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certaimromance · 7 months ago

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𝜗𝜚 So Close, Quantico.

Post prison Reid x Fem!reader

Read part one here!

Summary: A strange visit to the prison ends with an unexpected confession of love and makes you run away again. You were ready to leave, but maybe this time he'll make you stay.

Words: 2,5k.

Warnings & Tags: literally none, just drama and sweet love+emily being a bestie. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).

Note: I didn't expect to be asked for a second part because I'm still new here and I don't think anyone will read me (intrusive thoughts lol), but here I am giving it to you because Spencer needs a happy ending!

Just as you sat down and pulled out a travel magazine to read while you waited for your flight, you got a call from Emily. You frowned and were confused for a few seconds until you remembered that you hadn't told her that you were going back to London so soon and that the possibility of having a drink together would not be fulfilled. You hadn't even said goodbye in person, and it was only now that you realized it.

You hadn't noticed anything after working on Spencer's case for four days straight and losing your mind over it. It was the first time you hadn't seen your client or personally briefed him on the progress of the investigation, and that impersonality made everything strange, but you knew he didn't want to see you, and you weren't going to push him. At least you managed to get him released on parole after you found some evidence of third party involvement in his alleged crime. And as soon as you were informed of this decision, you assigned a trusted lawyer to the case, booked a flight, and packed your bags.

“Don't hate me, but I'm about to catch a flight and I forgot to tell you.” You said quickly as soon as the call started and you could hear a sigh of shock from the other end.

“You what? Why? You just got here and we haven't even had a chance to talk and drink wine.” She replied after a few minutes of processing the information.

“I'm really sorry, Ems. I have things to do at my office and my work here is already done.” You tried to explain as you fiddled with the hem of your skirt. You didn't like the idea of looking like you were running away again, even if you were. “I really have to go.”

“You have or you want?”

The question alone made you sigh and question being best friends with a profiler. It was impossible to hide your feelings and thoughts from her.

“It doesn't matter...anyway, you can visit me whenever you want, I have plenty of wine at home.” You spoke trying to avoid her question at all costs. “Penelope and JJ can come, girls' night out and all.”

“And Spencer...?” She asked in a cautious tone, knowing that this was a complicated subject. After all, Emily was the one who had to put up with your sighing and crying over Reid for years.

“He's not a girl.”

You could almost see her roll her eyes at your answer, and by the tone of her voice when she told you she meant it, you knew she did.

“Seeing him was as strange as I imagined, but confirming that he doesn't want to see me and that he hates me felt worse than I thought. I have to face this from a distance.” You tried to explain and put into words the feelings you were avoiding.

“He doesn't hate you, and he definitely wants to see you.” She corrected you, making you frown.

“What? Please don't try to make me feel better with emotional profiling tricks.” You said wearily, looking up at the big screen with the flight schedules and realizing that it was still more than half an hour before your plane was due to arrive.

“These are not tricks. Seriously, if he didn't want to see you, he wouldn't have asked me for your hotel address yesterday.”

Your heart stopped at that moment, and any attempt to focus your attention on something else, or even keep your cool, failed. You didn't want to get your hopes up again and sound like a fool for getting excited about something so minimal.

“I'm not even at the hotel anymore, and he never went there.” You tried to control your nervousness and conceal how this information had thrown you. “Ems, my flight arrives in 30 minutes, I have to leave you, but I promise to call you more often and visit you sometime. I love you.” You ended in a chaotic way.

“Well, me too. But don't disappear, I'll wait for that girls' night.” She replied, defeated by your insistence, and paused before speaking again. “And tell Reid we have a case in Utah, we're leaving in 30.”

“What?” You asked immediately, not understanding if you had heard wrong, but she had already hung up.

You looked up again, expecting to see the central screen with the schedules, but instead of seeing your flight number in bright letters, you saw Spencer's brown eyes searching for you a few feet away. You had to blink several times to confirm that it was him and that you weren't hallucinating, and only then did Emily's last words make sense.

Was he here to see you? Was it possible?

You remained motionless in your seat, as if bound to it, and watched as Reid walked at a brisk pace straight towards you. It was the first time you had seen him since that chaotic visit to the prison, and you still had a bittersweet taste in your mouth from that interaction. He was wearing a suit now, probably the clothes he wore to work, and he looked like he had run several miles, judging by his disheveled hair and labored breathing.

“What are you doing here?” You asked as soon as you had him in front of you, rising from your seat to be at his height even though you were several inches shorter.

“I needed to talk to you for days and you never came to see me again.” He explained, still trying to regulate his breathing after searching for you all over the airport. “About what you told me before you left.”

