#i mean this one is less biblically accurate than the last

[dovesick]

pigeon angel (for ultrangeltober by @ultrainfinitepit )

[autisticlancemcclain]

part one

———

Hunk’s not really a natural morning person. No one really is, he doesn’t think, and he already has to get up at stupid-o-clock in the morning for his job, so he likes to sleep in on weekends. He’s no Pidge, of course — if you let her that woman will literally slip into a coma on command — but if he doesn’t have to wake up early, he won’t.

In the city, where there is nothing but buildings and the air pollution is so bad it’s like a constant cloud over the area, that’s not a problem. In Lance’s woodland fairy-ass cabin, the sun shines straight from the window into his eyeballs the second it rises, and he’s up early.

He drags himself out of bed with a groan, glaring at Pidge who is entirely unbothered, because of course she is. He remembers when the three of them went on trips, growing up, and how he and Lance would wake up early for hotel breakfast and find Pidge still dead asleep. (They would proceed to have a competition to see who could stack more random shit on Pidge’s sleeping body before she woke up. She never woke up. A fuckin’ biblically accurate angel could descend upon them with the light of a thousand suns and Pidge would still be dead to the world. It’s honestly kind of hilarious, except right now Hunk is insanely jealous, so it’s not really funny.)

He digs through his duffel, looking for his X Files t-shirt because he is a dickhead and he thinks he’s funny (he is). Once he’s finally dressed for the day, he creeps out of the guest room — Lance’s cheeky warning from last night still ringing in his ears; he does not want another eyeful of alien dick, thanks — but the door to Lance’s (and Keith’s, he supposes) room is ajar, bed made neatly, lights off. They’re awake.

He pads down the hallway, peeking through at doors that are ajar but finding them all empty — washroom, laundry room, office, every single room with the lights off. He finally makes it to the kitchen, the last possible place where they could be, but there’s nothing. Curiously, he glances at the front door, but Lance’s dorky retro sneakers and Keith’s big combat boots are still there. Clearly, they’re both in the house, but where?

Deciding not to worry about it, Hunk starts digging through Lance’s fridge, pulling out eggs and cream and butter to make some breakfast. He’s pretty sure that all is forgiven for their less-than-stellar reactions to meeting a Real Life Alien, whom Lance is apparently boinking (which is much less of a shock than Hunk is pretending it is), but breakfast can’t hurt.

As he cracks and whisks the eggs, pouring them into the hot frying pan, he begins to hear a steady squeaking noise, like the creaking of a porch swing. He quietly moved the eggs off the burner, inching close to the big window over the sink and peeking out.

Ah. There they are.

Lance sits with his feet tucked up onto the porch swing, curled into Keith’s side. Keith has a big arm over his shoulders, clawed thumb gently brushing his bare arm, as he rocks the swing back and forth. His poofy black hair and fluffy ears brush the low-hanging roof of the porch with every swing.

“Things are gonna be different, now,” Lance murmurs, turning slightly to press a kiss to Keith’s shoulder. Keith is quiet for a while, his only reaction being a slight quirk of his lips, showing the barest hint of crooked incisors and a sharp fang. His smile, coupled with the near reverent way he looks at Lance, makes his whole face look softer.

“Different doesn’t mean bad.”

“No. But it won’t be just you and me.”

Keith shifts, gently guiding Lance upright to sit on his own. Once Lance is no longer leaning on him, Keith ducks his head, pressing an obnoxiously loud kiss to his cheek that startles bright laughter out of Lance.

“It’ll always be you and me, baby,” Keith says, grinning openly now, “only now everyone else gets to see how much I love ya.”

Lance rolls his eyes, trying to seem exasperated, but happiness bleeds off him, so obvious anyone can see.

“Sap.”

Hunk steps away from the window as they start to banter, smiling to himself. He hasn’t seen Lance this happy in a long time.

It’s good to see him smiling like that again.

———

“So,” Pidge says, once they’ve all eaten and are talking a slow walk through the woods since it’s so beautiful out, “there is not a single chance that I will be able to keep this —” she gestures to Keith and Lance as a whole, wiggling her fingers at Keith particularly — “to myself.”

“I mean, you could definitely try,” Lance points out.

“Not gonna happen,” Pidge dismisses. “Aliens are real. I’m tattooing it to my person.”

“I mean, alien is subjective,” Keith mutters, more to himself than anything. “Y’all are the weird ones, out here on your own. Everyone else is pretty chill with each other.”

Lance pats his shoulder.

“Pidge has a bit of a point,” Hunk says, glossing right over that because that’s a lot of information for one weekend. “Your mom calls once a week, dude, and I’m a shitty liar. You know that. Before I could claim plausible deniability, but yesterday I saw more than I ever wanted to see in my life. If Marcela asks me why you’ve been shanked up in your hippy cabin for months I will not be able to choke down the truth.”

“It’s not hippy,” Lance mutters. It’s Keith’s turn to pat him placatingly on the shoulder.

“I mean, we could maybe head back with y’all to the city,” the man — can Hunk call him a man? Is that alien racist? What are the rules here — suggests. “I’ve been wanting to meet your family for a while, so that would work out, right?”

Lance frowns thoughtfully. “I suppose since the cat’s out of the bag…”

Pidge clears her throat, stopping to lean against a tree. “Uh, New York is weird, sure, but not ‘show up with an alien and no one will ask questions’ weird, man.”

Hunk tilts his head. “Actually…”

“Shush, Hunk, I’m trying to make a point.”

“Oh, no, I can just be human for a bit,” Keith assures, as if that’s at all a normal thing to say. “I would have done it for you guys if we knew y’all were coming. I imagine that would have prevented all the screaming.”

Pidge nods thoughtfully. “What the fuck,” she says.

Completely oblivious to — or maybe just uncaring of — her tone, Keith holds up a finger. “Hold on a sec.”

He closes his eyes, and for a moment nothing happens, and then he starts to shimmer, slightly, like the air around him is warping, like light is blurring. It’s hard to conceptualise, so Hunk squints on reflex. When the strangeness starts to settle and Hunk relaxes his face, a regular dude is standing in Keith’s place — significantly shorter than before, although still taller than them all, pale-skinned, with regular human ears and features. His hair is still in its thick black braid, and he still has a scar on his left cheek, but it’s a faint pink instead of purple.

“You’re a regular dude,” Hunk observes. “Damn.”

Lance smirks. “A sexy dude.” He reaches over and squeezes Keith’s ass with the subtlety of a seagull eyeing a young child’s french fry.

“I’m going to go gouge out my eyes with a random stick,” Pidge says pleasantly. Lance snickers at her.

“Make sure it’s poison oak so it hurts more.”

“Make sure you catch these fucking hands, you hippie dweeb.”

“Alright,” Hunk says, clapping his hands before those two can get into it any further. (If they get the chance they’ll argue about nothing for hours, and Hunk would really like to keep his will to live). “Let’s make our way back, okay? Lance can call Marcela and then we’ll head back to the city tomorrow.”

———

The next day, they’re all stuffed into Hunk’s Jeep, speeding down the backroads (safely!) as Mariah Carey plays softly from the speakers, because Hunk has excellent taste. Hunk taps his fingers on the steering wheel, along to Lance’s quiet humming. He catches his best friend’s brown eyes through the rearview mirror and grins. Pidge is turned almost all the way around in the passenger seat, just staring, dead-eyed, unblinking, at Keith.

Keith clears his throat, shifting uncomfortably. Hunk can’t blame him. He’s known Pidge for years and years and years, and sometimes her glares still make him sweat, if she stretches them long enough. And she’s been thoughtfully glowering at Keith ever since she woke up enough to use her brain. (They left the cabin at the crack of dawn so they could make it back to the city in good time. Pidge wasn’t happy about it.) She’s just — looking at him, blankly, as she slowly finishes her third pre-prepared travel mug of the nastiest instant coffee known to man, brewed with Red Bull. Lance, who has been trying and failing to ignore her, looks like he’s debating reaching over and closing her eyes for her. He’s glowering right back.

It’s a little funny.

“Is this a human thing?” Keith asks, finally breaking the silence. “The staring?”

“Ha!” Pidge crows, pumping her fist. “I win!”

Lance protests immediately. “No way! He doesn’t know the rules!“

“Fair’s fair,” Pidge says smugly. “He squirmed. He spoke up first. I win. That’s how it does. What, does he get special treatment? Is nothing sacred anymore?”

“This game is so dumb,” Lance grumps, but doesn’t argue any further.

“Game?” Keith whispers.

Lance pats him on the thigh. “Inside joke. Don’t worry about it, baby. I’ll explain when Pidge can’t eavesdrop and sabotage our strategy.”

Keith nods seriously, as if that is normal. Hunk grins. Keith’s going to fit in just fine.

“So,” Pidge says, tone still haughty. “Now that I have won, I get one question that you must answer truthfully.”

It’s a stupid game they play. When they’re curious about something, they just start — staring. Wordlessly. At whichever one of them is doing the thing they’re curious about. Whoever breaks first has to answer the question, and you’re not allowed to lie. None of them remember who started it. Or even when it started.

But, to Pidge’s earlier point, the game is sacred. Rules are rules.

“Okay,” Keith says slowly, when Lance fails to explain further. “What’s your question?”

“How are you planning to explain to Marcela why you’ve been hogging her darling youngest son’s attention for six months? I mean, you’re not the worst person anyone has brought to Sunday family dinner. Nothing you could do will ever be worse than the time Marco brought home the girl he met when she stole his car and then she stole his car again while everyone was eating. But, you know. Still. I would have a defense attorney present, personally.”

Hunk catches Lance’s eye in the rear view mirror again, and they both look away hastily to avoid bursting into giggles.

Poor Marco. No one is ever going to let that one go.

But then the rest of Pidge’s frankly pot-stirring question hits, and panic descends upon Keith’s face just as pure annoyance descends upon Lance’s.

“Oh my God, your mother is going to kill me,” Keith breathes.

Lance reaches over and pinches Pidge as hard as he can. She screeches. Hunk rolls his eyes.

“Stop freaking out my boyfriend,” Lance orders.

“Hunk, he pinched me!” Pidge whines.

“You deserved it,” Hunk says easily. That makes Pidge whine louder, because apparently she’s regressed about fifteen years. Hunk strains to hear over the sound of Pidge muttering about all the ways she’s going to get Lance back.

“It’s going to be fine,” Lance tries, rubbing a visibly panicking Keith on the back. “My mother is barely even homicidal. She’s very welcoming.”

“I am more afraid of your mother than NASA,” Keith responds, and Hunk has to stop himself from laughing out loud.

Lance smacks Keith — way gentler than he is capable, Hunk would like to note, Lance can pack a lot of violence into that wiry frame — in the back of the head.

“I can’t believe you’re letting that goober get to you. Pidge is messing with you because of who she is as a person. My mother will be ecstatic to meet you.”

“If you say so,” Keith agrees reluctantly, rubbing the back of his head and pouting.

The rest of the ride passes uneventfully. Pidge refrains from actively freaking Keith out, if only barely, and the four of them alternate between chatting and loudly singing along to Hunk’s excellent assortment of road trip music. By the time they finally enter the hellscape that is New York City roadways, they’re all so tired of being in the car that none of them have the energy to even hum, let alone tease each other.

“We’re two minutes away,” Hunk hears Lance murmur as he pulls into the McClain’s neighbourhood. “Take a breath, mi alma. All will be well.”

Keith flashes a smile at Lance, squeezing his hand. It’s tenser than the one Hunk witnessed yesterday morning, but no less loving, no less trusting.

“Okay.”

Hunk doesn’t even fully pull into the driveway before the front door is thrown open, and several people come rushing out, yelling in a mix of Spanish and English and honestly some words that aren’t language at all, just excitement.

“Tio Lance! Auntie Pidge! Uncle Hunk!”

Sylvio and Nadia are the first to make it over, yanking open the car doors and throwing themselves into the vehicle. Pidge barely manages to prevent Nadia from braining herself on the gear shift. Hunk ruffles her hair fondly, quickly exiting the vehicle and accepting the tight hug from Lance’s father, Miguel, and the myriad of other relatives. Veronica socks him hard on the shoulder, because she is a menace, so Hunk grabs her around the waist and throws her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. She yells at him in a way that does not at all hide her fondness.

