#i make barely enough to pay my bills yet have anything left over | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

farfromstrange · 2 years ago

Text

Foreigner's God | m.m

Previous chapter ° Series Masterlist

Chapter Forty-Three: She Knows

Summary: Life is good, life is normal. All pieces have fallen into place. A routine night of patrol leads Matt and Eliza into the arms of one of Hell's Kitchen's notorious gangs who seem to have stolen alien technology. Chaos ensues, revelations are made and things go a little... out of control.

Warnings: Angst, Smut (fingering, this is relatively tame), attempt at humor, Canon typical violence, Season 3 spoilers (heavy on that), Avengers 1 spoilers, Infinity War spoilers, use of mutant powers, blood, hurt/comfort, mentions of suicide (briefly), fluff, declarations of love

A/n: I have worked long and hard on this. I spent a good ten hours, if you put them all together, just writing this chapter. Another ten the day before to plan out the way I want to change some things about how I'm going to portray Season 2 in this story, and some of the plot points I have added with my Original Characters to make it possible to put them all together to make it make sense (and erase some of the plot holes). I have written-down and solid plans until chapter forty-seven, and from there on they're just ideas that haven't been written out yet. But I think I just built a storyline that is somehow canon yet not canon at all and it might just keep you at the edge of your seats throughout the journey. I hope so, at least.

The days in New York kept getting hotter. It was a different kind of heatwave. Even though Eliza evened out the firm’s bills, the AC broke right when they needed it most, and looking at their budget — the one she had meticulously calculated — she realized they couldn’t afford to call someone to fix it, so they were stuck with two ventilators that were barely working, and the iced drinks their clients served them with.

She still had a significant amount of money left. It was enough to buy a car, but in a city like New York, cars were overrated.

She put some money aside in case her and Matt’s living arrangement would somehow be at risk if he, once again, failed to pay his rent on time, or the electricity bill got more expensive. The monthly bill had already changed from plausible to other-worldly — having her live with him meant the lights were on when it got dark; they had never been on before, except for the rare occasions Foggy stayed over. Therefore, the electricity bill grew in size significantly compared to his usually tame living costs, thanks to the discount and his blindness.

Not only was the buzzing something Matt had to get used to but having someone with working eyes living with him meant she usually left a lot of stuff lying out, or she would move the jars on his spice rack a little to the left without noticing, and once he was the one cooking in the kitchen, he touched the shelf like a lost puppy until he found what he was looking for. And she continuously switched the places.

At first, he didn’t say anything, but it eventually got too much when he couldn’t find the salt. “Babe, that’s sugar,” he heard her say behind him.

“If you’d put the jars where they were, I wouldn’t have that problem—“ he broke off, grunting in search for the tag that read salt. He found it where the basil usually was. “There it is. Where did you put the basil?”

“Lower shelf, ‘cause I couldn’t reach it.” She sounded so innocent then, eating her yogurt and watching him through hooded eyes. Eyes of guilt. “I’m sorry if, I’d known–“

Matt sighed. “It’s not that, baby. I’m just so used to everything being in the same spot, I get confused when it isn’t there, and then I have to read all of the tags to find what I’m looking for,” he explained, and it slowly dawned on her.

“Did I just completely disregard your disability because I only kept thinking about your super senses?”

“You didn’t disregard it, you just– you’re being you,” he said, “and I love that you’re you but I usually take a little longer to adapt to change for, uh, obvious reasons.”

“Don’t defend me. I totally disregarded it,” she got up, “and I am so sorry I did. Tell me what you need me to change and I will. For you, I will. I’m going to learn how to adjust to you so you won’t have to adjust to me.”

He chuckled softly. She stepped up to him, her arms snaking around his neck and he kissed her. “That’s not how this is supposed to be,” he told her.

“Yes, it is.”

“It’s not. You live here too, so you get to make this place your home the same way I did. You don’t have to adjust everything because I’m blind.”

“I want to help you,” said Eliza.

“And you are,” Matt caressed her face again, “you’re helping by being here.”

“What else can I do though to make this easier for you?”

He frowned. Usually, people didn’t ask. He was so used to living alone in his apartment that he almost forgot he wasn’t anymore, and their relationship was a two-way street, as everything else in their lives.

His head twitched toward the spice rack. “Put everything where it used to be, that would be a start,” he said.

“Okay, I can do that.” She tried to break free to do as she was told, but he held her back.

He wasn’t done. With his hands on her hips, he made sure she looked into his eyes.

“Everything except for the things you use the most,” he said, “because I need to adjust to your needs to and if you can’t use the sugar because you can’t reach it, we’ll move it to the lower shelf.”

“With the same positioning?” she questioned.

“Please.”

After a couple of days, his spices stopped wandering and he sighed a breath of relief. She was willing to learn and she adapted, something only Foggy had done while they were in college, and even then their dorm lacked of some accessibility.

Eliza put in an effort to make life easier for him. She made sure everything was where he left it, and she stopped leafing her stuff lying out because the first time he almost tripped was enough for her to change her mind about being a little messy.

When it came to the electricity bill though, she wasn’t sure what to do. Matt assured her it was fine, but she considered learning how to walk in the dark when she saw the number at the bottom. He told her he would take care of it but the man could barely afford his own coffee mix, and because of her he stopped buying his disgusting German beer (she told him he didn’t have to, but when did Matt Murdock ever listen to her?), so he lost more of his freedom than he gained when she moved in. She felt guilty, to say the least.

Thankfully, work days weren’t so boring anymore. Eliza gave up on trying to convince Matt to take paying clients. The number of people willing to pay for their services was, well… zero. Nonexistent. At least they got baked goods as a generous ‘thank you’, but cake didn’t pay the bills. It left them satisfied and with lunch for days, but food couldn’t cover the cost of living or the cost of running a law firm in the heart of Hell’s Kitchen.

“Thank you, Mrs. Ingram, we’ll take a look at those complaints and get back to you.” As an introvert, talking to strangers wasn’t an easy task, but she had a way with people that often amazed Matt.

The middle-aged woman bowed slightly, thanking her again in a tongue he didn’t recognize. The door closed, he heard the sound loud and clear, and the office finally went quiet. With the air so thick, he could barely breathe, the heat causing sweat to break out on his forehead and soak through his dress shirt. He had already pushed up the sleeves past his forearms and it bunched around his bicep, the one protruding vein now more visible than ever. He wanted to tear his clothes off but not even that would have sufficed to get rid of the heat under his skin.

Foggy stood at the door to his office, holding a water bottle to his sweaty face. “She speaks Arabic,” he said. “Matt, your girlfriend speaks Arabic. Why does she speak Arabic?”

“Because she’s smarter than you,” Eliza retorted.

Matt chuckled. “Let me state for the record that she said it, not me.”

“No seriously,” he pushed himself off the doorframe, “how many languages have you spoken today?”

“Three,” Karen cut in. She peeked down at the files scattered on her desk. “Uh, we had an elderly Chinese lady, Mrs. Rodriguez who only speaks Portuguese, and then Mrs. Ingram who speaks Arabic.”

“Yes, that. What’s wrong with you?”

Meanwhile, she had wandered off into the kitchen, taking one of the few mugs they kept in the cupboard and pouring the now cold coffee into it. “I told you, it’s an intelligence thing, you wouldn’t understand.”

It was slowly starting to dawn outside, the sun setting behind the many high rises around them. She hoped it would cool down soon. Having ditched her shirt, she was left in a burgundy top with quite a suggestive cleavage that Matt noticed instantly when the first pair of eyes of a client flicked to her breasts and he only grew more possessive with every passing male client.

“I’ll have you know,” said Foggy, “That I’m actually the smartest out of my family! I mean, I went to law school. Call me the golden child.” A proud, dorky smile grew on his face that caused his dimples to stand out.

She tried hard to hide her own smile behind a mocking smirk. “That’s kind of like being the tallest dwarf,” Eliza said.

He lifted his finger, eyebrows crinkling in a state of offense, but he quickly shook his head and put his finger back then. “Actually, that- that’s true.”

Reaching into the Tupperware that stood on the counter, she took one of the Brownies. She sniffed; it smelled like sugar and cocoa. She couldn’t remember who brought them, though she suspected it to have been one of the elderly women that came to them with their small legal troubles. It was the cinnamon that gave it away. A feeling of Christmas in the middle of summer, and it cooled down her skin when she thought about the snow that would come in December if they were lucky, and ice skating at the rink around Rockefeller Tree. Christmas in New York was magical and she looked forward to the holiday every year.

Although this year, her Christmas would look different from what it used to before; Clint wasn’t there to invite her to his family home anymore, and she wouldn’t be able to spend time with his children under the tree. Her life changed drastically, but she wasn’t alone. She had friends and she had Matt — it would be their first Christmas together. She was excited about that.

At the beginning of the year, she figured she would be lonely on Christmas, but even that had changed and now she couldn’t wait for the magical time of the year that gave her an excuse to buy him several gifts that he couldn’t turn down. But no gift could be better than the one he gave her by taking her back.

It was still summer though and the temperature melted her skin into the ground.

On a Sunday, Matt believed it was, he woke up to the scent of cinnamon in the air. He reached beside him, but the mattress next to him was cold. He frowned, listening more intently to the sounds coming from the kitchen. Through the fog of his sleepy senses, he could make out her heartbeat. He relaxed. A sigh slipped past his lips as he heaved himself out of bed.

“You’re baking,” he stated, standing in the doorframe to the living room.

Eliza looked up from where she stood in the kitchen. “Good morning to you too,” she chirped.

He pouted. “Why are you baking? Are you okay?”

“What? Oh. Oh, no,” it dawned on her, “this is not stress-baking. This is- well, I guess you can call it cheerful Sunday baking,” she said, “but I’m actually just doing it because Sister Maggie asked if I could help out with the summer fest the orphanage is doing today.”

“Thank God,” he murmured.

Matt appeared behind her, his hands snaking around her waist. He buried his face in her shoulder. She smelled of the cinnamon she used and flour — some of it got stuck in her eyebrows from where she had rubbed her sweaty forehead before, and some flour even collected at the tip of her nose. He chuckled when he realized. “You’ve got a little something there,” he brushed his finger over her nose.

She scrunched. “Didn’t notice.”

“I know. There’s some flour in your brows, too. Here,” he repeated the same motion over the soft hairs above her eyes, “All done.”

“Thanks.”

He once again wrapped his arms around her waist, continuing to breathe all of her in. She leaned back into him, one hand coming to rest in his hair while the other stirred the dough before her. Wandering lips trailed over her pulse point, leaving a wet trail behind. Eliza sighed, momentarily forgetting that she was supposed to be baking a whole batch of brownies for hungry and traumatized children. His hands squeezing her hips and his lips exploring what was bare of her shoulders distracted her from the task at hand completely, and she found herself slowly caving into his touch.

“You know, you have to stop back-hugging me when I’m baking,” she said. “You’re distracting me. I might burn these brownies.”

Matt chuckled against her neck. “How,” his lips brushed her ear as he asked, “They’re not even in the oven yet.”

“Precisely. That’s where they should be.”

“Then why don’t you put them in?”

“Because you’re distracting me from finishing them.”

“Huh, that sucks ‘cause I don’t intend on stopping–” he slipped his hand past the waistband of her panties, “anytime soon.”

“Ohhh-kay.” She grabbed the edge of the counter tightly, her knuckles turning bright white. Her hips bucked into his hand while at the same time pushing against his pelvis from behind.

His chuckle fanned across her cheek now before he turned her chin with his index finger and captured her lips in a bruising kiss.

“That is absolutely not–“ he started drawing slow circles over her clit with as many fingers as he could, “distracting— Oh God!” He kicked her feet apart, his middle finger already halfway buried in her cunt.

“Not distracting, huh?” he hummed into her ear. “Is that why you’re so fucking wet right now?”

Oh, how she hated him. She clenched around his finger at the gentle mockery, meeting the now rough palm of his hand as it bumped against the nerves that craved him the most.

“That’s it… good girl.”

The orgasm washed over her with surprising intensity. It hadn’t even been a full five minutes until her walls fluttered and she was coming undone around his finger, and he soaked up every last whimper she let out, her head now resting back against his shoulder while he gently rubbed her clit to draw the orgasm out but not to overstimulate her.

He gently pulled out. “Good morning,” Matt smirked proudly to himself.

“Oh, good morning indeed.”

His lips chased her movements as she turned around in his arms, leaning up to press her lips to his. It was a silent ‘good morning’, the first display of love that wasn’t connected to anything sexual. In the background, the soft tune of a song filled the room with a light atmosphere. She felt like a feather floating through the air, the air that was often filled with pain and the thick scent of tears shed. Sometimes, it smelled like his blood, other times it smelled like hers, and on extremely bad days, they were both bleeding. Physically and mentally they were often bleeding in each other’s arms, their souls scarred from all the suffering, and their hearts often tired of beating, but now it beat for each other. The only reason they were alive lay in each other’s arms, and they promised to continue breathing for each other, even when one of them got tired and the other had to catch them. Their arms were wide open at the bottom of the cliff, always ready to carry what the other was too weak to hold up on their shoulders.

The pair stepped into Saint Agnes orphanage sometime around noon when the brownies were finished baking and the sun was less strong in the way it burned down on the streets of Hell’s Kitchen.

Matt sniffed the air; it was hot, humid even, and thick with the sweat and different perfumes of the people passing by them as they walked toward the place he grew up in. Through the fog of the different sensations blurring together, he could make out a slightly tangy scent that lay thick and even a little sour in the air, but it was mostly salt and a cold breeze that brushed past his nose. It was going to rain soon, he was sure of that. The air shifted and it got a bit colder, offering some relief on their heated skin, but the temperature still felt inhuman.

Maggie greeted them at the door, “Thank you so much for coming,” she engulfed Eliza in a tight hug, “And thank you for offering to bake.”

“I’m glad to help,” said Eliza, handing the Tupperware that held the brownies over to the nun. She looked different from the last time they met; she wore a black dress that was the usual attire for the sisters at the church and the black-and-white headscarf that covered her brown hair.

“Oh,” she grabbed Matt’s bicep to push him further into Maggie’s line of sight, “This is Matthew, by the way. The, uh, boyfriend I was telling you about.”

Her brain seemed to short-circuit. She blinked, looking the man up and down, then back at her. Her mouth opened, but no sounds would come out. She tried again, fidgeting with her fingers as she tried to find words that would make sense, words that wouldn’t give her away.

Eliza was curious. Something wasn’t right and her suspicions overshadowed the excitement she had felt before. She needed to know why the nun was acting like that, and she needed to know now.

Matt smiled awkwardly and Maggie returned his expression. The smile is familiar. Why is it familiar? She wondered to herself. She was probably seeing ghosts and her hands were tingling for no reason. The rational center of her brain was screaming unnecessarily, her suspicions stemmed from a place of curiosity and there was no reason to worry. There was no reason to be on edge or determined to reveal a gigantic lie that probably wasn’t real anyway, she was just paranoid. After everything that happened, everything seemed to have a deeper meaning, a meaning that often turned out to be false. Maggie was a good person and so was Matt; he grew up in the orphanage, of course, he took some of what he learned and observed with him, and it manifested over the years. He was still a broken child at heart.

Still fidgeting with her fingers, Maggie chuckled. “I remember you,” she said. “You, uh, changed a lot since you were last here.”

“Uh, yeah,” Matt exhaled, “I was a kid.”

She straightened her shoulders. “Well, I’m glad that you’re here.”

“Me too, sister, although it feels weird being back here,” he said.

Maggie waved for them to follow her. He held onto Eliza’s arm on their way down the long corridor toward what he remembered to be the door to the garden behind the orphanage and the church. It was far away from the cemetery, but he had escaped once while all children were playing outside and visited his dad’s grave. He never told the nuns how he found his way there, he simply stated that he wanted to get out and then got lost. His abilities would have been hard to explain, only Stick understood what he was going through, but even he left him. They all eventually did. Being at his father’s grave had filled him with dread and it still did whenever he set foot into the church, knowing Jack was dead and he was alone. He didn’t even know his mother.

“You grew up here, it’s always going to be weird to visit your childhood home. Not to speak of the perhaps bad memories you connect with this place. Even a religious boy like you gets to have his reservations about God,” Maggie led them through the backdoor, “But destiny works in funny ways, doesn’t it?” she said. “That your girlfriend and I met and now you’re here.”

“Are you sure you can call it destiny?” Matt questioned.

“What else would you call it?”

“I don’t know, coincidence, maybe? I’ve been coming to this church for years, and have spoken to Father Lantom ever since I can remember, he’s taken my confession many times and I’ve seen Sunday Mass more times than I can count. That my girlfriend ran into you one night while she was desperate wouldn’t count as destiny, just a very surprising coincidence.”

She chuckled weakly, her eyes stuck on her face, and something resembling adoration flashed across her eyes. Her brows furrowed slightly, it was a look of worry now, one of guilt and regret, and she turned away again.

“Coincidence,” she repeated, “Yes, that might just be it.”

“I’m a man of God, I believe in what God wants. Anything else seems far-fetched, don’t you think, sister? God gives us all a purpose, so you could call it destiny, but as God’s disciples there really is nothing else but the role he cast us in.”

“Doesn’t that mean there are no coincidences, either? And call me Maggie, please. I insist.”

He tilted his head. Her statement worked through his brain and he contemplated. “You have a point,” he said.

“I’m glad you came.” Her voice cracked at the end. Matt played it off; voices crack sometimes. Eliza, however, wasn’t convinced that it was a random crack in her voice when the look she had on her face spoke more than opening a Bible and reading every last verse ever could.

Maggie was an expressive person. Her emotions displayed in her eyes, and whenever she was upset, her lips tilted down in a pout. Her brown eyes had green tints in them, but they were a darker brown, perhaps chestnut, matching her hair perfectly. Naturally curly hair.

Oh.

Fuck.

Eliza didn’t want to connect the trains of thought that clashed, drawing and setting up an invisible string between them.

“Brownies,” she blurted, her heart racing in her chest, and there was no doubt in her mind Matt could tell that she was shocked at something that neither he nor she could see because it happened in her brain and slapped her across the face. “Where should I put the brownies?” she asked.

“You don’t have to put them anywhere,” Maggie insisted, “I’ll take care of it.”

“I should take care of it though.”

“If that’s what you want–“ she handed the Tupperware back to her. “Put it on the table over there,” she told her. “With the rest of the food.”

Eliza peeked over at the mentioned table that stood aside from the commotion of children and nuns that played in the garden. Willing investors were standing around, ready to donate money to keep the orphanage up and working, and others were simply there for the free food. Mostly those who couldn’t afford it by themselves, but that was the point of the summer fest. It was meant to bring people together.

She nodded, “I’ll be right back.”

The table offered her some space to breathe away from now deep conversations between Matt and… Maggie. It all made sense now and she hated the knowledge she put on herself. There was no solid proof, but her gut hardly ever betrayed her.

“Eliza,” Father Lantom appeared behind her. He smiled when he saw her. “So nice of you to join us,” he said.

Her fists clenched. “Did you know?”

“Sorry?”

“Did you know?” she asked. Her eyes switched to the pair at the other end of the backyard. “Did you know that she’s his mother?”

She had been betrayed before, told that her parents were dead, and withheld information on the whereabouts of her biological father, so she knew how bad it could hurt to find out the truth.

The priest stuttered. His eyes were wide and he looked over to where Matt was standing with Maggie, still talking. It seemed he didn’t hear any of what Eliza said because he simply wasn’t paying attention and his senses didn’t quite work that way. If he didn’t consciously fan them out and focused on something else, he would tune the rest of the world out, and then a statement such as the one Eliza made would go over his head.

He leaned into her. “How?” he asked.

“Answer my question,” she shot back through gritted teeth.

She already knew that Father Lantom did know and that he didn’t say anything to Matt, not even once in the time he went to church, prayed, and asked for guidance. He had been lost to the point he tried to kill himself when he was merely a child and everyone lied to him. Maggie was there to raise him after his father died. She worked at the orphanage, took care of him, and she knew who the lost blind boy she was supposed to take care of was. She knew and she never said anything.

“Yes,” Father Lantom lowered his head, “I knew.”

“Great. That’s just… fucking great!”

But then Eliza realized something else. If Matt found out the truth now, it would shatter him. It would shatter him to know the lengths his own mother was willing to go to so he wouldn’t find out who she was, and the man he confided in lied to him too. It would shatter him. It would absolutely destroy him the same way it destroyed her when she revealed the truth.

“Listen, I can explain,” he said.

What explanation could there be? It was the same thing she had to go through all those weeks ago. She searched for answers for years and found them in the lies her friends told her, the people she thought she could trust, the people who loved her the most, and who she trusted with her life. It was the same fucking situation.

She shook her head. “He doesn’t deserve this,” her voice sounded low, “He doesn’t deserve any of this.”

The priest sighed in exasperation, pulling her further aside. “There’s a reason we kept the truth from him.”

“What reason could there possibly be to lie to him about his own mother? She’s right there.” Her glowing eyes resembled those of a snake, a venomous being born from fury. “She’s right there and he doesn’t know.”

Eliza remembered her telling her that she was a mother but didn’t have any children. She had done things she wasn’t proud of, committed sins she had to repent for, and found her way back from the dark void despair drove her into. Maggie used to lead support group meetings for lost children, for those who had nothing left and wanted to be better for whatever reason. She was a good person but she lied. She lied to Eliza and she lied to her own son, the man that she was now talking to as if they were long-lost friends, but she never once told him. They spent years together and she never found the guts to lay the truth out for him.

She didn’t want to hate her, she was a good person after all, but it was hard not to get angry at her. And Father Lantom played a huge role in it as well. She trusted him with her secrets. She misjudged him. She thought he was a righteous man, but he was nothing but a liar.

“He’s not supposed to find out, and you weren’t either, Eliza. This is a secret we’ve kept for decades—“

“That’s even worse!” she snapped.

He pressed a finger to his lips, “Not so loud.”

“I’m gonna be as loud as I fucking want because I’m gonna tell him.”

“No,” the Father stopped her by grabbing her arm and he said, “Please, don’t.” Was he begging or telling her not to?

“You can’t keep this from him,” she said, “it’s not fair.”

“I know, but there’s a reason Maggie hasn’t found him sooner, a reason we didn’t tell him. It was never my choice to make, it was hers, and I swore to protect her as well as make sure he was okay. If he finds out now…” he trailed off, looking at the chatting pair. “He’s gonna be devastated, you know that. You’re the closest person to him, you’re the only one who understands him. Tell me, would he be able to survive to hear the truth?”

She hated the answer. She hated that the truth was that no, he wouldn’t survive. She hated that she now knew something so crucial and she hated that Father Lantom was right. He would be devastated and he would suffer. He would question everything he ever believed to be true and he would drown. She could try to catch him, but he would fall faster than she could run to his rescue. All of this for what?

“The people in my life lied to me about my father too,” she said.

“I’m sure they had the same intention in mind.”

“They told me it was to protect me but I lost myself too. It broke me. I deserved to know and they took that right away from me until I found out the truth some other way. I would have understood if they told me themselves, but they were so adamant about lying I had to find out myself and that completely destroyed me. He deserves for the people who care about him to not lie to him,” she swallowed, “and if the truth breaks him, so be it. He deserves to know and he’d hate me for keeping this from him. I can’t live with this burden. I wish I never connected the dots, but I did, and this information is more than I can carry right now, so I have to tell him.”

“Eliza please,” Father Lantom begged. His hand was still on her arm. She broke free, glaring holes into his head. She hoped he could feel the hell she wished upon him.

She stood her ground, “No.”

“If you tell him now, his world is going to end.”

“It’s not. He caught me and I’ll catch him. I know I will. I can.”

“You can’t know that and I think you know that you can’t.”

She hated him and his words and God for putting her in such a position. She hated her curiosity and how easily she could make connections even when she wasn’t trying. But most of all, Eliza hated herself for the decision she made. She was no better than the people who lied to her.

“I have to tell him,” she whispered.

“No, you don’t.”

“I have to, but I won’t,” her voice dropped an octave and her eyes turned a terrifying color of maroon, “because if he does find out, he’s going to be devastated and he’s been through enough pain already. I’m doing this because I love him, not because of you. If you know what’s good for you, you stay away from me.”

“Eliza, wait-”

“Matt,” she walked up to him, the smile on her lips fake, but she managed to convince him. “Are you ready to go?”

“Sure, yeah,” he said. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” she assured him.

“Okay then. It was nice meeting you again.”

The nun nodded with a curt smile. “It was nice seeing you, Matthew,” said Maggie. “I hope we’ll catch up more soon.”

I hope the fuck not, Eliza cursed her inner monologue. But it was right. The more time they spent together, the guiltier she would feel, but by God, if she told him now he would break into a million pieces and their life was just starting to get better again. She didn’t want to steal the sparkle from his eyes. Matt didn’t deserve that. He also didn’t deserve to be lied to, but she loved him too much to break his heart. If he ever found out, he would hate her, but it was a small price to pay to keep his heart safe. He had lost enough for a lifetime.

The thought kept her caught in the moral conflict that wrapped its hand around her soul and squeezed, its claws dragging her down into an abyss of endless guilt and shame. If she wasn’t careful, it would consume her whole soon and there would be no going back. She loved him so much, but was the sacrifice worth it? Was risking their relationship worth it just to protect his soul from breaking? It was wrong. She knew how much it hurt when the Avengers did the same, but carrying this knowledge with her now, she realized why they kept the secret of her true parentage from her. She understood the purpose of protecting the people you love by omitting now better than she ever did, but she still cursed herself to hell and back for not opening her mouth. She should have, but time had passed by since they were at the fest and she was already too deep into the lie to pull out now. She had to walk to the edge of the grave she dug and hope she wouldn’t fall in.

The cool night air blew through her hair as she walked next to Matt over the dark rooftop. He had picked up on a commotion in the distance, gang activity, he had told her. They were partly responsible for the rising drug numbers in Hell’s Kitchen and Daredevil wasn’t pleased with what his city was turning into. He had to salvage what was left. Eliza tagged along, of course. She always did. Ever since he got her the suit, she felt more comfortable in her skin and her fighting abilities. She didn’t care much about her powers when she was around him because he told her every time, focus on your fighting skills not what’s going on in your mind. Channel your anger into something else. And she did. She channeled her feelings into her fists as she beat the criminals into a puddle.

That night though, she was so stuck in her mind, her entire body was vibrating with the energy that she pushed down so many times before. She refused to study them further, but the need to let them out was growing with each passing day, and the more she thought about it, the more scared she got about what she would do once the stone decided it had enough of being pushed down. With the empathy gone, she thought she could catch a break, but her fingers always tingled and her soul craved the power. Her body craved to rise to its full potential, whatever that was.

“How about Chinese?” Matt asked.

