at your coffee, the suspense killing him.

“C’mon, out with it. What kind of crap are you going to drag me through today?”

“Well, not today, technically. I was thinking more tonight.” He hummed, prompting you to go on with what you had to say, and the scraping of metal on ceramic was filling the silence as he waited for you. “Will you take me to this little jazz bar I saw?”

“A jazz bar?”

You were a little more timid now, eyes fixed on your food as you became embarrassed of your request, and he didn’t want you to feel like that, not with him. He just couldn't quite fathom why you’d want to go to a jazz bar of all places, but he was willing to do so if it made you happy.

“Sure, but if we’re going to a jazz bar then I want the full experience. I’ll be drinking aged whiskey from a tumbler with one of those balls of ice in it, and I’ll be hungover. I’m crashing on your couch, and you have to cook breakfast again in the morning.” He raised his brows at you, watching as you perked back up, nodding happily and motioning over your shoulder to the fridge.

“I have those sausages that you like.”

“Then it’s a deal.”

You cheered happily, whooping to yourself, before a comfortable quiet took over the room and you were left to finish your meals while simply soaking up the comfort of being together. There was no plan for the rest of the day, but after a few showers, and cleaning up the kitchen together, a vague plan to run some errands had been formed. You’d offered him the chance to go home several times, and yet he always refused, just as happy to wander the library with you and put back your books as he was to grab coffee with you, and go to the store to pick up a week’s worth of groceries.

If he was there when you went shopping, he got a say on the things you bought, and then he knew what there was for the days he came over to have a meal with you.

After cleaning up, on your way out, you had swung by his place, changing into something more suitable for a day of chores with you, and letting you sit in the car and flick through the music CD’s he had laying around on the backseat, bringing a blazer back out with him and a bag of things he’d need for his overnight stay, before the two of you had been off and on your way. As decided, you’d gone to the library first, a pile of books in your arms as you pushed the door open with your back, greeting the woman behind the desk and checking your books back in, dropping the stack into the returns, before making your way through the aisles.

His arms had been loaded with books, holding them all for you as you climbed up and down the steps and stools to reach the high shelves trailing from one end of the building to the other, and up and down the stairs, as this time, you curated a collection of everything from a space-travel fantasy book to a non-fiction about lions and their hunting patterns.

You had shown him your coffee joint, one you’d taken him to a few times before, but had redecorated since he’d last been, and was promoting a new set of special blends on the chalkboard menu outside, and so the two of you had ordered a small-sized version of each one, sharing them amongst yourselves as you judged the options before you. Your favourite had been the roasted hazelnut americano, while his had been the caramel macchiato with marshmallow essence, his sweet tooth shining through.

Following that, he’d taken you to the store, pushing the cart around and bumping you with it when you took too long for his liking to compare certain products, and as punishment, he’d been forced to help you unpack all the purchases, hiding away the treats he’d slipped into the basket in the backs of your cupboards and in the drawers of the coffee table that you never went into. By the time dusk had rolled around, he was pulling his blazer up his arms, a mix between smart and casual that was appropriate for the journey, skinny jeans and a henley not being fitting alone for the place you were travelling to, and he was staring up at the ceiling as he waited for you to be done.

“You ready?”

He chuffed, a snippy comment on the tip of his tongue about how it had been you that had decided you wanted to shower before going out, despite being perfectly clean, but his mouth went a little dry as he sat up, eyes widening. “Where did you get that dress?”

You looked down at yourself then, your hands clasping in front of yourself nervously after smoothing down the skirt. Dark blue, a shade that complimented you beautifully, lace along the arms and up to your neck, in what was a mock turtleneck, flaring out at the waist in a loose skirt, and it was most definitely a cocktail dress, not exactly the kind of thing he’d expect Irene would have bought for you. “My friend gave it to me. We were challenged at therapy to clear out things that reminded us of a bad time, and to give them to someone else, to make something bad into something good again.”

“That’s sweet.” He caught his breath, eyes scanning along you once again, your legs bare, and he smirked a little bit as he watched you match the elegance with a pair of sneakers, making the whole outfit seem much more fitting to you. “What did you take?”

“I didn’t really have anything, but I took one of my paintings - y’know the one with the blue and the green? That one. - and gave it to one of the people I didn’t know, but they wanted to put it up on the wall in their restaurant.”

He just nodded, licking over his lips as you reached for your coat, folding it over your arms, and he shook his head, letting out a sound to dissuade you from that course of action. “No, sweetheart, you can’t put a coat over a dress like that.” You raised your brows, before shrugging it off and following his lead, hanging it back up on the coat hooks, and he searched for your keys, tucking them into his pocket. “Besides, I told you this would be the full experience, and how am I supposed to be a gentleman and give you my jacket when you get cold if you have a coat?”

You simply grinned at him, holding the front door open and switching on the latch as the two of you left, heading towards the elevator and surrounded by soft laughs. “You’re a dork.”

“Big words from the girl who rented ten books for one weeks worth of reading.”

You gasped, turning to shoot him a little glare, but he just beamed, letting you guide him in the direction of your location for the evening. It was only a short walk, just around the corner from your building, but he could hear the music coming out all the way from a street over, lights and noise spilling from the hole-in-the-wall establishment as the two of you approached.

It was even louder inside, the sounds of trumpets and guitars sounding out, and it was mellowed out inside, low lights and leather booths with round tables in solid oak with old and chipping wood, the smell of candles and smoke hanging on the air with liquor, and it was exactly what he expected it to be. The aesthetic matched all the scenes that he had laid out in his head, what he figured a jazz bar would look like, and raucous clapping took up as the live band finished and the current song ended, a man was taking a seat at the sleek black piano in the middle of the room to keep the music going as the acts changed over.

“Drinks first, right?”

“Are you allowed to drink?” Your face screwed up for a second, before you were shaking your head, and he dropped an arm to loop around your waist, guiding you towards the bar and making sure that you kept close to him in the bustling crowds. “Well, when you’re all cleared for it, I’ll take you out for a real drink, okay?”

“Sounds good.”

“I’m still drinking though.” He flagged down the bartender, a whiskey for himself and a soda for you, ice clinking against the glasses as they were served to you. A short and stocky glass was slid over the wooden counter towards you both, followed by a taller one, fizzing and bubbling with pop as ice swirled in the liquids, and you picked it up, bringing the straw to your mouth to take a sip. “Let’s find a booth.”

There was one in the far corner, just evacuated by the previous inhabitants, and you were quick to slide into the seat, Mitch taking the opposite one, and he didn’t miss the dirty looks that were being shot your way from another pair across the room who had clearly also been intending to claim this seat as their own, but he decided that the pair of you deserved it more, so he had no guilt as he ignored them.

A new band was taking up on the stage, setting themselves up and adjusting the microphone, a woman wearing a floor-length ball gown covered in sparkles and sequins, red painted lips and neatly pinned up hair was taking a seat on a wooden stool at the front of the stage, and waiting as her bandmates all got set up.

“She looks great.” You were in awe, he could read it clearly on your face, and he couldn't help the smile he got as he watched you admire her, before your eyes were moving to scan over everybody else in the room, and he took a sip of his drink, heat flaring on his cheeks when he cleared his throat, forcing you to stop watching everyone else.

“You know, you look beautiful, too.”

You scoffed under your breath, but smiled, your head ducking as you reached for your glass to busy your idle fingers instead, and he reached his hand out over the surface, palm up in offering. His breath was held, only released with relief when you slipped your hand into his, holding on gently, and he grinned to himself, hiding it behind the rim of his glass. “I never said beautiful.”

“Maybe not, but I did.” He wasn’t sure where the words were coming from, it was a part of his personality that he was sure he’d lost a long time ago, but the squeeze of your hand in his with silent acknowledgement made his hand tighten around yours, and you fell back into a companionable silence together. “You wouldn’t look like you if you tried to be like them. I like who you are now.”

“I don’t even know who I am, Mitch. Not really, anyway.”

“Maybe not fully, but there’s a lot that makes you special, already.” You looked up at him now, meeting his eye and holding it, before you were standing up, rounding to his side of the booth and taking a seat beside him instead. Lifting his arm, he wrapped it over your shoulders, letting you curl into his side as you faced the stage, but he felt the hand dangling over your shoulder warm, the curling of your fingers around his once again making his nerves tingle as adrenaline rushed through his body, and he pulled you in a little closer. The lights began dimming, a spotlight taking up on the centre stage once again, and he could feel you tense up with excitement for it all. “Show’s starting, sweetheart. Are you excited?”

You only hummed, twisting into him a little bit, before even the messing of your fingers with his own stopped, and you were fixing every bit of your attention onto the stage.

Her voice was beautiful, one deep breath carrying the words as she sang out steadily, the instruments fading into the tune as it progressed. It had been her and her only singing to start, before the piano had come in slowly, picking up speed when a steady drumbeat joined it, and then came the chorus. It was catchy and upbeat, a difference from the beginning of the song, cheerful melodies made by trumpets and saxophones, and then the band came in to perform back up singing.

The bass was vibrating through the wooden floors, the feeling replicating that of nerves and butterflies curling in his stomach but in the best of ways, and Mitch was tapping his foot on the floor as the music played, unable to resist the urge. The crowds were cheering now, the peak of the song approaching, claps sounding out loudly, and he almost missed the soft giggle you let out as you took in the atmosphere, before your hand was leaving his, and you were clapping too.

This went on, for what felt like mere minutes but was hours by the time he noticed your excitement dwindling as you slumped into his body. You were tired now, your head lolling on his shoulder a little, and one peek through the windows showed him that the twilight you’d arrived in had faded out into the night, dark and glittering with stars, and once the current song ended, he nudged you up a little.

You sighed, before shaking your head clear, sitting up yourself from where you’d been lounging with him, and all of those patches felt a little cold as you moved away from him, so used to having you pressed up to him now, and providing him with your warmth.

“Ready to go?”

You only nodded, wiping at your eyes a little bit before getting to your feet, a little shaky in your exhaustion, and he followed after you, several empty glasses sitting on the table as the warm buzz of alcohol coursed through his veins, the two of you navigating through the crowds carefully, his hand sitting on your lower back until you were reaching the doorway, gasps of fresh air as you made it back out onto the streets.

You tugged a little on his sleeve, the two of you falling into step in the direction of your apartment.

“I hope you plan to make good on that promise to give me your jacket.”

He beamed at you, shrugging it down his arms and ignoring the chill he got, before tucking it over your shoulders delicately. Your hand found his, your fingertips tickling so lightly across his palm he had to resist the urge to flinch, but then you were weaving your fingers with his, holding his hand and he wrapped his digits around you just as tightly. “Did you have fun?”

“Yes, but I wouldn’t want to go back.” He turned to look at you, your cheek pressing to his shoulder as you slipped somewhere between conscious and unconscious. “It was fun but it seems like it’d be a little boring after this. You have to do everything once, though, right?”

“I guess so, sweetheart.” You were so positive and optimistic, you had a sunny outlook on everything, a real feat for someone who came from your past, who was still in their first year of recovery from a lifetime of pain and trauma, and he was so proud of you for all the progress that you’d made. You were healing yourself, and he knew you were healing him, too. “Do you want to go and get some food? You must be hungry, you haven’t eaten since breakfast.”

“I can’t,” you whispered the words, letting him wrap his arm around you instead, keeping your hands locked but it made it easier for him to guide you along as your tired feet began to drag along the floor. “I have a session in the morning.”

Mitch frowned, he was certain you’d already had your therapy this week, because you’d been telling him all about it over breakfast, and you hadn't told him about getting any more assigned sessions, but maybe that was why you’d been making such good progress. “I’ll make you coffee in the morning. C’mon, I know a diner with some great food that you’d love.” He grinned, squeezing you tightly and raising his other hand to tickle at your side.

You grinned, huffing out a laugh, before shaking your head at him. “No food! Unit eight will not be at optimal performance efficiency without seven hours of rest per night.”

Just like that, the haze that had been your walk home was washed away, like ice water had been thrown over his head and his stomach clenched up angrily in a way that made him feel sick. You whined as he came to a full stop, his body rigid in his movements, and you raised your head to look at him, the awning of your building hanging overhead as you stood just outside of the doorway, but he couldn't help but stare at you, knowing that horror was flashing over his features.

“What?” You were looking at him now, curious with wide eyes, coming back to your senses as his abrupt halt had forced you to wake up a little more, and you were blinking at him, worry beginning to seep into your features. “Mitch, what’s wrong?”

“You don’t even know what you just said, do you?”

“Uh..” You thought on it, brows furrowing and shrugging your shoulders. “Not really, just something about how I need to get a good night’s sleep, I think.”

He shook his head, pulling you closer into his body as your hands were crushed between your bodies, resting on his chest as he pulled you close, and guided you through the door, a walk that was almost a shuffle as you went along, side by side. “You called yourself.. by your old title.”

It took you a minute to realise what you’d said, before you were paling a little, a look just as distraught as he’d felt flashing over your face. “You know, you’ve been making so much progress forwards, and I’ve seen you tired before, this has never happened. What’s going on?”

You looked up at him and shrugged, moving away to avoid his gaze and open your front door. The second the two of you were inside, you were kicking off your shoes hastily and leaving them in the middle of the floor, making your way to the kitchen to get away from him, and he could hear you filling up the kettle. He put your shoes and his on the shelf they belonged on, finding his blazer slung neatly over the back of the couch, and he came into the kitchen quietly, not wanting to startle you, and took a seat at the kitchen table.

His eyes flickered over the room, watching you move in your own space easily and swiftly, pulling two mugs from the cupboard. You dropped a tea bag into each, a scoop of honey following, and steam was beginning to leave the kettle as the water approached being ready. As the cutlery drawer slid closed, he saw it, he realised what was off. Your schedule was turned around, the blank paper facing upwards from the chart he’d seen you replicate and helped you make, the activities now facing inwards.

He was on his feet before he could stop himself, taking off the magnet that had pinned it up, and twisting the sheet to face himself. The first thing that immediately jumped out was that you’d managed to progress from a daily chart that repeated every day, to a weekly one, the hours down the side being replaced with days of the week.

His eyes immediately picked out the things that were expected, ‘trip to the library’, ‘grocery shopping’ and ‘dinner with Mitch’, smiley faces drawn beside them, and his lips flicked up at the corners. ‘Physical activity’ had been replaced with the word ‘gym’, and his suspicions were confirmed, the word ‘therapy’ being scrawled across the empty spots on a Tuesday, definitely not today. Then, he was studying the other things, grunting as his brows furrowed.

‘Hypno with Irene’.

He looked up, finding you already facing him, leaning against the counter and staring into your drink, a frown on your face. You were clutching the mug with both hands, a sigh leaving you as he inched a little closer. It was on there three times, on Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays, definitely a new addition because the ink colour was different to the rest, and it looked fresher, like it had only been added a month or so ago.

“Does ‘hypno’ mean hypnotherapy?”

“Yes.” Your words were weak, and he let a little growl out, putting the paper back on the fridge and pinning the magnet over it, a little more aggression behind his actions that and you flinch, and he would’ve acknowledged his guilt from the action if it hadn't been for the anger clouding his mind.

He patted his pockets down for his phone, finding it tucked away, and you watched him move, he could feel your stare lingering on him as he walked away towards the door, already pushing his thumb into the contact card on the screen, and he could hear it calling as he lifted it to his ear. The second he had, he was slamming the door shut behind himself, trying to take a deep breath to calm himself down, but the feeling of rage bubbled back up as he heard the line go through.

“Do you not know what time it is, Rapp?”

“You’re taking her to fucking hypnotherapy? You’re digging around in her mind, before she even knows how to control what she gets back?” He was seething, fingers gripping his phone so tightly he worried that it might crack by his ear. “Are you fucking insane?”

“It would do you well to curb your tone, agent. Remember who you work for.”

