#i meant to answer this last night. i fell asleep.
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ssentimentals ¡ 3 days ago
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Hii can i request mingyu + hurt prompt #34? Thankssss
hi sweets! thank you for requesting, hopefully you will like it! 💜
hurt prompts: 'the things you said yesterday... did you mean them?'
someone is caressing your hand. it's a nice feeling to wake up, especially when you know who is responsible for said action. mingyu's face is the first thing you see when you open your eyes and you smile a little. mingyu doesn't smile back and memories of last night rush in, reminding you why you're waking beside him and not in his arms. before panic rises, you remind yourself that mingyu is caressing your hand gently now, so everything can't be that mad.
'morning,' you whisper, afraid to talk in a normal voice for some reason.
'morning.' mingyu repeats and clears his throat. 'slept well?'
you don't really remember how you fell asleep; probably knocked out from crying and fighting. arguments with mingyu were rare but whenever they did happen, they sucked all the energy out of you, leaving you drained and exhausted. truth to be told, you don't even remember coming to the bedroom, so mingyu probably carried you here once you fell asleep in the living room.
'not really,' you reply, not feeling rested at all. 'you?'
he shakes his head. when you first started dating, you both promised each other to never go to bed angry, so what happened last night is an exception of sorts. 'the things you said yesterday... did you mean them?' mingyu asks quietly, voice muffled by the pillow.
your mouth opens but nothing comes out. to your horror, you don't even remember about which things mingyu is talking exactly - a lot of stuff was said yesterday and not all of it was said due to anger or frustration. but mingyu is sensitive, always has been in a much more delicate headspace than you, so you tiptoe around the question, looking for the right answer while also staying honest: 'any of the mean and angry words - no. i love you, gyu, i'd never actually mean any of those. but what i said about the whole thing, like in the beginning, what made me upset in the first place.. yeah, i meant that. i stand by it even now.'
mingyu doesn't say anything at first. he just stares at your hands, chewing on his bottom lip, thinking about your answer. you both treasure honesty the most, so he knows you're being sincere. 'okay.' he settles for in the end, taking a deep breath. 'i also didn't mean everything i said after we moved from the kitchen to the living room.'
you smile and hesitantly interlace your fingers together. 'i know, gyu.'
he nods again and squeezes and when he does that, you feel like you can breathe again. if mingyu is not declining physical contact, if he's still here then you two can work it out. 'we don't have to do it now,' you say, not wanting to get up. 'we can just lay here for a while.'
sigh that mingyu lets out on this is full of relief. 'yes. yes- yeah. please.'
you both move in sync, slotting your bodies together until it's impossible to tell where one ends and another one begins. 'sleep a bit more for now,' mingyu whispers, holding you tight. 'i'll be here when you wake up.'
a/n: request your own here! <3 - nini
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itsmrshamilton ¡ 3 days ago
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No Apologies | LH44
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summary: tensions between fem!reader and Lewis rise to an all-time high, forcing one of them to make a very important decision about their relationship. (Angst galore!)
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Y/n was falling asleep on the couch when she heard the keys jingle and the door handle turn. She jolted upright and moved to find the remote to the tv. It was playing a romance movie that she'd been looking forward to watching in theatres but hadn't found the time. When it was released in HD she gave up trying to plan the outing and instead picked a quiet evening to watch, except now she'd missed the whole thing. She sighed in defeat as the end credits began to roll and turned the tv off. She'd have to try again in two weeks when her schedule cleared.
The door was pushed open and in shuffled her husband with a tog bag and rolling suitcase. He froze when he noticed her disheveled state in the dimly lit living room. She stretched out her back then stood up to face him.
"Hey." He whispered, still rooted to his spot. He took in her unruly hair, tired eyes, pursed lips, and wrinkled satin pajamas. She looked like she should have been in bed. And she could have been if he had arrived home at the time he said he would.
"It's 1 am." Is all she said. Arms hanging loosely at her sides, pedicured toes pressing hard into the floorboards to prevent her from doing something she'd regret. She needed answers first.
He didn't reply immediately and the silence grew as her patience diminished.
"1 am, Lewis! I've been up worried because I expected your car in the garage by 10 last night- Is your phone off?!" She whispered harshly at him. Her toes began to hurt and cramp.
Lewis let out a deep sigh and looked away from her watering eyes. He felt bad but he really couldn't do this now. His back was aching and he still had to work tomorrow.
"I couldn't get out of a dinner and the drinks kept coming."
"You're drinking again?" Her hands clenched.
"No, Y/n. Of course not." He huffed in annoyance and removed his jacket.
He looked back at her when he heard her scoff. She glared at him for a second before walking off to the stairs in the corridor. She wanted to talk to Lewis properly. Have a sit down and truly open up but he made it so hard for her to sit and listen when he did things like that.
Lewis sighed once more when she left the room. He was used to her walking off mid argument but this time he was upset that she accused him of drinking again. He thought she knew him better than that. He locked the front door and moved his suitcase to the corner of the room then took his duffle bag upstairs. In their shared master bedroom, Y/n was already under the covers. He wasn't sure if she was awake or not so he took his belongings to the en-suite bathroom to shower and get ready for bed. Upon returning to the room, he was very sure that she was asleep. Her pillow had been abandoned and her small face was smooshed into the mattress. The sight made him feel more guilty. She must have been really tired before she decided to wait up for him.
He climbed in beside her and pulled her close. Her features scrunched in disagreement as her head rested on his tattooed chest, while his big arms wrapped around her figure. She let out a soft snore when he stopped moving and began to stroke her back. He hated fighting with her but it had become a part of their daily routine.
He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "I love you, Y/n."
And stared at the ceiling until he fell asleep.
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Y/n woke up to an empty bed with the sun high in the sky which meant that they both slept in - Lewis probably because he was out so late and Y/n because her son was at a sleepover with a friend from school.
She stretched and took a second to think about last night. At the moment she felt tired and cranky from running errands yesterday then staying up to wait for him. Thinking about it all made the frustration bubble up again but her growling stomach reminded her of her priorities. Sighing, she got up to get ready for the day, splashing her face with water and brushing her teeth before making her way downstairs in her pjs.
It smelt faintly of pancakes and there were loud sounds of doors being slammed. When she got to the large pink and white kitchen she saw a plate of pancakes on the island, along with a small bowl of yoghurt and fruit. Her husband was crouched, digging furiously through one of the lower cupboards. She took in the state of the rest of the kitchen - sink filled with utensils, fruit peels all over the cutting board, sticky cupboard handles everywhere. She felt very confused by the scene before her, so much so that she began to feel a bit of anger deep down.
"What's going on?" She asked.
He jumped at the sound of her voice and faced her with a frown. She frowned in return, not liking the energy he was giving from the get-go. He let out a loud sigh, leaning back against the counter and gestured half-heartedly to the plate on the island in front of her.
"I was making you breakfast to, uh, apologise," he rubbed his beard. "But I couldn't find the juicer to make orange juice so now it's gone cold."
Her face softened at his admission and her anger slowly dissipated. He was trying to please her.
He slapped his hands on his thighs then straightened up. His face still held the frown but was quickly darkening in frustration, transforming into something more mean. "I would have made you coffee but I couldn't find the coffee machine either."
"I gave it away." She stated calmly. His eyebrows raised in surprise.
"And the juicer?"
She pulled the yoghurt salad closer. "On one of the shelves in the storage room."
"Would have been nice of you to mention that earlier." He grumbled, looking away in annoyance. She stiffened.
"Oh? How? By calling you on the ÂŁ900 phone you don't use?" Her tone was clipped. The calmness she had earlier fading away very quickly. She was tired of this dance with Lewis - creating a new problem to get away from the consequences of the old one.
"Nothing is where it's supposed to be in this kitchen!" He gripped the edge of the counter.
"Because I don't want things that I don't use in my kitchen, Lewis!" She slapped the island counter nearly knocking the bowl over but managed to straighten it.
He stared at her, in disbelief of her tone and the volume of her voice. She eyed him back taking careful breaths.
"Your kitchen." He repeated. She started picking off the fruit from the yogurt and eating it slowly.
"Yes, my kitchen. I am the one who makes breakfast, lunch and dinner in here every day, all week." She replied bluntly. The fruits were now finished but they had taken the edge of the hanger she had felt when she woke up.
Lewis just looked at her in silence. The disbelief wiped off his face and replaced with a neutral look. A poker face he used when he tried to find appropriate responses for difficult interview questions. He looked at his wife leaning against the marble island she'd picked, in the kitchen she'd decorated when they first moved in, and he realised that he had no response to her statement. He didn't want to fight today. He'd planned to wake up earlier than her and prepare her favourite meal then spend the rest of the day showering her with kisses and attention in order to make up for coming home late. But then he couldn't find the juicing machine he'd bought for her last Christmas and when he went to look for the coffee machine he'd received as a gift from a business partner, he couldn't find that either and it just set him off. He wanted just one thing to go right.
It had been such an exhausting week, and all he wanted was to come home on Friday evening and crawl into bed. Instead, one of the executives at the meeting suggested they go out for dinner to discuss any final details before the contracts for the films were signed. They wouldn't stop ordering drinks, he'd missed his flight and by the time he landed in England, it was already 12am. He would've called Y/n to update her on his times, but he knew it was her night off and thought she was already asleep. He really didn't mean to keep her up.
He sighed softly as he took her in. Bonnet sitting slightly askew, satin pajamas wrinkled and her usual jewelry sitting all pretty on her dark skin. She looked down at her plate.
"Thank you for the pancakes." She said softly. He pushed off the counter and held her face in his hands, tilting her head up to look at him. "I wasn't in the mood for orange juice anyways."
He smiled softly at her comment, taking in her big brown eyes with dark circles, broad nose, and her full lips. He pressed a couple of kisses to her lips and she smiled against him.
She couldn't be mad at him now. He was trying, and that's all she felt she could ask for. She took his hand feeling the cold metal of his wedding ring and led him upstairs to their bedroom. He was silent all the way so she looked back to see him smirking at her. She smiled slyly knowing that he thought he was going to get rewarded for his actions but really she had something else in mind. Once they entered the large bedroom she walked over to the messy bed and grabbed a pillow only to thrust it at his chest and lean in.
"Do you mind making the bed while I get ready, my love?" She whispered with a smirk. The eager look on his face fell away, and he rolled his eyes as she walked off giggling.
"I'm pretty sure we pay people to do this!" He called after but still carried on with the task.
She was getting ready in their walk-in closet when she heard him come in to change as well.
"So tell me about your week, seeing as you've been at work since last Monday." He eyed her warily. She tood her ground.
"Lew, I just worry that you work too much and that it'll strain you. I know you have business ventures, but what happened to taking a break after retiring from F1?"
He stood up abruptly and moved to get a t-shirt out of his drawers. He was tired of this conversation coming up every week. "I need to do something to keep your lifestyle going." He muttered lowly, but she heard him and stood shocked with her hands on her hips.
He did not just say what she thought she heard. To her face. She felt her neck heat up from anger.
"Are you calling me a gold digger, Lewis?"
He didn't turn around to look at her but stood with his head bowed. His lack of reaction made her angrier.
"When I met you, you had more luxury than any man your age needed, and you're talking about supporting my lifestyle?!" She felt like screaming but chose to march out of the closet instead.
