#i mean I'm a fucking grown ass woman why am I like this

[captainsparklefingers]

AND ANOTHER THING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT REAL QUICK (I am so sorry to like the 5 people who come here for like meaningful content of any kind, it's just one of those days).

So as mentioned I've got a cold. It sucks. It's not super serious and it's not COVID or the flu but it still makes me feel like hot garbage. I don't want to go out. I don't want to do much beyond sleep, tbh. I need to eat something, but because I'm bad at food my grocery options in house are iffy and limited, and the whole 'feeling like hot garbage' is not conductive to cooking. I want soup. I do not have soup.

There is a ramen place in town that delivers and also uses Uber eats. Ramen would be good. It has soup AND noodles, so best of both worlds! But ordering food is expensive. Ordering delivery even more so. And did I impulsively buy a few things off Etsy earlier today (specifically two silicone molds for resin projects that I can't use because I don't have a pressure pot and it's almost winter and an expensive yet very pretty enamel pin of vex and vax for my pin board), even though I told myself I was gonna be really good and do very little fun spending this month, so impulsively getting delivery ramen would be a stupid idea.

I could make pasta. I have pasta! Pasta is good. But what nutritional value does it give me when sick beyond 'delicious carbs'? Not much. And did I eat some cake earlier that I absolutely should not have? You bet I did! I make great life choices, folks!

I have yogurt....I can probably just have that, yogurt is fine and good. And it's also not what I want.

Am I gonna just delay making any sort of decision? Probably. Is there a good chance that, out of laziness, I may just eat nothing or just have like some toast? Yes. Is any of this healthy? Nope, but here we are.

This has been 'stupid meaningless first world problems' with me, Sarah, who is using her Tumblr to basically rant into an empty void because it's better to do that than to keep all the thoughts in my head.

[mirrorball-leclerc]

paint the town red - part eleven

YOU AND ME WE'D BE A BIG CONVERSATION

series masterlist

SUMMER BREAK 2024

tony stark i expect every single one of you at the lake house for the next few weeks.

bianca stark-potts i can't. sorry dad. tony stark you can't? what do you mean you can't? you don't have work for the next few weeks. bianca stark-potts i have plans

tony stark WITH FUCKING WHO?

bianca stark-potts with my boyfriend

may parker oh how exciting! where are you going?

bianca stark-potts i'm not saying because my dad will literally track me down.

pepper potts have fun

james rhodes use protection!

harley keener and that is the sound of tony fainting. peter parker and that other sound was tony's unholy screeching.

biancastark_potts and charles_leclerc have posted new stories

amore mio (my love)

something about her looking at the view but i'm looking at her

liked by harryosborn, charles_leclerc, katebishop and others

biancastark_potts ¿qué horas son, mi corazón?

comments have been restricted by user

katebishop someone tell the winch to be gone!

samwilson WHO IS HE STARK-POTTS?

peterbparker listen, i'm not saying the old man is spiraling but the old man is spiraling

↳ biancastark_potts oh i know he is, harley is sending me a hour by hour update on him. happy is also complaining.

lilymhe it's 5:39 pm in new york!

↳ biancastark-potts thank you corazón!

yelenabelova i love knowing something stark doesn't.

tonystark WHERE ARE YOU?!

↳ biancastark_potts here, there, everywhere.

↳ tonystark THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER!

steverogers bianca, why is your father trying to track you down at the tower?

↳ biancastark_potts i'm on vacation and he wants to know where i am.

↳ tonystark SHE'S WITH A BOY STEVEN! A BOY!

↳ steverogers she's a fully grown woman anthony. not everyone is harry.

america_chavez the wicked witch of the west is here? someone tell him to fuck off

wandamaximoff having fun?

↳ biancastark_potts yeah

↳ wandamaximoff good. if someone breaks into his apartment, it wasn't us.

↳ biancastark_potts he says it's all good. it's finally clean.

joaquintorres nice apartment, it's not yours.

↳ biancastark_potts shut your trap torres.

↳ joaquintorres TELL ME WHO IT IS!!!

do you have time to talk soon?

i'm out of the country and if i was in the country, the answer would still be no.

we have nothing to talk about.

don't be like that b, i still love you.

this is exhausting. we are never ever getting back together. like ever.

did you just fucking reply with taylor swift lyrics?

i did.

and i have a boyfriend so please leave me alone.

biancastark_potts and charles_leclerc have posted new stories

told him the last one only gave me flowers on anniversaries and he said, "that is not acceptable. you should be given flowers all the time, for no reason."

🎾🎾

kate bishop where's my monegasque man to sweep me off my feet and buy me flowers for no reason??

yelena belova that is gross. who needs love? kate bishop we get it, you're allergic to love. yelena belova i just do not see the point in it. all i need is my dog and i am happy.

maria hill i have to say it, this one is so much better than the last one.

wanda maximoff have you told him about harry?

bianca stark-potts i did, we talked about. it in hungary, when he found out about him.

america chavez she's in looove. she's literally playing paddle with him

natasha romanoff who are you and what have you done to the bianca we all know? you hate sports

bianca stark-potts i don't like tennis or baseball. they're boring sports. i can enjoy soccer or football. but i hate participating in sports. bianca stark-potts he also told me, "i have to train somehow" and i knew andrea would be on my ass if this man didn't do some training

hope van dyne he bought you flowers? for no reason?

bianca stark-potts yup. he disappeared for like 20 minutes and when he came back he was holding a bouquet of tulips in his hand.

kate bishop again where's my monegasque man??

bianca stark-potts he has a brother?? kate bishop he doesn't seem like my type.

pepper potts i'm glad you're happy bianca.

bianca stark-potts thanks mom!!

bianca stark-potts by the way, he says hello!

bianca stark-potts and he said that if nat and wanda break into his apartment to knock, his brother is staying over because his apartment got flooded.

natasha romanoff but where's the fun in that?

bianca stark-potts "i'd rather not explain to my mum that my brother died of a heart attack because black widow and the scarlet witch broke into my apartment because i'm dating you" - silly vroom man

wanda maximoff we'll set off the home alarm on purpose as a warning.

bianca stark-potts "that works! thank you! and if my brother gets scared please send a picture of his face. i need new blackmail material." - silly vroom man

america chavez typical sibling move.

yelena belova HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?! YOU DON'T HAVE SIBLINGS?

america chavez I HAVE TO SHARE A FLOOR WITH ELI, KATE, AND THE OTHERS WHEN THEY'RE OVER! I LIVE A FLOOR BELOW PETER AND HARLEY! I KNOW THE WAY THAT SHIT WORKS!

george russell you dragged her into a paddle game??

charles leclerc i didn't drag her george.

alex albon he has to train somehow george. can't you see he's too busy wooing a stark-potts?

lando norris WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE NEED TO TRAIN FOR? HE'S LITERALLY 100 POINTS AHEAD OF US ALL?

carlos sainz wrong. he's 73 points ahead of me.

max verstappen is this what you guys felt with me last year?

pierre gasly 100% yuki tsnuoda absolutely oscar piastri totally. daniel ricciardo yes. max verstappen you only drove like 6 races?? daniel ricciardo i wanted to be included maxie!

pierre gasly he's in looove!!

charles leclerc shut up?

oscar piastri he bought her flowers. i saw the instagram story.

lando norris STAND UP CHARLES!!

george russell and i thought alex was the biggest simp. turns out it was charles.

logan sargeant oh come on, this guy had the worst year of his career last year, let him have this.

charles leclerc thank you logan!

max verstappen then tell him to stop flirting with me??

yuki tsunoda that is like asking me to stop loving food. it is impossible. carlos sainz no one will ever love anything as much as yuki loves food

tony stark hey, how y'all doin?

bianca stark-potts get off my dad's phone samuel.

tony stark WHO THE FUCK IS HE??

carlos sainz oh boy can't wait until they find out. tony stark TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW SAINZ!!

isaiah atkins oh my god, when will my nightmare end??

peter parker NEVER BITCH!!

charles leclerc you should've never taken the job then?

isaiah atkins yeah, you would like that wouldn't you? charles leclerc oh fuck you.

harley keener your girlfriend does that enough for you.

tony stark LECLERC HAS A GIRLFRIEND??

peter parker SINCE WHEN DOES LORD PERCEVAL HAVE A GIRLFRIEND??

harley keener have neither of you seen his stories?? he's been with a girl all break??

tony stark bianca come home! the children (america, mj, kate and me) miss you!

bianca stark-potts i literally hate you so much samuel.

sebastian vettel i can't wait until this exact text bites all of you in the ass

ollie bearman you're included seb. we ALL know.

tony stark know what?? what am i missing? arthur leclerc ignore him. he's in summer break mode still. ollie bearman your brother is literally a better liar than you.

NETHERLANDS 2024

scuderiaferrari posted new stories

WE'RE BACK PEOPLE!! I GOT CONTROL OF THE ACCOUNT AGAIN!! EVERYONE SAY HALLELUJAH!!

SPOTTED: lightning mcqueen with mater

SPOTTED: spongebob and patrick, i'll let you decide who's who.

enjoy this picture of tony because he pissed me off.

series taglist: @burningcupcakefire @spilled-coffee-cup @evans-dejong @elliegrey2803 @bingewatche @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @lorarri @ironspdy @mypage-myfandoms @be-your-coffee-pot @celesteblack08 @vellicora @enchantedthoughts @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @six-call @embrosegraves @justtprachisblog @bionic-donut @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @jamie-selwyn @cool-ultra-nerd @kami10471633 @int3rnetgf @fernandoswarcrimes @skynel09 @arieltwvdtohamflash @brekkers-whore @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @chiliwhore @nothaqks @nataliambc @jensonsonlybutton @octopussesarecool @vroomvroommuppett @ragioniera @iamapersonwholikesunicorns @sargeantdumbass @namgification @mgmoore @moonyzsworld @loloekie

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

click here to be added to the paint the town red taglist

¡leclerc-s speaks! this one's a little short, but i swear the next one will be longer. it lowkey sucks too but oh well, the next one will be better, also this serves as a reminder that yelena is canonically aroace!!!!

