#i made this with the story im writing and this song is a big inspiration for said story!!!

[chrisevansredbelt]

Playing Dangerous

pairing: dbf!frank castle x reader

warnings: not really any! this is kind of a backstory intro. death, funeral, smoking, drinking, drugs, and the sheer thought of jon bernthal.

summary: after your fathers death, you find yourself familiarising yourself with his best friend. his hot, dilfy, big thighed best friend.

multiple parts planned! all inspired by lana del rey songs

a/n: me when im back bc i missed writing... anyway this is a somewhat different universe to my og dbf!frank story but also not because it follows the same concept of lana del rey songs.

ALSO even though it is frank castle... im using characters from the bear... sorry i guess i really am only using frank because of the name i just didnt feel right writing jon or michael SORRY

and i am also using sex and the city characters too okay im sorry if nothing makes sense now but ENJOY

playing dangerous by lana

.・。.・゜.☘︎ ݁˖ ・.・𝄞・゜・。.

Pulling up beside the familiar cars parked in front of the church, Frank swiftly gets out of his truck, shutting the car door behind him. His brother Carmen, and cousin Richie, stand by their cars, gathering however once Frank approaches them.

"Thought we weren't gonna see another one of these until it was one of our own and when we're 80." Richie notes, hands on hips as the three of them observe the crowd of black disappearing through the church doors.

Frank scoffs, "Yeah, well, Brock loved stupid games." He marvels at the amount of people who showed up. Brock always made note of how many enemies he had, he must have forgot to mention how many friends he had too.

Brock was Franks best friend. Ever since being enlisted together, they were pretty inseparable. They then went on to work with each other, shady business that subsequently cost Brock his life.

Brock was on the run from police... corrupt police who would do anything for $20 and a donut. Brock had a hit out on him ever since fucking over an old acquaintance by insulting his wife.

As cops chased him down one night, he was cornered. Brock ended up shooting and killing the cop he hated but was subsequently shot and killed by another.

Some good did end up coming about Brock's passing though, as an investigation was launched into the dead officer and the bribe's he took. Which ended up revealing an international bribe ring of some sort that landed Brock's enemy in jail with a hefty sentence.

Frank wished he had been with him that night, wondering if Brock's life could have been spared in any way. But on the flip side, Frank knew that Brock would have died happy killing the officer he hated so much and recalled the many nights Brock had confessed his disdain against the lifestyle he landed himself in.

"At least he's with his wife now." Carm then adds, earning a nod from the others.

As the last of the guests enter the building, Frank decides it's probably time to follow suit.

As painful as it would be to see his best friend no longer living, they all had a few words to say in the session and there was no backing out now.

Though everyone was still finding their seats, when the three men had entered, they had all still managed to give them pitiful looks. Eyes reading 'Sorry for your loss'.

The three of them make their way to the front row of seats, joining the few others that had clearly arrived earlier.

"Hey," Their sister, Natalie, smiles up at them, scooching over on the pew as they take their seats next to her. They offer greeting smiles back. Frank gazes around the church, admiring the many eyes of religious figures that stare back at him. "Hey, did you see his daughter turned up?" Natalie adds in a quiet whisper, making the three of them shoot their heads around in the direction of her gaze.

There, in the front row beside them sat you. Brock's only child and daughter. Everyone kind of just knew of you and your existence, but never actually saw you.

Though Brock always bragged and boasted about you, how beautiful you were, how proud of you he was, the truth was that he rarely saw you. A few years after he had left you, he occasionally made the effort to at least see you on birthdays and Christmas. But his visits slowly died off.

The relationship was still there, you texted and he sent you letters and money, but you lived with your friend and her family for most of your teen years.

Richie nudged Carmen, wiggling his brows, whilst Frank just takes you in. The men can’t help but ogle at you. You were almost like a fable or myth, and seeing you now for the first time ever was strange.

"Poor kid." Natalie purses her lips, brows furrowed in concern.

Frank knew he had to speak to you. Maybe it was the fact that you were his life long best friend’s daughter. Or maybe it was the funny feeling in his stomach as his eyes scanned your figure.

-

You watch as people leave in their expensive cars down the gravel road, sighing in relief at the lack of attention you were now getting.

Your father was laid to rest in the cemetery beside the church, in a space next to your mother.

Though few people still linger around their cars parked on the other side of the church, you keep your head down and make your way back up the church steps, pushing your way through the big, wooden doors.

You were glad no one else was here. Your social battery was drained for the month after today and you didn’t think you could take another ‘I’m so sorry for your loss’, ‘Your dad was a great man’, ‘I’m sure he’s happy to be reunited with your mother’, 'I didn't know he had a daughter'.

You made your way to a random row and knelt on both knees, clasping your hands in front of you and bowing your head.

You weren't entirely religious, nor did you really know what you were praying for. All you knew was that if someone saw you, they would at least respect the gesture and leave you alone.

Wrong.

You hear the church doors open behind you and you close your eyes, quietly sighing. Whoever it is, they do not speak, but you can feel their eyes burning a hole through your back.

Out of curiosity, you lift up your head and turn to the back of the church.

Oh?

"Hi," The man greets sheepishly, "I'm sorry if I’m interrupting.” A small, reassuring smile on his face. You stay silent but shake your head softly, allowing him to continue. He takes a few steps closer, "I'm Frank."

You blink up at him a few times until you connect the dots on who this Frank person really was (and stop ogling at his god-like face) "Oh." You let out accidentally, before clearing your throat and correcting yourself, "Yeah, I’m familiar with the name." You choke out, standing from your kneeling position out of respect... though you wouldn't entirely mind staying down there- God, you mentally slap yourself and remind yourself that you're in a church. And on top of that, you knew of Frank to be your dad’s friend... his best friend. You never saw him or heard anything else about him other than him being your dad’s best friend, but it was nice to finally put a pretty face to the name, “I’m Y/N.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you.” He smiles warmly now, extending a hand out for you to shake which you do so quite timidly, "Listen, if you need anything… I know you've probably heard that a lot today, but I'm probably the only one who really means it." He jokes and you can't help but let out a small smile.

“Thank you.” You nod. He was right though. Out of all of them, Franks did seem the most genuine. "Thanks for taking the time to check up on me."

He nods in response before reaching into his back pocket, pulling out a wallet and from that wallet, a small card, "Here, take my number." You take the small business card from him, "If you really ever need anything, reach out… If I had knew your dad would pass so soon, I’m sure I would’ve promised him to look out for you.”

You weren’t annoyed by Frank’s social interaction, unlike everybody else who talked to you today. Everyone else just seemed so full of shit. And Frank at least knew who you were.

-

You watch as another car passes by before sighing. The heat was starting to get to you a little and as the sun began to set, it landed opposite you, blinding your eyes.

After the funeral, you made the decision to walk to the closest bus stop and make your way back home that way. Though you caught an Uber to the church, you couldn’t bare any more questions or painfully awkward small talk about your day. So you opted for the bus.

The area was nice in any case, a small neighbourhood 20 minutes from Manhattan where you used to live as a child.

It was nice to experience the silence as well. You were so used to the loud of the city that you’d almost forgotten what it was like to just sit with nothing but the birds, the bugs and the leaves. And to actually see the sun without being blocked by some high rise building.

As you zoned out, staring at the ground, you hear the bus finally arrive. Only, you thought it was the bus. You look up and you’re met with a black pick up truck coming to a stop right in front of you and now your heart races.

The window rolls down and a familiar face slightly judges you, "You seriously taking the bus?"

You stand from your seat, small kitten heels clanking against the concrete as you step closer to Franks truck.

You're kind of loss for words. You had made sure to linger in the church for a while and only left when you believed everyone else to have already left. Frank must have stalled in the cemetery or something?

“I..." You start, "I thought it would be relaxing.” You explain vaguely, shrugging your shoulders. Frank quirks a brow and you sigh in defeat, “I didn’t feel like talking to nosy Uber drivers.”

Frank cracks a smile, shaking his head and reaches over to the passenger door, unlocking it for you, "Get in."

You're unsure what it is that makes you give in to getting into his car. Perhaps that Frank was probably the closest thing to your father that you were ever going to get in your life and you automatically felt safe with him. Whatever it was, it felt right.

Jumping into his car, you get comfortable, admiring the interior of it. You couldn’t help but notice, however, the faint smell of either cigar or weed lingering in the car, mixed with the efforts of the Black Ice air freshener dangling from his rear view.

Not only this, but you see his packet of cigarettes in his cup holder.

You’d been dying for a cigarette ever since the funeral started, but couldn’t bring yourself to whip one out as you walked to the bus stop- more concerned about your heels and feet surviving the journey rather than your urge for nicotine. And you refrained from doing so at the bus stop in case it pulled up any second.

“May I?” You ask after rummaging through your purse and holding up the small box of sticks.

“Go ahead.” Frank shrugs with a soft smile, “Where do you live?”

You blow out your plume of smoke out the previously opened window, offering it to him, “West 84th.”

“Upper West side.” He notes with an impressed nod, taking your cigarette from you gratefully.

You raise your brows a little, you could not believe it either that you lived there now, "Inheritance came in handy."

The drive to the city with Frank was nice. It wasn’t awkward and you were able to keep a steady conversation. You could definitely see why Frank was a life long friend.

