#i mean i only have 1 main idea to draw and i'm out of this fandom forever | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lynaferns · 7 months ago

Text

The Forest On The Other Side

Chapter 1: I want to go home.

Ver. [ENGLISH / SPANISH]

EDIT: This fic is now on AO3

A girl gets lost in the forest and finds a misterious gate in the middle of nowhere. At the other side she meets a... very peculiar individual who seems to only want to befriend her and play. Everything seems fine. Until night falls and someone else joins to play...

Again, I appreciate feedback about the english adaptation. English is not my first lenguage and I still mess up sometimes.

This is in some way a more "joyful" story than BIOMáquina, still with its dark themes. I wrote this a year ago. By this I mean I forced myself to get it written down and ended up hating it and burning myself out. A couple of weeks ago I decided to reread it and I though it was pretty ok actually, so I edited it a bit to make it flow better. It used to be written more as a script for the comic I wanted to draw buuuut that didn't happen (cough stressed myself out cough forced myself cough don't force yourself to make content out of a hobby, a hobby is supposed to be for your own fun). I'm not completely satisfied with the final draft but I think is good enough for my first ever fic written.

I originally planned to make it a Y/N thing but that didn't last long. But I keeped the original idea of the first person POV. The Y/N stories I've read has always some narrator telling you what you do insert you in the story. I thought of making the MC the narrator, this way the reader can insert themselves like it's their story or they can read it as if someone else is telling them a story. This is also a bit limiting, since the narration is also the MCs thought process and sometimes I may skip details MC couldn't have seen.

AU, Magical forest, DCA centered, Sun fnaf, Moon fnaf, Elves Sun & Moon, OC, Selfinsert, Character & OC, platonic, friendship, slowburn (kind of), Moon is agresive at first, Moon is also a bit of a gremlin, Protective Sun (I think), OC is a potty mouth, Female Main Character, First person, Angst.

The first post where I showed this AU and my first sketches ideas.

Tumblr archive with all of the art, ideas and anwsered asks.

Youtube Playlist which I'm pretty proud of how it turned out :] It's in a specific order but you can put it on mix.

Note: even though I try to keep things light some things may be triggering for some readers.

CW: Anxiety, Suicide ideation, Implied death, Choking, Non sexual abuse.

Wordcount: 9,700 (It's not rounded, that's literally the number Word tells me it's at lol)

Welp.

Here we are again, in the old village house (yey...). Well, 'I am', my family won't arrive to settle in for another week. They brought me here beforehand a few days ago for organizational reasons. They took a quick look inside before they left to see the state of the house, if it needed any repairs and such, and they headed back to the city. While they finish preparing everything, I take care of the house and text them messages about anything that may be needed for when they return.

We haven't been here in years, the house needs some repairs, and I'm sorry for the spiders, but it could use a deep cleaning. We can't do a deep cleaning but I have been cleaning what I can these last few days, at least so that it looks decent... at first glance.

Well, it's not like anyone is coming to visit.

It's a quiet town, until the kids from the town next door come to make a racket with their bikes. They play in our field, scare away the cats and throw cans around. They are assholes.

Anyways, the people in the village are nice. The adults I mean, the kids I used to play with, I don't get along with them anymore. Some of them aren't kids anymore, we have grown up and are going down different paths. But those who are still kids... they're still interested in the only older kid in the town who listened to them and let them do whatever they wanted, to a certain extent.

I don't want them to come looking for me to go out and play. I've been avoiding them by saying that I'm busy cleaning the house and getting it ready for when my family arrives, but I feel like interacting with them less and less. That's why I'm going out to the woods behind the house to get lost for a while, as always. The kids don't go near the forest so they won't bother me there.

There is an area for tourism and hiking but not many people come, some police cars border the forest from time to time but they never go inside. The reports of missing people in this forest have been coming in for decades, only some lost children have returned but there is no trace of any of the adults who disappeared along with the rest of the children. The areas marked with signs are safe but you can't go out of bounds unless you want to disappear with those people.

And I, who right now am alone and with no one to notice my absence if I go missing, am going to head straight to the forest. Don't you think, I don't want to disappear, I just don't like people and I usually go into the forest but I don't go too far away. As long as I see my house in the distance, I know how to return.

I grab my bag with my sketchbook and pencil case, in case I feel like drawing (probably won't) and step out to the back porch. The outer sliding metal door that protects the inner one is rusty and difficult to open. It would be better to oil it but I don't know when it will be done, considering that the broken railing has had a wooden board tied to it for years. I already sent my mother a message talking about it.

I enter the forest and start walking around. It's hot, of course, it's early summer, but it's quite noticeable after being in the cool inside the brick and stone house. That's the good thing about coming here in summer, the houses are made to stay cold inside and it's great, sometimes I even need to wear a jacket. But outside I'm dying, the trees don't provide enough shade. In fact, some trees are missing. I used to have my routes memorized but time has passed and some paths have changed, some have disappeared and others have formed. I admit that it makes me a little sad... I began to walk absorbed in my thoughts not paying attention to where I was going.

I'm walking away, I should go back. I'm not going to draw anything here anyway, and it's hotter outside than inside so I'm gonna to turn around-

I hear screams and laughter in the distance, the sound of the voices produces me an immediate disgust. It's those kids from the next door village. They must have come to 'investigate' about the disappearances or maybe they don't care and they just came to be idiots-

They're getting closer.

I don't want them to see me. God. Don't let them see me. Anyone but them. They're getting closser. Don't let them see me. I can't go back home now. They're cutting me off. Of all the people who could have found me. It had to be them. No, please. Don't let them see me. I have to go further into the forest, I can't let them see me. They're getting closer. Don't let them see me. I want to leave. I want to leave. I'm getting too far. I want to leave. I don't see my house. I want to leave. I don't see the village. I want to leave. I don't see the kids.

...

Where am I?

Fuck.

Where am I?

I want to leave.

…

—

Now I'm wandering through the forest. I don't want to go back. I want to get out of here. Even though I'm walking in a straight line I feel like I'm going around in circles, and I'm not going to get out of here now. Great. I'm lost. Now what? People who get lost in this forest don't return, no one has returned except for some children.

...

I'm going to disappear.

...

For now I keep walking until something happens. Maybe there's an animal that kills people who get lost, or maybe it's a group of kidnappers, or maybe I should stop giving myself anxiety and focus on getting out of here. Maybe if I find a field or road, or even the tourist area, I'll be able to get out of here and return bordering the fores-

...

There is... colorful graffitis on the trees. Someone has painted eyes, hands, stars and more on the bark of the trees...

What's this?

I don't know where I've come to, I didn't know this was here, in the middle of nowhere in the forest. The trees have red leaves like in autumn even though summer has just started... The first thing I thought was 'climate change's fault' but there is something that stands out in the middle of this entire flat area and it is disturbing me.

In the center there is a kind of circular gate made of stones supported by roots.

Okay, maybe it doesn't sound aaaaas disturbing as, I don't know, a totem with a human figure being impaled or something, but it's giving me a bad vibe. What is this place? Who built a stone arch in the middle of everything and why?

A bird appears flying from behind me and goes through the gate, but nothing comes out on the other side... wait what? how? The bird has crossed the gate, and disappeared behind the stone arch? ...I had to imagine it, it's not possible that that happened. I approach the arch but not before picking up a rock from the ground and throwing it to the other side of the gate.

It's still there.

…

For some reason the thought of going through the gate makes me uncomfortable, so I go around it.

...

...And the rock? It's not there.

I go back and look from inside the portal.

The rock is there.

...

I look from outside. The rock is not there. I repeat this multiple times. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock... What?

Alright, this is weird, this is VERY weird.

Even though it is clear that this isn't normal, I have to go back, pick up a fallen branch from the ground and pass it through the portal. This time I don't throw it, I've grabbed a branch long enough to see it peek out from the other side of the arch.

...

Welp.

I should be seeing not only the branch, but also my hand sticking out of the side, but I'M NOT SEEING IT. OKAY. OK. ALRIGHT. IT'S CONFIRMED. THIS IS WEIRD.

I'm asleep, right? Or unconscious. I must have passed out from exhaustion from endlessly wandering through the woods and I'm delirious or something. No, wait, it can't be, in my dreams I'm not this aware of what's around me. Where am I?

A breeze begins to pass through the gate. It's getting stronger but not enough to push me. The leaves rise from the ground and float towards the portal, none slipping outside, all entering through the stone arch. Suddenly the breeze that had become wind stops. The leaves fall to the ground.

...

I look back for a moment, as if there was something behind me that could help me make a decision. Grabbing with both hands my bag strap I look back at the portal again. Okay. Alright. This is possibly the death of me. I'm going to cross. I'm going to go to the other side. I'm just one step away from crossing. I wrinkle my face and narrow my eyes before taking the last step.

...

Nothing has happened. Everything seems the same. However, I know it's not the same... Or at least it doesn't feel the same!

Well, I've already crossed. I'm gonna... keep walking, I guess, even though this is scaring me and I don't know if I'll know how to go back. For now I'm moving forward. The red leaves have disappeared several meters ago. It's starting to look like a normal forest, except for the multicolored drawings and handprints that I keep seeing on the trees. In fact, it seems like the trees are taller with every step I take. So high that I can barely see the top. I almost tripped while looking up. Whether this is the same forest I come from, I no longer know.

This was a bad idea. I just hope to find something that'll help me know where I am, a sign or the road if possible.

*cling*

...?

I hit something with my foot. There is a ball attached to a small chain on the ground. Oh, no, wait. *cling diring ding* It's a rusty bell, I think. It doesn't have the typical cross-shaped hole or slot, rather it has several holes in a pattern. It looks like it can be opened.

There's nothing inside.

There's nothing? But I could have sworn it had rang. I close it again and shake it.

*...*

Nothing.

I'm going to put it in the bag, it's totally a good idea. I'll think about it later, for now I'm moving on.

—

I've been walking for a while now and throughout this time I had a constant chill on the back of my neck, as if someone had their eyes on me.

*din dirring* I hear a soft tinkling in the distance.

Okay, I'm not alone, awesome, what do I do now? Do I say hi and risk the potential danger finding me? Do I ignore the sound of bells and keep moving? It's very possible that whatever made that sound is watching me right now...

“Hello?” Still nervous, I try to say hello looking around “...” “Is someone there? H-hello?”

“-HEEEEELLO!”

“AAAAAH-!” I cover my mouth with my hands as I turn to look at what the hell has greeted me back. I take a few steps back while I look at the figure of earthy and sunny tones who responded, he seems as surprised as I am, I think (with the scream I made, normal), at least it looks like he's surprised. He wears a two toned wooden mask... it looks like a sun, with a crescent moon on its right... It gives the impression of two faces merged into one... Damn, he is tall, he's almost doubles my size. He appears to have two skin tones dividing him in half, his right side being the lighter and the left darker, especially the arm, which also has a light-colored tattoo of lines representing a sun symbol that covers from the shoulder to the pectoral and to the middle of the bicep. The right arm is covered by a long fingerless glove that reaches to the shoulder and is tied around the chest. He's wearing baggy pants with leaves coming out of the waist and legs, some... cloth boots? with a long toe bending sharply and curving in a geometric swirl with a bell at the tips, a bag hangs from the waistband of his pants and falls below his hips. His chest and neck are tied by ropes decorated with hanging stones, metals and crystals, he wears a pendant that ends in a carved symbol of a crescent moon with rays. Some of the 'sunrays' on his mask have ropes tied between them holding them in place and some metal dangling. Some red ribbons along with bells hang from his wrists.

“um... Helloooooo.” He greets again, this time he lowers his tone of voice. I manage to react, I turn around and walk away. “¡ah- eh- Wait!” Nope, I'm not going to wait and see what he does with me, I'm leaving. “He-! Hey!” Nope. I quicken my pace and try to get lost among the trees, changing direction every time he appears in my vision angle. “Human? Human-! FRIEND. Can I call you friend?!” Nope, nope, nopnop, nop, nop, nope. “Friend! Hey!” God, no, god, god, no, why are you following me? “Look, I know what you're trying to look for...! And believe me, you're not going to find it~!” How are you still following me? Where do you come from? “Hey! Listen! Why don't we do something else besides running in circles!?” Noooooooooo... “There are TONS of other activities we could do! Like... HOLY MOLY, look at this stick! Do you like sticks!?” Leave me aloneee... “You aren't looking at it! Okay, alright, you don't like sticks, erm... what might be of interest to you...” If I don't look at it it doesn't exist. “Could you help me a little here?” I want to leave... “Look, no matter how much you wander around, you won't find the portal-!”

“STOP—! STOP FOLLOWING ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!” The sudden scream startles him again, making him jump in place. He stands completely still looking at me. I'm leaving before he gets angry.

“B-but I- ...okay.” I thought I heard him say before I left him behind.

It seems that this time he's not following me, finally... Although I'm not calm, he could still be following me and simply not be in sight. Anyway, I think I'm coming back? I hope I am. I want to find that portal as soon as possible and go back to the house- what the fu-? “WHY?”

He's there. Right where I left him. Sitting on a rock. Waiting. “...! I haven't moved from the spot!”

“Yeah- but- WHY?”

“Because I knew you were going to come back here!”

“...What?”

“Is what I was trying to tell you! You can't leave! No matter how hard you try to find the portal, it won't appear before you!” The Sunman exclaimed.

“…” I'm just about to turn around. In fact, I'm already turning around.

