#i mean i wouldn't recommend it to anyone it's not a fun experience but at the same time...yknow? projecting.

[queenaeducan-writes]

2024 writing round up

i saw it on my dash and wanted to do it! tagging: @blackjackkent, @theshirallen, @dreadfutures, @theluckywizard, @ anyone else who would care to do this!

words posted: Not counting Tumblr RP or I'd be here forever, 76,581. 35,245 of those were Var Shiral'vhen.

additional words written: 21,585 on VS, plus some other WIPs means I have typed about 33,109 words. There are more in my notebook (but probably not a significant amount).

grand total of words: About 109,690 words! <3

fandoms: Dragon Age, HotD, BG3

highest kudos: 187 on The Queen's Pleasure, making it the first fic I ever posted to break 100 kudos.

highest hit oneshot: 2667 on The Queen's Pleasure.

new things I tried:

New fandoms! BG3 got me back into writing for fun before DA reassumed its throne, and I published HotD for the first time, too!

Smut! I published five smut fics on AO3, one on Tumblr, and another that will probably not make it out of the docs I'm gonna be real.

Long fic! Technically I've tried before, but writing Var Shiral'vhen with @theshirallen has been a pretty new experience as someone who mostly writes oneshots. It's been fun, though!

fic I spent the most time on: Var Shiral'vhen on the basis of it being a long fic. For one shots, probably The means by which art is made due it being my first attempt at Solian smut and that ship being very dear to me (and it was originally started back in like 2022).

fic I spent the least time on: I wrote Stronger Where it Breaks (Veilguard spoilers) after I beat DA4 in a short space of time. They will learn was also written similarly quickly.

favorite thing I wrote: I'm going to list multiple answers bc I deserve it.

I think it might be the unpublished Var Shiral'vhen chapter "Rift test take 2" just because I adore the Solas/Ian conversation in that chapter. It really encapsulates what I find fascinating about their dynamic, put them in a room together and they will start vibing even when I wasn't planning on it.

(Veilguard spoilers in the link) They will learn, a fic I mostly wrote for Joly but ended up getting more attention than I expected on Tumblr! I really enjoyed working with Elvhenan worldbuilding and I'm looking forward to doing more with the OCs I started crafting for the purposes of the fic.

(Veilguard spoilers in the link) The shape of you, a really abstract fic that's sex but also isn't sex. It was more a picture than words in my head so writing it down was difficult, but I enjoyed how it turned out esp since I didn't spend too long on it (it was like two sessions of writing).

favorite thing(s) I read:

(Veilguard spoilers in the link) keep my body from the fire (Solas x Felassan) by Almalexiasgf. I loved the depiction of Solas's [redacted] and Felassan's handling of it. It captured everything I love about the new lore surrounding the elves in DA4.

deus proditus (dame aylin & ketheric thorm) by @darethshirl. Such a neat exploration of these characters and their hostile relationship to each other, their love of Isobel, divinity/mortality. Highly recommended!

The History in our Skin (nb!lavellan & keeper deshanna) by @theshirallen. You were a fool if you thought I wouldn't include Joly in this. I love the pain and the peace in this, the impossible choice Deshanna saddles Ian (still a child but in choosing becomes grown) with. "There is no right answer" but only because the world is hostile to everything they are.

it ends, or it doesn't (felassan & an ensemble cast) by @dreadfutures I'm still making my way through this one (VG put a huge dent in my reading habit I carefully built over 2024 lmao) but I love Blue's Felassan POV and the worldbuilding they do for the Dalish/ancient elves. It's so inspiring, and the mystery is so good.

Mien'Harel (solas/felassan, solas & ensemble) by @bodysnatch3r Again, making my way through it, but Matty has such a great use of language and the worldbuilding is so good. I'm going to have my heart broken (more) when I continue I'm sure, but I'd highly recommend checking this one out.

these violent delights (Zevran x f!Tabris, Lucanis & Zev/Warden - Rated T) by @inquisimer. I love love love the Zev/Tabris pairing in this, and the playing off Lucanis is also excellent. I'd highly recommend it for its intrigue and character dynamics!!!

writing goals for 2025:

Continue Var Shiral'vhen

Not burn myself out on exchanges

Try to satisfy the need for engagement w/ more realistic means

Stop comparing myself/my headcanons/my divergences to others

new works: It was only after listing them that I realised I was supposed to just say how many, but I wrote it so it's here now. Anyway. 13!

Var Shiral'vhen (Solas x Nonbinary!Lavellan - Rated M) An adaptation of Solas and Ian's love story as well as Thora's journey as Inquisitor. About finding love in impossible places, undoing the damage the world has done to you, building trust from the ashes of other people's fires.

They will learn (Solas & Original Elvhen Character- Rated G) Veilguard spoilers. The world is new, and so are the people. Solas meets a new invention and sees the beauty and horror of creation.

The shape of you (Solas x Nonbinary!Lavellan- Rated E) Veilguard spoilers. Solas asks Ian a difficult question that Ian has no trouble answering.

Five, Seven, Five (Solas & F!Cadash - Rated G) Veilguard spoilers. Set in Inquisition. After a visit to Cadash thaig, Thora is inspired to write poetry after a lifetime of reading it. She shares it with Solas, as she shares everything with Solas.

Stronger Where it Breaks ( Solas x Nonbinary!Lavellan- Rated G) Veilguard spoilers. On Ian's suggestions, Solas takes up journaling to deal with some of his issues.

Pawn Takes King ( Solas x Nonbinary!Lavellan - Rated E) Technically Veilguard spoilers for the game's hub/home location. After a game of chess results in a rare victory, Ian claims his spoils.

The means by which art is made ( Solas x Nonbinary Lavellan! - Rated E) After Solas discloses his preference for bottoming, Ian tops him for the first time. It is not a night without its setbacks.

In Defense of Spirits (N/A - Rated G) A meta about the spirits of DA:O and how they can be read more sympathetically with the future game's lore taken into account.

The Art of Reading Aloud (Gale x F!Tav - Rated E) Ophelia (Tav) gives Gale a blowjob while he explains the history of the Moonshae Isles to her.

A Study of Hands (Gale x F!Tav - Rated T) An exploration of Gale's mental state throughout act I of BG3 as well as his developing feelings for Ophelia (Tav).

Chip Butty (Gale x F!Tav - Rated E) The morning after the party with her Tiefling kin, Ophelia wakes up with two headaches. One, from wine. Two, everyone expects she bedded Gale the night before.

The Queen's Pleasaure (Alicent x Rhaenyra - Rated E) When the King calls, Alicent does not linger longer than she is wanted. Her return is interrupted by a wayward princess, fresh from a foray into Flea Bottom, and hungry for companionship. Or: What if Rhaenyra had found Alicent before she found Ser Criston?

A Little Light (Jowan & Connor - Rated G) After years of young apprentices giving him a wide berth, lest they catch his talent for mediocrity, Jowan finds himself in the position of tutor to the young Connor.

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

saiki with psychosis has my heart but at the same time i really don't want him to have that, you know? is this anything

[mammoth-clangen]

I love seeing the colour patterns on your clan gen homotherium and smilodon.

They remind me of cat colours. Colour mutations in animals (cats and prehistoric animals on general too) are my special interest

I remember that my favourite smilodon design was the one from Primeval. I still have the box sets and they were my favourite as a kid (and now lol).

Sad that Smilodon was most likely tawny like lions. It apparently lived in open areas so most likely wouldn't have spots or stripes. But that doesn't mean we can't draw them like it. Also I wonder what mutations they did have in real life (like white lions, white tigers, "strawberry" erythristic leopards, albino leopard, and melanistic leopards and jaguars do appear in the wild)

I actually discovered your comic when I followed the homotherium tag after seeing the frozen cub. I once saw lyuba the mammoth at the natural history museum, London, at a limited exhibition. I'm completely obsessed with the permafrost mummies. I hope I get to see more in person one day.

Here's my kitty, Zoe.

Oh my goosh what a cute cat ;A;

here's my creature, Fat Tilly! She's an 11yr old Selkirk rex who likes loafing and lying in the sun c:

And thank you! I adore colour mutations in extant animals and I agree that it's really fun to contemplate them in extinct ones c:

I'm gonna preempt this getting long and put a cut here jhrjhrf

I'm sure you will already have seen this, but for anyone interested in paleoart depictions of colour mutations, I'd really recommend this great article all about it

White Cat, Gold Plains was actually all about the premise of a Homotherium with piebaldism. Pied is one of my favourite pigment mutations because it's so much deeper than integument patterns; it's actually a neural tube defect that leads to distinct behavioural changes. WC,GP was about Kiina, the pied cat, and her struggles with always being view as 'childish' by her peers and struggling to fit in. There was also more human impact in this story, as Kiina gets picked up as a cub by a group of early humans. It was sort of my own experience/musings on neurodivergency played alongside some thoughts on early domestication attempts humans must have had (though we all know that, sadly, Homotherium did not end up domesticated). Pied animals are typically more trusting, which is why you see so many pied domestic animals! (Fat Tilly and Zoe both are, for example lolol)

Also the Primeval Smilodon has one of the most gorgeous and distinct designs of any media sabercat tbh, I really loved the episode as a whole even though it had a sort of sad-but-expected ending.

I don't remember where I read it, but there was someone discussing Smilodon patterns and the conclusion was basically "we can't be sure". While lions are solid as adults, they're spotted as cubs and likely had spotted ancestors seeing Pantherines seem to have strongly contrasting patterns as the default. Machairodontids aren't even the same lineage as Pantherines, so we really can't know what patterns they had except for Homotherium latidens having dark brown cubs! They could just as easily grow into a different adult coat, like hyena do. (side note, I was sorta hoping that absolutely amazing Homotherium mummy news might drag some people to my comic so I'm glad it did lolol)

Smilodon was also likely very ambush dependent, being too bulky for pursuits even as long as modern lions. Disruptive colouration could have helped with this even in fairly open habitats. This is actually why I gave the Ice Fangs very faint stripes; high contrast tiger striping didn't make much sense, but breaking up the outline a little couldn't be a bad thing even in a steppe environment. I also didn't want them completely solid because there are actual lions to differentiate cx

[animeniac-writings]

Child's Favorite Hero - BNHA Boys Preference

Anime: Boku no Hero Academia

Gender Neutral! Can be biological or adopted child, it matters not! no names or gender for the child either.