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[mrsparrasblog]

Girlie your brain is wrinkly 🧠 can u write kyle being in a competition against Rudy to woo reader? Only one of them will get her in the end🥺👉👈 personally I am rooting for Rudy but you decide in the end😘

Hey first of all Thank you <333333 wrinkly brain is now my favorite new word thingy. It feels criminaly wrong to let my character pick someone over Kyle but Rudy deserves everything too. Just enjoy my midnight thoughts.

He had been pining after you for six years—six terrible, long years—where you had several shitty boyfriends or were too oblivious to realize he even liked you. At this point, it was tiring for Rodolfo to love you, but how could he stop? He had never met someone like you: so eager, beautiful, loving, and funny.

He remembered the day he first met you like it was only yesterday. You were so curious and full of passion, almost more than Alejandro had. Since then, you had grown up to be one of the most essential parts of the vaqueros. If you weren’t a medic, you would have been the third in command five years ago, but saving people was just your thing.

Alejandro, Rudy, and you spent most of these five years together on duty, and even in your off time, you went to bars with them, family gatherings, and even on vacation in Cancun. And all these times, Rudy didn't have the guts to ask you out. Alejandro always told him that he should just try, the way you looked at him or how you screamed and cried as he almost died—this is love, but he didn't believe it. And you thought he saw you more like a sister than someone to love, so you both silently gave up.

When Graves' betrayal happened, you fought alongside Rudy's, Ghost's, and Soap's side. You were so happy to have the help of their captain and another Sergeant. What surprised you was that the other Sergeant, Kyle, was so attractive.

You weren’t sure how it happened, but after the great win, you were in a pub with all of them—141 & Vaqueros—sitting on Kyle's lap. You were a bit too tipsy to realize Rudy's jealous glance and Alejandro's disappointed look. All you noticed was the pretty boy whispering sweet nothings into your ear, "Such a beautiful woman. Mhm, the most beautiful girl I've seen in ages." His hot breath tickled against your ear as he slowly wrapped his lips around your neck, eliciting a moan from you, much to Rudy's annoyance. He was almost fuming, and as you noticed it, you couldn’t stop yourself from making him a bit jealous.

So, you ended up in the corner with Kyle. His hips were pressed against yours as he pulled you into a deeper kiss. His tongue fought for dominance, his hands grabbing your ass and squeezing it lightly. "I want you, Kyle."

"Want you too Doll"

It took seconds for your luck to disappear when you went to the bathroom, returning to see Rudy punching Kyle. "Leave her the fuck alone, pendejo."

"She wanted it."

"Who cares? She’s mine."

"Rodolfo, Kyle, both of you stop," you commanded, pulling Rudy by his ear outside of the shady bar of Las Almas.

"What was that?" You asked, lifting your brow in question.

"Mhm, sorry, mi amor."

"You're a childish idiot stop punching every men I give a bit of attention, and now let me fix your cheek," you said, gathering a napkin out of your bag and removing the blood from his cheek.

"I know."

"What did you mean with 'I'm yours,' Rudy?"

"Come on, don’t act like you don’t know." he rolled his eyes, he couldn't believe you were so oblivious, you should have noticed ages ago like everyone else.

"What know?"

"That I've wanted you all these years, just couldn’t stand seeing you with another idiot again."

"You're joking, right?"

"No."

"Oh, Rudy, you should have told me."

"Why?" he mumbled not seeing the point in getting rejected

And with that, you grabbed his face, and after all these years of longing, you finally had Rodolfo where you wanted him: right beside you.

"Finally" Alejandro whispered in the corner of the bar, his two best friends were finally where they belonged.

[sophistired18]

Kryk ficlet about something something nail clippings, romance, dragons, and estranged family. Pt. 1/2(?)

Let me cut your nails.

"I wanna meet your sister one day." Yaku says offhandedly as he clips Kuroo's nails on their sofa.

"What??" Kuroo jolts, moving his hand suddenly.

"Hey stop moving!" Yaku grumbles as he yanks Kuroo's hand back.

"Why did you ask that??" Kuroo asks with a mix of confusion and shock.

Yaku pauses from Kuroo's nails and lets out a sigh like it's so obvious. It's always so obvious to Yaku.

"Well, isn't it kinda like a formal standard to get to know your partner's entire family before marriage or something?" Yaku says. Like it was obvious. As if it was obvious that he was reflecting on marriage and a future with Kuroo while doing something as mundane as clipping his boyfriend's fingernails. It was obviously, obvious.

Kuroo inhales. "Yakkun. Morisuke. What the actual fuck."

"What??!" Yaku lets out defensively. Because for some reason Kuroo is the unobvious one here. "Am I wrong though?" Yaku says like he's right. He is right.

Kuroo exhales. "No, you're not wrong." Kuroo grins in a stupidly sappy way. "You're just, so unromantic."

"Excuse me? Is doing my boyfriend's manicure because he needs one, badly I might add, not the most romantic deed ever?" Yaku huffs, but his smile grows wider. "Did I need to slay a dragon to prove worthy of your love and ask for your hand, your majesty?"

"And you say I'm the drama queen." Kuroo rolls his eyes. "And honestly, you're probably one of the only people I know that could kill a dragon, so maybe yeah, that'd be very romantic of you. That'd be really hot to see now that I think about it."

"Oh so I guess I'll just find a dragon then." Yaku remarks sarcastically. "But besides that, you're avoiding my question."

"Which one? The hot dragon slaying one or the manly manicure one?" Kuroo replies with a stupid question with an equally stupid grin.

"Neither, you dumbass." Yaku gripes, before jabbing Kuroo in the side of his torso. "I'm serious. I wanna get to know your family."

"You have met my-" Kuroo starts.

"ALL of your family! Besides Kenma doesn't count." Kuroo just gives him a look. "Okay, you're right, Kenma counts, but still! You know what I mean!" Yaku finishes.

"I know.. it's just, well, it's my sister, Mori." Kuroo groans.

"Look, I know you guys aren't close, but that doesn't mean I can't meet her! I want to know this part of your life." Yaku explains. "You've met all of my family, and they love you. Don't I deserve to get to meet yours too? I'm not asking for her approval or to love me, but.. I just think it'd be nice, you know?"

"Yes, you're right." Kuroo admits. "It's just that, she wasn't really a part of my life, Yakkun. I barely know a thing about her besides the Christmas photos my mom used to send. I mean you already know how I feel about my mom, and she is well, my mom. On the otherhand, my sister?? We're like practically strangers." Kuroo huffs.

"You guys don't have to stay that way." Yaku adds.

"Mori, I can literally count on my two hands how many family dinners I've had. I can count on one hand how many family dinners I've had with her attending them." Kuroo spits.

"And I still mean what I said." Yaku spits back. "You're a grown ass man now, and she's a grown ass woman! I'm pretty sure it's not impossible for the two of you to talk to each other! Besides! For someone who's managed to connect with volleyball maniacs from all over the world that you've barely met before, I'm sure connecting with your sister is absolutely doable."

This sucks. This sucks because Kuroo knows Yaku has a point. And Kuroo knows he should stop fighting on this because it's true. He does want Yaku to meet his family. He just never really felt like he ever received any kind of approval from his sister. And for some reason, he's afraid that Yaku won't get that approval because of him. And that's not fair to Yaku. But he's also not being fair to Yaku either.

Kuroo huffs. "I'll give her a call and see when she's available."

Yaku's lips form a wide smile. "Thank you, Tetsu." Yaku sets down the nail clipper and crawls onto Kuroo's lap. "Y'know, if you weren't being such an ass about this, I might be tempted to kiss you."

"But I'm an ass about everything and you still kiss me regardless." Kuroo smirks.

"Only to shut you up, jerk."

"Then shut me up. Or I could keep goi-"

Yaku shuts him up, and Kuroo can't help but think that it's the most romantic thing.

[agust-june]

Let's talk about KIM DOYOUNG...

I just came here to say if I CATCH yall defending Doyoung out here it's blocked on fucking site. I need yall Ncitzens and Kpop stans to STAND THE FUCK UP.

Out here posting pictures of ugly ass snowmen with MCDONALDS BS. GFTOFH. I saw this yesterday but Koreaboo pissed me off and these tweets of these fucking weirdos made me mad. So imma talk about it here.

Imma post screen shots of tweets and for those of you that are clearly not assholes or not delusional, let's point and laugh.

Fuck the first tweet bc though he is not supposed to be making political statement. That's what he's doing. And I will drop that man like a trash bag into the dumpster. The SECOND TWEET FUCK KIM DOYOUNG'S FEELINGS. Fuck him what about the feelings of the Palestinian fans that he has? What about the people you are actively dying from bombs? starvation? Dehydration? What about them? Out here actively making SNOW MEN using McDonald's shit FUCK HIM. AND FUCK YOU TOO WEIRD ASS BITCH.

