#i may have gone a little bit crazy yesterday
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Yesterday I was in Whitby, the place in which Bram Stoker set the novel Dracula. It's a regular-sized seaside town with lots of interesting naval history as well as folktales of ghosts, ghouls and pirates!
To the interesting part! I went on a replica of the HMS Endeavour, which had its maiden voyage in 1768, commanded by Captain James Cook. Of course I took my camera with me and I took many pretty pictures (See below)
Now for the next bit. I could not stop thinking about @ganymedian the whole time I was there. One might say I got Ganymedian brainrot. i understand why they enjoy ships and naval history so much now. I may have unlocked a new hyper fixation.
Anyways I wanted to commemorate my day with a piece of art inspired by Ganymedian's art-style mixed with some touches of my own style. I painted this almost completely while in a pub so it's missing a few things I would've added if I was at home but, without further ado, here it is. A watercolour portait of Captain James Cook!
#i may have gone a little bit crazy yesterday#HMS Endeavour#whitby#captain james cook#watercolour#art#photography#ship 🚢#ganymedian#thevw
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Daily Check-in: May 22, 2024 🎀
Wednesday was such a long day, a day for no reason at all. It was a good day, tho I ended the night all moody. But it was a good day!
🩷 What I Accomplished
24 Minutes of Leg/Thigh Pilates
studied Spanish for 25 minutes
morning journaled
did my morning skincare
took a nap before worked
worked a ~6 hour shift
did my morning routine
💞 Good Things That Happened
got to hang out with my work friend for a bit
made plans to go shopping with that work friend next week
got to talk with my dad a little bit
did really good at work despite walking in and being told I had one hour to prep my station for the 400+ people we had coming in that night
started studying Spanish again!!
💗 Stuff For Thursday
study spanish
do my morning routine
read
take a nap
go to my psych doctor and therapy appointments
go to an early dinner with my dad after my appointments
order some groceries + things I need for the next few weeks
send my friend my cashapp info
video call with my boyfriend tonight
💕 Song of the Day: BTS - IDOL
I have loved this song since I was like, 16 or 17? and I'm 21 now, and this is still a favorite of mine.
Dang, I was not as productive yesterday as I had thought. And there's not really much to do today either. Crazy! but I always enjoy the more mellow days, that's for sure! and I'm so excited to spend time with my dad today, I haven't gone out to eat with him in a while.
til next time lovelies 🩷
#pink pilates girl#pink pilates princess#self development#wonyoungism#it girl#mental health#self care#that girl#physical health#self love#it girl self care#it girl energy#that girl energy#becoming that girl#pink moodboard#pink aesthetic#pink blog#pink academia#pinkcore#pink#pilates aesthetic#clean girl aesthetic#clean girl#green juice girl#high value woman#feminine energy#langblr#studyblr#lifeblr#uniblr
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Dream Home
No one knows how it chooses, only that it does.
It is smart. It knows you. It has preferences. Maybe your mother has died, or you’re an alcoholic. Things like that. It likes people for whom the veil is thin. People who want to go home, even when they already are. It knows you want to go home, and is more than happy to oblige.
When it has decided on you, you won’t know it. But it may start to appear to you. You may, some dark evening, be standing at your sink, washing the dishes. You may look out of the window over the sink and see there in your yard a lone window, staring into your home like a great glass eye. When you go to the door, it will be gone. But it is not really gone. It is simply waiting for the right moment.
You will see it more and more. Unless you already know what it is, you will not understand. It will come a bit closer. In pieces, at first. Perhaps you will come home from work and at the edges of your mind be aware that the birdbath on your lawn is not yours. Perhaps there will be an extra step up to your porch, the wrong color, which will be gone when you turn around.
This is the manner in which it chews its food.
It will madden you. It will remind you, at all times, of the things about you which helped it to decide. You will lie awake and miss your mother, or miss the bottle, or miss the way the world used to make sense, and it will use that to hurt you. The more you hurt, the closer it can get to you.
Your life will slowly begin to show signs of stress. Hairline cracks will form, in your job, your relationships, your well-being. You will feel the urge to run, or hide, or both. You will want, more deeply than you thought possible, to go home. Home is not home anymore. Home is something else now.
Other people may start to notice. Your partner may ask you about those long, late walks you keep taking, and you will not have a good answer. Your boss may tell you to take it easy with all those late nights working, or he may dismiss you for your absences. You may be waiting for the bus some sunny afternoon and realize that the one of the windows in the building across the street is different. It is familiar. It is looking at you. When the bus comes, the other people waiting will board, glancing nervously over their shoulders at you, hoping you do not follow.
When you take those long walks around your neighborhood, pay attention to the houses. Are they all the same as they were yesterday? Did the portico on the corner always look like that? You may begin to notice the pattern. It likes you to notice. It’s a lot of effort, doing all this to you. Everyone likes a little recognition, from time to time.
But by the time it starts to get close, you may not even realize that you are being acted upon. You internalize it. You are the crazy one. You are the problem. The room where you wake up is not the one you fell asleep in—the ceiling too high, the windows all wrong—and then you blink, and it’s right again. Just a trick of the light, you will think, and dismiss that irrational bit of your mind that tells you something is very wrong. Ignore it, and go about your life. Enjoy that feeling while you can.
At night, lay awake in your bed and listen to the sounds of your home. The settling foundations don’t sound like they used to. Now they sound like breathing.
Eventually, you will not be able to take it anymore. You will break. You will scream at your surviving parent, or you will empty a bottle into yourself, or you will, all alone, take actions that you hope will make the world make sense again. Home is not home anymore. You cannot stay here anymore. And when you step outside, there it will be, in its entirety. Showing itself to you at last. You will see it, and your thoughts will instantly calm. You will forget the way things used to be. You will think, how did I never notice that house there before? What a handsome house. How well-designed a house this is. I wonder if anyone is home?
And then the porch light will click on.
Like the light on an anglerfish.
And the house will say, so quietly that you will think the thought is yours,
welcome home.
And then you will go home.
And it will be so happy to have you.
Listen to this story narrated by Heather Thomas on the Creepy podcast Patreon.
#now that the narrated version is out I can share the text! so glad this piece has found a home on such a cool podcast#writing#haunted house#haunting house#horror fiction#original fiction#mine
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Hi 👋
Since you said it's ok to reach out, please don't mind me dumping my thoughts on the cancellation news :
OFMD and it's fandom, even though I'm very much a lurker, is so important to me. The last few years have been really chaotic and not in a good way. My life has turned out very different from what I've imagined and I've had to give up many of the things that brought me joy.
The doses of serotonin I got from OFMD and its fandom, even by just scrolling tumblr a few mins, made all the difference to keep me going. Now I'm sad and a bit fearful that life is going to be that little bit harder, and that I've lost something to look forwards to.
I'm sad for the cast and crew and the fandom too. And depressed thinking about the future of art. I have a hard time imagining a positive future, both on a global and personal level, and I fear corporate bullshit is ruining human creativity and storytelling.
I am grateful though to cast, crew and fandom. We really got something so special with OFMD. I feel a bit guilty for not having the time and energy to contribute much, and I was hoping that if season 3 had happened, I would by then have had more to give.
Thanks for everything you do for the fandom 💕
Hi friend! Ooo I love your icon btw. Yes please! My dms and asks are always open (sometimes I'm a bit late getting back to them because of time differences and crazy work situations but I do try to get back to you within 24 hrs, especially now!)
Can I just say, I really appreciate you sharing this with me and the crew? I know it's really hard to talk about these kinds of things, especially when you're already feeling upset, and I am so honored you felt safe enough to share it.
First, and foremost, I totally get that guilty feeling, like you didn't have time to do enough. But you know what? You did plenty. You were here lurking, and participating in the background. Not all of us have enough spoons to do crazy things every day to support our show, and that is 100% okay. The fact that you kept yourself going is exactly what needed to happen, and I'm so glad you found some solace in the OFMD fandom. The most important thing is you are here with us, and you're getting something good out of this wonderful community.
The situation seems dire right now, I know. It's so hard because it feels like "Well maybe if we just did x more" it would be enough, but the hard truth of it is, it wouldn't. You are right, the corporate greed out there is ruining human creativity and storytelling. However-- I think this is a wonderful opportunity for us to keep fighting the good fight for exactly those things.
Every piece of art... or fic... or cosplay, or drink or any creation really, inspired by the show has the power to fuel creativity in others. We are creative creatures, and I know I, like you, had given up for a long time many of the things that brought me joy. This community, this fandom, this show, is fueled by creativity, and love and joy and inclusivity, and that is a beautiful thing, and that is certainly not gone. Even if we don't get an s3 now or ever-- that spark, that inspiration is still there in all of us. They can't take away the way that show made us feel.
You feelings on worrying life is going to be a bit worse are absolutely valid hon. I spent all yesterday afternoon crying my damn eyes out because I felt like I finally had something I could continue to support and fight for, and that I may have had some semblance of control over and it was taken away. Your grief and fear are so damn valid. I'm also feeling very strongly about "I have a hard time imagining a positive future, both on a global and personal level". I'm lucky to be a part of a community where when I expressed those same concerns people gave me some great ways to help cope and put my energy into. @celluloidbroomcloset passed on this nugget: "So I've got friends who are, like, Activists with a capital A, and from what they've said a good place to direct efforts when you feel helpless is at local levels. Can be politics, homeless advocacy, queer orgs, environmental, etc. or other orgs within your area, etc. Because a lot of change can happen more easily at the local level and you can engage with people more readily in those spaces and make a difference. It breaks down the bigger issues into something more manageable with real, visible outcomes." Please know friend, you're not alone in these fears, we're all feeling them right now, and I'm really happy you felt like you could reach out and talk about them. If you wanna talk more please feel free to DM me. Thank you for all your kind words to the community and the cast & crew too, I know they need it just as much as we do at the moment. You are a super human <3 Take care and get some rest, and when you feel up for it, please come back to us and keep loving the things in this fandom :) We're all still here.
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Just Another Day (Chapter Two)
Word Count: 4,860
Warnings: Logan Angst, Sickfic, Fever, Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort (with actual comfort this time), Stream of Consciousness mixed with actual fully-written scenes, and All sides are present in this fic
Read Chapter One First
AO3 Link
--
He kept flinching away, Virgil noticed.
A part of him wanted to be grateful that it wasn't just him now, but all the other sides, too, that Logan was avoiding every time he was awake enough to recognize they were there with him. But, given Logan's last little freakout, it probably meant that something about the other sides was unsettling him so badly that he didn't want them there.
Well, maybe if he'd actually eat on his own or just get some actual sleep, then he'd stop having a stupid fever and feel better already…
Virgil felt a bit guilty for wanting Logan to just hurry up and get better already, but he couldn't help it. He had to hear Janus explain that Thomas was better from his fever the other day but was still dealing with a mental fog, likely thanks to whatever Logan was dealing with now. It's like the two were linked in some crazy way and managed to get each other sick.
If Thomas ever gets sick again after this, Virgil wasn't going to let there be an argument about it ever again. The man's going straight to bed, or better yet, a hospital! He should also probably make sure he's up to date on all his vaccines, too, just to be sure. This can't ever happen again. Not to Thomas and not to Logan.
"His fever has finally gone down a bit," Janus was telling Patton, who still looked distraught since the moment he even found out that Logan didn't seem to be doing too well. That hadn't been a fun conversation.
