#i might have doxxed myself a little with this?
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Tonight's cool astronomy thing: Jupiter, Aldebaran, and Mars making a neat little triangle, with the Moon and the Pleiades nearby. Supposedly Uranus was there too, but I still haven't been able to pick it out even with binoculars. But the Pleiades are so pretty and so are the Galilean moons.
#personal#astronomy#i might have doxxed myself a little with this?#but only to people with a very specific skillset and knowledge base#backyard astronomy#pleiades my beloved#galilean moons long time no see
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turns out that getting on higher meds and then fucking. finishing college. will do wonders for you
#bachelor's degree completed... i am like one day from being a college graduate....#DEGREE in literature and writing with a minor in french....#OTHER UPDATES SINCE I HAVE BEEN OFFLINE. in therapy. new jewelry. more normal about venom but honestly#i think that might be just because i haven't been reading any comics. i tried a little but i just need to be posting ab it#i need my archive... the hell am i supposed to do if i want some of these images later.... gotta liveblog it for posterity.........#anyway started watching black sails though. i am enamoured#valentine notes#GOT A POEM ACCEPTED FOR PUBLICATION. THAT'S A BIG ONE#in my school's literary journal in the spring <3 so <3 doxxing myself in the spring to share that with you guys haha <3
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Hi
#✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️not really been posting much art recently tbh ive kinda been veering away from doing fanart the last few months#I saw spiderverse i thought it was really good though i found the pacing was kindof weird. Gwen was literally the deutragonist of that movi#And i see like no fan content of her.. at least in comparison to other characters...😭 brraks my heart#I have prom tomorrow☝️ killing myself#I started listening to that percy jackson podcast. Pretty ok even though they mention h*rry potter like twice per episode... School just go#out for me so ive mostly been spending my time listening to that and playing papas freezeria... Really awesome#Next year is my last year of hs tbh idk what im doing post secondary i think i might go live with my aunt in bc for a tear...ik i dont wann#stay where i live rn#Was abt to dox myself LOL even though id probably be one of three total tumblr users from where i live😭#Life is pretty good atm... Not much to complain abt honestly#Summer is going to cause a major metaphorical stock market crash in my intake of ice coffee drinks which is a little heartbreaking#Honestly this past year has been one of my best..ive made alot of good friends and ive started painting and bouldering... Idk#Lowkey thinking about deleting or retiring this account. I think it does more harm than good to me sometimes
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Steve is most likely to end up in a lavender marriage and Tony's most likely to end up in a “married for tax/immigration/inheritance fraud” reasons.
They meet as married men and pine for each other hardcore and are also trying not to read too much into how their interest seems reciprocated and oh nooooo both Immigration/the IRS and the the Church/in-laws/DADT era army dudes or whatever are snooping around at the same time at each of their marriages and they have to be so good at being married at the people they are married to oh noooooo and they other guy doesn’t know why they are suddenly being iced out and maybe they were just imagining things? maybe it’s for the best with all these eyes around on them…
#not to get too real but i love queer people. we see each other and we save each other#i wish i could talk in depth about this lgbtq history panel i went to tonight without doxxing myself#but basically all of these panelists were older gay ppl & one of them won a very monumental court case in the state#and right after introductions one of the other panelists turned to her and thanked her so profusely for the sacrifices she had made#and the work she did to win that case#and that by achieving that win for herself she paved the way for this other panelist to have her own family recognized legally by the state#i don't know i'm not explaining it well but something about knowing and seeing that gratitude in real time. understanding so viscerally tha#so much of our history has happened within one or two lifetimes. to the point that many of the champions of our current rights are alive#today for us to learn from and listen to and THANK#i met two nb ppl through school last year and have since become very close to them#they are the only two ppl on this planet who use my pronouns the way i want them to be used. they switch it up every time and i love them#a little bit more each time i hear them talk about me. it's magical#my childhood best friend told me he liked boys and girls like a month after we first met each other in the fourth grade#he told me there's a word for that; he's bisexual#i think abt how incredible that was a lot. how brave he was to say that and to own that and how long it might have taken me to figure#out that i was the same had he not said it.