Eliza shook her head. “No, we had that yesterday. I can still taste that fucking awful sushi on my tongue,” she said. “I feel like it was purposely made to not taste good because how the fuck can you screw up Sushi?”

“I think they might have put too much salt in the rice.”

“And used moldy cucumber.”

“If they did, you would be having serious stomach problems right now.”

She shrugged. “Maybe I am.”

“You’re not,” he said.

“Well okay, we’re not doing Chinese. How about Indian instead?” she asked.

Matt contemplated before scrunching his nose in a disapproving frown. “We had that the day before that, and honestly if I have to taste Kurkuma one more time, I’m gonna puke. I love Indian food, but we’ve been eating too much of that lately.”

“Okay, I get that. We’ve been spending a lot of money on Indian food. How about pizza? Italian, maybe even pasta and some breadsticks. There’s a nice place around the corner from your apartment. And they got Uber Eats.”

“Yeah, let’s do pizza. But only if it has—“

“Cheese crust.”

“Exactly.”

“And I’m craving garlic bread,” she said.

He hummed. “Oh, yeah, garlic bread.”

“And if we both eat it, we can still kiss.”

“That is a good argument, Miss Bennet,” Matt said, “I think you might have won this discussion.”

“Pizza it is then,” she decided.

Was it wrong to talk about dinner choices while walking into the arms of one of Hell’s Kitchen's many gangs? Possibly, but they had long stopped caring about what happened before or after. The fight became their life’s purpose. They couldn’t see themselves doing anything else. Eliza was a hero, she craved to be one, and Matt craved to help his city out in any way he could. He still believed it was his god-given purpose to be Daredevil, and he stuck to his principles.

Sister Maggie is Matt Murdock’s mother. She bit her cheek. If the thought kept pushing against her head, she would burst. She had to and she said she wouldn’t, but fuck! Father Lantom wasn’t the boss of her and she knew better than let him tell her what to do. She knew better than to break Matt’s heart by lying to him and risking what they had because she didn’t want him to hate her, ever. She didn’t want to break his trust. She promised not to lie to him, and she was physically incapable of doing so, anyway.

“Matt,” she caught his wrist and he stopped, giving her a puzzled look that she could read even behind the Devil’s mask, “I have to tell you something,” she said.

Now or never. Fuck Father Lantom and Maggie for their lies. She had to be better than them. She was better than them. She wouldn’t make the same mistake Tony made because, in the end, he was more sorry than she had been safer.

“What’s up?” he asked, his lip tilted down in a confused and worrying frown. “Are you okay?”

It was sweet how he suspected it was something about her rather than something that would tear his entire worldview down.

She opened her mouth, putting aside all reservations. Eliza was going to tell him the truth about his mother right then and there and then wait for the music to come. He was going to implode but fuck, she couldn’t keep the secret any longer, it was eating away at her insides and it was driving her guilt to an all-time high that she seemed to be tumbling off any second now. It suffocated her, knowing the truth about him and keeping him in the dark. She wasn’t going to do that to him, not again. She made so many promises, she had to keep them. She promised she would keep them.

“I-”

The blast that sounded in the distance cut her off.

They flinched at the same time, ducking behind the ledge of the roof. “You hear that?” he asked.

She nodded, “Loud and clear.”

Something strange lay in the atmosphere. It was a familiar feeling, a tingle that shot up her spine and caused the hairs on her arms to stand up.

Looking down at the layer they were supposed to stake out, she caught the blue glow through the dirty windows. The smoke from the blast clouded the inside. She tilted her head. It couldn’t be—

“You have to stay here,” she said. Her breath hitched. “You can’t go down there.”

Matt chuckled, the confusion written on his face as he asked her, “Why?”

“I’m not kidding,” and her serious expression told him as much, “You’re not going down there.”

“Angel, calm down. What is going on? Why do you-”

“It’s Chitauri tech,” she stated. The blue glow mixed with the almost radioactive-looking smoke told her everything she needed to know. Her hair bent in the direction of the alien force and her fingers tingled; this could only mean one thing - the Battle of New York had left a significant number of weapons and alien remains behind, and many people had stolen parts and taken them with them, and the weapons that came out of playing with such technology would always be life-threatening to any human being.

“Chitauri as in–“

“The Battle of New York, yes.”

“Are you sure? How do they- how would they even get their hands on the technology? I thought Stark cleaned up all of it when his foundation paid for the reconstruction of downtown. That was four years ago, Eliza. Are you sure that blast wasn’t just a manipulated machine gun?”

“The glow, Matthew. You can’t see it, but you might feel the energy in the air. I do, I can feel it creeping up my spine and toying with my brain. It’s alien, definitely. I felt the same when I stood in the ruins of this city and had aliens jumping on the buildings around me, shooting their funny little guns at us.”

It was true, he felt the static change in the air, but he thought nothing about it. Explosions often manipulated the way air would graze his skin. She seemed convinced though and her heartbeat showed no signs of doubt. This was her arena. This was what she was best at. He had nothing on her ability to sniff out what he couldn’t see. She felt deeper than he did, she was more susceptible to the atmosphere and reality spoke to her in ways he couldn’t comprehend. When she told him it was alien technology they were dealing with, he had to believe her.

“That day, death and destruction rained from the sky,” he said. “It wasn’t just a random incident. The world almost ended, New York City was destroyed, people died… why would humans want to acquire the tech that almost got them killed?”

“Why do humans hurt each other in dark alleyways in the middle of the night?” Eliza challenged. “Why do humans resort to violence when they can’t get their way? We’re animals, Matt,” she said, “we’re predators, we want to be better than any other species, so that’s why some humans don’t even fear God when it comes to ruining other people’s lives.”

“Well, then we need to stop them.” He made a move to get out of the crouching position, ready to reach for his Billy Clubs.

She put her hand atop his. “Don’t,” she said.

“They could seriously hurt a lot of people. If we don’t do anything—“

“I need to stop them, not you.”

“Did you miss the part where we decided we would fight together because we always have each other’s backs?”

“This is alien tech. You’re only human. You’re not indestructible. You don’t even have a shield. If they hit you, you’re dead.”

He only scoffed. “I’d like to see them try.”

Usually, she found his confidence more than alluring, but at that moment she wanted to hit him. He wasn’t invincible, but he seemed to forget that from time to time. If she was right with her suspicions, he would be dead the second they stepped through the door. She could never forgive herself if that happened, which was the precise reason why she tried her hardest to stop him, even if she had to tie him to the roof. She would do it.

“No,” Eliza insisted, “stop.”

“What are you so afraid of?”

“I don’t want to lose you,” her voice cracked.

He hung his head low, exhaling a heavy breath through pursed lips, then turned his head up enough for her to meet his red eyes. His hand reached for her cheek, cupping the rosy skin and caressing her cheekbone with his gloved thumb. He sighed again, this time louder. Her eyes fluttered closed.

“You’re not going to lose me,” he said. “Hey, look at me—“ She opened her eyes. Tears glistened in them, tears that came from a dark place of fear deep within her heart. It tore her apart to think about what could possibly happen to him. “You’re not going to lose me,” he said. “I promised I’m in it for the long run and I intend to keep that promise. We go in there together and we both come out alive. I love you, okay? Alone because of that, I would show death the finger.”

She dropped her forehead against his. “Promise?” she breathed the word into his mouth.

He pressed his lips to hers ever so gently, barely brushing them, breathing her in as if she was the last thing keeping him alive. “Promise,” he said.

“I love you too.”

“I know.” He kissed her forehead. “Trust me, I know.”

“Promise you’ll stay behind me until I tell you otherwise?”

He crossed his heart. “Promise.”

She prayed to God he would keep his promise.

The inside of the garage was quiet. Occasionally, metal would scrape against metal and the whirring of a saw cut through the sound barrier. Sparks flew, lighting up the room, but as soon as it was over, the room fell silent again. Every person seemed to have their work cut out for them.

They entered through the back, inching their way behind one of the shelves that protected them from the careful eyes of the men in leather jackets and their guns. It was a cliche, the way they looked, but gang members had their ways of fitting into cliches even when they weren’t trying.

She eyed the structure of the building, the workbench, and the several weapons that were scattered all over the room. She couldn’t make out the source of the blast. The glow had disappeared. The saw whirred again, longer this time and metal thunked to the floor. Eliza craned her neck to get a closer look; she saw the blue core before she saw the man behind it tightening the screws on the gun.

Nodding toward the front, Eliza patted Matt’s shoulder. He got the message. Using the furniture that adorned the garage as cover, he made his way forward. She stayed behind, making sure he landed safely where she wanted him, and when he stopped behind another shelf soon after, she exhaled. She calmed her heart and focused.

“Now,” she breathed only loud enough for him to hear — and he did. She could have moved her lips and he still would have heard.

He tossed one of his Billy Clubs into the room. It managed to hit the first man over the head. He tried his best to be subtle about it, but the metal hit the ground loudly and with how quiet it was, the sound resembled a gunshot in a silent neighborhood.

She was about to warn him that they would start shooting, but the words died on her tongue when the first bullets started to fly in the direction they suspected the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen to be. Her target was the man at the workbench, his fingers wrapping around the gun he was working on. He never got around to using it.

The blade graced his jaw. “Drop it,” she hissed into his ear.

He lifted his arms and put the gun down, swallowing against the dagger that hovered dangerously close over his neck. Satisfied, she lowered the blade and instead, pushed him forward until his head collided with the wood of the table. His brow burst open at the impact, painting the brown surface red with his blood.

She flipped the knife. That had been fairly easy. The tip of the blade collided with the blue Chitauri core of the weapon, breaking the glass and shutting off the only power source there was — the core itself. The gun could no longer shoot and with the first weapon out of service, she could move on to the next.

The men that came at her underestimated what she was capable of. She dodged the first one’s punch, ramming her knee between his legs, and she buried her entire fist in his face. His nose cracked under her knuckles.

Her knife flew across the room and hit her target’s shoulder while she flipped another man over her shoulder. She knocked his head into the floor, spilling blood in the process. The man holding her dagger headed for her, but she gracefully ducked under his arm, slinging her arm around his neck and single-handedly flipping him onto his back on the ground. The last thing he saw was her towering over him before her fist knocked him into oblivion. Wiping his blood on her suit, she hummed. This was going better than she expected.

Eliza searched for Matt in the mess. Her eyes caught on him as he fought one of the larger guys. He looked graceful, pushing him back and further until he stumbled over his own feet and hit the ground. At the sound of a gun cocking, she turned her head to see one of the members he must have knocked out before rising to his feet and pointing his gun at the back of his head.

She sprinted toward him. He saw her coming from the corner of her eye, now pointing the gun at her. It was a normal glock. With so many men, it was hard to tell who carried what weapon. She still hadn’t seen the source of the gigantic blast — the gun she disarmed couldn’t have caused it, as it was way too small — but she was sure she would find it soon enough. For now, though, her brain stopped functioning and she simply stormed toward the man with the gun, and she stared right down the barrel as she had back when Ivan rose from the ashes of the White Room and buried three bullets inside her chest cavity.

She fell to her knees, much to the man’s surprise, and she slid her knife over his kneecap. The gun dropped to the ground. He toppled over, holding the pulsating wound with both of his hands. Jumping to her feet, she pushed her boot into his back, forcing him to his knees. Matt was safe, for now.

Her eyes switched to him only for a second, but a second was enough for the man to pull the hidden knife from his boot, turn around and jab the blade into her side. Eliza cried out, the intrusion sending sparks of fire through her abdomen, a feeling too familiar. He definitely cut through many nerves and it went deep, too deep. Her flesh squished and she caught onto her attacker’s wrist, staring into his eyes. He grinned. She tore the knife out of her side together with his hand, punching him straight across the face, and as pissed as she was at him for stabbing her, she lifted her knee to knock his teeth out. He dropped to the floor. She kicked him again just to make sure he would stay down, then finally pressed a hand to her bleeding side.

If the wound didn’t kill her, Matt sure as hell would. He would call her reckless and berate her. He would tell her that she was the one worried about him for no reason and that she should have taken better care of herself because she got hurt, but he didn’t. He would say a lot of things, but for that, they had to make it out alive, which suddenly seemed highly unlikely with her side throbbing as if she was losing pints of blood (she wasn’t).

The Chitauri weapon was gigantic. It looked like a grenade thrower only two times bigger and the glow was already visible through the barrel she found herself staring into when she looked up.

“Woah,” she called out when the stranger pointed the weapon at Matt. She lifted her hand, diverting the attention toward herself.

She suspected them to pull out the big guns, but this was exactly what she tried to prevent — having Matt in the crosshairs.

“Listen, I know you’re probably not planning an uprising or some other gang-related shit, but the weapon you’re holding in your hand right now is definitely not made for men like you,” she said.

He laughed. “Men like me?” he said. “Who gave you the right to judge that? You and your little friend here came into our home—” he looked around himself, his men moaning and groaning on the ground, blood spilled and bones were broken, “and you think I’m just gonna let you get away with it?”

“I saw the blast.”

“The gun over there malfunctioned. The one you destroyed. Thanks for that.” His smile was bitter.

Matt, the idiot that he was, stepped forward and she was about to yell at him for being so reckless, but he couldn’t be stopped.

“We came here to get answers on the heroin that’s being sold on the streets right now. The laced heroin, the one currently killing dozens of kids and addicts alike,” he said. “We didn’t come here to be shot at or start a war. We just want answers and then we’ll go. You just have to put the gun down first.”

The weapon swung back over at him.

“Daredevil,” the man stated, “I figured you’d come one day.”

“I’m not here to shed any unnecessary blood, but if you keep being a dick, maybe I will.”

“You already shed unnecessary blood. In fact, a lot of unnecessary blood has been shed lately. Instead of blaming every New York gang for selling drugs, maybe you should look into the murders that have been happening around you. ‘Cause, my people are dying and no one seems to care about that, not even the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. Tell me,” he said, “Are you really that heartless?”

The pair shared a look. “What are you talking about?” asked Eliza.

“Someone shot up the Dogs of Hell a couple of days ago. Each had about twenty rows in ‘em. Then, last night, someone shot up the Skulls’ layer up the street. Figured we are next, so we loaded up.” He pointed down at the gun. “We had the tech stashed away for emergencies, and since someone is slaughtering gangs here in Hell’s Kitchen — hell, they’re slaughtering gangs all over goddamn New York City, I thought it was necessary to get the big guns out. For our protection. Don’t tell me you didn’t know.”

“We didn’t,” Matt said. He sounded just as confused as she was, and perhaps he felt a little guilty for not realizing what was going on. He was so focused on a problem New York has been having for decades he lost focus on what else was happening around him.

“Someone’s shooting up gangs? Are you guys trying to start a war or something?” Her voice drew the attention back to her. “Because that’s what it sounds like to me. Is it because of drugs? I used to be an addict, I know how strong heroin is, but the stuff you’re cooking up is killing innocent children in a way I have never seen before.”

He scowled, “We didn’t shoot up anyone. We’re not that stupid. And especially not because of some stupid drug trade. Not every fucking gang is involved in that. We’re family, if that even matters to you brainless fuckheads.”

“Then who else would be shooting up gangs here in New York if not a rival gang looking for more power?”

“Woman, don’t you think I figured that? But it’s not us.”

“Okay, first of all, don’t call me a woman as if it’s a bad thing,” she said, “and second of all, if not you, who is?”

“I don’t know!” he cried out. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you guys but you seem so adamant about blaming us. So tell me why I shouldn’t shoot you on the spot for what you just did to my guys, huh? Tell me, woman.”

“‘Cause you don’t want to risk pissing me off,” Matt cut in. His teeth bared, giving the man a good sense of the darkness that lurked behind the mask he put on. The Devil came out to play. “And you don’t want to risk pissing her off either,” he said, pointing his finger at Eliza who simply smirked. “I’m not kidding, right now she’s holding back because of me but when I tell her to raise hell, you’re done for, and you really don’t want that.”

“He’s got a point. You don’t want that.”

“Don’t underestimate the power of a woman scorned, and she’s got plenty of rage where what she did to your men just came from. I will let her, trust me.”

He made her sound like a guard dog on a leash, but perhaps she was just that when they fought — his dog on a leash. It shouldn’t have been as exciting as it was.

“I don’t give a shit. You trespassed on our territory,” the man charged his weapon, she felt the sizzling in the air getting stronger and her hair tilting further in the direction of the alien power source. His body craved a taste, just a small one. She wanted to see beyond the blue core. It was almost as if a completely different being possessed her, her eyes wide as she stared into the barrel, but she wasn’t scared. She was far from it. She was intrigued.

“Do you even know what you’re holding?” she wondered. “The kind of power you’re trying to wield without the necessary knowledge?”

“Oh, and you do?” he challenged.

“You have no idea.”

Her hands started to glow bright red. The maroon in her eyes faded into black, stars of scarlet dancing in her irises, and her lip remained curled in a smirk. The red rushing through her veins was natural, a familiar feeling that consumed her.

The man’s face fell. “Fuck.”

She wanted him to surrender, it was all she planned to do, but she underestimated the lengths he was willing to go to prevent getting caught in the crossfire of a possible gang war or going to jail. He pointed the gun back at Matt, her weak spot, and he fired.

How it happened, Eliza wasn’t sure. She only faintly remembered reaching her hands out toward the blast, redirecting it toward herself. As it hit her, her palms faced forward, a red wall of smoke and pure energy building between her and the alien force. Both clashed in the middle, red meeting blue, fire meeting water, energy bursting into energy, and foreign particles soaring through the air and setting the atmosphere on fire. The universe seemed to explode, her reality clashing with that of an entirely different world, a universe beyond theirs. Both forces crashed together like two cars driving at high speed over the highway. As soon as they drove head-first into each other, the force caused a chemical explosion.

It was a blow-out of epic proportions and the force pushed her back. In the air, she was weightless, but pride goes before the fall and when she crashed into the shelves at the back of the room, her head hit the metal. She slid back over the floor, landing right in front of the wall. The back of her head collided with the brick wall. The energy compressed her lungs, a fire burning bright above her head, but she must have hallucinated. It couldn’t have been real. The fire slowly turned into dots of blackness, silence overtaking her, and her ears fell into silence as she fell victim to the compelling darkness.

She, however, did not stop falling once her vision turned black. She fell through the dark void and barely caught herself on her feet when the ground came in sight. It was the red ground covered in sand and smoke; she could barely see her feet. She was still wearing the suit and otherwise, she seemed more than alive, but she had been tricked once. The wasteland was a familiar land in her mind. Something that she had once felt comfortable in only caused a numb thudding in her chest. It was so strange, so foreign now.

The darkness around her fell into scarlet so dark it turned maroon and it twisted and turned in circles until it formed six individual stones formed like a rhombus floating around her being, the glow turning different colors wherever she looked. Six stones, six different elements, six broken pieces of the universe’s core.

In the distance, she could make out the faintest of purple resting on the skin of a gigantic stranger, but he didn’t have a face. She stared at his back, unmoving, and when she tried to see more, he moved further into the distance. The stones kept her trapped in their circle and she bit her lip, trying to get closer.

The red one called for her, but so did the blue one, and the others joined in. They were silent screams of her name, a pull, unlike anything she had felt before. Several threads connected her to each rhombus, a two-way street of invisible strings. She called for them as they called for her. Her body craved to be whole, and it would only be whole with all stones close to her, it seemed. So she stepped forward and reached out for the glowing red stone that seemed to scream her name the loudest.

Where she was, her mind seemed to be malfunctioning. There was no voice of thought or reason in her head. It was just her, the stones, and the purple stranger in the distance, trapped in the maroon her mind called home. At least it had once been when she could still sort emotions, now it was void of anything important. It was just red now, as was the stone she reached to touch.

She realized too late that it was probably a mistake. The middle of her forehead started to glow the closer she got, and when she finally touched it, the world around her exploded again. The stones broke, crystals soaring around her head as the floor opened up beneath her, fading into smoke, and the walls around her broke open to reveal a vast space of different colors - blue, purple, red, and golden, stars dancing across the endless sky and the glass of mirrors broken around her.

She was falling again. Eliza tried to catch herself on the red stone, but the gem was gone like all the others, her head glowing, her hands glowing and somehow her soul was on fire. She could see the universe from the outside, could see the world, could see the reality behind a red screen, susceptible. Reality was open to being controlled and even manipulated. Not everyone had the power, but the stone had called for her and she had the power to manipulate reality. It felt strange like reality was an object she could hold in her hands, but it was invisible to the eye.

Pictures flashed across the screen, faces dancing in the galaxy, planets passing by and she could have sworn she remembered some of the places she saw. Her face was there, Matt was there, the Avengers were there - she saw Tony and everyone she ever loved dead on a battlefield, but on the opposite side the world was prospering with life. She saw death and destruction, and happiness and hope. She saw the world end at one point and start anew at another. It was strange and not everything seemed to be in her grasp - it wasn’t her reality. Those she couldn’t touch, couldn’t feel, weren’t in her control. Time and space blurred together, she saw the blue line drawn across the universe, and the streaks that suddenly broke out of the line formed a new web of glittery roads across the galaxy. Green, it was definitely green. Space was blue. The pictures she saw were both red and orange, and she herself seemed to be floating in a yellow bubble. The pull she felt was the strongest and it made the world around her explode in a burst of pure energy; it was purple. Everything was suddenly purple. Those weren’t the colors of the emotional color wheel, they were much different and with every passing color she could feel a different aspect of the invisible ball of reality she held in her bare hands.

Her back shattered through a mirror below her, glass splattering everywhere, the sharp pain cutting her skin open and bleeding into the vastness of space. She hit the glass and at the same time, she hit the ground. Her head thudded, her side burned with the wound of the blade that had cut her, and the darkness replaced the beautiful colors she saw. She woke up with a gasp, shooting up from her position on the floor. She reached out, panicking, and latching onto the leather next to her. The suit felt oddly familiar, and once her eyes adjusted to the light, she realized she was in Matt’s lap.

He had removed his mask, leaning over her as if to protect her from the world. Tears glistened in his eyes. She wondered how long she had been out. The alarm bells in her head were still ringing, but the dull gray of the room they were in gently brought her back from the edge she had been standing on. She was no longer falling, she was safe in his arms.

Her vision was working, but her lungs still struggled for breath. She pulled at his suit, not sure whether to push him away or pull him closer. She was oh so scared, and it showed in the way her heart raced against an invisible clock.

“Hey,” his voice pushed through the cotton in her ears, “Hey, you’re okay. You’re okay!” he said. “Look at me. Look at me! There you go.”

Looking into his soft eyes, her heartbeat started to slow and so did her breathing. Her lungs deflated, then filled with air and she coughed. The action alone caused another sharp pain to rip through the back of her head, following all the way down to her side where she could feel the blood pooling out of the cut still.

Matt smiled, his tears fading, but the redness of the hint of them was still there. “There you are. Hi.” He brushed the hair out of her face. “You’re okay, I’ve got you.”

Her hand shot up to her head. “Fuck,” Eliza cursed to herself.

“Don’t ever do that to me again,” he said, his hand still running through her hair. “I thought I–“ He refused to finish the sentence.

She weakly touched his cheek with her blood-stained hand. “I’m okay,” she said. Bittersweet Deja Vu, the blood stains on his suit.

“You’re bleeding,” he was referring to the wound on the back of her head, which he touched with gentle fingers, but the amount of blood he could smell didn’t match up to what he could feel.

He listened closely to her skin, the way it shifted over the bone as she breathed raggedly, and he followed the coppery scent of her blood, a scent that reminded him of a trauma he long tried his best to bury.

She hissed when his hand found the hole in her suit, the knife had gone straight through the spot that was not made out of bulletproof material. The hot liquid coated his fingers, the cut deep and the fabric around the wound soaked already.

“What happened?” Matt ground his teeth. “Which one of them did this to you?”

“It’s just a cut, I’ll be fine. My head-” she groaned, “hurts like a bitch.”

“You probably have a low-grade concussion and one hell of a head wound, but the one on your side… Sweetheart, this is bad. We need to get you out of here.”

“I’m ok-ah!” He lifted her up into a standing position, but the stretch helped neither her throbbing head nor the stabbing pain in her side. “Okay, maybe I’m not,” she grunted before she toppled over, hand pressed to her side in an attempt to stop the new gush of blood that came out.

She felt a little dizzy and her muscles hurt. But most of all, the dream she’d had while she was unconscious kept her wondering about what she saw. It had been so much at once and still nothing at all.

Matt caught her. His arm wrapped around her waist, hand applying pressure to where hers already laid over the wound. “Okay,” he murmured, “I’ve got you. Hold onto me.”

Her nails dug into his hip, a vice grip to keep herself from passing out.

“You good?”

Eliza nodded through gritted teeth, “Just get me home.” She wasn’t sure how much longer she would be able to stand.

He had never walked home that fast. With her in his arms, it was harder than without, but they eventually managed to stumble into the apartment. He set her down on the couch, her lips parting in a silent cry at how much the skin around the cut moved. Her nails clawed into the leather of the backrest, head resting against it. A thin layer of sweat covered her forehead, but it wasn’t the heat that caused her pores to open up.

He knelt beside her then, she didn’t hear him coming, and he splayed out the first aid supplies on the living room table as well as a bottle of water and some rubbing alcohol. The thought alone pained her and he hadn’t even started yet.

“Can you remove your top?” Matt asked her. His coordination was off, he couldn’t find the zipper.

She nodded again weakly, somehow managing to slip out of the top half of her suit and dropping the soaked fabric next to the couch. She was left in her sports bra, the cold air of the room sending a shiver down her spine.

Tipping the cotton swab into the alcohol, he pressed the other hand to her abdomen. “This is gonna hurt,” he said.

She knew it would. The disinfectant burned on the fresh wound. It felt as if her skin was being seared off and skinned alive. She cried out, “Ugh- fuck!” Her nails dug deeper into the leather.

“I’m so sorry, but it’s only gonna get worse from here on.”

The needle pierced her skin and once again, she cried out. Her eyes rolled back, the tears at the corner of her eyes spilling over. She was used to getting stitches, but something about the wound felt different than usual, and it hurt.

Matt stopped, his eyes faced downward guiltily, almost.

She assured him with a hand on his head, “Keep going, it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay, you’re in pain,” he said.

“I know, but you can’t change it. Just do it as fast as you can, okay? Please.”

He sighed, squeezing her flesh again and forcing the needle and the thread through. Her cries continued muffled through the back of her hand that she bit down on, the tears mixing with the sweat of blood loss and the aftershocks of the concussion. She forgot about the headache, the sharp pain in her side seemingly doing its best at burning her entire body on a stake.

His work was thorough, but he rushed anyway because he could no longer hear her cries whenever he had to pierce her skin, and her pain projected onto him. He hated hurting her, he hated that she got hurt because of him and that they had almost been at the same point they were a month ago. He didn’t want to lose her, not again.

