#i may or may not make coherent sense but boy i will talk if its a subject i like.

[lycanr0t]

my dream life is honest to god being a slightly offputting but overall harmless and well liked wizard hermit who people come to for strange and wacky wisdom or riddles or to peer into a mystical orb etc but i'm otherwise left to my own devices to do weird and fucked up little projects

[fumifooms]

The autism coding of Kimblee - character analysis

Bestie that’s called masking. Also I beg to disagree you fucking suck at it lmao

Notice how he speaks of this difference of being a “heretic” in society’s mind. Not with a focus on what it is or means but with a focus on the perception of it, on the ostracization it creates, on it being created by norms and society. There is little weight given to it but it is treated as a social construct one can easily figure out and avoid because it is superficial, or formulaic. Small talk, what are the right things to say, or to reveal about oneself and when, the “test” is a formula he thinks he has mastered.

So boy! There are some things to unpack here with his character, welcome to this character analysis. This is going to be loooong. I’m autistic, and I think he’s autistic as shit based on a lot of things and moments. I do want to make a disclaimer: you should go into this with a will to humanize, but this is not to mean that I talk of him being redeemable or “a good person deep down”, no. This is an analysis for the goal to understand, and in the end that’s what most of us just wants anyways, being understood I mean. I’ll be analyzing him as a coherent and multidimensional character, not as a plot device for a story. Alas I won’t be analyzing his psychology and ideologies that much, just its ties with autism and stuff, so this isn’t a complete analysis of Kimblee as a character by any means. I’m also speaking exclusively of manga Kimblee. Most manga caps I used are from @everykimblee​, thank you for your resources!

Points:

The polite gentleman

Tone deafness

Logic and lack thereof

Malice?

Strange but strong moral code

Explosions, and stimming

Misc

Conclusion

The polite gentleman

It is oh so interesting, then, that he values his manners so much, isn’t it? He has peculiar priorities and fixations, like good manners, even as he does atrocities. We’ll talk about his tone deafness more later, but for now let’s focus on this angle a bit.

Suits, fedoras, a pure, spotless white. Symbols of the epitome of class.

As stated, he keeps his good manners even as the situation would normally have them dropped, or they are useless, and such. They are treated somewhat like how he would convictions, when he speaks of strong wills and being firm in your beliefs. Then his manners are not something he’s willing to compromise.

But still you have to ask yourself, does he maintain this persona for himself or for others? I think it may be interesting to note that this aspect of his character isn’t much seen before he goes to and leaves prison. In camp he sits like other soldiers do, very unlike how he sits in the rest of the manga, etc etc. This suggests that either manners became more important to him after his 8 years long of incarceration, or that sort of like a chameleon he adapts himself to his environment. With his awareness of being a heretic and how to play around it, allegedly in his own word, the latter is a theory with support. Both are plausible, or perhaps he’s always had a strong taste for suits and politeness and the warzone simply wasn’t a place to show that.

Regardless of him genuinely liking all of these high end tastes or not, I’m fascinated with the idea that it may have developed as a defense mechanism. People who wear suits and act respectable like he does sociologically inspire good faith, that they are, well, respectable. My theory that he doubled down on this angle after prison would be because, well, he has passed 8 years of prison doing very little and being treated with very little respect and empathy. It is not unreasonable that straight out of prison, he would want to reclaim a sense of humanity and respectability through acting out the codes of high society. But again, does he do it for his own self-esteem, or to try to convince others  that he should be respected? Few people see men in suits and imagine that they’ve been in prison once.

To be aware of being a “heretic”, and saying he knows how to pretend to be normal, Kimblee growing up has doubtlessly learned good manners and their importance in this social act and how others see you. Is his politeness genuine or forced? In the end I think it matters little, in the end it’s still as important to him regardless. I’m not going to talk about the social trauma autistic people usually experience, but I do want to reiterate that a nice suit as an instant token for passing as normal + getting charitability is something I think he’s aware of and values. His demeanor and outfit, you could say, is part of his masking.  Listen, in a college essay I studied other essays about how prom dresses are treated as a token for future success in life + social recognition. A suit as a transactional token for entry into respectable society really isn’t a social dynamic that far fetched. 

The way he speaks of masking, as this “easy formulaic test”, does make me think that this is the case, that his choices in demeanor and fashion are part of this role and that he knows what he’s doing. Indeed, if a suit is all he has to wear to be accepted, his loner attitude becoming a “serious & mysterious” aura, his strict demands becoming simply a severe no-nonsense man used to quality and who has things to do, well, the test is easy to trick. It’s all about framing. He’s still taken to it on a personal level though imo, he does speak of his suit with fondness etc etc.

His gentleman attitude might have deeper, more important and personal roots for his character than simply being a cool aesthetic or random taste, is what I’m saying.

Tone deafness

It is ironic that his manners are important to him because they are often severely lacking or misplaced. Like most things, I believe that Solf keeps his manners because they are a judge of character that is important to him, beyond it being for others’ perceptions of him. So even if inappropriate, he stays true to himself and these beliefs of his, he does not want to perform as much as he leads us to believe by saying he pretends to be normal. Though this tonedeafness then is sometimes intentional with a will not to betray his true self, I do think that often this is not the case and his tone deafness is out of genuine misunderstanding. Though very often it seems like a state of being, rather than situational awkwardness, like a disregard for reading a room instead of simply making mistakes.

For example, Armstrong letting ishvalans flee willfully through a hole in the wall, then Kimblee coming and killing them, afterward saying to Armstrong: “What a relief, if it had been anyone else you’d have been court martialed for sure”. It seems he did this genuinely to pick up his compatriot’s slack in a will to help. Is he aware that Armstrong did it willingly and it’s a thinly veiled threat not to do it again? Possible, but the other case seems equally possible, but regardless in either case his delivery and actions were still tone deaf. For example, him telling everyone in camp “do you all not like killing? Why are you all even here, you chose this.” In another example, his detached tone in most situations and amused or casual tone in life threatening situations.

He is shown to be rather perceptive on a technical level, though not so much in social situations. Below is him confronting Edward about having a sniper targeting him.

He is extremely nonchalant in serious and grave situations. It is also the inappropriate emotions he shows that are infamous to him, the thrill and glee he gets by fighting. To me these are easily explained by adrenaline and Solf being generally understimulated and leashed by his polite standards in society (though of course these are still issues he has), but to most it seems like senseless hysterical behavior.

Notably it is this tone deafness that makes him an heretic to others, what ostracizes him. He did not do worse than other veterans in Ishval, Roy and Riza were also extremely proficient killers on the field. The reasons Kimblee gives for being on the field and “doing what they gotta do” are reasonable and cool-headed, most of all he has a point in how he gives everyone a wake-up call that they chose this by becoming a soldier and that they’re all complicit. No, Kimblee is an heretic not because of these concrete things, but because he is not miserable on the field. People, both in world and readers/viewers, simply think that his emotions and attitude while killing others are misplaced for the situation. It’s his tone deafness that unsettles others. He doesn’t have the sense to at least act apologetic, unlike Roy who acts like a martyr yet still chooses to do it every day. Sure his ideologies and enjoyment of killing are disturbing and unhinged, but the tone deafness is what sells it, sells him as a villain. It is an emotional, social reaction.

He is also so, so blunt. His whole speech in Ishval to Roy & Riza is enough proof and yet he tops it on the regular. Below is his meeting with Miles:

He’s so hard to destabilize and it’s so funny. I love his three ?s. This lack of emoting is the sort of iconic autistic trait that makes people see us as emotionless inhuman creatures.

Logic and lack thereof

He is incredibly logic oriented and strangely composed most of the time; does not react to things as one would be expected to, as discussed. He loves to talk philosophy, and debates with others often, even stopping a fight to spend some time discussing with Alphonse. He often engages in hypotheticals, like when he logic’ed his way into challenging Riza that she probably held some pride in her work, or when he proposed a deal to Ed having assumed his priorities and motivations; He does not understand others through innate understanding or empathy but through logically working through what he knows of them and of the human psyche to then turn what they do into a predictable formula. (Oof shit, that hits hard and a little too close to home ngl.) Which is perhaps why he is so fond of people who have strong convictions; they are honest and upfront, they do not waver, they are easy to understand and to predict, he can understand someone like that and their internal consistency. If someone thinks Edward Elric is going to kill them, then they do not know Edward Elric.

Has an hard time understanding others’ mentalities, often encountering people who do not follow his logic which confuses him, like his Ishval speech and when Edward didn’t follow his “self-preservation” deal.

His goal for the better part of the story is to be a spectator to the “battle of wills” between homunculi and humans. You could even say that it is to assuage a curiosity. The fact that he gives no emotional stakes to a sense of belonging with humans that should innately make him want to fight for humanity makes sense as well, especially since humanity doesn’t accept him much. Myself, I scoffed when Edward said this. I have hyper-empathy, but to me there should still be a better reason than a blind sense of community to one’s species to pick a side. It might seem like the obvious reason to most, “side with the humans!”, but to me without sound reason it just seems like blind toxic patriotism, or blind faith and adherence to a cult. Kimblee’s reasoning is survival of the fittest applied to evolution, that the superior species will be the one to survive because that’s how nature works. Personally, I say side with the humans because the homunculi have senseless goals that promise destruction upon the world, but y’know, whatever. The important point here is that Kimblee fundamentally works on a logical basis. The “side with humanity!” argument without further reasoning is an emotional one, yet it is one that appeals to most. /neu He does indeed reveal he has some personal stakes in siding with the homunculi, not only because they let him do whatever he wants alchemy wise, not only because he loves fighting for survival, but also because in a double meaning with the opening excerpt of this post, should humans win then he would have to go back to a life of pretense where his “existence” is threatened.

Malice?

Another interesting thing about him is that he doesn’t say the awful things he says out of malice, neither is it the intent behind most of his actions. It’s always a twisted sense of helping, or just doing his job, or doing his victims the ritual show of respect of battling them with the full extent of his will, and remembering them. He has his own way of looking at things, of what constitutes morality that we should concern ourselves with; honesty is more important to him than compassion and hipocrisy peeves him. By killing the ishvalans that Armstrong lets flee, he “rights a fault”. Kimblee not seeing how ill-intentioned many of his actions seem certainly call back to his tone deafness, that or a blatant disregard for conformity.

Strange but strong moral code

As mentioned several times, Kimblee values a strong set of belief in someone, and this even if he personally disagrees with them. I don’t want to repeat myself too much so this section will be short but yes, then it isn’t surprising that his own code is very strong and he is very confident and unashamed of it. I don’t want to spend paragraphs deconstructing his moral code but his actions are consistent to it and he does not betray them, going to the point of bringing Pride down even in death inside of the philosopher stone because he judged Pride’s actions cowardly and hypocritical. Rigid morality is a trait of autism.

