#i may not like gabriel that much but

[abbybubbls]

Local idiot spotted

[divinemachina]

doodles based on @friedri-ce 's Gabriel and V1 designs

[appallinnballin]

I would die to see Gabriel ultrakill in your art style..

o shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! first art of da year

[thisisntreaver]

Thinking once more about the chain of events of fable and how if William had been able to destroy his mask Jack wouldn't have attacked Oakvale and the hero of oakvale and Theresa could have had normal lives. Theresa never would have butted in Lucien could have had a chance to grieve healthily and he wouldn't have killed Rose and Sparrow wouldn't have spent their entire early life on a quest for vengeance that wouldn't sooth the hurt. The darkness would never have entered Albion and Logan and the HOBW would never be pit against each other. And if none of that had happened Gabriel would have just been able to live his life.

Which is a really long winded way to say this is all Jack fault

[away-ward]

Hey KO, pd said the reason damon named fane.. fane was to honor rika's father since he respected him after realizing her father still wanted to raise him despite his origin. he wasnt named to honor rika but to honor her father.

That's great actually, and it makes sense. Thanks for the clarification.

[datamoshh]

Ich kann dir nicht wiedersteh'n Ich kann nicht mehr, bitte lass mich frei Ich spür' nichts mehr in mir

Exorzist!

[caterpillarinacave]

Have you seen this art by nairafeather?

YES I have I ADORE IT. I have it saved across like three apps on my phone, just so when I open it in the morning I can stare at it<3<3<3

[thedeadthree]

🎵 for Karolina!

HI HI ALYSSA I HOPE YOU ARE WELLL !!!! ty ty so much!! i have had her on the brain lately i miss her SOO much :')) <3

send me a ♫ + a character’s name and i will respond with a song that reminds me of them. send a ♫ + a ship and i will do the same.

✧ ― 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐈 -`. dua lipa.

if you're good enough you'll find a way / maybe you could cause a girl to change (her ways) / do you think about it night and day? / maybe you could be the one to make me stay

[cepheusgalaxy]

Story Ideas that I need to elabroate eventually

Blonde Knight One: a lady knight swore loyalty to the crown, but after finding how vile and twisted her kingdom was, she swears loyalty to a tricksy witch and becomes her knight. The story follows the adventures of her and two magicians: a transgender sorcerer (she/her) called Adam (short for Adamite) who is very very cheesy and has a boosted ego, and her equally chaotic counterpart, a black trans bard called Eve who is way too flamboyant. The separated may be prime examples of magic casting, but together, they are so unhinged the knight's job is usually to keep them from getting them expelles from whatever kingdom they have a mission on. Based on random ideas from my daily life that somehow fit together, and Vibes.

Venera and [unnamed]: Venera is a russian lved in paranormal adventures with this nonbinary guy (clove motif) that has a more open and dumbass personality than him. They are a great contrast, but they work well together. Based on a design challenge.

The Chosen One: Victor is a chosen one hero from a prophecy in a fantasy world; he knows what his duty is, and hed be happy to comply, if there wasnt so much paperwork. Victor is supposed to slay The Dragon, but each time he gets close, he has to sign so much stuff and get so many appointments before getting close to actually killing it that hes in that for ages. Gabriel, on a fairly distant country, is a magician (he has his diplome) that uses his time helping passerbys and prophecy heroes that criss his path. He is quite poor and had a hard time paying for his magic scholarship, unlike his friend Toriel, a way wealthier magician. One day, Victor stumbles upon the bar where Gabriel usually hangs out, and after they meet, the three of them go in a mission to try and slay the dragon that has been terrorizing their kingdom for ages.

New one: Two freed slaves, a guard dog and a guy who was forced to do sex services, go on a journey together and the Romantic finds out he is actually a chosen one. And can fuel the power of The Seven Deadly Sins, that are the basis of the magic system on this world. Neither the guard dog nor the romantic have pleasant personalities, but now they'll have to save the world ^v^

[supakitty3]

OMG I JUST GOT A RANDOM ART ODEA (which prob has been done before but its going the defeat my artblock i just know it) ITS TOKI WARTOOTH AS HEL (norse godess of the dead and ruler of the underworld) i will do more reasearxh and if i find it to not be fitting ill just do azrael (the angel of death for Judaism, Christianity, and islam) as i am mor familiar with his concept

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

willingly listening to horrible terrible music because i love this woman.

[coffee-and-tea-time]

Yandere shop! Choose your yandere!