“I didn't come back because you made it clear that you didn't want to see me, and I respected your wish.” You explained as calmly as you could. “And as for what I said, there's no need to talk about it. It's outdated and I shouldn't have brought it up.”

You saw him sigh and fidget chaotically for a second before he spoke again. He seemed nervous, as if he had rehearsed the conversation a thousand times in his mind.

“I need to talk about this. You told me you were in love with me...I just found out and I couldn't stop thinking about it, it's stuck in my head because you never told me.” He tried to speak slowly, but it was as if the old Spencer you once knew had reappeared and started babbling. “You said you were leaving because you were offered a better position and you were bored with this job, you never mentioned that...that you liked me.”

“My flight leaves in less than 30 minutes, I can't talk now.” You tried to get out of the situation, but he gently grabbed your arm before you could escape. And with a sigh, you spoke again. “Good. I never told you how much I liked you, but that doesn't change anything.”

You pulled away from his touch and putting your hands on your bags so you could leave soon.

“It changes. It really changes everything.”

“What? How?” You dropped the suitcases and looked at him in confusion.

He remained silent for a few seconds, looking at the clock on the bright screen above you, trying to use the little time he had to talk to you and express himself. He felt the words catch in his throat, and it was a disappointment after having only you as the protagonist of all his thoughts since you had visited him, pushing away any possibility of holding a grudge against you because the only thing on his mind was doubt about what would have happened if he had known.

Spencer had spent so many years locked in hate, trying to hold a grudge against you for leaving, leaving nothing but torturous memories in an eidetic memory and a ridiculous need for a hug from you every time things went wrong. And suddenly you showed up, looking as beautiful as ever, saving him from a traumatic experience and delivering information he never expected.

He had only been free for a few days and yet everyone looked at him differently, from pity to fear, knowing that prison had changed him forever. But not you, you looked at him as if he were the same as always, even though years had passed and you had only seen his worst face again.

“If I had known...if you had told me I...” He stammered, trying to find some courage to stop feeling like the same young man you had left. “You would know that I felt the same way.”

At that moment, you almost had to sit up again because of the impression his words had made on you. You closed your eyes and opened them again to make sure that you were not hallucinating and that it was really the one you had been dreaming about for years who was telling you that he also felt something for you before.

“You don't have to lie...no, don't lie to me like that just because I got you out of jail.” You started to blurt out, completely denying the strong beating of your heart.

“I appreciate you doing this, but I won't lie to you. I could never do something like this.” He assured you, looking you straight in the eye for confirmation. “And if you don't believe me, I can tell you exactly when I first realized I liked you, it was November 8, 2005, it was 11:35 in the morning because I looked at the clock. You had completed your third month with us and you went to talk to Gideon and Hotch because you wanted to get out in the field and stop doing paperwork. You were so nervous about getting fired that you grabbed my hand before you left, but you didn't notice because you were busy listening to my comments about your performance. I thought it was nothing and that I was just nervous because you were the only one I was talking to and I was afraid of losing you, but before you left you smiled at me and I knew everything was going to be okay. Again I thought it was nothing...but every time things went wrong I thought about it, I still do because that smile is probably the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.”

“I...” You tried to speak and formulate even one word, but it kept getting stuck in your throat.

“Wait, I'm not done yet.” He interrupted you, saving you from a possible babble. “I never told you because I thought you didn't feel the same way and that you saw me as a younger brother to be taken care of. I'd rather have you as a friend than not have you at all, so I left it in my mind as an impossibility and I thought I was completely over it until you left and I lost my mind...and it's happening again.”

“God, I need to sit down.” It was all you could say at the time as you tried to process everything he said.

You sat down with his help and watched him relax a little as he finished speaking, as if he had waited a long time to say it and had practiced it many times. You felt your heart pound after years of dreaming of hearing those words from him. You had never imagined a life where Spencer felt anything more than friendship for you, and now it was real. He had loved you as much as you wanted, and you had been too blind to see it before other people came along.

“I know it's been years since you got over me and that I was a jerk to you when you came to see me, but you need to know that ever since I saw you I couldn't stop thinking about what my life would have been like if I had told you from the beginning.” He spoke again, trying to look closely at you to decipher what was going through your mind. “I'm sorry, I'm really sorry if this has upset you or...”

“Do you know how long I've waited to hear you say that?” You said, still surprised, taking the opportunity to get up from your chair.

“I'm sorry, I know it's too late and now you're going to leave again, but this time I'm here to ask you not to do it again.” He came over and took you by the hands, bending down a little to be at your level, as if he was begging you. “And I know it's selfish because you have to go and you have a life away, but I really...”

