#i mean i still do but not in a self victimizing way? more like im flawed and i need to be humble and i need to learn more

[pumpkinnning]

this really does not feel like the kind of statement to throw out there without any sense of context or place. there's definitely sth to be said about how women are taught to live in a constant state of preyhood by overwhelming societal messaging - and yeah it's also people's responsibility to see past that but "self victimization" feels kind of umm. a shitty way to describe it. are you gonna tell minorities who have internalized shitty cliches about themselves they're self victimizing ?

also yeah there are A LOT of places on earth where these kinds of fears are at least a little warranted. personally i grew up in a place where i was sexually harassed very regularly by grown men in the street starting age 10. and not just the whistling and creepy petnames, im talking graphic descriptions. a random guy once told me he was going to put out his cigarette in my eye bc i didn't smile back. when i started going on there was a notorious rapist operating in the same area as the popular clubs. one of my friends got her life completely ruined by a stalker and nobody did anything when he would just hang out in front of her door with a baseball bat for hours every other day. etc etc i could go on for a long time. and yeah sure i didn't actually get physically harmed but that kind of psychological violence takes a toll. and i tried not to let it make me too afraid i still pushed myself to go out and walk in the woods at night and go out alone. but that didn't mean i then turned around and called my friends weak and crazy for being scared. i am older now less vulnerable and i moved to another country and it barely happens anymore and i feel so much freer and safer and that still does not mean im gonna go call women who do experience this shit crazy online

again. absolutely we have to look at the way female victimhood is constructed in a way that plays into racism, classism, transphobia, etc. this kind of post however, which i have been seeing more and more of, does not sound like that. it sounds like misogyny using woke terms, and victim blaming, and "haha if it hasn't happened to me it can't be true and everyone else must be making it up" and "why don't [marginalized group] simply stop whining about their oppression and suck it up and pretend its not happening and everything will be fine. if you're impacted by it it's actually your own fault" and just very very privileged.

i'm sorry the self-victimization of some women i see online is crazyyyyy, they're saying shit like "yeah being a woman is so crazy, if you go on a date you have to text his full name and picture to your friend, and also where you're meeting, and share your location throughout the date, and check in hourly" girl the only safety measure you need is meeting in a populated place. that man is NOT going to kidnap you from Popular Cafe on Well-Frequented Street in broad daylight at 2pm. i promise. do you go forest hiking as a first date or what the fuck.

[todayisafridaynight]

hi its "almost died as an infant" aoki stan anon again. im still thinkin about what to say medical wise BUT U GUYS HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD ABT HIS DEATH like im already frustrated with the "redemption by honorable death" thing that the game keeps doing (east asia has such high suicide rates i dont think its a very responsible narrative to continue telling in general tbh) but especially for a disabled character who had every right to feel vulnerable and betrayed and get a little evil. hes not Right but hes very Understandable and relatable. but then he still chose to live on and face the consequences (ARGUABLY HARDER AND MORE RESPONSIBLE. A GOOD EXAMPLE AND EXPECTATION TO SET especially for a POLITICIAN) and then they kill him anyway with some fuckin BULLSHIT EXCUSE and i feel like its partially because nobody can be bothered to put the effort into continuing a compelling and morally grey disabled narrative and it. hurts to be cast aside like that. especially after they made such a big deal about ichiban being a NEW protagonist/saga with a NEW identity and then. you still just gave me nishiki 2.0. you retold me the exact same story and used a blatant asspull to FORCE it to be the same story and give ichiban a dead brother figure to lament over for the next 5 games???? rgg i thought you wanted him to be different from kiryu???? sigh. it better be a fakeout and he resurfaces perfectly fine in a few games like kashiwagi or else i'm going to start scaling the walls of the rgg office and dismantling it piece by piece

hey howdy. can we call you MAS (medical aoki stan) ima call you mas cause i'd like to hear *mas from you haha gottem

BUT YEAH NO YOU'RE RIGHT. like i joke that ichi and aoki were kiryu and nishiki 2.0 but at least with nishiki, his death was like. .2% more valid while aoki's it's like..... rage. anger. death. i hate it here. this was so fucking stupid there was literally no need for this other than to fill a quota and try to make a "ichi really is the heir to kiryu's legacy" statement. LIKE ICHI IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE NEW FACE, GIVE HIM SOMETHING DIFFERENT- LET HIM KEEP HIS BROTHER SO THEY CAN PURSUE THE FUTURE TOGETHER THIS TIME

it's especially more upsetting regarding aoki as "being cast aside" because we can discern that was a huge thing for him and was a big reason why he turned out the way he did- being seen as useless or something that could easily be disposed off, so for the narrative to do just that right at the very end when it looked as though it was promising him a better future is just so...... rgg you're always so close but not close enough im going to strangle you

[snekdood]

worst thing is when a white person who 'grew up poor' and maybe lived in the city temporarily starts to insinuate they're from the hood or whatever shit lmao

[nyxakhlys]

maybe im petty. and vindictive. and are unable to ever let things go. but I'll never forgive my friends for turning a blind eye and attending the wedding of the person who hurt me deeply

[pathologicalreid]

could you do a third part to buried alive where the reader finally gets a bit better and goes out into the field for the first time and then the team goes and gets drinks after bc they are so proud of her :) -🌱

back again | S.R.

part one | part two

in which you go back into the field (and kick ass)

who? spencer reid x fem!BAU!reader

category? angst and then fluff

content warnings: established relationship. PTSD undertones. guns and physical fighting. reader is paired with morgan and kicks ass. usual cm case stuff. going to a bar and alcohol consumption. use of 'ass'. reader is referred to as a girl.

word count: 1.8k

a/n: hey anon i love you!!! i never expected people to like this story so much, but im so grateful i hope you enjoy!! thanks for reading <3 don't forget to like and reblog <3333333333

It felt good. Standing outside of a suspect's house with Morgan felt normal to you, having your firearm holstered, felt right.

He was trying to get ahold of the team, but the two of you were far from the town and, apparently, cell service. “The call keeps dropping, but they know where we are. They should be on their way,” he told you, getting out of the car. “If you’re uncomfortable going in, you don’t have to.”

You rolled your eyes and got out of the SUV. “I’ve got your back,” you responded self-assuredly. It was your first case back in the field, and besides, you weren’t about to let Derek walk into the lion's den alone.

Despite your attempt at confidence, you hadn’t planned on going to a suspect's house. The two of you had been on your way back from talking to a victim’s family, meaning you didn’t have vests. “I know you do,” Morgan confirmed, removing his sunglasses and snapping the temples down. “Go around back, I’ll take the front,” he said.

Nodding, you unholstered your weapon and kept it pointed toward the ground, you took a deep breath before wrapping around the white farmhouse.

Paranoid thoughts pelted your brain. Did you remember to shut off your phone’s ringer? What if the suspect had a gun? What if the information you were given was wrong and you didn’t have probable cause?

