#i mean. yeah it's not a good thing but. i wouldn't poison anyone over it?? or try to force someone to marry me??

[s0dium]

I fucking hate him

A/n: One of the dialogues is lightly taken from "God of Ruin" by Rina Kentaken (plz check it out) Enjoy!!

Word count: 3.5k

Synopsis: You detest Yuji's uncle, Sukuna. His demeanor is rude and abrasive, and he is undoubtedly a sadist. You don't even try to hide your disdain, but the more you try to distance yourself from him, the stronger his opposition grows. Each attempt to push him away only seems to draw him in closer, closer, ever so close.

"You're fucking insufferable," you spat, your eyes narrowing with hatred. "You're pretentious," Sukuna shot back, a smug grin tugging at the corner of his mouth." No, you're a narcissist," you hiss" Yeah, but I turn you on," he purrs

Warning: Hate sex, rough sex, biting, fingering, edging, cowgirl, size kink, breeding, unprotected sex, slight voyeurism, breeding

You remember the day you met Sukuna for the first time like it was yesterday.

It was during the somber occasion of Wasuke Itadori's funeral—Yuji's beloved grandfather. The day was draped in a heavy sorrow; after the ceremony and the lowering of the casket, you followed the Itadori family back to their home. Being practically family yourself, and living just next door, it felt natural to join them and if not grieve, support the grieving family alongside them. While everyone gathered in the garden, sharing hushed memories and quiet support, you slipped inside the house to charge your phone.

As you stepped into the room, the air felt suddenly charged, like the prelude to a storm. There in the living room, was a man, a large man, lounging on one of the sofas dressed in a black suit and tie. The first thing you notice is his striking pink hair contrasting sharply with the dark, intricate tattoos that crawl up his neck and frame his face. His eyes, sharp and unyielding, fix on you the moment you enter, and his smirk is like a crack in a mask of indifference.

"You must be the famous dear friend of the family, Y/n right?" he drawls, his voice as smooth as silk and just as dangerous. "Heard a lot about you. All good things, I promise." His voice drips with sarcasm making you thickly gulp.

You hesitate by the doorway, your initial smile freezing on your lips. This was the Sukuna Ryomen? The man you'd heard only in hushed conversations between Jin and Choso, the man Yuji calls his uncle? You try to muster your composure, crossing the room to stand at a respectable distance.

"I wish I could say the same," you reply, aiming for polite but firm. Your voice wavers just slightly.

Sukuna chuckles, a sound that rumbles deep in his chest. "Oh, come now. No need for such defenses. I'm not the monster they painted in their tales. Or perhaps I am, and that's what intrigues you? What do you think so far" he bends forward. "Am I intriguing?"

You bristle at his words, the arrogance dripping from each syllable like poison. "I-I dont know about that." You curse yourself at the way your voice comes out as a stutter. "I'm here out of respect for your family."

"Respect," he repeats, tasting the word as if it's something exotic. "Funny, I never put much stock in that. The old man sure tried to teach me, shame he is gone. But perhaps you'll teach me its value?"

What the hell does he mean by that?

He stands suddenly, closing the distance between you with a few measured steps. You can’t help but step back, your back hitting the wall. His presence is overwhelming, suffocating.

"Why so tense?" Sukuna teases, leaning close, his breath ghosting over your cheek. "I'm just trying to get to know you better. After all, anyone who loves my family must have some redeeming qualities, hidden though they may be. Although," he tilts his head, as if analyzing you. "I wouldn't be surprised if they just kept you around cause you're a pretty thing to look at."

You feel a flush of anger and embarrassment heating your cheeks. "I think you've gotten to know enough for one day," you snap, ducking under his arm and striding toward the door. His laughter follows you, low and mocking.

"Oh, don't be like that!" he calls out. "We're just getting started!"

It only took a minute. One minute for you to decide that you hated Sukuna with a fucking passion.

Unfortunately, the fact that Sukuna had just gotten out of jail, did nothing to hamper your hatred. It seemed like ever since he got out, he was not only determined to stick to the family, but to you, like glue.

The Friday night dinners with the Itadori family, once cherished and loved, had practically turned into a battleground. What used to be a warm gathering was now filled with endless teasing and arrogant attempts at flirting. You were even hesitant to stay over now, as you were never to sure when you’d turn a corner and there Sukuna would be with some sleazy remark about your pajamas.

You tried talking to the Itadori family about it, tried complaining to Jin and raise your concerns. And as receptive and understanding as they were, you knew that for them, blood was thicker than anything, and in some part, you knew that applied to you too.

Still, you persisted, even now as you sat at another Friday dinner you were determined to just enjoy yourself with the family you loved so much.

Key word, tried.

"Well, Jin, I must say, this food is... quaint.” He says through a chuckle and you have to bite the inside of your cheek from throwing a fork at him right there and then. “Did you burn it on purpose, or was that just a happy accident?"

"Dude," You breathe a sigh of relief when Choso speaks up, his voice calm but firm. "Can you go one day without being a jerk?" His eyes are fixed on Sukuna, echoing the frustration you both share about his behavior. This solidarity is one of the reasons why you feel closest to Choso in the family. His understanding and shared grievances with the insufferable man were one of the reasons why you two were best friends.

"Please, I bet this food beats anything you had in prison." You whisper under your breath, but audibly enough that others catch it when you hear Choso breathe through his nose in a laugh-like snort.

Sukuna sets down his silverware and leans forward with a grin, his eyebrows raised in amusement as he gazes across the table at you. "Oh, someone's got a sharp tongue," he remarks. "Careful, angel, you might cut yourself."

You roll your eyes and sharply cross your arms. "Funny, coming from someone who probably had to beg for scraps behind bars. Do you even know what real food tastes like?"

You don’t miss the way Yuji chokes on his pasta, stifling back laughter making you smile.

Sukuna's lips curve into a sly smirk as he locks eyes with you. "Oh trust me, I've tasted a lot of things. But I guess you wouldn't understand, being so... sheltered."

Unfazed, you shoot back with a dismissive wave of your hand, "Sheltered? Please. At least I don’t need to rely on prison slop to remind me of home."

This time, Sukuna's response is a silent, piercing stare that makes you shift uncomfortably in your seat. Even though you were wearing a sweater and shorts, his gaze made you feel like you were naked.

From the corner, Jin clears his throat, chuckling nervously. "Um, maybe we should all just calm down a bit—"

You cut him off, your voice firm as you defend the meal laid out before you. “No way, not when he disrespects your food, which is great, may I add.”

"Oh, I love it when you get all fired up." Sukuna's eyes glint with mischief as he watches your rising frustration. "It's adorable."

Feeling the heat rush to your cheeks, you stand up abruptly, pushing your chair back with a scrape. "Excuse me, I think I'm full," you declare crisply, gathering your dishes with a clatter and storming off to the kitchen to dump them in the sink. Without a backward glance, you stride toward the living room, your footsteps echoing your irritation.

"Come on, why do you always gotta be such an ass, Uncle?" Yuji mumbles, shooting a glare at Sukuna who only responds with a shrug.

As you sank into the couch cushions, you let out a deep sigh of relief, your body sinking into the familiar comfort of your favorite spot. You turned on the TV, dazedly watching whatever was on, trying to distract yourself from the day's tensions. Of course, thoughts of Sukuna kept creeping into your mind. What was his problem with you? Did the man get dropped on the head as a baby? How and the hell were he and Jin brothers?? Surely he was the result of some fucked up science experiment.

Engulfed in your thoughts, the passage of time slipped unnoticed until a shift in the couch's cushion snapped you back to reality. You turned, and -

Oh what the fuck.

Sukuna settled next to you, leaning on the armrest of the other side of the couch, a tattooed hand settled on his thigh, He had changed into a white tank top and sweatpants, and you feel your heart jump when your eyes unconsciously travel to between his leg where a slight budge pressed against the fabric. Shit. The tips of your ears turned red and you bit the inside of your cheek. That's another thing you loathed about Sukuna; how the scent of his old spice shampoo made you dizzy, how the way he towered over you made your breathing stop, how despite how fucking insufferable he was, he was so so so attractive.

"What the hell are you doing here?" you choked out, your tone edged with disbelief and irritation.

Sukuna raised an eyebrow, unfazed. "What does it look like? Watching TV," he replied coolly, his eyes briefly scanning the screen before settling back on you. "Everyone's gone to sleep, you know."

"No, what are you doing sitting next to me?" you hissed, the proximity suddenly feeling far too close despite the physical distance. Your eyes narrowed, locking onto his vermillion eyes.

"Why you afraid I'll bite?" He says, gnashing his teeth together in a teasing display before moving closer to you. "Don't worry, I only bite when I'm asked."

"S-stop talking to me like that," you say, trying to shuffle back, but find yourself already trapped against the armrest.

"Like what?" Sukuna's voice is teasing, almost playful.

"Like I'm your toy."

He tilts his head slightly and leans forward, a smirk playing at his lips. "More like my doll."

"More like your grim reaper. I'll slice your throat if you touch me," you retort sharply, the tension between you crackling. You watch the way his eyes rake over you like a porn magazine, making you cross your arms as if to shield yourself.

He laughs, a sound rich with amusement. "You're such a menace. I want to gobble you up."

As he inches closer, the scent of his shampoo fills the air—a fragrance so intoxicating you want to bury your nose in it, yet you resist. "I'll give you indigestion, asshole," you snap, trying to maintain your composure.

"Worth it, muse," he counters smoothly, his eyes locking onto yours.

"Sure you're going to be thinking about that when I punch you in the face?"

"Oh, and make me bleed? Blood?" He licks his lips. "Yum." He feigns shock, leaning even closer. "You just keep ticking all my boxes today. Did you do your research on me?"

"Not even if you were the last man alive," you choke out, his proximity overwhelming, his face just inches from yours now. A slight move, and your noses would brush against each other.

"Last man to everyone else? No. To you? Highly likely." His whisper is a taunt, his breath a warm tease against your skin.

That's it.

As you attempt to rise from the couch, Sukuna's large hand swiftly lands on your thigh, pressing just firmly enough to guide you back down onto the cushion. You react instinctively, trying to swat his hand away, but he's quicker; he catches both of your wrists in his grasp, holding them gently yet with an unyielding firmness.

"What the hell are you doing?" you demand, your voice sharp with alarm and a flare of anger, your eyes locked intensely on his, searching for an explanation in his steady gaze.

"Jesus christ Y/n" Sukuna groans, rolling his eyes, "How long are we going to keep this thing of ours going?"

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Our thing? What thing?”

“The thing where we act like we hate each other but actually want to fuck the brains out of each other.” He chuckles.

Your eyes widen and you feel your face grow deathly hot. You try to step back, and get some space, some room to breathe, but the hand on your wrist keeps you from doing so.

“I-fuck you” The words come out of your mouth more soft and meager than you intended to, and you find yourself locked into his blue gaze.

“Believe me, I've thought about it.” His voice is low, and his face isn't painted with a shit-eating grin like it so usually is, he's serious and stern. You stay silent as you watch him examine your face. He leans in, close enough to kiss you, raises his right hand and runs his finger tips down your face.

"Will you bite my tongue if I kiss you?"

"Maybe"

Sukuna's mouth crashes onto yours, hard, angry, and demanding. He doesn't even give you a chance to resist, not even a breath. His lips are fierce against yours, stealing every breath you try to take. Your hands instinctively move to push him away, but instead, you find yourself gripping his shirt, pulling him closer.

You meet his aggression with equal force, your lips moving furiously against his. His hands cup your face roughly, holding you in place as his tongue demands entry. You respond with a whine, opening up to him, your tongues tangling in a heated dance.

Every kiss is a challenge, every touch a dare. You bite his lower lip, drawing a groan from him that vibrates through you. His hands slide down to your waist, pulling you flush against him. The intensity of the moment leaves you breathless, hot, and angry.

Your fingers thread through his hair, tugging sharply as if to remind him you won't be dominated easily. He retaliates by pressing you harder against the cushions, so you have no choice but to melt into him.

In one swift motion, Sukuna pulls back just enough to yank his shirt over his head, revealing muscles lined with black tattoos beneath. Before you can even take a breath, he’s back, his mouth claiming yours with renewed fervor. His hands move to your shirt, fingers pulling at the fabric of your sweater. You break the kiss for a mere second as he tugs your shirt off, then he dives back in, his lips crashing against yours with a hunger that makes your head spin.

His hands roam over your newly exposed skin, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. Your breath hitches as his fingers find the waistband of your pants. He undoes them with a practiced ease, pushing them down and leaving you in just underwear and bra, feeling vulnerable and exposed.

"W-what do you think you're doing?" you stutter, trying to maintain some semblance of control.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he replies, his voice low and filled with a wicked amusement.

He leans in, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispers, "I'm gonna fuck you." His hands slide over your hips, pulling your pants down completely, and you shiver at the sensation of his touch.

You whine when he places his knee between your legs which pushes against your clothed crotch. You involuntarily buck up your hips to try and gain more friction, making Sukuna chuckle; his shit eating grin widening.

“Needy, arent you?”

Your instinct is to tell him to fuck off, but he is already hooking a finger under your pastel pink panties; pulling the material down to reveal your cunt. You mentally curse yourself at the fact that you're already wet, a fact that will sure to swell Sukuna's ego.

Your hands fly down to hide yourself but he swats them away, giving you a glare before sliding a finger up and down your wet slit; collecting the juices before pushing a digit into your tight hole.

"S-shit." your groan, and the moment you clench around him, a sickening grin spreads across his tattooed face.

"Always knew you where gonna feel great around me."

The first curl of his fingers knocks the wind out of you, as it hits the sweet spot inside of you that you could only dream to reach on your own.

“Hah~ I cant-” You whimper, stomach clenching and legs trembling from the pleasure. You want to say you hate this, tell him to get off of you but you can't, you can't even think straight. You even push your hips out, angling them so his digits reach deeper into that sweet spot that sends tendrils of electricity through your body. But before you can fully bask in the pleasure, before you can taste your orgasm on your tongue, he pulls his fingers out.

"You think I'm gonna let you cum so early? After all the shit you have pulled?" His hand flies to your throat wrapping around it with a force that belies the strength behind it. Your breath hitches, a strange mix of fear and exhilaration coursing through your veins. His touch is firm, and commanding, but there’s an undeniable pleasure in the way his fingers tighten slightly, reminding you of the power he holds.

"Nah no way." Sukuna chuckles "Your just gonna have to suck it up."

You try to speak, but his grip tightens just enough to cut off your words, leaving you gasping. The pressure on your throat is intoxicating, a strange pleasure mingling with the discomfort. You can feel your pulse throbbing under his hand. You are so dazed that you don’t even notice he has pulled out his dick until you feel something big pressing against your entrance, making you look down and your eyes widen as you do so.

You’re about to open your mouth to say something, what, you do not know, but all of a sudden Sukuna pushes his dick into you until his hips are flushed against yours. It feels like you're being split in two, and the way his tip smushes against your cervix makes you unable to find your breath. The unfamiliar feeling has you squirming and clenching around his cock; body desperately trying to push out the foreign intrusion.  

“Shit you gotta loosen up doll, cant fuck you like this.” There were veins popping on his temple as he started to rub tight circles on your clit. Bolts of pleasure shoot up your body, and you desperately try to relax your body.

“Atta girl” He coos, withdrawing his hips before slamming into your.

The first thrust completely knocks the wind out of you. The collision with your gspot has you arching your back of the couch; eyes screwed shut and letting out a loud moan. He's girth spread you so well, so much, and the friction was so delicious, tears blotted your eyesight. Your skin is buzzing, and your entire lower half is shaking from the pleasure. Sukuna's pace is brutal, unforgiving, and he has to grab the arm rest above you with one arm to help his brutal and unforgiving pace into you.

Your mind grows hazy, lost in the sensation of how good he was fucking you, but then, without explanation, a spark of defiance ignites within you. Suddenly, you find the strength to flip him over, his dick not leaving the warmth of your cunt once and so you were effectively laying on top of him, your legs on either side of his body. With your chest flushed against his, and your ass perked up in the air, you begin to fuck yourself on his dick, raising your hips up and down his length as if he was a dildo.

"Oh thats it." Sukuna is not a whining man but here he is, his voice cracking from the feeling and sight of you riding him. "Fuck yourself on me shit shit shit."

You are practically drooling on his chest, your eyes rolling back from how good he felt against your G spot.

You let a whine when you feel yourself start to get tired so Sukuna grabs your hips and starts fucking you on his length.

Fap.Fap.Fap

"Gonna cum in you baby ok?" He murmurs into your ear and you dazedly nod.

Suddenly you feel your stomach dip and your mind go blank. Your mind feels as though it’s been dipped in pure euphoria, thoughts scattering like leaves in the wind, replaced by an overwhelming wave of bliss that drowns out everything else. Your body responds in kind, muscles tensing and releasing in perfect harmony with the pleasure coursing through you. It’s as if every cell is vibrating with delight, your skin tingling with a heightened sensitivity that makes even the slightest touch feel like a divine caress. The heat of the sensation is intoxicating, making your limbs feel weightless as if you’re floating on a cloud of pure, unadulterated joy.

Sukuna is quick to follow, shooting ropes of thick cum that glide down his shaft onto his balls.

"See? We are practically made for each other."

[yesimwriting]

oh my god yes i'm very much interested in a drabble about my favourite besties kissing as besties do!!!!!!!!

the one that i really can't stop thinking about is the "i trust you more than anyone else" stuff like it's me and you against the world i'm such a sucker for that!! especially since felix is surrounded by people who wanna be close to him all the time and as easy going and open as he seems with anyone, it's of course on an entirely different level with reader

ugh the intimacy of it all makes me melt i love them😭😭

you get the vision!!

also had to start off a little angstier than usual bc the bestie kiss ™️ is only justifiable if both of them are upset enough to be more focused on being close than anything else, y'know

----

The taste lingers. The bitterness infects all it touches, poisoning you from the inside out as you down the drink that some guy pushed into your hand a few minutes ago.

A familiar warning briefly flashes to the front of your mind. Don't take drinks from strangers...especially not drinks that you didn't see them make. One of a hundred safety rules that you usually adhere to.

You've never really under the self destructive urge after drinking thing. Maybe it's just being tired. Maybe it's just this.

You wipe at your eyes with your palm, only remembering the products you had so carefully applied to your skin a few hours ago after the fact.

"Are you--" A familiar voice cuts through the music. You blink once, but it's not enough to force your eyes to adjust, so you try again. After screwing your eyes shut for a second, you can finally make out the person in front of you. Annabel. "You don't look like you're doing too good."

Your irritation has nothing to do with her, and yet seeing her standing there, effortlessly flawless with a slight edge that just fits here, you feel the knot in your stomach tighten. But that's not her fault, so as stabiliy and politely as possible, you answer, "I'm...fine."

She regards you for a moment, eyebrows pinching together in uncertainty. "Why don't we find Felix, yeah?"

Why does everyone always assume that Felix is the solution to all of your problems? "I'm okay," you try again, voice a little more certain, "really."

Annabel still doesn't seem too convinced. She turns her head, scanning the crowded room. It doesn't take long for her to find Felix. It never does.

He's sitting on a loveseat that's been pushed towards the edge of the room. A few people are standing around him, a girl is sitting on the chair's arm, her legs swung over his lap.

"And he seems..." You force your face to remain neutral as your eyes finally land on him. "Busy."

Annabel looks back at you, her lips pressing together. Her expression only adds to your unease. "He wouldn't mind. It's you."

You shake your head, the motion adding to your slight nausea. Usually, you wouldn't think twice about sticking by Felix's side. Especially in this kind of setting, but after the words the two of you exchanged earlier, everything feels off its axis.

