#i made 10 of them but had to cut it down to 4 rip

[loves0phelia]

Hi! I don’t know if you’ve watched part 2 of outer banks yet, and if you didn’t this request is a spoiler!!

Can you do JJ Maybank���s sister seeing him die and Rafe is just watching her break down and he’s comforting her while she cries in his arms? I’m sobbing over JJ right now 😭

Thank you!

Gone

Summery: outer banks season 4 episode 10/the anon

Words: 1.6k

Warnings: SPOILERS, death, grammar mistakes.

A/N: i also sobbed, i cant believe it and thank you for requesting love youuu.

The sandstorm hit suddenly. The air was thick, nearly solid with dust. You stumbled forward as the wind blew strongly, You screamed, begging JJ to come down before something terrible would happen but even if you pulled the scarf tighter across your nose and mouth every breath felt like swallowing shards of glass making it hard to speak. 

Everything was clouded and your goggles were smeared with sand dust. It was impossible to see your brother who was up high on that statue trying to find the blue crown you, the pogues and Rafe have been risking your lives for.

“Come down JJ!” You screamed as loud as you could, hoping he could hear you over the screaming wind. 

A surge of panic rose in you, he wasn't listening, only going higher and higher to reach the top.

“Hurry please!” You screamed again as the sandstorm was getting worse and worse. Squinting your eyes you could see JJ finally descending the statue after a while, carefully holding on to the rock.

“JJ, holy shit are you okay?” You rushed forward to him as he stumbled around frantically.

“I'm good! I'm better actually, I'm great. Look!” he yelled over the storm and held up the blue crown, it felt like a dream having it in front of you.

“No way, you found it” You both looked down at the dusty historical crown in silence for a second, sinking in it the victory that was so rare when it came to you and your twin.

“We got it!” He cheered, pumping his fist, jumping into place from all the adrenaline. The victory cheers didn't last long though, the next thing you knew shots were fired at you from the group who wanted to steal what was rightfully yours.

“Run, run, run” JJ shouted behind you as you ran through the sand blindly and desperate to find shelter.

The sandstorm roared with life around you, Yours and JJ's footsteps vanished almost as quickly as you made them, erased by the wind.

You coughed, your lungs stinging as you struggled to run down the stairs you had found leading inside the monument. 

But suddenly, a shadow appeared out of the storm. A strong hand gripped your forearms and in a sudden movement, your back was pressed on your “father's” chest, an arm around your neck holding on tightly, cutting your airflow and a sharp blade pressed into the side of your face.

“JJ!” you called out, trying to get out of his grasp.

“Let her go!” JJ shouted, his voice trembling with anger. He lunged towards you trying to rip you away from him but he only pressed the blade harder making you cry out. But Groff only shook his head.

You cried, struggling, and your heart pounding as Groff’s grip tightened. You fought against him, but his hold was unbreakable.

“You’re just like your mother,” Groff hissed, his gaze cold and unmoved. “Always standing in my way. Well, this time, you’re not going to stop me. Give me what I want”

“Let her go” He begged.

“If you had listened, we wouldn't be here JJ, you could have had everything. WE could have had the life we deserved as a family. All three of us. But now you get nothing. Nothing at all” Chandler pants like a maniac.

“I already have everything,” JJ says, shaking his head in disbelief. “I have everything I ever wanted. You want the crown? Sure, take it. I don't want it. Just let my sister go.”

“Give it to me, hold it out” He reached toward JJ for the precious object, his grip on you not loosening.

In a swift moment, an exchange was made. Groff grasped the crown, and JJ pulled you out of his arms.

“I got you” JJ breathed out with relief, like a weight was removed from his shoulders. He hugged you protectively. Holding your head against his shoulder like a shield. But then again, the victory was cut short.

“JJ, y/n” you were interrupted by the voice of your father, his call made both of you separate and turn to face him, JJ’s body still shielding you from further harm.

“It's a shame…you and I” You furrowed your brows and a gasp came out of your mouth when the sound of flesh being pierced rang out. 

“You should have given me the rope” Time was moving at a slow pace as the scene unfolded. Groff twisted the knife in JJ's stomach before pulling it out rapidly and running out into the desert.

"JJ!" You screamed, your voice raw with terror. You saw JJ stumble back, his hands flying to his side. Dark red blood was spreading through his shirt and across his fingers, and the sight of it hit you like a punch to the gut.

The world narrowed to the scene in front of you as you watched JJ fall, his face contorted in pain. 

“No, no, no” you cried, desperation thick in your voice.

You rushed to JJ’s side, catching him just as he stumbled. He looked up at you, his face pale and stained with tears.

“It's okay JJ, it's okay” You pressed into his wound, shaking terribly, sobbing when he let out a pained groan.

“No, please” you murmured, pressing your hand over the wound in a desperate attempt to slow the bleeding. “You’re going to be okay. Just stay with me, okay? Stay with me.”

“Hey, hey,” He whispered, his voice breaking. “Take care of the others for me, okay?”

“No! No” Your breaths shakes, your chest tight with sadness.

“I love you, y/n. You're the best sister anyone could ever have.” His gaze was beginning to drift, his eyes unfocused, and the strength in his grip was fading. Panic clawed at you.

“I love you, please don't go” you begged, but it was pointless he was already gone.

“No! No, no. Please! JJ, please” you shaked his shoulder weakly.

“John B!” You screamed, your chest burning from the lack of oxygen your lungs were getting.

“Pope! Rafe!” Your hands gripped your brother refusing to let go.

“Please JJ!” Your heart shattered completely, a part of you gone forever. Your brother, your twin, your best friend, the other half of your soul, gone. 

“Please” You pressed your forehead against him, your tears falling over the blood-soaked shirt.

The pogues came running towards you, sinking to their knees, calling out to him, crying, sobbing, mourning.

Everything in you gave out as you held onto him, you couldn't even fight when hands grabbed onto your shoulder to bring you away from your brother's corpse.

Your body fell limp into Rafe's lap. His hands held your body up as if he was your lifeline. 

“It's gonna be okay” He whispered against your forehead but you barely registered any of it, only sobbing, and screaming in pain against him. 

The Pogues stood in a tight circle, all eyes fixed on JJ as if somehow their stares alone could bring him back. But no one spoke, and in the heavy silence, the truth crashed over them, settling deep in their bones. JJ was gone.

Kiara’s shoulders shook, a small, trembling motion that quickly overtook her entire body. She fell to her knees, hands pressed to her mouth as she fought to hold back the sobs. 

Pope was beside her, his eyes frantically looking over the scene, he didn't want to believe any of it, as if it was a cruel joke.

John B stood, rigid.  His fists were clenched so tight his knuckles were white, and his jaw was set, teeth gritted as he tried to hold it all in, to keep the pain from breaking him apart. 

Rafe's arms wrapped around you gently, his hand resting on the back of your head as he let you fall into his chest. You buried your face in his shoulder, the grief and sorrow pouring out in waves as he held you.

He didn’t speak of the rivalry, the old wounds and the bitterness between your families; none of that mattered now. At this moment, all he saw was your pain, and he was there, his own heart breaking a little as he watched you crumble.

When the sobs finally subsided, leaving you weak and exhausted, Rafe pulled back slightly, brushing a strand of hair from your face, his eyes filled with something you’d never seen in him before—softness, understanding. 

“It's okay,” he murmured, his voice a promise, his hand gentle as he brushed a stray tear from your cheek. “I’ve got you.”

You sat on the sand as a fire crackled in front of you, you had just buried him, the silence was thick nobody wanted to believe the truth. 

Your head pounded, even when you were softly laying on Rafe's legs using them as pillows. His calloused fingers gently rubbed your hair and you tried to concentrate on the movement in an attempt to forget about the previous moment but you failed.

“Groff said he was going to Lisbon” Rafe whispered above you, making your eyes open and looking up at him. His eyes met yours and he continued.

“If he was my friend or my brother… I would go after the guy that just killed him” The mention made your heart burn but he had a point.

“He's not wrong” Kie whispered, agreeing with your inner thoughts. You snuggled against Rafe's legs one last time before sitting up and leaning your head on his shoulder. 

“JJ would already be on his way to kill him if it was one of us,” you said and everyone's eyes snapped towards you, those were the first words you had spoken since it happened. 

“He'd get even,” John B added.

“Let's get revenge,” you said, your voice more confident than it was before, you felt a hand grasp onto yours and slowly you turned your head to face Rafe. He nodded and tightened his grip in a comforting way, never letting go.

Send request please xx

[amid-fandoms]

𝓅𝓇𝑒𝒸𝒾𝑜𝓊𝓈 𝒷𝒶𝒷𝓎 𝒶𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓁

[buckrecs]

2023 𝙗𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙮 𝙗𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙘 𝙧𝙚𝙘 2

masterlist | ✨- fav fics | status - complete

All of them are COMPLETE Series.

1. Chicken by @delusionalwriterr

Bucky x Reader

You and Bucky Barnes shared a strange relationship with each other and the team was getting tired of it. When a mission goes wrong, will you be forced to admit your feelings for each other or will they remain buried?

2. sweet reverie by @demxters

College!Bucky x Reader

bucky asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend for the weekend but after what you thought was sweeter than a dream has you facing a harsher reality.

3. The Time of the Prey by @subwaysurf45 ✨

Knight!Bucky x Princess!Reader

The younger sister of the most talked about princess in the kingdoms really can’t do much except smile and nod. When Natasha, your sister, finally goes to moves all of you to Shieldshire to marry her beloved Prince Steve you are left with your art, all alone. But one Knight took it upon himself to keep you company, and that company was all you needed to get through wedding season. Will that company last or will it be ripped away from the both of you? A war is starting and it seems targets are being made. 

4. super rich kids by @traitorjoelite

College!Bucky x Reader

kids with too much money, parties every night, and an incident with your best friend’s brother is just the norm on the upper east side.

5. Bring You Home by @sunflowersoldat ✨

Bucky x Reader

Y/N travels back in time to get Steve’s help for one last mission, but not everything goes as planned.

6. The Colour of Rain by @delaber

Bucky x Reader

On the run from his violent past, Bucky has sought refuge in a small town in Mexico where he enjoys the peace and quiet of not understanding a word of Spanish. A peace that is violently disturbed when he runs into the most annoying woman he has ever met.

7. All The King’s Men by @nastybuckybarnes ✨

Alpha!King!Bucky x Omega!Reader

Your father always said that if it weren’t for your presentation, he’d think you were an Alpha. There’s a reason for that. Growing up in a world where Omegas are treated like garbage, you’ve fought for the respect that you have. Until you’re sold off to an old King desperate for a bride. But you will not lay down and present for your new husband. No, you will fight back.

8. Peaches by @noctumbra

DBF!Bucky x Reader

what they were doing was wrong, both of them knew that. it had to be kept as a secret. not everyone would understand what they have, she knew that much. they’d look at them and see an older man misleading a girl so much younger than him. it wasn’t the thing, though. that had never been the thing. it wasn’t misleading, taking advantage ─whatever they called their situation. it was love. forbidden, not-society-friendly, but love. 

9. Sweet Dreams by @abovethesmokestacks ✨

Bucky x Baker!Reader

Sometimes you start talking with someone, and you realize you share an interest and a wish for a certain supersoldier to be cut som slack. Enter cupcakes.

10. Fuck Up The Friendship by @summerofsnowflakes

Bucky x Reader College AU

Fed up with having your feelings played with you decide to have some fun with a with your friend Steve.

11. A Sweet Old Fashioned Notion by @sidepartskinnyjeans

Bucky x Reader

As the dust settles on the second 'snap' Bucky has been getting to know Brooklyn again. His neighbourhood has changed a lot, but it's changed for you too since you got blipped back. Bucky is still pretty old fashiond at heart, there were things he expected from life, to get married, to have a family. Simple things that seem far away now especially when online dating is so hard. Maybe something more traditional would be good for both of you.

12. Soldier, My Soldier by @cryptidcasanova

Winter Soldier!Bucky x Reader

“I am the writing on the wall, the whisper in the air. Without these things I am nothing. So now, I must shed blood.” He lulled at the base of your throat. “Sweetheart, come with me.”

13. Homesick at space camp by @atlaese

Bucky x Avenger!Reader

dying on a cold spaceship lightyears away from home wasn't what you expected

14. Spirits in the House by @redgillan

Detective!Bucky x Reader

Reader is in a coma after a car accident. Bucky moves into your apartment and find your spirit still hanging around.

15. Sugary Sweet by @all1e23

Sugar Daddy!Bucky x Reader

Is it all just sugar or something more? 

16. Missing Piece by @likeahorribledream

Bucky x Reader

When Bucky first arrived to the compound, Steve was his only friend and the only person he trusted himself around. That is until Steve introduces him to you, his best friend. Bucky was fascinated by how often you and Steve would hug each other. It had been a very long time since anyone had touched him in such a loving way and it didn’t take long before Bucky found himself craving your touch, but whenever you’d get too close he would flinch as if someone had hit him. His trauma still too fresh a wound for him to be comfortable with someone touching him. Then one day, he finally fights his instincts and let you touch him. He hadn’t realized how truly touch starved he was until he feels the warmth of your skin against his. Something clicks for the both of you in that moment, you had found your missing piece. As long as you were with each other, you were home. You both tried to fool yourselves into thinking you were just friends, really close friends. Friends that needed to be together almost every minute of every day and who needed to hold each other to be able to sleep at night.

17. Metal Arm and Short Skirts by @buckyarchives

Bucky x Doctor!Reader

waltzing in as the new head of the Avenger's medical division, impressing everyone, and... scaring Bucky with your incredibly short skirts. Bucky's having a hard time looking at his arm as anything other than a deadly weapon, and you're more than happy to help him.

18. Scars by @chickenfics ✨

Bucky x Reader Western AU

Running from a past that haunts you and a future that is unsure, the last thing you wanted was to take up with a stranger. Strangers, you'd learned, are almost always more trouble than they're worth. But when dangers from the life you're trying to leave behind get too close for comfort, drastic times call for drastic measures, and the stranger you'd once feared becomes the only person you can trust -- and perhaps the only person you'd call your friend. Now you both just have to make it out alive... 

19. The Color of Blood by @theidiotwhowritesthings

Bucky x Agent!Reader Soulmate AU

In this world, a person didn’t discover color until they locked eyes with their soulmate. As an agent of SHIELD, finding your soulmate was hardly a priority. Especially since you were currently dealing with the shocking discovery that HYDRA had been pulling the strings behind SHIELD actions this entire time. Life was all about timing, and you were about to find out that your timing was absolute shit.

20. Everybody’s Watching Him (But He’s Looking At Her) by @writing-for-marvel

Actor!Bucky x Assistant!Reader

The entire world’s eyes are on movie star Bucky Barnes, what he’s wearing, who he’s dating, even the mystery behind why he needs a prosthetic arm - but Bucky doesn’t care about all that, he’s only got one thing on his mind, you.

21. 27 Dresses by @beccaanne814

Bucky x Reader Modern AU

You are the epitome of “always a bridesmaid, never a bride.” You think you know what love is, but sometimes you can’t see what’s right in front of you.

22. Heal by @chucksfavouriteprophet

Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader

For months you managed to distance yourself from Bucky Barnes, the alpha you long for. But one night you have no choice but to comfort him, something which brings out emotions in both of you. Except it also brings out emotions in the Winter Solider, which results in a devastating turn of events that neither of you might be able to come back from.

23. Dangerous Woman by @samthemarvelfan

Bucky x Reader

You know he blames you, but you never thought he’d hate you.

24. Witness Protection by @mymoonagedaydream

Bucky x Reader

You'd only been living in New York for a few weeks when Natasha introduced you to James Barnes, the man who’d change your life forever.

25. Everything’s Better in Westview by @espinosaurusrexex ✨

Bucky x Reader

Bucky and Y/N sneak into Westview to have the perfect life. Away from late Steve and Tony, Vision and Natasha, they let themselves be consumed by suburban magic. To their surprise, however, some of these people aren’t so dead in the town. And there are some other weird things happening that make them question their sanity. But that’s okay, right? ‘Cause everything’s better in Westview.

26. Trying by @moonlight-prose

Bucky x Reader

Bucky Barnes was a new person. He survived a war with Thanos, finally getting rid of his triggers, and losing his best friend. He didn’t think there was anything else to survive. That is until he meets you in a bookstore and you become something he is scared of losing. An old villain has shown himself and suddenly you are the target of a new ploy to bring the Winter Soldier back.

27. unconventional methods by @marvelouslizzie

Bucky x Adult Content Creator!Reader

Bucky Barnes has a big problem: he is too anxious to date and too old school to enjoy porn. But he needs some kind of relief, and he needs it right now. After getting an accidental boner during a mission, Natasha suggests him an application that seems to be exactly what he needs. Will your content solve the problem for him? Or will it create new problems?

28. ephemeral by @aescapisms

Professor!Bucky x Reader

Bucky Barnes fell in love with you, but the universe isn’t all that forgiving.

29. Bulletproof by @amandaoftherosemire ✨

Bucky x Reader College AU

You, Steve Rogers, and Bucky Barnes have been the best of friends since middle school. On top of that, you’ve been in love with Bucky pretty much the whole time. Everything changed after the three of you got to college, however. Over the past couple of years you and Steve have become even closer but things between you and Bucky have been strained since the night he broke your heart. Can anything bring you back together?

30. The Heart is a Deep Ocean by @dreamlessinparis

Bucky x Reader Titanic AU

Titanic was known as the ship of dreams. For you, it was the dream of getting home, or so you thought. From the moment you locked eyes with James Buchanan Barnes, all those dreams changed and your life was never the same.

[shanastoryteller]

Happy pride!!! I would die for a continuation of lady mo please!

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39

Wei Wuxian is keeping himself upright through sheer force of will and his utter refusal to let Lan Zhan be right about anything.

He has been sort of exhausted lately, but he’s been training himself into the ground and keeping to ridiculous Lan morning routines and he has a curse mark slowly killing him, so he thinks he’s entitled. He would have made it to the Jin tower just fine if he hadn’t run into Song Lan and had to hunt down a town fierce corpses and fight Xue Yang. That alone would leave most people exhausted, so he has a perfectly good excuse for his vision to be going fuzzy on the edges.

Except he’d literally rather fall off his sword and snap his neck then admit that. He can’t even let that happen, because A-Qing is flying on his sword with him, and she’s not even a cultivator. Her bones will break a lot easier than his will.

He’s not even injured. Or, well, not any injuries that count. He once fought off fierce corpses right after having his core ripped out, being tortured, and dropped from a height high enough to kill. Some bruises and cuts are nothing, and they don’t feel like anything now. Maybe he should have let Xue Yang stab him a couple of times. It would have made everything more believable and also would have let him nap with his dignity intact.

They land back at the inn and the rest of the Lans look extremely relieved and then confused when they see their newest additions. Except for Jin Guangyao, who only shows that he’s noticed them by raising a single eyebrow and looking to him immediately.

Jin Guangyao is a stone cold bitch that’s too smart for anyone’s own good. Wei Wuxian sort of regrets that they’d never had any reason to really get to know one another during the war. Surely Jin Guangyao could have steered him away from some of his worse decisions.

“We’re bringing guests,” he announces to all of them, jumping to the ground and nudging A-Qing to do the same with a guiding hand on her hip. “Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen, who I assume you all already know. And A-Qing. They’ve had a rough time and we’re going to be very nice to them.” He looks over to Lan Xichen. “I guess it’s a good thing that you brought the carriage. They can ride in there the rest of the way.”

The awkward silence is broken by Jin Guangyao saying, “Madame Jin is not fond of accommodating extra guests.”

Madame Jin is going to make Jin Guangyao deal with it because she’s petty that way. Apparently Jin Zixuan plays interference as much as he can, but considering he’s no longer fighting fit and the perfect heir he once was, his ability to influence his mother has been similarly reduced.

A politician down to her core. Wei Wuxian might be able to admire it if it didn’t make him hate her so much.

“I’m not fond of Madame Jin, so I’m sure it even outs,” he says carelessly.

Some of the Lan go to the effort to pretend to be appalled but most of them seem to have no problem agreeing, regardless of all the rules of propriety and respecting one’s elders that he’s breaking. People take their cue from their leaders and Lan Xichen is straight up just pretending he didn’t say that, probably because he agrees.

He’s treated to the rare sight of Jin Guangyao’s dimples. “Can you at least pretend not to be a menace? I can only put out so many fires at once.”

“I can pretend,” he agrees and then A-Qing is faking a coughing fit to hide her giggles.