By strong, I do want to precise that I do not mean morally irreprehensible or correct, I mean internally coherent and resistant to external challenging. He is set in his beliefs.

Explosions, and stimming

Lastly but perhaps most importantly, the most iconic thing about him: the explosions.

Apparently there’s no post on here calling what Kimblee does stimming and stims headcanons so -cracks knuckles- heavy is the head with the big brain I suppose.

Understimulation is a state in which the body doesn’t get enough stimuli or sensory input to keep one invested in their surroundings and such. It can be the cause of a meltdown. I myself used to struggle a lot with it, it got easier after I got diagnosed and I understood the issue. For example, I am allowed to listen to music, usually glitchcore, while taking academic tests. Back in the time that was not the case, I used to have songs stuck on loop in my head while I did tests, often hummed them, particularly for mathematics.

Why does Kimblee even like explosions? Well, the cues he gives us is that he loves the sounds it makes, of destruction, not only of the screams it causes but the explosion itself. He calls it musical terms like symphony and calls it artful. As he says himself, it shakes his whole body to the core, and he fixates especially on its sound. That is all sensory input, to see it as music and artful is that it is pleasing to his senses as he himself expresses. Look at the way his body quivers in the aftermath and he goes unhinged and emotional. Sensory issues right there, chronically understimulated guy getting a shred of sensory satisfaction 100%. It is release to him.  Explosions are a deafening burst of loud and short noise, accompanied with intense light and heat. It is, in short, a bomb of stimuli. Explosions are a very intense sensorial experience. This is what Kimblee likes about them, even delighting in the size and length he can make his explosions achieve, making it always more and more intense. Much like his ideal lifestyle and activities of risking his life and his soul battling, explosions give him thrill and adrenaline unlike anything else. In monkey terms, boom boom scratches the brain itch.

Explosions as a stim/intense and pleasant sensory experience is actually a thing I’ve thought to explore with an oc of mine prior to watching fmaB, but that really is how I immediately interpreted Kimblee’s introductory scene. My (autistic) brother when he was a kid very often had to be driven around in a car before he’d sleep, for example. It’s a fullbody sensation of vibrations and floating, being in a car. The brain even registers the sensation as strange, which is how motion sickness happens. Babies are sensitive to stuff like that, my bro wouldn’t sleep without it because, without it, he was understimulated, not stimulated enough to be able to sleep. Rocking babies is the same kinda thing, plus the comforting aspect. Weighted blankets, too. Everyone self-regulates their sensory input, aka stims, to some degree, bouncing their leg, etc. But sensory dysregulation is a trait of autism, and severe states of understimulation and overstimulation are what makes it a neurodivergent experience. 

Screams in the stone being like lullabies to him is another sign of him having understimulation in general. At the very least, he has a strong resistance to overstimulation by, like Pride said, retaining his individuality in the overwhelming storm of souls.  ”Ah yes I am amongst an overwhelming sea of screaming souls. I love it here, it energizes me actually”

Honestly I just think it explains parts of his behavior and glee for war if he generally feels understimulated. It explains that lust for battle and destruction. Like yeah bitch you’ll feel great and manic and thrive if you get sensory bliss from the chaos and “symphony” of war, definitely. /gen 

Also, he was in prison so like who can possibly blame him for being bored af, but stimming wise I do count playing with the rock in prison. The way he rolls it in his fingers and all. Even regurgitation, that’s bound to be a moderately intense sensory experience. If he repeatedly swallows it and regurgitates the stone then that can def count as stimming. Maybe the reason he didn’t go more insane than he did is because he had the one thing to fidget with lmao. The screaming thrumming perfectly sized & smooth evil explosive rock really is a great stim toy, huh.

I get intense and off my rockers too when I’m understimulated ngl, slap happy even. 

He really does seek adrenaline and thrill. I think in the above he was getting somewhat delirious due to blood loss though. He’s definitely prone to manic states. Sure okay grandma whatever you say, let’s get you on the stretcher. 

Misc

And as my usual autistic analysis finisher: he sits weird. More seriously, analyzing sitting positions can be interesting because it’s again about understimulation. Legs crossed, arms crossed, it’s weight on your body plus feels snug idk. But personally I need to have my legs crossed at all times when I’m sitting, except in extra comfy chairs. Body language is a whooole thing to analyze with autism, because infamously people misinterpret them; for example crossing your arms is considered to be a defensive or hostile gesture, when a lot of people would just go “wtf it’s just comfy”. Insistant and direct eye contact is seen as a will to dominate, meanwhile for a lot of people they’re literally just staring thinking nothing of it. Etc. However like discussed at the beginning of this, it can be theorized that he tailors his body language to his environment, like compared to when he was on the Ishval warzone.

Conclusion

Cool motive still murder bro. Def a lot of fun neurodivergence going on in his character though.  I am obsessed with this type of autistic character, who as a survival mechanism becomes hyperaware and very logically and psychologically attuned to social norms and how people work to try to fit in and survive in the group. I am OBSESSED with autistic characters who know the game so well and try so hard yet still feel uncanny to others. Humanity is, after all, a social species. And one who does not take kindly to heresy. Definition of heresy: opinion profoundly at odds with what is generally accepted. Heretic does not intrinsically means harmful, however. Labeling something as heretic is often an emotional reaction, like say how racism or homophobia is initially from a xenophobic gut instinct, and it is an emotional reaction that makes us dislike Kimblee.

Not to say that’s the ONLY reason, of course. Kimblee is justifieably generally disliked. But as someone who values cause and effect, it is ironic to me that Kimblee is considered a worse veteran than others because he refuses to act guilty over it and does “his job” with a smile on his face, worse than Roy who boiled people alive. I find it ironic that straight out of the gate we have a sinister opinion of Kimblee because of the framing when he was in prison, of what it meant that he was in there and why he wasn’t miserable 24/7 in his cell, instead smiling and humming, and it’s all ironic because the reason he was in prison is… He killed his superior officers, who are active agents in malicious corruption and are 100x more times gleeful about the Ishval war than him. Framing is an emotional thing, and if there’s one thing Henry Creel taught me is that it’s quick to rob a character of humanity. If humanity performatively want people to be miserable, then is it so surprising for Kimblee to want to reject it?  Take my hot takes or not, I’m not interested in debating philosophy unlike Kimblee, I just wanted to showcase his autistic traits and it got a little thought provoking by nature lol. Thanks for reading! :)    Is this last emoticon tone deaf and/or uncanny? I can’t tell… Ah well!

[walkingstackofbooks]

This scene has been living rent-free in my head for a month and I have thoughts

"The word you're looking for is unnatural, meaning, not from nature... Freak, or monster, would also be acceptable." (Dr Bashir, DS9 5x16)

I'm sure it's been said before, but the FEELS of this line-

To me, it sounds like Julian's reeling off a list of things he's been told he is. In any other situation, I'd assume he'd been bullied about his enhancements with these words and internalised them; but his enhancements were secret, so that doesn't fit here.

Which then made me think these are words Julian's collected from hearing about historical enhanced figures and then bullied himself with. Whether he heard them in a lesson, or in a friend's conversation, or even took it upon himself to research views of enhanced individuals, he seems to have learnt that genetically enhanced humans are freaks and monsters, and therefore so is he.

But I also looped back to the idea of his being bullied - (and I haven't watched past this episode so there may be something later to discourage this theory) - and I don't think it's too wild a guess to make that at some point he was. He's presented in the show as someone who just can't stop talking, who doesn't get social cues, who's "annoying"...it's not exactly a stretch to imagine a kid being bullied on those grounds.

(Nor is it a stretch to take these traits, among others, and headcanon that Julian Bashir is autistic. Many have, and it makes a lot of sense. And it works its way well into my little fiction.)

So as a kid, Julian is too smart and too loud and too eager. He has special interests coming out of his ears and learns everything he can about all of them, that's just the way his brain works. (That's what the teachers tell him, anyway, when some other kids call him names. They tell him lots of children are like him.)

((I can't decide if he's told he's autistic or not. On one hand, it's a convenient excuse for his parents to hide his extraordinary smarts behind. On the other, I cannot imagine them meeting the suggestion with anything but disdain and a snide "there's nothing wrong with our Jules", seeing as they're ableist af. But I imagine at the very least - with a little research and a couple of decent teachers - he must have had his own suspicions by the time he was a teen.))

I'm digressing - I apologise, at some point these thoughts became too long and meandering to be completely coherent. Right-

Too smart and too loud, his seemingly boundless knowledge is deemed as unnatural and freakish by his classmates. (When you're 7, any knowledge greater than your own seems pretty boundless.) And of course this was upsetting, and not easily forgotten. But as you grow, you do learn that people can be mean for little reason, and that whatever others think, it's perfectly okay for your brain to work differently.

Until you learn that it's not.

And here's where Julian Bashir realises that his childhood bullies were right about him. His academic abilities are unnatural and freakish (and, he will later learn, make him a monster). Because the line between "being able to learn everything that interests you because that's how your autistic brain works" and "being able to learn everything that interests you because that's how your genetically engineered brain works" is impossible to see. (Especially if your oh-so-caring parents take away the first option because "we made your brain perfect Jules, there's nothing wrong with you".)

Boy, that was a really long way of saying imagine if Julian was bullied for being autistic but ended up believing it was because of his augments and therefore that the bullies were right.

