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11 & 13 for mara
TW: Addiction
click >here< to view the list, pls ask more (▰˘◡˘▰)
okokokok...... so let me just... hehehuhuhe. okay. so. let me start with the heavy hitter.
11. Does Mara have any addictions?
Yes, so let me start with saying.... she hates water, unless it's real water, but until recently, that wasn't a luxury she could afford. Coffee all day, she gets off work switches to beer til bed. So yes, she is a bit of an alcoholic? however, she's able to keep it professional, the only times she ever seemed a little unprofessional is the few times she's gotten a bit to wild at the clubs.
She may or may not have an addiction to SynthCoke? She will deny it, say it's what helps her get up in the morning and ready for her run considering the last few months she's been ran ragged living a double life. The tax of working full time at the clinic Blue Remedies Health Clinic with an influx of patients coming into the area, a rippling affect from the Megabuilding 10's clinic and pharmacy closing, and on the weekends, or shit sometimes during the week, she'd have to go do gigs with NIGHT RAID or mooking around her neighborhood with J I H Z Z Y clearing out Valentinos from her turf ending their harassment in the area. All while trying to duck her best friend and co-owner of the clinic, so he doesnt find out who Panthera really is. (he knew lol). Gotta have something to take the edge off.
And... Well.. Lets be real here, since its you and me anon. The worst addiction Mara has, was one I did not expect. It's one that is ruining her life, it's one that plagues her mind, the one driving her to a fate worse than death. Mara's real addiction is for cyberware. Pushing herself beyond her limits and the pursuit of power is really the true killer here. See.. Mara has promised herself to Maxtac, who want to recruit her for the C-Swat, under certain conditions. However.. If she goes cyberpsycho before her brother is taken out of cryostasis, she will be captured, and chipped against her will. She will have lost all her freedom, I will have lost her until rescued if that was possible? OH MY GODDDDDD, I AM IN LOVE WITH THAT IDEA!!!
It's pretty heart breaking to think that I've already came close to losing Mara, witnessing Jack's death dropped her humanity down to 1 humanity point, I had lost the MAX i could lose from a traumatic event..... If Mara hadn't gone to therapy after installing that borgware. *phew* tysm jihzzybby. he pushed her to go.
13. Does Mara like Poetry?
Yes, she does. I wouldn't say she goes out of her way to read it, but from time to time on her smoke break she might look for something that fits her mood, which lets be real, was pretty moody most the time. Feeling of isolation, though she was surrounded by more people in her life than ever.
TYSM FOR ASKING!!! AAAHHHHHHH!
#ask box#i love being asked things#my oc: mara “panthera” sterling#pls pls pls ask more#i love this#i might not always have a photo for it#but i love this#im too lazy to format this better#tw addiction
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birthday boy 🎂
#river dipping#theodore doe#matthias evanoff#a burning house to live in#echthroi#ts4#ts4 edit#simblr#ts4 screenshots#theo i hope you're having the most insane birthday sex rn i hope it's ******** and ***** and ***'** **** *** **** ***** :)<3#sorry i put off making your birthday edit for so long that i had to pivot and post this edit instead of the one i wanted </3#...very funny how similar this is to that LAST render i posted... well so WHAT!! if i think matthias looming is sexy!!#this is based on a photo that everyone was drawing their ocs as so really it's not MY fault he's back there clinging and being a freak#actually if y'all want this pose lmk... i'll share it but fyi it's only meant to be seen from the waist up and idk how it'd look#on a sim that doesn't have the same muscle mass and like. bulk. that matthias has......................................#just got rock hard after typing that... anyway.#HAPPY BIRTHDAY THEO <333333333 LOVE YOU SO MUCH I PROMISE I'M GONNA KEEP WORKING ON THE //ACTUAL// BIRTHDAY EDIT!! like .#posted abt this on the sideblog but the real edit i have planned for him is making me lose my fucking gourd#and it'll probably take me :))) a few more days to figure out#expect a depressing theo-as-a-teenager edit eventually tho. with writing!! accompanying it!!#matthias's face has changed again btw 😭 i redid it almost immediately after i posted that first render attempt so he looks DIFFERENT!!#i posted screenshots of him in cas just the other day on my other acc and he looks so good in them i might post them here too#oh and!! this edit looks massively different than my last because this screenshot was taken with a new preset i made specifically for#the real birthday edit i'm working on... it's a hallway scene so i figured out depth and density to get this really cool fog effect#i'm really excited for it!! in my head the way it looks makes me crazy but idk if i can pull it off properly. but like i WAS SAYING!!#new preset is sooo sexy after i post this i'll reblog with the before and after to show you how good it looks even w/o any editing#like. the colors....... literally have always wanted a preset like this i'm so glad i spent yesterday fucking around with it#ALSO!! i've been doing those oc/ship dynamic templates for fun recently so i might post a few of them here soon#realize i'm rambling so much in these tags bc i haven't been here in forever kfjnkfjhn ummmmm. let me stop.#EVERYONE WISH THEO HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIGHT NOW 🫵‼
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This day still terrifies me. To my core. With the strange weather that happened before, I expected something to occur. I could have never predicted the magnitude of that event. I assume you're here to wake me up then? You want us to face that evil again? I'm… We're afraid... Of everything. Of everyone. I don't know what I'm supposed to do! WE DON'T WANT TO GO BACK!
