#i mean i only have 1 main idea to draw and i'm out of this fandom forever

[kaiserouo]

hello i've never played valorant, ooc warning

[hairmetal666]

Scandal follows Eddie Munson wherever he goes. He doesn't mean for it to, it just does. And, like, sure, he should've known that cavorting with a bunch of topless models in a hot tub in a chalet in the Swiss Alps was a bad idea, but 1) he's gay and 2) even if he wasn't, does anyone really care if a rockstar has an orgy these days?

Well, it turns out that they do. They do so much, in fact, that he hasn't known a moment's peace since the photos leaked. Every time they go outside, they're mobbed. Their socials are a disaster zone.

Chrissy, Jeff, Gareth, and Freak are sick of his shit, worried that this will ruin the world tour, which doesn't make any sense. All publicity is good publicity, right?

Anyway, he's not surprised when he, Chrissy, and the rest of the band are whisked away in a fancy car with dark-tinted windows, thinks they're about to fly home for a break. And honestly? Good riddance to Europe.

Imagine his surprise when he exits the car mere feet away from the sun soaked Mediterranean.

"Oh no. No, no, no." He says, trying to force his way back into the sedan.

"Oh, yes." Chrissy links her arm with his. "You need to lay low for a few days and this was the best I could manage on short notice."

He glares. "You know I hate boats."

"You do not," Gareth accuses.

"You're just mad at facing consequences for your actions," Jeff adds.

"I didn't do anything!" He wails.

Freak pulls out his phone, reads, "Munson, 26, has always been open about being gay, out of the closet since Corroded Coffin's first gig. Now, though, his sexuality is in question. Multiple women have come forward to claim they slept with the rockstar. And, while many of the women in the photo have said that Munson was 'deeply uninterested' in them, the fact remains that his antics are more Motley Crue than Troye Sivan."

Eddie groans up at the sky. "Why would I be anything like Troye Sivan!? I'm in a heavy metal band! And he's around boobies all the time! Honestly, has no one been to a rave?"

"Not since the 90's." Chrissy smiles brightly, continues up the dock.

"I'm never forgiving any of you for this."

"It's a luxury yacht, Eddie. You'll survive," Gareth says.

He very bravely does not point out that he's wearing black jeans and an over-sized black hoodie and black platform Doc Martens, so obviously he's not the type of person equipped for any kind of boat.

The conversation ends but only because, when they get up to the main deck and the crew waiting for them, he sees the most beautiful man in the world. Artfully messy sun-bronzed hair, strong jaw, classic nose, skin dotted with freckles. Aviators hide his eyes, but even the sunglasses look good on him. Not to mention the little white uniform that shows off all of his many many muscles.

Eddie stares at him, blatantly, unabashedly, totally missing the introduction to the rest of the crew.

As soon as he's left to his own devices, he locks himself in his cabin. Not even the chance to gawk at that hot guy can draw him out of his pout. They can force him onto a boat, but they can't make him enjoy it.

He lasts until afternoon the next day, when Jeff barges in, surprising him enough that the throws his phone with a very un-rockstar yelp.

"You have to come out." Jeff's arms are crossed over his chest.

"Nope." Eddie relaxes back into his pillows. "Not until this is over."

"So, you're going to stay in your room for a week?"

"Guess so."

"Orr, you could come out and enjoy yourself instead of pouting over what your own actions caused."

"My actions!" He shrieks. "My actions! I stumbled on a bunch of topless French models in a hot tub, and I'm at fault?"

"No, you being drunk enough to get in with them was the problem."

"I wasn't even that drunk! I just thought it was funny. They did too!"

Jeff sighs. "You get yourself into a situation more than any person I've ever met."

"See? It's not my fault."

"I mean. It kind of is. I suspect any other guy would learn how to avoid this."

"I'm not leaving."

"Man, Chrissy isn't going to let you stay in here."

"Too bad."

"She told me to carry you out, if I had to."

"You wouldn't."

"If you come out, you can chat up the cute bosun."

"The bos-what?"

"Bosun. The guy you were ogling when we boarded. His name is Steve. He's really nice. He--"

"I was not ogling him."

"Eddie. You looked like you wanted to eat him for dinner."

"I'm not leaving the room." He sing-songs.

Look, would he have fought so hard if he'd known that Jeff was strong enough to toss him over his shoulders and fireman-carry him out of the room and up the stairs? He would not.

Instead, he screams the whole way from his cabin to the deck, where he's unceremoniously deposited into a lounge chair next to Chrissy. She's in a hot pink bikini, sipping a cocktail.

"Good to see you." She deadpans.

He glares. "Et tu, Chrissy?"

From behind him, a rich voice calls out, "Glad you could join us." It is, of course, the hot bosun. He waves when he catches Eddie looking in his direction.

Eddie sinks down in the lounger, Chrissy stifling giggles against her elbow.

---

The thing is, Steve is nice. He's nice and he's funny and he's hardworking. He's good with the other deckhands, Dustin, Max, and Lucas; strict but fair and good at keeping everyone on task. The stewards, Nancy, Robin, and El, all love him. Sometimes, he'll be down on all fours scrubbing the deck, and his t-shirt will bunch up, reveal a tantalizing glimpse of his taunt stomach that makes Eddie feel like a feral dog.

He's out on the top deck reading a copy of The Hobbit that Dustin loaned him, when Steve comes around the corner.

"Oh! Eddie, hey." Steve smiles. "Didn't realize there were any guests still up here."

"Do you need me to move?" He asks. He swings his feet over the side of the lounger.

"Not at all. Just wasn't expecting you." Steve's puttering around, picking up the detritus of the day. "I'm glad we've been able to overcome your expectations of boats."

His squeak is indignant. "It wasn't about the boat! I was brought here against my will!"

Steve smiles at him, eyes glittering. "Yeah, what a horrible punishment, boarding a luxury yacht for a Mediterranean cruise."

Eddie grabs at his chest, mimes being shot in the heart. "Stevie, how could you? All this time I thought you were on my side."

"Eh," he shrugs. "You were kind of being a baby."

He falls off the lounger at this. "The killing blow," he wails.

Laughing, Steve extends a hand, helps him to his feet. Their eyes meet and Eddie's struck, once again, by the way the hazel shines so gold, even at twilight.

"I'm being punished," he says, looking away.

"Again, getting on a chartered yacht for a week is not much of a punishment."

"I have a tendency to find myself involved in shenanigans."

"The topless women," Steve says.

Eddie groans. "You know about that?"

Steve does a real bitchy thing with his eyebrows that makes Eddie very warm in places it shouldn't. "Everyone knows about it."

"Okay. I'll have you know those boobs meant nothing to me, which is why it was fine! We had fun! Also, I am very, very gay. Like. The gayest."

"Oh, I know." Steve grins.

He doesn't know what to do with that. Changes the subject instead. "I hadn't clocked you for someone who listened to our stuff."

"I don't. Or well. Not really. No offense. The kids love you guys. And Robin. It's just--it's really loud? Not really my thing. Some good lyrics, though."

"No, I get it." He nods, licks his lips. "I write most of our songs." He's not sure why he says it, what he hopes to get from it.

"I know," Steve says.

"Oh." Eddie smiles down at his hands, The Hobbit. Before he can say more, Chrissy calls him down for dinner.

---

It's no secret that the Corroded Coffin boys are diehard dnd fans. They've done interviews about it, posted video of their sessions on YouTube and TikTok. Everyone knows they play, everyone knows Eddie DMs, so, he supposes, it's only a matter of time before Dustin and Lucas asks if he would DM for them.

The band, Chrissy, Lucas, Dustin, Max, Nancy, El, and Robin all agree to play. When asked, Captain Hopper snorts, doesn't take his eyes off the horizon, and Steve tells Dustin, "You know nothing in the world will make me play that game, kid. I'll try to stop by, though."

Eddie is totally in his element, everyone is having a blast, even Captain Hopper stops by. And Steve--he shows up after fifteen minutes, stays the whole time, can't keep his eyes off Eddie. He's not sure if it spurs him on, makes him more wild and dramatic, but the game is electric, the mood high.

It's an amazing night, one of the best of Eddie's life, and that's really saying something. They go late, well into the morning, but he's too hyped to sleep. He's pacing across the deck when Steve appears.

"You were great tonight." He says.

Eddie feels like he's effervescing. "You should think about playing sometime."

"Nah." Steve ducks his head a little. "Wouldn't be the same without you leading."

There's not a ton of space separating them, but he closes the distance anyway. "That could be arranged," he says, voice low.

"Yeah?" Steve meets his eyes, doesn't look away.

"If you want."

The air between them goes heavy, tightens, the silence lengthens.

"I can't," Steve breathes. "I'm working."

"No, yeah," Eddie nods. He steps back, runs his hand through his hair. He's never said no to something like this, never to someone like Steve. "I'm avoiding--"

"Situations." Steve finishes.

"Oh, but, Stevie, you're a situation I want very much."

"Take me on a date tomorrow."

"It would be my pleasure," he says.

He should leave but--he does love an occurrence, so he lets the impulsivity fly-- leans forward, places a soft kiss at the corner of Steve's mouth.

"Tomorrow, sweetheart."

[burntoutdaydreamer]

Weird Brain Hacks That Help Me Write

I'm a consistently inconsistent writer/aspiring novelist, member of the burnt-out-gifted-kid-to-adult-ADHD-diagnosis-pipeline, recently unemployed overachiever, and person who's sick of hearing the conventional neurotypical advice to dealing with writer's block (i.e. "write every single day," or "there's no such thing as writer's block- if you're struggling to write, just write" Like F*CK THAT. Thank you, Brenda, why don't you go and tell someone with diabetes to just start producing more insulin?)

I've yet to get to a point in my life where I'm able to consistently write at the pace I want to, but I've come a long way from where I was a few years ago. In the past five years I've written two drafts of a 130,000 word fantasy novel (currently working on the third) and I'm about 50,000 words in on the sequel. I've hit a bit of a snag recently, but now that I've suddenly got a lot of time on my hands, I'm hoping to revamp things and return to the basics that have gotten me to this point and I thought I might share.

1) My first draft stays between me and God

I find that I and a lot of other writers unfortunately have gotten it into our heads that first drafts are supposed to resemble the finished product and that revisions are only for fixing minor mistakes. Therefore, if our first draft sucks that must mean we suck as writers and having to rewrite things from scratch means that means our first draft is a failure.

I'm here to say that is one of the most detrimental mentalities you can have as a writer.

Ever try drawing a circle? You know how when you try to free-hand draw a perfect circle in one go, it never turns out right? Whereas if you scribble, say, ten circles on top of one another really quickly and then erase the messy lines until it looks like you drew a circle with a singular line, it ends up looking pretty decent?

Yeah. That's what the drafting process is.

Your first draft is supposed to suck. I don't care who you are, but you're never going to write a perfect first draft, especially if you're inexperienced. The purpose of the first draft is to lay down a semi-workable foundation. A really loose, messy sketch if you will. Get it all down on paper, even if it turns out to be the most cliche, cringe-inducing writing you've ever done. You can work out those kinks in the later drafts. The hardest part of the first draft is the most crucial part: getting started. Don't stress yourself out and make it even harder than it already is.

If that means making a promise to yourself that no one other than you will ever read your first draft unless it's over your cold, dead body, so be it.

2) Tell perfectionism to screw off by writing with a pen

I used to exclusively write with pencil until I realized I was spending more time erasing instead of writing.

Writing with a pen keeps me from editing while I right. Like, sometimes I'll have to cross something out or make notes in the margins, but unlike erasing and rewriting, this leaves the page looking like a disaster zone and that's a good thing.

If my writing looks like a complete mess on paper, that helps me move past the perfectionist paralysis and just focus on getting words down on the page. Somehow seeing a page full of chicken scratch makes me less worried about making my writing all perfect and pretty- and that helps me get on with my main goal of fleshing out ideas and getting words on a page.

3) It's okay to leave things blank when you can't think of the right word

My writing, especially my first draft, is often filled with ___ and .... and (insert name here) and red text that reads like stage directions because I can't think of what is supposed to go there or the correct way to write it.

I found it helps to treat my writing like I do multiple choice tests. Can't think of the right answer? Just skip it. Circle it, come back to it later, but don't let one tricky question stall you to the point where you run out of brain power or run out of time to answer the other questions.

If I'm on a role, I'm not gonna waste it by trying to remember that exact word that I need or figure out the right transition into the next scene or paragraph. I'm just going to leave it blank, mark to myself that I'll need to fix the problem later, and move on.

Trust me. This helps me sooooo much with staying on a roll.

4) Write Out of Order

This may not be for everyone, but it works wonders for me.

Sure, the story your writing may need to progress chronologically, but does that mean you need to write it chronologically? No. It just needs to be written.

I generally don't do this as much for editing, but for writing, so long as you're making progress, it doesn't matter if it's in the right order. Can't think of how to structure Chapter 2, but you have a pretty good idea of how your story's going to end? Write the ending then. You'll have to go back and write Chapter 2 eventually, but if you're feeling more motivated to write a completely different part of the book, who's to say you can't do that?

When I'm working on a project, I start off with a single document that I title "Scrap for (Project Title)" and then just write whatever comes to mind, in whatever order. Once I've gotten enough to work with, then I start outlining my plot and predicting how many chapters I'm going to need. Then, I create separate google docs for each individual chapter and work on them in whatever order I feel like, often leaving several partially complete as I jump from one to the other. Then, as each one gets finished, I copy and paste the chapter into the full manuscript document. This means that the official "draft" could have Chapters 1 and 9, but completely be missing Chapters 2-8, and that's fine. It's not like anyone will ever know once I finish it.

Sorry for the absurdly long post. Hopes this helps someone. Maybe I'll share more tricks in the future.

[deerspherestudios]

Some questions regarding Atom because I absolutely loved this game and I've been non-stop drawing this spaguetti alien...

Are there any other songs you thought of when creating Atom's personality or that you wanted to include a reference to in the game? (aside from Moon Waltz, but that one already fits perfectly).

When Atom said that one day they would like to go "swimming" with the MC, did they really meant float around space or also visit other planets? Places? Maybe their home planet?

(I'm also curious on what Atom meant when they said that "they've seen worse" than the worms)

Is Atom still going to use the suit or is there any other way for it to move around (human-like that is)?

Sorry if something is worded weirdly and for asking so many questions! I'm Spanish but I'm really invested in your games, thank you Cheea!

Waaa I'd love to see your Atom drawings if you're up to sharing them! I usually don't go for stacked questions (just because they take longer to respond to and it's difficult to organize) but these were really fun to answer so I'll put them under a read more! <3

1. Are there any other songs you thought of when creating Atom's personality or that you wanted to include a reference to in the game?

Not a reference per se,,, but if Atom had a playlist I would add Villains of Circumstance by Queens of the Stone Age! QOTSA's one of my husband's favorite bands for the past year so the amount of times I've listened to this in the car has been one too many /lh It's soft and slow and heavy and eurghhh;; I think about the line "I sing only for you" a lot,,, plus a few other lines but you guys can make the connections if you happen to have a listen! Otherwise I'm gonna go off on a tangent that's way too long haha:

2. When Atom said that one day they would like to go "swimming" with the MC, did they really meant float around space or also visit other planets? Places? Maybe their home planet?

Atom being Atom they meant it literally haha! There's nowhere else for them to be other than near you, and they like the idea of a romantic outing floating among the stars. They think it's a lovely activity to do together; like that Wall-E and EVE dancing in space scene. Very cute very wholesome. Plus they're more used to being outside than in. Of course with MC's phobia, it might take a while for them to agree,,,

3. What did they mean when they said they've seen worse?

They've taken over bigger ships than the Bidadari in their search for you. That's all I'll say!

