#i might figure out an even better way to articulate this in future

[e-b-reads]

I knew I would have an opinion on this and I have finally formed one, now that the week is up! So here is my thought: I think pretty much every book can teach the reader by giving them a chance to consider someone else's perspective. There are other things that can be taught but aren't always, but I think this one is pretty consistent.

To go into detail: my knee jerk answer to this question was "yes!" but then I started to consider some of the kind of fluffy cozy mysteries I read in the past year, and whether they have any sort of lesson, or are just fun to read. But even if my main purpose in reading these is to pass the time with something mostly mindless, I'm still learning about characters with different experiences and a different view of the world from myself. Sure, some of those experiences might be "keeps having people around them murdered for some reason," but others are "lives in this place w/ a unique culture" or "has to deal w/ this combination of family members that I don't have." And the same is true of other mostly mindless reading people do - there are still new perspectives to learn, even if the book doesn't have a larger moral or intellectual lesson.

The last thing I have to say about this is: because every book can teach this, it's something authors should be aware of and careful about. The worst-written books, with poor characterization, really just end up giving you the author's view of things, so readers are still learning, but they're learning things like, e.g., "oh, the guy who wrote this doesn't really value women beyond their looks." On the flip side, it can be really powerful! It's one of the reasons people call for diversity in fiction: the more we read about people who don't look like us and think about their perspectives (and the things that we do share), the more we'll value them.

Weekly Bookish Question #326 (February 26th - March 4th)

Do you feel like every book can and should teach something? Why (not)?

[miss-hyoko]

Um, can i have a gado-gado of Malleus, Vil, and Floyd with an S/O who is suffering from Alexithymia?

I would love to see these three's ways of handling this S/O! GN reader please!

"My sincerest apologies for the delay, valued customer. Here is your much-awaited order—a delightful serving of [Embracing Emotions] gado-gado. We hope its flavors tantalize your taste buds and bring you utmost satisfaction. Bon appétit!"

Embracing Emotions

Character(s): Floyd, Vil, and Malleus

Summary: His S/O had Alexithymia

Tag(s) and warning(s): GN!Reader, fluff, romantic, established relationship, doting boyfriend

Note: This request took quite a while to finish because I need to do some research about Alexithymia first. Hopefully, I did them justice in this. If there's anything wrong, please feel free to point them out 🙌

1. Floyd Leech

Floyd's interest in you started in a rather peculiar way. It was one of those days when he was feeling particularly grumpy, and in his foul mood, you accidentally bumped into him. Irritated, Floyd decided to give you a little scare by squeezing you. To his surprise, instead of screaming in fear or struggling to free yourself, you simply stared at him, dumbfounded and unsure of what to do. Your unexpected response intrigued Floyd, so he started relentlessly pestering you. Looking back now, maybe it was 'Love at First Squeeze'.

As Floyd's relationship with you progressed further, he started noticing something in your way of communication that he hadn't paid much attention to before. Whenever someone asked for your opinion, you seemed to falter, struggling to find the right words to express yourself. Even when you did respond, your responses often came across as general or vague, leaving Floyd with a sense that you had difficulty expressing your feelings.

True to his straightforward nature, Floyd wasted no time addressing the communication struggles he observed in your relationship. When he learned about your Alexithymia, everything finally clicked into place. While it did initially surprise him, Floyd wasn't bothered by your condition in the slightest since he can understand you quite well. However, if you wish to improve your condition, perhaps you can consider seeking Azul's help? ... Just kidding! Floyd wouldn't mind wracking his brain to figure out a way for you.

When Floyd's with you, he becomes more talkative and loves asking about your feelings whenever you're doing something together. In case you're uncertain about how to respond, Floyd will give you a variety of word options to help you describe how you feel, helping you navigate the complexities of expressing your feelings.

Floyd: *squeezing you* "Guppy~ What do you feel when I do this to you?"

His S/O: "I... I don't know."

Floyd: "Wrongg~ Try again, Guppy. What do you feel if I'm squeezing you like this?" *squeezing you tighter* "Do you feel unhappy, scared, surprised, or maybe happy?"

His S/O: "I..."

Whenever you expressed a specific feeling, he would eagerly ask you to recall and describe the physical and mental sensations associated with it. Floyd thinks that by remembering and articulating the feelings you experienced, it can be used as references to help you better identify and communicate your emotions in the future.

2. Vil Schoenheit

Vil was initially drawn to you because you had this kind of aloof aura surrounding you, creating an air of mystery and making you seem unapproachable. But, as he got to know you better, Vil realized that your aloofness wasn't intentional but rather a result of your struggle to express your emotions verbally. This led Vil to speculate that you might have Alexithymia.

At the beginning, Vil found your emotional detachment and difficulty in expressing emotions frustrating. He struggled to comprehend why you couldn't verbalize your feelings like others could. However, upon entering a relationship with you, Vil realized the need to shift his perspective. He took the initiative to research and learn more about Alexithymia by seeking articles, books, and personal accounts to deepen his understanding of your condition. Through this newfound knowledge, Vil gradually adapted his mindset and approach, becoming more patient, empathetic, and supportive

Known for his sharp tongue and sarcastic remark, Vil's way of speaking leaves an impression on those who encounter him. Yet, when he engages in conversation with you, Vil speaks with unparalleled patience that surprises those who witness it. It's as if he channels all of his patience and understanding exclusively for you. Vil understands the importance of clear and honest communication between the two of you, so he chooses to speak bluntly and directly, without any codes or sarcasm that could potentially misinterpret the meaning of his words.

Vil consistently encourages you to work on enhancing your ability to identify and express your emotions. When he's not busy, he'll invite you to watch movies together to aid your emotional understanding. During these movie sessions, Vil attentively guides you through the film by highlighting every emotion portrayed by the actors. He will tell you the emotion's name, the reasons behind its occurrence, how it is expressed, the accompanying experiences, and much more.

Vil: "The girl is disappointed because she got a poor grade on the test and has to take extra classes during the vacation."

His S/O: "Disappointed?"

Vil: "That's right, potato. Disappointed. It's the feeling you experience when something doesn't go according to what you wanted. You know, like when you had plans to go out but suddenly there's a storm. You would feel lost, wouldn't you? That's called disappointment."

When it comes to grappling with your emotions, Vil is a reliable source of guidance since he's an experienced actor well-versed in a wide array of emotions. He can suggest you various strategies you can try to help you navigate through your feelings, such as engaging in open discussions with trusted individuals, writing down what you feel on paper, or perhaps immersing yourself in music that resonates with your emotions.

3. Malleus Draconia

From the very beginning, Malleus already sensed that there was something unusual about you. Your seemingly apathetic demeanor and rare displays of emotions piqued his curiosity. Malleus assumed you were simply incredibly calm and collected, so he kept his observations to himself, choosing not to prod further. It wasn't until you both became a couple that you opened up to Malleus about your Alexithymia, leading him to finally understand the reasons behind your actions all this time.

Understanding the impact that Alexithymia can have on your interactions and personal life, Malleus becomes deeply concerned about how society might treat you for being different. With firsthand knowledge of the pain of being treated differently, he empathizes with your potential struggles and is determined to shield you from similar treatment. To ensure your well-being and happiness, Malleus spares no effort to help you understand your emotions, going as far as seeking guidance from Lilia.

Malleus is an incredibly supportive boyfriend. He actively encourages you to share as much as you can about your Alexithymia, attentively listening to every detail so he can help you cope with your condition. If you ever expressed a desire to explore methods that could improve your communication skill or expand your emotional range, Malleus would be more than willing to assist you in exploring the complexities of emotions. However, he also respects your boundaries and never pushes you beyond what you're comfortable with, allowing you to progress at your own pace.

Following Lilia's advice, Malleus begins closely observing your facial expressions and body language to determine the emotions you might be feeling. If you find yourself overwhelmed by intense emotions that you struggle to comprehend, he won't immediately validate your feelings. Instead, he gently shares his perception of the emotion he believes you might be experiencing to help you clarify your emotions and work through them.

Malleus: "The final exams are just a week away. Have you prepared yourself well, beloved?"

His S/O: "In the past few days, I've been preparing by reviewing the previous lessons."

Malleus: "That is good. But why do you still look anxious?"

His S/O: "No, I don't feel anxious. That word is a bit too much for..." *pauses to think for a moment* "Rather than anxious, I think I'm just nervous..."

Malleus: *smiling softly* "Is that so?"

This fae prince CAN and WON'T hesitate to go the extra mile to create a special notebook specifically for you. Inside this personalized notebook, he compiles an extensive list of various emotions, complete with the characteristics people feel when experiencing them and numerous example situations that might evoke these emotions. Additionally, Malleus even goes as far as filling the notebook with simple illustrations that he drew himself just to make sure the process of identifying emotions is easier for you.

[nellie-elizabeth]

The Legend of Vox Machina: Hell to Pay (3x04)

Another great episode, turns out!

