#i made this a while ago so i apologize for some of the anatomy mistake

[froggtogs]

here’s the piece I did for @screaminkzine !! this is the more censored version so you’ll have to check out the zine to see the original. it’s a super cool free horror zine that a whole bunch of awesome people worked on, so why not check it out!!

[divinegrey]

𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚖𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚑 / 𝚛𝚎𝚢𝚗𝚊 𝚡 𝚏!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

i feel bad for not writing the hc requests but my inspiration is so low so i chugged this out as an apology. enjoy!

prompt: during a routine checkup, things go a little more south than you were ever expecting it to. now isn't the time to forget the sharpness in reyna's mouth. words: 1400 warnings: mommy reyna vampire blood sucking. that's it.

“You’re all set. Thanks for coming in, hothead,” you say, patting Phoenix on the back as you escort him out of the private infirmary room. He gives you a warm grin and a two-fingered salute before walking away. As he does, he pops the collar of his jacket, a spark flashing off. Ah, I love that kid, you think to yourself. 

“Is this really necessary, cariño?” The voice of none other than Reyna comes into your ear, a soft crooning lilt that does more to tell you that she’s right next to you. You turn your head to meet her gaze. 

“Yes, it is, for the sake of our records. It won’t take more than ten minutes, so quit your whining while you’re ahead,” you say, tapping Reyna on the noise before turning to step inside the infirmary. Routine checkups on the Agents— more specifically, the Radiants— helps you keep track of their Radianite levels to see if there’s anything amiss. 

Usually, there isn’t, but the checkups are ordered from the higher ups. Not much anyone can do about it. 

Reyna gives a slight tsk as she follows you inside, dressed in her usual fatigues of a sleeveless tank tucked into some cargo pants. You close the door behind you for privacy, wash your hands, then snap on a pair of latex gloves. 

“We are getting some blood. Shouldn’t be a problem for you,” you say, pulling out the necessary equipment. “Don’t look at me like that.” 

“You’re lucky I tolerate you, cariño,” Reyna says, extending her arm. She doesn’t even blink when you press the needle into her arm, drawing just enough for you to analyze later at the lab. After labeling the tube, you place it into the rack next to Phoenix’s. You’re about to offer Reyna a bandage when the wound seals over on its own, just like that. 

You run some more tests; checking the eardrums, flashing the eyes for responsiveness, so on and so forth. It comes back all good— for how bloody and violent Reyna gets, her body is made for it. Her power is consolidated into the perfect machine for fighting. 

Which brings you to the last bit of the checkup. 

“Open up.” You tap Reyna’s cheek. 

Her brows furrow together. “No.” 

“Don’t fight it. I just need to check your teeth and the glands,” you say, having memorized Reyna’s unique anatomy. Begrudgingly, Reyna shifts closer, leaning her body and opening her mouth. At the same time, you see the naturally sharp canines in her shiny white teeth begin to elongate into their fullest form. 

The extent to how much Reyna actually would be considered a vampire is… questionable, but the fangs are a reminder of how deadly she is. Doesn’t mean you can’t do your job. 

You grasp her jaw with one hand, using the other to run your fingers over her molars, the back of her lower teeth, before skimming over the fangs. The edges are sharp, and you curl your finger to press a spot behind her front row teeth. As expected, the bloody red liquid of her own potent blood slips out from her fangs. 

Reyna’s blood might as well be its own class of toxin. 

“Seems like everything is working fine,” you say, withdrawing your fingers only to notice the somewhat faraway gaze in Reyna’s eyes, paired with the shade of paleness on her face. “Reyna? Are you feeling well?” 

The woman wipes her mouth with the back of her palm. “Brimstone and Sage have seen fit to punish me for my…” Reyna rolls her eyes. “Mistake I made on a mission a week ago. I haven’t been on any since then.” 

You nod. “So you haven’t fed.” 

The Empress merely nods. 

“I hate to sound clinical, but we do have blood bags in the back for transfusions. I can sign one off for you,” you say, writing some notes down on the clipboard for filing purposes. 

Reyna scoffs. “You mistake me for a beggar, cariño. If it isn’t fresh, I don’t want it.” 

Frankly, you should’ve expected that retort. With a sigh, you pull off the gloves and deposit them into the trash. After that, you double check the door— locked— and you pull off the white coat you wear as a doctor, putting it to the side. 

“Wrist or jugular?” You ask. Reyna’s eyebrow cocks up. 

She stands. You’re reminded both of her height and her immense presence, an eerie feeling crowding the room and sending warmth up your spine. Your heart kicks up, beating quicker than it was two seconds ago. You’re a respected doctor, sure, but you’re left with little room to argue when Reyna grips your hip and spins you around. 

You fall onto the examination table, being pushed to the side until you’re laying flat on your back. Reyna quickly straddles your hips. 

“Last chance.” Reyna’s voice is both a reminder and a warning. 

“I’d be a horrible doctor if I didn’t help my patients,” you say. Light glows in Reyna’s irises, and you see the sharp fangs glint in the harsh lighting before she grabs your head and descends onto your neck. 

There’s a pinch, followed by what some would call a sigh and others would call a moan out of Reyna.

Reyna drinks from your neck, the pressure of her jaw causing your head to go fuzzy. You flex your fingers, trying to activate every part of your body to stay afloat in a sea of muddled… pleasure? Heat sears in your body like a furnace, only to be quickly swept out by a tidal wave of cold that comes in the form of Reyna’s palm on your forehead. 

Your entire body feels as though it’s being dragged through the sea, emotions rushing over you at a speed that leaves them incomprehensible. The only anchor you have is her, the woman on top of you. Weakly, you grab onto her, fingers curling into her belt. There’s a chuckle against your neck that makes your eyes roll into the back of your head. 

Horrifyingly, you realize you’re craving her whilst she devours you. 

The fangs unlatch, and you feel the warmth swath of Reyna’s tongue licking over the wounds. Briefly, you wonder if her saliva acts like a cauterizer, but there’s little time to test your hypothesis because you’re being pulled upward, and the rush of what blood you have left to your head makes you dizzy. 

“Easy, cariño,” Reyna says, cradling your head in her hands. There are lines of blood in the corners of her mouth— your blood— that makes her look far more attractive than you ever want her to be. You’re her doctor, for fucks sake. Reyna grins. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re delicious?”

“Not… not recently, no,” you say, holding onto her waist. You blink through the blurriness; interesting feelings you’re experiencing. You’ll have to write these down later. “Feeling better?” 

“Much.” Reyna laughs. “And I suppose I must say thank you for offering. You’re delectable. How much do you charge for repeats?” 

“Consider this a one-time favor. It isn’t going to happen again.” Even as you say it, it feels like a lie. Reyna gives you a wry smile. 

“Don’t be so sure. I can be—” Reyna leans down to your ear, and you jerk at the sensation of her tongue sliding over your lobe before her teeth bites down not-so-gently. Despite it, you get a burst of tingles in your stomach. Reyna chuckles. “Very persuasive. Besides, your blood is far too delicious to let go of.” 

The woman strokes her hands over your neck, raking her nails over the fabric of your shirt before slinking away and off your lap. Before you realize it, Reyna has slipped out of the door, the tension within the room defusing faster than you can handle it. The come down makes you feel jittery. You raise your hand to your neck, finding nothing but two small pockmarks where her teeth once were. 

Slowly, you get off the examination table. 

Suddenly, you’re thankful Reyna was the last one you had for the day, because shit, you’re unsteady. 