"Which one is it?" Frank asks, cutting your thoughts short as he pulls into your street.

"This white one here." You point and Frank's lucky that there's a vacant spot out front. He seems impressed by your house as he leans over his wheel to get a look at it while he parks.

To be truthfully honest, you were a little bummed once you had come to a stop.

"Do you wanna come in?" You don't even realise what you're asking until it's already out and Frank's looking at you dumbly. Fuck. “I-I just got so much of his stuff, m-maybe you can help me figure out what to do with it?” You try to cover up.

You internally cringe however as you wait for his answer. Why the hell did you just invite this man into your home without hesitation?

You really didn't expect the words to come out of your mouth. But what was even more surprising was Frank's answer, "Sure."

You take Frank up the small stairs to your house, unlocking the door, “Sorry, it’s a bit messy.” You apologise as he walks in after you. You watch as he takes in your apartment and feel a little insecure for some reason. God, what did it matter what this man thought of your brand new apartment?

“No, it's nice.” He nods and you feel yourself relax. He makes his way into your living room and stares at the piles of boxes and plastic covered furniture. The last of your furniture had arrived yesterday and you had no time, or energy (or frankly manpower for that matter) to sort it out.

"It's a work in progress." You sigh, "I always imagined this to be something my dad would have helped me with." You admit and again, cringe at yourself for being so depressing.

"I can always lend a hand?" Frank offers.

You open and close your mouth like a fish. You didn't mean for Frank to get to that conclusion but at the same time, Frank seemed like he was already going to offer. But you were too humble to say yes, even if you were too cheap to get movers (even though you now had money, old habits never die) and you were convinced you could do it on your own.

But now that Franks offering, you’d be stupid to decline.

The one thing that needed to be put together was your bed, but aside from that your furniture was old, vintage pieces. They were also light so it’s not like it would be entirely arduous labour for Frank, but it would just mean a lot less chain smoking and broken nails for you.

You ended up ordering pizza for the both of you and fuelled Frank with beer as he got to work on setting up your furniture. You helped him out with the light work, but you mostly just smoked and chatted away.

Frank had no issue with it though.

Frank told you many stories about your dad. You realised Franks memories with him definitely outnumbered your own, which was humbling to say the least.

You found the both of you now seated on the hardwood floor of your home, taking a break as you take the time to really talk and eat.

"Can I ask..." Frank starts carefully, and you're mindless to what he's about to ask, "Did you resent your dad?" His question makes you put down your drink, " It's just- you seem to be taking his passing quite well and you were actually at the funeral... Most people I know in a situation like yours wouldn't do such a thing."

You dart your eyes around the room, running the question through your head. You, too, had realised that your own fathers passing hadn't made you a hysterical wreck, like it would have made most people. You also questioned why.

When you got the news that your dad died, you cried but only sparingly and never again after that day. But you went to class the next day, drinks with the girls the next. What the hell was wrong with you?

"I know the shady shit he did killed my Mom." You tell Frank, "I did actually resent him for a while for leaving, then I accused him of killing her and didn't talk to him for a few years." You admit shamefully, "But as I got older, I understood him leaving was keeping me safe and I couldn't argue with that... As for the day he died..." You begin, but take a second to find the words, "I don't know... I guess... it's like he's not really gone." You say, but watch as Frank tilts his head a little in confusion, "Well, he is gone... but it's felt like that for a long time now... Maybe I'm used to it." You feel as though you've just solved the mystery. You feel hot all of a sudden, looking up at Frank and seeing his eyes staring right back at yours. You clear your throat, "Um- What about you? H-How did you handle it?"

"Oh, man." He starts, shaking his head, "It was one of the worst days of my life... I was a wreck." He admits. This might be unfair to say, but you didn't expect a man like Frank to be so open about his emotions, "But your father was all about seeing the good and I just thought, he would kick my ass if he saw me like this instead of celebrating the life we had together and the man he was."

It was silent after that, but you must note that it was a comfortable silence. You let each other sit with the feelings from the conversation had and it felt nice.

Frank is the first to break the silence, by nudging your foot with his, “But what's up with you, girl? Are you in college?”

You smile at him and his effort to lighten the mood a little, “I graduated last year in journalism.” You sigh. It wasn’t anything groundbreaking, certainly not for New York. But it was the only thing that really interested you- having spent most of your formative years journaling your each and every thought, experience and emotion. Writing just came natural to you, “What about you? Are you married?”

Fuck, was that too forward?

“I am not married, no.” Frank answers anyway, with a laugh even.

You would be lying if you said you didn't search for a ring when he first introduced himself to you. What could you say, he was a gentlemen. And plus, you wanted to ask in case you just so happened to be keeping him from her by having pizza and beer at your house while he helps you build your furniture.

Yep, that's the only reason.

Frank only stayed for about an hour longer after that. It had gotten pretty late anyway and you were both tired from the day you had.

You walked Frank to the door, giving him a new case of beer as a means of thanks. Seriously, with Frank's help, all you really have left to do is unpack your boxes and decorate the house.

“Thanks for all your help, Frank.” You say, unable to even recall how many times you've expressed your thanks today.

“And I mean it when I said to call me if you need anything.” He reminds, pointing at you and you roll your eyes.

If you were dying or in jail, maybe. But you didn't have many plans to bother Frank. You wish you could-

“Where do you live?” You ask, simply out of curiosity... or desire to be in his presence longer.

“Engelwood.”

You widen your eyes, but then furrow your brows, “You drove me all the way here even though you lived like 5 minutes away from the church?” You ask in disbelief. He just laughs as an answer, meanwhile you're rummaging to the side through your foyer drawers and handing him a bunch of crumpled President Jacksons, “Here.”

He laughs down at the money, pushing it back to you, “Sweetheart, I’m not taking your money.”

You look at the money shoved into your chest in defeat. But you know he's not going home without something, “Fine.” You mutter before digging through your purse on the same table.

You pull out your metal cigarette case and hand him a pre-roll that you planned to smoke after the funeral.

Frank looks at it longingly, averting his gaze back and forth before slowly bringing a hand up to take it, “Fan of the Blazy Susan’s I see.” He notes, eyeing the pink paper and you roll your eyes.

“Oh, is it too girly for you?” You mock, leaning against your door, contempt now that you've paid your dues.

He tucks the joint behind his ear in response, “Whoever you're buying from, tell 'em you've found someone new."

You're not surprised Frank grows and sells, but you scoff at his persistent concern about you, "I'm sure my weed isn't laced." You assure him.

He shrugs, "Maybe not, but at least mines free."

He had you there. Weed was an expensive habit and you'd considered stopping for a while now, but could never bring yourself to do it. And now that is free and most definitely safe, you wonder if you'll ever stop.

You bid Frank a final farewell and safe drive as he takes the steps down to his car. You wait and watch as he drives down the road and only retreat back inside once he's around the corner.

You can't help but miss his company now that the house is quiet, but lingers his smell.

And as Frank drives through the quiet streets of the city, he can't help but wonder... as do you as you flop into bed...

'Why do I feel this way?' Shortly accompanied with, 'Would it really be that bad?'

.・。.・゜.☘︎ ݁˖ ・.・𝄞・゜・。.

MANY PARTS TO COME

i hope ive hooked you in, im excited for this series

thanks for reading okey byeeee

[aboringredmop]

k still don't know how im gonna post the videos (YouTube? unlisted?someone please help) but I can't sleep so I thought it'd write down whatever I remember happening!

(edit: here's the full recording! )

Becky and Joe walked on stage wearing sunglasses and red leather jackets and threw 3 of the trio plushies into the crowd. didn't get one unfortunately but it's really cool some people got free plushies :)

they made this robot child called the Inspiration Child, who's clearly meant to be a nod to ai (can learn from our show and generate it's own content!)

they explained how they met (and had some dodgy animated retelling), and how they started with small projects like commercials and music videos, until they came up with designs of the trio (and a mysterious fourth fella)

they made the designs first, then made the set, then the song and finally wrote the script for creativity. red guy was just a red mop head with legs at first ("alien squid thing") but Joe put the red guy head on for shits and giggles once and Becky thought it was hilarious so they kept it in the show

they were really not expecting it to blow up, and when Sundance called because they wanted to show creativity Becky thought it was a scam caller lol

they talked about the kickstarter and the credit card fraud kid. the mailed him saying "hey maybe dont do that" but the kid didnt know how to undo it cuz he just found a website full of credit card information and went ham, so Becky and Joe had to contact kickstarter because people were pulling out of the funding because they thought the project was overfunded (kickstarter was very difficult to contact)

they also made (lighthearted) fun of nsfw fluffybird art ((no padlock 😔) "using OUR characters to act out their SICK FANTASIES" - Becky) and theorists, especially because most if not all of the webseries is just them fucking around.

Inspiration Child also says something along the lines of "wow what a cool show with a great message of how corrupt the media is. I hate the media!"

