#i may need to come up with a better system or go back to a proper d6 - 0 1 3 5 7 9

[bitegore]

if you don't mind, some numbers?

Rolled you an 8; that's 2+2+2 or 2 to the power of 3. Two and Three are both prime numbers, but 3 is only there as a sort of tertiary afterthought, adding flavor without much substance. Two is the number of cooperation and getting along, and three, far from center though it might be, is the number of taking action.

You'd know what to make of that better than I would, but 8 suggests that there's some action that needs to be taken in your life around you; that you can trust those around you to handle what they need to handle, and that you handling your things will handle others' as well. We live in an interconnected world. The connections here are more important than the actions taken; eight is a ripple chain.

[hell0mega]

i start class tomorrow. weeeee

[gacorley]

There’s some common threads I see in the anti-voting posts going around, and I feel like I need to discuss some of them. Let’s start with the biggest one:

Voting to punish evil. I see lots of variations of this. Biden is supporting Israel, therefore we can’t vote for him. Is there any viable candidate who would stop the genocide? I don’t think the anti voting crowd actually cares. They are appealing to moral feelings rather than political strategy, because strategically, you have to realize that voting is not going to change foreign policy, and that change has to be pushed by other means. It’ll probably be something in the long haul.

Democrats should run someone else. First of all, this is a shit strategy. You don’t primary your president in the second term unless your party is falling apart. This may come from people from countries where replacing the head of government is easier, but the POTUS is the de facto party head. Also, going to the lack of thought to the goal — do you know someone willing to primary Biden and able to win who would do the things you want?

Biden hasn’t done anything anyway. This is just a way to bat away pro arguments. There’s plenty of lists of progress on lots of things. Student loans, insulin price caps, regulations, anti-trust.

Putting the entire Palestinian genocide on Biden. I’m not saying there’s not culpability there, but understand that the entire US government is in support of Israel, on both sides. It was a miracle we got a handful of Senators to call for investigations. We should cut off aid, absolutely. Who’s running to do that? And keep in mind that Israel chose to engage. US officials would have liked a more limited response, not out of care for Palestinians, but because they know from experience that it will come back to bite Israel in the form of newly radicalized Hamas recruits.

Liberals just have no hope for change. This is a new one. Just some idea that people are stuck in a rut and that’s the reason the two party system exists. The two party system is a mathematical consequence of the way we vote. There is reason to hope for change. The change, though, whatever means you choose, will take decades. Keep working at it. The hope is not that this election will fundamentally change things. The hope is that many small political actions over the years will push things forward.

Funnily enough, I haven’t seen a whole lot of third party promotion, just lots of this rhetoric aiming to punish. When voting, ask yourself:

Is this problem I have with this candidate something that the other candidate would be better on?

Are there other political actions I can take that will help?

What things can change with a different President or Congress, and what needs to be pursued by other means?

Withholding your vote as a punishment isn’t really going to help. Biden doesn’t know who you are or why you are not voting for him, and there is no one with a chance of winning that will do everything you want. But you have other means. Protest, organize, donate, build up alternatives, advocate for a different system.

Vote to give yourself space and get a little bit. Do other things to keep things moving.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Ooo you’re doing Pressure!!

May I request an artist reader who, throughout the journey found some paper, pencil and made a little makeshift sketchbook and when later bought Sebastian’s document decided to try and draw him? Like maybe both when human and current (and maybe the monsters)? 

Perhaps he saw them sketching, got curious and decided to look through it when reader left it somewhere or just straight up snatched it and held it out of their reach and sees those sketches of him. Could be hurt/comfort or angst/fluff.

Of course you’re free to change any of the details but please keep it platonic TwT

Aw love this idea! And it works considering all the paper and notebooks in the drawers of the blacksite.

............

"Great, [y/n]. One moment, you're doing some harmless graffiti on a brick wall nobody cares about. And the next, you're risking your life for a stupid crystal in hopes you'll get a federal pardon.."

Sighing, you held onto the overhead handles within the sleek black submarine, feeling it shake and rumble as it breached the water's surface. And after hearing the chime, the door hissed and opened up, the platform extending out onto the dock of a place already familiar to you: Hadal Blacksite.

'No place like home..' As you stepped out of the submarine, you could hear HQ over the PDA system informing you of your objective in reaching the crystal and collecting any "loose assets" you find along the way...

As if you needed any reminders of what you were doing here.

Immediately, you unlocked the first door with the keycard and began your journey to room 100. Along the way, you found a good handful of research data. Nothing too special aside from folders, USB drives, and a couple blue DNA vials.

Then after narrowly dodging the Angler in one area and avoiding Eyefestation's gaze in the next, you reached a room requiring yet another keycard to exit. You checked the nearby office cubicle, finding it in the first drawer you opened.

But that isn't what made your eyes light up. Rather, it's what was right next to the card that did:

A brand new pencil to go with the sketchbook you've been carrying with you.

Because you weren't given the luxury of doodling while sitting in jail for over 90 days, you felt your creativity flames being snuffed out, leaving you itching to draw something again.

Before all of this, you had a decent following on social media with your art skills, and you could imagine that they're worried sick over your sudden absence. But you hoped that, if you survive and succeed in this mission, you'll be able to come back and reassure them that you're very much alive.

And perhaps show them what Urbanshade has been hiding from the public...that is to say the sea monsters that have taken up residence in the Blacksite since its lockdown, freely roaming and haunting nearly every room you step into.

With the makeshift sketchbook you had (and somehow kept even after death), you've filled its pages with simple and detailed sketches of each creature you encountered.

But you doubt that they would let you leave with physical evidence of entities nobody else in the world should know about...unless you somehow convinced the guards that they were "original characters" that so-happened to look like them, but you had a feeling that excuse wouldn't fly.

Regardless, they've given you tons of artistic inspiration, despite your many close-calls with them in pursuit of studying their features from afar.

Thanks to the files Sebastian Solace has shown you, you've learned how to safely observe the Angler from a distance and better remember their details. They were merely a grotesque face surrounded by smoke, so you didn't have to worry about drawing any limbs or tails (assuming they had those).

You encountered their variants so many times that you could recall the little things that made each them unique--like how Pinkie had four pupils, how Blitz was missing pupils in one socket completely, how Froger was..well..a big frog with lots of needle-shaped teeth, and Chainsmoker was a sluggish blobfish through all that smoke.

Making eye contact with Pandemonium was a death sentence..as you've already learned after trying (and failing) to safely observe him through a glass window. So you draw him as you see him in his file.

The Squiddles' "intimidating" faces were scary in the dark when you least expected them, but they served as amazing inspiration. You even had a page full of what faces you'd think they make up to frighten others. It's too bad you couldn't show them, however, as that required you getting in their personal space.

Eyefestation, Good People, and the Wall Dwellers were quite..risky to observe, as they had ways of quickly and painfully sending you back to square one if you weren't careful. Even so, you made some pretty damn good sketches..and you wish you could show them off to them, too, especially to the shark who'd probably appreciate a human's drawing of herself.

Even the DiVine, who were always frozen in poses for some reason, joined your ever-growing list of muses. The oxygen gardens were a nice place for you to rest and appreciate the flora for a few moments--before an Angler came along, of course.

Then there was Sebastian.

While he was fully aware of your artistic passions, in the beginning he seemed a bit annoyed whenever you came into his shop just to sketch.....or if you took an unusually long time to reach him. He just assumes you've stopped to "doodle" and wonders if you really care about getting out of this place alive.

He'd remind you that HQ could get suspicious if you're off their radar for too long, but you've stayed in his shop for 10-20 minutes at a time and not once did your diving gear beep. So you reassured him not to fret.

It was kinda sweet that he worried over you, an expendable, although maybe that's because you actually treat him with decency..and don't take his snarky comments to heart whenever you died.

Aside from the occasional eyeroll whenever you brought out your sketchbook, he did inquire about some of the things you've drawn, and you'd show him, bearing a little pride in your work.

All you'd get in response was a "neato" or "wowie, that's how you see them?" and nothing more.

It wasn't insulting, so...you'll take that.

Obviously he was more concerned about how much research data you were willing to fork over in exchange for supplies, and how far that equipment will carry you before your next demise. So you'd eventually close the book and barter with him for whatever wares were on his tail.

Unbeknownst to him, you've actually started sketching him as of late. Now that you've met him dozens of times, it was easy for you to recall his features without needing to stare at him for reference every five seconds.

That would not only be rude, but very creepy.

Then one day, you showed up to Sebastian's shop with enough data to be able to afford his document, which described him as Z-13, "The Saboteur" who the company wanted "dead on sight" if he was spotted or trying to escape.

When you had time to read the file on your own, you learned some..pretty shocking things about how he caused the lockdown, went through torturous experiments, and was falsely accused of nine murders and was proven innocent far too late.

The most upsetting part was that he was never informed of this.

He learned that after presumably stealing his own document.

It made you feel sick to your stomach, knowing he's the reason you're being terrorized by those beasts, but you couldn't find it in your heart to be angry at him.

If anything you were angry at Urbanshade for their "guilty until proven innocent" system--or in his case, being proven innocent didn't matter.

His human mugshot was also included in the file, and even with the black censor bar covering his eyes, he still looked like quite a handsome fellow. You could make out some details, and ended up drawing him on a separate page, too, although part of you wishes you never started.

You doubt he would kill you or rip apart your book for drawing him, but considering how volatile and rude he could be at a moment's notice..you did your best to conceal the sketches when you visited his shop.

You didn't want him to be offended or reminded of his past..and make him resent the one person who he almost considered a genuine friend.

Unfortunately, you'd soon come to realize that your actions were only heightening his suspicions.

And that it was going to come to a head next time you entered his shop.

...............

"Okay, I'm going to bite...what're you really hiding in that little book?"

"Pardon?" Pausing mid-sketch, you looked up at Sebastian, wondering why he appeared so disgruntled. "I'm..uh...just doodling like I always-"

"No, don't give me that "like always" crap." He huffed, flicking the end of his tail as he crossed his two arms over his chest, staring down at you. "Last time, you couldn't stop showing me a stupid face you'd think one of those S-Qs would make...and now you won't even let me have a sneak peak of your next "masterpiece"." He spat the last word, voice dripping with disdain. "Are you really drawing something...or are you secretly writing intel to give to Urbanshade?"

"...wha.." You blinked in disbelief, wondering where he'd get that assumption from. "Why would I ever do that?"

"Oh I dunno, maaaybe because you have access to my file and know my location? I bet you're gonna sell me out to those scumbags once you reach the crystal." He gnashed his teeth. "Did they say you'd get extra cash for leaving tips on my whereabouts, huh?"

"Sebastian, there's no reason for this hostility. I'm not giving any intel to anyone-"

"Then you wouldn't mind me taking a look at this, would you? Yyyyyyoink!" His third arm was quick to snatch your sketchbook away, holding it out of your reach as you jumped up in panic.

You were already dreading his reaction.

This could very well be the end for you.

"Please give that back! You'll tear it!"

"You look frightened. So maybe I should, considering you're writing secrets about.....about...." But as Sebastian finally looked at the page, all he saw were sketches of his current self, and you began to see a shift in his expression.

It went from pure anger, to surprise and confusion, and then to....something unreadable.

"These are...all of me?" His voice became quieter as he flipped the page, only for his breath to hitch upon finding the drawings of his human form.

And for once, he was completely speechless.

The details were immaculate, everything from his hair style to the scar he used to have across his face--given to him from an angry cellmate who thought he really did kill those people and tried giving him a "taste of his own medicine".

But the way you made him look was...incredible.

That's him.

That's really him.

The man--the human--he was before...

Before...

"Yes." Your face was burning with embarrassment, and your heart was pounding with fear of both death and ridicule, now knowing that your fate laid in his hands now. "I-I'm sorry. I should've asked for your permission and I know the details aren't perfect but you didn't let me........huh?"

Ceasing your ramblings, you noticed the tears welling in his eyes, and you were stunned. Then his shaking hands closed the sketchbook and returned it to you. "Um..are you okay? I'm really sorry if-"

"I...a-almost forgot what I looked like before all of this.." He raised a claw to wipe at his watery eyes, sniffling. "They're...good drawings, friend. I'm sorry..I...I-I didn't mean to..." His voice cracked, and he forced himself to stop, bringing his hands to his face. "Why am I crying over something like..t-this..?"

He hated looking so weak in front of you, yet he couldn't help the tears that kept slipping down his cheeks. A certain sadness was weighing heavily on his heart, yet at the same time he felt...honored that you wanted to draw him, putting your heart and soul into every sketch--with him getting the most effort.

You didn't overexaggerate him as the hideous beast he and everyone else was convinced he was, but just him as, well, himself. His smiles when he realizes it's you coming through the vent again, his cheeky grins when you buy up all his supplies, and even the one time he pouted when you died to Pandemonium because you risked it all trying to draw the moldy fish-creature.

The human ones, as you could tell from the way he broke down, especially hit home for him. Just from a mugshot alone, you were able to create a near-accurate depiction of him.

It made him wonder if you two have met before any of this happened.

Sebastian sniffled, struggling to stop the tears and expecting you to make fun of him as he finally uncovered his face. But instead he saw you standing there with your arms opened up. "I feel like you could use one of these. It's okay. I know you miss being human."

".........."

"C'mon, big guy. My arms are kinda hurting--oh!"

Without warning, he accepted your embrace and squeezed you tightly in his hold. Of course he was careful not to crush your diving tanks, and you smiled in appreciation and patted his back. "It's okay, it's alright..I got you. I didn't mean to make you cry."

He sniffled a few times, but otherwise said nothing and tried making sure you weren't supporting all of his upper body weight.

Curse his size. He wishes he could experience a normal hug again.

This one will do, though.

"I-It's...it's fine. Don't worry.." He finally spoke after a few moments, calming down. "As long as you don't tell anyone about this."

"I'll take it to my grave." You chuckled, letting go and stepping away so he could straighten his back out. While he did that, you gently tore a few pages from your book, to which he blinked in confusion.

"What are you doing with-?"

"Keep them." You insisted. "In case this sketchbook falls into a pit or gets waterlogged, I want you to hold onto these. Besides, I can tell you appreciate them a lot. So...consider it a gift."

"Why..thank you." A smile appeared on his face as he took the pages carefully. "Rest assured, they'll be safe and sound." He gazed at them both one more time, feeling a tug on his heart.

But it wasn't as heavy as before.

After neatly folding and stowing them away into his pockets, he saw you already sitting in one of the chairs, your sketchbook opened to a brand new blank page.

"Sooooooo what are you going to draw this time?" He tilted his head, ear fins twitching with curiosity.

"Hm...I did see a vision of a white glowing man a few rooms back. I think he was from...the Mindscape? There was a file talking about him and some floating gears and a white ball."

"Ohh yeah, he's an interesting guy. I'd love to see your interpretation of him." Now Sebastian was 100% invested, as he curled his tail around himself, resting his upper body on it so he could see your book better. "But y'know you won't be able to leave this place with sketches of-"

"I'm well aware of that...I could always change a few things and turn them into OCs."

"Hah. You should."

"Maybe I will." You snickered, grateful that you didn't have anything to fear.

At least somebody in the Blacksite appreciated your art.

[yuulettte]

"𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫?!"

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐉𝐮𝐣𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐮 𝐊𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐥𝐥 ✧ദ്ദി( ˶^ᗜ^˶ )

✰ Tags: gn!reader x various JJK men, fluff, reader has a cold oh NOOOO!!, sfw, just sugary sweet

✰Characters: Gojo, Yuta, Yuji, Geto, Megumi, Nanami

✰ A/N: I tested positive for covid so I decided to be self indulgent.. First time writing hcs for most of these boys ( ´ ▽ ` ) I apologize in advance

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐆𝐨𝐣𝐨 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

You tell him not to come near you out of habit, but he reminds you about his limitless technique! Can germs touch him? Who knows~

Long movie watching sessions, he'll buy you whatever you want to eat. Shoko told him to make sure you're hydrated, so he might force you to drink. Good luck!

