#i mean. to b fair i got accepted to all the schools i applied to for my masters and i didnt kno shit back then

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

Can you talk a little bit about how you became a paleontologist? (like school and stuff).

I went to college wanting to major in paleontology and everybody told me I could major in geology but that being a paleontologist just really wasn't possible.

I did major in geology/archaeology combo major (offered at my college, it's actually a BA, not a BS, which was disappointing), but it's not paleontology and i've been out of school for a awhile and i'm just really discouraged.

ugh welcome to my life. the reason my story is complicated is because of crap like that.

so, I'm going to get very, very, very real here. that means I'm going to reveal some personal details about myself. I'm okay with it. I want to share this. Content Warnings for Parental Abuse, Mental Illness, Physical Disability, and Trauma. Phew. Here we go.

first thing we have to acknowledge: I grew up poor. my mom was a stay at home mom because of mental illness (majorly agoraphobic and huge social anxiety, plus largely untreated OCD). my dad rarely held on a job for very long because of severe untreated ADHD. my parents' primary concern, at all times, was that their six kids (my mom loves kids) would have gainful, steady employment. they are communists, and it was always about how we can't help others effectively if we're not secure in the rest of our lives.

I wanted to be a paleontologist from the moment I could have such a want. But my parents never, never, thought that was a good idea. They wanted me to be a scientist, because they could see my potential, but they didn't think being a paleontologist was a safe career. And, to be fair, they had a point. But I didn't want to be anything else. In fact, the very idea would make me start sobbing. So while I was little, they didn't really do anything about it. Occasionally they planted seeds of "you might not be a paleontologist", but it never went well.

fast forward to me going to college. now they were serious. we were constantly fighting over whether I should be a paleontologist or a medical researcher (MDPhD. you know, the insane degree that insane people get.) (I'm insane, but not that way). because they were paying for, well, some of it (I got a lot of scholarships, b''h), and I was in general dependant on them like most college students are, they picked my classes. I was forced to major in biology (though I probably would have picked that anyway), and I never took any geology classes (well, I took half of one, but had to drop it because of my stupid premed classes).

I got to do paleontology research, but it was kind of in secret - I technically had two different research jobs, one in evolutionary biology, one in paleontology. I took tons of medical related classes, and was forced to take the MCAT twice. I wasn't good at it. Memorizing things isn't my forte, I'm much better at problem solving and finding/evaluating information. I also just wasn't interested in it - I can remember countless dinosaur genera, but ask me to remember really specific medical details and my mind draws a blank.

I did not do well on the MCAT, but I was still forced to apply to MDPhD programs. I also applied to evolutionary biology and paleontology PhD programs on my own. But paleontology is extremely competitive, and I didn't hear back from any of those. I also didn't get anywhere with any of those medical programs. In fact, I ended up getting accepted to a grad program for evolutionary developmental biology, because that was the only thing that had an opening. Rather than go home and be forced to apply to medical school again, I took the out.

I was miserable. But I tried to convince myself it was better this way. That I would have gainful employment, and be able to do science. Meanwhile, I was running this blog, building a community, and constantly thinking about paleontology instead of my actual thesis. Even though paleontology doesn't require field work, I'd convinced myself I could never do it because field work is inaccessible to me - I have had chronically dislocated knees since I was 16, and a few different physical conditions that make me exceptionally heat sensitive. I couldn't do field work, so I couldn't be a paleontologist. I also am fat, because of those disabilities, and there just aren't a lot of fat AFAB paleontologists, so I thought I wouldn't be able to get far for that reason.

But I couldn't finish that PhD. I didn't care enough about it, and I was constantly hitting roadblocks. I wanted the focus to be more evolution based, my advisor told me no. I wanted to pursue a specific question, my advisor advised against it. My wasps kept dying, and I didn't know why. I couldn't get my assays to work. My advisor was always focused on his other students and never me. It was a nightmare. All the while, my blog was exploding in popularity, and I was even going to paleontology conferences on my own dollar and networking there, presenting research about using the internet as an educational tool. And I felt at home. I was with *my people*.

Then the pandemic happened. I was already estranged from my parents for other reasons, that I'd rather not get into (no, it's not cause I'm queer). Everyone was frustrated with my lack of progress at my first program. My spouse, the infinite well of support that he is (url @plokool), gave me the push I needed to drop out with a master's degree (which I had earned at that point). I then was seriously considering becoming a rabbi, because I didn't think I could hack being a scientist at all after that experience.

But, everything felt wrong when I wasn't engaged with paleo. ADAD had gone on hiatus because my artists were persuing other opportunities (and I'm so proud of them!). I just felt empty and lost without paleontology in my life. So I went to the virtual SVP that was being held in 2020, since it was cheaper than usual and online.

And I met my current advisor. We clicked *right* away. We had the same questions about bird evolution and talked for hours. He encouraged me to apply, so I did - just for paleontology programs. I knew if I didn't do paleo, there wasn't a point. Nothing else would hold my interest enough for me to get a doctoral degree. I also talked to the wonderful friends I had made here on Palaeoblr, ones who were also actually pursuing paleo, and they promised me I could do it - that they believed in me. The one thing no one but my spouse had ever really indicated to me. It gave me the push I needed, and when I was accepted to this program, I took it. It also helped that I finally had working ADHD medication, for the first time in my life.

Even though it meant moving from Chicago - nice, at least sometimes chilly Chicago, my home for my whole life - to fucking southern new mexico. I am so hot. All the time now. My feet never return to their proper color. But it was worth the risk.

But I'm not doing field work! I've had to take a lot of remedial geology classes, but all my work has been computer and lab based. And I've done so much already! I've published a new bird, I've done excellent in my classes and teaching, and I'm currently compiling my own database of Paleogene bird fossils. Last year was a little rough because of trauma things, and the gd-damned adderall shortage, but I'm moving forward. I am hoping to go into museum work, because I love museums, and I believe in them and their ability to educate people (I also want to help the museum field decolonize itself, but that's a different discussion.) I've even made a design for an evolution of dinosaurs exhibit that my professor wants me to make into a real thing someday.

So... yeah. I became a paleontologist by being the world's most stubborn mother fucker alive. I decided I wanted to be as a kid, and I never could let it go, even when it would have been better for me to. But I'm glad I didn't, because now I'm here, and I'm doing well. When i can focus, at any rate. Because I'm only at peace when I'm around dinosaurs.

(P.S. I've even repaired my relationship with my parents, and they support me as a paleontologist now! just took 30 years for them to realize they couldn't fight me on this, I guess... or they're old and tired of fighting. one of the two.)

[inkofamethyst]

February 27, 2023

IT’S OFFICIAL AHHHHHH THE GRADUATE SCHOOL APPROVED MY ADMISSION IM OFFICIALLY INTO MY CHOICE EEEEEE!!!!!  My potential advisor called me right after class to share the news and and the department chair sent me a cute email and oh boy I just really wish they were bringing me up sooner because I promised myself I wouldn’t make a decision until after I visited and now I can’t do so for a whole ‘nother month (luckily the dates don’t mess with anything else (exams, performances, rehearsals, etc)).  It doesn’t feel fair to my Choice F to string them along like this but I’m going to stick to my guns on this one.  Visiting is a really important component of my decision-making process.  If the vibes are off (and I suspect they won’t be, but I’ve been surprised before), then I ain’t goin.

Also!  The girl I met during my Choice B interview (and who also applied to and interviewed with my Choice C (arguably the best bioanth program in the country, but also I’m very biased), and in both cases we applied to work with the same person) ended up getting into the Choice C (but not my Choice B) program that we applied to which, without going into specific details, means I am likely waitlisted for the program (waitlisted at least.. it’s possible that my acceptance to Choice B precludes me from the Choice C program altogether).  Which means I’m six-for-seven, sort of.  Not a bad record.  Not bad at all.

I started my Star Trek book on a whim just because I wanted to and oh my god Jean-Luc is such a lady’s man.  Women are falling over this balding French dude.  And, you know, maybe I get it.  He’s got this amazing and slightly mysterious past as a renowned captain in starfleet, so he’s disciplined and commanding and good with words and he cares a lot even if he pretends not to.  It’s just so funny to me idk.

Speaking of old/middle-aged men, I’m starting to think that the Pedro Pascal thing is a marketing ploy.  I’m beginning to think that dvcree is an industry plant.  I try very hard to distance myself from marketing, but this feels a little too ridiculous to not be a ploy that’s gotten out of hand.  Is he cute?  ...ya maybe, sure.  That said, I started watching The Last of Us this past weekend while doing my hair, and oh my god????  I don’t really watch zombie stuff and I definitely haven’t played the game, but this show is literally so good.  I also tend not to watch TV-MA stuff from HBO because I’m what I like to call soft-hearted and can’t really handle excessive violence or gore, but this show presents enough action and violence to be exciting without being overzealous with the blood n guts n stuff.  I love Ellie, Joel is fantastic, every single episode rips my heart out, and I can’t get enough.  Episode 5 came out last night but I’ve got two exams tomorrow and a busy day today, so...

To switch gears, just a bit of a hair rant.  Wanted to do 18″ senegalese twists for the next three weeks which I’ve never done before, and they’re not coming out the way I’d hoped.  My feed-in technique is great, but my own hair blown-out is ~18″ in most places, so the ends don’t seal well at all, meaning the twists are coming undone or are generally a lot looser than I’d wanted.  I think passion twists or marley twists would’ve been more forgiving considering their textures, but they’re uh.. they’re a little more uh.. ethnic.. than I was going for, considering that I have a few uni trips coming up.  The only redeeming feature is that these senegalese twists are quick.  Much quicker than knotless braids.  Maybe I should’ve done 24″ to guarantee that seal, but I really like how conservative the 18″ length looks.  While it’s kind of annoying in this particular situation, I honestly like how long my own hair seems to be getting, and my haircare is regularly improving in efficiency (...though one of these days I’m going to have to suck it up and deep condition which I haven’t done in years, opting for just a regular leave-in... so while efficiency is improving, the techniques could still use work).  And I say “long” fully recognizing that shrinkage will make my hair look like it’s a half to a third of its actual length :/  One of these days I’m going to go for a straightening, my first one in... six years, just to see the full length on display.  Maybe for the first days of grad school...

Today I’m thankful for the formal my photo-friend and I went to last night.  They’d run out of real food by the time we arrived, so we gorged ourselves on strawberry shortcake.  We took some photos and I felt thoroughly attractive, even if my hair was less than optimal (my parts are clean and it hangs down so it looks good from afar which is what matters tbh).  

Today I’m also (obvi) thankful for the admit!!  Like,,,,, this kind of thing is something I’ve been reaching for my entire life.  And while I feel partly as though I’ve lucked into it, I’m also so happy that all the work I’ve put into this whole thing is paying off.  I’ll let the imposter syndrome come later.  Right now, I just wanna bask (for a little bit, at least, as I’ve got rehearsals and exams and meetings galore this week).

Well, if I’m honest, I’m looking forward to not writing/ranting about grad apps every entry.  I can feel it, that day is close.

man im so tired.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: May 15th Part 2

And here’s the next part of the long answer set of the day!

When will OL: N&F take place? Beginnings and Always took place during summer breaks, will now and forever take place during a fall break or will the characters be going to school at the time of the events we play through? 

It takes place over all of the fall season, so school will be happening in OL2. Some events do take place in school, though many times events only start after school is already out for the day, haha.

Hey!! I have kind of a weird question?? I’m sorry if it’s been answered before and I just haven’t seen it but is OL 2 taking place during the same years as OL 1? I’m just curious, thank you for such amazing games!!!�� 

It’s a similar time frame, but not 100% exactly same.

Do you have any idea when the demo for now and forever will be available? 

Hopefully this fall! But that’s not a guarantee.

Okay the crime show in Step 2: Growing up. Long blonde hair, police station, crime series? Was it The Closer? Because I’m the same age as MC and Cove and my mom was constantly watching that when I was 13. 😂 

Haha, yeah! The Closer and, to a lesser degree, Medium were the kind of shows I was referencing there. My mom also used to watch those back in the day.

Hey um this might be an odd question but if the setting of OL: N&F is  fall/autumn, what country or city will it take because my mind tells me it is either Poland or Canada. Also I can't wait for the game I am hyped 

It’s set in the USA again. We’d like to be able to have cameos and that’s easiest to do if the OL games take place in the same country.

Is it possible for the PC of OL to have non-seriously dated other people in the in between years even if they’ve had a consistent crush on Cove? 

You can causally date Baxter in Step 3 if you get his DLC and then ultimately choose Cove in Step 4. If you mean off-screen people, it doesn’t really come up, but you can certainly headcanon that. The game never says Cove is the only partner you’ve ever had.

Is there going to be a Kickstarter for Now and Forever as well? For like voiced names and stuff again? Didn’t find B&A until after it was released and I’d really love the opportunity to hear my name in the game 🥺 

Yeah, we are gonna have a Kickstarter with getting a voiced name as a reward! Though, it will be more expensive than it was for OL1. I feel bad to raise the price but we realized too late the first time around that it was being super undersold for the amount of work it took, aha.

Do you know how much the remaining DLC for OL will cost? (Step 4, Derek, Baxter) 

Step 4: Free

Wedding DLC: $2.99USD

Derek DLC: $4.99USD

 Baxter DLC: $4.99USD

Has an artist for the new position been picked yet?! I'm super excited for the new game! 

We did fill that spot. Thank you so much for taking the time to apply!

hmmm what would it take to get each of the XOXO jerk squad to feel the need to hug you? 

They’d have to first like you a fair amount, otherwise the most you’d get is maybe a pat on the shoulder. If they were attached, they might hug you if you broke down crying or if you gave them super good news.

Unless it’s Shiloh, of course. If you want a hug you only have to ask!

May i ask how the Derek DLC will work? I believe that there aren’t any memories in step 4 and doesnt derek’s dlc take place during that step? So will the dlc add memories? Thank you! 

Derek’s DLC will add five Moments to Step 2 (a new page will appear on that screen if you get the DLC). Then in Step 4 you’ll have to choose between playing the default epilogue or going through the Derek romance story.

Is the pc version on itch,io different from the steam version? Like an offline one or something? 

Steam has achievements, but that’s about it. Both can be played offline, if you prefer.

I've been wondering this for awhile, what determines if cove winds up with a ponytail in step 3? I've done multiple runs with different MCs with varying hairstyles. Or does it have to do with a particular moment in step 2? 

I’m afraid I can’t say exact choices that determine things. But generally it’s preference based options in the Step before that decide those things.

Any Floret Bond updates? 

No, the artist had to leave the project and it’s been on-hold. I’m not sure if I want to try working just with what we have or replacing it all entirely. The design is a bit too specific for us to easily find someone who could mimic it. Hopefully we’ll work things out later, though.

In step 3 is Cove's plan always to stay in sunset bird? 

Yeah. He is never ready at 18-years-old to make a big life change.

I love your content! If it's alright to ask, you answered in a previous ask about how Jeremy was too particular with what he likes his types to be romanceable with just any MC and it's sort of got me wondering.. What /are/ his types and/or preferences and such? Sorry if it's a lot! 

Jeremy likes stubborn jerks and will not date someone who’s sweet or even generally a decent person, haha.

uh, excuse me if you said this somewhere before, but how will step 4 be actually? Will it he like an actual step and have moments and dlc and all? Or will it be more like a long epilogue of some sort?

Will the step 4, the wedding and extra routes dlcs be paid too? Im just confused, sorry if im asking too much

Step 4 is only an epilogue, so it’s just a long series of scenes one after the other rather than a collection of Moments you can choose from.

The Step 4 epilogue is free, the wedding DLC, Derek DLC, and Baxter DLC cost money.

i’m not sure how much of the wedding dlc you have planned already, or if this would be to spoilery, but what kind of wedding traditions will be included? i keep thinking about how flustered cove would get over a garter toss & was wondering if we’d see a scene like that haha. obviously no worries if it’s not included, i’ll enjoy literally anything cove related 

I don’t know for sure yet, haha. Right now we’re focused on the parts before the big day. We’ll see how many scene alterations we can include for the wedding itself later on.

Hello! Firstly, thank you for creating such an amazing game like OL, and I couldn’t be more excited for OL2! Out of curiosity, are you looking for any writers to come on for OL2 or are you all pretty much set in that department? Just thought I’d shoot my shot haha but I’m still excited regardless ^^! 

We will be hiring writers for OL2 later this year! Thank you for the interest.

Will we be blessed with a spin-off Yandere Cove, like XOXO Blood Droplets? 

Sadly, no. It’s a shame but there’s not enough time to keep making OL1 bonus/spin-off content.

How is Q pronounced?

I’m afraid Q’s full name hasn’t been publicly announced yet so I can’t answer here (Q and T are the first letters of the names for the new LIs in Our Life: Now & Forever).

Question; is the steam version getting a Mac update?  I purchased the dlc there thinking it had Mac support without realizing it and just wondered if I’d need to refund it to purchase on itch.io 😭 

I’m really sorry, you will need to get a refund from Steam. We do hope to have it there for Steam eventually, but have no idea of when it’ll happen. Apple requires special notarization to be an officially accepted app for their devices. We don’t have that. Steam requires having that, Itch will let you release it as an non-notarized third party app. That’s why Itch is the only place that has the Mac version right now.

would you mind posting outfit sheets for Cove in every step? it would make things a lot easier for us artists. it would save a lot of time spent looking for references 

I think we did do the earlier steps when they were finished way back in 2019 (this game took a long time to make, aha), but we can probably repost them sometime!

In our life n&f, will we be able to get into qprs/will there be more options in regards to having deep platonic relationships with the love interests? Because as an aroace individual, it would be great if there could also be emphasis on platonic love so that it's more aspec inclusive. 

It’s a little hard to say at this point. There may not be things like a wedding DLC for OL2 and so the relationship for platonic and romantic feelings might not go as far as it did in the first game. We’ll kind of have to see how much we can do based on timeframe/budget constraints that will only be set near the end of the year. But we will be keeping things like that in mind at least.

hi! i really really like your game and im absolutely in love with it! i cant wait to try your other games like xoxo droplet and future OL NF :))

during the step 3 erands moment i got curious, which fudge flavor is his favorite? it seems like he likes all of them, but which 4 do you think he would like best?

also i noticed that in some playthroughs cove would let me give him a piggy back ride, and in some he wouldn't, how come?

how does your choices affect cove's interests or looks? i replayed the game without changing any choices but i got cove to look different, is it just random?

thank you!

Cove’s favorite flavors are ones with nuts and that are fruity! But he appreciates them all. Whether or not you can give him a piggyback ride depends on if your MC is fit/large enough to hold a muscular 6-foot-tall beach boy, haha.

Cove’s appearance does depend on choices and it’s generally tied to choices that are preference based rather than emotion/action based, such as which key chain you pick in Step 1.

Is it possible for cove to reject MC's proposal at the end of step 3? 

Nope. He’ll always accept.

hi! i was wondering how heavily the side characters will be featured in the our life wedding dlc? obviously it'll be cove & mc focused, but i was thinking it'd be sweet if we could take lizzie dress / suit shopping or dance with cliff at the wedding or something. 

The side characters are there about as often as they are in normal events. So, it’s clearly focused on Cove but he’s not the only person you have any meaningful moments with.

When will responses be sent out to applicants? 

I’m afraid we don’t send responses out to all applications, only ones we’re interested in offering the position to. Not everyone likes rejection emails and the amount of applications is too high to contact them all to say we’re not hiring them. We post updates on the job page when a position has news. Right now we’ve filled every role that was open.

Is there also going to be the option to keep your relationships with the love interests platonic in Our Life: Now and Forever? That's something I really appreciate in Our Life: Beginnings and Always

Yeah! OL will never force you to end up in a romantic relationship with someone.

I was wondering, in the Step 3 Happiness moment, what are the different fishes Cove can compare MC to? I got "you'd be a paradise fish, because being with you is paradise," but my friend got "you'd be an angelfish." Are there more variations? 

He says paradise fish if you’re a couple, angelfish if he’s just crushing, and then a royal dottyback/queenfish/emperor tetra (based on your gender) if he likes the MC platonicly.

Hello! So, in one of the Step 3 DLCs, Cove's arm was gone. I think it was to show him putting his arm behind his back. But if that wasn't the case, did it get yeeted? 

Thanks for letting us know. That was an error we tried to fix a little while back. When did you make the save file you were playing? If it was older that might be why it happened. Or maybe the error wasn’t fully fixed after all.

Asking for your opinion, but do you think Cove would at all be into ABBA? Because all I could imagine during the car trip in step 3 was him and the MC belting to Mamma Mia. 

Haha, yeah, there’d definitely be some ABBA songs he was into.

So throughout the game, Cove can develop different interests depending on the player’s choices; does this mean that he can have different careers in Step 4? Or his is line of work in adulthood never mentioned at all? 

He can have different career paths in Step 4!

Hi!! I'm so so sorry if this has been asked before but I just acquired knowledge about the so famous nsfw dlc for OL and nearly chocked on my bubblegum 💀💀💀 So, my real inquiry is if that specific moment will have any kind of impact at some point of the fourth step OR if it will just be treated as a side-story-ish “what if” scenario.Also, is there any chance there'll be something similar for Step 4? Haha jk,,, unless 😳Questions apart let me thank you profoundly for making the best visual novel I've ever played 😭 Really really looking forward the epilogue and OL2 💕 Have a nice day 

It’s just a bonus side story that’s fully separate from the main game.

It would be nice to have one for Step 4 too, but I sadly don’t see us having time to actually do it. I don’t know, if people are still asking for more OL1 content several months from now it might be doable and worth doing.