“N-No, wait! Please don't go!” I stop in my track and look back at him. He gets off the rock he was sitting on but remains squatting, almost at my height, a little below. I move back, keeping my distance. He puts his hands up. “Look, I'm not doing anything! I won't chase you! Just- ...don't go.”

“…”

“L-look, listen, there's no way it's going to show up! Well, not to you at least. But even if you find it back, it won't work! It only works when it wants to work.”

“...” Let's imagine that I trust what he says “Ok... and when does it want to be working?”

“...” “No idea!”

“...”

I'm about to collapse on the spot. At least he doesn't seem hostile, for now. “...” “Okay... Good... Great...” “...” “FanTAS-tic.”

“...” “You don't seem like it.”

*ಠ_ಠ* I could only look to the side in frustration in response to that. I looked back at him with concern showing on my face and grabbing the strap of my bag with both hands. “And... what... do you plan to do with me?”

He took his hand to the chin of his mask and with the other he held his elbow in a comical thoughtful pose. “MmmmnnDUN know! What do you plan to do?” He asked so nonchalantly. He ended up sitting on the ground crossing his legs. “You have a good while until the portal opens again...!”

“...”

He started swaying. The silence has become uncomfortable for a while now, but I can't organize myself on what to say, and I don't know if I trust him. I don't even know if he's human, although something tells me he's not.

“You could wait here.” He suggested, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Or anywhere else, if you want. I would recommend somewhere high like the treetops (for no particular reason)! If you're going to wait... But wouldn't that be really boring?” There was something in his tone of voice... “Being there... at the top of a tree... waiting... alone... with no friends to hang out with (can I call you a friend?). Aaall on your own until the portal opens again.” He looks aside for a moment “...” And back at me again. “With no one to be with you.” He repeats the head motion “...” “alone...” Wow... I wonder what he's implying, ahem. “Wouldn't you want to have someone...? ...Someone...keeping you company?” Yeah, yeah...

“...” I guess... “I-I guess I wouldn't want to be alon-?”

He rises to his knees. “That's what I thought! Do you want me to accompany you? Only if you want! But can I?” He clasped his hands together as if asking a favor.

“um...”

“Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?” He approaches, dragging his knees on the ground.

I'm starting to miss personal space. “Okay! Okay, alright...”

“REALLY?” He started hopping and jumping around me. “OH, ohoho hO! Great! Oh, there are TONS of things we could do! Like... Like...!” He moves faster, doing bigger and bigger flips and jumps, it almost seems that he is very light, as if the breeze of air lifted him. “We could paint and decorate trees! Or we can also paint on rocks! Or paint leaves! Or paint us! Oh! We can tell stories! I'm very good at making shadows and puppets.” He moves from place to place with each sentence he says. “We can also play something!” It's moving so fast all I can see is the wind and the leaves it stirs up as it moves. “Anything! Whatever you want!” Finally he stopped in front of me half crouched. “What do ya say?! Hmm! Friend!?”

“Don't... call me like that.” Makes me feel awkward.

“Oh...why not-? Oh true, true! How silly, I don't know your name! What do you call yourself, potential friend?”

“...”

“...” “Aren't... you gonna tell me your name?”

I twist the bag strap “Depends...” I must say I'm a little skeptical about this. “Are there any consequences for telling you my name?”

“...Consequences...?”

“Like... I don't know... Mmm-by telling you my name I become your possession and cannot regain my freedom until... certain conditions are met...”

“...”

“Why- how-? Where did you get that from!?” It did sound a bit stupid when I said it out loud.

“I dunno- that's what they say in old children's stories about elves and fairies!” I just hope the embarrassment isn't showing on my face.

“Really?” I could feel his deadpan expression behind the mask.

I shrugged.

“...” “Okay... Oh, what if I tell you my name first? Will you tell me yours? It's only fair, I'm Sun!”

“...”

“Can I know your name now?” He asked expectantly.

“...How do I know you're not trying to trick me?”

“...” I must be driving him crazy with this “The only thing I can do with your name is treasure it in my memory.” He put his hands together as if he was carefully holding something and brought them to the forehead of the mask. I gave him a distrustful look. It doesn't seem like it made him desist “Please?”

I grip at my worn out bag strap “...” “ Fern...” I ended up murmuring.

“Hmm? Fern? OH, I like it!” “Sounds like FRIEND.” He emphasized the last word by making a gesture like jazz hands, leaning to the side and moving his head closer to me.

“Yeah... I think you are missing a couple of letters.”

He straightened his posture again. “Nope, I don't think so!”

“You're still not my friend.”

“Oooowwwwwnnnnnggghhh” He lowers his head dramatically until it practically touches the ground “nnnnnnngggghh, alright!” And cartwheels to stand up again “So... what will it be?”

“Hm?”

He straightened his posture and puts his arms on his hips “We have plenty of time, ya? What do you wanna to do?”

“I don't know, what do you want to do-?” Bad mistake.

“Come with me!”

“aaAAAAA-!” Before I knew it, he had grabbed my arm and I was being dragged through the woods. We visited several places and he offered me an activity to do in each of them.

—

Sun took me to a place where the trees were full of colorful paint “We practice painting on the trees here!” He said.

“Ah.” That explains the crossed out lines and the repeated imperfect shapes. By the look of it is also where he tests the quality of the paint.

“Do you want us to paint something!?”

“Not really...”

“Oh, would you prefer it to be on a rock?”

“Nah.”

“...And in star leaves-?”

“I don't want to paint, Sun.”

“Oh... Well, I can show you more places!”

“OkayyEEEEEE-” And I'm being dragged away again.

—

He brought me to another area of the forest, the ground here seemed more leveled. Not a single tree was straight, all of them were twisted and even seemed to be hollow. “How about playing something!? Like hide and seek-! No, wait, I can’t let you out of my sight.” He mumbled at the end “And chase?! We can climb a tree and see who reaches the top first! We have a place full of vines and it's perfect for swinging- and jumping from one tree to another-!”

“I don't... really want to move a lot…” With the way he runs without getting tired and me, who doesn't exercise... he would let me dead.

“Oh... well, theeen-”

—

We arrived at a place full of vegetation and humidity. Sun seemed quite excited... “This place is full of insects! We can look for cool bugs!”

“Mmmmmnoooo... I don't want to.” I had to tell him, trying to show as little disinterest as I could.

“You don't like them?” He sounded a little disappointed hearing my reaction.

“No, I do like them, some of them, but I don't like to touch them.” And I'm terrified of them flying into my face.

“Oh, well, it's okay!” He said brushing it off and we moved on to the next stop.

—

“I know that bird!” He stopped us on the way to point at a robin high up on a branch.

“ah.” I said as I removed leaves from my hair and clothes, and checked that I still had my glasses.

“He's a little rascal!”

“...” I think the bird is making us the equivalent of 'mooning'.

—

“Look fish-! Oh, they're gone…” The noise must have scared them away “We can go find more places to look at them if you want!”

“...” “...no, pass...”

“…”

—

“Look at this stick!” Sun had suddenly sprinted past me, picked up something from the ground, and came back just as fast, showing me the stick as if it were a sword.

“oh.” It's a cool stick, must admit it.

“Do you want to look for more sticks!?”

“No...”

“oh...” He looked at the ground in disappointment.

“Why would we go looking for sticks? There are all over the ground.” Specifically, in this area the ground was all sticks. We are literally just stepping on sticks right now. I don't see the ground.

“Variety!” Sun said pointing at the ground with both hands. A branch is heard falling in the distance.

—

“That's a deer!” He pointed at the deer passing nearby. The deer stopped to look at us.

“Yeah, I see.”

“We call 'em Adoquín!”

“...Why is it called Adoquí-?”

*THUMP!*

“…”

The deer smacked itself against a tree when trying to run away. It stands still for a minute, processing the hit, looks at a side and then the other, then runs off again but this time avoiding the tree.

Another *thump!* is heard in the distance.

“...” Alright.

—

“Do you wannaaaa look for pine cones? There will be some fallen around here. Oh! We can also look for mushrooms!”

I keep saying no to everything he suggests and it doesn't look like he's going to run out of ideas to pass the time. In fact, he's very insistent that we do something. I guess at some point I'll have to say yes to something. “...” “...okay...”

“Hmm?! Okay? Okay to what?” His exaggerated surprise offends me but I don't blame him.

“To... I don't know, pine cones?”

“...You don't look very convinced.”

“…”

“OKAY! On the hunt for pine cones then!” I startle a little at the sudden shout. He makes a pose pointing in a direction, as if he were leading an expedition.

He takes me through the forest looking for pine cones. We aren't finding many, especially me who's not paying any interest. He tries encouraging me to put more effort into it but I keep looking at my boots.

We passed near a shingle river. I find a pebble at my feet and bend down to pick it up and take a better look. It's like a bluish gray, it has some reddish lines in the shape of waves, it feels good to the touch.

I hear the soft tinkling of a bell and feel a shadow fall beside me. “You like pebbles?” Sun is crouched next to me with his arms full of pine cones.

“…” I nod.

We go down to the river and spend some time collecting pebbles with curious shapes or small details of colors, lines, spots, etc. He comes over to show me one every time he finds weird shapes.

“…”

*rin* This time he's hunched over resting his hands on his knees. “You look… a little down.”

“…”

“Hey... we can do something else if you're tired of the pebbles.”

“...” I drop the pebbles I was looking at on the ground.

“...” He turns his gaze from me to the sky. It hasn't gotten late enough to be getting dark, but it's been a while between the walks we've taken (dragging me from here to there), looking for pine cones and then pebbles in the river. He looks back at me. “Oh, I know! Can I take you to one last place? A better place than the ones I've shown you!”

“…” I got up from the ground and waited for him to start leading to follow him.

We enter the increasingly thick forest. The trees are taller and bigger, in fact, I start to see platforms and bridges lying between the trees, I even see small shanties in them.

“Wait here!” He takes a run and jumps onto one of the trees with bridges. He takes three steps running up the tree, with a jump he pushes himself off and climbs with agility until he reaches the platform and climbs on it. “Just a moment!” It can't be seen from here but I can faintly hear some squeaks. I have no idea of what he's doin-

*rush*

“........eh?”

A rope.

A rope has fallen. At the level of my head.

“.......”

What?

…

He said he knew a better place.

No. It can't be this.

“Is it at a good height?! Can you reach it?!” He says...

It can't be.

A better place.

He can't be referring to this.

A better place.

A better place. A better place. A better place. A better place.

“Can you put your foot in?!”

“..........” For some reason what he said throws me off. “WAT-?”

“Can you put your foot in the loop and hold on to the rope so I can pull you up!?”

“..............”

“You can't climb trees, can you?! ...or you can?"

… “...” Oh “....It's...It's too high!”

“Okay!” Squeaks are heard and the rope descends to the ground.

I put my foot into the rope as he told me and hold on to it. “O-okay...!”

“Are you ready!?”

“Yes!”

“Okay!”

He begins to pull up the rope (which doesn't tighten around my foot as it supports my weight) and helps me up to the platform. (That's what it was for, obviously, what else would he want? I'm such an...) “Come on!” He says cheerfully, as always, and takes me over the bridges. “You seem tense... Don't tell me you're afraid of heights!”

“S-something like that... it's nothing.” He tilts his head at that but he says nothing. I have an unpleasant sensation in my throat.

We arrived at a high place with a view of waterfalls, I can't see above the trees. We sat on one of the bridges, resting our arms on the rope that serves as a railing and letting our legs hang off the bridge. I've thought about taking out the sketchbook to draw... but I don't really feel like it right now, so I just quietly observe the landscape. It is a better place, yeah.

…

I feel watched. I turn to look at him ...Of course he was looking at me. I don't even know whether to say something or keep quiet. ...I decide... not to say anything and look to the front.

“You... aren't very talkative, huh.”

“…”

“Not that it's a bad thing! Many people who have come here weren't very talkative at first either.” More people...

“...” “I have… nothing to talk about.” I don't want to talk.

“...” “Well, I do.”

“…”

“If it's okay with you, of course.” He laughed. Although something tells me that he is going to talk anyway.

“…”

“...” “What brings you to the forest?”

“...” Really? “I got lost.”

“Yeah, I already know!” He says between laughs “But what made you get lost?”

“...” “There was a group of kids I didn't want to get close to and I decided to go into the woods to lose them.” He makes a 'hum' sound and looks at me expectantly waiting for me to continue “And... I ended up getting myself lost...”

“...” “Only that?”

“...” “Well, yeah.” What do you mean 'oNlY tHaT'?

“...Mmm...” He places his hand on the chin of the mask.

“...” “What?”

“Nothing!” “...” “You know? You're the first human to visit the forest in a loooong time. For several cycles now…”

“Cycles?”

“Mhm” He nods.

“...What are cycles?”

Sun points to the sky “The turns that the Moon makes in the sky!” He emphasizes by rotating his arm in the air. It's pointing right at the Moon that's visible in the sky.

“Oh...” He uses the lunar cycles to know what day he's in, makes sense. “...” “So no one has been here in a while.”

“That's what I said! Well no, but yes!”

“A-and so the humans who came are still here? Have they been here all this time?”

“Yeah...! Well, no!” He paused. “They're gone!”

“What do you mean they're-?” He didn't let me finish the question.

“They are gone! They 'left'!” It sounded like he had given this answer many times already.

“What do you mean they left-?”

“They 'left'!”

“...” “...You mean...they disappear-?”

“Nope!” “...” “Something like that!” “…” “Mmmore or less…” He hesitated between one answer and another.

It seemed worthless to ask about the missing people. “...okay.” “Can I ask you-?”

“You can ask me anything!” A hint of nervousness escaped his tone.