Still manages to make you laugh with his antics. He'll wave his hands over you, using that eccentric tone, "Get better~ get better~!" as if it'll magically heal you

One time you catch him reading articles online on how to take care of a sick partner. The expression on his face is that of pure focus

He eventually gets fed up and says something about how 'the strongest never gets sick!' And thus turns off his technique to cuddle with you. He catches your cold the next day LOL

Guess even the strongest isn't immune to flu season

𝐘𝐮𝐭𝐚 𝐎𝐤𝐤𝐨𝐭𝐬𝐮 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Attentive in every way. Is absolutely unafraid of getting sick. He always ends up catching whatever bug you have because he takes care of you no matter what

Runs you warm baths. He'll help you wash, dry your hair, and get dressed.

Rubs your back if you're feeling unwell, even when you're not sick ( ´ ▽ ` )

"What do you need? I'll go get it for you. Is there a dish you'd like for me to cook?"

He's an insanely good care taker (no surprise)

Has a habit of buying you plushies whenever you get sick, so your bed is over taken by them after a few years of dating. It's an army.. Or so you call it!

Will give you that sad puppy look if you refuse to let him hold you, even if it's out of love. He just wants to make you feel better

Doesn't let anyone else enter the house unless it's your family, he's your boyfriend and so it's his responsibility to take care of you! (he's protective)

𝐘𝐮𝐣𝐢 𝐈𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Will show up at your place with a bag full of medicine and goodies

Also doesn't care about catching whatever you have.

"I've got a super good immune system, so it's no problem!"

It's true too, what takes you a week to get over he'll tank in two days. It's actually kinda scary

He'll do whatever he can to make you laugh. And if you can't, then he'll comfort you

You'll have video game tournaments in your bed, and by the end he's always curled around you like a guard dog. The both of you fall asleep like that often

He'll wipe the sweat from your forehead and give you a cooling pad when you wake up as an apology :'D

𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐮 𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐨 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

He's not very good with germs, so he might keep his distance if you have a nasty virus

He still really cares! Just may approach you with a mask and some anti bacterial

Lots of praise. Reminds you that it'll be okay, you'll feel better soon and he'll make sure of it

"You'll feel better soon my love, don't worry. Just drink this,"

He'll sooth you with his voice to help you fall asleep.

Like Satoru, he'll ask Shoko for advice on how to care for you. He takes to it more naturally, though. It's the dad vibes! Care taking is in his DNA

You find yourself getting sick way less often when spending tons of time with him. He just has that sort of aura?

𝐌𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐢 𝐅𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Not the most emotionally attentive, but he'll come over and bring magazines/books for you to read and some medicine

Will sit with you in silence. He doesn't want you to hurt your throat from forcing yourself to talk

If you'd like, he'll summon his shadow dogs for you to cuddle with. He'd do it himself but he doesn't want you to feel sweaty

He's surprisingly strict about what you eat. It has to be homemade and full of nutrients

He cooks recipes that Tsumiki taught him for you ✧ദ്ദി( ˶^ᗜ^˶ ) they're delicious!

Even if he doesn't show it outwardly, he's honestly extremely worried. He wants you to get better as soon as possible!

𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐍𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

He takes time off work, you're his number one priority. He WILL be the one nursing you back to health

Husband material. He knows all of your favorite sick foods and most effective medications

Firm about you getting rest. "Please, allow me honey," and it's you literally reaching for a cup of water

He cooks meals that are easy on your stomach. Took the time to educate himself on what vitamins to give you

Will likely also catch your sicky, but he honestly doesn't mind because that means more time off with you.

The two of you will be wrapped around each other in bed while he reads to you, both with wet towels on your foreheads <3

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

⠀ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

[reiderwriter]

✍️ Dear Diary ✍️

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

For the CM Kink Bingo Challenge

Requested: Hi thereee! I was thinking about a request since I saw they’re open again… I was thinking maybe Con-non con breeding/cream pie?🤭 maybe somnophilia too. S get home en R is sleeping and he just take what he wants but it’s obviously something mutual.

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI Dubcon/ CNC, somnophilia, breeding, pet play (kitten/owner), daddy kink, unprotected sex, almost one bed trope, oral (m recieving), Perv!Spencer, dom!Spencer, sub!Reader and just incredibly horny Reader and Spencer.

Summary: Spencer comes across your dream journal and finds out that you're not plagued with nightmares but with wet dreams. And they're all about him.

A/N: Thank you to @reidmotif, who basically told me the entire concept of this fic was forcing Spencer to read smut headcannons about himself and watching the reactions. I think this is the quickest I've ever written something from start to finish 💀

Masterlist || Bingo Board

Spencer didn't know what possessed him to read through your diary, but he couldn't stop when he started. At a single glance, he could tell it wasn't the book that he was looking for, the one you'd sent him to find in your bedroom, the one you'd recommended he read. 

That one was beside it on the side table, but there was something about the black moleskin, laid perfectly flat on the desk, that had his fingers itching as he moved it forward. 

You were otherwise occupied with setting out the plates of takeaway you'd ordered for the six people currently sat in your living room, so knowing his company wouldn't be missed for a few minutes, he sat himself down and began reading. 

Within ten pages, he completely regretted it. 

He'd sussed out by the title page that this wasn't just a normal journal but a dream journal. It was heavily recommended in a lot of the mandated therapy sessions you guys did. Hell, even Hotch had suggested it to him a few times, so he shouldn't be surprised you kept one. 

He was just surprised at the content of your dreams.

He knew his own were dark and painful, and he was curious, thinking that knowing your dreams could help him assist you better through whatever was plaguing you recently. 

In ten pages, he'd managed to suss out that it was him that was plaguing you. 

“May 8th - Woke up hot again. Dreamt of Spencer waking me up with his tongue. Need to get this out of my system.” 

“May 10th - On my back tied to the bed. Spencer again. I'm going to hell.” 

“May 22nd - Kitten ears. And Spencer's cum splashing on my face as a wake up call. I'm a freak!” 

Each entry was similar, and he read on page after page, until he felt his cock stiffening and he had to put the book down and remind himself that there was company just a few doors away. Company that included his friends and a woman who'd been dreaming of fucking him every night for… three months now. 

He took a deep breath. He took a lot of deep breaths, forcing himself to think of the most unappealing things ever as he calmed himself down. 

A voice down the hall called his name, and he dropped the journal like a scalding pot and picked up the other book, opening it to a random page and trying to look convincingly entranced. 

“Spencer, what-?” You asked, seeing him sat on your bed reading the book. He thanked the heavens that the book was a hardback and just big enough to hide the remaining stiffness in his pants while he tried to will it to deflate. 

“Oh, good book, right? I should've known you'd start reading it straight away. Just take it home, Spencer.”

“No, no, it's okay, I don't need-” 

“No, it's fine. You can give it back at the Stanford Review Psychology Seminar next weekend. We're rooming still, right?” 

He took in what felt like a gulp of air, forcing the oxygen down into his lungs as his tongue laid as useless in his mouth as his cock felt in his pants.

“Right.” He managed to get out as you told him to haul his ass back to the living area. 

He took up your journal again, though, and for the next few minutes, committed your diary to memory and left the room. 

“Spencer, come on, kid, what book is as interesting as Wrestlemania?” Morgan said, clapping him on the back as he ripped through a slice of pizza. 

One where the author said she'd woken up mid-orgasm just imagining he'd tied her down. And him specifically.

“Leave the kid alone, you know he's prone to his little fantasies,” Rossi chimed in as well, passing Spencer a beer quickly and cracking one open for himself.

Not the most prone person in the room to fantasies, of course, but possibly the second most prone. 

“Shut up and watch the game, you're making him squirm,” you said from your perch behind his seat on the couch, giving him a quick pat on the shoulders, your fingers lingering just too long. 

And with the word squirm went his whole concentration as he started imagining your small mews and purrs of pleasure, your sleepy face dazed as his fingers roughly curled into your cunt. You'd squirm for him, and you'd do a whole lot more than that. 

The rest of the night tortured him the same way, though thankfully he'd managed to find a pillow to cover up his small - though growing ever harder - issue. At last, he was the last one left in your apartment, the others letting themselves out after you'd crashed on your own sofa just inches from him. 

To be fair, they'd pulled off the herculean task of cleaning up after themselves without waking you, despite your notoriety for sleeping light. 

He'd waved off the others and said he'd get you back into bed, protests quickly falling on deaf ears. Yes, Morgan may have been the better choice to carry your dead-tired weight, but he was also five beers in and just as likely to slam you into the bed a la whatever wrestlers Spencer had been ignoring on the screen all night. 

He'd gotten himself mostly under control anyway, so he'd been able to rush them out of the door, drunk or senile, and managed to turn himself back to you. 

You were curled up in a little ball, like a cat who'd found the perfect cardboard box to sit in. You filled the space and looked comfortable, but he knew you'd be sore in the morning. Either that, or your words had driven him to the brink of insanity and he just wanted his hands on you for once.

He didn't bother trying to fully lift you, knowing you'd definitely freak out and wake up if he tried. 

Instead, he started talking to you in your sleep. 

“Y/N… let's go to bed,” he whispered, pulling your arms limply around his neck as he tugged you upwards with two hands firmly on your hips until you were standing. 

You let out a small whimper of protest, head falling forward to nuzzle into his chest as he started slowly walking you back to your bed. It was a technique he'd used on you more than once, getting you to comply when half asleep on multiple occasions to assist you when drunk or exhausted or both. 

With the revelations of your diary, he thought about talking you into even more in your sleepy state but resisted. 

“Spencer…” you mumbled, gripping him loosely and pressing kisses against his shirt and chest, lazily. 

He had to remind himself you were still asleep, even if you were moving and talking. Asleep, even if you had wanted him to wake you up with a cock in your cunt. Asleep, and not his girlfriend, or lover, or anything more than coworker, as his cock hardened and the backs of your knees finally hit the side of your bed. 

You half collapsed onto it, and we're half lowered gently by Spencer, though in all his uncoordination, he couldn't stop himself from falling directly on top of you. 

“Yes, Spencer…” you sighed, hands brushing up and down his chest above you as he froze solid. 

He was screwed. He'd read every word of that diary. He could imagine exactly what it was you were dreaming of at that moment, and he needed to extricate himself before he did something he'd hate himself for. 

His hand snaked up your waist, just brushing your nipple as he finally dropped it to the bed and pushed himself up. He couldn't touch you anymore without consequences, and while those consequences sounded truly…delightful, he resisted. 

Tucking you into bed, drowning out the sounds of your faint purrs and moans, he rubbed his cock through his pants to ease some of the ache. He denied himself more, grabbing your recommended book from the side table, leaving the infernal journal and closing the door on quite possibly one of the most arousing experiences of his life. 

He was screwed. 

A week passed and left him in his state of screwedness. You may have dreamed of him taking you like that, almost against your will, but he dreamed of you begging him to do so. 

He awoke stiff every day and refused to touch himself, to acknowledge the disgusting pleasure he was getting from his imagination. 

A week full of cold showers and blue balls, and what did it end with except being back in close quarters with your horny ass. 

Screwed supreme. 

You noticed he was acting off very quickly, and you'd commented on it the morning of conference day one, knocking him back slightly with each step towards him you took. 

“Spencer, are you sick?” You said, stepping closer, raising a hand as if to test his temperature. 

“No, no, I just... germaphobic, remember?" he smiled, gently brushing your hand away. He also took another step away from you to stop him from balling his hands into your sides and pushing you down to the floor to have his way with you. 

“That hasn't bothered you before. You literally said last week that we're in the same places so often that we've been exposed to the same bacteria and have likely formed an immuno-connection or whatever-”

“There's just-” he said, now taking another step further away from you, hands up in a surrendering pose to halt your approach. “A lot of people at this conference. It's making me a bit uncomfortable.” 

You seemed to understand that, backing off. And thankfully, just in time, because a second later and his hands would've been tangled in your hair, forcing you to your knees so he could show you just how compromised he could get you. 

You'd dreamt about something similar on March 25th. And April 3rd. 

It wasn't just his own lust for you fogging his mind - he'd dealt with that before, his hand a friendly nighttime companion - but compounded with your own, it was unbearable. 

He looked at you and all he saw was “March 2nd - Begged Spencer to cum inside me, and fill his little kitten as much as he could. Could I convince him to fo that for real?” 

For fucking real.

He felt infinitely more respect for your skills at your job now, knowing that he couldn't go a week without genuinely flinching away from your touch feeling this goddamn pent up, and you'd lasted three months and counting without so much as batting an eye. 

After wandering through the conference all day, listening to the keynote speakers and giving a speech of his own, he'd grown exhausted. He was tired of avoiding you, but it had to be done. The thing he feared the most was breaking and becoming one of the monsters he'd dedicated his life to catching. The thing he feared most was you. 

You'd hugged him when he completed his speech, lingering still after pulling away, so he was still aware of every inch and curve of you. 

“I'm so proud of you,” you said with a smile, straightening his tie. You wouldn't be proud of him if you knew what he wanted to do with that tie. He imagined, even in a crowd of people, pulling you back by your hair - March 31st - and gagging you with the scrap of material - April 17th.

After almost doing just that, he quickly excused himself, and 12 miscalls and 27 text messages later, you'd finally given him what he wanted - “I'm going to sleep now. We need to talk in the morning.” 

He finally crept back to the room you were sharing from a restaurant below. He'd thought about numbing his senses with alcohol but decided against it, not willing to take the risk that he'd numb his inhibitions at the same time. 

It wouldn't be the first time alcohol had made him get handsy with you, scowling as he remembered his hands trailing all over you during karaoke at the Delfino, his hands gripping tighter as the night stretched out longer. You'd both been trying to sing Billy Joel, and then he'd been trying to keep hold of you no matter how much you'd giggled and fidgeted. 

Looking back now, he was sure it was only the presence of every single one of your coworkers and half the FBI that stopped him from covering you in kisses, from pushing his hand up your shirt and playing with you. 

Alone in your hotel room, there was nowhere else. 

Sure enough, though, there was another bed, which he happily threw himself on when he entered, knowing he'd claimed the one closest to the door. 

He sat for a minute, then two, then three, and just knowing you were close had his brain begging to repeat everything it had learnt in your diary. 

“March 1st - I think I had a sex dream about Spencer. I think I really enjoyed it. I think I should avoid him today” 

“March 18th - Used my vibratory before bed and still woke up needy. What would Spencer's cock feel like buried inside of me?”

“April 14th - He took me over a desk in the bullpen while continuing his conversation with Hotch. I almost cried, waking up and finding out it wasn't real.” 

“June 4th - Spencer is coming over tonight, and I spent the whole day masturbating to memories of my own dreams about him…. I'm definitely going to hell.” 

It was as he repeated each of these entries in his head like a mantra that the bed shifted and he felt something next to him. 

Whatever bed he'd thrown himself into, you had decided to occupy as well. He felt your ass first, wiggling up against his crotch as you snuggled into whatever warmth he was offering beside you. 

The content sigh that left your lips was the final straw as Spencer's nerves frayed and his already throbbing cock begged for relief. 

His hands held your hips still as he unthinkingly began to rut into you, rubbing his cock against your ass in any way that would find release. 

He tried to stop himself, but you were mid-dream now, and you were making those noises again. 

Tiny little pants, mewls of pleasure, his name. Jesus Christ, his name. 

He pushed down his boxers as you threw your head back, landing at the crook of his neck, your breath fanning over his skin as you turned over. 

Instead of rutting against your ass, he could now hitch your legs across his thighs and at least get close enough to where he wanted to be, buried in your wet, aching pussy. 

He didn't let himself. Biting his lip, he moved his hands from your hips to his cock, and began a slow, painful attempt at jacking off. 

