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oktopiasscarletqueen · 3 days ago

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Neurotic Erotic (Bloodweave Fic) playlist

Alright, so, heres the playlist I made for the fic and unreasonable analysis I made relating the songs to Gale and Astarion.

I know writing all this is a touch cringe, but I’m at peace with that; BG3 is a special interest of mine, and so is musical/literary analysis. That being said, I’m not trying to write any kind of groundbreaking, profound interpretations here. Moreso, I’m yelling my funny words at you because I like to yap. And, sometimes this is what me and my little sister do for fun; J and I put on music and go, “ [insert character would like this sound in a Modern AU” or, “this song is incredibly [insert character]-core because…”

Before you jump in, I’m gonna warn you, the transition between ‘Francis Forever’ and ‘Cancer’ (track 6 & 7 respectively) is a touch jarring, as is the inclusion of ‘Cancer’ in the middle of the playlist in general, lol. Second, I’ll warn you this list is bound to get updated here and there eventually. Also, I may update/add to these in future.

I have put the songs “in order”, or as best “order” as my brain can think of right now.

Oh, and of course, spoilers ahead for essentially the whole game.

Fic Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56262295/chapters/142934368

Youtube Link: https://www.youtube.com/@Oktopiasscarletqueen/playlists

Spotify Link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3BIufG9W5783HUh3OvDboD?si=675313ddfbbe4664

Song list, and correlation (with my interpretation and justification, if that interest you at all, lol):

INTRODUCTION:

¡Aikido! (Neurotic/Erotic) – Everything is a Lot by Will Wood & The Tapeworms

This song is about being obsessed with death, or the idea of dying; Theres something very Gale & Astarion about it (one being asked to die and the other literally being dead). Astarion being dead is a sort of representation (within this fic) of Gale’s later focus and near idolisation of dying, which really reminds me of the song. It’s title and the general idea behind it inspired me to write this fic. Mostly the title, its catchy and interpretive whether you know the song or not.

2. Maya the Psychic – Hesitant Alien by Gerard Way

So, y’know the tadpoles, right?

3. Starman – The Rise & Fall of Ziggy Stardust & the Spiders from Mars (2012 Remaster) by David Bowie

So, y’know the “Dream Guardian”, right?

GALE:

4. Cover This Song (A Little Bit Mine) – Everything is a Lot by Will Wood & The Tapeworms

Early game, Gale’s caught up on Mystra, and that’s an objective fact. That’s what this song is in relation to him. Wishing to have her back, or at least her grace and favour. Like, imagine being cast aside by a god. A god who was your previous lover and kinda decides your fate.

5. First Love/Late Spring – Bury Me at Makeout Creek by Mitski

More Gale “pining” songs (you’re gonna see a lot of this). In the case of this one, the song is a sort of ‘love, life and duty is painful’. After the Mystra heartbreak, I can imagine Gale’s not exactly keen on letting anyone in else they abandon him again (Gale has a big ego, but he feels he’s not enough—he’s scared he’s not enough). Also, a few lines stick out for interpretation in regards to Gale. ‘One word from you and I would jump of this cliff I’m on, baby’ is very fitting for Mystra being like “lmao, kys” and how Gale is fully ready to do that as a show of faith. Another line that I wanna note, ‘And I was so young when I behaved 25…’ reminds me of not only Gale’s early magical prowess, but the fact Gale being only 8 when he met Mystra for the first time; Gale had big shoes to fill, extremely high expectations to live up to and also an omnipotent, ever-present god leaning over his shoulder. This is where I’m gonna put a link to this Tumblr post because the OP does a fantastic job at dissecting all that (TW: mentions of grooming): https://www.tumblr.com/kirain/739521230081851392/i-want-to-take-a-moment-to-talk-about-gales

6. Francis Forever - Bury Me at Makeout Creek by Mitski

Kinda similar to above, but more “romantic” in a really twisted way. Gale really did love Mystra, I think; In the case of this song, it’s less about him as a character but more his past feelings and the grief there (obviously this isn’t what the songs exactly about, but we’re running on interpreting them into fictional characters, so… lol.

7. Cancer – The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance

So, y’know the Nether Brain fight and Gale’s Orb, right?

8. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road – Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (Remastered) by Elton John

Acceptance and a return to the “average”. If you don’t let him ascend, Gale has the option to just live life at his own pace, and for me that’s his canon ending. My boy deserves a rest, and this song just remind me of that.

BLOODWEAVE (songs that just scream them)

9. Cannibal Queen – Tell It to the Volcano by Miniature Tigers

I just feel like the lyrics suit Gale’s feeling for Astarion in a really fun way, idk man. It’s just weirdly them-core.

10. Baby You’re a Haunted House – Single (no album) by Gerard Way

Another ‘Gale to Astarion’ song. ‘…you’re a haunted house’ as a lyric reads as someone who has a lot of metaphorical ghosts in them (closet full of skeletons). Shout-out to the versus: ‘In the dark, we dance together…’ ‘In the dark we laugh together, because the misery’s funny to you’ ‘Sometimes you scare me, but I’ll come around to you… And I’ll find a way to scare you too’.

That’s just them (you’ll hear this from this section a lot).

11. Red Moon – Everything is a Lot by Will Wood & The Tapeworms

First and foremost, this song is SO underappreciated (as is the album). It’s one of my favourites. This so in particular just sounds like the embodiment of Bloodweave. I take a lot of inspiration from this song when it comes to Neurotic Erotic (the fic). This song analysis would be paragraphs upon paragraphs long, so I’ll sum this up as simply as I can:

- Astarion is kinda ethereal looking (moon-elf-core) - Gales heart go doki-doki later in fic (referring to the 5th verse: 'Waxing to the rhythm writhing my chest’) - Gale and Astarion are drawn together by circumstance - They remain in each others orbit regardless of circumstance - Night is their time

Theres so much more, but I’ll leave some of the linking to you, lol

12. The Rhumba of Death – Camp Here & There: Campfire Songs Edition by Will Wood

*see to every other comment in this section*

13. We’ll Never have Sex - Single (no album) by Leith Ross

I think it’s not necessarily an argument that Astarion has issues around intimacy, particularly sexual intimacy. That’s what this is; this is why the song is here.

TRANSITION (A heads up to Astarion Territory, lol. Plus, I just like the song :P)

14. Interlude – Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge by My Chemical Romance

Every playlist needs a good intermission, and this one has an Astarion-vibe to it. Serves as a good heads-up for whats to come and as a cool down from the previous song instead of just jumping right into a different tone. Plus, I’ve not gotten over my emo days, so…

ASTARION

15. The End – The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance

The end. The end of Astarions mortal life, the end of being under Cazador’s thumb while tadpoled.

16. Dead! – The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance

You can’t put ‘The End.’ without ‘Dead!’ and vice-versa. But, the lyrics do speak to me in encapsulating some surface-level Astarion plot, especially when it comes to his mortal, Magistrate days. Did Astarion get what he deserved? (referring to the versus: ‘I’ll be here waiting, babe; Did you get what you deserve?’). The BG3 artbook tells us Astarion was a corrupt magistrate, so this feel fitting. It’s speculative, but I think Astarion wasn’t too popular when he was alive, lol.

17. The Sharpest Lives – The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance

‘I’ve really been on a bender and it shows’Astarion doesn’t have the best coping mechanisms and skills, and this song is that. Plus, it’s another vampire-related song so it fits in well. And the lines below feel like they were written for him (y’know what I mean?): ‘You can take off your skin in the cannibal glow, Juilet loves the beat, and the lust it commands, Drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands, Romeo’

18. Brand New City - Lush by Mitski

I feel like Astarion has a lot of issues around control, like specifically in regard to needing to be in control in some small way. He’s emotionally withering away with his destructive ways, but it’s the only way he knows how to grasp onto some semblance of control over his life. ‘I think my ways are wearing me down, But if I gave up on being pretty, I wouldn’t know how to be alive,’

19. The Jetset Life is Gonna Kill You – Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge by My Chemical Romance

This song is about Gerard Ways substance abuse and struggles with it, his addiction personified as a woman. In a similar vein, I’m using this song as a representation of Astarion’s own addiction (or obsession) to power and revenge. Its fuelling him, but its also slowly him a dark, toxic (and even dangerous) path.

20. Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In! – SELF-iSH by Will Wood & The Tapeworms

Another case of a song about self-destructive behaviours that just really fits Astarions own trauma and his response to it. Will Wood is a genius lyricist, don’t @ me, and this is a prime example of his work capturing addiction and other self-destructive behaviours, feeling powerless in stopping/not being able to stop, even though you could (with a lot of effort of therapy, mind you).

21. Kill All Your Friends – Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance

The opening lines capture more Astarion plot: ‘Well, you can hide a lot about yourself, But honey, what’re you gonna do?’ Mainly, this song just feels like it fits him, especially with ‘I was killing before killing was cool,’.

22. Laplace’s Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!) – The Normal Album by Will Wood

Another vampire song, so naturally its here. A number of the lines in this song feel like inner turmoil within Astarion, but I can’t just copy paste the whole thing here, lol. Side note, this song has been in my private Astarion playlist for the past 2-ish years and I’ve always been like, ‘man, I wish I had the time to make an animatic to this (or Hand Me My Shovel) for Astarion’, and recently I stumbled upon an Astarion animatic someone made to this song and was SO SHOOK. So, I’m going to link it, because its fantastic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWKObQgHaGg

23. Your Body, My Temple - Camp Here & There: Campfire Songs Edition by Will Wood

POV: Astarion’s manipulating you.

24. Vampire Reference in a Minor Key – “In case I make it,” by Will Wood

Very Astarion-core song, but specifically in regards to his softer side (in the case of this fic, his feelings down the line for Gale). Obviously the vampire song is gonna remind me of the twink vampire.

25. The Chain (2004 Remaster) – Rumours by Fleetwood Mac

So, y’know Cazador and Astarions “siblings”, right?

26. Against the Kitchen Floor – “In case I make it,” by Will Wood

So, yknow the confession Astarion has in act 2, right? My canon ending for Astarion is him healing, finally. He’s a spawn, yes, but he’s making the most of that his immortal life as he can. I’ll say it again, Will Wood is a GENUIS and (most definitely because it comes from his own experiences) he captures the process of healing but not being fully there in this song. In relation to Astarion, this is him trying—genuinely trying to be better and work out what he’s going through. He’s not there, he won’t be for a long time, but he’s willing to try. Trying is the first step.

#bg3 #bg3 fanfiction #bloodweave #astarion #gale of waterdeep #astarion x gale #astarion/gale #fanfic #gale dekarios #fic playlist #baldur’s gate 3

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inevitably-johnlocked · 1 year ago

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hey hey steph! good morning or afternoon, wherever you are . just seeing if you have any fic lists that center mainly around sherlock’s time away/sherl in serbia?

Hey Nonny!

Ah, I have made a community post here before called Aftermath of Serbia / Serbia Fics (Dec 2022) that have several fics on it that you may enjoy, as well as some fics on my blog tag here that has some other fics not on the above Community post. AND I also have some similar lists linked below!

I went through my bookmarks and my MFL lists, and did a keyword search and organized them below, so I hope this satisfies the need!

And these aren't meant to be confused with Post-S2 fics! These are fics that deal SPECIFICALLY with Sherlock's time away and the trauma it caused! If you have a fic that fits that bill, please add it! This is a list that's been long-time coming, since I've been asked a lot for them :)

SERBIA / AFTERMATH OF HIATUS FICS

See also:

John Finds Out About Hiatus

John Joins Sherlock During Hiatus

Sherlock Returns from Hiatus Injured

Sherlock’s PTSD

The Death of Doubt by Gingerhermit (E, 6,584 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate Canon, BAMF John, POV Sherlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Drama, Meddling Mycroft) – Mycroft asks for John’s help in rescuing Sherlock from his Serbian captors.

Both Sides Now by Silvergirl (M, 14,724 w., 5 Ch. || Post-TEH / Reunion Fix-It, Bed Sharing, First Kiss / Time, Undercover John, Couple for a Case, Assassin Mary, Big Brother Mycroft, Norfolk Coast, Angry John, First Kiss, Worried Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Alternating POV, Infidelity, Meddling Mycroft, Emotional Love Making, Matchmaker Mycroft) – Sherlock, undercover on the Norfolk coast, texts that he needs help; John is still seething after Sherlock’s gambit in the train car, and he refuses. When Sherlock goes missing, Mycroft sends John in to pose as Sherlock’s bit on the side.

Your Perfect Offering by CaitlinFairchild (E, 44,609 w., 6 Ch. || Hurt / Comfort, First Time, Romance, Angst With Happy Ending, Rape Recovery, Oral Sex, Hand Jobs, Past Rape/Non-con, Psychological Trauma) – “Sherlock,” John continues, careful and quiet. “I’ve seen your back. I know you were hurt. I don’t want to pry, I don’t want to cause you discomfort but...I’m starting to think something else happened there. In Serbia. ”Sherlock rolls away and sits up on the edge of the bed, his back to John. “A great many things happened in Serbia,” he says, flat and remote. “None of them were pleasant.”

Winter’s Storm by LoloLolly (M, 51,812 w., 11 Ch. || Canon Compliant Through TFP/S4 Is Canon, Alternating POV, Established / New Relationship, Parentlock with Rosie, Explicit Torture, Mentions of Sherlock’s PTSD, Mentions of Human Trafficking, References to Child Abuse, Violence, Kidnapping, Captivity, Angst with Happy Ending, Fluff, Case Fic, BAMF / Soldier John, Sherlock Whump, Mycroft and John Work Together, Marriage Proposal, Autistic Sherlock, Lestrade Finds Out, Polyglot Sherlock, Aftermath of Serbia) – Sherlock had buried the past. Shut Serbia away in the attic of his mind palace. Muddy footprints at a heinous crime scene, however, have led him right back to old enemies. And right back to captivity. For God’s sake, Mycroft. Part 2 of the Earthly Pomp (Is But a Dream) series

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

MARKED FOR LATER

And one day you'll see the scars by thepurplewombat (T, 1,550 w., 1 Ch. || Post TEH, Aftermath of Torture, Angry John, Scars, Sherlock Whump) – songofages and I had a conversation about Sherlock's back in TEH, because really, how much must it have hurt to let John slam him into the floor like that after everything he'd gone through, and this happened. It turned out more angsty than I'd intended, and more Mrs Hudson-focussed, but I don't think you can ever have too much angst, or too much Mrs Hudson, for that matter.

English as a Foreign Language by standbygo (G, 1,739 w., 2 Ch. || Post-TRF, PTSD Sherlock, Reunion) – Sherlock is not quite right after Mycroft pulls him out of Serbia.

He Is Different, This One by ASilvergirl (G, 2,691 w., 1 Ch. || TEH Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Serbia, Neuroatypical/Autistic Sherlock, Snarky Sherlock, Big Brother Mycroft, Pining Sherlock) – How would the Serbian "interrogation" go if his captors knew that Sherlock was neuroatypical and had synaesthesia? This is an alternate version of the scene from "The Empty Hearse."

Wounded by Gregorovitch (T, 3,309 w., 1 Ch. || TEH Fic, Aftermath of Violence, Awkward Conversations, Sherlock’s Scars, Angst with Happy Ending) – John accidentally gets to see all of Sherlock's wounds after the Fall. Time for both of them to have a serious talk.

By the Rivers of Babylon by verdant_fire (T, 3,359 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post HLV Canon Divergence, Love Declarations, Exile, Pining Sherlock, Longing, Angst, POV Sherlock, Reunions, First Kiss) – Sherlock goes back to Serbia, and endures exile, boredom/torture, and a certain chemical defect, for the sake of one person and three improbable words.

Maybe I'am amazed by honeybee_motorcyles (T, 3,448+ w., 3/7 Ch. || WIP || Post TRF, Implied Rape/Non Con, Sherlock’s Not Okay, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied Sexual Content, HIV/AIDS, POV John) – In which what happened to Sherlock in Serbia had a consequence that lasted a lifetime, (literally).

Places in the Mind by Calais_Reno (T, 4,411 w., 1 Ch. || Post HLV, POV First Person Sherlock, BAMF John, Hurt Sherlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Memory Loss, Pining, Heavy Angst, Regret, Hurt/Comfort, Rescue, Protective John, Love Confessions, Drugs) – John rescues Sherlock in Serbia after he is wounded. This takes place after the Tarmac scene. Part 7 of Just Johnlock

The Great Escape by Castiel_For_King (M, 22,299 w., 8 Ch. || PTSD Sherlock, Sherlock is Not Okay, Unstable Sherlock, Aftermath of Torture, Flashbacks, Protective John, Dissociation, Suicide Attempt, Big Brother Mycroft, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss) – Sherlock's mind has ruptured...and he didn't even notice until it was spilling it's contents like a broken jello mold. The lines between what he thought was real and what he wished was real start to unravel and Sherlock finds himself trapped in the clutches of his own broken mind, with no way to escape. Luckily, he has his conductor of light to lead him out of the darkness.