You're not used to fighting with Felix. It's such a foreign concept that the strange tension that had you walking away from him earlier probably doesn't even constitute an actual argument. But it's enough to make you feel out of place.

Swallowing once, you force yourself to focus on Annabel. "I think I just need some air." Annabel's still regarding you with uncertainty. "I'll be back in a minute, and if I feel sick or anything, I'll go get Felix." She doesn't move until someone calls her name. "Go. Have fun. I'll see you."

Annabel nods once, giving you a polite smile before leaving.

The door is near where Felix is sitting, which means there's no leaving without walking past him. There's enough of a crowd around him that him not noticing is a likely option, so you feel safe crossing the room.

You push your way through the room, eyes trained on the ground to help your balance. It's also a good excuse to not look at Felix as you reach the door.

There are stragglers--a group of girls chatting and giggling in front of the door, some guys doing shots, a girl in the middle of a phone call that looks painful.

You walk around the side of the house until you find an empty section of the sidewalk. The party feels far away here, even though the only thing dividing you is a few cars, a mailbox, and a streetlight. You sit and let yourself pretend that the bit of distance you've managed to create means something.

You could actually leave. Sure, this is a slightly off campus house party, but it's only a few blocks away from the street that'll take you to your dorm. You did walk here, but that was when you were focused, sober, and you had Felix with you.

But that's--you brought cash. You think. Maybe you should call a cab. It's not the worst idea. You drop your attention to the ground, instinctually searching for your purse.

Ugh. Your purse. Felix. You gave it to Felix.

Okay, you're still an independent person. This is probably for the best. It's never a good idea to leave a party without at least telling the person you came with, and this way it won't be a big deal. You'll ask for your purse so that you can call a cab. He probably won't even care.

You just need a minute to get it together. Then you'll be able to go back in, tap Felix on his shoulder, and get your purse. He won't even have to get that girl off his lap.

It is such a double standard. Felix completely forgetting about you is perfectly fine, but you talk to one person that isn't more Felix's friend than yours at one of these things and that must mean you're trying to replace him as a best friend.

Maybe you've been deluding yourself, convincing yourself that your friendship means more than it actually does. The thought makes it hard to breathe right.

"It's cold out."

Your palms press into asphalt as you snap your head to find the source of the sound. Felix. A lump wedges itself in your throat. "I'm fine." He takes a step forward. "I just wanted some air."

You turn your head, forcing yourself to stare ahead. Soft footsteps, the crunching of asphalt echoes, somehow sharper than the music coming from the house. Felix sits.

He's farther than he usually is.

You lift your hands, taking your time brushing your fingers against your palms to get rid of the debris that indented itself into your skin. "You um--you have my purse, right?" You fold your hands against your lap. "I need my phone. I--I need to call a taxi."

"What?" His voice doesn't come out angry, but there's a flatness there that burrows deep into the pit of your stomach. It almost feels disappointed. "Why?"

You squeeze your hands together, "I want to go home." You still can't look at him. "I want to go back to my room." Your voice starts to crack on the last word. Nails instinctually dig into your knee.

Felix sighs, angling himself towards you, "You don't have to do that." His voice is soft, cautious. "If you want to leave, I'll take you."

"No," you shake your head once, attention still focused forward to keep him from noticing the fact that your eyes are now watering. All of this feels so dumb, so small. Why are you almost crying? "It's okay, you're having fun, I can get back by myself."

He lets out another breath, moving his arm so that his hand sits between both of you. "You're drunk."

"So are you."

A beat of silence that feels like an attempt at admitting that he's more than just drunk. You saw Tyler--or Trevor, or maybe Timothy--wandering the halls. Some guy whose name you can never remember because he only shows up at the end of nights, when you're too out of it to do much more than just be happy. He's known for carrying--and sharing--harder stuff.

Not that you'd know. There's nowhere that Felix won't take you, nothing that he keeps from you. That's part of the beauty of your friendship, the lack of judgement. But Felix isn't fond of you participating in everything all the time.

If you ever show interest in anything on a night that Felix isn't feeling too sure about, he'll offer to get you whatever you want later, when it's just the two of you. Maybe you'd mind his concern if you cared about getting high more.

You can feel Felix's stare, the weight of his full attention. "You don't actually think I'm going to let you go anywhere alone, after drinking, in the middle of the night."

There's a patience there that makes it hard to sit still. You turn your head, finally looking at him, "I'm fine. I can--" You cut yourself off with a slight sniffle.

You wipe at your face with the side of your palm. Felix's eyebrows are pinched together. You don't know what to make of the way he's watching you. Felix lifts his hand, fingers finding their way against your jaw before you can move. "You're upset."

Pressing your lips together, you try to force yourself to look as neutral as possible. "I'm fine." He doesn't move. "You should go back to your party, Felix."

"The party?" His expression briefly contorts in confusion. "I don't care about the party." Your vision is starting to blur. "There are other parties. You're crying." Felix shifts his hand up your face, his thumb brushing against the apple of your cheek.

You try to take a stabilizing breath, "It's not a big deal." You will yourself to move, to rely on him less. "I don't think I'm going to be any fun tonight, you should go, and I--I'll talk you tomorrow."

He frowns. "You don't have to be any fun." Felix shouldn't have to coddle you. Embarrassment and guilt further knot your stomach. "If you want to sit here, we can sit here. If you want to go inside, we can go inside. If you want to go home, we'll go home."

"Earlier," you manage, focusing on keeping your voice as even as possible, "When we--" Tears pool in your eyes, something at the back of your throat constricts. "I didn't--I don't know--"

You're not making sense, forcing out fragments of thoughts that don't work together. Felix seems to understand anyway, his thumb grazing against your cheek. "We don't have to talk about that now." You nod slowly. "If you still want to go home, let me take you."

You attempt a full breath, "But what ab--"

He tilts his head in a way that makes it feel like he's telling you a secret, "If you ask about the party again, I'm calling you delusional."

You roll your eyes. It's a relatively lame threat, but it serves its purpose. The corner of your mouth tugs itself upwards, your lips pressed together to hold in a partial laugh. "Okay."

Felix's hand slips from the side of your face and finds a new place against your shoulder. "Yeah? Let's go then."

He stands first and then extends an arm to help you. His stability makes it easier.

There is no laughter or pausing on sidewalks to try to hold onto each other. The two of you are quiet, but Felix does keep your fingers intertwined the entire way back to his dorm.

You don't think to question where he's taking you until you're in his room. "Felix." The walk had been good for you, the fresh air and time to gather your thoughts providing enough of a reprieve for you to get it together. "I want to go to sleep."

"Yeah," he mumbles, "I know, I'll get you your favorite shirt."

Your eyes focus on the ground. "I think I should sleep in my room tonight."

Felix sighs, turning away from the door. "You're trying to leave again."

The accusation only half makes sense, but there's a quietness to his voice that gets to you. All the nervous, alcohol fueled energy is coming back with a vengeance. "When have I ever left you?"

Felix scoffs, the sound bitter. "You left me tonight." If his voice was any less raspy, any less urging, you likely would have laughed. He's the one that got mad at you. "You just--you walked away from me. Like I didn't even matter to you."

The a thinly veiled sadness there that almost feels nervous. He can't meet your gaze. The pride encouraging you to stand still bleeds from you. Without its heat, its fire, there's not much keeping you stable.

You move forward, footsteps cautious. "Felix." You stretch a hand forward, fingers brushing against his forearm. He doesn't move. "Of course you matter to me. So much." Your fingers bend around his wrist. "You're my best friend."

He turns his arm. Your body tenses, preparing for his rejection. Felix's hand squeezes yours. There's a tension in his hold, but you embrace it all the same. "You walked away from me."

You take another step towards him, freehand finding his arm. "That's why." He sets a hand against you waist. The contact is firm, unforgiving. There's still hurt, but the only thing more unthinkable than holding on is letting go. "What you say means so much to me, because you're my best friend." His fingers press into your side. "And you were upset--and there were so many people--" Tears prick the corner of your eyes. "And I couldn't do that there."

"No." He squeezes your hand. "No, don't--don't cry, we're okay." As if to prove his point, Felix pulls you closer. The movement's too sudden for you to keep your balance on your own. You tighten your hold on Felix's arm. "Still my best girl, yeah?"

This is nowhere near the closest you've ever been to him. He has a hand on your hip, but that's far from the touchiest he's ever been. It shouldn't--he shouldn't be this distracting. It takes you a second too long to remember to nod.

He angles his head downwards, his cheek finding a place against your shoulder. Felix's breath is warm against your neck. "Wouldn't leave me."

You nod, moving your hand to rest against his back. Felix relaxes against you. It's not easy to stay stable with the alcohol still in your system and Felix's weight on you, but you manage.

"No." You mean it so much it almost hurts to get out. You'd never walk away from him. There's nothing like your bond with Felix. You could talk to him, be around him forever without feeling drained. "Of course not."

Felix turns his head, brushing his lips against your neck. "Stay over, then?" The question is soft, fragile. It'd be smart to create distance. If tonight's proven anything, it's that you're too attached to him. "Please?"

You smooth your knuckles against his spine. "Okay." He presses a kiss against your shoulder. "Yeah. I'll stay."

He hugs you even tighter. "No more tears, alright?"

You squeeze him back. "Alright."

For awhile, the two of you stay like that. There's nothing left to say, and that still manages to be comfortable. Silence is never uncomfortable with Felix.

He eventually shifts to place a kiss against the side of your neck. "We should get ready for bed."

You hum once in agreement. Neither of you move. Things are simple when you factor out the rest of the world. Things are easy when it's just you and Felix.

An overwhelming wave of fondness brings you back. As gently as possible, you start the process of untangling limbs. Felix pouts at you, expression drowsier than before.

Your fingers carefully brush his hair out of his face. "I need to change."

Felix fully straightens. His hand finds the back of your head. He pulls you towards him, pressing a kiss against your forehead. "Okay."

He lets go of you before walking towards his dresser. Felix opens the top drawer and finds your usual sleep shirt. You take it before entering his bathroom.

Going out outfits are cute, but there's something about the moment you get home that immediately forces every ounce of discomfort to hit all at once. You shed the restrictive layers before pulling Felix's T-shirt over your head.

You swear there's some kind of rich guy secret to keeping clothes this soft. A combination of fabric, fancy detergent, and some third thing that's reserved for those in the know.

You turn on the sink, ready to wash what's left of the night off of your face. Felix has never gotten rid of or moved anything you've left in here. What's left of your buzz has you more emotional than usual, making the evidence of your life in his space heavier than it should be.

The feeling is good and bad all at once. Your attachment to Felix is the kind of thing that can only come from fully understanding someone. But there's an inherent danger in knowing someone like that, carrying about them like that. Especially Felix, who has everyone so he doesn't need anyone.

You splash some more water onto your face, attempting to shake off any lingering angst. You don't want to dissect your friendship until it eventually falls apart into nothingness.

When you finally step back into his room, Felix is sitting on his bed, back pressed against the wall. He's managed to change into pajama pants, but seems to be struggling with everything else. His shirt's half unbuttoned, and his fingers are actively working at undoing the rest of them. Felix's movements are slow and clumsy as he tugs on the fabric.

Wow. Maybe you were right to think he was high. "Hey." He looks up at you, hands still attempting to pull apart his shirt. There's something endearing about the clumsiness. He drops his head back down to refocus."Do you--uh--do you need help?"

He angles his head to one side, a smile playing at his lips. "Are you asking to undress me?"

Heat burns through your chest, leaving you hollow. You approach his dresser, leaving your neatly folded outfit on the wooden surface. "Figure out your own shirt."

"No," his sigh is light, almost a laugh, "'M kidding." Your glare only seems to add to his easygoing mood. He smiles, dropping a hand to pat the space next to him. "Come here."

You give in with a sigh, crossing the room and sitting at the foot of his bed. He reaches forward, briefly squeezing your shoulder before returning to work on his shirt. It's hard to watch him stumble through undoing a single button, just to have to start the process all over again.

You pull your legs onto the bed, turning to fully face him. Your knee is pressed against his thigh.

"Lovie," he hums, as if your presence is some kind of revelation.

"Felix." He grins, hands releasing his shirt in favor of trying to grasp your arm. "Wait--" His fingers wrap around your wrist. "I'm--trying--" He pulls your hand towards him, placing a kiss against your knuckles. You laugh. "I'm trying to help you."

He tugs on your arm. His pull isn't harsh, but the unexpectedness of it paired with your buzz makes it enough to throw off your balance. Your freehand presses against the mattress in an attempt to stabilize yourself. Felix laughs, tugging on you again.

Fighting your own fit of giggles, you instinctually push yourself onto your knees in an attempt to regain some control. Felix gives you a second to find your footing. You gently pull his hand off of your forearm and set it on his lap. He frowns.

You extend your arms, placing your hands on his shoulders. Part of the reason for it is to help keep you stable, the rest of it is to keep him focused. He looks up at you, eyes pools of hesitant affection. "Stay still."

He lets you reach for his shirt. "Y'don't have to, I'm okay."

Shrugging, you continue to work at unclasping his buttons. "It's okay, I like helping you."

You unbutton the few buttons that are left. "Better?" Felix nods. "I'll get you a pajama shirt."

Before you can get far, Felix grabs your hand. "We're..." He focuses on bending and straightening your fingers. "Good, right?"

There's something soft about the question, almost shy. "Yeah." He turns over your palm, tracing the lines etched into your skin. "Of course we're good." You adjust, crossing your legs beneath you to sit down.

"Honestly, I was thinking about it, and part of the reason I was upset is because..." This is harder to admit than you thought it'd be. "You seemed really okay without me, and that--I don't know. It's dumb, because I really do want you to be happy, but it made me feel a little replaceable, I guess."

"What?"

You sigh, dropping your attention to your intertwined hands. "I know, I said it was dumb." You pause, eyes darting up to look at him. His expression isn't judgmental or like he needs space. You can't fully read his expression, but nothing about the way he's looking at you feels unkind. "I only mentioned it to be honest, I don't like the idea of keeping se--"

He pulls on your arm again, this time his hold a little firmer. You're closer now. Felix's other hand finds your hip, anchoring you in place. You're too confused to do anything but blink at him.

Felix lets go of your arm, fingers finding their way beneath your chin. He angles your head so that all of your attention is on him. Your lips part, a half thought out question is on the tip of your tongue when Felix leans towards you. His lips meet yours.

You're still, shock and something a lot more electric rendering you in capable of anything else. This isn't the first time Felix has pressed his lips against yours. He's affectionate, especially when drinking is involved. He'll brush his lips against yours after taking a shot together, or just because at the end of a long night. It's not an everyday thing, but it's happened from time to time.

This--this isn't that. He's lingering, lips parting so that his teeth can graze against your bottom lip. Felix pulls away just enough to look you in the eye. His thumb brushes across your cheek.

"You're my best friend." Felix's words are so urging, so pleading you nod before you can think. "Best mate. You're the--the only one that gets me. Really gets me." His hand moves to the back of your head, pulling you back to him.

Any sense of hesitance vanishes the second time he kisses you. He's all consuming, lips dragging against yours with a desperate patience that's dizzying. It's disorientating, the desire to be that much closer to someone when there's no way to get there.

Felix's hand finds your back. He pushes you towards him. There's no good way to oblige. You try anyway, shifting your weight back onto your knees. Felix pulls you forward by your waist. You're too focused on him to realize what's happening until you're on his lap.

He takes his time letting you go, teeth tugging on your bottom lip. "I trust you more than anyone." Felix leans back in, placing a quick kiss against your lips. "You're not replaceable." He squeezes your shoulder. "You know that, right?"

Still breathless, you nod. He's watching you with so much patience, so much care it's almost hard to bare.

His thumb smooths circles against your shoulder. "Let's go to bed, yeah?"

You lift his hand off your thigh to press a kiss against the back of his palm. "Yeah, lets go to bed."

He squeezes your shoulder once before letting you go. You move off of his lap carefully.

Felix sits up enough to push his shirt off of his shoulders. Your eyes instinctually fall to his sheets. "Do you want me to get you a shirt?"

"Why? Distracted?"

You roll your eyes in an attempt to the fact that you are struggling to look at him. "Shut up."

He grins as he pulls back his sheets. "M'okay." You take the opportunity to slip beneath the layers of fabric. Felix waits until you're settled to crawl beneath the sheets. "It's warm enough, even with you stealing my blankets."

"I do not," the sentence is more of a mock gasp than anything else. Felix shifts onto his side before collapsing his weight on you. "Felix."

"What?" He rests his cheek against your chest. "This is the only way to keep you from taking my sheets."

You sigh, feigning annoyance as your fingers find his hair. "Rude. I'm a great bed sharer."

Felix lets out a partial laugh against the side of your neck. His hand finds your hip. "You are pretty great."

Your hand trails down towards his back, nails grazing against the bare skin. "You are, too."

Silence stretches between the two of you for so long you assume that he's already fallen asleep. Felix has a talent for drifting off in the blink of an eye.

"Lovie?" He whispers the term so lowly you almost convince yourself the sound is a figment of your imagination.

"Yeah?"

You can feel the shift in his breathing. "It's you and me--just you and me, when it comes down to it." His thumb brushes up and down your side. "You know that."

He relaxes as your fingers trail down the start of his spine. "Yeah. Of course I know that." A part of you feels naive for believing his words so easily. He's too adored to just be your Felix at the end of the day, and yet-- "Just you and me."

Felix leaves an open mouthed kiss against collarbone. It's the kind of warm that leaves goosebumps breaking out everywhere the contact can't be felt. "Good."

----

taglist; @vader-is-hot @spiritofbuddha @getosangie @freyafriggafrey @ilovehyperfixating @aryiannarae @willowpains @ker0senebunny

[apocalypseornaw]

Love You Better (Pt 3/5)

Dean Winchester x Reader

The distance between you and Dean starts to take a toll. How much longer can the tension between the two of you continue before it snaps? And can your relationship survive his insecurities

I think only warnings are cursing and some sort of talk about sex

You weren't sure what exactly had woke you up. You blinked a couple times to let your eyes adjust to the darkness in the room. Nothing was out of place and you could hear Sam's snores coming from the adjoining room. You laid there a second before you heard Dean barely whisper your name.

You turned over to face him and saw in his face he was in pain. He looked broken even asleep. You gently touched his arm "Dean?" He jolted awake, green eyes wide as he took a few breaths. He finally focused on you so you asked if he was ok. He nodded "Yeah, I'm good" you knew he was lying but you also knew pushing it wouldn't work. "You called my name in your sleep. Bad dream?" He nodded quickly "The usual, you getting hurt" if you had been anyone else you would've believed that but there was a hesitation in his eyes, his touch that told you there was more.

You moved closer to him and laid your head over on his chest "Well try to get more sleep. I'm right here" he smiled but it didn't even reach his eyes. He leaned down and pressed a feather light kiss to your lips before settling back onto the pillows.

You were worried about him. You needed to ask Sam about the fallout from the time he'd gotten poisoned by a Djinn before, maybe call Charlie too since she'd dealt with it. After a moment of listening his heart beat under your ear you felt sleep nipping at your mind to pull you back under.

Dean watched as you told Jax goodbye. He still wasn't sure of the reason the two of you had split. If he was being honest Jax was a decent guy and from what he'd seen and heard had damn near worshiped the ground you walked on.

--------

You hugged Jax and he whispered into your ear "You and Dean are a good fit" you pulled back and smiled "I'd like to think so" then motioned around the garage "This place seems to be doing well, I'm happy for you"

He nodded over to where Dean was leaning against the impala talking to Sam "Looks like we both landed where we were meant to" you hugged him once more before saying "Don't be a stranger"

-------

He walked you over to the impala and offered his hand to Dean first. When Dean shook it he smiled "Was good working with you again Dean. Take care man" Dean nodded "You too"

Jax shook Sam's hand too and thanked him for the help before the three of you decided to hit the road home.

