#i mean he’s fucked up too but neil is fucking unhinged

[feverdreamsandlucidnightmares]

I love that neil is pure of heart, dumb of ass, and also deeply fucked up

He’s just a little guy! All his friends love him and want him to take care of himself! He’ll totally kill that guy for you though. He protects his friends by mouthing off to horrifically dangerous people. He can’t tell that he’s being flirted with. He always respects his boyfriend’s boundaries and is hyper-vigilant about consent. He also got too distracted listening to his worstie scream in pain after his bf broke the guy’s arm to pay attention to his team checking on him despite the fact that the aforementioned bitch nearly killed him on national TV. He got his bf to agree to stop protecting him so that andrew wouldn’t feel responsible when he was inevitably killed. He comforted himself while being held by the FBI by replaying his father’s execution in his mind over and over. His only regret was that his mom didn’t live long to see his dad dead. But! He’s also so sorry that he upset his boyfriend by getting kidnapped. He put a hit out on a rapist over lunch. He insults the FBI. He challenged the yakuza and won and watched his enemy get executed and then was so giddy over it that his team wanted to know what was up and he lied to them. He’s a fucked up little guy. A Creature even. Morbid as hell. Deeply unserious. Protective as fuck with a mean, vindictive streak a mile wide. Would do anything up to and including killing someone for his found family. What a guy. Damn.

[actual-changeling]

Welcome back to Alex's unhinged meta corner, and today I have something surprisingly not kiss-related—though it is still about the final fifteen because hey, gotta keep the brand image.

I read this post by @goodoldfashionednightingale and began typing a small response. Then I made the mistake of drinking half a litre of coffee on an empty stomach right after taking my adhd meds and my brain began vibrating at the speed of light.

But oh, have I discovered parallels. This, my friends, is about the nightingale, where it comes from, what it means, and what the fuck happened in part 3 of 1941.

Ready? Let's go.

Now, as OP said in her post, s1e3 is important. In the script book, Neil himself says that these flashbacks are where the producers would tell him to cut scenes to save money. They suggested every single one—except for the one he ended up taking out, which was the bookshop opening scene set in 1800. The others are building blocks, you need them to see how their relationship progressed and what kind of important milestones they had.

(side note: author is very miffed that english does not have a separate subjunctive form like german which makes quoting lines way more confusing than it has to be)

The one I want to mention is neither 1941 nor 1967. No, what I want to talk about is 1601. This might be about to get a bit rambly but I will do my best to keep it tidy.

The focus of that flashback is on the Arrangement, yes, but it gives us a lot more information than that.

they both see Shakespeare's plays regularly, maybe even meet in the crowd

Crowley prefers the comedies

Aziraphale does not seem to have a preference, he enjoys the tragedies and presumably the comedies too

there is an oyster woman selling food -> reference to their meeting in Rome when Aziraphale tempted him to try some oysters

Aziraphale reflexively denies their relationship

Crowley might say he is not worried but circles Aziraphale the entire time, keeping watch

they both ask favours of each other and both agree to do them

What stands out to me in relation to what I am about to expand on is the line that Crowley delivers after Aziraphale's little 'buck up'—which Crowley finds adorable btw but that's a post for another time.

"Age does not wither nor custom stale his infinite variety."

Why would he say that? What exactly is prompting this? WHY say that specific line?

At first I thought it might be to tempt Shakespeare because he does commit art theft by just copying that line down, BUT I think there is more to that. So much more, in fact. I am wiggling now because I am very excited about this and my adhd meds are kicking in anyway.

First things first: the line itself.

It appears in Shakespeare's play Antony and Cleopatra, a romantic tragedy, which was first performed in 1607 aka six years after this meeting. Enobarbus is talking about Cleopatra and describing why Antony won't leave her. Her.

Ccrowley uses his—again, who is he even talking about? Hamlet? Shakespeare? Random poetic quote?

No, I think this line is about Aziraphale and it's a code. Right after, the next line from Aziraphale is "What do you want?", meaning that this is their code phrase for 'I have a favour to ask of you'.

Age does not wither nor custom stale his infinite variety

Age will not affect his appearance nor will he ever become boring to Antony. Crowley, who later chooses the name Anthony for himself, tells Aziraphale, an immortal, that he will never age and that he will never grow bored of him.

It's flattery, pure and simple, and it's code at the same time. This establishes the important fact that they might use more of Shakespeare's work as code/already have a system in place (even though he steals Crowley's line for later).

They play their little morality game of back and forth, Aziraphale agrees, Crowley probably manipulates the coin toss, and THEN we find out that the oyster woman is called Juliet.

Why? What is the meaning of that? Why give her a name and that name in particular? Why bring the sexy oysters back into it?

Romeo and Juliet premiered in 1597, so it is safe to assume they have both seen it by 1601, but this is mostly for the audience, not for us-or is it?

Aziraphale gives Crowley puppy eyes until he agrees to make Hamlet popular, and while I don't think Juliet itself is a code word, although it's very interesting that the OYSTER woman is the one with that name (especially adding what we now know about Job), Romeo and Juliet might be.

Yes, the Nightingale song came out in 1940 but the bird has been around for much, much longer, and, as many probably know by now, also shows up in Romeo and Juliet.

This is where I am starting to vibrate at the speed of light because listen to me. Listen.

Crowley is Juliet. Anthony J. Crowley. Antony Juliet Crowley.

(side note: I'm not saying that Crowley chose it based on that—though I am not not saying that—but that it is a clue for us at the audience.)

Why do I think that? In the play, Romeo spends the night with Juliet and then goes to leave as the night begins to end. Juliet tries to stop him and tells him that the birds they are hearing aren't larks, which sing at dawn, but nightingales, which sing at night.

Who is the one always pushing for more? Crowley. He is the one trying to convince Aziraphale it's safe, they're safe to spend time together.

Romeo disagrees with Juliet and says 'I must be gone and live, or stay and die'.

Leave and stay alive, or stay and hell/heaven will punish us. It gets even better though.

We all know how Romeo and Juliet ends: Romeo thinks Juliet is dead, kills himself, Juliet finds him and then kills herself too.

Hey, do you know how Antony and Cleopatra ends?

Antony thinks Cleopatra is dead, kills himself and dies in her arms, then Cleopatra also kills herself—by snake poison; Romeo also died by poison.

The parallels are THERE. They are jumping down our throats! Two tragedies, two sides, several familiar names and phrases, same fear, same ending.

I think by now you can guess how this ties back to 1941.

We do not see how that night ends, but we know it ends. One of them wants to stretch it out, maybe even quotes Romeo and Juliet because look at the setting!

Candlelight, wonderful night they spend together, the threat of Crowley's early demise, and, to quote the play once more, this time Romeo: I have more care to stay than will to go.

Crowley thought it was his last night on earth and went with Aziraphale to his bookshop, to be with him, because he cares more about that than the fact that he will be dragged to hell come morning. Do you remember?

"Expect a legion to come for you first thing tomorrow" THAT is the threat. They have until dawn, just like Romeo and Juliet, which is why she is so desperate for the birds to be nightingales. Fortunately for them, Aziraphale saves the day, BUT there is NO SECURITY. They do not KNOW if a legion will still show up or not. If dawn is a deadline and they will need to fight.

Sure, they improved their chances, but who knows? Maybe they will come for him anyway, it's not like hell is all fair and square.

The best part: it gets even better.

Juliet eventually panics and tells him to go, and Romeo drops a line that huh, sounds oddly familiar, doesn't it?

'More light and light, more dark and dark our woes!'

Remind me, what does Aziraphale say again? Ah, yes. Perhaps there is something to be said for shades of grey.

There is more. Yes, even more. We know the whole rescue relies on a magic trick, a switch. Guess what Juliet yearns for while telling Romeo to go save himself?

Oh, now I would they had changed voices too. While they did not for Romeo and Juliet—they kiss and part—they did for our two. One fabulous switch and we're good.

(side note: Toads? Associated with hell. Larks? Associated with the dawn, yes, but also heaven since Romeo says 'Nor that is not the lark, whose notes do beat the vaulty heaven so high above our heads.')

So, this was a whole lot of information, let's see if I can summarize my thoughts.

I believe the nightingale is a code word that has existed even before 1941 and gained a lot of importance over the years. In 1941, the song is added to the meaning and whatever happened between the two that we have not seen yet, it fundamentally changed their relationship. Maybe they kissed, maybe one of them tried to convince the other to prolong the night but they parted on not-great terms.

The nightingale and the song become a symbol of hope, a goal to achieve, another uninterrupted night, maybe, or an uninterrupted life.

When they part in the final fifteen, it's morning. Crowley points at the sky and says "no nightingales", which at that point has several different layers to it.

No nightingales because their night is over, just like with Romeo and Juliet, and please, please allow me to add another detail, because I am frothing at the mouth over this. The scene I quoted, known as balcony scene, do you know what it is preceded by?

A ball.

Star-crossed lovers defying their sides, falling in love at a ball, getting a hurried, wonderful night together but torn apart by danger of punishment, the nightingale as a dream, as a wish for unhurried time together. Family rejection, torn apart by parents, willing to die for each other so they can reunite in death.

No nightingales. The ball, the romance, is over, their dancing is over, heaven is tearing them apart, and Aziraphale returns to heaven while they are both stuck in a pit of misunderstanding and miscommunication, all bound together by fear for each other.

The thing is, Crowley hates tragedies, he never liked the "gloomy ones", and he does not want them to end in one—luckily, this isn't the end. Yes, they kiss and part, but the play keeps going. We have an entire act 3 to fix what Romeo and Juliet couldn't, to ensure that this is a COMEDY, not a tragedy.

Both Antony & Cleopatra and Romeo & Juliet died out of fear, hurried into making bad decisions because they knew what would happen if their sides were to catch up with them.

Crowley and Aziraphale can reunite heaven and hell with love, not death. This is THEIR story and they are writing the ending. No more day and night, no more deadlines, no more hiding and sneaking about, no more fear of larks and sunshine.

Good Omens will end the way it began: In a garden with two no-longer-star-crossed lovers embracing the song of a lark as well as that of the nightingale.

I hope this made sense to everyone who was no present while my mind started to vibrate itself into a puddle because the thing is I can see Neil doing all of this completely on purpose.

Thoughts? Questions? Additions? Come and join me in my insanity and until next time I have a mental breakdown over this show (probably in like two hours).

[theultimatekamehamehavoc]

Naegami Fluff and/or Shenanigans 8

Sometimes, the two just have those classic movie nights. Not anything super fancy or romantic. Just the two of them chilling while watching a flick. It started off as Makoto's one-off idea before it blossomed. The two aren't even that big into movies but it's something they do together. However, one day, after finding a shit movie neither of them have heard of, the movie night spiraled into something bigger. Basically, the gist of their new and improved movie nights is:

This definitely became something the two never would have guessed to become so chaotic. Cus, every few moments in movies, Byakuya just HAS to pause it and go on a rant on everything wrong with the scene or dialogue while Makoto desperately tries not to laugh too hard. He fails though. Every. Single. Time. I mean, how can he NOT laugh when his boyfriend is absolutely ROASTING and MURDERING the poor movie with expert precision! Like, Byakuya's just stabbing the ever loving shit outta every plot hole imaginable and there is nothing that Makoto can do about it. Not that he'd WANT to... Makoto genuinely loves hearing his boyfriend rant about stuff in general, so this is no exception. Hell. The fact that Byakuya isn't even that big of a movie fan makes it better. Also, the ways that Byakuya explains the movie plots to him also doesn't help due to Byakuya's general sass the whole time. Gets Makoto every damn time.

