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theblogofdurin · 3 years ago

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Cloaked in Green || Chp.13: Into the Fire

word count: 3,200+

summary: the company debarks from Rivendell

warning(s): goblin-town, mentions of decapitation, fighting, vomiting, and prejudice. Also there is an obsessive amount of onomatopoeias

a/n: we switch pov. quite a bit in this chapter. I just really needed to get them all out of Rivendell. So here you all go! Enjoy! And please make sure to like and comment below!!

Thorin Oakenshield x fem!OC

Links for: chp.12, series masterlist, reader's guide.

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“I fear that is everything,” I spoke slowly as I told the four members of the council. “We are not sure of anything, it's just precautions, there haven't been tracks outside the Fells since the burial.”

Nodding, Elrond was now seated as listened to what I stood in front of them. Lady Galadriel smiled softly behind him at me, She always had a soft stop for me and Aragorn when she came to visit Elrond and-

“And you are now just telling us?” Saruman sneered at me, scoffing as he rolled his eyes.

Furrowing my eyebrows, “My orders on Arnor land have nothing to do with the council. My people are the ones the defeated the Witch-King, not you."

“Calm young one.” Lady Galadriel spoke softly in my head. Swallowing hard, I bit back my tongue, as Gandalf defended my decision.

“Let us examine what we know.” Saruman interrupts Gandalf, waving a hand. “ A single Orc pack has dared to cross the Bruinen. Footsteps are found outside of an ancient dwelling, A dagger from a bygone age has been found. And a human sorcerer, who calls himself the Necromancer, has taken up residence in a ruined fortress.”

Are they? I thought to myself No, they couldn’t be thinking- Though I have to admit if they are considering what I fear..

“It’s not very much, after all. The question of this dwarvish company” Rolling my eyes I stood there silently as I pushed all reasonable thoughts out of my mind of Saruman. He was more biased than Elves. Imagining myself hitting the wizard upside the head, made holding back a bit easier.

‘-However, it troubles me deeply. I’m not convinced, Gandalf; I do not feel I can condone such a quest. If they’d come to me, I might have spared them this disappointment-” That was it.

“But they didn’t come to you.” I spat, glaring at him. “Erthil~” Elrond spoke warning.

Shaking my head I continued “My apologies for speaking out of turn, Lord Elrond, but you all need to hear this, King Thorin and his company will march on Erebor, with or without your support. If it be their wish to do so."

Turning around to leave them, I was met face to face with Lindir as he panted running up the steps. I smiled to myself as I passed walking down the steps, hoping that Gandalf would not wait long to join me. “My Lord Elrond: the dwarves, they’ve gone.”

The company of Thorin Oakenshield are seen making their way back up the path they came by Aranea’s direction. However as the city below starts to fade from view, Bilbo is the one that hesitates.

“Everyone!” Thorin gathers their attention, “Be on your guard, we’re about to step over the edge of the wild. Balin you know these paths, Lead on.”

“Aye” Looking back, where Thorin could feel the pressure in his heart, he notices Bilbo lagging behind “Master Baggins! I suggest you keep up.” Though he felt a longing as well for entirely different reasons.

Aranea...his atamanel

Back in Imladris, the White council has already adjourned, leaving only two of the members at the pavilion, looking over as they watched the small figures below. Galadriel and Gandalf spoke quietly to each other, answering and asking questions back and forth. Till finally Lady Galadriel asked the question that she has wondered the most.

“ Mithrandir, Why the Halfing?”

Sighing Gandalf answered what he could , “I do not know. Saruman believes that it is only great power... ...that can hold evil in check." Shaking his head, the wizard continued. “But that is not what I have found. I have found it is the small things... ...everyday deeds of ordinary folk... ...that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of kindness and love.”

He smiled up at the Elf “Why Bilbo Baggins? Perhaps it is because I'm afraid... ...and he gives me courage.” Smiling back at him, Galadriel, looking at him knowingly. “You will follow them.” she stated not asked.

“Yes.”

Now with that twinkle in her eye she continued on, “You are right to help Thorin Oakenshield.” “Oh?” The wizard puzzled. “I am happy to say that your additions to the company might bring more benefit to everyone in the end.”

Sighing she added, “But I fear this quest has set in motion... ...forces we do not yet understand. The riddle of the Morgul Blade must be answered. Something moves in the shadows unseen, hidden from our sight. It will not show itself. Not yet. But everyday it grows in strength. You must be careful.”

Nodding Gandalf bowed slightly at the elf maiden but he turned to leave. Wanting to find the ranger before the others got too far ahead.

“Mithrandir. Do not be afraid of the journey ahead...

You are not alone.”

"Bloody Valor-" I let a few unladylike curses fly as I fought against the wind.

Gandalf who was behind me, either agreed with my choice of words or just didn't hear them as he just grunted against the wind and rain with me. I tried holding onto the top of my hood as we pushed on. Though it soon proved fruitless as my hair became sopping wet within a few seconds.

"They couldn't have gotten much farther in this storm!" I yelled at him so he might have a chance of hearing me over the thunder and lighting. The path up the Misty Mountains from the hidden passage was already treacherous during clear weather. The steep sides and narrow ledge, I silently prayed to myself that I didn't send them to an earlier grave. "They would've had to stop in a cave, especially with Bilbo and Oin!"

Looking back at the wizard, he nodded as he held on furiously to his staff and hat. "There is a cave less than another league ahead that they could've stopped!"

"But isn't that the-?!" I shook my head as I realized the high probability of me not sleeping again. The cave that Gandalf was suggesting was known very well to people who passed through often.. the entrance to Goblin-town. I had failed to mention this to Thorin and the others.

He was right . As we continued along the trail at a quicker pace. I hoped for best that they all still be in cave when we got there.

It was just such an obvious thing to me that I forgot about it.

Gandalf gestured up ahead "We can never know if we don't push on!"

Meanwhile deep down in the mountain. The goblins were searching the dwarves thoroughly ,throwing away whatever they found. Oin’s hearing trumpet is thrown in front of the group, were it is crushed underfoot.

Above them the Great Goblin spoke down awfully. “What Are You Doing In These Parts?" Not waiting for them to answer. "Speak!”

None Of The Dwarves Respond. They were as silent as ever, as they didn't know how to respond to the ghastly thing that sat in front of them

Sighing, already bored with them the Goblin King pointed “Well then, if they will not talk, we'll make them squawk!" He waved a hand about "Bring out the Mangler! Bring out the Bone Breaker! Start with the youngest.” he pointed at Ori, who was quickly pushed behind him by him.

“Wait!" Thorin yelled from near the center of the group. Not wanting anyone, anymore scared or injured. He stepped forward grudgingly as the Great Goblin laughed and coughed disgustingly at him

“Well,well,well, look who it is. Thorin son of Thrain, King under the Mountain.”

Rubbing salt in the wound, The Great Goblin bows exaggeratedly at Thorin.

“Oh," The thing paused, "but I’m forgetting, you don't have a mountain. " he squawked a laugh "-And you're not talking. Which makes you nobody, really."

The dwarves all started pushing and shouting again at the slime, which only made the Goblin King laugh more hilariously at them but Thorin only held up at hand, silencing them. This wasn't his first time being berated. He could handle this. Keeping a straight face as he stood staring

Finally catching his breath the Great Goblin slumped back into his throne as he pointed back at Thorin "I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head."

Seeing the confused look on Thorin’s face, the Goblin smiled "Just the head, of course…nothing attached." He continued hinting "Perhaps you know who I speak to… …an old enemy yours. A Pale Orc astride a White Warg.”

In disbelief Thorin shook his head. “Azog the Defiler was destroyed. He was slain in battle long ago.”

The Goblin giggled a noise like nails on a chalkboard. “So you think his defiling days are done, do you?" Turning to the tiny goblin mass in the basket next to him, he growled “Send word to the Pale Orc; tell him I have found his prize.”

Nodding and shaking his head the tiny goblin scrapes down the message on his slate; cackling, then pulls a lever, causing his basket to start sliding down a system of ropes and pulleys into the darkness.

Dodging Goblins, Gandalf and I were pretty much able to sneak up towards where we saw the others. I had to stop myself from gasping once I saw the almost broken face that Thorin held. Growling I pulled an arrow in from my quiver.

Looking back at me, Gandalf placed a finger over his lips and gestured for me to stay. Mouthing, he added "On my signal." He pointed at the nocked arrow.

I nodded and crouched farther down behind the gate of the parapet. Watching as Gandalf moved closer as he worked his way quietly through the maze of paths and bridges.

“Bones will be shattered,

I tried to just listen, keeping myself composed by not looking at Thorin on the wooden platform.

I wanted to cry, why did I want to cry? What did the Goblin tell him? I have seen frown’s grace Thorin’s face before, the dwarf practically had one permanentlu engraved on his lips, but none were as empty as this one.

Necks will be wrung!”

Blessed Be, I cringed. The creature monster, goblin thing was singing.

“You’ll be beaten and battered.”

-from the racks you’ll be hung.”

Lovely.

You will lie down here and never be found,

down in the deep of Goblin-town.”

Rubbing my ears, I sighed happily that the singing was over. Never have I heard such horrific singing-.

“ARAAAAHHHH!!!”

Started by the noise, I moved to glance over the edge to see the Giant Goblin cowering in his throne, pointing and screaming at the ground. Leaning over the edge a bit more, I noticed Thorin’s sword on the ground…ah brilliant, I groaned.

“I know that sword! It is the Goblin-Cleaver, the Biter, the blade that sliced a thousand necks.`` The goblins began holding down various members of the company, screwing the signal. I quickly nocked an arrow and pulled the string.

“Slash them! Beat them! Kill them! Kill them all! Cut off his head!” Aiming for the goblin that had Thorin in a chokehold, I released letting the arrow hiss through the air towards its target.

Thump! It promptly hit the goblin between the eyes, falling backwards as Thorin slipped from its grip.

Suddenly, there is a massive explosion of bright light; the sound goes muted as a shock wave rips through the area. Ducking back behind the ledge above, I held on to the rock face.

"Take up your arms! Fight!" I heard Gandalf yell. Turning around to head down towards the path, I was met with yelling goblins coming in my direction. Quickly firing arrows in their direction, hooking my bow around my body, and unsheathed my sword, slicing and blocking as I moved down the rocks and cliffs to the others.

“Cut the ropes!” I yelled, decapitating a goblin as I swung my sword behind me.

“He wields the Foe-Hammer!” The massive goblin shouted “The Beater! Bright as daylight!" More Goblins began swinging from ropes from Valor knows where.

Noticing some tied ends of ropes on makeshift railing, I slashed at the ropes as I watched them fall taking many Goblins with them.

“Bloody!”

I heard mixed yells of my names as I followed almost parallel with the others, ducking and kicking more goblins minions than I could possibly count as I maneuvered through the almost vast complex pathways, even head slamming a few of them, just to break through the massive thicket.

Clash!

“Stupid!”

Smash!

“So Many!”

Bang!

“Damn Creatures!”

Swinging and stabbing my sword, I concluded I would only get me so far on the path. Getting a chance to look down at the others, I panted and realized the way Gandalf and I came in wasn't much farther.

Spinning around, knocking and slicing at a few Goblins, I grabbed onto one of the ropes that could swing me across the cavern to the others.

“Here goes nothing,” I held on tight as I said a slient prayer to the gods before I promptly flung myself over the edge.

"Hurry!" He yelled over his shoulder one more time, as they began crossing. Suddenly the Great Goblin breaks through from underneath the bridge and pulls himself in front of the company.

“This way!” Gandalf yelled, ushering and pushing the others. "Come on!" He could see that they were approaching the long bridge between the two caverns.

Where was Aranea?

As they are were stopped, the company soon becomes surrounded as hundreds of goblins approach them from all available sides.

"Ow ow" the Goblin screamed and bellowed, making loud echoes through the cave system. Stepping closer, Gandalf swung his sword, slicing the Great Goblin in the belly; causing the monster to fall to his knees, clutching at the cut.

"You thought you could escape me?" The Great Goblin cackled at them before he starts swinging his mace at Gandalf causing the wizard to stumble into the others. "What are you going to do now, wizard?"

Gandalf huffed, straightened his rope and Leaped forward as he strikes the Goblin in the eye with end of his staff

"That'll do it."

Even more suddenly than the Goblin breaking through the bridge, there was scream as a Aranea appeared swinging from the darkness, letting out a very unladylike curse as her feet crashed into the debowled Goblin, pushing him over the edg as she took his spot on the bridge.

Plopping down in front of Gandalf where the Goblin once stood. Aranea panted slightly and Gandalf smirked as he readjusted his staff into his other hand and gestured over her, the others looked over at her bloodied state with wide eyes.

"You're late." Gandalf stated.

Scoffing and Aranea rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to give the wizard a well deserved retort.

The bridge suddenly fell out from underneath them. Screams of shock and terror left all members of the company, as the bridge slide down the caverns wall at a terrific speed, demolishing everything in its path before crashing at the base of the cave.

"I think I am going to be sick" I muttered as Gandalf pulled me from the wreckage. I quickly moved to lean on the far wall. Groaning and moaning, as Gandalf moved from my side to help the others. Dizzy didn't describe how spinny my sight is.

"Well, that could have been worse." Bofur said, just in time for me to vomit.

WHAM!

Jumping at the noise, I turned to see the massive corpse of the Goblin King on top of the wreckage. Squishing the dwarves further.

"You've got to be joking!" Dwalin cried out from near the bottom of the pile. I wiped at my mouth and quickly ran over to help pull him and Kili out.

"There's too many!" Dwalin exclaimed, pointing in the same direction. ``We can't fight them!"

"Gandalf!" Kili yelled once he was out, looking over, I saw him pointing above us. Thousands of Goblins were scratching their way down the wall towards us.

"Only one thing will save us; daylight! Come on!" Gandalf shouted as hurled Ori from the rumble.

Everyone was quick to their feet after that, Gandalf and me leading the others out of the mountain. Once we got less than a league away from the entrance and the trees started to thicken, Gandalf stopped to make sure we had everyone.

"Aranea, Balin, Gloin,-" Moving over to bend down the nearest tree and bush, I decided it would be a good time to be sick again.

"You alright lass?" Gloin panted as he came over to check on my squatted figure facing away from everyone.

"Ah, we finally found her weakness!" Bofur laughed cheekily. As him and the others chuckled at my expense. I merely groaned as I made a rude gesture with my hand, causing several of the dwarves to burst into shocked laughter.

"I don't do heights." I moaned, looking over my shoulder at him, I winced at the moment.

Most of the others were semi gathered around in the small clearing. Gandalf was still counting…

"What no verbal retort?" Bofur giggled, grunting I looked up at the teasing dwarf, oof I held up a hand as I returned to my orginal position with my head almost to my knees against the tree. "I'll come up with something when there are no longer two of you."

"Two Bofurs' No wonder the lass is sick." I heard Nori laugh causing more laughter to spread through the group. I simply smirked and bite back a gag as I felt another wave of nausea.

"Do you need anything?"

I didn't hear him come up, still despite the churning in my stomach the warmth of his voice filled me.

"No no, I'm fine," I reassured without looking at him, "-though, if we can avoid the cliff jumping part of the journey, that would be appreciated." He chuckled lightly, causing the warmth to travel to my face.

"And BOMBUR! that makes 13 with Aranea now where is Bilbo?" Silence filled the clearing.

Straightening up, I turned slowly to look over everyone, leaning on the tree with my other side.

"Where is our Hobbit!" Gandalf asked again more urgently. The dwarves all glanced at each other.

Dwalin cursed lowly "Curse that halfling! Now he's lost!"

Gloin pointed at Dori accusingly "I thought he was with Dori!"

"Don't blame me!" He shouted back

"I thought I saw him slip away," Nori spoke up "When they first collared us."

"What exactly happened?" Gandalf questioned him, "Tell me!"

"I'll tell you what happened!" Thorin growled next to me. Looking down at him, he seemed to glare at the wizard.

"Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it. he thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth since he first stepped out of his door, we'll not be seeing a Hobbit friend again, he's long gone."

Tad bit rude, I thought to myself as I glanced away from Thorin. He just couldn’t see what he didn’t want to see...I really hoped that Bilbo.-

"No he isn't" looking over behind Fili and Kili I was surprised to see the bushy haired Hobbit

“Bilbo Baggins,” Gandalf declared with a boisterous chuckle. “I’ve never been so glad to see anyone in my life.”

“Bilbo,” Kili grinned. “We’d given you up!”

“How on earth did you get past the goblins?” asked Fili, surprised as well, we all were. The hobbit laughed awkwardly and placed his hands on hips, visibly he was searching for his words.

“Well, what does it matter? He’s back!” Gandalf said, motioning his staff to Bilbo.

“It matters,” Thorin spoke bitter in his words. He took a step toward Bilbo in the center of everyone. “I want to know. Why did you come back?”

Bilbo tweaked his nose, brows scrunching, he said," I know you doubt me. I know you always have and you're right. I often think of Bag-End." he gestured behind him.

"I miss my books, my armchair and my garden. See cause that's where I belong, that's home and that's why I came back cause…you don't have one, a home. It was taken from you. But like Aranea,-” he gestured at me. “-I will try and help you take it back... if I can. "He added

Howls and yips sounded off echoing throughout clearing, startling everyone. Thorin murmured something to Gandalf. "Outta of the frying pan..."

Blessed Valor, the Hobbit finally got it. I smiled broadly as the rest of the company let the halflings' words sink in. Maybe now they won't be so harsh on his poor soul.

"And into the fire." He turned "Run! Run!!"

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luna-writes-stuff · 3 years ago

Text

CHAPTER XXIX

A Kili X OC fanfic

Previous chapter // Next chapter

Tw: Sudden angst (hold on to your seatbelts. It’s gonna be a ride from this chapter on). Descriptions of exhaustion because of walking + description of being out of breath because of a fall. I like time skips for the spice. Not that heavy yet.

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When the dwarves have very little screen time in tbotfa so you have to write you own scenes while you are in a writing slump

If the mountains of gold did not appear overwhelming from a distance, they definitely did up close. Having ignored Thorin's shouts and protests, Raewyn had marched up to the treasure hoard, ready to grab enough valuables for Laketown to rebuild. Yet, unlike she had suspected, no one had come to stop her yet. The king was so caught up in his own mind that he could not find the strength nor the urge to stop the Asha, even though he had been completely and utterly obsessed with the gems and gold.

Picking the purest of jewels from the piles, Raewyn stuffed them in her pockets, not wasting her time on mere golden coins. She knew exactly what was more valuable, and which could remain in the halls forever.

Silent curses spilled from her mouth as she tried to push Thorin's delusional face from her mind. She was aware that it was only a matter of time before he would confront her again, but she would make sure the men on the other side of the gates held their share of the treasure.

The gold beneath her feet fell with every movement, and the clinking of it was heard throughout the otherwise quiet mountain. Never had treasure looked so sickening, or sounded so foreign, and she nearly grew scared at the daunting amount of jewels. Pushing herself through it, she reached down to pick up another necklace, inspecting the emeralds decorating the chain, before stuffing it with the rest of her share.

A loud clinking was heard from behind her, but this was much further than her feet were. The ranger froze at the sound for a short moment, staring at the coins below her as she tried to identify the footsteps.

When a louder clinking was heard again, it was obvious to her that the person wanted to make themselves known. And with that thought, it did not take long for her to figure out who it was.

"Did he send you?" She asked aloud, picking up a ring from a small treasure chest.

A sharp silence was heard after her question, and she knew the presence had halted his movement.

"Yes."

Raewyn hummed at the answer, twirling the ring between her fingers. When no other words were spoken, she put the ring in her pouch, turning around to face the prince.

"What will you do?"

Kili only stared at her from the golden stairs, a new sword hung over his hips, though his hand made no move to reach for it. He was clad in heavy dwarven armor, letting Raewyn know that Thorin was indeed preparing for war.

"I do not want to choose." He confessed through a whisper, looking behind him, silently wishing his brother had been beside him.

"You will have to." Raewyn pointed out, trying to adjust her tone to Kili's, even as she felt more anger than regret.

The dwarf frowned upon her speech, slowly making his way down the stairs as he unsheathed his sword. Staring down at it, he threw it down the treasure hoard, swallowing thickly.

"I want to be with you." He managed out, a defeated look on his face.

"But you cannot abandon your family." She understood, giving a short nod as she remained in her place.

"Thorin will throw me out when he finds out you left the mountain." Kili explained, now standing below the golden pile Raewyn was vacating.

"If." She countered, giving him a warning glance.

"When." He shot back, his voice steadfast and unwavering.

Observing his confident stance, the ranger sighed, dropping her shoulders.

"I cannot let you do that either."

"So what will we do?" Kili tried, making his way on top of the pile.

"I don't know." Raewyn mumbled, looking up at the ceiling.

"Neither do I," The dwarf admitted, his voice now closer. "And I am not here to tell you not to grab that gold, for I stand with you. You know this."

His hands carefully found hers, drawing her attention back to him. Looking anywhere but at him, Raewyn squeezed his hand three times, finally resting her eyes on a pillar in the distance.

"So what will you have me do?" Kili finished.

"I was going to leave eventually," The Asha confessed, letting her mind wander back to the burning lake they had faced days prior. "My quest ended when Smaug drew his last breath."

"Then why are you still here?" The prince voiced, even surprising himself with his question.

Feeling her heart leap into her throat, she blinked slowly, having expected this question since their first night in Erebor, yet still unprepared with her answer. In all honesty, she did not even know why she was still here. It was obvious Thorin wanted her gone, but she did not stick around to agitate him on his throne. Nor did she stay for Bilbo, which she might have expected herself to do.

"You know why." She ultimately answered, letting go of his hand as she took a step back.

