#i mean even without reading the book i can see that the trailer is Bad but likeee i know I'd hate it so much more if I'd read the book

[runninriot]

written for @steddie-week day 4

and the @steddiesongfics july prompt

Easy

prompts: trade, body swap & song: Nik Kershaw (Wouldn't It Be Good) | wc: ~1.2k | rated t | cw: recreational drug use | tags: steve has a bad relationship with his parents, good uncle wayne appreciation, repressed feelings, steve has a crush on eddie, friends to lovers | also on ao3

They’re lying on Eddie’s floor, sharing a joint like they often do. Hanging out, just the two of them, enjoying each other’s company.

Eddie’s been rambling for the past ten minutes, talks about how he’d like to swap bodies with Steve for a day, how he’d want to experience a day in Steve’s life first-hand.

   “Why the hell would you want that?”

   “You got it easy,” Eddie says matter-of-factly and Steve snorts at this very untrue claim.

   “Yeah right, I wish.”

   “What could possibly make Mr popular rich boy’s life hard, huh?” Eddie teases and Steve knows he doesn’t mean it in a hurtful way but it still stings.

   “You don’t know a thing bout it,” he answers simply, before snatching the joint from Eddie’s fingers and taking a long drag.

Steve doesn’t want to open up that box. He came here to forget, not to talk about what’s keeping him up at night.

   “So? Tell me then. I wanna know. Because- and don’t take this the wrong way, Stevie – but I really can’t see it. I mean, look at me. I’m certified trailer trash. I know what it’s like to live on nothing but toast and peanut butter for weeks because the washing machine broke and the next pay check isn’t yet due.” Eddie laughs but Steve can’t find it in him to join in on it.

He hates when Eddie calls himself that, trailer trash. As if living in a trailer park makes him less of a person. It doesn’t! It just means that Eddie and his uncle are less fortunate than others.

Steve didn’t do shit to earn the comfort of growing up in a big house, was just... lucky to be born into the Harrington family.

Wayne on the other hand is doing his best, is giving his all to make their life as good as possible.

Steve envies that.

Wayne is an honest and hard-working man, and even if Eddie likes to joke around and belittle himself for their situation, Steve knows he cherishes everything Wayne has done for him. Steve knows Eddie will do everything to make him proud. To repay him for taking him in when he needed a place to stay. For always being there for him, for supporting him. For loving him unconditionally.

They might not have much but they have each other. It’s something Steve would trade everything he owns for without hesitation.

In a heartbeat, he’d give up his inheritance for a relationship with his parents that is as respectful and loving as the one between Eddie and his uncle.

Because Steve might have a nice car, a pool in the backyard, and a name that can open doors for him but- at home, he feels lonely, unloved. He’s a failure, his father keeps reminding him. And worst of all, he’s afraid to be his true self around them because they’d never accept it, would never understand.

   “Steve? You with me?” Eddie pushes himself up on one arm, his face hovering over Steve’s. “Hey, did I say something wrong? I didn’t mean to-“

   “Nah, you’re good. Just got a little lost in my thoughts.” Steve offers a weak smile but he can sense that Eddie doesn’t buy it.

He knows him too well.

Has this annoying ability to read Steve like an open book.

It’s like he can see right through him, can see right through Steve’s little white lies whenever he tries to talk himself out of something.

There’s only one thing Eddie doesn’t know about him and never will. It’s Steve’s best kept secret; not even Robin knows. Because he can’t risk his parents finding out about it.

If Eddie knew, maybe he’d understand and take back what he said earlier because yeah, sure, Steve’s life might seem easy from an outsider’s point of view, someone who only sees the shiny exterior of his golden cage.

It’s a false illusion, because contrary to Steve, Eddie does not have to hide a certain part of himself out of fear of the consequences.

Wayne loves him regardless, accepts all of him. Wayne knows, and he’d put up a fight with anyone who doesn’t agree with Eddie’s... choices.

Steve’s father would kill him if he ever found out that his son is-

   “Alriiight, enough for you!” Eddie sits up and reaches for the joint that’s slowly burning down in Steve’s hand.

Their fingers brush and it feels like the world stops for a second. Steve finds Eddie’s gaze, can’t look away, slowly loses himself in Eddie’s dark brown eyes. The air is crackling between them and Steve feels tiny electric shocks prickle on his skin when Eddie lifts his free hand and cups his face.

The hand doesn’t linger, unfortunately, moves up his temple to brush a strand of hair back from Steve’s forehead. It’s a kind gesture and Steve wishes he could lean into the gentle touch.

But he can’t. He can’t let the wall crumble because Eddie would instantly know what it means.

Would know that, behind layers of pretentious confidence, Steve hides this vulnerable part of himself.

That there, locked away in his fragile heart, burns a small flame. A flame he tried to smother, that keeps flickering unrelenting.

Because every time Eddie looks at him, every time he smiles, every time they touch – it’s like gasoline to the flame, setting his insides ablaze.

Eddie’s hand retreats but the sensation on Steve’s face remains, hot and red. He knows he’s blushing, hopes he can blame it on the buzz from the weed.

   “Sometimes I wish-“ Steve realises too late that he said it out loud.

   “Wish what?” Eddie asks, curiously waiting for Steve to continue.

   “Sometimes I wish things were different.”

   “What would you change?”

    This right here, Steve thinks. You being so close but not close enough.

   “I’d change who I am.”

   “Who would you want to be, if you could choose?”

    Yours.

   “I’d want to be someone who’s brave.”

   “Pff, you’re literally the bravest person I know.” Eddie scoffs affectionately.

   “If I’m so brave, then why I am so scared?” Steve knows it’s more than he should confess, too much for Eddie not to keep digging.

   “Scared of what?” Eddie looks at him like he’s searching for the answer in Steve’s eyes, intense and pensive. And then he smiles, bright and warm and fond in a way that makes Steve’s heart stutter.

Inside him, the flame flares up, spreads heat from his heart through his veins and Steve knows, in that moment, this might be his only chance.

   “Scared of my feelings for you.”

Eddie kisses him and suddenly, everything does seem easy.

Kissing Eddie back is easy.

Leaning into his touch and holding him tight is easy.

Loving Eddie is easy.

Because it feels right.

It doesn’t matter what his parents will think of him if they know – this is right and it’s all he wants.

This is who he is underneath.

This is who he wants to be, openly and unafraid.

   “You don’t have to change, Stevie. You don't have to be anyone else. I love you just the way you are.”

And that, Steve realises, is more than enough.

[world0fmadness]

BRUTAL

oscar piastri x black metal vocalist! reader

♡ general headcanons for you and oscar watching metalocalypse together!

୨୧ i started rewatching metalocalypse a couple nights ago, it always brings back so many good memories… i love this show so damn much <3

♡ related smau available here and related hc available here | view my formula 1 masterlist here

reading music recommendations: murmaider by dethklok - laser cannon death sentence by dethklok - deththeme by dethklok

♡ metalocalypse is another thing you introduced to oscar!

୨୧ he never really watched a lot of tv, especially not adult swim, before you guys got together so he’d never seen any of the seasons

♡ when you asked him if he’d ever watched it and he said no, you knew you had to change that ASAP! no man of yours could be living his life without ever having watched metalocalypse

୨୧ when you showed him the first episode, he was immediately a fan! it was exactly his kind of humour, even if he didn’t get all of the references to metal bands but he’d just ask you about them and let you explain as the credits roll

♡ you binged the entirety of season one that night with drinks by you side and some food in your lap, both of you chuckling under your breath at the jokes and bobbing your head to the music

୨୧ he wanted to go straight onto season two but you wanted sleep so you left it until the next day and as soon as he was awake it was like he was a kid on christmas morning, sitting up next to you in bed and waiting for you to fully wake up so you could watch it together

♡ you ended up watching ALL of the seasons with him that day and he’s so upset when you tell him there’s no more :(

୨୧ but thankfully they’re super rewatchable and sometimes he comes home just wanting to rewatch some metalocalypse with you

♡ honestly, i can see it kind of becoming a major comfort show for him!

୨୧ oscar un-ironically picked up nathan’s “ brutal ” but you can’t say much though because you picked up toki’s “ wowee ” so you’re both just nerds

♡ he says it SO much, in response to literally any good news or information! the amount of times he’s said it over the car radio to his team is bad

୨୧ when he saw the movie trailer get posted on twitter, he was away from you at the time, at some meeting with mclaren… he was practically shaking with excitement and no one at mclaren knew what the hell was wrong with him! when he could leave, he BOLTED out of the room, he needed to get home to you fast

♡ you had also seen it by the time he gets home and he has the fattest, most goofy smile on his face as he rushes over to you on the couch and starts excitedly talking to you about it, wanting to watch the trailer on the big screen

୨୧ when army of the doomstar does come out, he books the day off from everything! he doesn’t want anything interrupting this

♡ you go to a theatre to watch it together, him buying the best seats and way too many overpriced snacks <3 he’s beaming through the whole movie, holding your hand over the armrest, when it’s over and you’re driving home you’re both insane chatterboxes who can’t shut the fuck UP about how good it was…

୨୧ you guys NEVER skip the intro! the intro music is just too good to skip, you both wait it out and bob your heads or tap your fingers to the music, oscar sometimes sleepily mumbling the lyrics under his breath

♡ i mean, you guys think ALL of the music from the show is amazing, you have all of the albums on CD and oscar steals them to take to his drivers room all the time… he genuinely thinks they’re so smart, he especially loves the really extreme joke-y ones like duncan hills cofee jingle, he wishes store jingles were actually that fucking cool!

୨୧ he probably mumbles the lyrics to the duncan hills coffee jungle whilst making coffee, it’s just stuck in his head so bad! whenever he does it in mclaren hospitality, people walking past him look at him so strange

♡ oscar recommends metalocalypse to literally every driver on the grid and every worker in the paddock! he can’t believe how few of them have seen it…

୨୧ he probably managed to covert lewis and daniel into huge metalocalypse fans too

♡ daniel now says “ gmilf ” way too much…

୨୧ he just thinks it’s really fucking funny, his favourite character is absolutely skwisgar

♡ oscar’s favourite character is toki followed closely by pickles! he thinks just about everything toki does and says is so funny, even if it isn’t meant to be

୨୧ actually got super sad about what childhood for for toki was like…

♡ you guys absolutely went to the babyklok tour! the eras tour? we don’t know her… we only know the babyklok tour <3

[storiesbyrhi]

warnings: smut, sub/dom dynamics, 18+, no beta/literally just typed into tumblr without proof reading

I've this very specific mid-20s, post-the upside down, traumatised eddie thought in my head. you move into the trailer park, and befriend eddie. he's a bit mean, he's grieving wayne's sudden heart attack death, he's got no friends, and gets fucked up a lot. you're not really like that. by no means are you purity on legs. but you're not... whatever he is.

eddie flirts and you love it and it's fun and nice and you think he's someone you could, you know, trust. you spend a lot of time together and you feel special that he does bite at you like he does others.

something bad happens and you call him. he comes over and is so good. the crying and the anxiety don't seem to shake him. he holds you and is all softness and empathy. but then in the days after, he's standoffish. maybe he's even an asshole. so he thinks emotions are unsexy, you think. it got too real.

then you notice he keeps bringing girls home. girls with the same hair as you. girls that kind of dress like you. but you're right fucking there so what the hell, right?

one day you come home and are about to walk the steps into your trailer when he comes out of his, sucking face with yet another you-look-a-like. you can't take it.

you go over and yell at him. what the fuck is wrong with him? what happened? what did you do? what's with all the girls that look like you? what the absolute fuck?

he tries to calm you down but you tell him to fuck off. whatever he's hiding, you see it for a split second. it flashes across his face. you go home fuming. he calls a taxi for the girl.

the next night, his music is so fucking loud nobody can sleep. finally, you can't take it, you barge your way into his trailer and dramatically push the needle off the record. eddies on the couch and he hardly reacts. when you look at him, you realise he's drunk. like... completely out of his mind drunk.

he can't lift himself to sit, so he stops trying. instead he just grins at you.

"fuck you,"

"seeeeeee," he slurs "tha's the fuckin' problem... can't now... can i?"

you don't know what he means. he laughs but it sounds bitter and sad. you go and kneel on the floor next to the couch.