Learn My Scars by meet_me_in_samarra (M, 38,075 w., 31 Ch. || Post-TRF, TEH Divergence, Aftermath of Serbia, Sherlock Whump, Caring John, Sherlock-centric, Big Brother Mycroft, POV First Person Sherlock, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Injuries / Scars) – After being thrown down and strangled, Sherlock leaves John in the restaurant, angry and deeply hurt. When John follows Sherlock to 221b, he learns that Sherlock's scars have not been acquired by “gallivanting around” for two years.

An Aftertaste Of Memory by Raithwithwings57 (M, 39,009+ w., 20/? Ch. || Post TRF, Rosie is in this Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with Happy Ending, Amnesia (Sherlock), Torture, Scars, PTSD, Divorced John, Divorced Lestrade, Misunderstandings) – Sherlock Holmes was believed by most to have died by jumping to his death. A few people, Mycroft Holmes included believed he died in somewhere in Serbia, tortured to death, though his body was never found. Sherlock Holmes himself doesn't believe either of the above, obviously. After being extensively tortured in Serbia, he suffered a traumatic brain injury that left him with amnesia, and deafness. But the doctors say that the deafness is psychological in nature. It doesn't matter much to him. All he knows is that his name is William, and that he was once (and it seems he always will be) in love with a man by the name of John Watson. John has suffered much in the last eight years. Losing his best friend to suicide, marrying and then later being divorced by his wife, battling for joint custody of his child, and generally trying to forge ahead and figure out what the seemingly bleak future holds in store for him. But what he could never expect is Sherlock's sudden return. Nor the man's conviction that once upon a time they were madly in love.

Not the King's Men by StoneWingedAngel (T, 56,183 w., 25 Ch. || Aftermath of Torture, Swearing) – John finds Sherlock three years after he thought he'd buried him, scared and injured; broken to such an extent he can barely recognise those trying to help him. Battling against too many unanswered questions and his own feelings, John sets out to put him back together, but never stops to consider Sherlock's return may be part of a greater punishment in store for the both of them.

Flesh and Blood and Bone and Heart by SilentAuror (E, 59,990 w., 3 Ch. || Post S3/TAB Fix It, Romance, Terrorism, Bombs, Suspense, Kissing, Indfidelity, Murder, POV John) – As John takes Sherlock back to Baker Street rather than seeing him off to his mission in Serbia, Sherlock decides to reveal how very human he is, after all, and the fall-out will have enormous consequences for them both...

I want to go home. Series by IwillbeReichenbach (E, 82,514+ w. across 3 works || Series WiP || TEH / Post-Serbia, Canon Compliant, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Sherlock-centric, Torture, Violence, BAMF Sherlock, Sherlock Whump, Canon Compliant, Mycroft To The Rescue, Dark, Pain/Hurt, Injury, Waterboarding, Electricity Misuse, Rape Aftermath/Recovery, Humiliation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Physical Abuse, Broken Sherlock) – A version of the events that occur in Serbia and shortly thereafter. Sherlock is in for a rough time. I have tried my best to keep it canon compliant.

Shatter Me by Loveismyrevolution (E, 171,074+ w., 21/26 Ch. || WiP || Sherlock Dances, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Angst with Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, Introspection, Mutual Pining, UST, Idiots in Love, Big Brother Mycroft, Implied Drug Use, Suicidal Thoughts, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions) – This is a story about two men trying to find their way back into the comfort of their companionship. No easy task in the aftermath of the events of Reichenbach, a wedding and a shot through the heart. They are facing a very rocky road ahead with a lot of introspection, misunderstandings, angst and pining. They each try to cope in their own particular way. Eventually, they'll find a way to communicate and learn about the true nature of their feelings.

Scheherezade by sgam76 (G, 197,576 w., 45 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF/Pre-TSo3, PTSD Sherlock, Implied/Referenced Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Humour, Protective John, Papa Lestrade, Big Brother Mycroft, BAMF John, BAMF Sherlock, Aftermath of Serbia, Past Child Abuse, Childhood Memories, Drunk Sherlock, Canon Compliant, Suicidal Thoughts / Attempt) – Sherlock is home, he and John are returning to cases, and all's right with the world--right? But a series of minor mishaps and injuries makes two things very clear to his friends and family: first, Sherlock's time away wasn't the grand adventure everyone has assumed it was; and second, that time has left Sherlock with a legacy that's bleeding into his life today. Sherlock is Not Okay, and it's not going away. Part 1 of the Scheherezade 'verse series

Define Vulnerabilty by TheGracefulBlueCat (T, 240,606 w. 97 Ch. || Canon Compliant, Aftermath of Torture, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Scars, Sherlock's Violin, Doctor John, John is a Good Friend, Flashbacks, Case Fic, Sedation, Sherlock is a Mess / Not Okay, Nightmares, Big Brother Mycroft, Asperger's Sherlock, Fainting, Sherlock's Mind Palace, Triggers, Panic Attacks, Hurt Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Blood and Gore, Drugs / Drug Use, Helpless / Vulnerable Sherlock, Protective John, Painful Repressed Memories, PTSD Sherlock, Medical Procedures, Drugged Lestrade, Lestrade Whump, Drugged Sherlock, Recovery, Crying Sherlock, Dissociation, Forehead Touching) – Shortly after Sherlock's return John realises something is very wrong with his friend. He, Greg and Mycroft try to help Sherlock as he falls deeper and deeper into the abyss called PTSD. But Sherlock is not ready to allow anyone in, but then the events of the current case cause him to hit bottom hard. Part 8 of the Lessons in Friendship series, Part 1 of the Hiatus series

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #aftermath of serbia fics #hiatus fics #serbia fics #sherlock's ptsd

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jogabsha · 3 months ago

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About me!

Hiiii everyone. Haven’t made a post like this in a long time (if ever cause I don’t remember lol).

My name is Jogabsha! Not my real name obviously but it’s a nickname I’ve used since around the time I was 5. I’m currently 17 but 18 in about a month in October!

I have a little sister ( @puppyie-innit! :D)! Kinda accepted her as my sister when we met a couple years ago and have been inseparable since! She’s also part of the agere community and a lot of you probably found me cause she tags me a lot lolol. Oh also I’m her CG!

My goals in life are pretty simple. I want to own a C3 corvette (hoping to get a 1982 later this year so the goal will be done!), I want to build my own house in a place with mountains and vast pine forests, I want to get my doctorate in paleontology, and I want to discover and name my own species! I also wanna research Acrocanthosaurus because it’s one of my favorite dinosaurs!

I have adhd/ocd and believe I may be on the spectrum but haven’t gotten evaluated yet!

I’m an artist! Specifically I do a lot of paleoart!

I was that one kid who only ever watched documentaries growing up (though I did watch a bunch of other shows in my childhood too)!

Things I like!

I’m absolutely OBSESSED with dinosaurs and paleontology and prehistory!

My favorite color is like this lighter shade of blue that I don’t remember the name of

I love the walking with dinosaurs series and all its offshoot shows and specials. My absolute favorites are chased by dinosaurs and sea monsters, both with Nigel Marvin!

My favorite color combo is blue and orange

My favorite color gradient is blue to yellow to orange!

I love C3 corvettes and it’s my dream car!

I love playing video games on stream! I do this on YouTube usually on weekends under the same name!

I play multiple instruments! Mainly piano but also guitar, and a little bit of flute and ukulele. I’ve even composed some of my own songs on piano which I’ve uploaded to my second channel. It also has Jogabsha in the username so it should be easy to find but I’ll link it in my bio too!

I love learning new stuff. I will spend an entire day watching video essays and documentaries on stuff I’ve never even heard of before!

I love dinosaur revolution. It’s got really good storytelling for a documentary and I love the way they told stories based on actual fossil specimens!

I absolutely ADORE dinosaur king. Grew up on that show and I have over $3.5k worth of cards and collectibles from that franchise.

I love undertale sm. I have every song in the game memorized. I also love deltarune to the same degree!

About this blog

This is entirely meant for just me posting my art and my hyper-fixations. I also might repost my sister or paleontology posts every now and then.

This is a safe space for the agere community because my sister and I are both a part of it. Absolutely NO sexualization or anything of the sort here please!

There will also be no violent speech/hate speech/politics/name calling/bullying on anything related to this blog. This is a space where I want people to come and just nerd out with me on cool topics. I don’t care who those people are or what they believe, and you shouldn’t be hung up on that stuff either.

This blog is safe for ALL ages. Please be mindful of that when you decide to interact with my posts.

Thanks for reading through this! Will probably add more to it as time goes on but this ai good for now. Hope you all enjoy the Dino-nerd posting!

#paleoart #dinosaurs #dinosaur #about me #age regression #sfw agere #sfw interaction only #sfw regression #C3 corvette #1982 corvette #paleontology #art #paleoblr

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seoafin · 2 years ago

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i can see it. barou working out in a dimly lit room all huffing puffing with his earphones plug in, and when someone ask what he is listening to bc he has that one serious face on…it's lacrimosa or moonlight sonata, by next week violinist!mc and him would be sitting tgt and discuss classical music or sth.

ironically, the next person who i can imagine to somehow get along with violinist!mc would be,, shidou. (idk why but admitting to liking him is kinda embarrassing, maybe it's bc of that scene in the u20 match LMFAO). not sure how when and why but they might be on a amicable term, considering that shidou top subject next to p.e is actually art…maybe he'll understand mc's grind and it somehow fell onto his whole speech thing

i gotta get this out, but how petty is violinist!mc even tho it has been 6 years, is she still bitter to the point that even on a 50%-70% discount day for shoes brands, if she saw either nagi or reo the first thing she walked in to the store as the store's wallpaper (they're the brand ambassador or sth) will she just turn on her heels and left then and there to find another brand instead 😭 and considering that mc may or may not went big (she's in the states?? i think?? bc you wrote "Times Square").

is she still playing violin on a stage/ competition, or has she branch out her like making osts for movies/ games/ etc. and why did nagi even suddenly thought of her after all those years and become a pining wife when her husband left for the sea. ,, if that's counted as spoiler for future chaps…then it's fine to leave us in the dark!!!

your fic never failed to reel ppl in, including me,, sth abt your writing style are so HFGDHGDGHVH

pls rion is absolutely gorg…her EYELASHES!!!!, when that director guy spill the beans i never been felt gobsmack…i thought that maybe she's in a 3rd party of the assassination community or sth instead of…[redacted].

and now that you point out, i have no idea why but i immediately link nagumo and the faceless men from GoT tgt???? probs its bc they are assassins but when you broke him down i just…connected sth…and idk why. tho i rly agree, that he's not entirely a blank slate, like he does have a personality before sth in the JCC flashback arc makes him on that 404 error personality if someone try to pry + that bloodlust scene in the temple when the guy pissed him off

chrollo and nagumo before the narrative sent them into a spiral are so!!!! they are my meow meows (but if i saw someone drag them in a post i probably would be laughing along tho dhfvbhdbhd like get their ass!!), the baby phantom troupes past are so TwT… - 🐱

spoilers for my nagireo fic

help not shidou.......but honestly i feel like any character that acknowledges violinmc's commitment and passion for the violin would immediately get along with her. she's the type to backtrack once they compliment her. she would definitely think shidou is a delinquent but then he says something about how her form was beautiful and she's like well. i was mistaken about him. but yes she's petty as hell but also there's off the screen character development bc she later acknowledges that the two of them were just kids and she was (un)rightfully hurt and immature about nagi making other friends LMAO

she issss in the states <3333 well briefly. i think after high school she went to a conservatory in germany and then played in various different orchestras as first chair. haven't ironed out those details yet. i think nagi has always kept violinmc in his mind lmao and tidbit i really really wanna add to a later drabble is that nagi was watching mc's performances on his phone in bllk. i think it'd just be very nagi esque for him to one day just go. yeah. i should talk to her. no rhyme or reason. one day it hits him how much he wants to see her again.

ahhfhhwbgbwe i love rion. i want to write the gayest drabble ever featuring that line of hers about how you can learn a lot about a person by tasting their tears or smt??? is that not the gayest thing ever.

#SHIDOU'S BEST SUBJECT AFTER PE IS ART??? honestly. i can see it.#rion is for women and women only!

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daisybeewrites · 3 years ago

Text

Academy Blues — Prologue

word count: 1.8k

warnings: not any for this chapter

ship: Dousy, background Fitzsimmons and Philinda

okay y’all.. here it is. the first installment of my first LONG TERM SERIES!!!!!! ahhhh i’m so excited. literally i cant wait to continue this and see where it takes me. i have an idea and a few different planning sheets, but honestly i have no idea where exactly this will end up. i love each and single one of you <3 thank you for reading!! this is also posted on Ao3, and linked in the masterlist.

Daisy hated the sound of the bells at The Academy. Screeching, awful, way too loud, the bells were the bane of her existence. They all wore standard-issue watches from the lab that monitored vitals and gave them reminders, and also told the time, for god’s sake! Fitz had even modified hers so that she could play snake on the tiny watch face! There was no need for the bells to be so excruciatingly disruptive. Though, Daisy guessed, there were many things more tortuous than bells ringing every hour and fifteen minutes.

Daisy slowed to a jog, cutting her morning run short. The bright side to being a third-year was that you chose your schedule, for the most part, and that meant Daisy had a free first period for four out of five days of classes. She usually spent this free period getting an extra hour in at the gym, boxing or sparring with Mack or Bobbi, two fourth years that had reluctantly taken her under their wings, or sleeping in. She reserved sleeping in for especially rough nights where visions of ashes and earthquakes and lightning returned time and time again, no matter how many deep breaths she took or sheep she counted.

But this morning was not one of those mornings. She had been up before sunrise, a little before her usual alarm and silently headed out of her dorm for a run. It was humid this time of year on most Virginia mornings, but never so hot that it made Daisy feel as if she was being smothered. The cooler air chilled her sweaty skin, her chest rising and falling as she jogged up the three flights of steps to the second years’ dorms. Down one long hallway, and she arrived at her room.

Daisy had been given her own room at the start of last year, complete with poly-adaptic-proto-whatever panels, which she had painted a pastel shade of purple, to compliment the greens of her cacti and the dark purples and blacks of everything else in her room. Even May had agreed that the stark white was too ”psych wing” for a bedroom. Daisy was grateful for the space, but considering the panels and the private room were only necessary since...

She shuddered. Grabbing her shower caddy, Daisy set off to the bathroom at the opposite end of the hall, hoping no one else was spending a free first period at the dorms.

Her shoulder-length waves were wet from bouncing against her neck, and starting to become annoying now that the sweat had dried and was starting to itch. Picking the white tiled shower furthest away from the door, Daisy quickly turned the water on, checked the temperature, pulled her sports bra and shorts off and hopped into the shower. Shampoo, condition, soap body, rinse. Checking her watch, Daisy found that she had showered in record time, less than three minutes. After spending another five just enjoying the hot water, she hopped out and changed into her class clothes.

Dark purple leggings, Coulson’s grey vintage SHIELD tee and a pair of white running sneakers she had “borrowed” from Jemma completed her look. Passing the mirrors, Daisy tried not to glance at herself. If her hair was messy or her undereye bags a bit too dark, she didn’t want to know. Instead, she headed back to her room to pack her bag for the day.

SHIELD-issued laptop, extra hard drives and a charger, Advanced CS 3: Ethical Hacking: Theory and Application, Advanced CS 4: Secrets of The Coding Languages, Physics notebook, an essay that was three days late on some boring book about international laws, and her sparring gear were all thrown into the black bag. She gave a second glance at the Russian notebooks Bobbi had loaned to her, promising that she’d learn without taking the class. Oh well, she still had all of this term to start. Plus, would she ever really need more than the dirty words?

One look at the alarm clock that sat on her dark hardwood night table showed that she still had almost forty-five minutes before she had to be in the computer lab. Sitting down on her bed, Daisy ran a hand over the grey blanket May had given her.

Daisy’s relationship with May and Coulson had been something of a problem with other students when she first got here. Some had been okay with the obvious paternal love Coulson showed for Daisy, showing her around and checking up on her, scheduling lunch dates and reminding her of tests. May was more subtle, texting her links to tai chi videos when she noticed Daisy getting too stressed or letting Daisy do her own thing if she saw that she was overwhelmed. Of course, none of the other students knew her family history, what she had gone through just to realize that May and Coulson were more her parents than her biological father and mother could ever be. She would see them later today—May during field training and Coulson in between lectures in the canteen.

Daisy walked over to her window to open her blinds, staring out at the campus she had grown to love. The large brick buildings scattered around acres of the Virginia countryside; green fields meant for physical activities like sparring or obstacle courses, or simply basking in the weather to study or chat; the dorms—red brick and concrete melded together to upgrade and expand the charming style of previously-built homes.

