#i made a dog toy noise when i first got this

[unboxt]

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

scotty :3 i love scotty so much scotty so cool (i'm not biased in the slightest)

this oc is owned my silly friend @unboxt …

blehhh !!

[millieisawriter]

okay guys <33 requests keep coming in (just got one for arthur/dutch x brothel worker reader,) and i love that but for some reason (i'm still a lil sick, woke up with a terrible headache) writing has been going slow :( so! not wanting to leave y'all dry i've prepared something like this :)

headcannons: RDR2 men as dads

including: arthur, javier, charles, sean, lenny

Arthur Morgan

considering his past experiences, he'd feel so grateful to have another chance at having family

this time he would leave the outlaw life for his family, now he knows being two things at once, a criminal and a good father, doesn't work

tries to watch his language around the kid, and succeeds most of the time

the most protective dad ever, like he'd fr team up with the kid against you even if you're trying to scold the kid for something she/he did

when i say protective i mean it – if the kid coughs he's rushing her/him to the nearest doctor

he sucks at fishing, but he would take the kid fishing if she/he likes it

if the kid wants a dog, arthur is getting a dog for her/him immediately

would let the kid doodle in his journal

bedtime stories for the kid that are literally about the gang's past, excluding the darker parts of the story

Javier Escuella

writes his own lullabies for the kid

encourages any form of creativity like playing an instrument, singing, dancing

his kid would be the best dressed kid around, he's always getting the prettiest clothes for her/him and teaching about the importance of a clean appearance

but the kid would think it's extremely funny to run from him whenever he's trying to get them to wear a new shiny pair of boots, they just love to rebel against him

tries to watch his language around the kid, nearly failing often like "mierrrr–coles"

the kid would think spanish is harder than english, so whenever javier tried to teach her/him his language, the kid would get frustrated at some point and just scream gibberish

then javier would pick random days where he speaks only spanish to the kid. she/he might be reluctant to answer in spanish, but she/he understands the language well. however, javier will NOT reply until the kid speaks spanish

Charles Smith

teaching the kid about how important it is to respect the nature and the land

would make any toy the kid asks for by hand

i think that's obvious, but he would take the kid hunting when they're old enough

teaching the kid to take care of injured animals, that's how a rabbit ended up living in the house ("temporarily" at first)

would be so happy to let the kid braid his hair or put flowers in it, or if the kid made a flowercrown for him

most calm dad ever, he never gets angry at his kid. he doesn't even need to yell, one look is enough for the kid to stop whatever nonsense they're doing

doesn't panic as long as the kid isn't in a lot of pain. like maybe the kid will fall or get a scrape or a little cut, and charles would be just like "you're fine, walk it off" but he'd say it gently

good at playing hide and seek, many times the kid would just give up searching for him or throw a tantrum because charles found her/him so quick

Sean MacGuire

terrible influence, you couldn't have picked a worse father for your kids

doesn't bother to watch his language around the kid at all, so even if the kid doesn't pick up his accent, they would swear in sean's irish accent

allows his kid to stay up late, eat sweets instead of a normal meal, encourages mischevious behavior

would teach the kid to gamble

his kid is literally his partner in crime, sean would teach her/him how to silently steal from people's pockets or how to pick a lock

getting a mannequin, putting a jacket with many pockets on it, wrapping it in things that make noise like little bells on a string, and telling the kid to pickpocket it without making any noise

the kind of dad that will purposely do something to embarrass his kid in public, but would also brag about his kid

would offer a sip of beer to his kid a few times because "that's not even real alcohol!" but you quickly smack the idea out of his head

neither sean nor his kid are allowed around matches after a small incident that involved matches and hay

Lenny Summers

would make sure his kid is well-spoken and understands the importance of education

takes the kid for trips to a nearby bookstore

at first the kid didn't like reading much, feeling like lenny pressures them too much into it, but eventually they started enjoying books

would raise the kindest, gentlest, most obedient kid ever, the kind of kid that never talks back to the parents

yet still he'd also teach the kid to stand up for themselves when someone would try to push them around

IF the kid did something wrong, lenny would pull up with "I'm not mad, I'm disappointed"

would never fall into the loop of "why" questions, because his answers would be so long and detailed the kid would just give up

[marlynnofmany]

Accidental Training

The animal cargo of the day was large and honking, but it seemed well-mannered enough. Picture a sea lion with tiny scales instead of fur, dark gray on top and speckled pale underneath. Bobbing its head in curiosity at the cargo bay and the people in it. The squid-shaped clients maneuvering the cage into place didn’t rate a second look, but they were probably familiar and boring.

Captain Sunlight, with her lemon-yellow scales and dignified lizardperson demeanor, got a lot of attention. She ignored the honks as she finished business with the clients.

Then I stepped up to see what kind of creature I’d be in charge of for this trip, and it exploded in excitement like a 500-pound puppy, dancing in place on its flippers and honking up a storm.

One of the clients said, “It does that sometimes. Have a good flight,” then waved a tentacle and left.

Captain Sunlight squinted at the cage like she would have liked to cover her earholes but wanted to put on a strong front. Instead she looked up at me and said, “Good thing this is a short journey. It seems to like you, though.”

“I see that,” I said, waggling my fingers at it, which just made it honk louder. “Did they tell us a name for it?”

She consulted the information on her tablet while the excitable creature continued to hop around. “Looks like his name is Freckles.”

“That’s adorable,” I said. “Hi, Freckles! Are you a good boy? Yes? Are you so excited that you could break a weaker travel cage than this? Yes you are!” I pressed my hands to my knees in classic talking-to-puppy fashion, which did nothing for the noise levels in the room.

“I’ll leave you two to get acquainted,” Captain Sunlight told me. “The hover setting for the cage is turned off; it’s clamped in place; the food and supplies are here; we’ll take off shortly.”

“Got it,” I said with a wave as she left. There was a chance that Freckles would calm down if I left too, but he seemed equally likely to make lonely wails if left alone, and anyways this was the reason I’d been hired in the first place. Nobody else on the courier ship knew the first thing about animals. “All right, Freckles, are you ready to travel through space? Is that new for you? You look like you’re in good shape. Let’s aim for no medical emergencies on this trip.”

Freckles honked once, which I took for a yes. He bobbed up and down like a dog inviting another to play.

I copied the move, and he did it again. I lifted one foot, and he did the same, honking happily.

“Good boy! I’ll bet you make your people proud by holding still for tooth-brushing, don’t you? Lemme see your teeth. Ahhh.” I opened my mouth as an example.

With a similar noise, the clever animal copied the motion. His teeth looked clean enough, with none discolored or missing, and he even stuck his tongue out for a good look when prompted. I found a nearly-empty container of treats among the supplies, and rewarded him for good behavior.

“Good job. What else should we check? Can you show me your flipper? And turn like this? Very good. And like that?”

He could and did, visibly happy with the praise and treats. He was a little calmer now that there was something specific to do.

The engines started up with a quiet rumble, which caused him a moment of anxiety, but he was happily distracted when I started echoing his honks back at him.

If this had been an inanimate cargo, I would have left the cargo bay already, but I had nothing more important to do. My job today was to keep an eye on this guy. So I prompted him to do more beneficial tricks, then when the treats ran out, I decided the container made a fine toy.

“Hey look, a hat,” I told him as I put the lid on my head. The container was a mostly-round thing that twisted apart into two equal halves. That meant Freckles got a hat too. And he was so happy about it when I stuck it between the bars.

Only one coworker walked past the door while I was entertaining the cargo: Mur the Strongarm, who looked much like the people who’d brought Freckles onboard. Mur paused, saying nothing. Freckles ignored him, dancing from side to side while wearing his jaunty new hat.

I held my own pose, one foot in the air, arms spread. “Yes?”

“Nothing,” Mur said. “Nothing at all.” He continued on his way.

“You’re welcome to join us!” I called after him.

“No thanks. I’m good.”

The short trip was pretty fun. Freckles was particularly taken by the discovery that his honks echoed when the container covered his snout. He could even balance it on his flipper like a hand, taking it on and off to test the difference in sounds. When I did the same and then gave him another treat from a fresh container, he pranced in place and slapped his flippers together.

As it turned out, he was good at repeating patterns too. We did some clapping games of the sort that human toddlers love, then I found a ball among the supplies and we were all set for the rest of the trip. It was even the squishy kind that glorped between the bars instead of bouncing off, which was perfect. We played an entertaining game of catch until the engine noises changed into landing sounds.

I was honestly surprised the trip was over. The captain came back in to meet the clients who were here for pickup, and I made sure to pack away everything into the supplies. Freckles made a sad honk when I took the container back, but I gave him one last treat, and that made up for it.

These two clients looked much like the last, though one was carrying a bag from the shopping trip they’d done on the way here. They were also more talkative than the other ones.

“…Had to stop by the battery shop for three different kinds of chargers, then the feed store for more of the special diet that our oldest animal takes, and there was so much traffic!” The one typing information into the payment screen didn’t stop for breath, waving several tentacles as she talked.

“I’m just glad there was a mask attachment of the right size in stock,” said the one with the bag. “Getting Freckles his air vitamins is going to be hard enough as it is.” He pulled something from the bag: a long tube with a concave shape at one end. “What do you think, Freckles? Can this be easy for once?”

Freckles honked, which could have meant anything.

I looked at the mask. “What does he usually do when you have to give him air vitamins?”

The Strongarm sighed like a deflating balloon. “He just doesn’t want it anywhere near his face. He seems to think it’s a game to avoid it, which is fun for him but incredibly tiresome for everyone else.”

“Have you tried making it a different game?” I asked, starting to smile.

“Like what?”

“Can I see that for a moment?” When he passed it over, I got the container of treats and rattled it for Freckles’ attention, then took a position in front of the cage. I held the mask in front of my own face. “Hey Freckles. Honk honk.”

He of course honked happily and shoved his nose through the bars, eager for his turn. I settled it against his snout — perfect fit — and he honked away. I pulled the mask back and gave him a treat, then turned to beam at the clients.

“What! He’s never done that!” said the one.

“How did you train him to do that?” demanded the other.

“Honestly, I wasn’t trying to,” I admitted. “But he’s very smart. He seems to like copying motions, and he’s definitely food-motivated.”

“Oh yes, those are the good treats,” said the client with the bag. “The new kind that my cousin’s book club host recommended.”

I handed back the mask. “Then you might keep these in reserve for important things, like rewarding him for taking his air vitamins. Though given how much he’s enjoying the new game, you might not even need to.”

The clients were overjoyed. They thanked me, thanked Captain Sunlight, and showered Freckles with praise as they unclamped the cage and started up its hover function. We helped them down the ramp, then they waved off any further assistance on the way to a flatbed skimmer with a loading arm. The guy with the bag of shopping struggled just a bit managing all the supplies too, but neither Captain Sunlight nor I were about to insult a Strongarm by suggesting they needed help carrying something. So we just waved our goodbyes and made sure they got everything loaded onto the skimmer before we closed the cargo bay door.

“Bye, Freckles!” I called as it closed. I heard one last honk, which I decided sounded excited about the skimmer ride to come.