4. Is Atom still going to use the suit or is there any other way for it to move around (human-like that is)?

Considering their characteristics, yes they're still using the suit. Currently, there's no other way for it to move around that could pass as human. The main reason they use the suit is because they didn't wanna scare you on sight. Besides, they're more comfortable with the suit (and they're fully aware you don't like it when they touch you directly, so the suit helps). In fact, they'd be happy to occupy two or more of them so you can have an army of Atoms at your beck and call!

[alikuarso]

To answer your question about Fresh: Fresh is actually a parasite! He dresses in his 90's-themed clothes and speaks in a silly way so that others underestimate him. His main and utmost goal is to Survive, and the way he does that is by infecting other people with his parasites and draining the life from their souls. Being seen as harmless lets him get closer to them and gives him easier access for possession. He hopes to eventually take over the multiverse, spreading his parasites in every corner of it and having absolute control.

He also has no emotions. He is capable of them, but for whatever reason he is unable to feel much, besides the rare instance of anger. He does frequently feel fear, though.

He is a bit sadistic, and he likes seeing others suffer. This is because when he takes over someone he drains their soul of life, which causes them pain. And to him, taking someone's body means safety, it means he can survive a bit longer as long as he's snatched their body. So he's come to associate the pain of others as something good.

And he's also aware of the creators/viewers, thanks to an event called the Loveball, which is canon to his character.

Going to copy and paste my own words for this [I was talking to a friend about Loveball]:

"So, like seven years ago there was a fandom-wide event called the Loveball, where people gathered their OCs and had them all attend an UTMV dancing ball. Fresh went, of course. There, he met a Frisk called Pacifrisk. Even knowing who he really was [90's parasite], they still believed he could be good. Before this, he hadn't ever really felt a connection to anyone, or even positive emotions in general. But Pacifrisk's faith in him made him feel positively towards them. This freaked him out. [No Fr@ns though, don't worry. That wasn't the intention for this plot.]

As a result, not only did he try to kill them, but he also went through with his plans: the Fresh Takeover [I forget what it's actually called]. His true reason for attending the ball. OCs were either possessed by the parasites or tried to fight against them. Apparently, some people used alcohol to ward the virus off, as Fresh hates substances such as that.

Fresh wanted to take over the multiverse, with this Loveball being the first step for his total domination.

But then right in the middle of things, a Sans AU [which I totally forget the name of X,D] grabbed Fresh and basically yeeted him into an alternate state of being. One where he could see the creators, all staring at him. An audience.

The Sans revealed the nature of Fresh's existence: That he was simply a character in a story. And if the creators got bored of him, he could easily be written aside and forgotten. Erased. His conquest didn't matter, in the end.

Predictably, this gave him an existential crisis. I'm not sure what happened after, but he stopped invading and went somewhere to contemplate his existence in a depressed state.

Afterwards, he had a new goal: To entertain. To convince the creators that he was worth keeping around. Similar to his previous goal of survival, but now with more dire stakes."

His creator @loverofpiggies has some posts about the Loveball, tagged under either the 'fresh sans' tag or the 'loveball' tag, which I recommend you check out! ^^

But yeah, to answer your question: The reason Fresh fought Ink was probably 1: because he saw it as a good way to keep himself alive and 2: So that he could be relevant and interesting to the viewers.

Hope this answered any questions you might have about him! ^w^

THANK YOU BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY I WOULD HAVE FOUND ABOUT ANY OF THIS OTHERWISE😭😭😭 THAT'S A LOT

Now I want to draw fresh existential crisis mood, That's something I never would have imagined existed

Im still a bit confused about fresh not having emotions¿ but I think I got the idea, but still, why does he feel fear?

I think fresh is becoming my favorite now, help, error do something

(Thank you again for your time✨️)

[miwiheroes]

Dropping Byler Evidence Every (Other) Day Until Season 5

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ Day 31: The Painting is Chekhov's Gun . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

Sorry for not doing one of these in like.... a really long time lmao I've just been writing fics really hahaha

Anyways I'm back to talk about 'Chekhov's Gun' and how it relates to the Painting in S4. In summary, this basically means that the lie about the painting can't not pay off. There is no way that the painting conversation will go unanswered, or the writers would kind of be making a bad decision, leaving the story unsatisfying. It is a dangling plot, a introduced plot point that can't go unanswered.

So what is 'Chekhov's Gun'?

In short terms, this is the principle that any detail in a story should serve a purpose in the overall narrative to fulfil the viewer/reader's expectations. This basically encourages writers not to make false promises in their narrative by including random details that seem important, keeping the audience on the edge of their seats, but with no payoff.

This literary device has actually been used in Stranger Things a lot already. There are so so many examples, but some examples I can think of include:

Will coughs up slugs in the sink at the end of Season 1 -> D'art appears in Season 2 and the Demodogs are grown from this.

Will falls off his bike and the camera lingers on this when he goes missing -> Hopper and the police find his bike and bring it to Joyce.

Hopper says that falling off the quarry into the water will kill you -> Will's 'body' is found there and Mike later jumps off.

Argyle talks to Jonathan about taking 'Purple Palm Tree Delight' -> They use the same thing to distract the SBP guy when they're trying to commandeer the store.

Max draws her and Lucas in the Creel House -> Drawing is later seen in the hospital.

Eddie says that he wants to be a hero -> ends up being called a hero and dies one.

This is just some. Notice how all of these cause a shift to the plot.

Already in this scene, the Chekhov is gunning, the painting which we have constantly been shown during the whole season is finally being revealed to Mike. Which means the gun goes off in that respect. But, another gun is introduced:

Will's Lie - the painting is from 'El' not him.

This lie needs to be revealed. This would be the case in any other show. But in Stranger Things??? The show where El's lie about her friends is revealed to Mike and Will criticises her for lying??? The show which has its main slogan as Friends don't lie????

But didn't Will's painting pay off in the Love Monologue Scene?

No, because Mike still holds the disbelief that this was about El. That's my first point which should convince you, but also:

There are consequences to Will's lie of course -> Mike ends up being called 'The Heart' by Will in a crucial moment, which causes him to say I love you to El. This could not have happened without the van scene between him and Will. It's kind of insane that the only reason Mike feels like he can say I love you to her is because of a LIE. Will has no idea what El really feels.

So now we've established that this scene has it's impact as a lie, we must also see how it can have impact once the truth is revealed:

EITHER:

Mike finds out that Will's painting is a lie but it doesn't change his feelings for El. They stay together and Will accepts that Mike doesn't love him back.

OR Mike finds out that Will's painting is a lie and confronts what this means for the way that he told El he loved her. Mike and Will, despite the reasons for Will's lying (that he's given up on Mike loving him back), end up together.

Scenario one cannot happen because it will not change a thing. The plot will not change or shift.

If the 'gun' in this case actually fires, why would this mean things stay the same?

Mileven's relationship was doomed the moment Mike was motivated by a lie to confess. It automatically makes his words inauthentic and not strong enough because they aren't coming from him. It heavily involves the second love interest's feelings, which would be very strange not to address. The writers have done this lie thing before:

Jonathan told Nancy that Steve took her home - to make her feel more secure in their relationship instead of telling the truth.

Said selfless love interest ends up with the person they wanted. Because writing it this way makes the second love interest look more deserving of the love from the person in the middle. It's pretty simple. They are the one shown to give up so much for them. The writers made the choice to have Will be the one to constantly reassure Mike about his troubles and insecurities. They made him the one to make him feel confident again and give him the exact love that he wants -> to be needed.

Mileven has been shown not to understand each other in this way - El explicitly says that Mike doesn't understand her and she no longer acknowledges that he was bullied.

Will knew that Mike was feeling worthless so he emphasised that he was a leader and protector that inspired and guided everyone. And Mike clearly loved hearing all of that! He was completely enamoured in this scene, and no one can argue against that right? Even if it was just because of the words, they're still Will's feelings!

Mike felt insecure in his relationship, it makes him feel like he's not needed anymore, but Will was able to get rid of that with a single painting and a half-confession about his own feelings. It is a very obvious way of showing the contrast between 2 love interests.

Basically, the painting was a plot device, but not to fix Mileven's relationship at all. Lots of Bylers thought that at first, but that's the thing. It's supposed to seem that way at first. Instead, it is actually a way of fooling you and setting up Mileven's inevitable downfall and Byler getting together. There is no other way of satisfyingly resolving this plotline.

People may come up with other reasons, but that's not because they are plausible reasons, it's just because people don't want Byler.

[microwavesaferat]

Okay, I never post on Tumblr but I just got hit with such a violent hyperfixation that I forcibly had to put into words so, this is long one.

Life Series SMP as the Magnus Archives

So I had an idea for a Life Series AU where all the players are an avatar of one of the fears from tma. Warning that I haven't seen all Cc's povs so I'm mainly going off of vibes and moments I remember. I also tried to have at least 1 member in each fear.

Bdubs - The Dark

This is for obvious reasons with his association with sleeping and clocks. My hc is that, cause he can't sleep the night away, he kind of became an avatar of the dark. I like the idea of him just kind of hiding in shadowy corners, the only way to know he's there is by the sound of the clock letting you know that it's night now and you should not be out at this time.

BigB - The Spiral

This is mainly based on the whole thing with secret life and the weird corridors he had. I like the idea of that every time you look at him, you're not sure what emotion he is feeling. Is he happy? Annoyed? Angry? Who's to say. And where does that corridor lead anyway? Oh, wait, he says there are no corridors, but you just saw one didn't you? Oh, it's gone now, where did it go? Where did it's contents go?

Cleo - The Flesh

This was an obvious one. As much as I think she could also fit into other categories like the desolation, it's too hard to ignore the obvious aesthetical choice of making them a Flesh avatar. I mean, come on. I think as a fully realised avatar, she would have too many limbs. There are at least 7 leg warmers and sweatbands, not all on legs or arms. She had to work hard at jazzercise to get legs like that. And I mean it, the original owner was still using them.

Etho - The Stranger

This was a tough one, but I kind of like where I ended up. In almost every season, he has had more than one alliance, usually a main team and a back up one. Especially in Wild Life, where he was teamed with pretty much everyone. I think he, as a full stranger avatar, is always your friend, but also always your enemy but he's also the enemy of your enemy so he's your friend? At this point you're not sure how loyal he is to you or anyone for that matter. I also think that everyone has seen under the mask, but it's all different things. "I saw Etho's face, he had a huge mustache" "What? No, he doesn't have a mouth" "I saw that he had 2 mouths under there" "I saw every possible outcome of every universe happening simultaneously and in all of them, humanity perishes" "this is why we don't talk to you."

Gem - The Corruption

So this is mainly to do with the whole zombie thing in Secret Life. I was toying with the idea of Bdubs being the Corruption as well due to the Boogieman kills. I'm still not entirely sure of my decision. I want the Corruption ideas to lean into how people draw Gem as some form of woodland creature or druid. I like the idea of the Corruption being like plant life/small bugs. As a full avatar, she would look like how she is commonly drawn, but it's not entirely clear if that's skin, fur or bark. There's bugs in it regardless. Are her eyes glowing? Is it the fireflies around her or is it actually coming from her eyes? I think she'd appear almost like the Creaking, where you turn away and suddenly greenery and bugs start swarming from the ground, consuming you.

Grian - The Eye

I'm really in-between fears for this. As much as the Watcher symbolism works well for the Eye, I wasn't sure if I wanted both him and Martyn to be avatars of the Eye. I eventually decided, given he sets up the games and runs them, Knowing slightly more info than other participants, it does really tend towards the Beholding. I like the idea of an unwilling avatar like Jon is, but his abilities grow more and more over the seasons before it gets to Wild Life where someone is like "I wonder what the wildcard is today" and Grian is just suddenly flashbanged with the image of:

🐌

Impulse - The End

I haven't really watched Impulse POVs so I wasn't really sure what to do. I have a vague memory of him always doing quite well and getting in the last few a lot. I also know that previous teams have banked on Impulse being the member that could actually win. Regardless, he always dies just before he can win. I think he's a new, unwilling avatar, not fully coming to terms with his new identity, he always gets so close, only for death to sweep him away and he is forced to try again. I think that he, as an avatar, would be themed around wasting time, the concept that everything ends in death so the time spent before is pointless and wasted, this especially applies after his death in limited life.

Jimmy - The End

I mean, come on. The Canary Curse? Need I say more? I will add though that I think he's slowly becoming a fully realised avatar, hence why, in recent seasons he's not been out first, able to harness and manipulate his curse. Jimmy's always the first out, so we're all safe until he goes.... Right?

Joel - The Desolation

So this is about the whole "the ship burns, everything burns". I feel like, near the end of every series, he slowly gets more and more angry and violent. He usually starts acting almost desperate, think of his desperation in Last Life with his faulty traps. He is angry, volatile, and will do anything to burn everything you cherish to the ground. If the ship burns, everything burns.

Lizzie - The Buried

I've never really watched Lizzie's POV and I also didn't have anyone for the Buried. I couldn't think of anyone else that would work, so this is based on how, whenever she dies, someone seems to try and sell her bones to Joel. It's a weirdly common thing. I was gonna do the vast cause of her ending in Secret Life, but she did go down, not up, so I prefer the idea that she got stuck underground. It may look like the night sky, but it's the lack of air slowly choking her, unable to claw her way out, suffocating in silence deep under the ground.

Martyn - The Hunt

So I was also gonna put Martyn with the Eye because of the whole Watcher/Listener thing, but I think the Hunt fits better. I like the arc of his transformation over the course of the Life Series. In 3rd Life, he's essentially a soldier for the Red Army. Then, after realising the bloodlust and red haze, he becomes a relatively peaceful Southlander. But eventually, he kills his soulmate, unable to contain the need to kill and hunt. It reaches its peak in limited life where he just snaps, kind of like Daisy at the end of season 4. He then spent Secret Life as a dog before going back to his Red King as his hand in Wild Life. Ren may be an actual dog, but Martyn is his bloodhound.

Mumbo - The Web

Okay, hear me out: Mumbo as a very new avatar of the web who, due to the machinations of mother spider, is not aware of his avatar status, the avatar status of his pears, nor the existence of the fears at all. Think about it, every time Mumbo has gone out of the series, it has been his own fault. He attacks Grian unprepared, completely forgetting the ramifications of his actions. Gets stuck on a fence he placed then killed by a Warden. Gets stuck in his own spider's web of tnt minecart tracks. He also never goes for kills with basic PvP, it's always some elaborate scheme; making end crystals from a ghast farm, making a complex system of tracks for launching tnt, digging out a pit under a base and waiting for sooooooo long for someone to conveniently walk over the hole (also the web fucked that up for him with the fireworks in the background). I also really like the idea of the webs being like lines of redstone. I cannot draw, but can fully imagine the fanart in my head.

Pearl - The Hunt/Lonely

So Pearl is a double avatar. I couldn't decide between them. I hc her as the concept of looking out on the moors to see the silhouette of a lone hunter, on a horse with only the company of her hunting dogs. I think she embodies the solitude and the quiet of hunting by yourself. The only company she has is snarling hunting dogs, there to help stalk and tear at her prey. The only issue is, this hunter isn't looking for game.

Ren - The Slaughter

Ren does also fit with the hunt, but given his whole King persona, he lends more to the idea of a war waged by leaders in distant lands with a large toll amounting of nameless soldiers fighting for ideals their King tells them to believe in. I think his whole Red King character is pretty much a Slaughter avatar as is, so not much needs to change. I'm not entirely sure how I mix this with other seasons, but I do believe that Ren's most iconic character is the Red King, so fight me I guess. Red Winter is coming.

