#i make music & it makes me happy { interactions || nicki }

[mamirhodessxox]

His Strange Addiction (Pt 8)

Cody Rhodes x Fem Wrestler!OC (Milena Reyz)

Desc: Milena goes down memory lane the night before the gender reveal of her & Cody’s baby, Cody injured himself working on the nursery a little bit & takes if like a champ, Milena discusses some insecurities she’s been experiencing with Cody the day of the gender reveal & he just wishes she could see herself the way he does.

Contents: Angst, Fluff, Arguing, Milena serving cunt, Cody being a whore for Milena, Mentions of insecurity, slightly toxic duo, Mentions of pregnancy, Cody getting an injury.

{~I'm very serious with you guys interacting with my writing!!!! it would make me so happy & excited, the more comments & reposts the more inspiration i have to write :) Votes and comments are strongly appreciated so please COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT COMMEENNTTT the more comments the more content <3!!!~}

13 years ago

Cody & Milena became acquainted with each other & that very night was the beginning of everything that went up to their marriage in 2023, Milena used to be into dance before she even got into wrestling in early 2010 meanwhile Cody was thriving in his newly started WWE career, both of them had a mutual best friend which was Seth Rollins. He knew Cody was actively looking for a girlfriend and he also knew Milena was looking for a relationship as well & automatically he knew if he introduced them they would have an interesting relationship dynamic, Cody was in the middle of his Dashing high ego cocky era & Milena was just a hot girl that everyone either wished they could be her or be with her.

January 27th 2010 was the night WWE was holding some random after party after an event in L.A and Seth decided to play wing man & bring Milena along with him to this party, She was already well known famously due to her history with modeling & being best Friends with the y2k it girls such as Paris Hilton, So it wasn’t a surprise to Seth when people tried talking to Mills literally because of her connections, Cody knew who she was, sort of, He would see Seth post random selfies with her over the internet or just come across her iconic selfies.

Milena walked into the random house party & looked around for Seth, in-fact, Seth was in the bathroom with Cody “Okay, Hear me out, I know a girl and I think you might like her.” Seth tried convincing him but Cody had his hands on his hips shaking his head “Seth you know for a fact I don’t like random girls that You even just met at parties” Seth shook his head “She’s one of my friends actually, pretty hot to be honest, Blonde..for now, only issue is that she had a very big and loud mouth, Just trust me.” Cody crossed his arms “show me what she look like.” Seth shook his head “Just trust me on this one bro.” Cody sighed and gave in nodding in agreement.

Meanwhile Milena was in a kitchen grabbing herself a drink and pushed some random guy away when he tried offering a ‘better time’ Seth was walking around the house pushing past people while Cody followed behind him, The house was practically blasting with music made by Usher, LMFAO!, Nicki Minaj, Kesha, every single popular artist during this time. Milena pulled out her flip phone just about to text Seth but he found her immediately “Mills! There you fuckin’ are thought you totally ditched me.” He laughed pulling her into a hug while she smiled “Seth you know I could never turn down a party c’mon now.” She saw Cody & immediately recognized him from WWE and also mainly Seth but didn’t really freak out, she held out her hand smiling “Sorry, must be pretty rude of me to not introduce myself, I’m Milena.” He nodded before giving her a charming and DASHING smile showing off his pearly whites while shaking her hand “No problem, I’m Cody, heard a lot of things about you from Seth.” She smiled tilting her head “As for you as-well.”

From that very moment Cody knew he only wanted her, he liked the way she held herself as a woman, spoke with such confidence as well as had confidence for herself, he liked how she could hander her liquor, sort of, but he also liked how she would run her mouth when needed, Seth may be a dumbass but goddamn does he know how to match make. For weeks Cody & Mills would go out to the Santa Monica pier, he discovered her favorite food was a California Burrito & even found out she was Latina, he was so enthralled with her that he started panicking to Seth before any wwe match. Milena & Cody were inseparable and definitely ‘active’ before even dating.

On multiple occasions Cody & Milena would wake up together either hung over or flat out naked in bed.

Things between them got serious in July 2010 that Milena even lived with him in Georgia, he even trained her on how to wrestle and that’s how she ended up in WWE, She was always by his side, always going to parties together, media events, you name it, they were absolutely in love with each other, on many occasions friends came over and he would show her off like an award & talk about how it’s a privilege to be with Mills. They loved spending every moment of their days with each other, On their first valentines day that’s when Cody realized he would handle the cooking, Milena tried making dinner & almost burnt the condo on fire and later cried in the kitchen in his arms over it “I can’t believe I ruined our first valentines day.” and he would just chuckle and press a kiss on her head.

December 2015 was the end of their relationship, Cody was out on the road for awhile while Milena was the same but the moment they first saw each other they had a deep discussion, Cody didn’t want to hold her back from any success in her life & he definitely didn’t want her to be alone waiting for him to come home some days, so, he put the relationship to an end, Milena put everything into her power to not show any emotion, in-fact she even acted like it was a good idea, But really whenever she was alone especially after moving out of the apartment she cried & sobbed while Cody was doing the same. Eventually Milena had resigned from WWE and went onto AEW so she wouldn’t have to see Cody anymore during her healing process.

At some point he had to distract his mind from her and that’s how his hookups with Bianca started. Seth was supportive of both Cody & Milena & deep down he knew something would bring them back together, if he sat 2024 Seth down with himself from 2010 and told his old self Cody & Milena were expected a baby he would immediately say “I fucking knew it.”

Present Time

July 6th 2024

Milena was 4 months pregnant & getting ready to have her gender reveal with Cody for tomorrow, She sat in their shared room staring at her old photos from years ago she & cody printed out and even looked at their wedding pictures & wiped away whatever tear fell from her face while her thumb stroked past her face in a picture before she set the photo album down and sighed staring at her baby bump smiling a bit but felt sudden fear when she heard a loud thud following with a very obnoxious “BAAABEE?” From the nursery Cody would work on. Milena furrowed her eyebrows and walked into the nursery with a hand planted against her stomach while Cody sat on the ground holding his elbow “I uhm..fell on my elbow. & I think we should probably go to the hospital.” She sighed and helped him get up but still with a smile on her face.

A few hours later they came back home with Cody wearing an arm sling & held her hand with his free one before stopping in front of the front door “I’m so lucky to have you baby.” She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair “I’m so lucky to be your wife.” He smiled and held the door open for her before going inside & calling it a night, By the next day Milena woke up & Rhea was already in the backyard with Seth & Jey setting up for the gender reveal party & She sat up and got out of bed to use the restroom only to see her husband with Brunette hair & let out a light gasp he turned around & smiled “Y’like it? Seth colored it for me earlier.” Milena smiled and ran her hands through his arm “You look amazing baby, how’s your arm?” He sighed and shrugged “Can’t be in the ring for 3 weeks but I should be fine afterwards.” She hummed before walking into the closet and getting changed into one of her summer dresses that Cody got her.

“You excited for today sweetheart?” He called out while she smiled “Of course I am, I’m also excited for the moment where it’s time to push this baby out.” Cody furrowed his brows and went over to her “Why do you say that baby?” She shrugged and just smoothed out her dress “Just- I dunno I just don’t feel like I’m as pretty now as I was years ago, ‘m not as beautiful as I used to be.” Cody’s heart almost broke when she said those things about herself & went over to hold her face “I don’t wanna hear you say that ever again understand? You’re the most drop dead gorgeous woman on this goddamn earth & You look absolutely fucking gorgeous carrying our baby Mills, I don’t wanna hear that kind of talk ever again.” Milena looked up at him and felt her chin quivering a little bit before nodding and flopping her head against his chest & just started crying. He rubbed her back and muttered how beautiful she was, eventually she got herself together and kissed him “You make me feel young all over again.” He smiled and caressed her cheek “Let’s make our way outside baby c’mon.” She nodded in agreement while he guided her downstairs into the backyard where all of their family & friends were.

Absolutely everyone was excited for Baby rhodes, Seth & Rhea had a microphone set up and Seth immediately started talking which had everyone recording and listen “I just wanted to say really quick that uh- I’m basically the reason why you were even created, no i’m joking but, I am the reason why Your parents are having you, Your mother Milena is a goddamn badass first of all, so is your dad Cody I guess” he laughed into the mic & cleared his throat “I don’t really do emotional speeches or anything but, I really do admire the relationship Cody & Milena have, I haven’t seen anyone in love with each other as much as them & honestly if I told myself from 13 years ago that these two would get married and have kids one day, I would believe it, I mean I am the ultimate wingman, seriously, Cody man I’m so happy for you and I will be teaching that child to make their first word “Uncle Seth” but in all seriousness, I’ve watched those two go through extremely rocky moments over the years, seen em’ yell, cry, DEFINITELY make out but I definitely have to be the best wing man in the world because they found each other again, had the worst fights ever and managed to marry each other & now expect a baby, anyways I think that child is for sure gonna be a boy, but then again I could be wrong, Rhea Take it away.”

Milena smiled & held Cody’s arm while Rhea handed out confetti poppers where the color of the confetti revealed the gender, Milena & Cody shared one while Rhea went up “Today I was given the honor to announce the gender of Milena & Cody’s baby but firstly i would like to address that I won a 1000 dollars in a bet on whether Milena would get pregnant or not and i’m about to win a 1000 more by this reveal, I betted another 1000 on whether the baby was a girl or a boy, I wont say which I betted on but all I have to say is Seth give me your wallet.” Everyone laughed and got ready “Alright, on a count of three you guys are gonna pop the confetti & I will announce the gender alright?? 1..2..3!” Everyone popped their confetti poppers as Rhea announced it was a Girl, Cody threw the popper out of Mills hands and picked her up with his non injured arm very excited with this reveal, Jey & Roman jumped around with each other while Seth pulled out multiple 100 dollar bills from his wallet and gave it to Rhea, “We’re having a babygirl!” Cody yelled out before kissing Milena while she laughed, for the rest of the day everyone talked, Shared stories of Mills & Cody & even gave gifts.

Milena sat in the kitchen with Liv & Rhea while Cody & the guys were outside, Mills sat on a stool near the countertop looking out of the window smiling softly as she stared at her husband with complete adoration until Liv snapped her out of her zoned out moment “I’ve never seen a couple so addicted to each other like You & Cody.” She sighed out while Rhea chuckled drinking some orange juice while Milena smiled “Dunno why but him going back to brunette really makes me wann-“ Rhea shoved a cookie in Mills mouth “Don’t even wanna know what was gonna finish that sentence.” Mill smiled innocently before eating the cookie and getting up to go back outside, she smiled at Cody and clasped her hands around his shoulder and neck before pressing her lips against his, he let out a short groan and kissed her back before running his hand through her hair giving it a light tug & pulling away “You feeling okay baby?” She nodded at his question and messed around with his T Shirt “I just really missed your brown hair.” He chuckled and gave her one more kiss before pressing a kiss into her hand and against her wrist. “My love for you is bigger than the universe.”

