#i mean honestly genuinely i think the only time you have to act professional at most jobs is when management is around LMAO

[sunsoak]

I’m starting to think that nothing is as serious as people try to scare you into thinking it is

[underdark-dreams]

ok, I'm too cowardly to actually reply to your post about Rolan/ Dammon headcannons/ prompts but here are a few:

Rolan:

-He finally gets to be hero, he saves Tav from some scenario and when Tav is thanking him he has no idea what to do with himself.

-Cal and Lia being siblings and absolutely embarrassing him anytime Tav is around. (Sharing embarrassing but endearing stories from when they were younger, hinting at his feelings for Tav, making kissy faces from behind Tav when he's trying to have a conversation.)

-Also, I just have a feeling that he's a jealous green monster whenever someone who isn't any one the companions try and talk to Tav.. especially if its another wizard.

Dammon:

-Him trying to muster up the courage to ask Tav out when he has his shop in Baulders Gate.

-Dammon would 100% be the type who wants to court someone the 'proper' way, but could be convinced otherwise.

-He seems like he would act like a love sick puppy when he's in love.

Thank you for this delicious bouquet of ideas!! 🖤 Twirling my hair over these!! I do want to save a few for fics, but I couldn’t look at this in my inbox any longer without writing out some headcanons:

Rolan 

[Cal & Lia embarrassing him around Tav]

The three of them have a super close bond underneath all the bickering. So the absolute second Rolan catches feelings, Cal & Lia smell blood in the water

Honestly they probably catch it before Rolan admits him to himself

When Lia starts to drop hints or Cal asks if he’s gotten up the nerve to kiss them yet, Rolan is like "what? stop being stupid"

But then he turns away & checks in with himself for a second & he's like "oh fuck"

Rolan makes an effort to only interact with Tav far away from his home, his workplace, the general vicinity of his neighborhood in Baldur’s Gate—basically avoiding anywhere they might run into his sister or brother. They already make him nervous enough

But once they start getting closer he also really wants to bring them home, so at some point, he’ll suck it up and face this potential trainwreck head-on

His siblings make light conversation over dinner about what Tav’s been doing or working on lately. Lia’s like “oh yeah Rolan mentioned that, you know he talks about you a lot, like all the time”

Tav’s hand silently taking his under the table is the only thing that could distract Rolan from snapping back

Somehow, Rolan is even more embarrassed when his siblings start genuinely reminiscing and telling Tav stories about the three of them growing up in Elturel

He’ll chime in if Tav asks him a question, but otherwise he’s pretty quiet. Rolan doesn’t want them to think about him as a refugee or an orphan

In his mind, he still thinks he needs to be powerful and significant in order to truly deserve Tav’s affection

If Rolan paid any attention, he’d realize that Cal and Lia talking up what a stubborn, protective big brother he’s always been is putting stars in Tav’s eyes

[Jealousy]

He’s so fucking jealous and it drives him crazy

Rolan likes controlling the narrative, keeping any vulnerability under control & well hidden from others, etc.

Falling in love with Tav creates a big complication in the way he usually operates

Once he’s master of Ramazith’s Tower, he has a certain amount of social obligations—hosting members of the wizarding community, professional gatherings, etc

And Tav is an integral part of his life now, so they'll always be involved to some extent

Midway through the evening, Rolan glances across the room and sees one of his colleagues talking much closer than he'd like to his beloved. As he watches, their hand actually reaches out to touch Tav’s elbow

Whatever he's doing or whoever he's conversing with is abandoned without ceremony

Rolan does that thing where he casually walks up to join the conversation and places a hand on the small of Tav's back, just resting there with a slight smile as he pretends to listen. But he’s staking his claim

In his head the gesture means step the fuck back, this person is with me. It’s honestly about as subtle as a sledgehammer

After they're finally alone again he'll probably want to fuck Tav on his desk or against one of the bookstacks in the Tower

Capturing them for himself and hearing them moan his name and making sure they know they’re his

Dammon

[Working up the courage to ask Tav out]

He’s been really glad their paths have converged here and there along the way, but nothing could make him prouder than when Tav comes to visit the Forge of Nine Hells in the city

Dammon is completely in his element in Baldur’s Gate

He’s pretty modest and down-to-earth, but he feels a swell of pride when Tav finally sees him running a proper forge. It’s how he always hoped they’d see him

And is it just his imagination, or does he see them…often? Almost every day they’re dropping by for one reason or the other, and they seem to linger to chat and watch him work

The hints that they’re interested are all Dammon needs to start working up his courage to make a move

He's alone and tied to his work most of the day, which gives his mind ample time to run through different options

Getting the timing right drives him a little crazy. So often Tav is in a hurry, or with their companions, or he's got a rush commission that he has to get finished

When he finally finds the moment, he’ll probably come right out with it & ask them out for a drink. He wants something simple where they can talk, plus smithing is thirsty work

When Tav agrees with a smile, Dammon drops everything, his leather apron snagging as he pulls it over his horns in his haste to get going

Gathers his courage and puts an arm around their shoulders as they walk

With anyone else Dammon would be self-conscious about how he smells like iron and smoke and sweat all the time. But if anyone can look past it it’s Tav, with everything they’ve been through

A feeling that's confirmed when they lean further into him with a laugh

[Being totally lovesick over Tav]

The definition of devoted

He would 100% be that type of boyfriend who likes to be always touching Tav when they’re close

Prefers to rest his hand on their hip while they’re side by side, maybe on the curve of their ass if he can get away with it. The contrast against the doting look in his eye is classic Dammon—sweet and hot 

It's not a possessiveness thing, and he'd tone it down if Tav asked, he's just super into them & touching them feels natural

Just in general, he loves telling Tav yes and has a very hard time telling them no

At the end of the day, Dammon likes to pull Tav down to sit on his lap and talk about their days. He might stroke their hair or rub their back while he listens, just helping his love relax at the end of a long day

Dammon’s used to being a single bachelor and taking care of himself, but he discovers that he adores when Tav does little things to dote on him or pamper him

One night he comes home with the usual soot stains on his skin and ache in his shoulders to find that Tav has drawn him a warm, pleasant-smelling bath. Ignoring any mild protests, Tav insists on helping him peel off his sweaty layers and sink in, then loosens his knot of hair to gently lather and wash his locks. The feel of Tav’s fingers and nails massaging his scalp is the most loving, tender thing. Dammon feels like he could fall asleep right right there in the water under their hands

He calls Tav all kinds of pet names: darling, love, dearest, gorgeous, sometimes angel if he's feeling especially whipped

Dammon is one to say "I love you' freely and often, but hearing Tav say it back never fails to make him sigh with happiness

[queenshelby]

The Peaky Role (Part Six)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Dad's Friend, Best Friend's Dad

Over the days that followed your intimate scene with Cillian, the distance between you and Cillian suddenly felt heavy, like a fog settling after a rain.

You did not have any scenes together over the next two days, and each time you caught a glimpse of him, a subtle shift in his demeanor tugged at your mind.

Cillian would smile at you still, but something lingered behind those deep blue eyes, a hesitation you couldn't decipher.

Every time you crossed paths, he glanced away, returning to his work like you were a puzzle he couldn’t quite solve. It was almost like he was trying to avoid you and you did not know why.

Cillian kept his distance from you during rehearsals, focusing intently on his lines or conversing animatedly with other cast members, drawing a thin veil between you. You respected his need for space, but confusion knotted in your stomach each time you saw him laughing with someone else. His behaviour made you wonder about whether your father and Nina may have been right, that perhaps you working together so intimately would complicate things.

He was your best friend's father and your father's best friend and here you were, filming some intense scenes together.

The lines between professionalism and personal relations, even if innocent, blurred, and you couldn’t shake the thought that maybe the weight of your sudden physical closeness affected him more than you realised.

Maybe he felt weirded out by having to kiss and touch you or maybe he thought that you were overstepping some invisible boundary together by engaging in these acts on screen.

“Hey,” you said one afternoon, spotting him by the services table as he poured a cup of coffee.

He caught your eye but quickly focused on the steaming mug, fiddling with the lid.

“You good?” you ventured, stepping closer, your heart quickening with anticipation.

“Yeah, just, you know…” He took a sip, glancing away. “Busy.”

“Busy or hiding from me?” you teased, attempting to lighten the moment, but his smile barely touched his lips and you quickly regretted the jab.

“Why would I hide from you?” Cillian's voice remained steady, but his eyes darted to the doorway, as if searching for an escape.

"I don't know, maybe because of the last scene?" you suggested while nervously playing with the hem of your shirt. "I mean, it was a little awkward, wasn’t it?”

Cillian set the coffee down with a soft thud and finally turned to you, his expression shifting from a hunter stalking prey back to a familiar, softer gaze.

“So you thought it was awkward?” he pressed gently, gauging your response.

You shrugged, the corners of your mouth twisting into a tentative smile.

“A bit. But I thought we did okay, don't you think?" you asked as Cillian ran a hand through his greying hair before letting out a soft chuckle that warmed the air between you.

“Yes. I think we did too,” he said, his tone shifting, a hint of amusement flashing in his eyes. “But I am not quite sure how our respective families will react when they see the footage.”

You laughed, the tension easing just a fraction. “Yeah, I can only imagine my dad’s face," you continued, shaking your head in disbelief.

Cillian chuckled, a genuine warmth spreading across his features. "I don't think I would want to be in the same room when the scene plays out because, honestly, I didn't realise that it would be so graphic," he said, shaking his head lightly, his expression somewhere between amusement and resignation.

“Did you see the cut already?" you asked with a hint of suprise in your voice, but Cillian shook his head.

“Not cut but, as a producer, I saw the footage," he replied, swallowing the last bits of coffee before leaning against the table, sighing. “I thought it was going to look more like a soft-focus kind of scene, but what was shot really leaves little to the imagination.”

You leaned against the counter, mirroring his casual stance. “I guess it is what it is, right? Just art, doing its thing. You should think too much about it."

Cillian’s lips quirked in a faint smile, but his gaze grew distant as if he were peering beyond the chaos of filming.

“You are probably right but I have known your family for a long time Y/N and I just don't want this or any other scene between us to ruin some longstanding friendships," he continued, his brow furrowing with contemplation.

“Cillian, none of this is going to change anything between us or our families because it was an act and nothing more," you reassured him, focusing on the sharpness of his jawline that reflected the light above you.