Cons:

This is going to be a bit difficult to articulate but it almost felt like we were missing a narrative beat somewhere before Pike and Zerxus began their card game. We know that there's a vestige, we know that the vestige is supposed to be instrumental in defeating Thordak, we know the stakes are high to get it... but it's also just a mostly abstract tool at this point. The others have powerful vestiges, is one more vestige worth the eternal damnation of not only Pike but also all her friends? I think I was missing a beat where the group seriously contemplates turning around and leaving, and then there's one more nudge as to why this is worth the astronomical price of failure. I also felt like it was a little silly that J'Mon apparently sent them down to Hell with absolutely no context or warning other than "this one dude has the armor, go get it." Wouldn't they have gone in a bit more prepared to have to offer something in return?

So there's this interesting tidbit with Zerxus (who I loved and will praise in a moment) where he says "we are his blood," and it seems like he's maybe working for the Whispered One? That would be a cool little tease for potential future seasons, but I feel like viewers who aren't really dedicated and deal-oriented might be confused by that, so I felt like a more concrete reminder might have been warranted.

Pros:

Despite that little wobble in the stakes-setting, I overall really enjoyed this episode. Great for us to get some Pike-centric story going, here!

The setting of Hell was so cool and creative, I felt like every moment gave me a fresh opportunity to enjoy a gruesome sight or creative character design. Scanlan's disguises for the group were also a lot of fun, I especially loved seeing Pike all furry and snugly.

This was a strong episode for Keyleth comedy, I loved her trying to lean in to being a disgusting Hell beast and eating the worm, and Vax's reaction of horror. Plus just her trying to do a scary Hell voice instead of her usual more timid register.

Pike's struggle to figure out the right thing to do is really interesting here, with the Everlight trying to warn her but also wanting her to choose her own path. I appreciate the way her relationship with her goddess functions in this show; it feels like a lot of what the Everlight is doing is empowering Pike to make her own fate, rather than doing more direct divine intervention, which is great for keeping the stakes balanced. Also, whenever we see that light flickering out in her little pendant, we know it means Pike is going to be without the backup/security of her goddess's presence. We've seen how bad that's shaken her in the past, so it was extra cool to see her buckle down and be a bad-ass even when she had those doubts planted in her head.

Let's talk about Zerxus!! So hot! Luis is here! I loved loved loved seeing him. What a cool added element for those of us who have seen Calamity, but also I feel like narrative-wise it's a perfectly reasonable swap-out for how the story went in the original. It felt like having secret forbidden knowledge when he was like "my friends ruined everything with their hubris, and then Asmodeus tricked me." Like, sir. Sir. Are you mayhaps editing the truth just slightly? But I also thought it worked on its own terms. I noticed that the backstory was slightly different as to his husband, but thought that was interesting too, feeding into this idea of his punishment being about being forgotten.

I loved Pike's moment of triumph specifically - the way it tied into Zerxus's story, and Pike's understanding of what it means to have ugly, uncomfortable, and selfish thoughts. Pike has admitted that she wonders if her life would be better without the Everlight, and now she gets Zerxus to realize that his loneliness overrides his desire to keep his family safe.

We didn't have much of a check-in with the Draconia crew, but we did see them briefly, on the cusp of finding out if Kima is okay. I'm excited to check in more with that story when I get around to watching the next episode!

That's all for now! Still loving this show, still hitting on all cylinders. It's interesting to watch the show when I feel really unsure of how things are going to shake out! Things are so different from what I've seen before.

8/10

[reioka-reads]

Title: Iron Widow

Author: Xiran Jay Zhao

Status: Keep

Series Continue: Yes

Okay. So. I’m going to preface this by saying that this has some spoilers in it. It’s only been a year so I’m aware that some people might still be on the waiting list at their library for this NYT Best Seller lol.

Anyway, sometimes I take a peep at the negative reviews on books to see if it changes my perspective and this time they absolutely did not. A lot of the negative reviews on this book have the same talking points: It feels rushed/some parts feel shoehorned in. And I agree. But you know what? Zhao does too. I remember them making a post somewhere (I follow them on both Tumblr and TikTok so it could have been either one) explaining how they had to cut back parts because it was their debut novel and in the publishing industry, the companies don’t like those novels to exceed a certain amount. Zhao, also, was not satisfied with their novel as it was published. Knowing that, I felt like I could see the parts where they cut back to fit into those guidelines. I think, if they hadn’t had to cut back, it would have been an even better book than it is.

That being said, I thought this book was great. I actually caught Zhao on TikTok and that’s what led me to reading the book (they are very funny and clever). It was an interesting premise and I enjoyed it. It felt very… refreshing, somehow? I’m not sure that’s the word I want but you know, after the inundation of vampires/werewolves/wizard schools the past few years, it was a breath of fresh air. I especially loved that the one-sidedness of the love triangle lasted maybe about a minute before all of these bi disasters decided actually no let’s be a true triangle. Good for them.

Zetian was brutality in its purest form. I love that for her. But I also loved the parts where she was vulnerable—where she allowed herself to be vulnerable in front of the men she loved. And how she refused to feel shame in front of others either. I also, for some reason, really like that she’s disabled? And it’s a focal point of the story, her constantly thinking about how she’s crippled and how it was supposed to make her desirable but all it did was make her life harder; how she’s constantly comparing her Lotus feet to the unmarred feet of her female peers and feeling envy and shame. It’s not a throwaway problem, it doesn’t get fixed, and I’m interested to see how it’s going to show up in the story in the future. I wish we could have seen Yizhi and Shimin fleshed out as much as she was, but the breadcrumbs that were dropped that I pieced together have me looking forward to maybe seeing more fleshing out in the sequel(s).

This story had so many twists and turns that I was constantly and genuinely shocked (delightfully so!) when they happened. I itched to get back to the book when I had to put it down; I wanted to know what happened next. I honestly didn’t expect the betrayal from the Black Tortoise and Shimin’s “death,” and I mourned with Zetian as soon as his qi reader hit zero. Then she actually found Qin Zheng and the yellow dragon! Piloted it herself!!! And then Shimin wasn’t dead and apparently the “gods” had saved him?! What the fuck!!!! And Yizhi simply killing his father with no remorse, no regrets. Qiu was probably the only person who figured out how Zetian truly ticked and he was so busy facing off with her that he didn’t even think his son could or would turn on him. My only beef is that Xiuying wasn’t alive to see Zetian crush her family to death, so that she could see that Zetian was stronger than her in every way.

I have more thoughts but I can’t really seem to articulate them, so I think I’ll leave this here. So bummed that the release date for Heavenly Tyrant has been pushed back, but I appreciate that Zhao is being transparent for their reasons. If pushing it back means a better story, I’m happy to wait.

[reversemoon255]

The Gattai Might Kaiser

I may have mentioned this before, but I've really been enjoying The Gattai. The engineering is so clever, and they feel very playable for the most part. Might Kaiser definitely gets a bit more complicated because of the Great Might Gaine combination, but it's not hard to figure it out after doing it once, apart from remembering what side the drill and crane go on. There's even several hidden transformation parts to Might Gaine for the combination that you might not have noticed when messing with it by itself. Just a great bit of engineering all around.

The Good: This set does a lot. While all the individual vehicles don't do much on their own, apart from the crane and shovel being able to move, they have the jet combination which is mostly solid, and the robot combination which is very solid.

Might Kaiser has quite a bit of articulation, including the chest-V being able to move out of the way so the arms have more range.

And the Great Might Gaine combination is extremely clever. Like, there are smaller versions of the drill and crane inside themselves that are used for the arms for proportional purposes, but the shells you pull off are then used as heels to increase stability. It also has tacky strips on the bottom of the legs to help with that as well. The main drill train does so much to form the chest, but if you watched the show or payed with the old toys, it wouldn't be hard to figure out. Also, Might Gaine's legs and waist both expand outward to give it better proportions. And everything has storage. Might Kaiser's arms store in the wings, his head crest stores in the chest-V which has storage on the back, Might Gaine's front skirt can attach to the back skirt to further bulk it out. And while you don't need it, there's an additional armature you can use to hold the back together and possibly stick a stand into, if you had a strong enough one and wanted to do something crazy.

The Bad: Nothing is a deal breaker, but there are a few things I find disappointing. While everyone is separated, the wing pack and chest-V don't have anything to do. They originally stored on the drill train's carrier car, which was omitted from this release. They have storage in every other mode; just not when everyone is separated. Unlike Might Gaine, who came with a tiny flight/storage stand for all its accessories, Might Kaiser doesn't have one, though when combined his only accessories are alternate hands.

For the jet combination, the crane and drill only connect via a single c-clip. They hold on well enough, but they do jitter around a bit.

For Might Kaiser, because of the backpack and shoulders, its posability it good, but not great. You can get quite a few good poses out of it, but there was stuff I wanted to try that I couldn't do. Additionally, there are no ankle tilts. The feet can move forward and back to accommodate poses, but not left to right, which does limit what you can do.