🏷️ list: @ginswife @coolpastelartshoe @greatkoalawizard @cokolin044 @kotoriarlert @alicerosejensen @bunnybot55 @agent-dessis-posts @adollonyourshelf @valkyrurr @alyyaanna @niknakbucks92 @mini-rhodes @southerngirl41

xtripleiiix’s Masterlist

[abeinginsand]

Glenn close ?

Heya Aether and thank you for the ask! Love Glenn so much <3 Here's the bingo :)

Twirling Glenn around in my hands and kicking my feet very excitedly. All time fave character of dndads (with Sparrow right behind him of course)! <3

I am always and forever attached to characters who bring the comic relief but of course Glenn is so much more than a silly guy! His whole story and relationship with his son really resonates with me. Sometimes this can be heartwarming and other times heart breaking (looking at the trial and his imprisonment...where once again he's all alone).

I have a similar friendship dynamic with my mom and well both my parents were busy working parents too. Not the extent where they were gone for months but like we only interacted at night/early morning or on the weekend due to long shifts. That kinda stuff which was pretty lonely at times though I understood. I feel for Nick/Nicky very much! I think ultimately Glenn was never given much outside support and it would have helped a lot with the whole situation. He had to practically raise himself with how much Bill was gone too :/ If he was around, it was to maybe spend time with his kid, but most likely rope him into a scheme. Yes, I am a Bill hater and hope he, willy, and Barry/Beary are defeated again this season (if they all appear anyways). Not really interested in redeeming any of them but if it happens, its happens...I suppose. As a related note, Bill and Glenn were described in one of the teen talks like two acquaintances as opposed to friends. Glenn and Bill both cared about their sons, but Glenn cared more (tried harder even when he didn't know what a good dad was like). I know there wasn't that much info on their past but this is my interpretation with what was given. It was Glenn against the world for a long time and I think Morgan really brought a lot of light into his life and of course their son did too. And then both get ripped away from him...screaming crying throwing up...thinking about close-foster-swift family too hard [explodes]. At least he's having a fun time in Hell with his loved ones (and annoying brother) now, happy for him :] Anyways being open is hard at times, its a lot easier to hide under the silliness or nonchalance. His problems with emotional vulnerability and avoidance etc make him feel very real. And and...he loves music, has a passion for Christmas, being mischievous, and conspiracy theories (among other interests). I like Christmas time a lot myself, not religious, but I like the general vibe, fun fashion (ugly sweaters my beloved <3), and seeing all the decorations haha. Hmm, last thing in mind, Glenn is a big softie which is very sweet! Cares a lot for his family and friends even if he struggles to show that sometimes. Canon stuff, I know he's technically an 'uncle'? in canon but closing my eyes and always referring to him as Nicky's dad anyway (and as Taylor's granddad too).

[silverstcrs]

open || { @woodshorestarters​ }

Nicolas let out at a sigh as he glanced around the furniture store.  This was going to take forever.  “Ugh why couldn’t the apartment already come completely furnished,” he grumbled.  He was already debating how badly he would need certain items of furniture.  The kitchen had an island so that could work for a table.  It’s not like he was anticipating any guests.  He probably should get a proper bed and a chair or couch for the living room, at the very least he needed to be comfortable.

[nxtesinthemargin]

tag dump

[non-un-topo]

💔👀🦅🎶🎢🥺 !!!

Apple, thank you love! <333

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

Oh boy, well I did a number with Dahlia back in the day. Haven't written angst quite like that in a while and I still feel the urge to write a happy kid fic as an apology. My brother spits blood. hurt in a different way, with all the Booker & Nicky brotherly feelings.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

Ohhh okie. I have greatly missed writing weird mysterious horror-themed fics but I get shy, so I've tried not to pull my punches this time and just have fun. I can tell you that it will take place in Iceland, in the early 17th century and will address a significant point in the lives of the guard---rather, who is left of it. It will be Nicky's pov (for reasons I cannot yet say other than it having something to do with centrality and steadfastness in the group dynamic---okay I just explained it lol), and I'm hoping to put more horror elements into this one too (Nicky + horror is my special tea). For this fic I'm really exploring liminal space, daylight horror (w the midnight sun), renewal, the sense of being adrift and the urge to keep everything and everyone together. So, uhh. Angst. I'll say one more thing just because: There is an inciting incident that occurs before the plot begins. It's what ends up convincing them to take a break from their search for Quynh and settle on solid ground. It's also why I'm writing it in Nicky's pov and why he has this pervasive sense of losing his footing, or being sent adrift. 👀👀

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

I outline like a beast. Usually I prefer to have the entire plot from start to finish outlined in bullet points before I start properly writing.

For my current wip I have three different documents and then the fic itself. Are the three documents comprehensible? Do they make sense? Are they more than just random philosophical thoughts and ideas and scattered research notes? Nah. But they get more organized with each new document lol. Sometimes, though, when the writing bug hits I just write a whole oneshot without planning too much.

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I do!! I have very specific songs for very specific moods. Sometimes soundtracks, sometimes opera or classical music, sometimes like... weird medieval music. For my current wip I've been listening to three main songs that encapsulate the whole vibe of the fic: Your Bones by OMAM, Familiar by Agnes Obel, and Caesar by The Oh Hellos.

I tend to listen to the same artists over and over, or sort of atmospheric instrumental stuff. I found this yesterday and it's really gotten me in the writing spirit!

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Honestly, Dying of the Light was a pretty insane experience, both in terms of writing and just its plot. I had thousands of words written, then scrapped almost all of it and re-wrote almost the whole thing in one sitting. I was up at 4am when I wrote the goat scene and I think I finished around 6. All its wild trippy moments come from the fact that I was literally losing my mind a bit at the time lol. Bad life circumstances, but it ended up being one of the fics I'm most proud of.

But in terms of plot only, I think Tangerine and Roc was kind of wild. It has a lot going on thematically and plot-wise, and has a longer word count.

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

I don't have a knack for fluff, but I think I might have a soft spot for that sort of casual, close and familiar family dynamic? Like I hadn't realized how many moments I'd written in which one of the queer quartet members is doing another one's hair until I read them all back lol.

Casual intimacy and platonic touches really get me in my feels. Specifically Andy's affection for any of the other characters (back of the neck touch my beloved). Dancing makes me feel insane, I love it and need to write more of it. Same with platonic cuddles. I definitely have a soft spot for pals sitting around a fire and drinking/dancing/laughing. Makes me feel alive <3 Like: Yes, that's family.

[another-rational-deception]

Hello! Could you wire jirou with a girlfriend who’s super burnt out from school and homework and stuff? I’ve been strugglin this week 😅

man ive been feeling the same way. i have a really high gpa but honestly thats done nothing but make me feel more pressured to keep it high. the burnout is hitting hard man, its hard to keep it up

D*rk content blogs, do not interact with me at all.

Jiro w/ burnt out fem s/o

Trust me, she gets the same way

The whole random burst of motivation, do everything, then want to do nothing but lay in bed and sleep for the next month? Yeah. She gets it.

But the thing that motivates her the most, even when she feels like doing nothing? Music.

She’s a rock kind of girl, but when she’s really deep in it she has no shame in turning up the 2010’s pop music and pushing through it to those beats

This is the only time you will find her jamming to Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj

This being said, she encourages the same remedy for you.

If she has to haul her speakers into your room and start your homework for you, she will.

Jirou has no qualms about doing your work for you. She wants you to at least look at it when she’s done with it, or put in at least a few sentences, but she understands that you can’t do all of it.

Jirou will dedicate one of your free days to finishing schoolwork. As tiring as that sounds, she makes it bearable.

She blasts music, tells jokes, and i between conversations, she helps you finish the work. It doesn’t even feel like you’re actually doing work, it just feels like a spur of the moment date.

Study dates become common during these burnouts. She wants you to stay ahead, she wants to see you succeed. If that means study dates, jirou is more than happy to help.

Or if that means cuddling under the covers and holding gentle conversation, or watching a movie, she’s okay with that too.

[softxhariana]

34+35 live stream

description: ariana’s live stream before debut of 34+35 remix music video.

word count: 2.22k

A/N: little piece based off this live stream that ariana did in the countdown to her releasing the 34+35 remix music video with doja and megan. obvs not included every question but just a few fun bits and harry mentions for you x

also disclaimer, this is NOT real, if u don't wanna read about these two then don't, i’m not tryna act like they’re together it is fiction.

❤ anywayz hope u enjoy luvs xox

❖   "HELLO EVERYONE! thank u for coming to this premier,” ariana smiled sweetly at the camera, as the video cut to a shot of her for the beginning of the countdown.

“we had so much fun making this 34+35 remix video for you, and uhh, we hope you love it.” she continued, playing with her hair. no matter how long she did this for she swore she would never cease to get slightly nervous in these situations. where it was her alone, in front of a camera. but her fans made her feel at ease, and she felt she owed them something, as she hadn’t done many quarantine interviews like other celebs have.

“i thought i would come celebrate and join the countdown with you guys. which is something that I've never done before, but i’m very happy to be here and i was very excited to get some questions from you all...” she held up the sheets of twitter questions she had received, “um that i’m gonna be answering while i’m here so, i cant wait to celebrate this together and countdown and answer some of your questions!” she finished with a smile.

and it was genuine. a real smile that her fans were thrilled to see.

ariana was genuinely so happy and content with her life right now. with her family, her music, her friends, harry. harry her FIANCE!! might she add.

everything just felt perfect, and after all the shit the last couple years had thrown her way, she appreciated the break.

 she got her love back, she was making music that she fully loved, and put her whole soul into, and she had fans who had stuck with her and supported her through some of the darkest times in her life, that were now able to experience her happiness and personal growth with her. so truly, little things like this, felt like the least she could do for them.

“ohh this is a good one because its 34 35 related” she tucked her hair behind her ears, “@noirgrande said ‘ummm its just i wanna the end of 34+35 is it awww shit or nooo shit, i just wanna sing the song right”

“umm it is indeed no shit” she confirmed, smiling matter of factly at the camera before reciting the closing line of the song.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“@arianalocks1223 said ‘will we get to see the track list before the songs release?’” she paused for a second to process - which turned into a few more seconds, she was a bit slow today. she had told harry with full sincerity that she thought it was because she was getting old but he had just cracked up at her absurd statement, and told her that if that was the case he’d still think she was a milf

“you will!” she nodded with certainty, “indeed. ummm... i can tell you them now” she blurted, oops.