The initially just watched bad live-action movies like The Room, Sharknado, all Neil Breen movies like Fateful Findings and Twisted Pair. However, after digging around for more bad shit for them to find, they decided to bite the bad and strange animated movies which Byakuya has his own new type of rants for. AKA "Stupid Children's Movie Humor that Moronic American Executives Force to Add into the Movies is Dumb and Stupid" rant. Also, there's also the obvious rant about the animation or animation errors. And that is where they made their best/worst decision ever. Yeah. Makoto nearly died when they watched The Bee Movie because of the unhinged rants Byakuya went on. Tldr; Byakuya absolutely DESPISES Jerry Seinfeld and made that VERY clear. Meanwhile, Makoto barely knows who the fuck Seinfeld is, though that doesn't matter because the boy is literally curled up on his side, on the couch, clutching it for dear life while freaking snort-laughing to death as Byakuya just won't let up. Makoto also leans on Byakuya a bit for SOME semblance of support but it barely helps and the heir's movements just make him laugh and giggle even harder. The whole time, Byakuya's just smirking at him while being amused at Makoto's response. And, gosh. The day after was almost as bad when Byakuya pulled at the cork board to explain even MORE about his hatred of Seinfeld. Makoto shed many tears those days from how hard he was just dying from the whole thing. Also didn't help when Makoto tried to engage himself with the discourse by asking questions. The key word is TRIED. He could only get a few legible words out at that point which Byakuya absolutely teased him for. Like: "Ah, Makoto. This is no laughing matter! I am talking about the heinous deeds of an unfunny comedian! This man is DESPICABLE!" he says, also struggling a bit not to laugh himself. Cus, Makoto has the gift of having a bit of a contagious laugh. Specifically in the sense that hearing it is cute and, if one ever laughed along with him, zero shits would be given about one sounded cus they're too busy trying and failing to keep it together. Also, it's just easy to kinda have fun laughing with the little guy like that. 'Tis hard attempting to not be charmed by he eggy ways though some are obviously immune. Byakuya is not. AHEM

Yeah. Byakuya was SOOO having a fucking blast tearing apart both the movie and Seinfeld both cus he likes ranting but also because, at this point, he knows he just genuinely likes seeing Makoto happy. Makoto's the same way which is why, even during the times he was absolutely crying at that point from how hard he was laughing his ass off, he only sometimes told Byakuya to quit it, which was mostly in a playful and kinda whinny way cus Makoto was still losing it BAAAAD. That is not an understatement. Can also see Byakuya being a bit of a dick here by ruffling Makoto's hair or something which just makes the guy both flustered and even more giggly than before. Having said all of this though, I have a feeling Makoto finds a way the break the bastard back though. I mean, Makoto's been doing a lot of laughing! Might as well get some payback! Also payback for Byakuya freaking poking him, rubbing it in that Makoto sounds like a total loser. Nothing too lethal though. Not that Makoto could BE lethal. Just the boy trying and failing to maybe crack a joke or something but he's bad at it, regardless if he's laughing hysterically or not. The attempt is short lived though as Makoto kinda just tries to get everything back on track regarding the actual PLOT of The Bee Movie. Cus, Byakuya's actual a bit out of breath from all that Seinfeld ranting. It backfires though. They both end up in a weird conversation on how the fuck Vanessa is plowing that bee. AKA, the strangest talk they've had about anything ever up until this point... Like, it starts off as a genuine question before it just devolves into Makoto trying to end it all while covering his face, laughing hysterically while Byakuya's no better. He just keeps trying and failing to actually psycho-analyze the logistics here. Meanwhile, Makoto is lowkey squealing for him to finally quit the bit while Byakuya just keeps going. He may be out of breath from the Seinfeld rant but he is just on a roll today and nothing is stopping him. And, when everything FINALLY starts to calm down a bit, the two reflect a bit on what the fuck just happened. Oddly enough though, they're content about it. Like, the two had fun. Makoto nearly died. All is good in the world. And maybe they just cuddle after. Idk! T-T

[mydysfunctionalvampirefamily]

Goddamn why does dark Selina have to be so cool??

Suarez can freeze dark Selina???? That is badass.

My God Ira is rolling so well. 27 dice of damage? That is insane.

Did he just strip Reiss of his perfect clarity easy peasy? Yes! Anything to make Reiss look like the loser he is.

Goddamn Arabella is also very cool. Team astral is going strong.

Ira not wanting Arabella to associate with him. 😂 I'm glad they can still laugh and be a little silly in all this.

Noo they counterthaum his thingy??? Oh they failed.

Reiss failed!!! Yay! I really hope he dies the most pitiful death. Like that people almost don't even care.

Noooooo they possess Eden??? Not our baby! How dare they. 🥺

Apocalyptic form??????????? Oilblsck owl wings, 2 extra arms?? Demon horns??? Extra eyes???? I am cackling. This is def unhinged final battle shit. 😂😂 Also understandable why he didn't use this before, this is not subtle.

Omg the reactions. I don't know I'm ready. 😭

"Oh god." 😭 Wynn bb.

"Miles isn't selfish." 😂 he said that with a straight face too.

Wait who shot Suarez? One of the blsck hand guys?

So basically this roll will mean we might have a season 3 Johnny boss fight??? Plz No. Thank fuck!

-10 on the dice pool??? Wtf Dark Selina?? For someone who loves to fight you don't want to be hit. Kind of mid if you ask me.

13 successes???? That's my boy!!!!! Hell yeah Johnny!!!! Okay she rolls 7 successes but still!

She soaks 11 and she halves all damage?? Goddamn! That is fucked up. Like I know she is powerful but fuck!

46 dice blood pool???

Garrett rolling so bad for her blood pool 😂😂😂 that is so funny.

Wait what??? Why is she all of a sudden getting 6 agg? Me so confused. But I mean I'm not mad about it.

Uhoh this sounds like a Lasombra black hand person.

Okay I know I'm late in asking this in the last episode, hlbut how is lethal damage less bad than agrivsted damage? That makes no sense.

Johnny just got 9 blood? Woah! So tenah is sacrificing herself rn, right?

Oh god Suarez dead and headless?? Brutal.

I feel like Johnny saving the life of the werewolf is so pivotal, maybe not in actual combat but in showing who Johnny is as a person.

Oh, I guess I should have said trying to save the life of that lupine.

Everything goes black??? He dies???? Hahaha haha I'm not laughing hysterically and panicked, you are!

Noooooo!!!! Not just like that?!!?? Wtf 😭😭😭 I somehow assumed Johnny would live. He's such a beast. Now who's gonna kill dark Selina?!?

Also remember 3 lines ago when I said the choice might not be pivotal to this fight. Well I was definitely wrong.

I am screaming!!!! What if Miles made a final deal to get Johnny back oml 😍😍😍

Rebecca trying to be a good girl and reminding Lex of Selina powers and being rewarded with the knowledge that it's a presence power. 🥰

She soaks 11??? Damn. Britta is trying her hardest. 😭

Wow dark Selina, jealous of Britta in all this? That's wild. Also spreading Britta's bosyparts across the state like some fucked up treasure hunt is highly messed up!

Dark Selina is so petty. 😂😂😂 "Your father is dead, shut up."

Come on Miles, baby! What's one more deal for your boo? AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH (I scared my dog I screeched that hard)

He can fucking teleport???? I'm sorry, demon Miles is fucking dope. Even the demon portals are kind of a charm.

Holding someone up in the air by the neck.

The fucking shocked Gasp from Rob when Lex said Neil 😭😭😭 I'm immediately crying.

(the line: "the only thing that makes sense to you is that wherever you are, Neil is there." is gonna be such a lifeline for shippers to cling to.)

Johnny, baby. 😭 The hug. The conversation. I don't know why, but I wasn't ready for this.

Remember when we were laughing at Wynn sending tremere to their room and not sobbing? Good times.

Omg I kind of forgot about the Johnny resurrection. Damn poor Neil all alone again.

Johnny can control his frenzy???? Woah!!! Kill this bitch!!!

"Save them, I've made the deals I needed to." Stop! 😭

The glee in Tim's voice killing these people.

Noooooo the oubliette!

Wait now she has jess and Eden???

😂😂😂 They're in the last battle of the world and they're arguing about if they need to scrap movie night from the curriculum.

Ira is such a badass.

Noooooo Reiss!!!!, now she's gonna eat the girls.

No nono nono Reiss cannot leave! He needs to die!!!

Yaaaaay fire damage!!

YESSSSSSSAAA HE FUCKING KILLED HER!!! SHE'S FUCKING ASSSSHHHHJ BABY!

Okay now that I've cheered and all that I'm basically only halfway through this episode. Uhoh!

Omg Weathers????

Johnny and the fire flower.

"He ran away." Wynn plz 😭

"Miles thinks you should do that can you change your line, Miles?" 😂

Wait why are we taking Delgado?

Thank you, Miles! I mean I get the complicated relationship Johnny but wild to just bring him.

Wynn is not taking Neil's death well, not that I think she would. But she's angry.

AAAAAAAHHHHH is he gonna drink her??? Yes pllleaase!!! Noooooo whyyy you gotta be sensible??? 😭

Johnny going from angry to soft at Miles. "Friends till the end." 😭😭😭

If they know the weapon that kills Selina, why do they need pendragon just go to Hartford and get it?

The Britta/Johnny hug 🥺🥺🥺 (I know someone who is gonna Love this)

This is a testament to how insane shit has been that I had already forgotten that Wynn had to choose between Neil and Britta back then.

Not the almost childlike hope of Johnny that they can just find Neil's ghost and solve this.

"and tries to tell herself to get up, because he's not coming to help her." excuse you! I'm walking my dog and crying rn. I thought we might have a quick break where I could be in public and listen to this goddamn podcast!

Miles trying his best to sound so casual up on the rooftop. But still hoping there is a way. Saying he doesn't think he can stay instead of full out saying he can't. Damn.

Even in this moment you cannot unravel your emotional constipation???? God fucking damnit Miles!!!

You're making me fucking cry about cigarettes??

Britta: I don't know if I like being called a death assassin

Wynn: I don't know what other kind there is.

Touche Wynn. 😂

Why does it sound like they are kind of leaving Britta behind? That would be fucked up.

Johnny and his girls though, how perfect would that be? Okay good Britta is gonna get to do her own thing by her own choice instead of just being left behind. 😂

Yaaaaay Britta finally saying she is good at something! Only took us 100 episodes to get her to recognise her potential.

Miles' final piece of accounting advice: it's your car, you can paint it any colour you want.

Uhoh. UHOH. Noooooo. We knew this was coming, but it's still so freaking sad. Fucking Lucinde, why is she just the worst? Even when she's gone she is still ruining this. Why not let them have one last night together? One last group hug. Wynn fearfully begging Miles to go and make sure she never finds him.

Miles still taking care of all of them though, making sure they have papers and money.

If I'm gonna be honest I kind of assumed/hoped we would just kill Lucinde before this was an issue.

Jessica is so awesome. (this is a compliment! Before we have a whole John is so cool thing all over again. 😂)

I cannot believe John Fucking Reiss is still alive!!!! I stfg! That was my only hope. That he'd die. 😂

What the fuck??? Roman Pendragon did a TV interview covered in blood??? 😂😂😂😂 Sorry that makes me crack up. That is insane.