“...okay. What is this forest?”

“My home! And the home of many other animals.”

“...” “Alright, and... how many are you...? How many of you live here? I mean. You have taken me everywhere and we haven't seen anyone of your…” I make a pointing gesture, spinning my hand around in the air. He can't be human, it doesn't look like he is. “...” “Honestly, I don't know what you are.”

“...” “There's only me... And someone else!” He looks away, as if trying to hide something.

“Oh... and who's that someone?”

“Oh! N-no, don't worry! He’s… just a friend… But it’s not important that you meet him or anything!” He brushes it off making a gesture with his hand. “Uh-um- How about we talk about you!? huh? What things do you like? Earlier, since you said no to everything, I thought you didn't like ANYTHING!” He continued talking without letting me respond. “I didn't know what to do if I ran out of ideas. I started to worry! But at least you're not one of those who spend all day shouting and threatening with a weapon in hand, ahaha...” He let out a nervous laugh.

“Um-”

“Well, you ran away screaming, yes.” He began to gesticulate widely as he complained “Like everyone-! No, not like everyone, some don't run, but those who, apart from running and screaming, attack you...! I mean...!” Something tells me he wasn't going to shut up and I was already half listening. “First they throw rocks at my head, then they insult me and run away. And I have to run after them because I can't just leave a human running around alone! No! I can't! Not in this forest! Anything could happen to them! But they never let me warn them!” He sounded tired. “And when I get them to stop running away from me, they throw things at me again and yell before demanding me to tell them where are they and how to get out of here, and when I explain it, they yell at me even more and accuse me of lying!” He turns to look at me with his hands pointing to his chest. “What reason would I have to lie?!” I don't know if he hasn't noticed or if he's ignoring the deapan I responded with. “UGH! I don't know what to do with those! But anyhow... I'm so glad we found something to do in the end!

“eh?” I snap out of my thoughts. It seems that now he is directing the conversation to me.

“The pebbles!” He sits turning his body towards me, leaving one single leg hanging from the bridge and the other resting on it. He takes out of his pocket some of the pebbles that he had been collecting with me. “I don't know why I assumed you wouldn't want to look for rocks. Maybe because you didn't want to paint them before... You left them back in the river in the end tho, I thought you would keep some.”

“Ah... I don't know. I didn't think I could take them with me.”

“You can keep some of mine!”

“No, it's okay.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“You suuuuure??” He insist.

“Yeees.”

He puts a pebble very close to my face “Suuuuuuuure?” Each 'u' sounding higher than the last.

“...” I push the pebble away from my face “Yeeeees.”

“mmmh... Okay! But I hope you don't regret it later when you don't have a cool rock like these and think 'Oh man, I could have a cool rock right now!'.” After a bad impression of me, he keeps the rocks in his pants. “So... Besides pebbles, what else do you like? Mm? I haven't been able to deduce much from today.”

“Don't know.”

“What do you mean you don't know!? Oh! Is it a secret?” He approaches and starts to whisper, putting his hands to the mask's mouth “I won't tell anyone, promise.”

“No. I don't know.” I looked to the side. “I can't think of anything... so suddenly.”

“ooow...” He slumps a little over the railing, looking sad.

“…” I hesitate whether to say something or not “...Drawing...”

“Mmm?!” He no longer seems sad.

“And listening to music, I guess.” “It's... all I do... most of the time.”

“Really!? Oh! I also like drawing! And music! But is that really all you do all day? Don't you do other kinds of things? Like reading! Or writting. Don't you go out for a walk or play with your friends?” I wrinkle my face at that last bit and he tilts his head in confusion.

“I don't go out.” “I have comics, but I rarely read.”

“Comics?”

“Um... They are stories but instead of narrating what happens there are drawings and only what the characters say is written.”

“...It's a book with drawings?”

“Yeah, but with a lot of drawings on each page, from start to finish.”

“WOAH.” He sounded perplexed. “That's drawing A LOT.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Ahh, I'd love to see what they look like.” He rested his arm on the railing to hold his head in his hand “Too bad I can't…”

“I didn't bring them anyway.”

“Do you normally carry them around?”

“No, it's just that I didn't bring them to the village with me, I left them at home.”

“...” “Oh!” It seems that something has clicked on him. “You are not from the village.”

“No, I'm from a more urban area. My family used to come to the village every year in the summer, but we stopped coming. Now it seems that we are trying to get back into the habit.” I sighed.

“Why did you stop coming?”

“...That's personal.”

“Oh... okay.” He let a minute of awkward silence pass. “Hey, I can bring some books that I have at home! I think you might be interes-!” He looks away from me to the sunset behind us, the sun is almost gone. “-ted...” I look at the sunset too and then at him with confusion. “...” “...oh...oh-OH, Oh-no!” He stands up abruptly causing the bridge to shake slightly. What could have he seen? “We have to move!” He extends a hand to help me up. “We have to start moving!”

I get up in a hurry on my own, ignoring his hand. “O-okay, to where?”

“Come, run!” Once again he grabs me by the arm and leads me over the bridges between the trees until we reach a tree hut. It's small and dark, it looks like a small shelter. He opens the door and enters “You'll spend the night here, stay inside, do not go out, try to hide well and don't open the windows or doors, okay? Here, there are some blankets. I'll come back later.”

“Wait wait wait! What? What do you mean you'll come back later? What's happening? Why do I have to hide-!?”

“Sssh-ssh-sh” He grabs me and covers my hand with his, his left hand resting on the back of my right hand. He begins to speak in a calmer tone, with a voice that I had not heard him use until now. “It's okay, nothing happens. I have to go, I'll come back, but I can't stay now. You hide, try to rest, I'll be back, I promise.”

“...” I take my hand away from his. “Okay.” “I'll stay, but don't take too long.” Please, I don't want to be here alone.

“Yes. I'll be back.” He affirmed one last time. I watch him run away and disappear among the trees and undergrowth. I enter the small shelter to inspect it.

*TAP TAP TAP* *PLOK* *TAP TAP FOOSSSH! *

…? A noise comes from behind me. I turn around and there's a pebble on the floor.

…

Okay.

I take out my phones flashlight to see better inside the house. There are what appear to be some trunks, small cabinets, and a trapdoor in the floor, It seems that there are corners and blind spots for the windows where the little moonlight that enters through the cracks cannot reach. It's freezing cold and I haven't brought my jacket. I leave the bag on the floor against the wall, I cover myself with the blanket and curl up in a ball in the most hidden corner I can find. I'm tired, I want to sleep, but I can't close my eyes.

…

—

It's been a few hours now.

…

I can't sleep, I simply can't.

…

It doesn't look like he's coming back.

*creek*

…?

*rin*

*tap tap, creek*

Sun?

“S-...” I pause before saying a word, I have the feeling I shouldn't speak. I remain silent and wait.

*tap, tap, tap, creeeeeek, tap*

*rin dirrin*

If it were Sun he would have already let me know it is him. That or he's playing a prank on me which isn't funny, but I'd better stay silent. From the shadow I look at the windows. I notice movement through the cracks, something has just passed through the wall next to me.

*dirriring dirring*

I cover myself more with the blanket, back against the wall, I stay as still as I can, I leave a gap between the blankets and the floor to see. A red glow sneaks through the cracks in the window and scans the room.

…

The glow is gone.

*tap, tap, rin, tap, dirring, tap, tap*

It's on the roof.

…

*tap, tap, tap...*

It moves again.

*rin *

…

It sounded on the other side of the wall.

…

“nghehe...”

It laughed. Why did it laugh? Whatever is on the other side of the wall just let out a laugh that made the hairs on the back of my neck and all over my back rise.

…

Oh no.

Oh no no no no no no no no.

I have to move. I have to get out of here. I can't stay here.

*creeek*

It came from the door. It's trying to get in.

*rin*

The trapdoor.

*rin dirring*

Where was the trapdoor?

*creek creeeek*

I crawl across the floor making the minimum noise, carefully feeling the floor, looking for the edge of the door.

*tap tap ring dirring*

…!

I found it. I open it carefully. It's too high. I'm at a very high altitude, I don't know if I'll be able to go down.

*rin, creeek...*

…

Fuck it. I slip through the gap quietly, closing it slowly, but that doesn't stop the door from creaking. I cling to the bark of the tree-

…

I left my bag. If it comes in and see it it'll know for sure that I have been there-

…

It doesn't matter now. I have to focus on getting down from the tree without killing myself. My fingers hurt and I can't put my foot down properly because of the soles of my boots. I feel like I'm going to slip at any moment. Somehow I make it to the ground. Still attached to the tree, I look up at the house. I don't see it-

…

A shadow appears from behind the tree. I press myself against the tree and hold my breath. It's looking for something. When he doesn't seem to look I move to a nearby tree, he moves to another tree, I move to the next, and the next, and the next. We continue like this until I start to get further and further away from him. When I think I've lost him I start running. I hide behind a tree to catch my breath.

…

I slowly peek out from behind the tree.

*rin*

…

It sounded above me.

…

I don't look up, I run.

“nnghehee...” He laughs.

He gives me a few seconds advantage before coming after me. The chase begins.

I run forward as much as I can, I hear his footsteps behind me but I don't look back, there's no time for that. I hear him laughing like a madman as he moves from left to right, from one tree to another, crawling on the ground, trying to confuse me, waiting for me to make the slightest mistake to catch me.

“Ah-” I trip. As soon as I fall to the ground I get up, ripping my stockings and scraping my knees, falling again, my nerves not letting me stand up.

“Nnhehehhehe...” Asshole. He has stopped running, he approaches by walking. I try to keep as much distance as my hands and legs allow me to move. I search desperately with my hand for something on the ground to throw. Finally my hand finds something.

I throw a rock at him “AGH!”

The rock passes by him, flying one or two meters away from him. He hasn't even moved, he didn't move a single muscle to avoid it, he just watches me still from where he is. I hear the nearby *pof* of the rock falling to the ground.

“...”

…

I get up and run. He grabs my leg and I fall to the ground again. He won't let me get up, every time I try he throws me to the ground. I struggle, I kick, but I don't break free from his grip. He never stops laughing, he is enjoying this. He drags me closer to him, no matter how much I twists, he doesn't let go. “ACKH-!...Hhhh-hh...-hh-h...” He grabs me by the neck, red pupils stared at me, I'm looking straight into his crescent moon mask (or waning, I don't know. Do you think I care right now?). He raises his free hand and his veins begin to glow a platinum color that extends to his fingertips. The hand approaches my face, I don't know what it's going to do to me, I'm scared, I don't want to look. I close my eyes, cover my face with my hands. I wait.

…

…?

Nothing's happening. It stopped. Why?

“Mun, nïe.” I hear Sun's voice. I open my hands a little to see what's going on. Indeed, it is Sun, several meters away from us... He looks exhausted. The one with the moon mask stares at him for a moment, until he decides to look at me again while bringing his glowing veiny hand closer. “¡Mun!” The Moonman looks at Sun again “Fehreh.” He seems to speak another language, I don't understand what he says.

“...” “Nïe” For the first time I hear him say something else besides laughing. Even though I can't understand him.

“Fïer pehgïer.” Sun responds.

“...” Moonman remains silent again.

“Bïelïe óubseh góuh...” Sun continues.

“Móu txehb móunsuvïe.” The Moon responds.

“Lïe bóu ¿Sóundïe mïesugïeb fehreh nïe txehtehrlïe?”

…

The air feels tense. Probably because of the hand grabbing my neck.

“¿Zkaóu fuóunbehb txehtóur tkaehnvïe nïe bóueh mehb zkaóu ïesreh rehuh óunsóurrehveh óun leh suóurreh?” Longest sentence I've heard him say so far.

“...” “Fïer óubseh góuh.” “...” “Vóuyehmóu óuntehrdehrmóu vóu óulleh” Sun takes a step forward “Nïe suóunóu fïer zkaóu ehtehkehr ehbu” Another step forward “Nïe sóunóumïeb fïer zkaóu txehtóurlóub... óubsïe” Another step “Óullïeb bïelïe óubsehn... fóurvuvïeb.”

“...” There's no response from the moon man.

“Behkehb tïemïe óub óubïe.”

“...”

…

The hand that grabbed my neck now grabs my shirt and yanks it. I grab his wrist as he pulls me to my feet and drags me to Sun, making me stumble. He throws me against him. Sun catches me before I fall over.

“Ska óubpkaóurhïe óub óun gehnïe.” The moon says something as he walks past. Sun puts a hand on his shoulder before letting him go, there's a pause between the two. The Moonman disappears into the trees. Wind and leaves are heard passing by.

…

He's gone. I feel dizzy. I fall down.

—

…

A faint light begins to seep through the cracks, illuminating enough to wake me up and make me open my eyes, I look around. I see my bag propped against the wall. I'm at the shelter where Sun left me.

…

My body aches, I have a hard time keeping my eyes open, it feels like I've been sleeping on the hard floor. No, wait, there are some blankets underneath me... It's still too hard to sleep well, either that or as I said, it shouldn't help me at all that everything hurts. After a while of staring at the ceiling I try to sit up. I emphasize trying. With every slight effort a pained moan escapes me.

“Oof...” Hurts.

*creek, tap tap tap tap*

Those wood creaks bring back bad memories from last night (which by the way, I'm alive, wow, I just realized), I can't help but cringe at every noise, I hear footsteps approaching, I try to move but the stinging pain prevents me from it.

*creek... *

The door opens.

Triangular shapes appear through the door followed by orange earth tones. “…Oh…!” “Early bird!” Thank god it's Sun and not the other one, or something worse “I didn't expect you up this early!” He says laughingly.