I'd just like to ask, when is Baxter's birthday :0 -- I'm really curious esp with their zodiac signs so ;w; 

I don’t know, haha. Maybe I’ll come up with one someday.

Please help!! I bought the Step 3 DLC but I still have no idea how to get to where you can propose to Cove - any tips? 

&

How do I get the option to propose to Cove at the end of the game?

You can click HERE for a discussion on that.

I love that Miranda and Terry are getting together! I'm curious if you have canon sexualities for them? Also just wanted to say how much I love OL and how much joy it brings me everytime I play it <3 

Terry likes ladies and Miranda likes dudes!

ngl Step 4 Terry's design reads like y'all see trans guys as their assigned gender more than you see them as men to me (a trans guy)... like maybe if he isn't heavily dysphoric, I could see it, but everything you've said about him doesn't line up with that. Even then, immediate warning bells go off in my head looking at him. I wouldn't have touched the game if I saw him ahead of time.

I’m sorry you aren’t comfortable with the way the design looks. The situation with Terry is that he’s now open about who he is, but the body he was born with is still physically the same. He only came out recently as an adult and hasn’t gone through any treatments/procedures yet (his chest is flatter because he wears a binder). However, even though his body hasn’t transitioned at the point Step 4 happens, no one treats him as anything other than the guy he is. Having a trans character who’s identity is supported/respected from the start is what we’re going for in this case. But what we’re doing with Terry isn’t the only trans content we’ve ever had/ever will have in the future.

how would baxter react to bae pyoun and vice versa? and can you please detailly explain both love interests personalities from our life 2: now and forever? i was just curious, sorry for dumb question!! 

I imagine it’d be pretty opposite experiences, haha. Bae would initially think Baxter is pushy and thoughtless, but would quickly realize, oh, he’s instead a soft, considerate boy. Very cute. Baxter would first be struck with the impression that Bae is charming and gentlemanly, but then would realize that, no, he’s a sarcastic asshole. And I’m afraid we can’t reveal the personalities for the next game yet.

Sorry if you've already answered this, but I have a question about the patreon exclusive moment you're working on. I was wondering if it's mainly going to be CGs or if it's mostly character sprites + backgrounds with some CGs.

Either way, thank you for doing the Lord's work and not only making Cove, but making this bonus moment as well 😌😌😌

It’s mostly sprites/backgrounds with two CGs!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you again for the interesting questions everyone :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[hannigramficrecs]

A/B/O

The One That Got Away by whatacunningboy [words: 4,694]

Hannibal Lecter had this macabre air to his name. Everyone knew who he was and in what he specialized in—assassination was his trade and no one questioned it. He could make anyone disappear with a simple trick or two. He never missed a target, he was quiet, and swift. Yet, he missed the biggest target of all.

Ethics & Aesthetics by fragile-teacup [words: 106,330]

Pride and Prejudice omegaverse AU

Beginning and Ending by LittleUggie [words: 36,888]

19 year old Will gets cornered in an alley right before his first heat. Hannibal steps into help him out and decides he wants to keep the young omega. Will eventually comes around, against his better judgement. Let the mutual manipulation and power games begin.

I Could Just Eat You Up by orphan_account [words: 32,604] 

Hannibal breeds Will. A love story in bodily fluids.

Sirens Wail by Breakmybones [words: 48,495]

Will has been an Omega since his eighteenth birthday. He's been a Beta since his twenty-third. Finding a mate was never a priority - staying out of the spotlight and keeping his secret was. Enter Hannibal: dark, dangerous and keeping secrets of his own, Will knows what he is from the beginning, but he's more interested in understanding the beast than slaying it.

Bright Hair About The Bone by MissDisoriental [words: 484,669] 

In a world where omegas are little more than trophies to be bought and sold, Will Graham has done the unthinkable by escaping a forced bonding. Already in high demand as a profiler, Will's determined to find freedom on his own terms.For Hannibal Lecter the outlook is far more straightforward: a slow, systematic seduction of the most uniquely captivating omega he's ever encountered.As the shadow of a new and terrifying serial killer falls over Baltimore, the stage is set to redefine all accepted meanings of passion, temptation, horror and beauty – and to discover the ecstasy of a genuine love crime.

Not Interested by Watermelonsmellinfellon [words: 64,333] 

Will Graham, an Omega of forty-four years, finally finds himself interested in an Alpha. The only problem... that Alpha is not interested in him! And he can't stand it!

The Only Place I Can Hold You by snapdragonpop007 [words: 27,865]

“Hello, Jack.” These past two years had not been kind to Will Graham-Lecter. The solitary confinement that Chilton had promised would help had only seemed to make the omega worse. “I was wondering when you were gonna come talk to me.” Will hadn’t looked up from the book in his hands. He was running his fingertips across the pages, and when Jack looked a little closer he could see that it was full of photographs.

Friends To Lovers by Sirenja, TigerPrawn [words: 8,008] 

When Harry Met Sally AU

Consortio by kelex [words: 23,088] 

Every Omega in the land is brought to the lord on the evening of their first heat. Lord Hannibal usually doesn't choose to exercise that right, but this night's offering is too much for him to pass up. A virgin Omega in his first heat, with brown hair, blue eyes, and a spirit that can't be broken.

Sharing A Bed by TigerPrawn [words: 4,150] 

Will, Hannibal, Jimmy and Zeller are sent to Butfuck Nowhere on a case and the small hotel has messed up the booking leaving them with only 2 rooms between the 4 of them. And specifically Omega Will having to share with Hannibal, the only Alpha on the trip.

Stormchaser by YouAreMyDesign [words: 6,465] 

One thing, Hannibal knows absolutely; Will is empty, all the time. He aches to be filled.

Pathology by YouAreMyDesign [words: 14,129] 

In his periphery, Hannibal's head tilts. "Tell me," he purrs, "how exactly does one your age come to enroll in an FBI training facility?"

There Will Be Bells by Entropyrose [words: 36,639] 

In Georgian England, male omegas are very rare diamonds. Baron and Baroness Graham have a plan to build their wealth and social status by offering their son Will's hand in marriage to a mysterious older Duke, an Alpha named Lord Hannibal Lecter. Will's personal feelings need not apply.

Alpha Mart by slashyrogue [words: 63,164] 

Will needs an alpha. After years of fake knots, half-assed suppressants, and his own damn hand during heats he’s reached the end of his rope. He doesn’t do dating so he decides to waste his life savings and hype with the current trend. Alpha Mart.

Enchanted By Your Name by CarnivalMirai [words: 9,207] 

“Now, my husband would prefer it if I got the job done quickly.” He says, slashing down the back of each gag as he passes each man, watching as the silk falls gracefully to the floor. “However, I want to have some fun. Considering you’ve troubled my husband so much… it’s only fair, right?” One of the men whimpered fearfully. Or: The name "Will Graham" is a name you'll only ever hear once.

I've Been Building Black Ships by cloudsarefluffy [words: 8,116] 

Alpha Hannibal moves to the States with his sister Mischa after being overtly done with the fancy life of a count, and his blind omega neighbor gives him an insight into love that he never quite expected.

A Rare Find by hit_the_books [words: 5,379] 

Life as an omega bookseller can be quite lonely. However, as the owner of Graham’s Books, Will Graham is reasonably content. That is until he meets—long-time customer and crush—Doctor Hannibal Lecter in person for the first time. Attraction blossoming between them both, Will agrees to a dinner date with the good doctor.

We All Have a Hunger by 1ntothew1ld [words: 12,260] 

Hannibal will ensure a properly slow and painful death for an alpha who allowed a beautiful young omega to go to waste as this one has. Too skinny for his own good, a stuttering and humble mess. The likes of the omega in front of him belonged at Opera houses and in million-dollar mansions, not scrounging for his next meal. Meek and afraid in some disheveled row house. When he finally looked back up the alpha had to conceal the utter punch to the stomach that meager glance was, blue eyes full of innocence but also hunger.

The Doctor Is In by Kummerspeck7 

Will nearly scoffed. "You can't expect me to believe you'd want anything other than a delicate flower to adorn your side, keep your ostentatious home, bare you the exact number of children you want--No more, no less-- all while being available at your whims." "Not at all." Hannibal disagreed. "I would no more put a wilting flower in my home than in a bouquet given as a gift. Tell me, Will, is that how you are treated? Forbidden from work, cloistered inside and used at Mr Brown's discretion?" "My Alpha's discretion." Hannibal looked pointedly at the curve of Will's neck, free from a single scar. "Not yet he isn't."

Sugar by Sweaty_dogman [words: 12,659] 

Hannibal finds himself hung up on his friends mother, desperate to find ways to spend time with the omega. Will Graham is a beautiful, kind and single omega. The young alpha finds himself struggling to keep his emotions hidden.

No One Falls the Way We Fell by HigherMagic [words: 9,206] 

Five years ago, Hannibal's mate died, leaving him with their young daughter. He's tried to move on, but Abigail keeps interrupting his sleep and insisting that she can see her mother in her room at night. Hannibal turns to Alana for help, and Alana gives Abigail a doll, someone to talk to and help her accept her mother's passing. Once the doll arrives, though, strange things start happening in Hannibal's house. It's impossible to consider, of course, but if anyone could defy death and return to them from beyond the grave, it would be Will.

Proud of You by CarnivalMirai [words: 11,748] 

Will worked right up until labour to make money, through all the sickness and fatigue and swollen ankles, he worked to bring his little boy the best life. And it has paid off. As of last week, Hannibal has sent off his university applications. Medicine at Johns Hopkins, Harvard Medical School, Stanford University, and the University of Pennsylvania. He’s applied for a scholarship at all of them, and Will desperately hopes he gets it. He knows he will. He’s Hannibal, after all. His baby can do anything.

Venus Is Bright by wolfgraham [words: 7,237] 

Tomorrow, he tells himself, tomorrow he'll set new rules, boundaries. He'll tidy up Hannibal's room and give him the talk, and download Matefinder on his phone. But is it so bad? So bad to wish that the world outside the two of them would just disappear and leave them be?

Creator by Caidepgun, wolfgraham [words: 5,589] 

Will and his son, Hannibal, have an unusual relationship.

My First, My Last, My Everything by TheBl00dyFl0wer [words: 14,930]

Will Graham's encephalitis gets out of control and messes with his hormones, mutates him. May I present: Will Graham, the first known Omega.

Room 205 by HotMolasses [words: 9,220] 

Will is an Alpha, but in name only. He's a hotel maid at the Graham Bed & Breakfast. He considers himself a freak; an Alpha with no knot, who dreams of a powerful Omega to dominate him. He's pretty certain that because of this, he'll be alone for the rest of his life. Then he meets Hannibal Lecter.

Howl by multifandom_fanfic_writer [words: 7,083] 

When omegas go into heat, they go feral. Only an alpha strong enough to subdue them is a worthy mate. Will Graham has never found anyone worthy. After all, there is only one alpha Will plans to submit to – and he doesn’t even know their name.

Careful, He Bites by maxxeoff [words: 10,328] 

Will Graham is a feral child. His dad died when he was five, and he lives with a wolf pack until he has his first heat. He's found, brought to Baltimore. Dr. Lecter takes an interest in him.

Predator by eijirouN_17 [words: 7,619] 

Will hasn't presented, he doesn't give off any scent at all so everyone, including himself, assumes he's a beta. Then Will goes into heat. At a crime scene. In front of everyone. And Hannibal tries so hard not to go feral.

[improvidence318]

i said screw it so here it is

howdy howdy, this is the anon with the 20’s lingo sheet. i don’t have a tumblr (though i wish i do tbh) and realized that i don’t know how to work shit on tumblr, so i’m just sending in the sheet through a text post. i am highly aware of the amount of power i’m bestowing upon you and honestly couldn’t give a damn

A

ab-so-lute-ly: affirmative all wet: incorrect And how!: I strongly agree! ankle: to walk, i.e.. “Let’s ankle!” apple sauce: flattery, nonsense, i.e.. “Aw, applesauce!” Attaboy!: well done!; also, Attagirl!

B

baby: sweetheart. Also denotes something of high value or respect. baby grand: heavily built man baby vamp: an attractive or popular female, student. balled up: confused, messed up. baloney: Nonsense! Bank’s closed.: no kissing or making out ie. “Sorry, mac, bank’s closed.” bearcat: a hot-blooded or fiery girl beat it: scram, get lost. beat one’s gums: idle chatter bee’s knee’s: terrific; a fad expression. Dozens of “animal anatomy” variations existed: elephant’s eyebrows, gnat’s whistle, eel’s hips, etc. beef: a complaint or to complain. beeswax: business, i.e. “None of your beeswax.” Student. bell bottom: a sailor bent: drunk berries: (1) perfect (2) money big cheese: important person big six: a strong man; from auto advertising, for the new and powerful six cylinder engines. bimbo: a tough guy bird: general term for a man or woman, sometimes meaning “odd,” i.e. “What a funny old bird.” blotto (1930 at the latest): drunk, especially to an extreme bootleg: illeagal liquor breezer (1925): a convertable car bug-eyed Betty (1927): an unattractive girl, student. bull: (1) a policeman or law-enforcement official, including FBI. (2) nonesense (3) to chat idly, to exaggerate bump off: to kill bum’s rush, the: ejection by force from an establishment bunny (1925): a term of endearment applied to the lost, confused, etc. Often coupled with “poor little.” bus: any old or worn out car.

C

cake-eater: a lady’s man caper: a criminal act or robbery. cat’s meow: great, also “cat’s pajamas” and “cat’s whiskers” cash: a kiss Cash or check?: Do we kiss now or later? cast a kitten: to have a fit. Used in both humorous and serious situations. i.e. “Stop tickling me or I’ll cast a kitten!” Also, “have kittens.” cheaters: eye glasses check: Kiss me later. chewing gum: double-speak, or ambiguous talk. choice bit of calico: attractive female, student. chopper: a Thompson Sub-Machine Gun, due to the damage its heavy .45 caliber rounds did to the human body.  chunk of lead: an unnattractive female, student. clam: a dollar coffin varnish: bootleg liquor, often poisonous. copacetic: excellent crasher: a person who attends a party uninvited crush: infatuation cuddler: one who likes to make out

D

daddy: a young woman’s boyfriend or lover, especially if he’s rich. daddy-o: a term of address dame: a female. Did not gain widespread use until the 1930’s. dapper: a Flapper’s dad darb: a great person or thing. “That movie was darb.” dead soldier: an empty beer bottle. deb: a debutant. dewdropper: a young man who sleeps all day and doesn’t have a job. dogs: feet doll: an attractive woman. dolled up: dressed up don’t know from nothing: doesn’t have any information don’t take any wooden nickels: don’t do anything stupid. doublecross: to cheat, stab in the back. dough: money drugstore cowboy: A well-dressed man who loiters in public areas trying to pick up women. dry up: shut up, get lost ducky: very good dumb Dora: an absolute idiot, a dumbbell, especially a woman; flapper.

E

earful: enough egg: a person who lives the big life

F

face stretcher: an old woman trying to look young fella: fellow. As common in its day as “man,” “dude,” or “guy” is today. “That John sure is a swell fella.” fire extinguisher: a chaperone fish: (1) a college freshman (2) a first timer in prison flat tire: a bore flivver: a Model T; after 1928, also could mean any broken down car. floorflusher: an insatiable dancer flour lover: a girl with too much face powder fly boy: a glamorous term for an aviator For crying out loud!: same usage as today four-flusher: a person who feigns wealth while mooching off others.

G

gams (1930): legs gatecrasher: see “crasher” get-up (1930): an outfit. get a wiggle on: get a move on, get going get in a lather: get worked up, angry giggle water: booze gimp: cripple; one who walks with a limp.  Gangster Dion O’Bannion was called Gimpy due to his noticeable limp. gin mill: a seller of hard liquor; a cheap speakeasy glad rags: “going out on the town” clothes go chase yourself: get lost, scram. gold-digger (1925): a woman who pursues men for their money. goods, the: (1) the right material, or a person who has it (2) the facts, the truth, i.e. “Make sure the cops don’t get the goods on you.” goof: (1) a stupid or bumbling person, (2) a boyfriend, flapper. goofy: in love grummy: depressed grungy: envious

H

handcuff: engagement ring hard-boiled: tough, as in, a tough guy, ie: “he sure is hard-boiled!” hayburner: (1) a gas guzzling car (2) a horse one loses money on heavy sugar (1929): a lot of money heebie-jeebies (1926): “the shakes,” named after a hit song. heeler: a poor dancer high hat: a snob. hip to the jive: cool, trendy hit on all sixes: to perform 100 per cent; as “hitting on all six cylinders”; perhaps a more common variation in these days of four cylinder engines was “hit on all fours”.  See “big six”. hood (late 20s): hoodlum hooey:  nonsense. Very popular from 1925 to 1930, used somewhat thereafter. hop: a teen party or dance Hot dawg!: Great!; also: “Hot socks!"  Rarely spelled as shown outside of flapper circles until popularized by 1940s comic strips. hot sketch: a card or cut-up

I

"I have to go see a man about a dog.”: “I’ve got to leave now,” often meaning to go buy whiskey. icy mitt: rejection insured: engaged iron (1925): a motorcycle, among motorcycle enthusiasts iron one’s shoelaces: to go to the restroom ish kabibble (1925): a retort meaning “I should care."  Was the name of a musician in the Kay Kayser Orchestra of the 1930s.

J

jack: money Jake: great, ie. "Everything’s Jake.” Jalopy: a dumpy old car Jane: any female java: coffee jeepers creepers: a term of exclamation jitney: a car employed as a private bus. Fare was usually five-cents; also called a “nickel.” joe: coffee Joe Brooks: a perfectly dressed person; student. john: a toilet joint: establishment juice joint: a speakeasy

K

kale: money keen: appealing killjoy: a solemn person knock up: to make pregnant know one’s onions: to know one’s business or what one is talking about

L

lay off: cut the crap left holding the bag: (1) to be cheated out of one’s fair share (2) to be blamed for something let George do it: a work evading phrase level with me: be honest limey: a British soldier or citizen, from World War I line: a false story, as in “to feed one a line.” live wire: a lively person lollapalooza (1930): a humdinger lollygagger: (1) a young man who enjoys making out (2) an idle person

M

manacle: wedding ring mazuma: money milquetoast (1924): a very timid person; from the comic book character Casper mind your potatoes: mind your own business. mooch: to leave moonshine: homemade whiskey mop: a handkerchief munitions: face powder

N

neck: to kiss passionately necker: a girl who wraps her arms around her boyfriend’s neck. nifty: great, excellent noodle juice: tea Not so good!: I personally disapprove. “Now you’re on the trolley!”: Now you’ve got it, now you’re right.

O

off one’s nuts: crazy Oh yeah!: I doubt it! old boy: a male term of address, used in conversation with other males. Denoted acceptance in a social environment.  Also “old man” “old fruit.” “How’s everything old boy?” Oliver Twist: a skilled dancer on a toot: a drinking binge on the lam: fleeing from police on the level: legitimate, honest on the up and up: on the level orchid: an expensive item ossified: drunk owl: a person who’s out late

P

palooka: (1) a below-average or average boxer (2) a social outsider, from the comic strip character Joe Palooka, who came from humble ethnic roots panic: to produce a big reaction from one’s audience percolate: (1) to boil over (2) As of 1925, to run smoothly; “perk” pet: necking, only more; making out petting pantry: movie theater piffle: baloney piker: (1) a cheapskate (2) a coward pill: (1) a teacher (2) an unlikable person pinch: to arrest. Pinched: to be arrested. pinko: liberal pipe down: stop talking prom-trotter: a student who attends all school social functions pos-i-lute-ly: affirmative, also “pos-i-tive-ly” punch the bag: small talk putting on the ritz: after the Ritz Hotel in Paris (and its namesake Caesar Ritz); doing something in high style. Also “ritzy.”

Q

R

rag-a-muffin: a dirty or disheveled individual rain pitchforks: a downpour razz: to make fun of Real McCoy: a genuine item regular: normal, typical, average; “Regular fella.” Reuben: an unsophisticated country bumpkin. Also “rube” Rhatz!: How disappointing! rub: a student dance party rubes: money or dollars rummy: a drunken bum

S

sap: a fool, an idiot. Very common term in the 20s. says you: a reaction of disbelief scratch: money screaming meemies: the shakes screw: get lost, get out, etc. Occasionally, in pre 1930 talkies (such as The Broadway Melody) screw is used to tell a character to leave. One film features the line “Go on, go on – screw!"  screwy: crazy; "You’re screwy!” sheba: one’s girlfriend sheik: one’s boyfriend simolean: a dollar sinker: a doughnut sitting pretty: in a prime position skirt: an attractive female smarty: a cute flapper smudger: a close dancer sockdollager: an action having a great impact so’s your old man: a reply of irritation speakeasy: a bar selling illeagal liquor spill: to talk spoon: to neck, or at least talk of love static: (1) empty talk (2) conflicting opinion stilts: legs struggle: modern dance stuck on: in love, student. sugar daddy: older boyfriend who showers girlfriend with gifts swanky: (1) good (2) elegant swell: (1) good (2) a high class person

T

take someone for a ride: to take someone to a deserted location and murder them. tasty: appealing teenager: not a common term until 1930; before then, the term was “young adults.” tell it to Sweeney: tell it to someone who’ll believe it. tight: attractive Tin Pan Alley: the music industry in New York, located between 48th and 52nd Streets tomato: a “ripe” female torpedo: a hired thug or hitman

U

unreal: special upchuck: to vomit upstage: snobby

V

vamp: (1) a seducer of men, an aggressive flirt (2) to seduce voot: money

W

water-proof: a face that doesn’t require make-up wet blanket: see Killjoy wife: dorm roomate, student. What’s eating you?: What’s wrong? whoopee: wild fun Woof! Woof!: ridicule

X

Y

You slay me!: That’s funny!