“i suppose thats not like... is that against the rules? can i do that?” she turned, to question scooter who was supervising off camera, not wanting to get her label mad at her for releasing too much information, something she has a tendency to do. 

after getting the nod of reassurance from him she turned back to the camera, “so out of ‘POV’, you go into, um, an interlude called ‘someone like u’. after that is a song called ‘test drive’, after that is the 34/35 remix with doja and meg” she smiles lightly, “and after that is a song called ‘worst behaviour’, and after worst behaviour is... a song called ‘main thing’...” she finishes, a shy smirk forming on her face, dimples appearing, “so that’s the tracks.” 

continuing with the countdown, ariana felt her heart warm at the love her fans were giving her and this album. she loved interacting with them and making them happy and proud of her so knowing she had done just that, was an amazing feeling.

“umm hesbloodsline... @hesbloodsline ... i’m really fond of this question because its really to the point, ‘where's the pig and where the fuck is harry?’” she smiled, holding in a laugh.

“piggy’s here, she's great, she's really doing so well and life is really good for her right now, she's really thriving and doing her thing” she ranted, a hint of sarcasm in her voice, “um, i make her big salads everyday that she likes, she's doing really great. she asked me to stop posting her as much because she's actually really offended by a lot of your jokes that you make on twitter, she asked me to have a word with you guys” she continued to joke, well aware that she probably found herself more funny than anyone else did right now.

“she doesn't like the jokes about being eaten, they really hurt her, umm yeh, and she asked me to convey that... no she’s great...” she finally decided to answer, “and harry, is on set today, so um, yeh thats where he is... but don't worry i will tell him to keep you in the loop, i’ve got you” 

ariana unconsciously let a small smile take over her glossed lips when talking about harry. he had been so excited about this new project and seeing him passionate and happy about anything he’s doing, always made her happiest.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“nicole! @nastyctrl. nicole said ‘who helped come up with the concept for the positions music video, love u sm ari’ love you so much to, i love you so much more” she paused, she loved this story,

“um this is actually a really funny story, dave and i had been going back and forth on several different concepts, and i couldn't, like... marry one... i couldn't really, like, really commit to one, i wasn't 100% sold. and it was missing a certain element of empowerment. and i kept, you know, trying to think of things that would make it more impactful cause i wasn't loving what we had...”

“anddd then me and harry were on this huge hike, and he just turned to me and was like, ‘what if you were the president?’ which was like, not at all fitting cause i was dying and complaining the whole time. but i was like,” she tried to imitate a shocked face through her smile and laughed 

“and when i called dave he was like ‘oh... kay, ill call you guys back’ and had the whole production team redo everything, and i had mimi pull completely different outfits and we completely started over cause that idea was what i was, craving and missing. and i was like, wow, thats so perfect” she smiled, shrugging her shoulders, “so yeh, honorary directing credit to harry styles, if you liked that”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“this is from @borderlinevinyl, who said ‘how much of the album was recorded at your little home studio?’ ummm..” she sang, looking off camera in thought, everything in quarantine had honestly just blurred into one so she was struggling to remember what exactly she recorded where,

“um... a lot of it was... i think i did parts of everything here and parts of things at tommy's i know i did, um, the final chorus ad-libs for positions at home” she began listing in her head, “i know i did all of off the table at home... i know i did the final chorus of my hair at home because we- i-” oops. she had to control the laugh threatening to leave her lips at the lack of subtlety in her correction

“-i got out of the shower and he was like ‘oh your whistles are really here right now’, and i was like y’know what... yeahh they are aren’t they” she laughed as she squinted her eyes and recited that part of the conversation, even trying to imitate his deeper accent.

she had been singing in the shower - as she always did - and harry joining her never seemed to stop her from belting out any whitney or old one direction classic she wanted to. he would even join in sometimes and they'd end up with their own mini concert, dancing around naked, shampoo and conditioner bottles in hand singing their hearts out to everything from high school musical to nicki minaj to fleetwood mac.

while it felt like too bold of statement to make as she truly revelled in and enjoyed everything they did together, showering with him was truly one of her favourite’s. whether it was steamy shower sex that had all glass surfaces in the room fogging up or letting loose and dancing and singing under the pouring water, every moment felt so intimate and sacred. it truly made her feel like they were they only people in the world. 

of course he would claim she was out singing him every time she whistled and would jokingly try to replicate the note but he was truly just in awe off the sounds that came from her mouth (in all senses of the word;)

"-and so i opened ‘my hair’ and just randomly did that” she continued, “um what else did i do here, i did the a lot of the backgrounds and ad-libs for 34+35 here, um, obvious was done at home, a lot of six-thirty was done at home”

caught in her own thoughts she only realised she had probably been droning on for too long when she caught scooters eye across the room and with a blush she shook her head as if to clear it, “this is an annoying answer, everything was kind of all over the place but i did a lot, a lot, a lot of the vocals for the album at the house" she finally finished the long answer, moving on quickly as she realised she didn't have long until the premiere and she wanted to answer as many of the questions as possible.

“ok, second last question from hannah, ever- @everdxystxless, im sorry i don't know how to pronounce that” she laughs looking up at the camera with wide eyes, not sure how exactly how she was supposed to go about pronouncing the username, 

“im sorry, um, but anyway she say’s ‘ari baby, how do you feel about harry getting to do a movie with florence pugh, we know your a big fan of hers, ps. i love you so much!’ well hannah, i love you too” she replies, as she thinks back to when harry first introduced the two, after she had gotten over the initial fangirling, the pair became amazing friends. florence struck ariana as such a genuine, loving person and they shared the same dry sense of humour. plus ariana might of been just a little obsessed with her accent - not that she would ever admit that and scare the girl off.

“and... um, yeah, it literally, made me beyond happy, i was fully like, fangirling when i met her the first time” she laughs as she plays with her hair, “she honestly, probably was like, ‘who the fuck is this girl? what is she doing?’”ariana imitated, a faux scared/weirded out look on her face, playing the part of a mildly pissed off florence - which she luckily had never been on the receiving end of, “im sure i was being the opposite of subtle about it but, no, she really truly is the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful, talented human being” she emphasises, the thought of any news outlets of fan’s trying to spin a ‘jealousy’ story about this making her internally role her eyes,