"How do I know that you're actually working and not off with women, huh? Finding a better gold digger to replace me with?" She yelled. He followed after her and they stood on opposite sides of the neat bed.
"Are you out of your mind?" He hissed. "I dont go out galivanting. I do all I can to come home on time to you and our son." He was so tired of these fights at the most inconvenient moments.
"And I'm tired of that!" She threw up her arms. "I'm tired of being home all day cleaning up, taking care of Leo, always waiting for you. I want to do more. I want to finally start a life of my own and have something in the world that I can call my work."
He stared at her as she swung her arms around in an attempt to get her point across. The room was beginning to feel like it was too small for the both of them and their words. He felt like he was being choked.
"But this is what we agreed to. What about the rest of the plan to have more kids and then move my parents closer so we could have more support?" He replied, confused about what she was saying.
"I don't want that plan - that life, anymore. It's not going to work for me." She looked away.
"How can we be together if we can't even follow a simple plan?" This conversation was scaring him a little. They had had arguments, yes, but none addressed the topics like this. This sense of defeat that he felt was new. He ran his hand through his braids, and her eyes softened when she recognised his panic.
"You haven't even asked what I want to do yet. Somehow, everything always ends up being about and for you. Like our marriage." She whispered that last part.
"I don't need to know what you want because it's not what you said last time - what we agreed on right after we got married."
She threw her head back and let out an outraged cry. He wasn't listening to her at all. He didn't want to hear what she was trying to say. "Is our entire marriage just based on this plan of yours?!"
"Our marriage is built on trust! Trust that we'll both make it work." He was yelling at her now, and she was not impressed.
"What about the time I trusted you to be there for me and our son? I wouldn't doubt the original script if you stuck to it in the first place." She sat on the big bed with her back to him. She could still hear his heavy breathing.
"Y/n, if nothing I do for us works for you, then go. Start your new life. Leave all we've created behind." He shot back.
She froze with her gaze on the tiled floor. "Go?"
He confidently continued. "Yeah, but if you step out, I sue you. For everything, custody and all. I won't have you disrupting Leo's life because you want to live in some fantasy world where everything goes your way and abandon our family."
She whipped her head around at this. The audacity of this old man to speak to her like this. After she had given her all to him and made his retirement plan possible. She had stuck with him through everything. Her life falling apart, his following suit, then through the rebuilding of his while hers stayed stagnant. She was so angry she could quite literally see red.
"Sue for custody? You're fucking with me, Lewis. Who's going to look after our son while you're out entertaining fat men and their fatter wallets - your parents? Your dad who raised you so well by pushing you so hard you lost the little emotional connection you two had? Hm? Is that the man you want raising my child??"
He looked away with hurt written on his face.
"Or maybe your mum? The woman who left you with your father to have more kids with another man and raise them better. She probably saw that Hamilton men are nothing but work."
He felt his heart hammering loudly in his chest. He couldn't believe the words coming out of Y/n's mouth. She was his best friend at some point in their relationship, but somehow here she was, insulting at him from their marital bed.
He sniffled loudly before looking her in the eye. "Like your parents are any better. You're forgetting they barely contact you since you moved out."
"They don't like you, and you know that. I moved out to marry you, and they didn't approve. It's cruel of you to bring that up."
He scoffed at that. "And what? You don't think my relationship with my father is a touchy subject?"
There was a never-ending silence in the room. All they had ever worked for sat between them in that silence. Their first kiss, first night together, their vows, the birth of their son. All of it felt fake after the words they had exchanged. It was hurting them both, yet neither one wanted to apologise. This was unlike the other arguments, he realised. It was starting to look like there was no coming back from this fight.
She looked away from him and wiped at her eyes quickly. His heart was sore it felt like he couldn't breathe properly.
"I wish I had noticed earlier on that you don't care about me. Definitely not in the ways you said you did." She said softly.
Tears slowly roll down his face. When he opened his mouth to respond, he was interrupted by the sound of the buzzer, indicating that someone was at the gate.
"That's Nathan's mother dropping off Leo from the sleepover." She stood up to leave.
Lewis left the room before she could and made his way downstairs. Outside, he took a second to wipe the tears and took a deep breath, then opened the gate to let Nathan's mother drive in. She was a pale woman with short red hair and a warm smile. One of Y/n's close friends around here.
"Lewis! It's good to see you." She opened the back door for his boy and moved to the boot to get a small bag. "Thank you for letting him come over."
Leo ran over to Lewis to wrap his small arms around his father's legs. "Dad!"
"Hello, my boy!" He received the bag from the woman. "Thanks for having him, Casey. I appreciate you dropping him off."
She smiled once more but took a second to eye him properly. He could see her questioning his red eyed and wet lashes. Finally, she waved and got into the car.
"Goodbye, Leo! See you Monday!" Shouted a ginger boy from the backseat.
"Goodbye, Nathan!" Returned Leo at equal volume. Once the gate rolled to a stop, Lewis lifted the small boy over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
"I've missed you, Champ. Look how much you've grown!"
Leo squeeled in excitement, happy to have his dad home to play with. His mum was fun to hang around, but she was often too tired to throw him around like his dad when they played. He laughed loudly when his dad bounced him with every step he took towards the house.
Lewis felt the tension leave his body now that his boy was in his arms. He'd spend the weekend making up for the week he wasn't home. He began thinking of all the things they could do as he ducked through the doorway but froze as soon as he spotted Y/n. She stood in the middle of the foyer with two large bags beside her.
"Y/n ..." Lewis whispered. She eyed him silently. Her face not giving away her emotions. He lowered his son to the floor and watched as he ran to his mother.
"Mum!" She crouched down to receive one of his sweet hugs. "Nathan got a new pet bunny and it has its own room and its so big and-"
"Oh, wow, that's all so interesting, my sweets, but mummy needs you to use the loo then grab your favourite toys before we leave." She smiled at him so as to not scare him. He smiled right back at her and ran off to complete the tasks.
"Y/n, what are you doing?" Lewis asked her. She straightened up and glared at him silently. She could barely keep it together and was afraid of exploding angrily in front of Leo. She began to hoist the bags onto her body as Leo came downstairs. His arms were full of teddies and toy cars. He walked over to Lewis and raised them up as a gesture for his father to help him carry a few. Y/n saw Lewis' face crumble further.
"Leo love, dad won't be coming with us. Say goodbye so we can leave for Aunt Sofie's house." Leo looked at his mum with confusion, and she felt her heart ache. His big eyes bounced between his parents, trying to process the words.
"Dad's not coming?" He mumbled.
"Aunt Sofie has been asking to see you!" She tried to cheer him up but he wasn't having it and pursed his lips. "We'll call him at bedtime for a story, yeah?" He nodded at this and she breathed out a sigh of relief.
"Bye, dad."
Lewis crouched to receive a hug and kiss. "Bye, Champ. See you soon, yeah." He slowly released Leo.
"Okay, go climb into mum's car." She said and moved to follow behind him.
"Y/n-"
She turned to face her husband. He was teary-eyed and pale. Eyes red and braids a mess. That didn't phase her, though. He was lucky to get a proper goodbye from Leo because she should have left long ago during one of his trips.
"You can go ahead and sue me now, Lewis. Let's see how that plays out."
With that, she packed the bags into the boot and got into the driver's seat.
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Wow🙊Whose side are you taking? Part 2 soon?
I do not consent to altering my work, theft, copying, or reposting onto other sites.
Thanks for reading this far. Please interact before you leave🫶
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remiratboi ¡ 4 hours ago
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Yandere!UnknownMonsterXHumanGNFatReader
SFW
CW: stalking, yandere, obsession, fear, controlling obsession.
Repost of one of my incomplete monstober posts.
You dropped a crumpled wad of bills on the counter as the clerk eyed your driver’s license suspiciously. You cursed your own laziness at forgetting to change the age. You definitely could not pass for 49. You hadn’t been as thorough after your last place fell through.
The clerks eyes drifted from the ID to the too much money you’d dropped on the counter. You stepped away to pick up your luggage, making it clear you weren’t asking for change. The clerk squinted at you one more time before handing back your ID. He deftly made the money disappear, and a worn key with a motel keychain replaced it.
You nodded once, your mutual understanding a silent one. You had chosen this motel for exactly that reason. They were known for not looking too closely.
You made your way down the broken pavement from the main office back to your beat up Subaru. You didn’t even know what model it was. It had been cheap, and so far hadn’t broken down in over 3000 kms. Thats really all you could ask for.
You followed the tacky printed map the clerk had given you to the section you’d be staying in. It was one of those middle of nowhere, off the highway, motel “resorts”. The kind that boasted “cabins” but meant “run down, one room shacks”.
The outer screen door screeched as you pulled it open. You rolled your eyes. The shack was exactly what you expected; filthy, plain and dated. You didn’t care. It was just one more stop on your chaotic escape to nowhere.
You didn’t bother unpacking your bags. A lukewarm shower and a solid bed to sleep in would be enough. The mattress was hard when you tried to fall asleep that night.
***
You awoke, several hours later. The red, white and yellow of the motel sign flickered through slat blinds. You were cozy in your blankets and you drifted in and out drowsily. You wondered why you couldn’t seem to fully fall back asleep.
The air seemed to be sucked from the room as you woke fully and realized you weren’t alone. You still didn’t stir. You tried to even your breathing, but there was no point.
“Must we play this game, my love?” A deep, smooth voice spoke from nearby. You didn’t respond. “This place is filthy. Wouldn’t you rather come home with me, dove?”
Your skin crawled. Home
As if you shared one. He spoke like you were old lovers having a minor quarrel.
He sighed and you heard a step. He had moved closer.
“I’m getting tired of this. I’ve told you it’s useless to run.” The creature spoke softly, alluringly. Oh how easy it would be to give in. To give up.
“I will beat you.” You muttered from the bed. A human likely wouldn’t have been able to hear you. But he could. You knew he could.
He tsked and reached an arm forward. Your hair stood on end. You felt fluttering fingertips and just the slightest bite of claw down the side of your face. You still squeezed your eyes shut.
“It’s not a competition, dove.” He answered. Then you felt him lean down, lean close. His voice came from just above your face. “And if it was, it still wouldn’t be. You will never escape. I will always find you.” Danger filled his words. They teetered between a promise and a threat. “It doesn’t matter what you do, how far you run, how good of a job you do at erasing yourself. All I need is the barest trace. One single whisper of your scent on the air.” He took in a shuddering breath at the mention of your scent. “I. Will. Always. Find. You.” He growled the last words, punctuating each one.
He leaned forward and crushed your lips under his. It was passionate and desperate. His hand, claws, whatever, gripped both sides of your face and held you to him. Your eyes flew open and you were met with him, the creature. His face haunted your every moment, and here it was, pressed against yours.
Finally he pulled away and stared into your eyes. You could just barely make his out in the dim light. A fire blazed behind his horizontal pupils.
“You’re my mate. You’re mine.”