“Well,” said Captain Sunlight. “That was fortunate. Good job.”

“Thanks,” I said. “I think they’ll all enjoy the vitamin process more now, especially Freckles.”

We walked through the empty cargo bay to the hall, where Paint met us, with confusion on her scaly orange face and a jar lid in her hands.

“Mur said to give this to you?” she said, holding it out to me.

I laughed. “Mur thinks he’s very funny.” I dutifully set it on my head. “Yes, the height of fashion. But I think it would look better on him. You can tell him I said so.”

“Okay,” Paint said, taking the lid back. “Why?”

Captain Sunlight huffed a laugh and headed off to the cockpit while I began the explanation of how I’d spent the recent flight.

~~~

The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come! And I am currently drafting a sequel!

[pinovapie]

DRDT Headcanons!! (1/idk)

Decided to post some headcanons for various characters!! (there might be some mild projection on my favourites lol) idk if i'll do more for other characters?? Also, sorry for less Teruko HCs,,, i meant to do 5 for each but uh,,, you can tell who my favourites are i guess??

Also, disclaimer, these are headcanons!! I wrote these before Chap 2 Part 2, they may be disproven and become out of date in the future!!

Under a read more to not clog up space,, also TW: (unintentional) Self harm

Ace:

He grew up on a farm.

His parents had a ton of kids in the hopes that at least one would be successful. Whoever got the best test results/ won an award/ has the highest salary (based on age, idk how old Ace's siblings are) was the favourite and showered with attention.

This meant Ace and his siblings grew up willing to literally and metaphorically shove eachother face first in the mud to be the favourite child. There was a lot of sabotage, insults and threats constantly.

He struggles to form meaningful friendships due to trust issues.

He'll hold a grudge for years. He probably still despises and talks shit about some kid who stole his chair when they were 6 or something.

He used to love animals until one day he woke up and the world was more terrifying than he remembered. The comforting bark of a dog is now a horrifying sound that sends him spiraling with panic.

He's overly sensitive to light and sound.

He chews his lip, bites his nails and scratches his arms/wrists when bored or uncomfortable. Maybe that's why he always wears gloves, to do less damage?

Nico:

Sometimes when it's too much they'll go non verbal. They're fluent in sign language as a result.

They sometimes judge the things people name their pets. They'd never say it out loud but they think certain pets have really stupid names.

They struggle with tone, often coming across as sarcastic and fed up when they're being genuine.

If they get postively overwhelmed (like flustered due to compliments etc.) they make cat noises instead of speaking (like meows, chirps, etc.). They find in really embarrassing.

If they are in a downward spiral, they'll grip something (their cloak, hair, a soft toy, etc.) and just hold on to try and ground themselves.

Nico took a couple skirts from the dress-up room to wear in private.

In a non killing game au, they'd join Rose in painting more frequently. They end up preferring watercolours though.

They may have a journal where they might talk shit about certain individuals in the class.

Teruko:

Despite her trust issues and bad luck with relationships, she's a romantic at heart. It may take a while for her to admit her feelings but she'd like someone to give her flowers and take her to dinner just as much as anyone else.

She likes horror films because she can experience the thrill without being in danger. I think she'd also like those rollar coaster simulators since an actual rollar coaster would probably be too dangerous with her luck.

She loves sliced cheese because she can avoid having to cut cheese with a knife. Similarly, she'll spread spreads with a spoon because it's less risking than with a knife.

Due to constantly moving, she owned a couple of those plastic picnic sets (the plate, bowl, cup sets) and had to wash them frequently. As a result she's secretly super grateful to Hu and Eden for cleaning after meals because it's one less thing to worry about.

She had to remind Charles to seperate his dark and light washing a couple times, even after the initial explanation of washing machines.

Levi:

He's on the Asexual spectrum. Like he'd never consider it himself but if his partner wanted to, he'd be comfortable with it because he likes making his partner happy.

He's usually trying to keep the peace but he will argue with friends or customers if they try to pick/buy a god awful outfit.

He worked at a boutique before becoming a personal stylist. He kept giving customers unwanted fashion advice that made their outfits the talk of the town. Word spread and after a little while people started showing up for the advice.

Does not understand humour or sarcasm at all.

He's fond of baby animals but would never hold one out of fear of hurting it.

In a non killing game au, he'd probably find out peoples fashion preferences so he can get them suitable clothes as presents.

He's probably the only cast member to politely listen to Veronika's rambles without wanting to throw up. He'd probably get roped into movie nights after Arturo and Ace triple locked their doors to avoid such movie nights.

Various people have caught him raiding sweet foods (sometimes even just eating sugar straight out the bag) at like 3am on multiple occasions.

[autismsupermusicalassassin]

Could you write a Miguel O’Hara fic where Y/n finds a lost dog and Miguel is annoyed cause the dog is getting too much attention?

Spider pup

plot: you find a lost puppy and you take it home and you starts giving the puppy so much love and affection that your boyfriend get annoyed by it but after a fight with some guy goes awry someone is unexpected help him

A/N: first fic requested and Miguel O’Hara x reader so I may cause him to be a bit off character

“Okay little one welcome to your new home “ you said as hold a cutest puppy ever during your normal walks in getting home from visiting a kid you were tutoring for their math when you spotted the puppy he looked so lost and no collar so when you took him to the vet to see if he was microchipped in case to contact the owner which there wasn’t so you decided to keep the little furry puppy to yourself and train little guy which you name her Jessica after the spider woman from the past . After all that you introduced her to your boyfriend Miguel O’Hara aka Spider-Man, A.I assistant and helper Lyla, which she personally adores the puppy right away but she returned to assist Spiderman in a battle with vulture. So you have to wait for him to get home to meet the puppy “can you keep a secret Jessica?” Your new pup perks her ears “ my boyfriend is Spider-Man and he is going to love you like you’re his own kid “ with that you gotten attacked by puppy kisses which you laugh with joy.

From the moment when Miguel came back from a rough fight with the vulture, all he wanted to do is to get his suit off and snuggle in bed with you. He heard the squeaky noise as he walked in the room causing him to look at a dog toy “what the-“ he was about to speak until a small dog runs up to him and pawing his leg . He was diffidently confused until rush out and picked up the puppy holding it close to you “hey Miguel” you kissed his cheeks “how was your fight?” After saying that he grimaced “it’s was fine I still got a few punches here and there “ he answered while staring at the pup “Y/N why is a puppy doing here?” You explain to him how you found the pup and decided to take care of her. “Plus I feel lonely at times” you admit to him which he sighs and he finally allows you to keep it shouldn’t be a bother right?

Miguel instantly regretted agreeing to keep the puppy after a couple of weeks why? Because you’re spending so much attention to Jessica that he starts feeling jealous towards the pup “why did I ever agree to keep that darn dog again?” He grumbles and lyla responds “ because you love her and the pup is adorable” he made a face at her as you walked in holding Jessica giving her lots of love and affection (even a mini spider suit) heck he couldn’t get intercourse with you without the interruptions from the pup. “Hey miggy , me and Jessica are going out for a walk” you told him “we will be back soon” he mumbles a okay as you left for a walk as Miguel is ready for his Spider-Man duties.

It’s wasn’t a hour after the walk with your new pup and went to take a nap, Jessica senses something was wrong, not that you were in danger but no she could tell something was wrong and like any normal young dog she went to investigate until she heard Lyla trying to get a hold on Miguel “ come on Miguel what’s happening there ?” Even though she is a dog and can’t understand what is happening her new dad was in trouble and she needs to find him to help. She sniffs certain things that Miguel wore the other day and recognizes his so she can fallow the scent as Jessica sneakily left the building without you or Lyla knowing.

Spider-Man is losing this fight of robbers and using enough of his skills that he has against the few but this one robber wasn’t giving up easily heck Miguel fang didn’t even have an effect on the guy which is kinda scary for him “lookie, lookie” that guy said with a disgusting grin as he picked up a exhausted spider man “I’m going to be the first one to destroy you spider man” as he about throw Miguel out of the building the robber dropped him on the floor as he screams in pain . “Something just bit my arse!!” Those word made Miguel look up and see what happened, what he saw was both funny and unexpected thing he saw, Jessica in that spider man dog costume biting the robber and barking /growling fearlessly at the man to save him “I got this “ he said as he finished the robber off and Jessica hops on to them giving them the scariest growl ever making Miguel smile underneath the mask “ I guess I was wrong about you little Jessica, you aren’t just someone stealing my girl heart away from me” picking up Jessica as police are about to come in to arrest the criminals “you helped me on a sticky situation , you are hero on this one spider pup” with that he holds the spider pup close to him not letting it fall out of his grasp as he and the spider pup return home

Back at home you woke up from your nap to hear nothing not a whimper from Jessica or any grumpy tired groan from Miguel which made you worried about them , you rushed into the living space where you stopped and see your Miguel sleeping in his spider suit unmasked but letting Jessica cuddle up next to him. That made you smile that both the pup and your boyfriend are finally getting along together.

~fin

a/n: my first ever request is done and I hope you all enjoyed reading this oh and also I leave you with this picture of cuteness

[miraculousystuff]

She The Devil

*Kinda short and the ending was a bit lazy but-*

It was the same as always. Marinette, straining herself over the high road. Lila, spewing her lies. And Alya, lapping it all up like a dog. However, this time Marinette couldn’t resist throwing a nasty little barb at Lila. “I simply can’t go to Mylene’s beach clean up because I have a birthday party with Taylor Swift.” she simpered, and Marinette saw an opening that was too good to refuse. “Like Taylor would invite you. She would rather accept a cigarette butt.” Marinette said, and it wasn’t meant to be heard. But Lila whipped her head around to face her, and soon everyone was glaring at Mari. “How could you say that Marinette? When I’ve been nothing but nice to you?” she whined as fake tears came rolling out. “How could you girl! You made Lila cry!!” Alya hissed, comforting said girl. Meanwhile, Mari just rolled her eyes. “Let’s go with that shall we?” she said.

It all would have been fine. If Adrien hadn’t walked in on them at that exact moment. “Let’s go with what?” he asked innocently. “Marinette is just being a BITCH.” Alya yelled, but Marinette froze. This was the first time Alya had sworn at Marinette, but she had to say, not too surprising. In fact, she was expecting it. What was surprising, to the class at least, was when Adrien spoke up. “Marinette is not a bitch! How could you?” he argued. Lila sobbed even harder. “MY OWN BOYFRIEND DOESN’T BELIEVE ME!” she wailed, and Adrien looked even more furious than he did a second ago. “I’m not your boyfriend, or your friend Lie-la.” he claimed, annoyed. “Are you breaking up with me?” Lila cried, pressuring him to give in. The old Adrien would’ve. Succumbed to peer pressure, and agreed. But he didn’t. Yet, before anymore could be said, the rage called Alya began.