Z

zozzled: drunk

  have fun.

[honeyymistt]

hello! may i rant here? you don't have to reply or anything...

recently, i met with an online friend. i've known that friend as someone who has extreme anxiety when it comes to socializing and i honestly... feel the same i guess. we hadn't talked for some months, and it was just recently (and suddenly) that we've decided to meet each other...

she... did great in socializing. i hate to admit but i'm envious because i thought i did great in socializing months ago, but we stopped talking and somehow, ever since, i progressed worse. i tried to become better, even changed my mindset to learn how to get over this (done better in acads, done better in denial), but i'm afraid i'm still on the wrong side. i hadn't gotten better.

it's no fair to blame this on her because it's my own personal issues, but... i just wish i had someone who understands me i guess.

i feel that you would tell me to be kind to myself, that i've made progress and that i just don't see it. maybe that is right, but for so long, i try to be kind to myself only to realize it's just me stalling to face my problems and it's me being in denial, on-highs-of-alcohol being-kind-to-myself.

i'm sorry for this long rant, but thank you if you've read it. it really means a lot to me :).

hi!! before you read the stuff under the cut, i want to apologize again for SUCH a late reply. i read this i think a few days after you sent it in but life got very busy with school deadlines and then i took a 2-week Tumblr break to focus and this just got pushed back much more than i intended it to. i hope that you see this post (i’m not going to reblog things for a day or two so that if you search my blog, this post is the first thing you see. ok, with that out of the way, my full reply is under the cut <3

you’re right in the sense that i will tell you to be kinder to yourself. socializing is a tough thing to do and although i don’t have social anxiety, socializing is still something that makes me nervous or scared. do you know the saying “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder?” i think that the saying could also be applied to socializing skills. let me explain first!!! as i mentioned earlier, i don’t have social anxiety but i actually am pretty shy. and what’s always surprised me is that when i say i’m shy, everyone has a different reaction. to some of the friends i’ve made recently, they’re shocked and they tell me that i was easy to become friends with because i’m so approachable, because i’m easy to talk to, i’m a good listener, etc. but to some childhood friends, i’m the shyest person ever (because younger me never participated in class LOL). every person in my life has a different perception of my social skills and after awhile, i’ve realized that it’s because what other people perceive as good is really dependent on how they think their socialization is.

i’m sure you’re wondering what all that ramble was about earlier but i guess what i’m trying to say is that, maybe you’re being harder on yourself than you need to be. so she did great with socializing when you hung out but you know what? maybe she was just having a really great day, maybe she was actually super nervous, maybe she thought that she wasn’t actually that good. and most shocking of all (i know you’ll find this hard to believe but...) maybe she was just as impressed with your socializing skills as you were with hers. and i know that it’s annoying to hear those things but remember: socializing skills are in the eyes of the beholder. maybe she’s just as envious of your skills as you are of hers. and if you really don’t believe any of that at all then i hope you accept your small win of meeting up with her. socializing is hard and the fact that you met up with her despite not being confident in your skills and being nervous, that itself is something to be proud of.

i want to end this by telling you i’m proud of you and that i understand you. socializing is a hard thing to do and it’s scary but i think a big part of getting better is to keep pushing yourself to practice. i promise you that socializing gets easier the more you do it. what’s important is that you don’t compare yourself to other people. the best person to compare yourself to is yourself.

earlier in your message, you mentioned that you’re on the wrong side and i want to say that it’s nothing to be embarrassed of. sometimes these things happen and you let yourself fall into this rabbit hole of negativity. it’s ok. i’ve been there and i’m sure many other people can say the same. be gentle with yourself, show yourself some kindness. you won’t stay on the wrong side forever; but if you need a hand to hold or someone to listen or talk to to make it a bit more bearable then i hope you know that you have me. <3

[ofmythsandmadness]

prompts & requests.

SO...I never meant to delay this for so long, I’m so sorry for this, but I’m excited to rejuvenate this page -- I’m quite bad with tumblr, but I just hit 350 followers and I figured I’d put in a second dime for trying to make this little account work. People seem to like my little writings (which surprises me tbh, but I appreciate the love) and I’ve gotten a lot of questions about requests, so here’s the masterpost of all that for here!

PLEASE NOTE: I don’t use Tumblr too regularly, I’m trying to be more active but because of life & stuff, I’m not always active to write. Plus, just because you request something, doesn’t mean I will automatically be able to give that! It takes time, inspiration, and often the ability to form a sentence, which weirdly I struggle with. Way too often.

ALSO! please feel free to check out the kofi link in my bio (can’t link it here bc tumblr doesn’t like links and this won’t show up at all) and buy me a coffee if you feel like it! please don’t if you can’t and i’m not trying to force, guilt or forcibly nudge anyone to do it, it’s just if you can and want to support me, that’d be real sweet. :)

WHO I WRITE FOR...most people look at this acc for tua writings, which i’ve got an abundance of! I’m quite fine with any requests of any characters, except for five (unless like it’s some aged up version of him; I don’t feel comfy writing about him and I just don’t care to). I also will write for a lot of other fandoms if you ask for them: those including marvel, stranger things (those of age, i’m not writing stories about minors), harry potter and a couple others. Just ask me, I’ll let you know if I write for the fandom & we can move from there, darling. :)

HOW TO REQUEST...I prefer not too many details in a request, just so I still feel inspired to write the piece. So, if you’re asking based on a prompt below, tell me the number(s), the character you’re looking for, and any details you feel necessary to add! Remember, nothing too specific, like don’t give me the entire plot but things like genre, atmosphere, details on the reader are okay. I usually write either genderless or female reader (I try to stick with the former to be accommodating) but you can ask for a specifically gender-neutral or female/male reader too. This also applies to fics you want garnered to a specific section of the LGBTQIA+ community (for example, if you wanted a lesbian reader with Vanya Hargreeves). I try not to add any details to appearance to the story so that everyone can enjoy the fic, but again you can ask for any specific and I will try my best to accomodate for you lovelies.

REQUEST EXAMPLE - “Can you write something with prompt number 3 and 17? Preferably with a gender-neutral reader, and with Allison Hargreeves? I’d like it to be a happy fic, please, and for the reader to not have any powers. Also, they’re a cat person! Thanks!”

Obviously, I know most people know what’s up and are respectful. But just in case you wanted an example, there you go. :)

PROMPTS LIST

(these were made by me and to my knowledge, they’re not used elsewhere, only some were taken off my last requests list. also, feel free to mix + match and ask for as many as you want)

Quote Based Prompts:

1. ‘I think I’m falling for you,’ clumsy character. 2. ‘C’mon, this is definitely safe!’ 3. ‘Do you believe in ghosts?’ + ‘Why, is there something you want to tell me?’ 4. ‘Shut up about your black coffee aesthetic and try my (insert here) drink.’ 5. ‘I’m only asking for a hug because I forgot my coat and you’re like a human furnace...don’t get any ideas.’ 6. ‘Just five more minutes.’ 7. ‘And you’re sure this isn’t illegal?’ 8. ‘Wanna go get married?’ 9. ‘I love you” “don’t lie to me’ 10. ‘I hate you’ + ‘no, you don’t.’ 11. ‘let’s dance to taylor swift and forget about reality for a moment, please.’ 12. ‘why don’t you trust me?’ 13. ‘promise me, we’ll make it out of this alive.’ 14. ‘we can’t just pushing each other away and expecting things are going to change.’ 15. ‘why are you helping me?’ 16. ‘tell me a secret.’ 17. ‘you can’t friend-zone me, we’re married!’ 18. ‘is this the end?’ 19. ‘I let you win.’ 20. ‘go away’ + ‘no, not until I know you’re okay’ 21. ‘we were supposed to be forever.’ 22. ‘nothing’s fair in love and war.’ 23. ‘I want to be here for the good and the bad.’ 24. ‘So...what happened this time?’ 25. ‘I just really wanted to see you.’ 26. ‘Uh, that’s the whole point?!’ 27. ‘You cut your hair?’ + ‘I just needed a change.’ 28. ‘I can’t lose you too, dammit!’ 29. ‘Don’t lie, you’re a hopeless romantic at heart.’ 30. ‘Can we keep it?!’ 31. ‘Why can’t this happen like it does in the movies?!’ 32. ‘Can you come with me? It’s just to get gum, but I don’t want to be alone.’ 33. ‘I made muffins!’ + ‘You can bake?!’ 34. ‘I can’t sleep.’ + ‘We can share.’ 35. ‘It used to be so simple...’ 36. ‘STOP SINGING THAT SONG OR-’ + ‘-or what?’ 37. ‘I just wanted to tell you...you look really nice tonight.’ 38. ‘Ooh, show me, show me!’ 39. ‘I really wish I could paint, because you’re the perfect muse right now.’ 40. ‘Where’d you learn how to do that?’ 41. ‘Hey, it’s okay...you’re safe now.’ 42. ‘Am I in heaven?’ + ‘Aw, you think I’m your idea of heaven?’ 43. ‘I’m not crying!’ + ‘Oh, so it’s normal for your eyes to leak like that?’ 44. ‘Why wouldn’t you tell me that sooner?!’ 45. ‘What do you think of kids?’ 46. ‘Do you think I’m a good person?’ 47. ‘Don’t look down.’ + ‘You’re only telling me that now?!’ 48. ‘It’s okay...it’s going to be okay...’ 49. ‘I didn’t think it would hurt so much to do this.’ 50. ‘Nerd.’ + ‘Loser.’ 51. ‘Wait, you actually came?’ 52. ‘You didn’t notice the one bed before?!’ + ‘It didn’t say on the website!’ 53. ‘I’m in the hospital, but don’t worry--’ + ‘Don’t worry?!’ 54. ‘Yeah, I was jealous. So what?’ 55. ‘Did you know you talk when you sleep?’ 56. ‘Of course I kept it. Why wouldn’t I?’ 57. ‘I can’t get you out of my head...’ 58. ‘I made you it because I love you, duh.’ 59. ‘I trust you.’ 60. ‘How am I supposed to trust you?!’ 61. ‘You have to start getting better excuses.’ 62. ‘I think they like you!’ 63. ‘I swear if you sing baby it’s cold outside ONE MORE TIME--’ 64. ‘You’re telling me you don’t know all the words to Promiscuous? Who are you?!’ 65. ‘I only went along with it for your sake, you know I hate (insert here).’ 66. ‘Hold my hand but only so we don’t get lost. I don’t need you getting any ideas about us.’ 67. ‘Loosen up, jackass, and give in to evil a little more!’ 68. ‘You didn’t respond to any of my texts, so I assumed you were either dying or crying. I brought answers to both situations.’ 69. ‘That’s it. I’m officially convinced that you’re actually three years old.’

Situation Based Prompts: 1. Person A refuses to dress for the cold and gets sick; Person B is stuck taking care of them afterwards. 2. Person A finds a stray and wants to take it home, but Person B isn’t so interested. 3. Coffee Shop AU; Person A shows up every Saturday to work, and Person B becomes infatuated with the mysterious person. 4. Person A wants to watch a scary movie. Person B accepts, too chicken to admit they’re terrified of horror movies. 5. Person A falls asleep, and Person B plays with their hair. 6. Person A and B wake up hungover and realise that they got married last night. 7. ‘Oh...you love them’, where Person A realises that their real feelings for Person B. 8. Person A is a Christmas enthusiast, but Person B hates the holiday season. 9. (School Based Prompt); Person A doesn’t know how to talk to Person B, and decides to pretend to need help in a subject they definitely don’t need help with. 10. Person A decides to confess their feelings to Person B through a series of anonymous gifts...only they aren’t who B suspects behind it all... 11. Person A and B have a Catwoman/Batman type relationship, dancing around one another and ignoring their obvious feelings. 12. Younger!Person A and B shared their first kiss with each other -- not because of feelings, JUST to get it over with. It never meant anything, right? 13. There’s only a little bit of time left for Person A...will they make it to B, in time? 14. (Flower Shop AU) Person A comes in every day to purchase the same single flower every time, and Person B has no clue why. 15. (Villain/Hero AU) Person A goes home to find B in their bed, bleeding and fast asleep. 16. Person A has a fear of driving. Person B finally asks why. 17. (School Based AU) Person A and B get paired together to complete a project worth a lot of their grade. The only problem? They hate each other. 18. (Coffee Shop AU) Person A comes in every day with a different name and sunglasses on, ordering the same thing every time. And Person B is obsessed. 19. Person A has a hard day at work. Person B doesn’t know what they should do to help. 20. Person A finally finds out about Person B’s big secret -- only, it doesn’t come from Person B. 21. Person A is the most oblivious person in the world. Person B is slowly losing their mind over it. 22. Everyone thinks that Person A and C are meant to be together, and it’s only A and B who really, really don’t see it. 23. And they were roommates (oh my god, they were roommates...) 24. Person A’s roommate’s boyfriend is over again, and they escape to Person B’s for peace of mind. 25. Person A finds a random bag and is determined to return it to the owner -- only, all the clues she has for who the person really is, is in the contents of the bag. 26. (Party Based Prompt) Person A and B really, really didn’t want to go to the party. But maybe meeting one another makes it worth it. 27. Person A and B go laser-tagging for some stress relief. 28. There’s a Halloween party and neither A or B knows who the other is going as. But the (insert costume) standing in the corner is looking rather suspicious... 29. (Apocalypse AU) Person A and B have been struggling for months alone, and finally reach something that gives them hope.  30. Person A and B both head to the roof for some escape. They definitely didn’t expect to see someone in their special place... 31. Person A works really late shifts downtown; Person B always makes sure they’re there to give them a ride, no matter how inconvenient it is. 32. Person A forgets about changing their emergency contact, and this backfires when they end up in the hospital... 33. (Soulmate AU) In a world where people don’t age past 21 until they meet their soulmate, Person A is surprised to learn that the partner they’ve been with for four years hasn’t aged a day -- but they have. 34. (Airport AU) Everything shuts down in a last-minute snowstorm, leaving two strangers stranded. 35. (School AU) Everyone ships Teacher A and B together, and scheme to finally set them up. 36. Person A and B ride the train together every day. 37. (Doctor AU) Person A has to take Person C to the doctors. Much to both surprise, Person A falls quickly for the Doctor who comes in (Person B) -- and Person C takes it upon themselves to let B know. 38. (Neighbours AU) Person A is tired of hearing Person B being so loud so late at night -- especially when they have to get up super early. They finally decide to confront them on it. 39. (Soulmate AU) Everyone has the same cuts, bruises and scars as their soulmate, which really freaks out Person A, who becomes determined to find their soulmate to make them stop getting hurt. 40. Person A and B are hiding their relationship from everyone. They’re not very good at it. 41. Person A finally trusts Person B to meet their (insert here); the last step in their relationship. 42. Person A sends their text to the LAST person they wanted to send it to: Person B. 43. (Delivery Person AU) Person A somehow always manages to be the one to sign for the office packages...does Person B have anything to do with it? (Also, why does A keep buying so much stuff?!) 44. (Arranged Marriage) Person A is being forced into a marriage to Person C neither they or Person B wants. But B might just have a plan out... 45. (Bodyguard AU) Person A always knew that Person C was rich, but never rich enough to need a legit bodyguard. But when C’s father’s company is threatened, they call in the big dogs -- and they’re cute, too. Aka...A makes a point to catch the attention of Person B at any time possible, much to their upset. 46. (University AU) Person A needs a model. Person B needs a way to occupy their afternoon. Thus, a deal is struck. 47. Person A is a private detective hired to work the case on a mysterious murder (that strangely, Person C doesn’t want getting out). Person B is C’s lead suspect, but A can’t help but feel like they’re not the real culprit... 48. Person A drags Person B along onto a roadtrip across the country to go visit their oddball grandparents. But things go south quickly. 49. Person A gets robbed, and has no one to call when they can’t shake the nightmares but Person B. 50. Person A can manipulate time, but only by an hour. Person B doesn’t know this, but gets suspicious when they see A do something very, very weird... (you can supply more details for this one) 51. (Neighbours AU) Person A and B have the thinnest walls ever, which would suck, but they both oddly have the exact same taste in music. It’s nice; if only they got to meet. 52. (Store AU) Person A and B get locked into their work’s freezer for the night. 53. (Coffee Shop AU) Person B has never met Person A; they always miss them by only a minute. They do, however, manage to sit at the exact same table every day and pick up the piece of art they leave for the next customer. 54. Person A has loved Person B their entire life. Too bad they’ll never get to tell them. 55. (Diner AU) Person A meets Person B at three in the morning when they stumble in soaked. They’re surprised, when they show up again...and again...at the exact same time. 56. (5+1) Five times Person A told Person B they loved them, and the one time Person B finally said it back. 57. (5+1) The five times Person A surprises Person B, and the one time Person B surprises A. 58. (5+1) The five times Person A broke Person B’s heart, and the one time they didn’t.  59. (5+1) The five times Person A saved Person B...and the one time Person B couldn’t save A. 60. (5+1) The five times A and B almost meet, and the first time they finally do. 61. (5+1) The five times Person A lies to Person B, and the one time they finally tell the truth. 62. Person B is like, super allergic to dogs. But Person A doesn’t need to know that. 63. Person A has no clue how to tell Person B how they feel. So, they make a playlist. 64. Person A and B accidentally switch luggage at the airport.

Happy requesting, darlings.

[wrightiverse]

Last batch of commentary for the last chapter of Crowd

Glenn looks over to see how Nick's doing, and the kid gives him a beaming grin and a thumbs up. Glenn’s heart thumps almost painfully in his chest as he grins back.

But I won't feel blue / Like I always do / 'Cause somewhere in the crowd there's you.

The “you” that was somewhere in the Crowd had to be Nick. As much as I like Robin, Nick is still the most important person in Glenn’s life, and affirming their bond was the right note to end on.

* * * * *

See, Glenn's cautiously adjusting to the idea that Nick isn’t going to kick Glenn out of his life on his 18th birthday. He definitely doesn’t know a lot of guys who get along with their fathers, but even his oblivious ass has noticed that Connor’s over at the loft every few weeks, crashing on the bunk beds that he and Nick insisted were necessary. Hell, Robin called his own parents back in Boston this morning to proudly tell them about Glenn’s show.

That's what Glenn did to his own dad, and of course that's what he's afraid of with Nick. You can't be what you don't see, and unfortunately I don't think Glenn knows a lot of guys who have a good relationship with their fathers. I certainly couldn’t come up with a third example from the characters in the dndads universe.

* * * * *

Choosing to be happy is a high-stakes bet, but Glenn's decided to let it ride. Giving up just doesn't hold the same appeal that it used to. He's going to stay in the game, trust his luck, and see what the cards have in store for him.

One of the changes in Glenn over these stories is him grasping that much of the stuff in his life, good and bad, was due to chance. He didn't bring the bad times on himself by being a bad person, and the good things in his life now aren't because he's turned it all around. Refusing to roll the dice didn't actually protect him the way he hoped it would, so he's getting back in the game. We threw it in kinda casually at the end of a silly part of the story, but it's more or less the thesis statement: Life’s still not fair, but occasionally, with the right people around... it’s good.

* * * * *

Maybe he'll get to be around to watch Nick grow up. Maybe he’ll actually find a gray hair one day, and it won’t be the end of the world.

Glenn’s vigilance about looking youthful, particularly with regard to whether his hair is going gray, has been a running bit since way back in Name. In contrast, they're both very comfortable with Robin looking his age, to the point where Glenn has a hard time even accepting that Robin looked different when he was a young man. It comes up a couple of times, often relative to Glenn's parents. Robin asks Glenn when Bill went gray, and Glenn doesn't know (and gets stressed out at the question). Robin realizes when he meets Adele that she does her grays exactly the way that he thinks would look good on Glenn. I have to imagine he never brought that particular suggestion up again, but the fact that he found out via meeting Adele and not via Glenn saying "no, that's what my mother does and I hate it" is not a great sign. Anyway, all those moments take on a different cast in light of Glenn's difficulty with making decisions on behalf of his future self. As with the "fatherhood extends past the point when your kid turns 18" revelation, some of it just comes down to him being somebody who is fairly isolated and lacks role models. This is where their often-alluded-to age gap comes in really handy: Robin and Connor can provide at least one model of a functional father-son relationship that’s a few years along from where Glenn and Nick are. That’s not the only thing Glenn needs to help him out, but it can’t hurt.

Glenn tends to self-isolate, and from my perspective, essentially none of his problems are solvable in isolation at all. This is a guy whose best friend is his kid and most of his adult interaction is with his bandmates, with whom he has a bad relationship in both this and canon. Canon Glenn never tries to use his phone to talk to anybody but Nick, IIRC. His dad is dead. His wife is dead. He never mentions any other partner, a friend, even an ex or a neighbor. He seems to vaguely know a couple of the other dads from school stuff, but not well. Maybe he has an entire support network that got mentioned after I stopped listening, but he always seemed like a really lonely guy to me in eps 1-30 or so. It made his failings make a lot of sense - he has no support and he has no points of comparison, so he just sort of freestyles it and gauges his success based on whether Nick seems happy or not. That’s not a sustainable or healthy approach, but every other one would probably require a) effort and b) external support, so... nope.

The future isn't the only time that Glenn is bad with. He also has major parts of the past blocked off, and most of the time when he thinks about something in the past, it's the result of a trigger, rather than a choice. There are definitely things in his past where it's understandable that he doesn't want to linger, but it means he’s left some good stuff behind, as well. Part of him figuring out how to break out of his patterns is developing the ability to envision both the future and the past. That's why it's so good to see him reconnecting with the first music he played, and why they finally have some pictures of Morgan up. He is making peace with the past, he is understanding that the bad stuff that happened to him was the result of random happenstance (rather than deliberate punishment for him being a bad person), and it enables him (as do some of the other things discussed above) to contemplate the premise that tomorrow might not necessarily be worse than today and the future might be worth showing up to, gray hair or no.