-------------

You'd gotten about sixty miles from Austin and Dean was being a little distant still. You weren't sure what was wrong. He'd even let a few songs you knew he loved pass without so much as drumming along on the steering wheel. You cut your eyes up at Sam to see if he'd noticed but his eyes were on his phone screen checking emails.

You let out a breath then leaned up between the two of them to kiss Dean on the cheek "if you want me to drive I promise I can treat her right. You didn't sleep too well last night" he shook his head but a slight smile pulled at his lips "I'm good sweetheart"

You nodded and leaned back in the seat, he'd talk to you eventually. You had to trust that.

Dean walked up the steps to Bobby's porch. He could hear the sound of music from inside. Certain things stuck out as feeling out of place. Like the junkyard had organization to it, the paint on the house was fresh and wasn't peeled anywhere not to mention the flowers blooming in the garden.

The nagging at the back of his mind grew worse but he pushed it down. He knew where he was, this was Bobby's there was no way anything too much was wrong. He hesitated with his hand on the knob and before he could turn it the door opened and there you stood.

"Sweetheart I think something is wrong" your eyes widened slightly but you nodded "What do you mean Dean?" Then looked around behind him "Where's Lisa? Did she get called into work last minute?" The confusion he felt he knew was visible on his face "Lisa?" Before he could question further he heard Jax's voice calling your name. The man in question came into view behind you and nodded to Dean before slipping an arm around your waist "Baby what's going on?"

Dean could feel his blood boiling as you turned to look up at Jax "I don't know. Dean was saying something was wrong and Lisa couldn't make it" Dean motioned between the two of you "What is going on?"

Your smile faltered slightly "We're celebrating Jax opening up two more garages across Texas. You don't remember?" He shook his head "I think I need to sit down" you stepped out of Jax's embrace to offer him a hand but he shook his head again "I'm good"

You stepped back to let him past you and he heard you tell Jax to go get some water and Ellen? Ellen was alive?

You followed Dean into the living room and sat next to him on the couch, your eyes full of worry "Should I call Lisa? Sam should be here soon" He shook his head and started to ask what was going on but noticed a ring on your left hand. His heart clenched in his chest as he motioned to it "That new?" You looked down at the ring then smiled brightly "We were gonna tell everyone over dinner but yes, Jax proposed last night"

He stared at you for a long second "How long have you two been together?" Your eyes furrowed slightly before you said "Dean did something happen? An accident or something?" He shrugged "I don't think so" you nodded slowly then said "Remember me and you had a fling but then after that wreck that we got into with Sam and Bobby I don't know I guess we started pulling away from each other. You ended up getting back with Lisa then Jax asked me out. That was God six years ago now?"

He felt like the room got ten degrees hotter, he could feel his chest tightening "So you and him have been together that whole time?" You nodded slowly "Im gonna call Lisa ok?" He watched you stand to walk away and knew this wasn't right.

--------------------

Lisa had ended up actually being at work but apparently everyone stayed at Bobby's when you landed in town? Which meant Bobby and Ellen were downstairs in their bedroom while Sam and Jess were in one room, you and Jax were in another and Dean was supposed to take the third room until Lisa could join him.

He couldn't sleep, you weren't supposed to be with Jax. You were supposed to be with him. Of course the sound of Sam and Jess having sex wasn't helping either. He eventually gave up and decided to head downstairs, he took a deep breath before walking past the room you and Jax were in.

When he heard you moan loudly it took everything he had not to break the door down and kill that son of a bitch.

"Dean!" You were on your knees in the bed shaking his arm, trying to get him to wake up. He was having a nightmare that much was clear. He'd been saying your name then his hands were balled into fists tight enough you were afraid he'd hurt himself.

When his eyes opened you ducked back to give him room to breath "Baby are you ok?" He stared at the ceiling for a second before nodding "Yeah, I'm good"

You watched him for a while before he finally sat up, leaning back against the headboard. The sheet pooled around his waist as he did so. He'd gone to bed wearing sleep pants and a tshirt which made you question why he'd been wearing a shirt when he normally didn't.

A slight smirk that was a ghost of his usual one played at his lips "Quick staring sweetheart. You know what I look like under these clothes" you felt your cheeks warm for feeling like an overly hormonal teenager. A couple days had passed since you'd been home from Texas and you were used to yours and Dean's sex life being a usual thing. It didn't bother you when you had reason but you were starting to wonder if something had happened you didn't know about.

"Excuse me for you being gorgeous there Dean" he shook his head at your words but smiled nonetheless "Come here" he held out an arm so you moved closer to him, ducking your head against his clothed chest "Are you sure you're ok?" You asked quietly "I'm ok" he replied and leaned down to press a kiss onto your lips. It was just a touch of a kiss but enough to take your breath away. God you were in love with him and seeing him like this was breaking your heart.

When you cut your eyes up at him he smiled "Let's get some sleep" you nodded and laid down against the pillows and he laid down behind you so you reached for his arm and pulled it around your waist before falling back asleep.

You woke up the next morning and felt Dean's hand had slipped under the shirt you'd worn to bed and had cupped one of your breast in his sleep. You didn't want to move in fear of waking him because this was the most intimate touch you'd had with him since before the three of you had gone to Texas.

You missed his touch. He'd been barely kissing you. You felt him stir behind you and tried to stifle a moan when you felt his erection around your ass. He rolled his hips into yours and laughed as he moved his hand to pinch at your nipple" Good morning"

---------

You were like putty in Dean's hands, always had been. As he teased at your breast you shifted back into him, rubbing back against him "Are you feeling better?" You asked and he nodded biting down gently on your pulse point. You let out a moan and felt him freeze behind you. "Dean?" You turned and he smiled "I forgot we gotta help Jody do some stuff today. Better get up now so we can start getting stuff together to hit the road"

You watched him grab clothes and adjust himself in his pants before he came over to give you a quick kiss "Be back in a few" you watched him walk out and fought the urge to cry. What had you done to make him not want you?

The sound of your moan rang through Dean's head. He should've ignored it, pushed through and give both of you the pleasure from being together you desperately needed but he could still hear you moaning Jax's name, the sounds of flesh hitting flesh and Jax praising your body.

He let the water rush over his face in the shower hoping maybe to wash it away. He didn't want to lose you because of this. He wanted to be selfish and just bury himself inside of you but the doubt remained what if you didn't love him like he loved you? He couldn't blame you, you deserved better but how the fuck was he even supposed to face that maybe you didn't want him like he wanted you?

@marimarvelfan @suckitands33 @sushiumex @janineb86 @nix-rose @ladysparkles78 @globetrotter28 @holdingontil-may @freewastelandstrawberry @jackles010378 @stillhere197 @cat-loves-music @marvelfanfn2187a113 @that1nerd-20 @foxyjwls007

[brucewaynehater101]

i've been chewing over the tcf!tim au a lot these past few days and this is what my brain came up with: 1. jack and janet aren't really present in tim's life- not out of choice, but out of necessity: see tim had been affected with a curse (similar to that on the tcf protagonist) that made it so that he would eventually lose anything precious to him

2. after they find out, jack and janet decide to physically distance themselves from him (though they can't bring themselves to do so emotionally) while at the same time going on archaelogical trips in hopes to find a way to solve the curse. this way they would hopefully live long enough for tim to be old enough to take care of himself before the curse took them away from him

3. in the meantime, they plopped him in gotham to hopefully slow down / weaken the curse (due to how cursed the city already is, it probably acts like fighting fire with fire or poison with poison, also you can't convince me that as rich as they were they wouldn't have chosen to settle down in any other city if they had other options) and hire a revolving door of nannies (the good ones tim gets attached to often experience unfortunate circumstances that made them have to leave their post, while the bad ones get found out and fired by his parents)

4. tim still gets attached to dick at the circus (and then dick's parents died, and tim lost dick's smile that he liked)

5. tim gets attached to batman and robin -> dick and bruce fight and the og dynamic duo fall apart

6. tim gets attached to jason -> jason gets murdered

7. tim pulls batman out of his spiral and ironically, bruce's prickliness delayed tim getting attached to him, which meant he got to stick around (until he got better, then he ended up being yeeted through time)

8. that whole lead-up to brucequest where he lost a whole bunch of loved ones in quick succession? yeah, the curses of gotham are struggling against his (quantity vs quality)

i just think this idea is neat. and tim's guilt would be growing out of control once he finds out about the curse (why didn't anyone else notice before? because everyone assumed gotham folks are just cursed in general)

it also means he gets a fun (angsty) new motivation to avoid his family post-regression: he doesn't know if the curse is still active and would target them, so he plays the asshole to ward them off so that nothing worse would happen

Well, fuck.

I do love the Good!Parents Jack and Janet in this. It's a bit hard to make Jack or Janet decent parents to Tim while also affording him the independency his character typically has.

The curse is a cool addition to the tcf!Tim au that adds more reason to Tim being an asshole. Him not knowing if he's cursed or not is a great angst plot point, especially because it would be very easy for him to find out. He knows countless magic people that could tell him. Constantine would do it quietly for a quick buck. If Tim continues to not know despite his ability to, that's because he simply didn't want to find out. Dealer's choice on whether that's because he was scared or he wanted an excuse to self-destruct (i.e. cut himself off from his support groups).

The real shitty part about curses that seem like bad luck (or that cause bad luck) is that you can't be sure what is the curse and what is life being shit. Tim will probably blame himself for every horrid thing that has happened to someone after he entered their life.

[autism-autobot]

Flower of a Poisonous Seed Part 12:

TW: Slight references to past trauma, depression

Part 11:

"Godsdammit, not again."

Nezha woke up with a familiar feeling in his body: fever, aches, and overall fatigue that would plague him whenever he felt like he could never feel so low again.

And on the day of Wukong's appointment too...

Wukong was sleeping soundly with his new blanket and plushie, at least. It would likely be a while before he gets up. It would give Nezha a few moments to collect himself as much as possible so he could get them through the day.

Wait...

"Shit."

SWK: Are you alright there, bud?

Nezha: I'll be fine. Just... *sighs*

SWK: Just what? You sure you're okay?

Nezha: Yes, I'm just... overheated a bit.

Nezha: Makes it hard to think...

SWK: *puts his hand against Nezha's forehead*

SWK: Woah! Geez Nezhie, I wouldn't call that a bit!

Nezha: Just... don't do anything...

SWK: I'll get you some ice packs!

SWK: *Grabs his blanket and plushie, hops in his wheelchair and leaves*

Nezha: ...rash...

Nezha felt like the whole room was slowly spinning, like some sick drug had been administered to him. Of course that wasn't the case. His vision turned into TV static after he stood up to try to go after Wukong. No go.

He laid back down in bed and tore his shirt off. Wukong wouldn't mind. He could care less about decency, living with Wukong for two months short of a year taught him that much.

Nezha grabbed a nearby remote and turned on every fan the remote could to full blast. He then turned on his favorite playlist on the TV.

And then the phone on the bedside table started ringing.

It was Li Jing.

Fuck.

~~~

Sun Wukong made it down to the refrigerator in the kitchen to collect the ice packs for Nezha. Finally, he could be the one giving help instead of receiving it.

But that didn't mean he stopped having problems of his own.

Wukong exhaled and felt a wave of depression topple over him like a weighted blanket he couldn't shake off. He tried.

"For the sake of Buddha, pull yourself together Wukong, you've been like this for too long!"

No amount of telling himself that was going to make things any easier.

Just for a moment, he breathed and laid his head back on the chair.

He picked it up again when the doorbell rang.

~~~

Wukong opened the door to see Li Jing standing on the opposite side holding groceries.

SWK: What are you doing here?

Jing: I came here to help my son.

SWK: Really?

Jing: Yes.

SWK: ...

Jing: *sighs* I'm not how I once was, if that's what you're thinking. I know about my son's condition, and since he hasn't called in sick for some time, I figured it would be soon.

Jing: Whenever he is in good health for an extended period of time, his condition tends to come back with a vengeance. By the amount of ice packs in your lap, it would seem I was correct.

SWK: Yeah, dude was burning hotter that the furnace you and the others stuck me in all those centuries ago.

Jing: You're still upset about that? It was over a thousand years ago!

SWK: You still think of me as a beast? It was over a thousand years ago! You still felt the need to "collar the beast" back there. You haven't changed your views of me, why would I change mine of you?

Jing: ...

Jing: I believe I deserved that.

SWK: Wait, really?

Jing: Yes. It is rather foolish and hypocritical of me to think you to have moved on from past events when I clearly haven't done so myself.

SWK: I... wasn't expecting that of you... of anyone, really, but especially you...

Jing: I have been working on myself since those days.

SWK: Uh... good to hear! I'm still a little shocked by it, but hopefully it's impacted you and Nezhie in a good way!

Jing: Nezhie? Does my son know you call him that?

SWK: Yeah. He hasn't ever complained, so I think he likes it. Kinda hard to be sure though.

Jing: Indeed...

Jing: Does my son speak of me at all?

SWK: Um... not really... sometimes he'll tell me about occasionally running into you at work or what you say in meetings but not much else.

Jing: I see... I may still have a ways to go before fully mending things with my son.

SWK: Hey, if what you said earlier is any consolation, I'd say you're on the right track!

Jing: You think so?

SWK: Yep! I do my best to stay positive. Kinda hard when I'm like this *pats wheelchair* but I'm trying.

Jing: It would seem you are doing good as well.

