#i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more

[thewertsearch]

Anonymous asked: just read through your entire liveblog and wow. what a place to catch up. do you have any predictions about what the postscratch versions of the guardians will be? what about the guardian versions of the kids?

So.

Mom Lalonde, Grandpa Harley, Nanna Egbert, and Bro Strider, reborn as the story's protagonists, and thrust into a Playerdom I never expected them to bear. The consequences of this reveal are likely to kick in on the very next page - and since that's a page I'm clicking on tonight, this is my last chance for some blind speculation.

There are an absolute mountain of angles I could potentially cover here, and it's impossible to address all the implications of this twist, so I'm just going to touch on a few key questions that Act 6 will need to answer sooner rather than later.

Without further ado, let's dive into our first question.

Who, exactly, is raising these kids?

The simplest solution, of course, would be a one-to-one exchange between each Player and their Guardian. That certainly seems to be the case for Jade and Grandpa, who have been directly swapped. This would imply that Rose raised Mom, Dave raised Bro, and John might have raised Nanna. (More on that later.)

Still, that's not the only possibility. There's no reason why Dave couldn't raise the adolescent Mom instead, for example, with Rose adopting the younger Bro in his stead. That particular configuration has a lot of character potential, actually, because Bro Lalonde would undoubtedly be an unholy terror, and Mom Strider might just be one of the coolest characters I've ever conceived of.

This aesthetic, with those shades? Come on.

...all that said, though, I'm fairly sure we are just getting a one-to-one swap. That's how it appears to have worked for the trolls, and the one post-Scratch Player with a confirmed Guardian already matches this pattern.

Plus, swapping the kids with their own parents is just so interesting, on a character level, as it'd add a whole new dimension of analysis to the fucked-up relationships between Bro & Dave, Mom & Rose, and Grandpa & Jade.

Seeing how they all treat each other, now that the roles have been reversed, would be incredibly illuminating, and might shed some light on the thought processes of the pre-Scratched Guardians, as they were raising their own respective charges.

Anyway - now that we've got that out of the way, let's talk about each individual family.

The Egberts

Astute readers will notice that I only mentioned the Guardian-Player parallels for three of our Players above - and that's because when it comes to the fourth, there's a slight complication.

Namely, Dad Egbert no longer exists.

This means that Nanna's home life can't parallel John's, because the man who raised John was never even born. It's possible, then, that John will simply raise Nanna himself, as her grandfather.

Honestly, that's the scenario I'm hoping for, here. Out of our four original Players, I think that John would be the best parent by far - he's sweet, resilient, and has a natural talent for nurturing the positive qualities of the people he loves. If a baby lands in his backyard, he's going to rise to the challenge, octogenarianism be damned.

...now, here's where I'd speculate a little about Nanna's personality, but she's the one post-Scratch Player I can't really get a bead on. We only ever interacted with her Spritesona, whose personality was obviously corrupted by the presence of the jester doll.

As a result, I don't really have a clue what Nanna will be like. The only thing I'm sure about, if John's the one raising her, is that she'll be loved.

The Striders

First of all, I have faith in Dave.

I think he's more or less guaranteed to be a better Guardian than his brother ever was. Granted, I don't think Dave would be particularly paternal, but I also think he'll be able to refrain from beating Bro's ass with a puppet, which is progress.

I think Dave would be a laissez-faire type of guardian, who allows the younger Bro a lot more agency and autonomy than other kids his age, but also struggles to be the adult in the room when his kid needs guidance. He's not going to be as traumatized as his younger self, but I bet it's still borderline impossible to have a serious conversation with him. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Kid Bro turned out to be the more mature of the pair.

In a nutshell, Dave was born to be a cool uncle, but was forced unwittingly into a parental role instead. He's doing his best.

Quite frankly, I'm very worried about Kid Bro.

If we assume that every Paradox Clone keeps the same Veil item as last time - and there's no reason why they wouldn't - then Bro will be coming down with Lil' Cal, the cursed puppet created by Gamzee's Chucklevoodoos.

I'm still convinced that long-term exposure to this abomination was the main reason Bro was so batshit insane, and while the younger Bro won't have been around it for quite as long, he'll still have thirteen years of an evil Juggalo's Rage miasma being beamed into his brain.

I think Kid Bro will be a little batshit, but not completely batshit. We'll see a child with the potential to become the deranged ventriloquist who tormented Dave, but one who can still be saved, if we can just get that hell puppet away from him.

Separated from Cal, I still think Bro will be a memelord, and I'm sure not all his interests came from the puppet. I think this guy was always destined to be a pretty bizarre dude - but with luck, this iteration of him will be a little more pleasant to be around.

The Lalondes

Rose... could go either way, honestly.

Just like Dave, I don't think she's the type who'd willingly choose to be a parent. Rose doesn't want a baby, she wants a library full of cursed tomes, a coven of witches to scheme with, and to live in an enormous gothic castle with her wife, Kanaya Maryam. Her ideal lifestyle couldn't handle a kid, and I think she's self-aware enough to know that, and adopt a hundred mutant kittens instead.

That said... if she had to raise a daughter, I think she'd try her best to do right by the girl. I think some part of her would absolutely resent the fact that she's a background character in someone else's life - especially if, like the Sufferer, she remembers being a Player - but she'd do everything she could to keep that resentment to herself.

Rose would be an alright mother. A little cold, maybe, and more than a little distant, but she'd still love her Roxy.

As for Roxy, I can only assume she's a gigantic fucking badass. Even among the Guardians, her barehanded combat feats were always astounding, and I think she and Kid Bro will be the primary combatants of their session.

