#i make the best decisions ever

[sxnctxxry]

time to get my hopefully 1 hour of sleep :)

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

are you really besties if you can't share a joint

[stil-lindigo]

the candle.

a comic about rediscovering passion and recovering from burnout.

creative notes:

[oneluckydragon]

"Suddenly the world was gray and dull and my heart was so heavy I felt like I couldn’t move, let alone make it back to Treasure Town. But because of Echo’s last wish… I was able to keep living.”

--- --- --- --- ---

SORA : (Partner)

Abilities: Justified / Inner Focus

Nature: Gentle / Hardy

Moveset: Aura Sphere / Metal Claw / Poison Jab / Dragon Pulse

[katnissmellarkkk]

i’m so not trying to be mean but i can’t believe anyone actually thought haymitch wouldn’t be cast as a young woody harrelson. there is absolutely no way a young haymitch was ever gonna be anything but white. i know i joked about it, but it was a joke.

yes, haymitch, katniss and gale are poc in the books. canonically. but that went out the window in the movie universe in 2011 when they casted all white people. there was never a chance they would sway from that now. no one affiliated with the movies will even admit katniss wasn’t white. suzanne collins herself won’t admit it. and majority of people on the internet, outside of this site and small pockets of the fandom on other apps, all believe katniss/haymitch/gale/etc. were always meant to be white.

i don’t agree with it but until they reboot the entire series, these characters will always be white. and since the films practically walk on water in the mainstream media’s eyes, we’re sort of stuck with what we got.

[literallyjusttoa]

I’m in my feels about Leto rn.

She a mom!!!! You don’t understand she’s a MOM!!!! And she was left all alone after the titan war (most titans were banished to Tartarus) and then she fell in love with this guy with all these red flags but they were genuinely in love!!! They sang songs and talked about deep things and Leto and Zeus LOVED EACH OTHER!!!!! And then she was made to suffer so much for it but she never took any of it out on her kids, and then they were basically taken away from her by Olympus!!!! And she was alone again!!!! But she loves her kids so so much so she built a safe place for them on Delos to come home to!!!! And she knows she can’t protect her kids from the monster the man she loves has become but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t try!!!! Leto tries so hard!!!!! And both of her kids fucking love her with all they have!!!!!!! Family is so important to all of them despite the fact that one member has become a horrible dickwad!!!!! They love each other!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

[deoidesign]

Hello! I just discovered your blog and I immediately became captivated by your webcomic, but I'm unsure where to read all of it. I know it's on Webtoons, but I can see it hasn't been updated for a while, and you still post about it.

Are your physical novels just prints of the webcomic? Are they a continuation? Is the story complete? Thanks in advance!

Hi there!

Glad you found me and are enjoying my comic!

It's only on webtoons, and the story is not complete yet! We're 2/3 of the way through right now. It's currently on hiatus, and it's scheduled to come back in about 2 months!

I'll explain why it's been so long if you're curious, but also for my followers who might also be wondering about it under the cut. Sorry, it's pretty much just me complaining haha

I took a month off I took 2 months to get the books printed I took a month to prepare my next comic and I took 2 months to write the rest of the series (I knew the character arcs I wanted, but not the time periods or mysteries!!!) I've been working on actual episodes since then

I had to take some time off because of some pretty extreme burnout due to the sheer amount of work it was to draw over 800 pages and write 6 complete stories in a year and a half... I was getting sick almost weekly due to the overwork, it was really really bad honestly. I was having to work 60+ hours every week just to keep up...

The nature of the comic itself is also difficult... Each of the arcs is a complete, self contained story which can be read (ideally) without context, and my arcs need to be about 10-13 episodes each... And since I have an exact number of episodes to work with, it's even harder.

It takes a ton of planning and a ton of refinement, and working week to week with no breaks I was forced to put out second or even first drafts, so I just wasn't happy with the work I was doing... And to do that for the rest of the series? I wouldn't be proud of the work I did.

Plus... To be entirely honest, webtoon has treated me quite badly IN MY OPINION... They deprioritized me before I launched (I had to beg for more promotion, I'm not exaggerating), they outright denied me the opportunity to even ask for a raise, I don't make any money on fast pass and they pay me less than my partner makes working at trader joes. My first editor left me completely hanging, my second editor (who I loved) was fired... And they told me I wouldn't get a third season before my first season even finished. So it was just repeatedly completely demoralizing.