"I do," He admitted, taking a step towards her. "But I need to hear you say it."

Loud footsteps were heard through the halls as both Kili and Raewyn's heads shot up at the sound.

"Raewyn!" A voice shouted, seeming out of breath, yet extremely recognizable to the pair. "Thorin sent Kili to-"

Bilbo ran into the treasure room, spotting the two upon a golden hill. He broke his sentence halfway, letting out a sigh of relief as he noticed Kili's sword missing.

"You did not think I was actually going to kill her?" The dwarf questioned, almost insulted.

"Kill me?" Raewyn repeated, genuinely surprised by the king's order.

"I wasn't going to." He defended, holding his hands up in surrender, his mood suddenly switching.

Looking at the hobbit below and the gates in the distant halls, he inhaled deeply, making eye contact with the ranger.

"Strike me." He concluded, his voice quiet, though she was sure she had heard him.

"Excuse me?"

"If you strike me and run off, I won't be banished and you won't be followed." The dwarf explained, his tone more urgent as he stepped towards her again, making Raewyn take two steps back.

"I am not going to strike you." She hissed, taking a quick look at Bilbo below, who seemed confused at the entire exchange.

Kili groaned in frustration, holding his hand up as he gently turned Raewyn's head to face his.

"Please." He pleaded, his eyes nearly begging as he lowered his arm.

The Asha only managed to stare at him, a hurt look flashing across her face. Kili's face set in such sadness, yet determination, and she absolutely hated it. She would not strike him just to please Thorin. But she did not want Kili to get banished because she ran off without his interference.

Feeling her heart sink, she placed her feet further apart, staring at Kili with desperate eyes. But his intentions did not seem to waver. Instead of running towards her, he stood there, unmoving, waiting for Raewyn, whose mind was reeling by now, begging her to let him stand there and simply run off.

But before her inner conflict could get the better of her, she rest her weight on her left leg, kicking her right one from underneath her. Her foot harshly collided with Kili's chest, knocking the air out of his lungs as he fell down the treasure hoard.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she ran down as well, on the other side of the fallen dwarf. Turning only briefly to look at Bilbo, who had ran to Kili's side. Blinking fiercely, she made way for the main hall, preparing herself to leave the mountain.

"You knew about Mithril forging." She heard Kili's voice call out. It was out of breath and shaky, but it was there.

Her footsteps wavered slightly, her pace fading as the lump in her throat began to swell.

"Keep it," She called hoarsely. "It belongs to you."

——

The walk towards Dale seemed longer, and more tiring, than it had perhaps been. Though Raewyn had been of stronger build, she began to realize the treasure in her pockets only made her footsteps heavier. She had already offered Farris a few chains in case she would be caught, but even those four lesser chains did nothing to fade the weight pulling at her trousers.

"Raewyn, wait!" Someone called out. Someone fairly close to her.

Before she could answer, Bilbo suddenly appeared in front of her, pulling a ring off his finger. One that Raewyn quickly recognized as the ring the hobbit had offered her in Mirkwood.

"Bilbo?" She spoke bewildered. "What are you doing here?"

The hobbit stuck his hand inside his coat, pulling out the ever-gleaming Arkenstone.

"Thorin is no longer the same," He stated. "Perhaps this way we can encourage negotiations."

"It is better off destroyed." Raewyn countered, scoffing lightly. "Perhaps by making the one thing he longs to hold unobtainable, it will drive him mad enough to knock some sense into him."

"We are not going to do that." Bilbo objected. "This is for Bard."

The ranger squinted her eyes upon his words. "For what? I have enough jewels here to save the people of Laketown." She explained, gesturing towards the chains hanging from her pockets.

"That is also why I am here," The hobbit muttered, taking another step towards his friend. "Bring it back, or- or keep it."

"I'm sorry?" She questioned, visibly taken aback.

"Raewyn, you have told me so many tales and stories about the kingdoms of old and your avoidance of them," Bilbo told, stuffing the Arkenstone back in his pockets. "Don't throw yourself in deep of them because of one dwarf."

"Thorin has nothing to do with this." The Asha hissed, not angered by the hobbit, but angered at the insinuation of Thorin's approval.

"I know," Bilbo smiled knowingly. "Go back to Erebor, Rae."

"Bilbo-"

"No," He halted. "This is me putting my foot down." Slamming a foot down to prove his point, he aimed his finger at the ranger, who was looking at him in silent judgment. "You have helped me so many times, now let me help you. And I am not in the mood to deal with another stubborn dwarf."

Raewyn stared at him, trying to find the proper words to argue with him. But she knew he would not quickly change his mind. She knew he was leaving for Dale, regardless of her words. She could force him to run back to the mountain, had an urgent thought not suddenly crossed her mind.

"The orcs are on their way to siege Erebor," She spoke without thinking.

Noticing Bilbo's sudden shock and surprise, she sighed deeply. "Gandalf sent me a letter."

"Have you warned them?" The hobbit asked, alarmed at the speech of his friend.

Raewyn swallowed thickly, looking at her feet for a short moment before turning to look back at the shorter creature.

"I wanted to." Was all she said, letting Bilbo do his thinking on his own.

As if she could hear the gears turning in his head, she looked at the hobbit staring far-off, trying to understand her words. And when he did, his face revealed his realization, making Raewyn form her lips in a thin line.

"Revenge will not make you feel any better," Bilbo whispered, resting a hand on her lower arm, silently pleading for her to turn back.

"I know," She agreed quietly. "But with his mind, and his actions against the survivors of Laketown...."

Looking deeply into Bilbo's eyes, she shrugged, causing the hobbit to drop his hand. "What if he does not get better? Will we let him rule by his own selfish bidding?"

"It is his kingdom." He sighed, though the hobbit himself was not pleased by the thought. He knew Raewyn was right, and that his rule would be his end, but he did not dare to interfere with Thorin's rule as the ranger had.

"So we let him get devoured by his own greed and power?" She exclaimed in exasperation. "He threatened and tried to kill me multiple times! He sent Kili after me. Kili won't kill me, but the next dwarf might."

Upon the name of the dwarf, Raewyn seemed to halt her next sentence, freezing upon a frightening thought. Gasping lightly, she took a step back.

"What was I thinking?" She mumbled, turning to look at the mountain in the distance. "Thorin might be insane, but he isn't stupid. He's going to kick him out."

——

Where Raewyn had thought the walk to Dale was challenging, she found herself out of breath with every step she took back to the mountain. Farris had been following Bilbo regardless of her owner returning to Erebor, but Raewyn couldn't find the urge to call the owl back.

She had already dropped a couple of necklaces and chains, but it was not the weight of the gold that made the climb back up so difficult. It was the dawning realization that she was to face Thorin once more. To try to bargain with him once more. And with the stubbornness of both of them, she knew she wouldn't get far. Yet she had to try to talk to him, or at least try to stop the king from kicking anyone out.

From above her, she could hear two pairs of footsteps walking around, alerting her that there were dwarves up there guarding the gate, or perhaps even waiting for her arrival. Having only recognized one dwarf upon the noises, she halted momentarily, waiting for the second pair again. But when they appeared frozen, she pushed her shoulders back, simply walking up the remainder of stairs.

Almost immediately, Bofur ran up to her, his face laced with confusion and slight desperation.

"Lass, what are you doing here?" He pleaded, grabbing her arm to stop her movement.

Tearing her arm from his grip, she continued her path towards the gates.

"Where is Kili?" She questioned, the dwarf trailing behind her.

"He's inside," Bofur answered, shooting a quick glance towards Dori, who sat down beside the gate. "But why-"

"Where is Thorin?" Raewyn interrupted, now walking into the mountain.

"I suppose he is in the throne room, as usual, but-"

"How important is it?" She sighed, turning around to face Bofur, giving him an exhausted look, her breath still labored from the climb.

The dwarf took a deep breath, holding his finger up, though he seemed to have trouble finding the words that were yet to be spoken. After a short while, just as Raewyn was about to resume her path, he spoke up.

"Where have ye been?"

Looking at him, she frowned lightly, having expected another question entirely.

"That is not important," She answered, before pointing to Dori, who was still watching from outside. "I need you to gather the dwarves."

With those words, she took off again. It took a quick second for Bofur to realize she was leaving again, stumbling over his steps as he tried to catch up.

"Why?" He wondered, followed by a slightly more careful: "I do not think you have the authority to-"

"This is not a formal request, this is me asking you a favor as a friend." The Asha shot off again, holding her hand up to emphasize her point. "Orcs are on their way to attack the mountain and - unless Thorin decided that his treasure is not worth pining over obsessively -, he is going to sit here and let it happen. So either you gather the company or I will, but I need them here before sunrise."

That shut him up, his footsteps fading as he let the words slowly, but surely, sink in. Swallowing harshly, he stopped, letting Raewyn continue her own path.

"What'll you do?" He called after her.

"That depends." She voiced back, no longer turning around to face him.

"Depends on what?" Bofur dared to ask.

Raewyn sighed audibly, beginning to grow slightly annoyed at the curious dwarf. Yet, she answered him truthfully; "Depends on who is still walking these halls."

Having finally accepted her words, Bofur took off running, rushing to find the dwarves, who had all scattered amongst the mountain. Where most of them were still on the look for the Arkenstone, there were some who had taken it upon themselves to discover the halls and kingdom itself. With the leave of Thorin of course. But they could be hiding anywhere, and sunrise was mere hours away. Both Bofur and Raewyn were running out of time.

——

Having known the way to the throne room better than she had liked, Raewyn was quick to find Thorin, and on his side Fili. The two seemed to be too caught up in their conversation, but the Asha could not quite hear what they were saying. Nevertheless, the absence of Kili did not go unnoticed by her, and it send her into another internal panic.

Fishing out the last couple of necklaces from her pockets, she threw them on the floor, aiming them at Thorin. The sound of the falling gems and gold immediately caught his attention, his head snapping up at an alarming rate.

"You," He seethed, raising from his seat, staring down from his steps. "You attacked my kin. My sister's son!"

The Asha only walked up to the steps of the throne, pointing her thumb towards Fili.

"Both of them, if you want to make a list."

"You have a lot of nerve coming back." He taunted, his voice sharp, as Fili frowned at the exchange.

Raewyn tilted her head to her right side, shrugging as she neared the first step.

"Yes, well, I was halfway down the stairs when I realized I hadn't bothered you enough yet. I came back to make it up."

"Do not think your humour masks your intentions," The dwarf spoke clearly, his voice booming throughout the room. "I know why you are here."

"Do you now?" She teased. "I highly doubt it. There'd be a lot more panic here if you had."

"Do not play coy with me, Asha. I have seen your looks," He roared, angered at not only her words, but her mere presence. "I am not as blind as you might be."

"That's an ironic thing to say." Raewyn mumbled to herself, stopping on the second step as she looked at Thorin. Noting his sword missing, she suppressed the urge to smile, yet she could not help but let a small smirk show.

"Look, oh your great dwarvishness with your absurd crown and your heavy robes that weigh half as much as your pride," She proclaimed, Thorin's face switching that to one of confusion, before falling back into rage. "You have orcs marching up to your gates. To your bloody treasure that you intend to dwell over your entire life. They will be here in two, if not one night."

The king made no intention to speak, nor did Fili, though he dared to let a pleading look fall into his uncle's direction.

"I do not know what you long to do with this information, but if you will not make a call, I am gathering the company and we shall leave."

And with her speech, Thorin began to smile. A smile so mockingly, that she wanted to do nothing more than to slap it off, throwing him off of the stairs for good measure.

"They will never walk with you." He laughed lowly.

"Perhaps," She shrugged, her eyes falling onto Fili. "But they will walk with him."

Thorin's smile faded as his eyes cast upon his nephew, giving him an accusing look. Yet, he was quick to stare back down at the ranger.

"I see your plan," He mumbled, though his voice echoed through the halls. "Was this truly how you envisioned it? Convincing us that a threat is nearing, when the real threat hides in Dale?"

His voice sent shivers down her spine, her mind casting back to her encounter with Smaug. The strong and witted words that fell from his mouth appeared as if they were now in Thorin's brain The dwarf of earlier did not have this way of speaking, nor did he feel confident enough to speak them, but he was no longer holding back.

"Was it not you who set out to help them?" He resumed. "And now you have returned. Perhaps because they did not want the treasure, but I highly doubt it."

Finally, the king moved, taking a step down the stairs, walking at an agonizingly slow pace, glaring at the Asha below him.

"No, you came back for something else. You came back to take something with you. Something that you forgot the first trip," Another step was taken down, though he halted, as if to ponder over something.

"No, not forgot; incapable of bringing along. You changed your mind, so you came back to get him. Is that not the case?"

Now he was standing only a small step taller than her, giving him the opportunity to look down at the ranger, giving her a daring smile.

Squinting her eyes slightly, Raewyn frowned at him, a million words and thoughts rushing through her mind as she tried to carefully calculate her next words without revealing too much. But once more, her tongue was quicker than her mind, and the words started falling freely.

"Every second you sit here, your mind becomes more delusional." She hissed. "The orcs are real. And they will be here soon. As for your supposed genius speech; I came back to warn you, hoping that you might still have some common sense knocked into you."

Thorin tilted his head up, looking at his nephew behind him, before letting his eyes fall onto the wall behind Raewyn, no longer bothered by her words.

"So, were I to say Kili ran after you, you would not care?"

Upon his words, her jaw began to clench, one of her hands squeezing together, as she swallowed thickly. He could not have followed her, she tried to convince herself. She would have heard him. He would have called after her, or at least ran after her. His boots were heavier than all others, so she could have known he was coming from miles away. It was simply impossible Kili had ran after her.

Yet the thought of it did not seem faux enough. She knew he very well might have done it, and he might have been more quiet than usual, having known about her years as a ranger. But he had never once considered it before. Why would he have changed it all of the sudden?

"I will not fight for your sake, your name, your throne, or your claim," She changed the subject, referring to her earlier words about the orcs, purposely not mentioning Kili. "I will lead the company away from this mountain, so I shall fight to defend them. Sit here and rot, I could not care any less."

Stomping down the stairs angrily, she huffed loudly. From behind her, she could hear Thorin sit back down on his throne, as Fili finally began to move.

Nearing the necklaces she had earlier thrown on the ground, she stood on top of them, pushing much force into her steps as the rubies and emeralds shattered under her boots, the gems falling into a million tiny pieces.

"You should leave soon," Thorin called, his speech mocking, though his voice sounded angry again. "Perhaps your orcs have already found him."

——

Taglist: @errruvande @justnerdystuffs @fallenangeloflight @spidergirla5 @bianavacker-is-bi-as-hell @writingawaymylife @lxdymormont @deathofafangirl01 @the-cranck-hobbit @chaoticpaintsplatter @kinnietingzs @derangedcupcake @radbarbariancupcake

#Starcrossed losers #Tolkien #the hobbit #kili x reader #kili #kili durin #kili imagine #fili and kili #thorin oakenshield #kili x raewyn #Raewyn asha #Bilbo baggins #gandalf The grey #botfa #battle of the five armies #raeli #Fili durin #fili

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elysiashelby · 4 years ago

Text

In Another World - T.Shelby Imagine Ch. 25

Paring: (Eventual) Thomas Shelby x Aliena Welsh (OC)

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Word Count: 18,006

WARNINGS: Angst, Cursing, Fluff, Continuous First Person to Third Person POV Shifts, ONE! Tom Third Person POV, Self-harm, Alcohol, SMUT! (NSFW): oral sex (female receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex

Summary: It’s March of 1922, Ali’s nearing the end of her stay with the Shelby’s. After years of waiting, she’s finally ready to move on, but will fate let her.

MASTERLIST CHAPTER 24.2 CHAPTER 26

A/N: This chapter contains some POV switches as will the next chapter! Y’all know the deal. Black line breaks are there as a warning for the self harm scene. Only 1 ‘n it’s small!

Smut is finally here! I haven’t written a SMUT scene in forever, so I fear I’m a little out of touch.

It’s March of 1922 and things are going great! Well, not really, I had a mental breakdown so... I mean, not as bad as my last one, which was like a year ago. But, I was coming to terms with the fact that I killed someone! Someone who I did not have a paid hit on, but I murdered out of pure hatred.

So, I had to do some inner reflection on that, and it would have gone a lot smoother if I had chosen to stop doin’ my side job. But I didn’t. I kept on with my “assassinating.”

So was I really healed? Probably not, but hey! I don’t think about it anymore. I did it, I got away with— let’s move on. The guy was a douche anyway. Probably did society a favor.

Yeah…

Right now I was cleaning up at Cassie’s flat. The gang was coming over soon, and I had to get the blood of a client off of me. The job was easier than most. I infiltrated another big party, seduced the target, and shot them in the chest and in the head. It’s a rule of thumb I have that I took from Zombieland. I got some blowback on me, so that’s why I’m taking a shower.

I’m not in the best of spirits tonight. Why, you may ask? Well, it’s because Michael and Arthur were to be arrested tonight. The only reason I knew was because Moss tipped me off. He caught me while I was visiting his wife. He took me aside and told me that Campbell had reason to arrest Michael, and he told me when it was going to take place.

The only reason why he was letting me know was because Campbell had his own plans for me. He didn’t know if Campbell wanted me arrested, but if I was on the scene— I was to be taken in.

Let me tell you, I was so fucking proud of myself for befriending Moss’s wife! The single best thing I ever did. I mean, I knew I would be “bailed out” in no time thanks to all my rich mates, but Michael would still be in the clink. I think. I could ask around for some connections, if I needed to or was asked.

But, yeah. Michael and Arthur were being arrested tonight while I was at Cassie’s. Of course I felt guilty that I couldn’t prevent it, but it’s not like I could in the first place. That would mess with the timeline too much.

Eventually, I got out of the shower, dried off, and put on my underwear. I’ve been trying to get more comfortable with my breasts, so I haven’t been wearing my bra to bed. In nothing but my towels and underwear, I walked out into the room.

“So,” I began while walking over to the bed, where I had my clothes laid out. “What’s on tonight’s agenda? Some heavy flirting? A therapy session? Or some good old fashion gambling?”

Cassie giggled, a pillow in her grasp as she threw open her arms. “All of it, babes!”

I chuckled. “That’s what I like to hear.” I dropped my towel and put on my dress. It was a velvet robe-like dress. Very flowy and comfortable, though it had a deep v-neck. Again, trying to get comfortable with my tits. Luckily, this process has been going on for a while and Dougie and Horace are now used to seeing a bit of my cleavage.

The pair do not regard me as anything more than a mate. Dougie is like my male twin flame while Cassie’s my female twin flame. They just match my vibe so fucking well! While Horace...well, he only has eyes for Angie. We bond pretty well academically, though. He answers a lot of questions I have pertaining some of the hypotheticals I conjure while writing.

After I put on my dress, I lotioned up my legs and arms before moving on to caring for my hair. I was brushing it out when the gang came in.

Dougie came up to me and kissed my temple before heading toward the table with the rest of the group. I hurriedly scrunched up my hair as I desperately wanted to join the conversation in fear of being left out.

I threw my hair towel aside and quickly shuffled to the table. Cassie saw me coming and got up from her seat.

While beckoning me to her, she said. “Ali, c’mere.”

I sat in her chair and once I was settled down, she sat on my lap. I sighed before asking, “So, what are we playing first?”

Cassie was sitting on my lap sidesaddle. She reached over on the table to the carton of ciggies that someone had thrown, tapped it on the bottom before pulling two out.

With a ciggie hanging from her mouth, Angie replied while shuffling the cards. “We decided on Go Fish. Your favorite.” She winked at me and I returned it.

I giggled before accepting the ciggie Cassie held for me. She rested hers on her lip and just as she went to lit it— Dougie leaned over to us.

“Here, just use mine.” He said while pressing the end his ciggie to hers.

Muffled, Cassie replied. “Thanks.” She looked back to me, took my face in her hands, and connected the ends of our ciggies. Basically, repeating what she’d just done with Dougie.

I swear to God, this group is so sus. And I think I’m partially at fault for how close and open the group is. I’m sorry, okay, I’m a physical person and I cut through the bullshit with the people I hold dear!

Angie dealt the cards, and I slid them closer to my face. I was exhaling when Cassie decided to start the conversation flow again.

She asked. “So Tina, how’s your married man? What was his name again?”

Tina tsked, a scowl on her face. “Darren, his name’s Darren. And, he’s fine...”

I raised an eyebrow. “Just fine? Who the hell’s starting?”

Angie cleared her throat. “I dealt so Douglas goes. Cassie’s sitting in your lap, so either you or her is next and vise versa. Then, Tina goes and finally Horace before me.”

I nodded as a quiet “oh” escaped my mouth. I looked back over at Tina.

Tina replied. “Yes, just fine.”

“So, has he filed for a divorce from his wife? Any sevens?” Dougie asked.

Horace and Angie gave him their cards.

Tina pouted, her arms crossing defensively. “He—! He’s been avoiding the question.”

All of us shared a glance and some of us hummed.

Dougie asked. “Any fives?”

“You know, statistically and due to England’s current standpoint on divorce— Darren is less likely to actually ask his wife for a divorce. There is an even lesser probability that the divorce would even be granted in a court of law—”

The four of us girls shouted. “Go fish!”

“--because we’re obsessed with this “Christian purity.” And, his wife would have to be the adulterer. And as it stands right now only he has—!” Horace was spewing before he was cut off. His face contorting in pain before hunching over.

Collectively, we all glanced at Tina, who was not holding up well.

This was not going good, and the urge to tell her that I told her so, was not helping. She should just dump him, but eh, who was I to judge?

I cleared my throat before holding my ciggie away from my lips, and asking through an exhale, “Anyone got any Queens?”