"He'll probably be back to himself in no time, alright?" Janus, of all sides, was trying to reassure Patton. Virgil hated that he couldn't tell if he was lying, even if it was only to make Patton feel better, but he certainly wouldn't put it past him. It was kind of his thing, after all.
Patton seemed to be cheered up ever so slightly by the news, however, so at least there was that.
He really hoped Logan was actually getting better.
--
"How's he doing?"
Roman turned to see Patton peek his head in, concern deep in his expression.
It was now the second day of them keeping a watchful eye over Logan. Roman was sitting in the chair they'd moved next to Logan's bed. He was keeping himself occupied with a coloring book and a box of crayons. It didn't take too much to keep him entertained while letting Logan sleep.
Speaking of…
"He keeps tossing and turning, but it's still better than yesterday," he informed Patton.
Patton stepped into the room and walked over, patting Logan on the head, only for him to shift away, turning on his side.
Roman sighed.
"I don't know what else we can do. I tried adding those pillows yesterday, but …well, you saw what happened. I guess he just can't get comfortable."
Patton gasped and then smiled wide.
"I may have just the thing!"
Roman watched, confused, as Patton ran off, ducking back out to the hallway in a hurry. He had no idea what he could possibly have planned, and he certainly didn't expect to see Patton return a minute later with an enormous stuffed animal in his arms.
It was a big white unicorn, nearly three feet tall, with bright, neon pink tufts of hair for a mane and a shiny rainbow horn sticking out of its head. The way its pink-colored hooves bounced as Patton walked back in, it was clear the unicorn's legs have more weight to them than the rest of the stuffed animal. Optimal for hugging, in fact.
Patton strode right up to Logan's bed and set the large plushie next to Logan with a triumphant grin. "That should do the trick!"
And somehow, he was right.
Roman watched as Logan turned over again on his other side again, almost instantly pulling the unicorn to his chest like it was meant to be there. He seemed to calm down right away, relaxing his shoulders and everything.
Finally.
It may have looked ridiculous for Logan to do such a thing, but if it got him to sleep more soundly, Roman would leave it be. He could just tease him about it later when he was no longer sick.
--
Logan woke up again, holding something soft to his chest. He tiredly opened his eyes, seeing only white fur with pink tufts sticking out… Oh! Palindrome, his stuffed unicorn! He hadn’t seen it in so long.
He squeezed it tighter to his chest, only to remember…he’d gotten rid of Palindrome over a year ago. So why was it here?
He glanced around to see he was still in his room. His mind seemed far clearer as he looked around some more and recognized everything was in its place, save for a new chair set next to his nightstand with a very bored-looking Janus sitting in it, flipping quietly through a book that Logan was fairly certain was from his own collection.
“…Janus?” he tried to say, but his voice came out exceptionally raspy. Wow, his throat really hurt, actually. Like he’d somehow managed to swallow barbed wire, the prickling sensation worsening as he tried to adjust to sit up on his elbows.
What on earth happened?
Janus looked over at him and quietly shut the book in his lap and set it aside.
"Hey, how are you feeling?” he asked him, an odd expression on his face. He seemed to be looking Logan over instead of just looking at his face. “Still tired?”
Logan narrowed his gaze at him, trying to decide what he meant by that. His mind seemed to be slow to give him his usual deductive reasoning, but was he implying Logan was tired earlier? Why would he ask that?
He opened his mouth to ask for clarification but somehow managed to choke on air, and let out a pathetic cough into the side of Palindrome’s head.
He frowned. Oh, he really hadn’t meant to do that.
“Thirsty?” Janus asked, and as Logan looked up again, he noticed a water bottle being held out to him.
He took it, aware that his arms felt very weak. He tried to sit up just enough so he could take a quick sip of the water, and then he finally asked the burning question…
“What… Uhm, what happened?”
Janus stared at him for a moment, that same unreadable expression on his face.
“It seems you had a fever, Logan,” he finally answered, leaning back in his chair again.
Logan waited, but Janus didn’t continue.
“Care to elaborate?” Logan asked, now trying to sit up properly and lean back against his headboard. It was more of a struggle than he expected, but he managed it regardless. He set Palindrome at his side, trying to resist the urge to hug the stuffed animal for comfort that he knew he didn’t need.
“Depends,” Janus responded, almost cryptically. “What do you remember?”
Logan sighed. He sure didn’t remember having a fever, but unless Janus was lying – which was extremely likely – then he couldn’t really be sure of anything that happened after Thomas had started feeling off and had thrown up yesterday…
“Oh,” he realized, “Thomas was sick."
Janus nodded. “Yep, had a fever, and then you managed to catch one, too.”
Ah, a fever probably wasn’t good, now that he thought about it. Though, Logan wasn’t even sure the sides could become ill. Patton and Roman had claimed to be sick a few times over the years, but they seemed to always be fine after having one of the others take care of them for a couple hours. He’d honestly thought they were just in need of some relaxation and special attention, not actually sick in the way a human could be, but maybe he’d been wrong.
It certainly wouldn’t be the first time…
“Is he doing better now?” Logan couldn’t help but ask.
Thomas’ health was definitely the priority here, so he ought to make sure.
“Considering it’s been about three days since his fever broke and he’s gone right back to normal? Yes, I’d say he’s doing much better.”
Janus looked over at him then, as though waiting for something.
Logan blinked, glancing away. Wait…three days? “Did you say three…? But wasn’t that just…”
How could that have been three days ago? Thomas had only gotten sick just yesterday! How long had Logan been sick then?
How long had they had to put up with him being out of it, especially if he couldn’t even recall a single moment from the whole ordeal? Hopefully he hadn’t completely inconvenienced everyone or kept Thomas from any important activities. Three days was such a large amount of time.
He sat up some more. He looked across the room to his desk, where his laptop sat open and ready for work.
Maybe he should check his schedule, just to see how far behind he had gotten…
"You really don’t remember then? Any of it?” Janus asked, some sort of emotion lacing his words. But what emotion was there, Logan couldn’t be sure.
He looked over at Janus. He seemed bothered.
Oh, no.
Had Logan done something burdensome? He didn’t know what it was, but he hoped he could make it up to him and the others. There were far too many possibilities if it occurred due to illness. Maybe it wasn’t anything too awful and a quick apology and some acts of kindness would suffice?
"I’m sorry if I bothered you in any way,” he told Janus right away, trying to adjust and move the blankets off so he could stand. His arms were still shaking a bit, but he needed to get back to work quickly if things had really been that bad. “I can assure you it won’t happen again.”
Janus eyed him as he tried to stand on wobbly legs. He rolled his eyes before sighing heavily and reaching over to push Logan back down onto the bed.
"Don't get ahead of yourself," Janus told him flatly. "You're probably not fully well just yet."
Logan wanted to disagree, but he couldn't be sure. He looked over at his nightstand, seeing his glasses lying there, so he picked them up and put them on. His eyes adjusted slowly and with his vision clearing, he felt confident he was probably fine after all.
"If you don't remember, perhaps I should fill you in," Janus offered.
Logan glanced over at him, and Janus took the opportunity to explain in vague detail that Logan hadn't been seen by the other sides most of the day after Thomas had initially gotten his fever.
Once Thomas was better, they'd all assumed everything was fine…until they realized Logan was missing, so they'd gone looking for him. Apparently he was in his room, dazed out of his mind, sitting at his desk for some reason. Virgil and Remus got him to bed, but when they came back to check on him, he'd gotten up again and each time was either wandering around aimlessly in his room or sitting at his desk again, doing nothing.
"It was frustrating how many times we had to redirect you because you wouldn't sleep, for whatever reason," Janus said with a laugh.
Logan grimaced. That sounded very annoying for them.
"Apologies. I hope it wasn't too much of a problem."
Janus looked at him.
"It wasn't a problem."
Again, Logan wasn't sure what emotion was there in Janus' words, but there was definitely something. He felt awful not being able to assign it, but that had never been his forte, after all. He couldn't be expected to understand something that he wasn't meant to, even if he kept trying and failing for years at this point to do just that.
Janus sighed, continuing his explanation,
“By the next day, things got… well, they got a bit intense there for a while.”
Logan wasn’t sure he wanted to know what that meant. He found out anyway.
“You seemed terrified any time you were awake and one of us tried to help you with anything. A single touch had you backing away, even if we were just trying to get you to drink some water..”
Oh. Logan tried to remember why that might be, but his mind didn’t supply him a reason. He didn't find himself typically afraid of the others, so there was no reasonable explanation for him to do such a thing.
“And when you slept, you seemed to have nightmares. Painful ones, from the looks of it.”
Well, that probably wasn’t fun to deal with, either. No wonder Janus seemed bothered.
"Around the height of your fever, you had somehow managed to get out of bed and run across the room, tried to grab���I think it was a letter opener? Who knows what you were planning to do exactly, but when we finally stopped you, you…said you were trying to die for us.”
Janus stared at him, willing him to remember. But Logan didn’t remember anything like that at all.
Why would he have done something like that?
Perhaps his mind believed he was in danger or maybe they misunderstood the situation? That's such an odd response, though, even for someone who's ill.
“That…sounds burdensome,” Logan stated, in lieu of having anything else to say. “I’m sorry.”
Janus sighed, leaning back again.
"You really don’t remember? At all?" he asked again.
Logan shook his head.
“Well, there goes my hope of getting some answers at least,” Janus responded. “And what about all the mumbling you made in your sleep about Thomas replacing you?”
Logan froze. Well, that he remembered, but not from his time being sick. He’d been sure for quite a long time now that Thomas ought to replace him, find a suitable Logic that functioned and performed adequately, who didn’t constantly cause problems and instead fixed them like he was meant to. Had he mentioned that out loud?
“Uhh…”
“And something about not being productive enough? Being useless?” Janus added.
Logan swallowed, a pain in his chest rapidly starting to ache. Had he really said that? He was hoping none of them would find out how badly behind he'd been on his work.
He was able to get most of Thomas’ necessary tasks taken care of every day, but as time went on, his energy always seemed to dwindle, and lately, he’d been downright terrible about keeping proper tabs on everything. He had been covering it up well enough so that it wouldn't bother anyone or cause further problems, but that clearly wasn’t the case anymore if they knew.
How was he going to fix this? Did this mean they would replace him, after all? They would have to, right?
His breath felt shallow. But he'd been expecting to be replaced eventually, hadn't he? He was certain this was supposed to happen, just not so soon!
His throat felt tight, and his mind started racing, but it seemed Janus wasn’t finished yet.
“Oh yeah, and then there was a remark in there about how this was supposed to happen. Does that ring any bells to you?”
Logan squeezed his eyes shut, trying to breathe steadily, but absolutely failing.
Yes, of course he had thought about these things for quite a while, but none of the others were ever meant to know about it!
He was supposed to keep existing until the moment he could finally resolve all those problems he'd tallied up over time, even if the biggest problem was himself. He was supposed to stay for as long as he was useful, even if he’d already been found to be useless. He never wanted them to know how pathetic he was and had been all this time. He'd wanted to fix things before Thomas found out, at the very least.
What would he do now? Janus couldn’t have been the only one to know. What would the others do? Did Thomas know already? Were they replacing him already? What was going to happen to him?
He was supposed to have more time to fix everything before it had to end. He'd thought about it so much, but he was only biding his time and getting what little done that he could, then he would address it outright with Thomas, because he deserved to know…just not yet! It was supposed to happen, just not yet!
Was this inevitable? Was this always going to happen, the truth would come out before he had the chance to fix everything, even if he hadn’t somehow fallen ill?