It’s a ritual.

It’s not until they’re all finally gathered inside, cramped together in couches and armchairs and random places on the floor, that Keith is yanked from the metaphorical shadows.

“Who’s that?” Sylvio asks, pointing at Keith with absolutely zero subtlety. He smirks, looking tauntingly to Lance. “Tu nooooooviooooo?”

Lance looks back haughtily. “He is, actually. So there.”

“Damn. Can’t believe someone that hot managed to put up with you for so long,” Rachel teases immediately. She reaches out a hand to high five the twins. They slap her hand gleefully.

“All of you are horrible,” Marcela admonishes, placing a gentle hand on Lance’s head. Lance looks at her gratefully, then sticks his tongue out at his sister and niblings. “I’m sure Lance worked very hard wearing this poor man down,” she continues with a wry grin, making Lance squawk in betrayal and everyone else laugh. “Don’t discredit his work!”

“Nobody in this house loves me!” he laments, putting a dramatic hand on his forehead.

“I do,” Keith says quietly. Easily.

Hunk has known Lance, and by extension his family, since he was an infant. He’s been near these people as long as he can remember, attending Sunday dinners and birthdays and Christmasses.

Never in his life has he seen them get so quiet so quickly.

Keith is completely oblivious to the silence that has dawned around him. Around them — he has eyes only for Lance, and Lance only for him, like the entire rest of the world is empty except for the two of them. “I love you,” he repeats. Like the words are truer than anything. As true as the sun rising, as the stars twinkling. He says ‘I love you’ like it is objective fact, like there is no possible universe in which Keith does not love Lance.

“Ho-ly shit,” Veronica mutters.

“Holy shit indeed,” Hunk whispers back.

Marcela claps her hands sharply, startling everyone. “Dinner will be ready in a moment,” she says, transparently changing the subject. “All of you, come help set the table.”

———

“So,” says Miguel, once everyone has settled at the table and taken a few moments to stuff their faces — nobody can cook like the McClains. And Sunday family dinners are a serious affair, especially with Lance back for the first time in months. “We got a little caught up, when you all first got here. I don’t believe we were all acquainted?” He looks pointedly at Keith, then at Lance, who hurriedly swallows his bite of food before straightening up.

“This is my boyfriend, Keith,” he says to the table at large. “And Keith, this is my family.” He points to each of them in turn, naming them and giving them a second to wave hello before moving on. “And of course you already know Hunk and Pidge.”

“Believe me, we’re well acquainted,” Pidge mutters, then says “Ow!” when Lance very obviously stomps on her foot under the table. “I’m just kidding, you bully.”

“Hi, everyone,” Keith says awkwardly. He shifts his arms, like he’s not sure if he should wave or what.

Lance takes pity on him, patting him on the arm and speaking up on both of their behalf. “Sorry for not bringing him around sooner. He’s a newcomer, so we’ve been trying to get him situated. He’s a little…out of this world. Culture shock, and all.”

Hunk’s jaw drops. He looks at Lance incredulously — that may have genuinely been the worst pun he has ever heard in his life — and Lance’s mouth is twitching, like he’s fighting off a smirk.

What a shit.

“Oh?” Miguel asks, interest piqued. “Whereabouts are you from, Keith?”

Keith cuts a semi-panicked look at Lance, who just shrugs. “Pick somewhere,” he mutters, too quiet for anyone else to hear.

“My, um, my father’s from Texas,” Keith finally manages.

“Hey, cool, I have an ex girlfriend from there,” Veronica says.

“You have an ex girlfriend from everywhere, Lou Vega,” Marco says immediately.

Veronica doesn’t even blink at him. “None of my girlfriends have ever stolen my car twice, though.”

Marco shuts up immediately.

Poor Marco.

Everyone starts dogpiling on Marco immediately, because they always do. (In everyone’s, including Hunk’s, defense, it’s the kind of situation you never come back from). Keith looks relieved at the distraction, happy the conversation has moved from him as everyone chats about everything.

“Hey, Lance, can you pass me the pepper?” Hunk asks, as the rest of the family chatters on.

“Sure.” Lance sets down his fufu, wiping his hands on a napkin and grabbing the pepper shaker. He reaches across Keith to hand it to Hunk.

The next few seconds happen in what feels like slow motion.

Lance’s hands, greasy from handling his food, slip on the smooth glass of the shaker as he tries to hand it off to Hunk. The shaker drops on Keith’s plate, shattering on impact and releasing a cloud of pepper straight into Keith’s face. Keith, obviously, inhales a lungful of it. In his body’s effort to expel the pepper from his lungs, he lets out a great sneeze, so powerful it shakes the table.

So powerful it knocks the human form right out of him, making him huge and purple and fluffy again.

For the second time in his life, Hunk watches the entire McClain clan go completely silent, staring at Keith in total shock.

“Well,” Lance says weakly, making a face that Hunk can only describe as defeated. “I told you he was out of this world.”

[desultory-novice]

[Trimming for length...!]

...Mechalor Anon, how dare you take my attempts to give them a vaguely implied happy ending and convince me (challenge level: super easy) to turn this into something Truly Horrific... ANYWAY!

Snowflake!Noir and Adeleine, aka...**** ****...

Adeleine, as always, takes up art. She's more unsure of herself, so she's been experimenting with different crafts, trying to find the one that fits...whoever she is now. Noir waits tables at Kawasaki's while learning how to cook from him. He's stuck with his collar but the encroachment seemingly stopped with 02's defeat so...that's good.

[This timeline MUST have a Happy Ending. See? They're even smiling!]

They have a home at Castle Dedede when they're not out...enjo... sorry ENJOYING!! Dream Land; the soft cuddle bear penguin king unable to NOT care about these two in every reality, apparently ^^

Overall, they're not fine. All that shock and trauma in rapid succession, followed by being in communion with a dark power, letting it gently infuse their souls for decades to help escape their awful waking life, only to be very psychically available as it was destroyed and then waking up in a perfectly ALIEN situation that only pushes the two of them closer together is totally not fine though!

Today was another good day...

[Warning: horror, body horror, original attempt at biblically accurate Kirby last boss, semi-realistic eyes, no salvation, character death]

-

:Adeleine smiles wide, hopping onto the large bed where Noir sits:

Adeleine: "Ready?"

Noir: "Only if you're ready to lose two bucks."

Adeleine: "No way! Today was a good day! It's going to work!"

:Adeleine gears up to pry at Noir's collar, trying to break or otherwise remove it from him. It still refuses to budge:

Adeleine: "...Nghhhhhhh!"

:Noir wryly shakes his head:

Noir: "Ready to call it quits?"

Adeleine: "...Noir, are you sure you didn't accidentally glue this thing to you and you've been too embarrassed to tell me the truth?"

Noir: "Says the girl who sewed the shirt she was wearing TO my apron when I asked you to fix the ties on it for me. I didn't know you hated being apart from me that much, Adeleine!"

Adeleine: "No~ir!!"

Noir: "Anyway, no, I didn't and that's two bucks you owe me."

Adeleine: "...I don't have any money. They don't even use it here. Why do you keep betting me? What would you buy, anyway?"

:Noir replies with mock seriousness:

Noir: "...Chiropractic work for all the neck damage you've given me trying this thing every single day."

:She pouts before finally letting a little laugh slip through:

"...Adeleine, listen, it's okay. You don't need to worry about me..."

Adeleine: "It's not okay though! Dark Matter's supposed to be all gone now. Everyone said so. So...why aren't you better, Noir...?"

:A faltering smile to match her growing sadness:

:Keep lying to your sister, boy. You're an expert by now:

Noir: "...I am better. We're both better. Right...?"

"I mean, isn't this place a lot better than home? You're out there painting and sculpting and sewing and building and who knows what else and I'm...making less guests sick at Kawasaki's every day!"

:He laughs a hollow laugh. She doesn't laugh with this time:

"...Just cause this stupid thing is still stuck to me doesn't actually MEAN anything. It's just a boring hunk of metal. Nothing more."

:It doesn't still whisper to him. A thousand lost souls crying out to be one again:

:She crawls into his lap:

Adeleine: "Still...I'm...scared, Noir. I'm scared for us. Nothing feels right anymore... What if, the next time I go to sleep...I wake up someplace new again? What if...it's someplace without you...?"

:He hugs her tight, their shivering bodies fitting together perfectly:

:Why do you shiver, children? It is not cold here. It is too warm:

Noir: "C'mon, snowflake girl. That's not gonna happen anymore. We've stuck together so far and we're going to keep sticking. Right?"

"...And anyway, today was a good day. You said it yourself."

Adeleine: "Yeah..."

Noir: "We just have to keep having good days. Don't let the little things get to us. We've still got each other. ...We can do this..."

:Back to sleep. In sleep, we are safe. Only in sleep. Though... ...They ask us to wake up here They worry when we do not wake up:

--

:Outside the door to their room:

Meta: "...Your majesty."

Dedede: "Whaa?! It's not what it looks like!!"

Meta: "I have no idea what you're implying."

Dedede: "So, uh, what brings ya here, Meta Knight?"

Meta: "The same reason as you, I would suspect. To check on the status of our guests from Shiver Star. How are they?"

:Dedede points inside, where the two siblings sleep cradled in each other's arms, akin to how they were found. Though, it's a little uncanny to see them continue to sleep that way:

Dedede: "See for yourself. Sleepin' peacefully. At least, I hope so..."

:A bit of worry makes its way onto his face:

"...Adeleine's right, Meta. We beat Dark Matter. Twice. Hell, maybe more! Sure, we've had a host of problems since then but Noir's..."

Meta: "Do you believe that, my liege? That we have defeated it?"

Dedede: "What do you mean by that?"

Meta: "...When you look at those siblings, what do you see?"

:Dedede looks back inside the room:

Dedede: "I see two kids. Quiet. Respectful. Scared of trouble but they don't cause any. They mostly stick to each other but I seem 'em out there slowly trying to make friends with the others..."

Meta: "...You are a good man, my liege."

:Dedede balks and puffs up his chest:

Dedede: "That's 'Great' and get it right!"

Meta: "......Then I take it back."

Dedede: "Hey!"

:Meta fixes him with a fierce, burning gaze:

Meta: "Look at them again, sire. Not with your eyes."

Dedede: "......"

:Dedede can see it, their matter is locked in a twisted spiral, Soul and Dark feeding each other, tightly intertwined, and growing still:

Meta: "Do you see it?"

Dedede: "...No. I don't see nuthin'."

:Dedede turns away:

"And before you ask me to look again, I don't WANT to see it. They're just two kids, Meta! Just two small kids! They haven't hurt nobody!"

Meta: "...In the beginning, it was just the boy. He was sick with Dark Matter. I didn't know how he was still alive. He could have easily been a threat to the kingdom and not just because of that sword."

:Meta shuts his eyes, regretting his lapse:

"I...had hoped the presence of his sister could alleviate that some. But Dark Matter is not so easily tamed. It has grown fast, feeding off the two of them. It is already more than twice what a normal member of their species should be able to handle without being consumed."

Dedede: "...Right. That doesn't sound good. How do we stop it?"

:He sees Meta Knight's expression and rephrases:

"...How do we save 'em, Meta?"

Meta: "I believe, my liege..."

:His lowered eyes go to Galaxia's handle:

"...the answer will depend on your definition of 'save'..."

...

Meta Knight's words hung heavy on him.

King Dedede shut his eyes and decided to continue along as if it was nothing. Just...keep making the place as comfortable for the two as he could. Maybe the knight was wrong? Maybe it wasn't too late?

It wasn't long after that. The trigger was something forgettably small, as simple as a thoughtless suggestion or an accident; one of them gets hurt, bleeds a little, maybe. It only needs to be one of them, so inextricably are they linked that the resonance of the other's echoed pain races across Popstar like a sonic boom. Dark clouds swirl in, covering the whole planet, blocking out the star's brilliant light.

King Dedede rushes out. He doesn't want to know-without-question what is the cause this time. He wants it to be something unknown. A new invader; not his familiar tormentor, the foe he knows so well.

