#i mean obviously i've been thinking this for a while given i wrote it into fic

[pynkhues]

Okay, out of yoga and just because I was percolating on it as I was incorrectly using meditation at the end of the class, haha, but I do think the show is also saying something very specific when it has Louis unable to create art instantly turn around and seek to own, then profit off it without any respect for the artist who made it.

[sophieinwonderland]

Alright, Let's Go Debunk A Sysmed in Denial!

There are three types? Ooh! Is this going to be about my Headmate Foundations model?

Oh... Nope. I guess that would have required braincells.

I'm just going to assume that "factive disorder" is a Medically Unrecognized Disorder that involves forming a lot of introjects of real people. 🤷‍♀️

Wait! No! Please tell me all about this disorder I've never heard of!

Open the can of worms! 🙏

I believe they meant "factitious disorder" but it's not a typo when it happens twice. It's having no idea what you're talking about.

Like????

There are no examples given here.

Is your research in the room with us?

Anyway, this is false.

The most popular endogenic community is the tulpamancy community, and it's been the subject of extensive research.

For anyone who doesn't know, tulpamancy is a primarily psychological practice that involves creating headmates. It has been acknowledged as a real psychological phenomenon by multiple doctors, including Dr. Samuel Veissiere, a psychiatry professor at McGill University, who wrote the following paper on tulpamancy.

There is also an ongoing study conducted by Dr. Michael Lifshitz that has shown neurological changes during partial possession in tulpamancy.

The existence of tulpamancy, a practice of creating headmates, has been acknowledged by multiple doctors.

Absolutely no doctors have ever claimed that it's fake.

Way to undercut your whole argument with that last line!

Anyway, in one study of tulpamancers, 78% reported positive impacts on their mental health, and 91% reported positive impacts on their overall lives.

So tulpamancy is obviously beneficial according to these statistics.

And when the OP is even admitting they'd be worse off as a singlet (and a majority of people with DID have expressed that they'd miss their alters if they were gone), I just don't think this argument has any merit at all.

Wanting to be a system is perfectly valid.

What the Hell do you consider "actual" endogenic systems???

You mean like, people who were born as systems?

So... not that either???

What then???

That's... trauma...

I mean, bullying isn't necessarily going to be traumatic for everyone but you're describing bullying that's severe enough to cause PTSD symptoms.

If the only endogenic systems you support are the ones whose systems were caused by trauma, then you aren't pro-endo.

Are you SURE your aren't a troll blog??????

Because somehow, calling yourself "pro-endo" while the only "endogenic" systems you believe in are ones you don't think their trauma is valid enough to count as real trauma is the worst possible position in all of syscourse!

Ugh! Do you even know enough of plural history to realize that the endogenic community branched out of the natural multiples? People who believed their multiplicity was entirely natural???

If this isn't a troll blog, I feel kind of bad for you. Because at least most other anti-endos are smart enough to realize they're anti-endos.

[wetcatspellcaster]

2024 fic wrapped

I was tagged by @cursedhaglette to do this tag-game, but I found the focus on stats made me a little uncomfortable! (also, no one needs to know how many words I wrote while having multiple breakdowns last year, truly).

But, I didn't want to ignore Mia's tag! so instead, I'm going to take @cinnamontails-ff wrapped tag-game, just bc I sympathise with the logic and I like this set of questions a lot more!

Thank you Cin for coming up with questions that don't focus so much on productivity. And thank you again, Mia, for including me in the original game :) hopefully this is an acceptable substitute!

What's been your biggest learning point this past year?

I guess, what it feels like to be a 'popular' author - and the answer is, 'both good and bad, in fact, extremely mixed'. Obviously, many parts of it are wonderful: more people interacted with my work in the height of the BG3 fandom than I've ever had before, I felt like my writing mattered and I enjoyed every conversation I had about it. I also felt under a lot more scrutiny, very hyperaware of how I acted in 'public' (ie. on this blog), and aware of the people I'd disappoint with the directions I took my stories and what I chose to include. I also had to watch the baffling half-life of modern fandom! BG3's 6 month peak and 1yr trough was wild to me, as someone who joined dragon age 8yrs after the game was released. But I've decided I actually really like the middle-road of interaction, with much less noise and dedicated, recurring readers who I recognise and who make me smile and laugh every single time they comment or tag my work. I'll probably never experience whatever the fuck Pieces was ever again, and I'm honestly... ok with that, currently? Not to sound awful, but I'm not sure I liked it lmao.

In terms of my writing, my biggest learning point was "you're good at this, actually". Chanting this to myself in the mirror while I white-knuckle the sink.

How has your writing developed this past year?

I'm genuinely not certain. Pieces was certainly my most ambitious story yet, but a lot of the outlining of that took place in 2023 so it feels like the development happened then... though I suppose landing the dismount was something I worked very hard to do. I guess the main development this year was that a lot of what I wrote was extremely, extremely angsty. I wrote Pieces, I wrote This Is Not A Love Story. and I gave Rosalie to Orin :))))) this doesn't necessarily surprise me, given the way my writing often reflects things I'm dealing with in my life, and I've been trying to both recover from - and desparately stave off a relapse into - depression. I think that I can see why I keep making characters into the worst versions of themselves (this goes for Astarion, Rosalie - bc Pieces Rosalie is NOT in a good place, Gale and my Durge) and then watching them claw their way back to happiness in the hope of proving to myself that that's possible.

But jfc, it all got a little heavy. I've decided that 2025 is the Year of the Rom Com™.

Good writing habits?

Committing myself exclusively to what I want to read and sticking to my guns - which means I actually finish the thing, rather than getting into my own head about it.

Stretching my comfort zone a little (writing something vaguely smutty, writing something very different in style, switching genres for a bit) without losing my own voice.

Not falling into any jealousy/existential crises about my own writing, which I guess is much easier when you're experiencing a bout of 'success', but I've managed to keep it up even after the success began tailing off :)

I wrote a lot of words last year. I'm not putting the stat down but god. It was a lot.

Bad writing habits?

Overwriting everything. Everything. All the time. Party Favours was so short!!! I used to write novellas!!! Why are my chapters so fucking long now?????

Having multiple fic wips when I promised myself I'd wind down fanfic and start writing original work again :')

I wrote a lot of words last year. I think I did this bc I was extremely unhappy, and productivity is how I define myself. when I feel bad, I write and post bc it makes me feel good. And I felt very bad this year. So anyway, I think my wordcount is both a good thing and also a wee cry for help :'))))

Favorite thing you wrote?

Chapter Twenty-Three of Pieces (Mephistopheles consultation and my Ascended!Astarion meta-reveal)

Chapter Four of Cooler Than Me (putting the blorbos in a formal-wear situation)

I also liked my sex scene in Pieces :') it was tame but it was written for me specifically x

Favorite reads?

for fic!

long summer days can lead to lazy vices by @pouroverpaloma

eyes like fire by demonsbanebard

only once by @bearhugsandshrugs

and of course stitched into your sleeve by the bestie (@violacae)!!! my first ever gift fic!!!

for literature!

The Scholar and the Last Faerie Door by HG Parry

Long Live Evil by Sarah Rees Brennan

Deeplight by Frances Hardinge

Biggest win?

god. I'm endlessly grateful for my gift fic and for my fanart, but... it's got to be bookbindings. I used to daydream, about somebody ever wanting to have my fic bound, but I thought it was impossible and would never happen! I now know of 3 copies of my work that exist in the world :D and the ones I've seen were fucking gorgeous, like oh my fucking god.

I am also very proud I finished Pieces! It was my most ambitious project, and writing the ending presented even more challenges than I expected - as I discovered how much you write yourself into a corner when you resoul Astarion. I still haven't managed to read the completed work in full yet, but I'm proud it exists :)

Goals for the new year?

finish outstanding wips, and then see where my writing takes me next. I want to write original work, but I also don't want to make it a resolution. As long as I continue to enjoy writing, that's what matters most to me!

Your favorite words of the year, aka the words you check each chapter for, making sure you didn't repeat them 788 times?

I think I use '[x character] froze' a lot, but rather than focusing on my repetitions I want to focus on some of my favourite turns of phrase that I managed to pull from the ether! :)

'before her brief courtship with death threatened to become a commitment' - from the risk and the reward

'We can all still be butchered. We cut away the parts of ourselves to make us fit' - from this is a love story.

"He played an androgynous, morally-grey vampire, of indeterminate gender! In a nice coat! Anyone who had two working eyes and a relevant Kinsey Score read the porn, back in the day!” - from cooler than me

What are you excited for in the new year?

act 3 astarion characterisation for honest lie! the first big romance moment in cooler than me! and then just romcoms! 2025 is the year of the romcom! I want to write exclusively happy things!!!!

tagging: @cursedhaglette (as it's a different set of questions lmao), @imscissorbladez, @violacae, @eraserspiral, @scaryanneee, @sitting-in-the-sink, @pricemarshfield, @pouroverpaloma and anyone else who wants to give this a whirl. anyone is welcome, and if you tag me in it I'll share x

[steddieas-shegoes]

116. “you wrote me a song?” any rating! 💕💕💕

I really thought you'd go with something so obviously smutty just based off of you breaking my brain so often, but this is such a soft prompt. I made it sweet and also a little smutty (barely) 💖

Rated M | tags: modern au, rockstar eddie, making out, light frottage, fade to black sex

🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶

Eddie being holed up in his music room for hours is normal.