Scar - The Lonely

So Scar always focused on his connection (or lack there of) with Grian. He died, leaving his partner alone. Then he lived in recluse on a mountain, unable to bring back what he had. Even when forced to partner up, he is still alone. It takes him till Secret Life to finally embrace his avatar identity of being alone. Rumour has it that, on the Secret Life world, you can hear faint humming. No idea where the source is though, it's hard to find anything in the vast sunflower field.

Scott - The Vast

Scott was also hard to place, but I can't fight his whole spacey vibe. I also like the idea that, by refusing to succumb to the Boogieman curse, he defied the Watchers, these enormous, all powerful deities. I like the imagery of Scott, an ant in the face of these gods, being the bigger man.

Skizz - The Lonely

So Skizz is normally one of the first out in his team. He's also prone to sacrificing himself for the sake of the team. I think that is a lonely existence. I believe that Skizz, after giving his life to allow his team to move on, is forced to sit and watch. Unable to talk to his former teammates and stuck in isolation watching them go on without him.

Tango - The Desolation

Tbf, I think the way people draw Tango as a blaze has skewed my perception a bit. But I do believe the volatile anger he has works well with the idea of the desolation. As well as that, he has also had everything he loves destroyed. His ranch, his trust, etc. he's experienced so much desolation, he has simply become the burning fire of grief that laps at his feet.

Anyway, thanks for reading this far. Please let me know if you have any suggestions or changes I should make.

[anotheroceanid]

because you're my writing inspiration, i've decided to pester you with questions about it! >:) if you don't mind ❤️

what's your creative process look like? what normally comes first to you, the idea for a plot, specific moments, vibes/themes, world building, etc.?

what type of character is your favorite to write? what's your favorite relationship dynamic to write?

how do decide a character needs to die? (like a named, known-by-the-audience character, not Red Shirt #3 lol)

favorite type of comment to receive? don't say "any comment" >:) longer, more WTHB-centered questions:

WTHB is shaping up to be a very long story juggling a lot of characters that spans YEARS(i'm obsessed with it—so excited), how do you even begin to break down and organize the story beats for something this big? do you picture it like a series of movies or novels? like tv show episodes? or does it truly just all come together as one massive plot arc in your mind? summing such a large work down into one concise summary sounds daunting

any advice on writing romance? Percy and Apollo have barely appeared together in flashbacks even, most of their love story has been off-screen, but you make them so compelling! i feel their yearning in my soul T-T

i find this question hard to ask for some reason. WTHB!Percy is a mother currently being held hostage, do you ever worry that people will think she's been relegated to a damsel in distress or just "the mom" character?

This will be a long answer but I got soooo excited with this ask

Soooo

1. Yk how people categorise themselves as plotters and pantsers? I think I’m a plantser 😅

Like, my first “inspiration” can be anything (I’ve literally dreamed with things that then became stories), so when I get some idea banging on my head I start to imagine how it’d look like as a story, so I set the tone I want before I write anything.

From then, I start imagining important scenes that will drive the plot. One of the first scenes I imagined for WTHB (once I had defined who the kids would be, because I spent a lot of time making up kid ocs until I ended up with the triplets, with Luke being the only one I was decided from the start) was the boys being taken scene, then Hector meeting Jason, then a few scenes between Annabeth and Milo that didn’t happen yet.

So, like I said, I am a plantser, which means I do plot (a lot) but I still like to keep some things open so I can change if I figure something out while I’m writing.

What I do, I set the main plots and it’s narrators (if there is more than one), since I’m using WTHB as an example, rk we have these

The Greek Arc (Annabeth & Milo)

The Roman Arc (Jason & Hector)

Percy’s Arc

Apollo’s Arc (which is also the god’s arc)

So, these arcs affect each other. What character A does in Place 1 can affect Character B in place 2 and vice versa, so even if these characters aren’t interacting directly, they still cause things to happens in each others lives.

This is relevant because rk almost all characters of WTHB are separated geographically, but their stories are interconnected.

What I like to do, is write each characters arc but using a mind map, so I make a linear mapping using some structure (heroine arc, hero arc, seven plot structure, you can pick whatever you want, I usually use heroine’s arc even for men).

You can use obsidian, miro, or even draw it at hand.

But the mind map give you a visual way to develop your plot, so you can see when each plot point takes place. And the thing is, not always the characters are synchronised, so I organise it in a way that events happening more or less at the same time are aligned, and if some event from A affects B I draw a line connecting them or even explain what happened.

I don’t have my laptop with me rk, but it is more or less like this:

This way, you can figure out the main events of the story without having to write EVERYTHING that will happen. If you need to change something, you know more or less how it’ll affect every characters.

I also make a timeline of events (this because I’m dealing with a lot of worldbuilding, so I better know when things happened even if I’m not using it directly on the story). I also, sometimes, write down some topics like I live in that world and I’m giving myself a class about those events.

Another thing I like to do, is organising the chapters even before I write them. I use scrivener to write, but you can do it on obsidian to (I use scrivener for worldbuilding only). Each character have a different number of chapters, it depends on the arc. Like, Percy and Apollo are the only narrators of their arcs, but both the Greek and Roman arc have two narrators, so the narrators share the amount of chapters.

This is it, then I write. If needed, I go back and re-do something. I’m always re-reading the chapters I already posted, because sometimes I forget a few details.

Sometimes I draw to inspire myself to write, this helps too 😂 and vice versa. I think the hardest part is when you’re dealing with a large geographical space, and your characters are all scattered, specially when they have to move around and you have to make math so it makes sense, specially when it’s not your own country 🤒

2. I like writing the “colateral effect” characters. Like, using WTHB as an example again. I love writing Percy, Apollo, the triplets, ofc I do. I love them. But there’s something so enjoyable about writing Annabeth and Jason because, while they did a not of horrible things, they were thrown in that mess and they’re just dealing with it.

3. 😵😵😵 Okay, harsh. But usually, since I keep going back and forth and imagining different outcomes, so I play with killing characters. Then I consider the impact of their deaths to the other characters and to the story as a whole.

4. As you can see, I love talking. So I loooveee comments I have to answer topic by topic. But I still appreciate all of them, it’s just that I like interacting 😅

5. I kind of answered this one in the first topic, but I make myself a lot of content where I can check my own work. And yeah, I imagine as a show 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️ as a novel 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️ as an animation 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️ as a Bollywood movie 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️ as a broadway musical 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️ as a lot of things.

But nope, even though now I can’t tell the whole arc as block of text if needed, I think that’s counterproductive to me. So I work with mind maps, I use the actual map to have an idea where the characters are and where they’re going, I make sheets sometimes, and ofc, the timeline (I mean, I always say that, but the timeline of the story ain’t linear, so things are happening in different times for different characters, and I need to know 😂)

6. Actually romance is actually hard to me, I just focus in creating a meaningful connection between the characters through their similarities and their differences. I’m a sucker for friends to lovers, so I try showing how character A and B learn things from each other, and appreciate each other beyond a physical sphere. Idk if that makes much sense, but this is it. And to antagonise it, their own faults (in the case of Percy and Apollo, both have terrible self esteem and are always expecting the worst to happen, which lead them to jump into conclusions waaaay to fast).

7. The “damsel in distress” or “just the mom” character usually carries a lot of “why is this female characters who’s obvious in a vulnerable situation don’t get out” that comes from a misogynistic point of view. It’s always the double standard: male characters are manipulated, female characters take dumb decisions, male characters are, among other things, fathers, female characters are mothers, sisters and/or lovers.

So like, I try being truthful to the character because IK this sort of interpretation will exist either way. Ik that Percy, despite being in that state, isn’t reduced to none of those. While she may be way to believing of Gaea, she doesn’t jump into the conclusion Orion and Medea are good people just because Gaea had them on their side. She’s in a place where she have to deal with the circumstances that she had, not with the circumstances that were ideal. From her standpoint, she doesn’t have any other allies.

And yeah, her main focus right now are her three sons, but is she meant to say “yup, not my problem” when they get kidnapped? Like, in canon, Percy was ready to die for his friends and etc. fem Percy too, and now she’s ready to die for her sons. It’s a very male Kronides x Female kronides situation. Demeter? Obsessive, awful mom who wouldn’t let Persephone do anything. Hades? Well, he was in love. Hera? Crazy women. Zeus? Oh, he’s just a man of his time.

So like, maybe some people think she’s falling into mom or damsel in distress trope? Maybe. But there’s nothing I can do about it. I just enjoy my time writing, because it’s not as if any of those people are paying me to write the character arc THEY want to see.

Btw, thanks for this ask. Hopefully it made sense, because I know I tend to talk a little more than necessary 😆

[lynaferns]

The Forest On The Other Side

Chapter 1: I want to go home.

Ver. [ENGLISH / SPANISH]

EDIT: This fic is now on AO3

A girl gets lost in the forest and finds a misterious gate in the middle of nowhere. At the other side she meets a... very peculiar individual who seems to only want to befriend her and play. Everything seems fine. Until night falls and someone else joins to play...

Again, I appreciate feedback about the english adaptation. English is not my first lenguage and I still mess up sometimes.

This is in some way a more "joyful" story than BIOMáquina, still with its dark themes. I wrote this a year ago. By this I mean I forced myself to get it written down and ended up hating it and burning myself out. A couple of weeks ago I decided to reread it and I though it was pretty ok actually, so I edited it a bit to make it flow better. It used to be written more as a script for the comic I wanted to draw buuuut that didn't happen (cough stressed myself out cough forced myself cough don't force yourself to make content out of a hobby, a hobby is supposed to be for your own fun). I'm not completely satisfied with the final draft but I think is good enough for my first ever fic written.

I originally planned to make it a Y/N thing but that didn't last long. But I keeped the original idea of the first person POV. The Y/N stories I've read has always some narrator telling you what you do insert you in the story. I thought of making the MC the narrator, this way the reader can insert themselves like it's their story or they can read it as if someone else is telling them a story. This is also a bit limiting, since the narration is also the MCs thought process and sometimes I may skip details MC couldn't have seen.

AU, Magical forest, DCA centered, Sun fnaf, Moon fnaf, Elves Sun & Moon, OC, Selfinsert, Character & OC, platonic, friendship, slowburn (kind of), Moon is agresive at first, Moon is also a bit of a gremlin, Protective Sun (I think), OC is a potty mouth, Female Main Character, First person, Angst.

The first post where I showed this AU and my first sketches ideas.

Tumblr archive with all of the art, ideas and anwsered asks.

Youtube Playlist which I'm pretty proud of how it turned out :] It's in a specific order but you can put it on mix.

Note: even though I try to keep things light some things may be triggering for some readers.

CW: Anxiety, Suicide ideation, Implied death, Choking, Non sexual abuse.

Wordcount: 9,700 (It's not rounded, that's literally the number Word tells me it's at lol)

Welp.

Here we are again, in the old village house (yey...). Well, 'I am', my family won't arrive to settle in for another week. They brought me here beforehand a few days ago for organizational reasons. They took a quick look inside before they left to see the state of the house, if it needed any repairs and such, and they headed back to the city. While they finish preparing everything, I take care of the house and text them messages about anything that may be needed for when they return.

We haven't been here in years, the house needs some repairs, and I'm sorry for the spiders, but it could use a deep cleaning. We can't do a deep cleaning but I have been cleaning what I can these last few days, at least so that it looks decent... at first glance.

Well, it's not like anyone is coming to visit.

It's a quiet town, until the kids from the town next door come to make a racket with their bikes. They play in our field, scare away the cats and throw cans around. They are assholes.

Anyways, the people in the village are nice. The adults I mean, the kids I used to play with, I don't get along with them anymore. Some of them aren't kids anymore, we have grown up and are going down different paths. But those who are still kids... they're still interested in the only older kid in the town who listened to them and let them do whatever they wanted, to a certain extent.

I don't want them to come looking for me to go out and play. I've been avoiding them by saying that I'm busy cleaning the house and getting it ready for when my family arrives, but I feel like interacting with them less and less. That's why I'm going out to the woods behind the house to get lost for a while, as always. The kids don't go near the forest so they won't bother me there.

There is an area for tourism and hiking but not many people come, some police cars border the forest from time to time but they never go inside. The reports of missing people in this forest have been coming in for decades, only some lost children have returned but there is no trace of any of the adults who disappeared along with the rest of the children. The areas marked with signs are safe but you can't go out of bounds unless you want to disappear with those people.

And I, who right now am alone and with no one to notice my absence if I go missing, am going to head straight to the forest. Don't you think, I don't want to disappear, I just don't like people and I usually go into the forest but I don't go too far away. As long as I see my house in the distance, I know how to return.

I grab my bag with my sketchbook and pencil case, in case I feel like drawing (probably won't) and step out to the back porch. The outer sliding metal door that protects the inner one is rusty and difficult to open. It would be better to oil it but I don't know when it will be done, considering that the broken railing has had a wooden board tied to it for years. I already sent my mother a message talking about it.

I enter the forest and start walking around. It's hot, of course, it's early summer, but it's quite noticeable after being in the cool inside the brick and stone house. That's the good thing about coming here in summer, the houses are made to stay cold inside and it's great, sometimes I even need to wear a jacket. But outside I'm dying, the trees don't provide enough shade. In fact, some trees are missing. I used to have my routes memorized but time has passed and some paths have changed, some have disappeared and others have formed. I admit that it makes me a little sad... I began to walk absorbed in my thoughts not paying attention to where I was going.

I'm walking away, I should go back. I'm not going to draw anything here anyway, and it's hotter outside than inside so I'm gonna to turn around-

I hear screams and laughter in the distance, the sound of the voices produces me an immediate disgust. It's those kids from the next door village. They must have come to 'investigate' about the disappearances or maybe they don't care and they just came to be idiots-

They're getting closer.

I don't want them to see me. God. Don't let them see me. Anyone but them. They're getting closser. Don't let them see me. I can't go back home now. They're cutting me off. Of all the people who could have found me. It had to be them. No, please. Don't let them see me. I have to go further into the forest, I can't let them see me. They're getting closer. Don't let them see me. I want to leave. I want to leave. I'm getting too far. I want to leave. I don't see my house. I want to leave. I don't see the village. I want to leave. I don't see the kids.

...

...

...

Where am I?

Fuck.

Where am I?

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

…

—

Now I'm wandering through the forest. I don't want to go back. I want to get out of here. Even though I'm walking in a straight line I feel like I'm going around in circles, and I'm not going to get out of here now. Great. I'm lost. Now what? People who get lost in this forest don't return, no one has returned except for some children.

...

I'm going to disappear.

...

For now I keep walking until something happens. Maybe there's an animal that kills people who get lost, or maybe it's a group of kidnappers, or maybe I should stop giving myself anxiety and focus on getting out of here. Maybe if I find a field or road, or even the tourist area, I'll be able to get out of here and return bordering the fores-

...

There is... colorful graffitis on the trees. Someone has painted eyes, hands, stars and more on the bark of the trees...

What's this?

I don't know where I've come to, I didn't know this was here, in the middle of nowhere in the forest. The trees have red leaves like in autumn even though summer has just started... The first thing I thought was 'climate change's fault' but there is something that stands out in the middle of this entire flat area and it is disturbing me.

In the center there is a kind of circular gate made of stones supported by roots.

Okay, maybe it doesn't sound aaaaas disturbing as, I don't know, a totem with a human figure being impaled or something, but it's giving me a bad vibe. What is this place? Who built a stone arch in the middle of everything and why?

A bird appears flying from behind me and goes through the gate, but nothing comes out on the other side... wait what? how? The bird has crossed the gate, and disappeared behind the stone arch? ...I had to imagine it, it's not possible that that happened. I approach the arch but not before picking up a rock from the ground and throwing it to the other side of the gate.

It's still there.

…

For some reason the thought of going through the gate makes me uncomfortable, so I go around it.