[thatflatenedfrogontheroad]

I made a tier list...

please make your own!! I need to see boomer nations opinions on our man!!!! I know the tiers are actually so vile so change them if you desire :)))

OK so my quick blurb on why they are their!! (working worst to best)

28. Identity Crisis #5 - HE WOULD KILL ME FOR THE FUN OF IT. It did bring about the most random rivalry between Tim drake’s fandom and boomer's which is very funny

27. Black Lantern - Oh no… he's back… like a boomerang. Ate his own son... RIP…. L skill issue

26. Sliver Age - Would actually call me a slur and say that I don't deserve rights. He would hate crime me and then solicit me for sex. He looks like he's wearing a dress… what a pretty lady.

25. Flash TV Show - EWWWWWWWW, he though he ate...

24. DC Online - He looks like he would punch me in face at a NYC bus stop

23. White Lantern - Don't look at me like that… stop. He's back from the dead like a boomerang?? Something about most of the New 52 boomerangs don't hit the same. the bride all in white :’)

22. Young Justice - Gave me the ick. You might be thinking... he looks identical to SS hell to pay, why is he down here?? Great question… HE WAS SO CREEPY TO ONE OF THE GIRLS IN YOUNG JUSTICE….. WHO IS A MINOR!

21. Injustice Movie - Just because your in the background… doesn't save you from this list!!!

20. New 52 - Ok he's kinda hot if you look through your peripherals…Why are you wearing skinny jeans… you millennial

19. Harley Quinn TV Show - He's fine… just fine. “We’ll stack out bingo… Boomer loves an older woman” NO HE MUST LOVE ME! I AM VERY VERY MATURE FOR MY AGE

18. Flash: Sins of the Father - Can you please stop talking in the 3rd person… you are starting to sound crazy.

17. Most Wanted - I know jack shit about him. That's probably because he is barely in a comic issues THATS NAMED AFTER HIM!

16. Flash Point Paradox - His fight scene actually ate. I'm a sucker for Boomer being with the Rogues. If cyborg can take his belt off… so can I

15. Suicide Squad 2021 - Wow they somehow gave him even less lines than his first movie. 1. He doesnt look like boomer. 2. His accent is so bad… and hes AUSTRALIAN 3. His acting low key kinda mid 4. They killed off two of the only OG suicide squad members they had on the cast 5. He dies in the first 20min and in the most disrespectful way

14. Suicide Squad 2016 - The only good thing to come from this man is the fanfiction he brought. THIS FUCKING MOVIE MADE HIM A CANON BRONY WHICH I CAN NOT FORGIVE. GET THIS OUT OF MY SMUT BEFORE FREAK THE FUCK OUT >:( Fuck him and pinky too, you son of a bitch!!!! (its not that serious lol... i just want him to stop fucking a toy horse... please guys)

13. This Goober Alien Guy - I know nothing. He just kinda showed up… and I'm not mad just a little confused. He looks like he needs a hot chocolate and a hug :)))) 

12. Lego Batman Movie - Low key an icon. What I would do to get my hands on one of these sets… I would come close to killing someone for it

11. DC Lego Super Villains - If he wasn't Lego I would propose (Shane Dawson style) Once again what I would do for the very discontinued Lego set tie in…

10. Batman: Brave and The Bold - Those cheekbones could cut someone. Why are you wear a mini skirt… take it off ;)

9. Suicide Squad (comic) - Yes I know he was drinking and driving but he's not real so it doesn't count!!! The beginning of the Boomer Mobile! THE GAP TOOTH DUDE!

8. Justice League Unlimited S1 - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Ok the hairline is… bad…. But so is mine twin!! I LOVE THAT THEY GAVE HIM PROPER CLOTHES AND NOT RAGS DUDE

7. Agent of Oz - is this picture is my school profile pic...yes… and??HE'S COVERED IN BLOOD AND IM GIGGLING!!!!!!!!!!!

6. Stjepan Sejic's Boomer - Choke hold and choke me...  I want to hear his voice but he can't break his mewing streak…The ungodly things I would let him do to me

5. Dark: Apocalypse War - Constantine! Boomer! GIRLS! GIRLS!! ILL SLEEP WITH BOTH OF YOU!!! I was not expecting him in this movie so I started to freak out when he showed up DUDE. PLEASE LET ME SIT ON IT

4. Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay - I'm a ride he wouldn't survive… I DONT HAVE WORDS TO DECRIBE HOW I FEEL DUDE… I WOULD DO ANYTHING HE ASKED FOR NO JOKE. Dead on the floor

3. Justice League Unlimited S2 - The glow up in REAL... had me on my hands and knees as a 3rd grader… and still on my knees today. I have never wanted someone to fuck me in the back alleyway of a shit bar so bad in my life

2. Batman: Assault on Arkham - The one that started it all… he is the reason I am this way. no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom BUT GREG ELLIS IS PUBLIC ENIME NUMDER ONE. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!!!!

AND THE BEST ONE!!!!!!!! WE ALL SAW IT COMING

1. Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League - I AM GNAWING ON THE IRON BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE!!!!!! He has it all, the face, the VOICE, the look, the character!!!!! It is hands down the most consistently good representation of captain boomerang out their… and its canon that's he has a big dick :D I would sell my first born to get one night…

Thank you all for reading this word vom, I am sick in the head <3

if any of the comic issues are off or something please let me know :)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make your our and tag me!! i need to see them <3<3<3

[skyward-floored]

Whumptober Day 10: Aftermath of failure

Continuation to day 4! (...finally. This is so late)

Soooo this was actually originally split into two days, and it kinda shows. But I didn’t want to have to keep stretching this out, and decided putting them together was okay, even if they don’t fit together perfectly.

Enjoy your extra angst hehe—

Day 4

Read on ao3

Warnings: blood, mentions of injuries, a panic attack, and brief mention of vomit.

————————————————————

Legend was asleep.

Warriors repeated it to himself like a mantra, watching as Hyrule crouched over the veteran and finished bandaging his middle. He knew Legend was asleep because Hyrule wasn’t acting panicked at all, and he could see his chest going up and down even from here.

He was breathing. He was asleep.

Something buzzed in his ear, same as it had on and off for a while now, but Warriors couldn’t make it out. He was pretty sure it was Sky trying to talk to him, the same as he’d been for a while, but he couldn’t focus on what he was saying, couldn’t take his eyes off of where Legend was laying in the grass.

His chest was still going up and down. He was asleep, unconscious maybe, due to shock. But he was breathing, eyes closed, face twisted slightly in pain with his bangs falling over his face. Hyrule was still bandaging his middle, and he’d pulled his bloodstained tunic out of the—

Warriors’ breath stuttered, and his gaze flicked to the blood coating his hands.

Legend’s blood.

Legend’s blood that he’d spilled.

Legend’s blood that his sword had ripped out of him after he’d plunged it into his chest, all because he wasn’t strong enough to resist whatever magic had attacked him, and made him think Legend had betrayed them all.

“Please, I’m not your enemy!”

Warriors felt his breath catch again, swallowing thickly. The memories were still blurry of what exactly he’d done, but he remembered in stark detail Legend’s chest under his foot, his eyes blown wide with an unusual fear as he’d practically begged him to wake up, his scream when he’d stabbed—

“Link, hey.”

Hands clutched at his wrists, trying to get a reaction out of him, the skin cold against his own. Warriors stared at them blankly, palms streaked with faint burns and cuts, and watched as some of Legend’s blood dripped off his fingers and onto his tunic, joining the crimson that was already coated all over his front.

He lurched over and retched.

The hands let go of his wrists, and gently grabbed his shoulder instead, waiting until he was finished. An overwhelming swell of horror and regret swamped over him as he stopped, and Warriors could barely breath, his scarf feeling like it was constricting him.

He’d almost killed Legend. He’d almost killed a fellow hero, a brother, all because of a spell he was too weak to resist.

“Captain, take a deep breath, please.”

Warriors tried, managing a shaking gasp, and what he finally recognized as Sky’s voice tried to get him to take in another. A sting of embarrassment leaked through the horror as Sky gently spoke, and Warriors felt his fingernails bite into his palm as he clenched his fist.

He needed to calm down. He was better than this, he knew how to be calm in situations like this, he’d been trained how to calm down, he needed to remember his training—

Your training that nearly killed Legend.

Warriors heaved in another breath, frantically trying to get himself to calm down. He couldn’t think about it. He just needed to focus on something else.

The hand was still on his shoulder, and Warriors focused only on that, on the small circles it was rubbing, the gentle motions of the fingers going back and forth. He kept his mind firmly from anything else that had or was happening, and eventually managed to pull his breathing under control, taking slower breaths as he calmed his heart.

After a long time, he slowly raised his head and looked at Sky’s face.

The other knight’s face was pale, making the usual eye bags he had stick out even more sharply under his eyes. A bit of blood was drying in his hair, and his lip was split, blood trickling down his chin, but more obvious than any injury was the haunted look in his eyes.

But somehow he still managed to dredge up a smile to send at Warriors.

“Hey Captain,” he said in a soft voice, and Warriors stared at him blankly. “You back with me?”

Warriors’ breath hitched again.

“I almost killed him,” he rasped, the horror starting to trickle back through the temporary wall he’d put up.

Sky’s smile faded, and Warriors swallowed, his throat stinging with bile. He hadn’t meant to say that.

Sky hesitated, and looked like he was trying to think of something to say, and Warriors felt another overwhelming swell of panic and horror overwhelm him, crashing over him like a tsunami.

“Gods Sky,” he choked out, his breath catching in his lungs, “I nearly killed him, I stabbed Legend Sky, he’s only a kid I—”

Sky clutched at his hands again, and Warriors looked at Legend’s blood still drying on his palms.

“You— we, weren’t ourselves,” Sky said in a voice only slightly more steady than Warriors’, sounding like he was forcing his voice not to break. “It was the wizzrobe. We can’t... we can’t take the blame here Wars, it’ll... it’ll tear us apart.”

Warriors let out a truly bitter laugh, and didn’t reply. It already is.

“Link,” Sky continued, his voice agonized. “Don’t—”

“I thought he was one of them Sky,” Warriors interrupted, voice shaking. “A traitor. Someone who’d gone against everything I stand for, kidnapped Zelda or— or something, I can’t even remember, but I thought he was one of them Sky, I—”

His voice cracked, and he closed his eyes, shaking his head.

I’m the traitor.

The irony wasn’t lost on him.

Sky stayed silent, and Warriors felt bile rise in his throat again as his eyes flicked to the bloodstained grass Legend was lying in, but he swallowed it back, staring down at his hands. Sky’s own were still clasped at his wrists, and Warriors realized his were the ones with the burns and cuts on them, red and painful looking.

“You’re hurt,” he said numbly, and Sky shrugged a little, turning his hands so the burns were harder to see.

“Not too badly. Fi was only helping, and Wind’s a better brawler than I am.” He rubbed his jaw, a softer expression crossing his face. “He can sure hit hard for having such small fists.”

Warriors felt a flicker of pride towards Wind, but the warmth from the emotion didn’t last long. The others really had fought their hardest to keep them all away from Legend.

Look how that turned out.

He breathed out heavily, feeling less panicked and more wrung out all of a sudden, and Warriors raised his head and looked around at their group.

Wind was sitting next to Four and helping him wrap a bandage around his side, the smithy’s tunic bloody and torn. Wind himself had a black eye, and a small cut on his cheek, with half-dried blood staining his chin as well. He was holding a bottle and trying to get Four to take it, but the smithy kept shaking his head and pushing it back towards him.

Hyrule had finished with Legend, and was talking to Time, though Hyrule was pointedly positioned between the downed veteran and the older hero. Both of them were sporting multiple injuries, but before Warriors could study them further, a choked noise made him startle.

He and Sky both turned to look, and saw Wild curled in on himself at the base of a nearby tree, his head in his hands and his forearm bleeding. Twilight was kneeled next to him, talking in quiet tones, and Wild muffled a keening noise in his hands, curling up tighter.

Warriors looked away from Wild, but found himself scanning all of Twilight’s injuries, remembering in an almost detached way that he’d been the one to inflict most of them.

“Keep them away from Legend!”

His gaze went back to the veteran against his will, and he stared in silence at his chest, bandages going steadily up and down, the same as earlier. His face was pale, but Hyrule must have cleaned the blood from it as it was clean, and Legend’s expression had eased a little further.

Warriors swallowed, watching him. Legend looked so small from over here, pale and bloodstained. He may have claimed the title of veteran, but he truly was still a kid, younger then when Warriors had joined the army.

How old was he when he had started saving people?

Warriors jumped at a sudden hand in his face, and he almost fell backwards before he realized it was Sky, holding a cloth in his hand.

“You’re still bleeding,” he apologized quietly, and Warriors hesitated, then nodded, closing his eyes as Sky began to clean the blood off his forehead and cheek. He normally disliked anyone touching his face, but Sky was gentle, and Warriors stayed still as he worked, blinking his eyes against the sudden sting in them.

“Wars wake up! You’d never hurt any of us!”

“It wasn’t you, Captain. It wasn’t your fault,” Sky whispered as he continued, and Warriors couldn’t look him in the eye.

Maybe he was right. Maybe not.

But either way, Legend’s screams wouldn’t be fading from his mind anytime soon.

And he would never forgive himself for hurting him that way.

Warriors looked down at his hands one more time, the smell of blood still sharp in his nose, and Sky continued to clean off his face, hand faintly trembling.

If blood didn’t end up being the only liquid that was wiped from his cheek, then Sky didn’t comment on it.

(...)

It was dark when Legend finally woke up.

He blinked his eyes open, lids feeling unusually heavy as he stared up at the night sky, but he found himself having trouble remembering what had happened before he fell asleep. He felt tired, and heavy, and for some reason there was a heavy feeling of wrongness settled around him. But...

Legend frowned, and turned his head to look around camp.

It was mostly dark and quiet, a campfire providing a bit of warmth and light. Legend blinked his eyes open a little further, and looked around at the others, the sense of wrongness only growing stronger.

Hyrule was tucked beside him, dead asleep with his arm resting on top of Legend’s. He looked exhausted, and his face held a deep frown, his other hand held near his sword. Wind was next to him, and Four stretched out nearby, the smithy sporting several bandages at his side.

On the opposite side of the clearing, Wild was curled into a tight ball under his blanket, barely visible, and Sky was next to him, his face tightly pinched in his sleep. Wolfie sat close by, but was surprisingly far away from Wild, and seemed rather on edge.

Time sat closest to the fire, and Legend couldn’t help but stare at how the older hero was holding Warriors’ shoulders, their foreheads nearly touching as he talked to him in a low voice.

He couldn’t make out the words, but they sounded urgent.

Legend blinked, feeling dizzy and a bit cold, and he tried to sit up, gasping in surprise as the pain he hadn’t even noticed in his middle spiked. Memories came flooding back as he looked down at his bandaged chest, and his breath hitched as Warriors and Time both turned and looked at him, their eyes shining in the firelight.

For a moment, all he could see was armor glinting in the sun, blank eyes focused on him in a glare, a sword raised to stab him through—

You killed the wizzrobe, he reminded himself as his breath caught, they’re not your enemies, they won’t turn on you, they won’t...

Twilight seemed to notice his distress, and he quickly hopped up and padded to his side, using his big head to gently push him back to lying down.

“I’m fine you big lug,” Legend said in a voice that ended up more shaky then he would have preferred, but Twilight ignored him, twitching his tail once, then settled himself on the opposite side of him from where Hyrule was.

Legend exhaled, and ran a hand through the wolf’s thick fur, unable to stop himself from still watching Time and Warriors. Looking at them without their armor on made it easier to separate them from the memories he had of them from earlier, but...

“Traitor to the crown!”

Not entirely.

Time noticed him staring, and met his eyes, looking at him with something that Legend wasn’t sure how to decipher. The older hero turned and said something to Warriors, but the captain looked away, and Time slowly got to his feet, approaching Legend.

He felt himself tense as Time drew near, but Twilight stayed firmly by his side, and the presence of the large wolf helped greatly with keeping him steady. Twilight won’t let him attack.

...not that he will, because the spell is broken, remember?

“How are you doing, Veteran?” Time asked softly as he reached him, sitting far enough away to not make Legend too uncomfortable.

“Fine.”

Time raised an eyebrow at the response, but didn’t push, offering him a water skin. Legend realized then he was rather parched, and slowly sat up again, reaching out to take it. He winced as a flicker of pain struck through his middle, but at Time’s worried look, firmly took the water skin as if daring him to argue.

“I’m alright,” Legend repeated, and took a long draught of water. It was cold as it went down his throat, but the relief was worth it. “How’s everyone else?”

Time sighed, heavy and tired. “About as well as you’d expect. Four was the worst off besides yourself, and Warriors and Twilight were both hurt more then they realized. But nobody’s in danger.”

Legend swallowed. Are they though?

It was silent between them for a minute while Legend finished drinking, shivering slightly as he finished. He could tell he had lost a lot of blood. That was something even Hyrule couldn’t fix, and he would have to just rest and regain it naturally.

Pretty annoying though, he grumbled, tugging his blanket tighter around his shoulders. He hated how cold he always felt after losing a bunch of blood.

The memory of being stabbed flickered in his memory, and his eyes slid over to Warriors, the captain staring blankly at the fire. He wondered how much he remembered of what had happened. The captain had seemed dazed after... everything, and while he’d obviously realized what he’d done, that didn’t really mean he truly remembered.

I hope he doesn’t remember a thing.

“Legend... do you know what that wizzrobe did?” Time asked quietly, and Legend felt a chill go up his spine. “Hyrule mentioned you freezing up, has this... spell, happened before?”

Do we need to be prepared for it to happen again? was the unspoken question.

Legend bit his lip. Hyrule knew why he had frozen up— he’d told him one time after finding a wanted sign with Legend���s face on it— but he’d obviously not elaborated on why to the others.

“I think... it reactivated an old spell through me somehow,” Legend murmured, drawing his blanket closer. “On... on my first quest, there was a sorcerer, a servant of Ganon, who took over the castle. He brainwashed all the soldiers and knights, and they thought I was the enemy for a long time.”

He swallowed.

“But I... I guess the wizzrobe hit me first, and it affected you all, because... you’re knights.”

Understanding dawned on Time’s face, and he leaned back, putting a hand on his chin. “My knighthood is only a title, I haven’t done much to deserve it,” he murmured, brows lowered. “But the spell didn’t differentiate regardless...”

He met Legend’s gaze again, and the veteran startled at the remorse all over his face.

“I’m so sorry Veteran.”

Legend shook his head, and looked down at the bandages covering most of his chest.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he whispered. “The wizzrobe did it. It was infected... that must have granted it extra magic ability.”

Twilight shifted a little closer to him, and Legend ran his hand through his fur again, calming himself down with the motions. Time was silent for a while, watching his hand card along, then sighed, and got to his feet.

Legend flinched in spite of himself.

“I think the captain needs to hear that,” Time finally replied, his voice quiet. “Is it okay if he comes over here?”

No, no it’s not, his mind immediately screamed, glaring eyes and cold words flashing through his mind, a blade stabbing deep through his chest as he choked on his own blood and Warriors’ horrified gaze as he stared at his hands—

“Yeah,” he said in a voice that was much too casual.

Time and Twilight both gave him a look, but didn’t do anything further then that, and Time nodded and moved away.

Legend didn’t watch him reach Warriors, or talk to try and convince him to come over to where Legend was sitting, keeping his eyes firmly on his lap, or Wolfie’s soft fur. Not until a set of footsteps approached again did Legend flick his eyes up, and he felt his heart freeze as Warriors looked down at him.

Suddenly it was earlier again, and Warriors’ face had become a smooth glare, his sword plunging downwards into his chest, and Legend couldn’t breathe through the blood, his vision going dark—

“This— this was a bad idea,” Warriors said, stumbling over his words as Legend tried to get ahold of himself. “I don’t—”

“Stay,” Legend finally managed to get out, determined to beat this. And despite his instincts begging him to just leave, to run, to get away, he looked up and met Warriors’ eyes. “Please.”

Warriors swallowed, and Time’s hand landed on his shoulder, nearly pushing the captain down to sit next to Legend. He was a bit closer than Legend would have preferred, but he swallowed back the fear and distrust that were still trying to choke him, and stayed where he was.

Time looked between them, then left, far away enough to give them privacy, but close enough to help if there was a problem.

Which Warriors was obviously afraid there would be.

Twilight stayed where he was, silent and still, and Legend kept running his hand through his fur, wondering a bit at the fact that he was letting him pet him so much. But mostly he was just glad for the grounding feel of the fur between his fingers.

The silence between him and Warriors stretched on, and Legend avoided looking at him, still staring at his lap. He was afraid he would see those same blank eyes again if he looked up, and he didn’t move, didn’t say anything.

“Legend, I...” Warriors finally began, but his voice cracked, and he shook his head, staring at the ground.

The silence came back with a vengeance, and Legend hesitated, his stomach hurting with more than just his injury. He firmly gathered his courage, and finally looked over at Warriors, and was shocked to see a tear slip down his cheek.