“Spencer.” You stopped him before he started babbling, and he looked at you anxiously for your answer. “It's not too late.”

“Really?” He asked, as if he could not believe he had heard you correctly.

“Really.”

You gave him a small smile of affirmation and felt your eyes glaze over with emotion as you felt him release your hands and grab your cheeks to wipe away the stray tear that had fallen. The look of tenderness he gave you along with his touch made you tremble.

“Are you planning to kiss me already or are you going to wait 13 more years?” You spoke without even thinking.

He didn't have to think once before closing the distance between you and fulfilling the longing that had been in your mind for so long. You couldn't say anything because his lips had been on yours before and the first contact had almost made you melt. His hands were still on your cheeks, but one of them went down to your waist to pull you closer and make sure you were real.

Your lips tasted like cherries and that made him smile immediately in the middle of the kiss, thinking that you were still wearing the same lipstick that you had applied in front of him so many times and that he had only dreamed of tasting. Finally, the reality was far better than any fantasy and the softness mixed with the intensity of a repressed love during the kiss because finally the stars had aligned for the two of you.

“Are you going to go out on a date with me?” He asked as soon as you both parted.

“I have a girls' night out first.” You replied, letting it be known that you were tired of running away. “But I'd love to go on a date with you.”

He came over and gave you a quick kiss before you could say anything else. You returned the kiss and then pulled away, putting your arms around his neck.

“You're kissing me like this before the first date?” You joked, still trapped in the bubble of love you felt you were in.

“I don't intend to wait any longer now that I have you here.” He responded by giving you a kiss on the head and wrapping his arms around you to hug you. “So please don't go away for 6 years again.”

“I don't plan to go anywhere now.”

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader

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ellouchi · 2 months ago

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Jimmy wedding/marriage headcannons (sfw (see disclaimer)/gn)

Disclaimer: abusive and toxic relationship, mentions of physical and sexual assault. Please read this work at your own discretion.

Side notes: OHHH LOOK AT WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST YESTERDAY AHAH...hah my bad. So this started out pretty tame, too tame for my liking. I wanted to get more toxic and miserable and finally I managed to write this. I'm very proud of it tbh lol. First part is alright but second part has things mentioned in the disclaimer. As per usual if I made a mistake or forgot to include smth lmk!!

Lighter scenario:

— Jimmy wouldn't bring up marriage, why would he really? Yeah you two may have been a couple for years but this man literally sees no point in marriage. For him, marriage was not about love — it was about benefits. This doesn't mean Jimmy is unable to love, he can, granted in a very convoluted hot and cold way.

— provided your relationship is on the healthier side, if you bring up the topic, initially Jim would genuinely think you were joking. You weren't. You had to repeat yourself for him to finally consider your words, carefully.

— the man was torn: on one hand, of course you would want to marry him, on the other hand, why did you want to marry him? Jimmy will flat out ask a single "why". He expects something pragmatic, realistic but you give him nothing but a look full of love. Because you loved him, wanting to swear to remain by his side for eternity to come. It was corny, Jimmy couldn't understand how you didn't feel an ounce of embarrassment and yet... Jimmy looked away: dammit, how stupid you were. Now his mind was occupied with the thought of you being his spouse. Great....

— Jimmy would settle for a civil marriage, maybe a short trip to a chapel also. You must understand: this man chronically doesn't have money. You will either have a big proper wedding (which is highly unlikely, besides Jimmy doesn't even want it, he just has an idea that that's how it supposed to go), or just your signatures on the marriage contract. If you follow some specific religion pretty serious, he is willing to fulfil all needed procedures, but that's still bare bones.

— the surname thing can go two ways: either Jimmy insists that you take his surname or he takes yours provided he hates his family with burning passion. If your surname carries some status, definitely takes it, like no way he wouldn't. The idea of double surname weirds Jimmy out a bit but he would permit it if you used his surname more often.

— now, the ceremony: Jimmy will rent a rather chic costume. It's probably the first and last time you will see Jim looking so well groomed: his posture upright, hair slicked back and no traces of the stubble you came to adore. He looks like an eye candy, and even though the suit is not to his liking Jimmy felt all smug with the way you fawned.

— the image of you in your attire makes an impression on him too. Jimmy just stares at you shamelessly as always, he's not too generous with praise but his "wow" and a smirk tugging at his lips tells you all you need to know.

— Jimmy would struggle to find a ring for you. He was well aware he had to go to jewelry store, but the mental image of the employees' treatment of him made it excruciatingly hard. After several attempts, he finally found a decent store with an adequate selection of rings. The piece itself didn't have a diamond in it, but Jimmy was very proud of his find.