Becky and Joe had these rules to make the show as vague as possible (no pop culture references, no names, no swearing and way too much detail put into small things)(the duck guy drag queen absolutely obliterates the no swearing rule lol)

they talk about the pilot, how they focused too much on the story because they felt like they had to due to it being on the big screen now, and how it ended up ruining the atmosphere and such of the pilot. they did show the entire thing sped up but my phone sucks ass so I could not get it to focus correctly. I'll see what I can salvage so you people can dissect frames of your blorbo you're Legally Not Allowed To See (which is also the official reason we don't get the pilot)

also pilot concept art showed that Mean Steve is in fact just called Key

they showed a whole post-it wall full of ideas for the tv show. don't know how much I got on footage, but what stood out most to me were 2 episodes called Money and Christmas. Joe mentioned "clock in a wheelchair" specifically

also really fun fact. Becky made the Lesley suit during covid, and pretty much threatened Baker into writing a human character into the show to wear it. concept art also shows Lesley with a mask made out of the same fabric, don't know if this was part of the original suit tho

they showed Warrens old models (?). he was gonna be a wayy more ugly looking silicone pug-worm thing y'all got lucky with the bald fuck

lily and todney were directly based off of some cancelled show about two porcelain doll children with panda parents. do not for the life of me remember what it was called but Becky and Joe were very enthousiastic about it (UPDATE: Candy and Andy!)

international release of the show soon!

Inspiration Child talks about what he's learned and sings a little song, then generates his own dhmis inspired content of a cult meeting in a forest at night. the dhmis Discord server called this "potential new content" but I doubt it

3 cultists walk on stage, face the screen backs to the crowd, drop their cloaks and boom! drag queens!!!

they were not mentioned on the site or during earlier parts of the show at all so they were a complete surprise. I asked Becky about it later during the night and she said she really wanted them there, so she asked and they were excited to! hope this means more official content with them soon I love them

they dance to There's Three Of Us, then Duck lipsings the shredder song which turns into a techno remix while Red and Yellow dance during the background

then Duck and Yellow make out while Red tries to undress to the instrumentals of the Fucked Up Part of Creativity but can't get out of his suit on time before the song ends

the drag queens, Becky and Joe and the Inspiration Child walk around during the meet and greet later and I got signatures from all of them! except inspiration child he didn't have thumbs

the drag queens were so fucking funny. Duck adopted inspiration child and loudly yelled at everyone to "GET AWAY FROM MY FUCKING CHILD" (their duck voice is sooo good). yellow stood in a corner staring at a wall for like 10 minutes and red was constantly awkwardly hovering just outside the frames of pictures (and also could not see shit lmao)

Becky liked my shirt! (the one with the melting trio heads) said she handdrew it

I'll post the signatures and some more stuff tomorrow because it is. 5 am

edit Heres the signatures! yellow guys is Italian I think? and means hi I love you :)

(the liyskaen is duck trying to spell my name. they got pretty close)

[rileyclaw]

Hii! First off i just want to I'm such a big fan of your art and animatics! Your art is just so expressive and unique its addicting to look at 💞💞

I was wondering if you could go over how your process or tutorial in making an animatic? Whenever I try to start to make one, I get jumbled up and end up ditching it lol

I'm sorry if you get this question a lot 😭

So sorry it took me so long to answer this- I was in a Busy time (diseaseridden with covid and being punched by finals) when I got the ask and wanted to answer it with some stuff Im using for my next TOH animatic!!

I'll say one thing first: I get jumbled up and ditch so many animatics. For every one animatic I release, there are three to five more I have that have NEVER seen the light of day (yet). And that's okay!! It's fun just to make them for me, and I hope it is for you too!! Animatics are scary because if you're working on it alone, it can be really hard to be your own cheerleader to keep up the mojo to keep going. So that makes it really special when there is that project that makes it to the finish line- cuz you can look at it and go "holy crap I made this. holy crap i MADE that look how SICK that is dude!! all that work and look at the turnout!!"

The following stuffh is just my personal process and is by no means representative of a professional animation pipeline, but this works for me as a Lonely Artist! It all begins with the idea - whether it's a song, or just a story you wanna tell. In the case of the one I'm gonna demo here with , I wanted to animate Hunter's first day as Del's apprentice!

The first thing I did was write a script. Not fancy or AO3-quality, but enough that I understand the pacing and the visuals of each shot. I usually just put this in a doc or put it in a script format, if I feel fancy.

Then, I take that script and find music that I think would fit for it- and remix it (if needed) to fit the pacing/mood/etc! This is what this new animatic looked like before I began ANY artwork- this is a me thing because I'm super inspired by audio as opposed to visuals first. But you might be different- this is just how I like working personally!

Then begins the research! I find references for characters, background layouts, and create a style guide for the animatic that tells me how thick lines will be for characters, backgrounds, if there'll be tons of value or no. I make a turnaround for each character so I can refer to them because Im gonna be drawing them over and over a LOT and want to be consistent! Luckily TOH has no shortage of references, so I based my work off them.

THEN, I can begin drawing. I'm a little,,, (a lot) ADHD and may not always do this process, but if you're new to animatics or daunted by the task at hand, make beat boards of the entire project.

This is just a page of rough thumbnails that get your visual idea down - look how rough and quick these are!! I try not to spend over a minute on each beat board if I dont have to, unless it's a particularly complex shot.

When it gets to the stage where you're ready to begin the actual scenes, I personally tend to do backgrounds first because I like to set characters into backgrounds - and for every animatic, I have the Awkward Blue Sketch Stage which is basically my beat boards timed out as an animatic.

I used Storyboard Pro for this (Toonboom, not free ): icky), but the process can be replicated across most art platforms in whichever way you feel most comfy with! This is so I can time the drawings before I devote time cleaning them up-- which can make for some Pretty Funny looking little guys but theyre important!! trust!!

Once a big sequence of shots is cleaned up (I usually do 40-60 second chunks at a time), I export the .mov and send it to my editing program (which in this case is still Premiere Pro) - and then repeat this process again and again until.. it's done??

Here's like a TL;DR list of basically everything I said summed up:

• Make a loose script or bulletin of the idea! Do your research!

• Depending on what kind of animatic you're making, time it to music!

• Make a beat board of very loose gestures for your shots, and time them - then move on to refinement & cleanup!

• Combine all shots, refine music cues and timings, add any last needed VFX, and export!

There's no secret recipe or anything, it's just learning a pipeline that best suits you, whether it is for something professional or something you want to make for fun because you just love to make!!

[ewyband]

EWY BIG Q&A

hi!! recently i did a q&a on instagram about SLAD. unfortunately (or fortunately?) there were too many questions to answer purely on instagram stories without spamming. here's the ones i couldn't answer on instagram, answered here!

MERLOT, both in terms of my favourite composition and performance

my partner and i were on a break whilst they were studying abroad ("we're only on month 1 of 4"). I just kinda word vomited my feelings. I was feeling pretty depressed at the time I wont lie.

yes i DID!!! this EP was MADE for fun. i wrote the songs specifically to make fun songs to play live. (aside from HOLLOW DRUG)

"And I could be displaced from my home And it could be seen on all your phones Is it real? Or is it fake? Look close, do my arms look like legs?"

probs the most lyrically dense I've been?? i'm not sure.

first of all, thank you so much!! second, some songs i write it all in one day but others can take a week or so before i'm fully happy with how its sounding. that being said, i always end up changing something before recording (usually around a month after writing, but in the case of MERLOT, that was recorded only a week after writing).

if i had to just name one, it'd be Nirvana. I wrote a 3000 word essay on In Utero for uni and that genuinely inspired me to make these songs. I really loved how Nirvana performed and I thought 'man, if only I had songs like that where I'd have an excuse to go crazy' other influences would include Jeff Rosenstock (my #1 fav artist) and PUP (greatest live show I've ever been to) btw, thank u sm!!

yes,,, very much

unfortunately i havent learnt proper scream technique so all of my screams were done at the very very end of my recording sessions. i think it worked out because that meant i had a lot of pent up frustration

i will start by saying my uni lets me hire out all of these microphones for free (if you don't count the student loan) vocals: SM7b & RE20 (only on sociopathic leech) guitar: AKG C414 matched pair (acoustic and electric) bass: my takes were originally done with an RE20, pretty sure fern just DI'd drums: Audix DP7 + SM57 (for hi-hat) + C414 for room mic's

i'll try get this done tomorrow!

i was in a guitar lesson at uni and we were talking about chromatics in the blues scale. my guitar teacher suggested i try to make a riff using the blues scale and particularly the chromatic part. that riff ended up being the middle 8 section of RIGHTS TO MY WRONGS. the rest of the song basically acted as a vessel to transport this breakdown middle 8 section. hopefully it doesn't come across that way !!!!!! but that was the main idea.

it felt very natural. i'll probably continue to go this direction in my future releases.

its mainly a reference to SOCIOPATHIC LEECH! 'i could beat you with a bat'. i just wanted something that felt visceral and angry and i feel like izzie really captured that.

yes and no! brett romnes is a super nice guy and very fun to work with. i obviously had my own mixes so he could see what i preferred and essentially made it better. i think there ended up being 4 drafts before we reached a final master.

these were my original mixing notes! i think the only thing that really got lost in translation was i added some really subtle vocal distortion at the end of HOLLOW DRUG in my original mix. in the end, i feel empowered by brett because he made it sound like what i felt it should sound like in my head (DOES THIS SENTENCE MAKE SENSE!?)

after i wrote SOCIOPATHIC LEECH and RIGHTS TO MY WRONGS, i was like 'okay, this is the style we're going for, lets do some sort of project in this particular style' i was pretty dead set on an EP since i'd just done an album. so to answer your question, yes and no!

i wish i could put something significant here. im sure theres some psychologist out there who could tell me that the song represents something about me. i was feeling alienated at the time, hopefully this helps? "confess your sins to the crowd, no-one can hear you when you're talking so loud" is definitely about my frustrations with song meanings though

hi mikey!

this person was the GM for a cyberpunk TTRPG game i played in. i wanted to write a cyberpunk themed album at one point but i guess that one merlot line is the closest we'll get.

i have semi answered this question but I WANTED TO WRITE SONGS THAT WERE FUN TO PLAY LIVE !!!!! and i think it worked out in the end

THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO WROTE IN !!! MY ASKBOX IS ALWAYS OPEN!!!