That's what Steve's telling himself, at least.

But ever since the boys had been back from their tour, Eddie had been...weird.

It wasn't necessarily bad, at least not at first, but the last few days had seen Eddie being unusually quiet and withdrawn, his mind clearly elsewhere while they ate breakfast together before he disappeared for most of the day. He would appear again by dinner, usually tired, and always a bit snappy, like he didn't want to be around anyone.

Steve recognized it, but didn't quite place it until today.

He was working on a song.

Eddie was like this the last time a song wouldn't translate from his head to the instruments or the paper.

It didn't make it easier to deal with feeling so alone in their home, especially not when he'd spent a lot of the last four months alone while he was on tour.

"That's it," he said to himself as he stood up from the couch.

He walked to Eddie's music room and knocked on the door, three knocks, pause, two knocks, just like always.

Their version of 'I'm checking on you, I'm worried, let me in.'

Eddie opened the door, dark circles under his eyes.

"Break time," Steve said, grabbing Eddie's hand and pulling him from the room, ignoring the sputtering protests.

"Stevie, no. I gotta-"

"No you don't. You can come with me for a bit."

"No. You don't understand, I-"

"No, you don't understand." Steve stopped and turned to look at him, hands on his hips. "I've been mostly alone for months and I thought having you back would mean I have you back. But you've been closing yourself into that room for days now and I miss you. I miss you."

Eddie's face falls, Steve's hands fall, and they both fall into each other.

Eddie's arms are wrapping around his waist as Steve lets out a sob.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart, I didn't mean to make you miss me," Eddie whispered into his ear, kissing his temple, his jaw, his cheek. "I'm right here, love. I'm sorry."

Steve nodded, accepting the apologies, the kisses, the love he was being given. He wasn't ashamed about needing it, not anymore. Eddie made sure he never felt like he couldn't ask for the attention he wanted.

"What's got you so stressed in there?" Steve finally asked, voice muffled against Eddie's shoulder.

"C'mon, I should probably just show you," Eddie pulled away, tugging Steve back towards the music room.

Once inside, Steve was led to the couch and given a peck on the lips.

Eddie sat down at his keyboard and cracked his knuckles.

"I've been working on something since we were on tour, but I thought the reason I couldn't get further was because of my environment. But I've been home for days and it's not getting better. Every time I think I'm onto something, I lose it or it doesn't come out right or it doesn't fit with the rest," Eddie explained, gesturing wildly.

Steve watched with wide eyes. He always loved watching Eddie's passion flow through his limbs the same way it flowed through his words. It was one of the things that made him fall in love with him.

"Show me what you've got so far, then," Steve gestured for him to start playing.

Eddie wasn't one to hold back, but he hesitated now.

It only lasted a moment though, his fingers starting to flow over the keyboard and his voice starting to sing.

It was beautiful, and nothing like what Steve had expected, nothing like what Corroded Coffin normally performed.

The words were romantic, hidden behind a yearning, something Steve hadn't heard Eddie write since before they were together.

And then he sang a line that would've knocked Steve to his knees if he'd been standing.

"It's with a curse I leave you, it's with a curse I love you I can't find my way back to you tonight"

Steve immediately flashed back to one night in the middle of the tour, when Eddie had called him right after a show, something he only did when the show didn't go as well as he hoped.

He'd complained about the storms delaying their start time nearly an hour, and how Gareth was offbeat for half of a song, and how the fans didn't seem as into it as usual. And when he went to hang up, he said "I wish I could find my way back to you tonight."

Steve had been almost asleep by that point, but the sung line sparked the memory.

Steve stood and walked over to Eddie, cupping his face in his hands and swiping his thumbs across his cheeks.

"You found your way back to me now, though, baby. You always do," he said.

Eddie pulled his hands from the keyboard and pulled Steve down into his lap.

"I needed you then. I started writing this that night. Sorry it's not finished yet."

"You...you wrote this for me?" Steve asked, realizing now that there was a reason why he used that line.

Steve wasn't stupid, but sometimes he was a little slow.

"Yeah, sweetheart. I know you miss me when I'm gone, but you have no idea how much I miss you."

Steve knew, or thought he knew, that Eddie missed him. They talked every night before shows, and texted on Steve's lunch breaks and when he got off of work. But it always felt like Eddie got to stay busy enough not to think about missing him as much.

But this tour had been the first time Steve couldn't take much time off of work, only being able to attend a handful of shows throughout.

Normally, he spent more than half the tour with him.

Steve kissed him, hard.

Eddie grunted, surprised at the sudden intensity of Steve's lips on his, but didn't pull away. His hands gripped Steve's hips, leaving bruises as a reminder that Steve wouldn't actually need.

Eddie would be home with him for months now, enjoying the holidays together, visiting their friends and family as time allowed. He wouldn't have to leave for another tour until their next album was released the following year.

They had time.

But Steve's lips acted as if they only had tonight, his stomach already fluttering with need and anticipation of having those needs fulfilled.

Because Eddie would. Eddie always would.

He may not always be there, he may have to miss him, but he always got what he needed in the end.

The kissing turned messy, lips wet and spit on the corners of their mouths, desperate to keep sharing and tasting each other.

"Want you," Steve panted, bucking his hips forward so that his hard length finally got friction against Eddie's. "Please."

"Here?" Eddie asked, breathless.

"Anywhere, everywhere, doesn't matter."

"Oh my god. That's perfect!" Eddie pulled away, turning to the notepad on the sheet music stand.

Steve smacked his arm.

"I swear, Munson, if you don't focus on my extremely hard dick soon-"

"You're anywhere, everywhere But not here, not tonight"

Steve melted.

"That's good, Eds. It's really good."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Steve kissed his forehead, smiling into it as he felt Eddie's shoulders relax. "Now, will you please fuck me on this bench?"

Eddie laughed and bit his shoulder.

"If you insist."

[mermaidsirennikita]

frustrating levels of discourse continue happening on twt ugh https://x.com/lara_e_brown/status/1839303817256645101

Lol yeah, I've honestly just given up on reading takes like that because once you've seen one, you've seen 'em all.

It's an extremely shallow reading, using things like "pale", which you can in fact be while having a darker complexion, with both examples relating less to a physical appearance and more to his aspect in the moment (his face is "white" because he's scared; he's "pale and effeminate" because he's in a wan and weakened state). And I say "both" because you tend to come up with faaaar fewer examples of the text relating Heathcliff as pale than... not.

I also find it funny that this user uses Heathcliff marrying Isabella as an example of why he MUST be white, when Heathcliff and Isabella literally run away together because nobody wants them to be together, PARTICULARLY her brother, and this rips the Linton family asunder. Almost as if.......... it was............... breaking a taboo......................

Like, yeah! 18th century Yorkshire wouldn't have accepted that marriage. And if there's one thing we know about Heathcliff—if it's not accepted, he's not gonna do it.

One of the entire points of his character is that he lives against law and taboo and societal norms (while at the same time being deeply aware of the fact that his existence doesn't gel with them). In that thread, that user references the Byronic hero, with the name drawing from Lord Byron and his own literary fascinations. Byron was obsessed with taboo, lived to break them (most famously the taboo of sleeping with people of the same sex, and probably the taboo of incest as well... COME TO MY TED TALK TO DISCUSS HOW THAT COULD RELATE TO HEATHCLIFF, ALSO). One of the reasons why more recent scholarship (and I don't even mean super recent) surrounding Wuthering Heights has come to terms with the interpretation of Heathcliff as a man of color is that he does embody the taboo even more.

And obviously... some taboos (the incest one) exist for a reason. But the book also seems interested in questioning how much we really gain by treating someone (someone like Heathcliff) as other and wrong simply for existing. Again, we go into the cycle of abuse.

I also find it rather belittling of people to refer to general 18th and 19th century values when discussing how people "would have" seen Heathcliff, or interpreted the text. Because, for one thing—yeah! A lot of contemporary readers did not in fact Get It. Perhaps in part because they did have the biases that people like that user seem to believe would have prevented the author from exploring Heathcliff as a man of color.

... But if Emily Bronte thought exactly as the detractors of her novel (who condemned it as wicked and aberrant) did, she never would have written the book, I think. Who's to say, though? It's difficult for EITHER side to make leaps about what Emily knew or thought, because she is someone who didn't live very long, has been portrayed as an eccentric (and perhaps even maligned by Elizabeth Gaskell's portrayal of her) and definitely had something of an offbeat upbringing. We just don't have much directly from HER. So it's a bit rich to me to make assumptions about the kind of limited worldview she may have had on topics like race, when we really do not have a lot of definitive information about her worldview, but DO know that the book she wrote, which some theorize to be about a man of color, REALLY upset some conventional readers.

Like... why would you contextualize that book within a purely conventional reading when the entire reason why Wuthering Heights matters is that it defies convention?

I do shy away from using the word "canonical" to describe Heathcliff's race, because while I know what people mean when they say it (and I'm sure I've said it at some point) it's just a word choice that people like that user will latch on to. Like I've said before, there is no way to prove with 100% certainty Heathcliff's race either way. Which isn't to say that you have to do so to state that he's a man of color. It's just the kind of pedantic strategy people will use in threads like these.

And I'll notice, too, that she omits Nelly's line wherein she speculates that Heathcliff's mother could be Chinese or Indian. I mean, what's her take on that specificity combined with the lascar speculation? No mention of Liverpool relating to people... not... from America or Spain...?