Her tone had somehow managed to get even colder, and he knew she was right, so he bit down on his lip so aggressively that the taste of copper trickled over his tongue. “She isn’t ready for that yet.”

“That isn’t your call to make.”

“Maybe not, but there’s a pair of eyes in my fucking skull, and I can see that she’s still piecing herself back together.” It was taking everything he had to hold his tone steady and stop from shouting again, and he stopped his pacing, leaning back against the wall and working through his body methodically to try and ease his own tension.

“She is the only lead we have on taking down an organization that has been doing this for decades. She is the key, and she’s been giving us more information in the last month than we have gained in at least thirty years.”

“You’re going to break her.” His voice cracked then, and just like that, there wasn’t any more clenched muscles or balled up fists anymore, there was just the exhaustion and ache in his body, and he felt like he might collapse to the floor if it wasn’t for the wall holding him up. “You’re going to ruin her.”

“I’m taking all the necessary precautions, Mitch.”

Even Irene had eased up, and while he wouldn’t exactly call her tone soft, he certainly knew there was less venom and aggression behind it now.

“She is making excellent progress, and we didn’t dive right in at the deep end. We worked it up, but there’s a point she can’t get past. She locks up, we just need her to break through it and we will have everything we need.”

“What point?” Mitch wasn’t sure he actually wanted the answer to this, but he needed to know, to be able to help you or stop it, he just needed to be aware of what you were facing so that you didn’t have to handle it alone.

“She tried to run when she was younger, and she made it out. If she can tell us what she saw, we can track it down. But, she stops as she approaches the door, her mind won’t let her get any further than that.”

“I want to come along. Tomorrow. I’m going to be there.” The hesitation from his boss was evident, a deep sigh, and the shuffling of some papers, and he knew that no matter how late the hour was, Irene was at home doing work anyway.

“Fine. Eight sharp, at her apartment. If you’re late, we’re leaving without you.”

He smirked, glancing up at your door, but not letting on that he was already here with you, the line clicking off before he even had a chance to thank her, and his eyes rolled involuntarily at her actions, but he wasn’t at all surprised. The screen went black when he pulled it from his ear, and Mitch dragged a hand over his face, tucking the device into his pocket and opening the door up again, shutting it softly behind himself now instead of slamming it like he had done before.

Your head snapped up to him, eyes wide as you saw him come back in, and you were on your feet to meet him from the second he’d entered the room. “You came back.”

“Where did you think I was going?” His brows furrowed, your arms wrapping around yourself as he watched you, your mug almost empty, but he noticed his was now sitting face down in the sink, tipped away as you presumed him to have left.

“I thought you were angry with me, and that you went home.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” He was padding across the room and cupping your face in two large hands before he’d even had to think about it, thumbs running over your cheekbones and you stared up at him through wide and glossy eyes. “I’m not mad at you, I promise. I’m mad at Irene, and the world, but I’m not mad at you.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.” He leaned in, pressing a long and slow kiss to your forehead, feeling you press back into the touch, and he grinned at the little noise you let out, sagging into his body as your arms circled his waist. He had enough space to pull away, peppering your cheeks and temples with little kisses too, until you were giggling under his hold, face screwing up, and he let you go, your face wiping against your shoulder as he watched you through his own entertainment. “Why didn’t you tell me, though?”

“Irene said it would make you upset, and I don’t want you to be upset with me.”

“I’m not upset with you, I’m just upset for you. I don’t want you to have to suffer anymore.” He sighed, trying to catch your gaze, and using two fingers to tip your chin up to find his sights. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. It isn’t fun, but Irene says it’s helping people. People like me, and I can save them. I have to save them, Mitch, like you saved me.” He smiled then, watching as you lit up enthusiastically, and while it was taking a toll on you, he could sense how much you cared, and he couldn't take that away from you.

“I’m going to come with you, tomorrow.”

You grinned, leaning in enough to bump your forehead to his cheek, and you nodded against him, squeezing him tightly within your arms. When you backed away, there was a glint in your eyes, and you backed off enough to shuffle through your cupboards, pulling out a bag of dried pastas, and presenting the half-empty bag to him. “I learned how to make mac and cheese the other week, it makes me feel better after therapy, and you look like you could use a cheer up. You want some?”

“I thought you wanted to go to sleep?” He pressed, and you raised a single shoulder, dropping it back down, before turning to find a pan.

“You’re worth staying up for.”

Then, yes, I’d love some.” He was taking a seat at the table once again, and you hummed, beginning to serve up a portion for you both, fishing around in the fridge to gather all of the ingredients.

He couldn't pretend that he wasn’t nervous, or that the idea of seeing you in that state didn’t frighten him, but he knew that he had to be there for you, to help you and protect you when you were vulnerable, and so everything else slipped away.

#mitchtober #mitch-tober #mitch month #PHTA #put her together again #Mitch Rapp #mitch rapp x reader #mitch rapp/reader #mitch rapp american assassin #dylan obrien american assassin #dylan obrien mitch rapp #dylan o'brien #dylan obrien #dylan obrien x reader #dylan obrien/reader

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studiylog · 5 years ago

Photo

my younger sister is a soon-to-be freshman and as a 2020 high school graduate I though it would be very big sister of me if I were to hand off some advice to the younger children such as herself.

Why do I need a planner?

life if going to start being VERY VERY hectic, especially if you do other activities besides school work. Even though we are currently in quarantine it is good to have some sort of organization of your life or else things will get mushy and time will pass by quickly. Just have one usable planner to get your academic year started. Write down assignments and other chores such as watering the plants even. It is better to practice getting organized the sooner the better. There are many different options for planners! here are some of the ways I have used before:

Bullet journaling:

I used to bullet journal during the school year back when we were all still in class. It was super helpful and helped me keep my mind on track. Bujo was my favorite to use during the school year because I would work on spreads during downtime. Here are some pictures of my spreads (they were never pretty hahah!) :

Pros:

customizable!! Make whatever spread you want!! Flowers and stickers or even just a good ole' to do list will work too! I used to have whole blank pages just for planning club events and choreography. I used to have a mood tracker too!

relatively cheap Any good notebook/journal will work! For my senior year I used my 1/4 full sketchbook for junior year as my bujo and it worked pretty well!

easy to navigate! Since you are the one who is creating the spreads, you are the one in charge. You like lots of trackers and drawings? Put it in! You only like monthly spreads? GO AHEAD!!

Cons:

Easy to get caught up with the "aesthetic" and not think your bujo is pretty enough...BUT WHO CARES!!! Its your planner!! It should be fluid and comfortable to use daily. You can have pretty spreads one week and then black bullets points of the next! As long as it is helping you get your shit done its good! I am an advocate for those super pretty bujos with calligraphy and kpop boys, but I know that I myself cannot get too complicated with bujos or else I get super caught up with making my spreads super pretty and I'll get too anxious to use it and then forget about it.

You actually have to do it yourself Its a blank journal, which means you have to draw out all the spreads yourself. oop.

Planners (the ones you buy!)

I've only truly used two store-bought planners in life. Moleskin and Passion planner!:

Moleskin

I used a moleskin for my sophomore year of high school because the super expensive moleskins finally went on sale so I copped one. It did its job, but there wasn't anything really special to it that blew me away. It was very dependable, like an earthbender.

Passion planner (passion planner spread)

This is another planner I bought on sale! I loved this one, it helped me organize my SUPER hectic junior year. I took on a load of 4 AP's, a sport, and two clubs to run! There were many options for organization and I really liked the different time slots. I would buy this again but I really like my current planning tools at the moment.

Pros:

Pre-made spreads Its much easier to concentrate and do work with a store bought planner because you wont have to take the extra time to draw out spreads and trackers! These were great during my hectic years where I didn't really want to use up 30 minutes to make an organized spread. Especially the Passion planner because it was organized as a timetable! I wrote the exact hours I would be available to do things, and scheduling was much easier. (Also the dates are already written down...saves lots of headache)

Cons:

$$$ A really nice planner with a bunch of different spreads can be quite pricey depending on where you are looking. You don't exactly need a fancy-shmancy planner, but most of the ones i've actually used on the daily ended up being more expensive ones :/ If you look out for sales though you might find a good deal! Knowing my cheap-ass I got both my Passion planner and Moleskin on sale :)

Online Planning

This is what I have been currently using under quarantine! I currently use the app notion for LITERALLY EVERYTHING. This thing literally sorts my life out. I started using notion due to Rowena Tsai's video and @noodledesks master post! This was a life saver now that everything is online. I can put teacher website links and online course schedules on both my computer and my phone! The only problem is that it is a somewhat complicated interface due to its customizability. Nonetheless, I think it a wonderful plat form.

Rowena Tsai’s video

@noodledesk ��s Post

Pros:

Online platform If you are currently a student, most of you work will be online I assume, which means links, videos, PDF's, and other documents will be your coursework! Well where will you organize all those things? ONLINE duhhhh...

Customizable If you like how customizable a bujo is? You can do the same with Notion! I have tons of pages, databases, and task lists which organize my life. If you look into it more you will see that the app supports tons of different templates and have some pre-made ones too. I usually just take a premade template and customize it to fit my needs.

Can connect to other devices Notion also has an app! It can be found on both the apple store and google play store. This means even on the go you can make changes to your planner.

Cons:

Can be hard to navigate If you aren't very tech-friendly this might not be the one for you. When I first started using notion I just used the templates on their own, and I still was confused for how to use them because I am not very tech-friendly for my age (which is quite bad). But after a couple hours of re-organizing and watching youtube videos I got the hang of it. Now its super easy.

I’ll upload images of my planners in another post attached to this one because I don’t know how to format them nicely on this post lol!)

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bvannn · 11 months ago

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Weekly Update May 31, 2024

This week was fine in terms of productivity. Didn’t get as much comic work done as I would have liked, but made progress on other stuff, and returned to work and plasma donation, so I should have a bit more money.

Big thing I did this week was OEB work, kinda. Didn’t get any storyboards done but I got a good chunk of the clip studio assets I need to build the lead’s rig done. I’d guess the rig as 30% done. Plus, also got some sketchy line assets ready to test my new strategy for those. I probably won’t make test animations with the rig, although fwiw I’m considering trying out some smaller ‘half-rig’ animations, to see how long they take. That’s a lower priority, though.

This week I also listened to those songs I’ve been sitting on in the car, realized they were super quiet compared to other songs in my playlist, googled why, and found a solution. I’m now going through the old tracks and re-mastering them all. I may also go redo some of the vocal tuning, but I’ll probably do that in a batch with the new vocal files, so everything can get sent and exported at the same time. Right now, WOTW has been partially re-mastered, this weekend I’ll probably finish it up and hit the others too.

Additionally, I did a ton of lyric writing yesterday, and plan to continue tonight. BATB is still around 1/3 done with lyrics, and the new one, RR, I’d say somewhere between 25 and 33%. I’m planning to continue it tonight, I’ve been in a writing sorta mood. BATB specifically I redid two entire chunks, because they weren’t descriptive enough. I’ll try to get at least the second verse done tonight.

I’m also trying a new strategy for organizing my VSTs, so hopefully I can get some quickies done soon. I’ll try to get that ambient one done Sunday at the latest. I’ll see what I can do on another one soon.

Comic: 21.5% done. Today I got some good ideas for future issues, and some inspiration for some more drawings. At work last summer I did a ton of general story writing, and I’m hoping this summer will be the same. If I’m feeling energized tonight I’ll try to finish up page 7 and get a general drawing done.

This weekend I’ll also try to sketch out some Artfight refs. Romeo needs a new one, I’d like to add Josh as an option, and depending on time or energy I might tweak or redo the others. I’ll probably redo Emrys’ thumbnail because there’s a small error, and I’ll fix his refsheet too if it’s there too.

Next week I expect to be slow because the personal problem I anticipated was delayed until this Sunday, and the fallout will probably follow. I’ll try to place a bigger focus on comic, but music is so fun to work on. Again sorry I’ve been so slow on posting, but I’m working on big projects, I hope they’ll be worth it!

#weekly update

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xiao8-bb · 5 years ago

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Man, I Feel Like A

A Linked Universe fic

[chapter 1]

Chapter 2: A Sticky Situation [posted on ao3 here]

At what point is it considered appropriate to tell your travelling companions you’re actually a man, and at what point are you supposed to take the secret to your grave? Wild has no idea and it’s driving him mad with anxiety. He’s kinda waffling towards keeping it a secret forever at this point.

It’s not like he’s a man all the time. He was genuinely just having a lot of girl days at first and so forgot about the problem, and he didn’t bother to correct anyone on a boy day when they happened. But now it’s been a few months, he’s been a boy consistently for at least a week now, and if anyone calls him “she” one more time he thinks he might solve his problem purely through violence and yelling.

This is such a weird problem. He’s used to the opposite in his Hyrule, where he’d be having girl days and be constantly called “young man” or whatever.

The funniest part? He wasn’t even a girl when he first met them. He came straight out of Gerudo Town after talking with Riju on a boy day and didn’t think to correct them, and now look. It’s been months.

Gender is an awful curse sent down by Hylia Herself for using Her name in vain too often, and now Wild has to reap the consequences. What a vindictive goddess. He endeavors to use it all the more wastefully whenever he has this thought.

Usually it’s not much of an issue. He calls his ever shifting moods “girl days,” “boy days,” “goron days” for the times he feels more neither than anything. Almost always, he feels like… half a gender at most. Like he took a bite out of an apple and found that enough.

On girl days she fixes in an earring Issha recommended and calls it a day. She hardly ever bothers correcting people, like how the Gorons won’t mind if you call one sister instead of brother. On boy days, he puts in a different kind and knows it’s enough. Even if the Gerudo call him Little Hylian Vai (as they’ve taken to nicknaming him), he feels about the same as he always does. Goron days are the easiest, where they forgo the earrings entirely. There’s the little thrill when someone gets it right, but it’s not a big deal. Link is Link, after all. At his core, no matter if he’s called Wild or Link or Champion, no matter if he’s called a boy or a girl or, once, a hellion menace to society, he’s always solely himself. Gender feels more like an accessory than it does part of his identity.

Except it’s been months, and Wild is going insane. He didn’t realize how much he depended on the occasional slivers of—validation? insightfulness? understanding?—having someone call him correctly. His friends back home knew, at least in few in almost every major settlement, and they always referred to him correctly after checking his ears.

At the risk of being redundant: Wild has gone months without that. In one go, he solved the problem of being referred to almost solely as a man and ended up with the problem of being referred to solely as a woman.

And now the second problem: how in the name of Hylia (blessed goddess who is the source of all his troubles) is he supposed to tell the others?

Hey, I know you’ve been under the impression I’m a woman this whole time, but surprise, I’m actually a man! Except it’s not all the time, but today I am and have been for the past week.

Could you do me a favor and call me he until I tell you to stop, and to keep doing that if I ever ask again?

You know when that man in the town two portals back said to grow some balls and take up his gambling challenge? Might’ve found a solution to that.

“What’re you muttering to yourself?” Twilight asks, and Wild nearly drops his armful of mushrooms back to the ground with a squeak. He turns with wide eyes to see the rancher raise an eyebrow at him.

“Nothing!”

He gets a disbelieving sigh at that, but he’ll take it. Better Twilight believe he’s planning to dump Goron spice into someone’s bowl than hear what he’s saying before he’s found the words.

Wild stands up from his crouch, disappearing his haul into the slate. “Did you get the herbs I asked for?” At Twilight’s affirmative, they start heading back to the camp in companionable quiet. They hadn’t wandered too far off, but it’s still a walk back.

It’s Twilight who breaks the silence first. “Say, Wild…” He stops, both verbally and motion-wise, forcing Wild to stop as well. Wild looks up at the man’s face. There’s hesitance writ in the uptick of his mouth, and his gaze is unreadable. “You’re a good kid, you know that?”