[activatebutterflyshield]

Songs that make me really really really want to learn animation so I can make epic sequences with them as the soundtrack

- Notos by the Oh Hellos, itd make a great phoenix-rising, defeated-character-realizing-their-power-and-absolutely-destroying-someone-who-did-them-real-trauma thing. Also the metaphors and imagery. “Every inhale I take, swallow the ocean whole and I am one / With the hurricane, tall as the tide that laps with a rabid tongue”??? “With every exhale I break you down with a fury, I lay the hills undone / Like a dog gone untamed, bellowing out a river from my lungs”??????

- Boreas by the Oh Hellos, the perfect sort of ‘Im completely defeated but by god I’m still going to do something to help’

- Okay I should just include all of the Four Winds EPs in here. Get over here, Eurus and Zephyrus. Passerine and Rio Grande specifically.

- The Horror and the Wild by the Amazing Devil, see this one fandom post I made that was basically a desperate attempt to visualize an animatic I could never make

- Chords by the Amazing Devil, entirely different vibes but bloody hell it lights a fire in my heart every time I hear it. Just. “We were the winter nights / So you could be the morning snow / Your life begins by leaving / And our love is shown / In the letting go”????????

- Rockslide by the Crane Wives. Im writing a whole thing about that album, Coyote Stories’, relationship with climate change and the generally horrible state of the world and this song is the reason. “Oh I pray today my soul to keep / But we best get a move on or the devil we will meet”?? I mean. Mates. It hits hard.

- Sleeping Giants by the Crane Wives. Same album as Rockslide and just as strong if not more so. It would make for a great call-to-war or prelude-to-a-big-ol-battle.

- Rule #3 Paperwork by Fish in a Birdcage. By goodness is Paperwork underrated (though methinks Rule #2 Moonlight is even more underrated but thats just a good song) and I love it to death. Just a great song for an easygoing time. Or, alternatively, a great song for a subtle call to action.

- Rule #33 Pyre by Fish in a Birdcage. Its just great. A final, fond farewell from a beloved parent or mentor or loved one or other dear person telling you that you’ll be fine after they’re gone. Also the accordion is really neat in this one. “Trust yourself and live it your way”. It just is great.

- WOLVES OF THE REVOLUTION. ARCADIAN WILD. This gave so much inspiration for writing a revolution and the people involved in it. Its perfect for that arc. It doesnt bloody matter if said revolution is in a war tragedy of a fanfic.

Theres more but I dont have much to say about them, so just know that Horse Soldier, Horse Soldier (Corb Lund), Solar Waltz (Cosmo Sheldrake), Mvmt II Begin and Never Cease (The Oh Hellos (really bloody Christian but its so good just music wise)(Also Christmas as hell)), The Day Goes On (Bill Wurtz), and my very dear Discord’s Smallest Violin (The AJR Discord) are also very dear to my heart and would probably become something if I had enough commitment and free time and all those other extremely volatile factors to actually learn how to animate. I will, someday. But that day is not today.

Also I swear to you @writer-of-random-things I am writing the climate-change-Coyote-Stories thing. It exists. Or, about half of it exists. I got to The Hand That Feeds and its. Uh. A lot.

[veryinnovative]

4, 6, 13, 15 [pandemonium or tarte tatin?] :)

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

for tt it's that line with remus and regulus that comes up to me first. like this fic is almost 300k words in total but this is the line i think of first: “Have I not given enough?” Regulus continues. “Is my life so invaluable that it can’t pay the price of his love? Even a second of it?”

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

im usually someone who goes for the visceral shit. the heavy angst or the sci fi and fantasy and everything outside of our reality. but tt is pretty tame compared to what i write even when it represent a big part of my life: my love for cooking and an understanding that even good intentions cause tragedies.

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

one of the first songs that inspired me a little was daylight by David kushner. 'you and i drink the poison from the same vine' just hits so hard because it's literal and metaphorical. regulus drinks literal poison, all the while other characters have a poison of their own.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

honestly? so much. like actually so much. the longest original projects iv written were all around the 100-130k max and not fanfic at all so this was NEW waters. anyways top 3:

keep track of ur chapters and what happens in them. seriously. even if it's just bullet points. iv realized how fucking important storyboarding is. ESPECIALLY storyboarding future chapters. i rawdogged too fucking much in this fic and made writing it much harder than it was supposed to be

to go with the flow if you want but not be swept by the current. that happened too many times and the writers blocks were the price i paid. need to be ok with killing ur darlings sometimes! but also!! plotting ahead and knowing what u will be faced with eventually is important bc then it prevents those 'fuck i wish i had done xx instead' bc now ur at a point that doesn't make much sense and needs a lot of writing around to resolve it

don't go on twitter as a writer. not worth it. dont curiously look up the title (in my case this isn't a problem bc i just get pics of apple pie) some of these takes really have me froth bc like,, idk what u read brother but it was most definitely not one of my fics if that's your take

[vacate-et-scire]

hi!! for the match-up event :))

im a girl who's a BIG hopeless romantic! my favorite movie is literally the notebook (everyone is so TIRED of hearing me cry over it...) , im someone who cries easily!! im pretty emotional, im good with kids, im really understanding and forgiving, so if one of them were to like cancel a date for practice or a game, id completely understand!! im also a really loud person in general and when it comes to loving someone, so id be at every game to support!! i think over-all, i have really strong emotions (which can be good or bad, depending on the emotion)

i like to watch animes, write stories, listen to music, travel around the world, or go shopping in my free time! i also do fencing, MUN, and i tutor my friends in academics! i really like helping people around me :)) i think there was a time i cried at home because while walking from school there were these poor kids asking for money but i had left my wallet at home.. so i cried into my pillow that day.. but the next time i saw them, i gave them some money!!

i do embarrassing things a lot (or atleast that's what my friends tell me), so i want someone who'd be okay with my embarrassing moments (maybe even embarrassing themselves with me!!) im a great leader when it comes to groups, so i just want someone that i can lead (not in the weirdo way..) through life!! i just really want a love that sounds like "nothing" or "she chose me" by bruno major, or maybe even some "mary's song (oh my my my)" by taylor swift!! maybe someone who can match my freak (not in the weird way.. like in the way where i AM weird) but can also calm me down!! i have very strong emotions alot, and i need help sometimes to calm down.. im also really talkative so someone who can handle me is just what i need, honestly. (sorry if there are grammatical errors, im not from america so english isnt really my first language..)

Your Blue Lock Matchup: Kunigami Rensuke

Kunigami’s dependable and warm-hearted nature perfectly complements your emotional and enthusiastic personality. As someone who values kindness, hard work, and dedication, Kunigami would deeply appreciate your understanding, forgiving heart, and your unwavering support for his career and passions. He’s a gentle giant with a strong moral compass, which aligns beautifully with your caring and empathetic nature. He would never take your love and support for granted, and he’d go above and beyond to ensure you feel just as cherished in return.

Kunigami would adore how expressive and emotional you are, seeing it as one of the many things that make you special. The Notebook, yeah he cried too, his elder sister made him sit down and watch it with her, and he bawled his eyes out, same thing with The Titanic, Kunigami is a sucker for sad romance movies, or any sad movie for the matter.

Kunigami’s calmer personality would balance your talkative and energetic nature. He’d enjoy listening to your stories, laughing at your antics, and even joining in when you’re being “embarrassing” (though his attempts might be awkward). His loyalty and patience would make him the perfect partner for your moments of over-the-top excitement, and he might not match your freak but he's not judging you either.

As someone who takes his goals seriously, Kunigami would understand and respect your leadership abilities and ambition. He’d love having someone as passionate and capable as you to guide and inspire him. At the same time, he’d step up when you need someone to lean on, reminding you that you don’t have to shoulder everything alone.

He’d admire how deeply you care for the world around you, and he’d do whatever he could to support your efforts to make a difference.

[t00nyah]

I wish to know more about splatoon, tell me about ur ocs and how they fit into the lore!