#pokemon rejuvenation#aevia#nightmare realm#god i love this scene#it isn't easy to make a teenager with pink hair and overalls look menacing but i did my darndest#ive been art style shopping#trying to find out what resonates#this one is emulated from hiro mashima#i've always liked the way he draws faces#maybe someday ill just be able to sit down and shut my eyes and draw what comes naturally#until then i will drown myself in reference photos#recently i finished another playthrough#i sat down and compiled my notes and i have a lot of different theories but not a lot of concrete revelations#mostly freaking out about the ss oceana. i might scream some of my thoughts into the void soon. ish. maybe. perhaps.#if u read all my notes ily and i hope you have an amazing day <3
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if anyone still cares about the eycte outfit compilation i thought i'd just let you guys know that currently miles appears to have had at least seven pairs of shoes and alex had at least Thirteen.
#sophaerostxt#tlsp#i say currently bc i might still be missing some#alex ily but you are making my life so difficult#miles too honestly why is this guy's shoes always hidden behind speakers 😭😭😭😭 pleasee have mercy....#and even w a clear photo sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between their myriad pairs of shoes#yeah it's been eight months since i started this. im so close to the end i swearrrr(in great pain)
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Apr 11, Xi'an, China
I made a mistake with the dates on the prev two posts, I went to Beilin Museum on the 11th, not the 10th......I think it's because my phone was still stuck in NA time, which would explain why my phone thought those pictures were taken on the 10th.
Anyway, a random doorway in an alley in Xi'an that looks very traditional:
Traditional embroidery painting sold on the street. There were artisans, painters, calligraphers, and seal-crafters selling commissions in stalls. I couldn't think of a cool phrase for a commission, so I didn't spend any money there. This was one of my biggest regrets from this trip lol
Stuff from a souvenir shop, I thought these little monk figurines were cute
Xi'an city scenery, taken right in front of the Xi'an Museum/西安博物院
#2024 china#xi'an#china#just in case: none of these photos have had filters applied#i have like 900 picstures from xi'an alone so there's no way i can get to all of them#PLUS they look nice enough as is#blue skies and all#just in case if anyone's wondering if I fudged with the pics to make them look nicer#the only exception is the food#because the lighting in the restaurants might not always be the best
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modern family is all fun and games until you get to the scenes where you burst into tears because the once-vaguely homophobic dad now refers to his son's husband as family, and also the academically gifted daughter realizes that her dorky, clumsy dad was always really proud of her and just never surprised because he just assumed she could do anything, and also the eldest daughter who eloped comes crawling back to her parents' room and whispers that she still wants her parents to be present for her wedding, and also the anxious queer lawyer character admits that he was terrified that his husband would just leave him alone with their baby daughter, and also that the once-vaguely grouchy dad looks at his stepson and tells him that what makes a family is who sticks around, not who you're blood-related to and anyways what was i saying
#caroline talks#modern family#god. . .. the way i really do love this sitcom. like have all the jokes aged well? ehhh not really#there are some jokes that land pretty badly now but i still do love this show so much and i'm so sad i'm on the final season#it's like. oh yeah. family is complicated! it's rough!#but everyone can change and grow. people can become better. it won't be perfect and it'll suck sometimes#but everyone is trying their goddamn best.#i will say though i burst into tears at hayley coming to claire and phil and going '. . . i was going to elope but i realized#that i really wanted you guys there :('#and god also how i love gloria and jay and claire and phil and mitch and cam's relationships#and like i love the kids but the adult relationships make me cry the hardest#because it's like. when claire explodes on phil bc 'YOU NEVER TAKE MY ADVICE YOU'RE ALWAYS FOLLOWING SOMEONE ELSE'S!!!'#and phil goes up to claire and presents her with this photo album and goes '. . . honey i'm ALWAYS following your advice.'#and when i think about mitch freaking out bc he thinks he might have had another kid and he thinks cam might ditch him for it#and cam is just like '. . .. mitchell i love you.' and is just like. we'll deal with this together.#and it's just like!!! ough!!! ough!!!