“midsommar is, like, one of my all time favourite movies, and she's amazing in it, and harry’s like so fucking lucky its crazy. so yeah, thats insane”

~~~~~~~~~

"...so yeah... thank you so much! this was so much fun!” ariana exclaimed as she wrapped up the Q&A, smiling wide at the camera, she knew her fans were going to love the music video and she couldn't wait for them to watch it, plus interacting with them in this way always made her happy.

“i love you guys, i miss you” she reminded, “i am so appreciative of everything you've done for this album, for these singles, for this music. i hope that, um, that this makes you super happy, i hope it makes you smile...we had so much fun shooting it and um, the girls are so fantastic, so i hope you love this and i hope you love the deluxe!” 

ariana didn't know how many more ways she could say thank you and express her gratitude but she still had over a minute and a half so she’d have to come up with something, even if it meant she’d sound like a broken record

“i am so thankful for everything and for the love that you've shown this music i cant even begin to articulate it properly so, thank you! i appreciate it so much” she breathed out all in one, “but anyway, the video should be starting soon, so... i hope you like it, don't refresh! it’ll be here soon... i promise... just don't refresh” she urged dramatically, she was really dragging this out, “but yeh” she got out through laughs “the video should be starting anytime now, i love you guys” she blew a kiss to the camera before moving as close to the lens as possible “byee”.

🖤 there u go!! i hope you liked it, and any feedback would always always be welcomed and so so appreciated pls and thanku x 

[oldguardhc]

Old Guard hc #36

Prompt number: 2 - “That’s the easy part?”

Fandom: The Old Guard

Rating: PG-13

Warnings/Tags: joe x nicky, fluff

“That’s the easy part?” Nicky asked, mug raised halfway to his lips. Maybe he heard wrong, he hadn’t even finished his fourth cup of coffee yet. Sleep was still threatening to drag him back into its warm embrace and if Nicky didn’t finish this cup soon, he was going to be flinging himself into those arms again.

God, he was so tired. It was 10 a.m. and he was awake.

Nile frowned, her eyebrows drawing in. “You just have to spend the whole day with Joe. Then you bring him back when I text you!” He definitely heard her correctly the first time then. Nicky rubbed a tired hand over his face. Nile made some hand-waving motions in front of him, “What? I thought you’d be glad to be with Joe!”

“I am happy that I will spend the day with Joe,” Nicky responded and took a sip from his mug. The coffee was getting cold, edging towards lukewarm rather than hot. Nicky quickly finished the rest before it became unpalatable and licked his lips before continuing. “The only problem is Joe will know something is up.”

Nile grabbed the coffee pot and topped his mug with fresh, hot, delicious coffee before placing it back in the coffee machine. He hummed in gratitude, cradling the warm mug in his hands. “How could he possibly know something is up? There is nothing significant about this day as far as Joe is concerned.”

Nicky lifted his chin in concession. “That may be, but my Joe is not stupid. He’ll quickly catch on that I’m trying to stall him.”

“You’re telling me that you can’t act normal for one day?” Nicky raised an eyebrow and Nile huffed. “You know what I mean.” He did know what she meant. That didn’t make teasing her any less fun.

“We’ve been together for over 900 years, Nile. That man could probably tell you how many strands of hair I have on my head. He definitely knows when I’m purposely distracting someone.” This was putting aside the fact that half the tricks Nicky used all came from Joe. Joe had a gift for interacting and understanding people. It was something that used to infuriate Nicky. Here was this man who Nicky barely tolerated but made everyone he met practically fawn all over themselves for him.

“Come on, Nicky. Take him to the movies, a museum, the mall. Hell, have a quickie in the parking lot! Just distract him for a couple hours.” There was a desperate gleam in Nile’s eyes and Nicky sighed, hating himself just a tiny bit for being such a sucker. She definitely learned how to do that face from Joe.

Nicky took several gulps from his mug just to be an ass and make her believe that he was still pondering her request. He couldn’t let her think that he was that easily persuaded. At least, not yet. She’ll have plenty of time to learn just how easy he was for the people he loved. “Fine.” Nile let out a victorious crow, clapping her hands together and bouncing on her toes. “Yeah, yeah,” Nicky grumbled, noisily slurping his coffee.

“Alright, get your man out of the house. I’ll text you when to come back!”

Nicky protested as he was pushed out of the kitchen and into the hallway, slumping as he came face to face with his closed bedroom door where his other half remained sound asleep. Releasing a deep sigh, Nicky scratched the back of his head to buy himself a couple more seconds. He really didn’t know how he was going to keep Joe out of the house. It would’ve been so much easier if he had to keep Joe in, he thought wistfully.

Fearing that Nile would come and check in on him any second now, Nicky opened the door. As expected, Joe was still asleep, half covered by the down-comforter, head resting on two pillows, one arm hugging Pedro to his chest. Even 900 years later, Nicky stood in the doorway, frozen and completely helpless to the way his heart started to flutter with the amount of affection he held for this man.

It didn’t take long for Joe’s instincts to kick in. Sensing another presence, Joe stretched out on the bed, slow to blink the sleep out of his eyes. “Nicolò?” His voice was sleep-warm, slightly raspy and elongated vowels. It was music to Nicky’s ears. Nicky placed his mug on the nightstand and crawled into bed next to Joe. Still, Joe shuffled in closer until the only thing between them was Pedro. “What time is it?”

“10,” Nicky answered and Joe groaned, burying his face into the crook of Nicky’s neck. Nicky didn’t think they would have lasted as long as they did if one of them was an early riser. He brought a hand up to bury in the tight curls, using his fingernails to gently scratch at Joe’s scalp.

“Want to go get that new set of oil pastels today?” Nicky asked after several minutes of peace. Joe shook his head. “We can’t stay in here the whole day.” Joe let out a confused whine. “Because-because it’s rude to stay in bed all day. We have to at least last another year before Nile figures us out.” Joe didn’t move for a couple beats. Nicky was starting to feel the beginnings of a cold sweat when Joe finally sighed, nuzzling into his neck a little more before rolling away with a grumble.

Nicky had to resist the urge to close his eyes and sigh. So far, so good.

—

Okay, so maybe he was too optimistic. It took Joe 30 minutes for him to realize that something was up. Nicky had to beg him to play along, promising the new oil pastels and himself as a live model for the whole afternoon. It was an amazing deal and Joe knew it. The only time Nicky was still was in his sleep, on a mission and when reading a book. Having a whole afternoon to draw Nicky in whatever position and scenery? Truly a once in a lifetime offer.

By the time Nicky got the okay from Nile, he was beyond exhausted. Sitting in one position and being admired was hard work. But a deal was a deal and so Nicky had remained in whatever position Joe had arranged him in without a protest, sinking into that headspace he only ever used during missions.

“This surprise must be really good for you to have modeled the whole day,” Joe said, tangling their fingers over the center console. Nicky squeezed his hand, not taking his eyes off the blurred trees outside. They were almost home. He could keep the secret for a little longer. He just had to keep his mouth shut and it would still be a surprise. Sort of. Did it count as a surprise if the person knew that there was a surprise but didn’t know what the surprise was? Nicky decided that yes, it was still a surprise. The actual surprise was still unknown even if the entire event wasn’t.

“I hope you realize how nice I was today. I could’ve made you spill before we even got to the art supply store.” That was a bait. It was a bait. Nicky was confident that there were even studies about this kind of bait. Even with that knowledge, Nicky had to bite his tongue to remain silent, focusing on the sharp pain. “Fine, keep quiet. Don’t think there won’t be payback for keeping me in the dark.” It was a weak threat since Joe brought their joined hands to his lips not a second later.

It took 15 minutes to get home. It was the longest 15 minutes of Nicky’s life. He swore that entire generations lived and died in those 15 minutes. He had endured torture that felt shorter than those 15 minutes.

As soon as the car was put in park, Nicky hopped out of the car and ran to the other side to open the door for Joe. “Come,” Nicky said, extending his hand.

“Now you want me to pay attention to you,” Joe teased but took his hand with a fond smile. With Joe’s hand in a tight grip, Nicky led him inside the house and into the dark living room.

“Uhh, I’m a little confused-“ Joe started.

The lights flicked on.

“SURPRISE!” Nile yelled, followed by Andy and Booker’s weaker attempt. Nicky wouldn’t be surprised if they had spent the whole day practicing and this was their best one yet.

Joe frowned and turned to Nicky, looking utterly adorable with that little furrow and pout. “I’m still confused.”

It was Nicky’s turn to smile and bring their joined hands to his lips. “This was Nile’s idea,” he said, as if that explained everything.

Nile clapped her hands together, drawing their attention back to her. “Remember when we were talking about birthdays?” Joe slowly nodded. “Right! Well, you said you never had a birthday party. So…” She motioned to the balloons taped to every piece of furniture in the living room, the dozens of party streamers, the platters of food on the dining room table.

“It’s not my birthday,” Joe said, still confused.

“Do you even know your birthday?” Nile asked and Joe slowly shook his head. “Exactly. So there’s a .003% chance that today is your birthday and we are celebrating! We got presents, cake, balloons and your favorite foods!”

Joe opened and closed his mouth several times as he took everything in, rendered completely speechless for the first time in what had to be decades. Nicky squeezed his hand, a silent are you okay? It took a moment for Joe to respond yes, a watery smile tugging on his lips. “Thank you, Nile.” Joe sniffed and swallowed the lump that had swelled in his throat. “This is amazing.”  

Nile beamed, looking like sunshine personified. “You’re welcome,” she said. “Everyone deserves to have a birthday party.”

Joe turned to the other two occupants in the room. They were definitely a little tipsy already and Nicky couldn’t blame them. He probably would’ve drank too if he had to tie as many balloons as they did. It was going to take forever to clean all of this party stuff up. “Thank you to you two as well. I know Nile probably bullied you two into helping,” Joe said and Nile let out an indignant, “Hey!”. Both Andy and Booker rolled their eyes in tandem, reluctant smiles gracing their faces and really? They were able to get that down but not the surprise?

“We love you too,” Booker said, pulling out a flask from the inside of his jacket pocket. He took a sip and passed it to Andy.

Andy pointed to Booker with the flask. “What he said,” she said and tipped the flask into her mouth.

Joe tugged on his hand and Nicky turned to look at him, one eyebrow cocked. “Nile said presents. What’d you get me?”

Nicky couldn’t help the baffled laugh. “Who do you think bought you the oil pastels and modeled the whole afternoon?”

Joe’s cheeks dimpled with how wide he smiled. “That doesn’t count,” he declared, lightly clapping Nicky’s hand. “Come on,” he whined, “Present.”

There will be a day where Nicky will finally be able to resist that smile. Where he’ll be able to look at those dimples, the small wrinkles at the corners of those warm brown eyes and not fold faster than wet paper. Today wasn’t that day.

Nicky let out a deep sigh, pursing his lips in feigned annoyance as he reached into his pocket to pull out a small box. Joe snatched it out of his hand with a giddy whoop, tearing through the wrapping paper and throwing the lid to the floor. He pulled out a thick platinum ring, his eyes gleaming similar to what Nicky had always imagined a dragon looking at its treasure would look like.

Joe twisted the ring to look at the inside. “My everything,” Joe read aloud and Nicky wrapped his arms around him.

“Happy birthday, amore.”

[forbidding-souda]

About Mod Souda

You guys should talk to me in the ask box more smh you guys are fun

Like just tell me about your day but I won’t guarantee that like 1000% I’ll respond but I’ll read them all.... efkjlwdbsc or or ask me questions or something idk I like talking

1500 followers face reveal when (shocked emoji) /srs

Anyways here’s some things about me because I never really introduced myself (since this is my account and why would I do an introduction)

THIS IS LITERALLY MY LIFE STORY GOODBYE BAHSBAH

-Mod Souda 

Hi I am Mod Souda and I go by he/him ofc ofc I am a gay man.

Uhh I am an a native amercan mixed kid AND an Aquarius ugh I’m so unique right. I was raised by a raver and a metalhead skater in Vegas. I’ve been in the pit since I was 4 years old (specifically at a Primus concert LMAO).

The first fandom I was in was Creepypasta, and I was about 8 years old. It’s funny because the first musician I ever actively liked was Madame Macabre. 