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necrotic-nephilim ¡ 2 months ago
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for ask game: casstim, post war games
Tim's first heat starts in Bludhaven and, alienated from all familiar bonds, he invites Cass into the nest. but it turns out that despite everyone thinking Cass was a beta or delta, she's an alpha stuck with the presentation due to starvation as a child. and being close to an omega in the heat provokes her first rut.
for the ask game!
post-War Games CassTim my *beloved* god. especially with Omegaverse it's all so good bc i *love* playing with how Cass' upbringing could affect her presentation-
the isolation of everyone post-War Games is a lot of fun to play with, especially how it affects Tim and Cass. they don't see eye to eye about how things should've been handled. and worse, they're both grieving Steph. it makes being together awkward and full of long silences neither of them know how to fill. but without any other options and trying desperately to just fix things, Tim invites Cass to his nest. mostly because he doesn't *expect* her to say yes. i like the idea of Cass being pretty averse to all things secondary gender because of her own complex about (assumedly) not having one. everyone defaults to assuming she's a beta, but there's never been any proper confirmation. so it's a last-ditch effort for Tim to find *any* kind of companionship after everyone he's lost. his first heat has him feeling awkward and vulnerable. so when Cass says yes bc she's also just lonely and vulnerable, he's so started he didn't expect it. he happily makes room for her in his nest, but it's a bit awkward at first. Cass is just going through a checklist, making sure Tim is eating and drinking enough, cuddling him, but still holding an emotional distance. part of it is her unresolved feelings and part of it is her stunted presentation, it all makes her very confused and awkward no matter how much Tim tries to connect to her.
i'm personally a big fan of heats not being "out of your mind horniness" but more so being "emotional distress and physical discomfort". sure Tim is horny and could really use a good fuck rn, but mostly he's just cramping and craving an emotional connection, especially as his first heat without a real pack. the Batfam have vaguely acted as a pack before, but now they're so fractured it sends Tim's hormones on an emotional fritz. he doesn't like that he's an omega having his first heat, he doesn't like that his pseudo-pack is such a mess, and he doesn't like how something is clearly wrong with Cass. she's trying to hide it, but Tim can tell she's getting more and more uncomfortable the more they hang out in his nest, just watching movies. she keeps shifting around and getting up for some reason. and the worst part is, *she* doesn't know why either. she doesn't know why Tim's scent is so distracting and why she's suffocating in this need to protect and hold him. she almost feels bad about it, like she's objectifying an omega in heat who just wants her company. Cass doesn't fully understand social dynamics, but she knows omegas are seen as vulnerable and fragile during heat and Tim came to *her* for help, and now she's messing it up, somehow. she can smell the distress on his scent as he's so worried about her when she's the one who should be taking care of him and clearly, she's doing a bad job of it, no matter how much Tim is trying to convince her otherwise and just talk to her.
i think it's fun if Tim notices first. Cass wouldn't have any idea what these feelings are and she's often so disconnected from her body's signals she's not processing the attraction and arousal from her rut, just this burning need to protect Tim, which she had already. it's when Tim has his face buried in the crook of her neck that he frowns and actually smells her. and he awkwardly asks if she's an alpha and Cass has to tell him no, bc everyone knows she's assumed to be a beta. and so Tim has to very awkwardly tell her that he's pretty sure she's an alpha and he's *definitely* sure she's going into rut. and now Cass is *more* uncomfortable. because she's so used to her body being used to hurt people. and she's heard the stories, how alphas go into ruts around omegas and use to as an excuse to assault them. and that's the *last* thing she wants to do when Tim has trusted her with such a vulnerable moment. i'm just very fond of Cass fearing intimacy because she doesn't know how to use her body for pleasure, only for pain. she tries to pull away, saying she'll find someone else to keep Tim company. but Tim is promising her it's okay, promising he knows she wouldn't hurt him and that they don't *have* to do anything. his instincts are begging for sex, but he won't push for that unless he knows she wants it too.
the sex takes a while for them to build up to. maybe Tim's heat lasts a couple days and Cass is in and out or her rut the whole time as her body adjusts to presenting as an alpha. they're helping each other through it. Cass is trying *hard* to hold back her urges, she's taken the worst kind of pain the world has to offer, she can handle some hormones. but the more Tim's heat lasts the more the nest smells like both of them and she finally breaks, whispering a soft "please" in TIm's ear, and that's all Tim needs to understand. the sex is taken slow and a little awkward. Cass functionally understands how sex works, but concepts of foreplay are utterly foreign to her. i like the idea of Cass being the dom, but still needing guidance from Tim as to what feels good for him, how she should touch him. i love the idea of Tim guiding her to eat him out bc it'll make it easier for him to fuck him and Cass enjoys giving Tim head so much for the taste and all the noises that he makes that she drives him into overstimulation, coming over and over on her tongue until he's sure he's gonna pass out. she fucks him hard, but her words are so gentle in his ear and it's such a dizzying contrast. when Cass finally knots Tim i think she cries. the overwhelming emotion just finally gets to her and they hold each other like that while Cass cries and feels loved.
in the aftermath, they *try* to go back to normal. both of them agree mating would be a bad idea that could overcomplicate things. but they can't seem to stay away from each other. they end up sleeping in each other's beds, always visiting each other. it's very normal for Tim to wake up to Cass crawling through his window to climb under his sheets. they smell like each other so much that everyone can tell Tim is seeing an alpha but no one realizes it's Cass for a while because no one realizes she's an alpha. the truth eventually comes out because Tim and Cass end up glued at each other's hip. it takes a few years before they officially mate, but everyone knows it's an unofficial official sort of thing. Tim's heats are always spent with Cass and they're ferally protective of each other. they definitely don't have an easy relationship- there's so much unresolved trauma between the two of them that they struggle with emotional vulnerability with each other. sometimes they end up arguing and not speaking for days and *everyone* can feel the tension. but they always make up in the end bc they will always seek each other out for company and comfort.
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outtoshatter ¡ 8 months ago
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Happy belated birthday!! Hope you had a great day ☺️
thank youuuu!
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khytal ¡ 2 years ago
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you can say it. youve known clay terran for hundreds of years. speak your piece
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they call him clay terran because he’s as old as the earth itself and I was there when he was born. we are timeless and he isn’t really dead. how’s that for cosmic deity clay lore—(I am forcibly removed via defenestration)
ok being silly aside I mostly said (implied) that as a joke; I’ve known about clay for all of 10 months and it’s only thanks to the assistant au that he’s started to become a real character to me lol
I said this about sei shura but original characters are really hard for me to bring to life. if I don’t have a solid grasp on how I think someone would act, then my headcanons get scattered and too contradictory with one another. which is why I actually struggle with how I interpret clay, believe it or not
like yes I love mr cardboard cutout but I don’t really think about the finer details and smaller hcs unless someone figuratively holds me at gunpoint and asks lmao. so he still feels kinda nebulous to me
but assistant clay is completely different because his involvement in the plot means he’s constantly interacting with characters we’ve never seen him meet. so I’m always thinking about what he’d be like in every situation, which leads to his personality being more developed
basically canon clay is the fanbase’s oc, but asisstant clay is my oc, and I may not know canon clay but I sure do know assistant clay. if that makes sense lmao
my interpretation of canon clay obviously bleeds into assistant clay (and vice versa, a little bit) but they’re still distinct from each other x)
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honey-dont ¡ 1 year ago
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Def a trademark is like... Sharp edges and angles... Shaped!
yay shapes <33
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iguessitsjustme ¡ 7 months ago
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Hi rae!!! For the violent ask game 7 and 14🩷🩷
Heyyyy
7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?
This is a tough one because I don’t typically let the fandom influence my opinions on shows or characters. There are definitely characters that I think the fandom could calm down on (again, staring at the MDL comments) but I typically have my thoughts on the character and even if I dislike how the general fandom acts, I don’t start to hate characters because of it. I’m pretty good at separating my feelings on the fandom and my feelings on shows/characters/whathaveyou. Anyone that knows me irl will tell you that I like what I like and I don’t let superficial things ruin that for me.
14. that one thing you see in fics all the time
It has been a loooooong time since I read fics regularly. Part of the reason is because there just aren’t fics for the shows I want fics for but I do occasionally read them. Especially if it’s recommended to me. But I guess I’ll go back a few years to when I was reading fics regularly and say people sometimes just get the characters wrong. I get different interpretations of characters, but there were times that I genuinely thought they just wrote about the wrong character and got names confused. But whenever I disagreed with the characterization, I’d just back out and find a new fic. It didn’t happen very often so there were plenty for me to read that got the characters perfect.
Choose Violence Ask Game
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schauerromantik ¡ 1 year ago
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I'm happy to hear that!!
I'm feeling quite good tbh. Thanks for asking 💕
aw that's good to hear!!! hope today is going well for u too <3
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gnabries ¡ 2 years ago
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i love u so much it physically pains me ........have i ever mentioned that
right back at you!!!
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roosterforme ¡ 5 months ago
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Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw Part 13 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: One night with Bradley leaves you wanting more of him in every way, and he's more than willing to make sure you're satisfied. But there shouldn't have been any other interruptions. Especially not when your newly established boyfriend was so willing to talk about the future.
Warnings: Fluff, angst, language, unprotected sex, oral sex, smut, Bradley in love, 18+
Length: 3300 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female teacher!Reader
Check out my masterlist for more! Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw masterlist
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You fell asleep with Bradley's big arm wrapped around you and the front of his naked body pressed to the back of yours. He stroked your skin and whispered the sweetest things next to your ear. Like how he was going to cook breakfast for you in the morning, and how he never wanted this weekend to end. Like how he had been falling for you for months.
You were worn out from sex in his bed and sex in the shower, and you yawned as you said, "I can't believe I just met my boyfriend a week ago."
He snorted softly and kissed the shell of your ear. "We've covered a lot of ground during that week. And we met way before that, Gorgeous. I knew you were perfect well before last Friday."
Bradley was too much, and all you could do was succumb to the warmth of his body all over yours as you dozed. You never slept this well, but especially not over the past few months. You'd found yourself always a little bit worried about Bradley's deployment when he was gone, and you were constantly wondering when you'd hear from him again. But right now, your body seemed to realize you were allowed to relax completely since he was with you. When you woke, it was to find the early morning sun shining through the curtains into the bedroom you already felt comfortable in after just a short time.
"Bradley," you murmured, his arm heavy against you. Then it tightened as he pulled you closer, and you smiled when your back met his chest. But you gasped softly when you felt his erection press against your thigh.
"Morning, Baby," he whispered in a deep rasp that left you seeing stars. His fingers were tracing the valley between your bare breasts, and his lips found your shoulder. "How'd you sleep?"
You needed to contain yourself. You'd already had him twice last night. You shouldn't be feeling like you needed him every waking minute all day long. But you did. "So good," you replied, and it came out as a soft moan that left his fingers trailing down your belly as you squeezed your thighs together in anticipation of his exploratory touch everywhere.
When you rubbed your leg back against his cock, you were rewarded with a grunt. When you did it again, he asked, "Will you let me taste you?"
The haze of sleep was still clouding your mind as he skimmed his fingers lower and lower. He'd already had his tongue in your mouth and all over your skin. He tasted you last night. But when he tucked his big hand between your thighs and cupped your pussy, tracing little shapes as he awaited an answer, you realized what he meant. And you realized how badly you wanted his mouth where his fingers were.
You turned your head back until you met his brown eyes. His cheeks were pink, his hair was a mess, and his lips were parted as he raised his eyebrow. "Yes," you whispered, and he was in motion. You rolled onto your back with a giggle and let your legs part, but he pushed them open wider with his hips as he settled on top of you.