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? DID MARINETTE PUT YOU UP TO THIS?” Alya screamed. Adrien was taken aback. “Of course not! I just don’t appreciate someone who claims to be my girlfriend insulting my real girlfriend.” he said, earning a gentle smile from Mari. They had started dating 2 months ago, not that the class noticed. Any trace of tears gone, Lila looked like a gaping fish. Maribrat? With her Adrien? Not going to happen. So she twisted it. “ADRIEN HAVE YOU BEEN CHEATING ON ME WITH THAT BULLY? I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!” Lila screamed once more. But she wasn’t going to blame it on Adrien. No. Her enemy deserved it. How dare she date her boy toy? Before Alya could yell at Adrien, Lila started to speak, while Marinette put on noise-canceling airpods. “It was Marinette! She seduced Adrien! In fact, she threatened me yesterday to stay away from Adrien!” Lila said through sobs. Alya’s fury turned to Marinette, who was still blissfully unaware of the situation that had unfolded.

“HOW COULD YOU!” Alya was in full on frenzy mode. Marinette was sitting at the front with Adrien (part of the reason for Lila’s revenge) and Alya thought she was sneaky as she stomped over to Marinette to kick her in the back. However, as soon as she touched the bluenette, Marinette grabbed her hand and judo-flipped Alya onto the floor. Everyone gasped, including Marinette herself. Alya got up and, before Mari could begin to apologize,  tried to punch her, but she easily blocked her attacks. Soon, Alya was once again lying on the floor, a now victorious Marinette on standby. Everybody was shocked. Who knew their Everyday Ladybug could throw a punch? However, now Marinette was angry. “What the actual fuck is wrong wrong with you. All of you. Verbal abuse. Emotional abuse. Physical abuse. You may not be a part of the fight, but you hurt me by standing by, in all this abuse. I wish I was never friends with you. I wish I never met you.” she said, her eyes welling up and threatening to spill as she did so. Adrien put a comforting hand on her shoulder. But Marinette wouldn’t cry. Because she was about to tear the class a new one.

However, the class didn’t seem to get the message. But Marinette was going to put a stop to it, once and for all. Everything started with verbal abuse. Whenever any of her ‘friends’ decided to insult her, she had a response ready that made students cry. Then it was emotional. Anytime they tried pressuring her, or making her stressed, she simply said no. A weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Then physical. The class had taken to trying to trip Marinette, or ram into her shoulder. Emphasis on tried, because half of them are now officially tripping over themselves to get out of Marinette’s way. Infact, most of the class were scared of her at this point. Gone was their Everyday Ladybug. Because they made her walk like an angel. Talk like an angel. But she always knew,

She was the devil.

[viviennevermillion]

ᴀᴅᴏᴘᴛɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴘᴇᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ♡

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contains: character x gn! reader, pets are allowed in the dorms in this one

characters included: kalim, epel, idia, malleus

warnings: none

Kalim is ecstatic about this idea. The first time you suggest this to him, he's so happy; smiling brightly at you and spinning you around in a hug.

He instantly wants to tell Jamil all about it. The latter is a little concerned about Kalim's ability to take care of a small animal; remembering all the times Kalim struggled to take care of himself without Jamil needing to step in.

"Oh we could adopt a camel! Or an elephant!", Kalim is already looking up suitable pet names on the internet. You take his hand in yours and squeeze it. "Kalim, my dear, I was thinking more of....you know...something the average person can actually take care of", you explain carefully and sigh.

The two of you eventually decide on getting a puppy. Very fitting for Kalim, whom you have once referred to as "the human version of a golden retriever".

You know that scene in the beginning of "Bolt" where Penny picks up puppy Bolt for the first time? That's Kalim, walking into the pet shop and staring at the puppies with such a bright, happy gleam in his eyes. You can't help but want to capture this moment, so you take a photo of him; Kalim gladly indulging you. He smiles into the camera whilst holding one of the small dogs up, petting it gently.

"So...got your eyes on one yet?", you ask, pressing a kiss to Kalim's cheek.

Kalim is gonna take home the puppy that's most active out of the ones in the bunch, much to Jamil's disapproval. But Kalim can hardly say no to his newfound little friend, the way the puppy immediately brings him one of the toys running around and expects Kalim to play with it.

Kalim loves that dog so much the second he takes it home. He loves cuddling it and playing with it. Sadly, though to no one's surprise, Kalim has absolutely 0 grasp on the dog and it will not perceive him as an authority figure whatsoever. If you want it to be potty trained, to stop jumping up and down at people due to excitement and not steal the other dorm member's shoes and chew on them? Congrats, that's your job now!

Kalim and you often take walks with your puppy.

It sleeps in Kalim's room so when you're staying over, holding Kalim in your arms and trying to sleep in on the weekends; expect a small dog to join you in your attempts to cuddle or try to catch your attention.

Kalim picked the most stubborn, active dog they had and now you're going to have to try and get it to listen to you. Crowley already complained 5 times.

Epel would love the idea of adopting a pet with you. He has a soft spot for animals. He's just worried about his dorm leader and knows that Vil would hardly be keen on the idea of having a pet at Pomefiore dorm. So if possible, the pet will stay with you most of the time.

Epel holds your hand all the way to the pet shop. "Okay, so, I'll need something that won't make a lot of noise, won't carry Vil's belongings anywhere, won't 'mess up my makeup' apparently and something that preferably doesn't walk around the dorm", Epel sighs and looks around the store.

His choice is made when he looks at the bunnies they have for sale. Epel used to have bunnies as a kid and he still likes them and finds them cute.

You chuckle after looking around the store alone for a while, finding your boyfriend near the bunny cage, holding a small, white rabbit that seems to have fallen asleep on his arm. "This one", he says excitedly.

Epel would refuse to name his bunny something "cutesy". You'll have to deal with name suggestions such as "Skullcrusher" and "Thundering Fury".

He's so happy to share this experience with you.

When he brings the bunny back to the dorm for the first time, Rook makes an off-handed comment about 'hunting', causing Epel to clutch the small creature and shield it from Rook. "Leave skullcrusher alone, I'm warning you", Epel tells him and Vil raises an eyebrow. "You named it skullcrusher?", his disappointment is obvious with his tone and he turns to you, "and you didn't stop him?" You shrug and smile. "He seemed very happy."

Epel takes good care of the rabbit and he loves sitting on the couch, snuggled up to you, holding the little bunny in his arms.

He wants to make its enclosure as nice as possible for it, buying little toys and tunnels to keep it entertained.

Panics if it ever escapes and runs around the dorm. Partly because he's scared he won't find it again or that it might get hurt, partly because Vil is NOT going to like that.

"Calm down", you put a hand on his shoulder, "we try all possible options first before we panic." You grab your things and start looking with him.

He's very relieved when your shared pet is back in your care. Vil actually found it and handed it to Epel. "Next time, keep a better eye on it", the Pomefiore dorm leader sighs; not seeming nearly as mad as Epel had insisted he'd be.

Epel takes you home over the holidays and brings your bunny with him, showing it to his parents and his grandmother. They reminisce about the time Epel used to have bunnies as a kid and show you the pictures of Epel as a young boy. "Y/n, we're so happy Epel brought you over for the holidays- oh, look, and here's him trying to eat the sand cake he made in the sandbox!", his mother exclaimed, resulting in Epel gesturing frantically. "Don't show them that!"

Your bunny just observes you quietly.

For Idia it's instantly clear that you're getting a cat. He's so excited about the idea, given how much he loves cats.

Also one who starts thinking of names before you even go to the store to get a cat, but simultaneously he's worried that he's going to settle on a name but then it won't fit. "It needs to be clever and accurate", he insists, explaining to you the list of names of his favorite game characters, "for example, this character, in the game, has a forehead mark on his face. So if the cat has a spot with white fur on its forehead, this name would make sense." "You're putting way too much thought into this...", you mumble and run a hand through his hair.

One of the few instances where you don't have to convince him to show up only with his tablet instead of in person. "We're making a major decision here. I cannot make judgement half-heartedly", Idia holds your hand and stays close to you as you walk through the village on the island towards the pet store. "But for the dorm leader meetings where major decisions about the school are being made the tablet suffices?", you chuckle and raise an eyebrow. "The normies are capable of handling these. The task of naming our cat is one that demands precision, wits and top tier gamer spirit."

Idia is ecstatic about the cats. Not so much about the store clerk who keeps trying to give him advice. "I- I'm sure we can pick on our own", he tries to shake him off as he shows Idia and you the cats with a friendly smile, "y/n say something please." The last part he whispers and you let out a sigh. "We'll call out to you once we've picked one. My boyfriend is a bit shy", you explain and Idia looks at you with wide eyes. "Don't say that", he whispers as the store clerk tends to other customers.

Idia picks a calm and quiet cat, perhaps a little on the chubbier side; one that seems sleepy and starts to purr and close it's eyes when Idia holds it in his arms. He also instantly finds a name from one of his games that fit the kitten. "See, that wasn't too hard, was it?", you press a kiss to his cheek. "You're right", he hands you the kitten so that you can hold it too for a while, "as soon as I saw it, I knew instantly."

Idia lets the cat sleep in his bed and you two often end up cuddling with it at night. He picked a very affectionate one.

When Trein reprimands him for not coming to class in person and catches him playing games instead of paying attention in the lesson, Idia insists he'll show up in person only if he can bring the cat for comfort. Because Trein has a cat himself, he lets him.

What Idia hasn't calculated in was the fact that small, cute kittens tend to attract a crowd of students asking to pet it. So he ends up surrounded by his classmates, stuttering about how his cat needs its peace and quiet. You have mercy on him and take the cat from his arms, dealing with the students in his stead.

The cat also starts a fight with Lucius, which Trein insists "could never be Lucius' fault". Idia doesn't know how to handle the conflict.

Needless to say, Idia was even more set on not coming to class in person after that. While you are sitting in class, you often receive text messages from your boyfriend, consisting of dozens of cat pictures and videos.

"Look at it, y/n! Isn't it cute?", he texts and you glance to the board to make sure Trein doesn't catch you texting in class. "Yes it is. I see it every day, Idia." "The magic of cats never fades."

For Malleus and you, the decision to adopt a pet was a spontaneous one. You two snuck out without the knowledge of his guards, something you insisted in front of Lilia was an activity you "definitely did not do frequently", and now you wandered the small settlement on the Isle of Sages.

Malleus was going on and on about an abandoned building you saw on the way here and you mused how cute he looked eating his ice cream with a small plastic spoon, his fangs flashing everytime he opened his mouth.

You looked around and passed by the pet store. From the window, you could see inside; observing a small iguana staring at you from the window display.

"Malleus....", you start, the fae prince turning around to check what you were looking at, seeing you point at the creature, "impulsive question, but what do you think about getting one of those?"

Malleus puts his finger at his chin and thinks about it for a while. At first he doesn't get what the point is, as a pet like this lives maybe 25 years if you're lucky and this seems very short for him. You remind him that he has had GaoGao Dragon-kun for even less and it still brought him a lot of joy he's glad to have and Malleus has to agree that you have a point.

"We could take care of it together", you say.

Oh boi

You don't know what you kicked loose.

Malleus perceives this as like, a very big bonding experience with his beloved that will bring you so much closer and prepare you for one day taking care of an entire kingdom together; something he definitely thinks about frequently and is more than ready for.