And against your own conscience, you find yourself wishing Reyna had taken more.  

~~~~~ A/N: thanks for reading!

[angsthology]

Brownies before Basketball

summary; you and your friends play basketball while you’re high.

warnings; drug use (marijuana), poor explanation of basketball (i don’t know shit about sports), chaos, roller coaster of emotions (not for u, for the characters). — 4k words. (HELP??!$#@# I DIDNT EVEN KNOW IM SO SORRY).

characters; fem!reader, carmen moreno (fem!oc), holly knight (fem!oc), caitlyn chang, cedric diggory, niko clementine (male!oc), ernie macmillan, zacharias smith, hyde cyprus (male!oc), harlem cyprus (fem!oc).

i changed cho’s first name due to the fact that the name cho is simply another last name (she is still very much played by katie leung). and it annoys the absolute hell out of me that jkr can’t even give proper representation and name an actual person w/o being a racist.

disclaimer; please keep in mind that english is not my first language so I do apologize if there are any mistakes and/or such.

a/n; i didn’t have my laptop so i wrote this on my phone so sorry for any mistakes :/ also this is kinda like if the baseball episode of greys anatomy and weed cookies combined + that one thanksgiving episode of friends, so i guess this is kinda inspired by those.

As you entered your second week of summer, you decided to invite your friends over to hang around at your house. Especially after the muggle twins that lived next door to you had invited you over to play something basketball with them someday, so you decided to kill two birds with one stone and invite your friends over so you could all have something to do (plus you may or may not want to see your Pureblood friends get confused by the game).

So when the day came, your parents were out of town for the week, and your house was already cleaned up as you wait for your friends to arrive.

Cedric put both his hands in his pocket after pressing on the doorbell as he wait for someone to open the door for him.

The door swung open after quick steps were heard. But when he saw who had answered the door, Cedric furrowed his brows in confusion.

“Caitlyn? Why are you answering the door—”

He was quickly cut off by the raven-haired girl, “Cedric! Thank God you’re here!” she exclaimed in a rush. Only now the boy noticed the frantic look on the Ravenclaw’s face.

“What happened? Is everything alright?”

Letting the boy let himself in, Caitlyn quickly speed-walked towards the stairs with the boy following in tow.

“Absolutely not! You’ll have to see for yourself.” she replied as she ran up the stairs with the boy still following closely behind her.

When the two made it upstairs, Caitlyn stopped in front of your door, blocking Cedric from entering in.

“Okay before I show you, I had absolutely nothing to do with this. I arrived before you did and they were like this when I came in looking for them.”

Arching his brow, Cedric asked, “Are you saying you broke into the house?”

“Of course, not! Y/N told me where the spare key was some time ago.” she paused, turning around to open the door, “Brace yourself.”

Arching his brows even further, Cedric was confused, why should he brace himself?

When the door opened, a loud gasp was heard as a group of screams followed. A shush then erupted and everything was quiet, making Cedric pop his head to the side from behind the shorter much shorter girl (for some reason), letting his eyes scan the room, looking at his friends that were scattered around the room.

You, Carmen, and Holly were on the corner of the room all huddled together looking caught and guilty, your hand covering Carmen’s mouth for some odd reason whilst Holly simply stared into the nothingness in front of her. On your front left, Ernie was splayed on the floor, propping his head up for one quick second to see who was at the door then dropped it back to the ground, continuing to stare at your bedroom ceiling. And behind him was Niko, who was sitting on your bedside table, knees to his chest as he also had a grip on your lamp, looking mortified as ever. Last but not least, half of Zacharias’ body was somehow hanging upside down from the roof of your four-poster bed, a guitar in hand. Cedric’s eyes looked skeptically at the six of you, darting from one person to the other.

His eyes widen at the realization when he saw the one familiarity you all had, “Are you all fucking high?”

A few seconds passed, the six of you looked at each other before bursting out laughing after being caught.

“Holly made us brownies!” you exclaimed happily.

“Have you learned nothing?! You should never eat whatever Holly bakes!” exclaimed Cedric.

“Hey! How dare you mister—just because you’re a Prefect does not mean you’re a judge in The Great British Bake Off!” barked Holly, who was snapped out of her own little world at the mention of her name.

“No he’s right, every time you bake, something bad happens — you should get your own kitchen.” all of a sudden sounding gloomier than before, you spoke from your spot, earning murmurs of agreement from around the room.

Holly huffed begrudgingly as she crossed her arms, retreating back to her corner like a toddler, grumbling multiple complaints under her breath pettily.

Cedric was about to scold the lot again when the doorbell rang.

Panic raised in the two sobers’ bodies, turning around then back at the group, they look at each other, “Shit! I think that’s Hyde and Harlem!” said Caitlyn in panic.

“Hyde and Harlem? What are they? Post-apocalyptic evil twins—” Ernie jumped out of his spot gasping, “—Are they?! Oh my god– my family– by parents! They’re all dead, aren’t they?! Oh my god– oh god– did they—?” he stood up from his seat, panicked cries booming around the room of stoned teenagers, “Those scumbag evil twins– it was them, wasn’t it? I knew they were no good! They’re gonna pay for this.” the Hufflepuff went to run out the room but was quickly stopped by Cedric who held his shoulders.

“We’re all gonna die!” cried Carmen in the back dramatically, followed by the rest of the group who panicked their own ways — all as dramatic as the other, some even more.

“No one’s paying for anything! And no one is gonna die! Sit down!” he pushed the boy lightly back to where he was before. “Look I’m gonna try and stall them, you lot stay here.” he announced then turning back to where Caitlyn was stood next to the door frame, “You, figure something out while I stall.” he quickly ran out and down the stairs before she could stop him.

Taken aback, Caitlyn moved out of the door, facing Cedric who was already walking away, “Me? Why me?!” she protested.

“I don’t know, you’re the smart one!” he yelled.

“Hey! Just because I’m a Ravenclaw—” she stopped mid-sentence knowing the bit could no longer hear her and that she didn’t exactly know what her objection was, she sighed, grumbling as she walked back into the room.

Caitlyn went to you and the girls at once, offering her hand out, “C’mon let’s get you all up first.”

Your face stared in awe as you grabbed her hand, “You’re so pretty– is your Mum Aphrodite?” your voice sounded in a daze as you stumbled your way to standing up as you stared at the girl in awe.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” asked Carmen who also had a hazy voice.

The black-haired girl chuckled lightly, “Something like that.” she mused.

The three girls groaned at her answer.

All of a sudden, Holly gasped, making every head turn to her.

“Are you a Mermaid?” she whispered loudly.

Chuckling again, she offered the curly-haired girl her hand, “Unfortunately not.”

Groans of disappointment rang around the room.

A moment later as Caitlyn was busy getting the girls to even stand up from their corner, she heard the strums of guitar from behind her. Zacharias (still only showing half of his body from the roof of your bed) started humming a tune as his fingers strum a perfect chord somehow.

Caitlyn wanted to get the boy down before he falls off, but she was also curious as to what he’s about to do next — what song he was gonna sing.

“The stars are falling from the sky...

And you’re the reason why...”

The strums of his guitar going softly with his voice, even surprising the dark-haired girl.

“The moon is shining on your face...

And I finally think it’s found it's place...”

The group of stoned teenagers followed along, humming the song with him. You, Holly, and Carmen bopping your heads softly — all very much in a daze still.

Then the rhythm started to go a bit harder than before, “‘Cause maybe, baby, I just wanna do you, do you,” his voice going more high-pitched and louder.

Caitlyn sighed at the sudden change of lyrics and intensity of the song, moving forward where Zacharias was, just a few centimeters away from his body thing upside down.

“Do you wanna do me, do me? Underneath the moon—” his overly-high voice got cut off by the younger girl under him.

“Zacharias! Get down before you hurt yourself!” she exclaimed.

The Hufflepuff whined at the interruption, “Why...” elongating the word, making Caitlyn sigh.

“You’re gonna eventually fall off, now get down before it happens.” She said sternly.

“But Cait...” he whined again, “Don’t you wanna hear the rest of my song?” Flipping his body over so he was now facing the girl. “I wrote it for you...” he said cheekily, an ominous smirk playing at his lips.

Caitlyn groaned in disgust at his confession — somewhat. “Oh hell...” she muttered under her breath in disbelief. Shaking off her disgusted thoughts, Caitlyn looked back up at the bit sternly, “Off!” She exclaimed, the boy getting down begrudgingly at once, words under his breath that were along the lines of Caitlyn being a ‘buzzkill’. As soon as his feet touched the ground, he stumbled forward and was unable to stop himself — Cait too was too late on catching him — Zacharias landed harshly on Ernie’s body that was splayed on the floor.

Both boys yelled as Zach’s body hit Ernie’s stomach, Ernie being louder than the two seeing as every and all weight that belonged to Zach was now on him. “Get off you fat-arse!” Ernie exclaimed at the brunette who lay limp on top of him.

“You’re comfy...” he muttered.

“Off!”

Zacharias grumbled once more as he stood up at once, offering his friend a hand to stand up.

All the while that was happening Caitlyn had somehow become confused at where the guitar Zacharias once held went, “Where’d it go...”

She cursed herself for getting distracted, moving her gaze to the boy who was still sitting like a statue on Y/N’s bedside table.

“Niko...” she said softly at her brother who still looked mortified. He blinked at the sound of his name, his eyes finally moving to where his sister was standing, “Hey buddy... Why don’t we get you down yeah?” She said softly, nodding along with Niko who slowly obliged.

Everyone was now finally standing up, all in their own world, some giggling, some just simply existing.

Caitlyn stared at the line of human chaos, unable to think of what next.

Until someone spoke up.

“What are we doing anyway?” exclaimed Holly from the far left, murmurs of the same question following.

“We... Are going to play, basketball!” Cait said truthfully, trying to pull a response from the group. Some signs of their knowledge of the game.

The group stayed quiet at the news.

Ernie spoke up, “W-what’s basketball?”

Caitlyn was about to answer the boy’s question when someone else beat her to it.

“Isn’t it the one with the big stick and pillows on the ground?” You thought out loud.

“No, dingbat!” objected Carmen, sparking hope inside of Caitlyn, “That’s Tennis...” she continued softly.

Holly then voiced again, “Oh... isn’t that the one with the netted sticks– stick-nets–”

The group continued to argue on what basketball is with Nicholas muttering, “I thought that was Lacrosse...” alone in the background.

Caitlyn looked over the group of older kids, sighing as she was hopeless.

“H-hey!” Greeted Cedric nervously as he opened the door, being met with the muggle twins themselves.

Both giving him a bright smile, Harlem had a headband in between her fingers, fiddling with them. Hyde being on the other side of his sister, he held a basketball in his arm, a smile also decorating his face.

“Hello?” Greeted Harlem, a tad-bit confused (despite her cheery expression) at the unfamiliar boy who had answered the door.

“Did Y/N move?” Hyde whispered lowly to his sister — though failing as Cedric could still hear him.

“Oh—no! I-I’m Cedric!” failing to keep hiding his nervousness, Cedric introduced himself.

The twins’ eyes brighten at the mention of his name. “Cedric!” They exclaimed.

Now it was the boy’s turn to get confused, “Yeah?” he stared warily at the two.

Snapping out of their daze, Harlem was one to speak, “Sorry! It’s just– we’ve just heard so much of you. Y/N would not stop talking about you. It’s nice to finally put a face on the name.” She said casually.

Cedric’s cheek immediately felt warm at the news that you talk to people about him, “O-oh?” he said shyly, making the twins chuckle, nodding. For a few moments, Cedric was unable to form words in his mouth, his brain felt like it stopped working. Soon enough, he notices the two people standing in front of him again, he shook his head and plastered a small smile on his face, “All good things I hope.” He said smiling.

“Well yeah, the best. It’s always, Cedric this, Cedric that, ‘Cedric won the Quidditch cup!’”

“Oh—” he was surprised that the boy had mentioned Quidditch, which made Cedric almost object and make up a lie about how Quidditch was a muggle sport they had never heard of.

“No need to fuss up a lie mate, we know.” Hyde reassures casually, which made Cedric a bit tense but overall relieved he didn’t need to lie about one more thing.

“Can we come in?” asked Harlem.

Cedric nodded in realization, moving out of the way for the two to enter.

“So... Where is Y/N? And the rest of your friends? She said there was gonna be quite a lot of you.” Harlem mentions casually.

Remembering about his group of friends, Cedric began to fumble nervously again, “They’re upstairs—” quickly thinking up a lie, “Freshening up!” not quite a lie actually.

“Oh, okay.” the two muggles reply softly as they sat down on the dark blue linen couch.

Silence passed the three for a moment, slight awkwardness (that was radiating off of the only wizard in the room) hanging in the air.

“So...” Cedric started, moving over to the small ottoman across the couch, the coffee table separating the twins and the Hufflepuff. The two looked up at the suspiciously high-pitched voice that belonged to Cedric. “W-what’s it like, b-bein’ a muggle and all that?” he asked, that being the only thing he could come up with. Looking all innocent, Cedric rested his chin on his palm, smiling awkwardly at the two as he waited for them to say something.

“Uhm—it’s, okay?” said Hyde, a bit unsure at what he was supposed to respond.

Harlem was about to defuse the tension by saying something but she was stopped by a loud thud and a pair of yelling coming from up the stairs. All of the words that were in her mouth before were immediately bumped by the new forming ones, so she asked, “Is everything alright up there?”

“Y-yeah.” Answered Cedric nervously (as per usual). “Y-you know what, I’m gonna go check on them– you two wait here and look pretty.” He said in a rush, not realizing what he had just said.

“W-what?” they both said in unison as the boy ascended up the stairs.

The boy barged into the room of stoned teens arguing over basketball.

“What’s happening, why aren’t any of you sober?” he asked, all attention immediately turned to him.

He looked at Caitlyn expectedly, waiting for an answer. The girl uncrossed her arms and started, “There’s nothing I could do about this! Marijuana usually lasts longer when ingested, I don’t know when they’re gonna be sober!”

Looking around nowhere to be exact, Cedric tries to think of something — anything. But nothing came to mind. He looks up, your mouth falling agape.

“Alright, I can’t think of anything right now so, I’m gonna have to ask you guys to act sober alright? As much as you can. You can do it, I believe in you.” He explained.

All the while he was explaining and looking at you all expectantly, your mouth was still a wide O. Carmen noticed how you were staring at the boy, looking confused and disgusted, she lifted your chin to close your mouth only for it to drop again.

Then all of a sudden his eyes met yours and you can feel your heart stop, “Are you a prince...” you said softly.

Seeing as that was the only response he got, the boy slapped his forehead, his palm gliding down his face, trying to stay calm and not snap at your currently fragile feelings.

He sighed, “If I say yes would you all do as I say?”

A variety of agreements were heard from the group.

“Then yes, I am a Prince of a great Kingdom somewhere.” sounds of little ‘woah’s erupted, “Now go wash your faces, we’re playing basketball.”

Everyone stood in the middle of the court as the game was about to start.

You had somehow changed into a white Tune Squad jersey along with the pants set. Everyone else were either wearing a shirt or a tank top and joggers. Carmen herself had a headband she had misplaced, making it cover her eyes instead.

The Cyprus twins looked at your dazed little group — all still trying to act sober (failing terribly might I add).

“Okay... Uhm,” started Hyde who was confused, “L-let’s choose teams.”

Cedric looked around, specifically at the group behind him, “Uh—yeah, alright. Who’s gonna be the team leaders?”

“You and I, can— if you want. Since I heard you were captain of your Quidditch team, and I’m captain of my basketball team.” Hyde continued.

“Yeah, alright, uhm—”

“Can I be on his team?” you cut him off, pointing at the boy himself.

Cedric stared at you, then to Hyde.

“No, go ahead.”

After a surprisingly short team choosing session, you end up with Yourself, Zacharias, Carmen, Harlem, and Holly in Cedric’s team. And Caitlyn, Ernie, Niko, and Holly on Hyde’s.

A few minutes into the game, everything went pretty well. Good actually, the boys seem to at least know what’s going on, whereas Caitlyn had to occasionally bring you and the other girls back to reality.

Slowly but surely, those who ate the brownies slowly lose their focus on the game. You had passed the ball to the opposing team on purpose because you thought Holly was pretty and Niko had also thrown the ball right at Cedric’s forehead, causing a few minutes time-out between the game.

Now it was another five minutes into the game, you and Zacharias had one arm slung over the others’ shoulders the two of you singing the lyrics to ‘Stacy’s mom’.

“She’s all I want and I’ve waited for so long...” your voices mend together as both of your free hands waved in the air.

“Stacy, can’t you see?” Letting yourself free from Zach’s arm, you faced him as you sung the lyrics on his face.

“You’re just not the girl for me...” he sung back.

Harlem watched in confusion as she dribbled the ball, running towards her opposing team’s net.

Holly was on the other side of the court singing along quietly by herself, swaying around in her own zone before Caitlyn walked up to her, hands on her shoulder, “Have you seen Niko?” she asked.

The Hufflepuff took a moment to pause and think, “Oh, yeah. He went to chase for Alvin.”

Caitlyn furrowed her eyebrows, “Who?”

“You know... Alvin, the little guy. He uhm—he has two brothers, the other one is blue and smart and like—there’s the smaller chubby green one.” she explained all loopy.

Furrowing her eyebrows further, she tries to decode Holly’s little imaginative explanation. Her eyes look like they could pop out of her head, “He went to chase a squirrel?!” she exclaimed, immediately finding her brother trying to climb up a tree in the distance, running towards him at once, leaving Holly on her own once more.

“Hey! They are chipmunks! Those are different...”

Soon enough, everything returned to chaos; Caitlyn was trying to get her brother off the tree before he could hurt himself (“I hate this deja vu,” expressed the girl), Ernie was somehow laid on his front on the floor, crying his eyes out for absolutely no reason and Carmen sitting quietly on his back, you and Zach had moved on to another song (“If long hair and tattoos are what attract you, baby then you’re in luck!”) and dancing around in circles, focused on your own moves though your voices moved in sync.

There were so many things happening, the only two people sober who were aware of the situation had forgotten completely of Hyde and Harlem who was now standing next to each other, watching every scene in sight unfold.

“Is this what happens when you’re a wizard?” whispered Harlem to her brother.

“I’m not sure...”

You woke up with a groan escaping your lips, you were confused when you didn’t feel or see even a slight of sunlight. When you open your eyes, you were in your room and it was dark outside, next your eyes scanned across your room, immediately noticing the brunette that was sitting on a chair, a book in hand.

“Cedric?” at the name, said boy looked up with a smile on his face.

“Hey, you’re awake...” he said, his smile not faltering.

Then your eyes scanned across your room again, seeing all of your friends splayed out and all dead asleep. Ernie was on the floor next to you, a blanket underneath him along with a pillow, you could see spikes of brown hair at the end of your bed where a small ottoman was placed — probably Zacharias. On the end of your bed, Carmen was fast asleep on your feet, one arm draped over her eyes. On your left, you notice a mess of brown curls, moving the hair up a bit, you can see Holly sleeping peacefully. The only ones missing were Niko and Caitlyn.

You looked back to Cedric, the boy already knowing what you were about to say, he nodded his head towards the direction of the other side of your bed, you carefully towered over Holly to see the other side (very careful not to wake her), seeing Niko sleeping peacefully with one of your stuffed animals in his arms.

Sitting back on your side of the bed, your eyes fell to Cedric again, you were about to say something when a groan cuts you off.

“Ugh... What happened?” asked the blonde boy to your right, his question waking the rest of the group (except Niko, presumably).

“Holly baked.” replied Cedric as a matter of factly.

Everyone immediately groaned at his response, knowing all-too-well what had happened.

“Hey!” the baker sat upright in her spot, pulling out her defense and offense, “I was just trying to do something nice...”

“Pot brownies are too nice Holls...” mumbled Zacharias, Holly only making a ‘hmph’ noise in return, then falling back onto her bed covering her face with your covers.

Noticing the absence in the room, Carmen was the one to ask, “Where’s Cait? —Wait, I didn’t–” she paused, “I didn’t do anything too stupid, didn’t I? Cedric, please tell me she’s still my girlfriend...” she looked at him pleadingly which only made him chuckle.

“Don’t worry, she still loves you.” he reassured, “She went home early, said she had to wash off the stupidity off of her.” he chuckled.

Pausing for a moment, Carmen shrugged, “Eh, good enough.”

Carmen’s question sparked a realization in yourself, you quickly looked at Cedric and as if he had read your mind (your expression showed it all, actually), he reassured with a smile, “I am still your boyfriend, don’t worry.”

All of a sudden, Niko’s voice came out of the blue, “Hey, y’know Holls... If you ever decide to open a bakery, you should call these the Pot Puffs special, since you’re a Hufflepuff and all.” he joked, making his presence known to the room. His joke only made Holly groan from under the sheets.

Popping her head from under the covers, she glares down at the bit to her right, “Say crap about my baking again, next time it’s rat poison.” Pointing her finger at him then continuing moving her head for everyone to see, she pointed around the room, “Goes for all of you lot.”

this was supposed to be short whoops (could’ve been longer, this was the shortest i could go)

[herstarburststories]

You Have A Home

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader

Summary: After a call from Y/N, Sam comes back town to help -- and brings Dean with him.

Requests: N°1 heyhey, could you do a Sam x reader where they went to college togehter and later meet again and they realise their feelings for eachother...xx + N°2: can you do a college sam headcanon with medicine student reader

A/N: This was fun! The monster here is mentioned in season 6, when the boys ask Bobby for advice on how to kill it. This is my first Samgirl long imagine, with Dean being the flirty he is. I wrote this almost one year ago, so it's more crude and I'm nervous to be posting it! And my piece for @cajunquandary 's 600 challenge, my prompt was monster of the week. Dividers by @talesmaniac89!

Dean's eyes remained on the road when the bitter statement left his body, tangled with a wry chuckle, “I can't believe you are still in touch with those people.”

“Those people?” Sam arched elbows, slightly skeptical by his brother's tone, “They were my friends, Dean.”

“Sammy, all our friends? Dead. They all die. Or worse.” He glanced at him for a moment, pursing his lips together. It might not be an easy assignment, but was part of the job. Sammy had tried to run away plenty times and always came back, when would he understand? “We don't get to have friends. You should've learned that.”

“They are not our friends, they are my friends. Also, they don't know about the hunting life, they aren't in harm.” Sammy hissed once the other locked his green eyes on the road again. Dean sighed, moving one hand away and up from the steering wheel in a rendition gesture.

“Whatever you say, man. I'm just warning you, this doesn't usually end up good for them.”

Sam scoffed, Dean could get on his nerves sometimes, “We saved many people that got to have a good life.”

“Yeah, but those people didn't know us before that. I told you when you left Stanford--”

“I didn't keep contact, okay!? I just... I just still have a phone that they have the number of. No social media, no calls on birthdays.” Nervously gesticulating, he added, “I know how to keep them safe, Dean.”

“So, old friend?” The eldest Winchester asked after the few minutes of silence that followed Sam's outburst, “Female old friend?”

“Yes. (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” Dean smirked, and Sam to rolled his eyes at his behavior, “Keep it in your pants.”

He'd let out a malicious laughter before turning on the radio, the first guitar sounds of AC/DC playing in the background.

“I think you'll be the one not keeping it, Sammy.”

“Hello?��� The woman in nothing but a towel who had opened the door greeted them with a question, her brown eyes glaring at the two men with clear confusion.

Dean had no shame to check her out, innerly celebrating that she was still wet from her shower. Perhaps visiting Sam's friends wasn't that big mistake. “Hey, you.”

She grimaced at Dean for two seconds before turning her attention to Sam again, sudden recognition written on her face.

“Sam? Sam Winchester?” He nodded, smiling that light-hearted boyish grin at her. Not caring about her dressings, she just threw herself at Sammy, hugging him tightly. “I missed you!” She pulled away only to hit his shoulder. Her short stature didn't match Sam's, but he'd still make a grimace at her attempt of slap. “Why didn't you call? God, your hair grew a lot. Listen, I have some scissors.”

“Tried that, didn't work.” Dean interrupted their reencounter, trying to get in the conversation. An usual lopsided grin on his face, “Dean Winchester, Sam's brother.”

“Layla, Sam's friend.” She gave him a friendly smile in return, opening space for them to pass through the door before closing it, “Come in, I need to change in clothes.”

“I wouldn't even dream of that. Seriously.”

Layla would just wiggle one of her brows at Dean's comments, not impressed by it, “Ele é sempre assim? (Is he always like this?)”

Thankfully, Sam still remembered a bit of his friend's native language. He just chuckled, managing to apologize for Dean's typical Dean behavior, “Unfortunately. Sinto muito. (I'm sorry)”

“(Y/N) is in the kitchen. I'll be right back.” Her accent was thicking stronger duo the comfortability around Sam. Excusing herself, the caramel skinned girl leaded upstairs.

“What did she say?” Dean asked, side glancing at the path Layla had just gone on, not even sure of which language she'd just spoken, much less what was said. Sammy didn't bother replying, satisfied to grin at his obvxion brother. “Dude, come on!”

“Sam!” A well-known voice filled the room as the image of (Y/N) appeared in front of them, dressing your loyal cook's avental. You didn't think twice before jumping on Sam. “I missed you, giant!”

He, like always, caught you with a light-hearted laughter, “I missed you too, cupcake.” You two spent a few moments like this, enjoying each other's warm and long lost touch, until Dean cleared his throat. You finally went back to the ground, embarrassed by having a stranger to see that level of intimacy between you and Sam, “This is Dean, my--”

“Handsome brother. Hello, cupcake.” Dean was so going to tease Sam for the rest of his life for it.

“You really live up for Sam's description.” You giggled, heading towards the kitchen “Come in, I'm baking.”

“So, you and Layla still live together?”

“Most of the time, yes. You know how she is, comes and goes. Never wanted to stay in a place for too long and got a job that supported that.” The boys followed you, Dean examining the kitchen and trying to discover what you were cooking through the smell, while Sam couldn't take his eyes on you, “Apparently, just like you.”

Even though your back was facing them as you checked the food, the bite didn't pass unnoticed, “I had to leave, (Y/N)”

“I understand that, Sam. But you never called or texted. It was like I--” You quickly corrected yourself, “We never existed for you.”

“It's not like that.” Sam sighed, how could he justify? He knew you wouldn't buy a simple excuse. You were smart, and knew him too well to swallow a 'I went on a trip with my brother and just decided that college wasn't my deal' and leave it for that.

“I'm here!” Layla declared, arriving into the room with an excited smile, it was good to have the gang back together. Although, the tangible tension almost made her go back to the shower, “Am I interrupting something?”

“A sitcom DR.” Dean answered with sarcasm, spreading his figure on the chair when you turned around with an apple pie in your hands “What about we talk about the ca-- Is this pie?”

“We heard a scream followed by a loud roar and (Y/N) stayed near the camping part because there was still a signal and I went looking for who it was. When I got there, the thing ran away. Jorge's body... No human did that. His chest was cracked open irregularly, as if it was done by an animal and his heart looked weird. Like it was squeezed and drawn on up somehow?”

“We got a Samia.” Dean stated, relaxing on his spot. Some sault, rosemary and fire would do the job just fine, “Let me guess, it left a clawn near the body or inside it?”

Layla nodded, “Right in the chest or what lasted of it.”

“Are you okay? Finding the body in that state.” A comprehensive manner englobed Sam's question, whom noticed the normality with his friend described finding a shattered body.