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#just a 50s elvis google photos auto made collage#very nice pictured picked from my gallery tho#elvis presley#elvis#50s elvis#elvis the king#i think of elvis and i always thin about that quote “better to burn than to fade away”#this guy lived... truly lived#he might not have done everything there is to do in this world but he had a good life... he lived his way#so many memories...
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Books of 2024: ALWAYS COMING HOME by Ursula K. Le Guin.
The people have Spoken, so I'll be reading this 618-page brick next! The cover page credits the author, an artist, a composer, a geomancer (??), and the author of the intro, so. I suspect I'm in for a Ride���. I am both Excited and Intimidated--will report back on how this goes!
#books#books of 2024#always coming home#ursula k. le guin#book photo#book photography#anyway yeah this counts as Driscoll Adjacent for my writing project needs because ~post apocalyptic community~#the back cover says 'the kesh are a peaceful people who reject governance and the constriction of gender' so like. promising.#also 'maintain a healthy community in which everyone works to contribute to its well-being'#it's a fictional ethnography which is why it's intimidating lol#i read about how she opened this book in one of her other books lol. an essay collection i think#the tenses are wild right off the bat#'the people in this book might be going to have lived a long long time from now in northern california'#like ma'am. please.#i am but a humble little writer working a mind numbing office job. you want me to do WHAT with my brain.#anyway. excited but Intimidated#the book does lay open flat pretty well at the midpoint though that's promising (i've been having wrist in bed issues)#(i've been having wrist in general issues but i usually read lying down in bed)
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cw pet death under the cut
Well, I guess I largely vanished for the past couple of days for some people. We unexpectedly lost two of our ratties, one of which was one I had a close bond with, so that sure knocked me out for a day. I've been taking care of one of our little old ladies, Sammy, and we expected she would leave us fairly soon, but we lost Willow and Abbie within just a couple of days of each other instead. Have some cute photos of baby abbie and willow since they were Very Loved and had happy lives. Baby Abbie! When we saw how tiny she was (stunted growth, runt) and her little broken tail we had to take her home with us... somehow, miraculously, she could still move the whole tail! It's a mystery how it broke in the first place, and no one knew when we got her. We never had it amputated since it wasn't causing her any distress, and it just over time came to look like a little pikachu tail to us. She was my little heart rat and was glued to me near constantly.
all growed up button:
"FOUL TARNISHED...." And baby Willow!!
So cute in her pot pie the incredibly sweet /sadcute photos of her mommy, Bonnie (still with us!) protecting her the day we adopted them. They were adopted together due to their previous owners having to move and not being able to keep them. Bonnie was convinced we were going to steal her baby, so she kept sitting on her like this:
Willow was curious and wanted to make friends faster than Bonnie wanted, but Bonnie warmed up and finally stopped guarding so heavily. Part of her warming up included her adopting me, so uh... rat mom? She treats me like a baby rat. Mom, I'm a full grown Rat, thank you. Willow was ***fascinated*** sitting and watching Resident Evil 4. She sat through the whole game and any time a loud noise would happen she'd ZOOP back into a sleeve...then poke back out, ears perked and whiskers going. She did the same thing last christmas when we opened presents, so RE4 gets called "CHRISTMAS 4" in our house. also to the other ratty keepers out there, don't worry, the little cage is only a nursery/hospital cage and playtime cage, they lived in a giant critter nation with lots of friends. Anyway, I'm a little sad still so I wanted to share some cute photos and celebrate them instead. We're probably going to be looking around at the local breeders to see if anyone has any baby girls ready for adoption.