"Very well then! I would love this very much", he smiles and presses a kiss to your temple. So it's decided.

You come back to the dorm with a terrarium and a small iguana in your arms and the brightest smile on your face as you see Lilia. "We impulsively decided to raise a pet together", Malleus exclaims proudly. Lilia is just looking back and forth between you and Malleus and sighs. He doesn't even know how to break it to the queen yet that her grandson has fallen in love and here he is adopting a pet and probably planning his wedding in his head.

Malleus is super careful with your pet because he knows he's sometimes having trouble estimating his own strength. He holds it super careful and he's very pleased that it's not afraid of him.

He names it GaoGao Dragon-kun. You mostly call it Drakon but Malleus always addresses it by the full name. You go to the vet for the first time and she's like,,, trying to set up a file for your pet and she's like "what's its name?" and there's Prince Malleus Draconia who has to duck under the doorframe to enter the vet's office and made the entire waiting room silent with just his presence and he very seriously answers "GaoGao Dragon-kun" and the assistant of the vet just sighs and makes herself another large cup of coffee.

notes: trying to get used to writing shorter headcanons again because i want to post more often and like, my old shorter headcanons were fine. also just got my wisdom teeth removed (ouch) so expect headcanons about twst characters comforting you after wisdom teeth surgery.

taglist — @mochinee @moldy-cheeto @xxheartspadexx @rose-the-witch1 @endlessorrow @curekibouka-writing @kaeyafrost

[fairlyang]

Present 🏹

in which kate unwraps her present

w/c: 2.8K

pairing: kate bishop x f!reader

tags: 18+ smut. fluffy at first, horrendous ugly xmas sweaters, flips a switch, teasing, groping, grinding, fingering, sweet aftercare, more fluff, matching jammies and hats, hot chocolate

——

You were sitting in your living room reading a book with Lucky napping on your leg and Christmas music playing softly in the background when suddenly the front door bursts open. In comes your girlfriend Kate with loads of bags in her hands.

She dumps them on the floor then closes the door before pointing at them with a wide smile. "I got you something." She says and goes through her bags unsure which one to show you first.

"This won't be good." You mumble petting Lucky's head before he jumped down to greet her while you closed your book and put it on the coffee table.

"Hey buddy!" She exclaims pulling away from her bags to play with him.

His tail was wagging back and forth since he hadn't seen her all day because she was out shopping without you. There was no one to babysit him and she didn't want him to stay home by himself while you both shopped for hours. She feels too bad.

So you told her to go by herself which you would soon regret.

She pulls away and opens a bag, digging in it for a few seconds before taking out a sweater for Lucky. She gasps and holds it up to him, he excitedly sat down waiting for her to put it on.

She takes off the price tag and quickly slips it on him with ease. "Go show mama your new sweater!!" She says and points to you.

He quickly runs up to you and does a little twirl before sitting down, tail still wagging, tongue happily out. His sweater made it seem like he was an elf, with cute little red and green cotton balls on it.

"You look so handsome Lucky." You said and scratched behind his ears which made him tilt his head to the side.

"I knew I had to get him a few things and absolutely adored that sweater!!" She says excitedly, taking tags off what looks to be a bunch of toys.

"You have great taste baby." You coo, taking a quick glance at her, and fixing the collar on Lucky's shirt.

She then dumped brand new toys she got him onto the floor. "Santa!!!" She yells and squeezes the toy's belly, making a loud squeak noise that instantly got his attention.

He sprinted towards her and grabbed the toy out of her hands before running off to some other part of the apartment, toy still getting squeaked.

Kate turned towards you, holding something behind her back. "I got you the best thing I've laid my eye on." She says, standing up and walking over to you.

"That's only making me nervous Katie." You chuckle and she shrugs.

"I promise you'll love it." She replies and takes a seat next to you.

She then moves her hands and places a sweater on your lap. You grab it and hold it up only to burst out laughing.

"Now Kate-"

"Please try it on! Pretty please." She pleads, giving you your best puppy dog eyes which you couldn't deny.

"Fine." You mumble and get up, walking towards your shared bedroom.

You tried to take a peak at the other bags she had before she quickly spun you around and made you go to the direction of your room. "No peaks!!!" She exclaims, pointing a finger at your face.

"Ugh fine! All I'm saying is you better have an ugly sweater too." You groan and she gives you a thumbs up.

You walk away, entering your bedroom and closing it shut before taking a closer look at the sweater.

And of course it was an ugly Christmas one.

Because Kate bought it.

It was a red sweater with white snowflakes all over it, with green stripes along the entire collar, cuffs of the sleeves, and the bottom of the sweater. But worst of all it had a big gold bow on the entirety of the chest with a gold strip right through the middle.

Oh but the absolute cherry on top was the "You're welcome" tag attached to the bow.

How the hell Kate always found the weirdest of sweaters ever is beyond your knowledge. And how she finds worse ones after every year....

You sigh and take off the hoodie you snatched from her side of the closet before leaving it on the dresser. You then slip the sweater on and pray it wasn't itchy.

It surprisingly wasn't but it felt almost heavy? There was just so much going on and the colors were atrocious.

Sure it was the colors of Christmas but it couldn't be a sage green? Forest green?

It was all way too bright but the things you'd do for Kate....

You took a deep breath then let it out before opening the door and going back to the living room only to find Kate with her back to you.

"I swear to god Kate Bishop if yours isn't as ugly as this one-" you start but she turns around, shutting you up.

Your eyes widened and you brought a hand to cover your mouth.

And there was your lovely incredible Christmas loving girlfriend in an ugly Christmas sweater.

Somehow more ridiculous than yours but it was the tiniest bit cute on her.

So it technically wasn't fair.

She moved her hair back and grinned, "what do you think?"

"It's.... Ugly?" You say unsure what she wanted to hear.

It had different blue and white patterns along the top and bottom, with thick red strips along the collar, cuffs and bottom of it. But what made hers so.. different was the fact that there was a Santa on it.

With his sleigh.

And physical plushie reindeers flying it.

And colorful pom poms along the sleeves.

It was truly horrendous but the reindeer, the most ridiculous part of the entire sweater, somehow made it look cute.

Maybe only because it was Kate that was wearing it and you thought she looked good in absolutely everything...

"I don't even wanna know where you got them." You cut off the silence and she chuckles before taking a step forward towards you.

"Not like I'd tell you anyway!" She teases before reaching up and tugs on two strands of your bow.

"S'cute." She mumbles under her breath making you snort.

"Yeah right." You groan making her laugh.

"You make it look cute, pretty girl." She coos, wrapping her arms around your waist, pulling you closer.

But her reindeer then poke your chest and stomach making her pull away slightly. "I do have other actual cute things for us but I just had a thought..." she mumbles, leaning in towards your neck.

She left a soft kiss on your skin, not caring about your sweaters bothering each other. "And what's that baby?" You ask quietly, already having a slight idea.

"I wanna unwrap my present." She murmurs against your skin making you let out a sigh.

"Don't gotta say it twice." You breathe out and she hums, kissing up to your ear then nibbling on your earlobe.

"You're so gorgeous." She murmurs as she pulls away and quickly grabs your hand leading you to your bedroom.

"Eager much?" You tease making her groan as you walk into your room.

She closes the door and pushes you against it, slipping her leg between yours and with her hands gripping your hips. "Acting as if you don't want me to." She coos and gives you a little pout.

"You're such a tease." You whine and she grins.

"Good." She mumbles before going back to your neck but this time immediately sucking on your skin then leaving a wet kiss on it before finding another area to mark.

You moaned as she left another mark and your hands made their way to her hair, slightly pulling on it how she likes it. "So did you- j-just see this sweater and thought of this?" You stutter making her chuckle and pull away.

"Kind of. I know you appreciate a good dirty joke." She says with a smirk on her face.

"So are you gonna unwrap your present?" You ask lightly fluttering your lashes at her and she only shrugs before grabbing your hand, bringing you to the bed.

"I will.. but first I wanna see something." She says and you both walk to the edge of the bed.

"Lemme just see something really quick.." she mumbles and gets on the floor.

She brings her hands up to the waistband of your sweats and she pulls them down all the way. You step out of them and she whistles. "I'm so lucky."

"Speaking of-"

"He's fine!"

"Now back to where we were before..." she says and walks behind you.

Her hands were all over your body, the bow making noises that irked your ears but as soon as she started groping your tits you didn't mind.

Your ass was directly on her crotch now and you did what you had to and started grinding on her as she squeezed your tits. "Mmm Kate." You moan and she grinds her hips against you making you both moan.

"Bet you're already all soaked for me, aren't you baby?" She whispers in your ear as she pinched your nipples softly.

You moan and lay your head back against her, she leans her cheek against it as you relaxed into her arms. You continue your grinding making her groan and hump against you. "God you're driving me crazy baby." She moans and goes back to kneading your tits.

"Please-"

Without another word she grabbed you and put you on the bed with her jumping right behind you, literally.

"I wanna try something a little different okay?" She says and you nod.

"Just need you."

"I know baby, I know." She coos in your ear as she helps you get comfortable between her legs.

She makes you kind of lay your back against her then slowly starts trailing her fingers over your body. You lean your head back and buck your hips up already wanting her touch so desperately.

"Patience my love." She coos in your ear making you whine.

But she decided to be nice this time and gives in. Her right hand goes straight down to your already spread legs and her fingers start trailing up and down your soaked slit.

She bites her lips not expecting this much wetness already but then again it was you. And you'd get wet from the littlest of things.

You just loved Kate's touch so much.

And your dampened panties were proof of it.

"Katie please, I need you so badly." You whine and she hums.

You reached down and moved your panties to the side which made Kate chuckle before dipping her fingers in and instantly feeling your arousal soak her fingers.

You moaned and bucked your hips up but Late brought her left hand down and placed it against your stomach to somewhat stop your movements.

"Poor baby already so needy." She coos as the sounds of your wet cunt fill the room.

"Katie." You moaned and felt your eyes roll back as she teased your entrance with the tip of her finger.

"Shh it's okay baby, I've got you." She murmurs and slips two fingers in making you gasp.

Your left arm went to clasp hers which she was happy to see, you were just so cute wanting to continue touching her.

She slides her fingers in slowly then pulls them right back out making you whine until she brought said fingers up to your fingers which you subconsciously opened.

She slipped her fingers into your mouth and you closed your eyes, tasting yourself while you sucked on them. "Good girl." She purred making you moan against her fingers.

"Such a good girl for me." She whispers, giving you a kiss on the cheek before she took her fingers out and went straight back to work.

She slipped them in and this time didn't stop and started immediately fucking them into you. You clenched against them and you kept your eyes closed just for your immersion.

Her fingers always worked their perfect magic on you and you'd never grow tired of it. She always came up with new ways so you never grow "bored" but you never would anyway.

Her left hand moved up your body and came up to squeeze your left breast. You grabbed that arm and just held onto it, not wanting her to stop anything she was doing.