"what the fuck is wrong with you, eddie? what does any of that even mean?"

he kind of looks at you, through you, tries to touch you but you swat his hand away.

"think i'm in love with you,"

"get fucked," you snap

"an' now i can't... can't be in love with and fuck you."

you're angry but you're more curious. it takes a lot of questioning, but you figure it out. he says he doesn't know how to have 'normal sex'. he just wants to ruin people. rail them into the mattress. make them scream so they can't breathe. he's all messed up about it. thinks it's too violent and that he's evil, like everyone says. but now he's seen you vulnerable, and he knows he loves you, he won't do that to you. and that's fucking him up more.

"eddie, there's like... twenty different things wrong with you. but i don't think this has to be one of them."

you leave him with a glass of water and some aspirin. he's not your kid to baby.

a couple days later, you leave a book on the couch outside of his trailer. a kind of sex bible. he needs to learn about boundaries and safe words and aftercare and subspace.

he's knocking on your door too quickly. he's read the book cover to cover twice.

"you do this stuff?" he asks. but you're so sweet? so normal? put together?

you tell him that it's not an all-or-nothing thing. you tell him that life is hard and you've had to be in control of yourself and everything else so much for so long, that sometimes relinquishing control is what you need. you need to be pushed and pulled into that sticky space where you can't think even if you wanted to. you need to be wanted so badly that it's primal and hard and rough.

you tell him that he's actually like, alright. that he's going to be alright. he just needs to figure some shit out.

he sits on your couch and lets you straddle him. you don't want him to use your name, so he lists off titles until one makes your breathing hitch. you do the same for him. you tell him not now, that he can invite you over once he's thought about it more. he needs to be prepared. everything has to be ready, especially the aftercare.

when he does invite you over, he already seems less angry at the world. you watch the evil dead and giggle. then, he takes you to his bed. he's a fast learner. you guide him where he needs it, but he mostly doesn't.

he fucks you like he thought he couldn't. maybe, it's even worse, which is better. you sob for him. you're pliable. you preen and glow and whimper and beg.

he is most nervous about the aftercare, and so it's a little over the top, but it feels like love because it is.

eddie goes to therapy. he's lost a lot. he's been abandoned and misunderstood. he's unlucky. poor. high school dropout. weirdo. freak. but he's also yours and he's gonna be fine.

[notasapleasure]

Wild hopes for Andor S2:

Oh, apparently blorbo *might* be in the trailer? Riding a speeder on Dantooine you say? Aughhhh don't toy with my emotions like this!!

So for posterity, before anything about s2 does actually become clear, my vague hopes/'if I got to write their story' headcanons for my Ferrix badasses are a jumble of the following:

I don't see them immediately going back to Ferrix, they're recognisable (Bix is known to the Empire, Wilmon will be known by association with Salman, Bee is known as Maarva's droid, they had an eye on Brasso as 'the big guy' even before he fucked shit up with the funerary brick...and I can't remember Jezzi doing anything specific but she'll have been seen round Maarva's home and funeral), and riot or not, I'd say the Empire will be in the mood to make an example of Ferrix rather than to go 'oops our bad we'll leave you in peace'. So it seems a bad idea for the fugitives to return there for their rebellion as soon as they've left.

On that ship we know there's a skilled electrician (Wilmon) and mechanic (Bix), and I've always presumed Brasso must know his way around a ship well enough to be able to take it apart, and that Jezzi has some similarly Ferrixian industrial skill. I thought it would be very sexy if they all got involved in making/repurposing tech for the rebellion. In my heart of hearts they're patching together the first fleet of X-Wings.

Orange. Ferrix orange (Brasso's felt jacket orange) and rebel pilot orange. And there's the shot of Cassian in an orange pilot's suit in the trailer. I just. I just have hopes. And dreams. And colour was so significant in Rogue One (the red of the force/rebellion...there was an awesome post on here pointing out way more examples than I'd noticed, but I always think of the lining of Jyn's vest). Maybe it's reclaiming Narkina orange, even? But the look of the Ferrix clothes reminds me so much of the OT aesthetic, I think that's got to be the more likely connection.

Bee? Kay? Do they meet? ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ trying to suppress the thought 'what if Bee helps to make Kay possible?' but the thought has been thunk. (ETA: NOT into the theory that they're the same person that's not what I mean. I'm talking hardware donation. Wires and chips. Not personality)

Dantooine. Dantooine base. After all this time!!!! What Legends book did I first read about the base on Dantooine in?? idek but if I'd ever written the epic angsty plot follow-up to that one fic (only ever just one night) it would have involved the Ferrix gang making X-Wings work on Dantooine :') I have feelings about Brasso the wrecker learning to make things instead :))

It should go without saying that I want to see Bix channel her healing into getting stuff done and fucking up the Empire.

I guess my feeling is that if we're time-skipping over a five year period in a, what, 12 episode season? There's not time for a huge arc for all the Ferrix characters alongside everything else the show needs to cover. My cautious assumption is that this either means a load of them get killed off/sidelined early, or they're kept together in the same setting so their stories are interlinked, but presumably with focus remaining on Bix (and Bee). Dantooine/wherever the rebel base is beforehand/the move to Yavin struck me as a good place for this, where they can still be brought in and out of episodes through whatever time-skips happen because it's a place the title character is going to be coming and going from regularly, like Ferrix is in S1. Naturally it is a selfish thought to want to recreate the S1 dynamic :)) because I want my blorbo(s) to get to be relevant and a part of Cassian's life still, but if that suggestion about Brasso on a speeder on Dantooine in the trailer is remotely accurate then I will cry happy tears.

Who knows, if they get to survive, maybe all those heart-pulverising fics and fanarts about Cassian's (glass) stone being laid on Ferrix will find a place at the end of the series?

[kseniaallis]

I just watched tw movie trailer, and it says a lot about my “excitement” that I just watched it. And of course I knew what’s happening because… fandom. But looking at it with my own eyes, book writing experience and participation in teen wolf fandom since I was 14, it just doesn’t make any sense.

I understand why they use Nogitsune as a main villain for the movie - it’s the most popular, loved, if you can say that, plot line of the entire show. Because if you ask fandom “what is your favourite season?” most of them will answer 3b.

What I don’t understand is how they’ll use this storyline without two major characters - Stiles and Kira. The whole reason why Nogitsune appeared in the Beacon Hills was Kira’s family history. And the reason why Nogitsune is so popular - DOB acting. Because I swear to God, if it wasn’t for him, it wouldn’t be just as enjoyable.

I won’t start on Derek’s son that suddenly appeared out of nowhere, that Derek purposefully raised in the town that gave him, his family, friends so many traumas? Make it make sense.

I won’t judge Hikari because I don’t know her plot line, but what I hate and what is heavily implied is that the part of her story is being the love interest. Why won’t you let female character just be in the story, without making them important just because they are someone’s love interest. It's 2023, not 2014 (but we stayed there, ig, and made it worse). And I still don’t like how her being kitsune sounds a lot like Kira’s replacement.

And I hope, hope that even if they pursue Liam and Hikari, please, please don’t let it happen with such a big age difference.

I also have no idea how having a romance with a character that appears just in the movie is a good idea. In all honesty, I don’t give a f about this character because I don’t know her and having this character have a romance with a beloved fandom character just for one movie is ridiculous. Especially, after setting up the whole Thiam heavily implied story line. Because, you see, the only reason why anyone even talk about the movie is fandom. And fandom loves when things they love at least appear, give them breadcrumbs and they’ll be happy. We are not picky.

Mason being a deputy? Okay, perfect. The boy was smart as hell and could go miles away from Beacon Hills to learn science, but no-no. He could have been emissary to the pack and it would work perfectly, but still it’s a no for them.

Malia and Parish's situation is so confusing, like even Lydia and Parish made more sense (age difference is still bad here). And they just decided recycling her relationship with Scott for the sake of Allison's return?

And why does she? Her arc was complete in such a perfect way. It was sad, but it was perfect. It brought reason for the pack to keep fighting, taught them lesson that they weren’t invincible. Bringing her back makes it all go in flames. She died young, saving her friends and it was beautiful in the way, because it brought the whole new meaning to her arc. But no, let’s bring her back and make Argent’s life even more tragic and painful. Let the poor man rest.

And I hope they didn’t kill Theo’s character off screen. But maybe him not being in the movie is a good thing. They can’t fuck up his character after completing his arc perfectly in the tv-show (still surprising, tbh, but I LOVE how they made it).

I remember founding out about the movie. How exciting it felt because I just returned to the fandom, reading all these thiam fics (because fandom recommendations on Tumblr made me, and I was never more grateful to learn about Theo character from the perceptive I have now as an adult. I hated him when I was young and now he is one of my favourites). It felt exciting because it had meaning. And we had hope for it to be at least a decent thing. A continuation of the story that made sense. But now they ruined almost half of the characters and removed the other half for the sake of two hours (how long is it exactly?) movie we won’t even watch.

At this point, I just wait for fix-it fics on ao3 that’ll make more sense than the plot jd came up with his writers.

Thanks for listening to my TED Talk.

[gayf1hoe]

Part 6

After last week's race in Baku I am in a better mood and I'm not as angry at the team's mess up. We discussed what went wrong and what they are going to do to prevent it from occurring again and with optimism I believe what they said.

After Max had come to comfort me I went out and watched him on the podium and the whole time he was making eye contact with me and smiling and even though he was there for me when I was at a low, I'm still not sure on what I want to do in regards to our relationship. We spoke briefly after the podium about what we had been up to but we didn't really speak about our relationship or friendship but I could tell he was holding something back, Max is like an open book he's so easy to read. We have started to spend more time together over the past week and things are starting to go back to "normal" whatever that may be. With the Miami Grand Prix being a week after Baku I have been extremely busy yet have still somehow managed to find time to talk with Max.

We arrived in Miami a few days ago and we have been mainly relaxing. For the past few days Zhou has somehow managed to convince me to go on a run in the morning, which normally I would never do because the idea of waking up early to do physical exercise is not my image of happiness but he is very convincing.

I am standing by the palm tree outside the hotel where me and Zhou had designated as the meeting point when I receive a text message and he informs me that he can't be bothered to go for a run today. I let out a heavy sigh at the fact I got up early and got ready and he cancelled on me.

I turn around and head back to the hotel when Max comes out and sees me.

"Hey is everything alright?" He asks.

"Yep all good, minus the fact I got up early to go for a run with Zhou and he's cancelled on me"

"Well if you want you can come on a run with me, I have no one to go with so I don't mind"

I ponder monetarily and agree to go on a run with him as I don't see the point in going to all this effort for no reason.

Half way into our run we are slightly talking about the upcoming weekend and how things are going to go.

The only thing I pray for is a quick and efficient pit stop that doesn't cause me to lose positions or the chance of a podium finish.

After a long and exhaustive run we arrive back at the hotel sweaty and out of breath and we somehow find the strength to climb up the entrance steps and walk over to the elevator.

As I push the button and the elevator dings there is a moment of awkward silence and then when we enter the elevator there is an even bigger moment of awkward silence, this is what I hate about mine and Max's friendship. We can be talking and laughing and then it's just silence and no communication. The elevator dings at the third floor and we both exit heading in opposite directions. Today is media day which is never a whole lot of fun but something I merely tolerate for the sake of the team and its PR image.

I get changed out of my running clothes and have a quick shower and get changed into my usual outfit of jeans and a T-shirt.

For some unknown reason Alessandro has called a spontaneous meaning so it can only be something bad because it's out of character for him.

The paddock is inundated with journalists and TV crews making it difficult to get from one end to the other without being questioned or having a camera pushed into your face. I make it to the team trailer and I am one the first to arrive, meaning I have to wait for a while for everyone else to arrive, but once they do and Alessandro enters the room I can tell by his demeanour something is seriously wrong.

"Sorry for calling such an impromptu meeting but I feel it is imperative that I tell you all sooner rather than later. As I'm sure you're aware Audi were going to buy Sauber and take over in 2 seasons. However as of this morning the decision was made that Audi will take over Sauber in F1 from next season instead."