SWK: Thanks! Now let's get these ice packs up to Nezha, my legs feel like they're gonna get frostbite!

~~~

"Bittersweet Symphony" played on the TV as Nezha laid chest up awaiting Wukong's return. He had no idea what the lyrics meant as he didn't speak English, but Wukong seemed to enjoy the message, so it likely meant something good. Plus the instrumentals were really good.

As usual, Wukong made the loudest entrance possible.

SWK: *opens door slightly by hand and kicks it the rest of the way open* YEET!!!

SWK: *gently tosses the smallest ice pack to Nezha*

Nezha: *catches ice pack while barely paying attention*

Jing: I have so many questions...

Nezha: Good morning, father.

Jing: Good morning, my son.

SWK: We got you ice packs and some other stuff!

Nezha: Good morning to you too, Wu.

Sun Wukong gently positioned each ice pack on Nezha's body with Li Jing's help. Li Jing helped Nezha eat some breakfast and get some pain medication in him.

The three conversed for hours on various topics: Nezha's music taste, Wukong's fluency in multiple languages and each person's favorite snacks, as well as everyone's current health condition.

All in all, the day went much better than any of them had anticipated. Nezha was just happy that his best friend and his father somehow managed to get along with each other, though that did lead to some interesting conversations...

Li Jing: What is a... yeet?

Part 13:

[time-travel-trio]

(You hear the clacking sound of a keyboard being typed on)

Is this thing working? Oh, wait- AHA, there we go!

About time!

Took it long enough.

Yeah, really. So, let's introduce ourselves! Hello, Rotomblr- Rotumblr? How do you spell it? Girls, you know I have dyslexia-

Oh boy, we're off to a bad start.

Yeah, really.

AHEM. Moving on... I'm Dusk! I'm the one in the middle here, with the red eyes. I specialize in Ghost Types, and I'm kind of our leader? Sorta? I dunno.

I'm Dawn, on the right, with the magenta eyes. I like Poison types. They are verrrrrry fun. Dusk and I are twins, if it wasn't obvious.

I'm Twilight, the odd one out on the left, with the brown and pink hair. I use Psychic Types, and I'm their little sister. Nice to meet you all!

We decided to make a shared blog here for you all to chat with us with. You can ask us just about anything, but if we find an ask too weird, we're just gonna delete it.

Yeah, don't come over here asking REALLY weird shit. You know what we mean, you weird fucks.

Language, Dawn.

Shut up-

Girls, chill. Now, you all may notice we're using different text colors, it's just so you can tell who's talking. Wouldn't want you all getting confused. Now, with all that said, uhhh... you can start asking us stuff now, I guess.

Wow, way to be confident when ending it off.

C'mon, Dusk, you can do better then that.

Girls, don't make me get Thanatos. OH RIGHT, you can ask about our teams, too, and depending on who you ask, the Pokémon spoken about may chip in with something! Okay, now we're good.

Ask away, people!

(OOC under the cut)

I decided to make an ask blog for my three Pokémon OC's, Dusk, Dawn, and Twilight! You may have seen them appear over on other blogs, rest assured, that is me, just my alt lol.

Pelipper Mail is ON! Magic Anon is OFF!

Don't be weird with them, yall. I won't hesitate to block anyone who asks anything obviously inappropriate. None of that shit will be on my blog. This is fuckin' MINE, and it ain't gonna be a circus for your creepy desires, got it?

When I talk OOC, I'll use // as an indicator. You can ask me things as well, if you want! Just specify!

Speaking of that, specify which of them you're talking to when you send in asks, please. I'm not a mind reader. If you do that, I'm gonna end up hitting you with this:

(thanks to @the-boy-and-the-poison-puppeteer for the inspiration for this lol [sorry for the ping], go check out his blog if you didn't come here from his)

Any of them may go unavailable for any reason at any time, so I'll keep a list of who's available and who isn't.

With all that said, have fun!

Available For Asks:

Dusk

Dawn

Twilight

Kieran

Their teams, as they're revealed (Thanatos the Zoroark and Hoshino the Ogerpon so far)

Me, the Mod! (You can call me Kat if you want, she/her pronouns!)

Pokémon Revealed:

Dusk's: Thanatos (Shiny Alpha Hisuian Zoroark), Gengar, Golurk

Dawn's: Bellona (Alpha Sneasler) Pecharunt (nickname unknown)

Twilight's: Ra (Alpha Hisuian Braviary)

Shared: Hoshino (Ogerpon)

Here's reference sheets for the girls if you ever wanna draw them, btw!

[quicksilverdrabbles]

Taliesin: I must say, you've a very good nose for finding injured people, Inigo.

Inigo: Thank you. They are just up this hill.

Kaidan: Peak's Shade?

Lucien: Oh dear, I hope S'vashni hasn't killed anybody again..

Xelzaz: No, this one is still alive.

Inigo: There they are!

Gore: *sitting on the ground with his leg caught in a bear trap*

Lucien: Oh gosh. I suppose asking if you're okay wouldn't be very helpful here.

Gore: N-Not really- *sees Morana standing near the front of the group* Uh.

Morana: *sighs, shaking her head. She pulls out her notebook and begins writing in it, showing the finished phrase to Gore* Hello, my name is Morana. No I am not here to kill you or lead you to your death. *she tilts her head, considering, before turning the notebook back towards her and adding more* Or enslave you.

Gore: You- What? I mean, the killing or leading me to my death I would have believed, but where did enslavement come from?

Morana: *points at Yaksha* That one.

Yaksha: Haha. She saved me from a slaver.

Gore: That.. makes more sense. But, if you're not here to kill me, then... *he stares at the group, confused. His gaze finds Taliesin, and his expression falls into a glare* You're here to imprison me. You're with the Thalmor.

Taliesin: What.

Morana: *waving her hands frantically* No, we're not. *turns to Taliesin* I told you to stop wearing those robes!

Taliesin: Well I don't have anything else to wear!

Morana: I just bought you new Vagrant robes!

Taliesin: When???

Morana: Like a week ago! I told you about them!

Gore: What is happening.

Lucien: Ah, Morana can't speak very well, so she uses sign language. Me, Taliesin and Yaksha can understand her, and the others are learning.

Kaidan: *speaking over Taliesin's arguing* Anyways, Taliesin won't imprison you or anything. If he were still a Thalmor Justiciar he wouldn't be alive right now. I'd have made sure of it.

Inigo: Yes, do not worry.

Gore: ... Right. I suppose I'll believe it for now.. Um. *he winces* Can you guys- just get me out of this thing?

Kaidan: Oh shit I forgot about that- Yeah, we'll get you out. Yaksha!

Yaksha: Right here. Please bite down on this while we get your leg free. *hands him a leather strip*

Gore: Thanks..

Morana: *looks over at Gore's muffled yelling* Oh, you got him free.

Xelzaz: *sigh* No thanks to you!

Taliesin: Don't you look away from me, I am still talking to you!

Morana: *shakes her head*

Taliesin: Don't roll your eyes at me!

Morana: I wasn't even looking at you!

Yaksha: *checking for broken bones and applying healing salve to Gore's wound* How does that feel? Better?

Gore: Very much so. Thank you, er..

Yaksha: Yaksha. And that's Kaidan, Lucien, Inigo, Xelzaz, Taliesin, Styx, and Morana.

Gore: Quite a crowd you all have. Cute nightmare dog.

Lucien: Isn't she?

Styx: *barks*

Taliesin: *still rambling* It's not as if it is my fault the Thalmor hunt anyone suspicious! Of course people like Kaidan are going to be targeted if they stand out enough!

Morana: You're really not helping your case here.

Gore: Er, my name's Gore.

Inigo: Gore? That is quite a strange name.

Gore: It's a long story. Any chance we could talk about it back in town?

Lucien: Oh yes- Yes of course! Is he well enough to stand yet, Yaksha?

Yaksha: I am unsure. If need be, I can carry him.

Gore: I don't think that'll be necessary, big guy.

Morana: *still arguing* For claiming to know so much about fashion, you're certainly attached to those ugly robes.

Taliesin: UGLY?! Why you-!

Morana: *perks up, hearing twigs snapping at the bottom of the hill* Wait shut up.

Taliesin: You dare tell me to-?!

Morana: I said shut up!

Inigo: You heard it too?

Morana: *nods* ...

Kaidan: Yaksha, watch the lad.

Gore: Who the hell are you calling a lad-?

Thalmor Soldier: Well the mutt couldn't have gone off far! Spread out and search for him! And be careful, there are hunting traps everywhere.

Inigo: *whispers, sword drawn* We go on your signal, my friend.

Morana: *nods, drawing her dagger and dousing it in poison* Go.

~

Morana: *taps Gore's shoulder*

Gore: *sitting by the fire, leg bandaged* Hm? What is it?

Morana: *showing him her notebook* How's your leg?

Gore: Fine. Your healer works wonders.

Morana: Yeah, he's the best we could ask for.

Yaksha: *competing with Inigo to see who can fit the most honey nut treats in their mouths*

Morana: ... Assuming he doesn't choke to death himself.

Gore: Haha! I can see there's no end of excitement with these ones.

Morana: Are you sure you're okay travelling with someone who used to be a Thalmor? I'll understand if you don't want to.

Gore: Hm, well.. It'll take some getting used to. I think I'll survive, though. As long as he doesn't try anything funny.

Morana: You sound like Kaidan.

Gore: Ha!

Taliesin: *walks out of the tent wearing his new Vagrant robes* ...

Morana: Well, how are they?

Taliesin: ... They are. Acceptable. I thought most Vagrant robes had conjuration enchantments though. Are these destruction?

Morana: I enchanted them myself.

Taliesin: ... I suppose I must thank you, then.

Morana: I suppose so.

Gore: I'm really gonna have to learn your sign language so I know what you're saying without that book.

Taliesin: It seems Lucien has taken up the mantle of resident sign language teacher, if you'd like to ask him.

Gore: I'll be sure to do that.

[lavender-romancer]

Poison

Part Two Draco Malfoy x Hufflepuff Reader Cho Chang x Hufflepuff Reader (unrequited) CW: angst, drug use, blood

You and Draco had been together for around a year but as you both approached 7th year you could no longer see him the same way as before

”*°•.˜”*°•. ˜”*°•. ˜”*°••°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜

previous part

As you walked towards the seventh floor you couldn't help but let your mind wander. What was Draco hiding? It frustrated you even more that it was likely he didn't think it was wrong to hide something from you. A place to think, away from everyone was what you needed. The room had shown itself to you a number of times when you were struggling so you couldn't think of a reason it wouldn't work now- you needed this room more than ever. The deep contemplation you were experiencing about the future of your relationship was giving you a headache and you did not want it.

As you entered the room you were quiet but you could hear something, it sounded like muffled crying but you hadn't expected anyone else to be using this room. Unless… no. He couldn't be here, for Merlin's sake.

"Draco?" You called out softly and you heard the screech of chair legs on the floor and footsteps coming towards you.

"Oh, Y/n," Draco said sadly.

"You could have sounded a bit happier to see me?" You sighed and he hung his head.

"There's just a lot on my mind right now so I'm not really thinking." There was a gap between the two of you that at present, neither of you were ready to bridge.

"Why did you come here?" You asked.

"It always made me feel so safe before, when I was with you. Very peaceful," Draco lied and you nodded.

"Me too," you paused. "Well, we can still coexist quietly without ripping each other's heads off." You decided with a slight smile before walking past Draco going further into the room.

Finding a tarp covered sofa you pulled it off, coughing at the amount of dust that came off. It was comfy enough and you could sit with Draco without feeling the need to be close or at the same time far away.

"Why are you being kind to me?" Draco asked as he timidly approached you.

"Because we're both human, we deserve peace as much as each other." You took your robe off and put it over your trouser covered legs before crossing them on the sofa.

"You're such a softie," Draco teased as he sat at the other end of the sofa.

"Yeah well you're a sarcastic twat." You shot back with an arched eyebrow.

"The Hufflepuff is swearing now?" He feigned surprise and you hit his arm.

"You're acting like you didn't teach me half the swear words I know." You shot back and he smiled.

"You've got me there, can't argue with that but, it seems I did a good job." He shrugged and you shook your head with a smile.

"What's going on, Draco?" You asked after a few moments of silence.

"What do you mean?" He asked and you sighed.

"Don't worry, I don't know why I asked. It's none of my business now." You pushed your hair behind your ears

"There's things I can't tell you. Even though I want to. It would put you in a position you don't want to be in," he looked gravely seriously but you just rolled your eyes.

"For god sake Malfoy, why are you going all dark and mysterious now? After all the years of honesty you decide now is the right time?" You laughed.

"I'm serious, y/n," Draco took a hold of your hand. "I'm terrified. I can't involve you in this."

"What are you talking about? How would telling me something involve me in it? I have no intention of meddling with your precious secrets but you clearly need to tell someone." You pulled your hand away from his and leant back on the sofa.

"I know…I do. I want to tell you but you'll hate me," Draco hung his head.

"Hmm, maybe I don't want to know," you paused. "Can you show me, instead?" Draco laughed and put his head in his hands.

"Funny you should say that." He looked at you through his fingers and you raised an eyebrow before realising what he meant.

"What the fuck?" You said quietly, in genuine disbelief "You don't mean-"

"Yep, it's that bad," Draco groaned.

"What the fucking shit fuck!" You exclaimed with your eyes wide in shock.

"I became of age to be some use," he paused. "But you now see why I couldn't tell you."

"Why would you do this? I know your family are fucking psychotic but Christ, Malfoy. This is irreversible." You began biting on your fingernails.

"It's why I've been so depressed and so distant because I didn't want to involve you but it seems-"

"Don't you try and turn this into me trying to weasel it out of you! I thought it would be something normal, some stupid teenage angst. But this is just…" you trailed off and put your head in your hands "Show me."

"I don't think you want-"

"I need to see it, to know it's true." You sounded like you were begging but, when he pushed up his sleeve you wished you could cut his arm off.

"I'm not proud of it." He said quietly.

"This is so much worse than I ever could have foreseen," you took a hold of his arm and went to touch it but he stopped you.

"Don't. Please," Draco looked you in the eyes.

"Its so dark, Draco. Is he really that strong?" You asked timidly and Draco nodded. "Oh fuck me, how am I going to get you out of this one."

"Do you hate me?" He asked.

"That's a stupid question, don't put me on the spot because you're in the fucking hotseat now." You let go of his arm and stood up, pacing around, not knowing how to react.

"What do you want to know?" He asked, surprisingly calm.

"When?"

"A month before term started," he looked up at you.

"Where?"

"Borgin and Burkes in Knockturn Alley." Draco looked even more guilty.

"The antiques place!" You exclaimed "Okay, okay, with whom?"

"My mother, Greyback and…" he trailed off.

"And who?"

"Bellatrix Lestrange," he said slowly with an awkward look on his face and you just about exploded.

"You were in a room with her and just went about your business! Draco, for fuck sake I mean jesus!" You hadn't noticed Draco smiling looking at you "Is something funny about this situation?"

"Not at all, but your pacing is so cute," he smirked and you groaned.

"Bellatrix Le-fucking-strange," you said under your breath.

"I mean she is my aunt. Bit of a family reunion of sorts." He had to hold in a laugh at your furious expression.

"This is bad Draco, very very bad…what are you going to do?" You asked.

"I haven't got a choice other than to do as I'm told," he suddenly straightened up and you rolled your eyes.

"Like the dutiful Malfoy you are, I get it. This is ridiculous, they've employed someone who's basically a child. You-you aren't responsible enough to get dressed in the morning let alone this." You sat down with a huff next to him.

"It's funny really, isn't it." He said without a hint of humour, you could only link your arm in his and lean on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Draco." You whispered and he lay his head on top of yours.

You left after that, not sure what to do with the information you now had. You knew the responsible thing to do was to tell someone, anyone. But…he trusted you and that meant a lot to you as well. You couldn't help but be compassionate for the stress he was dealing with even if your relationship was on the rocks he deserved a friend.

"So what happened?" Cho asked as you smoked a joint in the astronomy tower after hours.

"We just talked for a bit, we both used to like the room to de-stress so I suppose we both felt comfortable," you closed your eyes and leant against the stone wall. "I just don't know how to deal with it all."

"You deal with it by moving on, not allowing yourself to be consumed by someone who doesn't care about you." She passed the joint over and you took a few tokes before replying.

"I know, but isn't it more healthy to allow me to understand my feelings? Not rebound or make a stupid decision." You asked.

"I'm not sure, honestly. There's a party coming up, you could see how you feel when you're there? Especially with a few drinks in your system you never know what will happen." Cho blushed but you didn't notice.

"I mean I usually get very horny after a joint so, if I smoke beforehand maybe I'll be in the mood for a rebound," you laughed and shook your head. "I don't even know who I find cute anymore. I've been so focussed on Draco I haven't thought about anyone else. I mean I used to have a thing for Granger but I'm not sure anymore."

"You think Hermione swings that way?" Cho asked with a smirk and you shook your head.

"I mean absolutely not but that doesn't mean she's not one of those straight girls who kisses women. Especially if I'm getting most of the enjoyment that might be more socially ethical." You narrowed your eyes.

"I'm sure the queer Gods will forgive you for doing what thousands of us have done before," Cho joked and you smiled.

"Well, at least I always know that having a joint and you will make me laugh." You nudged Cho's shoe with yours and she smiled. Then the two of you heard the door opening at the foot of the tower and looked at eachother with fear in your eyes.

You quickly used the aguamenti charm on yourselves to wash out your eyes and hopefully stop your pupils from being so large. Your only other option was the scourgify charm to clean anywhere the smoke would have got to get rid of the smell before apparating back to your dorms.

You laughed to yourself because it was the third time this had happened, you used evanesco on the rest of the joint and then sighed before falling back on your bed.

When you woke up you were already late, smoking always made you turn nocturnal the next day. Hurriedly you got out of bed and tripped over your own shoes, totally unaware of your own surroundings you turned onto your back and groaned. You changed into some black trousers, a gray jumper and your robes before heading down to breakfast. It was common for you to sit outside of your house for meals where it wasn't required and as you searched for Draco, your eyes landed on the Golden trio instead.

"How are you three?" You asked with a smile.

"I'd be better if we didn't have potions later, Slughorn goes on like no other," Hermione laughed and you nodded.

"I can't imagine, sometimes it makes me happy that I do herbology. At least Professor Sprout attempts humour." You looked at Harry and he could barely look your way, Hermione kicked him under the table.

"Yeah, I remember her being alright," Harry offered as a reply and you rolled your eyes.

"You're not still angry at me are you?" You asked.

"For what? I can't imagine there's anything you've done.". Harry said sarcastically as he suddenly looked up at you.

"Oh come on Harry, let it go." Ron tried to reason.

"You know what you've done and you know how I feel about it all," Harry returned and you shook your head.

"Well, apparently you'll be happy to hear that it's probably all ended now, so thank you very much." You rubbed your temples and Harry scoffed.

"At this point you deserve each other." Harry looked up and his expression changed to anger, you looked in his eyeline and it was Draco looking absolutely terrified. He caught your eyeline and seemed to be begging for you to come with him but Harry got up first.

"Harry, leave it!" You called after him as he stood up and walked after Draco "I'm sorry, I have to go." You said to Ron and Hermione before running after the two.

You could hear water running in the boys bathroom, coupled with bangs and the sounds of spells.

"Draco?" You called standing outside.

"Get out of here, Y/n!" Draco pleaded before using bombarda.

You cautiously walked into the bathroom, wand raised as what sounded like a one on one battle ensued. Walking into one of the stalls you listened for Draco's voice until it was right outside. You opened the door intending to pull him inside but you slipped and fell in front of him just as Harry unleashed a spell you had never heard before and your body suddenly felt like it was dying.

Draco could only watch in horror as the blood seeped out of your body from a spell he had never heard of.

"I never meant to-" Harry started to say.

"Oh but you meant to use it on me!" Draco yelled back "Where the fuck did you learn something like that?"

As Snape came into the room your eyes began to close and all you could see was Draco, crying and trying to shake you to stay awake.

next part

[lovebillyhargrove]

Wake me up when July is around

Chapter 15/? What doesn't kill you

***

Hawkins royalty is nowhere to be seen, and Billy wonders where he is.

Correction, he doesn't simply wonder

He suddenly needs to know

Like it's very important

Like Billy's worried, for fuck's sake.

Where is Harrington?

The loser who magically transformed into Prince fucking Charming over the winter break

And has been especially - on a whole new level - poisoning Billy's existence ever since.

The question crashes Billy's Tuesday morning when he doesn't see Harrington having an eight-twenty smoke surrounded by his usual crowd

And stays for the whole day.

The question is still rolling around in his head when Billy drops the ever-pouting obnoxious gremlin off the next morning and saunters through school hallways. King Steve doesn't grace Hawkins High with his presence on Wednesday as well.

It's the same situation on Thursday.

Billy's eyes are searching for the familiar BMW in the parking lot.

His ears are perked up to hear the sound of the recognizable laughter ringing in the lunch hall, carefree and playful.

Billy's nose, like a hound, is trying to get a whiff of Harrington's expensive perfume.

Nope. He's not here on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday.

Why, what's going on? Another vacation? Are the rumours true, did his parents transfer him to another school?

That's it ?? Two kisses, starting a want, and that's all Billy's gonna get?

It's not fair.

A couple of weeks ago Harrington came back, wrapped in wintery crispiness, so cool, so fresh, so .. new? Like the snow that falls down at night,

A pure white blanket

That's so beautiful, you take your time admiring it

Before you step on it. It's not pristine anymore, but is has your footstep on. Like you're the first one who has touched it, and that carries a meaning, between you and the snow

It's same as leaving your footsteps on the clean crunchy sand, smoothed out by the waves.

Damn, he misses the ocean.

One morning while waiting for Max, Hargrove writes on the hood of his car, covered with a thin layer of snow

B I L L Y

He then wipes it all off, otherwise Max would giggle or show her scorn in some other irritating way

But yeah

Snow is cool.

So where the fuck is Harrington?