...

...And the rock? It's not there.

I go back and look from inside the portal.

The rock is there.

...

I look from outside. The rock is not there. I repeat this multiple times. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock... What?

Alright, this is weird, this is VERY weird.

Even though it is clear that this isn't normal, I have to go back, pick up a fallen branch from the ground and pass it through the portal. This time I don't throw it, I've grabbed a branch long enough to see it peek out from the other side of the arch.

...

Welp.

I should be seeing not only the branch, but also my hand sticking out of the side, but I'M NOT SEEING IT. OKAY. OK. ALRIGHT. IT'S CONFIRMED. THIS IS WEIRD.

I'm asleep, right? Or unconscious. I must have passed out from exhaustion from endlessly wandering through the woods and I'm delirious or something. No, wait, it can't be, in my dreams I'm not this aware of what's around me. Where am I?

A breeze begins to pass through the gate. It's getting stronger but not enough to push me. The leaves rise from the ground and float towards the portal, none slipping outside, all entering through the stone arch. Suddenly the breeze that had become wind stops. The leaves fall to the ground.

...

I look back for a moment, as if there was something behind me that could help me make a decision. Grabbing with both hands my bag strap I look back at the portal again. Okay. Alright. This is possibly the death of me. I'm going to cross. I'm going to go to the other side. I'm just one step away from crossing. I wrinkle my face and narrow my eyes before taking the last step.

...

Nothing has happened. Everything seems the same. However, I know it's not the same... Or at least it doesn't feel the same!

Well, I've already crossed. I'm gonna... keep walking, I guess, even though this is scaring me and I don't know if I'll know how to go back. For now I'm moving forward. The red leaves have disappeared several meters ago. It's starting to look like a normal forest, except for the multicolored drawings and handprints that I keep seeing on the trees. In fact, it seems like the trees are taller with every step I take. So high that I can barely see the top. I almost tripped while looking up. Whether this is the same forest I come from, I no longer know.

This was a bad idea. I just hope to find something that'll help me know where I am, a sign or the road if possible.

*cling*

...?

I hit something with my foot. There is a ball attached to a small chain on the ground. Oh, no, wait. *cling diring ding* It's a rusty bell, I think. It doesn't have the typical cross-shaped hole or slot, rather it has several holes in a pattern. It looks like it can be opened.

There's nothing inside.

?

There's nothing? But I could have sworn it had rang. I close it again and shake it.

*...*

Nothing.

I'm going to put it in the bag, it's totally a good idea. I'll think about it later, for now I'm moving on.

—

I've been walking for a while now and throughout this time I had a constant chill on the back of my neck, as if someone had their eyes on me.

*din dirring* I hear a soft tinkling in the distance.

Okay, I'm not alone, awesome, what do I do now? Do I say hi and risk the potential danger finding me? Do I ignore the sound of bells and keep moving? It's very possible that whatever made that sound is watching me right now...

“Hello?” Still nervous, I try to say hello looking around “...” “Is someone there? H-hello?”

“-HEEEEELLO!”

“AAAAAH-!” I cover my mouth with my hands as I turn to look at what the hell has greeted me back. I take a few steps back while I look at the figure of earthy and sunny tones who responded, he seems as surprised as I am, I think (with the scream I made, normal), at least it looks like he's surprised. He wears a two toned wooden mask... it looks like a sun, with a crescent moon on its right... It gives the impression of two faces merged into one... Damn, he is tall, he's almost doubles my size. He appears to have two skin tones dividing him in half, his right side being the lighter and the left darker, especially the arm, which also has a light-colored tattoo of lines representing a sun symbol that covers from the shoulder to the pectoral and to the middle of the bicep. The right arm is covered by a long fingerless glove that reaches to the shoulder and is tied around the chest. He's wearing baggy pants with leaves coming out of the waist and legs, some... cloth boots? with a long toe bending sharply and curving in a geometric swirl with a bell at the tips, a bag hangs from the waistband of his pants and falls below his hips. His chest and neck are tied by ropes decorated with hanging stones, metals and crystals, he wears a pendant that ends in a carved symbol of a crescent moon with rays. Some of the 'sunrays' on his mask have ropes tied between them holding them in place and some metal dangling. Some red ribbons along with bells hang from his wrists.

“um... Helloooooo.” He greets again, this time he lowers his tone of voice. I manage to react, I turn around and walk away. “¡ah- eh- Wait!” Nope, I'm not going to wait and see what he does with me, I'm leaving. “He-! Hey!” Nope. I quicken my pace and try to get lost among the trees, changing direction every time he appears in my vision angle. “Human? Human-! FRIEND. Can I call you friend?!” Nope, nope, nopnop, nop, nop, nope. “Friend! Hey!” God, no, god, god, no, why are you following me? “Look, I know what you're trying to look for...! And believe me, you're not going to find it~!” How are you still following me? Where do you come from? “Hey! Listen! Why don't we do something else besides running in circles!?” Noooooooooo... “There are TONS of other activities we could do! Like... HOLY MOLY, look at this stick! Do you like sticks!?” Leave me aloneee... “You aren't looking at it! Okay, alright, you don't like sticks, erm... what might be of interest to you...” If I don't look at it it doesn't exist. “Could you help me a little here?” I want to leave... “Look, no matter how much you wander around, you won't find the portal-!”

“STOP—! STOP FOLLOWING ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!” The sudden scream startles him again, making him jump in place. He stands completely still looking at me. I'm leaving before he gets angry.

“B-but I- ...okay.” I thought I heard him say before I left him behind.

It seems that this time he's not following me, finally... Although I'm not calm, he could still be following me and simply not be in sight. Anyway, I think I'm coming back? I hope I am. I want to find that portal as soon as possible and go back to the house- what the fu-? “WHY?”

He's there. Right where I left him. Sitting on a rock. Waiting. “...! I haven't moved from the spot!”

“Yeah- but- WHY?”

“Because I knew you were going to come back here!”

“...What?”

“Is what I was trying to tell you! You can't leave! No matter how hard you try to find the portal, it won't appear before you!” The Sunman exclaimed.

“…” I'm just about to turn around. In fact, I'm already turning around.

“N-No, wait! Please don't go!” I stop in my track and look back at him. He gets off the rock he was sitting on but remains squatting, almost at my height, a little below. I move back, keeping my distance. He puts his hands up. “Look, I'm not doing anything! I won't chase you! Just- ...don't go.”

“…”

“L-look, listen, there's no way it's going to show up! Well, not to you at least. But even if you find it back, it won't work! It only works when it wants to work.”

“...” Let's imagine that I trust what he says “Ok... and when does it want to be working?”

“...” “No idea!”

“...”

“...”

I'm about to collapse on the spot. At least he doesn't seem hostile, for now. “...” “Okay... Good... Great...” “...” “FanTAS-tic.”

“...” “You don't seem like it.”

*ಠ_ಠ* I could only look to the side in frustration in response to that. I looked back at him with concern showing on my face and grabbing the strap of my bag with both hands. “And... what... do you plan to do with me?”

He took his hand to the chin of his mask and with the other he held his elbow in a comical thoughtful pose. “MmmmnnDUN know! What do you plan to do?” He asked so nonchalantly. He ended up sitting on the ground crossing his legs. “You have a good while until the portal opens again...!”

“...”

“...”

“...”

He started swaying. The silence has become uncomfortable for a while now, but I can't organize myself on what to say, and I don't know if I trust him. I don't even know if he's human, although something tells me he's not.

“You could wait here.” He suggested, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Or anywhere else, if you want. I would recommend somewhere high like the treetops (for no particular reason)! If you're going to wait... But wouldn't that be really boring?” There was something in his tone of voice... “Being there... at the top of a tree... waiting... alone... with no friends to hang out with (can I call you a friend?). Aaall on your own until the portal opens again.” He looks aside for a moment “...” And back at me again. “With no one to be with you.” He repeats the head motion “...” “alone...” Wow... I wonder what he's implying, ahem. “Wouldn't you want to have someone...? ...Someone...keeping you company?” Yeah, yeah...

“...” I guess... “I-I guess I wouldn't want to be alon-?”

He rises to his knees. “That's what I thought! Do you want me to accompany you? Only if you want! But can I?” He clasped his hands together as if asking a favor.

“um...”

“Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?” He approaches, dragging his knees on the ground.

I'm starting to miss personal space. “Okay! Okay, alright...”

“REALLY?” He started hopping and jumping around me. “OH, ohoho hO! Great! Oh, there are TONS of things we could do! Like... Like...!” He moves faster, doing bigger and bigger flips and jumps, it almost seems that he is very light, as if the breeze of air lifted him. “We could paint and decorate trees! Or we can also paint on rocks! Or paint leaves! Or paint us! Oh! We can tell stories! I'm very good at making shadows and puppets.” He moves from place to place with each sentence he says. “We can also play something!” It's moving so fast all I can see is the wind and the leaves it stirs up as it moves. “Anything! Whatever you want!” Finally he stopped in front of me half crouched. “What do ya say?! Hmm! Friend!?”

“Don't... call me like that.” Makes me feel awkward.

“Oh...why not-? Oh true, true! How silly, I don't know your name! What do you call yourself, potential friend?”

“...”

“...” “Aren't... you gonna tell me your name?”

I twist the bag strap “Depends...” I must say I'm a little skeptical about this. “Are there any consequences for telling you my name?”

“...Consequences...?”

“Like... I don't know... Mmm-by telling you my name I become your possession and cannot regain my freedom until... certain conditions are met...”

“...”

“...”

“Why- how-? Where did you get that from!?” It did sound a bit stupid when I said it out loud.

“I dunno- that's what they say in old children's stories about elves and fairies!” I just hope the embarrassment isn't showing on my face.

“Really?” I could feel his deadpan expression behind the mask.

I shrugged.

“...” “Okay... Oh, what if I tell you my name first? Will you tell me yours? It's only fair, I'm Sun!”

“...”

“Can I know your name now?” He asked expectantly.

“...How do I know you're not trying to trick me?”

“...” I must be driving him crazy with this “The only thing I can do with your name is treasure it in my memory.” He put his hands together as if he was carefully holding something and brought them to the forehead of the mask. I gave him a distrustful look. It doesn't seem like it made him desist “Please?”

I grip at my worn out bag strap “...” “ Fern...” I ended up murmuring.

“Hmm? Fern? OH, I like it!” “Sounds like FRIEND.” He emphasized the last word by making a gesture like jazz hands, leaning to the side and moving his head closer to me.

“Yeah... I think you are missing a couple of letters.”

He straightened his posture again. “Nope, I don't think so!”

“You're still not my friend.”

“Oooowwwwwnnnnnggghhh” He lowers his head dramatically until it practically touches the ground “nnnnnnngggghh, alright!” And cartwheels to stand up again “So... what will it be?”

“Hm?”

He straightened his posture and puts his arms on his hips “We have plenty of time, ya? What do you wanna to do?”

“I don't know, what do you want to do-?” Bad mistake.

“Come with me!”

“aaAAAAA-!” Before I knew it, he had grabbed my arm and I was being dragged through the woods. We visited several places and he offered me an activity to do in each of them.

—

Sun took me to a place where the trees were full of colorful paint “We practice painting on the trees here!” He said.

“Ah.” That explains the crossed out lines and the repeated imperfect shapes. By the look of it is also where he tests the quality of the paint.

“Do you want us to paint something!?”

“Not really...”

“Oh, would you prefer it to be on a rock?”

“Nah.”

“...And in star leaves-?”

“I don't want to paint, Sun.”

“Oh... Well, I can show you more places!”

“OkayyEEEEEE-” And I'm being dragged away again.

—

He brought me to another area of the forest, the ground here seemed more leveled. Not a single tree was straight, all of them were twisted and even seemed to be hollow. “How about playing something!? Like hide and seek-! No, wait, I can’t let you out of my sight.” He mumbled at the end “And chase?! We can climb a tree and see who reaches the top first! We have a place full of vines and it's perfect for swinging- and jumping from one tree to another-!”

“I don't... really want to move a lot…” With the way he runs without getting tired and me, who doesn't exercise... he would let me dead.

“Oh... well, theeen-”

—

We arrived at a place full of vegetation and humidity. Sun seemed quite excited... “This place is full of insects! We can look for cool bugs!”

“Mmmmmnoooo... I don't want to.” I had to tell him, trying to show as little disinterest as I could.

“You don't like them?” He sounded a little disappointed hearing my reaction.

“No, I do like them, some of them, but I don't like to touch them.” And I'm terrified of them flying into my face.

“Oh, well, it's okay!” He said brushing it off and we moved on to the next stop.

—

“I know that bird!” He stopped us on the way to point at a robin high up on a branch.

“ah.” I said as I removed leaves from my hair and clothes, and checked that I still had my glasses.

“He's a little rascal!”

“...” I think the bird is making us the equivalent of 'mooning'.

—

“Look fish-! Oh, they're gone…” The noise must have scared them away “We can go find more places to look at them if you want!”

“...” “...no, pass...”

“…”

—

“Look at this stick!” Sun had suddenly sprinted past me, picked up something from the ground, and came back just as fast, showing me the stick as if it were a sword.

“oh.” It's a cool stick, must admit it.

“Do you want to look for more sticks!?”

“No...”

“oh...” He looked at the ground in disappointment.

“Why would we go looking for sticks? There are all over the ground.” Specifically, in this area the ground was all sticks. We are literally just stepping on sticks right now. I don't see the ground.

“Variety!” Sun said pointing at the ground with both hands. A branch is heard falling in the distance.

—

“That's a deer!” He pointed at the deer passing nearby. The deer stopped to look at us.

“Yeah, I see.”

“We call 'em Adoquín!”

“...Why is it called Adoquí-?”

*THUMP!*

“…”

The deer smacked itself against a tree when trying to run away. It stands still for a minute, processing the hit, looks at a side and then the other, then runs off again but this time avoiding the tree.

Another *thump!* is heard in the distance.

“...” Alright.

—

“Do you wannaaaa look for pine cones? There will be some fallen around here. Oh! We can also look for mushrooms!”

I keep saying no to everything he suggests and it doesn't look like he's going to run out of ideas to pass the time. In fact, he's very insistent that we do something. I guess at some point I'll have to say yes to something. “...” “...okay...”

“Hmm?! Okay? Okay to what?” His exaggerated surprise offends me but I don't blame him.

“To... I don't know, pine cones?”

“...You don't look very convinced.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“OKAY! On the hunt for pine cones then!” I startle a little at the sudden shout. He makes a pose pointing in a direction, as if he were leading an expedition.

He takes me through the forest looking for pine cones. We aren't finding many, especially me who's not paying any interest. He tries encouraging me to put more effort into it but I keep looking at my boots.

We passed near a shingle river. I find a pebble at my feet and bend down to pick it up and take a better look. It's like a bluish gray, it has some reddish lines in the shape of waves, it feels good to the touch.

I hear the soft tinkling of a bell and feel a shadow fall beside me. “You like pebbles?” Sun is crouched next to me with his arms full of pine cones.

“…” I nod.

We go down to the river and spend some time collecting pebbles with curious shapes or small details of colors, lines, spots, etc. He comes over to show me one every time he finds weird shapes.

“…”

*rin* This time he's hunched over resting his hands on his knees. “You look… a little down.”

“…”

“Hey... we can do something else if you're tired of the pebbles.”

“...” I drop the pebbles I was looking at on the ground.

“...” He turns his gaze from me to the sky. It hasn't gotten late enough to be getting dark, but it's been a while between the walks we've taken (dragging me from here to there), looking for pine cones and then pebbles in the river. He looks back at me. “Oh, I know! Can I take you to one last place? A better place than the ones I've shown you!”

“…” I got up from the ground and waited for him to start leading to follow him.