I was thinking, did you ever listen to yandere asmr videos? If so, you will catch on quickly that this is based on the yandere shop, which was so popular in asmr videos during the pandemia. - coffee

If you didn’t, quick summary Coffee gave me: imagine if there is a place where you can enter and you can ‘buy’ (they pay you since you are going to take care of a serial killer so he don’t kill people while you two got your twisted love) a yandere of your choosing. - tea

Word count: 1.2k but this will be edited to correct misspellings or weird sentence structure later, sorry in advance.

tw: yandere behavior, willing reader, delulu, written in you/yours, reader is a little nervous but really interested, you can choose humans yanderes and non-human (although humanoid) yanderes!

You fix your clothing and take a deep breath, your mind filled with ‘what if..’ yet, you were here, in a place that you didn’t trust was real

A creak takes you out of your thoughts, a smiling man dressed rather formally, greets you cheerfully.

“Sorry to interrupt when you are so absorb in your pretty mind My dear, but you know, a little push may help you”

He said as he extended his hand to you, well, you already made your way here hoping to get a yandere so you gather all your corague as you take the man's hand. He led inside the shop, you can hear the click of the door closing behind you as you follow him.

“Oh, I hope you weren’t thinking of backing up so quickly Dear, want something to drink?”

You gently shake your shake as you sit down in one of the couches, on the inside it looks pretty much like a coffee shop.

“Smart choice but you still seem rather nervous, want to say something before I go ahead and show you the catalog?”

“Well, I wanted to know, what can you do for the yandere you like to like you back? What if the one I choose doesn't like me back?”

Your worries were met with a not-so-subtly laugh from the man which make you kind of annoyed and embarrassed.

“Sorry Dear, I just never thought I ever meet somebody that feel insecure about the love of a yandere”

Now you wanted to punch him, is a normal question to ask! The yandere have their own way to fall in love!

“Let me give you a quick explanation, if they had a darling, both of us know they would be busy stalking them. The yanderes we have don’t have a darling, but are eager for the sense of love on their own way which may not suit everyone so to avoid problems, this shop was put in place as a matchmaker between differents kinds of yanderes and people who enjoy them"

You sight in relief as you nod.

“alright, who is more likely to go even more insane if they don't get a darling soon.."

"Sorry, what did you just say? I couldn't hear you well"

"Oh, nothing Dear, I was just searching for the ones that been waiting the most, is how the list work, I will show you a few options first so you have an idea, you can ask for another kind if you had something else in mind, I'm sure we got something that will suit your taste; Although, do remember that is just one yandere, we had problems with that before"

"How is it that someone got the permission to have more than one? I thought you guys will keep in track that since well, it's dangerous for anyone"

"She didn't have permission but she manage because she stubbornly wanted a yandere harem, the result are expected, averyone in that house died except for one yandere, he is again on the list, and as you can guess, he end up more being more... intense. He is totally your perfect option if you like a very possessive yandere, he's a more serious yandere for that experience"

“That will be dangerous for me too?”

"Dont worry Dear, he is truly desperate for love like the rest, his name is Dizie. But if you rather a more gentle treat, Gabriel is your guy, I don't know much about him since he said that only his darling will get to know everything about him. As far as I know, he's kind of yandere that will kiss the ground were his darling walk, a worshiper you can say, if you like someone looks at you like you are a deity, he's definitely your perfect match"

“Isn’t every yandere a worshiper in their own ways?”

"Well, I guess? Is true that others have another específic ways to worship, look, he's the baker, relishes in your enjoyment of their pastries, a very skilled baker that knows how to include the most unique of ingredients to make the sweetest of treats, dreams of putting his heart and soul in every treat he bakes for his darling, his name is Oliver”

"What kind of ingredients tho?"

“The next one you may like is actually a popular singer, he chooses to keep anonymous unless chosen, but if you want to be a celebrity or date one, he is someone you can guess that will love to spoil their darling, he’s on the talkative side, if you like art or stuff like that, you will enjoy his house. although he babbles a lot of how he wish to hear the voice of his darling obsessively for hours”

The seller seems to dodge your question.

“Ah, of course, we also have some special yanderes if humans are boring or less attractive for you, look, he’s Myotis, the classic vampire, he even has wings! Isn’t it perfect to see the sky closer while you enjoy the company of a yandere that looks like he just came out of a book? If you are also into short kings, you gonna love him without a doubt”

"He's not going to drain me out of blood, is he?"