“I hope you’re right,” he said before he shifted his weight, the tension in his shoulders easing just slightly. “Now, I have to go. I am glad we talked though," he said, his voice steady, yet something flickered in his eyes, a hint of vulnerability peeking through his facade.

In Cillian's mind, it was much more than just acting though as, what you did not know, was that, for the past two days he had wrestled with conflicting thoughts.

Cillian's attraction to you felt dangerous yet intoxicating to him, like standing too close to an open flame. The scene of you on top of him had ignited something in him he thought he could control, but it became harder and harder to do.

He turned abruptly, leaving you at the service table, feeling a mix of confusion and lingering warmth. You watched him go, wondering if you’d ever find out what really lingered behind those blue eyes as he slipped away into the crowd of crew members bustling through the set.

The warmth he left behind mingled with an ache of uncertainty, pulling you in different directions but, as the day wore on, you tried to focus on your scenes with the other cast members.

You had to focus and so you did. You finished your last scene for the week at around 5 o'clock and went back to your apartment to pack.

The early evening light filtered through the window as you tossed a few items into your bag—a pair of jeans, a couple of shirts, and essentials and, by around 10 o'clock, you arrived at the airport in Liverpool for you late night flight back to Dublin.

The airport buzzed with activity—a young family juggling bags, a couple bickering over boarding passes, and scattered travelers absorbed in their phones.

You looked for the Air Lingus check-in counter nervously, hating both flying and crowded places like this and, as you navigated the terminal, the familiar pulse of anxiety gnawed at your stomach.

You spotted the Air Lingus check-in counter and approached but, just as you were about to line up, you noticed him.

It was Cillian, standing two counters over, his hands resting lightly on the edge of the counter while he exchanged a few words with the agent, a brief smile flashing across his face as he spoke.

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself against the wave of nerves that surged through you.

“Cillian!” you called out, your voice cutting through the chatter of the airport.

He turned, his smile fading briefly, replaced with a look of surprise.

“Y/N!” he said as you joined him at the counter, the moment of unexpected connection releasing some of the tension that had built over the last few days.

“Guess we’re on the same flight," you said, shrugging as you tried to calm your nerves.

"Looks like it," he replied, his voice hesistant as you were called to the check-in counter next to his.

“Just my luck,” you said, forcing a light laugh as you handed over your papers to the agent, who checked your ticket with a distracted nod.

As the woman typed away on her computer, you stole another glance at Cillian and the way his brows knit together in concentration as he finalised his check-in at the neighbouring counter.

“Do you want to sit together?” the agent asked, glancing between you and Cillian with a raised brow.

Cillian hesitated, an almost imperceptible shift in his posture.

“It’s not necessary,” he said quickly, speaking at the same time as you, not matching your enthusiasm.

“Yes!” you blurted out, the eagerness escaping before you could filter it.

Cillian paused, his eyes widening slightly as the agent glanced between you two, a smile creeping onto her face.

“Yes or no?" she then asked as she leaned closer, waiting for a decision.

“Yes,” Cillian finally conceded, his lips twisting into a reluctant smile. "If that is no trouble."

The agent nodded and worked her magic on the keyboard. “There you go, seats 22A and 22B. Enjoy the flight!”

“Thanks,” you said, grateful for the small victory as you grabbed your boarding pass, the bright letters practically glowing in your hand.

Cillian fell into step beside you as you made your way toward the security line, his posture relaxed but eyes scanning the terminal with the ease of someone used to the attention that surrounded him.

Luckily for you both however, no one bothered to approach him for a photograph or an autograph, allowing you a few precious moments of quiet.

Eventually, and following some awkward silence between you, you arrived at the gate where people settled into their seats, a blend of chatter and the rustle of bags filling the air.

You found a place against the wall, leaning on the cool surface as you looked over at Cillian, who stood accross from you and put his way too expensive bag down by his feet. He removed his jacket, folding it over his arm with practiced ease, revealing a black t-shirt that perfectly matched his torn jeans.

"What have you been listening to?" you asked, watching him put his headphones away with a casual grace.

"As surprising as it may be, I've been on a bit of a Beatles kick lately," he replied, glancing your way, eyes softening at the casual conversation.

“Really? Which album?” You leaned in, intrigued as the atmosphere lightened between you.

“Rubber Soul,” he said, his voice steady, yet there was a flicker of excitement in his eyes. “I find there’s something poetic about it."

“It's totally underrated ,” you agreed, nodding enthusiastically. “The lyrics are so alive, like they really force you to think about relationships in a different way.”

"Come on, you listen to music that old?" he teased, a hint of disbelief dancing in his eyes. "Aren't girls your age more into whatever music is trending on, I don't know, Tik Tak?" he asked, causing you to laugh out loud.

"Tik Tak?" you chuckled, shaking your head. “You really need to update your references. It’s TikTok, not Tik Tak! And yes, I can appreciate good music regardless of the age of the tunes. A timeless song is a timeless song,” you said, crossing your arms, a playful defiance lighting your features.

Cillian raised an eyebrow, clearly impressed. “Well, you’ve got taste, I’ll give you that,” he said, his voice drifting as he leaned against the wall, mimicking your stance and crossing his arms, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips just as, finally, the boarding call came through the intercom, breaking the levity.

“Now boarding for Flight 232 to Dublin,” the voice announced, echoing through the somewhat sterile airport space.

Sitting not far from the front, you found your seats rather quickly and, just as a gentleman would, Cillian offered you the winow seat.

“Please, by all means,” he said, gesturing toward the window, his expression a mixture of chivalry and teasing.

"No thanks. You take it," you insisted, giving him a nervous smile.

"Are you sure?" He scrutinized your face, searching for any hint of insincerity.

“Absolutely,” you replied, nodding firmly which is when he realised that you were anxious.

He studied you for a moment, concern flickering in those piercing blue depths. “You really don’t like flying, do you?”

You swallowed hard, fingers fidgeting with the edge of your seatbelt. “No, not at all. I’ve always hated it. The noise, the cramped space—it feels like being trapped in a metallic coffin.”

Cillian chuckled softly, but his eyes remained serious as the cabin crew prepared for take-off and, eventually, proceeded towards the runway.

“Just breathe,” he said, turning his body slightly to face you, his expression shifting to something softer.

“Focus on your breathing,” he repeated, his voice weaving through the murmurs of other passengers settling in. “In through your nose, out through your mouth.”

"Jesus, you sound like my dad when he gives one of these meditation classes," you said, trying to stifle a laugh, though the anxiety still knotted in your stomach.

Cillian’s lips quirked, his expression softening. “I may have attended a few of them," he admitted, a playful glint in his eyes. “The man thinks that breathing exercises can solve everything. But you know what? They actually help sometimes.”

As the plane began to taxi, the cabin shook slightly, the vibrations sending a jolt up your spine.

You squeezed the armrests, feeling the familiar surge of nerves clawing at your stomach.

“Just focus on me,” Cillian said, his voice cutting through the swirling chaos around you. “Talk to me about anything. Just keep your mind off the flight.”

“I don’t know what to talk about,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper, the weight of the plane’s movements making your heartbeat quicken and, when the plane finally began its ascent, the sensation of lifting off the ground squeezed the air out of your lungs.

“Anything at all. What’s your favorite movie?” Cillian prompted, leaning slightly closer, his breath brushing over your ear but, what you did next, suprised him.

You grasped his hand, fingers curling around his warm palm, seeking comfort in the pressure of his grasp.

“Y/N?” Cillian blinked, caught off guard as he felt your grasp wrap around his hand, his breath hitching slightly.

“Sorry,” you murmured, embarrassment flushing your cheeks as you glanced at him. “It just…helps. I hate this part and I don't want to talk, okay? Not right now," you told him and Cillian nodded slowly, his expression shifting from surprise to understanding.

He wrapped his fingers gently around yours, steady and reassuring, creating a small oasis of calm amidst the chaos swirling around you.

“It's alright," he replied, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a steady rhythm that felt oddly soothing.

The plane continued to climb, the cabin settling into a more stable altitude, but you still clutched his hand as if it were a lifeline in a tumultuous sea.

Once the initial turbulence passed, the sound of the engines settled into a steady roar, a low hum vibrating through the cabin.

“See? Nothing to worry about,” Cillian said, a calmness threading through his voice, the warmth in his grip anchoring you.

You nodded, but your eyes remained fixed on the screen in front of you.

The screen flickered with safety instructions, and you tried to focus, but your breathing came in quick bursts.

"Sshh, it's okay," Cillian said softly, squeezing your hand slightly. “You are going to be okay!"

You felt a warmth radiate from his palm, grounding you as the cabin ambiance began to calm, the chaotic whirring fading into a dull background.

“I’m fine,” you managed to say though the tremor in your voice betrayed your bravado.

"You sure about that?" Cillian raised an eyebrow, a hint of mischief glinting in his eyes as he glanced over at you , his voice laced with gentle teasing.

“Okay, maybe not entirely fine,” you admitted, biting your lower lip as you struggled between the flicker of embarrassment and the absurdity of the situation. “But you holding my hand helped a little.”

Cillian chuckled, his grip tightening ever so slightly as he let the warmth of the moment settle between you.

“Then I’ll keep holding it,” he replied, his voice low and steady like the rhythm of the engines and he kept up his word, holding your hand for the entire and, luckily, short flight.

Tags:

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@nela-cutie @futurecorps3 @delishen @nosebleeds-247 @thirteenis-myluckynumber @gills-lounge @hjmalmed @lost-fantasy @tiredkitten @sidechrisporn @smallsoulunknown @charqing-qing @hopefulinlove @aporiasposts @shycrybaby @me-and-your-husband @hjmalmed @lacontroller1991 @galxydefender @aporiasposts

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[demialwrites]

Experiment of Passage

I'm happy to have finally finished this! I wrote this back when I had soft feelings for pre-Nibelheim Sephiroth. Smut with feelings (some of them uncomfortable), basically.

You're not that close. And you're just like every other fan, you do wish you were that close. You even diligently kept an ear to the ground, hoping to get an opportunity to join the Silver Elite, Sephiroth's secretive fan club. Luckily, your job has you running all over the place, up to the SOLDIER floor and down to other levels. It was a good distraction. You had earned that level of clearance and a heavy workload to match. In other words, there's no time to fawn over him.