We enter the increasingly thick forest. The trees are taller and bigger, in fact, I start to see platforms and bridges lying between the trees, I even see small shanties in them.

“Wait here!” He takes a run and jumps onto one of the trees with bridges. He takes three steps running up the tree, with a jump he pushes himself off and climbs with agility until he reaches the platform and climbs on it. “Just a moment!” It can't be seen from here but I can faintly hear some squeaks. I have no idea of what he's doin-

*rush*

“........eh?”

A rope.

A rope has fallen. At the level of my head.

“.......”

What?

…

He said he knew a better place.

No. It can't be this.

“Is it at a good height?! Can you reach it?!” He says...

It can't be.

A better place.

He can't be referring to this.

A better place.

A better place. A better place. A better place. A better place.

“Can you put your foot in?!”

“..........” For some reason what he said throws me off. “WAT-?”

“Can you put your foot in the loop and hold on to the rope so I can pull you up!?”

“..............”

“You can't climb trees, can you?! ...or you can?"

… “...” Oh “....It's...It's too high!”

“Okay!” Squeaks are heard and the rope descends to the ground.

I put my foot into the rope as he told me and hold on to it. “O-okay...!”

“Are you ready!?”

“Yes!”

“Okay!”

He begins to pull up the rope (which doesn't tighten around my foot as it supports my weight) and helps me up to the platform. (That's what it was for, obviously, what else would he want? I'm such an...) “Come on!” He says cheerfully, as always, and takes me over the bridges. “You seem tense... Don't tell me you're afraid of heights!”

“S-something like that... it's nothing.” He tilts his head at that but he says nothing. I have an unpleasant sensation in my throat.

We arrived at a high place with a view of waterfalls, I can't see above the trees. We sat on one of the bridges, resting our arms on the rope that serves as a railing and letting our legs hang off the bridge. I've thought about taking out the sketchbook to draw... but I don't really feel like it right now, so I just quietly observe the landscape. It is a better place, yeah.

…

I feel watched. I turn to look at him ...Of course he was looking at me. I don't even know whether to say something or keep quiet. ...I decide... not to say anything and look to the front.

“You... aren't very talkative, huh.”

“…”

“Not that it's a bad thing! Many people who have come here weren't very talkative at first either.” More people...

“...” “I have… nothing to talk about.” I don't want to talk.

“...” “Well, I do.”

“…”

“If it's okay with you, of course.” He laughed. Although something tells me that he is going to talk anyway.

“…”

“...” “What brings you to the forest?”

“...” Really? “I got lost.”

“Yeah, I already know!” He says between laughs “But what made you get lost?”

“...” “There was a group of kids I didn't want to get close to and I decided to go into the woods to lose them.” He makes a 'hum' sound and looks at me expectantly waiting for me to continue “And... I ended up getting myself lost...”

“...” “Only that?”

“...” “Well, yeah.” What do you mean 'oNlY tHaT'?

“...Mmm...” He places his hand on the chin of the mask.

“...” “What?”

“Nothing!” “...” “You know? You're the first human to visit the forest in a loooong time. For several cycles now…”

“Cycles?”

“Mhm” He nods.

“...What are cycles?”

Sun points to the sky “The turns that the Moon makes in the sky!” He emphasizes by rotating his arm in the air. It's pointing right at the Moon that's visible in the sky.

“Oh...” He uses the lunar cycles to know what day he's in, makes sense. “...” “So no one has been here in a while.”

“That's what I said! Well no, but yes!”

“A-and so the humans who came are still here? Have they been here all this time?”

“Yeah...! Well, no!” He paused. “They're gone!”

“What do you mean they're-?” He didn't let me finish the question.

“They are gone! They 'left'!” It sounded like he had given this answer many times already.

“What do you mean they left-?”

“They 'left'!”

“...” “...You mean...they disappear-?”

“Nope!” “...” “Something like that!” “…” “Mmmore or less…” He hesitated between one answer and another.

It seemed worthless to ask about the missing people. “...okay.” “Can I ask you-?”

“You can ask me anything!” A hint of nervousness escaped his tone.

“...okay. What is this forest?”

“My home! And the home of many other animals.”

“...” “Alright, and... how many are you...? How many of you live here? I mean. You have taken me everywhere and we haven't seen anyone of your…” I make a pointing gesture, spinning my hand around in the air. He can't be human, it doesn't look like he is. “...” “Honestly, I don't know what you are.”

“...” “There's only me... And someone else!” He looks away, as if trying to hide something.

“Oh... and who's that someone?”

“Oh! N-no, don't worry! He’s… just a friend… But it’s not important that you meet him or anything!” He brushes it off making a gesture with his hand. “Uh-um- How about we talk about you!? huh? What things do you like? Earlier, since you said no to everything, I thought you didn't like ANYTHING!” He continued talking without letting me respond. “I didn't know what to do if I ran out of ideas. I started to worry! But at least you're not one of those who spend all day shouting and threatening with a weapon in hand, ahaha...” He let out a nervous laugh.

“Um-”

“Well, you ran away screaming, yes.” He began to gesticulate widely as he complained “Like everyone-! No, not like everyone, some don't run, but those who, apart from running and screaming, attack you...! I mean...!” Something tells me he wasn't going to shut up and I was already half listening. “First they throw rocks at my head, then they insult me and run away. And I have to run after them because I can't just leave a human running around alone! No! I can't! Not in this forest! Anything could happen to them! But they never let me warn them!” He sounded tired. “And when I get them to stop running away from me, they throw things at me again and yell before demanding me to tell them where are they and how to get out of here, and when I explain it, they yell at me even more and accuse me of lying!” He turns to look at me with his hands pointing to his chest. “What reason would I have to lie?!” I don't know if he hasn't noticed or if he's ignoring the deapan I responded with. “UGH! I don't know what to do with those! But anyhow... I'm so glad we found something to do in the end!

“eh?” I snap out of my thoughts. It seems that now he is directing the conversation to me.

“The pebbles!” He sits turning his body towards me, leaving one single leg hanging from the bridge and the other resting on it. He takes out of his pocket some of the pebbles that he had been collecting with me. “I don't know why I assumed you wouldn't want to look for rocks. Maybe because you didn't want to paint them before... You left them back in the river in the end tho, I thought you would keep some.”

“Ah... I don't know. I didn't think I could take them with me.”

“You can keep some of mine!”

“No, it's okay.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“You suuuuure??” He insist.

“Yeees.”

He puts a pebble very close to my face “Suuuuuuuure?” Each 'u' sounding higher than the last.

“...” I push the pebble away from my face “Yeeeees.”

“mmmh... Okay! But I hope you don't regret it later when you don't have a cool rock like these and think 'Oh man, I could have a cool rock right now!'.” After a bad impression of me, he keeps the rocks in his pants. “So... Besides pebbles, what else do you like? Mm? I haven't been able to deduce much from today.”

“Don't know.”

“What do you mean you don't know!? Oh! Is it a secret?” He approaches and starts to whisper, putting his hands to the mask's mouth “I won't tell anyone, promise.”

“No. I don't know.” I looked to the side. “I can't think of anything... so suddenly.”

“ooow...” He slumps a little over the railing, looking sad.

“…” I hesitate whether to say something or not “...Drawing...”

“Mmm?!” He no longer seems sad.

“And listening to music, I guess.” “It's... all I do... most of the time.”

“Really!? Oh! I also like drawing! And music! But is that really all you do all day? Don't you do other kinds of things? Like reading! Or writting. Don't you go out for a walk or play with your friends?” I wrinkle my face at that last bit and he tilts his head in confusion.

“I don't go out.” “I have comics, but I rarely read.”

“Comics?”

“Um... They are stories but instead of narrating what happens there are drawings and only what the characters say is written.”

“...It's a book with drawings?”

“Yeah, but with a lot of drawings on each page, from start to finish.”

“WOAH.” He sounded perplexed. “That's drawing A LOT.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Ahh, I'd love to see what they look like.” He rested his arm on the railing to hold his head in his hand “Too bad I can't…”

“I didn't bring them anyway.”

“Do you normally carry them around?”

“No, it's just that I didn't bring them to the village with me, I left them at home.”

“...” “Oh!” It seems that something has clicked on him. “You are not from the village.”

“No, I'm from a more urban area. My family used to come to the village every year in the summer, but we stopped coming. Now it seems that we are trying to get back into the habit.” I sighed.

“Why did you stop coming?”

“...That's personal.”

“Oh... okay.” He let a minute of awkward silence pass. “Hey, I can bring some books that I have at home! I think you might be interes-!” He looks away from me to the sunset behind us, the sun is almost gone. “-ted...” I look at the sunset too and then at him with confusion. “...” “...oh...oh-OH, Oh-no!” He stands up abruptly causing the bridge to shake slightly. What could have he seen? “We have to move!” He extends a hand to help me up. “We have to start moving!”

I get up in a hurry on my own, ignoring his hand. “O-okay, to where?”

“Come, run!” Once again he grabs me by the arm and leads me over the bridges between the trees until we reach a tree hut. It's small and dark, it looks like a small shelter. He opens the door and enters “You'll spend the night here, stay inside, do not go out, try to hide well and don't open the windows or doors, okay? Here, there are some blankets. I'll come back later.”

“Wait wait wait! What? What do you mean you'll come back later? What's happening? Why do I have to hide-!?”

“Sssh-ssh-sh” He grabs me and covers my hand with his, his left hand resting on the back of my right hand. He begins to speak in a calmer tone, with a voice that I had not heard him use until now. “It's okay, nothing happens. I have to go, I'll come back, but I can't stay now. You hide, try to rest, I'll be back, I promise.”

“...” I take my hand away from his. “Okay.” “I'll stay, but don't take too long.” Please, I don't want to be here alone.

“Yes. I'll be back.” He affirmed one last time. I watch him run away and disappear among the trees and undergrowth. I enter the small shelter to inspect it.

*TAP TAP TAP* *PLOK* *TAP TAP FOOSSSH! *

…? A noise comes from behind me. I turn around and there's a pebble on the floor.

…

Okay.

I take out my phones flashlight to see better inside the house. There are what appear to be some trunks, small cabinets, and a trapdoor in the floor, It seems that there are corners and blind spots for the windows where the little moonlight that enters through the cracks cannot reach. It's freezing cold and I haven't brought my jacket. I leave the bag on the floor against the wall, I cover myself with the blanket and curl up in a ball in the most hidden corner I can find. I'm tired, I want to sleep, but I can't close my eyes.

…

—

It's been a few hours now.

…

I can't sleep, I simply can't.

…

It doesn't look like he's coming back.

*creek*

…?

*rin*

*tap tap, creek*

Sun?

“S-...” I pause before saying a word, I have the feeling I shouldn't speak. I remain silent and wait.

*tap, tap, tap, creeeeeek, tap*

*rin dirrin*

If it were Sun he would have already let me know it is him. That or he's playing a prank on me which isn't funny, but I'd better stay silent. From the shadow I look at the windows. I notice movement through the cracks, something has just passed through the wall next to me.

*dirriring dirring*

I cover myself more with the blanket, back against the wall, I stay as still as I can, I leave a gap between the blankets and the floor to see. A red glow sneaks through the cracks in the window and scans the room.

…

The glow is gone.

*tap, tap, rin, tap, dirring, tap, tap*

It's on the roof.

…

*tap, tap, tap...*

It moves again.

*rin *

…

It sounded on the other side of the wall.

…

…

“nghehe...”

It laughed. Why did it laugh? Whatever is on the other side of the wall just let out a laugh that made the hairs on the back of my neck and all over my back rise.

…

Oh no.

Oh no no no no no no no no.

I have to move. I have to get out of here. I can't stay here.

*creeek*

It came from the door. It's trying to get in.

*rin*

The trapdoor.

*rin dirring*

Where was the trapdoor?

*creek creeeek*

I crawl across the floor making the minimum noise, carefully feeling the floor, looking for the edge of the door.

*tap tap ring dirring*

…!

I found it. I open it carefully. It's too high. I'm at a very high altitude, I don't know if I'll be able to go down.

*rin, creeek...*

…

Fuck it. I slip through the gap quietly, closing it slowly, but that doesn't stop the door from creaking. I cling to the bark of the tree-

…

I left my bag. If it comes in and see it it'll know for sure that I have been there-

…

It doesn't matter now. I have to focus on getting down from the tree without killing myself. My fingers hurt and I can't put my foot down properly because of the soles of my boots. I feel like I'm going to slip at any moment. Somehow I make it to the ground. Still attached to the tree, I look up at the house. I don't see it-

…

A shadow appears from behind the tree. I press myself against the tree and hold my breath. It's looking for something. When he doesn't seem to look I move to a nearby tree, he moves to another tree, I move to the next, and the next, and the next. We continue like this until I start to get further and further away from him. When I think I've lost him I start running. I hide behind a tree to catch my breath.

…

I slowly peek out from behind the tree.

*rin*

…

It sounded above me.

…

I don't look up, I run.

“nnghehee...” He laughs.

He gives me a few seconds advantage before coming after me. The chase begins.

I run forward as much as I can, I hear his footsteps behind me but I don't look back, there's no time for that. I hear him laughing like a madman as he moves from left to right, from one tree to another, crawling on the ground, trying to confuse me, waiting for me to make the slightest mistake to catch me.

“Ah-” I trip. As soon as I fall to the ground I get up, ripping my stockings and scraping my knees, falling again, my nerves not letting me stand up.

“Nnhehehhehe...” Asshole. He has stopped running, he approaches by walking. I try to keep as much distance as my hands and legs allow me to move. I search desperately with my hand for something on the ground to throw. Finally my hand finds something.

I throw a rock at him “AGH!”

The rock passes by him, flying one or two meters away from him. He hasn't even moved, he didn't move a single muscle to avoid it, he just watches me still from where he is. I hear the nearby *pof* of the rock falling to the ground.

“...”

“...”

…

I get up and run. He grabs my leg and I fall to the ground again. He won't let me get up, every time I try he throws me to the ground. I struggle, I kick, but I don't break free from his grip. He never stops laughing, he is enjoying this. He drags me closer to him, no matter how much I twists, he doesn't let go. “ACKH-!...Hhhh-hh...-hh-h...” He grabs me by the neck, red pupils stared at me, I'm looking straight into his crescent moon mask (or waning, I don't know. Do you think I care right now?). He raises his free hand and his veins begin to glow a platinum color that extends to his fingertips. The hand approaches my face, I don't know what it's going to do to me, I'm scared, I don't want to look. I close my eyes, cover my face with my hands. I wait.

…

…

…?

Nothing's happening. It stopped. Why?

“Mun, nïe.” I hear Sun's voice. I open my hands a little to see what's going on. Indeed, it is Sun, several meters away from us... He looks exhausted. The one with the moon mask stares at him for a moment, until he decides to look at me again while bringing his glowing veiny hand closer. “¡Mun!” The Moonman looks at Sun again “Fehreh.” He seems to speak another language, I don't understand what he says.

“...” “Nïe” For the first time I hear him say something else besides laughing. Even though I can't understand him.

“Fïer pehgïer.” Sun responds.

“...” Moonman remains silent again.

“Bïelïe óubseh góuh...” Sun continues.

“Móu txehb móunsuvïe.” The Moon responds.

“Lïe bóu ¿Sóundïe mïesugïeb fehreh nïe txehtehrlïe?”

…

The air feels tense. Probably because of the hand grabbing my neck.

“¿Zkaóu fuóunbehb txehtóur tkaehnvïe nïe bóueh mehb zkaóu ïesreh rehuh óunsóurrehveh óun leh suóurreh?” Longest sentence I've heard him say so far.