“Just some guts.” She shrugged, a grimace was all the reaction they'd get. Crying wouldn't help, neither being terrorized as they expected her too. “I've seen Grey's Anatomy enough not to care about it.”

“Well, I'm literally a medicine student and I am still not okay with that. Especially after you made me go and check the body.” You argued, glaring at your best friend who'd only roll her eyes in response.

“I needed a professional to say if he was dead or not!”

“You need a therapist.”

Dean got up, looking straight at Layla. Time to play the hero in shining armor, “Don't worry with that, we will take care of it.”

Frowning, you were the one to respond, “Do you work for the police now or?”

“Are implying that we investigate it by ourselves?” Your best friend added.

Dean couldn't believe his brother. How the fuck did he let them get inside without saying they didn't know about the hunting business? It was a luck shot that they didn't think much when he said Samia.

“Nope. Not you two. We will do it.” The blonde one said, pointing at them with a smirk.

“I agree, we will do it.” Layla replied, matching his taunt smile.

“Sam, I'm not letting you and your brother do it by yourself. Jorge was my professor, I knew him. Besides, we found the body.” You got on your feet and crossed your arms, waiting for a response. Sam always had a sort of hero complex, ready to help no matter what, but there was no way you'd be letting him go into danger with his brother. Getting in your dormitory to kill a cockroach back then or facing an idiot during a bar fight to protect one of your friends was something, but this? They were talking about looking for an assassin. What if something happened to him? You were the one who called. All on you. The thought of Sam getting hurt for any reason was unbearable, but because of you? You weren't willing to do that.

“You would be in danger, (Y/N). You both.” He tried to explain, internally hoping you'd accept his reasoning and let it go. Sam didn't want you to become one of the friends who knew about this life, you deserve more. He already lost one woman he loved in this city, he couldn't lose another.

You huffed in frustration, “Just like you will!” 

“It's different.” As he was terrified of, you insisted. Arms crossed still and eyes locked with his, determined to get something from him. Sam was smart enough to know that you would keep it going. Perhaps he could give you a short explanation, “Me and my brother, we are used to this. We hunt things like that.”

Layla tilted her head to the side. The way Sam talked remembered her of animal hunting, although she highly doubted that was the case, “Little more explanation?'”

“Monsters are real. Vampires, werewolves, spirits. The list goes on. Call us crazy. Roll the credits.” Sarcasm saltered every word of Dean's as he gestured up and down with a cocky smile. Everyone glared at him, a special furious look from his brother, “What? I thought they knew what we did and that's why she called.”

“Sam?” Your voice was fragile when you said his name, a demonstration that you would believe him through the fear of the truth, but that he had to say it.

Sam laid his hazel eyes on you. God, how he wished he didn't have to confirm anything, to break your vision of world so abruptly, “Dean is right. Supernatural things are real. I know it sounds--”

“Unbelievable? Problematic? Scary?”

“Yeah, all of them.” Sam offered you a humorless smile, then holding your hand the way he used to when you were nervous about an exam, “But I wouldn't lie to you, cupcake.”

The silence was broken by Layla opening a bottle of Whiskey, pouring them for the three people in the room besides herself. You rolled your eyes at your best friend, while Sam wore a tiny smile and Dean was astonished.

Noticing the eyes glued, the latina just shrugged “What? If you are gonna tell me that Dracula is real and you are a sort of Buffy's apprentice, then we will need some alcohol.”

“Why did you call?” Sammy asked, his brows knotted together, mouth slight open as he waited for your response. “You didn't know what I did. And he wasn't my professor at Stanford. Then why did you call, (Y/N)?”

You could make up a hundred excuses. Lie and say he was the one friend besides Layla that you had somehow a way to get to. Appeal to the excuse of 'I felt something weird about the death and you said I should call if I ever had a problem of any kind'. But for as much as you felt horrible for using a death as a pretext for calling him, that was partially the truth. You already had put yourself into a mess of monsters and a drained heart, it couldn't be scarier than being honest to Sam and to yourself.

At least, you hoped so. But your heart was rushing like when you saw Jorge's body. Jesus, when did love become so morbid?

You took a deep breath, oxygen barely achieving your lungs, and then started to talk.

“I wanted to call you the minute that you left, Sam. I almost did a million times.” You answered, looking down at the bottle of a sort of plant that he was putting in a dark green bag. “I thought about what you could be doing, what was so important that you couldn't send me a message. But you just didn't want to call, I guess.”

“I wanted to call, of course I did.” You scoffed at his statement, looking up to match his eyes, “(Y/N), I'm serious.”

“You didn't even come to Jess' funeral, Sam. Layla said that maybe you needed to leave to clear your mind, that was too much to deal with. But I was so worried, and sad and confused and I wanted to talk to you because you would understand, you always did. About anything. And I wanted to give you some sort of comfort, but--” You lifted your hands and shrugged your shoulder, a broken chuckle leaving your body. “But you weren't here.”

“You stopped leaving messages after two weeks. Calling was gone when it made a moth.” You sniffed. Sam's lips curved into a pure, cautelous grin. God, he was always so sweet. “The emails took two months.”

“You were never good with dates. I gave you a calendar in your freshman week.” Your teeth met your lower lip. He didn't answer, only nodding at your affirmation, omitting the fact that he still had the calendar between latin books and pieces of newspapers, “Yet, you remember all of it.”

Sam leaned forward, holding your hand with all the delicacy you would expect from a sculptor. It had been too long since he hugged you, and his touch made all your skin tickle with warmth. “I missed you too, (Y/N). I thought about you all those years.”

“So, Cupcake?”

"Let's focus on the case, Dean."

“Then you can go back and eat your cupcake?” He remarked with a grin. His brother just huffed, pointing the flashlight through the trees, “So, Layla…”

Sam rolled his eyes, like he usually did when Dean started being too Dean for his liking, “Dean. The case.”

Before he could make another teaseful comment, a roar invaded their audition. The hunters gave each other a quick glance before heading towards the direction of the noise.

Shaking the salt and rosemary mixture in his hands, Dean smirked, “That's it. Time to shine, cupcake.”

“I have to admit. Being patched up by a doctor is better than by Dean.”

A surprised, half relieved laughter came out your body as you finished another stitch on Sam's arm. That boy was unbelievable; openly talking and making jokes about his brother, who was also being patched up by your best friend in company of a bottle of whiskey, while he spoke about Layla's name being a rock song. You were working on a large wound on his shoulder-- which you were sure that was full of dirt from the forest.

Medicine student, but I'll take that complement.” You winked at him, gaining a soft grin from Sammy, “I was expecting more blo-- Why are you smiling? I'm touching a recent wound. It doesn't look dangerous, but I'm sure it is supposed to hurt. A lot.”

Sam's answer came out easily, the bare, vulnerable truth: “I'm happy you are here.”

You looked at him, his hair longer than before, but the soft simper remained on his face. You bit your lip to hold a giggle; her heart dared to hope. What he expected when he said things like this? A quiet contentment spread through his expression while he watched your reaction.

“You should have come home sooner.” 

His mouth formed a line, “I don't have a home, (Y/N). It's just Dean, me and the road now.”

“No, Sam.” Shaking your head lightly, you intertwined your fingers with his. His life was dangerous, you couldn't afford the luxury of waiting even more to share what you had finally admitted to yourself in the moment he walked through the door. It didn't seem like the easiest, simpler situation. But the only hard thing you couldn’t go through was to be away from Sam Winchester. He lingered on you for years, you were done letting him run away. It was time to hold his hand and walk together. “You should've come home sooner. To me.”

Comment & reblog. Feedback is magic! Check my masterlist ♡ Tags in reblog!

[pompousbiscuit]

(Y/N) Meets Zeke Yeager at a Radiohead Concert In the Year 2012 (Yes, It's The King Of Limbs Hour For Sure)

(You-16 Zeke-17 Porco-16 Pieck-17 Colt-16 Yelena- 17)

I don't fucking know why I think of these things, but here I go, this is for all of you Superior-Music-Taste-Thom-Yorke-er- Radiohead-virgins out there B)

The year is 2012, (Y/N) is 16, and the setting is a Radiohead concert almost one year post-King-Of-Limbs-album-drop.

After working for a few months at your first part time job, you were able to save enough cash to buy concert tickets for you and a friend.

The location of the venue is about 2 hours from your hometown, and it's quite the road trip.

Either using your/your friend's car, or public transportation, to make the trip.

Zeke is 17, he's also at this concert with a group of his friends: Colt, Porco, Pieck, Yelena.

You're jamming out to all the hits, swaying your body to the sound of the music just right, and letting yourself go in a way you've only ever done alone in your bedroom.

King Of Limbs wasn't Radiohead's most well received album, but you love almost anything Thom, that droopy eyed bastard, and the other members put out.

Your friend that you came to the concert with is currently on a bathroom break, leaving you to your own devices in the crowded room.

"Separator" plays loudly throughout the concert hall; the drum beat feels like it has made it's way under your skin, and the melodic sound of Thom's voice feels as if it's an instrument in its own right.

Zeke is currently jogging back inside, he had left only for a moment during a run through of "Morning Mr. Magpie" for a smoke break.

(it's not particularly his favorite on the album)

"Separator" is one of Zeke's favorites comparatively, and he might hit himself after if he ends up missing the live rendition.

He sees a familiar slicked back head of blonde hair while peering over the heads of the crowd, and Zeke's relieved to see Porco turn around and wave him over.

Zeke makes a b-line for his friend, trying his best to shove through the crowd as politely, yet firmly, as he can.

Whilst making his way over, Zeke bumps into someone who's almost completely oblivious to his presence, until said person trips over themselves and falls to their feet.

You luckily brace yourself, your palms and wrists making contact with the dirty ground as to protect your face.

Normally, Zeke would most likely brush this off and claim the situation to not be his problem, and most likely continue on his path to his friends.

A change of heart? Guilt for being a catalyst in knocking you over? (as he suspects it would've happened eventually) Or maybe it's because he notices the way your ass looks in your blue jeans.

Zeke can tell a good ass when he sees one, and everybody has an ass to be appreciated after all, no consideration for gender identity or assigned anatomy needed.

Zeke pauses and decides 'ah, what the hell'.

Zeke crouches down and holds his hand out to you, flashing a boyish grin that suits his younger looking face well, as he begins to offer you an apology.

"My mistake for knocking you on your ass, I was trying to get to my friends... Need a hand?"

Zeke half yells this apology, and in the end it's still very muffled sounding due to the loud music.

You are wary of the boy in front of you, being very well versed in all the basic "stranger-danger" rules, the ones your care-taker/parental-figure drilled into you before you left.

But the slight tug of the left side of his mouth, the dimple in his cheek, his shaggy yet soft looking blonde hair, his stupid but admittedly cool glasses that hang low on the bridge of his nose...

He's cute, and you're too aware of the fact to deny his hand that he's offered to you.

You say a "Thanks", only letting yourself look him in the eye for hardly a second, as he accepts your hand into his roughly textured one.

You feel a flush begin on your chest and rise up to your face, ashamed of yourself for practically drooling at the feeling of just a grasp of a hand around your own.

Zeke assists you in rising to your feet, and he can almost feel your eyes tracing his form, taking him in.

He looks rather typical, a dark t-shirt with a faded "Kid A bear" logo printed on it, under a wrinkled rusty-toned flannel with rolled up sleeves, dark denim loosely encompasses his lanky legs that end with damaged and worn low-top skate shoes.

You only realize your hand is still in his own, when you catch the cheeky look in his eye, after scanning back to to his face.

You retract your hand from his, with suspiciously quick retreat, that has him grinning a little wider.

"Name's Zeke, do you have one?"

You can smell his last cigarette on his breath as he talks, you're both in close proximity due to the people around you.

The performance of "Separator" is almost long forgotten at this point, it's now just the background noise to your first conversation with each other.

You shift your weight back and forth to each foot, settling on leaning to your right side, before looking up to answer him.

"It's (Y/N), and it's okay, I was kinda in my own world for a minute there..." You answer honestly, but almost too bashfully, taking the blame for your tumble.

Zeke shakes his head and answers immediately, "No, I wasn't really paying attention to who I was knocking into, but I guess I was kinda lucky that you happened to be my first victim."

His voice has a slight rasp to it, though he's just 17 he admittedly smokes like a chimney.

His words also have an attractive cadence to them, you can already tell he's a smart ass by the way he's immediately putting the moves on, but you find yourself not really caring all too much.

Zeke starts again, "I also get like that though, in my head I mean, 'specially with "Separator"..."

You nod along and begin to talk to him more about your interest for the track, hardly noticing as the minutes roll by, and with the song changing into "Little by Little".

The both of you exchange words and information throughout the next song, like your ages, preferred albums, what other concerts you've been to.

Zeke completely forgets about his friends in the minutes he's conversing with you, and the same happens with you, until Porco loudly appears with Colt behind Zeke.

"Dude! I waved you over like 10 minutes ago! What the hell Zeke? You're dragging your ass and the other's are-" Porco's sentence cuts off as his eyes drift over to you, understanding the hold up.

Porco turns his head to Zeke and receives a glower from the taller boy. Whilst wearing a shit eating grin, Porco gives Zeke a curt nod and a slap on the shoulder.

"Whatever, just shoot me text in a few man,"

Porco's eyes catch your your for second, as he raises a hand for a quick sayonara,

"Nice meeting ya'."

Zeke pushes up his glasses as he shakes his head in annoyance and heaves a sigh.

As Porco gestures for a confused Colt to follow him back to the rest of the group, you catch eyes with your own friend.

They give you an apologetic glance but then notice Zeke near you, they hold up their hand and toggle back and forth between a thumbs up and thumbs down, silently asking if Zeke's presence was a bother.

You give a thumbs up, which they respond with a double thumbs up, as they make their way over to a group of people and easily start to blend in.

You turn back towards Zeke and offer a smile, finally free of interruptions, as the song ends and fades into "Lotus Flower". Commotion erupts throughout the crowd, as the majority cheer for one of the most favored songs.

Zeke offers you a smile as well, and shuffles a step or two closer, before beginning to speak again.

Ending it there! If I make a follow up then that'll be over here when the time comes: Part Two

I actually... I don't even... Why, that's all I have to say, just why???

Thanks so much for the notes on my previous post! That was my first time hitting over 100 notes!

Tbh... "The King of Limbs" is on the same level as "In Rainbows" for me, soz if you're offended by that statement dawg. Lmk your opinions!

I am Zeke Trash #1, and you're watching Disney Channel

EDIT:

OK, IN LIGHT OF THE NEW EPISODE HERE IS SPICY TEENAGER ZEKE

FUCK IT UUUPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!! imagine this bitch ass in some skater slouchy grungy garbage, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

zeke liking radiohead [zeke playlist] -> MONKE

[nerdypanda3126]

Playing with Fire – Ch. 8

So two things: first, I did write a little interlude between last chapter and this one, and you can find it here.

And second, in the part with Luka's journal, he's in a dark place at that point in his life and there's some suicidal ideation in there. If you'd prefer to skip over it, you can jump over the italicized parts, and as far as I know that's the only time it'll pop up in this story 💖

Read on Ao3 

First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

“You want to find my family?” Luka asked incredulously as he held a branch aside for her to walk past. 

He was tired, and so was she; they’d been walking all night, but Luka had insisted they needed to put as much distance as they could between them and the tower while they still had the cover of darkness. By the time the sunlight was able to filter down to them through the canopy, she suspected it was closer to mid-afternoon and they’d been up for a full twenty-four hours. He’d been stuck in his mostly-human form for the longest he’d ever had to endure it. Maybe not an ideal time to bring up her plan, but…  

“We’re already running for our lives, we don’t have a home to go back to, at least not for a while, so… While we’re out wandering anyways, I thought…” 

“We’d lead an angry mob straight to my mother and sister?” 

She rolled her eyes at him. Definitely not the best time to bring up her plan. “You’re cranky when you’re tired,” she noted, letting her own irritation slip into her tone. He grunted back, but it was more of a challenge than an assent. 

“Besides,” she pushed on, ignoring the way he bristled, “it might take a while to find them. How long do you think the townspeople will follow us, anyways? My guess is they get to the tower, see it’s empty, and turn around and go home.” 

“I’m not worried about them,” he grumbled. “There’s a certain friend of yours who didn’t seem ready to give up anytime soon.” 

If he had venom, he’d injected it into the word “friend.” She winced at his bitter tone. 

“Okay, so what’s your plan? We wander the wilds aimlessly chasing our tails for the rest of our lives?” 

He faltered and glanced over at her. The way he seemed so unsure made her realize he’d never had a plan. At least not past “stay alive and wait.” This was all new to him; he didn’t know what he was doing or where he was going. They’d traveled in as much of a straight line as was possible away from the tower, but other than that… he was lost. 

She drew closer to him and threaded her arm through his as an apology. He laid a hand over hers as he took her meaning and sighed. 

“Where would we even start?” he asked, his voice small in the quiet of the forest around them. 

“There have to be other towns nearby, and I’m sure someone would remember seeing dragons flying around 18 years ago.” 

“More townspeople…” he grumbled again. “Great.” 

She squeezed his arm in sympathy and they walked in silence for a while. She could feel the weight of the plan starting to fall on his shoulders, the idea of asking around, relying on humans, how long it might take. In truth, she hadn’t realized the enormity of the undertaking until she’d proposed it to him and now she could agree that it sounded impossible. 

“Maybe they’ve been waiting for you, too,” she dared to say. 

He let out a quiet laugh. “Ma wouldn’t, her treasure is the open skies and she wouldn’t wait for anyone.” He paused to think, then sighed. “Juleka might, though.” 

“Your sister?” 

“Mhmm. We were close when we were young. Before…” His eyes slid over to her and he let it drop. “She might’ve followed Ma at first, but I’m sure she wasn’t happy with the decision to leave me behind.” 

“What’s she look like?” Marinette asked, her curiosity overtaking her. He’d never talked about it before, but for once he seemed open to the topic. He smiled wistfully as he tried to remember. 

“A lot like me, I guess. Except, you know…not...” He gestured to himself, to his human form. “Unless she made the same mistake, but I doubt Ma would’ve let that happen again. And she’s taller than me, or at least she was when we were little. Maybe it’s changed a bit, but she was always kind of a lanky thing. Ma’s pride and joy, though, if I’m honest. It’s her fire. Most dragons have some variant of red; it’s rare enough to get blue fire, but Jules…” He shook his head, that wistful smile growing as he remembered. “Jules had violet fire. Unheard of, really. You’ll see when you meet her, she’s—” He caught himself then as he realized what he’d said. “If, I guess,” he amended quietly. 

She squeezed his arm again and smiled over at him. “When,” she agreed. “When I meet her.” 

He half-shrugged, but his smile warmed when he looked over at her. Before she could stop it, she yawned loudly and he laughed as one took him over, too. 

“First things first,” he said when it subsided, looking around at their surroundings. “We need to find a place to camp.” 

***

Later that evening they found a cave. 

Marinette had laughed a little at the prospect. Dragons, caves, towers, curses. Her life was sounding more and more like a fairytale turned inside out. Wasn’t there supposed to be a shining knight that rescued the damsel in distress from the terrible, fire-breathing dragon? 

But she didn’t feel very “in distress” as Luka joined hands with her to remove his stone and sighed with relief when his transformation took hold. She didn’t feel very in distress as he blew a small ring of fire into the floor of the cave, patting it down as he went to create a smooth, warm, bowl-shaped indent for them to curl up in together. And the only distress she felt as she tucked herself into his coils was her racing heart and trembling hands as the kiss they'd shared came back to her. He blinked up at her, sensing her hesitation, and uncurled a bit as if he intended to stand. 

She shook her head and laid her hand on his back, reassuring him, then took a moment to run her fingers over his scales, admiring them in their full splendor. Even though they were pitch black, they caught the bare light of the cave and glinted back at her like he was wearing a solid coat of jewels. They turned softer towards his belly, finer, more like the scales of a snake that she was used to as opposed to the armor he wore on top. 

As she continued to touch him, he let out that noise again, a small satisfied hum, and laid his head over his claws as he closed his eyes. 

His wings fascinated her. There was a solid joint of muscle on each side where they met his shoulders, as thick as both her fists put together, but the wings themselves seemed so fragile—she could see her hand through the delicate skin stretched thin between the bones. And yet they were able to hold not only his weight but hers, too. 

She felt it when she hit that sensitive spot that had made him ticklish before. Something like a chuckle rumbled through him and his wing flinched away from her reflexively, but he didn’t pull it out of her hands. That spot was along the side of the bone she’d been tracing, the longer one that nestled into his side when they were furled. She did it again out of curiosity and a shiver ran through him. 

She tried to remember what she’d read about dragon anatomy. But instead she was imagining how it must feel to him. Maybe something like if she were tracing the ridge of his shoulder blade when he was human. 

When she looked back at him, his eyes were still closed, like he was pretending to be asleep. She knew better, though; his breathing was uneven. As much as he was trying to hide it, he was hyper focused on her every move. 

She let her hand trail down his arm until she found one of his huge, rough hands. She picked it up despite his small grumble as his head shifted, and marveled at the largeness of it. The pad of what would be his palm was as big as her face, and the curved ebony claws reminded her so much of the hawks she’d seen in her life that she knew they were deadly. But his were each as long as her entire hand. 

As she set his hand back down, he opened an eye to look at her. She watched the slit of his pupil as it dilated to capture as much light as it could in the gloom of the cave. And the fiery blue that surrounded it was the same as the tuft of hair along his neck and at the tip of his tail. 

She should be frightened. Luka in this form was danger personified. Everything about him should have made her adrenaline spike. Should have made her want to run away or try to fight for her life. 

But as he blinked at her again, probably trying to understand what she was thinking, all she saw was… Luka. The same soul who had promised her mother he would take care of her, who had offered his life to her, who had saved her when she was too small to even know to be afraid. 

No wonder she’d still had dreams of sleeping curled up next to him. When she looked at him, at all of him, all she saw was safety and home. And as he tucked his wing around her like a blanket, she couldn’t imagine a safer place than right next to him. 

***

She grumbled awake when the light hit her eyes the next morning. She’d have to talk to him about getting curtains or something to cover that damn opening while they slept. She curled away from it, trying to press her face into Luka’s scales, but her nose was hitting something warm, and breathing, and...smoother than she expected. 

Her eyes flew open as she realized her lips had touched skin. 

It was later than normal and they’d already switched. Luka was human beside her. His arm was draped around her waist, she was curled up against his chest, and she had just nuzzled into his neck and brushed her lips against the hollow of his throat. She froze, but he was still solidly out, snoring lightly every so often, his arm a heavy weight around her. 

The night before rushed back to her. Fleeing the tower, their long walk, the cave they’d settled into for the night… and Luka. His dark hair was falling over his eyes, and those dark circles had returned after only one night of missed sleep. His lips were parted slightly as he breathed and he looked so peaceful she almost wanted to reach out and touch him if only to make sure he was real.

But she didn’t want to wake him. So as carefully as she could she extracted herself from his embrace and stood to stretch, realizing that all their walking from the past few days had caught up to her. Before she did anything else, she retrieved his stone from where he’d left it and slipped it around his neck so her flames didn’t attract any attention. Or worse, set anything in their temporary shelter aflame. 

They’d need to find food and water, but exploring their new area would have to wait until Luka woke up. For now she settled on taking inventory of what they’d brought with them, munching on a piece of bread from her parents’ bakery as she did. She froze when his lyre fell out, making an awful twang against the cave floor, but Luka only muttered in his sleep and rolled over. 

When she continued searching through the bags, her fingers caught on the leather of his journal. Another glance at Luka proved that he wouldn’t be awake for a while yet; losing sleep as they traveled had hit him harder than her. She walked as close to the entrance of their cave as she dared and sat in the light to read. 

The first few pages were mostly unintelligible. Scribbles and squiggles as Luka struggled with the quill and ink. Then came pages of the alphabet, unsteady at first, and traced over what must’ve been Jagged’s handwriting. The letters got stronger, more confident, and then on the next page, his first written word. Just his name, but she could almost see the pride he must’ve felt in accomplishing that one word. It stood alone on the page. She imagined a young Luka running out to show Jagged his hard work, beaming with the joy of learning a new skill. 

Then other words started to fill the pages. Jagged Stone, fire, bond, wings, rabbit, trap, tower. Naming things around him, sometimes with little drawings that accompanied the word. 

But then she saw the word “bakery.” Her breath caught. That wasn’t a word that Luka would be familiar with unless… 

Underneath that was a sentence. “My bonded lives in a bakery.” 

And as the pages went, she found more little tidbits about her life interspersed between Luka’s practicing. “My bonded has blue eyes.” “My bonded has black hair.” “My bonded likes the color pink.” “My bonded likes flowers.” 

It seemed he’d tried to learn as much about her as he could, but either Jagged never told him her name or Luka never asked because every one of them started with “my bonded.” She wondered if he did it on purpose. It seemed like something he would do. Waiting not only to meet her but to hear her name. 

He’d filled the next page, and it looked like a letter. Addressed to her. She glanced back at him, but he was turned away from her and she couldn’t see his face. She remembered how he’d stiffened when she asked if she could read it before he’d brushed it off as nothing. But he did say she could read it… 

So she did. 

***

To My Bonded,

You probably won’t ever get the chance to read this. I’m not sure why I’m even writing it other than I guess if the worst happens maybe there will be a small piece left of me that I can hope you would come to know.

From what I know of you, I think you might be someone who would listen.

Firstly, I don’t blame you if you’re angry with me. It probably hasn’t been easy on your end and I don’t know how much you’ve been told about our situation. Which is the worse curse, I wonder, knowing everything and waiting to see how it unfolds or knowing nothing and having to make a decision. Either way, I guess it’s really my fault anyways.

As for the second thing. I don’t know that I’ll have the chance to show you so I want you to know. I do care for you. Deeply. Sometimes that scares me because I don’t even know your name. The only thing I remember is seeing your eyes that day I rescued you. When they opened, when I knew you were okay, I was so relieved that I hardly even noticed your eyes were blue until Jagged reminded me years later. But they are, aren’t they? I wonder if they were like that before, or if maybe that’s another part of me that stayed with you.