As a child (like 7-11) I mainly listened to Vocaloid, Madame Macabre, and Nicki Minaj.

When Avengers came out I was still in elementary school. And .. Loki... wrjhfbwejdhb bro!! gay awakening!! holy shit. I was in love with him but I didn’t want to admit it smh shhh.

The first anime I ever watched was Black Butler. I was IN LOVE with Joker from Book of Circus ehbwdjqshdfb. The last episode of that season ended the day I moved to California. I remember crying bc of the last scene inside of the moving truck.

I also got into Fairy Tail a lot. Also tragic. I had the hugest crush on Gajeel Redfox mmmmmemdwkgsnekfdjsglkvcx

I live in the Bay Area, and grew up in the same house, compared to living in Vegas where I moved every two years. There are ... so many poc here ... and in vegas I was in a class with all white people. Being around so many poc was so like ?? fun ?? idk how to describe it but it feels like how life should feel like; not stressful at all.

I started listening to goth music when I was 12 because I was in the Mr. Creepypasta amino and somebody was like “you guys should join the goth amino” and I was like oh that sounds so fun !!! Boom... goth Mod Souda arrived.

I was all about Sopor Aeternus and Switchblade Symphony. 

I discovered my lifelong favorite artist in like 2016. It was because I was making playlist for my Fairy Tail oc (tragic) and I added this song I got off of a “Creepypasta Theme Songs” and it was Bernadette by IAMX (which was assigned to Laughing Jack). And I listened to the song and was like meh this is cool. Then one day I played the playlist and it just.... hit different. LMAO I was like waiitittttititit. The next day, on the way to the airport, I downloaded all 7 (at the time) of his albums and listened to them the whole way. I’ve seen him live too like mm chris corner I love you.

I got into DR in 2015 because of an edit of (anime) Syo and Junko to Pound the Alarm LOL. I was like “this looks cool” so I watched it on my phone while sitting on the couch all in one go. Spoilers but I cried the most when mondo and sakura died, fun fact. Life went down from there smh!! 

I really believed that I was dating Gundham Tanaka. Like everything in my life was Gundham Tanaka related like I was ... obsessed with him. And I coudln’t see art of him and sonia because it would make me have a breakdown bc I thought he was cheating on me PLZ BHDSABHJBAHAAHHA it’s funny because I kin sonia now and I’m in love with her.

This was the same year where I ???? got bruises on my eardrums somehow (I asked my dad recently how I got them and he went uhh idk) ???? and I couldn’t hear anything for like three years plz. My hearing has gotten better but idk if my ear percentage is 100%/100% or if I’m just grateful it isn’t what it is before LMAO so that’s when I started learning ASL.

This is also the same year where I got hospitalized for being a neurodevelopmental schizophrenic lol OOPS !

A funny story of me growing up with danganronpa is uhh when future arc was still airing ,,, Spoilers,, and the episode with Juzo passing aired,, I literally printed the frame of him talking to himself confessing his love and BROUGHT IT TO SCHOOL. I LIT A CANDLE FOR HIM TOO LIKE BYE

Freshman year of highschool I started dating an emo kid who brought his electric guitar to school. TRAGIC. We dated for like two years please what.

Sophomore year I started getting into metal and punk. This is mainly because I went to a Slayer concert. I was trying to branch out of my goth bubble and !!! metal really stuck with me. My favorite subgenre is goregrind. It’s mmm so good. Punk... was a miss. I absolutely hate punks. If anyone in the alternative community is reading this right now I’ll tell you this: the punks that I interacted with to learn more about the community were from OC .... goodbye

I still listen to Glass Street tho ^ they are hc/crossover and I really like their music omg I have their merch now plz HBSAJKH and I still like the patch pants / crusties I made so that’s cool. A lot of kids look up / glamorize me just because of my fashion but at least they give me clout ig ...

The year after that I downloaded Spotify for the first time. I was an apple music/youtube person (tragic). Uhh what else omg. I finally figured out that I was neurodevelopmental and that it affected my way of thinking and that ,, it wasn’t JUST because I am sch so that was an awakening.

Anyways now trying to get a minor in asl interpreting mmmm and trying to get a job SMH !! why is it so hard. I’m into DND now oo that’s new and I’m collecting the dice.

I started this blog in July 2020 when I was staying with my friend in a tent in New York for a couple of months. I forced her to watch despair arc (LOL) and now she’s a junko cosplayer so B^)

Metalhead anon and everyone else who’s been here for a long ass time make me SOOO happy like woah.. it’s been so long omg. I used to post fics three times a day like wtf the EFFORT (that was before school started lol oops my bad)

Since then I’ve got a boyfriend and a whole wave of danganronpa cosplayers who are my friends now. It’s really cool to talk to so many young people (sometimes) who are hella into like,, open conversations about gender and politics and whatnot. I’m used to talking to 20 year old goth people you know? 

Whenever I do something “cringey” (like if I want to do dr character impersonations or if I want to rant about how much I love this anime character or if I want to try out neopronouns) I’m like hmmmm I can go to the danganronpa cosplayers and I know they won’t judge me for this.

Anyways that’s it. It’s 22:50 where I am right now aaaanndd I go on this blog way more than I should LOL

[biaswreckingfics]

I GOT SO MUCH TO SAYYY!! gosh pls dont find me weird okay, and these are just my personal opinions and im not hating any groups!! but my unpopular opinion is: i think kpop has become very toxic after bts and bp got famous in America. And tbh if you ask me, i wouldnt want any other kpop groups to be famous in America... i only stan exo but i think i speak for all groups when i say they are safe as they are now... of course if exo ever get even more famous i will be happy and proud for their success. But look how fame and America has changed bts and bp... not tryna hate but look theyve changed, idk if anyone else noticed but after fame hits bts, i realised how theyve start to become very...white?? like they are so westernised and like example, they start focusing on America only, they even curse (not a lot but i’d still point out) casually like for example, jungkook singing a curse word in his cover song for jason derulo savage love i think (speaking of cursing, after nct127 got famous in usa mark started getting influenced by them too and he casually cursed like “oh fuck” and everyones like 😃😆) even i curse and im not saying cursing is BADD but yeah i am, and how they sing a whole song in english, not to even mention how toxic america is but in grammys they have sold tons of albums yet they didnt win anything but when they release an english song, they won.

Some half of them americans are very toxic, racist, and just theyre basically acid, like bruh, its evident that once bts got famous there are soooo much hate thrown towards bts too cuz theyre asians, or how some would say theyre gay or look like girls...if my favs (exo) ever get these kinds of treatments (not that they dint but veryy little cuz thank god they ain exposed to the western culture) i will B R E A K, i could never handle that so i would never want that to happen to them. Also noticed how, after bts got famous, most armys are equally as toxic, whether they are just stanning bts just cuz theyre famous there, or like how their fans dont even know anything abt bts and coming after so many groups and their fans. Most of them are fake and i think its cuz of the fame for bts lmao. One thing i’d like to say too tho, is how they are so overrated and their songs are played all the damn time, people would randomly talk abt them, like everywhere you go THEY ARE JUST THERE, like in my opinion if i am an army, i would just feel like they are so common and theres nothing special about them anymore and theres no excitement, like what even is the point anymore. idk if anyone gets me but thats just how i feel about my favs being “wOrLdWiDe fAmOuS”, i will love them and their music but its just something i think about tbh🤷🏻‍♀️ like let me listen to them on my own and vibe and love them, dont play it 24/7 just cuz they are famous and ure tryna get people’s attention, like imagine ure in the subway and u hear ur favs song cuz its EVERYWHERE and ure there like 😐😐 not that u dont love their music but its cuz horrible people dont deserves to listen to their songs, and like people arent going to appreciate them anyway so yeah i feel uncomfortable listening to my favs as others dont even bother, like imagine if that subway is filled with people who are in ur fandom, yall would just hv the best time in the world and VIBE, if not what even is the point. Idk if im explaining it properly, but its badically like, u feeling UNCOMFORTABLE or should i even say SELFISH cuz u do not want to be sharing ur favs with people who dont even deserve to KNOW about them. Basically like seeing how someone you HATE or bullied you back then talking and being all friendly fake with ur BESTEST FRIEND or even boyfriend/girlfriend, cuz u just want to protect them from EVIL (im so dramatic)

And well lastly, no Bts did not paved the way, or “bts is the best and only group” like no, so many amazing artists were breaking records way before bts was even a thing (no hate to bts) but they really need to get slap for having that mindset, they really make a bad image for bts...tbh kpop before was so peaceful (a little toxic but still, compared to now...BYE) and everything was just about idols and fans love, listening and supporting and loving their music and just so comforting... urgh anyway thats all i wanna say and here are some texts i saved relating to kpop groups going famous worldwide uwu

these are also examples, and honestly speaking here, i dont want to be specific as in “exo” cuz i think this happens for ALL the groups out there and the love and relationship between the idols and their fans (family) are just beautiful, but for bts and armys... tbh i feel bad because i just dont see or feel any love they hv for each other (sure we see bts saying i love you armys or armys supporting bts but with all the toxicity in their way, theres just no spark or chemistry or bond no more it’s basically like one direction and their fans and thats all they are, celebrity-fan, but for kpop its family), i can see other groups and their fans interacting or how idols would light up talking abt their fans, but for bts, theres just soooo much mess going on in their fandom its not special anymore, they lost the deep meaning of their group love and IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT but YEAH DJSHSKSJ OH and to add somethign else, they got famous in America, look at all the collabs🤡🤡 blackpink with cardi b, bts with nicki etc... not that collabs arent fun... im just saying these american artists... they dont exactly have a good reputation (americans singing about sex (not the good kind), money, girls and drugs) 🥴🥴 dont influenced my faves and let them be exposed to the toxic culture YALL GET ME?? KPOP HAS THE LETTER K FOR A REASON😭😭😭 let them be their own shining star, not everything has to be involved or a part of aMeRiCa to be amazing.... PHEW IVE SAID IT NOW BEFORE ANYONE GETS MAD AT ME, I DONT MEAN TO SOUND RUDE TO YOU, if youre an american and youre no where near being toxic, I LOVE YOU but im just saying, the western culture is toxic and im just saying what ive been observing and noticing🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️ ps: i still love exo till the max and everything about them is perfect and theyre just amazing people (everything i said that bts and armys dont really have anymore, i think thankfully, EXO (sorry im biased) most fandoms still have so much of the L O V E there and i find that extraordinary) and he fandom is so comforting and amazing and idk dkdjjdjss thats why i dont want them getting famous worldwide...sorry exols ANYWAY THATS ALL FOR MY RANT ITS 4AM AND I AM THINKING OF DELETING THIS💀💀💀 anywya sorry for taking up so much space but i just wanna say I FREKAING LOVE NO EXIT, NO LIMITS, basically all ur exo fics cuz why not🥺🥺 i think ur writing skills are amazing as well as the plots and all especially forsaken, and THANK YOU for two bbhxoc fics😭😭😭 i cant!!! also if u reached here idk i-🥲 i hope u didnt get mad or offended 👀

Reply under the cut!!

Kpop has become extremely toxic with the growth of international fans and the rise of 3rd/4th gen. I wasn't around to experience the previous generations, but I know damn well they weren't a mess like these newer ones are.

Gaining fame in America does seem to change idols, and idk why. The group members change and the music changes also. While I do enjoy hearing idols swear (guilty pleasure) and I am an American so I get to enjoy their English songs, I can see how it makes all the other cultures/countries feel some type of way.

I will say this, though, the Grammys are shit and I dont get why people care so much about them. They've proven time and time again the awards don't go to the best artists. However, this doesn't mean that I think BTS deserved a Grammy imo.

Americans are a very toxic and hate filled bunch (again, I am one, so I get to see this shit every day). I 100% know that some of the hate directed towards Asians is because of racism (as seen by the insane uptick in crime against Asian Americans right now) and because some see kpop male idols as too feminine.