#anyway all this to say that yes absolutely i love this#steve and tony meet at a military gala. steve's being recognized for his service and tony and his wife were invited by some higher-up who#imagined he could use the event as a way to cozy up to him and earn some good favor before negotiations start on SI's contract renewal#their eyes meet while steve's up on stage. he hates these things. hates being dragged into the spotlight. he feels naked and bare and#vulnerable every time. trapped in enemy territory with no cover. but he sucks it up he kisses his wife on the cheek and she smiles#big and beautiful; perfect like they've run their lines 1000 times over. like they could recite each other's parts by heart#he makes his way to the podium. breathes deep to center himself before he launches into his thankless thank-yous. steve's a terrible liar#but somehow he's made it this far in his career. he can manage for one more night. except#right as he lifts his eyes to speak he sees him. bright eyes burning into his from a shadowed table in the corner. the brass speaking at hi#on his left and a lovely woman who's bored and unimpressed on his right. and him looking directly back at steve#steve's breath catches and he chokes on air. trips on his lines. forgets himself and loses the beat of the scene#he looks down at his notes and ignores them. raises his face to the light and plays himself to be seen by an audience of one.#anon#signed sealed delivered
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the downside of subscribing to a substack telling me about US trans news: i now know about US trans news
#and i know about one guy who has a real high chance of being elected in my area if he gets past the republican primary#when have we ever not elected a republican? it's all up to who republican voters decide they want to run#serious post#us stuff#would tag this for trans stuff too but I'm hoping this doesn't end up in tags for anything#venting about it in detail would dox me I guess but.#the 'upside' of not having gotten my shit together enough to start hrt or anything: can go back into the closet pretty easily#is it stupid that i'd chose shaving my face and going back into the closet over potentially having to leave my cat?#he's such a sensitive little dude idk if he'd be able to keep food down if I moved him to a totally new environment. he'd be too stressed#not enough money to get a loan for a house and can't rent a place with all the cats so i'd have to just go by myself if i went#they'd be fine here with just mom but. idk man. i guess we'll see what my options end up being#even if we could magically get a house with a really low loan mom wouldn't have a job#and i've found the least miserable job i'm ever going to be qualified for i think. might be stupid to not want to leave it#just so I don't have to go back into retail#but I don't want to leave the job either. not going to find anything better#so I guess I'll stay even if it would be smarter to go#proud to be an american huh? fuck.
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alt*rnative spr*ng br*ak day 1. i need to be on campus in 3.5 hours. i have packed nothing and have done no laundry. i have not prepared for any of the facilitation i need to do today. i am experiencing physical symptoms of anxiety and burnout ♥️
#this is my first time ever doing an in person asb and also my first time being part of the asb planning process and i am soooooo nervous and#unprepared and overwhelmed. and i volunteered myself as the staff member staying at the hotel making sure no one gets into trouble and#responding to crises / emergencies if they arise and i may be assigning more importance / weight to that role than there actually is given T#that they are all college students and i am less than a year removed from being a college student myself. but i am so nervous i want to#redacted. and i am not prepared for the situations that might arise. at all whatsoever. lollllll#purrs#btw unlike the retreat tag or the conferences im name dropping asb bc like every school has them and a lot of schools have spring break this#week. so i am not doxxing myself 😈 (and i didn’t need to tell u that but im doing it lol. aaaaand post)#delete later#also the amount of stress i have been under lately w work is like. actually insane and we are not getting a break (though i should take one#lol) but after this is over i will have my life back a little bit maybe and i hate to say im looking forward to it so much but i am. i just#want to rest and recover. it’s literaly been nonstop since we were abandoned in july (lol) and i feel so crushed by the weight of everything#we’ve been carrying and how much responsibility i have had to take on in my FIRST YEAR!!!!!!!!! and i would’ve gone crazy if i hadn’t takej#on big responsibilities ofc bc of my mental illness <3 but the impostor syndrome + the relentlessness intensifying every single day are just#so so so heavy to carry. and i can feel my mind and body and heart giving out but i have to keep pushing forward
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So today I want to talk about puberty blockers for transgender kids, because despite being cisgender, this is a subject I’m actually well-versed in. Specifically, I want to talk about how far backwards things have gone.
This story starts almost 20 years ago, and it’s kind of long, but I think it’s important to give you the full history. At the time, I was working as an administrative assistant for a pediatric endocrinologist in a red state. Not a deep deep red state like Alabama, we had a little bit of a purple trend, but still very much red. (I don’t want to say the state at the risk of doxxing myself.) And I took a phone call from a woman who said, “My son is transgender. Does your doctor do hormone therapy?”
I said, “Good question! Let me find out.”
I went into the back and found the doctor playing Solitaire on his computer and said, “Do you do hormone therapy for transgender kids?” It had literally never come up before. He had opened his practice there in the early 2000s. This was roughly 2006, and the first time someone asked. Without looking up from his game of Solitaire, the doctor said, “I’ve never done it before, but I know how it works, so sure.”