Eliza finally relaxed into the cushions when he cleaned the wound with some water, put salve on it, and bandaged her up. An ice pack on her head eased the ache, too. The wound wasn’t deep so he decided to forgo the stitches and instead put a bandaid on it. The fight took it out of her.

He listened to her slowing heartbeat. “For a moment there I thought–” he began, not sure where he was going with the vulnerable confession, “I thought I’d lost you again, and I- I felt hollow,” he said. “So fucking hollow, I thought- I really thought I’d have to hold you again, I’d have to hear the breath leave your lungs and your, uh, heart stop again.” A tear slid down his cheek and soaked into his suit. “I thought I’d lost you, Liz, and I realized- I don’t ever want to feel this way again.”

Her eyebrows furrowed. She couldn’t separate reality from dreams anymore. Surely she had seen the same picture as she was falling, and it didn’t end well for either of them.

She sat up straighter, as much as she could with her injuries. “Are you–“ her breath shuddered and the tears reappeared, though this time the pain was entirely mental, and the fear paralyzing, “Are you breaking up with me, over a stupid gang fight?”

He was taken aback by her question. Matt blinked, licking his lips and reaching out to grab her hands. He caressed them, squeezing them in reassurance as he made sure not to terrify her further with his terrible choice of words. “No, no of course not!” he said. “I would never. God, don’t think that. I wasn’t- I phrased it wrong. This was not what I wanted to say, at all.”

She relaxed. “Oh.”

“What I was trying to say was, I don’t ever want to lose you. Never. I love you too much for that. You are- okay, I don’t know how- my feelings, they’re complicated. I don’t know how to phrase them or- or understand them. I–“ he grunted in the back of his throat, frustrated to the point he considered not trying to find the words to say what he felt, but he was already too deep in to pull out now. “I think…” he fidgeted with her fingers instead of his own now, “You are, by far, the best person I have ever met and you make me so fucking happy, but also so fucking scared something might happen to you. I might be traumatized after what happened, and I’m sorry if I scared you by being scared, I just don’t ever want to feel so empty again.”

Her heartbeat was still racing out of her chest.

“I’m in love with you, Eliza,” he said, “I’m so in love with you, it hurts. And I just realized that you — insufferable, reckless you — might just be the only one for me. You are… you are the love of my life, and I don’t say that lightly because well, I have no fucking idea what’s going on inside of me, I just know that you are all I feel and it scares the crap out of me.”

The tears were streaming down her cheeks at this point and he didn’t have time to comprehend before her lips were on his. He held the back of her head, cradled her cheek, and drowned in the love she poured into a single kiss.

“I thought you were breaking up with me,” she said.

“I’m sorry, that wasn’t–“

“I’ve never been in love before, so I don’t know much about it, but I do know one thing,” Eliza held his face in her hands as she admitted what had been on her chest for so long, “You are my first and I want you to be my last, which means that you’re the love of my life too and you’re not getting rid of me, no matter how many knives to the stomach or- or alien blasts I have to take for you.”

He breathed a broken chuckle. “I’m so fucking happy to hear that,” he said. “But please, for the love of God, don’t ever take a knife or an alien blast for me again.”

“I can promise you a lot, but I can’t promise you that.”

“I know.”

She placed her head in the crook of his neck. “Take me to bed?” she said.

He lifted her into his arms, carrying her to the bedroom where he placed her down softly enough so her stitches wouldn’t get disturbed, and he began to strip her of the suit. She was too tired to protest. He helped her into one of his shirts, soon enough returning with his own suit shed in the bathroom and nothing but his boxers and a white shirt on his body.

As Matt settled into bed next to her, her mind began to reel again. The vulnerable love confession was real. She was the love of his life and he was hers. That much she could tell wasn’t a fever dream. They were real, they were made for each other.

What she didn’t know where to sort were the pictures she saw, the infinity stones, or the creature she saw hiding in the distance. The stones screamed her name and the red one seemed to have screamed the loudest, almost like a warning. She saw the galaxy when she fell, and she places and people she recognized but were never the same. And the lines of glitter she saw, the splitting roads at the core of the universe seemed like they had a deeper meaning too, but she couldn’t sort them all, she couldn’t even sort the different colors or where they belonged. They were just there. They existed. It was real, but perhaps not in her reality and another instead.

“Matt,” she broke the silence. His eyes were closed, but he was still awake. He hummed, telling her he was listening. “Do you believe that there is a multiverse?” the question came out of nowhere, surprising both herself and him.

She had thought about it, but she never thought she would be asking a devoted catholic such a question.

“A what now?” he asked. He frowned and paired with the small smile he gave her he looked way too adorable to be real. She traced her finger over his nose just in case. He shivered. He was real.

“Multiverse,” she said. “Multiple universes existing simultaneously to ours, with different versions of ourselves and a different reality that is under someone else’s control.”

“Like in physics?”

“Yeah, like in physics.”

“Are you asking me if I believe in the string theory, physics, or the possibility of multiple universes in my personal opinion?”

He was just toying with her now, not taking her words too seriously. Considering how tired he was, she couldn’t blame him, and her question sounded too absurd to come out of her rather educated mouth. He blamed it on the concussion, surely, which was why he entertained her thought with amusement. She was serious though and she wanted to know because she was slowly losing her mind, it seemed. She needed to stop herself from splitting in two.

“Can’t you just answer with what you think?” Eliza looked at him intently, her gaze burning through his closed lids.

He shrugged. “I don’t know, why?”

“Curiosity. Reality is subjective, after all, and can easily be manipulated. You know what I can do, so I was wondering if you think a multiverse is a possibility that we, as a civilization, should eventually concern ourselves with. It happened with aliens,” she said. “It might happen with the string theory too. It might be proven right. We don’t know.”

“You just answered the question yourself. We don’t know. I guess we’ll find out eventually the same way we found out about life beyond our world. What else do you need?”

“A thought.”

“Do I get a penny?” Matt mused.

She sighed, “Sure.”

“I believe in God, which means there is only our solar system, our planet earth, and our galaxy. There is no other universe but the one we live in,” he told her, “because there is only one God, and how would a civilization in another universe even exist without a God? Now, I know about biology, but evolution is essentially part of the Bible. God can’t be copied, so he wouldn’t be real outside of this world, and a godless universe seems wrong to me. So no, I don’t think we have more than one universe. We’re just fine with the one we’re living in, don’t you think?”

The statement itself deserved more argumentation, but she was too tired to argue and Matt seemed less interested in the topic than she was, anyway.

“So,” he raised his eyebrows, “Answer enough for you?”

Eliza, too tired to protest, pecked his lips. “Yes,” she said.

“Okay then. If philosophical questions are what it takes to keep your concussed brain awake, keep ‘em coming.”

But she didn’t want to talk about it. She wanted to sleep.

“Sleep is off the table,” he read her mind, “It’s too risky.”

“I fell asleep the last time. That was after we had sex, remember? People with concussions shouldn’t have sex either and I am so tired, Matty,” she pouted, “So please, let me sleep.”

He sighed. “Alright,” at the sound of her voice, he could only cave, “but you have to be okay with me waking you every ten minutes to make sure you’re still alive.”

Placing her head on his chest, Eliza inhaled his scent and felt his heart under her fingers. Real. Everything was real.

“That’s okay,” she was already yawning, half asleep.

Placing her head on his chest, Eliza inhaled his scent and felt his heart under her fingers. Real. Everything was real.

His soft 'I love you' was all she heard before she fell asleep.

#matt murdock #daredevil #foreigner's god #matt murdock smut #matt murdock x ofc #matt murdock angst #matt murdock fic #daredevil fic #matt murdock x oc #matt murdock x female!oc #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock imagines #human disaster matt murdock

17 notes · View notes

blakecooley · 2 years ago

Text

2022

I had a good year but I feel old this week. It feels as if I’ve aged very suddenly or just now realized that the past 20 years have happened. I’m sure sometime in the future I’ll be able to look back and recognize how but, for now it just feels like this year was different. I feel like I woke up this year. Some things became clearer and others twisted into half remembered dreams. They all came and went with the year, yet devastating clarity still eludes me.

I moved this year. I left beautiful friends and family in Illinois. Saying goodbye to people who helped me love myself felt like abandonment. Long distance relationships are hard. But, I moved. Hopefully for school though, even if that doesn't work out the way I’d like, I still feel like I’m supposed to end up here. If I can stay here I can stay here. (I found out in the Summer that the house we live in was built in the 1890s. Later, in the Autumn, my neighbors told me that that’s when the houses here were incorporated and were likely built even earlier than that. That’s not pertinent to anything, I just think it’s neat.) I like living at the foot of the mountains. Every morning when I stumble outside for a cup of coffee and a cigarette I can just barely make out the shape of their tops. Searching down from the heavens for the horizon it’s where the black gets dark, where the giant maw of ancient stone devours the stars. Then, with the rising sun, the ash of nighttime shakes into the valley, settling among the banks of creeks and the floors of the forest. Pinks, greens, blues and whites radiate in its place. Every day, the mountains sleep and the forest wakes up. A stunning compass lies to the west. I think I can picture dying here some years down the line. This hilly area at the feet of the militarily hollowed out Cheyenne Mountain, my neighborhood, helps me forget that the rest of the city exists. I like it here and I’m comfortable.

I started a new job this year and left the best paying, most consistent job I’ve ever had. Seeing that neither of them are in the restaurant industry though I think I can officially say that I’m out of that field for good and I’ll call it even. I recognized that people in my generation talk about jobs with this thorny, intertwined care and fear gripping their throats. Where are you working now? (Are your bills paid?) Do they pay pretty good? (Do you have enough to eat?) Do you like it alright? (Do they say your name right? Are you sleeping okay? Can you situate yourself under the pressure? Can you breathe?) People are sweet. A job is simply survival. Rote emptiness. An exaggerated, almost satirical performance of tasks that don’t need to be done to produce things that no one asked for. More and more of us recognize now that most of our jobs only exist to feed the cycle of over-production and that adhering to the practice of it only sustains the dominance of capitalism. A job is simply survival. People are sweet.

I got Covid again this year. I refinished my guitar, replacing its plastic white and sunny yellow with an ash black and wine-dark red. It feels more appropriate now. Within the first month of moving here I broke up and turned over the backyard in preparation for planting wildflowers in the Spring. I started taking my religious and spiritual thoughts more seriously. I guess I have something similar to what people describe as “faith in a higher power” now. Born again. Lol. I started meditating more. I got through the worst flu I’ve ever had in my life. I caught, raised and am permanently enamored with Cerce, my pet black widow. I made friends with the neighborhood cats. I made friends with Stephanie’s dog, Rourke, who in past visits refused to let me walk across the house. I left beautiful friends and a beautiful family in Illinois. I left my perfect and very cool niece and nephew. I left some of the most loving, and actively supportive people I’ve ever known. I moved in with one of my favorite people in the world. No matter where I’ve lived this year I’ve felt deeply loved. (I hate the feeling that all of this puts inside my chest. Feeling loved is hard for me.) I drove across Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas and Colorado by myself in a moving truck. I cried through a lot of that. I felt loved then. I slept in Lincoln, NE for the third time in my life. I handled some pretty serious depression more constructively and healthily than I ever have in my life. Pretty proud of that one. Stayed alcohol free for another calendar year. Very proud of that one. I wrote, but did not record, about 90% of an atmospheric black metal album that challenged me a lot as a guitar player and musician. I have met and made more friends this year than probably any other year of my adult life. I started to write more. Learned how to better recognize and set reasonable expectations for managing my social anxiety. (Someday I’ll be able to leave the house and go to new places that are full of new people without needing a panic planning session but I’m not there yet and that’s okay.) I had a handful of moments of clear, singular thought this year and I had a few of what I call cosmic moments this year. The freedom of insignificance is intoxicating. (That’s pretentious as fuck. (Recognizing it in an aside, doubly so.)∞ )

I grew a lot this year. Physically, emotionally, and socially. 2022 was my first full calendar year of being on hormone replacement therapy. For someone my age with the naturally high testosterone levels that I seem to have been gifted, progress is slow. Change happens at its own pace and is best left to proceed undisturbed. HRT has taught me about patience. I fucking hate patience and I don’t want to learn, I just want my own body.

Given the circumstances, this was a good year for me. However, I can recognize and understand only some of the privileges that are wrapped up in that fact. I survived when others didn’t. I was invited openly and freely to avenues, streams and halls where spectres of the decades gone “Whites Only” signs still hang. My hands were clasped warmly and with welcome to nationwide secret clubs of 'good old boys' because my cowardice or self-preservation wouldn’t let me squeak out a correction. Being white, 6’2” with a permanent five o’clock shadow and a passing knowledge of internal combustion engines goes a long way towards survival. But it comes with the cost of shame and the fear of the price of being found out as a liar. People died here this year. Right across town, for being just like me. They died because, for at least one night, they chose to be honest. They chose the joy and the weightlessness of letting themselves be exactly who they were and they were killed for it. Against this I must temper the gauge of my year. Under the intentionally foggy and marred lens of capitalism I'd be led to believe that the unrelenting threat of fascism, violence, death, inhuman expectations of work, starvation, inadequate shelter, imprisonment, and sexual violence are isolated from one another and that each only affects us in singular and individual ways. But in working toward understanding liberation I become a detective, revealing the threads that bind us together and following the beacons left by those who came before me. I live in a world shaded by a tightly woven and self-replicating network of violence. I can’t recognize that my year was successful without also recognizing that it was only made so because the price for it was paid by others. But looking for all of this and to see it doesn't demand listless, defeated despair but it demands instead my efforts toward dismantling it and my joy and mirth in doing so. I can’t unlearn what I’ve been shown and to see and understand the violence of capitalism and to then do nothing is active participation in that violence. I will act. I will put what energy, resources and knowledge that I have toward building, creating and encouraging the beautiful world that I want to live in.

The change of the year is arbitrary and speaking of the coming year as a thing, a noun, some manifested eldritch terror gives authority to what’s basically a mathematical construct. So, I’ll make no goals and speak no wishes for it. I’ll be joyful. I’ll be kind. I’ll be strong. I’ll set broad goals and work toward them deliberately to give them shape. I’ll get through this upcoming year just as all the ones before; one day at a time.

I had a good year. Yet devastating clarity still eludes me.

#2022 #writing #queer writer #recap #writers on tumblr #non binary writer #summary #purple prose #prose #2023 #new years

7 notes · View notes

collectionbelladonna · 2 months ago

Text

one day at a time.

I know what I have to do to turn my life around. I know that I'll have to make sacrifices and I'm willing to do so, I just wish it didn't feel like I'm scraping my way into a black hole. I owe so much money it's painful. I'm not out of any of my debt and I'm accruing interest like no one's business. It really sucks when I can't afford to do anything I want to do, or anything I planned to do. I'm trying to make some money on the side but it's slow going. I've only ever sold three paintings in my life and this one (while worth the most) is being sold to my sister. I fear she won't actually pay for the painting and will want is as a gift. I'm going to charge $300 for it. I'm spending a lot of time and a lot of effort on this thing when I also have a dozen other projects I'm intending to work on.

Suffice to say, I have a lot of work to do. I plan on doing a no-spend month. Starting yesterday, I am not going to spend a single dollar that isn't extremely essential. Namely, gas. I am not going to drive anywhere except work for the next two weeks. I have faked being sick the last couple of days to avoid having to drive anywhere. My car needs gas desperately and I have some cash to cover it, but only it. I can't afford anything other than gas right now. Until I get paid again on the 21st, I'm shit out of luck. And I refuse to ask Hutch for more help. He's already paid my car insurance (which I thankfully cut in half earlier this month), but I do not want him to pay for anything else if I can avoid it. I already life for free under this roof. I pay for my bills and little else. I've been the one who's decorated our apartment, and I pay for majority of the TV subscriptions we use on a regular basis, but other than that I don't pay for anything. Rent, utilities, groceries (most of the time) are completely covered by Hutch. And it sucks when I'm left feeling like I can't do anything but pay for bills. I need to start saving my money. As soon as this next paycheck comes through, I'm paying for my government loan, and putting $300 into my savings. Every second paycheck I think I can do that. Logically, I should have around $975 left over once all bills and expected expenses go through. So where has that money gone? Well, I was atrocious in August. I spent so far over my means it's actually embarrassing. Now my credit card is maxed out, I'm late on one loan, and I'm barely scraping by for this month. I am paying for my recklessness. I shouldn't have flown to Louisiana. I shouldn't have splurged so much on coffee. I also shouldn't have spent so much on supplies for the Renaissance fair costume I'm making for Hutch (which I have yet to start, btw.) I made such poor decisions that I am suffering now because of them.

So, to combat this, I've decided to do a no-spend month this month. Which means what isn't already allocated for bills and/or the single going-out day I have planned, I am not spending a dime. I've unsubscribed to most of the subscriptions I had. I am not planning on going anywhere but work. I have to get my car inspected and renew my registration, but other than that, I'm doing *nothing*. I'm not paying for coffee, I'm not going to Walmart or Target unnecessarily, I'm not going to Adele's every other weekend like I used to (only to spend so much money in gas and food), and I'm certainly not going to do any online shopping. No Amazon, no app purchases, nothing. I am going to fix this situation if it's the last thing I do. I have to be more disciplined if we ever expect to move in a house or if I expect to be able to take care of myself without needlessly needing Hutch's financial help.

I can do this. Honestly I need to. I don't have much choice in the matter because my entire situation has been nothing short of embarrassing for years. And it ends now. It ends with me saying enough. It ends with me finally seeing the light that I can live a good and fulfilling life without all the extra crap in the way. I can do this.

0 notes

ninjastormhawkkat · 8 months ago

Note

When Matthew finally gained consciousness, he was surprised to see his husband standing over him. Reddened eyes, looking absolutely disheveled. “Love?” He managed to croak out. Carl had carefully pulled him into a hug. “Oh thank goodness! You're awake! Please don't move so much. You're still recovering.” There was a bitter angry tone in his voice. “I found you in time, before those horrid people did anything more to you. I'm so sorry I didn't find you any sooner than I had.” Matthew attempted to speak but Carl shushed him before he could. “Your throat is going to be sore, my love. More than sore. They had to put a breathing tube in your throat combined with how much you've been screaming out in pain from the torment those vile beings made you endure. You're safe now. You're going to be okay. You're safe now, I promise. You'll remain safe. They'll never bother you again. I'll make sure of that, believe me.” Carl had finally released Matthew, allowing him to lay back onto the hospital bed. “The doctor here, they knew how to treat you. I'm taking a guess how but I'll leave that discussion for later. She's really kind. The first to actually jump at the chance at treating you.” He took hold of Matthew's bandaged hand, gently placing it to his cheek. Nuzzling into his hand with tenderness. “You're going to be in here for a good while. I know you can't stand being in hospitals and how much you dislike doctors, but please. For your own good, please bear with it for now.” At that, Matthew had barely nodded which caused him to wince in pain. “Careful, you've got many injuries which are healing.” Carl looked like a mess, Matthew didn't want to know how much of a wreck he looked himself quite yet. “You're never going to be put through that ever again. You're safe from now on. I promise you. They will never get the chance to go near you. I'll make extra sure of it.” There was a slight growl to Carl's voice when he spoke of them as well as a dark, stormy look in his eyes. They said that the scientist had indeed meant every word. It took alot to bring out such rage in his husband and the actions of his tormentors had indeed done that. They spent the next few minutes in silence. Carl's dark expression shifts into one of sadness. Hating that Matthew was put through such an ordeal over something that wasn't his fault in the slightest. How dare they harm his beloved Matthew. Especially when the only crime he committed was being the same species as the ones who invaded Earth. That's it. It was horrifying for Carl to watch as Matthew was dragged by a car that was speeding by. His husband had already passed out from what they've done to him. The demon hybrid had loathed the fact he couldn't save Matthew right away. Having to call the police to deal with them first before getting Matthew the proper medical aid he needed. He memorized the faces of each and everyone involved in the incident. Those he didn't see, Carl had enough of a presence in the city that they had given him the information on everyone else. They were going to pay for what they've done to his wonderful husband. Having done nothing to deserve the agonizing pain they've put him through. A tear had fallen from his eye, Matthew gently wiped it away. Holding onto Carl's face lovingly. As much as he didn't want to, Carl needed to get going. “I'm sorry, my love. I have to get going. Now that you've woken up. I can go deal with some business. I will come back as soon as I'm able to, okay? I won't leave you alone for very long. Just long enough for this. Alright?” Matthew had thought it was something to do with hospital bills and such. Maybe even having to deal with the hospital staff because of him being an alien. Either way, he hoped it didn't give Carl much trouble. Matthew gave a slight nod before Carl carefully placed his hand onto the bed. “I love you. I love you so much. I'll be back soon. Relax and let the pain medicine do its work.” With that said, Carl left with a dark and determined expression on his face.

ooo yes love this Don't worry Matthew, Carl will take care of everything.

1 note · View note

clumsiestgiantess · 10 months ago

Text

I don’t know why or how but this comic started a story in my head and I’m compelled to write it.

It had been a very long shift. Already, three separate people had either yelled at you or told you that you were wrong about something, and you hadn’t even gotten your break yet. “Next,” you call tiredly after the last customer wanders off. The next person in line is.. strange. They keep glancing around nervously like they’re trying to steal something, but they’re checking out, so they aren’t. Dark bags hang under their eyes like they haven’t slept in at least a week.

Multiple items you only wish you had the money for are piled onto the register, as well as a few other more normal tems. The total is about $10,000, but they fork over the money in a stack of crisp 100 dollar bills. You don’t even have the words to react to something like this. It’s real money — you checked with the special ink pen. Maybe they’re so nervous because they just robbed a bank.

“Receipt is in the bag,” you tell them cautiously, plastering on a helpful smile as you hand them the last bag of goods. If they were potentially dangerous enough to do that, you didn’t want to risk calling them out on it until they left. “You too,” they reply, too tired to tell that they weren’t making sense with that answer. Immediately, a sharp sting hits the back of your head. Confusedly, you ask: “What?” “You too.” It’s mumbled as they walk away from the register, still not comprehending. You blink and you’re.. definitely not where you were.

The entire room shifts and swings, and the floor slides around beneath you. You yelp as you're thrown against a wall of thin slick plastic. Only after the swaying stops can you take the chance to figure out where you might be, and the answer is something truly terrifying. Looking up, you find that the view through the open hole at the top of the strange plastic room is exactly like that of a shopping bag — the shopping bags from the store you work at, to be exact. There’s the last customer you just rung up, gigantic and completely unaware.

Fear claws at your throat and you scream before you can think through the potential consequences. The customer’s head snaps around towards the bag, and they dig in. Their fingers are longer than you are tall. You scramble away from them as they nearly miss hooking you into a gigantic grasp. Then, they spot you. As if in slow motion they seem to recognize what happened, eyes widening so much you can barely see the sleep-deprived markings beneath their eyelids. “Wh.. what happened?” they murmur, “I- Oh. Oh shit.” They press their palm heavily against their face and groan as they drag both their hands down it, letting go of the bag you’re in. “I said ‘you too’ didn’t I? As in you are in the bag too.”

It sounded like a horrifically bad joke, but in joke context, your situation made at least a little bit of sense. “H- Hello?” you stammer, “What did you just say?” The customer turns to look down at you, and you inadvertently hug the wall behind you. “It’s.. a long story,” they sigh. “I found a real genie, and I’m really starting to regret it. I thought I could bypass the whole ‘three wishes’ thing — which isn’t even true! They only give you one wish! But anyway, I tried to cheat the system by wishing that I can have whatever I say. It sounds good theoretically, but now that I actually have it… it’s kinda like a midas’ touch, you know? It seems pretty cool until you realize how easily you can screw up using it.”

“What do you mean…” you whisper, dreading the answer. “You said that and now I’m just.. like this?” They guiltily glance away, “I guess so.” There are about a million questions and scenarios and curse words you’re thinking of right then, but the only thing you actually manage to say is: “Oh, is that why you had so much money?” They nod, glancing at you again. “Yeah. One of the first things I said was to be able to pay for anything I wanted to buy. And.. not needing sleep. That hasn’t worked out in my favor, as you can probably tell.”

“Wait, wait, hold on,” you interject, finally beginning to wrap your head around the confusing situation. “So you have literal magic, right? Just say I can go back to my real size and we can move on with this!” Guilt again distorts their features, and your stomach drops in preparation for bad news. “I… I can’t,” they tell you. “Like, the same reason you can’t let yourself go back to sleeping?” you ask, “The magic won’t let you?” “Oh no! It’ll let me undo stuff!” they gasp, “I don’t want to try telling myself to be tired or sleep, because I’m a bit scared I’ll make myself fall asleep until I tell myself to wake up — which I can’t really do if I’m sleeping.” Nervous laughter rings a bit too loudly in the air. “So, undo my curse at least!” you tell them on the verge of insistence. “It’s nothing personal,” they begin, “and it’s not that I don’t want you to be tiny, but… I can’t let you go now that you know all this. What if you blackmail me? Or tell the government? They’ll probably try to experiment on me or use me or something!” “Call the government?” you scoff, “What?! No! Just- Just turn me back to normal! I won’t say a word! You.. seriously aren’t going to leave me like this, are you?” The customer — your captor — closes their eyes and sighs long and loud. “I’m sorry. You’re just going to have to stay like that. I can’t risk it.”

Be careful what you say

#rip to this unwilling tiny tho #hopefully the customer will learn to trust them #(after some g/t hijinx first)#g/t #giant/tiny

2K notes · View notes

uncouth-the-fifth · 3 years ago

Note

imagine damian and the reader at the wayne gala. he gets jealous when he sees her flirting with someone else. he ends up pulling her into a bathroom and fucking her in front of a mirror while saying that other person can’t treat her like he does

and that’s how the reader finds out damian has feelings for her. all this time he acted like he hates her because he’s in denial

Title: More Than They Ever Said

Paring: Robin!Damian (18+) / Canary!Reader

Tags/Warnings: semi-public sex, oral (f receiving), vaginal sex, bathroom sex, slight underage drinking (reader is like 20 lol), mentions of golf.

Word Count: 7150

Notes: sooooo.... this def evolved beyond a drabble lol. the way gala sex kills me every time 😭 I was a little mushy w Dami here bc I miss his sweet side. This also sounded a lot like goldenspecs12's request from Wattpad, so I hope you don't mind that I meshed the two together 😚 I leaned toward Damian liking the reader more than being in denial, but that’s the only thing I sacrificed between the two requests. This one is my fluffiest and most romantic yet 💖

"can I request Damian w a Queen reader, like she's Oliver and Dinah's child? say the reader is a hero but not very active, like she comes in when her parents can't. so when she and Damian meet, they hit it off. The main request is that they sneak away at a gala held by Oliver and the reader and Damian have sex."

Ask to be added to my taglist for future posts!

The party was more fun than you thought it would be.