I’m both dreading and hoping for the day I get to see those eyes again. Maybe when that day comes I can explain myself and apologize and tell you all this in person. Until then.

Yours, Luka

---

Bonded,

I didn’t think I’d write to you again. But Jagged told me today you had a ‘crush’ on someone in your village. A taylers boy, although I don’t know what that means. He told me about the fire too. He didn’t really have to. I felt it. I felt how your heart hurt and I wanted to go to you. Maybe I should have. I was afraid. 

Jagged said you were fine, that you would be fine. But next time I feel that, I’m coming to you. Scared or not.

Yours, Luka

---

Bonded,

I am sick of this place. I’m sick of this tower and sick of the waiting and sick of feeling like I’ll be stuck like this forever. I thought you’d come for me. Aren’t you curious about me? Don’t you know by now what’s happening, why I’m still here, that I’m waiting for you? Or maybe you’re staying away because you know. Maybe you want it to be this way, maybe this is your choice.

I don’t mean that. If you knew I’m sure you’d be here already. I guess I wish I knew how much longer it’s going to be like this. How much longer I’ll be waiting for you.

Yours, Luka

---

Dear Bonded,

I keep writing to you for some strange reason. It’s a sort of comfort, knowing that you’ll probably kill me before you get to read any of this. I’m sure that’s your answer now because your village has started sending men to kill me instead. They come up from your village anyway.

It’s okay. I get it. You’re probably scared of me. The rest of them have been so I can only assume you think the same. I haven’t let them win yet. For now there’s still a small part of me that hopes you don’t know anything about this. That it has nothing to do with you. For now anyways.

Yours, Luka

---

Bonded,

I hate the taste of blood.

Yours, Luka

---

Dearest Bonded,

This is my last letter to you. I can’t keep doing this. The men keep coming. I’ve tried everything to get them to leave me alone, but nothing seems to work. And I’m tired. I know you’re probably not coming. You won’t come. Even if you did, you’d be here to kill me. And I had every intention of giving you that choice, but I’ve made my decision. The next time those men come I’m not fighting anymore.

If you do find this. If you do come for me. I’m sorry. I’ve loved you with every breath.

Yours, Luka 

---

Dearest Bonded,

I’m a coward. Or a fool in love. Either way, I’m still here. I have to have faith in you.

Yours, Luka

***

She jumped when a hand landed on her shoulder. Luka laughed as he sat down behind her, wrapping his arm around her waist to press his chest against her back and lay his head on top of hers.

“Dramatic, wasn’t I?” he asked, still chuckling. As much as she could she swatted at his hand with the journal. 

“You scared me! You shouldn’t come up behind someone like that!” 

“We’re the only ones here, who else did you think it was?” 

Damn him, she could hear his satisfied smirk in his voice. She swatted him again for good measure, even as he pressed a kiss to her hair, but his last two letters were still sharp in her mind. 

“Why’d you stop writing?” she asked, flipping through the many blank pages that were left. She felt him shrug behind her. 

“I didn’t see much point to it, really. Either you’d come and we’d live happily ever after and I could tell you everything myself or… not. And it wasn’t like I ever expected you to want to read it if things went badly.” 

“How long after this…” she started, but she lost her voice halfway through. She had to swallow hard past the lump that was forming to find it again. “How much longer did you have to wait for me?”

He was quiet for a moment and he rubbed his hands up and down her arms, probably trying to soften the blow. 

“It doesn’t matter,” he said softly. 

“It does to me. Luka, if I’d known any of this—why didn’t you let Jagged tell me?” 

He let out another of those soft laughs behind her and his breath ghosted across her neck. “He wanted to. We fought about it a lot. But I figured that would only make you feel… obligated.” 

She thought about that while she stared at his last entry. Of course it was impossible to think what she might’ve done, or how she might’ve felt because she only knew what had happened. The series of events that led her to him. The nightmares and the flames and thinking she was a curse to her family and her village. And up at the tower Luka was dealing with his own nightmare. He’d almost given up hope and when she did come to the tower she’d almost proved him right. 

His arms tightened around her as if he could sense where her thoughts had gone. As if to prove he was okay and it turned out alright. She pressed back against him and could feel his heartbeat thudding steadily through her own chest. Maybe he was right. Maybe it didn’t matter. They were together now. That’s what she’d told him. To stop blaming himself for what happened. She didn't blame him for anything and at the very least he'd already forgiven her, too. 

She turned in his arms and slid her hand behind his neck to pull his face down to hers. As she pressed her lips to his, it felt like a promise. A promise that he’d never have to be apart from her like that again, bond or not. 

He melted against her and for a moment they were both lost in each other, in the knowledge that in this moment they were safe and together and that was all that mattered. 

[iknowyouthinkimbulletproof]

18- Ashton Irwin

A/N: another 5sos fic! Ashton Irwin x y/n. Y/n’s gender is female for this fic, it just made it easier to write, my apologies to anyone it might upset, but you can always request. Feel free to correct any mistakes! Requested by @suchalonelysunflower​ for my writing challenge: Lizza my darling, for the writing challenge I shall ask the song 18 by One Direction and any of the 5sos boys ❤️ my heart needs fluffy/angst or whatever you chose to do 💕🦋. i was supposed to post it a while ago...whoops.  *=song lyrics 

not my gif

1535 words

-

*I got a heart and I got a soul

Believe me, I will use them both

We made a start, be it a false one I know

Baby, I don't want to feel alone*

For as long as they can remember, Ashton and y/n were always parts of each other's lives. Their mothers had become friends around their time of pregnancy since y/n’s mother had just moved in next door. Despite that, Ash and y/n barely talked. When they were 10, Ash had scared her off by bullying her. It wasn’t intentional, he just had a crush on her and like most young boys, he became slightly rude towards her till it progressed to the point where he was seen as a bully.

It wasn’t until they were 17 that they became close. y/n’s father, who wasn’t really in the picture, had passed. It hit her hard. Though they were never close, when he passed y/n realized that even if she wanted to fix her relationship with her father, it was too late.  Ashton knew what it was like to grow up without a father, so he took her under his wing. The first couple months together Ash had tried to get her to go out more often and join some clubs at school, but she refused. Soon their friendship grew to the point where they felt most happiest next to each other.

When Ashton joined the band, 5 seconds of summer, he begged y/n to meet the boys. It took until their third performance together for y/n to meet them. Though she was closed off most of the time, she had grown slightly close to Ash's old band member in “swallow the goldfish”. She didn’t want to get close to them if they weren’t going to be in their lives for long. Seeing as the boys of 5sos were younger, she didn’t think that Ash would be there for long. Especially since Micheal had only asked him to join because they needed a drummer for their first jig. 

After the band had taken off, Ash had asked y/n to go on tour with them. She did, and while there she grew even closer to Ash. she got to know him more, she helped him through everything and never questioned when he needed a shoulder to cry on.

*So kiss me where I lay down

My hands pressed to your cheeks

A long way from the playground*

Their first kiss was magical, but they pretended it never happened. Ash and the guys had just gotten to the hotel after a performance. It was their first concert for the Youngblood tour and the excitement had gotten to him. He wanted to see y/n, so he rushed his goodbyes to the guys and rushed to the elevator. Of course she had gone to the show, but she had some work to catch up on. She wasn't a teen anymore. She had a job, it was pure luck that when she went in to ask for a week or so off that her boss was in a good mood. He walked in on her lying in bed, computer open next to her.

“Procrastinating?” he asked, spooking her as he leaned on the wall. 

“I guess you could call it that.” she teased “ i finished most of it, but i can’t seem to figure out the rest of it and i’d rather do it with a big cup of coffee in the morning.” 

“Well, I'm happy you’re done for the night. Only because that means I get to binge watch criminal minds with you.” It had been a long day, nothing could be better than watching a show and eating a big meal with your best friend. “What did you want to order?”

“Well there’s room service, but i’ve been craving chinese food for a while.” she answered while pausing the Grey’s anatomy and looking up at him.

“Guess it’s chinese then.” he winked and pushed himself off the wall. Shoes were thrown off and a big jump was made onto the bed. “The usual?” He questioned, not noticing that she was staring.

“Yep, and-”

“-Don’t forget the egg rolls” he interrupted as he typed into his phone. She blushed. She knew that he knew her well, but sometimes even the little things can make her heart beat faster than if she were to go skydiving. Focusing her attention back onto the laptop, she figured now would be the best time to change the show. 

After dinner they laid on the bed, computer in between them, season 8 of criminal minds playing. As the fifth episode they watch that night ends, Ash looks over at her. She felt the stares, so she looked over. Before anything could be spoken, he places his hand on her cheek and brings her closer. y/n’s breathing picks up speed. Once their lips met, their eyes shut. y/n leaned closer, fingers inching towards the back of his head and pulling slighting on the hair that was at the beginning of his neck. The kiss was passionate. In the movies, they always describe first kisses like fireworks. This was better. It was as if the whole world disappeared. Or as if they have finally been able to hold something that seems too far away, but just as fast as the kiss started...it ended. In a matter of seconds whatever it was they held in their grasp, it was gone. 

They pulled away and Ash started mumbling to himself. He left the room, leaving his shoes and phone. That night y/n cried, all night. Her protector was gone and her heart was shattered. He shattered it. 

The day afterwards, she went to Ash and Calum’s room. Ashton was still asleep, so Calum opened the door. She gave him Ash’s belongings and then went down to breakfast. When the band joined her, the pair of forbidden lovers acted like normal. They joked around and the boys didn’t suspect a thing.

*And all I can do is say that these arms were made for holding you

And I wanna love like you made me feel

When we were eighteen*

Now, in 2020, both Ashton and y/n were in quarantine….on opposite sides of town. It had been forever since they last saw each other. It had given them time to grow separately and to think about what they really wanted. y/n knew for years that what she wanted was Ash. she knew the moment he walked into her home asking if she needed anything. It was a lot of work throughout these months for her to figure out that what she needed was him. She had him, but not fully, not the way she wanted. During the months of 2020, Ashton had gone through a break up. It didn’t hurt him as much as he thought. As much as anyone thought. If he was being honest with himself, it didn’t hurt at all. Ash used his time off making music. Some of which anyone could listen to. Specific songs though, they were meant for one person. y/n. He had never been the best at expressing his feelings, unless it was through music. 

That led him to where he is currently. Sitting at his desk, listening to the song he wrote for her, over and over again. He was going to send it, he had to. He wanted her completely. He wanted her in his arms, like she was meant to be. He press sent, then waited. He only took his eyes off the screen, to grab water. He waited, but nothing ever came. Nothing but the word “seen”. He sent another message to clarify that it was to her...and about her. After about half an hour, tears started to pour down his face, the anxiety won. He broke down. 

When y/n received the text she just finished showering. It had been sent 5 minutes ago. She sat and listened to the melody that played after pressing the link he had sent. Going back to the messages, she wanted to compliment the song, she saw the new text he had sent. Tears started to fall down her eyes, but they were tears of joy. Instead of texting back, she rushed up and grabbed her keys. She needed to see him just as much as she needed air.

When she arrived, her legs became like that of a cat’s. Fast. she knocked on the door, listening to her thumping heart. The door opens. Everything clicks together perfectly, all initiated by y/n.. First their eyes, then their hands, and finally their lips. It took a second for Ash to realize what was happening and when he did the kiss took a turn. It turned sloppy and desperate, somehow the passion could still be felt. Ashton pulled her inside the house by her waist, closing the door with his foot and pressing her onto it. They pull away, still close with their breaths mixing together.

“I love you” y/n whispers tugging his hair again.

“I have loved you since we were 18” 

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 16X17

I really liked this episode! My favourites are always the faster paced ones. Last week’s episode was soul crushing so it was nice this week to have an episode that didn’t make me feel like I’d come face to face with a dementor. The episode begins with a nice opening conversation between Meredith and Amelia that establishes where a bunch of the characters are at. We see that Meredith and Jo are crushed by Alex’s sudden departure and Amelia is shocked. Meredith spends most of the episode treating a patient who’s diabetic and has been rationing her insulin. We find out that she’s been rationing because she’s just had to put her parents in assisted living and that’s not cheap so she’s been doing a bunch of gig economy freelance work to make ends meet. She’s super nice and likeable so of course she dies!

Meredith obviously feels for her and works very hard to treat her and save her life. She’s distraught at her death and expresses her anger once again at how screwed up the U.S. Medical System is and how unfair it is that rich people get whole floors to themselves without even asking just because they’re rich, when nice good people like her patient die from trying to do the right thing and take care of their parents. I like that they’ve continued with the storyline of Meredith fighting against a broken system and working to try and make things better for those who can’t afford it and do her part. It’s interesting to watch and makes some really important points along the way. We find out that Jo is still sleeping on Link’s couch and for most of this episode they are feeling very sorry for themselves and are hating on love. They especially don’t like PDA or the amount of it at the train station in the morning. I mean I don’t either, but clearly they have more issues than I do.

They spend most of the episode wallowing, but towards the end Jo gets inspired. She tells Link that she’s been trying so hard to hate Alex but it just isn’t working because she keeps seeing daily reminders of how much he loved her. She’s mad at him, she’s angry, but she doesn’t hate him. I don’t think that Alex threw Jo away like trash, but I do get where Jo is coming from. That line felt a bit harsh, but at the same time Jo has been abandoned and tossed aside a lot in her life. I loved her line about how Alex loving her the way that he did made her realize that she is worthy of that kind of love and that truth is hers to keep and that she is going to rise so high that Alex will look like a fool for leaving her. I hope she does rise. I’ve really come to like Jo in the last couple of seasons and I don’t want to see her go down a dark path again. I also loved her speech to Link about not letting love pass you by.

Link tries to object and say that Amelia pushed him away, but Jo corrects him and says that Amelia is scared and hormonal and that if he loves her, which she knows he does, he shouldn’t let love pass him by. She tells him to stop being an idiot and go do something about it because everything can change in a second. He takes her advice and goes to see Amelia. He stands in the rain on her porch and says that he tried to write her a love song, but he doesn’t write songs, but that he loves her and the baby and he doesn’t want to be alone and miserable if he doesn’t have to. Amelia asks him if this is truly what he wants and if he truly wants her and the baby regardless of who the biological father is. Links says that he does. That he loves her and wants her.

Amelia rushes forward and kisses him and hugs him and tells him that she’s glad because she loves him too and she took the test. She holds up her phone. The baby is Link’s!!!! Gosh I’m so happy for them! I’m also really happy this ‘who’s the father’ storyline is over because they dragged that on way too long! I’m glad that Link decided that he wanted Amelia and the baby regardless of whether or not the child was biologically his and that it turned out that he was in fact the father and that Amelia loves him and wants to be with him too.

I hated Amelia as a character for a very long time because I found her insufferable, but even when that was going on there’s no denying she’s been through a lot! Post-brain tumour I really like Amelia as a character. She’s fun to watch, Caterina is a great actress who plays her with amazing range, and I love her and Link together. After all she has been through, she deserves good things. I’m glad that she finally seems to be getting some. I’m surprised that we haven’t seen Meredith and Jo interact much since Alex’s departure storyline began. We keep getting conversations that imply that they’ve talked and they are friends, but we haven’t actually seen them interact since the mid-season premiere. I’m hoping that now that Amelia and Link are back together we’ll start to see them hanging out more and leaning on each other and talking about Alex.

On the other side of this equation we have Owen and Teddy and now Tom and Maggie being put in the middle where she does not want to be! Why does someone who hates secrets keep getting put in the middle of their mess? Also why does Teddy keep putting her there? I mean Maggie’s been pretty clear she wants no part of this mess from the moment Teddy showed up pregnant so why does Teddy keep revealing information to her that she clearly does not want to have? They are not friends and Amelia is Maggie’s sister. Teddy needs to find someone new to confide in I think. Any who, thanks to an extremely awkward elevator ride we find out that after that shocking kiss two weeks ago Teddy slept with Tom. She hasn’t told Owen who is blissfully unaware and doesn’t understand why Teddy wants to hire a wedding planner instead of planning the dream wedding she’s always wanted with him herself.

At first she tells Tom that the whole thing was a mistake and tries to blow him off. Then Maggie asks to speak to her because the tension was so thick in that elevator you could have cut it with a knife and even Maggie, who’s known for being super oblivious, could feel it. She’s worried that things are now bad between Teddy and Owen because she told Teddy that she’s not crazy to think that Amelia’s baby might be Owen’s and wants to clear the air. Instead Teddy chooses to tell her that she slept with Tom, give her information that she does not want or need to know, and puts her smack dab in the middle of the drama that Teddy has created for herself. Maggie wants no part of it and immediately regrets asking what was going on. Throughout the episode Teddy avoids Owen until he confronts her about it. Instead of telling him that she slept with Tom and is having doubts about their relationship she instead tells him that she thinks Amelia’s baby might be his.

Owen doesn’t know what to do with this information and freezes. Can’t blame him for that honestly. Teddy takes this to mean that he’s still in love with Amelia and storms off. Later, she runs into Maggie at the OR Board. She tells her that she told Owen the truth. Maggie is instantly relieved as she thinks she’s talking about her and Tom. But then Teddy corrects her. Maggie is furious. Teddy goes off and says a bunch of horrible things about Amelia and her toying with people’s emotions. She ends her tirade with, “I was just starting to really like her.” To which Maggie responds, “And I was just really starting to like you.” Iconic. That was such a mic drop! Maggie is here for none of Teddy’s hypocrisy or her dragging of her sister in front of her nuh uh! She tells Teddy as much and reminds her how long she waited to tell Owen that she was pregnant with a baby she knew for sure was his and how she behaved and all the lies that she told. Teddy is remorseful and apologizes for dragging Amelia to which Maggie responds, “That’s my sister you’re talking about,” and sashays away because truth.

I’d like to point out here that Amelia actually hasn’t done anything wrong. I didn’t like Amelia much until recently so I would be the first person to point out if she was, but she’s not. All she’s done at this point is wait to get some test results. That’s it. Her and Owen split up and a short while later she got together with Link and then a short while after that she found out she was pregnant. She went forward on the assumption that the baby was Link’s and they began building a life together because she had no reason to think otherwise. Yes, she should have gotten an ultrasound and had the tests run earlier, but after everything that happened with her son Christopher and her fiancée Ryan I understand why she didn’t. Shortly after she found out that she was further along than she thought she told Link. She didn’t tell Owen because at that point, until she’d had the test, there was nothing to tell.

She should not have toyed with Link’s feelings the way that she did, but it was also pretty clear that she wasn’t feeling well emotionally or physically and wasn’t thinking clearly. Also, at that point the issues she was having were between her and Link as a couple. She didn’t tell Owen because a) she wasn’t in her right mind and b) she didn’t want to mess things up for him and Teddy over something that might not even be an issue. And as it turns out that was the right call to make because it’s not an issue. This week Amelia came out of her funk. Maggie and Meredith as her loving sisters helped her back on her feet and she got through it. She returned to work and moved forward determined to raise her baby with her sisters who love her unconditionally. During this time she also got the paternity results back.

The baby is Link’s and not Owen’s which means there is absolutely no reason to involve Owen or Teddy in this mess at all. Their only point of connection or contact at this point is about co-parenting Leo and that’s fine. Both of them seem happy with that. Teddy kept acting in this episode like Amelia had done something to her. Like her actions were all Amelia’s fault which simply isn't true. Amelia didn’t do anything to Teddy or Owen and Teddy never even talked to her. She went and talked to Maggie. Who told her that what she was fearing was a possibility and that’s it and then instead of talking to Owen about her fears or Amelia about her concerns she went and slept with Tom. That’s on her and nobody else as Maggie was quick to point out. Speaking of Tom he got an interesting storyline this episode. He spent most of it treating a tech billionaire who was convinced there was something wrong with him because he made a critical error with the calculations for a rocket launch that exploded over a gas station.

He’s a patron of the Catherine Fox Foundation and seems to be an old friend or at least acquaintance of Tom’s. Because he’s there a whole hospital floor gets shut down for him which backs up the ER and patient care on the ground floor. Tom pages Meredith to assess the guy and she is not happy at all. Her patient is sick because she’s had to ration her insulin and this guy gets a whole floor when there’s nothing actually wrong with him? Yeah no. Meredith Grey is not here for that. Not by a long shot. She speaks her mind and tells them as much. Then she passes the case off to Jackson so she can get back to her patient because as she says, “Your Mom, your mess.” But Jackson can’t find anything wrong with him either so the case reverts back to Tom again. Tom panders to the guy all episode because of what he believes he can do for humanity. It turns out in the end the guy knows that there’s nothing with him medically, but he wants Tom to say that there is in exchange for a donation so that he won’t have to go to jail and can keep trying to solve the world’s problems.

Tom has to decide whether or not to take the money and he spends the rest of the episode labouring over the decision. After Meredith’s patient dies in the OR he comes to talk to her to ask her advice in a roundabout way. She tells him she’s not in the mood to babysit a billionaire and to take a hike. He asks what she would do if she had his money. She says she’d use it to help people who couldn’t otherwise afford or access the care they needed and riles off a list of projects and solutions that she’d implement if she could. This causes Tom to have an epiphany. Meredith would use the money for good. He asks her as an award winning rule breaker how she decides what rules to break and which ones to follow. She tells him she follows her gut and just has to hope that whatever good comes out of what she is doing is worth the risk. As a result, Tom decides to take the money, but makes it conditional on the size of the cheque the Foundation and the hospital will be getting.

I liked this storyline. It’s the kind of morally complex dilemma that’s fun to watch and raises good points that there are no right or wrong answers to. I spent the whole episode chanting ‘Don’t take the money’ every time this issue came up, but in the end I understand why he took it. He does care and he does want to do good and he realizes that ultimately if he doesn’t take the money someone else will. The difference is Tom is a part of the Catherine Fox Foundation and can dole out money at Grey Sloan to people who can actually use that money to make a difference. People who actually care and want to do the right thing and help people who otherwise wouldn’t get treatment or the care that they so desperately need and deserve. Meredith is one of those people and from talking to her he can see directly how within his own hospital he could take that hush money and turn it into something good that would honestly help people who need it. And as long as he doesn’t tell Meredith or anyone else the circumstances surrounding the donation they can use it to do good without being liable or compromised.

So he takes the money to try to do something good out of something bad. We’ll have to wait and see how this plays out, but I for one am excited. Tom is a very complex and layered character and for me that’s what makes him so fun to watch! So that’s what Tom is up to in his professional life this episode. Then there’s he’s personal life. After getting blown off by Teddy at the beginning of the episode she comes to see him at the end of the day. Tom’s in his office, it’s nighttime, and the office is dark. Teddy comes in and apologizes for her behaviour earlier in the day and says she’s sorry for using him. She then proceeds to talk on about what a good man Tom is and how much Owen loves her. Tom is not interested in that and he tells her so. She’s wrong. He’s not a good man and he really doesn't want to hear about how in love her and Owen are and who can blame him? Who wants to hear the person they are in love with but can’t be with wax poetic about how great they are and how much they are in love with someone else?

But then this scene takes an even weirder turn because Tom goes to leave and Teddy is blocking the door. He leans in and kisses her. She turns away so he tilts her face up and kisses her again. She starts kissing him back, they lock the door, and it’s implied that they have carry on and have sex. There is so much to talk about here wow. First off, this scene takes a one night stand and a stupid mistake and turns it into a full blown affair. Getting freaked out and sleeping with someone one time and regretting it is something many people can and I think in some cases should forgive. But actively making the choice to sleep with someone more than once while you are engaged and raising children with someone else is a different story. That’s an affair. I also think that there’s an interesting parallel between the first time and the second time. Because the first time Teddy comes to see Tom at his hotel she kisses him and then he pulls back and it looks like he’s going to stop her, but then he leans in hungrily and kisses her back. To me this showed that Tom had reservations and knew it was wrong because she’s with Owen, but then decided to go for it because he’s so in love with her he just can’t help himself.

For Teddy’s part she seemed desperate and upset and I felt like she took advantage of how in love with her he is. The second time is different though because Tom initiates this time. He walks up and kisses her and then she turns her head away and then he pulls her back in and that’s when she reciprocates. I don’t think Tom should have done that, but on the other hand Teddy knew exactly what she was getting into. She showed up at his darkened office late at night and waxed poetic about what a great guy he was and how much Owen loved her and how broken she is and conflicted and confused. And she did all of this while actively blocking the door. In order to leave the room Tom would have to ask her to move out of the way. That is not how you stand or where you stand if you just want to apologize to someone. She also overstayed her welcome. She could have just apologized, said goodnight, and gone home to her fiancée.