I do worry sometimes that people see someone's major concentration (say, if someone has a BA in English or something, which for the record I don't) and go "Damn, that's end-all, be-all" A) it's not, there's more to research than getting a degree B) you could also use literal wikipedia footnotes to kickstart your own deeper dive into this, there are tons of people who've made careers discussing books like WH debating the issue C) having a degree of any level never kicks your bias.

To go back to my own degree... I knew old art historians who saw nothing gay at all in Michelangelo's work. You can know a lot about a lot, and it doesn't mean you have an open mind.

I think anyone can read WH, do some research about the era and Emily, and drawn their own conclusions. And you are just going to have to make your conclusions based on your own assessment. There is no smoking gun here, and there never will be because the smoking gun would be a living Emily Bronte willingly telling you what she meant.

And I didn't read Heathcliff as a person of color from the jump, for the record. I was thirteen when I read that book for the first time; I'm white; I picked that book in the context of it being a Great English Classic, and as far as I knew, those were all about white people. Because... that's what you were taught about WH at the time, at least where I was.

But when I was first introduced to that interpretation some time later, it was a literal "OH!" moment. Because like... yeah. There isn't a smoking gun for Dorian Gray's sexuality (and yes, we know a lot more about Oscar Wilde than we do about Emily Bronte; but the absence of knowledge of Emily's interests and attitudes doesn't mean we can assume she DIDN'T have an interest in writing Heathcliff as a person of color) but The Picture of Dorian Gray makes way more sense when you interpret his queerness for what it is. Wuthering Heights makes way more sense when you interpret Heathcliff's race for what it is.

[flightfoot]

Marinette Completed Angst Fic Reclist

I know some people really like this genre, so I figured I'd make a list for it! These will obviously all be completed, and none of them will be bashing fics, and PLEASE don't rec any fics on this post that are bashing fics, I don't want to see them.

Some of these will have my own commentary about the fic attached to it, for if I've put them on a previous reclist where I had that commentary written out. But a lot of the older fics won't.

For a fic to count for this, the angst Marinette goes through can't just be her being upset about what someone else is going through, though the angst of the fic doesn't only need to be hers, so long as she has her own angst which is a decently prominent part of the fic.

---

one does not love breathing by @wackus-bonkus-maximus

All of Paris watched as Hawkmoth murdered Chat Noir, taking the Black Cat Miraculous for himself. Ladybug swears revenge, but her enemy—and every miraculous in his possession—disappear without a trace.

Six years later, a new team of villains launches an attack for the last remaining Miraculous: Volpina, armed with new powers; Queen Bee, with questionable loyalty; Argos, the new holder of the Peacock Miraculous; and Cat Walker, who Ladybug hates the most.

Takes place after S4 - Strike Back.

This is a simply phenomenal fic. You get to explore a lot of different perspectives, like Felix, Kagami, Marinette, and Adrien’s, just to name a few, and see their different thought processes and plans and priorities, and how it can cause their plans to collide with each other, even when they all ultimately are aiming for a good outcome for everyone. The characters are pretty complex and can mess up at times, even when they’re doing things (or not doing things, looking at you Luka) with the best of intentions. It was a joy to read and a real nail-biter the whole time, I actually wrote a fic for it halfway through just to resolve some of the tension for myself, One Does Not Love Shadows.

It also features the version of Luka I’ve connected best with to date, as he feels like Luka, but also is a lot more fleshed out, and can make some major errors while simply trying to avoid missteps. It’s helped me get a better handle on a character who I’ve generally had a lot of problems with really understanding.

It is an M-rated fic, though I think Wackus is being overly cautious on that front. There’s no sexual content and I wouldn’t put the violence or gore above a T-rating, so I wouldn’t let the rating scare you off.

---

you don’t even know me at all (but I was made for loving you) by @ladyofthenoodle

They didn’t remember each other. The hospital told them there’d been an accident—brain damage—but Alya had told them the truth, later. Who’d they’d been to each other. What they’d given up, and why. But even with their memories of each other gone, Adrien and Marinette are still inextricably tied together—by law, by their social circles, and by their hearts. And in the apartment they share, there’s only one bed.

Yep, it’s the “there was only one bed” trope XD! I especially love how it was used here, how Adrien and Marinette are strangers now but they had a whole life together, and they pine for each other even without remembering, and how Marinette just can’t believe how in love with her Adrien is even though he doesn’t remember her. I loved the emotional turmoil the two of them went through together in the fic, and the resolution, it’s great!

---

fine line by @bbutterflies

“Catwalker?” Loveybug asks. “Hmm?” “Do you remember… what happened before us?” “What do you mean?” “Before we were heroes. Was there someone else?” Catwalker goes quiet for a moment. “I don’t know,” he finally says.

This is a surprisingly angsty take on the Loveybug AU. Here, since the Loveybug and Cat Walker transformations are so unnatural, they’re having negative side effects on Marinette and Adrien, causing them to be constantly exhausted and even to get amnesia the longer they continue using them.

---

do you think I have forgotten about you? by @roseinaugust

Based on the song ‘About You’ by The 1975. Memory Loss. Told in alternating time lines, one leading up to and one dealing with the aftermath of Marinette relinquishing the Miracle Box and the guardianship. Marinette struggles with her life after losing her memory, though there is a persistent voice that calls to her that always seems just out of reach in her memory.

Beautiful memory loss fic here, with seeing Ladybug’s and Chat Noir’s relationship before she gave up the Miracle box, juxtaposed with the present day, when Adrien is only a stranger to her. I could really feel how Marinette was struggling with navigating these new circumstances, with her friends seeming to expect her to remember, to be who she was to them, to Adrien especially, before, and her just… not knowing whether she can do that. It’s got a happy ending though, for those who are concerned about that.

---

Our Tales Are Endless (That’s Why I Tell Them) by @joonapeach

Marinette lives a simple life - one surrounded by pretty dresses, fresh macaroons, and the calming view of Paris. It’s a life she thinks she has always fit in. And yet sometimes, when a certain boy comes by her shop with a flower and a new adventurous story, she can’t help but wonder if there’s something else she’s missing.

This was a truly gorgeous story. It’s the classic “Marinette gives up the Miracle Box and loses her memories” storyline, exploring her life two years later. Even though she’s had time to heal and recover, she still feels like she’s missing something, something big. At least Adrien’s stopping by regularly to tell her stories about Ladybug and Chat Noir, even if she doesn’t understand why they resonate with her so well.

---

I (Wish I) Knew You by @buggachat

University has been hard on Marinette. Making new friends and maintaining her grades is a lot easier said than done when she has to disappear at odd times to fight akumas. She's struggling, and with Alya away with family and Adrien painfully out of reach, she's never felt lonelier.

If only she could talk to someone who really understood her struggles... but it's not like Chat Noir would know anything about loneliness. Right?

Nice aged-up Ladynoir fic here! Marinette’s struggling with losing friends and lovers because of her flakiness due to her superhero activities, until at last she breaks down. Thankfully, Chat Noir’s there at least - and it soon turns out he’s got problems of his own that he’s been hiding.

There’s some fluff and angst, it’s mostly just the two of them navigating life, dealing with their feelings and talking things out.

---

If I Let Myself Love You by @uptoolateart

It’s hard to be a normal girl with a normal life when your mother has terminal cancer. And when fashion model Adrien Agreste moves back to Paris and wants to be Marinette’s friend – or maybe even more – her life is turned upside down again.

How can she risk opening her heart to love when her whole world is falling apart? Especially when Adrien is hiding a dark secret of his own….

- COMPLETE FIC – updates on Sundays

*** No kwamis AU - 100% Adrinette. About half of it is fluffy and half heavy. Please read tags for trigger warnings. ***

This fic can be rough, definitely pay attention to the tags. There’s no villains in this story, it mostly centers around themes of dealing with illness - both being sick and having a loved one who’s terminally ill - and death, grieving someone who’s lost, and how difficult that can be. It can get pretty gut-wrenching at times, especially as you slowly discover more layers of what’s really going on, what both Adrien and Marinette are hiding, both from others and from themselves in order to help cope with their circumstances. But they still move forwards together, regardless.

---

Between the Heavens and the Embers by @readersmoon

Everyone in Paris remembers the fateful night of January 16, when the city was attacked by the most powerful and destructive akuma ever created. The assault, which lasted for hours, resulted in the death of 439 people.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was among the casualties.

Years later, Adrien hasn't been able to move on, haunted by the memories of her broken body. So, when the opportunity to leave Paris for a while presents itself, he doesn't hesitate. But this trip might end up giving him more than he ever dreamt of.

This is a fantastic fic, though a serious and a dark one - make sure to mind the tags, and it’s M-rated for a reason. Vee - or rather, Marinette - is going through a horror story here. Imagine finding out that your life is a lie, that everyone you thought you could trust was manipulating you, that you were just being continually gaslit for years. 

As for Adrien, Alya, and Nino... well, none of them took Marinette’s “death” all that well, especially Adrien. Finding out that she’s been alive all this time, in these horrible circumstances, and they had no clue... it’s hard on them as well.

I love how this fic goes into how much trauma everyone has even after the immediate danger’s dealt with, you don’t just walk off this kind of experience, especially with how many years this lasted.