The first tweet here. It's not about his family or friends. Doyoung is in the public posting pictures of McDonald's snowmen. He's fucking weird. And if we find out about his family and Friends they can get the smoke too. They ain't special. The last tweet on the bottom...yall spend too much online into kpop. I need people to be educated and up-to-date in the world bc what do you mean does that country exists??? I need people to WAKE UP GO TO FUCKING SCHOOL OR GET HOBBIES OUTSIDE OF KPOP PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

We knew SM wasn't shit. We knew. Doyoung, I am not shocked he's in SM. I like to give people chances but once you fuck up you fuck up. And THIS??? Oh baby you lucky SM needs you for they check which is why I will not be supporting Doyoung and I will give you the Wendy treatment bye bitch.

Hell isn't hot enough. That's all imma say.

On that note, I want to add that as a K-pop fan and Ncitizen, I am greatly disappointed, but I am not surprised. I had a FEELING someone in NCT was gonna do this bs. For once, I was hoping to be proven wrong. But that hoes to show you... we don't know these groups. He isn't the only one supporting these companies. Other idols are, too.

Here's some links to other idols

I also want to note that I will be taking my Doyoung post down even though it had Johnny in it. I'm clutching my pearls like a southern white woman and leaving. I can't get rid of the merch I bought, especially my DoJaeJung albums, but I won't be buying anymore. I understand some of these idols are under contract. For example, New Jeans they have a contract with Coca-Cola, and they just had a meal with McDonald's. That I completely understand. But ACTIVELY spending money to McDonald's and Starbucks and posting it!?!? Nah, you gotta go. Idc who you are. I don't care you have godly teir vocals you're done. It's not that hard to TRY to do something good. I am actively avoiding Starbucks, McDonald's, actively staying up to date on what's going on in the world. It's not just Palestine. It's Congo. Sudan. Yemen. If I can do all of that work a job. Go to school. Watch One Piece (an anime that actively talks about corrupt governments, genocide, war, propaganda, etc). Kim fucking Doyoung and other kpop idols can do it too. They just don't care and want to keep rolling their checks (he probably need to with that pocket change he probably getting). I AM BEGGING yall K-pop stans who still don't get it to STAND UP. Get a life. Read a fucking book. Because yall look dumb as hell, and I'm sorry, but my EGO MY PRIDE will not allow me to be dumb and continue to turn a blind eye when I know people are dying in a genocide. And for those of you saying "well just educate the idol." Baby, there's a reason why college is for adults, and it's not a mandatory if grown adults want to make the choice to learn they'll do it. These idols are GROWN it's not my job to educate adults who are older than me, and it shouldn't be your job either, especially FOR FREE.

I hope yall have a good day today, and I hope yall stay safe out there!

[supastar-vhs]

I genuinely wanna know why a lot of people seem to like the sun and moon show cause I could not sit through one full episode of that it was the lamest, stupidest shit ever

(I watched different episodes but could not finish one of them I kept trying different ones like "ok maybe this gets better??" cause I like to give things the benefit of the doubt before a genuine critique but spoiler alert, it didn't get better)

-They miss-characterize the fuck out of the canon characters

-The vr models look goofy as hell

-The non-canon characters are so awful and feel like useless fillers (especially earth and bloodmoon, they serve minimal plot purpose)

-Earth is a black character voice acted and played by a white woman (which is pretty weird, they couldn't have casted a black woman to play a black woman?? and before anyone says "earth isn't black" look at her skin tone and hair texture now be honest with yourself)

-Lunar is basically a loli (shota??) since it's been mentioned he's the same age as Eclipse yet he's short and acts like a child

-They mis-characterized monty and moon SO BAD (and sun but it was less noticeable)

-it's vr chat which that alone is a good enough reason to not fw tsams cause vr chat is like a breeding ground for discord mods

-The plot sucks, a 12 year old could have done better than those grown adults

-also so many of the fans are so weird?? In the show sun and moon are like depicted as brothers but then people turn around and ship them, it's weird

idk if it's just me over-analyzing but I cannot be the only person that finds this show unbearable, I feel like the only reason it's popular is because sun and moon fans are really desperate for content since their time in security breach (both the game and dlc) was so limited

this is a genuine opinion I'm not trying to hate on the show (I am) but I really have nothing positive to say about it and I need to know if it's just me cause I notice so many people like this shit show and the lame ass characters for whatever reason, if you have stuff to prove anything I said wrong and I mean like genuinely explain why (not just "you're wrong 😡😡" and giving no reason) then feel free because I'm genuinely curious about the hype for tsams

[final-girl96]

Ageless Secrets Chapter Eight

4:00 A.M.

September 2023

I was woken up by the door to my apartment opening and closing. My hand slipped under the pillow and pulled my gun out. My room was blanketed in complete darkness. The only light came from the street light that cast a single stream of light through the partially closed curtains. I slowly stood from the bed and quietly made my way to the bedroom door. The hinges creaked as I opened it, making me wince. I stopped only opening it enough for me to slip out into the hallway.

I made my way down the short hallway, peaking my head around the corner to look out into the living room and kitchen. A figure stood in the kitchen at the skin, leaning on the counter. As quietly as I could I padded my way towards them. My gun was up with the safety off, ready to shoot just in case. The clor I got though the clear the person came. “Tess?!” She jumped and spun around. “Jesus, yn, what're you doing?”

I flipped the safety back on and dropped my gun to my side. “What am I doing? What the hell are you doing in my apartment?” I asked, setting the gun on the counter. I turned the lantern that sat on the table on so I could see better. Then I went to the one in the living room and turned that one on, too. “Why are you here and not at your and Jo…holy shit! What happened to your face?” She had a busted lip and a black eye. I walked into the bathroom and got the first aid kit And walked back out into the living room. “Sit down.”

“It's nothing. Just a misunderstanding. But that battery that Joel and I were supposed to be getting was fucking sold. Then the fucking fireflies blew something up and I ended up in lockup.” She flinched when I pressed a little too hard on the cut that was on her lip. “So Joel doesn't know yet and you don't want your little boyfriend seeing your face.” Tess sighed and pulled away from me and stood up. “No, Joel doesn't know. I came here first to clean up and get my thoughts together.”

“Right. Well, lock the door on your way out. I'm going back to bed.” I stood and started walking down the hallway to my room. “We're not together! He doesn't see me that way!” I rolled my eyes and kept walking until I got to my bedroom door. Before I went inside she said something else that had me freeze with my hand on the door handle. “I know how you feel about him, yn. I've known for a long time. I've seen the way you would look at him and act around him.” She paused waiting for me to deny it like she used to when I was a kid. But what use would it be to lie?

“I'm guessing you made your feelings known and he turned you down. That's why you went to Bill and Franks. Joel is and always was too old for you, yn. You're thirty-five and he's fifty-two. That's a seventeen year age gap. I mean his daughter…his daughter was a year or two younger than you.” I could feel the tears trying to break free but I refused to let them. I cleared my throat and nodded my head. “Yeah, I was young and stupid, Tess.” I turned and looked at her. “If I remember correctly you weren't much better at that age either. You were fifteen with what was it?” I tapped my finger against my chin making a show of trying to think.

“A nineteen year old boyfriend. Oh and let's not forget that Andy was almost ten years older than you. So don't lecture me on being attracted to an old man. What is it really that you don't like about me liking Joel? Is it really the age gap or is it that you like him too and don't want your little sister stealing him from you? Hmm? Is that it? Because let's face it, Theresa, at this point age doesn't really matter. Like you said, I'm thirty-five. That means I'm a grown ass adult woman who can fuck whomever she likes. Now, get out of my apartment.”

6:00 P.M.

I was relaxing on the couch reading when someone knocked on my door. I tried to ignore it. Today was supposed to be my day off and I wanted to relax. I want to sit here and finish my damn book but no, the person on the other side of the door knocked louder. “Okay! I'm coming!” I marked my page and slammed the book closed before slowly standing up. Another knock pushed my anger over the edge and I yanked the door open. “Fuck sake I said I was coming!”

Tess stood on the other side with her fist raised. “What the hell do you want?” I asked, crossing my arms. “I need you to go over to Joel's,” she said. I let out a humorless laugh and shook my head. “Absolutely not.” I went to close the door but Tess stopped it with her foot. “Please, yn, I need you to come with us.” Ibraird my eyebrow, “Come with you where?” I asked. She let out a heavy sigh and looked down at the dirty floor. “Outside the walls.”

“Are you fucking crazy? Why the fuck are you going outside the walls?” I asked. “I'll explain everything to you later but right now I need you to go to Joel's and wait for me. I need to go see someone real quick.” I didn't say anything and she looked up at me with pleading eyes. “Please. I promise I will explain everything to you.” I took in a deep breath through my nose and closed my eyes. “Let me change and get my bag in order then I'll go over.” She nodded her head and moved her foot. “Thank you. I'll be back as soon as I can.”

I closed the door and shook my head. “This better be fucking worth it.” I went to my room and changed into a pair of jeans, a tee shirt, and flannel, then pulled my boots on. I made sure I had an extra pair of clothes, extra ammo, a first aid kit, my book, a couple bottles of water, and some jerky in my bag. I grabbed my Walkman and a couple cassettes on my way out as well because if I needed to be stuck with my sister and Joel I was going to need something to block them out. Before leaving my apartment I looked around just to make sure there wasn't anything else I was forgetting before walking out of the door. I made sure the door was locked behind me and went to Joel's place just across the hall.

[cumscrotesailboat]

I finished Citrus, the "infamous" GL that i keep hearing about and as far as i've seen, its only the anime thats insanely weird. The manga is super different from the anime adaptation. There's a lot to critique with this series BUT the argument i hear saying that it caters primarily to men is not quite accurate. It was made by a sapphic woman, of which the story was inspired by a real experience she had, published by a company that caters to QUEER women. It certainly wasn't made with men in mind.