Cassie didn’t hesitate to give me two. I took the two I had in my hands and laid the four cards on the table.

“Anyone got any nines?”

Angie threw one of her cards to me. Cassie passed it to me before looking over to Tina.

She said. “Well, Tina. Whatever you decide to do, we’ll support you. If ya want to stay with him, or leave him. We’ll be right here for ya.”

All of us tried comforting her ‘n all we managed to get was a small smile in return. It didn’t reach her eyes, I knew that. However, I really wanted to have a good time so I was looking to change the subject.

‘Just—! Anyone please talk about anything else!’

As I inhaled, I asked. “Any threes?”

“Go fish!”

I tsked.

I was laying down on the floor with Horace. Our arms were extended up in the air and we laid opposite to each other, if that made sense. Like basically, our heads were right next to each other.

Our arms were in the air because I was playing with Horace’s fingers. Angie, Tina, Cassie, and Dougie were either sitting on the sofas/couches, or somewhere else in the room. He was a little drunk and wanted to calm down, so I offered to stay with him.

“So, how are things going with Angie, buddy?” I asked while still playing with his fingers.

He sighed and then chuckled. “Better. I think she… I think she’s beginning to like me back.”

I hummed and chuckled under my breath. “Well, don’t get too cocky there. She’ll knock back down a peg or two if she finds out that you’re feeling like that.”

Horace scoffed. “Don’t I know it. Hey! The only way she’d find out is if you tell her!”

My eyes widened and I spluttered rolling over to my sides. When I calmed down, I repositioned myself and grabbed hold of his fingers again. I sighed. “Well, that’s true but I promise I’ve never told her a thing.”

That’s a blag, I’m almost certain. It probably slipped from my tongue from time to time.

I was running my fingertips over his short-cut fingernails while blowing raspberries. I took a deep breath before asking, “Well, you guys went on that date like last week, right? Angie’s told us some things, but how’d it go from your perspective?”

He blew raspberries before replying, “I think it went rather well. I mean she actually paid attention to me this time.”

I couldn’t help but snicker. “Oh my god, Horace!”

“It’s true! This time I felt like she was actually like looking at me. I don’t know. She’s hard to read sometimes, but it’s endearing, really.”

“So, you’re saying that you like the mysterious side to her?”

“Yeah. Yeah, in a way, I am.”

“So, if you discover all there is to her, do you think you will lose interest in her?”

Horace and I grew quiet. His arms flopped down to his side which I repeated. I rolled over to my side, an arm supporting my head as my other hand scratched away at the rug.

Horace mimicked how I was laying, so that we were facing each other, and he sighed through his nose. “I don’t think I’ll ever know everything about her. People typically evolve over time as do their curiosities and interests. So, I don’t think you nor I nor Angie will ever fully know one another. However, to answer your question, no, I don’t think I would lose interest in her even if I knew everything about her. I—! I’ve been in love with her since I was a child, so it would be pretty odd if I were to just lose interest once we were together. I mean, then why the hell did I waste all these years pinning after her. You know?”

I hummed and nodded. “I feel that.” I continued picking at the rug. “Hey, Horace?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, um. Basically, you know what, nevermind, it’s dumb.”

“No, come on. Ask me.”

“No—”

“Just ask me.”

I sighed and looked down. “Well, I wanted to ask you since you’re a guy ‘n all. Um, why doesn’t Tommy like me?”

Horace’s tongue swiped over his bottom lip as he jerked his body around a little. Basically, shaking on his side like a mermaid out of water would, but not as violent. “Now, Aliena. Do you want an honest answer, or do you just want one that will solidify the ideas you already have in your head?”

I chuckled, a small smile spreading across my face before I shouted. “Both!”

Horace rolled over to his back and I inched closer to him. I hovered above him as he spoke. “Okay, then. The honest answer is, well, why does anyone not reciprocate a person’s love? It could simply be because you’re not the person’s type, or there could be any other extenuating circumstance. Why—? Why does Angie not acknowledge my love when I’m obviously ready to give her my all? She just has her reasons. Now, I’m not her nor am I your Tommy, so I can’t speak for him. I don’t know why he won’t look your way. Only he could truly tell you.”

I blinked, my mood souring. I took a deep breath and reached up to fiddle with the collar of his white dress shirt. “And the answer that would solidify my thoughts?” I whispered.

We stared into each other’s eyes as he replied. “You met him too early in life. You met him too early in life, and now all he can see is that 16 year old girl. Not to mention the 12 year age gap! I mean it would probably be nothing, if the both of you had met now, as you are 20 and he’s 32, but you met when you were 16 and 28. I—! Don’t get me wrong a lot of men would have gotten with you being 28 and you being 16. So, regretfully, I have to applaud the man.”

I rolled my eyes.

“It’s the truth, Ali. Men are—! Men aren’t the best. I’ve learned more than enough of the struggle women go through because of men from Angie, believe me!”

“Oh, I believe you!”

We chuckled before falling to a silence.

Horace continued. “There’s also your personality!”

My jaw dropped and my face contorted. I smacked his chest as I gasped. “What’s wrong with my personality!”

He raised his arms and tried defending himself from my attacks. A big ol’ smile on his face. “Ali, you’re very affectionate! Do you know that? God, I’d have believed that Cassie would have fought with you if she didn’t know about Tommy. It’s honestly rather settling to know that you actually have your heart set on someone ‘cause you’d have fooled the rest of us!”

I pouted. Still fiddling with his collar, I asked in a childish voice. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, you flirt with everyone in the group. You know that, right? You sit on Douglas’s lap. You sit on my lap! You sit on Angie’s! You kiss us on the cheek. Dougie kisses your cheek or temple. Then, there’s your unique fashion sense. I’m not judging your choice to display what God gave you. Angie would kill me if I did! But, you can even ask Douglas, we—! Well, I! Don’t regard you all that innocent, anymore. If you get what I mean, I—!”

I waved my hands as a way to stop him from tripping himself over his words even more. “I, I know what you’re trying to say. I get it all the time. Your point is?”

Horace took a deep breath before rubbing his forehead and letting his hand rest there. “Well, don’t you think that a person will just either get used to the affection or eventually grow annoyed by it?”

I’m regretting talking to him entirely.

“I don’t act like that with him, Horace. He’s still my boss, you know. I—! I could never!”

His eyes widened. “O-Oh! Then, disregard that last statement. Uh...”

I mean, but I have thought about that. I debated whether or not my compassion and love for the man was being taken for granted. Well, that he was manipulating me into like placating his feelings. I’m more used to that treatment coming from girls. You know, they act like they’re sad just so that I can comfort them— that sort of thing! I don’t deny that it’s crossed my mind.

Horace cleared his throat. “Well, then, perhaps he’s the sort of man that can’t handle you. You’re very independent and upbeat. I mean you can be serious when the moment calls for it, but you’re quick to giggle. Maybe he just wants a damsel in distress. Maybe he wants a more serious, proud woman. Proud being opposite to your “down to earthness.” Is what I’m trying to say.”

I snickered. “Uh… Right, okay? That was a whole lot in a small package. Um, right, okay then! Well, thank you for giving me your most honest answers, sir.”

He nodded. “You’re welcome, madam.”

I snickered away while cringing and then stuck my tongue out at him. Eventually, we got up from the floor and rejoined the group. We chatted away while sipping our bevvies, and nursed our cigarettes before finding ourselves seated on the couches.

Tina and Cassie were sitting on the couch opposite to Dougie and I. I was sitting rather close to him with my legs draped over his thighs. His right hand rested on my thigh while I ran my fingers through the back of his hair.

Ah! I see what Horace was talking about. Yeah, all those Tik toks ‘n shit are coming back to me. Maybe I should ask Cassie how she feels about my touchiness? Oh, I definitely should. Great! Fucking dammit! Why did my love language have to be physical touch?

He was telling me about his week when Angie’s voice was growing increasingly more loud by the second. She was pacing back ‘n forth in front of Horace, who was sitting on the arm of the couch.

Angie groaned exaggeratedly before snapping her fingers and shouting, “Ali, Ali! What about your opinion, eh? How do you feel living in these times while looking the way you do? Acting the way you do?”

I furrowed my eyebrows and glanced at both Cassie and Dougie. They both gave me shrugs. I sighed before pushing some of my hair away from my face. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

With a drink in her right hand and waving about her left, she said. “Well, I mean you don’t conform to beauty standards. Right? Your hair is still very long, you typically wear what you want to wear. You enhance your curves and you know, embrace the waves in your hair. I mean that’s almost the total opposite of the way women dress today.”

I get that I was out of tune with the modern style, but she was making it sound like I was trying to be some sort of trendsetter.

I giggled and waved a hand and dismissed her comment. “I don’t know what to say. I wear what I want to wear. I—!”

“Exactly! Exactly. You wear what you want to wear. And, and you scrap with men. You fight your own battles. I mean—!”

I scoffed, shaking my head. “Angie, Angie, wait a minute. I—! Look, we live one life. I intend on living it how I want. That’s all.”

She nodded. “I know! Exactly and that’s what I love about you. You don’t give a damn about what anyone else thinks. You live your life the way you want, and I don’t know... Well, like tell us—! No, tell me how you do all this without worrying about snagging a man.”

Ah! And the other shoe drops.

I sighed and rubbed my left eye. “Ah, okay. There we go, something I can answer. First and foremost, I dress and act however I want regardless of how a man sees me. How he chooses to warp me in his head, in anyone one’s head, is their problem. I will talk, dress, act, laugh anyway I want because at the end of the day— I have to live with myself and love myself. That’s how I go about my business.”

She began clapping and nodding, her lips pursed.

Oh god, she was tipsy.

Angie snapped her fingers. “Exactly. And! And the beauty standards men put on us and other women expect each other to uphold is ridiculous. Like how the hell is one figure more attractive than another. Women are—! Women, men, everybody should be appreciated. Why, Why do we have to favor one type more over the other? I-I mean, I understand preferences but to subject people to a set criteria when some of us aren’t even capable of accomplishing that standard. It’s—! It’s preposterous.”

Angie raised her free hand to her forehead and she scratched it. “Take Aliena and Cassie for example, they can’t become more flat-chested. They can’t make them smaller. Nor, nor can they help their curvy figures! Why should society tell them to, you know, bind their breasts or something. Or to hide their figures in loose fitted clothing! They’re beautiful! Beautiful!”

All of us shared a glance at one another before bursting with laughter. We laughed so much that I’m sure all of our stomachs ached in pain.

Through her laughter, Cassied rasped. “Angie, Angie sit the fuck down ‘n take a breather, hon’! For the love of...”

I chimed in. “Yes, please sit down before you blow a casket ‘n like faint or some shit.”

Angie pouted through a smile and plopped down on the couch. “I’m just saying. I mean Aliena, you exercise, right? Like, you work out in a way that a man does. Not just take strolls or ride bikes.”

I wiped under my eyes before nodding ‘n sniffling. “Yeah, I do. I exercise for myself. I don’t do it to please society or any man. I do it for me.” I shrugged my shoulders and turned my attention back to Dougie’s hair.

Angie snapped her fingers and pointed at me. “Thank you. I love you. Thank you. And that’s why I want to tear down Hollywood.”

“Ah—!” I snickered and shook my head before blowing her a kiss.

After that fiasco, things called down a bit ‘n I went back to talking to Dougie. He was tapping my thigh when he quickly picked up his head and said, “You know I finished developing the photos.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “The photos…? Oh, shit! The photos! How’d they come out?”

Some weeks ago, Dougie bought this camera and wanted to practice his photography skills. He loved the art, but it could never be his main job, for obvious reasons. His father was passing on the company to him, so we all know how that goes. Anyway, I made the suggestion that the gang could be like his practice models ‘n eventually I got everyone to agree.

It was fun, obviously! I helped position everyone and of course, I had to sneak in some 21st century gestures. I just hated that I wouldn’t be alive to see my grandbabies’ faces. I’ll break the timeline, just for this reason. To fuck with my descendents.

During the day, we went to an empty grassland area and had like a cottagecore photoshoot. It was fucking fantastic! One thing from my bucket list I was lucky to complete. But at night, it was a more risque photoshoot. And yes, even Horace participated in it. I made him as did Angie.

Dougie smiled and nodded. “I think they came out to be pretty good. I’ll bring them next time. It just slipped my mind today.”

I psh-ed him and shoved his head away from me before throwing my head back in a cackle. We talked a bit more before I beckoned somewhere else. I eventually made it back to Cassie, and I was sitting on the couch while she was on the floor. I was messing around with her hair. Right now, I was making a bunch of braids.

Cassie was eating some fruit while she was talking to Angie. “Okay, but like who was your first kiss?”

Angie hummed through hooded eyes with an arm hanging in the air. “Oh, it was Tina.”

I spluttered and began spazzing out. I scurried off the couch and started running around the room while shouting over and over again. “No way! No way! No fucking way!”

Cassie joined my freak out session by rolling around on the floor and slapping the couch behind her, where I was previously sitting. When I felt calm enough, I ran back to my spot.

I shouted. “No fucking way!”

Angie chortled. “What? Why is it such a big deal?”

“Uh...” Cassie and I just looked at each other. In an American accent, I said. “Well, I mean. I don’t wanna be a bitch, but like when I felt met y’all… You guys were kinda sus. Like Tina, full truth, I thought you had a humongous crush on Angie ‘n yeah so, um, yeah. Did y’all date or…?”

Angie’s eyes widened and she rose from Tina’s lap, who was stunned, by the way. Angie snatched a pillow from the couch and chucked it at me.

“She’s. Just. Shy. And we were kids when we just did it! It was innocent.” Angie yelled.

I cried out when the pillow hit me. Through my laughter, I replied. “I’m sorry!”

Angie huffed as she laid back down on Tina’s lap. “Yeah, yeah. You’re not the only one to think it. People just get the wrong idea. She’s just shy.” Angie reached up and caressed Tina’s face. “Oh, we’ve both kissed Horace, too.”

My jaw dropped and a hand flew over my mouth. I looked at Cassie and Dougie, who were just as shocked as me. I screamed into my hand and began running around the room again, only this time I wasn’t alone. Dougie was running in the opposite direction of me.

He zipped over to Horace while I tackled Cassie on the couch. Well, I more like got her in a headlock ‘n swung her around a bit as I settled onto the couch.

Tina groaned, averting her gaze from us before running a hand through her hair. She asked. “Well, who were your guys’s first kiss?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Ugh, I guess my first kiss was with my childhood best friend too. Name was Brooklyn.”

“Mine was with Mary, she was a classmate.” Cassie replied.

Angie tsked. “See a girl, right? Why are you harping on us for?”

Cassie and I just shrugged. It was like we had this silent agreement that we weren’t gonna bring up the fact that we kissed each other on the lips as a greeting and a farewell.

“Hey, do you guys think I would look hotter with blonde hair?” I asked.

They all began telling me what they thought.

Later in the night, we just went wild ‘n I was happy for it. Michael and Arthur didn’t cross my mind once. We blasted our records, danced the night away while chatting, drinking, and smoking away.

I was overwhelmed with emotions at the end of the night because—… Because I never thought I would have a friend group like this, and now that I did— it was surreal. I genuinely felt that I wouldn’t be in the mental state I was in, if they weren’t in my life.

They made everything that much better. I was always happy with Tommy, but that feeling was contorting into something else now. You know? It was becoming increasingly more platonic, and as much as that should feel liberating— it frightened me.

I have a million reasons why I held out for him for this long and why it frightens me so, and I’m not going to dwell on them. To be honest, I think the moment he did reciprocate my feelings and he told me, I probably would numb myself immediately. I would just be in such a state of shock that I’d deny his feelings ‘n just move the fuck on.

‘I mean that’s what is expected of me, right?’

Since I am the way that I am. I can’t just blame it on social media’s influence. I mean when I imagined the scenario I end up cringing a ton, and I send myself into like a “tic fit.” It’s the best I can describe it.

Anyhow, back to how the night went! We got super drunk, super high, and probably pissed off Cassie’s neighbors but we settled down at like three or four in the morning. The people living downstairs were most likely the most grateful since we were jumping around like crazy people.

We, collectively, all crawled onto Cassie’s bed ‘n knocked out. I was probably the first to sleep. I’m not going to tell ya a blag. It was completely plausible. But, what I loved most about tonight— it was that I was surrounded by people who loved me. It was warm and I felt safe. Something I wasn’t even able to feel in my own home at times when I was back in my own universe.

Cassie was the big spoon while I was the little, and Dougie was her big spoon. I made sure to avoid being in the middle anymore. I talked to Cassie and she was fine with my touching. She said I showed her the same amount of attention, and she knew I didn’t fancy him— so we were good.

However, I didn’t want to interfere with a perfectly good moment. So, I chose to be on the outside while Cassie was in the middle. Yeah, that didn’t stop her from cuddling me instead. I was too intoxicated and tired to tell her to cuddle Dougie instead.

When I woke up, I found it to be fairly early in the morning because the sky was grey. There’s a difference to the 6 am sky and the 8 am sky, okay! I didn’t get up right away. I wanted to savor the tranquility that surrounded me for a little while longer. But like all sweet things, they must come to an end.

My guess is that I was probably stirring around too much by accident ‘n woke up Cassie, who inadvertently awoke Dougie. I tried coaxing her back to sleep, but it was too late for the both of them. Begrudgingly, I inched my way off the bed and strolled over to the table.

Dougie was right behind me. I could hear his loud yawn from behind me, and then his hands gently fell on top of my head. My head bobbled as he kissed the top of my head.

“Mornin’, Ali.”

I smiled and while my head did a little dance, I replied. “Morning, Dougie.”

He pulled out a chair for me before going to sit on his own. While gripping the arms of the chair, I scooted closer to the table. I craned my head back to see Cassie on the phone, no doubt ordering food.

We really didn’t begin talking till the food came. I think we were just still sleepy, but food and orange juice helped. Horace was the first to get up ‘n he attacked the bacon. Then, it was Tina and finally, Angie. Who was very grumpy, by the way. So not happy about being awake.

I don’t know how it happened, but eventually we broke out into a food fight. It was awesome.

“Oi! Fucking watch it!” I exclaimed as I narrowly dodged a ketchup covered egg. I knew it was covered in ketchup ‘cause I saw Tina drown them in it. I grabbed a syrup-soaked waffle and chucked it at Dougie.

It got him right on the side of his face. He exclaimed and his face contorted in disgust. My mouth immediately contorted into deep frown ‘n my eyebrows raised, and when his crazed eyes found mine— I gasped. My gasp was so deep like a man’s that I hurt my throat doing it.

I held my hands up as I croaked. “Wait.” He inched closer to me. “Wait! Wait!” I turned my back and started running. Something you should know about me, I never liked being chased. It gave me another type of anxiety and happiness— it was so weird.

Eventually, Dougie caught me and we started wrestling with each other. Through our grunts, I heard the phone ring and Cassie hopped across the room to get to it. She landed on the bed and crawled to the phone. While sitting on her knees, she answered the phone.

I turned my attention back to Dougie and tried crawling away from him as he attacked my sides. It wasn’t my tickle spot, but I laughed at the pain of his fingers digging into my sides, nonetheless.

“I’m sorry!” I yelled. “I’m sorry! I give, now cut it out.”

Dougie loosened his hold and sat up on his knees, flipping his bangs to one side as he did so. I didn’t hesitate to get up on my feet.

“Never!” He shouted. “You got syrup on my face.”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. I playfully yelled as I charged at him ‘n I barely managed to get him into a headlock when Cassie shouted for me. She motioned the phone toward me, and my smile dropped as did my hold on Dougie.

I walked over to the phone and brought it to my ear. While taking some of the hair that fell into my mouth, I said. “Hello?”

“Aliena, love.” Polly sniffled before continuing, “Thank god you’re alright. Um, I need you to come home, darling.”

“Polly, you’re crying. What’s happened?” I’m only half-ashamed to admit that I was exaggerating my concern. Hard to actually experience when I already knew what was up.

“It’s Michael. He’s been arrested. You need to come home to the house in Small Heath. We’re gonna have a family meeting.”

“Is Tom there yet?”

Polly sniffled again before replying, “No, not yet. You still have time before it begins, so come quickly. Love you.”

“Love you too. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” I hung up the phone and looked back at my mates. They were all looking at me concernedly. I waved my finger around before finding the words. “I, uh… I need to go. Cassie, can you tell Simmons—!”

She nodded. “Of course.” Cass instantly grabbed the phone and began calling him.

I glanced at my mates one more time before walking over to the closet. I put on this off-white frock with some black heels. I didn’t fix my hair up or put on any makeup. I just packed up my things, threw on my coat, and hurried out the door. I bade everyone farewell before leaving.

I ran out of the car and into the house. I threw my backpack on the couch before shouting, “Polly, I’m here!”

Faintly, I could hear Polly gasp and then we met each other halfway in the kitchen. She pulled me into a hug and squeezed the breath right out of me.

“Thank god!” She said. “Thank god you’re okay.” Polly parted from our hug ‘n began stroking my hair and face.

Footsteps coming from my right caught my attention, and I hugged Finn, John, and Esme as they came up to me. All us exchanging words about how we were all glad that one another was okay. John caught me up to date as Polly was fawning over me.

She couldn’t stop stroking my hair and kissing my temple. I didn’t mind it, but everything she did was exemplified since I wasn’t used to this sort of treatment from her. Well, I was ‘n it always happened in some sad event in our lives, and that’s probably what’s upsetting me the most.

I managed to get her to sit down, and smoked a ciggie with her. Tom sure took his time coming home. It took him, perhaps, twenty to thirty minutes later before he strided through the kitchen and into the shop.

I stubbed my ciggie out, just as Tom said. “John?”

“Coppers have lifted 10 of our men in Camden town, the rest of them on the run.” He replied.