Grabbing a protein bar, Daisy headed to the canteen to make a green smoothie (and maybe snatch a cup of joe before she had to listen to an hour-long lecture on the reason SHIELD must cooperate with the UN’s stupid rules at 7:30 in the morning). Smelling the pines and morning dew surrounding her, she smiled slightly. Maybe this term wouldn’t be so bad.

———————————————————————

Daniel Sousa was a man of honor. He was a man of great strength. Agent Daniel Sousa, previously Officer Daniel Sousa in the US Army, was a man who could fix his damn alarm clock on his own.

Just, not today. Or the day before.

So, Agent Daniel Sousa was now hurrying his way to class at The SHIELD Academy, books in hand and gym bag slung over his shoulders. Catching a glance at himself in the shiny glass doors of the bio-chem building, he groaned. He hadn’t even brushed his hair. And, looking down, he discovered he was wearing two different shoes.

This is the college experience everyone raves about, he thought bitterly. You see, Daniel Sousa had enlisted to the army straight out of high school, forgoing university. He climbed the ranks impressively quickly, earning his place as second-in-command and reconnaissance scout in the 28th Infantry Regiment. Unfortunately, after only four years in the army, Sousa was injured in the field, losing his leg and almost his life.

He came back to the US a war hero, and yet, he felt he wasn't finished. So, when a recruiter named Peggy Carter knocked on his door claiming to be from SHIELD (“Wow, you guys are still a thing?”), he leapt at the chance to continue fighti-...doing good. The Academy wasn’t exactly what he had bargained for, though. Trying to earn his B.A. and training to be an agent at the same time was grueling, but nothing he couldn’t deal with.

No, six different one hour and fifteen minute long classes plus mandatory physical therapy every day wasn’t going to break him. Learning how to be a communications agent and re-starting field training and catching up on general college education was no problem. Pressuring himself to be the best, to break the limits, to get past all his weaknesses was just another miniscule feather to add to the pile.

Unless his stupid alarm clock broke. Then yes, Agent Daniel Sousa would fail, buckle under the weight and be left on the floor to die.

Maybe he was being a bit dramatic.

One bunny-slippered right foot and a sneakered left leg carried him forward, propelled by a quickly chugged orange Celsius and his sheer will not to be late.

Daniel heard the late bell ring out, understanding that, on his first day of class, he would be counted late. It wasn’t like him, not at all. Especially when his first class was a refresher course on field tactics and covert strategy, something in which he was already aces.

He let out a sigh, slowing as he rounded the corner into the comms building. At the Academy, most buildings were grouped into categories: the cafeteria, gym and pool, and student resource building all to the south; the gun range, obstacle course, and specialized gym to the east; bio-chem labs, tech labs, and smaller rooms for lectures to the west; the computer labs and comms buildings right smack in the middle; and dorms to the north.

He swiped a key card with his driver’s license picture and student ID, unlocking the sliding doors that led to the computer labs. It was quicker to short cut through them than to walk around the building to the entrance closest to communications classrooms.

It wasn’t because he knew a certain broody brunette spent her mornings in the lab.

No, it wasn’t, because she wasn’t in her usual seat in the corner, typing away.

He slowly walked through the rows of computers, searching for a familiar black backpack. Nothing was there.

“Hey, Sousa,” an accented female voice called behind him. He whipped around to see who it was, feeling just a twinge of disappointment when Elena, or, as most people knew her, Yo-Yo, was leaning against the door frame. Yo-Yo, a fourth year operations trainee, who was very close with Daisy.

“Hey, Yo-Yo. Good morning,” he called, “I’m running a bit late.”

Elena checked her nails casually, “Way to state the obvious. You were running faster than I could trying to get here before the bell.”

Daniel rubbed the back of his neck and blushed. “Yeah…”

“Daisy’s running late today, too.”

Daniel looked around, pretending that hearing Daisy’s name didn’t make him want to smile. “Oh, of course. She’s usually here early.”

Elena nodded, chuckling a little at his response. She couldn’t tell if he was oblivious or just a bad liar. It was charming, really. “Right. See ya ‘round, Sousa!”

“See ya,” He replied. He thought he heard a quiet ‘Lovable nerds’ coming from the direction she left, but he couldn’t be sure.

And so, with a last look around the computer lab, Daniel set off to arrive late to May’s lecture.

———————————————————————

okay okay,,, what do y’all think?? like/reblog and let me know! it’s the best way to support writers and it only takes a second! stay tuned for more chapters!!

#academy blues #daisy johnson #agents of s.h.i.e.l.d.#dousy #daisy johnson x daniel sousa #timequake #daniel sousa #jemma simmons #leo fitz #fitzsimmons #philinda #philindaisy #ashby’s fics #marvels aos #au!

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zet-sway · 3 years ago

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@the-wip-project day 35:

I don't know what today's question is but I gotta write a wall of text about what happened last night because holy shit

I was on the verge of falling asleep and, like I usually do, I decided to hunt for some spicy fanfics to read on my phone. I found one.

All my posts are long but this one is real fucking long. CW for touching on dub-con and injury mentioned in the type of context it probably shouldn't be.

It's time for me to admit that not only am I a oneshot writer, I'm also a oneshot reader. I am drawn to short fanfics. If I click on a chaptered fic, it's (usually) because it's rated E for smut and I'll go in with every intention of skimming it for the spicy bits. I'm not proud of this. I've avoided saying this for years because I don't want to disappoint people who work hard on their very long and well thought out chaptered stories. I have a short attention span, and I know what I want.

But anyway, last night I clicked on a fic with 5 chapters and some amount of words, around 30k? Long, by my standards, but I was tired and I just wanted something to read while I dozed off.

This particular fic hooked me in, though. I still skimmed it, but the writing was so unique in a way that made me writhe with writer's envy and admiration. Whoever wrote this had their own language - nothing borrowed - their own vision.

I guess I should tell the good people who read my posts (ya'll, seriously, thank you) that the fic in topic is called Fault Lines by Recidiva on AO3. I would link to it but uhhhh I may be using my work PC for "extracurricular purposes" right this moment ^^; so maybe when I get home I'll remember to add it.

I skimmed it - like I said above - for the spicy parts. It generally follows the plot of Bioware's canon. Thane begins as possessive and manipulative, likely uncomfortably close to dub-con for a lot of people. He kisses her and knows full well that his kiss will make her willing but intoxicated, and how he will use that to fulfil himself. But as the story progresses, he falls in love. Their relationship is what I'll call "edgy." Both of them are renegades. There's a scene where they get down in the shuttle after a fight and they're both still injured and it borders on downright unrealistic but fuck it, it's fanfic and I bought it. However their relationship develops a certain heart-wrenching tenderness. She asks him what Siha means over and over again, and eventually tells him she thinks "bitch" when he says it. But in that moment they have a playful banter, he knows full well she's probably already looked it up on the extranet, and they fall into bed together. The smut is mind-boggling.

By the time it gets to Shepard's arrest, he's taken up a place on Earth and visits her, breaks into her house arrest. There's a scene where they see each other for the first time in a while, she tells him how much she's missed his mouth and how it's not right how bad she wants him, and wants him bad enough to smother him with affection. She says something to the effect of "if you're looking to die, I'd volunteer to be the cause," implying that her lust is powerful enough to endanger his life. And it was at this moment I realized I fucked up.

It's established that I live in my own headcanon and I'm not burdened with considering the end of Thane's life as part of my fics. And the suspension of disbelief was such that I forgot he doesn't make it. So at this moment in the fic, chapter 4 out of 5, I realized "Oh shit this isn't going to have a happy ending." I skipped to the end right away, I wanted to confirm my fears.

In their final exchange, she asks him to lie to her - something that's repeated in other chapters of the story. I forget what he says, I was reading desperately, but he asks her in return to tell him something true. She kisses him and tells him she loves him, and he breathes his last breath with the lingering tingle of their kiss to carry him to the other side.

I was so entrenched in the depth of their relationship up to that point. The level of fathomless love the author conveyed, unlike anything I've ever managed to write before, but more realistic to my own understanding of love as I've experienced it. Not because they're renegades, but just the selflessness with which they feel, communicate, banter, and make love.

When I read that last paragraph, something inside me broke. That sounds dramatic but that's honestly how I would describe it. It felt like waking up from a night terror, when you bolt up in bed from a dream so bad you immediately get up even if it's 4am because nothing feels real and you're so terrified you have to get up and do something - literally anything to take your mind off it, to ease you back into reality. I put my phone down and stared into the darkness of my bedroom and told myself "it's just a fanfic, no need to get upset." And then I started to cry and I didn't stop for 30 minutes.

My husband was downstairs watching Bohemian Rhapsody and I went down there and wrapped myself around him so tight and cried. Bless this man, from the bottom of my heart - bless him - for his unfathomable kindness. I felt like a fucking fool because I was crying over fanfiction but he paused his movie and just listened while I tried to articulate how it wasn't exactly about the character death, or the characters at all, it was just the writing and how it wormed into my brain so convincingly. I felt the loss like it was my own loss. I am terrified of losing my husband. So many feelings coalesced and I realized one day I may be in that situation, kissing the man I love goodbye for the last time, never to hold him again. I'm at work right now and I'm tearing up because it's so hard.

I tip my hat to the author, but I genuinely wished I hadn't read that fanfic. And isn't it kind of funny after that grandstand I took yesterday about not wanting to write the pain of loss and grief, that I ended up reading it instead and probably fucking myself up just as badly, if not worse, than if I had tried to write it myself?

It gets worse, too. Because it got me thinking about my own writing, and how I could never hope to achieve what that author did. So I sat there crying out my painfeelings while simultaneously feeling like a shit writer and like nothing I put out matters. I got up from the couch, sat down at my PC and picked up where I left off in the Omega DLC in ME3 because video games are great for taking the mind off things. It didn't exactly help with the intensity I'd hoped for, but I managed to fall asleep, by 3am.

Fast forward to this morning. I dragged my sorry ass out of bed 4 hours later and drove to work. By some fucking miracle, no one is here right now except our field director. And I'm stewing in how this one fic really fucked me up bad, reconsidering everything. I feel like I've been put in my place.

So what changed?

Yesterday I posted about how I'm struggling to write a plotline. I know what happens, but I'm not interested in the little bits that tie it together. I want to write the romance. I think there's a way to write the plot and the romance at the same time, but it's damn hard.

I started doing this because I wanted to grow my skills as a writer, and I knew it might be more than I could chew. I'm at that moment now where I'm about ready to give up.

Even if I felt like a shit writer last night (and still kinda do this morning), I know that the stuff I've put out has value. We can't all write these epically tragic smut-romance-renegades-to-lovers tales, we'd all be sad all the damn time. There's a time and a place and - I would argue - even a need for lighterhearted fic out there. There are really no rules. I'm confident in what I know how to do.

But the plot. Fuck it, man. I think maybe I'm trying too hard to be something I'm not. I'm trying really hard to write like other people. I may have mentioned before that I saw a post about how many artists spend their time pining for the skills of others, thinking "wow, when I can draw like that, I'll have made it as an artist." That same post cautioned against this, basically saying you already have your own unique style, it's just harder to see through the lens of your own eyeballs. It's fine to challenge yourself but try to acknowledge what you do that sets you apart already. I feel like I have that something - maybe not to the extent that I wish, but I have something.

So what's the point of the plot? Why do I need to tell my readers how I cured Keprals? I'm asking myself important questions here. I like to think I've come up with ideas that no one else has, but as I said above, I don't read a lot of chaptered fics. I very well may have come to the same ideas as other writers and I'm not even aware of it. I don't know if my ideas are unique but I still arrived at them all by myself.

The challenge here - the thing I'm struggling so much with - is how to put them together with the same elegance of my fellow writers. I'm looking at you, shrios fam (yeah I'm calling you that, yall know who you are). I know I can write words, but it's like I have a bunch of pieces from completely different jigsaw puzzles and I'm struggling to make a new picture out of them. I struggle with the transitions between them.

The point here is I have to find my own way. And I have to stop taking myself so seriously. In fact this level of "seriousness" is one of the things that got me into so much angst over World of Warcraft over the last two years. At least I know how to recognize it.

I have to find my own way. I have my own things that are worth sharing. The author I read last night had a language all their own, and I have a language all my own too. Their wordplay was actually more choppy than I would ever write. I've talked before about how I'm scared of starting too many sentences with pronouns, how I maybe write too many run-on sentences, whatever. This author did that with reckless abandon. It worked for them. So if they can make that shit work, I can make my own shit work.

I have to find my own way.

My most current WIP is Thane and Shepard's first time. I've been working on it pretty nonchalantly because I hadn't intended to publish it until I built up to it. It takes place further into my timeline, and it would probably ruin the point of a slow burn if I put it out there now. There are some really memorably moments in this WIP, and there are other moments that need to be smoothed over as well. I never knew what I'd really imagined for their first time but I think I've mostly developed something that's unique in its own right, and I think will be fun for people to read.

I'm just so fucking torn over what to do with it. I feel guilty for working on it. I should be writing "other shit" leading up to it but I don't fucking want to. I actually wrote probably 2-3k words this weekend, which is a pretty staggering amount by my standards. Some of it was for this smutty WIP and some was for something I just threw together, Thane observing Shepard on Horizon and the emotional toll it takes on her. He's seeing her humanity. I don't know if it's worth it to continue but I wrote a lot of it and the words are more precise than usual for a draft, I don't know. I have so much fucking insecurity. Fuck dude. I want to write this longfic, but I don't want to write it. I want to skim to the spicy bits like I always do.

I am wracked with insecurity, of my own making. I know what I can do but I feel compelled to see this idea through. Somehow I have to find my own way.

TLDR I feel like if I don't publish something soon I'm going to burst and I don't even know what the fuck to work on first and fjslfjsojoiejrj

I would be really down for, like, a bunch of hugs and a bowl of ice cream shared over memes and fanservice.

#this post is EXTREMELY fucking long send help #ITT: i read something that probably changed my brain chemistry for a few hours and it's painful #zet vs 100days #i'm just glad to get this off my chest good lord #anyway if people want to send me links to their favorite shrios fluff i would welcome it

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rhosyn-du · 3 years ago

Text

Never make a mess when a total catastrophe will do - Chapter One

Pairings: Jimon, past Clace, background Clizzy, a bunch of other minor background pairings Rating: Explicit Art: @cor321 Beta: @all-thestories-aretrue Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, fake dating, oh my god they were roommates, friends with benefits, idiots to lovers, pining, miscommunication, holidays, drinking games, mistletoe, symbolically significant Oreos, domestic fluff, brief mention of past character death, Jace’s self-worth issues deserve their own tag Summary: What do you do when you find out your sister is not only dating your ex and love-of-your-high-school-life but is also bringing her home for Christmas? Bring your annoying, hot, annoyingly-hot roommate as your fake boyfriend to show them you're totally fine with it, obviously! There's no possible way this could backfire. Link: AO3, Tumblr Master Post

Chapter One

“Lightwood’s Mortuary, you stab ‘em, we slab ‘em. How may I direct your call?”

“You know,” Izzy said, “that joke would land a lot better if you hadn’t turned green last week when I mentioned getting to do my first cadaver dissection.”

“First of all,” Jace said, abandoning his laptop in favor of flopping back onto his bed, “it’s creepy that you say ‘getting to’ instead of ‘having to.’ And second of all, no one wants to hear about how much fun you had slicing up dead bodies over Thanksgiving dinner.”

“Max wanted to hear about it.”

“Max also can’t wait to get to middle school because he heard you get to use actual fire in science class,” Jace pointed out.

“Max is just into science like his big sister,” Izzy countered breezily. “Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about Christmas.”

“Please,” Jace said with far more enthusiasm than the situation probably warranted. “I’m desperate enough for any distraction that will take me away from trying to memorize third declensions that I would love to discuss whatever family holiday drama is so colossal I’m hearing it from you instead of Alec. Is Robert planning to show up uninvited to Christmas dinner with his girlfriend again? Oh! Did Mom finally snap and kill him? Is that why Alec isn’t calling? Is he helping her hide the body?”

“Oh my god,” Izzy laughed. “Dad and Annamarie are spending the holidays in Provance with her family, and there are no bodies to be hidden. This is what you get for taking Latin instead of Spanish like a sane person.”

“This coming from a woman who’s studying both,” Jace pointed out.

“Yeah, because a basic understanding of Latin and fluency in Spanish will both help me get into med school, and I need all the help I can get if I’m going to get into Grossman. Besides, I’d never imply anyone in this family is sane. If you studied more, you’d know that ‘Lightwood’ is just Latin for ‘totally fucking cracked.’”

“Please,” Jace snorted. “It’s not even a Latinate name. It’s Germanic. ‘Lightwood’ is Old English for ‘totally fucking cracked.’ Speaking of which, what’s the Christmas disaster?”