“Dear, why would a yandere who waits so long for their darling, kill them? But if vampires aren't your type, you could go for a mothman! You will be the light of his life, literally. He’s a big softie and kind of clumsy; he just eagerly waits for the arrival of his daylight. A good choose if you like special clingy yanderes, he is not around humans too much, but he said he wanted to be called Lior if he got chosen. Oh, if you are on the stronger side, you may want to keep your eye on Tarak, he said something about his name meaning something like star and protector I think, I guess he chose the name by himself, he’s a prideful dragon and really loves to talk, honestly, I’m not that intelligent to understand some things that he say, but if you like to know new things by listening, asking or reading, he's your man, you can try trying to teach him something new, I don't think is impossible to archive”

“You know what ag…”

You stopped talking when you catch a security camera in a corner moving around frantically yet appear like not seeing anything?

“Don’t mind him, is just Grier, even though I don’t know if that's his real name, I do know he loves trying to spy here using the security cameras so we end up having to put tape on them when a darling is coming to the shop; as you can guess, he’s a hacker, if you choose him, you will be very well protected and taken cared of since you gonna be being watched even if you think you are alone, if that what you wish for, please do choose him.”

The seller looks at you, waiting for an answer, to choose what kind of yandere you want or ask for a specific type now.

“You don’t really go outside too much, so I don’t think you gonna have problems with any of them”

You act like you didn’t hear his murmur as you look at the papers in your hand of every yandere he just talked about.

If your favorite options lose or you want something specific, just send an ask! We love comments and interactions in general so don't be shy.

seller post

Sneak peek of the first encounters

sorry for any misspellings or weird sentence structure ❣

images from pinterest ⚘

[books-and-omens]

I wonder, too, I wonder when Crowley is going to know. The six-espressos-in-a-big-cup protective hypervigilant Crowley. Ever circling around his angel, snapping at the slightest threat, shielding him from harm.

When is he going to know that he’s been manipulated, too?

And when is he going to know what role he himself played in Aziraphale’s decision?

There are so many things he didn’t tell Aziraphale. To protect him, to spare him, to give him time. Except, of course, all of that also meant that Aziraphale had no time and space to process them.

(And yes, there were things that Crowley could not possibly tell his angel. The cruel disdain of Gabriel’s words at Aziraphale’s execution is burned forever into Crowley’s mind; how could he have taken this dagger to Aziraphale? 

Anyway, shouldn’t the fact of the execution itself be enough for Aziraphale to know?)

But Crowley’s angel is kind, is bright, never expects and is forever surprised by treachery: Rose Montgomery turning out to be a Nazi spy, a countess turning out to not be a countess. Of course Aziraphale’s sheer relief on deciding that he’s been wrong about the Metatron will be a powerful force. He wants to be aligned with something bigger than himself; he wants there to be a point.

For all of S2, Crowley deflects threats from Hell. (Aziraphale, involved? Unlikely, Crowley says with studied nonchalance. And how do you know I didn’t do that miracle?) Out of Aziraphale’s earshot, he threatens and hisses, as he has likely done for millennia. Remember Hell’s book on angels, with everything it says about Aziraphale, with instructions to ‘avvoid’ and report to Crowley? Yeah.

By the end, there are key things that Crowley hasn’t told Aziraphale: his visit to Heaven, Gabriel’s punishment, what it was that Gabriel refused to do. Yes, there were archangels in the room, watching. Yes, Crowley had rather assumed that Aziraphale is as done with Heaven as he is himself. Still, it wasn’t Crowley’s instinct to give Aziraphale all the information. And after Aziraphale’s conversation with the Metatron, Crowley was primed to go ahead with a confession, was interrupted during said confession—so in the aftershock of Aziraphale’s words, he went right back to the path he’d already committed to. Then, of course, it was too late; the pain became too much; neither of them were thinking clearly, neither of them had the time to understand.

Yes, telling Aziraphale of the danger may not have helped. Aziraphale is even better at denial than he is at forgiveness; he might have refused to see what Heaven needs him for, how they intend to keep him in line. (Also, no doubt a worrying thought for Crowley if he was conscious of it: it’s very like Aziraphale to go to Heaven to try and stop the Second Coming no matter the risk to himself.)

But the thing is, the Metatron remembers Crowley. And he must know how rash Crowley is. How impulsive, and how likely to rear up and bite when presented with an offer to be forgiven for an injustice done to him.

So yes, Crowley has been manipulated. Through Aziraphale: through his angel’s indefatigable hope, through his desire to see the best and redeem what had seemed (but surely cannot be!) irredeemable: Heaven itself. Manipulated into storming out, his heart broken, the pain of that kiss still on his lips.