“ah?”

“How are you feeling?” He walks in. When he sets foot inside I lean back, towards the wall. “...” I don't really know why I did that. Sun stands at the door showing confusion with his usual head tilt. “...Arrr...re you okay, Fern?”

“...” I became tense suddenly. I really don't know still if I can trust him? He hasn't done anything to me yet but that doesn't mean that I can trust him. I don't know if he plans to do something with me like whatever that other one, the moon one, was going to do last night. “...ehh...hhh...h...” I can't get a word out, I'm afraid to ask.

“Mm?”

“...” I don't know what to say to him. My eyes go somewhere else.

…

He enters further into the house, ignoring that I keep my distance from him, leaves a bag he was carrying on the floor and begins to open the windows, letting in the little light of the dawn that is just beginning. He kneels on the floor in front of me with the bag. “Are you hungry?” He opens the bag and takes out an apple “Do you like apples?”

“...”

“No?”

“...”

“Um... I also brought berries... (It's what I had on hand coming here) There are... different types, you can choose” He brings the bag closer to me. I move further away. “uhhh...”

“...” I want to leave.

“You don't like them either...?”

“...” I don't want to eat. I want to leave.

“...”

“*snif... *”

“u-um...!”

“...*snif* *sob*...” I started crying out of nowhere.

“Ahhh...! D-do- don't cry! Ah-I-Um- Ca-can go find other things you might like-!”

I felt ashamed for crying and I put my hands to my face trying to wipe away the tears, but they wouldn't stop coming. “*hic, sniff, snif *” I looked away in an attempt to cover my face. I ended up looking at the floor, letting my hair act as a curtain.

“I can go in a moment!” Sun was already getting up.

“...w-want to leave...” I managed to get a murmur out.

“...W-what? Um...”

“...” *hic, hic *

“O-okay, um... If you aren't hungry... -we can do something else- uh- we can go look for rocks like yesterday in the river!”

“...” I don't want to do anything “...want to leave...”

“O-or we can do something else! Ah-bah-b-b-b- W-won't you like to go draw??! Somewhere, some landscape?! Wherever you want! We can draw together! If you prefer we can look for animals instead of landscapes!”

“...leave...want to...go... *hic, snif *”

“¡D-don't n- uh! ¡L-let's... um- let's not- uh!” He no longer knew how to order his words “H-hey, ¿Why don't we go to-?” He extends his hand towards my arm.

“I want to go home...”

He stops before touching me and removes his hand. “...” “...home?” There is a pause. He remains silent and unmoving. He finally speaks “Do you want…?” His tone became more serious.

“...”

“...to... go see the portal?” I look up slightly, I can't see through the tears and the fogged lenses of my glasses.

“...” I nod my head.

—

…

We didn't walk far until the red began to become visible. He brought me back to the portal. The same plain of red leaves and stone arch in the center of it all, as yesterday.

…

Sun has been quiet the entire time.

He advances towards the portal and stands facing it. He turns. “Come.” He extends his hand towards me. “You can pass through.”

“...”

I advance towards the portal. I stop before crossing. If it doesn't take me back home, what do I do? I don't want to stay.

A breeze begins to come out of the portal. The breeze turns to wind, the leaves rise, they pass through us. It's the same thing that happened yesterday when I went to cross. I turn to face Sun. Motionless, he looks back at me, the leaves pause in the air for a second as if time has stopped, the wind changes. From where the wind and leaves came now they come in, they push me towards the portal. I finally cross it.

…

Am I in the forest I know? I turn to look at Sun who stayed behind in the portal. “...Sun?” He's not there. I look around. He's not here. I've already crossed the portal, he must have left.

I notice a sudden draft pass by me. It's soft, like someone walking past you. I turn towards the forest, I have to start moving, I don't want to be here another minute.

...The air current that I noticed has lifted some leaves, they reach the trees, between them the wind does something strange, it forms a transparent silhouette. It looks like Sun, I can barely see him but I could swear it's him. The wind figure raises its hand and makes a gesture, it wants me to follow it. When I approach it turns around and walks into the forest, leaving a trail of leaves behind it. I follow the trail of the air current. Sometimes it stops to look at me, making sure I'm still following it. The red-leafed trees and the paintings disappear from view the farther we go. We crossed the forest until we arrived at the entrance of the town, near my house. There is no one on the street. If I walked into the house and pretended nothing had happened, officially no one would have noticed my absence.

I'm not one hundred percent sure if the wind figure that guided me is Sun or not, but I should at least thank him for bringing me back.

…

The air current has dissipated before I turn around. I look around, there's no one.

…

I enter the house, go up to my room and throw the bag on the floor. I go to the bathroom to wash. …I feel something strange in my hands but I couldn't say what. Doesn't matter. I change my clothes and get into bed, the tiredness of the previous night makes my body succumb immediately and I fall asleep instantly.

—

…

“ah...!” I wake up with my lungs begging for air. I need a moment to calm my breathing. I look at the clock without lifting my head from the pillow.

…

It is 12 midday. I rub my eyes and from my eyes I move to my face. I'm still tired. My body still aches. I stare at the ceiling.

…

My bag. I reach out to pick it up from the floor, making strange positions so as not to get out of bed.

I open it and search in the pockets. The bell. I put the bell to my ear. “...” I shake it.

*rin, diring diring*

“...”

I open it.

…

It's empty.

#my writing #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf sun #fnaf moon #fanfic #forest elves au #the forest on the other side #oc #selfinsert #platonic #sun & selfinsert #moon & selfinsert #dca au #The Forest On The Other Side AU

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ziyuanyuan1113 · 3 months ago

Note

I am in love with your art style. I love all your jjk art, it’s like stitching back the pieces of my shattered heart. Your art is so soothing and has such a warm feel, I love it. Also if you don’t mind me asking what program do you use for your art, and do you have any tips? I strive to someday create art that gives the same feeling of comfort as yours. Thank you <3

Thank you so much for the kind message! I'm actually in the middle of making another jjk piece but it's been a while so I've been trying to remember and consolidate my process. This ask came at a great time hehe

I use photoshop for most of my art pieces but I think there are a lot of cheaper alternatives (procreate on Ipad, clipstudio paint, medibang etc) that would work just as well. As for tips, I have a technical and an emotional one:

My technical tip would be to use references!! Especially if you're just starting out, it's SO IMPORTANT imo for catching mistakes especially with anatomy, lighting and perspective. And by reference I mean real life photos. I think you can be inspired by other artists' work, but there is the danger of picking up their bad habits if you only use their work for reference. I would recommend sticking mainly to real life and looking to other artists only for resolving specific stylistic details once you have a solid grasp of your fundamentals.

I would start with a rough sketch first of whatever you want to draw and then look for refs that match the mood and tone you want to go for. Get the idea down first and draw from the heart. Then the refs come in to help with the specifics (ex. what a window looks like, how someone would hold a cigarette) The jump from the rough to the clean line version is an amalgamation of all the little things you learn along the way. For example, on one day, I learned that clothing folds usually start at one point and spread out. Then another day, I learned how to do 1 point perspective and so on and so forth. Then all those tidbits slowly add up to help you get better and better.

2. My second tip would be to understand what you want to convey with your artwork. If it's fanart, what about the media that you're interacting with draws you in? It doesn't always need to be a complex answer, sometimes you just want to draw a character because you think they're hot and that's totally valid imo.

I occasionally tutor very young artists and oftentimes, they will tell me that they want to draw like X artist or X painting/piece of media. I always try to encourage them to go deeper. What about that drawing resonates with them and what specifics are occurring in the picture to make them feel that way? For example, I recently realized I love environment heavy drawings not for the background itself but because they ground the characters and seeing them do mundane things makes them feel more real to me.

For the example below, the whole set was to explore friendship and mental health. Sometimes just having someone there who listens and is willing to talk with you can make a huge difference.

Once you know the purpose of your art, then I think it makes the decision making for the rest of the process much easier. What type of lighting scenario conveys support and comfort? I went with dusk. Then I started searching up references for dusk lighting. Couldn't find the ref I actually used for colour but a quick google will show you lots of similar options.

What kind of poses feel in character for Shoko vs Geto? What is the focus of the picture? As much as I love details, I think sometimes they can actually take away from the main message. For example, if I had rendered the lamp on the right a lot more, it would've distracted from the main point of the picture so I tried to keep that and the background in general simple (still something I need to improve on haha).

Then those extra technical things (value structure, cool vs warm light, reflective lighting, connotations behind colours) you pick up along the way are all there to help you better communicate what you want to convey with your art.

Okay I lied one more tip, be patient and learn to appreciate the process. Like with any skill, there are a lot of technical aspects that you have to study and practice. I think because the end result is so visual and easily accessible in comparison to other hobbies/jobs, it really cripples beginners. Even with writing, you won't realize a book is good until you learn how to read. With art, you can resonate with a painting without having drawn a single line yourself.

I think beginners and even professionals see a lot of beautiful finished artwork and get enticed by that only to be discouraged when they find their process/finished work didn't end up the way they wanted it to look. Treat it like you would learning how to write. The fundamentals can be tedious and do take time to drill into your head, but learning them will help you SO MUCH with the creative fun parts. You can't write a poem without first taking the time to learn the alphabet, spelling and grammar. You're also probably going to write a bunch of shitty poems before you write that one good one, but that's okay because each piece lets you experiment and exercise your voice. Art is the same thing, don't rush it! Enjoy the process and celebrate your improvements.

#omg i typed way too much but i have a lot to say!!#thank you for the ask this was actually so therapeutic lmao #ask #my last advice...is to be selective about who you take advice from #so you can just ignore all this or cherry pick what resonates with you and your process

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smiling-stel · 3 months ago

Text

Speaking ab the cover art from a Design pov *aside frm the comments that Cale looks out of character in the lore standpoint of vol. 2 art

(spoiler free, dw)

◇ TLDR; vol. 2 cover is beautiful, but it couldve had better color synergy. I can see why the artists did what they did, its just not my fav.

. man I'm just happy to have an official English print lmao, ill take what I can get

---

At first I didn't like the red shirt cause it was too much the same color as his hair. (Like if it was a darker or desaturated maroon, I feel it would've looked better, at least so he isn't matching with his own hair-)

. But now taking a step back n looking at vol. 2 again, zoomed out, I actually think his Face is the most jarring part [more on that later ◇]

◇ . The bright red of the shirt being lit by a yellower light, altho matching w his hair, actually isn't so jarring to me anymore cause I noticed two things

◇ 1) his pants are also tinted red (if my eyes aren't deceiving me) meaning compared to the background and the other two characters, Cale *in his entirety* is a red-toned silhouette -> this is a illustrative design strategy where the artist assigns a group of colors to a specific subject n *Restrictvely* uses the Hue Differences to their advantage. In my opinion, its a good choice in making him contrast and stand out. You can definitely Tell he's the main character with just the cover art.

. BUT it can also give off an Outlandish or alien feeling because (in this case) Cale is the ONLY red in the scene. Theres no balancing of red tones from his character to the background At All (e.g. the artists doesnt add Any red to the surroundings so his character can "fit in" with the scene- like as if you photoshopped a guy in sunny lighting into a dark room, the lighting differences is jarring n you can tell the guy is just slapped on top [not saying the artist did that at all, but the way they painted Cale to stand out feels jarring in that sense). While this does an insanely good job at putting him in the spotlight, it perhaps does Too great of a job, making him feel isolated or strange compared to the rest of the piece.

. (Then again, you can justify that that was the goal. To isolate Cale n show hes alien from a lore standpoint as he's "not from this world" as an isekai story)

◇ 2) but we're forgetting this is a COVER art. It's not Just an illustration to be pretty. To break my earlier point, altho Cale IS the only red in the *Illustration,* this art piece is - fundamentally - a Cover Art. It has the Title thats a part of its design <-<-<- And if we looksey at the title, what do we see? Red and warm tones. Like what other thing thats only reds? Cale Henituse himself!

. The Title IS the balance I said was missing in point 1). My theory is thats Also why the artist tinted the lighting on Cale to be warmer n more yellow, so as to use the yellow orange in the title (and the contrast of cools n warms from the focal points to the rest of the art) to their advantage. It helps add reds to the lower half of of the piece where the only warm tones are Choi Han's hand (the other character) and the fleeting window curtain; both of those details being at the edges of the piece and Both very small so they hardly have an influence on the overall design.

. So the title, taking up the majority of the lower half of the piece, draws the warmth down n assists in balancing the overall cover design.

So the reds have now been explained, but why are the whites so white now?--

◇ . Earlier I had said Cale's face was the most jarring part of the cover. And I still fully stand by that sentiment. Its the same idea where the reds do Too great a job isolating Cale; the whites do Too great a job contrasting w the background n the two other characters - who are black n cool tones - to the point where it Heavily draws the eye, practically in a violent manner.

. The extreme paleness is quite lore accurate for Cale's character, who hes isekaied as, but the extreme lighting Highlighting just his face compared to Choi Han's face is an extremely bold design decision (again, not a bad thing as he IS the main focal point, but adding onto the Isolating Spotlight trait going on)

◇ Ok then, but why's his jacket also so freakishly bright white? I heard from a fellow lcf fan (love discussing w you dawg <3) that they think the jacket is the worst part of his cover design.

N I agree. The reds standing out can be justified as a design strat, his face is the focal point so thats why that stands out, but why the jacket??

. Here i am on my artist apologist era <3

◇ . The jacket being blindly white is (probably) to Dampen the Harshness of his face being so bright.