“It’s not a disaster exactly,” Izzy hedged, and Jace felt a sudden frisson of actual unease. Izzy normally had no problem speaking her mind. “It’s not a disaster at all, actually. It’s just. I invited someone.”

“Oh.” Jace relaxed. He didn’t know why Izzy was making such a big deal out of this. In the years since the divorce, Maryse had often encouraged her kids to invite any friends without a place to go to join them for holidays. Izzy’s own roommate had come for Thanksgiving last year. “That’s cool.”

“No,” Izzy said, like he was missing something obvious. “Jace, I invited someone. Someone I’m seeing. Seriously.”

“Oh,” Jace said again, this time with dawning comprehension. “That’s great, Iz. I’m happy for you. Wait, Mom’s not doing her overprotective, no-one-is-good-enough-for-my-children thing again, is she? Is that why you called, you need me to run interference?”

“No, no,” Izzy reassured him, although her voice still held an underlying tension. “Mom’s been great, actually. They knew each other already, so that probably helps.” Jace heard a shaky inhale before Izzy continued. “You, um. You know her, too, actually.”

“Oh yeah?” Jace said with forced ease, wracking his brain for any clue as to what could have Izzy so freaked out. Whatever it was, Jace wasn’t going to add to her stress. As far as he knew, Isabelle had never even been serious enough about someone before to even use the term girlfriend or boyfriend, let alone bring them home for Christmas. “Who’s the lucky lady?”

“It’s Clary,” Izzy said in a rush. “I’m dating Clary.”

The world seemed to tilt on its axis, and Jace was glad he was already lying down.

“Clary?” he repeated. “M—” He just barely stopped himself from saying “my Clary.” Because she wasn’t, not anymore. Not for a long time. “Morgenstern?” It was a clumsy recovery, but it was the best he could manage. “You’re dating Clary Morgenstern?”

Jace and Clary had met at the beginning of Jace’s junior year of high school. Clary, a year younger, had just lost her mom, and the two initially bonded over the shared experience of having lost parents. But Clary was fierce and bold and so full of passion even in the depths of her grief that Jace really couldn’t help falling in love with her. They’d dated for nearly two years—practically forever in high school terms—and even though they’d both known they were growing apart by the time Jace had to choose between his first-choice college in Boston and staying in New York to go to NYU, Clary would always hold a special place in Jace’s heart as his first love.

“Yeah,” Izzy said on a heavy exhale. “For a while now. That—that’s why I called. I didn’t want it to be weird, you know? For us all to just show up and for it to be a surprise. But I guess I probably shouldn’t have done it over the phone, either. I just didn’t think—”

“Izzy,” Jace said, much more calmly than he felt. “Breathe. It’s okay.”

“God, I should have told you sooner,” Izzy continued as though he hadn’t even spoken. “I just knew it probably would be weird for you, so I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure—”

“But you are now,” Jace interrupted again. It wasn't really a question. “Sure.”

“Yeah,” Izzy breathed. “I’m so sure.”

“Then it’s not weird,” Jace lied. “I mean, come on, my sister is dating someone who makes her happy and who I know will treat her right. What kind of idiot would I have to be to complain about that?”

“Really?” Izzy pressed. “Because I told Clary I wanted to talk to you before we finalized plans. So, if it is weird for you, or even if you just don’t want to be the only single person at the table on Christmas—”

“I won’t be,” Jace interrupted.

There was a pregnant pause, and then Izzy squealed so loud Jace had to pull the phone away from his ear.

“Oh my god, Jace! That’s amazing! Why didn’t you just say you were bringing someone, too, you jackass? Do you know how worried I’ve been about telling you about me and Clary?”

Which wasn’t what he’d meant at all—he’d only meant that Maryse was single, too—but Jace couldn’t resist the excitement in Izzy’s voice, not after her earlier panic.

“If I’d known you were all freaked out, I would have said something sooner,” Jace improvised. “It’s kind of new, and I haven’t even had the chance to tell Mom yet.”

“Let me,” Izzy insisted. “I’ve been trying to get her to admit that she and Luke are an item for ages, and maybe knowing that we’re all happily attached will be the push she needs.”

“Hold up. Mom…and Clary’s stepdad?” Jace was starting to wonder if this was some bizarre stress nightmare brought on by impending finals.

“Yup,” Izzy confirmed, popping the “p.” “They’re not even subtle about how much time they’re spending together, but Mom keeps talking about how they’re ‘just old friends.’” Jace could practically hear the eye roll.

“Anyway,” she continued, “if I leave now, I can catch Mom closing up the bookshop and maybe finally get her to crack. Don’t worry about Christmas plans. I’ll take care of everything. Talk to you later!”

“Iz, wait,” Jace started, but he was interrupted by the telltale beep of the call ending.

Jace stared at his phone, wondering how, exactly, he’d managed to make such a disaster of things. He couldn’t deal with this right now, he decided, tossing his phone aside. He just had to get through finals, and then he could come up with some excuse for why his nonexistent girlfriend couldn’t make it for Christmas. An excuse that wouldn’t make Izzy suspicious. Or Clary. Or Alec. Or— Fuck. Not thinking about it.

He turned his attention back to his laptop only to realize after several minutes of staring blankly that he wasn’t prepared to think about Latin anymore, either. Fuck it. He was going to spend the rest of the evening on the couch, drinking beer and watching stupid people doing stupid things on TV and thinking about absolutely nothing at all.

Because Jace just couldn’t catch a break, he found both the couch and TV already in use. He wanted to be annoyed, especially since he knew this was at least the dozenth time this semester his roommate had watched Return of the Jedi. Part of him was annoyed. But another part of him was…not annoyed. And that was yet another thing Jace wasn’t going to think about.

Jace’s first impression of Simon Lewis, when he’d walked into History and Literature of Music their freshman year, had been that he was kind of hot, in a nerdy way. His second impression, when he actually talked to Simon a few days later, was that the guy was annoying as hell. Over the course of the year, as they somehow ended up hanging out with the same group of friends, it became a tolerable sort of annoying. So tolerable, in fact, that when Jace found himself desperate for a roommate the next summer when Raj bailed on him last-minute, he’d agreed to let Simon have the second room in the surprisingly affordable apartment he’d found.

Jace’s third impression of Simon came four days after they’d moved in together, when he happened to be walking down the hallway at the exact moment Simon stepped out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist, a stray droplet of water trailing down his surprisingly well-defined abs. In that moment, Jace must have lost his mind, because he had the sudden, almost overwhelming urge to follow the path of that droplet with his tongue and, oh. Oh no. Jace had been wrong this entire time. Simon wasn’t just annoying. He wasn’t just nerd-hot. He was annoyingly hot.

And Jace was maybe just a little bit in trouble.

Because he’d seen the kinds of people Simon dated. Thoughtful. Driven. Well-adjusted. Unlike Jace in pretty much every way that mattered. Not that Jace dated, but he wasn’t the kind of person Simon hooked up with, either, he was pretty sure.

(Jace confessed his fourth impression of Simon to Maia several months later, after many, many shots of tequila. Maia laughed at him for a solid five minutes, but she also poured them another round and never mentioned it again after they sobered up because she was actually a pretty good friend despite how much she always seemed to enjoy Jace’s suffering.)

“What’s wrong?” Simon asked around a mouthful of instant ramen. Jace refused to acknowledge that the way his cheeks puffed out when he ate was cute.

“Just.” Jace shook his head. “Holidays. Family stuff.”

“Your sister planning to make Christmas dinner again?” Simon asked.

“Worse,” Jace said, flopping onto the other end of their stained Goodwill couch. “She’s dating my ex.”

Simon winced. “Ouch, dude.” Simon poked at his noodles with a pair of well-used disposable chopsticks. “You still have feelings for your ex?”

“What? No, of course not. It was ages ago, and we were practically still kids. And the breakup was mutual.” He made a face. “But Izzy’s bringing her home for Christmas.”

“Okay, yeah, that could be a little awkward,” Simon conceded.

“It gets worse,” Jace admitted. “When she told me, I kind of panicked and said I was bringing someone home, too.”

Simon frowned. “I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.”

“I’m not,” Jace told him. “Which is kind of the problem.”

“Wow. You really know how to make things difficult for yourself.”

“Thanks,” Jace said. “Very helpful.”

Simon shrugged, then said, as casual as if he were offering to toss Jace’s towels in with his to make a full load at the laundromat, “You could always take me home with you.”

Jace stared. “What?”

“I mean, I’m going to be in the city anyway,” Simon continued, “and it’s not like my family does Christmas. I think Mom and Becky can manage the traditional Chinese takeout and Fast and Furious marathon without me.”

“Your family watches The Fast and the Furious on Christmas?” It was the only part of that Jace was emotionally prepared to process.

“It used to be Die Hard, but Mom’s got a thing for Vin Diesel, so now we alternate years.”

Jace stared a moment longer, waiting for any of this to make sense. On the television, Boushh threatened Jabba with a thermal detonator.

“Right,” Jace said when it was clear the situation wasn’t going to make sense of itself. “Okay. Rewind to the part where I’m supposed to take you home with me for Christmas and, what, pretend you’re my boyfriend?”

He could picture it all too easily. Simon wielding his enthusiastic charm to keep Izzy out of the kitchen while Jace helped Maryse make dinner. Simon joining Alec in coaxing Jace toward the piano when it was time to sing carols. Simon flushed and smiling after a couple mugs of Magnus’s deceptively alcoholic eggnog. Simon’s hand in his because that’s just something boyfriends do.

It was a horrifyingly tempting prospect.

Jace pushed those thoughts away, crossing his arms over his chest and directing all the scorn he felt at himself into the stare he leveled at Simon. “What’s that supposed to accomplish other than giving me a headache?”

“Hey,” Simon said, setting the dregs of his ramen down on their secondhand Ikea coffee table, “I’ll have you know that I make an excellent boyfriend.”

That wasn’t exactly news. The fact that Simon was friends with basically all of his exes said as much. But Jace wasn’t about to let on that he paid that much attention to Simon’s dating habits. Or to pass up such a good opening. “That why you’re single?”

“Not the one currently desperate for a holiday date here, pal,” Simon pointed out.

“I don’t know, you seemed pretty eager to be my holiday date just a second ago,” Jace said, adding a wink just to be obnoxious.

“It was an offer, jackass. One which I now deeply regret.”

“Which you should,” Jace told him, turning to the TV and pretending to watch. “Now we can both forget this conversation ever happened, and I can go back to figuring out what I’m going to tell my family about why my nonexistent significant other can’t make it for Christmas this year.”

“Right,” Simon muttered, picking up his bowl and turning his own attention back to the movie.

Jace told himself he didn’t feel just the tiniest bit disappointed.

“The thing is,” Simon said several minutes later, as Boba Fett tumbled into the Sarlaac pit, “my cousin Rachel is getting married on Valentine’s Day. And my Bubbe Helen is still pretty cranky with me for breaking up with Maia.”

Jace frowned at him. “You and Maia dated for like a month and a half. Over a year ago.”

“Yeah, well,” Simon said, “Bubbe Helen really liked her, but I think maybe that’s because Maia’s the only person I’ve ever brought to a family function. So, I was thinking maybe if I brought someone else to Rachel’s wedding, she’d get the hint and drop the Maia thing. And then you suddenly needed someone to take home for Christmas, and I thought we could, you know, help each other out.”

It was a terrible idea, and Jace meant to say so. He really did. But what came out of his mouth instead was, “You want to introduce me to your grandmother?”

“I mean,” Simon said with a shrug, “she’d probably be happier if you were Jewish, but I honestly think she’d be happy to see me with anyone who’s not a total asshole. Ever since she found out Maia and I aren’t together anymore, she’s been acting like I’m going to end up a lonely old maid or something, which I totally don’t get, because A, I’m only twenty-one, and B, she doesn’t think it’s a problem that Becky’s single and Becky’s two years older than me.”

“Glad to know I meet the very minimal requirement of not being an asshole.”

“Not a total asshole,” Simon corrected with a teasing grin.

“You’re really making a compelling case for trying to convince our families that we’re a couple,” Jace said drily. But he was maybe just a little bit weak for Simon’s smile, so he added, “But you might as well tell me how exactly you think this would work. Theoretically.”

“Theoretically,” Simon repeated. “Right. Well, we’d need to come up with a game plan, obviously. And rules. Rules that we actually follow, because that’s where things like this always fall apart, when someone ignores the rules.”

“Where things always fall apart,” Jace repeated. “Is this something you do often?”

“What? No! I just mean like in movies and stuff. Fake dating is practically its own genre, so we have a ton of examples for how not to do it, and…” Simon frowned as his voice trailed off. “And now that I’m saying this out loud, I’m realizing how dumb it sounds. You’re right. We should forget this conversation ever happened.”

“Or,” Jace said slowly, knowing he was going to regret it but unable to stop himself, “we could spend some time coming up with a plan and then decide if we think it will work.”

“Wait, really?” The slow grin spreading across Simon’s face did nothing to ease Jace’s sense of impending doom, but it did fill him with a soft warmth that made the doom easier to ignore.

“Why not?” Jace shrugged with practiced nonchalance. “I’m done with classes at noon tomorrow if you want to do it then.”

“I’ve got a break from then till three if you don’t mind meeting near campus,” Simon said. “Say, Java Jones at twelve-thirty?”