#photos#rats#cw: death#cw: pet death#cute photos and cute comments under the cut though#since this is to celebrate them#my sweet little ratties#it's part of owning little animals with short lifespans#the joy they give outweighs the pain of losing them to me at least#and I always look forward to getting to spoil a new generation when one generation leaves#we still have bonnie / lei lei / sammy / wednesday / gizmo and coco#we had eight total in our mischief before#so I suppose we might be looking at getting two or more new little ones#depending on what the local area has and if there are already bonded siblings#willow and abbie both named after two of the soli characters#in our house we have a little headcanon that when they leave they go to a little rattie afterlife train station#so we were saying abbie had to go pick willow up at the station
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if scars don't make man look good then being alive sure does
#mafia 2#henry tomasino#frank vinci#there's going to be a lot of text in hashtags here so first of all:#i gave up at things like “they wouldn't do/say that” at this point#ooc and “what if” are more interestning and entertaining for me sorry mafia fandom#i like to spin the plot and characters like a rubik's cube#so stopping w rat!henry and continue with survived!henry who's true purpose was to became the head of falcone family#so the drug thing was just a way to frame falcone and get vinci to the point where he decided to do away with falcone#because of the increased drug traffic#henry always struck me as the most conservative of the (relatively) young mobsters#so i guess he wouldn't have gone on about the drugs and gotten vinci's sympathy because of it#yet henry didn't expect an attack from the triads and the fact that he survived only reinforced his religiosity#now he wears a rosary and prays more often than he used to#<- i'm actually too lazy to think about the details of how it might work so whatever#and I know the mafia chief's photo wasn't on the wall#but it's more symbolism about the change of power and prioritizing religiosity over personality#i just think he could be a good leader + there's a lot about his pride here#and tbh i just wanted to see him with the scars but my brain can't do anything without a plot#and sunglasses instead of an eye patch#and yeah my brain refuses to believe that he was just overconfident and really believed that there would be no repercussions ->#for selling drugs under the nose of falcone who clearly wanted to become a monopoly in this field#also i don't really care that much about henry surviving tbh#i mean his death fits the story well because it's after all a mob story (no matter was he a rat or not)#(i'm being a bit of a hypocrite here bc i refuse to believe that joe is dead)#“survive and take power” version is just interestning for me#but if i put aside all of this ooc#naah he was too pathetic to do this fr#k im too lazy to write anything further#thank you for coming to my ted talk
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one odd thing about going deeper is that I'm no longer satisfied with shallower. and that's, weirdly enough, a net positive. I've self harmed - eh, twice? in the last month. both were well into the criteria that should have got sutures and ignored it; suspect I hit a vein once and was extremely close to muscle, which feels kind of odd. yeah, it's ramped up; yeah, there's a lot of blood and all that kind of stuff. very high risk of infection, potential nerve damage and all that kind of stuff (though I have not got either of them; I scared off an infection that wanted to hang round by chucking quantities of alcohol on it). but at the same time. that's only twice. that's a lot better than previously.
#tw sh#the one from a fortnight ago. which i have told nobody irl about including the person to which i showed the first one. is still thinking#about healing and not really doing it yet. it'll get there. might have to wear a bandage or smth on placement#if we were going into winter i would think there was a serious concern of doing it a bunch more but for now i know i absolutely cannot#because it will be visible.#i mean it already will but im gonna pretend it was from months ago and hopefully deflect questions about just how i got such scars#actually the one that i think approached muscle is surprisingly close to healed and probably going to scar surprisingly little#the other one is simply too fresh still to know how it'll scar#should've taken progress pictures to monitor healing but was too scared others would accidentally see it#didn't want to traumatise folks#honestly was genuinely tempted to take one (1) photo of the more recent one and post on my secret sh tumblr but i talked myself out of that#anyway im fine#personal#puddleglum hours#yesterday dad hugged me and patted my arm and it was LITERALLY directly on top of the fresher one but i was able to Not flinch#fun fact: when you go that deep it is in fact Less painful than a few layers shallower#which i found to my own concern the first time and was freaking out thinking id done something nerve-related#anyway yes i really am fine prommy#fessed up to my doc about self harming anyway#and technically unless muscle is involved it is clinically described as superficial#(fat layer is the one where they will nearly always consider sutures necessary but some shallower will be dependent on how much they gape)#but also because of how much blood there is every time you kinda have to spend longer making sure you're not gonna bleed all over everythin#so that also stops me bc oh it's nearly midnight i cannot devote like two hours or three to making sure i don't wake up in a puddle of bloo#(hyperbole)#anyway in some ways i find this funny. probably should be vaguely concerned. but eh
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Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...