You shook your head, peeking in through the open blinds, you saw the kitchen. The town you were in was on the smaller side, and the only thing that surrounded you was farmland. You saw movement out of the corner of your eye and wished you had been given more time to prepare, having comms right now would be remarkably helpful.

Approaching the back door, you leaned against the siding before reaching over and turning the doorknob. It was already unlocked, which could either be a good thing or a bad thing. You swung the door open and stepped inside the house, pointing your Glock around the kitchen, you saw Morgan entering the living room in your peripheral vision. “Clear!” You called out, and shortly after, Morgan called the same.

Once you had cleared the main floor, Morgan moved upstairs and you moved downstairs, pulling your flashlight from your belt, you pointed it down the steps.

“Jackson Fike this is the FBI,” you called, making yourself known. You reached the bottom of the stairs, just to see another door, wide open. “Damn it,” you cursed, “Morgan, he’s running!” You shouted, hoping your voice would be able to carry up two flights of stairs.

You pocketed your flashlight and took off running out the door. Distantly, you saw a man fitting the suspect's description sprinting towards the woods. Without a second thought, you followed, expecting Derek to be not far behind you.

Thankfully, it was still light outside, the scent of the damp earth filled your senses, but it didn’t overwhelm you. You wouldn’t let it.

You skidded to a halt in the forest, keeping your back to a tree so you could be attacked from behind, “Jackson Fike, you can’t keep running like this. You know as well as I do that the road ends here.” You spoke loudly, hoping he heard you from wherever he had disappeared into the woods.

His choices here boiled down to giving himself up or being on the run for the rest of his life. Based on the profile the team had put together, he would never be able to leave this town. Not by choice, at least.

The snap of a twig gave his location away, you twisted your body in the direction of the noise. Your ears perked up like a bloodhound. “Jackson, if you come with me and tell me where the girls are, maybe I could see about keeping you close to home. Close to your house, that’s what’s important, right?” You tried to negotiate with him. You didn’t know if he was armed, but you did know that suicide by cop wasn’t in his profile. It was also less paperwork if you cuffed him without a fight.

“You can’t make me that promise, agent,” he responded. His voice was gravelly despite only being in his late thirties. “Why would I negotiate with a fed when I could just kill one instead?” He asked.

His question sent a chill down your spine all the way down to where your handcuffs rested on your back. “You’re right,” you ceded, “You’d be worshipped in prison for killing a fed, but why take that chance?”

In a flash, the UnSub smacked your wrist, causing a misfire into the trees, and making your weapon hit the ground.

That was fine, your marksmanship was good enough to pass your qualifications, but hand-to-hand was where you really excelled. He charged at you, but you jumped out of the way.

Closer to the farmhouse you heard voices, but you didn’t let yourself get distracted. Instead, you used your one boxing lesson with JJ and kicked. The inside of your foot provided enough surface to daze your opponent, he stumbled around, and you made sure to keep both of your feet firmly planted to the ground.

He swung back, but you ducked just in time to feel the breeze of his swing against your face. In response, you swung back, hitting him across the face.

Jackson retaliated, using both hands to push you into a tree, crushing your shoulder but not doing anything to stop you from throwing another hit, striking him on the head, and causing him to fall to the ground. He groaned as you crouched down and pulled your cuffs out, fastening them around his wrists.

As you read him his rights, the local police and the rest of your team approached you. Emily looked at you warily, Spencer was searching for injuries, but Morgan was grinning. He was like a giddy little kid who had heard the ice cream truck turn on his street.

Handing off the UnSub to a local, you eyed Morgan suspiciously, “What are you smiling at?” You asked, rotating your shoulder in a failed attempt to make it feel better.

“You took that guy down,” Derek said, gesturing to where the police officer was now taking the UnSub.

Confused, you shrugged, “Yeah, and?”

He laughed again, “Oh, you are so back, pretty girl.”

A flight later, you were hunched over takedown paperwork, something you certainly hadn’t missed during your time away from the field. At the desk adjacent to yours, Spencer was flipping through a book, waiting for you so you could go home.

After initialing each page and signing the last one, you placed the papers into the confidential file. Going up the stairs to Hotch’s office, you knocked on the door, “Come in.”

You stepped into the office and reached over to hand him the file, “My takedown paperwork for Jackson Fike.”

He nodded, the stern look on his face fading as he looked at you, “You did impressive work today, Y/L/N. By taking the initiative to arrest Fike, you saved the three girls he had captive.”

Shrugging, you fiddled with his nameplate, “I just did what felt right.”

“Other agents would’ve shot him, and it would’ve been justified, but you didn’t,” Hotch said, raising his eyebrows. “It’s good to see you out in the field again,” he told you in that fatherly, parental tone of his.

You looked out the window of his office, “It’s good to be back out, sir.” Watching as the rest of the team gathered back into the bullpen, “I thought everyone had already left?”

Hotch set your file down and stood from his desk, “I believe they were all waiting for you in Garcia’s office.”

Confused, you walked outside of the office and down the steps, “Hey?” You said cautiously, looking around at everyone, “What’s going on?” You looked at Spencer, but he just shrugged like he didn’t know any more than you did.

“We,” Derek said, “are going to O’Keefe’s,” he said, grinning as you reached over your desk to grab your bag and your coat.

Shoving your arms through the sleeves of your coat, you looked at the team curiously, “I’m getting the sense that I don’t have much of a choice in this outing.”

Grinning, Penelope excitedly walked towards you, looping her arm through yours and leading you out of the bullpen, “you don’t!”

You laughed, looking back at Spencer, who was just smiling at you. It wasn’t in your nature to turn down what Emily called ‘team bonding’, so the lot of you went to the familiar bar, a place you hadn’t been in nearly four months.

At the same table as always, standing room only with the eight of you, Rossi paid for all of your preferred drinks. Something you had learned to not protest over the years, as long as he was there, he’d never let you pay for your drinks.

Casually, Spencer had his arm around your waist, the two of you were more affectionate outside of the office. “How’s your shoulder?” He asked, gently skimming the pad of his thumb over the sensitive skin. Naturally, Spencer didn’t say anything in front of the team when you mentioned being shoved into a tree, but behind closed doors, he had asked to take a look at it.

You hummed in response, leaning into his touch, “Better, just bruised a bit.”

He dropped his hand back down to your waist, “good,” he whispered, ducking his head, and pressing a kiss to your cheek, causing you to smile.

Grabbing your attention, Derek cleared his throat and raised his glass in your general direction. “Tonight is about you, pretty girl,” he said, causing everyone else to turn to you. Your cheeks burned, “not only did you kick some UnSub ass, but you threw yourself back into the field after months on the sidelines.”

At your side, Spencer squeezed your hip, you were grinning like a fool.

“It has been an honor to be able to watch you reclaim yourself. I, for one, am proud of that accomplishment,” Morgan continued. “I hope you’re proud of yourself, too.”