Into, after so many millennia, letting Aziraphale walk straight into danger.

I wonder when Crowley is going to know.

[horror102]

Slashers and sex

How big do you guys think slashers dicks are? And how hard would it be to take it.

Thomas Hewitt.

Thomas being a big boy, he has really good girth, and he’s more of a grower than a shower, when he soft it isn’t the biggest thing on average 5.8 inches, when hard it’s a decent 7.2 inches, and his girth is between 4-5 inches wide.

It’s pretty hard to take, it starts off rough and painful but the longer you fuck the more you ease towards it. In the end it’s very pleasurable and he’s very careful with you! <3

Thomas is very found of bondage. He loves seeing you tied up, especially with a strawberry in your mouth.

—

RZ Michael Myers.

Michael from rob zombie is a really big boy. He’s 6’9 and more muscle than he is anything else. He’s a grower and a shower. He starts at 6 inches soft snd 9.1 inches hard. Likely 6 or 5inches wide.

It hurts so much when you two have sex, Michael isn’t careful, he’s rough. And if he didn’t cum the first 5 minutes he won’t stop.

You have a bruised cervix. The first time you two had sex you bled! You quickly warmed up to his girth but you could never come to terms with the length of his.

Michael loves bruising! He doesn’t even know that he does but he goes nuts internally when he marks you.

Very very hard to take. Bruises you, and a couple of hospital visits.

—

Jason Voorhees

Jasons a big guy, more on the lean yet chubby side. Very bulky. And you can bet your ass that his dick is exactly the same.

Jason has a girth of 4.8!

He’s very thick. He has a length of 6.9.

The length is pretty average yet he stretches you so far every time.

Jason is very very careful, if you say you’re done, you’re done. Even when you tell him to go rough, he’ll go harder and faster but he’ll never go his full strength.

You seem to forget the fact that he can actually hurt you if he goes to his full potential during sex. Breaking your spine or actually doing some damage to your cervix. Nevertheless potentially killing you.

Jason’s a very very careful boy. Psst he also has a very secretive mommy kink.

He’s a grower.

Hard to take because he doesn’t really know what he’s doing and sometimes it hurts. Yet if you’re patience enough he’ll catch on and it’ll feel amazing.

—

Gabriel may

Now having sex with Gabriel is very difficult. Even though he doesn’t have a penis I didn’t want to not include our special boy :(

Gabriel gets very mad and insecure during sex because he doesn’t have his own body.

He always fantasizes about having his own body his own parts. Instead of having to use dildos or toys.

Though you make up for it, Gabriel hates receiving because he doesn’t like the thought of you pleasuring his sister even if he can feel it too.

Sometimes he’ll allow it but mainly seeing you enjoy yourself is enough to get him off.

I’d like to say if Gabriel had a penis it’d be 4.0 inches soft and 5.8 inches hard. With 4.0 inches in girth.

Gabriel has a phone sex link. Since he can control radios, lights and phones, he loves watching you pleasure yourself over the phone. Drives him crazy.

And he never goes easy on you.

Not hard to take because you’re not really taking anything. But mentally it’s a hassle, he’s always edging you.

—

Bo Sinclair

Bo fucking Sinclair. Bo is big on sex, crying sex, arguing sex, mad sex, sad sex, romantic sex. Anything you want you can have it.

Though Bo doesn’t like to experiment he doesn’t like stepping out of what he doesn’t know.

He likes the normal thing smoke regular missionary and doggystyle. Average shit.

And don’t think because it’s average he can’t fuck good because you would be wrong.

Soft 5.7. hard 8.2, Girth 4.5. Boy takes pride of his dick. If you’re arguing and say anything that involves you calling his dick small he will whip it out and fuck you.

Sometimes he’d just stare at you and whip it out letting out a scoff before putting it back in his pants.

If you say it in public he’ll laugh in your face before giving you a painful fucking after.

He’ll never ever go easy on you in bed. Sometimes you have to fuck in his gas station because his brothers were tired of hearing you yell.

Bo has a huge smacking kink. Loves seeing your skin turn a tad red when he smacks you. The shock on your face yet you’re being too fucked out to be mad.

Very hard to take. End of story.

—

Vincent Sinclair

He takes after his brother. A big dick boy.

Though Vincent’s shy about it, sometimes he wonders if it’s big enough. Which it is. It’s perfectly fine.

5.2 soft 7.4 hard.

Vincent was a virgin though he enjoyed the thought of sex. He thought of it as an art.

During sex with Vincent he’d be very careful. Scared he’d mess up or he’d read about it to prepare and rock your world.