Logan’s mind wouldn’t shut up or let him catch up on everything. He tried not to panic, but none of this could possibly end well.
Would it even end at all?
"Logan, breathe, please!” Janus pleaded next to him.
Oh. He wasn't breathing. That's probably what that pain was. Oh, no.
“You’re going to be okay," Janus told him.
He wasn't going to be okay. He messed everything up and hadn't even figured out a way to fix it!
"I wasn’t trying to confront you about this right now," Janus continued. "I just wanted to see if you had remembered… Perhaps, not my best move, all things considered.”
How could this have happened? What was he supposed to do now? He'd have to change everything, but if they all already knew, what could he possibly do to fix it? He couldn't fix anything! But if he couldn't fix anything, Thomas and the others would still be left with all the problems he'd left unresolved!
They'd all be so disappointed. They probably already were.
His chest ached.
He tried to imagine how the others would have reacted, but all he could think about was how he hadn’t wanted to hurt anyone or make them think they’d done anything wrong. He wasn't supposed to leave them with any burden. But now he’d gone and bothered everyone for no reason!
They all knew he’d been useless to Thomas and believed he deserved whatever fate came of that…
They must have been so upset with him.
“Logan.”
But it wasn’t as though this was the first time, right?
“Keep trying.”
They would never understand. He wouldn’t be able to make them understand. He already knew that from the start.
“Please.”
He really should have expected this.
…something about that thought was far too sobering.
He took in a deep breath and his vision seemed to clear up. Right, breathing is a good thing. Of course.
He managed to get in another deep breath, but it still felt as though his throat was tight and his heart was beating way too fast. What was wrong with him?
"There we go," Janus said in barely a whisper. "Honestly, I thought I was going to have to do it for you again."
"Again?" Logan squeaked out, looking up at him. "What… do what again? What do you mean?"
Janus frowned.
"When you were panicking before, when you were still feverish, you had tried to hurt yourself… You wouldn't calm down, so I…helped," he explained, then looked away. "Or tried to, anyway."
"How?" Logan couldn't help but ask, his breathing finally starting to slow back down. His chest hurt. Everything hurt.
"It's just a trick I know," Janus replied. "I have so very many of them, after all."
Logan watched as Janus leaned back, looking more like the Janus he knew rather than the worried mess he'd awoken to. Maybe that was a good thing?
Janus turned back to him then, squinting as he added, "You know, I haven't used that one on anyone in years. It just makes you calm down really fast, it's better for things like panic attacks. Virgil had gotten so mad the last time that I used it on him, he…" Janus trailed off, covering his mouth. "But it sure seemed like you needed it. I can only hope it actually helped."
Logan blinked.
"If I could remember, I would tell you."
Janus nodded. "I believe you. But I would also rather not have to do it again… which means you'll need to talk to me, or at least someone about what's been going on."
He stared at him intently, and Logan tried not to react, without making it obvious he was pointedly ignoring the suggestion. He let himself breathe, trying to get back to some semblance of normal.
"Those kinds of thoughts rarely spring from nothing, Logan," Janus remarked.
Logan didn't really want to think about it, if he were honest. It was always so much harder to understand if he let himself think about it. There had been so much and he had no desire to see the consequences of these actions anytime soon.
But clearly Janus wanted him to make a decision anyway.
"I'm aware," he responded. "I'll consider it."
Janus just continued to stare.
"Please do."
They, thankfully, didn't discuss it further. Janus let him rest a while longer before insisting he eat something.
Logan tried not to think about everything that was being left unsaid.
--
It was when Patton visited him again later that day that he decided to address the issue with the stuffed animal. The issue being that it wasn't meant to be in his room anymore.
“Did you bring this here?” Logan asked, holding out the stuffed unicorn plushie so that Patton could take it back. Sure, he could admit that he had missed Palindrome, but it wasn’t as though anyone else would know that.
Patton smiled brightly, taking the stuffed animal into his arms and letting its big hooves wiggle back and forth as he gave it a quick hug.
“Oh, Palindrome had shown up in my room a while back,” he told him, taking a seat in the chair that still sat next to Logan's bed. “I tried to return her when she first appeared, but you said she wasn’t lost. You said… I think you said something about not needing her anymore?”
Logan recalled why he’d willed the stuffed animal away in the first place. He wasn't meant to keep sentimental items in his room anymore, so he put them away in storage and got rid of them entirely. He wasn't sure where Palindrome would end up, but considering Patton seemed to already have an ever-growing collection of stuffed animals in his room, it certainly didn't surprise him that it ended up there.
“That sounds about right," he replied.
Patton continued, “I figured I would let her stay with me until you needed her again, so I gave her as many puzzles I could find to play with, and any time a new book showed up, I’d give it to her to read! She seems to really like them!”
Logan wanted to be grateful, but he didn’t understand why Patton was telling him all of this.
"…this doesn’t really answer my question, Patton. Clearly, you brought her here… I mean… Uhm. You returned this stuffed animal for a reason, right?”
He didn’t like sounding attached to an inanimate object, but that didn’t seem to matter to Patton as he replied with a laugh,
“Well, sure!” Patton pushed the unicorn back into Logan’s lap, tilting the animal’s head up at him. “You needed Palindrome back, didn’t you?”
Logan grimaced. “I don’t think—”
"Whenever I’m sick, my stuffed animals are always the biggest comfort when I’m trying to sleep,” Patton explained. “It only makes sense that Palindrome could help you be comfortable, too. Isn’t that just logic? It has to be.”
Logan wasn’t sure what it was, but it definitely wasn’t logic. Not that explaining that would help matters. He sighed.
“While I appreciate the gesture, Patton—”
“Will you keep her, then?” he asked Logan earnestly.
Logan paused and looked away. He really should just get to the point with this.
He handed the stuffed toy back to Patton yet again.
“Like I said, I don’t need a stuffed animal. And certainly not to sleep comfortably.”
It was the truth. He didn’t require comfort, let alone comfort items. He’d willed the unicorn away last year because it was beyond time for him to stop clinging to a toy so unnecessarily. If anything, Patton seemed the exact type to enjoy having an extra stuffed animal around, so it was best for him to keep her, not Logan.
Logan didn't need it, Patton wanted it, so this just made sense.
He’d made up his mind about this.
Patton leaned forward ever so slightly.
“She misses you.”
…what?
Logan whipped his head back to see Patton staring right into his eyes. He tried not to squirm under such harsh attention but failed as he started to shift uncomfortably.
Patton reached out, setting the unicorn right back on Logan’s lap resolutely, and then continued to look at him with determination.
“I don’t want her to think she’s alone,” he told Logan, his voice and eyes portraying true honesty, “even with all her friends around her. I know she likes to do things by herself, but I think it’s important that she at least have that chance for comfort when she needs it most.”
He gave the smallest smile after that. “Don’t you agree?”
Logan wasn’t sure what to think.
Palindrome was just some stuffed toy. Easy to toss aside and forget. Even easier to replace, with something better, more suitable. It's as though the damn thing was built to be useless, as though it was meant to be tossed aside eventually. Even if he had kept it around for a long time until now, why would Patton or anyone else think anything important could ever come from such a thing?
“What if she doesn’t need it?” Logan asked.
Patton’s smile faded.
“Everyone needs it. Even if it’s in a different way than we expect, but that’s okay. It’s always okay.”
But it’s so excessive. They didn’t need to waste time providing comfort for someone—for something that didn’t deserve it, that didn’t appreciate it! It couldn’t care, it couldn’t reciprocate, it couldn’t do anything that could ever help anyone else! It was useless!
“Wouldn’t it be easier to just get rid of her?” he asked, his voice almost a whisper.
Why not just remove the problem? Why wouldn’t they just make things easier for themselves instead of trying to cater to something they didn’t even understand? It’s not like he could even begin to tell them--
“I don’t think so. I think she’s right where she belongs.” Patton reached out to pet the fur on top of Palindrome’s head, adding softly, “But it looks like maybe her friends could have done a better job at reminding her of that… but they want to try now. Do you think she’d let them?”
Logan peered down at the unicorn in his lap, trying not to cry. This felt awful, it felt wrong.
"What if she’s scared it will only make things worse?”
Why was he playing along with this? What could this possibly accomplish? Nothing was ever going to change, so why even try?
“I think she deserves the chance to see what it could be like, Logan.”
His breath came out shakily as he tried to hold back the tears building in his eyes. There was so much that didn’t make sense, so much that could go wrong, but they wanted to do this anyway? He didn’t understand why they would bother.
Logan squeezed at Palindrome’s sides, still resisting the urge to hug her. He didn’t deserve that comfort, he knew that. It didn’t stop the thought from invading his mind, though.
Any time these pesky emotions stirred up, he knew all the books and research he’d read claimed he needed to examine them and then feel them and move on, but it was as though a tightly locked door was between him and these feelings, and even if he tried to open it willingly, he couldn’t seem to get inside, even for just a look.
He knew he would never be able to understand himself or what he was feeling. Nothing would ever change that. And it was his own fault. No one else should have to deal with that. It wouldn’t be fair. He was supposedto handle this on his own.
“Logan,” Patton reached out, just barely laying a hand over his arm. “Do you think you could try?”
He wasn’t sure. It didn’t seem like the right thing to do, but he just wasn’t sure. He… he wanted to, but he was terrified to know what would come of it. He wanted to but he didn’t want to bother them with all of this. He wanted to, but he couldn't possibly convince himself he would ever deserve it.
But he wanted to.
And he wasn’t sure he’d ever wanted much of anything before, except for things to finally end.
Maybe this was a different way… a better way.
He held his breath and looked up at Patton.
And nodded.
#logan angst#logan sanders#fanfiction#ts logan#long post#sanders sides#catch me finding an excuse to finally write something involving logan having a giant stuffed unicorn plush#bc i drew him crying and hugging one years ago and im tired od pretending that it's not my favorite headcanon
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you know, i’m starting to get a little depressed about alex being on bluesky.
the big social media sites are coming down fast and it’s only a matter of time before it all goes that way (if you don’t believe me, look at threads as of late: i looked at one post outside of my feed two days ago and that’s all my feed is now. i have to scroll way down to see my friends or anyone i follow anymore. and i’ve learned that that’s usually the kiss of death for sites because that tells me their algorithm is too sharp for its own good. pinterest went that way and as a result, i stopped using it about two years ago). the general collective is too polarized for its own good so you have sites like truth social and bluesky being wildly popular and the carved little spaces to be your weird self, i.e., the era before social media grew absolutely gargantuan, back when sites looked different from each other, is pretty much buried at this point. trust me, “it looks like a twitter” is not a good thing.
worst case scenario, i never see him again.
the other thing about it that depresses me is, like i said yesterday, he’s like me in that he errs on the liberal side but he’s not *that* liberal, though—that was one of the reasons why i was so drawn to him back in 2020, he was like the one person on twitter who wasn’t shrieking his lungs out and he felt like a breath of fresh air to me. and now he’s resorted to truth social for the left because Twitter is too far gone now. not his fault at all, that’s not at all what i’m saying. what i’m saying is we as a whole have completely lost the plot and have fractured the things that were meant for all of us. what i’m saying is we as a whole have made everything overly black and white when life just isn’t like that. this is bad.
and this has nothing to do with it but i still think whatsername is a bad influence on him. take your pick from putting him in situations where he can very easily be bit or cut and exposed to things like parasites and rabies, to recommending him “healthier” food and let me explain this: i think it’s just a lifestyle thing but his weight has really been all over the place in the last couple of months alone. (i’m putting my own pleasure principle on the back burner here with this, too). a huge part of my own weight loss has been eating a lot less: it’s why i was able to lose 100 pounds at this point and be a baker and surround myself with sugar and butter; i don’t eat nearly as much as i used to 100 pounds ago. it could just be a metabolic thing (he is in his mid-50s now, your metabolism does slow down as you enter your 50s), but trust me when i say this: if he’s trying to lose weight, i’m afraid he’s not going to get very far with it because he’s actually not eating very healthy. he may be eating something vegan and healthy in her hollow, dead eyes, but he enjoys his pastries, though. and when i say this, this is not me being kinky. it’s me thinking that he’s trying to escape from her and he’s feeling guilty about it.
today is international men’s day. back right the fuck off. men need as much love and respect as we get, and they don’t have nearly as much resources as we do in dark situations, and he’s a good example of that. if anything, he’s why i’m like this, being all boy crazy and writing this. i’m as temperamental as i’ve been lately because i love him and i care about his wellbeing and i fucking despise her. a big part of why i’ve gotten into jewish recipes is because of him (and also me being a “mensch”). i do it out of love. everything i do is out of love.
i miss the 2021-2022 era of alex, when he was sweet and friendly to all of us. now he’s got his head so far up her ass that he’s going to drown in her shit.