“Sure,” Jace agreed to the background of Jabba’s sail barge exploding. He hoped that was less metaphorical than it felt.

~~~

“I thought we were planning a couple of fake dates, not staging a major military operation,” Jace said as he surveyed the notebooks and stacks of paper strewn across the rickety cafe table in front of Simon.

“Oh, sorry,” Simon said, hastily shoving exactly one of the many notebooks into his backpack. “I was just reviewing notes for my econ final while I waited.”

“Is all of this really necessary?” Jace asked, attempting to clear enough room on the table for his coffee and the banana muffin that was attempting to pass for lunch.

“It’s so necessary,” Simon told him, reaching over to steal a piece of Jace’s muffin. “I don’t want to end up like Melissa Joan Hart in My Fake Fiancé.” He popped the piece of muffin into his mouth. “Or Melissa Joan Hart in Drive Me Crazy. Oh! Or even worse, Melissa Joan Hart in Holiday in Handcuffs.”

“I have no idea what you just said.”

Simon sighed heavily. “I’m saying we need clear, well-defined rules if this is going to work.”

“Is rule number one ‘don’t be Melissa Joan Hart’?” Jace asked, snatching his muffin away when Simon reached for it again and taking a pointed bite.

“No,” Simon said, with far more seriousness than Jace thought the situation warranted. “That’s rule number two. Rule number one,” he continued, opening a blue notebook to a fresh page, “is ‘absolutely no sex.’”

Jace choked on his muffin.

“If there’s one thing everyone seems to agree with, it’s that things always break down when that rule gets broken,” Simon continued as though Jace weren’t struggling to breathe around a mouthful of muffin and why Simon thought they even needed a rule for that.

Jace washed the remaining crumbs of muffin down with a generous swig of coffee, then leaned back in his chair with a deliberately cocky grin. “I mean, I know I’m damn near irresistible, but do you really think you need a rule to keep from jumping me?”

“Rule three,’’ Simon said, scribbling furiously in the notebook, “treat each other with the same respect we’d treat people we’re actually dating.”

“Hey, I would have the same question for someone I was actually dating.”

Simon looked up from the notebook. “That explains so much about your dating history.”

Jace flipped him off, and Simon flashed him a shit-eating grin. “Nope, sorry, rule one. But,” he continued, serious once again, “we should have rules about what kind of physical affection we are comfortable with. Like, I know we don’t normally do hugs, but it would be weird if we never hugged in front of your family if we were dating, right? What about holding hands, is that too much? And what about kissing? I’m definitely cool with cheek kisses, but I don’t know—”

“Simon,” Jace interrupted before he could get too worked up. Or make Jace think about more things he really shouldn’t be thinking about. “You’re allowed to hug me. And hold my hand. Honestly, I’m sure I’d be fine with anything you’re comfortable doing in front of my family, so how about we just go with this: casual touches are fine and for anything else, I’ll follow your lead.”

The look Simon gave him was so searching that Jace almost worried for a second that Simon would be able to see right past his crossed arms and feigned nonchalance to the part of him that was less worried about showing physical affection than how much he wanted it, the part that avoided hugging Simon because he liked it.

“Okay,” Simon said finally. “But you have to promise you’ll tell me if anything I do bothers you even a little bit.”

“You mean like singing Shake It Off at the top of your lungs in the shower?” Jace asked.

“That was one time!” Simon protested. “I was up all night studying and under the influence of too many energy drinks. We agreed never to mention it again.”

“No, you told me never to mention it again and I laughed at you.”

“See, this is why we need rules. You’re already breaking number three.”

“Yeah, because we’re not pretend-dating yet,” Jace said. “That one might be a little rough, but I’m sure I can manage with some practice.”

There was that searching look again, but then Simon nodded like Jace had said something particularly insightful. “You’re right, we should practice.”

“We—what?”

“If we’re going to convince people who actually know us that we’re dating, then we should practice first,” Simon said, like it was the most reasonable thing in the world. “Not just the rules we know are going to be hard, but all of it, so we can work out any kinks in the plan before showtime.”

And maybe it was reasonable, but it was one thing to put on a show for his family, for Simon’s family, for a few days at a time in places that might be familiar to each of them individually, but that weren’t theirs. It was entirely another thing to do it here, in the cafe they went to at least twice a week, or on campus where they’d first met and had to keep on attending classes for at least another year, or even worse in the apartment they shared, around their friends—

“I really should have thought of it earlier,” Simon continued, blissfully unaware of Jace’s inner turmoil. “My best friend back home, she’s an amazing liar. Like, seriously, she got away with everything when we were kids. But any time she needed me to back up her story, she’d make me practice with her like a hundred times until she knew I could convince her mom and stepdad, even after I got good enough that I didn’t have to practice to convince Mom. Man, those two could sniff out the tiniest discrepancy in any story. Like, if normal parent bullshit detection is a one, my mom’s is probably a solid three, but Fray’s parents? Eleven, easy.”

“I’m pretty sure no one I’m related to has supernatural bullshit detection,” Jace told him. “And it’s common knowledge I’m a better liar than you are, so if you can fool your mom without practice, so can I.”

“Maybe,” Simon conceded. “But a little bit of practice couldn’t hurt, right?”

Jace was pretty sure that it could hurt, actually, but he was also pretty sure he was the only one in danger of getting hurt, so it probably wasn’t worth consideration. Especially weighed against the hopeful enthusiasm in Simon’s expression.

“What did you have in mind?”

“We could start by pretending we’re on a date right now,” Simon suggested. “We’re already sharing a muffin. So, just treat me like you’d treat anyone you were on a date with.”

“My dates don’t usually involve this many notebooks,” Jace told him. “And if my date stole my muffin, the date would be over.”

“Come on, you’re not even trying,” Simon said, gathering up the papers and notebooks. “You’d really ditch your date over a muffin?”

“Absolutely,” Jace insisted. “They’d have to be seriously good in bed to make up for it, and I’m pretty sure rule number one says you’ll never get muffin-stealing privileges.”

“If the biggest benefit to sleeping with you is getting to share your muffins, then I’m not the one missing out,” Simon told him.

“You selling your body for muffins now, Lightwood?” an amused voice interrupted. “I bet I know a few people who’d toss a bran muffin or two your way for a chance at that ass.”

“Which is why you’re not my pastry-pimp, Roberts,” Jace said, smirking at Maia as she helped herself to one of the table’s empty chairs. “I only trade this ass for top tier, gourmet muffins. If your muffins don’t have at least two Michelin stars, I’m not interested.”

“I give him a week until he’s working corners for Entenmann’s,” Simon told her. “He was just threatening to walk out on our date over a bite of mediocre banana nut.”

Maia’s eyes widened. “Your— Oh, shit, sorry,” she said, scrambling out of her chair and throwing them both an apologetic smile that Jace was pretty sure wouldn’t be directed at him if he were sitting with anyone other than Simon. “I swear I didn’t mean to interrupt, I just thought you were studying or something. You guys have fun, and I’ll just—”

“It’s a practice date,” Jace interrupted, “not an actual date. And Simon’s a dirty muffin thief who won’t even put out, so I’m not sure it really even qualifies as any kind of date.”

Maia looked between the two of them, then slowly lowered herself back into the chair. “I know I’m going to regret asking this, but what exactly is a ‘practice date,’ and why are the two of you on one?”

“Jace needs a fake boyfriend to take home for Christmas, and I need a fake date for Rachel’s wedding,” Simon explained, snatching the last bit of Jace’s muffin without remorse. “And we thought we should practice dating before trying to convince our families that were actually, you know, together.”

“That’s a terrible idea, and I regret any part I played in the two of you becoming friends,” Maia said flatly.

“Yeah, that would probably worry me more if you didn’t say that like twice a week,” Simon told her.

“Oh god, Simon, what did you let Jace talk you into now?” another voice asked, and suddenly there were three more people crowding around their tiny table, because apparently all of their friends were at Java Jones today. Which, in retrospect, Jace should have expected, given how often they all hung out there.

“It was actually my idea,” Simon told Maureen, sliding his chair closer to Jace’s to make room for her, Bat, and Lily. “Jace is taking me home to meet his family over the holidays, and I’m taking him as my date to my cousin’s wedding.”

This proclamation was met with a stunned silence that was broken when Lily turned to Jace and punched him in the arm.

“Ow! What the hell?”

“That’s for abandoning me, jerk,” Lily told him. “Not that I can really blame you—either of you,” she added, giving both Jace and Simon an appreciative once over, “‘cause damn—but I thought we had an understanding.” She sighed heavily. “Now that you’ve gone over the dating Dark Side, who’s going to be my wingman? You’re probably going to start doing all kinds of relationship-y things and talking about feelings—” she said it like it was a dirty word “—and crap like that.”

“I am not going to talk about my feelings,” Jace said, at the same time that Simon said, “We’re not actually together. We’re just pretending.”

“They’re planning to try to convince their families they’re dating even though they’re not,” Maia explained. “Because they apparently think that’s not just a disaster waiting to happen.”

“Oh,” Lily said, sounding oddly disappointed.

“Fifty bucks,” Bat announced, “says that when this blows up in their faces, Jace is the first one to break down and call Maia in a panic.”

“Hey,” Jace protested.

“Oh, you’re on,” Maureen said, ignoring Jace entirely. “Sorry, Simon, but no one panics quite like you.”

“I’m in,” Lily said, “and I agree with Maureen that Simon will break first, but his call to Maia will be interrupted by Jace calling five minutes later.”

“Why am I the one getting all of the panicked calls?” Maia wanted to know.

“Because you’re the only person at this table who isn’t an asshole,” Simon told her, “but nothing’s going to go wrong, let alone panic-inducing levels of wrong, so you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“Dude,” Jace said, “she’s an asshole to me.”

“You like it,” Maia and Simon said in unison, causing the rest of the table to collapse into laughter.

“Okay, fine,” Maia said around her giggles several minutes later, “if you’re all betting, then count me in, too. I bet that these fools,” she looked pointedly at Jace, then at Simon, “don’t call me when this whole thing goes to hell, but I somehow end up having to haul their asses out of trouble, anyway.”

“I rescind my assessment of you as not an asshole,” Simon told her.

“I’d think twice about calling the woman who’s going to haul your ass out of trouble an asshole if I were you,” Bat said.

“Back to this pretending to be together thing,” Lily said. “What exactly does that entail?”

“That’s actually what we were trying to figure out when you guys showed up,” Simon told her. “We started a list of rules, but we only made it to four so far.”

“Your list should definitely include making out,” Lily said decisively. “Having made out with both of you, I can say with confidence that you’re definitely missing out if you don’t. In fact, you should try it now so we can let you know if it looks authentic.”

“You just want to watch them make out,” Maureen said.

“Yes,” Lily told her. She didn’t add ‘duh,’ but it was implied. “I always want to make hot people make out. But in this case, I’m also being helpful.”

The ensuing argument over the line between helpful and self-serving was thankfully cut short by the opening guitar line of Blonde Redhead’s Barragan.

“Sorry, I’ve gotta take this,” Simon said, holding up his phone. “I’ve been playing voicemail tag with Becky all week.” He looked at Jace. “Talk more about this later?”

“Sure,” Jace told him.

“Tell your sister I said hi,” Maia called after Simon as he headed away from the cafe’s crowd.

“You know,” Jace told her in a low voice, “you could always tell her hi yourself instead of always asking Simon to pass messages.”

Maia gave him an unimpressed look. “After everything I just heard, I’m pretty sure you’re the last person in this room I should be taking relationship advice from.”

“Bite me,” Jace told her, but he didn’t disagree.

#shadowhunters #shmb2021 #jimon #jimon fic #jace wayland #simon lewis

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the28thofseptemberr · 4 years ago

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over the past couple of days i’ve seen some more theories concerning the h+o stunt, so i thought i would compile some of the information people have found and add some more detail, as well some of my own thoughts!

olivia + stunts

@/purplehazelwt on twitter found that olivia has a history doing pr stunts, especially where she is romantically linked to someone she’s doing a movie with.

exhibit a: olivia and her first husband announced their separation in early february 2011. on march 1st, 2011, she and ryan gosling were filmed on a “secret date” and numerous articles came out about them being a couple (link to some of these articles: here and here). they weren’t co-stars or working together on a movie, but ryan had an upcoming film called “crazy, stupid, love” that was released later in july 2011. olivia was also going to be in another upcoming film - more details in the next example.

exhibit b: olivia was in a movie called “in time” that was released in october 2011. justin timberlake was the male lead in the movie, and in april 2011 several articles came out about justin and olivia getting cozy in a nightclub, and of course speculation that they were a couple (link to some of these articles: here and here).

exhibit c: in june 2011, it was announced that olivia would be joining the cast of a movie called “the words”, in which bradley cooper is the male lead. in may 2011 (the month before), they were seen getting close and quite a few articles were released about them possibly being in a relationship (link to one of these articles: here).

olivia began dating her ex-fiancé, jason sudeikis, in november 2011, so she didn’t really get romantically linked to anyone for years, up until now. however, from the above examples, it shows that olivia has a history of doing pr stunts for projects she’s involved in, and that’s likely what’s happening right now with harry.

did olivia + jason really break up?

@/whosheisss on twitter raised the theory that olivia and jason sudeikis (her ex-fiancé) didn’t break up. a quick history of their relationship: as i said before, they began dating in november 2011, then they got engaged in january 2013. they have two children together, and in november 2020 they announced that they had broken up earlier that year. here’s why their break up might not have been real:

olivia and jason’s split was announced in a people exclusive article (link: here) on november 13, 2020, where a source close to them told people magazine that olivia and jason had split earlier in 2020, but they were on good terms and were co-parenting well.

the source said they split in early 2020, so maybe around january to march. but in august, jason did an interview with access hollywood and said this (link: here):

and in august he also did an interview with et where he said olivia helped inspire his new show (link: here):

on september 9 and 16, jason and olivia were papped at a beach in malibu, where they were laughing, hugging, playing and looking like they were having a lot of fun (link to september 9 pictures: here)

in october, jason went on the drew barrymore show (link: here) and said this:

on november 16, olivia and jason were seen embracing and getting pretty close, 3 days after their split was announced. in the pictures, she was also still wearing her engagement ring (link to article: here):

on december 20, olivia and jason were seen sharing a “long and loving embrace” (as just jared puts it). olivia was also holding jason’s face into her hands and “staring deep into jason’s eyes” (again, just jared’s words and not mine) and essentially looking like they were still very close (link to article & more pictures: here):

and of course, olivia was seen still wearing her engagement ring in the recent pap pics with harry:

olivia was also seen going to jason’s house on january 4th (link: here).

obviously, pictures of olivia and jason meeting up and hugging don’t necessarily mean they’re still together, as the breakup article stated they were still on good terms. however, the way jason was talking about olivia in interviews and the fact that olivia still wears her engagement ring suggests they might not have broken up at all and their breakup is a publicity stunt.

recently, there have been articles about jason being heartbroken about harry and olivia and him being willing to repair things with olivia (link: here). and of course there was this anon:

it does seem very plausible that olivia and jason never broke up, but they announced that they did and coordinated this stunt with harry. if jason is going to start “fighting for the love of his life and his family” and he and olivia get back together, it would bring a lot of publicity to all parties involved (jason, olivia and harry), so it would be a win-win situation for everyone - theoretically, anyway.

the timing

as mentioned before, olivia and jason’s split was announced in november 2020, even though they had apparently split in early 2020 and were still acting like a couple before and after the announcement. the pap pics of harry and olivia are theorized to have been taken in november, as the wedding venue and the restaurants in santa barbara where they were seen have been closed for a while because of the pandemic. so, if the pap pictures were taken in november then released in january, and olivia and jason’s split was announced in november as well, it definitely looks like this is a planned publicity stunt and olivia and jason might not have broken up at all.

why they want publicity

so if all of this is an elaborate stunt to get harry, jason and olivia publicity, what is it for? olivia and harry have dwd of course, and since olivia is directing and acting in it, plus it’s got well-known celebrities like harry, florence pugh, chris pine, etc. in the cast, it makes sense her team would want to hype up this movie. besides just promoting dwd, harry is also nominated for 3 grammys this year. the ceremony was originally scheduled for january 31st but was pushed to march 14th recently. but since this stunt was likely thought of in november 2020, they wouldn’t have known that and assumed the ceremony would be in january. as for jason, he co-writes and stars in an apple tv+ show called “ted lasso”. the first season was released in august 2020 and apparently the production of the second season could be starting this month, so he’d want to promote his show too, especially since he’s the star.

this could also help distract people from the babygate situation, a theory that @/ONLYGOLDENN on twitter raised. basically, recently louis flew to la and people are speculating it might be because of briana’s court case, which supposedly will be happening on january 20th. people have also been theorizing that louis may get involved in the case and take a paternity test and babygate could be ending - in any case, things may be happening soon and this stunt with harry and olivia might be trying to distract people.

conclusion

sorry for another unnecessarily long post, but essentially this is the possible reason for the stunt and the direction the stunt could be going in (jason and olivia getting back together). credit to @/purplehazelwt, @/ONLYGOLDENN and @/whosheisss on twitter for finding some of this information!!

#harry #harry styles #olivia #olivia wilde #jason sudeikis #larry stylinson #larry #louis and harry #don't worry darling #long posts

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love-bokumono-fics · 3 years ago

Text

WIP Wednesday

With no game feature this week, let's look at some of the recent WIPs that haven't gotten a chance to be featured yet on the blog. These are the works that haven't been updated since I started the blog, so they haven't been included in the weekly Fresh Crops, or haven't been included in other feature posts yet.

Here's hoping you find a great new story to keep up with and await updates with bated breath!

(Have a WIP fic of your own that you'd like featured? Drop a link in the submission box! We'd love to see them!)

Edmond Route - by Mysterious_Prologue_Guy; WIP, 37/?, 54k

Rating: Mature; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Light of Hope, Skytree Village

Relationship: Edmond/Light the farmer; Characters: Edmond, Farmer, Gareth, Tabitha, Harvest Goddess

Additional Tags: Harvest Moon a Light of Hope, Harvest Moon, Harvest moon Skytree Village