I got back on the phone and told the mom, who was overjoyed, and scheduled an appointment for her son. He was the first transgender child we treated with puberty blockers. But not, by far, the first child we treated with puberty blockers, period. Because puberty blockers are used very commonly for children with precocious puberty (early-onset puberty). I would say about twenty percent of the kids our doctor treated were for precocious puberty and were on puberty blockers. They have been well studied and are widely used, safe, and effective.
Well. It turned out, the doctor I worked for was the only doctor in the state who was willing to do this. And word spread pretty fast in the tight-knit community of ‘parents of transgender children in a red state’. We started seeing more kids. A better drug came out. We saw some kids who were at the age where they were past puberty, and prescribed them estrogen or testosterone. Our doctor became, I’m fairly sure, a small folk hero to this community.
Insurance coverage was a struggle. I remember copying articles and pages out of the Endocrine Society Manual to submit with prior authorization requests for the medications. Insurance coverage was a struggle for a lot of what we did, though. Growth hormone for kids with severe idiopathic short stature. Insulin pumps, which weren’t as common at the time, and then continuous glucose monitoring, when that came out. Insurance struggles were just part and parcel of the job.
I remember vividly when CVS Caremark, a pharmaceutical management company, changed their criteria and included gender dysphoria as a covered diagnosis for puberty blockers. I thought they had put the option on the questionnaire to trigger an automatic denial. But no - it triggered an approval. Medicaid started to cover it. I got so good at getting approvals with my by then tidy packet of articles and documentation that I actually had people in other states calling me to see what I was submitting (the pharmaceutical rep gave them my number because they wanted more people on their drug, which, shady, but sure. He did ask me if it was okay first).
And here’s the key point of this story:
At no point, during any of this, did it ever even occur to any of us that we might have to worry about whether or not what we were doing was legal.
It just never even came up. It was the medically recommended treatment so we did it. And seeing what’s happening in the UK and certain states in America is both terrifying and genuinely shocking to me, as someone who did this for almost fifteen years, without ever even wondering about the legality of it.
The doctor retired some years ago, at which point there were two other doctors in the state who were willing to prescribe the medications for transgender kids. I truly think that he would still be working if nobody else had been willing to take those kids on as patients. He was, by the way, a white cisgender heterosexual Boomer. I remember when he was introduced to the concept of ‘genderfluid’ because one of our patients on HRT wanted to go off. He said ‘that’s so interesting!’ and immediately went to Google to learn more about it.
I watched these kids transform. I saw them come into the office the first time, sometimes anxious and uncertain, sometimes sullen and angry. I saw them come in the subsequent times, once they were on hormone therapy, how they gradually became happy and confident in themselves. I saw the smiles on their faces when I gave them a gender marker letter for the DMV. I heard them cheer when I called to tell them I’d gotten HRT approved by insurance and we were calling in a prescription. It was honestly amazing and I will always consider the work I did in that red state with those kids to be something I am incredibly proud of. I was honored to be a part of it.
When I see all this transgender backlash, it’s horrifying, because it was well on the way to become standard and accepted treatment. Insurances started to cover it. Other doctors were learning to prescribe it. And now … it’s fucking illegal? Like what the actual fuck. We have gone so far backwards that it makes me want to cry. I don’t know how to stop this slide. But I wrote this so people would understand exactly how steep the slide is.
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i know when people make characters and say they live in new york 99% of the time they mean the city. but in my heart they live in some fuckass suburb on long island. if i had my way the joestars would be living in massapequa or hempstead or some shit
#my source for this is i grew up on long island in that general neck of the woods#and its very funny for me to picture my sillies like#living within ten minutes or where me and my mom and my granddad and my great granddad grew up. like thats so funny#why the fuck would joseph joestar live in WANTAGH#might make some fuckass au where like half of jojos just takes place in new york. jotaro kujo is from merrick or some shit#for thw record. I have not lived there in almost a decade so idgaf about doxxing myself a little. like i didnt even mention the name#of my hometown#but like. idgaf. what are jjba fans on tumblr gonna do with the old address of some loser. Exactly#muffin mumbles
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❝I couldn't help myself! It was just begging for the personal touch!❞
╭・๑ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦��𝐫𝐲︰ʚ Some of NRC student with a Rarity!Reader, part 2.‧₊˚✦
‧₊˚↷ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫(𝐬)┊❝ Leona Kingscholar, Idia Shroud. ❞ ⸜⸜*
↷︰ʚ 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞 ‧₊˚✦ Reader is female and is implied to be Yuu. Once again anon, I'm so so sorry for misreading your request, I think I need to get my eyes checked :') Vil and Lilia are in part 1!