The room is silent and no one says anything so I take the responsibility to break it.

"So does that mean we are all out of jobs?"

He thinks for a moment "Most of the engineers and strategists will have a job at Audi"

"But what about us drivers?" I follow on.

"I'm sure Audi will reveal their plans for their driver line up in the forthcoming weeks but at the moment nothing is guaranteed, I also think I should let you all know the team and Audi are making a social media statement right now informing everyone of the change so expect media day to be full of loads of questions about it"

We all leave the room and in the garage the normal jovial scene is solemn and quiet. The morale of the team has taken a major hit, the uncertainty as to whether or not most of us will have a job at Audi lingers over all of us. We can't help but feel a little betrayed that Sauber so willingly would accept Audis's offer without much contest but it's just a fact we will have to learn to accept.

I have to attend a press conference in 20 minutes and at the moment Alessandro is briefing me on what to say and what not to say and he goes over time. I quickly run to the other end of the paddock and walk through the doors of the conference room.

When I enter they all look at me and Max points at his watch repeatedly tapping it. I take a seat in between George and Lance and wait for my turn to be questioned.

Reporter: So Y/N the first question is obviously the obvious one. What is going on at Sauber?

Y/N: So yes it's obviously been announced that Audi is joining next season instead of the planned time.

Reporter: So is your job on the line?

Y/N: My job was always on the line regardless because I'm only on a one year contract.

Reporter: So do you think you have a job at Audi?

Y/N: I truly hope so but if not I have other things lined up.

Reporter: Can you give us any insight?

Y/N: Unfortunately not.

The meeting drags on and every time I think it's about to come to an end more questions come flooding my way.

At the conclusion of the meeting we all stand up and file out of the room heading in separate directions, I think I'm walking alone when I turn to my left side and see Max walking alongside me.

"Is everything alright?" I ask.

"It's me who should be asking you that question. How are you feeling after the whole Audi announcement?"

"I feel fine, if they don't offer me a contract and no other team does well I guess that's just life"

"So what are these mysterious plans that you were hinting at?" he asks.

"Well I have an offer to race in Formula E for Mahindra Racing"

After I finish my sentence he stops in his tracks and makes me turn to face him.

"Are you seriously going to give up on F1 and your dream that easily?"

"Well it's a bit difficult if no team wants me"

I walk away leaving him outside one of the many stands of products and I head back to my garage for a media shoot and when I walk in the mood is a little less suppressed and more joyful, well as joyful as you can be after discovering you might lose your job.

The media shoot involves me and Zhou doing some photography challenge and it doesn't take too long before we get a chance to have lunch. The hospitality building is quite empty, Zhou has a meeting so I'm left by myself to go and get lunch. After I pick out a few items to eat I dart my eyes around the room trying to find somewhere to sit like a new kid at school and I see Logan sitting in one corner alone so I decide to go over to him.

"Hey, can I sit here?" I ask.

"Of course," he replies.

I place my plate down on the table as well as my glass and take a seat. The table is right next to the window where the sun is piercing through so as I let my arm rest on the table I can feel my arm burning.

"So how are things going at Williams?" I enquire.

"It's going pretty well this year in comparison to last year, but how are things going for you?"

"Erm... it's going alright I guess the whole audi thing has thrown everyone off"

We chat for a while whilst eating, discussing an array of topics including his hopes for one of his first home races of the season.

After I finish eating I head back to the garage as I received a text from Alessadbro saying he had more important news. The amount of important news I have had to digest in the space of one day is overwhelming and incomprehensible.

I quickly run up the stairs to his office skipping most of them and upon reaching the door I knock firmly and assertively although what's really going on in my mind is the complete opposite.

I wait for a moment for him to reply before entering and when he does I open the door to find him sitting behind his desk gesturing towards the chair.

It takes a moment before he speaks:

"So Y/N following your question this morning about whether or not you will have a drive at Audi they have actually confirmed their driver line up quite quickly, I didn't even know these negotiations were taking place and they sent me the email of their driver line up and the contracts -"

"Alessandro" I interject "cut the shit and just tell me if I have a contract with Audi"

He sighs.

"Unfortunately not, they have decided you are too inexperienced for the team"

"So who are they taking?" I ask.

"Nico and Valtteri"

I don't think it's all really set in yet, I don't say anything in response instead I stand up and walk down the hallway and see Zhou sitting on one of the chairs with his head tilted back against the wall.

"I take it you have heard the news then" I say taking a seat on the empty chair, whilst Zhou responds with a simple "yep".

I follow his lead and tilt my head back against the wall and sigh thinking about the predicament that we are in but I know we can't let it affect our performance otherwise our hope of a seat next year is gone.

Morale has been at an all time low at the team so during qualifying today me and Zhou intend to make a statement to Audi that they are missing out on two amazing and competent drivers and show them experience isn't everything it is made out to be.

Me and Zhou both make it to Q3 and now is the time for us to really prove ourselves but we face the challenge of both Ferraris, Red Bulls and McLarens, Yuki and Nico also make it to Q3 but I don't see them posing a threat not because of their talent but because of their cars.

We must go out at least 4 or 5 times to set quicker laps and I await the verdict as I cross the line.

"Y/N, Hamilton is on pole, You are P2, Verstappen P3, Zhou P4 and Sainz P5."

I feel slightly elated at the result and pissed that I was only 0.032 seconds off pole position but I will improve and keep my head down for the next race.

The Miami Grand Prix still in its infancy stage in comparison to most F1 tracks yet still as vibrant and popular as them. Americans have a natural love for motorsport whether it's NASCAR, Rallying or F1 and they always turn up in their thousands to show support for drivers and to indulge in the entertainment racing provides.

I'm in the midst of getting changed into my race suit when there's a light and barely audible knock on my door. I head over to the door whilst zipping up my race suit and I am shocked to see Ollie smiling from ear to ear in front of me. I quickly invite him in and hug him.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Well I thought I would come and show my support for you and enjoy a race"

I'm still in a state of shock at the fact Ollie is here, I can see why people draw the conclusion that we are dating because we struggle to be apart from each other.

"So how are you feeling about Audi coming next year?" He asks as I fasten my shoes.

"I mean I'm little upset at not getting signed but it's life I will find something else to do"

"Wait you're not getting signed, I thought we would finally be in F1 together"

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I'm joining Haas next year, but who's joining Audi?"

"Nico and Valtteri" I declare standing up and grabbing my balaclava and helmet.

I don't want to dwell on the future much and I put a stop to the conversation and head to the door. I would love for Ollie to stay in my garage during the race but he has to stay loyal to Ferrari.

"Y/N 30 seconds to lights out focus and have a good race"

5 red light flash before me and the adrenaline that follows through my veins puts me on edge I quickly avert my gaze to Lewis who is in P1 although I don't plan on attacking him in the opening laps as I want to conserve my tyres so I want to focus on keeping Max at bay behind me which is a lot easier said than done.

As soon as the lights extinguish I let up off the clutch and try to accelerate as fast as I can but Max comes alongside me and pushes me wide causing him to gain the place.

Lap by Lap I'm finding different people behind me and every time I somehow manage to maintain P3. The team makes me pit twice and to my relief they don't mess it up and come out onto the track having not lost many positions.

Despite not gaining any positions crossing the line in P3 is a good enough outcome for me, but if F2 me heard I was settling for third he would be having a meltdown.

Being on the podium with Max feels even more special than being on the podium. It's great to celebrate together even though it was Lewis who won it still feels really special.

We have sweat and champagne trickling down our faces when we reconvene behind the podium.

"Good job out there today" he says.

"Yeah you to, you really gave me a run for my money" I replied.

We take a slow walk back to the pit lane making general conversation.

"So I was wondering did you want to go for dinner with me tonight"

I think for a moment.

"Sure Maxie"

He laughs at my response and I question why.

"It's just a funny nickname that's all" he replies.

"Would you rather me call you Mad Max or something like that"

"No, Maxie will suffice".

As I'm drying off from my shower my phone vibrates and I walk across to the other side of the room to see it's just a notification from the F1 social media so I open it to see what rubbish they have posted this time.

I open it to see a tweet that makes reality set in:

Formula 1: BREAKING Audi Annoucne their dirver line up will consist of Nico Hulkenberg and Valtteri Bottas.

After I finish reading it I place my phone down on the counter and get dressed before heading outside to the place where me and Max had agreed to wait.

The second he arrives I don't know whether it's out of anger and spite or out of passion I grab his face and begin to kiss him and as I do so he kisses me back. We don't care to look and see if there are any photographers around because I couldn't care less.

"Are you sure you want to do this? What will Sauber think?" he asks between a brief pause.

"Fuck them" I retort.

"You're slowly becoming my little rebel"

After we finish making out we head to the restaurant Max originally wanted to take me to. We are a little late for the reservation Max booked but we are still shown to our seats.

We quickly order and after the race I am starving so I probably order a little too much but my trainer isn't here to see it so it doesn't really matter.

"So how are you feeling after you found out you aren't going to be with Audi next year"

"You know I have been asked that question so many times I might as well just record my response and hit play after I'm asked it, but I really am alright if I find another seat it will be great and if I don't that's just life"

"You know I can always speak to Christian and see what he's doing with Checo's seat"

"it's fine really if Christian thinks I'm talented he will reach out to me plus I don't think he would want me around distracting you".

We speak for ages and quickly day turns into night so we head back to the hotel and as we enter the doors we are met by a barrage of questions and we are both extremely confused, until Daniel provides some context.

"A journalist stuck their camera over the fence and caught a video of you two full on making out hands going all over each other if I wasn't straight I would have found it quite arousing"

Whilst everyone laughs at the last part I inform him I could have gone without that information.

Normally I would have been a little nervous at the shitstorm I had just created but for some reason that feeling is extinct and I feel a little proud and relieved that me and Max don't have to tread carefully around our teams and the media.

Even though we aren't an established couple, in fact I don't even know what we are but it's nice to know that we try and find clarity in what we are without worrying about the media.

As me and Max lay in bed our phones are going crazy probably from both of our teams and for Max most certainly his dad going berserk.

"You know we have just created a huge drama," he says.

"I know, I can't wait for Drive to Survive"

[cxrsed-angel]

eddie x fem!reader (angst)

warning: angst no warnings i don’t think, around 2k words, not proofread

a/n: been in bad place mentally and i guess this was the result

You and Eddie had been broken up for almost a month now after being together for 2 years. When he broke up with you, he didn't give you a specific reason, he didn't say that he stopped loving you or you’ve done something wrong or anything. You wished he would’ve given you a reason as to why. You thought everything was going great, he graduated in ‘86 and started working as a mechanic, and you were both saving up to move into an apartment in Indianapolis while you attending Indiana State. You had a plan. What went wrong?

You were lying in your bed next to your stuffed animals, you had all the ones Eddie gave you in a box off to the side of your room. You didn't have the heart to donate them, they were really cute and had fun memories attached to them, but you couldn't look at them without starting to tear up. You missed him so much.

The Cure’s Pornography album softly played in the back. You look over at the stuffed animal box and see your white dragon stuffed animal Eddie had given you one day. He had the matching black one. You started thinking about the day he broke up with you, you tried hard not to, but it almost always played on replay in your head whenever you were alone with your thoughts.

You had just knocked on Eddie’s trailer, but you could tell something was off when he answered the door. He didn't look into your eyes, his body language was closed off, and he held his head down.“Um hey um come in” “are you okay” “um we need to talk.” You felt your heart sink into your stomach, you started getting a lump in your throat. “Ok what do you want to talk about” “babe-no um this wow hard,” he laughed lightly, but you could tell it was out of nerves more than anything “Eds you’re starting to scare me did-did you like cheat on me or something” “What! No no but um I think we should stop seeing each other” You felt your heart get ripped out of your chest. You suddenly couldn't breathe. You were trying as hard as you could to start not crying. “What-what-what’d you mean like a-like-a um a break or a pause or something like that” You saw him shake his head, still not looking into your eyes. “No like stop all together not a break” “you want to break up?” He just nods “why-why, did I um do something” He shakes his head. “You could at least fucking look me in my eyes Edward” your voice started to get louder, the sadness starting to mix with anger. He couldn’t even look at you, “why do you want to break up” “just because,” he said nonchalantly. He looked like he didn’t even care. “No this isnt something you can shrug off, do you not love me anymore, did you sleep with someone else, do you just not want to be-” “God! Can’t you just leave Jesus I don’t want to deal the 3rd degree right now can you just leave!” He yelled at you, it was the first time he had looked into your eyes since you’d gotten inside his trailer. “Sure Eddie yea um have a good life.” You stormed out, almost slamming the door, but you remembered he hadn’t gotten fixed yet and didn't want to cause anymore damage, especially to Wayne. You just get into your car and drive home.