But luckily there really aren't any issues with Great Might Gaine, as I feel like that was the biggest priority of this release. Though a lot of stuff on this toy is held together by c-clips, and I worry that if any of them break the toy won't be able to combine anymore. But that's an issue only time can reveal.

Overall, if you have Might Kaiser, this is an easy recommendation. A great toy on its own that is bolstered to fantastic if you own the two. I wasn't interested in getting their third mech, as it just forms a shoulder cannon, but I may eventually be tempted to track it down if I hear good things. I'm trying to get a Thunder Gridman, and I have King Gridman on order if you're curious about those The Gattai releases in the future.

[likecastle]

Ronance Femslash February - moonlight

Thank you so much, @nancywheelersguns, for sending along another lovely prompt! Hopefully you enjoy this little slice of life future ficlet!

I could still use a couple more more prompts to close out Ronance Femslash February, so if you have any, please send them my way! Anon asks are totally fine, and you’re welcome to send more than one prompt. Don’t be shy! You can find previous prompts I’ve filled here.

For a moment when she wakes, Nancy doesn’t know where she is. Robin is sprawled across the bed beside her, murmuring in her sleep. Clear, thin light filters in through the curtains, illuminating a larger-than-life poster of Patti Smith, and that’s enough for Nancy to work it out.

They’re back in Hawkins to help Robin’s parents clear out their house, now that they’re moving to a retirement community in Santa Fe. When she and Robin arrived, they were both exhausted from never-ending construction traffic outside of Indianapolis, and Nancy had been content to let Robin dump their suitcase on the shag carpeting and drag her onto on the twin bed.

Now, Nancy is wide awake and restless in an unfamiliar house. Beside her, Robin mutters, “Non! Vous avez oublié les singes,” before turning over and dragging the covers off Nancy’s legs. Nancy figures this is as good a sign as any to get up, so she climbs out of bed and slips quietly into the hall, not wanting to wake Richard and Melissa on her way to the bathroom.

When she gets back, Robin has curled into a ball and cocooned all of the blankets around herself, but it’s not as if Nancy was going to get back to sleep any time soon. Instead, she takes the chance to look around Robin’s childhood room uninterrupted. Nancy’s parents turned her bedroom into a guest room as soon as Nancy graduated, but Robin’s parents have left Robin’s room almost untouched—which says something about their eagerness to have their daughter come back and visit them, Nancy thinks.

The moonlight is bright enough that Robin can read the titles on the spines of the books crammed onto Robin’s bookshelf—Italo Calvino and Isabel Allende, Jean Genet and Joan Didion. She can even make out the engraving on the second-place medal for the Roan County Spelling Bee that hangs from the lamp on Robin’s desk. Video tapes fill several boxes beside the desk, but Nancy knows without even having to look that they’re second-tier movies, not the precious collection of favorites that Robin carted around with her from one apartment to another for years, until they wore out or were lost or she replaced them grudgingly with DVDs. The room is so thoroughly Robin, from the collage of female singer-songwriters pasted to the wall to the framed photograph of Paris propped up on the dresser.

Nancy never spent much time here, when they were both still living at home. They were too busy saving the world for sleepovers or study dates, and after that, they went their separate ways for school. She barely knew Robin when they were girls, and part of her wishes they’d been able to start sooner, and under better circumstances. But that sort of what-if thinking has never served her well, and if she’s being honest with herself, she knows she wasn’t ready for Robin when they were fifteen, sixteen. She was still so concerned then with what she was supposed to do, and Robin, who’s never met a rule she didn’t roll her eyes at, would’ve seemed dangerous to her in a way she wouldn’t have been able to articulate at the time, but which Nancy might now call jealousy.

“What’re you doing up?” Robin whispers muzzily.

Nancy turns to see Robin’s head poking out of the tangle of sheets and smiles. “Somebody stole all the covers.”

Robin makes a little noise of complaint and reaches out one hand, making a grabbing gesture until Nancy climbs back into the tiny bed. They spend a while sorting out the covers before Nancy can curl around Robin’s back. Robin settles back against her with a yawn, getting comfortable, and it’s not long before Nancy drifts back to sleep.

[iluvcashh]

uspoken words

you made me think “what if..”, and i hope one day it’s you telling me the answer rather than me figuring it out on my own.

could we have pretended for a minute, just a minute, that we were the only two people on earth and no one else mattered. i know most times towards the end we did, but it clearly wasn’t enough.

don’t let it become a distant memory.

all i ask if for your presence. the most harmless thing, but, somehow, was weighed with the most guilt.

don’t let us meeting, us being drawn to each other, all of us, whatever it was, be in vain

10 days felt like a short century: satisfactory length, but not satisfactory for our bond.

we have a very weak flame. i hope it’s enough for distant sparks to be lit every once in a while.

if i think of you loud enough, you might hear me.

one state. one state. you just have to go through one state to get to me. please don’t forget.

college is a place of growth. we want to grow in the same place. this must mean we are destined to grow together.

i don’t just write. i articulate my thoughts into a book in hopes that one day you’ll see them and think of me.

i felt you when you looked at me even though we were 30 feet away, in a sea of people.

i was scared of you. scared because you were electric. scared because when you looked at me, it was electric. when you talked to me, it was electric. when you touched me, it was electric.

i like your eyes: they light up when you see me even when you try to hide it. but i like my eyes even better because they are always looking for yours.

delusional. so wrapped up in our own world i forgot our conflict of interest.

in the real world, with real people, we are two people who happened upon the same place at the same time. in the real world, sonnets i once wrote for someone else turned into disputes.

in our own world, we want to grow in the same place. in our own world, we’re able to grow together. in the real world, i’m struggling to grow with someone else.

loyalty. something i admire. falling out, however; something i despise. how do i choose between the two without hurting someone.

to be selfish means to make decisions best for you. to be selfless means looking past your expectations and being there for others.

i was conflicted, and you came and showed me the truth. the fall out was not because of you. it was because of you i realized there was a fall out.

in the real world, i am growing while this “someone else” is not growing with me. in our dream world, it is only me and you and we are growing. together.

conflicts of interest. conflict is plural. in our own world, it is just the two of us. in the real world, there is an unknown third party.

the teenage mind plays tricks on you. these tricks, when strong enough, lead you to believe anything.

pieces of a puzzle always match up, but all of our pieces haven’t been taken out yet. we are just two people in the real world with the knowledge of our own world: the world where it’s just two of us; the world where we grow together.

maybe if i write enough, my words will seep into your mind and show up as signs. signs for both you and me. there aren’t only conflicts of interest; there are conflicts with our interest. in each other.

i struggled to write, but, after ours, it’s all i do.

our story wasn’t a much of a story. it was a paragraph that left me with so much to say. with so many thoughts in my brain.

these unspoken words i write out because i couldn’t have possible spoke them to you.

loyalty. something i admire. loyalty is the reason i write these unspoken words instead of telling them to you.

our own world was temporary, but, maybe, just maybe, in the future, it won’t be.

perhaps your reasoning of me is different from my reasoning of you. but, either way, it’s a reason.

the real world calls for the both of us, so i am not asking you to wait. i am asking you not to forget. i am asking for friendship.

(these are not my emotions but rather ideas.)

[astromechs]

hi! I wanted to make a request and you don't have to do it but, if it isn't too much trouble would you mind expanding your comments on Gamora's writing in vol 3 from an objective perspective?

I felt like you were getting at something I have been struggling with and that's figuring out a balance between what I didn't like and what was objectively not great writing. I saw the movie twice and both times left feeling like it was such a good film conclusion except for most of what happened with Gamora. A few friends said it's because Gamora technically isn't a guardian so she didn't get the same kind of treatment. But that doesn't make sense to me. From my understanding even villains need to be presented as fully realized people for it to be good writing. With Gamora it felt like she was given the most shallow character representation. It also felt like her main purpose in the film for most of the time was to be a physical manifestation of Peter's grief and something for him to work through that nobody else had any real attachment to or feelings about. Mostly because we were never given a good view of the inner workings of what Gamora had been through since coming to the future and what she's been feeling. And due to her relationship with Nebula getting as little development as possible. This seems like objectively bad writing to me. I also thought because Gamora has been the female lead and had a real purpose of her own in the movies, that was still something that could be done for her in vol 3 even if she's not exactly the same due to experience and even if she's not a guardian. It seems to me Yondu and Kraglin have had better writing in the past. Even when they weren't guardians in vol 2 they were presented as fully realized people who have complexity. Plus though she was reluctant and harsh at times Gamora still took risks for the team and I thought that deserved more recognition in the writing.