. Altho the guy looks great in white ☆°• with how extreme the lighting is in this cover art, I think the artist wanted to balance the laser beam that is Cale's face paleness by spreading it out to his jacket, specifically that left collar fold ( i think that's called the lapel?)

. Basically by making the jacket's collar also intensely white, the artist gives their best attempt at trying to make Cale's skin less jarring so as to not make it so ridgedly highlighted. Like black ink spilt onto fresh paper, they tried to spread it out so its not so condensed in high contrast. ...But that only made the jacket join in on the uncanniness- TTvTT

---

(Posting the pic again so yall don't gotta scroll far o7)

Other notes I've noticed n wanted to just point out while I'm here looking through the Design Lense ☆°•

☆ The red of Cale's hair and the red of his shirt n neck scarf sandwiches his face, making it stand out even More. Ealier I said the contrast of the vibrant red to the paleness makes his face draw the eye, but thats also thanks to the *position* of the colors! Not just the colors themselves B) isn't that so cool (tell me yes even if you have to lie-)

☆ The lighting on Choi Han's cape, chest, to face -> the window arch -> to Cale's entire person being lit up + how he's wearing a long white jacket

. It all creates this general arch of light tones and highlighted features which surrounds and hugs the title! The artists really knows how to use their darks and lights !!

☆ Choi Han's entire person, Cale's pants, and our lovely Roan Miru (the dragon) are the only deepest dark black tones in the entire piece! The privilege of being the subjects <3

☆ cale looks crossed eyed lel

. Im glad I'm not the only one who struggles with eyes still

. Or maybe this artist did it right n I just don't know how to draw eyes- (very plausible tbh)

Man I love artists

---

All in all, Im not a fan of vol. 2 cover art but I can see why the artists did what they did

◇ . One of the most important things of commercial art is that its visually pleasing, regardless of design, lore, or even logic. The design choices are golden but putting them all together couldve been done better. Not that the art is ugly in any way. Its still gorgeous af, there just couldve been more balance or overall color synergy.

This is just my opinion anyways :D! No hate anywhere <33

#textpost #man im a fcking nerd LMAO #lcf #tcf #lout of the count’s family #lout of count’s family #trash of the counts family #trash of the count's family #cale henituse #choi han #art analysis #spoiler free #color analysis #design analysis #oh jeez what a hefty post #i love art man

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inanimateinsanityrsau · 2 months ago

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Ahem… Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3!!

Ok- there we go!

HELLO INTERNET! It’s Fan here- though I mean I’m sure you’ve heard of someone as- uh, as cool as me with being on the ever popular show Inanimate Insanity!

I’m here to talk to YOU guys!! It’s like, yknow, a fun little chatting place for me down in my hideout! And, well, I mean I’m sure you could ask my fellow contestants also!

I’ll catch up with you all later! But please go ahead and send any and all asks you’d like! It’s like my own special interview..!

Ok, ok, ok, bye now. Where’s the off button on this thi-

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

//Hello!! Mod Whippy Creamy here coming at you with a hit new askblog!!

I’ve had this AU idea in my head for a while, but I’m just now finally doing something with it.

It is a pretty standard roleswap AU, but just to clarify some things:

This is NOT a personality swap. Characters may differ in their personalities, but any changes to personality are done only so the character can plausibly fit the “role” they’ve been swapped into.

Only the contestants have swapped roles! Outside characters like Cobs and Meeple products such as Mephone4 and Mepad have also not changed roles.

[UPDATE: ASKS TEMPORARILY CLOSED!!] Currently, every season 1-2 contestant is open to asks! Roleswap list here

Mod information and Tagging key below the cut:

MOD WHIPPY CREAMY:

“Heya! Mod Whippy Creamy here. Once again. I’m the creator of this AU, but I have enlisted the help of my very talented friends to make this silly little askblog become a reality! I use any pronouns!!

I will do my best to include little doodles in every ask that I possibly can, at the least. If you’d like to check out my main blog, go look at @aricatastrophe! Have fun, and enjoy the ride ;)”

MOD SKETCHPAD:

“HIIIII ^_^ im mod sketchpad and youll NEVER KNOW WHO I AM HAHAHAHAHHAHAH anyway i use it/any pronounce and im here to vibe . ill probably be drawing a bit for funsies but we'll see ^_^ . peace out (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)"

MOD TELESCOPE:

“HEYY IT’S ME MOD TELESCOPE!! Any/all pronouns are good for me, ill include doodles whenever i can and more high quality art for important stuff :D my main blog’s @gillionspookstrider and i shall see you on the flipside!”

MOD JOURNAL:

“hiii!!! i'm mod journal. it/it's pronouns. i'm mostly just here to have fun!! my posts will all be text posts since i cannot draw at all LMAO !!! i'm so good at introducing myself”

MOD COMPASS:

"Hi there! I'm mod Compass and I use it/its and they/them pronouns! Not much to say about me except that I am here for fun and I will absolutely draw as many of my responses as time will allow >:D"

TAGS:

#iirs - general AU tag!

#iirs fanart - FANART TAG?! if you make fanart PLEASE tag us thatd be so so cool

#mod[name] - designating which mod made the post!

#ooc - For posts not talking in character

#inanimate insanity #ii #fan ii #Mod whippy creamy #iirs #ooc #ii au

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is-this-yuri · 7 months ago

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have you been doomscrolling? feeling awful about it? do you feel out of control? does it seem your autonomy has been swallowed by the ever present beast that is the internet?

we live in the most overwhelmingly stimulating age of humanity ever seen, and it's only getting worse. our brains are sponges, soaking up whatever we smear them across, and it seems more and more difficult to find a clean surface to rest on. i'm no expert or professional, but ive been born and raised into the internet, and i'd like to hand out some wisdom regarding this.

the main issue: brain poison

since the brain absorbs whatever it's exposed to, media consumption is unsurprisingly going to effect it. the type of media, the amount of media, and the frequency of the media all play a factor.

it's not the internet itself that's bad here. it's the media on the internet, and the platforms designed to suck in our attention and keep it there until we're rotting inside our skulls.

we're never going to escape the internet. it's just a fact of life now, and a tool that can be used for wonderful things. so how do we learn to live with the internet and take advantage of its potential?

treat it like a dietary balance

staying aware of what goes in your brain is just as important as being aware of what you're eating. if you eat carelessly, don't listen to how your body feels after you eat certain things, and ignore any sickness that might result from rotten food, you're going to have a bad time and wreck your guts. the same goes for the brain.

you want to have a good mix of various types of media in the right amounts, or approximately so. if things are feeling bland, maybe diversify. if things are feeling stupid, try something more intellectual. if it's feeling too much, cut back on all of it

the following are three things you can do to maintain a sense of control and awareness over your media diet. this isnt a step by step and is in no particular order, theyre just ideas to carry forward in general any time it could be helpful.

1. digest

this is the process of thinking about and remembering what youve done throughout your time on the internet. it could apply to any period of time. so you might think, 'man, i've done nothing but watch tiktok all day.' or 'i've been scrolling twitter a lot more this past week.'

i feel like most people already do this to some extent, but it manifests as a fleeting sense of anxiety or shame that doesn't lead anywhere. analyze that feeling, and ask if it's really true or helpful.

ask if your media consumption is making you feel less focused, distracted, putting you into a brain fog, making you fall asleep when you don't want to, making you irritable and angry, drawing you into arguments, keeping you awake at night, or upsetting/disrupting you in any way.

digestion also means appreciating the good stuff and recognizing the good feelings you get too. so also ask if it's enriching you, helping you learn something new, giving you a new perspective, exposing you to something beautiful, passing the time, relaxing you, honing your focus, or generally lifting your mood.

2. cut

cut certain types of content from your life once you've decided they're not good for your media diet. block people. move on. tell youtube to stop reccomending that channel. block them. unfollow people. unfollow tags. block the tags. blacklist things. do it. forget the awful things that make your brain hurty. click the block button. uninstall the app. you know you want to

consider removing yourself entirely from websites that are designed to be attention predators. if you consistently feel like youre 'stuck' on a site and cant leave, it's probably best to just delete your account and get out of there. tiktok is NOTORIOUS for this.

i also tend to keep my following or subscribed count low. keeping the stream of content short forces me to find other things to do with my time. this goes hand in hand with things like turning off infinite scroll. it provides an 'end point' where the repetitive action of scrolling down stops bearing fruit, breaking the doomscrolling cycle. the internet is almost an infinite place, and its up to you to build walls around yourself so you arent lost in it forever.

its also important to get off the internet in general sometimes. i know this is obvious, but literally touch grass on occasion. doing anything with your physical body away from the screen will be more enriching than sitting there scrolling for hours. whether it's just a 5 minute walk around your house to stretch your legs or a 6 hour hike every weekend, part of cutting media will mean replacing it with real life. looking at some plants, doing a pushup, or working on a knitting project can be like rinsing your brain sponge under some cold, clean water.

3. curate

the flip side of cutting is curating. you'll want to be looking for media that makes you happy and feels productive or meaningful in some way. anything that not only doesnt make you feel like you wasted your time, but specifically makes you feel like you spent your time well, is a green flag.

keep in mind entertainment just for entertainment's sake is good for you too. you don't have to be watching university lectures and tutorials and stuff all day. finding high quality entertainment, such as personalities you enjoy, good production values, and inventive ideas can be really difficult. find the people who dont make you feel like a cocomelon baby and stick with them. from there you should be able to find similar content.

what's good for your soul is going to depend very much on you as an individual. this is also going to be an ongoing process as not only you but the internet both change and evolve. the important thing about this step is that you Make Decisions about what to consume. even bad decisions! it's all part of the process, and it's all about reclaiming your autonomy.

4. eat your junk food

this isn't a military drill or an exact science. i'm just a guy on tumblr with an intimate connection to his own brain and a LOT of time on the internet. that's my only credential. sometimes i want to turn that brain off and just mindlessly consume without putting any thought into what dirty dishwater is soaking into my sponge. sometimes adhd brain wants me to watch a shitty B movie in recap form so i dont have to commit to a full movie. sometimes i get stuck in the youtube shorts for like 3 hours.

that's fine. the most important part of any kind of self care is that a little bit is better than nothing. even just being aware that youre consuming something bad for you and knowing you arent ready to stop just yet is better than nothing.

thats it!!

now you should be prepared to take back some control over your media consumption. be gentle with yourself and take your time. eventually this stuff will become second nature, and you'll be effortlessly digesting, curating, and cutting media like it's just part of your personality. remember YOU have control over what the internet thinks you want to see. dont let it force feed you nasty slop anymore. let it be a reflection of your mind, not the other way around.

and good luck!

#media consumption #doomscrolling #long post

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werothegreat · 1 month ago

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Azurite Sea

We're currently in the middle of a deluge of new cards, so what better time to stop and talk about the ones I didn't touch yet?

The only inkable card in the cycle of "when you ink" characters. Let's discuss him in tandem with:

More Amber Pooh Pirates! We've got a neat little curve here, and they all do something! Especially since we just got this bad boy

This is such a nutty card. Once you have enough ink you can just use this every turn. Oh you keep killing Pooh Pirate Piglet? He's back, baby. EVERY TURN. This is the card that is going to make an Amber/X Pirate deck WORK.

"Whenever one of your other characters is banished during an opponent's turn, gain 2 lore." Only triggering during an opponent's turn is quite a restriction, as you can't get immediate use out of him. Probably the best use for him is going to be as anti-Be Prepared tech. You have to get rid of Hades first, otherwise you're going to be giving your opponent a bunch of lore.

A Fairy lord! This card makes a Fairy kindred deck work. I imagine she'll be best in Amethyst/Steel, so you can use Giant Fairy.

Weeeeeeee more ways for Amethyst to gain lore without interaction. Guess we'll have to discard their hand for them because they can use this.

"Whenever you play a song, you may move 2 damage from a character to an opposing character." Not too bad! Since she triggers off songs, you can get immediate use out of her if you have someone to sing in play. She'll play well with the self-damaging Smee.

This is just an entirely different way to play the game. I have no idea how to even process this. However, if you have a Light on her Hooves in play, you can choose to have Genie trigger first, so you draw a bunch at the end of your turn.

Strictly better Freeze. This will see play.

"When you shift her, return all exerted characters to their players' hand." That's a pretty dope effect, really punishing an aggro deck.

Not sure how to feel about this one. Having Ward means he's very likely to survive, and we need more ink sinks, but the whole "damage to a damaged character" thing Emerald keeps trying to do just doesn't work outside of a pairing with Steel. If you see this across the table, you just don't leave an exerted character out while he's on the field.

"Ward, when he quests give another character Ward until your next turn." This seems very very good. Being able to quest for 3 and baton pass Ward to someone otherwise vulnerable will make a lot of decks actually work. Beast Relentless, anyone?

False flag sheep! "During your turn when you ink, give an opposing character Reckless until your next turn." Not the worst thing!

I like it! Gives you time to find an answer to a high lore quester, and turns off characters that do stuff when they quest. Not as good as full Reckless, but still nice.

Superb. Sure, she dies to Brawl, but in the deck that plays her you'll have other targets for that.

This makes the Pirate deck work. I'm making an Amber/Ruby Pirate deck. I'm doing it. A 2/2 2 lore evasive????? Sign me up.

"When he quests, you may deal 1 damage to one of your other characters to ready them. They can't quest this turn." PIRATES PIRATES PIRATES

Turn 1: Aladdin Turn 2: Aladdin Turn 3: Aladdin Turn 4: Aladdin Turn 5: Shift Heroic Outlaw Ruby/Steel oops all Aladdins! He's also just good in general, a smaller version of Cri-Kee.