Twilight quietly whined, and Warriors let out a laugh that was really more of a sob.

“I betrayed you, Legend,” he managed to continue, voice more broken then Legend had ever heard it. “I shouldn’t even be over here in case— in case it happens again. I can’t be trusted, I... I nearly killed you, and there aren’t enough words in the world to convey how sorry—”

Legend swallowed, and before he could scare himself out of doing it, leaned forward and pressed his head against Warriors’ chest.

The captain made a choked noise, and Legend squeezed his eyes shut.

“It wasn’t you,” he said, not bothering to hide the tremble in his voice. “It was the wizzrobe Captain, it was a spell, an infected one, I know— I know you would never hurt any of us.”

Horribly enough, Legend felt his eyes begin to sting, but he forced the tears back, and stayed with his head pressed to Warriors’ chest, listening to him try not to cry either.

“Nobody could have resisted that,” Legend choked out, firmly blaming the sudden crash of emotions on his exhausted physical state. “Nobody. So don’t— don't. Don’t blame y-yourself.”

Something shakily rested on his back after a minute, and Legend realized it was Warriors’ arm, eventually joined by the other. Part of him wanted to break away from the contact, his mind screaming that he couldn’t trust the arms encircling him. But the part that was fighting so hard to pound it into Warriors’ head that it wasn’t his fault hung on, and enjoyed the contact, as awkward and messy as it was.

He knew it was just as hard for Warriors to be this close to him as it was for Legend to be near him, and he firmly ignored every memory of blood and swords and screaming, and focused on breathing, his brother’s arms around him.

Not threatening. Not wielding a sword.

Safe.

Twilight moved himself a little closer to the both of them, so that his fur wasn’t just pressed to Legend’s side, and Warriors let out another unsteady breath, trembling slightly.

It would take more time then this to patch back what had fractured, for all of them, but this...

Legend fought back a sob, and felt Warriors’ grip hesitate, then tighten.

This was a good start.

[joanofexys]

Please I must know more about Angel…

I’m gonna do a mix of fun facts and extra Angel backstory/PSU stuff so hopefully there’ll be something good in there

Some fun facts abt Angel:

Cuts the sleeves off most of his shirts

Crop. Tops.

Basically I wanted more men to dress like whores

Except he lowkey does it in a dad, rock band in someone’s garage, hot mechanic kind of way if that vibe makes sense in any capacity

His nose is crooked

Has a lot of scarring across his body, most of it has keloided (idk if that’s a word but I have keloid scars so leave me alone rip). He’s also got a few on his face

Because they’re raised and pretty prominent they tend to weird most people out and even though most of them are from when he was 10 or younger (courtesy of his father) they haven’t really faded. Some of them hurt some of them don’t

He doesn’t really like them or think they’re cool, he’s learned to feel neutral about it. However, Phoebe loves his scars

He’s built like a fucking brick wall. Just absolutely massive

gonna put it under the cut cause partial nudity ig but this is an idea of his body build:

also real quick the closest I’ve gotten for a good face claim for him is Isaiah Baumgardner

His hands are really cut up/scarred (I’ll explain this in a sec)

Cat and dog person. He will argue very passionately for it too and how unfair he thinks it is whenever people try and demonize cats or dogs

Queen would probably be the top artist in his Spotify wrapped

Hoards different editions of classics

Okay yeah moving on from the random bullets to me writing another essay about him

I did NOT get into this in his initial post but yeah his dad is a serial killer. For years his mom is labeled as missing (went missing when he was 4 years old) and then at 10 years old he’s removed from his dad’s home and moved into foster care. It wasn’t until 14 that his mother was confirmed dead upon his father’s arrest and confession.

When he was 14 years old the police randomly showed up at the door of his foster family at the time and took him down to the station. He was questioned for 7 hours, wrapping up at 3 in the morning, while the police tried to figure out if he had any knowledge or involvement in his father’s murders. All it resulted in was a crying Angel begging for his mommy to come home. With how young he was and the fact that he had been out of the home for 4 years (and his father continued killing during those 4 years) they declared there was no way he was aware. He was offered a chance to testify against his father. He refused to show.

When they dropped him off at his foster home he very nearly got the cops called again. He destroyed his room. Every personal belonging he had bought or been given by former families. He moved to a different home within the week. He breaks a lot of glass. And insists on cleaning it up himself. He cuts up his hands bad doing so. They have to take him to the ER.

Because he was a minor and had basically no ties to his father he was largely kept out of the media. When his father’s arrest and plea of guilty made the news it was mentioned that he had a single son but there was never a name. Obviously with Di Fiore anyone who looks him up is likely to get his dad in the search results instead. But he does his best to keep it hidden. It’s pretty easy for Wymack (and Andrew rip) to dig it up but Angel keeps it buried until he ends up at Palmetto. Once Andrew drops that he knows then Angel gives up on trying to keep any secrets from the foxes pretty much

He spends most of his time with the monsters. Phoebe’s favorites of them end up being Andrew (much to Aaron’s dismay since Aaron babysits more) and Kevin. However, like how cats can tell when people don’t like them, she is prone to asking for Neil and refusing to let anyone else hold her. Neil has no fucking clue what to do with her

When he goes to Eden’s with them if he can’t leave Phoebe with Harper then his go to babysitters are Dan & Matt and Wymack

He spends more time crashing at Wymack or Abby’s places than in the dorms

Resisting the urge to dump about my oc x canon ships but he and Allison are fwbs. He and Kevin are something (he’s basically a weighted blanket as a person which is something I think Kevin needs)

Uhhhhh fuck what else is going on with him. Idk he keeps to himself. He and Harper go on double dates with Katelyn and Aaron despite being broken up. He’s both very obviously a fucked up teenager and a good dad at the same time. He’s prone to cheating at board games. He doesn’t yell at people. His hearing’s a little fucked but he’ll probably never get it checked out. He’s very physically affectionate when he’s given permission (but he’ll always ask first. it’s good for setting healthy boundaries but it’s especially for Phoebe and to make sure she knows her boundaries will always be respected at home even from a young age). He likes RPGs (he’d be a huge fan of BG3) and is a fantasy nerd. Yeah that’s just a bit more about him

[lavenderdreams22]

A Court of Dawn & Dusk - Azriel x Reader (Part 10)

Summary: 49 years have passed, and both Azriel and Y/N struggle with their new realities.

A/N: sorry this took so long to get out, I was struggling pretty bad the last few months! It'll probably take a while longer between postings, but I'm hoping to get the rest of these out as quickly as I can. I hope you guys enjoy

Warnings: mentions of blood and violence. Cursing. I think that’s it.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

*****

Forty nine years had passed. Forty nine, but it felt as if I had been stuck down here for most of my life. My arms were chafed from the shackles, my mind foggy from lack of sleep and even less food. 

I tried not to let myself dwell on the things that I could have done differently, the biggest being that I could have listened to my mate. I could have stayed home and maybe I would still be with him… Maybe I wouldn’t be this shell of a person that I had become. 

Rhysand sat at the edge of my collapsing cot, healing one of my wounds that the Attor had given me today. He said nothing, but I could feel the anger and concern like a palpable thing as he ran a shaking hand over my arm.

It embarrassed me to have him here, even if we both knew that the circumstances weren’t my fault. The mattress was flat and uncomfortable, I could feel the metal bars underneath every single time I laid down, but it was better than the stone floor… Or so I told myself to try to hold onto some tether of humanity. But seeing Rhys flinch as he shifted made my heart drop to my stomach nonetheless. 

When he was finished, he gently sat my arm back in my lap and scooted back to give me space to breathe. He knew I hated being crowded now, usually hated being touched. 

“Thank you,” I muttered, rotating my wrist a few times to test it out. 

The ache was still there, but it had lessened enough that I no longer winced when I moved it. 

We sat in silence for a few moments before he loosened a heavy sigh and met my gaze. 

“You gonna tell me what’s got your wings in a twist, or am I going to have to guess?” I asked. 

He chucked to himself, shaking his head slightly. “I went to see Tamlin today.” 

I blinked at him, confused and a little surprised at how much this was affecting him.

“Okay…” I cocked my head to the side. “Why is this any different than the time you left a head on that fountain?”

“I was there to speak to them this time.” He glanced over his shoulders, dropping his voice to a whisper. “There was a human girl there.”

“A human?” My brow furrowed. I knew of the curse just as well as any other person, but so close to the end… It surprised me.

“Yes, a human.” He shook his head, his eyes growing sad. “She gave me a fake name, and when I returned… Amarantha forced me to tell her what I had found.”

I clenched my teeth at the sound of her name. Amarantha had done her best to leash Rhys and then keep him as close to her as she possibly could in the time since we had been trapped.

“I gave her the fake name thinking that it couldn’t possibly be a real person… A real family.” He shuddered. “Claire Beddor is two cells down from you, awaiting Amarantha’s summons to be tortured to death in front of the court.”

I gaped at him, my heart clenching at the guilt that must be gnawing at his own. 

“You know… You know that isn’t your fault, right?” I reached out and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. “You are not to blame.”

“That’s not what Tamlin’s human will think.” He whispered. 

“Who cares what Tamlin’s human believes? We know the truth.”

“I do.” He shrugged, seeming to mull something over before he met my eyes. “For some reason, I care what the human thinks. I care that she finds me to be despicable… A monster.”

I wasn’t sure why he felt that way… And he didn’t elaborate… Just in case. I had been telling him not to, for fear that it would be ripped out of me when the Attor had his blade cutting through my body.

I hadn’t cracked so far, but it was easier not to know.

Rhys leaned back against the wall, letting another small sigh out. I followed suit, our shoulders touching in a quiet reminder that neither of us was alone.

“I should head back up.” He stated, but made no move to leave. 

“Stay as long as you need to.” I took his hand, squeezing his fingers in mine. 

*****

Azriel sat at the dining table and watched Cassian pace as he had most days in the last forty nine years. 

“What if we bring the Illyrian army and break them out?” Cassian asked, stopping for only a moment to look between Azriel and Amren.

“We’ve discussed this a dozen times.” Amren said. “That’s not a viable option. Rhys was clear in his instructions. We cannot leave. The wards that protect Velaris are tied to us being here.” 

Cassian huffed, pausing in his pacing only long enough to give Amren a long, angry look. “Well, what about-”

“That won’t work either.” Amren spat. 

“How do you know?” 

“Because, boy, she has absorbed a fraction of every single high lord's magic.” Amren seethed. “She’s too powerful.”

Azriel nodded his agreement.

Mor breezed into the room, her arms full of swords that needed sharpened and cleaned. 

“What’re we fighting about today?” She asked, taking a seat at the end of the table and letting the weapons clang together against the wood. 

“Cassian’s coming up with more hairbrained schemes to get Rhys and Y/N back.” Amren ground out. 

“Thought we talked about that already?” Mor glanced quickly at everyone before turning her attention back to the blades in front of her. 

“We have.” Azriel growled. “Too many times to count.” 

“We can’t just leave them down there forever.” Cassian snarled. 

Tempers had been rising steadily for a while, and Azriel was sure there was soon to be a fight. A real fight, not with words and insults, but fists and blades. 

“I know that.” Pinching the bridge of his nose to fight off the headache, Azriel leaned back in his chair. 

He hated doing nothing just as much, if not more, than everyone else. His mate was down there, suffering. 

It was faint, but he could feel her pain down the bond, as if… as if she were consistently being sliced open. 

He resented Rhys a bit for letting it happen, even if he knew there was probably no stopping it. He resented her a bit, too, for going when he had told her he had a bad feeling about it all and asked her not to... 

But he resented himself most of all for not fighting her harder, not holding her closer. Gods, he fucking missed her. He missed her so bad that it physically hurt him. 

Every single night when he would go to bed without her, he felt his heart fracture just a bit more. And every morning when he woke up, he reached for her, hoping that she would have magically appeared overnight. He had been disappointed every single time he woke up. It was getting harder and harder to pull himself out of bed. Velaris wasn’t the same without her. And without her in it wasn’t a place he wanted to be. 

“We’ll come up with something.” Mor said offhandedly. 

Azriel hoped they would, but he knew better than to expect it. 

*****

I awoke to the sound of the door to my cell flying open and slamming against the wall. It was too early for them to be coming to get me, so I clamped my eyes closed and evened my breathing. 

“Here you are.” The Attor said, followed by a thump that could only be a body hitting the ground. “You’ll have a roommate. How fun for you.”

When I heard the door clang shut, I let my eyes open completely and took in the sight in front of me. 

There was a human girl in my cell. She was bloodied and bruised, testing her face for wounds. A flinch wracked her body as she touched her nose, but she didn’t cry. I could tell she wanted to, but she refused to cry. 

“What’d they throw a human in here for?” I finally asked.

She whipped her head around, her golden brown hair flying over her shoulder before her eyes met mine.

“Sorry… I didn’t know you were awake.” She ground out.

I shrugged, taking her in. This must be the human that Rhys had mentioned. 

“Nothing to be sorry for.” I shrugged. “I cried my entire first week after they threw me down here, you know. It’s okay.”

She nodded, but didn’t so much as sniffle as she seemed to mull that over. 

“What’d you do?”

“I came after my… I’m trying to break a curse.” She mumbled. “What did you do?”

“I killed a dozen of her men a very long time ago… Turns out she holds a bit of a grudge.” I propped my head up on my hand. “That, and she thinks I have information that I do not.”

“You killed a dozen people?” She asked. 

I only hummed in response. She looked harmless, but it was possible that she was a different tactic to get me to spill my secrets. I would need to be careful. She seemed to be sizing me up, as well. 

“I’m Feyre.” She said after a moment of tense silence. 

“Y/N.” I gave her my best smile. “Nice to meet you.” 

*****

Feyre had come back utterly torn apart and covered in shit and mud after her first trial. I gagged on the stale bread they had brought me as she fell into a heap on the floor. One of her arms looked to have a piece of bone protruding from it, and I cursed under my breath as I scrambled to her side. 

Fuck, this was bad. Her human body couldn’t heal itself, and she still had two more trials left before this was all over. I wished for Rhys to come. Now would be the perfect time for him to step out of the shadows.

“Let me get a look at that.” I whispered.

Rhys hadn’t been down here since I had been given a cell mate. I wasn’t sure if it was the girl keeping him away or if Amarantha had learned of his trips down here. Either way, I would have to do this myself until I could get a healer to take pity on us and help her. 

She held it out to me, and I cursed again. We had no fresh water in the cell, and with my power gone, even the small kernel of my father's magic that I had been given at birth had dwindled down to nothing. 

“Bad news is, without fresh water, we really can’t clean it, but I can wrap it in bits of the blanket.” I glanced at the bed and winced. Even the blankets were filthy. “We’ll wait for tomorrow's water and use half of it to clean you up…”

“What's the good news?” She asked through clenched teeth as I got to work.

“What?”

“Bad news is usually followed by good news.” She met my eyes. “What’s the good news?”

“I’ll bet Lucien can heal this. We just need to get word to him somehow.”

She nodded, but didn’t offer any ideas. I sent another silent plea out to Rhys. 

*****

Cassian grunted as Azriel’s fist connected with his chin. 

Tensions were peaking. Time was up, and yet Rhys and Y/N hadn’t come home. All Azriel could think of was whether she was okay. It had been weeks since he had felt anything down the bond. And while everything had been faint up to this point, it was still there. 

Cassian swung, and Azriel dodged. It was the same dance every single day. Neither of them could get rid of the bad mood that seemed to follow them around like a rain cloud, and there was really no other way to work through the energy.

“Maybe we could go to Rita’s. Drink a little bit.” Cassian said, grunting as Azriel landed another punch.

“I would rather light myself on fire.” Azriel spat. 

Cassian flinched, his eyes flicking down to Azriel’s scarred hands.

“Okay… Then maybe we could take a fucking cooking class.” 

“A cooking class?” Azriel wanted to laugh at that. Wanted to find humor in something, anything. He wanted a reason to smile again. But without her, it was like every bit of happiness had been removed from the world. 

He couldn’t think about that, or he would start to think about the bond. Maybe she had just put a wall up? Maybe now that time was out, she was trying to keep the worst parts away from him? 

Gods, he really hoped she was okay. 

“Well, I’ve got to get you out of your head somehow, and this,” Cassian gestured between the two of them, “doesn’t seem to be working like it did in the beginning.”

He was right. Fighting was a distraction, but the twitchy energy was still there once they had finished. 

“What we need is for the curse to be broken so they can come home…” Azriel huffed, storming over to the water station. 

Cassian moved silently behind him, leaning against a training dummy. His eyes shone with concern, but he didn’t press.

“I need her back, Cass.” Azriel said, his voice so quiet, Cassian wasn’t sure that he had even really heard him.

“I know. You’ll get her back even if I have to go under that damned mountain myself.”

Azriel finally met Cassian’s eyes. “It feels like she’s gone… The bond has been quiet for weeks… It was weak before, anyway, what with her being so far away and magic being dwindled to nothing… What if she’s-”

“She’s alive.” Cassian growled. ‘They both are. They have to be.”

Azriel only nodded before downing a cup of water and gesturing to Cassian to follow him back to the sparring area. 

*****

Mor sat in the shadows of the living room, staring into the flames as they flickered in the hearth. 

“What do you propose we do, Cassian?” Amren asked, her voice quiet.

“We have to do something… We’re losing him.” Cassian replied. 

“We have to break the rules to get them back. But we can’t just… march in there.” Mor said, louder than intended. She cleared her throat and continued, quieter than before. “We need to find a loophole.”

Cassian grinned then. “Finally. I’ve only been saying that for fifty years.”

*****

“Go to hell.” Feyre growled, her words colder than I had ever heard.

“Rhys, what the hell are you doing here?” I asked over my shoulder as I attempted to wipe the gunk out of her wound. 

“Heard you call for help. Figured I would comply.” He shrugged, picking a piece of lint off of his perfectly pressed jacket. 

“I called for help days ago.” It was my turn to growl. “Took you long enough.”

Rhys ignored me, looking to Feyre instead. She was watching him through heavy lids. I hadn’t been able to get the wound to stop bleeding, and I could smell the first signs of infection in her blood. 

“What would Tamlin say if he knew his beloved was rotting away down here?” Rhys asked, his voice dark and elegant. 

Feyre bared her teeth, trying her best to look scary. It reminded me of a small child. Rhys could filet her alive if he so chose. 

“Rhys, stop taunting her.” 

“Where’s the fun in that?” He cocked his head to the side as he studied Feyre.

The look in his eyes reminded me so much of Azriel. The cool calculation mixed with something warm and familiar. It nearly knocked me to the floor. 

I had closed my end of the bond so that I could focus on keeping the human alive. She was our only hope at this moment. Our only hope of finally, finally, getting out of here and going home. Gods, I missed my mate and my bed. And my tub… I couldn’t wait to take a real bath again. 

But those emotions, those feelings did nothing to help us in our current situation, so I shut them down, refused to think about him, refused to let myself feel things that I knew would only make this harder. 

Feyre was our only hope to get out of here, and right now she was dying. 

“If you’re not going to help her, you need to leave.” I growled. “Send Lucien or even my father in your stead, but leave.”

“I’ll help her.”

“What are your demands?” Feyre rasped, finally finding her voice again.

I bit my lip as I watched Rhys kneel in front of the cot that she was occupying. 

They seemed to stare at each other for a long moment, and I thought that I could hear Rhys’ heartbeat pick up.

“So… You have learned something about our ways, then.” He grinned.

“Your terms.” She repeated. 

“Two weeks, every month, with me in the Night Court.” He stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. 

My brow furrowed. Why would he want to bring her to the Night Court?

Feyre was fighting an internal battle. I could tell she didn’t like Rhys, but she seemed to also be coming to terms with the fact that this was probably her only choice. 

“Go to hell.” She growled. 

“Feyre…” I whispered. “Take the bargain. You need help.”

“Not from him.” She spat.

Brave girl, spitting at the most powerful High Lord in Prythian. 

“This is the last time I will extend my assistance.” Rhys purred. “Either take the deal or don’t.”

He stood, making his way towards me and the shadows that I had backed myself into. 

I stared at him with horror in my eyes. Was he seriously about to let her die over something like this? He refused to look at me, and I could tell that he was nervous to see how I would react. 

You’re my best friend. He spoke, and it took me a moment to realize that he hadn’t said the words aloud. Don’t let this sway your opinion of me.

I gave a nod, and he seemed to visibly relax. There wasn’t much that he could do to make me think less of him.

He took his time melting into the shadows, his edges beginning to blur before he became less and less solid. Before he could disappear completely, Feyre managed to choke out a sound. 

“Wait.” She said, “just two weeks?”

“Yes.” 