TONYAH OCS TIME

let's start with my sonas

why do i have two? well... first one, tuna, was made literally just when i jumped into splatoon fr(before that i just liked comics about squid sisters i saw on my tl haha). they reflect me a lot more: a depressed mentally unstable bitch with nothing to do but hang out with friends. in the version of splatoon universe where they exist, they and their bestie formed their own 'squidbeak splatoon' parody (neo new squidbeak splatoon as we call it) and ended up doing basically what agents do in splatoon - war crimes /hj (im not willing to describe the entirety of splatoon story for this post im sorry). they're basically an agent 3 replacement, i think i lean into being a leader in my friend groups a lot too. they also write music, just like me!

second one, neon, is a little different. it's like they just take aspects of me from a different kinds of episodes. they are meant to be new agent 3's replacement(so they're canonically just splatoon 3's protagonist) BUT they don't have a smallfry buddy, because their buddy is my favourite salmonid - flipper flopper. they reflect the nicer part of me, they're also selectively mute because at the time i struggled a lot more with speaking and it was way easier for me to say something with gestures than to actually open my mouth without having words stuck in my throat haha. they are also an inktoling, a genetical fusion of an inkling and an octoling because i think both fit me well!! and tbh i would assign my mom octoling and my dad inkling they have such hardcore coding it's insane.

oshizushi and iwashi were probably my first actually thought out splatoon ocs.

in splatoon world creativity is a very(an i mean very) big thing, self-expression too. and oshizushi is another music person. while iwashi is a chaotic designer with her own brand going. oshi is also from the domes, it's just. a fact.

kaigara and hitodeko! so, in my splatoon ocs' geography there's a new town - Kelpton. it's a beach city with very unstable weather, and because of this they have turf war stages adapted for any weather. because idk if you know that but inklings and octolings dissolve in water, they fucking DIE in water. those two are Kelpton's idols! and of course they also have to do weather forecast since it's such a big thing for Kelpton. kaigara comes from a poor family from this town and worked hard to get money, and hitodeko is a daughter of an octarian elite soldier, she enjoys life to its fullest after leaving the domes.

then there's team family!

they're a bunch of dumb teenagers who play turf war in team. they're meant to be more coroika(splatoon manga) inspired . purble and vintage are like toxic older siblings to bucket and stripes who are innocent babies of their team. (none of them are actually related AND in their family dynamic purble is mom-assigned to all of them lmao). also bubbles the salmonid daughter of stripes! she yoinked a golden egg from vintage(he steals from grizzco, this boy is trouble) and raised salmonid as her daughter with help of ... oshizushi! and a bit of iwashi's help there.

music is big in splatoon. all of splatoon music has lore, we have so-called splatbands - every track has an in-game band behind it. and so i had to make my own splatband.

the celestigals!! an all-girls-with-the-small-exception-of-gui band!! they write songs about how shit love is!!!! that's my genre KJSFDBHFKLJKFDJSN

sepia is a cuttlefish, elysia is a sea slug (you've seen this one before.), shinobu is a sea anemone, gui is an incognito gobi and ori is a tiger crab i think. sepia is like their leader and a vocalist, she's the most unbearable person ever but they vibe with her.

sepia also lives wth namihiko, her ex boyfriend who's...an octoling who thinks he's an inkling. he doesn't have anything going in his life except for that little confusion except for the fact that he's very chill and can take sepia's anger issues and wild temper pretty well.

this is reena(she/he/they)! they're an insanely talented inkling who can play a lot of different instruments and they usually work for others. he helped kaigara and hitodeko in fact!

BRANDA. she doesn't have TOO MUCH lore going on, but she was a technician in octarian military, then she ended up in kamabo co and was one of the sanitizing octolings based on a concept from haikara walker(an octo expansion artbook), and then somehow ended up FUZZY OOZED. AND NOW SHE'S A FUZZY OCTOLING. BRO DOESN'T HAVE NO MEMORY BUT PURE VIBES AT THIS POINT. i love branda.

here's also DJ duali38 or duali! she exists purely in one au where on winter holidays sanitized octolings just suddenly can't obey tartar and CHILL and CELEBRATE. she became a DJ after ahato/acht left and she's just a small goober..

another oc who's kinda from au is arctic (octoling on the right)! she's neo agent 3's girlfriend who studies linguistics and has a dictionary with a lot of attempts to decipher human language(s). in this version of splatoon 3 they both are agents and work together and all. i can't not point out how there was a fun period where i did an experimental ask thing for another au of mine and someone mentioned arctic and i blew up i actually don't think i'll ever recover from how cool that was

polpopic never had too much lore but she's a pro salmonrunner who's also almost just as tall as her main weapon sloshing machine and the fact that she's that efficient with it despite her size is terrifying to everyone around

also kurakka exists. i never gave them lore but they're a sanitized octoling who looks like they could be a manager who doesn't give a fuck. i wish there was a way to write their lore that way. (they just don't fit splatoon lore. but i mean.)

if you've read the entire thing thank you so much for this question thunder it was nice :) a lot of my ocs are underdeveloped im pretty sure it's very ovious but i love them all

[mikavenz]

NOBODY ASKED but im gonna vomit all my thoughts about my OC nyo!philippines okay LETS GOOOOO

Okay to start things off let me just say that I will draw her (after my NA bros doodle) but my first headcanon is that she has long hair that she rebonds (like straightens?? idk if thats the correct term) her hair every now and then because she's naturally wavy. Not sure which bangs I like for yet but its probably gonna be side bangs for miss girl. I like imagining her hair to be a bit darker, nearing black, with brown skin, and shes also short.

Forgot to say that my OC's name is Maria Clara (MC) de la Cruz because that was the name I gave her when I was 9 years old and I'm sticking with it. I know that in 2016 that was everyone's name for her but idc its cute.

You already know that she's a good singer (boss asks that she performs during events sometimes while people eat) but what if I also HC that Maria's a great writer as well. Inspired by the works of Dr Jose Rizal, she tried to get her story told to the world in the late 1800s but was shunned because 1) she's a woman 2) she's a minority 3) she was colonized by Spain. She got into major trouble with Spain for attempting to publish her works. In her freetime, she writes poems and songs

She plays the ukelele and acoustic guitar

Okay hear me out but I like writing my lesbians with spice so lets just say that she and nyo!America have the worst on again of again cycle ever

The nyo!amephil post is coming right after this so I'll stick to writing about MC's feelings in this post

Maria HATED Amelia with a passion. She was so pissed when Amelia lied to her face and promised to save her. Amelia and Maria met when they were kids, when their mommas brought them both to a diplomatic meeting (Spain and England? Didn't end well) and they bonded over the will to be free. Amelia promised to free Maria someday.

Eventually American Revolution bla bla bla, and then Amelia made a big show of having to free the Philippines from the Spanish rule, including staging a big fake battle and everything (Battle of Manila 1898) and Maria thought that someone who she considered to be a good friend kept her promise

Also btw when MC was still colonized by Spain, she wrote letters to Amelia, some of conversation but mostly her writings and drabble and stuff

And man MC was pissed when she found out that Amelia was going to colonized her. Betrayed and hurt, she could barely believe when Amelia tried to calm her down saying it was temporary. Maria didn't care. She was LIED TO.

Even when Japan invaded and Amelia had to retreat that promise that she would return to help, Maria was still hurt and betrayed that she barely believed it

Sakura (pretty sure thats her name) was a lot more cruel to the Philippines than Spain and Amelia ever were. So strict to the point that Maria got banned from singing just because it was her outlet for her emotions.

She was so tortured and hurt in those years that she couldn't help but dream of Amelia coming to save her, but that was ridiculous. Amelia was a liar wasn't she?

Apparently not because not even a decade under Japanese rule, the Philippines was assisted in revolting and getting freed from Japan by America once again

Admittedly, Maria was happy but a part of her loathes the fact that she couldn't do it by herself. She wanted to be capable of her own independence.

Amelia saw this and although it meant they were no longer going to be united, she told Maria that she could be let go

A part of this made Maria feel upset because she couldn't fight and earn her freedom but she's also glad that the fighting was over if that makes sense?? Centuries without independence is tough so being handed it for free seemed like a dream

Well, Amelia did ask if Maria wanted to still be a colony of hers (so they could stay together forever) but Maria declined because she wanted to be free herself

Anyways boring history dynamics over, I think that Maria is someone who wants to prove herself with her talent and capabilities but is also constantly looked down upon by others

She's social, kind (see: that one time Filipinos welcomed Vietnamese refugees) and stunning but always feels like she has to prove herself

She cares about her public appearance a lot because being liked by the ASEAN, her cousins in LatAm, and by other nations because of her voice means a lot to her because centuries of being a colony made her feel worthless

ill probably reblog this with my design for her but yeah thats about it seeya

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

Thank you for creating this account, you are so brave.

Prefacing: I used to tolerate TS and her music when I was a teen and couldn't really avoid it. Now I'm 25 and I find her abhorrent as a human being.

(I'm not American and where I am from TS was never a Big Hit, unless we're talking 14 year old girls that eventually grow out of liking her. It's not entirely for a good reason, my country's a bit too conservative-brainwashed to like a self-proclained "girl boss" on a gov. level.)

Something that I noticed about that cult-like worship of that frankly boring woman is that most of the interesting shit about her is 1. made up 2. not about her music and I DO NOT understand how this is even considered a singer anymore.

Like, for example. A bunch of liberal queers like her because they take her bland music and fill it with their own meanings. Her lyrics are so soulless and boring and generic you can apply them to anything. You don't have to go listen to staples of quuer music like what drag queens, or queer women, or Black gay men create: because their music is visceral, it speaks onto real lived through opression that not everyone can relate to. But not with fucking TS! She writes the most TYPICAL line and a bunch of people assign some secret gay meaning to it. The amount of times I saw TS added to playlists for queer content is ridiculous. Like she wouldn't be half as popular if her music was regarded as what it is: straight white girl soliloquy.