"I'll bet you taste as sweet as you kiss," he murmured before letting his lips skim along yours. "Like fucking sugar."
Just when you tried to deepen the kiss, he pulled away, an excited expression on his face as he started to move down your body. A chill ran through you as your warm skin was exposed to the air, and Bradley took the time to nip at your breasts and belly before he was gently sucking on your inner thigh. Your pussy was spread for him as he eased your legs even further apart, and you let your fingers tangle in his hair as he said, "I have an idea. Something I've wanted to do for weeks."
"Yes," you whined as he kissed your clit softly.
"I didn't even tell you what I'm going to do," he replied, nuzzling his nose against you as he stroked your thighs with his fingers.
"I don't care," you said, back already arching slightly as you tugged on his hair. "I want you to do it."
He licked one long stripe through your pussy, moaning as he tasted you. "Holy hell. So fucking sweet." His mouth found your clit, and you squealed as he sucked until your nipples were furled and your heels were digging into his bed. When he released you, he looked up your body, met your eyes and said, "I want to make sure my pretty teacher knows her ABCs."
"What?" you gasped, head already spinning, but then he grinned a bit devilishly as he rubbed his stubbled cheek against your inner thigh. "I know my ABCs," you promised.
"We'll see," he replied. "There will be a quiz."
Bradley's big hands gripped your thighs, and his tongue swiped the letter A up and down and across your pussy. "Bradley!" you cried out as he kissed your clit softly and almost soothingly after making your hips buck.
"Next is B, for Bradley's," he rasped, and your belly clenched with desire as he drew the letter B with the tip of his tongue. Once again, he punctuated the letter with a soft kiss, and you had to grasp at his bedding to keep yourself as still as possible. His shoulders were broad and digging into your thighs, and he was smiling as you whimpered when he drew a smooth letter C.
"Oh fuck me," you whined, convinced you were dripping all over his sheets with need as he drew a D and an E.
"We can fuck in a minute," he replied, clearly unhurried as he drew a perfect F, G, H. When you started bucking, he took a break to kiss along your thighs and let his hands trail to your knees. 
The fact that you weren't even slightly self conscious as you demanded, "More," made you feel incredible, and you dug your fingers into his hair again. I, J, K, L and M were written with his tongue in such rapid succession, you were panting. "More." N, O, P, Q and R made you clench around nothing as your back arched and you stared at his headboard. You were trying to stay in control, but your orgasm was building with S, T and U. 
Your thighs were starting to tighten around his head, and he had to coax them further apart, giving you a little break as his nose grazed your clit. As soon as you relaxed your legs, you heard him murmur, "Good girl," before he flicked the letter V down to your opening and back up. The W had his tongue back on your clit, and his X and Y gave you a small reprieve before he traced the letter Z all through your pussy until you were shaking with need.
"Fuck." You were pleading with him as he brought his big body back above yours, bracing himself with his biceps as his heavy cock rested against your soaking, needy pussy.
He kissed your neck and your ear lazily as he whispered, "Quiz time. What was the letter B for?"
You sighed as he started to push his tip inside you. "Bradley's," you managed before he took your breath away with a deep thrust and a thumb to your clit. You came almost immediately from the fullness and the direct stimulation, and he devoured your mouth as your shaking hands found his shoulders. His thrusting was fluid and delicious just like his mouth had been, but now his tongue was tangled with yours. You just held on as tight as you could as you whined his name shamelessly.
"I want to cum inside you again," he grunted. "Please."
"Yes," you immediately agreed, clenching around his cock as you thought about the mess he'd made last night. 
As the rush of your pleasure started to recede, you watched his handsome features while he got closer and closer to his own orgasm, his eyes fixed on your face. When you brought your hand up to cup his cheek and touch his scars, he growled your name and made a mess of you all over again.
---------------------------
Bradley just had arguably the best night in recent memory. Or maybe ever. Now he had you in his kitchen at 9:00, and you were wearing nothing but his sweatshirt and his cum while you looked in the refrigerator for breakfast options. He stepped up behind you and wrapped one arm around your waist and let his chin rest on your shoulder. As you poked around at the gallon of milk and the carton of eggs, he murmured, "Want me to make you French toast and coffee, Gorgeous?"
"Absolutely," you practically moaned, pulling both items out and setting them on the counter. He worked around you, reaching down a baking dish and cinnamon while he stood behind you, occasionally kissing your ear while you dipped slices of raisin bread into the concoction he whipped up.
He was about to turn on the stove when you spun to face him and wrapped your arms around his neck. His sweatshirt rode up your body, and he let his hands rest on your bare ass as he grinned. "So do you want to hang out here again next weekend or up at your place?" he asked.
You made him feel confident, and he squeezed his fingers into your warm flesh as you laughed and buried your face against his neck. Your soft groan was followed by, "I already want so much more."
He was about to tell you that you already had him wrapped around your fingers when you went stiff in his arms. Bradley heard a key in his front door as you pulled away from him, and his head tipped back in frustration at the surprised look on your face. You were tugging his shirt lower on your thighs and clearly panicking as you looked toward the living room, and then your face went stony.
"It's not what you think, Baby," he promised when he caught sight of the intruder who was standing just inside his house in her matching hot pink spandex shorts and sports bra, spinning her copy of his house key around on her finger.
"How many fucking ex-girlfriends do you have, Bradley?" you asked, voice shaking as you stared at Natasha Trace. He could practically hear the tears in your words even though your sentence made him want to laugh.
"I am most certainly not his ex-girlfriend," Natasha replied, clearly as appalled as he was by the mere suggestion.
"Who is she?" you asked quietly as soon as you were focused on him, your back to the front door. "Don't lie to me."
"I wouldn't," he insisted, and you let him pull you closer as he said, "That's my best friend, Natasha. We usually go for early runs together before it gets too hot out when neither of us are deployed."
"Oh," you gasped softly. "She's the friend you had steaks and beers with last Sunday?"
"Yes. I've been friends with her for thirteen years. There's nothing going on." Bradley could appreciate that Nat was objectively very pretty, but he'd rather starve for a week than have to see her with less clothing than she had on right now. He kissed your forehead before he looked at his friend and said, "Nat, this is my girlfriend. She's going to be around here a lot. So maybe text before you use your key?"
But now you and she were looking at each other curiously as your hand drifted down his bare arm where he was standing in his favorite pair of gym shorts. You laced your fingers with his as Nat said, "I knew she looked familiar when you showed me her picture!"
"You're so familiar, too," you replied before looking up at him. "You showed your best friend my picture?"
Nat snorted with laughter. "He had to swipe through an entire folder to find one that wasn't personal." You buried your face in your free hand even as you laughed, and then Nat said, "But he could have just showed me the one that I took of you on the beach!"
When you looked at her again, your lips parted in surprise. "It's you! Oh my goodness, Bradley! Natasha took my sunset photo for me! The one I sent to you when you were deployed."
He knew that photo well, and something about this just felt right. "Prettiest thing I'd ever seen before I saw you in person."
"I guess it worked," Nat said with a smile, still twirling the key. "When I took it, you did say it was for the hot guy you hoped was going to ask you out for dinner."
"He asked me out for dinner and then some," you said, dropping his hand and taking a step closer to her. "I'm really sorry if I came across as rude, but his horrible ex, Vanessa, knocked on his door after I got here yesterday. I just thought I was going to have to fight someone for a second here."
Nat waved her hand letting you know all was forgiven, but her voice was snippy as she looked at Bradley and asked, "What the hell did Vanessa want? I sent her and her goddamn cup packing months ago."
He was about to respond when you said, "She was awful. She was so mean to him, and then she acted like she wanted to sleep with him, and then she was mean to him again!"
Nat's eyes narrowed. "I'm sure she took one look at you and got so jealous. You're lovely, and from what Bradley has told me, he's falling in love with you."
He choked on the air he was inhaling as he reached for you. Now you had a dreamy look on your face as Nat smirked at him. "Are you sufficiently convinced I'm not being catfished? Can you leave now?" he hissed. He wanted to tell you those words himself. He was thinking about doing it over French toast and coffee before Nat showed up.
She basically ignored him as she asked you, "Are you sleeping over again? I won't bother stopping to get him for a run tomorrow morning if you are."
You glanced up at him and bit your lip. "I mean, I was certainly hoping to sleep over again."
"She's sleeping over again," Bradley confirmed, kissing your forehead.
"Okay, I'm sleeping over again. But," you added, turning back toward his friend and tugging his sweatshirt lower on your thighs, "You should definitely come by again tomorrow. I'll have him ready for a run at 9:00. I don't mind sparing him for a bit while I lounge in bed."
Nat smiled and started to back towards the door. "Sounds good. I'll be back tomorrow, and I'll even take a nice picture of him for you when he's all sweaty and looks like a mess. Also, we should get coffee sometime. Get my number from Rooster?"
"Will do," you said, waving to her as she vanished back outside, shutting the door behind her. You jumped into his arms and buried your face in his chest. "I'm so embarrassed that I met your best friend without pants on."
Bradley burst into laughter as he started to lead you back into the kitchen. "I'm sure that didn't faze her one bit. And I swear I don't have any other recent ex-girlfriends or any other best friends or anyone else who should interrupt us while I make you French toast."
"And coffee."
"And coffee. And anything you want."
--------------------------
Once you had a belly full of Bradley's homemade breakfast and coffee that he tried his best to replicate from your favorite Starbucks drink, you ended up on his couch. But this time you were on your back, and you couldn't stop laughing as he tried to join you comfortably. "I'll buy a bigger couch," he grumbled, wedging his knee between the cushions and bracing himself with his hands so he didn't squish you.
"No. You can't. This is my favorite thing ever." The sweatshirt was pushed up above your belly button now, and the fabric of his gym shorts was soft against your slick core as you moved your leg to make more room for him.
"I can't say I'm not loving it too," he murmured, kissing you. "I still can't believe you're here. I can't believe I blindly got mail from the woman of my dreams."
You were down bad. You were down horrendous. You were never going to be able to get back up after Bradley Bradshaw. His skin was warm and smelled so good as he kissed you everywhere and told you how much he liked every inch of you inside and out. His fingers were laced with yours, and he nearly fell on the floor as you nudged his ribs with your knee. You laughed at the look of surprise on his face as he caught himself. "Let's go back to your bed," you whispered. "I'm going to need a little more room to do what I want right now, but we can come back out here later to snuggle."
"Shit." He got to his feet and helped you up. "Let's do it."
The two of you spent the day between his bed, his couch, and the little patio table out back. You never really stopped touching him, and you and he never really stopped talking. "I'll come back here next weekend," you promised him as you sat on his lap outside and watched the sunset.
"But maybe I can spend a night at your place during the week," he mused.
"Sure, but your house is so much nicer than my apartment."
"I'm glad you think so, Gorgeous. There's plenty of room for you here."
It was too easy to imagine, so you tried not to, but living here would be incredible. You'd be with Bradley all the time, and then when he was deployed, you could take care of everything so he didn't have to worry about it. This would be the easiest fantasy to get lost in if you let yourself, and the implications left your skin tingling as you kissed him. The sky grew darker around you as his big hand found your thigh like it belonged there.
"You should really start thinking about what you want for breakfast tomorrow," he muttered, inching his hand up as your forehead rested against his. "And let me know which day I can visit your classroom again, because I think I'd like to stay over at your place afterwards. It would make the most sense."