You nodded enthusiastically, “Thank you. All of you, really.” You reached forward where everyone was clinking their glasses before taking a sip. Setting your glass down, you turned and looked at Spencer, “I love you,” you whispered to him.

He dropped a kiss to your lips, earning a whoop from Garcia. When he pulled away, he smiled at you softly, “I love you too.”

[yanmuffins]

Hey there

Im actually gonna talk about your other series

I'm super curious for the yandere Batfam dynamic was they find our reader is a vampire, I kinda like the idea of reversing the typical vampire creepiness and instead of us, is the Batfam that really enjoy feeling the reader drinking their blood and each one figure out a way to convince reader.

For example let's say Cassandra manages to figure out which days your instincts are at the strongest so those days she always makes sure it's her turn to stay in the manor to keep guard and make sure you don't escape while the others are doing vigilante stuff

context.

oooooh vampire! reader ask!!! mild spoilers for future fic, gotham by night.

i'm honestly so excited to see where this story will go. this reader will not only have to deal with batfam issues, but also being introduced to a completely new world of vampires and deal with sire issues on top of daddy issues. she's having a great time (not)!

but tbh, i don't think reader would drink the batfam's blood. she would find the idea of feeding on her family extremely gross, and unnecessary, since there's other methods out there. it could be a last-resort thing, if she was starving and close to frenzy, but even then that would be something she would hate to do, as there is a risk of killing them accidentally.

and one of the main conflicts in this fic is yandere! platonic! batfam just not understanding (obviously, since they've never been exposed to it) the richness and intricacies of vampire culture, practices and social dynamics, leading to them to mishandle reader and her new condition as a vampire pretty badly. not only that, but batfam essentially kidnapping reader from her sire (who had also kidanpped her btw) messes up her self-discovery process as a vampire. oh, and a possible masquerade breach! disastrous.

but i can see the batfamily starving reader on purpose, to get her to drink their blood, saying it's safer for her to get used to drinking from her family so she doesn't feel tempted to attack innocent civilians. and she's yelling that that's not how any of this works, but they won't listen. yup, that's diabolical.

you see, this concept pretty much follows v*mpire t*e m*squ*rad* mechanics. and according to established lore, we have a variety of predator types: one of them being bagger, referring to vampires who prefer to consume blood through blood bags instead of live human bodies. this would be convenient for both reader and batfam, but mostly batfam since they could just arrange reader an endless supply of blood bags with ease.

we also have consensualists, who do not feed against their victim's free will (the lines of consent and free will might still be murky, lest they straight up admit they're a vampire looking for blood and won't you please spare some) and sirens, who seduce their victims! i'm not entirely sure which predator type vampire! reader will be, but i'm leaning heavily towards bagger, meaning she doesn't have a preference for biting necks. but who knows?

to be fair, it's a big adjusment for batfam. you were being weird before you got kidnapped (and embraced), and it takes a while and reader almost going into frenzy (aka vampiric reaction to situations of extreme stress, like starvation) for them to find out, holy shit, she's a fucking vampire now! that's what happened! and they can't just... let you go. the situation is complicated. the person who turned you is still out there, and you're unpredictable, and this wouldn't have happened if they just paid more attention to you! so let them keep you safe (captive) and provided for.

ALTERNATIVELY, deviating a bit from the original concept where reader is taken by her sire and then taken by the batfam straight back into captivity, we could have reader being so neglected and ignored in the family that they just don't notice she's been turned, and she gets time to go through a complete change in personality and confidence, and involve herself with the social and political webs of vampire society that wants to establish itself in gotham. it's not drastically different direction for this concept to go, because either way reader will be thrown in the world of darkness (ha), except here the kidnapping happens after she comes contact into it and in the paragraph above it happens before.

reader escapes them either way, cause she's a vampire ofc, and the batfam didn't have enough time and info to prepare and keep reader sufficiently trapped. they'll keep an eye on her, though.

either way, there's room for yandere madness, dark content, neglectful batfamily drama, sociopolitical vampire drama, vampire! reader being cunty, and all that in both ideas, which aren't that different, really.. i'm not sure! sorry for rambling. it's still a work in progress but i'm very excited for it.

[storgicdealer]

ok gang. its theory time

the analysis of the new mercenary scene. meta, blueprints and time

warning it is incredibly choppy because of the chaos i am in rn !!!!!! but anyways

okay so. the video cuts off at green&red defending themselves but i doubt that really means a lot

the glitching. it IS reminding me of the way chosens memories were scanned through. but mercs having a whole tv remote?? chosens memories mightve as well pushed them to use youtube ?? but why didnt they access it earlier ?? why vic didnt???

bc of these question im more willing to think they themselves decided to use youtube right now. maybe only right now !

this raises a ton of questions. does outernet have somewhat of an access to internet after all? is it just their own tech? (could be supported by the fact that if youtube was common there i doubt theyd be using specifically television for it. i feel like theyd use other screens instead without a need of a remote especially considering how advanced their tech is)

still possible that it is common. considering they aren't that focused on it and there are random workers in the bg literally enjoying the show

this whole thing is VERY meta lol but i do think the mercs are the ones that influenced the stream in this way

A BIG portion of alan drawing a flower from ava season 2 is paid attention to in the glitching scene for some reason ?? maybe as a note for his and secs alliance.

the video then cuts off and goes to victim again. the whole video was watched through

the stream cuts off to mercs. **RIGHT** at the moment chosen notices the freedom stick rights article. based on the vid it could be just primal messing with shit but i feel it was intentional. (ha. freedom? loser. we're here instead)

later. the video resumes at victim again. i didnt see any changes to vics or chosens ending.

okay. the mercs. pulling up screenshots for this one

i. cant decipher THAT much even though the quality is 1080p for me.

but i DO see that the first blueprint has as i suppose the hover ??

the text pinpoints "power core" and its pretty much the most readable thing for me. another one is kyokaz was here its just a cameo

the blueprint shows buttons? perhaps the controller of the hover? going to a circle thingy. perhaps what is working inside the hover

the whole thing on the left corner says f___ complex but i cant decipher

second screenshot. the blueprint left to the first one looks like a pc?? and its not surprising even in the screenshot itself bc. the mercs have one to the right corner behind em

now. third sc.

HELLO?

firstly. A VIC DRAWING????? WITH A GUN????

there is a possibility of it being any stick but. i feel its victim. in my guts

shooting?? what. for.

it is scribbled out . . .

there is a possibility (along with the self portrait of vics in the unused bg) that it was just. him doodling. it would kill me actually because he is no great artist like sec. just a doodler (<words of flareboi here)

now. this

again . the question how they accesed it.

if they can get youtube to open there. how did vic not know of the showdown. of sec

showdown was uploaded online. that was literally in canon !!!

unless there's a rule that not everything internet-like and youtube like can be accessible. but i dont really think of any implications that proved that

except. for the fact that showdown was already uploaded. before the ep even ended. would it imply time passing differently in both realms?

lord i needed to scream it out.