Summary: Contains spoilers. Meeting of Edmond and heart events.

Barriers - by krose13; WIP, 21/?, 148k

Rating: Mature; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town, Harvest Moon DS Cute

Relationships: Claire the Farmer/Gray, Ann the Innkeeper | Ran/Cliff; Characters: Claire, Gray, Ann the Innkeeper | Ran, Cliff, Kai, Karen, Popuri, Mary the Librarian, Rick, Basically the whole Mineral Town cast, plus Forget-Me-Not Valley

Additional Tags: Drama & Romance, Complicated Relationships, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Not for the kiddos, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, Unplanned Pregnancy, trying to fit a realistic pregnancy in hm time is a challenge but we doin it, POV First Person, Mutual Pining, Drug Use, Dreams and Nightmares, Drowning, I’ll probably have to add more tags as we go along but

Summary: Unlike everyone else in town, Gray wants nothing to do with the new farmer. He can't stand Claire, despite all her attempts to befriend him. But when one small mistake leads to an even bigger problem, he might be seeing a lot more of her than they both had planned.

Watered-Down Ideals - by LemWrites; WIP, 4/?, 4k

Rating: Not Rated; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Categories: M/M, Multi

Fandoms: Trio of Towns

Relationships: Farmer/Ludus; Characters: Original Male Character, Frank, Megan, Hector, Colin, Noel | Noelle

Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow Burn, Fluff, Self Confidence Issues, ADHD, I gave a farmer adhd and anxiety, this may have more projection then intended

Summary: Join Steve, the newly appointed farmer in the Trio of Towns world, on a journey full of; useless gay pinning, being a disaster, self hatred and more!

The Language of Flowers - by spoopybat; WIP, 68/?, 158k

Rating: Explicit; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandoms: The Tale of Two Towns

Additional Tags: Tags Contain Spoilers, POV Alternating, Background Relationships, Starting Over, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Minor Character Death, Background Character Death, Minor Violence, Minor Injuries, Physical Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Socially Awkward Characters, Cliche, Mutual Pining, Awkwardness, Awkward Flirting, Emotional Baggage, References to Depression, Dorks in Love, Dysfunctional Family, Melodrama, Family Drama, First Love, First Relationship, Sharing a Bed, Making Out, Loss of Virginity, First Time, Morning After, Morning Cuddles, Christmas, Domestic Fluff, Unplanned Pregnancy, Pregnancy, Morning Sickness, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Constipation, Arguing, Medical Conditions, Medical inaccuracies but I'm gonna do my best, Panic Attacks, Engagement, Wedding Planning, Wedding Fluff, Weddings, Honeymoon, Body Worship, Making Love, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Mental Anguish, Spa Treatments, Fights, Making Up, Mental Health Issues, Depression, Language of Flowers, Emotional reunion [Some tags removed to keep post sfw]

Summary: Lillian, a young woman from the Sunshine Islands, left her home and moved to Bluebell. In hopes that moving to this rural farm town to escape her troubled past and find the happy life she had always wanted.

Finding You - by HarukazeRen; WIP, 4/?, 3k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Harvest Moon 64

Relationship: Karen/Pete | Jack; Characters: Karen, Pete | Jack

Additional Tags: Harvest Moon 64, Tsundere Karen, Flashbacks, Slow Romance, Handsome Pete, Karen's hearts event, Some of Gray/Popuri and Ann/Cliff

Summary: Whenever he meets her, some memories of his childhood flash in his mind. A little girl who was playing with him and made his heart skipped a beat. He tries to trace the shadow of her because he wants to make sure, why does he keep thinking of her.

Earth and Rebirth - by TheBeckster; WIP, 17/?, 66k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Categories: Multi, Gen

Fandoms: Trio of Towns

Characters: Holly, Frank, Marlena, Wayne, Ford, Lisette, Brad, Carrie, everyone

Additional Tags: Undecided Relationship(s), Additional Tags to Be Added, lots of headcanons, Minor Character Death, Eventual Friends to Lovers, I'm not going to tag every single character, but they will all have a part in the story, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, New friends and found family, world building, Angst with a Happy Ending, Holly is an extrovert, endgame ship tbd, Cover Art

Summary: Holly considered herself fortunate to be living about as close to the dream as any young twenty-something could. A great family, a loving husband, and well, she'd admit their apartment was awful, but they'd be moving onto bigger and better things soon enough. She truthfully couldn't wish for more. But when an accident rips it all away from her, Holly finds herself seeking a change of scenery. Her Uncle's farm out in the middle of nowhere is the perfect place for her to hide to mourn. A familiar story with a twist or two.

Fire and Dew - by Juliko; WIP, 9/26, 73k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Trio of Towns

Relationship: Yuzuki/Original Character; Characters: Original Female Character(s) of Color, Original Characters, Yuzuki, Sumomo, Lisette, Colin, Wayne, Brad, Carrie, Shizu, Yaichi, Tatsumi, Omiyo, Umekichi, Lynn, Marlena, Daryl | Darius, Ittetsu, Moriya

Additional Tags: Harvest Moon, story of seasons, farming, Slice of Life, Drama, Family Drama, Family Issues, Autism, Autism Spectrum, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Original Character(s), Major Original Character(s), Female Character of Color, Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Friendship/Love, Past Child Abuse, Child Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Romance, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Humor, Eventual Happy Ending, Comedy, Friends to Lovers, Adoption, Sick Character, Lulukoko characters won't appear in this fic, Falling In Love, Dorks, Ableism, Happy Ending, Romantic Fluff, Break Up, Past Relationship, Cows, Chickens, Sheep, Rabbits, Flowers, Stimming, Family Fluff, Bisexual Female Character, Pansexual Character, Lesbian Character, Children, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma

Summary: For as long as she could remember, Harper Leigh Maxwell's dream has always been to become a farmer, but her father's job makes it hard to do so, since it involves lots of moving. After graduating from college, she finally decides to take a chance and get her own farm. She's determined to make the most of this opportunity and do what she's wanted. In the process, she makes new friends, learns many new things, and faces many hardships. One of the friends she makes is Yuzuki Fujiwara, a mellow, sweet natured man from the town of Tsuyukusa who doesn't have the best constitution. The two of them form a strong connection that may even end up blossoming into love. But Harper's past might make things complicated, and when it threatens to catch up with her, she may find herself facing the demons from her pre-adoption early childhood. This is the story of two different people, with different interests, passions, and paths in life, walking the same dirt road every day...

Finding the Way Forward - by AccidentallyTheWholeFanfic; WIP, 5/?, 35k

Rating: Mature; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Categories: F/M, M/M, Multi

Fandoms: Story of Seasons (2014)

Relationship: Johnny/Fritz; Characters: Johnny, Fritz, Elise, Oak Tree Town, OCs

Additional Tags: Romance, Drama, Slice of Life, Friendship, Family, Heavy Subject Matter, Humor, If Reina Pops Up Here I Will Refuse to Refer to Her as Licorice

Summary: Three youths move to Oak Tree Town on the verge of adulthood - each one an outsider in their own way, setting out on their own paths in life under their own circumstances. When those paths begin to cross over and influence each other, they all find that they might have some growing up to do if they want to find their way forward in life. Slash, M later. Heavy themes present.

Bring On The Wonder - by UrzaHemlock; WIP, 1/?, 2k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Animal Parade, Tree of Tranquility

Relationships: Molly | Hikari/Toby | Tao, Candace | Kotomi/Luke the Carpenter; Characters: Toby | Tao, Luke the Carpenter, Candace, Harvest Goddess, Finn, Molly/Hikari is Corina

Additional Tags: Rating May Change, Slow Burn, Original Character(s), Family Issues, Plot of the game but with fleshed out magic and trials, Mostly Animal Parade but with some elements from Tree of Tranquility mixed in, more tags to come, Possible change to Mature down the road

Summary: When Corina agreed to help Finn the harvest sprite save the Goddess Tree, it seemed the perfect chance to start over. After all, how hard could ringing some bells be? But magic isn't that simple, and Corina quickly discovers that there is more to being a savior. She'll have to throw all of herself into saving Castanet, body, mind, and even soul. She'll have to endure physical trials and emotional turmoil and even confront the things she wants to run from... ...but with the help of some new friends and a rather sleepy fisherman, she might just pull through.

Trial & Error - by KuramaBabe; WIP, 3/?, 3k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/F

Fandoms: Back To Nature, Save the Homeland, Magical Melody

Relationships: Gwen/Original Female Character, Gray & Original Female Character, Popuri & Original Female Character, Karen & Original Female Character, Cliff & Original Female Character, Ray & Original Female Character; Characters: Karen, Gray, Cliff, Popuri, Saibara, Harvest Goddess, Harvest Goddess Mariel, Gwen, Joe, Ray, Mary the Librarian, Original Female Character(s), Dog, Original Child Character(s), Original Male Character(s)

Additional Tags: Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sexuality, High School, Graduation, Party, Family Issues, Dysfunctional Family, Family Drama, Families of Choice, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Name Changes, Dead name, Makeover, Hair, Injury, Slow To Update, Strangers to Lovers, Starting Over, Road Trips, a capella, Fishing, failure - Freeform, Homophobia, Lesbian Character, My First Work in This Fandom, Coming Out, Cynophobia, Minor Karen/Rick, Minor Gray/Mary | Marie, Abuse

Summary: Maribelle has known for a long time she's different. But when she finally comes to accept it, her home life turns into something ugly. With the help of a friend, she changes her identity and moves to Sugar Valley. However, she has no idea she's moving into a construction zone and most of the inhabitants have already left...

#wip wednesday #harvest moon #story of seasons #light of hope #skytree village #friends of mineral town #trio of towns #hm ds cute #tale of two towns #hm 64 #back to nature #save the homeland #magical melody #animal parade #tree of tranquility

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shijiujun · 4 years ago

Note

Stebee, sorry for the bother, but were you the one that made that post on how to navigate Taobao a few weeks ago? I really want to get that CQL make up set but have no idea how to use the website. Please help me, obi wan kenobi, you’re my only hope.

heya! i don’t think i ever made a full post on how to buy from taobao on tumblr!

but firstly, just to briefly go through it, there are two ways:

*mandatory step for either way: create an account on taobao, might be easier to navigate on desktop and translate the whole page, you can register an account and as an international buyer, just select your phone country code/follow instructions - this is because whether you shop directly or indirectly, taobao will only show you more than one page when you are surfing for products after you login, otherwise you’ll be prompted to log in anyway - think you don’t need an account on the mobile app but for convenience sake you might as well

1. Buy Direct from Taobao

add your address in the profile section - you should do this because some items don’t ship out of china etc., and when you browse, it’ll automatically tell you if an item doesn’t ship to your area so you don’t waste time

you’ll definitely need to be on desktop and translate everything when you search for items

add item to cart

go to your cart page, select all items, and then checkout

at the checkout page, there should be three shipping options - direct to customer (not recommended unless small items), consolidated sea shipping via warehouse, consolidated air shipping via warehouse - what happens is that let’s say you buy from five sellers, they’ll all ship to a designated warehouse, and then you have to pay for shipping again there after warehouse logs in your five shipments, bundles them together, and tells you how much it is based on weight/parcel package, there’s some calculation for this - so i usually pick sea shipping if i’m not urgently waiting for the products (can take about 3-4 weeks) because every 1kg additional tier is cheaper, as compared to air. i only use air when it’s a really small package (within 10 days) + i want the item quick

so firstly, after you select shipping method - you pay for the base cost of the goods first. here’s the tricky part - taobao’s main app/desktop site uses alipay to process transactions. technically, it SHOULD allow international credit cards because there are options for overseas banks as compared to a few years before where you could only add china bank cards to alipay, but what happened with me was that my credit cards all could not pass i.e. alipay refused to log on my credit card, this happened to my friend too

in this case, what you do is head to tmall.com - this is the slightly more international version of taobao, but is owned by taobao, their backend for the store is connected to main taobao. some of the items on taobao may not be searchable on tmall, but if you do find what u want, that’s great, if you don’t, just anyhow pick ONE item to checkout on tmall, and follow the same steps above as to checkout and shipping, only when you try to enter your credit card, the alipay system on tmall is CONFIRMED international, you’ll definitely be able to link your card there. once you checkout and alipay logs your card on there, you can go back to taobao and checkout again. because the backend is linked, you’ll be able to use your card on taobao now without any issues - this is sort of a personal hack lolol

you’ll have to check your notifications - because it’ll prompt you to pay for shipping once the warehouse has registered your shipments (take about 3-5 business days from when you pay for your item, sometimes can be longer) - and that’s where you make the second shipping payment. once that’s done, just sit back and relax and pine over your package to turn up

2. Buy Via Proxies/Forwarders

There are a lot of forwarders in each country, you may have to search for one if you’re not in any of the below countries:

US - superbuy.com

UK - bhiner.com

SEA - ezbuy.sg or Lazada

How it works is you enter the original product link from Taobao into the search bars of the websites above, and they’ll tell you how much to pay etc. I’m not familiar with most of them except ezbuy.sg - the concept is the same, i.e. you pay for base cost of product and then they’ll inform you to pay for shipping in a second transaction a week or so later - the only difference is you may have to pay agent forwarding fees etc. It works for any product on Taobao, in a sense, you’re paying the agents to purchase the item and ship it for you.

---

Hope this helps!!!!

#asks #taobao #taobao help desk

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addictedtostorytelling · 4 years ago

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Hello! I have a question, and if you've answered before please feel free to just link me to the answer instead of typing up a whole new thing.

Do you think it was OOC for Grissom to disappear on Sara like that, to do god knows what on the other side of the world? Or does it actually make sense from an in-universe point of view?

After leaving the lab I'm sure he could have found plenty of things to do in Vegas. And given that they've been pining after each other for 10 years, and that Gil is well aware of Sara's abandonment issues, it makes no sense to me that he'd hurt both of them like that. And don't get me started on the whole divorce thing :(

Am I wrong in thinking it was just lazy writing/creating drama just to have a big reunion in the finale?

Btw I love your blog and thank you in advance!!

hey, @stokes-theorem!

thank you for your kind words! i’m so glad you enjoy my blog.

i do have a couple of old metas that are adjacent to this topic:

this one goes over the in-universe reasons why grissom requests a divorce from sara (and why sara acquiesces to his request), despite them never falling out of love with each other.

this one enumerates the reasons why the divorce storyline is bullshit from an out-of-universe writing perspective.

and this one is probably closest to what you’re looking for; it discusses grissom’s characterization in the finale and whether or not his actions represent a regression on his part.

however, since none of these old posts addresses your question directly, here’s some elaboration:

the short answers to your questions are (somewhat out of order from how you asked them):

no, the divorce doesn’t actually make sense from an in-universe perspective. it was 100% the product of poor writing choices. that said, we can at least somewhat rationalize it from a characterization perspective if we have to (which i guess we have no choice but to do, since it is canon);

if we accept that the divorce is actually a thing that happened (which, again, i guess we have to), then, yes, i think that grissom disappearing on sara actually is in-character for him, given both his basic behavior patterns and his motivations for splitting from sara in the first place. while his choice to all-but-ghost her is ultimately the wrong one, and particularly considering her history of abandonment and fear of rejection, his intentions are in point of fact good. he’s just incredibly misguided, is all;

finally, while i do think the whole divorce storyline in itself is based in lazy writing and a desire to stir up drama for the sake of stirring up drama, i don’t actually think that the writers generated the storyline with any sort of end goal in mind, including an eventual gsr reconciliation. back in s13, they had no idea that the finale/reunion would ever be a thing. they had no contingency plan to get grissom and sara back together after splitting them up. there was no “bigger picture” in mind. they were writing in the dark, and they lucked out that everything turned out okay in the end.

much longer answers after the “keep reading,” if you’re interested.

heads up: this post is highly critical of and very salty about the later seasons of csi. if you enjoy those seasons, you may want to sit this one out.

_________

the whole divorce storyline is (as you allude to) bullshit.

wait, scratch that.

the whole gsr storyline after their jungle reunion in episode 09x10 “one to go” is bullshit.

to be fair to the writers, when they first came up with the idea to have grissom remain in europe while sara returned to vegas, they thought they were writing a mini-arc that would only last for a handful of episodes.

but to be critical of the writers where criticism is due, the second they realized that jorja fox would be permanently returning to the show, they needed to change tactics—and fast.

the first big mistake that they made was in never addressing sara’s decision to remain in vegas more permanently—not even to add in a throwaway line like, “well, since the research grant grissom and i had applied for got denied, i figure i may as well stick around here.”

something that should have been a topic of discussion in-universe on the show—given the magnitude of the decision itself—was completely glossed over. one minute, sara is in vegas temporarily with the intention to return to her husband sooner rather than later and the next she’s in vegas permanently with no kind of plan in place for when she’ll ever live with her husband again, and no one ever really says anything about the change one way or another.

that’s a big boo-boo.

however, significant as it is, that mistake pales in comparison to their big mistake to end all big mistakes, which was to not then immediately move grissom back to vegas with sara once they knew that jorja was staying on the show.

i mean, obviously, billy petersen was off of the show at the time and had no real intentions to return, so i’m not saying that they should have moved grissom back to vegas with any sort of expectation that he would have appeared on screen.

rather, what i’m talking about is implied depth—adding in references to him being in vegas in dialogue and incorporating set details that would make him a kind of long-term “absent presence” on the show even if we were never shown his face again, etc.

whereas in s8, sara leaves vegas because the city and desert itself are triggering to her following her ordeal with the miniature killer, when grissom leaves vegas in s9, he doesn’t do so for any kind of geographic reasons; he’s burnt out on his job and lonely for his true love, not running away from sin city for its own sake.

that so, there would be no real reason why he might be averse to returning as long as he had sara by his side.

as you mention, there are all sorts of things they could have had grissom do in vegas that wouldn’t have necessitated him being on-screen and/or at the lab—he could have picked up a teaching position at unlv or wlvu; he could have taken a position at the body farm; he could have written a book; he could have retired and adopted some weird and wonderful grissom hobby; etc.