Benefits were usually chalk-full of old, wealthy people that thought they made good conversationalists. The board members of Queen Industries were tired of Oliver trying to escape their claws, so you’d been recruited in his place. While your dad got to play minigolf in the penthouse’s massive party floor, you were confined to the lounge, playing up what an intelligent, capable business partner you’d be when you were CEO. Fellow businessmen gruffed about their plans with you while their wives cooed and drank, pinching your cheeks.

You thought that you’d hate it, but the attention and the praise was nice. It made you feel like you were helping your dad and your family’s company, which was constantly criticized and judged for it’s choice in CEO. Everyone called your father a lazy silver-spooned idiot, but he was one of the only men in Star City who actually cared. By the time you had Q.I’s biggest donors laughing out of their seats, Dinah’s hands slipped over your shoulders and you were kissed on the side of the face. Thank you, she mouthed, and your position as family support-beam was covered.

Since most of the benefit-goers were at least forty years your senior, you gravitated to your dad. From the penthouse’s upper balcony, you could see his friends circling around the tiny green mats they were using as a makeshift golf course. Usually, Ollie made sure his public persona’s aim was as garbage as his taste in drink was. But tonight, he played as Green Arrow, who never missed. Not once. Especially when it came to Bruce Wayne, who’s golf game was abysmal at best.

But like Oliver, Bruce was a new man tonight. It looked like he was ready to break out the batarangs any minute now. The two men were barely civil about the viciousness of their competition, and if the view of the game from the balcony was interesting, then from below it must’ve been the greatest show of fragile masculinity ever displayed. You had to make fun of them.

The only opening in the circle of men, who all had their hands on their chins as Bruce lined up his next shot, was by the floor-to-ceiling windows to one side of the game. Just one man stood there, hands in his pockets. You slid next to him, unbothered, and squinted at the game.

Everyone in the crowd was dead silent. Bruce was lining up his golf ball so it would roll into a mug a couple of feet away, so you helpfully provided, “A little to the left, Mr. Wayne.”

Your words overlapped with someone else’s. Where you had said Mr. Wayne, they had said Father. Then the man next to you was his son, but...

You would have never guessed it would be him.

Reasonably, you knew that Robin was Damian Wayne. Oliver could be a little loose-lipped at times, and by his judgment you’d been a teenager just a year ago - what could a twenty year old do to Batman’s secret identity? Not much.

Until you saw Robin without his mask.

Damian was achingly beautiful. He was your age, but he stood and talked like he was much older. There was an angle to his shoulder that made him seem astute and sexy. His eyes fixed on you when you spoke at the same time, and they were a surprising mossy color that jumped out against his tan skin, like plants flourishing out of rich soil. There was just enough blue in them to make him seem haunting. Any moment, you felt like he was going to corner you and whisper your future throatily in your ear.

Looking into them, those piercing eyes, for longer than a second made you want to blurt, “You’re much prettier without your mask.”

But that would expose his secret to every golf-loving idiot in earshot, so Oliver had been wrong. A twenty-year-old like you could do fatal damage to Batman’s secret identity, but for Damian, the short-tempered, snappish leader of the Teen Titans, you would risk anything.

Damian stared, and you stared. He squinted, wet his lips, then turned back to the game. This was your only acknowledgment that he recognised you. His voice was deeper, smoother, than you remember it. “Queen.”

You shifted in your shoes, almost laughing in shock. “...Wayne.”

The game grew boring and Damian didn’t say anything else, so you said nothing too, sneaking glances at him. The last time you’d spoken to Robin had been in costume, when he’d thanked you for assisting with a mission. He’d really been thanking you for standing up for him. You didn’t team up often with the Titans, but when you did, you found that they were unusually snappy and mean with their leader. Not necessary on purpose, but you could tell that Damian couldn’t take as many bites as he pretended to. Standing up for him had been a simple thing. The good thing to do. Now, with that look in his eyes, it almost felt like he still thought about it.

He must have, because the kiss you shared at the end of that mission had glowed with heat. To be fair, you both may have believed you were going to die (before the team pulled through and saved you), so it could’ve been a heat-of-the-moment thing. But this was Robin - if he didn't want to kiss you, he wouldn't. And yet he did.

You’d kissed. And the energy of that kiss lingered between you now, drawing you closer together, putting tiny smiles on your faces. He was cute. Cuter without that mask on.

You stood in the stupid golf silence, feeling foolish. Flirting with boys was much easier in fishnets. It didn’t help how fine Damian’s profile was. He had soft, feathery lashes that occasionally touched down on beauty marked cheeks. His lips were even fuller from the side, forever drawn in a curious line. And those eyes, when they caught yours and danced away again, were much too nice to hide behind a mask. You couldn’t get that thought out of your mind.

When Bruce finally made his move, you leaned in to whisper something to each other at the same time, accidentally knocking shoulders.

“I - apologies,” Damian flushed.

“Oh, um, my bad,” you rubbed awkwardly at the spot where you’d collided. “...You were going to say something?”

Damian’s eyes flicked to your fathers, then to you, unimpressed. He lowered his voice so only you could hear. “They’re awfully hypocritical, don’t you think? Father snaps at me everytime I use my skills in public, and yet he’s putting with perfect aim like it’s not the very same.”

Chuckling, you rolled your eyes and scooted closer, ducking your voice into the bubble between your bodies. “My dad’s the same way. Don’t aim in the house, he says, unless it’s him trying to beat Bruce Wayne.”

Your company’s shoulders turned sideways, leaning into you. His breath ghosted the hair on your neck, standing it on end, and again that silky voice sent tingles down your spine. Damian must change his voice as Robin, because he never spoke like this then. So huskily, so low.

He shook his head. “Unbelievable.”

You watched him. He watched you. You ran your tongue over your teeth, and Damian subtly adjusted his slacks from his pockets.

At the same time, you asked each other, “Would you like to get a drink?”

Your hiding place was a loveseat in the lounge, between more businessmen and their ditzy heirs. The bartender was your family’s, so he smiled and turned down your request for a drink, courtesy of your dad’s strictness. Luckily, he didn’t recognise Damian. You watched him order it at the bar, his rings catching the light, the muscle in his arms peeking out from under his blazer.

“I think he suspected I wasn’t of age, so he only gave me one.” He took the place next to you, propping his ankle on one knee and lounging out like a panther. Damian offered the cocktail to you, once he’d decided the coast was clear. It was a cute gesture. “Is that acceptable?”

You fished a five dollar bill out of your purse. “Only if you take this for paying. Don’t think I didn’t see you try and sneakily get that past me.”

Damian scrutinized the bill, then you, somehow managing to be a smartass without opening his mouth. Instead of thinking about how nice it would feel to kiss the slight crease between his brows, you traded hands with him so the bill was in his and the drink was in yours. The gentle brush of you palm to his knuckles put way too many butterflies in your belly.

You talked about everything and anything. About home, family life, your cities. The best of it was when Damian dipped his head so only you could hear him, keeping your secrets close and your bodies closer. This was the only way he talked about Robin, so you circled back to any vigilante subject you could think of just so Damian would keep purring into your ear like that. Better yet, he was smart. Talking to him was engaging, and within minutes he'd entranced you, so you sat there talking for more than an hour. Around you, the party rotated and went on.

At one point, you took a drink of the cocktail and passed it to him to share. Damian placed his lips right where yours had been, licking up the cocktail salt and gulping it down slow, adam’s apple bobbing, like it wasn’t the taste of the vodka he was savoring.

Eventually, your bliss was broken. Damian was called over to his father, again, to discuss business, and he left you with your remaining cocktail and the memory of that mission. You couldn’t find a reason to move from your seat. When you’d realized that you and Robin had been led into a trap on that mission, it’d been too late, and your efforts to escape became more and more futile. All you could do was pray the Titans got to you on time. Robin had offered you his glove as the walls closed in, and you’d watched up-close as he assumed you were both about to die. The fear in his eyes was strange - like it was familiar to him. At the same time, you cupped his neck and he held your upper back, and you’d kissed fervently, sweetly.

Damian had put his forehead to yours, and promised even as the trap shrunk around you, “You were excellent. More excellent than they ever said.”

In the big picture, it was a strange last remark to make, and afterwards you’d been too happy about surviving to think about it. But in the moment, you understood. You were understood. Somehow, Damian had reached into your soul and gouged out the words you’d been dying to hear, from your parents, from anyone, and uttered them to you with burning conviction. Maybe it was the adrenaline, or maybe he meant it. Damian found you excellent. Someone, somewhere, didn’t think you were a failure.

Odd, how you’d never seen the face of the man you thought you’d die with (until now), and yet he saw you so easily. You watched him follow his father into the party crowd now, wondering. The Titans had saved you before you could ask what he’d meant. More importantly, before you could tell him the same. He was excellent.

Once you’d finished off your drink, you left it at the bar and grinned evilly at your family bartender. He rolled his eyes and slyly delivered you another, which, on your superhero schedule, would not have you drunk yet. Another heir to some big company was seated at your right, ignored by his father enough to look for some small talk with you.

He was one of the cute, nerdy types that were usually in awe of you. Girls, available girls, were typically rare at these kinds of parties, so he took you not having a boyfriend as permission to flirt with you. Unfortunately for him, your seat gave a perfect angle on Damian across the party floor. He was impressing the wives of Wayne business partners, who flocked around him like they’d flocked around you, pinching his cheeks. You could almost read their lips enough to guess what they were saying. What a handsome young man you are! Oh, Bruce must be so proud.

“...and then my father flipped over his kayak! Would you believe it? Two thousand dollars, thrown right in our family’s lake.” Your company snickered, howling at his own story.

You circled the rim of your glass, watching how Damian tried to teach some of the women phrases in Arabic. Unknown to them, they were some pretty funny swear words. It threw you into a bout of giggles, and the man next to you kept talking, spurred on by the noise.

The flock of hens around Damian receded, and his shoulders slouched in relief. That was cute, too. It wasn’t often that people understood how draining these parties were, but for people like you and Damian, it was a racetrack of endless, boring circles. Everything was a formality. Few things were genuine. Damian turned, and you caught his eye to let him know you were going to meet him. He nodded toward a side hall, his mouth a curious line again. If you looked at it long enough, it felt like a smile when he mouthed, escape?

Your company was still talking. He stopped when you grabbed his tie and planted a pity-kiss on his cheek, waving to him as you bounced away. “Sorry, kid. Not my type.”

You planned to bring Damian to the secluded balcony on the second floor to unwind, but instead, you were taken by the wrist and maneuvered into an empty powder room. It was colder than the steaming party air and smelled like champagne, with couches to sit on and mirrors to powder at. For a bathroom, the lights were warm and low. The noise of the party went quiet the instant the door was shut, like you and Damian had entered your own little world. No more circles. No more back and forth.

“Here,” Damian said, noting the mirrors. He tilted his head as he asked, like he was nervous, “Is this acceptable?”

“It is the ladies powder room, but I’ll give you a pass, since you’re cute.” You joked. Damian didn’t make a move to relax on one of the couches yet, hanging in front of you like there was more he wanted to say. There was more you wanted to say, too, but no good words came to mind.

But the silence wasn’t awkward. Again, Damian stared, and you stared. The glass he brought with him was set down. He put one fist on the counter beside the door, and like honey had been poured on your nerves, you realized how easy it would be for him to push you up against it. Kiss you senseless. Heat drooled off of him this close, and you wondered if he’d still lean in to whisper to you even if you were alone.

The lack of words drew to a point where something had to be said, anything, but his eyes felt so good on your skin and it was interesting to see him nervous. Something strange told you that Damian liked the silence, too.

You wet your lips with your tongue. Damian cleared his throat, and took a sip from his glass. “Was I interrupting something?”

“Between me and that guy?” You smiled gently, like you were reassuring him, and laughed to yourself. “Oh, man, you should’ve seen it, Damian. Poor kid really thought I was flirting with him. He’d totally convinced himself, it was hilarious.”

His profile was tense in the mirror, which you stole glances at to watch how the amber light played on his handsome skin. When Damian swallowed his drink, his throat rolled in the sexiest way, and immediately your mind fed you with visions of suckling, kissing, tonguing his neck.

“Why’d you ask?” Your eyes sparkled. Damian drew a step closer, and you used the opportunity to swipe a drop of alcohol from the corner of his lip with your thumb. “You jealous?”

It was the touch or the suggestion that made Damian pause. He didn’t stutter, but lagged over what to say, eyes vast and wanting as they raked over your face. “I don’t get jealous,” he clarified, “but… I do intend to be the only man to kiss you tonight.”

Damian’s hand took your chin. Your belly exploded with instant arousal, hitting you like a bullet of liquid lust. “You’re the only man who’s kissed me like that,” you whispered, taking his tie in hand. “I hope that’s always true.”

His voice had gone throaty. “May I kiss you again?”

Again, he reminded you.The two of you had kissed before, and it had been spectacular, terrifying, and excellent.

“Please,” you said, and Damian rushed to your aid.

Not a moment more was wasted. Curling his tie into your fist, you drew him in, slow and deep and wonderfully. Damian’s cologne hit you before his lips did, and both made your core throb for friction. Two broad hands slammed your hips into the door. His fingertips smoothed up the fabric of your dress, pressing you back and squeezing you in until you could feel his belt buckle against your belly. Damian was a sweet, magnetic kisser, chasing your lips like he was on a crusade to save them. Each time they met, he swam deeper. The point of his nose bumped against your cheek. You hummed your laugh against his lips, and Damian groaned as he pulled away, readjusting, twisting, testing the limits of the kiss. And you followed him at every step or more, revelling in his taste.

You didn’t want him to think you wanted the kiss to end, so you drew the hands braced under his blazer around his neck. Soon, that didn’t feel close enough, so you cupped each side of his face and pecked Damian until you were breathless. He brought you in until your arms were flat to his chest, the kiss almost vertical in its intensity.

He groaned when you parted, gasping and blinking just inches from your face. Your mouths were still connected by a thick string of drool, which hung until it split and clung to Damian’s chin and fell, marking a wet strip down into his collar. You panted, watching it go.

Damian left your waist to hold your wrists, keeping your hands around his face. He settled warmly into your touch, basking in it, and the pure enjoyment on his face made you smile. You wondered if anyone else had cared for him like this. If Damian had ever felt someone hold his face and treasure it. The thought gave you a strange urge, so you followed it.

You brought Damian’s brow level with your mouth and sweetly kissed his forehead. Then his nose bridge, then his temples. His face was so quickly warm that you giggled. In the most unsubtle way possible, Damian drew back his hips so you couldn’t feel the heat there, and closed his eyes, begging you to continue.

“I want you,” you whispered against his jaw.

Damian shivered. “You have me.”

You shifted one hand to his shoulder, giving yourself more room to nuzzle and kiss his neck. The line of drool was still there, so you cupped his skin and tilted his jaw up, and in one stroke, licked all the way to his earlobe. Damian’s moan poured from his mouth like a growing flood. You even felt his thighs press together between you, and pleasure tingled in your throat when he choked at the glide of your tongue.

He released your wrists, reached beside you, and locked the door with an audible click.

Then, Damian devoured you. Both hands hooked around your back, arching your chest into his, and finally, bringing his bulge between your hips. You clung to him for dear life, helpless as his teeth pressed into your neck like a vampire. Damian fed like one, too, suckling the skin there like he was starved. Your panties were so wet that you were desperate to get out of them, grinding your core against his.

Damian retreated, gasping. He licked the spit off of his lips and glared into your eyes. Bluntly, he said, “I want to eat you out.”

Once more, you kissed him, delirious with excitement. Your lungs burned for air, but your core burned harder for him. “Take off that suit and you can do whatever you want to me.”

His eyes gleamed. “I plan to.”

Quickly, you shoved your hands into his sleeves and pushed them off his shoulders, giving you a crisp glimpse at his carved shoulders. Damian's fingers blurred from button to button, but he saved the last for you on purpose. You worked in tandem and with little thought. If he could, Damian would steal a kiss, and you would bite his lip and chase him into more. When that last button was popped, his white button-down parted for a gorgeous plane of hard-earned muscle. His abs, ribs and pecs were pockmarked with scars, shrapnel marks and in some places, bullet holes. You stopped.

At your staring, Damian pressed his lips together.

“It's.. not appealing, I know,” he monotoned.

“No,” you disagreed, palming his stomach, “it’s impressive. All these do is show how strong you are, how long you've survived. You're so… built...” you didn't hide your thorough examination of him, “...I mean, we have to be to do what we do, but still… It suits you. It's sexy.”

You worried you'd ruined the moment with your babbling, but he glimmered under your praise. Damian brightened in the way only Damian could, smirking devilishly and towering over you like a supervillain.

“Sexy?” He pressed his naked chest into yours, whispering hotly in your ear. You could feel his silk tie pinned between you. “Does that mean I'm your type?”

You rolled your eyes. “Eavesdropper.”

“Temptress,” Damian replied, just as easily.

To claim your title, you found Damian's belt and pulled on it until the clasp gave. It made a satisfying whipping noise as you ripped it off of him, shouldered into his space to grab his waist in one hand, and cupped his throbbing boxers in the other. Damian's sigh came hoarsely and wanton from his mouth.

“Fuck me,” you demanded, grinning with delight.

Instead of wasting time on a response, Damian fell to his knees, a faithful worshipper. He did the gentlemanly thing and helped you kick off your heels. The tile was icy on your bare feet, but it only mattered until Damian ran his hands up your thighs. Sliding his fingers underneath the fabric, he bunched it up your middle, peering up at you smugly through his lashes. You could feel the debauchery of it - Damian, on his knees, tie hanging still from his neck, pinning you to the door. You, your legs spread and wanting.

Damian sucked in a breath. Your panties had an obvious wet patch, put there by him. He thumbed it carefully, watching your brows tense and your eyes close, basking in your initial whine. All of it enchanted him. You were soaking because of him, trembling because of him, marked because of him. There was not one place he would rather be than here.

Damian collected your sweetness and sampled the taste on his thumb, trapping it behind his smug smile. He ran his tongue over his teeth, spreading the flavor around his mouth, savoring it. As Damian rolled your underwear down your legs, his cock twitched in his open fly. You were beautiful. Oh, he was going to enjoy this.

“Put your leg over my shoulder,” Damian ordered, smirking, “I want to taste you.”

Warmth exploded in your cheeks. “G-go ahead.”

Gradually, you situated your leg across his back, pussy tensing at the touch of the cooler air. This didn't matter for long. Damian's warm lips nuzzled and kissed the thigh closest to him, painting messy reflective circles on your skin with his kiss. Even that made your legs tense wildly, so Damian shoving his wet, blazing tongue into the folds of you cunt pumped moan after moan from your mouth.

“Damian!” You yelped.

Oh, he definitely liked that. Damian pinched your ass and used his mouth so passionately that his head shook back and forth. He darted right for your clit, sucking it until his cheeks were hollow and humming smugly between your legs with every squeal. Parting your folds with one hand, Damian kissed your core just as dirtily as he'd kissed you. The dangerous glint in his eye never faded. He plunges his tongue inside you in earnest, slurping obscenely, purposefully. There's no need for Damian to shoot you cute looks or put on a show - his skill was the performance, because that skill was unbeatable. Your pussy was already tender, fucked nerveless by Damian's filthy mouth. He vibrated your cunt with a deep groan before he drew away, face dripping with slick like a pornstar’s.

“You're suitably wet,” he said, matter-of-factly, “would you like me to use my fingers?”

All the strength you had went into a weak, pleading nod.

Damian was polite enough to grant you your bearings first, letting you grip his hair and squeeze the counter before he resumes. You give him the sweetest, most precious whine when Damian licks you open again. He wisely starts with one finger and builds from there, earning you with pumps and curls of his digits. Damian's talents quickly become a currency, one that you exchange with mewls and pants of praise.

“So good,” you whine, “oh, fuck - fuck, just like that…”

Damian smirks between your legs, jamming his fingers faster into your sore pussy. Lust sizzles low in your gut, ramped up again and again by his thrusting. It’s so powerful that you roll and buck off the door, your hips in his face. You want him - want him more than you want anything.

“You're ravaging,” Damian hums between licks. His eyes are closed, but that only gives the way he touches you more meaning.

It’s so surprising from his mouth that your hold on his hair slips, setting Damian free. He pants, catching his breath, and it’s easily the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen in your life. The effort has slouched him from his knees to his calves, further spreading his legs and opening up the fly of his pants. A solid bulge has formed and spilled out there, straining to escape his briefs like an arm in a sling that’s too small, way too small, for someone of his size. Three of Damian’s fingers are still twisting inside of you.

Slowly, Damian tipped back his head and hung down, arranging himself beneath your cunt. “So beautiful.” His free hand splayed where your leg met your hip. “May I touch you?”

“I-I get it’s the gentleman thing to do, to - to keep asking, but fuck, Damian,” you cursed, “you can do whatever you want to me.”

Damian’s intense jade eyes were so dilated that you could barely make out the color. He dragged his cheek against your thigh, fingers still circling inside you, and grinned like a shark. It was probably a bad idea to give the heir to the Demon’s Head that much power over you.

His other hand squeezed your skin, slow to passionate, from your belly to your breasts beneath your dress. It’s clear by the way Damian looks at you that he loves what he sees. The texture of his veiny, calloused hands feels good on your waist and ass, dragging you closer to him. He chuckles when your back arches, when your nails press into his hands, his back muscles, throwing himself into his task. Damian’s nose prods your folds as he licks you clean, tongue dipping and sliding against your sore clit. It’s like he’s done this for you before, in this exact way. Though he utilizes his tongue the most, his lips too are brutal, matched perfectly to fit your pussy lips.

But that tongue - how Damian’s jaw isn’t tired, you don’t know. He parts your folds and latches onto your clit, flicking his tongue at superspeed until drool and cum bubbles from your sensitive core. Your back winds tighter at every vibrating lick, paralyzing the muscles in your legs with glorious pleasure. It’s so exquisite you start to melt to the floor like warm clay, only to be bolstered back up by Damian, both hands viciously squeezing your ass. He keeps going not for you, but himself, sucking down every last drop of your juices.

Shattered, you twist hopelessly into his mouth, chasing the strained feeling like it’s the last you’ll ever glimpse. “Fuck, fuck - D-Damian, ah…”

“Did it feel good when I made you cum?” He teases, “It certainly tastes good. All those filthy little noises you make for me…” Damian shakes his head at himself, like it’s too fantastic to indulge again. He leaves your clit with a satisfied kiss. “Beautiful.”

Once more, the words are surprising to hear from him. You always considered Damian the prude type, but here he is, on his knees for you, mouth and chin glittering with your juices while he teases you in low, sexy tones. At your surprised look, Damian has the gall to blush.

With his ring finger in his mouth, he ponders, “If a man has never said that to you before...” pop, “consider me surprised.”

“Never while finger-fucking me, at least,” you admited, legs still trembelling. “It was sweet. You… you meant that?”

It was hard to imagine Damian Wayne finding anything beautiful. Even you, who was pretty enamored with him, figured he would judge by quality or skill, not beauty. The words tasted new on his tongue.

Slowly, Damian stood and stretched, his shoulders tight after staying in the strange position for so long. Lifting his arms coincidentally let his waistband sit lower on his hips, flashing his green boxers your way while showing off the huge, carved muscles of his arms. Truly, Damian’s subtlety was unmatched. You didn’t mind his miniature bragging fest - not when he had so much to brag about. Eating you out had put an excited shimmer in his skin, so the gold-toned lights of the room reflected sexily off his sweat, already accenting his kissable tan.

“I did,” he told you, moving on to his sucking middle finger. His other hand played on your thigh, stroking it. “I’ve always been… drawn to you. Every mission we’ve had together. I have a profound feeling that we are very similar.”

You laughed. Not at what he said, but the timing of it. “Would you believe me if I said I felt the same way?”

Damian made a face like his heart was doing jumping jacks. “A few hours ago? No. But now…” he barricaded you against the door, first with his hands and then his hips, closed in so tightly that you had to look past your nose to meet his eyes. “Your crush is adorably obvious. I’m annoyed that I didn’t see it before.”

Your rounded your hands against Damian’s shoulders, then his tie. It twisted nicely around your fingers, silky and cold in comparison to your flushed skin. You were tempted to fix your dress, but nothing, not even the world ending, could make you leave this room.

“My crush is obvious? Damian, all you’ve done for the last two hours is sneak me drinks and imply how much easier it is to be around me.” You grinned, “What’d you say earlier? There you are, Queen. Finally, someone intelligent enough to speak to me.”

Damian shrugged. “It’s true. Your knowledge of bioluminescent ocean life is fascinating.”

“I can’t believe you said that after giving me head for ten minutes.”

“It’s actually been closer to twelve,” Damian smirked.

Playfully, you pinched Damian’s cheek, then pulled him by the tie into a starved, energetic kiss. He must’ve been praying for your permission to continue, because the plan he’d been forming is quickly put into action. You’re hugged, arms scooped under your back as you kiss him. Damian surrenders his mouth to a bit of revenge tonguing while undoing your dress. No amount of kissing will pull him from his task, but your hand is a special case - it smooths down the front of his boxers and Damian melts.

“Y/N,” he groans.

Damian petulantly resists the temptation to close his eyes, but your touch is soft and sweet, demanding him to yield. Your lips suckle on his neck and Damian’s knees buckle. If getting his mouth between your legs didn’t turn him on, then this will finish him for sure.

“I missed you. Kissing you.” You purr into his throat. “One could never be enough for me.”

Is this what it’s like to be wanted? Damian asked himself. The only possible answer thrilled him, and he found himself pouring even more passion into the kiss, into you, wanting to share that rush of affection. You respond to his every touch with vigor. Damian’s heart stalls each time your thumb strokes his face, each time the other strokes him through his slacks.

“Me either,” he rasped, and helped you out of your dress. His tone was shy, but his words held too much depth to be meaningless. I want a wealth of them. I always want to kiss you, was what he wanted to say, but Damian was too embarrassed to raise the words. This moment was too special to ruin with his hopeless romanticism. He kissed you again and again, and to his amazement, you kissed him right back.

“Fuck me,” you begged him between breaths. “Right here. I don’t care if we’re caught.”

I don’t care if we’re seen together. I want to be seen with you, I’m not ashamed of you.

Damian cupped your face and almost knocked you both over with the strength of his kiss. Nose-to-nose, eyes closed, he commanded, “Bend over the fucking counter.”

In a blink, Damian turned and there you were, open and waiting for him. The sink was hip-level, so the bend was nothing but perfect - Damian could fuck you from behind and watch your lust-blown reflection without issue. Your perfect pussy drooled leftover cum down your legs, making your sex shine in the light.

In the mirror, you watched Damian’s eyes darken in delight. His pupils followed the line of your ass to your back, appreciating it like an artist would, like he intended to paint you later and needed to memorize the greatest shapes of your figure. The marble was icy against your hard nipples, which Damian had exposed when he’d impatiently shoved down your bra. Now, he cupped one of your breasts as he bent over you, kissing and suckling his way down your back.