Having sex with him was pleasurable. Soft and romantic there was never a time where sex between you two wasn’t romantic.

He was always so soft and gentle.

He thought you’d find it weird that he had nude mini sculptures of you, or paintings of you having sex. Though you oddly found it attractive.

You guessed it! Vincent has a wax kink. He loves poring it off your body. Though he thinks real wax is too dangerous so he uses lotion wax.

Rubbing it into your skin whilst pounding into you. He admired you, his favorite muse. And his favorite wax to create art. By fucking you.

Mediocre when it comes down to taking him, you don’t have sex often because he’s always busy. So usually when you do you have to get used to his size again!

And even when you do he still has length that bruises you.

—

Lester Sinclair

Straight to the check. He’s 4.0 soft 5.4 hard. Don’t think just because he isn’t as big as the others he doesn’t know what to do.

He’s a little sex geek. He has millions of magazines.

And he’s a little switch, he enjoys being a bottom most of the time. He’ll brush his teeth to eat you out.

Will literally scrub his teeth and drink mouthwash just to eat pussy and then go back to his day.

He loves the way you taste. He always compliments you by saying you taste better than his chocolate.

Saying you are his favorite chocolate. He’d call you white chocolate, cream chocolate, dark chocolate, cream chocolate or just his sugar brown baby.

He’s crazy with nicknames! He doesn’t mind experimenting, whatever involves him having sex with his girl, or boy. He doesn’t really care.

He’ll dress up for you, go out of his way to pay for expensive dates that he doesn’t have the financials for.

He’s very steady during sex, he doesn’t really do anything unless you tell him too.

Your wish is his command.

He loves sitophilia! If you don’t know what that is he likes food play. He’ll dump chocolate on you, he’ll use peanut butter.

Anything!

He’ll put candy in between your ass and go nuts! Sometimes he’d just eat the candy and leave.

You didn’t mind, as long as he was happy. And he always was. A mouth full of candy and a face full of ass who could complain?

Never hard to take Lester. You fuck so much you’ve gotten used to his penis. Though that doesn’t make sex less pleasurable for either of you.

Especially with his erratic ideas.

—

Hannibal lector

Hannibal is an average guy. 6.2 soft, hard 7.0

Mind you, he knows how to use every inch of his body. And he loves fingering. He will use his hands and finish you off.

Especially if he’s busy, he’ll fuck you to smithereens with one hand whilst he’s writing with the other.

Hannibal knows what’s best during sex. If he decides to go Fast one night and slow the other it must be what’s best.

Hannibal loves dress up. Any cute outfit on you would drive him mad. It’s not just dress up like cosplay, he loves any kind of dress up. You wear a silky dress he’d tear it in half.

And fuck you that night.

Sometimes he’d leave it on and just hump you through it. Just because he can, Hannibal knows best.

It’s never really hard to take Hannibal, he always makes sure it’s easy and pleasurable.

—

Hi guys! That’s all :) lmk if I should do part two! If you have any slashers I missed just comment them <3

[krummholz-go]

The Final 15 - Aziraphale’s Perspective

I see a lot of empathy for Crowley’s experience during the final 15 minutes of season 2 and it makes sense that we feel deeply for him. What he is experiencing is very human - acknowledging the depth of his own feelings, plucking up the courage to say something, having it come out all wrong, feeling utterly rejected, and then walking away in a mix of pain and anger. Who among us hasn’t been there?

But Aziraphale is experiencing something more complicated, something fewer of us have analogs for. Aziraphale has internally acknowledged his feelings for Crowley for some period of time, probably at least since 1941. Michael Sheen confirms this mental state in a NYCC 2018 interview:

“I decided early on that Aziraphale just loves Crowley. And that’s difficult for him because they are on opposite sides and he doesn’t agree with him on stuff. But it does really help as an actor to go, ‘My objective in this scene is to not show you how much I love you and just gaze longingly at you.’”

Unlike Crowley, Aziraphale’s struggle isn’t acknowledging his feelings. His struggle appears to be two-fold: 1) believing that Crowley could ever love him back and 2) even if Crowley did love him, believing a future for the two of them together could exist within the restrictions of his larger world view.

Can Crowley love?