She started pinching your nipple as her pace went harder, faster. Your greedy cunt acting as if it hasn't been getting played with and just sucking up her fingers and enveloping them easily. "F-Fuck-" you whimpered and she kissed your cheek again.

"Feel good mama?" She asks and you nod feverishly.

"So tight too. I'll never grow tired of it." She purrs making you whine once again as she started fucking her harder.

By this point your cunt was pouring out a mix of wetness and creaminess juices, no doubt about to stain the bed.

But that was the least of either of your concerns as you tried spreading your legs out wider and it sure helped. Kate was now able to fuck you deeper but before she did she added a third finger.

At the new angle she was now hitting that sweet spot that had you passing out and seeing stars.

And you've yet to open your eyes.

"Oh fuck Kate— mmm god it feels so good—" you moan and grip her arm as you bring your right hand to play with your right breast for even more stimulation.

"Taking them so well pretty girl." She coos making you moan and you swore with just her praises alone you could come undone.

"Mmm Katie please- please-" you whined and she swore under her breath.

Her boxers were already a mess and your pretty moans were not helping her case. Not a complaint but god those moans drove her insane.

"So beautiful, fucking perfect." She murmurs and you quickly bring a hand down to rub your clit.

You rubbed fast circles on it and soon enough felt your orgasm approach. You figured out you always needed clit stimulation to cum until you met Kate and you suddenly didn't need it.

But sometimes it still felt good to cum that way anyway.

You let out a melody of whimpers and mewls as Kate's fingers were hitting your g spot harder now. You felt that all too familiar feeling in your stomach and your body began to shake.

"Cum for me baby, let go." She whispers and you do.

You let go and cry out as your orgasm hits you and leaving you a shaky, breathless mess. You move your hand away as Kate slowed down and left her fingers inside. You were breathing heavily and Kate brought her left hand to yours and held it softly.

"Did so good for me baby." She praises and kisses your cheek sweetly.

She slips her fingers out of your gently and you finally open your dazed eyes just in time to see her bring them up to her mouth. You look up at her in adoration and just sigh as your breathing calms itself down.

"Didn't even unwrap your present." You mutter and she giggles before wrapping both arms around you softly.

"Sorta counts."

"It does not."

"It should."

You then sit there in silence, enjoying each others company until Kate moves and positions you so your head is on the pillow. "I'll be right back." She whispers, giving your forehead a kiss before running off.

She came back after a few seconds and comes in with some plaid pj pants. "I got you red and green but because I know you love this green..." she says and takes the tag off before putting them on you.

"Perfect! Now I'll go wear my red ones and next week we flip flop." She says excitedly making you smile.

She was the sweetest and most thoughtful, caring person you've ever had the pleasure of meeting and you couldn't believe she was your girlfriend.

How you got so lucky was beyond you but you felt so grateful you found her because she was absolutely your soulmate.

The pea to your pod. The peanut butter to your jelly. The yin to your yang.

Your other half.

Because of her, you were a happier version of yourself and it was all because of how perfect of a girlfriend she was.

She finally came back only this time with her new pj pants on, a hat with the lower half of Santa, and two mugs.

Lucky came in behind her racing towards you, immediately jumping on the bed with another hat which he left on your lap. This one being a cute Christmas tree.

"See I have good taste." She says with a big grin.

"You have the best taste." You respond, grabbing the hat and putting it on.

"How do I look?" You ask as you grab the mug Late was handing to you.

"Absolutely perfect." She sighs and looks at you adoringly.

[bipolarmango]

Seriously your average person will never understand the struggle of office work for neurodivergent people.

Just today, I woke up already struggling because I had to spend the entirety of last week at the office and on the weekend I had to do social stuff (things like seeing friends which should be fun but I can't do both a full week at the office and see people in my free time, it's either or) and yesterday I was again at the office. Had my first minor meltdown when my dog tried to take a toy outside. When waiting for a bus and my internet didn't work I wanted to scream and shout and have a complete meltdown. I got on the bus and wanted to throw up because I smelled everything from someone's horrible perfume to breakfast sandwiches people were eating to just people's smell. There was a lady who started screaming at another passenger because he didn't move his bag and it have me anxiety because I cannot deal with overly emotional people, especially if there's a chance they start yelling at me. There was a crying baby. The bus was late which would ruin my whole schedule for the day because I wouldn't be at work at the time I had planned which means I wouldn't be able to leave at the time I had thought.

When walking from the bus to the office I was so on a verge of a total meltdown or shutdown that people walking past me where making me want to scream and cry.

When I finally got to the office, when I finally was supposed to start the day, I just needed to cry and scream. I was in physical pain. People expected me to be able to socialize and be nice but literally people speaking and walking made me want to scream and cry and literally physically push them away from me.

I'm expected to sit and work for a full day at an open office. I'm not allowed noise-canceling headphones or fidget toys because it's "unprofessional". I'm being told when I can take a break.

Because of no access to things like fidget toys and no possibility to break the cycle and go and watch Netflix or take a walk outside or something to come back to my own self plus the constant stimuli, I fidget in ways like pulling my eyebrows and scratching my skin until there's a wound. I come across as rude and extremely odd and antisocial because I don't have any mental capability to mask, except by being completely silent.

When I get home, I don't have any mental capability left for things like cooking, exercise, hobbies, friends, or even focusing on TV. I collapse to bed almost every night before 9pm, utterly exhausted, only to do this same routine every day all day.

And I'm labeled a "high-functioning" autistic (yet "low-functioning ADHDer). I can't even imagine what other people go through if my life is already like this.

[fluloa]

a few nsfw jake headcanons that no asked for but you’re getting

• always so touchy. kissing and biting and grabbing and tugging and groping. just anything to have his hands on you.

• adding onto it, it’s annoying how much he likes to play with your pussy. and it’s almost weird. for some reason, he just really likes the soft mushy wet texture of it, and the way it feels against his skin. just slipping randomly slipping in finger or two, lazily moving them as his thumb toys with your puffy clit. he loves how sensitive you are and how sensitive it can get.

• ass man. said what i said. just loves holding it. and smacking it. he likes seeing the marks he can get on you. he begs you to let him eat it out, but to his great sadness, you always decline with flushed cheeks.

• sucker for vanilla sex. even tho he’s one kinky little bitch, he loves taking it a bit slow, just kissing you as you gasp and mewl, closing him in with the sweet plush of your thighs.

• bigbigbigbigbigbig size kink (see the pun i just made there). he finds it so fucking hot the way your tummy makes a shape of his cock, poking out from your skin and fuck, it just makes him drool. and drill.

• loves the sound of him fucking you. literally, the sound of his cock going into your pussy. is it weird? he doesn’t care. especially when you’re on top, just the sound of that little noise— makes him twitch inside of you.

• that being said, his favorite positions are when you’re on top. just holding your hips, watching your body move and your thick tits bounce, it’s heaven to him. he can sit back and enjoy the show, while you’re panting like a hot dog. finds it so funny as he watches you struggle a bit, the desperation you have making your movements choppy and messy. even catches your tongue lolling out from your mouth. it scratches his ego a bit too, knowing his cock’s got you that dumb. moving you up by your hips, grumbling low in his chest, “thas a good girl.”

• mmmmAAHHH breeding kink. BREEDING KIIIINK. will be fucking the daylights out of you and so so close to coming, “sweet girl, fuck. let me come in ya? gonna fill you up with my babies. be a big family. ‘be allll nice and plump for me, mm…”

• cuckolding. will never, ever try it. just another guy breathing around you has got him on his toes. so when you want it rough, do a little bit of talking to another man and you’ve got it. but just a fair warning: you might be going human jake style the next morning (♿️)

• will never call himself daddy, but oh my gOd does it make him bust a motherfucking nut when you call him it. just being a whimpering little bitchy mess, mumbling a few quiet “daddy”s will have him GROWLING.

• when doing backshots, he uses your hair as a leverage.

• really likes lazy sex. sort of ties in with the love he has for vanilla sex BUTTT just laying all cozy and shit in your hammock, on your side as jake takes you from behind, his arm wrapped around your body as he lays his head on yours in utter bliss. ssssooo good to him.

• sit on his face. he fucking loves it. jake literally wants you to crush him with your fucking pussy and suffocate him. when first doing it and you’re a little hesitant, he’ll grunt, and grab your hips and slam you down onto his mouth. even pulls you down as much as he can. “jake— i’m gonna kill you,” you gasp, back arching as his tongue slips along your slit. jake groans into your cunt, “it’s how i wanna go.”

[lunarheslwt]

28th appreciation fic recs: January edition

Hi! Welcome to the first fic rec list of 2024! I wanted to put together all the fics I've read and loved over January for this month's 28th appreciation, so here they are! Click on the links for full tags and summaries. If you read any of these make sure to show the authors some love by leaving kudos and comments, and sharing any fic posts!

🌸 Morning comes by @nooradeservedbetter

(5k / E / Sub Top L, Dom bottom H)

The stranger gestures at what they’re wearing, and oh, it’s not a shirt, it’s a white crop top, black lettering star against it. It says I ♡ SUBMISSIVE MEN in bold, capital letters.

Thoughts: we simply need more pwps that explore dynamics like this, this was delicious, and I looove how natural the chemistry between them felt. So good.

🌸 Dreaming of a green Christmas by @hellolovers13

(4k / E / Size queen L, xmas smut)

Harry opens the wrong package by mistake and finds the sex toy Louis ordered for himself. That's not an opportunity Harry can pass up on.

Thoughts: its never too late to indulge in some christmas smut, its got size queen L ffs what are you waiting for!! Its hot, its a snack to be devoured, it's a little gift, in short.

🌸 Sweet baby by @jishlerfics

(5k / E / kink discovery)

“Haz,” he said, “do you like being held down?” Taking a shaky breath, Harry finally looked Louis in the eyes. “I think so.”

Thoughts: this is part one of a series that I'm excited to read. This is perfect and sweet and hot in every way possible, i loved it so much.

🌸 Revelatory experience by @justanothershadeofblue

(3k / E / religion kink)

Harry's not sure if it's the sound of Louis' voice, the thrill of the forbidden, or just that he's really fucking horny, but he's about to find out how well the velvet cushion in this dark little wooden booth hides a stain.

Thoughts: this was so fucking hot. Like, they're in a confession booth. That should be enough of an appetizer for y'all to go read this!

🌸 Jaerie's Kinktober: Sounding by @jaerie

(3k / E / sounding)

Louis has been casually dating Harry for a while, but tonight he plans to stay in for a much needed stress relief night of self love. He unexpectedly shares that particular love with Harry. When they discover this, they go all in.

Thoughts: so hot. We need more sounding fics. Meanwhile, do yourself a favor and indulge in this. Also love the lil bit of imperfect sex at the end.

🌸 With a sea view by @greeneyesfriedrice

(5k / E / boat smut)

Stepping onto the main deck, Harry grabs a maroon towel, squeezing all the water he can out of his hair, though it’s similar to how a dog dries off after a bath. He doesn’t bother drying the rest of his body, that’s what suntanning is for. He places the towel into a small bin and looks around. Time to find Louis.

Thoughts: so goddamn hot. But also very sweet and they're so in love which is a god tier combination. Laur never has a miss.

🌸 Heaven in these sheets by @thepolourryexpress

(3k / E / bunny! hybrid Louis)