"Rush, Evasive". I think this is good? There are very few Evasive characters with more than 5 willpower, and none of them see play. The main drawback is how late he comes out.

I have no idea how to feel about this card. This is either going to suck ass, or it's going to be the most broken thing in the Azurite Sea meta.

"When you play him, you may deal 2 damage to one of your characters to deal 2 damage to an another character." This seems... good? He's a 3 lore quester that's immune to Madame Medusa (assuming no Ice Block) that also deals damage when he enters. I think he'll see play.

This is going in every Ruby/Sapphire deck, 4 copies.

Will this see more play than Ariel Whoseit Collector? Maybe, at least she's inkable.

"While you have an item in play, he can't be challenged." Seems... fine? He only quests for 1, though, and dies to basically anything else.

Who wants to use their Lucky Dime twice in one turn?

"When he quests, you may draw a card. Then discard a card to deal 1 damage to a character or location. If you discarded a Pirate, deal 3 damage instead." Very strong effect, especially in a Pirate deck, he's just very very expensive. And uninkable. And does nothing when he's played. Big threat that will need to be answered, but there's a lot of answers out there.

"Characters with 2 strength or more can't challenge him." Thematically appropriate. Probably not playable in a meta that doesn't really care about challenges.

Dope as hell. I want a playset.

We're at the Finish Line! Translation: "When you move a character here from another location, you may banish this, to gain 3 lore and draw 3 cards." What a Timmy card, and I know people are going to build around this. I know I will! Also very first super rare location!

There are lots more but I'm out of images on this post!

#lorcana #azurite sea #treasure planet #aladdin #zootopia

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gastersreturn · 2 months ago

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YOU HAVE FOUND HIM

by : tinybrainboy READ IT ON : ComicFury - DeviantArt

┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓

GASTER'S RETURN MASTERPOST

┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛

PROLOGUE

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28

CHAPTER 1

1/5- 6/10 - 11/15

-----------------------------

GASTER'S RETURN - FAQ

What is the plot ?

Everything is in the title, it's a story about Gaster returning from wherever he was after his accident that broke him between time and space. This story is set after the Pacifist ending, months after monsters have been freed from the Underground

What are the main themes of this story ?

I would say it's main focus is about letting go, like the original game in a way

Is it an AU (Alternative Universe ?) ? And how close it is from Undertale ?

Yep, it is. I want to keep it as close of the canon as possible, to make the characters and universe as authentic as possible in order to really tell a story based on the game. But it won't be exactly the same as the canon.

Several details change in this story and this is why I call it a "AU", the main ones being :

Gaster : My interpretation of Gaster resemble a lot the general interpretation of the fandom about him, but not completely. It will be fun to play with what you know, or what you think you know about him :)

Sans and Papyrus's origins : In the original game, I strongly think that Sans and Papyrus don't come from Undertale, but from Deltarune (I won't elaborate more on that subject, you can make your own researches on this theory if you're interested), however it's not the case in this AU. Sans and Papyrus really come from the Undertale universe. It will change their characters, especially Sans, but I'll do my best to show them accurately (at least more accurately than the general fandom's representation of them)

Frisk : Frisk's personality have been imagined and adapted to this story. I wanted Frisk to be like a fusion of their actual personality in the game (because, yes, they have one even if it's really subtle) and the one of the player. So, you get it, the player in itself isn't really a thing in this universe

How did you get the idea of making this AU ?

At the very beginning, I just started to make some random drawings of Gaster, and some KingDings (AsgorexGaster) sketches, then other Gaster related things, and a story began to form into my mind. I decided that I wanted to make something out of it.

So does that mean there will there be KingDings in this AU ?

Well, not really. the main focus of this story won't be romance. At this point of their lives, neither of them are ready for a relationship (if I want it to be healthy). I have thought about making a KingDings mini serie after the main one to develop their relationship, but I don't know if I really will, I didn't even wrote anything for it yet.

When will the next pages come out ?

I try to make approximatively 5 pages every two weeks (I have another Undertale so I'm working on one and the other every week)

How long is this going to take to complete the story ?

Long as hell, I have written a prologue and 3 chapters to finish the story, wish me luck

Am I allowed to make a dub of the comic ?

I honestly don't know if anyone would ever want to make one, but if you do, sure you can ! (as long that you credit me of course)

You are also allowed to make fanarts, or any fanwork based on this AU, again I'm not sure if anyone would, but just in case x)

Am I allowed to repost this AU somewhere else ? Or to make a translation ?

Mmmh….I would allow it, but I want to be informed of it before you do. DM me to ask me, and if you see someone else than me reposting it somewhere, please tell me ^^

The only places I post this AU in here and on ComicFury, anywhere else isn't me

I have other questions !!!

Then you can ask them ! I will answers the ones who are interesting/doesn't require me to spoil my own story

------------------------------

WILL YOU KEEP SEARCHING ?

#gaster's return #undertale #undertale fandom #alternate universe #undertale au #ut au #utdr #au undertale #gaster #undertale gaster #wd gaster #gaster undertale #masterpost

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spaceorphan18 · 4 months ago

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The Lady Whistledown Papers : 1x03 - Art of the Swoon

Welcome back, Gentle Readers, to The Lady Whistledown Papers, where I’m taking an in-depth look at Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton’s character arcs and romance within the show Bridgerton!

For previous issues, follow tag : The Lady Whistledown Papers

So... are you guys excited for this one? Because there's so much I can't even contain myself. No, I'm kidding. This episode might win for most boring Polin episode, and yes, I'm including 2x01, which doesn't even have Colin in it.

Letters

We open with Pen looking very anxiously out a window. What is she looking at? Is it Colin? Are the Bridgertons being bold in broad daylight again?? No, she's just waiting for the mail.

She is super cute when she finds there aren't any letters for Marina and she throws her little hands up in the air exasperated.

Marina is growing depressed waiting to hear from her love, George. But Penelope is full of hope and optimism. She is so into what's going on with Marina. The romantic in her is thrilled with all this letter writing (hmmm, wonder if that'll come back) and she's encouraging Marina not to give up hope.

She is so smiley and engaged while talking to Marina. This is a real, live love story happening in front of her, that she gets to engage with, and she gets to help out with. It's fun for her, being on the outside of it, like reading one of her stories.

And, I mean, the fact that Colin is one of Marina's suitors just isn't even a factor yet. Pen genuinely cares for Marina, and cares for wanting this love story to play out into a happily ever after.

The romanticism really becomes apparent when she suggests that maybe the reason George isn't writing is that he's on his way back to her that very moment. It's sweet, and a little naive, but Pen really just wants Marina to be happy and in love. Just like Pen wants it for herself. But Pen saves only her cynicism for herself.

Portia barges in right then and scolds her for spending time with Marina. The way Nicola Coughlan stomps her foot and throws a tantrum like a child is really quite brilliant. It adds to the fact that Season 1 Penelope is very much still a child in a lot of ways.

Drawing Room

Colin is looking for food -- take a shot!

Okay, so this shot is really kind of cool when you look at it. And I mean, indulge me, there's barely any Colin in this episode...

I love the blocking of it, as you can see so much characterization of the family just from this single shot. Daphne is sitting tall and really center, as she is the main character. Violet is in her 'mother' chair doing sewing. Anthony is off to the side, reading the paper, drinking tea, being very much a father-ish figure. Benedict, seated low, carefree and more irresponsible than his somewhat more serious-minded brother. Eloise is there, reading indignantly. Hyacinth and Gregory are on the floor playing, much like Pen was in the first episode, signifying their youth and childishness.

And then there's Colin. Just... kind of there. Because it's a family scene. A blank slate ready to be written on. He's watching his younger siblings, but not really there with them anymore. But he's not yet fully in the adult world of Anthony, Benedict, or Daphne.

But it's interesting (and important?) that he's sitting next to Violet here. Because while Colin doesn't say a thing here, Violet's words Daphne are incredibly important. She tells Daphne that it's integral that she should marry her dearest friend. And that love is simple when you're in love with your dearest friend. And Colin is sitting right there! The message is one that I'm sure Violet hammers into her children all the time, though Colin is definitely going to be one to internalize it pretty deeply.

The Prince

[Just an aside, the scene where Daphne snorts at the prince and where Daphne and Anthony have no idea how to heat up milk are really two nice moments in this episode.]

Just Portia Featherington whoring out her daughters to the Prince, and little Penelope falling behind and getting pushed out because who would take her seriously as a contender? But there's Lady Whistledown gossip narrating this moment, and while it's mostly expositional, it's also telling that while Pen can't be front and center, she's still very there and aware.

Somerset House

Just in case you were wondering - Colin is in this scene! Being amused that Violet is trying to get Anthony to find a wife.

I love that he and Benedict have a good laugh over it (I have a mind to think that Colin and Benedict are always having a laugh about Anthony) -- until Violet literally pushes them out into society as well.

Hey, they cut from Colin over to Penelope. Cute.

So, I'm always happy when we get a scene where Eloise and Penelope seem to be on the same page. And this small moment of them looking at the art, critiquing it in a modern way, is super fun. They do both share the viewpoint that women should be more than the objects men think of them as. And they laugh about it here, but it's really quite profound.

Pen's attention strays, though, when Marina calls out for her help.

Portia is trying to set Marina up with some old bachelor, and Penelope swoops in to interrupt. See, and that's the thing. Penelope does have a big heart. She loves love and she wants Marina to be happy with George, and not stuck marrying some old guy where love wouldn't bloom. So she intervenes. And of course, Portia tries to push back against her. Penelope doesn't have much power (as herself) but just the act of cutting in is enough to disrupt the encounter.

Portia calls Penelope a 'meddlesome little wench'. Which is really quite horrible of a mother to call her daughter. But I will say there's truth the the meddlesome part. She does like to be meddlesome, and even the LW persona speaks to that.

Some time later, Cressida is going to fake a swoon so the Prince can catch her. And look who has a front row seat to that. I love that Eloise is like - wtf, while Penelope is openly laughing at her. Should note that this won't be the only time Cressida pulls this kind of stunt.

Letters II

Twenty minutes of screen time later, and Penelope's still waiting by the window, staving off suitors as she waits for her husband to come back from going to war and being lost at sea...

No. Sorry. That's the plot of The Odyssey. We will be coming back to that, though...

Penelope's still waiting for letters to bring up to Marina, but her enthusiasm waning.

She's so excited when she sees the letter from George!

Which makes me wonder - does she always intercept the mail? I love that the servants mostly do not care. Also, no one knows she's writing to Colin between seasons, so she must be diligent about mail time.

She is so ready to hear what George has written to Marina. It makes me wonder - has Marina let Pen read all her letters? Or has Marina only shared what was in them? And did Pen help Marina write him back? It's clear that Pen's living a little vicariously through Marina in this moment. And it's just as devastating to her when they find out that George (seemingly) has rejected Marina.

This is really a key moment in that it sets up Marina's trajectory for the rest of the season. Her heartbreak and her fear (enhanced because earlier in the episode - Portia threatened Marina with living like a beggar on the streets) are what lead her to do what she feels is best and safest for her future.

But Penelope is just confused. This is not how romance stories work. He isn't supposed to reject her. He's supposed to come rescue her and her child and they all live happily ever after. It's like she can't quite comprehend what is going on.

Of course, we learn next that this is a fake letter brought on by Portia (and Varley) ever the villain.

The Diamond

Back in the main plot, Daphne is bringing her a-game hotness as a way to get back at Simon for being a jerk. And... once again, Penelope has a front row seat to it. It's interesting how she manages to get into frame a bunch of times, to show that she is aware and paying attention to what's going on.

It is kind of funny that the LW narration kicks into gear, having lots of critiques over Daphne and Simon's love story -- when Penelope, never even speaks of it as herself. I'll have to keep notice as to whether or not Penelope ever brings up Daphne or Simon as herself.

This moment I find a little interesting though. Everyone's attention is on Daphne and the Prince, but Penelope is watching Simon. It's another love story that Pen doesn't quite understand. They seemed so together just a short while ago, and not a sudden shift in events. And Pen is once again perplexed by love and all its confounding complexities.

Alright, on to more interesting things -- the next episode actually has a Polin scene in it. A thing rarer in this season than actual diamonds. (Maybe, idk. I'm not really counting.) ;)

#bridgerton #polin #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #penelope bridgerton #colin x penelope #polination #the lady whistledown papers

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horizon-verizon · 4 months ago

Note

It sounds bad but I can understand Aemond's frustration with Helaena to an extent. Her dragon is the second oldest the Targaryens have and there's even a deleted line from Season 1 where Aemond complains that Helaena "never bothers" with her dragon. And Helaena's just so inconsistent about just how aware she is of what's going on around her, I don't think it would be unfair to think that maybe she does know what's going on, and how much danger they're in. In which case, the fact that Helaena didn't flee or protest would mean she chose that faction and is now sitting on their second best weapon that also happens to make the opposing faction see them as more of a threat and somewhat motivate them to come at them with more force.

Or maybe the writing is bad. I don't know.

Aemond's perspective on dragons and their connection to them is a very limited one. He may be seemingly clever or even wise to some ("philosophies", being able to speak high Vlayrian in contrast to Aegon's terrible use of it", his eagerness to strategize), but his idea of dragonriding is too battle-and-war-centered. He doesn't seem to value Vhagar past her experience and size and use for battle, I'm saying. Even Aegon shows his love for Sunfyre...even it's immediately before going out to try to "prove" himself to anyone. They both appear to only draw strength from their dragon "ennobling" their right to rule or be "important" within this patriarchal Targness war-making that validates them as kings or rulers.