It should've been easy with you in front of him. He should've already exploded on his hand, especially after more than a week of nothing.

But you were in arms reach and it was as if his entire body was on strike until he sank into you. 

In the end, it was your movements that led him to crack, just like it had been your words in the first place that had moved him to such desperation. 

Shifting uncomfortably again in your sleep, you'd managed to push your leg over his lap and roll on top of him, all while unconscious. 

And then you started moving. Like really fucking moving, like dry humping. Spencer's brain disappeared as he tugged at your clothing to figure out how to remove as much as needed removing. 

Luckily, all he had to do was shift your panties to the side and make sure he didn't get tangled in the rest of your night dress, and, thoughtlessly, he was plunging into your depths. 

He thought it would be that first thrust that would wake him, and though he had his suspicions, he was right. You didn't move. If anything you were quieter now with his cock filling you than you had been dry humping it not a minute earlier. 

You were awake, he knew. You were awake, and you were pretending to sleep. His cock throbbed inside you at the thought and he knew he needed more. 

“March 19th, I dreamed that Spencer woke me up with some cream for his kitten. I called him Daddy. God, I wish it were real,” he whispered in your ear as you continued your facade, quoting your diary back at you as he flipped you over. 

He was gentle still, allowing you to maintain the illusion of sleep even as your heart beat out of your chest and a moan threatened to burst out of your mouth. 

Softly, his hips retreated from over yours, his thick cock withdrawing from your heat before slamming back in. 

“April 12th - Daddy let his good little kitten drink up her spilt milk from the floor. I licked his cum up with my tongue as he fucked me from behind. I'm perverse.” 

Your breathing was way harder to control now, as his hips swayed into yours repeatedly, his real cock stretching further than you'd ever imagined his dream one reaching. You'd never been a good visualiser. 

“Wake up, Y/N,” he said, kissing your neck and replacing his lips with a firm hand at your windpipe. 

“Wake up and talk to me. We're supposed to be talking about earlier, right? You're supposed to be mad at me, but instead, you're close to cumming on my big fat cock.”

You screwed your eyes up tighter as he lifted his head and let his tongue silence the first moan that you let.slip through. He'd won. 

His to guess clashed with yours as you tried to control his pace from under him, tugging your hips up, begging for more of his dick to enter you. 

Sure, you were awake, but to you, this was just another dream, and he wasn't going to let you escape him this time. 

“That's it, that's.my little girl, milk my cock,” he murmured, even as he grabbed your hips again and started setting the pace once again. It was his fingers stabbing into the gate of your hips and stomach that had you finally fully waking up and realizing that this was real, that Spencer had fucked you awake. 

“S-Spencer,” you moaned, chest jumping with each jack hammer, his head buried between them, picking and sucking like some ravenous beast devouring prey. 

“Daddy,” he corrected, sucking one nipple that had popped out of the top of your night dress into his mouth and biting down. 

You arched into the touch, and he didn't let you move away, hands instantly gripping you tighter as you squirmed and fought in his grip. He held tighter still as his dick entered you, again and again. 

Like you were falling asleep again, your brain cleared until there was only him, hic cock, his tongue on your chest, his hands on your ass keeping you in place.

“May 16th - Last night, Spencer was my owner, and he raped me in the middle of the night. He pushed his fat cock into me and I howled in pleasure, stating exactly where he put me until he released his load into me.”

The words were your own, but you couldn't feel any shame heading them, knowing the reenactment felt just as good as you'd hoped it would subconsciously. 

“Y/N, focus on me. Focus on milking my cock like s good little kitten, come on Y/N,” he said, thrusting into you with no qualms now. 

He'd given in, and he'd given in quickly, but if this was the reward, then he was never holding back again. 

“Spencer-” you shuddered out as your orgasm broke through you, his panting writhing form finally pushing you back down into the bed as he continued tutting into you until he, too, could no longer hold back. 

With a painful groan, he came and pulled out of you in an instant, letting his cum leak out of you as he watched. 

You barely had time to catch your breath before he pulled you up, tugging at your hair until you were both on your knees, then pushing you down until your face was level with his softening cock. 

“Clean up your spilt milk, kitten,” he panted, and you complied happily, licking up every drop that had splashed against his cock and stomach and thighs. 

His moans were musical, whimpers and pouts and sinful curses as he held up your hair and tried not to fuck your mouth, enjoying the sensations of your exploring g tongue too much for that. 

When he'd thought you'd done enough, he tugged you up again, wrapping his hands around your body firmly and pulling you in for one more kiss. 

“Next time,” he said, pulling away and panting to catch his breath. “Next time- you have- a dream- just- tell me.” 

You nodded and tried to chase his lips, but he pulled you back down to the bed before you made it  eliciting a small whimper of frustration. 

“You're sleeping in my bed,” he observed, stroking your head as he held you close. 

“You were avoiding me.” 

“I was avoiding you because I've been walking around with a boner for a week, and I didn't want to jump you in a conference room filled with 300 people.”

“You read my diary,” you said, pouting. 

“You let me read your diary. It was wide open on the desk, and you sent me into that room alone, knowing my eyes move quicker than my conscience does.” 

You hummed, smiling in reply but didn't answer the accusations. 

“I wonder what my wake up call in the morning will be like,” you smiled, shutting your eyes and letting yourself fall asleep, his chest pillowing your head and his arms closed tight around your waist. 

[beomcoups]

Legal Briefs

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: lawyer!Dokyeom x fem!reader 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: pwp, corporate au, 18+, non-idol au 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: swearing, riding, unprotected sex, cream pie, pet names, slight exhibitionism, oral (m. receiving), clit stimulation, squirting 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 2.1k 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Dokyeom is stressed out over his case, and you use your brain in more ways than one to help him relax.

AN: Thank you to @miabebe for beta reading this for me at the last minute and @miniseokminnies being lovely. This is a repost, as this fic was originally written for another idol. I have decided to edit it and make it fit Dokyeom more. I hope you enjoy it <3. Also, tagging @onlyseokmins because that's your man, duh, lol. If you want to be tagged in future fics, sign up here🤎

Dokyeom is one of the most prominent corporate lawyers in your country, and you understand how hard he works daily to maintain that reputation. You were a lawyer when you met him, so you know the ins and outs of the legalities and how stressful it can be defending clients. Your first time seeing him was at a kickboxing gym you both frequented and then on the opposite end of the court, duking it out to protect your clients involved in a breach of contract. You may have won that battle, but in the end, Dokyeom won your heart, and you left the corporate life behind to be a housewife. 

You walk into the swanky thirty-floor office building, and the security guard greets you as you approach the elevator. You are holding Dokyeom’s favorite lunch, pizza with cheese sticks, secured in a heated lunch box. You also brought fruit and juice, which he has been into lately. It’s a nice day outside, and what would be better than spending lunch with your husband?

You hum your way up to the 20th floor, greeted by the receptionists as the elevator doors open. The anticipation is building, and the excitement and butterflies in your stomach are brewing as you make your way to his office. You speak to everyone that makes eye contact with you. Everyone knows you as the boss’s wife, a hotshot lawyer, giving it all up for love. 

“Hi,” his secretary greets you nervously as you approach her desk. “He seems a bit stressed out today. That case with the pharmaceutical company isn’t going well, and I’m pretty sure I heard papers flying around.”

This concerns you, as it is different from Dokyeom to lose his cool like that. You thank her and tap quietly on the office door, waiting to hear his voice before entering. 

“Yes?” His smooth voice makes your heart jump. 

You open the door, and your eyes widen at the scene before you. There are papers and folders all over the floor. Dokyeom is lying on the sofa, his suit jacket covering his face and his arms folded on his chest.

“I take it you’re having a bad day?” You ask gently, setting the lunch down on his desk.

His face lights up when he lays his eyes on you, jacket falling to the floor as he jumps up to greet you. 

“I wasn’t expecting you here,” he replies before getting up and kissing your cheek. “I would’ve cleaned up.”  

“And miss all this drama?” you tease him. “Come on, I’ll help you put everything back.”

You survey the papers and put the files back in their folders. You know where everything goes because you helped him set up his file system to make his life easier. You may not be practicing law right now, but it doesn’t mean you haven’t had to use your expertise a few times to help your husband win a few cases. You initially quit your previous firm because you felt burnt out and needed a break. Then, when you got married, you wanted to spend time being a new wife and try for a family. Dokyeom supported you in all of that. He never made you feel inferior or less than for stepping away from your career to be at home. Now, it’s been two years, and the children haven’t come yet, but maybe it’s just not time, as lately, you have been missing practicing law.

Dokyeom helps you and profusely apologizes. “You don’t need to apologize,” you wave him off. But this is not like you; what happened?”

His expression changes, his eyebrows furrowing with worry. He takes a deep breath before putting the last envelope into the bookshelf. 

“I am missing a critical piece of evidence, a part of a contract that proves my client’s innocence,” Dokyeom begins, clutching onto the desk. “I know who to subpoena, but the judge is being a real asshole and won’t allow me to access those documents. So my client might lose, and then they’ll drop me, which means bye to our house.”

He removes his tie and takes a sip from his water bottle, his Adam's apple shifting as he gulps. Your very frustrated husband is also very hot, and it’s taking all your willpower to stay on task.

“Listen,” you redirect your focus to his problem. “There’s no guarantee that you will lose this case, and we definitely are not losing our house. Why don’t you eat the lunch I brought, and we will figure it out, okay?”

He nods and kisses you on the forehead, his way of saying thank you that still makes you feel warm inside. You watch him take out his lunch, and you start to eat yours, making small talk about your day as you dig through the cheese sticks. 

“When did you order this, babe?” Dokyeom asks, mouth stuffed with pepperoni and cheese. “You were cleaning up when I left for work.”

“I ordered it right before I came up here,” you say proudly, feeding him some of your pizza. “I got tired of eating lunch alone and wanted to see you. Looks like you needed me too.”

He gives you a kind smile that soothes your soul like a warm hug. You talk more about the case as you clear out your food containers. Dokyeom mentions that he has been trying to get the evidence to no avail for the past week. Watching him stressing himself out bothers you, as you know how hard he has worked on this case, and you want to see him succeed. His eyes were glued to the papers in front of him, skimming over everything to find a possible loophole. You can’t help but take in how handsome he looks, focused on his work, his jaw clenching as his frustration mounts. 

So, you came up with an idea.

“Hey, babe,” you get his attention, removing your cardigan. “I’m going to help you relax, okay?”

He nods, his shoulders still tense up from reading over the paperwork. You move behind him, relaxing your hands on his shoulders before you massage them, making him feel more at ease. You start unbuttoning his shirt, reaching down to rub his chest while leaving kisses on his neck.

“Well, this is one way to do it,” Dokyeom hums, setting down his pen. He moves his head and kisses you deeply, his hands gracing your face softly, pulling you deeper into his rapture of love. You make a move to sit on his lap, taking off your tank top and exposing your favorite bra that pushes up your breasts just right. 

“Was this always the plan?” He smirks, leaving kisses down your neck. His lips suck on your sweet-tasting skin, his tongue trailing down to the valley of your breasts.

“And if it was?” You move in front of him, sitting on his lap, and your skirt hikes over your hips. “What are you going to do about it?”

He chuckles and kisses you more, removing your bra and throwing it across the office. You lift and reach down, undoing his pants and lowering his briefs, feeling the growing bulge hardening along your slit. “No panties? Aw, baby…”

“What?” You smiled coyly. “Do you want me to leave? I can just get up—”

“W-what? No, no, it’s not that,” his cheeks turn pink in a panic. “I hate to rush, but I have to be in a meeting in twenty minutes,” Dokyeom’s breathing hitches as his hand touches his manhood, stroking his thick girth to your naked breasts and exposed ass. You lower yourself until you are on your knees, moving his hand away as you take over. You kiss his dick just the way he likes it, his legs tensing up as you take him in your mouth. His thickness takes over your mouth as you suck him good, your free hand playing with your clit as you watch him cock his head back and curse softly. 

“Baby, you are so good at this,” he murmurs. “Is there anything you can’t do?”

He gently fucks your face, pacing himself so he doesn’t blow his entire load down your throat. Your eyes lock with his as you take him in deeper, drops of saliva spilling out of the corner of your mouth. Dokyeom is ashamed to admit it, but he likes it when you look like this: the makeup on your sweet face ruined with tears because you sucked him off so well. You would never tell him this, but you love how he tastes. The way his smooth cock hits the back of your throat makes you dripping wet, and if you keep up any longer, you will cum on this floor. 

“H-honey,” he sputters. “I have 15 minutes. Get on top.”

You slowly take him out of your mouth with a pop, lifting yourself and positioning yourself to sink into him. You both groan in unison when you are entirely on his lap, your nails digging into the armrest of his chair.

“This won’t take long, I promise,” you mutter, giving yourself a few seconds to get used to his size before slowly grinding on him and enjoying the feeling of him being inside of you. His body tenses at your movements and his fingers massage your clit softly. You unexpectedly let out a loud moan, and he covers your mouth with his hand.

“I know this feels good, bouncing on my hard dick, but you are going to have to keep it down, princess,” he grits. 

Dokyeom knows what that does to you, calling you princess as he fucks you into an earth-shattering orgasm. You’re a squirter, and he knows that, so it was unsurprising that your lower halves were covered with your essence. Your eyes never leave each other, whispering I love you and trading meaningful kisses. Dokyeom’s head rolls back, whispering songs of praise as you continue to ride him on his office chair. 

“Baby, I’m close,” he whines, his hands gripping your hips. You grind on him hard, finding your clit and releasing again shortly after. Dokyeom follows right behind you, spilling deep inside of you as his head buries deep into your neck. As he slows down, he kisses you lovingly, making sure your cunt is full of his cum before pulling out. You're still trying to catch your breath when you climb off of him to clean yourself up. 

“Mr Lee?” His secretary’s voice booms through the speaker, startling you both. “Your meeting starts in five minutes.”

“O-okay.”

You can see the time on his laptop, and the 5-minute reminder before the meeting stops flashing wildly on his screen. You find your bra and hurriedly put it on, with Dokyeom already dressed and holding your tank top and cardigan.

“What?” You catch him staring at you curiously. 

“You are so bad.” “Well, isn’t that why you fell in love with me? Aside from me beating your ass in court, of course.”

You finish getting dressed, helping him put his tie back on, and kissing him goodbye before heading out the door. You catch a photo you missed picking up earlier, and something catches your eye that makes you stop dead in your tracks.

“Babe.” You pick up the photograph and inspect it thoroughly. “What’s the name of the judge?”

“Judge Choi,” he responds, preparing himself for his meeting. “Why?”

“This wouldn’t happen to be the judge in the 17th court, would it?

You pull out your phone and look him up, confirming your suspicions. 

“Okay, I know that look,” Dokyeom comments, a puzzled look on his face. “What’s up?” 

“This judge used to give me shit when I was practicing, but I always found a way to get around him,” you start. “There was talk about him being a crooked judge and being paid off by companies, but I could never confirm it until now. Look at the picture.”

You show him the photograph of the rival company at an event, pointing at the missing piece of the puzzle: the judge and the company’s CEO, arm in arm, taking a picture. “That’s why the judge is shutting you down, babe,” you confirm. “He has ties to the other guys. Judge Choi should have recused himself a long time ago.”

Dokyeom looks at you, amazed that his wife could figure out why he had this roadblock. “God, what would I do without you?”

“You’d still be losing to me in court.” You kiss him goodbye again, letting him prepare to attend his meeting. You close the door, and his secretary smiles at you and motions for you to come closer to her. 

“You should be more careful in there, dear,” she advises. “The whole office heard you.”