“the butcher” is a nickname well-earned. and now i burn.
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Thess vs Gunpowder, Treason and Plot
You know how sometimes you feel like there's a scream trapped under your ribcage like a frantic bird? Or maybe it should be, you know how you constantly feel like there's a scream trapped under your ribcage like a frantic bird and sometimes it's more active than others? Well, mine is currently flailing like an angry fucking swan.
I'm going to have to write an email to Scruffman about New Girl. I'm fed up. That email will read, "Dear [Scruffman], I wondered if you could have a word with [New Girl] about working in chronological order when she types. I had reason to note that yesterday she was typing all of that day's typing while we still had a large number of reports from the previous day to type." And I may add, "I felt obliged to work an extra twenty minutes yesterday to clear Monday's typing so that we would remain more or less on schedule, which would have been unnecessary had she gone through the queue chronologically". Because I did - and that was after I stepped out to go to the shops for some necessary bits. She is driving me fucking crazy, and I was left with so many of the long-ass bits of typing and the complicated accents and I know that's part of the job but it feels hideously unfair that I should be the one stuck with it all because I'm the only one who seldom cherry-picks what typing they want out of the queue (and then only when I have done ten long-ass complicated bits of bullshit in a row and refuse to do every single one of them just because the rest of my colleagues can't be arsed).
And of course the US election is today and I am nervous as fuck. It's not just about my friends in the US, either. I mean, it's a lot about my friends in the US, but ... seriously, this country went to the right wing idiocy place when Trump got elected, and currently the leader of the Tories is a boomerang bigot who said out loud that Muslims are a "lesser culture" who don't deserve to be here, and as for Labour ... well, Starmer's not even a centrist - he's a straight-up right wing bullshit artist. We're struggling for hope as it is over here, and if Trump wins again, it's going to embolden the far-right assholes who have protests and riots like once every couple of months over here. I could not take that. I couldn't take more right-wing agitation here, I could not take what a second Trump term would do to my friends, I just could. Not. TAKE IT.
And I have no chance to chill even a little because it's fucking Guy Fawkes Day and I thought the fireworks were bad over the weekend ... and they were, but now they're WORSE. So I'm stressed, I'm tired, I'm in pain, I'm angry, I'm badly frightened, and it sounds like World War 3 outside so now I'm getting a migraine.
Good luck to the USians. I wish I had something more positive to say to you, but I wish you all the best, for all our sakes.
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HAVE LOVE WILL TRAVEL
Another drabble from prompts I get on a Discord server I belong to.
Asami answered her cell phone on its third ring. Opal was on the other end of the call and she blurted out, “Where the hell are you right now? I tried the mansion but no one answered.”
“I’m never home on Sundays…at least I haven’t been since Korra’s down south. I thought you knew that.”
“I guess I didn’t put two and two together, sorry!! How long has she been gone?” Opal questioned.
“She’s been gone for two months and I’m going crazy without her. She tells me all the time how much she misses me and I miss her too. I mean we talk every second day but I’m just not sleeping well without her. I just need to feel her next to me. Plus, our anniversary is coming up and I don’t know if she’ll be home or not. I feel like I’m losing it Ope.”
Asami knew that the confession she had just made would have Opal’s problem-solving skills kick into overdrive. It did not take long for Opal to respond.
“Aren’t you the CEO of a multi-billion yuan company?”
“Yes, I am and that’s why I’m in the office right now.”
“And you’re missing your wife?”
“More than the three years she was gone.”
Asami could picture Opal raising one of her eyebrows as they spoke on the phone. “Oh My Raava. You’re the boss. You’re allowed to say, ‘Fuck it’ and just leave the city to go see your wife you know. I mean if I was you, I would book a first-class ticket to Harbour City right now and screw the consequences. You have great people who work for you and they can take up the slack. You did train them.”
Asami couldn’t argue with that. “I so hate it when you’re right.”
“No, you don’t. You love me!!!”
“Yeah, I guess I do. Thanks for the pep talk. I’ll book right now and I’ll send some emails to my team while I wait for the flight. Thanks, Ope. See you in a week.”
With that Opal and Asami hung up and Asami opened a travel site on her computer. It took about fifteen minutes to get her flight and car booked. The flight was leaving in three hours. Plenty of time to get everything done.
___
Four hours later and in the air above the Mo Ce Sea, Asami was very glad for the tasty food she was being served by the cabin crew. She hadn’t eaten anything since the bagel she had before she left for the office. She could hear Korra in her head saying that she shouldn’t skip meals. Asami smiled to herself and began to read the in-flight magazine. She blushed because it was the newest edition of “Life in RC” and she was on the cover. The story was about the new 3D printing machines that Future Industries had designed for home use. Asami continued to peruse the magazine until the aircraft's captain came on the speakers.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we are beginning our descent into Harbour City. We are encountering some turbulent weather so it might get a bit bumpy. We should be on the ground and at the terminal in a little under thirty minutes.”
Asami put the magazine back into its proper place and tightened her seatbelt. Although the landing was a little choppy, she was relieved and grabbed her carry-on luggage from the overhead bin. After thanking the crew, she stepped out of the aircraft and headed directly to the car rental place. Asami knew that winters in the Southern Water Tribe could be wicked so a top-of-the-line Satomobile vehicle with all the bells and whistles was what she had booked. As she got to the counter, the attendant was smiling. He began, “Hi, I’m Kasen. Are you here to pick up a vehicle?”
“Nice to meet you Kasen and yes, I’m here to pick up the SUV I booked.”
“Name?”
“Asami Sato. I booked a new Scorpion XL this morning online.”
“Yes, ma’am. I see the reservation right here. I’m glad you picked this vehicle because the weather yesterday was pretty horrendous. There were whiteout conditions in the town; subsequently, the roads were impassable. With this machine, you will have no problems on the roads today. May I please see your driver’s licence and credit card.”
Asami handed over what was asked for and was relieved that she wasn’t recognized this far south. Once the transaction was complete, she walked out the front of the terminal and strode over to her ride. She was very thankful for the heated seats and heated steering wheel.
As she drove through Harbour City along the waterfront she was amazed by the large chunks of ice washing up on the beach. I guess it really was one helluva storm.
The trip to the Chief’s palace took about forty minutes and when she arrived, she was met at the door by the security staff. Asami was escorted to the front door of the Chief’s living area. She knocked.
She heard “Coming” from behind the door. It was Korra’s voice. Asami’s pulse began to race as she waited. She was almost frantic. The door was flung open and there stood the Avatar in all her glory. Korra’s brow furrowed for a second and then a 1000-watt smile burst from her lips.
“Asami!! What are you doing here? I mean I love that you’re here but why.”
Asami’s voice came out as a squeak. She pleaded, “I needed to see you. I needed to hug you. I needed to kiss you.” The CEO’s eyes filled with tears.
Korra lifted her hand and wiped the droplets away from her wife’s cheek. Asami leaned in, embraced Korra and kissed her fiercely. The relief she felt was almost overwhelming. The couple's weeklong vacation brought them both the comfort and support they each needed.
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That was fun. I woke up to what in context I was guessing were likely plumber noises. (Yep!)
Can't actually find when I posted about it the first time our persistent drain problem (which is down to the building plumbing 🙄) really needed professional intervention. But yeah, the main sewage drain has kept getting blocked up through nothing we can control, and it was pretty bad again when I went to bed.
(Weird backflow keeps blocking things up where our plumbing meets the main line. It's apparently at a terrible angle or something. We are also on the bottom floor, just to make it better.)
After working on it pretty much the whole time I was gone last night (not least with a bunch of drain cleaner, after going out yesterday evening to get more before the store closed). No luck, and we were hoping it would unblock overnight like it's done before.
No such luck. He came out this morning, and accidentally left one of the toilets running after flushing it again. (I think that needs a valve replacement or something, because it keeps sticking open and needing the flusher jiggled.) He can't really hear it when it is running, though the noise drives me crazy. Anyway, then he came back a little bit later to find nasty water starting to spill out into the hall. 😱
For context, this is indeed a basic Swedish standard wet room setup we're talking about, with a slightly sloping floor leading toward a big floor drain that the bathtub empties into and a lip at the threshold.
Every previously dry towel in the house is heaped in the tub now. He has actually gone to IKEA to buy more, because Out Of Towels Error. Those sodden filthy ones will also need to be hauled to the basement laundry room whenever we can book a time. 😩
That's how we get Sewage Lake going whenever that drain backs up. It just comes up that floor drain under the tub.
Similar deal in the current wreck of a small bathroom, though it doesn't have a floor drain which is why there is still some standing water after the plumber came. Otherwise a wet room setup, and (thankfully cleaner) water managed to start overflowing the sill because that was the stuck-running toilet culprit.
At any rate, he saw that little flood and was going "oh shit, we really need a plumber STAT!" when apparently some essentially condo association staff person came a'knockin' to see if we had a leak. Because someone had already reported water dripping in the laundry room right under us.
So yeah, at least this time they did arrange to get a plumber in stat! Dude apparently had to pump the horrible water out into an outdoor drain, and no wonder they were here so long.
The blockage did get successfully rooted out, and Mr. C already cleaned the big bathroom floor out with bleach so it's vaguely usable. The small one still has a bit of standing water for the moment, because Out Of Towels Error. I may have to thoroughly clean them both myself before my actual OCD feels relatively OK with not treating them like particularly nasty public restrooms in my own house.
With the disgusting flood actually breaching containment and leaking through outside our apartment, hopefully this will make them more inclined to fix that plumbing junction which is causing the issue. Can't say I'm holding my breath, though. 🤨 This has to be a long-term thing already, and I would be amazed if previous owners hadn't kept having the exact same issue. And possibly getting nasty floor water dripping down to the laundry room, which frankly may have been considered lower priority since it isn't somebody else's apartment under there.
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TAoT: Chapter 33: Kindred Spirits Part 2
WARNING: People mess with things they shouldn’t (AKA summoning spirits) in this chapter. Read at your own risk.
“Apparently, Mr. Golf Course Manager doesn’t believe in ghosts. Can’t you go over there after school today and just give him a little spook? Make him rethink his life choices?”
“No, Tucker,” Danny sighed. “I’m not going to do that.”