“Bunny wants attention, hm?” Harry murmurs, turning his head and brushing his cheek against Louis’. Louis lets out a pleased noise at the feeling, ear flopping over Harry’s head as the man moves. “Please,” Louis pouts lightly, scraping his nails gently over Harry’s chest. “C’mon.” Or, Bunny Hybrid Louis has it out for his boyfriend’s phone.

Thoughts: bunny Louis is so sweet and precious, harry is the ever doting bf, and it just makes for delicious smut that also just made me feel!!!!

🌸 Mr Tomlinson by @canonlarry

(4k / E / CEO omega L)

Louis is a billionaire CEO who makes grown men cry and rival companies crumble. He's also an omega. Harry is the quiet cupcake of a man he calls his alpha and the only one who gets to see Louis as anything less than fearsome

Thoughts: powerful ceo to all, gets taken care of by partner behind doors is such a fav trope of mine and this one is SO good. I loved this one so so much.

🌸 it's always me that ends up getting wet by @loveislarryislove

(2k / E / role play, dubcon fantasy)

As Louis takes a step towards the stairs to look for his husband, his eye lands on the small round table at the foot of the staircase. It's thin and spindly, so they don't usually use it for much besides decoration. But today, there are three objects sitting on top of it. A blue policeman's hat. A small, silver key, that Louis recognizes as belonging to a pair of handcuffs. And a note, written in Harry's distinctive handwriting: I'm waiting for you downstairs ;)

Thoughts: this was so insanely good, I love a good roleplay fic and I ate this up. Every single word in this was addictive.

This is a short list, bc I've been really busy and tired. But I hope I get to read more next month. Anyways If you check these out, give these works some love. Fic writers I love youuuu X

[how-serene]

Soft as Cotton

Pairing - Bob Taylor x Neutral!Reader

Summary - After a nightmare shakes you up, Bob finds the perfect remedy.

Word Count - 795

Warnings - reader suffers from nightmares, comfort, fluff

A/N - inspired by this post from @upstartgeek (wrote this while doing laundry)

The sun would soon rise up over the hill. 

It’ll creep over the dewy morning grass, first awaking the insects. The squirrels, and other critters would soon come out, eager for the day ahead. It was said to be perfect weather this afternoon, a breezy 75°F with a clear azure sky. 

For now though, darkness engulfed your shared bedroom like a blanket. You sat at the edge of the bed, gripping onto the bedding. The shadowy corners only grew deeper the longer you stared at them. You imagined black inky hands reaching out, dripping with tar. Coming up over the duvet, to crawl over your body. Their long fingers dancing over your flesh, dipping into the curves and arches covered by your sleepwear. 

You shut your eyes, grinding down on your teeth. The drumming of your heart deafened the sound of Bob rustling behind you. The bed creaked, as he stuck his arm out and patted at the vacant spot you once occupied. You looked over your shoulder, Bob’s sleepy eyes blinked, straining to see the outline of your figure. 

“You’re awake.” He mumbled, his words coming out slurred and heavy. 

“Sorry” You cleared your throat, turning now to face him. “I woke up, and couldn’t fall back to sleep.” 

He silently nodded, rubbing his eyes. You could see him weigh something on his tongue, a frequent question he already knew the answer to. 

“Nightmare?” He quietly asked. 

You hummed, staring down at your hands. This was an ongoing problem, for most of your life. Something you had learned to live with, of course seeking help along the way. Some weeks it was fine, almost as if the problem wasn’t there at all. Then there were times when it threatened to smother you, like an overbearing mother. 

Bob slowly rose up from the bed, shuffling across the room to the double closet doors. You quietly watched him, pressing your hands together to stop them from shaking. He opened the left side of the closet, sluggishly searching through the stacked plastic drawers that divided your clothes. 

“Honey, what are you doing?” You said, squinting at him. He ignored you, seemingly determined to find whatever he was looking for. 

This went on for a moment, you watching him repeatedly open and close drawers. The only sounds invading the room were now his quiet murmurs and the neighbors dog barking across the street. He made a noise in the back of his throat, as he finally stepped back from the closet. 

Bob approached you, eyes wide awake. He perched on the bed beside you, clutching onto a pink object in his hands. 

“Uh.” He stuttered, looking down. “This should help, maybe.” 

Bob reached out, placing the item in your lap. You picked it up, running your hand over the plush fabric. It was a stuffed animal, in the shape of a plump pink elephant. The toy was bigger than your hands, and soft to the touch. It smelled of lavender, the floral scent comforting the buzz inside your chest. You brushed your thumb over one of its black button eyes, the cool plastic relieving your warm skin. 

“When did you get this?” You asked, looking up at him.

“I just saw it one day.” He explained, shying away from your gaze. “Was shopping, and it was in the window. It um- it was soft and felt nice, s-so I got it.” 

You smiled to yourself at the explanation. It did feel nice, now that it was in your hands. Your fingers sunk into the fuzzy fabric, squeezing the stuffing. 

“I don’t remember the last time I even held one.” You muttered, turning it over. Childhood felt so long ago, and you were never one to reminisce on it. Still, something tugged at the strings of your heart the longer you stared at the plush toy. It threatened to split you open. 

Tears stung the corners of your eyes, and you couldn’t fathom as to why. 

“I have a frog one too.” Bob mentioned. 

You pulled your gaze away from the elephant to glance up at him. 

“Is it also pink?”

He shook his head, chucking to himself. “No, no it’s just green.” 

“Do you want to-

He was already heading towards the closet doors before you could finish. 

You held the elephant against your chest, nails curling into the toy as if it might disappear. The morning sun was beginning to peek through your window, dawn finally breaking over the fence. 

Sleep had escaped you tonight, and you would be left to carry your dead weight around for the remainder of the day. 

The sweet lavender scent wafted into your nose, soothing the erratic thumping of your heartbeat. 

But at least for now, the nightmares were gone. 

[swaglet]

I'm sorry for your loss 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂 Could you tell us some of the things you loved about your baby?

i can talk about sooo many things i loved about my baby....... yapping about him under the cut

he was super picky just like i am and when he first came home he got too nervous to eat on his own for a few days so i figured maybe it would help him if i sat and ate with him, so then it just became habit that we sat and ate together for breakfast and dinner everyday and on weekends i was home for lunch i would sit and eat lunch with him too. it's what helped me start recovering from my eating disorder because i looked forward to eating with my little baby boy everyday to make him big and strong. here's a bunch of baby pics of him i took during his first week home

during the last few weeks he was with me i made sure we ate breakfast lunch and dinner together every single day, a lot of the time i was feeding him & giving him water with a syringe on the bad days, but when he felt well enough to eat he would get so excited to eat with me and i'd give him little plates that matched mine but he preferred to eat out of my hands and drink from a cup i held out to him

he really liked to share my cups with me in general, he used to stick his whole head in my drinks trying to see what was in my cup so eventually i just started holding them out for him to drink whenever he got curious (as long as it was something safe for ferrets). he would drink water and herbal tea with me, but he was not very interested in milk or sparkling water or anything carbonated

one of his favorite things to do was go "fwimming" and "norkeling", he wasn't a big fan of playing in water but he absolutely loved to stick his head under the water in his water bowl and blow bubbles with his nose and every time he did it i would go "he fwimming! he norkeling!" all excited and he would keep doing it and then come rub his soaking wet stinky little face all over me

i could always tell when he was getting sleepy because he would get "sleepy eyes", his little bottom eyelids would turn slightly red and puffy before he would even start yawning and i knew he was ready to take a nap because of his sleepy eyes. i would get under a big fuzzy blanket no matter where i was at and he would crawl under it with me and curl up into a ball and fall asleep as close to me as he possibly could and sometimes i would sing to him while he fell asleep or while he was sleeping. i even put one of his hammocks on the underside of both of my bunks so he could sleep in a hammock near me without having to sleep in his cage. he loved his hammocks. he spent a lot of nights sleeping by me instead of in his cage. jellybean preferred to cuddle with him to go to sleep, so she would always come find him before they went to bed for the night and he'd let her sleep with him wherever he was sleeping

the very first night i let him sleep out of his cage with me years and years ago, after i spend weeks ferret proofing my whole room, he woke up earlier than me and found out a new way to get on my desk (i never found out how he did it) and opened my jumbo bag of sunflower seeds and i woke up to the sound of them being thrown against the wall and the feeling of them raining down on my face. he was shaking the bag like a dog shakes a toy and they were going EVERYWHERE

he was very interested in cheesy snacks like cheezits and goldfish crackers, and i usually wouldn't ever give him the whole thing so it didn't upset his belly, but i would always let him lick the cheese dust off of things if he got curious while i was eating them

his favorite toy in the whole world was this sorta realistic mouse toy that squeaked when it moved, and i would tell him "kill it!" every time he picked it up, and he would scrunch his whole face up to fit the whole toy in his mouth and shake it around and slam it against the floor and death roll it. it got to the point that he killed it so hard the noise maker came out of it, so i put some crinkly paper in there and sewed it back up, but he didn't like it nearly as much anymore so i bought a bulk pack of them (it came with 25) so he could have them forever. now i just have 25 of those mouse toys and the one i sewed back together is on the shrine i made for him that has his ashes and fur and pictures of him, and the rest of them are on my desk. jellybean can't hear them so she doesn't care for them and tonka doesn't know what to do with them so sometimes i shake them just to hear the noise again

his other favorite toy was tampons in the wrapper, he especially loved the ones with cardboard applicators in the paper wrappers. for years i had a box of tampons that was just for him and i would replace his old one every time he shredded the cardboard to pieces. i think he liked trying to get them out of the wrapper

he was my ESA so at first i felt weird not teaching him any emotional support tricks, so i taught him to give kisses on the nose when people would cry, so every time someone cried (including me) he would come lay on their face and lick their nose till they stopped crying. he did that forever

he also was such a good boy, he knew his name and knew "come here" and a bunch of other commands, if i told him to go potty he would go sit in the litter box and try to go even if he didn't have to

while i was potty training him, he tricked me and trained ME to give him treats; for a few days i had no idea he wasn't actually going to the bathroom, he would get in there and fake push to make it look like he was peeing or pooping, and then i would give him a treat because i THOUGHT he went to the bathroom. nope he tricked me to get treats. so every time he got out of the litter box i had to check to make sure he went before i gave him his treat LOL. he was too smart i luv him sm

i think one of my most favorite things about him is that if he felt like his momma wasn't giving him enough attention, he would grab me by the hand or by the sock and start pulling me toward his stash (where ferrets put all their toys, it's a behavior they do) and try to put me in there with all his favorite things. bored with mom? just put her away. real talk though i think he would try to stash me because he loved me so much and every time he did it i would almost cry (or even just burst into tears) becos he loved me so much he wanted to put me with all his stuff. i was his stuff. i was valuable enough to him and loved so much by him that he wanted to put me with all his stuff

side note jellybean does that to my boyfriend everyday (stashes him with her stuff) it's so endearing

[aidensteddybear]