Angels are, traditionally, beings of love. We see Aziraphale embody this time and again, showing kindness and support to almost everyone he meets, including the amnesiac Gabriel who has treated him abominably in the past. He is attuned to love, remarking on how the area around Tadfield “feels loved” twice in Season 1. As for how Aziraphale personally understands and expresses love, he shows his love to others through verbal affirmation and, to a lesser extent, physical touch. There are many examples of Aziraphale expressing his love for Crowley through positive verbal affirmation, typically by praising him for instances where he has been kind, nice, or good. And on the rare occasions when Aziraphale receives verbal praise, he absolutely interprets it as an expression of love, blossoming with happiness.

But from Aziraphale’s perspective, it may be unclear if Crowley can feel love in the same way. Can demons love? Did he lose that capability when he fell? Crowley can’t feel the aura of love in Tadfield that Aziraphale remarks on, and his reactions to Aziraphale’s praise are always to shrug it off, tell Aziraphale to “shut up,” or in the most extreme case to physically slam him against a wall and get in his face about it. In this last instance he tells Aziraphale, “I’m a demon, I’m not nice. I'm never nice. Nice is a four-letter word.” A four-letter word, like love, that is not in Crowley’s self-defined vocabulary.

If Crowley can feel love, does he love Aziraphale?

Even if Aziraphale believes Crowley is capable of feeling love, he does not always recognize how Crowley expresses it in the moment. Crowley shows his love for Aziraphale through actions, but Aziraphale often misconstrues Crowley’s motivations. In 1793 when Crowley rescues him from the Bastille, Aziraphale initially assumes Crowley is only there because he is responsible for the Reign of Terror. Similarly, in 1941, Aziraphale’s reaction to Crowley’s appearance is to assume he’s just part of the Nazi gang, saying,“I should have known. Of course. These people are working for you!”

Crowley doesn’t help matters in this regard because he is constantly muting and undercutting his signals to Aziraphale. Every time Crowley expresses his love for Aziraphale through actions - rescuing him, saving his books, even taking him to lunch - he does so in a nonchalant, dismissive manner, indicating he ascribes little value or importance to the actions he has performed. “I just didn’t want to see you embarrassed,” he says when he appears in 1941. And when Aziraphale positively glows with happiness about his books being saved, Crowley tells him to “shut up."On top of these confusing signals, Crowley is almost pathologically incapable of expressing his feelings in the verbal love language that Aziraphale can understand. This is heartbreakingly demonstrated in this scene after the bookshop fire:

Crowley can’t even say “I lost you.” Instead he speaks of Aziraphale in the third person while sitting in front of him, saying, “I lost my best friend.” The little hitch on Aziraphale’s face when he hears this is just devastating. Who is Crowley talking about? The last conversation they had before this scene was when Aziraphale called while Hastur was in Crowley’s apartment and Crowley said, “Not a good time - got an old friend here.” Aziraphale is left to wonder - is that who Crowley means when he says "best friend?" Crowley is everything to Aziraphale, but what is he to Crowley?

How Would It Even Work?

Even when Aziraphale does get flashes of the possibility that Crowley may care for him he immediately runs up against his second mental block - there is no world he can imagine where they could be together. When Crowley first suggests running off together in the bandstand scene in S1E3, Aziraphale collapses under the thought: “Friends? We aren’t friends. We are an angel and a demon. We have nothing whatsoever in common. I don’t even like you.”

While he is obviously in denial, Aziraphale is also under tremendous stress in this moment and is desperately trying to hold onto some stability by falling back onto his world view and ideology. In this state he backpedals all the way to “I don’t even like you.” In his understanding of the way the universe is supposed to work, he and Crowley are hereditary enemies and should not even be friends, much less in love. Aziraphale expresses this core belief throughout the series. What kind of existence could they ever have together in reality?

The Final 15

With this as a background, we can better understand what Aziraphale experiences in the final 15 minutes. Even before the Metatron enters the scene, Aziraphale begins to have his fundamental beliefs challenged which puts him off his footing. The revelation that Gabriel and Beelzebub are in love is deeply impactful. When Beelzebub says “I just found something that mattered more to me than choosing sides” and takes Gabriel’s hand, Aziraphale immediately reaches out to make contact with Crowley, a look of incredulity on his face. Here is proof that demons can feel love and that an angel and a demon can carve out a space together. The road may be difficult, but it is not impossible.

Before Aziraphale can digest this revelation the stakes are ratcheted up: Michael threatens to erase Aziraphale from the Book of Life due to his part in hiding Gabriel. The future that Aziraphale has just barely glimpsed is already under siege. It is at this point that The Metatron enters, offering Aziraphale not just survival and protection, but a version of everything he has ever wanted.