He looked so yummy. Like a fancy intricately decorated dessert, the one that you get in a posh restaurant. The one you want to savour with your eyes. Break the chocolate crust with a spoon, feel it crack, delicately, and crumble under your fingers. Harrington smelled so good. Every day a new outfit. How big is his closet, exactly. Fucking richie rich, just swiping daddy's credit card left and right.

Is Billy jealous?

A bit. Like .. he's okay with what he has. He's very much okay, so many people have much less than him, and Billy knows how to appreciate things in life. It wouldn't hurt not having to think about the money though. It gives you that special sense of freedom, when so many things are so much easier. Of course, Billy's jealous, everyone is.

A couple of times during these last two weeks Harrington came to school wearing his letterman jacket. Number 8. Infinity. Looked too damn gorgeous in it. Made Billy think of .. of them, walking together, side by side, Hargrove 11, Harrington 8, both so spectacularly good-looking, girls' jaws be dropping

Anyways

Billy thinks, these days no matter what's on his mind

The snow, the gloss, or King Steve's jacket, all is fine

It all comes back to

Where the fuck is he, what happened?

How many times has Billy asked this question already?

It's annoying, right?

Billy annoys the hell out of his own idiotic self.

He tries asking Andy once, but all he gets is an indifferent

"Dunno, man."

He wants to fish for information from Tommy but decides against it. He always asks Hagan about Harrington, dude might get suspicious if he isn't already. And yeah, Billy doesn't give a fuck about anyone getting whatever ideas, but like .. run around showing interest in that bitch? It's pathetic, and pathetic is not what Hargrove is about

Billy is frustrated with himself. Why the fuck does he care. Why so suddenly invested in this whole Harrington thing.

It's just that maybe he is horny. Okay, he jacks off a lot, in recent days more than usual. But he kinda needs physical touch? Maybe? He broke it off with Vicky before New Year. Well, he just stopped paying attention to her. That sucks, but hey, she's a big girl, she'll be alright. In his defense, he never made any promises nor did he make anything official.

It's not about being horny. It's not like he's crawling up the walls, he's always taken care of his most urgent needs, thank his left hand. He can make it work with his right one as well, but he's left-handed, so.

Fuck, he just wants to leave this place. He's almost there, he's almost back home. It's less than six months. June or July he is fucking off and never looking back. He's got this antsy feeling like he's ready, he's fucking ready to go

He's technically not. Turning 18, finishing school, getting enough money for the way and the first months until he settles down. More or less. A job, a place to live. Or college? He's still thinking about it. March and April will tell, college-wise.

Billy's sliding into madness here, he's numb and cold, it's only school and work, and this sudden Harrington fixation is just another sign that tells him he's going nuts and he has to get the hell out of this town as soon as possible because it's killing him, and Susan's "everything should be spick and span" is killing him, and his dad's sour face is fucking not letting him live

Be patient, Billy. It'll pass.

He has no other option but to be patient, although it's getting harder

Neil has been breathing down his neck these past few days, and that's been keeping him on edge. Billy this, Billy that, in the stone-cold authoritative tone. It's not like Billy gave his dad a reason to get physical with him, he's literally been on his best behaviour, working and studying, no parties, being super punctual about driving Max around, not even raising his eyes at Neil, not once.

Billy also drove Max's friend a couple of times - that weird bunker girl he saw at the winter ball. Janet, Jane ..? They don't talk, but she looks at him strange. He even met her uncle probably - Chief of Hawkins police, no less

"Saw your blue camaro breaking the limit on my roads once or twice, kid."

"Can't be late for school, sir."

Speeding is in the past. Ice has done the impossible. Billy Hargrove almost never speeds anymore.

So yeah, Billy's behaviour is irreproachable

Dad doesn't like it when Billy's a good son.

One day Hargrove comes home after work to find all of his stuff - fucking all of it - on the floor of his room, thrown off the shelves, the desk, the bedside table and the vanity, all his clothes in one big pile on the carpet

Neil is standing in the doorway

"Yesterday I specifically asked you to clean up the mess in your room. You didn't."

"Dad! I told you I was gonna do it after work today, why would you .."

Neil isn't shouting, Billy is. His dad's voice is ice-cold and seeping with contempt

"Watch the tone, you ungrateful son of a whore!"

"She wasn't a wh .."

Slap. Sharp, expected. Humiliating. Neil always aims for the mouth

Why does he keep defending her? It only infuriates his father even more, and Billy knows it too well, but he still hasn't learnt the lesson.

"The state of your room? The ashtray? The beer cans lying around? It's worse than a pig stay!"

"I was going to clean it all up !!"

"Well, you can do it right now. Also, you're going to apologize."

Breathe, Billy, breathe. Push back the tears, it's not worth it, he'll never love you

"Of course." He's taking lungfuls of air.

"I'm sorry. Sir." Neil walks out of the room, slamming the door.

Usually his dad doesn't care much about what's going on inside Billy's room, but seldom, very seldom, he does. Neil has always had a short fuse when dealing with his son, but lately it's like he has no fuse at all.

Billy doesn't know why things between parents and kids have to be so messed up. It's like parents take revenge on their own children every fucking day. For all the time and power and lost hopes and dreams they had to abandon because they had to take care of a child? Wasn't his dad's case, no. Dad always did what he wanted to, Billy was never a priority. When Billy was still little and his mom left, Neil never took a day off sick because of his son's cold. Billy always stayed at home alone, running a fever, throwing up. Once his fever was so high, he started being delirious and hallucinated his mother sitting on his bed touching his hot forehead. Billy always handled everything on his own. Dad never considered offering him help beyond his direct parental responsibilities, never asked Billy for his opinion. Kids don't have any opinions.

Why then? For all the expectations and hopes that went wrong because the kid turned out the way parents didn't want them to?

Billy feels like his dad punishes him every day simply for being born.

Also, Neil probably understands that Billy is going to leave him soon, and wants to take it out on his son, full blast.

If dad's starting now, it's gonna be helluva half a year.

Thank god the suitcase was left untouched, with the weed and the magazines and the porn tapes. Everything else is on the floor.

Billy picks up the Panasonic boom box. Great. The cassette deck lid is broken. A couple of tapes are crashed, Neil must've stepped on them with his heavy boot.

He feels his stomach growling, he hasn't eaten anything since lunch. It's fine, he can choke down tears for late dinner.

***

One time during these three weeks Billy almost starts writing a fucking letter to Nick. No, he does start writing it, but then stops mid page, tears it up. It's stupid.

Instead, he drives to a payphone and dials his friend's number. No-one picks up, wrong time. He might try later.

Sometimes laying late at night with eyes open and brain humming, Billy considers getting up, dressing, stuffing his bag, taking all the money he has saved. Quietly opening the door, walking out of the house. Leaving. For good.

Not waiting for graduation. Not waiting for anything.

He could drive to San Diego, crash at Nick's place

But not forever. His friend's parents are way better than Neil but staying under their roof for months until he gets on his feet? Billy doesn't want charity.

Or, Billy could become homeless. Sleep in his car while trying to scrape money for a living.

He's always wanted a home though. Growing up in a loveless place, he's treasured it like crazy, because it was the only one he had.

Billy keeps getting dreams about brilliant, blinding sunshine. It just shines down on him, it's hot and he loves it. Sometimes there's also Harrington's face, mixed with the sun rays, with that dazzling smile of his, warm and beautiful.

The motherfucking asshole, meddling with the things Hargrove can't possibly control, having wriggled his way into Billy's subconscious.

Why doesn't he see Vicky's face while asleep, or .. or literally anyone else's ??

On the days when he doesn't have to deal with his dad's anger, or when Billy's not thinking too much about all this shit, Billy has sex dreams, too, some obscure and hazy, some so graphic, it makes him blush in his sleep. Sometimes he wakes up with a sticky mess in his underwear. On other occasions it takes him only a couple of strokes to make that mess. Harrington is somehow present in all scenarios. It's ridiculous.

Billy comes down from the high, and it's gray and cold. He hates it.

At times, he's got this feeling like he's full to the brim with hate, with despair. He's all torn up, and he's coming apart at the seams.

But then he knows, he's got no choice. You don't choose the parents

Parents also don't choose the kids.

The world works in fucked up ways.

It's less than six months until he's gonna get that choice, until his dad can forget that he ever had a son.

Billy just has to wait.

***

It's Thursday around 4 in the afternoon. Billy's in the garage working on a 1980 Buick regal, when he hears a car pull up. No, it's not just one car actually.

His boss Mr. Dailey went to get something from a store, so Billy wipes his hands and heads outside

He first sees Tommy's ford and then

It's like he's getting sick right this second

Billy feels hot and cold, all at the same time, his cheeks start burning, his palms turn slightly sweaty which never even happened before, the belly feels strange, knees turn wobbly and blood suddenly roars in his head

What is this fucking shit

Also he doesn't know what to do with his eyes

How long should he look at him for? For it to be normal ?

Harrington gets out of the passenger's door while Tommy and Billy exchange a handshake

He looks awful. His face is pale, almost white like the snow all around, his unstyled hair is a mess of disheveled strands, and there are dark circles under his eyes like the dude hasn't had a good night's sleep for several days.

Billy almost feels sorry for the guy.

Harrington is sighing like he's been dragged here against his will and drawls

"Hey uh .. Hargrove. I've been meaning to uhm .. change the oil for a while now."

All three of them move behind Tommy's ford and

Whoa, that's one hell of a sight.

"Looks like it's gonna need more than an oil change, man. The fuck happened?"

"A deer. I ran a deer over at night, and uh .. yeah."

Billy is circling the beamer.

"You got lucky the deer didn't get you with its hooves."

"What do you mean?"

"Depends on the angle, how you hit 'em .. Sometimes they kick the driver or the passenger with their hooves through the windshield, and then it's not only the deer that's in big trouble."

Tommy's nodding

"Yeah, lucky."

Harrington is just slouching his shoulders even more

Back to being a lovesick loser, or still in shock after the accident?

"So what do you think, man? How soon can you fix it?" Tommy's eager to know. Oh wait, that's right, unless Harrington owns one more car, Hagan's gonna be Steve's driver for the time being

"Some dents can be leveled out and repainted, you won't even tell something was wrong. The windshield must be ordered from Indianapolis. The hood though.. if you want a new one, it must be ordered as well, or we can try to work on it, too. I'll talk to the boss and give you the details at school tomorrow? He's out at the moment."

Are you coming to school ?

Yeah, okay."

"Alright and .. about the money, it's also Mr. Dailey's word."

"Of course."

Tommy takes out a pack of cigarettes and offers for everyone to partake

"Hey, man. You still got some of that weed left?"

"I might. Why?"

"Valentine's Day party, dude."

A party, fucking finally.

Billy physically makes himself not to give Harrington a meaningful glance

A party means there's a chance of being left alone in a room with you, pretty boy

And succeeds. He's still in control of something at least, thank fuck

Instead, he's looking at the smoke curls, drifting in the frosty air

"Who's hosting?"

"Andy again. Bro's super excited about his future scholarship. Everything seems to be working out with that."

"Good for him."

"You gonna come?"

"We'll see. It's like three weeks from now."

"I know. We could always uh .. team up before that." Tommy winks and Hargrove's chuckling

"Sure, why not."

Harrington isn't saying a word anymore.

When they detach the beamer from the ford and exchange a

"See you at school tomorrow, Hargrove!"

"Yep."

Steve just sulks.

"The keys, Harrington!"

"Huh?"

"The keys? To the car?"

"Oh, yes. Sorry."

Is it the accident? Only the accident, nothing else?

***

On Friday Steve has to go back to school.

He opens his eyes in the morning and looks at the ceiling. Waits for it to open up, spit out a monstrous creature

Nothing happens.

No place is safe.

Steve can't hide in his room till the end of time. He puts his feet on the carpet, gets up and shuffles to the shower.

Tommy picks him up at 8.10. He bitches about it, but Steve knows he doesn't mind.

At school he gets called to vice principal Mrs. Donovan who monitors students' attendance. Yes, he was sick for three days. Yes, his parents know about it, but they are out of town. No, the issue doesn't need to be brought to the principal's attention. Of course, he will catch up with the classes.

Hargrove comes up to him during lunch break and they decide what to do with the beamer. It'll take a week and a half, maybe two. Steve will stop next week by the repair shop to settle the money question with old Mr. Dailey.

Hargrove looks a bit strange, like he's nervous or something. Maybe it has to do with those uh .. moments they had, but Steve's not gonna think about it now. Seems like it all happened to him in another lifetime.

All in all, everything and everyone looks the same. Like there are no monsters lurking around behind walls waiting for the chance to jump out from another dimension.

When Steve catches sight of Nancy and Byers, he gives them both a nod and

Tommy and Carol exchange disbelieving glances.

They let it slide. Tommy's not gonna risk having another fight with his best friend cause of those weirdos.

Harrington's parents come back on Friday evening. Steve makes sure the door is locked after they enter the house. He tells them about the car and Mom looks worried and relieved at the same time.

"I'm so happy nothing bad happened to you and you're okay, honey."

I'm not okay, mom.

You can't talk with anyone, they said. It's a highly confidential top secret government hush-hush matter.

"Do you need help getting to school, Steven?"

"I don't think I do? Tommy will drive me."

"Ask if you need any help."

"Thanks, dad."

Steve keeps the bat under his bed. He should definitely get some kind of a weapon to put in the trunk of the beamer. When he gets the car back, that is. He could put a knife under his bed, and the bat in the trunk. Also a knife in the glove compartment. Is a knife a good weapon? He should probably try to make another bat like Jonathan's. He can't take anything like that to school with him, however, carry it around, which is a shame, really.

***

Billy thinks, is Harrington on drugs? He must be on drugs, that's the only logical explanation. When he came to the repair shop yesterday he looked like he hadn't slept for days. He comes to school on Friday looking a bit better, at least his hair looks decent, but the dark circles under his pretty eyes are still there and he seems .. twitchy. Like he's going through withdrawals. Or like he was spooked really badly, and now he's looking at things in a creepy way.

Harrington falls asleep during Literature class. The teacher doesn't notice though, so it's all good.

Is it still about the wheeler Princess? It can't be. Jesus, how much can a guy suffer from a breakup? Have some self-respect for fucks sake. Self-love. No, that's not it. Self-love was right there when Harrington came back from lake Michigan, everyone could see it. The fire was back, and Billy saw Steve being King again, like he owns the place, laughing with Tommy, flirting with girls, looking so fucking good, so confident. The attitude? Captivating. The holiday did Harrington good, but what the fuck is going on?

Something else has happened. The accident, yeah, but Billy feels it's not just that.

Another mystery. How many layers does Harrington have? What's happening in his life?

That girl wheeled him good though. Bleh. Not Billy's type.

In fact, Billy has never had a type, if he comes to think of it. He hooked up if there was a chance, a good-looking face, a need

In his pants

It's all about the chemical reaction, really

Fired up by alcohol and weed in most cases.

They've experimented twice already, Harrington and he, and as for the reaction, it was an undeniable success.

Okay, the first kiss - he doesn't remember much about it. It was followed by deep regret and genuine remorse, he does remember the moment when he realized what he had done. The no no no noooooooo one.

However, even days and weeks after, Billy's brain kept on providing him with little bits and pieces of that night

How pushy Harrington was, how insistent. Like he wouldn't take no for an answer. Holding Billy by the back of his head. Pulling him, pulling him into the deep end.

The absolute fucking sheer boldness of it.

The surprise, the startle, the jolt of shock - that's how Billy started to remember their first kiss.

And also, the drunken elation, when you feel that anything is possible, anything can happen

In that particular right now, right here moment

Until Harrington broke it off.

He started it twice, he broke it off twice.

Fucking coward.

The second one? Oh, Billy remembers it well, despite the fact that his mind was fogged up by alcohol and weed. He liked it.

The free fall.

Did he like it to the point of wanting to repeat it?

Yes.

The Valentine's Day party can't come soon enough.

***

Billy spends the whole weekend working his ass off on the beamer, and on Tuesday

After watching Harrington walk around like a spooked ghost who obviously has a heavy drug addiction, no doubt about that, he decides to reach out.

Life doesn't teach him. Nope. Never.

The last - and the only time - Hargrove tried stretching out a helping hand to King Steve, he got called a fag.

What's it gonna be this time?

After an especially irritating game when Harrington didn't know what he was doing and where he was going - are we really back at it, again, Steve? Just last week you were playing so much better

It's all in the dude's head.

Fuck it.

When Billy pushes the lame-o too hard and he goes down on the gym floor

Billy gives him a hand as if to help him get up

Harrington accepts, they are holding hands, and Hargrove feels fucking tasered

"Plant your feet, Harrington. Draw a charge."

Stop being a total pussy. Break up, accident, be a fucking warrior dammit. Shine. Because I miss it

Harrington looks up with those pools of darkness that are dragging Billy into the

Still waters that run so abysmally deep

And whispers

"You have no fucking idea what is .."

Stops in the middle of the sentence and then

There's a flare in those dusky waters

"Get your hands off of me, wiseass."

Seriously? As your Highness wishes

Billy lifts Steve up a little and then lets go of his hand, making Harrington hit the floor with his back

Wiseass is less venomous than fag

But still.

There's a little twist of a smile on Billy's lips

What a fucking asshole.

Welcome home, honey.

***

Anger is rising up and Steve wants to kick the self-entitled dickhead's ass. Like he's so smart, he's sharing the blessing of his priceless advice. Like he knows everything

When he doesn't know shit

Harrington is back on his feet, and the next opportunity he has to get into Billy's way, he sticks his foot out to purposefully trip him, and now it's Hargrove who crashes heavy onto the gym floor

Ouchie

Uh-oh, Hargrove's face turns red and he's about to go ballistic

"The fuck is your problem, you moron?"

"Hargrove! Language!" The coach is blowing the whistle but Billy is already shoving Steve in his chest with both hands

Harrington plants his feet - thanks for the advice, douchebag - pushes Billy back and then, quickly lunges at him and swings

Unprepared for such an outburst, Hargrove recoils from the punch. He's tasting metal and, wincing, touches his lip incredulously

The rest of the team players are scattered around the court in confusion

"Break it up, guys! Sweet Jesus, when are you going to knock it off with your cockfighting?" Coach Nelson is blowing the whistle but it doesn't produce any effect on either participant of the fight

Because Billy rushes at Steve and aims for the nose

Hargrove's fist is like a rock. The force of the punch sends Harrington stumbling back

A couple of blood drops from his smashed up nose fall on the floor

The coach has had enough. He gets in the middle

"Andy, Roy, Danny! Come on, boys, help me pull them apart, before they kill each other, for Christ's sake!"

Hargrove and Harrington get separated, both not stopping to glare at each other viciously

"Normally it's the matter for Principle Foster. But I'll deal with you myself. See the mess ??"

The coach is pointing at Steve's blood

"Mop the floor! The whole floor, dammit! Maybe it's gonna teach you not to start stupid fights! Class is dismissed!"

The guys go to the locker room, whispering between one another and exchanging glances. Hagan is pausing near the door

"Yo, Tommy! Gonna give me a lift later?"

Steve's wiping his bloody nose with his t-shirt

"Sure, man. When are you gonna be finished?"

"Pick me up at 4.00?"

"You got it."

***

"Okey-dokey, boys! This is your half," - coach Nelson hands a mop to Hargrove and motions to the right, showing him his field of work

"And this is yours." - motions to the left and gives another mop to Harrington. - "Get down to work, I ain't got all day!"

The two guys take a bucket of water each, and reluctantly walk in different directions of the gym. They start mopping, squeaks from their sneakers echoing in the empty hall. The coach sits down on a bench and is watching them in silence

About thirty minutes later school radio comes alive

"Mr. Nelson, please report to the principal's office. Mr. Nelson, please report to the principal's office."

The coach gets on his feet

"Hargrove! Harrington! If I come back and see you kicking each other's asses again, I swear to god!" He raises an index finger as if warning them of possible much harsher than just cleaning the floor consequences, and leaves the gym.

Billy and Steve are alone in the gym. They avoid looking at one another, diligently doing their jobs

But then Hargrove throws a glance over his shoulder

He can't let this chance slip away

Steve's slightly bent over, working hard, swinging that mop right and left. All serious. Fucking focused.

What an idiot. Clearly, he's never held a mop in his hands.

Hargrove's pulse picks up the tempo, for no obvious reason. He gets this itchy maddeningly itchy feeling at the back of his head like ..

Steve's moving his ass towards him and Billy wants to hit it with the mop handle.

He feels -

Damn it, fuck. Not this now.

his dick hardening.

"Just stay on your fucking half, shithead!" - comes out as a hiss. When Harrington gets too close, Billy gives him a light push on the shoulder

"YOU stay away, jackass!" Steve turns around too fast, ready to .. what, throw fists again?

Hargrove's dick is hard wood

"Or else?" He pushes Harrington just a bit, closer to the wall

"Or else .. pretty boy ??"

What the fuck is wrong with his voice, that's not his voice

It's fucking broken

Steve looks unafraid and .. waiting?

Billy takes handfuls of his grey t-shirt, twists it in his palms

Pins the annoying loser up the wall

Harrington keeps staring at him with his big eyes with dark circles under them

Hargrove lets out a quiet chuckle

Eyes - lips - eyes - lips

Daring him. Goading.