Finn added. “Tom, they've taken Michael.”

Polly rose from her seat and walked closer to the family and I followed suit, taking the opposite door to lean on.

Tom waved Finn off saying, “Business first.”

“They took Michael— ”

“I said business first.”

“They picked him up—!”

“Polly, business first!”

‘Great! Went from having an awesome time last night to an anxiety ridden morning. I love my life. Wow, way to make it about myself. I’m amazing!’

Tom gave Pol one last look before asking John to continue. Polly looked vulnerable. She looked, sorry to say, pitiful. She was desperate to help Michael, but— obviously, Tom had an agenda he was intending to follow.

John continued. “They took all our whisky. So no doubt they'll be supping that for Christmas. They've impounded all our vans, put their own locks on the warehouse. The Eden Club and all our pubs have been raided by the coppers and handed back to Sabini and Solomons. The Black Country boys think it was Arthur who killed Billy because that's what the coppers told them. So there'll be no more free passes for our whisky boats.”

“I don't give a fuck about whisky. I don't give a fuck about Billy Kitchen.” Polly said as she walked over to the table and began to lightly slam her hand down on it as she spoke, “I want my son out of prison now.”

Esme decided to speak up, at the wrong time. “Thomas, I spoke to Johnny Dogs.”

“This meeting should just be family.” Polly insisted.

‘Ah—! Ma’am, the fuck does that make me? Oh, wait, family! You, idiot, you.’

“I can help.”

“-It's family only, she's not blood.”

“Let her speak.” Tom interjected, but Polly kept on going.

“Tommy! Or is this a business… How you forgotten family—!”

“ENOUGH!”

My hand flew to my mouth and I swear to God, my heart sank to my arse. ‘Holy fuck is the wrong, but holy hell is it erotic!’

I was given the side eye by multiple people in the room, and I quickly numbed my feelings. Faster than I ever had to before. I stood up straight and cleared my throat.

Tom looked back at Polly as he said. “Enough, Polly. Esme.”

“I spoke to Johnny Dogs. The Lees are kin.”

“The bloody Lees!” Polly exclaimed

“They can give us men.”

“We don't need more fucking men! It's men that have done the damage! It's… It is men fighting like cockerels that have put us here in the first place.”

Tommy said. “Esme, I'll take up their offer. We need men.”

There was this pregnant silence that stilled between all of us, and it made me bounce on my heels.

Polly pointedly stared at Tommy, inching closer to him as she said. “If Michael ever gets out of prison, I am taking him away from this family, for good.” She took a step back from Tom and waved her hands around her. “This life is bad.”

Polly walked over to Finn ‘n grabbed him by the arm. “This life is all bad.” She began dragging him away and made a beeline for me. Pol gripped my arm ‘n began pulling me away too.

“Ah!” I exclaimed as my feet skidded across the floor.

“Aunt Pol, what’re you doin’?” Finn cried out as we were both being tugged away.

“Shut up and walk.”

I managed to crane my head back for one last look at Tom before Pol had tugged Finn and I out of the house. Tommy didn’t meet my gaze.

Polly ushered us in her car and drove us to the house in Sutton. She ordered us to stay in the house, but I knew where she was going. I saw her make a call, which went on for sometime, before she darted for the door.

I think she was calling Ada.

I grabbed her arm as she turned to leave. “Polly, wait! Where are you going?”

She sighed before taking my face into her hands. “I’m going to go see if I can get my son out by myself. Thomas isn’t going to help, so I’m doing this on my own.” Polly stroked the side of my face as she looked into my eyes.

“Don’t go...” I whispered.

Pol sucked on her teeth before shaking her head. I gripped her wrists as they were still close to my face and said. “I can—! I can call someone. My mates can help. They’re Michael’s mates too, so I’m sure they won’t mind.”

She shook her head and gently tugged her hands away from my face. I let her wrists go without hesitation. With one hand on my shoulder, and the other waving around as she talked, she said. “No. No, I can’t have your friends knowing about this side of the family. They’re different from us ‘n they need to have the best image of you they can. I will deal with this on my own. I will deal with this on my own as I’ve always done.”

Polly quickly kissed my forehead and left just as I was about to continue to beg her not to. I ran after her, but my reaction time was a little too late since she was already in the car. I shouted after her, but she took off.

I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t—! I couldn’t interfere when she didn’t want me to, so I just walked back into the house ‘n focused on taking care of Finn. We spent our time talking and playing card games. I finished making our lunch when Ada showed up. I knew she’d show up. ‘Cause of the episode, of course.

She brought Karl, which made everything better ‘n brighter for a while.

I spent time playing with the baby and catching up with Ada. Eventually, I left Ada alone with Finn since I’m sure she’d wanted to talk to him alone. I had the maid make dinner ‘n eventually sent Finn’s lanky butt up to a room. Had the maid prepare it for him beforehand. Ada and I talked into the night till Karl grew tired.

She took another room and retired for the night. On the other hand, I only went up stairs to change into something more comfortable, then I went back down to wait for Polly to come back home. I basically wore a nightgown and put my hair into a ponytail.

I knew Polly was going to want to take a bath ‘n I wanted to be the one to help her. It was only right since she’d helped me when I needed it.

I hated myself. I hated myself. I could’ve tried harder. I could’ve used better words to persuade her. I could’ve—!

Polly stumbled in at around eleven o’clock at night. I sprang up from the couch ‘n she didn’t even make a fuss about the fact I was up. Pol stumbled into my arms with the stench of alcohol on her breath.

“Ali my love!” She slurred as she leaned all her body weight on me.

I muffled a groan as I held her up.

Polly picked herself up a bit and slapped her hands on my face. I flinched at the force she put behind it.

“Beautiful...” She whispered. “Absolutely beautiful...” Her thumbs roughly wiped the space under my eyes. Bringing them up and down and stretched back.

“Polly,” I whispered. “What’s happened?”

Her head jerked back and she stumbled away from me. Averting my gaze, she replied. “Is done. Michael with—! Michael will be out within, at, in the morning.”

I smiled and clapped my hands in front of my mouth. “That’s great news, Polly!”

She smiled and nodded, drunkenly. Like she was nodding like a bobble head, someone who wasn’t in control of their motor functions. Polly’s gaze drifted to the side and she pointed to the tub. “Were you gonna take a bath?”

I shook my head. “Oh, no. I thought about it, but then I was waiting for you to come home. I had the fire lit. Why? Did you want to take a bath?”

Polly stumbled forward and gripped my arms, steadying herself before she nodded. “Yes. Yeah. Ali, darling, can you be so kind… And help me?”

I nodded, my eyebrows furrowing in concern. I ran to the kitchen and filled up the bucket for hot water. This house actually had a water heater ‘n that meant hot water from the tap. I had to make a few trips back ‘n forth but it was quicker than it would’ve been at the other house.

“Alright, all done.” I turned back to Polly, who was sitting on the couch as she gazed into the fire. Her head shot up when I spoke. I turned around as a way to give her the privacy she needed to undress.

I could sense her walking toward the tub and I turned my body more to the left while closing my eyes. Slowly, I got down to my knees ‘n sat on them. I wanted to give her the respect she deserved. The water sloshed as she dipped her body in the tub.

“Can you pass me the soap and sponge, love?” Polly asked me.

My eyes fluttered open instantly and I crawled to where I had placed the body soap and sponge earlier. I reached up for them and then crawled back over to her before giving them to her.

I sort of just sat there as she bathed herself. Her movements were sluggish and looked to be done with great difficulty. I knew it was wrong, but I wanted to pry. I wanted her to open up to me and just cry about it. I didn’t want her to keep it in. However, I knew that was wrong, so I just picked at the carpet below me.

Eventually, I couldn’t stand doing nothing and I asked her if I could shampoo her hair. She gave me a sloth-like smile and gave me permission. I reached up for the shampoo, took off my sheer robe, and shuffled on my knees around the tub.

Polly leaned forward to give me some room. I scooped up some of the water from the tub using the pitcher and poured it along her hairline, slowly making my way to the back of her scalp.

Shampooing someone else’s hair was always something comforting to me. I did Cassie’s hair all the time as she did mine. It was a type of intimacy that was more innocent than others types.

I began humming something from Billie Holiday. I didn’t know the song by heart, but I knew some of the words ‘n rhythm enough. I was rinsing her hair when Polly’s shoulders began to shake. Muffled sobs escaped her nose as she shakily took deep breaths.

I didn’t know what to do or say. I didn’t know if it was appropriate to touch her and hug her, so I asked. I asked if it was alright if I hugged her. Like a child, she nodded through her sobs.

I hugged Polly from behind. She was wet, I knew that. I was painfully aware of the new sensation of my dress sticking to my body and her cold hair against my cheek. Everything in my being was screaming and begging me to launch myself backward, away from her— but my heart was pleading for me to do the opposite.

My heart wanted to absorb her pain, and it was my heart that won. I choked back my tears. I didn’t have the right to shed them. I could’ve saved her from this pain. I could’ve prevented this. But, ultimately when I blinked, they slipped down my cheeks.

I didn’t pry, I stayed true to my word. We composed ourselves simultaneously and silently.

“Love?”

I wiped my nose on my arm before answering, “Yes?”

“Can you get me a cigarette? They’re in my purse.”

I nodded as I muttered. “Of course.” I rose to my feet and walked over to her purse, which was on the sofa. I put one in my mouth and lit it. With it still hanging off my lips, I took a quick puff as I grabbed the ashtray. I placed it on the stool that had the soaps on top, and then passed Polly her ciggie.

I walked back around to the chair that was behind her ‘n admired the fire crackling. Ada came in not too long after. I left…

Truthfully, I didn’t know why I left.

I trudged up the stairs all the way to my room. I closed the door behind me and slid down it.

I felt like a complete piece of shit and hollow and empty. My face scrunched up in a sob, but no tears came out. There was this increasingly more painful headache forcing me to acknowledge it, and with it came anger and annoyance. I wanted to punch the walls. I wanted to throw stuff around. I wanted to kill Campbell for what he’s done to this family.

I wanted his blood. I wanted to slit his throat. I wanted to bite a chunk of his neck out. I wanted…

I heaved a deep breath and found it still difficult to breathe. I crawled forward on all fours with one hand supporting my weight while the other clutched my throat. I took deep breaths till finally I couldn’t take it anymore.

I had to release these emotions inside of me. The need to punish myself became overwhelming, and my eyes flickered to the suitcase that laid under my bed.

I shook my head. ‘I couldn’t afford any marks’ I thought.

With my other job, my body is a tool ‘n any harm to it hinders my ability to get it done.

So, I yanked the straps of my gown down and let it fall under my waist. Ferociously, I began to claw away at my neck, arms, and stomach. The burn. The burn was what I needed.

And when I stopped, the pain took over but as much as it meant everything— it was also nothing.

Slowly, I brought the straps of my gown back up to my shoulders, rose to my feet, and sauntered over to my bed. I climbed in it and just laid there while staring at the lamp that was always on at my desk. I fell asleep, eventually…

The next morning, Polly came into my room ‘n asked if I wanted to come with her to go ‘n get Michael. I felt like she wanted me to go with her, so I said I’d go. While dressing up, I was glad to see that none of the scratches I’d made scarred up.

I made sure to dress warmly since we would be going out so early in the morning and then we headed off to pick him up. We didn’t make any conversation during the drive or as we waited for him to come out.

But nothing— and I mean nothing, could tear my eyes away from the scarf around her neck.

I chose to lean against the wall as we waited while Polly was pacing back ‘n forth on the pavement. When Michael walked out, the first thing I noticed was the ugly bruise on his right cheek. Then, I noticed the little cuts all around his face. The need to comfort him was strong, but he walked straight toward his mother while smoking a ciggie.

“You need cream on them cuts or they'll go bad.” Polly said to ‘em.

Michael didn’t reply. He took a drag before saying, “The screws told me why I've been freed. They told me what you did.”

Polly looked away from Michael. Her gaze found mine, and she hurriedly looked away from me too. Polly stared straight on, instead.

“They thought it was funny.” He continued. Michael took another puff before he said. “Maybe it is.”

The urge to degrade and make someone cry had never been activated so fast in me before now. I glared at Michael as he walked away. My blood boiled with each step he took.

With my foot, I launched myself away from the wall and walked to Polly’s side. I put a hand on her shoulder and whispered. “C’mon. Let’s go. He probably needs time is all.”

Polly said nothing, but allowed me to lead her over to the car.

Michael eventually had to come home, and he had the audacity to knock at my door. Of course, I let him in but only to give him a piece of my mind.

“Do you even know what she did?” He shouted.

“She got you out, didn’t she? Why should you care how?” I shouted back.

“She fucked Campbell to get me out. She prostituted herself!”

I pretended to process it and be shocked before I continued. “And? So fucking what? Who are you to say that it was funny, huh? Fucking bastard! Fucking ungrateful prick!”

I wanted to put my hands on him so badly, but I resorted to punching my palms repeatedly instead. As well as folding in on myself.

I whipped my hair back and ran a hand through my hair.

“You’re tellin’ me you don’t see anything wrong with that? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Of course there’s something wrong with that! Campbell abused his position and abused his powers. He raped your mother!”

His face fell.

I scoffed. “Did you actually think I would side with you? Oh, fuck you, Michael. I would’ve done the same for me own son and so much more. She did that out of desperation ‘n fear ‘n pure maternal love! And—! And, you threw it back ‘n her face! I mean look at you, Michael. How much more of that could you have withstood?”

“All of it! I would have taken every beating… Every fucking—!” Michael choked up and rose his fists over his eyes.

I averted my gaze. My tongue prodded the inside of my cheek as I violently shook my right leg. I tsked before rushing toward Michael and pulled him into a hug. Weakly, he hugged me back.

Muffled, I said. “I’m not the one who has to forgive you for the things you said, but me and you are not alright right now. And I need you to respect the fact I need some time to process and get over what you said to her. It was very insensitive and I don’t play when it comes to situations like that. I don’t care about the excuse. You should have comforted her or each other when you were given the chance.” I parted from the hug and turned around.

I didn’t turn back around till I heard my door shut from behind me.

About a week and a half has passed since Michael’s release and we’re still not on good terms. He hasn’t apologized to Polly for what he said, so obviously I wasn’t going to just sweep that shit under the rug. Little shit would have no idea how much restraint it took to not slap him across the face!

Of course I encourage him to “get it over with” and “clear the air.” But the stubborn twat was like his mum, and he refused to do so. It was like that conversation we had went in one ear and out the other. So, I’ve just steered clear of ‘em. Pissed me off just looking at him.

Anyway, John and I went to visit Arthur in jail. He was pretty rough, but when was Arthur not? We just visited him to see him. Tommy didn’t have a plan drawn up yet. Other than that, I’ve been busy with work. Legit and side hustle alike.

Since the coppers fucked with the inventory, Tommy needed my help with the numbers and had me running around more often. At the same time, Dom gave me hit orders every other day.

Some of the hit orders were during the day as well! I had to run off to get that job done, then hurry back to Small Heath. I’m just lucky nobody gets on my arse. Tommy could, no doubt there, but he was busy himself and I got the job done anyway.

I knew he had some Peaky men or juniors watching me, for my “protection.” I knew they told him what I was doing, where I was going, but they never found out what I did. I had to let Dom know what was going on at home, and he helped me get away from them.

Was it suspicious? Short answer, yes.

Not like I could stop the side, though. The second season was coming to an end soon and what happens on Derby Day determines if I’m staying in this family or not. I, myself, don’t even know what to expect.

I mean, it’s obvious he’s going to sleep with Grace and knock her up. What the fuck did I even want to happen? Did I want him to just confess to me and we get together instead? Well, of course, I want that to happen! But it’s not. And I can’t even see Tommy doing something as cringy as that. Yes, cringy.

The idea of him just springing on a confession on me still made me cringe up. My feelings have never been recuperated, so if they were to finally be mutual— there’s a good chance I wouldn’t have the romantic reaction I would be hoping for. Sad truth, but what could I do? Not like I had control over what my crushes felt.

So, basically, if Grace is pregnant— I’ll quietly go away. I haven’t brought it up to Cassie yet, but I’m planning on slumming it with her. Just for a while, I know I have enough money to buy a house of my own. I would probably get Dom to do it for me, though, since I had no idea how to do it.

If Tom tried to find me, then I’d just hide at Dom’s place. I’m sure he’d let me. On the topic of Tom, though— I missed him. Like talking to him, bugging him, and especially seeing his face. I was being deprived of my daily dose of serotonin. It was a crime!

Despite all that, today was a night of relaxation. I’d planned to go out with my mates, but since it’d be too dangerous to go South— they had to come to me. Ridiculous, I know but Tom insisted on the idea the last time I saw him. Even though I’d been going all around the fucking country for a week and a half.

We were in the snug at the Garrison. Smoking a few cigs while sipping on our bevvies. It was a girls’ night despite the fact that Finn was here. Let him have two pints, and that was it. He was still working on his first like a good lad.

Angie spat. “I mean who the fuck does that bitch think she is? Just because her mum is a famous pianist doesn’t mean she is too! Dumb dora doesn’t know about key or pitch to save her life.”

I raised my eyebrows and slurped my bevvy. I smacked my mouth before asking. “Hey, Ange. How are you and Horace?”

Her movements faltered and a smile crept up on her face. I gasped and my hand shot over my mouth.

“Oh my god! Oh my god, are you two finally dating? Are youse dating?” My hand flew back to Cassie’s arm and I gripped it while shaking her. She was just as excited as I was.

Angie couldn’t meet my gaze to save her life. “I-! We… Yeah, we’re dating. I, I said yes.”

All of us girls squealed and congratulated her. Internally, I was congratulating my boy, Horace. My mans was pinning after Angie since childhood and he finally got the girl.

Even material to make a story out of, oop! Mayhaps.

She told us how it happened. They had been in a fight since her father secretly set her up on a blind date and he’d caught them as she was out. Horace didn’t blow up on them at the spot, but Angie felt compelled to follow him out the restaurant they were dining in. On the street, he aggressively professed his love and told her he couldn’t bear to beat around the bush anymore. He gave her an ultimatum, and she was thrown off by how assertive he was being. It made her heart flutter, and she confessed she felt the same.

Another round of squeals at the table, please! Poor Finn, he had to suffer through us. His own fault for volunteering to, like, chaperone me.

The topic changed to the ball Cassie had for her 21st birthday. This happened like a couple of Fridays ago since her birthday was on the tenth of February. It was really extravagant and the theme was like a royal ball. So, we got to dress up in these really amazing ball gowns. I wore this beautiful green ball gown that was most likely akin to 16th century fashion, as one man told me.

I wouldn’t know the exact period my dress resembled since that wasn’t my area of expertise. Glad the man knew, though!

Cassie tapped me on my arm, her face contorted in confusion. “Ali… What did we do for your birthday?”

I blinked before smiling. “Oh, we didn’t do anything.”

Her face immediately contorted in horror and she looked at Angie and Tina, which of course made me do the same. They had the same expression on their faces.

Tina raised a finger and began wagging it as she said. “Wait a minute… Did we even do something for your birthday last year?”

“Uh...no.” My eyes kept flickering between the three of them and I watched as the horror deepened in their faces.

They began showering me in apologies, and while it did comfort me— it annoyed me at the same time. ‘Like it was too late for apologies since the days already passed. So, like why sweat it now?’

The girls surrounded Ali and showered her in apologies. Finn watched from the sidelines. He saw the flicker of discomfort on Ali’s face before she began to smile.

He knew that his family had forgotten about her past two birthdays as well, and he wanted to get something for her. But the last time he did that— he got in trouble for it. So, the best he did was wish her happy birthday.

“Okay! Okay! We obviously just have to throw the biggest party ever to make up for them both.” Cassie said, her lips pursing as she talked. Tina and Angie nodded, but Ali sighed.

She shook her head while clutching her forehead. “No. No, it’s alright really. My birthday passed. I don’t need anything.”

The girls dismissed her wishes, which annoyed the crap out of Ali and Finn.

Ali rubbed her eyes roughly before waving her hands up. “Okay, okay, fine! We can have a little something. It has to be little. I’m not allowed South, so—!”

Cassie cut her off. “That’s completely alright. We can do it here like last time. You know?” She looked around the room. Tina and Angie nodded in agreement.

Ali thought about it and just succumbed to her mates’ wishes. Ali took a breath and thought about it in a different perspective. Instead of holding onto the fact her birthdays were overlooked, she was just appreciative that they, at least, wanted to celebrate it now.

They girls talked it out and they decided they would reconvene next Friday at the Garrison. Finn was welcomed to join, and the lad was not going to miss it for anything in the world because of what they were planning.

These girls were planning to get “fucked up.” More specifically, Aliena “fucked up.” He had some idea of what that meant, and he knew he wasn’t going to like it.

Eventually, Finn ended up asking Aliena what that meant, and she told him that her mates basically wanted to get her really drunk. He knew he wouldn’t like it.

That week Finn, Aliena, and the girls were all just really preparing for the “doomsday.” Aliena was pumped up to have fun with her girls in her honor, and couldn’t decide what she to wear. The girls were trying to find gifts for her birthdays, you know, since they missed two of ‘em.

While Finn, he was going through it. He was debating so hard whether or not to tell Tom. He didn’t know if he should. He usually would have, but with things being so tense lately— he really didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news or add fuel to the fire. So, he decided against it and was just glad to be invited. He also looked for a gift.

The day of the party both Finn and Aliena visited Tommy’s office. Aliena went to give him his dinner at around 5:30. She had yet to get dressed for the night, but her hair was beautifully done in waves from the braids she made the night before. She had half of it up since if it was all down— her hair would be too poofy.