But he knows exactly what it is because he is already mouthing the words to a waiting Meta Knight. "The kids! Where are they...?!"

"Look up..."

It is a cruel joke to him. Always, Dark Matter had a way of getting inside him. But every time, it had been his body. Never had it succeeded at invading his heart.

He wishes this one would take his body.

...Take me instead...

But the two violet eyes are not looking at him. They arc laterally with rapid movements, back and forth, back and forth, stretching to the edge of their vision, looking for their other half they know to be there, felt through the comforting grip of tightly twined fingers and hinted at in the reflection of wings like the points of a snowflake...

...

......

-ZERO THREE-

" " yI at kH Ou er Bt ls lN 'o ti Ir " " | " " Dt ol nu ta LF ey aM vl el MA es Ai ls oi nh eT " " | " "It Ji um sm ta WD ad no tG Tp oU Ds rU ee ak ma FW ou ro FY od ri eD vy eh rW" " | " "Hr ee lH pe Hv ia mS" "

"...Give them back..."

"GIVE THEM BACK!!"

" " ...eK di en dg eD De gd ne id Ke... " "

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

...He will not get them back...

-

ZERO THREE's dialogue reads:

"It Hurts Noir / It'll Be Okay" | "Don't Leave Me Alone / This Is All My Fault" | "I Just Want To Dream For Forever / Why Did You Wake Us Up Godammit" | "Help Him / Save Her"

...The last one you can probably guess...

-

Mechalor Anon's full post below. Sorry I took the worst possible ending choice you offered and SOMEHOW MADE IT WORSE!

Noirs Saved: 2 (Gijinka, AU AU) Noirs Failed: 1 (Snowflakes)

[leorawright]

Hellooo, so I'm kinda sick rn 😔

BUT

I was in one of those moments where you're either high or seeing into the 4th dimension when it hit me

You remember that demon s/o thing with the tf2 mercs from... Idk last week (I have absolutely no concept of time) right?

WELL TIME TO PULL AN OLD SWITCH-A-ROO

Angel s/o :D

I'm mostly wondering what the main differences would be between meetings s/o who again, is just chilling.

(It would be really funny if one of the mercs was like "Holy cow am I dead? Are you here to take me to heaven?" Or something like that lol)

Ok byeee, have a good day and don't forget to take care of yourself! (This includes everyone.)

Dude that's hilarious

Mercs reaction to an Angel

Scout

I mean... he's technically a gift from God so...

But when he sees you? He's overwhelmed by just how bright you are

He will talk to you though and you cannot avoid him

It's likely he'll try to start up a conversation and 'sneakily' ask you questions during it

Soldier

He's (for once) speechless when he sees you

He snaps out of it quickly and will demand to know the reason for you being in the base

He knows you're an angel and so he'll be less demanding and loud than normal mainly because he doesn't want to offend you

Demoman

If you're an angel... is he in heaven???

No wait... Medic and Spy are still here nvm

He's very shy about coming up and talking to you

During the conversation he'll likely ask if you can somehow cure his cursed eyesocket he'd like to have two eyes again

Pyro

They're awestruck by you

They have no problem coming up to you and starting a conversation with you

The entire time you can almost see their eyes shining underneath their mask

Heavy

He's most likely going to keave you to do what you need to at the base

If you come across him he'll start a conversation but if you don't walk up to him he wont

He'll also give you directions if you're trying to find a certain part of the base

Medic

He's seen Heavn before and he can confirm you are definitely an angel

He's honestly disappointed if you don't look biblically accurate

He's not as scared as if you were a demon so he'll likely ask you many questions, mainly about anatomy

Sniper

He knew this was a bad time to come into the base

He almost leaves immediately when he sees you

But instead he'll try to slip by you and get whatever he needs

If you talk to him it'd obvious he wants to leave (and honestly you kinda scare him)

Spy

Well you're not here for him, that he's sure of

He'll most likely silently observe you and make some mental notes about angels in his mind

If you notice him he'll come out and talk to you but if you don't he'll continue to silently watch you throughout your time at the base

[blue-15000]

Notes for Chapter 5 of To Be a Kunoichi

Hello, all!

I thought I'd start putting in a longer author's note on tumblr, to explain some of the little things I cook up in my brain. This chapter, Run, Hide, Fight, brings the first arc of To Be a Kunoichi to a close. The next arc will cover Naruto's first mission outside the village.

Some broad notes on the fic so far:

our beloved Nart is far from a reliable narrator. The fic is told entirely in third person limited, and is also largely her recollections years after the fact. What she focusses on, what she remembers, and what she relays to the reader might not necessarily be accurate.

All of the present-day part of the fic IS accurate.

Some broad themes I am trying to tackle in this fic include:

Diasporism/being an ethnic minority - Nart is one of the last descendants of a clan that was nearly wiped out, not too long before her birth. She's going to rediscover her culture and grapple with the fact that her family was largely wiped out throughout the fic. Like Kushina, she faces discrimination for her foreign features, especially her red hair.

Sexism and exploitation of kunoichi - Nart is the third female Uzumaki to be used as a jinchuriki by Konoha, and the previous two were both the wives of sitting Hokages, at least one of whom wanted to be a Hokage herself. She's also a kunoichi, who make up less than a third of shinobi forces. The intergenerational use of Uzumaki women for weapons/containers, the fact that their bodies belonged to the village before themselves... it's ripe ground for Themes about autonomy and choice.

Morality - Nart is not a natural born killer, like canon Nart. She will pretty much be in a torment nexus of my own design for the next few in-universe years, where every choice she makes results in death and destruction after some fashion.

Notes for this chapter:

It contains some of the original scenes I had in mind when I started this fic, including Nart being gifted Mito's kanzashi/jewellery box.

The myrtle flowers are a biblical reference to the book of Esther, where Esther's original name, Hadassah, translates to Myrtle. She was given the name Esther, meaning "it is hidden" to disguise her Jewish identity from the Persian King. "it is hidden" also refers to the fact that the name of G-d does not appear even once in the book of Esther. It's a small-ish reference to Naruto's status as the daughter of the Fourth Hokage (as close to royalty as it gets in Konoha), as well as the fact that her own ethnic identity has been hidden from her. Like all good references, it requires extensive explanation.

Naruto's yukata is white and green. In the anime, both Kushina and Mito are dressed primarily in white and green. I'm taking those as traditional Uzumaki colours. Combined with the two buns, Hiruzen does a double take when she shows up in his office ;)

Kasumi Uchiha wants to see Naruto because she was close with Mito while she was alive. She probably came to be a companion/lady in waiting to a village-bound Mito sometime shortly after Hashirama died, as part of efforts to integrate the Senju and Uchiha. She was not close with Kushina although they knew one another, and this is as close as Kasumi can get to telling Naruto about her heritage - Minato and Kushina's old friends can't pass on heirlooms, photos, etc, but these things didn't belong to Kushina! Loopholes!

I've always been fond of the theory that Shisui and Obito are brothers or first cousins, and have the same grandmother. It adds a little bit of extra tragic spice to Obito's actions surrounding the Uchiha massacre.

Naruto has had emotional bonding moments with every member of her team except Kakashi at this point. There are a few reasons for this - one, Kakashi is Mr. Avoidant. He habitually avoids forming close bonds with people for fear of them dying, and Nart is not an exception to this. Two, at this point in her life, Naruto needs familial/protective bonds with people. I don't want Kakashi to fill that role for her, because then it would be a bit weird when they start dating later on, lol. Their emotional connection will take longer to form, but it will quickly become the most important connection in both their lives. Plus, Shisui and Tenzo can fill the role of responsible older brothers a lot better than Mr. Avoidant can!

I also wanted Nart and Hiruzen to have a genuine emotional connection. Too many fanfictions don't go hard with the familial aspects of their relationship. That's why Hiruzen keeping her jinchuriki status and her parentage from her hurts so much - he isn't just a Hokage, a military commander, but family to her. At the same time, I want it to be ambiguous how two-sided their connection is. Does he favour her because she's like a granddaughter to him? Because he feels guilty for how her life has turned out? Or is it more calculated, designed to secure the loyalties of a living weapon? Either way, Nart genuinely loves Hiruzen as her family.

[lunaamatista]

Only putting this here so that I won’t forget.

Good Omens S2 places a deep emphasis on memory. To look where the furniture isn’t. To remember the mechanisms of gravity, but not its purpose. Not to remember Furfur before the Fall. To remember, however, the passwords to Heaven’s files or the crank used to start up the universe or the tall tales told to cherubs.

To have memories wiped out as a consequence of disobeying Heaven, and to have them kept away and restored as they were.

To gather memory in any way, shape, or form; whether that be through photography, drawings, books, or diaries.

How memories are colored by our limited perception. One angel would only know the blueprints of the universe and the next one would only know when it will end. One would know Extreme Sanctions as mythology and the next as reality. One would know a person as a writer and another as a criminal mastermind.

A biblical account of a true event could’ve omitted the help of a certain angel or demon. The fire of exploding rockets might not be present in the memories of someone who’s seeing an event through rose colored glasses. A diary is not a confessionary, and one could simply make themselves more infallible out of lack of perspective, cognitive dissonance, or shame.

The story was previously told by an omniscient God. Now, it’s mostly reminisced on by an angel whose greatest issue is lacking knowledge and perspective, despite ironically standing beside that whom initially led humans to it.

Memories, even left as they were, are never fully accurate, are never fully complete, are never fully comprehensive, are never fully unbiased.

I, too, see the small discrepancies in costuming, in staging, etc., and while I don’t quite enjoy the thought that these mental records of the past would be tampered with—I do believe if, and only if we believe these are purposeful, we could be dealing more with an issue of the unreliability of memory (and ensuing unreliable narration) than anything.

I care less about that than the following, though…

The Book of Life does feel like an unfired Chekhov’s gun. I know many people are reluctant to believe a certain initial theory (and if it wasn’t clear from this post, so am I), but I don’t think the idea should be dismissed entirely.

The concept itself had kind of been alluded to in the book:

And we’ve also got these quotes of Adam’s:

With the result being that, evidently, he does some rewriting himself, and the humans’ memories of that day are not quite exact.

See also the last conversation of Aziraphale’s and Crowley’s we see in the book, which could read as Death messing with their memories once they’ve gotten too close to figuring out something that ought to be ineffable:

Ultimately, we do know two mechanisms through which memory could not be a particularly reliable means of narration in Good Omens. And memory is such a strong theme this season, that they clearly want us to think of it.

One does not need to actually change events of the past for them to affect the present and thus, the future. They simply need to change how they are remembered.

Know what way there is for someone to never have existed without actually eliminating their existence?

Think of the power a name holds.

Without a name, anonymous deeds could belong to a single person or a hundred. There is no way to ever be certain.

We do not know the name of the gleeful angel who cranked up certain nebulae. Aziraphale doesn’t know, either. He says he remembers the angel Crowley was, but Crowley says that angel is not him.

For Crowley (or Crawley) to never have existed, all that’s necessary is for Aziraphale not to remember his fall. The perception of that being a wrong is at the core of so many grievances he has regarding Heaven, and his determination to right it.

One has to imagine ‘AN ANGEL’ happy, perhaps working on some other important things as they did before without their work ever overlapping. It’s not like that angel had initially cared that much for him at all.

[ominouspositivity-or-else]

Open the Scriptures for us, Goldenrod!!!! Whatcha got, girl???

song of songs is sexy and illicit specifically in the ways it defies social norms of both the time and the times after; both christian and jewish ideas of marriage are tied up in the song of songs purposefully!!! like it defies expectations it's erotic poetry and it's about God and israel and within that it explains how he DESIRES you against all odds. It's about eros it's not like... supposed to be anything other than steamy.

THE FIRST FIVE CHAPTERS OF GENESIS(Give or take a little) ARE MYTHOS. AND HEBREW POETRY. ARTISTIC CHOICES WERE MADE. It's true!!!!!! It involves a history, but it is first and foremost poetry and MYTHOS!!!!

Job is also Hebrew poetry and most assuredly a work of fiction. It might be based loosely on a true story, but the book itself is fictional.