Ask for anyone else, boys or girls if you'd like! I just thought of this at like 3am and went with it.

Bakugo Katsuki:

If your child says he's their favorite hero:,, he is so preening. Of course he's their favorite, he's the best of the best. His kid of all would know that too.

If your child says some other extra hero is their favorite: ?? Bakugo is furious. Ready to throw hands. 100% has gone toe to toe with some of his old classmates friends for being their favorite. You try reminding him they change their mind every week but he's already challenging Tokoyami to a death match.

Midoriya Izuku:

If your child says he's their favorite hero: He will cry. Even if they've been saying it for years, every time they tell him he's their favorite hero he WILL burst into tears. Over time it will be watery eyes instead of break-the-concrete-waterworks, but he will always be emotional and so happy they he can make them proud.

If your child says a different hero is their favorite: Absolutely agrees with them! He's supportive of all hero and his friends and has appreciated every kind of hero! He's not jealous at all and loves helping them collect merch and ask for autographs for their 'best little fan' (alongside one for him too) and they bond over it.

Shouto Todoroki:

If your child says he's their favorite hero: He will be very surprised, though he's a strong and popular hero, he never really thought of what his child might think of him. He loved All Might at their age and never put too much thought into who they might admire, but when he finds out it's him, that he makes them happy, he becomes so very soft and hugs them. Shows up every time they ask after bragging that Pro Hero Shouto (The Best Hero!) is their dad.

If your child says a different hero is their favorite: Diligently listens to all their rants about their favorite hero! He's happy to encourage their love of heroes like he was never allowed, and will ask Midoriya for recommendations on merch his child might like. Bluntly asks the hero (even if their favorite frequently changes) for an autograph and tells them their his child's favorite hero, becomes very worried that he just made this up and coming sidekick hero turn to a literal puddle of tears.

Kirishima Eijirou:

If your child says he's their favorite hero: Manly tears, Deku challenging tears, he is so emotional. Kirishima always worried that he wouldn't measure up to other heroes, he's not the flashiest, not the strongest on the field, he's happy and comfortable with what he's achieved! But to hear he's their favorite? He loves your kid with all his heart already but now he's about to burst. You find him on his knees crying while they pat his back. Proudly brags he's their favorite.

If your child says a different hero is their favorite: He takes them to meet their hero! Eiji loves listening to them go on about why they like them and tells them how manly their hero is from experience. Will definitely get them merch like posters and hoodies, especially if they're not as popular a hero! He worked so hard for his Crimson Riot merch.

Kaminari Denki:

If your child says he's their favorite hero: Oh man he is so stoked, listen he is a popular hero, fun and flashy, a Present Mic protege, but the fact this HIS KID thinks he's the greatest? Now that's something to be proud of. He brags about it in groupchat immediately. Hugs them as soon as they say it. If he didn't have such a good handle on his quirk, he would have fried himself from happiness.

If your child says a different hero is their favorite: He doesn't really notice how that mean's He's Not the best to them, Kami joins in on their praising of them! He is all for lifting up his fellow heroes and will tell them his greatest stories involving them, even if they're not close or really the nicest hero, he wont dampen your kid's view of them. Definitely takes them along to a function they'll be at without telling his kid.

Tokoyami Fumikage:

If your child says he's their favorite hero: He is very flattered at the praise of his young one, even for his little ray of light in the darkness of his world he did not expect to be seen in such a way. He tells them stories of his heroics (greatly embellished by Dark Shadow) and is very happy each time he hears your child say something about it.

If your child says a different hero is their favorite: His child, biological or not, who follows him like another little shadow, standing beside him with a schooled expression and invites Dark Shadow to all their tea parties, speaks in the same dramatic dark prose as their father, favors the retired washing machine. Tokoyami isn't really sure what to make of that. He's not really a jealous guy but that stung a little. You remind him that they're only three. But they keep talking about how 'cool 'dark and mysterious' the appliance is.

Shinsou Hitoshi:

If your child says he's their favorite hero: Shinsou has never been open or good with his own emotions, but he needs to go take a moment to himself after he hears this. After so much of his life being told he'd be a villain, working so hard to become a hero, Shinsou never thought he'd be someone's favorite hero. Even to his own child. They're often around flashier popular heroes, friends and old classmates he will never shake, with a collection of action figures and hero toys, but somehow HE'S the best in their eyes. Tells Aizawa about it immediately even though he really isn't saying much in shock.

If your child says a different hero is their favorite: He's very interested in who their favorite is and in their reasoning, part of his reason for adoring Eraserhead was what they had in common, curious if your child is the same in choosing. Not as outgoing with Hero Connections as some of the others but Midoriya will not let him down when he asks for your kid to get to meet them, even if Shinsou himself is very stressed about the meeting.

Mirio Togata:

If your child says he's their favorite hero: Proud Dad Moment. You and your kid(s) are always his top priority and he wants to make you both proud, as person and as a hero. But to be told he's their FAVORITE? Wraps them in a big hug and says they're his favorite too. You bring it up later to tease him about their gushing about "The best hero Lemillion" and he gets so flustered.

If your child says a different hero is their favorite: Loves asking why that's their favorite and encourages them to talk about it! If he's met or worked with the hero he tells them all about it! Buys them a nice merch hoodie of theirs right after, he's so proud if it's one of his friends too (if it's Tamaki he will never hear the end of it). He likes telling them about his favorites too (but has them pinky promise not to tell.)

Tamaki Amajiki:

If your child says he's their favorite hero: Please give him a minute, he is babie. Even after he's gained a lot of confidence overtime he still gets overwhelmed and never stops being shocked at his own popularity. But when his child? his greatest joy? says he's "The coolest and bestes hero there is!"?? He can't take it and wants to hide in your arms like old times. Mirio got the whole thing on video and he listens to it again at times.

If your child says a different hero is their favorite: He may be surprised by their choice but definitely listens! There's so many neat and strong heroes and wondered who they might like. If they ask him to let them meet their hero,, he asks Mirio to do it. Unless it's one of the handful of heroes that show up at his house already (Fatgum, Kirishima, Mirio, Midoriya), that's just. A lot.

Toshinori Yagi:

If your child says he's their favorite hero: He may be one of the most loved and popular heroes in the world but he is so surprised and happy hearing them say he's their favorite! You're a little confused he's so affected but Toshinori is a soft man who loves your child and hearing he makes them proud has made him so happy. "I AM HERE!" (said in All Might form, with many tears, before coughing blood.) Also breaks down when they still say he's the best hero even though he can no longer be All Might.

If your child says a different hero is their favorite: A little sad but not butthurt. You will find him moping around the corner after hearing them. He loves his fellow heroes and supports their decision and takes them to meet them! But also tries to "subtly" buy them extra All Might merch too... It's okay Toshinori. Midoriya still loves you.

Aizawa Shouta:

If your child says he's their favorite hero: Somehow this man who has never cared about popularity, is a pretty unknown underground hero with a 'dull' quirk, eyebags for days, and doesn't even like children (lies), has become the favorite hero of his own three kids. He understood Shinsou's admiration from similarities, and Eri has other heroes she loves, but your kid thinks he's the best too? Honestly he's very shocked but adorably flattered by it. Let's Mic talk him into one (1) small merch deal because they wanted something of their #1 Dad and #1 Hero.

If your child says a different hero is their favorite: He's not surprised but will 100% critique their favorites and possibly chastise why, he will give them his personal accounts of the hero and grumble his own opinions while they gush over their favorite, but wont discourage them. Is frankly concerned if it's Dynamight though.

Yamada Hizashi:

If your child says he's their favorite hero: Pray that Shouta is around when they tell him this or you'll all have hearing loss. He is happy, he is SO happy that his favorite little listener thinks he's the greatest hero!! There's an extra skip in his step for days, tells his radio listeners he found his true #1 Fan and is extra flashy in some safely televised battles and asks if they saw.

If your child says a different hero is their favorite: He droops, pouts, whines to you, Shouta, the entire teacher staff. He's not mad but definitely tries to suggest mention that he's a pretty cool hero too... He is wounded for life and needs kisses. Your child even slightly mentions that he's 'kinda cool too' and he takes that as a WIN, he is kinda cool. The coolest.

[aromanticmina]

The 5 common questions people have about aplatonics

so, I've seen so many blogs on the aplatonic tag having to answer the same questions over and over again, so I figured I could make a list so that people can have an easier time getting to the answers they are looking for! (and apl people can just link back to this post if they're asked one of this questions, if they want to)

What does aplatonic mean?

Aplatonic is a term that refers to the lack of (or experiencing little) platonic attraction or platonic love, it can also mean having trouble forming platonic relationships due to trauma or being neurodivergent.

2. Does that mean aplatonic people don't have friends?

Not necessarily, there are aplatonic people who don't (desire to) have friends or wouldn't label any relationship they have as friendship (even though, to an outsider, some would seem as one), for numbers of reasons.

However, there are some aplatonic people who do have friends, but they're not really close to them/don't feel love for them.

love and care are different things, you can care for someone and want the best for them even when you're not close enough to them to love them.

3. But if aplatonic people don't have friends, does that mean they don't socialize with anyone?

Nope! friendships aren't the only way you can socialize with people. Family, classmates, coworkers, lovers, neighbors, those are all people you have have nice conversations with!

4. Are all aplatonics also aromantic?

Not all of them, while it's true that there are a lot of people who are both aro and apl (see: me), there are aplatonics who are alloromantic (feel romantic attraction) or just don't label their romantic orientation.

(fun fact, the original coiner of the aplatonic label is an alloromantic asexual!)

5. Are all aplatonics also loveless?

Again, not all of them, there is a great overlap between the aplatonic and loveless community (shout out to my loveless apls!), but not all aplatonics identify as loveless.