╰・𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬) ‧₊˚꒰ Spoiler for book 6. ɞ‧✦
Leona first thoughts were: great, another Schoenheit.
Was actually annoyed with Rarity!Reader's presence alone.
Once he started to get to know Rarity!Reader better though, he was pleasantly surprised to find out that she was way less annoying than Vil.
Suddenly isn't that cold towards Rarity!Reader anymore.
Wouldn't be that impressed by Rarity!Reader's ability to find gems, that man probably sees gems 24/7 back home.
Would be impressed by Rarity!Reader's skill in telekinesis though. But couldn't be bothered to ask questions or even tips. Just know that he's impressed.
If Rarity!Reader makes him clothes that are specifically for him?? And they are comfortable?? She really is less annoying than Vil.
Would start to appreciate Rarity!Reader more.
Will even support Rarity!Reader's career, though he would never say it out loud. Just know that he's supportive.
Want to open a shop? Sure he's got money to spare anyway. Ah, but don't tell Ruggie, or he'll start complaining and Leona will never hear the end of it.
Will get cocky if Rarity!Reader ever ask him to try on clothes she made for him.
Whenever Rarity!Reader is stressed, Leona would just pull her by her waist and force her to sleep u til she's calmed down. Will be annoyed if she tries to escape.
Likes to annoy Rarity!Reader's cat whenever he can. Which is rarely since well... he's lazy.
When he's not in the mood to mess with the cat though, would probably have a conversation with her. Yes, he understands her. But don't point it out though, he will be annoyed.
"Heh, you're not half bad. Better than that guy from Pomefiore anyway."
Great, another Vil pt. 2, but instead it's "Oh no, another Vil."
There's just something about people who are into fashion that somehow scares Idia for some reason.
Tried his best to stay as far away from Rarity!Reader as possible.
Until after his overblot where he learned that hey, Rarity!Reader much nicer and way less strict than Vil!
Immediate relief. But getting this introverted otaku to open up is quite hard, especially when he panics every times he sees Rarity!Reader.
But with a little help from Ortho, and the magic of cats, he finally opened up. All thanks to Rarity!Reader's cat... and Grim. Idia doens't regret anything, he hopes.
Whenever Rarity!Reader would offer him any kind of clothing to try, his hair will start turning pink at the tips.
And if Rarity!Reader would even make him clothes specifically made for him, that are inspired by his favorite game/anime character, his hair will go bright pink and he might even fate if it were not for Ortho.
Won't be much help if Rarity!Reader ever wanted to open her own shop, the least he could do is help with the security... and maybe actually be there in person on opening day, maybe.
Will leave as soon as the store is actually opened and people start coming in though.
The only time you actually see him will be when the store closes. Only then will he actually try to congratulate Rarity!Reader, the chance of him actually succeeding in congratulating her will depend on how flustered he gets though.
Ortho might need to speak in his stead, much to Idia's dismay. At least his tired.
At least Rarity!Reader shop will have great security all thanks to Idia.
Probably will dox whoever tries to spread false information about Rarity!Reader and her designs etc...
"Y-you what me to try this on?! N-no way! Huh? It was made specifically for me...? Then... I guess I could. But don't expect for it too actually look good on me!"
꒰ ◁ ꒱┊❝Back to Leona, Idia's Masterlist❞
#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twst yuu#leona kingscholar#idia shroud#twst x reader#twst x yuu#leona x reader#leona x yuu#idia x reader#idia x yuu#headcanon
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Dating Kate Martin Headcannons!
little head cannon post bc i have so little written for kate! sorry i haven’t been active ive just been so busy but im otw to the lizzy mcalpine concert sorry just doxxed myself maybe?? idk but yay so fun but yeah im not busy after tn like no plans whatsoever 🥳
- kate definitely fell first
- i don’t think she’d be like ACTIVELY looking for a partner i think she just saw you and was like “yep i want that one” but was too scared to actually pursue you
- caitlin definitely had to hype her up to ask you out on a first date
- your guys’ first date is definitely something cozy and personable like a little coffee shop or cafe. even though it’s simple, kate would be so nervous. you guys spend the time together getting to know each other and for your second date you invite her over to your apartment that evening to watch a movie and have dinner
- she definitely kisses you on the second date bc she’s such a uhaul and already knows you’re gonna be special to her
- her love languages are definitely physical touch and quality time, and words of affirmation too!!
- she loves having full on cuddle sessions with you in the mornings, before bed, even in the middle of the afternoon when you guys have a spare moment to kill. she’s the self proclaimed queen of cuddles and always tries to scoop you up into her lap whenever she gets the chance.