[noiseemaster]

hi.... i am thinking about how much sweet capn nd k_k both parallel and r an antithesis of the fun gang ..... ok ? i think ......... i will mindlessly ramble . listen to me if you want . this may or may not be coherent at all . pay me no mind ok ?

they each have like,,, 1 basic trait thats described to them

okok so i think its really funny how much theyre complete fuckin opposites ( with the person they dance with ) .

kris - quiet person by susie and king

susie - mean girl by a save point

and yk . scc are energetic smooth and silly . its in their check dialogue . stated outright

ralsei - fluffy boy by a save point

energetic - quiet

smooth - fluffy

silly - mean

real interesting thing about capn and ralseis that isnt really important . . theyre both an adjective referring to a personality trait and a surface

ummm ill just go through them in sccs order . soooo,,, sweet / kris, cap / ralsei , and k_k / susie

sorry if this doesnt make sense im bad with words .

sweet / kris . . . . so much to say . mainly about sweet .

kris isnt shown to have much of a personality atleast in game ... which makes like a lot of sense considering they dont have free will for most of them . all we reaaally know is that theyre an introvert . theyre described as not being very energetic by tori, rarely ever waking up on time for school, usually sleeping through the start of class, and preferring tori drive them to school rather then walk . noelle also makes a comment about how kris isnt usually so talkative when you select the "anything" option in the hospital and as previously mentioned, theyre described as a quiet person

sweet on the other hand, is literally "the energetic one" . their movements are a lot more exaggerated and bouncier then the others, their way of speaking is a lot more upbeat then the others, and theyre the one who follows you around for ( most of ) cyber field ,,, they also have the most dialogue out of the 3 and are real passionate about their interests, being the most into the whole rebellion thing and likely being the one who started it all . they also use multiple exclamation marks in most sentences as a way of showing how enthusiastic they are about most things !!!!! this is a little small detail i noticed but.... they r also slightly off sync with the others whenever you ask them to play a song 4 you .

cap / ralsei,,,,,,, capsei shippers dee en eye you guys are weird

ough . i have so little to say about ralsei im sorry ralsei fans . ok anyways

ralsei is "the nice one" of the group i think . he tries to convince you to spare everyone, hes generally the most polite, and is maybe the tiniest bit naive in chapter 1, having to learn by the end that he cant trust everyone . even though hes nice, hes never exactly shown to be cowardly unlike most "nice" characters !!! he doesnt stand down to most enemies and is generally a lot less scared of . actual life threatening situations then a teenager should be .

cap'n on the other hand,,, is . the reason the game got a higher rating in japan because he says a statue looks like shit . capn is,,, from what ive seen, the least liked of the trio for coming off as rude in a lot of his dialogue ( hes just some guy i think ) . hes the most upfront about thinking you helped kidnap noelle, mocking you and making comments about it all throughout the first part of the game ( even trying to scam you because of it !!! ) . he also talks in a less formal way then ralsei does and makes several comments that are accidentally taken as flirty towards noelle ( hes just a little bit of a dumbass hes not a p/do . . targetted i see you freaks ) . hes basically shown to be willing to do anything if it benefits him and the others, trying to scam, trick, and appeal towards girls in an attempt to earn more money . hes also not a fan of fighting, and is reffered to as a coward by sweet for not really wanting to fight physically, even suggesting towards the start of the fight to just wait for other bad guys to come around . hes silly i love capn he reminds me of my best friend

cakes / susie .... i have so much to say about k_k you have no idea so many people get his character entirely wrong and it pisses me off . infact im breaking the pattern and starting with him because i have very little to say about susie and also fuck you

k_k is, in every way, kind of a doormat . they let people shortchange them, purposefully try and make themselves shorter to be less intimidating, and dont really wanna cause any trouble like at all . they try and make themselves sillier so they arent perceived as some sort of threat or something to be scared of ( considering theyre like 10ft tall . i did the math hes like 7 in his sprite and based on nelnals art, like 10'2 ) . hes the exact opposite of susie in every way !! k_k is tall and tries to make himself more approachable, giving you bagels for free if you dont have the money, trying to appeal to everyone by never really giving sweet or capn an answer that supports eithers argument, and just,, generally being a lot more polite then the other 2, despite the others best efforts . theyre also the first to try and cheer sweet up after they lose their battle, saying that they won because their dancing was better !!! a lot of trying to be smaller and appear as less mature likely comes from a place of anxiety,, as they only ever really speak whenever spoken to directly, try to stay on everyones good side, and have the least amount of dialogue out of the 3 by, like, 10%, most times them speaking being short, straightforward answers rather then them talking unprovoked

susie is,, kind of a smaller person trying to make herself seem bigger and scarier . she puts on a tough persona and is an asshole to most people who arent her friends, getting aggressive whenever people she perceives as threats bother her or the others and being a lot snarkier then the other 2 . towards ralsei and kris shes,, still pretty aggressive but its more in a playful way . she teases them often and is the only reason ralsei and her ever get an act option, because she points out how theyre not dumb and they can act by themselves . shes,, pretty much just any teenager with her friends

scc also think of themselves as the main characters . they make a constant attempt to act as so, trying to fight the fun gang because they think they helped the queen kidnap noelle, but in the end they just arent ,,, enough .

the fun gang r kinda just. kids who probably just wanna be kids but Cant because they kinda have this whole prophecy thing on their backs (susie and kris especially) and didnt really . choose to be the main guys .

i think,,, them being opposites is also a huge reason why scc being adults is so important to me . of course you can hc them as any age !!! but thinking of them as kids because theyre immature is,,,, boring as fuck . making them adults ties in a lot more with all of these opposites . thinking of them as adults who never really grew up would act as a sort of antithesis to the fun gang being teenagers who r growing up a little too fast and its soo... fun to play with . its fun to explore why they never matured like a lot of other people or if theyre just a little immature naturally !! theyre silly and theyre fun and theyre so entertaining to me i wanna put them under a microscope and study them ...

scc being adults who never grew up and the fun gang being teenagers who r growing up too fast is so fun to me i think . scc try so desperately to be the "main characters" . to be important . to be those guys . while the fun gang didnt even really try !!!! kris and susie just wanted to get chalk and got sucked into a huge prophecy thing in a world they didnt even know existed and i just . idk this is probably incomprehensible at this point sorry . i jusy think the fact theyre opposites is really fun and i dont think enough people notice it

tldr kris is quiet and introverted , sweet is energetic and ( likely ) loud judging from how they talk

ralsei is nice but not timid or cowardly at all, while a lot of capns dialogue is accidentally rude and hes literally called a coward ingame,

and susie tries to make herself bigger and scarier while k_k wants to be viewed as non-threatening and friendly as possible

thanks for listening to my autism rant . if you care .

[oddygaul]

The Boy and the Heron

God damn this movie is a hot mess. The pacing is all over the place; the tone is all over the place. It feels like it’s trying to be a metaphor for a dozen different things, but none of them come through particularly well, and it ends up being a big, unpolished jumble of ideas. Plus, in its eagerness to foreground those deeper themes, fundamental things like character motivations, goals, and narrative cause-and-effect are left by the wayside, leading to much of the movie feeling like a disconnected series of events with little tying them together.

I understand the desire for an artist to make something that’s solely for themselves, or to write a story with the primary goal of deeper thematic resonance; in my opinion, though, if what you're writing has gotten to the point where the basic A to B plot of your story doesn’t really make sense, I think you may have gone too far.

Now, a work that’s all subtext, no plot can work if the vibe is there - that’s pretty much the definition of a tone piece, and I fuck with a lot of tone pieces. In this case, though, I did not think the vibe was there. The tone bounces from a measured, somber meditation on grief, to a wondrous journey through a strange land, to a fast-paced goofy caper when the parakeets get involved… I didn’t feel much of a coherent tonal throughline.

Okay, so fine, the themes?

A lot of people are saying the whole movie is about Miyazaki’s struggle with leaving behind his legacy without a direct heir. While that’s a compelling idea, that subplot is introduced roughly… *checks notes* 5/6ths of the way through Boy and the Heron, so you wouldn’t exactly call the movie a very effective vessel for that message, would you?

Was it about Mahito seeing his mother again, to move on from her death? She miraculously appears but they barely talk. Is it about accepting his stepmom into his life? Well, she’s gone for half the movie. Is it about rejecting fantasy / escapism to live in the real world? Well, okay, but the stepmom is the one that went in there in the first place and Mahito hated it from the jump, so no one really changed their minds here.

Speaking of the stepmom, it’s weird as hell that Mahito’s process of accepting his dad immediately marrying his dead wife’s sister is treated like a personal journey. No, that’s a weird fucking thing to have happen to you, and you better believe a kid is gonna be fucked up about that for a while. I understand this isn’t out of the norm for the setting / time period, but it clearly bothers Mahito. I don’t see how a lonesome, magical journey to another world is the right salve for those feelings as opposed to like, a frank and open conversation with his dad.

—

Miyazaki once famously said that the problem with the modern anime industry is that no one draws from real life anymore - that character designers learn how to draw anime girls only by copying other anime girls, turning the entire industry into a grisly moe ouroboros devoid of any authenticity.

What the fuck is this, Hayao? Did you design this by looking at a real human being? Or is this a baachan based on a previous Ghibli baachan which was itself based on another Ghibli baachan? The moe ouroboros tolls for us all, Hayao. It tolls for us all.

—

Having vented those frustrations, there’s a lot of gorgeous stuff in this movie, of course.

The stepmom’s house is so neat - the modern, western-style house built straight onto the classical Japanese architecture, Winchester-mansion style.

As opaque as Mahito was to me, it’s funny as hell how aggro the kid is. It was fuckin on SIGHT with the heron, bro.

Everyone is so stoked about these birds shitting on them all the time

The world of the tower had a very different vibe to Ghibli’s classics that was pretty cool - a very Greek / Elysium feel to much of it, a place stuck between life and death.

This is the bougiest way I’ve ever seen someone drink water

these weird fucks

—

When taking the lore at face value, it’s wild how this movie is basically an Annihilation + Bloodborne lovechild. So basically an extraterrestrial meteor crashes from the sky, and begins terraforming the area around it; as it does so, it distorts not only space, but time itself. Much like the wildlife in Area X, the parakeets enter the tower and are drastically altered to serve their environment’s needs. The way the tower seems to hold onto alternate versions of people that have entered and keeps them there, stuck outside of time, is reminiscent of what happens to the Southern Reach trilogy’s research team.

And then on top of that, we have the great uncle calling Mahito’s stepmother inside the Nightmare of Mensis, excuse me, the tower, so that she can give birth inside, allowing the child to ascend and become the ruler of the realm?

Oh Amygdala, oh amygdala! Have mercy on the poor heron.

Just saying, ‘the Heron isn’t actually magic, it’s merely a lookalike biological simulacra of a heron created by the reality-warping crash-landed U.F.O.’ wasn’t on my bingo card going into this movie. lol

[laz-laz-ace-pilot]

I love the High Republic Jedi

I really need to talk about the Jedi in The High Republic because damn I can’t stop thinking about them and the contrast with the Jedi Order we know during the prequels.

I’ll try to keep this as spoiler-free (and coherent) as possible, but the central three books of Phase One of The High Republic follow the events of three ‘disasters’ that the Jedi try to assist with. It’s also a time when the Republic is expanding into the Outer Rim, and when unity is the calling card of this movement. And the Jedi respond to each of these disasters by working together – I know that sounds pretty basic written like that, but these books cover several perspectives as they come up with plan after plan to help save lives, however they can, pushing the limits of the Force together to achieve their goals.

But the Order isn’t just one monolith of thought; the series explores perspectives that we largely don’t see in the mainstream content around the Prequel Era – from newly-made Council members struggling with Coruscant priorities versus the realities of the Outer Rim, to Padawans who just want to study the galaxy, or who have to learn under new Masters when their previous one dies. New Jedi Knights who are given Padawans they’re not ready for. Jedi who question the close relationship with the Republic. Jedi who struggle with grief but don’t go on a genocidal rampage to deal with it. Jedi who go on soul-searching journeys after using the Dark Side to save lives.