---

in case you don’t know me tomorrow by @thelibraryloser:

“We live in a crazy world where pieces of our lives can be erased like they never even happened. I just wanted to memorize this moment so… so I could keep it, if that makes sense.”

Adrien’s heart gave a little flutter. She wanted to keep this moment, meeting him. She wanted to keep… him.

“I understand exactly what you mean.“

In a world that has created a way to selectively delete memories, no moment is truly safe. So how do you hold on to something when the memory of it is gone? And how do you keep fighting for someone when you’re the only one who remembers?

This is a SEVERELY underrated fic. It’s got some shades of “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” in the world, though the plot is very different - the memory erasure ain’t willing. 

Basically, the first few chapters are establishing Adrien’s and Marinette’s romance, and then the rest of the fic is dealing with Gabriel being an absolute DICK and using any means at his disposal to break them apart. It’s fantastic and I highly recommend reading it!

---

hella enchanted by @xiueryn:

Years ago, Marinette’s father died and she was left with her awful stepmother. With magic forcing her to obey every command, she lived as a servant and gave up hope. When a man appears, searching for the very fairy that blessed her, Marinette decides to give life one more try. AU.

(a different ella enchanted au.)

Even though it’s a one-shot this one is pretty long, clocking in at over 30k words. Absolutely worth a shot, though. The first third is basically Marinette dealing with being pushed around because of her “blessing”, and the other two-thirds is just some adorable fluff of her and Adrien touring the country together. 

---

Echoes of You by kittinoir

In the day time, she's Marinette - a normal girl, with a normal life. A normal girl, with a normal life. A normal girl, with... Not Season 4 Compliant; please, no spoilers

---

balancing act by fictionalinfinity

“Besides, being Ladybug always came first. It came before school, friends, and sometimes even family. Now it had to come before her health. Marinette had a duty to Paris. She wouldn’t let them down.” Or, being both Ladybug and the Guardian starts to take its toll on Marinette. - the epilepsy au literally no one asked for

---

Some Days by @merrygreenie

Some days are worse, and others are a little better, little by little and day by day. Marinette Dupain-Chen is learning how to live her new normal after living in confinement and being tortured by Hawkmoth. She is thankful to have her friends and family to support her. And a very special Chat who loves her very much. *This story contains scenes of violence and torture this is a whump fic*

This fic has some great angst, but be warned, it's not kidding about the violence and torture. Honestly, it should probably be rated M instead of Teen, given that while the fic mostly takes place after Marinette escapes and while she's recovering, we do get a detailed flashback to her torture.

[nikethestatue]

I finished ACOSF a few months ago and seeing this fandom has been so confusing to say the very least. Nesta is my favorite character and I loved the Valkyries but .... I just don't see this Gwynriel ship happening. I think they'd be cute together and I wouldn't be opposed to it obviously - but I just don't see it happening given where we left off in ACOSF. I also am confused about the personality difference in Gwyn & Elain and Azriel.

Gwyn didn't even kill anyone in the BR and was knocked out and carried to the top - so why are people acting like she is some great warrior and will destroy legions of armies and lead the Illyrians into war!? She saw a mini Pegasus at a sleepover and through it was cute and now all of a sudden people think she's going to ride one in the skies while she paints Prythian with the blood of her enemies? What enemies even?? She's not tied to any of the IC's plot?

Elain didn't really stand out to me in ACOSF, which makes sense because it was NESTA's story. I didn't really have an opinion on her and Azriel or her and Lucien. I get that Lucien makes her uncomfortable but SJM writes her pairings that way it seems so I could see them ending up together tbh. But then I read the BC and - wtf ?? I am firmly team Elriel now because what do you mean Azriel's out here dreaming about how elain TASTES . I see you freaky azriel 👀 goddamn I Definitely was not expecting that from him but now that I have seen it I can't go back. There's no way SJM wrote that and plans on making Elain then end up with Lucien. Like I thought it would be fine but after that BC - there's no going back.

Either way - it's weird that people have such a strong opinion on Azriel and Elain because I think combined, they've said maybe like 200 words total? I like the idea of them but we dont know much about them? Why are people forming such harsh steadfast opinions on what either of them want or need or desire when we don't know much of anything? They're both kind of mysterious.

Idk I feel like I just missed a book with how strongly everyone is arguing about these guys.

Elain - had some badass moments but barely mentioned on the page in ACOSF

Azriel - even more mysterious than Elain but the dry humor makes up for it.

Lucien - he's not been in the past 2 books?

Gwyn - is great but not the Aelin type of warrior people online are making her out to be

Where is all this coming from I am very confused??

Honestly, most of this is coming from TikTok, Headcanons and fan art on Insta.

You have NO IDEA how many asks i've received over the years with people saying the same thing 'i saw so many Gwynriel arts on Insta and I thought that there will be some amazing romance in ACOSF. THEN, I read the book. And I kept waiting for something to happen and nothing ever did."

I think the key word for a lot of GAs is 'then'--they first saw the art, watched the tiktoks, got themselves all jacked up on theories and headcanons, and then, THEN they read the book. So now, the problem is that they have a hard time separating reality/canon from all that stuff that brought them to the fandom in the first place.

They are digging their heels and arguing that it WILL HAPPEN!!! absolutely will. Gwyn will become a great warrior and will ride a Pegasus into battles. Azriel will fall madly in love with her. They'll have kinky sex and she'll 'heal' him.

ALL of it comes from fan art. Literally, look at 99% of Gwynriel fan art and it's all 'fake'--imagined scenes that never happened.

I think many of them either left the fandom or can't accept that they've been duped and are incorrect in their assumptions.

It will be interesting to see what the fallout will be once the book is released.

[merakiui]

I wrote this whole thing out already tbh but I accidentally reloaded my tab 😭 so I have to type it out again 💔. I'm sorry if the first one somehow sent already and you get this twice

But nono that is Absolutely an NBC dress!! I see the vision!! I am personally not as big of a Rollo fan but I DO think he is a fascinating little bug. I'm putting him in a little jar under a big ol' magnifying glass and observing him for forever. I like that Masquerade offered us a look at other mage schools and how they work, what villains they're based on, etc. I really appreciate him for that. I did actually really enjoy what we got to learn about him too. Fun stuff! Love Masquerade.

AAAA fashion and eel blessings! I'm so honored :D!! Tbh Floyd has always been much much kinder in gacha than his brother ever has been,, so even tho I loved Jade first maybe I should give that other eel his proper chance. Since he seems to love my keys so much lol

I totally forgive on the forgetting to answer tho it's okay 😭!! These asks get very long. It's bound to happen! Obey Me had that update though a few months ago and it's been a godsend so far!! I played for forever but my cards weren't ever strong enough to reach the later story :( so I'm really glad Nightbringer offers the full thing for free so I can binge read!!

Since I brought up other games though,, I've been wanting to ask actually if you've ever looked into Diabolik Lovers? If you haven't and ever want to... I do want to warn you that the anime is NOT very good unfortunately </3. It's one of those animes that's just kind of a really shitty ad for whatever it's original media form was. It skips out a lot of important lore/character info, and doesn't really showcase each character properly since it tried very hard to focus on just 1 brother and failed. So the ganes/translations are 100% the way to go.

I bring it up tho bc it's my fave character's birthday today :D!! Ohh,, Reiji Sakamaki the strange little specimen you are <3 <3 my lovely wife that drugs people. I adore him. I think tbh you could like him too based on the stuff you usually talk and write about here. But obviously I could be very wrong! No way to actually know.

- :3

AAAA the horror of reloading the tab... I've done that too many times. T_T I know the pain well. </3

YES!!! Glomas gave us so much!!! It's one of my favorite twst events. Being able to see what other magic schools are like and how they function (NBC having a student council in contrast to NRC's Housewarden system). I really hope there will be more events like it! I'd love an event where the RSA students are given more spotlight or an RSA-centric event!!! It would be so exciting!!!!

:O giving Floyb a proper chance...... may he come home so quickly!!! May he jump into your arms enthusiastically!! It's Jade's loss for being so stubborn in coming home. >:( no hugs for that eel.

That feature is so helpful and nifty omg!!!! I want to finish the main story and learn more from where I stopped a while back. ;;;; after becoming a Jade enjoyer, my eyes have opened to Barbatos hehe.

DIABOLIK LOVERS OMG...... now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time. I did indeed watch the anime many years ago, but I actually haven't delved too deeply into the translations of the game. I might have to because,,,, vampire....... cool,,,, pretty,,, deranged.... orz the sheer grip those brothers had on me...

Please forgive my late reply!!!! >_< your wife's birthday has since passed, but that doesn't mean we can't still celebrate Reiji Sakamaki, the wife ever!!!!!! <3 I think my taste in fictional men has refined with my age because the polite (as a front) types (Reiji, Kyoya, Jade, Sebastian, etc etc) were never my preference, but now I am LOOKING. 👁 👁 I think I need Mr. Reiji carnally.

[bloodycyrano]

Gifts I think the DAO companions would appreciate, outside of giftable in game items! (Pt1, I think this will be a long post if not sectioned)

Sten-

Incense and expensive tea, possibly imported. He talks about how he hates the smell of Ferelden, and misses home; Tea and incense being the most notable scents that stick out to him.

Cookies, or a good recipe for cookies. Everyone in the Fandom has had the dialog where Sten reveals that he enjoys cookies, and that in his homeland, there is no such thing. I think he would greatly enjoy a recipe to be able to bring such a thing back with him- Even if he may not be able to make them himself at home. My memory is fuzzy on qunari custom, but I don't think he'd be particularly allowed to bake.

