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mclennonlgbt · 7 months ago

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Paris in John and Paul’s life

30th September 1961:

“John and I went on a trip for his twenty-first birthday. John was from a very middle-class family, which really impressed me because everyone else was from working-class families. To us John was upper class. His relatives were teachers, dentists, even someone up in Edinburgh in the BBC. It’s ironic, he was always very ‘fuck you!’ and he wrote the song ‘Working Class Hero’ – in fact, he wasn’t at all working class. Anyway, one of John’s relatives gave him £100 for his birthday. A hundred smackers in your hand! That was a real windfall. None of us could believe it. To this day if you gave me £100 I would be impressed. And I was his mate, enough said? ‘Let’s go on holiday.’ – ‘You mean me too? With the hundred quid? Great! I’m part of this windfall.’” - Paul McCartney, Anthology

“We planned to hitchhike to Spain. I had done a spot of hitchhiking with George and we knew you had to have a gimmick; we had been turned down so often and we’d seen that guys that had a gimmick (like a Union Jack round them) had always got the lifts. So I said to John, ‘Let’s get a couple of bowler hats.’ It was showbiz creeping in. We still had our leather jackets and drainpipes – we were too proud of them not to wear them, in case we met a girl; and if we did meet a girl, off would come the bowlers. But for lifts we would put the bowlers on. Two guys in bowler hats – a lorry would stop! Sense of Humour. This, and the train, is how we got to Paris." - Paul McCartney, Anthology

“And Paul and I also did the same thing, once. We just cancelled. We’d made it, in Liverpool. We were making good money, for those days. I can’t remember what it was – maybe a couple of hundred dollars a week – but enough that you’d have a little extra. You’d have it in your back pocket. And Paul and I just— A relative of mine gave me a hundred pounds, for my birthday, which I’d never seen that much money in me life. Paul and I just canceled all the engagements, and left for Paris… And George was furious, because he needed the money – to work, you know. But that was another time when the group was in debate as whether it would exist or not.” - John Lennon, 1976, an interview with Elliot Mintz

“Last night I heard that John and Paul have gone to Paris to play together – in other words, the band has broken up! It sounds mad to me, I don’t believe it…” - Stuart Sutcliffe, Anthology

"They were brothers. They were the Nerk Twins, and now they were taking a break from the Beatles and going off to Spain. En route, they’d stop a day or two in Paris, to size up the Brigittes, check out the kind of clothes Jurgen Vollmer wore, and perhaps see Jurgen himself, if he was around. [Johnny] Gustafson happened to bump into them the day they left, Saturday 30 September. “They both had bowler hats on, with the usual leather jackets and jeans. They said they were off to Paris, so I walked down to Lime Street station with them and watched them go. They were an incredible pair: always great fun, irreverent, and so close.” - Mark Lewisohn, All These Years: Volume One

“We’d never been there before. We were a bit tired so we checked into a little hotel for the night, intending to go off hitchhiking the next morning. Of course, it was too nice a bed after having hitched so we said, ‘We’ll stay a little longer,’ then we thought, ‘God, Spain is a long way, and we’d have to work to get down there.’ We ended up staying the week in Paris – John was funding it all with his hundred quid.

We would walk miles from our hotel; you do in Paris. We’d go to a place near the Avenue des Anglais and we’d sit in the bars, looking good. I still have some classic photos from there. Linda loves one where I am sitting in a gendarme’s mac as a cape and John has got his glasses on askew and his trousers down revealing a bit of Y-front. The photographs are so beautiful, we’re really hamming it up. We’re looking at the camera like, ‘Hey, we are artsy guys, in a café: this is us in Paris,’ and we felt like that.

We went up to Montmartre because of all the artists, and the Folies Bergères, and we saw guys walking around in short leather jackets and very wide pantaloons. Talk about fashion! This was going to kill them when we got back. This was totally happening. They were tight to the knee and then they flared out; they must have been about fifty inches around the bottom and our drainpipe trousers were something like fifteen or sixteen inches. We saw these trousers and said, ‘Excusez-moi, Monsieur, où did you get them?’ It was a cheap little rack down the street so we bought a pair each, went back to the hotel, put them on, went out on the street – and we couldn’t handle it: ‘Do your feet feel like they are flapping? Feel more comfortable in me drainies, don’t you?’ So it was back to the hotel at a run, needle and cotton out and we took them in to a nice sixteen with which we were quite happy. And then we met Jürgen Vollmer on the street. He was still taking pictures." - Paul McCartney, Anthology

“Jürgen had a flattened-down hairstyle with a fringe in the front, which we rather took to. We went over to his place and there and then he cut – hacked would be a better word – our hair into the same style.” - John Lennon, 1963

Interviewer: I heard you took a trip to Spain before once, didn’t you? On Holiday? Paul: I didn’t go to Spain, no. I tried once to make Spain but… and John and I were gonna hitchhike. We hitchhiked down from Liverpool… We didn’t hitchhike. No, we got the train down from Liverpool ‘cause we thought we won’t hitchhike down the first bit. And we got the boat over to Paris. Then we got the train into Paris ‘cause we thought: “Well, it’ll be too hard to get a hitch here”. And we just stayed in Paris all week. And eventually… I mean, all the time trying to get out of Paris and make Spain! We never made it, we just flew home at the end. What a lazy hitchhiking Holiday!

“The thing was all the kissing and holding that was going on in Paris. And it was so romantic just to be there and see them even though I was 21 and sort of not romantic. But I really loved it, the way the people would just stand under a tree kissing. And they weren’t not mauling at each other, they were just kissing.” - John Lennon

"John’s 21st birthday was a month away, and he knew he was getting money — 100 pounds cash, more than he or Paul had ever seen in their lives. (…) Bob Wooler was party to their planning, and fought with them:

They were bored, and decided they would go away for a month. I thought this was disastrous because they would be away from the scene too long and lose their fans, Fans were very capricious: they moved from one group to another. And anyway, what about the other two members, George Harrison and Pete Best?. What about them, what do they do? We argued a lot about this — we argued in the back room of the grapes pub to a large extent —- and they said ‘Well, we’ll go away for a fortnight only’

(…) Equally, the promoters who paid the Beatles over-the-odds to present them every week had to “lump it” (….). To a man, and woman, they were incensed by it - but John and Paul hadn’t a care. They didn’t mean to be rude about it but basically it was tough shit.

it was tough too on Dot and Cyn, Dot simply had to accept the situation, but Cyn had a greater case of grievance. John was heading off without her when he could so easily gave waited for the art school holidays. (…).

That John was taking Paul, no one else, accentuates the renewed closeness since Stu quit The Beatles. They were the Beatles force, an unstoppable and authentically powerful pair. “Lennon had the attitude”, Wooler said, “and taking his lead from Lennon, McCartney could be similar. At times they reminded me of those well-to-do Chicago lads Leopold and Loeb, who killed someone because they felt superior to him. Lennon and McCartney were superior human beings”

"You’d always see them together, in the pub or walking along the street", says Johnny Gustafson of the Big Tree. "They were a duo, and seemed each other’s equal". Bernie Boyle, the young lad hanging around with them at every opportunity, says, "They were like brothers, with John as the elder and Paul’s mentor. They were so tight it was like there was a telepathy between them: on stage, they’d look at each other and know instinctively what the other was thinking"

They were brothers. They were the Nerk Twins, and now they were taking a break from The Beatles and gofin off to Spain.

Gustafson happened to bump into them the day they left, Saturday, September 30. “They both had bowler hats on, with the usual leather jackets and jeans. They said they were off to Paris, so I walked down to Lime Street station and watched them go. They were an incredible pair: always great fun, irreverent and so close. - Mark Lewisohn, Tune In: The Beatles: All These Years (2013)

As was written in this post: That last picture is one Paul took of John sleeping in Paris. From what I remember of a performance he did of ‘Here Today’, and earlier comments, this picture hangs framed on a wall in Paul’s house.

Unconfirmed quote (may or may not be true):

"He must have been fond of me to spend that money. He let me have all the banana milkshakes I wanted.” - Paul McCartney

In January 1964, only a few scant weeks before the Beatles took America by storm, the band mates settled in for an extended stay in Paris. For the group, the Parisian visit proved to be a magical experience, with the Beatles playing 18 shows at the Olympia Theatre between Jan. 16 and Feb. 4 (source).

The Beatles were staying at the George V Hotel at the time. John and Paul composed "Can't Buy Me Love", "I Should Have Known Better" and "If I Fell" on the piano.

The photo Paul took of John (in the "Eyes Of The Storm" book):

1966: Paul, his girlfriend Maggie McGivern, John and Brian Epstein spend 5 days in Paris. "All of them flew into France separately — Lennon had been filming abroad and Epstein had been away on business. Maggie and Paul, she says, traveled apart ‘as part of keeping the relationship secret’. During the five-day trip the foursome stayed at the same Paris hotel where she and Paul shared a luxury suite. ‘It was a marvelous holiday,’ she says. ‘. . . just walking around the streets of Paris.‘My abiding memory is of me, John and Paul lying under the Eiffel Tower, gazing up at it. We couldn’t go up because we would have been recognised, and we were masters at the art of avoiding people." [x]

1969:

Hoping to get married in France, John Lennon and Yoko Ono flew to Paris on this day [16th March].

The couple had decided to marry on 14 March 1969, two days after the wedding of Paul McCartney to Linda Eastman; whether it was in response to this event on some level is open to conjecture.

On McCartney’s wedding day Lennon and Ono were travelling to Poole in Dorset, where he introduced her to his Aunt Mimi. During the journey he asked his chauffeur Les Anthony to go to Southampton to enquire about the possibility of the wedding being held at sea, on the cross-channel ferry to France.

(source)

“On March 12, Paul married Linda Eastman at Marylebone Register Office in London, amid scenes of hysterical grief from his female fans. None of the other Beatles was present. The news reached John as he and Yoko were driving down to visit Aunt Mimi in Poole. Yoko’s divorce decree had become final a few weeks earlier, and, in a resurgence of Beatle copycat, John told her they, too, must get married as soon as possible” - Philip Norman, John Lennon: The Life (2008)

"We chose Gibraltar because it is quiet, British and friendly. We tried everywhere else first. I set out to get married on the car ferry and we would have arrived in France married, but they wouldn’t do it. We were no more successful with cruise ships. We tried embassies, but three weeks’ residence in Germany or two weeks’ in France were required." - John Lennon

1974:

“After a late lunch, Linda launched into a long paean to the joys of living in England. When she was finished, she turned to John and said, “Don’t you miss England?”

“Frankly,” John replied, “I miss Paris.””

— May Pang, Loving John (1983)

1978:

Wings album "London Town" is released. It includes the song "Cafe on the Left Bank", the lyrics of which clearly refer to John and Paul's trip to Paris.

Late 1970s (maybe 1978?): John is singing to Paul about Paris in a home recording. Longer version

1970s: John writes "Skywriting by Word of Mouth", a book that would be released in 1986. One story is about sex he had with a woman in Paris. Here it is. As anon noticed here: "...the woman is called Amie L'Nitrate and Amyl Nitrate is a reference to poppers. He talks about grabbing her 'pomme de frites.' Her potatoes? He uses the term 'tread lightly on some loafers' which is an old euphenism for being gay. Amie says they should have sex to God Only Knows. Then John says their relationship ended in a seething rage but he still thinks of 'her.'" @sgtsaltsband concluded in the same post: "so he writes a story about PARIS ( where he and paul went on a trip for his 21st bday and never stopped talking about it ) , in the HOTEL where the Beatles stayed later on [Hotel V in 1964] , names the girl after POPPERS ( a drug commonly used by gay men during sex ) , the girl wants to have sex to PAULS fave song and he uses this PHRASE." Also: this is an excerpt of the story:

"Boogie" is a slang word for sex or dance (also, "Born to Boogie" is a 1972 movie starring Marc Bolan, Elton John and Ringo Starr). "Band on the Run" is a Paul McCartney and Wings' album which John loved. "Sue you sue me" can be a reference to to the Beatles' legal and business disputes and the fact that Paul sued John, George and Ringo in December 1970, and to "Sue Me, Sue You Blues", a song by George.

(thank you @menlove for uploading the story and pointing out interesting words!)

1994 - Paul inducting John to Rock and Roll Hall of Fame:

“And then on your 21st birthday you got £100 off one of your rich relatives up in Edinburgh, so we decided we’d go to Spain. So we hitch-hiked out of Liverpool. And we got as far as Paris, and decided to stop there for a week. And eventually got our haircut, by a fellow named Jürgen, and that ended up being the ‘Beatle haircut’.”

I also remember watching an interview with Paul about his album "Memory Almost Full" (2007). Thank you for adding, @ringompreg!

youtube

(it's like 7 minutes in) Interviewer: There is a very beautiful song called "The End Of The End", the way you talk about your whole ending, and the lyric goes: "It's a start of a journey to a much better place." You mean, better than England? Paul: It's basically a start of a journey to France. Or Spain through France. Yeah, that's what it is. It's a much better place, Paris.

Also worth mentoning:

"All You Need Is Love" begins with La Marseillaise.

"Picasso's Last Words (Drink To Me)" contains French-language speech by BBC broadcaster Pierre Le Sève.

Bonus

#mclennon #mclennon is real #mclennon anthology #paris #frankly i miss paris #may pang #yoko ono #linda eastman #the beatles #gay #bisexual #france #insane #compilation #master post #Youtube

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toomuchracket · 9 months ago

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queen of hearts (birthday party!matty x reader fluff)

penultimate day of valentine's week. this is a short and sweet one about you appearing at a signing with matty for the first time, a couple of months into dating. enjoy <3

“i really don't know what to wear today.”

matty leans round the doorframe, toothbrush hanging from his mouth exactly the same way a cigarette usually does. “just wear whatever,” he shrugs, voice muffled by toothpaste; he disappears to spit, and smirks at you when he returns. “go like that, even.”

“in my underwear?” you scoff. “who are we? kimye?”

your boyfriend laughs. “i love you.”

you sigh. “if you really did, you'd help me pick out an outfit.”

“baby, it's just an album signing, it's not fashion week. but alright,” matty stands behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, scrutinising the contents of the two weekend bags you've emptied onto his bed. “i like that skirt there,” he points at a long satin black and white swirly thing. “you could wear it with one of my t-shirts, if you wanted?”

his voice sounds so tender you can't help but smile, leaning round to kiss his cheek. “would you want me to wear one of your t-shirts with it, darling?”

“yeah,” matty nuzzles his face into your neck. “maybe that my bloody valentine top you've secretly had your eye on for years.”

“i have not!”

“liar,” he pinches your bare hip, kissing your neck when you yelp before letting go of you to rifle through his wardrobe. “here,” he returns with the t-shirt. “arms up, sweetheart.”

“m’not a baby, you know,” you grumble, as matty puts the top on for you.

“yeah, you are,” he beams when your face reappears from the fabric, taking it in his hands and kissing all over it. “my baby, my baby.”

“betting on losing dogs, are we?”

“hmm? wait, don’t tell me, i know this one, i do,” your boyfriend closes his eyes, reopening them and squinting in anticipation. “... mitski?”

you cheer, kissing him. “yes!”

he grins. “i listened to that album. liked it.”

“it's a good one,” you pull your skirt on and slip into your shoes; matty automatically kneels to help you lace them. “i think - oh, thanks, babe - yeah, i think i might see if i can buy it on vinyl today, actually.”

“dunno if you'll be able to, darling,” matty kisses your thigh through your skirt. “the amount of fans who've asked me if you're coming today? i reckon you'll be bombarded the whole time.”

“really?”

“yeah. people love you!” your boyfriend stands, kissing you deeply. “but not as much as i do. obv.”

“love you,” you kiss him again. “even when you're being delusional about how popular i am amongst your fanbase.”

“i'm right.”

“whatever you say, baby.”

as much as it pains you to admit it, when you begin to near the record shop in the car, it's clear that he really is. while you're in the middle of a conversation (interrogation, really) with ross about the mutual acquaintance of yours he’s started seeing - a travel photographer you know from condé nast meetings - matty elbows you in the ribs. “sorry, darling, i didn't mean to do that so hard. just got excited,” he grins, gesturing with his head to something on the street outside the window. “look at that girl's tote bag.”

grumbling, rubbing your sore chest, you squint to see what he means; when you do, your jaw drops. “fuck off. is that me?”

“yeah! as one of those saint candles!” matty laughs. “wonder where she got it. i want one. i'm gonna ask,” when the car stops, traffic gridlocked, he opens the window and leans out, while you facepalm and ross winces. “yo! love the tote bag! where'd you get it?”

“i made it!” a voice calls back, barely audible amidst the shrieks of the people around it. “i can make you one, too, matty!”

“would you? oh, thank you, darling. you're coming to the signing, yeah?”

“yeah!”

“alright. we'll talk then. see you!”

“tell your girlfriend i love her!”

matty laughs. “she's right here, she heard!”

the shrieks get even louder. your jaw drops, and ross laughs. “maybe you should wave to them, mate.”

“this is fucking insane,” you mutter in disbelief, undoing your seatbelt and shuffling to sit on matty's lap; his hands make their way around your waist on instinct, and you lean out the window somewhat nervously. “um. hi, guys?”

the scream you get in response is almost deafening - the six girls, none of whom look older than nineteen, look totally ecstatic to see you, squealing your name and waving so excitedly you can't quite comprehend it. you grin, and laugh when the one with the tote bag brandishes it towards you with a cry. “my patron saint!”

“oh, bless you,” you wink, and matty kisses your shoulder (out of sight of the audience) as they all laugh. “how are you guys, anyway? excited?”

the chatter restarts, but the smallest girl piques your attention first. “yeah! this is my first 75 album signing. i'm hyped!”

“is it?” matty pokes his head out, at the exact same time you say “mine too”. he kisses your cheek. “aww, that's cute. i mean, i've been going to your book signings for years, but,” he exaggeratedly rolls his eyes, and ross laughs from the other side of the car. “whatever.”

you sigh, turning to the girls. “what my darling boyfriend failed to mention is that i'd send him a signed copy - with a personal message, mind you - of everything i published, as pr, and he'd still show up and buy another one and make me sign it,” you ruffle his hair. “matty healy tree murderer confirmed.”

“but that's so sweet,” one of the girls sighs.

matty points at her. “exactly! and,” he looks at you adoringly. “i just like hearing you talk. that's why i came to all the events.”

this isn't news to you, but it melts your heart nonetheless. still, you can't resist - “simp”.

“says the woman who spent three hours watching tiktok edits of me yesterday.”

the girls cackle, collapsing into each other giggling in the unique way only young women do. “real,” one of them shouts, laughing even harder when you salute to her. “oh my god, i love you!”

matty turns to you, smug. “see?” he turns back to the window. “she didn't believe me earlier, when i told her you guys were hoping she'd come with me today. underestimated how much you love her.”

“yeah, yeah,” you rest your head against his. “he’s right, though - this is surprising to me. but very lovely, you guys are sweet.”

“and you guys are perfect,” tote bag girl grins. “seriously. it's so good to see you both so happy. please don't break up, ever, it would be worse for me than my actual parents’ divorce.”

you gasp out an “oh my god”, while matty giggles. “nah, no need to worry,” he looks at you with such tenderness you could cry. “she's it for me, the love of my life; if she leaves me, i'm going with her.”

“as if i'd ever leave you. love you too much to do that,” you scoff, tugging him into you for a hug. a retching noise from the other side of the car breaks your little reverie, and you giggle. “sorry for making you sit through the sappiness, ross.”

“wait, ross is here too?!”

#mads muses #mads does writing #into the birthday partyverse #valentine75 #matty healy fanfic #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fic #matty healy fluff #matty healy x reader #matty x reader

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thelaisydazy · 8 months ago

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Band!141 x Reader - Roach

“Thank you, we’ll call in a few days..”

Your stomach churned. Were they really going to call you? Or, was that just what they told the dancers they weren’t satisfied with?

Your feet carried you down the street, pushing past the crowds of people that flood into the city every day. Your stomach growls. In your rush to get to the audition, you hadn’t eaten breakfast today and you were starving. You take out your phone to check what’s around.There was a little diner open nearby, it wasn’t exactly the fanciest place, but it was cheap enough for your budget. You turn to head towards the diner only to walk directly into someone, your phone clattering to the sidewalk.