"I'll miss you most of all, scarecrow." 😂

"... Into the dark." idk why but those last three words gave me goosebumps. I can't believe it's done.

Also on the one hand I'm glad Miles is alive, but idk maybe it's because I so assumed he'd would for sure die. And I hoped he'd die sacrificing himself. But if I really let go of my obsession with bringing Miles pain and being the idea of him and Arabella like that is kind of funny. Also the fact that Zofiel always gets his way is amusing. I also know that alive is aparently a stretch after that ritual.

The not my name?!? Omg

[altruistic-meme]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

hi dear!!! i definitely don't mind AT ALL i love getting questions!!!! i probably have answered this question before, but this is one of those things that's subject to change pretty often as i find new characters and they take over from older ones :] so i will probably never give the exact same answer twice dksvjsdfh

ok ok that said, let me see... in no particular order:

Damianos of Akielos (Book: Captive Prince trilogy) quite literally THE man of all time. THE man of my dreams. he is such a beautifully written character who is so complex and interesting to read!! he is so gentle and caring despite his size, and he has a confidence i can only aspire to.

Neil Josten (Book: All For The Game trilogy) unhinged maniac 🧡 no but genuinely he is such a good main character. everything about him and his narration pulls you in to the story. he is the most unreliable narrator. his perspective is so skewed. also my namesake!!

Nakahara Chuuya (Anime/Series: Bungo Stray Dogs) i may or may not have somewhat of an obsession with him right now. he is literally so pretty that i throw my phone. but also he is so unbearably human in an incredibly tragic way, and he is that way because he actively chooses to be. he is a high ranking member of the mafia and he loves dogs and he promised his dying friend that he would save someone else and he is so loyal and bright. i am going to stop while im ahead bc 90% of my thoughts right now are about Chuuya so i could genuinely go on forever.

Victor Nikiforov (Anime: Yuri!!! ON Ice) he is so sad

Hinata Shoyo (Anime: Haikyuu!!) he is just so fucking BRIGHT!!! unlike Victor, Hinata is the exact opposite of me in almost every sense. it is so hard for me to watch anyone else when he's on the screen. he is just joy and energy incarnate and i want to be his friend so bad.

Spiderman (TV Show/Movie/Comic) this is a cheat because it's just. every iteration of spiderman. i love him. just your friendly neighborhood spiderman!! i have such a soft spot for Miles Morales' spiderman in particular due to the spiderverse movies, but i also really loved all of the live action spiderman movies. and we can't forget the tv show!!!

Prince Wilhelm (Show: Young Royals) fucking babygirl. yet another sad wet cat of a character who i project onto immensely. he is just so complex and interesting and so real and flawed and just. listen. having the weight of the world rest on your shoulders as you struggle with trying to make friends and fight your anxiety and handle your mother all by yourself is something i have dealt with too. i can't put into words all my thoughts about him right now, but rest assured there are More.

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III (Book: How to Train Your Dragon series) don't get me wrong, i love the movie version of him as well, but they are such different characters. and the book version of Hiccup has an incredibly special place in my heart. httyd is such a comfort read for me, and it was huge for me getting to grow up with Hiccup. he is just a fucking little guy and he goes through so much. but he keeps going. he didn't deserve any of it and he fights so hard to make sure no one else has to go through it like he did. gods i love him.

Charlie Spring (Comic: Heartstopper) same as with Hiccup, i love him in the show as well but to me the characters are so different and i just relate so much more to the comic version of him! he is a mess and i love him and relate to him. i wish i had what he has. i am also so proud of how far he has come!! and he reminds me to be proud of myself, too. also see; sassy motherfucker.

Kenai (Movie: Brother Bear) a strange choice, maybe, but this movie means SO much to me. it is a huge comfort movie. and Kenai, by virtue of being the main character, clearly gets the leg up as the favorite. but it's so amazing seeing him grow as a person (or. well. bear). he's funny, he tries so hard, he wants so much. and he's just a kid!! he learns so much!!

there are definitely some patterns in my favorite characters that i am going to choose not to look too closely at :') i have so many characters i adore. this was so hard ;;;

[lorethebookworm]

I just saw 10 things I hate about and immediately thought yeah , this is okay but what if we remove the messed up shit and make it andreil so it becomes prefect? Here's my idea

You know the drill, Katelyn wants to date Aaron but he can't date unless Andrew does because as always, those two are a little fucked up. Enter the only guy who isn't scared of Andrew : Neil. Now , in this universe I want Neil to be his unfiltered self, meaning that he accepts the money Kate gives him because that's what you do when people offer you free money, but he has no intention to go along with the plan. That's because 1 he is as demi as they come 2 he is an asshole but even he can see that making someone believe you fell for them and building a relationship with them just because you've been bribed is just cruel. So Neil won't date Andrew, instead he approaches him ,tells him the whole entire crazy truth about the situation, and proposes that the two share the money and start hanging out to get more money out of Katelyn. And Andrew, against his better judgement, is so fascinated by this unhinged pretty boy that he can't help but agree.

At this point everything is going great, Kate and Aaron are happy, Andrew and Neil are spending more and more time together, trading truths and falling in love. As always they both believe that the other would never reciprocate so they are pining for a while. And , before you ask yes, the scene where he sings for her in front of everybody and the cute date afterwards 100% happen for andreil too, because I say so.

Okay so everything is going great and Kate and Aaron want to go to prom so she pays Neil 300 dollars to make Andrew go as well ( I'm making Kate rich as fuck because otherwise I'd feel so bad for her, she's literally throwing money away). Neil obviously accepts and pretty much offers all the money to Andrew in the form of candy and ice cream and other stuff Andrew requests (Andrew is so smitten that he would go just because Neil asked, but the man has a reputation to uphold ).

What happens at prom and after in the movie doesn't really make sense for this au so I'm deciding that Andrew and Neil are completely bewitched by each other the entire night until they finally kiss and have their happily ever after.

[calypso-finale]

Forty Nine.

 

I never thought life would get so difficult once the kids got older, I thought life was difficult anyways because these kids do be doing the most when they was kids but since they have grown I have more of a headache. I don’t know why people say life gets easier or maybe it’s because these kids like to rely on us, I am not sure but I really wouldn’t change it for the world, these are my kids. I love them a lot I just didn’t think I would be a grandparent so soon but he is here and I don’t exactly see a life without him, I treat him like my own but he keeps calling me kiss, like I ain’t told him several times it is grandpa but I will let him slide, I will accept what he is saying he means no harm with it. I am ready to go home really but we have this last day here in Barbados and it’s a family meal, I always do love a family meal with Robyn’ family because really, every time we do have this there is an argument with someone. I really think that this time it will be Majesty and my daughters, with Rylee pissed off she isn’t going to put up with her shit so yeah. Rylee has been quiet, she doesn’t talk to any of us, she says that she has nothing nice to say but I think she will get over it, it’s my daughter she will. I don’t know at times, maybe I am judging her too much, I think she cares for him but love, I am not sure she does, maybe she is clingy because it’s her first, I don’t know but he has been quiet too. It’s only Wadz that says yeah he is good, but I ain’t going to say that Oakley’ mom blames Rylee, but if I catch Neil and that white bitch I will drag her ass, my daughter didn’t kill his friend so she needs to hop off that high horse, and she was the same one that fucking kicked Oakley out so why on earth is my daughter the bad one. I will ride for my kids so she needs to mind her business, even if my child is annoying as she is that is my child so she can watch it, I won’t put up with her shit.

Robyn squinted her eyes at me, she knows I have been quiet. I am always quiet now since coming here for meals because really, this family is just as unhinged as mine, just that these can actually sit in a room together, but I am just minding myself and drinking here and there, keeping quiet “what you thinking?” I knew Robyn would come to me “nothing, just waiting for the day to be over” I grinned “of course you are, I just want you to be ok so that is why I am here. I mean people are talking to you” nodding my head “but I don’t want to say too much, you never know Robyn” she didn’t say anything because I am right “well my mom was saying that Joyce and her are doing a holiday away, how cute. They have become besties” I laughed “shared the same dick, now they can share a holiday” Robyn gasped “that is so nasty, why would you even say that” I snorted laughing “my bad but it’s true, but you spend time with the crackheads, I will be here and maybe see what drama is happening with the kids, they are the new entertainment” Robyn rolled her eyes “you are nasty though, I still can’t believe people were fighting over your dad” Robyn mumbled “I mean, it’s like fighting over me, I am worth it right” I smiled “mhmmm nah, not really” Robyn is a lie “you will rip anyone’s eyes out for me, don’t give me that shit” leaning down and pressing a kiss to her lips “love you” smiling at her “love you too, counting down the minutes here” I said walking off, Robyn rolled her eyes knowing damn well I am right because there is always some drama.

Taking a selfie with Aziel, I love how he does cheese “awww wow, we look like some handsome ass niggas boy” typing out the caption ‘My little ninja, love you boy’ pressing send onto my story “kiss” every time he says that I think he wants a kiss “yes baby” locking my phone and placing it on the side “talk to me son” wrapping my arms around him, he is mumbling some shit “mhmm, yeah I understand” watching my daughters on one side and the Melody and Majesty and the other kids on the other “pointing at mommy?” I said “mommy yeah” he said “oh ok” he needs to start pulling some words together more “daddy” he said, moving my head back “daddy? Where is daddy?” he just paused and then looked at me “out” I gasped “out? Oh wow, daddy coming back?” I asked “daddy back” nodding my head “he will be but you going to be a good boy for mommy right” he nodded his head “you not want to play with your cousins?” he shook his head “you stay with me?” he nodded his head “awww Aziel, man I feel so honoured. Thank you” he smiled “water” he pointed “oh you got that British accent, oh you been hanging with Neil too much boy. Those damn British people” I chuckled “water” I copied him, grabbing the bottle “you want some water governor” I said in my best British accent, he took the bottle from me and did it himself “oh wow, you strong. That bottle is full you know” he did himself and he didn’t drop a single thing “aahh!” he said “aaah, that was nice” he lifted the bottle to me “what do you say to grandpa Aziel?” Rylee said to him, he looked at me and he bough this hand to his chin “thank you” and then bought his hand forward “sign language? Oh wow, that is so good” placing the cap on “yeah, I am trying to put my all into him” Rylee sat down, smiling at her.

Aziel hugged me close “I’m still in shock you know that I’m a grandparent, it’s just something I didn’t know that would happen to me so soon but I adore him a lot, just shocks me a lot” rubbing his back “I’m shocked that I’m a mother, it’s fine. When he shouts mom at times I’m like ignoring him but really he’s shouting me” she chuckled “he was meant to be here, he’s so loving too, and sucks his thumb!?” I spat, Aziel chuckled “you a big baby ain’t you” wrapping my arms around him, how cute that he is sucking his thumb “yeah Ti picked up on that and she said he is doing that because of trauma, she says he is comforting himself because of it, I was like ain’t you a rude bitch” I mean Ti isn’t wrong “but he is going to be going to private schooling, I decided that but I remember when I said it to Oakley, he said no and that he needs to get used to real life, but I want him to have that private schooling” nodding my head “that is something you discuss with the father too” I just said, I am not getting involved in that “but for his safety, with the way London is. He’s best off going private but that is all I am saying” Aziel hasn’t’ stopped hugging me  “you know I’m sorry about shouting at you” Rylee put her head down “also you’re in the mode of fucking up too” Rylee cleared her throat “how so?” She asked like I can’t see, like I am blind “your IG post, thirst traps?” Rylee laughed out “please don’t dad” she is laughing but it’s not funny “Rylee, you know you’re wrong in this. You know me and your mom right, we was in the start of our journey, and I came from jail, I was in a real bad situation, but I wanted out, then the incident happened, and I got shot, just like Oakley. Robyn and I are new to it, I didn’t expect her. I mean come on Rihanna? She is famous, she is on tour, we just old school friends. She came to the hospital alone, she was working, she was touring she was busy Rylee. But she weird enough took care of me, made sure I was fed, set me up in a house Rylee, I was in a home and she made sure I could move around and it was all in reach of me because she knew she couldn’t be there, she checked on me. She cared for me; she emotionally showed me her care. We didn’t even have you, there was no baby, no nothing, no strings attached. We was just old friends that reconnected, and she did that for me, she really did so much more then she should have. Held me up, dressed me. And what gets me Rylee is that you couldn’t even let Aziel see his dad, take him there because he can’t. He is at his lowest and you ain’t there for him so if you think you will get him back, any chance, baby no” Rylee shot up and went off crying, I couldn’t help myself, but she is so wrong in this.