Some love in a romantic way, familiar way, alterous way (if you don't know what alterous attraction is, I recommend looking it up!) or just in a completely unique but ultimately queer way (hi, it's me, I'm lovequeer).

I still don't really get it...

That's okay, you don't have to understand something to respect it, if you're still curious and want to learn more about us, there are multiple blogs on the #aplatonic tag sharing their different experiences with aplatonicism, you just have to know where to look!

And remember! the Aspec includes the aplatonic spectrum, you can't say you support aspecs if you don't support aplatonic people as well!

[lutewife]

Alastor relationship headcanons

gn!reader, hinted acearo spec Alastor, mention of one-sided radiostatic, who knows how many words

Warnings: mostly fluff, I don't think so

Notes: Whew it took me way too much time, but here it is! My first even headcanons! Hope you enjoy it, my darlings!

Platonic:

(I imagine it is after some time or after a certain bond is established between the two of you. Because let's be real, Alastor wouldn't act like that with just anyone.)

Alastor is... Well he certainly is.

To be frank though, I would say he is a generally good friend and a very useful one to boot.

People fear him and that means if you are seen as his friend, let's just say not many demons dare to get on your nerves (unless they are especially stupid).

If they do, just go to Alastor for help. He will deal with it, he doesn't mind getting his hands dirty from time to time. He won't always like it, though, so try not to overdo it.

Prepare yourself to pay him back too. He doesn't demand it, but if you buy him a nice whisky and invite him to dance with you as a thank you, you'll earn a lot of brownie points.

Having a powerful overlord as a friend has its cons though: people just won't leave you alone, especially his fans. If you like the attention: good for you. If you don't: then just deal with them accordingly. Your public image may change for the worse, but who cares, it's hell anyway.

Hanging out with Alastor is usually very chill, though it doesn't happen often, he's a busy man. He likes going out on a walk just as much as he likes visiting a fancy club or restaurant. I wouldn't recommend going to one with him, though. He has... Very questionable taste. If you have a very questionable taste too, then congratulations, you won't give a fuck either way.

Also he's such a gossiper, you can't tell me otherwise. If you're friends with Rosie too, prepare yourself to be drawn into the gossip circle. Soon you'll know every detail about the latest tea.

If it's your turn to choose a place, then just don't go to a cinema, and you'll be good. Unless they are playing black-and-white films, then he will somewhat survive and maybe even have a little fun. Just no modern technology, grandpa Alastor will have a stroke otherwise.

If we're talking about watching something, he fancies going to the theater. Bring him there and you'll get an unforgettable experience. He will be commenting on almost everything that is happening, to the point when you'll need to shut him up, unless you want to be kicked out (this man doesn't know how to whisper or is purposely irritating everyone, I swear).

When he really likes you, he might show you his collection of retro radios and other various antiques. Only if you're interested, though, he doesn't want to bore you.

Now onto physical touch, he isn't a big fan overall. But if you're good friends he won't mind a hug or little touches here and there. He also likes dancing with you. Usually he's leading, so it's not that big of a deal to him. He enjoys the little displays of affection, if you enjoy them too.

To sum everything up: he tries, even if he is a serial killer and a horrible person overall, but we don't talk about that. But either way you get some kind of protection, and hey! Just take it, because hell is not a nice place.

Romantic:

Now onto the good part! Alastor generally isn't a person who is interested in romance, but maybe if you were a special exception... He would catch feelings!

I imagine he won't confess first, he isn't someone who initiates something like that. So you would need to pull yourself together and do it yourself. At first he would be hesitating, though ultimately he will reciprocate. And boom! You're dating Radio Demon just like that.

Many people would be jealous, I imagine he received lots of confessions before, so by being his s/o, you'll get yourself a good amount of enemies (for example Vox you can't tell me, he doesn't have a thing for him).

But don't worry about it, Alastor, trying to be a good partner, will take care of any difficulties.

Actually, I don't think he would even want to announce your relationship publicly, though he won't protest if you wanted to tell your friends. And don't be surprised that when you tell Mimzy, the information would be already known worldwide.

I think dating Alastor wouldn't even differ that much from being close friends at first, but after some time he would slowly ease into doing new things with you.

Like he will come to really like your kisses! His favourite would probably be a kiss on the forehead. He wouldn't really kiss you himself, though. An exception is a kiss on your hand, because he really likes being a gentleman.

He would be a gentleman in other ways too! Like opening the door for you or pulling out your chair for you. Doesn't matter if you're a woman or not, he will treat you with respect either way.

His love language is giving/receiving gifts and quality time! Nothing beats spending time with you, even if you're just sitting in silence. He loves giving you flowers! They are usually wilted, and maybe not really on the pretty side... (More like dangerous). But I mean it's the thought that matters. If you buy him a new addition to his radio collection, he will gladly accept, too! He feels very valued when showered with gifts.

Dates with him will be really enjoyable. They won't differ much from when you were hanging out, but I imagine he would try to be even more fancy. And he will actually think before bringing you to a restaurant, which doesn't suit your tastes.

Alastor would gladly use pet names for you. Darling, sweetheart, love, you got it all! It's all natural for him.

When talking to you, he would use an entirely different tone, sweeter and softer. Yes, he has a soft spot for you, better make use of it!

Your relationship will be progressing slowly, but it doesn't mean he loves you any less. It's just hard for him to be romantic and intimate.

After some time, you will just act like an old married couple mindlessly in love. Your relationship is just like that, comfortable and content. Kissing, holding hands, just pure wholesomeness, which is ironic for such a sadistic and bloodlusty demon like him.

But if you wanted more than that... I mean in a sexual way, I imagine he wouldn't even think about it himself. But if you really wanted that, it would take like fucking centuries, but he would reciprocate. Though maybe not as you thought he would.

[krispycreamcake]

hihi could u do sakamaki with like a former (or current!) idol s/o? also i LOVED your x reader fic i think ive read it like 3 times 😭😭

From author: OH MY GOD THANK YOUUUUU I APPRECIATE THIS SM

Sakamaki brothers with an ex idol s/o

Shu Sakamaki

🎻- I don't imagine he's the type to keep up to date with pop culture or any celebrities nowadays. He'll know some mainstream artists simply for the fact that he literally can't avoid hearing about them

🎻- Unless your music is suuuper popular, he has no idea who you were

🎻- Now depending on why you stopped being an idol, this could be a good thing since he wouldn't recognize you and have assumptions about you

🎻- Now on the off chance that he DOES know who you are, he'll either tease/make fun of your style of music or compliment you

🎻- I beg, do not take his mean girl bs to heart, this man listens to classical music, he of all people shouldn't be judging anyone's music. Ever

🎻- He'll definitely ask you to sing for him just so he could hear your vocal range (perhaps for other reasons than just curiosity)

🎻- Now when he does inevitably realize you were an ex idol, his immediate question is why'd you stop even though he won't voice it

🎻- He'll be glad that you told him as it relieves him of the hassle of getting in your personal business

🎻- As your boyfriend, his top priority is keeping you alive and safe, and trust that he knows how creepy fans can be. Which is why when you're out in public, he makes sure to always know where you are 24/7, keep your face covered with either a scarf or a hat or even his chest

Reiji Sakamaki

☕️- I'm sorry to all you Reiji fans out there, but his top concern is the fact that you both are involved romantically

☕️- Now I'm not saying he doesn't want to be in a relationship and all that, but similar to Shu he knows how obsessive fans can get and is slightly worried that because of that, you'll eventually find out who or what he truly is

☕️- And the only reason I say this, is because of the influence his father has due to how well known he is throughout Japan, and if anyone were to connect the dots and realize that Reiji was his son, with sufficient research, certain things mightn't add up (well that's his biggest fear at least)

☕️- If anything, he's proud that you were able to make something of yourself with your musical talent unlike a certain someone

☕️- The obvious question is why you stopped being an idol, and not like his brother, he'd outright ask you what happened

☕️- He'd do his own research on you and wouldn't even realize that he's spent about an hour and a half looking at fan pages of you and your official website

☕️- When he does realize however, he'd get slightly embarrassed by the fact that he was infatuated by a screen version of you when he has the real you at his fingertips

☕️- If you didn't tell him you used to be an idol and he had to find out on his own, he'll think you're hiding other important parts of your life from him and he'd have a bit of an issue trusting you

Ayato Sakamaki

🏀- Yours truly is dating and idol?? Of course he's bragging to his brothers any chance he gets

🏀- Jokes about how you meeting him was destiny since he wouldn't like his s/o being fawned over by the entirety of Japan

🏀- Asks you about your experiences as an idol, like if you ever had any creepy fan interactions, your type of fan base, how dealing with your managers used to be

🏀- Just know that both Ayato and Reiji are on their s/o's wiki page late up at night (day?)

🏀- Is honestly in love with your stage costumes and absolutely adores your choreography (I have a small hc that ayato can breakdance so he has an appreciation for modern dance styles)

🏀- Gets extremely jealous and annoyed that you used to be shipped with any other pop idols

🏀- Remember that wiki page thing I mentioned earlier? Yeah he'll see the recommended search being "Are your name and random idol dating?" And literally never recover

🏀- "Who do those bastards think you belong to? Ore-sama's your one true match so those other fuckers can piss the hell off!"

🏀- Badly imitates your performances as a means to make fun of you but you always end up laughing with him by the end of it and even joins him

Laito Sakamaki

🃏- He probably knew you were an idol before you did honestly

🃏- Okok jokes aside, he knows who you are and if you think you can lie to him about it, he WILL find a way to contradict you in your own lie

🃏- Honestly, he sometimes even listens to your music

🃏- Laito pegs me as the type of guy to let all your fans know who you belong to

🃏- BEFORE YOU BLOW MY HOUSE UP, yes, I am aware that that's more Ayato's schtick

🃏- But hear me out, if you were Laito and you were dating a super hot, super talented ex idol, would you not leave hickeys in places all their fans could see?