You stumble back to see a young man, perhaps only a few years older than yourself. He’s tall, though certainly not the tallest you’d seen today. He’s got spiky brown hair, which you imagine might be soft and fluffy without all the gel in it, and soft brown eyes. He’s wearing a tight fitting black muscle-tee that cut just slightly too short, showing off his midriff and a pair of fitted black ripped jeans. Just how many punks were you going to run into today?

“Woah, hey sorry,” he said, bending over to pick up your phone and offer it back to you. You quickly take it, frowning as you see the screen is cracked now. “Oh damn it, sorry ‘bout that.”

“It’s… it’s fine,” you say dejectedly. It’s not, but it’s not his fault you walked right into him and dropped your phone.

“Hey, I’m going to meet some friends for lunch,” he says. “Why don’t you come along? My treat, I feel bad about your phone.”

You look him over cautiously. “I don’t even know your name,” you say.

“My friends call me Roach,” he says with a grin. “But you can call me Gary if you’d rather.”

“It’s nice to meet you Gary,” you say, giving him your name as well. “Roach is a funny nickname.”

“Yeah, my mates and I used to mess around with fireworks,” Gary explains. “Couple times I didn’t get away fast enough, somehow I didn’t get hurt though. My mates said I was like a roach, just surviving anything.” He chuckles at the memory. “How about that lunch then?”

You think for a moment. Is it really safe to go with a perfect stranger? The band you met on the subway jumps into your mind. They’d been nice enough to stop the train for you and offer you a seat in the full car, perhaps Gary was just as nice.

“Sure, why not?” you say. “Couldn’t hurt.”

Gary grins at you and you can’t help but smile back. There’s just something friendly about him, you just hope his friends are as nice.

---

“Roach! You made it!” A familiar voice calling from a booth at the back of the bar shouts out. You turn to see the same group of men you’d met just earlier that day. It’s Kyle that spots you first out of them, that amazing smile crossing his face. “I see you met our new friend.”

You and Gary walk over and you take a seat near the middle of the table, between Kyle and Gary. You look at the latter. “You know, when you said you were meeting friends, I should have guessed this is who you meant,” you say with a giggle. Looking around the table, Johnny and Ghost were sitting at the far end from you, Ghost having just pulled his mask back up to cover his face when he saw you walk over. John was sitting on the other side of Kyle from you, he drank from his beer and smiled at you.

“How’d you get on at your audition, love?” John asked, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “Did’ya get in?”

“Oh uh.. They said I should hear back in a couple days,” you say, fidgeting with your napkin. You still weren’t so sure the instructors had actually meant it though.

“I see..” John said thoughtfully.

“Bonnie thing lek ye?” Johnny chimed in from his seat next to Ghost. “They wis probably speechless or summat.” Ghost nudged him in the ribs with a sharp look.

“Audition?” Gary asked, looking at you. “Whatcha tryin’ out for?”

Before you could answer, Kyle wrapped his arm over your shoulder, though he kept his grip light enough that you could slip away if you wanted to. “Ballet, that fancy place,” he said. “Gonna be a real principal dancer one day.”

Your face feels hot at his confidence. “Oh well… I don’t know about all that,” you say nervously. “I mean.. I’d just be happy in the corps de ballet really.” You’re not really certain you’ve got what it takes for a lead role anyway. “How did that recording go anyway?” you ask, trying to change the subject.

“Fine, if Soap would focus,” John rumbles, shooting the younger man a look.

“Haud yer wheesht!” Johnny exclaims looking a bit flustered himself. “Aye wis jus’ think’n alood.”

“An’ not staying on beat,” Kyle teased back.

“Oh I’m sorry..” you say, feeling bad for asking now.

“Dinna fash, leannan,” Johnny laughs. He starts to stand up. “Am gett’n ‘nother round.” He returns a few moments later and slides a bubbly red drink in front of you with one of those little paper umbrellas in it.

“What is it?” you ask. Johnny only grins and shrugs at you. Despite your better judgment you take a sip, surprised not to taste any alcohol in the cherry flavored drink at all. “Is this a Shirley Temple?” Your surprised reaction makes the table laugh.

“They’re not a kid Johnny,” Kyle laughs. He looks at you. “Lemme know if you want a real drink.” All you can do is nod quietly in response as you sip your Shirley Temple.

#141 band #band!141 #141 x reader #simon riley #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #john price #john mactavish #soap #kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick #gaz #gary roach sanderson #gary sanderson #roach

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starlightandsouls · 2 years ago

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Hi, I had this idea and maybe you could write something around it… if you don't want to, that's fine!

Azriel and reader are in a relationship, reader already has a daughter who adores Az, maybe one night the little girl ask him to read her a bedtime story and she says something like "I love you daddy, goodnight" and that was the first time she said those to him and he goes tell reader

I love your writing!

My Angel

Azriel POV...

He should have known better than to be roped into one of Morrigan's plans, but his family had the annoying habit of dragging him into whatever they were doing. Morrigan and Feyre had the idea that things were getting a bit too ‘boring’ so had consequently decided to throw a party at the River House. And that was all good enough. The problem was that they had recruited him to run all their errands.

So now, albeit unwillingly, he found himself with a list in hand, standing in the Rainbow centre, frowning at everything he had to get. Honestly he believed that as the Spymaster of his court, he had much more important things to do. And he had voiced as such to Rhysand, but in the end the High Lord had been unable to deny his mate. Sap.

He had just left a winery after purchasing Cassian and Mor’s long list of demands, face buried in the damn list, when he had stumbled into something. Or someone as it seemed. Grunting, he looked down and found a small girl staring up at him, scowling.

Now Azriel was not good with kids, had never known how to dealt with them. The closest had been his nephew, Nyx. And even with him, Azriel had been terrified at first, too scared that he would do something wrong, would somehow hurt the little boy. For some time, he had downright refused to hold Nyx, consumed by his fear and doubt. It wasn’t until that Rhysand had almost shoved the boy into his arms, slapping him across the head for his ‘stupidity’ as his brother put it, that he had started bonding with the boy more.

Now, however, he was pulled back reality as the girl before him snapped at him,

“Hey! You dropped my ice cream, mister.”

Azriel was taken aback. Usually kids, parents included, shied away from him. They were all too intimidated by him; by his title, his shadows... his scars. So Azriel stopped bothering about them altogether. So for this little girl to be so unabashedly reprimanding him for causing her to drop her ice cream, definitely took him by surprise.

“I’m sorry?” Azriel asked, still not grasping the situation at hand.

“You should really watch where you’re going. That was my favourite flavour and its gone because of you.”

Azriel looked around, trying to locate either of the child’s parents, not wanting to abandon her in the middle of the busy street. Just as he was about to ask her where they were, a woman exited one of the shops and frantically ran over to them. And Azriel’s heart stopped. Before him now was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. The golden light of the Summer sun made you glow as you rushed over. And Azriel was once again speechless, this time by your breath-taking beauty.

“Aria! How many times have I told you to stay close to me. You know you’re not allowed to wander off,” you reprimanded, not even noticing him standing there, watching you, enamoured.

“Mama, I was just waiting for you outside. Its so stuffy in there. And I was just having my ice cream when this man pushed me!”

The blatantly untrue accusation broke him out of his reverie. Azriel made an incredulous sound and shot back,

“I did not! You were in my way.”

The woman then, finally, turned to take him in. Her eyes wide, obviously realising who he was. She started to apologise when her daughter interrupted her again,

“Well you should keep your eyes open while walking, mister. You have to buy me a new ice cream now.”

“Aria!” you started, horror etched across her face, then turning to him she continued, “I’m so sorry. She’s not usually like this, I don’t know what has gotten into her...”

“Please, no need to apologise. I mean, she’s not wrong. I was a bit preoccupied. I should have noticed her,” Azriel agreed all of a sudden, overcome by a need to appease you, wanting to ease the frown marring her beautiful face. Woah. Where did that come from? You had a daughter, so you must have a husband. Therefore he shouldn’t be finding you anything... let alone beautiful.

‘She’s alone, master.’

His shadows, ever the busy bodies, whispered to him. Well that certainly wasn’t any excuse. If she was alone right now, that didn’t mean she didn’t have someone waiting for her somewhere. Although, looking down he notices the stark absence of a ring on her left hand. Strange...

“Exactly. You were in the wrong. So now you have to buy me a new ice cream,” Aria stated, matter of fairly. Azriel laughed at her dedication to her ice cream before asking,

“Well I have to run right now. I was running some errands for my family. Can I get a rain check?”

“Mama what’s a rain check? It’s not going to rain today, the weather so hot, I’m boiling,” Aria inquired, her brow furrowed as she tried to make sense of the word.

“A rain check is when you postpone something and ask for a later date,” you explained.

“Oh. Then when will you buy me ice cream then, mister?” Aria rambled on, unfazed completely.

Both of you laughed at her dedication to her ice cream. Turning to each other you both exchanged names. After some back and forth, the two of you decided to meet at an ice cream parlour that had just opened in town. Azriel had heard nothing but praises of the place from Nesta and the Valkyries who frequented the place often in their book buying sprees.

Several years later, Azriel would remember to thank Morrigan for sending him out that day. As Azriel flew back home, smiling to himself at the ice cream date he now somehow had with the two of you, he was oblivious to the fact that he had just met the love of his life.

...............................................................................

The ice cream date had been just the beginning of the beautiful journey the three of them would embark on together. The very first thing Azriel had learned about you was that you and Aria were all by yourselves. Aria’s dad, the fucking prick, had taken off just as you had gotten pregnant and had never looked back. The fact shouldn’t have made him as glad as it did. Yes, Azriel was enraged on your behalf and had half the mind of asking you his name just so he could hunt the bastard down. But he was happy because it meant you weren’t off limits. It meant he could maybe, just maybe, convince you to give him a chance.

Although as time passed, Azriel realised it wasn’t you who needed convincing; it was Aria. The eight year old girl was so much more smarter than he had given her credit for. She seemed protective of you in a way. Overtime she put Azriel through so many of, what he later realised, were tests to see if he would stay for the two of them, if he wasn’t just playing around. This continued for some time even after the two of you had officially started dating.

One day, he had been in the middle of going through reports for Rhys, when one his shadows who he always left with the two of you appeared by his side and frantically pulled him up. He had immediately winnowed to your house, knowing his shadow would only leave the two of you if it was an emergency. To say he had been scared would be an understatement. His heart had dropped as he arrived, mind instantly assuming the worst possible scenarios. Was Aria hurt? Were you? What if one of his enemies had gotten to the two of you? If anyone had hurt a single hair on your head, he would-

Storming into the kitchen, Azriel was met by a site of absolute chaos. He was relieved to find the two of you safe and sound. But his relief was short lived, and was replaced by confusion at the state of the usually meticulous kitchen.

Not a single inch of the counter top was empty. Dishes and flour and sugar (was that maple syrup?) were thrown around haphazardly.

You were wiping down the spilled flour when you noticed his presence. Looking up, you exclaimed,

“Oh, Az. When did you get here?”

“Just now. What... what happened here, love?” he inquired, slowly making his way over as he tried to navigate through the mess strewn on the floor.

“Well, I had thought since today was Saturday I could get some more sleep in. But this little miss decided to take it upon herself to make breakfast today,” you answered as you turned to Aria, levelling her with a glare. Azriel was glad he wasn’t on the receiving end. While you were usually the most kind hearted, amicable person he had ever met, he knew you could be firm when you wanted to. Whether that was with Aria whenever she wouldn’t cooperate or some stranger trying to mess with her.

Speaking of Aria, the shadow that had alerted him in the first place, was now playfully slinking around at her feet, like a goddamn pet dog. Ah, the power the two of you had. You, with your endless love and adoration, had reduced Azriel to a love sick puppy within a few months of being together. And little Aria had trained his shadows, the source of his power, the bringer of death and pain for many, to eager puppies. Ah, how love changes a person.

Aria turned to him with a cheeky grin and said,

“I just wanted to do something nice for Mama.”

“Is that so?”

“Mhmm. I don’t know how it got so messy. That’s why i called you here, Azzy. So you can help her clean up,” Aria answered. Another habit the little girl had was giving him the strangest of nicknames.

“Darling, I don’t think that’s why I left my shadows here. You scared me, you know. I thought something happened,” Azriel admonished. While he was always joking around with her, he felt it was important to teach her some responsibility from time to time.

“Aria!” you remarked as you overheard what your daughter had done.

“What? It’s just so much! And Azzy doesn’t mind. Do you, Azzy?”

“No, no I don’t,” Azriel said as he huffed a laugh. He would do anything for the two of you.

Azriel rolled up his sleeves and started gathering up all the dishes to move to the sink. You were dusting off the spilled flour while Aria observed from the corner. The two of you had forbidden her from entering the kitchen while they cleaned. The little devil would surely have created an even bigger mess.

With all the dishes piled up, Azriel was just about to start washing them when Aria slowly tip toed over to him. With her hands behind her back, an innocent smile on her face, she made it impossible for him to scold her anymore.

“Azzy. I have to tell you something,” Aria whispered. He gestured for her to continue but she shook her head,

“No, no. Come here. Its a secret.”

Azriel sighed and leaned down, knowing the little girl would not relent until she got her way. As Azriel leaned closer so she could say whatever she had to, he was met by her palm smacking across his right cheek. Erupting in giggles, Aria ran away before either of them could say anything.

Standing up, Azriel simply stared at you as your hand flew to your mouth to stop your own laughter. If only his brothers could see him now; standing in a kitchen, doing dishes in a house not his own, cheek covered in a hand print of flour. They would surely think he had been replaced by some clone.

Laughing, you walked over to him. You wiped off the flour covering his face, then wrapped your arms around his waist.

“I’m sorry darling. I hope she didn’t interrupt anything important,” you said as you leaned closer.

“Nonsense. Nothing’s more important to me than you. I’d do anything for my girls,” he replied firmly, hoping you understood how much the two of you meant to him.

“I love you Azriel.”

“I love you too,” Azriel replied, with his own smirk. Before you could have the chance to move away, he had grabbed some flour from a stray bowl and blown it all across your face.

Azriel erupted in laughter, at your expression, at your now completely white face.

“Oh you little shit,” you snapped as you reached over for some flour of your own.

The sight was truly comical; the two of you running around like maniacs, chucking flour at each other. The house filled with sounds of laughter and joy.

.....................................................

Several months later, Azriel was staying over at your place for the night. Having been gone to the Winter Court for some recon, Azriel had been away from his girls long enough that he had jumped at the offer.

You were already in bed, waiting for him. Knowing you had a long day at work, Azriel had offered to put away the dishes after dinner and put Aria to bed as well. You had refused at first, knowing he had just returned home and surely must be exhausted as well. But Azriel had heard none of it and had sent you off with your favourite novel and a warm cup of tea.

With everything else done, Azriel now lay in bed with Aria, reading her a story as she slowly dozed off. One thing about Aria was that whenever she was with Azriel, whether that was while he was reading her a bed time story, or sitting on his lap for dinner, or while she rambled about her school to him, she always took his hand. And that always took his breath away.

Just like right now, Aria had his right hand clutched in both of hers. Her soft hands rubbing shapes into his hand, smoothing over the rough scars. When the two of you had started getting closer, he had been hesitant in initiating any contact with Aria, had always kept his distance, since he thought his scars might scare her. You, however had interpreted it as not wanting anything to do with your daughter. And you had expressed this to him with tears in your eyes. Tears that had almost killed him, to think that he had been the cause of your distress. It was then that he had told you of his own insecurities, how he was afraid that his scars might bother the innocent little girl. You had immediately tried to ease his doubt, assuring him that they had never thought any different of him because of his scarred hands.

Looking down, he saw Aria had gone to sleep. He put away the book and slowly eased his hand from hers. He had pulled up the blanket around her, making sure she was properly tucked in. He was just about to get up and leave, when Aria roused. Internally cursing himself for waking her up, Azriel made to run his hands through her hair, knowing it always puts her straight to sleep.

Aria, however, sat up on the bed and threw her arms around his neck whispering,

“I love you, papa. Goodnight.”

And then just as quick got back in bed and went to sleep. Azriel was frozen in place. Tears rolled freely down his face. Aria had never called him that before. Always referring to him through her silly nicknames. And to think... she trusted him enough to consider him her father... it was more than anything Azriel could ever ask for in life.

Leaning down, he kissed the top of her head and slowly said,

“I love you too, my angel.”

Azriel tip toed his way to the door and closed it silently behind him, not wanting to wake the child again.

He moved away from the door quietly for a moment, before practically running down the hallway to tell you what had inspired.

Later that night, as he lay with you in his arms, Azriel couldn’t believe any of this was real. He had a girlfriend, who he loved more than the stars in the sky, who he would give and take a life for. He had a... daughter. He had a family of his own. Each night, he would say a silent prayer to the Mother. Thanking her for bestowing this gift upon him. Azriel knew an eternity would not be enough to express his gratitude, his devotion, to the two of you. His two angels.

#azriel #azriel shadowsinger #azriel imagine #acotar hc #acotar headcanon #azriel headcanon #azriel headcanons #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel x oc #acotar fanfiction #imagine acotar #azriel acotar #azriel fanfic #acotar #acotar fic

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rock-n-macabre · 7 months ago

Text

Love's a Burning Fire

I held onto Severen's arm, begging him he doesn't have to do this and to just let Caleb go so we can leave to the next state like Jesse was saying. "He ain't worth it, Sev! We gotta make tracks before the sun's up again!" I pleaded. It fell upon deaf ears. When Severen wanted something - there was no stopping him.

"Dontcha worry that sweet li'l head of yers, darlin'. Imma get my spur back , then we can mosey along to the next spot. Easy." He gave a reassuring grin before making his way onto the street, preparing to take on Caleb.

It looked like Severen was getting the upper hand of things, which was a relief...that meant we could get back on the road quicker than I expected . But that all changed when an 18 wheeler came down and Caleb went running up to it. I saw Severen pull out his pistol and a grim grin came across my face. Sev had the best shot and guaranteed this would end the showdown.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

I damn near choked on a laugh seeing Caleb get into the driver's seat, which obviously Severen found downright hilarious as he stood smack dab in the middle of the road , taunting the boy. Suddenly the truck came barreling towards Severen...and the damn lunatic still didn't move. I kept shouting for him to get out of the way, while respecting his wishes for my safety to stay out of it while he handled things . It felt like my slow beating heart would drop out of my ass when I saw Severen get creamed by the truck. I've seen him go through worse - this was probably just foreplay to Severen- but it still was brutal to watch.

I watched in anticipation hoping Severen could recoup so we could just leave already.Suddenly his mangled self comes up onto the hood of the truck and goes to dismantle it. This oughta stop Caleb...it must..but once again, wrong. Caleb made the damn thing jack-knife and explode after he ditched it and ran off. I could hear Jesse and Diamondback approach the site after a few moments , while Mae and Homer stayed back. Diamondback told me to come along as Jesse wanted to end Caleb for good despite Mae's protests. I shook my head, claiming to meet up with them... I just needed a moment. They nodded and went off on their hunt for Caleb.I fell onto my knees and sobbed.

My mate was gone.

My lovable, pain in the ass goober that was always wisecracking...gone. I looked on the ground to find one of his trophies off his jacket on the ground, and picked it up. I ran my thumb over the detailing and clutched it close. I wasn't ready to lose Severen. He made it this many years and THIS is how it ends? Life just wasn't fair.

Suddenly a pair of boots with one rowel-less spur stood in front of me.

"Y'gonna sit there and mope all day 'r are ya gonna gimme some sugar, darlin?"

I looked up to see Severen looking beyond worse for wear, completely annihilated. The healing process taking a slower time regenerating himself.

"Sev! I thought I lost you!"

I choke on a sob as I held onto his leg, refusing to let go.I felt his boot nudge itself into my nether regions as his fingers wound themselves into my hair and gently yanked my head back to meet his gaze.

"Ain't nothin like bein close t' death that makes one feel so alive. I reckon yer heart Mus' be doin' flips by now... how 'bout we celebrate before headin off...whattaya say darlin?"