“Perfect,” Damian hissed.

Shyly pressing your butt back against him, you buried your face in your arms and bit your lip, waiting for him to open you up. Damian’s shadow came to hover over you, and in the mirror his eyes were vicious, pools of circling sharks. “Are you ready?”

“Mhm,” you nodded. “Take your time.”

Though you weren’t being sarcastic, Damian took it that way and pinched one cheek of your ass. “With you? I will.” Then, with the same smoothness, Damian asked, “Condom?”

“Pill,” you replied, and Damian nodded his approval.

His pants rustled as they fell down his legs. Where you couldn’t see, Damian committed the sight to memory - his cock in hand, your pussy spread open, all for him. You squeaked when his hot tip touched your cooling clit, and squeaked again when it glided down your pussy and tested your opening. He knew he’d found the way when you winced.

In an unsurprising moment of compassion (for those who truly knew him), Damian kissed the top of your head and offered you his hand. “Would you like to hold it while I…?”

You took his hand and squeezed it to your chest, squeezing him closer in the process, too. “Thank you. Go slow, for this part…”

Damian complied. His sweat-sticky chest hovered warmly over your back. Even if Damian was big, you were wetter than you’d ever been in your entire life - any pain would quickly slide into pleasure. He braced himself with a deep inhale, and a hot, sharp sensation told you that he’d entered you. Where you choked in a needy gasp, Damian poured out his version of a whimper. You both held it. Then, breath by breath, you were struck with the realization that you’d been dying to feel this for weeks, for months, and only now was that heat being satisfied. Damian’s tongue and fingers had come close, but this is what would cure that aching emptiness - his big, girthy cock.

The deathgrip you had on Damian’s hand loosened. “You look perfect,” he murmured into your hair, instantly making your core flutter. “Oh,” he chuckled filthily, “you like that? Funny, how badly that idiot at the bar wanted to be in my place right now…but it’s me who gets to pound into—”

“Damian,” you warned.

He smiled smugly against your neck. “Nothing.”

Dutifully, Damian withdrew his hips, taking all of the heat with him. When he rolled back in, a hot, tingling sensation roared over all of your senses, and you let the moan at the top of that tsunami loose. It was clear that he couldn’t fuck you like he wanted to with one hand fished down at your side, so he glued both to the base of your back and started to thrust in earnest.

“So full...” You mewled, and Damian became a human pile-driver.

Your head seemed to roll off your shoulders with every crazed, rhythmic slam, so you grabbed the faucet and held on for dear life. Every slap was so loud, so powerful, that you prayed this one random bathroom in the penthouse was soundproofed. Anyone walking past would know you were getting railed out of your mind. You tried to compensate by moaning and squeaking quietly, but with force came volume. It didn’t matter how silent you were, Damian’s hips, your ass, the squelch of him inside you - each noise filled the bathroom, echoing off the tile.

The only way you could think to describe him was filling. First, there was the hot, cinching tension of his hands fused to your waist. Then there was his cock, which begged to be squeezed more and more with every pass. You responded to each throb with a mighty clench, which bent Damian over you like an animal, gasping for breath. His balls were painted with your slick. The closer you came to orgasm together, the closer Damian came to you. His hands migrated to higher on your sides, then up by your shoulders, then around you, where Damian kissed your back and rubbed your belly while he made love to you. He talked more than he moaned. Your ear was filled with sweet nothings, with vicious promises of what he would do with a whole night alone with you.

Damian’s reflection was wild with lust. He met your eyes as he fucked you, whispering how beautiful you are, how good you take his dick. His deep green eyes were so dark you couldn’t make out the brown in them anymore. The long muscles on his arms drew taut with each thrust, making his biceps bulge and pin your hips to the sink. Soon enough, a bruise would form from the pressure. One of many treasures from tonight - you would be thinking about Damian in his crisp suit for months to come, and the mess he’d become with you now even longer. Your pleasure built and built and built, like a nail struck further into the ground with a hammer. A very, very big hammer.

“M’ cumming,” Damian husked, slowing his plowing to a sloppy glide. Even his endurance was spent, and you were glad he’d spent it all on you. “Where d’ you…?”

You braced your hands on the counter, then on one of Damian’s. Together, you smoothed his digits down your stomach and between your soft, abused folds. “Inside me, please, please please—” you begged him, “fuck, a-as deep as you can go.”

As a test of your flexibility, Damian turned in and kissed you. Just as he parted your lips with his tongue, he parted your folds with his fingertips, overriding your clit as his cock throbbed inside you to the hilt. He took the invitation as a command. Damian pressed in until you could feel his abs mold to your ass, then stuttered his hips in quick, agonized dips to get himself there. With his fingers and his cock putting stars in your eyes, you finished first.

The white marble counter fizzed in your vision, until all you could see was that powerful, endless white, humming in your mind’s eye. Still, Damian wasn’t finished yet. You bumped your temple against his chin and hummed, “Cum for me, baby… fuck, a-ah!”

Your pussy’s throb raced and raced until it spilled over, pulling Damian right under the current. One clench and he was done for, so the velvety, periodic squeeze of your cunt emptied his store. You hung there, spasming in unison, until that overwhelming heat spurted in a ring around Damian’s cock and flooded out of you. Only then did his fingers stop on your clit, and you settled warmly in each other's arms and tried to remember your names and who you were.

Damian pulled out, then snuggled back in. He would’ve been nervous any other time, but he’d just put his dick inside you, so a little instinctive cuddling could be forgiven. On shaky legs, you turned around and sunk into him. You could tell by how he was eyeing the sink that he was desperate to get clean again, so with one kiss (on the cheek), you set Damian loose.

In companionable silence, Damian cleaned up and you collected the clothes abandoned on the floor. Staring at the corner where you’d just had the best sex of your life put an embarassingly pleasant warmth in your chest. Interesting, how one terrifying moment could become something as special as this. Fascinating, how you’d felt like you’d known him all your life.

“You know… I think you’re excellent, too.” You told him, finishing off the knot for his tie.

Damian dipped his head to hide his smile, but something so bright was impossible to hide.

#damian wayne smut #damian wayne #damian wayne x reader #damian wayne x reader smut #damian wayne x you #robin smut #robin #dc smut #dc comics #dc #user uncouth

3K notes · View notes

amjustagirl · 4 years ago

Text

Love knows not its depth (until the hour of separation)

pairing: Kuroo x f! reader genre: angst / fluff, post timeskip! warnings: a tiny smudge of suggestive content wc: 4.9k m.list ~ taglist. ~

a/n: this is my rendition of a grown up Kuroo. life has been a little hectic for me recently, so i’m only getting around to posting it now. pls be kind and i hope y’all love it <3

“I need a break.”

Kuroo continues to snore. You are unsurprised he doesn’t hear you. After all, he came home glassy eyed, smelling strongly of alcohol after yet another night of drinks with his boss before quickly falling asleep in bed. It’s what he does most weekday nights, leaving you alone at home to manage your two daughters and tuck them into bed.

“I’m tired, Tetsuro.”

You are too tired to even tell him how you feel. You have a career of your own, two daughters to raise, a never ending list of chores and errands that must be done. You are a mother, a wife, a career woman. You have so many roles to play yet there is no space for you.

You must do something, anything or risk your heart imploding in your very chest.

You cannot survive that.

The next morning, you call your boss, ask for a day off. Then you pack your girls off to your mother’s place with two little suitcases with toys and clothes enough for a long weekend before you take the train to Hakone, check yourself into the ryokan with a view of Mt. Fuji that you spent your honeymoon at - except this time, you’re alone (but then again, you’ve been lonely for so long, you hardly notice the difference anymore).

You dip yourself into the hot waters of the onsens, watch bamboo sway in the breeze. It’s been at least a year since you’ve been even able to take a bath uninterrupted. There’s always something - Aiko needing help with her homework, Fumiko whining for another piece of mochi, your boss calling to chase for yet another report, so all you’ve ever had time for is a hurried shower before placating your daughters or seating yourself in front of your laptop to deal with your boss.

Finally, you’ve stolen a day to yourself. It’s absolute bliss.

The water is kind to you. Its heat soothes your aching muscles, the rising steam steadies your breath. You walk out of the baths feeling refreshed, renewed, but when you enter your room you find Kuroo Tetsuro waiting for you.

“I’ve been calling your phone all afternoon”, he says, face pinched. “I was worried.”

“Were you?” you say before you can stop yourself. “Really?”

“Of course”, he says, uncrossing his legs to stand. “You’re my wife and the mother of my children, of course I care.”

Wife. Mother. Employee.

The roles that life has handed you haunts you again. There is no escape for you.

Your skin suddenly feels as if it’s stretched too tight over your frame. Your bones rattle, brittle. They threaten to break if you take another breath. Yet you laugh and laugh and laugh, the sound spilling from your lips filling the room, suffocating the pounding of your heartbeat in your ears.

“If you really cared, you would have noticed that your wife is broken”, you tell him between bouts of laughter. “I tried fixing myself with a break but you can’t even give me that.”

Kuroo stares at you, equal parts horrified and confused. He takes a hesitant step forward towards you before thinking the better of it, swerving over to the kettle instead, clutching it as if it holds the cure to your madness.

“Calm down”, he says, “take a seat”, and you do. He offers you a cup of tea. You accept it, even though you’re still shaking from the aftershock of your laughter. “Drink”, he says, and you bring the cup to your lips, though you wonder absently why you taste salt in the bitter tea.

“Tell me what’s wrong”, he begs. “Tell me what I can do to fix you.”

You want to tell him that you’re not strong enough to do what’s expected of you. You want to tell him that you’re drowning from the weight of being his wife, the mother of his kids, from being a working woman that he can be proud of. You want to tell him that you understand his career is important, but so is yours, and you can’t carry the weight of the world alone.

But that would take too many words, and you are far, far too tired for that.

So you say blankly - “I can’t do this anymore, Tetsuro.”

His face falls.

You should remember that Kuroo Tetsuro, first and foremost, is a child scarred by his parents’ divorce. You should remember that you made promises that you and he would never put your daughters through that. But you’ve floated beyond hysteria into a grey indifference, your mind too broken, too tired, too numb to consider him when you can barely even hold on to yourself.

You don’t even notice the hot tears soaking through your yukata. You are deaf to his pleas to give him another chance. There is nothing left in you to give because you’ve poured all you’ve had into him, into your family, into your job. You are so, so empty, and you just sit and sip your tea and wonder idly if the warmth from the liquid you’re ingesting will make you feel a little more alive, or if it’s possible to ease the dull ache in your heart.

It is only when you wake up the next day and the sun is high in the sky that you register that he rolled out your futon for you, tucked you into bed, and kissed your forehead as a goodnight and goodbye. But all of this is washed away by the relief you feel when you read the note he’s left behind telling you that he’s returned to Tokyo, and to enjoy your break.

So you do.

You relish every bite of the meals you have at the ryokan. It’s nice not having to cook or scarf down your food at your office desk for once. You fill your time flitting between the onsens and curling up in your room with a book, taking frequent cat naps until tomorrow comes around again and it’s time to check out and head home.

There’s a brief moment of surprise when the reception informs you politely that your husband already paid your bill - but you suppose that’s just Tetsuro being efficient at racking up credit card points. The bullet train takes you back to Tokyo, and a couple stops on the subway takes you home.

“Okaeri”, you call softly out of habit, not expecting anyone to respond, but Kuroo responds with an even softer ‘Tadaima’, striding over to take your bags from you and usher you into the apartment. There are pink roses sitting in a vase, but you pay it no mind.

“The girls?” you ask, already headed in the direction of their room.

“I picked them up from your mom”, Kuroo responds. “Don’t wake them up, I just put them to bed”.

A peek into their room and it settles your mind to see that your girls are safe and sound asleep.

“Thanks,” you say, back in the kitchen, checking the fridge for what you can whip up for breakfast for you and the girls tomorrow. “By the way, I’ll pay you back for the hotel room from my own money, don’t worry.”

“It’s fine”, Kuroo answers, scratching his head. His hair seems a little more rumpled than usual. “I’ll cover it. I should’ve realised you needed a break.”

“You sure? You don’t have to pay for me, I’ve got money of my own.”

“No, let me pay for it, please. It’s the least I can do.”

You shrug. “Okay”, you say gracelessly. “Thank you.”

He continues to watch you over the kitchen counter as you lay out bread, eggs, ham, cheese. It’ll do for a quick breakfast for the girls tomorrow, never mind the guilt eating away at you that you really should do better than feeding them processed food all the time. You’re so preoccupied with planning the morning rush, the best way to clear the stack of reports that must have piled up on your desk at work by now that you miss Kuroo rounding the counter to stare down at you worriedly.

“You haven’t had dinner?”

“Oh no, I had a bento on the train on the way back.” It’s second nature to you to brush away anyone’s concern. “It’s for the girls’ breakfast.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take them to childcare before work tomorrow. Sleep in and take a break.”

“Really?” You stare back at him, confused. He doesn't even take charge of the girls in the mornings when you’re sick, your mother always has to fill in your place. He only ever turns up on the first day of school each year.

“Yes, of course. In fact, I’ve rearranged my work schedule so I can take them to school all of this week at least.”

“Oh”, you say, brows furrowed in confusion. “Okay, I guess. Wake me up if you need my help.”

“I won’t”, he replies, with a cocky smirk that seems almost false. “Goodnight, love.”

You don’t think of Kuroo’s strange behaviour overmuch, falling asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow.

Kuroo continues to act strangely all of next week.

As promised, he takes charge of getting the girls out of bed and ready for school. But you’re taken aback when he starts coming home for dinner, completely floored when he hands you a whole armful of bath salts and orders you to take a relaxing, hot bath while he wrangles both the girls and the washing machine into submission.

He even calls your mother to ask her to babysit on a Saturday evening so he can take you out for dinner at a fancy restaurant that serves foam instead of food. You manage to stumble through conversation with him - a commendable effort, since it’s been so long since you’ve even held a proper conversation with him besides snatches of discussion about the girls.

At least until he states during dessert - “we can make it work if you want to quit your job and stay home full time with the children.”

The mousse on your spoon melts by the time you put it down on your plate.

“Did the guys at work tell you it’s easier to have a housewife instead of a working wife? Are you saying this because you don’t think I’m a good enough mother to our girls? Is that what this is about?”

Kuroo shakes his head frantically, reaches across the table for your hand, but you yank it away with a glare. The extra rest you’ve gotten this week has injected a little more fight in you.

“I try my best to be a good wife and mother, but I’m sorry I can’t be perfect and be there for you and the girls 24/7.” You press down on the sliver of cake with a vengeance. Clink! goes the flat of your spoon against the porcelain plate. “I’m sorry for being selfish, but I don’t want to be reliant on you.”

You regret your harsh words when Kuroo slumps back into his chair, murmuring “I just wanted you to be happy. Forget I ever said that.”

He pays the bill and you walk home in silence. He bids you goodnight with a crumpled smile.

It finally clicks when you are startled awake by Kuroo’s shout of alarm.

You roll over, grabbing his shoulder to shake him awake from the nightmare that has him in its grip. His eyes jolt open, and the sight of your face makes him sink back into the pillow with a sigh of relief.

“Thank the gods you haven’t left.”

“Why would I leave? This is my home, isn’t it?” You mumble, turning your back to him again.

You feel the bed shift as Kuroo sits up.

“No”, he rasps, voice rough with sleep. “I was afraid you left me”.

Oh. So that’s what all of this is about.

You must stay quiet for far too long, because he gingerly crawls over to you.

“Dearest”, he says, your heart suddenly aching because you don’t remember the last time you heard him use that pet name with any amount of affection. “Darling”, he tries again, pawing at your back. You shut your eyes resolutely and refuse to turn to face him.

He doesn’t give up, even though the distance between you seems to yawn wide and wider with each passing second.

“Are you?” he asks, his words small, shrunken in the still, dark room. “Going to leave me, I mean.”

No, you’re about to say, the word balancing at the tip of your tongue but it feels wrong. Your break has given you the space to breathe, the time to think. It’s made you realise what you’ve said to him in the ryokan that night remains true.

This week has shown you that Kuroo can do better as a husband, as a father if he wants to. But he’s poisoned your marriage with neglect, forced you to dress up your sadness in silence, allowed your resentment to fester and simmer into frigid indifference. If you reassure him that you aren’t going to leave him, it’s only because you’re too tired to, not because you actually love him anymore.

“I don’t know, Tetsuro. Our daughters deserve to grow up with both their parents, but I’m not sure I want them to learn from my example that it’s okay to shoulder the weight of marriage, parenthood and a full time job all by themselves. Your dreams and career are important, I know, but I’m just so tired of being alone in this marriage when it was always supposed to be a partnership between me and you.”

You hear him choke back a sob. You should comfort him, but the exhaustion you feel at being honest with him, with yourself, weighs your bones down, forces you to sink further down into your mattress.

“I’m sorry”, he finally says.

“I’m tired, Tetsuro”, you whisper brokenly, clutching the blankets to your chin. “I think I deserve better.”

“I know. I’ll make it better, I promise.”

You want to ask him how, but your eyelids grow heavy, and you allow yourself to submerge into slumber.

You’re not sure what to expect, but the ground beneath your feet shifts. Things start to change.

Kuroo continues to take your daughters to childcare in the morning on the way to work as he did last week. That very weekend, he straps Fumiko to his chest, takes Aiko by her hand, and within an hour at the department store aided by a flash of his credit card, he purchases a dishwasher and robot vacuum for the house. He loads the dishes without you asking, runs the robot vacuum remotely once a day. It buys you time to breathe, a little more time to sleep.

He doesn’t always make it home in time for dinner, but he tries his best to rush home so he can read the girls a bedtime story and tuck them into bed.

“Dada”, Fumiko lisps, chubby fists wound around Kuroo’s tie. ‘I wanna hear another princess story!”

“No Fumiko! Papa promised to tell us how he met mama!” Aiko prods Kuroo’s side with the wooden doll Yaku sent from Russia that you know he abhors. ‘Keep your promises, papa!”

“Alright, settle down you monsters. I’ll tell you two stories if you promise to go to sleep right after that.” The girls cheer. “Now. Let’s see. A long, long time ago, your papa met your mama when she decided to beat him up because she thought he was trying to steal her food.”

“You were trying to steal my food”, you interrupt, leaning against the doorway amused. “You didn’t stop til I stabbed you with my fork.”

He glances up, surprised when you sit beside him on the bed. Then he grins.

“You left it on the table, dearest. What was a guy supposed to think?”

“Mama, please let dada tell the story”, Aiko interjects with a huff.

“Hurry up, dada! I want the princess story next!” Fumiko pulls at her silly dada’s shirt, pouting.

You both laugh. There’s a soft smile playing on his lips when his eyes meet yours.

Travelling all around Japan is still part of his job as a marketing director of the Japanese Volleyball Association. But now Kuroo pares it down to the bare minimum, makes sure he’s always back by the weekend at the very least to sweep the girls in his arms and shoo you off for a break of afternoon tea with your friends or shopping with your mom.

“Will you be ok when I’m gone?”

You hand him his suitcase, a flask of his favourite tea. “I’ve always managed fine. Nothing’s changed.”

He bends down to kiss Aiko on her forehead, pinch Fumiko’s cheek playfully.

“Yes. Well. I’ll come home soon”, he says, quietly. You startle slightly as he brushes his thumb over your wrist, lets it drift over your pulse point. “Please wait for me.”

You glance up at him from beneath your lashes. “I’ll see you soon then”, you reply. His smile widens, his eyes are hopeful, bright.

On the weekends, he stops flitting off for work functions and events. Instead, now he joins you for lunches at the kaiten zushi near your house, indulging the girls by ordering yet another plate of sushi just so Aiko has another chance to win a toy from the gachapon and Fumiko has another chance at feeling grown up when she lifts the plate from the conveyor belt. He stops ducking out from dinners at the grandparents’ place - both his and yours. Your mom stops giving him dirty looks when he actually turns up more than three times in a row with sake in hand.

Once every so often, he even throws little parties for your family of four, going so far as to buy a frilly pink apron that makes your daughters giggle when he whips it out for the first time. After a few mishaps (and a number of frantic calls to Fukunaga), he masters how to make takoyaki and okonomiyaki, and in the colder months, he makes steaming pots of nabe and shabu shabu.

“Itadakimasu” you murmur, and the girls follow suit. “It tastes good”, you say.

He ducks his head bashfully, pink dusting the column of his neck.

“Thank you”, he replies. “That means a lot, coming from you.”

You start to savour the bubbles of happiness in your chest when you see how your daughters’ eyes shine when they see their papa whip out the pink apron. You learn to laugh when you hear the pitter patter of little feet, their delighted squeals and shrieks when they tell you the latest exploits their silly papa is cooking up - sparklers under the stars one weekend, a nerf gun fight, the next.

The weight on your shoulders grows lighter and lighter until one day you hardly notice it at all.

“What’s wrong?” you frown at the sight of your husband dashing out of your bedroom, hair a frazzled mess.

He whips around at the sound of your voice. “Oh. Oh.” He approaches you, slowly, carefully. “You’re still here.”

Your frown deepens. “My boss called and asked me to send out an urgent email. I was just about to go back to bed. Tetsuro, is everything alright?”

He nods. “It’s fine - I just... I just woke up and thought you were gone.”

You take a closer look. It’s dark, but the shadows of the night fail to hide the purple smudges beneath his eyes, the fine lines carved into his brow. His shoulders are bowed, his lips downturned and he looks broken, battered.

Your heart hurts for him.

“I’m here”, you say, beckoning him towards you. Physical affection has been scarce between you two for so, so long but he looks so distraught it’s only natural to pull him close, let him rest his head on your lap. “I’m here, Tetsuro. I’m not about to run off into the night – you know I don’t like the cold.”

He doesn’t laugh at your feeble joke. “Are you happier now? Are things better for you?”

“Yes”, you say firmly, combing your fingers through his hair, rubbing circles along his back. “Thank you, Tetsuro. I appreciate it. I really do.”

You can feel him sag in relief.

“You don’t have to work yourself to the bone for me. That’s – that’s never what I was asking for. If you’re tired, you need to take a break.”

He shakes his head stubbornly. “I’m fine. I can bear it as long as you don’t leave me.”

“Tetsuro –“

He sits up abruptly, takes your hands in his.

“Promise you won’t leave me”, he begs, head bowed. “I know I’ve been a shit husband to you for so long. It’s no excuse, but I thought - ” he swallows heavily, waits until his voice stops wavering. “I thought we were ok, ‘cos we didn’t fight, not like my parents did before – before my mother left.”

“I was too tired to fight with you”, you say simply.

He nods once, jerkily. “I know – I know that now. When you disappeared that day, I didn’t know what to do. I went to your mom’s place and she reamed me out, screamed at me in front of the neighbours. I took the kids back, and it made me realise how fucking hard it was for you to do it all alone.” He inhales, closing his eyes as if the memory aches. “I know it’s late but I’ve changed, I swear. The girls need you. I need you. I’ll do anything as long as you stay.”

His fingers are freezing, but you do not pull away. Not when the desperation reflected in his irises makes your heart lurch in pain.

“It was hard”, you confess, and he shudders, struck in the chest by your honesty. “It was so hard, Tetsuro. You hurt me so damn much that I think I became numb to the pain. I don’t think I was really functioning for a while. For a long while.”

“I’m sorry”, he whispers, and you nod shakily.

“I know”, you reply, reaching out a hand to cup his face, a bittersweet twist to your lips as he melts into your touch. “That’s a chapter of my life, of our marriage that can’t be re-written. We can’t rewind that. But the past few months have been so different. I – you’ve shown me you’ve changed. And I think –“

You fall silent.

He prompts you. “Dearest?”

You recall the glimmer of light in your daughters’ eyes every morning when he takes their hands to walks them to school. You hear the echoes of their laughter, the lilt in their sweet voices every night when they welcome him home. You think of the tea parties he throws, the blanket forts he builds, the frilly pink apron he wears without shame and the bedtime stories he weaves every night.

“I think”, you say, with a smile that reminds him of the rising sun. “I think we can make this work again.”

He stares at you until the weight of your words dawns upon him, and he surges forward to fold you into his arms.

“Thank you”, he whispers into the shell of your ear. “I won’t fuck this up again, I promise.”

“Don’t thank me, you silly man”, you nuzzle into his neck sleepily, draping your arms around his waist. “Thank yourself for making me believe in you.”

He laughs wetly, cradling you close as you fall asleep against his chest, soothed by his heartbeat and the tenderness in his gaze.

Fumiko wakes you up unceremoniously before the sun even rises by climbing into your lap, and you open your eyes to Aiko pouting, hands on hips, demanding to know what’s for breakfast, and dada, dada, make a ham sandwich, pretty please with a cherry on the top.

“You guys are little monsters”, Kuroo teases with dancing eyes. “Can’t even give your papa a break to snuggle up to your mama.”

The girls shriek in dismay. “Don’t be mean”, you admonish him gently.

He mock sniffs. “I’m cranky in the mornings unless I get a morning kiss.”

Aiko and Fumiko crowd the sofa, clamouring to give their papa a kiss, but he stalls them with an imperious wave of his hand.

“This morning, only a kiss from your mama can chase my crankiness away”. His tone is teasing, but his shoulders remain tense.

“Nonsense. You make it sound as if kisses contain caffeine”, you scold, swatting his arm lightly as the girls giggle.

“Yours do!” he protests, and you roll your eyes as you press your lips to the corner of his lips, laughing when he puffs out his chest and declares his day can now start, that everything’ll be as right as rain.

Some days are full of sunshine, whilst others are full of rain. That’s life – but it’s bearable, enjoyable even, now that you and Kuroo face each day together, thanking the sun when it shines, and splashing through puddles on rainy days.

Things recalibrate.

The mornings are his domain now – he’s a master at concocting the most random breakfast items to satisfy your finnicky daughters. Aiko sniffs when she informs you that she’d prefer her papa to braid her hair, thank you very much, and when you shoot a look of death at Kuroo, he can’t even keep his face straight, his trademark hyena laugh erupting from his chest.

You cook dinner in the evenings, appreciating the times when he can join you at the table, not counting the nights he can’t against him because you know he’s trying his best. The girls clamour for his stories every night, laughing when he teasingly scolds them for yanking on his tie, demanding goodnight kisses from both him and you.

Now you force Kuroo to take some time to himself, shoo him off for lunches with Kenma, get-togethers with his Nekoma schoolmates. “I know you can manage it”, you tell him archly, “but you need breaks so you don’t burn out, or worse – you’ll lose your hair and we don’t want that”. When he opens and closes his mouth without a smart retort, you smirk. You get your way.