(i think @butterflied4life once floated the idea of grissom becoming a cowboy and owning some horses, and i’m kind of in love with that image.)

honestly, the possibilities are only limited by one’s imagination.

literally, there are no shortage of things that a renaissance man like grissom could do in las vegas, nevada, none of which would have to involve him working at the same crime lab as his wife.

all that the writers would have had to do would be to pick something and run with it.

at the start of s11, nick could have asked sara how house-hunting was going for her and “the boss man,” and she could have quipped, “you know, he isn’t really your ‘boss man’ anymore,” and then mentioned something about finding mortgages daunting.

later on, catherine could have quizzed her on how grissom was enjoying retirement, and she could have corrected, frowning, because, god, catherine makes it sound like she’s married to an old man, “he’s not retired. he’s just between projects! he’s got a lecture series at unlv next week on the life cycle of the common blowfly. you should come!”

a few episodes later, greg could have said something like, “hey! i saw grissom dropping you off tonight. why didn’t he stop inside to say hello?” and sara could have (affectionately) rolled her eyes while explaining that he didn’t want to “be a distraction to the team.”

as the seasons wore on, exchanges such as these ones could have become commonplace, and we also could have occasionally heard sara talking on the phone to someone who was clearly grissom (even without ever hearing his voice on the other end of the line), discussing little domesticities, like who’s going to pick up groceries or his mother coming to visit them for the weekend.

maybe once or twice we could have even seen the inside of their house when the storyline called for it, with pictures of them and props suggesting grissom’s presence, like his glasses on the coffee table or a stack of entomology textbooks on the counter.

of course, i’m sure fans would have clamored for some kind of on-screen grissom appearance, and maybe if they clamored loudly enough, they could have persuaded billy to come back for a guest spot, a la episode 11x13 “the two mrs. grissoms,” but even if not, at least they could have rested assured that grissom and sara were still married and living their happily-ever-after together.

seriously: all it would have taken were a few throwaway lines and cleverly placed set pieces here and there, not even necessarily one in every episode—just one every few episodes! just something every once in a while!—to remind us that sara still had a husband.

but for some reason, the exercise of implying depth was beyond them.

by the time s12, rolled around, it was as if they thought that even so much as invoking grissom’s name would somehow pull focus from ted danson.

of course, by this point, the show was also struggling in other ways, narratively speaking, so perhaps it’s unsurprising that rather than find any creative mechanisms to allow sara to keep her happy ending, they decided to go for the cheap, sweeps-week drama and break up her and grissom’s marriage come mid-s13.

i’ll direct you to the first post linked at the start of this response to explain in detail how grissom and sara’s behavior leading up to and during the divorce can be rationalized from an in-universe perspective if rationalize it we must (and we must).

the tl;dr version is that after years of living halfway across the world from each other, sometimes with as much as a nine hour time difference between them, and sara working nights while grissom (presumably) works days, their daily phone calls and monthly visits start to fall by the wayside.

because this falling off is a gradual one, neither one of them really realizes what is happening until several weeks or months have gone by and they’ve scarcely spoken to or seen each other at all.

at this point, their insecurities kick in, and grissom starts to fear that the reason sara isn’t contacting him is because she is so caught up in her new and exciting life in las vegas that she doesn’t need or want him anymore, while sara starts to fear that the reason grissom isn’t contacting her is because he has discovered he is happiest living apart from her and has subsequently fallen out of love with her.

rather than call each other to talk through these fears, both of them wallow in their own doubts and self-loathing. grissom eventually convinces himself that he is holding sara back from fully embracing her new life and being happy. sara eventually convinces herself that grissom losing interest in her has always been inevitable.

while neither one of them has actually fallen out of love with the other, they both convince themselves that the other person has.

so, not wanting to hold sara back or make her miserable, grissom decides to adhere to the old adage “if you truly love someone, let them go,” feeling that though splitting from sara will utterly break his heart, ultimately, it is the right thing to do, as he values her well-being so much higher than his own happiness. while he understands that due to her stubborn and loyal nature (and perhaps her fear of being alone), she might initially resist the idea of parting ways and be upset at first, he believes that eventually she will come around and realize that she is better off without him. though even considering the possibility is agony for him, he supposes that one day she might end up with someone who can be a better partner to her than he.

he therefore proposes the divorce to sara.

and since sara herself is of the belief that grissom has fallen out of love with her and wants out of their marriage for his own reasons, she feels she has no choice but to acquiesce, particularly as, just as he does with her, she values his well-being so much higher than her own happiness. though she knows she will never be happy without grissom, she hates the idea that she might be confining him to a life he no longer wants. she hopes that in quietly slinking away and never letting on to him just how badly he is hurting her, she is giving him a chance at the freedom he so obviously longs for.

in the end, each person (erroneously) thinks that they are doing what the other person wants them to. each person (erroneously) thinks that they have set the other person free to pursue a better life elsewhere.

in a strange, weirdly noble, twisted o. henryesque kind of way, the conclusions they draw and the actions they take based on their flawed understanding of each other’s desires make sense.

but only to the extent that we accept the original premise for the whole situation.

rationalize though we may, the bottom line is that, truthfully, the whole notion of the divorce is flawed going back to the original decision to have sara living on a different continent than grissom.

there’s just no way that these two characters who had canonically been madly in love with each other for fifteen years and who were already well-aware that they had wasted enough time waiting to be together as it were and who had been shown time and time again to be constitutionally incapable of staying away from each other for any significant period of time and who had been so miserable when they were separated (even relatively briefly) during the events of s8 and s9 and who were never happier in their lives than when they were with each other, etc., etc., etc., would willingly decide to live thousands of miles away from each other when they had the choice to do otherwise.

and especially not as newlyweds.

i mean.

that decision does not track.

but then, on top of such narrative tomfuckery, to say that a man who flew 3,343 miles to reunite with his true love in a jungle because he couldn’t bear to live without her would then somehow fail to call said true love—who was now his wife—for several months on end while living very far away from her doesn’t just strain credulity but breaks it.

it makes absolutely no sense.

it’s antithetical to the themes of the entire previous gsr love story.

and yet that’s the canon that the writers wrote.

utterly flawed as it is, that’s the reality we have to work with when trying to understand grissom’s behavior between s13 and the series finale.

so.

with all of this ranting in mind, the question then becomes, if we must accept that the divorce did happen, does grissom’s behavior during and after the divorce make sense?

and, honestly, for as much as i hate the divorce storyline with all the salt that is in me, i have to say that the answer is yes.

not only do grissom’s activities after he leaves sara makes sense as some weird form of self-imposed penance for his failures as her husband—joining a sea shepherd, just like she’d asked him to do with her back in episode 09x02 “the happy place;” naming his boat after the main character of a novel they both love; losing himself and risking his own life and limb to protect the wildlife she cares so deeply for; etc.—but so do his motivations for leaving in themselves.

one reason why he leaves is due to his own pain; for as much as he feels he is doing what’s best for sara, he also knows that he is dooming himself to a life of loneliness and heartbreak. sara is his one true love, and he is incredibly aware that he’ll never be happy again without her. while he wants her to eventually find her bliss in his absence, he can’t hang around and watch her moving on from him—and especially not if “moving on” involves eventually finding herself in the arms of another man.

as he talks about in his monologue from episode 04x12 “butterflied,” the idea of losing his “beautiful life” with her is almost unbearable to him.

that so, once he “sets her free,” he has to impose some distance between them, not just for her sake but for his own.

to quote from this post,

i think grissom knows all along that it is never the right decision for him—just in terms of what he wants for himself—to divorce sara.

i mean, he is still in love with her as he is divorcing her, and he spends the next two and a half years after the divorce quietly punishing himself for his failure to be a good husband to sara, cutting himself off from former friends and his old life in las vegas and embarking on a quest to do something that is important to sara (i.e., work for a sea shepherd organization), almost as an act of atonement.

he knows even as he is pursuing the divorce that he is never going to stop loving sara and regretting the fact that he has lost her; as he says to heather in the finale, he considers that it is now his lot in life to miss sara every day.

another reason why grissom leaves is because doing so is the only way he knows to deal with problems of his own making for which he feels there is no other solution.

grissom making himself scarce when he feels he is to blame for causing someone harm and doesn’t really know what to do for it otherwise is one of his well-established canon traits.

a primary example of this behavior would be in s4, when, having rejected sara’s offer of the “beautiful life” at the end of s3, grissom feels that it would be in both of their best interests for him to give her space. aware that his hot-and-cold act over the last few years has confused and hurt sara but knowing that he is not yet ready to be in a real relationship with her (and may never be ready, in fact), he decides that his best tack would be to withdraw from her as much as possible. he hopes that in so doing, he will allow her to heal and move on from him though he also secretly dreads that day’s coming.

accordingly, he spends the majority of s4 avoiding sara as much as possible. he limits the cases they work together, keeps their interactions as work-related as possible, and even goes as far as to somewhat inadvertently sabotage her chances at being promoted to the key position over nick.

he convinces himself that since he can’t seem to be around her without unintentionally causing her heartache, the only thing to do is to keep his distance until the issue resolves itself.

that he would do something similar with regards to the divorce very much makes sense, given that the situations are analogous.

just as he does during s4, during s13, grissom feels as if he has unintentionally hurt sara and been cruel to her. in his eyes, his wrongdoing is so severe that there’s no real apologizing or going back from it; he feels he has been a neglectful husband who has trapped sara in a marriage that offers her no room for personal growth or the finer things in life which she deserves. as he sees the situation, he, as an old man with poor social skills, is holding her, his young wife with life’s ambitions, back. in his view, he’s keeping her selfishly to himself when she has interests that lie elsewhere. he believes she’s lonely and isolated, but even if he were to physically return to her, his doing so wouldn’t be enough, as the real issue is not just the miles between them but the fact that he is by nature a solitary, uncommunicative misanthrope, inexperienced in love and life.

he can sense that she is miserable, and his self-loathing tells him that he is the cause.

consequently, he decides to withdraw from her.

of course, as you say, he is certainly aware that sara has hang-ups about abandonment and he likely does consider how his leaving will compound many of the wounds she suffered in childhood.

however, i think he ultimately misjudges the situation, honestly believing his presence to be more harmful to her than his absence, legitimately convinced that she will be far better off once she’s rid of him.

he really, truly believes he is the worst thing™.

so he leaves in the hopes that for whatever pain sara feels in the short-term, she’ll eventually experience far more joy in the long-term.

yet another reason why he leaves—and not just leaves but for all intents and purposes “goes off the grid,” all but ghosting sara—is because he wants to truly allow her to embrace her new (and better) life.

as i talk about in this post,

grissom never wanted to divorce sara, but he felt like it was a sacrifice that he had to make for her sake: his happiness in exchange for hers. he loves her so much that he was willing to be miserable so that she could potentially find bliss. and he was willing to go all out for it—not just to cede their marriage in order to give her a chance at moving onto something potentially better but also to completely walk away from their old life together, cutting all ties so that she would truly be “free” and have no more tethers to him.

grissom doesn’t seem to have kept in contact with anyone from las vegas following the divorce—not even, apparently, catherine, who lives in l.a. and who had been his friend before she was ever sara’s and theoretically should have been someone grissom “got” in the divorce.

he cut himself off entirely: no contact with his and sara’s mutual friends, no visits to the city, and no popping back in on sara once the deed was done, no matter how much he wanted to see her.

he knew that if it was going to be a real break, it needed to be a clean break.

and, honestly, that’s something he learned from sara herself.

when she left grissom for the first time back in 2007, she did so messily: she wrote him a note in which she told him she’d love him forever but expressed doubt that they would ever see each other again. after that, she was just gone for a while, and grissom didn’t know if they’d ever resume contact. but then she started calling him. and then she did come back, when warrick died, midway through 2008. for four months after that, they played the “will we or won’t we?” game; she stayed in vegas but always seemed to be on the verge of leaving again. grissom didn’t know what was going on or what to expect or what to do.

that’s why when she finally left again in september 2008, it was almost a relief to grissom—because after months of uncertainty, he finally had an answer.

it’s just that, eventually, he determined it was an answer he couldn’t live with, which is why he went after her, come january 2009.

at the time when he was considering divorcing sara, grissom remembered that agony—how it felt to always be hoping that sara would come back to him without ever knowing for certain if she would; feeling too tied to her to move on but too distant from her to know any sort of peace; trapped between love and the possibility that love wouldn’t be enough; spending each day in limbo, praying for something in his heart that his mind told him might never actually happen.

having intermittent contact with sara without fully having her in his life almost killed him.

so he decided he couldn’t do that to her: if he was going to divorce her for the express purpose of giving her a chance at happiness without him, then he needed to do it the right way; he needed to fully vacate her life and cut all ties. he couldn’t say “we’re over” and then keep hanging around. that wouldn’t have been fair to her.

he had to just disappear.

so that’s what he did.

for two and a half years, he went off the grid. once all the paperwork was finalized, he ghosted, no phone calls, no letters, no intermittent visits; he was just gone.

frankly, it almost killed him, not being able to see sara or talk to her at all anymore. she had been his best friend for fifteen years, his closest confidante and the one person in the world he told everything to, his wife, his true love, the person who made him believe that there were worthwhile things in this otherwise terrible world. even in the months leading up to the divorce, when their communication had been shoddy, and they hadn’t been seeing each other as much as he would have liked, he still took comfort in the fact that if he had ever really needed her, she would have been there for him, and he would have had recourse to her. giving up that connection was the single hardest thing he ever did in his life.

but he believed it was the right choice to make because it meant that sara might have the chance to finally be happy. he felt like ever since they started living apart, she’d built up this whole life in vegas that had no room for him in it. she was young and in the prime of her career and still had so much energy. who was he to stop her from living her life to the fullest? if he loved her—and he really did—then he had to give her the chance to experience all of the good things life had to offer her. she was stubborn and loyal, so she would never choose to cut her ties with him, no matter how miserable they were making her. that’s why he had to be the one to do it; it was a gift he could give her that she couldn’t give herself. it was something he felt she needed from him, so that’s why he did it.

he divorced her and then left her to make her new life without him.

he knew she’d been sad for a time, but he hoped she’d eventually heal and move on—that she’d be able to find that thing she’d seemingly always been looking for, that obviously he couldn’t be the one to give her.

that’s what gave him the willpower to stay away, even when he missed her so badly he could hardly think straight: the hope that she could be happy without him, that his sacrifice would be worth it because she was thriving in his absence.

while this line of thinking is selfless and loving on grissom’s part, the conclusions he draws are, unfortunately, based on flawed premises.

not only did sara never fall out of love with him or want the divorce to begin with, but his decision to essentially drop off of the face of the planet where she’s concerned hurts her more than he’ll ever know.

for as much as he believes he’s giving her the gift of a clean break and a fresh start, all she perceives in his action is rejection, and the pain of losing the one person in her life who has ever consistently been there for her is almost more than she can bear.

his good intentions notwithstanding, he succeeds in nothing but breaking both of their hearts.

so.

all of this discussion is to say that while i find it unbelievable that grissom and sara would ever live apart from each other for four years after they were married, and while i cannot roll my eyes hard enough at the notion that neither one of them would pick up a phone or get on a plane once they really started missing each other, since that’s the canon the writers gave me, within the context of that canon, i can believe that grissom would disappear on sara, even though he should know better than to do so.

it’s a behavior that fits his patterns.

it’s a decision that tracks given his motives.

while ultimately his choice is the wrong one (for both him and sara), it’s within his character to make, given the ridiculous scenario that he’s in.

now, as for the matter of writer intentions, as talked about above, certainly this storyline stems from laziness and a hankering for cheap drama.

but i think we would be giving the writers too much credit to suppose they’d had the finale reunion planned back when they first conceived of the divorce.

at that time, they had no idea if billy petersen would ever come back to the show—and that was part of the problem: they’d placed sara in a long-distance marriage to a man that many of the show’s newer fans had never met and perhaps never would meet, and since they couldn’t figure out how to imply depth when it came to her marriage and his existence, they felt trapped, like she was tied up in a storyline that had no potential to be productive.

when s13 originally aired and they were conducting interviews regarding the divorce, many of the showrunners and writers talked about wanting to explore sara as an individual character, outside of the context of her relationship with grissom.