🃏- Think of all the drama you could cause, hearing all their futile guesses on which famous idols could have done it

🃏- He would have a fielddddd day with you, listening to all the gossip about the kind of person you are when he knows none of it is true

🃏- Like all others, he's painfully aware of how weird and obsessive fans can get, so he takes time out of his day to scour the sketchiest of accounts making sure none of your private info is leaked

🃏- He follows you around like a lost puppy just to make sure you aren't idolnapped

🃏- Genuinely sings your songs really well and has at home duets with you

Kanato Sakamaki

🧸- I don't think he keeps up with pop culture THAT much, but he knows general artists

🧸- When he finds out who you are (if you decide not to tell him) he would be pissed ngl

🧸- It's not like he's just a random stranger that you just met, you're supposed to love him and trust him with any and everything

🧸- He'll probably ask you to do some dark twisted thing to prove yourself to him

🧸- He's so in love with your style, like he WISHES you were still an idol so he could sew your outfits

🧸- Actually scratch that, he still makes them for you when you need to do a random ad that a company paid you to do

🧸- He treats you as his own personal mannequin

🧸- From hair, to clothes, to makeup, to nails, he'll do it all

🧸- He asks you to sing with him and it's become his favourite activity

🧸- Sitting on the balcony edge at night with no one to disturb the both of you as his hand cradles yours, your both voices singing in absolute harmony, he physically cannot get enough

🧸- "Mother would make me sing until my vocal chords bled, I doubt you had to do anything as extreme, right doll? Besides, I'm the only one who should be causing you pain."

Subaru Sakamaki

🥀- I know he doesn't look like it, but he's very up to date with pop culture

🥀- He could spot you instantly in a crowded room

🥀- Yes, he's one of your biggest fans ever

🥀- He literally knows the lyrics to most of your songs and would sing them at karaoke

🥀- If you don't mention that you're an ex idol, he'd be glad since that gives him less of an opportunity to embarrass himself

🥀- Stays up thinking about how he's literally dating his idol

🥀- This however makes him wayyyy more of a tsundere than he already is

🥀- He'll act like he knows absolutely nothing about you but somehow knows your favourite colour, animal, food and whether you prefer coffee or tea

🥀- Yeah he will pretend he's never heard of you before but you'll soon catch on when you hear him humming one of your songs when he doesn't think anyone's around

🥀- The only person that can confirm your suspicions are Shu since it wouldn't be the first time this has happened

🥀- Once everything was out in the open, he'd slowly become just a tiny bit more confident in himself and ask the age old question "Why did you quit?"

🥀- Gets jealous with how many of your fans are freaks that make thirst edits of you

🥀- Please reassure him that he's enough for you

🥀- When you're dating a literal pile of talent, you begin to second guess yourself

[lakesbian]

twig faq to answer all of the asks i got regarding my liveblog

Q: holy shit twig turned out bad huh A: yeah

Q: should i read twig? A: no. it's bad

Q: what about the parts of twig that were good though? i noticed that there were parts of twig that seemed awesome before everything suddenly exploded A: okay let me elaborate. the first ~13 arcs of twig are really really endearing when they're focusing on the lambs. when they're being about the lambs, they range anywhere from "cute" to "extremely fun" to "genuinely super compelling" to "shit that made me cry (positive)." we have high points such as:

12yo sylvester lambsbridge fumbles 3 people with crushes on him harder than anyone's ever fumbled in their life in the span of like 7 hours maximum

sylvester lambsbridge does transhet biopunk brokeback mountain

wildbow writes rose thorburn but if she were a hardass trans girl (she's the one doing transhet biopunk brokeback mountain with sy)

gordon dies and lillian copes by taking some of sy's drug that gives him turbo-adhd

helen is there

sylvester lambsbridge experiences what i earnestly believe to be one of the cruelest things wildbow has ever done to any of his protagonists

lots of other stuff, i'm abbreviating here

but the reason i say the first ~13 arcs of twig are good when they're focusing on the lambs is that twig is prone to slogging, strikingly mediocre fight scenes--sy can't fight for Shit, but wildbow still insists on describing, like, sylvester trying & failing to hit someone with a wooden plank with the same gratuitous, lengthy detail as taylor inventing a spider-based saw trap for someone. and unlike the spider-based saw trap, it's not interesting to read about. the arcs take an episodic format, and what this means is that virtually every arc goes on way too long, contains at minimum 40% more tediously detailed fight scenes than are actually necessary, and then leaves you feeling jarred when wildbow inevitably timeskips to the next arc just as the prior one was really getting into the emotional swing of things. i also have a (quite possibly subjective?) sense that twig wasn't as well-developed and thought-out as, e.g., pact, and oftentimes the setting conceit (1900s biopunk frankenstein-y british empire) doesn't feel like it's hitting quite as hard as it should.

for all of these reasons, i wouldn't have rated the first ~13 arcs of twig any more generously than in the 3.5-4 star range while i was reading them, but that's still an overall rating of good. i wouldn't still be thinking about some of the things from the first ~13 arcs of twig if they weren't overall good. if all of twig was the same quality as the first ~13 arcs, i would recommend it to people who i feel like could tolerate the pacing issues & would feel reading about the lambs was worth it.

but. BUT. BUT-

Q: so, twig turns out really bad, huh? what went wrong? A:

it is not all the same quality as the first 13 arcs. it turns out really bad the last 7 arcs are actually atrocious

the first thing that comes to mind if you ask me "what went wrong with twig" is that wildbow tries to write a trans woman as one of the main characters, and he does it badly. miss jessie ewesmont, my new favorite girl whom we need to get the fuck out of a wildbow novel. i think she was written extremely well--and in fact one of the top 2 characters in the book--prior to wildbow trying to handle her coming out. i'd even say the foreshadowing for it was perfectly well done and enjoyable. but after she comes out, during the last 7 arcs of the book?

you know how trans women are often victims of being treated as undervalued, disposable girlfriends, who are expected to coddle & cater to their partner's every whim while receiving effectively nothing in return? and you know how trans women are often treated as if they should be grateful for receiving (what is often less than) the literal bare minimum? and you know how trans women are frequently treated as if it's completely implausible for anyone to find them genuinely attracted or desirable, let alone worth pursuing or putting effort into?

yeah, the last 7 arcs of twig contain untold tens of thousands of words of wildbow reinventing all of that from first principles. this is a subjective experience, but it genuinely felt worse to read than amy dallon. at one point, the Disposable Trans Girlfriend in question literally says "i appreciate you not killing me" after she gets stabbed in her sleep by her boyfriend, sylvester. it's beyond parody. i've never said "WE HAVE TO HIT WILDBOW WITH HAMMERS" more in my goddamned life than while reading the last 7 arcs of twig. Transmisogyny Fucking City. it's a completely unforgivable and miserable reading experience.

and speaking of unforgivable and miserable reading experiences involving bigoted handling of a main character...onto Item No. 2 on the list of writing decisions that ruin twig! the ableism.

wildbow wants all of the lambs to--due to being ill-fated human experiments--have set expiration dates. one of the Main Points hanging over the entire narrative of twig is that every single lamb is, in all likelihood, going to die of complications from the way they've been experimented on before they're even twenty. two of them do die from those complications before the story is even halfway over: jamie's entire mind & sense of being is regularly taken out of his body, and one day, the doctors can't get it back in. gordon is a ~15yo with the heart problems of an elderly man, and they kill him while he's still young enough to make one of his last acts begging to see his dog one last time. it's good. it's tragic, it's interesting.

the problem is that wildbow's decision for how to depict sylvester starting to experience end-stage complications is to...turn sy into an ableist horror movie trope villain. sy hears The Devil telling him to kill his friends, and he just fuckin' blacks out and then comes to like "oh no...what's all this blood on my hands." i'm talking "mental illness is a Demon that can Possess You and make you an Evil Serial Killer" levels of ableist writing. like wildbow straight up turns sy into the joker from the movie joker. it's like that one "insaaaaynenene....assyyylum..... cray-ay-zeee...Insaayne" tiktok, you know the one. it's why he stabs his disposable trans girlfriend.

and it's baffling because: 1. wildbow wrote worm. you'd expect better from him when it comes to writing mental illness. but his skills apparently stop short of being able to depict a character with psychosis without making it cartoonishly ableist. but also, 2., sy doesn't only start becoming mentally ill at the end of arc 13! the previous arcs do very clearly establish that he's extremely codependent with the other lambs and needs continuous support to avoid experiencing life-threatening mental health episodes. he experiences dissociation, he struggles with severe memory loss, he acts erratically, he has self-injurious tendencies, he hallucinates, he talks to himself in public. prior to the start of arc 14, all of that is written with perfectly amenable levels of nuance and empathy towards sy. i wouldn't describe it as glowing representation, or anything, but it's by no means egregious.

but after arc 13? change of plans. now he's the joker from the movie joker, and we have to watch while his friends chain him to an armchair so he doesn't go around randomly cutting peoples hands off in a murderous fugue state.

it's bad. it's extremely bad to read.

the third item regarding how/why twig becomes terrible is a lot more simple to summarize: it becomes almost entirely about the previously mentioned sloggy fight scenes as opposed to about the lambs. and when it is about the lambs, it's often terrible to read anyway, due to the aforementioned issues with the handling of protagonist sylvester lambsbridge and his disposable trans gf. the plot becomes incoherent and uninteresting to the point where it's not even worth the effort of attempting to summarize how or why. everything that made twig good more or less entirely disappears from the story, and things that make it fucking awful are added.