[bi-writes]

whats wrong with ai?? genuinely curious <3

okay let's break it down. i'm an engineer, so i'm going to come at you from a perspective that may be different than someone else's.

i don't hate ai in every aspect. in theory, there are a lot of instances where, in fact, ai can help us do things a lot better without. here's a few examples:

ai detecting cancer

ai sorting recycling

some practical housekeeping that gemini (google ai) can do

all of the above examples are ways in which ai works with humans to do things in parallel with us. it's not overstepping--it's sorting, using pixels at a micro-level to detect abnormalities that we as humans can not, fixing a list. these are all really small, helpful ways that ai can work with us.

everything else about ai works against us. in general, ai is a huge consumer of natural resources. every prompt that you put into character.ai, chatgpt? this wastes water + energy. it's not free. a machine somewhere in the world has to swallow your prompt, call on a model to feed data into it and process more data, and then has to generate an answer for you all in a relatively short amount of time.

that is crazy expensive. someone is paying for that, and if it isn't you with your own money, it's the strain on the power grid, the water that cools the computers, the A/C that cools the data centers. and you aren't the only person using ai. chatgpt alone gets millions of users every single day, with probably thousands of prompts per second, so multiply your personal consumption by millions, and you can start to see how the picture is becoming overwhelming.

that is energy consumption alone. we haven't even talked about how problematic ai is ethically. there is currently no regulation in the united states about how ai should be developed, deployed, or used.

what does this mean for you?

it means that anything you post online is subject to data mining by an ai model (because why would they need to ask if there's no laws to stop them? wtf does it matter what it means to you to some idiot software engineer in the back room of an office making 3x your salary?). oh, that little fic you posted to wattpad that got a lot of attention? well now it's being used to teach ai how to write. oh, that sketch you made using adobe that you want to sell? adobe didn't tell you that anything you save to the cloud is now subject to being used for their ai models, so now your art is being replicated to generate ai images in photoshop, without crediting you (they have since said they don't do this...but privacy policies were never made to be human-readable, and i can't imagine they are the only company to sneakily try this). oh, your apartment just installed a new system that will use facial recognition to let their residents inside? oh, they didn't train their model with anyone but white people, so now all the black people living in that apartment building can't get into their homes. oh, you want to apply for a new job? the ai model that scans resumes learned from historical data that more men work that role than women (so the model basically thinks men are better than women), so now your resume is getting thrown out because you're a woman.

ai learns from data. and data is flawed. data is human. and as humans, we are racist, homophobic, misogynistic, transphobic, divided. so the ai models we train will learn from this. ai learns from people's creative works--their personal and artistic property. and now it's scrambling them all up to spit out generated images and written works that no one would ever want to read (because it's no longer a labor of love), and they're using that to make money. they're profiting off of people, and there's no one to stop them. they're also using generated images as marketing tools, to trick idiots on facebook, to make it so hard to be media literate that we have to question every single thing we see because now we don't know what's real and what's not.

the problem with ai is that it's doing more harm than good. and we as a society aren't doing our due diligence to understand the unintended consequences of it all. we aren't angry enough. we're too scared of stifling innovation that we're letting it regulate itself (aka letting companies decide), which has never been a good idea. we see it do one cool thing, and somehow that makes up for all the rest of the bullshit?

[meara-eldestofthemall]

Gee, thanks DC! You Just Turned Bruce Into An Irredeemable Ass.

So, at the end of Gotham War Bruce has officially lost everything. Alfred is still dead, Selina is "presumed dead" and Bruce is both financially and morally broke. Why, you may ask, is Bruce so much worse off this time? Let me count the ways.

He preformed a psychic lobotomy on Jason

The "it's for your own good" excuse only makes the mental rape undertaken by Jason's own father that much more heinous.

Just when you think Bruce can't sink any lower he does. When Dick recognizes that Bruce has lost it, he attempts to use a failsafe disconnect that Bruce himself built into the system. How does Nightwing get thanked for that? Well that brings us to number two on the list.

Batman attacks up his eldest son for doing what he's supposed to do when Batman has gone rouge.

Bruce beats him up because nothing proves you are in control of your sanity like hitting your children. While Dick is holding back, Bruce does no such thing. He hits Nightwing hard enough to send him flying. It could have gotten even worse if Tim hadn't shown up.

Tim arrives and attempts to talk some sense into Batman.

Tim tries to talk Bruce down. It doesn't go well. When Robin is trying to help, as he always does, Batman uses the attempt to reason with him to put the smack down on his son. Bruce could have killed Tim but apparently feels no remorse or guilt.

If there was any teeny tiny little doubt that Bruce will not win the Father of The Year award in 2023 it died a horrible screaming death when Batman abandons his children to potential arrest. Yes, he left a batarang for Dick and Tim but any glimer of possible hope associated with that action was instantly extinguished by Damian's reaction to Batman's callous betrayal.

Bruce abandons Damian.

Look at Dami; he's devastated. Since he came into Bruce's life, Damian has struggled with feelings that he can never earn his father's love and respect. Well, that negative self-image was reinforced in way that may never be repairable. Bruce just utterly destroyed a 13 year old child because of his inability to feel any kind of empathy.

And how does this all end? The best part is that Bruce takes all of his parental responsibilities and dumps them onto Dick.

Thank you Chip Zdarsky and Trini Howard. You've taken Batman from being an edgy anti-hero and made him into a callous monster. Part of me hopes that Bruce never comes back because he doesn't deserve his family.

The only positive aspect in this convoluted mess is that Damian and Tim will be far better off with Dick than with Bruce. Yes, Tim is mostly independent but he still needs guidance (particularly since Tim's first instinct is to try and save Bruce). Damian is essentially Dick's son emotionally anyway so this might help to sustain the positive character growth we've seen in him as of late.

The point of this rant is to wonder what on earth DC thinks they're doing. This story arc has been pure character destruction as far as Bruce is concerned. It's bad storytelling too; rushed, frenetic and massively disappointing.

Hasn't the popularity of Good Dad Bruce in Wayne Family Adventures proved that fans are tired of Bruce being a dark depressed and brooding edge lord? We all accept that Batman is a character with deeeeep issues who is in desperate need of therapy. I, however, draw the line at Bruce being an abusive a**hole.

In years to come when fans wonder when Batman jumped the shark, this is the plot line they'll point to.

[zweiginator]

omg escort!reader and divorced!art is so well written you are an artist… i need to know what happens when she gets back from hiatus🫢 maybe she is taught to not reveal too much personal stuff but art is just so desperate and lonely that she caves… maybe she gives him the most intimate and passionate blowjob of his life and he’s so pathetic because he hadn’t gotten his dick sucked in like two years and it’s so good that maaaaybe he cries a little…

art calls one more time, exactly a week after his first one. he asks politely to the woman on the other end, your boss--is she back yet?

and just by the breathy desperation in art's voice, she knows who is calling. who he wants so badly.

"look--she'll give you a call when she comes back. i'm not sure when that is. you may hear from her before i even do. are you sure you don't want to book a session with another girl in the meantime?" she explains that there's another girl who looks a little like you.

"that won't be necessary." art takes a sip of his gin and tonic. "i'll wait for her."

she sighs, lets it go. tells art to have a good night and art wishes her the same. but his head sinks into the pillow, the bitter curl of gin still on his tongue and he wonders where you are.

three days later you come back. your boss had flagged you down when you came in to talk money with some of the other higher-ups.

"hey, a client of yours called a couple times while you were out."

you plunge the applicator of your lip gloss back into the sticky tube.

"really? who?"

"guy named art, i think he said. sounded like you really made a lasting impression."

art. of course you remember him. dirty blond hair with salted white strands around the crown of his head. sunken in eyes that turned boyish when he smiled, although the wrinkles around his eyes revealed wisdom, experience. the smell of musk and tobacco radiated from him like the cradle of his body heat.

"long time client?" she asks you.

"no. just once." it surprises you, that he cared so much to call.

"you must've made a good impression." she winks.

your heart sinks a bit when you remember how you forgot the money. that maybe he only called to urge you to pick it up, not wanting to be caught up on the bad side of a system like this one.

so you go to his hotel room. you remember art telling you he was taking a break from tennis, that he would be staying at that hotel down by the highway for as long as they'd let him.

and art is watching shitty reality television when he hears a knock. your knock. three open-palmed bangs and art is opening the door in an old t-shirt and cotton pajama bottoms. somehow, he looks even better than before.

"hi." a smile creeps up. a big one.

you blush and look down at your feet. that's so unlike you. "hi. im back."

"please, come in. i'm sorry." he ushers you inside and latches the door. "i was about to make a gin & tonic. you want one?"

"no, thank you. i heard you had called the service about me?" you sit on the desk chair across from the bed.

"yes--I" a pause, like he's trying to really gather himself. "i'm sorry if that was inappropriate. you forgot the money and--I just really wanted to see you again. if i'm being completely honest."

you try to hide how your face contorts, disappointment as art mentions the forgotten cash, bliss as he admits the calls were to ask for you.

"here i am." you scoot forward. "not inappropriate. i promise, you're much more respectful than most of the callers we get."

art asks to cradle you in his lap again and you oblige. you like to feel small with him, and he likes to feel strong and protective and push your hair away from your forehead to kiss you there. it all feels so much more intimate than sex could ever be.

"have you been feeling any better?" you ask art.

he ponders, and then nods. "yes, actually. since meeting you ive felt better."

"good. that's good." you latch your lips under his ear. "i thought about you while i was away."

blood rushes to arts face. "really? in what way?"

"i didn't pleasure you at all."

art pulls your face close to yours. stares at your lips and the dip of your cupids bow.

"you did pleasure me."

one of his hands cradles your head, the other resting on the top of your thigh. you grab him, making his fingers trace up your torso, your throat. and then you suck his fingers into your mouth. you swirl your tongue and let the spit drool out of you and make a mess.

for the first time, art groans. it's guttural and surprises you. the both of you. because it came out involuntarily, a dormant beast that the warmth of your tongue pulled out, inch by inch.

a twitch under your ass. he's hard. but the skin of his fingers is so, so soft. regardless of the callouses on his palms from tennis rackets.

"i want to make you cum."

this vocabulary. this depth of conversation, of laying each other out in the open and digesting stories and vulnerabilities is not your job. using such straightforward verbiage is not your job. your job is to be pretty and be used and be paid for it.

but this isn't your job right now. because art never paid you, and you still haven't brought up the $800, although you saw it in an envelope with your name in small, capital letters, blue ink.

you're not his escort. no, right now you're his lover.

art tilts your chin up. "do whatever you want to me. even if it hurts me, i'll want it."

and god, he's so fucking ridiculous with those puppy dog eyes and furrowed eyebrows. pathetic but in a way that made you want him to use you even more. but he won't.

you untie his pajama bottoms.

"do you want me to make you cum?" you yank them down, along with his boxers.

"yes. fuck. yes." his erection slaps his stomach and he's long. pink and wet with pre-cum; it looks just as pathetic and needy as he does.

you wrap your hand around him.

"pretty, pretty cock." you stroke him, pretty painted nails wrapped around the length of him. "so hard. god, i bet it feels so good to be touched like this."

it does. god, it does. but art can't speak. his mouth hangs open because you're touching him like it means the world to you to do so. so, so, slow. intentional how you feel the ridges of him.

he closes his eyes, just for a second. but then he misses seeing your face, how it mirrors yours in terms of pleasure, even though he isn't touching you at all.

his eyes open to see a glob of spit falling from your lips as you stare at him. his micro-expressions. he nods.

"do you want me to get it nice and wet for you?"

you already have, bubbly spit warming his cock so nicely.

"yes. please--"

the sounds of you touching him are louder now. he hasn't been touched like this in so long he feels like he may just cum right now. spill into your hands and apologize profusely. tell you he isn't usually like this.

but then he feels your lips. a soft kiss to his tip and he groans. instinctively grabs your hair and you open your mouth all the way for him.

"fuck my throat." you say it so sweetly, his erection still in your hand, ghosting over your mouth. tempting him.

"i dont want to hurt you."

you bat your eyelashes. "fucking doesn't necessarily mean fast or hard. fuck me how you want to."

he wants to worship you. he wants to feel you from the inside out. but he'll take this.

he holds the back of your head and tells you to tap out if you're in pain. as if he forgot the nature of why you're here. you kind of have.

you nod and you're drooling for him. over a year of doing this and you've never felt your heart beat so assuredly. knowing that you want him more than it's healthy too. that this is more than a contract between seller and buyer.

he pushes in. slowly, inch by inch and your eyes water. he holds your hand tightly and you squeeze him back. you're completely still. you trust him all the way as he fucks your throat slowly. his spongy head hits the very back of your throat and every movement makes art whimper, moan, swear. it makes you wetter than his hands being all over you. just pleasing him. he deserves it and so much more.

"fuck--you look so pretty. taking all of me. want you to take everything i fuckin' have--"

his hips stop moving, they stutter. and you pull off him, opting to do all the work yourself. it's messy; spit drips between his thighs and you kiss his shaft up and down. kitten lick him, worship him. softly stroke him and tell him you want him to cum, you want him, you want him.

it's not a lie, but art wouldn't care if it were. hearing the words makes him cry, makes him finish, makes him pull you onto his lap as he's still coming down. to hold you close. you wipe his tears and stay all night.

[drchucktingle]

POUNDED BY DR. GLOBUS

wanted to post today about recent health journey of chuck. ALL STARTED at texas show when i began to feel tightness in throat. i have learned this is called GLOBUS which is a tingler character name if ive ever heard one. got through appearance and had blast but felt terrible

plane journey home was even worse. first thought i strained my voice, then tested for covid (negative) and then figured it was just some kind of virus. had running nose and hoarse and extreme pain behind face and MOST of all this golf ball throat

figured i would get better as viruses tend to go but I DID NOT. after a few weeks went to way of urgent care and they took one look and said you have EXTREME FORM OF ACID REFLUX called laryngopharyngeal reflux (also great tingler character name)

basically this is when your stomach acid comes all the way back up into your throat and erodes it. they immediately put me on medications name of pepcid plus tums plus gaviscon and on and on. was inhaling a dang pharmacy every morning

problem is, NO CHANGE. in fact it started getting worse. in addition to previous symptoms i now couldnt keep any food down. upset stomach all the time. could barely sleep. plus it is scary to have a sickness that gets WORSE over time like this

more doctor talks. i up doses of medication to combat sickness but does not seem to work. one night wake up and think 'dang i need to go to er my stomach is going to just melt or something' (keep in mind because i cant keep food down i am always hungry too).

i go to hospital and they say 'WHOA we need to intervene right now we are doing some tests and putting you on SERIOUS LIFE CHANGING MEDICINE. but here is catch to do the tests we need you to stop all your medication for 48 hours and it will be HECK but you gotta do it bud'

so i stop all medication in preparation for new SICK LIFE and suddenly… i start feeling better. not just a little but after weeks of this awful way i wake up in ONE DAY and feel fully cured. now heres twist: at the same time this was happening I started taking allergy medicine

you may already know where i am going with so i will just hit you with it. my INITIAL SICKNESS was just extreme seasonal allergies that required nothing more than claritin and flonase. however i was misdiagnosed with ACID REFLUX and medication was making my stomach a wasteland

the second i stopped taking acid reflux meds and started on allergy trot i was better almost instantly. today i feel HECKIN GREAT. (SIDE NOTE: after 4 years of chronic pain i am so thankful to not have some OTHER long term health trot to deal with. DANG)

so what is lesson here? first of all please do not think this is in ANY WAY anti-doctor rant or anti-medicine. my doctors were trying their best and made a mistake, they are just people. ALSO while acid reflux medicine made me sick, allergy meds made me better. i am SO fortunate

but what is REALLY fortunate is that chuck is covered under SWEET BARBARAS HEALTH CARE (she gets very good coverage under the frozen lake). most artist buckaroos, even WILDLY successful ones, do not have health care which is huge issue that should be talked on more.

point is EVERYONE should have healthcare. this whole adventure was bad, but it also only cost me 50 dollars. hundreds of thousands of other buckaroos would have to deal with this PLUS it would completely upend their life to cover medical expenses because of a SIMPLE MISTAKE

so that is my story, usually there is more of a lesson to these rants but this one is really just ‘dang what a trip.’ so grateful for my health and my way and the fact i can get simple allergy medicine over the counter. most of all THANKFUL FOR MY BODY it is such a treat to exist

thank you for reading and remember to advocate for yourself and your feelings both BODY and MIND at the doctor. listen to your trot and do not forget that LOVING YOURSELF AND THE SYSTEMS OF YOUR BODY proves love just as much as loving others. trot on buckaroos

[ivesambrose]

🤍 WHAT YOU'RE MANIFESTING NEXT 🤍

1. 2. 3.