Aliena knocked on Tom’s door before entering. Tom was finishing up some last minute paperwork. He didn’t tell Aliena, but he was going to Ada’s house to meet up with Grace. She’d called some weeks ago, and Tom was finally available enough to meet her.

She rested the basket on his desk and moved a piece of her hair away from her face. “Here you go, Tommy. Have a nice night.”

Tom picked up his head and his eyebrows wanted to furrow as he took in her appearance. Her hair was done nicely and she was wearing a nice outfit.

Ali had on a white tank top with a sheer white long-sleeved blouse over it and wore a ribbed off-white skirt that hugged her curves. She didn’t think anything of it, but Tom sure did.

He wondered if she got dressed up for another boy of hers, but then he realized he had no business admiring her or getting jealous. After all, he’d be meeting up with Grace in almost a half hour.

Tom looked into Aliena’s eyes ‘n noticed she was wearing a bit of makeup and holding a vanilla folder in her hand as well. “Night, Ali.” He replied.

Ali smiled at him, gave him a nod, and knocked on his desk before spinning around on her heels. Ali was almost out the door when her hand knocked into one of the chairs and the contents of the vanilla folder went flying. Ali cursed under her breath and bent down to collect the papers from the ground.

Tom’s eyes never left her arse. Tom recognized that Aliena was blessed with well-endowed features— ample breasts and a large behind as well as thighs. He admired the way her breasts hung from her body as she had to reposition herself to get a paper that had flown under the chair. He admired the arch of her back.

Tom realized he was acting like a pervert and resituatied himself. He silently cleared his throat and sat up straight while tugging on his pants. Aliena tapped the folder on the ground to straighten its contents before rising from her knees.

She smiled at him, sheepishly, as she tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. “Sorry ‘bout that, Tommy. Good night.”

Tom repeated the phrase under his breath and Aliena made it out the door without a mishap.

Finn came in not five minutes later, passing Aliena on the way to the office. He walked straight into Tom’s office.

Tom’s head shot up and he didn’t hesitate to begin speaking, “Finn, I want you to look after Aliena tonight. I’m going over to Ada’s and I don’t know when I’ll be back.” Tom had risen from his seat as he spoke. Putting on his coat and cap.

Tom walked over to Finn and clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Alright?”

Finn nodded. “Yeah, got it.”

Tom nodded and began walking ahead of his little brother, but then turned around all of a sudden. Tom pointed toward his desk ‘n said. “Oh and eat that for me, yeah? Aliena made it so… It should be good.”

Finn chuckled and took his brother up on the offer. He’d been starving.

Aliena rushed home and practically inhaled her meal. She didn’t want to eat, but since was planning to drink till her liver bursted— she didn’t want to knock out on the third drink. After eating, she hauled the tub to her room and took a bath.

Aliena decided tonight was the night.

She wasn’t going to wait for Tommy anymore.

She’s been building up to it and she didn’t care anymore. Virginity was just some societal construct anyhow. Plus, she wouldn’t tell anyone but she owned a dildo in her other universe ‘n yeah…

Aliena just assumed this body, that was very fucking different, had it’s hymen, so…

She freshened up and shaved her vagina. Not for the poor guy she was going to use, but for herself. Aliena was big on, “you like me for me or you can fuck off.”

Don’t worry Ali had her hair all tied up away from the water and when she was done— all she had to do was dry her body off.

Ali kept her towel on as she did her makeup. She kept it light and noir like she did for the Garrison’s reopening. After makeup, she slid on her dress. The best Ali could describe it was a loose body con dress that had ruffles that reminded her of a curtain. It was sky blue ‘n fit with the times.

Ali took down her hair once she was done putting on her dress. She tried her best to keep her waves, but they had ultimately lost most of their volume throughout the day. Aliena tried to not let it bother her. She put on her heels, grabbed a matching clutch, and her white fur coat.

Aliena walked over to Finn’s room ‘n knocked on his door, asking if he was ready. He didn’t answer from his room, but from downstairs. Aliena hurried down the flight of stairs, joined their arms once she was down, and then they were on their way to the Garrison.

Isaiah met them on the way, which was a pleasant surprise. Finn had invited him along ‘n of course Aliena wouldn’t mind. She hadn’t seen him in a long time, and she figured it was due to the business.

Aliena was escorted with two men around her arms to the Garrison and she chatted with them the whole way. She was all smiles and it warmed both the men’s hearts. More so Finn than Isaiah.

When they got to the pub, they instantly walked to the snug. They quickly seated themselves down ‘n got comfy. Isaiah ordered their bevvies from the window and they were served not too long after.

The gang couldn’t have gotten there not twenty minutes later. Their hands were occupied with gifts ‘n the boys were carrying the cake. Aliena couldn’t feel more loved ‘n appreciated. She greeted her mates with kisses and hugs ‘n thanked them for the party.

Aliena ended up thanking Douglas and Horace for showing up and for their gifts separately since she wasn’t expecting them. First manner of business was the birthday cake. Horace revealed this magnificent simple cake that had twenty candles around it.

Ali couldn’t stop covering her face as she smiled. She tried reeling in her emotions, but she never could act “right” when people sang her happy birthday. For her birthday wish, she wished that she’d continue on working on her happiness.

Before having a piece of cake, Aliena opened her presents. Cassie gave her another set of expensive jewelry that was to die for! Ali loved it! Douglas gave Aliena a new pair of shoes, a clutch, and a purse. While it wasn’t to die for, Aliena appreciated it since after all he didn’t even ask her what she wanted. It was ballsy to get a gift for Ali without talking to her first since her face usually gave her true thoughts away.

She’s worked on that since she was young, but sometimes it will show. Hasn’t happened yet, but doesn’t mean it won’t.

Angie gave Aliena more designer clothing while Horace bought her a typewriter. She absolutely gushed over their gifts, especially the typewriter. Tina’s present was Pride and Prejudice, Anna Karenina, Little Women, Romeo and Juliet, and The Picture of Dorian Gray. Aliena loved the fact that Tina gave her books. Truth be told, she hasn’t really read a book unless they were someone else’s.

Isaiah didn’t have a gift, so we can skip over him. Finn, on the hand, did. Ali was a little apprehensive about it since last time he got her a gift, he would’ve caught a charge if he was anyone else. It was a big box, too. Aliena shook the lid off the box to find a box of items packed inside. There were about five different shades of lipstick, two bottles of perfume, and a whole lot of makeup.

Ali couldn’t help but be in awe at the gift. She hugged Finn and thanked him for something so wonderful ‘n thoughtful. Finn was able to let go of the breath he was holding and felt extremely happy that she loved her gift. Swear, the boy had a smile for a majority of the night.

The minute Aliena was done opening her gifts, the real party began. Finn watched as Aliena and her mates took shot after shot after shot. He participated a bit himself, but out of conditioning from Aliena— he took his time. Isaiah was faring no better. He’d received the same order as Finn. His sole duty tonight was to protect Aliena ‘n the way she was drinking— he had a bad feeling something was gonna happen.

Eventually they made their way out of the snug ‘n began dancing more freely. Isaiah expertly manipulated Ali into only dancing with their mates. The minute she tried catching the eye of literally anyone else, he’d step in.

Out in the city, he had no problem with who she danced with or who she made out with. In Small Heath, his and every other person’s eyes were at stake. But more importantly, his eyes were at stake!

Truthfully, Aliena wasn’t actually drunk— she was buzzed! But, she wasn’t drunk. She was mimicking Cassie’s behavior, who was on a completely different level drunkenness than her. She did it in a sense of solidarity and recklessness. She felt that since they were celebrating her birthday, since it was her night— she should be able to act freely. Especially when she was trapped in Birmingham per Tommy’s orders.

Aliena was getting bored with just dancing and began to sing. She sang ‘Ain't No Other Man’ by Christina Aguliera. At first, it was just the mates who were aware that she was singing, but then other patrons heard her voice. Aliena was lifted in the air by a particularly strong ‘n tall patron and he set her down on the bar top.

Aliena “under the influence” began to sing as clearly as she could and belt as loud as she could, as much in tune as she could manage.

Not like they would know if she butchered the song or not.

Finn, who watched all of this go down, had enough. In his opinion, Aliena had gotten out of control ‘n it was out of his hands. So, he decided to get the big guns involved.

His senses were filled with her. Her perfume, the texture of her dress, the taste of her lips and the feeling of pressing them against his own.

So, what had changed for him?

Tom wondered why her kiss didn’t set him aflame like it did months ago.

“Tommy. Tommy, do you have someone?” She asked him.

Tom kissed Grace again.

“It's too late, Tommy.”

“It's 11:00, Grace.”

“I mean, it's too late. If you'd come with me to New York...”

“I had things to do.” He kissed her again, searching for that feeling. That feeling of completion and—! And wholeness.

“You mean the coin landed the wrong way?”

“It couldn’t have worked. That was the question.” Their lips met once more ‘n fiercer this time ‘round.

Grace parted from the kiss and breathily asked. “Tommy… Tommy, do you have someone?”

‘Yes?’ He thought as the memory of Aliena looking back at him at the park flashed in his mind. Tom took a deep breath. “I have a racehorse. She’s gonna win the Derby.” He said. Tom joined their lips again and this time— they didn’t part after a few seconds.

Tom was desperately seeking that feeling of passion, but he figured he was gettin’ into his own head by rushing it. So, he took it slow. Grace slipped down the sleeves of her dress, and it hardly did anything for him.

It aroused him, of course, but—! It wasn’t the same. It was akin to the times he’s laid with a prostitute.

‘You’re getting in your head, Tom. The feeling will come back. Take your time.’ He told himself. He led her backward toward the couch, his lips never parting from hers.

The more time he spent kissing her, the more that pit in his stomach grew.

That feeling wasn’t coming back.

Tom trailed down to her neck, and he paid attention to Grace there before going back to her lips.

‘Nothing. Nothing. Nothing! Give it some fuckin’ time, man!’

Then by the grace of God, the phone started going off. Tom parted from the kiss ‘n Grace’s hands flew to his face.

“Let it ring.” She rasped while trying to pull his face back to hers.

Tom never averted his gaze from the phone ‘n it didn’t stop ringing either. Annoyed, he got up from the couch and walked over to the telephone.

Tom had barely gotten the address out when Finn’s voice cut through the phone. “Tom, Tommy, are you there?”

“Finn, what’s happened? What’s wrong?” Panic overwhelmed his being and Tom began buttoning up his shirt.

The pub could be heard through the phone and Tom swore he could hear Aliena, but he thought he was just imagining it.

Finn cleared his throat. “Uh, Tom, it’s Ali. She’s kinda going outta control right now.”

“You are there when I'm a mess

Talk me down from every ledge

Give me strength, boy, you're the best!

You're the only one who's ever passed every test!”

Aliena’s belting could be heard from over the phone ‘n Tom sighed, exhaustedly.

Finn continued. “She’s dancing and singing on top of the bar at the Garrison. I just—! I don’t know. I thought you should know. I don’t know what to do! Do I just let ‘er or—?”

Tom exhaled deeply as he rubbed his forehead. “Finn, all right, calm down. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Get her off the fucking bar top ‘n make sure she doesn’t do anything else.” He hung up the phone, turned around, and faced Grace.

She looked confused with her eyebrows drawn together and Tom was half surprised to see that her dress was still down.

“Tommy,” She began. “What’s happened?”

Tom blinked before replying, “I, uh, I have to head back to Birmingham.”

“What?” She asked softly as she rose to her feet and slipped her sleeves back over her shoulders.

Tom began putting his coat on as he said. “I can drive you, if you’d like, or you can call a Taxi.”

Grace scoffed while shaking her head. “You're serious, Tom?”

Tom looked at her like she stated the obvious and gave her a curt nod. “Yeah.”

Grace’s jaw dropped a little as did her head. She picked up her head, steeled her gaze, and stood up straighter. “I can find my own way back.”

He nodded again before motioning her to follow him out the door.

The night didn’t go as he’d planned. But he had more important things to worry about.

‘Fucking Aliena!’

Aliena was just glad she was able to finish her song before Finn and Isaiah pried her off the bar top. She had her little moment ‘n that’s all that mattered to her. ‘Cause she managed to get the attention of most of the lads in the pub.

Some were just staring at her from afar while others actually walked up to her. But they only managed to get a few words in before they were run off by Isaiah. At first it was cute. Yes, Aliena thought it was cute that Isaiah was scaring off the blokes that approached her— but then it got annoying.

Why? Because he was ruining her fucking plan to lose her viriginity tonight!

“I’ma tell ya right now, mate. You either piss off or you’re losing your eyes, which one are you gonna pick?” Isaiah threatened the man in front of him.

The man scoffed and was about to say something when Isaiah reached up for his peaky cap.

“One...” Isaiah said ‘n that was all it took for the bloke to run off.

Aliena scoffed as she tried to look over Isaiah’s shoulder only to catch a glimpse of the guy running off. Aliena groaned and roughly shoved Isaiah in the chest. “The fuck are you doing, Saiah!” She shouted.

Isaiah raised his hands in surrender. “Look I’m sorry, Ali. All right, I’m sorry.”

Aliena’s face contorted in confusion and her head shook. “No, what the fuck is going on! You’ve never done this before, so what the ‘ell is up?”

Isaiah sighed and looked all around the room. He debated tellin’ her the truth or not, and he decided it would be easier if she just knew what was up. “Look, Ali… I can’t let any bloke in here have a go at you, all right?”

Her face didn’t change. “The fuck is that supposed to mean? The fuck you mean ‘you can’t let me’? Who’s...” Her voice trailed off as did her gaze.

‘No way!’ She thought. ‘There’s just no fucking way!’

Aliena huffed. “Di-Did Tommy—! Does Thomas have something to do with this?”

Isaiah nodded. He hesitantly said. “Tom… He ‘n the family ordered a long time ago that no one in Birmingham is allowed to have a go at ya. They’re not even allowed to accept a confession from you. And any Peaky Blinder who tries to disobey or not try ‘n help ya if you’re in danger, or knew about it ‘n let it happen— gets their eyes and tongues cut.”

Aliena was taken back by the rule. Some part of her was in awe that Tommy cared that much for her while the other was annoyed that he was.

Why the fuck did he have to go ‘n do that? Why the fuck was he preventing her from going out with guys when he had no intention of going out with her himself? It was fucking ridiculous!

Her nose wrinkled in her anger before she closed her eyes and tipped her head back. Aliena took a deep breath before clapping her hands in front of her. “Okay, Saiah! You have two options. One, you either keep on carrying out this ridiculous order Tom have you ‘n you’ll have to face my wrath. Or two, you call it a night and get out of my fucking way. So, what is it gonna be one or two?”

Isaiah didn’t hesitate. “Two.”

Ali raised her hand for a high-five, which Saiah reciprocated. “Good man.” Aliena said before walking off, on the prowl.

It took sometime before the men in the pub realized Isaiah was no longer lurking around Aliena and began approaching her again. Aliena was picky when choosing the man she wanted to lose her virginity to. After all, what’s the point of doing it if she wasn’t going to enjoy it? She wanted a man she could look at and be aroused from.

She was lucky enough to find one sitting at the bar when she walked over to get another drink. His name was Robert, last name unknown since she didn’t care for it. They made small talk, but Aliena wasn’t looking to get to know him. She just wanted to make sure she could get wet.

And she found that she could, as she began imagining all the positions he could put her in.

Tommy kept intruding on her imagination— hijacking her scenarios, but she’d just close her eyes ‘n take a moment. The next time she opened her eyes, he was gone.

Aliena brought her bevvy up to her mouth and took a sip before shoving Robert’s shoulder for something he said.

Unbeknownst to her, Tom had walked into the pub deadset on finding her. And that didn’t take very long. Tom witnessed Aliena’s little interaction firsthand. She was sitting on top of the bar top while flirting with some random fucking bloke. He didn’t know what infuriated him more.

The fact that someone dared to go against his orders, or that she was flirting with someone in front of his face.

Tom’s jaw dropped a little and his tongue prodded the inside of his cheek. He closed his mouth and nodded before he made a beeline for Aliena. As he grew closer, she’d finally noticed him. A smile on her face was quickly wiped off as Tom walked right up to her, tugged her off the top ‘n threw her over his shoulder.

Ali gasped and exclaimed. “What—!”

Tom hiked her further up his shoulder before spinning around and making his way toward the door. “Shut up, Ali.”

“--the fuck are you doing!”

Tom had no intention of letting her down. He feared she’d just talk her way out of it, or try to fucking run away. Tom was gonna give her the lecture of a lifetime whether she liked it or not. He wasn’t going to let her get the chance to go back to her mates and cause more embarrassment for herself.

Aliena was shouting at Tom to let her down. She was pounding on his shoulder as an extra measure, but it wasn’t like she was doin’ it hard either. The pounding resembled more like knocking or somethin’.

Eventually, Aliena huffed and just let herself be carried to wherever he was taking her. From the streets he was walking, Ali soon realized they were going to his flat. She tsked and tried to support her head up.

When they reached his front door, Tom hiked her up on his shoulder again before reaching for his keys.

Aliena rolled her eyes as she muttered. “I can walk on my own two feet, you know.”

Tom ignored her as he struggled to get his door unlocked and open. It was difficult with a body over his shoulders, but he did it. The minute he walked through the door— he let Ali down.

As she regained her footing, Tom locked the door behind him. Ali stabilized herself rather quickly and threw her head back with an overexaggerated groan as she stomped away from Tom ‘n toward the stairs.

Tom turned back ‘round and shouted. “Oi! Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

Ali rolled her eyes and faced him. A hip dropped as she said. “To bed.”

He shook his head. “No.” Tom walked right up to her face and repeated. “No. We’re going to talk about the little show you put on at the pub. Huh?”

Ali averted her gaze from him and began shaking her leg.

Tom grabbed her chin and made her face him. “Huh? What the fuck was that t’night?”

Aliena couldn’t tell ya a blag. What he did went straight to her cunt and the fact she was looking to fuck tonight— did not help her case at all.

Tom released her chin and waited for Aliena to answer.

She sighed and waved her left arm out before letting it drop to her side. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talkin’ about, Tom.”

He scoffed.

“I DON’T... know what you’re talking about ‘cause all I was doing was having some fun with my mates. That’s all.”

Tom shook his head. “No, that’s not all. You got on that bar top and sang and danced. You got drunk ‘n started making a fool of yourself.”

Aliena tsked, rolling her eyes, and throwing her head back. “I wasn’t fucking drunk.”

“Yeah fucking right!”

Aliena looked at him in disbelief. “You know what! You weren’t even fucking there, so I don’t even know how the fuck you knew about what I was doing, by the way! Don’t tell me you had another Peaky Blinder looking after me. ‘Cause that’d mean you sicked three people on me tonight, and I’d want to know the fucking reason for that too. ”

“Finn phoned me, worried about ya. And I did not sick three people on you tonight. I only told Finn to look after you.”

Aliena sighed deeply at the news, her eyes rolling again. A hand came up to her forehead and she rubbed it. “Finn...” She whispered. “Of fucking course, that goddamn kid.” Aliena didn’t even look at Tom again. Instead, she waved him off as she turned around while walking toward the staircase.

“And where do you think you’re going, Ali? We’re not done here!” He shouted as he watched her climb the stairs. His gaze naturally falling on her arse.

She craned her head back a little as she replied. “Yes, we fucking are. Both of our emotions are high right now. There’ll be no moving forward in this conversation. So good night, Tom.”

Tom shook his head, his pointer finger running over his bottom lip. Angrily, he ripped off his coat, and threw both it and his cap on his sofa. He marched up the stairs as he shouted for Aliena.

Dumbly, Ali was deciding which room she wanted to bunk in for the night, and it allowed Tom just enough time to catch up with her. He grabbed her by the crook of her arm and pulled her into his room. He threw her into it, to which she cried out.

“Jesus Christ, Tommy!” She yelled.

None of this was helping, by the way. This roughness he was handling her with. Yeah, she liked this! So, he wasn’t winning in the slightest.

His eyes were blown wide, and his hands were on his hips. With the wave of his finger, he asked. “Yeah ‘n who the fuck was that who you were talkin’ too? Eh!”

Aliena squeezed her hands into fists before letting them relax as she stifled her groan. “God, Tommy! Why the fuck does it matter?”

“Who was he, Aliena! I want a fucking name!”

“I DON’T KNOW! Okay? He’s name was Robert and that’s all I know.” She yelled louder than Tom, which was making his blood boil more. Aliena clapped her hands and with finger guns, she began. “You know fucking what? Answer my fucking question, Tom. Why the fuck do you care? Huh?”

Aliena inched closer to him, and making Tom stand up straighter, slightly.

“Why the fuck did you have your men scare away other men away from me? Explain it to me.”

Tom chuckled, humorlessly. “For your own protection, sweetheart.”

She shook her head. “No. I would’ve believed you if you only ordered them to maim anyone who tried assaulting me. That would make it believable. But to put a city wide order that I was not to be fucking approached in the slightest! That even if I went up to them, they better run the other fucking direction unless they wanted to lose their eyes! No… Fucking no. So, tell me, Thomas. What the fuck is up?”

Aliena was standing directly under Tom. She could hear his heavy breathing with clarity. He didn’t respond. She scoffed and walked away from him further into the room.

By the grace of “intoxication,” Aliena felt like she was finally bold enough. She was going to blame it on the alcohol. If what she was about to do, backfired on her— she’d deny, deny, deny.

Tom watched as Ali walked away from him before facing him. The air about her was different. She didn’t look angry and annoyed anymore; she looked like she was on a mission. It was attractive. Seductive. Arousing.

Aliena’s fingertips trailed up her arm, an eyebrow raised as she said. “You wanna know why I was even talking to Robert, Thomas.” Her fingertips grazed up her left shoulder and across her collarbone. “It’s because I intended on fucking him.” Her voice trailed off at the end.