*****

Maybe he’ll become old and boring. Maybe he deserves to. What Glenn can say for certain is that in this moment, he's happy, and he's lucky, and he's loved.

It's tough to figure out where to end a slice-of-life story. In this case it made a lot of sense to bring it full circle with Glenn performing on his own. He opens Crowd rehearsing miserably and he spends a lot of the subsequent story untangling the mess that's become of the band and his relationship to music. I honestly don't remember why we decided Glenn's canon exit from the GC3 didn't apply, since it was a decision we made back when we actually were trying somewhat to adhere to canon, but I'm glad we did because it gave us the opportunity to follow this out and explore the different nuances of it.

I don’t know if this happens to anyone else, but I am always hugely tempted to end dndads fics with some riff on the “it’ll be all right” thing. In this case, I wanted to avoid it not just because it felt hacky but because it was a contradiction to everything we’ve been saying. There are no happy endings. I can’t promise that everything is going to be all right for Glenn, but I can promise that in this moment, in this story, in this universe, he’s happy and loved. I hope that felt earned and that you enjoyed getting there with us.

[callboxkat]

Second Chances part 5: Roman’s Story (1 of 2)

Author’s note: Hello! Welcome to the installment of Second Chances that got so long I had to cut it in half! This is Roman’s story. 

I encourage you guys to read the warnings. If you can’t read this story for whatever reason, don’t feel bad! The rest of the au will still make sense. It’s most important that you guys take care of yourselves.

One thing to remember as you read is that this is Roman’s view of the events that happened. This is how he remembers things, and how he perceived them at the time. As such, there may be some small details that aren’t quite accurate to reality, whether he’s purposefully altered them or not.

Summary: In Roman’s senior year of high school, everything was looking up. He was the star of his school’s theater program. He had an acceptance letter to a selective university, a new car, and a loving boyfriend. A part of Roman almost couldn’t believe his luck—did he really deserve all this good fortune?—but Roman brushed these doubts aside. He was dedicated to chasing his dreams. Was it really any surprise that some of them were coming true? What else could be in store for a passionate, dazzling, chivalrous Prince like himself?

Unfortunately, he would soon find that fate had other ideas. 

Warnings (for part 1): homelessness, insecurity, emotional manipulation/pressure, bad relationships, lying, arguments, breakup, false accusations

Word Count: 5232

Second Chances Masterpost! 

Writing Masterpost!

...

It was the evening of Roman’s first day working at the café. He, Patton, and Logan were all sitting in Patton’s and Logan’s living room, relaxing. Logan’s sister, Val, hadn’t come home yet, since she was out with some friends of hers.

To Roman, it seemed as good a time as any to get something off of his chest. As much as he hated to interrupt the calm atmosphere of the room, Roman felt that he owed an explanation to Patton and Logan. The couple had taken him in off the streets and let him stay in their home, and they hadn’t even asked for anything in return. They had a right to know why he had been homeless in the first place, and to know what kind of person they had let into their home. If Roman refused to share, he figured they would eventually start thinking he was some kind of criminal or something, which was the last thing he wanted.

He cleared his throat, interrupting the comfortable silence and drawing both Patton’s and Logan’s attention.

“Hey, guys…” Roman began nervously. “So, I’ve been thinking, and… you two have been really, so incredibly kind to me. And I’m—I’m so grateful for that. But… it really isn’t fair of me not to tell you… why I was homeless. You deserve to know. So, um, if you guys still want to know, I’m ready to tell you.”

Patton, of course, was quick to reassure him. He abandoned the coloring books and pencils he had been using and hurried to face him. “Oh, Roman, you don’t have to do that! I wasn’t trying to push you before.” He had, in fact, asked Roman this very question the previous day, but he’d quickly backed off at Roman’s hesitancy.

Now, Roman shook his head, wanting to assure him that Patton hadn’t pushed him into anything. “No—it’s okay. You guys deserve to know. Is—is now an okay time?” If it wasn’t… well, Roman wasn’t quite sure that he would be able to summon the courage again.

Patton gave in and nodded. Logan simply looked expectant, closing his book and setting it in his lap.

So, Roman took a deep breath, in and out, to ready himself. And he told them.

He told them how, in his senior year of high school, everything had been looking up. He was the star of his high school’s theater program; he was getting A’s and B’s in all of his classes (Logan looked surprised to hear this, but Roman pretended not to notice); and he had a loving boyfriend, Jay, who was so supportive of Roman and his dreams of becoming an actor. He and his boyfriend were looking into universities,  planning to stay as close to each other as possible after high school. The ideal scenario was that the two of them would get to attend the same university, and then get both work together, on the stage or as television actors. Roman loved the idea of seeing himself on the big screen one day, or even (dare he say it?) on Broadway.

He told them about how he’d been accepted into the theater program at a highly sought-after university, and received a scholarship that seemed almost too good to be true. He told them about how proud his parents had been of him.

And, of course, he told them how it all went wrong.

…

It was late February, early in Roman’s final semester of high school, and Roman was getting ready for school. His boyfriend, Jay, usually drove him to class, since Roman didn’t have a car and his parents left home much earlier than he did on most days.

“Roman, mijo,” his mamá called. “Would you please check the mailbox for me?”

“Can’t you check it when you leave?” Roman asked, looking up from his laptop. It was cold outside, and his hair was still damp from his shower. He would like to hide indoors for a little while longer, thank you.

“Roman,” his dad said pointedly from the kitchen table, glancing up at him from over the rim of his coffee.

Roman sighed. “Fine, fine.” He closed his laptop and grabbed his coat, shoving his feet into his stylish black boots. He unlocked the front door and walked down the lawn towards the mailbox, his footsteps crunching on the frost-covered grass. He huddled down into the collar of his coat until he reached the end of the yard. He stepped into the street, careful not to slip on the thin layer of ice there, and opened the mailbox. The metal hinge creaked in protest, and a couple of tiny icicles broke free and fell.

Inside, a thick envelope sat on top of the stack of mail. Roman felt only mildly curious about it at first, but when he was about to grab the entire stack, he saw the characteristic logo stamped across it. It was the seal of the Saint Gabriel Academy of Fine Arts.  Roman suddenly felt as frozen as the ground beneath him, staring at it. It was too soon, wasn’t it? He wasn’t expecting to hear anything back from the colleges he’d applied to for another month, at least, let alone this one. Of all the colleges he had applied to, this was the one that Roman most wanted to go to. It had a very prestigious acting program, known across the country; and, of course, it was very exclusive. Despite how selective it was, Roman had insisted on applying, just in case. He wouldn’t earn any opportunity he didn’t pursue in the first place. And it wasn’t as if he saw himself as a sub-par actor, or that other people did, either. Several people, including the head of his high school’s theater program, had actually encouraged him to apply to the school.

Admittedly, Roman wasn’t sure how many of them actually expected him to get in. He knew that even his boyfriend, as supportive as he was, had his doubts.

…

“Are you sure you want to apply there?” Roman remembered his boyfriend asking, watching as he scrolled through the university’s website. They were sharing an armchair in Jay’s house at the time, Roman practically sprawled on top of his boyfriend. It probably would have looked uncomfortable to a bystander, but Roman was perfectly content. “I mean, it’s kind of far, isn’t it? And do you really think you’d get in? They only take, like, the best actors, right?”

“What?” Roman had joked. “Are you saying I’m not the best?”

Jay laughed. “Well, of course I think you are. I just don’t want you to waste your money on the application fee if you don’t get in. And we both know I’d never get in, and I’d be heartbroken if you left me.” He gave Roman a pouty look.

“There’s nearby schools,” Roman said. “If I get in, you can go to one of those! We can see each other all the time.”

Jay pursed his lips. He was starting to look annoyed, not just worried.

“Look,” Roman said. “I really want to go to this school. Would it be so bad if we didn’t go to the same one? Besides, it’s just the application. I don’t have to accept even if they do let me in.”

Jay looked at him for a long moment. “Okay,” he sighed. “You can apply.” Then he grinned. “Just don’t come after me asking for help paying that application fee,” he joked.

Roman laughed.

…

Roman snapped back to the present as the front door opened.

“Roman?” his mamá called. “¿Qué pasa?”

He realized he had been standing in front of the mailbox for far too long. He shook his head, snatched up the pile of letters, and closed the mailbox, sending a rain of small icicles clattering down in his haste. They sparkled like shards of broken glass on the frozen earth.

“Lo siento, Mamá,” he called back. “I’m coming.”

He hurried inside after her and shut the door. He took the first, thick envelope off of the stack and gave his mamá the rest.

“Whatcha got there?” his dad asked, watching as Roman sat pulled out a chair at the kitchen table and sat down. Roman was staring at the envelope in his hand like it held the secrets of the universe.

“It’s….” Roman let him see the envelope. He could hear his mamá approaching from the other room. She gasped when she saw the logo.

“¡Ábrelo, ábrelo!” she urged.

Roman smiled, happy that she was as excited as he was.

Of course, there was  voice in the back of his head, whispering that it was not a good sign at all that he’d gotten this response so soon. Saying that he’d only gotten it so early because the school had decided to deny him the second they received his application. He stubbornly ignored that voice, and he opened the envelope. If the envelope held bad news, then it would be better to get it over with.

Several papers were inside. Was that a good sign? Surely they would have only sent one if they were denying him, right? Roman held his breath as he pulled out the first page. He scanned it, his hands shaking slightly.

“Mr. Roman Prince,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted—"

Roman shrieked, jumping up so fast that his chair fell over backwards. His startled father spilled his coffee, and his mamá had to snatch the rest of the papers off the table to keep them from getting drenched. Roman didn’t even care. He spun around in a circle, reading those words over and over again.

Accepted.

Accepted.

He’d been accepted!

Sure, he still had to figure out how to afford the tuition; and Jay would be a bit sad that they wouldn’t be attending the same school; but Roman wouldn’t let those things bring him down at this moment. He’d just been accepted into his dream school!

He only stopped his excited bouncing and spinning when his mamá gasped.

“Mijo, look!” she cried. She had pulled out the other papers in the envelope and was reading them. “You—They are giving you a scholarship!”

Roman stopped, dizzy with giddiness (and from the spinning). “A scholarship?” he echoed. He grabbed the paper, and he almost fell over at the numbers he saw there.

“Roman,” his dad rumbled after a moment, amused, “close your mouth, you’ll start catching flies.”

“I—but I—”

Roman’s mamá pulled him into a rib-cracking hug—she was small but deceptively strong—and his dad got up and clapped him on the back, smiling. “Congratulations.”

…

Roman stood in the yard, too impatient to wait inside his house. He didn’t even notice the chill. He held the envelope in both hands as he rocked back and forth on his heels, waiting for Jay to arrive. He was so excited to tell his boyfriend the news!

His smile widened, if that were possible, as his boyfriend’s black car pulled up to the curb. One of the band logo bumper stickers on the back had come loose, flapping slightly in the wind until he came to a stop. Jay honked the horn once.

Roman hurried to the car, pausing to fix the loose bumper sticker. Jay would be upset if they drove up to the school with it like that. With that done, Roman hopped into the passenger seat.

“Jay, look,” he said before he’d even finished putting on his seatbelt. He was practically vibrating with excitement.

“I’m driving, babe,” Jay said, pulling away from the curb.

“I got in!” Roman cried, unable to wait until they got to the school. “I got in, and I even got a scholarship! I can go!”

“You got in…?” he glanced over at Roman, and seemed to realize then where Roman meant. “Oh.”

“Yeah!”

The car was silent for a few seconds.

“Jay?” Roman asked, his smile faltering.

“Yeah, babe, sorry. I’m happy for you.” He stopped a little suddenly at a stop sign, and Roman’s seatbelt bit into his shoulder as he lurched forward.

“It’s going to be great!” Roman continued, his smile returning even as a slightly uneasy feeling churned in his gut. “You can visit me, and I can come see you. We’ll see each other all the time. Besides, there’s breaks and stuff.”

“It’s far is all,” Jay said eventually. “And there’s still textbooks, and housing, and meal plans, and other supplies. Even with the scholarship, I’m just not sure you can afford it.”

“I can,” Roman insisted. “It’ll be fine. And you can come see me all the time!”

Jay frowned.

“What’s the problem, anyway? We’ve talked about this before. You said it was okay if I applied.”

“Well, yeah, but I didn’t think you’d actually get in!”

And there it was. A long, awkward silence fell over them. Finally, Jay pulled over and unlocked the car doors. They were still three blocks from the school.

“Look, can you get out?” Jay sighed. “You can walk from here, right? I need a minute to think.”

Roman sighed. He’d be late, but…. “Yeah, fine.” He picked up his backpack from the floor and put his papers inside while Jay waited impatiently. “I’ll see you in English?”

“Yeah.”

Roman leaned over for a kiss, but Jay seemed not to notice, reaching over to open the door for him. Trying not to feel hurt, Roman got out, and watched as Jay drove off. That bumper sticker had come partially unstuck again, and it flapped in the wind as he went.

…

Roman was late to class that day, unsurprisingly. To add to his embarrassment, his English teacher, Ms. Dawerst, was the sort who locked the door after class started. So, Roman had to knock, wait for the teacher to open the door; and only then could he go in. There would be no slinking inside, no going unnoticed by any but his very least observant peers.

Not that Roman cared all that much about perfect attendance, but the whole charade seemed a bit much to him. There were some nerds—like his nemesis, that dramaturd in the theater program who was always shooting down his ideas—who would probably melt on the spot if they found themselves in his place. Roman was mostly just annoyed. A few of the houses had not shoveled their sidewalks, and the snow had soaked through the hems of his jeans. He just wanted to sit down and get on with the school day.

He heard a couple of kids snickering as the door opened, and Roman was met with his very unimpressed-looking English teacher.

“Ah, so you have decided to join us today. I’m out of packets, so you’ll have to share.”

She stepped back, tsk-ing with disapproval as he handed over his late slip. Roman shrugged nonchalantly and entered the room. Jay was there, sitting in the back corner as usual, but the seat beside him was already taken. Roman would have to take one of the empty seats at the front of the room.

At least this way he could read the board properly, he reflected, trying to stay upbeat as he sat down. (Roman should probably have had glasses, but he didn’t want to look like a nerd. Besides, his eyes were one of his best features.)

He scooted his desk nearer to that of the girl sitting beside him, and she moved her water bottle out of the way so that he could see the packet. Class started again, talking about poetry or something, but Roman was distracted. He kept glancing back towards the corner, towards Jay, who didn’t look up once. The envelope in his backpack felt like it was burning a hole through the fabric.

…

Jay ignored all of Roman’s texts that night, which hurt terribly, but Roman tried to pretend that everything was fine. Roman didn’t tell his parents or anyone else that anything was wrong. He just kept up his usual demeanor and talked excitedly with them about his future. It wasn’t hard, to be honest. Roman was a good actor, and besides, he was excited. He’d gotten into Saint Gabriel! How could he not be excited?

Jay would come around, he was sure of it.

The next day, Roman asked his parents if one of them would be willing to drive him to school. He claimed that Jay was busy that morning and wouldn’t be able to take him.

“Of course, mijo,” his mamá said. She looked a little concerned, probably because Roman almost never went to school with anyone but Jay. She and his dad left for work well before he had to leave, so if they drove Roman to school, he’d be there awkwardly early. But Jay hadn’t answered Roman when he asked if he was going to pick him up that day, so being awkwardly early was pretty much Roman’s only option.

Technically, he supposed, he could walk, but it was far. He’d be tired well before he got there, and his outfit would be absolutely ruined. Roman shuddered at the thought of showing up to class looking anything but his best. The day before had been bad enough, and that was only three blocks.

Ten minutes later, he and his mamá were outside, scraping ice off of her car. The car engine rumbled, the heat on high to try to help melt the ice. Roman’s backpack already sat inside, on the floor by the back seat.

They finished clearing the windows, finally, and got ready to leave. Roman had just placed his hand on the passenger side door handle when a horn honked, startling him. He turned around, and there was a black car at the end of the driveway. Roman couldn’t see the back of it from his angle, but he knew it was covered with band bumper stickers.

“Oh, he came after all!” Roman’s mamá said. “Do you want to ride with him instead?”

Roman took his hand off of the handle. He cast an apologetic look at his mamá, thanked her for the offer to drive him, and then practically ran to Jay’s car.

“You came,” he gasped, grinning, as he threw open the door.

“Of course I did,” Jay said, the corner of his mouth going up in a smile. “Now get in; let’s go.”

“We’re going to be super early,” Roman pointed out, already getting in the car.

“Yeah, well, I wanted to make sure I caught you,” Jared shrugged. He gestured at Roman’s mamá’s running car to prove his point.

They drove to school, talking about normal things. They didn’t bring up Saint Gabriel, or their argument the day before. Soon, though, they pulled up in the mostly empty school parking lot, and Jay put the car in park.

Roman looked around for his backpack and realized it was still in the other car. Whoops.

“Ro?” Jay said.

“Yeah?” Roman asked, stilling.

“So… I’ve been thinking. And, um, if you really want to go to this school—if you really want to leave me—I can’t stop you. I don’t want you to, obviously, but—”

“I’m not leaving you,” Roman protested. Jay hated to be interrupted, but Roman couldn’t help it.

Jay blew air out through his nose. “Well, I mean, it’s just—like, I want to be able to see you. And, you know, we’re both going to be busy with school soon, and I’m worried that you’re going to forget about me. There’ll be lots of cute guys at that college. How do I know they’re not going to try to take you from me?”

Roman frowned, hurt by the implication that he would ever cheat on Jay.

“Maybe we should just forget it. I should have known you’d want to be single in college.” Jay sulked, looking out the window. “I mean, why else would you pick a school so far away?”

“Wait, what?” Roman cried. “No! That’s not what this is about!”

“So you’re not leaving me?”

“No!” Roman floundered. “I’m not—I—if you—” He swallowed, feeling tears building. “If you really want… I can find another school.” It wouldn’t be the same, it wouldn’t give him as many opportunities, but he didn’t want to leave Jay. Roman realized how it must seem to his boyfriend, that he’d chosen a school that was so far away, that his boyfriend wasn’t going to. Jay probably thought he was trying to get away from him. But that wasn’t true at all! He had to know that!

Jay leaned back in his driver’s seat, looking up at the ceiling of his car.

“Fine,” Jay eventually said.

“…Fine?” Roman echoed.

“You can go,” he said. “I guess it’s kind of sh*tty of me to try to stop you. Just… don’t leave me, okay?”

“I won’t,” Roman promised.

Jay leaned over and kissed him. Roman blushed. They almost never kissed near the school. It wasn’t as if they were afraid that people at their high school wouldn’t accept them as a couple—at least half the theater program was in some way not straight and cis, for example—but Jay preferred to keep their relationship low-key. Roman was sure that a lot of the other students had figured out that they were together, but a lot of them probably thought that they were just close friends. (Not to imply that there was anything inferior about friendships compared to romantic relationships, of course; Roman and Jay just happened to be close friends and boyfriends.)

Roman leaned into the kiss, smiling against Jay’s lips. He assumed that this exception to their usual rule was because there were so few people at the high school so early in the morning. The parking lot was still nearly empty. Whatever the reason, he was happy to kiss his boyfriend back.

…

For a while after that, things seemed to be going well. Better than well, in fact. Things were absolutely wonderful.

Roman had accepted his place at the Saint Gabriel Academy of Fine Arts with his boyfriend’s blessing. He was keeping up his grades, he’d scored the starring role in the last play their theater department was putting on for the year, and he was happily with Jay. Roman’s parents were so proud of him and his achievements that they bought him a new car as a reward. It wasn’t his dream car: it had no rims of gold, no windshield of diamond; but it was new, and it was his.

Roman’s future was bright, glowing with stage lights and rich with the cheers of his adoring fans.

…

Unfortunately, by the time spring came around, things had begun to change.

Jay had seemed a bit different for a while. Roman supposed that it had started back when he accepted his place at Saint Gabriel. At first, Roman thought he might have been imagining it. Then, he thought that Jay might have been stressed about their upcoming graduation, and the fact that they were going to different schools. But the situation quickly spiraled.

As Roman’s senior year progressed, his boyfriend grew more and more controlling. He began demanding to know where Roman was at random times, reading his text messages, and being around him as much as possible. Even though he claimed to be fine with Roman going to Saint Gabriel, he made a point of often saying things like “I love how I get to be around you all the time,” or “I’m so happy when I’m with you,” and lamenting how miserable he’d be when Roman was gone. Words that seemed nice on the surface, but whose implied double meaning dug into him like barbs.

To Roman, at the time, it seemed like a sudden change. Roman couldn’t fathom why Jay would start acting like that out of nowhere, but it felt very out of character. It was only later, much later, that Roman began to consider that Jay might have always been that way. That it might have simply taken the threat of Roman leaving him—even if only to attend a different school—to bring those traits out of him enough that Roman could finally see it.

At first, Roman did his best to adapt to Jay’s demands, mostly because he didn’t want to ruin their relationship with less than three months left of their senior year. He saw Jay every day, half of his classes were with him, and Jay was just as involved with theater as he was. Plus, as strained as their relationship had become, Roman still loved him.

But as time went on, Roman’s boyfriend grew more and more overbearing, until finally, Roman had had enough. He told Jay in no uncertain terms that he needed to back off. They fought, and Roman broke up with him.