Instead she showed up at his office, blocked the door with her body, and kissed him back. At this point Tom and Teddy have gone from two people who are taking advantage of each other to two people knowingly and willingly having an affair. And honestly, as a viewer I’m kind of here for it. I think it’s awful, but I also think it’s interesting to watch. I also think there’s a good chance they are going to stretch this out and have the truth come out in the finale. I’m also curious as to what’s going on with Teddy. She was absent from several episodes because she was sick with a cold and the kids got sick too and then she shows back up and is having second thoughts about her relationship with Owen, worrying about Amelia’s baby, and starts having an affair with Tom. Clearly something is going on with her as she’s behaving really erratically and seems very lost and confused. I also think it’s interesting that she’s now finally experiencing the fallout from her past actions and inaction with regards to Owen. She watched him stay engaged to Beth even though they weren’t a good fit and she hated her and did nothing. She watched him marry Cristina and abuse her and did nothing.

He then married Amelia and abused her and again she did nothing. She turned him down both times when he wanted to be with her when he was still with Cristina and Amelia. She lied to him about being pregnant and watched him choose Amelia over her again. She got into a wonderful loving relationship with Tom as a result and then broke his heart and got back together with Owen because he made her feel passion like no one else. Now she has everything she has ever wanted. She has Owen. He finally picked her. They are engaged. They are co-parenting two children together. Beth is long gone. Cristina is happily living her life in Switzerland. Amelia is happily co-parenting Leo with Owen, just got back together with Link, and is having a baby with him. They found Megan. She’s okay. She has a wonderful life with Nathan and her son in California. She’s finally gotten everything she’s always wanted and now the ramifications of not doing anything all those years has finally caught up to her.

She said nothing and did nothing when he passed her over and repeatedly choose other women over her and now that she has him she can’t shake the feeling that he’s still in love with them, Amelia specifically because she’s in Seattle and having a baby, and so she’s cheating on him with Tom out of panic. Or maybe she’s trying to hurt him first before he can hurt her again I don’t know. I also love how Teddy said nothing all those years and supported Owen when he did all of that terrible stuff and now it’s biting her in the ass. Not because Owen doesn’t love her. Not because he’s not committed to her. But because psychologically she can’t shake the feeling that he’s in love with all these other women, one of whom she has to work with every day, because he is and always will be. Beth, Cristina, and Amelia had to deal with the fact that Owen was in love with Teddy the entire time they were together and eventually its part of what tore them apart.

Now Teddy’s getting a taste of her own medicine and she does not like it. She doesn’t seem to know what to do about it either. So instead of talking to Owen about her feelings or seeing a therapist or going to talk to Amelia or calling Cristina up she’s having an affair. She’s having an affair with a man who loved and supported her when Owen choose Amelia over her and found her the perfect apartment for her, rented it, and then built her a crib for a baby that wasn’t even his. The woman’s got issues. Also I would love to see the conversation Meredith will be having with Cristina and Amelia about this nonsense when it all comes out. I can hear Cristina cackling from here. She called it in that parking lot all those years ago and Amelia called it at that party and Meredith called before each of their weddings. Owen and Teddy are a hot ass mess that don’t seem to know that they are a hot ass mess. I also love how Teddy has taken Tom from a loving involved partner to a hot hookup in two seasons. What the hell?

In other news, Richard is not doing well at all! Bailey runs into him in a hallway yelling at some movers. Catherine had all of his office stuff from Pac North brought to Grey Sloan and he is not having it. Richard says he doesn’t want it and Bailey says she’ll take care of it. A while later she pages him and we see that in an effort to help him feel better has had all of his old office stuff from Grey Sloan moved up from the basement. Bailey thinks this will help, but it doesn’t. Richard loses it and yells that what he wants is an empty office. Bailey says she’ll take care of it, but Richard says he’ll do it himself. Later Bailey comes to see him. He’s sitting in his empty office with only two chairs in it. He apologizes for the way he acted and says that he’s decided to step away from surgery and focus on his Path Pen and other medical innovations. Bailey is distraught and wants to know why. Richard refuses to tell her about his hand and instead says that he wants to go out on top and would like her support.

After we find Bailey and Meredith in the Attending’s Lounge. Meredith is miserable because her patients has died and at times like this Alex was always the one to cheer up with gallows humour. She says she misses him and doesn’t know how to do this without him or if she wants to. Bailey talks about how after that speech that Richard gave on their first day as interns she envisioned herself as the last one standing. She thought it would feel great, but then when Callie left and moved to New York she said it just felt lonely. Meredith thinks she’s talking about her and Alex, but she’s not. She tells her about Richard’s decision and now they’re both lonely together. I really liked Meredith’s comments here because Alex’s departure raises some interesting questions for her. Meredith moved back to Seattle because Ellis got sick and she stayed because she came to love working there and all of the people she loved most, her friends and later her family, were there. The other characters always wanted to move on, but she never did. It also brings up the question of if she’s going to move where does she move to? Moving to Switzerland or somewhere in Europe moves her closer to Cristina but farther away from Alex and all of her loved ones in Seattle. Moving to Kansas or somewhere near there moves her closer to Alex, but farther away from Seattle and Cristina.

It’s a Catch 22. No matter where she goes she’s moving closer to someone and farther away from someone else. That’s the issue that Meredith seems to be grappling with right now and I’ll be interested to see how it plays out. In other news, DeLuca has recovered from giving himself frostbite and it looks like Jackson was able to save his hands. Because of his off the wall behaviour Bailey has suspended his operating privileges. He’s now in mandated counselling with a therapist and can’t operate or treat patients until she signs off on him. She hasn’t because as we see in this episode DeLuca has taken no responsibility for his actions and is still in complete denial. He talks to her about how if he’d behaved differently those patients would have died. Which is both true and not true. Him giving Suzanne the drugs and going to get the liver saved those patients’ lives that’s true. That’s not in question. No one is questioning that. The problem is how he did it. He gave Suzanne the drugs without talking to Meredith about what he was doing in a manner that could have killed her if Meredith had already restarted the drug regiment. In order to retrieve the liver he voluntarily went out into a blizzard in below freezing temperatures without gloves on, gave himself frostbite, and almost lost his fingers in the process. That’s the problem.

He tells his therapist he’s not manic or experiencing any signs of mania. As his therapist points out if he didn’t think that was a possibility he wouldn’t be mentioning it. On some level, he knows he’s not well but he can’t admit it outright and that’s the problem. In the meantime, Bailey is having him transport patients and do menial tasks around the hospital that need doing. This is actually a pretty good idea as the hospital is currently over staffed in certain departments and understaffed in others and it allows the hospital to cover its ass. My guess is that they’re building to some big blow up where he’s going to wind up killing or severely injuring a patient or himself. I’m hoping they’re going to wrap this storyline up soon as I don’t care for DeLuca as a character, but there’s a chance that they’ll draw it out to the season finale.

Oh and just when you thought DeLuca couldn’t possibly be more of an ass than he already is? Hold onto your hats people because yes apparently he can! Before the episode ends we see Jo drinking a beer at Joe’s Bar. DeLuca walks up to her with a shot he bought for her that she clearly does not want and proceeds to completely trash Alex and call him an idiot and suggest that they take away each other’s pain and go to bed together! Jo is having none of this and clearly wants to be left alone. He says that Alex doesn’t respect her and that Meredith doesn’t respect him. He then reaches out to grab her chin and try to kiss her and that’s when Jo finally loses it and tosses that drink right in his big stupid face! Go Jo GO! Yes Jo! Slay! I cheered! 

Jo tells him that he’s not okay and he’s not acting like himself. That you need to listen to people when they tell you that and get help before it’s too late. She then grabs the beer she bought for herself and her purse and walks away. Oh my god! This scene made me scream with rage! There were a lot of people speculating that the writers would put Jo and Link together or Jo and DeLuca together and this episode squashed all of that and I’m so happy! DeLuca is such an ass! This scene makes me cringe just looking at it. Also, what is with DeLuca and the ‘no respect thing’ and comparing himself to men way out of his league? First Derek and now Alex. What the hell? DeLuca’s a resident who hasn’t picked a speciality and can barely do his job. Derek was a world class top 10 neurogod! Alex is the country’s best peds surgeon and an incredible doctor. 

He’s not on their level, he never will be, and no one respects him because he doesn’t respect himself and can’t do his job. Also, who does that? Who hits on someone and buys them a drink they didn’t ask for when their husband just left them for their ex-wife to live on a farm in Kansas because they found out that they had two kids they never knew they had? DeLuca apparently. Also, Jo totally called or texted or went to see Meredith and told her about this nonsense the first chance she got. As soon as she sobered up she told her because Queens support Queens. I think this scene also really speaks to Jo’s character as DeLuca behaves like a complete monster and in response she tells he’s not well and to get the help that he needs. Even when someone is hurting her she’s still trying to help them. The resilience. I stan. Oh and in other news Vic and Jackson broke up. I didn’t care for them as a couple and I honestly don’t care that they broke up. I’m totally apathetic on this one. 

Until next time!fjacks

[fountainpenguin]

Do you have any more information on the "Aspen incident" that's been mentioned in a few of your pixie fics? I'm kinda curious to find out what exactly happened but when I search the name Aspen on your blog nothing comes up

Ooh, Aspen’s fun. I worked it out and you technically have all the information you need to answer that question, but it’s all scattered across different pieces because you’re not supposed to know yet. We don’t get to Aspen’s plot for a long time.

I will not give the answer directly, but I will help you out by collecting some hints in this post. Aspen is someone who was associated with some pixies in an ambiguous pre-series time period. He is not alive yet in Origin or Knots, but we will see him towards the end (in both stories). Here are some things Sanderson mentioned about him in Prompt 14, “Minion”- 

1)

“I haven’t been forced from a gyne since the incident with Aspen.”

2)

“Our arrangement would only be temporary. But then again, so is my arrangement with the Head Pixie.”

As I stripped away my shirt, I tried to remember who had planted such treacherous thoughts in my head. Were they all mine, or were they what was left of Aspen’s influence, acting up now that I was here in the Pink Castle again, the very place where I had come to know him so well? It seemed like Aspen would have been in understandable favor of Longwood over any other figure…

Here is what Longwood had to say about him in Pink and Gray:

1)

“Dear dust,” he says, “I’m obsessed.”

“With yourself?”

“With children.”

Rosencrantz doesn’t know how to respond to this. Rosencrantz is pretty sure Longwood has confessed to something illegal.

“Not like that,” Longwood clarifies, always one step ahead of the younger pixie and gleaning his thoughts. With a thought and a twitch of the ballpoint pen he uses as a wand, he pings a small picture into his free hand. The frame is dented, the glass shattered long ago. It’s not even a real photograph–only a crayon drawing. A child’s crayon drawing. Longwood hunkers into the chair anyway, caressing the picture with his eyes while holding the shaking chocolate mug to his mouth. He says, “I’m obsessed with that–that shadowman you used to call a mentor.”

“Sanderson?” Rosencrantz presses him cautiously. […]

“I saved his life, Rosebud. You wouldn’t remember. It was long ago. Centuries before you were born, I traded the one I held most dear to save that snotlick’s life, and I pine after him even now. You didn’t know Aspen. But I did. I had the chance. I could have chosen to save what I wanted most. What does that make me feel?”

2)

At this, Longwood bends his head, his wings jolting every few beats. He sinks a little closer to the sidewalk. “H.P., I–You owe me for Aspen.”

“I owe you for what you chose to do to Aspen?”

Longwood looks away. It’s an insult. He shouldn’t have asked.

“Sir, it wasn’t a choice. I had to. It was his fate. If I'd–If I’d tried to protect Aspen, Sanderson would have died. And…”

This pause is tenser.

“And that’s your fault. Isn’t it, sir?”

[…]

Longwood’s fists grow tighter, not looser. He does not raise his head. “I let go of Aspen for you, H.P.”

“Pretend that Sanderson is Aspen, and start enjoying his company,” the Head Pixie says. Stepping off the sidewalk, he circles Longwood and continues on his way.

“Sir,” he says, whisking after his boss, “please.”

“What’s the issue? Sanderson and Aspen have a lot in common. They both enjoy cheese and crackers. They both play with their food.”

Now it’s insulting. “Sir–”

“They favor gingertie wands. They do enjoy their music.”

“Please–”

“And this one’s a gimme, but you know how fond they both are of water.”

“Stop it!”

Longwood isn’t aware that his own ipewood wand is out of its sheath until it’s pointed at the back of his boss’s head. H.P. slows. He turns, the metal star on the dangling tail of his hat ringing out in the silent night like a bell on a bobtail. He’s amused, not upset. When his eyes glint, they seem to cast a sheen across his glasses as a whole. Longwood suddenly realizes his mistake, and jerks his hand down.

“Sir, I–I didn’t mean to–” He grabs for his face and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Ní larki… Please don’t make jokes about water at Aspen’s expense, sir. He gets night terrors. Calming him down is embarrassing. And if Sanderson ever knew Aspen was still…”

3)

“I liked your singing,” Betty told him. “You sing very well.”

Longwood glanced over at her, pulling Kenny’s blankets up to his shoulder. “Thank you for your response. I wasn’t sure I would. It’s been centuries since I’ve sung to a child.” He picked a large plush shark up from the nightstand and tucked it under Kenny’s arm. Kenny snuggled up to it and instantly went right back to sleep.

“Do you have kids?” She hoped he’d say yes. She hadn’t seen any pixie kids yet. True, Sanderson said she and Gary couldn’t live in Pixie World forever or else they’d run out of air to breathe, but Betty hoped they’d visit enough that she could make friends with some pixie kids. Did her Earth friends think she was dead? H.P. had made it sound like they did, or would soon enough. She couldn’t go back to Kansas. No more friends. No more family. No more horses. No more softball. No more school. Betty was trying not to think about that.

“I… had a kid, yes,” Longwood said. “He’s gone.”

“Where does he live now?”

Longwood looked at her more seriously. “I mean, he’s gone. He isn’t ever coming back.”

“Oh. That kind of gone.” Betty looked again at the shark he’d given Kenny. “So is that a dead person’s toy?”

“Aspen’s not dead,” Longwood snapped, and Betty jumped at the shoulders. He inhaled through his teeth. “My apologies for startling you, but I always have to express my disagreement when people state that. Aspen isn’t entirely dead. He’s still in there. I can recognize tells of it sometimes. He’s just… not as alive as he could be.” He scratched his wrist, long nails scraping his skin. “I’m sorry. Aspen was my baby. I know it was highly unprofessional of me, but I grew attached to him.”

Kenny stirred in the bed, but didn’t get up. “I’d be so sad if anything happened to Kenny,” Betty murmured. “I’m sorry. Did someone kidnap Aspen? Or did he run away?”

“No. No, he didn’t run!” Longwood’s throat briefly strangled his voice. “He was so trusting. Sanderson cornered him, and he didn’t even–think–when I saw–No.” He shook his head. “No. You would need a full lesson in Fairykind anatomy to understand exactly what happened, Ms. Betty. It’s black magic stuff. I’m sorry. Anything involving Aspen is very difficult for me to discuss, and I would prefer not to breach the subject with a child I just met, you realize.”

(Note - Black magic is performed by doctors. It’s surgery magic.)

That’s all you “officially” know right now, but you’re about to get some really juicy stuff in Origin.

Solve For Aspen

More hints about Aspen’s identity and what’s coming in Origin of the Pixies:

- Technically you’ve already met “Aspen,” but he does not use this name in public. You’ve seen him in a lot of Prompts and some other stories, but not yet in Origin or Knots.

- The life-giving organ in Fae is called the core. It is left behind when a Fae dies (Think about Anti-Cosmo finding Fairy cores on the road in “Tangled Threads”). A firstborn’s core is different from the core of a second-born (It has extra layers of magic around it). Pixies are infected with the bacteria Wolbachia pipientis, meaning they are genetically identical; Sanderson, being H.P.’s firstborn, has a firstborn core.

- Cores take on shapes specific to the individual (For instance, H.P.’s is a laser cannon, Wanda’s is a radar, and Sanderson’s is a pencil sharpener).

- Longwood was born in the Year of Leaves on the Fae zodiac. Aspen was not. So why is Aspen named after a tree?

- Think about what Finley has around his neck. We see him wearing it as an adult in “All I Ever Wanted” but not as a kid in “Evolution Hopeful” or “This Is a Box.” What could it be and why would he start wearing this thing at that age? Why Finley? What’s different about his life compared to all the other pixies?

- Sanderson and Longwood got in an argument during the “Grooming” Prompt. What exact words does Sanderson use in this scene? Why do they affect Longwood so strongly and why does Sanderson feel guilty?

- Where was Sanderson in “Minion” when he started thinking about Aspen? What unique qualities do we know this location has?

- Think about some settings we’ve visited in Origin of the Pixies that explicitly have special qualities. I foreshadowed a location in Chapter 3 (“Love Struck Out”). It comes up again later. Why did H.P. go out of his way to visit in that later chapter and what did he want to do? Why did I think it was important enough to foreshadow?

HINT: It’s near the beginning because it’s also near the end

- Try to remember if there’s a Prompt that struck you as really, really odd… Something that described special location qualities.

- In that Prompt, there were four people who could sense something. One of them showed up late and did not volunteer the same information as the other three. Who was it and what can we not confirm because they stayed silent? What could be happening off-screen during that odd Prompt?

- Sanderson flinched when the Fairy Elder went to touch him in “Minion.” Look at that encounter and focus on what he’s saying. What does he look at and what do you know about that thing?

HINT: Cross-reference with what Anti-Cosmo says about the Fairy Elder in the Frayed Knots chapter “If She Hollers.” Take his words literally.

- Knowing what you know about Pixies and the Fairy Elder, what would you guess triggered the plot in the “really, really odd” Prompt mentioned above?

HINT: Sanderson uses a certain phrase in “Grooming” that also appears in the odd Prompt. What does he describe with that phrase?

- Just before H.P. and Sanderson meet the Fairy Elder in “Minion,” H.P. names a specific location. What is this location and why would I want you, the reader, to know that it’s there?

HINT: Who can get to it?

HINT 2: Don’t overthink it. What is this place literally called?

HINT 3: In several ‘fics, we see special magic keys. Where do you think such keys go and what is the significance of having keys made of different materials?

HINT 4: Why do Fairies not have “perfect memories?” Why do Anti-Fairies supposedly have perfect memories? Why would Fairies not want Anti-Fairies to know about and use these keys?

HINT 5: We will see keys in the 130 Prompt “Repeat.” What material are these keys and where do they come from?

- We now have a person, two places, and some items (and technically a time). How might this information change the way you read Origin?

- Longwood says only one thing in the Origin chapter “Snowflake.” What does he say? Why was Longwood mentioned in the previous chapter (“How to Yoo-Doo”)? Why do these details conflict? What conclusions can be drawn?

- In Origin’s Act 2 finale, “Fruitful Fruition,” H.P. and Sanderson have a conversation where H.P. makes verbatim reference to a quote in a Season 4 episode. What is the context of his talk with Sanderson? What can I do in a backstory ‘fic that sets us up for that episode?

HINT: It’s not a Pixie episode

HINT 2: The quote is VERY specific to that episode and the episode specifically draws attention to it

HINT 3: There is a detail about Sanderson that is easy to forget, so I brought it up earlier in this post. I specifically designed this part of Sanderson in reference to that episode

HINT 4: What was the context of the original quote in the episode? Above all else, the full quote and the context behind it is what Origin of the Pixies is about.

- Four books were recently stolen from the Pink Castle library. Judging by their titles, what information would you guess is in them? (The titles were named in “The Facts of Life” and “What Karma Is”)

- Why could no one solve the crime?

- Take your new information and read “Grooming” again. What does Longwood do at night? Does this remind you of another thing that happens at night? 

HINT: Something referenced in this post

If you can answer all of the above, you should know who took the books, why they took them, what Longwood’s relationship to Aspen is, why Aspen is gone, and why Longwood believes Aspen is alive. Review the quoted text in the first half of this post and maybe you’ll realize why Longwood’s relationship with Sanderson is so complex.

That’s Aspen.

You can send asks here on Tumblr or PM me on FFN/AO3 if you want to share your thoughts, which I’m happy to talk to you about… or you can quietly watch it unfold. Up to you!

[ladypeck]

Not By Blood

Ship: Spock/Michael

Rating: E

Labels: Explicit sex. Spock/Michael romance. Why? Because I ship the fuck out of it. May have typos.

No one would understand his desires. His parents wouldn’t. His fellow officers. Being honest with himself Spock didn’t understand it. He simply accepted it. The girl he’d once thought of as a sister had broken his heart, and for awhile even his mind. He had pretended to be unaffected by her apology when she came to explain why she’d rejected him, called him names, and then walked out that night.

At some point he’d stopped pretending he understood and treated her with cool indifference. It wasn’t until he was nineteen years old and hit puberty, grossly early for a Vulcan, that his feelings regarding his foster sister shifted from indifference to naked hostility, because it wasn’t until he hit puberty that he began to realize Michael Burnham was female, and just how powerful sexual attraction could be.

She had breasts. She had developed a curve to her hips, and other places, that her own turn with puberty had developed in her. She even smelled different at different times of the Earth Standard Month by which she and his mother measured their lives and their menstrual cycle. That scent deeply affected him.

For Spock the change in her scent began about a week before she bled. It was at that time he reacted in ways that shamed him. The smell incited a visceral response that made him wonder, every time it happened, if he was going through the pon farr. He’d awaken with a racing pulse, sweating, and those damned erections that plagued him.

It wasn’t just her reproductive cycle that affected Spock. Her body did. Michael would exercise in tight shorts. He’d look at the shape of her body, the roundness of her ass, the way her thigh muscles flexed, and, of course, what was between her legs, and he’d harden with startling speed and intensity, and every time he hated himself for the reaction. Every time he loathed her, blamed her, for something he couldn’t control, much less she. That created a sense of guilt, which made him angry, and during that viscous cycle of lust and self-loathing, he was fully aware that Michael wasn't at fault. Neither of them were, yet he was powerless to not feel the way he did. It was all so damned illogical.

Their years coexisting as teens in the same house did more damage than anything else that happened between them. He hated his changing body. He hated the lust he felt for her, and his struggle to hide it.

“She is your sister,” Sarek had reminded him once.

“Not by blood.”

The night she came home from graduation, tipsy from drink she’d indulged alone on a bluff overlooking Forge Valley, because she hadn’t been invited to celebrate with her classmates, he’d watched her try to sneak into the house. She leaned on him as he’d helped her to her room, and before he could leave she’d asked for help getting ready for bed. He’d obliged, only to find himself with his face inches from her exposed thighs. He had a clear view of her white panties, and he could smell her.

It was madness to reach for her, to rub a thumb clumsily over her, hoping his vague knowledge of the human female anatomy served him well enough to touch her clit, arouse her. She’d gasped, blinked at him with glassy eyes, thinking perhaps it had been a mistake, an accident, but the second stroke couldn't be dismissed as anything innocent.

He’d pushed her back, onto her bed, his big hands clumsy as he pulled at her panties, smelling her arousal getting stronger, and his erection throbbing between his thighs, as he continued stroking her.

“You’re my brother.”

“No, I am not. Tell me you want it. Tell me and I’ll give it to you.”

“I…I…want it. Don’t stop.”

He’d tasted her then. Licked at her pussy without any experience or finesse. He poured longing, lust, and years of hurt into eating her and was rewarded with stifled moans she released into her pillow. He prayed the privacy dampeners covered the sounds of his wet fingers sliding into her. Or his own moans escaping as her juices dribbled down his chin and he jerked himself off to the taste of her heated flesh against his tongue.

When it was over Spock stood, tucked himself away, and left her with her panties around her ankle, her thighs spread wide, her face covered by her pillow, body shaking with sobs of guilt and shame. He felt the same, but he shoved those feelings down. Buried them, and fell asleep without difficulty.

They pretended nothing had happened for months after. Then he came home to find their parents gone to some diplomatic function at the Tellarite embassy. As soon as he’d looked into her eyes that night came back. Only this time there was no shame. This time there was only lust. He gave in to the primal urges within and threw Michael over his shoulder, ran up to his room with her, and without care or an attempt at pleasing her, ripped her dress away and thrust into her. She’d cried out in pain, making him impossibly hard. He felt her get wetter with each thrust until she was dripping over his balls and down his thighs.

“Spock! Spock please!”

She cried his name with every thrust, begging him for mercy, gentleness, that he denied, but she never asked him to stop. He felt her nails dig into his shoulders as she held on, sobbing from pleasure and pain, her own hips rolling against him, grinding hard. He was brutal, holding her in the air, her body helpless in his arms like a rag doll. She kissed him, bit his lower lip and drew blood, which aroused him even more. Lust was a monster in their bellies, and they fed it by dropping to his bed, thrusting, scratching, screaming. She rode him, and he watched her in the mirrored glass of his bedroom wall as she came explosively, watched her pussy gush with every thrust, felt the wet heat of her soak both him and his sheets, putting a scent in them he'd never forget.

Spock wanted her to stay, wanted her to share his bed, but didn't have the words or the bravery to ask. Michael left his bedroom on unsteady legs, naked, her ruined dress and underwear his to do with as he pleased. She never returned. She studied half way around the planet. Joined Starfleet, then took the assignment on the Shenzhou, never reaching out to him, nor he to her. He hated her once again for leaving him. Abandoning him. Rejecting him.

Now, on Discovery, they’ve found peace. Their encounters from years past are an unspoken thing that he doesn’t expect her to bring up, so Spock is surprised when Michael shows up at his door in the dead of night. She has shared quarters with Tilly but he sleeps alone. She stands at his window, watching space streak by at warp, silent.

“Something troubles you?” he prompts.

She turns to him, a slight smile on her lips, before reaching up and pulling his coat open, and then down his arms, until it falls to the floor, and he knows she's not there to talk. At least not with words. Her hand on the center of his chest is much gentler than any hand he’s ever touched her with. She pushes him to the chair beside the port. He removes his shirt without word. There’s no need to question it. To fight it by calling her sister, or him brother. They haven’t been siblings in years, if ever. He’s hard for her before she can undo his trousers and pull him free.

“I should’ve been gentle the last time. Treated you with respect,” he says.

“You hated me, Spock.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I hated you too, as much as I wanted you. We’ve put that behind us. Let’s have this while we can. Let’s be…human. Let me see a side of you I never have.”