Starting off new pick a cards with something sweet and simple that everyone can look forward to.

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at ivesambrose@gmail.com

Masterpost

Services Offered

Thank you for the tip

Picture 1

Its likely you've felt rather helpless and alone, as though life has been testing you to the point it feels like a schedule to get to them and tick them off in your mental notepad once done. It is likely you've felt extra strained in your home environment or hometown, you may have attempted to leave but something or the other comes your way. You may have felt consistently blocked or unable to leave or unable to find a solution to a problem you've been facing in regards to your house or family.

A small part of you then decided to turn the worst case scenarios in your favour somehow. One of the ways being, "all of these sufferings will be rewarded. At least, mine will." I imagine you said this to yourself through gritted teeth. I want to tell you that the first thing you're manifesting is learning and accepting that suffering for rewards and accomplishments as poetic as they sound, shouldn't be the default settings you function under.

You're manifesting -

• A solution and clarity. No more illusions that worry you from taking the next step or making a decision.

• A community that allows you to bloom. New friends and network.

• Relocation.

• An end to apathy and boredom.

• An end to turmoil, stagnation and feeling of lack and helplessness.

• The beginning you've been anticipating as everything ends around you.

Timings: The coming 3 months.

Picture 2

You may have felt a lack of proper guidance in your life. That no matter what mentor came through or what ever path you sought to follow, everything somehow got complicated when you looked up to it. So many contradictions and so many lies. So you decided the only constant guidance are your own experiences and intuition. There's a life of adventure you seek, a career that lets you live the way you've wanted, for your words to inspire others without coming off too preachy and pretentious. Life has lacked stability likely due to external forces because you've time and time again done your best to obtain the stability that had been taken away from you. There's an intention you had set some time back and that is finally coming into fruition. Thing is, you knew it was going to happen anyway no matter how dire it seemed, you just needed to water this intention by directing your energy to it. You're manifesting -

• Increase in creativity with the energy to express it as well. Feeling in charge of your life. Leading rather than being led.

• Travelling to foreign locations for higher education or job/career. A career that lets you travel or involves travel.

• More money or increase in finances in general.

• More things or subjects to learn and achieve proficiency in.

Timings : Sooner than you expect. (Likely Gemini season for some)

Picture 3

You don't really shy away from challenges but certain incidents have made you question your faith and entire belief systems, later people and lastly yourself. You're trying to find a middle ground for yourself and also wondering how many transformations till your quiet breakdowns stop. Some of you really want to leave, something that brought you comfort is only bringing you anxiety now and giving you extreme mood swings. It seems as though you're wondering if any efforts you're putting into what you want is even worth it. Quiet your mind for some time. Even for a minute. Till the minutes eventually pass and your mind feels quiet for once. It's okay to have a head full of no thoughts at times. You're manifesting -

• Emotional regulation.

• Better health.

• Luck and expansion.

• Knowledge that you can put into use.

• For some better relationship with a maternal figure or their parents.

• Sudden wealth or unexpected wealth or property.

• Protection from distrustful and downright vindictive energy.

• Success, recognition and enjoying the fruits of your labour. Succeeding in anything you've been wanting to manifest for yourself actually. No extra steps or rules and regulations to follow. Simply acceptance.

Timings: Within 2 months.

[fallingfor-fics]

Meetings in Secret- Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Pairing: Step-Aunt Melissa x Step-Niece Reader (not blood relatives!!)

Word count: 11.6k DAMN this a whole book, if it does well i may make a part two

Warnings: fooling around with your step-moms sister, mild smut, fingering, grinding, some angst, drug and alcohol usage

Summary: You are 21 in college and meet Melissa at a family party and continue to run into her. You fall into a loop with her and she keeps dissapearing.

this was def not based on true events

Friday nights were always your favorite since you started college, and now you are freshly twenty-one meaning you prepare yourself all week for Friday nights. You and your friends would go out, have a blast, come home, and crash. Then you would do it again the next weekend. They were almost sacred nights now. So when you got a call from your step-mom saying her son's graduation party was on friday, you held in a displeased groan. Of course you said you would be there and dreaded the event. You did your hair and makeup, leaving your hair down and light makeup since it was mainly outdoors. You wore a simple skirt with a nice tank top and headed home just as it was about to hit seven. 

When you arrived you took a deep breath and grabbed the card you got for your step-brother then headed inside. You could hear the music as soon as you got out of your car and your eyes went wide. There were a ton of cars parked in the front of the house and you heard the roar of chatter. Wafts of barbeque and beer came your way as you walked into the kitchen. 

“Oh Y/n! I'm so glad you made it!” Your step-mom, Mary, said with a smile and came to give you a hug. “Your father is outside on the grill and Jude is outside with his friends.” she went back to cooking and you nodded.

“It smells great in here, what time did everyone get here? Sorry I'm a little late.” 

“Oh it's fine people started arriving at five but they’ll be here all night.” she laughed. You looked out the window to see tables set up under canopies, with lights dangling all around, a balloon arch graced a window, and there was a large speaker playing music. Your jaw opened slightly, they didn't even go this big for your high school graduation. You turned back to Mary with a smile.

“That's a lot of people.” 

“Yeah so we are trying to keep the inside off limits, unless it's for the restrooms.” she quipped in response as she bounced around the kitchen. You went outside and said hi to your dad before going to congratulate Jude. 

“I got this card for you, Congratulations!” You said with a smile and he gave you a hug. 

“Thanks Y/n.”

“Your mom really went all out.” you laughed and he nodded.

“Yeah I don't even remember some of these people, but hey mom’s letting me have a few beers so I can't complain.” You laughed before heading back inside to see if Mary needed any help. 

After a couple more hours, people were dancing and mingling like crazy, drinks were flowing and people were either gossiping at tables or dancing by the speaker. You had to admit you were having a pretty good time, you had been hanging around your dad or just chilling by yourself for most of the night, but you were enjoying the people watching, and the juicy rumors people were chatting up. Your step mom called everyone in for a shot and your head started to hurt from the thought of that many people in the kitchen. You had also managed to avoid any introductions and didn't want that to change. You felt better with the drinks you had in your system and had already done a shot or two with Jude when no one was looking. Only the people that actually wanted a shot came inside, thank god, and you stood outside of the circle of people around the kitchen island where your stepmom was pouring the shots in these tiny plastic cups. Your dad yelled a salud to Jude and everyone cheered as they downed their shots. After that most people went back outside but a few hung around for another. When most cleared out of the way, through slightly fuzzy vision you saw a woman standing at the counter, red hair draped across her shoulders in smooth curls, and eyes that sparkled in the dim lighting. An angel- you thought to yourself. You looked away when you realized you had been staring and went to pour yourself another shot.

‘Oh do you want a glass of wine or a cocktail instead?” Mary asked from the sink and you shook your head. 

“Nah thats okay im good with this and the beer selection isn't bad.” you said politely and she laughed, clearly more tickled due to her wine buzz she had going on. You took another shot and figured that was enough for now and went to the bathroom. As you were coming out you ran into your other step-brother, Anthony, who was older than you by a few years. 

“Oh hey how’s it going?” you asked and he nodded. 

“Not bad just got here. I was actually looking for you, you know I owe you for that time we smoked here fourth of july so I brought some stuff if you wanna come to my car?” he asked in a hushed tone and you looked around. 

“Your mom still doesn't know you smoke? I don't think she will care. I mean Jude is shitfaced right now.” you said surprised and he shrugged. 

“I guess. Come on I dont wanna risk it with the nosey neighbors and we are already being hella loud.” he pleaded and you nodded. You walked to his car, his cousin joining as well. He was parked under a tree and you got in the passenger seat, grabbing the lighter from the door and handing it to him. He gave you the joint to start up and you did, passing it to him as you looked out the window. 

“So what happened with you and that girl you were seeing? The crazy one with the boyfriend?” you asked Anthony as his cousin nodded and handed you the joint from the back seat.

“Yeah, you're still seeing that girl?” she asked, leaning forward and he shook his head. 

“Nah I ended that, I didnt wanna mess with that situation anymore.” he replied and you took a drag before handing it to him. 

“What about you Y/n? You got a man?” his cousin, Ariel, spoke from the back and you laughed, 

“No, I'm focusing on school right now.” you smiled and they nodded. You stayed and talked with them a while longer before you guys decided to head back to the party. You sprayed yourself with perfume and washed your hands when you got inside and paused to look at your reflection. You had a good crossfade going and started laughing as you thought of the fact you were going to have to spend the night now. You rolled your eyes before heading back to the kitchen.

Soon it was just you, Mary, another woman that was rather gorgeous but slightly older than Mary, and Ariel. 

You smiled as you sipped on some water and talked with Ariel, your back to the patio door. You heard it open and didn't think anything of it until you felt someone come and stand next to you, her arm pushing into yours as she rested her hands on the counter. 

“Hey Mary, can you make me another drink?” she asked with a cute smile that made your heart stop for a second. Okay maybe it was also the substances in your system but you caught your breath and turned back to Ariel. 

“It's the angel.” you whispered to yourself.

“Hey Melissa, can you make it yourself?” she chirped and you raised your eyebrows. Mary saw and laughed, causing Melissa to turn and look at you. Her smile softened at the sight of you and she stood up straight, looking over your appearance. 

“And who is this beautiful young woman?” Melissa asked and you hesitated to speak, the wave of nerves almost suffocating you. 

“That's Y/n, Christopher's daughter. You met at the wedding but Y/n is always away at school for any of the parties we have here.” Mary answered as she started to make Melissa’s drink. “Y/n this is my younger sister, Melissa.” you nodded now vaguely remembering her. Your dad and Mary got married right before you left for college so you didn't see much of her family.

“Oh I didn't even recognize you, you have changed so much.” Melissa said with a smile and you weren't quite sure if that was a good thing or not. 

“Well I grew my hair longer and stopped dying it. I also cooled it with heavy makeup.” You rambled, the drinks in you allowing your tongue to roll words right off it at a rather impressive speed, for your current state at least.

“I see. You have such beautiful hair sweetheart.” she said with excitement in her voice clearly a result from some drinks. She moved her hand to run her fingers through the ends, her fingers grazing your back through it. You felt a chill travel up your spine and your cheeks grew hot. 

“Thank you, but you have the most beautiful hair I have ever seen.” you said softly and she smiled. 

“Awe thanks hon.” she rubbed your back then grabbed her drink from Mary. “Are you coming with us girls to go shopping tomorrow?” she asked and Mary looked up with a smile. 

“Oh yeah Y/n I wanted to ask you but I got so busy cooking. We would love to have you. We are just going to hit up some shops in town.” Your step mom said sincerely as she took a sip of her wine. You felt Melissa looking at you and you met her glance for a second. Her eyes were firm yet dazzling. You felt as if she was challenging you, but not threatening, rather observing your response and demeanor. You nodded with a smile and Mary cheered and Melissa's satin lips curved into a cocky smile. 

--

The next day you got up early to shower and get dressed, you wore denim shorts and a baby tee with sneakers and did some light makeup. You had slept in your room that was right across from the guest room, which you learned Melissa was staying in and you struggled to sleep with that fact circling in your head. This encourages you to wake up and get ready though. Because now you had a reason to get put together before you were seen by her in your pajamas with your hair a mess. 

You step out of your room and see Melissa sitting in the kitchen, her back to you and Mary sat next to her with a cup of coffee. You took a breath and walked up to them with a smile. 

“Good morning.” You said to them as you got a cup of water. 

“Morning sweetie.” Mary chirped, Melissa looked up at you with a smile and muttered a greeting before going back to her phone. 

It wasn't until you all went to load into the car that you realized you were a seat short. You offered to ride in the trunk but Mary refused. 

“I think we can all fit if we squeeze.” Ariel muttered and you sighed. Melissa turned to you with a smile. 

“You can sit on my lap if you need to hon.” she said casually in her rough and seductive voice. Your cheeks grew hot and it took every muscle of restraint to decline the offer. I mean you had to give yourself a pat on the fucking back at the willpower you had to say no to this. You knew it wasn't right to say yes since she was just offering to be nice and you respected her too much. You shook your head and laughed. 

“Um I'll just take my car, and follow you up.” you said moving to grab your keys. 

“Oh ok thanks for doing that.” Mary said and you nodded, “Go with her, Melissa, so she's not alone and so we all fit comfortably.” Mary ordered, gesturing to Melissa to walk to your car.

“Is that okay with you?” she asked and you nodded in shock. She walked up to you and grabbed the keys from your hand. You allowed her, not saying anything and just smiling. “I'll drive if that's ok.”

“Go right ahead.” you said and you walked to the passenger side. The car ride went fast, Melissa asking you about school, and you asking her about work. You learned she taught at an elementary school and that thought only fueled the butterflies. She said what you were studying was cool and that also made you blush a bit. You knew you couldn't keep thinking this, but it was hard. She was very affectionate, I mean they all were, but she would alway place hands on your arm or back and she always held eye contact. You were confused from all the signals getting crossed. Of course you knew she was just being nice, but you couldn't help the way your mind wandered about her every time you would lock eyes. 

You split off to go shopping with Ariel and met back up with the others for lunch. Melissa sat next to you and you smiled up at her, she had her hair down but was wearing a casual yet very flattering sundress that had thin straps. You didn't notice any bra straps which made you think she either wasn't wearing one or had a strapless one on. As if she was reading your mind, she let out a sigh and her hands went to the fabric on her chest. 

“I got one of these stupid sticky bras and the damn thing is falling off.” she muttered to the table and you all laughed. Your step-mom went on to share her own experience with those heinous creations and Melissa continued to mess around and you once again turned your focus away from her. 

“Oh my god, should I just take it off.” she laughed turning to you and you laughed along. 

“Just go to the bathroom and fix it.” you suggested, her knee was pressed to yours and you couldn't help your eyes accidentally glancing to her chest for a second. 

“I mean look at that.” she said, holding the top of her dress out for you to see her dilemma. You felt your chest tighten and you panicked inside. The Schemmentis were all very open and close with each other, and you loved to be able to be a part of it all, but this moment had you wanting to drift away in a gust of wind to never be seen again. You couldn't help it and you looked down quickly before nodding and looking away. 

“Yup yeah that sucks.” you said as you took a sip of your water. By the time you all got home you were ready to go back to campus and see your friends. You said goodbye to everyone and drove an hour back to school. Before you left Melissa gave you a hug and you felt her soft hands around your back, one resting on the exposed skin of your waist from your cropped shirt. Her hands were warm along with her skin which was silky soft and radiant. You cleared your head and quickly got into your car to leave. You only had a few more weeks of school, and wanted to hang out with your friends as much as possible. 

--

The next Friday you and your friends took a trip to Philly a few hours away to visit another friend that you hadnt seen in awhile. They had mentioned this popular gay club you and your friends wanted to check out so of course you agreed to go with.