"Leave me alone you stupid prick." Harrington talks in hiccups

However, he is not putting up a fight

He's letting Billy do what he wants

Take control this time

So Hargrove does.

He kisses Steve's lips sharp, like bites him

Quick, rough.

Come on, pretty boy

I know you want to

It's not only the king who can be a bitch and a tease.

Harrington looks .. hurt ?? Like he needs .. needs it to be more gentle?

Billy can be gentle.

His hands are roaming all over Steve's chest and front

He pulls up Steve's t-shirt and touches the skin of his belly

Kisses the neck

The skin is so tender Hargrove wants to fucking cry

It's salty

Steve's gasping

Billy kisses his neck again, hiding his nose in that dark hair.

They grind against each other.

Grind and grind, more, please

Billy only needs a little bit more to come in his shorts right there

God, he hates the idiot with his whole wretched heart

Why does he make him so .. so fucking aroused? What's so special about him?

Nothing.

Everything.

Billy's rock hard, and he can feel Harrington's got the same situation in his shorts

It's too reckless. Someone might come in, and they won't even hear it.

Billy will definitely jerk off to this falling asleep tonight

He might not make it till tonight. Might lock himself up in the shower right after coming home. He doesn't have to go to work today, it's his day off.

This goddamn kiss - and more - is so .. dangerous. It feels too dangerous because there's no alcohol clouding their judgement, always being the perfect excuse. No, they are doing it sober.

They are so close but this time

It's Billy now who's suddenly stepping away

It's too fucking dangerous. He needs to be drunk, or high for that.

"Why the fuck .." an indistinct sigh is leaving Steve's pretty lips

How dares he .. He's just giving the taste, tickles the taste buds and then backs off

Steve is watching Hargrove with lust frenzied eyes for one more second and he'd be pulling him back into his orbit right now ..

When there's someone's, a girl's voice, a bit distant and careful

"Billy?"

The swishing sound of one of the gym doors being opened

Billy quickly takes another step backwards

Far away from Harrington.

"Billy?"

And then louder

"Where were you?? I'm freezing! In the parking lot!"

What?

Billy's still high.

Oh shit, he forgot about Max. He completely forgot about Max !!

Harrington is not good for him.

His brain stops functioning when Steve's close.

Harrington makes him brainless.

Of course! Today she doesn't have AV, he was supposed to pick her up right after his basketball practice, but he was late and didn't remember to warn her to wait for him somewhere at school. Thank fuck, she had enough sense to come look for Billy. Thank fuck she didn't walk home. Neil would flip.

Next second, the door swings again and coach Nelson walks in

"What's going on? Who's that?"

Billy's swiftly picking the mop up and getting back to business.

"My uh .. step-sister. Can she wait here till I finish? I'm supposed to drive her home after school."

Fucking hell.

"The heck were you two doing?"

"Nothing! Just mopping!"

Billy's not turning around to face Max or the coach. It must look weird.

His dick is still tenting his shorts up.

He picks up Harrington's mop as well, handing it over to him, trying to block him

Because his shorts, too, are up and flying like a proud banner

"Back to work, yeah? My working day finishes in fifteen, come on, boys!"

Steve turns his back to the coach and starts mopping as well.

"You're a fucking douche." He mumbles quietly for only the two of them to hear

Tell me something I don't know, amigo

Billy can still taste Steve's sweat on his lips.

Somehow it's not gross.

It tastes like ocean salt.

***

***

Harrington is back to school and his usual self. If Steve's absolutely honest with himself, that little episode with Hargrove kinda snapped him out of .. this monster-related thing he's been going through lately.

It's like he was underwater all that time, and Hargrove's hand reached for him and pulled him out.

Steve keeps thinking about Billy's bloody lip on his own mouth.

The fucking chest out for everyone to see, the rough stubble, the stupid mess of hair. His eyes, crazy with want. His hard cock pressed against Steve's thigh. The big wide hands on Steve's body. His scent. Harrington is reminded of that perfume again, what's it called, he always forgets to remember the name

He also thinks how different Hargrove looked at the place of his work, the day they brought the beamer in. Wearing navy blue coveralls, with oil and grease stains here and there, a couple of rips, a grey turtleneck sweater under the coveralls. A dark grey beanie. Steve's so used to seeing him in jeans hugging his ass tight, it was a bit unexpected. Like seeing a whole different person.

Steve took his time again today at the mirror, getting ready for school. He's back to looking great.

He's been waiting for another monster's visit for a week now, maybe they aren't planning any in the near future

Sitting close to Nicole during lunch break, he smiles and laughs at her joke.

Remembers that he actually wanted to take her out on a date.

Why shouldn't he?

If the world's this close to finishing, Steve shouldn't be sitting locked up in his room.

He should be living it to the fullest, right?

He can't stay scared forever.

He actually .. almost single-handedly killed a horror creature. He, Steve Harrington. Isn't that something to be kinda .. proud of? Like it's .. badass?

The world doesn't know it but, as a matter of fact, Steve Harrington is a total badass.

Steve throws his arm over Nicole's shoulder and the girl melts.

He whispers in her ear

"I've been wanting to ask you .. Why don't we go out tonight?"

His eyes fall on Hargrove who's sitting at a different table together with the guys from the team

Just for a second

Hargrove's watching

That's right, baby, eyes on me.

The same story begins to unfold.

Billy's tries not to look but Steve is aware of Hargrove's every glance

Because they burn a hole in his body, he can feel the heat from dozens of feet away.

Every damn time.

***

On Friday, the fourth day after their fight

And the kiss

While waiting for Maxine in the parking lot Billy slides his fists into the pockets of his jacket

There's something .. a piece of paper

He takes it out, and

It's a note.

There's someone's phone number, written in black ink and

Call me

There's no name.

The fuck?

It's not Vicky's number.

Billy's fingers tremble and heart crashes down from the wave ridge

Can it be .. ?

[proxylynn]

As a Christian, I feel slightly ashamed that none of my ultimate favorite characters in Hazbin Hotel are angels (I love Emily, but I love soooo many of the demon characters way more.)

I told my parents the idea of Hazbin Hotel in a nutshell--

(I wouldn't dare show them the pilot unless I actually WANTED them to kick me out of their house.)

And they, as hardcore Christians, reacted as two hardcore Christians would to hearing the idea of Hazbin Hotel.

Mom: "People would be running to be redeemed from Hell."

"I mean, yeah, but it's kinda not bibically accurate Hell."

And they were pretty damn mad the basically made Lucifer a good guy, and the angels sadistic.

I tried to explain as an Earth setting instead of Hell and Heaven:

Say, in a dystopian future, in urban cities, criminals of all kinds are growing to unexpected population. And to prevent the uprising, the government decided every year, they send dozens of cops go batshit crazy and kill as many as possible in a single day, innocent or not, not even sparing anyone, even a child. (and if a officer did, even if they were at the highest position, they'd be immediately banished.)

(The didn't get the reference, but if you know, you know.)

Eventually, the daughter of a higher up in the government was sorrowed by the slaughter of the people, and proposed instead of being slaughtered, the criminal population would be lowered by rehabilitation? Unfortunately, no one the higher ups, or even the criminals themselves believed this ridiculous idea could possibly work. They made their choices which ruined their lives, and are paying the price.

But she even got her first hotel customer, a prostitute who's addicted to the feeling of sex and drugs no matter how much in the end feels like poison (get it) But honestly, they're just there to live rent free, and still sometimes gets in trouble. But over time they begin to actually try and feels happy that actually someone doesn't treat them like a lost cause...

The daughter wanted to find at least one person to believe in her, thankfully, she had her significant other, who still was rather doubtful (just a bit more subtle about it), she tries to turn to her father, who's a big part of the government's plan of "prevention", who's got in a bit of a depressive state, but is willing to do anything to get closer to his daughter, and when she calls him out for not believing in her either, he realizes his mistakes and more than anything...she wants just wants him to support whatever she plans."

When I took the Hell, Lucifer, etc equivalent out and made it more as humans...they didn't respond to that. Not that they didn't respond negatively, they just didn't say anything.

(I didn't tell them I loved the show...They probably would've taken me to the pastor and had him pray over me with a crapton of holy oil.)

[Oh my god...Bro, bravo on trying to explain to them because I used to get flack from my religious grandma whenever I questioned things or saw things from the other perspective when it came to the bible...But why did it never hit me that Hazbin Hotel shares similar things with the Purge?!]

[the-whispers-of-death]

i would honestly want the lions and my ocs to meet. like they're this semi normal group of people (with their traumas of course) meeting this cesspool of traumatised, cannibalistic, barely human, critter infested group of barely sane people (we know who the cannibals are and the critters are Selga an Void) (neither Boss nor Romanas are answering any questions)

in particular i'd want them to meet Selga and/or Void. like in Selgas case he's this dude with constantly blood shot eyes, always trembling (he doesn't get to hold guns) and acts just barely human. like the group and the lions are working together and they have to leave Selga with the lions for one reason or another and oh boy. Selga has quite severe separation anxiety and being away from his team is not so good (if one of them satayed with him he'd be wrapped around them and hissing at anyone who tried to approach) he would find the deepest darkest crevice and hide there but he would probably be instructed to not hide from their new allies so he'd stay in the open but would be very tense and guarded. he would probably be instructed to "be nice" that means no hissing, growling or biting so he kinda.... doesn't do anything just sits there and trembles. he'd also be quite scared of the lions because they're so large and tall and as i've said multiple times before Selga, despite being decently tall and strong, is skinny and not as big as them. he was also very traumatised so seeing a bunch of big men who could do god knows what would trigger a fear response (as viscious as he is most of it comes from fear and trauma) before the group left for their whatever Romanas was litteraly on his knees in front of Kali promising him whatever favor he wants if he does him the favor of making sure Selga eats following a specific schedule (he gets fed more often than others due to being underweight)

i can see Selga slowly warming up to Sarabi first lol he can sense the kindness. Selga would be like 👁️👄👁️ at Sarabi and slowly approach him while he wasn't looking (if he looks over Selga freezes and moves again when he's not looking) Selga would make lots of those cat chirps and "ekekek's" that cats do (he's trying to "talk" to Sarabi) if they ever got close enough to touch or hug Selga would be snuggling Sarabi so close because he's always cold so being close to a big warm body would be bliss. he also does this thing where just plasters himself to someones back, not hugging or holding just resting against it. maybe he's just being silly, maybe he's guarding who knows

The Lions truly are normal people who are just traumatized. They're so normal even compared to Stone who is a recluse and is so paranoid it's not even funny. Nala is so normal that he has a wife and twin daughters, you cannot get more normal than that.

But they're all trying to be friendly to the group, especially to Selga. They let him hide, with the exception of Kali coming in every now and then to make sure Selga follows the eating schedule Romanas told him about. Romanas wouldn't even have to beg Kali to do it in exchange for a favor, as soon as Kali hears Selga has a specific eating schedule, he's like "So do I also need to take a bite of each food so he knows it's not poisoned/drugged?" (Yeah, because Kali is used to Stone's paranoia surrounding food and so he's like totally fine making sure Selga eats at the times he's supposed to.)

Sarabi is at first very confused as to why Selga is so slowly approaching him and why he stops when he notices Sarabi looking, but he just lets him do it. He tries to cat chirp back at Selga as best as he can, because Sarabi would try and communicate however Selga wants. He's surprised when Selga attaches himself to him though, because is he supposed to hold Selga to make sure he doesn't fall off his back??

Sarabi is just... confused.

[asksuccubussides]

What if you were an asexual succubus wouldn't that be fucked up or what Chapter 13

Masterpost of chapters

The first thing that stirred Remus' awake was the strong smell of tea that made his eyelids flutter half open and his mouth slide agape to mutter for Emile to go have breakfast somewhere else. Though in his tired state his words came out merely as nonsense.

"Good morning darling" He felt a warm hand touch against his cheek making him lean into the touch to which he heard the person chuckle softly.

He opened his eyes and saw Janus sitting on the bed beside him while reading a book and drinking a cup of tea. The air was flooded with a smell of eggs being cooked that gave him the urge to throw eggs at Roman.

"Are you feeling peckish for some breakfast? I've already had some. You totally don't snore like a hippo by the way" Janus snarked.

"Awwww J-Anus you made food just for lil gross meeee"

"Dear I appreciate that you still believe I can cook after the dinner we had last night but no, absolutely not, Vivsie made the breakfast"

Remus looked up to see the emo standing by the tiny kitchen area with an apron on and eyeliner from the night before smushed across his cheeks. The demon grabbed ahold of his human's pajamas to drag him closer so he could whisper "The virgin's gonna poisssssooooooooonnnnn mmmmmeeeeee"

"No, no dear. If anyone is going to poison you it would be me. Virgil would just spit in your tea"

"Yeah I'll spit in your tea motherfucker!" Virgil exclaimed.

"Jokes on you! I like spit!" Remus yelled back.

Janus closed his book and kissed his date on the cheek before getting out of bed "You two muppets can sort that out while I decide my outfit for the day. This will definitely go very quick and swiftly and I will be done before you even notice I am gone"

As the warmth from his human's body slowly disappeared Remus did grabby hands for him to come back. Instead Virgil sat down on the edge of the bed and handed him a plate of eggs and pasta left over from the day before. He didn't even get a fork.

Suddenly while eating Remus felt a smack to the back of his head "HEY!" He looked over to the emo while rubbing his head "YOU C-"

"I told you not to come here"

"Well where am I supposed to cum then!? ON THE FLOOR!?"

Virgil had a full body shiver "Don't say that shit man!"

Remus squinted at him before bonking his fist against the top of the emo's head. Virgil pulled in a handful of his messy hair making the demon nearly drop the plate on Janus' bed. Both of them stopped and put aside any food so as to not disturb their shared human\s pretty pristine sheets before going right back to wrestling.

"Alright, on a scale from beautiful to stunning, how do I look?" Janus asked as he walked back into the room.

In an instant the two men had pulled away from each other and did their best to look normal. Remus did a double thumbs up while Virgil pointed out that Janus would overheat in the sun if he wore that. Jan returned to the bathroom and the men returned to fighting each other.

"I bet you don't even know about J-Anus' super secret tattoo" Remus bullshitted just to see the reaction.

The emo's face went as red as a stop sign as he smacked the demon right on the nose. Janus came back in with a changed shirt and did a little spin to show his skirt flaring up.

"YOU GOT A TATTOO??? JANNIE! You promised if you did we would get it together!!" Virgil yelled.

Janus sent a look to Remus "Don't lie to my dear little friend. He's gullible"

The demon cackled as Janus walked up to him and ran his fingers through his poofy hair. Remus moved his arms around his human's waist and looked up at him with a bright smile. From the corner of his eye he could see Virgil literally twitch with rage.

"You look great" Remus said.

"Aw, Thank you dear"

"You're driving there right" Virgil butted in "Not taking the bus right? I mean uh I've heard parking is pretty good there"

"We are"

"And you're bringing some water too right? With being in the sun all day and you know how-"

"How bloody overpriced water is at public events" Janus finished his sentence "I know and I am bringing my fancy black wide ass hat as well"

An itch in Remus' legs was roaring for him to go. He got up from the bed and pulled his human along as Janus said goodbye to his roomate. A twinge between Virgil's eyebrows made it abundantly clear how anxious he was as he blared right at the demon.

The moment the couple left the apartment Janus let his finger move against his demon's choker "Did you sleep with that on darling?"

"Was I not supposed to?"

Janus smirked “Cheeky. Are you sure you're not underdressed?"

"I am perfectly underdressed thanks"

"No. No. I think I might have something that will truly liven it up" He said as he fished around in his bag before pulling out a matching neon green leash for his demon's choker.

"SO YOU DID BUY LEASH WITH!!" Remus lightly  dragged in one of Janus' dreads "Liar liar. Keeping secrets from me"

"I would neeever keep anything from you darling" Janus teased back as he helped attach the leash to the choker.

"Is this sex thing?"

"It doesn't have to be" Jan scratched him under the chin "You just have to be good boy"

Remus leaned into the touch "That I can do!"

--

They arrived well before any sort of parade would start because Janus had insisted on looking at the pride market in the park nearby. Remus looked for bugs between blades of grass while Janus sorted through every single book in the second hand book stand. The demon had tried to wait by him but after about 5 seconds he had gotten bored and started eating fistfulls of dirt.

Eventually Janus came dragging along an overfilled bag with books. He sat down beside his demon and looked at the caterpillar Remus had found before Jan showed him every book he'd bought.

"It was 3 for 2. A diva has to splurge every now and then don't you think" Janus handed him the bag "You're carrying this for the rest of the day by the way"

"Ah sick. One of my arms is going to turn beefy muscular!"

The sun beamed down from between the trees making tiny light streaks play against Remus' brown skin. It made his faded freckles become visible and when he was looking at a bug on the ground Janus surprised him with a kiss to the freckles on his shoulder.

There was a constant humm of noise as the crowds of people zig zagged between market stalls and picnic tables. It was the most color the demon had seen people wear in this drowsy country so far and ever so often he saw someone walk past with a similar choker or leash as him.

The park was laid in between shopping buildings and brown cobblestone houses with grey streets in between. The streets were already humming with people out and about but soon enough they would be filled to the brim.

Somewhere in the air Remus sensed the smell of an angel far away but it was quickly forgotten behind the scents of food stalls and the rubbery smell of balloons.

"How strange" There was a wrinkle between Janus' eyebrows as he checked his phone "Apparently there was a bus crash not too long ago"

The demon tried to look over his shoulder "Are there pics?"

"Rude and insensitive dear. It was good we the took the car innit"

"Just once I wanna be in traffic crash. Bucket list goal"

Janus gave him a judgy look before rolling his eyes and putting his phone away. Remus laid his head in his lap and began crushing bugs between his fingers.

He looked at his human peacefully sitting in the grass and he, unlike Janus, didn't notice any of the people casting quick glances to Janus as they passed them by. He didn't notice the kids pointing or the couple quietly whispering. He only noticed when Janus started to fix his outfit because he knew that meant he was getting ready to go.

Remus stood up and held out his hand to help his human up "Madam" He teased.

"Good boy" Jan murmured right back.

The demon didn't think of letting go of his hand. Both of them glanced down at their hands before Janus let his thumb caress up and down against Remus' skin to which Remus silently let their fingers intertwine as they started talking towards the rest of the market.

"I am not usually much for pride specific things, I prefer to show off my immense homosexuality via classic flamboyancy, but I think most of this is made by local artists which is important to support" Janus rambled to which Remus nodded along. "Do you want anything dear?"

"I am being sugar boyed now???"

"NO!....I am not rich nor am I a classy old lady...Yet. I simply have proper nice manners"

Remus squeezed his hand "Sure sure"

The demon let out a loud squeal as he suddenly pulled Janus by the hand past a line of people and up to a booth in the corner. His arm vibrated with excitement as he pointed at a series of stickers with snakes holding various pride flags. He looked to his human with a toothy grin that made Janus feel like his legs were made out of jelly.

"Snake!" He yelled, as if he had to clarify.

"Ah yes. I don't have eyes so I totally can't see that it's snakes"

Remus nodded before moving to look around the rest of the booth as if showing him the snake had been his one and only mission and now he could continue chilling while Janus chatted with the person selling. He could feel his hand being tugged around as Remus moved but he didn't mind.

Janus leant forward so the seller could hear him better "You don't happen to have any aromantic themed snake stickers?" He cast a glance to Remus "Demiromantic specifically please? Oh and a pride one"

The seller put the pins into a tiny plastic bag before handing it to Janus and he turned to his date so he could put the pins into the book bags. The demon had an unusually somber expression as he let his hand run against an asexual pride flag hanging from a nearby booth. Janus knew he could just squeeze his hand to get his attention but to be extra he tugged in the leash hanging down to the demon's hip.

At the pull Remus’ gaze flickered to meet Janus' and he straightened his back and pulled his shoulders back before shaking his head around to try and shake his thoughts away.

"Don't go and show your tallness now prettyboy" Janus joked while pulling on the leash in the same way one would pull at the rope to a clock. "What were you looking at?"

Remus noticeable thought of what to say before responding instead of simply spluttering out the first words he found "...I was just thinking of how nice humans is and their creations" He smiled so his gums showed but added in hastily "And with their blood and organs too of course. Love them organs"

"You should go to a church. You'd love the organs in there, though they might set you on fire" Jan snarked back "Oh gosh! Look! Someone's selling crocheted coasters! I need those!"

The human pulled him along through the crowd and Remus' feet tripped over themself and fumbled behind as he looked back to cast another glance at the purple flag still hanging there. He got the thought that it was mocking him.

--

"Ah yes. This was indeed as corporate as I had imagined it to be. Do you smell that? That is proper rainbow capitalism at work" Janus said as they stood by and watched the pride parade go by "And it is even whiter as well innit"