“Why not?” Tucker took an angry slurp from his milk carton. “You make a huge mess, you don’t help us clean it up, and now you can’t even be bothered to help us get revenge?”
“Knock it off, Tucker,” Sam scolded. “If Danny does anything to the manager guy, then you and I will probably be on the hook for it. Again.”
“Hey! How many times do I have to apologize?” Danny complained. “You already know why I couldn’t stay and help. Besides, have either of you been listening to what I’ve been saying?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Tucker griped. “Some weird teen showed up at your house, ate all your food, and disappeared. How is that any different from our normal hangouts?”
“What’s different, Tucker, is that she’s a ghost!” Danny hissed. “Y’know, like a certain someone you know, sitting at this table? And she claims to be family, but I don’t know her! I have never even seen her before yesterday!”
Danny’s core grumbled in disagreement at those words. He frowned and took a bite of his lunch.
“Well, are you sure you aren’t just going crazy?” Tucker suggested unhelpfully. “Maybe the guilt of leaving your poor best friends to clean up your mistakes is weighing down on your conscience.”
Danny opened his mouth to argue, but Sam spoke up first, cutting him off. “Knock it off, Tucker. Danny may be a bit of a jerk, but I don’t think he’s that crazy.”
“Wow. Thanks, Sam,” Danny muttered dryly.
“Anytime,” she smirked. “Though I’ve gotta admit, the half-ghost part sounds… pretty out there.”
“Sam. You know of two half-ghosts already.” Danny deadpanned, gesturing to himself. “Is it really that unlikely a third could exist? Or more?”
“Yeah!” Tucker said around a bite of his burger. “Maybe it runs in Danny’s family?”
A heavy silence immediately fell over the trio as Sam and Danny both turned to stare at Tucker like he was an idiot. “Looks like somebody won’t be passing biology this year,” Sam drawled.
“What?” Tucker floundered, looking rather taken aback. “Huh? What do you mean?”
Sam rolled her eyes as she took a bite of her salad, ignoring Tucker’s growing indignation.
“Anyway, back to the important issue here,” Danny said, much to Tucker’s dismay. “I don’t know where she went! I put her in the guest room, and when I went to check on her later that night she was gone!”
As the saying went, speak of the devil and he shall appear (or she, in this case). Sam opened her mouth, but before she could say anything there was a sudden flash of light, and their lunch trays flew into the air. Danny instinctively went intangible as the food came raining down, but Sam and Tucker unfortunately didn’t have the same ability.
There, standing right through the middle of the table, was Danielle in her ghost form. She smiled eagerly and waved at him, and Danny ignored the weird happy feeling in his core as he glared at the ghost girl.
“So, this must be your long-lost cousin,” Sam said flatly, apple juice dripping from her hair.
Danny glanced around, making sure that Danielle hadn’t caught anyone’s attention. He did not need to deal with trying to explain the random Phantom look-alike currently standing in the lunchroom. Luckily, none of the other students were even looking his way (the perks of being a social outcast).
“Dude!” Danny hissed at Danielle. “No ghost powers!”
Danielle blinked, seemingly surprised by his words, but she nodded. She ducked under the table, and there was another brief flash of light. Danny stood up from the table and walked a few steps away, and Danielle crept out from under it and followed him, now human.
“What are you doing here?” Danny asked her. “And what were you thinking? You can’t just use your powers out in the open like that!”
“Aww…” Danielle pouted, scuffing the toe of her sneaker against the linoleum floor. “I was just having some fun.”
“Well, you shouldn’t be doing that at the expense of others,” Danny scolded, his ears burning slightly as he realized the hypocrisy of his own statement. “U-unless it’s Dash, or… whatever. What are you doing here?”
Danielle gave him a sheepish smile. “I just wanted to hang out, y’know? Thought maybe we could get to know each other better. Since we’re cousins and all.”
“Uh-huh.” Danny folded his arms and raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “Sure we are.”
Danielle’s smile became strained as she tried not to fidget under his gaze. Danny glanced back over at his friends, who were trying to clean off the result of Danielle’s prank. Sam sent a glare over at Danielle as she squeezed apple juice out of her hair. Tucker was too busy wiping off his glasses to send any glares, but he was definitely scowling. Which meant that Danny needed to smooth things over between Danielle and his friends.
Danny pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “C’mon. I was just talking to my friends about you.”
Danielle immediately brightened, and she was practically skipping as she followed Danny back to the table. Danny reclaimed his seat across from his friends, and Danielle sat down beside him.
“Hi!” Danielle beamed, waving eagerly at the two teens sitting across from her. “I’m Danielle!”
Sam and Tucker glanced back and forth at the two black-haired, blue-eyed teens. Tucker pointed at Danny. “Like…?”
Danny sighed tiredly. “Yep. Confusing, I know.”
“It’s so awesome to meet you guys!” Danielle gushed. “I’ve always wanted friends! We’re friends, right?”
Sam stared at the girl, all annoyance forgotten in place of bewilderment. “Uhh, I mean—”
“Awesome!” Danielle squealed. “We should hang out! Do you guys wanna hang out? Ooh, what should we do? We could go to the movies, or we could go eat food! I love food, do you love food?”
Tucker and Sam were at a loss for words, and they looked at Danny as if to ask him: Who is this girl???
“Slow down, Danielle.” Danny couldn’t keep himself from chuckling. “Give them a moment to speak!”
Danielle nodded fervently as she bounced in her seat, watching Sam and Tucker like they were puppies that she wanted to know if she was allowed to pet.
“So, uhh… Danielle,” Tucker began hesitantly. “Can I call you Dani?”
“No,” Danny said immediately. “Two Dannys? That’ll get way too confusing.”
“Do you have a nickname?” Sam asked Danielle. “So we can differentiate between the two of you a little more?”
“Uhh… no,” Danielle answered with a shrug. “My dad just calls me Danielle.”
“Well, why don’t you pick one?” Sam suggested. “Could be fun.”
Danielle tilted her head to the side, like a confused puppy.
“I mean, I personally don’t like my full name very much,” Sam admitted. “Samantha? Ick. Too formal for my taste. So I go by Sam.” She pointed at the two teen boys. “Daniel goes by Danny. And Tucker sometimes go by Tuck—”
“Yeah, but you can call me TF,” Tucker said smoothly, pointing to himself with his thumb. “All the ladies do.”
Danny kicked him in the shin. “Literally no one calls you that, Tuck.”
“Anyway,” Sam continued, ignoring the boys’ shenanigans. “There are plenty of nicknames for Danielle. There’s Dani, of course, but… that one’s kinda taken,” she pointed out, gesturing lazily to Danny. “But, uhh… there’s also Elle… and…”
Sam trailed off and looked at Danny and Tucker, as if asking them for ideas.
“Hmm… Ella?” Tucker proposed.
Danny thought for a moment, before smiling warmly at the other halfa. “Ellie.”
Danielle’s eyes lit up at the suggestion, and she smiled back. “Ellie! I like that!”
“Cool,” Sam smiled. “Ellie it is.”
Ellie’s smile was like a sunbeam on a rainy day, and Danny couldn’t help the smile that it brought to his own lips. “So, can we hang out?” Ellie asked eagerly. “Let’s go to the movies! I’ve never seen a movie before!”
“Slow down there, madam,” Tucker interrupted, hands up in a calming motion. “Unfortunately, we all still have school. It’s just our lunch break right now.”
“Aww…” Ellie’s smile melted into a sad pout. “So we can’t hang out, then?”
“Uhh, maybe later.” Sam assured the disappointed girl. “I was just wondering, Ellie. How are you and Danny related, exactly?”
Danny was thankful for the return in conversation to the far more important issue at hand. He needed answers, and he would rather get them now, before Ellie up and disappeared again.
“We’re third cousins, once removed,” Ellie answered matter-of-factly.
“Are you sure you guys aren’t more closely related?” Tucker asked. “You two look more like twins than cousins.”
Danny and Ellie looked at each other. Ellie started laughing. Danny did not.
“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course we’re cousins!” Ellie chortled. “What else could we be? Clones?”
Danny and his friends shared a confused look, and Ellie quickly stopped laughing when she realized that none of them were going to join her. She cleared her throat awkwardly. “Yes, we’re, uhh… just cousins.”
“And are you sure we’ve never met before?” Danny asked her. He just couldn’t shake the feeling that he knew her from somewhere.
“Positive,” Ellie assured him with a nod. “We haven’t met before yesterday.”
“… okay,” Danny muttered, ignoring the sad, aching feeling in his core. Maybe she was lying? But it didn’t make any sense for her to lie, and besides… Danny had a feeling that she wasn’t. He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by his ghost sense going off. A similar mist came out of Ellie’s mouth, and the two halfas shared a look—a ghost attack? Here? Now?
Before either of them could react, a small green ghost, no bigger than a mosquito, phased through the lunchroom ceiling. Danny sighed in relief. This would be one of his easiest fights yet! Maybe he wouldn’t even need to transform to catch it.
Unfortunately, Danny spoke—or thought—too soon. The little ghost began to zip around the lunchroom, upending tables and lunch trays and making a general ruckus. Students immediately started screaming and running for the exits. Amid the chaos, no one noticed as Danny and Ellie calmly stood up from their table.
Ellie gave Danny a confident smirk. “Shall we?”
“Wait, I-I still have questions—” Danny tried to argue, but Ellie cut him off.
“Let’s catch that thing first.” Ellie pointed at the ghost as it darted out of the lunchroom. “After that… you’ll learn everything.”
And with that, Ellie took off after the ghost. Danny quickly glanced back at his friends, hoping they could handle the mess that was left behind, before he hurried after Ellie.
.
.
Danny and Ellie chased the tiny green ghost all over the school campus. The little guy was fast. They had barely been able to keep up as it shot around the football field bleachers (Ellie had almost caught it then, but it had slipped past her at the last second), and they chased it off the school grounds and into Amity Park proper.
“Race ya!” Ellie goaded from her spot beside Danny.
Danny smirked at her. “Oh, you are on!”
Never one to back down from a challenge, Danny immediately poured on the speed, easily pulling in front of Ellie. He chased after the small green specter, which just barely managed to stay out of his reach. They flew around Amity Park’s streets, going up and over and through buildings as Danny tried in vain to catch the elusive ghost.
Before Danny knew it, they had made a loop around the somewhat small town. As Casper High came back into view, Danny checked behind him to see if Ellie was catching up; she wasn’t. In fact, she was nowhere in sight.
“Haha! I am totally win—oof!” Not looking where he was going, Danny turned back around just in time to smack face-first into something. He recoiled, his eyes watering as he gently held his nose. What had he run into?
Someone in front of him tsked, and Danny realized he had run into a person—a very annoying person, at that. “Oh, Daniel. Has no one ever taught you to look where you’re going?”
Danny blinked the tears from his eyes and saw that, sure enough, none other than Vlad Plasmius was floating in front of him. Great.
“What do you want now, Vlad?” Danny griped, and he smirked as he delivered what he thought was a rather snarky quip. “If you want my mom’s number, I’m not giving it to you. And just so you know, she’s not interested.”
Vlad scowled. “Let’s just cut to the chase, shall we? I’m not in a joking mood today.”
Danny had no time to dodge the pink ecto-blast that Vlad shot his way, and he was sent flying backwards into the school parking lot. He landed with a grunt of pain, and got to his feet just in time to sidestep Vlad’s next attack.