Therefore, it's very possible (bc of bad writing we don't have context for why or why Aemond doesn't observe/put much stock or deep thought into any observations he has of his siblings in other settings to make a definitive conclusion of that based on the "text" of the show) for how Aemond does/doesn't think of why Helaena might be so "subdued" or why it appears she makes "less" use of Dreamfyre or doesn't "prepare" her for war...at least in recent time. And for Aemond, for years Alicent & perhaps Otto have imparted to him and his siblings that they all had to remove Rhaenyra from the heirship/throne, even to survive. A false notion, btw, but one nonetheless Alicent told them for years presumably since early childhood, so yeah, Aemond grew up thinking of dragons as their main line of defense and offense. thus dragon are more war machines to him.

So to both young!Aemond and now!Aemond, "bothering" with a dragon has to do with actively flying them and thinking of them as animals put to a sort of contracted "use". Perhaps just the flying of the dragons is construed by young!Aemond and now!Aemond as "preparing them & yourself" for war. I think that there appears an idea that Helaena--thru her magic in the show--is the most "in tune" with her dragon than anyone on her side of the family. So she absolutely "bothers" with Dreamfyre.

If this were a better written show, we'd see season 1!Aemond also seemingly make as if Helaena doing this is bc women are not expected to battle or that she is "weak"....which contradicts what he expects of her now in season 2/3. That'd be a great depiction of the double standards of sexism the show could have used. (That was a digression, but an important one I think.)

The other thing is that Helaena never asked to be Queen or to have her kid murdered after AEMOND chased & killed Luke and the blacks seemingly retaliated and tried to get at Aemond. (Of course, this is me just taking the show at the moment and at face value and being diegetic bc that's what you seem to ask for). She never usurped Rhaenyra and put their entire family in danger in the first place. Or "distracted" Criston Cole from his post.

That Aemond is demanding that she now go into war:

with no battle experience whatsoever, not even any military training or swordsmanship

when she can barely walk around the Keep without being too overstimulated and is pretty unequipped to also handle war even when flying above it

on a dragon who also has no battle experience whatsoever to possibly deprive her only child of a mother--a girl her father ignored and her grandmother might also ignore with her track record (yes I say this even as we saw Alicent in the leaks say she would take Helaena and Jaehaera away, Helaena: doesn't know of that; has little real reason to trust Alicent after what happened to Jaehaerys; when she made her marry Aegon; and they never were close anyway)

Now he demands that she put her life on the line for something she has no belief in and never had any room to decide on or give input on? when no one cared about her or her kids' thoughts about the whole thing? When Alicent, Aegon, this entire institution has used her body for their own ends? Aemond is entitled to her body and her dragon--the one other thing that she maybe loves above all else besides her bugs and children, a dragon that maybe keeps her settled with herself at heir cramped and oppressive home as much as other Targ women's dragons did for them & be ways/reminders of freedom and personal strength?

Nah.

Helaena does know...but why should she feel obligated to fight when she is not responsible or did really anything to make the blacks seek out their deaths? no, she didn't "choose" the greens' side even if people argue that she could have fled the Keep with her kids to Rhaenyra. She likely stayed for the same reasons as other women and girls stayed with those who mistreat them--it's pretty much all they know.

However, bad writing also has something here, as we don't know the full extent of Helaena's limits, which could have been revealed if they had taken their time and given us the greens/blacks lives in their respective homes at different times to explore these characters and their relationships...it's also possible that she can't fly Dreamfyre for long, esp with two other kids with her...Dragonstone to KL and vice versa is pretty far even for a dragonride.

EDIT *8/5/24*

I forgot how Helaena, to challenge him abt the consequences if she were to go against his will and say no again, pts out Aemond tried to Kill Aegon already when he asks her again to fly out with him. So, again, she owes him nothing when he'd so easily think of killing herAS WELL AS AND IN CONTEXT OF all the above in this post.

Also, even if we argued for her complicity in the usurpation, it doesn't mean that this would erase the compulsion to stay having no where else to expect to stay and survive on her own.

END OF EDIT

#asoiaf asks to me #aemond's characterization #hotd characterization #helaena targaryen #helaena's characterization #helaena and aemond #hotd leaks #hotd s2 epi8 #asoiaf dragons #hotd writing #hotd critical #asoiaf #hotd

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rikeijo · 5 months ago

Text

Yuri!!! on stage pamphlet, Kubo Mitsurou - Character comments

Katsuki Yuuri

The character of Katsuki Yuuri, previously still vague, solidified in the scene in episode 4 when he touches Victor's hair whorl. That scene is also one, where I managed to express an idea I've had in my head for a very long time - I wanted to show something like a moment not connected to the main story, when their relationship changes, but not in a logical way. The same thing can be said about the scene in the last episode when, even though Victor is crying, Yuuri pushes aside his fringe and says "So you cry too!" - Yuuri has this very primal (原始的) characteristic of putting his own curiosity first before feelings of the other person, that's a desire he can't suppress. I think it was our intention to use this characteristic to make the viewers expect that he is surely going to act in a way they cannot predict. Throughout the series, Yuuri's character was shaped by misleading the audience to think they know Yuuri's personality and then showing them in each episode that they were not right about him. That's why the character turned out to be much more complex that we thought he would be in the first episode and I think the viewers can sense that the creators had a lot of fun writing him. We sometimes say that the characters are acting on their own, but in this case I think we were writing the character while being bossed around by him.

Victor Nikiforov

Just as it was with Yuuri, I couldn't fully grasp Victor's personality in episode 1, and so his character also solidified over time as I was writing the show. Beginning with the scene in episode 4 when he told Yuuri "I'm not going to hold back" during their conversation on the beach, and then when he was "really hurt" after Yuuri touched his hair whorl, little by little the underlying kindness Victor possesses started to show up more, as even though he had no idea what Yuuri was really thinking, he wanted to get to know Yuuri better and Yuuri to get to know him better too. Actually, I also thought the fact that even staff members couldn't fully comprehend Victor's actions made him all the more charming. Because his actions were impossible to comprehend, the audience too has been watching the show without being able to form any strong assumptions about him and the sense of insecurity you've been getting while watching him was probably also a sign that you started to like the character... I've created Victor by trying my best to draw a cool and beautiful human being. I don't think however, that he could ever be mine. Yuuri also feels this way, but in Yuuri's case he was able to form a very strong connection with Victor thanks to skating. I was writing the show while thinking that I'd like the audience to enjoy the feeling that in every episode, together with Yuuri, they too get to meet Victor they've never seen before, as the relationship between Yuuri and Victor is forming - relationship that was only possible because Yuuri had skating as an excuse [免罪符, it means something like "get-out-of-jail-free card" - funny word choice, but Mitsurou really pushes here the idea that Victor was way out of Yuuri's league. ]

Yuri Plisetsky

In case of Yurio, his character as well as character design were very clear from the very beginning. He was very easy to write. He is my favorite type of character and based on my experience I was sure he's going to be popular. He is the type of a side character, who can outshine even the main character in terms of popularity, so I was careful not to make him "angsty" by e.g. giving him a tragic past or making him have a difficult family situation. With Yurio I didn't want his character to be someone who gets popular because people feel sorry for him, so I gave him family and coaches, as well as new friends, and wanted to show his strength by making him achieve even greater success while being in a relatively good place emotionally. I think I've managed to use the basic manga trope of writing about a strength of found family instead of real family without focusing on the tragic aspects of this trope.

Christophe Giacometti

Chris was born as an ultra sexy character, a character who is very aware of his "eros" and at the same time has the strength to not care when other people stare at him. I decided on the visual side of the character first - I gave him those curled and long, stunningly beautiful eyelashes because I wanted the audience to think: "How grateful we are that such a beautiful skater exists in this world at the same time as Victor!". I also wanted to show the gap between his super cute look with curly hair when he was a child and his present look and suggest that a lot of growing up happened there. While I was writing him, or I should say it was more thanks to the choreography and music we created, the charm that was radiating from him was neither masculine nor feminine, but simply Chris' charm. I personally wanted to make him a "skater who looks good naked" and was having great fun writing him.

Phichit Chulanont

With Phichit, I was aiming to create a pure and energetic person. I've actually heard Thai artists active abroad saying that they want to show everyone the new face of Thailand and also that there are certain aspects of Thailand they were only able to see after they went abroad. So, I felt that young Thai people right now are really making a lot of effort to reconstruct themselves, so I wanted to make Phichit a person who has the spirit to create new things. With the fashion he wears, I was aiming for something Harajuku-like.

Ji Guang-Hong

I've come up with this idea of a Chinese competitor, young but with good skills, as a counterbalance to the great number of overwhelmingly strong competitors who appear in the show. I wanted to make him a character who shows all the signs of becoming terribly good in the future if he continues to gain more self-confidence and experience. When it comes to his personality I was imagining him following the latest trends, like all the modern kids do, or maybe traveling to the USA off-season to train at the same rink with Leo, for example. I intentionally didn't make him really stand-out, because I think he is still at a stage before he can bring out his individual personality.

Jean-Jacques Leroy

Before we even started to think about the story, I effortlessly came up with lines like "JJ won't give up! He can't give up!", so JJ is the character who has already been well-defined even before he was created. We placed a very rough order for his song: a song which feels like it was written by somebody who could win a Grammy. The request we've made for the lyrics too wasn't all that specific but the finished lyrics were well... absolutely amazing! I wanted to make JJ into a character who would make the spectators sing that song while he skates his short program. He is too egoistic, so other competitors who can't get along well with him, simply can't get along well with him, period. He isn't the type who can become friends with everyone. However, he doesn't really care. I wouldn't say that he for sure isn't hurt at all by this though, if you look deep inside, but one of the incredible things about him is that he doesn't let it show on the outside.

Georgi Popovich

We aimed to express different kinds of love and here is the type of competitor who puts all the emotions he's experiencing after he broke up with his lover into his performance. I was thinking that maybe in a country like Russia nobody would have a problem with him doing something like that and so I gave him this kind of artistry, different than the artistry Victor has. And again, also compared to Leo, he's a different type of artist. Georgi is very serious about practice and listens to what his coach says too diligently. But I think he loves himself the most, more than anyone else. He is a narcissist, so he loves his lovers very much too, because they love him. I think that's why he reacts with this "I am the one who can protect you!" thing after he gets dumped. The ability to transform all these feelings into a performance is his strong point.

Nishigori Takeshi

Nishigori was created because I wanted to introduce a point of view of somebody who has gave up on skating. He is also a childhood friend of Yuuri and somebody, who has been watching him from a very close distance - so he's a character with a quite complex setting. He is the only married man [in the show] so I wanted him to be masculine and not somebody who fret over things a lot. I also was thinking that the reason why Yuuri didn't want to go back to his home town for such a very long time, is because of Nishigori and Yuuko. When it comes to Nishigori and Yuuko's relationship, I think Yuuko is the one who started it. She didn't confess her feelings directly but I think it was probably very clear that she likes Nishigori. Because men from Kyushu don't go after a girl who they know they don't have a chance with. They never try to reach a "flower that grows high on a mountain top [an idiom representing a unattainable goal] (laugh).

Leo de la Iglesia

Leo, who was looking up to Victor, is the only competitor who choreographs his programs by himself. He wants to leave no doubt that he is self-producing his programs - he wants to skate his own choreography to the songs he likes to truly bring out his own charm. When it comes to figure skating in the USA, there is a lot of strong competitors in different parts of the country and so there are also skaters of different races. I think there is that conviction that to be able to show your own strengths in these conditions, the most important thing is to express the "I'll be saved by the things I love" core part of you. Leo can't for example jump quadruple jumps yet, but instead he wants to find his other strong points and show them - I wanted him to be a strong person in this way.

Minami Kenjiro

A skater who just made his senior debut, Minami-kun, was created because, just like Yuuri looks up to Victor, I wanted other Japanese skater to look up to Yuuri and Yuuri to be aware that there is somebody who looks up to him. Yuuri had a very bad start at Nationals, so Minami has already won with him once, but I thought I wanted another active competitor to tell Yuuri that he wants Yuuri to continue skating. And so I gave him this pure personality, the kind that Yuuri doesn't possess, so he can yell "I will definitely win with you!". Because of that, he became a character like a classic shonen manga protagonist. And because he has the vibe of anime protagonist I also gave him a matching haircut. I created him feeling that "If Yuri!!! was a shonen manga Minami would definitely be the protagonist".

Otabek Altin

He is a stoic, rugged and serious skater. A type of man who doesn't go to gatherings with other skaters. He left his family and was moving from country to country throughout the course of his training, so he had to wait a long time for a breakthrough. While training, separately from skating, he was also making friends among local musicians, so he has a lot of companions, who are important to him not only in Kazakhstan. He is the type of person who you can trust. He doesn't talk much and doesn't use social media much. But somehow you feel that he can for sure make a lot of progress. He also has this idea to do things that other people don't do. That's why I think that [since he started till the moment we meet him in the show] he's been treating skating very seriously. Otabek is more of a warrior or a soldier than an artist. I see him as this kind of person, who respects competitors who aren't on a level playing field with him and he treats them like comrades-in-arms. That's why, after he met with Yurio at a summer camp and saw his strength, he decided to find his own style of fighting, other than ballet, and he never forgot Yurio, who also had a soldier-like dream.