The human snickered to himself and Remus smiled at the way his nose scrunched up and the slight dimple that appeared on the unscarred side of his face.

"If everyone exploded into blood puddles it wouldn't be white anymore" Remus suggested, completely missing the point.

"Great idea darling" He checked his watch "Say, how about we go for an early dinner before exploring the nightlife? My spine is totally not beginning to spite the hell out of me for daring to move around"

Remus put on a serious expression and pointed to the nearest trash can "Dinner"

"Spoken like a man with a heart of poetry"

"Can i eat you?"

"....No...."

"Then you get choose dinner"

"Well thanks for deciding not to feast on me darling. I will take it as the deepest of compliments"

"No. No. See. The compliment is I wanna eat you!! I only wanna eat you and no one else ever.....Aside from that one guy but I only ate like his arm so it is fine- But now I only wanna eat you for forever!"

Janus squinted at him before letting up into a laugh as he decided to take it as a joke "Okay well I think we are going somewhere that doesn't serve human meat tonight"

The last parts of the parade went by as the couple walked down the street that was completely new to Remus but with the added crowd practically felt new to Janus as well. The human pointed out the different restaurants though he had to admit he hadn't actually been to many of them since Virgil got too anxious to go out to eat even if Jan always took on the burden of ordering.

Remus hadn't noticed it at first but when he looked down he saw that he and Janus were holding hands again. It felt so natural he wasn't even sure when they had started or who had reached out. He thought it was lucky that despite them being different species their hands had still been molded to so perfectly fit together.

"Which part of latin america are you from now again?" The human asked.

"Uhhhhhh" Remus could feel a single sweatdrop fall down his forehead "The south west part of the uh bottom"

"...Ah. So Chile then? Excuse me I am just Such an expert in geography"

"YeAh sure! Where all the cool hunk bulky men come from"

"Well I don't particularly know any Chilean restaurants nearby but I know some Caribbean ones, because as we all know Latin America and the Caribbean have the exact same cuisine. In some ways-"

Just as Janus had started a new train of thought the door opened to the Caribbean restaurant and the person coming out briefly held it open for the couple. It was a tiny place with the counter almost right by the entrance with the actual seating room being to the right. The menu was written up on the wall above the counter and as Janus read it he suddenly felt Remus move up to him from behind. His demon snaked his arms around his shoulders and leant his pointy chin against the top of Jan's head.

"Tell me if you need help translating anything dear"

"I will take whatever you take"

"A perfect opportunity to poison you I see. Did I not warn against that just this morning"

"Naah. You too coward and I am immune. I would just puke it out on your silly shoes"

"There is nothing silly about my shoes! Besides puking would leave you vulnerable so In that case I would simply stab you and have it done with"

The cashier had started to stare at them so Janus quickly jumped into action and ordered before finding an empty table near a corner while having to stop Remus from grabbing every salt shaker from the tables they passed. Jan took the chair closest to the wall so that he could people watch while the demon immediately started to play footsies under the table.

He moved his shoe against Jan's until it became a tug of war where they tried to move the other one's foot as far back as possible. At least Remus assumed in his mind that was the rules, until his human broke up into a chuckle.

"I used my fancy shoes dear" He laughed.

"Fancy shoes not gonna protect you from my strong hunk toes!"

Janus picked up his dining knife "Here darling I’ll show you a different game. You'll totally hate it" He motioned for Remus to lay out his hand "Palm against the table, and be still"

He whacked the knife between Remus' fingers while humming to himself. Out of the corner of his eye he could see his date bite  his lip to stop himself from happy flapping his hand around.

He finished and held the knife over to the demon "Now you try, on yourself of course. I wouldn't want my gloves to be ruined"

"You know me so well J-Anus!"

Remus immediately poked the knife right into his finger before wildly cackling at the feeling of it. He booped side to side while mimicking the knife motions Janus had done. When the waiter arrived with their food they just cast a weird look to the demon before serving.

They had both gotten a serving of jerk chicken with beans laid upon a bed of rice which the demon started to stab furiously at with his fork so that individual rice pieces stuck to the fork. He chucked them down his throat in the same way people threw popcorn into their mouth. Janus looked at him eating for a little bit before deciding to comment as he took off his gloves and laid them beside the plate.

"I am quite sure there are more efficient ways to consume that"

"Yeah but this has more fun. It's about the cHASE! The HUNT!"

"I see" Under the table Janus let his hand wander to Remus' bare knee "Aren't you just the most vicious hunter there ever was"

Remus' smile widened like jelly "I am"

Jan pinched the skin of his knee before moving his hand away to start eating but as they ate Remus kept stroking his leg against Janus' which made the human's cheeks blossom a soft pink.

"As I was saying before" Janus began with his hand covering his mouth to hide the last bits of chewing "I don’t believe I have mentioned it before but I am technically-"

His words were cut off as he burst into a cough attack just as the spiciness of the dish hit him. His face turned another few shades darker as he gulped down a glass of water and Remus fanned his napkin towards his face.

"Are ants crawling up from your stomach"

"Not helping dear" The coughing wavered out "This was genuinely delicious though" His eyes had watered a bit along with his nose running.

Remus leant forward and wiped a bit of snot away with his finger.

"If you lick your finger, my dear stupid muppet, I will throw you out of the window"

Out of pure dickery Remus jokingly stuck out his tongue towards his finger to which Janus grabbed the end of his leash from under the table and yanked it down so fast that his chin slammed into the table.

Remus cackled "That felt fun!"

"I knew you'd like it, you demented sod"

"What were you saying anyway?" The demon beat his hand against his chest "I listen, I care"

"Oh right- Yes. I am technically" He paused for a moment to think "..Third generation? Third generation Cuban immigrant, afro-caribbean obviously, but it's so totally not strange at all to know those facts about yourself while it isn't applicable in the slightest to your actual life. The majority of the workers and pseudo parental figures at the orphanage were white and therefore I am completely allianted from a culture I would have known if my parents had lived. And at the same time I am too black to ever fit into some white british culture. Fun! You're following?"

The little geography knowledge Remus had fired up as he exclaimed "We both would have been from Latin america!"

"Well I still wouldn't have been from there but I understand what you mean" He chuckled at his date's bright smile "I would love to learn Haitian Creole someday, Lots of people speak it in Cuban too. The etymology of creole languages are absolutely fascinating. They're in some ways very similar to Lingua francas but they often have existed for far longer" he let up into a dreamy sigh "Imagine the grammatical evolution"

'Rude. Daydreaming about learning other languages when you don't even know sign. C. U. N. T' Remus signed.

"I imagine that you just now signed that I am very handsome and smart for wanting to learn so many languages"

"I was actually showing how much knowledge I know of British words. Cunt!"

"You know the most important thing truly darling" Janus dabbed the napkin next to his mouth before continuing "Now that I have so eloquently and selflessly bared a tiny bit of my dark and rotted soul-"

"I not asked you to"

"-I've been meaning to ask you something"

Remus leaned back in his chair and pushed his empty plate away while letting out a puff of air "Uh huh?"

"I haven't brought it up before since I didn't want to be rude-"

"Since when you care if rude"

Janus didn't respond, only looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"What? I like that about you! Love rude! R stands for uh Rad. U stands for You! D stands for Dick and E stands for Excrement"

"Maybe you never should have learnt english" Jan teased to which Remus laughed. "But really while I looove being a rude bitch I do believe that it's best to only be rude about the things people choice about themself and can feasibly change, bitching about someone's accent or cackle does no one good after all-"

"Are you about to say my cackle bad. If so just punch me like a true bitch so we can fight!"

"No. No. I've just" Janus twirled one of his dreadlocks around his finger "I have noticed that" He rolled the hair between two of his fingers as he searched for words "Your eyes are normally just soooo not at all expressive and emotionally obvious and beautiful but both times we" He leant a little closer across the table and lowered his voice "Both times we were close to intimate your eyes seemed so....different"

Remus didn't respond, instead he leant in just as close and started to play with one of Janus' dreads "And?"

"It wasn't at aaaaall as if you looked like someone had just dropped your ice cream right in front of your eyes both time- Or not even that- You just seemed- You looked a bit uhm...Dead...And- And I am very aware that your experiences with sex far outweigh mine and that most of my impressions of sex have been through media which obviously romanticizes it so please do tell me if that is just how your eyes happen to look and it doesn't say anything about your enjoyment. And I am also aware that you've worked with it and I suppose that my eyes get a bit dead when I'm working too but I didn't think we- That you were in work mode when we. Well you understand what I mean dear"

After nearly a minute of Remus silently looking down at the table he finally asked "Why do you care?"

"Well darling it's not as if there is a very famous saying that eyes are the window to the soul and looking dead might mean you're not enjoying something"

"Why you care if I'm not enjoying?"

"Because I am capable of basic human emotions like caring about others. Oh no actually it's because I'm a deadly succubus trying to suck the lust out of you" Janus muttered back to which Remus went a bit pale. "Wait! Darling! Did you just make it sound like you don't enjoy it? You said you did before, not that I'm mad about a little lying or changing of opinion"

"I'm...." Remus sunk his head into his hands as he felt his stomach churn from hunger to the point of nausea. It was like hot flashes going up his back right to the tips of his fingers, like he could feel his heartbeat ringing in his ears, like his horns were glowing such a dark red it made him dizzy.

His horns. It had been so long since he thought of his horns, or his tail for that matter. Living among humans for so long made it so easy to forget the parts he had to hide.

He felt Janus stroke he edge of his shoe against his ankle "Y'know...." Remus took a shaky breath "I once started a collection of human teeth I found on side of roads" He forced a smile "Isn't that funny"

Janus reached out his hands across the table and laid them atop of Remus' arm "That's not what the conversation was about honey-dear, and you know it"

"I once ate a man's arm"

"You can tell me if something is wrong. For you, I will actually listen"

Remus shook his human's hands away "I've been pissed on, thrown up on, thrown up, gotten razorbladed, choked and hit and knocked out during fuck! And that's the part I enjoyed the most of fucking! I can have sex easy! There is lots wrong with me but I can have sex all fine. I've had a lot. I can keep trucking and fucking"

"I was asking if you enjoyed it"

"Can't you finish eating so can we go light dumpsters on fire or something fun like that and not talk like this right now"

Janus looked him up and down before responding softly saying "...Okay. We can talk later"

He took a bite from the food and immediately started to cough again and within an instant the tension in the air had dispersed and Remus was back to laughing as he got his human some more water.

"How did you eat this without a single sound?!"

"I have eaten lots of weird shit. Like a man's arm"

"No cannibal jokes during dinner please"

"Maybe if you eat it all at once it won't be as bad"

Janus gulped the rest of it down before instantly regretting it as his eyes watered and nose ran "Why did I listen to you!?"

"I am much wise"

"You are as wise as this is sweet. This is just the mildest, most comforting non spicy thing I have ever eaten in my long luscious life" Janus continued to string out lies as he fanned himself.

--

Afterwards the two of them went to get ice cream for dessert. Janus had thought that they could share to make it a bit romantic but upon hearing the freakish mixture of flavors his date wanted to get he decided for them to get separate ice creams.

The conversation between them flowed like water. Remus told him about a niche genre of 70's exploitation horror films he'd gotten into which in turn Janus questioned the ethics of the work environment for the actors during that time since the 70’s were known for horrendous working conditions in film which somehow ended up in them discussing found footage movies until Remus grossed Janus out with mentioning theories about whether snuff films really existed and the conversation had to ebb into an end before Jan lost his appetite.

"You ever been to a club before?" Remus asked while Janus was checking the event map on which local clubs were holding pride nights.

"Of cooourse. Every other night! You know how Virgil is! Clubbing is his life!"

"No then. Okay okay. Well it is loud and if you want to talk you should learn how to smoke very very soon cause smoke square only talkable place"

"Such wisdom"

Remus scratched at his mustache while looking smug "Hehe indeed"

The club nearby was pumping hot with how many human bodies were pressed in there. Even the line to hang up their jackets and bags was long enough Remus started to run in place to get the ants out of his legs.

There was so much motion all around him Janus' eyes got tired from darting from place to place. There were bars on either side of the club and standing tables stationed all around, most of them filled with left behind or forgotten cups of water while the dancefloor in the middle of the room was overfilled with groups of friends or partners dancing together.

And so many men. Bears, twinks, men who definitely had faceless photos on grindr, men who on a second glance he realized were butch lesbians and men who clearly just like him were here for the first time. And none of them looked like his Remus.

"Why you standing like a statue?" Remus asked as he leant his head on top of Janus' and looked down at him.

"HUH?"

Everything was also loud as hell. Right now the dj was playing a medley of Kylie Minogue's greatest hits and every gay man in that room was losing their collective mind.

'Now would be a good time to know sign' Remus signed and somehow he made his hand movements seem smug.

Despite Janus not knowing sign he could guess what he was saying and in responde he rolled his eyes. Remus smiled at him as he played with one of his human's dreadlocks between his fingers. He formed the hair into a heart shape that made Jan playfully slap him away for being too cheesy.

Remus shimmied his shoulders before motioning to drinking and looked to his human with a questioning look to which Janus locked his elbow with his and waved to the dance floor. Every single of the demon's pointy teeth showed as he grinned.

The way his human's skirt twirled as he danced was the most gorgeous non gorey thing he’d ever seen Remus thought. The songs were going by so fast he couldn't make out any of the words being sung. To him all it was was the bass pumping so hard the thumping went up into his ears and the lights shifting colors every other second.

A creeping sense of lust crawled along his back as he felt the stares of people digging into the back of his head. He supposed he had been lucky with people being too busy all day to sense his succubus presence.

Though when he turned his head to check he noticed that no one was actually looking at him but people were casting glances at Janus's facial scarring. Remus looked at his human and though his expression didn't say anything the demon still wanted to cheer him up, even if this was normal to him.

"I CALL THIS THEE GRAVEDIGGER" Remus yelled over the music before pretending to dig a hole to the rhythm of the music.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Janus laugh and it made tiny fireworks go off in every area of his body.

He started to pretend to nail things to walls while yelling "THIS IS THE ANGRY BUILDER"

--

"I adore your love for proper disinfection and cleanliness" Janus commented as he watched his date grab a cigarette stub from an ashtray and asked a stranger to light it.

"I can't get cancer so it fine"

"Oh honey, that was not the diseases I was referring to"

They were leaning against the railing in the corner of the smokebox right outside the club. Both of them were warm and sweaty from dancing which made steam rise from them up into the darkening evening air. Janus sipped on a margarita while the demon smoked.

Even though they were outside the music was still ringing in their ears and Janus could feel his eyes itch in that specific way where he knew he was tired but there was far too much adrenaline running through him to rest any time soon. 

His hand wandered to take remus but when he looked over to him he caught the demon about to eat ash right from the cigarette.

"NO!" He pulled in the leash which made Remus drop the cig as his head got pulled close to Janus' "No!"

"Just a little ash"

"No! Bad Remus!"

Remus kept full eye contact as he slipped out his tongue and slurped up the remainder of Janus' drink. "I was feeling bloody parched innit" He said in a bad British accent.

"You're bloody buzzing, that's what you are!"

"Blimey!" He slapped his hand against his forehead while putting on a fake frightened look. "Somebody better make me less of a troublemaking little sod" He teased.

"Shut up"

"UggghH J-Anus daddy"

Janus' cracked up into a slight blush while pushing his hand right into Remus' face "You are so stupid"

"You love me"

"I hate your guts"

"Imma take that as sarcasm"

"I'm parched. If you buy me another drink I might decide whether it's sarcasm or not"

--

The majority of Remus' "dancing" was just him bouncing up and down while letting his arms flail all around which Janus found quite cute in a way. The demon linked his hands together with his human's and got him to bounce along before spinning him around.

They did a bit of a two step together and Remus leant his forehead against Janus'. As the song slowed was about to move his arms around his date’s waist but the demon didn’t notice because bouncing like a goddamn trampoline got tiring real fast and he was already motioning for them to sit down for a little bit.

Janus was just about to nod when the dj switched to playing songs from Beyonce's latest album and his eyes went as wide as a cat who had just seen its favorite toy.

The demon went to a table near the wall while Janus stayed on the dance floor. He could definitely smell some other succubi in the club but no succubi with half a brain would try to seduce a human they'd seen a fellow succubi dance with.

Though he did see that Janus started to dance with another human man. He couldn't see the man completely clearly from in between the hordes of people but the man was tall and wide shouldered with beaded cornrows that shimmered in the club lights. Ugh, The beads were rainbow colored too. How fashionable and well themed.

Remus got the distinct urge to slam that man specifically with a hammer but not in the joyful way he usually thought of violence. It was a new kind of feeling that made his eyebrow twitch and his nails dig into the table wood.

Maybe he was just hungry, he thought but his appetite didn't blossom when he looked at the man, only when he looked at Janus.

He watched as Janus and the stranger kissed, and not just on the cheek like he and Janus had. His nails left claw marks on the table and his teeth churned against each other but he couldn't get himself to look away.

The room was crowded with strangers and yet when Janus' glanced over the only eyes that met his were Remus'. Their eye contact held as Janus kissed the stranger, as he had another man's tongue down his throat and his spit on his lips.

The song ended and so did the kiss. Remus saw Janus yell something over the music to the man and gave him a smile before their contact ended and the man disappeared into the swarm as if he had never been there in the first place, or maybe Remus just didn't care to pay any more attention to him.

Janus' cheeks were flushed when he finally had gotten through the crowd and gone back to stand beside Remus.

"DO YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE?" He yelled.

"SURE!"

By the time they had checked out their bag and jackets and gotten outside the sky had turned a dark blue and the air ran a pleasant chill against Remus' bare knees. There were only a few stars out but the city was still bustling with people in bars, existing and leaving and going home or staying over at friend's.

The adrenaline was still making Janus' head thump in rhythm with the bass that became further and further away as they turned off from the main street and geared towards where their car was parked. It felt like the night air was waking him up from some sort of warm blurry dream as it filled his lungs.

"Did you bloody see that?" He asked.

"You exchanging leftover food with that guy? Yeah I did"

"It happened so naturally! Is it always like that at clubs?"

Remus shrugged.

"Fascinating" janus said it in the same tone of voice the narrator of a nature documentary would. "It was fine with you was it not? It's not like we're dating innit"

"I know"

"You still seem a bit short in tone there darling"

Remus didn't give any response aside from some vague shake of his head.

Suddenly Janus stopped in his tracks and went over to a picnic table nearby to sit down on the top part of it before patting the spot next to him. By now they had gotten to a less busy part of the town where only a few drunken people were waiting for ubers or going home arm in arm. Remus sat the book bag aside and jumped up to sit cross legged next to him so close that his knee rubbed against the side of Janus' thigh.

"When I-" "Can I-" They spoke at the same time and Janus motioned for his date to go first.

"Can I say something honest?"

"No" Janus scoffed "I hope you shut up and lie for forever and ever"

"I think something's wrong with me"

Janus gasped and put his hand over his mouth "Nooo. You don't say. No way. Nothing like asking to see pictures of a bus crash to show how normal you are"

When Remus didn't joke back Janus slowly let his hand fall back down to his lap and leant a bit closer to try and meet his eyes but Remus kept his head down so his messy curls fell down in front of his eyes.

"I don't know how to say it in this language very well" Remus continued. "But when you asked about that at the restaurant.....I wish you could understand me" He said in his native language.

Janus cupped his hand against Remus' cheek and felt the warmth linger against his fingers as he waited for him to speak. He saw Remus taking a deep breath before continuing.

"I can have sex, dunno if I'm good but my dick works and ass works and everything is normal and stuff but I feel...Nothing. Sometimes it hurts a little but then just- Just like rubbing two hands together. Nothing sexy or good. Just rubbing. I often zone out up into dream land and think of gore and piss and shit and fun stuff and just come back when it's gone or like over"