"God, you're too much, Bradley." You were going to melt if he kept this up. "Any day is good except for Thursday, because my kids have gym and library."
"I can work with that." His hand went higher, making you even crazier for him in the cool dusk air. "You think you need another ABC refresher? I could use a snack."
Your cheeks heated with need even as you agreed and led him inside to his bedroom. "You're always hungry, aren't you?"
"For you," he insisted.
Later, when the two of you were a pile of tangled up limbs, and your skin was slick with sweat, Bradley collected you against him. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat started lulling you to sleep as your exhausted body relaxed completely against his. Your eyes were closed, and you were just starting to doze when Bradley's arm tightened gently around you. His voice was deep and sure, right next to your ear, and you smiled as he said, "I love you, my Gorgeous pen pal."
------------------------------
Well, he said it. He said it, and now I'm melting even more for him. A mid-week sleep over already? I don't think I can help myself, but that morning commute might be brutal. Only one way to find out. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls and @daggerspare-standingby (for the ABCs!)
PART 14
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call-memissbrightside ¡ 11 months ago
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Continuation of this
Katsuki and your son didn’t return from their camping trip until late Sunday night, but you were waiting.
Thankfully Katsuma fell asleep on the road back, and he made no fuss tucking him away in his bed. Katsuki waited to jump on you when the door to Katsuma’s room clicked shut, then did he take care of you.
It’s been a while since you’ve slept with anyone, and it’s been even longer since you’ve slept with Katsuki. Yet, there was no hesitation or embarrassment when you willinging took off your garments of clothing as you blindly led your ex to your bedroom. Katuski wanted to take in the little details of you, things that he might’ve missed or things that changed since the last time he’s been with you… but laying you out in the bed without any barriers of clothing to hide behind, with the moonlight spilling in just perfectly to cascade every dip and curve of your body, the young man decide to indulge just for once. If I’m lucky, this will happen again, he thought.
As highschool lovers that you once were meant you’d make love, you both were virgins when you got together but now you were older, wiser, and less awkward when touching one another. There was no hesitation, no verbal checks and balances like you’d give when you were sixteen. Now, his eyes asked the questions and your little smile answered each and every one of them. That night, five years after leaving Katsuki to raise your son without him, Katsuki and you fucked like you needed to make up for lost time.
—
You gained a sixth sense through motherhood, and you were startled awake. Blinking the sleepiness out of your eyes, you take in the sight of Katsuma, with rumpled blonde hair standing by the foot of your bed. Thankfully, you were covered with your blanket, and he didn’t seem to notice nor care that you were in bed with Katsuki..
“Mommy, I’s sick,” Katsuma whispered, a little hand rubbing at his eye.
You felt Katsuki laying behind you, with an arm secured tightly around your hips as his steady breathing tickled the nape of your neck.
“What’s wrong baby?” You’re mindful of keeping your naked body covered with the blanket as you sit up, trying to not startle Katsuki but he instantly wakes up from your movement.
“What’s wrong buddy?” Katsuki’s voice is heavily laced with sleep, but he takes a deep breath, peeking over your shoulder to look at his son.
“I’m hot.” Katsuma was sweating, perspiration wetting the crown of his head and the hair that grew there. His cheeks were red like apples, and his little eyes held feelings of pain.
The back of your hand automatically touches his forehead, eyebrows furrowed at the intense heat you feel.
“I think you have a fever baby,” You comment, worryness replacing whatever satifaction you felt just moments before. “Go lay back down and I’ll get the thermometer.”
Katsuma wordlessly obeys your command, and you don’t hesitate to spring up and get dressed. Katsuki watches you, you feel his eyes on your back as you slip on some clothes.
“What should I do?” Katsuki catched his shirt you threw at him with ease, putting it on and beginning to dress too. You don’t know how to answer, mind going on overdrive on how to proceed with having a sick child. Katsuma was usually a healthy kid with a minor cold every two years, but to wake up with an intense fever? What could it be? How serious was this? –
“Y/N?” Katsuki felt useless in this situation, he’s never dealt with a sick kid nor did he know what to do for Katsuma in that moment. He needed you to guide him, lead him, shit, tell him what to do because he was clueless. The young man could tell you were worried, it’s the way your face had a stony expression on it that painted a clear picture: something wasn’t right.
“There’s some medicine in the cabinet above the microwave, could you get it?” You asked him, looking through your drawers for the thermometer. Katsuki, thankful for some direction, swiftly went to retrieve the medicine. In the silence of the kitchen, did the seriousness of his actions catched up with Katsuki.
We had sex, Katsuki recounted, we had sex so now what? Are we together? No – he shook his head, finding a child’s ibuprofen – Would she even want to get back together? What about Katsuma?
Heading to the five-year-olds room, Katsuki put aside any lingering questions in his mind. Just like you decided, all those questions and decisions would have to wait – Katsuma needed him.
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golden-cherry ¡ 10 months ago
Text
deal - cl16 (21/?)
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader
Series Summary: Your whole life has gone to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you just lost your job and the Monegasque, who suddenly stands in your doorway, claims that it’s his apartment.
Chapter Summary: The truth comes under purple skies.
Warnings: angst, but mostly tooth rotting fluff because you deserve it
Word Count: 3.4k
series masterlist
previous part
A/N: a little late happy birthday to me! sorry for the wait. I love you.
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Although you keep your eyes closed, you know that it is still dark outside.
The air in the room is cool against your face, while your tired body is kept comfortably warm under the heavy comforter. It is just as warm against the free, uncovered parts of your body as Charles' soft skin.
His arm is wrapped around your middle, his fingers are tightly intertwined with yours and his thumb strokes gentle circles over your hand. A tender, loving gesture that you're not sure whether it's meant to calm your nerves or his own. 
You haven't changed your positions in bed since you fell asleep pressed tightly together a few hours ago. Charles's chest is still pressed against your back and if you were to focus on it, you could certainly feel his heart beating hard and steady. But you don't. Your thoughts revolve around breathing as normally as possible so that it still looks like you're asleep. 
You don't want to be awake. 
Being awake would involve thinking, and you definitely don't want to think about the last few days. You don't want to think about how Charles told you that you would jump into bed with Lando at the next opportunity. You don't want to think about Raphael coming to your front door last night and calling you a whore. And you don't want to be reminded that Charles jumped to your side and defended you without so much as batting an eye.
All you want right now is to lie here, in his strong arms, wrapped in his scent and warmth. Deep down, you know you can't be angry with him. Lando's words flit through your head again and again about how you both want to protect each other, and even though you've only known each other for a few days, you can tell Charles so well that it's exactly this part of him that makes him who he is.
But you still don't know why he treated you like that.
You breathe in deeply, take in his scent - a mixture of sandalwood, peppermint and a smell that you can only describe as Charles - and press your face into the soft pillow. Although you had been furious with him, you had missed his closeness over the last few days. 
The thumb that has been tenderly drawing figures on your hand pauses.
"I'm sorry." Charles' voice is little more than a whisper against your shoulder blade. As his warm breath brushes over you, your muscles tighten. "No apology in this world can make up for what I did to you. I betrayed your trust, hurt you, and left you thinking I didn't care about you." When you don't answer him, he continues. "I am so incredibly sorry. And I won't ask for your forgiveness or kindness, because I don't deserve it. I don't deserve you. And I'm sorry I couldn't be better for you."
Your heart beats so fast against your ribcage that you fear it will break your bones and jump out of your chest. His touch feels like your skin is burning. When you open your eyes, you see purple clouds in the morning sky through the window. 
Carefully, you turn in his arms, whereupon his embrace loosens a little, but his arm remains on your hip. His eyes are closed, as if he doesn't dare to look into your face. His eyebrows are furrowed and there are a few wrinkles between them that you would love to smooth out with your fingers.
You decide to run your fingers over his bare shoulders. His muscles twitch under your fingertips. "Why did you do it?" Charles remains silent, so you tentatively place your hand against his cheek. You feel his stubble scratch your skin as he exhales deeply, as if he hasn't taken a decent breath in a long time.
He opens his eyes and there is an anxious gleam in the otherwise beautiful green. His gaze searches yours as he nuzzles his face against your hand. "I was jealous."
Jealous?
A small glimmer of hope flares up inside you. Maybe everything you've experienced together - the viewpoint, your movie night, the bookstore, the tiramisu - is based on something other than friendship. On something more. Maybe there was more to every conversation, every look and every smile than just the friendship you nailed down to protect your heart. Maybe you were just talking past each other the whole time. Maybe –
"I was jealous of how well you got on with Lando. I thought that if you got to know each other better and became more than just friends, then we wouldn't be friends anymore. I thought -" He pauses for a moment. "I couldn't bear it if I lost you because of your relationship."
You try to suppress the punch in the pit of your stomach and swallow the frog in your throat. "You hurt me and pushed me away because you didn't want to get hurt yourself?" Your heart breaks a little for him. You finally smooth out the wrinkles between his eyebrows with your thumb. His arm wraps around you tighter and presses you together. His fingers stroke your back and goose bumps spread across your body. 
That's exactly what Lando said. That Charles pushes the people he cares about away to protect himself. Something you can well understand, after all, you were planning to do the same to him. Only not so drastically. 
But Lando also told you something else about the Monegasque. "But that's not all, is it?" An image flickers in your mind's eye of Raphael holding out his hand to introduce himself to Charles. "You didn't just want to protect yourself. Or am I wrong, Charles Leclerc?"
As you say his name, a shiver jerks through his body, as if he's suddenly cold, and his hand freezes against your spine. "You're not." His tone is cooler, more distant than it was a few moments ago, and the tension in the room is palpable despite the purple clouds and morning calm as you place your hand on his bare chest. His heart is beating fast and strong.
"I - I think we both rushed into this friendship far too quickly." You try to put as much warmth into your whisper as you can, even though deep down your heart has caught quite a tear. "We've known each other for five days. And so much has happened in that time that takes some friends years. Our trust in each other went from zero to one hundred." You run your finger over his collarbone, your gaze following him.
Panting, he sucks air into his lungs at your touch. "What do you suggest?"
You purse your lips. "Maybe - maybe we should get to know each other better first. Get to know each other properly so that this doesn't happen again. So that our living together is easier."
Charles tightens his grip around your middle, his legs tangle with yours. "Living together? Does that mean you're staying with me?"
You nod slightly, but grab your arm with your hand to pull away from him. Something flits across his face, but as quickly as it came, it's gone again as you place his hand between your faces on the pillows. "But maybe a little distance will do us good. So we don't mess this up."
His fingers interlace with yours. "I'll do everything I can to make this work."
"That makes two of us," you smile, missing his touch on your body. You miss the warmth pulsing through your veins under your skin. But it's the right thing to do. At least that's what you try to tell yourself. You take a deep breath. "I - I'm unemployed, by the way." You look down at your hands. "I was fired from this magazine before we met. I'm looking for a new job so that I can continue to live in Monaco, because my savings won't last forever. That's why I'm so grateful to you for standing up for me with Joris. About the rent. I can't thank you enough for that."
"But you don't have to," he replies quietly. "Friends help each other. They're there for each other. I can understand why you didn't tell me. Nobody likes to talk about the fact that they've recently lost their job." 
"Thank you," you whisper back. You feel a weight fall from your shoulders. You suddenly find it easier to breathe. But now it's something else that's plaguing your thoughts.