— no proper wedding didn't mean that there would be no celebrations. Together with none other than Curly you planned a tiny wedding party, Jimmy had already been suspecting that something was in the making. Despite anticipating the surprise, he had to admit he was looking forward to what you two had planned.

— Jimmy doesn't wear his ring, makes excuses like it's too tight or too loose or uncomfortable to wear but in reality he's afraid of losing it one way or another. He has to hide it from himself actually, just in case he was going to do something foolish.

— now that you're officially married, Jimmy will use his newly acquired status to his advantage. Whether it's legal dealings or winning petty confrontations, Jimmy is using you in many ways you aren't even aware of. This man truly felt like a winner after declaring to some jerk that he was your husband, not some random boyfriend.

— Jimmy will keep the little bride and groom statue that has been on the wedding cake, puts it somewhere on the shelf so anyone could see it. "See? That's you and me. Don't forget about it" he would remind you whilst pointing at it like a child.

— this doesn't end here however. Being your husband means having a silver of authority over you, even if you two are on "equal" standing. Gives Jimmy many opportunities to (un)consciously manipulate you or gaslight you into whatever he wants. "Maybe instead of listening to your "friends" you should be listening to your husband", "As your husband, don't I have a say in this situation?" and "Don't forget you choose to marry me, I didn't force you." are the most frequent ones.

— Jimmy still would struggle with the idea that out of all the people, you've chosen to marry him. He didn't have a high standing in society, a respectable job, or best of character he was painfully aware of that, just as you. During those moments of doubts, Jimmy would come over to you and hold you, possessively. You both swore to be with each other forever, there was no going back.

Darker scenario:

— if Jimmy thinks you're better than him, like you being more successful and respectable, he latches onto marriage like a starving wolf. There is no better way of keeping you to himself than marrying you, especially if you show the initiative. This man projects a lot of his insecurities onto you like it's his full time job. This creates constant arguments and fights, threats of divorce and tearful apologies.

— Jimmy wouldn't believe in spousal infidelity (if he does it, naturally). If you remind him he's a married man, who's married to you, Jim will become annoyed, hostile even, and ridicule you for being overly jealous. The whole marriage situation becomes more of ordeal to him than something of use, especially if you put pressure on him "for no reason". Jimmy's attitude will get worse and worse with time, if he previously didn't pull any weights into the your relationship, now he actively sabotages it.

— Jimmy normally doesn't have paranoia but he's very susceptible to it. Marrying him in order to ease his worries, like you leaving him, won't work and would make things worse, so much worse. Precisely because you're his spouse, Jim would monitor or outright stalk you. It will start with checking your phone, any written journals, receipts from purchases and will escalate to him wandering nearby your work and following you when you're out with your friends or family. Even at home, where the two of you live, Jimmy won't take his eyes off from you.

— paranoia with turn into controlling your every move. Jimmy would create some absurd narrative, stemming from his own insecurities no less, and would frequently accuse you of being unfaithful. At some point smiling at your phone becomes something you have to look out for unless you're prepared for a round of questioning. Retaliation would be met with even more aggression: do you think he's blind or stupid?

— since Jimmy is your husband, you must listen and obey him. Doesn't matter if you are too, or if you are the breadwinner, he is in charge of the household (like, the man barely contributes and when he does, likes to exaggurate his input). Jim loves feeling like he is in control so it's easy to stroke his ego simply by complying with whatever he says, but this will also inevitably trap you. From now on, Jimmy will tell you what to like and dislike, how to dress, whom to talk to and how to talk. With no retaliation from your side, he wouldn't be above getting physical with you, with time he would dehumanise you more and more. Yanks, pushes, slaps and finally beats you if you disobey or "act up". And worst of all Jimmy doesn't even register what he's doing to you.

— I'm not going to go into details, but I do want to bring up the fact that Jimmy would think it's okay to have sex with you whenever he wants. He believes that there is no such thing as "rape" in marriage, because why would you marry in the first place? Gropes you and uses dirty talk at semi public spaces and at home all the time, no matter the situation you're in. You're his spouse (property) after all.

— trying to plead to Jimmy's human side would be a futile attempt. He would remember all of your "cheating", your outbursts, cries and hurtful words towards him. Jimmy knows what you're plotting, you are making him furious with you to look like a victim when it's he who is suffering. You should be grateful he's not divorcing you, no one would want such an awful spouse like you.

— final point, the song for this relationship would be Mascara by Deftones (yes I'm a basic bitch)

#i have a feeling i will get shit for this but idrc #mouthwashing #jimmy mouthwashing #jimmy mouthwashing x reader #x reader

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