Danny tried to get himself into a position to be on the offense (like he had been taught during his short week at camp), but the older halfa frustratingly remained a step ahead of him. It was clear that Vlad was pulling no punches today, and Danny scowled as he barely managed to block Vlad’s incoming fist. Wow. He wasn’t holding back, was he? Though, the idea that Vlad had been holding back every other time he and Danny fought before made Danny mad. Seriously?!
Distracted by his thoughts, Danny failed to block Vlad’s other fist, which landed a solid uppercut to his jaw that left Danny reeling. “Honestly, my boy, you’re not making this any easier,” Vlad said, like he was scolding a child.
“I never do,” Danny spat. “And you’re making my life miserable, as usual. Don’t you have better things to do with your time?”
“Of course I do.” Vlad took a step back and raised his hand, his palm lighting up with pink ectoplasmic energy. “So if you would just give up already, I would appreciate it.”
A magenta ecto-ray shot from Vlad’s hand, and Danny countered the attack with a two-handed ecto-blast of his own. The contrasting energies crashed into one another, and Danny’s arms burned with exertion as he fought to keep Vlad’s attack at bay; he didn’t have the strength to keep this up for long. He really needed to ask Thanatos for a break from training after this so he could at least catch up on sleep.
Danny heard someone behind him, and he risked a glance over his shoulder. Ellie. She was standing there, her fists clenched and glowing with ecto-energy.
“Help me!” Danny shouted at her. “Do something!”
Ellie hesitated, her expression one of conflict as she looked down at her glowing palms.
Vlad spoke up then, his voice clear and expectant as he simply said, “Oh, Danielle?”
Ellie faltered for only a second longer before steeling her expression into one of resolve. She raised her hands, and Danny cried out in pain as Ellie shot him square in the back.
Danny collapsed on the ground, his ghostly transformation falling away and leaving him human. His head spinning, Danny managed to look up and saw Vlad standing over him, with Ellie by his side. Vlad was grinning as evilly as ever, but Ellie… she looked conflicted.
“I-I don’t understand,” Danny muttered weakly.
Ellie looked up at Vlad, her expression that of a child desperate for their parent’s approval. “Did I do good, Dad?”
Darkness flooded Danny’s vision, and his last thought before losing consciousness was why. Why would Ellie betray him?
Why… Mom…?
.
Sam POV:
Sam growled as she kicked open the doors of the cafeteria and stomped outside, a bag of lunchroom garbage slung over her shoulder. “As soon as we get rid of this trash, I’m gonna find Danny and give him a piece of my—”
But she abruptly fell silent as a flicker of movement caught her eye. She turned to look at it and stopped dead in her tracks as she saw none other than Vlad Plasmius standing in the school parking lot, with Ellie by his side (which immediately raised red flags in Sam’s mind), and—
“Danny!” Sam dropped the trash bag and ran towards the trio of halfas, but she was already far too late. Vlad took off into the sky, with an unconscious Danny slung over his shoulder and Ellie following after him.
Tucker ran up behind her, his bag of trash also forgotten on the pavement as he looked at Sam with wide eyes. “What just happened?”
“Danny just got kidnapped!” Sam shouted, furious at her helplessness. “By Vlad and his so-called cousin!”
“Aww, man…” Tucker groaned. “I should’ve known she was evil when she ruined our lunch.”
“That’s what made you think she was evil?” Sam said incredulously. “Not the cloud of suspicion practically looming over her?”
Tucker shrugged. “Well, I mean—”
“Manson! Foley!”
The two teens whirled around to see Mr. Lancer standing in the doorway with a scowl on his face as he tapped his foot impatiently. “Why aren’t you two in the cafeteria? Cleaning?”
Lost for words, Sam glanced at Tucker for help. He gave her a pleading look as he whispered, “We have to help him!”
Sam groaned. Obviously they had to help Danny—he was their best friend, after all—but she knew they were going to be in a lot of trouble for doing so. “Well, we… were planning to ditch school and run off with Danny.” She told Mr. Lancer with a helpless shrug. And yes, she was getting Danny in trouble, too. Just for a bit of payback.
“Y-yeah!” Tucker nodded. “And there’s nothing you can do about it, uhh… old man…?”
Sam mentally facepalmed. Great. Now, instead of having detention for maybe a month for just skipping school, they’d have detention until graduation. Thanks, Tuck.
Mr. Lancer’s eyes went wide with disbelief and rage. “OLD MAN?!”
And with that, Sam and Tucker fled the high school grounds, sprinting across the parking lot with Mr. Lancer hobbling after them.
.
.
“Do… you… think… we lost him?” Tucker panted, out of breath as they came to a stop outside Sam’s house.
“Duh,” Sam replied as she unlocked the front door and ushered him inside. “Have you seen how out of shape he is?”
Sam led Tucker into her house and straight to the basement entrance. She pushed Tucker inside without a word, before closing the door and locking it behind them.
“Uhh, why are we here?” Tucker asked, following Sam as she made her way down the stairs.
“My parents let me use the basement as my personal library,” Sam answered, as if that was a completely normal thing for parents to do. “And we need some privacy for what we’re about to do.”
“And that is…?” Tucker questioned.
“Contact Danny’s mentor.”
“Wait, what?!” Tucker looked at Sam like she was crazy. “Why? And how?”
They reached the bottom of the stairs, and Sam flipped a light switch on the side of the wall, turning on the overhead lights and revealing a small, dimly lit library. The shelves were crammed with books and jars and candles, and the desk against the far wall was covered in papers, pens, and pencils, amidst which sat an expensive-looking laptop.
Sam walked over to one of the shelves and pulled out a dusty old tome, brushing off its cover before she began flipping through the pages. “After the whole ordeal with Evil Danny, I figured it would be a good idea for us to have our own way to contact Thanatos whenever Danny is unable to. So I started looking into witchcraft.” She shrugged, as if that was a completely normal thing to do.
“Hey! Don’t say his name!” Tucker hissed. “Danny said not to! And witchcraft? What—”
“Tucker, we’re trying to get his attention,” Sam reminded him. “I am going to say his name. Y’know what?” Sam set the book back down and looked up at the ceiling. She cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted, “HEY! THANATOS! WE’RE TALKING ABOUT YOU!!!”
Her voice echoed through the room, and Tucker looked nervously over his shoulder, half expecting said god to pop out of the shadows. But as the echo faded and silence returned, Thanatos did not appear.
“See? It didn’t even work,” Sam said with another nonchalant shrug, turning back to the book and resuming her search. “Now are you gonna help me or what?”
“Are we really going to do this?” Tucker squeaked. “We’re going to summon the literal god of death?”
“Yep.” Sam answered, popping the ‘p’. She stopped on a page and skimmed over it, before stepping away from the table. She walked over to another set of shelves and picked up a jar of black, ashy powder. “Yes,” she mumbled to herself. “And dried poppies…” She skimmed over the contents of the shelf, before grabbing another jar filled with red flower petals. She moved to leave but faltered, before grabbing a little bundle of what looked like dried sticks with little pale flowers. “Hmm… do you think Thanatos would be considered evil?”
“What? I-I dunno, why?” Tucker asked, bewildered.
“Because I think it might be a good idea to throw in some verbena officinalis,” Sam replied, waving the dried flowers in his direction. “To ward off any evil spirits we may attract while doing this. But if Thanatos falls into that group then it’ll ward him off as well.”
Sam hummed thoughtfully for a moment, while Tucker turned so pale he looked like he was about to faint.
“Nah,” Sam said decisively, tossing the bundle back on the shelf. “I think we’ll be fine.”
“Sam, I-I personally think that this is maybe, y’know, the worst idea ever,” Tucker said weakly.
“Nonsense, Tuck.” Sam walked to the center of the room and set the jars on the floor. “Now grab the chalk off my desk.”
Tucker trudged over to the desk and grabbed the little box of blackboard chalk, before he paused. “Wait, don’t these ritual things usually require, like, blood or an animal sacrifice or something?”
“Tucker, please. I’m vegan. Plants will work fine. Probably.”
.
.
Once Sam had finished drawing the “summoning circle,” she walked along its outer edges and placed the gathered ingredients. Dried poppy petals were scattered within the ten-foot wide circle, and Sam also poured the ashen powder in a thin line along the circle’s perimeter. She had filled the inside of the circle with chalk symbols from the book, along with Greek characters from her notes, spelling out Thanatos’ name and his most common epithets: Leukokhrotos, Acherontis, and Paian. The finishing touch had been placing lit candles equidistantly along the circle’s edge.
Now ready, Sam knelt down beside the circle, the desk behind her, and sat the tome down in front of her. Tucker stood nervously by the desk, biting his nails as he waited for Sam to begin the ritual. Sam closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she held her hands out in front of her, palms down and hovering over the intricately drawn chalk lines.
“Thanatos,” Sam spoke clearly, her voice echoing through the underground room. “God of Death. Brother of Sleep and son of Night. I humbly request your presence in my hour of need.”
Sam paused and waited. Yet nothing happened. The room was the same, with the faint buzzing of the fluorescent lightbulbs above, and Tucker cowering by the desk. There was no sign of Thanatos.
So Sam continued. “Master of dead men. Messenger of fate and harbinger of death. I call on you now. I have spoken your name, and now I speak your epithets. Leukokhrotos, the white-skinned, for blood is the elixir of life and under your touch, it ceases to flow and the flesh grows pale. Acherontis, the woeful, for sorrow follows in your wake. And Paian, the healer, for death is the cure to all illness, including life.”
Taking a deep breath, Sam glanced at the notes she had written down in the margins of the pages. She hadn’t been able to pick up Greek as easily as Danny had, so she had written down phrases she may need if the time ever came that she had to summon Thanatos. Which it now had. A frisson of energy raced across her skin as warmth and power gathered within her. :By the power that I possess, I summon you.:
Sam paused, waiting once more. For a moment, nothing changed, but then the overhead light grew brighter for a split second before flickering out, leaving only the orangey glow from the weak, fluttering flames of the candles.
“Uhh, was that you or did the power just go out?” Tucker asked with a nervous chuckle. “It was just the power, right?”
Sam frowned. Honestly, she wasn’t sure. She had no idea if this whole crazy idea would even work. But considering she didn’t have the god of death’s phone number, this was the best she had. So she took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she pressed her fingers to the chalk outline in front of her.
She could feel the energy deep in her chest, and she focused on trying to push it out, down her arms and through her fingers, into the diagram in front of her. The energy obeyed, and she could feel as it thrummed through her veins. Tucker yelped behind her, and Sam opened her eyes to find that the chalk outline was now glowing white.
“How are you doing that?!” Tucker cried.
Sam didn’t know. She had read about magic and witchcraft—she had always found those subjects fascinating—but to actually be doing something like this? This had been more of a desperate, half-baked idea than anything. She had no idea how it was actually working.
But working it was, and Sam was going to use that to her advantage. :Thanatos,: she spoke aloud. :I call on you now. Appear before me.:
The candle flames began to flicker wildly, as if a strong wind were trying to smother them. That same force sent poppy flowers scattering across the floor while leaving the lines of ashen powder undisturbed, yet Sam and Tucker felt nothing—not even a hint of air moving past them.
Sam glanced back at Tucker, who was watching her with wide, fearful eyes. She saw movement behind him, and she realized that the shadows had begun to stretch and shift, looking as if they were inky black syrup dripping from the ceiling. They slid down the walls and along the floor, flowing in rivulets across the stone as they pooled in the middle of the chalk circle where a dark, shifting mass was forming.