And no one but Charles can give you the answer. "Can you please explain to me what happened yesterday? With - with Raphael?"
The Monegasque briefly lets go of your hand so that he can play with your fingers. He doesn't look at you. "Do you remember the night we watched Cars together?"
You nod. How could you forget that night? The wine, the movie, the flirting that apparently wasn't flirting. Ouch. 
"We talked about Formula One and how you used to watch it with your grandfather when Michael Schuhmacher drove for Ferrari." His gaze is literally glued to your fingers. "When we first met, I told you that my work had something to do with cars, and I wasn't lying."
You raise an eyebrow in confusion. If he's a mechanic or engineer for one of the racing teams, that woiuld explain why he has to travel so much for work. "Is that where all the cool photos on your phone come from? Because you fly across the globe with Formula 1 to work on the cars?"
Your flatmate purses his lips. "I don't work on the cars. I - I drive them." He licks his lips once. "I'm a Formula One driver for Scuderia Ferrari."
"Don't fuck with me," you reply, wanting to pull your fingers out of his grasp. But he holds on to them and when he lifts his gaze and looks you in the eyes, you know he's telling the truth. And his confession makes you see the last few days from a different perspective. 
The conversation between Charles and Joris, shortly after he suddenly appeared in the apartment, pops up in your mind. "When we met, that night - you were on the phone with Joris. You said something about headlines."
He nods slightly. "A few weeks ago, the season ended and Annika and I broke up. I stayed away from here as long as I could because I didn't want to be confronted with it. And when I got to my apartment for emergencies, there you were. With a valid tenancy agreement. I couldn't just throw you out the door. You could have gone public and then it would have made the headlines. Something like "Charles Leclerc throws poor woman out of rented apartment". It was a risk I couldn't take." He furrows his eyebrows again, but this time you hold back.
"You have a nutritionist."
Again he nods. "For the races, I have to follow a strict diet to make the car go faster. Unfortunately, pasta and thick sandwiches aren't part of it, so please don't tell him." 
Fragments of the last few days appear one after the other in your mind's eye, which you try to sort out and work through. "The bistro you went to after the bookshop had already closed, hadn't it?"
"Yes. But when do you ever have a Formula One driver on your doorstep who needs two sandwiches?" He shrugs. "One photo and we've had our dinner."
You lick your tongue over your lips and you don't miss the way Charles' eyes twitch to your mouth. "We went everywhere in my car. Why?"
"You've seen my car." He's referring to the fancy Ferrari in the parking garage. "With its stripes, it's not exactly inconspicuous. Especially since everyone knows the car is mine." He runs his thumb over the side of your index finger. "As soon as the car rolls down the street, everyone knows it's me. And everyone takes photos of it. I couldn't risk you getting caught up in all this because of a stupid car. And especially not because you couldn't choose it until now. Your sweet tin can was the only way we could get around the city together without attracting attention."
You clench your jaw. "The meetings in Italy. What about it?"
"The headquarters are there, in Maranello. Before the winter break, the team wanted to get together again and discuss what went wrong this season and what we can improve."
"And you could just leave like that?" you ask him.
He shakes his head. "Not really. But in my opinion, there wasn't much to talk about either. The season was a throwaway." He shrugs his shoulders. "I was actually a little relieved when Lando called and asked me to go home."
So you were right. The Brit did call Charles. "And what did he say?" 
"Exactly what I needed to hear." He smiles slightly. "He threw a lot of swear words at me and made it clear that I'd be the stupidest idiot in the world if I screwed up this friendship."
You don't know what to do with this information. The fact that Lando called Charles and made a slug out of him doesn't bother you much, because the Monegasque needed the push. But there's also something about the fact that Charles didn't come up with the idea of straightening things out himself. That one of his friends had to step in for you first so that he would get off his butt and stand up for this friendship. That Lando -
"What about Lando? And Pierre? And Kika? Are they part of Formula One too?"
Charles purses his lips into a thin line. "Lando and Pierre are also drivers. Kika is a model."
Bile rises in your gullet as you release your hand from his and turn onto your back, closing your eyes. Everyone knew, they even work in the same field, and no one thought to let you in on it. The whole thing could have gone down the drain. People could have recognized you both, taken photos of you and spread the word. 
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I -" Charles exhales. "I was just scared."
"Scared? Of what?"
"My job - my name - brings a lot with it. A lot of good things, like seeing the world, getting to know cultures and not having to worry about things like money. But there are also negative things, like a lot of pressure, fake friends, no privacy." He also turns onto his back. "I don't want you to choose something you don't want because of my name. I thought - I thought if we stayed in our little bubble, our little world, that - I don't know. It was just nice to have someone as a friend who wanted to be friends with me because I'm Charles. And not because I'm Charles Leclerc."
You have to smile. "Actually, I'm only friends with you so that I can live with you and save on rent."
"Haha."
You clasp your hands behind your head. "I can understand, I think. That you have to be careful who you surround yourself with. And that there are a lot of people who only use you because you're you. It sounds very lonely."
Charles snorts softly. "It can definitely be lonely."
"Then let me assure you that I don't want to be friends with you because of your money or your name." 
"But?"
"Do you really need reasons?"
"It certainly wouldn't hurt my ego," you can practically hear his grin. 
"All right," you reply. "I want to be friends with you because you're kind and considerate of your friends' feelings. Because you trusted me with your favorite place, even though you didn't know me. Because you introduced me to your friends because you thought it was inevitable anyway if our friendship strengthened." You take a deep breath and exhale. "I want to be friends with you because you're funny and make me laugh. Because you have a big heart. Because -" 
A feeling bubbles up inside you. You've felt it before - the day after your movie night, when you were reviewing the evening. In the not entirely innocent dream you had about Charles. And when you shared the bed after the bookshop.
It's warm, like a warm blanket, strong like a good hug and bright like Charles' eyes when the sun shines on his face. Charles is not just your roommate. Or your friend. Charles is so much more. Charles is your home.
Before you can complete the sentence, the Monegasque interrupts you. "That's good. That's good enough for me, thank you." He smiles. "It's nice to have you as a friend. Even if I don't deserve it, the way I've treated you."
"Mm-hmm." 
"Maybe you should sleep on it one more night and then decide if you really want it. There's so much more that comes with a friendship with me." When you yawn, he has to laugh. "You see? Maybe you're not even able to think straight right now. And then I push you into a friendship that you don't even want."
"I'm sure," you reply tiredly and you notice how your eyes get heavier. 
"But -"
Before he can finish his sentence, you reach for his hand and interlace his fingers with yours. You try to ignore the fact that this makes your heart beat faster. "I'm sure of it. Believe me." 
When you gently squeeze his fingers twice, he replies with the same gesture. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
"Then it's a good thing you don't have to find out," you smile and as you yawn again, Charles pulls you closer to him. Like a magnet, you slide across the bed towards him, unable to resist as your face finds its place against the crook of his neck. 
He lets go of your hand, but only to wrap his arm around you. His hand rests on the bare skin of your hip, while his other hand pulls your leg over him so that you're half lying on top of him. You are enveloped by him, fully and completely, and as you place your hand on his bare chest, you feel his heartbeat under your fingertips. 
You try to convince yourself that it's not beating for you, but as you snuggle even closer to him and your lips touch the soft skin on his neck, you feel it skip a beat. But maybe you're just imagining it. 
"I'll be better from now on," he whispers and tentatively presses a kiss to your forehead. Goosebumps spread all over your body, but not because you're cold like he thinks, which is why his arm presses you even tighter against him. "I don't want there to be another moment when you doubt how important you are to me, mon amour."
"You can teach me a little French," you reply. "Then you can hide less from me if I speak your mother tongue too," you joke. 
Charles feels your smile on his neck and he is glad that you can't see the blush on his face. 
"Anything you want. I'll go to the other side of the world for you if I have to."
"But not until tomorrow, all right?" You gently caress his chest with your fingertips and Charles draws in a sharp breath. "Now it's time to sleep. And don't you dare steal my blanket in the night."
Charles would love to pull you on top of him, kiss you and promise you that you're safe with him and that he won't let anything happen to you. But he holds back, just lets his fingers dance over your skin. 
He promises in the purple morning light. "Deal."
next part
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half-oz-eddie ¡ 8 days ago
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“I can feel you staring at me, Evan.” A half-sleep Tommy mumbled.
“M’not staring.” Buck mumbled back.
Tommy slowly opened his eyes, his half lidded gaze met with Buck’s intense glare.
He sighed as he rolled onto his back. “What did I do in your dream this time?”
“You pushed me out of a moving car!” Buck exclaimed. “I-into oncoming traffic!”
Tommy let out a soft grunt and rolled over. “Dream Tommy is a dick. Go back to sleep.”
Buck lied back down, body stiff and tense. “You were yelling.”
“Wasn’t me.” Tommy mumbled. “I never yell at you.”
“Are you mad at me?”
“For what?”
“I dunno. Anything. Maybe my subconscious is telling me that you’re mad at me.”
“Doesn’t your subconscious usually tell you about your own feelings?”
“Yeah but this is the third time I’ve dreamt about us having a big fight that resulted in you killing me.”
“Again. Wasn’t me. Love you way too much to kill you.”
“Yeah but—“ Buck paused, quickly realizing what Tommy just said. “Did you just say that you love me? Tommy?”
Buck gently nudged him, only to be answered by a loud snore.
“You can feel me staring at you but you can’t answer my question. Hmph.” Buck grumbled.
Buck eventually fell asleep and woke up in bed alone, the memory of their 4AM conversation rushing back to his mind.
He dragged himself into the kitchen where Tommy was pouring a cup of coffee.
“Good morning, Evan.” He handed him the cup. “Did you sleep any better after dream me tried to kill you?”
Buck rolled his eyes with a tut. “I fell asleep…eventually. No thanks to you.”
“Oh, Evan.” Tommy moaned. “What was I supposed to do, honey? The dream version of me that you created is a way bigger asshole than I am.” Tommy grabbed Buck’s hips and gently kissed his forehead. “If I could, I’d go into your dream and kill him myself so he could never touch dream Evan again.”
“Yeah?” Buck smiled. “What if Dream Evan is an asshole too?”
Tommy smiled back. “For some reason, I doubt that.”
They shared two chaste kisses and Tommy offered Buck some cream for his coffee.
“Hey, uh…do you…remember anything else from our conversation last night?” Buck asked.
“Hm…” Tommy pondered. “I remember you asking me if I was mad at you, which was, very silly, by the way.”
“And then?”
“And thennnn…nothing. I fell asleep.”
“Oh.” Buck responded dejectedly.
Tommy worriedly furrowed his brows, pulling Buck closer to him. “Did I say something wrong? Was sleepy Tommy a dick too?”
“No.” Buck snorted. “You uh…y-you said…you…love me.”
“Oh!” Tommy chuckled. “Sorry about that.”
Buck’s face quickly fell flat. ”S-sorry? Wha—uh—whaddya mean?” Buck asked with a nervous chuckle.
“I just…I didn’t think that was…an appropriate time to say it for the first time—“
“But you meant it, right?” Buck eagerly interjected.
Tommy nodded without hesitation. “I did. I just wish I wasn’t saying it after my doppelgänger in your subconscious…pushed you out of a moving vehicle.”