I'm sorry it has taken so long, it'll have been 10 months by the time I come back. But I realized... I won't get promotion either way. I won't get more episodes either way. I won't get more money either way. So to finish everything, to make it feel good, to make it something I'm proud of, I chose to take longer to make it better.

I am fully aware I will lose a significant amount of my readership for this and it might genuinely affect my career moving forward. But it's what I had to do! So I'm sticking to my guns on it, and I'm confident long term it'll be worth it. It never could have been this good if I didn't take this much time.

[triangular-dude]

Bisexual lightning gremlin

[rabarbarzcukrem]

Not to defend Lu Guang's hypocrisy, but.

Can you imagine losing your best friend and deciding not to save them, knowing that you have the power to? And not only making this decision once, but day after day for the rest of your life? Being aware that you could go back at any given moment, and still persistently choosing not to? Can you imagine ever moving on? Living with yourself? Going about your day with the knowledge that not only did you let them die, but you're also continuing to let them die at all times by not doing anything? Can you imagine not going insane?

[shiresome]

YOU CANNOT PRY MK VS DC FROM ME

[fleshadept]

since i played disco elysium the only way i've been able to describe the feeling it instills is "shrimp emotions" because i really just have no words for it. none do it justice. melancholy, catharsis, hope, regret. there's so much and it's so interwoven

[good-to-drive]

Abuse, Silence, And Why Kevin Can Fuck Himself

I recently finished watching Kevin Can Fuck Himself on Netflix, and, aside from being the most brutally honest portrayal of domestic abuse I have ever seen, I discovered a beautifully written examination of narrative as power and silence as abuse and how this manifests in our larger culture. 

Without going into too much detail, the show is filmed in two distinct styles that are interleaved throughout each episode to tell a cohesive story. Allison and Kevin’s relationship as seen by the rest of the world is told through a multi-cam, laugh-track sitcom that depicts a very typical “goofy husband, shrewish wife” mainstream comedy. Allison’s life through her own eyes is told through a single-cam drama/thriller about Allison planning to murder Kevin to escape his abuse. 

It’s an absolute masterclass in screenwriting, but more than that, every episode explores the difference between truth, fact, and reality, and how none of these things are quite as much or as little as story. But while the process of transforming the chaotic and plotless reality of life into a story is as involuntary and essential as breathing, misogyny and the degradation of women is just as ubiquitous in our society, and a story that exists at the expense of another person’s lived reality is a refutation of their humanity. 

It's also just a great show for anyone who likes to engage with history (or reality TV or true crime or “real life stories” in general), because while we have to tell ourselves stories about her own lives, we have to tell ourselves stories about other people as well. Eternal silence is narrative death, and the perpetual silence of an unspoken narrative is often the last death we can visit on someone whose story we’d rather ignore. 

I also pulled up some books – Lolita and Disgrace – that dealt with similar themes, but from the perspective of the abuser. And what strikes me the most is that, across three beautifully written stories about narrative and silence within a culture that normalizes abuse, Allison, who began her story within a state of narrative death, was the only point-of-view character who had any chance of surviving. 

One of the main themes of Kevin is that a compelling story is often a story that reinforces what we already believe or like to believe, and while the story may be factual and true it often also exists at the expense of someone's lived reality. The exact same series of events can be a silly joke or a harrowing tale of abuse depending on the lens through which we view it, but historically we've only been willing to see the multicam, laugh track, sitcom perspective on unbalanced relationships.

The alchemical process of turning a series of disjoint facts and experiences into a narrative creates something new and compelling, and erases much of what previously existed. In this way, it’s entirely irreversible. We spin our experiences into a very thin thread, a story we can tell ourselves that elicits something within us, something we need in order to live with the complex, uncertain, and unsatisfying reality of life. In think in many ways the thing we elicit in ourselves is truth. But truth is both more and less than fact, often more a reflection of our own beliefs and desires than the events of our lives. And in telling that truth we may never stray from the facts, but we almost by definition cannot give voice to another person’s reality.