I also think she'll be one of the most analytical, scientifically-minded Players we've ever seen. Her adult self was experimenting with Ectobiology even outside of Sburb, which suggests to me an intense curiosity about how all this shit works, which isn't present in most of our other heroes. Like Rose, she'll be a researcher, and maybe even a Seer - but while Rose searched for the truth via magic and mysticism, Roxy's research will be entirely scientific.

Honestly, the most exciting thing about finally meeting Roxy is the milestone it'll represent. I'll finally, finally have encountered every character I knew about prior to starting the comic.

The Harleys

Grandma Jade was still the Witch of Space, and was clearly aware of that fact.

This tells us that:

John, Rose and Dave also retained their Titles, even if they don't know it.

Grandma Jade was probably aware of Sburb and its secrets, especially if she was living near the Frog Temple.

Grandma Jade was the Witch of Space. She's gone.

...and I have a theory about what happened to her.

I think that when Grandpa was a baby, Jade travelled to Anachronism Island, just like her predecessor did - but this time around, it wasn't Bec who greeted her at the Temple.

No, I think Jade had a fatal encounter with the new First Guardian of Earth - a corrupted First Guardian, spliced with the same HONK code that created Scratch. Kid Grandpa clearly survived whatever happened next, and I think it's horribly plausible that the new First Guardian is a pseudo-Guardian to him, the same way Becquerel was to Jade.

In other words, this kid might be completely compromised, manipulated by English's servant since infancy. Let's not forget that he's the one who suggested making the bunny to Jade, which is the reason Jack was able to ascend in the first place...

...but someone suggested it to him, first.

Anyway, those are my high-level thoughts about the new timeline's key players. We'll be starting Act 6 in an hour or so, and I've got a feeling that we're about to see Nanna standing in a very familiar room.

After all, it just so happens that today...

[rebelliousstories]

Spencer Reid SFW Alphabet

Relationship: Spencer Reid x Reader

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Request: No by Anon

Warnings: Fluff, Mentions of Cases, Mentions of Alcohol, Brief Angst

Word Count: 3,184

Main Masterlist: Here

Criminal Minds Masterlist: Here

Consider Donating: Here

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

This is really going to depend on how two things: how long you are into your relationship and what season we’re talking about.

Early seasons plus early in the relationship means that he’s going to be a bit more reserved in his affections. Very rarely will he do more than stand near you if you’re in public together. However, early seasons and later in the relationship will grant you hand holding in public, maybe a peck on your cheek if you are lucky.

Now later seasons, I’m talking no earlier than season eight, he’s more alright with PDA. He’ll definitely insist on holding hands, and he absolutely will get upset when you don’t for whatever reason. Spencer is more prone to kissing in public, especially if he’s had a few drinks with the team.

In private though, no matter the season, once he’s comfortable with you, he’s holding you. Reid loves to hold you in his arms, tucked up against him so that he can feel your body heat. Away from prying eyes is when he is less reserved about his affections. He also really loves laying in your arms, so long as you pick a good book to read to him while he lays his head on your chest.

B = Best Friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Reid is a goofy Gubler. We all see how he is with the team, and you can definitely expect more of that. He adores having someone that he can turn to for whatever it is. Whether that is someone to cry with, laugh with, or just spend time in silence with. Also, having someone to geek out with is always appreciated.

I could see you meeting at either a bookstore or comic convention, that is if you’re not in the FBI already. No matter if it’s a bookstore or comic convention, I can definitely see you both reaching for the same thing, and he cracks a joke unintentionally about how you both could just split it.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

You really think this man doesn’t like to cuddle? Oh, no. You’re mistaken. He will insist on cuddles. There is nothing more that he loves, especially when he comes home from a case.

If it’s a normal day, or if you’re upset, he’s the big spoon. Spencer loves to have you facing him so that he can watch you sleep, in the least creepy way possible. Tucking you into him, feeling your body heat, heart beat, and soft breaths escaping your nose; all of that makes him feel better. It helps him know that you’re there with him. You’re not a figment of his imagination.

However, if he’s had a long case, a bad day; Spencer is the little spoon. It’s almost comical how he’s able to curl his body up into such a tiny little ball. But this man is going to need one arm wrapped around him, the other hand in his hair, and you reassuring him that everything is going to be okay. It’s the one time that Reid is the quietest, so feel free to spout on about something random. Listening to someone else ramble is soothing to the number one rambler.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Spencer was a child prodigy; this man cannot cook to save his life. Not unless it was an instant meal that he just had to heat up and eat. So he would be perfectly alright with someone who only knew how to make kraft Mac and cheese. But if you knew how to actually cook, well, you might just be able to make this man eat properly for the first time.

Cleaning, though, he’s got that down pat. He will not, under any circumstance let you do it though. Spencer tells you it’s because he doesn’t want you to get your hands dirty, so he tells you not to clean his apartment even if you live there too. Not because he thinks you can’t, but he’s got his own process and cleaning solutions that the likes to use and he wont change them. Besides, if you’re doing the cooking, he may as well do the cleaning.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He’s doing it quickly and efficiently, but no matter what, he can’t lie to you. Reid is telling you that this is for your own betterment. But he’s trying to be sensitive to your feelings while still remaining objective. It makes him feel awful, but he does it.

F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Spencer won’t rush into an engagement, even if he feels it’s time. He’s trying to contain himself and the ring, as he waits for your reaction to when he brings up marriage or children. While he wants to spend the rest of his life with you the second he knows it in his heart, he still needs you to realize it. Especially since he doesn’t pick up on social queues very well still, and occasionally needs a little help from someone like Morgan or Hotch. Cause he is not going to Rossi about that.