Your pink phone ringing on the nightstand next to your bed breaks out of your thoughts that were replaying the scene again and again. You looked at the clock. It was 12 am, who is calling you this late? You get up and sit on the edge of your bed, “Um hello” there was a silence “hello?” you asked, more annoyed now “look if this is fucking prank-” “fuck i missed your voice” you pause, hearing his voice, you missed his too, but anger started boiling again. “Wrong number” you slam your phone down and lay back on your bed. You start reading your book to distract your mind from him. About 30 minutes later, your phone rings again, you stare at it, a part of you know it's Eddie again, but there’s a small part of you that was naive enough to believe it was someone else. You knew it was unlikely you didn't really have friends, especially ones who would call you this late; you were just acquaintances with Eddie’s, honestly. You sigh and picked up the phone “I'm not fucking doing this all night, Eddie” “I know I know but I just really wanted to hear you” He sounded off like he was high or something, you could hear it in his voice. “Are you fucking high right now?” there was a pause “maybe” “fuck you Eddie. ” You slam your phone down but leave it off the hook so he couldn’t call back. “That dick he doesn't call you for weeks, goes out of his way to avoid you, then calls you high he probably wants to come over and get his dick wet”, you thought to yourself.

You lay back down for a minute until you sit up and remember you have a personal phone and a general home phone for your apartment that your mother insisted you have when you moved out. You lay back down, “he wouldn't, right?” You thought about it for a minute and sat up “yea, the motherfucker would” you sprint to the phone as soon as you entered your living room, you see it ringing. You know you should just leave it alone, then take it off the hook and go about your night, but a small piece you believe he’s gonna call, apologize, and you’ll be back together that piece won. You slowly pick it up. “Hello?” this time, you stayed silent “babe, I know you're there,” you still don't respond “please just say something” you had nothing to say, though. You felt numb, you had lost your best friend and the love of your life all in one night, and he couldn't even give you a reason. And here he was calling you high, why, you started crying, ‘why couldn't he break my heart and leave me alone” you thought. You sniffled through the speaker “are-are you crying” you start crying more, hearing his soft tone. The one that had comforted you when you got rejected from your dream college when your pet guinea pig died, every time you had an existential crisis, or every time you would feel alone from having no close friends, he was always there. You sniffle into the phone again “wrong number,” you say coldly. You slam the phone down on and left it hanging off the wall.

You flop down on your couch and start crying, crying over the fact that you had no one, no one you could call and ask for help or talk to, crying because it was going so well, or so you thought, you felt like you messed everything up, like you did something wrong. You slowly cried yourself to sleep like you’d done almost every night since the breakup.

You were woken up by soft knocking on your door, you sat up looking at the clock on your coffee table, “why is someone knocking at 7:00 am” the knocking started getting more aggressive “Ok, Okay give me a minute!” You open the door and see Dustin and Steve arguing “No man, you didn't need to bang her door down at 7:00 in the morning.” “Well, I can't come after school you know that” “yea but I'm just saying we can just knock lightly and -” you look between them “hey whats this about?” “um can we come in,” Dustin asks? You just open the door wider “sure its not like I was sleeping or anything.”

They both come in and sit on your couch. “I would offer drinks but you woke me up before noon so you dont get a nice host” “thats fair thats fair um Steve do you want to um start” you lift your eyebrow up “ok seriously what is this” ‘its about-um Eddie” you stand up and walk over you your front door “get out” “wait just hear him out please” you look at Dustin and roll you eyes as you sit by down “what about…him” “He’s been miserable lately” “and thats my probably because?” “you guys need to get back together, he hasn’t been coming to Hellfire, the dungeon master, he takes is role very seriously and not like him to miss one session let alone every week.” “look Dustin thats rough but I dont understand want you want me to do” Steve started talking “maybe just hear him out whatever he did to make you want to take-” “wait wait wait you think I broke up with him” “well yea he didnt tell us but by the state he’s in we thought you ended it” you laugh and shake your head “no you guys got it all wrong um” you look down “he broke up with me.” There was a huge pause, “holy shit” “holy shit’ “yea holy shit guys so if this is over i would like to go back to sleep.’” They both nodded “um yea come on Henderson I’ll drop you off at school” “yea yea um we’ll see you later,” you wave and lock the door behind them.

You go to your bedroom and gain the sudden motivation to take all of Eddie’s stuff back to his trailer. You hope now would he would be at his shift at the car shop so you wouldn’t see him. After an hour, you were almost done until you see the box of stuffed animals. You were gonna be sad not seeing them, but you knew you needed to give them back if you ever want to even think about moving on. You put the stuffed animals in with the plastic box you had from moving, you decided to do one big box instead of smaller cardboard boxes that way, you just drop it off and move off with your life.

After a 15-minute drive and 10-minutes stalling outside the trailer park, you finally enter and park by his trailer. “Ok, you got this, you got this,” you say to yourself as you get the box out of your backseat. You take a deep breath and knock on the door, you were so anxious and nervous you wanted to turn back and cry, but you waited. You see Wayne open the door “hey kid,” “um hi Wayne um I have some of Eddie’s stuff” He nods, “come on in.” You shake your head, you weren't ready to step back into the place where you felt your heart shatter into a million pieces. You weren't ready to see his stuff, to be in the place that had once been your safe place that now kept you wondering what you did wrong, why didn't he want to be with you anymore. “Come on, kid, we can still be friends” you look up at him, crying a little bit “um really” he nodded “of course.” You slowly walk in and stand in the middle of the living room. “You can just put that on the floor” you put the box and floor and go to sit on the couch, but waves of memories come flooding in, all the movies nights, the first time you tried weed, make-out sessions, him teaching about DnD and showing you the newest campaign he had worked on, you just stare down at the couch.

“You can sit on the barstool, um by the counter” you just nod and go to sit. “Im gonna be honest with you, kid, this is the worst I've seen him since, um since his parents.” You didn't know much about his parents but knew they left him when he was around 10 or 11. That's all he ever told you, and he never mentioned it again. “Well um, he-he made his choice” Wayne walked over and sat on the bar stool next to the one. “My nephew, he um has a tendency of ruining good things, he has a leave before they leave me first mindset, you know, he’s been abandoned by his parents, friends one he started being himself you know, he the the town he grew up abandoned him in a way, you were his first serious girlfriend and honestly sweetie I think he got spooked, he really loves you, and you loves him back, and he’s so use to only me being around I think he wanted to leave before you left him” you felt the tears pooling up in your eyes, now it made sense why he never gave you a reason he was leaving before you left him, you look up at Wayne, “he thought I was gonna leave him” you started crying harder “I wasnt going to,” you say through sobs, Wayne puts a hand on your back “I know you weren't kid I know.” You stay there just crying life you've been doing all month, you just missed him so much, you don't even know how long you’ve been crying, you just felt so bad that he thought you were going to leave him or suddenly not want you and that so many people in his life has made him feel that way, he was the sweetest person you’ve ever known, and didn't deserve all the shit he put up with,

In between crying, you go to get up to leave when you hear the door open, and you feel the same way you did a month ago, lump in your throat, your heart suddenly in your stomach, you felt like you couldn't breathe. “Hey Wayne, I’m gonna go smoke in my-” You slowly get off the barstool “um I was just go-” “no-no, you two need to talk ” You see Wayne grab his keys and walk out. You stand still, staring at the floor, you couldn’t look at him. “Um, listen I’m really sorry,” you see him start to walk near you and flinch away, stepping back, distancing yourself from him. “For-for the calls or-” “ for that and for ending it the way I did, so suddenly, honestly, that night I realized how much I love you, and I’ve never loved anyone like the way I love you, it scared the shit out of me sweetheart, then I started thinking how you weren’t made to stay in Hawkins, you weren't meant to stay in this small ass town, babe, I realized I was holding you back and you could do so much better than me.” You see tears in his eyes now “but I don't want anyone else because there is no one better for me than you Eds. I love you so much, and I would never leave you, and You weren’t made for Hawkins either. You’re too metal for this small ass town.” You see him smile slightly, “but you really hurt me, you know that, right” he nodded “I know, babe I was stupid I should've just talked to you, I just didn't know what to do” you nod “I know Eds”  “can I give you a hug” you nodded again, and he pulls you tightly against his chest “I’m so sorry baby I will never do that again promise Im so so sorry.” You pushed him away slightly “but if you ever break up with me again and proceed to call me high in the middle night Im not taking you back” he laughs a little “while that is fair, I promise I will never break up with you ever again.” You lean up to kiss him and bent down a little and grabbed your face, his lips felt nice and  comforting.

He pulls you away from him, slightly looking down into your eyes, and you stare back at his, “man his eyes are so pretty,” you thought to yourself “I’ve missed my princess, babe” you wipe tears off your face “I’ve missed you more.” “do you want to cuddle or do you still need some space from me” “I can use a cuddle, but Eds, please, please come talk to me ok, I’m here for you and I never want you to feel that way about us again ok babe” he nods and tears slowly falling “I promise”

He wraps an arm around your waist and you walk back to his room. You both take off your shoes and lay down in his bed. He pulls you tightly into him “ ive missed your cuddles” “me too”

[kassy-munson]

Not that anyone cares, but here's my personal review of the book Flight of Icarus...

*Attention! It might give out spoilers! You have been warned.*

Again, this is my own personal opinion. Feel free to agree or disagree, but this is my own take on the book.

*forgive me for any spelling/syntax errors :)

FUCK AL MUNSON. I think everyone can agree on that -

Thank god for Wayne's existence -

For a moment, it felt like I was reading something from Breaking Bad lol - what was the point of this whole ''let's go steal drugs from a van'' story??? -

The whole interaction with Chrissy and Eddie didn't feel right to me... Like, it doesn't even fit with the interaction they had in the woods in season 4. I mean, I bet she would've of remembered Eddie after seeing him defend Gareth from getting beat up by Jason - and the whole middle school talent show thing, honestly, it seems like its just there to try and fill the pages and the blanks and, like i said, i for sure think she would've of remembered that interaction like she not that dumb -

I found it not natural how the author kept mentioning other characters from the series like Hopper, Chrissy, Jonathan, Will... (the part about Harrington made me laugh though). It's like they HAD to put other characters in to remind us that the story is from the Stranger Things franchise... I wouldn't have done that. What more does that add to the story, other than a few special guests appearances? They could've had introduced other new characters and it would have created the same effect... And btw, why was Hopper on Munson's case? Like wasn't he busy with the upside down shit, lol, like? I was surprised to see him involved this much ;p -

I don't get why they had to used Paige as a romantic interest. To me, it would have been more interesting if she only was someone who tried to get the band sign. Period. But, of course, they had to put a heteronormative relationship in book. To me, it's just there to fill in the pages to make it longer... sorry not sorry -

Finally, we have a platonic relationship between a man and a woman!!!! We finally have a good example which presents us with a man and a woman friendship like the one Robin and Steve have! I loved the little interactions with Ronnie and Eddie that proves that A MAN AND A WOMAN CAN BE ONLY FRIENDS WITHOUT BENEFITS!!!! Cheers to that! Would have loved to see more of Ronnie in the book and leave Paige out of the story, at least romantically, since she's the one trying to get him sign -

When Eddie gets blamed for Chrissy's death, why is the whole town not bring up his ''bad reputation''? Like they do it soooo often in the book ; ''ah, you're Al's son, you're a Munson''... But in the series, they kid of don't - they just mention his Hellfire Club, but not his dad, the whole shooting the police officer thing (like even if Hopper tries to keep this on the down low, I would've thought that when a situation that bad happens, the rumors would've come up again... just me? -

And why didn't he run away like his dad after the police officer got shot? He did run away when Chrissy was in the trailer? I was kind of confused by that... Like what made him change his mind about running away from the Chrissy thing, but not the police officer... -

After all he has been through, I really find it odd that not one of these storylines (Paige, the ''stealing from a drug lord'' story, Ronnie, California, his mom...) has been mentioned in the actual series, which is why I think the book is just not doing justice to the character we saw in the series. It would have made more sense if the series based the character on the book, not otherwise -

The scene where Eddie explains how his father teached him how to start a car... like we get it, it was in the show, but like why mentioning it again? And why did they use the famous ''big boy'' saying??? It was improvised by Joseph for a reason... -

This book doesn't reflect the Eddie we saw in the series. It didn't feel like the actual Eddie Munson we loved so much in season 4. And why didn't they give him a happy ending? Like what happens with Ronnie, Paige, his dad... Many things were left without an actual conclusion which kind of sucks... -

Even though it was well written, I think if they had more time and didn't rush things, the book would have been wayyyy better. I read better fan fiction than this... I would have done a whole other storyline to be honest.