A chill ran down Sam’s spine as a quiet whispering reached her ears. She couldn’t understand it, so she glanced back at Tucker again, but his lips weren’t moving. And neither were hers. The whispers sounded as if they were coming from right beside her, but when she turned there was no one there.
:Thanatos…: She began again, faltering as the indecipherable whispers grew louder, as if speaking to her. As if trying to warn her. :Come to me.:
The mass of darkness and shadow began to grow, spreading from the center of the circle and out into the room. It recoiled when it reached the ring of black powder, and a sinister, angry feeling washed over Sam, as if the darkness was demanding to be released. The whispering grew louder, more frantic, and the nonexistent wind grew stronger, scattering papers from the desk and dried plants from the shelves.
She could hear Tucker scrambling to his feet behind her, and she looked back and saw that black, inky tendrils of smoke had begun to reach out from the shadows on the walls. Her heart leapt into her throat as they reached towards Tucker, who scurried back until he bumped into Sam’s back.
“Sam!” He whimpered as he grabbed her shoulder. “Make it stop, please!”
Sam turned back to the circle, her hands shaking as she poured more energy into her efforts. :Thanatos! God of—:
The mass within the circle rose up, writhing like an angry beast, and the whispering suddenly became almost deafening. Like hundreds of voices, all trying to speak over her at once, sounding like a hurricane in her ears. The air around her turned frigid, and she suddenly felt a dark force in the room with them, like a demon breathing icicles down her neck.
Sam tried to reference her notes, but the page had blown away, and she couldn’t move her hands. She pulled, but it felt like they were glued to the floor—to the chalk circle. The circle’s glow grew brighter, and Sam tried to pull away, but she couldn’t move. She couldn’t move—
~Thanatos!~ She cried over the roar of the wind. ~I summon you now! I need you now!~
Suddenly, from the shadows in the center of the ring rose Thanatos, and he did not look happy. He immediately went to the edge of the circle and smudged it with his sandal, breaking the chalk line. The whispers fell silent, and the lights flickered back on as the shadows fled, returning to their natural state. The chill left the room, and within mere seconds it was as if nothing had even happened.
Tucker yelped, while Sam breathed a shaky sigh of relief as she pulled her hands away at last. Her plan had worked. Now they could tell Thanatos about—
But she faltered as Thanatos’ form flickered. For a split second his chiton became long black hooded robes of smoke, and his glimmering wings turned oily and ragged, like a vulture’s. His hands looked skeletal and gray, and a feeling of pure fear ran down Sam’s spine. This… was not Thanatos. The aura was different. Different, yet… familiar, somehow, in a way that she didn’t understand.
But just as quickly, the being returned to the normal Thanatos that she knew. His clean, glossy feathers bristled as he turned on his heel to face Sam and Tucker, a frustrated scowl on his face.
“What were you thinking?” Thanatos hissed. “Do you two even know what you could have summoned?”
Tucker, still pale and shaky, shook his head and immediately pointed at Sam. “She did it!”
Thanatos’ gaze landed on Sam, and his scowl deepened. “Romaïkós,” he muttered under his breath. “And a witch to boot.”
Romaikos? Sam didn’t recognize the word, but before she could say anything Thanatos continued. “I do not recommend trying that ever again,” he said coldly.
“We didn’t have a choice!” Sam exclaimed defensively. “Danny’s in trouble!”
Thanatos’ scowl remained, but the look in his eyes shifted to one of concern. “What do you mean?”
“Vlad kidnapped him!” Tucker shouted, waving his hands frantically. “We saw him fly away with Danny and his cousin!”
Thanatos tilted his head, confused. “His cousin?”
“Well, I dunno if she’s actually Danny’s cousin, but—” Tucker began, but Sam cut him off.
“That’s not important right now, Tucker!” She turned back to Thanatos with a pleading look. “I’m sorry to disturb you, but we need your help finding him. Please. We’re really worried.”
Thanatos regarded her for a moment before holding his arm out in front of him. He had a silver mark like Danny’s, but the letters were different. Fántasma… Phantom? Sam wondered as she read the mark slowly, ignoring the sudden headache threatening to form behind her eyes. That must be referring to Danny…
Thanatos ran his fingers over the silver letters, and frowned. “I can’t sense him…” He muttered under his breath. Thanatos looked back up at Sam and Tucker, his expression carefully neutral. “Forgive me, but there is someone I must speak with.”
“Wait, wait!” Sam started, but Thanatos was already gone. “Dang it!”
“So, uhh, what do we do now?” Tucker asked her. “Because he wasn’t very helpful.”
Sam scowled as she dragged a hand down her face. No, Thanatos hadn’t been helpful at all. So it looked like they would have to rescue Danny on their own. “… wait a minute, Tuck. What about the Boo-merang?”
~~~~~
We had a fun time trying to make this chapter spooky. We don’t know anything about witchcraft though, so we made it all up. We also had a lot of fun researching Thanatos’ epithets and stuff. :)
So, you guys know how we type words spoken in Greek <b>:like this?:</b> Well, if you’re wondering ~What this means…~ It’s Latin. And if you’re wondering what “Romaïkós” means? It’s Greek for “Roman.” :)
And Danny… Why in the world did you not just teach your friends about Iris-messaging??? So that they don’t end up summoning demons in their basements???
First: Prologue
Previous: Chapter 32
Next: Chapter 34
#danny phantom#dani phantom#vlad masters#sam manson#tucker foley#thanatos#taot#the apprentice of thanatos#lotu#legacy of the underworld#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#fanfiction#crossover fanfiction#tw: witchcraft#kinda?#spirits get summoned
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Absolutely amazing. It could not be more perfect.
I’m gonna headcanon that Camila’s reaction to seeing Luz’ little ”Hi! I’m bi!” drawing was to respond with a ”Hi Bi, I’m mom!”
(as none of you may remember, I did say that I had an idea for something I’d do for this moment. I was gonna do another Engelsofors quote ((the scene where Vanessa tells her mom that she’s dating Linnéa, which effectively doubles as her coming out as bi))… but looking at the actual scene, it really wasn’t as funny as I remembered it as, soooo… i’m just not gonna do it)
I love this screenshot, it looks like the other palismen think Flapjack has gone crazy. By the Titan! He’s pecking at the floor! What new spore of madness is this!?
Seeing all the palismen together like this does remind me of one of the predictions I was going to make in that post I was supposed to post before this liveblog but never did.
Assuming that Philip (what’s left of him anyway) still has enough of his mind left to form coherent thoughts and plans, his first priority will likely be to regain some of his strength. And would you look at that, there we have four yummy palismen ready to be cracked open like some radioactive coconuts. Even if he wasn’t seeking revenge on the kids (which he most certainly will be doing), those palismen alone are enough of a motivation for him to show up and cause trouble.
Now, I’m not sure what exactly he could do to cause trouble, but I’m sure he’ll find a way.
Amity. Sweetie. Luz already loves you. You do not need to try this hard.
Hm… can I wring some symbolic meaning out of these outfits? Of course I can. Observe:
Gus At first glance, it’s easy to conclude that Gus probably just picked out what he thought looked cool and that’s most likely the case. But you’ll notice that out of the four newcomers to the Human Realm, he’s the one who’s got the most ”normal” outfit. Which makes sense. His knowledge of the Human Realm has often been played for laughs, but he’s still very passionate and interested in everything human. And his stated wish back in Hunting Palismen was to become an ambassador to the Human Realm. With this in mind, it makes sense he’d try to assemble what might be considered a ”normal” human outfit, to blend in and show respect for the human culture.
Willow Seeing as there is no flyer derby in the Human Realm, it seems Willow opted for the next best thing and is trying her hand at roller derby (which, fun fact, the only reason I know that sport exists is thanks to a Steven Universe fanfic I read years ago). Despite her threatening pose with her hands balled up into fists and the intimidating spikes on her helmet, she is still smiling brightly and her outfit is brightly colored. Willow is at heart a very caring and kind individual, but when need be, she can be tough and powerful, This is a theme we’ve seen repeated several times with her character.
Amity The events of Clouds on the Horizon saw Amity more or less disowning her mother (take note of the absence of Odalia in the drawing of her family in one of the previous shots*). There wasn’t much time to process the meaning of that at the time, since they were a bit busy dealing with the end of the world and everything. Now, however, Amity is finally free of her mother’s overly controlling attitude and enters her rebellious edgy phase. These are all likely clothes Amity would not be allowed to wear if Odalia had a say in the matter. ”Ripped jeans? Not in this household, young lady!”
(*speaking of the previous shots, before I forget… when the mutant rat from Yesterday’s Lie bursts through the board, we can briefly see Hunter’s hands without any gloves. I’m fairly certain that’s the first time. I didn’t notice any scars)
The hat looks familiar to me. Is there a character in one of the Mario games that wears a hat like that?
Hunter Sorta similar to Amity, but even worse, Hunter likely never had any say in what kinds of clothes he got to wear growing up. Having been raised the way he was, he likely has no real grasp of what his own identity is (no doubt made worse by the grimwalker revelation and finding out he’s a clone). Thus, he can’t really express himself through his clothing the same way the other kids can. But one thing he does realize is how large part of him Flapjack has become. Flapjack, in many ways, has become a part of Hunter and a fundamental piece of his identity. Flapjack is symbolic of Hunter beginning to stray from the path created for him by Belos and him eventually breaking free of his control to become his own person.
That’s why he’s dressed as a giant red chicken.
And Vee coming in with her new form as well! I don’t even care that I was spoiled on her new look, I’m just so happy to see my snake daughter thriving.
Speaking of which, there is a noticeable difference between Vee’s Luz form and her new form. The difference in appearance is obvious, but if we look at this before and after, we can see some important differences in how she carries herself.
Luz!Vee still looks a bit timid and with a very neat appearance, much like how we saw her in Yesterday’s Lie. In her new form, she looks a lot more confident and her clothes & hair are a lot less neat and picture perfect. Her eyes and hair are also closer to her eyes and hair* in her basilisk form. She’s still disguising herself as a human, but it’s closer to the real her. In some ways, I think Vee has become herself.
(*well… reptiles don’t have hair. It’s as ridiculous as feathers on a mammal. Maybe the ”hair” basilisks have are closer to the pycnofibres you’d find on pterosaurs)
(i am honestly surprised at how good this edit turned out. especially seeing as I don’t have any actual image editing software. no, i did this in pages.)
Honestly? Same, Camila. Same. You love to see it.
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@frogprinceus LIKED for a starter !!
Tamiyo was used to being on her feet most of the day, wandering the forest around her home for ingredients or just a nice and peaceful walk, or whenever she entered town with her family to go shopping or spend some quality time together, so having a day for her to just sit back, relax, and bask in the beauty of the day was something she felt was well deserved. As such, she was currently sitting at a nice little picnic table placed just in front of a small food stand, looking down at her plate of fresh potato mochi as she waited for it to cool. While she waited, Tamiyo grabbed her cup of boba tea she’d ordered alongside her food, unwrapping the straw and poking it through the lid to enjoy her beverage.
❝Sitting most of the day was pretty nice,❞ she spoke to herself, ❝especially with there being nothing I need to worry about while out here; the house is already stocked up on groceries, I’ve gathered all the ingredients I’ve needed for my potions yesterday, and all the supplies we need for missions are taken care of and all stocked up as well!❞
She tried her luck with her potato mochi now, taking her index finger and gently poking one to test the temperature, gently and quickly at first, then giving a few more to confirm she wouldn’t burn herself eating them. She smiled giddily to herself at the thought of eating all of it by herself, though the longer she spent looking at the plate the more she realized that she may have ordered a bit too much, at least, too much for one person like herself to eat alone.