I have no time to respond as he manages to pull me into the alleyway and pushes me onto the ground. He continues as he grabs a hold of me, his strength still strong yet his body slowly stitching itself back.

"Now I need some time to get my britches back in line...how 'bout you en'ertain me some, sugar? Then we can mosey along to Jesse and the gang."

I bite my lip as I gather the hint he is conveying. His smirk becoming more apparent as his body makes its way to becoming itself again.

"Anythin ya have in mind, Sev?" I question as I go to unzip his leather pants, but his hand bats me away.

"I wanna see ya get off on me. Show me how bad ya need me." He smirked coyly as his boot tapped my nether regions again.

#severen near dark #Severen #severen x reader #Smut #smutty smut smut #near dark 1987 #Let me know if you want more #Or share with what you think happens next #Choose your destiny #I choose to do questionable things #Near Dark

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jessicaloons · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter 10:

You been stressed out lately. Yeah, me too…

Masterlist - Previous - Next

"Take care, ma belle!" I said and she nodded.

"We will text every day!" she said and I smiled, as best as I could.

"Pinky promise?" I looked her in the eyes.

"Pinky promise!" she blushed a little.

After one last kiss on her forehead she walked to the car and got in, then opened the window.

"Good luck in Portimaõ, Charlie bear!" she said with that beautiful smile that made my knees go weak. JK started the car and they drove off. I walked on the streets, watching as the car turned left. And she was gone. I don’t know how long I stood there, as someone said my name.

"Charles? What are you doing in the middle of the road?" Joris asked and I turned around "Get off there, mate!"

"I was saying goodbye to Lizzie." I swallowed hard and walked back to my house, Joris following me.

"Oh… I see. It’s good for her, I guess? She wasn’t having it the easiest here, right?" he said and I looked at him a little confused.

"What do you mean?" I asked and he just shrugged his shoulders as we stepped into the elevator.

"Well, it was loud, busy, she couldn’t catch a break outside." he said hastily and I eyed his expression. In the last months I had more than once the feeling that Joris wasn’t completely honest with me, that he was hiding something. And not just him, also Riccardo, Marta and even Arthur. But I couldn’t grasp what.

"You sure that’s it?" I asked again and Joris closed his eyes for a moment "Joris?"

"There’s a video. From you and Lizzie. On your boat… when Lizzie had a little problem with… you know…" he began and my eyes widened. I knew exactly what he meant "Yeah, well anyways, someone filmed it and put it on Instagram… she saw it…"

"When was this? And why haven’t you told me that?" I was mad.

"On Friday, that’s why she asked us to not talk about it. She didn’t want to ruin your birthday…" he said and I scoffed. That’s so typical for her.

"That’s why she was coming back from the toilet looking like she cried? Not because it was all too much? It was because of that video!" I said and Joris nodded "Great. And no one told me. Were there some more posts like that over the last months?"

"Umm… yeah. A few more…" Joris admitted and I stormed out of the elevator as soon as the doors opened. As Joris walked in and closed the door I was already sitting on the sofa, looking through Instagram.

"Show me, the accounts, the videos, everything…" I insisted and he shook his head "Joris! Show me!"

"Charles, it won’t help Lizzie at all if you see them, there were really mean ones and she was relieved that you didn’t know about them. So please, don’t look at them now!" Joris pleaded and I looked for it myself, searched for Lizzie’s name as a hashtag, but after a couple of minutes I put my phone down. They were putting her down, bashing her, it wasn’t just a bunch of sexist comments that she’s overrated and compared to "real" drivers she wouldn’t stand a chance, no, there were fan accounts taking everything she was doing apart, the way she dressed, the jokes she made, the way she behaved, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Other’s were comparing her with Camille and how much prettier and well fitting Camille was for me. Which was ridiculous, Camille was pretty, no doubt, but Lizzie’s beautiful, natural, simply gorgeous. And in what way did Lizzie behave wrong? I read through some comments and they were all just nasty.

"So this has been going on for the last year?" I said after I had composed myself.

"Yeah… once I found out about it I confronted her, but you know her! She was playing it down, saying she didn’t care about it. She just wanted me to not tell you about it, because it was a little embarrassing, her words not mine, and she didn’t want you to see that…" Joris sighed.

"This stops now. I will post something." I said and picked up my phone again.

"Charles, don’t do that! These haters will blow up her phone as soon as whatever you’re planning to do is out… she’s away from it all now, she can heal! So let her do that in peace!" he pleaded and I looked at him for a while.

"I hate it when you’re right…" I mumbled and leaned back "She will be okay, right? Lizzie? She will get over all of this bs and… she’ll be the old Lizzie again?” My old Lizzie.

"I think so…" Joris answered and plopped down next to me "It’s going to be good for her, focusing on herself without… without any other thoughts."

"Yeah, she needs that now." I said and nodded. I wanted nothing more than for her to recover, not just physically, but also mentally, because as it seemed there was a lot of damage as well. I was mad at her for not telling me. But on the other hand, it was typical for her, always putting anyone else first before thinking about herself. She was the most selfless person I’ve ever known and most of the time she was this selfless because of me. That’s why it hurt even more reading her post in the evening. I knew that she was playing it down how she felt, but I didn’t know that it was this bad. How couldn’t I see it? How couldn’t I see how bad the last weeks, no the last year, was for her mental health? Maybe I should’ve focused more on her…

"So, have you thought about it?" Camille asked and I looked up at her confused "Us, moving in together?"

"Umm… well, no, not really. Sorry, there’s just so much going on right now, you know? Lizzie, the race tomorrow, the media, I just… I just hadn’t had the time to do so!" I said and Camille rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, we’ll you should focus on the race tomorrow, that’s the only important thing right now…" she sounded mad, I nodded absently and she sighed and got up "I’ll take a shower, you’re coming with me? Charles?"

"Huh? Oh, no, no I gotta go and see Andrea…" I lied and scrambled up.

"Why?" Camille asked.

"I feel a little tense in my shoulder blades, I want him to take a look…" I grabbed my phone and key card "Don’t wait up…" I left the room and leaned against the wall. Why couldn’t she stop talking about moving in together? We’re not even dating for a year!

I pushed the button for the elevator and as the door opened I stepped in without looking.

"Charles? Are you okay?" I looked up at Sebastian "You’re a little pale?"

"Umm… yeah, I just- I just… I don’t even know what to say." I mumbled and leaned against the elevator.

"Where were you going?" he asked me and I shrugged my shoulders "Alright, then I guess you’re coming with me."

The elevator doors opened and we were one floor above mine. I followed Seb and as he opened up the door to his hotel room he gesticulated for me to walk in first.

"Look, Daddy is back!" I heard Hanna say in German as Seb closed the door behind me.

Emilie and Matilda ran up to us but stopped abruptly.

"Girls, say hi to Charles!" Seb said and they smiled at me, both a little shy "Oh come on, you’ve seen him before!" he picked up Matilda and walked further into the room, signaling me to follow him. As we entered the lounge area of his suite Hanna got up from the sofa, carrying little Philipp, and gave me a little side hug.

"Hi Charles, what a pleasant surprise!" she smiled at me and sat back down "Come on, sit down!"

"I don’t want to interrupt or anything!" I said, now I was the one being a little shy.

"Oh no, you’re not interrupting! We’re just watching a movie before the kids go to bed." Hanna said and the girls started to protest.

"Nooo! Can’t we watch another movie?"

"Pleeeeeaaaaseeee!"

"No, we said one movie! And I even got you ice cream!" Seb said and gave the girls each a bowl of ice cream who sat down on the floor at the coffee table, then he sat one bowl down in front of me and Hanna and took the sleeping boy out of his mums arms "I won’t tell anyone, I promise." he winked at me and I laughed.

"Thanks!" I chuckled and took the bowl "So, what are we watching?" I looked at the girls and Matilda looked up.

"Frozen! Do you know it?" she asked me excitedly and I nodded "We just started, so you didn’t miss anything!"

"That’s good! I don’t want to miss all the good parts!" I said and she laughed, then she pressed play.

After a while Emilie got up and plopped down in between her parents and Matilda looked up at the slightly full sofa, she then looked at me and decided to scooch in next to me in the big armchair I occupied. Seb looked over and smiled at me as I was adjusting my arm so the little girl was leaning comfortably on me.

As the end credits rolled, I looked down and Matilda yawned and slowly sat up.

"You’re a nice pillow!" she chuckled a little and I laughed.

"Thank you! I think that is the best compliment I’ve ever got!" I said and she smiled.

"Alright girls, come on, time for bed!" Hanna got up and extended her hands for the girls to take "Say good night to Daddy and Charles. Come on now!" Both girls hugged Seb carefully who gave both his daughters a kiss on the cheek, then Emilie walked up to me.

"Good night, Charles." she whispered, still a little shy.

"Good night, Emilie." I smiled at her and she grabbed her mum's hand.

"Good night, Charlie!" Matilda hugged me and then walked to her mum as well.

"Good night, Matilda!" I laughed and watched them disappear into the attached bedroom.

"I think Emilie has a little crush on you!" Seb chuckled and I blushed a little "She talks a lot about you, when you’re not around, of course." he looked at me for a moment "So, why were you wandering around, looking like you’ve seen a ghost? Not knowing where to go?"

"I needed a bit of time away from… from my girlfriend…" I confessed quietly and he just nodded.

"I get that, sometimes I need a little breather as well, I mean especially now with the kids." he said and I looked up "Yeah, it gets kinda loud at times. I mean, I can’t always bribe them with ice cream and Disney movies."

"Probably not, no!" I laughed.

"So, I need a breather because I have now 3 little monsters running around, you need a breather because of your girlfriend…?" he looked at me and I sighed.

"She’s just a little clingy at the moment and wants us to move in together… but I…" I exhaled deeply, contemplating my next words.

"But you’re in love with Lizzie and you don’t know what to do?" I looked at him with wide eyes "Oh come on, Charles. The way you look at her? Talk about her? The way your face lights up whenever someone else talks about her? How you smile when you’re texting with her? I think the only person on this planet who doesn’t know about your feelings for her is Lizzie herself! And that’s because she’s just as oblivious as you!"

"Is it really that obvious?" I asked and Seb laughed.

"Well kinda. But I’m glad that you at least don’t deny it." he answered and I laughed now.

"I tried to, for years. But no, not anymore…" I said and Seb nodded.

"That’s good, but, with all due respect, why are you dating Camille then? I mean I only talked once with her and she seemed to be nice, but still?" Seb asked and I swallowed hard.

"Lizzie and I are… she’s- umm she’s the most important person for me, she was always by my side and just the sheer thought of losing her? Because she doesn’t feel the same? Or even if she feels the same, it’s not working out somehow? I think, no I know, that I couldn’t survive it!" I explained and Seb looked at me for a while.

"I think it’s clear as day that she loves you as well. But maybe she has the same fears? So I think you should just tell her. And break up with that girlfriend of yours that you’re clearly not loving. It’s not fair to her and for yourself." he said and I nodded slowly.

"Maybe, but for now Lizzie has to focus on herself. She needs to focus on her recovery. I promised her I would do anything to help her get into F1. So she needs to be ready when I finally and miraculously keep that promise." I said determined and Seb nodded.

"Yeah, about that… you don’t know about it from me… but back when I was driving for BMW Sauber, one of the managing engineers there was Felix Bayer. He’s heavily involved in the upcoming Audi F1 team… we stayed in touch over the years. And it looks like we might see them way earlier on the grid than we all thought." Seb was smirking a little.

"Do you think they would consider Lizzie?" I asked excitedly and Seb nodded slowly.

"They want a young driver and an experienced one. And they want one German driver. Do you still have all of your old videos from karting? Perfect. Maybe someone should edit a little application video for Lizzie, highlighting her abilities and strengths. And then maybe someone should send it to Felix…" Seb raised his eyebrows.

"Maybe someone should do that!" I answered.

"She’s already on their radar, but you know, a little advertising never killed anybody." he chuckled.

"She is?" I asked.

"Since last season… but they’re a little worried about her recovery though… I said to Felix that if anyone can do it, then it’s Lizzie." Seb stated and I nodded.

"That is true." I smiled, thinking about our dream of both driving in F1 might be coming true. Finally. "Alright. I leave you to it." I said and got up, as Seb wanted to get up as well I just shook my head "No, stay. He looks so relaxed. Don’t wake him. I’ll find my way out alone." he nodded and leaned back down.

"Good night, Charles. Rest up well for tomorrow!" he said and smiled at me.

"Good night, Seb! You too!" I walked to the door but stopped and turned around "And Seb? Thank you! For everything! I will miss you next season. A lot."

"I’m still on the grid, kiddo, you can always come to me, no matter what!" he said and I smiled.

"Thank you." I left.

P4. Not the worst result. But still no win. Not even a podium. Camille left already and I was sitting in my drivers room. Calming myself down a little. The media was asking me only about Carlos today, how I felt with him being so good as he’s going to be my new team mate. The internet made it only worse. All the comments about how he will dominate me next season, how he will be the clear number 1 driver. That all was still in my head as Lizzie called and I tried my best to hide it from her, I failed, as always. She just knew me too well.

"You shouldn’t look so relieved when your girlfriend tells you she won’t come to the race track because she’s sick?" Andrea said as I hung up with Camille.

"I’m not! It’s just, it’s better like this for her if she’s sick! I don’t want her to come if she’s not feeling well!" I said and Andrea just shook his head.

"Sure, if you say so." he mumbled and waited for me to get back into position "How is Lizzie doing?"

"She’s good. Being in Switzerland seems to really help her…" I answered and he smiled.

"She’s one of the strongest people out there, that’s why you and her are this close!"

"Because she’s so strong?"

"No, because you’re both strong. But I know that she helped you through a lot and I think you and her are good for each other. It’s like you’re soulmates, so yeah…"

"I get it."

"Let’s get you into your car."

I closed my eyes for a moment and focused on the silence as someone tapped on my shoulder.

"Seb?" I was confused.

"Look over in the box!" he said and I turned my head.

Lizzie. Smiling and waving at me. Here in Monza to support me. I smiled and closed the visor.

The whole race I thought about her, how I wanted nothing more than to make her proud so when I jumped out the car after finishing on the podium, I walked over to my team as I saw her standing a bit away from them. I ran up to her, picked her up, hugged her tight to me and twirled her around. She was here because of me. Interrupting her recovery for me. Why was she so perfect.l?

Lizzie and I talked the entire ride back into the alps, JK in the car in front of us stopped in front of a cozy looking house. And I parked next to his car. Lizzie, almost half asleep, got out of the car, stretching a little. She grabbed my hand and pulled me with her.

"Come on, we’re just in time to see the sunrise!" she said and we sat down on the porch. Her head on my shoulder. After a while I heard her breathing even out and realised she fell asleep. I gently picked her up and JK showed me the way to her room where I laid her down, took her shoes and jacket off and tucked her in. I gave her a kiss on the forehead and left her room.

"How is she doing?" I asked JK as I sat down on the sofa and he closed his book.

"She’s doing good, she’s headstrong, that’s good, she really powers through the recovery… at least the physical one." he said and sat up "There is a lot of trauma hidden behind her smile, a lot of anxiety, fear. I need to figure out how I can get that out of her."

"She’s not opening up? I thought you guys were really close?" I asked him and he chuckled.

"We are close, I have to admit, with none of my other patients before I bonded this fast. And she confides in me with a lot of things… but there are things she’s keeping to herself, issues we need to tackle otherwise we won’t progress." he answered.

"How can I help? You want me to try and talk to her?" I offered and JK sighed.

"There is something you can do, please listen to me, you won’t like what I’m about to say, but bear with me, okay? You and Lizzie share more than just a normal bond, it’s more than friendship. Your emotions are almost tied to one another as it seems. In the week after your race in Portimaõ? She was demotivated, in a foul mood, always thinking about you, how you sounded in this message, or on this call… she’s focusing too much on you instead of herself. And that is at her given state suboptimal. And it’s also not really healthy for you, thinking constantly about her recovery instead of focusing on your races!" he explained and I waited for him to continue "What I’m saying is, you both need to focus on yourself. And I think in order to do that, we should restrict your contact, don’t give me that look, please wait, tell her the things she needs to know. I’m back in Maranello, back home, I’m in Turkey now. That’s it. Whatever she’s texting you, don’t reply. No matter how many times she’s calling you. Don’t answer your phone. I know it sounds hard, believe me it will be hard for her when the one person she always confides in, the one person who is the most important one, cuts her out like that. And that’s what I need. l need her to break. As soon as she lets all the negativity and thoughts that consume her right now go, I will be able to help her mentally as well. But she has to open up. And she’s not doing it on her own, so I have to push her. And this is the fastest way."

"You want me to ghost her? To cut her out completely? She will not just break, JK! She will be devastated! She will hate me! I can’t do that to her! I can’t hurt her like that!" I was shocked by what he asked me to do.

"She won’t hate you! As soon as she’s accepting that we need to do more for her mental health and we’re making progress in this direction, I will tell her the truth! She will be mad, definitely, but she loves you, Charles. She could never hate you! Think about it!" JK got up and left me alone with my thoughts.

Was he right? Was this the way to help her? By breaking her heart? By ghosting her? It will kill me to not be able to talk to her, but this isn’t about me, it’s about Lizzie. And if JK thinks this is the way to help her, then I would do it. I would do everything for her, just how she would do everything for me.

After we took a long walk, we picked up some groceries from a little store in the village and some kids recognised us, it was sweet that they also knew Lizzie and showed her nothing but love, after the comments in the media over the last months this must’ve been a good feeling for her and I was more than happy to take pictures with her and the kids.

"They loved you, ma belle!" I smiled at her as we walked back to the house and saw how her cheeks were turning slightly pink.

"I think they were more interested in you, but they were sweet anyways!" she said and I pulled her into my side.

"They asked you first if you are who they think you are! So I’d say they were quite happy meeting you!" I said and Lizzie just laughed a little.

"Whatever!" she mumbled and the rest of the way we were walking in silence.

JK left me and Lizzie in charge of the toppings and took care of the fire and the dough and after some time geh air was filled with the smell of fire, dough and fresh tomatoes. I didn’t know if it was the pizza itself, the fresh mountain air or Lizzie’s presence, but the pizza tasted better than any pizza I had before. According to Lizzie she felt the same, although she wasn’t showing her appreciation by eating the pizza. I’ve seen in the last weeks that she was eating not much, or sometimes even nothing, but she always said it’s because of the medication she was taking. As JK left, he signaled her to eat more and she just sighed, grabbing another slice although not eating it. Her answer to my question was almost the same as always before, not really hungry, the medications, always full because of JKs superfoods. I knew she was only trying to change the topic when she joked about pineapple on her pizza, but I jumped right in there, asking her if there was something wrong with her brain. The second the words had left my mouth, I regretted them, I apologised, but she wouldn’t let me, saying it was okay, which it wasn’t. How could I say something like this? How stupid was I? After that video? I must’ve hurt her but she hid it, like she always did.

But this time it was different. Usually she would make a bad joke and laugh it off. This time she shushed me with a finger on my lips, looking me deep in the eyes.

"Shhh… stop, please! Stop apologising. It’s fine. I’m fine. Okay?" I nodded slowly, mesmerised by her natural beauty, her eyes sparkling, left index finger still on my lips, right hand on my cheek. So close I could see the grey swirls in her stormy blue eyes. I put one hand on her hip, the other covering hers on my cheek. I closed my eyes, swallowing hard. Every fibre in my body aching for her, screaming at me to finally kiss her, to finally make her mine. I opened my eyes and leaned in closer.

"Good night guys." JK’s voice made us both flinch and pull away from each other. I cleared my throat, feeling the heat rising up my chest into my cheeks, I ruffled my hair looking at her.

"It’s getting late? I think I’ll take a long shower and then go to bed!" she said and yawned.