“And what are the terms of this deal?” She was sweating. A fever was a terrible sign. I looked at Rhys, but he only smirked at her. 

“Telling you would ruin my fun.” He said, his voice like honey. “And I simply will not allow that to happen.”

She stared at him for a long moment, her eyes more alive than they had been in almost a day. 

After a little back and forth, they settled on a week, and Rhys was healing her arm and her blood from the infection, leaving behind a black tattoo of swirls. He had even removed the mess from her skin, leaving her looking as though she had just bathed. Even the vomit in the corner was gone. 

A laugh escaped me as I watched her stare down at her new tattoo in horror. 

“A bargain mark.” My gaze landed on a smug Rhysand. “You marked her.”

“What have you done?” She growled. “Get this thing off of me.”

“No.” He grinned. “I’ll be excited to see your beloved's reaction to this when he sees you again.” 

She spat at him once more, and I choked on another laugh. She was feeling better, that much was obvious.

*****

“There’s no way to remove the mark, Feyre.” I said as I watched her rub at the skin.

She sighed, sitting back on the cot. 

“So…” She started after a few beats of silence. “Tell me a story.”

“A story?”

“Yes. Something about you. To take my mind off of this…” she held her arm up to me. 

She wanted a story… about me? “What kind of story?” 

“How do you and Rhysand know each other?” She asked, meeting my eyes. 

“He… he saved me.” I shook my head as my own gaze fell to my lap. “I know you don’t like him, Feyre. But he hasn’t always been so… bad.”

She only snorted, and I didn’t blame her for not believing me. Especially not after he had almost let her die. 

“I don’t expect you to speak ill of your High Lord.” She said after a moment of silence. 

“He technically isn’t my High Lord.” 

She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye. I could tell she was trying to figure me out, and I couldn’t blame her for that, either. 

“My father is Thesan. High Lord of the Dawn Court.” I let myself smile a bit at the thought of my wonderful father. “That’s where I was born, where I grew up. But, before all of this, I spent a great deal of time in the Night Court.” 

I watched her for a moment before deciding that I could trust her with more than just this. 

“My mate is there.” 

“Mate?” She grinned. “You have a mate?” 

“I do. He’s… he’s waiting for me to come home to him.” 

“Tell me about him?” She asked, propping herself up on her elbow. 

“He’s quiet and brooding most of the time, but when I have him to myself he’s charming and funny and he’s so painfully handsome it physically hurts.” I sighed, “I miss him terribly.” 

She opened her mouth to ask more questions, but the cell door flew open, creaking and scraping against the stone floor. 

“Y/N.” The attor growled. “You’re being moved to a room.”

“A room?'' I asked, sitting up and staring wide eyed at the creature in the doorway. His tail swished over the stone floor and I swore I would have nightmares about the sound for the rest of my life. 

“The human is to be by herself. Come along before I come in there and drag you out by your hair.”

I flinched, and Feyre touched my arm. I wanted to weep for her, for the fact that she was going to be down here alone, for the fact that one of my only true allies in this hell was being taken from me. 

“Go.” She said, bravely. “Go, I will be fine.”

“I… I'm sorry…” I said, standing. 

The Attor growled again. I was obviously taking too long. 

When I made it to the door, a hand grabbed my arm so hard I could feel the bruise forming already. 

“Pity.” The Attor growled. “I am going to miss our time together.” 

I flinched as his breath fanned over me. 

With one last look at a wide-eyed Feyre, I left her behind.

*****

Taglist: @eos-princess @brekkershadowsinger @cmay25 @fall-myriad @i-am-infinite @mis-lil-red @judig92

[britcision]

Anyway I dunno how helpful this is gonna be to anyone but me, but uh… I… may have made a lil summary list of all the chapters of Dungeon Meshi by who’s in them and the vaguest description of what happens

(This began when I was trying to see if Chilchuck and Mithrun had been in a single panel together pre finale for Fanfic Reasons - they had been

One. Single. Panel.

Before Mithrun fucked off upstairs at Thistle’s house)

There are OBVIOUSLY spoilers it’s chapter by chapter but I like being able to pinpoint where the fuck to search for random obscure details so: Spoilers Below The Cut

DunMeshi chapters

1 - Falin goes down, leaving the dungeon, meeting Senshi. Giant scorpion hot pot

2 - man eating plants vs plant eating man

3 - basilisk hunting, meeting Doni and Fonil

4 - how not to pick mandrakes

5 - Chilchuck the trap expert, cooking with traps

6 - living armour, Laios first death

7 - analyzing and eating the living armour, Kensuke acquired

8 - Senshi and the golems

9 - veggie knight Laios, meeting the orcs

10 - meeting Kabru, treasure bugs

11 - spirit sorbet

12 - living paintings, first sighting of Thistle

13 - Chilchuck vs Mimics

14 - hair is important for magic, Anne actually does not like you sir, kelpie soap

15 - corpse collectors find Kabru, Kabru Swears Revenge, instant mermaid tpk, mermaids hate Laios’ singing

16 - kraken attack, parasites in parasites

17 - Marcille and Falin flashback, making fake dungeons, the natural dungeon, rip Laios

18 - planning rests, Marcille vs the Undine, Marcille low on mana - need lots of iron, Namari approaches

19 - Namari and the Tances meet Laios and co, the Undine is Super Duper Mad Actually, how resurrection works in the dungeon, fun with tentacles

20 - the undine fight part 2, trying to send Marcille to the surface for mana reasons with Namari and the Tances, Namari discovers the adamantine wok, Tances to the surface

21 - Laios and co down the shortcut full of tentacles, frog suits

22 - Tances to the governor, Namari and the twins visit a resurrection centre and bond

23 - Laios and co down to the castle town, how to fight the dragon awake and without Shuro? Mapping the town, planning

24 - leading the dragon around, Kensuke defects, stabbing feet is mid actually

25 - backup plan, let’s stand on a pot full of fireworks, the sacrifice play, Laios may learn some healing spells pls

26 - flashbacks with Laios, Falin, and the puppers, healing everyone up, excavating the dragon’s stomach and also guts

27 - putting the bones together, not enough left to reach the surface, it’s Fucked Up Necromancy Time, we gots a FALIN

28 - rest and recovery, dragon cooking season, Falin’s a lil OP now, Thistle Has Opinions

29 - hey guess what there’s still dragon in there, Thistle and Falin vs Laios and co, ghost rescue

30 - orcs on the fifth floor, Chilchuck would like his friends to live please, retreating to the surface?

31 - well shit going back is less easy than it looks, the moving maze, dryad snacks

32 - Tance resurrects Kabru and co, Kabru Swears To Go Home And Chill, attack of the corpse collectors, Kabru Has Morals

33 - Kabru and co working out who keeps “stealing” their stuff, a look at Laios and co from the outside and they all look shifty, sea serpent, Shuro and co meet Kabru and co

34 - teaching Laios healing magic, infinite energy in the dungeon, Laios mana sickness, the castle town is moving again, cockatrice, Marcille is petrified and pickling

35 - Chilchuck maps the dungeon city’s changes, dungeon cleaners, Shuro and Kabru and co arrive

36 - Kabru is kinda creepy okay, Chilchuck has something almost like a map, So Did You Fucking Save Falin (it’s complicated), Splitting The Party But For Safety Reasons, Laios tells Shuro and Kabru what has been happening including his Questionable Decisions, Shuro Backstory Via Maizuru

37 - Shuro is stabby and Kabru is a dick, HARPIES, Laios Maybe Should Not Have Told Shuro, Falin on the rampage

38 - Kabru Fucking Murders Falin (or DID he), reviving everyone, Laios vs Shuro, Marcille can MAYBE heal people I GUESS, Kabru has anatomy question, monster dinner for Kabru, Kabru and Shuro’s combined co go back to the surface and leave their supplies behind

39 - Suspiciously Convenient Downwards Stairs, why are we being attacked anyway, shapeshifters are just like us actually, Laios and all his impressions are super obvious so you can’t be mad

40 - Laios and crew with the shapeshifters cooking challenge

41 - Izutsumi joins the party, use your tools properly, decursing Izutsumi

42 - nightmares, Laios and Marcille

43 - reaching where the dragon fight took place, ice golem, Izutsumi and Chilchuck bond

44 - Izutsumi gets Namari’s coat, flashbacks with Izutsumi, barometz

45 - Kabru and Shuro’s crews reach the surface, Canaries reach the governor and Kabru reports, Laios Sees Dead People

46 - spirit kidnapping, the Golden Country and domesticated monsters, the mad sorcerer’s curse, Prophecies And You

47 - dungeon pancakes in the golden company, Yaad experiences Consequences, frozen over floor, That Is A Griffin Not A Falin

48 - griffin done kidnapped Senshi, making familiars, it turns out crafting skills are important, Senshi rescue

49 - Senshi’s Tragic Backstory™️, griffin vs hippogriff soup

50 - first changeling day! Elf Senshi, through the golden door

51 - changeling’d Laios and co vs gargoyles, We Are The Mushroom Circle, wash up

52 - dwarf elevator, Falin and Laios backstory, Canaries reach the dungeon

53 - Kabru, Namari, Canaries, the shadow governor and Mithrun being intensely fuckable

54 - Kabru, Namari and Shuro, mushrooms attack, Thistle Sighted

55 - Mithrun vs Thistle Round 1, Laios’ party have been changelinged take 2 (ogre Marcille) and eating ointment

56 - bicorn Laios’ party, the Chilchuck wife reveal

57 - flashback Falin and Laios take Marcille to the dungeon for the first time, headless horseman comes for some bicorn

58 - Laios’ party, succubi attack and the party goes down, Izutsumi focused

59 - Izutsumi’s succubi and party replenishment

60 - Laios’ succubus dreams and winged lion conversation, Laios the Dungeon Lord

61 - Kabru backstory reveal, Mithrun’s broke ass self reveal, Be sure not to want too much, The Ship Begins

62 - Mithrun the Dungeon Lord, footrubs work fuck you, their week alone and teleport scroll to meet up with the Canaries

63 - Laios and crew find Thistle’s house, phoenix fight and cooking, found book 1

64 - Marcille opens the book, need to make a meal for Falin

65 - dungeon rabbits and Marcille’s corpse tour

66 - top floor of the dungeon, Bickering Next To Holes Is Bad Actually, Kabru and the Canaries have a snack and Mithrun will not fucking stop staring, Laios and crew prepare a meal, Thistle is Suffering

67 - flashbacks with Laios and Falin, Laios kills Falin, Ready to take and have something taken

68 - Thistle’s backstory, someone has CLEANED, fuck you winged dragon

69 - Thistle and the Dragons nearly rock up a tpk

70 - Thistle shoulda researched dragons more

71 - Laios bondages Thistle to solve problems, Thistle instead creates a new problem

71.1 - Daydream Hour 4, character sketches, Canaries

72 - Thistle’s Brand New Feeder Fantasies, winged dragon eats Thistle and frees Laios and co to recover, Izutsumi finds Yaad

73 - Marcille is hung over, the Canaries and Kabru reach Thistle’s house, Cithis decides it’s hypno-time and Mithrun hunts down Thistle for round 2 (unneeded)

74 - Mithrun constantly accidentally menaces Marcille, Marcille unseals the winged dragon

75 - Mithrun vs Demon round 1, Marcille becomes Dungeon Lord and spiders it up

76 - Kabru, Canaries, Laios and co aftermath of Marcille’s leaving, dealing with the injured, Kabru sucks at explanations and Lycion is impatient, Canaries lose Laios and co

77 - orcs have captured Shuro and Namari, the dungeon shifts

78 - monsters running rampant, Namari and Shuro and Flamelle trying to work out what to do to save the world, sides picked for/against Laios as Dungeon Lord (he isn’t but okay)

79 - Marcille sees Falin and her dad, Laios and crew don’t drown yet, the Canary familiar army gets weird and eats them and promptly regrets it

80 - pooped out by coatl, Laios and co reunite with Marcille to discuss wtf, demon is a stripper, Laios says maybe stop Marcille says stay in the kitchen and make me a sammich

81 - Laios and co getting into Marcille’s past with FakeDad, do in fact make her a sammich, it does not work and subterfuge is still needed to escape

82 - phone calls on the surface, dungeon is leaking

83 - Kabru and the Canaries see the crack, monsters line up for combat, Marcille gets a new outfit that 1000% does not stop Mithrun from coming for her ass, Mithrun vs Marcille round 2 but he’s been listening and totally tries talking her down one whole time, Canaries tpk’d except Lycion

84 - Laios rescues Lycion, reconnects with Kabru Shuro and Namari, demon shares its goals and sides square up to contain the dungeon, monsters stop to let Laios and co through to see Marcille

85 - Laios and co find Falin in the tower, Marcille drowning in desires but the strongest one is for DRAMA (Chilchuck’s family)

86 - monsters will not listen to Marcille’s stop, sealing the bookhand demon, How do I stop being a dungeon lord?, Laios offers to defeat the demon and resurrects Mithrun on that alone so he signs off on eating Falin

86.1 - Daydream Hour 5, alternate outfits and more Canary stories

87 - demon backstory, needs other site

88 - Laios and co inside the demon (still a thot), Laios makes a deal

89 - dropping of Marcille and the gang with Namari and the Canaries, “Laios” makes a break for the surface but IT IS MITHRUN WITH A STEAL CHAIR Mithrun vs Demon round 3, still no noticeable success

90 - what if y’all go hang out with monster Laios instead, The World Is Ending And It’s All My Fault (Marcille and Kabru), Mithrun Is Having None Of It, Marcille and co chase down “Laios”, demon arms go claw machine

91 - vore and reverse vore, Laios vs “Laios”, get cursed bitch

92 - back down the tower then oops gotta escape the dungeon anyway, Marcille and gang find Namari, looking for Laios

93 - Now We Have A Dinner Party, different groups coming to help, found Laios

94 - elves in the aftermath, Mithrun serving up Falin, leftovers and veggie scraps

95 - meal, About That Golden Country, resurrection take 2

96 - epilogue

[donteattheappleshook]

Not Broken At All Chapter 16/?

Summary:

A season 1 Neverland AU. Emma is still trying to adjust to her new life as Sheriff of Storybrooke and mom to Henry, who still believes everyone in town is a fairytale creature. When she finds a badly beaten, one handed man while patrolling, she’s convinced he’s crazy. He is, after all, rambling about fairies and shadows and crocodiles. But when Henry is suddenly taken out the window of a house everyone believes is haunted, the madman in the hospital might be her only hope of getting her son back. Whether he likes it or not.

Rated E

Catch up on Ao3 (where my italics work) or on Tumblr 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Oh hey, remember me? Remember this story I haven't updated in a year…… Please don't hate me lol Sorry for how long this took - this chapter was just impossible to write and time just kept passing. I'm hoping there won't be such a long break again but I know better than to make promises.

Hopefully some of you are still reading this and enjoy this new chapter!

Note that I made a small change to the last chapter (which fixed this one). You don't have to read it, just know that the lost boys who died on the beach are still out there.

Anyway… here you go! Sorry!

Thank you as always to @the-darkdragonfly for letting me just throw ideas at you about this story all the time and putting up with all the changes! 💕💕 And thank you @kmomof4 for looking this over and helping me decide on the ending 💕 (You can blame her! I kid... mostly)

Small content/trigger warning: This chapter includes more of the aftermath of the hunt. There are no children actively hurt in this chapter but there are bodies and burials and grief.

*******

Part 16

“Mom?”

The thundering of her heart rips her from sleep, hollow and echoing with the blood rushing in her ears, painful in her chest. But there’s only darkness in the small room of the ship, eyes wide and unfocused, the remnants of a dream she can’t remember still making shapes in the dark. She could have sworn she heard it, like it was there in the room with her. But there's no one here - only Killian still in the bed next to her, the arm that had held her close before now outstretched beneath her as he sleeps. A dream. Neverland playing tricks on her - or one of the lost boys above deck calling out to the dark for their mother. 

“Momma?” That one’s real, quieter. One of the children must have found a way down, wandering the halls looking for someone he’ll never find. “Mummy…” That one is heartbreaking. She rises from the bed, Killian not stirring as she slips from the sheets and makes her way quietly across and out of the room. The boys were told not to come down here - better she find whoever it is than one of the pirates. “Mom?” There’s no one there to accompany the sound in the dim light of the lantern outside the cabin and she hesitates, looking towards where the disembodied voice came from. Whoever they are, it sounds like they’re making their way back to the deck on their own… “Mom?” 

The word cuts through her, paralyzes her, heart so tight in her chest she can’t breathe. Henry. She knows his voice - already so deeply ingrained in every part of her being after such a short time that hearing it now is like a piece of herself lost and calling out to be found. 

“Emma?” Softer, getting further away from her - losing him all over again. Her bare feet make no sound as she runs past the crew’s quarters, past the bosun’s room and the galley towards the deck. The door creaks wearily as she climbs the steps and opens it to the night air. The lost boys are asleep - all of them - every single one exhausted from the horrors of the day and she pads carefully through the bodies - sleeping and dead - searching. Henry’s not among them. The ship holds that eerie Neverland silence she can’t get used to, no crashing of waves or rustle of wind, the faint discordant song of the Lorelei the only hiss of sound as it floats in and out on the sea. 

“Mom?” 

Her eyes snap to the back of the Jolly. “Henry?” she hisses. 

“Mom!” Emma nearly stumbles over a sleeping child as she tries to catch up to him before he’s lost to her again. He found her. Of course he did, just like before. She should have known he would. She rounds the helm, heart pounding so violently it reaches the stern before she does. But there’s no one there, again, just an empty deck where a child should be, where her son should be. 

“Where are you?” There’s nowhere else to search, only the sea that surrounds them.

“Emma?” Wendy is standing in front of her, head cocked. “What are you doing up here?” 

She looks towards where her son should be, where the voice no longer calls out to her. There’s nothing there, no one, just the sleeping boys, just Will. 

“Did you see him?”

“See who?” 

“Henry. Did you see him? Did you see where he went?” 

“Henry? There’s no one else up here. It’s just me and the new recruits. You must have been dreaming.”

“I know what I heard. I know my son.” The other woman’s expression turns pitying and Emma’s shoulders tense. “I heard him.” 

Wendy’s frown deepens and when she speaks her voice has the same tone that hers had when she’d been trying to calm Hook in the hospital, the one you use to console a crazy person. “I’m sure you did.”

“It wasn’t a dream.” But even as she says it she starts to doubt her own words. There’s no sign of him, no sign that he was ever here. Wendy wouldn’t lie about that. 

She sighs. “I believe you.” She does, but she also doesn’t believe Henry’s on the ship either. Emma goes to the ship’s edge, careful not to trip over any sprawled limbs, and squints out at the beach against the sun that’s just starting to rise. Maybe he’s not on the Jolly. Maybe he’s somewhere out there. There’s no sign of him on the blood soaked sand and relief settles like a stone in her throat even as the fear of not knowing where he is rises up again. “Neverland plays tricks, Emma.” Wendy joins her at the bow, leaning against the rail, back straight and alert as she looks out at the carnage before them. “You can’t trust anything you hear. The shadows’ll do anything to lure you out.”

“The shadows?”

A nod. “They see into your dreams, see what it is you want most and use it against you. It’s how so many of the boys end up here in the first place.” Wendy’s shoulders sag a little, looking out at the bodies on the beach. It’s the closest Emma’s seen her come to breaking the hard mask she’s worn so well since the hunt started - the real person behind the cold captain. “And now they’ll never leave.”

“What happens to the bodies?” she asks, looking back at the dead, carefully wrapped in sheets on the deck.

“We bury the ones who made it here at sea. Neverland takes back the rest.” 

Emma frowns, eyes darting to the shore. “What do you mean it takes them back?” 

“They become the shadows that live in Dark Hollow, whispering to Pan, finding children, his way of keeping an eye on the outside world. He’ll come at sundown to collect them.” 

“They become the shadows?” she swallows, cold dread tasting bitter at the thought of all those kids having to become Pan’s creatures, forced to do his bidding forever. “The boys?”

Wendy nods and her stomach drops. 

“What about the ones who died here? Will they be shadows too?” 

She shakes his head. “Neverland magic can’t touch this ship. Whatever enchantment’s on it is powerful enough to keep even the darkness away.” Neverland can’t find you here. 

Emma hears her sigh when she looks back out at that beach. “Don’t even think about it.” She’s thinking about it. “He gets to keep his winnings. Those are the rules of the game. Those rules keep us alive.” 

She doesn’t answer, only gives the captain a small nod, thoughts still spinning with the cruelty of it all, that even in death these children can’t escape Pan. Wendy puts a hand on her shoulder, the gesture surprisingly consoling, the mask slipping again. “You’re not the only one who wishes it could be different.” 