There is nothing more that he wants in the world to call you his forever though.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Physically, Spencer is a gentle giant. His hands are always soft somehow, and he touched you like you’re made of glass half the time. Feather-light touches that will trace random shapes on your skin. He loves to nuzzle his face into your neck and just stay there. The other half is spent tackling you into bear hugs because he hasn’t seen you in a week as he has been on the other side of the country. When he decides that he is getting affection, there is nothing stopping him.

Emotionally, Reid is sensitive but not in the way that you would think. He’s not the type to outright say how he’s feeling on account of his job. But if you prompt him, and get him into a safe state of mind, he’ll mention things casually. It’s especially weird though when he mentions something traumatic in the same way that someone talks about the weather. But with you he’s always there to lend an ear. Just be sure to tell him if you want a solution or to vent, because he needs a second to restructure his brain.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Ugh… a hug from Spencer is something that has the power to change your entire day. He adores hugs. They can mean so many things, and each one is alright with him. If you live with him, he’s getting one right before he leaves, and the second you are both home. He’ll squeeze you extra tight if he comes back for his go bag and you’re there in the apartment.

Early season Reid, when he’s still a little noodley, has to wrap you in tight because he doesn’t have the beef to pour what he wants into the hug. Later seasons when he muscles up just a bit are a bit different, because he now has more mass to wrap around you.

I = I Love You (How fast do they say the L-word?)

This man waits, I mean, WAITS, to say it. He’s very slow to trust given his background and job, but once he does, it’s not too much more difficult to worm into that romantic side. Once he knows he does love you, Reid is giving it about two or three months before he finally works up the courage to say it. But once he does, he can’t stop saying it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

A feeling that he is not too attune to. Spencer is very sure of himself most of the time. Not only does his credentials and just having you by his side help his self-esteem, but he’s also just very sure in your relationship. Reid isn’t too worried about you being tempted most of the time, and certainly not himself.

Yet, when he does, it’s deprecating towards his own self. Sometimes, Spencer is terrified that you are going to realize that he’s not the right man for you; not funny enough, not handsome enough, not cool enough, or something of the sort. The kind of thing that he really only thinks about when his walls have been worn down anyways. But when he does, he retreats into himself, looking a bit like a kicked puppy but refusing to go up to make a fool of himself.

Just come over and fawn over him for a little while, and he’ll be back to your lover boy in a second as he becomes putty in your hands.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Under no circumstances do you need to think about sleepy little kisses when he gets back from a case and you’re already asleep, and he’s exhausted. Don’t think about it.

Now that you’re not thinking about that, Spencer kisses you like he’ll never kiss you again no matter where or when. He’s terrified, because of his job and the nature of it, that you might be taken from him. So he always makes sure that the last thing he says is, “I love you,” and the last thing he does is kiss you fiercely. He does have smaller pecks when he’s just moving about the apartment and you cross paths, but he prefers to kiss you properly. But each time, no matter where he kisses you or where you two are, he’s putting so much love in them.

Other than the lips, Reid loves kissing you on top of his head. Being as tall as he is, it’s very difficult to be taller than him. Which makes this the ideal spot for him. On the other hand, he loves when you kiss his neck and chest. There is just something so intimate about the placement that he can’t get enough of. And it doesn’t help that he flushes the prettiest pink when he’s blushes as you pepper kisses down his bare neck and chest.

L = Little Ones (How are they around children?)

Have you seen him with Henry? Those kids don’t stand a chance with him as their dad. Spencer is getting them involved with all things geeky, nerdy, and studious before they can walk or talk. I’m serious, he’s got a book called, “Baby’s Quantum Physics”. This man is getting them started young. He also learns American Sign Language so that they can communicate with their parents easier before speaking.

He’s also reading them the same books that his mom read to him when he was a child. And while he wants his kids to like the same things he does, he also respects them if they have other interests, like sports. While he can’t really participate, he’ll read about all about it and gladly talk history with them.

Make him a girl dad, and he will gladly introduce positive female role models into his daughter’s life, like Marilyn Monroe, or Marie Curie. Oh, and he doesn’t complain about tea parties, princess dress up, makeovers, or hair days. And yes, before you ask, Spencer is learning how to do all sorts of hairstyles for his daughter.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

This honestly depends.

If he’s home, and doesn’t have work that day, everything is slow. The fastest thing he does that morning is making coffee for the both of you. He leaves you in bed, makes the delicious nectar of the gods, and puts it on a tray to bring back to you. Spencer slips underneath the covers, and happily helps you sit up to also enjoy your beverage; made just the way you like. With no schedule to keep, he just enjoys staying in bed with nothing to do except read and spend time with you.

If he’s got work, he’ll be going fast. Reid loves to sleep in, but that comes at a cost most mornings. In order to get to work, he’s got to time the metro just right. He’ll make a coffee to go, and leave yours in a thermos to keep it at the perfect temperature for when you wake up.

N = Nights (How are nights spent with them?)

Again, we’ve got a few different ways this can play out.

He’s home, without work, it’s a slow evening just like the morning. Making dinner is a team endeavor, with both of you retiring to the couch to binge watch a new docu-series he found, talking about different facts that relate to it and providing an additional point of view. It’s comfy, peaceful, and just lovely.

If he’s home, but he’s had a day at work without leaving for a case, he is usually home right about the time you finish up dinner. By the time he gets changed and is in a much comfier state, the food is ready to go on the coffee table along with drinks and silverware. Spencer tends to be a little bit quieter on these nights, but he still wants to talk about your day with you. Asking about his day is a hit or miss. Sometimes he will talk about his day, the antics in the office or a few details from his short cases. Sometimes, he’ll brush everything off, knowing that he’ll talk to you about it eventually.