When Michael takes him into her mouth she does so with considerably more expertise than he possessed all those years ago with her. When he reciprocates he does so with skill that makes her cry out with pleasure untainted by pain, or shame. There’s no resentment in the roll of her hips, or anger when he thrusts into her. Neither hide the sounds of their pleasure. Their hands are gentle, their kisses deep and slow. There's love and respect in the act, as much as there's lust. Spock let’s Michael feel his desire, hear his pleasure, see the love he feels for her in his eyes. After, when he carries her to his bed, their bodies sweaty and sated, they lay there in contentment. Peace.

“Is that another smile?”

Spock strokes her arm with gentle fingers. “Indeed it is.”

She falls asleep first. He remains awake to enjoy the feel of her in his arms, the taste of her in his mouth, and without any hurry to hide the smile that lingers upon his lips.

[calliecat93]

RvB Season 16 Commentary Masterpost

This post details the commentary from the RvB16 DvD. I tried to add as much and be as detailed as possible and I apologize if I misconstrued anything. This was 12 pages long BTW... I hope you all enjoy!

Commentators

All Episodes: Joe Nicolosi (writer/director)

Episodes 1-5: Kyle Taylor (machinima director), Josh Ornelas (senior machinimator)

Episodes 6-10: Jason Weight (co-writer), Greg Slagel (show producer), Billy Burson (Visual Supervisor/Lighter)

Episodes 11-15: Phillip Sparn (Audio Mixer/Sound Designer), Ian Sheppard (Lead Animator), David Levy (Audio/Music Composer)

Episode 1

The intro scene with the knights involved zero machinima (Kyle very much appreciated that), IDK if this was a joke, but Joe said that he wrote the intro three years ago and sent it to Miles, who was confused by it. He thought this would be a good place to finally use it.

The Grif knight is now Sir Gryffandor and the Simmons one Simmtarian XD

Joe use to be in a time traveled-theme band and many of the unused ideas it's where he got several of his ideas for this season.

Joe felt that it took far too long to get into the action in S15, so he tried to have it go faster this time around. Hence why he sped through the setup in this and Season 2.

Kyle and Joe talk about how there was a joke in S11 where Caboose responded to his echo in a cave. Joe wanted the echo to have been time travel Caboose, but when they decided on the slideshow format he couldn't. Miles confirmed at RTX that it is now canon so yay!

Joe had gone back through the show and made notes about where the characters could mess with their past. He also has a fan theory that Two Coffee Mug Guy from the Freelancer Saga is the cause of everything bad that happened since if he didn't show up, North wouldn't have gotten caught, the mission would have gone fine, etc. I am on board with this theory!

In one shot, they forgot to put Huggins and Muggins in as the headlights and it was too late to fix when the time came to air it. Oops. Kyle jokes that they have to blink off every one in a while due to their anatomy XD

The scene where Donut has... broke I guess was apparently a pain in the ass to do. For example when there's like eight of him in a row, they had to time the shot exactly right to machinimate it properly. It involved a LOT of coordination. They all agree that the bit where Donut glitches/contorts is the stuff of nightmares.

Speaking of that bit, you'd think that would be easy since it's essentially glitched out animation. But doing it apparently broke all the rendering machines and they had long talks with the tech department to get it rendered properly. It got to the point where it actually went up to Gray Haddock, the Head of Animation. Daaamn.

Joe's original vision for Episode 1 was to have a long conversation about food that triggered a series of horrific events as it was going on. Kind of like a one act play. Only the Caboose bit with Donut made it through however.

Grif's love of Sammie Raphaello's is based on Joe's feelings about a similarly named place in New York, including eating it for 100 days straight. It had been worth it.

Starseat, the Cosmic Gods base. Is one of the only maps that they hadn't used form Halo 5. They used the majority in S15 so they needed to use some of the alien locations for this one. Since S16 has the Cosmic Powers, it worked out for them.

Episode 2

The forest area was a custom map made by Josh. They used several custom maps this season.

Josh calls layering trees the 'Bob Ross effect' XD

There's this lightning effect in this map that had to me timed perfectly to not mess up the shot. Lets just say that they had to redo several shots because they got the timing wrong or it was too distracting.

When there is a joke that has an awkward pause or silence in it, Joe likes to add a bird effect to it. In the bit with Caboose's 'Your Mama' joke, he used an owl effect

It is canon that Caboose has shy tinkle and can't do his business with others around XD

Because the Halo 5 models have this bad tendency with their coloring (ie, Simmons sometimes looks too much like Sarge), they hired a colorist for the first time in the series history. So every Simmons scene (IDK if they mean just this one or every single one) had to be hand colored to keep him as maroon as possible.

Kyle asked about what was going in on Chorus. Joe says that this is NOT canon, but in his mind Locus got arrested when he brought Wash back to Chorus. They want to try Locus as a war criminal where he COUDL escape, but since he swore off killing people he cna't without doing so. Apparently his ship has an AI ready to split the planet with him Locus gone so Kimball, whose in the middle of an election, has the choice to either let Locus go and save the planet, or not and not get re-elected. This is strictly headcanon, but Joe considered using it as a subplot but since it had nothing to do with the time travel, he opted against it.

Donut is now God Jesus Donut. Something that Joe was very excited to do.

Kyle had no idea how they were going to have Donut walk across water. Apparently Halo 5 has these invisible blocks that they were able to use to pull off the effect.

The music used in this scene is a genre called 'monk-step', which is like Gregorian chanting mixed with ETM (from what I can gather, it's some kind of electro music). Apparently this is a real genre.

The city and destroyed Sammie Raphaello's was made by Austin Clark and Kyle Moran.

Conner, one fo the editors, edited the scene pretty tightly as with most RvB scenes. Joe then made him go back and add a punch of long. pauses

The cop was indeed voiced by Jeremy Dooley. Joe's direction to him was that he thought he was the main character of the story and to just go off with it. He did so for several minutes and Joe had to cut it down, but you can see the full thing in the blooper reel.

Joe didn't want to lock onto a specific place aside form 'somewhere in America' for the city location. But since Grif said he went to Harvard in a PSA, he guesses that it's somewhere in Massachusetts.

Joe has this pet peeve about a truck in the shot as the exact same model was also there when we the place again in Episode 4. Kyle makes a backstory for it about being driven by a dump truck driver who cheated on his wife and was caught, left the truck there, and went on to become president. The truck is now a monument. I am all for this!

They storyboarded Donut putting the guns on the ground... and Joe decided at the last second to just have them flash and appear to not waste time just having him lay down guns for 20 seconds.

Kyle calls Grif a coward for not taking the bullet for Sammie's. That's not nice Kyle!

“Donut uses his shield powers that... never come up again” Thanks Joe...

To get Sarge and Simmons properly on the ground when they land in Egypt, Kyle simply had Josh kill them in-game. They landed perfectly XD

Episode 3

The snow scene with Grif and Doc apparently shows the horizon for the first time in the series due to using very boxed in multiplayer maps. It is also a custom map with the horizon point, which was green-screened, blending into the snow.

Sister and Tucker were green-screened into Halo 3. Apparently it wasn't too bad here, but it was MUCH harder for Halo 2. They VERY much appreciated having a green-screen within Halo 5.

The desert scene with Sarge and Simmons apparently had a shadow in it, so they had to color correct it to make it look more desert-like. Simmons color apparently overlapped with Sarge's a lot.

The storylines were supposed to be about the characters all trying to fix their past mistakes, but only make it worst. This was meant to tie into the season's theme on how fucking up is a part of life. Them not learning it, of course, causes what happens in the end. Joe does mention that it doesn't seem like it worked for everyone watching, however but Kyle mentions how rewatching it can get people to pick up on it more.

The map they used for The Battle of Broken Ridge went through several iterations. They went with one they called White Dwarf which was very detailed tot he point where they fuzzied it up to make it look less so. The rock formations are underwater rocks and have coral textures to them to make them look more alien.

Present!Sarge is wielding a sniper rifle in this scene, not his shot gun. They imply that he shot the previous CO so that his past self would be given the position. GDI Sarge.

Apparently Halo characters do NOT like rough terrain, so recording the soldiers running across it was difficult to make it look natural.

For the PoV shot with Caboose, apparently you can't move the camera much in Halo 5 but you CAN have the character walk closer into it. So Austin and Kyle Moran did so to get the shot and was one of the first they did on their own.

Lopez couldn't be color corrected apparently. They had to go with a shade nearly identical to Grif's because otherwise he looked onto much like Master Chief. As such he looks different in every scene. Thanks Halo 5.

Episode 4

Joe wanted to use all the main locations (Blood Gulch, Valhalla) at least once. He was able to use Halos 2 and 3, but didn't get around to using Halo 4, so we didn't get Chorus aside form the one we saw last season.

The Tucker and Sister storyline was the most changed. Originally, it was going to be about Tucker trying to stop himself from getting laid with all the women that got him a lawsuit last season. He succeeded... but his present self got seduced anyways. This however created a bit of a paradox (I assume since it was clear that Tucker remembered it last season) so he decided he wanted to do something more personal between Tucker and Sister.

Joe wanted this, Episode 5, and Episode 6 to feel more episodic. Hence why he get a major focus on Tucker and Sister here, Sarge and Simmons in 5, and Grif and Doc in 6.

Joe apparently cockblocked himself once. Oops.

Kyle wants to use a time machine to go back and mess with himself when past!him was working in a check out line. Joe would use it to go see old movies and bands when they opened up.

The Broken Ridge map made all the visors green.

Hammerspace exists in the RvB verse due to all the weapon shifts.

The machinima team used the PC version of Halo 2 (the same one used for the Blood Gulch remaster) due to technical reasons. The problem is all the servers, services, etc that were available when doing the remaster no longer exist in 2018. While they have copies of the game, to do what they need they had to use fan hacks, a laptop, and Joe's home computer to make the scenes properly.

Lindsay Jones (VA for Kimball) plays one of the three kids using her Space Kid voice form Camp Camp. Kyle thought one of the actors was the VA for Qrow in RWBY (Vic Mignogna) but it wasn't.

They had a lot of fun macinimating Grif's freakout and Joe outright called Geoff's performance Oscar worthy. They considered submitting it XD

The guy left the truck (form Episode 2) on this very day XD

Tucker asking Sister if she turned off her radio was a reference to O'Malley since at this time, he was still around and going through different people's heads. It was important to make sure that he paid attention to continuity in the time he was going to mess with. Since he felt that this was a memorable event in Blood Gulch, he wanted to go back to it and make sure that he wasn't accidentally messing up anything.

This is the third time they've gone back to this in RvB's history as Josh previously directed a S14 episode written by Barbara Dunkleman (VA for Jensen) about O'Malley in different headspaces. Wow, they must love this scene XD

Joe made Nico (one of the composers and part of Trocadero) make porno music for the cave pond scene. He said “On it Joe!”

Joe liked making Tucker dense when it comes to sex, especially in this scene.

There were talks about if Tucker and Sister should still be in Halo 5 armor when time travleing or if it should change. They ultimately decided to stick to the Halo 5 armor, which Joe felt was the right choice since he was no real reason to have them in the game's default. RvB14 had a similar philosophy where whatever time period the story is taking place, ti had to match that version of Halo.

Episode 5

The map used at the very beginning was a user-made map that's meant to be reminiscent of a Halo 3 map.

Using John Wayne was apparently a pain in the ass. They couldn't refer to him as John Wayne and several other names like The Duke due to legal reasons. It was at the point where they had to have Gus and Matt frequently come in to do re-recordings due to all the changes. They finally settled on Private John... and they hope that they don't get sued for saying it in the commentary.

To remake Desert Gulch, they had to use all the characters at the same time and do several different shots for several reasons.

George Washington was voiced by Todd Womack, a Creative Producer for Broadcast at RT. He also voiced the Simmons knight in Episode 1.

Chris Kokkinos, a Lead Audio Engineer for RT Animation, played Alexander the Great. They did ten minutes of Google searches to put together a voice that sounded accurate enough to what Ancient Masadonian (I think) would sound like.

There's a radio effect in the movie filming scenes where, if you listen close enough, you can hear someone trying to find the bestboy. When I rewatch this with commentary off, I am ging to listen HARD to find those lines.

Kohan Wooter, the producer Jax torments, was voiced by RT's 3D Animation producer Koan Wooten. Joe jokes that he's a 'pathetic ball of anxiety' so he based the character on him. Don't worry, he actually loves Koen XD Koen produced Seasons 13, 14, and 15, but 16 has a new producer, Greg who we'll hear in Episodes 6-10 commentary.

Apparently in Halo 5 (Kyle isn't sure if this was an update or he just never saw it there's an option to max character speeds. So when Jax, Simmons, and Sarge are walking through the set, they were able to set all three to the same speed without it looking like they're sprinting, something that is normally difficult to do in machinima.

In S15, Joe wanted Jax to get successful at some point... and then fall back down off his horse due to his ego. So he did it here!

They wish that they showed Jax's version of S15, though we do get a sample in Episode 12.

Austin and Kyle Moran worked on the scene where Sarge and Private John are doing lines.

For this scene, Matt was late for a CEO meeting so he had to do all of his lines in one take in quick succession. He nailed every single one of them.

I think most know this, but just in case, Atlus is voiced by SungWon Cho aka ProZD. Joe was a big fan of him and was really excited to cast him.

All the Gods we see who aren't Atlus, Kali, Genkins, and Burnstorm are Minor Gods and this is the only time we get to see them all. Kyle says one is the God of Anxiety XD

Kyle made Atlus' throne and used spaceship parts to make it. It was also a chore to decide on all the Gods guns.

Episode 6

Jason wrote Episodes 6, 7, 10, 11, 13, and 14 (Joe confirmed the latter four on Twitter).

Joe says that Grif and Doc are somewhere in Calabria, Ancient Italy. It is known as 'The Boot of Italy'.

Greg previously on a 2D show at another company (I couldn't make out what he said it was) before arriving at RT and being put on RvB. Since machinima is treated more like live action when filming, it was a very different experience along with storyboarding the animation. He had to learn a lot about what can and can't be done in machinima.

Billy previously worked on a live action RvB short (I assume the RvB14 finale but they didn't specify) and before this worked on RWBY and RWBY Chibi. He works on both lighting and composition.

Billy really liked working on the lens flare shots XD Which are also apparently hard to render despite how easy it looked at first.

Jason wrote most of Sister's dialogue, which had to be cut down a bit. Apparently one line he wrote was Sister saying “I want Lancelot to slay my p***y like a Dragon”. This once got cut because Microsoft told them to, which is a VERY rare occurrence.

Genkins was the one going crazy with the airhorn during Atlus' intro. They used up all their airhorn budget for that one XD

Joe credited Jason for Atlus' portrayal. Jason feels that Atlus is very human and fragile on the inside and the kind of characters that he likes to write.

They all laughed at Tucker and Sister being blown up, which they tried to reuse form other stuff, but Joe refused. They joke that they just got it off the internet.

Joe feels that he could have done this episode better as he didn't feel anything for Doc at the end like he had intended.

They have an animator specifically for O'Malley's finger motions. He'll be in the 11-15 commentary and is reffered to as 'The Fingerer'

Episode 7

Since this is an episode that mixes live action, they started working on this even before Episode 1. They were excited at first... until they finally started doing it.

Gus Sorola (VA for Simmons) played the Cyclops as well as his wife.

Joe knows that some people weren't happy with this episode, but he still liked it cause Tucker and Sister got to fight a giant cyclops. They do admit it is one of the stupidest thing they've ever done though XD

They went over budget doing the scene and had to go all the way up to Matt to get more. At RTX, Matt said that he allowed it when they said that Gus was going to be uncomfortable for several hours. Best CEO XD Joe brought in Koen to convince help him.

Huggins had several different animators, but most of the credit goes to an animator named Owen for giving a glowing sphere so much energy with the animation.

Gus' scenes were shot in one day, but because they had to change the lighting so much to correspond with Halo, it took a LOOOOOT of hours.

When the cyclops bit into the Tucker armor, Joe had it in the script that Gus just pulled the head off. Gus asked if he could eat it, which Joe allowed. Joe had to paint it the day before the shoot after Greg went and got it. They used a toy since animating Tucker in Gus' hand would have been too much work to get right.

Joe did a lot of the work on the scenes while listening to an audiobook, so now he just hears it whenever watching the episode. Fortunately, he has a lot of work with green-screen XD

David Levy composed the music for the scene and Joe had him listen to stuff from Jason and the Arganots and such things to give him an idea of what to do.

Tucker jumping to hit the Cyclops'... privates...w as a reference to Independence Day apparently.

Joe wished that, when we see the location again in the finale, he just showed the Cyclops' corpse rotting away... so I guess that confirms that he's dead. He thought of it after the fact however so he couldn't.

Joe deliberately told the Art Department about the female cyclops at the last second so that they would buy a shitty costume for Gus to put on. Greg was confused. The shot later for Episode 15 was a surprise shot Joe did since he was writing the finale around this time, so he wanted it just in case he wanted to use it... which he did XD

Episode 8

The map with the Chorus towers were a Live Map. IDK what that means, but apparently they can't use. So the machinimators had to go around it and take various shots of the towers to put them in the opening scene. It got several accounts banned as a result XD

After the last episode used so many different things (animation, machinima, live action), the fact that they were able to get an animation sequence into this one had Joe feeling good about the production flow for the season since the previous one would normally go over deadlines. Fortunately, the production went through seemlessly.

The animation team is mostly from RWBY Chibi.

Originally Carolina and Dr. Grey's talk was in Grey's office. Miles said that it wasn't weird enough to fit Grey though, so Joe change the setting to a morgue. The dialogue stayed the same though! The feet of the body were apparently hard to render XD

Joe wished that Carolina was holding some guy's intestines to further show how creepy it is.

With the cyclops, Joe apparently wanted him to have a giant, hanging dong cause he things it would be Tucker's worst nightmare. Greg immediately shot that down since no amount if pixilation would be able to hide it.

Joe wanted to give Grif a magic fairy companion, ehnce why we got Huggins and the two would learn form each other.

Huggins is based off of her actress, Ashley Spillers, in terms of personality.

Apparently doing shots showing tall buildings like in Chorus is much easier than getting a dead guy's feet in properly. Huh...

Joe got obsessed with doing different shots to make shots of a character just talking interesting and he felt he went a little too crazy.

Joe felt bad that he couldn't use more of Dylan, but he learned last season that RvB has a TON of characters and he needs to break them up when it's necessary. This is part of why the Reds and Blues were split up this season.

Billy did a lot of work on the wrestling scene in the finale due to how much lighting was needed. It also involved a lot of comp due to the amount of shots.

Wash's cat, Loki, is based off a cat Joe had in RL. Many of the same things happened to it and lived for over 20 years. Wow...

Episode 9

Joe makes it clear that he loves Koen and he only made fun of him because he loves him. Greg felt much of Kohan's portrayal hit too close to home XD

Since they used most of the maps in S15, Joe knew that they were going to have to reuse some of them and the filmset plotline was done in order to do so. Considering Wash's state, he felt that it worked well for character.

The Female Frozen Freelancer was voiced by Minni Clark, their Animation Coordinator.

Joe considered what Wash and Carolina would do with a time machine. For a while, he considered having Carolina use it to go to the future, but he felt that could botch future storylines so he decided to not use the future at all.

They liked the campfire map and giving Huggins sparkles. The sparkles got added late into production. Luckily they emphasized that no one was harmed in the making of this production XD

Huggins will only swear when quoting Die Hard. The lens flare in the movie was also Joe's favorite lens flare in film XD

Joe was originally going to have Grif come across Lopez's head after he sank in the titanic. But since Grif was in Ancient Italy, that would not work so it was cut.

Joe also intended for Grif to use a boat to get over the English Channel, but since it would have been a hard set-piece to make and they already had an underwater map, they went with that instead.

The effect to make past!Simmons portal appear/green-screen was apparently fun XD Joe also liked having Sarge stab Achilles in the foot.

This season has the most green-screen used in any season.

Apparently there are a LOT of time travel stories out there with very complicated rules. Joe went with the ones that he felt were the most common.

Joe got very mad because The Covlerfield Paradox came out sometimes before the season starts. He also gets mad in the finale cause Infinity War did what he did essentially XD

Joe found using time travel to test free will interesting as he doesn't recall anyone doing it before.

Matt improved his lines regarding the back and forth on deciding to open the door. He does that a lot XD

They didn't want to add a shot of Simmons pressing the keypad, so they just showed the door opening.

Episode 10

To make Caboose's vacation easier, they decided to go with the slideshow and just use stills. Most were easy to comp, but some like the monkeys were more difficult. It was orignally going to be animated.

With the shot of the RT Founders, they originally had a Halo helmet in the photo. Joe changed it to a bowling ball.

Joe was counting down the days of production and told no one. Greg was very confused when he saw '100 Days' on Joe's calendar.

Jason wrote Camelto and voiced Lancelot/Sir Gryffandor. Joe used all of his first takes XD

Jason writes long scripts, so Joe had to cut them down and he felt bad about it. Jason said that he got rid of the garbage bits XD

There is some kind of cannon by Tucker's shoulder when he meets with Grif. Joe headcanosn that Tucker just demanded that they make a cannon.

Even Joe points out that Grif's trying to push the plot forward now. They joke that it's just so it an end faster.

The reason why Tucker started the war with France they decided was because they ate snails, hence his line “Those fancy f***s eat snails!”

Joe clarifies on what turning into a shisno means. I wrote about this already, but I'll do so again here. It is not a form of corruption or mind control, but people like Tucker giving more and more into temptation and as such, the worst part of them comes out. He felt that them trying to make the past better is a big convenience in time travel and decided that them screwing it up and therefore still trying was an effect of Chrovos. It's not direct mind control however, it just makes your darker impulses stronger.

Joe confirms that Genkins was the PA who lead Wash to the scene recreating where he got shot solely to make him worst and keep the plan going in the right direction.

Joe, having grown up on films like Evil Dead, really likes bloody shots and thinks that his seasons have had the most blood effects XD

They checked over Donut and O'Malley's scene a LOT due to a lot of screw ups and using a large white void.

Billy's favorite thing to have lighted was Chrovos. They were very happy with the gears design.

Joe really liked Chrovos' VA

Episode 11

Phillip played one of the guards that got crushed by the horse in the finale. It is his proudest moment.

Doing work for Huggins was painful since she required several swooshing effects and her animation turned out to be much more work due to Ian deciding to make her more energetic to not make it boring.

Muggins is less energetic due to being older

Joe had to get special permission from Miles and Kerry to use the RWBY moon and now calls it canon... which he honestly isn't all that wrong if you've watched RWBY V6...

Audio liked adding the effects to Atlus' voice, something that ProZD apparently does in his videos.

When he decided to use God sin RvB, Joe had wanted to have a wish granting scene and the one we got is one of his favorites. He also mentions how most Gods go to places, mess with younger races, so he felt like this fit.

The music for this was challenging for David as Joe instructed him to base it on Danny Elfman-esque scores. The guitar rift when Grif makes the sword wish was treated like a sound effect.

Apparently they used a laughing seagull effect to laugh at Tucker. I need to listen for these things more.

They used a sunset map for Tucker and Sister's talk, and while lighting is often difficult in RvB, Joe felt that this worked very well. Using Halo 5 in general was hard, but after last year they had a good grasp on what they could and couldn't do. They'll be us9ig a new Halo next year, which since Halo 6 isn't out I assume is referring to Halo 2 Anniversary

Okay... so this bit is probably gonna be the biggest part. So the whole scene with Tucker and Sister's talk? Originally in the outline, Joe simply had Sister go 'And I don't care!' when she and Tucker realize that their s*xventures were coming to an end. Then he sent it off to Jason, who expanded on it in the script to have Sister's verbal beatdown to Tucker. Joe let it stick, and we got what we got.

Episode 12

This is the first episode of RvB shot in 4K

You know the opening shot where Actor!Wash dips Actress!Carolina? The scene was mo-caped by Joe as Wash an an animator named Harley (she works primarily on RWBY) as Carolina. When they acted it out, Joe tried to catch Harley when she fell back... except that he had recently dislocated his arm. So he ended up just dropping her and he fell over and hit his head. The mocap for it looked really funny though XD

The reason why Joe used 4K for this episode was in order to do wide shots so that After Effects could put in the shaky cam. He did it in one weekend. He's not a fan of 4K however due to feeling it adds too much production time, so he used it for only this episode.

They joke about making an RvB Soap Opera where Church has a twina nd Sarge goes into a coma. I WANT THIS!

Joe had not seen The Office when he went with the interviews idea.

This, and the later episodes, were written during the production.

This episode was the RvB equivalent of a Beach Episode like you see in anime. But because of armor and stuff, he couldn't go all the way. Also apparently if Halo characters hit the water unless it's an underwater map, they die. Huh...

Joe continues to make it clear that he loves working with Koen. Good job on making sure you don't piss your boss off dude!

The Chinese Finger Trap gag with Caboose was improved by Joel. The trap was composed in and they used the Huggins rigs to help with the stretching.

Joe felt he went a little too strong with the color correction in this episode and that the colors came off too strong, especially with Donut.

Joe liked the audio cue used for when Wash has one of his memory blocks.

There was a lot of improve done with the actors for Jax's movie. Phillip also didn't get the Rodney Dangerfield reference. Joe put that specific one in because the Private John actor did one for funsies in his session.

According to Joe, after he gets hit by Atlus' hammer, he forgets all of his movie ideas and is now in the next stage of his life in trying to figure them out. They ask if this is autobiographical for Joe XD

The gold club is an actual weapon in Halo 5 (some kind of multiplayer mode), huh...

In the original take where everyone is saying titles, Joel had Caboose curse. Joe found it funny... but since Caboose doesn't swear to that level (I think in another interview Joe said he used the F word), he decided two days prior to cut it and edit several takes together to get what we got. They added it back in for the Blooper Reel, and I can confirm that it is hilarious.

Episode 13

David used wall to wall music for this episode.

The first drafts for the final three episodes were over 70 pages long. The average is around 12-18 pages, so... yeah... he had to cut it down to 54 within about three days.

Joe didn't get to work a lot with Genkins' VA (Ricco Fajardo since he forgot the name in the commentary) since Genkins had very few lines. He really enjoyed working with him and the other professional voice actors since he can really push them and they love going along with it.

Jason did the script for this episode.