Revelation is about??? Like?? Every moment after Christ ascends? It is as much about now as it is about the end times? It's not specifically about an exact moment, it is this moment until the end of time.

There is no biblical basis for a lot of things that people take for granted in some circles, and even not every catholic tradition is biblical. Moreover, the bible actually says in one of St. Paul's letters(don't remember which) that the bible shouldn't be the only source!!!! Oral teaching is also a completely valid source, along with other types of writings.

Martin Luther took books out of the bible specifically because they supported doctrine he didn't like. Lots of other people at the same time did similar things. Many of these books have been added back into the protestant canon.

Matthew was written for a Jewish audience, Mark for a Roman audience, Luke for a Gentile Audience, and John for a Christian one. I believe John was written first chronologically, and Mark last, but I'm not confident in that statement. Luke might be last.

Luke is the only gospel that includes Mary as a major character. This is the gospel with the text of the Hail Mary in it. It also was collected in a similar way to the Acts, with eyewitness accounts and was gathered from collecting people's thoughts.

One of the main points of the book of John is to showcase clearly that Christ is the new temple raised in three days and the new high priest. This is one of the major bases for Catholic Sacramental Theology.

Translations can be more or less accurate. Like, legitimately, I'm so proud of anyone for reading the Bible, no matter what translation, but you're not EVER going to get the same literary depth or value from The Message translation as you do from say the New American Bible(one of my favorites). Always check which translation you're using when it comes to online sources!!! This is so huge and so overlooked. Basic misunderstandings or misphrasings can come from translations that don't offer the same depth. I've seen horrible characterizations of my favorite verses simply because the TRANSLATION wasn't accurately depicting the verse!

The KJV for instance takes quite a few liberties with its translation that actually wind up portraying things a little differently in specific ways(I'm hugely fond of the KJV's linguistical tone). In one place I know it changes the word "Tyrant" out for a less politically charged word, so to speak.

THE NEW COVENANT TAKES THE PLACE OF THE OLD!!! If you are a Christian, you do not need to worry about the Levitical laws!!! The New Covenant of Christ is the fulfillment of the old. Also, in Acts, there's a whole thing where Peter has to figure out whether or not Christians must observe not just the ten commandments but also all the laws of the covenants like circumcision and offerings at the temple. The answer was "Take and Eat" from above, meaning that what was unclean was now made clean, and you didn't have to be Jewish in your practices to be Christian, and the laws of cleanliness and the covenant sacrifices did not need to be made(because Christ is the new once for all sacrifice but anyway)

Saint Paul was against marriage because at the time he presumed Christ would be coming back IMMEDIATELY. Within a lifetime immediately.

The Letter to the Hebrews was NOT written by Saint Paul. We don't really know who the author was. There's speculation.

ADAM WAS NOT SEDUCED BY EVE INTO EATING THE APPLE. sTARS. THIS IS SUCH A POPULAR POINT OF VIEW ON THIS HELLSITE. That's a point of view popularized by JOHN MILTON in PARADISE LOST published in 1667. Basically, if you see anything overly emo and secular about the Fall, it's probably more based on Paradise Lost than on the actual biblical story.

There's more I've got but this is all stuff that ticks me off when people ignore it. Like, just. Historical and cultural context, translation, and the literal point of the text all need to work together in your understanding. People so often ignore one of them. It bothers me.

[danielnelsen]

ok in your eagerness to support palestine please try hard not to spread misinfo, even if it’s in support of palestine. it’s easy to look at people disagreeing with pro-palestinian info and dismiss THEM as the ones trying to spread misinfo, but sometimes it’s worth looking into (especially if people are actually giving explanations, rather than just saying you’re wrong).

for example: i’m seeing a post about how israel has changed all the arabic city names to hebrew (the post actually says ‘jewish’ which is. uhh. probably an extra flag to look into something) and is pretending those ‘biblical names’ are older and you should use the arabic names instead. so does that sound accurate? maybe on the surface; it’s a common tool of colonisation to change place names as a part of erasing the local culture and establishing a new culture. BUT……..palestine was only conquered by arab muslims in the 600s CE.

i’m gonna use jerusalem as my example here because it’s a city where the hebrew and arabic names are significantly different, so we won’t be arguing whether one group just converted the existing name’s spelling/pronunciation into their language. jerusalem was referred to as a variation of ‘urusalim’ in the 1330s BCE (and possibly even in the 1800s BCE). it was renamed to the arabic ‘al-quds’ in the 800s CE. that’s 2100-2600 years later. jerusalem is just very obviously the older name if you know about this history.

that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t learn or use the arabic names, but you don’t have to be wrong to support palestine. yes, israel changed the arabic names to hebrew names and that’s a tool of colonisation that they’re using to erase the local cultures, but just because their motivations are bad, that doesn’t mean the arabic names are older and weren’t also instituted as a tool of colonisation.

like come on guys, if you’re gonna be sharing information about the region’s history, at least try to learn a bit about the history of the region. none of what i’ve learned has made me support palestine less or support israel more, because the acts being committed by israel are horrific.

are you worried that knowing the historical context will change who you support? do you assume that the way things were 100 years ago wasn’t in any way linked to any war or invasion in the past? is it all just too complicated or too boring to bother reading about? i can’t really help you with that last point (yeah history can be complicated and i don’t personally find it boring), but the first two thoughts aren’t gonna help anyone. if your support is based on ignoring reality or hoping ‘your side’ has never done anything wrong ever, it’s not real support.

[magdaclaire]

call me whenever you’d like

a continuation of this, as ellenmissouri is still eating my frontal lobe

There's a lot of reasons to hate the hunter community, all said. So many lives lost that Ellen couldn't count them all if she tried, names she doesn't even remember anymore that have passed through the doors of The Roadhouse since her daddy opened it all that time ago. It's dangerous work, and a callous memory to be lost to, a cause with no great end. It can wear a person right through.

Any reason to hate it, at least the Campbells still let her know when Mary passes away.

The idea of not knowing is something that could have kept her up at night for years, waiting for Mary's one more phone call, waiting to know if she was okay, if she was even alive (she isn't, she isn't, Mary's dead, and Ellen can barely feel her hands), she's glad Mary's brother took care of things. Body already burnt like any hunter, at least Mary got a gravestone. God above, Mary's boys. What'll happen to Mary's boys? Sure enough, Mary's husband- John, Noah, something biblical- would take care of them, raise them how Mary would've, but no one could do anything quite like Mary could.

Even dead, Ellen can't let her be anything less than perfect in her head. A girl made of fireflies. A mother in flames.

Ellen's chest hurts, feels fit to burst, but there's more to be done than just grieve. There always is. She grabs the phone off the hook and twists her fingers in the chord, dialing a number so familiar she doesn't even look at where it's carved into the wall above the phone anymore. Well, that's almost true. Something nervous in her always checks the last two digits, doesn't trust her head more than her eyes however that may be, but she punches it in accurate and accepts the long distance cost.

"Hello Ellen Joleen," Missouri says as soon as she picks up the phone. Ellen smiles for the first time all day. Missouri never checks before she leaps right in.

"Hey Miz," she says, the familiarity smoothing in a little levity despite it all. Despite the occasion. She climbs onto the counter beside the phone jack and leans her head back against the cabinet.

"Hey sweetheart. How you holding up?"

"Not that well, as it happens. I've... got something to tell you," she says, her lips pressed together like an envelope closing up her sentence, the tension across her shoulders enough to make her clench her teeth.

"I- I know, Ellen," Missouri says, and Ellen's eyebrows crease. Oh no, not...

"Oh, Miz." There are times when she hates the lot that Missouri was served in life, even as much as Missouri has told her that she wouldn't rather it go to somebody else. She closes her eyes, bites her lip. Readies herself. She isn't ready.

"She was wearing a nightgown, El- our Mary! A nightgown! And she was trying to protect her baby, El, she didn't have any weapons on her or anything, Mary," Missouri rambles, her voice slowing out to accommodate the pace of her tears. Mary Campbell, known to have at least two guns and two knives besides, holy water coming off of her by the gallon, their Mary, died empty handed. Died protecting her child without anything to protect him with. A demon death nearly a decade after she had gotten out. Ellen catches her temple on the door handle of the cabinet, but strange enough, it doesn't feel like it matters much. And Missouri had to see that.

"Oh honey." Ellen means to say more, but Missouri. But Missouri.

"And there was no one to tell! Couldn't warn her civilian husband, couldn't call you, have you stuck in the same vicious waiting period I always am, just telling people that horrible things are going to happen and never being able to stop what I see. I saw her, Ellen. On that ceiling. On fire. Bleeding." Missouri's voice is thin, reedy, makes Ellen want to hold her fingers between her own, feel Missouri's heartbeat in her palms. Make sure she felt her there too. 

"And you were alone with it. And I never want you to be again, alright? Missouri Rose, you call me if you see something you don't need to bear alone. You shouldn't have had to hold that by yourself, now. I'm here. Lean on me, darlin'," she requests, her face unconsciously tilted up, her socked feet knocking slightly against the wooden base of the counter. They don't have Mary any longer, so much as they even had Mary in the last few years at all. What she knows is that she's going to do whatever she can to make things easier for Missouri. Whatever Missouri will let her.

"And what? Call you every time I see something? Bother you every day with my most innocuous visions of what might happen, even if it's not important? I could waste a lot of your time like that," Missouri says, the purse of her mouth clear as day through the sound of her voice, and Ellen loves knowing someone so well. A few more phone calls from Missouri Moseley certainly wouldn't run amiss around here. 

"If that's what it takes? Missouri, you can call me whenever you'd like. Day, night, in the small gray hours of the morning, doesn't matter much to me. I'm never gonna turn you away, okay? I'll always believe you. You know that, right?" she asks, making her voice a little harsher, rougher, her meanness coming out a little through her nose. It always gets her when they do this. Try to take everything on by themselves. Missouri and Mary used to do it both. Just because she doesn't get active in the hunting scene much anymore since her knee got blown out doesn't mean she can't do the work.

"I- Of course, El. Of course I know that. Believing me doesn't always mean you wanna hear every single vision, though, does it?" There's a sarcastic lilt to her voice, as if Ellen is doing something terribly naive again. She doesn't care. What's naivety in a world like this?

"Maybe I just think you deserve to be heard. To talk about it. I can help, Miz. Let me help," she requests, throwing it out as her last ditch effort into coaxing Missouri into allowing Ellen to help to carry some of the load. Missouri gives her a disapproving tut, only a little bit tinged by her sadness.

"Now, you're not playing fair, Ellen Joleen," she says, sniffling just a bit. What Ellen wouldn't give to hold her. To see her. They've only met in person twice, but Ellen doesn't think there's anything she wouldn't do for this girl. It's the least she deserves.

"Life hasn't been fair to you, Miz. I'm setting out on evening scores," Ellen says, her voice barely more than a whisper, the receiver pressed so hard against her jaw that it'll hurt if she keeps leaving it like this. Her good leg is pulled up on the counter with her, her bum knee left extended so it can get a little rest. There's hair coming out of her ponytail. She's not paying any mind to any of it.

"Eventually, I will see something that hurts you again," Missouri reminds her, her voice harder again. She's building her resolve to argue her way out of this again. Ellen frowns.

"And I won't blame you then, either, sweetheart, what are you worried about? What are you afraid of?"

"All of it, Ellen! I'm afraid of seeing more people die and I'm afraid of telling you about it. I'm afraid that I'll see so much death that one day it will suck every modicum of life out of me, and I'm afraid that one day, you'll notice that it's doing that too. I'm afraid that I will have this, I will have you, and then I won't, El. What if this is what makes you tired of the future? Tired of-"

"Tired of you?" Ellen asks, not wanting to let Missouri work herself to any more of a fit than she was already.

"Tired of me," Missouri confirms, steady and hollow. Scared, but sure.

"And what if I don't, Miz?"

"What if you don't?"

"What if I never get tired of you? What if I want you to share everything that fucks you up? What if I don't want you to be alone? What if I want to be the one that's with you? What if I never want us to stop calling each other and talking? What if I wanna know it all?"

"Then one day, I'll lose you too. You'll die, Ellen. And I'll see it. And I won't be able to stop it."