Robyn is walking off, I mean I am not shocked “he has fallen asleep?” Robyn pointed, letting out an oh “didn’t notice, we was enjoying the moment” I smiled “I can see, why is she crying? I was just asking her, she departed from here” I laughed “erm, I just was real with her. She couldn’t take it” Robyn sighed out “right, what did you say big mouth?” licking my lips “I told her that how you took care of me when I got shot, we just got back together really, we was just old friends reconnecting but the way you showed you care, you was there for me when I had nothing but a big healthcare bill, I remember it and you at that moment showed me you loved me and I knew you would be a ride or die, I told her this and I said we didn’t have no strings attached, no child and you have one. You couldn’t do the bare minimum so if you have a notion in your mind that you will get him back you won’t, you fucked that up and she ran off crying” Robyn cringed “oh that was harsh” I shrugged “I am sorry but she is so cheeky to think that he would want her when she isn’t there for him, you know when you’re wounded, when you can’t do things and you’re at home and you see this guy holding your son, on the walk way, fine, all for show but then to see pictures of your love with another on dates when you’re at your lowest and you lost your best friend that you grew up with? I get why he is on the verge of suicide, I get it” Robyn shushed me “stop, please” I have just started “she is wrong, and I want her to leave him alone so I am hoping if I break her to stop she will” holding Aziel close to me as I got up “well can you please not say anything too mean and deal with it now” nodding my head “fine, but truth hurts, she doesn’t love him. You don’t do that to a person you love. He was her first, she cares she feels a bond” Robyn held my arm “please” she pleaded with me, I just smiled. I know she wants me to stop, and I will.

Placing Aziel down on the couch, Rylee is in this room crying still. It’s been a while too and she is crying still “I can’t apologise for something that is true” I said, I can’t say sorry to that “then leave me alone” she mumbled “what upset you the most?” I questioned “that you don’t leave me alone” crossing my arms across my chest “you assumed and jumped and even if that was happening you didn’t check on him, honestly if Robyn did that to me and she didn’t bring you to me. I wouldn’t be with her, right now no. I wouldn’t have a woman that can’t be there for me emotionally and the saddest part Rylee, I show you nothing but love and care so this attitude you show to others stinks and a persona”  she sniffled “I made a mistake ok dad! I made a fucking mistake, I wish I could take it back. I feel so fucking bad about it, I messed up ok! I know what I want, I know Oakley, I know him more then his own dumb bitch mother does, he’s told me things then not even his own homies know. I get I hurt him, I get it dad. I see it, but I am stuck, I can’t take it back” tilting my head to the side “but then you what, manipulated your way to have sex. Your mom told me the text and women are good at doing that” Rylee is having a breakdown let me stop “leave me alone!” she sobbed out,I don’t want to see her cry like this “I am sorry Rylee, I just didn’t raise you this way either” I would hug her but she will probably push me away for it so I will speak later with her.

My eyes darted towards the noise I can hear and the shouting “what the hell” Rorrey said, we just stared at each other and then I heard that voice that is my daughter, well one of them. I got up from the couch and rushed out, seeing Nikita run by me so I followed behind her, my eyes widened and then hearing Aziel crying “oh shit” I said in disbelief seeing the girls just fighting and screaming “woah! Woah! What the hell!” I don’t know who to stop, Aziel is crying his eyes out as he walked over to me with his arms open “oh my god girls” picking up Aziel “Imani, Ti. Girls, what the hell. Stop!” pushing Ti “move! Get off her” why they jumping Melody like this “Imani! Stop” staring at them “she should have sat there and ate her fucking food, when you speak shit that’s what you get” placing Aziel down, they can’t get Rylee and majesty to stop, running towards them “oh shit” I didn’t know Rylee could fight like this, I moved back because she is throwing hands. Finding my moment and caught her hands and yanked her back “stop that shit” throwing her down on the ground “enough, and you” I knew Majesty was coming” I just pushed her “don’t push my daughter” Nicholas said, “then handle your fucking seed cuz!” I spat, Nicholas is a bitch ass so I know he ain’t going to do shit he just walked off “get up, come on!” yanking Rylee up “the bitch should be on Teen fucking Mom, she is fucking drama. You dumb whore!” Majesty shouted “you just sat here Monica? Huh” I swear she was outside “fix yourself” I said to Rylee “leave her Chris” Robyn said “we are going, you kids. Out, we are going” Rylee limped a little “good!” I spat.

I let the girls clean themselves up before I even spoke to them, it’s just shocking that they are fighting like that and them two jump hitting Melody and for what “Momo just sat there by the way” Rylee said “of course she did but I want to know what happened! And I asking you!” I pointed at Rylee “the eldest clown, so why? What happened” Rylee has a bruised face now with a cut “I was sat outside with my sisters and Aziel on my lap, them two just there. Everything was fine, nothing was said. Momo was the one that fuelled shit, she was rude to me. I don’t give a fuck if you old, she said that I knew you would be the issue, you was always the issue. I didn’t react, I laughed it off then Majesty made the joke of she always wanted to be on Teen Mom, so I said how is your mother’ failed food place that my mom paid for, even promoted, then things were said back and forth. So then Momo said I was being rude, Ti goes no Momo she is sticking up for herself and then Melody said Ti isn’t far off, she had sex with a white man, like who told her to pipe up. I just told her to find her dad and she came at me, she hit my son dad then Imani just pushed her and I don’t know what happened because Majesty tried to jump in so I of course did but Momo started this, end of but clearly mom is going to side with her family, look where she is” I rubbed my face “she hurt my son, look at that scratch on his face” Rylee turned his face “I think he has had enough today, I will have him. The poor boy has seen a lot” taking Aziel from Rylee, I will have him.

I truly do believe my daughters, I really do but Robyn won’t and she will have another so I decided to not bring it up but why is it she isn’t home with the young ones yet, she is probably annoyed with them that is why, I know her “aye” I chuckled, Wyge picked up the facetime “brother Chris” he waved “brother Chris, am I a priest? But you good bro?” he nodded his head “I am, I don’t know why Wadz phone ain’t working, he is here though” he got up to go to him, looking at Aziel, he is eating a cookie at this time of night, but who cares “you don’t tell anyone this ok” I said to him, he is all clean and ready to go to sleep but I think he isn’t ready to sleep “yo Chris” Wadz said “my guy, how are you?” I asked “good, good. Just in the studio” letting out an oh “he actually gone back in now?” This is good news “oh nah, this is with Meeky” another rapper “damn, he ain’t leave the house since?” Wadz shook his head “he’s been in the house since, not left, no nothing. He’s not actually left, I did see him” Aziel is being nosey “you want to see his ugly face” I turned the phone to him “ahhh man, he got his durag on, oh man. Nephew looking right, his tan on too” Aziel waved at the camera “how you nephew?” He asked “you going to talk to him?” He shook his head “eating” he said “oh aight, you eat then” turning the phone to me “he’s erm, he’s busy. So is he getting better or anything?” I hope he is “he’s depressed, I mean bro. His mother being a therapist she can be so jarring, I said he needs to you know be away from her, but no. So I haven’t seen him since, apparently his mom said he needs space away from the bad” I cringed, his mother is actually pathetic “no comment, but tell him that his son misses him, does speak on dad but I will leave you to it bro, let me know if you need anything, peace” disconnecting the FaceTime “he’s making a mess on the bed” I knew that Robyn was coming “he can” locking my phone “I don’t like it Chris, and he’s having a cookie on the bed and why isn’t his mother taking care of him, we have Emi” she is back here pissed “please don’t bring your shit over here, Aziel is here because I want him to be” Aziel has had a shit time and I don’t want to be arguing with Robyn “your kids are so shameful” here she goes “come” getting off of the bed, I don’t need to hear Robyn.

[unrequitedloveisabitch]

#I think about this a lot because it’s just#Andrew makes SENSE to Neil. Neil isn’t at all scared of him because he gets him.#Andrew would never lash out unprompted which makes his violence predictable#Neil looks at him and realizes that and it’s such a relief like ‘oh! he just wants me to follow these very basic rules and it’s all good!’#and that makes him go from terrified to feeling incredibly safe because he knows Andrew would never harm him when Neil respects him#respects as in respects his boundaries more than Andrew as a person since he doesn’t care abt that all that much#in a way this is a very biased thing for Neil?#because he is from the same world as Andrew (and Renee) where excessive force IS necessary and not thought about twice#he plays by different standards from normal society#so the second he realizes he and Andrew are actually tuned into the same wavelength (and Andrew confirms that Neil isn’t a threat)#they just don’t have any issues with getting along with each other#Neil grew up around violence inflicted randomly and for entertainment#And then there’s Andrew who he soon realizes never uses violence for the sake of it but for a very serious cause#Neil has a bone deep understanding of that because in a way? he is the same.#and that’s soon a fact that becomes deeply reassuring because there is a logic to Andrew’s actions and nothing to fear from him#bc he isn’t at all the unhinged psychopath everyone else makes him out to be#and from there it’s a steady pipeline to defending him bc once Neil clues in on his reasons and genuinely appreciates Andrew#he gets SO pissed off at people benefiting from his presence and promises and cursing him instead of saying thank you#this is once again a PSA that Neil actually genuinely does not mind violence as the means to his ends at all and thus sees no issue there#other than ‘don’t let it get too far where people might catch you’ because he doesn’t want Andrew in jail#I fucking love Andreil ok#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#andrew minyard#andreil (via @void-and-virtue​ )

sorry your tags are just so good

Anyone ever think about how Neil went from “you can’t let Andrew pull a knife whenever he chooses” to “it’s your fault he’s pulling the knife” within the span of a book

[theravenkin]

something i just really like to think about is neil starting to show his actual personality to the rest of the foxes post-canon and them being shocked.

before they knew about everything, he had to keep up the shy, quiet, ordinary, unsuspecting neil josten act. but post-canon, i like to think that he lets loose a little, allows his real personality to show. he actually lets them see ruthless, blunt, hot-tempered neil josten.

i believe in neil having a very specific "im about to raise hell" expression where he does his scary smile and his eyes go absolutely feral, and the others learn that if they see that expression, they need to step aside. also, i think the others might underestimate how good of a liar neil is. he'll have them convinced that he's innocent but andrew will insist that he's lying; the others, at first, think andrew's being mean and bitter, neil's too sweet to be faking this time, why would he lie about something small like this? ...and then neil's expression completely changes from "innocent child" to "chaos demon" frighteningly quickly. it's absolutely terrifying. andrew sees the horror on the other's faces and just goes, see? gullible morons.

what makes this even better: i like to think that once andrew sees that neil won't be pushed around anymore, and also that neil won't let his people be pushed around either, that andrew feels like he can let down his guard a little bit. like...he feels like there is someone who is willing to and capable of protecting him for once. so andrew might actually relax a little bit...while neil gets more unhinged. i just love this trope and all the possibilities.

like, imagine neil does or says something shocking to the upperclassmen, and they turn to andrew and are like "??? are you gonna control him??" because they're used to andrew being controlling over his people. but andrew doesn't feel the need to control neil when he's like this (tbh he's not fully sure that he could). so he just shrugs nonchalantly and stares blankly (and, if you look closely, admiringly) at neil while he wreaks havoc.

it's just like...wait til the upperclassmen realize that neil is far more willing to fuck shit up than andrew ever was. wait until they realize that andrew just wants to drink hot chocolate and talk shit with his therapist while neil crosses people off his hit list. you know?