Tom’s head snapped up and he looked at her straight in the eyes, flabbergasted. He couldn’t believe what he’d just heard.

‘She—! She was gonna what?’

Aliena giggled, humorlessly, as she took in Tommy’s expression. Her fingertips stopped her dance as she did so. Ali composed herself rather quickly ‘n she continued. “I was going to fuck him...” She shrugged her shoulders and pursed her lips as she said. “To finally get over you.”

Aliena cocked her head to the side and waited for his reaction. Tom shuffled his stance and tucked his hands into his pockets. He could feel his eyes glaze over and lust creep on him as Aliena teasingly had a single fingernail under the strap of her dress.

Aliena looked away before looking back at him. “So, there it is, Tommy. I said it. Now, you have two options. You either walk out that door, or...” Aliena attempted to look sexual as she slipped both of the straps of her dress down her shoulders ‘n let it fall to the ground.

Tom gulped at the sight of her. Her bare breasts. The sight of her in nothing but her panties.

“You fuck me.” She finished, fixing her posture.

Truthfully, she was trembling in anxiety. She hoped to God she wasn’t making a fool of herself.

Tom had to internally fight his demons and he needed to do it quickly, out of respect for her. It was a whole lot of, “should he” or “should he not.” But then, Aliena just had to trail her fingertip down her neck again with this far-off gaze and he knew his choice.

Tom rushed toward Aliena and captured her lips, hungrily. Aliena couldn’t help but gasp happily. Her mouth opening wide. Tom didn’t waste the opportunity to shove his tongue inside. He made her walk backward toward the wall. The pace caused Ali to be shoved into the wall. The pain that erupted in her back made her moan into his mouth.

Tom’s hands trailed up from her waist all the way to her breasts and he squeezed them eagerly. Almost wantonly, Ali gasped with a smile again as she arched her back into Tom’s hands.

This… This is what Tom was talking about. This passion, this feeling of completion! This was it!

Tom parted from her lips which made her pant for air. He pressed kisses on the side of her mouth, her cheek, before peppering her neck with them. Aliena’s fingers found Tommy’s hair and she found herself pressing him closer against her neck.

‘So, she feels it here...’ He thought.

Tom increased his antics. Nipping, sucking, and kissing her neck all over. While Aliena wasn’t moaning, she was panting ‘n gasping as if she couldn’t breath. Hitching as if she were in pain.

Tom left her neck and lowered himself down to her breasts. He rolled her left nipple in his mouth while still kneading her right breast. When he decided to tug on her nipple with his teeth, he tugged on her right nipple with his fingers. Aliena gasped and yanked Tom’s hair as she arched her back into him further.

“Tommy...” She rasped. “I—! Please.”

Mentally, it hurt her to plead like this. It sent her cheeks aflame, and she would’ve hid her face in embarrassment if she wasn’t feeling so much pleasure from running her fingers through his hair.

As Tom moved to her right tit, he shushed her and whispered against her skin. “Patience, love.”

Aliena’s breath hitched once more as Tom nibbled on her nipple, her thighs rubbed together. It did nothing, but allow her to get some pent up energy out of her.

Tom let go of her right nipple with one last tug before he rose up a little to begin marking up the space above her breasts. Aliena giggled at him.

“So, are you a tits man, then, Tommy?” She asked breathily, a giggle at the end of her sentence.

Tom stopped sucking on a particular spot on her chest as he began to smile. He picked his head up and pecked her lips repeatedly. “Yours. I’ve. Been. Wanting to. Do this. To yours.”

Aliena’s hands had slid down to his face and she stroked his cheek lovingly. She parted from their pecks and whispered. “Who am I to deny you, then?”

Tom stared into her eyes before hooking his hands in the crooks of her knees and carrying her. Ali yelped and wrapped her arms around his neck before going into a giggling fit. Tom walked over to his bed and plopped her down on it.

Aliena bounced as a result. Tom hurriedly back to yank his clothes off and cursed himself for wearing so many accessories. While Tom was working on taking off his shirt sleeve garters, Ali had scooted herself down the bed and worked on getting his belt off.

The whole situation was laughable, so Tom began to laugh— which made Aliena laugh. Once Tom got the bloody things off, Aliena had already thrown aside his belt and unzipped his pants. Tom bent down and tried to kiss Aliena.

She realized what he was trying to do ‘n met him halfway by standing on her knees. Grateful that she allowed him to bend less, he continued working on unfastening the buttons on his vest ‘n shirt while slipping off his shoes. He took off his shoes, stepped out of his pants, and kicked them both away while throwing his vest and button up off his shoulders.

The pair broke their kiss to let Tommy yank off his under shirt. Tom found her lips once more as he slowly climbed on top of her and hovered above her on his bed. After a minute or two more of kissing, he parted and asked against her lips. “Are you sure you want this, Aliena? We can stop right now.”

Ali stared into Tommy’s eyes. His beautiful blue eyes. She nodded her head. “I want you, Tommy. It’s always been you.”

They stared into each other’s eyes a bit longer before Tom’s head ducked down and began trailing deep kisses all the way down to her groin where the hem of her panties lied. He placed kisses along the hem as he hooked his fingers into the side of the band, and slowly slid them down.

Aliena’s eyes were closed shut and she was fisting the blankets of his bed. She flinched at every kiss he placed closer and closer to her cunt.

Tom licked a long stripe upward toward Ali’s clit as he slid her panties down her legs entirely. Ali whimpered as her hips bucked. Tom couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped his mouth. Aliena was biting her bottom lip so harshly that she was afraid it would split.

Tom spread her pussy and started off slow before working his way toward violently flicking her clit with his tongue and sucking on it. Aliena still didn’t allow her moans to escape her, instead, only letting out whimpers, gasps, and pants.

Aliena’s thighs clamped around Tom’s ears, but that didn’t stop him. Hell, it couldn’t even stop him from hearing her little mewls.

Ali felt that familiar build up growing in the pit of her stomach, and her hand flew to Tom’s hair. “Tommy, I’m close!” She said. “Stop, please. I don’t wanna... without ya...”

Tom didn’t stop, in fact, he worked her faster. “Go on.” He rasped. “Come.”

Aliena’s hands flew to her face as her face contorted in pure pleasure. Tom didn’t like that. She was blocking the view. Ali threw her head back and finally let out an audible moan. Her hips wildly bucked against Tom’s mouth and chin, and he let her ride out her climax.

He let go of her with a pop and a hiss. Tom took a deep breath, trying to catch it before sliding a finger along her opening. Aliena’s hands had fallen to the sides of her head. An uncontrollable smile on her face. She outstretched her arms and whispered, lovingly. “Tommy...”

Tom felt his heart swell and without stopping his teasing— he leaned toward her and kissed her as she wanted.

Aliena didn’t mind the taste of herself on his lips, she was used to it. Having been a chronic masturbator. Ali tugged on Tom’s bottom lip and when she finally let go, she coquettishly whispered. “Fuck me, Tommy, please. I’m ready.”

Tom’s eyes looked over her face and he chuckled. He pecked her lips before replying, “No, it’s your first time, Ali. I won’t be rough with you. This time.”

Ali’s mouth stretched upward into a smile and she bit her lip. “Promise?”

As Tom finally slipped a finger inside her— making her gasp, he rubbed his nose against hers, replying, “I promise.”

Tom slowly pumped his finger in and out of Ali, and truthfully, the girl felt nothing. She’s teased her hole with her fingers loads of times. So, it was just a foreign feeling. But for the sake of seemingly “innocent,” she began panting a little.

Tom added a second finger and then a third— and that’s when she felt something. Her pants turned real and she wondered if he had to add the third finger so that she could accommodate to his size. She still hadn’t seen him.

Meanwhile, Tom was handling his delayed satisfaction just fine. He wasn’t a teenager anymore, so he was lucky enough to just be able to focus on making this the best experience for Aliena as possible. When he felt that her pussy was sucking his fingers in, instead of trying to push them out— he removed them.

Aliena moaned and looked up at Tom. Tom misinterpreted her gaze as her being scared and was quick to reassure her that everything would be alright. In reality, Aliena was just startled that her pleasure had been taken away from her.

She never thought she’d get off on fingers. She thought it was impossible for her.

‘You really do need someone else’s fingers.’ She thought.

Tom pulled down his boxers and kicked them away. He was about to gather her wetness when Ali took his hand and pulled it toward her mouth. She gathered the saliva in her mouth and let it fall down onto his hand. His cock throbbed in his hand at the action.

He couldn’t believe that she’d be this tempting.

Tom lathered his cock in Ali’s spit and pumped his cock a few times, hissing at the pleasure he gave himself before lining up to Aliena’s entrance. Tommy hovered above her and took his free hand, and interlocked it with hers.

“You ready?” He asked once more.

Aliena nodded. “Yes, yes, please...”

Tom kissed Ali as he slowly entered her. Ailena moaned from the sensation. Tommy began littering the side of her mouth and cheek with kisses. They both groaned when he was fully sheathed inside her. Her walls fluttered around his cock, squeezing him tightly.

Made him grunt from the sensation.

Aliena wasn’t in pain, but it has certainly been awhile since a cock has been inside her. Not to mention, she was still pretty sure this body was a virgin. There was no pain, but there was a lot of pressure. She couldn’t tell if he was big or not.

Aliena just felt very “full” and “satisfied.”

“Move, Tommy.” She rasped.

Tom breathily chuckled. “I can’t. You haven’t gotten used to it, yet.”

Aliena gripped his chin and made him face her. “Tommy, move slowly. I want to feel you.”

How the fuck could he deny that?

Slowly, Tom began moving his hips. He’d pull out just enough so his tip won’t fall out and then slide all the way back in. Ali whimpered at the feeling, but after enough times— she found herself wanted more. So, she vocalized it.

“Faster, Tommy.”

Tom complied to her wishes and began thrusting faster. He found himself admiring this whole situation. Intoxicated on the feeling he’d been missing from… Yeah. It was Ali. He’d fallen in love with Ali.

Tom was taking in every reaction she had. With her legs wrapped around his waist, her breasts bouncing softly with each thrust, and her face contorted in pleasure. She couldn’t hide since their fingers were interlocked.

Tom’s breath began to waiver as pants and grunts escaped his lips. He picked up the pace to which Ali couldn’t hold back her moans anymore. This only encouraged Tom to go even faster.

“Fuck, Tommy! Yes!”

Ali was unsure of what she was feeling. She couldn’t tell if she was climbing toward her big O, or if she was getting off on pleasing him. She actually never orgasmed when using her dildo, but this was different. Sex with Tommy was different, of course it was, and that’s what threw her off.

It wasn’t till Ali began bucking her hips upward did she realize she was really feeling it. Ali admired Tom’s blissed out face. She was doing this to him, and it absolutely gave her an ego boost.

They were meeting each other’s thrust so roughly that all you could hear was skin slapping against skin along with the sloppy wet sound coming from Aliena’s pussy. It fueled them both with more lust for one another.

Aliena felt that pit in her stomach again and she cried out as did Tom since her pussy tightened around his cock. He was so close and her tightening didn’t help at all.

“Tommy, I’m clo—!”

Tom slammed his lips on hers before reaching down with one hand and began rubbing her clit. Aliena’s hips stuttered, her legs trembled, and her grip on Tommy’s hand turned iron. Tom pounded into her cunt, overwhelmed with pleasure. Aliena’s squeal as she came was muffled by Tom’s kiss. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and her back arched into his chest.

Tom wasn’t too far behind. He parted from the kiss and looked up at the ceiling as he came. Strained pants escaped him as he rode out their highs. Tom hiked Aliena’s legs up and got incredibly deeper which made Aliena giggle and sigh.

Ali was surprised at how fucking nice it felt to be came inside of, but she loved every minute of it. Ali was the one to capture Tom’s lips this time and when she parted, she asked.

“You down for a round two?”

Tommy chuckled as he rested his forehead against her own. “Why the fuck not!”

Aliena gasped as he flipped them over with her now on top. Aliena laughed breathily and steadied herself by placing both of her hands on Tom’s chest. Tom was taken back at how sexy she was above him.

TAG LIST: @amirahiddleston @nemesis729 @salvatoreitmeanssaviour @tlfshelby1 @halepea @lilymurphy03 @marsfireeyes @masumiyetimziyanoldu @i-love-superhero @thatweirddaydreamer @xxbeckybeexx-blog @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @well-hydratedpvssy @the-jess-life @babaohhhriley @7shadesofharold @melissamaine @urbankaite2

#in another world #thomas shelby #thomas shelby imagine #thomas shelby smut #thomas shelby fanfic #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby x oc #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinders imagine #thomas shelby fluff #thomas shelby angst

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chryuhwan · 3 years ago

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helloooo i’m sol (21+, they/them) and this is yuhwan. he’s an old oc revamped too many times so if he seems familiar... my b dude i’m attached i guess. anyway, i’m excited to be here! please like this post if you’re interested in plotting and i’ll hit you up. i’m not on twitter and pretty sparse on discord, so i prefer tumblr im! but if that’s difficult for you, we can figure smth out! i have a short (haha) tl;dr under the cut, but you can also read up more on his BIO and PROFILE pages.

RUNDOWN

TRIGGER & CONTENT WARNINGS: physical abuse, underage drug/alcohol consumption, (attempted) suicide (lmk if you want a redacted summary!)

BASICS — born and raised in busan up until the tender age of seventeen, when he was sent (“exiled”) to seoul to live with his aunt and uncle and attend hannam. the catalyst was a rebellious phase turned lifestyle (a lot of really reckless decisions involving drugs, alcohol, vandalism, swiping money from the tithes & offerings, u name it) and his parents deciding they a) didn’t want to deal with that and b) didn’t want that to reflect on their reputations. he’s been in seoul ever since and has never stayed in busan for longer than a couple of days.

ON RELIGION & FAITH — the only son of the head pastor of a well-known megachurch in busan, yuhwan was raised under the strict and watchful eye of his obsessive parents! he’s not religious anymore by any means, but faith (or his lack thereof) has shaped a huge part of his mentality. his lack of belief in a higher power is the foundation of his ‘if i have the confidence to own up to the potential consequences of my actions, then i’ll do whatever i want to’ mindset. he’s not going to be discouraged by a god that doesn’t exist!

ON SEOUL — hates it. yep. he hates seoul, but he doesn’t really have the drive to try to find somewhere he does like because he hates busan too. when he was sent to live with his aunt and uncle, he was treated pretty poorly (still flinches when people raise their hand at him), like a glorified punching bag. hannam wasn’t any better, and the military was nice in the way prison cells might be. he hates cramped things and the only decent jogging path he knows runs him right by the bridge he almost jumped off of after his military service ended so. you know. you win some, you lose some.

ON HANNAM — hated it. yep. straight up hated it. he was pretty good about being friendly around virtually anyone who held his attention for more than a couple of seconds, but yuhwan hates the idea of hierarchies! finds them downright stifling, and he doesn’t like the idea of being placed in a box, etc. hannam felt like an oppressive social pyramid and he thought that kinda sucked so as friendly as he was on the outside, he had zero interest in making friends and has probably only willingly kept in touch with a handful of people since graduating.

ON GOSSIPS, RUMORS, AND SECRETS — he’s a tabloid writer. once a regular editor for a small newspaper, he gave that up and decided to sacrifice his morals for a higher paycheck. he blames his mom because she, as the pastor’s wife, had a lot of access to juicy gossip and liked to tell yuhwan about it. yuhwan’s probably the least trustworthy person he knows. he’s careful to keep the secrets of people he cares about, but as it turns out, he doesn’t really care about that many people. he’s friendly, open to listening, and honestly not that bad at giving advice etc., but be on your guard. wouldn’t want your dirty laundry to be aired out for the world to see, after all.

ON THE PRESENT — he’s minding his own business. really. like i said, he’s probably kept in touch with some people, but otherwise he’s not really interested in the busy lives of almost-strangers unless they’re going to get him a bonus on his next paycheck. yuhwan very much so marches to the beat of his own drum. he doesn’t care much about the world around him and only cares when it inconveniences him. like a kite without a string, he’s floating wherever the fuck the wind’s going to take him!

ON HIS SECRET — after graduating from high school, and then university, and then finishing military service, yuhwan thought he might literally lose his fucking mind if he didn’t set himself free in one way or another. ultimately, he decides he won’t be able to coexist in peace with his parents unless they change. and because they won’t change of their own volition, he submits an anonymous tip about his father’s embezzlement of church funds. in the end, it doesn’t destroy his dad’s legacy or anything; the church is still up and running—but it’s an ordeal that takes months, years of being humbled by the weight of the world. he doesn’t feel bad about it. his mom gossips less and his dad’s less of an asshole, after all. makes family gatherings that much more bearable when they’re all tired of existing!

CONNECTIONS

BEST FRIEND — just one. no dramatic childhood friends story or anything like that. just one person he actually really genuinely sincereeeeeely liked from hannam that didn’t take any effort or slow build to figure out. probably the only person he really trusts in this big, bad city. you’ve got a huge weapon in your hands! he’s not used to putting this much trust in others. (+1000 if in a two-day relationship that ended terribly. ‘i would never date you again, but i’ll still die for u’ kinda vibes)

HANNAM FRIENDS — there won’t be many, but! anyone? anyone?? he was a friendly, easygoing person (still is, tbh) during his hannam days, but was definitely a free spirit who did whatever he wanted. if you could keep up with his pace, then he might have liked your company. he’s not a fan of overly serious people unless they have the patience of a saint! (trust me, you’ll need it.)

HANNAM... NOT FRIENDS — he’s not so conscious of his surroundings as to have enemies himself, but he definitely did get pushed around for a little while when he was first getting settled. and he’s also definitely spoken out of turn and said some rude shit (not on purpose) (he just doesn’t have a filter) here and there. want to hate his guts? please do. negative energy’s welcome in this house!

COUSIN — a similar-aged cousin, also the child of the aunt and uncle yuhwan absolutely fucking abhors. they might have a contentious relationship. might even be a positive one. either way, they lived under the same roof for a few years!

TABLOID VICTIM — got a little fame to your name? have a nasty scandal you didn’t want to get out? well, now it’s out. and sensationalized, too! maybe you know it’s him who leaked it (and wrote the article, while we’re at it). maybe you don’t!

BUSAN BUDDIES — and i use the word ‘buddies’ loosely. grow up in busan? have religious parents? religious yourself maybe? well, maybe you bumped into each other then. yuhwan had the reputation of being a prim and proper pastor’s son, amiable and cheerful and so so devoted, up until he was suddenly sent to seoul. all of his bad habits and reckless adventures were largely done behind his parents’ backs (until he got caught, at least!)—you know of them? partake in them, maybe? or maybe you didn’t know, and you’re wondering why the fuck he came to seoul in the first place

BLACKMAIL — he’s not above using underhanded tactics if they’re made available to him. sometimes he doesn’t even need a big reason. maybe he found out a secret of yours and he wants a secret you know about someone else. he’ll hold it over your head! call it a little game of cat and mouse!

#thank you for the welcomes! will get to them soon #chrintro

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snow-slayer · 2 years ago

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3, 9, 15, and 24 for the fandom asks!

3) What is the best fandom you've ever been involved in? I'm going to say the Samurai Jack fandom only because it's the only one I really interacted with at the peak (i.e. when season 5 came out). I've had a great time with the few I really interacted with, and also just all the Scaramouche content when it was coming out regularly. I'll give a close second to The Muse ARG because I'm sort of following that from the side and having such a fun time with it as it comes out.

9) What are the best things about your current fandom? Honestly, all the friends I've made and the people I talk to about Franmouche. You all know who you are and I love that this obsession has been going on for almost five years. I know Scaramouche I've been obsessed with since March 2017. Pretty sure Franmouche hit my radar back in September 2017, give or take.

15) Is there an obscure ship which you love? Sorry that this is purely a Samurai Jack post XD For starters, there's Franmouche - the French Robot and Scaramouche the Merciless from Samurai Jack. It's my niche ship from a niche show. I think about them all the time a lot. What's the new thing? Yes, I think about them a normal amount... I'm also breaking my heart with Gal x Jared. Gal an OC created by @gravity-what and is Scaramouche's youngest brother. Jared is one of my OCs that was supposed to be a throwaway character for a one shot and well... @nothing-of-a-builder can tell you my track record with those. They're either going to be 20 pages or turn into a chapter story XD Here's the story if anyone is interested

24) What fic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit? Hands down, it's "Never Better." My writing has improved so much since I wrote it and I love the plot. Just needs a revamp via rewrite. There's probably a few old Mr. Freeze stories I have hanging around that could stand for one, but all I care about writing wise is Samurai Jack. I've barely read or written anything else!

Thanks for asking!

#asks are always welcome

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mayonnaisetoffees · 3 years ago

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Mayo's Fic Recs

List of my favourite fics below the cut; this list is a WIP and completely personal taste; a mix of fandom classics and lesser knowns

Please remember to leave comments and kudos for the authors and podficcers!

*shows particular favourites

Fandoms currently included: Spn, Merlin, Les Mis, BatFam

Fics That Changed Me Fundamentally

Loaded March*** by Footloose. Merlin | E | 1.26M(Series)/ 35k (First part) | 188k hits (First part)

The reason SAS Captain Arthur Pendragon can’t keep a communications specialist in Team Excalibur because none of them are good enough. And then Lieutenant Merlin Emrys gets assigned to his squad, and Arthur does everything he can to prove that Merlin isn’t good enough, either. Except he is.