(Also, spoiler at the bottom if you have plans on reading it)

With that out of the way, the "incest" subplot of the series felt like it had little significance to the narrative of the story. The only time it was being mentioned was the Blonde MC's inner dialogue about how she can't possibly be with the Black haired MC because they're sister and that's it. At the end, their parents agreed to not get married so the two can legally be married. There was no push back on the parents or anyone they knew, it was just there. I can't tell what the author's purpose with it is. In another wlw series i read, the incest subplot was there to shut down the argument "If same-sex love is ok, then that should mean incest love is ok too bcs it doesnt affect anyone right?", but in here I can't be sure if its for drama or if its for the "spicy forbidden love awoogawooga" japanese anime fans seem to love. Personally, i think its the former. It's drama but very weak drama. I don't wanna write off the latter that fast either. Sapphic women can get weird with incest fantasies too. I personally am not into it bcs its incest, crazy take i know, but sure ig? This one I don't really care since it had such little effect on the narrative that you can just ignore it or even delude yourself with thinking it wasn't there at all and your understanding of the series would still be fine.

For the sexual assaults in the early chapters. I dont fucking know man, why did she do that? I mean, we know why, she was trying to push the Blonde MC away as seen in the letter but uhh.. 🤷🤷🤷? Sexual misconducts, harrassment, and assault just makes me feel uncomfortable so this is the one I dont like with the series at all. To give meaning to it (just bcs i dont wanna gloss over it that fast), the black haired MC did that as an impulsive act of selfishness, isolation, and fear of companionship. Early chapters has her shown as shackled by her family's legacy so she was cold and also fucked up.

Another thing are the supporting characters, there's this middle schooler that just fucking REEKS of trauma and the series just doesn't address that. It's so funny bcs you are 13 girl, don't talk as if you're in that grown up world you keep talking about. They're all great tho, even if they felt flat. One thing i keep noticing with nowadays consumption of literary is that every character has to be well-rounded, no it doesn't! its fine if the main cast are the only rounded ones! but yeah, that middle schooler has to be stopped. Please author, what the fuck is wrong with that kid😭☠️

Overall, its really not as bad as its reputation precedes it to be. Its weird yeah but not as weird as the majority of people say it to be. Its fluffy and drama and it definitely wasn't made for men. It's really whatever and only got its reputation bcs of that weird ass anime adaptation thats trying to cater to those freak ass "otakus". Saying that word makes me feel disgusted, jesus christ. I have mixed feelings if its a series I'd recommend bcs there are other series that are better but what i'm sure is its an okay read. I'm big to romance and drama and this series has that. It didn't make me cry but it made me feel tense and sad for the characters, and in my book thats a successful attempt at those genre.

My only gripe with it really is the unnecessary incest and SA, thats why its getting a low score for me. Everything else was fine

anw balls

[aemonds-little-belle]

Feelings Sold Separately

CHAPTER EIGHT (THE FRIDGE)

Modern!Aemond Targaryen x Reader

TAGS - (REPOSTED FROM AO3)

Alternate Universe - Sugar DaddySugar BabySugar Baby AUAUokay this is a whole ass story that's just one long ass brain fartliterally i am just coming up with this on the spotlow key really love it thoughSugar Baby/Sugar Daddyobviouslytalks of class issuesaemonds been hurt in the pasti think there will be some sexy stuff eventuallywait fuck i didn't mention this is a modern!aumodern!AUAlternate Universe - Modern Setting&lt;3Aemond "One-Eye" Targaryen is Bad at Feelingsstop that was recommended but so accurateI don't know how to do tagsI'm SorryI promise it's goodAnd no one diesand it's just so classically a sugar baby/ sugar daddy au it hurtsreader works at a cafe ... obviouslythis will follow a similar storyline to the show just modern and also not at allFamily Issueswait probably dom/sub vibes tooDom/subLight Dom/subclearly i don't know where this is going yetmy readers are always written fat because i am fatso keep that in mindSlow Burnit's so slowbut I think it's greatlike genuinely two idiots in lovebut they take soooo long to noticeUghI love fanfiction

NOTES - (REPOSTED FROM AO3) -

This chapter will begin to dip into the more serious side of sugar baby/sugar daddy tropes, such as talk of money being needed for more than just clothing. The last chapter, and this one too, signal a sort of change between the two characters, they've grown closer over the past day, / last a billion chapters I'm sorry I don't know why I made it slow burn! So do know the story will begin to grow now, the pace may get quicker, and Dom/Sub vibes, though very minimal, will begin to pick up. That's all! Just a little heads up! ALSO, get your glasses, some water, and a snack, they finally get into a fight ...

PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO REBLOG!

+ + + + + +

The grocery store was huge and unfamiliar, the overhead light cool and bright, a stark contrast to Y/n’s favorite little market down the road from her apartment. Plus this store had a huge selection of things she had never heard of, things she didn’t know if she even wanted to try, like the fruit some woman was holding, the colour strange, texture clearly unpleasant. “Ready?” Aemond asked, a large cart in tow.

“I don’t need that much stuff, a basket would be better.” Y/n began looking around, trying to find where they kept their baskets, though from how fancy the store was she wouldn’t be surprised if they came with a personal shopper too.

“We’re fine, come on.” Aemond said in a reassuring tone, noticing Y/n’s sudden anxious wave, her panic to make everything work perfect taking over, his hand settling on her back to comfort her. “What do you need to get?” He asked, his tone one she hadn’t had the chance to hear, the softness in it, the genuine care he was giving, it was new, but she needed it.

“Um, some bread, and crackers.” She answered quickly.

“That’s it?” He asked, confused, the last time she seemed to make this errand seem like something so long and boring Aemond wouldn’t even want to go.

“I guess maybe some juice too.” Y/n’s eyes seemed to meet every person who passed them, assessing them, making sure they weren’t doing the same to her.

“Y/n, look at me.” Aemond huffed slightly. “Are you okay?”

“Yah I’m fine.” She didn’t seem so sure. “I promise, I just want to get home, really, no big deal.” Aemond didn’t believe her, but knew he had to learn to trust her, just like she was learning with him.

+

Aemond and Y/n stood awkwardly outside her building, bags in each of their hands, though not a lot, Aemond had convinced Y/n to buy a few extra things at the grocery store. “Are you going to open the door?” He asked, looking to her, her looking away.

“I can bring them all up on my own, it's okay.” Y/n smiled, one that she didn’t mean, the gesture hardley meeting her eyes.

“That’s not going to happen, little dragon, I’m sure you're strong but your building has no elevator.” He smirked, one she would have regularly enjoyed, but not in this moment. ‘How does he even know I don’t have an elevator here?’ Y/n just took a few steps towards the main door, her key meeting the lock, the stairs only steps away.

“Just be careful, the stairs can be tricky sometimes.” She mumbled, her chest growing heavier and heavier the further they got. The third floor hallway had even dimmer lights than the last two, the doors worn, beige walls stained with time. “You can just leave the bags there.”

“Y/n!” An old lady's voice shouted.

“Hi Miss Falker.” Y/n smiled.

“Your fridge, young lady!” Miss Falker pointed to her. “I thought you got it fixed, the noise is driving me nuts.”

“I know.”

“Just.” The lady seemed to take a sudden stance of pity. “Make sure you and your Targaryen wannabe keep quiet.” And With that she walked away, a door slamming to the left, Y/n’s giggle quietly drowning the sound out.

Aemond had a stunned look on his face, his lips turned into a smile. “She’s nice.”

Y/n laughed a little louder, Aemond happy to see the slight sparkle back in her eye. “She is, sometimes. Other times she can be a little.” Y/n tilted her hand side to side.

“Why don’t I take a look at your fridge?” Aemond offered, still holding bags, not giving up his want to see her apartment.

“It’s not making a noise, I promise.” Y/n unlocked her door. “Mr Bayle lives on the other side of Miss Flaker, it’s his fridge that’s making the noise, I just don’t want there to be more drama than necessary.” She explained, still not actually opening the door. “You can go take a look at his fridge if you want?” She playfully offered. Aemond just ignored her, placing his hand over hers and turning the doorknob.

The studio apartment was small, the kitchen dated, though he enjoyed the little window ledge with a built-in bookcase under it. It was quite empty, only a few things here and there, a total of four books under the window, a couple lamps, a small plant sat beside her bed, and some t-shirts scattered on the floor, though the sun had gone down quite a bit, so everything was heavily shaded. “Um, well, yah, thank you for today.” Y/n rushed, she seemed antsy, a state Aemond didn’t wish to leave her in.

“What books do you have?” He asked pointing to the bookshelf, his head swiveling, looking for a light switch.

“Poetry by the great ..” A *click* could be heard but nothing happened, then another *click*. “The light switch is just a little finicky.” Y/n tried to explain, Aemond shook his head, finally putting two and two together, he walked towards the fridge, hearing Y/n mutter a quiet ‘Aemond’ under her breath. When the door opened he was met with empty shelves, no light, and the sound of Y/n sniffling in the background.

“Y/n” He hummed, almost angry.

“It might just be a power outage, I …” Her voice was shaky, though she tried to hold it together.

“You told me your pay at the cafe covered rent, groceries, and your utilities.” He wasn’t sure what to feel, he was angry she lied, but more mad at himself for not checking.