[starrycassi]

Someone asked for more about the mental pacient au so

First and very important: Neil has long hair because the one time gheyr tried to cut it he managed to get the scissors and almost stabs someone

In this version, Neil still ram away with his mom. However, she got killed when he was 15, and he got back into his father's claws

Nathan had no problems dismembering Mary's corpse limb per limb in front of his tied up and crying son

So neil is a little bit unhinged

He took after his father— not because he wanted to, but because he had no other options, anyway.

However, Ichiro saw him and decided that Neil was somewhat tolerable

They weren't exactly friends, but Ichiro didn't kill him so that's something

One day, Nathan managed to get himself caught by being too much of a show off and leaving his fucking ADN in a victim

Even Neil went "What the actual fuck Nathan are you fucking stupid how can you do something so-" at this mistake

But hey his dad is in prison and he's in it too because that's life

He calls Ichiro full on about to throw up

"What do I do now? They have him! They- they have me"

Ichiro isn't happy that he called, the cops could try and track the phone. But this is somewhat his fault, isn't it? He should have supervised that someone as involved in this as Neil got a proper education.

"What are the options?" The older one asks, because he's actually never considered this idea. He never thought the fbi would land hands on Nathan, and even less that they would be able to get Nathaniel.

"They..." Nathaniel swallows, scared, clearly "they said that if I testify they'll get me somewhere that is a bit better than the prison"

Ichiro isn't stupid. He knows Nathaniel could survive very well in prison. This isn't about being thrown in a cell.

This is about getting away from Nathan and avoiding him as much as possible.

"You are more stupid than I thought if you think I'll let you live with that idea"

Neil stutters, and he reminds the moriyama of one of the rabbits he had as a pet when he was younger. Poor thing ended up dead.

"No! I know my place, my lord- this could be good for you! For us, I mean... yes, good

That's interesting. You see, Dad? This is why I tolerated Neil he think to himself.

"I will testify, I'll tell them everything except for the involvement that could get you on... trouble. I'll make the interviews, and- and I'll tell them he never responded to anyone else, and..."

The Plan Nathaniel did about getting the attention out of the moriyama's is precarious, but it works. Ichiro is satisfied with this, and in return he allows the boy to live.

Listen I don't care how unrealistic that would be it makes sense to me.

The FBI believes everything Nathaniel says- and he's thrown in the mental facility. He's barely 18 now, but his body count is enough to get him a very, very long sentence.

He's left at his own fate, since the most Ichiro does for him is send him a change of clothes the day he's admitted in.

So neil grows to be this very BOOM kind of person.

He's nice to the kids in the hospital, and can be seen as a quiet boy. Generally.

Except he managed to almost kill two nurses with his bare hands one time they tried to sedate him.

So he works with the fbi, and he makes one or two interviews— this whole story goes popular so quick that Nathaniel is soon the talk of the fucking world.

Some people argue that he's still a kid and shouldn't have to be locked up forever.

Some say that the craziness comes in the blood and that he's better loved away.

It's a mess, really, but he's constantly working with the FBI and making sure they don't get their noses too much into the moriyamas. He even manages to call Ichiro from time to time to warn him when things could get hard. In payment for his help, his sentence gets one or two years reduced from time to time.

One day, his father is killed in prison. Some of his "friends" get him a cake out of the blue

He's 24 now. Everyone working in the hospital knows about him and his horrible personality, and everyone staying knows about his kindness and understanding to others.

And one day, the FBI says he's got to help in yet another criminal understanding shit. Because for some reason Nathaniel always manages to catch on things the fucking feds don't.

He wonders if this is yest another serial killer or maybe a gang leader the one they're going to study.

Turns out it's HIM.

[jingerhead]

Hi!!! I just saw your fic WIP list and I wondered if you wouldn’t mind telling us more about Into the Andrew-verse cuz I’m intrigued

Oh lovely anon get ready for this one.

You know Into the Spider-Verse? Well one day I was being unhinged with some friends and started making an 'Into the Andrew-verse' that became an actual WIP. This became pure crack with feelings. Let me give you a quick run through the plot:

In some far off universe, Andrew was adopted by a well-off family as a baby and grew up incredibly smart. His family loved him very much, so when they discovered his terminal illness they started looking for a cure right away. Terminaldrew accepted it as part of his life, not expecting to life past thirty, and just decided to live every day like it was his last. He went to college, met his own Neil, and started a life with him. Everyone was trying to find a cure for him, but while they exhausted their resources and time with a cure, Terminaldrew decided to look into something else.

He doesn't waste time looking for a cure. He decides to waste time figuring out how to travel across realities, because he doesn't want his family to be left alone without him. In his mind, if he can find an Andrew that would be willing to stay, then they could swap places or something. He ends up succeeding on building a machine that can find another Andrew from another universe, and brings through a 12 year old version of himself that was never adopted by the family he had. Kidrew enjoys his time in this new universe, but it's completely thrown off when Terminaldrew suddenly dies, and Kidrew doesn't know how to get back to his own universe. He just knows how to turn on the machine, so he does, but then someone who wants it badly takes it away and Kidrew can't get back home and he's terrified, so he finds himself at Terminaldrew's grave and spots someone standing there, and it's another Andrew!

But it becomes quickly clear that this Andrew isn't like Terminaldrew.

This Andrew is "canon" Andrew who just wants to go home, and he's mean and angry and Kidrew just wants to go home too, but Andrew doesn't seem to care. He listens to Kidrew's explanation of what happened, decides to break into Terminaldrew's office at his big fancy office building and Kidrew follows because OF COURSE HE WOULD, dammit Andrew can't put up with this shit. Well, they discover pretty quickly that some of the people Terminaldrew was working with to make this universe-hopping-machine were actually...very bad. Very bad people who want to use the universe-hopping-machine for very bad reasons. But they manage to get away with a little help from a different version of themselves from a different universe - Andrea, genderbent Andrew.

She wants to get home too, so she's willing to help out however she can, and it turns out that she was smart and went to Neil right away instead of any of the BS that Andrew did. And Andrew isn't ready to see Neil again (not after everything that happened in his own universe), especially not a grieving Neil, and sure its awkward for a moment but Neil knows this isn't his Andrew, so he's willing to help out. And it turns out there are MORE Andrew's here - some creepy fucking 2D stick figure, a black-and-white drawing that's way too tall, and an android, a fucking android - and they all introduce themselves and figure out a plan to get to Riko, who of course exists and stole the universe-hopping-machine.

There are many heart-to-hearts, talks and development, wondering if one wants to have kids or not, and someone has to stay behind. In the end, "canon" Andrew is going to do it, but at the last minute this universe's version of Neil shows up and won't let him. There are countless enemies, a universe being ripped open and feelings but despite Andrew's protests Neil won't let him stay behind.

And in the end, everyone ends up back at the places they're supposed to be, knowing the multiverse exists (and absolutely fearing the Doodleverse).

This whole thing is a little confusing because there's so many Andrews who need nicknames PF. It's also pure crack and not meant to be taken seriously jsjsjs. If you'd like a snidbit to read, here's an angsty piece of Terminaldrew meeting his end.

~*~

“Andrew,” Drew said through a cough, wrapping one arm around his chest. “Get me my phone?”

Andrew didn’t hesitate to get up and run to the living room. The phone had been left on an end table, screen dark. He didn’t know how to work it, so he quickly ran back to the kitchen, holding out the phone and hovering, not sure what to do. There had to be something though, right? Maybe Drew had an inhaler, or he needed to take some pills like he had earlier. Something to make him better.

He’d expected Drew to call for an ambulance or something, but instead he took the phone case off and slid out something about the size of a flash drive, only thinner. He held it out to Andrew, now finally turning on the phone to unlock it. “I need you to listen to me very carefully, okay, Andrew?” he asked as he worked.

“Uh huh,” Andrew said dumbly, holding the thin flash drive as carefully as he could.

“You need to go to the machine and go back home,” Drew explained, eyes not leaving his phone screen. “Put the goober in the slot like I showed you, and it’ll take you home.”

Drew’s eyes still didn’t leave the screen. Andrew felt frozen, because it didn’t feel right to leave like this, especially when Drew had already explained that he was sick. All of a sudden, he felt very much his age, which hadn’t happened in a very, very long time. Out of his element, unsure of what to do. Andrew had dealt with loss and rejection before, but nothing quite like death, which was what Drew looked on his way to meet.

“Are you - ?” he began to ask.

“I’ll be okay,” Drew cut him off, finally looking up to smile. “I’m calling for help, see? Don’t worry about me.”

It was obvious that he wasn’t okay, but there was nothing Andrew could do, so he reluctantly decided to straighten up and move to leave. Just when he got to the doorway of the kitchen, he stopped and turned around, maybe hoping to catch Drew clearly not looking okay, or something to give Andrew an excuse to stay. But Drew just had his phone to his ear, free arm still wrapped around his middle and still leaning against the counter. His smile had vanished, but the moment he noticed Andrew looking and hesitating, he smiled again.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Drew said, sounding out of breath.

Andrew still didn’t believe him, but he decided to turn around anyway, coming to a stop in the hallway and leaning against the wall, listening. He heard Drew let out a long breath, but nothing else until someone answered his call. Andrew waited, feeling dread pull at his stomach, waiting to hear how Drew was really doing when he finally told the person on the other line that he needed help.

“Hi,” Drew greeted. Andrew could hear the smile in his voice again. “When’s your flight?”

That wasn’t right. Andrew felt his entire body stiffen, and he continued listening.

“Just want to know when you need to get picked up,” Drew continued. “I’m going to bed soon. You’re going to have a hell of a red-eye flight.”

He wondered if the goober would break in his fist if he squeezed hard enough. It seemed thin enough that it might. It was ridiculous, but for a single second Andrew wanted to break it so that the sciency-bullshit that brought him to an alternate universe in the first place would make it so that Drew couldn’t do anything stupid, like die. Wasn’t he supposed to have a few months left? How come this was suddenly happening?

“I’m laying in bed now,” Drew lied on the other side of the wall. “Did it go well?” A long pause, and then, Drew chuckled, but it sounded wet. Somehow, he’d managed to keep from coughing. “Hmm,” Drew hummed. “I’m just tired. Don’t worry about me.”

Andrew leaned his head back to look at the ceiling. Worry, you have to worry, he thought, squeezing his eyes shut.