Buck laughed. “I uh—I think I have those dreams because I was afraid.”
“Afraid? Of me?”
“No. Not—not of you. I was…afraid you…wouldn’t love me back. That you’d…reject me.”
“Evan.” Tommy pulled him in for a loving embrace. “I do. I love you very much. Okay?”
Buck sighed in relief, melting into Tommy’s arms.
He never had one of those awful dreams again.
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hannieehaee ¡ 11 months ago
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them accidentally ditching you on your bday pt. 2- pu
content: angsty, gender neutral, established relationship, jun's has one brief suggestive mention, fluffy ending, etc.
part 1
wc: 3232
a/n: tysm to everyone who read and enjoyed the whole series <33 it was rlly fun to write angst with a fluffy ending hehe
masterlist
jun -
against his better judgment, jun sat in silence for a while as he contemplated what to do. you were likely not only mad, but also disappointed at him ditching you like that. except he hadnt meant to! he truly had no idea he would sleep through the entirety of the morning. he had been so excited to spend his favorite day with his favorite person, but now he was left as a complete asshole while you believed him to have carelessly put you aside with no warning
after a few more minutes of self-pitying, he decided to get up. it was better to try and make amends and explain himself than to let even more time pass. he knew you'd be out by the time he arrived to your place, but at least that way he could fix something up for your arrival. he decided against calling you. it didnt feel personal enough, plus, the least he could do was surprise you.
without further thought, jun headed straight to your place, but not before inquiring his mom about a few recipes he knew you liked. his current plan was to make you a romantic dinner upon your return. in order to allow you to enjoy your day in whichever way you wished to, he continued to not contact you with his new plan. he knew it might've been dumb to not even answer the multiple messages you'd left him while he slept, but he wanted to apologize face to face with a romantic gesture.
preparing the meal had been easy enough. he followed it by creating a nice ambience with the lights and a few candles, along with some mellow music and incense. the next step in his plan was to offer you a massage and his wholehearted company for the rest of the night to do whatever you so wished.
luckily for him, your outing did not extend into the night, meaning his meal would become either a brunch or an early dinner. but that didn't matter to him the moment you stepped in and spotted him in suit and tie waiting for you in your apartment, eyes wide as saucers at the unexpected intrusion.
"jun?"
"wait! dont say anything. i rehearsed this, okay? let me say my thing first."
you were already used to his shenanigans, so you gestured at him to continue before voicing any questions.
"i'm so sorry. i know i promised to be here. and i was planning to be here on time! but i, uh, i fell asleep. i know how stupid that sounds, trust me! i didn't plan on this. i was so exhausted and i didnt realize that id sleep through all my alarms and your messages. my phone died last night too, so i didnt even realize you had called me. i'm just ... im sorry. i know im an idiot. please forgive me? i made you a romantic dinner to make up for it! i hope you like it, they're my mom's recipes," he paused for a second before continuing, "i love you! i wanted to spend the whole day with you, i swear. i know it didnt go as planned, but id you let me, id love to spend what remains of it doing whatever you want. im sorry i left you alone. i never meant to."
"junnie ..."
jun immediately noticed your lip begin to stick out in a pout, with watery eyes to match.
"oh, fuck. baby, i'm so sorry," he rushed you into his embrace, "i didnt mean to make you cry! i- how can i make it up to you? i'll do anything, just say the word."
you halted him before he could continue, remaining in his hold but disconnecting yourself enough to look into his eyes.
"no, junnie. it's just ... fuck, im sorry if my texts were harsh. i thought you had just ditched me for no reason. you must've been so exhausted, baby, im sorry. i understand why you weren't here, and ... god, thank you for the dinner. you're so sweet, junnie, im so so-"
"no! dont apologize. you're not allowed to apologize on your birthday. in a perfect world i wouldve made it home and fallen asleep in your arms instead. will you have dinner with me? then i can take you to bed," he interrupted himself upon realizing what he said, "oh, wait! not like that! but well, if you want too ... it's your day, anything you say goes. happy birthday, by the way," he pressed his nose to yours, "i love you."
you couldn't help but giggle at his panicked state, appreciating the sweet words nonetheless.
"thank you, junnie. i love you."
soonyoung -
soonyoung wasn't too sure where he was going.
it's not like be was blackout drunk, he was just drunk. period. he still had some sense of reason. he was almost 85% sure he was in minghao's car. but there was no way to be completely sure from the angle in which he was laying down. that's when his friend decided to inquire his name to check on him, thus confirming soonyoung's current whereabouts. that was also when soonyoung fell right back asleep.
next time he gained consciousness he was being dragged out of the car and being directed to follow minghao. he could recognize his new location anywhere. he was standing right outside your apartment. when you opened the door, he couldnt help but instantly let himself fall atop you, attacking you with a hug as you were forced a few steps back due to his body weight being dropped on you. you held him back, patting his back as you spoke to minghao about something. he wasn't too sure. the familiar scent at the crook of your neck had him too distracted to care.
finally minghao left, allowing you two some alone time. you left him on the couch and got him water, telling him he needed to sober up before you could talk, because apparently you had something to say to him. it was odd. you weren't cooing at him as you usually did. you also weren't stuck to his side, giving him his daily dose of physical affection like he'd always demand. he decided to shrug it off, allowing himself to fall into deep slumber on the uncomfortable space of your couch. he'd figure it out tomorrow.
when tomorrow came, soonyoung was hit with two things. one came after the other.
the first was his headache, which almost went away on its own at the mere aight of the aspirin you had left on the coffee table in front of him. he made a mental note to give you a thank you kiss the moment he saw you.
the next thing he was hit with was realization of how uneven this relationship seemingly was.
as he got up to seek you out, he stopped just before entering your bedroom, realizing you were on a phone call. he didn't mean to eavesdrop, but he was also really nosy by nature, so the math did itself.
"yeah. im sorry for cancelling on you yesterday ... no, i know ... it's not like that .... he just forgot .... yeah ..... he came home drunk .... i dont know. i think i'll just let him figure it out on his own .... i am hurt. we made plans and he just blew me off to drink with his friends, of course im hurt .... i'll just see you tomorrow, i gotta go take care of him .... yeah, i know im an idiot, but i love him .... okay, bye. love you too."
soonyoung could only hear your side of the conversation, but that had been enough for him to clue the pieces together. your birthday was yesterday. which was something he knew, but had completely left his mind at the mention of free drinks with the guys.
after that realization came many others.
you had shown him no type of anger upon his arrival, even making sure take care of him in his drunken state. you had changed him into his pjs as he slept, tucked him into your couch, given him medicine. even after he blew you off. on your birthday. fuck.
he gave himself no time to think before he barged into the room, immediately kneeling in front of you as he grabbed onto your hands. he paid no mind to your shocked state as he started babbling apologies to you.
"im so sorry, i- i dont know how i forgot. baby ... im so fucking sorry. i cant believe you took care of me even after i forgot. you shouldve punished me. you should punish me. i dont deserve you. im so so so sorry. i love you so much, i swear i never meant go forget. im just an idiot. that's not an excuse! you're just too good for me. I'll make it up to you! how can i? anything! please, i love you."
his rambling could only be blamed on his still buzzed state, as that had only been half of his apology. he kept going for ten minutes, allowing you no room to respond. he was surprised when by the end of it you'd instructed him to get up, almost tackling him in a hug as you wrapped your arms around his neck. he might've been an idiot, but he'd accept any affection from you he could get. always.
"soonie ..." you pulled away to look into his eyes, a sweet softness behind them. them you decided to slap his chest, making him wince at the unexpectedness of it, "you fucking idiot! i waited for you all day, and you ditch me for alcohol?"
"baby, i-"
"no! i cant sit through another ten minutes of apologies. im pretty sure you're a little drunk still. i forgive you. but you have a lot of making up to do, understand?"
he felt like a scolded puppy, but agreed regardless, telling you that he would swear off alcohol if that's what it took. he enjoyed your giggle as he suggested ridiculous ways to make it up to you, knowing he'd genuinely do anything to make up for ever making you upset.
minghao -
if he hadn't felt immediate regret the moment the words came out of his mouth, he sure felt it now, hearing you cry through the door to your shared bedroom.
he had no idea what had gotten into him. never had he ever even entertained the idea of disrespecting you like that, much less ever making you cry. he could take his job too seriously sometimes, making him a bit too irritable when his work ethic was questioned in any way. although this was true, he knew it was still just a cheap excuse for his behavior. no matter what had been going through his mind, he knew he had no right to speak to you in the way that he did, dismissing you so coldly on a day that was meant to celebrate you.
he was unsure what to do. he wanted to comfort you so badly, but he knew that he had been the sole cause for your pain. he felt himself get emotional at the mere thought, with your sobs making him weak at the knees in regret. he sat himself down on the other side of the door, knowing from the proximity of your cries that you must've been on the opposite side as well. he kept quiet, simply torturing himself as he heard the love of his life cry because of him. there was only so much he could take, however, before finally interrupting.
"my love ..?"
your cries seized a bit at his interruption, but your sniffles and heavy breath could still be heard, breaking his heart bit by bit.
"angel ... im so sorry ... i- i don't know what came over me. you're right. i should've called you. there is no world in which i wouldnt want to be with you to celebrate the birth of the love of my life. you're my everything. i want to shout it from the rooftops. i want everyone to know who my entire world is; who makes my heart beat," he took a pause to breathe, allowing himself to think of how to properly apologize to you, "i should never speak to you the way i just did, i ... im disgusted with myself. you're the most important thing in my life. being the source of your sadness makes me lose my mind. my one purpose in this life is to love you with all i have. im so sorry ... my love, please dont cry over me. no one deserves your tears."
by the end of his speech you had begun to cry harder, making his heart crumble even more.
"angel ... let me see you, please. i need to hold you, need to- need you in my arms. cant stand not taking away your pain, please, i-"
his words were interrupted by a sudden opening of the door. by the time he'd gotten up, you had already walked further into your room, sitting on the edge of the bed as you made yourself as small as possible, looking down while he approached. he knelt in front of you, grabbing your hands as he held them against his own, kissing at the back of your palms as he professed his love for you once more. he then got up and made it so you'd stand up with him, allowing him to cradle you in his arms.
"please forgive me ... i adore you more than anything."
you finally looked up at him, bloodshot eyes as he looked down at you with both worry and adoration.
"did you mean it? do you really not care to ditch me for your career? did you-"
"no! never. you're everything to me. there's nothing i hold more dear to my heart than your own. i'll never make you cry again. i'll grow old with you and give you nothing but happiness. please, please forgive me."
he knew his words could only get him so far, being fully aware that he had purposely hurt your feelings in the heat of the moment. he simply hoped that this would not cause a strain in your relationship; that you would somehow look past it and give him the forgiveness that he didn't deserve.
his thoughts were fortunately interrupted by a soft meeting of your lips, allowing him to melt into you before you pulled away.
"hao ... i forgive you. i- i never thought you'd just disregard me like that," he physically winced at the thought, "but you've shown me nothing but love and respect otherwise. i understand you were stressed, and i love you, so i forgive you."