"Yeah, you go showering, I’ll take care of the dishes!" I nodded and grabbed our plates and glasses and then walked away, at the door I turned around "I’ll put your pizza in the fridge!" I watched her get up and walk inside. My heart was racing. I almost kissed her. And it felt right. Every second of it felt right. My body was craving her. My mind was craving her. It felt so fucking right. But it wasn’t. I wasn’t right. She wouldn’t be so shocked and awkward if it felt right for her as well. I sighed and washed the dishes. I put some cling film over Lizzie’s pizza and put it in the fridge. I leaned against the counter and took a deep breath. Something like this couldn’t happen again. I stood there for another minute as my phone vibrated. Camille. She was the last person I wanted to talk to right now. What I was doing to her wasn’t fair. I should at least try and give her all my love and dedication, like she did to me. But I just couldn’t. It wasn’t her face I wanted to see, waking up in the morning. It wasn’t her I was thinking of before I fell asleep at night. And it certainly wasn’t her I wanted to kiss after a good race. But she was happy. Hurting her just because I am an idiot? That didn’t feel right. But the plan I had, falling in love with her over the course of the last months, forgetting the feelings for Lizzie, didn’t work. Not even in the slightest, a couple of minutes ago clearly showed that. But what else could I do? At least having Camille as girlfriend stopped all of social media to paint me and Lizzie as the perfect couple. Lovers. The questions about us stopped almost completely. That was good. Lizzie thought I was in love with Camille, so she wouldn’t get suspicious, that was good as well. And Camille was happy. She loved the attention she was getting, loved that some brands reached out to her, gifting her designer clothes, jewelry, hand bags. Getting a big Instagram following. At least she got something positive, if I couldn’t love her the way she deserved it. Maybe JK was right. I had to detach myself from Lizzie for some time, not just for her sake, also for mine. My phone vibrated again, this time it was a message from Seb, checking in on how we were doing. I replied to him that we’re alright and walked back into my room. I hoped that tomorrow, Lizzie and I wouldn’t think about what almost happened between us.

"That lake was freezing!" I said as we walked back up to the house and Lizzie next to me only chuckled. What happened last night thankfully didn’t make things awkward.

"You get used to it after some time!" she said and as she took her next step she slipped slightly but before I could react JK held her to his side and she smiled at him "Thanks." she laughed as JK only smiled back and held her close to his side the whole way back.

"Hot shower and then some tea and lunch, I have a new flavour." JK said and Lizzie looked up at him.

"Please no more ginger!" she almost pleaded and JK only laughed.

"Oh come on! It’s healthy!" he laughed and Lizzie just groaned as we stepped on the porch and JK took our wet towels and hung them over the banister and Lizzie and I took off our shoes.

"Oh wait, here you go, princess." JK pulled down her zipper as he walked past her as if it’s the most normal thing to do, it almost seemed natural how he did it. And did he call her princess? I’ve seen that they’ve become really close, but what was going on here? It’s highly unprofessional to flirt with your patient or your therapist. Was it just flirting?

"Charles? You good there bruh?" JK asked and I realised that Lizzie was gone as I looked around "She’s under the shower. Come on, let's get ready for lunch." and with that he walked inside.

Was there something going on between them? And for how long now? I walked in and went to my room as I noticed the door to Lizzie��s room was open, just a crack. I walked past it as I heard JKs voice and I stopped dead in my tracks. I couldn’t help but to spare a glance inside, just to see Lizzie, only with a towel covering her front, standing in front of JK, back turned to him and he was gently stroking her back. I swallowed hard and quietly left. Back in my room I went straight into the shower, getting rid of the wetsuit and standing under the hot water stream. It only made sense that they would start to feel more than just a normal patient/therapist bond. They lived together in this truly romantic place with no TV, bad wifi and almost no service. They only had each other. I wanted Lizzie to be happy, that it was with her therapist, well I guess at least he’s a decent guy. I turned off the water and got out. Dressing up and then checking my phone, 7 missed calls from Camille. I sighed. Lizzie is happy. JK‘s a great guy. I had a girlfriend. It all was good. One last moment to relinquish in the silence and then I called Camille. Feeling absolutely nothing but jealousy.

Leaving her didn’t feel right. Leaving her knowing I wouldn’t be able to call and text her felt worse. The whole drive back to Maranello I thought about Lizzie and JK, I even asked myself if he only wanted me to stop contacting her because he felt threatened by me? Ridiculous. No. I had to trust him on this one. He will focus on Lizzie. I will focus on myself. That was all I could do for now.

Reading all her messages was truly heartbreaking and I hated myself whenever I just swiped them away. Ignoring her calls when I knew that she was probably almost in tears because I didn’t pick up after her sadder getting messages. But I promised JK I wouldn’t contact her, only giving her a head up whenever I traveled somewhere. I was fully focused on my races now. Ignoring Camille mostly, trying to get as much distance between us as possible. I had to figure out how I could break up with her, without breaking her heart. I dreaded it. I tried to keep myself busy, stayed in Maranello and tried to talk to her as little as possible. I was shocked when she stood in front of me in Turkey after the race, hugging me, taking my hand in hers and walking with me back into the Ferrari hospitality.

"I missed you, so I thought, I’d surprise you!" she almost yelled and I forced myself to smile at her.

The next week I spent in Maranello, before I returned home for the weekend to prepare for the last stint of the season. Camille would be gone for the next 3 weeks, a girls trip with her best friends to Mexico and I was more than happy about it. At least like this I didn’t have to feel guilty all the time for not breaking up with her already.

I was just boarding my plane to Bahrain, as my phone buzzed. Lizzie. I wanted to swipe the message away, as I saw the first words of the message: JK told me. I’m not mad… I swallowed and opened the message as soon as I sat down. JK told her everything. She wasn’t mad, she understood, but she was still hurt, especially that it seemed to be so easy for me to cut her out like this. I immediately sent her an answer that it wasn’t easy at all, that it broke my heart reading her desperate messages and not being able to respond. I told her how sorry I was but I just wanted to help her and JK said this was the right way. Before I could wait for an answer I had to switch off my phone. As soon as I landed and switched it on I checked my messages. Nothing. Now she was the one ghosting me.

"What do you mean, you’re not coming home after the last race?" Camille sounded annoyed.

"I’ll have to stay for some tests for the new season, also some tyre tests…" I began but Camille just scoffed.

"Okay, that doesn’t explain why you’re not here until one day before New Year’s Eve?" her voice sounded harsh.

"Camille, I’ll stay here until the 17th, then I fly to Maranello for some simulator work and then I’m celebrating Christmas with my family…" and she interrupted me again.

"And why can’t I celebrate with your family as well? I’m your girlfriend? Why can’t I come wherever you’re celebrating?" she almost shouted.

"Because I can’t invite you to someone else’s home! It’s just a small gathering. We’re not renting out a huge house somewhere! We’re staying at someone’s home." I tried to explain.

"Someone’s home? You’re kidding me, right? You’re fucking kidding me! You go to Lizzie! You’re celebrating our first Christmas together with Lizzie instead of me!" now she was really furious "I can’t believe you! I’m your girlfriend! If you don’t want to stay here and celebrate at home, you should at least invite me! But no! Not when you’re going to Saint Lizzie! I was by your side and supported you last year! Not her! But fine! Celebrate with your holy Lizzie!" and then she hung up. Problem solved. For now.

The last race was done, P13, the tests were done. Tyre tests as well. I made my way to Maranello for some final simulator tests before I would head to Ludwigsburg on Sunday. I was coming back from a break as I heard two Ferrari employees speak about Lizzie being removed from the FDA. I was confused, I knocked on Mattia’s office but he wasn’t inside. One of his assistants told me he was in one of the conference rooms with some Ferrari officials. I thanked her and walked to the conference rooms and glanced through the glass door. Mattia, Massimo Rivola and some officials whose names I didn’t know sat there, discussing something. I knocked and Mattia looked up. He nodded and I stepped in.

"Charles, how can I help you?" he asked and I looked between him and Massimo.

"Is it true?" I asked and Mattia and Massimo exchanged some very guilty looks "You’re kicking Lizzie out of the FDA?"

"Charles, listen, it’s not that easy…" began Massimo but I interrupted him.

"What did she do wrong?" I asked.

"She didn’t do anything wrong, Charles. It’s just that we have only a limited number of spots within the FDA and it’s unfair for the other talented drivers if a spot is taken up by someone who isn’t driving anymore!" Massimo explained.

"But when she comes back and starts driving again? Who will support her then?"

"You mean if she’s driving again?"

"No, when! She’s working so hard on it! She will return and then she will need support and help to get back in! No one will let her drive for them if you drop her!" I had to refrain myself from yelling.

"Charles, we know this means a lot to you. But at the moment, this can’t be our concern anymore." Massimo sighed.

"Can’t be your concern anymore? She almost died! She didn’t do anything wrong! She won 2 championships under your wing! She always highlighted how great you are and how loved and supported she felt! But you just… you just drop her like she’s worth nothing!" I was furious but also desperate, they couldn’t do this to Lizzie.

"We’re sorry, Charles. But the decision is made. The statement will be released in the next hour." Massimo said, his words final.

"Who told her about it?" I asked after a moment.

No answer, only more guilty looks.

"You didn’t even tell her? There will be a statement out and she knows nothing? What the fuck?!" this time I shouted at him and Mattia got up.

"Charles, you're upset, I understand you. We all love Lizzie! But this is business. We have to do what’s best for Ferrari. Please understand. Go now, go home and have a nice winter break. No, Charles. This decision is final." Mattia tried to calm me down.

"Don’t release the statement. Not yet. I’ll see her tomorrow. Let me tell her before she has to find it out through a statement." I pleaded.

"We have an email ready that we wanted to send out before the statement will be released…" Massimo said and I nodded.

"Send it tomorrow in the afternoon, I’ll talk to her before then…" I said and Massimo and Mattia nodded "Merry Christmas." I left the room and walked straight out of the factory. I took a deep breath and got in the car. I decided to leave immediately. The faster I’m leaving, the faster I‘ll be there.

Ludwigsburg. The first time after we left for Monaco she would be home again. The first time in months I would see her family again. And the first time I would see Lizzie again, after our almost kiss. I was nervous. How do you tell your best friend, that you just ghosted for weeks, that she got kicked out of the FDA, because they couldn’t keep her in, occupying a spot without driving for them.

Merry fucking Christmas.

————————————————————————

Little Note:

That's it, chapter 10 is out - writing a whole chapter out of Charles POV was really fun!

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic @ru-kru

All the images I’m using are from Google, Pinterest and Instagram.

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ghost-guard-13 · 5 months ago

Text

You Have My Sentiment, My Affections, and My Every Reguard

Sherlock Holmes x John Watson

Summary: Sherlock realizes he is in love with John, so he distances himself because surely he wouldn't feel the same-

John isn't having any of it.

Sherlock had come to the dreadful conclusion that he loved John Watson.

And if that wasn't bad enough, he'd deduced that he was also in love with him.

He'd carried sentiment for people before of course. An awful, taxing thing that made sure he'd pay the price. And he did, time and time again. He'd felt affection and fondness towards them as well, a strange twist in his gut different from when he was ill or everything about himself just felt wrong for even just a few hours. But never before had he felt this thundering, fluttering, blustering stutter of his heart every time John so much as looked his way or did anything even slightly endearing.

So, as he was taught to do by Mycroft and encouraged by himself, he began distancing himself. He quieted himself around the man, making excuses to leave the room or ignore him completely.

And John, the brilliant, wonderful man that he was, was catching on.

At first he just chalked it up to one of Sherlock's silent periods where he didn't see the point in talking or physically couldn't for hours - sometimes days - on end. But it had been two weeks of minimal interactions and snapping responses his flatmate usually only reserved for the folks at Scotland Yard.

So John began to wonder if he'd done something wrong, rubbed Sherlock the wrong way, came on too forward - which he wasn't sure was possible, with how oblivious the man was to normal social cues.

It only got worse when they were on a case. Sherlock would put effort into avoiding John, constantly keeping himself in check and trying to stay guarded. When he would begin his usual enthusiastic ranting, he would catch himself in the middle of a word and pinch his lips closed, looking away from him before finishing his thought with a final few words. Those words usually being "nevermind" or "ignore me".

And so here they are, one month after Sherlock's revelation, standing on opposite ends of their flat at 221B Baker Street and bickering like feral cats. Or an old married couple. Take your pick.

"What is your problem? Have I done something wrong? What was it?" John asked, desperately searching for an answer.

Sherlock had distanced himself behind a dining room chair, eyes darting around the room and fingers digging into the wooden back before twitching and flexing, repeating the process in his distress.

"Not a problem John. No problem. Why would there be an issue?"

"Well obviously there is!"

"It's fine John. Really, it's nothing."

"Sherlock-"

"It's nothing!" The man insisted irritably, rocking back and forth from behind the chair, eyes trained down and away, burying the urge to begin pacing because that could lead him closer to John and he wasn't sure what would happen if he did. His gaze flicked from his chemicals sitting on the counter to the rain pounding on the flats window, the repetitive sound both grounding him and setting him even more on edge. But he kept his eyes away. Anywhere that wasn't John's glistening blue eyes that always struck Sherlock Holmes in a trance.

"It's not nothing! You've been ignoring me and pushing me away! You're shutting yourself off and at this point being plain cruel! I tried to give you space but it's getting ridiculous!"

Sherlock bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from apologizing and explaining and exposing his disgusting desires.

"I'm your friend, mate, you can tell me anything." John coaxed after another minute of silence, seeing as he wasn't getting anywhere.

"I can't." He blurted, slightly quieter but just as insistent as his previous outburst.

John stopped short, hurt and desperation clawing behind his eyes.

"What do you mean you ca-"

"I just can't! I can't- I can't-"

Sherlock was working himself into a meltdown, his shouts turning into a stuttered mumble as he stared at his hands, his rocking much more obvious now, going from his heels to his toes, one hand leaving the back of the chair to bury itself painfully in his disheveled curls.

"Can't what, mate?" John asked softly, taking the gamble and slowly beginning to approach Sherlock. "Sherlock it's alright, I promise I won't get-"

"Hm, you can't promise. You can't promise not to be mad, not about this."

John's veins felt frozen over.

"What do you mean? Sherlock what did you do?"

"I didn't though! I didn't and I won't and I can't, I can't, I can't-"

"Sherlock," John tried to sooth as he would a child, voice calm and soft despite the tightness in his throat, the worry strangling his lungs. "I promise. You can tell me. What can't you do?"

Sherlock had surrendered his chanting to simply shaking his head aggressively, neck curved where he pushed his chin into his chest, eyes squeezed shut in a poor attempt to leave this conversation behind.

John wasn't giving up so easily.

Pushing himself from the spot he had rooted himself to when noticing that Sherlock was distancing himself in the beginning of the evening, John took long, deliberate steps towards the consulting detective, putting effort in making his expression calm.

"Sherlock." He called out again, now just on the other side of the table, standing behind a dining chair of his own. His friend just shook his head. "Sherlock, please." He allowed vulnerability in his voice, let the tears stinging the back of his eyes well forward but remain unshed. He allowed it because it hurt and he needed Sherlock to know he cared.

"Please, just open your eyes at least. Please, just look at me." As if physically commanded to do so, Sherlock opened his eyes, peering up at John with tears gathering at the edges of his lashes, but not one was permitted to fall. The tactic of being aloof in the beginning of their growing argument had fallen long ago, now replaced by nothing but fear and hurt.

It took John off guard, because his friend was usually so good at hiding his emotions, so insistent that he didn't even have any to begin with. A 'high functioning sociopath' as he called himself. But John had seen sociopaths, worked with them, and he knew that Sherlock was far, far from being one. He knew that Sherlock felt so much and felt so deeply, but wouldn't ever admit it. Wouldn't let himself acknowledge this because it wasn't important.

John wanted to call bullshit.

"Sherlock, whatever it is, I won't be mad. I care about you so much. You're my best friend, mate. Whatever it is, you can tell me. Anything at all." John took a moment to steel himself, breathing deeply through his nose. "Sherlock, what can't you-"

"I can't stop thinking about you!"

And then it was like someone had stolen the breath straight from his lungs, his brain going just a bit fuzzy.

"I can't stop thinking about how selfless you are, or how careless you can be with your own life. I can't stop thinking about how much you care, or how good you are, or just how hard you try. I can't stop thinking about how brilliant you are John. How smart and clever and quick you are. You're so strong and determined and kind and it's frankly overwhelming." Sherlocks voice broke away then, his eyes darting across the room, knuckles white against the wood. But now that he'd started, he couldn't seem to stop.

"John, you are just so good, and- and I hold your opinion very dearly. You are quite literally the only person I can stand having around every hour of every day. You don't bore me, you don't aggrivate me, and somehow, for some reason, you've stayed. You've stayed through all of my moods and unsavory tendencies. You've helped me on cases when literal detectives are just as useless as civilians with zero experience. You've helped me when no one else would have bothered. You- you've never given up on me.

"Even now- this last month, today, I've treated you horribly and still you- you stayed. You gave me space because you know I have a tendency to to ignore everything and everyone around me. But you kept trying and I just kept pushing you away but you didn't leave. You stayed and you fought and you demanded answers and- and I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, John. I haven't been able to stop thinking about how much I love you."

The tears had fallen by this point. The tears had fallen a long time ago, tracking down both of their cheeks, irritating both of their eyes and suffocating both of their chests.

John stood at a loss for words, just as many questions being answered as they were appearing in Sherlock's head. His mouth was agape, mind grasping for at least one of his racing thoughts so he didn't have to watch his friends growing hurt and regret appear before his very eyes.

Because he wasn't just his friend. He wasn't just his best friend and flatmate and coworker. Sherlock was a brilliant man that meant the world to him. He was blunt and sarcastic and felt too much but showed too little and didn't care how others felt about him but cared so much what John thought. Cared so much how John felt, how he worked, and relied on him to explained metaphors he didn't understand and pick up on cues he couldn't deduce and to get a second opinion when John replaced his human skull on the mantal that fateful day he decided to agree to a flatmate.

Most of all, Sherlock was his family. He was like a second half, his soulmate, if he were to believe in such things. Sherlock Holmes was John Watson's everything.

And John Watsons everything was currently shrinking in on himself and drawing his own conclusions because he still hasn't said anything.

Heart clenching with guilt, John finally found the strength to move his feet, because for the life of him he couldn't form a coherent thought, and surged towards Sherlocks end of the table. The man had gone from watching his every move to clenching his eyes shut and bowing his head to the table, and John regretted taking so long to respond.

He was by the detectives side in the next second, hands sliding to his shoulders and rubbing circles on the sides of his neck with his thumbs. Sherlock startled, but didn't pull away, shimmering eyes rimmed with red and tears as they finally looked into his own. His breath caught, muscles tensing under the doctor's fingers, waiting, watching, questions clear in his tear-smudged expression.

John trailed his thumbs up Sherlock's long neck and settled his palms against his cheeks, holding him there, swiping the tears away as he brought his forehead to meet his, observing Sherlock from beneath his lashes with an earnest gaze.

"Sherlock, you stupid, brilliant man." He murmured before bringing his lips to his.

At first it was just the press of his lips on his, just the thought of being there, just the notion that his feelings weren't unreciprocated. John's whole body thrummed with the feeling of Sherlock so close, so pliant in his hands as he melted into John's touch, so awkward but eager as he moving his mouth clumsily along with his.

John pulled away just barely, breathing hard as he heart raced from the slight contact. He didn't move far, and opened his eyes only a little to stare into Sherlock's own.

"Sherlock Holmes, I am completely and utterly in love with you." He confessed breathlessly, taking joy in the way his eyes widened and his lips broke into a grin he hadn't seen since before this agonizing month began. He couldn't help it, he pecked a kiss on his nose, earning an adorable squeak of objection from the man. "And I will pull you back as many times as I need to." He kissed his forehead. "As long as you'll let me."

"Okay." Was all he managed to say, before being kissed senseless by the ex-army doctor. John took his time, expressing the truth of his words through his actions, persistent in his love and care for the detective as he held him, the taller man grasping at the hair at the nape of his neck and his good shoulder for purchase.

They stayed like that until their lungs burned, until they couldn't bear another second without oxygen's aid, and broke away panting, still holding each other, still watching each other, still professing their love even as the rain pounding outside filled the silence.

"I love you." John felt the need to say.

"I love you." Sherlock whispered, fear turning into hope, hurt turning into adoration, his words turning into their third kiss.