“It does, I promise.” She took a step back, hiding from him, herself, the goddamn fridge at this point. “It’s just, the fridge was making a weird noise and.” She paused to sniffle again. “And the guy charged me more than I could afford, I, just, it threw me off a bit that’s all.” Y/n’s shoulders collapsed in on one another, he could pay her a thousand dollars a minute and not even falter, she couldn’t even scramble an extra two hundred in time to pay her bills. She wished she could confidently think he wasn’t going to mock her, or say something mean, but she didn’t know, she had no idea how he would react. What if he thought she needed him too much? What if this was his last straw? What if she’s just too different for him? “It’s really not a big deal.” She tried to reason, her mind already pitting Aemond against her.

“Not a big deal?” Aemond shut the fridge door a little too loudly. “Little dragon, it is cold as ice in here, you have no food in the fridge, how are you even charging your phone?” Then it clicked, she ran earlier, she couldn’t call him, her phone must have died, she was in the mall stranded, with a dead phone, and he left her there, to fend on her own. “Your phone died?” He asked, his tone softer, no wonder she seemed off throughout the day. Every time something remotely related to the power came up she hid again. This morning, she cut her words off, changed the subject when she mentioned the fridge noise, her phone was dead and she couldn’t call him, causing her to face the situation again, the grocery store. “You didn’t get anything that needed to go in your fridge, you don’t have anything that needs to be cooked.” He felt his own heart racing, he knew why she didn’t tell him, it’s a vulnerable thing to tell someone you just met, but he should have known, he’s supposed to know. “How long? How long have you been living like this?”

“Four days.” Y/n barely whispered.

“You could have asked for help.” Aemond sighed.

“Could I?” Y/n cried. “I didn’t want you to look down on me, or, or be mad at me.” Tears were falling down her cheeks at this point, her chest heaving slightly. “I didn’t have a choice! My fridge needed to be fixed, sacrifices had to be made, that’s how the real world works Aemond!” She knew her words might sting, but she couldn’t stand silent as he asked her such obvious questions.

Aemond stormed out of her apartment, the door still open as he ran down the stairs, Y/n just stayed still, crying, she didn’t want him to see this, she hated herself for letting him in, yet she knew he would get here eventually, see how different they are, see how he lives in a totally different world. Suddenly all she could hear was banging from below, fist banging on a door and then yelling. “Are you the guy that runs this place?” She could hear Aemond’s voice, the idea of him yelling at the man she depended on for a roof over her head made her stomach churn, her moving to go downstairs to stop whatever was happening, move on. Aemond seemed to know she was coming. “Y/n? How much do you owe this man?” Aemond didn’t break eye contact with the man in front of him, no doubt scaring him into submission.

“Two hundred dollars.”

“Three hundred, missy.” The guy stepped to the side to point at her, like she had just thrown him under the bus. Aemond wasted no time pulling on the guy’s shirt, forcing him to stand in front of him, to look at him, in his terrifying targaryen stance, money practically dripping from him like sweat would.

“I gave you a hundred last night, Gunner!” Aemond hated the way she said it, like she had pleaded with him before, like he had tried, and probably, scammed her before, though this time she clearly had backup.

Aemond chuckled lowly, letting the man go, reaching into his suit pants and pulling out his wallet, a wad of cash in hand as he carefully, and slowly, just to prove how much money he had, ‘seriously?’,counted each bill before handing Gunner the money. “Two hundred.” Aemond spat, his hair a little messy, his shirt buttons hanging on for dear life as he heaved breaths in and out, the true picture of a deranged, ‘hot’, man willing to do anything for his girl.

Y/n began walking back up to her apartment, expecting Aemond to walk out and not turn back, a kind gesture and no goodbye. But before she could close her apartment door he walked in behind her, watching as the lights finally turned on, a small whizzing noise passing through, signaling electricity, water flowing through the pipes again. “You didn’t have to do that.” Y/n mumbled, waiting for the shoe to drop, waiting for him to walk out.

Aemond huffed. “This entire arrangement I have told you to rely on me, to let yourself need me. I don’t care how many times I have to say it again. Of course I am here to spoil you, sure, but I’m also here to keep you safe, protect you, keep you out of danger, make sure you have fucking power Y/n!” Y/n hadn’t seen him like this before, part of her shocked he had this side, the other half widely attracted to him. “That’s what’s important.” His hands were on his hips now, he looked like a mother out of breath, like he just did a zumba class, though he was really just exhausted from holding in the want, ‘need’, to punch Gunner in the face. “I am happy you let me buy you things today, shoes, clothes, some bread.” He looked at the bag full of pitiful snacks. “But this is what matters, your well being.”

“I just thought ...”

“Don’t.”

“What?”

“Don’t think next time, just ask.” ‘I will give you the world, the air from my lungs.’ “Just ask.” His words were breathy, low, and serious. “You want to make me happy? Pay me back?” ‘You don’t have to.’ She nodded her head. “You’re going to charge your phone, eat some food, and you’re going to go to sleep.” Aemond picked up the bag of food from the floor, setting it on the small island space to his right, taking out the things and laying them out nicely. “Do you have any allergies?”

“I don’t know.” She mumbled, shrugging her shoulders, she hadn’t really had the chance to go out, try the foods of the world, and see if any decided to close her throat up, and it wasn’t something she felt the need to do. “Why?”

“Because I’m going to buy you some groceries and make you some proper breakfast in the morning.” Aemond shook his head. “All you ate today was a bagel! I didn't even think to stop and pick something up.” He couldn’t help but beat himself up, he knew she wouldn’t ask for things, he knew he needed to take the lead, and yet he was struggling, and his failure was eating him from the inside out.

“I actually ate a few crackers when you were putting the cart away.” Y/n’s sassy voice, though much more diluted, rang through the room.

Aemond chuckled, looking to the ceiling. ‘Gods help me, she’s going to be the death of me. I don’t mind’. “Tomorrow you start asking for things, and tomorrow I make sure my focus is you.” He turned around to face her.

“You seemed to look at me alot for someone who wasn’t focused on me.” Y/n’s fingers were once again anxiously playing with one another, her mind still swirling.

“And you seemed to look at my hands alot for someone who wouldn’t ask to hold them.” Aemond quipped back, Y/n cracking a genuine smile, one he could never get sick of. “So do we have a deal?” He asked, Y/n nodding her head.

“Yes, I’ll start asking for things, I promise.” Y/n nodded her head, her smile still lingering. “But, Aemond, your money isn’t going to fix every problem I have, I’m not your responsibility.” She added. “You shouldn’t put all this weight on your shoulders, I’m okay, I can take care of myself, I promise.”

“You don’t have a great record of doing so, Y/n.”

She huffed. “I have made it all these years without you, Aemond, I can certainly keep going.”

“But you don’t have to.”

“And I know that now.” She explained, looking at the light above her. “But you don’t have to defend my honour.” ‘I want to.’ “I’m your sugar baby, you don’t need to turn your life upside down for me.” ‘I will anyway.’

Aemond’s heart seemed to stop, was this her setting up boundaries? Did she want him to back off? Step away? Treat her like she meant less to him? Because she didn’t, how was he supposed to get that across? She, even though it had only been four days, meant everything to him. “I know my money isn’t going to solve all your problems.” He admitted, leaning against her counter, his arms crossed against his chest, the damned, ‘gods sent’, tattoo on full display. “But I have power in political and corporate worlds, I have multiple university degrees, my family is practically royalty, and last time I checked most people find me terrifying.” He chuckled slightly. “Other than Miss Falker.” Y/n laughed with him then. “So stop thinking you have to do everything on your own, I have every base covered, I can fix anything, even your neighbors fridge if it bothers you too much.” ‘Do I sound like I’m begging?’ “So stop pushing me away.”

“We’ll see.” Y/n pretended to hold her head high, the leftover tear stains making her look of pride falter.

“We’ll see?” Aemond adjusted his arms, tightening them, his forearms flexing, Y/n trying not to stare.

“It’s a big ask, Aemond, I’m only one person.”

“I thought you wanted to change the world?” He tilted his head slightly.

“Stop bringing that up!” Y/n raised her hands in defeat. “I will try to let you help.” She bit back her desire to take the words back.

“Y/n!” Miss Falker could be heard from outside the apartment. “Get that bleach blonde boy out of here before I do it myself!”

Y/n hummed. “You interrupted her TV time.” She giggled slightly.

“Her what?”

“He’s too loud, I couldn’t hear the damn TV!” Miss Falker yelled, as if on cue.

“He’s just leaving Miss F, I promise!”

“You’re pretty enough Y/n.” She yelled back. “You could get a real Targaryen boy, you deserve one.”

Y/n looked to Aemond, who had a mixed look of amusement and pure rage lingering on his features, his hair every which way, clearly not a man to mess with, and yet Miss Falker was ripping him to shreds. “I’ll be sure to keep an eye out.”

[docholligay]

Doc how do you feel about a Harry Potter-inspired YA book that really...wait! Where are you going?

I think the real bullshit tragedy of Harry Potter is: I truly and actually can really, really love magic shit. Magic, and the limits of it, and learning how to master it, these are all things that I can genuinely love. Part of the reason that I am so angry about my own personal True Blood, Shadow and Bone*, is that I LOVE the magic system as she is set up, I love the IDEA behind it, I love that the underpinnings of how they have set it against the Not!Europe at the edge of Not!WW1 is DRIPPING WITH POSSIBILITY.

But so much of this magical school/magic user/fantasy world shit is caught up in God's Specialist Boy Chosen One narratives, which are not interesting to me, an old woman who sees the world won and lost on the back of groups and teamwork. I am no longer fantasizing about being the Chosen One, I am fantasizing about a group of talented people who can communicate and compromise JUST well enough to keep the world going, because that is a fucking adult fantasy world, let me tell you.