❝I may be starving right now, but even I know that this... won’t all be eaten...❞
Tamiyo sighed as she counted all eight of the mochi on the plate before her, taking the one she’d poked with her finger, glancing around her to see if anyone was looking at her like she were crazy for eating all of this by herself. Thankfully, it seemed that no one was paying her any mind, the only person even remotely close being an older gentleman sitting on a nearby bench, looking closely at a small notepad and writing something occasionally while deep in thought. He didn’t look as though he lived here in Iwagakure, though she wasn’t exactly the reliable sort to remember considering her being a homebody and all that. Regardless, she considered this as her good deed for the day, deciding to ask if this man would like some of her potato mochi. It was much better than her letting it go to waste, right?
❝Excuse me?❞ Tamiyo walked over to the man in question with one hand holding her boba and the other holding the plate of food, making sure to be a polite enough distance away should he want her gone, but close enough to him that he could still hear her clearly. ❝I don’t mean to bother you or anything, but I seem to have ordered way too much food for just one person and was wondering... well... I was wondering if maybe you’d like to share?❞
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Hey I know ive been dead but I went to 2 more they might be giants shows
15th i went to first avenue the first time. I havent even seen purple rain. I went on a walk every other day for the past month but it was surprisingly (sarcasm) not enough to prepare me for standing up for two hours straight. I saw the first first ave show was apollo 18 and while narrow your eyes is the best song ever and the guitar wouldve been astronomically fun i thought about it and if I actually got to choose which two i saw it wouldve been these. Now that I write that though my flood show was about a quarter mink car. But did your flood show have wicked little critta. No.
And so im up on the balcony i am directly outside the owners box, I have to get out of the way a fair amount which maybe helped a little with the pain that comes from standing in one place for two hours. But im wondering which one will be the comfortable show and they come out and i don’t even cry or anything like the first time im just like hey its those guys i know. Im a little far away and i need an eye exam yesterday though so maybe thats why. Anyway they come out and they play subliminal and im like AHHH cause its the best song ever. Actually im with a guy I do like a lot and I havent gone to too many shows, but I am so shy at the beginning a lot of the time..so maybe not AHHH but okayyy!!! And inside im like AHHH yknow? I wish snail shell was later in the set/i was less really fucking shy because I dont remember going crazy for it and I shouldve. SNAIL SHEEELLLLL. I listened to the venue song like two days before, it is so funny and great. More like mid james ensor. Its ok though cause it segues into the famous polka which is the best song ever. HEY! Im legitimately getting chills thinking about the famous polka, its so good. I always love slightly country tmbg and i have all of one single out of jail scrobble i didnt even recognize it 😭 in my fake fan era. Ah this was my first mesopotamians, so classic. More else pleaseee. Oh god spider was so good, so much more cacophonous than the recorded one. First flans doing a silly voice moment i can remember seeing, i love it when they do silly voices. Dirt bike might be my favorite tmbg song ever. You may have already noticed a theme with this post where i call every song the best song ever but I am not joking here, it might just be my favorite ever. I clap for all but I never cheer for the horns, and I wonder if that makes me a bad person, especially when dirt bike without horns would be shit. That intro is sooo perfect . A self called nowhere kicks total ass. Spy literally gets better every time I see it oml, I could not stop laughing at the back in black bit. SPY x16. The end of the tour is the best song ever, just so so lovely.
Man its so loud in here is really another contender for genuine serious most favorite tmbg song, I love it so so so so so much. Theyve played it at all my shows except the bowl, it wouldve been too powerful. I am so grateful for all the actual shows having it though, actual best song ever even if they play it a little different! Please compare my all time top played song man its so loud in here with all time 1 scrobble out of jail. (I really do not dislike out of jail, I dont know why I havent listened to it. I dont remember how it goes. John henry is my second favorite tmbg album. I dont know whats wrong with me.) When will you die just makes me think about how nothing will ever top the hollywood bowl when will you die, what a surprise and also great song. Doing the working undercover for the man sha la las in a crowd is so fucking cool!!! OH IVE HEARD ALL OF FINGERTIPS LIVE TWICE NOW, HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU KNOW WHOVE HEARD FINGERTIPS LIVE NOT ONCE BUT TWICE. I have to mention cloisonne, idk what to say about it but I heard cloisonne live, lmfao <3. Where your eyes dont go is so spooky and awesome. Brontosaurus is so great. Doctor worm is the best song ever. Letterbox is the best song ever. Last song of the night was no one knows my plan and they did not even make us conga. You may be thinking, no particle man? No istanbul? Well this ran long so im making a part 2 LOL
Also during the course of this show I sweated fucking tons, I was like legally an ocean. Anyways
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October 18, 2023
TW: Suicide
As I sit here in front of my computer, I can't help but feel the weight of the anniversary that looms over me. It's been fourteen years since my best friend took her own life and the ache in my heart is still as raw as it was on that day. Being from a small town like ours, mental health was often swept under the rug, and anyone struggling with it was immediately labeled as "crazy." But I'm here to tell you that mental health is just as important as physical health and should be treated as such.
Our town may be small, but the effects of mental health issues are still prevalent. It isn't uncommon to hear whispers and rumors about someone that is struggling, and it's even harder for them to seek out help without fear of judgment or ostracization. As such, my best friend kept her struggles hidden, and we never knew the depth of her pain until it was too late. Mental health is not something that should be taken lightly. Just like how we go to a doctor for a physical ailment, we need to seek out professional help for our mental health as well. It's important to know that having a mental health issue does not make you weak or less of a person. It's a medical issue, and it needs to be treated with the same care and attention as any physical ailment.
It's been years since that fateful day, yet it still feels like yesterday. I remember finding her and feeling like everything around me was a blur. The image of her lifeless body is etched into my mind, and I can't seem to shake it off. Her death sent me spiraling down a road of pain and grief that I wish no one ever had to go through.
But life has a funny way of throwing curveballs at you. It seems like every time I think I'm starting to heal, something else happens. The Grim Reaper has come knocking at my door one too many times, and it's starting to feel like I'm cursed. I've lost friends and relatives, and the pain never truly goes away.
It's hard to explain to people who haven't been through it, but being the one who finds a loved one's body is a trauma that never goes away. It's a memory that replays in my mind every time I close my eyes. And yet, it's something that I've had to deal with more than once. Since my friend's passing, I've lost other friends and family members, each one a tragedy in its own right. But it's my nana's death that hit me the hardest. She was one of my biggest supporters in the world and losing her felt like losing a part of myself.
My Nana was my rock through it all - the one person who never judged me or made me feel like I had to be strong all the time. There's something that she told me, "You can't expect a broken clock to still tell time. It's okay to not be okay." And she was right. Time doesn't always heal all wounds. Sometimes, we just have to learn to live with the pain. It's been a few years since she passed, and I'd like to say that time heals all wounds, but that's just not true. The pain doesn't go away, it just becomes more bearable. There are still days when I pick up the phone to call her, forgetting for a moment that she's gone. And it hurts all over again when I remember.
One of the hardest parts of dealing with all of this is trying to talk about it. People always mean well when they ask about my friend's suicide or the other deaths I've experienced, but I dread those conversations. I don't want to relive the pain, and I definitely don't want to be known as that person who's been through so much loss.
But through all of this loss, one thing has become abundantly clear to me: kindness is key. We never know what someone else is going through, and a little bit of kindness can go a long way. One of my old coworkers used to say, "You never know what day you'll need someone, so be nice to everyone." It's a sentiment that I try to live by, because it's true. We're all fighting battles that no one else can see, and a little bit of kindness goes a long way in making those battles a little easier to bear.
So, if you're still here, then thank you for reading. And if there's one thing that I hope that you take away from my ramblings today, it's this: be kind to everyone you meet. You never know what struggles they're facing or what demons they're fighting. And if you're one of the people who has lost someone, know that you're not alone. You'll may never fully heal from the pain, but you'll learn how to live with it. I wish I had the answers, but in the meantime, remember to be kind to yourself as well. You deserve it.
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Six:
God gives blessings in strange ways: Reading Day 6
Happy Birthday to meeeee! I am 33 today. We bought a new battery for my husbands van and I no longer have to start it every morning before I leave the house haha. It’s just a boring old Wednesday and I’d rather die than take my children into a restraunt so tonight we are going to get burgers at the dairy bar and eat outside on the pic nic tables. It is officially my faviorte time of the year, Summer- Sigh in contentness. I live for summer.
Also, just a quick health update. Today I am down 18 pounds. I will admint that I’ve been a little bit embarrassed about the fact that this drug has made me drop so much weight so quickly when I have been unsuccucessful on my own and I’ve worked so hard at it. But yesterday I read something in a group I follow and it really resignated with me. Also, it just so happed to come from the girl who first told me about this drug. She said this medicine is life changing, it’s too importiant to gate keep. She’s right. If she hadn’t told me about this drug I would not have done my research and decided to give it a try. I would not be down all of this crazy inflimation from my auto-immune issues and I would not be feeling like myself. So, thank you to her. My ankles have not been this skinny in FOREVER. On that note, I had a realization yesterday! Since my double steroid shots a week and a half ago I have not taken an antiinflamitory! I think it’s a combanation of the steroid shots (although my knee hurts again lol) and the simaglutide but (fingers crossed) I think the combo may have pushed me out of this crazy four month long flair I was having! I am so happy and shocked. I thought swolen pain was just my life now. Thank you, God. Amen. I do wish I could have gone to the Rumo during the flair but I hope we can just still move forward with a diagnosis without the flair.
Anywho, back to business… This morning on my way to work I listened to Genises 19-21 and let’s just say that that esclated quickly! I’m talking Angel murder and insest.
In today’s passages two angels go to Sodom and Gamorrah to see if it is as wicked as believed and Lot convinces the angels to stay at his house instead of the town square, in an attempt to save the city. The men of the city come to Lots house to find out who the men are. Lot begs the townsmen to not be wicked and even offers them his two virgin daughters- um, thanks dad! The men refuse and try to break into Lots house. The angels tell Lot to take his family and leave. Lot tries to warn the two men who are to be his son in laws but they think he’s joking. When Lot is hesitant to leave the Angels throw him, his wife and two daughters out of the town. In the valley, Lots wife turns back and turns into a pillar of salt. For whatever reason Lot decides to take his daughters into a cave instead of the city he was fleeing to. In despair the daughters decide they will never have husbands so they get Lot drunk and sleep with him so they can both get pregnant. Seriously, like what?
We then go back to Abraham and Sara. Although the timing is unclear, Abram and Sara go to ANOTHER King and present Sara as Abrams sister (also, she is his half-sister we discover- I guess that was a thing in those days) instead of his wife. The king takes Sara but before he touches her God comes to the king in a dream and tells him he will be destroyed for taking another man’s wife. The king points out that he did not know and was innocent. God tells him to return Sara and be spared. The king does and asks Abram why they would do such a thing. Abram told the king it was because he does not follow God. The king gives blessings to Abram and declares Sara innocent in the whole fiasco.
Then, Sara has her son and catches Hagar’s son laughing at him. She makes Abram (even though he does not want to- but God tells him to do what Sara wants and he will take care of them) throw them out into the wilderness. – This is the servant that she gave to Abram for the sole purpose of having this son. The boy grows up in the wilderness and Hagar gets him an Egyptian wife.
So- everybody following? Stay tuned and we will see what happens tomorrow.
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