This episode, along with 13, had very little animation due to the finale going crazy with it. So they cut down on it in these two to make up for that time.

Joe's not a fan of exposition scenes, but since Starseat was a unique set design, he felt like it was a good place to do it.

The Cosmic Powers are always green-screened so that they can look much larger.

David wanted to listen to his master work XD

Joe hadn't told mahcinima what swords to give everyone and is happy with the options that they went with.

Burnstorm's VA is a theater actor in Dallas

Joe regretted that he wasn't able to have the Gods in action much and wishes that he was able to fit in one God fight at least. But he had gone over the animation budget, so even if he wanted to he couldn't.

The Neanderthals hair in Caboose's slideshow apparently didn't work at all, so they photoshoped it in.

Joe really enjoyed doing Carolina and Wash's scene, especially with how well Jen and Shannon performed it. He felt so much regret for what he did to these characters XD

Joe did research on brain injuries to make sure that he portrayed Wash's condition as accurately as possible.

Machinima built the room that the Reds and Blues were teleported to. It was originally a hallway apparently.

Episode 14

The intention of the episode was to be a runway into the finale and to be a bit of a cool down after the last one.

Jason once more did the script for this one.

Halo 5 armor in multiplayer apparently can't be black, so in shadows it just glows. Huh, weird.

No one aside from Joe saw the shot of the Fates. Ian never saw them as he handed them to someone else while doing 15, and they did them all without him having to check them.

Joe wrote the demo for The Fates song to give to the singers who auditioned.

Joe thought a lot about Carolina time traveling prior to this, but felt that she was too responsible and smart to use it the same way the Reds and Blues did.

Phillip was kind of glad that Huggins got 'killed' (I'm still denying it) since it meant no more swoosh sounds

The buildup to the... death scene... dropped the ambiance to build up the creepiness factor.

Joe did the black hole effect and went on until it made him too sad and he kicked his computer. You have only yourself to blame.

They like how the Cosmic Powers just become more and more normal acting as time goes on XD

Joe had been very nervous about The Fates and considers it the weirdest sequence in the season. He suggested the orchestral tuning build-up.

Joe explains how The Fates work. The Cosmic Powers are AI/computers, and that includes The Fates. They are like a series of quantum supercomputers who scan the atoms around them to determine the outcome of the future. Their prophecies are mere projections.

Episode 15 (Season Finale)

They call this 'The Beast Episode'

David added 15 minutes of music with no stop. It continues to accelerate as it continues on.

The episode was done more like a music video. All the animation was done first, and then David composed it to the animation instead of before it. He used bits of previous cues and themes as well. It took him two weeks to do.

The room that Carolina and the others hid in had been very bright, so they had to darken it.

This was very tightly edited in order to stay matched up to the music.

The strategy for the Donut vs O'Malley was to treat the finale as two episodes. The fight was done by one team and all the other stuff was done by another.

They like the 'Use what you learned' advice.

Audio used a program called Vocaline to dot he effects for Chrovos' voice and the gear ticking effects.

The edit for the episode was very different from the script as Joe did a lot of re-arranging of scenes to improve the flow. He got advice form Connor, one of the editors, to pace them better.

The pizza is a photoshopped Home Slice Pizzal

If you watch the scene where Caboose hits the Red with his golf club in slow mo, the body flies off but his soul stays put in an extra frame. If you watch it frame by frame, you can see the soul dissolve. Will make a note to do so later.

David wrote three separate tracks for each storyline in the episode (Donut vs O'Malley, Grif vs Genkins, and the others saving Wash) which all blend together as they go on.

The cue playing when Genkins goes on his boredom rant is Joe and David's favorite cue.

Genkin's rant was also much longer and was pretty much Genkins breaking up with the universe. Joe felt that it was losing momentum as it went on however, so he cut it down.

Phillip had a ringing bell sound effect play when Donut hit the plane on the commentary track. All of them lost it XD

The longest scene to animate was Donut jumping after The Hammer.

Each bit of the fight went to different animators. Ian worked on the Blood Gulch part and reference show he's known for being good at finger animation. Hence why we got O'Malley's evil finger wiggling XD They were bummed that they didn't have more time, but with so much going on, they had no choice. Everything was mo-caped and hand framed due to the uniqueness of all the scenes, all of which used no machinima, which normally has to be in a specific view. Joe was happy since he could move the camera around more.

The city for the final part of the fight was stolen taken from Gen:Lock. It's meant to be New York.

Joe has no regrets regarding the fight scene and was very happy with how it all came together.

There's a ticking effect during the episode that accelerates, but during the final part where Grif is running and stuff, the ticking significantly slowed down.

Grif's running was machinimated and they used an after effects plugin to slow him down properly.

Again, Joe was very mad that Infinity War came out during this time XD This happened a lot this season apparently, such as Legion.

The final scene is done in Halo 2 Anniversary. Joe chose this because it looks familiar, yet is different. He did this specifically to not make people think that they were rebooting it... which happened anyways XD

Again, they confirm that they are NOT doing a reboot. Joe tried to put in as many clues as he could (like Church not being voiced by Burnie) to demonstrate that. There is a reason for why things are like this and why the final three shots are in reverse order from the events in Blood Gulch.

Joe watched all of Deep Space 9 while editing the season. All 6 seasons! Two he watched during the cyclops episode!

Apparently the Security part of the credits (which lists pets) hjust gets added onto without chances, so many of them are probably dead... ending on a morbid note then!

This took like... five hours to type up. But I always like listening to behind-the-scenes stuff and I had a lot of fun doing this! To all of those who actually made it through the entire post, thanks for reading! Looking forward to S17!

[themurphyzone]

World’s Greatest Dad Ch 2

A/N: The period that happens between Heinz’s divorce and pre-Perry is pretty intriguing to me. He was just starting his evil career (which was most likely at a stalemate before Perry). He only had Vanessa on alternating weekends, yet remained heavily involved in her life. On top of this, he was struggling with mental and emotional issues and doesn’t have his outlet yet. Heinz is an inspiration.

Ch 2: Mirrors and Commercials 

Dinner had been too silent. Vanessa had rolled her peas around her plate instead of eating them. She never had issues clearing her plate before, but a sizable chunk of sausage had found its way into the trash. Heinz glared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. It glared back at him.

He clutched the edge of the counter with both hands, wishing the material would shatter under his grip.

Heinz hadn’t meant to snap at Vanessa. Her question was innocent. She didn’t know the things she was implying. It wasn’t her fault.

“You’re terrible at this reassuring business,” the reflection scoffed.

“No need to remind me,” Heinz muttered.

“It was a yes-no question. And you manage to muck that up.”

“That wasn’t a yes-no question! How do you expect me to answer something like that out of the blue? She thought I’d abandon her just like-“

His breath hitched in his throat.

“Just like your own father abandoned you,” the reflection sneered. “You always make everything circle back to your parents. Pathetic. Easy to see why they’d do it too. No useful skills other than being a lawn gnome. Ugly. Needy. Weak.”

“I’m not,” Heinz muttered petulantly.

“Deny it all you want. Doesn’t change that it’s true.”

“Go away.”

“I’m part of you. That’s impossible.”

Heinz stormed out of the bathroom, knowing that he was just giving ammunition to his mirror self. It had taken all his resolve to not continue the argument, and he didn’t want Vanessa to discover that he regularly talked to a reflection.

He slumped onto the carpet next to his bed.

Now that he’d burned himself out, a familiar ache in his chest remained. It was the same one that occurred every other Monday when he realized he was alone again.

Machines could only keep him company for so long.

Heinz closed his eyes, recalling that strange onslaught of emotions he felt when Vanessa was born. Happiness and sorrow. Excitement and terror. Confidence and self-doubt. He’d never experienced all those things together before, nor would he ever experience them together again.

Then she’d grown up, passing milestone after milestone until Heinz thought he would burst with pride at how amazing and perfect Vanessa was. And he received plenty of scares as well. He’d been terrified when he and Charlene rushed to the ER when she ran a fever above 102, and he’d gone through at least a hundred outcomes while they waited for a doctor. The possibilities started out as plausible but grew more outlandish the longer they waited.  

She recovered with no lasting effects, and Heinz had never been more thankful in his life.

The sound of a foghorn in the distance brought him out of his trip down memory lane. It was 7:19 pm. He’d been in his room for half an hour.

Which meant that Vanessa had spent nearly her entire evening believing her dad was angry at her.

“All you gotta do is apologize,” Heinz whispered to himself, one hand on the doorknob. There was something in his brain telling him that it could wait until morning, but Heinz brushed it away. He needed to do it now. Vanessa wouldn’t get a good night’s sleep otherwise. “Didn’t you tell her to say sorry to that other girl a few hours ago? Take your own advice, Heinz.”

He found Vanessa on the couch, wrapped in a blanket as she watched an animal documentary on TV. Her eyes flickered over to him in surprise. “Learn anything good?” Heinz asked, settling on the cushion next to her.

“Echidnas lay eggs,” Vanessa replied, watching the screen intently as a CGI model of echidna anatomy was displayed. “And they’re monotremes.”

“Monotremes are weird. Are they birds or mammals? Guess nature can’t make up its mind,” Heinz shrugged.

“I’m trying to watch,” Vanessa said, turning up the volume.

Heinz found the program a welcome distraction from his thoughts, and they both soaked up as much information as they could about the echidna’s diet.

“-visiting the Sydney Wildlife Preserve after the break!”

Of course, it would cut to commercial when he was hooked. But he needed to take the opportunity.

He grabbed the remote, muting the TV when a car advertisement popped up.

“Hey, sometimes things tumble out that I don’t really mean. At least, I don’t think I mean them but the other person thinks I do and it leads to an entire mess that goes on for how long and-“ his foot thumped against the coach in frustration.

Just say it already!

“What do you think I’m trying to do?” Heinz snapped.

Realizing that Vanessa’s expression was a mixture of confusion and fear, and how she didn’t know he was reacting to a voice in his head, Heinz sighed and counted to three before he spoke again.

“I was never mad at you, sweetie. You caught me by surprise,” he admitted. “Didn’t mean to make you think that way.”

Vanessa drew closer, resting her head on his leg. “It’s okay. I forgive you.”

He hadn’t said it yet and she already forgave him? She was seven though. Did grudge-developing traits appear later or something?

“Sorry,” Heinz said.

She scowled up at him. “Didn’t you hear me? I said I forgive you.”

Unable to resist teasing her, Heinz smirked. “I think I might be going a little deaf.”

“Daaad!” she complained.

Heinz laughed at her childish pout. She tried maintaining it for a few seconds, but it soon gave way to giggling. Then her eyes landed on the TV screen. She clambered over his leg for the remote, Heinz wincing as her hand dug into his skin.

Vanessa unmuted the TV, and a saccharine pop tune played. On-screen, two girls strapped their dolls in a stroller and walked around the house. She paid rapt attention, her mouth open in amazement. She’d never been this interested in dolls before. She usually gravitated to coloring utensils. She liked hogging the darker colors for herself while leaving him with the lighter ones that barely showed up on white paper.

Heinz suspected she did it on purpose.  

“Search for the perfect doll, Mary McGuffin! Now available at a store near you!”

“See, Dad? Can you buy me that doll please?” Vanessa begged. Her eyes were wide and pleading. “You’ll be the world’s greatest dad if you do!”

“World’s greatest dad?” Heinz echoed, knowing he didn’t deserve the title even if he did buy the doll. Yet his ego preened at the idea.

He’d already made so many mistakes raising Vanessa, and she wasn’t ten yet! Sometimes he had trouble recognizing her if she wasn’t wearing black or another dark color, and too often he thought she was hurt when she wasn’t actually hurt.

Some father he was.

But Vanessa thought he deserved it. She believed he could do it. And all it took was a little doll.

“How about we go to the mall tomorrow and look for this…Terry McGuffin?” Heinz suggested.

“Okay! And it’s Mary McGuffin,” Vanessa corrected. Her smile didn’t fade though.

That had to be proof he was doing something right.

When Vanessa’s attention returned to the echidna documentary, Heinz used his phone to look for an image of the Mary McGuffin doll so he had something for reference. There were a ton of dolls out on the market and they all looked the same to him. There wasn’t anything that made Mary McGuffin stand out.

Blonde hair, green dress, cutesy appearance. Fairly standard.

He scrolled down further, and the pictures changed from promotional material to screenshots of news bulletins.

FIGHT IN SEATTLE OVER MARY MCGUFFIN DOLL: TWO INJURED

DANGEROUS HOLIDAY SEASON! HOTTEST DOLL SPARKS CRAZE

TOY STORE WORKER HOSPITALIZED AFTER BEING TRAMPLED AT OPENING

Vanessa was too engrossed in the documentary to notice what he was reading. Heinz set his phone down, a sinking feeling in his stomach.

This could go well and he’d be the World’s Greatest Dad, or this could go horribly wrong and he’d be the World’s Greatest Blunder of a Dad.

But for Vanessa’s sake, he had to try.

A/N: Ferb mentions the fighting over Mary McGuffin caused it to get pulled from market, so I thought it would be fun to include a little of that here. In the US (I don’t know what happens in other countries), typically around Black Friday up through Christmas, the media bombards us with headlines about how some people get injured cause of toys, towels, TVs, or any other product you can name. Sometimes they get hospitalized, others get arrested. On rare occasions, people get killed.

Be nice to your retail workers and don’t do this.

Before Perry, Heinz probably talked to his reflection a lot. Or the empty air. Or inanimate objects. Also does the thing where you fill in the other side of the conversation too.

[therewasabrowncrow]

New Year Update! Lockdown #2:

Last July we moved to a new place in Leith-- this is literally the second place we saw, the first we couldn’t visit- it had a virtual tour option only. We stood outside that building and speculated about our lives inside, our future room facing a freshly excavated burial site nearby where the tram line would go, and thus, we bounced.

This second place faced the tram line too- the main road and shops (now almost all shut) but we were at least indoors looking out.

This north facing room is my home studio for now. I have imagined this to be a working studio for at least two people so consider this an open invite

I am very happy with it, I came here in January with a motherboard, power supply, a fan and a flatbed scanner --Don’t buy an expensive laptop they said, assemble a desktop--it’s so much fun, they said-- I don’t regret the decision to not get a laptop now

Since the entire room was built during lockdown a lot of it depended on delivery and it took more or less 6 months. I still need to add an overhead rig to attach a camera so I can make more Earthsea fan art! Unfortunately my cheapo tripod broke and my Earthsea feed is stalled. Now that we enter proper lock down 2 I’ll wait and see until March what happens. 

I was not able to pay towards any rent this year and my partner had to manage from his first full time job at the university but I was able to save and pay towards internet and utilities for all of next year (still not enough to half the rent yet) I also have enough to pay off a debt finally.

I got my first paid project before I moved here, from a classmate-- a short animation! I remember sitting in Calcutta with no equipment trying to figure how to put it together but I had a self initiated project from summer 2019 that I pitched to them and it worked! I could buy enough time for me to travel end of the year to the UK. My partner had already managed to find a place for us to house sit while the owners were away on sabbatical.

Luckily one of the owners of the house is a professional sculptor so I had access to art materials but I already had a portable mono print kit with me and I was able to put together at least two frames per scene in loop.  By now I had the CPU case  and Monitor in place (thanks to the owners who let me use it).

The film was done! It also made it to a few selections this year, thanks Helmie!

During this time I was working with Nia Thandapani on a STEM facilitator manual for Quest Alliance. She was making a workbook designed for girl students that look into representation, goals, dreams, and coding basics. She approached me after seeing the icon work for A Cloud Called Bhura and another illustrator on this project.

Pages from the book:

During this time Amphan was raging in Bengal and Assam. The little veranda garden I made for ma before I left was washed away.

Now it was summer. I had the opportunity to work with Numbi Arts on a more or less retainer until end of the year. I knew about Numbi before I left UK three years ago when I volunteered to document some of their live events. The Numbi projects were a blessing

This year Numbi were working to build a Somali Museum and they were able to successfully raise the funds. I am excited to see how it shapes up. I made visual comms (posters, insta ads etc) for their events-- mainly for Your Mother tongue is Gold. Thanks to Numbi I got referred to another community project which will start shortly.

I had a few projects with Storyweaver. One was in the works since 2019.

Written by Yamini Vijayan Your Body is Yours has been a really interesting project -- in the middle I was fully giving up because I didn’t think I had enough maturity and knowledge to visually interpret consent and boundaries. But reading up and questioning oneself during lockdown helped. I am actually looking forward to seeing more books on consent and personal boundaries by others.  When I made my zine about periods I was told that there were more than enough projects on periods. I see literature and art about periods that I failed to address in the zine-- so it’s never enough!

The other was also based on body and anatomy art directed by Snigdha Rao who is my NID animation classmate. I really enjoyed our brainstorming and I am quite happy with the way we interpreted the texts

Towards the end of the year I got to work on a very simple book about anatomy again..this time a chilli plant written by Radha Rangarajan

I had a few quick editorial projects with Current Conservation:

The first one of the year was made with Clip Studio. As you can see I used every brush in the arsenal to show off -- this was me saying fuck you to Photoshop forever so I spent a lot of energy to perfect this. Rookie mistake.

Later in the year, I use another technique where I locate a theme in the text and try and find organic materials that best compliment it. I then scan or mono print the objects/material and use them as a digital collage. This direction works very well when timelines are tight and usually foreground the main theme of the story quite well.

I have been building a library of these textures and scans. They are free to download and remix from my Gumroad account.

I used this technique for Moo Dunnit by C.G. Salamander

The story is a case of missing vegetables so the mono print of corn, peas, strawberries, dhaniya, as base of the illustrations really helped.

By this time I was going in and out of it with the pandemic and the Lockdown both here and in India. So there were lots of apology emails to the editor and finally I just sat down and finished in one go. I don’t think I have been able to relocate myself fully from the anti CAA-NRC protests in Calcutta. Some scenes will remain.

I worked on two documentaries. One was Crutch and the other was Moving Upstream: Ganga.

Crutch had been in process for the last seventeen years! I met the directors Chandler and Sachi when I was in CA back in 2017-- the time I dropped next door to borrow a lighter from Chandler :P and told him that I do animations that “explain complex stuff” which fit the bill on what they were looking for: Someone to animate the insides of a pelvic joint.

I had a small tester project with them before I got signed up on this project. We had a sit down with the team and I had the chance to meet the artist Bill Shannon on whom the film is based. I will share more scenes from the film shortly. A large chunk of my studio costs came from this project, so yay

The other documentary was with Veditum about their river walk. This film also took some time to happen and I was approached when the team were already finishing up with their edit. I met Siddharth when I was in Calcutta-- we had been in touch via Insta for years. It is always exciting to meet your social friends IRL and I was thrilled to be part of this project.  They were very clear about the direction so it was easy to put my bits into the film--Mostly animated overlays. I will share the trailer shortly!

We contributed my bit from the project to Association SNAP for Ramzan Ration Kits and the WB Emergency Relief Fund.

End of Autumn I got approached for a few projects-- one was for Story Museum with my classmate again. They were making small online storytelling sessions on popular fairy tales. I made a few illustrations for them that my classmate animated. It wasn’t extensive animation work, as the budget was quite small but I had a lot of fun exploring different styles for each fairy tale

The first one dropped on Youtube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXTL6tkQRzk&feature=youtu.be

She also gave birth towards the end of the project--this meant that our project needed to be planned thoroughly ahead of the deadline.. and we did it!

The other project running parallel right now is due to end in February. This is another collaborative project with Falana Films based in Bangalore. We have a bunch of deliverables -- a series of films on STEM awareness for girls and I am doing the animation direction.

It took a while for me to come up with a specific look but by the time the script was written, it helped massively with the visual direction. Initially I found it quite hard to build a visual language that would explain STEM thinking without us explicitly pointing an arrow at things. So we decided to focus on the assembling and dissembling of objects, compositions etc. I am quite happy with the direction now:

I appreciate the commitment Quest took to be inclusive and get as many different participants on board, thanks to Falana

---

I wanted to make animations for a while and this year I had quite a few. I hope to make games next year. I made a bunch of fan art and WIPs and protest art and sketch notes this year, a lot of it made through bouts of different kinds of mental states.

I also joined local mutual aid and volunteer networks even though our socialisation was all online.

Ohhh did I mention the experience of applying for a visa in Brexit UK with an ongoing pandemic!

I wanted to make a living wreath for a family member and many who couldn’t make it during this pandemic -- out of all the projects, this took the longest and went through many iterations. This was in December and by now I felt tired and worn out.

[shimadatales]

Prompt "When did the Time i spent with you become my whole world." Reflection Hanzo and his Fiancée s/o - he must be Happy and in a Healty Relationship :)

Gotit! Wrote a little bit about how the relationship started as well though, hopeyou don’t mind. It starts out a little angsty, but fluff is guaranteed at theend! I put it in a read more, as it got a little too long to post on the dashboard itself.

Youwere his lifeline, never had he thought he would ever find the right path againbut he had and he was beyond happy to be able to make a new start in life.Thanks to you. Getting close to the stoic archer had been very tough and hardin the beginning, at times you almost felt like giving up as he kept pushingyou away, not feeling deserving of your attention. You however, knew better andkept on gently encouraging him, not giving in to his self-pity. He often feltirritated and confronted at the start, which led to many arguments between thetwo of you. He truly could not understand why you wanted to be around a personlike him. A person who was filthy, a living monster walking upon earth who hadnothing to offer except for death and sorrow, or so he convinced himself.

Itpained you every day to see how this man kept torturing himself for themistakes he made in the past, not allowing himself peace as he had already committedto his sins by ten years of isolation. You were determined to make him see whathe was worth, that he was his own person and not a weapon created by hisfamily. A sick and twisted one, you always referred to. How could you abuse andmanipulate your own kin like that in order for a greater business. You were theonly person who understood why he acted the way he did and did not judge himfor it, as he was living under immense pressure and had been trained to becomea tool for war from birth, forced to ignore his own sentiments and emotions.Living like this can cause great harm to a person’s mind and you knew thatHanzo held deep regret for what he had done to his brother, as he turned hisback on his family’s legacy once he realized how perverted and erroneous itwas. Unfortunately, the warrior saw no hope for himself any more as he realizedit too late and was in no way ready once he heard that his brother was stillalive and doing well. He was the one who ruined his body and he could not standto live alongside that fact, seeing the outcome of his monstrous assault everyday while he stood beside him. Instead, Hanzo Shimada decided to go his ownway, not being able to forgive himself just yet. He needed someone else to helphim, a person who did not remind him of his grave mistakes and who wasn’t aspersonal to him in that matter.

Yougave Hanzo the time and space he needed, all while keeping a close eye on hismental health, even if he refused you it did not faze you in the slightest. Youwere never the one for giving up, especially not on the ones you deemedimportant enough and you stuck by his side, no matter how dark the times couldget. He had to admit that he admired you greatly for your persistent and caringattitude, being eternally grateful for you on the inside as he actually didfear that you would leave him one day despite your daily reassurances. Hanzoknew he was not the easiest person to be around, but you were strong enough tohandle him and was able to crack his shell a little by being calm and assertiveat the same time. You never stopped bringing him home-cooked meals, even if heslammed the door in your face when he was feeling particularly self-destructivethat day. You never stopped starting up a conversation with him when he waswalking through the mall on his daily grocery spree. You did not even leavewhen his harsh words would unintentionally cut through your many praises forhim. He simply did not know how to return your care for him, even if he sodesperately wished for it. This however, changed one night as he was at hislowest point. It was a rare evening, one filled with way too much sake as hewas trying to drown his sorrows with it once again. Hanzo was not usually aheavy drinker, but at certain times he felt that it was his only solution forescaping the terrors that kept him from his slumber. You were living close bythe Japanese man at the time, as you were working at the grocery shop he came byoften and was just getting off your night shift as you noticed a dim lightcoming from his kitchen. Most people would be asleep at this hour, as you livedin a quiet neighborhood and you knew the archer had a strict sleeping patternas well. The light would have been off a long time ago.

Feeling worry building up in your stomach, you decidedto give the man a visit. You knocked a few times on his door, but got no responsewhich only added up to your concerns. Noticing a window that was left open,probably for the summer heat, you crawled your way inside. You had to admitthat you felt a bit guilty for trespassing on his property, but you wanted tomake sure that he was unharmed. Making your way into the kitchen, you found thearcher hunched over the kitchen table, a bottle of sake loosely hanging from hisright hand. Quickly coming to the conclusion what he had been doing in themidst of the night, you slowly took him into your arms, removing the bottlefrom his hands. He reeked of alcohol and his hair was a disheveled, greasymess, but you didn’t mind. He needed you at the moment, as he was unable totake care of himself. While you comforted him with soothing words, Hanzogradually became sober again and raised his head from the crook of your neck tolook at you. A pained look of confusion mixed in with the effects of the heavy dosesof alcohol, plastered on his face. He tried to slur out the question about thereason of your current whereabouts, but you shushed him and told him he neededto rest. In his dazed state he started wondering, pondering, about why on earthyou were helping a murderer like him yet again. After all he had done to youeven! He had shouted at you, told you to get out of his sight, as he did notwant you to be tainted with his evil. Ignored your approaches and looked at youin the most disapproving ways possible, yet, you were holding him in your warmembrace at his most vulnerable moment, still without any grudges or judgments. Hanzoknew in that moment, that he loved you and he finally let you break down theiron walls he had built up through his lifetime. He couldn’t help but let out astring of ugly sobs as he lowered his head on your chest. Now it was time forhim to heal.