Also it felt like all the writing for her in Endgame was ignored. She might not be a guardian but she still stood up for her sister and took a stand against Thanos. She tried to encourage 2014 Nebula. All of the things Gamora went through in the movie were beyond overwhelming and they could have built sympathy around that. Instead I felt vol 3 often almost tried to villainize her so that she wouldn't be seen as the hero the guardians were and I want to be mindful of my words but some of the writing around that felt kind of sexist. She's not a villain. she's been put into a situation that's incredibly overwhelming and also awful because it comes on the back of her being previously murdered. In an interview Zoe Saldana said Gamora's dealing with a lot of confusion and Karen Gillian said Gamora's lost a lot of her healing and Nebula sees that and wants to help. I feel like these awesome possibilities were almost nonexistent in vol 3.

I apologize that what I'm trying to say is such an incoherent ramble. It's difficult to express what I'm struggling with and I'm trying not to jump to conclusions but a lot of the ways Gamora was handled compared to the other wonderful parts of vol 3 has me giving it a genuine side eye.

hi, no worries for the ramble! i enjoy reading all y'all's thoughts.

when you look at this story as presented from the first film, while this is generally an ensemble effort, there are three main characters that are focused on more than the others: peter, gamora, and rocket. they're the ones whose entry into the group you're following in the first film. in vol 2, each of these three characters is leading their own subplot, which all end up coalescing into the third act (as all good sets of subplots should), and each of the three characters have their own distinct character arc.

vol 3 has a big focus on rocket, but peter, as a main saga character, gets a well-articulated arc alongside rocket. these are two of the main players in these films, so that's well in keeping with the story that has been told thus far. but remember, gamora had a well-articulated arc in both vol 1 and vol 2, and was one of the three principal characters of this narrative, so suddenly... that's missing. gamora barely has an arc or really any focus at all, so the narrative structure that's been set up from the first film suddenly gets a bit wobbly, and doesn't quite feel in keeping with the rest of the story that's been told.

so i genuinely think, from a story perspective, this film merited more focus on gamora, as a main saga character. you can look at the whole story put together as a whole and peter has a throughline that makes sense, rocket has a throughline that makes sense, but gamora's is a total mess. and i think that makes the overall story just a bit weaker.

[sqbr]

I don't disagree with this but: pretty much every time I've hit a Big Nasty Disagreement with a friend I could look back and see lots of little disagreements and frictions that never got dealt with. So I've been trying to work on actually expressing and resolving those little issues as they come up. And a key to this, for me, has been not thinking of it as Me Explaining Why They're Wrong, but me simply expressing my opinion/feelings and having a conversation about it, open to their perspective without undermining my own.

Sometimes they do decide I'm right, and change their attitude/behaviour. And sometimes it becomes clear that their opinions or ways of dealing with conflict are so incompatible with mine that the friendship is doomed. But sometimes it's more complicated.

Sometimes half the conversation is us just learning to have a conflict without our communication/emotional issues and differences getting in the way, which is much better done now than when we have a Big Argument. Sometimes I realise I was wrong entirely or in part, which is mortifying, but better dealt with than not. Sometimes there's a bunch of give and take and we both end up at a new opinion neither of us had going in. Sometimes we can't come to a complete agreement, but still learn to understand each other better, and either have a better idea how to get along with less friction in future, or both have warning that things might unravel later. Sometimes I can't even fully articulate my issues and just have to say "this bothered me, and I can't explain why, but it's bugging me enough that I want to discuss it" and whether or not we figure it out I get to feel listened to, and we've set the stage for a more concrete conversation later once I've figured out my feelings (or I've learned this person won't always listen).

And in my experience, even when someone is in the wrong it's often like 90% wrong 10% justified, and if they feel the 10% has been acknowledged as right they're more likely to accept that the 90% is wrong. Of course it's important not to be so indulgent of their feelings that by the end they can tell themselves the 10% is the important part. I'm still working on that.

Disagreement and conflict doesn't always have to be this black and white thing where one person is Right and the other either admits it or is the Bad Guy. Sometimes it is! But even those situations I think it's easier for the Wrong party to be open to criticism and admit fault if there's an established dynamic of open good faith communication around conflict. And if someone is unwilling to engage in that sort of communication, better to learn that in a small conflict than a big one.

The older you get the more you will realize that your friends are people who have made mistakes and bad decisions and even just fucked up and hurt people.

And obviously your boundaries with your friends are completely up to you but you do need to recognize that if you cut off everyone who has done something wrong, you’re going to end up with no friends (and you yourself will have also fucked up in your life, and not lived up to those impossible standards either).

I’ve found it’s much more constructive to learn how to say “hey dude, that was massively fucked up of you,” because most people are really willing to say “yeah, it was, I need to work on it/not do it again/apologize and make things right” ESPECIALLY if they are hearing it from you as their friend.

[mystiika]

@ensuists​ asked:  Fingers swirl the rim of his drink, knee brushing subtly against Isaac's, a touch so light and almost innocent, yet knowing their history, there's no way it could be anything of the sort. Still, it's a feather-like touch for plausible deniability... who knew if the other even reciprocated the buried emotions Ryouta still bears for him? "How long are you staying for?" He murmurs lowly, finally glancing up from his drink to chance a glance at Isaac's. "If you'd like to, my place has a spare room... you're free to stay there until you go back. I figured I owe you one, considering I spent so much time at your place back in Paris and all." (future verse!)

   its hard to articulate how it feels to see ryouta again. there’s a lot of hurt from having to say goodbye & of not feeling like he was able to ask him to stay & ask him to give up so much just for a life with him. this too only compounded by the miniscule indent left behind on ryouta’s finger despite the clear absence of an actual ring, even though isaac really has no right to feel that way. it feels as if so much of it was his fault, for not fighting to stay together despite how short a time they’d had. he knew this would happen, that ryouta would come home to his life in japan, take over the company passed down to him & marry a woman he couldn’t possibly love all for the sake of appearances. surely this was better somehow. & he knows at the brush against his leg that he should pull away, shift away from the warm pressure of ryouta’s knee but can’t seem to bring himself to do it. after all, it was innocent enough, right? & surely, if nothing else, he could allow himself this small moment to touch him again.

     ❝ i’m not really sure... ❞ he starts. ❝ the plan is a month or so, to travel around & see all the sights. ❞ he pauses after that, just for a second as he wonders if its worth adding, unsure if it would be misinterpreted or rather if ryouta would see through it as some sort of an excuse to extend his trip. although, eventually, he settles on it anyway. ❝ —but if i liked it enough i might stick around for a bit longer. ❞ yet even as isaac says it he’s not able to look ry in the eye, as though worried his eyes would betray his thoughts. but eventually he finds it in himself to look up from his drink again, bringing it to his lips to sip & wet his dry throat. so he can watch ryouta’s face for any small micro-expression. a face older than the one he remembers but one that still makes his heart swell & ache despite that fact.

   he wants to jump at the offer, at any chance to spend more time with his ex lover again. & though he doesn’t know if his heart can handle the pain of being so close to him yet feeling so distant, somehow the words come out without his say. ❝ sure, if its not too much trouble. it would definitely save me the headache of finding something on my own. ❞ you don’t owe me anything, he wants to add. but the words get caught in his throat, so he takes another sip of his drink in the hopes of washing them down.

[daja-the-hypnokitten]

Hypnokink Community and Legacy

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about legacy - about who influenced me, and what influence I’ve had over those who will come after me in our little community. In part, this is due to a verse from an SCA-themed song that goes:

“Now as I gather armor, bits and pieces here and there

I think about example, how you act and what you dare

‘Cause you never know who’s watching or how far the story goes

And where’re that Lady is I hope she knows”

And it’s all a song about how the singer didn’t feel there was a place for her in that particular type of SCA combat until she saw another Lady doing it.

This song resonates with me, both as a SCAdian who was inspired to pick up a rapier by other ladies who fenced, but also when I look at where the hypnokink community was when I joined, and why I stayed.

You might not know it to look now, but when I first joined the hypnokink community, especially the con-going hypnokink community, it was OVERWHELMINGLY straight male Dominants/hypnotists and female submissives/hypnotees. The first con I went to had like … 5 people at the queer roundtable. And one of them was someone I know to be a straight man who just happened to be planning to run a con (MEEHU 1) later that year. There were very few openly switchy humans in that group, as I recall, and only two gals I can remember who were openly primarily hypnotists - LeeAllure and LadyRuetha.

And, of course, much of the fiction at that time, at least that I could find, was … not very friendly to young Daja. Again, it defaulted to male-dominant, often in very mean-spirited ways that treated the lady involved as an object who had no meaningful way to consent. If that had been all I could find, I likely would never have stayed in the community - I likely would have never felt *safe* here.

But then I found stories written by Jukebox (@jukeboxemcsa) and Wiseguy (@hypnoobiwan). Jukebox, as he does now, always wrote a variety of style of stories, but he had some extremely sweet stories that made me *want* to be here, to have a partner who could do that sort of play, if … maybe in different ways. I will never forget the way I felt the first time I read “Closer to the Heart.” There’s a line from that story I’ve always tried to hold to, as a “am I doing this for the right reason?” check - “Everything we do comes from love.” No matter how contentious things got, in the future, having that mental check, the “am I doing this for pride? Or for love of my community?” moment? It helped me figure out what the right path for me was in some very difficult spaces.