Both of you organise parties and playdates, inviting your shared friends – Kenma, of course, is a frequent guest, Bokuto, who brings along Akaashi and his sweet tempered little son (who Aiko always manages to pick a fight with, much to Kuroo’s amusement). You host Kai, who always brings offerings of flowers from his garden, Yaku, when he’s in town with his daughter, son and alarmingly fat cat. The adults congregate in the kitchen with food and alcohol, cracking good natured jokes at Kuroo and his frilly pink apron, watching the children cause a ruckus in the living room.

But you cherish the quiet moments you share with Kuroo at night when the children are asleep in bed. The chats you have whilst soaking in a hot bath about your day at work, the snippets of stories he shares about his boss, his crazy colleagues, the warmth of his arm around you as you stay up to clear emails late into the night, the heated kisses he presses to the nape of your neck to distract you when he thinks you’re working too hard.

It’s a good life. You’re happy, and so is he.

A year slips by.

The seasons come full circle. You return to the ryokan, finding peace in soaking yourself in steaming pools, watching the bamboo sway, the sun rise over Mt. Fuji. But this time, you’re not alone. You persuade Kuroo that he, too, needs a break - deserves one, truly. So you leave the girls with your mother and take the bullet train down to Hakone.

He shoots you a smirk as you both emerge from the private bath he’d insisted on booking. You swat at him, pulling your yukata higher up your neck, scowling as he winds an arm around your waist to press you into his side.

“You couldn’t wait til we got back to our room?” you hiss at him.

He chuckles lowly in response. “Didn’t hear you complaining”, he retorts.

“We were in an onsen, Tetsuro!”

“A private one”, he says with a waggle of his eyebrows, laughing aloud when you try and fail to slap your hand over his mouth. “What d’you think I was going to do with my lovely wife? I’m not a monk, sweetheart”

You try your best to shush him, but his cackling manages to capture the attention of everyone in the lift.

“What a happy couple”, an old lady remarks, within your earshot. “They must be newly married”

You think she must be a little senile. Or a little blind.

Neither of you are in your first flush of youth anymore - there are streaks of grey in Tetsuro’s mop of hair, extra weight in your hips and lines in your faces. No one could conceivably mistake you for a pair of newlyweds.

“Nah”, Kuroo drawls easily into your ear. “Just your regular old, married couple.”

You don’t speak until you’re safely in your room.

“A regular, old, happily married couple”, you say, as he hands you a cup of tea. “That obaa-san got that part right at least.”

Kuroo chokes on the lump of emotion in his throat as you serenely sip your tea.

The tea tastes bitter (as it always does), but the kisses that follow are so very, very sweet.

#haikyuu angst #kuroo testuro #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo tetsuro x you #kuroo tetsuro x y/n #kuroo x you #kuroo x reader #kuroo x y/n #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu romance #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader angst #Haikyuucafe #haikyuucreations #love knows not its depth

2K notes · View notes

myherowritings · 4 years ago

Text

PART 1. A VERY WELL-DESERVED TIP

SUMMARY. Todoroki Shouto was a wealthy, young CEO who inherited his father’s enterprise. You were a barista at a local cafe who wouldn’t mind some extra cash. One day, Shouto came in during an early morning shift and tipped you such a large sum of money, you were certain it had to have been an accident. To your surprise and complete pleasure: It was not.

PAIRING. ceo!todoroki shouto x barista!reader

WORD COUNT. 2.0k

GENRE. ceo/barista au, fluff, eventual smut

WARNINGS. none in this chapter

A/N. my brief work as a barista is finally paying off. i suffered at sbux all to write this fic ✌︎('ω'✌︎ ) LMAOOO i frl had so much fun writing this and i’m very excited to share the next parts ;) i hope you enjoy this fic as much as i do!! xx sof

SERIES MASTERLIST

You were not looking forward to your new work schedule for the next month.

The employee who usually came in for opening shifts at four in the morning gave her two weeks notice...two weeks ago. And since you had your availability open (you knew you should’ve blocked it off and said you had morning class), your manager asked you to fill her place.

The night before your first—of many—morning shifts, you tried tricking yourself into thinking it was a good idea. And it almost worked! Sort of.

You told yourself waking up early when the sun rose worked with your body’s natural circadian rhythm and this experience may adjust your sleep schedule for a healthier one in the long run. Better health and wellbeing and lower risks of cardiovascular disease. Or something. You weren’t too sure exactly; you never paid much attention in biology but it sounded like something you’d find in a textbook, right?

When you arrived on your first day, the morning shift was just as hectic and chaotic as you expected. People in business suits with name brand bluetooth earphones in their ears and the latest new smartphone in their hand filled the shop and waited for their online order. It was as if they wanted the least amount of social interaction possible, which would be fine if being able to make connections with customers wasn’t the most interesting part about being a barista.

Although the cafe you worked at was a small business who actually (tried) to pay their employees fairly and wasn’t a purely money hungry franchise like the certain green siren, it surprisingly had gained enough traction in the area to rival one of those cheap, chain stores.

Good for the business, bad for sleepy workers who could barely function in the mornings.

But you enjoyed working here and the owners were kind, so you did your best to shove away the tiredness and put a bright and cheery smile on your face. The customers were grumpier than you were used to, but who wouldn’t be a little ill-mannered having to go to work at 5 a.m. and probably not leaving until 6 p.m. or later because of bosses who overworked them? Trying to get them their morning coffee with an amiable attitude to start off their day right was something you were more than happy to do.

It was too bad barely any of them gave you the time of day. They just wanted to get their caffeine and leave with as little human interaction as possible. It was understandable, of course, but it wasn’t the lively cafe environment you were used to during later shifts. You sighed, hoping the atmosphere would be friendlier when it wasn’t a major rush hour.

“Hi! I can help the next person in line,” you called for the twentieth time this hour. When they moved forward towards the cash register, you gave them a smile. “Good morning. I hope your day has been going well!”

“It’s been okay, thank you. And yours?”

Your eyes widened in surprise and you almost sputtered over thin air. Someone who actually replied back to what you said and asked about you in return? Even if the intent was a courtesy conversation that was meant to be quick and brief, the sentiment was there—the upholding of the values of common courtesy and human decency. Something too many people seemed to lack.

“I’m good as well! A little tired but what’s to be expected a quarter ‘til 6 a.m.?” you said with a laugh. “Thank you for asking.”

The customer gave a small smile in return and you internally celebrated for finally seeing your first pleasant expression this morning. “Must be even more tiring dealing with all these people. Doesn’t seem easy. I have to commend you for it.”

He was a tall, handsome man with a pretty face, soft-looking hair, and genuinely nice? There was no way this was real; you had to be dreaming.

You twiddled with the pen in your hands, taken aback and mildly embarrassed by the praise. “Just doing my job,” you said with a bashful look. “Thank you, though.” You cleared your throat, not wanting to hold the line up for too long, even if the customer was one you would rather keep talking to than the others. “Now, what can I get started for you today?”

“Right. Can I get a flat white in the medium size?”

“Of course.” You typed in his order into the register before asking, “And is there anything else I can get for you? Like a pastry? Today we have some freshly baked cheese danishes that are really yummy if you’d like to try!”

He thought for a while before shrugging. You weren’t sure if it was your eyes playing tricks on you or he actually had an amused look on his face. “Sure, I’ll take a couple dozen of those as well.”

“A couple dozen—?” your voice faltered. The suggestion of a fresh pastry was one you made to almost every customer, though most turned it down on the spot.

The cafe had a little weekly competition between workers to see who could sell the most pastries in the week and the one who sold most got...well, a free pastry and bragging rights. Admittedly, it wasn’t much, but nothing revved up sales like friendly rivalries. An order of a couple dozen was sure to land you in the top spot this week! Still, you had to make sure he meant it. You’d feel bad if he was just spending all his hard-earned office work money because he was trying to be courteous. (Or at least, you assumed he was some office employee.)

You cautiously asked, “Are you sure?”

Either your eyes were playing tricks on you yet again, or the look of amusement on his face grew even more than before as he said, “I’m sure. One medium flat white and, say, three dozen boxes of cheese danishes, please.”

“C-Coming right up!” you said, quickly entering his order and celebrating your free end-of-the-week pastry in advance. “That will be $42.81. Would that be card or cash?”

“Card.” He pulled out a sleek, black card with gold detailings on it and you never knew you could be sexually attracted to a credit card until now.

“Perfect! Go ahead and swipe, insert, or scan your card now. In the meantime, can I get a name for your order please?”

He scanned his card over the machine before looking back up at you. “It’s To— Ah, Shouto.”

“Shouto?” you asked in confirmation. You assumed it wasn’t ‘Toahshouto’. That sounded too much like the abbreviation used to remember how to find sine, cosine, and tangent.

“Yeah. Shouto.”

You smiled. “Well, Shouto, your order will be ready in a few minutes. Please wait over to your right to pick it up!”

He nodded.

“It was nice meeting you!” you called, waving goodbye. “I hope you have a good rest of your day.”

“Thank you,” he glanced at your nametag, “Y/N.”

Oh, how nice it felt to be treated like a human by a customer and have them actually address your name— And not to say it in a condescending way either.

“Do individual baristas get to keep the tips here?”

You blinked, feeling your face warm up slightly. “We do, actually.” One of your favorite parts of the job, you had to admit.

“Glad to hear.” Shouto pulled out some crisp-looking bills from his wallet and placed one in your hand that said ‘100’ to you. “Thank you for your kind service, Y/N.”

“Wha—” Your eyes widened. You were expecting something along the line of three dollars. Maybe five at most. But a hundred? By the time you had processed what had happened he was walking away from the cash register. “Wait— Shouto...sir! I think you accidentally gave me the wrong amount.”

He shook his head, only briefly turning back to face you. “Nope. It’s for you,” he said simply. “I’m looking forward to the cheese danishes.”

His words left you stunned, but the next customer in line tapped their foot impatiently, signaling it was now time for you to take their order. You hoped the line died down before Shouto left the cafe so you could return the tip, but seeing as how the queue almost extended out the door, you had the sinking feeling that wouldn’t be a possibility.

“Hello, I can take the next customer in line!” you recited cheerfully, mind still occupied by thoughts of your last encounter.

The next few orders went along uneventfully (though you did manage to sell two more cheese danishes) and by the time Shouto got his coffee and pastry boxes, you still had a handful more customers to get through.

“Pardon me real quick,” you said apologetically to the woman in front of you. “Please give me one moment?”

She graced you with a nod and you thanked the stars above for an understanding patron.

“Wait— Excuse me, sir!” You waved in Shouto’s direction before he could exit the cafe. He glanced at you curiously but walked over. In a hushed voice, you said, “I really appreciate the tip, but there’s no way I could accept this much money from you!”

For the first time today, you say the hints of a frown on his face. “You cannot?”

“No! $100 is a lot! You already bought $40 worth of cheese danish pastries— Are you sure you meant to give that big of a tip?”

“Of course.” He took a sip of his coffee with a satisfied hum. “You getting up at such an early hour to take people’s orders with a kind attitude isn’t easy. Plus, trying to build rapport with each of them all while keeping the interacting swift is a difficult task itself. And it’s probably worth more than your current pay, the $100 tip, and then some.”

You blinked, stunned by his words. This man kept surprising you so many times in just one morning.

“I find it ridiculous how certain occupations are paid an ungodly amount more than others, especially when a lot of it comes from privileges you were born into.” Shouto seemed to mumble the last bit to himself, but you were still able to understand what he said. “It’s bullshit.” Before you could respond, he recollected himself. “Eat the rich, right? All that to say, please accept the tip. You deserve it. And I promise it’s of no detriment to me, so please don’t feel bad.”

Seeing the determined look on his face, you couldn’t help but stare at him before nodding. He didn’t say anything you didn’t already believe yourself, and if someone really wanted to give you $100, you weren’t going to fight them on it. Think of all the dumplings you could buy, you told yourself.

“T-Thank you then.” You gingerly placed the folded bill back into your pants pocket. “I think that was really insightful of you and I’m very grateful.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He smiled before glancing towards the exit. “I’m running a bit late for work now, so I should be going. Have a good day, Y/N.”

“You too, Shouto. And… Thank you again!”

With a glowing expression on your face, you walked back to the cash register ready to face the day and talk to more lovely customers!

“Hey, little barista!” a gruff voice called from the line, snapping you out of your stupor. “Hurry it up already before you force me to complain to your manager.”

You internally sighed. You understood they were in a rush, but they still had no right to be that rude.

“Can you even hear me? Or are you too incompetent?”

Cue another internal sigh.

Yeah, okay. Maybe you did deserve this $100 tip.

Regardless of the rude customers that may have come in, at least you had your thoughts of a cute, kind businessman who went by the name of Shouto to get you through your shift. And you could only hope you’d be able to see him again.

a/n: the end of part one folks!! oh what i’d give to have gotten a tip like this when i worked as a barista BAHAHA only in my dreams. i hope you enjoyed this little intro part and are excited for what’s to come !! :3

what to expect in the next part:

~maybe~ y/n will see shouto again and,,perhaps,,get more tips from him idk who knows

old lady imparts some...helpful(?) advice

we briefly get to see shouto’s pov! ;D

3K notes · View notes

finelinevogue · 3 years ago

Note

Can we get some more brother!harry?

I really enjoyed your piece where he caught her smoking ❤️

of course you can!! (rip if your name is natalia) hope this is what you wanted;

Natalia.

Beautiful name to juxtapose a horrible excuse of a human being.

Harry was never that great when it came to choosing his girlfriends, but this one was by far the worst. Bekka had been bad, because she had been cheating on Harry with her best friends dad. India was just so toxic, to the point where she’d ask Harry why he wasn’t mad with her over the most trivial things as if she wanted him to be mad. Daya was ok, but she wanted different things to what Harry wanted and so they ended up in a massive argument and ending things quicker than they started. Natalia though, wow. She was something else and that wasn’t a compliment.

You don’t know whether it was just because she targeted you especially, but she was just a downright cruel person. You could easily tell her intentions with your brother were not good. She was a plain ol’ gold digger, evident from the credit card that Harry leant her and she spent so much on it the bank had to call Harry to ask him to authorise that he was aware of the amount of money being spent. She bought a car with his card. A fucking car. Harry was too blinded by her beauty and her experience that he was oblivious to her witchy behaviour towards you. It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried to tell him either, it was more that he didn’t care enough.

“No Harry. No.” You argued with him, standing in the middle of the kitchen as he was busy washing the rest of the dishes in the sink. It was just the two of you home at the moment, because Gemma and Anne were spending the weekend at an exclusive spa in Cheshire, so you didn’t understand how there were so many dishes.

“Y/N, it’s not an option. You’re not staying at home by yourself.” Harry spoke sternly back to you, letting out his frustration by vigorously scrubbing the dishes.

“I’m literally 17 - 18 in like 3 weeks. I’m more than capable of staying home.” You stomped your foot to the ground like a child.

“And I don’t care. You’re coming to lunch whether you want to or not.” Harry finished the last plate and dries his hands on the towel next to the sink, before throwing it over to you.

“But she’ll be there.”

“She’s my girlfriend, so you’ll nice to her.”

“If she’s nice to me, then yeah.” You rolled your eyes and walked over to the sink to start drying the dishes that Harry just cleaned.

“ Y/N, I swear to God.” Harry groaned in frustration, tugging a stressful hand through his hair. “Can you at least pretend to be happy for me for once?”

“Gee Harry, i’m just so happy to be going out to lunch with you and your girlfriend!” You put on the biggest grin as your sarcasm practically dripped from your tongue.

“Stop being a spoilt little shit and finish those dishes. We’re leaving in 20.” Harry spoke harshly, before leaving the room with a heavy strop to his step. It left you to blink back the tears that you couldn’t help that Natalia was ruining your whole relationship with your brother.

You and Harry used to be so tight nit, now it would be a miracle if he spent a day with you per month. Natalia had come along 5 months ago and she had completely turned Harry’s life around for the worst, only Harry was too ignorant to see that. Anne had come home multiple times to find you crying because Harry had cancelled on you, again, or Natalia had said something that had really hurt. Normally you were okay with taking hate, but Natalia made it somehow worse than that. Even if Anne or Gemma tried to talk Harry about the damage all this was causing you it would always be the same response;

“She just wants attention.”

The restaurant was very pretty.

It was one that you and Harry used to go to all the time, when there was no girlfriend around. It sold the best pastries and life-changing eggs on toast. The food was always delicious and the staff were so completely lovely. You were glad to be coming here, making you feel more comfortable than you would if you went to a expensive fancy restaurant instead. This little restaurant, named ‘Lemon Puffs’ after their infamous lemon, cream and pastry puffs, made you feel safe and happy.

“Remember to just be nice.” Harry spoke as you both approached the table that Natalia was already sat at. She was too busy on her phone to realise you were even here.

“If she plays nice then yeah.” You bit back.

“Y/N just stop being petty, y’pissing me off now.” Harry argued. “Whine like a bitch later. I don’t need it today.”

You stopped talking after that, not having anything else to say to him. He’d made it very clear that you were only here because he didn’t trust you at home by yourself, but by the same token wanted you quiet because he didn’t trust you enough to speak nicely. Harry hugged and kissed Natalia like he hadn’t just seen her last night and then sat down opposite to her, leaving you to sit next to Harry because you sure as hell weren’t sitting next to her. Natalia didn’t even make the effort to hug you or shake hands, in fact you barely got a simple hello.

“You alright, baby?” Natalia asked, twirling her hand into Harry’s from across the table. Disgusting.

“Yeah i’m good. This one’s a pain in my arse, as always.” Even with his joking tone, you knew he was being somewhat serious and that really messed with you.

“Typical.” Natalia rolled her eyes and tutted her tongue, not hesitating to use the opportunity to be mean to you. Harry thought she was merely playing along with his words, but you new otherwise.

“You know what you want yet?” Harry asked as he pulled his own attention towards the menu. You didn’t need to look at the menu, as being here so many times has allowed you to discover the perfect order.

“I think i’m just going to get the salad, but without the chicken, cheese or cucumber.” She answered, sipping on the water she must’ve already ordered whilst waiting for you both.

“So just lettuce?” You asked, not meaning for it to be a condescending question and yet she took it that way anyways.

“Is there something wrong with that, Y/N?” She asked, being really harsh in the way she spoke your name - as if the syllables actually caused her pain to speak.

“N-no I was just—”

“Didn’t think so.” She snapped and turned away from you to look back towards Harry, with her shit-eating grin that didn’t fool you. Harry kicked you leg under the table too, not appreciating the way you were speaking to Natalia. He didn’t even think about the way his girlfriend was speaking to you though. As usual.

“I’ll probably get the salad too.” Harry nodded his head and you shook your head as he spoke. Harry would never normally get a salad. Like, that’s so Kardashian of him. Harry, whenever he came here with you, always ordered a cheese and pickle panini, with extra crunchy pickles, a portion of chips and some halloumi fries too. Oh and then a cake for pudding. He wouldn’t have gone for a boring salad. Fucking Natalia was ruining him and you hated to have a front row seat of it.

“Not the usual then?” You tried to joke with him, but he was clearly still pissed off with you for being… you.

“Why, are you?” He asked quizzically.

“Obviously.” You smiled, which made Harry smile for a split second before Natalia pulled him away from you. Your smile disappeared and a frown settled in, knowing it would stay there for a long time.

“Babe, I am here too you know?” Natalia joked, bur you could see the anger and jealousy behind her eyes. If looked could kill you’d be ten feet under, twenty times over by now.

“Sorry, yeah.” Harry cleared his throat and paid closer attention to her.

Lunch went by slowly.

Natalia scoffed when she heard your order; poached eggs on toast with three pieces of crispy bacon on the side, a portion of chips and a mint iced tea. Oh and a cake for pudding, but you’d come to that later. Natalia ate her lettuce as Harry eat his salad as you ate your eggs on toast with bacon and chips. You loved the food, hated the company and couldn’t make up your mind whether you loved or hated being here. Natalia and Harry talked throughout lunch, leaving you out of all their conversations. The only time Harry spoke to you was when he asked whether your food was okay, eyeing it up as if he wanted to make love to it and send his salad to the nearest dumpster.

“Was everything alright for you?” Paul, the owner of the business and dude in charge of the eggs asked you when all your plates were empty as Harry’s growling stomach.

“Lovely, thank you.” Harry responded gratefully.

“Perfect.” You smiled as you handed your dirty plate to Paul.

“It was a bit plain.” Natalia moved her plate away from her in disgust and Paul put on his best customer smile, apologising for that before leaving to go and ring up the bill.

“Okay i’m just going to go for a quick wee before I pay.” Harry announced, getting up from the table to go to the loo.

“Okay babe. Don’t be too long.” She called out and then it was left just you and her.

“Well this was nice.” You tried to be nice, as Harry told you to, and start a meant conversation with your arch enemy. Kill ‘em with kindness - that was Harry’s slogan wasn’t it?

“If you hadn’t have been here then yeah.” She turned her nose up at you.

“Look,” you began, wanting her to understand something, “whatever i’ve done to upset you and make you hate me, i’m sorry. Just, I don’t want you to dislike me and I know that Harry really likes you so I want us to be able to get along.”

“Listen, Y/N,” there it was again - your name spoken with dripping venom, “I don’t want to get along with you. You make me sick. You are such a baby to Harry and you’re needy, which means I don’t get to spend time with my boyfriend—”

“Don’t get to spend time with him?” You had to laugh at that. Apart from today, you’d seen Harry maybe a total of 2 hours this whole week and it was Saturday. “You’re practically attached at the hip.”

“Not enough. Harry needs to keep away from you, you only bring him trouble.”

“I’m his fucking sister.” You shouted quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace for the rest of the customers.

“Not an excuse. Look Y/N, I understand that you are quite lonely and don’t have many friends? Maybe you should consider that’s for a very good reason?” She rhetorically asked you and that made you sit back a bit. She was pulling apart your insecurities now and exposing them to find the most painful parts, so she could watch you suffer with only the curse of her words.

“It’s not like that.” You tried to convince yourself more than her, tears in your eyes over something so hurtful to you.

“No? ‘Cause I think that you aren’t the kind of person anyone wants around, including Harry.” She stood up dusted herself off as he noticed Harry walk back over to the table, smiling as if she hadn’t just shot his sister in the heart.

Her words stung more than a scorpions tale, and yes unfortunately you knew what that felt like. Natalia was right. You were alone, friendless and just trouble. There was a reason that you were all of this and Natalia had hit the nail right on the head with the reason why. You thought of your friends, his they always disappeared and left you and now you sit in the canteen alone or hang out only with yourself on the weekends. You think to Gemma and Anne going away for the weekend, not inviting you because it was age restrictive but you still couldn’t help but think there was a more pressing reason than that. Then you think of Harry and how he was fed up of you. He couldn’t be more resentful of you if he tried. You wanted to be a good friend, a good daughter and most importantly a good sister, but it was so blindingly obvious that you weren’t. You were never going to be.

You stood up from the table too, quickly wiping away a tear from your face before anyone could notice but you didn’t care to see if anyone was actually watching. Harry kissed Natalia and then walked over to the cashier to pay the bill. You noticed Paul and Harry talking and so you walked out of the restaurant and towards the car, still tears in your eyes. You needed to be strong for yourself though, especially because nobody else was going to be.

You stood with you handle to the door of the car waited for Harry to come and unlock it. You heard high heels before the car was unlocked, unfortunately.

“Excuse me, but I ride front.” Natalia spat at you, removing your hand from the door and chivvying you to the back of the car instead.

“You’re coming with us?” You asked, your heart aching that little bit more. You didn’t want to spend another minute in her presence and yet she would now probably spend the rest of the week until your mum and sister came back.

“Ye—”

“No she’s not.” Harry walked out of the restaurant and over to the car, standing in between the both of you but a little more towards you.

“Babe? What do you mean?” Natalia asked, a little bit shocked at his tone with her.

“Firstly dont babe me. Secondly, get your hand off my car. Thirdly, don’t ever come near me or my sister ever again.” Harry ordered angrily. You’d never seen him this angry before. You stood behind him, afraid of what was about to go down.

“What has she said to you, because—”

“She’s my sister and she’s got a name. Y/N didn’t tell me anything. Lemon Puffs, however, has eyes and ears everywhere and it’s amazing the stories you hear when you’re stood at the cashier or next to someone at the urinals.” Harry accused Natalia and she went hot red in the face, embarrassed that this conversation was actually happening.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“No? Maybe this will jog your memory. ‘I think you aren’t the kind of person anyone wants around, including Harry.’” Harry raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest confrontationally. Guarding and protecting you. You felt safe.

“Wha— You think I would say that?” Natalia asked, pretending to be offended by the accusation.

“I don’t know, let’s ask Y/N shall we? Y/N, did Natalia say that to you?” Harry asked, turning to look at you with hope in his eyes, but also sorriness for everything that’s happened. You could see it all behind his eyes and you wanted to squeeze him tight to accept his apology, because you loved him and you needed him.

“Y-yes.” You answered, looking down so you didn’t have to make eye contact with Natalia.

“Harry you can’t possibly believe her.” Natalia laughed, but there was heavy insecurity in her tone.

“I trust her more than anyone. More than you. I trust Y/N with my life.” Harry back answered, taking no more bullshit from his ex-girlfriend. “We’re done Natalia. Okay? I don’t want to see you ever again. What you’ve said and done to my sister is unforgivable and I don’t want someone like you in my life.”

“You were a dick too.” You added quietly behind him and he just turned round to smile and wink at you.

“So what? That’s it?” Natalia asked, dumbfounded.

“Bye Natalia.” Harry walked around to the drivers seat and you to the passenger side. He stopped before opening the door though, wanting to say one last thing. “The bill was split in half by the way. Paul’s just inside waiting for you to pay.”

With that, you both got in the car, laughing at Natalia’s reaction and just everything. Apologises were made and promises of no relationships until you two had built back up yours were sworn. It would take time, but Harry was willing to prove that he was a good brother and you were always going to be someone he wanted around.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #finelinevogue harry styles #finelinevogue #harry oneshot #harry styles concept #harry blurb #harry styles x sister!reader #harry styles sister concept #harry styles sister #harry styles masterlist #finelinevogue blurbs #ask finelinevogue #ask harry styles #anon response #anon #harry styles angst #harry styles sister angst blurb

458 notes · View notes

lubdubsworld · 3 years ago

Text

The Devil’s Own.

Jungkook x OC

Mafia Au!

Warnings : Non-Con ! Manipulation, Degradation, Shitty hero with no redeeming Qualities you have been warned. ( i mean he does get better but not much.)

Summary : Just Mob Boss Jungkook doing mob boss things.

Chapter 1

“ Sign it. ”

I glared at him, feeling sick at the tone. The entitlement.

“No.” I said sharply and I could feel his anger swelling, morphing into something dangerous and deadly but I couldn’t care anymore. I was tired. Exhausted. This cat and mouse game had gone on , long enough. It wasn’t an even playing field, in any sense of the qword.