#Definitely not going to be able to stick with it just due to like... being realistic about my energy levels and etc. ESPECIALLY as we#enter the Evil Summer and it becomes hot all the time. But... one can attempt.. at least...#I'm also a very slow writer since I tend to re-read and edit while I write. and only move onto the next section once what I'm writing#seems okay. Which is easy for visual novel type stuff. since ''sections'' of a conversation are more clearly marked (like if you#have a menu option with 5 different dialogue choices. finish the character's response for choice 1 before moving onto 2. etc.)#Especially since when I'm done with a whole quest I always follow it up by playing through it and picking every option and making sure it#actually all works okay and etc. So I am already going to see it all a second time. Then I can go back and reorder a few words or remove#certain sentences that don't sound natural when I read them out loud (I always read it all outloud to myself since it is... just peple#talking.. it should sound like natural dialogue in their voice. etc). But my ''first draft'' is kind of not as first drafty since I pause t#edit a lot as I go along. So it also takes longer probably than it would take other people who I think treat a first draft as more#of a loose guideline or something. AANYWAY...#80F in my bedroom right now again... huzzah... I did end up finishing and recording that sims build video before the heat wave (or is#it really a heat wave if it's just summer..?? lol) came in.. but now... augh.. the editing... plus the costume photos and all else... Much#to do as always.. Often such a long todo list.. a giant scroll hung upon the walls of the evil hermit wizard tower..#Anyhow.. I hope I can finish getting ready for bed early in time to reward myself with a game of tripeaks solitaire whilst I snack on#cheddar cheese and some of those preserved artichokes in a jar. hrgm... I actually have nasturtiums (ultimate best flower) on the#deck again this year but I had to move them all into a corner today because the leaves were getting burnt by the sun lol.. Also am now more#cautiously weaving through social media to ignore all dragon age news. NOT bc of spoilers (I actually love spoilers/literally never play#any game until there's full guides on it I can read to plan my entire playthrough based on knowing exactly what I want to happen lol + mods#and etc.) but just because I'm so busy with my ownprojects I simply do not have the brainspace to dedicate... Yes I love to think#about elves and fictional universe lore. but no.. I pretend I do not see it. Does not exist to me actually. ghgj.. OHH also took som#cool pictures of flowers in the garden section of a store and I wanted to do like.. character designs based on the colors of the flowers o#something. but that might just be another unnecessary project to add to the pile.. I want to commit to the daunting task of dyeing my#hair again some time.. hrm.. this is all of the updates I can think of. As if a bunch of random tags make up for never posting anything for#weeks on end lol.. alas.. too warm to think properly I suppose.. .. I neeeeeed a long lost relative to leave me some million dollar#estate in their will so I can have the resources to move to a colder climate or something ..augh#.. but for now.. I shall toil away in my little wizard tower trying to write 2000 something words a day whilst sweating and such ghbj
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Killian Donnelly and Katie Hall in new production photography from Les Miserables in the West End. [ x ]
#oh potato#oh killian#I am not prepared to acknowledge the other photos in the grouping#even though there is another of him in the msieur le maire outfit#because the valjean javert fight photos always look completely asinine to me#so let us just keep to this#we may not have very much longer to do so#so many novels redacted I might as well make an encyclopedia
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todays an art day so im thinking abt doodling some redesigns for michael ...