Michele Crispino

I think Michele loves his sister too much and that's why he doesn't really want to change. He has the skills and skates very good. That's why he managed to get to the GPF and is a very strong competitor, but there's also something missing there and he can't really break through. I wanted to show that his love is of a different kind than the rest of the cast's. I think the kind of love he has for Sara is a little bit different than familial love, but well I think that in his mind Sara is the only person he can trust. But Sara herself thinks she needs to change. I wanted to highlight this change by making Michele a tough/traditionally masculine guy. I was thinking that I want him to use the emotions he has because of his sister to have the break through even if these emotions are not necessarily positive. It was fun writing him.

Lee Seung Gil

SeungGil says pretty harsh things and has the most athlete-like mind of all the skaters. The pressure he is under is huge so, as the real athlete he is, to protect himself from being influenced by this pressure, he doesn't do any fan-service. I think that he is simply a stoic competitor, but because during interviews he says things like: "Is it really necessary for me to answer questions like that?", people misunderstand him and tease him for being cold. The story that I was thinking about for him is that he competes with this stoic attitude, but he knows that if he doesn't become more expressive, he can't win, so he chose a song and costume with an element of surprise. I think this gap is where his charm is. I think he, in his everyday life, isn't interested in things other than skating and usually wears clothes his mum bought for him, or jersey.

Emil Nekola

There are a lot of characters who stand out, so I wanted to design one, who doesn't, and instead simply has a sunny disposition and is like a younger brother or the kid in a group. Skaters from Czech Republic are popular so I thought that it will be a good match to his personality if I make him Czech. The image I have for him is that he is friends with Michele and is the kindest person among European skaters. I was thinking to make him "a big guy who you can depend on". He is very good at physical activities, so I think if, in addition to skating, if he decided to do snowboarding or extreme sports he would be pretty good at them too. He himself isn't really fixated on skating and has a lot of other things he likes to do. But right know he is focusing on skating. That's why, unlike Michele who is like: "Skating is the only thing I have in my life", Emil has a very good way of dealing with the pressure - he is a clever guy.

Closing comments

The things to enjoy while binge watching all episodes

At the end of ep 10, it was revealed that Yuuri at the banquet actually asked Victor to be his coach. If you re-watch the show from ep 1, while having this in mind, the relationship between Yuuri and Victor will surely appear very different. In the beginning of ep 1, when Victor ask Yuuri "Do you want a commemorative photo?", to him Yuuri wasn't someone who really stood out from the crowd. But then, he watched the video of Yuuri skating a perfect copy of his "Stammi Vicino" program, while having some prior knowledge of Yuuri from the "be my coach accident" at the banquet. And as the story goes, because of that Victor's got certain ideas and decided to travel to Japan. If we look at the events from Victor's perspective, it must have been very weird for him, because Yuuri himself asked him to come, but after he came Yuuri met him with this "Why are you here…?" reaction. I think you should be able to enjoy the story even more, if you change the perceptive you watch the show from when you re-watch all 12 episodes at once.

To fans…

I think without both the fans who were supporting us and the staff members who participated in production, we wouldn't be here today. I can't thank you all in person, but we are thinking of doing something, so you can enjoy the world of Yuri!!! even more, as a thank-you gift. I'm looking forward to your continuous support of Yuri!!! on ice.

#yuri on ice #yoi_full translation #tr_kubo mitsurou

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canirove · 8 months ago

Text

In The Name of Love | Chapter 32

Auhor's note: Two things. 1: Only three chapters (two + epilogue) left! 😱 And 2... I'm sorry 🫣

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"I don't know who has eaten more candy, me or the kids" Emma says.

"I think it's a draw" I chuckle.

"You could have also eaten some, you know? Some sugar will do you good, cheer you up."

"I'm fine, Emma."

"No, you aren't. You don't need any make up to look dead, you've been leaving in a constant Halloween for the past weeks."

"Wow, thank you" I laugh.

"Val, I'm sorry if it sounds mean, but I'm worried about you. Are you sure you are ok?"

"I'm fine" I repeat. But I'm not.

Since the game against Manchester United, things haven't improved. At the stadium no one has bothered me again, probably because Dani did talk with someone. And at the school people don't gossip about me anymore. But online…

Online the mole has kept sharing photos and things about me, the haters loving it, their mean comments getting worse and worse. And nothing seems to be stopping them, not even Pedri giving an interview and calling them out for their behaviour.

"You are such a bad liar, Val…" Emma says. "And that's why you are having lunch with me and my family today."

"What?"

"Yep. You need to have a proper meal, and if there is someone who can give you that, that's my mum. So c'mon" she says, linking her arm with mine and starting to walk.

"Emma, I don't want to bother your family."

"You won't be bothering anyone. They haven't seen you in ages, they are looking forward to it."

"Shouldn't we get rid of this make up, first? I don't know how they will feel if we show up looking like skeletons."

"Stop inventing excuses and let's go" she says, dragging me outside the school.

"Bye, Miss Valeria! Happy Halloween!"

"Happy Halloween" I smile to some of the kids waiting for their parents. And when we cross the main gate…

"Cougar bitch!" someone yells.

"What the… Val!" Emma says. "Oh my God, Val. Are you ok?"

"I… I…" I mumble. I'm covered on something sticky. Something sticky that stinks and…

"Val, hey. Val!"

"I… I…"

"What the fuck are you doing, people?" I hear Emma say. "Stop taking photos! Show some respect!"

"Emma…" I whisper.

"It's ok, come" she says, putting an arm around my shoulders and making me walk.

"Girls! What happened?" Luis says, running towards us.

"Some teenagers threw eggs and god knows what else at Val when we were leaving."

"What?"

"Emma… Emma, I don't feel ok" I manage to say.

"Don't worry, Val. You are safe now" Luis says, helping me walk. "We'll go inside and help you get cleaned."

"I… I can't… I can't breathe."

"Val… Val, hey… Val!" Emma says, her voice being the last thing I hear before everything turns black.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Hello, beautiful."

"Pedri?" I say, slowly opening my eyes. "What… Where am I?"

"The hospital."

"What?"

"Woah, careful" he says when I try to get up from the bed. "You can't do that."

"Why? What… what happened?" I ask, my eyes still trying to adjust to how bright the light in the room is.

"You fainted at the school. Don't you remember?"

"I… I think…" The teenagers. Whatever they threw at me. Luis and Emma. "Fuck."

"I'll take that as you remembering" he chuckles.

"How did I end here, tho?"

"After you fainted you weren't waking up, Emma got scared and called an ambulance. They ran some tests and turns out that everything in you is low. Your iron levels, the vitamins, other things I have no idea what they are… They were lucky they caught you when they did, you know? This could have been serious."

"I… I…"

"You haven't been taken care of yourself, Val. And I…" Pedri says, running his hands through his hair. "I knew there was something going on. I could see it. But I'm stupid and…"

"Pedri, hey. Hey" I say, taking one of his hands on mine. "It isn't your fault."

"Isn't it?" he laughs. Though it is a sad laugh, one that makes my heart sink. "I knew you were struggling and I did nothing to stop it. To help you."

"Because I didn't let you. You, or Emma, or Silvia. You know how stubborn I am, it is all my fault."

"No, Val. This is…"

"Valeria!" my mother says, storming into the room. "Oh, Valeria, my poor child."

"Mum?"

"How are you, Val? When they told me they had taken you to the hospital I feared the worst."

"I… I'm fine" I say, trying to process this outburst of motherly love. "I just haven't been eating well and resting and…"

"And it is all his fault!" she says, looking at Pedri.

"Mum…"

"It is! He is the one to blame, the one who has pushed you to this, to almost dying!"

"Mum, that's not true."

"Have you seen yourself, Val? You are too thin, and the bags under your eyes reach the floor. And do you know why? Because of him. It is all because of him!" she says, pointing at Pedri. "Love should not have you looking like this!"

"She's right, Val" he says, his eyes focused on his hands.

"Of course I am!" my mum says, raising her voice more and more. "Get out of here!"

"What? No!" I complian.

"Get out of here, Pedro! I don't want to see you near my daughter ever again!"

"Mum, stop!"

"I said get out!"

"I… I'm sorry" he says, getting up from his chair and starting to walk away.

"No! Pedri, don't go!"

"Out!" my mum roars again.

"No! Pedri!" I say, trying to get up from the bed but only managing to get tangled with the sheets.

"He has to go, Val. This is all his fault."

"No! No, no, no. Pedri!" I yell, trying to free myself from my mum's grip.

"Is everything ok?" a nurse says, walking into the room. "Why is she screaming?"

"She needs to calm down. Can you give her something?"

"I don't want to calm down, mum! I want him! Pedri!" I yell again.

"I'm gonna call a doctor" the nurse says before leaving.

"I want him, mum" I cry. "I love him."

"I know you do, Val" she says while hugging me. "I know you do. But this is for the best, I promise you."

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Val" Silvia says after knocking on my room's door. "He's here. Do I ask him to come in?"

"Yes, please" I reply, quickly opening my phone's camera to check myself. I've been resting in bed since I came back from the hospital, and I definitely look like shit.

"You look beautiful, Val."

"Bloody hell, Pedri" I say, my phone slipping from my hands and hitting the floor. When I look up he is leaning against the door's frame as he always does, that smirk I love so much in his face. "Do you do it on purpose?"

"Do what? Scare you?"

"No. That" I say, gesturing towards him. "Do you stand like that because you know I love it?"

"I didn't know you loved it" he shrugs.

"Yeah, sure."

"I'm serious" he says, walking towards me and picking up my phone.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome" he smiles, sitting on my bed. Though that smile isn't one I love. It is a sad one. "How are you?"

"Good. But I've missed you" I say, reaching for his hand.

"Val…" Pedri says, avoiding my touch. "We need to talk."

"About what?"

"You know about what."

"No, I don't."

"Val…" he sighs. "We need to talk about what happened at the school. About you ending at the hospital, about what your mum said."

"My mum just said nonsense" I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Did she? Because I think she was right."

"What?" I laugh.

"Love should not make you feel like this. Anxious, scared, angry, sad… It should not make you feel so on edge that you end up at the hospital."

"I'm not feeling like that."

"C'mon, Val. Can't you see it? Being with me is hurting you. And I… I can't keep seeing you suffer like this because of me. I… we… we should…"

"We should what? Break up?"

"I'm sorry, Val. But it is for the best."

"The best?" I cry. "How is breaking up for the best? I love you!"

"And I love you too."

"Then why are you breaking up with me?"

"Because we are hurting each other, Val" he says, raising his voice. "Because I keep hurting you!"

"You aren't hurting me, Pedri. People are!"

"But they are hurting you because of me, because you are with me. It's the same!"

"It's… urgh!" I yell, throwing one of my pillows against the wall. The pillow with his photo on it to be precise.

"I'm sorry, Val, but your mum was right. It's best if I stay away."

"My mum knows nothing, Pedri. Nothing! She just said that because she's never liked you for whatever the reason!"

"It isn't for whatever the reason. She's never liked me because she was able to see that us being together was bound to end up with me hurting you."

"What?" I laugh and cry all at the same time.

"Goodbye, Val."

"What? No! Pedri, where are you going?" I say, getting up from my bed at the same time he does, having to hold to him to not fall.

"Look at you, Val. Look at you. This is all my fault" he says while hugging me.

"It's not your fault. It isn't" I insist, my body trembling between his arms. "It's them, not you."

"I'm sorry, Val."

"No" I cry when he takes a step away. "Pedri, please, no."

"I love you, Val. I will always love you" he whispers, kissing my forehead and leaving the room.

"Pedri. Pedri, please… Pedri!" I yell. But he doesn't come back. He isn't coming back.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Beth, Luis. What are you doing here?" I say when I open the door of my apartment.

"We've come to check on you" she smiles.

"And to bring you this" he says, giving me a bouquet of flowers.

"Oh, that's so kind of you" I reply while trying really hard not to cry, the memories of all the bouquets Pedri got me over the years coming back. "Please come in."

"Thank you" they say.

"So, how are you?" Beth says, taking my hand on hers.

"Been better, not gonna lie" I chuckle. "But my doctor said that physically I'm almost recovered."

"Good, that's good. Because we have something that may help you with everything else" Beth says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"We all know break ups aren't easy. Especially when two people love each other as much as you and Pe… him love each other. But there is something that I know always helps, and that's keeping yourself busy with something."

"I don't think I'm ready to go back to the school just yet…"

"We were thinking about something like that but different" Luis says, showing me a piece of paper he had in his pocket. "Have you ever heard about this program? It's like an Erasmus but for teachers."

"An Erasmus?" I ask.

"Yeah. Instead of spending a year abroad studying, you do it teaching."

"We have a few friends who have tried it and they all have loved it. The other day we had dinner with some of them and they mentioned that there were some free spots that start in January and last just six months instead of the whole year" Beth explains.

"And we thought that a change of scenery would do you good" Luis continues. "New country, new kids and parents, new language, culture, people…"

"Though not really” Beth says. “Because one of the free spots is in Manchester, and you have a friend there, don't you?"

"I do, yes. Ferran."

"Are things ok between you two?" she asks.

"They are, yes. He's been checking up on me daily since I was in the hospital" I say.

"Well, now he could do it in person and maybe help you with everything else so you don't feel so alone."

"And who knows, he may even help you fix things with your boy and get back together."

"Luis!" Beth scolds him.

"What? You said it yourself!"

"I didn't, Val. I just… I…"

"It's ok" I smile. "And you are right. If there is someone who can help, that's Ferran."

"Then will you think about our offer?"

"I will, Beth. Thank you very much."

"Anything for you, Val" she says before hugging me. "Anything for you."

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