while of course they never actually followed through on this initiative—jorja’s talents are so utterly wasted during the last several seasons of the show—that’s how they justified breaking up gsr at the time: by saying to themselves (and the fans), “for as long as sara is married to a character we can’t ever show on screen, we’re limited with what we can do with her, so we’re gonna free her up to explore other options with her.”

of course, that line of argument is beyond bogus—there were innumerable storylines they could have written for sara, both that had nothing to do with grissom and which had things to do with him even if he never appeared on screen, and none of them necessarily had to involve her getting divorced!—but they didn’t especially care.

they were trying to build up their ratings, and they figured “dropping a bombshell” would help—which it did, though only for a moment.

the majority of the divorce storyline aired during november and then february sweeps and did well(-ish, by later seasons standards) in the nielsens. however, in the immediate aftermath of episode 13x15 “forget me not,” millions of viewers dropped off overnight.

the show had already been hemorrhaging its audience since billy’s departure four seasons earlier, but the divorce prompted many of the fans who had remained even after he left to rage-quit csi en masse.

for those who were in the fandom at the time, it really was something to behold. there were so many pissed off people. twitter and the message boards roared up in a flurry of angry activity and then suddenly went silent.

how the writers failed to anticipate the backlash, i do not know.

but, boy howdy!, once they realized how angry people were, they backpedaled like hell, to the point where showrunner don mcgill even went as far as to (rather nonsensically) state in an interview that grissom and sara weren’t actually divorced or “even separated”—a statement which was, of course, later proven false during the events of the finale—in order to soothe the flames.

they regretted what they’d done almost as soon as they’d done it.

it’s just that, by then, there was no real way to undo the damage.

the only way to fix gsr would be to show grissom and sara reconciling in a meaningful way on screen—and such a reconciliation could only take place if they could snag billy petersen for a guest spot.

stuck in no man’s land for lack of grissom, tptb decided that the best thing to do would be to leave the whole storyline alone—to not put sara into any new relationships or show her moving on from grissom in any way; in fact, to not even have her (or anyone else) even talk about grissom or mention the divorce; to erase it from public memory as much as possible.

all the while, they sat back hoping that maybe they could get billy back eventually.

and come the finale, they finally did.

at that point, anthony zuiker took to twitter to solicit input from the fans on what they wanted to see, and the answer was (overwhelmingly) a gsr reconciliation. he therefore made the finale into what was essentially a two-hour, made-for-tv gsr movie to the neglect of all of the other characters and dynamics on the show.

while everything ultimately worked out in the end, there was never some grand plan on the parts of the writers. they had certainly intended to stir up drama in originally writing the divorce, but they had no sense of what they were writing toward—and no guarantees that they would ever be able to fix what they had broken until that very last minute when billy agreed to come back.

anyway, the whole divorce storyline was a shitshow all the way around.

while both grissom and sara’s behavior makes sense for what it is within the parameters of the given scenario, those parameters and that scenario make little sense in themselves.

there were so many other, better routes the writers could have taken at every turn, and why they chose that particular one, i’ll never understand—or at least never excuse.

sorry for all the salt here.

thanks for the question! feel welcome to send another any time.

#answered #stokes-theorem #asks: csi #**#my meta #meta: csi #meta: grissom #meta: production #csi #gil grissom #season thirteen #let's talk shop #butterflied4life #later seasons #csiverse

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forestwater87 · 4 years ago

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Hey! It's the one who wanted fanfiction writing advice and how to sorta join the fandom. So, I am currently writing a werewolf! au for Gwenvid, and I was wondering if I could ask you something (well, multiple somethings lol)? One, what are things you would like to see in a Gwenvid fic? Two, do you have any advice for writing a good first chapter? Mine is kind of short and not too good, but yours are super good. Three, how would Gwen react to becoming a werewolf? Scared or excited? Thanks!

Oooh, fun! I don’t know if I’m the best authority on this, but I think I have a couple followers who might also have some good insights. Let’s see . . .

Things I personally go feral for in Gwenvid fics:

That UST. Pining, longing, yearning -- whatever you wanna call it, all those little glances at each other then looking away when they get caught staring, getting distracted by a brush of skin against theirs or the other one looking amazing just out of nowhere, standing too close without realizing it and then awkwardly coughing and backing away . . . all of it. These two goobers in love with each other and completely oblivious is just . . . idk, it’s obviously personal preference, but that will-they-won’t-they dance is one of my favorite things about pre-established-relationship Gwenvid, and something I never get tired of. (Also, just saying: werewolf transformations have the distinct side effect of the werewolf waking up partially or completely naked in the forest. It’s a scenario ripe for awkward and/or hilarious situations.)

If they’re in an established relationship already, it’s all about those little domestic things. I mean, there can be domestic things even before they’re dating, because they live together for like 3-4 months out of the year so they have a routine going, but things like one of them keeping the light on for the other without thinking, making coffee/tea and leaving everything laid out just the way the other one likes it, communicating (or even arguing) with just a look, all the casual lil touches of two people so comfortable with each other that it’s automatic at this point. It’s an essential part of fluff that I sometimes feel is overlooked in favor of more dramatic hurt/comfort (which is also excellent, to be clear).

BANTER! It’s not so much a canon thing as a fanon one, but the artist formerly known as Ciphernetics basically established flirty teasing and back-and-forth as a staple of Gwenvid’s charm in their earth-shatteringly beautiful fanfiction (that I can’t link because tumblr softblocks posts with links, but if you look at my blog for like 10 seconds you’ll be able to figure out what I’m talking about), and I think everyone’s writing, including my own, needs more banter. They’re so different, after all; why not have them butt heads in a fun way?

Please please please don’t do NSFW if you’re uncomfortable with it, but there is nowhere near enough of it in Gwenvid-land. Just because we’re wholesome doesn’t mean we can’t also be kinky! (Oh man, I just realized I have no idea how old you are. Uhhhh if you’re not an adult just skip this one on by! Or if you are an adult and this ain’t it. It’s like it wasn’t ever here! Poof! I should probably just delete this, but maybe it’ll awaken a spark of inspiration in someone. Lord knows I haven’t been driving the smut train for a while, so I’m just hoping someone else will do my job for me. Plus Gwen would want me to include this suggestion, especially if there are werewolves involved.)

You know, there’s not a lot of action-hero Gwenvid out there, is there? Most of it’s relationship melodrama and domestic fluff, which I love -- obviously, I write it literally all the time -- but with a werewolf AU you have the opportunity for gratuitous violence, and both David and Gwen have proven they can kick a whole lot of ass and deal out (or take) a lot of pain. If you need two people fighting monsters -- or fighting as monsters -- you could do a lot worse than those two. It’d be a fun change of pace that’d work well with their character dynamic.

Writing a first chapter:

I don’t have a ton of advice here that isn’t pretty common, but the biggest thing is to start in the middle of action. This can range in terms of drama: a camp activity going horribly wrong, a nightmare, maybe even David discovering Gwen’s a werewolf. Your story doesn’t have to go in chronological order, after all, so if you have to backtrack in later scenes or chapters that’s not a bad thing in the slightest!

It’s much better to start with a really exciting, gripping situation and then backfill in the information that matters than starting off with all that boring worldbuilding and exposition. Don’t get me wrong, that worldbuilding and exposition are necessary, but they’re also like . . . I dunno, salt. It’s essential to the recipe, but no one would say it’s their favorite part of a meal, and having to eat a whole pile of it before they get to the good stuff wouldn’t be enjoyable at all. It’s better sprinkled throughout to add flavor to your story as needed.

I like that metaphor! It’s kinda cliche, but I think it still gets the job done.

So yeah, start with something exciting and know it’s okay for your readers to go, “wait, what the fuck’s going on?” That’s kind of a great thing, actually; it establishes mystery and introduces higher stakes, and just gets your readers going. It’s also more fun to write, which is good! (For example, I just read a really great book call The Chill, which opened with a woman tying a bag over her head, weighting herself down with chains, and throwing herself into a river to “join the work.” Who is this person? What work? Did she know she was going to die -- it definitely doesn’t feel like a suicide, but what else did she think was going to happen?? I’m instantly on board, even if the next few scenes were focused on establishing exposition and actually kinda boring. It’s all about that hook.)

To be fair: I don’t do this all that often in my own fics. For every “starting the story with a botched assassination attempt,” we have “starting the story with waking up.” It’s important to have a first chapter that matches and sets the tone of your story; if it’s going to be a rip-roaring action/horror adventure, you’re going to want to start things off with all that stuff I mentioned before. If you’re writing cute fluff, there’s nothing wrong with your in media res chapter opening being an adorable fluffy scene. Compelling doesn’t have to mean scary or action-packed, but more serve as a teaser for what the rest of the story is going to bring. I’ve been leaning on action or thriller stuff because a werewolf AU implies some level of creature-feature monster spookiness, but any tone works as the start of a fic, as long as it’s not “here’s a laundry list of the universe’s rules,” because that’s boring and you can weave that into the rest of your story later.

As for your other comment, short isn’t bad at all; in fact, if you want to make your first chapter a really short, compelling scene, that can be a great way to draw people in. But I also am a proponent of writing until it’s done, and couldn’t stick to a page or word count to save my life. My chapters are all over the place, and sometimes I’ll randomly chop them up if I feel like it’s going too long but usually I don’t bother. The more you write, the more you develop a feel for when the story, chapter, or scene needs to end, but as you’re starting out you might wanna snag a beta to help you find that stopping place.

Wow, this is long! Awkward! Sorry about that! I’ll make this last one short:

Gwen the werewolf:

I can’t imagine any universe in which she isn’t psyched as hell. I think she desperately wants to be more special and important than she is, and having a sexy monster superpower would only be a good thing to her, regardless of whatever its drawbacks may be. She might get tired of certain aspects of being a werewolf as the honeymoon phase wears off, but in the beginning I think she’d be excited and maybe even relieved.

Anyway, I hope that helps! It’s a lot of rambling, but I imagine you’re used to that by now. :)

#ask forest #campcamp #gwenvid #yeah i'm putting this in the main tags even though it's long as balls #fight me #cc gwen #campcampfanfan

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years ago

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i’ve been kinda in a rut deciding what johnlock fanfics to read, so i came up with a challenge for myself to read as many “A Study In ____” fanfics as possible. do you have any good suggestions?

Hi Lovely!

Ahh, what a fun request and a super easy list for me to curate!! Hee hee! Here’s what I have in my bookmarks AND in my MFL list! As usual, if any of my lovelies have any of their own “A Study in” fics to suggest, please add them below!!

A STUDY IN FANFICS

Peacock by ClassyGirlsWearPearls (T, 1,189 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Cranky Sherlock, Soft John, Hand Holding, Soft Sherlock) – A study in Sherlock and John.

Study in John by chappysmom (K+, 2,158 w., 1 Ch. || Post-ASiP, POV John, Introspection, Friendship, Nightmares, Caring Sherlock, John’s Limp) – After the events of "A Study in Pink," John lies on the couch in Baker Street and thinks about the whirlwind events of the day. What is he getting himself into?

A Study in Lace by KarlyAnne (E, 2,320 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Crafty Sherlock, Tiny Lace Panties / Lingerie, Domestics, Experiments, Oral, Masturbation) – “Why do you suppose he was doing that?” “Why do I suppose who was doing what?” “The room. The lace. The secrecy. He was playing with fire in everything he did, and didn’t care one bit. But he had a secret chamber, carefully concealed, solely for the purpose of making lace lingerie. Obviously for personal use. Why?" Part 1 of The Unintentional Crafts of Sherlock Holmes

Study in Sherlock by chappysmom (K+, 3,790 w., 1 Ch. || ASiP, Friendship, Introspection, Anxious Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Caring Sherlock, Stroppy Sherlock) – Sherlock's thoughts and feelings during A Study in Pink. What DID he think of John, and why was he being so NICE?

Study in Mycroft by chappysmom (K+, 4,929 w., 1 Ch. || Character Study, Big Brother Mycroft, Mycroft POV, Nosy Mycroft, Holmes Brothers) – A look at Mycroft's thoughts and actions during a Study in Pink.

A Study in Intimacy by doodle (T, 5,183 w., 1 Ch. || WEBARCHIVE LINK || PODFIC AVAILABLE || First Kiss, Virginity, Romance, Touching) – People don't touch Sherlock Holmes, not like they touch other people. Then he meets John Watson.

A Study in Linguistics by rizandace (T, 12,425 w., 1 Ch. || S1 Canon Compliant/S2 Divergence, Friendship, Slices of Life, Communication, Cranky Sherlock, Hospitals, Sherlock Whump, Pet Cat, Jealous John, Sherlock’s Violin, Anxious Sherlock, John Whump) – Sherlock Holmes and John Watson had their own language. It was a language of few words and minute facial expressions, and John had learned that it was nearly the only way to have an honest conversation with his eccentric flat mate.

A Study In Auto-Signatures, Sniper Dolphins, and Sex Holidays by cwb (E, 32,689 w., 8 Ch. || Case Fic, Post S3, Evil Mary, Dev. Rel., Beach Holidays, Confused Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Honeymoon, Epistolary, Bottomlock, First Kiss / Time, Fluff, Secret Agents, BAMF!John) – John and Mary go on their sex holiday, and Sherlock is grumpy and pining about it. Part 1 of HOT DOLPHIN SEX

A Study Of Living With Sherlock Holmes by AllesandraQuartermaine (T, 50,234 w., 22 Ch. || Post-ASiP/Pre-TAB, Domestics, Friendship, POV John) – Learn about what happened between John and Sherlock January 31st and March 22. From John's pov on how to survive and learn to live with one eccentric mad genius known as Sherlock Holmes.

A Study in Winning by Jupiter_Ash (E, 106,658 w., 11 Ch. || Tennis AU || John POV, Dirty Talk, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Happy Ending, Sherlock Speaks French, Switchlock, Wimbledon) – John and Sherlock are professional tennis players and it’s Wimbledon. One is a broken almost was at the end of his career, the other an arrogant rising star tipped for greatness. It should have been a straightforward tournament. It really should have been. How were they to know that a chance encounter would change everything? Part 1 of Tennis

MARKED FOR LATER

A Study in Pink Pyjamas by alexxphoenix42 (M, 1,628 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Est. Rel., Pink Pyjamas, Fluff, Cross-Dressing) – Sherlock hasn't been a fan of either Christmas or fancy pyjamas for a number of years, but John has a way of changing his mind about things.

A Study in Night Terrors by Dovahlock221 (T, 2,811 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Night Terrors, (Emotional) Hurt/Comfort, PTSD Sherlock, Worried John, Hurt John, Angst with Happy Ending) – Five times Sherlock suffered from night terrors and the one time he had the best dream of his life.

A Study in Beard by Loveismyrevolution (T, 3,810 w., 1 Ch. || Established Relationship, Fluff and Humour, Experiments, Beards, Idiots in Love, Quarantine) – Sherlock has to face the consequences of using up all of their shaving foam. Which turns out to be more fun than expected. Boys being boys, nothing can go without a challenge. Although, being isolated presents a problem. How will they determine the winner? Part 2 of the Hairy Situations at 221B series

A Study in Sensuality (or, That Johnlock Gif Story) by MojoFlower (E, 4,693 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock || Porn Gifs, PWP, Pole Dancer Sherlock, Student Sherlock, Student John, Photography, Sensuality, Voyeurism, Masturbation, Rimming, Fingering, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Felching, Unsafe Sex) – When John signs up to partner with Sherlock Holmes in photography class, he never guesses it will end up with him balls-deep in his study partner's arse. Easy A?

A Study in Dichotomy by UrbanHymnal (E, 7,439 w., 1 Ch. || First Time, Masturbation, Hand Jobs, Anal Sex, Misunderstandings, Fluff and Humour) – John wants his brilliance and his stupidity; his knowledge of 243 types of ash and his inability to name all the planets in the solar system; his perfectly pressed suits and his wrinkled t-shirts carelessly tossed on inside out. John wants to kiss Sherlock when he is still waking to the world, to press against him when he is still warm from sleep. He wants to grab Sherlock by the scarf and haul him close so he can bury his nose in the sweat that has collected at the base of Sherlock's neck, under his arms, in between his legs.

A Study in Asexuality by ladyxdarcy (M, 8,082 w., 1 Ch. || Asexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Acephobia, Mentions of Rape/Corrective Rape Therapy, Past Suicidal Ideation, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Overdose, Past Mary/John, Emotional Sherlock, Insecure Sherlock, Vulnerable Sherlock, Est. Rel., Angst with Happy Ending, Fluff) – When Sherlock, asexual to his core, fears that John may grow bored of a sexless life, he decides to do whatever it takes to make John happy so he stays. Good thing John is already happy.

A Study in Anorexia by madeleinefs (NR, 11,415 +w., 16 Ch. || WIP || Eating Disorders, Anorexia, Bulimia, Starvation, Mental Health Issues, Hospitalization, Sherlock Being Sherlock, Doctor John, Self Harm, Depression, Angst, Hurt Sherlock) – A realistic approach as to what Sherlock would look like suffering from an eating disorder. This will not be a Johnlock, or some sort of sick-and-then-love-heals-all story, because that isn't realistic. I want this to be realistic, and true to the characters, as well as true to the nature of the disease.

A Study in Sex Series by Castiel_For_King (E, 19,939 w. across 4 works || Virgin Sherlock, Bottomlock, Sensitive Sherlock, Hand Jobs, Porn with Plot / Feelings, Praise Kink, Gentle John, Naïve Sherlock, Sexual Exploration, Anal, Frottage, Tender Sex) – Sherlock is new to sex and John is the first person he's ever wanted to touch and be touched by. But wanting it doesn't seem to magically wash away his apprehension like he'd hoped. Luckily, it's John and John is wonderful and kind and patient and maybe has a bit of a thing for teaching Sherlock all about physical intimacy.

The Art Of Seduction: A Study In Pulling by flawedamythyst (M, 25,279 w., 1 Ch. || AU) – Sherlock ran a website called The Science Of Seduction, on which he gave advice on the best ways to get laid, wrote blog entries detailing the results of his various sexual 'experiments' and generally contributed to the stereotype of 'every gay man is a sex-mad playboy'. John avoided the thing like the plague. AU in which Sherlock treats sex like he does crime in canon. Inspired by Queer As Folk UK, but it very quickly went its own way. Part 1 of The Art Of Seduction

A Study in Slavery by sweetinsane (M, 88,538+ w., 12/? Ch. || WIP || Dark / Slavery AU || ASiP, Angst, Domestic Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Slow Build, Dehumanization, Sexual Slavery, Child Abuse, Master/Slave Dynamics, Dark Content) – John has never owned a slave of his own, but after returning from Afghanistan is awarded one with his pension. A disobedient male slave with way too much troubling history, however, is not what he would have chosen himself.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #to read #a study in fanfics #themiddlenameslove

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