A wardog of his own- I don't think he'd be permitted to keep it, upon return to the qun. But he has immense respect for Barkspawn, and I think if he were here in 2024, he'd be a great dog dad. I think he'd probably give it to his closest companion upon his return, but he would keep a detailed sketch of it with him always. He'd probably give it a specific title in his native tongue.

This is sort of a separate headcannon, but I think in a modern AU, he'd really like pumpkin spice lattes.- It's always the ones you would never expect.

Shayle-

Obviously, we know they like crystals. They like being pretty, and *sparkling*. So it's not too farfetched to assume they would appreciate gold ore or other shining metals fitted to some of their stone bits- Sort of like.. Magically grafted on with heat? Morrigan could weld them, or I'm sure Sandal could potentially do it.

I think, while they couldn't really read themselves, I think if you brought them books and such, they would enjoy hearing you read it to them. Especially if you manage to find some old records of their own lineage after the orzammar quest line.

I think they would also enjoy being given I big, stone bowl to keep shiny trinkets in- Like a crow, almost. Crystals, cute pebbles, coins, keys, etc. Pretty things for them to look at.

Leliana-

She would love it if you wrote her a poem, regardless of what it was about. I think she'd just be so happy you thought of her and wrote something lovely- I honestly think she'd love it even more if it wasn't the best quality. After all, that would mean you were inspired by her to write something of which you had no prior experience and still tried your best. She'd think it was cute.

I think she'd like it if you gave her one of your own personal favorite books or fables, with little notes on your commentary and theories. She'd love that, honestly.

A ceramic nug. No explanation needed, she loves Nugs. I've got animals I love, too. And if someone gave me a ceramic or plush critter of my choice, I'd be over the moon.

A little on the weird side, I think she'd like a type of porcelain harlequin doll. I can't think of the specific type, but they don't make them the same way anymore.. they're usually from overseas in Germany or Russia or France, you know? The ones that are really glossy and have beautiful line work in the paint? I feel like you found one in the denerim marketplace, imported from Orlais, and it would remind her of another experience she had there or even just of her time as a bard. After all, they weren't *all* unpleasant memories.

Alistair-

A golem doll. Like a little poppet. I don't think it's rare dialogue, but the other day is the first time I noticed it since I first played the game rented from a family video over a decade ago, so.. Yeah. Point is, Alistair mentions in front of "Wonders of Thedas", that Arl Eamon (I think) once bought him a little golem doll as a child, and how he adored it and wondered if there would be one like it at the wonders of thedas.

A griffon figurine. He's a Grey Warden, I think he'd like it. The wardens have always been his real home, and it's truly where he belongs. I think a memento of that is something he'd hold dear.

A book of poems about honoring fallen soldiers. I feel like it may bring him to tears, and perhaps make him confront some extra grief after ostagar, but perhaps it could also bring a sort of comfort. Maybe he isn't the most religious, maybe he has a bit of trauma from the chantry.. But I think he still prays, if only for the ones he's lost.

Again, I think he'd like a war dog. I'll never let him take Barkspawn, but he'd love a pupper of his own. If you gave it to him as a puppy to raise and train all his own, he'd probably be overjoyed.- Off topic, but I headcannon that all companions to the wardens have an extended lifespan, and live and die with their humanoid counterparts if they don't die in battle, kind of like the animal companions do with the avatars in ATLA. Far fetched, and backed by absolutely no real lore as far as I know, but I like to think it's true.

[panlight]

What do you think were Esme’s and Carlisle’s thoughts on Bree? The moment they saw her and the moment she died (again)

The thing about Bree is that she originally just existed to give Bella a "wow is that what I'm going to be like as a newborn?" moment. The chapter with Bree is literally titled, "Mirror," it's very on the nose. (And, lol, no Bella, don't worry about it.)

So for the purposes of the story, what Carlisle and Esme think about it . . . doesn't super matter. I mean it matters to us, those who care about the secondary characters, it matters to fic writers. But in terms of Bella's story it's like whatever. SM wrote Bree originally as this walk-on, throw-away character . . . but I think the Bree Tanner book demonstrates that Bree did get to SM a little, too. SM's characters quickly put her out of their minds because they had to get to the Forever/Breaking Dawn stuff that had nothing to do with Bree, but SM couldn't get Bree out of her own head and wrote the novella.

If the story actually gave Esme and Carlisle room to have a real reaction to this, a real opinion, I think they'd be devastated. Obviously they didn't know Bree very long, but all of their 'children' were essentially strangers at one point or another. Bree's story could have been more like Alice's or Jasper's, adopted into the coven. I believe them that they were prepared to "take responsibility" for Bree and teach her. I think they saw a kid who was a victim of Victoria's, a victim of circumstance, a kid who was scared and didn't want to fight.

But I think they also knew that to push the Volturi any more would risk their established family. It was a fine line to try and advocate for Bree while not antagonizing the Volturi. Bella's still human which isn't great, and they had just fought side-by-side with "werewolves," which would also put them on thin ice if the Volturi knew. Edward saw Aro's thoughts about Alice and Edward in the Volturi; all they need is an excuse to destroy the rest of the coven (arguably Bella still being human is as good of an excuse as any, but Renesmee needs to happen so . . .). I've seen fic propose that Jasper also influenced them with his gift, keeping them from fighting harder for Bree. Could be! I don't know if that's necessary, I think as loving as Esme is, she wouldn't put the safety of this random girl over the safety of their family. They did what they could and probably feel horrible and guilty that it didn't work out. They probably have discussions about whether they should have said more, tried more, risked more. And then they try and comfort each other with the idea that this poor girl's life was over the minute Victoria bit her; if she didn't die in the fight, the Volturi would have killed her anyway given the laws against newborn armies.

This could all be going on behind the scenes, I guess, but it's not the impression I get with the head-first dive into wedding planning. But yeah I think they were sincere in their offer and they grieve what-might-have been, but they were between a rock and a hard place with the Volturi there looking for any excuse to kill them.

[garf-lover96]

alright so i wrote it, it's just kind of self indulgent because i use Rowan for basically self insert stuff. content warning for homoerotic wound stitching??....... and just blood (but it's not actually that bad).i've never posted something like this before anywhere so i kind of feel like i'm about to be burnt at the stake lol!!!! also the word count is like almost 2000 words. i kind of just freestyled this but also i watched a few wound stitching videos on youtube

and this was the idea btw, but i changed it a little after

———

He was reckless again. Of course he was. Being reckless is practically in his blood. But being reckless also comes easier when you know that getting hurt won't have lasting consequences. Ever since Julian's healing mark disappeared, he was just a—mostly—regular person again. He should've known better not to continue that little quarrel at the Red Market. Now he was walking back to the magic shop, the numerous slash wounds on his left arm hidden effectively under his coat. His thoughts raced. Making anyone worried about him was decidedly one of his worst nightmares. And now that he has someone waiting for him every evening... That obviously made it even worse. Rowan will be furious. Or devastated... He wasn't sure anymore, given how many mixed reactions he's already gotten after coming back home with any kind of injury.

He had no idea what he'd even say to him. His guilt was so overwhelming that his mind went blank every time he tried to come up with an explanation, an apology.

His breath gets a little heavier by the time the shop is in his eye's reach. Is it from the pain or the anxiety? It's so hard to tell now. He approaches the door slowly, stopping just in front of it. His hand hovers over the knob hesitantly. Come to think of it, maybe just sleeping outside would be a better idea...? No, that'd obviously make Rowan even more worried. Then his worry would turn to frustration and then... He'd have that dejected look on his face. At the very least, if he's lucky enough, maybe Rowan is already asleep and he will have the whole night to come up with something, anything. He remembers his partner complaining about a headache in the morning. It's rather reasonable that he'd want to rest sooner.

He snaps himself out of his momentary zone out session and shakes his head with a sigh. After he opens the door, he notices that there's no light inside. That would mean that Rowan is upstairs already. Maybe Julian can manage to be quiet enough just to reach the bathroom and quickly tend to his wounds? It seems like a better idea than having Rowan fuss over him. He slowly closes the door and then takes off his boots. He'll have to be completely silent. Years of experience in having to sneak around, unnoticed, definitely come in handy in situations like these. He makes an effort to take long, slow steps, leading by his heels. When he reaches the stairs, he makes sure to avoid any creaky spots on the steps. He takes another look around. He has to stop himself from sighing out of relief loudly when he notices the complete darkness around him.

He scurries over to the bathroom and shuts the door behind him, then hastily lights a nearby candle. He pulls off his eyepatch, his gloves, tosses them aside and starts peeling his overcoat off carefully. His arm is still bleeding which means that he has to grit his teeth tightly not to make even a single sound. Once he manages to get shirtless, he can assess the damages. A large, leaking gash on his upper arm and a few smaller ones on his forearm. Since he didn't have anything to stop the bleeding with previously, his whole arm has been painted red, down to his fingertips. This will be a nightmare to clean up... The longer he stares at the laceration, the more apparent it becomes that he's going to need stitches. He bites down on his lower lip while looking around the room. There has to be a needle and thread around here somewhere. After searching through some shelves and cupboards he finds what he was looking for, along with bandages for later. He pulls up a nearby stool to start on his task but the moment he sits down, it collapses right under him and he falls back on the floor. Stupid old chair... He can only manage to let out a soft, breathy whine before he hears Rowan from the bedroom.