- kate always wants to be touching you, no matter where you are. even in public, she’ll be hugging you from behind or holding your hand. her teammates have definitely had to tell her to cool it with the pda once or twice because she’s so enticed by you she totally forgets about everyone else around you two.
- kate’s always making time for you. even if you guys are just studying for your classes in silence or she meets up with you to walk you to your lecture, she enjoys it because it’s with you.
- she wants you to come to all of her games. one time you missed one of her away games due to a family get together and she was really upset by it. she wasn’t mad at you or anything, but she was definitely pouting about how much she missed you.
- kate is such a sweetheart to you. if you’re feeling down about yourself, best believe she will be able to tell!! she writes sweet sayings and positive affirmations on little sticky notes and puts them up on your refrigerator and bathroom mirror for you to look at.
- she loves taking care of you, to her you’re her little baby. if you’ve had a tough week, she’ll lay down with you to take a nap and after you fall asleep she’ll get up and tidy your room up a bit. you wake up feeling so grateful for her but she assures you that she’s just a neat freak and it was her pleasure to
- she’s a super patient, and i think she’d definitely find that attractive in you so i don’t think you guys would have too many fights.
- most of your fights are probably driven by jealousy on either side. kate loves you so much and she sometimes gets paranoid your eyes will wander somewhere else. you love kate just as much, and all of the fans writing flirty comments to her definitely makes you insecure from time to time.
- when you fight, you and kate never yell at each other. you’re more passionate, while she’s more calm and collected so you might shed a few tears trying to prove a point. once she sees that you’re crying, though, it’s game over and she squashes the entire thing and rushes over to hold you in her arms. she hates seeing you upset, and she hates even more that it’s partly because of her.
- kate definitely loves attention and gets annoyed/slightly jealous when you talk to her teammates over her
- “i just don’t understand why you were talking to caitlin for SO LONG y/n. do you think she’s cooler than me?” and she shows her little puppy dog eyes and pouts her lip at you and you almost fall for it
- nicknames: for kate, you definitely call her love, lovebug, baby, sweet little names like that. kate calls you baby, princess and have you guys seen her tattoo that says sunshine? she would definitely call you her sunshine too (i have a fic idea for this so lmk if you want me to write itttt)
#wlw post#iowa wbb#kate martin x reader#kate martin#lv aces#iowa hawkeyes#wbb x reader#wcbb x reader
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Do anti-trans crusaders like JK Rowling realize they are endangering lots of cis women with their hate? I get that they don't care about trans women's safety or wellbeing, but what about all the not-so-feminine-looking cis women out there who are now becoming the targets of transphobic attacks? The butch lesbians, the tomboys, the women with PCOS, the tall women, the muscular women, the short-haired women, the post-menopausal women who can't afford regular salon visits and injectables and cosmetic surgeries to keep them looking sufficiently "feminine" after their oestrogen dries up, the women who've had double mastectomies without reconstruction, the plain old 'ugly' women? What about them? They are all now being 'accused' of being trans online and getting doxxed and kicked out of women's bathrooms and secretly filmed in gyms and beaten in the streets in transphobic attacks. Does JK Rowling not care about them? Or are they all just collateral damage in the crusade? Should they all just make more of a damned effort? What? How should all the 'unacceptable' cis women out there protect themselves from the new wave of hate people like JK Rowling have stoked against them?
Would JK Rowling be willing to get her vag out and take a DNA test to 'prove' she's actually really truly a fully female woman? Would she object to that, I wonder?
(Not even going to start on the fact that she's also endangering intersex people and 'insufficiently masculine' men.)
I've found myself worrying lately about using public toilets. I'm a taller-than-average not-pretty cis woman who never wears make-up or jewellery or perfume or dresses. I now worry a little about not appearing 'feminine' enough in public, that I might be mistaken for a trans person and subjected to hate or violence. Is that really the world JK Rowling wants?
Anyway. She seems horrible and I'm glad I got rid of all her books. What a stupid hill she has chosen to die on.
Honestly, I think her and her ilk are so blinded by their all encompassing, frothing hatred and paranoia that they really *don't* care at all about women, any women. Like all extremists, their so-called *concern* is really a cover for their abhorrent behaviour.
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Obvious Disclaimer that this is not about any specific anon in particular, not about OTNF themself, but that my following rant might *slightly* punch down on people who ARE, well, older than net fics are.
But my honest opinion is that I really don’t like it when us old heads tend to sorta…talk down to? “Adultsplain”, if that’s even a thing? To The Gen Zs, by being like “damn kids! back in my day we never used our real name or posted selfies or posted about our personal life at all!” Don’t get me wrong, I’m one of those people who never posted the real me — but not because I was anonymous and cared about online safety, because I was a liar 😂 That being said, there ARE older people who definitely over-shared or “doxxed” themselves and still do, and there’s younger people who don’t!