“I’m going to pass out soon,” Drew said quietly, and Andrew didn’t think he was lying at all. “Alright. Drive safe.” He paused, this time longer than a few seconds. Andrew wondered if Drew had already passed out, but he finally cleared his throat and said, “Thank you. You were amazing.”

A moment later, Andrew heard the phone clatter to the ground. He was too scared to look around the corner, so he finally turned and ran.

[rigginsstreet]

If Billy were to go the pure evil route, do you think there’s a better way you’d go about it or like to see it play out? Like how do you feel about fics where Billy is really the tragic type

i feel most of the fics i read where billys like full dick, no redemptive qualities, are smut.... lmfao so. probably not the best scale to judge by 😂

are we talking about billy, as a human, being evil? because thats severely different from him having a better villain/possession arc. 

honestly, at this point, i think the best route to take wouldve been billy lighting everyones ass up for not helping him. and yes, i get that like, max is a kid. what is she supposed to do? or how literally nobody else knows about his abuse, so what are they supposed to do? i get that part of it

but if we’re talking billy going full villain, then fuck logic. just have him be pissed at everyone for not intervening. AND let him kill his actual abusers (neil AND karen). actually from there, have him kill karen first. and then mike and nancy will be like “you killed our mom you bitch!” and billys like “your moms a predator, hate to break it to you, but if you still wanna defend her you an die too i guess. no sweat off my back”. so like we can go that way. i think hes more than earned that. to just slaughter everyone

if youre asking me about him getting a proper villain arc fro the get go and not the lame ass shit the duffers wanted to pull...

you gotta go bigger. and you also cant have him focus on kids way younger than him like thats lame. i mean... dont get me wrong. fuck them kids. im not concerned about them. its just like... a boring narrative. keep the max shit because thats actually grounded in something. of course hes gonna take his anger out on her when hes forced to be her caretaker. thats gonna breed resentment. 

but they shoulda upped the shit with steve by a gazillion. show me REAL bullying. go further than bullying. go full psychopathy lmao. i want this man UNHINGED and INSANE.

i wanna see billy with a knife so bad why wasnt he ever given a knife oh my god. 

and play up how charming he can be. that facade he puts up to get by, to get something out of people. make him SCARY. really show how easily he can slip that mask on and off so that when he does go apeshit and starts cutting up steve in a backalley the audience FEELS something

and like... im not an abuse victim. so i cant say what is and isnt right to show in a tv show depicting one, but for me as a viewer, i wouldnt mind keeping in the neil aspect, really showing how bad it can get, so long as he still gets his comeuppance and when he does no one feels bad about it. 

like i very much understand not wanting to make the abused kid the villain. i will not argue with anyone who doesnt ever want to see that in any capacity. but for me? i very much operate under the idea of anyone is capable of being good or bad. its a roll of the dice how a person is gonna turn out. so i do think there was a way to incorporate billys history and still make him the villain the duffers clearly wanted him to be. its just... you gotta go bigger. this is not a story meant for a minor character. you gotta really commit to it. and they didnt. which was the problem. it just... fell totally and completely flat

i love how i went straight to murder lmfao like this show was ever gonna give us a serial killer kfjbgjksbg

i was thinking bout billy loomis my bad.

for me, a successful villain is one you wanna root for. which in itself will be a controversial take lmao but thats just my personal opinion okay. when theres a villain who im just watching like “i want you dead i want you dead please die”.... i dont know that thats as fun for me. and its not that i necessarily agree with what theyre doing or whatever. its more that like... you can tell a bitch is having a good time lmao whether it be the actor in the role or the character themselves or both. villains gotta be a party. like when billy was whooping and hollering and laughing during the fight? EXACTLY that energy. we needed more of that. the unhinged clapping in the sauna scene? mr dacre kayd understood the ENTIRE assignment 

i want to end this by saying i think billy shouldve held a knife to steves throat and made him bleed. i would like to see. i would also like to see steve holding a knife to billys throat and billys dick getting hard. ive said this before. i will say it again!

oh my god billy straddling steve and carving into his chest ???? imma stop imma stop we get my point by now

[itsclydebitches]

Discredit Part Three! (Click on each pic for something resembling quality!) 

Part One---contains translations, podfic, and related works---Part Two

Tagging, credit, and transcript all below the cut 💜

First off, people who specifically asked to see more of this nonsense may God in all Her glory bless you accordingly: 

@internet-or-sleep, @just-some-girl-on-the-internet, @readytoocomply, @vocallsama, @fellowshipofthegay, @lucky-leafeon, @alph4centauri, @sumoranges, @diaphanedreams 

Aziraphale’s profile pic is courtesy of good old Neil, found here. All others are from Creative Commons. 

Sorry it took so long to produce more stupidity. YOU ALL ROCK  🎊🎊🎊 Here, have a messy transcript. 

Abdou G. 

Have you ever walked in on a conversation and, despite clearly missing the majority of it, feel like you could reconstruct it, word for word if necessary? That happened at Fell’s today. The ‘talk’ had obviously been going on for a while, but I can give you a perfect summary here: rude fuckboy thinks he gets to say who God is, Fell was having none of it.

Best response? Turn around, walk back to your apartment (pro-tip: this only works if you’re just a few blocks away), and change your shirt. I walked back in with my I MET GOD, SHE’S BLACK tee and had the pleasure of seeing Fell do a double-take.

“Yes, thank you, that’s what I’ve been trying to say!”

***

Doug E. 

Scout’s honor: I once saw that Crowley dude unhinge his jaw and eat a large pizza in one goddamn bite.

Update: you heathens read about this gay abomination with his dislocated jaw and what you decide to question is whether I was acTUALLY A SCOUT? 

***

Mary L. 

I came in with my four-year-old last week fully intending to keep him within sight at all times. Yes, I bought one of those kiddie leashes and no, I don’t regret a thing. You try holding down two jobs as a single mom to the bonefide antichrist. I love my boy, but the devil got to him, telling him things like, “Yes, Freddie, permanent marker would look just great on Mum’s only work jacket!”

I said as much to the owner because this mom needs to vent sometimes.  

I wish I could give this place a higher rating, but the ownership is frankly terrible. Inconsistent hours, no help when you’re trying to find a book, just basically all around bad customer service, BUT it still gets five stars because when I told the guy I was raising the antichrist?

“Oh yes. I did that myself not too long ago!”

We parents need to support one another. Otherwise the world is going to burn. So here’s a good review for you, Mr. Bookshop Guy. A part of me hopes you’re a better dad than you are a bookseller. The other part? The bigger part? It’s very aware that Ms. Pot here just met Mr. Kettle.

Now if you’ll excuse me, Freddie just got into the flour.

***

Alfred B.

I hereby nominate Mr. Fell as the British Steve Irwin. I’ve never seen anyone handle a red bellied black snake like that. I mean yeah, they’re a chill species overall, but there’s a difference between casually handling a snake and fucking chucking one onto the chair because it’s in your way. (Okay. Maybe Irwin was a little nicer.) 

Renee K. 

whos steve irwin?

Alfred B. 

...How old are you?

Renee K. 

15

Alfred B. 

You existed on this planet for two years with him and you dare to ask me this? Go boil your head and then use google. Good god.

***

Mark F. 

overheard the owner telling his boyfriend that last they met his brother tried to set him on fire? and succeeded?? actually now that I think about it, not sure which brother they were talking about---his brother or boyfriend’s brother--but WHOEVER has the brother needs to... i don’t even know. do something about that? ring the police or go to therapy or SOMETHING. i mean maybe they already have, i’m just an eavesdropping tourist, but the idea of someone setting that bow-tie cutie on fire—DID I MENTION THAT? PERSON ARSON. MURDER—makes my blood boil

***

Shiefa N. 

People aren’t joking about overhearing weird conversations here. I walked in on two men (owner and husband? owner and escort?) debating Seven Minutes in Heaven. You know, that stupid kissing game the better looking kids got to play in middle school. It got pretty heated at one point (pun not intended), arguing about whether seven minutes of making out was divine or damning behavior. I hung out long enough to catch the segue into a lust vs. love debate and then had to skedaddle. Nice couple. I support their weird flirting habits.

***

Chang Z. 

Is it legal to visit a store for things other then what it sells? I realize that makes me sound druggie or something but I swear I’m dealing with a much healthier addiction. (Ha. Maybe.) I cosplay (yeah, yeah, move along, trolls) and Mr. Fell has an absolute wealth of historical clothing. It’s astounding! I thought they were particularly detailed costumes at first, but no. I’m majoring in Textile and Apparel Studies. I know a naturally worn piece of fabric when I see it. Mr. Fell is always cracking jokes about how he wore this frock in the 19th century, this shirt in the 17th, oh don’t you just love my old vest? (He has... so many vests...) I indulge him because anyone who lets me borrow this stuff for free deserves all my attention and fake laughter.

Yeah. You read right. Artifacts borrowed for free. He’s even let me alter some of the stuff because I’m not exactly his size. Should this stuff be in a museum somewhere? Probably. Am I calling anyone to take my personal cosplay supply away? Noooope.

***

Leah M. 

Helping to spread the word here because I’m not sure how much foot traffic this place actually gets.

I pass Fell’s every morning on my way to work and yesterday there was a new sign in the window. This might not seem very interesting to most people on here, but you’ve got to understand that Fell’s never changes. None of it. I’ve lived in Soho since I was a boy and this place has always had the same placard with his insane times listed, same stripped paint on the door he’s never gotten around to fixing, same spiderweb in the corner I absolutely swear. My dad used to pop in there when he was in college and I swear he’s taken me through the stacks, points out books that haven’t moved in 30+ years. It’s nuts and more than a little bit impressive.

So you can imagine my shock when I passed by and saw not one, but four new papers in the front window. They’re drawings and I recommend going and taking a look for yourself. I don’t think I can accurately describe the utter chaos of crayons and glitter that’s displayed there, let alone what it’s trying to depict. A dystopia? The end of the world? If so the apocalypse features a surprising number of dogs.

There’s a fifth paper off to the side, written in Fell’s messy penmanship. It just says, “My god-children drew these!” and if that’s not the cutest things you’ve ever heard get out of my face.

***

Gabriel A. 

azirfell

alzaphral

azzzzzirafal

i’m a litttle drunk but azifjkaafha’s place is good he just needs a name easier to spell

***

Aziraphale 

Dear Gabriel A,

My partner Crowley told me about this site and the many lovely well-wishes you all have left us here. I have come to express my thanks and to offer a bit of advice. You are hardly the first person to struggle with my name, dear girl! I recommend the following three step process:

A - simple, yes? + zira - a nickname I’ve adopted over the years, easy enough to recall + phale - this is admittedly more difficult as our ending, “phale,” is neither spelled in a way nor presumed to be pronounced like the “fell” sound we end up with. In truth my name is more along the lines of Azz-ear-raf-AE-el, but change is inevitable and you needn’t hear about that transformation, nor the etymology involved in getting “fell” out of “phale.” I say this not because I don’t wish to teach you, but because my partner has reminded me--in a rather rude tone I should add--that this site has a word limit. Suffice to say you should simply memorize the “phale” portion and you shall be, as the expression goes, in tip top shape!

Best regards,

Aziraphale

P.S. Nothing personal, dear boy, but I fear I’m not terribly fond of your name either. I would highly recommend changing it if you’re ever of a mind to do so. Cheerio!

[mydysfunctionalvampirefamily]

Not another ward!! I hope they find a way around it, because last time it was just there.