“Huh? What brought this on?”

“Ah, it’s been a few months since you’ve joined our group, hasn’t it? Got thinking, ‘s all. You’ve got a good heart, so don’t hesitate to let us know if anything’s bothering you.” He reaches out and ruffles Wild’s hair, smile widening into something genuine when Wild protests and pulls back. “You’ve been looking a bit down.”

He… hadn’t realized his mood has been that obvious. Wild looks down and kicks the dirt under his feet, hoping his ears aren’t as red as they feel. A sincere, well-intentioned talk about his feelings? Horrible. Worst experience of his life. “I’ll—” His voice catches. “I’ll be fine, Twi.”

He doesn’t need to look up to know Twilight is giving him that look, the one Wind calls the Big Brother Face. “If you say so. Just know we’ll be willing to listen and support you,” he says, gentle as if Wild is one of his goats.

Wild runs his tongue over his teeth, feeling warmth and dread in equal amounts prick at him. “Of course.”

And he’s not lying. They’re all kind people at heart. No one will care. You don’t know that for sure, a little nagging voice says. You lied to them for months, another hisses. Should’ve spoken up earlier. He can imagine the twinge of hurt in Hyrule’s face, the particular furrow in Legend’s forehead, the way Wind’s smile will drop a little if he tells them he’s been lying for so long and, worse, that they might’ve been hurting him, unintentional though it may be. They’re too kind, is the problem.

It would’ve been one thing if he’d told them earlier. Easier to laugh off, to brush aside as something that hadn’t crossed his mind until just then. Like it wasn’t an intentional farce—it wasn’t! Wild isn’t different at all, not where it matters. Clothing doesn’t factor into it, because he’d wear whatever regardless of gender. Neither does the way he acts, because a sashay is fun to pull off at any time, and as a girl Link has no problem swimming shirtless. He’s just been going with the flow.

It feels like a farce though. He never lied, not really, but he didn’t fix any of their assumptions, didn’t say anything, for months. It’s a lie of omission that sits sour on the back of his tongue.

Twilight clicks his tongue, waiting until Wild looks back up at him to speak. “Is it dangerous? Whatever’s bothering you.” He doesn’t seem stern or any more solemn than earlier, just an open, neutral expression on his face.

Uncomfortable, yes. Dangerous? No, not unless they run into a monster that feeds off conflicted guilt and pent up frustration. Wild shakes his head.

“Then I’m not gonna pry. I’ll keep Time from trying to dad you too, if you want.”

Unbidden, a giggle slips out of Wild. “‘Dad’ me?”

“You didn’t think I’m the only one who’s noticed you’ve been down, did you? I just got first dibs.”

Wild lets himself laugh fully at that, ignoring the stone in his stomach.

Warriors flicks his gaze to the campfire, where a still-smiling Wild sits in front of a cooking pot. She and Twilight had returned a while ago, snickering like mischievous children while sneaking looks to Time. Old Man’s probably going to get some nasty purple chu jelly in his dinner tonight, he’s assuming. A bit of a surprise she’s got Twilight in on it, though.

It’s good to see that Wild’s in a better mood than before. She’s been… not sullen, but a tension none of them can ease has been sitting on her shoulders for a few weeks now. There’s nothing obvious that brought it on, but it’s heavy enough that even Legend will have worry flashing across his face whenever Wild pulls away from their group with no indication as to why.

“She’ll say something when she’s ready to,” he hears Twilight murmur to Time. They’ve got some mentor/mentee plan going on to get Wild out of her mood. Successful, he supposes; she’s been dropping off into frowns whenever left alone in her thoughts for too long, but right now she’s almost definitely brightened up enough to pull a prank.

Still, he can’t help but scoot over to insert himself into the conversation. “It’s not anything dangerous, right?” He trusts that she would tell them if it were; Wild is the least team friendly player in their group, but she’s got enough sense in her to know what’s necessary.

Twilight shakes his head. “Confirmed it wasn’t.” Here he hesitates, and his words come out slow, deliberate. “I’m not sure if it’s… one of her memories? I don’t remember there being one before she started acting weird, but it might’ve come as a dream.”

Warriors purses his lips, thinking. It could be. He’s certainly entertained the thought before. Wild doesn’t fall into a memory too often, but they’re hard to hide, so everyone became aware of her amnesia and subsequent flashbacks sooner than later. Almost always she’ll draw into herself a bit, hidden away in a large cloak until the world stopped being too loud and bright for her, and even then Wild would still be withdrawn until something coaxed her out of her shell.

It doesn’t feel like it, though.

He takes another look at Twilight’s face. It says it all. “You don’t think that’s it.”

The rancher really is a farm boy through and through, honest as the day is long. “I overheard her talking to herself earlier, but I’m not sure what I heard and it’s not my place to say anyway.”

A sigh, and Time hauls himself up to his feet. “Then we wait,” he says decisively. They watch him amble over and strike a conversation with Four about the forest they’ve landed in. Twilight goes back to sharpening his sword.

Warriors’s mind is still stuck on Wild, though, and he’d bet a bag of rupees so is Twilight’s.

He prides himself on being a good commander. Quick to judge a situation and quick to notice if anything is wrong, able to lead squadrons of forces with only minutes to prepare. Often, his command was too numerous for him to know everyone, but he did his best to be there for anyone who needed it. Perhaps it’s foolish of him—too many faces, half-familiar from life, unmistakable in death haunt him to this day—but he refuses to give up caring. It hurts, but to hurt is to be alive, and he carries his ghosts with him even as he locks eyes with a new trainee.

Here, their motley group is a lot smaller than the armies he used to command. He’s never been an older brother before, but he finds himself falling into it naturally. It’s easy to tug on the back of Hyrule’s tunic to keep him from wandering off, normal to nudge Four and encourage him to keep talking about smithing, effortless to pull Wind into a friendly scuffle. With Wild, he finds himself looking after her like it’s instinct.

Maybe it’s because she’s still young at heart. The scars riddling her face and body age her up years, but there’s something heartwrenchingly childlike about the way she’ll wander off from the group to catch a bug or pick a plant, not understanding why they’ll scold her to stick with them. She’ll often show her finds off, grinning like there aren’t a million twigs in her hair and mud on her face.

It’s painful to see someone like that pull away without any indication as to why.

He sighs, leaning back on his palms to look at the evening sky. The brightest stars are beginning to shine, flickering around the rising moon. The smell of sweetly roasted vegetables wash over him. Quick headcount: Sky and Wind sparring; Twilight sitting nearby; Legend checking their perimeter, Hyrule with him; Four and Time talking about where to go; Wild at the campfire, standing up and stretching.

“Dinner’s ready!” she announces, loud enough that Legend and Hyrule should hear. Without waiting, she begins pulling out plates from her slate and spooning out portions. Warriors watches her closely enough that he sees the glob of something purple being hidden under some greens.

Definitely purple chu jelly from Twilight.

It travels down the line, Warriors hesitating before handing it off to Time, who’s last. It’s all in good fun though, and Wild’s figured out (after much trial-and-error) how to make sure the jelly doesn’t kill anyone, so he keeps quiet, only checking his own plate to make sure he’s not going to be a victim as well. Wild catches his eye and winks. Twilight, across the campfire, has a little feral edge to his grin.

Warriors watches with bated breath as Time takes a scoop of his food. It’s riveting, seeing his expression go from pleased and content to I-will-kill-whoever-did-this. Reminds him of the little pissed off kid he knew before meeting him again as an adult.

Time raises his head to glare balefully at Wild. “Why did you do this.” It falls flat of being a question.

“Do what?” Wild asks back, eyes wide and confused. “I thought you liked carrots?”

Wind giggles into his own meal, shoveling another bite into his mouth when that earns him an unamused look. “I didn’ do nothin’!” he protests before Time even starts saying the accusation. “Yer face wa’ funny.”

“Don’t talk while chewing,” Sky reminds him. “Time, what’s wrong with it? Mine tastes fine?”

Without speaking, Time takes another scoop and presents the purple chuchu glob. The camp falls into hysterics, speaking all at once.

“Some weird seasoning you’ve got there, Old Man.”

“Are you going to need a potion?”

“Where did someone even get their hands on that?”

Warriors sits back, letting the rambunctious laughter and chatter surround him. Wind denies it some more, pointing to Hyrule, who was apparently looking at Time’s dinner too intently. Hyrule denies it right back, pushing the blame to someone else too. There’s shouts of protest as accusations go flying. He tunes it out, just smiling to himself. A small prank, but a big reception. It’s nice to see spirits so high, especially Wild’s.

He’s too busy feeling reassured at Wild’s bright, impish grin that he nearly misses the accusation thrown at him.

“—paused before giving it to Time, too.” Legend says this nonchalantly, but one’d have to be blind to miss the smirk he shoots Warriors as he says it. “Seems suspicious to me.”

Twilight makes a faux thoughtful noise, failing to hide his laughter as Warriors whips his head around to stare in betrayal. “He was rummaging through our bags earlier, could’ve taken it from mine or Wild’s packs then.”

Warriors splutters, “I was taking inventory! You know, the thing I do every other night?”

There’s a little gasp from Four, too theatrical to be natural. “He was staring at Time when we started eating too…”

Betrayal! Ganged up on by the miserable lot he dared call his brothers!

Clearly they’ve figured out it wasn’t him. Wild’s just about collapsed with laughter at the sight of his panicked face, but it’s obvious no one wants to spoil her fun. Time gives him the sternest, most I-am-your-father-listen-to-me face he can muster and says, “What do you have to say for yourself, Warriors? Why would you put purple chu jelly in this delightful meal Wild worked hard on?”

Warriors is speechless. Wild titters, looks up to see Time raising an eyebrow at Warriors, and breaks back out into gleeful wheezing. Wind and Legend don’t seem to be far off, delighted at his misfortune.

Golden goddesses, the things he does for family. “You’ve done it,” he says, strangled, “you’ve caught me in my dastardly tricks. Oh woe is me, what punishment will I be given?” Sky is the next to break, hiding his laughter behind a hand.

Time, the little snot, looks at him with thin, disappointed lips and mirth dancing in his eyes. “This,” he intones gravely. The purple chu jelly jumps from his spoon and smacks into Warriors’s face.

Even Twilight is losing it now.

“ARGH!” he squawks, not expecting Time to actually go through with it. It’s to the others’ cackling that he slumps to the ground, groaning at the sticky feeling on his cheek. He can deal with a little grossness (no matter what Legend says), but it’s not a nice feeling when he could be clean and not sticky.

Someone hands him a clean cloth. Hyrule, bless his heart. It’s one of Twilight’s cloths, so he feels no guilt in scrubbing off the jelly and throwing it at the traitor himself. Twilight takes the assault with a grin, the infectious mood lingering even as the laughter calms down.

“Here.” A scarred hand dips into view, and Wild refills Warriors’s bowl with some fried greens fresh from the pot. Steam rises up lazily. She smiles at him through it, cheerful and alive like she hasn’t been for the past week, and he instantly forgives her for pulling him into her prank.

He takes a bite and sighs. Fresh, still sweet yet crispy from quickly frying it. “Delicious as ever,” he compliments, trying to force some grudge into his tone. Wild sees right through him and beams wider. “Oh, shove off.” He wipes a hand, still a little sticky with goo, across her nose, grinning himself when she shrieks a little in delight.

“Be careful, mister, or else the goo’s going in your meal next!” she teases before scampering off to her own meal.

It’s sometime after dinner that Time approaches him. “Thank you for playing along.”

Across the clearing, Wild’s wide grin has dropped to a faint upturn of her lips. She’s scuffling with Wind and the large wolf that follows their group every now and then, trying to claim a sleeping spot. She’s happy, and after the past week of halfhearted interaction, it feels like everything.

“Ah, it’s nothing.”

The sun’s rays are beginning to skim past the treetops when Wild wakes up. Legend notices immediately; there isn’t anything hostile in the area, so he’s been sitting closer to camp for the past hour now. He doesn’t say anything when she sneaks out—at least, not at first. When she doesn’t return after 10 minutes, 20, he shakes Twilight awake to keep watch before following.

She hasn’t gone far, just within hearing range if someone shouts. Legend stands at the treeline, watching her pull and put back different earrings from that slate of hers. Studs, hoops, drops, different fashions he can’t name, all reflective of masterful craftsmanship. They gleam in the early morning light as she holds each pair up for examination.

“You can choose today’s accessories from the camp, you know,” he calls out. Wild, to her credit, doesn’t react other than her shoulders raising a few centimeters. “Pretty sure Wind won’t try stealing them.”

That earns a short laugh. “He wouldn’t dare unless he wants his breakfast burned. Besides, I’m just… trying to decide how I feel today. Hard to do that around that noisy lot.”

Legend stops in his tracks. Normally he’d like to tease, but there’s something brittle about her voice. “Want me to leave then?” he offers. He may be a prick, but he’s not about to inflict his presence on someone who needs some time alone.

Finally, Wild turns to look at him. “No, stay,” she says, and even she looks surprised at how firmly she says it. She pats the stone next to her. “C’mon, sit with me for a while.”

It’s nice and quiet in the spot Wild’s chosen. He sits with his back to her, not wanting to crowd. Faintly, the tittering of birds sweeten the air, and if he closes his eyes and focuses he can smell the rich petrichor lingering from yesterday’s early evening rain. Wild goes back to picking out earrings, the faint chime of her slate’s magic rhythmic in its repetition.

It’s like this often, Legend finds. They’re both pretty silent people on their own, and perhaps not as close as they are with some of the others. Sure, they jibe and bicker, but to avoid too much tension they end up not seeking each other out. Legend isn’t even sure if he wants to be close to Wild anyway; she’s almost guaranteed to die violently young and violently so, given her track record of scars and reckless combat techniques.

Still, his treacherous heart cares, and he heaves a sigh as he thinks of her recent melancholy. A conversation wouldn’t hurt, right?

“You’ve been wearing a lot of stud earrings lately,” he says. He doesn’t turn to look, but the chiming stops. “Maybe one of those dangling ones? The amber gems give a nice glow to you.”

Quietly, so faint he almost misses it, Wild replies back, “...Maybe.” He risks a glance to guess her expression; she’s staring distantly at her hands, eyes locked on a struggle Legend can’t see. “Change things up a little, right?”

He raises an eyebrow, though she doesn’t see it. “You don’t have to go with my suggestion,” he points out. “If you want to wear studs, wear studs. They get tangled up less in the twigs and branches you insist on jumping headfirst into, at any rate.”

“And if I don’t want to wear any at all?”

What an odd question. Legend fully turns around to squint at her. “Then don’t? What, am I missing some watchmen that will arrest you if you don’t put some metal in your ears?”

Wild huffs a laugh at that, but it’s half hearted. “No, I don’t think so. Don’t mind me, I’m just overthinking things.”

“Overthinking… types of earrings?” He doesn’t mean to sound so doubtful, but Wild is both a ridiculous fashionista and someone who could not care less for her appearance. She’s got a multitude of outfits, sure, but she’s never exactly cared if they matched or how she looked as a result (leading to a very distressing time where she sprinted through Twilight’s Castletown wearing her Barbarian shorts, clunky torso armor that glowed, and an odd mask that looked like a fish was eating her head. He’s pretty sure they’re banned from the inn for life).

She shakes her head. “No, forget it, it’s… related, but it’s not—” This time, her head shake is harsher, more aggressive. “It’s got some meaning for me,” she reveals reluctantly under Legend’s interrogating stare. “What type of earrings I wear, I mean.”

He considers this, lining it up with the past week. He almost wants to ask “why would you ever wear earrings that make you feel horrible?”, but obviously that isn’t an option. Choosing wearing a specific type probably isn’t an option she has, either. Something dictates the type she wears regardless of how she feels, but how could a type of earrings make one feel bad…?