I also feel like being “ha, these stupid KIDS who post about their FANDOM LIFE on TIK TOCK under their REAL NAME AND FACE where IRLS CAN SEE THEM, how STUPID” is not doing anyone any favors. Is that, technically, a smart thing for kids to do? No. Has it become normalized? Yes. And does that suck for people who might be bullied or outed or whatever cuz they genuinely are dumb and don’t know better and then someone they don’t like sees their stuff? Yes.
We all talk about how there’s no more kids spaces on the internet and how that’s a shame, but then five seconds later we’ll reblog that one “At any time I’m at risk of seeing a 14 year olds opinion and that’s why I hate it here” post. There’s really so few kid spaces on the net now, that’s true. We should extend empathy and let the teens be obnoxious and pretentious in peace, rather than making it a point to “ratio” or “roast them.” Idk personally I’d be completely unbothered if some 14 year old insulted my fic or my ship or whatever. I’d just block and move on, no need to try to argue with them.
And also, not all kids are even pretentious or obnoxious! I’m not saying we all need to take the kids under our wings, but we should be careful about not hating them just for being in their teens years, you know?
Also… telling a teenager to not post PII or not get into discourse or not have social media or whatever will NOT work the way you want it to 😭 kids are by default a little bit oppositionally defiant so telling some rando teen to Get Off Your Lawn (blog) rather than just blocking them, will encourage said teen to Stay On Your Lawn.
I just hate how it’s become normal for adults to talk down to teens online. I was harassed by adults online as a kid, then years and years and years later i went through my own “Older Than You™️”phase where I myself was a shit to teenagers, and I truly regret that so much. To this day I still need to make an effort to be careful. I saw on Twitter where an adult posted a DM from a 13 year old, mocking them. The DM said “I’m 14 next year, can I follow you? Please don’t groom me.” And the adult OP was laughing at how stupid the dm was. A few years ago, I would’ve been one of the people retweeting that and rolling my eyes at the child. Now im disgusted by the people who WERE laughing at them.
And again I’m obviously not saying we should be “nice” to the teenagers who mock us for our ships or who virtue signal too hard. But we also don’t need to make fun of their CARRDS or call them Puri-teens or rag on them just for being 17 or younger, yk?
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Teens aren't 'puriteens' just for being young, dude. They have to also be puritanical bullies.
I find the stuff about real names hilarious because, actually, if you're really Internet Old™, then you probably did use your real name... it was right there in your university e-mail address! Or your random early ISP address if your stepdad got it for you and thought the university format was the default. Thanks, stepdad.
I've done every single dumb thing from going to meet my internet pen pal at an Alice Cooper concert to flying to Ireland from Japan to stay with a fandom friend I'd never met without telling anyone where I was going and without a credit card or enough cash to flee if I had to. I remember sitting on the plane thinking "Man, this is such a CSI episode topic".
The really funny part was that despite what she'd said before I visited, we ran into each of her parents at different times and ended up going to a play courtesy of her uncle, and all of them were like "So how do you know each other?" and "But you'd met before, right? RIGHT?!"
The level of panopticon is horrifying now. Teens have my sympathy. That part really is worse, and I think it's driving an entire generation nuts and we're going to see even more shit about people wanting to run away and live in a cabin in the woods with no internet. But in general, I don't think we're so different.
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Last year, during an atmospheric river (fuck ton of rain) I was sitting inside and I got this really weird feeling- a YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW feeling. So I left my house (generally a bad idea in a storm like this), and waded out onto my road. It was pouring and really windy, but my road was only like, half a foot deep under water so I wasn’t too worried about the flooding yet. I turned back to look at my house and right at that second as I skillfully dodged flying branches, I watched a tree jump into the air, do a little spin, and then fall on my house.
It was a crazy sixth sense feeling- like I had no good reason to leave the safety of my house during the start a goddamn flash flood, but for some reason I felt very strongly that I needed to get out of there.