Miles being all decisive and stuff. Good for him.

Ugh too handsome to be around mortals, could he be any worse???

Lmao forgetting the obfuscate faded when Neil interacted with the house. 😂 Now that's funny.

Damn Johnny, just immediately throwing it all out there huh? Telling Vitel they know he's Lasombra. Idk if that's smart. Yup there you go.

He just goes back inside and flees in a car? How pathetic.

Miles just taking a moment to appreciate the matte blackness.

Fuck man Vitel has crazy mind powers.

Black metamorphosis??? That sounds bad.

10 levels of lethal damage???? Torpor???? Hahahhaa just me nervously laughing.

AND MILES IN TORPOR. Oh Lex he doesn't die immediately.???? Well that's only the barest of reliefs!

I knew this fight was going to be stressful, considering all the buffs they gave each other before. But it feels like those buffs don't even matter rn!

It always makes me feel emotional when they call Britta Miles's adopted child.

Goddamn Vitel knows exactly what to say to make us all rage. He's the worst, but his lines do give me some kind of goosebumps. "looks like you're gonna be Prince, Johnny." "Pick which one I kill." ooohh that is real good.

Johnny being unable to distinguish between Britta and his daughter in that moment. 😭😭😭

Lasombras seem really cool and badass, I just wish he wasn't using those powers against the coterie.

Oh no. Not Johnny too, please.

20 SUCCESSES???? Uhm excuse me, I am pretty sure that's illegal.

Okay if I wasn't so stressed about this I would revel in all the badass lines Vitel is uttering. But I can only do that if they're gonna be alright.

Okay water cage is pretty damn cool.

RENWICK! Please! I'm glad I like you now.

Uhoh Vitel, you're not allowed to diablerise Johnny. Please. We need him.

Renwick is feeding on Vitel?? Ewwwww no not a feeding tongue. Please!

Goddamnit Renwick too??

Idk what he wanted to do with Wynn, but I'm glad it doesn't work!

Oh Renwick is remaining on his feet??

WYNN?!!!? WHAT THE FUCK? putting your fist on fire!

All the quiet groans and oh my gods, they're all so stressed!

Why is it always fucking tentacles??

Renwick is dead??? How did I miss that??? He was just starting to be cool! Is the fight over? How did I miss so much??? I'm very confused.

I need to go back a bit.

I'm sorry but Johnny scooping up Miles. 😏 I know I know now is not the time, but I mean...

Aww Neil trying to get Britta out.

Oh my God!!!! Renwick's head is just torn off????

Fuck they're gonna flee and this fucker is going to stay alive??? And what about Fester??? I mean I know they were literally dying out there but fuck!

Vitel breaking free 😩(also yes it took me someone pointing out to me that it's not Vitell even after there was an episode named after him)

Yes!!! Iron heart comes into fucking play, baby!!!

Nooo he's burning down the entire neighbourhood??? I knew this guy was unhinged but what the helllll??

Poor Fester.

[neighbourskid]

2020

What a year, huh? Surely not anything anyone has expected to happen when we woke up on this day a year ago. I certainly haven’t. I’m not even sure, now, where to begin to sum up this year like I’ve done years prior. But then again... I may just as well just dive right into all the media I consumed this year, as I have done every year. I haven’t kept track as detailed as I have last year, but my year was definitely punctuated by pieces of entertainment that have come into my life.

Continuing on from 2019, my obsession with Good Omens was still going strong. Which was ideal, since I was gonna spend the first half of the year writing my Bachelor thesis on it. The intensity of the obsession may have waned a bit since, but I still love that show and book dearly and hold it close to my heart, and I don’t think that will ever stop. But while Good Omens was certainly an overall theme throughout my year, there were some other things that actually stood out.

With January came new episodes of Doctor Who, and having returned to that particular bandwagon the year prior, I was all about that. Jodie’s second season finally brought what I had longed for in her first--a darker kind of Doctor. She wasn’t quite as bubbly anymore, you could finally see some of the depths in the character that I loved so in the previous regenerations, which made me love Peter’s Doctor so incredibly much. In this season, I felt, Jodie was finally becoming the Doctor. Overall, that season catered to me personally every single episode. So many of the time periods they visited were of people I loved, and the introduction of Sacha Dhawan as the Master was absolutely....well, masterful. Sacha is brilliant in that role and I am utterly stunned by his talent. Although both John Simm and Michelle Gomez brought things to the Master that I liked, it’s Sacha’s completely unhinged take on it that made me finally like the character. He’s a madman and I love it.

The next major thing was The Good Place. I tend to have a talent of getting into shows just as they either ended their entire show, or the final season is just coming up. It’s happened quite a bit, and it was the same with this. I finally binged the show early in January and it would end its final season at the end of the month. True to form, I was completely obsessed with it for about a month, before I only occasionally thought about it again. But, thinking back now, I get this incredibly fond feeling for this show, and I remember that the finale absolutely wrecked me and I basically ugly sobbed through the entirety of it. Also very true to form, actually. I want to rewatch it again some time, but honestly preferably with someone who has never seen it before. Which, obviously, is a difficult thing to do given, well, everything.

Next up is something that surprised me a lot. In the middle of having to write my BA thesis, my procrastination thought it would be a great idea to rewatch and catch up on the entirety of Criminal Minds. And so I binged 15 seasons of that instead of writing my thesis. Which, coincidentally, had also just aired its final season not long before I started my binge in March. Rewatching this, I realised just how little I took in of the actual, like, stuff in the show when I first watched it as a teen. Although I mostly cared about the characters and their found family this time around--although I do find the cases really fascinating most of the time too--I noticed just how much I am not watching this for the fact that they are in the FBI. I was hyperaware of how often they shot at people before doing anything else, how many of the suspects died before ever being questioned or being brought in, and it made my skin crawl. I am aware how fucked up the criminal justice system is, and especially in the US, how the police functions and how incredibly glorified they are in the media. But rewatching this show, I realised how little I actually paid attention to anything when I was younger. Big yikes. Still, I remembered my love for these characters, and I really enjoyed that rewatch a whole lot. Found family will always get to me.

Once I finished writing my thesis and handed it in early in July, I then found my next momentary obsession: Community. The show had finally come to Netflix earlier in the year and a friend of mine had watched it then. I remember watching that pilot episode back then and being completely uninterested in watching it. The comedy felt like it wasn’t quite up my street, the characters were entirely unlikeable, and I especially disliked Jeff who the show was more or less centred around. I binged Criminal Minds instead, but then decided to give it another try. And, well, I watched it twice through without taking a break to watch something else in-between. Ironically, and maybe actually unsurprisingly, Jeff ended up being my favourite and I found myself relating a lot to him and his arc throughout the series. I even found myself writing some short ficlet-like things in the notes app on my phone. I made an attempt at starting a third watch, but I guess then the month was up, and my brain decided it was time for something else. My hyperfixations usually tend to die out after about a month. Which is why my complete devotion to Good Omens was a pleasant surprise. I did, however, end up watching quite a bit of Joel McHale and Ken Jeong’s The Darkest Timeline podcast throughout August. 

Early in September, while already preparing for the new term at uni, and my first semester in my Master’s studies, I then turned to New Girl. Friends of mine had seen it and recommended it, and I remember watching probably the entire first season on TV while I was in San Diego the first time around back in 2016. Or at least I think it was the entire first season. Either way, I binged that whole thing, realised through Nick Miller that the go-to character I am drawn to and tend to project on in any piece of media is usually what I like to call “the garbage man,” which Nick is a prime example of. And although I spent a month watching the show in-between starting university again and volunteering at a film festival, I didn’t spend much time afterward thinking about it and moved on to other things rather quickly. I enjoyed watching it, that much I remember, and I’m pretty sure I cried at the finale because it was done wonderfully, but seeing as another month was up, my brain was probably like “okay fine that’s enough”.

I then spent most of fall and early winter watching every single bad Christmas movie available on Netflix, which was quite fun. In that moment of festivity, I also watched a movie I found absolutely brilliant and fell in love with immediately. It’s a beautiful movie called Jingle Jangle, it has a magnificent soundtrack and is absolutely incredible. I had no idea Forest Whitaker could sing and he completely blew me away. If you haven’t seen it already, I highly recommend it. It doesn’t matter that Christmas is already over, it’s beautiful either way.

By the time December finally rolled around, I was already over the whole Christmas thing, to be honest and I turned away from festive movies or shows, and eventually ended up finally picking up a gem I had heard much about and had been meaning to watch for a while. A show which, as it were, also aired its final season earlier this year. This little show is Schitt’s Creek. I will be going on about what this show means to me probably in another post at length, but for now just let me say: if you haven’t seen it, find some place to watch it, and put this beautiful show in your eyeballs. I am on my second run through already (although I’ve seen the second half of the show a second time already while watching it with a friend on their first run through), and it brings me so much fucking joy. It’s a gift, this show. And it will likely stay with me for a very, very long time.

That’s about it for the big things. I also watched a whole lot of other stuff, including entirely new things, or just newly released seasons of things I was already watching. Here’s what I can remember off the top of my head:

Charlie’s Angels (2020). The Night Manager. The Witcher. Dolittle (2020). The Librarians (rewatch). Harley Quinn (2020). Sonic the Hedgehog (2020). The Chef Show (S1 part 3, S2 part 1). Avenue 5. Money Heist (part 4). The Good Fight (S4). Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S7). DuckTales (2017 reboot). Frankenstein live. Staged (2020). Hamilton. Sense8. Julie and the Phantoms. The Boys in the Band. One Night in Miami. Enola Holmes. Supernova. His Dark Materials (S2). Happiest Season. The Great Canadian Baking Show.

I also got some reading done in-between what I had to read for my thesis in spring, and then for regular university courses in fall. Here’s some of what I can remember:

Anthony Horowitz, The House of Silk. Ramona Meisel, Sunblind. Donna Tartt, The Secret History. Good Omens novel and script book. Matt Forbeck, Leverage: The Con Job. Keith R.A. Decandido, Leverage: The Zoo Job. Greg Cox, Leverage: The Bestseller Job. Greg Cox, The Librarians and the Lost Lamp. Greg Cox, The Librarians and the Mother Goose Chase. Greg Cox, The Librarians and the Pot of Gold. Neil Gaiman, Marvel 1602. Christina Henry, The Lost Boy. Neil Gaiman, Norse Mythology. John Green, An Abundance of Katherines. Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh. Maria Konnikova, The Confidence Game. 

Having mulled over all this entertainment I consumed in 2020, there are also some non-tv or book things I need to point out. As many, many other people around the globe, I have also spent a large amount of time this year on my Nintendo Switch, playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons. It is a game I have waited for since the Switch was first announced, and I fell in love with it from the moment the first trailer dropped. It has brought me great joy in this weird fucking year, and I have more or less consistently played it since it came out in March. I ended this year with the in-game New Year’s Eve celebration and I feel like that summed up this year quite neatly and appropriately.

This year also brought with it another game very close to my heart: Super Mario Sunshine. With their release of Super Mario 3D All-Stars in September, Nintendo finally brought my all-time favourite Mario game to my all-time favourite console, and I played the entire game through in the first week of owning it, in-between university courses and volunteering at the film festival. Also contained in that package was Super Mario Galaxy which I have also played through in its entirety since. All that’s left for me now is Super Mario 64, which I am excited to play through in the coming year.