There's a scene in season 2 of Kevin when Allison is hit by a door – a la the classic excuse – because of Kevin’s carelessness. And while he absolutely did not hit her, the way it's written is such an incredible allegory for how Kevin has curated their story and curated their friends' and family’s perceptions of their story such that even if she tells everyone the exact, unvarnished truth of what's happening to her and begs for help, they will only be capable of seeing the laugh-track, sitcom, “Kevin is a harmless goofball and his wife is a total shrew” perspective on the events of their lives. 

As so often happens with abuse, their friends and family saw Allison being hurt because of Kevin. But the alchemy of creating a narrative around Kevin and Allison is irreversible, and the series of events they witness can only be spun together to a joke, an accident, a silly, childish mistake. Allison’s reality, Allison’s pain and fear, is completely elided. Like a lost sound in the middle of a sentence, her experience goes silent, and their larger understanding of her relationship never has to change. And you feel so acutely how Allison lives her entire life in that silence. 

Storytelling is human, it’s essential, there’s no other way to engage with our own lives. And it’s not lying. It’s never lying to tell the truth. But it doesn’t reflect every reality, either, because another person’s reality can’t be reflected within our own narrative, because that’s what it means to be another person. To spin two different threads.

And because narrative is the essential process by which we understand our reality, denying someone their own narrative, or denying that this narrative be heard, is inherently abusive. To allow someone a voice is to give them humanity, and to suppress it is to strip that humanity away. 

Disgrace, by J.M. Coetzee, follows the story of a professor, David, who rapes a student and then fails to protect his daughter, Lucy, from being raped by intruders in their home. He destroys his daughter’s life  – not through failing to protect her, but through twisting her rape into a story about why the rape of his student wasn’t wrong. The main theme of the book is generally considered to be exploitation, but Coetzee doesn’t deal with the exploitation of the rape. That’s too direct, too immediate, too easy for the reader to understand as misogynistic and wrong. Rather, Coetzee delves into “the innocuous-seeming use of another person to fill one's gentler emotional needs” (Ruden).

The rape is how we understand David as a fundamentally exploitative person, a person who denies others their humanity by converting them into a vessel for his own desires, who erases their voice in order to speak through them and give himself the things he needs. And that’s how we recognize that the way he absorbs and claims the stories of his daughter and his student is another kind of violation of their humanity. Another way of turning women into vessels for men’s pain and fear and need. 

What’s fascinating is that David's student finds her voice – files a complaint against him – and is eventually able to continue with her life. The woman he raped is less damaged by him than his own daughter, because she was the woman he couldn’t permanently silence. 

In Lolita, another brilliant novel about abuse, dehumanization, and storytelling, Humbert turns to the reader at the end and says, “Imagine us, reader, for we don’t really exist if you don’t.” 

It’s not that Humbert knew he was fictional, but that he knew everyone was fictional. Believed the entire world only truly existed in his own mind, because anything beyond that was irrelevant to his needs. He coped with the collapse of his ability to dehumanize Dolores (who he called Lolita) by demanding that his voice be resurrected. Demanding immortality. Demanding his narrative exist in another person’s world, and thereby be given the existence and humanity that Allison and Dolores and Lucy and David’s student were denied. 

Pushing his needs, finally, onto the reader, because we are the only person he has left, and a person like him can only exist through the use of another. In that way, Humbert was powerless. In that way, Kevin and David were powerless, too.

In Disgrace, David’s dream is to write an opera, and at the end of the book he realizes he’ll never finish his magnum opus. He’ll never be able to terminate the process of converting himself, his world, into a story. But he does learn to decenter himself in that narrative. And it’s when he loses all fear of death, and any conception of the self, that he gains the ability to give dogs – who he generally equates to women – a voice within his opera, his life’s work. 

It’s in death that we discover our true unimportance as human beings, that we learn to let go of vanity and our conception of the self entirely. And David had degraded women so thoroughly in order to justify how he used them to meet his own emotional needs that it was only in losing all value for his own life that he could gain the ability to see them as equal voices. To actually put those voices into his own life story. It's at the cost of himself that he allows other people to truly exist, in the death of the self that he finally allows the world to exist outside of himself. It’s almost a positive character arc. Almost.

When Kevin finally loses the ability to abuse Allison, he, like many abusers, loses all desire to live. His world was built on a structure of superiority and inferiority, on beings and vessels, on the inherent value of men and the inherent meaninglessness of women’s lives. The system on which he based his entire reality has been destroyed by Allison’s declaration of the self. And, if he was a being because she was a vessel, then in losing the ability to treat her as a vessel, to fully and completely dehumanize her, he has lost his own humanity. 