Hylia, this is giving Legend a headache.

“Are the earrings hurting you?” he settles on asking. There’s no way he’s getting the full story out of her anytime soon, but the important answers need to be established first.

“Wh—? No, they’re fine.”

“Do they upset you? Is that why you’ve been weird this past week?”

“... it’s not the earrings, not really. Kind of? It’s complicated.”

“Uncomplicate it, then.”

He gets a jab to the side for that. “I don’t know how to,” she admits, bitterness sharpening her tongue. “I’m working on it, okay? I’m… I’ll be fine, just give me some time to figure it out.”

Legend jabs her right back, tickling her sides for good measure and ignoring her squeak. “Well, figure it out faster,” he says drolly. “Whatever it is you’ve got going in your head can’t be that bad, considering it’s mostly empty in the first place.”

Now that earns him a tackle right off the rock, and they tussle around like children for a few minutes before wordlessly agreeing to stop, flopping onto the grass to stare at the brightening sky. Neither of them are breathing very hard, but Legend thinks he can hear Wild’s become lighter, less burdened. He bites his tongue to focus his thoughts.

“Just wear whatever you feel like wearing, you menace. If it’s not the earrings making you feel bad, then deal with whatever is making you act like a kicked puppy.” He kicks out blindly and catches her ankle. “If it’s one of us, or something we’re doing, or, I don’t know, maybe you’re just allergic to the grass here, tell us. If it’s something from your past, then however you deal with it is up to you, but between the nine of us we’ve got all sorts of trauma covered, it’ll be easy to commiserate with someone.”

He rolls over to speak and finds her already looking at him. “Uncomplicate it. Whatever it is, either you’ll get past this or you won’t, but things will only get worse if you let it stagnate.”

Wild breaks eye contact first, sitting up but gaze fixed low. At this angle, he can’t see her face. “Get it over with, basically. I guess that’s good advice.”

The sky looks bright enough that the others are probably awake by now. “Of course it is,” he says. She’s not going to take it, at least not right now, he can tell. “Decide on the earrings yet?”

Clacks of fingernail against glass. The now-familiar chime of the Sheikah slate. “Studs again today.”

“Amber?”

“Amber, yeah. You made a good point.”

“I always make good points.”

A snort, and they fall back into silence. It feels like a moment in eternity before Wild speaks up again. “We should make it back to camp.” She sounds almost regretful, and Legend feels it too. The area is warm and peaceful, and it feels like a crime to have to spend the entire day trekking their way through an adventure no one signed up for.

Neither of them move. He closes his eyes, feeling the morning sun warm his skin.

“Legend?”

It takes a moment to respond, the siren call of sleep beginning to pull at his senses. “Hm?”

“Thank you.”

He hums, not resisting the lull of the little bubble they’re in. “No problem.”

#linkeduniverse #botw #fic #lu wild #lu warriors #lu legend #lu twilight #theyre all there but im pretty sure those're the big ones #man i feel like a (fic)#did i forget to post this on tumblr! maybe. who knows. haha...ha........#yeah i forgot #cw misgendering #i dont think i should uhhh @ the prompt tumblr so i guess. uh. hope theyll just find this on their own #i Will edit ch1 to include the link to this tho #<:3c enjoy!!!! hopefully

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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1137

created by: allwrongx - Bzoink

Do you have a bookshelf? If so, just one or how many? I don’t, actually. I have the most books out of everyone in the family, but they’re all either lined up or stacked in random points in my room because of said lack of shelves. Currently, I have three groups of books strategically placed around my room.

If you answered yes to the above, are your books ordered in a special way? Just by height since I have a lot of tall books like encyclopedias as well as smaller-sized novels and pocketbooks.

Have you ever owned action figures? I have a couple of wrestling action figures and I want to keep collecting more if my financial situation ever permits it in the future.

Why did you last smile? Andrew Ilnyckyj finally has a new cooking videoooooooo, which is the main BuzzFeed content I watch these days. I think his last one had been posted in January, so I’ve been feeling pretty starved for some new Andrew content.

Do you have a close relationship with your immediate family? I’m not close with them in that I don’t feel shy about kissing/hugging them or confiding in them; my family are not those people for me. But like we don’t fight (anymore) and we’re able to have pleasant talks over dinner, which is as close as I’d possibly ever get with them.

Idk, we were ultimately never able to cultivate an emotionally strong relationship with one another, which I’ll always feel bittersweet about; but at least I now have a blueprint of how I’d want to build my relationships within my family, should I ever have one of my own.

If I gave you twenty bucks what would you do with it? Use it to pay my sister for the drawing commission I asked her to make. My total bill comes up to around that amount, anyway.

If dinosaurs could be tamed, would you want one as a pet? Nope, they can stay in the wild.

Do you crack your knuckles, neck or toes constantly? I crack my knuckles the most and my ankles as well. Never my neck and toes.

Are you constantly catching colds or other sicknesses? No, I rarely get sick.

Is there a movie from your childhood that you still watch today? I do an annual Toy Story rewatch because it’s my absoluete favorite kid’s movie. I will also always be in the mood to watch The Game Plan, which I watched every single weekday after coming home from school in like the 3rd grade.

Have you ever seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show? Nope but this has been on my list for years. Just never gotten around to downloading it and finally seeing it for myself.

Where do you do most of your shopping? I usually go to small, independent businesses that sell trendy pieces for a lot less, but I also drop by H&M from time to time. Once I feel secure enough with my savings I also wanna be able to start shopping from Zalora because they have really nice brands over there as well, haha.

Are you afraid of mice? I don’t imagine I would be since they’re tiny and cute. I’m afraid of house rats, though, especially considering how big they can get D:

What type of souvenir do you usually purchase when on vacation? I typically don’t get souvenirs for myself, but this is also because I’ve never traveled solo. My family collects magnets from all the different places we’ve been to though (and also from my dad’s work travels), so our fridge doors are filled with them.

Do you vacation often? Yeah, my family would usually take 3-5 trips a year, usually around the country and sometimes out of; but of course we’ve had to put a stop to it since the pandemic blew up.

Are you comfortable wearing your pajamas in public places? The only place I’d be comfortable doing so is at the nearby McDonald’s, since I’ve seen residents from my village come in there wearing their PJs or housewear. Otherwise no, I’d rather dress up.

What's your favorite candy bar? Twix!!!!!!!! And while they’re not technically bar-shaped, I love Reese’s Cups too.

Do you own more than one copy or edition of a book? Hahaha yeah. I have two copies of Twilight (one is from my boxed set, another was given to me by a childhood friend, Maryrose) and Breaking Dawn (one is also from my boxed set, while the other one is the special white cover edition given to me by Angela).

If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? Miss Saigon. That’s the only musical I’m into.

If you could put any person or characters face on money, whose would it be? I definitely want to see a woman’s face on a dollar bill or coin sometime in the future. < Oh man, this is a pretty good answer. We do already have women in our P500 and P1000 bills, but they’re accompanied by men :/ It’d be neat to see a woman take over a bill/coin all on her own, like Gabriela Silang.

The place that you'd most like to be right now is where? God I really wish I were out in a coffee shop right now but I have to saveeeeee. I’ve been meaning to check out this nearby cafe that also doubles as a co-working space (which means I can do work there without feeling guilty or anxious that I’m taking too much time there, yay), and I might visit next week.

Do large crowds make you anxious? Depends on what the context is. If I find myself in the middle of a stampede that’s quickly going ugly then I will definitely start to panic; but if I’m at, say, a concert, then personally a bigger crowd means a better experience for me.

Do you own a helmet of any sorts? None of my own, but we do have a helmet for our bike.

Will you willingly sing in front of other people besides your family? No unless a huge sum of money is up for grabs, lmao. I’ve only sang in public once, when my mom made me do a solo number on my 7th birthday.

What's in the box? Yeah, I’m not feeling creative enough for this question...

Does your family generally decorate for most holidays? No, only for Christmas.

Would you take the chance to be Nancy Drew or The Hardy Boys for a day? Eh, I’d pass up on the offer. Mystery isn’t my thing.

Do you eat soup when you're sick? No. I prefer to drink lots of water as I usually lose my appetite when I’m sick anyway.

Is there a specific mug or coffee cup that you have to use all of the time? I don’t have to use it, but I’m in love with the mug Angela gave me just this past Christmas. I use it all the time now.

Have you ever watched Doctor Who? No, but I don’t think it’s my kind of genre or show.

If so, what do you think is the scariest creature yet?

Do you prefer to do your shopping online or in person? If I already have an idea of what I want to get, I prefer to get it in person. But if I need something oddly specific and have no idea where to start, that’s when I start to look for online shops or go to Shopee or Lazada altogether.

If you read, which book or series did you enjoy most as a child? Angie Sage, with her Septimus Heap series.

Do you read tour guide type books before you visit places? It’s been a while since I’ve traveled extensively, and when I was younger I didn’t really read into tourist guides. Now that I’m older, I do want to start reading up before visiting a different country – not necessarily about the best places to visit, but more about the culture and practices I have to observe. I remember being reprimanded by a Korean when I tried to snap a photo of something I saw while out in public in Jeju, and I don’t want to do something like that again.

Would you please belt out a few song lyrics here? AND IF YOU TRY TO FIND ME NOOOOW I’M IN ALL THE ECHOES THAT HAVE FAAAADED OUT soooo!!! I’M MOVING ON CAUSE I JUST WANT TO FEEL FOR ONCE THAT I BELONG, THAT’S WHAT GOING ON

How do you get rid of your hiccups? I hold my breath, which is a trick taught to me by my mom. Not always effective, but it does work sometimes.

Is there one saying that you've adopted from someone/somewhere else? I’ve picked up “Awesome!” which was Gabie’s catchphrase. My former director also liked saying “Anywhoooooo” when she wants to digress, and I’ve since adopted that into my vocabulary and mannerisms as well.

Can you lie effectively and smoothly? Yes, but I feel like shit every time I have to.

Do you buy Halloween candy when it's on sale after the holiday? No, I don’t enjoy candy anyway.

Why is your favorite teacher your favorite? She taught beyond her curriculum - music, which isn’t even part of my top 30 favorite subjects - and always made sure to inject a little bit of useful life advice in all her lessons.

Who can never fail to make you laugh? Hans.

Do you agree with the "they're just being kids" excuse? No, especially if the kids in question are already 16/17 year olds.

How many pets have you had in your lifetime? Countless goldfish, one chick, one rabbit, one cat, two birds, and two dogs.

Were you ever afraid of monsters under your bed? Sure. Still am occasionally, heh.

Would you kindly recommend your favorite movie to me? Two for the Road shows a realistic take on love told through cars and a non-linear tour around Southern Europe. If you’re into that and Audrey Hepburn’s pretty outfits in each scene, definitely check it out.

#survey #surveys

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tashgoose · 5 years ago

Photo

Main commissions are open again! Two slots open! Small experimental wing it commissions are also still available! I'm not currently offering background options. See my commission site for examples, prices, tos and more info!

Best with Imaginative fantasy themes. Nature themes. Creatures. Natural, earthy colours and markings.

Will draw Any animal/creature, anthro or human. Android/cyborg's to an extent. Original, existing, and fan characters. Portraits and pets.

Won't Draw Complex machinery, very complicated and detailed armor. (Might be able to do a simplified version) Extreme gore (blood and small wounds are ok). Nsfw, most fetishes and anything discriminatory. I won’t heavily reference/copy another artist's, character, art style or pose.

Please include this form where applicable when taking a slot. I realize this might be a bit wordy. But it saves both of us time to have all the info I need to get things going.

Username/s Paypal address

Character name Character species - If a mythical or made up creature please note real animal inspirations as well. Especially if its heavily stylized.

Character info – Just a few notes on their personality, what they do and whatever else may be relevant for the artwork. Too little or too much info might make it difficult to get a grasp of your character.

Character refs – if you don’t have any refs please include a description with photos and inspiration images. Please note, its in my tos not to copy or heavily reference someone else’s style or character design. These are just to give me an idea of the kind of look you want.

Preferences – What would you like the character to be doing in the artwork? If the description is too complex or controlling, I might have difficulty making a good piece of art. I can work with artistic liberty but please include the kind of mood you’d like for the art. Energetic and happy! Or sad and listless, angry and tense etc. This is so I can more confidently start the work with a jumping off point with more of an idea of what you want.

Artistic liberty with character designs How comfortable are you with me adjusting your character’s design? Some folk want my own take while others might not want me to change things too much. With certain commission types I may have to simplify features, or colours and markings. Stylized and traditional painting commissions in particular. So let me know if there’s anything in particular you want to keep or change! I tend to go for a more semi feral look with anthro characters. I Prefer more natural colours and markings. And I like natural and fantasy/imaginative settings.

Commission type What type of commission would you like? If there are different options, please include which one! Full body, half body or stylized?

Want the original shipped? Traditional commissions can be sent with an extra post and packaging fee. UK (signed, first class) - £3 European union (tracked + signed) - £9 USA, Canada + Elsewhere (tracked + signed) - £10. If yes, please include your address!

Any other necessary info? Is it for someone’s birthday? (I can put off uploading it until a certain date) Is it going to be used for anything? Does it need certain dimensions for digital files?

--------------------------------------------------------------

How to Order Read my TOS Email me at [email protected] to claim a slot! While I'm happy to answer questions about availability and costs please only book a slot when you are ready to pay. Please include above info. Payment up front via paypal invoice. I’ll invoice you once I know what you want and when I'm ready to start your commission. If you take a slot and don’t respond after a week (before payment) I’ll have to remove your slot. Please tell me if somethings come up/you’ve changed your mind about the commission.

Wip’s and Edits I send wip’s throughout the commission. The sooner you respond, the sooner I finish your commission. Please don't take a week to respond as that can really mess up my schedule. But take a moment to make sure you’re happy with everything. Drawing stage - Two rounds of revisions for the rough sketch stage. For posing and proportions. One more round when the drawing is finished for more precise digital edits. Digital colour - Two rounds to check colours, markings and shading. Traditional paintings - One round of digital colour adjustments as it would be difficult to adjust the paintings themselves. Additional rounds of edits will be priced depending on complexity. Traditional paintings will have very limited edits due to the medium. I can change colours and little details digitally once the painting is done. If you’re quite particular about your character’s colours and details, traditional paintings might not be the best option for you.

Thank you for reading! Please ask if you have any questions

#art commisions #commission info #commission sheet #commissions open #watercolor #watercolour #postercolor #postercolour #pencil drawing

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asherlockstudy · 5 years ago

Text

Fair warning: this is an unpleasant post about my health and it might be a trigger to some. I just needed to get it out there, even if nobody reads this, I just had to.

This is the worst spring of my life so far. I am diagnosed with GERD, hiatal hernia and mild IBS. Or mild it was.

This spring I might have contracted some viral infection or most likely it was my severe anxiety that caused an unprecedented flare up of my IBS, which had always been extremely mild, almost unnoticeable.

For the last two months:

I can't breathe - especially deeply. My belly won't extend.

My chest hurts and burns and stings and I feel like an elephant sits on me.

My esophagus or stomach feels like it's getting strangled. It is twisting 24/7.

Pain extends to my heart and my back.

My back feels like it is on fire.

I have frequently a temperature of 37+/- 0,2 C which is technically normal but it is high for me and it feels uncomfortable. I actually feel like I am on fire regardless of the temperature.

I have acid reflux.

I have constipated diarrhea - for real.

But mostly it's just constipation that makes my intestines hurt like crazy.

I can't eat sitting down and without sweating.

During my worst days which are the majority I only sleep when I basically faint from exhaustion.

I cry all the time. About everything but mostly about my state.

Bowel movements don't bring me relief - they make me much much worse.