If I could summarize my impression of the book with a few sentences, it would be : ''WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS THAT? THIS ISN'T EDDIE! IT'S AN IMPOSTER!''

To me, the book sets a story that's coming out of nowhere. They tried to do something interesting, but it kind of flopped. They created a character, but it isn't the famous Eddie Munson played by Joseph Quinn. It's Eddie from another dimension. Like, yes, they are a few sayings that made sense, but at the same time, many of them didn't fit with the Eddie we saw in the series. They tried too hard to used certain sentences said in the series and it didn't feel natural. Like I said, it would have been better if the character was based on the book, not the character based on the series. They tried too hard to make something out of a character that was created partially by Joseph Quinn. I know he was created by the writers, but Joseph had an important part in given birth to this iconic character. He worked hard and it shows in the series. The book though... not so much.

I might update this post if I think about anything else, but for now, that's all I can think about.

Again, this is my own opinion. You don't have to agree. Everyone has the right to their own opinions!

If anyone has reached this far, thank you for reading :p <3 I don't know if anyone will agree with me, but I just wanted to put it out here. I had to say something..

If you’re still here, please like this post so I know that this post hasn’t been lost in the void 🙃 (but if you’re liking this post because of what I said, thank you a thousand times 🥲)

In conclusion, the only version of Eddie that exist is Joseph's version. Period.

[brsb4hls]

I'm sorry, but I still cannot take the show seriously. And at this point I'm not sure I'm even supposed to.

Trying to detangle that a bit.

First off, season two is not a horror show in the classical sense, but partially marketed as one.

There is a chilling and depressing factor in the way the relationships are presented, but that's more psychodrama than anything else tbh.

And yeah, Rice's books are super kitschy and have that flowery language, but they also describe the absloute worst and fucked up things that can happen in great and gripping detail, and when you read that it sucks you in, so it's harder to emotionally distance yourself from it, even if it's completely over the top.

Now a show cannot get into it that much for different reasons, so it has to rely on showing it.

Which season 2 does not.

They simply canned the supernatural horror for relationship drama. And it's quite a choice to single that out. Combined with Rice's over he top tone the whole thing is just ridiculous.

And didn't one trailer even call it 'queer supernatural romance' or something?

So where is the horror?

In season 1 we at least had the aspect of Lestat 'playing' with his food, which was always extremely creepy and fucked up to me (and my love-hate for the movie aside, the movie actually did that even better).

The only actual horror aspect that's left now were the victims drained on stage at the theatre. And given Armand's background and the way he influenced Daniel I'm not even sure they weren't all a bit suicidal (or 'bad'?). I mean, he was the maitre, did he pick them? If he did they must have matched his criteria.

I also don't think there will be much in the future, at least not for me. The storyline to come never effected me as much as other stuff in the books. The theatre vamps are all unstable monsters who have it coming, and even though they aged Claudia up she's still a child and you do not turn children for a reason. So her death will be inevitable, always has been.

And I can't even feel for Louis here, since he used her as an emotional crutch anyways.

So, without the horror aspect, there isn't much to grip me.

I do enjoy the relationship dynamics, a queer romance drama still has it's merrits, but then again they're vampires. But without actually vampiring that much. So, there goes the seriousness.

And I do wonder about the production choices here.

And I mean everybody is clearly acting their heart out, but what exactly do they think they're doing?

Anyways, let's see how it goes.

I'm in it for Armand (Assad does a fantastic job) and the memes.

Idk, maybe I'm just numb from having watched too many horror movies in the past, maybe real world horrors are overshadowing the darkness of that show. Maybe I'm simply not the target audience, but that thing just has become way too silly.

So I'll watch it like a Monty Python sketch I guess.

[hay1ock]

Another week, another took-a-long-time-to-process-so-now-going-to-ramble Only Friends post. I have no idea where I want to start as there were so many entanglements, emotions, moments for the characters, both separately and together.

Firstly, once again, got to praise the show for looking good. Loved some of the shots, one particular one was the continuous shot of Sand following Ray into his den/music room, and also Nick and Boston beneath those antlers - was as if Nick was being consumed by a beast (how very Hannibal lol)

So, thoughts on the characters and relationships. I guess we’ll start with Top and Mew as they kicked the episode off.

Top - honestly, I’m so conflicted over him. One minute I’m like, okay I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and the next I’m all hell no, shoo *waves him away*. He certainly earned some ‘bodacious side-eyes’ this week.

1. His glance at Boston after asking Mew to be his boyfriend. He looked so smug.

2. The way he ‘claimed’ Mew in front of Ray saying they had a date and taking his hand. Does he already feel threatened by Ray?

3. The way he spoke to Ray when Cheum hurt her ankle. (I’m not a doctor but I didn’t see Ray’s idea to raise a swollen ankle as a bad thing. He clearly wasn’t looking to hurt his friend). It just felt like Top was exerting dominance again. BUT maybe with the backstory we saw he now needs to control situations and jumped in without watching his tone.

4. Him and Boston in the shower (obviously lol)👀. I couldn’t get a read what he was thinking. He said stop but then let Boston get right back to it. His expression bounced around from into it to annoyed to… I don’t know what. BUT that isn’t the way to get into Mew’s good books lol.

Then on the other hand we have the backstory and his fear of sleeping alone. He seemed genuine about his past and can certainly see his sleeping around rooted in that. In episode 1, he could have just left, maybe even still had time to find someone else if it was just sex he wanted, but he asked to stay over, even if just to cuddle and sleep beside Mew. So until I’m shown otherwise I believe him. Curious if he’s abusing the sleeping tablets though (based on bits they showed in both trailers).

Mew - just because he’s a glasses wearing virgin doesn’t mean he’s naive, I mean… have you seen his friends? Lol. I do think he’s ticking things off a little too easily, but Top does make his heart tremble so there are feelings there already and he’s maybe looking for reasons for Top to meet his list. It no way excuses the Top and Boston encounter, but I do wonder how far Mew will push his No Sex rule with Top and this whole reset and then his cookie kiss teasing and if that’ll blow up in his face? (I see you car in the preview). But like I get it. If Top cares for him he should be willing to wait until Mew is ready, build trust and get to know each other properly. Plus you know, Top has his hand and a healthy imagination, he’ll be fine lol.

Boston - or rather…BOSTON! I love him but hate him lol. Bold move with Top in the shower. I’m not really sure why he’s so bothered. Like seriously how good was the sex? Has he caught feelings? Or is it just about one-upping Mew, is there more to their ‘friendship’? Jealousy? A one-sided rivalry of some kind? The fact he’s looking to use Ray and Mew’s friendship to get Top is a scummy move. And then there’s his relationship with Nick.

After Ray, Nick is my second precious, please-protect-him-from-everything-as-well-as-himself baby. He looked so tiny with his knees up to his chest, and soft and vulnerable lying in bed for the photos. Boston has made it clear-ish what their status is so Nick should be aware falling for him is a fruitless endeavour. BUT. The ish is because like Nick I’m getting mixed signals when he’s calling him his favourite, calling him cute, giving him little kisses and confidence boosts. The first sex scene between them this episode is more how I view Boston, flipping Nick over, pushing him down, no need to see his face. He just wants sex, not a connection with Nick. Argh, Nick’s attached and it’s gonna hurt. God, everybody’s so messy lol.

And then we’re round to my best boy, Ray. God I love seeing Khaotung like this. Anyway, yes he’s a danger to himself and others when drunk, not saying he’s an angel, but as Mew said he can’t be stopped, not unless he’s ready to admit he has a problem and get help. Struggling characters speak to me lol.

I loved his scene with Mew near the start. Sure he’s jealous, probably more so when drunk, but this episode he came across as supportive. Worried but supportive nonetheless. He’s probably met some Top’s before so is rightly concerned about Mew jumping in when their might be someone nice down the line (and I’m convinced he wasn’t talking about himself here - there’s no way he sees himself as anywhere near good enough for Mew). I felt like his glances at Top both by the pool and then the outdoor activity were, yes there’s still some jealousy but also as if they were out of concern/viewing how Top is acting - to me, he seemed surprised/wary at Top coming over as controlling and jumping in about the date and taking hold of Mew, and then at the activities it felt like he was observing/considering the genuineness of Top’s calls of support (vs Boston’s done with them eye roll).

There was a lot of stuff brought up for Ray this episode. Him and Sand was just amazing. From following Sand as what probably started out as a nice distraction, to hiring him as a drinking buddy, to genuinely bonding and smiling, to, well, that last sequence - god dang he was oozing with charm and his lustful gaze and… Why does smoking always look so hot? It really isn’t but damn does it look all cinematic and sexy. But yeah, it was great not to have to listen to him throw up this week. The flashback to his mum though. It seemed she died with a drink in her hand. Whether it was straight up from the alcohol, or maybe it caused other health problems? Was it just alcohol or was she washing down pills or something? Did she drunkenly fall and hit her head? *squints at the blurry scene* It’s certainly a trauma that is part of why he drinks, exacerbated by his loneliness and now the fear of losing Mew and that friendship as him and Top get closer. I’m also scared Ray is drinking himself stupid as a way to follow her.

Sand. The goodest boy (shhh pretend he’s not selling moonshine). I loved him so much when he tried to cheer Ray up after asking questions about his mum’s death. It was clear Ray was upset and down and it was lovely seeing him make Ray smile. Also, the way he was staring at Ray in these scenes. Gah. He’s so interested in him. I found it funny him turning away the girl, when Ray had suggested the three of them hang out. At least he got Ray looking very pleased with himself when it was just the two of them. There’s not much else to dive into with him at the moment. That talk to the camera thing at the end. Boy already looks like he knows he fucked up. Playing with fire indeed. Nothing else to say right… okay maybe one thing. Tattoo *kicks feet*

Random things.

1. Cheum and April. Wasn’t much of them but they were cute.

2. Sorry Top but that dive into the water. I kind of like it in that it shows he isn’t perfect. And apparently this isn’t Baywatch lol.

3. Tattoo.

4. I wonder if there was more than that one shot of Nick that Boston took? Hoping there’s nothing that can be used against Nick in the future.

5. TaTtOo.

6. The way Sand broke the kiss by pulling Ray away *melts*

7. Sand and Nick becoming roomies. They can bitch about their emotionally unavailable men over some plum wine lol. Wonder if Boston and Ray will end up there at the same time?

8. Ray’s face when Mew said Top had ticked the get along with friends box on his list.

9. Fluffy haired Ray at the outdoor activities.

10. TATTOO.

11. I kinda wanna go to a laser quest again. Like, are they still a thing? Time to relive my youth lol.

12. Took me a minute but realised those ‘talk to the camera’ interviews reminded me of the first episode of Queer As Folk (at least the UK version) where they had a similar thing. Vince was my baby. What do you mean I have a thing for guys who have a crush on their best friend? Lol

13. I can’t help it. I’m sorry. BUT Ray in that black fluffy cardigan outfit. It was his episode, at least for me.

14. Ray’s little face when he put him mum’s record on. Everybody shush. I love him okay.

15. I know you probably didn’t want him in your bed again since the reset, but Mew, cuddling on the couch did not look comfy.