And to round off my year of entertainment, there are two more things I would like to mention. First, David Tennant Does A Podcast With..., which released its second season this summer. It is one of the only, if not the only podcast I keep up to date with and listen to immediately whenever a new episode drops. I’ve loved the first season dearly, and David came back with some incredibly fantastic guests for the second season as well. I can’t wait for what the podcast will bring in the future, but I will wait patiently until it is time. I can highly recommend it for everyone who likes interesting conversations between lovely people who clearly adore each other a whole lot.

And finally, while this year brought a whole lot of bullshit with it, it also gave me something I never thought possible and did not even dare to imagine in my wildest dreams. My all-time favourite show announced that it would be rebooted with the same main cast (minus one), a new wonderful member, and involvement of the original creators, and even started filming already in summer. Leverage is coming back. I still cannot believe it. I hoped for a movie, always. That maybe one day, they might bring the gang back together, for one last job, just one more encore. But to get a whole new tv-show with Aldis, Christian, Gina and Beth returning? With the addition of Noah Wyle? I can’t wrap my head around it. I am so excited for this. I predict that I will ugly sob through the entirety of the pilot episode, if not the first season, and will have to rewatch every episode because of it, but I have no doubt that it will be brilliant and wonderful.

True to form, I have now gone on about tv shows and movies for far too long, and haven’t really said anything about this year at all. 2020 was fucking weird. And I don’t think 2021 will be much different quite yet. I wrote an entire BA thesis in 2020. I successfully finished by Bachelor’s degree and started my Master’s studies and even got some excellent first grades in as well. I was lucky enough to be able to see some friends and family throughout the year, and even celebrate my birthday with a small circle of friends. I’ve become closer with friends, shared experiences I wouldn’t trade for the world, and, I think, maybe also grown a bit as a person.

I started this year excited to finally be able to start taking testosterone in February, and to finish the first part of my studies by summer. Although I did both of these things, they didn’t happen quite how I imagined them, but I am glad that I could do these things nevertheless.

2020 was a hell year, for sure. But there were some moments in there that I wouldn’t want to lose.

I’ve tried very hard to not be optimistic about this upcoming year, and rather take a more realistic, even pessimistic approach. But I can’t help but be hopeful. Hopeful that this year will be kind to us, and if it isn’t, that at least, we’ll be kind to ourselves and each other. It won’t be easy, and not much will change, I think. But we have to approach the coming time with kindness and compassion. That’s where I’m at currently. And I think that’s all for now.

Be well, friends, and take care.

[sixxstarrs]

too fast for love (ch. 1)

Summary: Lina was living her life how she wanted to, she was in a band and she had all of the drugs and alcohol she could want. It seemed to be her ideal until Nikki fell into her life and began rearranging things as fast as he would rearrange a hotel room.

Words: 1,885

Warnings: Drugs, alcohol, swearing

Notes: Hey guys! This is my first fic. Please do give feedback and feel free to request to join the tag list! I also write headcanons and oneshots so you can go to my inbox to request some of those as well. I really hope you all like this, I know I really enjoyed writing it. Also, this story takes place around the 1983 era, just for reference!

Tags: (none atm, feel free to request to be added!)

Alcohol was never Lina’s strong suit. Usually it was three shots of vodka and she was good to go… and by that, it means more than past tipsy. Some may call her a light weight, but to Lina it just meant she got to have fun faster, or at least that’s what she would say. Being in a band helped this, as well. Her and her bandmates were practically swimming in free booze, drugs and hookups (for the guys at least.)

Lina’s brown eyes were set on the shot glasses that were being passed around, making the one that reached her, her fifth for the night and she hadn’t even gone on stage yet.

“I’m so fucking nervous.” She whispered to her guitar player, an equally light weight girl whose family had adopted her from Korea at the age of two. With only one look Julie could tell that Lina was visibly drunk but she knew it was inevitable. “I really might piss myself.” Lina sighed and buried her face into her hands. Julie remained silent, a sort of nervous habit of hers. “Who the fuck lets us open for Motley Crue when we’ve only been a band for a year. They’re gonna shit on us.” The rambling continued and at this point it was obvious that Julie definitely had selective hearing.

“Shut the fuck up Lina.” Jack groaned from across their cramped little dressing room that all four members had to share. “You’re stressing me out, this room is so small I literally feel like I’m absorbing your negative energy.” He had both of his drum sticks clenched into one fist, the blunt ends propping his head up. He only earned a noise of complaint in response from Lina.

Jack’s complaint only earned the room about ten minutes of Lina-less silence, save the rhythmic drumming of his sticks and the mindless picking at Eric’s bass. Julie still sat in silence, choosing to read a magazine over practice her guitar.

“Five minutes.” Their manager said through the door, giving it a few heavy knocks that startled the band out of their spiraling.

“Another shot.” Lina began to pour four more shots, passing them around with frantic hands. Without missing a beat she threw back her sixth one for the night and hissed as it went down. Her eyes wandered, watching her members take their shots and Julie finally spoke up.

“We all look hot as hell, we’ve got this okay?” She gripped Lina’s face in her palms, her shot glass still in one of her hands. “Except for you, Eric, you look like you’re about to kick the bucket, but what else is new.” She teased and gently made her way past Lina, leaving the dressing room. Of course, to avoid being left alone with the boys she padded close behind Julie.

The pair of girls went to line up back stage where they knew to wait, the boys filing in soon after. Before Lina knew it she was being thrust onto stage with a microphone and a glass of vodka on ice in her hand. Y’know, as if the six shots before weren’t enough.

Lina’s usual perfect performance was marred into something new for the girl because of the copious amounts of alcohol in her system. If you were to add a couple of lines of cocaine who knows how it would have turned out. It most definitely wasn’t bad, though… It was… Maybe a new creative genius for the singer.

Honestly she couldn’t tell if she was proud of herself or not because she was more focused on stumbling off stage, running to her band’s shared dressing room and doing the couple lines of coke like she had thought about earlier.

“Wait, shit, you guys were sick!” A male’s voice echoed through the hallway in attempt to catch Lina’s attention, interrupting her in her bee line to the nearest bag of coke. She even stumbled a bit due to how fast she had been walking.

“Thanks man, we-” Eric was suddenly cut off by the blond everyone knew to be Vince Neil who had originally called out to Lina and her group.

“You should come over and party with us after this gig. Just follow the crowd.” Vince grinned as he walked by everyone, a certain lanky Tommy Lee following in his footsteps despite being almost a head taller than the other.

“Yeah… We’ll come.” Eric half heartedly called back, earning a small chorus of laughter from Julie and Jack. Lina had already taken off again to rummage through her belongings.

When the other three caught up to Lina she was already making lines on the ratty coffee table that honestly took up most of the space in their dressing room.

“Lemme get in on this.” Julie finally decided to unhinge considering she tried to limit her alcohol intake before the concert, already cleaning one up with her nose and a twenty before anything could be protested, not like Lina would have anyways. Lina followed suit almost as if it were clock work.

“Hey, if you guys want to-” Tommy Lee poked his head in the door but interrupted himself upon seeing the lines in front of the two girls, his eyebrows raising with excitement. “Yo, dude, I’ll pay you back later at the party.” The shirtless man ran over, drumsticks tucked into the waist band of his thin leather pants.

All the band could do was watch Tommy snort a line, try to explain where to meet after the gig, and then run off to join the rest of the Crue. There was a mutual agreement among Lina’s own band that no one exactly knew what to do which is why no complaints were made.

“You’re probably not gonna get that line back.” Jack said to Lina who was already going down for her second, unconcerned. Hell, it was Tommy Lee, she could have given it to worse people.

 Lina wasn’t sure if the party was what she had expected. Sure, her and her band had been on the Rock scene for a little over a year, so they had their fair share of parties, but this, this was different. It took place in a dingy, cramped apartment, half dressed groupies were filling the place, wall to wall, but there was copious amounts of drugs and alcohol. It wasn’t really enough to make up for the amount of girls, but if she was drunk enough, Lina didn’t care.

With that being said, Lina was certainly drunk enough. Jack was no where to be found, probably taking advantage of the immense amount of groupies, Eric was doing the same, but instead of off in someone’s bathroom he had one on each arm. Julie on the other hand was stuck in a corner arguing with some tall guy with black hair that Lina couldn’t quite make out from across the room, and here Lina was, mindlessly chatting with some dark haired groupie who was much more far gone than she was.

“I’ll be right back.” Lina held her hand out and promptly stood up, patting her pocket to make sure she had the one thing she needed. Her bag of cocaine. The last time she had done a line was back stage when Tommy stole one, and of course she hadn’t yet gotten one back.

Lina pushed through the people until she reached the bathroom, opening the door without hesitation. The sight in front of her made her squint her eyes. If she wasn’t mistaken, it was Nikki Sixx, Vince again and two groupies, all waiting while Nikki lined up four ivory slivers. Lina abruptly shut the door and leaned against the wall, her eyes focusing on Nikki’s hands.

“Hey, your drummer stole one from me, so like the proper loan shark I am I’m having to go to friends and family to get paid back.” Lina’s voice cut through the room and the four heads turned to look at her. Vince’s eyes automatically lit up upon seeing the girl.

“Shit I thought y’all didn’t come! Nikki cut her a line.” The blond nudged the bassist who was already pouring some out of the bag, his eyes lingering on the brunette girl.

“We’ve been hiding, pretty sure my guys are taking advantage of the amount of tits that follow your band around.” A small smile curled to the corners of Lina’s rather plump lips, her eyes focusing on Vince. With one glance to Nikki she noticed he was seemingly drilling holes into her forehead. His intense stare was enough to make her glance away before he did.

“And you’re not?” Vince teased her in response, stepping aside to let the two groupies go. At this point Lina had her head laid back against the wall she was propped up on, her eyes barely hanging open.

“I tried, wasn’t as fun as expected.” As she spoke she watched Nikki open the door to the bathroom and urge the two groupies out with a simple nod of his chin. The two girls gave him a small look of offense before trading their own looks between each other and then leaving.

“What the fuck, I was totally trying to fuck the red head.” Vince shot out, doing his line before leaving just as fast as the girls did and of course following their trail. Nikki only closed the door behind the singer, leaning on the opposite wall of Lina. Just as he had done to the two groupies, he gave Lina a small nod of his chin, but this time it was for her to go ahead of him.

“A gentleman.” She teased and bent down, doing her business before returning to her spot. The girl’s dark colored eyes fluttered closed behind her thick, mascara covered lashes, leaving Nikki to his own devices. Despite the drugs it was getting harder and harder for her to keep her eyes open. She was definitely past her limit on the alcohol and she could painfully tell.

The only thing that made her open her eyes was the feeling of pressure between her legs, and when she finally looked she was faced with Nikki who towered over her, his knee pressed between her thighs. Almost instinctively Lina allowed her arms to snake around his neck at their own pace, locking in as he took this as a ‘go.’

His warm lips ghosted his whisky filled breath against the side of her neck, and even though she couldn’t bare to keep her eyes open and her hearing was definitely fading, she thought she heard the door open and close right after, the person swearing when they saw it was ‘occupied.’

“Fuck me, Sixx.” Lina whispered out, the words rather bold even for her, but her voice faded off. The bathroom stayed silent of their voices, until Nikki pulled away to undo his belt buckle and he noticed that Lina’s eyes were seemingly glued shut. Not in a ‘I’m enjoying the moment’ type of way, but as in a ‘I took too many shots and now I need a nap’ type of way.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Nikki hissed in a low voice, his arms wrapping themselves around her frame so he could at least drag her to put her somewhere safe.