“...” “Fïer óubseh góuh.” “...” “Vóuyehmóu óuntehrdehrmóu vóu óulleh” Sun takes a step forward “Nïe suóunóu fïer zkaóu ehtehkehr ehbu” Another step forward “Nïe sóunóumïeb fïer zkaóu txehtóurlóub... óubsïe” Another step “Óullïeb bïelïe óubsehn... fóurvuvïeb.”

“...” There's no response from the moon man.

“Behkehb tïemïe óub óubïe.”

“...”

…

The hand that grabbed my neck now grabs my shirt and yanks it. I grab his wrist as he pulls me to my feet and drags me to Sun, making me stumble. He throws me against him. Sun catches me before I fall over.

“Ska óubpkaóurhïe óub óun gehnïe.” The moon says something as he walks past. Sun puts a hand on his shoulder before letting him go, there's a pause between the two. The Moonman disappears into the trees. Wind and leaves are heard passing by.

…

He's gone. I feel dizzy. I fall down.

—

…

…

…

A faint light begins to seep through the cracks, illuminating enough to wake me up and make me open my eyes, I look around. I see my bag propped against the wall. I'm at the shelter where Sun left me.

…

My body aches, I have a hard time keeping my eyes open, it feels like I've been sleeping on the hard floor. No, wait, there are some blankets underneath me... It's still too hard to sleep well, either that or as I said, it shouldn't help me at all that everything hurts. After a while of staring at the ceiling I try to sit up. I emphasize trying. With every slight effort a pained moan escapes me.

“Oof...” Hurts.

*creek, tap tap tap tap*

Those wood creaks bring back bad memories from last night (which by the way, I'm alive, wow, I just realized), I can't help but cringe at every noise, I hear footsteps approaching, I try to move but the stinging pain prevents me from it.

*creek... *

The door opens.

Triangular shapes appear through the door followed by orange earth tones. “…Oh…!” “Early bird!” Thank god it's Sun and not the other one, or something worse “I didn't expect you up this early!” He says laughingly.

“ah?”

“How are you feeling?” He walks in. When he sets foot inside I lean back, towards the wall. “...” I don't really know why I did that. Sun stands at the door showing confusion with his usual head tilt. “...Arrr...re you okay, Fern?”

“...” I became tense suddenly. I really don't know still if I can trust him? He hasn't done anything to me yet but that doesn't mean that I can trust him. I don't know if he plans to do something with me like whatever that other one, the moon one, was going to do last night. “...ehh...hhh...h...” I can't get a word out, I'm afraid to ask.

“Mm?”

“...” I don't know what to say to him. My eyes go somewhere else.

…

He enters further into the house, ignoring that I keep my distance from him, leaves a bag he was carrying on the floor and begins to open the windows, letting in the little light of the dawn that is just beginning. He kneels on the floor in front of me with the bag. “Are you hungry?” He opens the bag and takes out an apple “Do you like apples?”

“...”

“No?”

“...”

“Um... I also brought berries... (It's what I had on hand coming here) There are... different types, you can choose” He brings the bag closer to me. I move further away. “uhhh...”

“...” I want to leave.

“You don't like them either...?”

“...” I don't want to eat. I want to leave.

“...”

“*snif... *”

“u-um...!”

“...*snif* *sob*...” I started crying out of nowhere.

“Ahhh...! D-do- don't cry! Ah-I-Um- Ca-can go find other things you might like-!”

I felt ashamed for crying and I put my hands to my face trying to wipe away the tears, but they wouldn't stop coming. “*hic, sniff, snif *” I looked away in an attempt to cover my face. I ended up looking at the floor, letting my hair act as a curtain.

“I can go in a moment!” Sun was already getting up.

“...w-want to leave...” I managed to get a murmur out.

“...W-what? Um...”

“...” *hic, hic *

“O-okay, um... If you aren't hungry... -we can do something else- uh- we can go look for rocks like yesterday in the river!”

“...” I don't want to do anything “...want to leave...”

“O-or we can do something else! Ah-bah-b-b-b- W-won't you like to go draw??! Somewhere, some landscape?! Wherever you want! We can draw together! If you prefer we can look for animals instead of landscapes!”

“...leave...want to...go... *hic, snif *”

“¡D-don't n- uh! ¡L-let's... um- let's not- uh!” He no longer knew how to order his words “H-hey, ¿Why don't we go to-?” He extends his hand towards my arm.

“I want to go home...”

He stops before touching me and removes his hand. “...” “...home?” There is a pause. He remains silent and unmoving. He finally speaks “Do you want…?” His tone became more serious.

“...”

“...to... go see the portal?” I look up slightly, I can't see through the tears and the fogged lenses of my glasses.

“...” I nod my head.

—

…

We didn't walk far until the red began to become visible. He brought me back to the portal. The same plain of red leaves and stone arch in the center of it all, as yesterday.

…

Sun has been quiet the entire time.

He advances towards the portal and stands facing it. He turns. “Come.” He extends his hand towards me. “You can pass through.”

“...”

I advance towards the portal. I stop before crossing. If it doesn't take me back home, what do I do? I don't want to stay.

A breeze begins to come out of the portal. The breeze turns to wind, the leaves rise, they pass through us. It's the same thing that happened yesterday when I went to cross. I turn to face Sun. Motionless, he looks back at me, the leaves pause in the air for a second as if time has stopped, the wind changes. From where the wind and leaves came now they come in, they push me towards the portal. I finally cross it.

…

Am I in the forest I know? I turn to look at Sun who stayed behind in the portal. “...Sun?” He's not there. I look around. He's not here. I've already crossed the portal, he must have left.

I notice a sudden draft pass by me. It's soft, like someone walking past you. I turn towards the forest, I have to start moving, I don't want to be here another minute.

...The air current that I noticed has lifted some leaves, they reach the trees, between them the wind does something strange, it forms a transparent silhouette. It looks like Sun, I can barely see him but I could swear it's him. The wind figure raises its hand and makes a gesture, it wants me to follow it. When I approach it turns around and walks into the forest, leaving a trail of leaves behind it. I follow the trail of the air current. Sometimes it stops to look at me, making sure I'm still following it. The red-leafed trees and the paintings disappear from view the farther we go. We crossed the forest until we arrived at the entrance of the town, near my house. There is no one on the street. If I walked into the house and pretended nothing had happened, officially no one would have noticed my absence.

I'm not one hundred percent sure if the wind figure that guided me is Sun or not, but I should at least thank him for bringing me back.

…

The air current has dissipated before I turn around. I look around, there's no one.

…

…

…

I enter the house, go up to my room and throw the bag on the floor. I go to the bathroom to wash. …I feel something strange in my hands but I couldn't say what. Doesn't matter. I change my clothes and get into bed, the tiredness of the previous night makes my body succumb immediately and I fall asleep instantly.

—

…

…

…

“ah...!” I wake up with my lungs begging for air. I need a moment to calm my breathing. I look at the clock without lifting my head from the pillow.

…

It is 12 midday. I rub my eyes and from my eyes I move to my face. I'm still tired. My body still aches. I stare at the ceiling.

…

My bag. I reach out to pick it up from the floor, making strange positions so as not to get out of bed.

I open it and search in the pockets. The bell. I put the bell to my ear. “...” I shake it.

*rin, diring diring*

“...”

I open it.

…

It's empty.

[erme-maererme]

the funny thing about dragon age is that sometimes the narrative of the game is aware of the narrative of the chantry and separates itself from it, and sometimes the narrative of the chantry becomes the narrative of the game, and it just keeps hopping back and forth in this respect. which not so subtly points to who the writing identifies with and in what contexts.

there's a degree of absurdity to reading codex entries such as "turned the purity of justice into the unthinking hatred of vengeance". it could have worked if it were just the chantry/other characters/even anders himself saying it, but character codex entries are held as the ultimate truth of the game (on par with game mechanics instructions via codex), this particular passage is supposed to function as an argument and explain to the player who anders is. but i argue that it only makes sense within a very particular paradigm. why are "justice" and "vengeance" treated as opposites? why is justice pure and vengeance an "unthinking hatred"? how is the line between the two defined? who defines it?

it is not surprising exactly, christianity and the concomitant discourse have been deeply embedded in the story from the very beginning, but one must keep an eye out for when it rears its head unquestioned by the narrative of the games.

sure, there are instances when the games are critical of the chantry and what it represents, or at least offer the player some roleplaying options in this respect. same for the fade-related things, you have merril’s “spirits are people” which denies this division into demons and spirits as bad and good emotions, in dai you have cole and solas's interpretaion that goes somewhat beyond the chantry's taxonomy of demons.

ultimately, however. cole "the good spirit" or "not really a spirit anymore" lets the templar who killed him (and how many more?) go either way. this is what humanity means, this is what true compassion means, forgive and forget. solas's interpretation merely increases the number of categories of spirits and demons, he still separates them into morally good and bad emotions/concepts. it is curiously close to what has previously been held as the chantry's teachings.

merril is portrayed as eventually proven wrong by the narrative, a pride demon outsmarts her and forces her to kill the keeper and the rest of the clan.

interestingly, other than anders, merril is the only other character (and the two of them are your two main mage companions in da2) whose doom is brought on by a demon. a demon of pride to punish you for trying to restore your culture that has been systematically and most violently erased. a demon of vengeance to bring on your execution for resisting the oppression and annihilation of your people. the conclusion to draw here, other than "trying to change the status quo ends badly, so don't you try anything", is also that the chantry's interpretation was right. and it is quite curious as well that despite blood magic being much more accepted among the dalish (the keeper herself is a blood mage too) than under andrastianism, they treat merril with such hostility for it. or for trying to restore the eluvian. why do they suddenly agree with the chantry?

1 the existence of the blighted magisters (the architect, corypheus), the elves (i'm sorry the elven empire and the evanuris) now being responsible for the blight is also how the chantry was definitely right about something

then, there's the whole schtick with “oh this particular feeling/experience is A Sin”. directly borrowed from the christian tradition. so we have desire demons. and pride demons. the rage demon in the fade who was a mage just way too angry at the oppressors (i reference this note here).

in conclusion, while dragon age offers some room about spirits and demons and the chantry, enough for your alternative interpretation of the text to be a time well spent, the hauptnarrative, the leading idea, remain such as they are. when it matters, the chantry stops being merely a speaker position (that is, one of many perspectives) in the tapestry of thedas. its point of view, its mode of knowing the world is how information is revealed to the player. oh, the chantry meets the sky, why? well, you see, the guy who was fighting to save his people is just too possessed by a demon now, that is the reason. this is where our story has been heading the entire time. a pity the mages could not find a compromise with the fantasy stand-in for fascists templars who intended to kill them all just for existing because of this guy. you are expected to sympathize with the chantry and elthina specifically (sebastian spells it out for you, that's why he is there), it is supposed to be the last straw for hawke to stop supporting anders, this should be a step too far.

it is the sentiment the player might have in relation to the real life equivalent of the chantry that is expected to prevail over your knowledge of elthina's direct complicity and the chantry's ideological and physical support of the oppression that are responsible for creating a regime where it is normalized to order people into prisons to later kill them all without consequence simply for the way they were born. importantly, i mean this not necessarily and solely in the sense of being religious, but in terms of how the player is expected to view hegemonic institutions. within a dominant reading the receiver interprets a text the same way the author does, they have the same blind spots, they define common sense the same way. if we identify the said blind spots and the aspects of the story that are treated uncritically by the narrative, we can glean on the culture (with its ideological dimension) in which the text was made.

2 it has been said before that the most interesting explorations of oppression that dragon age allowed are largely a by-product of the writing approach focused on representing different points of view and allowing a vast range of player choices. it made the games well-written, it did not make them unbiased

3 if everything else is not a hint enough, there is textual evidence that the portrayal of the templars in da2 was inspired by fascism, "the tranquil solution" and "death-squads" are very pointed references to nazis. and then they turn around and expects me to disagree with anders about mage rights. it is absolutely no wonder that the fandom is so divided about him

4 and elthina is certainly complicit. she appointed meredith, she could have removed her from her position (it wasn't just cullen's right to do so), she could have supported the mages. and it's the chantry that promotes this violence, gives it justification and orders it. it is the system elthina is quite successful in and the one that grants the templars the right to enact the annulment

i have set out to write this to explain to myself the dissonance that follows my experience of playing the games, my freedom for interpretation comes with the constant awareness of the story's own views. to recount, in this essay i've established how, despite its occasional attempts to criticize the chantry as a system and analyze various perspectives on it, dragon age treats its narrative as the ultimate truth. the magical lore is regularly used to affirm a point being made about power relations between oppressed groups and the oppressor. they converge to illustrate how attempts to change the status quo or resistance against the oppressive system are punished. to demonstrate that one must simply accept the system. and how, ultimately, the system knows better than you. vigilskept et al (read the tags too, i meant to say) discuss the ties of such ideologemes to colonialism.

in other words, magic and all the related lore are a metaphor, and not a fixed one, it is worth investigating how it is used to support the main narrative and themes. thus, "he is possessed though" or "she did blood magic" are not reasons on their own. they may be presented as self-explanatory by the text, but as a player you need to acknowledge that the fade, magic and spirits are simply narrative tools to amplify the leading idea. so feel free to question them as well.

[redsyapcorner]

Killugon Masterpost [Part 2] - Miscellaneous

Link to Part 1

This is going to be a bit messier and shorter, since I have not seen every hunterpedia or episode preview, so I'm only mentioning the ones I do know of. 

Episode 121 End Preview

“Hey, Killua… say my name.”

“Huh? Why now?”

“Just do it!”

“Gon...”

“Killua.”

I exploded 💥 why are they so cute. Also I swear I've seen this happen in shoujo anime before where one of them asks their love interest to say their name because it sounds so soft… 

Episode 122 End Preview

“Hey, what do you want to be in your next life?”

“Uh, what do you want to be, Gon?”

“In my next life, I want to be me, and meet you again.”

THIS. THIS LINE. I saw it in a fanart once, and I was searching for where the FUCK IT CAME FROM. Because at this point I've rewatched the show around 6 times already and NEVER once heard that… and turns out it was in an episode preview of all things! I was so enamored by this quote for a whole week, because it's genuinely one of the sweetest, most purest forms of love I have ever heard… I kept repeating it in my head over and over. That is the most heartfelt thing you can ever say to someone that you love.

Episode 43 Hunterpedia - Baise

Killua kisses Gon… and Gon tries to kiss him back but Killua says no…yup. That's it. That's the Hunterpedia. 

The Love Umbrella in Hunterpedia

Nooot exactly sure what episode it first appears in, but in the whiteboard (?) in the background of Hunterpedia, there's an umbrella that has Gon and Killua’s names under it. In Japan, it's called an AiAiGasa, which means “love love umbrella.” It's like the western equivalent of drawing a heart with your initials alongside your crush or s/o. I find it funny how the people behind the 2011 anime definitely shipped killugon. Because there is more.

The HxH 2011 Endings - Reason, Nagareboshi Kirari, Hyoriittai (all by YUZU)

We all know Reason is the “main theme” for Gon and Killua, especially since it plays during their separation in Episode 147. The animation for the Greed Island ending is cute, however there isn’t really a specific killugon moment in it aside from when they’re lying together looking at the sky as it zooms out to the rest of the supporting cast. For the exclusive Episode 147, it’s filled with flashbacks of the entire journey Gon and Killua spent together. Here are a few lyrics I like that reflect them and their journey. 

“I'm here, the closest I can be, by your side / And that's just fine for now / One day you'll tell me gently / Tell me the rest of your dreams” I’d like to think it’s about Gon to Killua, who at this time during the original debut of the ending, was still figuring out on what he wanted to do. 