If today was the day I died, so be it. I would accept it. I would even welcome it.

I was done.

He had everything : an empire at his beck and call , enough money to pave the streets of Seoul in gold and an army of loyal associates behind him. His face was plastered on Billboards across the country , the President posted pictures of him on his fucking SNS and delegates from other countries had to wait weeks , just to get an appointment with the youngest billionaire South Korea had ever seen.

And yet none of those white collared dignitaries saw this side of him. The dirty, violent ruthless man who had more blood on his hands than anyone else in the country. My father’s. My brothers’.

Jeon Jungkook was both the most revered business man in the country and the undisputed king of Seoul’s criminal underbelly.

“You defiance only makes me want to break you in other ways Elena.” He said warningly and I felt my throat go dry. I stared at him, wondering how someone could look so expensively gorgeous and yet, like a hardened criminal.

The expensive silk shirt, the fitted slacks and the handmade shoes ought to clash with the dark ink that covered his entire arm and neck, the piercing on his eyebrow and the glint of metal on his tongue but it didn’t.

It just all came together to make him the most attractive man in existence.

I took a deep breath. Perhaps begging was the way to go?

“ You have my father’s company. You have my brother’s Hospital and you have the family mansion. It’s all yours. This bakery belongs to my mother. It’s all I have left of her. My sister in law is pregnant , due any day. She needs a place to stay and I don’t… I don’t have money to rent anywhere else.” I said desperately, thinking of the paltry wage I earned waiting tables. I could barely afford food for myself let alone for Jisoo and the baby on the way.

The bakery was abandoned but it had a roof. The furniture was crumbling but I could fix that. If I didn’t have to worry about rent, I could save up enough to make it livable. At least till I got a better job.

“I’ve offered you solutions for all of that.” He reminded me softly, eyes trained unblinkingly on me and I stared at him.

“I’m not going to be your whore.” I felt my voice shake.

He grimaced.

“You aren’t qualified to be my whore. And I don’t need one either. Whores are not my thing. I have a beautiful fiancée, don’t you remember? ” He grinned. I felt my heart ache because that fiancée was once my best friend. The only person I had trusted with my entire life. Lisa had betrayed my trust, had spied on my father’s operations and brought him down and I had the horrible, horrible inkling that she had also had something to do with my father and brother’s untimely death in a car crash.

But I couldn’t think about that. Every time I thought about her my heart broke and head spun, and I had to be at my maximum mental capacity if I was going to deal with her heartless fiancée.

“ If you ask me, you’re not fit for anything more than a back alley blowjob for a couple bucks. But Hoseok thinks you have potential. Join his agency, there are a lot of very wealthy men who have a bone to pick with your father. He made a shit ton of enemies. Most of them would love to fuck the defiance out of you. ”

His words felt like worms crawling all over my skin and I could feel the nausea churn inside me.

“I’m not signing the bakery over. You can call the creditors. I still have another year and half to pay the one remaining loan and they won’t come for me till then.” I felt my head begin to throb and Jungkook sighed.

“Suit yourself.” He stood up and I stayed still, watching his tall frame tower over me with ease. He gave me a small bitter smile. It was fraught with hatred and I stared back at him, knowing the emotion was probably mirrored in my gaze.

“Beautiful Elena. As pretty as the day you left me at the altar.” He smirked and I flushed.

“Your vengeance is petty and pointless and unfair…just like you.” I said angrily, frustration building u at his words. The way he talked about our broken engagement like it even mattered. It hadn’t even been real. We had hardly spoken and my father had called the wedding off at the last moment. But apparently, that had been the last straw for the Jeons. They had come after my father’s entire existence with a single minded intent to destroy him and they had succeeded. The man was dead . His two sons were dead.

But apparently it wasn’t enough.

Jungkook stared at me, slipping his hands into his pockets.

“Maybe. But it’s also deadly and potent. And it won’t rest until I see you reduced to nothing but a whore on the streets, spreading your legs for every man who can afford you.” He laughed. “ Saying no is a luxury , one that you’ll soon be unable to afford.”

I refused to be cowed, refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing that his words scared me. Because they did.

They scared me so damn much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This bed is so lumpy… I’m so sorry, unnie..” I said apologetically but Jisoo shook her head quickly, palms cupping my face as I held her elbows, gently lowering her to the bed. I stared at her feet, feeling my heart race at how swollen they looked. That can’t be normal, a voice whispered and

I didn’t know if that was normal and I had no money to take her to a clinic. The social center we usually went to only allowed three visits per month and we had used it all up. I wanted to throw caution to the wind and spend the thirty thousand won it would take but that would mean no groceries for a week and surely bread and eggs wouldn’t stretch that long, even if I could sneak meals in the restaurant for myself.

“I’ve been feeling a little dizzy…I’ll just sleep.” She said tiredly. She was thirty six weeks along, not due for another four weeks but her blood pressure was erratic. Her lab numbers were oscillating and there had been talks of an emergency c section. Even with insurance it was way more than I could afford but I had my own jewelry, a few expensive trinkets from my teenage years. I’d been obsessed with diamonds and my father had indulged me and I had a pair of earrings left. I’d already sold the rest but this would take care of the medical bills for the birth itself.

“My shift starts in ten minutes. I have to go. Give me a call if you need anything…” I said softly and I saw the familiar blank and listless look come into her eyes. I knew she was depressed, dealing with grief and pregnancy and loss but there was nothing I could do for her. Nothing. I had applied for a bunch of other jobs but they never wrote back. It wasn’t easy, being rejected over and over again but it wasn’t like there was much else I could do. And the truth was I was resigned to this, accepted that at some point I would have to take more loans and be stuck in an endless cycle of debt for the rest of my life.

And I had made peace with that.

There was no future for me. And I was okay with just surviving.

If only Jungkook would let me.

Apparently, watching me wipe down greasy tables and mop up floors and toilets trying to earn just enough to get a few square meals didn’t soothe his anger. It only fueled it. Jungkook couldn’t fathom that it had been six whole months of me on the streets of Seoul and I wasn’t completely destitute yet. I’d kept myself and my sister in law alive, safe and it pissed him off.

He wanted to see me broken and on my knees, begging him for help. The idea of me somehow surviving despite him taking everything away from me, it just didn’t sit well with him.

I couldn’t afford to have him as an enemy so all I could really hope was that one day he would wake up and give up. One day he would just wake up and decide that I wasn’t worth it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I walked into my shift and noticed a familiar pair of high heeled Louboutins , completely out of place in my seedy place of employment, I knew I was in trouble. Lisa sat against one of the booths and her gaze was fixated on the door which meant she was waiting for someone. And when her eyes narrowed at the sight of me, I just knew I was the someone.

She wants to get me fired.

It wasn’t rocket science and I felt the urge to turn right back around and leave. But I tamped down on it. I could get through this. I would get through this. Lisa and Jungkook got off on invoking reactions and I wouldn’t give them that.

Except it wasn’t that easy.

It was a nightmare, watching her demand and reject and walk all over me but the sleeplessness from the past few days made spacing out easier and I just stared away at the wall as she yelled and complained and made a scene.

“You’ve stopped fighting? Finally giving up? Good…” She hissed when the manager apologized to her and told me to meet him after my shift and I felt myself tremble in indignation.

“I won’t fight you or Jungkook, you and I both know I can’t afford to.” I said quietly and she went still, something flashing in her eyes for a second. It was gone before I could fully process it but it had been there. Guilt.

Lisa wasn’t a terrible human. She had been a dear friend. We had grown up together and she had even hugged and teased me when I’d been betrothed to Jungkook, all those years ago. I had been twenty back then, naïve and spoiled. While Jungkook had taken my father’s entire legacy apart, piece by piece, Lisa had been nothing more than a pawn. I remembered all the times I had let her home, how she would disappear for lengths of time.

Planting bugs all over the house. All over his office. Jungkook had been smart. Someone like Lisa, so fascinated by thr wealth she had grown up around would naturally jump at the idea of more. It wasn’t greed. It was human nature. And with her help he had destroyed everything my father had built over decades.

I shuddered. My father hadn’t been a good man. He had been greedy, yes. But he hadn’t deserved to die. And Jungkook would have to pay for that sin, someday.

“There’s a job waiting for you in Hoseok’s club.” She smiled cruelly , “ you don’t need this one.”

“The fact that you want to take it away from me, tells me that maybe there’s nothing left in you save.” I said blankly and she turned her nose up at me.

“I have Jungkook. I don’t need to be saved.”

I shook my head. She was so naïve. Men like Jungkook cared for nothing but themselves. But I wondered if women like her didn’t care for anything but the money that came with being his. Money was precious, I thought bitterly. I’d never realized how privileged I had been until I’d had it all ripped away.

“He’s the one you need saving from. And one day you’ll realize that.” I shrugged, not in the mood to offer her anymore life advice. If she was alright with being a trophy wife in exchange for a few pretty shoes that was her prerogative.

Before she could reply, my phone rang.

“Hello?” I asked nervously and I felt my heart drop to my knees when I heard who it was.

I turned on my heel rushing inside and my manager gave me a look of surprise.

“ My sister..she’s… she’s sick. I need to go.” I said desperately and his eyes narrowed. It was the worst timing. He was already annoyed because of Lisa and I stared in disbelief as he quickly shook his head.

“No. I’m sorry Elena…I just can’t let you leave like that…” He said sharply.

It was so unfair.

“I haven’t taken a single day off in five months…” I said desperately..” Please, she’s pregnant..She needs me, she-“

“If you leave, you won’t have a job to come back to. I can’t do this.. First you make trouble with a customer and now you just want to walk out in the middle of your shift without any notice…”

“Fine. Fire me.” I snapped, because I’d just had enough of it. I was exhausted, and tomorrow I’d go knocking on some other tore and I’d get a job. I lived in Seoul …How hard could it be? For now, I had to get to Jisoo. I had to get the hospital and things would be okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t okay.

“I… You want to keep her in? So soon?”

“Her blood pressure is through the roof. There are signs of severe pre eclampsia and we want to get her started on a magnesium drip. Steroids to help the baby’s lungs incase we need to deliver…”

“Deliver..?” I couldn’t breathe.

“Yes, I’m sorry…. If her blood pressure doesn’t come down we’re going to have to deliver.”

I nodded, glancing at the bed where Jisoo was sleeping, her face swollen and I knew that she was sick. Really sick. She looked pallid and ill.

“Is she going to be okay?” I asked hoarsely.

“We’re going to do what we can… But I’m going to be honest, we’re looking at a c section, a lot of meds and also some time in the NICU for the baby…. Can you afford it? Your sister’s insurance only covers 80% .”

I blinked, completely thrown. White noise rushed through my ears, a dull throb settling right at the base of my skull and beginning to spread all the way to my arms and back. It was panic mixed wth anxiety mixed with despair and I couldn’t quite cope. The earrings wouldn’t cover all that.

“Oh… Oh..yeah.” I said dully, “ Of course I can… Let me just…. Can I have a moment? There’s somethings I need to do.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I carefully slipped the cash into the envelope, swallowing as I sat on the pavement. I’d got another call from the hospital, they had administered the steroids but Jisoo’s condition seemed to be worsening. They wanted to try inducing labour soon but they wanted me to pay for the room and for the medicines, and apparently, the earrings weren’t as valuable as I thought they were.

I fought nausea wrapping arms around myself as I stared at the cars whizzing by, the putrid city air clogging my lungs as I tried to come to terms with what was happening. Jisoo needed help. She was the only one left and she carried my brother’s son. I felt my throat clog when I thought of Daehwan. He had been a good guy. I had loved him. It wasn’t fair, what Jungkook had done to my family, I thought miserably .

And the only reason I wasn’t driven by vengeance or anger was because I was nothing like Jungkook. I hated him. I didn’t want him to live in my head, didn’t want to waste any part of myself on him , not even my anger. But it was hard when he wouldn’t let me breathe, always at my heels like a wolf : jaws snapping and blood thirsty eyes trained on me at all times. I couldn’t fathom his obsession sometimes. Surely, his hatred was uncalled for now? He’d taken everything from me anyway.

There was a dull roaring in my ears, one that said that this was not really a surprise. I’d thought about it way too often, had considered it countless times. Had even spent one absolutely horrifying evening scouring the streets of Seoul’s red light district just to see how sex workers behaved.

I’d also realized that in the face of desperation, dignity didn’t hold much value.

You are going to pay your debts on your back and on your knees.

The first time Jungkook had thrown it at my face, eyes glinting with glee, my stomach had rebelled so hard. I’d been absolutely infuriated, had thrown a vase at him. And it had been awful, watching him catch it out of the air with ease, his mocking laughter making my bones rattle as he shook his head, “ That’s how this ends, Elena. Mark my words.”

And it was pitiful , that he went through life so consumed with hatred and vindictive cruelty that he couldn’t leave me alone . He was pathetic. That’s how I saw him. A pathetic child who refused to stop tormenting the helpless ant on the floor although it was no match for his cruelty.

At some point Jungkook was going to win. And his idea of winning was seeing me stripped bare of the one thing that kept me alive : my freedom.

It had just happened sooner than I’d thought.

Because I knew what it would mean, to go to Hoseok. He would own me. Hoseok’s whores were all slaves, tangled in his web so badly that there was no hope of escape. He wasn’t cruel but he was smart. No one left the his ‘ agency’ once they went in. I would be lost, forever. And I couldn’t stomach it.

I stared at my knees, fists clenched on the fabric of my skirt. I grabbed my phone, scrolling through the contacts. I considered it carefully. I had to do this on my terms. Had to make sure I retained some sort of control here.

And I knew just how to do it.

Hoseok picked up on the third ring.

“Hello.”

“I need help.” I croaked out.

The deep chuckle made my skin crawl.

“Elena Gong. What a wonderful, wonderful surprise. What can I do you for?” He drawled.

“Well sweetheart, I’m all out of charity so you’re going to have to make it worth my while.”

I took a deep breath.

“I’m a virgin.” I whispered.

The line went completely silent.

“What?” The amusement in his voice died.

“You heard me and I’ll let you cash in on it. I’ll let you auction it off…” I tamped down on the burning protest in my lung, the screaming inside my head that said it was horrifying, that I was considering this. “ But only if you keep my terms.”

“What makes you think you have a say in that.” He said sharply and I laughed.

“I belong to your world, Hoseok. Did you forget that we were friends, once.” I whispered and he didn’t reply.

Laughter, kindness, a big brother I could always count on, hobi oppa, nine year old me with my fingers curled around his wrist as we ran all around the gardens , a smile so wide that he could spread sunshine on the gloomiest days. Different from Jungkook and Namjoon and Yoongi and the others. Willing to include a ‘ girl’ in his playtime. Lisa and I the only girls, not even fazed watching as the rest of them wielded toy guns and mock interrogation scenes, pretending to kill and maim and torture because that was the world we were born into.

“We’re not friends, Elena. Let’s get that straight. The only part of you that holds any value to me is th part between your legs. So tell me, what do you want.”

“When was the last time you auctioned off someone’s virginity? You know how much money you can make off something like that. Not just from the sale itself but from the entire night. Your club… Your gaming hell…. All of it.”

“You expect me to believe you’re a virgin. At twenty seven.” He scoffed.

“Put the word out, everywhere. If you find one man who says he’s slept with me , I’ll back off.”

“That would require me to tarnish your family name. And you’re alright with that?”

I smiled biotterly.

“Isn’t that what you and your precious Jungkookie want? To see the last living Gong, be labeled as a whore and a slut.”

He didn’t reply.

“I’ll give you that. You can do it… You know that will only interest more people. As Jungkook so eloquently put it, most of them would love to fuck the defiance out of me.”

“What’s the catch. What do you want. ”

“2 billion won.” I said firmly “It will be one night. One night only and I want enough money to pay off every one of my father’s debts, to get me an apartment for my sister in law and to support her and her baby for a year at least.”

“Done.” He said without missing a beat and I went still. What must it be like, to throw around money like that without a care in the world. And it sickened me that Jungkook was probably ten times as rich as Hoseok , the money my father owed him and his associates not even pocket change in comparison to his gargantuan wealth and yet, he stayed on my heels, snapping his jaws like a dog with a bone.

“And Jungkook doesn’t get to watch.” I said softly, knowing exactly what Jungkook would get off on.

That made Hoseok laugh.

“You know him too well. I keep forgetting he was madly in love with you once.”

I resisted the urge to vomit. Jungkook didn’t know love. He knew ownership. He didn’t love me, he thought he owned me. That I was his to play with…. For the rest of his life. And when my father had denied him that, just like a toddler in a toy store being denied a shiny toy to break and trample on, he had thrown a temper tantrum.

Except his tantrums always ended in death and destruction.

“That’s the deal. He doesn’t turn up there to gloat.”

“He’s heading out to Switzerland for a week , two days from now.” Hoseok said evenly.

“Good then. My sister in law…she “ I swallowed. “ She’s in a hospital in Yongsan. I’ll send you the address.”

“I’ll take care of it. But I want you here tonight. I’m not going to drop a couple billion won on your head without making sure I’m getting my money’s worth. And I can’t have you changing your mind and bolting either. My reputation is on the line here. If I put out the word that I’m serving something so fucking delicious and then back out, they’re not going to want to buy Hobi’s wares anymore. You understand what I’m saying darling?” Hoseok drawled and I knew exactly what he was saying. If I agreed to this, it was blanket consent for him to whatever he wanted.

“I won’t back out. I can’t. But this is one night. One night with whichever bastard you choose and that’s it. I want out. I don’t want you or Jungkook hounding me again. Ever.” My voice shook as I dug my fingers into my knees.

“My men will be there in ten minutes. Sit tight, princess.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stared at Hoseok as he carefully poured me a finger of whiskey, neat. He gave me a smirk and I shrugged.

“you remember.” I said casually, throat itching because it had been way too long since I’d had quality alcohol. I missed the burn, the warmth , the numbness that followed.

“Of course I do. You could drink all of us under the table with little effort. It was spectacular.” He laughed and I leaned back against the couch, letting my head fall back.

“I was half certain that you would have a doctor around to make sure I’m a virgin.” I stared at him and he shrugged. “ Pointless. You’re twenty seven, you’ve probably had stuff up there anyway… Not like your hymen’s still going to be intact.”

I thought it was rather horrifying, that I didn’t feel nearly as mortified as I should. This was how Hoseok talked, matter of fact and open and that was why he was so popular. Anytime an important person came into the country, Hobi was the one who offered entertainment for the night. Hobi’s girls were always the prettiest, most well behaved and perfect. They were educated, knew what they were talking about and he didn’t force them into the life. They loved it, enjoyed it and it showed.

Not to say he was a saint.

Far from it.

Hoseok knew how to dine with kings in castles but also how to wrestle with swine in the gutter. The seedy brothels in Seoul’s back alleys were his as well, and he ruled his kingdom with an iron hand. The prostitutes there feared him, one look or word enough to silence any rebellion, any thought of escape.

He was called Hope. And yet somehow that was exactly what he denied the women under him. There was no hope here. There was only lust and power and money. You came to Hobi…. You never left .

I took the glass he offered, taking a small sip, savoring the taste.

“But you believe me. I wonder why.” I watched him closely and he scoffed.

“Between your father and Jungkook, no one ever really had the pluck to come anywhere near you did they?”

Undisputable.

I sighed, leaning back to stare at him.

“Do you think dying hurts?” I asked softly.

It was frightening, how his entire body went stiff, eyes wide and jaw dropping.

“Elena, what the fuck-“

“Its just a question. You’ve killed people. You’ve watched them die… how do you think they feel?” I asked , curious.

“None of them wanted to die. If that’s what you’re asking.” The look in his eyes made me nervous.

I stared at him and the question was obvious. None of them wanted to die, but do you?

I didn’t.

“I’m not thinking of killing myself , oppa. Stop looking so horrified.” I laughed. He shook his head.

“ Don’t joke about that. It’s not fucking funny.”

I sobered up, remembering with a jolt. Ah, of course.

“I’m sorry. I forgot.” I said quietly.

Hoseok’s little sister had killed herself when I was seventeen. She was a year older than me and her father had lost her in a wager to a seventy year old man, known for torturing his bedmates. She had heard the news, taken a deep breath and taken a deep dive off the seventeeth floor of the condo where she lived with her mother.

I’d been engaged to Jungkook by then. And I had almost wanted it. Jungkook wasn’t old at least… twenty one to my seventeen.

“Just so you know, he’s going to find out. And he’s not going to like it.”

I shrugged. Three years is a long time to be preyed upon and now my mind was resigned to a life of being hunted. Hoseok was right. Jungkook would find out and he wouldn’t like it.

Good.

“I don’t care what he does anymore. All I care is that Jisoo and the baby are left out of whatever plans he has…. If you promise me you’ll keep them safe , I’ll cooperate.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a baby boy.

I stared, fingers itching to hold the baby but it was impossible, the little one whisked away to the NICU right after with respiratory distress and Jisoo had gone into a seizure, eyes rolling back into her eyes.

She as alright now, resting in a VIP room with the best care money could buy. Hoseok had asked me if I was happy with the arrangements, and if I would name the boy after him.

I stared at the room, large and breezy and filled with flowers and gifts, toys and baby stuff and I knew right then that I had sealed my fate. I was going to have to go through with this. I could imagine how much Jisoo would protest when she came to her senses. The only relief was that it would take her a few days to be good enough to fight or protest. But then this would all be over and done with.

Jungkook would leave this afternoon. His flight was at three.

I would reach the club at five. The patrons would arrive at seven.

One night, I reminded myself , staring at the gentle rise and fall of Jisoo’s chest as she slept, my fingers playing with the soft skin on her wrist. The IV line went through her veins and I watched the gentle drip of it.

One night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn’t know how auctions happened and while I’d been prepared for the worst kind of humiliation, Hoseok assured me that he wasn’t going to make me stand naked on some podium or something.

“Generally, I would do something like that simply for the flair of it but consider this a favor ….a respite because you were, as you said, once a friend.” He gave me an even smile and I could only nod in mute relief.

I was grateful. Beyond grateful.

And what was more, he hadn’t told anyone, who I was.

That stunned me. Because wasn’t that the selling point? The murderous, greedy mob rat Gong Hyo Suk’s only daughter forced to spread her legs for one lucky stranger? If Hoseok had cashed in on that he would have made a fortune. But he hadn’t. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Would , whoever it was be upset if he recognized me?

I was led to a bedroom, large and tastefully decorated with silky satin sheets and dark curtains and dim lighting that lit up parts of the room and left other parts plunged in darkness. Hoseok had told me to wear whatever I wanted and I realized with a pang that he really didn’t see this as some sort of transaction. He was trying to make it as easy as possible without making any decisions for me. Offering me choices and options and some illusion of being in control.

I didn’t have anything fancy so it was just a dress shirt that I borrowed from Hoseok. I’d left the underwear off, eager to merely get the whole thing over with. I felt a sudden overwhelming urge to laugh out loud.

If Jungkook were here he really would have lost his damn mind, simply because of how little this whole thing affected me. And that was it, really. He was always desperate for a reaction.

Earlier when this whole thing had started, I’d obliged him with that. I would scream, rant and yell….launch myself at him like a wildcat, scratching at him , fists flying and it was obscene, how much he seemed to enjoy that. He would press me up against walls and tables , fingers choking the breath out of my lung, just so he could see me struggle and push back.

He fed off from every negative reaction I offered him and it had taken me a long long time that the way to beat him was to become passive, unresponsive. I would go limp in his arms, stare at him blankly as he tried to manhandle me and that…that had pissed him off. Because that meant I wasn’t playing his game anymore.

If the prey wasn’t playing, the game wasn’t fun anymore. It was drab.

Boring.

And I knew that Jungkook kept raising the stakes, kept tightening the noose around my neck….just to bring that girl out again. The one that had wanted to put up a fight . The one that wanted to mouth off even with the muzzle of a gun pressed against her head. The one who would spit in his face in front of all his associates, even if it earned her a vicious strike of his hand across her face.

I shuddered. They weren’t memories I liked reliving.

Well, if that was who he wanted, I’d make sure he would never see her again.

The door opening made me jump and Hoseok came in , with a wide grin on his face.

“Baby…. Your guest for the night.” He said softly and I peered over his shoulders, my heart and mind grinding to a halt when I caught sight of what had to be the most breathtakingly beautiful man on the face of the planet.

I felt my heart begin to pound, fear taking over because this wasn’t okay. Not really. I was okay with old, creepy and disgusting , not able to get it up for more than ten minutes.

I wasn’t okay with someone who looked like they stepped right out of the latest issue of GQ.

Hoseok left quickly, closing the door behind him and the man stepped into the light, the brightness lighting up his perfect features even more. I felt my throat go dry, and fought the urge to get up and run. Growing up as the daughter of a mobster , I’d learned how to trust my instincts over appearances.

And right now, every single one of those instincts screamed at me that this man was absolutely dangerous.

“Well, you are beautiful. I’ll give you that. “ He said casually.

“Thank you.” I said stiltedly, watching as he tugged on his tie, pulling it off his neck deftly . Instead of tossing it aside , he wrapped it a bunch of times around his wrist over and over as he smiled at me.

“Don’t thank me yet. The only reason I like beautiful things is because of how easily they break.” He smiled. “ I haven’t been with a virgin in a while…. I miss the screams.”

And there it was the full blown panic that came with stark terror. I crawled back on the bed, staring as he moved closer and there was no mistaking the look on his face, the harsh grip of his hand on my ankle telling me that I was going to regret every one of the choices that led me here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hoseok wasn’t at the airport.” Jungkook observed casually, glancing at Yoongi as the latter finished cleaning his gun carefully, eyes fixed on his weapon with utmost concentration.

“He’s holding some sort of auction tonight. Some chick …” Yoongi said casually and Jungkook hummed. It was not the kind of thing he was interested in. Anonymous bids were often boring : actresses or female idols past their prime, desperate to make some money to survive. He had no interest in those but he was a little peeved that Hoseok hadn’t told him anything about it.

Hoseok was one of Jungkook’s most trusted friends. He was almost as powerfully rich as Jungkook and the only reason Jungkook reigned supreme was because Hoseok had no interest in challenging him for the throne. Hoseok was dangerous and cunning and loyal and Jungkook was grateful to have him on his side and he had hoped to see him before leaving. Just to ask him to keep an eye on Elena.

He grimaced, hating himself.

God, he couldn’t go two hours without thinking of her. It fucked with his head, the amount of space she took up inside him. Jungkook , for all his wealth and power, was driven solely by his need to prove himself. He wanted to be powerful and terrifying yes, but more than that , he wanted people to know.

He wanted people to look him in the eye and acknowledge him for what he was : the most dangerous man in the country. He liked seeing that fear, that worship, that admiration. He got off on it. He wanted it , craved it and for some reason he craved it more from her , than anyone else.