Q: okay but lets say i have something unfixably wrong with me and i want to read twig anyway. wheres the best stopping point? arc 13? A: yeah it's arc 13. it's not a satisfying stopping point at all though. nor is the rest of twig prior to it really worth it. just don't waste your time. go read a good book, like pact, instead

Q: what the fuck is up with helen? A: :)

[horrorshow]

Can you talk about why you think blocking and moving on is a bad thing? I thought it was a way to curate your space and avoid drama

idk maybe i'm too idealistic but fandom is a much more friendlier, welcoming, supportive, creative, engaging, active, diverse and interesting space when it's treated like a community where people are encouraged to participate and talk about their interests and where there's space for niche or more unpopular opinions without these people having to worry about being blocked and feel unwelcome by the majority of the fandom they are in. i can't stand how blocking everyone you disagree with has become the first thing to do.

you say its 'to curate your experience'. but blocking people does not only curate YOUR experience. you're also forcefully curating other users' experiences. and not for the better.

people say 'i will block you for literally anything' and then those same people wonder why engagement is down, why no one sends asks, why no one reblogs, why rarely anyone talks in the tags anymore and why this place feels so dead and boring and quiet. i wonder why!!!!

people treat real people as annoying ads they can dispose of at their whim. but that's not how a fandom or a site like tumblr works. (besides, if you really care about people curating their own experience you wouldn't block people. you can filter and blacklist and never see them again while still granting them the same freedom instead of actively making their experience worse.)

you say its to avoid drama. but seeing a post you dont agree with is not 'drama'. and blocking is not solving anything except for you personally. fandom was more fun when we remembered that every user is a real person you share a space with, and probably some mutuals as well, so you find a way to live with each other. starting with a restraining order seems a bit excessive and is not contributing to anything. it's not that hard to be respectful and tolerate others and acknowledge people have different opinions and interests and still co-exist in peace. its not that hard to be nice to people and try to find common ground with them and interact with the stuff you DO like. you do this in every aspect of your real life, so why not online?

i hear you say: 'but that requires WORK and i don't NEED to do any of that bc i can just block them'.

yeah, you can try to create your own bubble and only hang out with like minded people but you wont EVER fully achieve that (no matter how much you block, social media WILL keep feeding you posts you disagree with bc it makes them money). social media WILL pressure you into an 'us vs. them' mentality where you constantly feel like everything online is a threat or an argument you have to win and where being mean and unnuanced gives you the most notes and where you don't even see, let alone be able to treat, other users as people anymore bc you don't interact with them anymore other than to block or fight them. that's not how i want it to be online. it's not fun to me. and maybe i'm a pessimist but i think it will eventually be the death of online fandom and sites like tumblr. look at the state of twitter right now. DOES blocking give you a better experience in the long run? i doubt that it does. overall, i think it makes people even less tolerable and more vulnerable to hate and fear mongering, and social media an even more hostile place.

it's everything i hate about social media and everything i want to fight against and WILL fight against. i won't pretend my meager contribution will change anything, but i LIKE to just scroll past posts i don't vibe with and not see every argument online as a personal offense. it keeps me curious. most posts aren't that bad when you know the person behind it. i mean, you do you, i'm not gonna say what you should or shouldn't do bc that's up to you, but i recommend it: free yourself of the block button and bring back supportive user communities based on a shared love for the same thing and focus on what you have in common with people, just like you would do in real life. save the block button for the rotten apples who DO keep trying to pick fights and exclude others.

(which is, now that i think about it, probably the main difference: most people see the block button as a neutral way to prevent worse. but. that's only the case on an individual level. and treating everything online as an individual choice to which there are no further consequences, especially if they happen on a larger scale, is already a loss.)

[six-costume-refs]

Six Makeup: Masterpost and Links

Hey y'all! Finally finished up a long promised post: all of my makeup suggestions for SIX cosplayers (and/or fans who just want to do some cool makeup looks)!!! I've been actively working on this post for about a year now and compiling makeup for even longer, so I'm happy to finally finish it. I'll get into more details in a moment, but first things first:

I'll include all the links below, but for easy access I made a handy-dandy Pinterest board. It is sorted by costume (sections for each queen + alt costume) and you can clink on any pin to be taken directly to buy it. I would recommend that people look there for a more visual/easy look at the recommendations; I realize pure text can get a bit old!

Some notes: - All of these links are to US sites, with a variety of US and UK sources. Most of these brands ship internationally and/or are available on Amazon as well. - I tried to factor in a large variety of material colors/shades, skin tones, and financial budget. You'll find a mix of US and UK-based brands, mainstream and smaller brands, drugstore versus more upscale, and some brands owned by women of color. - There's a broad range in the companies listed in terms of their ethics, animal testing, politics, etc. I'm including as many companies as possible to give people as many options as possible, but some of these I wouldn't personally financially support. I would strongly suggest that anyone do their own research into the brands listed. - Many of these products may be harsher on skin than your typical products. I'd suggest considering any potential allergens and skin testing any product before use, and using your regular base (foundation, blush, etc) to minimize the number of new products. (If you have sensitive skin or are worried about toxicity, I'd suggest Skin Deep for toxicity information and the FDA site for information on common irritants) - The vast majority of the makeup on this list is products that I know Six actors use. However, just because someone in Six uses it does not mean it's necessary to achieve a great look - there are many great alternatives for just about any product, and what works for a specific actor may not be what works best for you. (I'd also note that the vast majority of queens use some fairly cheap makeup, so you never need to feel like you have to pay more to get "stage accuracy") - Factor in where you're intending to use your products. Six uses some extreme stage makeup and truly crazy lighting; if you use these products with the exact same intensity in just about any other context, it will be way overkill. Convention lighting tends to be harsh so you can usually go a bit heavier there, particularly if you're intending to do any on-stage performances. But for everyday use or a closet cosplay to go see Six or an outdoor meet-up with natural light you will usually want to go much softer. (Photoshoots are a whole other can of worms and really depend on specifics) - Some of this information is taken from a series of Instagram stories Erin Ramirez did. I'm still writing up a post of everything she suggested, but I'll link it here when finished. - And, finally, have fun experimenting and finding what works for you!

Links to recommendation posts and inspiration: Glitters/shimmers Palettes, eyeshadows, and other accents Lipsticks (coming soon) Erin Ramirez's recommendations MAC partnership link Eye look inspiration (my Pinterest board)

[claryshifts]

Making American Horror Story DRs "Safe"

I'll update this with each season I watch! Most of this will focus on one of the "Evans" bc I know a lot of yall horny bastards wanna hop on him (real) Each section will have an "ultra safe" paragraph and a "safe as possible?" paragraph. idk -Murder House: Option One: The house isn't possessed or whatever you want to call it. Hell, you don't even have to live in it. Though Tate has problems with his mom (that adds a lot to his character, so I'd still 'keep that'), he's never had terrible thoughts of doing what he did at that school or any other gross things. I personally would still 'script out' the self-harm. Wouldn't want my partner to suffer that Option Two: If you still want that ghostly experience, then sure, by all means, live in the haunted house. but maybe cut out the satan part... Also script the ghosts don't have shitty timing (they don't bother you in the bathroom or when you're sleeping, for ex). If you want Tate as a ghost and not alive, still, don't date a ghost mass yknow what  😭  😭  BONUS: instead of tate, date violet 🥰🥰 -Asylum: Option One: You can live a nice quiet life with Kit. it's the 60s though, so if you're fem/poc/lgbt/etc, keep that in mind. whenever I go to a reality in the past I script I don't get bored without technology lol Option Two: have fun at the asylum, ig, boo. If you want some edgy lore, pls don't script you're a psycho killer or something omg 😭. Script none of the people in charge inflect punishments on you. If you really wanna get freaky in that musty place, script you don't get caught... and that its not all musty... -Coven: I got a lot to say bc I think Imma make a script for this too haha Option One: no scary demon devils or whatever. Uh, Kyle isn't treated like a sex object???? Nothing bad happens to Nan (she deserves better). If Kyle has to die (that sounds so weird to say) for your lore or whatever, don't purposely give him a traumatizing experience. this isn't a fan fic,, that's your REALITY. Honestly you could just script you're a silly little witch hanging out in New Orleans and call it a day. Madison isn't annoying af. No Axe Man. LaLaurie being Queenie's "slave" was deserved but maybe just script her 'out' altogether... Option Two: Okay, so you want the drama. Have the drama! Still no demon devils though cuz that does NOT sound fun. Script you and the people you care about are all safe from harm. If Kyle HAS to go through that terrible experience (I'm his biggest defender as you can tell), at least keep Madison and Zoe away or at bay bc seeing them fight over a guy who can't even say "food" and OBVIOUSLY can't verbally consent was so uncomfy, for me at least. -Freak Show: Option One: no scary clowns. The "freaks" aren't treated like shit. Neal Patrick Harris doesn't show up with his puppet??? No one is trying to make money off of the freaks. None of them are murdered or harmed. Option Two: Ig if you still want the plot they still have to be treated pretty shitty. Still would apply everything else though, as well as the fact nothing happens to you.

-Hotel: Option One: Ok look James March. Wonderful man. Make him NOT a serial killer omg. If you get with him I'm convinced a relationship with him would be straight up Morticia and Gomez uishfuihfjsf I want him so bad. Anyway, if he's your man keep the countess off your back, if you keep her there at all. I wouldn't recommend making yourself a ghost bc idk WTFFF that would mean for you spiritually. You could be sexy March's sexy human partner. Or the countess' partner. Anyone's partner. but alive. Um no 10 commandment killings of any sort, and no vampire children???

Option Two: ngl idk how else to put this?? idk if there should be an option 2 ;-;

Currently on Roanoke! this season is so boring I might not write anything for it

[tigreblvnc]

YOUR LIFE IN BLUE LOCK — @multifandomsillies

BACKGROUND HEADCANONS;

♤ You played soccer fairly casual at first, just participating on the school team. But your skills of adaptability and creativity quickly put you above the average skill level.

♤ Because of this, you were eventually recommended to play soccer outside of school, with a club.

♤ You went along with it, really just because why not. Sounded like a fun experience! Surely there was something to gain or grow from it.

♤ And again, your skill made you a highly valued member.

♤ You were scouted by Ego, he wanted to see how much he could make you evolve, and truly bring out a passion for soccer.

♤ And evolve you did. A deeper desire to help lead your team to victory

COLOR AURA;

♤ A sky-ish blue

♤ #63a2ff (or something similar)

♤ It’s a less intense than many other blues, but still one of the stronger ones.

♤ Blue is known to be more calm, and laid back then the others. But not quite as soothing as a green may be.

♤ This provides a good balance of laid-back, but still quite focused

♤ As an aura, its definitely noticeable, mainly because it’s not as harsh as your teammates (ex. Aiku’s lime green, Barou’s bright red). It gives a uneasy feeling, as if it may overtake the field if you don’t keep a good eye on it, much like many bodies of water.