The shit about her love life? Should not be fucking mentioned in regards to her as an artist. She's SO fucking fake. She will complain that people only see her as some girl who dates all those guys but she's the one fucking monetizing her love story. I'd understand if she didnt TRY TO but she fucking does! She knows she's bland and boring and she relies on people liking gossip enough to listen to her crap.

ok quick note when you said “liberal queers” it should be “queer liberals”. im assuming english isnt your first language so your native tongue has different grammatical rules but in this instance you put “queer” in front of “liberal.” i just don’t want you to be accused of being homophobic or anything so this is a quick note for you

you said you were 25 and everyone who’s been following this blog has been 20+ demographic in particular. i think it must be because we’re old enough to remember her entire journey starting w the 2009 kanye west mtv incident up until this moment. her staunchest swifties on here were born after the fearless release 💀

hmmmm i always wonder what people imply by Taylor Swift being a global superstar. like she’s isn’t popular in the entire continent of Africa but that doesn’t count apparently? and as much as she is popular in south asia, so much news is framed with a western perspective and all westerners think whiteness is default, and this includes taylor swift. i wouldnt be surprised if theyre inflating her popularity abroad as they are here in the states. idk

and so true! she’s known for her controversies and dating drama. even her music is known not for its success but ppl questioning the legitimacy of her grammys she’s received for her music.

also your gaylor hate—i understand. im not straight and i think gaylors were lobotomized by taylor swift’s music like genuinely these bitches have bricks for brains. there are soooooooo many better queer musicians especially musicians of color who write songs of their literal shared experience of queer love, identity, etc. but here they go theorizing that taylor seift and karlie kloss secretly dated 😭 it reminds me of this convo i had with my friend about gay people admiring/looking up to straight and cis people and labelling them as “gay icons.” its so stupid and reductive and continues to marginalize actual queer artists.

also talking abt taylor swift playlists i will never forget when i found spotify’s bad bunny x taylor swift playlist inspired by their photo from the 2023 grammys 💀 it was so dumb

“straight white girl soliloquy” PERIOD ANON! i need to start making a list of what you guys say cause its fkn fire

taylor swift embedded her relationships so deeply into her brand and music that its inseparable from herself. she really does define herself by her partners and her fans do too, which is why they expected this to be a joe alwyn album.

she really is so unoriginal and unremarkable and that’s why her thing WORKS. because to swifties she’s like “another everyday girl like you and me :)” 🙄 whatever. yuck!

[cal-writes]

2024 in Review Part 1

from @ficwip im late with an iced matcha latte but let me get caught up

How many fics have you worked on since January?

around 18 i'd say probably more, i did a rough count of my wips on docs and ellipsus haha

2. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?

ive been leaning more into horror and like experimental styles. or formatting which plays with the narrative and stuff. also ive been writing more smut tho that was unintentional.

3. What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.)

... i think we all know that one piece has me by the throat

4. How many fandoms did you write for this year?

three fandoms?`i think. maybe four. and some original stuff

5. What ships captured your heart?

zoro/law but since i got caught up on arcane jinx/sevika also really got to me so i might write some stuff for that, we'll see.

6. What characters captured your heart?

zoros still my muse, its a little insane. but ive also really gotten to enjoy usopps pov this year and again jinx and sevika. wonderful. i support womens wrongs

7. Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?

i did write a little bit of arcane fanfic! nothing big or really anything with a plot, just had an idea for a scene. i also wrote for the sims 2! i think that was this year? idek anymore lol

8. What fic meant the most to you to write?

Dig Site it was a delight to write in robins head and finally finish that one up. i love the world of laws eleven (oceans verse) and robin is such a different POV from law and zoro. and i love her friendship and dynamic with zoro.

also the thus unpublished haunted home au which deals a lot with grief and coming home after being gone for a long time

9. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

the hatchi/zoro smut story ngl. its a blast ;) hoping to finish that up next year we'll see.

10. What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?

Panic Pixie Dream Boy oh my god how do romance writers do it. me doing a rom com??? bruh it was so long too!!! im really happy with it but i am also so so so happy to have it done.

11. What fic was the most difficult to write?

Salt of Midgar has unfortunately become that simply bc im not that hyperfocused on ff7 at the moment. i am still dedicated to finish it and i did work on the next chapter a little this year so hopefully next year i'll get it done. i had a bunch of sequels for that planned lol. rip.

12. What fic was the easiest to write?

was gonna say Best Laid Plans bc as soon as we got the go ahead to write i hacked that down in like an afternoon but i wrote that in 2023 so i dont think that counts neither does kyoto nights i think?? which was also much earlier written. this year has had a lot of long projects which are never "easy" in their entirety

13. What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?

shortest is Kyoto Nights if we arent counting like tumblr asks which are generally shorter.

i was gonna say Panic Pixie Dream Boy wasn't posted completely in 2024 but apparently i did??? christ. so yeah that one then

14. What were your go-to writing songs?

basically my spotify wrapped lol i make playlists for just about every fic i work on more seriously but here are the highlights, most of them are from the immorcation au playlist which 👀 might be coming your way soon

[ashtraythief]

Hey! So ive been a long time reader of ur underneath verse (since like.. 2018? Maybe even 2017?) and i just wanted to drop by and tell u how much im enjoying rereading ur writing! Like in general i think this is one of my fav fics series just bc its so extensive and well done and thought out and fleshed out so well it works so well? Like seeing all the different angles and the way u choose to frame things is really fun for me and kinda inspires my own writing in some aspects.

Ive never read the whole thing all in one go before so ive decided to do that right now and im just about done with the pied pipers song - more specifically willys chapter. And i kinda needed to let u know that ur series really stands out to me just bc of how many glimpses into other characters and all these different povs of the same thing like on it stands out on a technical level but then ur actual writing of these things is so good and compelling and like as an outsider pov bitch it hits the spot for me so well? Like ur writing is never stale and its always interesting.

I specifically wanted to take this time to mention that i really love willy and winstons characters and how u went about it. Like im ngl the way u wrote them kinda makes me want to cry tears of happiness for them bc they have found ppl who appreciate them and they have connections with other ppl but then the bittersweet tang of jensen and willy is kinda fucking me up rn /pos djjdjdjd like in general u really do the bittersweet jensen is stuck undercover angle really well and it HURTS so good

But yes i dont really have a good concise message or comment to leave beyond the fact that i keep stopping every few sentences to get up and jump bc im so excited about what im reading i need to get rid of that excess energy lol so sorry if this is all over the place and a really messy message! I just really wanted to let u know how much im enjoying reading it all rn. Thank you so much for sharing ur writing with us and for continuing to write for this series its so fun!

omg nonnie, I'm kinda speechless here (this is the second wonderful message in two days so I'm kinda overwhelmed. is it send wonderful messages week somewhere??)

I just am so grateful and this message made me so happy. never apologize for maybe not having a five point outline lol, this is amazing.

The underneath verse has always been my fandom baby, so praise for it is already amazing, but the pied piper fic and Winston and Willy epsecially, it just makes my heart so full. Ten years ago, they definitely started out as stock characters of mob drivers, because I didn't think this fic would get so big, but then it did, and Willy especially became a real character. a) because I knew he'd fall in love with Jensen too, as anyone does really and b) because I looooove the bittersweet undercover Jensen shtick where I write from other character's POV and the reader knows how wrong they're getting it but they don't *mu har har* (yeah I'm a little mean sometime. sorry?)

but in all seriousness, the Willy chapter, I'ev been working on that for months. And I kept adding things and rewriting things and trying to get it perfect even though I know that most people who read the story mostly care about Jared and Jensen (which is totally fair and understandable), but I care about him and there are a few people out there who do too (and I love you for it, so much), but with Willy, I just wante to do this /right/. I've come to love him so much, and he's come to be so important to Jensen, it felt like he and Winston really deserve their own story told even though that's kind of ridiculous because they're not real, but they're a little real to me now. All this to say, nonnie, this comment and your appreciation of Willy means so fucking much to me. And my poor alpha reader who read like four drafts of this (seriously, M. is a saint) and my beta readers who then had to beta four iterations of this. To know that this effort is appreciated this much honestly make me cry a little (I am not having the greatest time right now, so I cry easily but the point still stands. Thank you.)

This message was actually such an energy boost I'm currently trying to fix the next timestamp, lol so I'll have something to post next month. You're a true treasure, nonnie <3

[grenadineghost]

HI JUNI!!! gimme 1 and multiples of 11!!

Locals (Girls like us) by underscores ft gabby start

I am in no way surprised this made it to number 1. im fucking obsessed with this song i listened to it multiple times per day for months its so catchy and energetic and passionate and transfeminine and i love it. also btw this is the song playing during the transformation scene at the party in chew toy. GIRLS LIKE US ARE ROTTEN TO THE CORE!! this song makes me want to bite someone. btw fun fact underscores went to my high school

11. Drunk Voicemail by Pom Pom Squad

hey, you're the one who introduced me to this album!! i returned to this album regularly all year, it inspired a lot of writing and emotions. this song is really fucking good for those heavy late night feelings. it's a CRUCIAL chew toy song and a WWNGJAD song and the rest of the album was super influential for cul-de-sacrilege.