And instead of giving him what he wanted, instead of begging on her knees for mercy, instead of licking his shoes and begging for him to let her live….she ignored him. She looked at him with defiance and pride, her chin straight and her back unbending, her gaze locked right on him like she was his fucking equal….

And Jungkook, he’d taken a lot of insults. Taken more than his fair share of hits in life …..

But when she looked at him like that , like he was something stuck to the bottom of her shoe….

Fuck it drove him wild with fury.

It made him want to teach her a fucking lesson, to remind her that he owned her because he owned everything. To break her down, snuff out the flames of defiance that burned so bright in those ember eyes… Take her into his bed and brand her with his body. Till she was on the floor, on her knees covered in his spit and cum begging for mercy….

Because no one looked at Jeon Jungkook like that and lived to tell the tale..

“Seokjin’s here. Landed in Korea a couple of hours ago. ” Yoongi said casually and Jungkook smiled a bit at that. He loved his older brother, technically a step brother and growing up he had only saw him when he visited his mother in China. That meant a couple of months a year and now as adults, a bit more often because Seokjin loved Jungkook and liked to visit him often.

Seokjin was a celebrity trainer, working with actors and athletes and he did a good amount of modeling as well. He was rich, handsome and well liked and the only thing that gave away the Jeon blood in him was the fact that he was a sexual sadist.

The face of an angel with a devilish streak, he had a penchant for sadism and inflicting pain on his partners and while Jungkook didn’t particularly enjoy indulging him, he knew there were women who were into that and usually had them arranged for when Seokjin dropped by in Korea. His hyung’s visit seldom lasted more than a few weeks at a time and it was a pity that he would miss out one whole week of it .

But the issue in Switzerland was a little pressing and Jungkook had to be there in person to sort it out.

He leaned back against the seat, staring out of the window, sighing.

“An unsullied dove ….What the fuck is this shit..” Yoongi muttered and Jungkook turned, curious.

“What?”

“Hoseok’s been hyping up some new girl for the auction and Seokjin hyung’s bidding on her.”

Jungkook laughed at that.

“Jungkook…..” Yoongi’s voice is completely stunned, his eyes confused as he looks up at Jungkook.” Its Elena.”

Jungkook’s thought process came to a grinding halt.

There’s a sound between his ears, a dull rushing sound like the wind in a storm and he can’t quite comprehend what he just heard. Even Namjoon who had been buried in his laptop , looked up then, tugging an airpod out of his ear.

“Wait…did you say Elena?” His eyes were wide , lips parted in shock. Yoongi and Namjoon exchanged glances, no doubt bracing themselves for the explosion that was to follow.

Jungkook took a deep breath.

“Turn the fucking plane around.”

That jolted Namjoon out of his stunned stupor..

“Turn-? Jungkook what…. We’re on a fourteen hour flight-“ Namjoon began but the look on Jungkook’s face made him stop.

“DID I FUCKING STUTTER?”

Namjoon swore.

“Fucking hell… alright just calm the fuck down, Jesus…just put a fucking bullet in that girl’s head and spare us all the headache fuck…” He growled, unbuckling his seat belt and rushing to the cockpit and Yoongi groaned.

“ Let me guess you want me to get in touch with someone in Seoul and ask Hoseok to hold off on letting Seokjin near her…”

Jungkook glared at him.

“If you already know that why the fuck are you still here…” He growled and Yoongi gave him a look.

“Just tell her you’re in love with her and let us live, Jeon Jungkook.”

In love….. what the fuck….

He glared at Yoongi’s back, his asinine words making him madder. God he wanted to crush someone’s skull into dust with his bare hands.

And right now, in his head , that skull belonged to Jung fucking Hoseok.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What just happened?” I asked, frantic staring at the door as Hoseok’s men casually led a fuming Seokjin away while the man himself stared at me, looking pale as parchment.

“ Jungkook found out.” He said shortly and I felt my heart drop although I was half relieved because there had been something insane in Kim Seokjin’s gaze when he’d reached for me , a cruel glint of hunger that told me he would have hurt me really badly if Hoseok hadn’t barged into the room , frantic and worried.

He had given Seokjin a wide smile and then, “ I’m so sorry. We were waiting on her blood results and turns out she has a…. well, certain occupational disease that is very infectious.”

Seokjin’s mouth had dropped open even wider than mine.

“I thought she was a fucking virgin.” He had snapped, and I flinched at how cold and furious he had sounded.

But apparently there was a reason this whole thing had happened.

“What do you mean Jungkook knows? What does that mean?” I asked frantically, fear taking over.

“ He’s heading back here… He wants to see you.”

I felt my entire body go ice cold as I shook my head…

“No…fucking no bring Seokjin back here , he can fuck me that was the fucking deal, Hobi, please don’t../…”

“Elena , I’m so fucking sorry.. Seokjin…he’s fucked in the head…. He likes hurting his whores, likes making them bleed and he would have fucking destroyed you…”

I gaped at him horrified.

“What?!” I hissed shaking my head in disbelief.

“He’s Jungkook’ stepbrother. I’ve arranged whores for him before, I knew he was a little crazy but I’d never seen him before and I didn’t know he was the Kim Seokjin…fuck he outbid everyone and fucker looks like a fucking angel, how the fuck was I supposed to know he’s unhinged? Thankfully, I messaged Yoongi and …. Fuck… Listen… I know I paid for your sister’s surgery but you’re going to have to pay me back….”

I felt my body convulse in rebellion.

“I can’t.. You know I fucking can’t…”

“I can’t make an enemy out of Jungkook…. I can’t.” Hoseok shook his head. “ You can get out of here now if you want but I’d advise you to stay. If you run it’s only going to make Jungkook angrier.”

“WHAT DID I FUCKING DO TO HIM?!!!” I screamed, feeling my composure crumble into smithereens. “WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE WANT FROM ME?!!”

Hoseok flinched, stepping back and holding his hands up.

“Whether I want to or not, I answer to Jungkook. I shouldn’t have done this in the first place , I’m sorry Elena.” He shook his head and stepped back like the coward that he was and I wanted to hurt him. To shake him and ask him to fucking remember who I was. That I had nothing to do with my father’s sins . That I had been a fucking marionette in his hands, had wanted nothing more than to be left alone.

I stared at him in disbelief.

“So much for being a friend…” I whispered.

His jaw tightened. But he didn’t look guilty. None of them ever did. It was like guilt didn’t exist in their world. They did what they wanted to whoever they wanted , whenever they wanted and they got away with it because that bastard’s word was law. What Jeon Jungkook wanted, he got.

“I’ll get your clothes sent in.”

I watched him leave, the door slamming shut behind him and sagged against the bed, staring at myself. What had just happened?

Was I born to endless misery and misfortune?

Couldn’t I catch a fucking break?

I’d agreed to sell myself hadn’t I? Would have even let Seokjin hurt me if that was what he wanted. Because it was one night. It was one night of this…whatever the hell this was and then freedom. That was the deal.

The door opened again and I stared as a young girl brought me a pile of my clothes neatly folded.

“Do you work here?” I said sharply.

She blinked before bowing her head.

“Yes, mistress.”

I scoffed.

“Don’t call me mistress , I’m here to get fucked, just like you. Tell me does Jungkook ever use the women here.” I demanded.

She looked trapped, glancing at the door, clearly wanting to run .

“Tell me.” I snapped and she flinched.

“I..uh..yes. Sometimes.” She said softly.

“Can you tell whoever fucks him next to kick him in the fucking balls?”

The girl bowed deeply and all but ran out and I sighed, feeling myself shaking. Jungkook was on the way here and I wanted to yell and scream and rave at him but I knew that was exactly what he wanted. I wanted to deny him the satisfaction …wanted to act all cool and composed in front of him but it was impossible…

Because I hadn’t realized just how tired I was of this whole thing, till right this moment, when the end had been in sight. I was supposed to get my two billion won pay off all the debt , give Jisoo the rest of the money and disappear. I was so tired, so tired of this life I’d gotten trapped into, slaving over for hours on end just to afford a couple of meals a day. No friends, no boyfriends, no hope of a future …..

The door banged open and I jumped, crawling back when I recognized the man who had just entered.

“Yoongi-“

“Jungkook wants to see you.” He ground out and I swallowed.

“I need to get dressed. Please just wait outside.” I said shakily.

And then the door opened further and a tall looming shadow stepped in familiar and vomit inducing.

Jungkook looked livid, piercing glinting through the dimply lit room and I stared at him. He was dressed in a tight black t shirt, he sleeves stretched thin over his biceps and the tattoos stark against his skin.

“Leave us.” He said softly and Yoongi moved away to the door leaving me alone with the devil himself. I cursed myself for not putting at least my panties on, I was naked underneath this shirt and although it was big it left nothing to the imagination.

Jungkook’s eyes raked over my form before resting on my face.

“You think you’re smart enough to outsmart me, Elena?” He whispered softly.

I swallowed.

“Send you brother back in. He can fuck me and I’ll pay you back.”

Jungkook hummed, stepping closer and grabbing my clothes from the bed, he grabbed the plain white bra and the pastel pink underwear and then to my complete and utter mortification he brought the clothing up to his face, breathing in .

“Fucking pervert!!!” I screamed, feeling the action like a physical touch and wanting to claw his eyes out and the smirk on his face told me that this was exactly what he wanted but I was too fucking gone to care.

“If you want me to be a whore, fine. I’ll be a whore. But on my terms…” I spat out and he shook his head, laughing.

“I don’t just want you to be a whore, Elena. I want everyone to know that you are one…” He dropped my clothes and moved closer, holding a hand out. “ Come here.”

I stared at the inked fingers, adorned with sterling silver rings and bracelets with the motifs of his gang. I shook my head.

“No. I’m not playing this game with you.” I turned my face away.

His hand shot out gripping my upper arm with enough strength to bruise and I screamed, agony shooting up my arm and shoulders as he dragged me off the bed and onto the floor. I landed hard, hips and elbows bruising from impact and I stared at him in disbelief.

“I’ve been to gentle with you. You’ve forgotten your fucking place.” He bent over and grabbed me by my hair, yanking me to my feet so hard that it felt like my scalp had been ripped away from my skull.

“Okay…okay…Okay Jungkook..just…!!” I said softly, flinching because my pain tolerance was almost zero and Jungkook’s grip was so hard that my eyes were beginning to water now. He let me go, grabbing my panties off the floor and tossing them at me.

“I’m going to count to five. Put those on and get out.”

He walked out of the door and I stumbled a little fumbling with the fabric before quickly, slipping my legs in and yanking it up to my waist. I made to put on something else but his voice came, loud and impatient.

“Get the fuck out here.”

I walked out of the door and he was standing there next to Hoseok. I couldn’t meet either of their gazes , hating how they had so much power over my life. I stared at the floor. It was tempting to yell at them and scream but that never led anywhere.

“ I’ve asked them to stop the payment on the Hospital bill. Seeing as Elena hasn’t kept her end of the bargain.”

I felt my breath hitch at that, willing down the tears as I glared at him.

“What do you want?” I snapped. “ Tell me who you want me to fuck…. I’ll do it. Let’s get this over with so you can go back to whatever sewer you fucking climbed out of. ….”

Hoseok’s breath caught like he couldn’t believe what I’d just said and the look in his eye was a warning but I was sick of this. Sick of them all.

Jungkook turned to Hoseok with a laugh.

“You see hyung? See why I can’t let her go? If I let her scot free, everyone’s going to think I’m a pushover….that any worthless bitch can talk to me any way she wants and get away with it….” He shook his head, staring at me with a glint in his eye. “ I’m not going to choose. They are. You think you can charm your way into Hoseok’s heart and get special treatment? You think you’re ready to be a whore, Elena? Let me show you how a real whore gets treated in Hoseok’s club.”

He gripped my wrist, yanking me behind him as he stalked off down the narrow corridor that opened up into the club. I let myself get dragged out into the club dismally aware of the fact that I was wearing nothing but Hoseok’s shirt. I could feel eyes on me but I kept mine on the back of Jungkook’s head as he dragged me all the way to the front. I knew what he was going to do and at this point I was just numb.

There was no point reasoning with the devil.

I glared at him as he pointed at the stage. “ Get up there.” He whispered harshly.

I stared back at him, not moving. I saw Jungkook’s jaw clench.

“Either you go up there by yourself, with your clothes on. Or I carry you up there, after stripping you naked. What’s it going to be? ”

I glared at him, pursing my lips before climbing up using the small stair in the side. I moved to the center, right in front of the stage lights, so the rest of the room would disappear. I had no wish to see any of the bastards in the room.

“I think all of you recognize this little beauty here, don’t you?” Jungkook’s voice was cheerful, friendly even and I bit my lips, fists clenched. “ Well, if you don’t let me tell you . This is Gong Hyo Suk’s daughter. Remember that bastard? He put a hit out on my father. Killed him and my mom on the night I was supposed to be marrying his fucking daughter. A daughter who later called off the wedding, because I was too poor now, to give her the life she deserved. ”

I felt the familiar ice cold guilt in my vein. I was seventeen, I wanted to scream. I was seventeen and all I did was say what my father asked me to say, do what my father asked me to do.

“ That was nine fucking years ago… and you know what I told myself…. I told myself, that a greedy little bitch like this, doesn’t deserve shit.” He laughed. “ If money’s what she values the most, then the only thing she deserves is to be treated like the whore she is.”

“Why don’t you guys tell me, how much money you’d be willing to spend, to fuck her? Come on, Hobi’s been treating you guys so well lets help him make some money tonight… be generous. ”

I could barely hear what they were calling out but when Jungkook climbed onto the stage next to me, I jumped. Moving back instinctively, I winced when brought a forearm around my throat nearly choking me as he dragged up against his body.

“90 million won….That’s a lot.” He grinned. “ Jihan hyung….. that was you right? You’re gonna pay 90 million won for her?”

I felt my heart race, it was a lot. More than enough for the Hospital Bills, would even leave extra to get a decent apartment somewhere... I grabbed his wrist as it pressed into my throat, trying to pull his hand off me but he just wrapped his free hand around my waist, wrapping his entire body around mine and chuckling into my hair.

Jungkook pressed his head against mine and I froze, hating the close contact.

“Okay…but since I’m feeling a bit left out here…Why don’t I pitch in… 500 Won.” Jungkook said loud and clear.

I froze. An eerie silence fell over the club, laughter stilling and the clink of glasses slowing down.

What.

I struggled to get away from his but his hold tightened.

“Anyone else?” He called out. “ Come on… Not even thousand? Surely you think this one here’s worth a thousand won? Aren’t you going to outbid me?”

No one responded of course they didn’t. Jungkook’s anger was palpable and no one was going to get on his wrong side …..

“Ahh… is that it then? Bid’s going to close for 500 won then…. Hear that baby?” He whispered against my ears and I swallowed. “ 90, million won to five hundred won in a few seconds… What does that tell you?”

“It tells me you’re a fucking psychopath in love with your own voice… Get off me.” I hissed.

“No. What it tells you is that only I get to decide how much that body of yours is worth, not you. . You don’t get to go sell your fucking body behind my back for two billion won and then pay off all your debts and ride off into the sunset, that is not how this works….”

I went limp in his arms fighting tears because he never played fair. Never.

“Hear that Hoseok-ah… I win her for the night for 500 won…fair and square…. Is that alright?” He called out into the darkness and I felt the first inkling of dread begin to seep in.

“No.. No… get off me.” I hissed and he laughed, dragging me off the stage with ease. I screamed, kicking out in disbelief.

Jungkook grinned at me, before grabbing both my arms and yanking them behind me, and I whimpered, unable to move as he easily pulled me along to the door that opened into the hallway. Behind us I heard Hoseok’s voice.

“Jungkook, don’t be impulsive. Think about whatever you’re going to do.”

I flinched at that, panic building.

“He’s not going to do anything. I’ll fucking kill him if he touches me , I-“

“Shut the fuck up, you little bitch.” He shook me hard till my teeth rattled and I sobbed out.

“Jungkook…” Hoseok warned but he merely snarled.

“I know what I’m doing hyung, just…. Don’t disturb us. And make sure everyone here knows that she’s open for business.” It was loud enough to carry through the club and I felt humiliation burn my throat, acrid like acid.

I froze in disbelief.

“Jungkook …” Hoseok’s voice held a tone of reproach.

“ And tell them that her body is amazing. Tell them she spent the night with me , the best fuck I’ve ever had , mouth made for cock.”

I stared straight ahead as he pulled me all the way to the room we had left earlier and I tripped when he shoved me inside, landing on my hands and knees . I quickly rolled back around to land on my ass, crawling back as he slammed the door shut and locked it from the inside.

He stared down at me, mouth grim.

“You do owe me a wedding night. I was so ready to fuck your tight cunt, nine years ago… I think I’ve waited long enough yeah.”

I stared at him in disbelief. I knew exactly what he wanted me to do, to yell and scream and protest and fight so he could get off and forcing me…. Fucking psychopath.

I took a deep breath and nodded.

“If you pay for my sister in laws bills, and give me an apartment sure. “ I shrugged. “You’re not any different from any of the bastards here. I don’t give a damn which one of you idiots wants to rut into me like the absolute animal that you are…. I don’t care…” I said softly.

“you don’t? Really? You want me to tell you what your brother said when one of my men put a gun into his mouth…. He begged for his life…said he had a kid on the way….” Jungkook laughed, shaking his head. “I told him it was better than what his father did…. My sister was six months pregnant when his lieutenant gunned her down on the streets.”

I shuddered, wrapping my arms around myself.

“Why are you telling me this…” I snapped.

“Because she didn’t deserve it did she, Elena? She didn’t fucking deserve to die like that , like a dog on the street when she had nothing to do with any of this…. She didn’t deserve it.” He growled, bending down and gripping my chin hard.

“Maybe she did deserve it.” I spat out. “ If I deserve to be here, maybe your sister deserved to die too. “

He snarled, hand flying to my hair and dragging me up off the floor in one sharp yank. I whimpered as he pushed me on the bed, before climbing on top of me. I felt like every bone in my body was about to snap in two, the weight of him unbearable on me.

“I won the bid tonight…. I won it fair and square… You signed the waiver didn’t you…that you agreed to the auction…I won and I’m going to fucking collect.” He growled, and I kicked out, trying to buck him off of my body.

“Get off me.” I hissed. “ I’m not letting you fuck me for 500 won.”

“How about for your Jisoo then?” He whispered and I went still.

“What?”

He chuckled, reaching down and I felt my pulse pound as he pulled his phone out, dialing quickly and turning on the speakers.

Yoongi’s voice made me go ice cold. Everyone knew what Yoongi did for Jungkook.

“Daehwan’s wife is in a hospital room in Yongsan. Hobi’s got the details. I think she’s served her purpose.”

“No!! JUNGKOOK NO!!” I screamed , thrashing so hard my head began to spin but he grunted pressing down into me harder.

“Are you serious? I’m not home yet… I can take care of it tonight.” Yoongi said, voice casual and I sobbed, shaking my head in sheer terror.

“Okay… I’ll behave.. I promise.. please just don’t…”

Jungkook hummed.

“Well, that was easy… Yoongi-yah… why don’t you stay on the phone yeah…. Going to get that wedding night I’m owed and if my baby doesn’t co operate you know what to do, yeah?”

I bit my lips, glaring into the sheets as he gripped my waist, pulling me up.

“Ass up like the bitch that you are, baby.” He whispered and I felt my entire body shudder in disgust. It was worse because I hadn’t done this before. Didn’t know what to expect. But I couldn’t let him know that. If Jungkook knew that I was a virgin, I could just imagine how much fun he’d have with that info.

Hands gripped my wrists, pinning them to the bed and I turned my face away when I felt the press of his lips on my cheeks. He gripped both my wrists with one hand, keeping them pinned over my head and I flinched when I felt his fingers pulling the fabric of my panties aside, just enough for the blunt head of his cock to press against my slit.

“Yoongi, you there?” Jungkook said softly and Yoongi grunted over the phone. I felt my face flame in embarrassment.

“You’re a sick bastard but I’m used to it. What’s up?” he said casually.

“Remember how we used to wonder just how tight Elena’s cunt was… back when we were in school.”

Fucking monster, I thought in disbelief. I hate him I hate him I hate him….

“Good times…” Yoongi chuckled lightly .

Jungkook pushed into me in one hard thrust and pain shot straight up my spine, my insides burning like he’d fucked me with a knife and not his body. I couldn’t stop the cry of agony that got torn of me, my eyes tearing up and tears spilling over onto my cheeks.

“Damn Jungkook, she okay?” Yoongi’s chuckle made me want to claw his face off, and just the urge to kill was growing inside me.

“Well, I can confirm that it is, in fact just as tight as we thought…” He grunted, thrusting into me at a pace that was inhumane, every push and drag of him rubbing my insides raw and I bit down on the sheets under me, afraid that I would do something absolutely humiliating, like beg him to stop.

“Good, you should let me take that tight ass for a ride someday then. With her permission of course…. I’m a gentleman after all. Big on consent.” He laughed and I swallowed the urge to tell him that I would puncture his balls with a switchblade if he came anywhere near me.

“Oh, she’s going to do whatever I ask her to….aren’t you baby…” He grunted, “ Turn around so I can see you.”

He pulled out of me, his weight lifting off my body as he moved away. I couldn’t move, limbs numb and insides throbbing in pain . His palm landed on my thigh, hard and the sharp sting of it made me jump.

“I said turn around, I want to see your face when I fuck you.” Jungkook growled. I stayed limp, breathing hard and he grunted impatient, fingers sinking into my hair , yanking me to my knees and the movement made my legs scream in protest.

“How’s she so quiet? You fucked the voice out of her, kook-ah?” Yoongi asked amused and Jungkook pulled me by the hair, dragging me to the center and pushing me down till my head landed on the pillow.

“Hyung you should see her right now, all fucked out …. Like she’s never had a dick in her before.” He shook his head, “ Fucking slut. Take that off and hold yourself open for me.”

I stared at him, uncomprehending and he grabbed both my hands, placing them on my knees.

“Grab your knees and pull your legs back… So I can fuck that tight cunt the way I want to.” He said slowly, like I was a dog he was trying to train and I stared at him , defiantly.

“ Go to hell.” I whispered.

Yoongi’s laughter came from somewhere to the right.

“Your dirty talk needs work, Kook ah… Tell her she’s a precious little kitten and she makes you feel really good…. Bitches love that shit…”

Jungkook hovered over me, grabbing the back of my thighs and spreading them wide enough to make me whimper in pain.

“Is that so babygirl? You want me to tell you that? That you make daddy’s cock feel good?” He cooed, nudging the tip against me again and I had never hated anyone so much in my life. I stared up at his face, and he smiled at me, a cheeky little grin that made his bunny teeth stand out and for a second he looked so deceptively angelic and the glimmer of his piercing caught my eye.

I couldn’t help but swallow, gaze trained on the glint of metal on his tongue.

“You like that?” He grinned suddenly, sticking his tongue out for me to see, I felt my eyes widen at how sinfully good he looked .” Hyung she likes my tongue piercing.”

“Show her how it feels on her clit.” Yoongi laughed and I could barely fully process what I heard before Jungkook was crawling down my body, arms, curling on my thighs and yanking me onto his tongue .

I felt the press of his tongue on my slit, licking right into me and the jolt of pleasure was so unexpected, the pleasure so unwanted and yet so overwhelming and I couldn’t stop the way my body thrashed against the streets, lips parted as I practically mewled out in pleasure.

“Definitely a kitten…” Yoongi called out and I shuddered as Jungkook slipped two fingers into me , the ice cold press of his ring inside me making me jump. I wanted to pull away, grab his hair and yank him off but I couldn’t because it was

“Next time I’ll put the dick piercing in too, yeah? Fuck you with a bit of metal on my cock so you can feel that up there…. ” He laughed into my thighs and I screamed when he bit into the flesh there , hard.

“I’m getting bored… Either turn on facetime so I can at least jerk off to this , or I’m hanging up…” Yoongi called out .

“Hyung she clenches down on me every time she hears your voice… Just stay on for a few more minutes yeah, she tastes so fucking good, I’m gonna cum soon….” Jungkook added another finger, slipping in deep before spreading them apart inside me. I whimpered when he pushed his tongue in between the wet digits, licking into my walls and I could feel the ball of his piercing drag against my walls, ice cold and hard.

Was it fucked up that I did clench down on him again, my body apparently a slave to my base desires even as my mind screamed that he was the absolute worst bastard on the face of the planet.

“Elena, you owe me a blowjob at least for this…” Yoongi called out and I glared at the phone.

“I’ll bite your fucking dick off if you come anywhere near me.” I snapped.

“Fuck, I could get off just to that mouthy fuckhole of hers…..” Yoongi grunted.

Jungkook pulled away, climbing back up over me and lightly slapping my breasts.

“Now, how about you open that mouth and let me fuck it?”

Yoongi snorted from behind us and Jungkook glared at the phone before glaring at me again.

“Well?”

“You want to know how hard I can bite?” I said sharply, the pleasure ebbing away into nothing and resentment taking it place, the momentarily physicality of the situation fading and the reminder of who he was and who I was entering my sex addled brain.

“No.. You’re right…. But you know what, I’m not feeling it anymore. I was right.. you really aren’t qualified to be my whore. Your body…it’s frigid like a fucking popsicle…such a fucking turn off. ” He reached over and hung up on the phone.

“Now…”he whispered, leaning in closer and I yelped, when his fingers closed over my throat..” Shut your mouth and take what I give you like a grateful bitch.”

I swallowed when he pushed into me again, his pace steady as he fucked into me, eyes closed and I realized that he was almost fully dressed having just unbuttoned himself enough to get his cock out.

When he stiffened, spilling into me his eyes blew open and he locked eyes with me, wide eyed and for one horrible second he looked young and vulnerable and hurt.

I blinked as he pulled out, the sticky warm mess of his cum dripping down my inner thighs and onto the sheets.

“Well, that was much worse than I thought it would be.” He said and I stayed on the bed as he grabbed his phone and buttoned himself back up.

He smirked at me and then reached into his pocket.

I quickly pulled myself together, ignoring the aches and pains and getting to my knees before reaching for my dress on the bed. it was kind of pointless because I still had Hoseok’s shirt on and I wasn’t going to take that off in front of Jungkook.

“Well, I’m a man of my word , Elena so…here you go..just as we discussed.” He tossed a coin on the bed and I stared at the engraved 500 on the shiny surface, feeling my rage swell inside me.

“If you still want to work out a payment plan for your sister’s bills …. Why don’t you come to my office tomorrow?” He tossed his card on the bed before moving away to the door.

Fucking bastard.

Author’s note : My whole life is filled with regrets .

#jungkook smut #bts smut #ts fics #jungkook fics #bts fanfic #jungkook mafia au #bts mafia au

695 notes · View notes