For his part, he also appeared to be run ragged. Quite a few times you scurry past him, him with his slower gait. He's often splattered with varying levels of blood. And colours of blood (from fiends?). The way he went about casually in that state was unnerving but you scold yourself inwardly. Getting dirty was just part of his job.

One day, he stops you in the hallway. This time he is clean. The black leather of his outfit has a dull shine. His hair has been brushed. You're relieved to see it but also entranced by his unreal and unique beauty.

“Yes, Sir.”

“I have something for you.”

“Yes, Sir,” you reply in a practiced manner.

You bring up a free hand up to receive what you expect to be file folders. Instead, he places a steamed bun partially wrapped in a square of parchment paper on your palm. It’s still warm.

“It’s the pork one, which they run out of early,” he explains.

‘They’ meaning the cafeteria. You're genuinely, and pleasantly, surprised. Your shock morphs into a soft smile. He chuckles, pats your shoulder, and continues on. You take this as a sign to head back to your desk for a short break and enjoy the bun. Chewing on the warm and comforting spongy dough, you try to picture Sephiroth in the lineup at the cafeteria.

You’re not sure what he likes about you. Maybe he likes how you scurry through the halls, you think with a mental shrug. Either way, he keeps bringing you snacks. He keeps bringing them and you keep accepting them gratefully. You dial up your response just a bit. Not enough to deceive but just to encourage. This is the best-looking delivery boy you have ever seen.

It’s late in the evening and you forgot to eat lunch. You vaguely register the headache but you don’t connect it with the self-neglect. You’re too focused. And honestly, you’ve been trying to eat less to compensate for Sephiroth’s delivered goodies. Your work clothes are getting a little tight. You’ll hand in your resignation before you turn him away, though.

“Sorry that I’m late.”

You look up from your computer screen to see a takeout container being placed on your desk. It lands politely in a free space between your files and other clutter. Steam, and the promising scent of some kind of sauced noodles, rise from the slits in the closed lid. Your empty stomach stares out of your eyes in anticipation.

“I had to ask where-”

Before Sephiroth could finish his sentence, and before your thoughts could catch up with your joy, you throw your arms around his waist and squeeze. You feel his stomach expand in a soft gasp. His belt buckle is cool against your cheek.

Oh, right. This is an office. You had better act professionally.

You let go, peeking up at him to gauge his reaction. You see eyes dancing in amusement set in a relaxed expression.

“Uhhh, thanks,” you mutter, cheeks hot.

He glances down at your mouth then back to your eyes. “You're welcome.”

He’s still busy but you can see that he makes time for you when he can. Your conversations naturally expand to include topics beyond food. You quickly discover that it’s like he’s bigger on the inside than he is on the outside. There’s so much information in there. You just have to ask and it willingly flows out. The only roadblock is your security clearance, which is disappointing but understandable.

And sometimes, he expresses an opinion so pessimistic that it gives you mental whiplash. You take it as a boundary around the current topic and try to steer the conversation elsewhere. Everyone has their issues, you assume.

You once thought you’re being too much.

“Maybe I should get you some textbooks,” he says.

“Then what would we talk about?”

You’re afraid he’s sick of explaining things to you. But then he surprises you with his answer:

“Your opinions.”

Oh.

As someone so low in the company, you’re not often asked for your opinion, especially not on the topics you two discuss. It’s then that you realize he’s interested in knowing more about you. You’re excited but also embarrassed. What if he didn’t like what he found? You’re mundane in comparison to him. He’s not bored of your company yet but that could change. Still, you vow not to let it get in the way. Not too much.

Months later, you receive an unusual email. That it comes from R&D shocks you well enough. You have never gotten an email from them. Then you see who it is from and the usual background noise in your mind stops. It’s like your unconscious is focused on reading it, too. Then you see who it is about and you get up and start pacing. The content makes you think it had to be a joke. Who has hacked into the company email? Who wrote such a sick joke?

Your steps slow. You gently scratch your cheek thoughtfully. Then again, you’ve never heard of anyone impersonating Director Hojo in a fake email. Sadness douses your agitation. The emotion clashes with Sephiroth’s image in your mind. But no matter what he looks like and is capable of, he’s human.

This could be a huge mistake but you agree to the Director’s invitation. You have so little information about the experiment he invited you to participate in that the alarm bells don't go off in your mind. That in itself should have been a warning to steer clear. But it’s too late now; you’ve already agreed to go. You want to help Sephiroth.

It’s the day of the ‘experiment.’ You head up to R&D. Who you assume is an assistant directs you to a small, windowless room to get ready. You change into the robe provided to you and emerge into the hallway.

“Yes. Perfect,” says the professor, examining you with eyes distorted by his glasses.

If it wasn’t for the hierarchical culture strictly maintained in the company, you would have loudly demanded what the fuck he thought he was saying. When he ignores your quiet rage, it dies pathetically. He leads you down the hallway. Besides what just happened, there are other reasons you’re incredibly uncomfortable in his presence. You can’t put your finger on it. The way he talks is also strange, in a bad way. Like he’s on another planet and only projecting his image onto this one. If he’s on another planet, he should stay there. You survive this encounter knowing you'll see Sephiroth on the other side. It’s small and truthfully, he hasn’t done anything but it’s a little heroic to you.

The professor leads you to a door. The door is strangely nondescript and clinical considering what was supposed to happen next. He uses a keycard to open it. You hurry in just to get away from him. The room on the inside is just as sadly nondescript. It’s not the usual Shinra black but it’s close enough; it’s dark, steely grey. The lighting is dim. If this was any other setting at all, it could have been romantic. The thought gives you nausea. The door slides shut behind you.

Sephiroth rises from a bed tucked at the side of the room as soon as he sees you.

“You. What are you doing here?” His voice is cold and rough, like slabs of stone.

He’s angry. He runs his hand over his face, beginning to pace. It would be a lie if you said you weren't hoping he was angry because he didn't want you to see him like this. It would mean he cares what you think. But that made you feel awful, which wasn't why you were here. You want to help. It seems you had your work cut for you to convince him to accept it.

“He told me that if I didn't do it, he would send someone else.”

“He would do that, yes. But-”

“I came here to give you a choice. I can leave now and they'll probably delay this to find someone else.”

“He won't let go of this, though!”

“That's why I came to give you the choice.”

He shouldn't have to be making this choice at all. Not at all. He should be yelling and destroying the entire room with his superhuman strength to protest. But he doesn’t. You're not sure what stops him. Is it the professor? After getting this little peek into Sephiroth's life as a part of SOLDIER, if he stabbed that creepy professor, you'd be secretly cheering. As long as you weren’t in the room at the time, of course.

“Hurry up,” comes the professor from the ceiling, in a creepy sing-song voice. There must be speakers embedded there. The sound brings an abrupt halt to Sephiroth's pacing. “I don't have all day.”

Sephiroth stands silent and still, head bowed. His reaction to the professor's voice told you everything. Well, it told you enough. This kind of behaviour from the professor wasn't new. You think back to how your rage died so easily in the hallway. You didn't have much longer with that train of thought because Sephiroth rounds on you.

“I don't want you involved with this. It's too dangerous.”

“I agreed to this. I knew there'd be risks.”

“No. You don't. You don't know the risks.”

“I'm not letting you do this alone,” you insist.

Based on your involvement in this, the risks must be getting involved in R&D. This is another vague, bad thing you can’t put your finger on. There’s always been thick, inky clouds hanging over the department but you could never figure out why. It hits you that someone must be controlling the flow of information. You no longer had the time to unravel that realization, but it could partly explain the depressing aura that seems to follow Sephiroth wherever he goes. His surprising pessimism. Maybe it’s not surprising after all. There’s no denying his confidence and strength but maybe his personality could have been brighter if he spent less time in this department.

You try to reach out to him one more time. “Well? Would you rather it was someone else? If that’s really what you mean, I could go.”

His expression sours. You want to convince him but you don't want to push too far. You’ve said all you have to say.

“So do you want me to leave?” you ask one last time.

“No.” His reply is tight and resolute.

You're unsure what else to do so you sit on the bed. The atmosphere is tense so when the mattress creaks, you flinch.

Rather than follow you, he’s brushing the ceiling with his fingertips, meticulously searching for something. He seems to find it because he reaches up with both hands. It’s a reminder of his inhuman strength as what appears to be a speaker comes down like a tulip bulb-shaped eyeball from a socket. He twists the cord and pulls, severing it. He lets it drop to the floor. Several more holes later and the ceiling looks like Swiss cheese. There are also four cameras you wouldn’t have found yourself. It takes more effort, but he crushes them between his palms before letting them also drop to the floor like disgusting objects.

You sag with relief, releasing tension you didn’t know you held. Perhaps you had been too focused on Sephiroth to notice. For his part, he’s no longer agitated but he's still stiff. It reminds you of his sword. Looking at him, you finally realize he's wearing a matching robe. Your eyes travel down his frame. The fabric drapes and hugs, giving his muscles a softer curve. He looks comfortable to hug, which is unexpected. When your eyes make it back up to his face, you realize he's caught you looking.

Sephiroth gives you a wry half-smile and holds his arms out to the sides. “What do you think?”

You look him up and down, face scrunching in thought. Then you say, “No different than usual.”

He frowns in confusion, looking down at himself. He smoothes the edges of the robe on his chest. It’s parted to expose his chest in the same style as his usual attire. “Oh.” He laughs lightly. “Old habits, I suppose.”

He shrugs the robe off his shoulders to reveal more of his chest and his stomach. Your eyebrows shoot up of their own accord. Holy. This is a man and a half. You swallow, hopefully subtly. You would be lying if his body, which seemed perfectly designed to be a warrior, didn't trigger a skittishness in you. Had he been designed? Is that truly possible? Based on the few strange, and sometimes terrifying, rumours you heard coming from R&D…no, those kinds of thoughts are for later.

“You look great.”

You manage a small smile because it's true. A person can be awe-inspiring and pleasing to the eyes at the same time.

He dips slightly in relief. “I suppose it's true, what they all say.”

You're shocked to hear that. “And you didn't believe it, all this time?”

“I still look different.”

His gaze hardens and your gut tells you to drop the matter. As much as you want to play therapist, now's not the time. And he's not wrong. You've never seen a man like him.

He licks his lips and an emotion flickers across his face. You're lucky to catch it.

“Are you scared?” you ask.

His eyes narrow.

“Sorry. Too personal?”

“I'm fine.”