But if he’s getting back from a long case, domestic or in another state, he’s quiet. Usually because he’s getting back in the wee hours of the night, bordering on the next morning. His bones are heavy, his heart heavier, but he manages to pull his tie and shoes off before collapsing into bed next to you, not bothering to remove anything else.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Spencer is definitely the type to slowly reveal things about himself. Now, not to say that once he gets comfy with you, he won’t trauma dump occasionally, but in the beginning, he’s very careful. The last thing he wants is for you to get scared off by him or his past. But when he does reveal things, it’s usually in the safety of his apartment once he’s had some food and perhaps a glass of wine. Although the wine is not but once in a blue moon.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

This man is the pinnacle of patience. He gets frustrated easily, don’t mistake it. But he’s not very quick to anger. The only time he’s getting angry is when his family is threatened in some fashion, and that includes you. But his job has taught him that he needs to tamp down on those bouts of anger in order to be the best brainiac he can be.

Q = Quizzes (How much do they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

You’re kidding right? He makes sure to read receipts when you two go out together to make sure that eidetic memory works properly. Reid can remember things by sound alone but he likes to be doubly sure. He makes sure to remember every little thing about you. And if someone asks if you like something? Prepare to get yapped at by this man.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The first double date he had with Morgan and Savannah with you on his arm. He couldn’t believe how Morgan immediately welcomed you into the fold, Savannah too. Spencer valued Morgan’s opinion so much, so to know that he instantly loved you almost as much as Spencer did… that was enough to know that he had found the one.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Quite protective. I mean he is an FBI agent; this man knows things. He’s got a security alarm set once you move in as a precaution. Reid will hopefully convince you to take a firearms course so that you can conceal carry at least. If not, he’s leaving a gun where you can reach it, just in case.

For him though, Spencer just needs you to be there for him. Emotional security is what he needs in his life. Physical is fine; he carries a gun everywhere, knows how to fight, has been to prison. There is a void though in the emotional department that he desperately needs to be filled.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; it depends. Spencer never wants to put date nights on nights where he knows that he’s going to be exhausted. He prefers to have time to plan stuff like that. Anniversaries would have to take into account his job. Usually the first Friday or Saturday after he gets back from a case, if he was gone for it, is the makeup date. Although there is a standing Thursday date night every week that could be for anything. Gifts are carefully selected and maybe made if he’s making you something he’s knitting.

And, come on. Spencer is going to show you he loves you each time you’re together, no matter how mundane the task. Especially in the grocery store. He’s in charge of the list because you will miss something to get that his brain won’t.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

One particularly bad habit is his propensity to belittle himself. If he’s joking that’s different. But, late at night, when he’s feeling vulnerable and scared, that’s when you need to come in and tell him otherwise.

His other bad habit is not eating. The receptionist in the lobby of Quantico has come to know your face and name very quickly. She also knows exactly who to buzz you in for, and why you’re there based off of the heavy sigh that leaves you the second you get inside.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not terribly, but it wasn’t always like that. In the beginning, he was super worried about how you would respond to how he looked. Spencer was aware that he was not the most conventionally attractive man in the world, his tie was perpetually crooked, and he couldn’t get his hair under control.

But once he started dating you, Reid realized that you didn’t want hm to change the way he looked, which really helped with his self esteem. And having you in his apartment to help straighten out his tie in morning also helped.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

If you were gone, he would be devastated. It didn’t matter if you were dead or just too far, Spencer was hoping that you were right there with him. If you were dead, Reid would mourn you for a long while, and even after he was out of that phase, he’s remembering you through the small things.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

You being of a different culture than American would be a joy for him. He’d love to learn all about your native culture; the food, language, and different cultural practices. Anything to better understand you and your family. Especially if your parent’s first language isn’t English. The first time he meets them, he’s greeting them in their mother tongue, which makes them very, very excited.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Germs, though he does get better. He also can’t stand people who talk or sing loudly during things like movies or musicals. Spencer understands that it’s part of the experience, just don’t do it too loud, ya know?

In a partner, if you shut him down in the middle of his factoid ramble, he gets quiet after. He’s so used to everyone else doing it to him, but not you.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

This man sleeps like the dead. He enjoys being able to sleep in, and going to bed early. Sleep is so hard to come by when he’s out on a case so it’s nice when he gets a little extra at home. And Spencer LOVES naps. Give this man a nap, and he’s ready to go for the rest of the day. Coffee and then a nap? Perfection. Coffee plus nap plus cuddles from you? Match made in heaven.

[dnfity]

hii! i was just wondering what the if i loved you less means? its cute!

"if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more" The george quote of all time.

i always think about george and the way he's described by his peers as silly and always able to light up a room. and while those qualities are very much true, there's a quieter part of him that goes un-talked about, that can even go unnoticed when he won't tell you "i love you" six-and-a-half hours into his longest livestream ever. when saying "i love you" is as easy as breathing to you but seems like choking on air for him.

he won't tell you he loves you, but he'll sit on call with you while you go through the motions of your latest obsession. he won't tell you he loves you, but he'll get on stage with you to sing a song even though he'd usually be uncomfortable with that, all because you asked him to. he won't tell you he loves you, but if you go down, he'll crash and burn with you.

george doesn't tend to show his love through words. because words don't feel Enough.

how can it, when love for him is all-consuming, all-encompassing, when putting it into words would only take away from its intensity?

it's an inability to truly articulate everything that he feels. it's an acknowledgement that he loves deeply, that the words are close to his heart and not the tip of his tongue. it's an implication that love can transcend spoken word, that it can be found in the gentle way he looks at you.

but maybe, just maybe, if he loved you any less, he'd be able to talk about it more.