I need more baby space aiden omggg hes so adorable preferably with james or lake as CG but im ok with any character just aslo g as aiden is adorable.Like he uses these big puppy dog eyes and is like the cutest little one in the world and hes just an absolute angle ahhhh❤️🖤🤍

Regressor! Aiden w/ Caregiver! James

Last night, Aiden had regressed and gone to bed while being in a super tiny headspace. When he woke up this morning, he was still regressed and he was still feeling extremely little.

Thankfully, neither he or James had any plans, so the day was just going to consist of Aiden being very teeny tiny. James didn’t mind in the slightest though, he really enjoyed taking care of Aiden.

The two men had both been up for around forty minutes now, and were still lying in bed and cuddling.

James was scrolling through his phone and had one of his hands going up and down Aiden’s back. Aiden was quickly lying on James and curiously staring at his phone, interested in what he was doing.

James planned to get up and start the day whenever Aiden was ready, which seemed to be now.

He noticed Aiden becoming squirmy and a bit fussy, most likely due to the fact that he was hungry and wanted breakfast.

James set his phone down and looked at the shorter man.

“Do you want to go get changed and dressed for the day, then eat some breakfast?” James asked him. Aiden babbled and made a couple of other noises at him in response, making James smile.

“Alright. Come on, sweet boy.” James got out of bed, then scooped Aiden up. He brought him over to the dresser and sat him down on the ground, before getting out what he needed.

James got his new outfit ready, as well as a couple other essentials, and quickly returned to Aiden, who was staring up at him with big, wide eyes.

“Can you lay down for Dada please?” James questioned. Aiden babbled at him some more, but did lay down after a couple of seconds.

Before getting him ready, James held up some toy car keys above Aiden and shook them to get his attention, hoping it would keep him occupied when trying to dress him.

Aiden happily cooed and reached for the toy, that James immediately gave to him. Aiden held the keys and began to shake them, giggling the entire time he did so.

While Aiden played and was distracted with his toy, James was quick to get him changed and dressed.

The outfit James had picked out was a long sleeve onesie that was space themed, as well has a pair of blue jean overalls. He had also clipped a pacifier onto Aiden’s onesie as well, that went with his outfit.

When he was done, James pulled Aiden up. Aiden was quiet as he wasn’t playing with his toy anymore and had resorted to biting and sucking on one of the keys.

“Look how adorable you look!” James cooed over him. Aiden softly whined in response and threw his toy down, clearly starting to become fussy again.

“Oh, I know, baby. You need to get some food in your tummy, huh?” James said as he picked Aiden up and held him.

Aiden continued to fuss and began squirming around in James’s arms.

“Shh, shh. I know, honey, I know.” James bounced Aiden a little, before grabbing his teddy bear off of the bed, so he could something that comforted him.

He gave the bear to Aiden, who hugged it closely to his chest. He still kept whining, so James took him to the kitchen.

By the time they got to the kitchen, Aiden’s whining had turned into crying. The first thing James did when he was in the kitchen, was grab a premade bottle from the fridge.

He had made a couple last night, just in case Aiden woke up and needed a bottle. Though, Aiden didn’t wake up once and slept through the entire night.

It wasn’t all that surprising, Aiden was typically a really good sleeper, but with him being so little James did expect him to wake up once or twice.

When James had the bottle, he handed it to Aiden. This caused the male to immediately quiet down and take the bottle from James, before clumsily putting it into his mouth.

James sat Aiden down on the floor, then began to get everything ready to make him breakfast. Aiden was very little, so James doubted he would be able to eat anything, unless it was soft.

So, James decided to fix Aiden some oatmeal, since he really liked that and it was easy for him to eat.

While James was getting his oatmeal ready, Aiden was lying on the kitchen floor and drinking his bottle while watching James.

James put the bowl of oatmeal in the microwave, then began to cut up some strawberries and bananas into very small pieces, then mashed them up some.

As he did this, James could hear Aiden starting to make fussy little noises again. He had finished his bottle and was still hungry, since that definitely wasn’t enough to fill him up.

Aiden kept on whining for James, who was still in the process of getting his breakfast done. He had the oatmeal out and was mixing up the fruit into it.

When he finished, he set it down at the table, then went to get Aiden.

“Oh, come here, cranky boy.” James teased as he picked Aiden up.

Before bringing him to the table though, James grabbed out another bottle and went to grab a bib out of one of the drawers. Once he had everything, he sat Aiden down at the table and helped put the bib on him.

James sat down in front of Aiden and grabbed the bowl of oatmeal, mixing it up a little more and blowing on it a little, to make sure it was cooled off.

“Here comes the airplane! Whoosh!” James spoke playfully, moving the spoon up and down, before putting it into Aiden’s mouth. Aiden giggled at the action, opening his mouth for another bite.

James was luckily able to feed Aiden with no problem at all, and kept making him giggle every now and then when he would do the airplane bit.

“Alright, baby. Last bite.” James said as he fed Aiden the last little bit of oatmeal. Aiden happily hummed when he finished his breakfast, then grabbed his bottle to finish it off.

James put the bowl and spoon in the sink, before taking Aiden’s bib off, then grabbed him and carried him to the living room.

As he was placed down on the couch, Aiden babbled and showed James his empty bottle.

“Oh, I see! You’re all done!” James smiled as he took the bottle. “Good boy!” He praised, making Aiden giggle.

James turned on the tv and put on some cartoons for Aiden, hopefully to keep him entertained while he went to make breakfast for himself and do the dishes.

James made himself something quick and easy, since he didn’t want Aiden to be left alone for long, even though he was just in the other room.

He made himself a bowl of cereal and began to eat it at the table. Though, after about three minutes, he could hear Aiden loudly crawling into the kitchen.

Aiden crawled over to him, and reached out for him while giving James the biggest puppy eyes ever.

“Aww! Hi, baby.” James said as he picked Aiden up and placed him on his lap. Aiden squealed a little and sat comfortably on James’s lap.

James kept on arm wrapped around Aiden’s waist and bounced him, while finishing up his breakfast. Aiden was just giggling and babbling at him the entire time.

Once James finished, he carried Aiden over to the sink with him, then placed him down beside of him, and began to wash all the dishes.

Aiden curiously stared up at him, and began gently tugging on his shirt, trying to get his attention.

“It’s okay, baby. I’ll pick you up in a moment.” James said, looking down at Aiden. Aiden let out teeny babbles and reached out for him.

“I know, buddy. Give me a minute, okay?” James told him, before turning his attention to the dishes.

Aiden continued to just babble and tug on his shirt, which was distracting, but a lot better than him crying or whining.

When James was done, he got the dishes put away, then scooped up Aiden, causing the male to squeal and clap his hands.

“Do you want to play? Is it playtime?” James asked in an excited tone. Aiden only responded with excited little noises while flapping his hands a bit.

James chuckled as he carried Aiden to the living room. He grabbed a blanket and laid it down on the floor, then laid Aiden down on his tummy.

Aiden let out loud, happy babbles as he kicked his legs while watching James grab a container that was filled with his toys.

As James came over with the toys, Aiden put his arms up and made quick grabbing motions with his hands.

James set the container down and sat in front of Aiden. He grabbed a few wooden blocks and put them in front of Aiden.

“Can you show me what you do with those?” James questioned. Aiden let out a happy squeak, before grabbing a block and placing it on top of the other, then grabbing another and placing it on top of that one.

“Oh, good boy! You did it!” James cheered. Aiden loudly squealed and aggressively kicked his legs out of happiness.

James grabbed another block and handed it to Aiden, who built his small tower one block higher. James let out an excited gasp at his action.

“Yay, baby! You’re doing so good!” James exclaimed. Aiden giggled and clapped his hands, which James did as well, causing Aiden to become even more excited.

James knew most of his day would consist of playing with Aiden and his toys, then cuddling him during his nap time and bedtime. And really, that was completely fine with James.

He loved seeing Aiden happy, and if he was happy with being little and spending the day like that, then that was perfectly fine with James.

[lunapwrites]

I'm reminded of a fic I wrote a while ago, exploring the idea of Sirius and Remus getting a dog, ostensibly for Harry. The dogs in that fic were inspired by my own, with Stegosaurus taking much of her story and personality from Freyja. And what prompted me to write it (aside from a prompt from Imp) was the realization that Freyja was getting old, and sort of quietly contemplating her mortality, and the inevitability of needing to say goodbye.

With that said, I did not anticipate needing to say goodbye so soon, nor so suddenly.

I need to put this somewhere so I can stop replaying it. It's explicit and it's fucking sad and no one is under any obligation to read it. I just need it to be in a place that can be seen that my partner won't see. Because I lied to him, slightly, about the particulars. And I don't want to remember right now, but I don't want to forget either.

I wish that it had been quicker and easier than falling asleep for her, like it was in the fic. She deserved that. It was quick, true, but it was not easy. It was ugly. And she fought it.

She'd been sick, but was improving. Kidney disease and an enlarged heart, they said. All at once. Vet had us treating the kidneys first, hoping it would take pressure off her heart. And it seemed to be going okay. She'd gotten her energy back and was eating, even if not as well as she had in the past. She was playing with her toys again. She tried to steal my cookies not five minutes before it happened.

We were sitting on the couch. Feeding Bean, winding down for the night, getting ready to go to bed. She was curled up in her corner like normal. And then suddenly she stood up and she came over towards me, and started whining. Like, really whining, like I'd never heard her whine before. I still clocked the tone, it's just she's never been in pain before. She's never had to be. She started getting louder. And her legs started buckling under her, and she leaned her head over the side of the couch, and she just moved and sounded wrong, and then she made a noise. And in the fic I described this as "a funny little noise" because I'd never actually heard it myself before but wow did I undersell it. It's awful. It was like all the air got pushed out of her lungs. Worse than a wheeze. Like Christopher Lee had coached her how to sound like she'd been stabbed in the back.

And then she fell. Tipped forward off the couch in a way that no dog naturally moves and fell on the floor like she had no bones in her body. Head, limbs all at an unnatural angle. Literally spilled. She slid. Eyes wide and wild and she was still breathing. Still there, but not. Tongue lolling out of her mouth so hard I thought she was choking on it. Drool everywhere. I called my partner inside the moment she fell. She was still breathing. Weak, erratic, but it was there. I carried her out to the car and he got Bean in her carrier and we hauled ass to the ER. But I knew we were too late before I even got her out the door - she'd pissed everywhere. And I'd seen her eyes as I put her inside. Glassy. Tongue back in her mouth. There was no resistance when I carried her, and she hated being carried. Hated it.

Anyway she was pronounced DOA. The vets were very kind. Helped us figure out what to do with her. I left her there wrapped in her favorite blanket and I'm waiting for her to come back in the little box I picked for her. We think her heart gave out, and the vet agreed. She just turned thirteen.

My partner and I have been beside ourselves. We've had her for the entire time we've been living on our own, and she's seen us through every major milestone we've had so far. And she won't see another.