I love you, was said and left unsaid many times that night. As it would continue to be.

#sherlock bbc #sherlock holmes #john watson #sherlock x john #john x sherlock #johnlock #gay #happy pride #pride month #slight angst #love confessions #we love to see it #idiots in love #but theyre our idiots #fanfiction #my fanfiction #sherlock fanfic

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writersblockiskillingme · 2 years ago

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Timezone | Damiano David

Pairing: Damiano David x female!reader

Summary: As Damiano and you are forced to be apart, you both slowly start to feel like you're loosing your mind.

Warning/s: Language (maybe like one curse word that is repeated two to three times), mention of smut (but not explicit), Google translate

Author's note: Here is another Damiano song imagine I hope you like it. I might make one with Thomas Raggi very soon 🤫

You're wearing my old clothes, but you, you wear it better

And every time I sew your face, the moon should be jealous

And I keep talking to the wall 'til he's a friend of mine

I call you every hour just to tell you that I'm loosing my mind

Now I know you're sleeping

Where I'm supposed to be in

Wish I could've stayed

Damiano has had enough. The fame felt too much and the videocalls, phone calls and messages weren't enough anymore. He was practically pulling his hair out as he continued to mindlessly walk around his hotel room. His completely empty hotel room. He looked at his perfectly made bed and at his perfectly sorted out clothes in the closet and Damiano was finally, officially done. He couldn't take this torture anymore.

He strolled mindlessly to the big window of his hotel room as his eyes roamed around the busy streets of LA. People were rushing everywhere and Damiano realized that they were completely obvious to his suffering. He thought it was unfair.

He roughly ripped the cigarette out of the back pocket of his jeans. As he went to light up the cigarette it begin to accur to him that sun was still shining brightly in the middle of the sky. He realized that the moon must be keeping company to his beloved. Not that you were probably enjoying the darkness that the moon swept in, he thought. You must be still deep in your sleep considering the fact that it was probably middle of the night where you were right now. As Damiano opened the window and stepped onto the balcony he let himself enjoy the bright rays of sunshine on his bare back. He blew the smoke out of his mouth and looked towards the sun. It was shining so bright that Damiano was pretty sure that it was mocking him. He knew that it was mocking him. The sun was pure reflection of his life right now. It was shining on him so brightly, but it also reminded him that you are not in the same position as he is right now. He was covered in sunshine yet you were bathing in moonlight. It wasn't fair.

With a sigh, he threw away the cigarette and returned to the room closing the window behind him. Empty room remained him not only of you, but also that his band mates were out right now. Damiano was pretty sure that they went out partly because of his constant whining about not being able to do more that to just see your gorgeous face over FaceTime. It wasn't his fault that he was whining about it constantly, he thought. Those calls were sometimes quite impractical, anyways. For one, he couldn't touch you. He could only watch your beauty from far away. He couldn't smell your sweet scent. Your shampoo. Your perfume that he sometimes liked to steel away just so that he could smell like you (it was fine you did it with his perfume, too). He knew that Vic, Thomas and Ethan were practically sick of him now because he was talking so much about you. Ethan thought that he looked like a tortured puppy whenever Damiano mentioned how much he misses you. You were talking to everyone on the band, too and Ethan knew that you were like that, too.

In fact, everyone got so worried for you two because as time went by and you two spend much more time away from one another it looked like you both started to not take as much care for your well-beings as you did before. Everyone saw how much this long distance affected both Damiano and you. Thomas barely stopped Vic from buying Damiano tickets back to Italy (you moved there with him) one hour before the show so he could see you.

Damiano was done. But he couldn't help himself. He just kept calling you when the moon is shining in LA, when some people were asleep like dead and some people were partying until they die. He just wanted to hear your voice yet he knew that everytime he calls you, you can hear desperation in his rough voice. Damiano was very well aware that he was slowly loosing his mind. Especially when it was night where you were and you were deep in your sleep. He didn't want to disturb you, so he somehow managed to gain some self control and not call you then. It was all right, though. You were loosing your mind, too.

He took one more look at his perfectly made up bed and knew what was missing.

If you two weren't apart, you would be sprawled out on the bed, bare back facing the door, hair messed up, face pressing into the pillows, deep in sleep after the passionate activities that him and you took part in the night before. His whole hotel room was mocking him. He knew that very well. All this torture... it took everything in his willpower to not run to the airport and never let you go from his arms.

Only thing that keeps us apart

Is seven thousand miles, running like a mad dog

Only thing that keeps us apart

Is a different timezone

So fuck that I'm dreaming, this fame has no meaning

I'm coming home

Only thing that keeps us apart

Is a different timezone

"So how is the tour going?" Your slightly raspy voice asked him.

It was an early morning in Italy and you just woke up from your slumber. In fact, you were still in bed. On the other hand, Damiano has been awake for hours. It was still dark outside and he put his laptop outside on the balcony on the fresh LA air. God knows he needs it.

"It's good." Damiano told you. "It's good..." He repeated slowly as he finally blew out another little cloud of smoke from yet another cigarette.

The way he repeated his answer seemed like he was just trying to convince himself that everything was perfect, that everything was just the way he imagined it to be. But you knew better. You knew he was hiding something and you were pretty sure that you could guess what it was.

"What is wrong, amore?" You asked him and for a moment, when Damiano looked back from the night sky to the screen, he felt himself freeze.

He knows that you are beautiful, but the way that you smiled sadly at him and the way that one piece of your hair fell in front of your eyes, he was once again hit with the feeling of loneliness. It painted him greatly because even though he can se your breathing smile and hear your melodic voice, it wasn't the same. You weren't really there with him. For a bare moment he didn't say anything, you figured that that would happen. So you went on.

"I know when something is wrong." You told him and he started to deeply stare in your eyes, you felt like he was staring into your soul. It was truly curious considering the fact that you had a videocall. "Your eyes start to drop in a certain way. They get more serious." You continued, your voice softening with every word you said and he noticed that. He always does. Just like you always do, too.

"The tour is going amazing. Vic, Tom and Ethan are amazing like always. But you know what is wrong." Damiano took another hit from the cigarette and quickly blew another cloud of smoke out of his mouth. He started to smoke more. You noticed that fact after your 50th call this week. He started to smoke more then he usually does and you could partly guess why.

"You're right. I do know." You sighed as you rubbed your hands over your face. In return, he turned his concerned eyes back to you. "It's killing me, too. I feel like I can't do it anymore either." You admitted to him. He let his hand run through this hair as he put out the cigarette with his other hand. You could just watch how he smashed it in the ashtray angrily.

"I miss you so much it hurts." Damiano heard himself admit this to you for like the millionth time today. "I just want you to be back in my arms. I can't fucking do this anymore. I don't want to."

"Me neither."

Tomorrow I got another plane, I'm not gonna take it

Instead, I'm gonna fly straight to you, I'll pay double for the tickets

And I don't give a shit about the contracts that I signed

And they can say whatever, we'll be making love, I'm fucking you tonight

Now I know you're sleeping

Where I'm supposed to be in

Wish I could've stayed

Victoria, Thomas and Ethan watched Damiano with great concern as he continued to practically pull his hair out. Their manager just told them that they have to stay in LA for one more month. Not one more day. Not one more week. One more MONTH. Måneskin was supposed to leave in three days back to Italy, but the plan changed. This news added the fuel to the fire that was already actively burning. And that was enough for Damiano finally explode. The rest of the band barely stopped Damiano from nearly ripping the manager's head right of off his shoulders. Don't get him wrong. Damiano loved this tour and he loves his band more than anything. But he was supposed to finally go back in your arms and he was pretty sure that he never wanted to leave them, but his plans and hopes were now officially crushed, burned to the ground.

"Questo è tutto! Me ne sto andando! Non mi interessa nemmeno più questo. Voglio solo vederla per almeno un giorno." ["That's it! I'm leaving! I don't even care about this anymore. I just want to see her for at least a day."] He yelled out and Vic jumped up to her feet before she gave him a bone crushing hug. "Non posso più farlo, cazzo." ["I can't fucking do this anymore."] Damiano whispered as he gripped on Vic's hair. Victoria let her hand run down his back as she hugged him tightly. It painted her to see one of her best friends in this state. Suddenly, she let go of her, gripped Damiano's shoulders as she started to yell, too.

"Che cazzo stai aspettando?! Vai a trovarla per un giorno e dille che ci siamo salutati!" ["What the fuck are you waiting for?! Go and see her for a day and tell her that we said hello!"] Damiano looked at her in shock as Thomas and Ethan joined them, nodding.

"Sì! Amico, smettila di deprimerti e vai dalla tua signora." ["Yeah! Dude, stop moping around and go see your lady."] Thomas said. Thomas' confirmation along with Victoria's and Ethan's nodding was enough for Damiano to turn the entire hotel room upside down.

He pulled out his suitcase out of nowhere and started to pack. He was moving so fast and so much that the rest of the band thought that he's going to give them a headache. The point is, he didn't care what he put in in his suitcase. He packed just a few essential stuff, anyways. His mind was already with her, back in Italy, and it was the only thing that was important to him. It was safe to say that he was in and out before anyone could say anything else. And so, with one group hug and quickly exchanged "good bye"s and "have a safe flight"s, Damiano was off.

Practically running down the hall so he could get to the elevator and out of the hotel. He ran out on the busy street of LA and somehow managed to get a cab very quickly. He was extremely excited and kind of nervous. Damiano figured that he simply couldn't wait to get to the airport. The moment that the cab stopped, Damiano practically threw the cash at the driver and ran inside the airport, his suitcase stumbling behind him. Once he finally got into his flight he slumped down on his seat. He just couldn't wait do be home. And the waiting really paid off.

Damiano felt like his heart was going to burst its way out of his chest as he took a look at the building of your shared apartment. The flight was too long and he was just happy to be back. He knocked on the door after he went up the stairs and he was suddenly face to face with your sleepy eyes and your bright smile when you saw who was knocking on the door. Before any of you could get a word out you brought one another into a bone crushing hug. You started to cry in each other's embrace. You missed the way his arms were wrapped around you, you missed the way he always sounded so breathless when he joyfully laughed, you missed the way his eyes were shining, you missed him. He missed the way you smelled like the sweetest candy the way your eyes stared deep into his soul, he missed the feeling of your skin, he missed the beating of your heart. He missed you, too.

"You're home." You let out a soft sob as you hid your face in his shoulder, gripping on him tightly. You felt his arms tighten around you, too afraid to let you go, too afraid that either of you is going to dissappear.

"I am home. At last."

TAGLIST

@opal-rugger

JOIN THE TAGLIST HERE!!

#Spotify #maneskin fanfiction #damiano david x reader #maneskin x reader #thomas raggi #maneskin imagine #damiano david #ethan torchio #victoria de angelis #imagine #maneskin #damiano david x you #damiano david imagine #timezone #songfic

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lfc21 · 2 years ago

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Winter wonderland - day 14

TW: Fluff,

Summary: winter wonderland seemed like the place to be! So the only way to find out was to visit whilst also taking full use of winning prizes.

Winter wonderland was the place to be. It had glistening Christmas lights and an indulgent smell of perfectly made desserts. London had always been known for holding the most incredible events such as Winter wonderland. Since being with Trent it had always been your dream to go and experience Christmas in London even for just a Weekend. Oxford Street was alive with festive smiles and herds of designer shopping bags and the fields of Hyde Park were laced with bright rides and huge crowds with an electric atmosphere.

The day had finally come! The day when you could enjoy the wonders of the events of the season.

"Oh my god Trent" you quickly said in amazement as you looked around the large groups of people and up at the bright rides and fun games. Theme parks and amusement activities were never a date idea you and Trent ever thought about but you where so wrong.

"This looks so good," he said back to you with a laugh as he wondered why you had never visited the event before. You walked hand in hand through the windy sections of the park noticing smiling faces and loud cheers.

"What should we do first?" You asked as you started to realise you were walking with not much of a direction. Trent's eyes scanned his vicinity until stopping on a stall full of teddies.

"I need to win you one babe" he explained as he quickly walked towards the stall whilst dragging your arm along with him. You stood behind him as he exchanged money with the other man operating the game. He got given the 5 bean bags and began to hope that he would at least get one. As he threw each one they all seemed to knock at least 1 tin can over each. You looked at the action in astonishment knowing all those times in training were paying off for more than just football.

"Wow," you said with a laugh as you looked over at your surprised boyfriend who styled the same face as yourself.

"Well that was good," Trent said with a laugh as he joined in your giggles. His hands ran through his hair as casually as possible making him look like it was his day job to win at fairground games in a matter of seconds.

"Mate your Well good!" The man behind the counter said with a laugh as he passed Trent the large Teddy bear with a surprised look on his face.

"Cheers lad! I'm just good at throw-ins that's all" trent explained with a smug smile as he took the Teddy and you both got on your way. The man's face quickly realised who it was he had just spoken to and you watched his eyes light up in amazement.

"What should we name him?" you asked as you both held each arm of the bear and walked with it in the middle of you both.

"Hmm, hard question" Trent pointed out with a laugh. "What about Andy?" He asked with raised eyebrows and a laugh as he knew exactly what you would be thinking.

"Andy?" You question back with even higher eyebrows as you tried to make your way through the large crowds.

"Yeah like Andy rob-" Trent started

"Yes I know" you quickly interrupted with a laugh as you knew you couldn't get in between him and his best friend. "Little Andy then" you said as you looked down at the rather large bear trent had won you.

"Little? I think it's bigger than me" trent said as he motioned towards the large hot chocolate stall. "I need something to warm me up" he explained with a laugh as he sat down with a thud on the small bench and gave you a look of fondness as he saw you holding the Teddy which was now called Andy.

"I love him," you said as you hugged the bear with a laugh as you stood directly in front of Trent. The cold weather held a cute persona around your body and sent a red glow to your nose.

"Let me get a picture" Trent ordered with a huge grin as he took his cold hands and took a picture of the memorable moment he was face to face with. He posted the photo onto his Instagram stories with the caption "meet Andy!". You both had a feeling of the Christmas spirit running threw your veins in this place and there was no way that this would be your last time here.

This is day 14 of the Christmas advent calendar 📅 I hope you have enjoyed reading this 😊 thank you for the support ❤️ master list 😝 merry Christmas 🎄 have a great day 😀

@prettylittletrent @cornertakenquicklyyyy @trentalexanderarnold @robbo38 @robbothegoat @kostasstsimikass @chelseamount @chloereddy @tsimikasfamily @avenirdelight @blueathens @jordanhendersunshine @mrs-henderson @thatonesexycancerian @hendersons1truelover @nyctophilic0vitnir @peekapeaches @tsimikxs @tsimikostas @trentalexarnofan @leddows @moneymasnn @superkittywonderland @virgilvansike @virgilvandickmedown @hopefulromantic1 @robbo-trent-fanfiction26

#lfc imagines #lfc masterlist #liverpool imagines #lfc imagine #england fc imagines #england x reader #england team imagine #trent alexander arnold imagines #trent alexander arnold x reader #england imagines #trent alexander arnold x y/n #trent alexander arnold imagine #trent alexander arnold #footballer x reader #footballer imagines #football fanfic

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chaoticgeminate · 2 years ago

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Love and Red

Summary: Teagan had always seen the little red strings, never her own for some reason, but always everyone else's.

Rating: General Audiences (Dedication Fanfic is Explicit)

Notes: This is a fanfiction of a fanfiction, which I feel is becoming my thing to be honest. This is dedicated to the lovely @leslie-lyman and Stranger at my Gate. Glimpses of Pero and Tessa's story through the eyes of an outsider. This is posted with her permission!

Please check out her stories (if you're over 18, minors are not allowed) and send her some love!

Teagan had always seen the little red strings, never her own for some reason, but always everyone else’s. Connecting pinkies with little red bows, sometimes they went on for miles and miles with no end in sight and sometimes they were right beside each other. A husband and wife, a pair of brothers, grandparent and grandchild. In the past it was said to be the red string of fate that bound lovers’ souls, but now she knew that it wasn’t just romantic love that the strings would show.

Platonic love between two best friends, familial love between old and new generations, all of it was love and all of it was beautiful. But romantic love when reciprocated glowed like Christmas lights, glittering like something precious, and sometimes Teagan would just watch the people in town who found their string mate.

Wonder why she didn’t have one, or if she did why she couldn’t see it.

This made growing up difficult in a different way than just small-town popularity contests, seeing her classmates with their strings and people around town with theirs; she’d always been called absent-minded or stupid because of the distractions with the colorful shades of red that invaded her life. But there was one girl who had a string that was dull, present but so very faint, and Teagan had thought it unfair that someone as kind as Tessa Walsh had a string that she couldn’t see the end of.

Most people had strings that traveled miles across rooms, across streets and lakes and oceans, whenever theirs wasn’t close by; but Tessa’s string looked like it led to the woods but it never moved to indicate there was someone on the other end. Teagan had tried following it once when her parents had been busy at work and left her on her own, back in middle school, but the string vanished in the middle of the woods near the strangest trees she’d ever seen.

Teagan had no explanation, not that she even knew how she saw the strings to begin with, and after that she could only hope that one day Tessa’s string mate would appear. Taking advantage of the fact that she was as good as invisible to everyone, hiding her eyes -such a pale blue, are we sure she isn’t blind, her mother had once remarked- behind the long strands of mousy brown hair that she allowed to fall over her face when she turned her head down to do her work in school was how she managed to get through her youth.

Learning and observing more and more about the strings while her father taught her all manner of hobbies, it had been his attempt to encourage something to keep her wandering attention and to a degree it had worked, she was sort of an all-around artist. Pottery, ceramics, blown glass, painting… it was things she had done with her dad and things that she did when the loneliness was a little too loud.

University had been the largest factor that stopped her from focusing on the strings as hard as she usually did, there were too many and her schoolwork was so much more challenging, but that behavior carried over even after she graduated. Even as she watched people pair off, meet their string mates, as she watched some strings thin out as friendships faded or break when loved ones were lost.

Teagan’s career practically stumbled into her, if she were being honest, she’d always sold things she made as a small side hustle. Blown glass charm bracelets, beads, and figurines; wooden figurines or beads carved and painted as well as pottery and small paintings. All custom made, all handcrafted, and all of them well loved by the recipients.

One such recipient had been writing a romance novel, had plans to try and sell it, but wanted the cover art style that was practically gone now. Instead of Canva style images she’d wanted an oil painting picture, the classic look, and paid two other students to be the models for it while Teagan had painted it.

Never had she imagined becoming the next Elaine Duillo but it had happened after Time Lost hit the shelves and novelists began blowing up her professional email for requests to paint covers for their books too.

Moving back to her childhood home was done quietly, her parents retired and moved South so she’d bought their place from them since she had no siblings, and the entire ground floor was turned into a storefront and studio. Being as busy as she was with getting her new store situated, her painting studio ready, had meant that she hadn’t been paying attention until one day she went to go shopping and saw something she thought impossible.

Tessa Walsh was walking beside a man at the grocery store, he was tall and imposing but when she wasn’t looking he watched her with the softest expressions, and between their hands the red string was vibrant with the faintest of a glow. Romantic love, not yet requited, but there; Teagan felt like an idiot standing in the produce section with a head of cabbage in her hand gaping but it was beautiful.

The glow of it was red with the faintest glimmers of gold, something she’d never seen before really, and Teagan abruptly snapped her mouth closed to turn around. Unaware that Tessa’s new companion had actually noticed her, more because of her sudden movement than anything, she returned to grabbing her groceries and thanking whatever powers that be for Tessa’s good fortune.

Teagan was hard at work, with Thanksgiving around the corner the ornaments and handcrafted figurines were all selling out so fast, her pottery wheel felt like a slave driver and sleep was hard to manage with the stress of keeping everything on the shelves. Just like last year she’d known this time of the year was going to be a warzone on her sanity, a lonely Thanksgiving coupled with a lonely Christmas had led to her spending more and more time in her studio or in the store for the span of the last three months of the year.

The backlog of book covers to paint was growing, even though they weren’t actually due for at least a few months -as she specifically told people that October through December were dates she would not be painting covers- but they were still there. Thom stopped by to pick up the bulk order of ornaments that they sold at the tree farm for her, after he’d stumbled in looking for a gift for Amie the first year Teagan had her studio open she’d offered to sell them to the Walshes at production cost in exchange for word of mouth advertisement, and he ended up staying long enough to help clear the room out when he saw how frazzled she was.