#{ im already working on smth but after that. }#{ my design for him has always been based on his silhouette in the mirror + a touch of william but like.#shaking in my funny littol au. }#{ might also work on one for henry. hes still pretty consistent in my head but 🤔 }#{ im thinking doodle sheets and then MAYBE a family photo if i still have spoons }#{ and maybe MAYBE if i get enough art energy out ill work on a comeback announcement }#🎬 || time for bear. (ooc.) || 🎬
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You know how sometimes, you decide one thing, only for the characters to show you the middle finger, and do whatever they want?..
Happened to me. Again. Max (my Antichrist OC) and Crowley decided they want a story where they're together. Which is fine, I actually like the pairing. It seemed strange at first, since in most of my ideas, Crowley's Max's mother, stepmother or uncle, then I realized it's a stupid thing to let stop me, I mean... Max's mother in this would be Michael. Enough said.
Speaking of Ms. Sword of God, she's not happy. Not because Crowley's a demon, she's married to Satan himself (her own twin brother), she doesn't like that Crowley's a "traitor", and has no rank. Luckily, Max puts momma in her place, and Lucifer is supportive of the relationship. Michael will relent eventually, too.
All in all, I guess I'm adding another WIP to my ever-growing hoard. Though, for now, a coherent plot is yet to dawn on me. I mostly imagine random scenes. Some of them are rather funny, like when Nina tells Crowley that yes, his relationship with the woman he loves might indeed be decided by the impression he makes on a bird. Since, Max has a hunting falcon, and Crowley, being a snake, does not feel easy around raptors.
#diary pages#so now has two male love interests and two female#the other male one is michael from legion... who also happens to be her uncle... divine beings will divine being i guess#funny that david played in a movie called politician's husband since that's precisely what crowley would be in this#well and a duke of hell michael refuses to let her daughter marry a rankless demon satan says fine i'll make him a duke#crowley and horus... tolerate each other but they definitely aren't buddies horus is rather mean to the old snake#which amuses michael who gets along perfectly with the bird#luckily max's dog titan is nice to him#as always i don't want to just focus on a love story i want to add drama all sorts of exciting things#hmm maybe i could move the storyline where the angel jahoel stalks max and tries to kill her spouse to “prove himself”#which is no fantasy about two people being into my oc it's a thriller plot a deranged seraph is TERRIFYING and VERY dangerous#yeah i have myriads of story ideas and they are all very vivid and vast and detailed i'm a maladaptive daydreamer ffs#good omens#good omens crowley#maxine frost#ocs#good omens oc#crowley x oc#snakebeast#max will only be with male crowley female crowley would be too weird#good omens fandom#writing journal#fanfiction ideas#i need to draw max her faceclaim is emily rudd sort of but her photos don't fit the vision max wouldn't be caught dead in that hairstyle#crowley x fem!oc#max refuses to ride in the bentley because she hates queen... also because her jaguar might get territorial#michael disapproving is also kind of funny because crowley/michael is one of my ships in other stories also#max x crowley
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Been a lot of big changes, things to plan for, scary things we've been worrying about re: the state of the world as of the last week or so, but
One really good thing has happened within that time:
Next March, we'll be signing the license and likely having a little ceremony at one of the first beaches Housemate ever took me to (bc we're keeping it small and chill; we don't need to pay for a venue lmao)! I'm so happy and excited 💚🧡!!!!!!!
#text and photo post#like. this is something i didn't think I'd get in life#someone i care abt so strongly and would kill and die for#who has patience for all of my baggage and wants to help and see me grow#(and i want to do the same for Housemate of course!)#my life has been so utterly beautifully wonderfully changed by coming out here#but it never would have happened had i not met Housemate on here & clicked so well#and created a strong and gorgeous friendship that's led us here#I'm marrying my best friend and the person i want with me to face anything we might go thru#bc it'll always be easier if we're getting thru it together#this is v sentimental and maybe silly but genuinely i am. the happiest I've been in my entire life#despite Everything ongoing there's this pocket of happiness and contentment and safety#and I'm so grateful for it and for everything i have#anyway my ring got here yesterday and i keep looking at it on my finger and getting all happy and giggly akdnfkgngn#it's a replica of an 18th century poesy ring and it's perfect bc it has little details that are important to me#that also remind me of Housemate#also the poem engraved on the inside is lovely and fits perfectly with everything
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