(For the sake of not doxxing myself I won’t show my house, but have some very cropped and blurry photos bc I want to prove that I’m telling the truth lmao)
(The last one is a photo of the very tip of the tree sticking out of my roof lol, these photos were taken after the flooding had all gone)
Anyways, I was home alone, so I splish-sploshed my way to my friends house and chilled there. Then I panicked bc I didn’t know where my cat was, so me and my friend went back outside and got to my house (at that point we might as well have been swimming lol). We found my cat hiding in the basement thankfully, so we left again, but on our way back we ended up trying to help our neighbour because her house was flooding. So we were standing in almost waist deep water, armed with rakes trying to unclog her storm drain. That was a crazy day lol
#I just got reminded of this story because#There is currently an atmospheric river#And my road is flooding again lol#But yeah I just wanted to share the crazy sixth sense moment#Because it’s still wild to me#I had no reason to feel so unsafe in my house#I was a lot safer in there than outside#But my gut was like#GET TF OUT RIGHT NOW#so I did#Idk man it was so bizzare
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Lunar's mental health. An update.
TW: bad mental health, EDs, depression, s/h, personal stuff, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, vent, self hate, heavy topics.
Sorry I haven't been posting!!
An update on me.
...Hi, you might know me as Lunar, or, TheLunarSystemWrites! I'm just an artist on here, trying to do things I like.... right?
Well, unfortunately, real life doesn't really... care. It doesn't care if I have friends to talk to, art to make, things I like to do.
I've been exhausted, physically and mentally. I've been busy working a lot in our home. (Painting, building, packing, inside work, cooking, etc) and it's always stressful... we're starting to get a little tight on money.
I've spent majority of my time in my bed. I don't wanna face my family members, so I've hidden away. It's hard to get up every day, and try to find the will to take care of myself.
I also recently relapsed with Bulimia, a disorder that, essentially means I throw up whatever I eat. I've been purging since September 16th, 2022. But I had awhile where I only purged once a day or none, but I'm back at it with full force. So my body doesn't have any energy left. I've also now lost my periods do to it.
I don't sleep well. It's much easier to stay up all night than waste my only free time sleeping. So I have no energy from sleeping well unless I sleep a whole day away, which makes me groggy.
Self harm is also something bothering me too, I'm too tired to do it and yet I keep doing it. Wasting precious spoons on it, I literally can't be clean for a whole year this year, that dream is dead. But, I am a few days clean as I type!
Suicidal and intrusive thoughts have been.... pesky. But I can't just leave my friends, plus I have prizes to make.
But, I'm unmotivated. I can't seem to write or draw anything. All my art is looking... regressed, to me. Everything is repetitive.
I've hated myself now more than ever in my life, I'm in a pretty bad place and I hate how self aware I am.
SPEAKING of regression! I have like, regression block. My brain isn't working with me, isn't regressing unless Involuntary. So my main coping mechanism is.... out of order.
I've been angry at the world, really pissy and moody. Tired, hungry, sad, then happy but not much. Numbness is a huge factor, I'm feeling depressed.
Not to mention, there's drama everywhere I look. This creator gets bullied, that one turns out to be disgusting. People get doxxed over opinions... it's constantly anxiety that I'll be wrongly accused, ridiculed, or abandoned. It's terrifying that people will go at each other's throats. It's exhausting to deal with it and be dragged into drama with problematic people.
Every day has been the same for me for the past 3 years. I'm tired, bored, understimulation controls me.
My friends are my lifeline right now.
I feel uncomfortable in my own body all the time, unsatisfied with my art, everything is essentially falling apart in my life.
Depression, anxiety... not a good mix to wake up disoriented and anxious, then gave zero spoons throughout the day. I'm not in a good home situation right now.
So... I kinda just... haven't been posting, role-playing, answering DMs, answering asks, etc...
I'm burnt out.
I feel like I'm a walking corpse.
Useless even.
I don't feel like myself anymore, I barely have the energy to talk to friends, every little bad things sets me back. I just can't bring myself to really engage much anymore.
So... sorry. I'm sorry, if I wasted your time. Or if this isn't like what you wanted to hear. I'm just not okay anymore, April was the last good month I had this year. APRIL.
I just wanted to update you all, there's a lot of other stuff I didn't share because it's nit important. I swear I'll get to the prizes eventually, I just ain't up to it right now. Might not be for awhile, apologies in advance!!
Hope you guys can understand, I might or might not be back to doing art, who knows. But I'll definitely get things done before that if I ever stopped. It just doesn't bring me joy, I used to hope I'd make an AU people cares about, and I've barely achieved that ^^"
Hope you're all well!! Stay safe, take care!! Remember to hydrate and to try eating if you can, you're spectacular!!!
Daily clicks!! ^^
Previous pinned post.