22. Edging in Heaven by Juicebumps

this is a SUPER WEIRD song by a small indie band ive actually gotten to see live! juicebumps has weird vibes and an insane website and its just. what a song. idk how to describe it. it's on the apple pie playlist for being a weird horny song about heaven and perfection. for a horny song it is NOT horny in the way you'd expect, it's horny in a weird unpolished sweaty uncomfortable way i love it.

33. LA Hallucinations by Carly Rae Jepsen

there's not much to say about this one other than it being a total fucking jam! emotion is a top tier album and this is one of my fav albums. i play it a lot while playing magic (i have a weird insistence that CRJ music has fairy tale vibes so espc when playing w eldraine decks?) but this song is higher up than the rest bc its a Velerium song and i got super obsessed with burning woods for a couple weeks this year.

44. IN MY MOUTH by Black Dresses

again this is just a fucking banger! i dont have specific memories associated with this song from this year its just good!! its on the chew toy playlist so that helps but like genuinely its just severely fucks. i love harsh noises i love scary synths i love trans women i love biting

55. No More Like That by Eifuawn

i listened to this a lot while writing my story mycorrhizal/the store will be closing shortly! i dont have too much to say abt it, idrk the lyrics well, it just has this vibe to it of weariness and yearning and its really beautiful

66. Lean Into Life by Petey

oh. okay. so i have a history with this song. i first heard it the night i had to say goodbye to my then-friend group, including my now-girlfriends, and this song's powerful yearning melancholic but also a little hopeful? energy made me go crazy insane. the idea of leaning into life at a time when i felt like i was just starting to become my own person with this beautiful life. anyways that friend group exploded horribly but i still have my girlfriends and this song makes me think of them <3

77. Rich Bitch Juice (Laura Les Remix) by Alice Longyu Gao

we're entering the part of the playlist where its really just songs i like. this one is just a jam! it's an amaranth song, so i guess i listened to it in preparation for the couple of dnd sessions i had this year?

88. B.F.F. by Destroy Boys

I had a big destroy boys phase this year, espc closer to the start of the year, when i was writing chew toy and cul-de-sacrilege. i was feeling grungy and angsty and destroy boys was such a vibe. bff isn't my fav song lol by them lol but its still a fucking jam

99. Hollywood Baby by 100 gecs

another amaranth debonair song! it's interesting, i don't remember the start of the year as well, so a bunch of these songs i don't fully remember listening to that much. i guess i played amy more at the start of the year than i realized? i also played her playlist in the car with my dad a lot though lol

tysm for asking i love talking about music so much :3

[moyazaika]

Work just ended and I decided to get back and see what I missed while I was getting used to my work. I’m doing all of this while my dad, who also speaks and understands English perhaps to a lesser degree than me, is next to me. Sometimes you just need some adrenaline to remind you that you’re alive.

Regarding Indulgence. I think I’ve said it before, but honestly the way you write makes me feel defenseless. You make me want to analyze and pick apart what you’ve written just for the sake of both properly appreciating everything and just… understating. I can’t even express what I’m feeling right now. I feel like Gollum, your writing is the ring.

TWO TONGUES??? IM IN. Been a while since I read something that has a monster, more in the physical sense. “—that i’m not some big. bad. monster.” IM- IM HITTING THE TABLE, IM- “and this time, when he finds you (and he will; for there is no way you can outrun your own shadow)” I’m in love with the way you write. I’m speechless, I want to ask a million questions and just,,,, I don’t feel like what I want to say makes sense. BUT IM KAYDJQJSBQBSNBBQBS

Reading the jaded lawyer reader and the yan crime kingpin. Forget the yan, I don’t know whatever I want to be darling or if I want them. Nevermind, I also want the yan. Love the dynamic. There’s something about the banter that just scratches an itch in my brain, I just love all of this. Keep feeding me this good stuff pretty please. As long as you’re free and wish to do so, of course. Remember to rest properly.

Just finished the extra. I’m obsessed and deeply concerned for darling. Fly high darling, I know you’re not making it out alive. 🕊️ Man’s got nothing to lose, he already has nothing but his life and he doesn’t even seem to care.

By the way, I was once spacing out while working and ended thinking about red because why not. I think you once said that both the yans and red had that certain desesperation that seemed appealing to me, so I began to wonder what exactly made them so interesting to me. I ended getting obsessed with a edit that is unrelated to the point, but it’s was a Taylor’s song and there’s this certain part that reminded me of Red.

“And I love you, it's ruining my life

(I love you, it's ruining my life)

I touched you for only a fortnight

(I touched you) but I touched you”

I love the “But I touched you” part. Because, like, I feel it doesn’t really talk about physical touch. It’s something deeper, at least I felt so and in a clip of the video it seems to show so. The first time I ever came to see Red was in the overly amazing anarchy fic. That story was absolutely amazing I still remember crying at night over it. Anyways, it shows a domestic scene and perhaps that’s what made me crave them. I think that at least to a certain degree, yans win. At least from what I’ve seen and remember, they get darling and end murdering Red or doing whatever to get him away. Red doesn’t win. They seem aware of the fact that they won’t win. Why do they keep trying? What’s so important that they repeat the same mistake over and over again? And you could perhaps say that seems kinda obsessive of them. It’s almost pitiful, but there’s something that I love about tragic characters.

Btw, in the fic with Dean (the one that inspired me to draw Red) there was this other character that was all lovely dovely with Red. At least from what I remember. I’m not proud to say that the first time I read that his name was Freddy (can’t remember if that’s how it was spelled, I don’t care. Man stole my spouse 🫵 /jk) my first thought was Freddy Fazbear. Anyways, if said love was mutual, then Red could be taken out of the equation. I mean, they don’t show romantic interest in darling (I think), so that somehow makes me think that they’re somehow safe in that regard. I love to think about the different implications. And, even if it somehow pains me to see my beloved with someone else /jk, I would be glad to think that they’re somehow safe. Meanwhile darling is crawling into the wolf’s den. Way to go babe, hope you make it out in one piece. 🕊️

So I was writing this in my notes app and forgot to send it. It’s been hours since my shift ended but I didn’t want to edit certain stuff. Now, how are you doing? Have you been eating properly? Drinking enough water? Please remember to take care of yourself, I know you’ll achieve great things and your efforts will be rewarded, but do remember to treat yourself kindly.

- ❤️‍🩹 anon, apologies for sending long paragraphs. I know you said that you wanted to empty your ask inbox and I feel guilty.

NONONO do NOTTT ever apologise for sending an ask i love long asks like this the most and i promise i don’t mind!!! and even tho i am clearing out older ones, interactions like this are like the fuel that keep me writing on tumblr so dON’T APOLOGISEE

i hope works been going well nepo baby LOLOL no but truly it can be so daunting when u know ur working later that day so i’m sure you’re doing great and i’m rooting for ya !! :)

DEFENSELESS!?$)!?!??!$2$& i’m losing my marbles that’s the best compliment you could’ve ever given me nonnie T_T thank u so much,, gOllumAND THE RING NOWOSOSII that’s taking me out 😭😭😭 “my precioussss my preciousss” well then you’re the gold and i’m smaug 😜

i love monsters in the more abstract sense like wdym the monster is just. your own shadow. what. i’m working on something rn where the monster in question is childhood nostalgia or childhood fears and i’m veeeery excited for u to read that !!!!! altho two tongues is always a bonus too in a more physical sense 😝😝

i fully agree with you yan kingpin needs to be put down he’s like a mad dog but lawyer darling helloooo handsome!!!! wdym they’re bossy and no nonsense and never lose a case,,, they’re gonna be winning another case when the court decides to give me a restraining order for how much i love them 🙏🏽😭😭😭 i love darlings colder or more nonchalant than the actual yan it’s so fun 🤲🏽🤲🏽 even tho that means the darling is more attractive to me than the yan HAHHH 😭😭

FREDDY FAZBEAR NOSOSODOSO i actually forgot his name too i haven’t touched that trilogy in so long oops but yeah you’re right in saying red holds no (?) romantic attraction towards reader, but i’m still not sure if that makes them safe. i know i keep teasing u with this amazing backstory they have but trust me one day i’ll write it out and post it and i think you’ll realise all the pieces fitting together :’) but for now, i can only say so much cus i want it to be as satisfying as possible for u when u do read it.

yea thank u for asking lovely!! i’ve been tryna drink 1L a day because i want to cut back on consuming mindless junk food, and i heard it keeps you fuller so hopefully it goes well :p i hope you’re also taking care of yourself <3

[sergeifyodorov]

I just reread strange trails and I'd love to know your inspirations for it! Your ideas behind the worldbuilding, the genesis of the plot, all that good stuff if you'd like to share!

the backstory

im a college student and was unemployed all summer. in order to pass the time while waiting for local jobs to reject me i started a crochet project. throughout pretty much the entire month of june. and possibly also may. i would make my squares and listen to the strange trails album. straight through. every day. i may have gone a little bit insane.

but it's okay. i'm already insane.