If Crowley is reinstated as an angel, Aziraphale will no longer have to wonder whether Crowley is capable of feeling love. And if they are both angels, there will be no conflict inherent in having a life together. In one fell swoop, the Metatron entices Aziraphale with a future where there are no remaining blockers to an eternal, loving existence with Crowley. It will be “like the old times, only even nicer” because they now have millennia of their shared history to build on together. Of course this logic is horribly flawed and does not take into account at all what Crowley wants, but in the moment it must feel like an enormous gift to Aziraphale.

Unfortunately, not only is Crowley’s reaction to this “incredibly good news” not what Aziraphale expects, the conversation quickly takes a baffling turn for him. Crowley shuts down the talk about returning to heaven and attempts to say what he wants to say. Sadly he once again utterly fails to speak in a way that Aziraphale can understand.

The audience knows what Crowley is trying to say because we have the context of his earlier conversation with Maggie and Nina. But Aziraphale lacks that and thus can’t understand where this is coming from or what it means. Rather than expressing his feelings as Beelzebub and Gabriel did, Crowley recites facts: we’ve known each other a long time, we’ve been on this planet a long time, I could always rely on you, you could always rely on me. He can’t even say the word “couple” when he describes them, referring to them more as colleagues with words like “team” and “group.” And the one time he does try to express his feelings and desires he is physically unable to get out the words: “And I would like to spend—.” He then retreats into his old plea to turn away from heaven and hell and run off together. Nowhere in Crowley’s confession does Aziraphale hear “I love you” or even “I want to be with you.” What he hears instead is what he’s heard multiple times before - Crowley wants to abandon both heaven and hell and default to just the two of them. From Aziraphale’s perspective this will not solve anything for them. They will still be an angel and a demon, at some level fundamentally separated by their very natures.

Having failed in his speech, Crowley then does two things in rapid succession that must be excruciatingly painful for Aziraphale. First, he does the opposite of verbal affirmation by calling Aziraphale an idiot. We have seen Aziraphale become physically radiant in the rare instances where Crowley has praised him, so a direct insult like this must feel poisonous. Then Crowley makes a last desperate attempt to communicate through Aziraphale’s other love language - physical touch - by initiating the kiss. But without context or understanding of what is behind it, Aziraphale can initially only experience it as forceful, angry, and shocking. With more time to parse it I think Aziraphale will come to understand Crowley’s meaning, but in the moment it must feel manipulative and borderline cruel.

The Results

In a very compressed time frame, Aziraphale has to move quickly and radically through multiple mental and emotional states. For 6000 years he has believed he and Crowley cannot be together. Suddenly, with the revelation of Gabriel and Beezlebub, that foundational belief is challenged. Before he can work through what that could mean for him and Crowley, the Metatron offers an even cleaner solution - they can be protected from retribution and be on the same side again. When Crowley rejects reinstatement wholesale, it makes Aziraphale feel that he and his loving offer of a life together have been personally rejected. Then that rejection is further confused through the shocking experience of the kiss which Aziraphale does not have adequate context for or time to understand and integrate. In his emotional turmoil, Aziraphale falls back on his default crutch for dealing with sadness and anger - forgiveness - which further cuts him off from Crowley. Taken all together, this is a tumultuous rollercoaster of whiplash emotions that pull at every part of Aziraphale's self- and world-views.

Compared to what Crowley is going through, I think Aziraphale is going to have the tougher road in Season 3. Crowley may still need to better reconcile and integrate his feelings for Aziraphale, but Aziraphale has 6000 years of foundational ideology to challenge and evolve to reach a place where he and Crowley can be together as their authentic selves.

[callmearcturus]

The vinyl comes with... this. This is not the lyrics to the songs. I'm gonna transcribe it, because I think the first time you listen should be with this.

You are about to listen to an album by the Glass Animals. You don't always listen to albums from beginning to end, but maybe you will this time. It was written for you. (Linear Notes by Gabrielle Zevin)

SHOW PONY

You are a child. Before you were a child, your parents were children. Most origin stories begin with love, and yours is no different. Once upon a time, two people fell in love, and then it ended. It's the first love story you were every told, and it teaches you the one certainty in life is that all things end. From this point forward, you are not a romantic. They call you the cynic, and to protect yourself, you take on many forms.

WHATTHEHELLISHAPPENING

You are kidnapped. You are in the trunk of a moving car, fetal position, darkness, screech of the tires against the road, the scent of gasoline. You don't know how you got there, but it isn't the worst place you have ever found yourself, and in a way, it feels inevitable. You know you could die, so you find yourself thinking about all the people you have ever loved. The trunk is like a womb. You could live here forever but eventually you'd get lonely. Your relentless need for company is your hamarita.