It may be perfectly summed up here: “Become major. Live like a hero. That's what the classics teach us. Be a main character. Otherwise, what is life for?” (Coetzee).

If you’re not to be a main character, if there indeed is no split between major and minor characters, between people and the paper dolls that populate their story, between living beings and the vessels into which they pour their need – what is life for?

Nothing. At least, not for people whose narrative must exist at the expense of another. 

And that’s why I say that only a narrator like Allison could survive this kind of story. Despite beginning her story trapped in eternal silence, her reality fully elided no matter how immediate and obvious it became, Allison was the only point-of-view character of any of these three stories who didn’t establish her power through the degradation of another. Who didn’t conceptualize the world via being and vessels. Whose narrative didn’t exist, by necessity, at the expense of another person’s humanity. Whose thread could exist in a larger tapestry without destroying her sense of self.

Don’t get me wrong, she’s not generally a likable character. She’s misogynistic, cruel, selfish, jealous, desperate, afraid, and in pain. Like anyone in an abusive relationship, she’s not at her best, and she’s often pushed to do things that are ugly and disturbing because she’s simply been pushed too far. 

But, for me, the power in her character is in how her last scene never felt like a final scene. Her story didn’t have to be killed, her conception of the self didn’t have to be killed, in order to reveal the brutal reality of stories twisting and intertwining without any inherently superior truth or narrative among them. Allison’s story was one of declaring herself. And that’s why it didn’t feel like it ended at the end. Instead, this felt like a beginning.

[katemagic]

we truly do need to talk more about how fucking insane achi is like okay yes karan is karan but achi literally moved in with the first person he ever dated after TWO (2) dates and was like wow 10/10 best life decision I ever made I'm so glad I did that I love my boyfriend

not to mention that he bought a ring and then presumably carried it around with him???? just waiting so that he could propose after karan did like. he literally bought a ring. after dating him for like a couple of months ????? maybe ????? absolutely fucking unhinged they're perfect for each other. who does this.

[cyanide-sippy-cup]

Thinking about how Ninjago S2 is probably one of my favorite pieces of television I've ever watched. It flows so well off of season 1 and allows those arcs to spread and grow.

It gave us the Mega Weapon, the Stone Army, the Overlord, lore for the Destiny's Bounty, let us actually meet Zane's dad, Misako, cured Garmadon, gave Lloyd his best arc (which the movie pretty much pulled from and the show still does), still is the Overlord's best defeat,

The characters actually have interesting dynamics with each and every one of each other that allows them to truly feel like a found family with history (and both Jay AND Kai get to react to things that happen to Nya, not just her Yin),

We got one of my favorite 3D-animated fights of all time,

And let's be honest, the show peaked right here (in a positive way).

[lakesparkles]

Can you believe I like these two for ONE YEAR?? Because I can't!

If you want to read the big, emotional description I put on Instagram, here you go:

I'm a few days earlier, but it has been��� a year since I started liking these two- Maybe it doesn't sound like a big deal, but I NEVER had a hyperfixation that lasted for so long, it's usually only some months. But here I am, drawing PB and Diane as usual. So this is a simple and self indulgente post, the first slide is me redrawing my first drawings of them! Being totally honest, I don't even know why I like them that much. It all started with "they have the most interesting and well written relationship I've ever seen" and soon turned into "I need to draw them kissing". I know they aren't the most usual ship, but I'm very thankful that more people like me drawing them, especially with how they make me a lot happier in general. Funny enough, the only problem I ever had shipping them was a few weeks ago when I found out someone reposted my art on Reddit of all places. This explains the second slide, because it was most comments it got, saying how much my art was weird, gross and disturbing. According to them, I draw Mr Peanutbutter more like a dog (?) so I shouldn't draw him kissing Diane…. they also didn't like my art style because I'm a furry :/ what surprises me is that they were fans of the show as well, complaining about me drawing a canon couples that kissed on the show and were married for four seasons… But oh well, it doesn't make me as upset as before and it surely won't make me stop drawing them. But PLEASE, don't repost my art of Reddit lmao Anyways, I love them <33

[tartaruga-cosmica]

First time playing around with reshade! :3