BTS is literally everywhere, which is one of the reasons I stopped listening to them tbh. They'd be in commercials, on talk shows, late night shows, in magazines, on the radio, just everywhere. It took the joy out of watching anything from them just because they were always in my face, so I can see what you mean.

I feel like the relationship between BTS and army has changed (from an outsiders perspective). Its no longer about loving and supporting your group and being happy for them. Now, its "so-so wants this? We MUST do everything in our power and spam every possible thing ever so they get what they want". Its almost frightening. They also no longer care about the quality of the music being put out. Doesn't matter what it is, they stream the ever loving shit out of it and make it break records when, honestly, it doesn't deserve to (again imo).

Lastly, I didnt get mad or offended haha. I understand a lot of these viewpoints, and thank you so much for liking my work!! I do wonder what would happen if I made a true BBH centric fic and not just spin offs or continuations of previous works where oc ends up with BBH 🤔🤔 I think that fic would have too much power haha.

[alatismeni-theitsa]

How would you differentiate between positive and negative cultural appropriation, considering that it is a neutral term in the case of the Greek people?

continuing: (by positive cultural appropriation I refer to the natural exchange and mingling of cultures over time) _____________________________________________________

If I remember correctly, “cultural appropriation” actually refers to positive cultural exchange but it came to be used negatively in our days. I believe “cultural misappropriation” is the correct negative term. It seems that most of modern Greeks above the age of 30 are not aware that this term exists. So I don’t know if it is a “neutral term” for us, since we are not very aware of it xD

There is a ton of positive appropriation happening worldwide! Infinite cultural mixes have happened in every way! But I am most familiar with cultures that have interacted with Greece so I will give examples of this type of appropriation regarding this. 

Greek music sounds a lot like Middle Eastern and Arab music (or THEY sound like Greek music haha!) Greeks and Turks have co-existed for so long that in some cases we have the same traditional songs (in Greek and Turkish respectively) or the same melodies. Greeks used the language Karamanlidika, which was Turkish mixed with some Greek but written in the Greek alphabet.

I am eating Muesli right now, which was invented by a Swiss (people ate grains for breakfast before, it’s just the specific type that came from Switzerland).

When it comes to food, the Chinese diaspora in Greece has opened many restaurants with their cuisine and Chinese is a fave of us, even though China is soooo far away! Not even Italian food is that high in our preference. Also, many Chinese people come to the Greek islands for their weddings because of the aesthetic. Chinese are, in general, admirers of the Greek culture (thank you guys!!) and Chinese tourists are to be found in every ancient site! 

The Japanese band Pyramidos sings Greek traditional songs IN GREEK, using Greek traditional instruments and Greeks LOVE them! (I am a hardcore fan xD)

Heck, the Evil Eye is part of many cultures today but it started from one region - from what I know it was probably the Balkan peninsula Hellenic area, since I have only there seen eyes used for protection in antiquity.

Fashion is also an interesting element! Especially in our “international village” we are exposed to different types of fashion. You will surely have seen sweaters with Finnish patterns, dresses with Bohemian (Czech) patterns, hankerchiefs with “lahoor” designs (sorry, idk its name in English!) and many more are availiable in many countries. Sistinct cultural fashion is availiable for purchase by anyone (if it’s not something sacred and if the sellers want to share their craft with the world).

A Pakistani friend living in Greece is very happy drawing henna designs in her friends’ hands. Henna designs stalls also exist in some Greek tourist places - I think usually Greeks operate them and I am sure they weren’t taught from a Greek grandma xD Many South Asian people come to international art exhibitions happening in Greece, where knowledge is exchange and trade is established.

I asked one of my friend who continuously researches cultures and she gave me a few examples: How Indians adopted Henna/Mehendi designs from Persians, how the Persians adopted a Chinese technique of drawing, how the Persian romance “Khoshrow and Shirin” was a retelling of the 5th-century Arab story “Layla and Majnun” which was a retelling of the ancient Greek story “Metiochus and Parthenope”. She also told me of the Tatars: The Turkic people with Finno-Ugric, and Russian-Slavic elements in their culture! Tatars live in South Russia mainly but their traditional music uses the pentatonic scale, which aligns it with the Chinese and Vietnamese musical traditions!

To put it VERY simply, “cultural appropriation” (the positive one) is when you take an element from another culture through interaction and you use this element as it was intented and you don’t harm the people you took it from. You like a thing, you use the thing, because you think it’s beautiful and worthy. At the same time, you have an appreciation for the culture you took it from and treat the people and its elements with respect.

The negative one is when you don’t do these things xD Nicki Minaj being photographed as the goddess Durga to advertise shoes (and in a traditionally indicent attire) obviously causes a “oh, honey, no!” reaction 😛 Similarly, you can’t wear Greek traditional attire wherever and under any circumstances because it’s used in certain situations. BUT that doesn’t mean you can’t have Greek embroidery patterns in your clothes if you like, or clothing inspired by Greek traditional fashion. (Of course, this is not something a foreigner is expected to know so it’s better to ask :) )

Cultural power sometimes comes into play. But most of the time this cultural power is long gone and using an element from the previously non dominant culture won’t harm the people who use it. I understand that balances between dominant and non dominant cultures can differ depending on where you are in the world. In these cases researching and asking people of the culture can help. See what the majority of the culture thinks, not just 2-3 people telling you not to do it.

But, even if you make a mistake, the world won’t end. People need to understand that beating a stranger on the internet over a fashion error won’t help good cultural communication. Usually, people mean well and are willing to learn, they are not demons like the US internet makes it seem. Also, doing cultural misapropriation once by accident or bc of wrong information doesn’t make you a bad person, despite what Tumblr and Twitter says.

[ghost-in-the-stalls]

Neil Josten's Playlist Part 6 - For Himself

Masterpost and link to the playlist in its entirety here

A lot of the songs Neil keeps are just for him. Sometimes you need to be in your feelings a bit and music is the only place you're comfortable doing that.

2. Shrike - Hozier

After he initially found Hozier, this boy didn’t listen to anything else for weeks straight if he could help it. Shrike I think is just a song that he loves the sound of. Pretty much the only thing we know in canon about Neil’s music taste is that he doesn’t like loud music. Which is incredibly vague and generalizing. To me, that tells me that Neil maybe is actually someone who tends to pay most attention to and by most effected by the sound of a song than the theme or lyrics or genre or anything. If he doesn’t like the sound, he doesn’t like the song. But a sound that appeals to him? Oh boy, he won’t be able to let it go. Shrike is like that for him. It’s gentle and smooth and I imagine he doesn’t pay too much attention to the lyrics or meaning. He just lets himself get lost in the sound.

11. Best Part - Daniel Caesar & H.E.R.

Not too much to say about this. It’s soft and beautiful and smooth, and I think Neil would greatly appreciate the sound. It’s a bit too soft for him to associate with Andrew, but he doesn’t need the association to enjoy it. Neil listens to it on his morning runs when the sun is only just rising and the world is still moving slowly. But he also listens to it on slower mornings when Andrew convinces him to forgo the morning run in favor of breakfast and coffee on the couch with the cats.

17. Dreams - Fleetwood Mac

Like some others on this list, this is a song that catches Neil wholly for its sound. Like the title, listening to this song feels a little like getting lost in a dream. There's just something very soft about it, and those are the kinds of songs that catches Neil's attention. He likes that he's found something he can get lost in for a time without losing himself.

27. Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright

As incredible of a song this is, the origin of Neil's connection to it isn't anything super emotional. The foxes made him watch Shrek. He became very attached to this song and would listen to it on repeat for weeks afterwards. They all got so sick of it. His aux cord privileges were revoked. Matt doesn't need to start CRYING while he's DRIVING Neil, THANK YOU.

As for his connection to it, a big trend I'm seeing in the stuff that I think Neil listens to is that a lot of it is very emotional. Sad songs, moving melodies, beautiful ballads. I think Neil listens to music to help him feel his emotions - like really feel them. He's so good at compartmentalizing and shoving everything down and away (as per the trauma of running for the better half of his life), I think listening to emotional music - like really listening to it all - as a means of getting in touch with the emotions he's always shoving aside would be a great coping mechanism for him. To that degree songs like this just strike a cord with Neil, even if there isn't any parallel to draw between the lyrics and his own life. A song is a package of emotion that Neil can hear and unpack and process at his own pace while retaining a safe degree of separation.

30. Obstacles - Syd Matters

Not a whole lot to say about this one. Neil finds it somehow - either through one of his foxes or just on his own - and he finds it incredibly calming. He keeps it close. It makes him hopeful even on days when he can't bring himself to look in the mirror. The steady melody and repeating words help him get lost in something other than his own thoughts.

35. Ashes On Your Eyes - Deb Talan

This is one Neil found on his own. It doesn't remind him of any of his foxes, though, or his mother. It's one of the few songs he has just for himself. It serves as a reminder that he's going to be okay. He has a great support system, but sometimes he likes to find comfort in himself just to prove that he can still do it. Songs like this keep him going on those days where he doesn't want to bring his problems to others.

37. Rivers and Roads - The Head and the Heart

This is one Neil gets his hands on in his final year at Palmetto, but it isn't just about Andrew for him (like most of the others from this year). This one is about all his foxes - his family. It's about how lonely he feels even when he has a whole group of people he lives and plays and interacts with on a daily basis. They aren't his people; his people are scattered everywhere. He only learned how to be a real person after he met them. Now he needs to learn to do it on his own. There's a special kind of pain that comes when he thinks of how much he misses each of them.

39. Unsteady - Ambassador X

This song is one Neil thinks of often when he's having bad days. He'll still always end up having some days where he doesn't feel like a real person, and on those days it can be hard to ground himself - to keep from floating away and giving up on everything he's built to run back to being nothing. What helps him most on those days is not being alone. It takes him a long time, though, to learn how to communicate what his needs are on those days. It's pretty lucky that Andrew can read him so well, but during the years when they aren't living together it becomes very hard for Neil to find the words to ask for help. This song helps him with that. The chorus is so short and to-the-point but is still such a bare-bones lay of emotion and need that it centers Neil enough to realize that he doesn't need to explain himself or mince his words when he's asking for help. He just needs to ask.

42. Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) - Green Day

The downside to having the music taste that Neil does is that sometimes he latches onto something that is apparently a bit cheesy or overplayed, and the foxes gladly tease him for liking it unironically. This is definitely one of those songs. It doesn't matter to him that it was basically everyone's 8th grade graduation song (he didn't get one of those anyway, Matt.) He listens to this and thinks of the passage of time and how hard it's going to be when his foxes are scattered all over the country while he's stuck alone in Palmetto. But they'll be happy, and he'll be happy soon enough after that. They'll all move forward but it doesn't mean they'll lose each other (he has to repeat that to himself on bad nights).