It explores how Jedi interpret the Force through different lenses; some understand it as music, some visualise it as a vast ocean, some like a vast constellation of stars. How these lenses help them explore new abilities, but also how they need to look beyond that to overcome their weaknesses.

Then there are whole areas and disciplines that no longer exist in the Prequel Era – the autonomy of Jedi temples far away from the Core and the Jedi Council, raising Jedi that may never even see Coruscant. Jedi who disagree with the direction of the Council, or the Order, and strike out on their own, but remain Jedi. Wayseekers, who follow the direction of the Force above all else. Mediative retreats that can last whole lifetimes, like the Barash Vow. Shit, Yoda goes on fucking sabbatical!

And then there’s the crazy stuff that a lot of Disney Star Wars could never do. The Jedi to ex-Jedi mercenary mindmeld/ drift compatible moment that allows them to tame two dragons to ride into battle. The ancient creature capable of cutting Force Sensitives off from the Force and husking them. Yoda had a non-binary Padawan who left the Order for a hot boy they met at the circus. Autistic Jedi. Asexual Jedi. SO MANY LESBIANS.

But at the core of it all is teamwork and compassion. Even as threats escalate throughout the story, the Jedi retain their respect for life throughout, and avoid taking it where they can, mourning it when they do. And as more lives are lost and Jedi are traumatised by the events they see, they actually address this trauma and how it might affect a Jedi’s ability to keep to the Code. There are no chosen ones or super powerful Jedi that save the day; everyone pitches in what they can to help the greater effort. And its this that inspires unity within the Republic – selfless compassion for any stranger who needs them, who act together to achieve the impossible.

I don’t know if this even makes any sense but I love the High Republic Jedi so much and I absolutely recommend the series to everyone, but especially to people who only know the Jedi through Obi-Wan and Anakin and Ahsoka because it is so much more than that.

And I just know, in my heart, that if Yoda had announced to them that they had no other choice but to split up and become Generals to battalions of slave soldiers who were going to be slaughtered in their millions under the direction of an increasing corrupt Senate, they would have put him in a retirement home so fast and there wouldn’t have been a Clone War.

Just saying.

[anthenasikes]

Who is myles I want to know everything about him

THERES LIKE THREE DRAWINGS OF HIM IN THE MYLES TAG he also has a playlist somewhere which i can find if you want.

hes an ocs hes been in my brain since 2020 ? i cant do a full rant right now but like summary of him now all of the problems revolve around him but also a lot of those problems are because of him too hes definitely the kind of character thats like ME AND ONLY ME IM GOING TO FIX EVERYTHING but he kind of started a lot of these problems in the first place. and isnt aware of it. he is also an asshole. he is aware of that.

its funny bc when i first made him i just needed a random bg character so one of my other guys could have a twin and he was this random guy. with nothing about him and he was supposed to be cis and also probably be into jesse ANYYYYWAYYYSY as he is right now he hates jesse and jesse hates him and theyre both aromantic so LMAO also at some point he ended up being the Protagonist . fuck jesse ig?? no more protag rights for you. i didnt do this on purpose it just ended up that way ?????

yanno how i was talking about song's sort of white boy cousin. name is darryl. well myles and his twin (whose name is Tobi (or tobias))were like partially raised by darryl and his gfs who are carr(issa) and jolie bc carr's family friends with their family etc etc but uhhh TLDR those three were great older sibling figures but also maybe not bc they may have been generally responsible for a while but they are so emotionally messy i dont know how they were doing college things and also watching over some stupid middle schoolers. but carr does lose her shit later on about something not myles related and i think that has a big impact on myles losing his shit! darryls probably turning into plants or somethign but like whatever. who cares. darryl voice "myles there are flowers growing through my fingernails i cannot move my hand. this is an emergency bc i cant do my eyeliner. can you do my eyeliner please please" myles voice "i hate this house." he didnt ask carr to do his eyeliner bc carr is passed out with her face in a bowl of cheerios. also in the timeline where plants are a thing jolies probablty dead idk i have 1700000 versions of this world sometimes there are plants and death and sometimes its like a sitcom im ranting now help me jesus

whatever 'present' time is myles is prolly a high school sophomore or smth. hes mostly friends with song's cousin who is avery.

i have seventeen thousand different versions of what i like to call the song-and-jesse-universes so its hard to tell you one specific Plot thing or anything coherent about myles actual story shit but trust me. putting him in a timeloop actually makes total sense for the primary version of the story i was thinking about so im probbaly actually going to do that. it makes sense. it makes a lot of sense. SHIT anyways hes a pissbaby but he can be nice if he wants but not to jesse him and jesse are stuck in the same friend group but i think jesse is going to kill him in an un-fun and actually angry way someday. wahoo!1!! im not proofreading this before i post it. have a great reading-ant's-rant time <3

[metanarrates]

go off about the tree axe special boy arc speedrun

I know NOTHING about the axe because we only watched one episode this week (whatever one introduced the tree idgaf about which number it actually is) but good lord. its bad.

okay random numbered list of things because my brain has been depression deep fried lately and its easier to just throw together a list of my thoughts rather than making a coherent post:

- the pacing of this episode and this show in general is so fucking weird. we had like six episodes that were kind of nothing and now we're getting a Major Plot Development speedrun. wham, ahiru has issues about her ability to move the plot. wham, there's a secret drosselmeyer cult(?). wham, fakir's author powers (only introduced last episode mind you) are because he's drosselmeyer's descendant. wham, mytho and rue are having the exact same issues we've seen for the last six episodes. wham, there's a magic tree. wham, fakir gets absorbed by the tree. just kidding princess tutu saved him and now ahirus over her insecurity. any single one of these plot points is worthy of an entire episode but they just crammed it into one? its not good. actively makes me not give a shit about the characters anymore too, since they're now exposition machines

- I DON'T LIKE THE DROSSELMEYER CULT. now part of this is admittedly because I am a cult survivor, and the depictions of "hooded guys with secret knowledge" always bug the shit out of me. those depictions never have anything to do with actual cult life and just exist to make something feel spooky. it's cheap. but there's more to it than that.

so drosselmeyer has been in a weird place this season. s1 establishes drosselmeyer as an odd, ominous figure who stretches his fingers into the plot in subtle ways. he gave ahiru her pendant and can take away her transformative powers if it suits him. he created edel and was responsible for her demise. he can stop time when talking to ahiru. though his power over the world is quite indirect, he is still a force to be contended with. there are clear stakes to dealing with him, and he presents an effective threat to our heroes. how can you fight the author of your narrative when he is using all his power to make it a tragedy?

s2 has demoted him to "funny guy who exposits to the audience." he has almost nothing to do now that the raven is the most active antagonist. he talks. he paces in his clock world. he talks to ahiru once or twice, but he's a far less active manipulator of her than he used to be. all that really sucks, but the introduction of drosselmeyer followers completely obliterate any sense of mystery he may have had. he is no longer a shadowy untouchable force that only ahiru (barely) knows about - he is a physical entity who existed in this world, had children, and those descendants can grasp at his powers. rather than being a completely mysterious force to our characters, he suddenly has people who know all about his mortal life.

it completely punctures his sense of threat. if drosselmeyer's powers can be dissected, inherited, and replicated, what is his effectiveness as a threat? if he is a knowable entity who existed within the world of goldkrone, then what is his relationship now to that world? previously, he existed fully outside of it, which made goldkrone feel like an interestingly surreal collecting place of fairy tales, rather than a place that followed the laws of conventional reality. if drosselmeyer existed within goldkrone, and a character within the fairy tale he wrote is now reincarnated as his direct descendant, is goldkrone instead a previously normal town warped by his power? why isn't there much indication of this? how powerful is/was drosselmeyer? what is he to the world, and more importantly, what the hell is he to the narrative of princess tutu?

he no longer exists as a purely representative entity, is what I'm saying. any sense of an established world and his place outside of it has been destroyed and replaced with something WAY less well-defined to the audience. and as for his power...

-fakir being his descendant sucks.

-no, really, I don't think I need to get into all the ways it sucks. it replaces the fakir we know (guy who is a reincarnated knight from their fairy tale who doesn't wanna get killed) with a different guy with different motives (guy with a mysterious bloodline who wants to use his author powers well????) it doesn't make sense narratively. it just HANDS our heroes the power to solve the story, rather than making them work hard to earn it. it's bad and stupid and sucks. if I make an entire post about it ill just get mad with how many ways it sucks. so I'll just relate all this to the tree problem.

-the tree is almost impressively not symbolically charged. i mean, sure, you could pull some symbolism out of it. it's probably a reference to merlin being trapped in a tree. you could pull out some connection to yggdrasil, and of course it's concerned with all things being connected, which is very... tree-like. but it's not remotely connected to anything in princess tutu's themes or symbolic suites! what does it have to do with ballet, or fairy tales, or fate? hell, what the hell does it have to do with WRITING?!? that's what it's meant to be a power source for, isn't it? why?

and look, I don't like the writing plot. at all. it sucks. but if you must include something for it, the object you use to connect to its power should probably seem appropriately symbolic, right? they call people with that power "spinners" - why not a spinning wheel? that feels like it would easily slot into some fairy tale motifs. or I don't know, a magical quill or something. it would make way more sense than it being a magical tree.

a symbol exists to establish meaning. it's a way to quickly define what ideas a story is working with, and what those ideas mean in the context of a world. I know it sounds silly for me to care so much about drosselmeyer and the tree not representing anything, but it's symptomatic of a larger problem.

what are the themes now in princess tutu? why does the tree suddenly talk about "all is one" etc. as a means to hypnotize fakir? what does that have to do with anything that's been established? sure, it talks about defying fate, but at this point, I have no idea what that's supposed to mean. is fate becoming one with everything? is that what the tree's speech means?

previously, drosselmeyer worked as an effective symbol for the concept of fate, as an active personified antagonist who only wanted the characters to experience tragedy. but as discussed, he's been undermined. this new symbol has none of the necessary establishing work done to make it an effective replacement. the raven also doesn't work very well as a replacement. I have no idea what "fate" is in this story now, or precisely why it matters that our protagonists fight it.

and that's the crux of the problem with princess tutu at this point in time. nothing means anything. I don't know what the characters are supposed to be. I don't know what narrative role certain things are supposed to play. I don't understand how certain things are meant to be significant, or what the stakes are supposed to be now. what is happening now has very little to do with what has happened before, and it makes me feel as though nothing that's been established in the show really matters. I'm just watching them all hurtle towards an ending that feels unearned and uninspired.

[egginfroggin]

yet another AU

I had a thought. Never a good thing, that. Anyway.

Beautiful Decline AU, so named because I was listening to "Beautiful Decline" by Abney Park and it gave me a brainworm and now this mess exists.

Hisui isn't Sinnoh so-and-so many years in the past; it is Sinnoh centuries, if not millennia, in the future.