It's that and it's Thing One and Thing Two falling in love and that's the central piece and there is no amount of QUILTBAG or racial or cultural identities you could put on Thing One and Thing Two that would make that compelling for me. Have you noticed in my writing there's very few meet-cute, how they got together stuff? It's not just that interesting to me. I like love! Romantic and platonic both! But what matters to me are what those relationships mean to us, and what they make us do, and how they move us in tension with our other ideals. I would much rather open with Fareeha Amari, married, somehow, though she has a clear stick up her sculpted ass, and over time, we see what it is Angela sees in her, what she saw in her when they DID meet, what there IS under all of it, but all of that is SO much more fun when I already know that she has brought the same level of intensity and devotion that she does for everything from military maneuvers to a trip to the grocery store.

But I LOVE magic, especially in less-magic contexts. So for example, I really, for a time, loved the Dresden Files before it really sharply fell off even as pulp. I would ADORE a grown up magical girl story that was really an urban fantasy type. I want Minako to be 23 and trying to make rent. Part of why Shadow and Bone (GOD I AM SO FUCKING MAD ABOUT THIS I BLAME YOU JEWLET) got to me is I loved that the magic users aren't an accepted part of life, that what they do is odd and awed. I have inserted my blorbos into it, of course I have. But yes, i love when the magic is grounded in the BOREDOM of a 'real' world instead of Lorde Filip DuKazmeri of the Throne of Blood and Tears riding in from Happenstance-upon-Milquetoast on his dragon with a Slintergast** at his hip.

ANYWAY, all this to say that when Harry fucking goddamn potter came around, so much magic that is based in 'reality' became patterned after that, and I'm just, so tired of reading it, and I'm so tired of the geegaws and easy morality because fantasy wants rto either be straight Up YA or teehee adult fiction that's mostly a cover for being YA gaymance, and so fantasy and I essentially broke up in like....2009? I want to say? Maybe 2010? Sometime around there, and I rarely drive past its house to see what's going on anymore, the well is fully poisoned now.

*the really bad Netflix television show that is also not good and I recommend to no one. I will not read the books, i have suffered enough.

**sword but like, real cool looking.

[bipolarmango]

Living as a woman in men's world is such a fucking wild experience for example because:

Started dating after being cheated on and getting dumped after a rather toxic six year relationship, got sexually assaulted by a date; three different men I told about it let me knew it was my fault as I probably had led the poor guy on by a) going on a date b) being nice c) not physically fighting back and screaming

On dates guys (in their mid or late 30s) have openly criticized my looks, my makeup, my hair, my weight, my height, my style, my clothes, my basically everything like it was a normal thing (consider: "I think you'd look better if you this and that" or "you would look so much better if you would lose a bit of weight" or "Why aren't you wearing...")

Grown-ass men have gotten upset when I have refused hooking up with them after one date and blocked me OR sent me nasty messages about how I am ugly and they wouldn't have wanted anything but an easy hookup anyway and then blocked me

I got sexually assaulted AGAIN a little over a year ago again and was again told it was my fault

I told all of this to my male doctor (psychiatrist) when he suggested that I should date more to feel better and he first asked if I was serious (giving me the feeling on not believing me) and then suggested I just somehow managed to seek out the bad people (so basically putting the blame on me)

I somehow still keep thinking I need to better myself to be good enough for these idiotic little men because maybe I'm the problem?

Also would like to point out that all of them are very NORMAL AVERAGE MEN WHO WON'T WORKOUT EVERY DAY and like their good food and beer and driving their car and have by no mean the physique of a male model adonis or (as you may see) the personality of jesus

[gaykey]

I’m the shawol-somsom anon… you’re right LMAO I probably came off a little too strong and made assumptions about you. I’m on vacation and have too much free time for my own good, I’m sorry about that. Btw It doesn’t bother me that you specifically stopped supporting Key, I don’t know you and I barely use tumblr, but I remember you being one of the biggest lil freak/locket accounts on tumblr a few years ago (at least, that's how it seemed), so I got a little frustrated because I know how big accounts influence the perception of the rest of the fandom. 

But I’m not sorry about saying the whole thing feels hypocritical, I still think that. Because what I said is true, FK and Taemin are not better than Key (can’t speak on Jonghyun, Minho and Onew because I do think they try to be more sensible about social issues, and their responsibilities as idols); if I thought Key was horrible, then I’d think they’re horrible, too (disclaimer: I don’t think they are horrible). I simply don’t understand it, and you’re much older than me so it feels even more confusing how you can reconcile the idea. And I would like to have a conversation but tbh I’m a little scared to come off anon bc I don’t even know how tumblr works.

hello again.

it's cool, like, i get why you said what you said. i know i probably come across as very wishy-washy on here at times?

but in regards to key. i also don't think he (or taemin, or first or khao) is a horrible person. at all.

and i'm not saying that they haven't all done problematic stuff. i don't know for sure what fk have done or said, because i'll be so real, i haven't delved that deep. i'm just about below the surface level of being a somsom, but they're people like anyone else, so they've probably fucked up somewhere.

with key however, i was down deeeeep in that fandom lol. 16 years is a long time to be that fixated on a person. every little thing he did was on my tl and dash. maybe that's why his action in particular seem bigger to me?

and, the reason i chose to distance myself from being a lil freak particulalry, was because with key, it wasn't just a few minor instances, or little things that i could excuse so easily.

though i haven't forgotten, i forgave key & taemin for their coulourist remarks they made last year, because i felt that their apologies were genuine.

i acknowldeged shitty thing's key's done in the past, and gave him the benefit of the doubt. many times.

but truly, it felt like the past year? he's just been doing them over & over, unlike taemin, and first and khao. to my knowledge.

i can only forgive so much? and like, key is someone i did - and in many ways very much still do - admire and hold in high esteem (i know putting him on a pedestal is a ME problem, but i'm just being real about how i feel and perceived him) so, it HIT way harder.

i get why that comes across as hypocritcal - i do - but it doesn't feel like it is to me because of the continunity of his behaviour.

i don't know if you were here as i was making the decision to unstan, but it was tough. and i am older. i'm a grown ass woman, so it felt silly to be so emotional about the whole thing tbh.

also i don't want or mean to influence anyone's opinions, however i am starting to get that maybe i do in some way, because i was a pretty prominent key blog for a while???

which is why i try not to talk about him at all too much these days.

maybe i'll forgive him again, maybe he'll do something to redeem himself to me??? idk!

and anon, fr, feel free to come and talk in dms or even send me a message here off anon if you wat to talk. i promise i'm nice, and i'll keep it private if you din't want people to know your blog.

no worries either way xx

[feuqueerfire]

A Shop for Killers Live Blogging

I almost started watching My Stand-In (8 eps out) but am feeling a pull for this instead. I knew this had Lee Dong Wook when I came across it but forgot until right now when looking at the poster again haha. I'm hoping it's fun and action-packed and interesting.

Ep 1 (June 18)

that was pretty interesting intro, some guy trying to kill Jian and the woman in the house seems a danger too and maybe also the other guy who was lying down

They don't write Jian's full name in the subs even though the characters are clearly saying Jung Jian

머더헬프 = Murder Help? Mother Help? the translations say "murthehelp" but what?

so is the intro going to come up later? I don't think it said anything about "_ ago" or "_ later" when this scene started...

he's dead?! well i'd like to see his body to make sure it's not a fakeout

1 year ago

Her uncle is 1) expecting some sort of attack and preparing for it and 2) terrorizing people who wrong them/Jian

the last thing he said to her was her student number? but that was a 1 year ago, they haven't had any contact since then or what

ayo what the hell, we're getting to see the body? and it's actually him, not some other guy to pretend he died?

Is the synopsis that the uncle dies? idk why I thought her parents died, so she started living with her uncle

what does the tattoo say

oh lmfao it says murthehelp, I suppose the episode title was correct indeed

Does Bae Jeongmin know anything? or involved in any way? he's offering to clean the bathroom where Jinman died and he could be just being nice or hiding something

Comrade Lee Yonghan - name to remember?

Jeongmin found a (burner?) phone hm

drama at the funeral

Jinman was helping out everybody with money troubles in secret?

lived together for 10 years? so 1 year ago, did she move out?

aw, Jian breaking down alone at home

gun selling website behind the hose business

how many ppl are on her ass bruh

Ep 2 (June 18)

jinman's name 3 times to the sky

bro wtf did Jinman do for everybody to be hating him or seeking revenge or somethingggg? Did his enemies kill his mother and come to kill his brother and SIL?

the same burner phone a decade ago

[Linguistics] They keep using 금방, which I didn't know meant soon but that's fun. it's the syllables switched of 방금, which means just now/a moment ago. short time in the future vs past.

this guy who knows the password reminds me a bit of Wi Hajoon for some reason. I should watch a show with him soon

I've had recurring nightmares as a child and pre-teen about home invasions and such people coming to our house and having to escape like this. so proud of little Jian for escaping

who did the car hit? Jian? why'd it seem like a grown man running towards the house though, it wouldn't be Jinman, right?

this is so fucked up man, her escaping the hospital room and having to hide in the morgue in a little space beside her mother's corpse and she didn't even fully know that the parents are dead

why is he so mean to her lakjdf let's kill him, especially cuz he's the reason her parents and grandma are dead anyway

can't go one korean show without some terrible bully children

fuckkk this bringing her back to that day and getting mad that he came so late despite saying he'd be right back and finally speaking again

hm, the woman with the bob left but she's gonna be back to get caught in the fire with her and Jeongmin later

Ah, a shop for killers; he has a shop where killers can buy

is Jian Code Green?

well, they killed him and are now coming for her, so much for code green

What's up with all this? They banded together to kill Jinman, I'm assuming? And now that he's dead, they're getting rid of their codes (literally in their bodies), and going to kill his niece? Why?