"So you never want to have me at all? Five, ten, twenty, hell, maybe thirty years of this, of us, we could have that, and you're willing to miss out because you don't wanna lose me? Miz, I'll die either way, baby. You'll die either way. You decide when the grief hits. We've already lost Mary," she says, and the wound is somewhere deep within her that might never heal, but different, maybe, then it wouldn't have been if they had been close in the years before Mary's death. Mary had called her every now and again, of course, but not nearly so often as Missouri has in the last years. There's a metallic sound on the other side of the line.

"You're not pulling any punches today, my dear," Missouri says, and Ellen can hear her pull on a cigarette. Missouri smokes inside often enough Ellen could recognize the sound anywhere. She hits her head back against the cabinet again.

"I'm trying to convince you to let me help take care of you. In what world would this be the battle I chose to begin pulling my punches during, babe?" she asks, wishing a little bit that she had a cigarette of her own, but she's trying not to smoke inside anymore. At least not in the kitchen. Makes the food taste weird.

"I am ill equipped for logic right now, Ellen, dear. Perhaps try again next time." Ellen raises a brow.

"So you will be calling next time then?" she drills in, unable to let it go when she knows that her friend, her Missouri, is hurting. She can't let her keep thinking it's alright that she does it alone.

"Well, I would hate to disappoint, wouldn't I?" Missouri teases, sounding all buttoned back up and presentable, and sharp edged Missouri Rose Moseley, perfect and pressed and nothing less than impressive. Ellen smiles despite it all.

"And so you would. You gonna be okay, sweetheart?" she asks, just one last time. Never can be too sure. Missouri chuckles.

"I always am, dear. I'll call you soon?" she asks. Ellen nods, even if Missouri can't see it.

"I'll pick up."

[satanfemme]

is it bad if i like angels just bc i think theyre interesting and i like learning about them. i cant really tell if im part of the problem ur ranting about or not 'v';

oh no ur probably fine, dw. I love angelology too, and there's nothing (inherently) wrong with that. the problem I'm complaining about boils down to this:

1. xtian/culturally-xtian people who appropriate from other belief systems, and claim this appropriation is somehow truthful to xtianity (/their culture) when it simply isn't. such as the people who misrepresent what ophanim are (a primarily jewish belief if I understand correctly, and definitely not widely worshiped by xtians. the xtian version is the "thrones" if ur wondering - which are often not even portrayed as wheels), and who claim this misrepresentation is, instead, "biblically accurate" (read: accurate to xtianity) somehow. this point is a genuinely serious problem obviously, as it's people appropriating and misunderstand a culture that isn't theirs. though, this is just a quick summary of the issue and there are many jewish people online who have spoken at greater length about this better than I could (as I'm culturally-xtian too). I would rather you seek out those discussions if you'd like to learn more of this side of it.

and 2. my more petty & personal complaint: people who very clearly don't actually know what the fuck they're talking about are claiming to be an expert on xtian mythos and go so far as to correct "misinformation" when.... that "misinfo" is actually the truth of the matter? "did you know angels don't really look like humans in xtian scripture" is literally an incorrect statement. fully. like I get that a lot of culturally-xtian people have not been to church in a very long time but I promise you actual xtians do, in fact, worship winged humans as their angels, and EVERY rank on the xtian angel hierarchy is generally depicted as humanoid. even the "weird" ones that are "technically" something else, like the cherubim, are depicted as humanoid by western xtianity. seriously, when is the last time u saw a cherub in xtian art look like anything other than a winged baby. so it's annoying to me when know-it-alls online act like they've uncovered some Deep Truth about xtianity when they're actually just wrong. besides, even if xtian scripture said otherwise, you could not discount actually practiced xtian beliefs because of some fun fact you learned off social media. that's not how religion works. and tbh it's strange to me that so many ex-xtians think that lying about this kind of stuff is in any way going to "reclaim" xtianity for them, whatever that means.

closing thoughts: my gen recommendation, personally, is that if you (general "you") are really desperate for "weird" or "reclaimative" shit wrt xtian theology, get into xtian-based demonology or read fucking paradise lost or something instead. even tho the xtian angels are more-or-less restricted to humanoid forms (sorry to disappoint!), fallen angels aren't, and do actually tend to look surreal, like those angels you're attempting to depict with ur "biblically accurate" shit. just look at marchosias for example (<- a personal fav). he is literally a DOG who has wings and breathes fire??? u are not going to get something that exciting from a church. also, as an added bonus, maybe if more people actually read paradise lost, less of you would be calling it a "fanfiction" to win yourself internet points, just a thought <3 end of rant.

[systemofshadow]

our experiences are a bit similar to the systems and collectives that have shared before us, in that a lot of our intrusive thoughts come from system members. it's worth looking into. adressing the intrusive thought, asking it why it's there and why it's thinking that way. if you get an answer, you might be talking to a system member or facet. thinking about forcing a split might be a sign that there's already been one, but that's up to you to figure out, anon.

for us, we noticed a pattern. L tends to have the ''disgust at humanity / normal human behaviors and needs" sort of thoughts. she was originally a completely nonhuman alter — think shapeshifter, biblically accurate angel underneath whatever face she'd chosen for the moment — and her distress at being within a human body caused her to lash out. after a lot of talking (and her merging with a human alter, and gaining an in-sys support system, which took about two years) she has calmed down a whole lot. she still has what we call "zoom out" thoughts (as in looking at the system and body as if she isn't part of it) and thinks it's messed up how much maintenance it takes to stay alive. but it's a lot less "all human behavior is sin and you will burn in hell for (checks notes) eating this slice of toast" now.

W split when we were seventeen and trying to work up the courage to end our lives. very glad we didn't. we actually have psych to thank for a lot of that — she's always been here to talk us off the ledge. so W's intrusive thoughts tend to be more along the lines of "what's the point, i don't want to keep going, i didn't plan to live this long," etc. but with more time (and another alter merge, promise this is the last one) she's actually stopped age sliding from 17 - 19 and found herself at a fairly static 21. which means even as the body is far older than she ever expected to be, so is she.

i don't think i'd be comfortable sharing what kind of intrusive thoughts E has struggled with, but only bring her up to mention that even those have slowed down greatly with in-sys support, care, and understanding.

my point to this shadow system lore drop (sorry lmao) is that, your intrusive thoughts, if seperated into another facet (or if they are already seperate) will likely need more help, love, support and understanding than anything else. pushing L away only made things worse. ignoring W made them harm the body just so we'd acknowledge their existence. so maybe splitting would be the right choice for you, but only if you find it easier to support rather than harm entities you see as seperate from yourself. it's easier, now, for me to give W or L or E a hug when they need it. it's easier for us to talk and cry and work out what it is that's bothering us. but if your plan is to be violent to an alter you create, understand that they have the ability to be violent back. kindness, we've found, is the only way forward.

can I split my brain and become an endo system to avoid a horrendous mental illness focused on intrusive thoughts and memories of past ones? i.e separating that part of myself (the tendency to have intrusive thoughts and the memories of them) into a distinct entity which I can shunt away, or preferably, stake through the heart?

Probably not, honestly. Dissociating from parts of yourself does not mean those parts stop existing, or that you don't have to deal with them anymore. If anything you're probably more likely to make things extra complex and create more problems for yourself.

Plurality is not really a way to get rid of parts of your identity you don't like.

[bangtancentricsblog]

hell hath no fury

↳ they say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned God was not an exception

❒ pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

❒ genre: angst, some fluff maybe, re-imagined bible story

❒ alternative universe: biblical, modern, married

❒ rating: NC 17

❒ word count: 2.8 k

warnings/disclosures: this isn't meant to mock religion or anything so please don't see it that way!, a whole lot of other gods/goddesses that i don't know enough about but decided to use for this fic, LUCIFER JUNGKOOK, GOD MC, APHRODITE SEOKJIN, BES YOONGI, MICHAEL TAEHYUNG, talks of war, Jungkook and MC have a daughter, they talk in circles lmao, mc doesn't let things go….nothing too bad though so i hope you enjoy it…..

main ml • AO3

It’s bright, so uncomfortably bright. Jungkook likes to think that maybe the white monotone and the open concept of the living room isn't because you held onto that disgusting idea of purity. To be honest he’s absolutely positive you’ve never known purity in your life, but he’s not one to judge. He’s not quite sure why he’s here but he supposed it's a good sign when his wife finally decides she wants to see him, especially of her own volition. There’s something about the solitude of your house that makes his skin tingle almost as if one of his brothers were near. Though one can never be certain when it comes to you, especially considering those horny bastards had been after you way before you two had even gotten married.

His leg has begun to bounce, a nervous tick he picked up from one of his human friends, but to say he’s nervous is a long shot. In truth he’s excited, the last time he’d seen you was during the wildfires of 2017 and that already seemed so long ago. Sure he’d caused it but what other choice did he really have? It’s not everyday one so easily gets to see their wife, especially one who has gone out of her way to make it known that although they were indeed still married they were in fact separated. He sighs heavily, manspreading while leaning his head against the back of the couch, he can’t wait, he thinks allowing his eyes to flutter closed.

*

Jin stares at you, eyes half lidded the way they always are when he can smell the love in the air. Though it's not just in the air, the scent of love has heavily wrapped itself to your being like a second skin and he finds that not for the first time he wants to know who exactly had such an effect on you. His cheek rests in his open palm, his stare taking in every bit of you in search of a possible answer, but alas he can’t seem to find a crack in your hand crafted mask. The garden you sit in is like that of a fairytale, Jin would know he’s read his fair share, but he digresses, he’s not quite sure why he’s here though. Sure he loved having tea with you but recently something had changed and when the goddess of love and beauty says he wished he could have tea with you in a beautiful garden he hadn’t expected you to make one in mere seconds. Surely something had to be wrong for you to build an entire garden just to appease his whims.

“____, honey, is there something you wanted to talk about?” he asks, eyes still trained on your face, still searching.

“I’m not sure what you mean Aphrodite, can’t I simply want to have tea with you?”

“You would never take me for a fool, just as I would never dream to take you for one. So I’ll ask once more and you know I don't usually ask love. Is there something you wanted to talk about?” he waits, his nose twitching as the beautiful sweet fragrance of love so unique to you is tainted by the bitter scent of smoke and iron. He wants to gag but he won’t because it seems your little mask has begun to crumble unknowingly.

“I’ve summoned my husband.” you whisper cupping the teacup in both hands. He doesn’t mean to gasp, it just slips out the seams of his lips. He knows of all the things your husband has done and he knows that they hurt you deeply, even now.

“What can I do to help?” he asks instead of ‘Do you want my husband to beat him up?’

“How do you, I mean how can I, well I'm not too sure honestly.” you chuckle bringing your teacup to your lips and the look in your eyes is far away, one Jin has never had the pleasure of knowing especially in one as young as yourself.

“Honey, you can't force someone to love you, love is something that just is or isn't.” He knows it's cryptic and yeah all the old gods spoke in riddles like this but he knows you, and he knows you’ll understand.

“I hate riddles, you old gods should keep up with the times.” you say, and suddenly he’s reminded of Bes who despite being slightly younger than him is much more in tune with the ways of humans and the current ruling god. His brows twitch, the smooth expanse of his unwrinkled face twisting as he feels the words slide onto his tongue, “You should talk to Yoongi then, he seems like a better candidate than this old goddess.” Your laughter fills the air, a sound so joyous that the garden around him seems to grow bigger and brighter. Oh, he thinks as he watches the garden evolve past anything he can imagine. Mortals were so dumb to think that a man could do anything much less create all that they have, even now as you sit before him he’s completely in awe of your true powers. There’s that scent again, the smell of love but much more different, yours is sweet and warm this one is cool and soothing almost like the scent of rain. It washes over him and mingles with yours twisting up in a way that compliments one other.

He’s turning his gaze away from you in search of the scent and finds himself staring straight at Lucifer. It’s not a surprise really, he knew that Lucifer was handsome, dare he say rivailed the looks of many of his friends and yet he was a different kind of handsome. Though right now he finds himself equal parts intrigued and disgusted because there was no way this was your husband.