By this point, humanity has flown too close to the sun and gone through what is essentially the apocalypse. In the wake of humanity's fall (its decline, you could say), nature has begun to take over what remains.

Thoughts below the cut because this got long.

Paradox Pokemon exist in this era

This version of humanity could be considered Paradoxical, in that humans themselves have become part machine/AI/electronic

Few, if any, living things ever become completely inorganic and purely non-living; most everything had some small amount of life in it somewhere, from which things begin to reverse

Things are slowly beginning to revert back to their original forms; the inorganic parts of what nature has become are beginning to revert back to their organic versions

The fall of humanity is referred to as the "Decline," even though it is implied to have happened rapidly, rather than gradually

The remains of humanity live in the dilapidated ruins of civilization

They are slowly rebuilding, but they are nowhere near what they were during the games and anime and such -- the "present," we'll call it

The "present" is mainstream game era; the "future" is exactly what it sounds like, and can be used to refer specifically to the post-Decline era

Screwing with the fabric of the world at any point in the timeline will mess things up; Time is kind of important, and things can be altered no matter where in the timeline you are if you muck with it enough

I don't know exactly what's going on yet as far as conflict goes

Pokemon like Arceus, the Tao Trio, whatever Xerneas has going on, and the Forces of Nature -- Pokemon that there are only one of, and that play a role as the "embodiments" of concepts or who keep the world going as it should, such as Xerneas doing life things -- remain unchanged

As things become organic again, you have things that seem like they're caught halfway between being alive and being vastly inorganic; this is not always pleasant to look at or think too hard about

What remains of humanity are mostly caught at some point in this process of becoming organic; none are wholly organic yet, but most have external human aspects such as skin, hair, eyes, or entire limbs

Think, like, Kirby and the Forgotten Land, but make it Pokemon and make everything an amalgamation of machinery and flesh stuff

("Amalgamation of machinery and flesh stuff" sounds awful, I love it)

This is the closest thing to sci-fi that I think I have ever thought up and oh boy will this be weird to try to develop

How does the machinery come and go from living things?

I'm currently thinking of it as almost a genetic thing; as generations pass, things will become more and more organic again

And machinery could be considered some kind of virus, I guess, in that it started small and then spread until everyone had it and now it's "dying" off

Does this make sense? Who knows! I sure don't! I have no brain left at the moment, sorry

I will be talking more about this, because there is more that I want to say about it and some actual character stuff that I'd like to look at.

This really is another example of me chucking stuff at a wall in an attempt to get something coherent, though, and I am not yet at the coherent part of this development.

I'm still developing things, so this might be messy for a while, but feel free to ask anything; just don't expect the most in-depth or concrete answer. Progress pending, and all that, and I'm mostly character-focused, anyway.

Thank you for sitting through this. Drink some water. Go check out "Beautiful Decline," by Abney Park.

May y'all have a good day.

[amaranthineoceans]

Everything Weird About Deltarune!

Spoiler Warning for Undertale and Both Chapters of Deltarune! Really! I Literally Go Through Everything I Can Remember About Them!

This is a long post so get comfortable. Also note that my brain doesn't process thoughts into words very well so some of these might not be worded in the best way. :)

Deltarune. The first teaser chapter was released on October 31, 2018, and it came out of nowhere. We've all gone through this, but I'll try and go through every single painstaking detail I can remember. Feel free to reblog and add/correct things.

The weirdness begins right off the bat. The title is an anagram of UNDERTALE. We all know Toby likes to use anagrams when he wants to indirectly tell us when things are related, so it's no surprise that when you go to download DELTARUNE, it warns you that the game is designed for people who have played UNDERTALE. You think, "Cool, so it's a sequel? Or maybe a prequel? A different perspective of UNDERTALE perhaps?" You were wrong; so terribly, terribly wrong! I'll elaborate on this later.

Before you download the application, the terms of service that you must agree to beforehand reads simply and plainly, "You accept everything that will happen from now on." This detail was kinda brushed off in the beginning, because, hey, it's Toby Fox. He does weird stuff all the time. But even in the first chapter, it's apparent that the concept of choice, or more accurately, the lack of it, is a very present theme in the game. I would like to remind you that Toby has announced that there will be one ending in the game. One. I'll elaborate on this later.

The program (as in, what the game is called in your files) is named SURVEY PROGRAM. Why not just call it Deltarune like it is when you download chapter two?

The game launches you, without a title screen, without any setting adjustment options, straight into a reference to the theme of the entire franchise: the lack of choice. A strange formless voice guides you through "making a vessel", with what we know now as a fountain in the background. You have the option to make some very disturbing choices in this character creator, such as making its favorite flavor "pain" or expressing your feelings about it with options such as "fear" and "disgust." You name your "creation," tell the formless voice your name (which is different from your vessel's name) and watch as said formless voice muses over your name at an agonizing pace. It thanks you for your time and tells you that your wonderful creation, (cue music cutout and background removal) will now be discarded. "No one can choose who they are in this world." The screen slowly turns white as the voice says, "Your... name... is..."

It gets weirder. The next scene appears from the whiteness and showcases Toriel calling "Kris" out of bed. Kris' area of the room is very bare in contrast to the other side, which we later discover is Asriel's.

It's Toriel. Why is Toriel here?

Kris is kind of an anagram of Frisk (the protagonist of UNDERTALE) but without the F. I highly doubt this is a coincidence.

Speaking with Noelle is the only reason you can proceed (see what i did there?) while finding a partner in the classroom. This means you can't go through the 1st chapter without knowing who she is. Is it because of the Snowgrave route?

Ralsei is just suspicious to me. There's no way he was just waiting in that castle his whole life alone without some mental toil. So either he's insane or he wasn't alone the whole time. What happened? Is it related to how he can close his eyes and see what Susie is going through when she's apart from the party? Was he just watching everything? Is he related to the formless voice?

Susie's icon is the only one without color in the Dark World.

Jevil's fight is more difficult than Sans'.

Your actions have little consequence in the first chapter. If you choose to go genocide, the only difference in the ending is being run out of the kingdom, and this doesn't carry over to the next chapter. Again, lack of choice, people.

If at the end of chapter one, you walk around town, it's mentioned (notably by Noelle) that you're usually not this talkative. If you go to the hospital and speak with the receptionist, they mention that you used to play the piano in the corner. If you decide to attempt to play the said piano, an out-of-key bash can be heard and the receptionist comments on how you used to play beautifully. If you try this in chapter two, the result is the same. All this is confirmation that Kris is acting noticeably weird.

When you leave the Dark World and walk around town, you can find Sans. He "pretends" to recognize you, and if you tell him you recognize him, he tells you it's funny, considering that you two have never met before. He winks. I'm pretty sure he knows that the player is there.

The mention of Papyrus in both games, but the purposeful lack of him. Like he's avoiding you.

If you go upstairs while inside Asgore's flower shop, there are flowers in glass cases resembling his SOUL collection in UNDERTALE. There's a red flower.

You can't enter the church.

The clock in the storage closet shows a different time than all the others in the school.

If you go all the way south in town and into the woods, the music stops and you come across a rusty, double door is in a hill covered in crass. It's locked. If you go this way in chapter two, however, you watch a cutscene where you and susie happen to find Monster Kid from UNDERTALE (or someone resembling them) and an owl kid in front of the door. The owl kid is pressuring Monster Kid to (presumably) break inside, telling them that they don't want to be a wimp like Kris. Does this imply that Kris is connected to this strange door somehow?

The ending. You know what I'm talking about.

Did Kris actually rip out the SOUL (I say "the" because I'm not entirely sure it's Kris') and knife because they wanted to eat the pie? Did they only eat the pie because Toriel caught them?

Why did they look at the player? Are they sick of being controlled? Is that why they freaked out after the Spamton fight? (later)

Anyway, now we're at chapter two.

DELTARUNE Chapter Two was released on September 17th, 2021. 17. Entry Number 17. Sound familiar?

Asriel's part of the room is different from the last chapter. I don't think this means anything sinister, but I think it means Kris notices different things about the room as the story progresses. My theory is that it will become more sinister in each chapter.

Ralsei getting super excited to see Susie and Kris after a day. As in he has separation anxiety and it breaks my heart. not anything suspicious but it makes me sad so it's on the list.

Kris and Susie's rooms. Ralsei REALLY doesn't want them to leave. Seriously get this boy a therapist. Or a stuffed animal. SOMETHING.

Kris having to gather everything from the storage closet so that people appear in the Dark World????? Why??????????????? They had to do the same thing for the computer lab too.

The golden door. I don't trust it.

How/why the heck did Noelle and Berdley go into the Computer Lab Dark World? I don't see either of them just walking into pulsing void doors without Susie.

Apparently the knight has been gone for a bit and can corrupt people's minds? The king in the first chapter doesn't seem like he can be redeemed but Queen just seems,,, not bad, but a little crazy. I wonder what happened.

Then again, name ONE person in this franchise without trauma.

Spamton.

Horror doesn't bother me. Spamton? Spamton bothers me.

SPAMTON. ENOUGH SAID.

A Kromer is a type of hat invented in the '70s. Nobody named Mike is associated with it, that I can find.

SPAMPTON. HOW DO I EVEN DESCRIBE IT.

HIS SONG IS THE ONLY ONE WITH WORDS.

The way he asks Kris is they want to be a heart on a chain their whole life. Like, dude, no wonder they were screaming after the fight.

WHERE DID THE YELLOW HEART COME FROM. YELLOW MEANS JUSTICE. WHY DOES JUSTICE APPLY.

Kris screaming after the fight and the player not being able to hear it. Don't you dare tell me that's just how the game is designed. There are sound effects characters make throughout the game. None that I can think of apply to Kris, apart from when they rip their soul out.

Ralsei brushing off the Spamton fight. Either that's his coping mechanism or he was trying to shut Susie and Kris up to protect them from... something. I'll touch on that in a minute.

According to Queen, DETERMINATION is a key factor in creating a fountain.

Also according to Queen, Kris, Noelle, and Susie all have DETERMINATION SOULS.

Ralsei freaking out about Berdley making a fountain implies that he may also have DETERMINATION. Why I'm bringing all this up will make sense soon.

How was Noelle able to cast Snowgrave... a spell that she, according to her, didn't know?

The Snowgrave route is so twisted.

You manipulate Noelle into killing Berdley and then, when you get back to the computer lab and investigate his corpse, the text box says that he doesn't seem to be awake. As if you're in denial?

Burgerpants recognizes you. Not Kris. As in the player.

The ending. I don't think I need to describe it. Kris is very methodical without the SOUL. (I say "the" because, again, I'm not 100% convinced it's theirs.) I'm saying this about how they left clues that someone broke into the This proves that they are NOT a mindless, vengeful husk.