The bloating is so extreme that I feel like I am about to explode at any moment and the organs will tear apart. I burp like 4500000 times per day. And it doesn't sound like a burp, it sounds like plain air release from a balloon or something. I can't expel the rest of the trapped gas (u know which one) to fucking save my life - literally. Despite all that, my belly is not visibly very distended... which I fear makes me feel even worse. At this point it feels like the trapped gas has created negative pressure inside the intestines and it only keeps increasing.

I started having PMS symptoms out of nowhere too. My breasts got swollen, heavy, painful while my nipples had needle sensations. A few days ago my abdomen got so swollen and painful that it abruptly stopped my period during its heaviest flow. I was without period for two days and now I am getting the old dark blood.

The pain in the chest or around the heart is terrifying. Sometimes it feels hot and sometimes like something cold expands deep inside me.

I have tachycardia or bradycardia and heart palpitations depending on IBS's mood.

I am exhausted. Even walking from one corner of the room to the other makes me tired most days. The quality and duration of my sleep have no effect on my fatigue.

Pain killers don't help. Antispasmodics bearly do. Freaking narcotics don't either.

I have been trying the IBS low FODMAP diet for three weeks now... I see more worsening than improvement.

And now the crazy stuff: I have been to a GP, two gastroenterologists, a cardiologist, a microbiologist and hospitalised. After they examine me, they all ask the same thing: "Why are you so stressed?". I hate this so much I want to pull my hair off when I hear it.

I am taking my temperature and oxygen levels every day. I have had two ECGs, a heart CT, rib & lung CT, upper abdomen CT and two detailed blood tests. All looks fine except for the large intestine which looks like crap *get it?*. Both gastroenterologists avoid giving me endoscopies because they are convinced it's just IBS but I can't shake off my fears. Could you, if you were in my place? I am offering them money, and they refuse it because they are THAT sure.

Now the things I can't do:

I can't eat whatever and however I want. I can't sleep, I can't exercise, I can't bend, I can't lift anything, I can't read a book or watch a movie or a show, I can't do chores, I can't draw and paint in the new tablet my friends gifted me. I can't talk to my friends because I am in such a poor state. I can't take good care of myself, I can't play that videogame I literally bought a subscription for. I struggle to dress myself and I need help to put my shoes on. I can't post the things I wanted to here (gifs for rhink and theory for Jaime Lannister and ASOIAF). I can't find much relief in Rhett and Link content anymore (who incidentally drove me through another hard time in the past). I can't keep track of my queues and my blogs anymore. I have no idea what is posted and when. And I can't answer to some messages and tag games that some good people have sent me.

This is how I am doing these days. My thoughts go to those who live with chronic pain and diseases and I shiver at the thought that this might be long term for me too. I don't know what to do. I have what I used to call a fierce survival instinct but my mind lately has become a grim place.

#personal #tw bad health #ibs #irritable bowel syndrome

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rwbyremnants · 5 years ago

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PLEASE NOTE: Extreme kink, including lots of petplay. Further warnings at the beginning of each chapter (but the warnings include spoilers). If you have a problem with that please don't read. These are gonna be looooong chapters again. 15-20 pages, depending.

Welcome back to the universe of White Noise! Sorry this took so long to get posting, I wanted it to be the best it can be before posting the first chapter. Hopefully you'll enjoy all the craziness from myself and B.A.Y. that you've come to expect, and maybe a few new surprises. For those of you into Princess and the Dragons, don't worry, it's not going anywhere.

Happy reading!

=Chapter 1

Is this weird? Showing up to someone's place just for this stuff? Is this weird it's my sister's girlfriend's sister?

These were all questions Ruby Rose was asking herself as she rode the elevator of the Schnee Records building. She had been a couple of times with Yang and Weiss before, mainly for helping Weiss move out to their lakeside home. Other than that, she'd never stayed for an extended period. A few years ago she would have just died to be in here.

But she was there for an entirely different purpose today: to see Winter, whose number she obtained after their brief meeting in The Clamp. There were one or two initial debates against it, but after what felt like an eternity, Winter had agreed to assist Ruby in her first Pet Play experience. She promised a safe environment, with no strict rules. Just a fun test.

Winter had been busy for a couple of weeks herself, having to deal with all the media coverage the Schnee family was getting thanks to their new arrival, but she had managed to free up an evening for Ruby. As much as Ruby insisted it was no trouble moving it, Winter reassured her that she needed the time off, to focus on something other than making sure any news stories were purely casting a good light on her favourite couple.

Finally working up the courage to knock on the door, Ruby stood with her hands behind her back, idly hopping up and down on her toes as she waited.

Why did she ask for my sizes for clothes and stuff? Maybe this is weird… but hey, I guess we're behind closed doors. How bad can it be?

When the door creaked open, there stood Winter Schnee, towering over the younger girl by several inches. Her black leather boots and beige sweater-dress only left her knees exposed, which was quite conservative given what they were planning on doing with themselves that evening.

"Ruby," Winter said with a pleasant smile, almost a professional one. "Do come in. I was beginning to worry you might have reconsidered."

"Sorry I'm late! Somebody pushed all the buttons on the elevator for the way up here…" When that only roused suspicion, she laughed nervously, scratching the back of her head.

“Quite alright. I’m just glad you’re here now.”

Soon enough, she got over the initial nerves and stepped forward into the room. Everything was so classy! From the water feature to one side to the occasional potted plant. She expected nothing less from one of the Schnee daughters. Although, there was something out of place.

"I thought you were more of a pricey-wine kinda gal?" she asked, pointing at the abandoned beer bottle her roommate had left to one side the sofa.

"Drat," Winter sighed as she spotted it, dashing over to snatch it up. "I did have company earlier. Sorry about this - I tidied the whole room and somehow missed this!" Already heading for the kitchen, she asked over her shoulder, "What's your pleasure?"

"Huh? O-oh! Um, do you have anything strawberry-y?"

Ruby still couldn't believe the situation she was in. Her sister's fiancé's sister's apartment. Her idol's sister. No one would have believed it if she had not told Blake and Penny. But as much as she wanted to blog about it, she knew she couldn't. This arrangement was strictly confidential; no one apart from a select few could know no matter what. Either way, it was going to be a hell of an experience.

"You are… in luck!" Winter announced when she returned a few minutes later. In one hand, she had what looked to be a dry martini with two olives, and in the other, a bottle of what the label proclaimed to be "strawberry ale". The liquid inside certainly was red enough. "Only had the one in the far back, but I'm fairly certain these things don't go 'bad'." It was already open, and she proffered the bottle. "Something light to start off for you? I think it's fitting for this evening."

"Thanks! Yeah, I think I'm gonna need it…" she agreed, taking the bottle from her and lightly tapping it against Winter's glass before she took the first sip. After a moment of standing awkwardly, she took a seat on the sofa. Sat upright and professional, the poor girl looked as though she was about to have a job interview than more intimate acts!

"Sorry, I'm still so new to all this," she admitted, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Of course, Winter did suppress a little chuckle, and even hid the wider smile behind her glass. It was too adorable, and she wanted to reach over and pinch her cheek.

"Just don't worry. We have the entire apartment to ourselves, and no one's going to judge you here. Tell me what's on your mind."

"No other company?"

“Nope.” Luckily so. Qrow was out at Taiyang's for the evening while they both took turns looking after the little one for Yang and Weiss. Not that Ruby was aware her uncle was living in Winter's apartment. That would have been a mood-ruiner.

Taking another gulp of ale to try and calm her nerves, she crossed her legs nervously. "To tell you the truth I… Have only really done sex stuff a few times. And that was completely vanilla stuff! My partner’s not into receiving, so I'm not gonna be too good at the giving part."

"Oh?" The elder woman was genuinely surprised. "Well… to tell you the truth, I hadn't been intending to do anything underneath the clothes tonight. Just to test you out with a few things here and there, try some commands. Get you acclimated." Her head tilted slightly to one side. "Did… you think you were going to walk in here and I would fuck you silly?"

She lifted her spare hand to twirl a strand of hair around her finger over and over again out of habit. Something to distract herself from how nervous she really was. With a light dusting of red to her cheeks, she said in a quieter tone. "Well, I mean… isn’t that what most of the people at that crazy club were doing?"

For a moment, Winter was silent as she watched Ruby fidget. Observed the healthy flush of youthful uncertainty in her cheeks. Then she took another sip of her martini, set it on the coffee table, and turned to face her fully.

"I wouldn't do that to you unless you asked for it specifically. And yes, by all means, the next time you come over - if there is a next time - I can jerk you in the front door and have your clothes off in under a minute. But not tonight. I want us to get used to each other and try some easy things."

Her reassurance was certainly starting to help. Quite visibly her shoulders slackened, and she took another sip of the beverage before smiling gratefully. "I appreciate it! I'm just… I dunno, I'm so nervous about being too weird about things. Last time someone only mentioned the stuff they did in a truth or dare game and I was completely losing it. And even that was nothing compared to the stuff at the club!"

Cringing slightly away, Winter laughed as she said, "It's alright, I… well, I'm a little surprised Blake and Sun threw you into the deep end like that, but I'm sure it certainly gave you a few ideas of things for us to try! As we have discussed off and on, of course."

"They kind of did, but I guess I needed it. For myself, I mean. At least now I can look into that sort of stuff for research and not have an internal freak out about it." Taking another sip of her drink, she suddenly seemed to smile whilst in the middle of a sip, drawing it away. "Like before they took me there, all I had to do was remember what Yang said about her and Weiss recording one of their strap on sessions and I'd be completely…"

The instant the later name left her lips, she froze up. She herself had grown numb to her sister talking about her moments with her lover - mainly since it was Weiss, who she did want to hear about. But no doubt for Winter, that would be the opposite.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to, I-I mean I… We- um…"

"No, no, it's okay," Winter half-laughed, lowering her eyes to watch how Ruby kept fiddling with the hem of her black flounce skirt. It really suited the red tank top and red sneakers, but it was probably a little more leg than the younger woman was used to showing off - even if it was only her calves. If anything, the shapeliness of them was helping her ignore the mental image of their sisters engaging in acts that were better off not pictured.

However, to keep herself from getting a little TOO focused on Ruby's body, she took up her martini and sipped at it again. "So… over text, I believe we settled on a couple of things you wanted to try. First, just some 'first date' fun, like kissing and caressing. You also wanted to try the 'naughty schoolgirl', and the 'bad puppy', I think? Or did you decide about being written on like those twins in the club?"

Rather glad for the change of subject, she nodded reassuringly. Most of all she was glad Winter didn't think too badly of her for bringing up what her sister had done with hers in the bedroom. "The Bad Puppy is definitely one, but the writing part I'm still not sure. My partner's only condition to this is that she sees no evidence, so I don't wanna get marked then her to find it all over me, you know?"

"Oh, that's a good point. Hmm… alright, I'll try to keep any other marks to a minimum, as well." When Ruby's eyes widened, she grinned in understanding at her shock. "I'm not talking about anything extreme, just… hickeys are actually very easy to leave if you aren't paying attention, too."

"Oh, right yeah! I wasn't even thinking of hickeys but I… Guess they would…" Swallowing again, she quickly took another long swig of ale in an attempt to keep herself sane. The very thought of hickeys being something Winter could so easily accomplish was enough to make her feel nervous once again. The poor girl really was to be probably her least experienced sub.

Something about the way Ruby was so nervous was most definitely bringing out the Dom in Winter. She wanted to get started right away, to take control of the uncertain little thing and steer her in the direction she wished. But that would come in time.

"Listen… would you like to watch a movie with me?"

Taken aback by the sudden suggestion, she blinked for a moment, finally lowering the bottle from her lips as she swallowed again. "You mean… You actually want to, with me? Like, cover the actual 'first date' stuff?"

"I would. I mean, most of what I watch is documentaries, but feel free to select something else." Debating with herself for a few seconds, she decided to be forthright. "You seem willing to proceed, but not quite mentally prepared for it. The most sensible course of action is just take it off the table and come back to it later. You've never even been in my apartment before, have you?"

Yet again, Winter gave her relief. At least she wasn't all too disappointed in how nervous she seemed, or her strange requests for rather platonic things. She seemed more than willing to let her get used to things before they began their play.

"Not yours, no," Ruby admitted, putting the bottle down on the coffee table. "I went to Weiss's when she was moving out, but hers had barely anything really. You actually look like you… live here…"

With a quiet chuckle, Winter stood up from the sofa, carrying her drink along. "You're not wrong. Weiss never really made this building 'home'. Would you like the grand tour?"

Right away she seemed to brighten up again, collecting her bottle and giving a polite smile. "I'd like that! I have a feeling this apartment is probably bigger than my dad's house."

"Oh, I doubt that, but we'll see."

The tour didn't take that long. Winter led her through the dining room and kitchen, asking if Ruby wanted another drink; she declined, given that she was still working on the first. She didn't show her the spare bedroom, stating that it was just a mess of storage and not interesting. Then the bathroom, and wrapping up the tour…

"And this is the bedroom," she finished with a flourish. "Where the magic happens. Also, where sleep happens."

"Magic is good. Sleep is good too. Everything’s super good."

As the door opened to the bedroom, Ruby took in the various sights. The bed, with beams that looked too sturdy than was necessary, the various wardrobes, some that seemed locked for some reason. Everything pointed to this being a common place for her to bring back people for these activities.

"Everything is good," Winter echoed. Though she was still standing back by the door and gazing up and down Ruby's form. Considering possibilities. Then she cleared her throat and smiled. "Unless you want to try on some of my shoes or something, there isn't much else to see in here, I'm afraid. Not yet, anyway." The last was somewhat suggestive, but she was trying to keep it to a minimum until the girl was more comfortable.

"Sounds like you and Weiss have had too many slumber parties. Talking about swapping clothes, trying on shoes…" Ruby giggled to herself. Though she wanted to power herself into going in head first, she knew in her own mind it would be a bad move. She wasn't ready, and would need to be it they were going to go further. Relaxing for a while was a good idea.

“Does it sound like that?” Winter breathed with a melancholy smile.

Whoops. Ruby sensed she had stepped on a land mine. "So… movie?"

"Of course." Leaving the room behind them, along with its ominous possibilities, Winter went on, "Why don't I set you up with my Netflix so you can pick something good, and then I'll pop us some popcorn? Unless you're a bit hungrier. I have several takeout menus."

"Popcorn is fine! Unless you're hungry, in which case I'll have something. Or if you're not we'll just stick to popcorn, I'm easy like that." But upon realising the irony of that last sentence, how when she they were leaving the bedroom to head back to the living room again, she laughed nervously. "Foodwise, I mean."

After taking a minute to mull that over, she asked, "Just answer quick, don't overthink it; pizza or Chinese?"

It didn't even take her a few seconds to decide. "Not to sound stereotypical because I'm half that, but… Chinese."

"Well then, my little wonton," she chuckled. By this point, she had turned on the TV and was just getting Netflix pulled up, but she took a moment to smile over at Ruby. "I'll get the menu for Hunan Dragon. Anything you want is yours."

"Ooo! Do they do crispy noodles or mushroom chow mein? I love that!" She grinned happily, taking her seat on the sofa as she eagerly waited for Winter to return with the menu. Maybe the evening wouldn't be so bad after all.

---------------------------------------------

An hour later, they were about halfway through their selected film, and their cartons of noodles and rice. Winter had opted for something with a lot of vegetables and a very slight amount of spice, and Ruby had her beloved chow mein, and they split an order of crab rangoons between them. Both of them were on their second drinks; the cumulative effect was beginning to show in them, but the aid of food was keeping either woman from turning into a bumbling fool just yet.

"You know, I never understood these films," Winter was saying as she finished off the last of her white rice. That they had been sitting closer and closer had not escaped her, but she hadn't been forcing it, either. "Why is he a wizard? Why him and not his brother, the fat one?"