Emma nods, grim and defeated, and Wendy pats her shoulder with a tight-lipped smile before turning towards where some of the children have started to stir. 

She wishes she could say she thought about it longer, or at all, really. But all she can think of is every single kid she knew growing up, all the ones who fell through the cracks, the ones who were given up on or abandoned, all the adults who threw up their hands and said there was nothing they could do - that was just how the system worked, that rules had to be followed. Fuck that. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” 

Wendy’s shout echoes above her, cut off by the water when she plunges into it. It takes her deeper than she expected it to, the fall further than she thought, but she kicks wildly, eyes burning against the salt until she breaks the surface. And then she’s swimming, boots and vest heavy against the waves, hat lost somewhere between the ship and the surface, but she keeps going. She can make this swim, she’s made it before - and she has a purpose now. 

She stumbles as she climbs onto the beach, the tide pulling at her knees and then her ankles like it’s trying to draw her back to where it’s safe. Emma fights it, running and slipping across the sand once it’s hot and dry beneath her feet and collapsing beside the first boy she finds. He’s tall and wiry, limbs stretched out, calf-like, not yet grown into his elbows and knees. And now he never will. 

She kneels beside him, stroking his cheek before closing his eyes. Salt water drips onto his skin, turning dried blood fresh again as she tells him she’s sorry - that this happened, that she couldn't do anything to stop it, that Pan gets to keep living. She doesn’t know how long she just sits there with him, looking out at all the other kids who won’t ever go home. 

“Swan…” No. She’s not going back - not leaving them here. She slides her arms under the boy’s shoulders, heaving his limp, heavy frame onto her chest, not sure how she plans to get him back to the ship, just that she will. “Swan.” She ignores it, digging her heels into the sand, trying to plant them under her enough that she can get to her feet. But it slips away beneath her boots and she falls on her ass again and again. She’s not leaving him here. She’s not leaving any of them here.

“Swan.” 

“What!” she snaps, barely looking up at him, wet hair plastered to his face, coat left behind, shirt soaked in water and salt. She can’t get her legs steady enough beneath her, can’t lift the kid any higher into her arms, so she starts to drag him back across the beach, holding tight to his chest as she makes it inch by inch, blonde head rolling limply against her shoulder. 

“Emma,” Killian says softly when she stumbles, she and the boy fall back against the sand. If he says her name one more goddamn time… His hand is gentle on her arm, stopping her as she moves to stand again and she looks up, ready for a fight, whatever she has to, but she’s taking this kid back to his stupid, magical ship where he can rest in fucking peace. 

But his gaze isn’t scolding, not a warning or even pity and he reaches for the boy in her arms, taking his weight from her and hoisting him over his shoulder. He fixes her carefully with a solemn, resolved stare when she stands to meet his gaze. “There’ll be consequences.” 

She looks back towards the shoreline where Will and Wendy are standing by the dinghy. “Do you care?” she asks him, turning to the others, “Do any of you care?” There are more coming out of the water now, pirates and lost boys marching onto the beach.

The residual anger fades from Wendy’s eyes, hardening into something different, and then she kneels beside a small body, this one looking too young to have been on this side of the hunt. “John didn’t make it off the beach,” is all she says before lifting him from the sand and meeting Emma’s eyes with equal determination. 

Will shrugs. “Pan already wants me dead,” he says, bending to pick up another child, cradling the boy to his chest. “Might as well be for a good reason.”

Slowly, the others begin doing the same, gathering the fallen, some searching for brothers, friends, others finding any they can carry. Emma follows Killian’s gaze to where two older kids come to the aid of a young boy trying to pick up a bigger body that bears him a painful resemblance - a brother no doubt. She doesn’t miss the way Killian watches them carry him across the beach, the younger boy not letting go of his brother’s sleeve. He’d lost his brother here as well, to Pan’s cruelty. She wonders how long ago it was, wonders if any amount of time matters. 

Emma follows Killian as he brings the tall boy’s body to the dinghy and sets him down gently. 

“So what now, Swan?” he says, turning to look at the Lost Boys gathering their fallen friends, “You’ve declared war on Pan. And these boys will follow you to the end now. Where will you lead them?” 

Emma spares another glance at the beach, at the pirates that were Lost Boys and the Lost Boys that will be pirates, all of them stolen from their lives and their families for Pan’s enjoyment. “Home. When this is over, and Pan is dead, we’re taking them home. All of them.”

“Aye,” he says, with an edge of something she can’t place in his voice, his gaze holding hers just a moment too long before he moves to collect another body, damp skin and drying shirt becoming stained with someone else’s blood. He hesitates, casting a glance back at her. “They aren’t the only ones who’ll follow you,” he tells her before turning and walking back towards the shore.

***

There are twice as many bodies on the deck as there had been last night, a sea of white cloth laid out on the bow of the Jolly like snowfall, twice as many ghosts wrapped in sheets waiting to be buried at sea. There are twice as many lost boys too, half of them no longer cowering by the edge of the ship’s rail, gazing longingly out at the island they’d just escaped. Instead they stand in rows, backs straight and heads bowed, already falling in line, already soldiers as they wait for their captain to speak. 

They’d sailed further from land than Emma’s been since they first arrived, the water deeper here, where no light can reach the depths even with the sun burning high and bright above them, and no shadows can be cast. “They’re weakest when the sun is at its peak, where the light can’t cast them further,” Wendy had explained. “At night though… at night the whole world is shadow.” 

Killian stands tense before them, Wendy and Will at his side, the two captains and their first mates. There’s something off in the line of his shoulders, in the way his thumb keeps sliding over the rings he wears. She’d seen him in the aftermath of the hunt, surrounded by the bodies, used to death and slaughter and cruelty. He’d held back then, composed and calm as always around the boys and young men that had survived. But as he looks at the sea of white, the cannonballs tied to their ankles that will drag them all down into the darkness where the shadows can’t reach them, she can see him losing that tenuous grip on his cool indifference. So can Wendy, if the hint of sympathy barely cracking through her own harsh disguise is anything to go on. 

When she thinks that he might not manage it, that his first mate might have to step in and take over, he lets out a bitter sigh. “Best not to draw it out.” Will steps forward, he and Killian lifting the closest body onto a plank balanced on the rail, held steady by two of the older crewmen - both barely out of their teens - preparing to tilt the body into the sea. 

Before he can raise his hand to signal the order, a small boy appears at his side, and Killian freezes. Emma hadn’t seen him break rank, hadn’t seen him make his way across the deck - no more than seven or eight years old.  She recognizes him, the one who’d been trying to carry his brother on the beach. She wonders what he could have possibly done for Pan to decide he’d had his fill of time in Neverland. 

The boy’s coat is tattered and dirty from however long he’d been in the jungle, and her reaches into it to pull something out, and then stretches as far as he can to reach across the body that’s nearly at eye level with him. And there, in the center of white sheet, he sets a baseball card down on the fallen boy’s chest. 

Emma doesn’t breath, the men holding the plank staring at the card, everyone on deck silent and frozen. The child moves to Killian’s side then, tugging at the thick leather of his sleeve until the captain leans down and gives the boy his attention. “Jack.” 

A strange sort of uncertainty falls over the crowd at the sound of the lost boy’s name. This is clearly not how things are done. Even the newest recruits shift uncomfortably - waiting. She watches the understanding settle in the line of Killian’s shoulders as he nods at the newest member of his crew. After a moment, one of the men who’d been holding the plank reaches out and tucks the card into the folds of the sail and then looks to his captain. Killian turns to the boy before nodding again.

“Jack,” he repeats, loud enough for everyone to hear.

There’s barely a splash as the body disappears beneath the surface, hardly a sound in that chilling stillness that Neverland possessed, but it resonates across the deck and Emma feels something shift. Wendy moves to help lift the next body onto the plank as Killian waits. A name is called from somewhere near the back, too quiet to place among the rows of former lost boys, but Killian repeats it as he had first one and there’s a moment of solemnness before another splash echoes across the deck. 

He names each of them -they all do - friends and brothers calling out to identify the fallen, to remember them before they’re laid to rest where Pan will never find them, where he’ll never hurt them again. 

***

“What do you think he’ll do?” 

Killian looks up at her standing in his doorway, shirt slipping over his head, catching on his hook. “Pan?” He sets to working the fabric free, hair windswept and sticking up at strange angles, skin still marked with the blood of the children he’d carried. 

Emma nods. He’d said there’d be consequences and she hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it since they’d gotten the last boy off the beach and onto the ship, his body wrapped in a sheet and sent to the depths with the others.

“I don’t know, but he won’t be happy.” 

She worries her lip between her teeth, casting a glance down the hall to the steps where overhead the boys are being introduced to their new life of piracy. “Darling makes ‘em spend days scrubbing the ship clean when they first come aboard. Says it ‘builds character’,” Will had explained. “Let it go already - it’s been nine years.” 

“Not having second thoughts, are you?” 

She shakes her head. She knows she did the right thing, that the children that died yesterday deserved some amount of dignity, of care, even in death, that those who lived deserved to see that they mattered, that they would be missed, that they wouldn’t be cast aside or forgotten. And that they wouldn’t be forced to be a tool in Pan’s neverending need for more playthings. 

“No, but I guess… I guess I didn’t consider that the consequences might not just be mine.” He could come for any of them. As far as Pan knows, she doesn’t exist. But Killian and Wendy, Will and everyone else on this ship could fall victim to Pan’s anger because of her. 

“Every person out there made a choice today, Swan. Something they haven’t been able to do in a very long time.” He finally gets the shirt free of his brace and lifts his gaze to hers. “Whatever consequences befall us now, the burden will be all of ours to bear. Not just yours.” He waits until she nods in agreement, then moves to dip his hand and hook into a basin, Emma watching as the water turns a murky red. “I will say though, Swan, I pity Pan for when he finally finds himself on the wrong side of your wrath. You’ve turned all of Neverland against him, even his own.”

“I think he did that himself when he tried to kill them.”

Killian shakes his head, grabbing a dampened cloth with his hook and scrubbing at the blood and sand dried to his hand. “The fact that they’d defy Pan and choose their fallen friends… the fact that half of them didn’t run for the treeline to beg him to take them back… You’ve changed something, love. You’ve done more for the creatures of this island in a week than any of us have managed in centuries.”

“I couldn’t just do nothing,” she mutters, crossing her arms and shrugging awkwardly. 

Killian gives a short, humourless laugh, avoiding her gaze, scrubbing harder as the cloth continues to slip from his hook. “Believe me, Swan, it’s very easy to do nothing.”

Emma takes a step into the room. “You didn’t do nothing.” 

“I didn’t do nearly as much as I could have.” 

“Stop it,” she scolds, crossing the space between them and taking the rag from him. He startles as she grabs his wrist, running the cloth over the blood caked into his palm. She knows her hair and clothes probably look just as bad - everyone out on the deck today carrying the stain of Pan’s cruelty on their skin. “You did what you could while staying alive. You can’t protect people if you’re dead. You can’t protect your crew, and you can’t protect the kids Pan sends your way if you’re dead.” He doesn’t have an answer to that. Good. 

They stand in silence as she finishes her task. When she can’t pretend to be cleaning the now non-existent blood anymore - the most stubborn bit finally wiped clean - when she can’t avoid saying what she came to say anymore, she sighs. “Thank you.” 

“For what?” 

“I know you could have just as easily made me leave them there on the beach - that it probably would have been the safer choice.” 

She rests the cloth in his open hand, focusing on it instead of him. She’s not great at this ‘thank you’ thing, at people understanding her the way he had on the shore today. 

“I don’t think anyone could make you do anything easily, Swan,” he teases and she shrugs, matching his hesitant smirk. “And it may have been the safe thing to do, but it wouldn’t have been the right thing.” His fingers curl around hers, keeping her there and drawing her attention back to him. “I should thank you as well.” 

“For what?” she echoes, frowning. She’s pretty sure she’s done nothing but cause problems for him since she got here. 

“For reminding me that I can still choose to do the right thing. I’d started to believe I’d forgotten how.” 

Her frown deepens. “Killian, you’ve done the right thing since -'' always, she wants to say, since she met him and made him bring her back here. He’s done right by her and her son and everyone else here from the beginning. 

“Since you chained me to that bloody sick bed,” he finishes, smirking again even as he shakes his head in disbelief, thumb is stroking across her knuckles - she doesn’t think he means to be doing it. “I don’t seem to have the option where you’re concerned. It’s exhausting, really.” Emma does her best not to laugh, not when he takes a step closer, fingers curling more purposefully around hers, the metal of his ring cool against her skin as he drops the cloth, eyes focused on hers like he’s trying to find an answer in them.  Voice soft, the teasing gone now he breathes, “you’re a bloody marvel, Swan,” and he’s so damn close now that she can feel his words warm against her cheek, can smell the salt and leather and rum that clings to his skin even after a day like today. 

He doesn’t move and she can’t decide if she wants him to, if the pounding of her heart stems from a desire to have him close the distance between them or from fear of what it would mean if he did. He’s watching her like he’s trying to decide the same and the words come out before she can stop them.

“Are you going to kiss me again?” 

His brow quirks up in amusement, before it shifts into that smug arch that’s become so familiar. “I believe you’re the one who’s initiated all of our previous dalliances, love,” he points out and she can feel her face going hot because he’s not wrong - she’s been throwing herself at him every chance she gets since that first kiss that was meant to distract him. “But aye,” he continues before the embarrassment gives her time to second guess herself. His hand lifts to her cheek, thumb tracing over her lip. “If you’ve no objections…” 

She should have some objections - like that making out with the really hot, annoyingly heroic pirate that makes her feel all kinds of confusing things she doesn’t want to be feeling is a really bad idea. But her head shakes without her permission and then he’s leaning in, carefully and agonizingly slowly until his lips only barely brush hers, the taste and heat of his mouth leaving her aching for the promise of more. She’d accuse him of teasing, only it doesn’t feel like a tease, more like a question as his lips catch hers gently, chaste and slow before pulling away and hesitating a moment longer. 

Emma’s fingers reach to tangle in his hair as she resists the urge to pull him to her like she has in the past. He lets out a small sigh at her touch and she can almost taste it before his mouth is on hers again, kiss slow and deep, swallowing the small sound she lets out when his brace slides low across her back to draw her closer. He kisses her like they’ve never done this before, every brush of his lips and stroke of his tongue and exploration and she’ll never get over how strongly her body reacts to him and the all-consuming way his mouth claims hers. 

She breathes his name and he lets out a low growl, hand tightening in her hair, pulling her closer, teeth dragging over her lip like he can catch the sound before soothing it with his tongue. He walks them back across the room to the door, pushing it shut, cradling her head against the impact as he presses her into the wood, mouth not leaving hers. She’s taken aback for a moment by the gentleness of his touch, but then his lips leave hers to trail the length of her neck and the shuddering heat that burns her everywhere his tongue meets her skin has her arching into him, need pooling low in her stomach. 

Emma lets out a small whimper when he follows the line of her shirt to the swell of her breasts and Killian groans, pulling away, forehead resting against hers as they both pant into the space between them. “I don’t have the energy to do everything I want to do to you tonight,” he sighs.

“How about just some of it?” she asks and he laughs, hand tracing the same path his mouth had, stopping at the center of her chest, over her heart, and sounding as frustrated as she feels - but also just as exhausted. Today had been a trying day, even by Neverland standards, and they’re both weary and still covered in blood and dirt and sweat from the exertion. 

“I know,” she agrees with a sigh, even if she doesn’t like it. Her hands slide from where they’d woven themselves into his hair to settle on his chest, his skin warm and soft against the coarse hair, heart beating hard under her palm. “Can I…” He waits, gaze focused on her even as she looks at the floor. She hates feeling vulnerable, but with everything that’s happened, with what Wendy told her about the shadows, and the now growing threat of an angry, vindictive Pan she just… “Can I stay?” 

They hadn’t talked about it in the morning, about Emma coming to his room the night before, the ship so loud with the cries of those broken children thrust into adulthood too young, into piracy against their will. She’d been gone before he woke, chasing phantoms across the deck and jumping off ships and they’d pretended as though it had never happened. And she’d been grateful for that. It made her feel brave enough to ask now, to admit that she needed this.

He seems surprised by her question before an expression of gentle understanding softens his features. “Aye, love,” he nods, reaching to brush her probably wild and matted hair from her eyes. “I’d like that.” The hitch of her heart calms when she realizes that maybe he also doesn’t want to be alone tonight, that maybe he needs the comfort and safety of another person after all the tragedy they’ve seen these last few days. 

He kisses her again, soft and gentle and easing some of the dread that’s made a home in her chest since she left Storybrooke. She thinks he meant it to be chaste, but neither of them seem in any hurry to give up the press of his mouth against hers, the reassuring comfort of his heartbeat, beneath her palm, or the warmth of his calloused fingers against her cheek, the metal of his hook, cool and grounding on her hip. 

She lets it go on longer than she should for a kiss like this, one that isn’t building to anything else, that isn’t meant to excite or seduce but just to feel and savour something good for once, something easy. It’s the way she’d kissed him by the water on Solstice. It had been dangerous then and it was dangerous now. 

Still, Killian is the one to pull away first, Emma chasing his lips without meaning to before he clears his throat, cheeks flushed and an expression she can’t place in his eyes as they meet hers, like the one he’d worn in the brig - perhaps I would - and suddenly it’s all so much more than it was supposed to be, than it can or should be. He must sense it too because he takes a step back, fog still not fully cleared from his gaze as he straightens. 

“I should go ensure the crew are prepared for the night - that there’s a watch planned.” She peels herself off the door so that he can get by. “There’s hot water in the pitcher if you want to wash the day off,” he adds, waiting for her nod, returning it, and then darting out of the room. 

Emma sags back against the closed door. What the hell are you doing? She can’t be doing… this. Whatever this is. Not here, certainly not now when she should be focused on her mission, on her son, not when the last time she came close to this was… Her fingers brush over the boot laces tied around her wrist. Look how well that had ended. Look how well it always ends. 

By the time Killian returns she’s washed her hair and the worst of the grime from her skin before slipping under the covers in a stolen, clean shirt. She feigns sleep when she hears him move almost silently around the room, there’s the splash of water and the rustle of clothing as she forces her eyes to remain shut. It’s not until she knows he’s standing by the bed, hesitating, like he’s not sure he should still join her now that she’s ‘asleep’ - as though she didn’t ask him if she could spend another night in his bed- that she breaks her pretense. 

“Just get in, Killian.” There’s a pause, a stillness in the air before she feels the sheets move and the bed sag beside her as he slides in, settling on his side next to her but leaving enough room that there’s no risk of them touching. And it’s a palpable distance. “Do you… do you want to sleep alone?” she asks quietly, anxious now that this isn’t one of his frustrating gentleman streaks but that he’s changed his mind, that she’s imposing, asking too much of him. 

“No,” his voice is just as low as hers and she holds back a small sigh of relief. 

“Please don’t make me ask…” Emma feels him calm beside her, the awkward tension leaving him as he inches closer. His fingers ghost over her shoulder for a moment before he slides his arm around her waist and pulls her back against him.

“I’m here, Swan. You don’t have to ask.” The promise is breathed into her hair, lips pressing to the crown of her head as they had the night before and Emma shuts her eyes against the tears that burn at the edges of them. “You’re safe,” he tells her again, like he knows she needs to hear it, and she nods. She knows. Even as the cries of the lost boys drift into the room from above deck and the jungle beyond, she knows. 

She turns in his arms, tucking her hands beneath her cheek so she can see him, follow the outline of his jaw and neck in the moonlight that steals through the drawn curtains. Even his silhouette is beautiful, the light playing over the edges of his skin, turning it almost iridescent, and making her want to reach out and trace the curve of his bare shoulder and arm where the shadows suggest shapes in the dark. 

“You are too, you know.” Killian might be one of the bravest people she’s ever met, but she knows that Pan terrifies him. And today he pissed him off - because she asked him to. “If Pan wants any of you he’s gonna have to go through me first.” Bold words as they hide beneath the covers like children hoping they won’t be found.

She doesn’t have to see his eyebrow tick up to know that it is. “Aye?”

“I’m scarier than I look.” He bites down on a laugh or a teasing comment. Her fingers found their way to his elbow at some point - she hadn’t meant to. They follow the line of his bicep, his shoulder. “I can keep you all safe.” Her voice nearly breaks on the last word - because she has to. Henry, Killian, Wendy, Will, she needs all of them to survive this. She’s lost everyone she’s cared about. She won’t add them to the list.

His finger is gentle beneath her chin as hers dance across his collarbone and she lifts her gaze to the pale blue that shines even in the dim light. “We’ll keep each other safe then,” he offers like a compromise and she nods. She can do that. 