“You could come to ours for Thanksgiving, you know, not a single Walsh would turn you away. We’ll also cut your tree before the official opening, since your ornaments always do well.”

“I could never impose, Thom, but thank you. Tell the others I said Happy Thanksgiving. I’ll be around for my tree after the farm opens. It’s crazy busy this time of the year, you know?”

He left while reminding her that if she came by she wouldn’t be turned away if she changed her mind, making her grin slightly, and Teagan took the brief respite of an empty shop to restock what she could on the actual shelves before working to paint some of the dried pottery pieces waiting to be finished.

What she hadn’t counted on was Henry making an appearance a few days later, also extending an invitation to Thanksgiving at the Walsh residence, and Teagan laughed at the man before sending him on his way with a painting he’d commissioned of a whimsical forest scene at night with fairies hidden in the shadows of fireflies and a sleeping family of foxes just barely visible in their den.

Teagan spent Thanksgiving with a microwave meal and her pottery wheel, her paintings didn’t sell as fast as the other things she sold so those were fine, and she had a surplus of pre-made pieces that would last at least four days. Which meant that the Saturday after Thanksgiving she could join the others in town and watch the lighting of the tree, spotting Amie and Thom and the other Walshes watching proudly.

But Teagan was drawn to the golden glow that had nearly engulfed all the red in Tessa’s string connecting her to Pero, it was new and strange for her. It made her think of hope and fear and change, like Pero and Tessa were on the precipice of something and unsure of what they were going to do.

“Hey Teagan, didn’t see you for Thanksgiving?”

Henry and Martin’s greeting made her jump nearly out of her boots.

“Oh, uh, I was trying to catch up on stock. It’s uh, I wasn’t expecting so many people to come actually find my studio. Figured they’d just buy what they needed from the tree farm since its all in one place, you know?”

Martin pulled her into a tight hug.

“Hey, don’t you dare downplay your work. People love what you make, Amie and Thom said they give out your business cards to nearly everyone that comes to pay for their tree because they ask about what else you make. You thinking about hiring anyone to help?”

“I mean, I should but right now I just need to find my footing first. So, uh, Tessa’s… boyfriend? He from Chicago too?”

Henry and Martin both chuckled and you peered around them to see Tessa leading Pero away down toward the rest of town.

“Pero and Tessa aren’t dating, not yet at least.”

“Oh, I just- I thought that they were. They love each other so-”

“I knew we weren’t the only ones to see it! Tessa is being stubborn about it, even the kids know..”

“Their string is so bright, it’s obvious.”

“String?”

Panic seized Teagan momentarily, a reminder why she didn’t really go out of her way to converse with too many people on the topic of love, she’d never really been good at stopping herself.

“Red string of fate, you know? They love each other so much that anyone can see it.”

Henry’s eyes narrowed only a little but Martin laughed softly, accepting it as a playful sort of answer, and Teagan could have kissed Miss Moira when she called for Henry and Martin. Sneaking away so they wouldn’t find her, cowardly as it was, led to Teagan nearly stumbling on a lightshow that only she could see.

Pero and Tessa were kissing and the glow of red and gold around them was radiant, in a way that made Teagan’s eyes water, it was a love that was so beautiful but there was something sad about it too. She hadn’t really ever felt the emotions that came from a string, not until she touched it, but their love was so strong that even from so far away she could feel it like a summer bonfire.

They didn’t see her when they left, thankfully, but as Teagan watched them leave she was struck with the realization that the string had lost the golden tint now that they’d evidently figured it out. But that didn’t explain why they had gold in theirs to begin with and she was suddenly wondering who, or what, Pero Tovar was.

Henry cornered her in her own store not long before the Solstice, Teagan suspected he’d put aside time after work before going home for the day, and she gave up the fight and instead let him stay as she flipped the closed sign over and let him sit down in one of the wooden rocking chairs that she’d inherited with the house. He cast a major judging expression over her microwavable dinner that was half-eaten and cold, hidden behind the counter, but she could care less about that.

“What is it, Henry?”

“You weren’t lying or joking, were you, about seeing the red strings of fate.”

“No, and I promise you I’m not crazy-”

He stopped her before she could work herself up, the shaking in her hands as she sat on her counter turned register table stopped as he held them still, and tapped her nose gently.

“Teagan, I come from a family of magic too. Can you tell me about Pero and Tessa’s string?”

“Well… it’s different. I mean, it’s a romantic love so it glitters like red Christmas lights now that it’s reciprocated but there’s gold in it and I’ve never seen it before. It’s also kind of… sad? Like it feels like the two of them have a powerful choice to make and they’re both hesitating.”

“You’re not wrong about that, is the string thing why you don’t really branch out and come to anything smaller than a town size event?”

Teagan felt her throat tighten.

“I just get overwhelmed-”

“Can you see your own string?”

The fact that he figured her out so quickly should have felt painful, it should have made her angry, but instead she felt defeated.

“No, I can’t. I can see all of it, the romantic strings and familial strings and platonic ones but I can’t see my own.”

Henry was quiet for a long moment before he wrapped her into a tight hug.

“If you feel alone you should stop running from us, I won’t tell anyone else about this except Martin -he is my husband- but I promise you that everyone in my family would understand.”

“Thank you, Henry.”

“You should really eat some actual food and not… those.”

“The last time I tried to cook I nearly blew up the oven, so if I do have a soulmate out there they better be able to cook.”

Henry stared at her for a long time before he shook his head and left, the insanity of the solstice had almost made her forget about her Christmas tree but Teagan remembered when she walked into the upstairs living room and stared at the empty corner of the room. Tomorrow she’d have to venture over to the farm, before the shop got busy, and Teagan nearly jumped down the stairs when she remembered she’d left the half eaten microwave meal down there.

Maybe Henry was right to be worried but she was fine.

What Teagan hadn’t realized was that she’d meet Pero the next day, pulling up to see the tree farm busy as ever, and after choosing a small tree -one that was easier to heft up the stairs- she nearly stumbled into the taller man before he caught her so she didn’t fall backward into someone else.

“I’m so sorry-!”

“Apologies, did you need something?”

“Oh uh, I was going to find Thom so I could get my tree-”

“I can assist you, I am Pero Tovar, which tree?”

He looked at the tree that was only a little taller than she was with a faint smile and Teagan couldn’t help but let her hand brush through the golden and red string, it was back to being gold with only flashes of red for some reason, but the overwhelming sense of hope and pleading cut through her like lightning.

They had a big choice to make indeed but she didn’t know what it could be or why it was gold other than magic being the answer. When in doubt just blame magic, after all, since she had nothing else to go on.

“If you are anything like Tessa with her decorations this will be buried in lights and baubles.”

“Oh, uh, I only really put lights on my tree. I sell ornaments, I made all the wood and glass ones that Thom brought back before Thanksgiving-”

“You are Teagan? That is very fine, delicate, work. Very impressive.”

“Thank you.”

“What else is it that you make?”

“Paintings, pottery, ceramics, bracelet charms, jewelry, wooden figures… just about anything really.”

Pero hummed as he carried her tree to be wrapped up, the size of it and his strength making it easy to carry, and Teagan noticed the abrupt way the string seemed to begin moving and imagined Tessa had her own things to handle this season.

“I will have to come by your store then, to find a present for Tessa.”

“Of course, and I make things custom as well so if you don’t see something you like then just let me know. It’ll take a little longer to make if its brand new to me but it shouldn’t be that long of a wait.”

Pero tucked her tree into the bed of her pick up and after she paid for her purchase, along with a light scolding from Amie about missing Thanksgiving, Teagan was on her way home and asking the fates again to be kind to Tessa. They weren’t exactly friends but Tessa had always been kind and Teagan still believed that if anyone deserved a powerful love like what she had with Pero that it was Tessa.

It was sometime after Christmas that she found herself at peace, finally, the shop was less hectic and things were quiet. Teagan had her easel out in the storefront today and was working on the first of many backlog book covers, the likelihood of anyone actually coming in was basically slim except she heard the cheerful bell and looked up to see Pero looking around curiously.

“Pero!”

His string was red, pure glittering red and pulsing like a heartbeat, radiating joy and happiness and serenity at long last.

“This is far more than I expected. Where is it you live if this is your store?”

“Oh, uh, upstairs. I remodeled the downstairs into a large open concept store and studio, so upstairs I took down non-support walls to make a living room area since I live alone and don’t really need all the extra bedrooms.”

The house was an old Victorian anyway, three floors with a basement, though the interior had long-since been remodeled to something much more modern; she still had a lot of space she wasn’t exactly using here.

“Practical.”

He was perusing the pottery and ceramics, the plates and serving trays and bowls, the sets of brightly colored and patterned pieces were always eye-catching. He looked at each plate, each small serving bowl, and each little part of one of the more vibrant tapas sets she’d put together after seeing a few online that she really liked.

“Is this sold as a set?”

“Yep!”

“Tessa does love to cook, this would look good when she hosts dinners.” His face fell when he saw the price tag and Teagan knew that he wouldn’t just take a handout, he didn’t seem like the type.

“I don’t make a lot of pottery because I can’t really afford to keep buying the firewood for the kiln unless I have large batch orders, and I’m not anywhere near strong enough to chop my own.” He perked up, instantly, and Teagan was relieved.

She wanted him to be able to give Tessa the lovely tapas set, the vibrant colors and patterns deserved to be used for lively parties, but she hadn’t really had any other way to justify giving him a discount of any kind.

“I could chop your firewood, if you would allow me to purchase this set.”

“How about I draw up an agreement, I’ll put a sold tag on the set, and once you’ve signed it then we can get it wrapped up?”

“This is acceptable, Teagan.”

The whole set was over $600 but included a lot of pieces. Two jugs in 1 liter volume, one butter dish, two spoon rests, three oil dispensers, 40 shallow plates ranging from a two inch diameter up to a 10 inch diameter, 24 bowls ranging from a 4 inch diameter up to a 16 inch diameter, and three utensil holders to match.

It had taken weeks to get everything made, painted, and glazed but the colorful end result had been well worth it. Nobody wanted to buy individual pieces but the price tag deterred even the most longing of potential customers.

One short call to Amie, so that she knew Pero was going to be doing contracted labor and work out a price for his time, and Pero signed the agreement before helping Teagan box the set up to take home to Tessa.

“You will allow me to take these before I work?”

“I trust you Pero. I hope Tessa likes it.”

When he stared at her for a long, quiet, moment she wondered just what he was thinking until he hummed thoughtfully.

“You remind me of someone I knew, a bastard of an Irishman.”

“Oh, well, my grandmother immigrated over here from Ireland. It’s why my parents named me Teagan, to honor her.”

Pero made a soft sound, not affectionate so much as it was understanding, and she realized belatedly he’d come here with Thom and the kids. The other Walsh let her give him hell for staying in the car, it now made sense why Amie was so confused about her call, but she didn’t keep them long after that.

It was a few days later that Tessa showed up with Pero for his first shift chopping wood, thanking her profusely for the tapas set, and Teagan couldn’t help but grin as Tessa looked at all of the other items she had on display.

“I wasn’t going to let him walk here without it, it’s beautiful… how much you love one another.”

Tessa’s face gained some color but she smiled so softly, so affectionately, that Teagan felt peace knowing that whatever choice had kept them tumbling was finally made and it was very clear they’d made the right one.

The way Tessa’s string gleamed and glittered was proof enough that their love truly was magic.

All Fics Taglist: @haylzcyon @wordsnwhiskey @pagannightwitch @radiowallet @tauralmie @amneris21 @trickstersp8 @practicalghost @rominaszh @alwaysdjarin @alexxavicry @all-the-way-down-here

#gift fic #chaoticwrites #stranger at my gate #lovelyleslie #pero tovar x ofc #told from the eyes of an outsider #the great wall fanfic

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larabiatasstuff · 2 years ago

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I have a slightly different scenario request for you. Could you do a Valek one please? Where you are his mate, but dont know it yet. Your walking home one night when your surrounded by a group of 5-6 thugs. They try to assult you, take your purse, and all of a sudden, Valek rescues you! I can imagine him being so gentle with his mate, and VERY protective 💚

I'm more than excited to write for Valek!Thank you so much for your request Bestie🖤🖤🖤

I was always the last one at the diner, cleaning up, taking out the trash and preparing everything for the morning shift. It was already after midnight when I closed for the night. I hang my purse over my shoulder and start walking to the bus stop. To my luck every single street lamp was either broken or flickered. I started walking faster, when I arrived the bus stop I sit on the bench and put my headphones in. A quick look on the watch, twenty minutes till the bus arrives. I sighed took my book out of my bag and started reading but after a few moments I noticed movements in the corner of my eye. I looked up and saw six men approaching me. I instantly got nervous, I put my book back into my purse and groped after my taser but of course it wasn't there. "Hey such a beautiful lady alone at this time?" I didn't answer him I didn't want to provoke him so I just sat there looking at my hands. "Hey our friend asked you something, it isn't very polite to ignore a gentleman." One of the other men said and sat right beside me. "Look I don't want trouble, please I just wanna go home so could you just leave me alone?" the first man kneeled down in front of me. "Of course we can Sweetheart, but it will cost you something." My heart started beating faster "What do you want? I don't have much money on me." I said The man put a finger under my chin so I had to look at him. "Oh darling I know many ways for you to pay." the other men started laughing. Suddenly a loud noise from nearby alley got his attention. "Hey you two go and have a look I don't want to be disturbed." So two of the men made their way into the dark alley.The leader turns his attention back to me "So where were we?" Suddenly the screams of the men rang through the night. "What the fuck don't stand here go and look what that was." the leader yelled at the other men. He grabbed me by my hair and dragged me in the direction of the screams. When we arrived all men were lying on the floor not moving I couldn't see it but the smell of blood was present. In the middle of the alley stood a tall man dressed in black, his dark hair falling on his shoulders looking in our direction with white eyes and a serious expression on his face. Then he looked at me. "Don't be afraid my dear, nobody is going to harm you tonight." he said with a pleasant voice. "Oh is that so? And what do you want to do about that." he gave him a small smile. "Close your eyes my dear I promise you won't get hurt." I did as he said he calmed me down in a strange way.Suddenly I felt a strong push and felt backwards on the floor eyes still closed. After what felt like an eternity I felt a hand on my shoulder "It's over my dear you're safe now." I opened my eyes and looked directly in the pale face of my savior. Now that I could see him clearly I was mesmerized, he was beautiful, his eyes, his pale skin and his dark hair. He gave me his hand and pulled me back to my feet." Are you hurt my dear? Is everything alright?" I nodded "Yes...Yes thank you so much. I don't know how can I repay you for that?" he smiled at me "No need for that my dear. I couldn't let those people hurt you could I? Now, come my dear I'll take you home, you need to rest." he offered me his arm and I gladly took. The way home was silent. When we arrived at my front door I let go of his arm and looked at him" I... I don't know your name. " he smiled" My name is Valek, Jan Valek and yours? "" Oh I'm Y/N I know it is a strange question but will I see you again? " he took a step forward" Do you want to see me again my dear? " " Yes, please I want to see you again." he put a strand of hair behind my ear." Then I will visit you now and then. Now go to bed and get some rest my dear you need it."I don't know where the courage came from but I stepped forward and kissed his cheek" Thank you again for saving me. " then I opened the door and disappeared into my home and left Valek outside with a grin on his face.

I hope you like it 👀I got a bit carried away 🖤

#thomas ian griffith #jan valek #john carpenter’s vampires #majestic vampire king 👑

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oliviab-scstudyabroad · 2 years ago

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An Afternoon in Brazil (Part II)

Hey guys! Here’s Part II to my Uruguay road trip. My friend Karen and I woke up early on Saturday morning and started to make a breakfast that consisted of a fruit salad, leftover chorizo, oatmeal, and coffee. As people woke up, they also helped out by making eggs, setting the table, etc. I went outside for a little bit and enjoyed the peaceful view of the countryside. There was a guy that came by riding his horse, clearly on his way to work, and I thought, “So this is the life of a gaucho (Latin-American cowboy). It was so peaceful, and I was grateful that I could relax and enjoy the morning without feeling rushed to get somewhere. After cleaning up, we went to the Quebrada de Los Cuervos National Park. We were able to swim in the lagoons there, and the water was freezing but refreshing! It truly felt like a little slice of heaven because we were away from everything, and we had the whole place to ourselves. We spent a few hours there, and then we hiked a little bit and saw some fantastic panoramic views of the whole park! I felt like I was in the Amazon; the forest was so lush and there were rivers flowing in and out of each other.

We then made the four-hour drive to Punta del Diablo, which is on the Uruguayan coast. As you can imagine, we listened to tons of music, including songs from each of our countries! My Uruguay Playlist grew a ton by the end of the trip. It’s interesting, however, that everyone knew the lyrics to several songs in English, including “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen, “Africa” by Toto, and “Can’t Stop” by The Red Hot Chili Peppers. My friends explained to me that they learn to speak English as a second language at a very young age, and they consume lot of media (including movies, music, and social media posts) that is in English. It really goes to show that English is the universal language, and it made me thing about how the U.S. could do better in creating a firm foundation for students in a foreign language. As soon as we got to our Airbnb (a 7-minute walk from the beach!) we went straight to bed.

On Sunday morning, we woke up, made breakfast, this one including Uruguayan sweets that combine well with mate. My favorite Uruguayan treats are the ojitos (little cookies that have a mixture with egg yolk and sugar in the middle- they do look like little eyes!) and any type of cookie that has dulce de leche. After, we drove 30 minutes to a town called Chuí that is on the border of Uruguay and Brazil! I hadn’t realized how close we were to the border, but thankfully I had brought my passport. We didn’t have to stop in any sort of Customs (I suppose because people drive back and forth all the time), so when we got to Chuy, we parked the car and walked to Brazil! The street that we crossed was a two-lane road: on one side is the Avenida Uruguay, where all the shops are in Spanish, and on the other side is Avenida Brazil, where all the shops are in- you guessed it- Portuguese! We looked like such tourists taking videos of us stepping into Brazil. That was one of my favorite memories of the trip.

Once in Brazil, we walked around and peered into some of the shops. We didn’t spend a lot of time in time in Chuí because there wasn’t too much to see, but I did get an ice cream. I don’t know why I was so astounded by the fact that all the packaging was in Portuguese! When checking out, I said “obrigada”, which means “thank you” in Portuguese, to the cashier. I couldn’t help myself. After, we drove to the Barra de Chui, which is a section of the beach that has a rock barrier dividing Uruguay and Brazil! There were families with their young children, people fishing, etc. Again, I was blown away at how easily people can cross borders here! I think it’s such a crazy concept for me because it’s not as simple geographically to travel to other countries from the U.S.

After our outing in Brazil, we stopped in Santa Teresa National park, where we wandered and got panchos (hot dogs) and churros de dulce de leche. I enjoyed strolling through the Botanical Gardens and Greenhouses and watching the sun set! We then drove back home and had yet another fantastic dinner with our chorizo, again cooked over a wood-burning fire.

The next day was unfortunately the last day of our great Uruguayan adventure, so we made the most of it by spending time at the beach. Punta del Diablo, or Devil’s Point, got its name because of the plentitude of rocks that create massive waves. Many professional surfers come to surf at Devil’s Point. Because of this, the waves were alarmingly big, so we stayed close to the shoreline. We then packed up and made the 3-hour trek home without forgetting to stop at a carrito to get tortas fritas with dulce de leche. You can say that I felt a little ill after all the dulce de leche that I consumed this trip. In between naps, we sang classic Uruguayan songs and laughed all the way home.

I loved everything about this trip- the sights that I saw, the food that I tried, and most of all, the people I went with. Everyone was up for everything, and we made a great time mapping places out, cooking most of our meals, etc. Though the interior of Uruguay is different from Montevideo in the fact that it’s mostly countryside, I appreciated its tranquil vibe and the natural landscapes. I now get why people are so proud to be from the interior. There are 19 departments in Uruguay, so I hope to check off the other 16!