He says it so easily. Either way, you’re not scared of him anymore. But you do feel awkward so you look away.

Sephiroth asks a question and you’re just on the cusp of understanding but it’s too quiet. You look back up at him.

“Sorry, what?”

He increases the volume slightly. “What am I supposed to do?”

“What? You mean what to do next?”

That sets you off-kilter for a moment. Then you decide, he must not be asking because he doesn't know or hasn't thought about it. He must be asking because he wants you to choose the direction in which this is going. Surely, he’s masturbated, you think to yourself. You rub your hand down your face, banishing the thought before the following mental image forms too clearly. It feels intrusive.

When you look back at him, he’s looming over you. It makes no sense that he would be trying to intimidate you at this point. You’re in too deep. You stare up at him but he doesn’t budge, like a larger-than-life statue. He’s just watching you.

Oh.

“Are you feeling awkward?” you ask.

He shakes his head but his expression and slumping shoulders betray him. “Sorry,” he says sadly. “I’m sure this isn’t what you-”

“I don’t mind,” you interrupt. The question is plain on his face so you continue. “Everyone’s awkward at first. If you ask me, it humanizes you.”

He seems to accept what you say. In fact, he’s looking more comfortable. Still stiff but getting better. What’s also stiff is…the massive erection jutting awkwardly from his pelvis. It would be comical, if not for what you were supposed to be doing. Even if he’s feeling better, surely he’s a long way off from getting aroused. He sits next to you on the bed and hisses in pain.

“Are you in pain? Why would that jerk make you do this while in pain? ”

He says nothing. You stare at him, waiting for an answer. Or at least to be told to back off.

“It was an injection,” he says, way too lightly. He tried to cover it with the barest of smiles.

“Oh,” you say. Because what else could you say?

Your response sounded woefully inadequate, even to your own ears. But you’re not sure what the appropriate response is. Maybe anger. Maybe you should storm off and refuse to be any further involved. Should you hug him in an effort to give comfort? The last one should feel right but, somehow, it doesn’t. You still feel the distance between you. But you're unsure if it's the distance between yourself and the ‘hero’ Sephiroth or yourself and the man struggling awkwardly with this situation.

“How come I’m the only one naked?” he asks, breaking the heavy silence and lightly bumping your shoulder with his.

It’s his turn to lighten the mood. You force a smile and slide off your own robe. Forcing a smile doesn't feel so bad because you want to smile for him but it's still difficult, considering the situation.

He slowly drinks your naked body in with a slow sweep of his gaze. His gaze travels down, meeting yours when it returns to your face. Your lips part. He catches the slight movement like the alert warrior he is. You slowly meet in the middle, bangs tickling your face. It's absolutely cliché but this man deserves his cliché kiss.

You start with a couple of chaste smooches, then lead him into something more heated by grazing your teeth across his bottom lip. Sephiroth takes the hint and opens his mouth to you. It's awkward but he's trying. You suspect he's thought about it but had little opportunity to practice.

Your hand finds its way down to grasp his length, earning you a deep purr from the other man. If you try to take your hand away, he holds it there, squeezing. His eyebrows come together in an expression of what appears to be relief. Hopefully, it's from the pain he was feeling earlier.

“It barely reaches around,” you say, worried.

He hums. “I've been told that I'm above average. It looks average to me.”

You raise an eyebrow at that. There’s some kind of disconnection there that you’re not sure about since you don’t have a penis yourself. It’s not like your siblings or male friends would have talked to you about it, nor did you wish they did.

“Uhhhh, that's not average.”

“I see.”

There’s no way he will fit without foreplay. It's a little funny that now it's your turn to be the information dispenser. It's not that he doesn't know anything about women's bodies but everyone is different and you have to explain specifically about yours. He listens carefully, though with wandering eyes.

He does it all too gently. You eventually have to tell him won’t break. You guide him to touch your nipples. To touch your favourite spots but with a more firm hand. He does so but he also wants to run his palms and fingers over every inch of you: down your sides, into the curve of your waist, and back up your stomach. His touch makes your nerves sing and crackle and cry out for more all at once. He chases you down that hole. It’s full of warm water and the warm water is his embrace, his presence, his smell, and the way he finally feels comfortable kissing you. You vaguely remember he had been squeezing your thigh just a second ago but his finger is suddenly at your slit, hesitating there. You reach down to jam it in faster, closing your thighs to keep his hand there. He’s not going anywhere but that this is just a one-time thing lingers in the back of your mind. It’s a pleasurable blur. You manage to teach him to curve his finger. He’s a natural. You can’t manage the words. You have to squeeze two of his fingers together to communicate that he has to give you more. You’re both awkward at this point so he doesn’t question it. It’s not that he’s going slowly but you slide closer on the bed to meet his hand, anyway. Two of his fingers are so thick and feel so good stroking the front of your walls that this could be it for you. If Sephiroth didn't even penetrate you, just came on your stomach right now and left, you would consider this a great experience. A win for you.

You were supposed to be guiding him but you’re losing control of the situation. You sink slowly deeper, deeper, deeper. The warm water is about to slip over your mouth when you squeeze his wrist and reluctantly rip your mouth from his.

“Stop!”

You’re treated to an astonished look. It's the furthest from calm and collected you've ever seen him. You have to laugh, telling him nothing is wrong. The poor man was doing so well and you just yelled at him in the middle of it.

“I’m sorry. But if we don’t really get started right now…”

He blinks, understanding. The way his nostrils flare, you could almost mistake the fire in his eyes for anger. That would be a mistake, a mismatch to this situation. What he was feeling was a burning need. A burden.

Guilt punches you softly in the gut. You had been enjoying yourself immensely just now, with no thought about his needs.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you ask, leaning up from the bed.

He pushes your chest gently to get you to lie back down. “No.”

“You’re not going to break me.”

He avoids your eyes. “Like you said, let’s get started.”

You don't feel acquainted enough to push him about it–contrary to the situation you both find yourselves in–and you yearn to relieve him of his pain. He ends up insisting you be the one to insert him inside you. But lying down, all you can do is bend it down and tuck the head inside. But even that has you silently groaning, because it's warm, firm and thick enough to press down toward your anus, giving a taste of the fullness you're about to experience. There's still some lingering pressure from before, dully demanding why it wasn't relieved from Sephiroth's fingers minutes before.

It's good that you didn't. Sephiroth is still a man and as such, he wants more. He slides his hips forward slowly. The stretch is still painful and you give it your all to keep the truth off your face.

“Does it hurt?”

Lucky guess, you think to yourself.

“Yep.” As soon as you feel him retreat, even a centimetre, you wrap your legs around his hips. “Nope, don't stop. Let's get this over with.”

Sephiroth sees that you've got a small smile and he relaxes again.

You thank whatever gods exist that Sephiroth has the strength and control to make shallow, precise movements, chipping away at the tightness of your core, giving him room to thrust deeper, bit by bit.

Even though lust is clouding over Sephiroth's gaze, you guide him down for a kiss, in case he needs a distraction from any doubts. He stops his movements briefly to concentrate on how you lead the kiss to something deeper. He leans farther into you, taking more of what you're offering and resumes thrusting, but faster.

When he pulls away and opens his eyes, you ask, “How does it feel?”

“You squeeze me and it feels heavenly, but like I’m being pushed out. When you relax, I feel welcomed inside.”

Your response is a mixture of shock and embarrassment at his assessment. You can't imagine his mission reports contain such language. You reassure him again that everything is fine, though, you remembered at that very unlucky moment that this isn't a bedroom but a lab with a bed chucked inside. If you tightened up around him, he didn't notice. You encouraged him to wrap his arms tighter around you. Here he was, needing your help and your encouragement, and here you were, desiring his protective embrace. You felt a small measure of guilt, poisoning the experience. But that was only true if the professor hadn't poisoned it from the beginning. You had to wonder where the beginning even was.

But there’s no point in dwelling on the negative when the hero of Shinra is between your legs. It’s with that last though you finally come. Sephiroth watches with wonder as your orgasm takes you. As soon as your body relaxes, he pulls you close and smashes his mouth against yours. He seems intent on smothering his own cry, as it comes in the form a stuttering, strained hum. He pulls back with a low sigh that almost sounds reluctant.

Reluctance or not, this wasn’t just a fun one-night stand. The post-coitus warm fuzzies can’t change the fact that the room is still sterilized, lab grey. That Professor Hojo is still waiting somewhere for you both to be done. The truth blankets the both of you like a thin layer of ash. He gives you a soft smile but it makes you sad instead of happy.

“You’ve…made this enjoyable…”

Sephiroth struggles awkwardly to communicate his gratitude but your mind tugs you towards the door. He looks down between you and realizes he’s still keeping you there by remaining inside you. After seeing that, you’re torn. You do want to leave but you also don’t want this to be the last time you see him. Before he can move, you gently clap your hands to either side of his face, to his surprise.

“You did well.”

That reassures him well enough. He carefully retreats from your body. You sit up and close your legs. Sephiroth grabs both of your robes and hands you yours. You mutter a grateful thanks. He does some stretching, rolling his shoulders, and it has him looking more at ease in his body after. Though you wonder how much of it is real based on what you saw between him and the professor.

“There’s a bathroom. There,” he says.

You look where he’s pointing. There’s a plain door, blending in with the wall that you didn’t notice before.

“There are no cameras in there. I checked earlier.”