And then he published “Just Can’t Get Enough,” which was the first moment I felt that someone who was more interested in the HYPNOSIS part of erotic hypnosis could belong as much as anyone. The story wasn’t about an ace character, but I resonated so much with the way Suzie loved hypnosis. There … wasn’t a lot about asexuality in the community at that time - or, really, many places. I was still just figuring out that I wasn’t *broken* for not experiencing attraction the way my friends and classmates did. And that’s where I was when I read this story for the first time. I felt *seen* in a way I couldn’t articulate then, but I can now that I understand being ace better.

 And Wiseguy’s stories, such clear moments of connection between *humans* added to that. Those two made me feel like maybe I could be safe in this community. Without them, I’d have run away before being around the hypnokink community for even a year. I learned so much from him, too, on how to be a hypnotist. I don’t have words for how much he’s taught me over the years.

But I never would have made a home in the hypnokink community without LadyR (@ladyruetha) as a role model. See, as many of you might know, I’m a highly switchy human, and a particular blend of ace and pan. If I’d felt I had to deny half of who I was? No matter how safe this community felt, no matter how much I wanted this kink? I would have walked away. It mattered too much to me to be able to express all of who I was as I figured out those parts of me. But I could never pull off the … distant… persona of a lot of the online pro-dommes cultivated. LadyR though always came off as sweet and warm and caring of all the folk around her.

Even today, I think of what I’ve seen of her as a hypnotist, and how her Chosen speak of her, and have that as a goal any time I’m in Dom!Daja mode. Not necessarily the exact style of play, of course, but that level of care and ensuring my partners know how much I care for them.

She encouraged me to teach my first class, an uncon class at my first NEEHU, where I and another gal talked about switching, specifically as gals and the particular challenges that can bring sometimes. In that space of time, I actually *believed* that I had value to add to the community.

That belief, along with people pointing out that my rough and dirty “hey, can you avoid…” negotiation when demoing for classes was changing the approach to demos and consent slowly, encouraged me to teach more, and, more importantly, to ask Hypnomaestro and Isis if they needed any help at MEEHU 1.

Well, turns out that they did. And by the end of MEEHU 1, I was asked to be on the ConCom for MEEHU 2 - and had been doing a lot of ConCom type work in the process, including stepping in part way through the con for a ConCom member who had a personal crisis that pulled him away from con.. That was summer of 2014. I stayed on the Chicago Con ConCom through the end of the last Entranced in 2018.

In that time, I watched our community change DRASTICALLY. Our consent standards drastically improved (to my view, anyway), and cons started banning folk for severe enough consent violations. We started having consent teams, and consent policies and required training. Switching has become *a norm* more than something weird. Our community is SO much more queer - and trans folk are around and visible and loved here, now.

It’s a series of changes I’m happy to have seen and to help shepard in, to some extent, for all I’ve been far from perfect over the years. But any change I helped cause? Would never have happened in that way if it wasn’t for those three people who made me feel like this community could be a home for me.

I hope, in the future, there are folk who have improved our community in similar ways who can trace their welcome here back to things I’ve done, the way I can look at Jukebox, Wiseguy, and LadyR and acknowledge I wouldn’t be here without their influence.

That’s a legacy I could be proud of.

[townofcadence]

A small smile graces Artair's lips when Butch takes his own hand. The gesture is kind and thoughtful. He rotates his wrist, and laces their hands together, his facing up into Butch's to entangle their fingers. They could comfort each other, this way. Every time he squeezed he could feel the way it effected Butch and--- it made him happy, in a way he couldn't articulate, to do something that soothed him.

A hollow chuckle leaves him, but he listens. "I... you're sweet, Butch. For someone with devil horns, you're kind of an angel." He teases, though his voice is a pinch strained. "I just--- ah... you know. I don't know. I'm not.... worried, I guess. I mean I am, but.... I guess it's complicated. Isn't it always? But--- I like helping you. I mean, I.... I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to fix you or anything. But I feel....useful, when I'm listening or-- anything. Something that makes you feel.... better." It's a tangent, so he tries to find his way back to a point. "You're here and alive, but.... I want you to have more than that. I get your point, but still. I just-- that's what I want."

His head drops onto Butch's briefly, when he leans in against him. "Surprise twist, I'm the real troublemaker." He laughs, before it sobers near as fast as it left him. "I do, you know? Want to. Want to make sure you're-- you get the best of everything. It's my expert opinion that you've been through more than enough." Artair switched his headrest to Butch's shoulder, offering him a smile instead, almost upside down at the angle his head was at. "And I like your trouble so far. I'm not complaining."

He's.... glad his own trouble hasn't caught him yet when he's been around Butch. The idea Butch thinks he's so great feels wrong, but--- sooner or later, something bad would happen, and it'd be his fault, and then things might change. Or worse, they wouldn't. But he just wanted to be selfish and live right here, for now. Just for a little bit.

Artair's head remains on Butch's shoulder, but his gaze goes up to the stars. "I think.... for now I'm okay with not knowing. I mean I want to but I don't even know where to start. I'm not sure there's even a way to figure it out? But I have time. And like you said. I don't need to know. Not just yet. I just..." He collects his thoughts, in a beat of silence.

"... I guess you caught me thinking. About the future. How like....everything's gotta change one day. And I don't know how different I'll be when it does. But.... for now I'm just gonna take it day by day. But.... when you asked what I was thinking, I... I wanted to tell you. I want you to have someone. And even if that person wasn't me, I'd still want that. It's just bonus that I can understand. And be that person, if you want."

Artair sits back up, facing Butch with a warm smile. "Because, you know, I care about you, or whatever. You're a good friend, Butch."

There’s something comforting about that hand placed upon his own, even more so feeling it squeeze his in a reassuring manner. He’s not so much accustomed to gentle forms of comfort or affection; if it weren’t for the fact that he knew Artair and that he happened to be rather fond of him, he would instinctively pull that hand away. That sort of intimacy frightened him to some degree, atleast when it was genuine, but here? It’s different for some reason. If he wasn’t so bad at reading his own emotions, perhaps he would come to understand why that was.

Butch bumps that shoulder right back playfully, “Not f’ya ‘xpect me t’ follow it~” He chides though his tone is still a teasing one. His expression grows a bit more solemn as he listens to Artair express his feelings about his own situation and the confusion that came with it, coupled with the fact that he knows little to nothing about what he’s supposed to be. He had, had the fortune of being born human himself, but Artair… it sounded as though he had lived a lie for the first half of his life before finding out the truth and still didn’t have any answers. Yet still, the poor guy was incredibly kind and seemed to put others before himself in any situation. It upset Butch, because there were many out there who could and would take advantage of that trait.

He feels another squeeze to his hand and silently wonders if it’s comforting to Artair the way it is for him— and when he feels the other man begin to fiddle with his hand, it’s Butch’s turn to take his hand. Which he does following the next small squeeze. He moves his own hand this time to place atop Artair’s instead, fingers curling to squeeze his hand right back. Butch is staring at him now with concern, taking in his words.

“Well… y’are a person.” Butch speaks after a moment of contemplating what to say. What could he say? He wasn’t as good as Artair was with this ‘making people feel better’ thing. “Jus’ ‘cause yer not… a person th’ same way other people are, don’t mean nothin. An’ I know y’don’t want me feelin’ sorry fer ya— an’ I don’t. I jus’… don’t think ya should brush yer worries off ‘cause I have it bad. I mean, I’m okay too f’ya wanna put it like that. I’m alive, I’m here. But looks ain’t as tellin’ as ya might think. I know ya know that.“ The cowboy removes his hat and sits it next to him before leaning into Artair some; staying there for a long moment. Being shorter than the other had its advantages. “I ‘ppreciate ya lookin’ out fer me… really. It… means a lot t’me. But… look out fer yerself, too. Otherwise I’m gonna have t’ follow ya ‘round an’ make sure y’don’t get yerself int’ trouble. An’ I know y’don’t want that. I bring my own typa trouble with me, heh.” A smile flashes on his face but it’s quick to dissipate.

“I hate that yer goin’ through that, though… th’ worst part is not knowin’. But… maybe y’don’t have to? I mean, yer a good—…nah, yer a great person, Artair. Maybe one’a th’ sweetest fellas I’ve ever ran into. Why’s it matter?” He asks, lifting his head to look at Artair again… though his expression softens quickly when he realizes it might matter to Artair himself rather than how others may perceive him. “….b-but if it does really mean that much t’ya, I could help ya figure it out. I’unno how jus’ yet but gimme a minute an’ I’ll come up with somethin.”

[anaveragebibliophile]

He Comes First

Thranduil x Wife!reader x Young!Legolas 

Summary: After finding out some exciting news about your and Thranduil’s future as parents, you begin reminiscing on the all the joys and wonders that this life has given you (especially getting to see your husband excel at fatherhood). 