"Because Dudley's a muggle, he can't see magic – and he’s a cousin, so he didn’t get the magical bloodline. Plus, he's not very nice until the very last book, but the film deleted the scene where he and Harry forgive each other which always annoys me." Ruby commented, clearly a fan of the series considering she admitted to reading the books as well as seeing the films. Now that one bottle had been finished, she found the confidence to lean further back into the sofa, and barely even noticed she was leaning against Winter's shoulder.

"Maybe we should draw a lightning bolt on your forehead," Winter chuckled, poking the tip of her index finger into the bridge-rest of Ruby's glasses. "Or would Penny be upset about that?"

"Over a lightning bolt?" Weakly shrugging her shoulders in the end, she simply giggled to herself. "Well if we taped my glasses up, we could say it's a cosplay."

"But didn't the bushy-haired girl fix that?" Taking a calculated risk, she draped her arm around Ruby's shoulders. Her intoxication level was just enough that the action looked entirely natural instead of stiff or unsure.

As luck would have it, Ruby didn't notice. In fact, she leant into the action a little more, resting her head rather contentedly against Winter's shoulder and nuzzling into it. "Because he doesn't know the spell but Hermione does! He's gotta learn it."

Nodding, Winter laid her own head against Ruby's as she sighed. "Ah. Well, I guess that's why they're at this school, isn't it?" Then crossed her legs in the opposite direction as she settled in more. "Thank you for teaching me the ways of the wizards."

Giving a small nod, she nuzzled against Winter yet again. Thanks to the mingling alcohol in her system, and the warm presence, she felt more than comfortable doing so. No longer was she worried about the fact it was someone in such an odd relation to her. All she cared about was that the warmth was welcoming.

"Thank you for letting me! Penny isn't all too interested in Harry Potter, nor Yang. Never really been able to nerd about it."

Stroking very idly up and down Ruby's bicep, she said, "Really? I find that surprising; Penny seems exactly the type."

The idle stroking was starting to awaken something in her. She had cuddled Penny before in the same way against the sofa at home, even cuddled in bed before they went to sleep. But when she knew Winter's intentions for the evening, and her own for that matter, it seemed to be the first step to initiate things.

To try and give Winter the upper hand, she began to tilt her head more, exposing more of her neck for the woman she was leaning against. "Nah… she's more Star Wars."

"Now there's a franchise I really didn't understand. Seemed more of a 'boys club'. But I guess it isn't if your friend is a fan." Winter didn't miss the tilt of the neck, and couldn't help but focus on it for a moment. But then she forced her eyes back to the movie. Ruby might not have even been entirely aware she was doing it, and she didn't want to overstep her bounds. Not yet.

"Girlfriend." Ruby had to correct. Even if it seemed like a minor detail, it was something that a lot of people forgot. Understandable perhaps, with them not being the most intimate couple, but it was important to Ruby.

And yet there she was, having agreed to come to another's apartment to engage in very intimate acts. Acts that she was still trying to leave hints she was ready for at last by leaving her neck exposed, and stroking one of Winter's legs idly.

The hand on the leg was a much more obvious green light than anything else. One Winter seized upon. "Sorry, 'girlfriend' it is," she said, raising the hand that had been on her arm to her neck and grazing the very tips of her fingernails up and down the skin. "I didn't want to make an assumption, and it seems I did in the other direction."

"It's okay. It's just not a… sexual… relationship." Now they were getting somewhere. The tips of her nails were creating small sensations of their own, right in such a sensitive part of her. One that didn't receive much attention from her partner apart from the odd peck. Continuing to stroke Winter's legs, she further adjusted her position, shuffling a little closer.

"I… have a question to ask you, if you don't mind," Winter breathed, her voice intentionally sensual as the scratching continued, as she bobbed one calf up and down to show she had noticed where Ruby's hand was. "But I don't have to ask it. We can go back to Harry and his wizardly world if you want."

Is this it? It was all she could ask herself. She had no idea what to expect, but assumed this would lead to the activities they had chatted about. Only one way to find out.

"What's that?"

No backing down now. Raising her neck up, Winter also gently pushed Ruby's upright so that she could stare into her eyes, holding her silvery gaze.

"Sorry if this isn't very sexy, but it's important." Clearing her throat, she went on, "You may be intoxicated. As you are, I can't just assume you're willing to… do things. Not like I would if you were definitely sober. I have to ask, and hear a clear answer. Am I allowed to kiss you?"

"…Oh." Well, it was one of her requests. Kissing was something she was reasonable at, something she and Penny did occasionally. But it was something she wanted to improve on. With a nod, she smiled. "Yes."

"For future reference," Winter breathed as she began to stroke the side of Ruby's neck again, turning in her seat so that they were facing each other properly, "am I allowed to touch your body?"

It sent another shiver down her spine. Oh how good that attention felt… she craved more of it, more attention to her body in general. If Winter could entice her by stroking her neck alone, what more was she capable of?

"You are."

A light smile pulled at her lips as the hand raised to tease lightly across cheek and temple. "Am I allowed… to take off your glasses, Harry?"

A smile that was mirrored in Ruby's own face. However, that was accompanied by the biting of her lip. Feeling a small bout of confidence for herself, she whispered, "If you'd like… or you could do that in the bedroom?"

"Hmm…" Reaching up, she gently pulled the glasses down her nose until they slipped out from behind her ears. Her mouth opened in a small, pretend-gasp. "Well, look at that; I can do it just fine right here."

"But I was trying- I- ugh, I have no game!" Her attempt at seduction seemed to have failed. But it did at least get that small barrier out of the way. She was still smiling back at Winter rather than fleeing. And she still had a hand on her thigh.

"I hope this isn't too forward," Winter told her as the fingers slid down to her neck, "but you are absolutely beautiful." Their noses were almost touching. "Very much so."

"What? My glasses?" she tried to joke, leaning in so their noses touched. Maybe that would give Winter that little bit more incentive to begin.

"Did I say you, or your glasses?" The question may have been rhetorical, but she wasn't above driving her point home as her lips came to within a hair's breadth of Ruby's. Then she breathed, barely a whisper, "With or without them, you're stunning."

"Thank you." Usually she would argue, be unable to take such a compliment. But when it was coming from Winter Schnee, it seemed only fair that she take it. Why would Winter lie, anyway?

When she noticed how close their lips truly were, she finally let them reach their goal. Going forward the final fraction of an inch, she allowed her lips to come into contact with Winter's, kneading against them gently.

The kiss was not overly emotional, not a hungry, needy one such as might have taken place if the two of them were romantically interested in one another. But that wasn't to say Winter didn't allow her carnal desires to show through slightly as her lips pushed against Ruby's over and over, as their bodies drew slightly closer the longer it went on.

As time flew by, the two had ended up shuffling their bodies together onto the sofa. Ruby lay eagerly on top of the more dominant woman, kissing back with just as much energy as Winter was putting in. It was a slow, intimate kiss. One clearly to set the pace of how they wanted their evening to go. Anything more would have ruined the moment.

Though Winter was about to up the pace, now that they had at least grown a little more accustomed to the closeness. One hand remained just behind her head, but the other was gliding further down her back, resting just above her hindquarters, rubbing in light circles.

A soft hum sounded from her. A hum that showed she approved of Winter's actions. And when she pushed her backside more against Winter's hand to encourage more contact, it was clear that she was ready to take things up a notch. So she tried to make a few moves of her own, placing one hand on Winter's neck to hold her in place, and the other against her hip, running up and down her side slowly.

Then Winter's hand drifted past her end to begin hitching up her skirt, and inch at a time. It didn't take long to get it bunched enough to touch her thigh directly, which she did so, lightly, teasing. At the same time, she also allowed her own mouth to fall open; should Ruby be ready for that, the way was now clear for her.

This is so nice… Winter is a good kisser. Yet again, she was fretting at herself internally, but she took the chance. Allowing her tongue to enter, she seemed to be beaming happily when they connected, allowing them to brush against one another slowly. No fierce battles, just gentle contact.

I wonder if Weiss kisses like this… I mean, they are sisters. Then she verbally berated herself, Oh my god… do NOT think about that, Ruby Rose. Do NOT think about how she looks like Weiss! That’s not cool! Winter is her own person, and she’s really hot! And nice!

For a few minutes, they remained like that, Winter's hand just resting on the back of Ruby's bare thigh and their tongues dancing with each other in a sensuous ballet. The more they writhed back and forth, the more she wanted, until she finally withdrew to gaze up at her, panting and breathless.

"You… are a quick study, Ruby."

Completely red, Ruby could only smile back giddily to the older Schnee. She knew not if it was to do with the alcohol, or just from how good the kiss was. Either way, it had accomplished what they wanted; she was feeling more than prepared to progress.

"Then teach me more," she encouraged, stroking Winter's side again.

Winter held her gaze as she slid her hand up to grip Ruby's rear firmly. Then she let out a small chuckle. "Are these silk? Very nice."

"EEP!" Feeling something as basic as Winter grasping one of her cheeks was enough to make that blush deepen, and she already looked a sight! But rather than edge away from the hand, she nodded, remaining still.

"Y-yeah… I really, really like silk, even… if I’ve never had any before today."

"I have some in the fridge." When Ruby's eyebrows drew together, she laughed, one of the most full laughs she had given in the girl's presence. "Silk. You know… the soy milk. Sorry, bad joke."

"Soy milk, huh?" She giggled at Winter's attempt at humour. She really was like her sister in that respect. No, time to cut that thought off before it came back again. And to do so, she bit her lip for a moment, before leaning in toward her ear and whispering, "It's got a matching bra, too."

Shivering slightly, Winter held her in place and whispered back in kind, "I wouldn't mind seeing that."

"Then…" Biting her lip once again, she looked into the icy blue eyes of her elder, and then toward the rear hallway leading to the bedrooms. "Do you wanna…?"

The smile she got in return was the barest amount more wolfish than any Winter had allowed herself up until that point. "You know things will move a lot faster once we're in there," she breathed as she sat up, kissing her lips briefly again. "Is that what you want?"

With the hand still on her rear, she allowed a moment to clench herself slightly against it, but it brought on an even bigger grin. She liked it, and was prepared for the pace to increase. "You bet."

However, Winter had something else in mind that Ruby might not have been prepared for. In a single fluid motion, she rose from the sofa and swept the smaller woman into her arms, sneakers dangling off to one side as she gazed down into her wide eyes.

"Shall we, then?"

There was another surprised yelp from Ruby. Within an instant, she threw her arms around Winter's neck for balance, looking back up into the icy blue eyes again. Once used to the weightless feeling of being in another's arms, she allowed herself to giggle. "We shall!"

And so Winter carried her down the hallway to her bedroom. By the time they entered, however, she was panting and had to drop Ruby quite heavily onto the bed.

"Whoo! Sorry, it's… not that you're heavy, just that my usual… yoga routine doesn't include so much… lifting!"

There was one more smaller yelp when she landed on the bed, but the instant she looked up at Winter's exhausted expression, she laughed to herself, quickly sitting up to face her. "Well I could have walked it if you were that tired! But y’know, that was fun!"

Taking a deep breath in, Winter let it out slowly, smiling down at her project for the evening. "Now… you had something you wanted to show me?" She was teasing, and it was obvious, but it was also part of the game.

The laughter slowly began to die down with Winter's words. She did somewhat want to show Winter that easily, but somehow she knew Winter wouldn't prefer that. She'd prefer to work for it. Therefore, she pushed her skirt downward again, covering back up the first item that was on show.

"Noooope?"

"Ohhhh," Winter replied, catching on to the teasing tone. "Well then… can I start here?" Her hand reached up to brush the tank top strap on Ruby's shoulder.

Taking a quick gaze at what she was doing, Ruby found her cheeks going red once again. But she nodded in approval. It was just the one sleeve for now, but no doubt she knew Winter would be taking the entire top off.

"That reminds me…" she trailed off, stopping Winter from progressing. "Why did you want my clothing sizes?"

"Don't worry about that right now," she reassured her gently as she traced her fingertip over the strap. Red. That told her Ruby was definitely in the state of mind to do fun things together, and had been in the planning of their evening. To that end, she asked, "Are you ready for me to get you out of these clothes?"

Despite her previous want for Winter to work at it, she was too desperate to see what the night entailed. Too eager to keep going. With a small nod, she raised her arms for Winter to do as she pleased. "Ready."

With no further delay, Winter began to peel the tank up and over Ruby's head, tossing it up toward the pillows. Then she ran her hands over the smooth stomach that had been revealed, gentle and attentive.

"I like your bra," she told her quite simply. "Red is your colour, definitely."

Smiling back warmly, she leant into Winter's touch willingly. It felt good to have such soft hands making their way over its surface, especially those of Winter Schnee. "Thank you," she whispered. "Everyone else seems to think so. E-everyone that I've shown, I mean."

"Do you show a lot of people your bra? Interesting…" But then she laughed to show she was only joking as the hands slid down Ruby's hips and legs, removing her shoes. Then she glanced down… and snorted with further laughter.

"You have socks with bunnies on them."

Ruby ended up covering her face with her hands, groaning outward in embarrassment. Instinctively she drew her legs back in, trying to keep them out of Winter's view. "UGH, I knew I shoulda picked a plain pair!"

Still chuckling, Winter patted her calf. They were no-shows; it was easily enough remedied, and she didn't want to embarrass Ruby any more than was necessary. Not when they were still growing used to each other. In a heartbeat, her fingers and thumbs pinched between the two longest toes on each foot and yanked the socks free, dropping them on top of the sneakers.

"Problem solved. See? Don't worry about it, I was only teasing."

Slowly dragging her hands down her face again, she began to peek over them, trying still to keep her blush hidden from Winter. But a sign that she appreciated such reassurance came when she brought her leg forward, and lightly tapped Winter’s shoulder with her foot. "Just don't want to ruin the mood."

"You haven't," he promised her, catching the foot and kissing the soft curve of her calf muscle. "Relax. I'm going to slip into something more comfortable, if you don't mind."

"Not at all." She began to smile. Although, her hands had began to train down her own body teasingly, until they got to the waistline of her skirt. In an attempt to be just as sultry as Winter, she half closed her eyes. "Do you want me to remove this for when you get back?"

"Please, if you prefer." Then she opened her wardrobe, acquired a couple of things that she hid behind herself, and backed toward the Japanese folding screen. "I'll try not to take too long, but if I do… well, you can help yourself to another drink."

"I think you're trying to get me drunk," she joked, but continued to smile and giggle to herself as Winter vanished behind the screen. In a quick movement, she had her skirt off and on the floor with the rest of her clothes, and lay back on the bed by herself.

Okay Ruby, be sexy. And be you. Be sexy-you! And don't think about how much she looks like Weiss or how much you want to blog about this!

That last thought had her covering her face yet again. Why couldn't she get that thought out of her mind? Weiss was with her sister, engaged to her sister! Thinking such thoughts about her was wrong, especially when she was about to be sleeping with someone else. And yet, she had pined for Weiss for years before Yang started working for her. Those feelings weren't going to vanish easily.

Alright! Just… Just don't end up calling her name or something. That'd be humiliating.

Meanwhile, there were a few ominous noises from behind the screen. Clinking and clunking. Had Winter been wearing a belt before? Not that she had seen. It certainly was taking a while for her to finish.

"Almost done, I promise!" Winter grunted eventually.

"O-okay!" While she was waiting, she thought she might as well make an effort to appear appealing, and so raised her hands either side her head. She remembered the few poses she'd managed to see in a few magazines and attempted to copy one of them, to try and appear as sexy as possible with one hand on her hip, lying on her side.

Yeah, nailed it.

When Winter came out from behind the screen, she was wearing a silky, pale blue kimono-style robe over a matching negligee. Nothing more. She had even taken her hair out of its usual bun, and it cascaded down her shoulders in gentle waves of platinum.