*

Jungkook is roused from his nap by the sound of laughter, more accurately your laughter. It's such a sweet sound, he can't help but feel slightly upset that you sound so happy giggling up a storm with someone that isn't him. He knows the difference between your laugh, can easily tell, before you’d decided to separate he’d spent the better part of 7 millenia with you. He can see the way the shrubbery just outside a window is blooming, the once small buds blossoming into the full grown flowers as your laughter continues. He’s off the couch and following the sound like a bloodhound to a scent, he doesn't remember the cobblestone path nor the fountains of water nymphs that shy away from him as he passes. He doesn’t remember what used to be his home being so vast, the land is green, small rose bushes growing taller and taller into a hedge maze. He’s walking through it blindly, it’s bizarre really, because he’s sure he’d never gone through it before, almost as if it had grown in an instant.

He can see the trees that line the outsides of the hedge maze, can smell the sweet scent of honey suckles hidden from his view. All of these things are new to him but you aren’t one of them. Your laughter has died down to mere gasps and he’s rounding a corner when he finally finds you, though to his surprise it’s not just you. His gaze is quick to fall on Aphrodite, as his aura fluctuates from a soft pink to a dark raspberry his dislike for Jungkook is clear. The sun prickles at the back of his neck as you turn your gaze to meet his, a strange comforting warmth spreads through him. One he is accustomed to, something else he’s missed since you’d forced him from his place by your side. He watches your eyes grow wide as if you’ve just now remembered that you’d summoned him. A slow itch finds its way to his palms, he has to clench his fists to get rid of the sensation, blunt fingernails digging into the skin. He hides the slight wince well face falling into one of indifference as you continue to gaze at him.

“I’ll take my leave now, but I expect to hear from you soon.” Aphrodite says to you smiling in a way that annoys Jungkook. You seem to hesitate to tear your gaze from Jungkook’s, there’s that sparkle he missed, the one that shines brighter than all the galaxies in creation. He knows it sounds like an exaggeration but it’s not, your eyes really do hold stardust and shine just as bright. The breeze carries your scent to him and he takes a deep breath relishing in the indescribable smell, he sighs, fingers twitching at the thought that he’s finally this close to you.

“Wife.” he says.

“Jungkook.” you parrot his tone, but he can see the way your lips twitch in a failed attempt to hide a smile. He can feel his own pull upwards, his cheeks heating the longer you smile at him.

“May I take a seat?” he asks motioning to the chair opposite you. You nod your head gaze trained on his form as he easily closes the distance. The sun shines beautifully off his hair bathing him in a golden glow that makes him just that much more handsome, and it further reminds you just how breathtaking he is.

“How have you been Jungkook?” You ask as he takes a seat, the sun once warm now feels slightly uncomfortable against your skin, the dress you wear doing nothing to protect you from its suddenly harsh rays.

“Could be better, I do rule over hell after all. How about you, how is heaven going for you?” He says, moving to rest his cheek in an open palm.

“It’s going well, the death rate has gone down significantly. Nothing I can really complain about. I would like it if you stopped threatening to stir up trouble though.”

“I do no such thing, if my brothers have lied to you that’s on them. I would also love to not see you flirting with them at family functions.”

“I don’t flirt with them.” You say appalled at the thought.

“You do, you just don’t know you’re doing it.” He laughs taking your hand that rests on the table. His skin is warm against yours, your fingers twitch in his hold as he moves to intertwine them. His eyes are lidded, a soft smile playing at his lips the longer the silence grows. A breeze blows past carrying with it the faintest scent of salt and heat, one that comes to mind when you think of one person. You pull your hand away from his just barely catching the way his face falls at the loss of contact. It makes your heart ache, the loss of contact with him when he’s just returned to your side. But you have to be strong, it was you after all that had chosen to separate.

“Mama!” Your daughter squeals bounding over to you before she throws herself into your hold. Her skin is warm, the scent of salt just that much stronger now that she’s sitting in your lap. Her gaze falls to Jungkook quickly as she squeals again quickly squirming off your lap and towards him.

“Papa, I missed you! Did you miss me?” She asks as he moves to hold her close.

“Papa always misses you, my precious girl.”

“Mama said she had a surprise for me, are you staying over?” She asks excitedly before she begins to play with his fingers comparing her little hand to his.

“I don’t know, what do you think mama?” He asks around a grin that makes your heart flutter and your cheeks heat.

“I think your papa is busy honey. Why don’t you go play with your toys while we finish talking and then we can do something else.” You ask eyes hopeful that she’ll agree easily.

“Okay.” She sighs sliding off his lap but not before she kisses his cheek and bounds off towards the house. Both of you watch her go, gaze reflecting the adoration you hold for her.

“She’s gotten so big, how do you handle her?”

“With a lot of work, look I called you here because for some reason Yoongi has convinced me to try and work things out with you.”

“I’ve always liked Yoongi, he’s a very reasonable god.”

“We have our daughter to think about so I figured we should at least try for her.”

“And what about us?”

“What of it?”

“Are we not going to try and fix our relationship?”

“Jungkook, I know you don’t love me. You’ve proven it many times over and I don't want to force any of my feelings on you.”

“Why do you think that?” He asks, the annoyance is clear as he sticks his tongue into his cheek crossing his arms at his chest.

“You cheated on me, more than once.” You grit out.

“For the last time, it was a misunderstanding. You never let me explain, but of course you wouldn’t because you’re god and you’re always right.”

“I didn’t need to hear a lie about how that minor goddess came to be in our bed.”

“It wouldn’t have been a lie, because I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Just like you did nothing wrong with Lilith?”

“Exactly, Lilith is a liar she wanted to get away from Adam. I had nothing to do with that!”

“Surely you think me a fool.”

“I don’t but I do think you’re being foolish. I have never and will never be unfaithful to you. I love you, even after you cast me out of heaven, even when you refuse to believe me, I love you.” He says so earnestly your heart skips a beat. In his eyes you see nothing but truth, they glitter like they did all those years as if they’d been sprinkled with only the purest of stardust. They’re just as beautiful, just as lethal, but still beautiful and yet there’s something different.

“What aren’t you telling me?” You ask, the lightness in your tone is gone, replaced with something firm, something unyielding.

“What makes you think I’m hiding something, if I’m hiding anything at all.”

“I know you, and you are most definitely hiding something. So what is it?”

“The years have made you cynical, I don’t spend all my time plotting just so I can see you again.”

“Of course not, you spend the rest of your time bedding demons and corrupting the minds of humans.” You laugh a hollow empty sound, it’s unpleasant and makes his stomach twist.

“Must we have this conversation again? We’re talking in circles love, I have not done anything wrong….recently anyways.”

“Jungkook,” you start only to be startled by the appearance of Michael “Taehyung what brings you?”

“Pardon me my lord, I bring news of the human realm.” he says, shooting a glance at Jungkook.

“Tell me.”

“There are whispers of war, amongst the humans and the celestial realms.”

“War is common amongst humans, but higher beings have not been at war for millenia. What has changed?”

“Witnesses have said a serpent has whispered into the ears of many creating tensions between once peaceful beings.” Your gaze falls to Jungkook who sits quietly; his suit lacks any creases, crisp even as his brother delivers this sudden news. He lacks the surprise that one would usually witness when hearing this information.

“You did this.” you whisper resigned to the inevitable fact that he has stirred up trouble yet again but somehow this is worse than anything you could have imagined.

“I might’ve lost sight of the serpent who whispered in Eve’s ear some time ago, however I had no part in this. I am the king of hell, despite how the world sees me I do not relish in the useless spilling of blood human or otherwise.” He breathes picking lint off his sleeve, gaze meeting yours once more. His eyes are ablaze at the mere thought of war especially when he has something he wishes to protect whether you’d want to be protected or not. You and your daughter are his most precious treasures and if this war comes, he will surely die to make sure that the two of you are safe.

“Go to the general, prepare for war and make sure my daughter is safe at all costs.” you speak, and this version of you is the one Jungkook loves the most. The one who easily takes command of her domain, the one and only God.

“I’ll fight with you, I will always fight with you my love.” he reminds you, taking your hand once more, moving to kneel before you as he pledges his life to you again for all eternity in life or death he would be yours.

[hecallsmehischild]

Recent Media Consumed

Books

War Nerd by Gary Brecher. I have a lot of conflicting feelings about this book. First off, I had to try three times to read it, because the first two times I read it, I was in an emotionally unstable period, and this is NOT a book to read in emotionally unstable periods. On the third try, I blew right through it. Second thing is about the way it’s written. On the one hand, I wish all history texts were written with HALF the color and vigor and humor of this writer, because I would have retained way more information. On the other hand, it was incredibly difficult for me to come to terms with this style of angry, bitter humor combined with a worldview I can’t really understand. Which, I suppose, leads into some of my major take-aways from this book: human nature is not basically good (I already believed that, but this is a pretty good secular argument for it), human nature seems to crave war and peace is the exception, and there literally are people in the world who I will never understand no matter how hard I try because they want things that are antithetical to absolutely everything I deem important. I don’t mean minor things or even the things we all know come into conflict, like religion. I’m talking about things like peace. If you look at what peoples’ actions tell you over their words, it seems like some people (individuals AND nation groups) genuinely thrive on death and war, and that that was in fact the state of things for far longer than attempts at peace. It’s a difficult book on all fronts (except readability, it’s quite readable and certainly more enjoyable than most history texts as I’ve said), but it makes you think. I also can’t speak for how accurate this book is, but it is written by someone who clearly has a hyperfixation, so...

Inside The Robe by Katherine Mader. Judge Mader, a criminal court judge in LA County, kept a court diary throughout 2016. This book is the result of that diary, and is her attempt at giving an “insider’s view” on being a criminal court judge. She is a colorful writer with very clear descriptions and a distinctive voice. This book was a pleasure to read and gave me a better understanding of the incentives and constraints on judges through her daily vignettes.

Economic Facts and Fallacies by Thomas Sowell. I read this in the wake of my second reading of Basic Economics and thought this would be a good follow-up read. There’s a lot of overlap here, but this book delves more in-depth into some concepts that Sowell had to give less attention to in Basic Economics for the sake of providing a broader overview. As usual, there are some concepts that get a little too abstract for me to hang onto very well, but the majority of his work is very understandable and makes sense to me. I am grateful for the clarity with which he writes.

A Man of Letters by Thomas Sowell. This is actually a good accompaniment to his memoir, A Personal Odyssey. He collects several letters he wrote (and a few select ones addressed to him) to sketch his reactions to various events in his life. He has quite the dry wit. It was a treat to get a further glimpse into his life.

Books I had to drop and why

Battles of the Bible by Chaim Herzog and Mordechai Gichon. Sometimes I have to admit I made a mistake and not keep trying to force myself to spend time on a book I’m not enjoying. I thought perhaps this book would help me understand some context of the Biblical stories more, but really what this is is comprehensive step-by-step war strategy (complete with diagrams and TERRAIN MAPS) of each battle in the Old Testament. And… that’s not what I’m looking for.

The Road to Serfdom by Friedrich Hayek. I’m kind of sad about this one. Thomas Sowell has referenced Hayek reverently and I was told The Road to Serfdom would be a good read for me. Unfortunately what I’m coming to understand is that it’s very difficult for me to grasp ideas when talked about ONLY in the abstract. This is why Sowell is usually a much better read for me, because he tends toward giving concrete examples, so after about 3 chapters of barely getting what Hayek wanted to convey, I switched over to…

Marxism by Thomas Sowell. And I was also crestfallen here. From the fragments I gather, Marx (who Sowell studied extensively and followed wholeheartedly in his college days) broke things down almost exclusively to their most abstract concepts before building back toward concrete ideas and tended to look down on any economist who only examined things as they appeared. Prior to this I had some vague notion that maybe I could eventually read Marx and understand the root texts of socialism/communism, but according to Sowell, there’s a lot of pre-requisite reading involved in really understanding what Marx & Engels were talking about. He also criticized most interpreters of not bothering to do their homework on surrounding texts and that many have mangled some of Marx’s points. I was not able to make it past chapter two of this book because I was floundering pretty hard. It’s a little discouraging to feel the limits of my comprehension so sharply. I’m going to take a break with some fiction.