TEAM SELECTION;

♤ Ubers

♤ Given your values, and preferred environment, Ubers is the best place for you to go!

♤ A good team where everyone contributes. Yes there’s the power points, but every one on the field is holding up, there’s minimal tension between them.

♤ No one there wants to lose at the fault of others, so they all play their part.

♤ You get to play as you wish, as Ubers isn’t as strict as other teams with how they go about their plays

♤ Overall, it’s where your skills get to be used the most.

BEST FRIEND;

✦ Pepper :D Definitely one of the most surprising matchups in this series.

✦ I think there was an instant connection between you and Oliver.

✦ You both have that relaxed and laid-back vibe, but don't be fooled by appearances: you're both incredibly tough and stubborn beneath your calm exterior.

✦ In fact, you kind of form a brother-sister duo on the field.

✦ Meaning, you can rely on each other when needed, and you understand each other well without necessarily needing to speak. Let's be real: those are the best kinds of duos.

✦ Oliver is a fantastic mediator—he's great at managing and easing team tensions, making him a very important pillar because he's reliable and competent. I think these qualities immediately appealed to you.

✦ Likewise, he appreciates your sleepy demeanor but also your knack for coming up with alternative scenarios to get the team out of trouble.

✦ Really, this dynamic is pure gold.

RIVAL;

✦ Now, let's talk about your rival…

✦ It's hard to imagine Sae viewing anyone as a rival, given that would mean he respects the person. Which, let's be honest, is rarely the case.

✦ Buuuut… I do think you share a few qualities that might bring you closer in some way or another.

✦ For one, you're very versatile and adaptable—a quality he shares! You both have that detached, outside-of-it-all vibe. And let's not forget, though it's rarely mentioned, that Sae is capable of imagination too. He just doesn't bother with it because everything is far too easy for him, so he doesn't need to make the effort.

✦ But these traits, I think, could create a really interesting dynamic between you two. Not a direct rivalry, as it would likely stay very cordial. You probably wouldn't talk much, but I like to imagine you both observing each other from a distance. When the ball comes near, there's that spark in each of you, wondering if the other will succeed.

✦ In short, we're talking about a subtle rivalry here, one that no one would suspect. But you both know the truth.

POSITION ON THE FIELD;

✦ Goalkeeper.

✦ And due to your position as a goalie, there's a fascinating mechanism in play.

✦ Sae's a midfielder: he's the one passing the ball to the striker, who's supposed to score.

✦ But when you manage to block the ball, the crowd goes wild, but Sae?

✦ Well, I think Sae takes the time to look at you. To assess your reaction speed and your skill in anticipating the ball's trajectory. He recognizes all these qualities, and I can easily imagine him muttering that he doesn't know any good goalkeepers. Doesn't know any, except one.

✦ I also like to think that back when he was a striker, this rivalry held a lot of weight and power, probably energizing your matches. That's probably one of the few things missing for Sae as a midfielder today: someone strong enough to stop him.

✦ Now, your position is supported by Oliver playing defense, and the dynamic has evolved. Who knows? Maybe one day you'll step out onto the field to reawaken that competitive spirit against the elder Itoshi. After all, he's already shown it's possible to move from one position to another.

© TIGREBLVNC 2024 | OCTOBER '24 MATCHUPS EDITION.

[gothethite]

Tired of people going 'all goth fashion is super easy to diy and everyone should do that instead' because like... yes a lot of it is but some very much not. So some thoughts on how much I'd recommend diying various goth fashion stuff as someone who does a lot of it:

Simple jewellery is definitely much better to diy and particularly chains and stuff. I remember going to dangerfield one time and they had a chain with a bat ornament on in for 20 dollars 🤣 ... you can get a bunch of chain from the hardware store pretty cheaply and the exact same bat pendant on it I had got like 20 off etsy for 5 dollars. It usually doesn't take that long and extra tools e.g. pliers are helpful but not necessary - 10/10 absolutely recommend for all goths or other people interested in gothic fashion

Same thing goes for distressed clothing/fishnet shirts there are tons of tutorials for that kind of stuff, and it generally doesn't require that much time, experience or materials 10/10

Minor clothing modifications e.g. some tailoring, adding/removing parts, mending damaged old clothing, changing buttons - this is something that is really useful in everyday life, usually doesn't take that long and is very useful for turning normal clothing into more spooky stuff 9/10

Designs on clothes or patches: if you get some fabric paint, screen printing ink, bleach or even acrylic you can paint designs onto clothing pretty easily. Personally I like dilute screen printing ink as it gives the nicest surface, but it can be a bit of a pain to use as you have to do a lot of layers, and it doesn't colour the fabric intuitively in the way that fabric paint or acrylic do 8/10 - would recommend very strongly to anyone who enjoys art, and recommend trying at least once to people who don't enjoy art as much (you can always make stencils), but it does take a long time and you need some materials. Also, for patches particularly for small bands it can be better to order them from the band to support the artist, but also lots of bands don't have patches or merch or international shipping to some countries makes it not accessible

Embroidery: often looks really good and professional in a way that painted designs don't, takes absolutely ages. 7/10 - would recommend very highly for people who enjoy textile stuff and maybe trying a bit for everyone but yeah if you don't enjoy it it's a pain

Smaller articles of clothing: I've made some waistcoats and shirts and stuff which have been pretty fun and it's really good to be able to do specific designs you wouldn't be able to buy (e.g. my skeleton one) and get stuff to fit right. They were all hand sewn and took a pretty long time (however you can also do it while listening to online classes or whatever), + a bit of time to learn techniques and stuff. Definitely a cheaper than buying them 6.5/10 - do it if you enjoy textile art stuff but will probably be a really painful experience if you don't and you're hand sewing. Also useful if you've got sizing or dimensions that mean you just... can't buy stuff that'll fit which is how I got into sewing

More complex sewing: I've made 2 (well, finished one and 98% of the way through another) long spooky coats and one cape with really complicated edges and embroidery and stuff. Coat 1 was entirely by hand out of not great fabric and took absolutely ages but was definitely vastly cheaper than buying it from the store, and it fit well and everything. With the cape, I got repetitive strain injury in my thumb that still is a bit of a problem 3 years later! With the final coat it was mostly by machine and then touching some stuff up by hand e.g. edges of the lining, making the eyelets and stuff, but it still took ages. Also, something I never see people talking about with diy goth clothing is how hard it is to get the materials - there were only 3 black brocade fabrics available in my city - One was really bad quality and I tried to make a shirt out of it, but it kept falling apart. One was 150 dollars a meter. The one I ended up using was really nice and reasonably priced, but I got the last 2.5 meters of it so it almost wasn't an option. So when people talk about diying clothing being cheaper it can actually not be that much because a clothing business can get fabrics in bulk + unless your city is really big there are probably not many options, so there's also shipping costs if you then need to order fabric. Out of curiosity I compared how much the coat cost in terms of materials to the price of a similar looking coat off dracula clothing which is a pretty well known and apparently quality materials and ethically made goth fashion shop and it came out a bit cheaper but not massively so (not counting shipping...) so 3.5/10 - fun to do if you enjoy textile art as a hobby, not even vaguely a practical alternative to buying a coat

And then there's other stuff like more complicated jewellery making and leather work which idk much about

[daffooo]

Self indulgent Signalis OC because I'm obsessed.

Art is not mine, from a Picrew that gives permission to post anywhere with credit linked here. I wanted to credit the creator's official Tumblr rather than just linking their Picrew but I think their blog is lost.

KSAR

Kasuar: KSAR - Koordinator für Statistische Analysen Replikant

(Cassowary: Statistical Analytics Coordinator Replikant.)

In the wake of the Eusan Nation's prioritization of bioresonant and replikant technology, most other avenues of technology remained underutilized and far less advanced. Computerization for mass calculations is no exception. Anything from convenient spreadsheets to finding the perfect trajectory to launch an interstellar vessel would require hundreds of trained professionals to handle.

Enter the KSAR. This replikant is the number crunching workhorse of the Eusan Nation. Their jobs are self explanatory, much like ARARs handle the mechanical technology of most facilities, KSARs handle the long form computing manpower, each with the efficiency of multiple gestalts that would have needed years of training. They are the backbone of the Eusan Nation's computerization power that work around the clock to ensure that all computerized technology runs smoothly.

Due to the lack of need for any physical prowess, KSARs are designed cost-efficiencently, with a generally slim and short stature at 167cm as physical labor is not in their requirements. This does make them compact to the point where they are easier to decommission and replace instead of fix if particularly damaged.

KSARs' personalities are as calculative as their tasks, rarely having any strong feelings about anything other than completing a task, it is recommended that KSARs have a mandatory leisure time of at least one hour per day outside of sleep and eat or they will continue to work to the point of damaging themselves, this is also important as overexertion often leads to early signs of persona degradation.

Aside from this, KSARs are particularly easy to maintain as they scarecely deviate from expected behaviors and can easily be trusted to work efficiently unsupervised, in fact interrupting their workflow can cause them to become irrationally frustrated. It is recommended to ignore any attempts to argue from them and deactivate their workstation at scheduled times. KSAR persona degradation is particularly rare as so long as they remain in their dedicated work environment, they will not speak to anyone beyond what is necessary for their job, nor will they experience any stimuli which would create degradation. This coupled with their carefree nature and lack of personal ego makes them a highly stable neural template.

Below is classified information.

The neural template for the KSAR is Jeanne Hohl, a respected mathematician that made major contributions to many of the Eusan Nation's projects, singlehandedly making several possible. In order to cover her existence, several of these accomplishments were attributed to her colleagues in order to still allow the scientific community to benefit from her work. This does however mean that her legacy is dead, no longer belonging to her, but instead serving the interests of the glorious Eusan Nation. Jeanne pictured below.

~

Writing might've been a bit clunky but it's late and this was all in a fit of passion lol. I had a lot of fun writing her, and I hope to maybe make a few stories with her. She's a free OC as far as I'm concerned so if anyone's fic needs an analyst Replikant you wouldn't even really need to credit me if you wanna use her.