lord huron (the band who made the album) has like. lore. am i familiar with this lore? no i am not. am i aware nonetheless that there is lore? yes absolutely. if you listen to their discography there's definitely lore -- recurring themes (resurrection, adventuring, magical seductive women, etc), motifs (depends on the album but strange trails is big on flowers, trees, snow, although there is one song that's set in the desert), characters (they keep mentioning a guy called the world ender.) anyHway the point of all of this is that the music is [solid 7.5 out of 10 but it scratches my exact brain itches] and very evocative of the imagery and idea of a deeper world. my favourite off the album (and one of my favourites in the discography) is la belle fleur sauvage, which tells the listener about a long perilous quest for some mythical thing (a flower. also a woman. metaphor), although one of the ones whose imagery i enjoyed the most is frozen pines, which is a little less concrete but invokes images of cold, the side of a mountain, strange happenings, etc.

the idea

those songs are definitely the most direct inspiration for it but unfortunately my process for developing ideas is kind of terrible because it involves less "sitting down and coming up with stuff" and more "wait for a 60% formed idea to smack you upside the head like rapunzel in tangled and her cast-iron frying pan." which quinn and his sad little corpse did.

if you go back far enough in the quinnfic tag on my blog u can see the post right after it Happened. the idea was literally "quinn hughes carries a corpse up a mountain, and horror."

so i take this little piece of grit from which my pearl of questionable moral integrity will be built and i ask it questions. first off: quinn, why are you on that mountain? who is the corpse? is anyone else with you? soon enough petey decided to join him (although quinn is and was always the protagonist/pov character). the body was The Ghost Of Vancouver before it was brock over top of that.

another inspiration, which i realize i'm leaving out, is this

this is artist grayson perry's work "hold your beliefs lightly" from tomb of the unknown craftsman, and this image of a long perilous upward journey towards some sacred place really combined together with la belle fleur sauvage to form the base idea of the world for the work.

and of course why would you carry a corpse up a mountain to some sacred place if you couldn't resurrect it at the end?

quinn

im big on metaphor. if i'm writing something long it has to have a Point to it, some larger theme than romance and stuff (this is mostly because i'm bad at writing romance)(and also big on curses and the like.) and also because quinn hughes asexual barb i never fucked/i never fucked/all my life man, fucks sake. this was also being written right before the peak of Canucks Captaincy Debate, and in our hearts didn't we all know quinn was going to be the one to wear the c?

so it became pretty clear pretty quick that as well as my attempt at writing horror that this was going to be a quinn character study -- and this is where i should talk about my other fic scheherazade.

in scheherazade, auston actually doesn't make a lot of choices -- he tags along, arguing with the narrator/bill, and only starts to take an active role in the way the story is going near the end, when he finally gets sick of it all. quinn, however, is not at all the same kind of person as auston. he's less artistic and more practical; an older brother instead of a younger one; jewish; not nearly so squeamish. he takes an active role in the story from the very beginning, showing up to the base of the mountain with his pack full, both prepared and not for what lies ahead.

the mountain

vancouver is smack in the middle of the north shore mountains, so there's a million hiking trails about, but the one i can most easily think of (as someone who hasn't been to vancouver in several years) is the grouse grind trail, a popular and fairly short trail that the canucks prospects actually do every year, so i knew quinn and petey (both vancouver draftees) would be familiar. i've never actually done the grouse grind, which was part of the reason i decided to kind of. toy with reality. you can't call me out on inaccuracy when it's Not Real On Purpose (although the sign at the 1/4 mark is copied directly from photos i've seen.)

petey and the plot

once i added petey, i knew i'd have to get rid of him -- a lot of the scene ideas were quinn-only, and petey's way too sarcastic and useless (AFFECTIONATE) to engage seriously with the ideas presented to him like quinn would and did. so i needed to divide them up.

the original plot idea from the outline is actually pretty similar up until the end of chapter 6 (the conversation w the ghost), but it differs in a few crucial ways -- one, quinn breaks down again, crying and everything, and two, he actually does go through with the resurrection instead of using his wish to get petey down the mountain safely. i realized around then that this wouldn't work with the quinn i'd created, especially after his argument with the ghost: he's far less focused on glory than stability, less interested in the cup or his contract and more interested in the safe long bet than high rolling. in a cold, wet environment like the mountain it's a lot easier to get hypothermia without noticing than it is in a dry environment, even if the dry environment is several degrees colder than the wet one. and quinn would know that, having seen petey's thin little sweater and knowing his stubborn ass is going to freeze.

so after that it became about hypothermia. i actually had a bit of a writing pause after this because i knew i was going off-outline, so i had to kind of inch ahead until i knew where i was going. but i'm happy with how it turned out!

[maiverie]

hello <3 i finally started reading triage and i laughed too hard reading the first chap :'D i loved the chemistry jokes sm (im still finding a time to read the rest but unfortunately it's almost time for school again) you're actually my fav author here in blr !!! your writing is just so well-written and that might be an understatement bcs it's just so good ??? i think no simple words can explain how amazing of an author you are <3 like the way you deliver the words and how you let readers imagine the little scenarios you make like it's so cool <3

(sorry if this is too long but) i also came here to ask you for advice hehe. im kind of a newbie here in blr and im currently working on my upcoming series.. and im unsatisfied with my progress and found myself deleting my drafts (for abt two times already ??) and i want to know how to be more confident in my writings and how not to overthink too much yk ?? would really love to hear your thoughts on this. you're not only a good author but a good advisor too !!! thank u sm <33

hi lexine (nice to meet u !!), stopppp YOU ARE TOOOO nice thank you sooo much for taking the time out to write this??? 😭💖 firstly, thank you for reading triage and plsss nawt the bitchless chemistry jokes 😭 kidding I also giggled while writing those parts smh

and secondly, ur fav author??? STOP LYINGGG i consider that such a high honour so thank you so much 🥹💞 to have your support is one thing and to read such positive words is another, so again thank you for taking the time out of your day to leave this message because it just made my day :(

aaa please don't apologise because I love long asks the most, and yes ofc my asks are always open! I have a tendency to ramble so beware a long message is below the cut — nevertheless I really hope this helps! 🥹💞

I firstly just want to preface that I obviously do not know everything about writing and this is all truly just one opinion, so only take what resonates 🫶

I can only really speak from personal experience, but I think it's actually a really good thing that you're going back to your drafts, revising your writing, which may or may not include the process of deleting/restarting things. obviously it's a really gruelling experience to go through (bc there's nothing worse than deleting all ur hard work), but I think it's really admirable that you're thinking about your writing and putting in the effort to make it better with each draft !! personally, I am constantly writing and re-writing my drafts and as much as it literally HURTS MY SOUL to delete words/paragraphs/sometimes entire chapters, I genuinely enjoy this process — to me, that's what writing is kind of all about? I know to most people ff is really not that deep (they're not wrong, it doesn't have to be) but I think the fact you're practising deliberation, reflection and thought in your writing, word choice, characters, plot etc. etc. is really really amazing !!

personally, I would say the thing to keep in mind is that everything needs to be in moderation — I've had chapters that have literally taken me a fuckload of re-writes (I'm a big overthinker / slight perfectionist), and while I did initially enjoy the whole process of editing / re-writing / discovering how to change certain scenes etc, it was really really mentally draining and I ended up losing passion for the story in the end. just be careful that this might happen to you? to avoid this, maybe every time you've reached a block (where no matter how much you re-write something, you always seem to hate how it turns out) you should try find a different source of inspiration — whether that means thinking about your story/characters with a different song playing, or moving wherever you tend to write, or having someone brainstorm ideas with you / beta-read your fic, or take a few days off !!

out of curiosity, what don't you like about your first drafts? is it the writing or the pacing or the characters? or is it something you can't quite put a finger on? let me know and we can try think about it together !!! im also the biggest overthinker when it comes to writing (💀) but what kind of comforts me and brings my feet back to the ground is reminding myself that 1) my fics are for MYSELF (i.e. you should be writing things you would want to read yourself, not what others might want to read - bc once you make it all about other people, that's when you really start to overthink) and 2) if im gna be fr, 90% of people on tumblr, especially enhablr, only really care about ff bc they want to read about their bias (if they wanted to read well-written literature, they would probably read a published book or smth yk). in saying that, it's totally okay for your fics to be imperfect (who cares! it's fanfiction!). I think just reminding yourself that ff is just a silly little thing u do in ur spare time (for which has 0 tie to your self-value) will keep you from overthinking things and raging when things get really hard !! when it comes to confidence, I think that comes gradually in small doses (the more you write, the more confident you become in your personal style / writing likes and dislikes), but maybe some ways to feel more confident is by getting a beta reader that you trust (and will give you effective advice — one that doesn't just shower you with compliments but can give you constructive criticism in a nice way), by reading other people's work (just to see if you're on the right track; if you read other people who have written similar tropes to you, it might make you feel less scared / in the dark bc you can see how they've executed it), or by changing the font on your google doc(?) to try reset your brain and re-read your work with fresh eyes.

I hope hope hope this helped in some way, please don't hesitate to reach out again if anything needs clarification or if I didn't quite answer your question (I'm sorry if I didn't 😭) !! <333 you're welcome anytime around here hehe so best of luck with ur series AND WELCOME TO BLRRRR <3333 it sounds like you're on the right track w ur writing if you're being conscious of all these things so I wouldn't fret at all!!! <33

if it helps, I've written other writing tips here, here and here! 🫶