#tw selfhate#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#tw depression#tw depressive#tw depressing shit#tw sui talk#tw ed implied#tw ed discussion#tw ed not ed sheeren#tw eating issues#tw mental health#tw mental illness#Tw vent#tw sh related#tw sh in tags#tw anxiety#vent post#tw personal#update post#Intro post#blog info#pinned post#pinned intro#Important
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hello! feel free to answer this privately if you want, or not answer at all, but i wanted to ask how you balance your anonymity on tumblr while working in politics/communications. like, do you ever get scared of your employers finding your blog? anyways i hope you have a wonderful day 🙏
yeah--it is a big concern. and yeah--i do worry about it a lot. i try to manage it by keeping any personal social media accounts i have under my real name very separate from my tumblr stuff. i don't really post on the accounts under my real name a lot, and don't post anything about politics there basically. conversely on here i try to remain as nonspecific as i can so i dont dox myself.
and it's like, yeah-- I could easily just like not talk about politics on tumblr and mitigate all risk whatsoever. because the big thing about actually working in politics that i don't know that the average person understands is that unless you're a freelance commentator, you're...not really supposed to talk about politics online unless its in support of your "team."
however, i think my thought process is that i do have some specific and detailed knowledge about the american political system and process that might help those i know find a little more clarity on what's going on-- because it is frustrating and confusing and terrifying and despite what some people might say, the answer to all the problems is not burning the city down. if i can help just a few people understand how to try to use this deeply flawed system to start to make things better and not just give up as the world seemingly gets worse every day, i think that's important. i've heard having any positive take nowadays or wanting to craft solutions instead of revolutions be called hopeless naivety. I just call it hope. We aren't going to be the first generation in history to solve all the world's problems. The goal is to try enough new things and not fail in the same way others have before so that people going forward can better know what doesn't work and start getting things right.
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Okay, regarding the last post/ask, there's a part of me that worries for internet safety in recent times, because it's very easy to become a victim of hacking, doxxing, or in more extreme cases, actual harm (grooming, stalking, etc.).
Not to age myself (and others) but there was a time in school where teachers would show us videos and presentations of the dangers of lacking online literacy/safety. Net safety videos were a stable of my childhood and many others, and most of those videos discussed the following:
Do not post personal information about yourself online
Do not interact with people you don't know
Do not meet people you met online in real life
The effects of cyberbullying
Those were the basic stuff. There was a lot more to take away from them
And those videos were scary. That was the point of them. I think about them less now, but it stuck. Because it can happen. And it has happened.
That's why I'm worried and a little taken aback about the lack of understanding of safety and knowledge of the current internet user base. I know that kids and teenagers use the internet, it's nothing new at all. But they're not being taught how to be safe or use common sense!
At least not in a way that I'm aware of.
If they are being taught, it's either not taught well or it's not being retained. Either way, it's clear that it's not being implemented.
And yeah most of those rules above are broken almost immediately, because we as people have gotten too comfortable with posting and sharing our intimate lives publicly. Our ages, our genders, our dating status, our home state. I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't acknowledge that, yeah, I also have some of that info in my bios!
However, some make the mistake of including very sensitive information such as their state, town, school, and worst of all their face!
Even if you don't do it intentionally, whether your posting on tiktok or whatever, if you have your state flag in the background of a video with your school logo just barely showing, someone with enough time and effort will figure out where you are. It's been shown in not only those tiktoks doxxing people but in those old net safety videos, too!
If this is scaring you, that's the point. That's what those net safety videos did. And sure, you'll forget about the rules and get comfortable with providing that info... I know most of us have, but it's up to you to keep yourself safe as much as possible.
With the state of the internet now, it's imperative to have an understanding of what the dangers are. Especially with ai in the mix. That's why I'm hesitant to even post my selfies anymore (Fuck Instagram for their ai scraping feature). It's because of what people might do. It's anxiety inducing. And that's why I'm making it a point to just be mindful as to what you do when you're online.
Don't join spaces that might have people that may take advantage of your naivety (I'm talking to kids and teenagers). If you find yourself in a space with someone or a group that makes you uncomfortable, leave. If they threaten or coax you to stay, follow your gut instinct and leave. Do not communicate with anyone who makes you uncomfortable. If it feels to be too much, tell a trusted friend or adult who can help you get out of the situation.
Don't post your current location. Don't post your school or work. Don't post your face if you can help it. Don't click on random links from people you don't know, even if they're offering free robux or nitro. It's a scam!
And before anyone makes a comment demeaning those for not knowing these scams or basic net safety, get over yourself. People who don't know either were never taught to look out for those things or never encountered such things.
People of all ages fall for scams regardless of what it is, kids to old people who aren't tech savvy. It's in our interest to teach people these things so that they can protect themselves. It doesn't make us better for knowing something and then shaming others for not.
Just be safe out there.
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