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hannieween · 22 days ago

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the traitor | yoon jeonghan

› pairings: yoon jeonghan x female reader › aus: demon hunter jeonghan, supernatural au, demon reader › genres: angst, smut (18+) › word count: 8.4k

› this one shot is part 2 of the curse - hannieween fest

› warnings after the cut! READ THEM CAREFULLY 🗣️

› warnings: smut with plot, unprotected p in v sex, oral sex (both receivers), pussy drunk jeonghan, cockdrunk reader, cum swallowing, creampies, cowgirl, mating press. pet names: baby, baby demon (hers)

› disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

› author's note: this is part two of my demon hunter hannie! hehe i loved writing it sm and thought to give you a follow-up part!

› additional note: this isn't proofread

the traitor

JEONGHAN WAS WOKEN UP BY A TINGLING FEELING. As a hunter, he needed to pay attention to a few things, like sudden surges of emotions. Hunches. Tingling sensations were not particularly something he would consider in the bunch. But alas.

He pushed himself up, swinging his legs at the rim of the bed and stared at his knees for a long second. He took a deep breath, rubbing his leg. It was pointless, he thought when he could not find a reason to leave his bed in the middle of the night.

But being a hunter also meant he needed to be on high alert nearly all the time. In his experience, sometimes it was a good idea to pay attention to those moments when nothing made sense at all, such as this.

Sucking in a breath, he got up, stretching his arms over his head as he went over to the small bathroom, avoiding his reflection in the mirror as usual.

Upon the first splash of water hitting his face, he thought of you. It was inevitable. The image of you sitting on the ground, surrounded by trees. That night, he left you for good. That night nothing made sense.

Needless to say, he was exercising all of his will not to go back to you.

Stop trying to make sense of everything.

After that, he debated whether to go back to bed or not. He could take a bottle, try to numb his senses and finally get a good night of sleep. But he needed to stay sharp.

It was a lost game. He got dressed, throwing his pair of black pants and a long-sleeved shirt. Finally strapping his chest harness on with his knife. Going out in the middle of the night meant to him that he was out for blood.

That was his way to distract himself.

“Jeonghan, don’t go.”

He recoiled, shaking his head and mentally reprimanding himself for thinking of you. But your last words to him were a curse, echoing inside him every night, refusing to leave.

Jeonghan let out a long exhale as he wandered through the night. The streets of the town were completely deserted, he knew he would have to stay out for some hours before he found a target.

These nights, he had been hunting until he travelled three towns over. All because he cannot find it in himself to sleep, he has to fight the urge to seek you out somehow.

Maybe this will be the night he breaks.

There was nothing in this town. It was too safe, too clean. He knew it would not be long until he had to move to a different town and start over. He had been commissioned to travel to different parts of the globe to find something to hunt down, so maybe he was doing his job right.

So why did he come back to this shitty town?

Something spiked in his nightly walk. There was something unusual in the air and it was not good. Jeonghan had really good senses, but his intuition was something that discerned him from the rest. Sometimes, people would tell him that his intuition was something out of the ordinary for hunters. So he paid more attention to that rather than his other senses.

He subconsciously rubbed his leg and caught his hand just as it dawned on him.

“Jeonghan, don’t go.”

Fear set in, and adrenaline kicked in as he started for a run. He had been stupid. So fucking stupid. How come he did not think that by killing every single demon within the town’s radar he was putting a target on you for other hunters?

Jeonghan knew the town by heart, but he could travel to your apartment with his eyes closed. Countless were the nights he stumbled upon your front door, burdened with misery all over. This cannot be the way he finds you dead.

“No, no, no, no…” he had been repeating the word like a prayer as he climbed through a labyrinth of stairs, panting, sweating until he burst the door open, already knowing you would not be there.

He called your name, either way, his voice bouncing back the walls. There was something off. A glass was shattered, pushed against the corner of the room. One of the chairs was drawn back, in the middle of the way. Jeonghan painted a scene of what could have gone down.

You were probably having the bowl of cereal that was abandoned on the table when the other hunter burst in. Jeonghan could not catch the scent of the other hunter, so that meant whoever that was, they masked themselves well.

No, you would have felt his presence before he could even breathe in your direction. Even if you were young, you were not completely inexperienced in the world of hunters. He made sure of that.

Another possibility was that you were asleep when the other hunter came. The sheets of your bed were tossed to one side. Jeonghan crouched next to the mattress, a terrible feeling sinking inside him upon getting your scent lingering on the pillowcases.

Jeonghan missed you.

“Where are you?” he whispered, closing his eyes to focus on your scent.

You smelled like freshly picked flowers. The smell he would get in the early morning after a night of rain. The fact that you did not smell like death, or blood made it hard for him to focus sometimes.

He opened his eyes, his focus falling on the open window. Then, he knew why he could not make a story from his surroundings. He had been wrong to assume it was just one hunter.

Someone had also come through the window. You were trapped from the beginning. His chest contracted painfully. But somehow he knew you were not dead yet. Have you been taken? For what end?

The possibilities were endless. Even if hunters had a long history of hating demons, some of them were missing some screws in their heads too.

Jeonghan needed to find you, soon.

Making his way down the stairs, part of him wondered why try at all. He could be rid of you once and for all. He could probably turn a blind eye to this and wait for your name to appear on the ledges. He would be free from the fucking pull that lead him to you every time.

The pull.

The feeling he got every time he closed his eyes, the need and deep craving for you that made him go insane. He let himself feel it. It tugged inside him, like a thread that was tied to his very core.

Jeonghan had refused that feeling ever since he met you, thinking it was some kind of trick you played on him. Silly little hunter got all wrapped in a demon’s finger.

But if he dared to give in to the pull, everything smelled of you. Every gulp of air he took as he walked in the direction his senses told him, he saw your face, your teary eyes as he walked away. Fool, he was a fool.

He was led to the forest, the same path he had gone through when he saw you last. Maybe he was wrong, maybe he should go back and hunt you down.

But then he heard noises, leaves rustling, and a small intake of breath. The sweet way you drew air into your lungs.

He thought of risking calling your name, but he did not know if the hunters were around. So he just followed the sound of your movements until he could get his sight on you.

You could barely walk right. Something had brought you to your knees, your arms were shaking as you forced yourself to stand up, with a low grunt.

Jeonghan called your name this time, making you lift your head.

He stopped abruptly at the sight of something shiny in your fist.

“Don’t move,” you said, punctuating each word painfully.

“What happened?” he asked, his tone declining in sickening worry, his gaze coasted at each of your limbs, zeroing in on your thigh. The same thigh he had been rubbing since he woke up. It made no sense.

“Step back, Jeonghan,” you panted in pain, raising the knife at him when he made a motion toward you.

“You didn’t notice me coming,” he muttered, analyzing the situation quickly. He sent his gaze around, seeing if there were signs that there was someone lurking by. “Let me take a look at that.”

“How did you find me?” you asked, letting yourself plop back to the ground, letting go of the knife.

Jeonghan got to your side, dropping to his knees to look at your thigh. “I don’t know,” he mumbled, eyeing you. “I’m going to touch you now.”

You nodded and braced yourself for the searing pain in your leg. “Two hunters came for me,” you said, clenching your jaw tightly to resist the pain throbbing in your skin, around the gaping hole that was turning black.

“I know,” he said, examining the open wound. “Did they stab you?”

You shook your head twice. “They were using a crossbow. Silver arrows,” you explained despite the need to rest your head on the ground and sleep through it. “I feel dizzy.”

Jeonghan shot you a look. He was worried. “It’s the poison, they must’ve poisoned the arrows to neutralize you,” he said at once. “What did you do to the arrow?”

“I used it on one of them,” you replied with half a smirk that slowly vanished as Jeonghan started to press on the wound, seeing any signs of anything odd or unfamiliar.

“Sorry,” he breathed as you tensed in pain. “I need to see if there’s anything in there,” he explained, but what did not satiate the doubts running in his mind.

“I can’t heal it,” you repeated and now he could see that beneath the pain and the need to deflect it with humour, you were scared.

“I know, I know,” he told you, giving you a stern look. “I can help you but you’ll have to be quiet.”

“Are you missing this opportunity to gag me?” you quipped but your tone was made weak by the fear of feeling pain.

Demons were used to pain, yes. But you were a fairly young demon and lived for most of your life in the human world. Such pain was not welcome for you.

“Breathe,” he instructed and used his hands on your thigh to squeeze the blood that had gone black and tacky around the wound.

You gritted your teeth, writhing in pain on the cold ground. “Stop, stop, stop,” you cried out, trying to get his hands off you.

But Jeonghan was quicker, and stronger than you at that moment. He did not deter from his task to squeeze the poisoned blood out of you despite your desperate cries for him to stop.

You lied, nearly limp from the exhaustion the pain had put you through. A sheen layer of cold sweat covered your face and neck, breathing hard. “Fuck you,” you sighed when he stopped squeezing your flesh.

“I’m not done yet, I need pressure on the wound,” he said, moving back to unfasten his belt with his bloodied hands. He strapped the belt around your upper thigh, forming a tight tourniquet.

“Hurry,” you said through heavy breaths. As you eased your back on the ground, Jeonghan caught sight of the dark wings splayed beneath your body, a clear sign that you could not conceal yourself any further.

Jeonghan made no comment about the weakened state you were in. A knot was set in his stomach upon realizing that you were dying. He grabbed one of the vials he kept in his hunter’s belt, it contained a white liquid. “This is going to sting a little,” he murmured, unstoppering the vial with his mouth and not pausing before pouring the antidote on your open wound.

Your hand flew to clench at his wrist, letting out a scream that was quickly muffled by his hand clasped in your mouth.

“I’m nearly done,” he said with a composure that you could see through. Beneath that, Jeonghan was worried you would not make it.

“Am I going to be all right?” you asked in a daze, slurring out your words.

“Drink this,” he pressed the vial to your lips, pouring the rest down your tongue, which you gulped willfully, it tasted like white vinegar.

You rested your head on the ground, taking slow and deep breaths as though you had just finished running a marathon.

“You’re going to be all right,” he said after a quick examination of the wound. “But you’ll need to feed soon.”

“Right,” you mumbled in understanding. By feeding, Jeonghan did not mean human food. Although you could eat human food just all right, it did not sustain what your soul craved.

He meant sins. You needed to feed off human sin. They made you stronger, and faster. They gave you the fuel needed to fight hunters. Going off sins for a while made you just as strong as an average human.

“Why haven’t you fed?” he asked, and it took you a while to understand that he was reprimanding you.

“Been busy,” you sighed, closing your eyes for a moment.

The last thing you heard was Jeonghan mumbling, “We’ll need to move soon,” before you fell into a deep sleep on a floor covered by dead leaves.

Upon regaining consciousness, you noticed with some slowness that you were not surrounded by trees, and you were moving. Your wings were cradling you, so that meant your horns were on sight too.

You tensed up, drawing in a shaky breath, palming your body in search of the knife that you stole from your attackers.

“Easy,” Jeonghan murmured next to you, a hand on the wheel, the other on the shift stick.

“Where are we?” you said, looking around.

“Radewood town,” he replied nonchalantly, eyes set forward on the road.

“Why?” you asked slowly, hiding your wings, from his view, then your horns.

“How’s your leg?” he asked instead, glancing at your thigh.

The wound had stopped bleeding, it was no longer oozing that black substance that had Jeonghan looking worried. You hissed painfully upon searching it with your fingers. The blood had dried, but it was not healing at the speed you would normally have.

“It hurts,” you mumbled, biting your bottom lip. “It’s not healing.”

Jeonghan nodded. “You need to feed,” he reminded you with the same tone of reprimand of earlier.

“Well, I fled without stopping to grab my purse so,” you sighed. “I don’t have money.”

“I’m not talking about human food,” he said with annoyance, shooting you a look that made you shrink in your seat. “Why haven’t you been feeding?”

You blinked slowly at him and shook your head after deciding that there was no answer that would please him. “I have–,”

“Don’t say you have been busy,” he cut in.

“Well, it’s the truth,” you said with a clear tone that gave away your lie.

But Jeonghan could feel it. Whenever you told a lie, there was a change in the air that only he could notice as a hunter. No human could ever detect your lies, only people like him.

“You know I know when you’re lying,” he said flatly, throwing you a dark look.

“Be content with that,” you bit back. “I’m not telling you anything else.”

Jeonghan shook his head, deciding not to press any further on the matter. He licked his lips, filling his lungs with the fresh midnight air that swept in through his rolled window.

“Jeonghan,” you called softly and did not proceed with your question until he glanced your way. “Why are you helping me?”

Jeonghan turned on a different street again, checking his rearview mirror, pretending to ready his answer. “I don’t know,” he replied.

There it was the empty void extending between you and him. If he lied, you would have sensed it too.

“How did you find me?” you pressed, trying to the best of your ability to analyze him. You were still weak, but you could still observe him despite your foggy brain.

“I don’t know,” he repeated with a low tone that barely cut through the noise of the engine of the car.

It made no sense. The way he found you in the woods was not done with any of his training. He simply closed his eyes and let him be taken to you. He did not even think twice as he carried your body to his car and started it, taking you far away from the town where you would be at risk of being hunted down.

“We have to lay low for now,” he mumbled, avoiding your eyes as he cut the engine on an empty parking lot.

You raised your gaze to the motel sign, flaring in red neon light. “Is this your version of laying low?” you said with a sarcastic huff. “We could’ve done that back in the forest.”

Jeonghan opened the door, not bothering to look at you or give you a reply. “Stay here.”

You saw him walking away from the car, putting his hands in the pockets of his black leather jacket, his long hair tied in a messy ponytail.

You could run away. You did not know if Jeonghan was even aware of this. Maybe he was, you had a bad leg, and you were growing weaker.

Plus, there was the fact that he was now aware that he could trace you with his eyes closed.

You swallowed hard, waiting for him in the passenger seat of his old Mustang. You were going nowhere.

Some minutes later, you saw Jeonghan exiting the building and walking towards your door, which he opened to retrieve his belongings, which were his belt and his knife.

“This way,” he mumbled, motioning to one of the doors with a jerk of his head.

Reluctantly, you exited the car, closing the door behind you. Jeonghan turned and walked over to the door, introducing the key, and opening it for you.

You knew better than to fight it. There was a quiet storm brewing in the man’s head, and you were in its eye. You knew him well enough to tell when something was bothering him. And you knew what it was.

With a sigh, you walked inside the room. “One bed?” you turned to him with an exasperated look.

“I didn’t think you would mind,” he froze by the doorframe.

“Whatever,” you waved a hand dismissively before he could offer to change it.

As soon as Jeonghan closed the doors and the blinds, you started to the bathroom, taking all of your clothes off in front of him. You made no invitation, no offer but you still left the door open, the sound of the shower filling the tiny room.

Jeonghan made another small inspection, looking out of the window through the blinds before deciding to relax. He took his jacket off, leaving it neatly by the chair that was pushed to one corner of the room. He took his boots off, sitting down on the chair with a low grunt of exhaustion.

As he sat up straight, he caught sight of his hand, only noticing because he had started moving it, rubbing his palm on the exact spot where you had been injured.

“What the fuck?” he whispered to himself, raising his gaze as you returned to the bathroom, wholly naked, pressing a towel to your hair.

“You okay, hunter?” you eyed him curiously, like a cat that just noticed a flashy light.

Jeonghan frowned, not at you but at the thing stirring inside his chest. That feeling he got only when he was with you. “When is the last time you fed?”

“Here we go again,” you rolled your eyes but continued towel-drying your hair without bothering to respond.

“Answer me,” he muttered when you turned your back on him. Your reluctance to answer his question might have given him the answer.

“The last time we saw each other,” you said, your words echoing his own thoughts.

“Why?” the word was sharp like it took everything in him to suppress the dark emotion pulling on his every nerve. “That happened months ago.”

“Why do you care so much?” you spat, turning around to face him.

The question seemed to make him return to his senses, his eyes flickered with an emotion that you were to weak to catch. “I don’t,” he replied, stepping back from his initial anger.

“I’ll feed whenever I want to,” you said and this time you did not lie.

Jeonghan stood up, commanding your gaze to lift up to find his. “So you’re not hungry?”

You bit your tongue. Your eyes were dead, and despite the hot shower you had just taken, you were cold to the touch as Jeonghan curiously raised a hand to your shoulder. It was pointless, your plan had crashed and burned miserably.

“I’ve heard stories…” you whispered, closing your eyes to repel the sensation firing inside you. “Stories of ways a demon can become human. You can’t become human if you’re feeding off them, right?”

When Jeonghan did not reply, nor move you opened your eyes again. He was still rigid in the same trance he had been upon finding you injured and bleeding in the forest.

“You’ll die,” he sentenced after some seconds. “Are you insane?”

You brushed his hand off. “I knew you’d say that,” you whispered with a pained look, turning around to sit down on the bed.

“Why do you want to become human?” the words sounded ridiculous as he uttered them.

“Not your business, Jeonghan,” you replied impishly, throwing the towel to him, which he saw coming, catching it with ease.

“It is if you’re running away with me,” he said. Your temptation to feed could become dangerous. And he was toeing that line too deliberately.

“I didn’t choose to run away with you,” you bit back with an indignant huff.

“That’s the thanks I get?” he rolled his eyes in annoyance. “What was I supposed to do, then? Leave you to die? To be found by them?”

He did not need to explain who he referred to. The two hunters must have noticed that Jeonghan ran away with his things, his car, leaving an empty place behind. And you are nowhere to be found. He was a traitor.

“Maybe,” you whispered, lowering your gaze to your lap. You skirted the pads of your fingers around the wound that still refused to heal completely.

Jeonghan stood before you, using a hand on your chin to force your teary eyes on him. A finger scooped your tear as it rolled down your cheek. The tear glistened on the pad of his thumb as he showed it to you, a shocked expression plastered on his face.

Demons felt emotions, yes. But nothing like sorrow. Jeonghan had never seen a demon cry, let alone one that wanted to become human. It made no sense.

“It’s possible, Jeonghan,” you whispered shakily, letting your tears flow freely.

“Humans are weak. They get sick, they die. Besides, the guilt of everything you’ve done as a demon will crush you,” he said, dropping his hand from your chin. “Why would you want something like that?”

“I’m done talking,” you said childishly, turning over to draw the covers of the bed and tucked yourself in. “Goodnight.”

He blinked perplexedly at you. The best option was to wait for another opportunity to bring up the matter, but for now, he needed to rest. He disposed of his chest harness, and his knives, leaving them on the old and battered bedside table, where he could reach out if needed.

A smile threatened to break on his face when you turned slightly at the sound of him taking his pants off, then his long-sleeved t-shirt, discarding his clothes at the foot of the bed.

He paused, tugging the band of his black boxers with his fingers. He took them off, making things fair.

“Is that necessary?” you asked, narrowing your eyes at him as he sank under the covers with you.

“Just playing your game,” he said, tugging the hair tie loose before lying his head on the pillow next to yours.

“I’m not playing any games,” you huffed with annoyance, turning over so your back was to him once again.

There it was the ripple in the air between you and him. Jeonghan did not need to comment on it, but you hated it.

Hunter abilities or not, Jeonghan would be able to read through your lies blindfolded. He was just that good at reading people, reading you.

Jeonghan stared at the ceiling, his heartbeat going a mile per hour, like a bird’s wings batting frantically inside his chest. He swallowed hard, resisting the urge pushing him to raise his hand at you, to reach out and touch your skin.

You closed your eyes, commanding yourself to sleep. But it was nearly impossible. Jeonghan’s scent was too distracting. The hunger caved a hole deep inside you. It was no ordinary hunger, it was one that had your soul twisting.

You balled your hands into fists, sinking your face into the pillow. His lust was nearly palpable, looming over you like a monster preying on you.

However, you were too weak to actually act upon it. Soon, you fell asleep, not noticing when or how.

Jeonghan however, was too riddled with questions to do the same. He turned his head on the pillow, seeing your wet hair, your naked shoulder. His thigh throbbed in something that reminded him of pain, though his flesh was fine and did not hurt.

Why would you want to become human? What could be a good enough reason to want to abandon your life full of pleasures? It made no sense. Jeonghan had never heard of a demon becoming human, but he saw you crying, so that must mean that it could be done.