[aziraphales-library]

Hi, i hope you don't get asked this too much, but could you recommend some established relationship fics? canon or au is fine, but not kid fic, if that's possible. Thank you.

Hey. We have an #established relationship tag you can check out. Here are some more to add to the collection...

Where the Cliffs Meet the Sky by springofviolets (M)

Crowley plans a meaningful, romantic anniversary trip to celebrate 1 year of being openly in a relationship with Aziraphale, but things keep going wrong! How will our hero cope? A South Downs Cottage origins story.

One Hundred Days by Lady of Prompts (G)

They should have discussed it more. Wasn’t that what humans did? Spend weeks and months talking about what sort of home they want, what sort of life, dreaming of what moving in together will be like. Making sure their dreams matched up, their expectations. They didn’t buy cottages – in the middle of a forest, no less, half a mile from the nearest village – without considering questions of…of hobbies, and use of space and…and living arrangements. They certainly didn’t take such a step without…defining their relationships. -- Aziraphale only begins to consider the implications of *moving in together* after they've already done it.

Hozier Missed A Trick When He Called It 'Real People' Instead Of 'Joe Bloggs Snogs' by indieninja92 (E)

Months after Armageddoff, Crowley and Aziraphale enjoy a cosy night in. A brief moment of anxiety about a completely invented turn of events sends them off on a rambly, giggling conversation that asks, if they were human, what kinds of humans would they be? Very silly ones, it's safe to say.

Five Times They Weren't Very Sexy and One Time They Aced It by ZehWulf (E)

“Have you ever wondered what it feels like?” Crowley asks while contemplating the dregs at the bottom of his wine glass. He’s aiming for philosophical but fears the faint wheeze at the end of the question might have given him away. “Have I ever wondered what ‘what’ feels like,” Aziraphale asks finally. “Sex,” he says, much louder than intended or reasonable. They both wince.  “Oh, have you never…?” Aziraphale asks with polite disbelief. “You have?” Crowley demands. Look, when you're largely inexperienced sex-favorable asexual ineffables, it takes a bit of practice, a lot of communication, and some bull-headed persistence to get your sex life in commendable working order. Or, five times things got (hilariously) awkward during sex, and one time after they've got it mostly figured out. A companion fic to "Scratching That Itch." (Sex acts, such as they are, tagged per chapter in chapter notes!)

a moment's silence by viperinz (T)

Crowley rubs a hand down his face, sighing. “Then you know that you shouldn’t have done that.” “It was the only choice I had. If you got smitten—” Aziraphale swallows, feeling his back throb in pain. “You would have died right where you stood. I could not allow that.” Crowley’s mouth turns into a thin line, his fury radiating through the room. “So, what? It was better if it was you rather than me that took the hit?” “Yes!” Aziraphale exclaims, sitting up in bed. He winces as his back protests the movement, but he needs Crowley to understand. “You deserve better than what I was able to ever give you, and you need to help Muriel and the Messiah. If I ceased to exist, nothing would change the outcome of stopping all of this.” “No, you don’t get to say that.” Crowley walks up to the bed. “If you think I’ll ever stand to lose you again, then you’re bloody wrong. The outcome would be different because I wouldn’t have you, you daft thing.” After everything is said and done, Aziraphale has to learn to adjust to life on Earth after seven years of being in Heaven. Luckily, Crowley is there to help him heal, and to give him the love that he feels he's lost.

we shall have the world forever for our own by quitequaintrelle (M)

Your new beginning starts here! Lying wholly within the South Downs National Park, the village of Wood’s Bottom is your destination for an idyllic retirement. This quaint hamlet is a short five miles away from the seaside resort of Brighton, with its vibrant array of shopping, culture, and leisure attractions. Boasting stunning landscape views, entirely average weather conditions, welcoming neighbours, and intimate rural charm, Wood’s Bottom is your opportunity to live the exceptionally normal and relaxing lifestyle you’ve always dreamed of. Aziraphale and Crowley have finally found their forever home after successfully ensuring there is still a “forever” to share. Surely they will integrate perfectly well amongst their new neighbours. Surely.

- Mod D

[lolitastories]

Soldier

Bucky Barnes

“There you are!” I raise my head to a certain redhead. She had a bright smile as she rushed over to sit beside me. “Look!” My eyes widened as I looked at the picture on her screen. She has always been able to read my mind so when I tried to speak, she already knew what I was going to ask. “It was part of some article about Steve.”

“God,” I groan.  I pull the phone closer and zoom in on only Bucky. “He was such a precious baby. Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.” I couldn’t help but feel giddy just by saying his name.

“Does the cigarette do anything for you?” I look at her with furrowed brows. “I know you say you hate men or people in general who smoke but don’t lie-” She wiggles her brows giving me a playful shove. “You think he looks more than cute,” I roll my eyes pushing myself out the couch before I confess something I shouldn’t. As I walk towards the kitchen to prepare a drink, she turns herself over to lean against the couch. “Your knees would be weakened by his sole presence. You would flutter your eyes as he would speak to you in that 1940’s Brooklyn accent.” I look at her through my lashes as I shake my head. “Then he would invite you to a date at the fair, holding hands, eating ice cream and like a gentleman he would walk you home,” I looked up seeing how her big grin grew even bigger. She takes a pause before spitting out her next words. “Then fuck you into oblivion” I gasped reaching over to grab a single grape and throw it at her.

“Shut up Nat!” Of course, she smoothly avoided my deadly grape and continued to laugh.

“You can’t tell a lie! I can see right through you.” I roll my eyes, ignoring her completely.  I grabbed the bowl of grapes and started washing them. “He hasn’t dated anyone yet.” I was focused on washing the grapes, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t have an ear out to what she was saying. “There are girls who would love to date like in the 1940s. But do you think Bucky would adapt or stay the same?” I set the bowl on the counter and begin drying the grapes. My eyes still look down as I do the task as I begin to think about her question. “It would be hard to break a habit since for him it's only been a couple of years.”