[rockanroller]

Insights Into "good" vs. "bad" Animation Rates & Why Animators Might Agree to Work for "low pay"

with the Discord screenshot going around from Spindlehorse Writer and Production Supervisor Adam Neylan revealing some rates they offer, i thought i'd give some insights into the complex topic of animation rates and animators as someone who has done animation work and had many a conversation with peers & mentors about what i should/shouldn't agree to when it comes to pay and productions.

to start with a general statement:

most of what i'm about to say can apply to any and all jobs. animation is not the only industry with low-paying jobs ppl still agree to work, and "currently, 30 states and Washington, D.C., have minimum wages above the federal minimum wage of $7.25 per hour." that means 20 states still only pay $7.25/hour for minimum wage which is not livable, of course jobs in those states may offer more.

i do not say that to downplay or forgive poor wages, only to show animation isn't an isolated case, but it doesn't make it any less awful. and the tricky thing with animation/art is there are more factors to consider than a simple yes or no answer.

and, for your consideration, these are the wages listed by the Animation Guild, they are shown mostly by hourly and weekly rates, and range from $35-$57 per hour, and mainly apply to big studios. you can see wages from specific Big Studios on this page. including Bento Box whose wage minimums ranged from $22-$42 per hour depending on the job as of July 7th, 2023.

any opinions expressed in this post are my own or summarized from others i've spoken with, they're subject to change in the future as i learn more. the goal of this post is to be informative.

"why would an animator agree to a job paying low wages?"

needing the money no matter how poorly it pays and/or having a hard time finding work in the current state of the industry

plain old artistic passion (((they love the work or the project so much they want to be a part of it even if it means low pay)))

they want/need to build their portfolio or resume

they've been recommended to do it by a friend or mentor

they know the crew/studio provide a good work environment despite their low pay

they feel they can get the job done fast enough for it to be worth the pay

they have something else supporting them financially (another job, their family/spouse/partner, etc.) so they can afford to work a side gig for pocket change or just for fun

being a friend of the creator OR anyone on the production, leading to a desire to help out even if it means they wont be paid much

they live in an area of the US or another country that has a lower cost of living (((i.e. if your rent is $3000/mo VS. if your rent is $1000/mo)))

they agreed with the job/rate the employer/client initially offered them, but the employer/client changes or adds onto the job once production starts (((sometimes this can be a situation known as "job creep" where you agree to do one job, but later they ask you to take on responsibilities or "small tasks" from other jobs while only paying you for the one job.)))

on that last bullet you may be thinking... "well they should just quit then, why wouldn't they?" here's some reasons why, some are the same as above:

needing the money/not being able to find another job so badly they find a way to do whatever is asked of them

same plain old artistic passion mentioned above (((they want to see it through/complete the task/complete the vision even if it means they might experience stress or burnout)))

they have something else supporting them financially so doing more/extra work isn't a huge hinderance

they have friends on the production they may not want to "abandon" or "let down" OR, alternatively, having friends on the production makes the work easier to stomach

despite the extra work/low pay the work environment is enjoyable for one reason or another (community, support, fun, etc.)

fearing it could ruin their reputation as a worker / burn bridges with their connections on the production / limit their ability to get another job with the same studio or other studios later on

fearing saying "no" might breach their contract or agreed terms

not being experienced or confident enough to stand up for themselves in the workplace/not knowing their rights (this isn't uncommon, many people do not know the extent of their rights as a worker.)

"what makes an animation wage good or bad?"

this gets a bit trickier bc it is a complex subject that can change based on the project and your personal skills/needs as a worker.

"paid per second"

the "per second" wage is one that's used bc it's very easy for the client to plan their budget with. but it's been debated back-and-forth among workers whether or not it's "fair," especially if the client isn't open to discussion or willing to pay extra for exceptions.

some workers, even though they will agree to work for it, feel this method shouldn't be used bc there are factors it doesn't take into account, while other workers are fine with it.

the limitations of the "per second wage" are:

not every animator works at the same speed

if you're paid $35/second and 1 second takes you an hour to animate then you made $35/hour, but if 1 second takes you 3 hours you made only $11.66/hour, and so on. one might argue an animator simply needs to "improve" in order to make the same "worth" as their peers who work faster--but everyone works differently, and if an animator who works slower is good enough/a more thorough worker, they can still be preferred over a faster one.

it doesn't take revisions/retakes into account*

*this limitation can be remedied if the employer/client includes revision/retake rates or amounts, or is open to discussing extra pay for excessive revisions/retakes. revisions/retakes occur when someone in the pipeline (the lead, the supervisor, etc.) discerns that something was missed or needs to be improved / fixed in an animation. generally one or two small revisions (missing a line, there's a small area that didn't get colored, etc.) are not a big deal and can be fixed quickly. but if there are a multitude of revisions (multiple missing lines/color) or huge revisions (having to re-do an animation completely) that can create a bigger workload for the worker or whichever co-worker their work gets passed to. and you might think "well the error was the worker's fault therefore they shouldn't be paid to fix it" but it's a part of the job. no animator is perfect, and unless you're senior veteran Disney level you're going to get a few notes back. (even the veterans aren't perfect and get notes as well.) not to mention leads might disagree on what is or isn't a necessary fix or adjustment to make on an animation.

it usually is a flat rate that doesn't take complexity into account*

*this limitation can be remedied if the employer/client includes higher rates for more complex shots or is open to discussing a higher per-second rate for more complex shots or additional pay if the job becomes more work than previously thought but, for example, if everyone is being paid a flat $35/second rate no matter what and you get a shot where all you have to animate is a character taking a sip from a glass, but your co-worker has to animate a shot of a character doing crazy parkour, one is going to take longer than the other while getting the same amount of pay. if you complete yours in 2 hours you made $17.50/hour, if your co-worker completes theirs in 5 hours they only made $7.00/hour for a more complex shot.

so overall the "per second issue" has limitations but they can mostly be remedied if a client is open to discussing extra pay/higher rates when the workload exceeds the original agreement.

hourly rates are generally a more "financially secure" option for workers.

however hourly rates can get more expensive and are harder to plan a budget for, since everyone works at different speeds, thus why many clients, especially for productions with limited budgets such as indie, go for the "per second" rate.

job scope

this is where things get difficult to judge bc they vary depending on the production as well as your needs/availability/skills as a worker.

for the sake of example lets compare something that came up in discussion over the screenshot linked at the top of this post: Monkey Wrench's rate VS. Spindlehorse's rate.

breaking down the workload

generally speaking, most shots are only a few seconds. they tend to average around 2-8 seconds, but can be as long as 10+ seconds.

the last rate offered for Monkey Wrench's 3rd episode was $20.38/second, at that rate you could make anywhere from $40.76-$163.04 or $208.30+ per shot of completed roughs or completed clean-up.

at Spindlehorse's rate they chose for Hazbin Hotel's finale episode with A24 & Bento Box of $35/second you could make anywhere from $70.00-$280 or $350 per shot of completed roughs or completed clean-up.

is SH's more than MW in this case? yes. however, there are other factors to consider:

what was the framerate? (12 fps VS. 24 fps, etc.) (((how many frames get displayed per second)))

what were they animated on? (1s, 2s, 3s, 4s, etc.) (((this means how often you make a new drawing, 3s = a new drawing every 3 frames, 1s = a drawing on every frame. at 24 fps that's 24 frames in a second, on 3s that would be 8 drawings on 1s that would be 24 drawings.)))

how detailed are the characters/show style?

how complex is the movement?

how long did you have to complete the animation? (((if you have 1 week to complete an animation you will need to work more hours each day to complete it VS. if you had 2-3 weeks to complete the same one you could work less hours each day, maybe even take one off if you're working efficiently enough.)))

were you asked to take on a bigger workload than you signed on for? and did they offer to pay you the same or more for it?

how many revisions are included in your rate? what's the pay for additional revisions that aren't included in the rate?

was the workplace environment good or bad?

in other words, speaking hypothetically, if you have to animate several frames of detailed characters doing complex movements and you're asked to do more work than you agreed to in a bad work environment, making that $70-$350+ per shot is gonna suck and might cause you stress or even physical/mental harm from burnout that could hinder your ability to continue working...

...to the point that even if you still had to animate several frames of detailed characters doing complex movements, you may prefer to work the job that pays $40.76-$208.30+ per shot if, at the very least, it's a better workplace environment. although you may still choose to do work for the higher-paying job if you really need the money.

we can't make a super clear call on if SH or MW's wages are fair with all of the above factors bc they're either difficult or impossible to know unless we have worked, or hear from people who did work, on the productions themselves. however we *do* know that Adam Neylan claimed the animation for HH's finale episode would be "less intensive" in the screenshot linked at the top of this post, and at least one person who agreed to the offer received shots that were on 1s which *is* more intensive. (link to one other instance of this claim.)

budget / studio size

this topic also gets complicated as an employer/client doesn't typically tell you the exact budget they're working with and where all the money is going.

though they do tend to inform their workers with something like "we're working with a small/limited budget" or "we have plenty of budget" and all you can do is trust that they're being honest. however, indie productions like Lackadaisy and Monkey Wrench have been transparent about where their budget goes. (Lackadaisy budget, Monkey Wrench budget.) So far to my knowledge Spindlehorse has not. (as of making this post on 1/8/2024)

now first and foremost: yes, everyone deserves fair pay regardless of how big or small a client/studio is or how large or limited their budget is.

that being said, sometimes workers are willing to grant exceptions to smaller clients with smaller budgets, especially if they're passionate about the project, they have faith in their employer/client, or are having a hard time finding work and really need the money even if it's not a lot.

the reason many people are upset with the SH screenshot is that, while SH says they offer $60/second normally on Helluva Boss (which while on the better end of per-second rates is still not ideal), they can only offer $35/second, despite the fact they are doing work for A24 / Bento Box, with Bento Box usually offering minimum wages of $22-$42 PER HOUR depending on the job (page 4).

whereas for a much smaller indie project like Monkey Wrench, workers might be more forgiving when most of the money comes straight out of Zeurel's own pocket, as well as the fact that Zeurel does a lot of the animation himself.