PART 1 

PART 2: 

https://anaveragebibliophile.tumblr.com/post/659269636241637376/cyclical-love

“Are you one-hundred percent certain, Morwen? I know you are an expert at discerning such things, but I cannot help but still feel the uncertainty reverberating through me,” you said, hands gripping your kneecaps as you awaited the healer’s response. 

“Yes, my queen. All of the signs are there: the nausea, the subsequent morning sickness, the exhaustion. I am positive that I am correct in my diagnosis.” 

“Oh, by the Valar (God),” you responded, your right hand drifting to hold your stomach protectively. “I am with child. Thranduil and I will be welcoming another elfing next fall.” 

“Yes, Queen (y/n). When the leaves begin to fall, you will be holding another blessing in your arms.” 

Walking back to your and Thran’s chambers provided ample time for rumination on this news (because the healer’s quarters were on the other side of the palace). Now, that’s not to say this contemplation was meant to curb any sentiments of regret, resentment, or anger. Not at all. In reality, you couldn’t stop a huge smile from framing your face. You couldn’t help but embrace the elation that was filling every facet of your heart, soul, and mind. Oh, this was a dream come true. 

Obviously, the topic of having another child had been discussed between you and your husband many times (usually on fireside date night with goblets of wine and lots of cuddling). And the funny thing was that the prospect had cemented itself more securely over the last few months. Having and caring for another child no longer appeared to be this unattainable desire, but, instead, it filled you and Thran with this rapture, this thrill. And why wouldn’t it really? Legolas was everything you both could have hoped for, so why not try for that relentless feeling of contentment one more time? You’d have to be asinine not to. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ada, Ada are you awake?” Legolas’ melodic voice asked, breaking through the tranquil haze you’d encompassed yourself in. 

“There is no need to fret, my little leaf. Ada is just resting his eyes. He is tired,” your husband’s deep baritone responded. 

“Of course, Ada, but that is not why I was asking. Would it be alright if I laid on your chest?” 

“You already know the answer to that, Legolas. Climb on up, iôn nîn (my son).” 

And climb on up he did, at least from what you saw through the little crack in the door. Once your little elfling’s voice alerted you to the fact that your two favorite people in all of Middle Earth were in your chambers, your immediate instinct was to rush and join in on the cuddle session that was so obviously taking place. Yet, somehow, right as you put your hand on the doorknob, it was as if your feet were tethered to the floor. You couldn’t move. You couldn’t speak. All because you turned your head. All because of what you were bearing witness to. 

Legolas was sprawled starfish-like on his father’s chest, his little face turned into the right side of Thranduil’s neck. You could see the red, depressed sleep lines marring his face from his morning nap (where he and the pillow became great comrades). And even though that was such an adorable sight, what you saw your husband doing made joy spread through your entire heart in such a way that you thought it might implode on you. 

Sometimes your little leaf struggled to fall asleep at night. Whether it be because of a nightmare or a fear of separation from his parents no one could truly say. His insomnia was variable at best and inevitable at worst. However, regardless of the circumstances, your and Thran’s mission was to get your son some relief, no matter the cost. And you tried everything you could think of: lullabies, rocking, warm milk, literally anything that the rule book on parenting tells you to attempt, but nothing would make any impact. That is, until your husband changed the game. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One night in mid-winter, Legolas’ inability to sleep had reached its peak. He hadn’t been feeling well for most of the day--spending most of it snuggled with you in the sitting room or with Thranduil in his office--and by the end of the night had been sporting a pretty nasty fever. He was miserable, plain and simple. You had hoped that the illness would’ve given him the opportunity to give in to his fatigue, to barricade himself in a dream-like state. Wrong. Instead, the infection chose to create a pain in his ear that wouldn’t abate by any means. No question, it made him absolutely hysterical. 

Despite this, though, he was most at peace with your husband, the man who spent most of that day with his lips pressed in a thin, white line and his stomach in knots. All he hoped for was his son to be improving, but it didn’t seem like Valar (God) was in the mood to grant that wish. So, he did what he was best at: finding a way to take control of the situation. In this case, the problem was Legolas’ discomfort. The little guy was trying to sleep--on his side, his back, in Thran’s arms, in whatever position his brain could conjure up--but would then proceed to hold his left ear and whimper. Anything he did would cause pain to shoot through him.  

“Alright, little leaf,” Thranduil said while rocking his son in his arms for the tenth time that day, “how about we try having you rest on my chest. You might sleep better that way.” And all he got was an almost imperceptible nod from the elfling that was clenching his hand so tight. 

Moving over to the bed, he slowly settled himself in the center, making sure not to jostle his son too much. Quietly humming to Legolas, he carefully moved his right hand up and down his spinal column and left lingering kisses on his forehead. 

“There we go, iôn nîn (my son),” he said. “Hopefully this helps. Gi melin (I love you).”

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“Darling, you can come in, you know. This is your space too,” your husband’s voice articulated, a hint of mockery and teasing in his tone (all in good fun). 

Opening the door all the way, you smiled at the treasures that laid before you. One curled into his father’s chest like an armadillo. The other grinning like a fool at said armadillo. 

“My apologies, sweetheart. Once I got here, I couldn’t refrain from letting you have that special one-on-one time with him.” 

Your husband’s right cheekbone lifted up to create an off-centered smile of sorts. “How was your appointment with Morwen? Was she able to give you some herbs to aid your sickness?”

“Yes, she was. But that is not the only thing she mentioned to me. About why I am ill anyway.” 

“What else is wrong? Whatever it is, it is treatable, yes?” Thranduil queried, his voice getting higher by at least three octaves. 

“Yes, honey. It is treatable. I’ll only have to wait about six more months.”

At that, your husband paused, concentration taking over his features. You felt his brain’s agony at the mere thought of analyzing the riddle and attempting to figure it out. Every mechanism was moving to decipher the answer. 

And then it all clicked. 

“If what you say is true, then that means we are….” 

TBC 

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

if carlisle and dumbledore were put in each other's respective stories / dilemmas , how do you think they would react? how would a carlisle cullen have dealt with voldemort/grindelwald? and how dumbledore would have dealt with vampirism, etc? i almost view the two of them as a sort of foil to each other, not yet able to articulate why or how though

I mean, they'd live completely different lives, because they're completely different characters. It's very unlikely they'd end up in the same situations.

But alright.

Carlisle is Dumbledore

Carlisle's born in a working class family that quickly begins to fall apart. His father's sent to prison, his mother dies, his sister has a chronic illness that will never disappear, and it's just him and his brother left with very little chance of a future between them.

Handsome Gellert Grindelwald moves in next store with grand, new, ideas concerning the muggles.

Now, this particular Carlisle won't be Christian, he's a pureblood wizard and we can pretty safely assume that the Dumbledores were no more religious than any other wizarding family is.

It's a little up in the air whether Carlisle would be seduced by Gellert or not. Gellert is learned, foreign, and has all these radical, new, theories that weren't very prevalent at the time (well, anti muggleborn sentiment was, the facism was new). On the other hand though, Carlisle is also a man who once radically changed his own beliefs to something that went against nearly every edict of his previous religion. This is not a guy who takes things for granted and is not afraid to both confront himself and the true nature of the world he lives in.

And he has a deep respect for human life that, had it been any lesser, would have undoubtedly led to him eating humans as a vampire.

So, I'm going to say no, or if he does, it lasts up until Gellert says, "We should totally make the muggles our slaves." The muggles may have irreparably damaged Carlisle's sister, they may be hated by society, but they are free thinking beings who should be enslaved to no one. Carlsile raises his pacifism flag.

As a result, Gellert probably thinks he's a tool. Hot, of course, and intelligent, but a useless tool. Without somebody to bounce ideas off of/confirm his radicalization, Gellert has little to no interest in Carlisle or any of the Dumbledores. Gellert spends his time in Godric's Hollow then goes elsewhere, Ariana lives, at least for now, unclear how long her lifespan was going to be otherwise, Carlisle does not have the Gellert incident, and he and Abeforth remain on good terms.

Carlisle graduates Hogwarts and either is a) bullied into taking Flamel's apprenticeship opportunity by Abeforth who screams "DUDE, GET YOURSELF A FUTURE or b) immediately sets about trying to find a relatively high paying job so he can support the family. In the case of B, I imagine he goes to work for the goblins who seem to hire those straight out of Hogwarts with good enough grades. In the case of A, well, he goes to study alchemy.

Knowing Carlisle, he does a bastardization of both. He studies alchemy under Flamel and then works nights as a bartender in Paris or something to that effect. When he finishes, what career he does then is out in the air.

Given that, as a vampire, he had all the choices in the world open to him in terms of education (and tried many different things) before eventually settling on and sticking with human medicine despite the dangers, I think that's telling. Carlisle probably tries to get a job in something healing related.

However, that strays more into the "What if Carlisle was in the wizarding world" vs. "What if Carlisle was Dumbledore" so we'll say that the idea of teaching appeals to him and he returns to Hogwarts for the Transfiguration position.