OH GOD !!!!!!!!!!!

[hotchtits]

go on bby. talk about hotch. as much as you want ill read it all

*kisses you on the mouth sloppy style*

How I feel about this character

AAARGSHHSIDK AA AAAJDJEJ AHHHDJSJSJ

uh i mean he’s cool i guess.

no all jokes aside there are very few characters that are doing it like him.

he’s the leader of one of the most elite teams in the FBI. he’s a wet cat. he’s the epitome of traditional heterosexuality. he’s a boy kisser. he’s cold and distant. he loves his team more than anything in the world. he’s the next best profiler after gideon. he’s a massive idiot and a dork who collects coins. he’s got the skill level of a sniper/marksman. he does most of his team's paperwork so they can focus in the field. he’s no nonsense and straight laced. he seriously considered using web shooters at the FBI. he frequently catches an attitude with his boss, bigoted cops, and generally people in higher positions of power than him (and they just kind of take it). he has enough connections to get the italian government to revoke diplomatic immunity of a vatican priest. he's on a first name basis with the attorney general. he's kind of (at first) an absent father. he's a single mother of 6. he killed a man with his bare hands. he's so unbelievably gentle. he’s a white guy in a basic ass suit. he serves unprecedented levels of cunt.

what i keep coming back to is how much he cares. he cares about victims, he cares about unsubs (the ones that had justifiable reasons for being the way they are), more than anything he cares about his team.

the lengths he goes to to protect them or even just let them know he's there for them. he doesn't raise his voice, even when he's furious and when they lash out at him, he just absorbs it. aaaaaaugh. even roy, who hates his guts, he still cares about and still tries to make nice with for the sake of his son still having a grandparent in his life.

long story short i love aaron hotchner for all of his fucked up ways, big wet eyes, and self sacrificing demeanor.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

am i insane for saying the whole team? poly bau has a special place in my heart. i think he should get to have several boyfriends and several girlfriends. and his boyfriends are boyfriends and his girlfriends are girlfriends and they're all just happy.

hotch x happiness thats actually my favorite ship.

i mainly go for hotchgan, though, they make me want to rip my hair out. their push and pull, their similarities, hotch's head vs morgan's heart. kill me please.

i feel like him and rossi couldve also had a thing back in the preshow days. they give The Subway by chappell roan when he comes back in season three there is nothing casual about them.

hotchley before the divorce was so sweet :( i have such mixed feelings though because i can see how both of them would be frustrated with the other.

john blackwolf gets to be here as a treat because i think they would be absolutely destroy a buddy cop comedy thats actually a slowburn enemies to lovers. im aware this is just the plot of The Tribe.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

jessica brooks. im being so serious she stepped up in a way that very few others did. her offering to look after jack after hailey dies, staying with him when hotch gets called away, defending him against roy. also their banter is wonderful they r sooo siblings to me.

him and garcia are a very close second. obviously her and morgan are It but we gotta start putting some respect on him and garcia because

“i know you see the best in people, and i’d never want you to change that”

and the way she stayed with him when he collapsed in s9 aaarggh.

also hotchniss but as a wlw/bisexual friendship. they both agree that hotch has awful taste in men and that emily is a useless lesbian.

My unpopular opinion about this character

i mentioned this in someone else’s ask about unpopular HCs but i dont think he’s this #daddydom character in bed that people write him as. (disclaimer, headcanons are headcanons and im not bashing them, this is just what i think)

i can see him being dominant in bed (tho im a sub!hotch truther) but i dont think he’d go in for sadism or degrading or anything like that. given his childhood abuse, i cant imagine he’d enjoy hitting his partner or making them cry (even if it is consensual). in the show, he's very overtly gentle, especially with the people he loves.

i also dont think he’d enjoy a big age gap relationship with a subordinate either (i also see this being floated around). my man is a stickler for the rules and if theres a fraternization policy, i doubt he’d break it. im aware i sound like a massive hypocrite bc i ship him w the team but im mainly talking about x reader pairings here.

i was actually gonna put a different headcanon here but i saw a stepdad!hotch x reader fic and i,,, just,,, no. again write whatever you want but he Would Not Fucking Do That lmao.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

PISSED BEYOND BELIEF WE NEVER GOT AN “AARON” EPISODE

i guess 100 was kind of in the same vein but Reid got both “Revelations” and “Spencer” so i think we deserved an “Aaron”

for the love of god expand on his backstory. he was sent off to boarding school, he was a lawyer, a federal prosecutor, he was on SWAT, he's an accomplished sniper, he was with the BAU for something like 8 years before the show started i think. where is he finding the time for this?

[cconfusedkat]

Spooky month means spooky ideas and spooky ideas ??? Lead to AU's!! >:-D i was dwelling on it for a few months and wasn't really sure on how i wanted to create this up?? But nonetheless i managed :-]

"Vampyres of the Old Faith" is an AU centered around the sudden uprise of vampyr (which are the Bishops in this case) and the vampyre hunters intend to stop this revolt before it gets any worse !! This takes place in the eaaaarly 2000's ,,, so it's a modern au ,,, and is a little funny to consider that the vampyr are Old as hell and arent adapted well enough to modern society 😭😭

YIPPEE Now that i got that down here are the four main vampyres :-3c there is a Green Coven, Golden Coven, Blue Coven, and Purple Coven. Each vampyre is able to shapeshift into smaller forms—like how a vampyre can change into a bat—these four can turn into different animals !! Theyve all been alive for different amounts of time, yet 300 years ago they all managed to find eachother and create a pact of vampyr covens!!

Leshy is Def known as the cruelest and invasive one,, he does happen to be the only one to mess with the shaping and mirroring of reality,,,, which honestly is concerning the most 😭 throughout history people have claimed they've seen "a big tree creature walking and taking people's skin" ,,,, So the eldritch rumors are NOT very helpful for him-

Originally i wanted to give heket a hellhound form but i actually liked the snake form better :-] !! Deciding her outfit was a little complicated but ,,, i think it turned out well ? Hekets known for being the most angry and cold vampyre. Despite , yknow, using fire magick . HELP

Kallamar o kallamar !!! She is a siren and she stays only in the water :-) if her siblings needs to speak to her then they make sure to have a water circle in the middle of their meeting room so they can all talk with her there,,, kallamar is known for her manipulative tactics and ways of persuasion which help her catch and convert people into vampyrism

Lastly is our main coven leader Everyone knows that built up the ideas for a vampyre uprising would be none other thann Shamura 👍👍👍 known for their sadistic self and invincibility , using wind magick to get away with a variety of things in a literal snap of a finger ,,, because of being a vampyre longer than all of them they're uniquely the one with sensitivity to blood?? They can still take blood but they dont drink it as often as the other three do (minus the way leshy does it because he literally latches himself onto a victim's shoulder with his mouth ,,,, )

With all the vampyres in mind who are our hunters ???