One small mercy was that they broke up on a Friday, so Roman didn’t have to see him the next day at school. Regardless, the next two days were filled with a lot of rather un-princely crying. His phone, stuck in a sock and shoved under a pile of clothes in his closet, kept blowing up with text messages—from Jay, of course—that he refused to let himself read, let alone answer.

He tried to tell himself that it was for the best. “Good riddance,” he murmured to himself, curled up on his bed in the dark, hugging his beloved stuffed bunny, Mrs. Fluffybottom. “Good riddance. I deserve better than that—than that jerk.”

He was too upset to come up with a better, more hurtful nickname.

There was a knock on the door.

“¿Mijo?” a voice called, slightly muffled.

Roman debated whether or not he wanted to answer. It wasn’t as if his mamá would be fooled into thinking he wasn’t here, but maybe she would think he was asleep. He wasn’t sure he could face having company at the moment.

“I have hot chocolate,” she tempted.

Roman sniffed, rubbing at one eye. He said nothing for a moment, but his mamá didn’t leave.

“With cinnamon?” he asked, wincing internally at how rough his voice sounded.

“¡Sí, claro!” his mamá called back, as if offended that there had ever been any doubt about it. Roman almost smiled. He’d always had cinnamon in his hot chocolate what his mamá made it, ever since he was a kid. He’d tried it once out of curiosity, and now it was the only way he liked the drink.

“Five minutes?”

“Five minutes,” she agreed. “Te espero abajo, cariño.”

Roman reluctantly sat up, rubbing away tear tracts with his sleeve. He dragged himself out of bed and padded down the hall to the bathroom, where he splashed cool water on his face, brushed his hair, and used a bit of makeup to hide some of the redness around his eyes. Five minutes later, he went to meet his mamá downstairs.

He expected to find her in the kitchen, and was surprised to instead see her sitting in the living room, a mug of hot chocolate held in her hands. Another mug sat on the coffee table. She patted the sofa cushion beside her.

Roman slunk into the room, rubbing his arm, and sat down next his mamá. He picked up his hot chocolate, welcoming the warm smell of cinnamon and chocolate wafting up from the ceramic mug, and took a sip. The drink was still hot, but not too hot to drink. Roman would happily take a delicious chocolate drink as an excuse not to talk, even if it had lured him from his sanctuary in the first place. His mamá knew that he had broken up with Jay—it was hard to hide, what with how upset he was—but she didn’t know the details.

His mamá took a sip of her own hot chocolate, then turned to Roman. Despite her hot chocolate mustache, he couldn’t help but look down towards the floor as if expecting to be scolded.

“Roman, you can talk to me,” she said. “I want to help. I know you and Jared—”

“Jay,” Roman corrected. He preferred to be called Jay. Roman wasn’t sure why that still mattered to him, but it did.

“I know you and Jay were very close. I’m sorry that it didn’t work out.”

Roman gripped his hot chocolate tighter, swallowing against the lump in his throat.

“If there is anything that I can do—?”

“Can we just sit?” Roman asked. “Just… sit here?”

“Of course, mijo,” she said. “Whatever you need.”

They sat together in the dark, drinking their cinnamon hot chocolate in a companionable silence.

“Where’s dad?” Roman asked after a while.

“He’s in bed already,” his mamá answered. “He has work early tomorrow.”

Roman nodded.

“I can take you to school tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Mamá,” Roman said.

They fell silent again after that, and they stayed in the living room well after they had both finished their hot chocolate, until finally Roman’s mamá decided that it was time for bed.

…

Roman was nervous for his return to school on Monday. So nervous, in fact, that he skipped English class. He wanted to avoid having to see Jay. He could get the notes from one of his friends, he told himself. He didn’t want to be around in case Jay decided to make a scene, or for the sheer awkwardness and pain of the situation. He was conveniently absent that day whenever Jay would be around, in fact.

Finally, at theater practice, Roman couldn’t avoid Jay any longer. He was playing the lead in the play. He couldn’t skip.

Jay was, of course, at the practice. He played a more minor character, but they had several scenes together. To Roman’s surprise, Jay almost completely ignored him. An outsider might have thought that nothing was wrong, and that they were simply cast mates working on a production together. Of course, the rest of the theater department knew better than that, and Roman got a lot of strange looks.

The only one who seemed completely oblivious was Roman’s nemesis, Logan. He was probably just happy that Roman wasn’t trying to take any creative licenses that day. They didn’t get into a single argument, which was not so much unusual as practically unheard of for them.

…

Jay more or less ignored Roman for a solid week after their breakup. By then, Roman had started trying to move past it. He started to focus more on getting ready for college, and told himself that maybe he could even find himself a new boyfriend on campus once he was settled in. Preferably not a fellow actor, if only to save himself from potential pain and awkwardness in the future. Having to see Jay so often after they had broken up, having to act like everything was fine, was a struggle.

Time passed, and the weekend when they’d perform their play was rapidly approaching. In addition to his excitement about his upcoming final high school performance, Roman was relieved. He’d be done with theater for the year, and it would be one less time of the day when he’d have to be near Jay. Even as the pressure to finish preparing the show grew, Roman found himself growing more at ease at the thought that his torture would soon be over.

So, naturally, the week before the performance, everything came crashing down.

[jimlingss]

Jungle Park [8]

Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 8.5 OR Chapter 9

➜ Words: 7.4k

➜ Genres: Fluff, Light Humour (?), Slice of Life, Workplace Romance!AU

➜ Summary: The equation is simple. Hoseok needs to hire someone. You need a job. Except like any actual equation, it’s not fucking simple at all! Not when you have to add the fact that he was forced to hire someone he doesn’t want in his office, he has little respect for your job in general, and oh yeah...once upon a time you might have—*CENSORED*.