Ep 3 (June 18)

damn, he's on some drugs. and he's faking it to see what Jian would do or something I guess? what are the chances he's doing it again right now by faking his death?

What was that? Does Jeongmin also have a code thing in him? or ig not since it said Error

oh, is the woman actually here to help/protect Jian? I'd noticed that she wasn't with all the men who were planning on killing Jian at the end of last ep

does this woman speak Korean with an accent?

So we aren't counting bullets with the little pistol ig

close the workshed door at least

Brother... also a helper?

Ep 4 (June 19)

damn

name to remember: Bale

oh, is that "Brother" guy the same guy? I couldn't see his face

oh, that's Pasin

Is Pasin also dead, hope not

yesss Jian Muay Thai expert

pls the karaoke guy always singing at the restaurant while watching TV -> singing on TV is so fun

The Minsook girl seems like she could do so much better than hanging out with those bully, cowardly boys (i think it's funny that she stole Jinman's watch but after getting stared down, returned it and apologized). i hope she'll show up again

Damn, Pasin ran off with people's money?

D: these cameras

Brother's working with Mihye

Oh, Jeongmin suddenly becoming bolder/harsher and stopping Brother guy from speaking... just as he's about to give more info...

Brother says to not trust Jeongmin... but Jeongmin doesn't trust Brother... I don't trust either fully

Brother says Jinman's died because of Jeongmin but he doesn't know how

Brother and Jeongmin at each other's throats and Jian's guy pointed at Jeongmin. who to trust?

why would clicking on 0404 kill them... Jeongmin...

Weapon shopping mall

Mihye does know Brother, though I assume she met him as a child

...choosing Jeongmin?

ah, I did wonder for a second whether at least Jinman wouldn't think that Jeongmin had locker her in because how would Jeongmin know where she was even at night + not go get anybody?

well, Jeongmin turning out to not be good isn't a surprise, especially the way he started behaving once Brother was here but from when I suspected him at the start + started suspecting him again in the middle of this episode, they were good at making me go like hm, perhaps he's not evil

good parallel with Jinman being like you must be responsible for your choices and Jian's decision to keep it meant she witnessed the cat's death and also her decision to trust Jeongmin over Brother resulted in her current predicament.

Jian was dumb to trust Jeongmin but people are seriously being too mean and flippant about her in the reddit on-air thread, makes me frown.

Ep 5 (June 19)

a manual labour part-time job, not website-making

he's not working on his own obviously, he's got some other people he answers to. seems like the big draw is money?

oh yeah, I'd wondered if he had somehow known about the site already when he was first "finding" it with Jian but it was a passing thought

hmmm these people who recruited Jeongmin basically, are they the ones who killed Jian's parents and grandma? And are they ones who were at Jinnam's funeral? Because those people didn't seem to be the weapons buyers who were trying to kill Jian

Damn, the other guy really just got shot in the head

I guess Jeongmin's actor cute baby face helps sell this sort of role because I think they said he was a killer in Blind or something too

cameras everywhere, including seeing Jeongmin mess around

so those people want access to murthehelp?

Naur, how could Jinman fall for a fake recording of Jian? I don't even know if she'd call for help from this like that... wouldn't it be Jeong Jinman x3? Maybe he's playing bc girl what. I think he'd at least just call her phone straight up just to see

damn that's wild, he just believed that 5 second recording and killed himself while believing that the people who supposedly kidnapped his niece would let her go if he dies? doubt it. i think he's still alive or Something bc wtf

right, so the show also knows that's way too easy...

btw where are Mihye and Brother?

oh lmfao they just left her there to fend for herself

oh yeah, I was wondering what he'd done secretly when he remodeled the house

hm, so Babylon also came? and the two teams are working together now or what?

hilarious "[the killer robot dog] is gonna steal our jobs later, you know"

this fight/shooting scene is so video game-y to me

why didn't Brother get the gun from the hallway and sneak up on the guy or something? good thing Pisan got here at the perfect time ig

We found out stuff behind Jinman's death and who's behind it but I still found this ep boring somehow...

Ep 6 (June 20)

ngl I wanna just finish this show and be done with it today so maybe I'll watch at 1.25x (I did that for the second half of ep 5 last night) unless I start Really liking it and wanna savour it

So seems like backstory is: Jinnam was doing stuff and killing people or whatever in a big team, which included Bale. Then 14 years ago he saw Bale kill a child in cold-blood because "there can't be witnesses." The killers here all seem trained and capable. He probably leaves/runs away and that's why he finally goes to his family but Bale and the people are all chasing him and killing his family and want to kill him. because of him as a witness or some other reason? I think 13 years ago Jian was living with Jinman so it makes sense ig

oh, so they were mercenaries and the mission was to take that guy to safety but Bale killed civilians.

damn, Jinman lied on the stand for Bale

Bale is scary af

Enough scantily clad women in vulnerable positions i feel ill and upset every time

is this Mihye?

ah, Bale literally saying that he'd kill all of Jinman's family and friends if he's still alive

he said he'd take out Jinman last... but Jian is still left... idk I'm just looking for clues that he's still alive somehow lmfao

ah, no more bullets to properly take out Bale but they assumed he was dead

Who is the person who's supposed to be tailing Jinman?

Bale didn't give Jinman time to Breathe, mans went back to his family and Immediately they started dropping like flies

I liked this ep, action, backstory, and answers. and also perhaps a more engaging story or maybe just the sort of story i'm more in the mood for rather than the other episodes.

Also, Lee Dongwook looked good whenever he had his hair down like toward the end of the ep when he's out of uniform and has the bandaid on his face.

Ep 7 (June 20)

is the guy who Mihye's staying with the same guy who went to save Jian but then got killed + his arm chopped off?

ohh, it must be him because I'm remembering that he also typed the answer on the phone to show Jian, right? and he uses sign language here too. though is he the one who called Jinman when his brother died? probably not

ohhh these fuckers orchestrated that murder-suicide story for Jian's parents

wait the deaf friend who I've been thinking has a nice face is named Honda here and he was also the main character in The Director Buys Me Dinner?!

so even the guy who gave the warning actually did it so that Jinman would leave and be ambushed

oh yeah, I'd wondered if the car broken down lady was actually part of the plan and seems like yeah

so not just Bale's conspiracy but entire Babylon wants Jinman dead because he lied about what happened and how Bale "died"

He needs a long-term plan... and that's why he's either not dead or died knowing exactly what was going to happen after

Aw, Pasin, Mihye, Brother, Jian all in that house

I'm liking the backstory episdoes. I liked the backstory in earlier episodes of young Jian when people were dying and how her and Jinman interacted but then I got bored of the backstories in the middle of when she was a teenager because it felt like we weren't getting scenes that needed half the episode to itself but these two episodes were interesting to see why everything was happening and the story just interested me more. Interesting use of flashbacks though because in the earlier eps, we were doing 50-50 flashbacks and current time, both in Jian's POV but now we've done 100% flashbacks in Jinman's POV.

Last ep, 1 hour left, we'll see how they wrap it up.

Ep 8 (June 20)

parallels with her hiding in her room while this fucker's out to get her

oof, Brother dead

It's really not fun to have everybody fighting and dying while Jian just stands and watches in horror even while everybody's telling her to run, thus also distracting them. either help or escape bruh

okay I defended Jian from people calling her stupid in like the ep 4 reactions or whatever but she's so frustrating now. i get she Wants To Know What Happened but just giving away her position and trying to talk to this guy is so... like he literally has a gun

dying, the way the guy was talking about and to Jeongmin before and after killing him was really funny

oh lol Brother was wearing a bulletproof vest. but on that note, what about Mihye? and also I can't believe it's seeming more and more like Jinman truly just offed himself over a fake recording like actually wtf, like he actually would not do that he can't be so stupid

okay she did it, clean bullet through the head, good job Jian

ah, so every killer came to kill them all because Babylon was offering bounty for their deaths. but what about Bale? or is he just fine w Jinman dead or thought dead or whatever

so funny, they're all like yaaas tax-free prize + sales on weaponry

thought the bus would have Jinman lol

okay, duh. ofc he's alive duh and comes right after Jian has managed to escape/survive/etc.

Kind of anticlimactic but tracks with what we've seen in the earlier eps I guess. Also, no Bale? Some people on the on-air thread said we're supposed to assume that maybe Jinman was fighting with Bale and that's why he's weak and bruised? idk.

Overall:

Interesting premise + interesting execution with all the flashbacks, especially because it was like eps 1 - 4: about half is flashbacks to Jian's childhood/growning up with Jinman/teenagehood in her POV, ep 5: Jeongmin's POV flashback for about half, eps 6 - 7: almost entirely Jinman POV flashbacks, ep 8: almost no flashbacks. I think I liked some of the early Jian's POV eps (ep 2 comes to mind) and quite enjoyed eps 6 - 7 which gave us more backstory. I do have to say the flashbacks cutting through the current action was sometimes bothersome, especially after we'd established important stuff in the first few eps and were showing stuff in the middle episodes that didn't need as much screentime, specifically Jian's teenage life. I thought ep 5 was also weak af.

I found Jinman intriguing and mysterious and understood him despite being frustrated with how he treated Jian at times. Jian I liked way more at the beginning but then started being kind of annoyed toward the end at times. Mihye was soooo cool.