"Julian? Are you alright?" Rowan calls, already being heard getting up from the bed and heading for the bathroom door.

Julian's voice gets stuck in his throat. His first instinct is to lie and to try and convince his partner to go back to bed, but he stops himself. This wasn't going to work from the start. Rowan would have always had to find out eventually.

A few soft knocks on the door are heard.

"Can I come in?" he asks, his tone already taking on a worried note.

Julian gets to his feet with a groan and opens the door, just peeking out of it at first.

"I'm sorry." he blurts out the second he makes eye contact with Rowan.

Rowan raises an eyebrow, then pushes the door open. Julian instinctively steps back, already raising his arms up defensively.

"This is not as bad as it looks, dear, I swear-" he starts, but gets cut off when Rowan sees all the blood.

"You told me you were going grocery shopping!" he scolds with a growing disturbed expression on his face.

"I know, I know, there was just... There was a detour and I... I remembered I'm out of leeches... The um, the Red Market..." Julian manages to stutter out in defense but Rowan's eyes are somewhere else now. Namely, they land on the needle and thread that got knocked to the floor when Julian fell.

"Darling, I just didn't want to worry you-"

"Just... Sit down."

"Where...? T-the stool is broken..."

"Then sit down on the floor!"

Julian obeys and sits cross legged on the floor with a deeply embarrassed expression. Rowan kneels down next to him.

"Er... I do need those stitches, Rowan."

"Your hands are shaking."

"W-well, you're not..." Julian exhales nervously "You're not that squeamish, are you?"

Rowan gets the implication and takes a moment to rub the bridge of his nose with a small sigh.

"I don't suppose magic can sterilize needles...?" Julian adds with an awkward chuckle.

"I could heat it up."

Julian nods, "That works."

It doesn't take much time for the equipment to be sterile again. Rowan moves to sit closer to the injury and gets the needle ready.

"You'll have to walk me through it." Rowan utters, still trying to put on a brave face.

Julian tilts his head a little "But you can sew."

"I've never had to sew up a wound!"

"I suppose that's fair..." he acknowledges "But I find it really similar to working with fabric, if that's any comfort."

"It's not."

"Nevermind that... You're familiar with the blanket stitch, right?"

"...Right."

"If you can manage that, the wound should get closed up properly."

Rowan nods and takes a deep breath to ground himself, then makes the first puncture. He can feel the warm blood on his fingers and the sickeningly metallic smell in his nose. The only sounds that can be heard are his and Julian's heavy breathing, and the soft, unnerving squelching sound of Julian's wound being sutured.

Rowan's hands are steady enough but he sniffles from time to time and wipes his eyes into his sleeves. Julian is staring at him all the while, more concerned about his mental state that his own injury. The guilt is already eating him from the inside by the time Rowan's eyes start getting glossy. The sheer embarrassment and remorse hurts infinitely more than the laceration. He starts getting a little teary-eyed himself as Rowan ties that final little knot.

Julian smiles softly as he looks down at the stitch work, hoping to lighten the mood a little already.

"Ha, you honestly missed your calling as a doctor."

He raises his eyes only to be met with Rowan's furious stare.

"...You're still mad" he notes quietly.

"You think?!" Rowan snaps and gets to his feet "You can't keep doing this!"

Julian follows suit but stumbles a little, "I didn't mean for this to happen, I just wasn't thinking."

"Of course you weren't!" Rowan agreed roughly "You know, I was worried from the start, when you started living here. I was hoping you'd make more effort to adjust properly and start actually taking care of yourself now that you finally have the chance. But it's like putting yourself in danger is the default brain function of yours and it won't disappear no matter how hard we both try! And I hate it, Julian, I hate it so much. It's my least favorite thing about you."

Julian can only listen as Rowan unloads all his frustrations. He can't help but agree with his arguments... He doesn't even attempt to get a word in.

"I don't even want to know the details. It'd just make things worse. I already almost lost you several times. I can't imagine what I would do if something serious happened. Not that this isn't serious! Whoever did this, whatever they cut you with, they could've just went for a major organ. And... And you'd just bleed out in some back alley. And I'd probably be the last to know."

Rowan pauses and looks down at the floor. His speech was like a gut punch to Julian, more painful that anything that happened yet. He hesitates before getting closer to Rowan and wrapping his arms around him. Rowan reciprocates immediately, squeezing him as tightly as he can.

"At this rate, you'll make me go gray before thirty..." Rowan weeps into his chest.

"I, for one, would think you look dashing." Julian sniffs awkwardly, holding onto Rowan's shirt "I'm so deeply sorry for making you worried again."

They stand there in silence for a few minutes, attempting to calm down after the endeavor.

If there's an upside to the frequency of those accidents, is that they manage to get a hold of their tears and frustrations quite quickly. After a moment, Julian pulls away a bit and looks into Rowan's eyes.

"You're right, of course... I know my recklessness takes a toll on you too... I promise that from now on there will be no spontaneous detours. If I get into a sticky situation, you'll know where to find me. I'll carry an additional knife with me as well." he adds with a soft chuckle "And I'm sorry for getting the blood on your shirt, just now... I'll buy it back for you."

"It's not completely ruined, I'll just need to soak it overnight... Though a compensation is definitely in order. For the tremendous emotional damages." Rowan sniffs.

"Then I shall take over making dinner for the whole month."

"Sure, that's fine..."

"And I'll buy you a new shirt anyway."

"Alright..."

"And I'll buy a new stool to replace the one I broke."

"Mhm."

"And you can stab me yourself if you'd like."

"...I think you're missing the point here. But if you scare me like that again, I will lightly choke you."

"We have a deal, darling."

———

i would appreciate opinions about this honestly..... and i had fun writing the descriptions the most i think

and this was the writing time + like 30 minutes the previous day

[im-an-anthusiast]

Discuss your OCs. Now 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵

Ok so here is Thomas. Or well was. Here lies Thomas. Because while I wasn't looking he transed his gender. Or well. Gendher. This is the second OC this has happened to! Although, to be fair, Albion transed his gender retroactively - as in he was always male, he just swapped his AGAB. So, Tommy (?) here uh. Well. I haven't really written anything (good) about her. (I wrote two fluff romance pieces about her and Santi, her love interest, an OC whom I actually have written about!) I am in fact sitting on a half-finished familial trauma (my beloved) piece for Tommy. I keep getting stuck on a single word and closing the piece for another month.

So, what's up with Tommy? She's a very tall, for one. Has shaggy, dark grey hair, and is about 200 years old? 225 if I recall correctly? I might be getting that wrong. Her most prominent feature are her unnaturally bright - glowing, emerald green eyes. This is due to a part of one of my Magic Systems! She has a so-called Remnant Signature, which doesn't affect her Magic but affects her body. The special girl that she is, however, she also has another Signature. This one, however, is a regular Signature, and thusly affects her Magic. However, it borders on a Blank Signature with how large it's Stature is, meaning using Magic causes significant Maogic Recoil (better name pending). This is not at all helped with how she was forced into training Magic since young! This huge amount of Magic Recoil has given her the Magic-induced equivalent of very bad asthma (and other respiratory issues). Because I can't write a non-disabled character! I am also thinking about her having trouble seeing due to her own eyes projecting light... I think I love torturing my characters a bit too much. Oh also she's fucking BUILT.

Anyway, due to her respiratory issues, she has to use Magic Drugs. Which she deals, by the way. She controls a good ⅓ of the Magic Drug market. She, in particular, uses the inhaler form of a strong mix of Pollen Breaths, a kind of healing Drug(s) called Floral(s), which is/are made from the processed Flesh and Blood of Hexstarveds. In addition, it provides immediate respite from the effects of mind-affecting/altering Magic, which can be quite handy when striking deals with other Magi (plural of Magus, the colloquial name for a Mageblood Magic Channeller).

But that is neither here nor there. She also carries around a notebook simply for the sake of reading out Fun Facts™️ when none immediately come to mind. She also likes to take up regular professions, for the combined sake of enjoying studying, helping people, and needing a cover story for insane income and occupation. She's currently posing as a doctor, and let me tell you, she absolutely kills it in a labcoat! She also wears a lower-face gas mask (which is also her Tether (a tool for safer Magic channelling)) sometimes, though it is usually hanging off of her neck. This is because I cannot write a character without giving them an option/reason to cover up their face her second Signature, which I've already mentioned but not named, White Smoke, with the combination of the Discipline and Branch of Magic she uses - Creation Manifesting Magic - allows her to create smoke around herself. Which uh. Not only causes her respiratory issues, also worsens them. Obviously.

She is the daughter to two important Magic families, though I'd perhaps rather leave that to the piece which I want to sink my teeth deeper into that.

In addition, it is interesting to consider that Magebloods do not have extraordinary lifespans unless they have consumed raw Halfblood (A Mix of Mageblood and Hexstarved, often also referred to as an Unsated Mageblood) Flesh, or being hopelessly addicted and dependant on Iðuns, a special, extremely rare, insanely addictive and body destroying type of several Magic Drugs that slows the aging of or rejuvenates its victims consumers.

This has been yours truly, Felix Adustus, ranting about yet another OC. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did

[solradguy]

I don’t know how big your low tech city is, or how destroyed it was, but for the sake of argument I’m assuming it’s a pretty small and doesn’t have a large population due to humanity almost going extinct.