16. So, if Nick works at a family business I shall switch my guess at Papang being something to do with uni and his course.

17. Title, where you at.

18. Ohhhhh. Yo and unnamed dude (please be called Lo) are together.

And I’ll shut up now. We’re down to hours until the next episode. Exciting.

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

Your post about Daniel's LinkedIn page reminds me of a theory I had awhile back. I think Daniel wrote a "fiction" novel called The Devil's Minion back in the day, but he never got it published. He'll be reminded of it in s2 and as he's reading the old manuscript, we'll see the story onscreen

oh, that would actually be pretty cool. like we know daniel never finished the book he was writing in 85, from that one trailer. the part where they mention alice and daniel says something about never finishing the book and leaving without paying the bill. that could have been the book he was writing! i mean, probably a straight (and maybe even white) washed version of it, since it was 80s. and daniel seems to struggle with his sexuality. unless he was writing under a pseudonym, which is what he did when he wrote iwtv in the books. and

(also book lestat used a pseudonym to write his books. do you think he used daniel's pseudonym, and has basically been plagiarizing him this entire time? or did he publish under a different pen name and publish what was technically fanfic of daniel's iwtv? you don't have to answer that. i just wonder these things)

but yeah, that could have been what he was writing. maybe he meant to publish it as a sort of goodbye, or as a romantic gesture toward Armand (maybe trying to win him back? perhaps armand is tired of sharing daniel with his family? or maybe armand left him so he could have his family, but he didn't take his memories?)

then alice tells him she's pregnant. daniel realizes he can't leave her now. one kid she could manage by herself, but not two. bc it's the 80's and even though the EPA was passed in 63 it wasn't exactly strictly adhered to, and there's still that wage penalty for motherhood thing going on, and while maternity leave was given, it could still get given unpaid or underpayed. it all depended on where you worked. we didn't get fmla until 93. daniel could literally be leaving his wife and children for at least 6-12 weeks. even at 6 weeks, or hell, maybe she got those weird mom hormones and liked hulked it out and only took 4 weeks. That's still a month with no income, so the only she'd have is what's left in her and daniel's joint account, bc that's a goddamn crazy thing that married couple's do, like to this day. and daniel is drug addict, that bank account is probably in the red. and alice is probably smart if daniel falls for her, in the books his two relationships are armand and marius. armand is extremely clever. but also a manipulative bastard. marius is basically a fucking philosopher. and also a manipulative bastard. so my theory is alice is also probably smart, and at least a little bit of a bastard. so that girl definitely has a run fund.

(let me explain the run fund thing to y'all that is too young to have heard about this. when you get to a certain age--it differs depending how far down south you are--your momma pulls you aside and tells you that you need a run fund. she may not call it that, there are different names for it, or she may try to phrase it more delicately so you don't think this is just about your father, bc it applies to all men. (and if you're mom is progressive, she'll say something like, 'or maybe a woman if that's how you turn out') i am from the south. i am telling the southern tale of this, where most of us are brought up baptist, so we're supposed to not think lustful thoughts, but at the same time, there's kinda this assumption that girls are like naturally chaste. like girls don't watch porn, girls don't masturbate, girls can enjoy sex, but never desire it. at the same time there are those women. whores, sluts, hoes, bad women. and their was a tight fucking line you had to walk to prevent yourself from being one of them. you know, typical virgin/whore complex shit. anyway i think i was around 16ish when my mom told me. it's your emergency stash of money you have hid away somewhere, something secret that he (or she) doesn't know about it. it's your 'get the fuck out money'. it's your 'if something happens' money. and your momma ain't gotta tell you what if something happens means, because you already know; it's if he hits you, if he hits the kids, if he forces you into it, if he touches you like that without your permission, if he touches one of the kids like that. it's your grab the kids and go money. if you're lucky it'll get you back to family or friends who can take you in. or maybe you have enough to shack up at some cheap motel for awhile. but don't sign anything with his name, use your maiden name if you can get away with it, and never ever use any of the checks or cards with his name on it, use your cash. only your cash. take the first job you can find, no matter how shitty. but always look for something better. leave the kids with whoever you can find to keep them, and then you just keep going til you find something better and you find something better and then one day finally you can fucking breathe and you realize that you're okay that got really long and over winded but i am, so fucking high rn.

anyway, what i'm saying is alice could have reasonably had enough money to float by a month or two hidden away, but daniel wouldn't know about it anyway. so from his point of view he'd be leaving his kids with zero income for at least a month. so he couldn't be a dick and do that, he'd have to stay until at least she could go back to work.

but of course he could always leave before she has the baby, like as soon as he fucking finds out. but there's a 50/50 chance she's on his insurance because sometimes it's better to be on your spouses insurance than use your own. so he could hypothetically leave his pregnant wife without access to medical care.

maybe he decides to try to 'do the right thing' and stay with alice until she's able to make it by herself. hell, maybe he decides to stay long term bc he decides he wants to be a good father and not abandon his kids.

or he does the easy thing and is like, 'armand, babe, could we send them money? i'd feel really bad about leaving them if we didn't' and then makes puppy eyes at armand, or something more x-rated if you're nasty.

and armand is either going to erase his memory 'for his own good' so he can go live a normal human life. or daniel is going to try to call things off for good, and armand knows he won't be able to give up what they have, so his erases his memories so he can go live his mortal life, but he's like, super bitter about it. or worse option, daniel could ask armand to wipe his memories of them so he can move on.

god, i have been rambling so much. i have strayed far from the original point into what seem like random tangents, but i promise on link together in a beautiful spiderweb in brain. like that silvery stuff in that one windows loading screen or screen saver or something. i think this may be back from the windows xp days.

but my point is i really like your theory. and kinda want write fic about it one day, far away (but only with your permission of course)

[miya2006]

Weird family, but it works. And I love them!

The heat was bad, it felt as if they were filming on the sun and the stage lights definitely weren't helping the case. Boyd has been feeling ill the past couple of days but hasn't had any symptoms. Not even towards Covid, he is just sick and tired. 

The days on set felt longer and longer, and the weird glances from his co-workers grew by the hour. It wasn’t like Boyd to stumble over his lines or his own feet. He could see, compared to when he was in The sandman. He couldn’t see with the glasses of the Corinthian but now he can. 

People have asked him if everything is okay, but he always says yes. He doesn't need anyone to worry, he doesn’t want anyone to worry. Worry means that people would actually care and look after him. 

He doesn’t want to waste anyone’s time or energy. He is 41 years old, he should be able to take care of himself right?

Well turns out he can’t, not until it becomes painfully aware just how sick he is. It was a normal day at set and Boyd still felt as bad as before. He was dizzy, nauseous and felt like his entire body was just some lump of exhaustion. He tried to keep everything under wraps but it didn’t last long. Timothy must have sensed something was wrong so he had cornered Boyd in his trailer, his worry over Boyd becoming too much.

He had noticed what the others probably hadn’t. He has seen the slight shiver Boyd had, and it hadn’t gone away even after Boyd got some warm clothes to wear. Timothy likes Boyd, he is a great actor and Timothy is over the moon that they got Boyd to play Clement.

He walked into Boyd’s trailer without warning, more chance of Boyd not being able to hide it again. Timothy has tried a couple of times to talk to Boyd but everytime he always denies anything is wrong and just smiles at him and tells him not to worry. This time he won’t be able to.

He walked in and noticed Boyd on the couch, his head in his hands and a bucket by his side. He could see a slight shake in his body as if he was cold. Boyd jumped when the door suddenly closed with a bang, looking up at Timothy with a confused look.

“You okay, Boydo?” He asked, he knew the answer but he had decided to give Boyd one chance before he put his foot down and told Boyd to just let them in a bit or he might get worse in terms of sickness and his general mental health. 

Timothy always sees mental health as something important to talk about, and he didn’t need to spend a long time with Boyd to see that there was something hiding between the surface. Something many wouldn’t see unless they had experienced bad mental health themselves. And he had a suspicion that Boyd had pushed himself too hard and his body became sick from the lack of rest.

“Not really..” Timothy walked over and felt Boyd’s forehead, noticing the small amount of throw up in the bucket as well.

“You’re burning up, Kiddo.” He said as he ran his fingers through Boyd’s hair. Making a last minute decision he texted Vivian and asked if she could bring his backpack from his trailer.

“Alright, so here’s what we are going to do. You sit here and relax for a bit while I pick up some of your stuff and then we will meet up with Vivian and go home. You will be joining me and Vivian at our place, my wife and other kids are not here right now so the house will be quiet and calm.” He said, Boyd understood by the stern voice that he didn’t really have much room to protest. Not that he would anyways, he can’t really help but look at  Timothy as a brother figure but in times like these where he takes care of Boyd, he goes from brother to father. 

“Ok” Came the small voice from the couch. Seeing and hearing how bad Boyd was feeling he hurried with picking up some stuff from the little wardrobe as well as the book he had seen Boyd reading earlier this week. As well as some toiletries like his toothbrush if he felt strong enough at some point to brush his teeth. 

Once finished he walked over to Boyd and put his arm around his waist in case he wasn’t steady enough to stand on his own. Together they slowly walked outside the trailer and met with Vivian. She took one single look at Boyd before she fondly but concerned shook her head a bit before flanking him between her and her father as they walked to the car. 

Timothy got in the front seat, though he did so after a small argument over who was going to sit in the back with Boyd. Neither wanting him to sit alone in the back but neither of them wanting to leave his side if anything were to happen.

Vivian didn’t mind, she had talked to her father about her worries over Boyd in the last couple of days. Even if Timothy hadn’t gone into his trailer, she would find a way to get Boyd with them anyways. She likes Boyd, he doesn’t act like she only got the part because of her dad. He is like her brother, he teases her and messes up her hair and makes her laugh when there is nothing for her to do on set so she won’t get bored.

They lived about a 20 minute drive away from the set, and Vivian could feel her worry build more and more when she saw how the traffic was getting heavy. Lucky for them it seems the traffic came behind them rather in front of them.

Boyd leaned his head on Vivian’s shoulder, too tired to hold his head up. Making a rash decision she took out Boyd’s seatbelt and moved him so he could lay down a bit. With his head in her lap, she started to run her hands through his hair, hoping it would bring him some comfort. 

Despite the pain in his head, Boyd opened his eyes slightly and smiled up at her. No word said, just an understanding look meeting a thankful one. Timothy smiled to himself when he looked in the rearview mirror and noticed what Vivian had decided.

With the feeling of her fingers running through his hair, it didn’t take Boyd long before he fell asleep. And not long before they arrived at their house either. Neither wanted to wake Boyd, he looked peaceful for once. The past couple of weeks he has seemed bothered by something as well as restless. Never seeming to be able to keep still in one place. 

A lot of people on set were worried, all of them could see something wasn’t right. But no one dared to confront him about it, unsure of how he would react. Timothy couldn’t help but think about how far it could have gone if he hadn’t lost his patience. 

He is undoubtedly happy he lost his patience when he did. He does not for the life of him want to think about what would have happened if he hadn’t. How sick could Boyd have gotten? Would he be able to get home safe? Or would he be able to get home at all?

Shaking his head, he stood up and opened the door on the other side of Vivian. Leaning over to pick Boyd up bridal style and making sure he was able to rest his head in Timothy’s neck rather than leaning it backwards with no support.

Vivian ran ahead to open the door downstairs before continuing into the guest bedroom closest to them and found some blankets before laying them out on the couch.

Timothy placed Boyd down while Vivian went to get the bags from the car. 

He looked down at Boyd, suddenly being hit with what they had missed for days. The dark circles under his eyes, the almost constant frown when he thought people weren’t looking. He ran his hand through Boyd’s slightly sweaty hair when it fell down in his face. 

Timothy is fully aware of what Boyd look at him. Like he is a family member, a brother or sometimes - like now- a father. And Timothy finds that he does not mind. Not one bit. 

Vivian walked up to her room after a little while of them sitting in silence once she was back. Timothy didn’t leave, he didn’t want Boyd to wake up alone in a place he hadn’t even been in before.