To be fair — this wasn’t your idea.   You’re actually not that big on exercise, even if you do enjoy nature from time to time. Plus, the last time you actually worked out was probably back in high school. After you got hit in the face with a flying soccer ball, that was when you decided that sports, working out, and exercise in general weren’t for you.   You swear you can still see the indent of the soccer ball in your cheek if you squint enough in the mirror.   So the employees of the firm shouldn’t be so upset with you. If anything, they should sympathize since you’re hiding your true feelings and plastering a giant smile on your face to bring up the group morale. If they want someone to blame….they should blame Jimin.   But no one would blame sweet, kind Jimin. Not you. Not even Hoseok.   “I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Seulgi mutters while staring out the windows as the sceneries pass. She watches the bus’ shadow on the road and feels every bump of the wheels, the long vehicle shaking.   “Oh c’mon, guys!” Jimin stands up in front and turns around, leaning forward on the seat to look at everyone. It’s a pleasant sight to see all his employees in their casual clothes and not the suffocating professional dress code. “It’s the firm’s tradition — the annual team-building-slash-workplace-retreat! It’s going to be so much fun!”   There’s silence. No one seems impressed with the advertisement and you glance across the aisle to where Hoseok is sitting by himself, tapping on his phone, texting while glancing at his watch every so often. He doesn’t contribute to the conversation, preoccupied with work that he somehow prepared in advance during the bus ride. You’re sitting next to Jimin, having discussed the plans for the day.   “I should’ve just skipped or called in sick,” Sunyi murmurs and there’s a hum of agreement that ripples through the group.   “And I would’ve found out.” Jimin smiles happily and it’s creepy when it never quite reaches his crinkled eyes. Then, he sighs. “It’s just a hike! It’s a simple foot trail! And we have lunch for everyone!”   “There’s no trail,” Namjoon suddenly pipes up and everyone, except Hoseok, turns around in their seats to gawk at the legal assistant.   Jungkook’s eyes are wide. “What?”   “I did research. We’re going up a mountain. It’s really intense. They say it’s for experienced hikers.” Namjoon says these things while his expression remains impassive, irises dead, looking out the window like he’s accepted his fate and there’s no way he can fight it. He is utterly hopeless. “It’ll take four hours to go up and four hours to go down. Eight hours of hiking.”   “Dear lord.” Naul is wearing completely black sunglasses, so you aren’t able to read her expression. She leans her head back in the comfortable seat of the bus, maybe to take a nap and conserve her energy.   Jimin bores his eyes at you for help. Part of you doesn’t want anything to do with this, but it’s also your job to boost office morale. So, you stand up, turning around to them. “It’s not that bad! Jimin and I looked into it and we don’t need to go up to the peak of the mountain. The view is already beautiful half-way up and there’s a sightseeing place with picnic tables where we can eat! It’s going to be great! Imagine going to bed tonight and being able to say you climbed a mountain!”   Yoongi’s mouth twitches. “I want to go to bed tonight alive.”   “Can’t exercise, Min?” Sunyi pesters him from across her aisle.   He shifts to her. “Oh trust me, I burn enough calories every night, Lee.”   “What’s that supposed to mean?” The female lawyer lifts her brow.   And he merely smirks, the corner of his lips tugging. “You know exactly what I mean.”   Without waiting or letting another word be spoken, you step in before it spirals into another set of complaints. That and Yoongi is on the borderline of sexual harassment and the last thing you need is to host a private seminar for him...again. Hence, you clear your throat loudly and catch their attention. “We’ll take plenty of breaks and play plenty of team-building games! You won’t even realize time is passing.”   “I kind of need to pee,” Jungkook says.   Everyone ignores him.   “Good thing I decided to wear my hiking boots today.” Seokjin lifts his food much to Namjoon’s dismay who is sitting beside him and now has his friend’s dirty shoe in his lap. “It’s new.”   “I doubt that,” Namjoon bites back even when Seokjin dramatically gasps.   “How intense is this?!” Lisa whirls herself around in hysterics, asking Namjoon instead of you and Jimin, like she trusts the prepared paralegal more than the people who organized this event. She’s right. “I’m wearing sandals!”   Inyoung is full of concern. “I only brought a thin jacket with me.”   “I just got my hair done,” Seulgi adds to the mob of complaints.   “My face is too handsome to be mauled by a bear or pack of wolves,” Jin says for no reason, somehow twisting people’s legitimate worries into a compliment for himself. Namjoon gives him an indignant look.   “Everyone is fine in what they’re wearing!” Jimin attempts to placate his fellow employees, using his cheerful and kind aura to his advantage. “And no bears or wolves are going to maul anyone here.”   For a moment, you wonder what the quiet bus driver thinks of all of this. “Wait,” Dahyun suddenly sits straight, head popping up from the seat in front of her that was blocking her face. “What if we get lost?”   Namjoon turns and pushes up his glasses on the bridge of his nose. “Don’t worry, I read a survival guide once in high school.”   “And that’s why you had no friends,” Seokjin adds on and Yoongi snickers. The rest ignore him, including Namjoon himself.   “We would need to start a fire for help and secure a water supply.” At least it’s good to know who the leader would be if this little adventure turned to shit. You don’t think Hoseok and Jimin are very good in the wilderness, even if they’re spectacular in court and the judicial system.   “And then a food supply,” Yoongi interjects. “We’ll have to start choosing who to eat. I vote Sunyi.”   “Thanks, fucker.” The girl in question scoffs. “I vote Yoongi.”   “Okay, realistically, we need to look at body fat contents so the rest of us can get the most calories out of it. The most bang for your buck. It would probably take three nights before we make our first sacrifice and roast them over the fire,” Namjoon announces like he’s thought about this for a long time and has an entire list of who to eat in a very specific order. “I believe Jungkook would be the best choice.”   Jungkook’s doe eyes nearly fall out his sockets. “W-What?”   “Do we just roast him or do we make them into a stew?” Seokjin genuinely asks.   “This is disgusting!” Lisa screams before Namjoon can reply.   Seulgi is equally appalled. “What’s wrong with you?!”   “Okay!” Jimin tries to get control of the group. “Okay, okay!”   “No one is going to eat anyone!” you shout loudly, throwing it out there for good measure like it wasn’t obvious in the first place. “Cannibalism is definitely against company policy! Right?”   “Yes!” Jimin exclaims after exchanging a look with you since there really isn’t anything about cannibalism in the firm’s policy. Though it doesn’t take much effort to be on the same page. “You will get fired if you eat each other.”   “I don’t think it would matter at that point if we keep our jobs or not,” Naul murmurs from the corner of her red lips and you still don’t know if her eyes are closed or not with her dark sunglasses. Frankly, you’re surprised she was listening to all this nonsense.   Yoongi agrees. “It’s about survival.”   “Hey, can someone pass the sunscreen?” Dahyun hands it over to Inyoung, interrupting the conversation with something more important.   Yoongi nabs every opportunity he has and once again, leans over to bother the living daylights out of Sunyi. “Need me to apply some to your back?”   “I will bite your fingers off,” she spits at him.   “That’s hot.”   “Y/N!” The lawyer raises her hand in the air, childishly tattling to you and in front of everyone else. Yoongi laughs heartily and you’ve never seen him more joyful. It’s kind of funny how he finds such bliss in simple things….which is bothering Sunyi to death. “I’d like to file an official harassment complaint immediately.”   “Yoongi.” You use your authoritative voice. “Stop it.”   “Got it,” he responds.   Problem solved.   “Cut it out, you two,” Jimin sighs and collects his composure again. He scans the premise and everyone’s faces. “Look everyone, whether you like it or not, we’re going on this hike. So, you can go grumbling with a frown or you can go with a smile. It’s up to you.”   It’s finally quiet for a moment as if everyone is accepting the circumstances and how they got here. Except, Taehyung breaks the peaceful silence with a thought. “Is it bad I didn’t bring any water with me?”   //   It’s surprisingly quite nice outside. The weather is not too hot or cold, rather mild with a warm breeze that kisses against your cheeks every so often. There’s not many people at the base of the mountain and there’s somewhat of a dirt path to take. At least it’s not in the middle of nowhere where you’d actually have to eat Jungkook if things become dire enough. Even if something happened, there would be a rescue search. Probably.   There’s a sign at the entrance, a cafe and gift shop off to the side, and two volunteers that give you a brochure on the history and landscape of the area. Everyone’s enjoying themselves for the first ten minutes before setting out, taking bathroom breaks (which Jungkook runs to) and bringing up their blood sugar by having snacks. In the meanwhile…   “I’ll take that.”   Jimin steals Hoseok’s phone right out of his grasps. “Wait. I’m almost done. I’m finishing a draft that I need to submit on Monday. I’m serious. Jimin!”   It’s a bit odd to see the usually intimidating lawyer at a loss and trying to convince his partner, but you’re also aware of the rumours that Jimin can be much more frightening than Hoseok.   “I’m going to lose my shit,” he warns in a low tone, out of earshot distance from everyone else. “What’s the name of our firm?”   “Are you serious?”   “Answer me.”   “Jung and Park.”   “Exactly.” Jimin looks proud and smiles. “It’s you and I. So we gotta both be part of this, alright? You are a partner of this firm, just as much as I am. Let me remind you of one very important quote...we’re all in this together.”   “Please don’t break out into song,” Hoseok pleads.   Jimin simply pockets his best friend’s mobile device in his own pocket. “It’s not like you’ll even have reception up there. Plus, you can always do this work later. And let’s be honest, you’ll never be done. There’s always work to do.”   “Fine, fine.” He lifts his hands, palm facing forward for mercy. “I’ll be part of this.”   “Good.”   Jung Hoseok is left kicking pebbles underneath his feet, bored and quietly sulking. From a distance, you watch in amusement, finding it hilarious that the workaholic was ripped away from his work like a child was taken of their toy. His lips are downturned, slightly pouted, and you’re about to approach when suddenly the heavy cooler of sub sandwiches is taken from your hands.   “Is this our lunch?” Jungkook asks with a curious look, holding the heavy object with one arm easily and swings it like it doesn’t weigh at least twenty five pounds.   “Yeah.” You reach out to take it back. “No one’s allowed to eat them yet.”   “Oh, I know.” The student lawyer stares at you blankly. “But it’s heavy, right?” And that’s when you realize that he’s carrying it to help you. He’s the only one who offered and he didn’t even need to be asked. You’re caught off guard by his thoughtfulness, but the boy doesn’t seem to think it’s a big deal. Instead, he glimpses at the other tote you’re carrying. “Is that our games?”   “It is. Jimin was pretty adamant about bringing twister.” You decide to let him in on a little secret with a smile and shrug. “I have no idea why or how’d we even play.”   “If we played twister on the mountain, Jin would probably fall off the cliff and die,” he jokes with a laugh. “I don’t think he has insurance coverage on that.”   “Hey!” Seokjin turns around, having been bantering with Namjoon if the hat in front of the gift shop is ugly or not. It’s ugly. “Are you talking trash about me, son?!”   “No!” He speaks up.   You and Jungkook glance at each other, exchanging laughs and cheesy smiles. All in the while, none of you realize that Hoseok is glaring holes on the side of your head.   //   The workplace hiking retreat is Jimin’s special event. He takes the honours of leading the way and holding the map, making sure everyone is going in the right direction while hyping up the line of employees that are trailing after him. You’re left at the very back, making sure that no one (Yoongi) tries to book it in the opposite direction and run away — apparently he tried that one year. But Sunyi assures you she’s got tight reins on him and he’ll be walking all the way up, to which he scowled at and looked like he was about to bite the girl’s head off.   Jungkook waits and walks with you. He decreases his usual large strides for you, slowing down to synchronize your shuffling steps together. You didn’t think you’d be talking to him this much since he always seemed shy with little to say. But here you are, chatting away like old friends and the two of you are unable to stop taking, hitting it off relatively well.   “Taehyung might seem that way, but he’s a great mentor.”   “That’s good.” Now that you think about it, Jungkook never gossips or complains about anyone. He always has something nice to say about each person and you can tell he means it with the sparkling of his big eyes. He gawks at Taehyung who’s ahead with admiration...though you’re not sure if he’s objectively a good role model. “I’m glad you’re not having a hard time.”   “Sometimes it’s difficult. I think I’m still adjusting to the job and there’s a lot I don’t know.” His smooth voice drops down into a whisper. “But I do know that he’s saved me from getting fired by Hoseok a few times.”   You giggle and within ten minutes, somehow the conversation that centered around the job and his current health state morphs to things that have nothing to do about the office. “I can’t believe you pour milk before your cereal. Who even are you?”   “Well, I want a certain amount of milk in my bowl,” the younger male explains with wild gestures of his one hand, attempting to defend himself. “If I put cereal in it first, I’m not sure how much milk there actually is.”   “You just eyeball it. It isn’t that difficult.”   “No, trust me, it’s easier when you pour milk in the bowl first and then the cereal.”   “I don’t even eat cereal.”   Jeon Jungkook gasps out loud like you just offended twenty generations of his family. “What?!”   “Okay.” You hold back several laughs. “Don’t sue me.”   “I think I might have to.” He giggles as well, laughing at how ridiculous this debate is. But the student-at-law is persistent in nature and doesn’t back down. “How can you not like cereal? It’s the best breakfast food ever!”   “It’s bland,” you counter.   “What kind of cereal have you been eating?!” Jin’s dramatics must’ve infected him and you enjoy the theatrics of his arguments. The cool breeze whisks through your hair, the sunshine illuminating the surroundings of pine trees and the dirt path up the incline. But the pair of you don’t admire the sceneries or the premise when you’re busy looking at each other. “Have you ever tried the ones with dried fruit? Like there are cereals with dried strawberries in them.”   “Oh yeah, I love that, but I always end up picking out the strawberries to eat them and then I’m just left with the frosted cereal left.”   He shakes his head. “I should take you to this place I know. It’s a cereal restaurant. They have all kinds of cereal and all kinds of milk and it’s glorious.”   “A cereal restaurant?” Your brows shoot up in skepticism.   “Yeah!” he grins in enthusiasm. “Have you ever heard of it?”   “No, I haven’t.”   “It’s so good! I could take—”   “Is there a water bottle in there, Kook?” There’s an interruption that doesn’t come from you nor Jungkook. You turn and Hoseok’s in front of you both, having stopped without the rest of the group realizing and going on ahead. Jungkook doesn’t waste any time, putting down the cooler and opening it.   “Didn’t you bring your own?” you ask in surprise since it came out of nowhere.   “I finished it.”   “Already?!” An entire water bottle this earlier on? You wonder how thirsty he might’ve been or if he was dehydrated.   The lawyer merely cocks his head to one side. “Is that a problem?”   “Only if you have to pee later.”   Jungkook hands him the new bottle and he uncaps it, taking another sip before sticking it in his black tracksuit jacket, somehow fitting the entire thing in the pocket. “Thanks.”   Part of you expects him to be on his way, but for some reason Hoseok sticks around, on your other side and joins your walk. It’s not like you mind, but it seems like Jungkook is uncomfortable that his boss is right there and conversations of cereal-first-or-milk-first, pineapple-pizza-or-not, or if-it’s-okay-to-pee-in-the-shower, they all cease to exist.   You clear your throat, glaring at Hoseok from the corner of your eye. It’s not everyday that you get to chat with Jungkook or get to know him better or get to the deeper concerns, and Hoseok was really ruining this for you. Yet, he remains undeterred. Maybe he’s oblivious to your signals or he’s straight out ignoring them. You’re not too sure.   But for the next ten minutes, the three of you walk in complete silence.   You use the opportunity to finally take in the nature. There are trees that stretch beyond the horizon, greenery and gaps of fields seen in your vision. The fresh scent of earth and grass heals your lungs from the metropolis’ pollution. It’s quite pleasant to be away from gas exhaust and the smog. When you’re away from the city, highways of cars and trucks, it’s quiet and peaceful. You can hear chickadee birds, rabbits hopping, buzzing of wildlife.   Eventually, Jimin stops everyone at the first checkpoint.   “Okay, gather up, everyone!” He secures his round, taupe hat that reminds you of an explorer. You suppose this is the most adventure Jimin ever gets when he’s away from the concrete jungle. “I hope the half-hour trip hasn’t been too brutal but it’s time for our first set of team building games!”   “What is it?” Yoongi asks right off the bat to not waste any more time.   “Trust falls!” Jimin announces with a half-moon smile. “On the edge of this cliff.”   “.....”   “I’m joking!” The lawyer is the only one who laughs. “We’re playing charades.”   Dahyun raises her hand and he calls on her. “How is this supposed to contribute to team building?”   “Fantastic question! It’s team building because you have to work together to answer correctly and you’re also reading body language which helps with everything. Y/N, sketchbook, please.”   You immediately dig for the prepared sketchbook with words written inside of them and you hand it to the lawyer who nods in appreciation. He continues much to the chagrin of the others. “And now I will divide the entire group into two. Right...there. Yes, now pretend there’s an imaginary line. You guys are team one.” He turns towards your direction. “And you are team two. Team one goes first. One at a time, someone will face me and act it out and the rest of you face away from me and guess. No cheating. No speaking for the person acting. Ready?”   You sit on the sidelines, Jimin having enough mercy to let you take a break. Jungkook was divided on team one and you watch the game go on as Hoseok stands beside you.   “You know,” he speaks up, “Jungkook is like eight years younger than you.”   “So?” You shift to him with a lifted eyebrow, suddenly annoyed with what he might or might not be implying. “What does that have to do with anything, Jung Hoseok? What are you trying to say?”   “N-nothing. Never mind.” He looks away from you, sighing. “...I’m sorry.”   In the background, Sunyi is flapping her arms wildly and Yoongi is throwing out guesses without letting anyone else guess, saying absurd things like ‘synchronized swimming’, ‘an idiot’, ‘someone sad with no love life’. She gets frustrated and screams at him, “I’M A BIRD!”   Jimin docks a point for cheating.   “What's the matter?”   “Nothing.”   “Well, there’s obviously something,” you persist while staring at Hoseok’s profile. He’s still sulking and you don’t understand what he’s trying to say. “Is it because Jimin took away your phone? I can get him to give it back to you. It isn’t that big of an issue.”   “No.” A staggering exhale spills from the seams of his lips. “That’s not it. It’s nothing, okay?”   You decide to back off his case. “Alright.”   Seokjin is up for acting now and he makes a rectangle shape with his hands. Yoongi guesses ‘circle’ to add to his frustration and Sunyi physically shoves Yoongi to get him to stop. Jin pretends to put the rectangle shape on an imaginary wall and then he points to his eyebrows and then makes an ‘x’ shape with his arms.   Everyone is stumped. He does it again. No answers.   Seokjin stops his foot and cries out, “I want a new team!”   The word is ‘Mona Lisa’.   The game is probably the reverse of team building. It’s ripping friendships apart.   But you can’t focus on watching when there’s a thick, smothering silence between you and the man standing beside you. No one lets a syllable slip or makes a sound. Your lips are sealed tight and you force yourself not to gawk at him. It’s terribly awkward, but you refuse to address it.   “I’m not upset or mad or anything.”   Hoseok is the first to step forward and you finally turn to him. “I never said anything.”   “You get quiet when you think I’m angry.”   “Psh.” The corner of your mouth pulls. “Who said?”   “No one. I just noticed.” He gazes into your eyes and softens his own. The other employees are preoccupied in either participating or observing and laughing. Behind them, it’s just you and him, a bubble of privacy that is uninterrupted. “I’m sorry for being an asshole. Maybe it’s the outdoors affecting me…”   “I doubt that.” You give a tiny laugh. “You love nature.”   “Who said?” Now he’s the one asking and his expression remains blank, frowning slightly.   “Uh...Jimin.” You nod. “He told me about it.”   “Yeah, I’ve always wanted a house with a massive backyard. I would’ve set up the office in the woods if it were possible.”   “Except, there are too many mosquitoes.”   “Yup.” He gives one of the brightest smiles, rival to the sun itself. The atmosphere has returned back to normal, one where you feel like you’re able to joke around just a little bit with him. “That’s the only issue. The mosquitoes.”   When team one is done, it’s time for your own team to go. Since you were the one who wrote all the words in the sketchbook, you don’t get to participate. You’re left holding the sketchbook, but you don’t mind too much when Namjoon is pointing straight up and doing jazz hands and stomping around and people are guessing sun and clouds, but never outer space.   It’s especially hilarious to watch Hoseok reluctantly participate. He holds both his hands in tiny circle shapes and begins to thrust them back and forth towards his open mouth, interchanging his hands. Everyone pales and becomes horrified at the suggestive movements. On the other hand, Jimin bursts out laughing, so hard that his body folds in half and he’s clutching his stomach, unable to be a referee and you’re worried he might not watch where he’s going and fall off the cliff.   The word is ‘flossing’.   In the end, Hoseok is the one who gets most into the game. He’s screaming and pointing and howling when someone gets close, causing the team to be pressured to get it right. He also makes wild guesses, enthusiastically and eagerly like he’s a youthful twenty-year old again.   “Alright guys! That was great. Team one has six points and team two is in the lead with ten! Next set of games, we’ll be mixing up the teams, so don’t get too comfortable.”   Dahyun raises her hand and he calls on her. “But then how will you keep track of points?”   “Fantastic question. I’ll wing it.” Before anyone can question him, he spins on his toes and begins pointing off into the distance, explaining where they’re heading and telling his employees to enjoy the beautiful scenery.   Jungkook ends up getting wrangled in by Taehyung, joining the banter with him, Namjoon, and Inyoung. He’s still holding onto the cooler and instead, you’re accompanied by Hoseok who stays by your side.   “What is that?” He peeks inside the tote you’re carrying.   “Puzzles.” And at the expression he gives you, you give one in return that conveys ‘Jimin organized this, not me’. He ends up taking the bag, not to examine further, but to—   Actually....you’re not sure why he takes it, but you don’t even think twice about it. All you know is that the muscles in your shoulder aren’t so tense anymore.   As groups and clusters of employees are chatting and hiking, Naul who was talking to Jimin finally tugs down her black sunglasses and her jaw drops. “Oh my god.”   They stop and the others skid to a halt before they bump into each other. You exchange expressions with Hoseok, not sure what’s going on before Lisa gasps, “It’s BTS.”   “What?”   “What?!”   You look past the crowd to see another group heading straight down the mountain, parallel to you, marching in an orderly line with long sticks in their hands. They look like professional hikers with full on backpacks and hats and they’re all smiling at each other like there’s no other place they’d rather be. There’s a ripple of quiet that passes through the people that make Jung and Park.   “Who’s BTS?” You lean over to Hoseok, whispering lowly.   “Big. Top. Solicitors,” he tells you in a spiteful manner. “They’re one of the biggest firms in the city and they have multiple departments in all sorts of things. So, they deal with tax law, criminal, personal injury and...of course….family law. They’re our biggest competitors.”   “Oh. I applied to work there. They even gave me an interview.” You remember and you quickly retract when Hoseok stares. “But they never called me back. A loss for them, right?”   You can recall it well. Their office building was magnificent and seemed straight of what you would expect in a high-budget television show. If you were nervous for the interview at Jung and Park, you were swimming in your sweat for the interview at BTS. In that way, you’re glad you never got a call back. You’re sure you would have never felt comfortable at that job.   By the time Hoseok is finished explaining and your little anecdote is given, they’ve closed the gap and realized who it was that faced them. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Jung and Park.”   “What are you doing here, Jackson?” Jimin has a standoff with the partner of the opposing firm. It reminds you of a gun showdown from back in the day when two big names were on the same turf and fought to become dominant.   “We’re having an extended weekend for our employees,” he says with a smirk. The man is handsome and you wonder how he can climb an entire mountain and look like that. Even his jacket is crisp. If he was wearing a fitted, black suit, you’re sure Lisa who’s purposely looking away at the moment would piss herself, you included. “You’re only starting now? Guess you were trying to avoid that afternoon sun, huh?”   The condescending tone has Jimin’s eyes narrowing. “Why does it matter to you?”   “It doesn’t.” The male rolls his shoulders and the employees behind him seem to be staring daggers into your soul. “It’s just that we started at six in the morning and we made it all the way up to the peak. We even walked through lunch and now I’m treating everyone to an Italian restaurant. It’s nothing. But it’s pretty cute that you’re doing this too.”   “That’s actually really nice that you’re treating your employees.” Jimin smiles and it never quite reaches his eyes. “You must be pretty comfortable even after losing the Yoo case.”   A muscle in Jackson’s cheek twitches and had you not been staring, you might’ve missed it. “Don’t worry, we’re still comfortable. Unlike you, losing one case won’t hurt us. We have plenty more cases to work on.”   Satisfied, he brushes past him and walks down. It reminds you of petty high school movies where the crowd of popular kids would make fun of the underdogs. It’s a bit funny to see grown adults acting in such childish manners, but you don’t say anything. Instead, Jackson stops and turns to Hoseok once before going on his way. “You might have to pick up the pace, Jung. If you want to make it there before the sun goes down.”   “See you in court on Tuesday, Wang.”   When they’ve followed the curve of the mountain and disappear from sight, everyone is on their way again. But the steps seem slower, shuffling more against the gravel. Inyoung is the first to begin speaking again. “Did they really make it up and down in seven hours?”   “Only regular hikers make that amount of time.” Namjoon makes an objective statement, disregarding his own bias. “It’s pretty impressive.”   “Nothing’s impressive about them,” Sunyi mutters and it’s loud and clear. “I’d rather work for a smaller firm that actually cares about me than a larger firm who thinks I’m just one of their chess pieces.”   Taehyung lifts his head, having watched the dirt. “Did we never hear what happened to Wang Kwangsoo? Did he even go to court?”   “No, the lawsuit got buried and then he retired. He’s probably at some vacation villa right now living it up.” Yoongi remains impassive, but you can see the irritation in his expression, and a few others scoff when they’re reminded. “No one knows what happened to the victims, if they were paid or if something happened to them.”   Inyoung shakes her head. “That’s…”   “Disgusting,” Naul finishes.   “It’s not like we can prosecute him,” Hoseok says bleakley, but you know it’s from good intention. There's no point of being furious or having your blood pressure spike for someone who doesn’t deserve it in the least bit. “Take your anger and use it on cases where we can actually win. That’s the least we can do.”   “Yeah.” Sunyi nods in agreement and there’s a moment of silence before her voice continues in a hesitant murmur. “You know…..he might be a piece of shit…..but his son is really something else.”   “Right?!” Lisa whirls her head over. “That boy is one fine feast.”   “Oh my god.” Seokjin rolls his eyes. “Are you guys serious? Look at me! I’m much more handsome than Jackson.”   “I heard he’s running the firm a lot differently than his dad,” Seulgi pipes up and everyone else ignores Seokjin’s woes. “Like they recently had a huge purge and a bunch of people that were working under his dad got fired. He’s remodeling the entire hierarchy.”   “Don’t let appearances deceive you,” Naul warns. “We never know what’s really going on. But….I agree. He seems a lot better than his disgusting father. Again, we’re comparing him at a very low bar here.”   Even with Naul pointing out that the standard is low, Lisa sighs wistfully. “Kind, rich, handsome. A dream, right?”   “And they hiked like professionals.” Namjoon’s still hung up on it much to the dismay and surprise of others.   Jin lifts an eyebrow. “Who cares?”   “They beat the estimated time!” He stresses with wild gestures. “It’s really impressive, you just don’t understand. They made it all the way up and down. Only real hikers that go on the regular can do that.”   Throughout the entire conversation, Jimin remains unusually quiet. You’re about to pick up the pace to meet him and check to see if he’s okay. But then he turns around and stops. Dahyun asks if this was the second checkpoint and you find it odd that he would stop to do an activity in the middle of the dirt road like this. “Good question like always, Dahyun. Yes, this is our next activity.”   You’re about the pull out the puzzles—   “Everyone take a look at who you’re standing closest to. That’s going to be your buddy.”   You glance beside you and Hoseok’s staring right at you. Everyone quickly links up. Dahyun with Lisa, Sunyi and Yoongi glaring holes into each other’s skulls, Jin and Namjoon naturally beside one another, Taehyung that throws his arm around Jungkook’s, and Naul that joins up with Inyoung.   Jimin grins. “From now on, this is a race. First pair up the mountain wins.”   “Wait.” Lisa freezes. “What?!”   You’re as shocked as the receptionist is and you step up with a frown. “Jimin, this isn’t a part of—”   “It is now!” There’s a competitive fire that ignites behind his brown irises. Ideas of cooperation and team building have been thrown out the window. Jackson must’ve gotten to him. “Don’t you want to beat the record? I know we can do it!”   There’s an automatic sea of complaints, people threatening to just turn around and go home while others consider just sitting on the side of the road until someone comes to their rescue.   “That’s too far!” Sunyi points out one of the handful of problems.   “Fine! We’ll race to the halfway point and stop for lunch!” Jimin quickly spits it out before there are more protests, and then he scrambles for additional incentives. “First one up to the halfway point gets two more vacation days and a thousand dollar bonus.”   “What?” Jin’s jaw goes slack.   Taehyung’s already grinning. “What?!”   Hoseok throws it out there— “I didn’t agree to this!”   “Don’t worry,” Jimin reassures his partner. “I’m going to win and no one will get it. Ready, set, go!”   It’s completely spontaneous and chaos breaks loose. Jimin grabs Seulgi, the closest person to him and who’s automatically his buddy, and she screams when he begins sprinting up the steep incline of the mountain.   “Let’s go, Jeon!” Taehyung also begins running after a few beats and Jungkook’s doe eyes are large in surprise, but when his legs begin to run, he beats his mentor in sheer speed while he’s miraculously still holding onto the cooler. You wonder if he did track and field back in the day or was a competitor for some kind of Olympic game.   “I need that bonus!” Naul dashes off as well and Inyoung struggles. Lisa abandons her friends to book it in her thin sandals while hollering something about those vacation days.   “Namjoon!” Seokjin yells behind his shoulder. “Move your slow ass!”   Yoongi and Sunyi put away their rivalry for a moment, the most serious and cooperative you’ve ever seen from both of them. They whip their bodies through the air without saying more than a word to each other and after a while, Yoongi snatches Sunyi’s hand, helping her run faster or launching her forward, you’re not too sure. All you know is that you’re soon left in the dust.   This is the most enthusiastic you’ve seen everyone all day. You can’t help but smile, even if it’s all a bit ridiculous and the plans have been spoiled. It’s kind of nice to see everyone so involved and eager to make it. Maybe you and Jimin should’ve thought about incentives, aside from lunch, from the beginning.   “Are we going to run?” You turn to Hoseok who is stuck in his spot like a statue with his mouth wide open, wholly stunned at Jimin’s antics. “....no one’s supposed to get a thousand dollars, right?”   “You’re right.”   And that’s how the both of you begin jogging. It’s a steady speed, but it’s your strategy to win. Running out of energy is the last thing you want, so you try your best to maintain a stable speed. Once in a while, you can hear Hoseok swearing underneath his breath and you have to repress some laughter. Higher, higher, higher. On your way up, you run into Seokjin and Namjoon who are slugging along, dragging their heavy legs. They bicker about why the other person can’t keep running, yet each is out of breath and out of shape. You also find Inyoung and Dahyun who have been abandoned by their partners and are walking together.   Eventually, after twenty minutes of jogging and passing by Lisa and Naul as well, Hoseok and you decide to take a break. Well...more like your lungs were dying and you were gasping for breath and something internally in your intestines wasn’t feeling well and Hoseok took one glimpse at you and stopped.   “I can’t believe he did this,” Hoseok sits on the ground, leaning back and tipping back his head to let the uncapped water bottle bring a cool stream to his lips. His jawline is sharp, sweat dripping off his black hair and you wonder how the hell it’s so unfair he looks this good drinking water. But you quickly shake the thought away, trying to chug your own water bottle and replenish your system.   “We still have three more pairs to beat.” You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. “Jimin and Seulgi, Sunyi and Yoongi, and Taehyung and Jungkook.” And it astonishes you that Jungkook is still carrying the entire cooler with him while sprinting like Usain Bolt. What kind of monster was he?   Hoseok grins, letting out an exasperated ‘yeah’ while nodding tiredly. He runs a hand through his hair, slicking it back and out of his eyes. “If he doesn’t win, I’m going to have some serious problems.”   After another moment, finally rehydrated and rested, you tear your eyes away from the vivid azure shade of the sky towards him. “Ready to go again?”   “Ready if you are.” He smiles and you help him to his feet, letting go of his hand just as quickly. “We can walk for a bit to build that energy up again before we start jogging.”   “Sounds good.” You’re thankful since you don’t know if you can keep up with him.   “It’s been a long time since I exercised like this,” he muses while your steps naturally sync together.   “Same here.” You peek at the lawyer. “Are you okay though?”   “I’m fine.” He meets your eyes. “Why?”   “You’re afraid of heights, right?” From the distance, the once large pine trees appear more like broccoli and you’re getting closer and closer to the clouds. Luckily, the breeze is cool and the sun isn’t beating down on you like earlier. But as pretty as the scenery and how pleasant the weather is, it’s still a far way down. Off the dirt and stones you’re walking on is a steep drop. You’re certain the sharp rocks would puncture your body like a sword if you fell.   “Yeah,” he murmurs thoughtfully, “I am.”   You can’t help but tease him further. “You’re also afraid of spiders, ants, ladybugs, moths, any kind of bug really, and roller coasters and snakes—”   “Okay, that’s enough.” He playfully glares at you, lips pouty and cute.   “It’s okay.” You comfort him and fail to hide your wide smile. “No one has to know you’re a scaredy cat. Your secret is safe with me.”   “I am not a scaredy cat.” Hoseok grins, lips sort of mimicking a heart shape, his presence radiant like the sunshine itself. “I’m the bravest.”   Suddenly, a sickening wave overcomes your body. “OH MY GOD!” A blood-curdling shriek rips from your throat and you point in the distance, at a loss for words.   “WHAT?”   And you laugh like crazy when he actually physically jumps and turns around. Jung Hoseok shifts back around to you, absolutely unimpressed with your little prank. “Don’t do that! I’m serious!”   “I didn’t know you would fall for it!”   “I will sue you for causing me mental trauma and distress.”   “Go ahead,” you egg him on. “It’s not like I have money to give you monetary compensation.”   You’re still giggling, tears accumulating in your eyes and choking out the remaining giggles. Your face aches from smiling so much and you most certainly don’t pay attention when the terrain becomes rockier, less dirt and more of tiny pebbles.   All at once, your left foot loses traction.   You feel your body slipping forward without permission, knees buckling, as if you’re on ice, ready to tumble and roll off the edge. But at the speed of light, Hoseok grabs your arm, stabilizing you and saving you from death. You look up at him, laughter dying off your lips. He’s held you tight, but still gentle like he’s afraid of squeezing too hard.   And the man gazes into your eyes.   “Watch where you’re going, stupid,” he murmurs after a moment of complete silence.   “Stupid?” You’re baffled, unable to help the pout that takes over your face.   Hoseok lets go of you and you both resume walking. He ganders off at the scenery and the breeze cards through his locks, stands of dark hair moving past his brows. You can’t resist tearing your eyes away to anything else but him. The way he persists, the way he helped you without a moment’s breath, like it was a reflex, like it’s so entirely casual for him to react that way.   Why—   Your thoughts are interrupted when Hoseok suddenly lurches forward. His shoe is caught on a stick and he nearly eats a mouthful of dirt. But his arms flail like a tightrope walker and he stumbles forward four steps, miraculously catching balance. You laugh loudly.   So much for being a hero.   Hoseok immediately turns to you, embarrassed and cheeks burning red when he was trying so hard to look cool. You grin, reaching down and taking his hand. Your fingertips brushing lightly on his until he uncurls them and lets you slip your hand into his.   There’s no reason, only because…   “It’s safer. Wouldn’t want you to take a fall and be injured. I don’t think Jung and Park can run without you.”   He grumbles, but the man walks closer to you. “You’d become a murder suspect.”   You scoff. “No, I’d be a witness.”   “Not with the evidence stacked up against you like this. They’d think you pushed me.”   “Keep it up and I’ll actually push you,” you threaten him and he laughs with another one of those massive grins.   Both your palms are clasped together, his down-facing and yours up. The heat of his palm presses on yours, arms moving together as you continue the upward trek. You hope he can’t feel how nervous you are or how you’ve become hyper-conscious of his presence. But it’s odd.   Behind innocent anxiousness, there’s a fuzzy feeling that you haven’t experienced for years now. It makes you feel at peace and panicked at the same time. But the way you hold his hand seeks and gives comfort.   “Then I’ll take you down with me.”   Hoseok holds your hand tightly and even gives it a squeeze.   You wonder if it’s a mistake to want this to last forever.

[ayonde]

My journey beyond MBA into Canada (Blog#10)

After graduation we went to Orlando to see Disney/Universal. That trip burned a hole in my pocket. Washington DC was the last leg and luckily the museums in DC are free to public unlike New York. We survived on McDonald's for couple of days as I simply ran out of money.

Signing bonus was a new concept. I had assumed that I would get that money the moment I accept the offer letter. Only to realize that I would actually get it 45 days after joining. I was running dangerously low on cash so I requested Cartesian to give me 50% of my signing bonus upfront which they trustingly did.

Location: Cartesian also gave me options for my location. Boston was too far up north and cold. Philadelphia was tough. New York was costly. Washington DC has nice summer and I was familiar with Northern Virginia due to its proximity to Williamsburg. So I selected DC.