Well here's the first three bigshots of the company >:-D Sozonius has been hunting and obtaining information about vampyr for years, narinder is fairly new to vampyr bounty hunting yet still exceeded the expectation of a regular bounty hunter (surprisingly the strongest 23 year old), and lamb only recently started researching the vampyr after they lost their mother to vampyrism,, they are mainly known for being a detective and trying to help people out with finding their lost family members or attempting to help revert a vampyr they found back into a mortal !!!!

The company (which im,,,, Honestly not sure of a name about still 😭 i dont know what to call it) has been a benefit to society more than they realize. The unmentioned references happen to be Forneus and Monch. The head scientist is Monch, and Forneus IS the founder of the company to hunt down vampyres! Shes lost her family to vampyrism all the same, especially her two sons (aym & baal) which were kidnapped by Shamura too since theyve stalked narinder and knew he had a fondness over those two kittens just as much as forneus did.

There are more roles within this universe,, ive also been trying to think of how many characters I could add into this,, BUT YEAH !!!! Something really silly and self indulgent over the past few days of making finalized refs for them :-D

Ive been kinda plotting out another secret story for Narinder on how *he* was the one who caused this sudden uprising,, how the betrayal of leaving his siblings caused them to rage in revolution,, but that can be for another time 🕺

[thesophistiicate]

im not trying to act all high and mighty, im just genuinely confused by this... i truly dont understand girls who allow themselves to be put in degrading situations the same as the last anon? surely its glaringly obvious that man just wanted a body to use? i know i sound so mean but im genuinely actually confused whenever i hear or read girls talking about experiences like that i find it very hard to understand what would make them give the most undeserving men access to their bodies and souls like that... i can kind of understand if you sleep with a man for the first time and he treats you badly after but what i dont understand is going back again and again and expecting a different result. at that point maybe youre a little to blame as well? why would you even sleep with someone who youre not even in a relationship with? im just very lost i thought by now we all know better than to give just anyone our time. i see this even in my girl friends, theyre all so beautiful and intelligent yet they date terrible men that shouldnt even be allowed to breathe the same air as them and when they inevitably cheat or hurt them they genuinely get heartbroken and then they start to tell me about things the man has said to them and show me their text conversations and in my head im like "hes telling you right there in that message that he doesnt care about you..? what did you expect..?" sometimes it feels like girls get into situationships and relationships just to get themselves hurt on purpose because, and this is gonna sound so mean but i dont know how else to word this, but theres no way people can genuinely be this blind and stupid. i just find it so hard to feel sympathy for girls who numerously get shown and told theyre only being used for sex and still stick around for a different outcome. is that what love supposed to be? am i the one with the twisted understanding of love? am i missing something? i hope im not coming off as heartless or conceited, im genuinely confused i just dont know how to express or word it well

i'm happy to hold space for expressing thoughts imperfectly or even harshly, so long as we are willing to find understanding and not stay stuck in judgement 🤍 i would say the challenge for you here is learning to stay out of judgement (it is all right to acknowledge that's not how you would act, but attaching value statements and labels like 'stupid' don't help you be kind and don't help anyone else thrive either), and leaning into empathy (finding understanding when someone acts in a way you wouldn't, rather than judgement and frustration).

i say this as someone who used to be really judgemental, not to tell you off, but because it's so good for the soul to learn this growth. judgement and labels are easy, it's far more difficult to build the emotional intelligence to hold space for nuance and complexity, to extend compassion and nurture even when somebody is making imperfect decisions.

i think that you're someone with a really good level of self worth and self respect who cares about others too. that's so amazing! the best thing you can do is continue to hold your standards and lead by example. you aren't the one who has it wrong at all. healthy, respectful relationships aren't like this! keep your standards high, show your friends examples of high standards. as much as it will feel like they aren't listening, sometimes a simple, fairly neutrally toned: "wow, you deserve better" or "geez, i wouldn't put up with that" or "that's not normal" will linger and have more long-term impact than you realise.

i know it's easy to look in from the outside and say, can't you see it?! he just sucks!! or to look at the end of a crazy story and be like, girl, there was SO many red flags wtf!! (lol me at my past self!) but when you're in the middle of it, it's actually really hard. these people are master manipulators and they know how to keep their victims hooked. love bombing, mixed signals, disrespectful treatment to lower self worth... it's a wild ride inside the storm, you simply cannot see clearly because they are committed to obscuring the view.

at the core women get themselves into these situations because of low self worth. it's why i talk about it ALL THE TIME, it's SO CRUCIAL. when you don't value yourself, you put up with being disrespected. the more you are disrespected, the lower your self worth drops and the more bad treatment you accept. it's a toxic cycle. it's the exact same dynamics as in any abusive or domestic violence scenario (even if the relationships aren't abusive and he's just casually disrespectful - that is the beginning of abuse), and it's pretty well researched why women stay, how they get in those situations, why they find it difficult to leave, why the cycle keeps repeating with new partners. i'd highly recommend researching it if you want to understand it better. every woman should be educated on this topic.

you are right to some extent: if you want to get out of the cycle you do have to take responsibility for your own behaviour. you have to ask why you're accepting being treated that way. what led you there. why you are obsessing over their behaviours but not questioning your own.

but to confront all this is very difficult and painful and often related to trauma and neglect. yet another reason why so many can't escape the cycle, to face all of that can be more painful than putting up with a shitty guy who just wants sex without commitment... the crap treatment is easier to face, until it isn't.

it is a form of self-harm, a kind of self-destruction as a way a broken mind and spirit tries to cope with trauma. to end the relationship would be to limp out and finally confront how broken you are. when you stay in it you can stay delulu. it's a form of escape.

of course, to a healthy person it doesn't make sense. why would anyone ever willingly hurt themselves? and yet, it's a psychologically observable phenomenon and unfortunately the solution and path to healing is far more complex than just not doing that or getting into those situations. if only!!

but the way out DOES involve making a decision that you deserve better. which is why we need to keep talking about these things, bringing them to light, being compassionate, creating safe spaces for women in these relationships to talk about what they're experiencing without judgement, shame, being called stupid or asking for it etc 🤍

i could speak for a long time on this, but i'll leave it there for now... it's all right to not understand it. i actually think that's a good thing in a way, it means you're in a good place. but certainly if you really want to understand it, the research is there!

[pathetichimbos]

can you write about how thomas would react when reader is on their period? like how would he take care of them and everything

pampering them with gifts or pushing the family away especially hoyt because he doesnt want them near in fears youll break yk?? anyways, ty! i love ur writing

(male or female reader im not picky!)

Honestly... I don't think it would happen that way.