The outside grew darker and he grew hungry. Texting Vivian to come down to keep an eye on Boyd, when she had sat down he nodded to himself and went ahead with some dinner. Figuring Boyd probably wouldn’t feel up to much he made some basic pasta with vegetables. A standard favorite and expectation whenever someone in the house got sick.

When he walked back out with the food he couldn’t help but smile. Boyd has woken up and is hugging Vivian while she is rubbing his back and hugging back just as tight as he does.

He placed the food down and gave the kids each their bowl. Before turning on the tv on low volume. Once they had eaten, he checked Boyd’s forehead again. Luckily almost no fever, his sweating had gone away yet the shaking was still there. 

Together they moved Boyd up into the room closest to the master bedroom so Timothy could keep an eye on him in case something happens. 

And it did come in handy, in the middle of the night Timothy sat upright in bed in a matter of seconds. His brain took a second to figure out what was going on, once he understood he launched himself out of bed and ran into the room Boyd was occupying, Vivian right behind him. 

The screaming died down and crying filled the room, and he pulled a bit on Boyd so he was leaning into his chest and holding him close he gently rocked him.

“It’s okay, let it out. It’s okay, darling.” He whispered into the darkness, his eyes scanning the room trying to find Vivian. Almost as if she had read his thoughts she had stood up; 

“I’m going downstairs to get him some water. I’ll come into your room with it.” She said before taking her leave. Slowly Boyd made a clear movement and a little nudge at Timothy. 

Together they stood up slowly, Boyd taking some shaky steps as they walked across the hall. Getting under the covers, Boyd hid his face in Timothy’s chest. Vivian came in as well and climbed in on the other side of Boyd leaning her head on his arm.

Silence overtook the room as he drank a bit of the water. Timothy sent him a small comforting look, not pushing but concerned about what just happened in the room not even 5 meters away from where they are now. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Timothy asked, his mind jumping from idea to idea over what it could be. 

“It was about David..” Just that sentence alone made Timothy’s heart break. He knew how close they were, he has listened to several stories about him and he has seen how many times he has worked with Boyd. And he has always had a suspicion that David views Boyd the same way he does. 

Vivan must have felt somewhat the same, as she cuddled closer before kissing Boyd on the forehead. 

“I’ll leave you two for the night. "Sleep well.” She said, sending a glance over to Timothy. Wanting to check that he would be alright, giving her a nod, she smiled and took her leave for the night.  

Timothy didn’t know what to say, or if he even knew what the right thing to say is. So he pulled Boyd closer and whispered;

“It’s okay. You lost someone very dear to you. It’s normal even though it has been many years since. You’re still human, Boyd. And if you have another nightmare tonight, I’ll be here. So get comfortable because you wont leave this room and be on your own after this.” Timothy counted it as a victory when Boyd smiled. 

“I don’t feel that sick anymore. No need to throw up, just a small headache.” 

“That’s good, I think you slept off most of it and the food certainly helped. This role of yours for the new project seems to take more of a toll on you than you realize.” He said, but they both knew that a conversation like that would be happening soon enough.

“Yeah..” Was all Boyd said before silence overtook yet again. Timothy kept up the movement of running his fingers through Boyd’s hair and it didn’t take long before he could feel Boyd’s breathing slowing down before it evened out and his body relaxed. 

TImothy pulled him closer before succumbing to the sleepiness as well.

The rest of the night went without incident, both the resident of the room slept safe and sound as did the one resident a bit further down the hall.

Can be found on AO3 as well: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51200383

[thatonecontainerwithoutalid]

FNAF MOVIE THOUGHTS UNDER THE CUT!!! DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE SPOILED.

I have never felt so conflicted over a movie in my life.

Okay, to give some perspective, there are two sides of me at play here:

1. Film/show critical

2. FNAF Fan

Disclaimer: when I refer to the books, I am referring to Fazbear Fright's and Tales of the Pizzaplex. When I refer to the trilogy, I mean The Silver Eyes, The Twisted Ones, and The Fourth Closet.

I'll be honest. Looking at it from my own critical standpoint, the FNAF movie was not very good. The story was very convoluted, and yes, I am aware that I'm complaining about the convoluted plot of a movie based on the convoluted plot video game. But the thing is, I am an enjoyed of both the games AND the books. And if there's anything to be said about the books, convoluted is one of the first things that comes to mind, so the issues I have are purely about the movie. My main and overall glaring issue was the reveal of William being Vanessa's dad. There was little to no build up to that, and I felt the more reasonable decision was to make her related to one of the missing kids, and perhaps having her see them being lured away. It would serve as a nice parallel to Mike, and her mindset of "letting it go" could still be present as an opposition to Mike's clinging onto the past.

Besides that, another problem I have is the lack of William Afton.

He's in the movie for maybe like 20 minutes? Possibly less. Which wouldn't be too bad if he left a lasting impact and his scenes were sprinkled throughout the movie, rather than condensed in the beginning and end. Seeing Afton in the first trailer got me so hyped I most literally could not function properly, to the point I was stuttering. But to see him not really be in the movie is such a let down. And the scenes he was in, besides the parts at the end, he was not really threatening, just sort of an awkward guy. And this sucks even more because Matthew Lillard did an utterly incredible job being threatening in those parts, and I would've loved to see that more.

Besides that, another character I take issue with is Golden Freddy. We see the five kids in the woods. But Golden Freddy is in this movie for maybe 2-3 minutes, max. Which is annoying, because he was shown far more in the trailers and promotional material. I personally would've like more Golden Freddy, more Willy A, and perhaps to see these two being enemies.

Ending off my negative criticism, the horror. I was not very impressed by the horror of this film. You see, I wasn't one of the people adamantly opposing the film being PG-13, in fact, the people who were so heavily against it annoyed me very much leading up to the film's release. The way I saw it, FNAF was never really a series about the guts and gore. Yes, there were moments that were grotesque, but never in detail (well, besides the descriptions in the books; I'll get to that later.) I expected this film not to scare me, but instead, to disturb me. I cannot count the amount of times the FNAF series has managed to disturb me. Things like the blueprints of Funtime Freddy in FNAF:SL, the ending of Help Wanted where you simulate getting stuffed into a Freddy suit, even down to the jumpscare sounds in the first game, FNAF does an incredible job of disturbing and or otherwise unsettling me, and this isn't even touching upon the anxiety of playing the games, especially FNAF 4, or the absolutely brutal situations in the books. I would honestly argue that the books provide more horror than the movie did. The only times I felt truly disturbed during this movie was when William Afton came in with the Springbonnie suit, and the opening credits with Springbonnie leading the kids away. There were other times that momentarily scared me, yes, but none made me feel a deep rooted discomfort. FNAF can provide a type of horror without guts and gore, but I just feel it didn't transfer well into the movie.

Some things I did enjoy though; the drawings. The whole movie feels center around a theme of drawings, and I may be biased due to being an artist, but I honestly loved it. Drawing being a big part of the story, Abby's character, and the eventual solution felt very smooth.

The practical effects. I have absolutely no complaints. The animatronics looked incredible, and I loved every moment they were on screen.

The integration of the FNAF fandom. This leads me into my FNAF fan section, but before doing that, I would like to acknowledge something.

I came into the movie with high expectations without realizing it. The 9 minute teaser got me way too excited, so being let down in these aspects only hurt more. But the main thing I want to cover is my own bias towards the story of the games.

A few paragraphs ago, I suggested more scenes of William and Golden Freddy/Cassidy being enemies. This is because it's something in the games I adore, and would love to see expanded upon. But looking through my critiques and organizing my thoughts made me realize:

I'm not upset that the movie is convoluted, I'm upset at how it's convoluted.

The books, including the trilogy, are convoluted, yes, but they all have connections to and follow the main story, even just a little bit. The movie has the same premise as the first game with details form the first three, haunted animatronics and springlock suits and what not, but it's an entirely different situation with characters who share little to nothing but names to their in-game characters. This is just one of the theories I've come up with for why I don't like the direction of the movie as much as I could.

Now it's time for the FNAF fan in me to shine.

I'll be honest, I teared up multiple times during this movie simply from nostalgia. After the opening credits, the dream theory book, the MatPat Cameo, the ending credits when it started playing the OG FNAF 1 TLT song - it was all so much and if genuinely touched me. This movie is like the Super Mario Bros. movie in this regard; it's a love letter to the fans. Despite the things I didn't like, I could feel the love for this franchise flowing from the screen. Despite all the things that push me away from this film, I can't help but care for it on a deep level. I feel like crying while typing this. I know the amount of passion and love that went into this and it makes my gripes feel all the more unserious. I'm happy we've just finally gotten this movie, a movie that cares about the fans of this series. This movie doesn't try so hard to be what it isn't, and is just plain, relatively unserious fun rather than a complex masterpiece. I'm feeling tired now and want to finish this up before I sleep.

So, yeah. Those were my thoughts on the movie. Will definitely be watching it again to try and catch more details, and maybe change my opinion on it. For now, that'll be all. Might come back and add more or edit this.

[kneelbeforeclefairy]

Okay okay okay so I need to process. I do not know why I am so upset over a fuckingtv show but I am

Okay so this is not the books. Now I do think any adaptation has to be...somewhat...faithful to the source material, or it becomes an adaptation In Name Only, and at that point why not do your own thing? However that doesn't mean it's BAD per se to change a lot of things, all media requires adaptation. Sometimes you can get the details wrong and hit the spirit. I use Howl's Moving Castle as an example of this. Pick up the book after you've seen the movie and the only thing similar is there's a dude named Howl with a Moving Castle. (Actually like the first 60 pages are the same and then they diverge wildly) but because like the SPIRIT felt similar, book fans tend to like the movie, and just accept them as two different things.

So initially I was a HUGE skeptic about some of these changes as they dropped. Why change the time period? Why age up Claudia? Why the framing device of the "second interview?" And I was pleasantly surprised as more trailers came out and FINALLY the first two episodes, that my fears were unfounded. The setting update was pretty cool, you didn't really notice it, the second interview became an interesting device to play with the idea of unreliable narrator. I'm still not crazy about 14 year old Claudia, but to be fair, being 14 eternally would suck, and it's a fun thing to explore, it's just not my favorite.

But this last episode. I mean--my chief criticism of Lestat so far was that he was too nice, and I wasn't seeing the Toxic that this relationship needs to get to Claudia Kills Lestat which is where it has to go. I was rejoicing at the moment where Lestat makes Claudia watch Charlie burn. Finally, FINALLY Lestat's brand of Awful. Other than that, aside from a few bitchy remarks, that one outburst at the table and a sort of tendency to ignore engaging with Louis emotions when he can throw money or sarcasm at them, he seems a decent guy.

And I was wondering how they're going to make him Awful, Abusive even, bad enough that when Claudia kills him we lose no sympathy for her, but also sort of mourn him, but also acknowledge it had to be done BUT ALSO when Lestat becomes protagonist, we still have to love and root for this guy. It's a fine line to walk. You can argue Anne Rice, goddess of inconsistent writing, doesn't always pull off.

But I think the answer was not just make him explode like that and beat up a man who he claims to love, who either can't or won't fight back, all because he's...jealous?

Thing is to me, it reads like lazy writing. They couldn't figure out how to show a relationship that was abusive without it being physically abusive, nor a relationship that is bad for everyone involved but does still have it's happy moments. They couldn't push Claudia to the point where she has to kill him without him doing the one unforgivable thing, and I think, to most audiences, that beat down is unforgiviable in terms of what you forgive of your protagonist. There's a line, you know? Withholding information, lying, and gaslighting people--sure, tell me your side of the story and I'll agree you have a lot of growing to do before you're a good person, but I'm still here, watching you become one. I still like you As A Charecter. Do THAT, over, let's face it, as tawdry an emotion as sexual jealousy and I frankly don't care WHAT happens to you. Thats like Tale of the Body Thief levels of "I'm not sure you can recover from that, Lestat."

And the reasoning behind it? They made it almost a love triangle. Lestat is jealous because Louis doesn't love him, he loves Claudia better? I mean, we got a good look at Louis' depression mode when she was gone, and I get Lestat gets angry because he's HERE, isn't he ENOUGH for him? And I think that's worth exploring, and I certainly think that's part of the Issues between the three of them. But that's not what we saw. We saw One Happy Family, even if Louis and Claudia are closer. We didn't see Lestat upset about it. And why should he be? I guess he feels left out? Idk it just seems...cheap. tawdry.