“Yeah I guess it's owned by a famous drag queen, it's in Milwaukee though it's just so far and not worth checking out ya know?” Your friend said to you in the uber on the way to the club, no one wanted to be sober tonight so the Uber was necessary. Your hair was down and you were wearing a little black body con dress with sequins on it and some cute black heels. Currently you were reapplying your lipgloss since the pregaming rubbed some off and you needed to look good tonight. You arrived at the place and you and your friends all cheered when you got inside. The place was two stories, with the second floor being balconies that looked down onto the first that had a large dance floor and of course the bar. 

“Follow me!” your friend said and you all grabbed hands as you moved through people. You noticed the crowd was full of all kinds of people. Some were younger, some were older, but everyone seemed to be having a good time. You were led upstairs where you found another bar, and then booths and high tables placed around under the colorful lighting. You all went to the bar and ordered some drinks, you noticed all the tables up here were full and your friend suggested you go dance. You all agreed and finished your drinks before going back downstairs. You took a second to have another shot and as you were walking to catch up to your friends you saw through the tables of people, on the other side of the room, flaming hair and a glowing smile that erupted with laughter sitting in a booth. You realized who it was and your heart stopped as you admired her. You wondered if you should say hi or just sneak away, as you pondered, one of your friends came up to you. 

“Come on, Y/n” she said and you turned to look at her muttering an apology. You looked back up at Melissa and she was sipping her drink, she must have felt your relentless stare because she looked up and before her eyes landed on you, you were walking downstairs with your friend. Melissa caught a glimpse of you walking away and saw the shine of your hair and furrowed her brows. She assured herself it was just someone else but she couldn't get the image of you out of her head. She walked over to the bar and got a beer, taking it over to the balcony. She leaned over it looking down at the mass of people dancing and her eyes darted through the group. There were so many people squished together she felt her eyes sting as she focused looking through them, searching for your smile. Finally she smiled when she saw you and your friends pulling each other to the dance floor, thankful she wasn't crazy after all. The lights swirled around your face and you danced freely but with elegance to the music. Things slowed down as drinks started to flow and you smiled at the feeling. Time slowed for Melissa as well while she watched you dancing in the haze of smoke and music, your friend moved up behind you and you pressed against her, grinding to the beat and laughing as you did so. Melissa felt her breath catch and her smile grew. She admired your beauty and confidence mixed with your overall humble attitude. The innocence you wore underneath all of that was pulling Melissa in and she took a sip of her beer when she felt her throat going dry. When she looked back down, your friends were coming back from the bar down below, empty shot glasses left in your place at the counter. You kept dancing with your friends and Melissa felt a twitch of jealousy in her. Her brow raised slightly and she sucked her teeth with a smirk. She couldnt peel her eyes away from you, your hips, your face, the way you moved up against your friends, it all enchanted her. 

You smiled and laughed while your friend put her hands on your hips and you both moved along to the music. It was already hot in the room with the amount of people there, but you felt your face heat up even more all of the sudden and you opened your eyes fully and slowed your dancing a bit. You felt eyes on you and something drew you to look upstairs. Immediately bright green eyes were locked on yours. Your hips didnt stop moving as you stared up at the woman, She was smirking at you and you hesitated in reacting. You were fairly tipsy by this point and you had all smoked before coming so when your eyes landed on her you were rather stunned. You couldn't help but smile at her, a sheepish and regretfully seductive smile that caused her to smile back in return. Your friend turned to push her back against you and you instinctively did so, your hips once again moving in sync. Melissa watched in envy from above and sipped her beer, giving you one last glance before walking away. 

You snapped out of your haze and stopped dancing, casually enough to not raise concern, and then said you were going to the bathroom. Your friends nodded and you went upstairs. Fueled by alcohol-induced confidence and of course delusion, you looked for Melissa in the large circle of people. You spotted her table from earlier and you saw her sitting with three other women. From a distance you watched, observing to see if any of these women could be with her. That's when you realized… Melissa was at a gay bar. Which meant one of two things, her queer friends invited her, or Melissa didn't just like men. You knew she had been married and divorced to one but didn't think anything of it. Your heart started to beat faster and you let out a breath, now unsure about going up to her. What good could that do? While you pondered Melissa had seen you standing over by the bar alone and made her way over to you. 

“You really shouldn't be alone hon.” a raspy voice chirped from behind you and your head snapped to look at her.

“I was just up here looking for the bathroom.” you said and she nodded, gesturing you to follow her. By how quickly she took you to the bathroom your senses pointed towards option two of your possibilities for Melissa being here and you sighed to yourself. Melissa held your hand as she led you and you smiled as you kept up with her. When you got out of the bathroom Melissa was waiting outside it, leaning up against the wall of the hallway that was semi-secluded from the rest of the loud music and voices. You smiled at her when you got out and you took advantage of your current situation and looked at her with a grin. She raised a brow and you sighed. 

“So.” you paused looking up at her, “What are you doing in a place like this?” The words dragged out of your mouth but somehow managed to be quick enough that you couldn't properly phrase the question and you made a face at your choice of words. She scoffed with a smile and crossed her arms casually. 

“I could ask you the same thing.” she said softly and you nodded.

“I'm just here with my friends for the weekend.” you said shrugging and she pushed herself off the wall to step closer to you. You looked in her eyes and she tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Why are you really here Y/n?” she said with confidence and you felt your knees go weak. 

“I told you, my friends brought me.” you replied and she shook her head.

“Come on. Be a good girl and tell me what I want to hear.” she said getting serious and you almost melted right there. You wouldn't believe what just came from her mouth. This woman you had met twice, and oh yeah, who was also your step..aunt? You swallowed and she smirked. 

“My dad didn't tell you I like girls… well, women.” you slurred out a bit with a sly smirk and she tilted her head at you.

“I get the feeling you didn't tell him.” you looked at her plainly and laughed, shrugging it off and she stepped closer once again. You felt your back hit the other wall and you couldn't help a small grin. 

“My family doesn't know, I'm very private. I'm not currently seeing anyone. I am as clean as a whistle. I like all women but have a soft spot for redheads.” you rambled out, your eyes softening at the last part as you winked. You would be the first to admit you were fairly drunk at this point. 

“Anything else you wanna know? Oh, I'm wearing black lace panties.” you muttered as you teased her and you went pale when you realized what you said. Embarrassment took over and Melissa just smiled at you with a cocky and mysterious smile. You didn't say a word and just turned to walk away, but she grabbed your arm and pulled you into her, her hands cupped your face and she kissed you softly but with a desire so strong it made your stomach flip. You kissed her back, running your hands through her hair and pulled away with a sigh to catch your breath. Your eyes widened when you realized and you looked down shaking your head. 

“I'm so sorry.” was all you said before walking away to find your friends.

“Damn did you throw up or something?” One said from their spot at the bar. You laughed and shook your head. 

“No, I ran into a friend.”

Your friends were growing tired and you were all about ready to head back. As you were closing out your tab your friends ordered the Uber and used the restroom. You signed the check and thanked the bartender, putting your card back into your purse. The Uber came and you left with your friends. 

That was the last time you saw Melissa for months.

--

 It took a couple days but after your kiss with Melissa you were able to eventually shove it away in the deep dark depths of your brain. You were currently at a work event for the organization you were interning at, and the event was at a nice history museum in Philly. It was a more formal event and you decided to just stay the night in a hotel instead of driving back. You were wearing a very simple yet elegant dress and some smaller heels. Due to your anxiousness you arrived early and decided to drop your stuff at the hotel first. The office made the reservation and covered the hotel expenses, so your room was rather fancy. It was on the top floor of the hotel and had a large king bed and a chaise lounge that sat in front of a large window that overlooked the city. You gasped at the sight and held in a scream at how gorgeous and amazing this was. You looked at your watch and saw it was almost time to head out so you fixed yourself in the bathroom mirror, and then grabbed your phone and purse before heading out. 

You got there fifteen minutes early, and walked up the steps of the museum looking around at all the dimly lit architecture that graced the outside walls. You gawked at how magnificent and intricate it was and continued to do so as you made your way in. There were signs pointing you where you needed to go and eventually you saw some of your coworkers. You mingled with them for a bit and grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing waitress as you waited for your boss to arrive. 

“Oh Y/n, you see that group of people over there? Those are the investors we are trying to impress tonight.” one of the other interns whispered to you and you looked over in the direction she pointed. You saw a bunch of people in suits that definitely looked the part and raised your brows. 

“Wow, they are the real deal. Too bad we can't talk to them.” You laughed. 

“Who says you can't?” you heard your boss chime in from beside you and you looked at her with a smile. 

“No one really, just myself.” you replied and she nudged your arm. 

“It's all about networking darling, and anyone can network.” she smiled and then walked to the front of the crowd. 

Did you want to fuck your boss? Yes of course you did. She was brilliant. However at this point in time you knew better, and you needed this job. That didn't stop her from flirting with you, and she actually did flirt, it wasn't in your head. Only reason you know that is because even your friends at work thought so.

After her speech was over you were free to walk the museum, you decided to go checkout the best exhibit they had-- the planetarium. This was always your favorite part of museums and with how fancy this one was you knew it had to be pretty astounding. You decided to go to the bathroom before you went to the exhibit, and as you stopped to read the map on the wall to see where the closest one was, you saw people out of the corner of your eye. Naturally you glanced at them before looking back at the map. However, you recognized a face and you felt your cheeks grow warm, you slowly looked back over out of fear you could be right, and your eyes went wide when you saw the familiar glow of red hair. You watched as Melissa walked slowly, looking at some boring historic artifacts, arm hooked in the arm of… a man. You held back the disapproving glare that tugged to appear on your face and you decided to just turn back around. You decided to stare at the map until they had walked by. Eventually you lost track of how long you had been there, checking your phone to see it was definitely not longer than three minutes. You exhaled and before you could go to turn around you felt a hand on your back, stroking your hair. 

“Hey Y/n.” you heard a velvety voice mutter your name and you felt a ping in your chest. Turning to face her with a smile, you fidget with your watch and look around for the man that was accompanying her. 

“Hi.” you let out, your eyes locking with hers. You looked over her and your chest grew numb as your eyes traced over her curves that were gracefully accentuated by her dress. 

“What brings you to a place like this?” she asked with a grin and you laughed at her mocking question. 

“I could ask you the same thing. We have got to stop meeting like this.” you joke with a light blush on your cheeks as you smile. Trying your best to play your role as a perfectly normal college kid who did not kiss a step relative at a gay club. 

“Looking for the bathroom I presume?” she asked and you nodded, slightly embarrassed. “It's that way.” she said and you nodded in realization. Soon the man she was with came from one of the staff only doors and came to stand next to her, a hand on her back.

“Hey, thanks for waiting.” He said to her before looking over at you with a small smile.

“No, problem I was just catching up with Y/n here she is my sister's stepdaughter.” she said with haste, “Y/n this is Clint he works here at the museum.” she said and you nodded. 

“Nice to meet you. Clint.” you said enunciating the ‘t’ as you looked at Melissa. 

“To clarify I actually own part of the museum not just a regular employee,” he said casually and You saw Melissa's eyes flicker to yours, she was reading your face for a reaction and her eyes softened as she listened to this preppy douche talk about himself, she felt embarrassment creep up on her as she watched you watching him. How could she stand here in front of an intelligent and beautiful girl like you with her arm linked to a man that was barely in Melissa's league and even she knew that for certain. “What brings you here?” he finally asked. 

“I'm here for a work event.” you nodded and he had an “ah-ha” look on his face. 

“Ahh yes, you’re with Smith Archives right?” he asked and your lips flattened. 

“Yup, I'm interning there.” you replied politely and Melissa furrowed her brows. 

“Wow hon that's a long drive home.” she asked with more concern laced in her voice than she intended and you just looked down. 

“I'm staying the night, they put me up in a hotel a few blocks from here.” Her face relaxed and you saw a mischievous twinkle in her eyes for a second before you cleared your throat to break the silence.

“Well it was nice seeing you but I have to get going. Good to meet you, Clin-t.” You said quickly before smiling and turning to head in the direction of the bathroom. The slight sting of jealousy trickled in your head and you rolled your eyes at your own reactions to everything. 

The exhibit was beautiful as you expected. The giant dome was lit up with the night sky and you sat in one of the seats, staring up at them as the soft sound of a narrator explained the astronomy facts. No one else was in there so you got to enjoy it in peace. Amongst the stars you zoned out, thinking of Melissa and convincing yourself this will all pass just like last time. You felt your head hurt from the stress and you took a deep breath. You sat there for at least two rounds of the little speech and were debating on staying for one more before you flinched slightly at a voice from behind you.

“Magnificent isn't it?” you turned to see your boss, Vivian, standing with her arms crossed as she looked around. You stood up and leaned on the backs of the seats. 

“Yeah it is, I'm surprised we are the only ones here.” you muttered as you looked over her frame. Vivian was gorgeous, but her mind, it was her mind that was so brilliant it never failed to reel you in, the way she spoke, and carried herself often left you in a haze. She was so humble and reserved yet gave you just enough to leave you on your toes. She had long dark gray hair with white sprinkled through it, despite only being forty-eight. She had strong cheekbones and piercing brown eyes that were so inviting yet intimidating. 

“Yeah well everyone is at the Dinosaur exhibit.” she laughed and you let out a soft giggle. 

“That makes perfect sense. Did we have any luck with the investors?” you asked and she didn't answer she just turned to look at you with a smile. 

“I want to ask you something Y/n.” she said softly as she walked past you to stand closer to the front of the dome, her head looking around at the stars in front of her. 

“Yeah what's up?” you asked, trying to appear normal. She turned to look at you and you smiled. 

“You know, you are very good at your job,” she paused and you felt your heart stop- oh god were you getting fired right now? “And I really value having you here but there is just one small issue. It is hard for me to help you get the most out of this position when you look at me like you want to fuck me.” Your eyes went wide and your jaw dropped.

“What?” was all you could croak out and she smiled, a soft laugh leaving her lips. 

“Its okay Y/n, I know you don't mean to, and I can't blame you,” she said, gesturing to herself and you laughed awkwardly, “but this brings me to my question.” she started and you nodded for her to continue, you were unsure if this situation could get any crazier so why not. 

“Are you able to get over this little infatuation or do I have to fulfill your fantasy in order for you to move on?” The words left her lips all too quickly and you felt your knees buckle as you leaned on the seats, she walked over to stand in front of you and you smiled up at her. If this was really happening you knew you had to take the opportunity. She stood over you and raised a hand to tuck hair behind your ear. The gesture made your heart ache and you were suddenly reminded of Melissa. You knew nothing could ever come from either of these situations, but your cons were longer for hooking up with Melissa than they were with Vivian. Melissa was never going to do the things you wanted her to and you had accepted that in this moment and allowed yourself to give in to pleasure. Vivian leaned down and hummed waiting for a response. 

“No one will know?” you asked with a smile and half lidded eyes as you looked at her, standing to meet her face to face. 

“Where’s the fun in telling?” she scoffed and you smirked, she moved a hand to brush a thumb over your lips and her other moved to rest on your waist. Just as she was about to lean in to kiss you, you saw movement behind her and you backed away, she did the same. Standing away from you nonchalantly. She relaxed when she saw it wasn't a coworker but you tensed up further when you saw Melissa standing there with a face full of confusion and shock. She didn't know how to feel and could only identify the jealousy she felt burning in her chest. 

“Sorry to interrupt.” she laughed bitterly, before turning and walking out. You watched as she left the dome and you looked down. 

“Did you know her?” Vivian asked and you nodded, “Hmm, ex?” she asked and you shook your head. 

“No, it's complicated.” was all you said. Though you were surprised, that's what Vivian's first guess was.

“Well whoever she is, the way she was looking at you really reminded me of the way you look at me.” she laughed and your eyes snapped up to hers.

“Really?” you asked and she nodded. You looked at your watch and saw that the event was technically over. “I have to go Vivian.” you said with a shaky voice from the anxiety coursing through you. 