My friend Vipul helped me get a lease at his apartment complex in Herndon, VA. My wife joined me in US to join me while rest of my family left for India. Doing grocery was a problem. Walking to the store and carrying big bags was too laborious. Ever since I drove Chris’s car I wanted to buy a Subaru Forester but as I had no credit history and my income hasn’t come yet no one was ready to give me auto loan. I approached Bank of America but they declined – even though I showed my offer letter with salary information they wouldn’t lend me a single cent unless I agree for 20% APR.

Once again, Vipul introduced me to Digital Federal Credit Union (DCU). DCU gave me the full $20,000 at competitive 2.29% APR. I searched online to shortlist few cars. Hilariously changed 3 buses and a Metro with my wife and traveled to Manassas, VA to buy my Forester. Now I could reach places within minutes – such a big relief!

2015: Luckily my first project was with Time Warner Cable and their office was a mile away from my apartment. I would come back home to have lunch or walk to office. 

Life was good. 

It became better as I got news from Larry that USCIS cleared my RFE and my H1-B was approved. Huge sigh of relief! The H1-B came into effect in October. I noticed that my take home pay decreased as now I had to pay into Social Security and Medicare.

I felt that this system was unfair. As foreign national working in US I was a non-resident alien but for tax purposes I was a resident alien. I could not benefit from SSN or Medicare but I had to contribute into those programs. Additionally, every time I exit US, I had to get my passport stamped and answer lot of questions at port of entry. Cartesian also had to file paperwork to USCIS whenever I changed apartments as my address of residence was listed in my petition.

2016: Having money felt great but my wife couldn’t work in US. We thought of starting a family but I wanted her to earn and be financially independent. I thought “If I can come to US and get work after US education, my wife and sister can do that as well”. We put our family plans on hold. Raising kids would mean a gap of 5+ years for my wife which could prove insurmountable in rejoining workforce.

She liked William & Mary’s Masters of Accounting. She enrolled in Northern Virginia Community College to get prerequisite credits. My wife and sister took the GMAT/TOEFL and applied to schools.

My wife got admits from George Mason, American University and W&M. My sister got admits from CUNY Baruch, Fordham, Johns Hopkins, American and Bentley for Masters in Marketing Analytics. Even though CUNY was 1/3rd the cost of Fordham and Johns Hopkins is a huge brand name, I advised my sister to enroll in Fordham as it is STEM certified. STEM allows international students to be eligible for 2 years of extended OPT in addition to the initial 1. This provides 3 years to find an employer who would file for H-1B.

For obvious reasons, my wife selected W&M. Since I could work from home, I decided to move back to Williamsburg to lower our living cost and be together. I did not have sufficient money for my wife’s education. Luckily I learned about Mpower Finance. They provided $25,000 without collateral at 11.99% APR both to my wife and my sister. This was a game changer. I took a personal loan from DCU for the remainder amount. I paid my sister’s monthly rent in NYC. By fall both enrolled in their respective schools. I asked Cartesian to apply for my Green Card (GC) but they asked to revisit in 2017

2017: I visited India in Oct and that’s when my mother fell and broke her shoulder. It became clear to me that I need to live together with my parents. I asked Cartesian again for GC but they refused to apply. To be fair I still had another year on my H-1B and could renew it for 3 more years. Usually companies exhaust 6 years of H-1B before sponsoring for GC. The problem is that USCIS puts a cap on number of GC applications per country. Which means that India with a population of 1.3 Billion gets the same number of GC slots as Lithuania – a country of 3 million. This cap puts a wait time of 10 to 15 years for Indians and Chinese to get GC in best case estimate. Worst case puts the waiting period at 45 years!

Even if I received GC, I still couldn’t stay with my parents. I started exploring other options and learned about Canadian Permanent Residency. My wife and I applied to Canada’s point based PR. During application I got to know another Indian applicant. He was 38 years old, had two kids. Worked in US on H-1B for 7 years. (2 renewals + 1 extended year) His company exploited him and gave him $138,000 while his American coworkers made $200,000+ He couldn’t leave his job as his company was filing for his GC, because of his age he scored less points in the Canadian PR process. He was in a pickle.

I decided I didn’t want to be in his shoes after 5 years. By mid-2017, my wife faced rejections at interviews due to companies unwilling to sponsor H-1B. Luckily she contacted Tim who owns La Tienda at Toano, VA and is a W&M Alumni. They hired her for a yearlong internship during the course of her OPT. My sister also found a job at NYC but the hours were killing her. Rampant racism existed in her company. English Hons fresh out of school American citizens are fast tracked into Managers while  Indian employees who had considerable experience in SPSS, SAS etc. and had a MS in Marketing / Analytics were made to work at grassroots. I decided to leave US when my wife’s internship and her OPT would conclude in July 2018. By December we had received our Canadian PR.

I owed my parents $80,000 for my MBA. I had little money saved. So I decided to buy a property in India. I would pay the mortgage on it and my parents would rent it out. The rent would provide them additional income to support cost of living.

2018: I was bleeding money from all ends – rent, auto loan, mortgage, education loan and taxes. Additionally, I couldn’t plan for retirement or invest in a property while in US.

Since both of us were earning and our cost of living was low. I decided to use snowball effect. First, paid off my wife’s education loan by making lump sum payments every month. That freed up the money going towards that loan. We used that additional money and attacked the next – auto loan was now repaid. Only mortgage remained as we moved to Canada in July 2018.

In September my H-1B expired. I resigned from Cartesian as a full-time employee and rejoined as independent contractor. This worked in my favour as I was able to get a 20% hike. I was promoted to Manager. I did not miss forgoing benefits like medical etc. as those are provided in Canada under universal healthcare.

We setup base in Toronto and my wife landed a job soon. We used the snowball effect once more to pay off my mortgage in India. After 4 years or so I recouped my Return on Investment on my MBA.

2019/2020: I was debt free and started saving money. Paying rent in the Greater Toronto Area was expensive and paying the same amount in mortgage made more sense. We bought a house and started a family. My sister also applied for her PR and joined us. I applied for my parent’s Super Visa – which allowed them to stay up to 2 years in Canada at each entry. After 6 long years we all were together again.

In conclusion, I feel lucky that I was able to successfully use my MBA to transition into consulting, change geography and attain higher purchasing power.

[cdlabelsize-blog]

The strength of Labels

dvd dimensions You define your own world with labels. Anyone define those around a person using labels. You specify your self with labels. Product labels tend to be powerful - become careful the method that you use these people: they can make or even break your current attitude along with energy.

dvd dimensions

Entire world Labels

While a freshman within college or university my bicycle had been lost from my dormitory hall while my roomie in addition to I cleaned our place. I was lucky for you to get this bicycle again. I was luckier to help learn a valuable "Labeling" tutorial. A Hispanic man (fellow student) had consumed typically the bike. I has been prejudiced versus Hispanics intended for some time after which as a consequence of his actions.

My spouse and i don't like seeing my very own attitudes with regards to people transform because of an individual. In which realization helped me redouble my attitude so that will My partner and i didn't lump tons of great people straight into my frustration at him or her. Time dissolved that rage so he has not possibly the subject of the ire, and hasn't also been in generations. Hispanics decided not to steal our bike -- one person did, as well as he happened to end up being Latino.

That label confident eaten a lot associated with my energy to get a short time there.

Accuracy in the labels is important so in which your thinking correctly reveal the world and also appearance your attitude in regards to the entire world you are describing along with living in.

Better still, minimizing your own personal labeling let us you see men and women with regard to all that they are usually, and can be. Gowns energizing for them, in addition to for an individual, rather compared to taking energy.

Trademarks about Others

On a care my husband and We took a Refezione analyze. Mensa is the "high IQ society" - clever people, to label these individuals. We'd been speaking with Mensa conventions and a single on the organizers felt many of us were Tavola material, nevertheless I was not sure I'd personally even accommodate with the class - or perhaps wanted in order to. I'd long assumed persons in Mensa had been geeks who played expression as well as number games, and have had little social skills. Similar to this collection of labels?!

Considering that our interactions with the various people at often the conventions have been favorable most of us took the assessment : and passed! I actually shoved into a whole distinct collection of labels any time I included with my LinkedIn account that we was any Mensa member (yes, all of us joined the association). My spouse and i was now labeled while some sort of know-it-all, as inside I must recognize every little thing about everything. Inappropriate!

Labeling can help define your personal tribe, or circle regarding contacts and friends. They might be labels of praise or maybe derision. But, labels could also often be narrow and also limiting - and gowns the thing that makes them a difficulty. Labels will come from trusting stereotypes, not being totally sure or being familiar with the full qualifications involving someone's life, as well as via your own life experience along with biases.

Labels place individuals in boxes. Packing containers are generally simplistic. How perform those product labels drain your own energy because of your current "need" to defend all of them? And also the do those trademarks influence impact the folks you put them with?

Others' Labels on You actually

I've possessed others use labels in my experience that, until eventually I saw the fact that was going on and changed my very own response, brought me along. Occasionally I've quickly observed this the label didn't get pian relief, or even apply, in addition to had the ability to rise above the actual energy drain the idea made in me. Occasionally really taken me months to be able to see what happened, arrive at grips with my effect, and re-energize myself.

At times positive labels, while experiencing good, have encouraged me personally to feel cocky or even exceptional. That's limiting as well. While intended compliment connected with a ticket was supposed well, the reaction had not been reasonable. Brands shouldn't help make us no more than they need to break us. Permitting the particular meaning of a point check out your head basically healthy.

Product labels are aspect of how "tribes" usually are created, or identified. Tribes are great to always be part of! Many of us expand, connect, and experience realized with "our people". Typically the trick is to not really permit the tribe's label "get you". You aren't excellent or poor because associated with the tribe label. You will be more than the group, just as you will be much more than the label.

Experiencing precisely how others' labels impression our psyche, it's fair personally to expect this labels upon others affects them in the same manner, even in the event that positive. I know everyone in business is in charge of each of our own reactions on the universe, but I want for you to tread carefully but not lead to others to have a lot more challenges than they actually do. I want to help limit my very own label apps. I want the phrases to lift men and women, certainly not box them throughout.

Your own personal Labels on On your own

Almost certainly my most destroying self applied label I've given to personally is "I'm wii businesswoman". Never mind that My partner and i are actually successfully self-employed regarding over 29 years rapid that is beside typically the point. When I determined to alter the focus regarding my career, the following a few year hiatus did not support my self photo.

Throughout hindsight, those restrictions We bought into contributed in my opinion losing passion for our previous career as a new guest house consultant and brokerage. The volume of four- and five-star B&Bs I'd coached loaded this resume. The range of people I actually really helped realize their hopes for buying and operating a resort filled my cardiovascular system. Nevertheless somehow all of which has not been enough.

I weren't productive by others' explanations involving success: my cash flow levels, my website site visitors, how informed the globe was of myself, often the number of books We would printed - all fell into listed below others' ideas connected with precisely what made for the successful businessperson. U ordered into those constraints intended for a long time. I had created caged me personally with damaging labels.

Joining Brendon Burchard's High Performance Secondary school with March 2015 time to share view the cage I'd set myself into and start its door so My spouse and i could possibly fly free yet again. I am able to still feel that will surge associated with power as well as self identification! What any moment when I started out that cage door, got out into the home, and also stretched my wings.

I am just back!

The almost all damaging labeling of almost all are probably the brands anyone apply to oneself. As you control who have others can be, or perhaps how they are noticed, when you utilize product labels to them, you carry out a similar to yourself instructions merely more so. A person are more important along with unforgiving of on your own as compared to others, most of the actual time, knowning that takes some sort of lot of energy.

While you can be so very much more than you, in addition to more than a tag stated, be careful regarding the labels you actually implement to yourself. If a person think also highly involving yourself, an individual limit your own personal growth in that spot. If you think way too lowly connected with yourself, anyone discourage expansion there far too. The labels you actually employ reflect all the methods you put yourself within packing containers, the ways a person limit by yourself, and the particular ways you don't accept yourself fully.

Your power is usually connected to your personal acceptance, your own growth, as well as your freedom. Whenever you steer clear of self labels an individual mirror self acceptance. Once you adopt yourself you assist your current growth. When you no longer box yourself in you could have the freedom to possibly be yourself inside myriad techniques. Those just about all support a new strong energy.

Good vitality keeps you living with typically the day, allows you in order to be fruitful, and results in alertness. Lifestyle label cost-free supports a lively life.

[lacktastrophe]

Fair game and Sugar Substitute analysis

One of the things that I always found kinda sucked about keeping current on web-comics is with the update schedule. Though, not necessarily about the update frequency when new pages are uploaded (I mean, going back to one day a week from three is AWFUL, but considering it’s only for a year, I’ll live), but more specifically with the amount of content you digest at that moment in time. 

I’ve grown used to a pattern of glossing over a page before continuing with my day. This is about as good as reading a page out of a novel in much the same frequency; a page a week, getting on with your life, then on a following week try to remember exactly what happened on the page before without having to go there again to be continually up to date. Try giving that a go. Even with BCB’s previous three pages a week you tend to kind of forget what was explored earlier and you have moments where you don’t see the small details and how they fit into the page you’re reading now without going back. And who’s seriously got time to go back and re-read the chapter when it reaches its conclusion and read it from the beginning? Hahahahaha....

Well, we should be doing more of that.

I have been spoiled rotten by manga’s been run by teams as of recent. It’s always nice to see 30 pages or so produced in a months time, I have an easier time retaining knowledge of what’s happened in those stories because of the amount of pages you can consume in one go as opposed to once-a-week web-comics. I thought Homestuck got this right as well when it went to a weekly schedule instead of daily, and the updates started getting progressively larger (admittedly by this point, it was also being worked in a team). It was easier to retain knowledge of events, even if it was...a total clusterfuck by the end...

It’s worth going back and re-reading chapters once they’re all done. I tend to feel differently about them even more so once I see how everything’s come together. Now that Sugar Substitute is all wrapped up, let’s go back over Fair game and see where we’ve reached in this point of BCB’s story.

-

Fair game opens with a non-cast character celebrating a strike, we realise as Madison takes off her blindfold as the other characters celebrate and shout surprise to her, we’re at a promised birthday event for Madison from Moments apart.

We’re with the group of seniors we’ve been more than acquainted with over the last few years. Of course, Paulo’s here too, and we’ve also been joined by two of his friends, Daisy and David. It’s like Golden Hour, but this time Daisy’s here!

Jessica’s got the whole corner of the Alleyway booked so nobody can ruin their evening.

No weirdo’s allowed.

No weirdos, with the exception of both David and Paulo. When clown shoes are involved, so are subtle references to video game characters. 

Madison feels the need to ask who seriously invited these two idiots, and we’re scratching our heads. Technically, these two were only invited because Matt had begged Jessica to, according to the page comments. I’m guessing Madison still hasn’t gotten over her dislike of Paulo and probably never will!  On the plus side, this means they get the chance to have two teams of four running, instead of it just being Madison, Jessica, Matt and Jordan.

With the two exceptions to the rule aside, now it’s Jessica’s turn to be upset about the other let-down that evening; we’re off to a great start as Jordan invited Tiff again at her own disbelief. Tiff, the same girl who ditched him at the prom. Jessica is completely livid over Jordan’s persistence that he and Tiff could be a romantic pair despite so many problems over so many years.

Jordan is absolutely hopeless and keeps chasing after girls who are just impossible.

Paulo is also at odds with Jordan choice and confronts him over Roxy’s absence. He mistakes her name but Jordan knows who he’s talking about. Despite that they did get along together well at the prom, Jordan is still insistent that there’s a connection between him and Tiff.

But she’s already gotten bored and has decided to leave while they’re all talking.

Jordan chases after her, acting as if it was a mistake that she went out the wrong door. Only to find she’d gotten bored so quickly she had called for a ride as soon as they gotten there. She leaves on the back of someones motorcycle.

Sigh.

Jordan goes back inside and tries to save face, but nobody is surprised by the conclusion; Tiff has ditched him again, she isn’t coming back.

Paulo takes the time to grill Matt on his choice of potential love interests; Jordan is absolutely hopeless, especially when he had something good going on with Roxy. Why would Matt see ANYTHING good in someone as hopeless as him? 

Matt doesn’t know, he retorts with some incredible wit claiming it’s more or less the same attraction that Rachel has for him.

Apply wound to burn.

Paulo tries to stand on the same level as Matt to see what’s so great about Jordan. Failing to see some light in his personality, Paulo first tries to imagine if he has any physical attraction to Jordan, he doesn’t. He can’t even imagine Jordan as Lucy and see the same attraction. The two aren’t even alike. There’s no way this is working.

Matt explains Jordan has been there for him at his worst, Jordan’s optimism and upbeat personality giving him some inspiration that there’s more to live towards. We’re all familiar with some of the difficulties Matt’s had to face up until now, so his feelings towards Jordan are that of a real friend.

Paulo gives some thought to Matt’s answer. He can’t help but ask an ambiguous theory about what if ‘he liked him back.’ Matt asks him to clarify seeing as the question was quite open, and while Paulo does letting him know it was for him, we get the impression from his stutter he meant to ask about his own friends as well, likely David as how David shared his affection for him in Golden Hour.

Matt’s sadly sees his crush as only that; a daydream. Given Jordan’s affixation with Tiff, it’s hard to see him as anything other than straight. But Paulo isn’t initially sure given his own feelings, and starts wondering about whether the feelings he has towards his male friends himself is any less valid given he too has only ever chased after women all of his life. This thought process is derailed when Paulo looks away at that moment to Matt with a smug expression over his face, an embarrassed Paulo tries to distance himself from looking any further into it.

Matt might be getting some amusement out of this given how Paulo acted towards him in Golden Hour, but I imagine he’s also just happy to see Paulo slowly coming to terms with his feelings since that point and towards determining what they mean to him. We get more of an insight into why Matt’s like this towards Paulo in the intermission chapter, but this is some good progression from Paulo’s side, and it comes to eventually begging the question from Matt; He’s been crushing hard over Jordan for years despite being positive that Jordan is straight. Has he ever asked him the question and found out for certain?

Matt flusters, he’s too shy to even know how to go about asking in the first place.

Paulo’s things otherwise and suggests it’s not as hard as it looks. A straightforward procedure, simply ask; are you gay?

But, Paulo’s own foil to this direct plan of his, is his own insecurity to his feelings when Matt asks the question back.

It’s a subtle lesson to Paulo that sometimes the more direct method isn’t always the best method. Matt has previous experience having done so, finding himself ostracised when people he thought he could trust suddenly changed their minds on a whim.

Paulo feels terrible about the freak-out, he’s reminded of how he acted towards Matt in Golden Hour. Paulo asks Matt if he wants him to ask Jordan himself so they can find out once and for all.

Paulo isn’t too concerned about what others think of him and there’s no risk to Matt himself even if the worst happens. Matt appreciates the gesture.

We finally get to see some bowling soon afterwards! It’s easy to see who’s done this before as Madison and her gang are easily making short work of the juniors.

Jordan stops Daisy’s next bowl to try and help her out. As Paulo watches on, he can’t help but try imagining again about Jordan. Paulo slightly edges towards thinking that, maybe he does have some kind of attraction.

The teasing has to stop somewhere.

Paulo is still at odds with himself over it. He hates the idea of finding some attraction to someone as dorky as Jordan.

He tries to substite Jordan for Lucy in his own imagination, but suddenly, she turns into some other dork he knows about.

Oh boy, how the tables have turned.

We were teased with the idea that it was David Paulo had been thinking about, this might still be the case, but here, Paulo has instead got secret feelings for his own rival.

He falls off his seat in surprise, only to have Daisy come over to find out what’s going on.

Paulo’s freakout causes Daisy to panic herself, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable around her, but Paulo instead just tells her a fib that he was dreaming and she woke him up from it. Daisy doesn’t even stop to think about why he was sleeping at a party let alone a bowling alley, as she immediately goes to be reassuring to him that nothing could hurt him. She’s an interesting friend.

We finally get some of that best friend Daisy x Paulo bonding that had been absent since Daisy started dating Abbey back in volume 1, as the two talk about lucid dreaming. It’s very interesting to see that Daisy has some really interesting dreams herself about Paulo, even seeing Paulo as some kind of hero.

How cute!

Daww, Paulo says some lovely things to Daisy sometimes.

Paulo is still trying to work out his feelings, but as soon as Jordan gets up from his seat, it’s time for Paulo to get to work.

I hope you’re ready for agonising pain, because this next sequence is just the worst.

Paulo walks in just as Jordan is done in the bathroom. Paulo puts the moves on him just like the does with the women at school. Jordan initially mistakes the flirt Paulo gives as an everyday comment.

And it all goes downhill from here.

God, end it now.

We get our wish when Jordan tries to reciprocate Paulo’s feelings but tells him at the same time he’s not into him.

Paulo, acts quite embarrassed and initiates plan B; Bail!

Paulo coolly shouts ‘Sike’ and tries to play off the whole thing like a joke. An off-handed comment about his little sister however causes Jordan to forget about what happened and flip into defensive brother mode. We get subtle hints that Jordan has been at best tolerating Paulo’s presence in the group. He tells him to leave her alone if he knows what’s good for him.

It’s not hard to wonder why things are this way, Jordan had a theory from ages ago that her friends had done something to cause her to try and throw herself off a building. He’s not at all pleased to hear that Paulo still has his sights on her. 

It makes more sense in the intermission chapter but we cannot hope for more given this immature joke has done nothing but worsened Jordan’s opinion of him.

Thankfully for Paulo, Jordan is more mystified with Paulo’s skill at flirting than the game he played just before. He thinks to try and leverage some of that skill by asking whether Paulo could teach him some skills that he could apply on Tiff, but Paulo already has:

Dont...Date...Gold-Digging...Bitches. 

Marginally avoiding a totally catastrophe in the bathroom, the party continues unabated with grandma Madison celebrating her 81st birthday (alright we’re so over this joke now), and responsible teenage driving when seven of them fill into a five-seater car.