[echo-and-dust]

now that my brain has somewhat unscrambled itself i have gotten most of my thoughts in order about season 3.

and the first thing i will say is: i loved it.

while it was gutwrenching and polarizing in some ways and i feel that i am entitled to financial compensation for what its done to my mental health, i loved this season for pretty much almost everything it did.

i cannot fault people for having issues with much of the characterization and plot choices made—that’s been the trend during the entire run of the show after all, and imo it’s a testament to the phenomenal way it generates nuance—but i wanted to share my feelings on the recurring opinions i’ve seen about some of these things.

first, i do not blame simon at all for the things he said in the final scene. he’s a child who has been receiving endless verbal and physical harassment on top of all the trauma he is still trying to heal from. he just watched his boyfriend lash out in anger and hurt—while not at him, but it must’ve been a close resemblance of how he might’ve seen micke act. at least, that's what i thought, though i've seen others say otherwise.

and yes, wille is not micke, but just because wille’s source of outbursts is different from micke’s doesn’t mean simon is wrong in drawing similarities. at least he's finally getting a true glimpse into what wille has had to deal with. i've honestly grown to like that they didn't have simon immediately comfort him though; wille's mental illness is not his fault, but it is his responsibility, and instead of pushing a message of unhealthy co-dependence, the show has simon be honest: "but i see that everything hurts you and that hurts me too." and to me, that's so important.

plus, it doesn't make their love any less genuine. wille is a victim of the circumstances; he is not evil, and he is not undeserving of simon. he just has a lot of growing and healing to do, a lot of unlearning and exposure therapy because he's still blinded by privilege even when he tries not to be.

speaking of, i have so many thoughts about wille that i feel like i need to save for its own separate post, but to sum them up: i'll still defend him with my life, and he needs to get the fuck away from that institution.

also, the fact that the responsibility of controlling simon's media decisions was placed solely on wille confused me at first like—why wouldn't they get a professional to give him proper media training?

then i realized, this could be the royal court's way of sabotaging their relationship. they knew that making wille the one to tell simon what he can and cannot say or post would create distance and animosity between them. despite the ramifications of simon's behavior on social media, it seems they still thought it best to have his boyfriend be the one to try to mold him into the system. because they knew that's how they could get rid of him. in conclusion, fuck the royal court (we been knew but still).

one of the standouts this season was their transparency regarding the show's politics. it not only works well with the show's arc (wilmon is public, everything's out in the open now and there's nothing to hide), but also it felt necessary at a time where censorship has been rapidly gaining momentum. it felt so refreshing for these characters to talk so openly about racial discrimination and queerphobia and class disparities, forcing both character and viewer to acknowledge that they exist and you should feel uncomfortable about it.

i don't think i can add much more to what was already said about it—most of the fandom is more eloquent and observant than i am anyway—i just wanted to reinforce how important this season is to myself and the story even with how controversial it is to fans right now. a lot of people may disagree with me and that's fine.

[hwaightme]

I’ve been thinking of mentioning offhandedly to best friend!Yunho that you imagine romantic scenarios to help you sleep. You complain that it’s a little embarrassing and you hate that you kind of depend on them now.

He asks you questions out of genuine intrigue at first because he’s never heard of that before. “Who do you imagine?” “Celebrities, sometimes it’s just vaguely attractive men.” “And are you guys like kissing or what?” “Maybe? Most times they’re just comforting me or doing something for me. Honestly most of the time I just want to be cuddled.”

I feel like you don’t mean for it to be a desperate request, but Yunho takes it that way. Then he asks you if him cuddling you would help you sleep. You know… just so you don’t have to make up scenarios anymore. Totally not in a super adorable caring boyfriend-esque type of way.

ooOoooOh this- oh i can so see it- this is so so sweet ;~; and would be very like yunho to then try as he might to figure out a way to be that "dream" guy, so to speak~ with him realising only when he is in too deep that he is literally turning into a boyfriend but not officially your boyfriend but he is acting like one and wants to be one

thank you so much my love!!! more thoughts below (wc. 630 oops):

i feel like this would happen while you are watching a romance film/anime together one night, and get into a conversation about 'dreaming of love'. maybe it is because you are a little sleepy and so your filters have gone down, or maybe it is because it is yunho you are talking to, you end up sharing what you have never told anyone before.

"i mean... it is sweet, and it does stop the brain noise, but i feel like it is just... another type of noise. ugh, not sure why i even-"

"oh no no, continue," you fail to hear any hint of judgement from him, in fact, if anything, he looks curious, and prior drowsiness from having watched multiple episodes in a row has evaporated.

you end up explaining, slowly, tentatively, what these dreams and thoughts entail, while yunho tries to picture what it would be like, until...

"...most of the time i just want to be cuddled." while other things you mentioned are a little more abstract, or at least you positioned them as such, this mention of cuddling, innocent affection, safety, closeness sets off what can only be described as a firework or a fuse being blown in yunho's brain.

he doesn't know why he is affected by your comment, but he is. at the same time, he feels guilty, because how could he, your best friend of who knows how many years, not have noticed such a thing? it must be that he does not hug you enough, right? totally... totally best friend duties which he now must fulfil and exceed in.

is there any logic to his internal arguments? no, not really, but it feels natural when you start to shy away and he clicks his tongue, smiles, and pulls you towards him. you pretend to squirm away, mumbling that now you definitely want the earth to open beneath you because "how dare you pity and make a joke out of my vulnerability jeong yunho", but he gingerly holds you and you feel too comfortable hiding in his arms.

"uhm... well... you said you don't want to be dependent on it... right?"

"yeah?" you answer, focusing on the soft thrum of his heart right against your ear, and the mumbling television in the background, long-forgotten.

"how about i.. help you... have a kind of holiday? from the scenario building?"

"what exactly are you suggesting..." you start to push away, but only manage to go back just enough to gaze up at yunho's face. you notice he is biting his lip again - nervous, in thought. what is he considering?

"nothing weird! just, i guess kind of like now, if you need a cuddle or whatever..."

"professional cuddler yuyu, now that's fresh."

as if yunho would stop there. slowly but surely, one thing after another shifts in your relationship, but it never goes out of bounds or feels out of line. cautiously, yunho sees what boundaries there are and tentatively tests them - many situations in which this happens you two have conquered before. grocery shopping, road trips, trips to gaming cafes... except now, more and more often, you feel his hand graze or remain on yours, and generally, yunho's presence feels a lot more real, a lot more personal, and a lot less friend-like.

one thing is for certain: now, when you got to sleep, be it while watching another film with yunho or listening to him attempting to play valorant with a relatively peaceful attitude, or even alone, the scenarios of celebrities and abstract figures are long gone. because now, the last thought of your night and the first thought of your morning are both

yunho

accompanied by the sweet nothings that he whispers to you when he thinks you are already in dreamland.

[eddiegettingshot]

i am genuinely curious where all the bucktommy shippers (and i mean the hardcore fanatics) get all there ideas from?? have i been watching a different show?? like where exactly in their 5 and a half scenes together are they really super duper in a honeymoon phase or why does it seem like they fuck each other like 50 times a day, what have i missed????? i am so confused

my theory is that it's some combination of the enormity of buck coming out and of having an actual canon ship to gush over for the first time probably ever while generally enjoying shipping through fanon content (this is why i genuinely feel like a lot of these people are destiel fans who need to make it everyone's problem lmao no offense).

i think, functionally, those people are primarily engaging with bcktommy as if it's purely fanon and mostly just using canon for visual fodder/a jumping-off point. imo the canonical reality of bcktommy doesn't matter as much to people who enjoy playing around with ships in general or have only ever shipped couples who were never going to go canon, because the meta and headcanoning and alternative readings of scenes and narrative potential in general are satisfying enough in themselves, and on top of that they get to yell about how they have the canon ship, everyone!!!

imo that's why there's been so much post-7x09 cope that goes something like "yeah, buck and tommy didn't touch or appear intimate at all, BUT if you read it like actually buck put his hand in his pocket because he wanted to touch tommy so bad but was trying to keep it professional, well, that's super romantic! they're in love!" forgetting all the while that THE SHIP IS CANON, THIS DOESN'T NEED TO BE SUBTEXT OR LEFT UP TO INTERPRETATION, THEY CAN SHOW THAT OUTRIGHT!! they SHOULD show that outright! (of course buddie shippers do this too to an extent, but the difference is that buddie isn't canon!)

but people who aren't actually interested in engaging with the ship in this way, whether that's people who actively dislike it or who are just here for bi buck and aren't invested in his relationship with tommy specifically, don't get any enjoyment out of making stuff up around these two random guys. so because we're taking the content on the show pretty much at face value and not investing a lot into thinking about what it all means, or what it could mean, i think there's maybe... more clarity around what's just. on screen? so bcktommy is just not that convincing, especially if we're seeing buck and eddie as the "competing" ship (and are... being encouraged to see buck and eddie as the competing ship, honestly).

there's nothing actually Wrong with this obviously. my judgment is purely reserved for people who act this way and then turn around and get on their high horse about buddie for some reason. and when it comes to those people, the fact that bcktommy is canon combined with the fact that you're essentially trying to go against something that's fully made up to be fulfilling in their heads combined with whatever weird classic fandom ship war shit makes it impossible to meet in the middle lol. these are just my observations tho

[utilitycaster]

I HAVE VEILGUARDED. everything below the cut for spoiler reasons. I will also say to the anon I shut down earlier (again, me not you!) that I do intend to do a second run because I had a marvelous time, I would really love to do the Dock Town quests and explore Neve's other options (and romance her, frankly) and check out some of the other companion options (honestly I'd be open to almost all of them except for Lichdom. sorry I refuse to leave Manfred dead and I'm correct.) and maybe this time I'll actually solve the stupid wisp puzzles and get all the chests and uhhhhh maybe even play on Easy mode instead of Easier Than Easy mode (because lbr my equipment does not matter a ton because. story mode.)

because I am a good girl and did all the quests everyone lived. I also accidentally got the best ending, because Rook in this run is a romantic and optimistic person. This is funny to me because I am god's greatest hater and so I am ROLEPLAYING a character who is like yeah inquisitor go be with your boyfriend who looks like a stupid egg. I did have the Diet Essence Of Mythal but I've been informed the secret even better ending only hits if you know other past characters, which I don't, so whomst cares!

Takes on characters from previous games in brief. Obviously Harding is great. Solas gets his happy ending and that is FINE I guess. Generic Default Inquisitor Lavellan is like. again Rook is like "do what makes you happy but I am like DUMP HIM. which means that while Morrigan is very "I say things in a portentous voice that are extremely obvious" to me, her deep and abiding hater tendencies towards Solas do it for me. Obviously Varric is great as well. Dorian and Mae? Great (unsure if Mae is in previous games but anyway, love her). Not sure who else is a returning character but I think that covers the bulk of it.

This is very out of order but: because no one died other than of course Davrin in the Isle of the Gods, the pay respect for the dead scene is unintentionally really fucking funny to me, a person who has had to go into morgues for professional reasons. Literally like I walk into a morgue where I know zero people. I walk out. I pass Teia and Viago flirting aggressively as an archdemon ravages Minrathous. I continue.

The final conversations are really good; blighted Neve is of course horrifying but she gets better and her nailpolish, crucially, is not chipped. This is HILARIOUS to me. The final romance line with Bellara is lovely. The ending conversations are all really good but Taash's and Emmrich's were my favorite outside of Bellara's. My girlfriend and I are going to hang out with griffons and she's going to write so much fanfiction about us and it will be unhinged.