Video Games

Bendy and the Ink Machine. Want to talk about being late to the bandwagon? I mean, I got on the bandwagon when everyone was talking about it, but then I got through chapter 3 and there was a graphics reboot, so I started playing from the top and then kind of… dropped off? Never got past chapter 3. Finally, I felt like I was in a good place and could take the jump scares, so I blasted through the first three chapters in about a night. Then for the next couple days I played through the last two chapters. I have to say, chapter 4 is my favorite and has probably the most disturbing image that, while disturbing, was epic and fantastic in its own creepy way (merry-go-round-and-round, anybody?). I didn’t really understand the ending, but there were some interesting theories to be found on Youtube about what it all means. This was an enjoyable game for someone like me who can’t really handle high level horror and isn’t too adept with controls because it had simple controls and the horror was… toned down, I’d say. I played through Soma and I tried (and absolutely ditched) Amnesia, and Bendy is at about the level of horror I can deal with. Good game.

Confess My Love. Started and ditched it. I was very, very annoyed at the girl by five rejections. In the end, I rejected HER by uninstalling the game.

Movies

Wolfwalkers. *inarticulate noises* f-f-found family…. nnngh…. *gentle sobbing*

[youngboy-oldmind]

IN DEPTH REVIEW- DAMN Part III

I took a break from this series for March (Women’s History Month) and then had a surge of other projects to listen to in April. But I’m back with an in depth review DAMN, specifically two sister tracks, “PRIDE” and “HUMBLE”.

These two tracks address Kendrick wrestling pride. One side of the coin has him hating his temptation to feed into pride and embrace those emotions. The other side has him proudly bragging about himself and establishing others as below him. I mentioned in a previous review this album has a bipolar aura, and there’s no better example than these two tracks that have him accepting and rejecting this biblical sin. 

PRIDE

“PRIDE” continues the mellow sound of the previous track “LOYALTY”. We hear a vocal of Bekon stating “Love’s gonna get you killed. But pride’s gonna be the death of you and me” with “you and me” echoing into the transition to the change in instrumental. Then we hear the chorus where Kendrick and guest singer Steve Lacy state they weren’t taught to share or care, but in a perfect world they definitely would. Then we get a couple of verses where Kendrick discusses his conflict between embracing or rejecting pride. He discusses the role pride has in his music, fame, relationships, and social status.

The instrumental is one of the most dreary on the album. The moaning inflections give an angelic yet sad aura throughout the song. Like even the lighthearted, supernatural forces see this conflict as unsolvable and depressing. Kendrick’s duality is also expressed by his voice gradients of high pitched to low pitch.

You can feel Kendrick’s internal conflict regarding pride. Continuing the biblical themes of this project, especially a common visited idea of fearing futility in avoiding damnation. He mentions several times how he would have less pride in a perfect world, but since a perfect world is impossible, he’s navigating being the best person in an environment that fosters the worst. An interesting concept he explores in this track is “faking humble”. He embraces the fact he is one of the best rappers today, and arguably one of the best ever. Pretending he isn’t wouldn’t be humble, it would just be dishonest. Yet, he feels conflicting in taking pride in his status while acknowledging it is accurate and well earned. He complicates this sentiment into an unsolvable problem. That carries into the next song.

HUMBLE

“HUMBLE” completely counters the sentiments of the previous track. Kendrick unwaveringly boasts about himself. He talks about how he could murk somebody without the influence of drugs and alcohol. He is real while others fabricate. He has unparalleled connections to influential people. And ultimately has bragging rights, an ironic take on a song called “HUMBLE”. But, I’m 100% sure this was intentional.

The production on this record was mind boggling as well. We hear a very hasty “nobody pray for me” which usually indicates a more chaotic cut off this record. And the super dark piano melody intensified this track. The music video is also something to behold; I could make a whole separate post just analyzing the music video.

For a song boasting at this magnitude, one would think it would be difficult to reach any kind of lyrical complexity. But Kendrick still delivers plenty of lines that took multiple listens just to fully comprehend what he’s saying as well as the layers beneath it. My favorite of this are the first four lines in the first verse.

“Ayy, I remember syrup sandwiches and crime allowances

Finesse a n**** with some counterfeits, but now I'm countin’ this

Parmesan where my accountant lives, in fact I'm downin' this

Dusse with my boo bae tastes like Kool-Aid for the analysts”

I had to listen to these lines at least 5 times to figure out what all this means. But I finally was able to make sense of it all. First, the sentence structure is broken to create the rhyme and syllable scheme. So to understand better, it might be easier to read it in a sentence/paragraph structure.

“I remember syrup sandwiches and crime allowances, finesse a n**** with some counterfeits. 

But now I'm countin’ this parmesan where my accountant lives. 

In fact I'm downin' this Dusse with my boo bae, tastes like Kool-Aid for the analysts”

Here we get a brief narrative telling the origin story of Kendrick compared to where he is today. He went from poor food (syrup sandwiches), and earning money from counterfeiting and crime, to counting Parmesan (aka cheese aka slang for money) with his accountant. To further the point, he mentions he’s drinking Dusse with his “boo bae”. Dusse, an expensive cognac, is often referred to in hip hop to reflect wealth and high status. The last line changes from a narrative to a commentary on analysts and critics. “Dusse with my boo bae tastes like Kool Aid for the analysts”. This line suggests that analysts drink Dusse and treat it like Kool AId. Metaphorically speaking. 

Analysts will receive a very layered, complex, high quality message from Kendrick yet they summarize it as promoting violence and brutality. This idea was explored in the end of “BLOOD” with the fox news criticizing Kendrick Lamar for his lyrics on “Alright” off To Pimp A Butterfly. They generalized his sound and music as negative propaganda. It isn’t a coincidence that he used Dusse and Kool Aid as the drinks in the metaphor since both are associated with the black community. Someone who is stereotypical or racist may unjustly associate Kool Aid with people of color.

I read another analysis that stated the usage of Kool Aid refers to the well known phrase in the black community “all in the Kool Aid and don’t know the flavor”. Basically meaning forming an opinion or judgement without being aware of the full context your passing judgement upon. This analysis makes sense, especially in the context of these lines. Kendrick gives a story of where he’s coming from and analysts make judgement without knowing his past. I don’t take credit for this analysis, but I agree with it.

“HUMBLE” is a very intense track. And I only analyzed four of the many lines in this record. This entire album is layered and littered with messages. This track matches that energy. As Kendrick put it:

“There’s levels to it, you and I know. B**** be, humble”

Part IV Coming Soon

[theparanormalperiodical]

The REAL Story Behind The Omen (1976) And The 7 Most Terrifying Omens You Should Definitely Know About

You don't get much irony in horror.

You get buckets of fake blood, you get lashings of sexism with subtle notes of transphobia, and you have dozens of plot holes to get twisted up in. But The Omen (1976) in a very dark, very deathy way, was ironic.

Somehow a film about the rise of the Antichrist - AKA the end of the world - would be accompanied by wild animal attacks, sudden deaths, and even a decapitation. Yep, The Omen was, well, an omen. In fact, this cult classic horror flick is known as one of the most cursed films to date as a result of the story put to the screen and the events that took place behind it.

But the infamous tales surrounding this movie is not the only time an omen has preceded horrific events. In fact, we've been searching for signs of what is to come for millennia. Some of these signs still haunt our darkest nightmares.

You need to look out for them.

Today we will be determining just how accurate the portrayal of The Omen is to the prophecies of the Antichrist, the spooky events that took place behind the camera, and any other signs of death or misfortune you should be wary of.

*crow caws in the distance*

First, let's recap The Omen

The Bible is undoubtedly the best-selling book of all time. And, just like many other chart-topping hits, it’s been turned into a whole host of films. Each has suffered its own onslaught of criticism for its unique take on scripture.

The Omen is one of them.

But The Omen doesn’t follow Jesus’ life story, nor does it CGI various jungle animals onto Noah’s ark. It follows the Antichrist from birth to demise across 3 films (including a made-for-TV Canadian movie which we’ve all agreed to not talk about). It charts the rise of Damien as he develops his paranormal powers and loosely fulfils the prophecies set out for the Devil’s spawn.

Our story starts at his mysterious birth: after a woman has a stillborn child, her husband swaps it for a child whose mother died at birth. When Damien is just 5 years old strange things begin to occur. Animals act strangely around him, various aggressive dogs appear - oh, and Damien’s nanny rudely interrupts his birthday party by throwing herself out of a window with a noose around her neck.

Enter a new nanny who is less Mary Poppins and more Mary Most-definitely-a-satanist-who-wants-to-protect-Damien-and-overthrow-Christ. Things get worse (yes, it’s possible) when everyone around Damien begins to slowly work out that he may or may not be the Antichrist and in turn get killed in assorted horrific - but also mildly hysterical - ways.

It’s the father of Damien (the adoptive one, not the actual Devil) who leads the investigation into his origins. He traces back Damien’s origins back to his dead mother’s grave. Turns out she was a jackal.

Enter the Antichrist expert - he gives Damien’s father the low-down on dealing with demonic children, and explains that the naughty-step is simply not enough. He has to be killed on hallowed ground with a collection of knives I’m pretty sure I saw on Antiques Roadshow. He takes the Daggers of Megiddo and his infant son into a local church, forces him onto the altar and prepares to kill him.

The police shoot him before he can do this.

The following films chase up the rest of Damien’s short but eventful life and include: one sex scene, one King Herod-inspired ‘kill all babies born on this day cause one of ‘em is Jesus’, and even a last minute cameo by Christ himself.

Unlike most horror franchises, however, The Omen is not based on some paranormal investigation or a forgotten urban legend - the story inspiring it is kept very close to the hearts of many around the world. It’s this troubling premise which makes this film one of the most terrifying to date. Question is, just how accurate is The Omen to the actual end of days forecasted by Christians?

How accurate was The Omen to actual prophecies regarding the Antichrist?

Like most things mentioned in The Bible and other religious texts, things are typically vague or lost in translation. This means many concepts and stories have been rewritten and rethought in numerous different ways.

The Omen kinda had to connect the dots.

But there are a few defining features of Damien and his life story which are uncomfortably close to what might just be the apocalypse…

First, the Antichrist is supposed to be born as the opposite of Christ: he is not born of God and a virgin, but of Satan and a ‘whore’. Whilst The Omen appears to be slut-shaming a jackal, we do know Damien is the spawn of Satan. His animal mother (which is referenced later in the franchise when Damien is discovered to have Jackal bone marrow cells) is a reference to Jackals’ biblical presence as tricksters.

The Omen also sticks to the dominant line of thought on Damien’s career path. The Antichrist is mentioned 3 times in the New Testament and follows the end of the world, something we see in the dying moments of the final film: the Book of Revelation and other prophetic texts claim he will rule for 7 years before being defeated by Christ/Angel Gabriel’s army. He will be a tyrant, a trickster, rise to power, and (perhaps) claim he is a messiah.

The Omen is an abridged version of this. Damien is at one point a CEO and then an ambassador to the US before he sees an image of Christ when he gives out his last breath.

But here’s the thing.

Everyone has a different take on how the Antichrist will take his first steps to almighty power before being dethroned by the JC. And everyone has a different take on who it is.

Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, the Pope (I’m pretty sure all of the popes have been accused of being the Antichrist), Prince William… Type in a celebrity name - literally any celebrity name - and the word ‘antichrist’ into Google and there will be “proof” of Kate Hudson using satanic subliminal messaging in How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days. By all accounts The Omen is just another version of how the Antichrist could rise and fall.

The Omen does include a few other suitably-satanic references: the Daggers of Megiddo don’t actually exist according to lore, but are associated with the end of the world. Megiddo is the site of the final battle between the Antichrist and Jesus Christ as mentioned in the Book of Revelation. Its Greek name was even ‘Armageddon’.

We also see throughout the franchise a satanist plot to ensure the Antichrist grows up safely and is ready to do his dark bidding. Modern theorists claim the Antichrist will arrive hand-in-hand with a satanic plot to overturn the Christian faith.

The Omen effectively charts out how the world might end. But for many people working on the film, they were experiencing hell in their own way.

What really happened on the set of The Omen?