Very responsible.

Jordan is the last person on the trip, leaving just Paulo and Matt.

Paulo apologies and confirms Matt’s earlier suspicions. Jordan does consider himself straight. There’s little chance of it working out. Matt looks devastated initially, but comes to having accepted the result like he did initially, nothing’s changed.

Matt plays it all down; Highschool crushes are sometimes destined to go nowhere. There’s more to life and there’s always that someone out there.

Paulo starts thinking about what’s being said too.

There’s some disbelief in Paulo in how Matt can remain upbeat and positive even knowing that a crush of his will not happen. Compare to Paulo who broke down multiple times when several chances where he could have been romantically involved with Lucy were being sunk one after the other.

But in telling Matt how he could just go out to find love, a number of Matt’s own insecurities about the future tear open. Indeed, Paulo could just go out onto the street and pick up any woman he wants. They might not be the right person, but it’s that easy for him.

It’s not easy for Matt. It’s never been that easy.

Matt reveals he’s scared of what will come now. He feels more alone now and blames his sexuality. He could’ve simply gotten along with Rachel before, he had that opportunity. It would’ve been enough to be accepted, but it wouldn’t have been him. Paulo tries to reassure him that it was correct of him to be true to himself. But Matt is far too concerned with the future; Jordan was the only light he had looked forward towards all this time, one of the reasons he felt he could certainly keep moving. But now what? He wasn’t accepted at home. Could he be accepted anywhere else after school? Who could love him now?

And he’s scared he won’t find any acceptance because of how difficult it is to find other people like him. Like how Paulo couldn’t accept simply being asked if he was gay, Matt fears that kind of reaction from people most of all. 

What if he doesn’t find anyone else like him? What if everyone else is like him; wearing a mask, unable to be themselves?

We see some great character progression from Paulo as he tries his best to reassure Matt that it’s not all lost; he’ll find someone else, there is always someone else.

Greater to his own character development, Paulo’s inner feelings start leaking out as well. He has such a poor opinion of himself, he can’t help but feel scared about the future as well. But he carries such a hopeful opinion of Matt. Surely this one upset is not the end for him.

Hearing it brings Matt out of his crisis.

At the end of the night, Paulo reassures Matt that there’s surely something to look forward to; he’s got his friends.

Matt returns the sympathy, they’ve both got friends, they’ll show the world some day.

That brings the chapter to an end, but why stop here?

In the following intermission chapter we find Jordan and Matt in the library studying for their SAT’s. We’re given the impression that even with Augustus’ help, Jordan is just as hopeless in this aspect of his life like how he is with his love life.

Matt convinces him they should get back to the task on hand. But Jordan can’t help but bring up that Paulo had tried to hit on him at the birthday party before, causing a chill to go up Matt’s spine.

Given Jordan’s hopelessness with Tiffany we’re under the belief he’s so hopeless as not clued into what’s going on around him, but we find that isn’t the case at all. Jordan has been watching. He’s very aware of Paulo’s habits and. . .it seems like there may even be some pity towards Paulo in the end of it.

It’s hard not to understand why things are like this either; Jordan has been acquainted with Paulo in one of two ways; through his sister or through Jessica and Rachel, as he had been friends with them as soon as he started at Roseville high, (this had been more or less supported in the BCI comic Blind Date when we see Jordan with them as Matt joins the group.) Having been friends with two of the culprits who took advantage of Paulo in order to get back at Tess in his sophomore year, it’s hard for him not to not have learned that Paulo had been sleeping around with the both of them, or heard the rumours that he had been sleeping around in general. The BCI Comic DinnerTime supports this when Jordan tries to use this knowledge as leverage against his sister’s romantic shenanigans to get his mother to extend his curfew. 

Despite being associated to each other over the last few months through his relationship with Rachel, it doesn’t appear outside of asking for advice on picking up the opposite sex that they are close friends. Being mindful that Paulo is one of Lucy’s ex-friends, who could be the one responsible for Lucy throwing herself off the building, he’s been largely tolerant but not very open towards a friendship. And when the idea of Paulo becoming romantically involved with Lucy comes up, Jordan is all but against it; he almost lost his sister once, he isn’t going to risk it again. Especially after Paulo’s inability to reconcile with Rachel’s feelings towards him.

Having come to know Paulo, Jordan feels sorry for him instead, believing Paulo is confused and is allowing his feelings to run his life and control him as an explanation to his strange behaviour. He asks if it’s the same with Matt as well, which Matt says is correct. He likely pities Paulo to some extent. But I wonder if it’s because of the chance that, despite appearing like he has a lot of love to give, Paulo appears lonely no matter who he’s with, in much the same way Matt feels isolated and alone through his sexuality.

Matt lets slip at this point that he knew Paulo had went to harass Jordan in the bathroom but it goes by unnoticed by Jordan. Jordan instead downplays that the harassment was all taken in good jest, and strangely enough, it seems to have rubbed off on Jordan; Jordan appears more confident having another male let him know he’s attractive.

The greatest reveal is at the end of the intermission when Jordan jokes about seeing if he could somehow hook Paulo up with Matt. It leaves Matt stunned, and why not?

Jordan knows he’s gay. There’s some solace in that acknowledgment.

At the same time, he can’t help but find some humour in that Jordan thinks Paulo would be a great fit for Matt. He finds that hilarious. There’s only room for one hopeless guy in his life.

I wonder what the next chapter will bring?

[bewareofthorns]

jeepers! meet rowan ‘ro’ sharpe, tenant of room 3b, college student tentatively majoring in history and wholesome all-american boy learning to stand on his own.  this is legiterally the worst ™ intro, but it is also everything i applied with! 

·      ☆ ⤻ logan shroyer. meet ro sharpe. he is/are a 20 year old history student, who’s been residing in apartment #3b for a year. usually , you can catch him on the subway listening to a whiter shade of pale  by procol harum and their roommates insist that he reminds them of rumpled sheets, sunlight streaming through a half-opened window and tangled earbuds. the libra has been described as candid & guarded but since he’s known as the all-american, i guess we’ll just have to wait and see .

a brief intro

think basic white boy. now more basic. even more basic. if ur at fuccboi, ur going in the wrong direction. 

he is absolutely the kid in high school that you wanted to hate, but that you couldn’t. his parents raised him right and that frustrates others around him to no end.

he’s as american as apple pie and just as sweet. if you met him in his native environment, he’d probably be somewhere in between a state fair and a football game. picture like any movie where the underdog leads his team to state. that was him in senior year.

he had a mom and stepdad and two little siblings that he left behind in ohio. (and sometimes, though he hates to admit it because it sounds like something a coward would say, he wishes he had never really left them.)

the world is bigger than he thought it was. and there’s times when he’s in the apartment and people are walking by that he can’t help but be a little afraid.

on social media, if you scroll back in time, before the apartment, all his posts before got is pictures of these two little kids and like football cleats and like terrible shaky videos of performances he did with the awful band that he made with his friends. he never thought he was going to go to new york city for college. he never thought- that this would be his life.

the drama that goes on, the messiness of the rest of the people who live in the apartment—as much as he never expected it to be, this is a vibrance that sucks him in, that has a hold on him that he can’t really explain. there’s a joy to it, of course, an intenseness that he can’t deny. 

just a fish out of water here in the city. part of him wants to go back to when he just had one girlfriend for like four years and they were going to go to college together and get married and he was going to be an actuary or a tax auditor or something. part of him still believes that he will– 

but he also knows. he loves this life. he’ll never be able to go back. 

I”M LITERALLY CRYING I LVE HTIS BEAUTIFUL WHITE BOY. HE LIVES SUCH A GOOD & WHOLESOME LIFE. I BET HIS MOM WENT ON HIS FIRST DATE WITH HIM WHEN HE WAS 14 AND, WHEN HE WAS 7. HE WALKED AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND GAVE EVERYONE THEIR MAIL FROM THEIR MAILBOXES EVENTHO THAT’S A FELONY. HE JUST WAS A GOOD WHOLESOME KID.

.

More

1.       His mom and his bio dad never got married and, while his dad did his best to be around while he was really young, his job eventually took him away to nyc and both of them agreed it would be best if he didn’t look back.

2.       though he remembers missing his biological father terribly at first, he was young enough that it hardly mattered. within the next few years, his mother got married, ro was adopted by his stepfather, and he would get two new half-siblings. 

a.       by the end of the first year of the marriage, ro had already taken to calling his stepfather ‘dad’. after all, it was his stepfather who took him out to backyard and taught him to play catch. it was his stepfather who helped him with his math homework and bought him christmas gifts. it was his stepfather who was there. and to ro, that was all that mattered. 

3.       he never once thought his childhood was missing anything. he took bass guitar and swimming lessons; he played on the local baseball team and, then, after deciding it wasn’t for him, joined the football team. he had a good group of friends and even did fairly well in school.  

4.       it wasn’t until he got into high school that things started to fray at the edges. after pulling a prank at school and getting into trouble, his stepfather sat him down and asked if he were acting out bc he missed his real father. he hadn’t been– at least, he hadn’t thought he was, but, when the gate was opened, he admitted that he wanted to at least meet the man who he had so few memories of. 

5.       so he did. and it went okay. There were no hard feelings. They agreed to keep meeting up.

6.       ro was lucky, though. as he was forced to navigate through this complicated relationship with his father, he was able to escape the perils that usually plague teens in  high school. 

a.       he was smart enough to talk with the academically-inclined and creative enough to hang around the arts kids, but his true saving grace was his position on the football team. he was good at it— enough that by his junior year, he had gotten an offer to join the reserve team for his dream school. it was a good scholarship and it also allowed him to pursue the degree that he was interested in (econ and math). 

7.       but despite accepting the offer almost immediately— he never ended up actually enrolling. Because he had also secretly applied to a nyc college to spend more time with his bio dad who lived in the region. And when he got accepted, he just knew-

a.       i don’t think he understood what he was getting into. the college he is going to has technically a better reputation than the state school he had originally wanted, but he just wanted– to know his dad better. to have a real relationship with his dad before it was too late.

b.       it weighs heavy on his mind that he threw away the larger college scholarship, the chance to be with his friends, the football offer — all just to spend some time in nyc for the more frequent opportunity to he feels guilty, as if him just being here is some kind of betrayal to the family that raised him. 

8.       lastly, ro absolutely calls his mom and stepfather every week, but still finds himself struggling to hold a conversation with his father. They don’t meet up as often as he thought they would. School takes up too much time for him. And his father is always working. And though his father is the one paying for his rent and also a chunk of his tuition, he still longs for a better connection.

9.       he’s really just a small town boy from ohio and here, where it seems like everyone parties and engages in a rock star lifestyle, he’s incredibly out of his depth. he’s sweet and he’s young and he’s responsible. he’s not here to spiral out of control or be number one  he’s just here to learn what it means to be a student. And also… if he can, someone’s son. 

fun facts

       he skateboards. everywhere.

       he doesn’t drink coffee.

       he stopped drinking soda when he turned 17 for a dare and never picked it up again.

       he knows how to knit.

       he’s a hardcore romantic. his mom took two tries to get it right, but she got it right.

        Did he have a high school gf that lasted for almost the full four years? You betcha. Did they break up because he went to NYC? You got it. Is he heartbroken over it and trying to fill the void? Done and done.

       In the apartment, he’s definitely trying to be the voice of reason. That’s not to say he can’t get down with the best of them, but he’s also always trying to get things under control.

        Since he’s 20, that also means—he’s not very good at standing his ground.

WANTED CONNECTIONS are fckn everything. 

exes, crushes, fwb, mentors, enemies (petty or deep-rooted... but i dare u to hate him). my literal fave r weird shared communal space plots. 

someone who will buy him contraband since he’s underage !! he swears he’s responsible

someone who he gives life advice to (in all of his iDiot 20 yo boy brain glory)

someone who gives HIM life advice to counsel him through being an idiot 20 yo boy 

someone who he caught doing something outlawed in the building

smoking? parking your bike in behind the potted plants? look we all know ur growing something behind the succulents but i don’t want to know okay. 

I was sticking my head out the window and you were draining water onto the pavement. Dude I see you. My god. We all have sinks. 

our mail keeps getting switched up ?? look ??? idk ???

We do our laundry at the same time every week and there’s just NOT ENOUGH MACHINES and its super weird bc like. we  never talk elsewhere about it. but every week we show up with full baskets at the SAME TIME

I know you keep ur door unlocked and so like. we’re friends. you won’t mind if I just pop in to use ur dish soap. i like ran out. 

KEEP UR NOISE LEVEL DOWN U HEATHEN. IM STUDYING. are u singing? is that a cat’s yowl? are u… Look IF YOU DON’T i’ll put a hole thru ur door.

[inhumansforever]

Ms. Marvel #29 Review

spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers

Bruno’s back and Kamala becomes an aunt in the latest issue of Ms. Marvel from the creative team of G. Willow Wilson, Nico Leon and Ian Herring.  Recap and review following the jump.

Things have been rather hectic of late, with Ms. Marvel and her pals having to take on the evil Inventor... but the villain has been defeated and now the real drama is ready to ensue. 

The story starts off at the maternity ward where Kamala’s sister-in-law, Tyesha, is about to give birth to her and Aamir’s child.  It’s an intense ordeal, too much so for poor Aamir, whose kicked out of the delivery room after he faints.  Fortunately, everything turns out fine and it’s not too long before Kamala is introduced to her nephew, Malik.  

Aamir is overwhelmed by the joys and terrors of parenthood.  Within an instant he is dedicated heart-and-soul to this tiny human and is just consumed with the anxiety that he can never live up to the extreme pressures of being the ideal parent.  

Kamala, meanwhile, is on cloud nine.  She’s in love with little Malik, loves being an aunt, and it all just fills her with a bubbling joy.  Some time later, she goes out on patrol as Ms. Marvel and just dances across the rooftops, feeling like a Disney princess in the first act of a movie where they sing and dance over the joys of their lives.  

It’s all interrupted when The Red Dagger jumps in to join her.  Ms. Marvel has had mixed feelings about this mysterious young hero who has so suddenly relocated from Karachi.  She feels a bit defensive toward him in that he sometimes acts in a way that has made Kamala feel as though her idealism stems from a place of  naïveté.   Yet Red Dagger catches her off guard, when he professes how much he had missed her, how he’s thought about her constantly and just feel that she is wonderful.    

Kamala is often very hard on herself and to hear this debonaire hero profess such admiration kind of sweeps her off her feet.  Before she knows it, she and Red Dagger are kissing atop the minimart.  Kamala’s first kiss!  And it’s a good one.  

Yet the romantic moment is cut short when Ms. Marvel realizes they are being watched.  She looks down to see Bruno, who has just arrived back from Wakanda, glaring up at her... clearly alarmed to see his longtime crush making kissy-face with some handsome stranger with perfect hair.  

Bruno had been living in Wakanda and his school in the Golden City has gone on break.  He’s returned home in order to try to figure out his future - should he stay in Wakanda or return home to Jersey.  He’s accompanied by his roommate, Kwezi, who has taken the opportunity to explore America.  

Kamala and Bruno meet the next morning before school.  They catch up, likely hoping that they can slip back into being lifelong friends the way things had been in the past.  It’s not to be.  Too much as changed.   Bruno is in love with Kamala, he has been for as long as he can remember.  Kamala had believed that Bruno blamed her for the accident that left him so badly injured.  And though she’s very happy that he no longer hates her, it’s clear that Bruno still doesn’t agree with Kamala’s double life as Ms. Marvel.  He wants things to go back to how they were; she wants him to accept her for who she is.    

In Bruno’s rush to come see Kamala, he has entirely forgotten that when he initially left for Wakanda, he had basically abandoned his then girlfriend, Mike.  Mike sees him when she arrives for school and it is crushing for her.  It’s quite clear to her that she hasn’t at all been in Bruno’s thoughts and she runs off in tears.  Bruno doesn’t seem especially phased by it, more intrigued in learning that his classmate Zoe has recently come out as gay.  

As all this unfolds, Kamala and the gang are also introduced to a new student at their school… a brash, glamorous and conceited ‘mean-girl’ named Kaylee Kirk.  She’s a total snob, but also quite attractive, and she very much catches Zoe’s eye (much to Nakia’s chagrin; she’s not going to stand by and watch her bestie fall for such poorly mannered glamortant).   

Artists Nico Leon does a great job at capturing the look of abject befuddlement on Bruno’s face as he takes in all that has changed in his absence.  

After school, Kamala catches up with Bruno at the Circle Q, where they continue their conversation.  Bruno explains the ways in which Kamala’s becoming Ms. Marvel was so difficult for him.  They had been such close friends, but Kamala’s priorities changed after she went through Terrigenesis.  She became a masked superhero and Bruno was cast down to the trusty sidekick - a role that left him feeling unappreciated and left behind.  

Hearing Bruno express his feelings in such a straight forward manner has a dramatic effect on Kamala.  It all leaves her hugely confused and conflicted.  She dashes away, b-lining to her local Mosque to seek council from her Masjid, Sheik Abdullah.   

This is where the issue really comes to life.  

Sheik Abdullah is such a wonderful character and his depictions have always maintained a near uncanny balance of humor, poignancy, snark and reverence.  Furthermore, the conversation he and Kamala have re-centers the story back onto Kamala and her ongoing struggles to grow, learn and become the best person she can.  

Navigating around keeping her dual identity a secret, Kamala explains that she had kissed a boy, might actually love a different boy, and doesn’t have the faintest idea what to do.  

Sheik Abdullah has to admit that when it comes to young romance he often feels it represents a great failing in his effort to guide those who come to him for advice  When one is young, everything felt so monumental, romantic interests were overwhelming and seemed the biggest thing in the world.  As one grows older, however, recollections of the intensity of young love tends to fade, leaving the older generation Ill-suited to truly relate to these confused, love-struck kids.  It becomes essential for someone in Sheik Abdullah’s place to think back and fully remember what it was like to be so young, how every decision felt unbearably crucial and world-changing.  

Ultimately, Sheik Abdullah’s guidance is that Kamala should slow down, understand that she has room to make mistakes, and follow her heart as best she can.  It’s sage advice.  

Elsewhere, Zoe seeks out new girl, Kaylee Kirk.  She just wants to be friendly, welcome Kaylee to the school.  Kaylee is disinterested in any ovations toward being friends  She’s angry, she’s mean, and it would appear that she possesses super powers.  In the heat of barking her dismissal of Zoe’s friendship, Kaylee clutches at the metal of the school lockers... squeezing and contorting the metal as though it were a soft clay.  She then marches off leaving poor Zoe feeling rather alarmed.  

I’ve no idea who this Kaylee Kirk is, what her deal is nor the nature of her apparent super powers.  With her being so angry, so mean, and so strong, however, it’s a rather good bet she may quite soon become a threat that our hero, Ms. Marvel, with have to face off against.   Unfortunately,  this matter, along with Kamala’s romantic crisis will have to wait until next issue.  

There were some parts of this issue I quite liked, as well as a few I didn’t at all care for...  

I enjoyed the change of pace, focusing more intently on Kamala’s emotional development and struggle with the onslaught of feelings that are so endemic to being a teen.  After her relative absence in the previous arc, it was nice to see Kamala and her inner life so center stage.  

And her discussion with Sheik Abdullah was the highlight of the issue, managing to be both funny, touching and profound all at the same time.  I liked the way in which Sheik Abdullah’s advice paralleled with Aamir’s being so overwhelmed by the prospect of parenthood.  The advice Kamala gleaned could just as easily apply to Aamir and his own struggle.  Every stage of life can feel like a bombardment... the only way forward is one step at a time, learning gradually, understanding perfection is unattainable, and just trying to do the best you can.  

As for what didn’t work so well for me, I found the pacing a bit off  The narrative made some odd jumps and the scenes didn’t move with the same degree of effortless fluidity that I’ve come to expect from this book.   Kaylee Kirk’s introduction felt obtrusive, characters seemed to be coming and going all at once and Kwezi was sort of wasted as comic relief (though he did have some very funny lines). 

Nico Leon’s art was terrific as usual, yet his line work and panel composition is not as crisp and dynamic as it had been in the previous arc.  

These quibbles on my part may be just that, quibbles... small, unimportant complaints that actually stand in for what actually rubbed me the wrong way.  That being that I just don’t really like Bruno.  

I know I’ll catch heat from pro-Bruno Ms. Marvel fans out there, but for me the character just kind of perturbs me.  Yes, he’s had a difficult life, but I don’t think he’s treating Kamala fairly and I’m rather disappointed to find that Kamala may actually have feelings for him.  

His relationship with Kamala all too often feels transactional... like he feels deserving of her love because he’s been a good friend.  The injuries he sustained in the civil war II story were entirely his own fault, yet he blamed Kamala; he basically got Kwezi to help him by acting pathetic and eliciting pity; the way he has treated/is treating Mike is altogether inexcusable.  

I’m likely not being fair here... but I just don’t like Bruno.  

I’d much rather Kamala not have a romantic interest, or her be with Kareem as opposed to her being with Bruno, whom I see as kind of manipulative and self-centered.  

Here of course I’m speaking entirely as a fan with a fan’s opinion and not some objective reviewer.  We’re closing in on fifty issues of Ms. Marvel and she has definitely become a fictional character I care a great deal for.  And as such, I want the best for her and feel quite protective.   I guess I’m worried Bruno will end up hurting her.  

And it’s hard to tell if my distaste for Bruno has acted to diminish my enjoyment of this issue as a whole.  As such I’ll give it two scores.   A more objective four out of five Lockjaws; as well as a less objective, more gut-felt two out of five Lockjaws.  

Either way, it’s nonetheless very much recommend.