and while SH pays much more per second for their indie show compared to Monkey Wrench, SH may have much more money coming in from views & merch sales, they also have much more heavily detailed characters. (in other words an animator might be willing to agree to less pay per second if the characters aren't very detailed or aren't doing a lot of complex movement.) that doesn't mean it's "good" that MW can only afford to pay $20/second, but some workers may be more forgiving given the circumstances.

what if some people are saying they had a good time working on a project while others are saying they didn't?

in relation to everything i've already stated above, the personal experience one has working on a production is equally varied.

generally speaking there are few projects who come out with a fully satisfied crew. there will almost always be at least one worker who had a bad time.

when considering if someone's bad experience is a sign of a bigger issue on a production you have to use your best discretion and accept you may not be able to make a clear call for sure until more information comes out.

sometimes people are telling the full truth of their personal experience, and the workplace *is* bad. other times they're telling the full truth of their personal experience but the factors that caused their bad experience were specific to them/their life, and the place they worked *might* be good for a majority of people.

on the flip side...

use caution when you see the "well *I* had a good time" or "well they were nice to *me*" defense

while numbers can be good (such as if more people are saying good things than bad things) one still has to be wary of confirmation bias as well as why someone might not speak up about a bad experience.

for confirmation bias; someone simply declaring that they had a good time on a production/with a creator insinuating that therefore others couldn't have had a bad time is, simply put, naïve. not to mention disrespectful and ignorant.

example: a group of people can go to the same party where one has a bad time and the rest have a good time. that doesn't mean the party was undeniably good. the party was a different experience for all of them. the host can potentially do something different at the next party to make it better for the one who had a bad time, or that person may decide not go to those parties anymore. if multiple people had a good experience at the party, then sure it's more likely it was "good" by majority, and more people should go--however there could still be an unseen problem such as "the host frequently attempts to get unwilling people drunk," and only a small handful of people have experienced or witnessed it. that's a problem that needs to be fixed, but the majority of party-goers might object to this because they "can't believe it's true, I had such a good time, the host is so nice, & he's never done anything like that to me." yet something bad still happened to a small handful of people and it needs to stop happening.

so, why would someone not speak up if they *did* have a bad experience? here's a few reasons:

they want to move on to other things in their life

they want to avoid getting involved in drama or making a stir even if they had a bad time

they could be afraid speaking up will make it look like they are "taking a side" on something that will cause friction and/or rejection from their peers or friends they don't want to lose

they could be afraid it'll affect their reputation as a worker, or burn bridges with their connections

they could be afraid of the response they'll get from the public (such as being blamed, ignored, invalidated, harassed, etc.)

they signed an NDA and/or are afraid of breaching a contract

should someone accept a low-paying job just for the "good opportunity" alone?

that is completely up to an individual's choice and varies greatly.

personally, i don't believe you should ever *tell* someone to go for something beyond the shadow of a doubt *just* for the opportunity alone, not unless you've taken into consideration the facts of the opportunity *and* the facts of an individual's availability/skills/life situation as well.

sure, "work at Disney" sounds like it's a good opportunity that anyone should take no matter what.

but, if Disney's paying pennies for the opportunity, and an individual isn't ready, doesn't have support, doesn't feel confident about the job or their ability to commit to it, then it isn't a good opportunity for them. you could uproot your entire life for a "good opportunity" only to discover you weren't cut out for it or it didn't lead anywhere. at the end of the day jumping for an opportunity is always a gamble even if it's a gamble that is tilted in your favor.

of course, i also believe sometimes you have to take a risk, sometimes mistakes happen, and you can still learn a lot from "failed opportunities." if it doesn't work out it isn't the end of the world bc you learned more about yourself/the job in the process and you can still pick your life back up. i just don't believe in making uninformed gambles just for the sake of a vague "opportunity," i believe you should consider all the available information before taking a leap.

whether or not something is a "good opportunity" depends on if it's worth it to you and/or you feel confident enough in your availability and skills to do the job even if it isn't going to pay much.

closing remarks

i think that's about all i can say on it, i know it was a lot of information (it's hard to simplify) so thank you truly if you read it all and i hope it was helpful and informative.

the topic of fair pay in animation is an on-going conversation with a lot of opinions and a lot of factors to consider, especially with the rise of interest in indie animation. everyone, including myself, should stay open to this conversation and avoid drawing hard lines in the sand of what is or isn't "fair" unless there is an obvious problem.

personally, due to the claims we've seen over time, i do feel there may be a problem at SH that needs to be reviewed in order for them to be a healthier and ultimately more productive/efficient studio.

i also think it'd be great if indie productions in general could pay more, but the reality is it just isn't there yet, and some animators are willing to deal with it for the sake of their passion or bc they really need the work no matter what.

if you have any questions or confusion about anything i talked about in this post, feel free to shoot me an ask.

ty again for reading.

[themattress]

The Top 5 Carmen Sandiego Adaptations

And by adaptations, I strictly mean mediums in which you as a player serve no function, you are only here to observe. Therefore not the computer games, nor the board games, nor the choose-your-own-adventure style books. Just the shows, chapter books, and comic books.

Honorable(?) Mention: The DC Comics Series.

This only lasted four issues before being cancelled, and honestly? I can see why. I like the idea behind this series, which is compositing the various versions of Carmen Sandiego into one (the older games, the newer games, the PBS gameshow...had it continued we may have gotten stuff from the syndicated animated series.) The problem is that there is way too much going on in almost every panel. It's the equivalent of an obnoxious children's show that thinks constant movement and loud noises is the only way to keep its young viewer's attention. Beyond that, the main character Evan and his sidekick Bazooka Mel aren't that interesting or likeable, and Carmen herself barely shows up or does anything. It was a nice try, but it failed.

5: Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego?

This PBS gameshow was the successor to Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego, lasting for two seasons and a total of 115 episodes across 1996 and 1997. For comparisons sake, its predecessor lasted for five seasons across five years, with a total of 295 episodes. And that kind of says it all. I like things about this show - having people play historical figures and interact with the contestants is fun, the villains, also depicted by real-life actors, are a good balance of wacky and intimidating especially with the creepy effects around them and their willingness to attack the contestants directly, and much like its predecessor the final solo challenge is always exciting to watch. The problem is that it just doesn't feel like Carmen Sandiego. ACME is suddenly this hard sci-fi oriented group feeling more like the Federation from Star Trek than a detective agency, Carmen is a cackling supervillain out to make people miserable rather than a classy master thief, and while Lynne Thigpin's Chief is as delightful as ever, she and Kevin Shinick just lack the chemistry she had with Greg Lee....heck, Shinick himself is a major step down from Lee in just about every way. I think he was funnier in the Robot Chicken sketch about the show than he ever was on the show itself! I feel as though if this show was its own thing, totally removed from Carmen Sandiego, it would work better.

4: Carmen Sandiego

The recent Netflix series has a wonderful two-part pilot, "Becoming Carmen Sandiego", that shows exactly how this incarnation is going to differ from previous ones - namely with Carmen being an anti-hero going against V.I.L.E with the help of "Player" rather than the leader of V.I.L.E who "Player" is trying to catch - and with a lot of interesting possibilities on the horizon, particularly with its somewhat darker tone and reinventions of characters from several separate past continuities. And it's all downhill from there! OK, that's a bit harsh, but as I've noted recently the show really did squander its potential more and more with each passing season, culminating in a finale that made it crushingly clear that the developers did just seek to keep Carmen an anti-hero the whole way rather than go through the villain origin story that was logically being set up. It never felt like it truly knew what it wanted to be, and almost every character and plotline ended up suffering as a result. It's got great visual style and superb voice-acting, and I appreciate the attention it brought back to the otherwise dead property, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone as a first experience with Carmen Sandiego.

3: The Carmen Sandiego Mysteries

This series of juvenile chapter books had a total of six installments: two representing World, two representing USA, and two representing Time. And it's a shame that's all we got, because these were pretty damn good! Maya and Ben are likable leads, Carmen is a competent and even somewhat threatening villain while still maintaining her own personal code of ethics, and it does what a good adaptation should in keeping the feel and style of the computer games while also making allowances for the medium shift. I especially like "Take the Mummy and Run", which includes some legit emotional drama and a non-Carmen villain.

2: Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?

Pretty similar to the Carmen Sandiego Mysteries books in that it features a young boy/girl duo of detectives hunting down a similarly characterized Carmen. But this being a syndicated animated TV show rather than a book series, it lasted longer - 40 episodes total, and even got its own spinoff computer game Carmen Sandiego: Junior Detective Edition. There's also more of an action-y feel to it despite the network censors preventing anything overtly violent from happening, siblings Zack and Ivy are even more charismatic protagonists than Ben and Maya, and the great Rita Moreno just is Carmen; her alluring voice probably sticks out in most people's memory when thinking about the character. I do question why an AI Chief was used rather than a human one, as that just feels weird, but thanks to Rodger Bumpass' voicework he gets a lot of laughs so I can let it slide. The one thing that drags this show down is the educational aspect, as it manifests in a lot of ham-fisted monologuing from characters that grinds the pacing of each episode to a halt every time. Guys, you're in a 22-minute TV episode, not Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors! You're kind of pressed for time here! It's the one thing I think the Netflix show actually did better, as while there were still lines here and there serving as educational the series usually focused on showing rather than telling as should be expected of the animation medium. However...this theme song goes way harder than it needs to, so maybe that balances things out. And speaking of stellar theme songs....

1: Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?

This legendary PBS gameshow simply IS Carmen Sandiego distilled into a compact form easily transmitted via airwaves. It's got the thrill of the chase while learning more about the world down perfectly, it's got the old-school detective vibe and the quirky humor, and it's got a stellar cast of characters - not only is this the first time Carmen herself displayed any real personality, but we've got a truly memorable Rogues Gallery of V.I.L.E operatives serving her. And even if the different kid contestants opposing them each episode do nothing for you, we still have Lynne Thigpen as THE Chief of ACME, Greg Lee as one of the funniest and most energetic gameshow hosts you could ask for, and of course - ROCKAPELLA! It's easy to see why this show endured for as long as it did and while it's still fondly looked upon even now.