"thank you, angel. i'll take tomorrow off, okay? let me keep you all to myself so i can show you how sorry i am; how badly i love you."
he then spent the rest of the night attached to you, waxing poetic at you as he told you of all the plans he had for the two of you tomorrow, even eventually progressing into talking about his night at the fashion show. your enthusiasm at his rambles made him realize how fortunate he was to have you all over again. he made a promise to himself and to you that he'd never lose his temper around you ever again.
chan -
"wait, what? ah! don't hit me!"
"you idiot! you're dating a literal angel and you forget their birthday?! what is wrong with you?"
"it's not today! it's, uh, wait. fuck. today?!"
checking his phone really quickly he realized that today's date was in fact your birthday. he hadn't bothered to write down a reminder for your birthday anywhere, knowing there was absolutely more way he could forget. except that the days had begun to blend together at some point, rendering him into a machine as he just went to his schedules without much thought. what he hadn't accounted for, however, was for your birthday to get lost in the mess also.
chan hadn't planned for his day to go like this. he 100% was not expecting to be berated by seungkwan the moment he stepped foot into the practice room, being scolded over being a careless boyfriend. even as annoyed as he was at his friend, he knew he was right. he hadn't meant to, but ultimately he had forgotten about you. it sucked to think about how he had bid you goodbye just this morning with not a single care in the world, now realizing that you were probably alone and feeling disregarded by him. i mean, for fuck's sakes, he had told you to take the day off a few weeks back. promising a fun afternoon together after he got off work. and now he had completely forgotten about it.
he needed to fix this, and quick.
like any lovesick guy (such as chan, who was immensely down bad for you), he ran to leave practice. he knew soonyoung would have his ass on a silver platter the moment he arrived and noticed chan's absence, but after weighing his options (hurting your feelings vs. being berated by yet another one of his older brothers), he decided you were the clear priority.
ran might've been an overstatement, but he did rush as much as he could. he wanted to account for the extra time he'd need to spend to stop by a flower shop on the way in order to beg for forgiveness in a more heartfelt way.
after picking a bouquet of your favorites, he instructed the driver to take him to your address, which led him to his current predicament as he stood outside your apartment door, breathless due to having ran up the stairs in very dramatic fashion. what could he say? he was just a boy in love.
the moment you opened the door to his knocks, he rushed in, rambling endless apologies to you as he handed you the flowers, professing his love to you while also whining (mostly at himself) that seungkwan of all people had been the one to remind him of the love of his life's special day. it was funny, really, how he didn't seem to run out of words when expressing his regret at his mistake.
you interrupted him halfway through his fourth apology, giggling at his widened eyes. okay, this was not exactly the reaction he was expecting.
"chan! jesus, breathe," you interrupted, "i'm not mad. i mean, i was. but you literally only left an hour ago, i cant believe you're back already."
"i headed back the moment kwan told me. baby. i'm sorry. i had planned to take the day off and surprise you, it just slipped my mind, i swe-"
"chan! it's fine! i'm not- i'm not mad, i promise. the fact that you came back running is so ... it's funny," you giggled again, "but its also very sweet. you have nothing to apologize for, okay? i'm just happy you're here."
he hugged you after that, disregarding the flowers in your hands as he nuzzled his nose into your hair.
"remind me to thank kwannie for reminding my bad, forgetful boyfriend about my birthday."
"yah! you're not allowed to hang out with him anymore, okay? he's a bad influence," he complained against you, enjoying the vibration of your laugh in return.
a/n: sorry some are way angstier than others ;-; i wanted to vary them a little. anyways tysm if u read the entirety of this mini series <3
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zepskies ¡ 10 months ago
Text
In the Dark
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Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Reader
Summary: You and Ben have tackled the insurmountable together, but no one said the recovery would be easy.
AN: Another story for the BMD-verse! This was requested by @sl33pylilbunny. It’s set in the six-month time gap after Part 17 and before the Epilogue of Break Me Down.
Word Count: 1,500 Tags/Warnings: Angst, traumatic memories, hurt/comfort and feels.
Read more of the BMD-verse: ⤵️
💚 Break Me Down Masterlist
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The building was falling apart.
You couldn’t remember why, but you were deep in a labyrinth. The only way out was further down, into what felt like an immense basement, wading through debris and pieces of the ceiling threatening to crush you at every turn.
You hadn’t stopped running and your lungs were on fire. Your heartbeat was loud in your ears. You had an iron grip on your friend’s wrist, so you wouldn’t lose her or her son in the chaos.
“Keep going,” you told them. “We’re getting out.”
A hand on your shoulder stopped you from moving forward.
And three shots rang out. You ducked and took your friend down with you, but you choked on a gasp when you looked back…
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You woke with a sharp inhale.
Your eyes blinked wide and bleary in a pitch black room. You couldn’t see, but you could still hear your wild heartbeat echoing between your ears.
The more you blinked, the more your eyes adjusted. You could make out the familiarity of your bedroom. While you tried to calm your breathing, you turned onto your side, slowly.
You found Ben, asleep.
His mouth was parted as he breathed. His hair had fallen over his brows in sleep. You almost smiled…but you weren’t quite able to.
You carefully brushed the stray locks away from his forehead. Then you slid out of bed so you wouldn’t disturb him.
This had become your habit over the past couple of weeks since moving into this new apartment. You loved it, but it was hard for you to stay comfortable at night.
Though I don’t think that’s the apartment’s fault, you thought wryly. No, it was just your fucked mental health.
Shaking your head at yourself, you went down to the kitchen and made yourself some chamomile tea. That was Step 1.
Step 2 was sitting on the couch with your laptop and your headphones. You kept yourself up with YouTube videos and answering work emails. By now, they knew not to ask why you were sending them at three in the morning.
This time, however, you made a mistake.
Instead of going back to bed and lying awake for another hour until your alarm went off…you fell asleep on the couch.
You must’ve been more exhausted than you thought.
The next time you woke, it was to the odd sensation of floating. Or rather, being carried. You blinked up at Ben, whose brows were already furrowed.
“Hey,” you said, a bit sheepishly.
He didn’t answer you, nor did he set you down until he’d walked you back into the bedroom and laid you down on your side of the bed. It was still dark in the room, which meant you couldn’t have been asleep for more than an hour or so.
Ben slipped back into bed, and you turned toward him under the covers.
You felt bad about waking him up. He had his own bouts of insomnia, but it had been starting to get better, ever since you two moved in together permanently a couple of months ago.
You scooted closer to him, resting your head against his shoulder when he shifted onto his back. His arm came down around your waist, a comfortable weight that made you feel more secure.
“When was the last time you slept through the night?” he asked.
You breathed in deeply…and you let it out.
“I don’t know,” you replied.
He paused for a moment. Then he hummed in understanding. His hand moved slowly up and down your back.
You closed your eyes, but he still fell back asleep before you did.
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Both of you had to work in the morning. Ben watched you out of the corner of his eye as you got ready for the day.
He’d been waiting for you to come to him with whatever was on your mind, but you were keeping it to yourself. He didn’t push you. You were smart, and whatever you needed to work out, he would let you deal with it your way, as you so often did.
It didn’t seem to affect how you did your job. At Supe Affairs, no one was the wiser. They didn’t know about the concealer covering the bags under your eyes, or that you were adding a couple shots of espresso to your usual latte every morning.
No, the fun came long after your day was done. After you had showered and dressed for bed, with a silent undercurrent of anxiety hovering in the back of your mind.
Another night, another pain in your ass.
You kept your eyes open for as long as you could, but at 2:00 a.m., you couldn’t take it anymore.
The darkness claimed you.
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Three shots rang out. You ducked and took Yvette with you, but you choked on a gasp when you looked back…
Jon, your father, had a gloved fist punched through his chest cavity. 
You watched with wide eyes as Black Noir revoked his arm from your father’s body with a wet, horrific sound. You gasped when Jon fell to his knees.
But to your shock, the supe glanced right past you, Yvette, and Devon. His pale gray eyes focused on only the men in the room. He then strode forward and began picking them off one by one.
You shakily pointed out a large aisle of A-Train merchandise for your friend to hide behind. Yvette pulled her son in that direction, while you went to your father where he laid on the ground. 
With difficulty, you rolled him onto his back. You then laid a hand on his shoulder, while the other hovered over his chest. Blood pooled through the gaping chasm in his Vought-issued black jacket. 
Your lower lip trembled, and you realized then that you were crying as he struggled for breath. Even after everything he’d done to you—to your family—it still hurt you to see him like this…to know that he was dying. 
And there was no time. Not to save him, or for resolution…
“Dad,” you tried, but he stopped you. His brows were furrowed with pain, but he gripped your wrist tight. 
“Run,” he said. He held on for a moment or two longer, but when the light faded from his eyes, you closed yours. 
Your eyes wrenched open when a hand gripped your throat.
It was Black Noir, brandishing a katana between your eyes.
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“…ake up.”
Words that just barely registered as you sucked in shallow breaths.
A solid pair of arms were caging you, and you instinctively fought the hold, uttering a whimper.
“Hey,” he said firmly. “It’s me.”
You gasped and finally found Ben’s face in the dark of the room. You heaved for breath as you stared up at him.
Despite your relief, tears brimmed in your eyes. Your grip tightened on his arms as your lips trembled. You opened your mouth to speak, but all that came out was a sob.
Ben slid onto his side instead of looming above you. He guided you more securely into his arms, and you let yourself rest against his chest. You buried your face there and wept.
His fingers sorted through your hair as he tried to calm you.
“I’ve got you,” he rumbled. 
Your body was exhausted. Your chest was filled with anxiety, the remnants of fear, and frustration at yourself, that you couldn’t just get over this.
But you felt his lips at the crown of your head. The sound of his steady heartbeat beneath your cheek drowned out the sound of your rapid one, and it served to steady you too. Your hand splayed against his chest, connecting you with his warm skin.
You began to calm in his arms.
“I see my father die every night,” you whispered.
Finally, you admitted the things you hadn’t been able to for weeks.
“Black Noir, Vought crumbling, trying to find you,” you said, even though your voice was shaking. “Everything, all over again…except I never make it out.”
Ben let out a deep sigh. He nodded, his lips still brushing against your forehead.
“It’s just a dream,” he said.
You shook your head. “No, it’s not.”
He could concede to that. He didn’t know what else to say to you though. All he could think to do was hold you a bit tighter.
“It’ll fade,” he said eventually. “Give it time.”
You squeezed your eyes shut. A few tears fell through, but he brushed those away from your cheek.
When you were able to look up at him again, you asked him, “Has it all faded for you?”
Part of you already knew what he might say. As a result, you expected the way he hesitated.
“You know the answer to that,” he said. His fingers continued to sift through your hair, and you breathed easier at the pleasant sensation.
“They’re like battle wounds,” he continued. “They’ll just become scars.”
That wasn’t anything new for you, he knew. You’d had scars long before he met you.
You seemed to let his words sink in though. You nodded and pressed a kiss to his chest; a wordless thank you.
“Close your eyes,” he said, low and steady.
You hesitated, but you did as he said. You closed your eyes.
And when your breathing gentled into the deep calm of sleep, Ben allowed himself to try and do the same.
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AN: And there we have it. Short and angsty lol. But I can't write angst without a little hurt/comfort. 💚💚
I hope you liked this!
Keep Reading in the BMD-verse:
The one-shot that started it all (AKA: inspired the BMD story):
Summary: You’re not a supe. You’re breakable. Soldier Boy sometimes forgets that.
▶️ Next Story: Checkerboard
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