HOW DID THEY MAKE THE FOUNTAIN WITHOUT THE SOUL INSIDE OF THEM. DID THEY FEED THE SOUL TO IT AFTERWARDS? IS THAT WHAT THAT WAS?

Another point I would like to make is my theory that Ralsei knows much more than he would have us believe. I might put this into a different post because I have yet to gather my points into a coherent bullet point list, so keep an eye out for that.

Anyway apart from Toriel and Susie being VERY heavy sleepers, I think I've gone through everything. I have a few theories.

1. Kris is possessed by the player and figured out that they could make a fountain from Queen and related to Spamton freaking out about freedom. They then decided to make a fountain going by the logic that "this would tick the player off." This is one of my top theories that assumes that the SOUL is theirs.

And 2. Kris is possessed by both the player and the knight. I think the formless voice at the very beginning of the game is the knight, and they somehow needed the player to possess someone with DETERMINATION. If so, then why Kris? We know from Queen that Noelle and Susie, and maybe even Berdley also have DETERMINATION. The most plausible thing I can think of is the fact that human souls are stronger than monster ones.

I do think that the popular theory (about the one that suggests that the Dark Word is nothing but a figment of a child's imagination, and the events that occur in said Dark World are simply children playing with toys) has been thoroughly dashed due to Berdley's murder in the genocide route of the second chapter. Unless he's not dead. Regardless, how the events (or lack thereof) that occur in the second chapter play through the next will be interesting, especially considering Toby's announcement about how there will be one ending to the game. So either Berdley isn't dead, or he will be.

Aaaand I think that's it! Sorry for the long post; let me know your thoughts and if I missed anything!

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

talking abt wigfrid and critisism but the further you go the less coherent it becomes. no i will NOT simplify it. read my flop analysis boy.

Something very interesting about Wigfrid that I don't really see in characterizations a lot is the concept of her having... I don't really know what to call it. Not 'a thinner skin', but I suppose the concept of her being wary of how people perceive her.

A lot of interpretations of Wig that I see tend not to go beyond the surface of her persona, that being a confident and overzealous warrior. And to an extent, that is what she is. But I also feel as though it's very important to her character to consider how she got to embracing that persona the way she has to begin with.

'Wigfrid' the actress- whoever she may have been- was clearly incredibly concerned with how she was perceived by others... Most of them being complete strangers to her- people who she'll never meet or get to know, who will never know her in turn. Hell, the opinions of those strangers were the driving force to her accepting Maxwell's deal to begin with! Yes, she wanted her popularity back, but were it not for the people who tore her down with their words alone, she never would have lost it to begin with!

I think the snake motif in Curtain Calls was a very interesting choice for Klei, if only because to me it feels deliberate. The giant serpent she fought within her fantasies manifested itself from her newspapers... The term 'snake' is frequently used to describe individuals who are deceitful and dishonest. To me it doesn't really feel like a coincidence that- of all the beasts, that is the one they choose. A creature who's very title is a double meaning, used to represent the critics who so viciously tear her down, fangs dripping with venomous lies that she can only fight against within the safety of her mind.

"Oh, Savvy-" I can hear you cry, "-Savvy, I think you're reaching a little bit here". Normally I would be inclined to agree. Very frequently I find myself grasping for straws to prop up Klei's otherwise sparse characterizations. However, if the snakes = liars = critics theory isn't enough on its own, I would also like to remind you of what happens after Wigfrid defeats the snake in Curtain Calls. She falls back into reality at the sound of a disembodied voice, and from the newspapers manifests a silhouette of Maxwell. A direct parallel to her fantasy, the news has yet again taken the image of a 'snake'... Of a deceiver. To me, that seems incredibly intentional.

NOT TO MENTION that if the theory is true that MAXWELL MADE UP THE NEWSPAPERS TO BEGIN WITH in an attempt to emotionally manipulate her, then the snake metaphor would make EVEN MORE SENSE because he is LITERALLY making himself tangible out of HIS OWN lies. but i'm NOT GETTING INTO THAT RABBIT HOLE right now because i'm ALREADY DIGRESSING!!!!!

So, now that we can ALL AGREE that Wigfrid's hatred of snakes stems from a bit of self projecting, we can bring up Wigfrid's current, in game hatred of snakes, and perhaps draw a couple of conclusions about how criticism may be effecting her now, as opposed to how it was pre-Constant:

Her unabashed hatred is visibly obvious. She goes about engaging with snakes in a VERY unique way she does the rest of her quarry. She takes great pleasure in their destruction, and goes so far as to label them her enemies, specifically. I looked it up, and as far as I can glean this wouldn't be a pre-establised trait of her persona. This vitriolic snake hatred is entirely stemming from the person underneath.

So. With the context we previously gathered that implies that maybe the reason she sees snakes in such a way is due to the fact that they are practically synonymous with critics and 'liars' to her, I can safely conclude that. um. No, I really do not think she has grown any more of a hide against criticism than she had before accepting Maxwell's deal.

Wigfrid's hatred of snakes was a big part of her character from even before Curtain Calls (obviously, bc shipwreck released way before her refresh did), but I feel like them taking this specific facet of her character- one that's lesser known from her, buried behind her more stereotypical motifs- and adding such important context to it was a intentional act. I refuse to think otherwise.

Even outside of the whole. Snake Thing I spent two hours describing, though. To me it still seems plausible for Wigfrid to act all tough, but take insults very poorly. Yes, in a prideful sort of way- where she feels the need to actively defend herself and her 'honor'- but also just in a... regular way. I don't think it'd show up much in the Constant because. i mean, there's more important things for the survivors to do. but i really do feel like scathing insults would bite her more than someone would expect it to.

Also I just think it would be funny and help flesh out her nuance. Is that a crime. To want to give my girl some nuance. Is that a sin.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I finally got to play the Ghost Marriage event and all I can think of was: 👏Brides👏maid👏Raven-San👏 throws the bouquet of flowers to distract Eliza!(may or may not hit someone in the face with the bouquet) Catch’s the bouquet at the end of it!

I even made fanart:

I hope you had fun playing Ghost Marriage (or “The Phantom Bride”, as EN calls it! ^^

dbjssbjendnd I do wonder what Miss Raven’s up to while the ghosts are taking over campus and preparing for the wedding… Probably trapped in some office filing incidence reports to document what’s been happening, and praying that no one dies because imagine having to explain that to then parents/guardians.

Maybe when Crowley’s getting desperate he yanks her out and says she should infiltrate as a bridesmaid and change out the regular ring for the ring of severance 😂 “… I’d obviously stick out like a sore thumb, being the only non-ghost in the wedding entourage.” “We won’t know until you try!!” Maybe her vignettes can be about singing to the local birds to convince them to help her make her bridesmaid outfit, since Sam said in the event he was all out of stock for wedding items. Then when she crashes the wedding, everyone’s surprised she’s there at all but Raven just complains that she’s overworked and she has to stop this wedding because otherwise the Shroud family might sue NRC into the dirt and that would just be a legal nightmare for her to help the headmaster deal with…

jdjsvsiwkwhdh Maybe she can team up with Ace and talk some sense into Eliza, since Raven understands both sides: the young and naively optimistic love that Eliza has hope in, and the more realistic kind of love that Ace speaks of; the kind of love where your partner isn’t perfect, but is willing to be a work in progress with you. Raven has experienced both kinds, so I think she’d have a lot to say on the matter. Or maybe she just smacks some ghosts around and tells the boys off for making more trouble for her to clean up 🧼 She throws the bouquet at the end and it smacks [redacted] in the face… Use your imagination to insert any character of your choosing into the redacted part 😂

I sketched my own concept for Bridesmaid Raven @w@ but I was half awake while doing it, so the design’s kinda sloppy and could be more coherent 💦 but I figured I’d share anyway! Since a bridesmaid usually complements what the bride wears, I wanted a blue dress with white and gold accents to contrast Eliza’s mostly white outfit with some greys. The clothing also borrows from part of Eliza’s own sleeves, the flowers in her veil, and how the hem of her gown transitions into something floaty.

I think your version is different, but it has its own charm. It definitely has more of a “Raven” than an “Eliza” inspiration, especially with the short gloves, feathered sleeves, and the shorter skirt. I like the addition of the headband to replace her usual hat; her head looks a little empty without an accessory there, huh? djvsjensksev I’m not sure if I entirely understand why Raven is crying in the second image, but at least she’s being comforted sooo 🤔

I just want to quickly advise! 💦 Please ask in advance if it’s okay to create a piece of media with your OC interacting with someone else’s! Not everyone may be comfortable with a person they don’t know that well making their OC(s) engage with (likely) an OC that they also don’t know that well 😅 It’s just something to keep in mind for the future!

[pale-silver-comb]

So I know absolutely nothing about Leverage except what I've been seeing you post lately and I have to admit you're making it look tempting to watch! Can I ask what are some of your favorite things about the show/reasons you would suggest people watch it? And is there really a poly relationship that is canon?

Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I am going to do my best not to just “asdfghkjl” at you and answer coherently.

In a nutshell, Leverage is about 5 people. 4 are criminals (Parker, Hardison, Eliot and Sophie) with different and unique skill-sets and 1 is an ex-insurance investigator (Nate) who, at one point or another in his career, has tracked down (or at least attempted to) the other 4. The whole show is essentially: man reluctantly reforms 4 criminals to use their criminal powers for good and 4 criminals move into man’s life and stubbornly refuse to leave because, goddammit, now they have morals. 

I’ve got a lot of favourite things about the show but the main ones are as follows:

1. Found family. And I’m not talking about loners who come together to fight crime and happen to co-exist to the point where they realise they happen to have found themselves a family. I mean, Nate and Sophie are the Drunk Uncle and Wine Aunt who somehow become Mom and Dad to 3 beautiful criminal children. Mom and Dad love their criminal babies and the kids love them (as well as each other, but we’ll come to that in a moment). You get amazing family moments such as: Mom and Dad packing the kids lunch before sending them out to kick corporate greed’s ass; Mom and Dad giving the kids ridiculously expensive and personal Christmas presents causing their most Grumpy Kid to go very very quiet and soft as he runs off to gleefully play with his new murder toy; the kids interrupting Mom and Dad’s big Movie Style Kiss to ask if they can please keep their new underground layer and huffing and puffing when Dad tells them no.