She doesn’t have to ask if he’s going to kiss her this time, and she doesn’t care enough to be conflicted by the fact that she wants him to - not here in the dark where her doubts can’t find her. His hand slides over her cheek, fingers tracing the shell of her ear to curl around the nape of her neck, like he’s mapping his way to her by touch. When he draws her in she goes willingly, mouth meeting his like muscle memory, the heat and feel and taste of him a familiar temptation that she could find blind.

He hums low in the back of his throat when her lips part beneath his in invitation, taking the opportunity to deepen the kiss, tongue hot and slow against hers, using his hooked arm to pull her close, legs tangling beneath the sheets. She’s on goddamn fire as he continues to touch her with nothing but his hand in her hair, lips not straying from hers, and it’s not fucking fair because nobody should be able to push all of her buttons and make her want them so badly without even trying. And he’s not trying. This is just… how he is with her, how they are together and it’s maddening and intoxicating and she wonders if it’s always like this when you care. 

Fuck. The thought stops her. Fuck, she cares. She cares if he lives or dies - if something were to happen to him… If it happened because of her, she doesn’t -

“Are you alright, love?” The words are spoken against her lips. No, she’s absolutely not. But she’s not dealing with that right now. She doesn’t want to deal with how or why or when she ended up caring so fucking much, what it could do to her, like it’s done so many times before. She shakes her head, ignoring his question, both her arms wrapping around his neck to pull him back to her, mouth slanting over his in a silent sort of plea. He returns it, though his kiss is gentler than hers, softer and less urgent than it had been a moment ago and her heart and mind grow a bit less frantic. 

He changes the pace, slowing her, calming her, Emma sinking into the purposeful slide of his mouth and tongue and the tug of his fingers in her hair. He pulls away, their breath shallow and he finds her eyes in the dark again. The shadows don’t let her read his expression, but he must see something in hers because his hand slips from her hair, following the strands down her back to her waist where it flattens against her hip, slipping beneath the fabric of her stolen shirt. He moves so slowly, like he expects her to stop him, or he’s just giving her the chance to, but the heat of his palm trailing up her side is the most agonizing kind of torment and she bites hard on her lip to keep from begging as he inches across her skin.

When his hand finds her breast she lets him swallow the gasp that escapes her and the small curse she lets out when his thumb rolls over her nipple. She breathes his name when he continues to touch her, her nails digging into the back of his shoulders when he moves to nip and lick at the pulse point of her neck. He releases her only long enough to work the few buttons of her shirt open and then his mouth is on her breast and the room fills with her poorly silenced gasps and pleas as he teases her with teeth and tongue. 

She’s grateful when he kisses her again, just as his fingers trail over her stomach and dip between her legs, muffling the sound that would have alerted anyone still awake to exactly what was taking place in the dark of the cabin. His touch is fucking perfect, like he’d watched her in that fairy field where he talked her over the edge because ever stroke and curl and thrust is exactly what she likes, exactly what she needs and she knows it won’t take long. 

Killian falters when she reaches for him, fingers sliding into the soft, slippery fabric of his pants and finding him hard and straining in her hand. He bites out her name like a curse when she strokes him and he tries and fails to regain his composure. When her mouth claims his he groans into the kiss, his fingers matching the pace she sets with her hand on him and the roll of her hips. His thumb finds her clit and she bites his lip at the meticulousness of his touch, determined and fervid and she thinks he must be close too if he’s trying to send her over the edge so urgently.

Her free hand is vice-like in his hair, holding him to her as they whisper hushed gasps and curses into each other’s mouths and Emma has to turn her head into his shoulder, teeth sinking into his skin as she feels her climax building, hips rocking frantically as he brings her higher and higher. Her grip on his cock tightens, her strokes faster as she nears that edge. His words fall out in a choked mix of encouragement and pleasure, beard rough against her skin, breath hot on her neck, until she feels him tense against her. He groans a muffled ‘fuck, please, Swan,’ against her throat, fingers curling and urging and then she’s coming, back arching and her cry cut off by his mouth on hers before she feels him spill himself in her hand. 

“Fuck,” Killian curses, low and breathless in the stillness of the Neverland night. She doesn’t have any words, heart still racing and eyes still shut tight, her body feeling like it’s going to float away despite the heaviness in her limbs. She tugs his mouth back to hers with the grip she still has on his hair and the groan he lets out almost makes her feel bad, exhaustion and desperation and desire wrapped into one, low sound. 

He kisses her again, lips moving to her neck, her shoulder, her breast, and she’s about to warn him not to start something he can’t finish as the low hum of warmth settles over her skin, but then his fingers tug the edges of her shirt closed gently, pressing one last kiss to her mouth before standing and retrieving a cloth.

“Was that one of the things you had in mind?” she teases when she hands it back to him and he discards it. Her voice is still breathless and strained as he climbs back into the bed, sliding beneath the covers and taking her hand in his. She watches as he raises it to his lips, placing a kiss to the center of her palm and then weaving his fingers through hers. She tries not to let her heart grow frantic with the mix of fear and longing that surges when he lets their entwined hands rest in the bare space between them. 

“That was… wholly unexpected,” he rasps, thick with sleep and sex. She thinks his eyes are drifting shut, the strain of the day finally taking him even as his thumb strokes carefully over the back of hers, slower and slower as he’s pulled under. 

She watches him for a moment longer, making out the line of his brow and cheek in the dark, the steady rise and fall of his chest, more relaxed than she’s ever seen him. And as she pulls his hand to her mouth, lips settling against the cool metal of his rings, she knows exactly what he means. 

***

Emma wakes to a hand pressed firmly over her mouth, her eyes darting open in panic, muscles tensed, braced for a fight. But where she expects an intruder she finds only Killian, face close to hers, finger held to his lips, and she’d fucking deck him for scaring the shit out of her like this if it weren’t for the seriousness of his expression, the fear he just barely hides beneath the command. She knows that fear can only mean one thing, even before he whispers it into the darkness, eyes darting towards the ceiling, to the deck above them.

Pan.

******

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[poppitron360]

Sharing a snippet of all my main WIPs to help me remember why I love them and motivate me to keep writing part 3-

Part 1/Part 2/Part 3/Part 4/Part 5/Part 6/Part 7/Part 8/Part 9/Part 10/Part 11/Part 12

This is one of my angstier ones

The first thing that hit Frank as he entered Leo’s room was the smell. Rotting food, burning, unwashed bedsheets, and the putrid, coppery stench of what Frank hoped wasn’t dried blood.

Then his eyes adjusted to the darkness, and what he saw was even worse.

It was written everywhere. On every square inch of the walls, across all the tables, the floor, the bedsheets, the ceiling, Leo’s notebooks, the curtains. In large and small letters, block capitals, jagged lines, neat cursive, scrawled messily, etched carefully. In pen, sharpie, ink, paint, carved into the plaster, scratched into the wood, and yes, painted in blood. Everywhere in that small room were written the same sentence over and over.

It took a moment for Frank to even register Leo. He was melted completely into the shadows, his skin covered in soot and ash and dust, like he hadn’t moved from that corner in years. He made no sound, just curled there, breathing shakily. His clothes were in tatters. He looked so small and frail. His waist was unhealthily thin, Frank could see his ribcage through the rips in his shirt. He looked emaciated from famine. Frank saw two week’s worth of mouldy food on the windowsill, untouched, which explained the smell.

Frank moved closer, and noticed another reason why Leo blended in so well into the shadows. Drawn all over his body and clothes in pen, ink, and Frank realised with horror, cut into his skin, was the same words that were written on the walls.

Frank crouched down, and moved in close enough to hear that Leo was muttering something, almost inaudible. The same sentence that covered the room, covered his skin and clothes. The same repeating phrase over and over and over again. The horrible refrain that chilled Frank to the bone.

“You should have stayed dead.”

Leo had gone mad.

[celticbotanart]

the other day on bluesky I made one of those "1 like / 1 song" sort of post, and I decided to make all songs BR music to celebrate our BR community in there, and I decided to also put a brief description on each song to give non-BRs some context [LINK to the post on bsky!] Well, I got like 64 likes lmao so I made a playlist out of the post - here it is!

and to those curious, I'll also paste the context I gave behind each song, down the cut. BR music is SO incredible and so full of colors and variety, you guys should really give it a try 💚💛💙 I hope you like it!!

commission info | patreon | Ko-fi | VGen | bluesky

1. Caxangá - Elis Regina and Milton Nascimento Opening the thread with two of the biggest singers in our BR history, Milton Nascimento & Elis Regina (who has passed already years ago, unfortunately). They were best friends when she was still alive, and their synergy is out of this world, both with super unique voices <3

2. Domingo no Parque or "Sunday at the Park" - Gilberto Gil & Os Mutantes BR used to have these big music festivals back in the 60s, this is one of these performances. Gil is this larger than life singer, and Rita Lee,lead singer of Mutantes (RIP) was so full of energy too <3 This is a song about love and jealousy that ends in a tragic murder 👀 3. Construção or "Construction" - Chibo Buarque I'm only bringing the big guns to this thread lmao this song is NOTORIOUS for the way it was written, musically and lyrically. It's a protest song commenting about the BR dictatorship (1964-1985) in many layers. The orchestra here is insane, mimicking the sound of a busy traffic!

4. Faraó or "Pharao" - Margareth Menezes this song is iconic AF in so many levels!! Lots of African-BR influences, and Margareth sings about the golden era of Egyptian gods as a way to celebrate the black community <3 (pretty much a fast course on Egyptian mythology in the lyrics, no joke!) 🚨🚨🚨EU FALEI FARAÓOOOOOOO!!!🚨🚨🚨

5. A Vingança de Cunhã, or "Maiden's Revenge" - Pietá this one's about the boto(river dolphin)myth we have here(river dolphin turns into a man to seduce young women and leaves them after). Here the dolphin seduces this girl but she reverse-uno-cards him and he cant shapeshift anymore. Very pretty song full of BR folk instruments!💛

6. Malandragem or "Trickery"(???I guess??) - Cássia Eller time to show what BR music is widely known for:LESBIAN / BISEXUAL / WLW SINGERS lmao (I'm so serious!!) Cassia Eller (RIP!) had the most unique voice, and had such a great stage energy! This one is one of her most well-known performances in an MTV Acoustic <3

7. Nós or "Us" - Cássia Eller bc I can't get enough of Cassia, I'll add in another one from her, legit MY FAVORITE- a torch song with this flamenco-like sound???? It's just so cool!! And she showcases her voice skills even further here, she was incredible!

8. Vamos Comer Caetano or "Let's Eat Caetano" - Adriana Calcanhotto I love this performance bc this song is so fucking weird but also such a bop (and hard to explain, if anyone wants to try, be my guest lmao)

9. Veleiros or "Sailboats" - Ney Matogrosso singing Heitor Villa-Lobos this is a 2 for 1 situation, the song is performed by ICONIC BR singer Ney Matogrosso in an album of songs written by BR conductor and classic composer Heitor Villa-Lobos! I'm crazy about the entire album this song is in for real, it's called "O Cair da Tarde", I highly recommend it!

10. Bachianas Brasileiras n5: Aria (Cantilena) - Heitor Villa-Lobos and since we are at it, here's the most famous song by Heitor Villa-Lobos (I'm a Villa-Lobos stan ngl) Full on opera mode!! It's a beautiful aria, sang in BR-Portuguese <3

11. Choros no 10 - Heitor Villa-Lobos Another Villa-L just to showcase his range - last 2 I mentioned were very romantic / operatic w/ solo vocals,etc. This is an instrumental orchestral movement and here you can see how he mixed in classic European orchestra with our identity, using folk/indigenous instruments on the 2nd half!

12. Miragem do Porto or "Harbor's Mirage" - Lenine Perfect segue into this performance of Lenine my beloved <3 <3 He sings as if he's a castaway, dreaming of going back home. This version has a full orchestra, also full of folk instruments and influences. It's so full of energy even the conductor can't help but sing along! EASTER EGG TIME cause this version I described on bsky is not on Spotify, I had to use the album version on the playlist. So if you are A TRUE CHAD reading this, here is the version I described!

13. Preciso Me Encontrar or "[I] Need to Find Myself" - Cartola Cartola was the most important samba composer from the early 1900's <3 And YES! Using the Cowboy Bebop AMV someone made w/ it, bc it's so beautiful and I think it's so AWESOME how this song echoes through all culture and ages! And it matches CB's aesthetics so well!

14. Preciso Me Encontrar, Liniker cover I have to throw in this AMAZING cover of "Preciso Me Encontrar"; it's sung by Liniker, an incredible BR trans singer! Again, I think it's beautiful how this song resonates so much after so many years (it was originally released by Cartola in the 70s), and this video is just gorgeous overall <3 - ALSO NOT AVAILABLE ON SPOTIFY, here's the link!

15. Floral Fury - Cuphead OST Thread intermission - Cheating a little bit here, since this isnt composed by a Brazilian person afaik, but!!! I have to include Floral Fury here bc it's literally early 1900's samba! IT EVEN HAS A CUÍCA (the "straw through plastic cup sound" lmao), it's very accurate and ngl, it's FUN AF!

16. Um Girassol da Cor de Seu Cabelo or "A Sunflower in the Color of Your Hair" - Lô Borges / Clube da Esquina Clube da Esquina is formed by this group of singers from Minas Gerais (including Milton Nascimento from the first song in this thread!) Vocals by Lô Borges, it really has a melancholic, storytelling vibe to it,especially through the arrangement <3

17. Cantiga Por Luciana or "Song for Luciana" - Evinha Another oldie from the 60s I love so much, she has such a pretty voice ahhh<3 She's one of the "voiceclaims" for an OC I have (AME from my drizzle/LAND OCs!) Fun fact! Evinha was the one who sang the BR versions of the songs in Disney's "The Rescuers" (I'll link one next so you can hear it)!

Brazilian dub version of "The Journey" from "The Rescuers", performed by Evinha, from the previous post! Here, the movie was titles "Bernardo e Bianca", after the protagonists I legit think this is one of the best BR versions, and this animated intro in general is a freaking masterpiece. THIS BR VERSION ISNT IN SPOTIFY, HERE'S THE LINK!

Favo de Mel or "Honeycomb" - Milton Nascimento Speaking of BR singers in animations, I HAVE to link this one from no other than freaking Rio 2. It's "Real in Rio", that intro song from Rio 1, but a "sad version" of it performed BEAUTIFULLY by Milton Nascimento my beloved <3 I legit teared up watching the movie when this song came up. NOT ON FUCKING SPOTIFY, HERE IS THE LINK!

"Only a Dream in Rio - Milton Nascimento and James Taylor On Milton Songs That Makes Me Teary Eyed, this one which he collabed with James Taylor?? It's such a random, unexpected feat, but it turned out so beautiful! I think it's a good one to share in here, bc the song is sung half PT-BR, half ENG, I think it's rather appropriate for this thread <3

21. Fairy Tale - Shaman LEGENDARY live performance from metal band Shaman from the early 2000's, when their original vocalist Andre Matos (song writer, pianist, conductor; RIP) was still in the band. Here you can see why Andre was so, so beloved, guy was skilled AF and this song SLAPS SO HARD. BR IS SO AMAZING, GUYS (the version I mentioned above is the one on the playlist, HOWEVER I encourage you to actually watch the video of him performing!!

22. Carolina IV - ANGRA Still on Andre Matos, this is a song from his previous band, ANGRA. This song is part of a concept album where ANGRA mixed in metal+BR elements, you can say this is BR folk metal! The album Holy Land was all around the concept of Brazil, its culture, the colonization and so on. SO COOL!

23. Dança das Borboletas or "Dance of the Butterflies" - Sepultura and Zé Ramalho I can't talk about BR metal without mentioning Sepultura! So here's their cover of Zé Ramalho's song, featuring Zé in the vocals. This was used as soundtrack in the BR movie "Lisbela e o Prisioneiro" (a fave)(Don't be fooled by the butterflies in the title lmao)

24. O Matador or "The Killer" - Sepultura another Sepultura song for the soundtrack of "Lisbela e o Prisioneiro", I like that movie a lot. This is the theme song of Frederico Evandro, a character who's a badass gun for hire. I love how it sounds so metal but still so Brazilian!

25. O Encontro de Lampião & Eike Batista or "The Meeting of Lampião & Eike Batista" - El Efecto More BR folk metal! This is hard to explain w/word limit but TL;DR this song criticizes capitalism and colonization by corporations using the images of Lampião (BR historical figure) and Eike Batista (a real BR CEO); it uses lots of northeast BR influences!

26. Cílio or "Eyelash" - Casa de Caba YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IS IT ITS TIME FOR LUSO-BR PIRATE SHANTIES OK not really but this is how I see this song! Again northeastern BR influences + mention of Yemanjá (yoruba orisha of the seas, she's a big deity in afro-br religions!). If this isn't BR pirate enough idk what it is hehe

27. Arueira - Geraldo Vandré Another one in the "BR pirate shanties" list, which is kinda funny - is a protest song from the 60s and it in fact has elements in common with some sea shanties - CALL/ANSWER singing, it mentions how workers are suffering under hard work / a master,it even has nautical themes (sailors,sea,etc)

28. Canção do Mar or "Song of the Sea" - Dulce Pontes cheating a little again cause Dulce Pontes is a Portuguese singer, but mentioning all the "Luso-BR Sea Shanties", I had to mention this ICONIC performance! This is "fado", a melancholic Portuguese genre of music; I like to parallel it a bit with Irish keening style of singing

29. Canto de Oxum / Inscrição or "Oxum's Song" - Maria Bethânia still in the theme of waters! Iconic Maria Bethânia sings to Oxum, the orisha of fresh waters and beauty! Here in BR, we have afro-based religions that worships such yoruba deities, and we often hear songs praising them like this. The second half praises Yemanjá, deity of the seas!

30. Deixa a Gira Girar - Ana Mametto This one is a cover of Ana Mametto (og song by The Tincoãs released in the 70s), praising Iansã the orisha of the lightning and storms! This performance is so cool cause there's a dancer there with Ana, as Iansã herself dancing onstage + lightning sound effects. ITS JUST INCREDIBLE [LINK TO THE VIDEO!]

31. Vapor Barato or "Cheap Vapor" - Gal Costa and Zeca Baleiro this version of Vapor Barato/A FLor da Pele is everything. Gal and Zeca being fucking iconic for 6mins straight, this song is so melancholic, almost theatrical <3

32. Garoto de Aluguel or "Rentboy"- Belchior and Zé Ramalho it's easy to say Belchior (RIP) is like. Pivotal BR music icon. And here with Zé Ramalho they perform together in this song that's lowkey my favorite lmao, the tango vibes ARE STRONG and I love it so much!

33. Na Hora do Almoço or "At Lunchtime" - Belchior Another Belchior banger-it describes this young person talking about their family at lunchtime, and how everyone is so disconnected from another, "I'm still too young to be this sad", damn </3

34. Trem das Onze or "Eleven's Train" - Adoniran Barbosa ADONIRAN BARBOSA, PORRA <3 another super important samba composer~ In this one, the protagonist laments he can't stay with his love a bit longer, bc he has to go home and he can't miss the train that leaves at 11. The way the choir ends with a train-like sound, SO GOOD!

35. O Rei do Gatilho or "Cowboy / Old West King" losely translated - Moreira da Silva THIS ONE I SWEAR. It is a SAMBA THAT MIMICS A COWBOY/WESTERN MOVIE. But like, in a BR way of course. It's a pretty hilarious song with Moreira making different voices, it has sound effects of shots, horses running, applauses and so on, it's so fun!

36. O Vira or loosely translated as "Shapeshifting" - Ney Matogrosso Going back to Ney Matogrosso, I have to mention this one, the title kind of means "Shapeshifting"(as in werewolves)but it goes beyond that,it's hard to explain lol Ney has always been very out & about on genderfuckery and being gay so this song plays with that. a true icon Also THAT OUTFIT! 👌👌👌 [Link to the video so you can see his cunty looks!]

37. Rosa de Hiroshima or "Rose of Hiroshima" - Secos & Molhados / Ney Matogrosso on a more serious note,this is another famous song from Ney/Secos & Molhados (his former band). It's a tragic song where he lists the victms of the bombings in Japan, but in a very poetic manner BR and JP have history, so this is in a way our tribute to that sad event

38. Hinamatsuri / Se Essa Rua Fosse Minha or "Doll's Festival/If This Lane Was Mine" - Iuri Salvagnini speaking of BR/JP ties,this is one I found totally by chance and I'm SO HAPPY I did.This album has medleys of both JP and BR nursery rhymes. Se Essa Rua Fosse Minha is a very famous BR folk song and so ominous in a way, this version really reflects that!