He had practically blabbered it all out in one breath and as he finished his eyes darted up and down Janus' face searching for any change in his expression. His legs bounced, his feet tapped into the table and his nails moved to pick at dead skin. Anything to keep himself distracted from the possibility of Janus hating him.

"Did you zone out when we-"

"Yeah. After clothes started like coming off"

"Oh...."

Remus felt his stomach drop.

"Well before Virgil walked in all I did was uhm, excuse my french, touch you down there from the outside of your shorts. Was that okay with you?"

Janus looked at him with such genuine worry in his eyes it made Remus want to burst into tears and pull his own skin off.

"Yeah...Yeah! Completely okay! I said I can have sex! I can! No problem! I don't even know why I'm saying this!"

All at once regret washed over him because what if Janus now wouldn't want to have sex with him so he couldn't kill him so he could never return to hell and never see Remy or Emile or his brother ever again. He saw that Janus' lips were moving but no sounds reached his ears. God he wished he could kill The manager somehow.

"Can you say again?" Remus asked "I just zoned out"

Janus placed his hand on top of his "I know that we enjoy joking about it but there's genuinely nothing wrong with you darling. This just means we have to discuss things more if we ever do want to be intimate and I adore discussing shit with you. You're my lil good ol gossip-discuss-shittalk-boy"

Remus held in any urge to cry but couldn't get himself to form any sort of coherent response. At most he did some vague nod.

"Would you use the word asexual for yourself or is it more of a biological thing for you? Or some other variable thing I haven't even considered" Janus continued "If you know what asexual means-"

"OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT ASEXUAL MEANS!" Remus snapped as he felt something ugly regurgitate up his throat "I'm not That stupid! You think I've never laid with someone like that! That my brother never suggested that word!? I wish I could- I know what it is but it doesn't- I am not. I can't be"

He couldn't explain to Janus that he was a demon, a completely different species. He couldn't explain how there was no way that the human concept of asexuality could fit on him when he couldn’t even survive without feeding on lust. He had just been created wrong.

"I know you’re feeling emotional right now darling but don’t raise your voice at me like that" 

"Sorry"

"It's okay, just not again"

"I don't like being reminded of that asexual word” Just saying the word made Remus feel wrong “I don't like it- I don't like reminding myself that I can't be that. I try not to think about it"

Silently Janus assumed that Remus was meaning that his numbness to sex was because of some specific traumatic event that he didn't feel ready to talk about yet and decided to not ask about it any more. He simply held his hand a little tighter.

"Sure dear" He stroked his thumb up and down along his skin.

"You still want me?"

Janus snickered and was about to make a snarky joke but decided to be as clear as possible "Yes"

Remus smiled and knocked his shoulder against his human's "Aww. Grosssss”

“Do you feel any better now dear?”

“....Hmmmm…Yeaaash”

“Lying is obviously fantastic and I hate that telling the truth and being vulnerable’ actually bloody works sometimes. Annoying innit”

“Very innit” Remus leant in and rubbed the tip of his nose against Jan’s which made him laugh “So what did you wanna say?"

"Oh right.....Well you saw how I kissed that man?"

"It was hard to miss"

"It was my first kiss" Janus hesitated ever so slightly before continuing "And it made me realize that I wanted my first kiss to be with you"

Remus got so caught off guard he let out a weird yelpy sound and his mustache twisted upwards before he sputtered out "C-Cool"

"Cool?"

"Yeah 'cause uhhh ‘Cause- Uhm brain working- One sec- Uhmm Yeah because seeing you kiss him made me realize I don't wanna lose you and that I like wanted to be honest with you"

"Then it sounds like we are in agreement huh" Janus reached up and cupped Remus' cheek "Can I?"

The thought flashed in the demon's head that this was the first time anyone had asked for a kiss and nothing more from him.

He nodded.

Janus leant in and kissed him.

It was very adorably obvious that it was Janus second ever kiss since he kissed Remus in the unsure way someone who was trying to figure out how hard or soft he should press his lips would. His eyes were closed but his eyelids flickered still since he was too happy to fully keep them close.

The demon laid his arms around Jan's shoulders and moved his head slightly to make him more comfortable. His lips were as full and sweet as they looked and still tasted slightly like a fruit cocktail.

Actually it wasn't just a slight taste.

It felt just like feeding but...pleasant. Like how Remy and Emile had described it feeling like during sex. Like slices of oranges, dribbles of honey and lemon juice flowing into his mouth. Like he was having the first decent meal of his life.

But it didn't make sense. Remus moved back from the kiss and searched for answers in Janus' expression but all he saw was his lovely human trying to keep his smile in control but quickly giving up and grinning as wide as he could.

"Are you horny right now?" Remus asked bluntly.

Janus scoffed but it turned into a giggle "No. Should I be??"

"...No...No. This is- You're so pretty. I wish I could eat you and keep your heart in a little jar and walk around with it everywhere! Can we kiss again?"

"PLEase yes!"

They kissed again and this time Remus let his eyes close and let himself feel Janus' hands gently press against his cheeks. The feeling of feeding continued and he had no words for it anymore, just euphoria.

For the first time in his life Remus wasn't hungry.

"It's late" Janus murmured as the kiss ended, though his hand moved to rest on his demon's knee.

"Right yeah uh big moon" He was as close to speechless a Remus could come. His head kept spinning about how in the hell he could have fed from a non horny kiss.

When he barely got a response from the demon Janus continued "So are you driving me home?"

"YesS! Yeah!"

--

"I can't focus on driving" Remus suddenly said halfway on their way home.

"Why, do you want to crash into a bus perhaps"

"No- Well that too but I want to keep kissing you"

The sound of Janus bursting into giggles carried Remus the rest of the way home.

--

Janus watched as Remus took the book bag out from the backseat "Do you want to stay the night?"

"UuuuuUUuh I mean won't the sour virgin get annoyed by our sloppy tongue yodeling kissy sounds all night?"

"Darling, Never use those words in that order again please, but I suppose yes that might be a problem"

"I dunno babe"

"Babe?? Babe????" Janus dramatically fluttered his eyelashes "Now where the hell did Babe come from?"

"'Cause you're such a handsome pretty big ol ba-"

The words suddenly stopped the moment Remus turned to walk towards the apartment complex. Janus watched as his eyes grew wide and the bag slipped out of his hand and fell to the pavement.

When he turned to see what had caught him off guard all Janus saw was a stranger standing near the apartment entrance. Even in the darkness of the night the stranger's brightly white hair stood out like a lighthouse along with their nearly ghostly pale skin.

Before Janus had time to remind Remus it was rude to stare like that the demon had already taken off running towards the stranger as fast as he could. The human didn't know what to do but to pick up the forgotten bag and try to keep up.

He saw Remus collapse to his knees in front of the stranger and hug tightly around their legs. When Janus got closer he realized his shoulders were shaking as if he was sobbing but he wasn't letting out a single sound. 

[despair-to-future-arcs]

It says a lot when Teruteru’s willing to take responsibility.

Yeah exactly like are we gonna hear an apology from you?! You did drug us!

He is correct, you realize that some of us are underage and not the age of 18?! THAT'S AGAINST A MINOR!!!

Yeah Hiyoko, what you did was not okay! You drugged us and that wouldn't be a good look for us Ultimates, y'know that right?!

Exactly you fiend, my 4 dark devas of destruction were also poison as well and need to get check over, you rue the day you cross the Tanaka Empire!

...

WAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!

Everyone settle down, Hiyoko didn't mean to do it!

Wh-What...? But ma'am, she was the one that drugged us - Hatomi, Sonia, Yukio and Fuyuhiko were sober...

Exactly, Teruteru is going to apologize so if anything Hiyoko should do the same!

And while that maybe true, but Hiyoko is just a child - she wouldn't know better and if we are to blame anyone; wouldn't it be the person that brought the drugs at all? So only Teruteru should apologize.

I...I suppose I would have to, huh? Well... I am truly sorry everyone, that was unbecoming of a chef like myself - I can assure you that I would never do any of this without consent so my apologies for having all this happen.

Th-That's right, you brought those things and if I didn't see them then I wouldn't have done any of that at all!

H-HE EVEN TRY TO MOOOLESTE MEEEEEE, WAAAAAAAHAAHAHAAAAAA!!!

O-Only because you drugged me too!

Enough, Teruteru come outside as for the rest of you, your all punish as well...with the exception of Hiyoko. Given this happen because you all were trying to be friends with each other, we won't have those anymore and you all will clean up the gym after school!

Wait even me and Fuyuhiko?! But we weren't even there! In fact I was even doing the work your assigned me!

Yeah like the fuck lady?!

Well if maybe Fuyuhiko didn't ditch then maybe he could of work on his leadership skills, same with Sonia if she got her homework done sooner. Now Teruteru come with me...

Of course... *Teruteru and the teacher left the class*

... (So the one that drugged all of us is getting away with this...)

[lizajane2]

The Last of Us episode one rewatch

"Cordyceps, aspergillus, any of them could become capable of burrowing into our brains and taking control not of millions of us, but billions of us. billions of puppets with poisoned minds permanently fixed on one unifying goal to spread the infection."

The amount of fear that settled in that room... good god. Like right off the fucking bat tlou starts off really fucking intense. No one wants to hear, "the world is fucked at that point" it's a hard fucking pill to swallow.

"Get your homework done?" I love the look Sarah gives him, "you can hardly take care of yourself and you're asking me about fractions?" LOL.

The slow southern drawl in Pedro's voice is even better when I wear headphones. I'm also secretly admiring his arms... fuck me. And we only get Tommy for barely five minutes and it's so easy to love the man too. It's uncanny how Gabriel Luna sounds so similar to Jeffrey Pierce.

The entire time Sarah has her back turned to the old woman; I'm internally screaming at her to get the fuck outta that house.

"Stay indoors," then Sarah goes outside. Girl, I know like 8 of the Halloween movies have come out, and you dare to venture outside? Then into the Adler's house knowing damn well that Mercy refused to step inside.

"Help me." No, bitch. Run!

Fuck those things coming out of that woman's mouth just get nastier and nastier every time I see it.

You see one of the many things I love about Joel Miller, is that his instinct to survive doesn't gradually happen over time it's an immediate switch. He no longer sees people anymore or has the compassion to even think about helping others. It's all about keeping his family safe. Keeping Sarah safe. He apologized to Sarah for scaring her and didn't even take a second to even feel remorse for killing that Runner, to Sarah it was still a person.

Until Sarah mentioned terrorists, I had forgotten that the series is set two years after 9/11.

Protective Joel pre-outbreak and post-outbreak is just... ugh, it's a sight to see on my screen again.

The first time I watched the runner getting closer to Sarah and Joel, I was too occupied with the stress and knowing that my heart was going to be ripped from my chest to see Sarah die. I can't help but laugh now at the number of times that runner was bumping and tipping over itself. I'm sorry, it's the desperation.

If you think "the government wouldn't ever do that" just know they absolutely fucking would kill anyone they thought might be infected. Even if you weren't.

Literally trying not to cry in a coffee shop right now... the acting from Pedro alone as he pleads for Sarah to stay with him, damn it all to hell. So fucking heartbreaking.

I have a weakness for the salt-and-pepper look on a man, it's fucking sexy. Especially on men like Pedro Pascal and Oscar Isaac.

"Yeah, but what about your guy." That tells you all you need to know about Joel. Man is fucking scary.

"Seven, eight, fuck... you." Ellie my girl, I just love you. Bella is perfect and no one can change my mind about it.

"We are in a war against FEDRA to restore democracy and freedom." I'd believe it if it wasn't for the amount of bullshit spewing from Marlene's mouth. Maybe she believes that... but I sure as fuck don't. I mean it's like she said it's been twenty years, and none of that shit exists anymore. She's trying to rebuild a past that would come at such a high cost. Building that type of society again wouldn't be worth it.

"Kim, you don't have a fuckin' ear on your fuckin' head." LMFAO!!

"What are they capable of?" A lot of terrible shit. Joel also has no problem committing mass murder. I love him and I'm scared of him in equal measure.

The way Pedro sits on the couch with his legs spread like that is seared into my brain. I think about it. A LOT. I'm just:

You can see the exact moment Joel, no longer sees Ellie and is instantly replaced with the memory of Sarah. My man hasn't even gone through the five stages of grief yet and almost ended up in the same situation, in the same episode, with two different children.

[kanansdume]

@gildatheplant via this post

I wanted to make this a whole new post rather than clog up the OP's notes on something that's not totally related, but I LOVED these tags!

I'm a huge personal believer in the idea that Anakin's master likely wouldn't have mattered much. He and Obi-Wan do clearly get along quite well, but he doesn't love Obi-Wan at all when Obi-Wan becomes his master. He barely knows Obi-Wan at all. So you could make the argument that he might have ended up equally as attached to whoever became his master, whether it was Obi-Wan, or Yoda, or Mace, or Luminara, or Shaak Ti, or Kit Fisto, or Plo Koon, or Quinlan Vos*. It wouldn't really matter.

Because yeah, Palpatine is the major cause of what Anakin becomes. Anakin's got issues, but they're issues the Jedi could probably help Anakin overcome if given the time and space to do so. It's Palpatine poisoning Anakin against their teachings that keeps him from being able to actually follow the teachings he preaches.

Note that I do NOT think Anakin would've ever made a good Jedi. But I think with proper training, Anakin would've been able to embody Jedi TEACHINGS: mindfulness, acceptance, compassion, etc.

And a LARGE part of that is removing him from Palpatine's presence.

Which wouldn't happen with any of the usual suspects when you see people wondering about alternative masters for Anakin. A lot of them are Council members which, prior to the war, meant that a lot of them probably spent a good amount of time on Coruscant. Which is where Palpatine spends his time, too.

Which means that, ironically, had Yoda and the Council just stuck to their guns about not letting Anakin into the Order and Obi-Wan left the Order to train Anakin the way he threatens to, Anakin might've been better off. Obi-Wan and Anakin either go back to Tatooine to deal with that situation and then go off traveling/training again, or they do their wanders early without immediately running back to Tatooine, or WHATEVER. But they probably don't stay on Coruscant that much if at all. Which takes him pretty far out of Palpatine's ability to manipulate Anakin.

There are also other Jedi that exist in Legends I think that tend to spend VERY little time on Coruscant.

Nico Diath, who apparently spends most of his time out in the Outer Rim FREEING SLAVES and who takes his own nephew as his Padawan.

Jon Antilles who ends up on so many undercover missions that he apparently just gets declared dead over and over again and no one ever really knows where he is until he pops up again. This seems like it would REALLY fuck with Palpatine's plans in the funniest possible way.

Anyway, I love that there's a component to Anakin's fall that shows that it's really NOT the master he gets that matters here. Because what happens to Anakin isn't ABOUT the Jedi. It's a combination of Anakin's own failures and Palpatine's manipulations. The Jedi do as much as they are capable of doing with the information and resources they have, and it's not enough. That's not on them. Nothing they did, nothing any alternative master did, would have made a difference. Anakin wouldn't have necessarily fallen faster OR slower, he wouldn't have been saved by any one particular master.

The only thing that would save him is just getting him out of Palpatine's vicinity. Which only happens through pure accident rather than any sort-of knowing choice made on the part of the Jedi.

As Jean-Luc Picard and Beyonce have told us, you can do everything right, work really hard and give everything you have, and still lose. It's not weakness, it's not failure. That's how life works.

*I am only excluding Qui-Gon here because Anakin DOES have a previous relationship with Qui-Gon that he could pull on. This would change their dynamic in a way that doesn't exist for anyone else, including Obi-Wan. This is not a commentary on whether Qui-Gon would've been a good or bad master for Anakin in general, just an acknowledgment that Anakin might've been MORE attached to Qui-Gon due to their more recent history together, and so he does not fit into this pattern or this argument.

[casualghostfan]

Poison, chapter 2

Chapter 1

A/N: Reyna, half ghoul and half human, has always stuck out like a sore thumb. But not to cardinal Terzo. But what changes when the cardinal is to become Papa? (Largely inspired by Poison by Alice Cooper)

Warnings: friends to enemies to lovers, fuff, angst, not beta-read (this is my first fic so feel free to suggest other warnings)

___________________________________________

“What do you mean you're not going again?”

Reyna sighed. She refused to attend Black Mass when it was led by him. Of course that was not the official reason. She always made something up. Gardening duties, sudden headache or simply being tired. But this was the third in a row she would not attend and her friend Nebula was getting suspicious, although she did not know about the history Reyna and the current Papa shared. It's been almost three years since that fateful day that shifted Reyna’s whole world. And since that day, she did not attend a single Black Mass of his. What could she say? She knew how to hold a grudge.

Reyna scratched her horns protruding a little bit from her scarlett hair. Since embracing her ghoul side, they have grown a significant amount. Her hair colour also changed. In the past, it could be described as simply ginger, but now they glowed deep red like flames. It made her yellow eyes look that more unnatural. Good. She didn't want to even resemble a human being.

“Nebula, you know I have to finish my library duties. I still have a lot to do.”

“I could help you, I'm all finished with my tasks in the garden.”

“You're very kind, but you know I like working alone. I have my own system,” Reyna smiled at her friend, hoping she wouldn't suspect anything. But Nebula wasn't stupid.

“You never go when it's Papa who's leading them,” she mumbled, her voice sounding a little accusatory.

“I just don't enjoy them. In my opinion, he can't lead them very well. It's pretty boring for me to be honest,” Reyna offered an explanation, but her friend just scoffed.

“Boring? You clearly haven't been to one.”

“I have been to a few before your summoning,” Reyna lied. “And I don't plan on going ever again.”

Nebula pouted. “Fine. You enjoy that dusty library by yourself. I'm going to find the best seat closest to Papa.”

“Yeah, you do that,” Reyna smiled again and embraced her.

The trip to the library wasn't a long one. On her way, Reyna met a few siblings of sin making their way to the abbey to gather for the Mass. Not a single one met her gaze as they hurried past her, uneased by her presence. Over the last few years, the half-ghoul has earned quite the reputation. Nobody wanted to see what could happen if they crossed paths. Reyna couldn't help but grin as a group of siblings scurried past her with their heads down. The smile showed her teeth, longer than they have ever been. She couldn't hide them anymore, not that she wanted to.

The door to the library was rather large and carved with various ornaments. Sometimes Reyna wondered how anyone could be so patient to create such a beautiful thing from a simple piece of wood. She pushed it open and stepped into the dimly lit room smelling the familiar scent of old books. Usually, the light there was bright enough to provide a good reading environment, but the lamps have not been lit in a while. Everyone was gathering for the Mass.

Well, not everyone. Reyna could hear faint rustling of habits the siblings used to wear mixed with the sound one made when pleasured. The moans were certainly not silent, though the large door provided an excellent sound barrier. She rolled her eyes. Some stupid people probably wanted to take advantage of the shelter the empty library provided and decided to hide here. The moans were getting louder. It sounded like someone was approaching their climax. Reyna smirked. Time to ruin it for them.

She stomped very loudly and angrily as she approached the sounds. But as she turned the corner and readied herself to scold the pair, she was momentarily stunned. But that feeling was replaced by hate very quickly.

Reyna watched as the woman scrambled to put her habit down, cheeks red as a lobster. But the man didn't share the hurry. He languidly pulled his luxurious pants back on and then began to button his shirt not even looking at Reyna’s direction like she wasn't worth the attention. He straightened his robes and with his golden-tipped gloved fingers straightened his mitre. 

“Emeritus,” Reyna gritted through her teeth, her voice dripping with venom.

“Ghoul.”

“Still fucking everything that has a hole?”

“Asking for someone or are you just jealous?”

She hissed at him, revealing her dangerously pointy canines. If looks could kill, Papa would be torn apart by now. The sister of sin excused herself and tried to make her swift exit, but Terzo stopped her.

“We’ll finish this later. I'll send a ghoul for you,” he whispered lasciviously. The woman nodded and then yelped as he slapped her butt, sending her on her way. Reyna tasted bile on her tongue as she watched the sister slip from the room. The door slammed behind her.

“You're so disgusting. I fear I might catch some STD just standing in the same room as you,” Reyna snarled. Terzo laughed, clearly unfazed with the hateful words spilling from her mouth.

“You might want to ask the siblings, Reyna. They would tell you the STDs are absolutely worth it.” He began walking past her. “Now, if you excuse me, I have a lot of damned souls to tend to. Wouldn't want to keep them waiting.” He turned his back to her.

“Yeah, wouldn't want to hurt them or disappoint them. Your precious humans.” 

Reynas' voice had a sting of betrayal to it. It seemed like Terzo picked up on it as he stopped and turned a little. He inhaled and it seemed like he wanted to say something. But the inhale turned into a deep sigh as he turned back to the door and quietly left the room, leaving Reyna fuming with anger.

His steps filled the quiet hallway. He was late to the Black Mass, but that wouldn't be a surprise to anyone. He always liked to be fashionably late. And being late also provided him with plenty of time to put his thoughts in order.

Underneath his facade of black and white paint there was a storm of emotions. He could almost convince himself he hated her. Her stupid pointy teeth and her ridiculous horns. Yes, his mind was almost convinced.

But his heart knew better.