2. Found family: the OT3 edition. To answer your question, the OT3 is indeed canon, confirmed by the creator. Now, usually, “confirmed by the creator” infuriates me because most of the time it’s a way for a creator to be seen as “progressive” without doing anything to actually be progressive. That isn’t the case here. The OT3 are built up carefully and while it is obvious the creators didn’t originally intend for all 3 of them to become a relationship in the romantic sense, by mid-season 5 we are given a very clear picture of where Parker, Hardison and Eliot are heading in their relationship. There aren’t any kisses at the end to signal this but there are solid marriage vows in not only one but two episodes. (And by marriage vows I mean literal equivalents of marriage vows: “for better or worse” and “’til death do us part”. I’m not even exaggerating). The OT3 also doesn’t need explicit romantic narratives to convey how much they love each other. Their love is laced through the whole show, from the way they teach each other things to the way they respond to each other and work as a unit. The way they fiercely protect and admire each other. Like someone once said, if you need characters to kiss or say I love you to let the audience know they love each other, you are writing them wrong. 

Aside from that, each of the parings in the OT3 are just. Gah. They are so well done, with friendship being the solid basis for them all. The creators never expect the audience to assume anything about them or fill in the gaps. They give us their relationships on screen and reference many things off-screen to show us how these relationships continue to build in between episodes.

Hardison and Parker are a canon couple and date in the show: it’s approached slowly and they are so goddamned sweet. They are basically every fluffy slow-burn trope with a healthy dash of mutual pining in the mix. They are basically that quote “love is patient, love is kind”. (I would like to add their romance never becomes the focus of the show or overrides the importance of any other relationship they have with the other characters, especially Eliot.)

Hardison and Eliot are the Old Married Couple and from day one are already bickering and looking at each other/making comments that are found in every UST fic ever (not to mention Hardison has a very good knack for making Eliot grin like a little kid, when usually he’s basically an Angry Little Chef Man). They argue, they play, and love each other plain as day. 

Parker and Eliot are more subtle but every bit as wonderful. They have an unspoken connection and understand each other on a level no-one else can. Parker and Eliot are not good with giving themselves over to affection for different reasons (and Hardison plays a central role in helping them realise it’s okay to want it and have it- that boy has endless patience) but there is something so beautiful in the way the two of them come together on their own and develop their own special bond that works for them. Parker and Eliot are that trope where the characters don’t need to speak to understand each other perfectly. They just do. Their love language is a lot of the time non-verbal but speaks volumes. (Parker also likes to annoy the hell out of Eliot and Eliot....just.....lets...her. Because he’s soft. The softest, grumpiest boy.) 

I could go into so much depth for each pairing and their dynamics as a 3 but that's for another post.

3. Subverting stereotypes. There is the occasional hiccup in the show regarding stereotypes but ultimately, Leverage gets an A+ when it comes to writing characters and making them 3 dimensional people who are not defined by certain characteristics or events. Nate could so easily fall into the White Man Pain trope where he uses the trauma of losing his kid as a reason as to why he is entitled to act like a dick. Nate is a dick but he doesn’t use his pain to excuse it and I appreciate that. Hardison is a black man who is soft and nurturing. Easily the most empathetic and patient of the group. He’s nerdy, an actual genius, and has the biggest heart of all the characters. Nate is maybe the glue but Hardison is definitely the heart. Media’s usual aggressive, amongst other, racist stereotypes can fuck right off. Parker is canonically autistic (I am sure this was confirmed by one of the creators) and she is not defined by it. It’s not written as some kind of singular personality trait. It’s part of what makes up Parker but it’s only one facet of who she is and not once is her actions, thoughts or feelings treated like a joke. Sometimes people don’t understand why she does and says the things she does but it’s met with patience and fondness over the course of the show. Equally, it’s not met with over-caution. Parker is just Parker. No-one tries to change her. The other nice thing is Hardison, who always makes sure Parker knows she’s amazing because of who she is and not in spite of it. Finally, Sophie is in her 40s. She’s not treated like she’s past her prime. Ever. She’s sexy, smart and never is she pitted against or compared to Parker (who is younger) for anything. Sophie is amazing and there’s never even a conversation of “I may be older but I am still *insert adjective typically associated with younger women here*”. Sophie is possibly the first female character I’ve ever seen who isn’t just unapologetic about her age but has never had to apologise for her age. It’s a non-issue and that’s that. The women on the show are written so well, right down to secondary characters and it’s beyond refreshing.  

4.) It’s just fun. The show has a “monster of the week” type format. Except instead of a ghoul or a ghost, the monster is some corrupt wealthy and powerful individual or organisation. The show draws on real-life individuals to do this and therefore closely parallels real-life people and events. It addresses important political, economical, social and environmental issues while at the same time remaining fun and light-hearted. The characters constantly get the chance to play dress up and by GOD do they have fun with it. You get to watch Eliot beat up bad guys in the most delightful of ways, usually after a witty non-sequitur and with a weapon you’d never think could be a weapon. The dialogue and back and forth between the characters is everything. And finally - my favourite thing- the team can never resist striking a dramatic pose after they’ve taken down the bad guy, making sure the bad guy sees them. I mean, they COULD just walk away, satisfied they’ve taken the person down, but nope. They gotta be dramatic bitches 24/7 and pose like they are models for every single month of this year’s Criminal Calendar.  

5.) Competence Porn. So. Much. Competence Porn.  

Honestly, I could list a thousand reasons for why Leverage is amazing but to list them would to be spoiling so many amazing moments you’d get to discover for the first time on your own if you do choose to watch it. It’s the kind of show you can watch with an eagle-eye and sink your teeth into. But it’s also the kind of show if, you would prefer, put on in the background for something entertaining while you do something else. Each episode is about the job at hand but it’s made up of so many moments between the characters that show how much the creators and writers care about them. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll do whatever it is you do when something Soft and Wonderful happens that makes your heart melt. I am so beyond grateful for Leverage. It’s everything I always wanted in a show. Nearly every show I’ve watched in the past 10 years has disappointed me in some way, usually either because the writers run out of steam or characters who I love are treated poorly or given some kind of unnecessary “shock value” arc. Leverage doesn’t do that. Leverage is what it says on the bottle. Fandom isn’t something I joined because I needed canon fix-its. Fandom only enhances and celebrates an already excellent canon. 

[blahkugo]

𝟖 ༒ 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲 𝔰𝔥𝔞𝔩𝔱 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔞𝔩

⤷ dirty valentine m.list

⤷ complete hq m.list

atsumu miya — bondage

a/n: rc is bratty, atsumu is bratty, he/she/we are bratty. it’s basically enemies to lovers but they’re already fucking dating (aka my dream relationship)

wc: 1.4k

cw: bratty switch!tsumu, bondage (silk scarf), rough sex, begging, face slapping, degradation

Atsumu, in and of himself, is a challenge. Since you met the rowdy bleached blonde, every moment has been riddled with confrontation and provocation, spite and acts of defiance—clear cut attempts to prove one thing he believes wholeheartedly: in every sense of the word, he is better than you.

It’s a fucking marvel that the two of you are dating now.

“You’re a bitch,” he spits, all bark and no bite, sweat already beading atop his forehead.

“Did you say tighter? I can do that.” You knot the silk scarf around his wrists, tugging a bit harder just to see the scowl he wears so well spread across his face. The objective isn’t pain, but a reaction.

You want nothing more than to see him riled up, to push the loud mouthed bastard past his breaking point, until his curses become pleas and his only coherent thought is release. Tough as he may be, he always looks the prettiest when he snaps—a teary-eyed mess whimpering for a freedom only you can provide him.

But it’s far too soon for any of that; once the restraint is secured, he’s running his mouth all over again. Be it a smug click of his teeth or foul curses, Atsumu tries every possible tactic to talk his way out of knots and in between your legs.

“Not sure why you’re even trying,” he baits, “we both know you want me to fuck you senseless.”

“Baby,” you sigh, running a manicured finger up his bare thigh and reveling in the shiver it evokes, “I’d gag you if I wasn’t about to make you beg.”

“Over my dead bod–” He cuts off all at once, letting out a sharp inhale, teeth gritted, the moment your hand wraps around the head of his cock. His thighs tense, shuddering as you pump his cock, once, twice—making sure to stroke at the spot that makes him see stars—before promptly letting go.

“You were saying?” You can’t help the soft laugh that escapes you, the power you feel surging through you at the thought of leaving Atsumu speechless. The disappointment on his face is palpable, glassy eyes and upturned brows saying everything he refuses to. But a sullen stare is not enough; you want him completely bewitched, want to hear the pleas of a man under a divine spell, one only Hecate herself could muster.

Your taunt seems to snap him out of his daze, resurges the disobedience you know so well. His mouth sets in a hard line, his hands straining against their confines once again. When he looks at you, the contempt is palpable, flows through the air like his own attempt at black magic.

But what’s a mere human to the divine?

“I could leave you here until you learn how to act right,” you begin shifting away, grazing his muscled thighs as you move. Once you situate yourself in front of him, you begin slowly stripping off what little lingerie you’re wearing. First, your bra. You rub at your skin, make sure to exaggerate the parting of your lips—the breathy sigh that leaves you—as you circle your exposed nipples.

When you remove the skimpy little piece of lace you call panties, the real show begins. “Or I could let you fuck me.” You spread your legs, revealing your slick cunt in all its glory. Atsumu’s gasp pierces the air, the widening of his eyes and swipe of his tongue across his lip making you grin. “I need you, ‘tsumu,” you find yourself baiting as you ghost a single finger across your slit.

“So untie me,” he asserts, a wolffish grin plastered across his face, “let me take care of you, princess.” Even with the smug declaration, his eyes don’t leave your heat, don’t dare to look you in the eyes when heaven lies down below.

You don’t respond, don’t care to drag out this little game of dominance any longer, choosing instead to crawl over and answer with a peck to his chest. Soon, you’re moving downwards, kissing and sucking his chest, his well-sculpted abs, following the path of soft brown hair that leads to his cock. All the while, Atsumu stares hungrily, believing his smooth talking has reaped some sort of deserved gratification.

When you reach his dick, hard and throbbing with need, you wrap your lips around the head and get to work. With every lick of your tongue against the underside or moan around his member, Atsumu stiffens, attempting to rut his hips into your mouth despite the restraints.

And this is the true nature of your spell, to lull him into a false sense of superiority, make him think he’s won—that his power over you can be validated with a few simple words and a flash of pearly whites—when in reality, this is the beginning of your victory.

When you feel him approaching the edge, chest heaving, low groans and curses muttered beneath his chest, you stop.

“What the f-fuck, no!” He wriggles against the lace scarf, desperately trying to push his cock back into your wet hole.

“Beg.” Your command is simple, should be easy enough for the wanton blonde to follow, but he hesitates. Stubborn bastard. Still, you can see him starting to bend—can see it in blown out pupils and quivering lip, his death grip on the headboard. Just a little more.

You clamber on top of him, hands stroking at his soft cheeks, and grind against him. “Tell me how badly you want me,” you tweak at a nipple, moaning when your clit brushes his cock, “be a good boy and beg for me.”

And like the magic chant of a spell, it’s that simple praise that breaks him.