39. Pegasus Fantasy - Edu Falaschi And speaking of which - ANIME TIME! Edu Falaschi, the vocalist from ANGRA that came after Andre Matos, was the iconic voice of Saint Seiya's first opening theme, "Pegasus Fantasy"! Saint Seiya was HUGE here in BR/Latin America in the 90s!

40. Descobridor dos Sete Mares or "Seeker of the Seven Seas" - Tim Maia Tim Maia (RIP) was like, a BR soul singer, his performances were all like this, full of energy with a big band and everything! (There's also this meme where ppl say this was supposed to be a Jojo's opening song, lmao)

41. Mania de Você or "Crazy About You"- Rita Lee and Milton Nascimento LEGENDARY performance of Rita Lee (RIP) and Milton Nascimento! A very sexy song, and their performing energy just brings everything to whole other level. It gets even better when we see Rita teasing Milton (around 5:33) haha <3 so cute!

42. Chuva or "Rain" - Gaby Amaranthos This one is kind of funny, but also kinda moving??? The lyrics are about the cycle of water -literal, textbook information about the cycle of water and how rains are formed At the same time she also sings "Water cycle is an eternal dance" which is such a beautiful way of putting it??

43. Ela Disse Adeus or "She Said Goodbye" - Os Paralamas do Sucesso I remember watching this music video as a kid and I loved it. It stars the incredible BR actress Fernanda Torres & the members of the band, all of them mistreating her character so badly until she just decides to kill them one by one lmao this song/mv still is so good!

44.Segue o Seco or "Draught Goes On" - Marisa Monte I also remember watching this one as a kid and being just fascinated by the video, it's legit a fucking masterpiece, the aesthetics and everything are very dramatic and theatrical. Marisa has such a GORGEOUS voice hnggg Still a favorite to this day [LINK TO THE MV!]

45. Ainda Bem or "Thank Goodness" - Marisa Monte another one by Marisão that I thinnk is so cool, especially the video, I love that's pretty much her just dancing with no one other than MMA wrestler Anderson Silva??? lmao so random but so cool!

46. O Céu é Muito or "The Sky is [Too] Much" - Lenine Lenine's heavy metal phase dkjfhskdjf jokes aside, I freaking love this one bc it's a bit different from his usual stuff (which I also really love). I think it's so cool when singers are so versatile and their voice will fit into any genre!

47. Matheus Embaixador or "Matheus, the Embassador" - Antonio Nóbrega Antonio Nobrega is an actor/folk musician that I really like. He plays rabeca (that folk violin he's holding) in his music as well! This goes into the BR Pirates Playlist thing for sure! hehe

48. Abrição de Portas or "Opening the Doors" - Antônio Nóbrega is a folk song / adaptation from Cantigas de Santa Maria, a compilation of medieval Portuguese poetry/songs! This one goes way back haha. And it really has the Royal Castle vibes to it, it's very Brazilian High Fantasy 👀

49. Bandolins - Oswaldo Montenegro This one is another mix of kind of funny with brilliant - Oswaldo wrote this song based on a friend of his, the song is really heartfelt and the last portion really GOES HARD with the vocals and harmonies holy fuck; but is also has some weird word choices lmao overal, it's a true bop, so dramatic!

50. Admirável Chip Novo or "Brave New Chip" - Pitty more BRmetal! This one was popular in the early 2000's and now I look at the lyrics like DAMN.She didnt have to go this hard-it has the obv ref to Brave New World on the title and she heavily criticizes consumerism and the lack of critical thought thats encouraged by capitalism??

51. Garganta or "Throat" - Ana Carolina Ana Carolina, BI ICON from my teenage years fr fr, I was obsessed. She has a very unique, deep voice, and her guitar skills are pretty insane, this one really shows all of that!! [The version in the playlist is the same as the video, BUT linking the video bc SHE'S SO BADASS!]

52. Eu Comi a Madona or "I Fucked Madona" - Ana Carolina lmao this song is what is says on the tin, Ana came out of the closed in the early 2000s as bi and ever since she has been VERY UNABASHEDLY BI and honestly good for her Iconic song for real kdjfhdkjfh [LINKING THE VIDEO OF HER LIVE PERFORMANCE. BECAUSE OF REASONS.]

53. Auroras Flamboyans - Sofia Freire I don't even know how to explain this one, Sofia has such a dream-like songwriting - she keeps saying things, listing them as if to paint an imagery, it's kinda abstract and so beautiful tbh. She also layers her vocals and plays piano for it, honestly just give it a listen, it's legit so good <3

54." Valsa Pra Lua or Waltz to the Moon" - Vítor Araújo absolutely gorgeous piano instrumental that's soundtrack to the BR movie Elena. I never saw the movie, but this song is soooo good <3

55. Espumas Ao Vento or "[Like] Foam in the Wind" - Elza Soares another version done for the Lisbela e o Prisioneiro movie (srsly that movie has SO MANY BANGERS in the soundtrack it's ridiculous). Elza (RIP) was another huge name in BR music, here you'll hear her iconic voice and singing style!! <3

56. Fixação or "Obsession" - Kid Abelha a song that's super relevant even nowadays lmao she describes the PoV of someone obsessing over a celebrity 24/7, how they keeps making up scenarios in their head featuring their fave. It really contrasts w the way she sings/the arrangement! I really like this version a lot ngl

Ragatanga - Rouge BRAZILIAN Y2K GIRL BAND TIME. Rouge was a girlband formed in a reality show, designed to discover "the next pop stars and form a pop group". Rouge was MASSIVELY successful, at least for a while. This one is their master hit (which is actually a cover from pop Spanish trio Las Ketchup)

58. Lua de Cristal or "Crystal Moon" by Xuxa and the Paquitas PERFECT SEGUE INTO XUXA'S MASTERPIECE lmao Xuxa ("SHOO-SHAH") is a former kid's show host and in the 90s she starred the Cinderella retelling movie Lua de Cristal. Big bop song, the movie not really,its kind of a cult for meme reasons lol the song is very Sailor Moon-coded too ngl

59. A Lenda or "Legend" - Sandy & Junior speaking of kid-oriented 90s pop music, I HAVE to mention Sandy & Junior, a duo of siblings that were super famous back then. A Lenda is definitely their best song, I non ironically still listen to it, cheesy-ness and all, it'ss dramatic AF dkjfhdkfjh

60. Sete Vidas or "Seven Lives" - Marcus Viana & Adriana Mezzadri this one was soundtrack to a historical period BR miniseries in the 2000s. It was composed by musician Marcus Viana (the guy playing violin in the Shaman video from before!) and it's sung by AMAZING Adriana Mezzadri, (actually Peruvian and not BR!) I LOVE this song, it's so good!

61. Sob o Sol or "Under the Sun" - Marcus Viana Marcus Viana also composed the ost for the absofucking popular 2000's telenovela O Clone! The songs were so iconic; the version in the playlist is the og version, but I linked this version in the thread, a version that's in Arabic! Lebanese singer Raya Hilal also sings the PT-BR version on the second half <3

62. Romance de Duas Caveiras or "A Skeleton's Romance" - Alvarenga & Ranchinho this is like. Old BR country/folk music and still hilarious AF lmao They are describing the romance of two skeletons in a cementery,how they go on with their...lives...death...?Until the day one of the skeletons ditches her skeleton bf over another guy(a fresh corpse lol). The video of them performing seems straight out of the Pixar movie Coco in every sense lmao

63. O Bêbado e a Equilibrista or "The Drunkard and the Tightrope Walker" - Elis Regina second to last song has to be Elis again! This one is a notorious protest song, really about hope and just waiting for things to finally be better

64. Evidências or "Evidences" - Chitãozinho & Xororó AAAAAAND LAST SONG IS, IN THE GREAT BR SPIRIT, EVIDÊNCIAS LMAO, it's a widely cherished song, but also kind of a meme, and everything in between. It's a cheesy love song in the classic sertanejo style (BR country genre), sung by Chitãozinho e Xororó, a duo of brothers!

[the-healthy-human-mind]

To Hell and Back

Next: Risen from the Ashes

CWs: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, torture, death, mentioned drugging, burns, explosion, blood, gore, canon typical violence, cursing.

Elaine never was one to brag, her mother had raised her better than that. But damn if she didn’t feel proud seeing her moms stand next to a Commander for a private military contractor. Chief Kate Laswell and Lieutenant Colonel Rachel Salvador-Laswell, the first few of their kind. Commander Phillip Graves walks in with confidence, effortlessly silencing the rowdy Shadows. Elaine straightens her spine, standing elbow to elbow with her fellow Navy SEALs. 

“You’ll be split up into 4 groups, Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, and Delta, with 15 members per group. We have 30 Shadows, 20 Soldiers, and 10 SEALs. You already have been assigned your groups. We leave at 0024 hours. Be there.”

The room erupts in hollers, people hyping each other up for the mission ahead; putting an end to a human trafficking ring in New Zealand. Laney makes eye contact with her Mom, Rachel, who gives her a nod of encouragement. She smiles, nodding back. 

“Ya ready for this, Cat? Gonna show these Shadows how SEALs do things?”

Murray drapes his arm across her shoulders, while Sharpe comes up on her other side, using her head as an armrest.

“Nah, man, more like how brutal a kitty cat is.”

“Alright both of you shut the hell up!”

No one had expected the mission to go tits up. For there to be a land mine placed under their path, for the shadows to turn on them. There was a split second of silence before shit hit the fan. Elaine lets out a yelp when a piece of shrapnel wedges itself in her left leg, the fabric of her camo pants having been burned off during the explosion. She can hear the screams of her fellow SEALs and soldiers, the smell of blood and death thick in the air.

She feels a sharp stab in the side of her neck, turning her head only to be met with the face of a Shadow. She reaches for her gun in the holster attached to her thigh, but the movement tears the burned skin of her back apart. Elaine’s lungs burn from the scream she lets out, head lolling back. She looks in horror as Murray’s lifeless body drops to the ground with a horrific thud. She barely registers hearing mummering as her head begins to spin, black dots covering her vision until there is nothing but darkness.

“Anything?”

Kate looks up from her computer, eyes meeting those of her wife. “No, no contact has been made.”

Rachel doesn’t speak, but Kate doesn’t need to hear the words she’s thinking. 

“If the mission is compromised, we’ll get her out of there as soon as possible. I promise.”

“What if she’s already dead? What do we do then?” 

The silence between the women is cut short when Kate’s radio crackles with life. 

“-lo? Watcher 1, do you cop-”

“This is Watcher 1, how copy.”

“Missions off, it was a trap. Can’t find Delta Team, they were hit by the explosive.”

“Copy that, head to exfil.”

Kate looks grimly at Rachel, who turns and walks out of the room. Elaine was leading Team Delta. She was gone. 

The water was always Elaine’s favorite thing. The water was peaceful, there were no limits to its potential. It was timeless. Her first moments in this world were spent underwater, before she was ripped from her safe haven. Elaine sputters, coughing up the water that had filled her lungs. The man steps back from her, smiling darkly down at her. She rubs harshly against the rope holding her limbs to the wooden chair, looking around at her surroundings, finding only cement walls and a single light bulb above her head. 

“Good to see you’re awake.”

Elaine stares at the man, who she immediately recognizes as the target of this mission. 

“Makarov.”

She doesn’t flinch when the metal door opens, when boots stomp against the concrete, not even when her head is ripped up by her hair. Makarov’s men stare back at her, one of them sneering at her sorry state. Her blond hair was stained red from her blood and matted to her skull, her right eye swollen shut, and god knows what was going on with her burns.  

“Where is your base?”

Elaine barks out a laugh, “you really are stupid aren't you?”

Blood splatters on the concrete when the other Russian backhands her. 

“Location, now.”

“Go. To. Hell.”

She hears the sizzling of her flesh before the pain shoots through her nervous system. And then, nothing.

Water was Elaine’s comfort, she used to feel weightless, floating through the waves, but now, now she was drowning.

[hesbuckcompton-baby]

Better Off - Bernard DeMarco x OFC - Chapter 9

Masterlist | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 |-| Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12

AO3

Warnings: UM. SUSIE AND BENNY BEING INSANE.

Word Count: 3.5k

Tags: @xxluckystrike @latibvles @footprintsinthesxnd @mads-weasley @joyfulbookreviewmarvelspy @justheretoreadthxxs @ginabaker1666

Laughter and music filled the officers' club once again, the huge mural to commemorate Dye's 25th mission looming over the dance floor as couples stepped and skipped in time with the band. "D'you think they've noticed it's nosediving?" Maeve asked, frowning as she stared up at the painting, the plane angled downwards towards the floor. Susie hummed, leaning back against her as the younger girl worked away, twisting her auburn curls into a long plait down the length of her back.

"I doubt it," She squinted slightly at it, a chuckle of amazed amusement bubbling up from her throat.

"Drinks all 'round," Charlotte sang, appearing from the direction of the bar as she carried a tray of pint glasses, nervously eyeing them to prevent spillages as she set them down on the table, taking a seat. She paused to take a sip of her beer, eyes narrowing as she noticed the mural. "... Hey, has anyone noticed that the plane's-"

"Yeah, we know," The other two answered simultaneously, laughing at Charlotte's disconcerted expression.

"You two have been spending too much time together."

Across the room, Benny and his friends gathered around another table, Meatball pawing at his lap as he reached for a drink, smiling at something Crank had said. He could barely see Susie from here, the ever-moving crowds occasionally parting just long enough to catch a glimpse of her, but his gaze had wandered in her direction just often enough for the others to begin to take notice. Gale stared at him sideways for a moment, a faint smirk curling his lip.

"So, Benny," He began, seizing DeMarco's attention as he ripped his gaze away from the women's table. "... How long's it gonna take for you to introduce the rest of us to your girl?"

An awkward burst of laughter escaped him, shaking his head as he tossed a snack to Meatball. "Oh, Susie's not my girl."

Bucky practically guffawed. "Oh, yeah, you just hang around with her every day for no goddamn reason. Right. I was there when she knocked that Marshal on his ass - hell, I came to pick you two up after that impromptu road trip. I'm not blind, Benny."

"She's not my girl," He pressed.

"She sure sounds like your girl," Crank shrugged.

"She's-" DeMarco sighed, cutting himself off as he realised he wasn't going to win this battle. The crowd shifted again, and Susie came into view, except this time it seemed half the table was looking at her. Maeve had finished the plait, immediately undoing it once the activity was over, and Susie reached up to shake the creases out of her hair, curls cascading anew over her shoulders. She was talking across the table to Charlotte, clearly concentrating greatly on whatever she was saying - so much so that she hadn't noticed the beer foam lining the corner of her mouth from her last sip. One of her friends pointed it out, and she wiped it away with the pad of her thumb, the movement slow and deliberate in a way that made Benny squirm slightly.

"You gonna go ask your girl-who's-not-your-girl for a dance?" Gale prompted, nudging at his arm with his elbow.

"... Yeah," He nodded in defeat, standing up from his seat, the sudden movement startling Meatball, who redirected his attention towards Cleven as soon as DeMarco was gone.

His footsteps seemed to echo louder than usual as he approached Susie's table, catching the attention of Maeve and Charlotte before the object of his regard even turned her head. Fingers interlaced, cradling her chin, she trailed off mid-sentence, a smile appearing as she looked up at him. "Hey."

"D'you wanna dance?"

Time had trained him to expect resistance - some whining plea about how much she hated dancing, how much she hated that he always asked. He'd expected to have to coax her out like he usually did. And yet, the moment the question left his mouth, she was brushing off her skirt, rising to her feet. "Yep." DeMarco blinked, his mind reeling to comprehend the words before he began to grin, taking her hand.

"Well, that doesn't usually happen," He teased, the pair stepping seamlessly into the rhythm of the music the moment they reached the dancefloor.

"What doesn't?"

"Seriously? No 'Oh you know I hate dancing, you asshole'?"

Susie snorted. "I don't sound like that!"

"Yes, dear, you absolutely do," Benny nodded firmly, eliciting one of her smiles, the ones that felt like an award no matter how frequent they were starting to become.

That was a change he welcomed, practically begged for. When he'd first met Susie, she'd offered nothing but a hard stare and an inquisitive brow, a look so infuriating that he'd spent weeks unsure if he wanted to strangle her or kiss her, a confusing amalgamation that he could never quite put into words. But now those smiles came more freely, a common greeting whenever he approached - now she liked to see him, or at least it was easier to believe that she did. Was it foolish to think he'd done it? That he'd broken her shell, that he'd wormed his way in? It didn't seem so, not anymore. Not when she was standing here dancing with him, his arm roped around her back, not just resting on her hip. They used to stand so far apart, braced against one another like chaperoned teenagers at a prom. But now her front pressed against his, their faces only inches apart as they spoke, disguising the closeness as a bid at privacy, voices low and inaudible to anyone but each other.

Was it foolish to think she could love him too?

The question had begun to strike him often, with every grin and laugh and uttered joke - when had he fallen in love with Susie Lamb? Had it been at Charlotte's wedding, or the day he'd seen her in that wedding dress - had it been the night he'd held her in his arms as she wept, or the moment she'd slipped in the mud and he'd caught her, her hair getting twisted and caught in the button of his shirt? Perhaps it had been that very first day, when he'd marched down to the ATS depot, tired and irritated, and she'd managed to piss him off even further, all whilst sporting that goddamn look. Sure, he hadn't even liked her at the time, but something had clicked inside him, something he'd never since managed to turn off.

"Oi," Her voice was suddenly urging, and he snapped back to the present, entirely unaware that he'd managed to zone out. "Jesus, I thought I was the one with the listening problem."

"Sorry," Benny shook his head slightly, as if the movement could purge the distraction from his mind. It was warm in here, the heat producing a pink tint in her cheeks, and for a moment he swore his breath hitched. "Just tired."

"Yeah, don't worry about it," Susie's brow furrowed. "D'you wanna go?"

He sucked in a long sigh, getting the distinct feeling that Gale and Egan were still watching him from somewhere. He nodded. "Yeah, ok."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Her hands were in her pockets as they wandered back towards the huts, their steps out of synch so that they bumped into each other's shoulders whenever they swayed in opposing directions. In the blue, moonlit darkness her hair looked brown and dull, purged of the red halo it carried whenever the sun struck it, as if her very head had burst into flames. When you spend too much time with another person, you begin to think you've run out of things to notice about them - but there's always something else. There was a mole on the side of Susie's nose, so faint it was scarcely visible in the dim light - but he saw it, adding it to the mental image of her he found himself conjuring whenever she wasn't around.

She took a deep breath. "Y'know... I think you're my best friend. Is that weird?"

Benny turned to look at her, beaming. "No, I don't think so."

"Hm. I dunno, thought it seemed childish."

"To... care about people?"

Susie considered this. "... I s'pose."

He shrugged, hands in his pockets as he reached out to nudge her with his elbow. She glanced towards him, brow raised in question. "What?" She asked, her tone gentle and without accusation. DeMarco took a breath, the air catching in his throat as their eyes met.

"Nothin'."

Shrugging it off, Susie continued alongside him in silence, gaze wandering down to her feet, the heels of her dress shoes clacking ever so slightly against the concrete. Had she wanted him to say something? The thought almost caught her off guard. She couldn't help but think back to that morning after the bombing, when she called after him, never quite certain of what she'd been trying to say. Her mind had bubbled with questions then, and their answers had never become clearer.

"Alright. Well, I'm gonna ask you something," She declared.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," Looking back up, she found he was already staring at her. "Why'd you stay? That night after the bombs, when I was holed up in the inn above the pub. I didn't even know you were there - but you stayed anyway - why?"

He let out a heavy sigh, tilting his head up to stare at the stars, the rare, clear night leaving them in clear view. "... I didn't want you to be alone. I had this image in my head of you waking up from some nightmare and not knowing where you were, and I-... I wouldn't have slept a wink if I'd left you up there."

Susie took this in silently, nodding slightly, the pair of them never turning to meet the other's eye. Perhaps, for anyone else, it would've seemed the obvious reason. But not for her. No one stayed for her - not specifically her - not ever. She had nothing to offer, nothing to keep people tethered and coming back. But he was tethered nonetheless, forging his own string when she couldn't cast one out. Maybe she adored him. Maybe she was frightened. Maybe she wanted him to get lost and stop her from thinking about all of those terrifying possibilities, of what it could mean if she truly did care for him.

Except no, not that last part.

She snorted suddenly, and DeMarco raised a confused brow as he turned to stare at her, the moment's quiet affection subsided. "Did, uh... Did you notice the mural? With the plane doing a nosedive?"

His eyes narrowed to a squint. "... What?"

"Inside, on the back wall of the-"

"No, no - I know what you're talking about - I'm just amazed that that's your big response to this whole thing."

Susie frowned slightly. "What whole thing?"

Benny threw up his hands and turned to face her, walking sideways like an agitated crab. "I just said something sweet about a nice thing that I did for you!"

"D'you want a fucking sticker?! Thank you!"