It says in GG world that zeal was distributed to major cities, so it’s probably harder to come by. If I had to guess, people would probably have to go travel to a bigger city to get zlipods.

In an area that’s almost completely cut off however, trading supplies probably takes president over (obviously not eliminating the use of) actual money- especially when it comes to energy resources. I can see locals trading bits and bobs of black tech or parts of sequencers with one another. In an area that had been ruined, there’s probably a lot of scavenging that could be done.

A lot of tech would be built off the back of old machinery. Lots of hollowed out machines reused for. Same with houses- I’d imagine that areas that were destroyed weren’t given the resources to rebuild- at least not on a wide scale- so I’d assume that lots of spaces would be built off of the shells of destroyed buildings.

People also probably use fire a lot more too. Simple spells for controlling it and the other elements are probably used for warmth (or in a case in the south, cooling off- during the day at least).

And on that, I think that fire would become more prevalent in general as a means of cooking and warmth would become more common now that there is limited assess to gas/electric burners and the like.

I’d also imagine that there are very close knit communities. Not necessarily in an “everyone knows each other personally” way, more so in a “Someone would recognize if a stranger came into the city” way.

Hope I could grant some insight. I’m looking forward to the next chapter.

My low tech town is at a current size of "undefined but large enough that roving gangs can't bother all of it at once" haha Didn't want to trap myself in a box defining it too thoroughly at the start and then realizing I needed it to be bigger or smaller later. Laying the track as I go, so to speak. The population is indeed small though, despite whatever size the town itself ends up being by the time I get to a point where I have to give it solid dimensions.

Most of what you've listed here are pretty much the same conclusions I've come to for this town Fred's ended up at except for the magic part.

The Strive timeline says that researchers come up with a way that makes magic easier for people to use, regardless of their skill level, in 2008. I'm assuming this is probably instroments and scores but it doesn't use those words. By 2010 governments start ordering rations of zeal to their citizens. It's vague about what happens after that and up to when the Black Sunrise happens in 2074, but it's probably safe to assume that most countries/places kept slowly rebuilding.

Anyway, I don't think most people in the really damaged parts of the US (like where Interlude is at for the moment, out in the desert of northern New Mexico) would have much skill with magic or access to instroments programmed with scores. Maybe one or two would have ended up there from traders/bartering travelers though. I wrote a hardware store that Frederick busted in to because I needed him to get an instroment to make the Gear cell suppressor though, so there are at least blank ones available in this setting I've made up. I think a lot of the fires people make for their various needs are made the traditional way (matches, lighter fluid, flint & steel, etc). They'd already know how and it's cheaper/easier than bugging the one guy with the instroment-lighter to light everything.

The official timelines make it sound like black tech stayed in use for a decent-ish while even after the UN banned it (the USA built a rocket in the early 21st century somewhere and non-magic tech production wasn't officially stopped until 2010 too). I imagine a lot of places kept using it even after 2010 production fully halted, but it makes me wonder if things like oil drilling and stuff were still going on by that point or not. Apparently the distribution of zeal actually worsened the economic gap in low income areas (ggw/magic). Maybe for a while gasoline was seen as the "poor man's zeal"? Unfortunately, gasoline expires. So whatever I end up doing for Interlude likely won't be gas. Frederick has some zilpods for a generator in his shack to power the lights, AC, and his tech though, but I never explained how they got there (he didn't buy them). Zeal expires just like gas, anyway.

There are just enough details to imagine what these parts of GG's world might be like, but few enough that a lot of new questions come up thinking about it lol There are a lot of parts of Interlude too where I know the lore doesn't make any sense because I couldn't think of a canon-abiding way to do it how I needed it to be so I pulled something out of my ass and hoped it sounded believable enough ahahah No one's called me out on anything so far.

[utilitycaster]

(Long ask warning)

Hello! I'm jumping on the appreciation train to say thank you so much for all of your meta and analysis! I just found your blog today, and you've already given me so much clarity and context for things I've been noticing in the CR fandom lately.

I quite literally spent my summer living under a rock (in the woods leading spelunking for scouts!) and so was completely out of the loop from early June through September. And while I am not yet caught up (I'm about to start ep. 65), I have been going through the tags and ao3, because I primarily engage with fandom through fic and I don't care about spoilers. And I can't help but notice that everything being written for c3 lately is just... monochromatic. The Hells have such interesting characters and premises. One would think they're ripe for creative and interesting fic. And yet even what little gen fic that I have seen since returning to civilization has largely been boiled down to reiterative mush with vaguely shippy overtones. I can totally see this being indicative of the cresting and waning of the Imodna and Callowmore shipping you've been discussing.

I've gotta ask though, is it really just shipping that is causing this problem? Or is there something else in the source material that you think could be affecting fic in particular?

This is the first time I've been in a fandom with ongoing source material in over a decade. I'm used to watching people beat dead horses in their own little corner, safe in the knowledge that I can block them and it isn't going to affect my experience in the slightest. I guess I'm just having a hard time believing/remembering that shipping can be this incidious.

So a couple of things: first, I was not heavily involved in fandom until Critical Role; I have a decent amount of background knowledge from being on Tumblr and because I do tend to look into/research this kind of thing because it's very interesting to me, but you will probably have better snapshot of what fandom looked like 10 years ago than I do. Second, fanfic has always been a tiny aspect of what I've engaged with and I do find the bulk of it to be dull and samey (which is why it is a tiny aspect), so again, you probably are a better judge of the quality of fanfic elsewhere.

With that said, as part of a much larger discussion of which I only have as mentioned pieces of the puzzle, I do think there's been a shift over the past decade or so of like...people expecting the source material to reflect fanfic-y desires, and resenting it when it does not; people not seeing the point in enjoying non-canon ships; and a broader theme of self-infantilization. This has to a small extent spilled over into published fiction, though thankfully there's plenty that isn't that. It's not just shipping (though that absolutely can be insidious to the point that people have been harassed and doxxed over it); I think it's a general taste for pablum that has been growing within fandom spaces.

I'll link a few posts I've made and a source that, while I cannot vouch for it per se I did read and found enlightening at the end but I think a really indicative example as of late was the fandom response to the show Good Omens (spoilers for Good Omens S2 in the next link if you are by any chance avoiding those). Obviously do not do anything obnoxious to the person who wrote this question, but there are a worrying number of people in fandom spaces who believe this unironically and uncritically: fiction exists to "save us from hurtful reality." And I do understand that the tumultuous politics and world events of the past decade are probably a factor; but I mean, have you looked at literature from the first half of the 20th century (or like. the second half, for that matter)? It is, in my opinion, only going to help put our modern world and issues in better context and honestly make you feel better in the long run if you read, say, The Great Gatsby or The Things They Carried instead of burying your head in lower case song lyrics ... (hurt/comfort, fix-it, happy ending, 6k) and like, to be clear, I have written a small portion of lower case song lyric-titled fics myself but most of them aren't terribly happy, and even so, god I'd be horrified if that was all people were reading.

We've seen it across fandom at large with the polls; I have not watched season 2 of Our Flag Means Death in part because I've realized with horror that this mentality has swept, plague-like, through that fandom; people are acting like having a canon queer ship on a small premium cable show in 2022 is world-changing and unprecedented while also kind of ignoring everything that isn't the central ship (including valid criticisms of how this takes a real-world plantation owner and turns him into a goofy fop, how there's precious few female characters and none in the main cast, and how the actually far more groundbreaking nb character is pushed aside in favor of the core M/M ship). Spoilers for Good Omens again (sorry in advance, Good Omens 2 was a realization point for me how deeply and widely this rot has set in in some places and I have a bunch of sources of people being like "guys stories require conflict and tension to be good" in response to the overwrought moaning that the story wasn't unambiguously happy) but this is another author responding to the "the desired endpoint of all fiction is obviously to have your ship living in a small house together in bliss and anything else is torment" mentality.

In addition to shipping another factor is, I think, people overidentifying with characters and as such being reluctant to actually put them through any sort of hardship, however minor. I recently reblogged a post about the origin of the concept "Mary Sue" and it led me to read a bit about its history, because it was in fact created by women. It was a woman in the Star Trek fandom who was sick of spending money to buy fanzines (pre-common home internet, let alone pre-Ao3) only to find the vast majority of the stories to be this "here is my self-insert who is perfect and beautiful and pure and every other character thinks she is the greatest even if that's entire OOC". It was a frustration with the abandonment of the characterizations in the original work. And that's true today - I have read a popular Imogen and Laudna fluff fic to see what the deal was and it stripped out so much of their premises and characterizations it was unrecognizeable as them but for the hair colors and occasional cringeworthy attempts to replicate Southern US dialect - but what was notable is that those people were at least being honest and writing OCs (though to be fair a lot of them were also young white teen girls and the only woman in TOS was black and that was probably also a factor). Now, you get people who cannot tolerate any analysis of characters that is less than flattering because instead of having an OC, they are identifying so strongly with, for example, Imogen or Ashton, that they cannot separate out the real character or understand this is not an attack on them (or, to be blunt, as someone who sees some of my own worse traits in both those characters, a necessary critique). It's not shipping, but it is that same "fiction should only ever be a soft blanket or a flattering mirror, never a dark mirror and certainly never a door" mentality.