“What kind of world / Is waiting for us at the end of this path of the unknown? / At this rate will the voiceless voices, disappear without reaching anywhere?” Oh, sweet summer children, you had no idea what was going to happen… 

“This long journey has made us strong / But our wounds that won't heal, again, start to ache.” This hurts. “Our wounds won’t heal, again, start to ache.” Especially if you think about what happened at the end. Not particularly the physical wounds but the emotional wounds that they both suffered through in regards to their now, slightly strained relationship. 

“I'm here, the closest I can be, by your side / And that's just fine for now / One day we'll surely manage to reach it / We're going to start moving, toward our future / Right now for sure / Yeah, with our way of doing things” About them moving toward their own futures… Killua protecting Alluka and Nanika to see the world and Gon with seeing his father (and promptly being pulled back into school after… poor Gon). 

It’s a very gentle song, and it really fits for the both of them to especially send them off. I also forgot to mention the instrumental plays during Episode 94 during Killua's breaking free moment!

Now, unto Nagareboshi Kirari ("Sparkling Shooting Star"), which is Ending 4 of the 2011 anime. From visuals alone, it’s giving HEAVY killugon vibes. For the first 30 seconds, it’s just Gon and Killua. Gon, thinking about his dad and Kite. While Killua… just keeps thinking of Gon??? (What is this one-sided pining…) It’s genuinely so funny to me, like literally all this boy’s thoughts are about Gon. Then we get shots of the other Chimera Ant characters, and it’s back to Gon and Killua again looking at the night sky, as it slowly turns into daybreak. Like, wow, that was pretty gay from visuals alone. And that was all I was going to really write about, until I was like, hey let’s read the lyrics for this song. Boy was I flabbergasted with my jaw dropped to the ground because what the hell is this! By the way, remember that part about the shooting stars earlier in the manga? They made it into an entire song! 

In general, the lyrics are about making wishes upon a shooting star, looking for a new start, and that it will guide them to the future. So, now here are specific lyrics that stood out to me.

“Our meeting, crossing time, is like a dream / Feelings, so many that I can’t hide them, dance in the wind / If only I had a little bit more courage”

“The miracle of our meeting, shining like that one first star / I found it amongst the myriad of stars / Time will always overtake me again / I start running towards you, will I still make it? / Let’s go on a journey” 

“On my cheeks I can feel the warmth / of these tears I shed in sorrow / From this place, where I'm looking up at the sky / I'll be calling out your name forever”

“Shining, shooting star, you are in my dreams / Its guidance of today will lead us to a different tomorrow / One instant of light, please convey these feelings, / I’ll find things I can do for your sake / Far into the distance / Let’s go on a journey.”

I just… did not realize that they had an entire song about THE shooting star scenes despite not having it in the anime itself. Only over-analyzing manga readers would know about the significance of this song in the context of Gon and Killua. Oh, and I forgot to mention, the piano version of this song plays during the “You are light” scene. 🤨🫵🏳️‍🌈?

And now for Hyoriittai (“Two Sides of the Same Coin”). Around the 40 second mark, we see gungi pieces being thrown up in the air. We first see Mereum and Komugi, who, might I add, is heavily, if not confirmed, seen as a couple. Then, the next pairing we see is Gon and Killua, where we’re flashed with Gon’s waiting pose and Killua being extremely worried. We see their gungi pieces in the air right after this. And then Mereum and Komugi have similar visuals as Gon and Killua had. All while the lyrics are saying, “Two sides of the same coin... The coin that I flipped dances in the sky / Just which ending do I wish for? / Two sides of the same coin... The brighter the light, the darker the shadow / If that’s so, then where will I go? / Two futures, overlapped.” Hoo boy. You could take this as a thematic parallel, of two pairs of soulmates, where one of the significant other goes from light to darkness and the other from darkness to light. I could go on about Mereum and Gon’s parallels, but instead just watch this video. The rest of the lyrics of the song drives home more about opposites, yin and yang, love and hate. Once again, two sides of the same coin. (Shuake is that you?)

That ends the ending segment. Unfortunately I’m not really good at analyzing songs nor did I feel like I really needed to here because to me it’s kinda straightforward?

Anyhow, here’s a special mention from the Nightmare of Zoldyck musical played by the original 1999 voice actors. There’s this one scene where Silva challenges Gon to punch him. If he knocks him down, he can take Killua. If he can’t, then he should give up. Now, this entire scene is so…romance-coded? It’s like a father, with the usual overprotectiveness over his daughter, challenging his daughter’s boyfriend to show how determined he is. (The first thing I can think of that's similar to this is present in Link Click, where a girl from a martial artist family is constantly being courted by a normal guy. The normal guy constantly had to fight her father for his approval for their marriage.)

Then there’s the scene where Gon and Killua have a heart to heart. Killua thanks Gon for coming, and Gon replies “Of course I came, because we’re friends.” And once again in Killua fashion, he calls him stupid and proceeds to tinkle the hell out of him. And they just started having a tinkle fight. It was so cute! Btw, you can view the musical on youtube right here.

And there you have it folks! If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading! I’ve been wanting to do this for awhile and the people asked for it. I haven’t actually written anything in a long time, and this brought me back from my hiatus, funnily enough. The lengths I would go for killugon, I guess! I’m actually planning on making an animatic of that first scene I mentioned from Nightmare of Zoldyck, so stay tuned on my art blog @redzonnet-artzone. Thanks again and have a nice day!

[ziyuanyuann]

I am in love with your art style. I love all your jjk art, it’s like stitching back the pieces of my shattered heart. Your art is so soothing and has such a warm feel, I love it. Also if you don’t mind me asking what program do you use for your art, and do you have any tips? I strive to someday create art that gives the same feeling of comfort as yours. Thank you <3

Thank you so much for the kind message! I'm actually in the middle of making another jjk piece but it's been a while so I've been trying to remember and consolidate my process. This ask came at a great time hehe

I use photoshop for most of my art pieces but I think there are a lot of cheaper alternatives (procreate on Ipad, clipstudio paint, medibang etc) that would work just as well. As for tips, I have a technical and an emotional one:

My technical tip would be to use references!! Especially if you're just starting out, it's SO IMPORTANT imo for catching mistakes especially with anatomy, lighting and perspective. And by reference I mean real life photos. I think you can be inspired by other artists' work, but there is the danger of picking up their bad habits if you only use their work for reference. I would recommend sticking mainly to real life and looking to other artists only for resolving specific stylistic details once you have a solid grasp of your fundamentals.

I would start with a rough sketch first of whatever you want to draw and then look for refs that match the mood and tone you want to go for. Get the idea down first and draw from the heart. Then the refs come in to help with the specifics (ex. what a window looks like, how someone would hold a cigarette) The jump from the rough to the clean line version is an amalgamation of all the little things you learn along the way. For example, on one day, I learned that clothing folds usually start at one point and spread out. Then another day, I learned how to do 1 point perspective and so on and so forth. Then all those tidbits slowly add up to help you get better and better.

2. My second tip would be to understand what you want to convey with your artwork. If it's fanart, what about the media that you're interacting with draws you in? It doesn't always need to be a complex answer, sometimes you just want to draw a character because you think they're hot and that's totally valid imo.

I occasionally tutor very young artists and oftentimes, they will tell me that they want to draw like X artist or X painting/piece of media. I always try to encourage them to go deeper. What about that drawing resonates with them and what specifics are occurring in the picture to make them feel that way? For example, I recently realized I love environment heavy drawings not for the background itself but because they ground the characters and seeing them do mundane things makes them feel more real to me.

For the example below, the whole set was to explore friendship and mental health. Sometimes just having someone there who listens and is willing to talk with you can make a huge difference.

Once you know the purpose of your art, then I think it makes the decision making for the rest of the process much easier. What type of lighting scenario conveys support and comfort? I went with dusk. Then I started searching up references for dusk lighting. Couldn't find the ref I actually used for colour but a quick google will show you lots of similar options.

What kind of poses feel in character for Shoko vs Geto? What is the focus of the picture? As much as I love details, I think sometimes they can actually take away from the main message. For example, if I had rendered the lamp on the right a lot more, it would've distracted from the main point of the picture so I tried to keep that and the background in general simple (still something I need to improve on haha).

Then those extra technical things (value structure, cool vs warm light, reflective lighting, connotations behind colours) you pick up along the way are all there to help you better communicate what you want to convey with your art.

Okay I lied one more tip, be patient and learn to appreciate the process. Like with any skill, there are a lot of technical aspects that you have to study and practice. I think because the end result is so visual and easily accessible in comparison to other hobbies/jobs, it really cripples beginners. Even with writing, you won't realize a book is good until you learn how to read. With art, you can resonate with a painting without having drawn a single line yourself.

I think beginners and even professionals see a lot of beautiful finished artwork and get enticed by that only to be discouraged when they find their process/finished work didn't end up the way they wanted it to look. Treat it like you would learning how to write. The fundamentals can be tedious and do take time to drill into your head, but learning them will help you SO MUCH with the creative fun parts. You can't write a poem without first taking the time to learn the alphabet, spelling and grammar. You're also probably going to write a bunch of shitty poems before you write that one good one, but that's okay because each piece lets you experiment and exercise your voice. Art is the same thing, don't rush it! Enjoy the process and celebrate your improvements.

[mrstedeteach]

It's time for Mike's side of my main headcannon for season 5!!!

Okay, so this might be strange, but I believe Mike's storyarc conclusion will be mostly "solo." Kinda... let me explain.

(Spoilers for Season 5!)

(I'm a lot better at visual descriptions than verbal descriptions, so I apologise if this isn't very clear/straightforward. I'll try my best!)

What I mean by "solo" is that Mike needs to figure out who he is and who he wants to be with no outside prospective or influence. Throughout all the seasons so far, there's always some kind of influence or others' perspectives that steers Mike to certain points in his life. The earliest view of this is season 1, with Lucas and Dustin teasing Mike over "loving" or crushing on Jane/El without him ever stating if he does or not.

I guess I just really want him to solve his delema, which is his relationship with both El and Will. To figure out the difference between the love he has for both of them.

I want him to come to the conclusion that he loves Will, maybe at the halfway point of the story. Maybe a little earlier than that. But it's this accepting of his love for Will that will drive the story forward. It's his love that will make him brave enough to charge into this war to fight for and with Will.

Mike is a leader, and Will needs him to take the lead here. Because from the end of S4, Will has given up and is trying to move on from the love he has for Mike. It's Mike that needs to make the move here, but he can't do that unless he figures it out on his own first.

So many fans here have speculated that he's staring at Will's painting here, and I do too. I hope that this scene is when Mike either starts to really question everything, or he's starting to figure things out. With Mike's outfit here, it's definitely early in the season.

Mike is smart, and I know we've all joked about him being an idiot when it comes to his relationship with both El and Will, but Mike is intelligent. He's the party's leader for a reason. Mike's only issue is simply his upbringing. He's an 80s kid with conservative parents in a backwards town with similar views. The LGBTQ+ were villified on TV at the time, and Mike, like what Finn says in a BTS, is just trying to be "normal." Which Mike believes is the stereotypical boy dates girl teenager.

Of course, he knows gay people exist. The poor kid had to defend and protect his best friend from the homophobia thrown at Will's way on a daily basis. Without a doubt, Mike wouldn't care in the slightest that Will's gay. But to Mike, being gay himself isn't an option. The idea of being gay in a conservative family is terrifying. To a lot of people in the 80s, that was a death sentence. You were either kicked out of the family/disowned or worse. It's why he pushed so hard to be a "typical man" in a heterosexual relationship in the 80s. To Mike, that was his only option.

Though I am certain that Karen will support her son and let Mike know that she loves him no matter what. Back in Season 1, it always felt like she had a hunch that Mike and Wills' relationship wasn't the typical friendship boys had. She knew just how much Mike cherished Will, I mean, that boy kept every single drawing Will ever did for him, even the unfinished ones. I doubt he did the same with Dustin or Lucas, not to that extent. I am certain that there's going to be a parallel, where Mike and Karen are going to have a one on one talk, just like she had with Nancy back on S3. Though timeline wise, I'm not sure when it'll be.

Now, it could go either way. Whether this talk happens while Mike knows who he is or when he's still trying to find the answers. But I know for sure that It's important to his storyline that he knows that he has a parent who loves him no matter what.

Ted in all this, I really don't know. (I'm a "Ted will die in S5" believer, as he's not a very big side character in the show, but his death would still impact our characters in such a big way.) But having his mom on his side would definitely give Mike courage to confront who he is.

Mike's Season 5 storyline

Let me go back to the photo of Mike above. My Season 5 theory for Mike starts off with him finding out that Will lied about the painting. I imagine Mike and Jane/El are talking, and the painting comes up. Jane/El's response would probably be to ask Mike what a commission is, which would lead to Mike realising that Will, his best friend, lied to him. Mike is going to be super upset, BUT I don't think he'll confront Will about it just yet.

Will has been off lately, has been more distant, and of course, Mike notices it. So he probably believes that confronting Will about the painting would just push him further away. Mike will probably still be the clingy/protective person he is with Will, all while trying to figure out the painting. Mike would also be stuck on why the painting meant so much to him. (I mean, they wouldn't have made a Funko Pop of Mike holding the painting if it wasn't such an important object to Mike.)

When it comes to Mike and Els relationship in S5, I believe it'll start in this turbulent state of not really being together but still are? If you get what I mean. As if they're both afraid to say we're done, especially with what is happening around them. For me, I want their breakup to be bittersweet, for the both of them to come to the same realisation that they love each other but just not that kind of love. They would probably finally have an honest conversation about everything. Where at the end, I can see them both saying I love you's to each other in a friend/family way and giving each other a big hug. They'd talk about how they didn't want to officially break up for so long because they didn't want to lose each other, but they would make a promise that they'd always be friends no matter what.

Once that relationship between Mike and Jane/El has concluded. There's going to be a breakthrough with his own feelings towards Will. Not right away, of course, but gradual. While Will has metaphorical ripped the bandaid off and is trying to move on from Mike. It's Mike who's going to put that bandaid back on, Mike is going to be the one glueing himself to Will's side.

Mike's going to notice that Will is trying to push him away and how Will stopped going to him for support. Of course, Mike is going to ask and probe Will for why, but Will won't say anything. It's why I believe Mike will go to Lucas asking for help.

I can imagine that Will went out on his own late at night. Once Mike noticed Will gone, he'd drag Lucas out to track Will down. Maybe Lucas would make a comment about Mike's own behaviour here. Maybe Lucas would tease Mike on how he wouldn't be acting this crazy if it was Dustin or Lucas leaving at night. They'd probably find Will in the middle of the woods or somewhere. And that relief Mike would feel at seeing Will would hit him like a truck. I believe this moment would be the turning point to Mike realising his feelings.

Of course, he isn't going to do anything about it yet. Since he wouldn't be sure about how Will feels about him. I LOVE the idea of Mike confining in Lucas about the feelings he has for Will. In which Lucas would be shocked, but then say "wait no, that makes complete sense." But I'm not 100% certain that would happen.

The painting comes back into the picture at this point. Maybe Mike is staring at it. Studying the details, and maybe the camera would focus on the heart on the shield. As he remembers the conversation they had in the van. Maybe he'd remember Will calling Mike the heart. And it's this scene that gives Mike the courage to say something to Will. Maybe we would see Mile write down and plan what he wants to say to Will. Cause he'd want it to be perfect.

But oh no! Something happens. Vecna/mindflayer is trying to possess Will again! They're at the radio station, and Will yells at everyone to leave, that he can't keep him back, but Mike refuses to leave Will. Big action scene here! I imagine that maybe Vecna is taunting Will in his mindscape, making him watch his body attack his loved ones. But Mike manages to help break Will free, maybe by recounting the memory from when they were 8.