See, the thing is, the Hewitt family is extremely self sufficient, which means that everyone has to pull their own weight to keep the farm running smoothly. That includes when you're on your period. They've got that "if you can walk you can work" mentality. And they really mean it. Unless your cramps or pms are literally debilitating (i.e. you are literally bed ridden and cannot walk due to the pain), you're going to be expected to work. Cramping and bleeding or not, the hogs still need to be fed and the eggs need to be collected. None of that's going to change, and Luda Mae, Hoyt, and even Monty aren't going to excuse you lacking off just because you're on your period. (Again, unless it's literally debilitating).

And as for Thomas, I've said it before, I'll say it again, Thomas will not stand up to his family for anyone. He's not going to pick fights with them, or argue with them, or anything really. He's not a confrontational person. And, again, this is a small southern town in the 1970s, Thomas doesn't even know what the hell a period is. Luda Mae is very obviously a proud woman, and even to this day, a lot of older women won't talk about their periods because they see it as a private and shameful matter, so I doubt Thomas has any idea of what a period is, except for maybe having heard of it in passing.

So, when you tell him you're on your period, he's not going to understand what that really means. And after you explain it to him, he'll be sympathetic, sure, but... If most women have a period and continue to function in their normal everyday lives, why can't you? (Again: unless it's LITERALLY debilitating)

He'll be happy to help in whatever way he can, whether that be through getting you medicine in the mornings, or being your personal heating pad at night, but I don't think he'd really pamper you. After all, he still has his chores and work to do, which take up a large part of his day (depending how recently the last batch of victims came through, but even then, he has regular chores as well), and if you are bed ridden due to your period, he'll have to pick up your chores as well.

He's not mean, or mad about it, he loves and cares about you, and he's happy to do things for you when you need them, but he can't throw his responsibilities away just because you're on your period. I mean, think about it, periods last for one week out of every month, that is a HUGE amount of work lost now not only on your end, but his as well. That wouldn't fly over with any of the Hewitts. Especially Hoyt.

And on the topic of Hoyt, I mentioned this in my post about what it would actually be like to start dating Thomas, but Hoyt is like a father figure to Thomas. Thomas looks up to him, and respects him, and actively seeks his approval, he isn't going to force Hoyt to avoid you in his own house. If you're really that afraid of Hoyt hurting your feelings while you're on your period, you're going to have to avoid him on your own terms. But Hoyt isn't going to become more of an asshole just because you're on your period. Maybe a few misogynistic jokes or comments, sure, but Hoyt is always like that. That's just something you're going to have to live with to be with Thomas, because I don't think Thomas would ever move out his family home. Not unless something dramatic happened like I wrote about in one post a long, long time ago, where in the drabble Hoyt had left the stove on while watching Thomas' baby, which led to them being severely burned and scarred to the point that Thomas' s/o told him they were leaving and taking the children and he went with them because, again, Hoyt literally almost killed his baby and gave them severe and traumatic scarring. But even then, I don't think he'd move much farther than down the road. And that's only because of his child's safety and well being.

(And just a quick side note while I think about it: Thomas is also like a son to Hoyt, and I don't genuinely believe he'd ever attempt to put his hands on Thomas' s/o for the pure fact that he respects Thomas and wants to see him happy just like Luda Mae does. Do I think he'd make the occasional flirtatious or sexual remark? Yes. But it's a different culture and time, those things are considered a lot more normal than they are now, but Hoyt wouldn't attempt to touch Thomas' s/o.)

So, yea, I think that just about sums up what it would be like. Life would continue on as normal unless you were bed ridden, in which Thomas would pick up the chores you could no longer do.

Thanks for sending in the ask! <3

[ninyard]

kevin and jeremy for the headcanon game if you’re still doing it pls :)))

i did kevin already so here's my #2 babygirl jeremy,, i hate to call him a golden retriever but... if the shoe fits

realistic headcanon: he has adhd but can't be medicated because USC take drug testing seriously and his meds are banned by the NCAA and the ERC. he can take them when they're not in competition, but once the season starts, he has to come off them again. oh, he is Symptomatic. he has location tracker tag things on his keys, find my iphone is ALWAYS on, he's had more bank cards than years in his life, is a frequent victim of the ADHD tax on subscriptions he forgets to cancel. he always writes important things he has to remember on his hands and then washes his hands forgetting they're there. he forgets to pee if he's too focused on something. he has 100 abandoned hobbies (the yo-yo is his newest one). he talks too loud when hes excited. he has sensory issues. hes really smart but hates academics. talks to himself sometimes. (getting him mic'ed up during a game is a dream and a treat because of the things he says while talking to himself)

may not be realistic it is hilarious: he loves drugs on the off-season. he absolutely loves going clubbing and MDMA is his favourite. he'd also take half or a quarter of a pill just chilling with Laila and Cat and have a mini party just the three of them. he believes he is his best self when he is high on uppers. not a fan of coke because he doesn't feel like it does anything for him though, he doesn't smoke, but will take edibles. LOVES to paint/draw/make art when he's high. he's not quote unquote addicted, and is really good at pacing himself/saying no/knowing when to stop, but when he doesn't have to do drug tests for Exy? he's living his best life

heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends: listen. at this point we understand my opinions on jeremy's past but. the reason why he doesn't swear is because his family/brother(s) used to swear at him so much as a kid that he just genuinely hates it. he hates the way it sounds coming out of his mouth. he doesn't like it, he doesn't think it's attractive, he just thinks swearing is unnecessary and actively chooses not to swear. (that doesn't mean he doesn't, but it's so rare that he does - if you ever, ever, ever hear jeremy knox swearing, then he is PISSED. he is livid. he is im-going-to-kill-a-man levels of angry. if you hear him swearing? run.)

unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own: i feel like i haven't had enough time to live with jeremy knox to come up with incredibly niche canon disregarding hcs yet. probably kisses women when hes drunk. maybe he ties his shoes weird. needs glasses but refuses to get his eyes tested. doesn't have a gag reflex. actually hates the way he looks in red. i don't know!!!! ask me again once he's been living in my brain a little longer

[obsessivevoidkitten]

Ok first of all, let me address this. I wasn’t being disrespectful when I said “fucked up stories.” It was a theory.

Second of all, I don’t need your followers insulting me when I never insulted them.

Third of all, you’re still trying to justify that it’s okay to write about rape which is what I’m trying to point out, that’s not okay.

Fourth of all, Most of the people who are defending you are only doing it because they don’t realize how disgusting that is and could possibly fetishize these writings which is what I’m trying to say.

Fifthly, I don’t need you calling me an asshole when I never called you out of your name!! I’m trying to be respectful when you’re just insulting me with no valid respond.

Sixth, I don’t need your followers saying anything about me because of their opinion!! I’m not speaking to them I’m speaking to you.

Seventh, it was just a theory when I said you could be lying about being sexually assaulted, I’m not accusing you of it. But a lot of men and women fake such things so I did include that not to make you angry, but I pointed it out because it is very a common occurrence that happens.

Have a good day, and I don’t need anymore insults im asking for a response??

Maybe don't be an asshole and you won't get called one?