I do place a little blame on fanfiction itself; I think having something that is roughly made to order and tells you exactly what it is up front means people start to think that is the only way, and that's why we have people claiming Chipotle is the height of cuisine while making gagging noises at the authentic Mexican restaurant except for fiction. I think fanfiction can be great; it's fun to write and I have read some great pieces. But a lot of it is mush and formulaic and as that Mary Sue history points out, always has been.

So anyway, to Bells Hells: I think past campaigns also had a lot of dull fanfiction; I think the Nein lent themselves more to poorly written angst than poorly written fluff but yeah a lot of that was really samey and bland in its own way. Fanfiction has always been formulaic to a degree but I think we're starting to see the generation of people who really have read more of that than like, books, and sure there are shitty books, but man there's a LOT of shitty fanfiction, and increasingly, I find that shitty published books are bad because they're too much like fanfiction. [If I get the chance today I have a post I want to write about the ignorance of fantasy tropes in the current fandom which I think is also driving some of this and which I alluded to in my post about shipping; like, I feel the almost automatic but oddly thought-free resistance to gods and fate and the 'right' way to respond to a tragic backstory comes from this ignorance; this also is a case in the D20 fandom when they've dipped into sci fi.] Shipping definitely is a factor, and I think again C3 has an influx of fans primarily here to ship in that "my ship must become canon and must 'win' for some arbitrary definition thereof" which is probably why so much of the fanfic sucks, but again, this is a larger self-infantilizing and entitled mentality that goes beyond mere ships.

Further reading (mostly my own posts but not exclusively)

The fandom echo chamber (also Good Omens spoilers in a broad sense), not by me

Some discussion on queerphobia being inserted only as a tool to assist with specific shipping narratives (I think this ties in again to like. people need obstacles to justify why the characters aren't already in their cottage by the sea but once the characters are together they discard these obstacles even if they are systemic and would still exist, which makes for really bad fanfic bc it's clearly poorly plotted and thought out)

Me on why this campaign isn't good for shipping but a lot of the fandom showed up primarily to ship (might be the post that prompted this ask tbf)

Fandom monocropping (not my post)

My treatise on Imogen and Laudna specifically which honestly, even now that they are canon, still largely holds up re: the fandom and a related one about similarly fluff-centric Change is Evil and the highest order of fiction is Two Blorbos In A House With Zero Problems mentality (not by me but I've been part of that discussion)

[petalkitshadow]

I’m terrified of the fall out of this when it comes to Petalpaw’s reputation in the clan. Obviously the emotional toll/grief is gonna be rough, but on top of that she basically has no support system now. Her little siblings are going to need her support, not the other way around, and they’re her only remaining kin. I don’t trust Petalpaw’s new friends to not turn on her after this either, so they’re out as well. (Although I’m very open to being wrong about that, bc I really loved their dynamic in the previous chapter!) There’s also only two surviving witnesses, one of them being Petalpaw herself, and having been caught in the position she was in (and being Maple’s bio daughter), I’m extremely worried that Petalpaw is going to be framed as responsible for Appledusk and Reedshine’s deaths. Reedshine, the one cat who would definitely 100% defend her and explain what really happened is dead. I know Perchpaw ends up okay, but I’m worried that his grief over Appledusk and his tail are going to lead to him acting out and blaming Petalpaw as well. He’s like her only hope and I love him so much… he’s so well written… but I do not trust him at all. The only character who I’m sure will support Petalpaw is Eeltail, but only emotionally as she wasn’t a witness. And even then, poor girl is already going have her paws full dealing with Petal’s younger orphaned siblings. This also makes the warrior name Petalshade go from super cool to absolutely soul-shattering, and I’m super excited to find out what the in-universe justification for that is going to be.

Apologies for the super long ramble, I’m just so invested in this fic, and I wanted to share how much it’s rattling around in my mind. I’m terrified. You are an evil genius /pos

thank you <3 <3!! I love getting long messages and hearing peoples thoughts, it means a ton to me when people want to engage with the story i'm telling!!

I am super excited to write Petalpaw and Perchpaw's development going forward. Both of them mean a ton to me and I think this event plus their development is like getting to see what they're really made of!

I am also excited to explore the seasonings for their names. I put a lot of thought into the suffixes they got, even though theyre both "legacy" names i still wanted them to have meaning and represent the characters theyre given to.

I thought maybe Perchshine being named after Reedshine, as well as the timeline being shifted so her kits were born BEFORE maple's return, would make it kinda obvious she was going to die... but based on peoples reactions, i guess not!! LOL the response to the latest chapter has been overwhelming in a good way. I'm so glad everybody seems to have liked it! like I said, the original draft of it was the first thing I wrote for PkS, late last year, so I've been sitting on it for a while now. I didn't think I'd ever actually get this far in writing a story. The support from everybody has really helped, getting feedback and having readers engage with the story really motivated me to keep making more, I can't thank you all enough!! i became very nervous to kill Reedshine (even though i've had it planned since the very start) since she was a definite favorite among readers... hopefully her sendoff did her justice!

If it's any consolation, I imagine now she's taking care of Patchkit and Larchkit in StarClan while watching over Petalpaw and her other kits. She can finally have the quiet, uneventful life she wanted (and deserved, tbh!)

but yes, again, thank you everybody who has taken the time to give my fic a chance, i really appreciate it <3 <3

[suzukiblu]

tumblr.com/suzukiblu/740466228925202432/you-know-ten-minutes-ago-i-was-sure-that-daddykink?source=share

Okay, but I was glad to see your response to this^^^ because I've actually been going back and forth for Days about whether to send you an ask about how much I surprisingly ADORE your writing, so it's nice to know you get it a lot. (I didn't want to risk coming across as condescending because like. You obviously very much like the tropes you tend to write for, that's why you write them, and I didn't want you to think I was essentially going "you're not like Other authors who write this thing you like")

Like. I generally Very Much dislike kid!fic and I don't usually care about omegaverse. And then you're over here like "I have a dozen different flavors of Omegaverse, Accidental Baby Acquisition, and Is Anyone Gonna Parent That Child?" and I'll read a snippet of Kon Isn't the Father or Wet Nurse Omegaverse and start foaming at the mouth and trying to pretend I care about them a Normal Human Amount.

Hahaha, yeah, no, I'm VERY used to hearing that at this point. I am of the mind that people like what they like, and if they don't like what I like, it's fine, it's just how they roll! And like, even the tropes I tend to like, I tend to like in pretty specific ways? So I don't even always like what I like, and I don't expect other authors to be perfectly up my alley, you know?

Also like . . . I regularly subvert a fair amount of the tropes I'm into, or at least I regularly TRY to, and when I don't, I still examine them pretty closely and like . . . idk, I feel like I explain them pretty thoroughly in my writing, most of the time? So I think that's why a lot of people who don't really like said tropes can get into my stuff more easily than other writers', because it's like, an entry-level approach in that way, but also not necessarily the most fandom-common approach, beause I decided to examine a different part of the trope than the genre I'm working in usually goes for.

Example: when I write DC omegaverse, I generally make Kon an omega, buuuuut the Omega Kon tag on AO3 has, like . . . less than thirty fics in it, while the ALPHA Kon tag has over a hundred--

( GOD I wish people wrote more of Kon, but that is not the point of this reply, haha )

--so like, generally speaking, I'm usually drawn to more gender-fucky and less fandom-typical interpretations when I'm doing omegaverse, which means my concepts are usually a little different from the default assumptions and therefore, like, people are a little likelier to find my stuff, I feel like? Because the tag is less flooded, if nothing else, and also because if you want Omega Kon you probably REALLY WANT IT, given the overall drought of it, hahaha.

( For the record? I didn't even like omegaverse the first time I wrote omegaverse. It was literally just supposed to be a one-off, haha. I didn't like a LOT of things it turned out I really like, the first time I wrote them! )

And also in my experience a lot of people who dislike omegaverse dislike it because they don't like how it approaches sex or gender or feel like it erases the existences and experiences of trans and queer people or just think it's super rape-y, but I get REALLY into the gender stuff and consent and DON'T, you know, forget about the existences of trans and queer people. So like . . . I'm regularly doing an entry-level approach, but also regularly doing a nontraditional approach, so I think I just tend to attract people who don't really "get" the AU/kink/genre/etc that I'm writing and also people who don't like the traditional approach to the AU/kink/genre/etc that I'm writing.

Another example: like, I love kidfic, but when I write kidfic I am writing the kids as characters in their own right, which is admittedly not always a thing that I see people want to do, or comfortable with doing? But I grew up the oldest of four kids, have worked as a nanny, am DEEPLY fascinated by child psychology, and have like . . . four niblings between the ages of three and twenty with a fifth one on the way, hah. So I have at least SOME feel for what kids are like at specific ages, developmentally-speaking, which is an issue I see pop up in a lot of kidfic too. Just like, people describing a seven year-old as being closer to toddler-sized, or having an eight year-old that talks like a high-schooler or just things like that--stuff that can inadvertantly throw somebody who Knows Kids out of a story, basically. Also I have a lot of feelings about Being A Parent as a concept, so like . . . pretty sure that gets in there too, hah.

Basically if I'm writing more than a couple thousand words about a thing, I have a lot of feelings about it?? Like a LOT of feelings.

. . . okay this reply got involved, lol. Whooooops.

Anyway! tl;dr: idk, those are just the feelings I get for why I get that comment from people pretty often?