This all goes well except then there's a first world war on, the muggle world goes completely insane, and no one understands why Carlisle's so upset.

And now we enter the world where Carlisle starts really making choices in Dumbledore's shoes.

First, Tom Riddle. Carlisle, I imagine, makes 100,000 times of a better impression than Dumbledore on the young Tom. He does not, for one, light his wardrobe on fire and threaten him. Carlisle might think this kid is weird, but he lives in poverty and an orphanage, much of his behavior can be explained from that. I imagine Carlisle becomes determined to take Tom under his wing.

I imagine at first Tom thinks this is excellent, LOOK HOW MUCH HE'S MANIPULATING THIS ADULT! And then he realizes that, no, Carlisle is perfectly aware he's a little shit. He just likes talking to Tom after classes about how to fit in with pureblood society/weird esoteric muggle philosophy.

Trouble is, Carlisle is so damn likeable (see his friends all over the world), that Tom can't help but like him. When the Blitz begins, and Carlisle undoubtedly offers Tom (and any other muggleborn who was not moved to the country) a place to stay, that seals the deal, the wizarding world might suck but Carlisle's a pretty cool guy.

Of course, Tom still thinks the government should be reformed or overthrown, but he and Carlisle actually sit down to talk about things like communism and facism (Carlisle's not a fan though the modern, muggle, form of democracy not practiced in the wizarding world is a weird concept to him).

My point being, it's unlikely this Tom Riddle becomes Voldemort or even really aspires to become him. You want more on that topic, check out these posts.

Grindelwald meanwhile, becomes a bigger and bigger deal, and things start looking... bad. However, it's not immediately obvious that Carlisle's the one who should do something about it. He's not a duelist, he's a professor, and his job is to teach the children. He may have been alright in school, but that was decades ago now. More, unlike Albus, he feels no personal responsibility, he knew Gellert, briefly, yes, but they had no real connection. Gellert spoke about insane things and Carlisle said, "Mm, don't like". Add to that that Carlisle's a pacifist, he's going to insist that someone trained for the position do the job.

Given canon, this means that Grindelwald likely invades and takes over wizarding England and, with a strong enough foothold, enacts his "enslave the muggles" plan. Which very well might result in a nuclear holocaust as Grindelwald was likely not keeping up with muggle technology and the muggle world war.

The muggle world collapses, which in turn causes society collapse, and the world may or may not be a nuclear wasteland that Tom and Carlisle get to wander around.

If Carlisle by some divine intervention has a prophetic dream of "YOU MUST DEFEAT GRINDELWALD OR DOOM DOOM DOOM" then he goes and tries to defeat Grindelwald. Considering Grindelwald has the elder wand, he probably needs Deus ex Phoenix to win, but if it worked for Dumbledore it might work for Carlisle.

Well. No one saw that coming.

Carlisle's an overnight sensation and a national hero, the hero of Western Europe even. He's suddenly being presented medals, honors, seats of power, and Carlisle desperately tries to refuse, feeling very squeamish that he's being given these things because he took it upon himself to murder another human being (yes, even a war lord).

Tom finds this funny and Abeforth is ureservedly proud and tells everybody.

All Carlisle wanted to do was teach children and now he has to reside over trials in the Wizengamot. This is terrible.

As for what happens to the wizarding world from there, well, inertia probably carries it along for a good while. However, antimuggleborn sentiment is still on the rise an even without Voldemort I imagine there's quite a bit of unrest.

I imagine Carlisle, not wanting in any way to be a political figure, is not nearly as outspoken as Dumbledore on anything. He just wants to be headmaster, guys, leave him alone.

Tom may or may not go into politics and do it for him. But he probably ends up teaching too and just laughs as the country collapses.

Harry Potter is an ordinary student who has no prophecy surrounding him. Carlisle did not recruit children to join an illegal resistance movement nor does he have a plethora of spies and moles in the ministry.

Harry Potter canon does not happen.

Dumbledore is Carlisle

Well, Dumbledore undoubtedly also burned witches and very much believed in their existence. An irony there. He may chase the vampire, probably isn't first in the mob, in which case he remains human or dies.

If he does survive being bitten, I imagine it pains him for a while, but I don't see Albus having the same willpower as Carlisle. Or at least, not as much, Albus probably ends up eating people. He at first probably tries to be picky and eats those who harm society in some way (pick your poison for what that means) and then over time becomes less picky.

They're just humans, after all.

Albus probably isn't invited to stay in Volterra, he's not all that interesting. He doesn't become a human doctor, he's just your ordinary vampire. He might hang around libraries as much as he can but that's about as far as that extends.

He probably turns a Gellert equivalent at some point as a mate and they have a grand time together.

Edward is never turned nor the rest of the Cullens and Bella dies in a parking lot.

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 2x11 thoughts

For an episode that ends with a journalist Ted trusts but has (understandably) recently lied to warning Ted that he’s publishing an article about his panic attacks, it was fitting that this episode seemed entirely about what all of these characters choose to tell each other. And after most of a season of television that Jason Sudeikis has described as the season in which the characters go into their little caves to deal with things on their own, it turns out they are finally able to tell each other quite a lot.

Which is good because, um, wow, a lot is going to happen in the season finale of this show!

Thoughts on the things people tell each other behind the cut!

Roy and Keeley. I absolutely loved the moment during their photoshoot in which they bring up a lot of complicated emotional things and are clearly gutted (“gutted”? Who am I? A GBBO contestant who forgot to turn the oven on?) by what they’ve heard. We already know that Keeley and Roy are great at the kinds of moments they have before the shoot begins, in which Roy builds Keeley up and tells her she’s fucking amazing. From nearly the beginning of their relationship, they’ve supported each other and been each other’s biggest fans. But their relationship has gone on long enough that they’ve progressed from tentative arguments about space and individual needs into really needing to figure out what they mean to each other and how big their feelings are and what that means in relation to everything else. Watching these two confess about the uncomfortable kiss with Nate, the unexpectedly long conversation with Phoebe’s teacher, and—most painfully—the revelation that Jamie still loves Keeley didn’t feel like watching two people who are about to break up. (Although I could see them potentially needing space from each other to get clarity.) It felt like watching two people realize just how much they’d lose if they lost each other, which is an understandably scary feeling even—or especially—when you’re deeply in love but not entirely sure what the future holds. Not entirely sure what you’re capable of when you’ve never felt serious about someone in quite this way, and are realizing you have to take intentional actions to choose that relationship every single day. I’m excited to learn whether Roy and Keeley decide they need to solidify their relationship more (not necessarily an engagement, but maybe moving in together or making sure they’re both comfortable referring to the other as partner and telling people they’re in a committed relationship) or if things go in a different direction for a while.

Sharon and Ted. I’ve had this feeling of “Wow, Ted is going to feel so intense about how honest he’s been with Sharon and is going to end up getting really attached and transfer a lot of emotions onto the connection they have and that is stressful no matter how beneficial it has been for him to finally get therapy!” for a while now. And Sharon’s departure really brought that out and it was indeed stressful. But the amount of growth that’s happened for both of these characters is really stunningly and beautifully conveyed in this episode. Ted is genuinely angry she left without saying goodbye, and he doesn’t bury it some place deep inside him where it will fester for the next thirty years. He expresses his anger. (I also noticed he sweared—mildly—in front of her again, which is really a big tell for how much he has let his carefully-constructed persona relax around her.) He reads her letter even though he said he wasn’t going to, and he’s moved. I don’t think Ted has the words for his connection to Sharon beyond “we had a breakthrough,” but Sharon gets it, and is able to firmly assert a professional boundary by articulating her side of that breakthrough as an experience that has made her a better therapist. And is still able to offer Ted a different kind of closure by suggesting they go out before her train leaves. No matter how you feel about a patient/football manager seeing their therapist/team psychologist colleague socially, I appreciated this story because IMO it didn’t cross big lines but instead was about one final moment in this arc in which both Ted and Sharon saw each other clearly and modeled what it is to give someone what they need and to expect honesty and communication from them. I liked that Ted ends up being the one saying goodbye. (The mustache in the exclamation points!) I like that whether or not Sharon returns in any capacity (Sarah Niles is so wonderful that I hope she does, but I’m not sure), the goodbye these characters forge for themselves here is neither abandonment nor a new, more complicated invitation. It’s the end of a meaningful era, and although the work of healing is the work of a lifetime, it’s very beautiful to have this milestone.