Odin is in a weird place. He's never been the only dog before. He was hoarded and then fostered and then came to us, and her. They didn't get along very well. She bossed him around something fierce. He still rushed to her side when she fell. He's okay most of the time but every now and then he just seems lost. Like he's waiting for her to show up and take charge again, even if he hated when she did. I left for an hour and he waited at the door for me too. For me to bring her back, like I had been with all her appointments.

I was able to open my front door for the first time in eight years yesterday without needing to manage a tiny, angry little whirlwind offended by its existence. I was relieved. I was devastated. My partner came inside and only one dog was screaming at him. Destroyed him all over again. I told him that she wasn't in any pain, and that it had been that sudden. That she'd just dropped out of nowhere. I didn't tell him that she knew. That she felt it. That she was scared and in pain for about ten seconds. Three audible whines. That was it. But that's more than he needs to know.

This sucks. I'm sad Bean won't get to properly meet her, because she was such a personality. I am really shaken by how sudden and violent it was, and the fact that she was within arms reach - I just was holding Bean and couldn't grab her. And mostly I just miss her. Like a lung. A really noisy lung that shed like crazy, and loved everyone she met. I'm fucking gutted. Between this and my mom being diagnosed with cancer and having a whole ass child this has been the most difficult summer of my life. I'm hoping, sincerely, that this is the last hard thing for a while.

Anyway I know this was a lot. If you did read it, sorry - but also thank you for listening.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 37 part one

(Masterpost) (Pinboard)  (whole thing on AO3)

Warning! Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Never Trust a Big Butt and Smile (Poison)

Wei Wuxian has gathered all the juniors together in the paper-offerings shop run by the corpse lady, and asks for volunteers to help him in the kitchen. 

Teacher's pet Sizhui jumps forward, abandoning Jingyi and leaving the field clear for Ouyang Zizhen to make his move.

He tells the other kids to stay put, but Jin Ling follows along to go make a nuisance of himself.

DLWJLF (Dad Lan Wangji would Like to Fuck)

Now we get to see Wei Wuxian in a new dad mode; not entertaining and protecting young A-Yuan, but guiding teenager Jin Ling to be less of a prat. On one level he is talking to him forcefully and generally not having patience for his crap, but on another level he is carefully teaching him.

Wei Wuxian explains that glutinous rice (aka sticky rice, aka sweet rice) can cure corpse poisoning, and proceeds to cook it up with every kind of pepper he can find in the kitchen, in a sequence that has got to be an intentional parody (full gifset here) of the lovingly-filmed food porn that shows up in so many Asian dramas (for example).

(More behind the cut!)

While the rice is cooking, Jin Ling finally explains what brought them here; they all came following a trail of hideously murdered "cats." The show avoids having to put an explanatory note on the screen saying "this is a digital cat and no actual cats were harmed" by showing us this ridiculously bad stuffed toy cat. 

On this occasion I genuinely appreciate the department of dubious practical effects, since I don't really want to see a realistic dead cat. But wow, this is super bad. It doesn’t even have paws, just weird stubby peg feet. It is probably made from leftover bits of whatever they used to make Wen Chao’s dog. Also, the MEOW noise happens right when Jin Ling opens the door, when the cat is clearly already dead. Maybe the cat's ghost is doing the meowing.

During Jin Ling's flashback, we get to see Fairy in action. Fairy is a special, extra smart, spiritually attuned dog. 

His powers include barking at the door when someone stands directly outside the door stringing up a dead cat from the rafters. I feel like maybe Fairy needs to aim a little higher in life.

Wei Wuxian thinks about the cat-murdering, and reflects that it's horrifying, but that whoever did it "didn't actually cause any harm."

Ghosts of a whole lot of deceased cats: easy for you to say, asshole

I'm still a little unclear on who actually did the cat murders. I think it was Xue Yang? since he wanted to lure the Yiling Laozu to Yi City, and couldn't rely on the qiankun bag of plot convenience to get him there.  Possibly he also wanted to kill and eat the juniors, like the clown in IT. I've seen people saying it was Nie Huaisang, but I don't think he had a motive to get the juniors to go there, given that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were already headed that way because of the spirit thingy.

When the rice is ready Wei Wuxian sends the kids to deliver it to their poisoned buddies. Wei Wuxian pauses to give Jin Ling a little more uncleing.

Jingyi tries the rice, which is absolutely loaded with spice, and asks if Wei Wuxian is trying to poison them some more. 

Wei Wuxian has the audacity to think "could it be that I accidentally spilled pepper powder in there?" Bitch, we just watched you dump a whole bowl of red pepper flakes AND a bowl of black pepper AND several whole-ass red chilies in there. Your memory isn't that bad.

Sizhui tries it and does a nice spit-take; then he says that the taste is familiar. I think this is the first instance of him remembering something from his time with Wei Wuxian, and I love that the trigger for his eventual cascade of recovered memory is Wei Wuxian's terrible cooking.

Wei Wuxian makes them eat it anyway, and then laughs to himself about it.

Young Miss Jump-Scare

Wei Wuxian hears A-Qing's stick in the lane outside, and goes to a hole in the wall to look at her. Once he's had a look he says "wow! she's amazing!" to lure the kids into looking. 

Jin Ling goes to look and A-Qing obligingly sticks her face right into the camera for a jump scare. 

Camera Operator: Damn, warn a guy, will you?

Next Jin Ling lures Sizhui to look, and A-Qing provides another jump scare, this time drooling blood out of her mouth. Then she goes back to walking in circles in the street while the boys all check her out, mostly platonically, except for Ouyang Zizhen, who is in love with literally everybody so can’t do platonic.

Wei Wuxian, fully in Wei-Laoshi mode at this point, tells the kids that they should look at A-Qing precisely because they are scared; as cultivators, they need to look past their fear and be able to identify things correctly. 

Sizhui, Jin Ling, and Ouyang Zizhen all take turns looking and all make different observations about her, and receive feedback from Wei Wuxian about the quality of their observations. 

Itty-bitty Lan Sizhui, hilariously, says that she’s only as tall as his chest. According to wiki.d-addicts, he is a whopping 7 centimeters taller than she is in real life. He has doomed himself to having to stand on a box any time he is next to her. Which, you know, he mostly won't be, because of all the death.

Conveniently, the window has a whole bunch of strategically-placed rips in it, so several of them can look out at the same time, like the Joke Wall on Rowan & Martin's Laugh-in. No I am not that old, but the reruns were inescapable when I was a child. 

Do these knuckleheads think they are hiding? Very subtle, guys.

A-Qing wanders around and bleeds for a bit, but then she hears someone coming and skedaddles. The someone who arrives is Xiao Xingchen, wearing a ribbon/bandage over his eyes, no guan, and dark robes. 

Wei Wuxian recognizes him anyway, because Xiao Xingchen is famously pretty no matter how he's styled. Also he has his sword and waves it around conspicuously.

Wei Wuxian immediately decides to rescue him, over the objections of Jin Ling, but has to move quickly to avoid being poisoned by the AfterEffects volumetric fog that covers the street. 

He also has to do a hella cool spell, with a mix of light-talisman drawing and poetry reciting, which impresses all of the youngsters.

 For some reason it also causes a bunch of mild squib explosions on the outside of the wall. He comes back in, super-quick, with Xiao Xingchen clutched against his side, warning the kids not to come near because "even skin-to-skin contact will poison you." 

Dude, we weren't planning on getting naked with your uncle, chill out.

He sets him down and whispers to him, calling him Xiao Shi Shu,小师叔 which is how he would address his father's martial younger brother, not his mother's, according to my deep Google-translated knowledge of Chinese forms of address. I'm going to go ahead and assume that Wei Wuxian knows the subtleties of this sort of thing better than I do. 

ANYhoo, Wei Wuxian lets Xiao Xingchen know who he is, without actually saying his name, since some of these kids might have good hearing. He tells Sizhui to get a bowl of congee. Jin Ling objects to helping XXC, because he might be a bad guy, and Jingyi vigorously defends him, saying that he was being attacked by corpses, so is definitely a good guy. That...is not how zombie attacks work, but ok. He also cites Lan rules about helping the dying, which is a rare instance of Jingyi giving a fuck about the rules.

After bringing the congee, Sizhui looks at Xiao Xingchen's sword and immediately recognizes it as Shuanghua, announcing it to the other juniors, who come racing over to look. 

The kids instantly figure out that the guy is Xiao Xingchen. They don't recognize him, mind you, just his sword. Sword fans, amirite? All of these kids are active members of the spiritual-sword fandom and can recognize swords they've never seen, but only heard about on Tumblr.

Zombie Stroll

A bunch of zombies start walking down the street at this point in a thoroughly un-menacing fashion, including one disturbingly hot zombie who looks into the window. 

This is to prepare us for the arrival of the #1 Hot Zombie, Song Lan. 

Before that, though, Wei Wuxian is going to do another spell to lock the door, so he slices his fingers open *before* asking the kids if they have any talisman paper. 

This is like when I start cooking the green onions for my protein-obsessed teenage son's omelet that I make every goddamn morning in a bid to always do the exact opposite of my own mother's shitty parenting before I check to see if I have any eggs. Crack the eggs first, Wei Wuxian.

All of the kids offer up their blood, which he doesn't need, but don't have any blank talisman paper. Why does he need paper when he drew the other spell in the middle of the air? Never mind, never mind.

He is unfairly annoyed at this, considering that he didn't bring any paper either. He overwrites an Already-Been-Chewed one that Jin Ling produces and uses it to seal the door, which totally astonishes all of the junior cultivators, like they haven't seen magic before.

Immediately after he seals the door, Song Lan drops in through a hole in the ceiling, that Wei Wuxian really should have thought about when sealing the room up.  

Song Lan strikes a sexy pose--oh, who am I kidding, all of his poses are sexy--and stands there being admired for a bit, before half-heartedly swinging a sword toward Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian responds by verrrry sloooowly booting up his flute and playing something, while all of the kids lunge toward Song Lan at the same time, and all get deflected and knocked down. 

The flute playing does seem to stop Song Lan from actually killing anyone, and they are able to tie him up with their magic shibari rope.

A note about how Wei Wuxian's powers appear to work, for those who find his abilities confusing. As I understand it, any skilled cultivator can make use of ambient energy from the world around them. This allows the use of talismans without needing a golden core. With a golden core, a person can store qi in their body instead of relying on ambient energy.

Wei Wuxian, as the inventor of Demonic cultivation Xue Chonghai? We don’t know him. is able to pull on ambient *resentful* energy from the dead folks around him and use it to do stuff. But he can't store it in his body very well, which is why he creates the Yin Tiger Seal. It's already pre-loaded with Yin energy and he dumps more into it to get it out of his own body. At least, he stops farting big clouds of resentment smoke after he refines the tiger seal. 

Episode 21: That’s-a spicy meatball

So, Wei Wuxian in Yi City doesn't have the yin tiger seal to draw on, but the place is chock full of ambient yin energy for him to use. Also the tiger seal 2.0 is in the room with him right now, although he's not aware of that. Is it weird that he can’t sense that his supposed uncle is carrying a giant chunk of yin metal? Never mind, never mind.

When Wei Wuxian sees that Song Lan is wearing the same black contact lenses that Wen Ning had before --well, probably not the same exact ones, the budget wasn't THAT low--he remembers about the nails in Wen Nings head, and pulls a similar nail out of Song Lan's head. 

Unfortunately he only remembered one of the two nails he extracted from Wen Ning, because he doesn't check Song Lan for a second nail, and Song Lan's contact lenses remain stubbornly in place.

Soundtrack: 1.Bel Biv Devoe, Poison 2. Coolio, Fantastic Journey