"You're welcome!"

"Jesus!" She huffed, unable to quite stop herself from laughing, the creases in the corners of her eyes burrowing deeper as she screwed up her face in amusement. "... You're walking like an idiot."

"Ugh!" DeMarco groaned, lunging for her before he'd even had the chance to think twice about it, wrapping his arms around her in a playful tackle. Her shoulder pressed sideways against his chest, her cheek butting against his nose as he held her against him, a cackle of laughter escaped her throat, head tipped back. She still smelled like the inside of her truck - like aged leather and petrol and cigarettes - a smell so ordinary and yet so utterly Susie. He wasn't sure they'd ever laughed together like this - real, belly laughs, without a hint of embarrassment, spinning slightly on their heels as they swayed side to side.

Susie's laughter faded after a moment into a weak chuckle, turning her head to the side to meet his eye. She craned her neck backwards to put space between them - so close were their faces that, if she hadn't, their lips would've practically been touching already. The ghost of her amusement was still etched in her smile, letting out a faint, wary titter, less unnerved by their closeness and more by how natural it felt to be this way. The discomfort - the tension - was gone, but it hadn't left a hole in its wake, it had simply dissipated, leaving room for... this.

Her head bowed slightly, hoping to obscure his view of the flush that discoloured her face, undoubtedly obvious even in the evening darkness. She felt his nose nudge against her temple, and some sudden wave of panic seemed to strike, a falsely humourous snort escaping her as she planted a palm flat against his face, prying herself from his grip.

The moment his arms weren't around her, she wanted them back.

"Alright, alright, c'mon," DeMarco nodded, and she wasn't sure if she'd imagined the hint of disappointment in his tone. "Gotta getcha back in one piece, or your girls will be after me."

Susie hummed in agreement, their arms linking at the elbow like an old married couple as they wandered back in the direction of the huts. "And... what's out here that'd prevent me from making it back in one piece? I'm not feeling threatened."

They managed to both glance upward at the same time, the full moon hanging above them like a polished china plate.

Benny shrugged. "Werewolves."

"Oh, right, I forgot about those."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Rainfall hammered against the windshield as DeMarco pulled into land, the sudden storm beckoning early darkness, obscuring much of the runway from view as the landing gear touched down and he sent up a silent, thankful prayer to whichever God happened to be watching. Weather this terrible was rare, even here, and all but the bare essentials of the ground crew seemed to have fled, seeking warmth and shelter somewhere with a roof. He couldn't blame them. And it didn't surprise him when Susie wasn't there to welcome him back - he probably wouldn't have come either, not in this.

The trucks churned up a freezing spray as they carried the returning flight crews towards the interrogation hut, throwing up every puddle they ploughed through, headlights blaring and windshield wipers working relentlessly just to keep the road ahead in view. Fat droplets pelted him from above, soaking his hair until it fell completely flat, ringlets plastered against his forehead, cold water trickling down the back of his collar. Benny always returned from missions drenched in stressed sweat, and smelling like it too - at least this way he wouldn't need a shower.

It had been deafening inside the interrogation hut, the thin metal roof assaulted with everything nature could throw at it, never relenting for even a second. He was convinced he had been inside for an age, but the storm remained unchanged by the time he left, the prospect of walking back to his bunk a grim one. Expression twisted in a wretched scowl, DeMarco began to trudge, muttering under his breath with each step, the ceaseless deluge drenching him to the bone, socks squelching slightly in his boots.

Even the light of the streetlamps did not go uninterrupted, raindrops slicing through the golden beams like bullets. In that moment, there was nothing he wanted more than to be inside, burrowed beneath layers of blankets and swathed in fresh, dry clothes, feeling the icy damp ooze its way out of his body.

But then... she was there.

Standing slightly hunched outside the door to Benny's hut, passing her wait impatiently from foot to foot, Susie clutched her coat as tightly to her body as she could, the collar upturned against her chin, an ATS clipboard held up over her head as a makeshift shield. She grimaced fiercely, brow furrowed in a sort of miserable rage, face turned down towards the ground as she paced in tight circles, occasionally bouncing on the balls of her feet in a vague attempt at generating some warmth. He'd been so taken aback by her being there that he'd just stopped - letting the rain continue to attack him, letting his suffering prolong itself, unable to move from that spot as he stared at her.

She had waited. Even as the heavens seemed to unload themself upon them, she had come to see him - to make sure he'd made it back, to make sure he was alright. Something swelled in his chest, as if his heart had expanded and begun to crush his lungs, ripping his breath away from him. He'd never seen her in that coat before, and he wasn't sure where she'd gotten it - the thing was clearly too big, the sleeves rolled at the wrists, the shape of it dwarfing her completely. But wherever she'd found it, she'd sought it out with the expressed intention of coming here, of waiting in the rain for his return.

Things seemed to fall into place then. All those months at her side, all those hours they'd spent together, chipping away at one another in an uneven exchange, always giving more than he received. But it didn't matter. It didn't matter how long it had taken Susie to open herself up to this - to let him care about her - it only mattered that she did. Standing here, now, was proof of it. Proof that not a second of that time had been a waste, not a moment had been unimportant.

"Susie," He called, voice raised over the hammering rainfall as he finally found himself able to move again, putting one desperate foot in front of the other, over and over until he reached her.

"Hey," Susie breathed, a relieved smile flickering across her expression. "How'd it go - you ok?"

"Yeah, yeah, all good," Benny nodded, rubbing his wet hands against her wet shoulders, as if he could somehow dry her off and warm her up, the mission brushed away as if it were the least important thing in the world. Which, at that moment, it was.

"... How long you been out here, Suze?"

Her eyes narrowed in thought. "Uh. I dunno, 'bout half an hour? Came up when I heard the planes were back."

DeMarco couldn't restrain his grin, letting it tug at his cheeks, raindrops running along the creases in his skin. He hadn't fully realised how close they were standing until now, heads bowed towards one another. Susie held her clipboard between them, a startlingly ineffective attempt at shelter, her auburn curls soaked a dark brown, the tip of her nose flushed red in the cold. He'd never seen anyone look so perfectly, utterly, wonderfully beautiful as she did right now. He tried to suck in a deep breath, but it caught in his throat, croaking just quietly enough that she couldn't hear it over the storm.

"... Susie?"

She widened her eyes slightly, blinking as droplets landed on her eyelashes. "Yeah?"

"... Can I kiss you?"

Her expression shifted, morphing into something unfamiliar and suddenly indecipherable. All at once he thought he might be sick, so wracked with fear at the possibility that he might just have dashed it all - ruined everything in one fell swoop, undid every inch of progress they had made these last few months. Why couldn't he have just kept his goddamn mouth shut?

But then the clipboard hit the ground with a clatter, and all at once her arms were flung around the back of his neck, her lips crashing against his with such force that any breath he still had was promptly knocked from him, rainwater sliding along his tongue as he momentarily parted his lips, lifting his hands to cradle her jaw.

They could have been standing there like that for seconds or hours, he couldn't possibly tell - all he knew was that this was the only place he wanted to be, holding Susie in his arms, feeling her lips pressed against his, her heart beating against his chest. After what could have been an eternity, she pulled away, fighting to catch her breath, gaze locked with his, a faint smile tugging at her lip. She could've asked him anything right now, and he would've said yes.

Except she didn't say anything, just let out the faintest breath of a laugh, eyes wide - deep brown pools he wanted nothing more than to drown in. DeMarco let out a single breath, the words leaving him just as easily, just as softly, as the air.

"I'm in love with you."

He didn't need her to say it back. Not right now. If she had, she wouldn't have been Susie.

She smiled.

[ladykailitha]

If I Rescue You, Will You Rescue Me, Too Part 11

It will be slower going from here on in as this the last completed chapter I have and the next one only has a couple hundred words.

But we are now at the concert.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

*

Dinner was lovely and the talk was easy. They finished and again Steve went to pay only to be told that all meals and drinks were to be put on Ozzy Osbourne’s tab and to not worry about it.

Steve and Eddie shared shocked glances but told the waiter to pass on their gratitude to Ozzy and the waiter nodded.

They went back up to their room and got ready to go. Eddie looked fantastic in his ripped black jeans, band shirt with the sleeves cut off and his gleaming white sneaks.

Steve tapped his lip thoughtfully. “It’s missing something.”

Eddie shrugged. “Well unless you happen to have my battle vest hidden around here somewhere, it’s going to have to do.”

Steve grinned. “Well, I do. But you’re not getting it back. It’s mine now.”

Eddie’s eyes widened in shock. “You have it?”

Steve nodded and pulled it out to show him. Eddie ran his fingers on the soft denim.

“Dustin’s mom helped me get it clean.”

Eddie let out a shuddered breath. “I’m so glad it’s safe. But you’re right, baby. I gave it to you. It’s yours.”

He handed it back to Steve, who set it on the bed. He went to his luggage and pulled out a single white package with a black ribbon. He handed it to Eddie.

“I couldn’t let you go to the most metal concert of the decade without a battle vest,” Steve said with a smile, “now could I?”

Eddie looked down at the box in awe. He looked up at Steve, tears starting to form on his long black lashes.

“Go on, then,” Steve murmured.

Eddie nodded and pulled on the ribbon, causing it to come undone. He lifted the lid and gasped. Instead of the light blue denim of the vest he had made, this one was black acid washed, giving the seams an almost yellow look to them. The front was decorated with the badges and pins of his favorite bands.

“Steve...” he croaked. “I can’t...”

Steve smiled. “The best part is on the back.”

Eddie turned it around and the most pitiful noise escaped him. The tears started running down his face like a storm.

Steve hurried to his side. “Is it okay? I mean...Jeff said you would love it. I didn’t fuck up did I?”

Eddie shook his head. “Is he the one that gave you the shirt to cut up?”

Steve nodded. “He said it was one of the test shirts that the front got messed up on and could be happily destroyed to use for this.”

Eddie placed the vest on his lap and ran his fingers over the name “Corroded Coffin.” He was going to be going to the biggest metal concert with his band’s name on his back. He lunged at Steve giving him the biggest hug.

“I don’t think you can top this, man,” Eddie said into Steve’s shoulder.

Steve pulled Eddie onto his lap and held him tightly. “Maybe not, but there is so much more coming, sunshine. You aren’t going to have much of a mind left by the time the night is over.”

Eddie nodded and kissed him gently. “I love you, babe.”

Steve expression turned soft. “I love you, too. So much. We haven’t known each other for very long but I still feel it. You mean the world to me and I don’t care if people think we’re going too fast. Both of us know that life is too short not to go for what we want. And I what I want more than anything or anyone is you.”

Eddie kissed him again. “I’m going to have get famous so I can spend the rest of my life making up for tonight.”

Steve laughed. “Just keep being the wonderful, charming, outrageous you and you’ll have more than made up for it.”

“You’re going to make me cry again, asshole,” Eddie growled.

Steve buried his nose into Eddie’s neck. “As long as they’re tears of joy, I’m okay with that.”

“You are such a romantic,” Eddie muttered.

Steve kissed Eddie’s neck, pressing gently against the gauze. “And I have set my sights on you.”

Eddie chuckled. “Getting the full Harrington charm experience speed run, clearly.”

Steve chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’m not using it all up tonight, you’ll still continue to get it for as long as you’ll have me.”

Eddie sighed happily. “Okay.”

Steve looked up at the clock and gave Eddie a squeeze. “It’s almost time to go, sunshine.”

Eddie got up off Steve’s lap and grabbed the vest to put it on. Steve put on the other vest and Eddie looked him up and down.

“Yeah, okay,” he teased. “You’ll do.”

“Asshole,” Steve said, gently pushing Eddie’s shoulder.

Eddie grinned and leaned in. “But you love it.”

Steve laughed. “You bet your pretty face I do.”

Eddie blushed dark and red, turning away. “You can’t mean that.”

“Of course I do, Eds,” Steve murmured, cupping Eddie’s cheek. “Do you think me any less attractive because of the scars on my neck?”

Eddie shook his head. “It looks like a tattoo of barbed wire or something.”

Steve grinned. “That’s actually not a bad idea.” Eddie’s eyebrows shot up. “But anyway that’s not the point. The point is that you are still the hottest person I know.”

“How are you real?” Eddie asked.

Steve gave him a peck on the cheek. “I’m a reformed mean girl, love. Believe me when I say that you’ll get to see the not fun parts of me, too.”

Eddie giggled.

“Let’s go get you to the concert of your dreams, babe.”

*

They arrived the concert hall at the appointed time and got to the box office. The teller slid over the lanyards and two small packets.

“You’ll be going through those doors there,” the teller said, pointing behind them. “There will be someone waiting for you. Enjoy the concert!”

Eddie eyed Steve warily. “Those aren’t the doors to the seats, Steven. Those are the doors to the backstage.”

Steve batted his eyelashes up at him innocently, stepping away from the counter. “Are they?”

The teller laughed.

“Sweetheart...” Eddie said, trailing after him. “Please tell me we do NOT have backstage passes.”

Steve gave his shoulder a squeeze and looked him dead in the eye. “But then I would be lying.”

Eddie swayed where he stood and Steve brought up his other arm to catch him. “Easy there. Do you need to sit?”

Eddie shook his head. “Nope. No, I’m good. Still going to kill you though.”

Steve laughed and leaned in close. “Just you wait, it gets better.”

Eddie let out a low whine but allowed Steve to lead him to the backstage area.

The man waiting for them was the same one from last night, most likely because Eddie and Steve would recognize him as staff. They put the lanyards over their heads as they followed him to the green room.

There waiting for them were all four members of Metallica and Ozzy Osbourne.

They all cheered when they entered the room.

“Holy fuck, Kirk!” Cliff hissed when Eddie came from around Steve. “He looks just like you! Did your mom fuck around or something?”

Kirk laughed. “Come on, man, not every long, long, dark-haired metalhead is related. That’s country music you’re thinking of!”

Eddie blushed.

“You’re embarrassing him,” Lars said pushing his bandmates. “Come on in, tell us about yourself!”

Eddie shuffled in and with just a gentle nudge from Steve was launching into his favorite songs, their styles. He talked about writing his own music.

Then far too soon the sound guy popped his head in. “Fifteen minutes Mr Osbourne.”

Ozzy nodded and walked out. Steve and Eddie got up to follow him. They were shown where to stand so that the audience didn’t see him.

Steve handed Eddie one of the packets of earplugs. “The guy I spoke to about the passes recommended them.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow but dutifully put them in. Steve followed suit.

And then Ozzy started his set and suddenly Eddie got it. He had been to concerts before. Had even been lucky to be close to the stage for a couple of them. But this? This was a whole other level of loud. He gave Steve a thumbs up.

Steve smiled back.

When the set ended Ozzy talked about giving back to the community and how learning that one the towns near here had come to great catastrophe and how they were donating money to help rebuild the town.

The crowd cheered.

And then Metallica came on. And they played through half of their set before they stopped.

“We wanted to bring out a special guest tonight,” James said into the microphone. “You see, we wanted to something special for the town of Hawkins. More than just give money to help them rebuild. But we did that, too. And then the perfect opportunity landed in our laps. This nice young man reached out to us regarding his friend.”

Eddie’s jaw dropped.

“This man told us about a big fan of ours who had been wanting to see the concert but before he could scrape up enough money to do, was hurt in a horrible accident that took the lives of several people in town. We learned that the town tried to blame this friend because he was one of us. Because he was different. Because he was metal. And what do we say to that?”

The crowd roared, “Fuck that!”

“Louder,” James said.

“Fuck that!”

“That’s right,” he continued. “So what do you say about giving him a round of applause?”

The crowd started cheering and stomping and screaming. Steve gently pushed Eddie out on stage. He stumbled a little bit and slid into that comfortable skin of being in front of an audience. Granted he’d never been in front of one so large or so captivated. But this was something he lived for.

“This, my friends is Eddie Munson, metalhead and guitar player extraordinaire,” James said. The crowd cheered again. He turned to Eddie, “Now a little bird told me you can play the entirety of ‘Master of Puppets’, is that right?”

“I’d say I was decent at it, sure,” Eddie said into the mic.

James looked at the crowd as if to say, ‘can you believe the modesty of this guy?’ “A song that came out a three weeks ago.”

Eddie blushed. “It’s a masterful song.”

“Let’s see what you’ve got,” James said tilting his head up in a challenge.

Then Eddie felt a guitar being pressed into hand. He turned to see Kirk wink at him. Kirk then pulled up a stool.

“Now, since we know you’ve just gotten out of the hospital,” he said into his microphone, “so we aren’t going to make you stand.”

Eddie looked down at the guitar in his hand. It looked almost exactly like his sweetheart. It was an NJ Warlock with the cackle red paint job. It was beautiful.

He looked over at Steve. The other man was giving him to thumbs up.

Holy shit.

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[hollyhomburg]

what is your review about the lesserafim workout

ooooh! i will totally give my review!

a bit of a disclaimer- i have an above average stamina and i've walked 3 miles every day for the last year so my opinion is of someone who already worked out everyday/had experience working out. your experience may be different! there is also a brief mention of disordered eating in this, just a disclaimer!!

My review of the lesserafim workout is that it has a high barrier for entry and requires more than just the workout to loose weight or gain muscle. alot of people claim you'll see results in one week and that is utter bullshit, i'd say it took at least 4 weeks for me to see/feel results- which is pretty good for a work out. if you're ever in online spaces and someone claims to have changed their body in one week- please realize that they are likely either 1. starving themselves while doing the work out or 2. taking steroids. Overnight results do not happen. thats just not how bodies work.

the lesseraphim work out is as follows:

100 jumping jacks (4 sets of 25)

100 burpees ( 10 sets of 10)

20 jump squats (2 sets of 10)

plank crawl - 3min (3 sets of one min)

20 plank twist/russian twist (20 each side)

plank up/down- 100 (5 sets of 20)

crunches - 100 (4 sets of 25)

Some exercises in it (like the plank crawls + burpees) have a really high stamina barrier that is really hard to overcome- it took probably a month for me to feel not-daunted by the prospect of doing them and at first i split them into 10 burpee sets. i would not recommend this work out to someone who isn't used to working out/already fairly athletic/used to exerting yourself- because i think it would be a really easy way to burn yourself out.

There are also some of the exercises that an inexperienced person would probably injure themselves doing- like the plank up/downs. if you have wrist issues whatsoever i would skip this step- and i actually ended up abandoning it after the first months because my wrists hurt too bad. Joint health >>>> results the only other exercise i ended up switching out was the plank crawls, now i just do planks, but you do you. i just don't like plank crawls, i need to strike a balance of enjoying working out and it taxing me and plank crawls where just too much of a mental energy sap for me to keep going with them. i did add 50 push ups to this work out- to make up the difference.

i've done the lesseraphim work out for about 3 months now 4-5 times a week and during that time i did gain 5lbs of muscle/chub- jurys up on which it was i'm leaning towards muscle because i have a lot more definition in my shoulders in particular from the plank crawls- like it definitely made me ripped in my upper body in a way that i did not anticipate.

One thing i did notice is that my overall appetite did increase on this work out, and i kinda started a bulk/cut cycle in the middle of it- so of course because i was eating more protein i gained more muscle. i just started my cut cycle last week and i'm down 2lbs already so! its hard to say what my end results will be! it definitely increased my metabolic baseline however- because i was feeling the drive to eat so much more. so if you are looking to increase your maintenance calories this would definitely help. My current cut schedule is at like 1,300 calories a day with 60g protein so- that is a bit extream depending on what you consider.

i will say i can certainly see more definition im my ab area and my shoulders above all else- but what i don't like is that this work out stresses your calfs with all the burpees and tbh- my calf circumference has increased a whole inch in the last year so- that is definitely not a muscle i am trying to grow. be mindful to streach before and after you do this work out!

some of the exercises like the crunches and jumping jacks and jump squats felt a little bit easy compared to the burpees and plan crawls and i either ended up increasing the amount of them or changing them up a bit because i didn't find them challenging. but it's all up to what you want to do.

my lesseraphim inspired work out now:

100 burpees (done in a 10 minute period, no longer in set just with 30 second breaks as needed)

100 crunches (4 sets x 25, sometimes 2 x 50)

40 jump squats (4 sets x 10 usually done alternating with the crunches since they are similar skill level)

planks (3 minutes total, 1 minute sets)

Plank twists (3 sets x 40, 20 each side)

crunches (2 sets of 50)

push ups (5 sets of 10)

finish up with a 3 mile walk at 10 incline for ~ 1hr.

Sorry to go on a tangent but here you go! i do this work out 5-6 times a week (i walk everyday but i don't always have time to do this work out) the longest it's ever taken me is an hour and 20 minutes, the shortest is just over 30!

if you have experience with this work out i'd love to hear your thoughts on it too!