You can read all about my thoughts on Loaded March here, here, and here. Basically this fic series is beautifully written, has absolutely delicious UST, has found family, magic, and high stakes. It’s been part of my life for almost a decade now, I made friends through LM that I still have to this day, and it genuinely changed me as a person. Plus there are 78k of Extras to itch that I Finished Now What scratch. Parts 1-5 have been podficced and you can find them in works inspired by this one in each part.

Down to Agincourt*** by Seperis. Supernatural | E | 1.12M(Series)/ 154k (First part) | 73k hits (First part)

The world’s already over and they’re already dead. All they’re doing now is marking time until the end.

S7!Dean is transported back to the aftermath of where 5x04 The End left off. Much like LM, DtA was one that I avoided for a while. I didn’t think it would be my thing. I’m not usually into End!verse, it sounded so bleak from the summary, and it sounded so long for something I wasn’t sure about. If you’re reading this and nodding along? You are as much a fool as I was. Yes, it’s the end of the world. But it’s not over yet. This is a beautiful journey in what it means to be yourself, how to survive the end of the world, a How-To for Coups, and a study in food as a love language. I only read this fic this year, but like LM, it has genuinely changed me. Map of the World has been podficced.

Supernatural

Let’s start with the current hyperfixation. All of these are at least passively Dean/Cas unless otherwise stated. I've split into ones from my first time around in the SPN fandom and more recent ones because the vibes are actually really different and it took me some time to adjust (Not in a bad way! In a time has passed they have grown as characters way)

Old-School SPN (AKA the Classics my first time around)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Home in Motion* by nomdeplume13 M | 232k | 48k hits

Castiel swore he was done with spur of the moment decisions that permanently changed Dean Winchester's life. A year after the angel's most disastrous, his newest may present the largest challenge of dean's life: Fatherhood.

Did someone say kid!fic in canonverse? This is perfect. Canon divergence from the end of S6. Cas saves a baby from a neglectful mother and gives him to Dean to raise. They all move in with Bobby. Great OCs. Bobby considers Cas his son. Listen everything I say here will not be able to begin to encompass how much I love this fic. Just trust me on this one.

Named* by RC_McLachlan M | 95k | 95k hits

Jesus Christ is dead. Somehow, that isn't the worst part of Dean's week.

With a summary like that, need I say more? No but I'm gonna. This is one of the funniest fics I've ever read, but it doesn't take any emotion from the serious moments, if anything it heightens them. There are so many quotes from this I think about all the time. It was written in 2010 and so there's a bit of misogyny/character assassination of Anna in places.

Second Childhood by CloudyJenn (read by exmanhater) G | 16k (1h30) | 10k hits

"Dude, I can't do this whole thing by myself," Dean said with far more desperation leaking into his tone than he liked. It would just be too much to make it through hell and death and Lucifer only to have Castiel bail on him because of a frigging baby.

They beat the Apocalypse (OG-S5) and then Sam gets de-aged by a spell. I've listened to this so many times I know it by heart, it's an ultimate comfort fic to me.

Defy Any and All Expectation* by Tenoko1 (read by Tenoko1) M | 138k (14hrs) | 37k hits

Chuck's newly released books tell of another war between Heaven and Hell. Team Free Will sets out to try to defy prophecy, only to realize there is a lot more at stake and amiss than the not-quite-accurate words of one Prophet of the Lord. Along the way, Dean and Cas' relationship continues to evolve into something neither expected or were prepared for, all of their lives transforming in ways no one could have expected. But with no shortage of cases, monsters, and mayhem, it's going to require the help of new friends and old enemies if they're to have a hope of saving the world one more time. Alternate Season Six.

So this is a re-written version of Tenoko1's The Path We Choose which I don't think is around anymore. By the time I was reading the re-write as each chapter came out, I knew every single line of TPWC and it wasn't all that much shorter. It's such a perfect canon divergence because they are all 100% in-character. If you're into podfic, you already know what an absolute gift 14 hours is, but if you have never tried podfic before, Tenoko1 is a fantastic place to start. Her voice is soothing and energetic and her Cas sometimes comes to mind when I'm reading fic in Misha's place (sorry Misha)

His Fucking Kids 'Verse by 8sword M | 96k(Series)/ 3k (first part) | 26k hits (first part)

Jesus, the school should just have a parking spot labeled, “Reserved for the Novak-Winchesters,” because Dean’s getting sick of having to cruise around the parking lot looking for a spot every time he gets a call from the principal about Emma.

Emma survives and Dean and Cas are raising her and Claire. This fic series will make you laugh, make you cry, and (nowadays) make you wish Emma had survived to be a part of Wayward Sisters.

One Species Too Many by wallmakerrelict E | 22k | 37k hits

While Dean is laid up for a month after breaking his leg on a hunt, Cas decides that it's a perfect time to adopt a litter of kittens. But even though he's gotten better since Purgatory, Cas still isn't quite the same as he was before fixing Sam's head, and being trapped in a cabin with him for weeks on end is making that all the more obvious to Dean. When Sam takes off on a hunt, Dean has to figure out on his own how to navigate his new relationship with Cas while also helping to raise a bunch of fuzzballs that aren't even cute. Not even a little bit. (Well, maybe a little bit.)

Dean breaks his legs, and honey!Cas brings home some kittens to foster. It's achingly sweet and also painful because you know Dean wants to fix Cas but there's nothing to fix. It is tagged for ableism for this.

Tripping* by Hatteress E | 49k | 78k hits

That time the universe decided Dean belonged with Cas and wasn't afraid to pull out the big guns to make it so. Big guns in this case being obsessive fangirls, archangels turned tricksters and overly enthusiastic cupids. Welcome to Dean's life.

Alt!S5 and it is beautiful. Also any fic with Missouri is an automatic win.

Broadway Musical by Grifitings M | 12k | 79k hits

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle. The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at. Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

Jimmy deserves a sainthood and frankly I don't even want to hear about crack if it's not on the level of the Host yelling at Cas not to touch the butt.

Classic AUs (AKA AUs from my first time around)

Try Something Tuesday by almaasi E | 48k | 144k hits

Dean Winchester teaches a third-grade class. He's new to this whole ‘bisexual’ thing - but by pure happenstance, he meets Castiel: a particularly dapper male librarian who moonlights as a substitute teacher. Dean's curious and Castiel is willing, so why the hell not? Except, fate never intended it to be one-time-only...

This was one of the first spn fics to really really stay with me and it never really left.

Rock 'n' Roll Queer Bar by ChasingRabbits E | 127k(Series)/ 8k (Part1) | 29k hits (Part1)

Ellen and Jo Harvelle run Harvelle's Roadhouse, a bar that unintentionally becomes a beacon for wayward queer souls. Her employees: Dean, the smartass runaway with a big heart and bigger mouth; Castiel, the college drop-out turned hippie; his (surprisingly heterosexual) trouble-making brother Gabriel; and Charlie, who has been told several times that the back room is not to be used for after-hours Dungeons & Dragons games. But there's a lot of love in this place, and a new family for anyone who may otherwise be without.

This series. If you've ever felt unsure or out of place or anxious or just really felt like no-one understood you, this fic is for you. I first found this series when I was coming to terms with my queerness and I genuinely think it was invaluable. Also I am a sucker for the go for a dinner at Cas's family and end up storming out trope.

Play It All Night Long by janie_tangerine (read by Tenoko1) NC17 | 43k (4hrs)

The rom-com-ish one where Dean hosts a late night radio show, Castiel is a regular listener of his who starts calling one day and ends up calling more often than not and Dean finds himself liking it. This, until one day Castiel calls for not exactly petty reasons (just before Dean's brother Sam is visiting with his girlfriend for spring break) and things get very, very crowdy at his place. He also doesn't know it's just the beginning of it. Also features Gabriel, Chuck, Andy, the Roadhouse crew and a huge amount of music quoted. Especially Bob Dylan.

Again, this podfic has got me through many a night of insomnia. Cas calls in after a particularly shitty day and it all goes from there.

New-School SPN (AKA post-2014)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Tall Grass by aeli_kindara E | 57k | 28k hits

“I think we should have a garden,” Cas says. Dean looks up from his beer. He hasn’t had that much to drink, but Cas still has a vague look of unreality about him, a splash of living color that doesn’t fit in the bunker’s echoing stillness. Dean didn’t hear him coming. A lot of the time, Cas is so unobtrusive it feels like Dean has the bunker to himself, with Sam away. Dean shakes his head to clear it. “A — garden?” he repeats.

There is a reason you will see this recced time and time again. It healed parts of me I didn't know needed healing.

So Says the Sword* by komodobits E | 85k | 73k hits

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’ Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected

I saw ssts mentioned in like every single If you're getting back into the fandom READ THIS rec list. For good reason. It's described as "canon-adjacent in that seasons one to three happened exactly the same, but when Dean goes to Hell, he is not raised by Castiel". It's one of the most interesting concepts I've read and it's one of those fics where the writing style will stick with you. Castiel POV in a way you've never read before.

Aching in the Absence of You* by sobsicles E | 95k | 9k hits (in 5 days)

Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back. He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales. "Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time. By nightfall, Cas is gone.

If you don't already know sobsicles, I am delighted to introduce you to the person who will smash you to pieces with a hammer to put you back together Kintsugi-style. This one is post-finale but without 15x18 (it'll make sense as it goes). Cas says he's going to leave again and again Dean doesn't ask him to stay. Full of lines so beautiful they'd make Shakespeare weep, Sobsicles has this way of writing that is so evocative and paints such a clear picture. Fair warning, if you're Dean-coded, this might be A Lot.

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination)** by sobsicles E | 108k | 25k hits

Freedom is just one adjustment after the next. ~~~ Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want." "What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before." "Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out." "Easier said than done."

Yes, two sobsicles recs back to back. This one I read first and it still holds such a special place in my heart. A sign of a good fic is being able to picture it perfectly. The sign of an amazing fic is that when reading this I was so in Dean's shoes I could feel a pool cue between my hands and Baby behind my back. And I sobbed like a baby in this. It has probably my favourite ending ever. It's genuinely beautiful. If you don't read another on this list, read this one.

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara M | 52k | 14k hits

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean. (A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

The ultimate Cas character study and interwoven with poetry.

So There It Is, I've Said It All by PorcupineGirl (read by Ceewelsh) G | 4k | 13k hits

"Why, do you have something you need to say to me that you don't think I'll like?" I think I'm in love with you. "Yeah. I guess so."

Dean figures out he's in love with Cas then can't stop thinking it. This is genuinely beautiful and if you've ever had trouble actually saying the thing you're thinking, you'll relate to Dean here. I recently did the podfic for this.

you won't find this place alone by amidsizedfrog G | 9.5k |

When Claire said she was dropping out of college to pursue hunting full time, Dean said, “right,” and left the room. Or, the cross-generation conversation about formal education, choosing your own path and figuring out what it looks like to find a family. Or, in other words: "But what I do have is a GED and a give-'em-hell-attitude, and I'll figure it out." - Dean Winchester

This is a beautiful look at education in the hunter world, and I love anything that looks at Dean and Bobby's relationship and this does it perfectly. Also best cameo ever.

Seek to Know You Better by ahurston E | 33k | 23k hits

Dean and Cas, a long stretch of highway, and 36 questions empirically designed to make two people fall in love. As if they weren't already.

This is perfect. It has a lovely slow pace like it has the vibes of an indie film if that makes sense? Like it's two guys going from place to place talking. It was an instant favourite.

Newer AUs (AKA more recent AUs)

And This, Your Living Kiss* by opal_bullets M | 57k | 69k hits

Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen.

When I asked which fics were absolute must-reads for someone who'd been out of the fandom a few years, this was said repeatedly. But what really got me to read it was everyone actually told me more about what it meant to them than just the summary. It's a study in poetry, a study in learning who you are and who you used to be, and a reminder that it's never too late.

The Graveyard Shift* by riseofthefallenone, PurgatoryJar E | 620k | 175k hits

Dean’s favourite coffee shop, The Graveyard Shift, is only open after the sun goes down. Which is perfect for him, because that’s exactly when he craves coffee the most while doing the overnight at the fire hall. The coffee shop’s owner is pretty perfect too, but it’s kind of a bummer that Dean never gets to see Cas during the day. In a world where the supernatural live more or less in peace with the rest of humanity, it’s a little impolite to ask Cas just what he really is - or what his dark past entails.

A fantastic magical realism fic - magical creatures live and work with humans. Gabe and Cas run a coffee shop, Dean is a fireman, and the burn is slow and delicious and the intrigue kept me reading for like a week every single spare minute.

Painted Angels by WinJennster E | 106k | 162k hits

Author Castiel Novak has finally hit the big time, with a book based on his failed college relationship with a brilliant painter. He's put all his pain behind him, but at a book signing, he comes face to face with Dean Winchester for the first time in twelve years, and the reunion doesn't go like Cas hoped. Dean's a broken man, with a lot of scars and secrets, shoulders weighed down by his demons and self loathing. Cas sees a second chance with the man he's never stopped loving, but Dean's moved on, and is about to get married. Sam launches a "brilliant" plan to reunite his brother and his best friend, but Cas is worried it will all blow up in their faces, and he'll go through the agony of losing Dean a second time.

The first part of this I actually saved back when I was first in the fandom but I never got around to reading it (I had a To Read folder of 100+ fics that I absolutely dove into when I got back into spn) and the rest of the series finished in 2016 so I'm counting it in this section not the other. On the one hand, I wish I'd read this when it first came out. It's beautiful and heartbreaking, and so visual. On the other hand, I think I appreciated it a lot more now than I would have seven years ago. The parallel of me coming back to the old fandom that I loved dearly with Cas coming back to see someone and places he loved so much really hit. (Although coming back to the spn fandom was much easier and much less heartbreak!)

Finale Fix-Its (yeah fuck you Dabb that this has to be a whole category)

The Goldenrod Revisions by aethylas M | 66k | 15k hits

A rewrite of Supernatural’s final two episodes, expanded into a five episode arc - in which Chuck needs to be defeated, Castiel deserves to be saved, and the characters in this story get a very different ending.

Script format re-write of 15x19 and 15x20 into a 5-episode finale fix-it. As far as I'm concerned, this and chocolatecakecas's American Pie fanvid are the Supernatural finale.

break the skin (to break the barriers)* by sobsicles M | 30k | 9k hits

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment. ~~~ Dean is silent for a long, tense moment, then he gruffly says, "It's not for banishing the angels. It's to summon them. So, it doesn't—it's not to get rid of 'em, but to draw 'em in." Mitzi can't help but glance up at him at that. His voice is so heavy with so much unexplained pain, and she doesn't understand why, or what angels have to do with it. She knows religion can impact people. She's very aware that it can get complicated, and that it can be a huge source of pain for someone, but Dean sounds grievously wronged, somehow, as if it's a truly personal thing. She pushes through, focusing back on her job, clearing her throat before murmuring, "Well, I guess we all want angels to visit us sometimes." "Just the one," Dean mumbles. "Your guardian angel?" Mitzi asks. Dean breathes out, "Something like that. As close to one as an angel will ever get."

Therapy through getting tattoos and telling your life story to someone who obviously doesn't think it's real. Outsider!POV not just done well, but done literally the best.

Kingdom Come by ahurston E | 17k | 10k hits

Cas wakes up on the coast of Maine. He makes his way home.

I don't know if this counts as finale fix-it as it's more fuck the finale we're ignoring that. There's just so much love and care in this fic.

The Family Business by chai_lattes M | 16k | 5.5k hits

It's all over. It's been weeks since Chuck's defeat and Cas' return from the Empty. There are no threats on the horizon, no apocalypses to stop, but there's something that keeps the Winchesters from being happy. Something that's maybe always been there. On their way back from a hunt, they find John Winchester, back from the dead.

If you're anything like me, you start rubbing your grubby little hands together at the tag John Winchester's A+ Parenting like yes let's address this! This is one of the best examples of John coming back and how it jars with the life that they have built. Also Claire and Jack getting to share screentime!

Merlin

If I have a forever fandom, it's Merlin. I've always kept one foot in this fandom, and it introduced me to fandom, and most importantly to podfic which kinda had an impact. All Merthur unless stated.

Canon-Verse

Seven Magpies by syllic (read by lunchee) E | 33k (3hr15) | 58k hits

Arthur opened his eyes a minute later to the sight of seven magpies streaking across the top of the clearing, their shapes dark against the white clouds and the muted grey of the sky. He tried to remember what it was that seven magpies meant—he'd had a nurse who had sung the rhyme to him as a child—but couldn't. Arthur wakes up somewhere he doesn't recognise, but where he clearly belongs.

Okay so this is an AU but it's Canon-AU so it's going here. Fantastic role reversal fic that you will be thinking about for weeks.

and from your grace, i fell by TheDragon (read by Ceewelsh) T | 4.6k (41mins) | 13k hits

“Where’s Merlin?” he asks the maid. “Where’s that idiot of a Court Sorcerer?!” “Begging your pardon, Your Majesty. I thought you knew,” the maid replies, not daring to look him in the eyes. “He’s taken ill.” “And he couldn’t be bothered to tell me himself that he would be unable to attend today’s council meeting?” Arthur questions, voice full of acid. “He hasn’t woken since he collapsed two days ago, Sire,” the maidservant says, blissfully unaware that what she’s saying the power to stop Arthur’s heart in its tracks.

When I first read this, it had me completely transfixed. I could not stop reading. It was so raw and so full of emotion. I was then lucky enough to get TheDragon in our exchange, so I did a podfic for it and it's probably the most proud I've been of one.

Modern AU

The Student Prince* by FayJay (read by FayJay) M | 145k (15hrs) | 696k hits

A Modern day Merlin AU set at the University of St Andrews, featuring teetotal kickboxers, secret wizards, magnificent bodyguards of various genders, irate fairies, imprisoned dragons, crumbling gothic architecture, arrogant princes, adorable engineering students, stolen gold, magical doorways, attempted assassination, drunken students, shaving foam fights, embarrassing mornings after, The Hammer Dance, duty, responsibility, friendship and true love...

A classic is a classic for a reason. I'm also pretty sure this introduced me to podfics so like special place in my heart x2. Did you know if you filter AO3 by hits on Merlin, this has 426k more hits than the second result? Now that is a Fandom Classic.

Drastically Redefining Protocol* by rageprufrock (read by lunchee) E | 46k (5hr30) | 269k hits

In which Prince Arthur meets Merlin and all hell promptly breaks loose.

As I always say, if this can happen to me and I still love the fic, nothing is going to change that. Arthur hides from his duties in a cupboard and gets stuck in there with a chainsmoking med student.

Fundamental Imperfections by Starlingthefool (read by bravenclawsome) M | 12k (1hr35) | 123k hits

In which an argument about Dickens leads to a Twitter scandal, broken bones, midnight conversations, and transatlantic longing. (Or, an AU with Arthur and Merlin as moderately famous authors.)

This fic has everything: Charles Dickens, long distance texting, Morgana choking a Sherlock cosplayer with his own scarf. This is the ultimate comfort fic and I compare all fics to this even when they're incomparable. I never read the sequel because it was WIP and I was waiting for it to complete, it hasn't been updated since 2015 and apparently ends on an unhappy note, so if you're going to read the sequel you have been warned.

Les Mis

Modern!AU

Overzealous Oddities by YassHomo e/R, Courf/Cosette/Marius, Comb/Ép | G | 6.4k | 4k hits

Courfeyrac: Remember when I smashed our tv and we laughed about it? Enjolras: No. Courfeyrac: Let me rephrase Courfeyrac: I've smashed our tv, lets laugh about it.

I love me a text fic and this is in my opinion the best one around. Just look at that summary. I have quoted that so many times.

But Paris was a very old city and we were young* by GingerNinjaAbi E/R, Courf/Jehan | M | 99k | 42k hits

Perhaps somewhere in between all the cups of coffee, shots of tequila, sunny March days, terrible lumpy jumpers, love, cigarettes, drunken nights and the desire to change the world they'll all leave Paris with a degree in something. Or not. Grantaire's money is on no. But he's a pessimist who's hopelessly in love, so perhaps his opinion shouldn't count.

The ULTIMATE modern!AU tbh.

Tagged by Salomonderiel E/R, Courf/Jehan | E | 155k | 28k hits

So there's this artist. He could probably be compared to Banksy, but he's a lot more... cynical. He shares rooms with a poet who braids his hair with flowers, in a flat near Covent Garden they rent from a short-tempered shop keeper with a penchant for fans and who'd do anything if you mentioned Poland. Sometimes, the three of them will go and deface public buildings in London whilst completely smashed off their heads. And then there's this, shall we say, 'revolutionary'. He has a band of other revolutionaries, who all meet at this cafe by Borough Market. He shares rooms with his best mate, a philosophy student, spends too much time with a flirty guy who has a thing for poets, goes boxing with a guy in a red vest, wants to punch the wet sop who drools on the blonde waitress and is getting tired of this guy who keep breaking his laptops through sheer dumb luck. Thank god the hypochondriac's there to keep an (slightly too) attentive eye on their stress levels. The revolutionary thinks the graffiti artist's work is a waste of space. The artist thinks the revolutionary's campaigns are a waste of time. And all the while, the poet and the flirt drool over each other in the background...

This is perfect and it's funny and it's beautiful and it rips my heart out multiple times.

Canon

To Be Free by kjack89 (read by Ceewelsh) Gen, Cosette/Marius | T | 3.8k (32mins) | 375 hits

Three blows from a bayonet had transfixed Combeferre’s breast, followed by a fall from the barricade as he rapidly lost first blood and then consciousness. But neither of these, it seemed, was enough to kill him, as much as later he might perhaps wish that they were.

I read this because it was on a list kjack89 did of their favourite fics which don't necessarily have the same hits traffic. It's nothing I would have usually read (canon era, not e/R, MCD) but I am so glad I gave it a go. It's a study on what if Combeferre had survived the barricades too and the guilt. This stayed with me for days afterwards until I eventually messaged kjack89 to get permission to podfic it.