“Please.” The word comes out rushed, embarrassed, especially when he repeats it. But it’s enough for you to sink down onto him, groaning at the welcomed stretch.

Once he’s inside your warm walls, the shame seems to dissipate. Over and over again, Atsumu prays and pleads, until your Achilles of a boyfriend is reduced to a mess of whimpers and tears—a mortal in your celestial realm.

The power is delicious, intoxicating even, but you can’t say you aren’t enjoying the sex too. Every slap of your thighs against his sends you reeling, his own desperate thrusts meeting your bounces and causing his cock to settle deep inside of you. Soon, you’re lost in the pleasure, unable to keep your voice muffled.

“Fuck– God yes, ‘tsumu,” you choke out amongst his symphony of groans, scratching red into his broad chest. The room is ablaze with sweat and heat, glossy eyes, bitten lips and the sweet sound of skin against skin. It’s almost too much, his dick pounding against your cervix over and over again.

So when he asks, no– commands, you to ‘fucking untie him,’ you do.

In seconds, your back is slammed into the mattress and your legs are pressed far above your head. Atsumu thrusts into you like he’s starved, grabbing at any skin he can—thumbing your clit, hands roaming your waist—as if he’s doing it simply to prove he can.

“You’re just a fucking brat on a power trip,” he stresses between grunts, “but we both know you like to be fucked ‘till you’re crying.” All you can do is garble and choke, a pitiable response unfit for such a divine being. But attempting anything more is a fruitless endeavor when his hand presses bruises into you, when his cock doesn’t let up, when his fingers slide against your bundle of nerves and make you keen with desire.

Once Atsumu starts running his mouth, he doesn’t know when to stop. “Who fucks you this good, huh?” When you don’t answer, he slaps your cheek roughly, a sting that makes your head spin. “Answer,” he demands, “or you won’t cum.”

And so you do, crying out strings of his name and his name only—the humble offering of an unworthy devotee. It becomes incoherent, as garbled and twisted as the coil in your gut as you approach your high. Atsumu is cruel, unrelenting in chasing his orgasm; your own is simply a bonus.

After all, what’s a minor divinity to the god of war?

[baeddel]

speaking of trans boys. re: this post: it’s funnily enough been picked up by people i would typically consider my enemies, who tag it with #transandrophobia #transmisandry. you’ll laugh, but perhaps they’re right to tag it that way. if we have to be a theorist of transandrophobia lets at least try and do so seriously.

it’s worth reading the replies to that post from my friends. i may overemphasize the differences between the US and the UK in that post. one of the examples i use, Abigail Shrier’s Irreversible Damage, was actually published in the US and not the UK (by the far-right Regnery Publishing, built on the Regnery fortune one of the heirs to which uses his wealth to fund the activities of the white supremacist National Policy Institute and the Charles Martel Society; how do you like them apples?). but i still think it is the case, correct me if i’m wrong, that TERFs have enjoyed the most success at legal reform in the US pursuing a transmisogynist scaremongering agenda about potential predators, and that TERFs have enjoyed the most success at legal reform in the UK pursuing a #TransgenderTrend moral panic centered around the dangers posed to young cafabs (the two other major areas worth considering apart from legal reform would be medical reform and public attitudes; we wouldn’t be surprised to find the same trend in those areas, but we would also not be surprised to find a different trend).

anyway, the analysis i make about reproductive futurity (where transmascs themselves embody the Child as victims of transgender ideology who must be rescued, their fertility restored) is i think vulnerable to the same criticism made in this post. where sybil says “TERFs view you as a misguided corrupted victim”, and the rest, fig (sybil’s interlocutor) responds that what they are describing “are v much white transmasc experiences” and that black and brown transmascs are instead treated by white women “as threats, due to the intersecting views on manhood/masculinity and race.”

sybil accepts this argument and i accepted it at the time because it makes intuitive sense; this corresponds to how i understand racism to work. but i don’t really like accepting arguments on intuition like this because competing narratives would convince me equally based on the same principles. look at it this way: if we wanted to apply fig’s argument to my post we would say that transmascs of colour cannot embody the Child in this way because white women protray men of colour (even, people of colour quite generally) as dangerous, masculine, predatory, etc. we would bring up a number of examples to prove this, such as the role of ‘masculinity’ in the repressively reconstrued diagnostic criteria of schizophrenia applied to black male radicals in the 60s, the many instances where news writers refer to black 16 year old victims of police shootings as “men”, and so forth. we have a coherent story that people of colour are denied any notion of childhood and are seen to possess a sort of inaliable masculinity.

however, we could also tell the opposite story. there are many discourses where black and brown people figure as Children par excellence. i can’t find it now (frustrating!) but there is a very demonstrative old painting: it has a white woman who is meant to represent Europe nursing several children of colour (one for each ‘race’, as they saw it). this metaphor of mother Europe and her dependant colonies was very common (eg. here {warning: obscenely racist image}; common enough to be mocked in László Moholy-Nagy’s 1925 collage Mother Europe Cares for Her Colonies). further, the notion of the ‘childhood of man’ implicit in discourses about savages and primitives, important to liberal humanist evolutionism, became more than merely a discourse when deployed in eg. the reserve schools of America and Canada and the missionary schools of French Polynesia which sought to save native Children from their own indigineity—this in fact very much resembles our narrative about transmascs and their perverse salvation. in our conversation about this dev reminded me that people conflate “the capacity for self-infantilism and the use of infantilism as a means of social control.” one remembers what Eldridge Cleaver had to say about what he called the emasculation of black men, to such an extent that he analogized black men in America to court eunuchs (this is perhaps the only feature of his thought that stayed with him throughout his transition from black muslim to revolutionary communist to conservative fundamentalist).

you can see how i now have two competing stories that i might find intuitively convincing. both have historical analogues. i don’t want to arbitrarily decide one is the right version over the other without seeing good evidence and hearing good arguments. but even if i did, i should remain mindful that one might predominate in some discourses, might predominate in certain epochs, but may easily become its opposite under different conditions. if it can i’d like to know how, if it can’t i’d like to know why. in any case, it’s significant to me that personally i have never seen TERFs talk about cafabs of colour. of course they aren’t likely to talk about it to me, but this seems to be something that they acknowledge themselves (in a paraliptic way). Shrier confines her discussion to “(mostly white) girls,” by girls meaning trans men, who previously would have “[fallen] prey to anorexia and bulimia or multiple personality disorder“ (citation needed???). i can already imagine the sort of paper you could write about this parenthetical suggestion, (mostly white).

[odysseys-end]

A typical monday morning

- brought to you by the sexy trinity that Yoimiya has to manage almost everyday.

"Good morning guys!" Yoimiya slammed the door to their dorm room with a tremendous bang! that shook the frames hanging on the wall. Venti took a calm sip from his cup of ginger tea as she flounced into the room with the energy of a crackling firework. Xiao groaned loudly, slumping forward onto the table, probably unable to gather up the energy to deal with Kazuha's peppy manager. 

Venti's dressed casually today, with a simple pale green t-shirt thrown over a pair of white leggings, with his front hair loose from its usual braid. Beside him, Xiao had on a black form-fitting sleeveless shirt tucked into cargo pants. His eyeliner had smudged on his face, a result from scrubbing his face, and his dark hair disheveled. 

"Good morning, Yoi." Venti smiled demurely. He placed his mug down on the table, shooting Xiao an apologetic grin when the latter flinches from the sound it made. He shot Venti a glare softened by the sleep in his eyes.

He looked more like a disgruntled kitten than intimidating, which Xiao must have gleaned from whatever expression he had on his face because the glare intensified before Xiao buried his face in his arms. 

"Oh, you really got your work cut out for you, Venti." Yoimiya pats his arm in sympathy. In the time he spent exchanging eye contact with Xiao, the woman had pulled out a chair and taken a seat beside him. Venti giggles nervously, mentally conjuring up methods on how to persuade Xiao to complete his schedule for the day. 

"He's gotten worse." He says blandly. Yoimiya smiles, a knowing glint in her irises when she glances at the deflated lump of clothes resting on the table.

Xiao grunts. 

"I'm not going to apologize later on, just so you know." Venti says loudly. Though the three of them know full well that the moment Xiao is coherent enough to hold a decent conversation, Venti would fall over himself to apologize. Yoimiya just shakes her head, already accustomed to this sort of thing happening.  

Venti passes her a mug from the stand, a pale yellow one with a maple leaf signature on the bottom– Kazuha's. She takes it from him either way, already standing up to go take the coffee from inside the cabinets behind them. She may be cheerful early in the morning, but nothing beats caring for idols who seem to have no sense of direction or safety. 

"Where's the kettle?" Yoimiya asked a minute later after rummaging through the bottom shelves. She glances over her shoulder at Venti who returned back to nursing his tea.

"I think I put it back on the stove." Venti answers her belatedly, and only when Yoimiya tapped him on the shoulder. He hears a disbelieving sigh come out of her mouth, followed by the sound of a palm connecting with skin.

She moves towards the water dispense, filling it up before returning back to the stove. 

Yoimiya twists the dial to turn it on, shaking her head repeatedly and talking lowly. "I really can't believe I didn't see that. It was right in front of me too." She leaned against the countertop, waiting for the water to boil. "By the way, are Aether and Kazuha up yet?" 

Venti makes a noise of dissent. He jabs a finger at Aether's room, rolling his eyes. "He slammed the door on my face when I tried to get him to eat breakfast, saying how he'll only leave if Albedo gets here. I'm suspecting he's doing this on purpose because we are all aware that Albedo arrives 5 minutes before departure, and everything turns into a hussle." 

"But Aether is probably dressed in there. Makeup and all, I swear, that boy is going to make his stylists and makeup artists lose their jobs with how often he dresses up." Yoimiya points out. "Though, I wonder… I did hear some things that before Albedo came, Aether didn't actually need a manager. He listens well to you, even though you're Xiao's." 

"That's because Aether is a menace." 

They both turn to see Xiao rubbing the sleep out of his narrowed topaz eyes. He appeared more awake now, like his attention was caught by the topic they're having. 

"He's nice, yes, I acknowledge that. But he can be worse than Venti." Xiao dodges the slap Venti is aiming at his shoulder. 

"Take that back!"

"No, you don't want to apologize to me either." Xiao argued in a tired voice. He slumped back in his seat, an expression of extreme disinterest settling on his countenance. One that Venti is overly familiar with when the idol wants him to give up. He crosses his arms and gave him the harshest grimace he could muster. 

"You're being childish, Xiao."

"The pot calling the kettle black." Came Xiao's immediate response. Yoimiya is saved from their future banter when the kettle whistles loudly, effectively cutting off their argument before it could manifest into something Aether and Kazuha entertained themselves with on the daily. 

"Ah! A cup of coffee never hurts to start off the day!" She quips happily.