The next morning, you stayed by his side, as wasobvious and made clear to him you would not be leaving him alone any longer andthat he should stop his protests in trying to get you to leave. This time, thearcher did not complain and finally thanked you deeply for all the care you hadprovided him with all this time, apologizing profusely for his dishonorable behaviourafterwards. You simply smiled brightly at him, putting him in another dazedstate at your unconditional kindness. The two of you talked things out togetherthat day and went to work on creating a stronger bond with each other. Nolonger as much restrained by his self-loathing as he was before, Hanzo went outof his way to show his appreciation for you in means of making it up to you,hoping you would forgive him. You often told him it was unnecessary, as youwere never angry with him and was understanding of his actions, not taking thempersonally. The archer seemed to fall more in love with you every day as he gotto spend time with you and continually witnessed how your pure heart made his pastmournful days all the more brighter in the present. At one day, he had hit rockbottom and felt like it was time to confess his love for you, a challenge hewas not quite ready for but he took it on anyhow, not wanting to lose youeither. You had been such a big source of inspiration for him through all thistime, giving him a new purpose and even his own identity that he thought hecould never have, never was allowed to have. He had come to acquire newinterests and hobbies through your many recommendations and guidance, a fittingoutfit to go with them as well. It was all a bit too much sometimes, but younever stopped to remind him of how good the new attire looked on him, tellinghim he looked handsome and why the clothing in particular worked well with hisanatomy. Changing his hairstyle was the most difficult trial, as he had alwaysbeen proud of his traditional way of styling it, but you offered to help himout as usual and even came up with your own idea of a haircut that resembledhis current tradition by adding a modern flare to it. Hanzo was quite satisfiedwith the final result, a perfectly cut undercut resting on his scalp with atraditional samurai bun at the end. He had to get used to the piercings you gothim into for a while longer though, as he had despised them for a long timebefore, but you convinced him that it would look great with his new haircut andtattoo. Everyone nowadays wore them, even the highest businessmen andaccountants he heard you say. It was an universal fashion, suitable for anyone.The archer simply went along with all of your tips and ideas, but grew fond ofthem quickly over time, much thanks to your continuous support and he thankedyou properly for it as well, confessing his long harbored feelings for youafter some time.

You, who had been longing after the Japanese manyourself, confessed your feelings in return and surprised him by expressingyour happiness with a gentle kiss to his cheek. Hanzo’s face became a healthyshade of red and he couldn’t help but let out a hearty laugh of relief, engulfingyou in a strong embrace. Throughout your relationship, Hanzo often voiced hisgratitude for you being in his life to you, as well as smothering you incompliments and teaching you various things from his own practices. He lovedhow focused you were as you put his tips on archery into process, grinning atyou when you hit a perfect bulls-eye. As he was more a man of action, he oftenexpressed his pride for you by appearing behind you as you had your next arrownodged on the drawstring of the bow, teasing you with a tickling kiss to yourneck and holding your waist with both hands. You often playfully scolded himfor it, as it got in the way of your focus, but Hanzo found it rather amusingand only chuckled at you in response. Playful teasing had become a thingbetween the two of you as well and it made Hanzo smile more than he had in thepast decade. The fear of losing you sometimes crossed his mind again, as heoccasionally reflected on his past. He knew you would not leave him thateasily, as you were always so persistent to be at his side, but he felt like heneeded a final reassurance, a deeper connection if that were possible. Themarksman came to the realization that he wanted to spend the rest of his lifewith you, as he went over all of the points as to why he was so much in love withyou and marriage suddenly became a very appealing thought. He needed you by hisside for eternity, for he feared he would crumble down again if he didn’t haveyour support and affection. Of course, he loved returning the same amount oflove and affection to you as well, as he was practically devoted to you and hadno interest in any other person whatsoever. He was a loyal man and was not fondof breaking bonds and starting another. Hanzo felt like it was time to act andprepared himself for the final step of your relationship, one that he hoped youwould walk with him. The day of his proposal, he found you reading a book whileyou were comfortably seated on your corner couch, not yet aware of his nervousstate. Hanzo had probably never felt this nervous before and he hated that hecould not control his emotions as well as he could when he was in battle as inthis moment. Not noticing his silent presence just yet, you didn’t look up fromyour book until Hanzo dramatically dropped to his knees before you, apparentlyfiddling with an object in his hands. Assuming what he might be trying to do,you gasped slightly and put down your book on the salon table, patientlywaiting for him to continue. The archer started speaking, his voice unsure andhoarse from the adrenaline running through his body. “Y/N” He started while strugglingto meet your gaze. “I know it is utterly foolish of me to even consider thepossibility of you, wanting to accompany a broken person such as myself, throughhis lifetime with your unconditional love as I wish to do for you.” You putyour hand before your mouth as Hanzo started to reveal an intricate silver ringfrom the small box he was holding before continuing with his speech. “However,if you would allow me to devote myself to you for the remnants of my life andcare for you with all of my heart, you would do me a great honor.” A shockedexpression appeared on the marksman’s face as he saw the salty droplets leavingyour eyes, afraid that he had said something wrong and that you wanted him toleave all along. However, he was unaware to the fact that they were tears ofjoy and you didn’t hesitate to reassure him as you leapt into his arms, almosttoppling him over the salon table. Through your euphoric state, you barelymanaged to squeak out a ‘yes’ and quickly wiped your eyes. Hanzo being the alltoo observant one, managed to calm down in the process as he saw your emotionwas out of joy rather than sadness and was already wiping away your tears withhis thumb. “Please, do not cry for me, my love.” He whispered to you, hardlybeing able to contain his own intense flow of emotions. The two of you joinedeach other in a sweet but passionate kiss and held each other close for sometime, Hanzo putting the ring on your ring finger afterwards, smiling as he knewit would fit you perfectly.

That night the two of you pampered each other with hushedwords of adoration and songs about sweet nothings, laying as close to eachother as possible, snuggling into each other’s sides. You were currentlycaressing Hanzo’s bare chest as he had his lips pressed to your hair,subconsciously giving you a kiss now and then. His tattooed arm was moving upand down over your hand which was placed on his left pectoral, massaging your wristand slowly moving on to your knuckles until he finally reached your fingers,where he fondly brushed over the ring that was being worn by the appropriate digit.Before sleep took him over, Hanzo let out a sigh of content. “When did the time I spent with you become mywhole world.“ You heard him murmur in your hair and a contentsigh escaped you in return. You told him you would always be with him and thatyou were his for as long as you lived, loving him greatly. Afterwards, you gavehim a final kiss on his chest before you both drifted off to the imaginaryrealm, hearts full with the love you had built up together.

[youreyesholdgalaxies]

The Consequences of a Sleepy Dan

Words: 1,711

Type: Fluff, sleepy, friends to lovers, reality, kissing, to break my writer’s block.

Summary: Dan fell asleep too late, rather too early, and now he faces the consequences in the morning. Though they aren’t all bad.

Read on AO3

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The light outside the dark clothed windows in Dan’s room woke him up far too early for his liking. He’d been up late the night before, his brain frayed from sleeping so much nowadays and he ended up diving into the world of human anatomy to learn about how the brain works. Interestingly he learned that the two hemispheres of the brain could be disconnected from one another and the person could still go on about their daily lives as if nothing had changed. Dan had found this fact so fascinating he ended up on his computer until the early hours of the morning when he finally called it quits for the night.

Dan stretched out his limbs, his back muscles stiff from his odd sleeping position. Slowly, Dan got out of bed and made his way towards the lounge as he yawned. He was still unbelievably tired, it must be only a few hours after he had went to sleep, he thought.

Dan’s feet scuffed the ground as he walked towards the living room, bleary eyed and mind foggy with facts about the brain. The door to the living room was open, and light from the television flowed into the hall as Dan turned the corner into the room, raising his arm to block out the too bright light shining what seemed to be directly into his eyes.

“Well good morning sleepy pants,” His roommate chuckled from the far end of the sofa, watching as Dan stumbled into the lounge with his Pokémon shirt tussled and hair curling from lack of straightening. Phil smiled up at the younger man, thinking of how adorable Dan looked in the late morning light as he finally raised from the dead.

Dan yawned in response, and free fell, hoping to hit the couch and not the hard wood floor. As luck would have it, he landed on the couch with an umpf as Phil giggled out at how tired Dan seemed to be.

“Didn’t sleep last night or something, Danny?” Phil asked returning to the coffee in his hand and directing his attention the television program about whales. Dan lacked to respond, so the two just stayed in silence for a few more minutes. Phil watching his program and Dan trying to actually wake up.

Dan eventually stirred and opened his eyes to look up at his best friend. Phil was sat with one of his legs up and his arm that was holding the coffee cup wrapped around it. He was leaned back and sipping on his coffee, his glasses hanging low on his nose and his hair pushed back in a quiff. His geeky pajama pants hung too high to cover his ankles, ‘a side effect to being a giant’ Phil always said. His space t-shirt hung loosely around his arms as he focused on the television. Dan smiled at the cute sight of Phil’s mesmerized face as he learned about the whales, eyes wide with wonder. Dan waited another moment before he stood up to go make himself some breakfast as he heard his stomach rumbling, praying that Phil had actually left him enough of his own cereal to eat this morning.  He stood for a moment and glanced back at Phil, just as Phil turned to see where Dan was going. Dan’s face lit up in a soft warm smile.

“I left you enough you know, I’m no monster.” Phil said with a grin that showed off his tongue that poked out the side of his mouth. Dan smiled and shook his head. He made to leave, but leaned down and pecked Phil on the lips because Dan could never argue that Phil Lester was always adorable when he smiled like that. He turned to leave and walked halfway to the kitchen when it hit him.

Phil and I don’t kiss. We’re not dating.

Dan went ghost white as he stopped dead in his tracks and shook his head, finally waking up fully as he realized his mistake. Why had he done that? He was almost sure his small crush on Phil was long gone by now, he was no longer that shy nineteen year old he used to be, he was an adult now and he realized that he didn’t need to be in a romantic relationship with Phil to love him. Although, he knew that his love for Phil was a little bit more than purely platonic. Regardless, it still does not disregard the fact that he and Phil don’t kiss each other. Anywhere.

He racked his brain trying desperately to remember Phil’s reaction to his foolish mistake. He searched and searched but couldn’t recall, mainly because he turned away and walked down the hall as soon as he had done it.

He actually face palmed his head and continued to walk towards the kitchen as his stomach growled again in hunger.  He also knew that if he waited much longer, Phil would get up and look for him.

As Dan reached the kitchen he tried to rationalize the situation with himself. He and Phil had always had a very odd platonic relationship. They would always cuddle and even share a bed sometimes. They had even said I love you a few times here and there throughout their long history together. Sometimes, during scary movies, they would cuddle on top of each other, intertwine their legs together and grip their hands together as if their lives depended on it. They brought each other to their family holidays and their family and friends always asked how the other was just as much as they asked the boy they were speaking with how he was. They were Dan and Phil. The close of close friends.

And sometimes if Dan would have a nightmare, where he would whimper and cry in his sleep, Phil would wake up to the sound of distress and come into to Dan’s room, crawl under the covers and pull Dan into his chest, caressing his head and soothing Dan with his light soft words.

Still, they didn’t kiss.

Dan poured his coffee and leaned against the counter as he thought of the ramifications of this. In all honesty, he didn’t really see a change in their relationship. He stayed like that for a while, until his cup ran dry and he really hungered for cereal.

Dan was so out of it, starring of into space that he didn’t realize that Phil had come looking for him as he had been gone so long and the flat had gone quiet expect for the narrator of the whale program that had since ended.  Phil was leaned on the counter next to the sink and as Dan reached over to put the now empty cup in the sink, still eyes dazed into space, he looked to find a soft smiled Phil there.

Dan blushed and quickly put the cup in the sink and moved to make a bowl of cereal for him to eat. Phil watched as Dan got out the need objects and as Dan reached for the cereal box. Dan poured the remaining cereal into the bowl but made an unsatisfied sound.

“Philllll,” Dan whined, forgetting to worry about the event that happened earlier that morning. Phil was in front of him and he wasn’t yelling or confused. He deducted that Phil didn’t get held up on it so he didn’t either. “You did not leave me enough for a satisfying bowl.” He moaned like a child.

“Well I’m so sorry.” Phil commented, shifting away from the counter. “How can I make it up to you?” He mocked as he got the milk out of the fridge for Dan, handing it to him as Dan turned to pour it into his bowl before handing it back to Phil, who placed it back into the fridge shutting the door then.

Dan spooned a heap of cereal into his mouth and chewed a bit before muttering, “You can’t. You’ve ruined it. I’ll never forgive you.” He shoveled more cereal into his mouth and watched as Phil rolled his eyes at Dan.

“Well shit. Guess you don’t love me anymore now huh?” Phil’s face changed from an adorable smile to a smirk. Dan choked on the mouthful of cereal he was chewing, surprised by Phil’s word choice. Phil was immediately concerned and took the bowl from Dan’s hands and set it on the counter before slapping Dan on the back hard, trying to help his friend.  

“Ohh! Phil not helping!” Dan gasped out as he successfully swallowed his mouthful of partially soggy cereal. “My roof of my mouth hurts now because dry cereal scrapped across it thanks to you.” Dan stated with his eyes narrowing at the man stood in front of him. The two giggled a bit before full on laughing at how ridiculous the situation was. Phil was watching Dan’s face as the tanned man calmed down, shifting his eyes to meet Phil’s.  

Dan’s eyes softened as they met Phil’s and their wide smiles faded into small soft grins. God, they were like their young 2009 selves again in that moment. But neither minded. In fact, Phil was determined to get it right this time.

“I’ll kiss it better for you.” Phil whisper, cheesy as it was, as he leaned into peck Dan’s lips. Dan’s eyes blew open wide as their lips meet. As Phil moved to pull away, ready to apologize, Dan’s hand wrapped around his waist and held him there, prolonging the kiss. The two kissed for a bit, nothing but sweet pecks broken up with soft smiles and giggles.

Sometime later, as they sat cuddled close on the coach, on top on one another, no horror movie playing. Finally more than friends, Dan nuzzles into Phil’s neck and breaths in the smell of happiness, content in Phil’s arms.

Phil rubs down Dan’s back, pleased to finally be able to hold Dan close with no excuse. Dan giggles softly as he thinks of the long ago morning.

“What?” Phil asks softly into Dan’s hair as he leans down to peck it. Dan giggles a bit more, turning red in the face a bit before he mutters out a quiet yet confident.

“The roof of my mouth never got kissed better.”

[greysanatomyreaderinsertimagines]

Alex Karev Imagine

Alex Karev Imagine 2572 Words Suggestions: Song Shot! Song: Back to December by Taylor Swift Requested By: Anonymous Disclaimer: I do NOT own GREY’S ANATOMY, nor BACK TO DECEMBER, nor YOU!

I'm so glad you made time to see me. How's life? Tell me how's your family? I haven't seen them in a while. You've been good, busier than ever, We small talk, work and the weather, Your guard is up and I know why. Because the last time you saw me Is still burned in the back of your mind. You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

You left Alex over a year ago. Your heart was shattered over the death of your brother, and Alex wasn’t going to make it better. You’ve known him for a while, almost all of your life actually. You really KNEW him. When you started dating, people said it was going to happen eventually, they just waited for the right time. The moment you stepped into Seattle Grace Mercy West, you had a few thoughts on your mind, but they were little. You were an attending now, seeing as you left when you were a 5th Year Resident. Alex was in his 4th Year right now. You were 2 years above him. Seeing Dr. Webber and Dr. Hunt gave you some sort of relief, because they would make you very busy, so would Dr. Shepperd, seeing as you learned under him for quite a while. You entered the attending’s lounge and saw Dr. Bailey with her morning coffee. It was your first day at work. She looked up at you in surprise.

“(L/n)!”

She got up and hugged you a bit, then let you go.

“I thought you were in San Francisco,” She gave you a worried look.

“I came back. I missed Seattle’s weather. San Francisco was nice, but here is nicer. How are you? How is everyone,” You asked.

“Everyone’s doing just fine. From What I heard, one of the best Neurosurgeons in the world is now attending our hospital with Derek Shepherd. You’re boosting our morale.”

“Please, I’m merely a new employee. Let’s just say that. I’ll see you, I have to get changed and go meet Dr. Shepherd on a case he received.”

You changed into the new navy blue scrubs and walked around. Everything has changed, maybe for better or for worse. You don’t know. You heard voices and turned your head.

“Derek why can’t I see now?”

Meredith Grey. A familiar woman you’ve shared calls with over the past year when you were in Seattle.

“Because my partner isn’t here yet-. No, wait, here she is now.”

Derek looked at you and gave you a familiar trusting smirk. You walked over, hands in your lab coat pockets, something you did a lot, sort-of like a quirk.

“Yep, I’m here. What’s the case Dr. Shepherd? I’m itching for a new fix,” You gave him back the same trusting smirk he gave you.

“(Y/n)!”

Meredith hugged you a bit and let you go.

“What happened in San Francisco? You haven’t talked to me in weeks!”

“I’ll tell you later at lunch, I promise. Now, if you’ll excuse me, your husband and I are going to get started. Shall we?”

You seemed more mature than a year ago. You were more calm and collected, rather than jumpy and excited for a case. Some part of you wanted to still be that girl, but she was gone now.

“Mer, we need you in the E.R.”

You turned your head and saw him… It was Alex. He stared at you and you stared right back at him.

“Hi,” You said, before following Dr. Shepherd.

“Have you seen him since you left,” He asked you.

“No… I left him out of fear Dr. Shepherd. Besides… It doesn’t matter. I’m better. I learned from my mistakes. And I’m back. That’s what matters. Scans please?”

At lunch, Meredith and Cristina looked at you.

“Alright, how juicy was California? Any hot doctors,” Cristina smirked at you.

“No, I’ve been to myself.”

“Doesn’t sound fun.”

“The surgeries were fun.”

“What happened in San Francisco that made you leave,” Meredith asked you again.

You leaned forward. Alex was in surgery, which left you to a shaky sigh of relief that he wasn’t here.

“An accident. It was a terrible accident. It was a few months ago, it was… a full trauma. 50 Dead, 73 minorly wounded. 43 were deadly. Total: 166 casualties. There were too many doctors, too many hurt, and I was a doctor on call. My Attending looked at me and gave me the straight news. ‘Tonight, you’re performing your own surgeries. Don’t call me in to help you, because I won’t. These will be your mess-ups. Understand?’ I said yes. I took my boards and passed them 2 weeks before. Remember? I told you I passed. Anyway…”

You clasped your hands together. Your elbows rested on the table, supporting your upper body. You looked… traumatized.

“I assisted a lot of people… and I mean a lot… Out of those 43, 39 of them were brain casualties… And out of those, I did all of them. My attending was having sex with someone, and didn’t mind me a bit. The Chief of Surgery, she walked up to me, placed her hand on my shoulder, and asked where was he. I shrugged, fear coursing through my veins. ‘He said he was doing something important. He told me not to bother him, he wasn’t going to help me anyway.’ She nodded. I remember every specific detail that night. She found him in the ON-CALL room, and there was only 2. They were on the opposite sides of the hospital. She found him in the ON-CALL room with a loud moaning girl that sounded like nails scratching against a board. She brought me with her and told me to stay with her. Probably because I did a good job, I didn’t know, and I didn’t care at that moment.”

You drank your coffee and sighed.

“The Chief was his wife. He was having an affair with the head of another department. He was fired, for leaving me with most of the casualties. He was the only neurosurgeon in the hospital. Across town, they had 3 neurosurgeons. The Chief offered me the job, because I those patients lived under my care. I accepted, taking the Head of Neuro’s spot. A few days later, they got a divorce. He was out of a job, couldn’t get another, and she had all of his money. It ended pretty well.”

You shrugged.

“But a few weeks ago… Everything changed.”

You looked out the window.

“I was with a couple of new friends, they weren’t doctors, we all were having a nice time… that’s when shots were thrown in the air. I ducted under the table and shivered. I heard 3 thumps and turned. My friends had bullets in their heads. He was close. I heard him take a sip of the beer the guy next to me had. He staggered around, shooting a lot of people in his sight. Police got him and took me in for questioning. I was terrified. So… I fled. I stopped talking to anyone and everyone and went to Seattle, first place I could think of. So… Really… I’m okay now… I guess…”

You shrugged again, sighing. Part of you wanted Alex back, and part of you wanted to get away from the harsh life of San Francisco.

“(Y/n)-.”

“I told you for a reason, so don’t ask and don’t give pity. A lot of people have given me pity.”

You checked the time.

“My Patient’s lab results should be done, I’m off.”

So this is me swallowing my pride, Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night," And I go back to December all the time. It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you. Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right. I go back to December all the time.

You ran into Alex in the hall. He took a good look at you. You looked away. Your heard was in your throat. You were going in a different direction.

“(Y/n).”

You didn’t want to start crying.

“Yes?”

You wanted to sound normal, but the slight crack in your voice just took that away from you. It didn’t seem long before he walked up to you.

“…I’m… I’m sorry.”

Alex never apologized much, this made you feel a bit special. You turned and looked at him.

“Sorry? …You don’t need to apologize. I’m the one that’s at blame here. I left. So… Stop saying you’re sorry. I’m the one that is. I came back. I’m the one to blame.”

You went into the elevator, leaving him there in shock. You leaned back against the wall, remembering everything Alex did for you.

“(Y/n).”

“Yes?”

“I got the stuff you asked for.”

“YAY! White Chocolate is the best!”

“I don’t see why you wanted White Chocolate.”

“I gonna make White Hot Chocolate! It’s almost Christmas, and I wanted to spice up the holiday flavor with my famous White Hot Peppermint Chocolate.”

“Oh, that’s right, you made that almost every year.”

“Yeah, almost. And my brother’s coming this year! I wanna make everything special for him! He’s my brother!”

You took that for granted. You should’ve stayed, then you wouldn’t be in this mess. You wiped your tears and took a deep breath.

I did this to myself, You thought.

You got out of the elevator and got your labs. You had to move on… But you still remembered last December. It’s around the corner, you know this. It’s the middle of November. December is around the corner.

These days I haven't been sleeping, Staying up, playing back myself leavin'. When your birthday passed and I didn't call. And I think about summer, all the beautiful times, I watched you laughing from the passenger side. Realized I loved you in the fall.

You honestly felt terrible. You couldn’t sleep. The haunting memory of San Francisco played in the back of your mind and replaced most of the good memories you had. You were depressed. It wasn’t a joke. You’d sit there at night, hoping you’d get out of this and sleep properly. That wasn’t the case. You were gone. You weren’t coming back. This new you was taking over the old you and you hated it. You were sick of it. You wanted to go back. You wanted to remember your childhood, all your laughs, your cheers, the moment you met Alex… Alex… you haven’t called him. He doesn’t know about any of this. What would he think? …Oh what would he think?

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye".

Last year was scary enough, and you took your time passing through all the dark days you had. Alex sheltered you through most of it until the end, and you left him without any warning. Guilt built up in your stomach and you wanted to apologize over and over again. That wasn’t the case.

So this is me swallowing my pride Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night." And I go back to December all the time. It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind I go back to December all the time.

December. You stood in the cold, your insomnia was getting worse. You couldn’t help it. It was getting very worse. You couldn’t help it. You avoided surgery for the holidays, when your parents were going to come down and stay with you until the day after Christmas. You were afraid of the worse. You staggered around the hospital with the goal and mind to keep up your work progress. You rubbed your eyes, dark circles hung around them, and people started to notice. Alex, started to notice.

“(Y/n).”

You jerked up in shock, turning your head.

“Yes?”

“You look dead.”

“I’m okay.”

It was a bit awkward between the two of you now.

“You don’t look-.”

“My parents are coming down. You should come by and say hi. They’d love to see you… maybe.”

You shrugged.

“They loved to see you. I don’t know now.”

I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile, So good to me, so right And how you held me in your arms that September night The first time you ever saw me cry.

He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you to his chest. You blinked twice.

“You’re not sleeping, are you?”

“…”

You nodded.

“I can’t,” You mumbled, just so he could hear.

“You can, you just won’t.”

“No… I can’t. I can’t. I’m hurt. I hurt too much. I’m afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

Maybe this is wishful thinking, Probably mindless dreaming, But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right.

“I’m afraid of San Francisco. I’m dead on the inside. It changed me. It changed me so much. I’m afraid to sleep. The memories haunt me. I ruined a man’s life in a few simple steps. In my mind, it was right, but it was so wrong then again.”

“(Y/n)-.”

“He almost killed me once. In a shooting, he almost killed me. That’s why I came back to Seattle. I was afraid still.”

You shivered.

“I’m still afraid.”

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't. So if the chain is on your door I understand.

He kisses your cheek lightly.

“You’re sleeping at home.”

“I’m okay-.”

“You’re not… I’m going to take you home, okay? You’re going to be fine. I’m taking you home, and you’ll be fine.”

“…Okay… I’ll go home.”

But this is me swallowing my pride Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night." And I go back to December... It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right. I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

Alex walked in, he had a bag in his hands. You looked at him.

“Sleep. When I come back, I’ll have a surprise for you.”

“Why?”

“Do it. For me. Please?”

You owed him that much. You shut your eyes, leaning back against your couch. The kitchen sounded busy. And the air smelled nice, too nice.

It was last December. It was crawling into the back of your mind. You loved those memories. December was the time of good memories. You loved them too much. You opened your eyes and saw it was 2 hours after you fell asleep.

I go back to December all the time. All the time.

You walked into the kitchen and turned.

“Is that what I think it is?”

Alex looked up at you and smiled.

“I tried.”

He held up a cup to you.

“My White Hot Peppermint Chocolate…”

“Yeah, I made it for you. I’ve been trying, and your mother gave me the recipe.”

“Why?”

“So you wouldn’t leave me this time.”

You looked up at him.

“…”

“I hope this keeps you from leaving again.”

“…I still love you… So I won’t. I’m not leaving again.”

“I love you too.”