"Oh…" Turning her gaze toward the older woman as she lay back on the bed, she found her cheeks lighting up again. Beautiful, again something like she'd find in a magazine, like she'd aimed for in the first place. It was enough to entice her, flatter Winter's form, and put her at ease all at once.

Okay... Winter is no consolation-Weiss. She’s a heck of a woman all on her own. Don’t screw this up, Ruby!

"Do you like it? I…" Winter hesitated, then looked down a little bashfully. "I've actually never had occasion to wear it for someone. I mean, you know what sort of activities I usually get up to, and they don't involve… well, I'd be wearing something with more spikes."

"Or nothing, I guess. It does look really pretty, and suits you!"

The tiniest bit of pink was in Winter's cheeks now. "Thank you. And you look fantastic in that, honestly." Planting herself on the side of the bed, she reached over to trace a hand up and down Ruby's thigh. "Enticing."

"I tried my best. I didn't know what you'd like or if you even liked girls that much, so I… figured I'd try something out." She smiled, watching Winter's every move eagerly. Those hands could work miracles, she was sure.

"Normally, I'm not dead set against them or especially interested. But you're very… persuasive somehow." Leaning down, she pressed her lips into the flat surface just above Ruby's navel. It was such a light touch, like the whisper of a ghost. It was enough to coax a giggle from her, and to continue to watch Winter's actions.

So she was one of a few, eh? Or one of the only ones? That was unexpected. It was certainly enough to make the girl feel very special. And all she wanted to do was please her elder.

Which reminded her… "I think," she began, licking her lips lightly from nerves. "I think I wanna try the bad puppy first."

"We can do that," Winter sighed, kissing lower. Then she paused, eyes turning upward without the rest of her face doing so. "Or that is… did you mean right now?"

Biting her lip once again, she hesitated. Winter seemed to want to finish her with her mouth already. Maybe that was her plan, to finish once regularly and then begin play after. Such a prospect was making her redder in the face again, and her nerves grew. But play took preparation and set up. It would buy a lot of time for her to prepare for if she did actually let herself be pleasured tonight, and she'd be able to do something for Winter first. With that in mind, she nodded.

"Y-yeah. Yes, please."

"Oh." Winter sat back a little, blinking in obvious surprise. "Well… alright, I suppose we could… yeah."

"J-just so you're not waiting around too long, I mean! I want this to be fun for you, too, so… it’s a party for… everybody!" She fumbled at her words again, nerves seeming to resurface within her. But at the very least, she was willing herself to keep going.

Winter crawled up to lay next to Ruby, draping her arm around her middle. She leaned in as if to kiss her, but turned to whisper into her ear at the last moment. "I was already having fun. Remember when we discussed the 'first date' experience? That's what I was going for. And I was really enjoying it."

"Oh…" Now she felt a fool. That little lie made her out to be assuming things out of place. That wouldn't do. Finally moving her hands from the elegant position she'd kept herself in all this time, she rolled to face her, looking up nervously. "Then… can we keep kissing and hugging a while then? I’m not sure I wanna do more stuff just yet."

"Absolutely." There wasn't even a moment's hesitation, and she had been smiling gently the entire time. "And we don't have to do 'more stuff' at all." Pressing her lips into Ruby's, she slid the arm around to push into her back and hold them closer together, eyes sliding closed.

To accept that response, Ruby slid her arms around Winter in return. One hand went straight into her long, platinum hair, holding her head against her so they could continue to kiss longer. The other had began to rub up and down her back.

"Silk…" She couldn't help but smile to herself, eager to touch more softness, to embrace it. It was a little thing, but one she loved.

A lot sooner than their previous kiss, their tongues were sliding together, and now their bare legs were tangling, holding each other in a tighter embrace still. A heated little groan floated out of Winter's throat into the space between their lips at the pleasant sensations. And Ruby returned the favour. She continued to slide her tongue against Winter's, humming with interest at the sensations. Unable to help herself, she managed to sneak one of her legs between Winter's, using it to bring her in closer.

Another unintended side effect was a soft moan she made into her mouth. One that clearly signalled something. Once the leg glided up high enough, Winter hummed again, the slender thigh pressing into her through the silk material of her nightie. She found herself completely fascinated with the way Ruby could be both frightened and bold at the same time; such a unique paradox.

Eventually, Ruby broke away the kiss with one final moan of her own. But it wasn't over yet. She continued to embrace the older woman, cuddle her up closely and feel around her body. That counted at the first date experience, right? To cuddle and kiss in undies?

That was when Winter remembered something else Ruby seemed to enjoy. Her mouth sought out the vulnerable neck, kneading into it and grazing it with her teeth every so often as they shifted against each other.

"Oooh…" Ruby seemed to purr out, allowing her eyes to fall shut while her fragile neck was attacked and kissed. It was one of her weaknesses, more than she cared to admit. On the odd occasion Penny was feeling up to things, it was always the first place she aimed for. Gripping more of the silken clothing, she relaxed into the various fussings over her body, growling with delight at them all. Silken clothes and soft lips - she was in heaven!

"You smell divine," Winter told her after a few more minutes of light play. Her hands and legs had not moved any further, though every once in awhile, her hips rolled slightly up against the thigh.

"So do you." She hadn't really thought about it before, but she did. It was a soft fragrance that reminded her of the cold air, like on the rare holiday they used to take in the northern states for skiing. But how contradictory it was that Winter smelled so cold, yet made her feel so warm in an embrace.

One of the woman's experienced fingers slid up Ruby's back just under the strap of her bra, grazing up and down lightly. There was no move made toward the clasp, only to titillate the skin that had been hiding underneath. And she gasped. Though Ruby was prepared for this eventuality, she didn't think Winter would be so eager! Even if it was just to touch the skin beneath, it was more than welcome. In fact…

"Do you want it off?" she asked, backing her head away for a moment so she could look into those icy blue eyes again.

"Do you want it off?" Winter countered easily, though her hand withdrew from under the straps to rest very gently against the clasp. "I want what you want."

She didn't answer with words. Only with a more confident action. Reaching behind her, she managed to unclasp the bra rather easily, soon bringing it forward and off her chest. After throwing it aside with the rest of her clothes, she looked back to Winter for her approval.

But all Winter did at first was to lean down and leave light kisses on the top of each breast, well away from the sensitive peaks. Then she leaned her head up again to leave a tiny peck on the tip of her nose.

Giggling yet again, Ruby could only continue to smile. Winter truly did know how to put her at ease, with every little step. Even when half naked, she didn't feel afraid. In fact, the light kisses had her feeling something very strange. Empowered.

Speaking of which… "I think I'm ready now. For real, this time."

"Ready for what?" Then she made sure to follow up with, "You can tell me, or show me. Whichever works for you. Also, you can feel free to do whatever you want to me tonight if you feel up to some exploration."

"Ready to begin… playing," she clarified. Slightly hunching her shoulders as she smiled up at Winter, she then looked over toward the wardrobe. Winter had seemed to very quickly get what she wanted, then suddenly shut it before Ruby could get a good look. No doubt there were more items in there for these methods of play. "I'm pretty curious how you'll dress me up."

Chuckling, Winter left one last kiss on Ruby's cheek before rising. “You say that now. We’ll see.”

#lady stardust #white noise #popstarverse #ruby x winter #rwby smut #rwby fanfiction #rwbyremnants #nsfw-Text

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chonkychornes · 5 years ago

Text

Stand By Me

Summary: The new recruit is a ray of sunshine compared to the resident grouch. What will it take for Bucky to realize she'll always have his back?

Pairing: Bucky/OC

Word Count: 5217

Disclaimer: I essentially wrote this in a day and I don’t write fluff, so yeah. Also, listen to the Skylar Grey’s cover of “Stand By Me”. It melted my hardd, black heart.

https://youtu.be/wcKcj98VQlk

New recruits were a dime a dozen at the compound; Bucky was used to people coming and going, and he didn’t trust new people. It was the main reason he had a vetting process, as it were, for the newbies. They’d show up and he’d let everyone else get to know them, get their first impressions, and then after a few months, if they survived that long, he’d start to make nice.

It would start with making his signature jet-fuel coffee for breakfast and flipping his knife at the table. Then it would be offering to train with them and not going easy. He figured if they could handle what he had to offer they just might make it as an Avenger.

After that, if he deemed them worthy enough, he’d tell them some of his stories—the ones he could get through. That’s usually when they bailed on him, and Bucky would go hang out with Steve, Sam, or Natasha.

They’d give him a hard time about it, but he generally didn’t care; he didn’t like Sam in the beginning, and now they were practically best friends … sort of. Plus, he kinda liked how his reputation, not only as the Winter Soldier but as this hardass at the compound, had preceded him. Well, until she showed up. Apparently, nobody filled her in on what to expect from the Tin Man.

“I thought we weren’t getting a new class,” Bucky points out as everyone clears out of the conference room to meet the Quinjet pulling in for a landing in the docking bay.

“It’s not a class, man,” Sam says as he leads the way out of the room and down the hall. “Just one newbie.”

The two pull up the rear of the group in the hangar, and Steve turns around to address everyone one more time.

“Look, it goes without saying, but this new agent could potentially be a vital member of the team.” He sweeps a look across everyone and stops when he reaches Bucky. “Make sure they feel welcome and safe. They’re here alone, so that has to add to whatever anxiety and intimidation they might be feeling.”

“Why are you looking at me?” Bucky scoffs. “Why is he looking at me?”

He and Sam start nudging each other until a red-eyed Wanda whips around and tells them to knock it off.

When the Quinjet finally lands, Steve begins to step forward to greet the newest potential member, but before he can take more than two steps forward, the ramp lowers, and this tiny ball of hair, compact muscle, curves, and pure energy comes bounding out.

The duffle is as big as she is but she flings it over her shoulder with a practiced dexterity and all but runs to Steve with an outstretched arm.

“Welcome to the Avengers compound. I’m Steve—”

“You’re Steve Rogers. Captain America. Captain Rogers.” She laughs and the sounds fills the large hangar for such a small body. “I’m sorry. Do we shake or should I salute?”

Steve tries to calm her down, but the excitement is too much.

“She reminds me of Tic Tac,” Sam mutters as Steve introduces her to everyone, and she either hugs them or tries to hide her squeals.

Bucky sniffs dismissively and leaves before Steve can get her closer to him for an introduction. He doesn’t like fans.

Two weeks later, she’s still here, and apparently, everyone adores her.

She’s already adopted a nickname from the team—Buzz—because she’s always hyper and full of energy.

And everyone was trying to get Bucky to relent on his vetting.

“Just talk to her.”

“She’s great.”

“You two would really get along.”

“She doesn’t even hate you for not talking to her for two weeks!”

The last one was Sam as they were training together in the gym.

“If she’s so great, how come she hasn’t just come to talk to me?” Bucky stops punching the bag and looks at Sam for an answer.

Sam draws back and stares at Bucky like he just asked him some complicated trigonometry problem. “Are you for real? You got a mean mug, and you haven’t said a word to the poor girl. She’s just staying out of your way because she thinks that’s what you want.”

Bucky considers this for a moment and shrugs. “She’s not wrong. I’d love my life more if I didn’t have to put up with you.”

“Mhmm, you remember that when Steve retires for real and you’re stuck with me.” Sam resumes his training but smiles as Bucky wanders off toward the locker room.

“She made that lasagna you ate the hell out of the other night,” Sam hollers after his retreating form. “Just sayin’, man.”

He chuckles as Bucky flips him off over his shoulder with the black metal arm gleaming.

The next morning, Bucky finds her in the kitchen at some hour that borders on ungodly, even for him.

Buzz sends him a nod when she hears him shuffle in and continues to chop the mountain of vegetables in front of her.

“Coffee?” Bucky mutters the question as he grabs the carafe from the machine and begins to set it up.

“Sure.” She sets the knife down and stares at his back as he busies himself. “I know you prefer your space, but I’m—”

“Buzz, right?” Bucky turns and offers, well, not a smile but one side of his mouth is turned up so he doesn’t look like he’s grimacing. “That’s what they call you, right?”

She giggles and shrugs. “Yeah, I never really had a group of friends to give me a nickname before, so I like it.”

Bucky hums in response and pulls two mugs down from the cabinet and leans against the counter. “You making breakfast?”

She stops mid-chop and looks back up. “Oh, no. This is all going in the crockpot for dinner. We’re doing that simulation today, remember?”

Bucky nods as the coffeemaker beeps to signal the end of the brew.

“I could make breakfast though.” She offers a wide, bright smile. “What do you like?”

He pours two cups of coffee. “French toast. How do you take your coffee?”

“Oh, just black, thanks. I could make French toast. Do you think we have enough eggs and bread?” She takes a small sip of the steaming black liquid, and Bucky is disappointed when she doesn’t gag or make a face at how strong it is.

“I’m sure we do.” He plops down on a stool and watches as she continues to chop vegetables and rambles on about the events planned for later in the day.

“You do know that it’s just glorified ‘Capture the Flag’?” Bucky grins as she takes a big gulp of her coffee, but she doesn’t bat an eye.

“I know, but I like the team-building aspect of it.” She drops everything into separate containers for later and cleans up. “So, tell me about you.”

Bucky hems and haws for a few minutes before Steve walks into the kitchen bleary-eyed and groping for the coffee pot.

When he finally manages to pour a cup and take a gulp, he turns and gives Bucky the evil eye.

“You made this poor excuse for jet fuel, didn’t you?” Steve grabs the carafe and pours it down the sink and starts to make a fresh pot. “How many times have I asked you not to make it that strong? It’s disgusting.”

Bucky shrugs and gestures to the other kitchen occupant. “She didn’t have any complaints.”

“You drank that crude oil?”

“It was a little strong, but it was fine.” She shrugs and takes another drink from her mug as if to prove a point. “Sometimes, you just get used to doing something one way that it’s hard to break the habit.”

Bucky and Steve just stare at her as she polishes off her coffee and rinses her cup in the sink.

“I’m going to make French toast for everyone, but I’m going to go change first.” She moves to leave, and then turns back around. “Thanks for the coffee and conversation.”

Two hours later, as everyone is devouring the fried bread and the crispy bacon that Buzz made to go with it, Bucky flips his knife at his side by his thigh. Wanda and Nat are always on him for doing it over the table because that’s where the food was, and they didn’t believe him when he said he cleaned it every day.

Naturally, the only free seat is, of course, directly across from Bucky, and Buzz slips into the chair and grins as he continues to flip the knife in the air.

“How’s the French toast?” Buzz asks with a gesture of her fork toward Bucky’s plate.

He nods and forks up another bite. “Good.”

Halfway through her own plate and as everyone else is starting to clean up, she leans forward slightly and drops her voice.

“Could you teach me how to do that?” Her eyes are fixated on the six and a half-inch blade dancing in his hands. “I can already juggle. Is it any harder than that?”

Bucky bristles a little. “I can’t even juggle, so it might be easier for you.” Her eyes flick up to his—bright, shining, and excited. “If I were interested in teaching you.”

With that, he stands and grabs his plate and passes it off to Sam, who is posted up at the sink.

“You could at least rinse it.” But he’s met with Bucky’s retreating form and his middle finger popping up over his shoulder.

Hours later, Buzz is nowhere to be found. The two giant crockpots are humming on the kitchen counter, and everyone has hit the showers after the simulation and are resting, working, or whatever.

Bucky seems to be the only one who’s restless, and he’s been wandering the floors of the compound. He overheard a conversation between Wanda and Sam about how Buzz seemed out of sorts as the simulation was winding down, and he feels a little guilty.

Not that he should.

They had been the only two left on their team, and her strategy was worthless. She willingly agreed to his tactic, and they had executed a beautiful plan and won the day. If she were upset that they hadn’t used her idea, then she should have fought harder for it.