Ted and Rebecca. So, maybe it’s just me, but it kinda feels like these two have a few li’l life things to catch up on?! (HAHHHHHaSdafgsdasdf!) I really adored their interactions in this episode. I maintain that Biscuits With The Boss has been happening this whole time (even when Ted’s apartment was in shambles, there’s biscuit evidence, and I feel like we’ve been seeing the biscuit boxes in Rebecca’s office pretty regularly too), even if it might have been more of a drive-by biscuit drop-off/feelings avoidance ritual. It was really lovely to see Ted on more even footing in Rebecca’s office, joking around until she tells him to shut up, just like the old days. And GOSH—for their 1x9 interaction in Ted’s office to be paralleled in this episode and for Ted to explicitly make note of the parallel in a way Rebecca hears and sees and understands?! MY HEART. In both of Rebecca’s confessions, she is not bringing good news but it is good and meaningful that she chooses to share with Ted. In both situations, Ted takes the moment in stride and offers acceptance equivalent to the gravity of what she has to confess. And in both situations, he’s not some kind of otherworldly saint, able to accept Rebecca no matter what because he’s unaffected by what she shares. He is affected. When he tells her about Sam, you can see a variety of emotions on his face. Rebecca is upset and Ted is calm, and even if I might have liked for him to try to talk about the risk the affair poses to the power dynamics on the team or any number of factors, I also really liked that he just accepts where she is, and—most importantly—does not offer her advice beyond examining herself and taking her own advice. A massive part of being in a relationship with another person (a close relationship of any nature) is figuring out how to support that person without necessarily having to be happy about every single thing they do. It’s so important that Ted connects what she’s just told him about Sam back to what she told him last season about her plot with the club. These both feel like truth bombs to him, and he is at least safe enough to make that clear. These are both things that impact him, things that shape how he sees her and maybe even how he sees himself. He cares about her and is capable of taking in this information; he has room for it. But it’s not something he takes lightly, and neither does she. See you next year.

Tumblr user chainofclovers and the TV show Ted Lasso. My brain is going wild thinking about all the ways the next “truth bomb” conversation could go in 3x11 or whatever. Maybe they go full consistent parallel and Rebecca confesses something else, this time about her and Ted or some other big future thing that impacts him as much or more as the other confessions have. (The same but different.) Maybe the tables turn and Ted has something to confess to her. While the 1x9 conversation ended in an embrace and the 2x11 conversation ended with a bit more physical distance (understandable given the current state of their relationship and the nature of the discussion), the verbal ending of both conversations involved voices moving into a sexier lower register while zooming in to talk specifically about their connection to each other, so I have to assume there will be some consistencies in s3 even if the circumstances will be completely different. I don’t really know where I’m going with this and I obviously will go insane if I sustain this level of anticipatory energy until Fall 2022 but I have a feeling my brain and heart are going to try!

Sam and Rebecca. I know there’s been a lot of criticism about whether this show is being at all realistic about the power dynamics and inevitable professional issues this relationship would create. On some level, I agree; I like that pretty much everyone who knows about the affair has been kind so far, but you can be kind and still ask someone to contend with reality. But I also think that in nearly every plot point on this show, the narrative is driven by how people feel about their circumstances first and foremost. (It’s why the whiteboard in the coaching office and the football commentators tell us more about how the actual football season is going from a points perspective than anyone else.) This episode reminded me how few people know about Sam and Rebecca, and how much their time together so far has been time spent in bed. The private sphere. I thought this episode really expertly brought the public sphere into it, not—thank goodness—through a humiliating exposure or harsh judgment but through an opportunity for Sam that illustrates not only all his potential to do great things but how much Rebecca’s professional position and personal feelings are in conflict with that. Could stand in the way of that. I don’t have a strong gut feeling about where this will go, but I do think Sam’s face in his final scene of this episode is telling. He started the episode wanting to see Rebecca (his most recent text to her was about wanting to connect), and Edwin’s arrival from Ghana really exploded his sense of what is possible for his life. If he’d arrived home to Rebecca sitting on his stoop prior to meeting Edwin, he’d have been delighted. Now he’s conflicted, and whatever decision he makes, he has to reckon with the reality that he cannot have everything he wants. No matter what. And Rebecca—she has taken Ted’s advice and is attempting to be honest about the fact that she can’t control Sam’s decisions but hopes he doesn’t go, and even saying that much feels so inappropriate. And I’m not sure how much she realizes about the inappropriateness of the position she’s putting him in, although maybe she’s getting there considering she exits the scene very quickly. I’ve honestly loved Rebecca’s arc this season. I think it’s realistic that she got obsessed with the intimacy she thought she could find in her phone. I think it’s realistic that her professional and personal ambitions are inappropriately linked. (They certainly were for Rupert. It’s been years since she’s known anything different; even if she’s done some significant recovery work to move on from her abusive marriage and figure out her own priorities, she’s got a long way to go.) I know there are people who will read this interaction between Rebecca and Sam as a totally un-self-aware thing on the part of “the show” or “the writers” but what I saw is two people who enjoyed being in bed together and now have to deal with the reality that they’re in two different places in their lives and that one has great professional power over the other. If that wasn’t in the show, I wouldn’t be able to see it or feel so strongly about it.

Edwin and Sam. I really enjoyed all the complexities of this interaction. Edwin is promising a future for Sam that doesn’t quite exist yet, though he has the financial means to make it happen. He offers this by constructing for Sam a Nigerian—and Ghanaian—experience unlike anything he’s found in London. Sam is amazed that this experience is here, and Edwin’s response is to explain to him that the experience is not here. Not really. The experience in Africa. Sam has of course connected to the other Nigerian players on the team, but this is something else entirely. I’m really curious if Sam is going to end up feeling that what Edwin has to offer is real or not. That sense of home and connection? So real. And so right that he would want to experience that homecoming and would want to be part of building that experience for others. But at the end of the day, he went to a museum full of actors and a pop-up restaurant full of “friends,” and is that constructed authenticity as a stand-in for a real homecoming more or less real than the home he’s building in Richmond? (With other players who stand in solidarity with him, and with well-meaning white coaches who say dumb stuff sometimes, and an a probably-doomed love interest, and a feeling that he should put chicken instead of goat in the jollof, and the ability to stand out as an incredible player on a rising team.)

Nate and everyone. But also Nate and no one. Nate’s story is so painful and I’m so anxious for next week’s episode. For a long time I’ve felt that a lot of Nate’s loyalties are with Richmond, and a lot of his ambitions are around having given so much to this place without getting a lot back, and having a strong feeling that he’s the answer to Richmond’s future. But now I’m not so sure; his ambitions have transferred into asking everyone he knows (except Ted, of course), if they want to be “the boss.” But Nate is all tactics and no communication. When he wants to suggest a new play to Ted, he hasn’t yet learned to read Ted’s language to learn that Ted is eager to hear what he has to say. And while Ted has been really unfortunately distracted about Nate and dismissive of him this season, he clearly respects Nate’s approach to football and was appreciative of the play. Nate just can’t hear that. The suit is such a great metaphor of all the things Nate is in too much pain to be able to hear clearly. Everyone digs at him for wearing the suit Ted bought him (including Will, who’s got to get little cuts in where he can, because he’s got to be sick of the way Nate treats him), but when he gets fed up his solution isn’t to go out on his own and find more clothes he likes; he asks Keeley to help him. And then crosses a major line with her...and no matter how kind she was about it, she was clearly not okay. Everything is going to blow up, and I’m so curious as to whether Nate will end up aligning himself with Rupert in some way or if he’s going to end up screwed over by Rupert and in turn try to screw over his colleagues even worse than he’s already done. Or try desperately to make amends even though it could be too late for some. Either way, I’m fully prepared to feel devastated. (And there’s no way I’m giving up on this character. If he’s able to learn, I truly believe he could end up seeking forgiveness and forging a happier existence for himself. Someday. Like in season 3 or something.)

Ted and Trent. Trent deciding to reveal his source to Ted is a huge deal, and I’m torn between so many emotions about this exposé. I’m glad it’s a Trent Crimm piece and not an Ernie Loundes piece. I’m glad that Trent made the decision to warn Ted and let him know that Nate is his source. I fear—but also hope—that this exposure will set off a chain reaction of Ted learning about some of the things he’s missed while suffering through a really bad bout with his dad-grief and panic disorder. The things Ted doesn’t know would devastate him. I wonder if Ted will want to figure out a way to make Nate feel heard and reconcile with him, and I wonder how that will be complicated if/when he realizes Nate has severely bullied Will, gets more details on how he mistreated Colin, etc. I wonder if Rebecca, whom Nate called a “shrew” right before she announced his promotion, will be in the position of having to ask Ted to fire him, or overriding Ted and doing it herself. So many questions! I have a feeling it’ll go in some wild yet very human-scaled, emotionally-nuanced direction, and I’ll be like “Oh my GOD!” but also like “Oh, of course.”

This VERY SERIOUS AND EMOTIONAL REVIEW has a major flaw, which is that none of the above conversations include mention of the absolute love letter to N*SYNC. Ted passionately explains how things should go while dancing ridiculously! Will turns on the music and starts gyrating! Roy nods supportively! Beard shouts the choreography like the Broadway choreographer of teaching grown men who play football how to dance like a boy band. Everyone is so incredibly proud when they nail it. I love them.

I cannot believe next week is the end. For now. I’m kind of looking forward to letting everything settle during the hiatus, but I’ve really loved the ride.