CREATURES IN HEAVEN

You are a psychic. You ask your lover if they want to know the hour and the day that the two of your will part. They laugh at you, and they say they don't believe in psychics. You suspect that their failure to believe in your gift might be the problem that leads to the demise of your relationship. But who cares? This relationship ends in three months, and you may as well enjoy it. Evanescence can sometimes be a profound pleasure.

WONDERFUL NOTHING

You are a prizefighter who is in love with a boxer. You say, "It's a bad idea." (JAB, JAB, CROSS.) And the boxer says, "It's only a bad idea if it gets in the way of our work." (SLIP.) And you say, "Promise me you'll never pull any punches." (CROSS. CROSS. HOOK.) The boxer swears they won't. (SLIP. JAB.) But when you fight, the boxer always pulls their punches, and you never do. You're pretty sure this makes you a bad person. You're a prizefighter, and you do not love this boxer or anyone enough to pull punches. (JAB. CROSS. HOOK.) Just before throwing the knockout punch, you whisper, "I love you so fucking much."

A TEAR IN SPACE

You are a sock. You are an earplug. You are a miniature glass horse. You are easy to misplace. You are you, so you think you matter. You are nothing. No one even notices when you left the party.

I CAN'T MAKE YOU FALL IN LOVE AGAIN

You are an astrophysicist. You believe you can use sound waves to control time and space. A song is a time machine, you tell your colleagues. If you sing the right song, you could transport the lover to a particular time and place. You could reverse time, and if you could reverse time, you could make them love you again. Your belief in science occasionally makes you pathetic.

HOW I LEARNED TO LOVE THE BOMB

You are a damsel, and you are in love with a monster. You're not sure how it happened. You'd been warned about such creatures by the fairy tales of your youth. But in bedtime stories, the monster always presented as monster. The beast was hirsute, the vampire had fangs, the wolf in your grandmother's clothing was clearly not your grandmother. But your monster is clean cut and has good teeth. They knock at the door. You invite them in, and just like that, you are fucking a monster. You should be upset about it, but you aren't. The thing they don't tell you about monsters is that they are sexy as hell.

WHITE ROSES

You are Proteus. You are a god and you can change forms when the situation calls for it. This is hand for work, but difficult when it comes to relationships. You have occasionally been guilty of taking a form that you knew would make you lovable to some unsuspecting mortal. But it always ends the same way. A terrible row at an inconvenient time-- say, just before you're about to leave for the airport-- and then, you're forced to reveal yourself. You don't always mean to change forms, but it's second nation for you to shift a bit here and there-- pretend you like a certain band, express an enthusiasm for sport. Are you shapeshifting, or are you concealing yourself, and is there a difference in the end? Still, you love making people fall in love with you. Every time you do it, you promise you'll never do it again. And they you do it again.

ON THE RUN

You are an escape artist. You are handcuffed, straitjacketed, loaded into a zipped and padlocked duffle bag, wrapped in chains, tossed into the bottom of the ocean. It is billed as "The Greatest Escape of the Greatest Escape Artist, and the Culmination of a Career of Death-Defying Acts!"

The spectators on the pier anticipate your deliverance. They are sure you'll surface because you always surface. They aren't fearful; they are waiting to be dazzled. What they cannot know is how bored you are of dazzling.

You exit the bag, careful to take the props of your confinement so there will be no remains. You swim to another, distant pier. You don't see the people on the pier cry. You don't read your obituary. It's no longer your concern.

A week later, you are homesick, and you concede that your plan has failed. You miss the people on the pier and your cat and your bed and your favorite restaurant and your wristwatch. You don't remember what problems your faked death was going to solve so you can't say if it solved them.

The greatest power in the universe is nostalgia, and it that's true, maybe the people on the pier will forgive you. maybe you could come back from the dead. Now wouldn't that be the greatest escape ever?

LOST IN THE OCEAN

Who are you, anyway?

Why are so many songs addressed to you?

It's simple, you think. The songs are for you because I love you so fucking much, and when you say you, you mean all the yours: the parents and the child, the damsel and the monster, the escape artist and the crowd on the pier, the sock and the one who forgets the sock, the prizefighter and the boxer, and the world that contains all these people. You are all the lovers you failed, and all the ones who failed you. You are the lovers you haven't yet encountered-- there will be many because this world is filled with people to love. You are the singer, and you are the song. And you conclude that the only way to resist the ephemerality of all things is by singing love songs to you, whoever you are, wherever you are in the universe.