An omen is defined as a phenomenon that predicts and hints at the future, or signals a change. The birth and rise of the Antichrist probably fits the definition as it signals the Second Coming of Christ, Judgement Day, and numerous other events anticipated by Christians across the globe. It is an omen for the end of the world.

Hell, it’s the ultimate omen. It doesn’t get more omen-ny than that.

But in some weird omen-ception, The Omen was an omen for the people producing the film. *squints in confusion*

Basics, it is now known as one of the most cursed movie sets ever. And here’s why.

Gregory Peck, the father of Damien, allegedly canceled his seat on a flight that would crash and kill everyone on board. When he did finally get on a plane and flew to England his plane was struck by lightning. The film’s writer experienced the same thing on a separate flight days after Peck’s.

The producers and some actors also nearly attended a restaurant one evening when it was destroyed in an explosion. One of these same producers, Mace Neufeld, also happened to check out early from a hotel in London which was blown up by the IRA shortly after.

The special effects designer witnessed traumatic events mirroring the movie far too closely, too: his wife was decapitated in a car crash, a similar event to one we see in the film. Even an animal trainer used for a scene from which Baboons act wildly and crazed around Damien was killed after being mauled by a tiger.

Yeah.

It’s all very ommeny.

But what are the other omens you should be looking out for?

The 7 omens you should most definitely be watching out for

#1 - Crows

All films or TV shows that feature death or war also feature crows. Their fateful cawing has historically been an omen of misfortune or death and is used for foreshadowing as obvious as the colour black. A single crow is an omen of bad luck - a murder of crows (more than five) is an omen of death or illness for either you or someone you know.

In ancient times birds were common omens and it was the type of bird which signaled different positive and negative changes. Crows in particular were believed to be messengers between the mortal world and the afterlife. Witches were also believed to use crows to cast their death spells.

They have since gained a reputation for being cunning and intelligent creatures, much like the jackal mother of Damien in The Omen.

#2 - Owls

I told you - we are convinced birds bring death.

Much like crows, owls are very deathy. Walking under a tree and hear an owl hoot? You or a family member are gon’ die. One lands on your roof? Death is a-coming.

Owls are even historically believed to herald doom with one Roman Emperor - Antonius - dying after an owl was seen perched above his bedroom door. They are considered wise creatures according to ancient civilisations, as if they know something about the future we do not.

The Welsh, on the other hand, believed they bring fertility. If an owl hoot is heard by a pregnant woman she will have an easy labour.

#3 - Doppelgangers

According to German and Irish folklore, seeing an ‘exact replica’ of you born to different parents is a sign of your death. If your family members or your friends see one, beware of impending danger.

These ‘double-goers’ are considered evil twins in folklore. If you spoke to your doppelganger, they’d try and trick you and plan evil ideas in your mind.

Breton and Cornish folklore claim they are Ankou, servants of death himself who thus personify it.

#4 - Death Knocks Thrice

Let’s set the scene: you’ve just ordered a Nandos and you hear the knock at the door. But instead of a halloumi-topped beanie burger, you open the front door to no one.

Rather than a delicious meal you will soon experience death.

Irish, Scottish, and Native American communities follow this folklore and it is referenced in many different films including The Conjuring. The Perron family hear continuous knocking which comes in threes - the Warrens, however, claim it is a demonic entity or spirit mocking the holy trinity.

#5 - Phantom funerals

Funerals normally come after the omen of death, you know, when the actual ‘death’ part has occurred. But fake funerals led by ghosts are an omen of the death of a loved one. They will take the same place and same route of the actual funeral, however.

If you do see one, however, don’t look into the casket; otherwise, it’ll be your own.

(Dun dun duuuh)

It is believed they are sent by fairies who are infamous for causing mischief. A similar phenomenon, ‘the tolaeth before the coffin’, is when one hears the coffin making process or the funeral take place.

#6 - Solar eclipses

We now have the benefit of science and astrology to tell us that sometimes it gets really dark and really cold in the middle of the day. But way back when, the sun effectively disappearing for a few moments was rather more terrifying.

Ancient civilisations believed it was a warning from pissed off gods that they were going to exact some revenge and send some impending danger or death. Most cultures even believed a folkloric beast or native animal was eating the sun. In fact, that’s why many communities would bang pots or pans together during eclipses to scare away the demon doing it.

They are still considered a mysterious sign something bad is about to go down.

#7 - Black butterflies

We end on an omen I’m probably going to incorporate into my aesthetic for 2021. A black butterfly is considered to be a symbol of misfortune and death in some cultures and a positive sign for others. It could also equate to a less lethal ‘death’ - that is the death of a relationship or a project.

It can thus be considered an omen of renewal or rebirth. And lord knows we all need that for next year.

Have you ever seen an omen?

Let me know in a comment below.

If you liked this post make sure you like, reblog, and then hit follow. I post a new article on the paranormal every Saturday and a new ghost story everyday!

*flies away with the black butterflies*

[ironwoman359]

Can you explain the different beliefs of the different dominations of Christians? Like, the big differences I mean.

Well, I can’t accurately tell you what denomination neccessarily believes what, as I only really have first hand experience with two, but I can tell you what those different beliefs would be. A good way to find out what a specific denomination believes about an issue is ot look at their official website, but also, individual churches and congregations may hold different views than the official stance of the denomination they’re a part of, as many Methodist (i think it was) churches did when the Methodist leadership doubled down on their anti-LGBT stance. With that being said, here are some of the different teachings you may find across denominations:

Catholic vs. Protestant: 

While all Christians believe God to be Sovreign, the Catholic church tends to take reverence for God to the point of nigh unapproachability. When Catholics pray to saints, they are asking the saint to take their petitions before God in their stead, while a Protestant would just ask God directly. When Catholics go to confessional, they are confessing their sins to a priest and asking him to present them before God and ask forgiveness, while a Protestant would confess to God and ask for forgiveness directly. In general, Catholic churches tend to be more ritualistic (though there are protestant churches like that too, lutherans, for instance) and approach God with less familiarity than Protestant Churches. 

Calvinist vs. Wesleyan: 

In Protestant belief, there are two main schools of thought you’re likely to find, Calvinism and Wesleyanism. The differences between them get into very academic langauge that’s sometimes hard to explain, but I’ll do my best to explain. The big stickler of disagreement comes in the ideas of “Unconditional Election ” and “Irresistable Grace.” 

Undoncitional Election refers to the teaching that before God created the world, He in His infinite knowledge pre-selceted those who would be saved from sin and who would be condemed to the just punishment for their sins. 

Wesleyans, on the other hand, believe that Jesus’s atonement was for all people. Yes, God in His omnipotence knows who will and will not accpet His grace, but He still leaves it to the individual’s free will to make that decision. 

Irresistable Grace teaches that to those God has pre-selected for salvation, there is no resisting the call of the Holy Spirit. 

Wesleyans, since they believe that anybody could be saved, that the pull of the Holy Spirit is not irresistable, as humanity has been given the free will to accept or reject salvation. 

Another more minor disagreement between Calvinsim and Wesleyanism is the “once saved, always saved” argument. 

Since Cavlinists believe in Unconditional Election, they also believe in “Perseverance of the Saints,” which is the belief that if you are Saved you cannot ever lose your faith (you also don’t necessarily have to be a Calvinist to believe that once you are saved you can’t ever lose that salvation). 

Wesleyan teachings, on the other hand, state that Salvation can be lost, as continued salvation is conditional upon continued faith. Aka, someone who once had a strong and steadfast faith would have been saved at that point in their life, but if they lose their faith or walk away from it at some point, they have lost that salvation (though the arms of God are always open to welcome them back). 

The other points of Calvinism and Wesleyanism don’t necessarily contradict each other, and so aren’t worth pointing out, but as you can see the differences are pretty drastic, and it’s easy to see how these different ideas could have sparked different sects of churches.

Communion/The Eucharist: 

There are esentially two views on Holy Communion: that Jesus’s presence in the bread and wine is literal, or that His presence is symbolic. 

For Catholics, they take it to the literal extreme: Transubstantiation, which is the act of changing the substances of bread and wine into the substances of the Body and Blood of Christ. 

Most Protestants who believe in Jesus’s literal presence in the elements do not take it that literally, believing more along the lines of, just as the Holy Spirit is present in the waters of baptism and the water itself is not what’s special, Jesus is present in the elements of communion and it is not the bread/wine itself that is special. 

Then, there is the belief that communion is more a ceremonial remembrance of Jesus’s last supper and a communal declaration of faith.

While I personally don’t believe in Transubstantiation, I think that any of these interpretations of Jesus’s words at the last supper are valid, and that God cares more that the community of believers celebrate the Eucharist together than He does about the minutia of it.

Also some churches practice “open communion” meaning that any believer in Christ regardless of views on the meal may take communion at their church, while others practice “closed communion,” meaning you must either be a member of their denomination or have spoken with the pastor before the sacrament to confirm that your beliefs line up with the church’s before taking communion with the congregation.

Also also most churches have different ages they start children taking communion at, Catholics it’s around 6 years old I think, while I as a Lutheran had to take half a year of catechism classes and be Confirmed before I could start taking it, those classes begin around age 12.  

The Means of Grace

The Means of Grace refers to how salvation is achieved. In this, Calvinists and Wesleyans agree: there is nothing humanity can do to achieve salvation, it is solely through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ that humanity is granted Salvation. This belief is often referred to as “By Grace Alone,” or “Saved by Grace,” as their is nothing that a person could do to achieve Salvation, it’s all through God’s gift of Grace. 

The other view of Salvation is that it is achieved through Good Works, aka, what most non-christians probably think all Christians believe: If you are a Good Person and do Good Things you will go to heaven, but if you do Bad Things and don’t repent, you’ll go to hell. Most Christian theologians will tell you that this is False Doctrine, but there are some who insist that Good Works are a part of Salvation. Most, however, say that this does not line up with the Bible’s teachings.

The counter to Salvation by Works is that Good Works are not a means of Salvation, but rather evidence of it. Yes, a Christain should strive to do good works, because Jesus commanded us to love one another and to help each other, but if you’re doing these things because you think they will save you, you are missing the point. I personally really like the way a VeggieTales cartoon about St. Nicholas put it once, actually. Nick to a nun feeding the poor: “Do you do that to feel happy?” The nun: “Oh, no. I do it because I am happy.”

Other Differences

Baptism: Namely, should you baptize babies? Catholics and Lutherans and others say yes, Nazarenes and Baptists and others say no!

Biblical Inspiration: was the Bible 100% dictated to man by God and thus absolutely flawless (ie, all of the bible is what God said word for word), 100% inspired by God and thus flawless but not dictated directly (ie, the different writers used their own words and voices to write what was inspired to them), Inspired by God but written by man and thus subject to the trappings of humanity and possibly flawed in places? Vote now on your phones. 

Ordination: Who gets to be a pastor? Can women be pastors? Are youth ministers, worship ministers, and other types of minsiters called pastors or are they called something different? 

The End Times: Is the Rapture a thing, or what?

Creation: How literal is genesis exactly?

Queer Issues: A lovely can of worms that no one seems to be able to agree on and which is sometimes the sole reason for a denominational split (The Evangelical Lutheran Chruch of America split into two factions when they disagreed on whether or not gay people should be allowed to be ordained ministers. There’s now one faction of that church that does ordain gay people and one that doesn’t). 

Nondenominational Churches

Some bodies of believers have said “screw that” to all the crazy infinitesimal differences in theology between all the denominatons and said “We are simply Christains.” Now, each nondenominational church will likely have its own stance on each of the issues I’ve mentioned here, they just have chosen not to identify with any larger denomination, and if you’re church hunting and go to a nondenominational church, you’ll probably have to talk to hte pastor/look at their website to find out what they say about all these things. 

Again, for me at the end of the day, I hold my own beliefs about these issues, but concede that for about 95% of them, where you fall doesn’t matter (for me, the lines that I draw are the means of grace and unconditional election; I believe that anyone can be saved and that we are saved by grace alone), what matters is that if you believe in God and have accepted Jesus into your life, you are a Christian, and my sibling in Christ. Hope this answered some of your questions, and again, I’m always happy to provide more clarification/talk about this stuff! (can you tell I enjoyed the theology classes I had to take in college?)