The completely serious way he listens to this song is funny to the foxes at first, but Nicky is the first to break down crying when it stops being funny. He's also the only one to break down crying, but that doesn't mean the others don't get emotional too. ("Jesus, Neil, you got a whole team of collegiate athletes getting emotional over the time-of-your-life song. How much more of a fucking weirdo enigma can you be??" -Andrew at some point probably)

47. Everybody Hurts - R.E.M.

Neil has some pretty intense, pretty specific trauma. Plenty of people in the world have experienced terrible things and it isn't a competition. Neil knows this. However, he's also painfully aware that he's someone who pulled the right numbers in the shit lottery. Sometimes it helps to hear this song.

He knows that maybe his own life experiences were not anything close to what the songwriter had in mind, but it still helps. It helps to remember that he isn't the only person in the world who has terrible days. It even helps to know that people outside of the foxes have bad days. It helps to find a way to feel connected to the larger population of the world. It's a definite new thing for him - feeling like he's allowed to belong in the world - but it's very comforting at times.

54. Lights Up - Harry Styles

((I wish I could remember who made a post once saying this was a very Neil song because that was how I first heard it and I wish I could credit that person. Alas, it was over a year ago when I first read the books and didn't recognize any usernames yet :/ if anyone knows who that is lmk!!))

There are a lot of things Neil doesn't know about himself. There are a lot of things from freshman year and before that he still feels some level of guilt for. But ultimately he doesn't regret a single choice he's made. There are a whole lot of things he's still figuring out about his life. He heard this song and really vibed with the sound and what it was saying. Not much more to say than that. He's found himself in a light that he's happy to stay and figure himself out in.

66. Here Comes the Sun - The Beatles

Mary was a bit of a Beatles fan. There were several of their songs she'd play on their long drives when they weren't being immediately tailed.

This wasn't one of them. She skipped this one, every single time. Neil fully understands why. For all the indulgence she gave herself in the music she listened to, this one seemed to cross a line she couldn't handle.

Now Neil listens to it on morning runs and good days. And he lets himself feel okay.

71. Fall on Me - R.E.M.

Neil's had plenty of people trying to hurt him throughout his life. He's never really gotten help from people he was supposed to get it from. And now he has a whole family of people who have experienced similar abandonment.

Sometimes that pisses him off.

Sometimes he just really wishes the world was a softer place. Andrew would say it's dumb to wish, especially for something like that. And he'd be right. But it doesn't stop Neil from thinking it sometimes.

73. Hat and Feet - Fountains of Wayne

Sometimes you're just beaten down and worn out. Just once in a while, Neil wants to let himself feel this without feeling terrible and lost for it. This song helps with that.

Sometimes you're just a hat and feet, and that's okay.

[only-here-for-jatp]

The Secret Chord pt 3

I am very thrilled with my poetic serious title and my chaotic mess of chapter titles that don’t do the title justice.

Anyway this entire chapter is Nick-centric and contains some negative self-talk so if you have difficulty with that (like I do) proceed with caution and stay safe and okay pretty please.

Also, we stan Carrie in this house thanks.

Read it on Ao3 here

And also below! ~2100 words

Nick was pretty sure this was a terrible idea.

It’d seemed like a great idea last night when he was watching Julie and the Phantoms at the Orpheum. The music was loud, and the crowd was electric. The bass kept up a steady rhythm pounding in sync with his heartbeat and it joined the audience into one body perfectly in sync. He’d felt so alive as if all of his nerve endings were firing at once. His joy came out as an endless ache while he watched Julie perform her heart out, her own enthusiasm evident in every note and movement.

She shone so bright on that stage, more so than anyone he’d ever seen. He’d long since known of her grit and determination, the perks of being in school together since elementary school. Over the years he watched as the little girl with the big voice and no fear stood up to bullies, teachers, and during what came to be known as Fallout 2016 her (ex)friend Carrie.

Julie held her head up so high as she walked through the hallways and he was in awe of her even then. There were still some things he was still working out about himself and she was so unapologetically herself. He’d often wished for her bravery to be that strong.

At the same time, he watched Carrie struggle to keep her head above water. Her dad loved her, but he was absentminded and often off on the road or some tour or party or something, leaving Carrie alone in that big empty house. Before there’d been the joy and laughter of Julie and Flynn echoing in the hallways, but now she sat alone in her thoughts.

It was almost imperceptible to anyone who didn’t know Carrie, after all she’d always been a little rough around the edges, but Nick watched her harsh mask develop. He watched her use deflection and bravado to hide her fraying internal state. Nobody seemed to notice her growing intensity and focus on Dirty Candi, but it seemed like someone needed to do something.

Admittedly his feelings crept up on him. At first, he’d started small interactions as a friendly gesture. Little things like a smile or a wave so he could try to communicate somebody saw her. While she seemed a little confused at first, she soon started flashing him a smirk and a friendly sarcastic comment. Rather quickly their friendship grew, it turned into long conversations at lunch or studying together in the library. What started out as concern turned to pride and warmth as he watched this girl who hurt so much use her unwavering force of will (and a little pink glitter) to get up and meet each day with a take no prisoners attitude.

Once he saw her perform for the first time, he was a goner. That little smirk just did something to his insides. He asked her out and he was happy. They were happy.

Until Julie’s mom died. Whatever fallout might have happened between her and Julie, Carrie loved Rose. She’d been the closest thing Carrie ever had to a mother, and the loss hit her hard. Nick knew Julie would’ve granted her a temporary truce and welcomed Carrie with open arms to grieve. He was even pretty sure Carrie knew deep inside herself somewhere too, but the walls she’d built were too high and too wide to bring them down.

Nick did his best to be there for Carrie, but he knew he wasn’t what she needed. She needed Julie and the Molinas, but it wasn’t going to happen. Not yet. Instead her unresolved feelings ate at her morphing into jealousy and anger and acid. He watched this beautiful typhoon of a girl let the acid and anger consume her. Defenses and walls started going up against him too, until she treated him as little more than an accessory or a chess piece in her one-sided match against Julie Molina.

Beautiful burning Julie Molina who after a year of retreating into a cocoon, hiding from the world and her pain burst onto the stage like a firework. She maintained her grace and inner fortitude whatever the world, or Carrie, threw her way. Above all else though, she was kind. After months of being treated like a doormat, he craved the kindness and gentle protective ferocity that was Julie Molina.

He knew he followed her around like a lost puppy, but even if he couldn’t be with her just being around her made him feel like he could do anything. Be anything, even himself. Her music lived and breathed inside him, the words filling him up and offering him a lifeline when he didn’t even know how close he was to drowning.

He ached to return the favor of her steady reassurance and unconditional acceptance and support. She was incredible and she deserved to know. If he could emulate her even just a little bit, he wanted to try, wanted to practice being like Julie Molina.

Of course, this was how he found himself pacing the sidewalk for twenty minutes, gathering the courage to bring her these flowers. It shouldn’t be this hard. Flowers were a regular post-performance kind of gift. I mean, he did have a crush on her, but she seemed to be into her guitarist? Would she think he was creepy or weird or persistent? He didn’t want to scare her off. Maybe this was a bad idea. He probably didn’t have a shot with someone as incredible as her anyway. He’d like to think he stood a chance since her guitarist was a hologram, but the way they looked at each other….

What did it matter? These flowers were not crush flowers. He would’ve gotten her Dahlias for that. These were simply good job flowers. They’d performed at the Orpheum! That was a big deal. This is fine. This is normal.

A small burst of confidence propelled him forward while he gave himself a mental pep talk in his head. Later he would kick himself for not being more aware of his surroundings, but to be fair no one really expects a tall, mysterious demon man to sneak up behind them.

Yet here he was staring at this man in some steam punk adjacent costume, a smug plastic grin on his face and a mildly threatening atmosphere. He’d rang the doorbell, but he hoped Julie didn’t walk out here while this creep was still around.

“How sweet. The brokenhearted teenager fighting for his girl.”

Nick was taken aback. For one thing, brokenhearted was not the right word. He was hopeful. For another- “Do I know you?”

“No, but you will.”

Nick didn’t even have a chance to react before Caleb’s hands were around his neck. It felt like fire was racing through his veins, consuming him. He couldn’t move, his arms spread wide, but his insides struggled against the invasion. Thrashing and shrieking he screamed inside his mind.

It started in his fingertips and toes, his body feeling like it was too crowded. Like something was growing and pushing him out. He fought so hard trying to stretch and stand up to the purple smoke that was blinding and dividing him. Yet he was losing the battle with every moment. Feeling himself getting shoved and squeezed until he couldn’t feel his arms or his legs or the breaths he took or the beating of his own heart. Until he couldn’t feel the weight of his own tongue.

The world went quiet first. Then it went dark.

Nick came to in a room of boundless dark. He thought about being afraid, but it wasn’t a place where things lurked. He could tell it was just empty. A brief glance showed that he could see himself, slightly translucent maybe, but still there. The space seemed to go on forever and the longer he looked the more anxious he became. His eyes darted from space to space, but it was a never-ending sea of nothingness.

A voice echoed around him, making the world rumble and shake. “Now now, Nicholas. My name is Caleb and it’s nice to meet you.”

“Who are you!? What do you want!? Where am I!?” Nick shouted at the disembodied voice, hearing the fear and trembling in his tone and wishing desperately for the confidence and bravado typically attributed to jocks. What he wasn’t prepared for was the jolt that through him.

The pain stabbed in his gut and it felt like it was ripping him open, piece by piece. He fell to his knees with a scream, doing his best not to sob as the feeling lingered. Caleb laughed before continuing. “tsk tsk tsk. I am speaking, you just need to listen. I am… borrowing your body for the time being. This little lifer girl and her trio of ghostly boy band made a fool of me. And NOBODY defies my will and gets away with it.”

“What does that have to do with- aghhhh” Nick couldn’t hide the sobs as another jolt shot through him.

“Yeah, I’m going to need you to be a fast learner Nicky-poo. I’m in charge and there’s literally nothing you can do about it. Just sit there and be quiet and maybe I’ll return your body back in one piece. Besides you may not know what I’m talking about, but you’re close with that lifer brat Julie. Her ghosties would never let me get close, you on the other hand, well they can’t stop you.”

Nick felt icy terror roll through him. Julie? This madman demon was after Julie? “No” he wheezed. He kept repeating the word as if it would give him power as he progressively got louder until he was standing and screaming it into the void, damn the consequences. “NO. I won’t let you hurt her.”

Another jolt ripped through him as an invisible force knocked him back. The laughter seemed to echo around the space reverberating into an endless mocking loop. “You? You won’t let me? What exactly are you going to do Nicholas? After all, you couldn’t even defend yourself against me. What makes you think you’re capable of doing anything at this point to stop my plans?”

Nick sagged against the ground. There wasn’t anything he could do. His insides felt hollowed out as hopelessness descended upon him. Useless. He was absolutely useless.

“There you go! Now you’re getting it. Anyway, this is the inside of your head and it can be manipulated into whatever I want. Behave and I’ll make sure it’s somewhat comfortable, continue to fight and defy me and I’ll make sure you relive your worst nightmares. Got it?”

Nick nodded, curling up on himself in defeat. If only he’d stayed home today.

“Good, now I just need to borrow your memories real quick and we can get this show on the road. After all, I have a fight too.”

It felt like someone was slicing his brain into pages and flipping through it like you would a book or a deck of cards. He’d grabbed his head at the pain and briefly resisted before giving into the feeling. It was almost like he could feel the fingers turning through the pages. Flipping through his life as if it were nothing. As if he were nothing. He hoped Caleb got a cosmic papercut.