“A major part of a relationship is compromising. I think when he chooses to date again the girl, he picks will be open to those kinds of dates.” Who wouldn’t? “Plus, you can never go wrong with a fair date.”

“Got a fair date?” I stupidly look up. My first thought was how easy it was for Nat to change her voice to a deeper tone but then I look over to find Bucky walking into the room. “Didn’t pick you for those kinds of things” It stung a little to hear those words from him. I gave him a little smile but that was the only thing my body allowed me to do.

“She might not seem like it, but she likes all that lovey Dovey stuff.” Thank God for Nat. “She loves too many rom-coms and that's the reason why she doesn’t have a favorite movie.” I looked up trying to give her a look that said, “Thank you for making it less awkward but you don’t need to continue!” “She hates big crowds, but you will see her smile at every person who passes by. She’s a sucker for romantic gestures and loves flowers!” She exaggerates as she opens her hands wide, because it was true, I do love flowers. “I know women nowadays say that flowers are just a waste of money, and she will agree,” I looked down at the fresh clean grapes as I felt both Bucky and eyes on me. “But I also know she’s a sucker for any bouquet. She romanticizes everything! The fair is her favorite ambiance which I was shocked to find out because the air is filled with the thing she hates most-”

“Cigarette smell.” I look up hearing Bucky instantly respond.

“Yeah!” Nat points out but at that moment as she continues to ramble on, Bucky and I are looking at each other. “She loves the lights, the adrenaline from the rides!”

“So, you got a date?” He whispers, raising one brow. I look over smiling at Nat who continues talking but simply shakes my head.

“She hates all that deep fried stuff, so she never eats there, which I tell her she is definitely missing out on.” I watch as Bucky opens his mouth but restrains himself when we notice Nat now standing on the other side of the island.

“Care for a drink?” Bucky nods. I grab a glass and place ice on it before pouring his choice of alcohol. “Nat.”

“Hmm?” She says a little distracted. “It's 2.” I turn to her with the finished drink in my hand and wait for her to catch on.

“Shit is it really?” She grabs Bucky's arm and pulls it closer to see the time in his watch. “Got to go!” She smiles before waving goodbye and running out of the room.

“You would think she would be always on time since she is an agent and everything” I laugh walking over to hand him his drink.

“In her defense the problems you guys deal with don’t have a certain schedule,” He nods agreeing while taking a drink. “Plus, she was stalling because she’s the one going on a date.” He looks over shocked. I smiled as I grabbed the bowl of grapes and started walking over to the couch. “Now you will be more surprised to know Bruce built up the nerve to ask her.”

“Bruce?” He asked. Which I turn my head from the couch and nod. “Good for him.” He took another drink before he started walking over to me. “So,” I untangle my legs and plant my feet on the ground to let him sit beside me.

“Yeah?” Bucky and I became friends over the years. Hanging out with Nat allowed me to enter the avengers inner circle. We got stuck together while watching a movie and spent the night whispering to each other. Since the end of that night we started getting closer and closer.

“I got you this.” I looked down as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a little trinket. I place the bowl on the coffee table before grabbing it from his hand. “If I knew how much you liked rom-coms I would have chosen La Vie En Rose,” I bit my lip holding back a chuckle. One time Sam and Bucky came back from a mission, and he was bragging about a little trinket someone had given him, and I mentioned I liked it. Months later on the next mission and the ones following that, he always came back with something in hand.

“You can get it for me next time,” I joke. I opened up the small little music box and turned the handle. “This one is perfect, thank you.” I look up to find a smile on his face as well. We burst out laughing as the Pirate of the Caribbean song started playing. “Yeah, this one is perfect.” I look back over to him but then my eyes fall towards our hands. I didn’t notice when it happened, but he was holding my hand in between his own. I flinched to pull away but froze when he lifted my hand and pulled it closer to his chest.

“So, you don’t have a date?” I couldn’t tell you how fast I looked up to search his face, but his eyes were plastered to our hands. I felt his thumb gently trace over my palm.

“No,” I let out with a shaky breath.

“Would you like to go on a date?” He said it so unfazed I thought he was joking but when he finally looks up his eyes are full of wonder. His brows raised up just a bit waiting on my answer. “We can go to the fair.” His tone was low. “You-”

“Yes,” It was like a last breath of air I let out. I didn’t want him to change his mind. “I would love to go on a date with you.”

“Okay.” He nods nervously as he lets out a chuckle. “I will apologies in advance because I will come off as old school- like old old school-” I laugh, removing my hand and grabbing his face.

“Good for you then, I have a thing for old school romance,” He laughs as he places his hand over mine. “Even if it's old, old school.”

“Yeah?” He says a little teasingly.

“Yeah.” I fix my posture. “I think it's hot.” I felt my nervous calming down and we were back to joking with each other. “People call it daddy issues but, in your case, would it be grandfather issues?”

“Seems like either way you have a problem.” I opened my mouth, acting offended.

“Says the one going on a date with someone who is 82 years younger than them.” He raises his finger with a smile

“Technically 8 years.” I raise my finger challenging him

“Technically you are 106 years old. so do some math, grandpa.”

“Oh, wrong choice of word!” We make some distance between us when we hear Sam walking into the room. “Last time I called him that he threatened to disappear me,” I looked over to Bucky who was giving him a death glare. “And that is the nice way to put it because I don’t want to bore you with the details, it was graphic” I laugh not believing Bucky would do such a thing. “So, what are you going to tell her, huh?” He grinned leaning against the island. Bucky turns over slowly, giving me a wink and that blows my breath away.