It was a surprisingly funny show, especially in regard to how this is just a job for these mercenaries and killers lol

The ending was a bit anticlimactic in terms of how things were resolved + there was a bunch of important threads that were unfinished (aiming for a season 2?). I wasn't surprised by the ending but I don't know if they were aiming for that anyway, I think they knew the audience to predict it and were okay with it.

idk what to rate it, like it's fine, I liked it well enough, likely will never think about it again, but may watch season 2 if it ever airs. I guess I liked it more than Killed Paradox (I actually barely remember that show, esp the second half? nothing in my brain)

Rating: 6.5/10

[abandonedaccount1234]

I am sure people are gonna attack me for this but it needs to be said.

NOTE: I am in no way, shape, or form trying to cancel Tommy Kinnard or Lou.

I like Tommy. He's a good character.

He HOWEVER is a very flawed character. A character who has yet to have any real reckoning for what he did. Helping the crew to save the ship doesn't mean we get to just forget he was racist and misogynistic.

You don't get to just be racist, misogynistic, and honestly even homophobic, come out later in life, and use that as free pass to get away with with you did. That's not on Tommy or Lou (though he really downplayed that to a point of ICK in that cameo imo), it's on the writers. I do acknowledge this is a fictional character.

Even more of a reason as to why IT'S OKAY TO ADMIT HE'S NOT PERFECT. I want characters to be truly human. To make mistakes. To learn from their mistakes. And to say, hey, that was really shitty and I'm sorry.

I am not okay with the show just writing off the discrimination he caused because some years have passed and he's now Buck's boyfriend.

Hurt people hurt people. Yes. That does NOT excuse the behavior. Only explains it.

Past Tommy was the epitome of male white privilege and never being held accountable. Like everyone else in that station. They quite literally fostered an environment of white supremacy and I don't feel like we talk about this enough.

Present Tommy is....? Who the fuck knows because the writers haven't really let us know? They haven't let us see any real growth besides being out and being okay with woman of color now..?

This feels all to similar to growing up in a predominantly white area where people try to act progressive and like they were never once racist in their lives so no one 'cancels' them.

To never acknowledge it and to write it off like it was nothing frankly pisses me off.

Tommy has the potential to be great representation for people who have truly educated themselves and become genuine good people by learning from their mistakes and the discrimination they caused.

There is nothing wrong with saying, hey, I messed up, I made choices that directly hurt you. I will educate myself moving forward and I will be better. All I want is acknowledgement that he knows what he did was wrong.

I say all of this a woman of color myself who very much has faced similar microaggressions (and major) like Hen has.

You don't ever forget what those people said or did. Whether they've grown or changed and become a better person. That shit sticks with you for life. Every. Single. One.

I wanna like Tommy so bad but I just...can't get past this and I refuse to.

You don't get a free pass because you were in the closet or because that was what the times were like or because everyone else was doing it. There's no excuse.

Sorry not sorry 🤷🏽‍♀️

It's 2024. We can own up to our mistakes and be okay.

I think Tommy is great for Buck. I just wish people would stop acting like he's a saint who has never done anything wrong because they're in a relationship. The relationship is a historical moment for television. I don't want them to ruin it by doing what most casually racist people do, and act like it never happened.

It's okay for someone to not be perfect. It's a fictional show, you'll be okay.

There are some people genuinely attacking other people online for holding any criticism against Tommy and it's giving very-no offense-Swiftie energy. You can like Taylor as an artist and acknowledge she made a whole ass documentary about wanting to be on the right side of history and then fails to speak up for any issues that didn't directly affect her or her image or her profits. It's white feminism.

I don't know if there's a word for white feminism like behavior for white queer characters...? But that is frankly what's happening and needs to stop because it's already gone too far.

***Please be kind in any replies or you will be blocked. I have no energy to deal with people who have the emotional capacity of an almond. <3

[tafferling]

The state of this Taff

It's a struggle, ya'all.

Just before my birthday at the end of November, I learned that my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. Not a big surprise, that, considering I grew up in a household where the kitchen had a literal smoke cloud hanging in it 24/7, but. Still. Supposedly, she says, it's one of those that'll get knocked over by chemo looking at it funny, but there's another problem that's a lot more dire and immediately life-threatening: the cancer metastasized in her brain.

I spent the next few weeks scrambling to buy a car and get my dog vaccinated for rabies. See, I live in Sweden, and she lives in Austria. And I've got no one to look after my dog, meaning he's got to come with me. Therefore, car. Fast forward to the 22nd of December, and I finally start driving down.

Of course, I am going to see my mom! Yeah, she still tells me I gotta go get me a man cause I'm 40 and need to get me that husband to set me right and I am not ace, just broken and need to see myself fixed so a man'll have me yadda yadda (and the racism, let's not forget about the racism and the casual homophobia), but she's my mom, ya know?

She's had her brain surgery at that point already and was recently discharged. Everyone tells me she's doing great. She tells me she's doing great. It's just sweet that I'm coming down and so on and so forth.

Neat, right?

I even call her 10 minutes before I arrive, while taking a quick break to walk the dog near my aunt's and dad's grave. Ask her if she's got dinner for me, cause I haven't had any proper food for two days or if I should grab something on the way. She says she's got it all. Sweet.

ahahaha... WELL, I arrive there, and I find out that, no. She's not doing alright. Turns out everyone failed to mention to me that she has what basically amounts to short-term memory dementia, or whatever you like to call it. I arrive, and I find out that not only is the house barely liveable, but she's got no food (it's the 23rd, 5pm, and shops close at 6pm until the 27th), and she has no idea where anything is in the house or what she's done five minutes ago.

I dump all my shit (plus the dog) in the house and dive into the "last hour before shops close" fun (JFC, where did all those people come from) so we have stuff to eat. When I get home, it all settles in: Not only do I have a full-time job that I'll have to do while I am here (naturally), but (for the foreseeable future) I am also my mom's full-time caretaker from here on out.

She's forgotten her phone PIN since then (getting a new SIM card sent here next week). She was taking her meds wrong and missed two crucial ones. She has a radiology appointment next Tuesday and kept telling me she is being picked up by an ambulance, only for me to call her oncologist and find out that's not true, I've got to drive her (which isn't an issue, but if I hadn't called the guy to figure out her med sdsafkjasdfsa). So on. And so forth, with other highlights including her not knowing how to pay her bills, me getting screamed at cause of that, then her friend screaming at me, her fucking neighbour bringing her cigarettes and smoking in the kitchen with her (THE WOMAN HAS LUNG CANCER) and ---- :sounds of distant Taff wailing at the void:

I also got screamed at by total strangers three goddamn times already, and it's really bringing home why I left this country. Not saying everyone's an ass, but when you got grown men shouting at you for trivial shit like "waiting with your shopping cart to let a car out", "taking longer to put away your groceries cause you're fucking exhausted and can barely see straight anymore", and "going the wrong way in a shopping parking lot (NOT during rush hour, mind you, that was later on in the morning when the place was nearly empty) cause you missed the arrow and haven't been here in nearly 15 years" you just kinda-- *deflates*. Please. Stop shouting at me.

I wanna kick some rocks and mope.

Anyway. Yeah. It's rough, ya'all. And I don't usually like doing this, but this time, maybe I should: If you've ever liked any of my writing and you haven't, like, I dunno dropped a kudos or something, I'd appreciate any sort of encouragement or positivity in my life right now. Any little pick-me-up will do. 'cause I need to admit I am out of my depth, I am overwhelmed, and I have no idea what to do.

[fossilizedremorseful]

"I'm sorry she didn't handle the situation in a way that was comfortable for you." ?????!??!?!??? No, I didn't expect her to immediately confront a man in the middle of the library after I verbatim said "HEY IT ISN'T A PROBLEM YET but that man over there keeps staring me down every time I go over there to help that lady and its starting to get creepy, I'm just letting you know" because I think, I think, any other person's reaction would've been to ask more questions maybe, or hey! SINCE YOU APPARENTLY KNEW THE FUCKING GUY maybe TELL ME that that's just how he acts instead of telling him that he was making me uncomfortable and thus making a fucking scene and making him feel uncomfortable enough to leave the library??!!? Because, you know, its his fucking neighborhood, and also because, you know, if you have fucking eyes, you could see that I have bright ass orange hair, you know, really recognizable hair. So when this story gets passed around town, as these things always do, there's no way to not ID me :) which is just so fucking fun and cool. So no, I guess, maybe, I was not comfortable with how the situation was handled. I guess I was expecting, idk, maybe some tact and grace coming from the woman who's supposedly been a security guard for several years. And allegedly dealt with varying levels of conflict. Because now patrons are probably gonna be nervous to look at me like I'm a fucking celebrity who yells at people when they make eye contact. Since I fucking guess no one else in this bitchass library can use their brain. Or god forbid, communicate with me instead of immediately jumping to confrontation. Like WHY WOULD YOU NOT JUST TELL ME THAT'S NORMAL FOR HIM. I genuinely want to know what I have been doing in the last eight months that gives the impression that I would not be accommodating to that. I genuinely genuinely am staring to believe that grown ass adults just cannot handle quiet people, like maybe a 5'4 person with 0 muscle mass is so scary to talk to that you just won't tell me shit. I mean it has to be RBF right??? I am so so soooo sorry for not holding your hand and spoon feeding you social interactions, I truly thought we were adults with heads on our shoulders, that is so deeply my mistake. "We just want to make sure staff feels comfortable before anything else" hey jackass?? In what WORLD would this make a n y o n e more comfortable dude WHAT. I will take responsibility and say that I should've just kept my mouth shut and dealt with it. And you can bet your entire ass that the next time I do feel uncomfortable in that fuckass, paneled, cave of a building that I will not say a word. I would say rant over but I will be screaming about this for days.