You made a public inbox submission so of course people can respond publicly. It's insane to think otherwise.

Espousing a theory that someone is faking sexual assault is abhorrent unless you have evidence that can prove it.

I just love that you are ignoring my response and pretending that I didn't give one. I gave you a very clear response. Anyone, regardless of whether or not they have been assaulted, can engage with reading or writing rape fantasy content. It doesn't hurt anyone! It doesnt cause people to become rapists or put themselves in a position to be rape. It isn't morally wrong. Get over it.

There was a larger and more recent study than the one in the article I linked to previously. It found, in regard to being forced into a sexual encounter:

61% of self-identified women had fantasized about this before, while 24% said they fantasized about it often.

54% of self-identified men had fantasized about this before, while 11.5% said they fantasized about it often.

68% of non-binary participants had fantasized about this before, while 31% said they fantasized about it often.

Persons with a history of sexual victimization were more likely to report forced sex fantasies. This finding was somewhat surprising to me because it is contradictory to previous research, which found no link between sexual history and forced sex fantasies. However, most studies finding no linkage were based on small college student samples, whereas my sample was larger and more diverse (age range of 18-87). Thus, sampling differences may partly explain the discrepancy. That said, it’s important to note that this association was small, which means that not everyone who has a history of sexual victimization has forced sex fantasies, and that not everyone with these fantasies has a history of victimization. That said, what I suspect is going on here is that forced sex fantasies may be a way that some people with a history of victimization try to take control of a previous experience over which they had no control because, in these fantasies, it is the fantasizer who is in control.

If you don't agree with the science then I guess I am sorry your feelings don't align with research.

[thetinypngs]

Coming here AGAIN

Thinspo blogs: DONT LIKE, DONT REBLOG, DONT FOLLOW ME

Rant under the cut

I also suffer from ED and seeing those kind of blogs specially when I have the mentality of a 0 TO 4 YEAR OLD Is REALLY TRIGGERING

Im angry! I’m so angry!

I expected the occasional nsfw bot or blogs

But seriously? I never expected to HAVE to make this post

It’s on my banner, I made it clear to see and read, I even put the alt text, and you still thought “yeah, I’m a child-safe blog” you are not!

I’m sorry you are a victim of this body-shaming, fatphobic, patriarcal society.

I totally understand that the way you consume/produce this kind of media is (you like it or not) self harm and how you can regress to actually cope instead of harming yourself

But it doesn’t give you the right to trigger me!

Im fat! I’m a fat girl! I weight around 70+ kilos! (Around 154+ lb)

My clothes are mostly (a Brazilian) L !

I used to be underweight, I used to barely eat because I was so depressed I didn’t have the energy to it!

And you want to know a secret? I was mocked for being underweight and mocked for being fat! People will always judge you, no matter what, and yes it does suck, but doesn’t mean you are ugly!

Beauty comes in many forms, it’s not just one single pattern

And you invading my safe space, my little silly photos blog, just HURTS

Be more kind to others, do better.

[mdhwrites]

Since you watched Hazbin hotel, you maybe have watched Helluva Boss too. I have a question, cause im curious.

Do you think that Stolas's marriage was retconned to victimize him?

So I'm going to swerve this at first to just talk about the fact that what they did with Stolas is nothing new, it's just essentially twin tropes smashing together at the same time. Both are ways people use family to humanize someone, and in a broader context two ways in general used to humanize someone. His daughter is essentially "Save the Cat" where by showing a gentler, warmer, more caring side of himself, we know there's nobility in him which can paint some of his better actions in a kinder light. Meanwhile, his wife shows the pressure and cruelty upon him, the way life crushes him, that makes his crueler actions seem perhaps more like coping mechanisms. It's like giving an alcoholic a tragic backstory so you understand that he doesn't drink himself to oblivion because it's fun for him and he doesn't care about the harm it does to others but because he needs it to survive and function at all, at least in his eyes.

Neither of these tropes are bad either. Done with less awful character traits, you get stuff like the silly person who covers their trauma by being over the top and maybe ignoring reality more than they should. I myself literally used saving a cat as a way to humanize my noble main character in Little Miss Rich Witch because while she was dismissive of others and seem annoyed at many people's actions, now she was willing to hurt herself by reaching into a bush of brambles and help a kitten find safety. It theoretically can help assure the reader that a better person is under there and going to emerge eventually.

...Which brings us back to Stolas. Now the first thing I have to mention is that you're actually incorrect. I have not watched Hazbin but I mention a lot of shows that I've seen enough analysis, discussion, etc. for and feel comfortable enough mentioning some broadstroke elements that resonate with what I'm discussing. I HAVE seen some of Helluva Boss but ended it on the episode where Blitzo and Moxxie get kidnapped so I'm not ignorant on these subjects but I didn't really see when life went to complete shit for Stolas...

And I do not give a fuck because neither of these tropes function when there is no better man to speak of. I mentioned Rich Witch not just as self promotion but because of a REALLY important element that fails with his daughter: Follow through. Azu, the noble girl, puts herself in danger of breaking the rules because her busy schedule means that in order to bring the kitten to a shelter, she first has to bring it to school the next day. Then we find out that while she's tsundere about the reasons for working there and doesn't think animals like her, she actually volunteers at that same shelter so this is hardly the first animal she's saved in some way. This makes what is essentially virtue signalling an actual part of the fucking character. Stolas on the other hand, in the SAME EPISODE that we introduced to Octavia, has seemingly neglected his daughter's interests and the fact that she's been growing up for roughly a decade. Hell, even then, he still hires his boytoy to guard them so he can focus on being horny than his daughter and on other childish pleasures that he enjoys. So... Yeah, he gets a really sweet song with her but it's hardly like that's some small nugget smoldering at the core of his character as that fire burned out long ago.

Which brings us to his wife. Hey, why does the alcoholic have a tragic backstory instead of saying, "I beat my wife because she's a bitch and that's why I drink"? It's because the latter doesn't feel like a justified response. At that point, you are a horrible human being with little care for others, you're just bitching and moaning so that you can justify your terrible behavior. This is what Stolas is doing to his wife. "You're a bitch so I openly, confidently, CONSTANTLY cheat on you with someone I do not actually act like I give a fuck about except for his dick because otherwise show him basic human decency." At that point, the only reason the show manages to frame Stolas' wife as worse than him is because she never gets a song with Octavia so it comes across like only one tried to be a good parent before things went to hell and... That's just narrative bias, not strict fact. Not from what I saw.

These tropes only work when there is a better man underneath it all. There is no better man to Stolas. It's akin to how Blitzo has this tragic backstory, life has clearly dealt him a terrible hand... And he's just a complete horrid monster when it comes to those around him. Moxxie despises him for what he does to his privacy, his boundaries and his own personal life and for what? Because Blitzo gets off on it? Luna is a trying too hard goth chick and she isn't actually that mean or cruel or the like. Not even the fucking succubi that act as an antagonist for an episode are as bad to their people as Blitzo is to his and that's without getting into how that episode's proper antagonist is actually Blitzo, both because of past actions and present.