Hilarious and sexy of me to wear the appearance of the shadow dragons armor I got literally in like. Shadows of Minrathous or something. the entire fucking time. You can see it in the screenshots and I assure you it's only for the vibes (deep V neck and sick chest tats), I am actually in +8 Warden Champion full plate armor and wearing some wild-ass helm (I did not at any point hide the appearance of my shield. even when I was using the gaudiest gold one that looks like a shell from the lords of fortune. I eventually got a very sick-ass Mourn Watch shield). But it does feel really funny to like, pick Treviso, send Neve to the shadow realm, and wear this armor the full time. I literally didn't see Tarquin for like 2.5 acts.

Elger'nan's first form is weak to necrotic damage. I took Taash and Lucanis. I am fully statted out as a reaper. I have an AOE that does over a thousand necrotic damage. genuinely it was a comedy, I triggered the cut scene where Neve goes to the throne and wrests control so Solas can kill the archdemon almost immediately. Second battle was harder but also level 50 story mode so it was FINE.

I do think a Trick Solas ending would be fun; fighting him seems like it would just kind of suck but like. It's funny I actually really did feel grateful after Blood of Arlathan and then after he stuck me in the mind prison I was like FUCK THIS GUY FOR REAL even after he helped us through in the endgame and killed the archdemon.

Lords of Fortune continue to be hilarious to me. There's a codex that's very BY OUR POWERS COMBINED right before the final assault on Minrathous that I described thusly:

Then in the final scene before the narration the Lords are pulling people out of the wreckage. Imagine you're in a world-ending fight during an eclipse with wild-ass mood lighting and you are trapped under rubble as a horrifying blight tentacle monster rages above and then it all stops and THEN someone in a gold bikini helps you up.

In all seriousness the fact that the Mourn Watch and Lords of Fortune don't come up in the final narration does have me like. yeah whoever wrote their faction quests should have worked harder. I know the mourn watch is largely unscathed because there's no point blighting the undead but like, idk, I feel there could have been more venatori work there that tied into Zara's whole deal, and the Antaam or Wardens ties to Rivain could have been more thoroughly explored. Taash and Emmrich's companion questlines are fantastic but even playing Mourn Watch and loving the build and the vibe, I was like hmmmm this is underserved.

Second hater moment: loved the song over the credits but it felt jarring as hell to have a modern sound here. stick to the hans zimmer. this reminds me, I should listen to the soundtrack because as my Midst Mutuals can attest I am literally the worst at noticing themes. I know Harding's and Emmrich's because I really like them and like, I vaguely recall Lucanis's because it's got accordion elements but otherwise I'm like uhhhhh if it's not the main theme or the Solas theme I'm confused.

I also realized that hilariously, if you like Neve or Lucanis but are ok with romancing someone else (and I very much am) it's actually kind of great to fuck over their city because then you feel justified in taking them out on every single mission to try to up your bond level.

Finished with Lucanis, Harding, and Bellara fully level 10 and everyone else level 9 (including Davrin, RIP); I do wonder how you can get everyone to 10. I might have assigned some quests badly but also like, 9 ain't bad.

anyway feel free to ask questions; this was great and I'm so happy I did it.

[ticklish-n-stuff]

How ADA members react to you telling them you like being tickled

Atsushi:

"Oh cool!... what's that?" poor Atsushi doesn't know what tickling is and stares at you expectantly with curious cat eyes

It was embarrassing enough to tell him that you liked being tickled, but now you had to go into full-on detail to explain it to him?!

You somehow manage to tell him through stutters and your face heating up by the second.

Once it clicks on his head, he'd give you a warm smile and say "I'd love to try tickling you sometime, if you'll let me of course"

How could you say no to that?!

Dazai: @duckymcdoorknob

Kunikida:

He'd honestly feel delighted that you trusted him with something so intimate, not that he'd tell you that though.

He'd reassure you with a soft smile and a headpat, before switching back to his teasing grin.

"So... that means you'll let me tickle you whenever?~ Hmm... what if I made you ask for it, would that make it worse?~"

Prepare yourself, he'll do whatever it takes to turn you into a blushing, stuttering mess before the actual tickling begins.

Be ready for him to ghost over your spots and make you ask for tickles. But don't worry, he'll reward you with lots of cuddles afterwards~♡

In that moment, Kunikida felt something pop. It was actually his heart from how freaking adorable he found your shy confession over something so cute and innocent!

He'd try and fail to act all professional about it, cracking a soft smile and a small blush even though you were the embarrassed one

But his demeanor did calm down your nerves a bit.

He'd then proceed to ask you all kinds of questions like "what do you like about tickling", "favorite spot? Soft or rough tickles?" etc.

You could feel your soul slowly leave your body with each question but he'd reassure you

And he'd note down all your answers in his notebook, making a page dedicated to just that.

Ranpo: @nervousswitch

"I know" he'd reply nonchalantly to your confession, making your mouth gape open in shock.

"Oh c'mon Y/N, you're not that discrete about it. It doesn't take the world's greatest detective to figure that out~"

At that moment you wished you could just sink deep into the ground.

"Haha! Don't worry, I still find you adorable for it" he'd tease before pouncing on you, tackling you to the ground and straddling your waist.

"I don't even need to use super deduction to figure out your spots~"

Y/n was never heard from again/j

Yosano:

"Oh really? So you like it when I do this?~"

She doesn't waste any time trying out her newly learnt information. Already trying to find all your tickle spots.

"Laugh louder if I found a good spot~" she teased as her fingers would reduce you to a puddle of laughter and squeals

Kenji:

"Really? That's so cute!~ I bet you have a wonderful laugh! I'd love to tickle you sometime~"

How could you say no to that angelic face of his??

Although don't let that deceive you, with his strenght it'll be a piece of cake to hold you down.

Tanizaki:

"Aww that's... pretty cute actually~ Does that mean I can tickle you whenever now?" he'd chuckle at the sight of your blushing face, not like you were opposed to that.

He'd then constantly tease you at work, poking your side when you're not looking just to get a reaction.

"Haha, sorry! I can't help myself, you're just too cute~"

Kyoka:

She'd probably only think as tickling as a form of torture, so she asks you to explain why you like it so much.

Once you tell her about the more playful side of tickling, she'd remember back when her parents would tickle her. Such fond memories. It brings a smile to her face

"I'd be happy to endulge you whenever you'd like"

Fukuzawa:

Also has a hard time controlling himself from how cute he finds you in that moment.

"That's... interesting"

He wouldn't say much, letting his actions speak for himself.

He'd casually place you on his lap and give you the gentlest of tickles.

"Is this okay? Are you enjoying yourself?"

His questions were genuine as your comfort was his priority, but that didn't stop you from feeling flustered as heck!

[spilledmilkfkdies]

How do you think the wizards would act if there were embarrassed or flustered?

Hhhhhhhmmmmmmm

I'm guessing this is more so focused on embarrassed and flustered (affectionate), rather than their ways of dealing with full on shame (derogatory), but with the latter I'd honestly say they'd just get annoyed and pissy. Getting beaten by some freshly adult fairies as if they don't have hundreds of years of experience? Genuine anger and annoyance. All of them, because I can talk about Anagan being the best of them all I want, that doesn't take away from the fact that they're each comfortably positioned on differently sized high horses. They like the view. Now onto the main event.

Under non derogatory circumstances Ogron will just try to play it off, but depending on how much the cause of his predicament gets to him, he'll be noticeably less successful. Huffs, rolls his eyes, adjust his hair and whatnot. Mayhaps even a little bit of. Hand to face. Covering his mouth to give himself a fighting chance. If we dare.

Gantlos is too good at hiding it, unfortunately, unless you know what to look for. At most there are some nose exhales and a bit less eye contact- But try to pick up on that when he has the ultimate defense: Hat. Mans is a professional. Just because it's easy to miss does not mean nothing's happening though. I'll just put that out there.

Anagan blushes, let's start there. Lil bit of color in his face, ears if you're lucky, love to see it. He gets a bit giggly, attempts to drag others right down with him. With varying levels of succes. He enjoys not being the only flustered person in a situation, so what better defense than damning everyone else while he's at it.

Duman lacks the reasonable amount of shame to get easily embarrassed or flustered, he needed the space for ego. Huge downside to this is that often times actually getting to him is met by annoyance, no matter the context or the situation. Expect certain looks, comments, general pissy-ness. He much prefers being the one doing the embarrassing and flustering.

[subiysu-chan]

It must be a different kind of pain when your heart belongs to a person who doesn't know how to love. I'm talking about Jean Baptiste and Marie Josephe. You can't get through them, because they don't want to let you in. They're emotionally unavailable.

And I suppose having sex with them won't lessen the heaviness in your heart— you know that in their eyes, they don't see the act as intimately as you do.

They're repulsed at the idea of someone having romantic affection for them at all. If you express any admiration or adoration to these people, I'm certain they'll immediately jump into a manner that's both disgusted and defensive, 'Who are you to assume you truly know me?' kind of way. Oops, now they're immediately distancing themselves away from you. Way to go!

Okay, like daughter like father, they're both awful. Whatever, they still got some aspects to love about. The majority of the Sansons are capable of love, so why is Jean Baptiste and Marie Josephe like this? How do you get them to lower their guard and seep your way into their heart? What do you think they truly desire from someone in order to reciprocate the person's feelings?

I think Jean-Baptiste and Marie-Josèphe, while both emotionally unavailable, are so in very different ways.

Jean-Baptiste clearly loves his mother, at the exclusion of everybody else. However, to have only one object of affection for your entire life cannot be healthy. Also, there is no way this man ever could develop a sense of identity outside of being an executioner. Most modern torturers and professional killers have a "normal self persona, the default personality that developped in early childhood" and a "ruthless killer personality". With Jean-Baptiste, ruthless executioner and torturer is the default personality, with honestly very little outside of it.

He is able to love his children, but would only show this affection very conditionally as a reward for behaving how he wants, or when they are unconscious, when it's more of a genuine affection.