“Go ahead Y/n. we can always pick up where we left off another time.” she winked and you ignored the small flutter in your stomach as you said goodnight, placing a kiss to her cheek, and then leaving the exhibit. You practically jogged down the hall, you looked all over and couldn't find her, the last place you looked being the front of the museum. You slowed when you saw her standing on the curb. You walked over and took a breath before coming to stand beside her. You didn't say anything and she looked at you.

“Was that your boss?” she asked and you nodded which earned a scoff from Melissa and you rolled your eyes. “I see you do have a type, though she looked a little too old for you.” she joked with a slight sting behind her words that fueled your own jealousy.

“Where is your date, Flint?” you asked with a smile and she sighed.

“Clint, and he is pulling the car up.”

“Where did you, uh, meet him?” you asked and she crossed her arms, both of you not looking at one another. 

“I met him on a field trip here, this is only our second date.” she spoke softly and it set off a signal in your brain. She seemed more mellow than usual, she seemed unhappy and all out of pep. You thought maybe she was just tired but didn't want to ask. You decided to bite your tongue and not make any more remarks about the topic. Soon you saw a car in the distance pulling around and knew you didn't have much time.

“Melissa.” you said and she looked at you.

“Yeah hon?” 

"Who were you with at the club that one night?” the simple question came out rather judgemental and you looked down.

“My friends from work. Why do you ask sweetie?” she said and you felt your heart swell at the pet name. You felt your cheeks grow hot and she sensed your nerves. She knew you wanted to ask her something else and just couldn't find the push you needed. “I date whoever I want, hon.” she said casually, leaning closer to your ear and you furrowed your brows. She gestured around and you realized what she was alluding to and you nodded. 

“What did you really want to ask me?” she said and you looked down.

“I can't, not now, as much as I want to.” you said softly. You both turned to look at one another and Melissa smiled. 

“What’s there to lose?” she said and your eyes met hers, she could see the desire lit within your gaze, she knew exactly what you wanted. Now it was up to her to decide, she had you at her fingertips and she wasn't going to let this chance pass by.

“Who says anything has to happen sweetheart?” she said assertively and you just smiled. Clint came pulling up and you looked at Melissa. Clint got out of the car to open her door and she put her arm around your waist gently and looked at him with sympathy. 

‘Hey Clint, I'm actually going to take Y/n back to her hotel room. She isn't feeling too well and I want to make sure she gets there okay.” You didn't say anything and just hid the smile that crept at the corners of your lips.

“Oh ok I can follow and take you back to your place after?” he offered and she shook her head. 

“No, that's okay, i'll take a taxi. Have a good night thanks.” She looked at you with a smile and you grabbed your purse. 

“I'm driving this time.” you chirped and she laughed, grabbing your hand and walking to your car. The ride to the hotel was so tense you thought you wouldn't make it there without the car breaking down from the sheer weight of it. Your legs were spread slightly and your dress was riding up. Melissa tried to keep her gaze under control but you eventually caught her looking and smiled. Your cheeks flushed and you looked out the window. The wind coming in from the cracks of the windows chilled your face and made your cheeks grow rosy. The slight humidity in the air was comforting and you couldn't help but smile as you looked out at the streets. Soon you were arriving at the Hotel and you felt your chest tighten as you got out of the car. 

“This is a very nice hotel.” she said as you followed her in and you laughed. As you walked through the lobby you spotted the bar and looked at Melissa. 

“Are you tired?” you asked and she shook her head. 

“Want to get a drink?" you said, gesturing to the bar. 

“Always.” 

After two hours of talking and nursing a few beers as well as two cocktails and a shot, you and Melissa moved to just drinking water, and went to sit on the patio. You sat facing each other on the couch, your knees tucked up and your elbow resting on the back of the sofa. You and Melissa were talking about all kinds of things, getting to know each other, and joking around together. It was one of the best nights you’d had in a while, where you were truly having fun and getting to just exist in the moment. 

“Ugh do we have to go to bed? I could sit here talking all night” you stated simply and she smirked. As if she did it herself, you felt your throat dry up and you went to grab your water, taking large sips you felt a drop trickle down from the corner of your mouth and down your chin. Melissa let out a shaky breath and you set the glass down looking at her. She raised her hand to your face slowly, not taking her eyes from yours. 

“What do you want to do sweetie?” she said as her thumb wiped the water off your chin and you felt your chest go hot and your breathing grew shallow. You decided there was no going back now and you smiled. The drinks were flowing and you felt fuzzy, the kind of tipsy you usually only got from wine. 

“What I want to do isn’t appropriate.” you muttered with a grin, tearing your eyes from her and looking down into your water glass. 

“If you are gonna say things like that Y/n, say them with confidence.” she quipped and you looked up at her with big eyes that soon turned hazy. 

“Why were you on a date with Clint?” you asked as you were told to, your back straight, and your voice clear. 

“I have needs. I know he was an idiot.” she said simply.

“How many women have you been with?” you said swiftly and she looked down and then sucked her teeth.

“I don't think you want to know.” she shrugged and you furrowed your brows.

“I've never been with one.” you said looking at her with a shy gaze and her smile softened. She knew from the moment she first saw you that there was a sweetness in you and she could tell by your body language and the way that her words affected you that you were inexperienced and searching for the right woman's touch.

“I know hon.” she nodded and you felt your cheeks heat up again at how easily she saw right through you. The air grew thick as you admired each other and you looked over her face in awe. 

“Why did you kiss me that night?” The question left your lips softly but with speed, you didn't regret asking it though. 

“Do I need a reason?” she said with humor and you moved to sit closer, your knees touching hers.

“Why won’t you kiss me now?” you said with confidence, and you held the same challenging look on your face that Melissa had months ago. She smiled and looked you up and down slowly, your skin melting under her fiery gaze. Your core tightened and your eyes darted between hers. 

“Do you want me to, baby?” she said softly with a teasing tone and you felt your heart swell. Her hand moved to play with your hair as she looked in your eyes. Her eyes searched yours for the answer and you felt the weight of her gaze cause the rise of tension and lust to float in the air. You could feel your cheeks tingle like pricks of a needle on your soft skin. You nodded and she raised a brow, waiting for more. 

“Yes, I want you to kiss me.” you practically shouted with a laugh and she didn't hesitate to grab your waist and pull you in, her lips devouring yours as a hand moved to grasp your jaw. You moaned into the kiss and pushed your chest against hers as she moved her other hand from your hip to grab your ass. Her hand then slid under your thigh to hook under your knee and lift it to her hip, causing your core to press against her as you moved to straddle her. You felt a fire erupt in your core at the action and you swear her skilled mouth caused you to almost climax there and then. The heat between the both of you was so strong with one strong gust of wind you would have set the whole hotel ablaze. You moaned and she pulled away from the kiss, admiring your glossy eyes and puffy lips with her own lips being slightly pink around the edges. 

“What else do you want me to do?” she said out of breath and you just pulled her back in for a kiss, you let her tongue roam your mouth and find a pattern with your own. Your stomach grew hot and you felt your core tighten around nothing. You answered her question by grabbing her hand and moving it between your legs and she groaned into your mouth, causing a wave of arousal to wash over you. 

“God honey you are soaked for me huh?” she muttered between kisses and you nodded, she kissed along your neck as her hand moved your dress up and slid her hand into your panties. You moaned as she moved her fingers over your clit and pleased you with precision you weren't surprised by.

“Fuck Melissa- I want you so bad.” you whined out and she pulled away, removing her hand and grabbing yours. 

“Come on baby.” she said as you stood up and walked back inside, you headed to your room and the moment you got in the elevator Melissa was pushing you against the wall, her hands roaming your body as you tangled your hands in her hair, and moaned against her lips. The sounds you made echoed in the small area and only spurred Melissa on. The ding chimed loudly to alert you of your arrival and you broke away from her, digging in your purse for your key as you stepped out. Melissa kept an arm around your waist as you walked to your room, which you couldn't unlock due to the nerves and drinks in your system causing you to miss the slot. Melissa grabbed it from you and did it with ease and you smiled at her.

“Thank you.” You opened the door and led Melissa inside, shutting the door behind you and locking it. 

“Holy shit this is a nice room.” she said looking around and you nodded. When she turned to face you again, you were taking off your heels and pulling your dress off over your head. Her eyes grew heavy with lust and she walked over to you, cupping your face and pulling you in for a kiss, she backed you up to the bed and she pushed you back. You climbed up and sat against some pillows, your legs spread. She watched and bit her lip as she admired your frame. She took her own shoes off and hesitated. 

“Fuck you are gorgeous. You sure you want this baby? Once I fuck you, we can't go back.” she said firmly and you nodded eagerly. She slipped her own dress off and you felt your breath hitch at the sight of her. Her body was gorgeous, absolutely perfect. You wanted to feel her skin under your fingertips and trace her curves for the rest of your life.

“I want you more than anything I've ever wanted.” you said with a lovestruck voice and she smiled. 

She came up and straddled you, immediately kissing you again with force, her teeth sinking into your bottom lip earning a surprised and throaty gasp from you. She looked down at you and moved her hand to cup your center. You admired her as she rubbed circles on your sensitive core. Her eyes were sparkling, and her lips were turned up at the corners in a smirk. You moaned into her kiss as she continued to move her hand. Her thighs laid over yours and the warmth of hers around you felt like heaven. She pulled away to breath and you looked each other in the eyes, her hand came out of your panties and to your lips, she brushed her thumb over your lip and you looked at her with doe eyes. Your hands rested on her ass, and she looked down at you with a smile. 

“Open.” she said softly and you didn't hesitate to open your mouth and allow her to slip two fingers in. You sucked on them not tearing your eyes from hers as your tongue did circles around them. Melissa pulled them out of your mouth slowly before allowing them to return to their spot on your clit, your warm saliva touching your slit caused you to groan and Melissa kissed your open mouth, her tongue diving in and swirling around yours, finding a rhythm as you kissed back, you rocked your hips into her hand, causing her arm to press against her own center. Your hands squeezed her ass and nudged her towards you gently, she arched into you, her chest against yours as she continued to kiss you roughly. Without warning she slid her fingers into you and you let out a loud moan into the kiss and she smiled, pulling away to hover just above your mouth, your lips almost touching as she curled her fingers inside you, deep and rough. Your brows furrowed and your mouth opened as you rocked against her fingers. 

“You liked that baby?” she whispered in her deep voice and your stomach fluttered. You nod with a smile.

“Don't stop please.” you whine and she giggles.

“I wouldn't dream of it.” she pushes into you harder and faster and you feel the heat in your core grow hotter, a tight feeling forming in your sensitive and deprived cunt. She stayed hovering a mere inch above you as she moved her hips slowly and her fingers moved hard and fast. You rocked your hips into her faster and she looked down at you with a devious smile. She watched as your face contorted with pleasure and your eyes went glossy as you grew closer to your release. You moaned as you felt your legs press together and your back arched into Melissa. 

“Fuck, im going to cum.” you moaned into her and she smiled, finally kissing you again, this time slowly and tender. Her soft lips wrapping around yours gently and her fingers shoved into you caused quite the contrast and you felt your chest flutter from the contradicting emotions. Your brows furrowed and you squeezed around her.

“Cum for me baby, be a good girl and let it all out.” she said softly and your eyes snapped shut as you came around her fingers. You let out a loud moan as your legs tingle and you twitch under her slightly. You rode it out on her fingers and she pulled them out of you, bringing them to her mouth with a smile. You watched in amazement as her plump lips wrapped around her fingers coated in your flavor. 

“Fuck you are,” you paused looking up at her, the dim lighting around her caused her to glow, her hair cascading around her face that was dewy from the things she had just done to you. Her lips were pink and her eyes were full of mischief and lust. She looked stunning, she was stunning. How could you put into words how incredible she was. She raised a brow waiting for you to finish with a smile on her face. “Ethereal.” you finally said and she looked at you with a more serious gaze, trying to detect any underlying emotions you may have been disguising. 

“Well you aren't so bad yourself babe.” she laughed and you shook your head gently, still in your hypnotic state as you stared at her.

“No, I'm serious Melissa. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” you said with a serious tone and her smile faded as she looked at you. After a moment she looked down and sighed. 

“Thank you, hon.” she said as she moved off you and got off the bed, you watched her with confusion and your eyebrows scrunched together when she reached for her dress. 

“Woah hey, did I do something wrong?” you asked getting up to walk over to her and she quickly shook her head.

“No, not at all. You’re a wonderful girl Y/n, but we can't be doing this, I want you but you are young, and I don't want you to..” she paused, her hand going to her forehead and you looked down as you realized.

“Fall in love with you?” the words left your lips quietly and she looked at you up and down with sympathy. 

“I'm sorry I didn't think any of this through. I'm going to go, before anything else happens.” she said looking for her shoes and you shook your head, walking to stand between her and the hall to the door. 

“I know I'm young but I'm not some high school virgin that's gonna fall in love with you because we sleep together.” You scoffed and she shook her head. 

“No you’re not, but you have never been with a woman or been in a serious relationship with one, and I cant have this be your first.” she said, grabbing her purse. You stepped closer to her and she used all her strength to keep her eyes on yours. 

“Is this not what you wanted though?” you asked sharply, gesturing between you and she looked down. “You didn't want to see me naked, on display for you?” you asked as you moved to take off your bra. 

“Y/n-” she started, not looking at your body and you laughed as you slid your panties to the ground while you looked her in the eyes. 

“Tell me this isn't what you wanted. Tell me that you weren't dreaming about me after we kissed that night, that I didn't cross your mind while you touched yourself, that you didnt want to fuck me in that museum while my boss watches. That you don't want to touch me right now.” you said stepping closer, now only a foot from her, she looked into your eyes and let out a sigh.

“I-” she couldn't get the words out. Melissa was usually so quick-witted and good with words, but with you it was hard, and in this moment it felt impossible. You looked at her with a smirk, reaching to grab her hand, you placed it on your chest and she kept her eyes on yours. Slowly and effortlessly, you slid her hand over your breasts and down your stomach. Her breath hitched in her throat as she looked at you. 

“Fuck me.” she muttered under her breath, deciding to say fuck it and bringing her other hand to your waist, pulling you into her and kissing you with heat and aggression, she dominated the kiss and her nails dug into your hips as she kissed you with a desire strong enough to cause you to slam against the wall behind you, you moaned from the feeling, and she pulled away.

“Lay back on the bed baby.” she ordered and you nodded, moving to the bed once again. After many orgasms later you both eventually fell asleep, naked and tangled in the sheets, Melissa's warm body pressed against yours all night. 

--

A loud ringing song woke you from one of the best sleeps you have had in a long time. Annoyed and groggy you lifted your head to see what it was, you saw Melissa reaching for her phone and the noise stopped, but she brought it to her ear as she moved to get up out of bed. You watched her frame move gently around the room and she gathered her clothes from the floor and chaise. 

“Yeah I’m fine.” she said in a soft tone and you tried your best to hear who was on the other side. You heard a lower voice but couldn't quite make it out. “Mhm. Oh um, I can't go to brunch today but lets rain check.” You furrowed your brows as you turned to lay on your side and propped your head up on your hand, your naked body lay exposed aside from the sheet barely covering your cunt and one of your breasts. Melissa turned and saw you were awake and smiled at you as she looked for her shoes once again. “Oh dinner? Look Clint I have a busy day maybe next weekend? Ok yeah, bye.” She hung up and you raised your brow with a smile. “I'm gonna shower.” was all she said as she put her hair in a bun and took her undergarments into the bathroom with her. 

Your lips flattened into a disappointed expression and you looked around the hotel room at the mess you two made. Sheets were scattered around along with your own clothes. You got up and looked in the mirror, you had a bruise on your hip and you smiled at it. Thankfully she avoided leaving hickeys. You walked over to the bathroom and gently moved the handle to see if it was locked, it moved down and opened and you smirked. You shut it behind you and looked over at the shower. It was a large walk-in shower with glass walls and a built-in shower bench. A towel was thrown over the panel of the door, just barely blocking your view of Melissa's wet and naked body. As you put your hair into a bun, you walked over and opened the door, stepping in and coming up behind her, your arms coming to rest on her hips as your lips placed kisses on her shoulder. 