Oh, and I also Don't Like that the shorthand for Lestat is losing his investment in the relationship is him cheating. I didn't like it in episode 3, I really don't like it now. I think it's once again, a lazy shorthand of Bad Relationship, a sort of shortcut. I also think it falls into that old Depraved Bisexual trope and Bisexuals Won't Be Faithful To You trope. And I think there are better ways of doing that than just turning everything into sexual jealousy.

It's too....human. one thing that always set the Ricean vampires apart was how...non human...their way of love is. Most of them are polyamorous. Most of them are queer. Their love seems almost a little mixed in with platonic and familial. It's... interesting. And one thing that never happens is sexual jealousy and love triangles. That's too....easy. Boring.

The other thing that really bothered me is Claudia's assault. What. Exactly. Did it add to the plot? I get the OMG she leaves home and meets another vampire. Now she KNOWS there are others like her! But she could have left him for a million reasons--hes not as fun as Daddy Lou and Uncle Les. He talks down to her, calls her fledgling, she doesn't like that. He's old and stodgy, wants to pull her into some vampire cult. Not Claudia's style. Or best of all, he treats her like a child and that's a Trigger. But to take the only female main charecter, a black female character, and have her be sexually assualted--why? What does it add? Cause I'll tell you what it feels like. This Claudia has been aged up and sexualized--she not only is looking for romantic love, she's looking for sexual love. Now that's not MY preference in honing in on What's Eating Claudia, I think an eternity as a 14 year old is enough angst, but sure let's make it she wants sex and believes she'll never find it. (it also bothers me her snap is after 5 years. Like...girl....you might find love you are still 19. ) But whatever, okay, so she's very sexual. But the second she leaves home the first thing we see happen to her is she gets assaulted? It looks to me like a punishment. Claudia wants to get laid and that's what happens to naughty little girls who are too sexual too soon they get into bad situations that for some damn reason, a freaking vampire can't fight her way out of. (I mean if it was a 200 year old vamp, at least there's some textual basis, but that guy was her human and vampiric equal, give or take a few years. ) And the fact that this happens to a black teenager--when the sexualization of black girls is such a problem in media and in real life....it's not a good look, show. It's not a good look.

And that weird She Tore The Pages Out thing? Wasn't that a FUN way of dwelling on the assault of a black woman without showing it and getting the criticism for SHOWING assault a la Game of Thrones? Felt very have your cake and eat it too.

Anyway, I am just... Angry. Yes I'm angry as a Book Fan. But I've been enjoying this adaptation on its own merits until this episode. Sometimes it REALLY hits the spirit of the thing, despite so many detail changes. Sometimes it goes left and starts telling its own story...and that's FINE. But at this point I feel like it's not longer got much of a resemblance to the books, it's not telling that story any more, but I don't know what story it wanted to tell. I can't figure out what this is about. And I feel like the COMPLEXITY that is the Lestat/Louis/Claudia household has been thrown out the window in favor of ...almost a love triangle? Romantic jealousy, sexual jealousy and the only way the writers can show a bad relationship, infidelity and physical abuse.

It's lazy. It's lazy and I hate it.

[darcylizzy]

Ngl all this outrage over the Netflix Persuasion trailer is making me want to actually read the book 👀

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

“Where the Crawdads Sing” (2022) movie review:

Short review:

It’s fine, I guess, if you can ignore the huge leaps in logic, story inconsistency, forced melodrama, and the twist ending that felt like a “subversion of your expectations” but only for the sake of doing so. 

Letter grade of D+ / C- 

Long review:

DISCLAIMER: I did not read the book, so this will be solely a discussion about the movie.

So...yeah. This may be one of the few times where I fully agree with the Rotten Tomatoes score. When I saw that it was sitting at 36%, I wasn’t convinced since the movie looked like it had a lot going for it. Murder mystery, strong female lead, based on a best-selling novel, and tackling heavy themes like abuse. This movie LOOKED good. It was only after watching the movie did I realize that maybe the trailer did too good of a job selling people on the story.

Maybe the problems I’m about to discuss are a result of the movie being an adaptation, which means a lot of material from the books may have been cut. At it sits right now, it feels like there is a lot missing from the movie. 

First off, what the focus of the movie was supposed to be on. The trailers make it seem like the story is about a young woman dealing with being ostracized by the town she’s living in. To the people around her, she is the “marsh girl”, this boogeyman-like person who is the subject of many ghost stories and rumors. But, that’s not what the movie is actually about. There’s only one real scene where Kya Clark deals with the town’s bullying (when she ran away from school). Other than that, the REAL movie is about her whirlwind romances with Tate and Chase. 

This is a huge problem for me because the closing argument of the movie doesn’t feel representative of the movie as a whole. The defense attorney talks about how the town feared her and didn’t understand her, but you never really see the town do that except for one scene near the beginning. Sure, the prosecution’s witnesses said bad things about Kya, but that’s expected, especially since they were close to Chase. Maybe this is just me but family members bad-mouthing the suspected killer isn’t the same as shunning a girl just for her lifestyle. 

It’s not enough to say Kya is shunned by the town, we need to see it. Emphasize that point because it’s literally the closing argument of the movie. 

But okay, so the movie is actually a melodrama about two, failed romances. Sure, that’s fine, I can deal with that. Except the romances feel so contrived that I felt like I was watching the first draft of a cheesy, young adult romance novel. 

Let’s start with Tate.

Tate’s romance storyline...hurt my brain. I guess there was chemistry there, but it was the type of chemistry where two gorgeous people just stare at each other and you’re supposed to assume they like one another. Because aside from looks, how their relationship progressed didn’t make sense to me. Their first kiss literally happened because Tate talked about the tragic deaths of his mother and sister, which was immediately followed up by them frolicking through some leaves in the wind. And then, they nearly had sex for the first time because they saw some geese flying in (were they geese? That’s just my guess). I guess people are turned on by birds on a creek/marsh/swamp/lake.

But what truly bothered me about Tate’s storyline is that this man left her for years WITHOUT an explanation. I would’ve been fine if his excuse was that he had been drafted for Vietnam since the war was during this decade, but the character’s actual excuse was that he thought Kya would never leave the marsh. So, after promising to never abandon her...he abandons her. And yet, they still get married at the end. 

Was I supposed to like Tate? If so, his abandonment of Kya was so egregious that it essentially ruined his character in the second half of the movie. Even leaving Kya for one year would’ve been bad enough, but the movie makes it clear that it was for several years. And the thing is, I think the audience is supposed to be pro-Tate since he’s part of Kya’s happy ending. I’m not saying any of this because I’m #TeamTate, I’m saying this because Tate’s inexplicable abandonment of Kya actually hurt the storyline.

Alright, let’s move onto Chase. 

For the most part, I thought the movie did a decent job at setting up Chase. He’s the “nice guy” who starts off great, but then is revealed to be a violent abuser who Kya must escape from. You’re not supposed to like Chase (unlike Tate) and the movie made it clear with its portrayal of the character. 

My complaint about Chase’s storyline is more indicative of the movie’s problems as a whole. This whole movie feels like cheap, forced melodrama, like a soap opera but with a higher budget (so...the CW). For example, the scene where Chase is outed as having a secret fiancee. The revelation was so sudden and forced that it was unintentionally hilarious. It’s not enough that Chase is an abuser, no, he has to have a secret lover who Kya never knew about. 

The fiancee doesn’t come back up in the movie, if I recall correctly. So...if this character is only there to serve as a “shock” reveal...maybe...cut the character? The fiancee reveal isn’t necessary to show that Chase is an abuser, that point is already made when he smacks Kya. Yes, I am aware that it was the fiancee reveal that led to Chase becoming violent, but the movie could’ve done Chase’s heel turn in a much more natural way. 

Maybe Chase turns into a violent drunk like Kya’s father? You see him drink beer several times in the movie, that could’ve been a subtle way of showing that Chase was becoming an alcoholic. Or maybe Chase learns about Tate and becomes a jealous monster when Tate comes back. There are several ways to do Chase’s storyline without having to resort to the forced twist of “I had a secret lover this whole time”. 

Now...the ending.

I’m actually not opposed to the “accused protagonist was actually the killer” twist...in theory. This type of twist can work, but it’s usually done when the author is portraying the protagonist as the TRUE VILLAIN of the story. For example (SPOILERS FOR TWO OTHER MOVIES):

1) Primal Fear: Edward Norton’s character reveals he faked his personality disorder in order to escape a guilty verdict.

2) Body of Evidence: Madonna’s character was guilty the whole time and is actually the kind of person everyone thought she was (a gold digger who murders her lovers)

So, what is the movie trying to say here? That Kya is the boogeyman that the town made her out to be? “Oh, but she needed to kill Chase because he’s evil!” Sure, I get that, but the twist hurts the story since it validates the town’s perception of Kya as an unrepentant murderer when most of the movie is centered on portraying Kya as this misunderstood person. 

If this is the angle that the story was trying to take, why not just have Kya admit to the killing? Have her claim it was either 1) self-defense or 2) she needed to do it because Chase left her no choice. The attorney can argue that, under the circumstances, Kya killed Chase “in the heat of passion” (voluntary manslaughter). At the very least, Kya could avoid facing the full wrath of the judge and jury, especially since Kya’s story could make her look sympathetic. 

This ending really left a bad taste in my mouth. In addition, it was another example of the forced melodrama that was prevalent throughout the movie. What did Kya killing Chase add to the movie? Aside from casting Kya in a negative light, it felt unnecessary, especially since the ending already felt stretched out. 

Aside from the story, the leaps in logic were pretty hard to take in. Now, I’m someone who watches Marvel movies, plays games like Persona, and watches shows like Stranger Things. I can suspend my disbelief just fine. But somehow, this movie was pushing it, especially since the story took place in the real world:

1) So I guess Social Services doesn’t know how to do their job? It’s not like Kya was moving around like Jason Bourne, she’s literally living in the same house throughout the whole movie. No one bothered to investigate the house for more than five minutes? Also, she sends out mail from where she lives. The government can’t track her down that way? (my girlfriend, who does social work, was frustrated by this as well)

2) Speaking as a law school student, the courtroom scenes ranged from “Okay, not so bad” to “Please god, make it stop”. Every time the lawyers approached the jurors, I wanted to punch something in the room.

3) This feral swamp girl looks surprisingly good, like she’s a Hollywood actress or something. But seriously, Kya did not look like someone who was surviving alone in the wild. Yes, she had a house, but it was still her alone against the wilderness. She looked like someone living in the town, which goes against her whole story.

4) Kya, the feral swamp girl, becomes a best-selling author...sure. I feel like I’d be more accepting of this plot point if we had actually seen more examples of her poetry. Instead, the movie just assumes that the audience will accept that Kya is an amazing writer. 

5) Kya, who was a murder suspect, somehow got away with hiding evidence within her books. You’re telling me the police wouldn’t put her books into evidence? It’s not like there was a secret compartment either, she just taped Chase’s necklace on one of the pages.

6) The defense attorney making it seem like Kya murdering Chase was too ridiculous worked a little too well. So many things had to go right in order for Kya’s murder scheme to work. 

Okay, I’m exhausted. My advice, just go watch “Top Gun: Maverick” again. Or “Thor: Love and Thunder”, that’s a fun movie. Oh heck, even “Minions - The Rise of Gru”, people seem to like that movie.

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Other nitpicky complaints:

1) It’s not a good look that Delia Owens, who is wanted for murder, wrote a story where a young woman gets away with murder. 

2) The army (marine?) brother coming back didn’t really add to the movie. I know he tells Kya that their mother died, but the character doesn’t actually do anything in the main story. Kya could’ve easily learned her mother died through the newspaper or something.

3) What was the point of the cat in the courtroom? They showed the cat sitting on a chair like it was significant or symbolic of something.

4) Kya and Tate never moved from that one spot in the marshes. Sure, let’s just stay in the area where the townsfolk hate my very existence and is the area where all my traumas occurred. You’d think that Tate would’ve convinced Kya to move at some point, especially since he’s a college graduate.