He continues to amble about and makes his way to the gym. It’s become a place of solace and solitude, depending entirely on his mood.

Bucky knew none of his teammates would be in here after the afternoon of training they’d just endured, but he could handle some more.

The sight of the tiny woman crouched in the middle of a mat, trying to wrap her hand with a bandage, stops him dead in his tracks. He can see the bright red spots on the white cotton and hear the soft whimpers even from thirty feet away.

As he moves swiftly across the room, her head whips up at the smallest sound, and she jumps up and fumbles with her supplies.

“Bucky, what are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing. Did you get hurt this afternoon?” Pulling his hands from his pockets, he takes hers in his own, and when she winces, he deliberately tries to be gentler.

“Not during the simulation, no.” Buzz pulls her hand away and smiles feebly. “I’m fine. Really.”

Skeptically, he looks down into her eyes and smirks. “So fine you need to wrap it up? Look, you don’t want to tell me? That’s fine. But, you’re right-handed, so it’s gonna be harder to do it with the left. Let me help you.”

He pulls her over to a weight bench and pushes her down and straddles the padded seat next to her.

“You didn’t do too badly on the left hand, but I’m gonna fix it, okay?” Bucky turns her right hand over and examines the cuts. Tiny, thin marks, bleeding just enough to be annoying but not enough to warrant stitches or immediate medical care.

“Buzz … what were you doing?” Bucky’s pretty sure he knows the answer but wants to give her a chance.

“I … Look, it’s not like I was doing it to impress you or anything.” She huffs and averts her eyes, looking anywhere and everywhere but at Bucky. “I was trying to teach myself how to juggle a knife.”

She sighs and finally meets his eyes, hers shining with tears and his with mischief.

“Just couldn’t take no for an answer, huh?” He teases as he begins to wrap her right hand, gently but firmly. “I would have taught you. Maybe.”

When he finishes the right and reaches for the left, she asks the one question that’s been plaguing her. “Are you like this with everyone, or do you really just not like me?”

It’s Bucky’s turn to sigh as he unwraps her left hand and pauses to look at her. “It’s hard. We get a lot of people in and out of here. I don’t make friends easily, and sometimes, I …” He trails off, not knowing which words are the right ones.

“Sometimes, it’s easier to just be alone? It’s just easier not to bother?” She ducks her head under his face and sticks out her tongue to make him smile, and he lifts his head.

“Yeah, I guess.” He continues to wrap her hand and sits up straight on the bench. “Everybody here knows about my past and my hang-ups.”

“Why bother letting someone new in?” She takes her hand away and flexes her fingers a few times. “Thanks for this. I’ll be more careful next time.” She stands up and stretches a little. “I’ll wash the cuts later. Do you think they’ll need to be rewrapped?”

Bucky smiles up to her from his seat on the bench. “I’ll take a look at them after dinner.”

She begins to walk away but stops and turns back to smile at him. “You know, sometimes, it’s harder to break the habit than to stick with it.” Buzz shrugs and her smile grows wider. “Maybe it’s time to learn to make better coffee and new friends.”

When she turns to leave again, Bucky starts to laugh. It’s a deep, rumbling belly laugh, and Bucky is gasping and clutching his sides. “I thought you liked my coffee!”

“Oh, gosh, no! It was horrible!” Buzz is now laughing with him and shaking her head. “I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings since you were finally speaking to me.” She blushes a little, and Bucky stands up and throws an arm around her shoulder.

“All right, truce. New coffee, new friends.”

“And teaching your new friend your knife tricks?” Buzz asks from under his bulky form as they walk out of the gym.

“Sure. After dinner.”

Buzz and Bucky soon become fast friends and partners in crime. Where you would find one, the other was sure to be nearby. Often enough, you could find them working together in the gym—Bucky teaching her something new—or in the kitchen where Buzz was using Bucky as a stand-in sous chef.

The most interesting bit of this newfound friendship was the almost ferocious way Buzz defended Bucky.

It seemed like it didn’t matter what the situation might be, but if she felt that Bucky was getting the short end of the stick, she was there to take his side and safeguard her friend. There were times when he would offer up a solution to a problem, and while it wouldn’t be the most popular, it was always the most effective.

“I understand that it’s probably going to cost millions of dollars in damage, but there is zero potential for lives lost. Doesn’t that count for something? Steve, tell Bucky that it counts for something.”

She would plead in team meetings to revisit ideas and plans, only to be shot down along with him. Where his resolve caused him to be gun-shy, she only remained optimistic.

“They’ll realize how right you are,” she’d whisper to him as they sat back in their chairs and continued listening to Steve drone on.

Bucky especially liked that she wanted to come to his aid when the team ganged up on him. Everyone, including Bucky, had assured her that it was just teasing, and it mostly was.

But there was something about her calling him Tin Man and Sam calling him a baked potato that felt different and wrong to her. She looked ridiculous squaring off against almost everyone else on the team as even Wanda and Natasha stood a few inches taller than her.

Sam had been on some kick lately about Bucky having hair perfect for shampoo commercials. It had started pretty innocently actually. Buzz had begged Bucky to let her practice a fishtail braid on him, and he had begrudgingly agreed.

She hadn’t mastered the braid, but she had knotted his hair, and that’s how Sam found them—Buzz on the back of the couch in the entertainment room, and Bucky sitting on the cushion between her legs with her finger combing his dark brown locks and giving him a scalp massage.

“You look weak, Barnes.” Sam is grinning from ear to ear when he comes upon the two of them. If he didn’t know any better, he’d swear they look like a couple enjoying a tender moment alone.

“At least, he’s got a full head of hair, Wilson. I’m pretty sure I saw a patch forming when I had you pinned yesterday.” Buzz cocks an eyebrow at Sam in defiance, but Bucky maneuvers out from under her hands.

Sam throws his hands up to his head. “Girl, don’t you know black don’t crack?” He’s laughing, but Buzz can see his fingers sweeping over his scalp.

She jumps off the couch and pats Sam on the arm. “You might not crack, honey, but you might want to invest in some Rogaine.” When she struts out of the room, Bucky stares after, and Sam gives a low whistle.

“She’s got it bad for you,” Sam states as he takes a seat next to Bucky and snatches up the remote to start his routine of surfing through channels.

“Excuse me?” Bucky doesn’t bother to look at his friend and continues to stare straight ahead.

Sam tosses the remote back onto the coffee table and turns to look at the former assassin turned Avenger.

“Are you blind? I know someone else has pointed it out to you.” Sam stares at Bucky until he finally looks up at him. “Wanda has some strong opinions on the matter.”

“She hasn’t been digging around where she shouldn’t, has she?” Bucky knows he sounds defensive, but that would be a huge invasion of Buzz’s privacy.

Snorting, Sam points a finger in Bucky’s face. “You wanna rethink that? She’s a sweet girl, and you know she’d never do that.”

Bucky throws his hands up in surrender and crosses them over his chest when Sam lowers his finger.

“She’s just a kid,” he mutters and slumps into the cushions.

“She’s not. You know she’s not.” Sam turns back to the TV. “And she’s gonna be an Avenger, so you better figure that out.”

Getting up and beginning to pace, he stops and looks at Sam. “When?”

“I figure soon. She’s lasted the longest with us.” Sam leans forward and clasps his hands together. “You know she’s good. We need her here.”

Neither man says anything for a few minutes until Sam breaks the silence.

“She’s always got your back, on and off the field, as it were.” He leans back and crosses his arms. “She’s a great partner, and I bet that’s true in her personal life too. You could do worse.”

Bucky just stands there for another minute, absorbing everything Sam has said before turning without a word and heading out of the room.

“Of course, she could do way better!” Sam shouts and starts laughing as a middle finger pops around the doorframe and wiggles at him.

Three days later and two sleepless nights on Bucky’s part, Buzz is appointed as the newest Avenger during the morning meeting. It’s with minimal fanfare, but Steve did make an admirable speech about her capabilities, her seemingly flawless ability to blend with the already well-established team, and Buzz’s overall exuberance.

“In the three months that you’ve been with us, you’ve felt like one of us from day one. Each one of us trusts you and would count ourselves lucky to have you on point for any mission we’re on. You’ve got all of our backs, and we’ll proudly stand by you. Welcome, officially, to the team.”

Buzz had blushed as everyone had clapped and congratulated her. She was passed around as plans were made for later in the evening, and it was declared that they would go out into the world and celebrate.

When she landed in front of Bucky and he offered her a smile, she leaped into his arms and hugged him close. “Thank you for everything. Thank you for being my friend.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek and was pulled away before he could respond.

As Natasha pulls her from the room, Buzz peeks over her shoulder, and the blush across her cheeks is evident from across the room. When she locks eyes with Bucky, he feels something in the pit of his stomach and wants her back within his reach.

“Told you, man,” Sam says as he drops an arm over Bucky’s shoulders, and Wanda comes up on the other side.

“Me too.” Wanda leans her head on Bucky’s shoulder and smiles. “She really fits in here, don’t you think?”

He can’t speak, but both Sam and Wanda push him toward the door and cross their fingers that he’ll finally make his move, but Buzz is nowhere to be seen when Bucky reaches the hall.

Later that night after dinner and a few drinks, the group makes its way to a dive bar that Natasha scoped out.

“Look, I know it’s not everyone’s thing, but Buzz loves karaoke, so we’re here,” Natasha scolded everyone as if they were children before they walked inside. “And, no, you don’t have to sing if you don’t want to.”

Buzz is riding on Sam’s back and lets out a whoop as they enter, causing the dozen or so patrons all to look their way.

“It’s my birthday!” Buzz screams from Sam’s back, and the people in the bar cheer good-naturedly, and the bartender comes down to the end where the group is huddled and begins to take their orders.

Bottles of beer, shots of whiskey and vodka, and one very large margarita are distributed, and they all spread out over a couple tables. Steve grabs a songbook, knowing full well that Nat will goad him into singing at some point, so he better start narrowing down his choices.

Two beers later while Wanda and Sam sing a horribly off-key rendition of some song from Grease, Bucky sidles over to Buzz and nudges her gently in the ribs.

“Okay, when you gettin’ up there?” Bucky jerks his chin toward the stage, and Buzz blushes and ducks her head.

“I dunno, Buck.” She sighs and props her head on the table, cheek in hand. “Can I be super honest for a second? I really wanted to just have a quiet night with … well, with you.”

She hiccups, and when Bucky doesn’t respond, she fills the silence. “I thought, well, I thought maybe you would ask … You know what. Never mind. You’re a great friend, Bucky.”

“So are you. Better than Steve sometimes.” Bucky cups her free cheek, and she leans into his hand. “You’ve always got my back.”

“I’ve got a song for you, Bucky Barnes.”

She makes her way up to the booth and fills out a little paper and slips it to the guy running the sound. He nods, and Buzz runs back to the bar and grabs a glass of water from the bartender.

“I think she was hoping I was gonna ask her out,” Bucky says as Steve takes her vacant chair.

“Don’t you want to?”

Her name is called over the speakers, and the group hollers and claps for her as she climbs up on the stage. “Thanks. I’ve had a few tonight, so forgive me.”

A soft, melodic guitar begins to play, and Buzz perches on a stool that’s been left on the tiny stage.

When the night has come

And the land is dark

And the moon is the only light we'll see

No, I won't be afraid, no I won't be afraid

Just as long as you stand, stand by me

So darlin', darlin', stand by me

Oh stand by me

Oh stand

Stand by me, stand by me

Like everything else about her, Buzz’s voice doesn’t match her body—strong and vibrant, just like her. She’s swaying lightly on the stool with her eyes closed, and when she opens them on the chorus, her gaze locks with Bucky, and he feels that same clawing in his stomach from earlier.

He leaves Steve’s side and makes his way closer to the stage and sits at an empty table.

If the sky that we look upon

Should tumble and fall

Or the mountains should crumble to the sea

I won't cry, I won't cry, no I won't shed a tear

Just as long as you stand, stand by me

So darlin', darlin', stand by me,

Oh stand by me

Oh stand now

Stand by me

This woman, who had infiltrated his life within the walls of the compound, had become his friend and his teammate. She was one of the purest and sweetest souls he’d ever had the pleasure to know, and she … liked him? She put up with him, that was for certain, but there had always been something more, hadn’t there?

Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me

Oh stand by me

Oh stand now

Stand by me

As the music fades and the small crowd cheers, Buzz trips over a wire coming off the stage and practically falls into Bucky’s arms. When she looks up at him, tears in her wide eyes and trembling lips, he knows.

“You just want someone to watch your back, huh? Someone to catch you when you fall?” Bucky pulls her out the side exit of the bar, and when she pulls away from him he frowns. “I thought … I thought I understood what you were trying to say.”

He hears the sniffle and sees the tears as they fall down her cheeks and tips her chin up.

“You’ve always been there for me, even when I didn’t deserve it. Will you let me be there for you now?” Bucky’s eyes dance across hers in question.

All the time they’ve spent together, the talks and simple quiet time they’ve enjoyed—cooking and movie nights. Training sessions in the gym and Buzz teaching him to juggle.

There were dark times too. He told her some of his worst memories that still stick with him, and where almost everyone had run, instead, she took his hand and offered support. He’s told her about how he felt like an imposter in his own skin, how he can still hear his own screams mixed with those of the people he was sent after.

Bucky thinks to just last month when Buzz took him out to see a meteor shower because he’d never seen one. He hated it, so isolated out in the forest and vulnerable lying down in the bed of the truck they borrowed. The panic attack crept in slowly, and he didn’t have time to catch it, but Buzz did. She simply took his cool metal hand in her warm flesh one and began pointing out constellations until the stars fell across the sky.

There had been too many times to count when he had pushed and pulled at her. All he needed to do was open his eyes and see that Sam had been right.

Dammit.

She was the perfect partner, and hopefully, she’d give him the chance to prove he could be too.

“I’ll get on that stage and sing for you if I have to.” Bucky cracks a smile, and she lets out a small giggle. “It’ll be terrible, but I would do it for you.”

“As much as I’d love to see that, I don’t think it’s necessary.” Buzz reaches up and wraps her arms around Bucky’s neck and begins to sway with him. “If you listen, someone is playing our song.”

As Bucky wraps his hands around her waist, the dulcet tones of Ben E. King were coming through the jukebox, imploring his own darling to stand by him.

“So, is this our song now?” Bucky says as he sways her gently in the cool night air.

“Yeah, but you better kiss me to seal the deal.” She licks her lips and smiles. “It might not hurt if you called me ‘darling’ once in a while too.”

With a laugh, Bucky cranes his head down to press a kiss to her lips. When Buzz pushes up on her toes to meet him halfway, the feeling that had been clawing at Bucky is finally alleviated. He pulls her close enough to feel her heartbeat in tandem with his own as her tongue pleads for entrance and playfully contends with his own.

When they pull away and gaze into each other’s eyes, they’re interrupted by a smattering of applause.

“You won me fifty bucks, Barnes,” Sam says as Steve rolls his eyes and walks back into the bar. “C’mon back in. This round’s on me.”

With her red face buried in the front of Bucky’s shirt, Buzz tells Sam to go to hell. “We’ll be there in a few minutes,” Bucky tells Sam with a laugh.

Hours later when the minimal touching and stolen kisses just aren’t cutting it, Bucky leans over to Buzz. “You ready to get out of here?”

She nods, and when she moves to stand and wobbles, Bucky throws her over his shoulder and begins to cart her to the door.

The group is laughing and catcalling as Bucky walks them away.

“You two be safe now!” Sam calls just as Bucky is about to push the door open and get the two of them outside. Just before he makes it through the door, Buzz throws up her middle finger to flip off Sam, and then slaps Bucky on his ass as he carries her off into the night.

#Bucky Barnes #bucky fanfic #buckky x oc #bucky fic #bucky fluff #marvel #marvel fic #Avengers #stand by me

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