There is at no point, besides shallow backstory (which as always, backstory does not actually a character make because their present actions matter WAY MORE), where we really have a reason to think there's good people in there anymore. That's also why I dropped the show. I wanted to continue but it clearly was going to focus on its worst characters rather than anyone with an ounce of likability. Or, better yet, anything actually compelling about them several episodes into the series besides "Uwu, look at my tragedy while I harass the people around me."

I'm sorry, that just makes you the asshole. See you next tale.

======+++++======

I had initially considering answering this privately since I don't know all the nuances about Blitzo's marriage... But also I watched 7 episodes (including the pilot), more than twice as many as most people tell you is a fair shake, and these were my impressions. At that point... Sorry, you have an uphill battle to prove your sexual harassment in story is somehow justified. The CONSTANT sexual harassment that is not just because they're in hell since Moxxie and Millie prove you don't have to be like this. It's still a choice.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[roadkillremi]

SEQUEL to - Please, Don't kill me, Mr.Ghostface

Randy Meeks x Fem!Reader

Masterlist Part 2 on Masterlist

Warnings : mentions Sex, language, mentions dying, mentions Killing, Reader has hallucinations (If I miss anything let me know)

I do NOT support killing

Summary : After the 1996 Woods borrow murders, will you move on? Attending college with some old friends and making new ones. Your past stalking you at times making everything difficult.

"Can you tell me what you were thinking when he was going to kill your friends?"

The clocked ticked loudly on the wall, you fidgeted picking your nails.

"Disgusted, trapped, with myself to be exact. If I didn't say anything I'd get hurt. If I did if get hurt. There's nothing I could do about it."

She nodded scrabbling on the notebook paper.

"And it's said you stabbed Billy Loomis 17 times. Is that correct?"

"I didn't count. I just... Did it. It was either that or die."

"I know."

"I don't wanna talk about Billy." You looked out the window not being able to face her.

"Let's talk about your visions then.".

You nodded still looking out the window with a soft gaze.

"I got a call from your Aunt. She said according to the teacher you started yelling in class. Cause you saw... Them.".

You nodded, "Yes."

"They're dead they can't hurt you."

"I know. But nightmares can't die."

She sighed, "You're suffering from PTSD, it's not strange to suffer after a traumatic event. Sydney, Randy, and Gale are doing fine. Sydneys getting through it maybe you can talk to her-"

"Sydney's rich and popular. She has the ability... To be loved easily."

"You don't know Sydney's life-"

"But I know mine!" You turned to her.

"Tell me about school."

"People look at me like I'm a zombie or something. I mean since someone died the exams aren't a big deal... People think I'm a killer... Ever since Gale... Did a short read of her upcoming book..."

"Self defense is not murder."

"Yes, I know! Still hurts. The only reason I got into college is because of being a victim. I don't even know what to major in."

"Don't you like movies? Major in directing."

"that's Randy's thing. I love movies, but I don't wanna make them."

"just come up with a list and think it through. How's your sleeping been?"

You looked down at your lap, "It's hard to sleep. I have bad dreams and wake up.".

"have you tried a-"

"Routine. Yes. Sometimes Randy spends the night."

She raised her eyebrow, "Not like that!".

"Mhm." She wrote something down.

"Do you think im a killer?" You looked at her deeply. She looked up at you and didn't speak for a moment.

"I think you're an angry child with a rough past seeking the love you didn't have."

"That wasn't my question."

"No, you're not a killer."

"You hesitated."

"This isn't about me. Its about you."

Silence filled the room back up again.

"I'm scared I'll kill again."

You folded your graphic tees into a box. Music played in the background as you packed up. The last week you've been packing for college. Surprisingly Sydney asked to be roommates, you said yes.

Your room was almost empty now, you sat on your bed.

"Finally running away from here?"

Billy appeared next to you, he leaned down to see your face.

"You're not real."

"I'm real to you."

You didn't look towards him, you closed your eyes trying to focus on breathing.

"You can't shut me out!" He yelled.

"Go away, Billy!" You yelled back. Your Aunt rushed in at the sound of you yelling.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah, just a nightmare." You stood up.

"Okay. Well Randy called, he's on his way. So get ready to pack up his car." She gave a pathetic smile and walked away. You sighed putting shoes on before taking boxes near the front door. Randy pulled up walking in the house, ever since the killing he seemed to peak. He had more muscle and wore shirts that showed it, he even grew out a small beard. He wasn't the only thing that change in the summer though.

People around you took note about how you seemed more free than usual. You got to dress in clothes without Billy saying you looked whorish. Not only that but you randy had sex, a lot. In his car, in your room, even at his work. There was of course close calls but nothing to serious. He got better at sex the more you two did it. Sometimes it was passionate and loving, others were more rough and animalistic.

"God, I'm not gonna have room for all this!" Randy exclaimed mentioning the boxes. You rolled your eyes, "It's everything, clothes, bedding, school supplies, all of it.".

Randy grabbed a box letting out a small huff. You patted his back, "you got this.".

"You better help that boy!" Your Aunt yelled out.

"Yeah!" Randy mocked smiling. You grabbed a box following him to the car. The trunk had all of Randy's bags stuffed into there. He placed the boxes in the back seat. You huffed back and forth between the car and the house.

"That's all of them!" You yelled out to Randy. He slammed the car door shut, "Thank God!" He cried over dramatically.

Your Aunt hugged you tightly sniffling, "Call when you can. Stay safe.".

"I will, I love you." You hugged her back tightly.

Months later

You banged on Randy's door, "Randy Meeks! Get your ass up!". He got drunk with his roommate, Paul last night. He called you slurring his words telling you how much he loves you. He opened the door, "Sorry, I was getting dress!".

"You look like shit." You laughed. His hair a bit messy and bags under his eyes.

"You look amazing too, darling" he said in a British accent.

You walked to class with him holding his hand. Some girls snickered at you as you passed them. Randy glanced at them, "What's their problem?".

"Don't worry about it. You know how some women are, don't grow out of the popularity in high school." You sighed.

"Pfft, yeah tell me about it." He said leaning close to your ear. His hot breath tickling the side of your face.

A frisbee passed by in front of you two, "Couldn't have caught it?! Dick.." some guy said running after it.

"See?" Randy gestured. You rolled your eyes, "Come on Mr.Meeks we have a film class to get to!".

"You know how I get when you call me that." He joked. You jokingly gave him a look, "You'll just have to rub it out in the bathroom.". He smiled hugging you from behind picking you up a bit.

"Or I could fuck you when Paul's gone"

You laughed tapping his arm to let you go. "Poor Paul needs a break from us pounding like dogs in there." You said walking into the building. Randy caught up with you, "Well this dogs ready to pounce.". He sprayed mouth spray in his mouth winking at you.