“I’ll see you tonight.” He whispered low enough for only us to hear. I held back my urge to smile even bigger, but I didn’t know it was possible. He patted my hands before standing up.

“What?” Sams shrieks raising his hands in disbelief. “Wait.” Bucky stops in the middle of the room and places his hands in his front pockets. “You are just going to let her off the hook. No warning or threats? How is that fair?” Bucky takes long and short strides over towards Sam. I could see the life drain from Sam's body; I can imagine how intimidating Bucky must look.

“Because it's her.” He pointed out plain and simple.

“But I'm me?” He smiles, proud of himself.

“Not even close.” Sam slaps his chest playfully, taking offense to his words. “Plus, she’s pretty.” With a simple shrug he turns around and walks out of the room.

“Don’t you dare start blushing!” I looked up stunned knowing blushing was an understatement. I was totally red like a tomato.  “You don’t even know his favorite color!” He grabs his newly fixed drink and starts walking away. “Pretty? I am prettier, Bucky!” He walks out screaming behind Bucky. I don’t think I could laugh any longer. My mind was preoccupied with a certain person. Did he say tonight? Shit. I am going on a date with Bucky tonight.

“I got just the thing for you to wear.” Thank God I am not an agent because the many times I haven’t noticed someone walk in would be concerning.

“You're an angel” I rush over to Nat.

“I knew it would get Bucky’s mind running when he heard you might be going on a date. Now let's get you ready for your soldier!” Mine. Baby steps, but I can feel it deep down that this won’t be our last date.

"Wait," I stopped in my tracks turning over to her. "What happened to your date with Bruce?" She smiles towards the floor.

"I got to excite and thought it was today. When I walked into his lab, I felt stupid and ran away." Of course she did. I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pulled her close.

"Okay well since you are helping me out tonight, I will help you out tomorrow, deal?"

"Deal."

[auranya]

Let 2025 be your year of NO

I was watching an interview recently with Yara Shahidi, where she talked about having a year of No and a year of Yes. This got me thinking about how many times I’ve said yes to things when really I wanted to say no.

Don’t want to go out to a club or a party. Say no. Don’t have the energy to hangout. Say no. Only have a budget to spend money on your meal and no one else’s. Say no. Someone wants to take you out, but you’re not interested. Politely decline and say no. People offer you more to eat and you are already full. Say no. Feel like the job you are being offered isn’t giving you your worth. Say no. Don’t want to be around people you don’t care for. Say no. No longer taking less than you deserve. Walk away and say no.

Some of these examples may seem ridiculous but people pleasing happens on minor levels. Stop the habit of saying YES when you want to say NO. Try it with something small. At first you might feel a little strange but once you get in the habit of it, you start to feel like you are standing up for yourself. You don’t have to say no to everything, but understand your time and worth is precious. Everything and everyone does not deserve your energy.

This is a form of self love. You have to be able to put yourself first.

[fizziepopangel]

A Fizziepop Take: Let’s talk about the anti-Blitz bash

I’m still fairly new to Reddit, but I saw this post on it and I wanna talk about it. No hate to the OG Reddit poster or anyone else who shares this opinion, I just have some thoughts about it, so let’s get into it because I actually get the “Fuck Blitz Party”.

Ok, so we all know that Blitz, while being a definite fan favorite in the show, and the shows literal namesake, Blitz is bad at love, BUT in order to talk about why this party is actually “necessary” in a way, we first need to talk about Blitz and his ideas of what love is vs what kind of “love” he himself deserves. Within the fragmented bits of flashbacks and from what we’ve actually heard from the mouths of the characters, we’ve been able to start piecing together backstories for some of them…. But as of right now, I wanna look at the bits and pieces of Blitz’s past that we’ve been slowly accumulating throughout the last 2 seasons because we get to see a lot of what made him the way he is now. Starting off strong, we have an abusive father, a best friend turned enemy, a sister gone no contact, and the tragic death of a mother…. Yikes. Thats like 4 tiers on a tragedy cake, which is why it so heavily influences how he experiences love as an adult; trauma changes the brain chemistry, meaning that from the first time his father spoke down to him and treated him as lesser than Barbie and/or Fizz, the imp’s perception of himself and the world around him began to shift, and with each new trauma came a new sense of everything within and around him. Within his formative years, we see him lose the 3 close relationships (his mom, his sister, and his best friend), and it happens literally one after the other after the other, which in his mind solidified the ideas of worthlessness his father planted in him at such a young age. 

What does this all have to do with Blitz’s exes hating him enough to throw a party about it in the current day? I know a lot of people hate this phrase (myself included honestly), but “hurt people, hurt people”. It’s a cheap line, I know, but there’s not too many ways to explain it that don’t boil down to this idea at it’s core when it comes to Blitz…. But here’s the thing: Blitz never truly wants to hurt anyone, he just kinda does it and even he doesn’t understand completely why he feels the need to fuck up every good thing he seems to get his hands on. On the outside looking in, we as an audience know that Blitz is bad at love because he’s been conditioned to equate his worth with what he can give/what he can do (think of how his dad manipulated him into stealing from stolas, or no one seemed to laugh during his jokes in the circus), and this mentality strongly affected how he’s able to cultivate relationships now because he’s still constantly looking at all his relationships as transactional because it’s the only way he believes he deserves to be loved by anyone. A lot of people say that you can’t love someone until you love himself, meaning that Blitz’s own self hatred is holding him back from meaningful relationships, which is true, but it’s less a case of the imp being unable to love and more a case of him being uncomfortable with intimacy and therefore not entirely knowing how to accept or show it. We that man has so much love in his body to give to those he surrounds himself with that it is almost sickening, but because he’s not comfortable with receiving the same type of loving energy he puts into others, when it happens and someone shows a genuine interest in him past just sex, he panics and goes on the offense. Think of him like a dog who’s been attacked by other dogs; after the first time, they might be a little scared, after the second, they’ll probably start to become a little more skittish and on edge when other dogs approach them even if its someone they once enjoyed being near, but by the third and fourth times its happened, that dog will start viewing every other dog as a potential threat and they’ll react by being the aggressor because “if I hurt them first, they can’t hurt me”.