“You sleep okay?” you asked and she hummed as she turned to face you, turning you towards the water so you were wet too. 

“You did so good last night baby.” she praised you with a velvety voice as her hands roamed your body, she grabbed the body wash and put some in her hands, lathering it and placing her hand on you once again. She went over your arms and shoulders, turning you around to get your back as you washed your face, her hands moved over your hips and that's when she saw the bruise. 

“Oh hon, did I hurt you.” she said with a sympathetic yet teasing tone, her fingers moving to trace it gently, sending a chill up your back. You looked over your shoulder at her, placing a kiss to her soft lips and smiled. 

“No, I had a wonderful time.” you answered and she moved her hands to trail up your stomach and over your breasts. You turned to face her and cupped your hands to her cheeks and pulled her in for a kiss, you felt her wet breasts press against your chest and you moaned into her mouth, she took control, pushing you against the shower wall as her tongue moved around your mouth. You groaned and your hands moved to squeeze her ass and pull her into it, her knee came to sit between your legs and you pressed your core into it. Melissa pulled away swiftly and you opened your eyes, she was stepping out and grabbing her towel with a sinister smile. 

“Finish up baby, I'll be here when you get out.” she reassured you and then grabbed her things and walked out of the bathroom.�� You stood in shock, hot and bothered as the water grew colder on your skin. You did as you were told and washed your hair as you tried your best to hurry. When you got out of the bathroom, Melissa was dressed and fixing her hair into a ponytail, perfectly curled pieces falling to frame her face. 

“You know my boss said I could use the hotel for another night if I wanted.” you quipped looking at her seductively as you walked to your suitcase and got out a change of clothes. Melissa didn't say anything, she just got up and walked over to you. 

“I had a great night, and you are.. Amazing.” she started and your lips turned down slightly.

“But?” you said with a scoff and her brows pushed together.

“But it was a one time thing.” she said and you shook your head, you dropped your towel and started to put your clothes on as you argued back.

“Oh fuck off with that Melissa, there is no reason two adults cant have sex every now and then. Guess what we fucked last night and im not in love with you.” not yet at least your subconscious chirped and you rolled your eyes.

“I know, but like I said last night it's wrong of me to let this happen. I’ll see you around.” she said before grabbing her purse and heading out of the door. You stood in disbelief and put your shoes on, grabbing your phone and purse and heading out after her. You caught up to her and grabbed her arm.

“Let me drive you home.” You said and she looked at you for a moment.

“Fine, but I'm driving.” she said and you walked to your car giving her your keys. You sat in silence before grabbing your phone and texting your boss. You told her you wanted to stay another night and she liked the message before sending a witty response that made you smile. Melissa saw but didnt say anything and just kept her eyes on the road. She lived close so the drive was short and you walked her to her door. 

“Come see me tonight while I'm still in town.” You said as she opened the door. She turned to look at you and you smiled. 

“I cant.” 

“You absolutely can.” you quipped and she tilted her head.

“I shouldn't.” 

“Why not? Give me one good reason.” your tone was light, but your eyes didn't leave hers as she looked at you. 

“Your dad is married to my sister. That's my best reason, I'm sorry hon. Get back safe.” she said before shutting the door and leaving you on her porch. You felt your cheeks grow hot in frustration and heading back to your car, driving out of her neighborhood. You didn't know where to go so you just drove around, looking at the beautiful architecture of the city, you found a cinema and decided to go see a movie. 

By the time the movie ended the sun had just started to set and you looked for a place to get dinner. An idea popped into your head and you smiled, pulling out your phone. You texted Melissa asking her to go to dinner with you since you were alone in the city. However you felt your chest sink when she read the message and never answered. You scoffed and chewed on your lip. You didn't understand why Melissa even slept with you in the first place if she didn't really have to desire to. I mean were you bad? Screw this, you headed back to your hotel and decided to drive home.

The truth was Melissa was the one afraid of falling in love with you. She loved your personality and she felt butterflies all night while you two talked, fooled around, and slept together. However she was terrified of someone finding out and her sister, or your dad finding out and being uncomfortable. She figured she would just cut it off now and she wouldn't go to any parties if she knew you were going to be there. She wouldn't go back to the museum, and she would sit at the club every weekend, sifting through every crowd, looking for your smile. 

She did that for months. Just like when she kissed you, she created an unforgettable memory with you, then disappeared. Leaving you to get over the experience and pretend it didn't happen. 

--

This time it took a couple months to fully get over your night with Melissa. You would dream of it constantly. If you closed your eyes in the shower you would see her. If you went out you would look around the bars for her. You even stopped masturbating because you could only ever finish if you thought of Melissa. Eventually, with time you rarely thought of her. Some rare and rough nights she would plague your dreams, kissing you, fucking you, saying she loves you. Those nights you would wake yourself up and not go back to sleep. On the more lonely nights though, you would stay asleep, stay in the perfect illusion your mind created and wake up in a funk that would last a week. 

You were home for winter now and knew you were going to see Melissa at least once. You started mentally preparing ahead of time, and just hoped you would be able to be normal, but when you heard she was coming to stay for a few days you almost decided to just leave. Having no place else to go did pose a challenge, but you were worried about what those days would bring. She was coming to stay over for new years and you knew this setting was going to teach you a great lesson on self-control. You only hoped things wouldnt be awkward forever, and you hoped that your heart wouldn't fall out of your chest and into her hands upon your first glance.

[fantastic-nonsense]

I think people who genuinely wanted Percy to rebel against the gods and overthrow the system kind of...miss the whole point of the series

The question is not whether or not the gods deserve to rule; the books are kind of unambiguous that they don't! That the gods are generally undeserving of their children's loyalty is the one thing that Percy and Luke both agree on! But PJO is less about divine right to rule vs. ruling via consent of the governed and more about improving dysfunctional family systems. It's not about whether unfair rulers deserve to continue ruling; it's about forcing the gods to be better, fairer rulers and a better, fairer family given limited alternatives.

Because what are the alternatives, as presented to us within the scope of the original PJO series?

Option 1: allow Kronos to topple Olympus and take over. Clearly not a viable alternative for all of the reasons the books show us.

Option 2: the demigods overthrow the Olympians and rule the world themselves. Okay. How's that going to work out long-term, given demigods are mortal and cannot control or protect their parents' domains? Demigods will die out within a generation or two, so that's potentially a one-generation short-term solution, and then everyone's right back where they started. Except worse, because now the world has been out of divine balance for a century and the gods have a completely legitimate bone to pick with all demigods. Materially worse outcome.

Option 3: demigods ignore the gods and their will entirely. They integrate into the mortal world, refuse to participate in quests or talk to their parents, and pretend prophecies don't exist. Except that's clearly not a viable option, since we see that demigods usually can't safely exist in the mortal world without monsters coming after them, the gods are cruel enough to use blackmail and engage in hostage situations to get demigods to act as heroes, and prophecies have a way of coming true regardless of everyone's best attempts to circumvent them. Again: materially worse outcome.

And for Percy, for the demigods at Camp Half-Blood, for Luke and for everyone else who defected....for the most part, they don't actually have an inherent problem with the gods ruling them. They just want to be acknowledged, valued, and loved by their families, to be treated as more than a tool for their parents to wield whenever their services are needed. That was the core thesis of the demigod rebellion, which was wholly separate from Kronos' specific motivations for overthrowing the Olympians, and it's why Percy's asks at the end of TLO were what they were.

The point was always that had Percy grown up in a slightly more dysfunctional family environment...had he grown up with Frederick Chase's seemingly conditional love or May Castellan's madness instead of Sally Jackson's steady, quiet, unconditional love...he could have turned out like Luke. Like Ethan. Like the dozens of demigods who defected from camp to join Luke's cause. Percy could have turned out just as a bitter and angry and vengeful. Just as ready to tear down the system. Just as willing to betray and kill his own family for the sake of making a point.

But instead, Percy openly reprimands the gods for abandoning their families and using them as cannon fodder in their own petty disagreements. He forces them to acknowledge and claim their children. He demands that everyone who is part of the godly family be recognized and accepted, not just those related to the Twelve Olympians. He asks for those unjustly punished (like Calypso) to be set free and accepted back into the family. Because that's the point at the end of the day: not forcing bad rulers to step down, but changing an insanely dysfunctional family system that the gods and demigods are all members of into a better, safer, and more accepting environment for demigods to grow up and live in.

Overthrowing the gods wouldn't solve the problem at the heart of the series, which is the gods' shitty parenting and family management skills. It would only exacerbate the massive familial fault-lines that Kronos exploited and leave the demigods open to more godly manipulation. Which is why the series ends as it does, with Percy using his wish to tangibly improve the lives of his family instead of selfishly improving his own life (via accepting immortality/godhood) or overthrowing the gods. Because the conflict isn't about the gods as rulers. It's about the gods as parents.

PJO's core thesis is Percy, who grew up knowing unconditional familial love, looking at this whole world of children who didn't and saying "that's not fair. Gods should be better than this!" But instead of destroying them the way Luke wants to, instead of overthrowing them and putting himself on the throne, he instead challenges them to be better parents and family members. To be part of the solution instead of the problem. And Percy's demands don't solve everything, but they were necessary first steps! Without forcing the gods to acknowledge a bare minimum floor of inclusion, the cycle would simply begin all over again the next time a major conflict popped up.

So that's the problem Percy solves and how he successfully fulfills the prophecy: by believing that the gods had the capacity to change and forcing them to break the cycle of familial abandonment, he preserves Olympus and takes the first steps towards a new status quo, one that is objectively better for demigods than the one he grew up in. That's why he succeeds, and it's why Percy overthrowing the gods would have made for a much less satisfying ending than what actually happened.

[livefastdriveyoung]

In this era of social media, mental health consciousness, and open dialogue, the sheer magnitude of the way Logan’s story in F1 came to an end is diabolical.

It should not have happened.

But it did.

And it ends in the fact that there was no push back from those in the sport until after he was gone.

It took Logan being kicked out of the seat with nine races left for two fellow drivers to speak positively about him, for reporters to say hey he’s alone and has no support system maybe that is a problem.

That's where we're up to, where it ends.

Before this, we had Croft and Karun spending half of their dialogue talking about how much they don’t like him, how bad he is. Week after week. And yeah. He’s not the best by any means but it was nonstop.

Alongside that we have this constant dialogue from the higher ups at Williams that “Logan must do better, he is not where we need him, the mechanics are furious, they cheered for 45 seconds straight when we announced Carlos.”

Alongside that, There was a two sentence statement both times he got dropped. AFTER HIS REPLACEMENTS WERE ANNOUNCED.

Before that we have the team principal boot him from his car in the third race of the season for points they never scored.

And the abuse continued. Tumblr is pretty supportive of Logan, but if you spend time on Twitter or Instagram, it was abusive, how mean people were. 

Are.

When the rumors came out about James not talking to Logan, not giving him feedback, the statement was the first time we saw him mention anything related to his team principal. 

Funny how we were all flabbergasted but it was somehow believable. 

There have been signs that Logan was fading from Williams, that the sport was punishing him, since his first season. No birthday post for Logan, two posts for his contract renewal, one post about Lap of Legends featuring him only to be immediately dwarfed by Alex’s renewal.

Nothing about Logan’s improvements or teamwork, strictly what he did wrong.

Nothing Williams did has led me to believe they ever liked him.

And then the revelation that James had been trying to sign Carlos since before he signed Logan.

He would have had to be negotiating both contracts at the same time.

The same time.

Even when James had no replacements in mind according to the press, he was having hotel room meetings with another driver.

Because Logan was never the first choice. Not even the second. His selection was an act of desperation. His renewal was because of the sponsors and lack of options.

It must have been miserable.

And still, he speaks no ill. We know from many drivers about how they feel about their former teams. But he’s not going to say anything. I hope he winds up somewhere that respects him as a person, because it feels like Williams didn’t even do that. 

Because that is where it comes down to.

Where is the human decency? When did it become acceptable to put someone in the line of fire and leave them there?

He may not have been what Williams was looking for, but Logan Brought a lot of people to this sport, and for that, they owe him more than they could ever repay him.

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce broke his foot (again) and now someone needs to fill in as Batman. Who's donning the cowl and who's making calls to get off the planet so they don't have to do it?

Bruce: Casting calls are now live.

Duke, nervously getting onstage: Hi.

*microphone squeaks*

Duke: M-my name is Duke Thomas and I'm auditioning for the role of Batman.

Bruce: Show me what you got.

Duke: *clears his throat*

Duke, reading from a script: "Stop right there, Joker! Your days of evildoing have come to a—"

Duke: Actually, I have some notes. From a writer's standpoint, this reads less like the Dark Knight and more like a 60s sitcom.

Bruce: Next!

Selina: What better person to be Batman than the woman who has him wrapped around her finger?

Bruce: You know that's not how it works.

Selina: I've been practicing my quick change so I can be both of us in one fight. Come on, Bat. Can't bend the rules for the love of your life?

Bruce: I love you, but next!

Tim: I'm auditioning for the non-dictator Batman.

Bruce: Not taking any chances. Next!

Cassandra: *flips onstage in a series of elaborate acrobatics*

Cassandra: *beats the training dummy*

Bruce: Impressive. Now, I'll give you a scenario and you act it out as if you're Batman, okay?

Cassandra: *nods*

Bruce: A lost child walks up to you. What's the first thing you say?

Cassandra: You will make an excellent Robin.

Bruce: Yes—I mean, no. No. Next person, please.

Dick: I don't get why I have to audition. I mean, I was Batman.

Bruce: Hm, you're right. Let's give someone else a turn. Next!

Jason, in an improvised costume: I am the darkness. I am the night. I am...

Jason: *whips out guns*

*BANG BANG BANG*

Bruce: Next!

Stephanie: Can I try out?

Bruce: Sure, why not. Let's say you're negotiating a hostage situation. What do you say?

Stephanie: I'll give you Bruce Wayne's credit card if you let these people go.

Bruce: Next!

Barbara: I have programmed an advanced speaker system that will project your grunt from every gargoyle in the city.

Bruce: Grunting doesn't send people to Arkham. Next!

Damian: *walks in*

Bruce: No.

Bruce: Last one left is Kate.

Kate: Don't look at me, I'm just trying to find my keys.

Bruce, groaning: Patrol's in an hour. How am I gonna find a replacement?

Alfred: Master Bruce, perhaps I can substitute for you on the field.

Bruce: Thanks for offering, but I can't let you put yourself in danger like that.

Alfred: Then might I suggest, as Ms. Kyle said, bending one of your rules?

Bruce: Hm...

[later]

Joker: With a push of a button, I'm going to send this entire street sky high!

Clark dressed as Batman: Not if I can help it.

Joker: What is this, some sort of flying device?

Clark: Some changes were made.

Joker: Like what?

Diana, dressed as Batman: Like this.

Diana: *lassoes the Joker*

Joker: There's two of you?!?

Ollie, dressed as Batman, perched on a gargoyle: A little more than that.

Dinah, dressed as Batman: And we have some new tricks up our sleeve. Like this.

Dinah: *screams*

Arthur, dressed as Batman, bursting from the sewer: And this.

Arthur: *catches Joker in a whirlpool*

Hal, dressed as Batman, pointing his ring: And this.

Hal: *traps Joker in a ball*

J'onn, dressed as Batman: May I?

Zatanna, dressed as Batman: I want in too.

Hal: Okay, all of us on the count of three.

Everyone: *bounces Joker back to Arkham*

Barry, dressed as Batman: *runs in late*

Barry: Aw man, I missed it!