And then for a brief shining moment there was nothing. No Caleb, no jolts, no rummaging through his psyche, no noise. No world. Unfortunately, what looked like a big screen popped up in front of him. Was that the Molina’s house? Were these his eyes? He almost couldn’t watch as Julie opened the door. Then there he was again. Alone in the dark vastness of nothing. He let out an empty laugh. Of course, he was. That was him, always alone. Always hiding. Unable to make any true impact on the lives of the people around him. He’d failed to help Carrie battle her darkness and Julie certainly never needed him.

He wondered briefly if anyone would even notice if he was gone. If anyone would even realize this thing that occupied his body was using him like a puppet. He doubted it. No one ever managed to make it past his walls. No one ever viewed him as more than as that blonde lacrosse player, or Carrie’s boyfriend.

He was as unseen and unheard in here as he was for every other moment of his life.

The disembodied voice never said anything, but Nick was sure he could feel Caleb roll his eyes and mutter “teenagers”. Suddenly a couch poofed into existence and Nick settled into it, finding it oddly comforting. He curled himself around a pillow that he’d dragged into his lap, ready to watch his life spin out of his control.

[silverstcrs]

❛ Who are you? ❜ (  @ironanddust​ nandor​ to nicolas )

“I fail to see how that is any of your business,” Nicolas commented setting down his glass of wine.  He wasn’t sure what number glass it was.  All he knew was that wine made things tolerable.  It made the frustration with his music easier to deal with, eased that annoying longing that sometimes turned to anger and hatred or despair for being left behind.  “Why should I introduce myself to a stranger?  Am I in your seat or something?  Am I supposed to know you from somewhere?  If the answer to all of that is no then go bother someone else with stupid questions, I’m busy here.”

[badteengyal]

Lemme write another think piece chile.

Y’all this one is about my favorite BTS songs because I have the time.

My time

Y’all need to give Jungkook his flowers for this one. This man made one of the best songs ‘Map Of The Soul: 7’ say what you want about the album but this is one of the best solo songs out of all the members and that’s just the truth. I can’t make the song not sound as excellent as it does.

(Also lil side note: most of BTS’s best work is in Map Of the Soul: 7 in my opinion)

Black Swan

Jin deserves an Emmy for his performance in this video. Say what you want this song is master work and is in fact the best song on the album. I would’ve said My Time but it’s a solo so I can’t do that so this is this song shall take the top 1 spot.

Filter

Park Ji Min did exactly what he needed to do with this one. In my eyes (with my glasss on of course) this NEEDED I repeat NEEDED a video Idk why it ain’t get one but if I get involved there will be a music video.

Jump

Taehyung’s verse.

Paradise

The instrumental is what does it for me everytime, like the song hits everytime ain’t nothing I can do about that.

Airplane (JHope)

Once I find out why this song isn’t talked about as much as it deserves I will intervene. This songs production is PERFECT wow. Like I went on a walk for like 2 hours and this song was one of the songs I played most. This song is simply amazing.

내 방을 여행하 법 (Fly to my room)

Best song on BE 🤷🏾‍♀️ say what you want it’s simply the truth I can’t change it. JIMIN’S high note is something for the books. Taehyung singing most of the song really does it for me.

UGH!

The best rap song I’ve heard by them. The best verse has to go to J Hope because of the creativity he displayed in his last verse. I love Suga’s verse tho because of how VICIOUS he sounds. But RM sounds like a super villain and it will always sounds amazing to me. They sounds so vicious, I love it so much. AHEM

House of cards

They were in their RnB bag, yup. This song sounds like “secs appeal” and we need to address it because it needs to be said. I need some more RnB music from them (Jungkook, JiMin and Taehyung specifically)

JAMAIS VU

I will NEVER forgive all the stans that didn’t tell me about this song. Y’all I heard this and cried almost immediately. Why was y’all holing out on me? Why? What was the purpose? Because the is is one of my top 5 songs by them. Some of their best vocals. Seokjin deserves his flowers.

소우주 (mikrokosmos)

One of their best “sad pop” songs. It makes me feel nostalgic and happy at the same time and I can’t explain it like it’s so happy but I feel cold and sad but somehow happy when I hear it. I love it sooo much.

Home

This is the song that made me go to the search bar and put them in my library and I’m so thankful that Beyoncé edit. Everyday I’m so thankful for it because I wouldn’t have gotten into them when I did without it.

00:00

I have no reason I just like this song.

IDOL ft. Nicki Minaj

Knowing that Nicki Minaj and BTS have interacted makes me feel happy about the song.

Anpanman

Simply just a banger ain’t nothing I can say about it.

Singularity

In his RnB fendi bag. Taehyung voice is sooo perfect for this type of RnB like they need to give him more solo’s and more RnB songs cause this was a serve. Deserves to be talked about more.

Serendipity

His vocals are breathtaking and stunning. A vocalist.

All night Ft. Juice Wrld

The song is vibe and Juice wrld’s verse is the reason I love the song. It needed more promo in my opinion because I didn’t hear any talk about it when it came out. Rip Juice Wrld ❤️

Blood Sweat and Tears

The song that introduced me into BTS and Kpop as a whole. I remember in 2016 I watched “iiSuperwomanii” react to this song and I liked the song but didn’t get into BTS until later and I regretted so much. The music video for this song is also amazing.

Telepathy

Now I understand how y’all might call this the best but in my eyes no one doing what fly to my room is doing ain’t nothing I can do about it.

Magic shop

They in their pop bag with this one. They need to do more songs like it.

Begin

Jungkook has no bad solos 😌🤷🏾‍♀️ it’s simply the truth.

That is the end of my favorite BTS songs that they have released so far. Wishing BTS the best in the future! ❤️🤍

[artificialqueens]

Favorite Place, Chapter 4 (Crygi) - Lily Bee

AO3 LINK

Chapter Summary: After everything that happened Crystal tries to throw herself back into work, but is greeted by a surprise visitor. Who could it be this time?

A/N: hi guys! sorry for the late update my life has been very hectic with graduating and i’m still working full time :0 we have yet another filler chapter, i’m sorry! but chapter 5 is finally when things get intense, i promise! as always thank you jazz for editing & you can find me here :)

It’s not like Crystal thought she was going to hear from Gigi immediately, but after ten days with no calls or texts, she began to stop getting her hopes up. It was understandable that Gigi would need time to process a breakup like this, but damn did Crystal just want to see her again. She didn’t even know if the girl was gay or not, but a part of her wished she would be.

Instead of thinking too hard about it, Crystal just threw herself back into her work. She had offered to work full day shifts meaning she would have to be there from 9am until close. But Nicky would do most of the work anyway, and Rock was usually working at the coffee shop so she could get free drinks.

She was about four hours into her shift when the caffeine started to wear off. She yawned as she staged books around a display. Customers walked by, paying her no mind. She finished up the display quickly and looked around and saw Nicky was still working the register. Maybe she could sneak a nap on one of the couches if she was lucky.

She decided to test her luck and took a seat on a couch in the corner where no customer was looking. She leaned against the shelf and shut her eyes. Oh yeah, a nap was exactly what she needed. She focused on the sounds around her; pages being flipped, soft music being played over the speakers, light footsteps against the foot, and coffee brewing. It was peaceful, no one spoke. Too busy indulging in their own books to notice others.

She didn’t realize how long she had been resting until she heard someone whisper, “Sleeping on the job?” The voice startled Crystal out of her sleep-induced trance. Standing in front of her was Gigi with a soft smile. “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you,” she added.

Crystal stood up quickly, fumbling over herself. “No, I shouldn’t have been sleeping during my shift,” she laughed at herself and added, “Don’t tell my boss.” She snuck a look at Nicky who had not moved from the register. She didn’t seem at all interested in what Crystal was doing.

“I promise I won’t,” Gigi giggled.

“What are you doing here?” Crystal asked, sitting back down and encouraging Gigi to sit with her.

Gigi plopped down next to her and spoke, “Oh, do I need a reason to come visit the pretty girl at the bookstore?” Crystal’s blush seared through her cheeks and for a minute she thought her face was on fire. She suddenly felt awkward, demure, and coy; even going as far as attempting to hide her rosy features behind her slim fingers. She knew that Gigi’s eyes were looking at her – eagerly waiting for a reaction, a response, anything.

“No you don’t need a reason,” Crystal beamed, finally looking Gigi in the eyes, “I’m just happy to see you.” The corners of Gigi’s mouth rose as she cracked a smile.

The pair sat and talked for a little bit talking about the mundane things. Gigi talked about how she had been with her friends and how they cheered her up with chocolate and sleepovers. Like Crystal, Gigi had also thrown herself into work to distract herself. She talked about her new client and how excited she was to help design articles of clothing for her. Crystal knew she was tip toeing around what happened after she left her house.

“How did it go when you picked up your stuff?” Crystal asked innocently. Gigi breath hitched at words and turned away for a moment, noticeably tense. She instantly regretted saying anything. “Sorry, we don’t have to talk about it.”

“No, it’s fine,” Gigi breathed. “It didn’t go great.” She took a long breath before saying anything else. “I drove to his apartment at 2pm because by then he’s usually at work, but when I got there he was sitting in the living room, waiting for me. He was furious I hadn’t contacted him. He didn’t even realize I had walked in on him with that other woman.” Crystal could see the tears begin to form in her eyes. “He was so mad. Worse than I have ever seen him. He tried to grab me.” She peered down at her arms, but the fabric of her sweater hid what bruises could be covering her pale skin.

Gigi didn’t dare look up at Crystal as she continued whispering, “He pulled on my arms, twisting them, asking me what I knew. He said I deserved every bad thing to happen to me. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what to say. I just took it.” Crystal tried to extend her hand, but Gigi pulled away from the touch.

“I ran out in fear, I didn’t dare look behind me. I could hear him scream ‘Don’t ever come back here’ at me as I went. Not like I would ever go back there. I don’t even care about my stuff anymore, I just want him to leave me the fuck alone.”

“God Gigi, I’m so sorry!” Crystal apologized. There was probably nothing Crystal could say to make the girl feel better. She once again rested her hand on top of Gigi’s, hoping to show she cared. It wasn’t much, but Gigi slowly flipped her hand over, their fingers lingering waiting for the other to lace their fingers together.

“Do you want to hang out again?” Gigi interrupted their silence, pulling her hand away quickly.

“When?” Crystal asked, her hand left empty. She drew her hand back into herself and looked back up at Gigi.

“Tonight?” Gigi proposed. “I don’t know when you get off, but I’d love to get to see you again.”

Crystal could feel her heartbeat in her chest. “I get off at nine, but I may be able to leave earlier.” She snuck another glance at Nicky just praying she would let her off early.

“I’ll see you tonight then,” Gigi pronounced. She stood up slowly and waved a goodbye as she headed out the door. Crystal let out a sigh. She should probably be concerned that Gigi just confessed her abusive past, but Finally she was going to be able to hang out with Gigi for real.

“Who’s she?” Crystal heard Nicky yell from behind her. She turned around to see Nicky sitting with a smirk on her face.

“No one,” Crystal mumbled, walking over to the counter trying to look like she was actually doing work.

“No, you’re telling me. You should be happy I just let you flirt for the last half an hour instead of restocking,” Nicky spoke. It was true, Crystal was able to talk to Gigi for much longer than she expected.

“Fine.” So, Crystal told Nicky everything from their first interaction in the store, Gigi barging in after close, how she slept at Crystal’s house, and their lovely morning conversations.

“Oh my god, you really like her,” Nicky cooed.

Crystal was taken aback by the comment. She put the back of her hand to her cheek to feel how warm it was. Between all the blushes and smiles it did seem like Crystal liked her. But how could she, they had only known each other for a little.

“No I don’t,” Crystal blurted out her voice cracking.

“Bullshit,” Nicky laughed.

“Whatever,” Crystal huffed, “Is it okay if I leave early tonight?”

“Only if you promise to actually do some work between now and then,” Nicky rolled her eyes.

“Deal!”