I know by this point, everyone is probably still like “Fizzie, why does this mean that his exes hate him enough to throw a party like that?” and “How did he date that many people?”

Simply put: Blitz didn’t “date” all those people. If I had to guess, I would honestly say he probably only ever had real relationships with about a quarter of the people at the party. Why is that? Because I Blitz used sex as a coping mechanism for most of his life… if I were to go based solely on vibes, I think this likely started because his father realized he could rent his son out for more “playdates” after what happened with Stolas when they were children, meaning that he would have equated sex with being desired, and I think for a long time being desired in any way was better than not being wanted at all in his eyes… But with his fear of intimacy and being left to rot after having fallen for someone, I think he took the hurt them before they hurt me approach, so I think a lot of the people there were in a mostly one-sided relationship with him, one that Blitz never truly viewed as romantic intimate relationships, hence why he says he can’t believe he’s fucked that many people rather than dated that many. Looking at things from this perspective, it would make a lot more sense since Blitz not viewing most relationships as exclusive would mean he potentially had his connections and fun with multiple people within the same timeline. Do I think Blitz is a cheater? Not by nature, but I also think that when he was using this mentality anyone who wanted to have a relationship with him where he didn’t wander from their bed would have had to explicitly specify that to him, and I think that a lot of these exes either assumed he would hold their relationship to the same standards they did or, when they would bring it up or mention the word ‘love’ in anything more than a joking manner, he would cut and run, likely doing something in the end to show them that he was not worth the love they attempted to pour into him, like he did with Verosika.

Assuming this is the way things went down with the exes at the party, it’s likely that a lot of them never truly got the closure they needed to fully heal from hurricane Blitz… And though I don’t think he ever meant to hurt this many people to that point, I think it was a sort of wakeup call to him to see that not only have these people trauma bonded over him to the point where the party is almost like a support group for these people, but it also opened his eyes to how Stolas felt about him because he was at this party to essentially drink the heartbreak away for the night. Despite the end of Stolitz being heartbreaking, I think that the party scenes were necessary to the beginning of Blitz’s personal growth story-line, and the potential beginning of a better version of the Stolitz we all love.

Anyway… as always this is only the humble opinion of a simple Fizziepop, and I’d love to know what other people think about the annual gathering of his exes to trauma bond over one man. I personally love the way it plays into Stolas and Blitz’s  breakup and healing arcs…. And also I’m a pisces so I do tend to be a lil dramatic sometimes and live for things and people as dramatic and extra as I tend to be.

[ruffaloon]

Hawkeye & BJ | No Big Deal (I Love You)

these two make me sick. here's a fanvid about all the things they can't help but leave unsaid.

[yrsonpurpose]

This scene is such a pivotal moment in the film but also in their relationship.

[ulgapodatkowa]

cry all you want but at the end of the day I am forever and always a slut for "the confession comes from the seemingly less emotional one of the two" trope and I will watch it again and again to devour it properly

[introspectivememories]

too many of you guys think nico is the loser and not lewis for letting the divorce go on for so long. like they're both losers about each other. emotionally constipated idiots who can't talk about their toxic homoerotic friendship that imploded on itself like 8 years ago and are now making it everyone else's problem. yeah nico's on television or in beer gardens talking about lewis all the time but like every other month some reporter is like "lewis, what's your favorite moment in your career?" and lewis no hesitation is like "oh man, karting, y'know? everything was simpler then" and then spends another six months skirting around nico's name. like this whole thing they're doing in the media isn't some kinda extended foreplay for them. they're both still pressing on the bruise to make sure it's still there!!! every few months, they're literally just asking on public television, does it still hurt for you like it does for me? and like clockwork, someone will release new information about them or one of them will say something about each other (in my heart, he's still my best friend/yes... and teammate) and the answer will remain the same, yes, of course, always.

[jimmyspades]

she looks like the real thing she tastes like the real thing my fake plastic love

[gayofthefae]

The entire show: Mike is good at telling the truth and bad at lying Mike is good at telling the truth and bad at lying Mike is good at telling the truth and bad at lying

Mike: can't tell El he loves her

Everyone: it's so sad how he can't tell her because it's just too true

[marlokelly]

i am like obsessed with the way christina ricci always describes misty with such a finality. “she knows no one’s ever going to like her” and “isn’t capable of being the best version of herself”. and by obsessed i mean it makes me miserable.

[fangwhoria]

yayyyyy buck!!!! yay!!!!!!!! hes found his forever home!!! yippee!!!!!!

[lostandbackagain]

he's afraid of death. he wants to die sometimes. he's good with animals; not his own. he's good with kids; not his own. he makes nonviolence a flaw. he's a judgmental bitch. his sense of danger is on a ten second delay. he's a coward. he loves his wife so much his legs give out when he sees her. he cheated on her. he hates the powerful. he'll sell his morals for community. he's gullible. he won't gatekeep magic, even from his enemies. he "doesn't do magic." he's nosy as hell. he swears constantly. he will always get into fights with children. he will always lose. he hates cages in all forms. he has never verbalized a thought correctly.