Still, it meant that there was a price to be paid. There always was.

Wandering through endless questions, Jeonghan fell asleep. Now and then he was reminded of your presence in the bed, feeling your warmth or hearing you move beneath the sheets.

Even if he were not a light sleeper, the distraction of your warmth was enough to stir him awake. He found himself entirely pressed to your body, his front to the back of yours. His nose buried in your mane of hair, an arm draped over your waist.

And he was hard. Fuck, he was so hard it was starting to become annoying. It would be so easy to slip himself inside your pussy, waking you up in the process. He had done it countless times before.

He let out a silent sigh through his nose, only getting the scent of your hair when he breathed in. Your hand found his arm parked on the curve of your waist, you were awake. Jeonghan pressed himself another inexistent inch further, his hard cock wedged on your ass.

“Jeonghan,” you mumbled sleepily, turning over to see him. You threw him an innocent look, big eyes, pouting lips. “What are you doing?”

He responded by giving you a confused look. In other times, you would not even ask questions, you would just let him take you, take whatever he wanted, for however long.

Jeonghan brought a hand to your chin, his touch igniting your skin, making you blink dumbly. “How long are you going to keep resisting it?” the words flew out of his mouth before he could even comprehend his own question.

But he knew what you were doing. He was an expert in pushing his feelings down, particularly, he knew what it felt like to resist this pull.

“However long is necessary, Jeonghan,” you replied, but your tone wavered in the urge to press yourself against his hand, to feel him.

“Why?” he asked, his eyes skirting through your reaction. He knew you wanted this, why were you refusing him?

“If I keep this for long I might get what I want,” you whispered, avoiding his eyes in utter shame.

“Why do you want to become human so desperately?” he asked again, looking at you with an obfuscation that was hard to mask.

You shrugged, keeping your sunken gaze on his chiselled chest. “That doesn’t concern you.”

Jeonghan pressed his fingers on your chin gently, tugging you so you locked your pretty eyes with his. “Does it not, really?”

Your brow furrowed, your gaze darkening. Feeling like you were being mocked, your eyes watered again. “Fuck off, Jeonghan,” you scoffed weakly, trying to free yourself from his grip.

He did not want to see it, but your reaction told him everything he needed to know. It took him some seconds to shake the perplexion off. It made no sense. “Did you think that being human would change things?”

You made no verbal reply, scoffing as you brushed his hand off you one more time.

But you knew him well enough to expect that would not work on him. He needed an answer now, and he would stop at nothing to get it now that he knew it fully concerned him.

“Did you think I would want you more if you were human?” he asked without heat in his words, his gaze reading your features over and over. “Did you think that would give you a shot at a normal thing happening between us?”

“No, Jeonghan,” you rolled your eyes, but he could see how much his questions had pierced through you. “Quite the opposite.”

He made a motion to pull his head back on the pillow as if that gave him a better frame of your face. “What?”

“I want this to stop,” you whispered, rolling over the bed to sit up with a sigh.

Jeonghan looked at your back, you let your head drop forward, sniffling softly but you were fully crying now.

“Maybe being human will make this stop,” you whispered, motioning a hand between his body and yours. By this, you meant, the out-of-the-ordinary need for him, the desperate craving that refused to let you live. Maybe then, the bond between you would not be so unbearable.

Jeonghan sat up too, trying to read any signs of your words being insincere. But he found nothing, the quiet tension falling in the room startled him, and it made him uncomfortable. Even more, the battering inside his chest was making it difficult to even breathe.

“That makes no sense,” he mumbled with a hollow tone.

“It makes perfect sense,” you bit back, throwing him a sad look.

You were weak, nearing a state that you did not comprehend. Becoming human meant that you also had to deal with human emotions, and they were flowing freely through you, giving you a taste of what you were about to face as a human.

However, making yourself human condemned you to a myriad of threats. Not just mortality. You would become a demon that betrayed its own kind. A traitor, too.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked, trying to hold your gaze to read you better.

“I want to be rid of you by whatever means necessary,” you hissed, coating your words with venom.

“Liar.”

There was a shadow of a smile on his face, and before you resorted to a crazed fit of violence, you decided to crush your mouth with his, kissing him with enough vehemence it would hurt him if he were human.

But he was tough enough to take you. He released a grunt in your mouth that was from half arousal, half annoyance at you.

“You’re a baby,” he grunted between hard kisses. “A bratty, fussy, melodramatic demon.”

“Shut up, Jeonghan,” you hissed. “Shut up or I swear–,”

“What?” he bit back, holding your face with both hands, squishing your cheeks. “What will you do, eh?”

“Don’t try me right now,” you said, kissing him repeatedly you were running out of breath.

“That’s exactly what I want to do,” he chuckled. “Did you think that making yourself human would make me stop wanting you?”

“Yes,” you hissed, pushing him back onto the bed with all the strength you had.

Jeonghan was stronger than you at that moment, but he allowed you to handle him with a triumphant smirk on his face. Nothing in existence would make him stop wanting you, damned to hell or not.

Though it made him curious to know. “Do you want to stop wanting me, then?” he leaned his head to his shoulder.

“It would be nice to stop craving you all the time,” you said, sinking your face in the crook of his neck to kiss him.

“Liar,” he grunted, holding your hips as you made a trail of kisses down his beautifully scarred chest. “Even worse, you’re a masochistic one at that.”

The guilty giggle escaping through your lips gave him all the reassurance he needed. You were now soaking up his need for you.

“Gods,” he breathed when your lips reached his hipbone. Your touch would never satiate the craving need inside him, but this night he would at least attempt to.

His fingers tangled in your hair, keeping his grip light but it would become difficult as you gave him a long lick from his ball sack to the tip of his cock. “Fuck,” he gritted, tensing as you wrapped your mouth around the bulbous head of his cock. “Yes, baby, just like that.”

The room fell silent again, but now all that surrounded you and him was lust and bliss. It had your blood revelling, sizzling beneath your skin to take him into your mouth. His fingers thread in your hair, caressing you as you bobbed your head up and down on him, sucking him off eagerly. You were tasting him, not only his skin, his arousal, but his lust. It drove you crazy.

“Gods, I fucking missed you,” he drawled, closing his eyes briefly before he lost all control. He wanted to push his hips, to drive his cock into your throat. But he also wanted to take this patiently.

You explored him with your mouth, just like your hands were exploring his body. Not that his nakedness was new to you, but you had just gone months without touching him. And not for a single second did you forget the taste of him, you also missed him.

But did he miss you the same way you did? Did he crave to hear your voice like you did his?

Your transition from demon to human was painful, and you were throwing it all away in one night. And Jeonghan was willingly letting you feed off his lust, you were relishing the taste of his greed, sucking off the last bit of the self-restraint he had in him.

His fingers curled around your hair, clenching his jaw as he moaned in pure pleasure. He let out a gasp when your tongue swirled around his cockhead. “Keep doing that, baby,” he said languidly, following the movements of your head on him.

A strangled moan bubbled in your mouth, and you followed his command, rolling your tongue around his blunt head.

Jeonghan smirked knowingly. You weakened whenever he treated you with softness, so words like baby drove you crazy. He threw a look down at his body, capturing your eyes, darkened with a lascivious greed that only fueled his. “Touch yourself,” he said with a gruff tone. “I want you to come with me.”

You sneaked a hand between your thighs, moaning salaciously when your fingers stroked your clit.

Jeonghan sighed, blinking slowly at the sight of you, thinking of your drenched pussy, your fingers coated in your arousal as you rubbed fast swirls around your clit. “That’s it, baby, just like that,” he praised, brushing your hair back with his long fingers. “You’re such a good girl for me, you don’t even know it.”

You moaned around his cock again, succumbing to a fast orgasm, your body trembled slightly.

“Coming,” he whispered, his mouth falling open as ropes of cum spurted down your throat, moaning at the sight of you drinking him off completely, licking to the last bead of his cum. You littered the reddened cockhead with sweet pecks trailing down to his shaft, eliciting a raw chuckle from him.

“That was amazing,” he whispered, enjoying the twinkle in your dark eyes upon being praised by him.

Jeonghan sat up, hooking one arm around your waist to throw you back onto the mattress. “Your turn,” he said with a wolfish grin.

You had recuperated the color in your cheeks, but you were still weak enough to fight his strength. You grunted as your head hit the pillows, but returned the smile at him. “You’ll see when I get my strength back.”

“Ooh, scary,” he said, grazing his lips on yours.

“You’ll see,” you remarked.

“Scary baby demon, what are you going to do?” he teased again, kissing the apple of your cheek, his breath caressing your ear.

“I’ll make you suffer,” you mumbled faintly, closing your eyes as his lips reached the underside of your jaw, making you tilt your head back for him.

“I want to see that,” he said mockingly. “Make me suffer.”

You sighed a moan when he kissed your throat, giving you a broad stroke with his tongue, tracing your collarbones. “Jeonghan…”

“Don’t throw another tantrum like that again,” he murmured against your skin, leaving another kiss on the plain of your breasts, before adding, “I’ll be mad at you.”

A spark of wrath got mixed along with greed and lust, it was not new to you, but it was rare.

“It wasn’t a tantrum,” you argued, though your tone was made weak by his lips, his tongue licking one of your nipples, making you arch your back.

He paused, “I don’t care,” he decided at once. “You’re not doing it again.”

“You don’t get to decide what I do, Jeonghan,” you mumbled breathily, moaning as his mouth wrapped around your nipple, suckling at it softly once, then swirling the tip of his tongue around it.

Jeonghan did not respond verbally to your obvious lie. He did not have a say in your choices, but there was a force greater than him or you that tied you to him. So every choice you made, every choice he made, was bound to affect you both.

“How’s your leg?” he asked, moving your thighs gently to slot his waist between them. His fingers traced a circle around the scar that was beginning to form.

“Better,” you sighed.

“Mmn,” he smirked at you, leaning over to kiss your lips. “Will it heal completely by the time I’m done eating you out?”

“Why, are you in a rush?” you quipped, arching an eyebrow at him.

There you were, he smirked. “I ache for you,” he whispered, letting his forehead fall upon yours. The shame coursing through him made you recoil but sensing it, he added quickly: “You have not only starved yourself but starved me with your stupid little plan.”

“You avoided me too,” you accused.

“I know, I was a fool,” he confessed, running his palms all over your body as if he could not do anything else. He sank down, leaving wet kisses down your tummy, his hands palming your breasts, his fingers lingering on your sensitive nipples.

You bit your lip, only in your most crazed fantasies did you dare to imagine him saying this. “You were,” you whispered. “The biggest fool.”

“Uh-huh,” he hummed, kissing your mound generously, his hands grabbing your thighs with the lightest of touches before licking your pussy with a broad stroke.

“Jeonghan!” you cried out, brushing his dark hair gently as he ate you out like a starved man, licking your folds thoroughly, his tongue sliding up to your clit to then suckle at it.

You arched your back, not caring about the light pain throbbing on your thigh. Jeonghan was giving you everything you needed, giving your pussy open-mouthed kisses, drinking your arousal in with pleased moans.

“Fuck-k,” you gritted weakly, letting yourself be swept away by the gentle waves of your orgasm building inside you. “I m-missed you too, Jeonghan,” you mumbled.

He raised his gaze to yours, blinking slowly at you, pressing his tongue on your swollen clit, moving it swiftly in figure-eight motions, driving you to the edge. You gripped the bedsheets with one hand, the other flying to grab at the railings of the headboard.

“I’m close,” you gasped, breathing rapidly, welcoming the pleasure barreling through your body. “I’m close, I’m–, Jeonghan…” you closed your eyes, repeating his name over and over as you climaxed in his mouth.

But Jeonghan was not stopping. He continued making out with your pussy, enjoying the taste of your arousal pooling in your entrance, licking your folds with raunchy moans. His hands held you down as you shook with the aftershocks of your orgasm, caressing your tummy languidly.

“Jeonghan,” you called, shuddering when his hand caressed your thigh as he littered it with kisses.

“See? Healed,” he placed another kiss, right where your scar used to be.

You used your newly regained strength to push him, flipping the positions over so you were now straddling him. You let out a pleased sigh, effortlessly pinning his body down on the mattress.

“I take that you’re all set now,” he smirked, his hands roving all over your thighs.

Gods, you were a sight to behold. Your wings were at full display, resting freely at your sides. Your dark horns, curving back from the crown of your head, were on sight too. That meant you were comfortable around Jeonghan. You trusted him.

“Not yet,” you said, grabbing his hardened cock in one hand, planting the other on his abdomen for support as you eased your pussy down his length.

“Fuck,” Jeonghan gritted, his hands flying to grab your hips as you started rolling them on him.

“What’s wrong, hunter?” you teased, leaning down so your face was close enough to prop kisses on his lips. “Lost your footing?”

“You got me for a second there,” he admitted with a smirk. “Didn’t think you’d recuperate your strength that quickly.”

“Mm, keep that in mind next time you kiss it better,” you said, trapping his bottom lip with your teeth, nibbling it softly.

Jeonghan moaned, your hips picking up the pace mercilessly, knowing the exact pace and motion that drove him insane. He closed his eyes, sighing out the euphoric feeling of being with you, like this, consuming each other.

“It won’t happen again. You’re not doing this to yourself again,” he said with a faint tone.

“You don’t make choices for me,” you retaliated, sinking yourself down on him with pleased sighs, planting your hands on his chiselled chest.

In a blur, Jeonghan grabbed your wrists with one hand flipping your bodies over, pinning your body with his hips on yours, his hand holding your arms above your head. Jeonghan moved his hips slightly, finding your entrance with his hard cock quite effortlessly.

Jeonghan gave a few shallow thrusts, stretching your walls, making your mouth part, giving way to a long moan. “Fuck, Jeonghan,” you groaned lewdly.

“Say it,” he hissed, rolling his hips on yours slowly, but pushing his cock inside you deeper each time he thrusted in. “You won’t do it again.”

“Fuck you,” you gritted, falling deeper into the puddle of pleasure he was slowly submitting you into.

“Say. It,” he commanded, his thrusts gaining strength, becoming harder at each motion of his hips on yours.

You wrestled his grip on your wrists, without using your full strength. “No,” you said with a hollow tone, the pace of his thrusts knocking the wind out of you.

“You fucking brat,” he spat, pressing his face on yours, giving you a hard kiss in the process. “Delusional little demon. Did you think you could get rid of me that easily?”

“Stop,” you gasped, shame heating your cheeks.

Jeonghan released his grip on your wrists, not letting you regain control by grabbing your thighs, throwing them on his shoulders before resuming with his near animalistic thrusts, groaning on your mouth as such, like an animal.

“Jeonghan!” you cried out, his cock reaching inside you deeper… and deeper.

“Did you really think… I’d stop wanting you?” he panted in between his hard thrusts, the strain in his voice telling you how close he was to his release. “I’ll never stop wanting you.”

“Jeonghan…” you moaned.

“Say it.”

“I won’t do it again,” you said, trembling on the bed, reaching out to hold him right before you came undone beneath him.

“That’s it… that’s my girl,” he gasped, his bottom lip parting, releasing a raw grunt. Jeonghan moaned your name as he came, fucking his cum inside you with sloppy thrusts until he stopped, breathing hard on top of you.

Jeonghan eased your legs from his shoulders, deciding to rest his head on your chest. The sound of your heartbeat resonated through his head as he took a long breath. Your fingers caressed his nape lazily, shuddering under him when Jeonghan ran a fingertip on one of your wings.

This made no sense. To Jeonghan, everything had been black and white. His world was rigid, surrounded by unbreakable rules that made him into the person he was until he met you. Now, he was but the shadow of the man he was. He used to hate himself for wanting you. You were the thing he was raised to hate, to kill.

He did everything to keep you away. He bedded other women, he drank himself to sleep to not dream of you, he flew himself to different parts of the world.

And there he was, blissfully nestled in your warmth, in your embrace.

“Would you hate it if I became human?”

“No,” he replied after some seconds. “But I don’t want you to do it because you think that’s going to change something between us. Some things aren’t meant to change.”

“How can you be so sure?” you asked with a tiny tone.

Jeonghan raised his head, curiously looking at you. Even back with full strength, you still clung to some human vulnerability. “I’m not sure,” he confessed. “I don’t understand many things. But I know that changing yourself won’t bring you happiness, only misery.”

“I’m just tired of this,” you said, and it did not matter that you could not cry anymore, he knew that the statement hurt to say.

Jeonghan got to his knees, pulling out of you gently to slump his body next to yours. He took one long look at you, reminiscing of what he felt when he knew you were slipping away. It was fear, that was undeniable, he was too familiar with that feeling. But never like this.

“I don’t know what to say,” he said with a light frown.

“How did you find me, Jeonghan? How did you know I was in trouble?” you dared to ask again, now your words taking another meaning.

Jeonghan paused. “I just did,” he said but rolled his eyes when you saw through his lie. “I felt something.”

“Jeonghan,” you started, your tone reducing itself to a whisper. “There is a reason why we can’t get rid of each other.”

He went rigid, his eyes coasting all over the features of your face.

“Have you ever tried to… kill me?” you asked, hating how your words came off while lying naked next to him.

“You’d know it if I had,” he said, taken aback by your questions. “Why are you asking me this?”

“There is a reason why you can’t kill me,” you said, despite how crazy you were sounding. “I know you’ve felt it…”

Jeonghan sat up on the bed, gripping the bedsheets to steady himself. He felt lightheaded. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Liar,” you whispered, sitting up next to him.

He ran his hands on his face harshly. “Stop that. This isn’t a game.”

“The last time we saw each other, you felt something,” you pressed, searching his eyes as he faced you.

“It makes no sense,” he whispered dejectedly.

It made perfect sense. The grip that you had on him was unlike anything else he had faced. Time after time he tried to run away, to put distance between you and him. He always found his way back to you somehow, either by greed, by lust or purely by fate. He never knew why, he was bound to you.

“Look at me,” you said, and his gaze found you. “There’s no point in fighting this. I know you’ve tried it before, I tried too.”

“It’s–,”

“Impossible?” you scoffed with a mocking smile.

It was a sick joke. A demon and her hunter. The lamb and the wolf, chasing each other endlessly.

“Is this why you thought becoming human was an option?”

You paused but nodded slowly after some seconds of pondering.

Jeonghan sighed, touching your forehead with his. “That’s a high price to pay,” he whispered.

He knew your next words before you uttered them, “I’m willing to pay it, Jeonghan.”

“I don’t want you to,” he gritted out his words, even if he did not understand, he could not stop fighting it any longer. “I like you the way you are.”

Demon or not, you felt something in your chest, tugging at you. “That’s not the problem,” you shifted back, looking at his confused face.

“I can’t have any ties to anyone,” he said. “Someday I’ll end up dead fighting something stronger and quicker than me.”

“After today’s events, I think it’s clear that I am chased by the same danger.”

“I’ll grow old, and slow,” he added.

“I would too, if I were human. No one would hunt me down,” you countered, not convinced by the obfuscated look on his face. “I wouldn’t have to feed from you.”

“You could die in the process,” he said, and that was the final reason he needed.

“Jeonghan–,”

“No,” he shook his head.

At that, you stopped fighting. You got out of bed, slowly picking up your torn clothes and putting them on without looking back at him.

His heart faltered, looking at you as you sat down on the edge of the bed, next to him. “Don’t go,” he mumbled.

“Give me a reason to stay.”

Jeonghan swallowed his words, taking a last look at your eyes. Something tugged at his heart, urging him to stop you. But you were slipping through the door before he could spring to action.

Fool. He was a fool.

› author's note: heyyyooooooo

once again i have nothing to say. i just need jeonghan on his knees, begging for forgiveness and mercy

anyway, stay tuned for my next hannieween fest piece!! next post will be loser hannie!! hehe

toodles!

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#jeonghan smut #yoon jeonghan smut #yoon jeonghan x reader #jeonghan x reader #svthub #thediamondlifenetwork #svt smut #hannieween's kinktober #yoon jeonghan fanfic #seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #svt imagines #yoon jeonghan x you #jeonghan fanfic #jeonghan fic #hannieween #hannieweenfest

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