BatFam

Canonish (I don't know differences between canons but these are all they're superheros fics)

Robins United by laceymcbain (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | T | 49k (6h15)/ 19k (2h25) (First part) | 103k hits

Bullets, knives, a three story fall, even a fucking crowbar hadn't managed to keep Jason down permanently, but Dick Grayson (and the rest of his "family") was going to kill him with kindness.

The ultimate batbros series. Also if you haven't heard reena_jenkins' podfics before, you are welcome. Pre-pandemic I took a lot of public transport and reena_jenkins kept me sane.

batcoons by drakefeathers (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | G | 6k (49mins) | 14k hits

Jason and raccoons have a lot in common. (Additionally: his so-called family are much bigger pests than the stray animals hanging around his safehouse.)

This is funny, it's heartwarming, and it's a really good character study.

Here Comes the Sun by batsy_rocks Clark/Bruce | T | 19k | 20k hits

Clark Kent is a kind-hearted reporter working in the big city. Bruce Wayne is a stressed dad of four with no idea of what he's doing. Then they meet.

Bruce Wayne is a Tired Single Dad™. It's genuinely such a sweet fic.

#fic rec #spn fic rec #merlin fic rec #les mis fic rec

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dream-a-little-bigger-x · 3 years ago

Text

Paralles | Chapter 10

Add yourself to my taglist! | Here’s my masterlist! | Parallels Masterlist

Characters: OC! Violet Grace Dawson, Luke Patterson, Julie Molina, Carrie Wilson, Bobby Wilson, Reggie Peters, Alex Mercer, Flynn nolastname, Willie nolastname, Nick Danforth-Evans, Dirty Candy

Guideline: Sunset Universe is the universe in which Sunset Curve is famous and Violet is friends with Carrie, Julie and Flynn. Candy Universe is the universe in which Dirty Candy is more famous and Sunset Curve has broken up.

Song(s) used: Boy Bye - Emma Bale

Warnings: I wrote this after watching Ginny and Georgia, so.... I added Marcus Baker as a character don’t @ me. Minor anxiety.

Words: 4,231

The second Violet woke up the day after her date with Luke, her phone started ringing. Glancing down at the screen, Carrie’s picture smiled back at her. Violet chuckled, not surprised that the girl was FaceTiming her at this moment and immediately picked up.

Before Violet could even greet her best friend, the blonde girl attacked her with the important question. “How was it? Tell me everything!”

Violet chuckled as she sat down on her bed with the phone angled in front of her. “It was so amazing! He took me to this fancy Italian restaurant called “Figurati Italia”, which I’m pretty sure means “Imagine Italy”.” She sounded dreamy and resembled a lovesick puppy. It scared Carrie a little as the girl droned on and on about how chivalrous and amazing Luke had been on the date.

“He did say something about a blind date you guys had set us up on…” Violet continued after minutes of dream-talk about the date. “What’s that about?”

Carrie swallowed harshly. Being reminded of that mistake made the guilt well up in her stomach. “That was – uhm…” She searched her brain for the right words. “Violet – other Violet – was so in love with Luke and the boys knew Luke had a minor crush on Violet too, or at least they thought he did. So, we set them up on a date, before the whole Sunset Curve thing blew up. When they realized what we had done, Luke kinda laughed in her face and told her he’d never date her…”

Violet’s jaw dropped. “What an asshole!” she snarled. “And you let me go out with him?!”

“I’m sorry, Vi! But this is different, this is – this is to get you back!”

Violet chuckled, her second of anger switching out into worry. “And what if that’s not how we get me back?”

“Then we’re just gonna have to find another way and in the meanwhile, get you used to this universe?” Carrie suggested. Her stomach felt weird in that moment, like a bad omen, a foreboding that something terrible was going to happen.

The brunette girl nodded her head slowly, trying to wrap her mind around the idea of being here. Forever. She wasn’t the Violet that used to live here. She was nothing like her. Or at least, she didn’t think she was, judging from the stories she’d heard. People would notice, at some point that she wasn’t who they knew her to be. There had to be a way to mislead them. To learn to be the Violet they knew.

“Do you know if Violet had some sort of diary? Just so I can get a sense of what she was like, how her brain worked and stuff?”

Carrie pondered over it for a moment. “She did have this songbook she used to write her songs and thoughts into? I believe she hid it in her nightstand.”

Violet immediately dove towards the white nightstand and opened the first drawer, finding a bright blue fake leather notebook with ‘VGD’ embossed in gold on the front.

“I found it…”

Curiosity rose within both girls. Carrie had never been allowed to look into that unless it was a song Violet was willing to share. Though she knew there was more in there than she was allowed to see. Violet’s biggest secrets, her deepest thoughts. They were all stored in there and now, the girls were granted a free pass into Violet’s mind.

“What’s in it?” Carrie asked.

“Songs, mostly,” Violet replied as she browsed through the notebook. She halted at a song titled ‘Homesick’ and as her eyes scanned the lyrics, she could feel every single feeling her parallel self was feeling in that moment. Her eyes halted at the date that was scribbled at the very top of the page. “Care… Around what time did you set her up with Luke on that blind date?”

“Uhm…” Carrie hummed as she pondered about the question. “I’d say around March 2018 or something.”

Violet’s heart dropped. “Huh…”

“What?” Carrie asked.

“I think Violet may have written a song about him,” she mumbled, but Carrie heard her, loud and clear. “It’s kinda heartbreaking…” Her fingers traced over the stains of run-out ink. Violet had been crying while writing this song. “Luke’s an asshole…”

“That’s no news,” Carrie scoffed.

Violet stared at the paper while the gears in her brain started doing their work. “He needs to pay for what he did… He needs to pay for breaking that poor girl’s heart.”

“And how are you gonna do that? He’s so self-absorbed and obsessed with his fame, he won’t even notice you’re trying to make him pay for what he did…” Carrie reasoned, but to no avail. Violet was already plotting the perfect scheme in her mind.

“Vivi,” her mother walking into her room made her snap out of her train of thought. “Can you go to the store for me, please? I forgot the feta cheese for dinner tonight.”

Violet rolled her eyes at her mother. “Of course, ma, I’ll go in a minute.”

“Don’t call me ‘ma’,” her mother frowned. “And get outta bed, it’s past noon!”

The girl managed a smile. “Sorry, mom. I’ll go in a minute.”

Her mother shot her a smile before turning on her heel and leaving her daughter’s bedroom, letting Violet and Carrie to their conversation.

“I hear there’s a super cute new bag boy in the store around the corner,” Carrie informed with a smirk. “Total cool guy. Guitarist and has a motorcycle.”

“Huh,” Violet hummed as the gears in her brain started working yet again. “I do have a thing for guitarists, don’t I?”

“That you do,” Carrie agreed.

Violet chuckled before saying goodbye to Carrie and getting off her bed. After throwing on some fresh clothes and doing her makeup, Violet left the house for the store with the scheme unfolding in her brain. The new bag boy would be the perfect pawn in her plan.

Though, when she entered the store and laid her eyes on the new bag boy, she didn’t expect him to be this gorgeous. His sharp jawline and high cheekbones, along with the perfect swoopy brown hair was enough for her heart to nearly burst out of her chest.

“Fuck,” she muttered and made her way towards the cheese aisle. With her mind set on the pretty bag boy, she searched the shelves for the feta cheese and once she had found it, she reached for it. Being in such a rush, however, caused her to take the packet behind it with her, causing it to fall to the floor. “God dammit, stupid cheese,” she groaned to herself as she bend down to pick it up.

A hand bumped with hers as she reached for it, and, when she looked up, she stared straight into Pretty Boy’s light brown eyes. Violet swore they stared right through her soul, baring every little piece of her.

“What’s the cheese done to you?” he asked, chuckling as the two of them got up again, both holding the cheese.

She regathered herself from the impact the boy had on her ovaries and flicked a strand of hair out of her face. “It did what I want you to do.” She confidently said, her lips slightly parting as it had always been one of the many tricks she had up her sleeve.

Pretty Boy’s eyes skidded from the left to the right, trying to figure out what she meant.

Smirking, Violet wrapped her hand tighter around the cheese and, as he was still holding it, pulled it closer towards her, pulling him along until his face was inches away from hers. “Fall for me,” she whispered before letting go and pushing past him.

“You got plans tonight?” he shouted after her.

Violet smirked and turned around, glad her plan was working. “Yep, I’ll be at Red and Blue tonight,” she told him, hoping he’d get the hint. Judging by the smirk that lifted his plump lips, Violet knew she was winning.

“I’ll see you there then.”

And the boy managed to keep his word. That night, when Violet was at Red and Blue with Julie, Flynn and Carrie, the Pretty Boy showed up too. Her breath hitched in her throat as she noticed him approach her.

“You didn’t,” Carrie gasped in Violet’s ear.

“I did.” She smiled at the boy. “Hey,” she greeted when he was close enough.

“Fancy seeing you here,” he teased as he reached for her hand and kissed the back of it like a true gentleman. “I never got your name.”

She went on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his ear. “Violet Dawson,” she introduced herself over the loud music.

“Marcus. Marcus Baker.” The two of them smiled at one another, causing Violet’s world to stop spinning for just a moment. “Wanna dance closer to the DJ? The atmosphere’s always better there.” Violet bit down on her lower lip as she nodded her head in response. Marcus then led her through the sea of dancing people, holding on tight to her hand.

As the two danced together to the music, Violet noticed Luke walking into the club with his bandmates closeby. His eyes skidded across the crowd and halted when they met Violet’s. He hadn’t even noticed who she was dancing with until he had approached them.

“Hey,” he said, “Who’s this?”

“Marcus,” Pretty Boy introduced himself with a smile as he reached his hand out for Luke to shake, which the rockstar completely ignored. “Okay…”

“You wanna get out of here?” Luke asked Violet, cocking his head towards the door.

Violet’s eyebrows knitted together, “I’m actually having fun, Luke. I’d rather stay.” She looked up at Marcus, shooting him a quick, apologetic smile. “But you can go if you’re not having fun.”

“Oh, uhm… No, I’m staying. You want something to drink?” he asked instead, and Violet could tell he was getting a little nervous.

“Sure. You want something, Marcus?”

Marcus hummed and grabbed Violet’s hand again before guiding her towards the bar, leaving Luke to trail behind them.

“When were you gonna tell me you had a boyfriend?” Marcus asked, his lips pressed to her ear to make sure only she would hear.

Violet chuckled. “Oh, he’s not my boyfriend. We went on like one date and I think he’s desperate for another, but I’m not really that interested.”

“Ah,” said Marcus, nodding his head. “You need me to make sure he knows that?”

Violet smirked. “No, I’ve got another idea for that.” She said and confidently made her way to the stage. Marcus watched as she walked, his lips turned up into a smirk.

She grabbed the microphone on the stand and cleared her throat before nodding at the band, telling them to start playing the song. While the upbeat, bass-driven music chimed through the venue, the girl started swaying her hips before starting to sing with her eyes focused on Luke.

“You thought I'd worry That I've made the wrong decision But I'm moving on way faster than I thought I think I've grown out Your destructive efforts Still you're holding on to all the things we loved”

A soft, yet distinctive guitar riff chimed in at the pre-chorus and when she looked up, she found Marcus next to her with a guitar in his hands and a smile on his face.

“You want me to come back Like I want you anytime Now I'm here with somebody Now it's the sad boy you play out And again I'm falling Yet again that's no surprise Thought I left it behind”

Having Marcus there gave her the confidence to really go for it on the chorus. She started moving her hips to the music while singing the lyrics to Luke, who stood near the bar, watching her and Marcus like a hawk.

“But I don't want this You think I want you back But I'm so over this Boy bye And I'm not homesick You think I want you back But I'm so over this For now?”

The music went back to its bass-driven core and while Violet focused on Luke at the back of the club, Marcus couldn’t keep his eyes off of Violet as she sang. From the moment they had met, he had found her interesting. She was this overly confident, attractive woman and it intrigued him. He wanted to know what she was compensating for.

“Friends keep asking why we're not together So I guess you haven't told 'em what you did Oh You may be sorry It's not better late than never And I think this time I'm glad we called it quits”

As even Marcus grew more confident on the guitar, Violet made her way over to him and leaned on his shoulder. This action made him look up. Neither of them could hide the smile crawling to their lips as their eyes locked.

“You want me to come back Like I want you anytime Now I'm here with somebody Now it's the sad boy you play out And again I'm falling Yet again that's no surprise Thought I left it behind”

She stepped away from Marcus again and for a few seconds, kept eye contact with him until she got lost in the music and let herself go during the chorus.

“But I don't want this You think I want you back But I'm so over this Boy bye And I'm not homesick You think I want you back But I'm so over this For now?”

Her eyes landed on Luke again to see his reaction on her performance. She didn’t like what she saw though. He looked at her in the same way he had during their dinner. The literal embodiment of the heart eyes emoji. It frustrated her, but it didn’t distract her from the song.

“But we gotta stop the playing round The playing round For Gods sake Oh we gotta quit the playing round It's more than we can take Oh we gotta stop this playing round The playing round For Gods sake Oh we gotta stop the playing round It's more than we can take”

“But I don't want this You think I want you back But I'm so over this Boy bye And I'm not homesick You think I want you back But I'm so over this For now?”

Marcus took Violet’s glance his way as a sign to really go at it on the guitar and show off a little. It did seem to impress her as she turned towards him, giving him that same smirk she did in the store.

“But I’m so over this Boy bye And I'm not homesick You think I want you back But I'm so over this Boy bye Boy bye”

She let out a very last hum as the band stopped playing, Marcus included. The crowd then burst out into applause and even the guitar boy next to her clapped for her. Her cheeks heated up whilst she locked eyes with him.

“I didn’t know you could sing,” Marcus said, placing the guitar back where he found it.

Violet shrugged. “Didn’t know you played guitar.” That was a lie, Carrie did tell her that, but it was the right thing to say as it caused Marcus to bare his pearly white teeth that nearly caused Violet to get a heart attack.

“That was hot,” Luke grunted in her ear when she and Marcus approached the bar for another drink.

Violet furrowed her eyebrows. “You didn’t get the hint, did ya?” she asked and Luke tilted his head a little, the smirk vanishing from his face. “Leave me alone, Luke. Please?”

“Wha– Violet?” Before he could say anything else, Marcus had already whisked her away to go and dance on the dancefloor with a drink in their hand. None of it made much sense to Luke, but he figured it was just the new way Violet operated. Maybe she didn’t want to be exclusive. Maybe he needed to try harder.

And that’s what he was going to do.

Try harder.

Violet was almost scared to turn up to practice the next day. Luke would probably hate her for rejecting him and it would make everything awkward and weird. It wasn’t going to end well and she knew that.

When she arrived at the garage, she was proven right. Luke acted cold towards her as soon as she entered the studio and everyone could feel how the warm, comfortable bond they had, had turned ice cold.

“No, Bobby!” Luke groaned for the nth time that rehearsal. “It’s a B chord, not a C chord! Are you ever gonna get it right?!” His voice was thundering through the garage and it startled each and every person in that room.

Violet glanced over to Carrie, who furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. She hadn’t been informed about the conversation Violet and Luke had had the other day, but she could tell something had been off about the two since rehearsal started.

“Luke, calm down!” Alex yelled at the lead guitarist. He did know what had happened between the two and he knew Luke was taking it out on everybody else instead of owning up to it like an adult.

Luke scoffed, “No, Alex! This is exactly why we broke up in the first place! Because we don’t work!” His eyes flicked over to Violet, making her feel like there was a different layer to that sentence. They wouldn’t work either.

“No, you’re just mad because you got rejected!” Alex fought back. At least someone mentioned the elephant in the room. The girls on the sofa gasped and all three of them immediately looked at Violet, who shrunk in her seat behind the piano.

Luke clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “Rub it in, why don’t you?” he muttered before placing his guitar on its stand and gathering his stuff.

As he started to make his way to the door, Violet got out from behind the piano and ran after him. “You can’t run out of rehearsal, Luke! Come on! Just because I didn’t wanna go on a date with you, doesn’t mean you have to quit the band!”

“I do though,” he said and turned around. With a few large, but slow-paced steps, he stopped in front of the brunette girl that had broken his heart and hurt his fragile reputation.

“Why?”

Sighing, Luke muttered,“Because I joined for you, you idiot.”

Violet couldn't possibly say anything to that and let Luke walk away again. The feelings she had been feeling for him all this time finally got reciprocated. By a different version of Luke, that is, but still. It didn’t quite matter which Luke said it. She heard it coming from his mouth. The words she’d been wanting to hear for years.

“I am so sorry, guys,” she breathed, hiding her face in her hands. “This is all my fault.”

“It’s not your fault, Violet,” Reggie said, shrugging. “Luke’s just stubborn. He can’t take no for an answer.”

It was supposed to make her feel better, but it didn’t quite. She had ruined any and all chances she had of returning to her own universe just because one version of that guy had hurt her years ago.

“Can we end rehearsal early then?” Alex questioned, coming out from behind his drums. “I got a date with Willie tonight.”

Violet smiled. At least that was a thing here. “Yeah, sure. It’s not like we’re gonna be able to perform at Chubbie’s anyway,” she said, shrugging.

“We’ll get there, don’t worry,” Alex tried to soothe her and placed a hand on her shoulder as he passed her on his way to the door.

“Yeah, we’ll be ready in time,” Reggie agreed as he, along with Julie and Flynn left the garage, leaving Violet with the Wilsons.

Violet shook her head, trying to wrap it around what had just happened. “How can we be ready in time when the gig is this weekend?” she mumbled to herself when Carrie wrapped her arms around the girl.

“I know how to get your mind off of everything,” she said, pressing her temple against Violet’s. “Girl’s night at my place.”

Violet couldn’t help the smile reaching her cheeks. That did sound like a good plan. The best plan, even. It would keep her mind off Luke and the gig and the whole universe thing. It would calm her nerves and anxieties.

Or at least, she thought it would until they arrived at the Wilson’s house. A group of girls stood at the front door, angry expressions on their faces and arms crossed in front of their chests.

“Where have you guys been?” Kayla asked, grumpily. “We’ve been waiting here for over an hour!”

Carrie squeezed her eyes shut. “Fuck, I forgot about rehearsal…” she muttered.

“Rehearsal for what?” Violet questioned, unaware of any gigs that were happening for Dirty Candy. Though, judging from Kayla’s shocked face, there was a gig she should be aware of.

“The gig this Saturday!” she sneered. “A mega-important gig at that!”

Carrie and Violet glanced at each other, eyes widened in complete horror. The exact same day as the gig at Chubbie’s with the boys from Sunset Curve. As Kayla and the girls started yelling at Carrie and Violet, the latter completely zoned out. She couldn’t hear a word of what was said. All she could think about was how she might be stuck here for the rest of her life if she didn’t perform at Chubbie’s on Saturday with the boys.

What if they didn’t show up after that humongous fight? What if that wouldn’t be the thing they had to do to get her back?

The girl’s storming off snapped Violet out of her thoughts, yet she still found herself in some sort of state of shock. Nothing felt right anymore and everything kind of sucked. There was no way she was ever going to survive in this universe if stuff like this kept happening.

“Vi?” she could hear Bobby’s voice in the far distance. “Are you okay?”

She coughed, shaking herself back. “Yeah… Yeah. I’m okay,” she clearly lied but the Wilsons didn’t push further and instead took her inside where the girls watched some movies together.

Within half an hour, Carrie had already fallen asleep and Violet couldn’t bear watching the rest of the movie. Her mind was restless and kept running back and forth over her options and every possible scenario that could happen.

There was only one thing that could keep her mind off everything. So, she hoisted herself up from the couch and made her way to the music room where she took a seat at the piano.

Her fingers grazed the keys, letting a soft melody fly out the instrument. A content sigh left her body as she let the music take her away. It felt nice to let everything out of her system. It seemed to be her one and only escape to her from this crazy world.

“You okay, Vi?” Bobby’s voice shook her out of her thoughts, causing to stop playing the piano. “You seemed a little out of it earlier.” He moved over towards her and sat down next to her. Their shoulders touched and it caused a weird spark to send shivers down Violet’s back. Something she had never felt before.

“Yeah… Everything’s just… a lot, you know?” Bobby tilted his head, urging her to elaborate. “The switching universes, Luke suddenly being into me, the pressure of being in Dirty Candy…. It’s just – a lot… I’m used to being on my own, writing music with my best friends, but now I’m suddenly supposed to be this whole other person…. It’s exhausting.”

A single tear rolled down her cheek, which Bobby caught with his thumb just before it reached her lip. The two locked eyes and for a second, Violet found herself drowning in his eyes. She had never noticed how gorgeous they were until now. The dark brown, the slight twinkle that was in them. She had never seen him up close like this. Her eyes took that liberty to scan his entire face. From his eyes to his nose and cheeks to his lips. Before they could move back to his eyes, Bobby closed the gap between the two of them and kissed her, full on the lips.

Violet was startled, at first, but quickly melted away under his touch, closing her eyes as he deepened the kiss. The kiss lasted longer than it should’ve, but Violet didn’t quite mind. Or at least not until her mind drifted back to Luke and she felt like she was kissing him instead of Bobby.

This caused her to flinch back.

“Sorry! I shouldn’t have…. I’m sorry,” she quickly muttered before getting up and running out.

Though it was a mistake to Violet, Bobby didn’t quite see it like that. If it were up to him, this would’ve happened a lot earlier and could happen a lot more often. He had never admitted it to anyone, but he had been in love with Violet for years. Those feelings had never been reciprocated, so he didn’t act up on them either. Violet was just Violet. Until now.

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