Now, that man, as a boy between 7 and 19, had rivals lining up for his position. Rivals that were fully grown men, mind you. He was in a semi-incestuous relationship with his mother, and at some point, with Madeleine Tronson, the daughter of his "father figure", a somewhat mentally incestuous union that resulted in a death, and two offspring, of which Charles-Henri is the second. To add insult to injury, his younger brother envied the semi-incestuous, and at the very least mentally abusive attention, Jean-Baptiste received from his mother. Anne-Marthe is plenty physically abusive herself, and they were at a time of "spare the rod, spoil the child", in which physical discipline was a mark that a parent cared for their child. And Nicolas-Gabriel was jaleous of that abusive attention. Her, let's say selective aftercare probably worsened the relations between the two brothers, but I think Gabriel dodged a bullet, here. Oh, and he did have a big sister who ran away with her lover when he was 13 years old. Add to that being forced to kill people, and you have a recipe for mental disaster.

Marie-Josèphe...She does express, narratively to herself, sadness when she believes Charles rejects her. At one point, she asks him if he finds her disgusting for being able to kill without a second thought. To a normal person, it doesn't probably mean much. But for someone who's been raised a pariah, caring what someone else thinks of you must be very intimate, implying a certain degree of trust. She is enraged and griefstricken when Alain is killed in front of her.

With Marie-Josèphe, her ability to love is hidden between layers of honestly betrayal. At the ripe age of two, she witnessed her brother being tortured. She then mimicked that behavior on her doll. I honestly don't want to think what it would do, mentally to a child that young, to see a sibbling being tortured. She was tortured herself by her own grandmother at age 5. Said brother, much later, completely changed his personality overnight, in a sense. When she was tortured, her own mother didn't lift a single finger to help her. Her father...Well, Jean-Baptiste is Jean-Baptiste, and he's not an affectionate parent. Alain left her, and was shortly killed after their reunion. Plus, she was raped at age 10...So, again, the fact she has any ability for affection after being betrayed so many times is surprising.

Honestly, both would need years of therapy, and I don't think their mental state is even salvageable at any point. Marie-Josèphe was actively wanting to kill people since age 4, and was honestly, never taught proper morals by anyone. She is a very underwritten character...So we can only speculate. I think her real chance of finding romantic love would be someone to tell her how absolutely f-cked up her family is. Now, in terms of personalities she is drawn to, they are extremely kind people who seek to make the world a better place, perhaps gravitating towards a goodness, a sense of justice she lacks in herself.

For Jean-Baptiste, he probably knows he's not normal, but probably on a purely cognitive level. The "respectable" individuals on his economic strata, that he knows personally, are absolute monsters, and I think even he knows they are bad people, and probably doesn't want to be associated with them. They also look down on him. Why would anyone want to compare themselves to sadistic creep who looks down on them ? He knows his mother wants to for some reason, but his mother is a woman who sees anyone of her own sex as a rival.

For mutual, healthy relationships, it's probably only friendships with other men. His probably exclusively heterosexual, in an emotionally incestuous relationship with his mother. For him, sexual attraction and familial love go together. Also, it's likely for him, showing he has basic humanity is more intimate than having sex. He really never had a place to express that, outside of religious self-harm. He probably fears, especially after his stroke, that showing humanity would probably cost him: the love of his mother, the authority he has over his wife and kids. His way of showing love is to "be strong" for someone. Like, when he acted like typical angry dad when Marie-Josèphe sadistically massacred Griffin in front on him. Anne-Marthe is the type of person who, I think deep down doesn't want neither children nor a husband, but brainwashed killing machines working for her benefit, just having sons and grandsons is the easiest way to get that. I think someone, who would genuinely show him that they would not think anyless of him because of his heart would drastically transform him. It won't happen over night, and it won't "fix" him, but it will allow a door to be open in his mind.

[rottenbrainstuff]

Calgary fan expo 2024:

(Long post, apologies)

Survived! The last year I was at the artist alley at a fanexpo was I think…. 2019? and I can’t even remember the last year I was at the expo just as a regular attendee, and not as a vendor… must be at least ten years ago by now I think. I had a lot of thoughts yesterday.

But first of all I did want to say, like I said yesterday, Neil Newbon was I think the nicest actor that I’ve ever met at one of these, I really mean that.

The smaller-name actors are always more fun than the bigger names, partly because they tend to not have their heads stuck up their own asses like some of the bigger folks, but also just simply that their lineups are also much much smaller, so you have more time to actually chat with them. (Popular actors can be very much a “hi hello, my name is x, thank you! Bye! situation) All my best memories of getting autographs at cons have been with smaller actors and voice actors and stuff, hands down 100%.

And I’m serious, Neil was the nicest actor I’ve ever met at a con. He is so gracious and polite, humble, and honestly seems to genuinely love interacting with his fans. I had in my head my little lines I wanted to say, so I could make sure I said everything I wanted in the tiny amount of time they allow you to talk to the actor, and then he messed up my little script by wanting to have an actual little chat. We talked about my oldest daughter in Switzerland, and how expensive everything is there, and he said hello to my kids and talked to them a bit, and teased me a little. I said the thing I wanted to, which was to say congratulations for all the accolades and how important BG3 has been to the fans, and he said he appreciates that because the fans are why he does this stuff, truly. Honestly I think he would have chatted even more but I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by then and like that was my cue to leave. What a nice guy though? Dang.

His panel was great as well, British actors are always so interesting because they tend to take acting very academically and professionally, he had a great, smart answer for everything, and so polite even when there were some very nervous people having trouble articulating what they wanted to say. (He also said Larian was an amazing company to work for, and prioritizes their people and their fans over profit, which is so refreshing)

What a lovely dude. I was a fan before but I have to say I think now I’m a little in love.

(btw the one other actor I also really remember talking to and having a great chat with was Tony Todd, who was here like, a million years ago, also such a nice freaking guy, giant goddamned hands, we had a big chat about theater and community theater and stuff.)

Besides that, which was amazing, the whole thing was a bit bittersweet. I had a lot of feelings. I’ve been attending these expos almost since they first began, watching them get bigger and bigger and more exciting. A few years ago the expo chain was bought by an American company and.. the vibe has really changed since then. It’s not all negative, not at all: things feel really well organized now in terms of crowd control, which used to be um. Somewhat of a notorious issue for our expo, to put it mildly. But… the whole feeling of the show has also changed. Like one of my coworkers said, it feels kind of like just going to a big market. I miss the old announcer that used to come on, I miss the silly little extra events they had like the geek speed dating, I miss the Viking village that they used to have out in the front, just… the little things that made it feel less corporate and more like this exciting passionate convention for all the geeky things you like.

I went to the artist alley and was curious to see if I could find some of my old con buddies, people who I had got to know over the years I attended as an artist. I was kind of surprised that I couldn’t find a single one. In fact I only recognized a handful of booths as ones I had seen regularly in the past: it seems the majority are new. In addition, the artist alley seems to be about half the size it was when I was attending. I was hoping to see old friends to be able to ask them how things were going with the show recently with the new management, but I guess the fact that none of them were there kind of speaks for itself.

Again it’s a bit sad, but in a weird way it also makes me feel a bit better, somehow. I miss doing these shows, so much, and I feel so frustrated with myself that I don’t have the energy to keep up with it anymore. This really used to be the absolute hilight of my year, once upon a time. Somehow it’s a little comforting to know that I’m not the only one who couldn’t continue to do it.

It was nice to bring my younger kids, anyways. My oldest used to really enjoy attending the expos, and I’m happy I got to share that with them as well.

I’m proud of myself - due to my anxiety I was waffling quite a bit on whether or not I should even bother going, but I feel generally that I’m happy I got over that and ended up going.

[spicybylerpolls]

Hi! Adding my two cents to the bad fanfiction writing debate.

Lots of fanfic authors don't read anything but fanfiction, and are more interested in their favorite characters than they are in reading or writing itself. Obviously, big readers make good writers, and for that you need to read lots of things, not just fanfiction written by other fans who don't have editors of any sort. You need to read novels, nonfiction, articles, copy, textbooks, even the back of crisp packets.

Even writers who have beta'd works are often working with other fans who don't have any professional experience or training in how to edit. Some writers are intuitive, sure, but they can always benefit from editing.

My pet hate: describing a character by their hair colour when its irrelevant to the plot. Maybe your character finds it sexy, and you're writing a sex scene. But if it's just there so you dont have to saythe characters name again, then your sentence structure itself needs reviewing.

All this said, fanfic is meant to be fun so it's a space where people are free to be a bit shit and learn haha, which is great. I just think it's a bit gross when people get angry at criticism. Sure, you didn't ask for critique, but by putting your work out there, you kind of did. Any artist who shares work (in any platform) should expect to be critiqued. Obviusly there is meanness and then there is criticism, but if a lot of fanfic writers are young people with egos and hormones running wild, it's no surprise they can't handle criticism well. Accepting criticism gracefully and learning from it is something writers and artists of all kinds learn when training in their field. But like I said, if your fanfic writer isn't interested in the craft of writing, and only their character/fandom, then they won't be interested in improvement in that way.

Hmm, yeah I've definitely experienced some fanfic that seems to... let's say... have beef with the basic grammatical structures of the English language. (Honestly, most of us use A03, but back when Wattpad was more widely used, this was even more noticeable. Sometimes it was genuinely hard to decipher what people were trying to say). You're right about some fanfic writers being very green and unrefined, more interested in just engaging with their fandom and getting their feelings about their favorite characters out there than in storycraft best practices. (That's probably where fanfic got the negative reputation it has in some corners of the world, where people see it as unserious and as writing that's "less" real).

That being said, there's also a lot of amazing fanfic writers out there in the Byler fandom and in every fandom, and they should be given their flowers. Many of these stories are better than Hollywood movies and bestselling books. And fandom is ultimately about fun, so if someone genuinely isn't interested in the craft of writing and just wants their blorbos to kiss, I'd say that's fine too. There's an audience for that, there's really no right way or wrong way to do things, and there's obviously a fine line between constructive criticism and just mean-spirited attacks. But I think it's ultimately a balancing act. Curating your own taste both in writing and reading takes time.

[musepondersthings]

Here is EXCITED RAMBLINGS with Muse over a VERY SWAG Nanami fic written by pennjammin here on tumblr, you can find the fic here! Please go check their work out!

(Preface: this ramble is ripped directly from my notes app! No editing done besides text breaks, this is my live reaction to everything)

Thus begins the: “EXCITED MUSE RAMBLINGS” vol. 1, formatted on tumblr mobile.