Afterwards, I imagine Will being wrecked with so much guilt for hurting his loved ones. That he decided enough is enough. He plans on sacrificing himself to save everyone. Mike finds out and can't let that happen. Maybe Will goes off to the upside down alone to confront Vecna or to give himself to Vecna like a trade in order to save his friends and family. But Mike runs after him.

Mike is completely terrified over the idea of losing Will. He won't let it happen. Here's where I tend to branch off since there's so many possibilities. But my favourite one is this!

Mike catches up to Will, and they have a verbal fight at the church in the upside down, with similar colourscheme to the rain fight in season 3. Will would say how they're out of time, that if he doesn't do this, then more people would die. That Vecna would burn the world to the ground. But Mike, oooooh, he would tell Will he'd rather let the world burn than not have Will in this world. How he can't function without Will, how important Will is to him. I can see Will, tearfully begging Mike to stop, to don't say that. But Mike won't stop until Will understands just how much he means to him. Completely forgoing the speech he wrote, and just speaking from the heart. In the end, Mike goes for it and kisses Will.

Imagine the lighting and music, ahhhh, it would be so perfect.

.

Of course, if you read my Will theory, you know that I'm certain that Will still makes a sacrifice to stop Vecna but survives. One of my ideas is with how connected he is to the hivemind. I believe once that's ripped apart for good, Will would suffer from having some kind of amnesia, like maybe he gets amnesia episodes, where he forgets everything for a bit, and Mike has a book he wrote of all the memories they had together, to help Will remember things. (Or worse, Will forgets everything, which would be so sad, but at least it would still be hopeful because you know Mike would still be there for him and Will of course would fall for Mike all over again. But oooooh, the Mike angst would hurt so bad)

(My original draft was all over the place, so I had to re-write it, lol)

[smiling-stel]

Speaking ab the cover art from a Design pov *aside frm the comments that Cale looks out of character in the lore standpoint of vol. 2 art

(spoiler free, dw)

◇ TLDR; vol. 2 cover is beautiful, but it couldve had better color synergy. I can see why the artists did what they did, its just not my fav.

. man I'm just happy to have an official English print lmao, ill take what I can get

---

At first I didn't like the red shirt cause it was too much the same color as his hair. (Like if it was a darker or desaturated maroon, I feel it would've looked better, at least so he isn't matching with his own hair-)

. But now taking a step back n looking at vol. 2 again, zoomed out, I actually think his Face is the most jarring part [more on that later ◇]

◇ . The bright red of the shirt being lit by a yellower light, altho matching w his hair, actually isn't so jarring to me anymore cause I noticed two things

◇ 1) his pants are also tinted red (if my eyes aren't deceiving me) meaning compared to the background and the other two characters, Cale *in his entirety* is a red-toned silhouette -> this is a illustrative design strategy where the artist assigns a group of colors to a specific subject n *Restrictvely* uses the Hue Differences to their advantage. In my opinion, its a good choice in making him contrast and stand out. You can definitely Tell he's the main character with just the cover art.

. BUT it can also give off an Outlandish or alien feeling because (in this case) Cale is the ONLY red in the scene. Theres no balancing of red tones from his character to the background At All (e.g. the artists doesnt add Any red to the surroundings so his character can "fit in" with the scene- like as if you photoshopped a guy in sunny lighting into a dark room, the lighting differences is jarring n you can tell the guy is just slapped on top [not saying the artist did that at all, but the way they painted Cale to stand out feels jarring in that sense). While this does an insanely good job at putting him in the spotlight, it perhaps does Too great of a job, making him feel isolated or strange compared to the rest of the piece.

. (Then again, you can justify that that was the goal. To isolate Cale n show hes alien from a lore standpoint as he's "not from this world" as an isekai story)

◇ 2) but we're forgetting this is a COVER art. It's not Just an illustration to be pretty. To break my earlier point, altho Cale IS the only red in the *Illustration,* this art piece is - fundamentally - a Cover Art. It has the Title thats a part of its design <-<-<- And if we looksey at the title, what do we see? Red and warm tones. Like what other thing thats only reds? Cale Henituse himself!

. The Title IS the balance I said was missing in point 1). My theory is thats Also why the artist tinted the lighting on Cale to be warmer n more yellow, so as to use the yellow orange in the title (and the contrast of cools n warms from the focal points to the rest of the art) to their advantage. It helps add reds to the lower half of of the piece where the only warm tones are Choi Han's hand (the other character) and the fleeting window curtain; both of those details being at the edges of the piece and Both very small so they hardly have an influence on the overall design.

. So the title, taking up the majority of the lower half of the piece, draws the warmth down n assists in balancing the overall cover design.

So the reds have now been explained, but why are the whites so white now?--

◇ . Earlier I had said Cale's face was the most jarring part of the cover. And I still fully stand by that sentiment. Its the same idea where the reds do Too great a job isolating Cale; the whites do Too great a job contrasting w the background n the two other characters - who are black n cool tones - to the point where it Heavily draws the eye, practically in a violent manner.

. The extreme paleness is quite lore accurate for Cale's character, who hes isekaied as, but the extreme lighting Highlighting just his face compared to Choi Han's face is an extremely bold design decision (again, not a bad thing as he IS the main focal point, but adding onto the Isolating Spotlight trait going on)

◇ Ok then, but why's his jacket also so freakishly bright white? I heard from a fellow lcf fan (love discussing w you dawg <3) that they think the jacket is the worst part of his cover design.

N I agree. The reds standing out can be justified as a design strat, his face is the focal point so thats why that stands out, but why the jacket??

. Here i am on my artist apologist era <3

◇ . The jacket being blindly white is (probably) to Dampen the Harshness of his face being so bright.

. Altho the guy looks great in white ☆°• with how extreme the lighting is in this cover art, I think the artist wanted to balance the laser beam that is Cale's face paleness by spreading it out to his jacket, specifically that left collar fold ( i think that's called the lapel?)

. Basically by making the jacket's collar also intensely white, the artist gives their best attempt at trying to make Cale's skin less jarring so as to not make it so ridgedly highlighted. Like black ink spilt onto fresh paper, they tried to spread it out so its not so condensed in high contrast. ...But that only made the jacket join in on the uncanniness- TTvTT

---

(Posting the pic again so yall don't gotta scroll far o7)

Other notes I've noticed n wanted to just point out while I'm here looking through the Design Lense ☆°•

☆ The red of Cale's hair and the red of his shirt n neck scarf sandwiches his face, making it stand out even More. Ealier I said the contrast of the vibrant red to the paleness makes his face draw the eye, but thats also thanks to the *position* of the colors! Not just the colors themselves B) isn't that so cool (tell me yes even if you have to lie-)

☆ The lighting on Choi Han's cape, chest, to face -> the window arch -> to Cale's entire person being lit up + how he's wearing a long white jacket

. It all creates this general arch of light tones and highlighted features which surrounds and hugs the title! The artists really knows how to use their darks and lights !!

☆ Choi Han's entire person, Cale's pants, and our lovely Roan Miru (the dragon) are the only deepest dark black tones in the entire piece! The privilege of being the subjects <3

☆ cale looks crossed eyed lel

. Im glad I'm not the only one who struggles with eyes still

. Or maybe this artist did it right n I just don't know how to draw eyes- (very plausible tbh)

Man I love artists

---

All in all, Im not a fan of vol. 2 cover art but I can see why the artists did what they did

◇ . One of the most important things of commercial art is that its visually pleasing, regardless of design, lore, or even logic. The design choices are golden but putting them all together couldve been done better. Not that the art is ugly in any way. Its still gorgeous af, there just couldve been more balance or overall color synergy.

This is just my opinion anyways :D! No hate anywhere <33

[inanimateinsanityrsau]

Ahem… Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3!!

Ok- there we go!

HELLO INTERNET! It’s Fan here- though I mean I’m sure you’ve heard of someone as- uh, as cool as me with being on the ever popular show Inanimate Insanity!

I’m here to talk to YOU guys!! It’s like, yknow, a fun little chatting place for me down in my hideout! And, well, I mean I’m sure you could ask my fellow contestants also!

I’ll catch up with you all later! But please go ahead and send any and all asks you’d like! It’s like my own special interview..!

Ok, ok, ok, bye now. Where’s the off button on this thi-

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

//Hello!! Mod Whippy Creamy here coming at you with a hit new askblog!!

I’ve had this AU idea in my head for a while, but I’m just now finally doing something with it.

It is a pretty standard roleswap AU, but just to clarify some things:

This is NOT a personality swap. Characters may differ in their personalities, but any changes to personality are done only so the character can plausibly fit the “role” they’ve been swapped into.

Only the contestants have swapped roles! Outside characters like Cobs and Meeple products such as Mephone4 and Mepad have also not changed roles.

[UPDATE: ASKS TEMPORARILY CLOSED!!] Currently, every season 1-2 contestant is open to asks! Roleswap list here

Mod information and Tagging key below the cut:

MOD WHIPPY CREAMY:

“Heya! Mod Whippy Creamy here. Once again. I’m the creator of this AU, but I have enlisted the help of my very talented friends to make this silly little askblog become a reality! I use any pronouns!!

I will do my best to include little doodles in every ask that I possibly can, at the least. If you’d like to check out my main blog, go look at @aricatastrophe! Have fun, and enjoy the ride ;)”

MOD SKETCHPAD:

“HIIIII ^_^ im mod sketchpad and youll NEVER KNOW WHO I AM HAHAHAHAHHAHAH anyway i use it/any pronounce and im here to vibe . ill probably be drawing a bit for funsies but we'll see ^_^ . peace out (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)"

MOD TELESCOPE:

“HEYY IT’S ME MOD TELESCOPE!! Any/all pronouns are good for me, ill include doodles whenever i can and more high quality art for important stuff :D my main blog’s @gillionspookstrider and i shall see you on the flipside!”

MOD JOURNAL:

“hiii!!! i'm mod journal. it/it's pronouns. i'm mostly just here to have fun!! my posts will all be text posts since i cannot draw at all LMAO !!! i'm so good at introducing myself”

MOD COMPASS:

"Hi there! I'm mod Compass and I use it/its and they/them pronouns! Not much to say about me except that I am here for fun and I will absolutely draw as many of my responses as time will allow >:D"

TAGS:

#iirs - general AU tag!

#iirs fanart - FANART TAG?! if you make fanart PLEASE tag us thatd be so so cool

#mod[name] - designating which mod made the post!

#ooc - For posts not talking in character

[is-this-fascism]

have you been doomscrolling? feeling awful about it? do you feel out of control? does it seem your autonomy has been swallowed by the ever present beast that is the internet?

we live in the most overwhelmingly stimulating age of humanity ever seen, and it's only getting worse. our brains are sponges, soaking up whatever we smear them across, and it seems more and more difficult to find a clean surface to rest on. i'm no expert or professional, but ive been born and raised into the internet, and i'd like to hand out some wisdom regarding this.

the main issue: brain poison

since the brain absorbs whatever it's exposed to, media consumption is unsurprisingly going to effect it. the type of media, the amount of media, and the frequency of the media all play a factor.

it's not the internet itself that's bad here. it's the media on the internet, and the platforms designed to suck in our attention and keep it there until we're rotting inside our skulls.

we're never going to escape the internet. it's just a fact of life now, and a tool that can be used for wonderful things. so how do we learn to live with the internet and take advantage of its potential?

treat it like a dietary balance

staying aware of what goes in your brain is just as important as being aware of what you're eating. if you eat carelessly, don't listen to how your body feels after you eat certain things, and ignore any sickness that might result from rotten food, you're going to have a bad time and wreck your guts. the same goes for the brain.

you want to have a good mix of various types of media in the right amounts, or approximately so. if things are feeling bland, maybe diversify. if things are feeling stupid, try something more intellectual. if it's feeling too much, cut back on all of it

the following are three things you can do to maintain a sense of control and awareness over your media diet. this isnt a step by step and is in no particular order, theyre just ideas to carry forward in general any time it could be helpful.

1. digest

this is the process of thinking about and remembering what youve done throughout your time on the internet. it could apply to any period of time. so you might think, 'man, i've done nothing but watch tiktok all day.' or 'i've been scrolling twitter a lot more this past week.'

i feel like most people already do this to some extent, but it manifests as a fleeting sense of anxiety or shame that doesn't lead anywhere. analyze that feeling, and ask if it's really true or helpful.

ask if your media consumption is making you feel less focused, distracted, putting you into a brain fog, making you fall asleep when you don't want to, making you irritable and angry, drawing you into arguments, keeping you awake at night, or upsetting/disrupting you in any way.

digestion also means appreciating the good stuff and recognizing the good feelings you get too. so also ask if it's enriching you, helping you learn something new, giving you a new perspective, exposing you to something beautiful, passing the time, relaxing you, honing your focus, or generally lifting your mood.

2. cut

cut certain types of content from your life once you've decided they're not good for your media diet. block people. move on. tell youtube to stop reccomending that channel. block them. unfollow people. unfollow tags. block the tags. blacklist things. do it. forget the awful things that make your brain hurty. click the block button. uninstall the app. you know you want to

consider removing yourself entirely from websites that are designed to be attention predators. if you consistently feel like youre 'stuck' on a site and cant leave, it's probably best to just delete your account and get out of there. tiktok is NOTORIOUS for this.

i also tend to keep my following or subscribed count low. keeping the stream of content short forces me to find other things to do with my time. this goes hand in hand with things like turning off infinite scroll. it provides an 'end point' where the repetitive action of scrolling down stops bearing fruit, breaking the doomscrolling cycle. the internet is almost an infinite place, and its up to you to build walls around yourself so you arent lost in it forever.

its also important to get off the internet in general sometimes. i know this is obvious, but literally touch grass on occasion. doing anything with your physical body away from the screen will be more enriching than sitting there scrolling for hours. whether it's just a 5 minute walk around your house to stretch your legs or a 6 hour hike every weekend, part of cutting media will mean replacing it with real life. looking at some plants, doing a pushup, or working on a knitting project can be like rinsing your brain sponge under some cold, clean water.

3. curate

the flip side of cutting is curating. you'll want to be looking for media that makes you happy and feels productive or meaningful in some way. anything that not only doesnt make you feel like you wasted your time, but specifically makes you feel like you spent your time well, is a green flag.

keep in mind entertainment just for entertainment's sake is good for you too. you don't have to be watching university lectures and tutorials and stuff all day. finding high quality entertainment, such as personalities you enjoy, good production values, and inventive ideas can be really difficult. find the people who dont make you feel like a cocomelon baby and stick with them. from there you should be able to find similar content.

what's good for your soul is going to depend very much on you as an individual. this is also going to be an ongoing process as not only you but the internet both change and evolve. the important thing about this step is that you Make Decisions about what to consume. even bad decisions! it's all part of the process, and it's all about reclaiming your autonomy.

4. eat your junk food

this isn't a military drill or an exact science. i'm just a guy on tumblr with an intimate connection to his own brain and a LOT of time on the internet. that's my only credential. sometimes i want to turn that brain off and just mindlessly consume without putting any thought into what dirty dishwater is soaking into my sponge. sometimes adhd brain wants me to watch a shitty B movie in recap form so i dont have to commit to a full movie. sometimes i get stuck in the youtube shorts for like 3 hours.

that's fine. the most important part of any kind of self care is that a little bit is better than nothing. even just being aware that youre consuming something bad for you and knowing you arent ready to stop just yet is better than nothing.

thats it!!

now you should be prepared to take back some control over your media consumption. be gentle with yourself and take your time. eventually this stuff will become second nature, and you'll be effortlessly digesting, curating, and cutting media like it's just part of your personality. remember YOU have control over what the internet thinks you want to see. dont let it force feed you nasty slop anymore. let it be a reflection of your mind, not the other way around.

and good luck!