Establishing a relationship and a dynamic between the reader and Nanami early on is great, specifically the reader being very involved in supporting his family as he works. It’s a genuine act of kindness! To go above any beyond as a support for him and already know his close family. To me it feels like it makes the picture more fleshed out and their relationship has an added layer of depth. I don’t blame reader for having a crush on dilf Nanami.

Reading over the situation, Nanami HAS to know about Reader’s feelings, if they’re being super obvious about it, he’s not one to miss those sort of things. Knowing him he likely thinks he HAS to have a professional boundary between him and reader, and doesn’t want to mix those aspects of his life. Oooh but reader is showing up at his party, where there’s probably going to be alcohol and he’ll be less guarded…

AWWW HERE HE IS!!! The dad joke is adorable, Nanami’s introduction is well done. He’s looking scrumptious tho. Yes wow he’s super unguarded, he’s being very open with reader. He has to be SMASHED right now, given how he’s described and his general demeanor, he’s much more laid back that usual. The talk about his kids and the wife fits perfectly. A call back to established relationship fits like a glove here. I enjoy the sllllow burn and establishment of prior events. I’m a sucker for lore and world building.

Good god Nanami is head over heels for reader. I can sense it. The way he treats them compared to his other workers is special, not that he treats his workers badly, but how he talks to them is notably more laid back, and dare I say, intimate. The introduction of Agnes and how he dealt with the girl talking to him really shows off the magnitude of his feelings, intended from him or not.

The reader’s thoughts are so captivating to me. The obsessiveness of putting themselves down for their crush yet leaning so far into it, makes me want to yell to em that their feelings are valid!!! /pos.

Augh Nanami is so sweet!! “Meanie” he is DRUNK drunk oh my lord. Despite everything he’s trying so hard to make reader comfortable and this shows how much he truly cares for them. Even while drunk, at a party he’s hosting, he takes time to take reader aside and listen to them and talk. The moment where reader says they should get to know each other better is nice, I enjoy the brief exploration of their relationship which has been “professional” thus far. Professional in quotes due to reader being HEAD OVER HEELS for Nanami and him acting like he doesn’t realize they’re flirting.

Said exploration attempted by the reader is cut off by Nanami approaching reader with a bluntness only alcohol can draw from him thus far lol. I find it interesting that their roles are reversed in this moment, he’s being very obvious while they’re “ oblivious” (not truly).

The sheer hunger of this man to eat reader out is astounding. He’s on readers level of adoration, if not more. He was just really good at hiding it.

HE STILL. TAKES TIME. TO BE NICE. AND DOUBLE CHECK FOR CONSENT. Consent is HOT!! The way he moves when given the word really shows how long he’s been waiting, he takes off their clothes so quickly, in three swift moments. How Nanami shuts down reader’s self deprecation of their body, how he needs *verbal consent* and double checks if they’re okay just melt my heart.

Christ, he’s so good at this reader is speechless, honestly I would be too. Being very conscious about how his actions affects them is refreshing to see.

There is such tenderness in Nanami’s actions and words even while he’s being mean. This is a very intimate act, there’s truly love and care there, and it just amplifies the entire thing. The slow buildup of trust, the comfort of being able to share fantasies and indulge in them together is delicious. The descriptions here during this scene has me captivated, just wonderful.

This moment of Nanami confiding just how MUCH he cares for reader and wants to have them a part of their family… it brings tears to my eyes. The passing of power, the amount of trust that takes, how he wants to repay reader is so wonderfully loving. The sex is so *hot*, and love they both feel for each other is always there. They play off of each other nicely both in and out of the bedroom, Reader awakening a breeding kink in Nanami catches him so off guard, they both can read each other like a book!

The after sex conversation is so down to earth, checking in, affirming that he only intends for this side of him to be for reader. It’s so tender. Both a heartwarming and sexy fic. I would read like. A novel about them.

This concludes “MUSE’S EXCITED RAMBLINGS” vol. 1

[behindthewox]

Criticism is hard

I've been quiet for a while to allow some time to pass and the EU site leaders to work out the kinks (but also due to IRL commitments) and from what I've heard the opinions are still pretty mixed.

The new site leaders published a feedback form a while back, which is a great idea and honestly should've been done sooner, but instead of just taking the feedback to heart amongst themselves they have now publicly responded to it in a notice board post. Some users in the comment section are very appreciative of this but based on my tumblr inbox there are those who disagree and think it's pretty bad and I kind of agree that it doesn't look all that good.

Yes, it's important to respond to feedback. But it has to be done carefully and at the end of the day it's the actions that really count, not the words you respond with. Actions like arguing against the critics and dismissing opinions as lies or untruthful speaks very loudly, and throwing blame on others is just plain disrespectful and unprofessional. The lack of actions speaks loudly too, and the choice of what feedback to act first on sends a clear message about priorities.

So how do you respond to criticism?

There's no simple answer, but in my experience the following points are generally agreed upon:

§ Humility is key when responding to feedback and criticism. Pride and arrogance will only screw you over and no matter how superior and infallible you think you are, you're not. § Be honest and truthful in a neutral manner. Don't make empty promises and if you want to share your feelings try to be genuine. § Your words mean nothing if they are not backed up by action. If there's no concrete suggestion on how to do it better, ask for advice on what you need to do differently in order to improve or make the changes your critic wants to see. Asking for more input is a great first action to take. § Be objective, try to look at the matter from both sides and see if you can relate to the critic. § Don't dismiss the concerns that your critic expresses, unless you can back up the dismissal with solid reasons for dismissing it. § The feelings and opinions of your critics are not wrong: feelings and opinions are personal and subjective, there is no right or wrong there. A critic can be incorrect but you should never imply that they are wrong in what they express to you. § Your own feelings and opinions generally don't belong in a response to feedback. Feelings can be irrational and when it comes to feedback and criticism it's not about what YOU think and feel, it's about what OTHERS think and feel. § Apologies are good - in moderation. Use them wisely and phrase them carefully. Remorse and regret is overall good for responding to criticism, but keep it minimal and professional. § Explanations can easily be interpreted as excuses, so sometimes it's better not to explain yourself but rather offer to explain it upon request. Critics are usually not objective and will actively look for flaws and weaknesses. § Don't share more information than necessary and always respect and protect the integrity and/or anonymity of your critics. Don't give them more reasons to criticise you. § Don't bring other people into it, especially not to put blame on them. There is absolutely no need to put other people in a bad light, if anything it just makes you look bad. § Don't pose yourself as the victim, even if you feel like you're the victim of unjustified criticism. If your response is more about you than about the critic, it's a bad response. § Read up on terms and concepts like "gaslighting", "victim blaming", "guilt tripping", "discrimination", "self-vicimization" and "minimization/downplaying (psychology)". Not everyone will recognise and identify it but to the people who do it looks really, really bad and they might accuse you of manipulation and (depending on the severity) even verbal and emotional abuse. Learn to recognise it so that you don't do it by accident to others.

Results may vary and what works in one situation might not work in another. The advice above is pretty generic but there will be always be nuance and exceptions that generic advice can't account for. Ultimately you should ask someone to look over your response and help you identify potential issues with it and help you finetune it before you hit send.

You will inevitably get it wrong sometimes and that's okay, as long as you learn from it and put in the time and effort to improve your skills over time. There will always be flaws and weak points in what you do and say but the goal here isn't to be flawless, the goal is simply to dodge as many bullets as possible and keep the damage to a minimum.

Criticism isn't easy and it takes a lot of practise but it's an extremely valuable skill to have in life. Both giving criticism and receiving and acting on it. I'm still learning and I might never fully master the art of criticism, but I'm pretty confident that I've got the basics down and I mostly know what I'm doing. Mostly. It's a work in progress :P

NOTE/CREDIT: This post is based on an anon submission where the anon criticised the Feedback Response on WoP EU and provided a few pointers on what they did wrong. I decided to take the rather harsh criticism and flip it into something less negative and more constructive that can be helpful to everyone, not just the individuals adressed in the submission. It's a mix of anon's original points (credit goes to them) and my additions with what I've learned over the years as well as personal experience, preferences and beliefs. I'm not an expert but it should align pretty well with the general consensus among the people who actually are experts in the field. Thanks for your submission and I hope you don't mind that I Frankensteined it, Anon. Please let me know what you think about this submission-flipping experiment of taking something negative and making something more constructive out of it.

[genshinconfessions]

About the patterns in vision holders: Hydro could also be some "doesn't really want to do what they're doing, if given a choice, but they don't have a choice"

Kokomi doesn't like being the head priestess, Xingqiu doesn't wanna be a part of the commerce guild, Candace has expressed she'd travel the world if she wasn't tied to Aaru Village, Ayato has expressed he wishes he had more time for Ayaka and Thoma but has to look out for other people first, Mona doesn't like just giving out readings because she doesn't like when people get disappointed or mad over their fate.

I'm not sure about Barbara, Yelan, Childe and Nilou tbh.

Despite this "theory" being made way before Fontaine, Furina was stuck for 500 years acting as the archon. Lucky for her, she did get the chance to be more what she wanted!

Not sure if Neuvilette fits this either.

Please do tell me about the remaining Hydros I couldn't fit in!

spoilers for various character stories

hmmmm this is quite interesting!!

i think out of everyone else, childe probably fits your theory best. he was originally quite a shy and careful kid, but after falling into the abyss, he completely changed personalities. in a way, you can say that everything he's done since has been against his (original) will!

i'm not sure about the others, but let's see:

barbara: possibly only works so hard because she wants to become/surpass jean in some way or another; in other words, she may not want to be the 'shining idol' that she actually is

yelan: her character stories mention that she's actually quite a frail and delicate person (due to inherited illnesses) and doesn't like to take life super seriously, yet her job is highly dangerous and she necessarily has to take every mission seriously

nilou: i genuinely couldn't find anything that points to her doing anything against her will :( her parents allowed her to do whatever she was happy doing, she's happy doing what she's doing, and everyone likes her

neuvi: it can be argued that he didn't actually want to be the iudex but felt obligated to do so because of focalors' invitation; also, he's made it very clear that he thinks some of his judgments are objectively cruel--fair, but cruel--which means that he made those decisions against his will

honestly, my previous theory about the hydro vision holders 'hiding a darker side to them' doesn't really hold for nilou, either.

if i were to answer that question now (with more thought), i might say that hydro vision users are people who take their professions/what they do very seriously and are able to detach work from life. it fits into what we've both said in that they have a different side to them professionally and casually, but it just encompasses a bit more either way.